#i don't know the experience of *being* transfemme. so i listen. and i try to understand.

[wimpy-imp]

I remember many times when my grandmother would make off hand remarks about how testosterone would make me look like a joke. that it would be funny and unnatural for someone like me to have a beard.

before that i remember my mother outing me to my grandparents without my knowledge or consent. and then having to sit with both of them on different occasions for a year while they tried to tell me i was just a masculine woman. One where they thought it was okay to ask if I'd get pregnant if a potential partner "really really wanted it 🥺" (Which. sidenote. what the actual fuck??)

i remember the day after one of those conversations my mother took me into town for a "suprise" from my grandma. and they tried to make me get my ears pierced. even when i said i didn't want to. the only reason they stopped was because i had an autistic shutdown in public and they were too embarrassed to keep trying to force me into it. That happened 2 years ago. i have very real trauma from that day.

They never cared about my gender nonconformity until i came out.

They still seem to believe that I'd only be a man if i actually secretly hated myself.

[genderqueerdykes]

i need EVERY lesbian to understand that you NEED to sit down and listen to lesbians who are transfem, trans women, intersex & MtF. this is not optional: this is vital information that cannot be ignored, and if you choose to refuse to listen, you are 100% an unreliable resource of information on lesbian, sapphic & dyke identities and experiences, as you are choosing to totally misrepresent the entire lesbian community.

i don't give a shit about personal politics anymore. i don't care if you don't agree with transfems and trans women. i don't care how you view our genders & biological sexes. we cannot stifle the conversation on lesbian gender identity in this way because it's holding all of us down. we cannot single out and target transfeminine lesbians in order to try to give people a more "accurate" depiction of the lesbian experience. this conversation is mandatory. it cannot be ignored. we NEED to have these conversations whether or not the ears they're falling on are receptive.

trans women and transfems are people first and foremost and our lives matter. it doesn't matter how you view us, we are people, and that means that our lives inherently have value, and our experiences deserve to be heard and respected

the experiences that lesbians who are transfem, trans women, MtF & intersex have are legitimate lesbian experiences, the good and the bad, the euphoric and the ugly, the beautiful and the vulnerable. again it does not matter what someone else thinks about a transfeminine lesbian: it does not negate the fact that they are a lesbian. and the specifically transfeminine lesbian experience needs to be heard- transfem lesbians don't deserve to have our genders erased in order to be seen as lesbians

the euphoria and personal fulfillment lesbians, dykes, and sapphics who are transfem, trans women, intersex & MtF experience needs to be heard. the powerful bonds, friendships, relationships and connections transfeminine+ lesbians go through need to be heard. the rich history of deeply sapphic love and treatment of lesbians, womens and transfemmes needs to be heard. the tenderness, the gentleness, the strength in vulnerability in transfeminine+ lesbians needs to be heard

there have been countless stories of cis lesbians and women learning how to love and appreciate their own womanhood and lesbianism through meeting and listening to trans women, transfemmes and trans lesbians. many women feel uncomfortable being women until they meet someone who is passionate about being a woman, and loves every moment of it. many lesbians learn to love lesbianism again because they see someone who is so proud and happy to be a dyke, the euphoria in being and living what they are and love inspires many cis women and lesbians to live the same lives, with a passion for womanhood, lesbianism, femininity, and sapphism. many women and lesbians say they learned to fall in love with women all over again thanks to trans women, transfemmes, and trans lesbians.

the connection to both womanhood and masculinity that transfeminine, MtF and trans female butch lesbians feel is not invalidating to anyone else. it does not erase the fact that we are butch. MtF, transfeminine and trans female butches struggle to be seen as themselves and this deserves to be heard. it doesn't matter if someone is born MtF, they can still very well be butch. that invalidates nothing. many cis female butches pack and/or get or want phalloplasties... it's not a problem that some butches are born with dicks.

the experiences that transfeminine+ butches have with the butch identity are crucial in the conversation about butch lesbians on the whole. transfem butches are people who know who they are and want to live their lives according to our own views on womanhood, lesbianism, sapphism, and transness- no transfeminine, trans female, intersex or MtF lesbian deserves to be told they're not butch, because they're living the butch experience every day, whether or not a stranger refuses to acknowledge that.

trans femme lesbians who struggle to be seen as femmes need your support and listening ears now. trans femmes shouldn't have to over perform femininity in order for you to see them as femmes, women, lesbian, sapphics and dykes. it doesn't matter how a trans femme looks, acts or presents. listening to trans femmes talk about what the trans femme lesbian experience specifically looks like is crucial in liberating all femmes, so that we don't put any of them through unnecessary stress when it comes to their identities as lesbians. we don't need to refuse to listen to transfeminine, trans female, MtF, intersex and beyond femme lesbian experiences when talking about lesbianism on the whole.

T4T trans lesbian experiences are extremely important in this discussion, whether or not someone else wants to view it as "real" lesbianism. trans lesbians being drawn to one another, regardless of they're transfem, transmasc, transneutral, or something else, the experiences trans lesbians share with one another are an extremely important part of our community and cannot be ignored when talking about lesbianism on the whole. this encompasses an absolutely massive part of our community

silencing transfeminine, transfemale, MtF, intersex, and related lesbian experiences will not make them stop happening. transfeminine lesbians will not stop existing because you refuse to acknowledge our lesbianism. it doesn't do anyone any favors to go through hoops and perform mental gymnastics in order to invalidate these experiences, sequester them off on their own, or say that they are antithetical to lesbianism.

the lesbian community is rich in diversity. we must listen to all parts of our community in order to remain strong and connected. we must bond over our unique differences in order to foster a healthy community that sticks up for one another when necessary, and loves each other deeply without question. we are not here to judge people as if to let them into a secret club- transfem, intersex, trans female, MtF, and beyond lesbians are lesbians whether or not you approve of us using the label or not.

[furