#i don't know what the addition is but I wanted to tack it on

[little-annie]

T| WC 1k | Steddie | Uncle Wayne POV

"You love him don't you?" Wayne whispers, breathy, quiet, his voice cracking around the edges of something that feels like raw emotion.

It's then that Eddie turns his gaze away from Steve to look at him, the light never fading from his eyes and the smile never wiping from his face.

Steve's sitting on the trailer floor, in the middle of the living room, Eddie's clothes hanging from his body as he flips through one of Eddie's many monster manuals. Wayne knows the boy would never admit it, but he's just as interested in D&D as the other kids. He's helping Eddie plan his next campaign for christ sake.

Next to Wayne, two cans of coke in hand and a love struck smile on his face, Eddie nods, his cheeks darkening as his smile ever so slightly fades. "Is that okay?" He asks, looking all the bit nervous as his eyes roam Wayne's face.

"More than okay, Son."

Eddie's smile brightens once again and if Wayne notices the small amount of tears welling in his eyes, he says nothing about.

"You ever going to tell him?" Wayne continues, nodding in Steve's direction, the boy still oblivious to the conversation being whispered behind his back.

"I don't know if I can."

Wayne says nothing to Eddie's reply as he watches the boy return to the living room where he sits down next to his best friend. Steve smiling bright as the sun upon Eddie's return.

Months go by and Wayne gets to watch as Steve falls too. It's there and so obvious to anyone but Eddie.

His eyes linger and his smile never fades. Soon Wayne sees as he sits a little closer and his cheeks grow a little pinker.

There's moments when Wayne catches what he can only describe as a love struck expression across Steve's face. Eddie's talking, because when is he not, and Steve's there, eyes wide and locked onto Eddie's ever changing expression. 

He looks fond. Fond in a way Wayne's never seen anyone look at his nephew.

There's moments when he sees Steve hesitant. Moments when he and Eddie are so close and Steve's hand twitches like it wants to reach out. Moments when Steve looks like he wants to lean in but bites his lip and turns away with rosy cheeks.

It's nearly a year into their friendship when Steve's standing at Wayne's side and whispers, "I think I love him."

"Tell him," Wayne answers easily, leaving out the 'please' he so desperately wants to tack onto the end of that sentence.

Please, he thinks again as he watches Eddie turn to face them from across the yard, a smile so beautiful Wayne thinks it's the first time he's seen it on Eddie's face. The boy's elbow deep in his van as his cheeks grow a little pinker as he says with a smile, "Stevie, come here for a sec."

Steve leaves, but not before whispering back to Wayne, "I think I will."

No more than a week later Wayne comes home to find the boys on the couch, Steve sleeping and curled into Eddie's side, snoring with his nose pressed to Eddie's neck. 

Wayne offers his boy a smile as he stirs from the sound of the door closing. He looks tired, arms tightening around Steve's waist as he smiles back and burrows closer, kissing the top of Steve's head before drifting back off. 

"He loves me," Eddie says one evening, weeks down the road, a rare occasion when Steve isn't over, and Eddie's actually home.

Wayne smiles, his heart so warm and full as he says, "I know."

Steve's been over for a few weeks now. Part of Wayne's convinced he's moved in, what with the new additions to their fridge and bathroom vanity. The idea doesn't upset him in the least. 

He's gotten to witness their love grow during that time anyway.

He's gotten to witness the way Steve kisses a grumpy Eddie good morning until he finally smiles.

Or the way Eddie lights up when Steve's arms wrap around his waist and he whispers an "I love you, Eds," that Wayne isn't sure if he's supposed to hear.

Or the way they giggle and kiss and love one another in such a beautiful and uninhibited way.

Granted too, sometimes that means Wayne's hears a bit too much. Eddie would be mortified to know there's been far too many occasions in which Wayne's had to leave the trailer to escape the gasping breaths that occasionally pour out from under his bedroom door.

Though this time, Wayne's inside as the boys are on the roof smoking and he thanks the lord above that all he can hear are the faintest of whispers. 

There's only parts of the conversation that he catches, but his heart swells when he hears Eddie's voice so clearly say, "I'm gonna marry you someday, Steve Harrington."

Wayne cries the day Eddie shows him the ring. 

And cries even harder when Steve shows him his.

Steve's hand is shaking where the single golden band lies on his ring finger, Eddie standing directly behind him, arm around his waist with a smile that matches Steve's in the way it resembles Sunshine.

They can't marry, not legally anyways. But that doesn't stop Jim Hopper from officiating a ceremony or Joyce Byers from walking Steve down the aisle. 

The backyard to Hoppers cabin is filled with faces Wayne has grown familiar with over the years. Young and old, smiling and crying all the same.

Dustin and Robin both write speeches, both as rambling and as funny as they are beautifully heart wrenching.

There's not a dry eye in the house.

The boys move into an apartment where they build a life together.

Wayne visits often for meals or a cup of coffee in the mornings, still delighting in the way his Eddie seems so wonderfully overcome with love and affection. 

He'd thought he'd shed enough tears for his lifetime at the wedding, but one evening, sat at the table with Robin Buckley and his boys, Wayne finds out he's gonna be a grandpa. 

Elaine Birdie Munson is her name.

Sunshine, they call her instead.

[athletearrhythmia]

Needles coming up again

First wanted to reference back my thoughts on this from awhile ago:

but I also wanted to say some of the comments I'm seeing around aren't oriented to harm reduction, they're just tearing down people who engage in needle play and post it. Which is not going to save anyone. It's going to galvanize and sequester folks which will cascade into riskier behavior.

I guess what gets my goat about it especially is why I've pulled back from a good number of folks, which is engaging in dark cardio play as a means or extension of self harm. People know this stuff is dangerous and stupid, you don't need to remind them. That's not going to "wake them up". Some people by comparison just... like doing it. Neither case will respond to this approach.

I don't offer a definitive solution, i just don't vibe with yelling at people. I appreciate things like folks declaring that they'll disengage from the content: that I think does something.

So here's my additional thoughts to tack on to my last post:

If your perception of reckless behavior is that it doesn't matter because your life is so bad or meaningless that the consequences can't make it worse, you're depressed and you need help. Getting help isn't easy. But you need it.

If you feel a strong desire or need to do this for sexual gratification, you need to find healthier outlets. I struggle with this immensely myself. I'm open about liking and engaging with this content and some of its creators. The best I can do for myself is dark roleplay or using already existing content, and playing with generally safer dark play (which will always carry its own risk). The ideal would be to not find it gratifying. I don't know how to.

You should never engage with someone whose relationship to you is conditional on risking your health-- people you actually talk to or "fans" of your content. Anyone pressuring you to play with needles, especially when you're on the fence or have expressed you don't want to, doesn't have your best interests in mind. If you walk back wanting to do it, regardless of if you ever have done it, avoid the people who don't support your decision.

I'm never not going to end a public discussion of needle play without reemphasizing its danger. The possible bad outcomes are catastrophic and there's almost no way to mitigate the risk.

I'll add as well that the community has an obligation (IMO) to make sure newer or younger participants know how dangerous this kind of play is. Don't allow people to stay naive.

[doberbutts]

@quark-nova it's already a really long post because I blabbered on for a hot minute but I did want to keep talking so I seperated your tags out I hope that's ok

I have actually seen people do this about trans fems too and honestly I think it is exactly what you're saying- that people lack the idea of intersectionality and instead want to view oppression as additive or subtractive. I see people doing this the most when they are trying to frame something as progressive, when instead it is filled with a lot of bigoted language.

Like the example given of Blue Eye Samurai and a group of people claiming it's a racist and sexist problem of white trans mascs, ignoring the trans mascs of color (and even asian and *Japanese* trans mascs in their notes disagreeing with them), while the posts are filled with genuinely fairly TERF-y language. They say "no no I can't be a TERF I love and support my trans brothers and also I support trans fem Mizu headcanons" while also saying "trans men are stealing women's resources and making everything about them". They just tack "white" onto the second statement so you don't think too hard about the transphobia of that sentence.

I find this most transparent when someone asks for an explination of how a trans masc seeing themselves in Mizu is racist, because instead of an explination it's "oh my god white people always ask people of color to do the work instead of researching it themselves, why do you always want us to explain ourselves why can't you just listen to me". I understand where the frustration comes from because I've been on the receiving end of stupidass white people who refuse to actually absorb anything they've been told about racism, but also... don't start a discussion about race if you aren't willing to, you know, discuss. Because then it just becomes obvious that you're using it as weapon and shield and you're not actually interested in anything except an echo chamber that agrees with you and accepts anything you say.

[manic-sapphic]

~~absolutely love that adora kinda looks insulted when she demands prime let catra go and his response is "i'll give her to you - if you want her.."

i hear the look on her face saying "oooh you mf'er how dare you - ofc i want this btch why else would i be here ?? i want her and only her tbh - (i just don't know it yet but i will def doomslay ur entire flagship if u don't gimme this kitty fr")

- (every time i watch catra hold herself, just tryna keep from falling apart - i fall apart. just a teeny tiny bit. itty bitty shred of my jagged stone heart chips off, but idc tho - she's worth it <3)

( also - the way adora tries to stand but her legs give way beneath her is just another addition to the list of reasons it's all so heart breakingly gut wrenching [yee i combo'd the phrases - it feels warranted fr] cause the fact she can't stand tells the audience she's gotta be in a lot of pain too that is only healed after she suddenly transforms- and she's ignoring that pain, so focused on catra that we don't even see her react to it aside from being unable to stand.. damnit adora <3 )

~~sooo the promise moment really is just - ahhh. gets to me. i read it as this unspoken question that catra knows she doesn't need to explain - she just needs to say one word and knows adora will understand what she's truly asking -

"promise?" - i read this as catra not just asking if adora promises to take her home - but asking for a much deeper, broader hope of reinstating their first promise. to stick together and look out for each other.

a promise that was broken by both of them tbh but at this point catra decided to keep it for what she figured would be her last chance to do so in corridors, and then here in save the cat adora comes back and holds up her side of their promise as well.

after all that time apart as enemies, they each risked their lives and more and fulfilled a promise that seemed long forgotten. and i see catra here as putting forth a desperate, hopeful plea to agree on renewing that promise for good- and not just taking her home, but acknowledging that what home really means is the two of them staying together, no matter what.

and without hesitation, adora replies, "i promise."

she understands what catra's really asking; imo there are so many words that pass between them during and just after save the cat that are never actually said - thank you's and apologies and explanations that they mutually recognize and know the other feels and genuinely means w/o ever needing to make each other say it.

mistakes were made on both sides & they've both realized by then that sticking together was and always had been what they needed to do, cause they were finally starting to admit to themselves that what they both really needed all along, more than anything else, was each other. <3

ps i thought i'd tack on my previous rant about adora choosing to jump down after catra in save the cat cause that moment makes my heart implode every time~

(& cause when she does that - it's her keeping the promise that she had just restored. it's her determined refusal to ever, ever break it again - no matter what. even if it kills her - just like catra in the finale, fighting the monster and refusing to leave when adora tells her to. these lovelies would much rather die w each other than live without the other - and they definitely figure that out the hard way, but the only thing that really matters is that they do figure it out~~)

---jump in save the cat rant---

when adora chooses to jump down after catra, the fact that she is, innately, she-ra is still something adora has almost no clue of whatsoever. her expression lingers in the frame just before she throws herself down after catra, recalling the fixed look of equally determined resolve we see on catra’s own face in corridors when the decision to save glimmer (and, yes, most importantly to catra, save adora by extension) is cemented in her mind; a decision catra makes, mind you, not expecting to survive it. and imo, same goes for adora & this moment in save the cat.

adora chooses to follow catra into the darkness, despite her currently regarding her connection to she-ra as gone and having no expectation of manifesting the nearly invincible power she could rely on from being she-ra in the past (and therefore lacking any way to heal catra, even if she could get them both to safety, there’s no way she’s unaware that catra’s body is pretty much guaranteed to be broken beyond repair after the shock her nervous system got from prime when disabling the chip, coupled with the long fall.)

and to me - the most poignant thing this tells the audience about adora making this choice is that she didn’t leap down after catra because she was clinging to the hope that, somehow, she could still save her.

instead, she willingly fell to depths unknown, the landing completely obscured by shadows that she just watched consume catra, simply because she knew that catra would be down there all on her own, and there was absolutely no fucking way that adora wasn’t going to make damn sure she was there to hold her. even if that meant jumping after her and possibly dying down there together. it just meant that much to adora for catra not to have to face the end alone... i mean, wtf dude, it's jaw-dropping in the best way ever <3

[bimboficationblues]

2024 was a mixed bag. I spent a lot of it malding about my job, but fortunately I am no longer there and have a new one (family lawyer for DV survivors). Idk if I want to keep being a lawyer long term but rn I am making more money, doing more interesting (but potentially taxing) work, and hopefully it will level out to something either tolerable or useful.

long distance with my love is still sad, and we found that polyamory did not really alleviate those pressures, but we have taken some good steps towards a different approach, starting with a monogamy trial run. I found dating around mostly unpleasant despite some exciting possibilities throughout the year - very few people seem to really know what they want and act accordingly. ultimately poly started to feel like I was chasing after an ideal, and I do believe I’d enjoy that ideal. but when the process of pursuing it is so exhausting and unfun and crazy-making it just doesn’t seem worth it. the lesbian connections I found frequently ended because the other person started acting like an avoidant abject meow meow and I simply don’t have the patience.

as far as bringing the long distance to a close, I'm not sure how that’s gonna happen - I love Chicago and I don't want to leave my people. for the first time since maybe high school I do not feel fundamentally lonely and I think that's a feeling worth taking seriously. I've been really overjoyed by my various friendships, both near and far. but I miss my gf dearly. she has my heart. I don’t feel like I’ve ever loved or been loved like this. It’s a difficult situation.

I did get to travel a lot which was nice - this year in addition to regular Washington visits, including one to Olympic National Park, I also went to Barcelona, Toronto, Montreal, Cleveland, and Philadelphia. I am visiting my love's hometown currently and while I was kind of dreading it a bit it's turned out to be overall very pleasant and comforting and nice to see where she came from. Plus I did some visits to the family in SC.

speaking of which, I am feeling generally at ease with my parents. I feel like I've been able to accept that they are limited people, but not to such a degree that it makes being around them impossible, and they have also generally gotten cooler about a lot of things. we have a lot in common and it is generally fun to spend time with them despite their foibles. being able to do drugs together also helps. my dad turned 60 this year and my mom has been having health issues, which I do think has made entropy be on my mind a lot more to a troubling degree. dunno how I’ll handle that when it becomes a more pressing consideration but I guess that’s a problem for the future.

last January I made a conscious effort to approach my passions and hobbies more intentionally by making a daily schedule that roughly looked like this:

MONDAY - fiction reading; TUESDAY - history studies; WEDNESDAY - philosophy/political theory studies/writing; THURSDAY - working on music; FRIDAY - watching movies.

I also tried to get some daily activities going on top of all these - listening to at least one full album a day, regular walks, practicing guitar, yoga. keeping to this was inconsistent - sometimes I was locked in and sometimes I'd get derailed by other priorities (spending time with the love, seeing my lovely friends, getting stoned, travel). sometimes certain activities are just easier (reading comics is always fun and also minimally demanding of my energy, social media and doomscrolling is a tempting time-sink). I might try and revise this approach in some ways - I might want to take a harder tack with how much time I want to spend on each activity - but I do think that even just being deliberate and structured about how I spend my time made my mental state significantly stronger. so that is a positive development.

artistically I've made progress on the album, but I never feel like I have enough time to dedicate to it with work and everything else. but I also think my approach of trying to write all the songs first before recording them was the wrong one. so instead I think I'm going to start trying to get what I've roughly finished into a recorded form and in the process a stronger vision of the project will emerge which will help with future songs. this will require me to learn some new skills - I've always worked with a producer before - but that's not a bad thing. my friends and I are also doing a writing workshop so that will be nice to get feedback from people I love and trust.

social media has been real bad for me this past year in a kind of emotionally masochistic way - I found myself hatereading a lot more, which is bad. I’m hoping I can adjust that this year and stop getting brain damage from pissing myself off.

part of the reason for the above is that the political situation domestically and globally is dire and basically I just see cope or rationalization everywhere which, considering the urgency and scope and existential weight of what’s happening, is really infuriating to me. I feel like after a year of some of the most depraved inhuman butchery imaginable, as the ruling class takes refuge in obvious bad faith that is “all the more odious because it is less and less likely to deceive,” and with Hitleritis running rampant through civil society, we need a sober reflection on the challenge ahead of us as socialists. I do not want the ruling class to annihilate the rest of us with them or for capital to find new, intensified, and more insidious methods of shifting crisis around. this is partly why anti-intellectual, regressive forms of Marxism have been stuck in my craw lately, because it feels like psychological palliatives masquerading as politics. I’m not sure what the move is to really turn the tides of the war we are in, but doing away with self-deceiving political impulses seems like a start.

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Anime Review, Season 2, Episode 19 review

Izutsumi arrives! And Marcille has a nightmare.

This is an interesting episode but I know my spouse and I had desperately hoped that they would re-organize things somehow. Marcille's plot in this feels painfully tacked on and unrelated to Izutsumi's introduction, and the concept of the nightmare is so good, it could have easily been expanded to be an entire episode on its own. I wish they'd done that. They could have paired Izu's intro with the ice golem story to have one all-Izutsumi episode and then one all-Marcille episode... alas.

Those are changes I would have LIKED to see, but here's some changes I didn't like:

(MAJOR MANGA AND ANIME SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!)

Trigger removed Laios' mother's only speaking line in the manga. It would have taken SO LITTLE to have someone read this single sentence, and removing it, in my opinion, has a negative impact on the story as a whole.

It SOUNDS like a generic thing when she asks Laios "When will you give us grandchildren?" But this is actually really important. Laios is afraid of being forced to make a family and participate in society. This is unusual because he's a man, most men in a historic time period of this don't really care about such things, but Laios is so afraid of it, it's a recurring nightmare!

This is also why he acted so weird seeing a loving father/baby scene in the magic paintings chapter. He hated seeing a father talk about how much they love their baby.

Laios is named after a story about murdering your children before they can hurt you. Like an Oedipus Complex supposedly means that a son wants to have sex with his mother, a Laios Complex means a man wants to kill his sons. Kui did not pick this name and then have Laios repeatedly be uncomfortable with children, marriage and fatherhood for no reason.

Obviously Trigger didn't make any of these connections and so they didn't think it was necessary for Laios' mom to speak this line out loud, but I vehemently disagree.

This is similar to my beef with them removing Yarn Floke's only dialog in the story and removing her from the scene with the Island Governor. That moment told us that Mr. and Mrs. Floke were equal partners, and now anime watchers assume she's just his wife who doesn't do anything. That sucks.

The addition of paintings of Marcille's father in the nightmare. Woof. I really don't care for this, if they wanted to do it i would have preferred it if they'd obscured the paintings somehow so it wasn't obvious that Marcille's father wasn't an elf.

I think this makes the later reveal of her half-elf status WAY less surprising.

Also, in the manga, the complete silence around her father created a strong subtext that Marcille's mother was her only parent that mattered. They could still accomplish this but I think it won't be as shocking.

People reading the manga probably thought "her dad was an elf and he died young and that traumatized her" (this is what Laios assumes I'm sure)

People watching the anime will think "her dad was a tall-man and his natural death of old age is what traumatized her" which is true, but they aren't supposed to actually know that yet...

Overall the episode was good aside from these issues. I liked that the nightmare sequence was in black and white, and the transition to color at the end was spectacular and very impactful... But part of me wishes they had done something else to differentiate the nightmare state from the normal animation. The black and white was good, but almost too subtle because the DM palette is already so desaturated.

[yvesdot]

i noticed your tags on the poll abt how you feel when people ask your pronouns, abt how it clearly skews tme because the answer afraid isn't on there. i want to ask, coming from a place of just wanting to learn, is there an alternative to asking for people's pronouns? i know it can be scary, i've nearly had a panic attack hwvaise i didn't know if i wanted to out myself, and i'm tme, but on the other hand i don't want to assume people's pronouns and i don't want to misgender them. is there some kind of middle ground here?

Thanks for asking!

Disclaimer I am not a trans woman so this is an extremely "correct me if I'm wrong" "based on my many, many, many experiences with the trans women in my life" "proofread by a trans woman close to me" answer.

Disclaimer the second that I do believe in asking people's pronouns in a general sense (I always ask when I get a new coworker, for example, generally with the addition of my pronouns). This does not nullify the concerns below.

The simple answer is that asking "what are your pronouns?" is both a question and a statement. It is not only asking for someone's pronouns, but saying "I feel confident that this information will be useful," which itself says 1) "I am going to be referring to you" 2) "I think my first guess about your gender may be wrong" which itself in many cases is someone's way of saying "I think you are transgender."

This statement does not thrill all trans people.

Many trans women are just trying to pass or be 'stealth' or simply be treated uncomplicatedly as a woman, without an asterisk tacked on, just a woman, outside. Trans women in particular face persistent degendering, and 'they' can be a way to communicate "I do not see this woman as a woman, but because she is a transsexual freak I also do not see her as a man, I see her as something outside of/beyond/beneath gender." See also the obsession with transfeminine characters in media being ~weird unknowable gender goals~ no matter how traditionally femininely they present, generally due solely to sex assignment and/or physical traits they have no control over.

Before I had managed any kind of physical transition, when I looked like a low-resolution cisgender girl, I would go out with a trans woman friend of mine: me in what might as well have been a garbage bag, and her in a full face of makeup and long hair with bangs and a long skirt and earrings and painted nails and, frankly, visible breasts. And she would get referred to as 'they' and I would not. I was always shocked at this-- she couldn't possibly have been clearer about what she was going for, and yet people deliberately refused to address her femininity or womanhood. Why? Because they could tell she was trans. There was not one single way in which I ever looked more feminine than her, and certainly never intentionally. She just 'looked trans', or 'sounded trans', or whatever, so she did not get to be a woman today. This is not a rare experience.

It's important to note that this was intentional, and that the people who do this are not doing it accidentally. This may be happening subconsciously, but the process is thus: "This person is giving me extraordinarily strong signals of intentional femininity" -> "but wait! I spot an Adam's apple/a flat chest/a deep voice/Something Transgender!" -> "Intentional feminine presentation + random consequences of birth = averages out into androgyny!!"

I can't stress this enough: it doesn't matter if this process isn't conscious. Trans women are not stupid. If she has never been 'they'd or 'what are your pronouns'd before putting on her Girlwear Extreme Mode, and suddenly everyone is curious, it is obvious this is not happening because the people in question ask literally everyone. (I have never met anyone who asked everyone their pronouns, and I suspect that anyone claiming they ask everyone-- that they never go 'ah this is a cis man' and drop the case-- is lying.)

As I have heard it told, it feels incredibly invalidating to put every possible effort into femininity and then achieve, at best, a "wow you definitely look like you're transgender!," at middle a "wow you definitely are not passing!," and at worst a "wow you sure look like a circus freak!!" Whereas cisgender women demonstrably are, for the most part, she/her'd by default-- including by those who claim they ask everyone their pronouns. So what is the difference between a cisgender woman in five pounds of makeup and a transgender woman in the same makeup, the same hair, the same jewelry, the same clothes? If you would default to not asking a cis woman her pronouns, why do you not default to the same when the woman in question is trans?

Obviously, many TME people also dress conventionally femininely. Many transfeminine nonbinary people using exclusively 'they' dress conventionally femininely! It must be repeated that I dressed conventionally femininely at the time-- I wore, and still wear, nearly exclusively skirts and dresses and pink and silliness from the women's section-- and I was rarely-to-never 'they'd or asked my pronouns outside of pronoun circles until I physically changed my body. I have a lot of complicated thoughts on this, but again, this is specifically about the circumstance in which, if you deemed this person to be a cisgender woman, you would not ask. We must acknowledge that some women's genders are assumed. Ask yourself: if not for the [insert testosterone-linked quality here], would I be confused about this person's gender?

Rule of thumb: if someone is giving you every possible signal of intentional, active, effortful femininity, and you think she is not a cisgender woman, consider why someone who is not a cisgender woman would be putting in effort to look feminine. Read between the pearls.

(Note: this is not a directive never to ask a pronoun of someone in this circumstance, just to Consider. Consider with your Mind. Accept you may yet be Wrong, and this is OK, even if you do hurt someone. Just Consider.)

The other matter at hand is the "I think you are transgender" beacon. For many transgender women, being told "I think you are transgender" by a stranger in public is tantamount to a threat. This is information that can call a mob, get you fired, get you killed-- and get the murderer off scot free! I'm not saying never do the transgender nod, I'm saying be thoughtful about it.

A coworker recently asked me genuinely why I don't list my pronouns in my work emails. I was pleased someone considered that I had good reason, and said: because it is not relevant. If I am emailing a customer to ask you to please drop off Item X, does it matter whether I am a woman or a man? If a customer is emailing me to ask my rates, do they require more than my name? If they call a coworker and need to refer to me while not knowing my gender... can they not merely use 'they' as a signifier of person of unknown gender-- which is what I ultimately want, anyhow? The amount of times I have fielded calls for other coworkers that open with "I'm looking for Sam-- and is Sam a man or a woman, anyway?" is truly bizarre. Why you could possibly require this information to request that we buy your product is beyond my comprehension. Let me finish my sentence, if you must know, and sooner or later surely a pronoun will be dropped.

In specific, I find that people tend to drop the pronouns question when it is completely irrelevant. If I am checking out at your register, you do not need to know my pronouns. I am not your friend. We are engaged in a transaction, during and after which you need not refer to me, and if you are uncertain, yes, feel free to use 'they', and act as though you would use it for anyone. It is not relevant what my gender is to-- well, to anything, but especially this minute interaction.

If you are checking out at my register, for God's sake, I am at work. I am already doing labor and I take no interest in additionally moderating your discomfort with the fact that you don't know a stranger's gender. You know I'm transgender? Me too! You need not refer to me, ever, because I am at my job and you ought to go home and think no more of me. I am not a man or a woman right now, I am the person selling you poisoned apples. Please leave.

(Sidebar: cisgender men love to do this and then hit me with the hysteria accusations. e.g. "Thanks, man! I mean, uh, miss? [demanding] What is it? [frustratedly] Whatever, I'm just trying to figure out how to refer to you... Sorry!" It's a really excellent cocktail that makes it very clear they are certain I am a transgender woman. They are wrong, but it is revealing of how they treat transgender women.)

Especially because I am a visibly gender non-conforming person-- I hear this daily. I hear it multiple times a day, frequently. I live in a leftist Californian enclave and this is the bread and butter of the lefty cisgender individual.

If we are in a context where it would be polite to assume that we may meet again or become friends-- the club, a house party, what-have-you-- it is once again polite to ask, because communicating "I suspect I'll have to refer to you again" is no longer rude. It's only in a context where the information does not matter except to clarify my gender (to sate your personal curiosity?) that I occasionally get annoyed, because it isn't my responsibility to elucidate my gender for you. If you're a man, it's not even my responsibility to know that you exist.

Rule of thumb: if you are never going to meet this person again, and if you thought they were cisgender you would not ask, and if their gender is wholly irrelevant, refrain from asking.

Also, thanks very much to you for asking this question, for being open to listening, and for trusting me! I like talking and I like talking about gender (see: mention of coworker asking why I didn't list my pronouns which didn't remotely annoy me). I occupy the particular space of being someone who is constantly, loudly, explicitly being gendered, and it can occasionally be a chore. I love being transgender and visibly gender non-conforming and I wouldn't change it for the world; I just wish it was socially acceptable for me to say "my gender is not relevant to our non-relationship and it is rude of you to ask me for this information, especially if you do so in a patronizing manner that expects me to be grateful for the attention." I wish it weren't my job to mediate the response. You can ask me anything! You just have to be prepared to take no for an answer, you know?

Again, I'm one visibly gender non-conforming nonbinary person, and I used to be that TME person who would have given their full set of teeth to get a single "what are your pronouns?" in a month, and I know a variety of trans people, including many transfeminine nonbinary people who use 'they' and may present in an assortment of ways. To be abundantly clear, I am not saying fear or insult is the rule for trans women or transfeminine people; it's just not always desired to have someone ask your gender in public, and I wish we could be more tactful as a community about it. I loved the validation of being asked my pronouns when I first came out, but my validation is not more important than the safety and health of my trans sisters, who are constantly surveilled, degendered, and mocked. Read this quote from Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones.

There is no way to avoid misgendering anyone ever, there is no way to avoid hurting anyone ever, and most importantly, we must make decisions based on the material reality in which we live where trans women get the short end of every stick. When I sent this to my beloved friend who proofread it, she came up with this excellent article which frankly could serve as a replacement to this entire post. It's conflicting access needs: there is no one true answer.

Which is good news for you, because you did the only objectively kind and correct thing one can do: you asked a question, started a discussion, and listened. Thank you🌿

[cheezeybread]

Back to our regularly scheduled Alice-asking with Anon McGee.

After playing the game for a few hours and getting through some stuff, I have some thoughts. None in particular for any sort of request [although, at the time of writing this specific part, I am unsure of if I'll tack one onto the beginning of this ask [I did not]. I am also unsure of if it will be related at all], but they're still interesting and maybe can be used for this stuff going forward [for as long as I keep requesting such self indulgent things].

1. Teeth are a currency. Not a whole lot to do with that one, but it is incredibly strange to me even still.

2. Many of the enemies are made visibly of this black, ink-like ooze. Not all of them, but a good majority of them. I feel this means overblots may cause additional layers of stress because of the implications it might cause [something to do with the fact that this inky substance was what corrupted Alice's wonderland, it sounds like it COULD be taken as a physical representation of that same kind of corruption, and the overblotter going literally insane. Could be good oneshot fuel?]

3. Alice is actually SUPER chill in the environment of the wonderland aside from when it's actively trying to kill her [although the reaction does not necessarily have to apply to the reader character we've been using as a stressball for these scenarios, I think it's pretty interesting and likely means that the initial reaction to the students of Heartslaybyul would be void should I have known prior to this that wonderland was actually pretty alright and fine for the most part]

4. Another minor detail that doesn't really mean a lot, but in the Hatter's domain, there's flamingos all over the place. While I was exploring, I saw several just sort of Around. In cages, hung up on walls, some- upon entry- were on those like.. Spitroasters or whatever they are. Many were on wheels being forced to run to give power to some machinery. They all looked pretty... Not alive, though. Also, they were strangely dodo shaped, but that's neither here nor there.

That's all I have for the moment regarding that! Feel free to take it and run however you want, I can't think of any specific request I can give relating to any of these except for the overblot one

Dang, this game sounds absolutely vicious, I love it XD

I need to take your mind and put it in a little glass jar filled with water to observe it (meant in a positive way). Maybe shake it around some to see what kinda scenarios pop out.

But the best I can come up with are some *. * ·imagines*. * · to keep your brain occupied for now

Imagine an MC who- in every single fight they get dragged into (which is an awful lot in the game lmao)- stays behind for a moment to collect some of the teeth punched out by spells and fists. The broken ones that are cracked aren't worth much, they say to their friends who ask what they're doing, but the whole teeth can buy you a lot of good things. Much to the horror of the Twisted Wonderland students, it's eventually realized that MC thinks that teeth are a currency here. They don't know why, but can only speculate that it's from the same issues from before... Riddle eventually ends up begging (or as close to begging as he can get-) for Azul to tell you about Twisted Wonderland's currency. Horrified yet intrigued by your grotesque idea of money, Azul teaches you about merfolk economics, as well as the thaumarks people use on land...of course, he's going to try and get you to explain the whole "teeth currency" thing to him, and what makes one tooth worth more than others.

The inky enemies would actually make for a KILLER oneshot, I might have to write something along the lines of it one day... Maybe Twisted Wonderland (or at least, the part that held the Queen of Hearts in it) and Alice's Wonderland are two sides of the same coin...? While they're both in different dimensions (maybe even parallel to one another!), they're both similar. The main difference was that Alice's Wonderland is isolated from the rest of the world, while "Twisted Wonderland" had different cultures and societies to expand with? The isolation caused some in Alice's Wonderland to "Overblot" (or, at least, some form of it) and become enemy bosses. So maybe Overblots are slightly different in each world, but they're still present!

Imagine an MC who (after having a few breakdowns at first regarding Heartslabyul) eventually calms down...to the point where everyone gets extremely worried about them. Riddle accidentally says "Off with your head!" to an unruly student within their earshot, but MC is so chill that they look...almost zoned out, their eyes glazed over. Like they're in a completely different world. As the overblots go on throughout their stay in Twisted Wonderland, MC's calm demeanor only gets worse. They don't seem to react hardly at all to- well, anything. It's like they've just accepted where they are and the danger they're in.

Mmm short and squat dodo-like flamingos. I like to think that our poor MC, after first seeing the flamingos in Heartslabyul, didn't actually see them, but saw their not-quite-alive bodies wandering around, some being roasted over a fire, others lurking ominously behind bushes, some in cages. All some form of injured or deadish. It would most definitely take a while until MC could see the creatures as they truly were (that is, alive and well, and most definitely not so creepy), but until then, they take it in stride. No one even knows how MC sees the flamingos until they offhandedly mention it one day, and Cater's just like "....no?? Why would we be roasting flamingos???"

[cleolinda]

Silent Hill 2 commentary: Eastern South Vale & jukebox puzzle (1)

PREVIOUSLY ON: Out on the town. NG+ clues for getting other endings, highly symbolic scissors, James' amnesia, the sun mural & the Lady of the Light, lots to explore. Afterwards: corrections & additions.

Spoiler policy: Just about anything but That One Big Thing near the end of the game, particularly information about characters, their motives, and their dynamics. The game's eight endings may also be discussed. Content notes are below the cut.

Content notes: In this video, there's a lot of acid vomit and blood in combat, including the body horror of the "lying figures" (description written for the 1:06:00 mark), and at one point I discuss the idea of violence against monsters with sexualized/feminine features (this is purposefully part of the story, IMO). There's some oversized insects now and then (also blood). In terms of themes, I discuss suicidal ideation, alcoholism, drug addiction, terminal illness, infidelity, infertility—most of this is very subtle, and this is not one of the Huge Trigger Warnings videos.

I'll say up front, I roped @idoherty451 into doing his own commentary alongside mine. Ian's both a musician and a longtime Silent Hill fan, so he's specializing in music theory/storytelling and the context of the other Silent Hill games/lore. We refer to our email discussions a lot, I'm usually in his Twitch chat, and we've decided I'm just gonna straight-up be like "Iaaaaaan what is this?!" while I'm recording, as necessary. Our commentaries are sometimes kind of a conversation back and forth, and I like that. So this is the "Ian" I'm referring to throughout. (First stream; second stream.)

00:00: First: while I was reviewing the video to write this up, I realized that I misspoke about the Lilith graffiti in the first video (and then came up with a different interpretation). At the time, I had only posted the first video for Patreon, and I ended up tacking on a "corrections" edit before I made it public. So this is referring to the version that's currently up to watch. 

Second, I mention wanting to record a sidebar about liminality, which I have not yet done as of this writing. 

Third order of business: playing the game. 

03:05: Picking up at the save point in Neely's Bar. We reread the note from the end of the first video: a man who is sort of a dream-logic reflection of James broke the bar's jukebox. The record store and an apartment complex are mentioned, implying that we'll need to go to both places to find what we need to repair the jukebox and the half a broken record left behind. 

04:40: I cheerfully have a "radical acceptance of what a disaster I am" as I struggle with the interface.

In the previous commentary, I linked to a video by thegamingmuse about the "There was a hole here. It's gone now" graffiti," and I mention it at this point. 

Did not mention: To be honest, I have since come up with an interpretation that I like better—not that multiple interpretations can't live in harmony—and that I think fits what we actually see onscreen. The short version is, there are mostly two kinds of holes in the game, and we'll see one of them later in this video: ridiculously deep wall holes that James has to stick his arm into, in order to fish out some quest item. (There's at least, I don't know, 4-5 of these throughout the game.) In the second half of the game, we'll also see multiple Alice in Wonderland-inspired holes he has to jump down in order to progress. James is visibly disgusted by the former and frightened of the latter. But he has to venture into and through these holes in order to find the answers he wants. He can't learn the truth without going into the dark. And it will turn out to be, after all, a very dark truth. (Not spoiling it.) But here in Neely's Bar, James can't remember things—to the point where he needs a jukebox to recall even a brief, pleasant memory about his wife. There was a hole here (memories, however dark, available in James' mind), but it's gone now. Imagine needing the dark to get enlightenment, and that's kind of the idea. So I think this is a fairly solid but also simpler interpretation, and sometimes simpler might be stronger.

For the record, Ian subsequently found (I nearly said "dug up") the original game materials' comment on holes as a motif, and it is, "the abyss which has opened up in [James'] heart" and "diving into his own subconscious" to accept his own wrongdoing. 

05:00: Recapping the unseen janitor character as kind of a reflection of James or his feelings, in a dream-logic way: this subplot functions as a gaming convention, basically, to give us puzzle clues and guidance. We'll be looking for a missing jukebox button and the second half of a broken record, then fix the jukebox, and that's our quest for the South Vale level. 

06:00: The theme of the puzzle: "Music will bring you back." James doesn't remember what he doesn't remember; music from the jukebox will help him remember time he spent with his wife and direct us to a future destination. Did not mention: There's actually scientific research to this effect, such as:

Why music causes memories to flood back (Washington Post)

Why does music bring back memories? What the science says (Durham University)

08:00: Leaving the bar for our next location: the Happy Burger. Outside, there's a newspaper box with the headline "Wood Side Apartments Severely Flooded," foreshadowing the next level; a pet care flier that alludes to the Pet Center and the "Goodest Boi" joke ending; and a Drug Hotline poster referencing a drug epidemic related to the cult that runs the town (see 39:00 or Ian's second stream).

I also talk about recognizing different types of monsters by the noises they make (we hear various squelching sounds the entire time I'm talking out here). You'll see this in the third video coming up, where I react to sounds in dark spaces before I actually get jumped. 

10:50: Inside the Happy Burger, where a lying figure is on the floor playing dead. I talk about the lack of health indicators being immersive—we don't get health bars in real life. Instead, James' magical jacket gets a bit bloody around the shoulders, he staggers around, and there's a red vignette around the edges of the screen; these visuals intensifying, plus a medical plus sign in the lower right corner, are the only way you can tell how badly James might be doing. Did not mention: your controller (or gaming mouse, if applicable) changing colors will also indicate your health level, but I'm on a PC with a very plain external mouse. (I think controllers may also vibrate when the radio goes off?) All of this is customizable in the extensive settings—you can turn off the vignette if you want, and just rely on damage to James' magical healing jacket and the plus sign.  

12:45: "I have a new theory": the Happy Burger has imagery indicating Maria (the Sexy Wife Doppelgänger we haven't met yet; see previous commentary), including a Happy Burger flier that reads, "Feel the craving?" and "What you need is what you get!" Which I think indicates temptation and instant gratification for a man who was frustrated during his wife's three-year illness. There's also a "Queen's Special" poster on the wall (but a clock with Mary's time of death as well). 

Did not mention: I know I keep talking about Maria when we haven't even seen or heard of her yet—and we won't for a few hours more!—but I think talking about her well in advance actually makes space for the ideas that she'll emerge from, so that when she finally shows up as a manifestation from James' subconscious, it'll feel like she's materializing a little bit from our minds as well. 

14:38: Battling two lying figures amid copious acid vomit. I have not yet warmed up for the day. In the audio I posted back in January from my first run, you can hear my attempts to lure the lying figures to better areas, which I didn't try to do this time because I was too busy running my mouth. 

16:16: Discussion of James' magical healing jacket, which Bloober Team painstakingly obtained in real life and scrunched into a microphone for the perfect fabric sound effect.

18:45: Doing better outside with a lying figure. My dog Cooper shows up, upset—you can't see or hear him, but you hear me talking to him at various points from here on. "You will notice that I talk to James a little bit the way I talk to my dog." As I say a minute later, I realized that I don't call James "honey" the way his wife does; I call him "honey" the way I call my dog that. 

Did not mention: The columned building is the post office, which I wasn't sure about at the time. 

20:00: I stumble across something I had really wanted to find: a Dead James slumped against a semi-truck with two documents (written in blood?). Discussion of time loop theory: I like the idea that James has been living this search for Mary over and over, with both the collectible Glimpses of the Past and various corpses that look like James throughout town supporting this. There are at least two other explanations for those bodies, but that's the one I like. 

But the reason I had wanted to find this James is to pick up a "Code Note" that describes trying to brute-force guess a four-digit code at Grand Market. I already knew the code from watching and playing the game previously, but for the commentary, I'd wanted to come by that information honestly. 

We also pick up a "Sanders Street Note" (written in blood?) that says, "You will see. Sooner or later, you will see." Did not mention: In Ian's second stream, he pointed out that the smear on the back is Pyramid Head-shaped. 

I mention that you often pick up notes/items at a price: some monster immediately attacking you. This time it's a slithering lying figure that rears up like a dolphin and headbutts James in the knee. 

23:13: I had pointed out in the first video that the game tells you that white cloth marks "items and traversals you can interact with," and then it puts "white cloth" all over the rest of the game as well. Here's an example of that: giant white-cloth barriers blocking off various streets in town. 

25:15: I couldn't remember what "Magical Envelopes" referred to. Ian answered this on his second stream: it refers to the way James received a letter from his late wife, who could not have possibly mailed something to him 1) without an address on it 2) while being dead.  

25:50: Neely Street is named after pulp author Richard Neely, per Lost Memories: Silent Hill Chronicle.

Did not mention: I wondered why we have "black smoke-fog right there," lying low on the street. I think it mostly relates to the way that the lying figures' acid vomit dissipates into black steam. 

26:45: Let's stop in front of the Dance Company. James kind of has a thing for legs, which you see in the creature designs. Like, I don't have a source for this, but we all just seem to take the idea on faith, because it's a pretty solid hypothesis. Regarding the Dance Company, the mannequins (which you'll see in the third video) have ballet-reminiscent wrappings on their feet.

In the "Leave" ending, James will admit that he had wanted to "move on with [his] life" during Mary's illness—an idea that shows up in this poster about dance lessons that will pair up singles: "No partner? No problem."

In his second stream, Ian asked if the inset photo, which shows a couple dancing, might be using the James and Maria models.⁠ Here it is, enlarged and brightened:

I don't think these two are actually James and Maria, but I think the woman being blonde (as opposed to Mary's brunette) is meant to evoke Maria the Sexy Wife Replacement, yes. 

28:00: Silent Hill Fresh Meats, the butcher. Here's the first collectible Strange Photo, which I am 99% sure shows a room we will see at the end of the third video, in a Wood Side apartment (which I believe is either a partial or full manifestation of a place that James and Mary lived). See comparison below: 

All images are ©2024 Konami Digital Entertainment, and captured from my gameplay in January-March 2025.

I kept forgetting the name of the redditor who solved the Strange Photos—it's u/DaleRobinson, and I have videos on my research playlist running through how this worked, as confirmed by Bloober Team. On the front, the picture seems to have four (4) sort-of film burn holes; the photo's caption is, "I've been happy." What DaleRobinson figured out is, you count the number of something on each picture, and you count to that letter in the caption: "I've B." On the back of this one, you see the number 6. There will be 26 photos total to collect, and you'll see them in numerical order in your inventory. Using this process to count which letter in each caption to use, DaleRobinson came up with the sentence, 

"YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR TWO DECADES." 

The letter B is sixth in that sentence. 

Later in this commentary (but I'll go ahead and write it up now), I gradually fumble towards the realization that the town may currently be frozen in the mid-80s, based on a pharmacy receipt dated 1982 and a calendar dated 1983. I had always assumed the story took place in 2001 (the release year of the original SH2) and James was wandering through a ghost town that had "died" and been abandoned decades before—but, as I say later in this video, the model and condition of James' car would make more sense in the '80s.

So what does "two decades" mean? 

1) Some people believe it means that "you," the fans, have been playing this game for two decades (from the first game in 2001 to the remake in 2024), and it's a way to recognize the fans' loyalty. 

2) Some people (including me) like the time loop theory (which has been a fan theory since the original game), in which case "two decades" would mean that James has been repeating the events of the game over and over for some 20 years... every time we play it. 

At which point: what's the time frame of those two decades? 

At first, I assumed James had arrived in this abandoned ghost town in 2001, and therefore he would have been looping this (roughly) 24-hour period from then until 2024, when the remake was released. Because the town isn't just abandoned; it's dilapidated and decayed. However, you could say that James arrived there in 1985ish, and the town froze in 1982-83ish and somehow rotted and decayed this quickly because this version of it is projected from James' subconscious, and "rot" symbolizes his wife's death, or even the breakdown of their marriage. (See the discussion of the "While I am decaying like a rotten thing" graffiti in the first commentary video/post.) At which point, James has been looping this experience over the course of the second half of the '80s and the full 1990s ("two decades") until the original players picked up the game in 2001. And maybe Silent Hill has just been revising the surroundings all that time to keep things interesting (especially since some of the Dead Jameses leave notes with helpful hints, which suggest they've realized they're not the first James and they won't be the last). And this is why James keeps finding Glimpses of the Past—things Silent Hill has moved or changed for him over the years, and that feel vaguely familiar to him.

I personally think the phrasing is "two decades" rather than "twenty years" so that it can fit both meanings—both James and the fans have been here. (Well, not me. I've only been here 4-5 months. And that's why I prefer time loop theory, heh.)

Let's end this first post here; we'll pick up with another Strange Photo and Your New Best Friend.

(SH2R commentary master post)

[thelongestway]

Well, there had to be a moment somewhere in a story that turned out to be fucking novel-length where I had to go back and redo an entire chapter because it wasn't working. (Twice, actually. I tried my initial idea, that didn't work, tried to change tacks completely to get around the problem (you saw that attempt); it didn't work either, so I had to go back to my original try and put more work into it to make it work. Yeah. It was as bad as it sounds.)

Still no guarantee that this has worked, but I'll see when I try to continue later today. (Not sure if in the same chapter or in a different one).

And of course, this was a chapter that I thought I had all figured out and it would be really fucking easy before I actually tried it. Such is the writing life!

Chapter 23: Observation

I walked back out onto the station, tapping into Aspen's feed to let them know I was embarking. They returned the handshake and let me link in, but otherwise ignored me, focusing entirely on their job. I could see their little tendrils, darting there and back, fixing some sort of process or checking up on a person, but there weren't many around. Tendrils, I mean, not people. Because the celebration was still going strong, and there were plenty of humans in Aspen's halls, some working, some relaxed. (My humans were back on their respective ships, at least. It was getting late in the station day-night cycle.)

I stopped at the exit to the docks. Normally, this was where I sent Aspen some kind of itinerary, but this time I didn't have one. Would they even let me on board if I didn't tell them exactly where I was planning to go and why? I wouldn't if I were them.

I'm not you, their voice said into my ear. You are free to come aboard.

Threat assessment spiked 12,5 percent as I frantically checked my channels. But no. We weren't connected beyond the fucking handshake. There was no way they could have--.

Or maybe they could. Whatever Dandelion said, they were half-brain-eating-zombie-AI.

What the fuck? Are you reading my fucking thoughts?

They laughed.

I don't need to read your thoughts to know what you're thinking. You're very loud.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

Fuck you.

For someone who can't even stand to look at a naked body, you do seem to offer that a lot. But no. You're not my type.

That fucking station.

Aspen continued: It's utterly fascinating to watch how your nudity taboo plays out in the expletives you use. There are so many diverse systems of profanity, but you nearly always choose words connected to bodily functions--specifically, reproduction and defecation, two messy and vulnerable things humans like to kept private.

That's just how humans use expletives. Shut up.

Bullshit, they said, and even though I couldn't see any tendrils hanging on me, I could hear that fucking knife of a grin. By which I mean, did you forget that you gave Iceblink your entire media archive? The corpus you have available to you is so much broader than what you're actually using, even if it did lose 'bullshit' somewhere along the way. You're welcome for the addition to your collection, by the way. Gives you an alternative for when you want to accuse someone of lying.

My organic parts crawled.

Are you going to keep this up the entire time I'm on the station?

That depends. Are you going to keep telling me I'm not doing my job?

I wasn't planning on talking to you at all, I said.

Good, they replied venomously. Do that, and I won't talk to you, either.

The dock exit slid open, even though I'd stopped half a meter away from the sensors.

That fu--. That a--. That--.

Okay. Whatever sympathy I had was gone. I officially hated that sunbleached, fauna-riddled forest of a miserable station. (And I hated that I heard them chuckle when I thought that. I really wasn't convinced they weren't reading my mind at this point.)

But I marched inside, anyway. Because there was no way that--HubSystem could pressure me into fucking hiding on board ART just by watching me. I could take being watched. I was better at being watched than Aspen could fucking imagine.

Aside from the completely private, feed-blind areas such as personal quarters, Aspen probably had the fewest camera and microphones in their recreational areas, so I went up to their topside gardens. I found a spot as far away from any camera or speaker placement that I could see, sat down on the grass and watched.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Just humans and genetically augmented humans mingling, most of them unfamiliar. (The one exception was Haze, who was sitting in a circle on the ground with seven other genetically augmented humans. They waved at me, and I circled a drone around them before moving it away. Haze laughed, and grabbed the smallest human in the circle by hand, pointing at my drone and talking to them excitedly.)

This wasn't helping, so I tapped Thiago's feed.

What exactly am I looking for?

Nothing specific right now, he answered readily. The point is to see what patterns emerge from what you see around you. Just record anything that catches your attention. Try not to make it a log or video dump, if you can--edit it as you go, be concrete about what you found interesting, exactly.

Okay, so Haze. Fine. I knew Haze, at least, so I had a lot of data for comparison.

Except the data was fucking useless, because Haze behaved almost exactly the same on the station as they did on board Dandelion. They weren't any more tense, or weirded out by Aspen's creepy analytics

(Wait, did Haze know the analytics were even there? They were an engineer, so they had to. But in any case, they didn't seem bothered by the idea.)

They did seem happy, but Haze was usually pretty cheerful. The rest of the augmented humans were kind of the same, actually. Their group reminded me of Preservation humans when they were engaged in recreational activities, but with a different adult-to-child ratio than Preservation groups normally had. (Four out of eight were full adults, two were juveniles, and two were children. It was weirdly symmetrical. And the age gap between the adults and the juveniles looked exactly the same as between the juveniles and the children, which didn't usually happen.)

Were they some kind of weird family unit? I wished I had a proper database to match them against, and to get their actual ages.

You're looking at a set, Aspen said. That's a Hylaran type of family unit. The ideal size is eight, but the uptake of new members is normally in batches of two, not six as it used to be historically.

Threat assessment spiked again. I hadn't actually sent that as a HubSystem query, had I?

I hadn't. They were in my fucking head again.

Why are the fuck are you talking to me right now?

Because watching you trying to figure out familial structures is just painful. And, as I said, you're incredibly loud by default, much louder than any human. I have to make an active effort to filter out you reaching for me.

Bullshit! I didn't send you any queries!

Who said anything about queries, SecUnit? I said you reached for me. Directed your attention at me. It wasn't difficult to figure out what you were wondering about.

That took me an entire two seconds to process.

Wait--you could do that this whole time?

If you mean, register your attention being directed at me--yes. I just did my best to ignore it when it wasn't a conscious request. But I am done being courteous to you while you try to make me into a rootrotting surveillance platform. If you want me not to overhear you, you're going to have to actually try and be quiet.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap.

Back to your standard profanity, I see. I don't actually know which word you're repeating, but most single-syllable expletives that fit the circumstances we find ourselves in are bodily-function related.

ART, I said on our private channel. (Was it private? I had no fucking idea anymore.) Are they fucking hacking me?

(I didn't think they were. But maybe they were just better at hiding. They couldn't be better than ART, though, ART chewed through a quarter of their fucking firewall in seconds.)

They're not, ART said, tense and angry. According to my analysis, this is just what they're getting from background data.

The fucking number of syllables in the swear words I'm thinking?

That's probably just statistics. You do have a limited profanity corpus.

Fuck you, ART, I said with the satisfaction of knowing it would not fucking twist this into being a sex thing.

If you want to continue with your survey, then I will keep watch, ART said. And the moment Aspen tries to hack you, I will make sure they have something else to worry about.

My threat assessment for that was distinctly low. (Even though I was glad to have ART with me anyway.) But Aspen didn't even hack the hostiles, so they weren't likely to really hack me just because I pissed them off. I was probably safe.

Just being observed. And commented on.

I could deal with that.

[fuck-customers]

This is kind of an overly specific but also vague one at the same time but idk what to do abt it lol so I figure I'd ask here if it's even illegal before escalating or contacting OSHA or whatever place I'm supposed to for this.

Okay so background my store is a big chain, and they got in trouble a few years back for how they did "on call" shifts. They'd have ppl scheduled for "on call" or "call in" which meant u call before heading in to see if they need u or not. If yes u go in and work the shift, if not u just don't work that day, no pay or anything.

They switched to a slightly different way for it now, where they tack on the "call in" hours at the end of a shift instead of it being the whole shift. So u don't know until partway thru ur shift whether it's a 6hr shift or an 8hr shift. They'll come up and be like "we're keeping ur extension today" or "we're not keeping ur extension today".

Idk if it's still illegal cause it's 1)partial shifts r affected rather than the entire shift and 2)they inform u at work rather than u clearing ur day and calling before even heading in and 3)they do adjust relevent breaks based on whether ur extension is kept or not (6hr u get a 15, 8hr u get an additional 30)

Is this illegal? I don't want to try to report it and end up wasting OSHAs time or worse getting fired

I'm honestly not sure. It doesn't sound right but I would suggest you call your local labor board and ask them if that's legal.

-Rodney

[little-annie]

Watching You Fall in Love (is My Greatest Achievement)

Steddie Fic | Wayne POV | Little_Annie | Ao3

---

"You love him don't you?" Wayne whispers, breathy, quiet, his voice cracking around the edges of something that feels like raw emotion.

It's then that Eddie turns his gaze away from Steve to look at him, the light never fading from his eyes and the smile never wiping from his face.

Steve's sitting on the trailer floor, in the middle of the living room, Eddie's clothes hanging from his body as he flips through one of Eddie's many monster manuals. Wayne knows the boy would never admit it, but he's just as interested in D&D as the other kids. He's helping Eddie plan his next campaign for christ sake.

Next to Wayne, two cans of coke in hand and a love struck smile on his face, Eddie nods, his cheeks darkening as his smile ever so slightly fades. "Is that okay?" He asks, looking all the bit nervous as his eyes roam Wayne's face.

"More than okay Son."

Eddie's smile brightens once again and if Wayne notices the small amount of tears welling in his eyes, he says nothing about.

"You ever going to tell him?" Wayne continues, nodding in Steve's direction, the boy still oblivious to the conversation being whispered behind his back.

"I don't know if I can."

Wayne says nothing to Eddie's reply as he watches the boy return to the living room where he sits down next to his best friend. Steve smiling bright as the sun upon Eddie's return.

—

Months go by and Wayne gets to watch as Steve falls too. It's there and so obvious to anyone but Eddie.

His eyes linger and his smile never fades. Soon Wayne sees as he sits a little closer and his cheeks grow a little darker.

There's moments when Wayne catches what he can only describe as a love struck expression across Steve's face. Eddie's talking, because when is he not, and Steve's there, eyes wide and locked onto Eddie's ever changing expression. 

He looks fond. Fond in a way Wayne's never seen anyone look at his nephew.

There's moments when he sees Steve hesitant. Moments when he and Eddie are so close and Steve's hand twitches like it wants to reach out. Moments when Steve looks like he wants to lean in but bites his lip and turns away with rosy cheeks.

—

It's nearly a year into their friendship when Steve's standing at Wayne's side and whispers, "I think I love him."

"Tell him," Wayne answers easily, leaving out the 'please' he so desperately wants to tack onto the end of that sentence.

Please, he thinks again as he watches Eddie turn to face them from across the yard, a smile so beautiful Wayne thinks it's the first time he's seen it on Eddie's face. The boy's elbow deep in his van as his cheeks grow a little pinker as he says with a smile, "Stevie come here for a sec."

Steve leaves, but not before whispering back to Wayne, "I think I will."

—

No more than a week later Wayne comes home to find the boys on the couch, Steve sleeping and curled into Eddie's side, snoring with his nose pressed to Eddie's neck. 

Wayne offers his boy a smile as he stirs from the sound of the door closing. He looks tired, arms tightening around Steve's waist as he smiles back and burrows closer, kissing the top of Steve's head before drifting back off. 

—

"He loves me," Eddie says one evening, weeks down the road, a rare occasion when Steve isn't over and Eddie's actually home.

Wayne smiles, his heart so warm and full as he says, "I know."

—

Steve's been over for a few weeks now. Part of Wayne's convinced he's moved in, what with the new additions to their fridge and bathroom vanity. The idea doesn't upset him in the least. 

He's gotten to witness their love grow during that time anyway.

He's gotten to witness the way Steve kisses a grumpy Eddie good morning until he finally smiles.

Or the way Eddie lights up when Steve's arms wrap around his waist and he whispers an "I love you Eds," that Wayne isn't sure if he's supposed to hear.

Or the way they giggle and kiss and love one another in such a beautiful and uninhibited way.

Granted too, sometimes that means Wayne's hears a bit too much. Eddie would be mortified to know there's been far too many occasions in which Wayne's had to leave the trailer to escape the gasping breaths that occasionally pour out from under his bedroom door.

Though this time, Wayne's inside as the boys are on the roof smoking and he thanks the lord above that all he can hear are the faintest of whispers. 

There's only parts of the conversation that he catches, but his heart swells when he hears Eddie's voice so clearly say, "I'm gonna marry you someday Steve Harrington."

—

Wayne cries the day Eddie shows him the ring. 

And cries even harder when Steve shows him his.

Steve's hand is shaking where the single golden band lies on his ring finger, Eddie standing directly behind him, arm around his waist with a smile that matches Steve's in the way it resembles Sunshine.

They can't marry, not legally anyways. But that doesn't stop Jim Hopper from officiating a ceremony or Joyce Byers from walking Steve down the aisle. 

The backyard to Hoppers cabin is filled with faces Wayne has grown familiar with over the years. Young and old, smiling and crying all the same.

Dustin and Robin both write speeches, both as rambling and as funny as they are beautifully heart wrenching.

There's not a dry eye in the house.

—

The boys move into an apartment where they build a life together.

Wayne visits often for meals or a cup of coffee in the mornings, still delighting in the way his Eddie seems so wonderfully overcome with love and affection. 

He'd thought he'd shed enough tears for his lifetime at the wedding, but one evening, sat at the table with Robin Buckley and his boys, Wayne finds out he's gonna be a grandpa. 

Elaine Birdie Munson is her name.

Sunshine, they call her instead.

---

Ao3⤵️

[cleonap]

Gauntlet at the Garden Tix

Hello everyone! I recently was able to get closer D20 tickets, so I will be selling my old ones for the original presale price, no fees involved. I'd rather not just put them back up on TicketMaster, as I want to make sure they do not get any additional fees tacked on top of them. They are Section 218, Row BS6, Seats 21 and 22 (unfortunately I do not think they are wheelchair accessible as they are seemingly stool-top seating, but it does look like there is a table in front of them if that is a plus for you). Please DM me if you're interested; if you only need one seat, I also am open to selling them one apiece!

Here's a link to what the view might look like (though I obviously don't know how Dropout is staging it beyond the central circular stage): https://aviewfrommyseat.com/venue/Madison+Square+Garden/218/BS6/

[moviewarfare]

A Review of “Squid Game Season 2 (2024)”

In 2021, Squid Game became a cultural phenomenon. I thoroughly enjoyed it and thought it was a great addition to the Battle Royale genre. The story does end on a mild cliffhanger that feels like it was tacked on because Netflix wanted to make it a franchise. Now here we are in 2024, with another season of Squid Game. Does it live up to the hype?

Despite feeling like the creator, Hwang Dong-hyuk was forced to make more seasons of Squid Game, he does not half-ass it. He does push this season in new directions and adds new elements to make the story exciting. For example, they added a new rule to the games by making it so they can vote to leave with the current money after each game. This new rule is a fun addition as it creates an exciting rift between characters who want to go and those who don't. Turning Gi-Hun from a scummy guy in Season 1 into an all-good hero sounds bad on paper. However, it adds a new layer to the games as Gi-Hun now has new challenges with his knowledge. He faces ordeals such as convincing others to stop, knowing what agendas the higher-ups intend for them and figuring out ways to escape with the others.

Of course, there are new games in season 2 and they are still very entertaining to watch. I also appreciate that the games this time aren't as focused on physical strength and more on skill. I also appreciate that there is some new world-building as well. We get to see more about what the recruiters are and how one ends up being a pink-masked guard. The set design and costumes are mostly the same as it was in season 1 but it is great that they were still able to replicate the same feel from season 1. Jung Jae-il returns as the music composer and he continues to deliver a great score.

Unfortunately, my biggest gripe with season 2 is that the contestants just aren't as likeable as those in season 1. We got to see how many contestants lives were like outside of the game and even the reasons why they were entering the games. This made us care about them and it was why it hurt when they died. This is not the case in season 2 because the only characters we spend with outside the games are Gi-Hun and the police officer, Hwang Jun-ho. We never get to spend much time with the other contestants and at times when they mention their reasons, it is usually in a small quick dialogue. The show also does a jarring thing where they introduce an interesting character that you want to know more of, only to kill them very anti-climatically. On that note, I genuinely believe that the wrong characters died in this season. These characters would have been more interesting if they were kept alive.

In terms of story, I do have some gripes. There is a subplot with one of the pink guards which ends up going absolutely nowhere in season 2. Additionally, the police storyline continues to be dull and predictable like in season 1. Furthermore, there is a loss of meaningful messages and themes. Season 1 had interesting social commentary on inequality but season 2 tosses all of that in favour of good guy vs evil corporation. The story in season 2 also feels like half the complete story with an extremely jarring ending. It feels like they split the full story into part 1 with season 2 and then part 2 with season 3.

Despite it all, I do still find season 2 entertaining to watch. While it isn't as good as season 1, I do think it is an enjoyable enough sequel. Hopefully, season 3 will be a satisfying conclusion.

For more reviews like this visit:

https://moviewarfarereviews.blogspot.com/

[hedgiwithapen]

Blue Valley metakitties?

Set in season 3 Mike and Jakeem brought the box to the Pitstop, because this was a Justice Society Issue to handle. 

"And because I don't think Buddy would like having his house over run," Mike tacked on to the explanation. Pat peeked in the box and sighed. 

"So we can overrun the pitstop instead? Mike, where did you even find this many kittens?"

Beth frowned. "Illegal dumping of feral cats in the woods has decreased 25% over the last three years, but--"

"Yeah, no, I didn't find them in the woods," Mike interrupted.

"Thunderbolt brought them to us!" Jakeem added helpfully. 

Pat took a step back. "He what?"

"He said they were highly recommended as problem solvers! I don't think they can help us solve the murder, though." Jakeem stuck his finger in the box and yelped as an orange kitten bit his finger. 

"No, I don't think... kittens.... can help with that. Look, Jakeem, why don't you just take them--"

"Awwww," Courtney peeked in the box and without waiting even for a moment scooped up a fuzzy tabby kitten. "You're so cute! Yes you are! Yes you--wow!"

The kitten wriggled out of her grip, but instead of dropping to the cement floor, she did not do that. 

"Right," said Pat. "The Thunderbolt kittens can fly. Because of course they can. Beth?"

"Sorry, Mr. Dugan. Chuck's never seen anything like this."

"I'm keeping her," Courtney said. "I'm gonna name her Sparkle." 

Mike pretended to gag. 

"I think technically she's Jakeem's," Beth pointed out. Jakeem shook his head emphatically, "No, no, keep her. My parents say I'm not responsible enough for a pet. Everyone can have one. Are you sure you don't want the orange guy? He keeps biting me."

"I'll pass," Courtney said, scooping up Sparkle again. Sparkle wiggle free again and climbed to perch on Courtney's head. "Oh, you like to be tall, huh?"

"Hey Mike?" Jakeem asked after a moment. " Weren't there more kittens?"

"Awww, shoot."

They found one of them at the Shade's house, chewing on a shrubbery. Another,  possibly the same bitey orange kitten, Yolanda managed to grab off the bridge before a car came. She scolded it gently, and it returned the favor by trying to steal her hairtie. 

 A third turned out to be Sparkle, again, who'd gotten herself stuck on the roof, and wouldn't come down, floating out of reach even when Courtney went up there on Cosmo. 

"What is this?" Cindy asked them when Jakeem and Mike turned up at her house to let her know about the Recent Additions to the Young Allstars. She pointed down. The tiniest kitten, a black fluffy thing that looked up at her with enormous eyes, sat on her shoe. It was roughly the size and shape of the pom-poms on winter hats worn by people like Beth Chapel. 

"Uh... a kitten?" Mike said. "Jakeem wished for them."

"I did not! I wished for assistance! The Thunderbolt decided that meant kittens, not me."

"I know what a kitten is, I'm not stupid," Cindy said. "Why is it on my shoe?"

Mike reached down. The kitten hissed at him and climbed up Cindy's skinny jeans. Automatically Cindy shifted her arm so it wouldn't fall and shred her. The kitten had Teeth.

"Why is it vibrating?" she asked, suddenly concerned. "Did it break?"

"I think that means she likes you," Jakeem said, beaming. 

"Yeah, she's purring. it means she feels safe."

"Why?" Cindy asked again. She pet the little kitten’s head with one finger. "If anything happens to her, I'm burning this entire town to the ground."

"Noted," Mike said.

The orange kitten wriggled out of the box again, and took off down the street, tail high.

[space-specs]

Your Guide To Voting in 2024

Yes, you may feel like everything is horrible and hopeless, and you don't want to vote. I'm here to not do that, and give you tips and info on why. Ultimately, I do not care what you actually vote only that you try to go and fill out something.

Make Sure You Are Registered to Vote

Check your registration status. This site has a drop down to select your state, which will link you to the website to check and see if you're registered.

Not registered? Go here. This site will tell you how to get registered in your state and will link you directly to the online registration if your state offers it.

Make sure you have a government issued photo ID. Driver's license, state ID, passport, etc. Many states require to you to present some form of ID to vote. Find out what counts in your state (and exceptions and provisional ballot rules) here.

Know you'll have difficulty making it to the ballot box? Check the rules for voting by mail/absentee voting in your state and see if you qualify.

Look up your sample ballot ahead of time! Lots of places provide a sample ballot which allows you to see what all the issues are ahead of time. Since this will vary by local elections, the best way to this is to look up "[your county name] sample ballot", possibly with the year tacked on to the end of the search. This may not be available until closer to election day, but it is a great way to get prepared for voting.

Other Voting Tips

This is where I get into the bit where it matters more to me that you vote than who you vote for. This is a personal principle of mine: everyone has the right to vote regardless of if I agree with what you choose to do with that vote.

You do not have to fill out every box on the ballot. You can leave some blank! Don't want to vote on President this year? Fine! Only want to vote on President and don't want to research other issues? Also fine. In fact, you can turn in a completely blank ballot if you want, and that is a political action, too. (Tip: parties note a blank box on issues because it indicates to them you were dissatisfied with your options)

You can bring notes with you! Too many issues to keep track of? Write yourself a note, print out a sample ballot and fill it out in advance to copy over, finding a voting guide and print it. As long as it is ON PAPER, you can bring it with you. (I verified this is universally allowed here)

Don't know where to start on research? The sample ballot is a great place to start just looking up candidates, but I also recommend checking out your local chapter of League of Women Voters. They put out a voters guides for each election that list pros and cons to various issues on the ballot.

The most important and most neglected elections are your local ones. Real grassroots change might be possible in your city, if you pay attention. Too overwhelmed by all this? Pick a few local issues to focus on, like the school board or city council. My city passed a trans-inclusive non-discrimination ordinance in a red state because people rallied around a handful of progressive city council members that swayed the vote. Even if everything feels hopeless, you make things better for yourself and your loved ones by actively engaging in your local politics.

Remember it's voting AND not voting OR. I know a lot of people are extremely dissatisfied with their options for this year's election, especially at the national level. Don't stop doing what you're doing. Don't stop protesting and boycotting and donating and talking about the things that matter to you. Get involved in your community. Find ways to make a difference. But also, go vote. Please.

Thank you for reading this. I hope something in here was helpful for you, and if it was, please consider reblogging this so that others can find it as well. If I've forgotten anything important, I welcome any helpful additions and will do my best to reblog those or add them to the original post as needed!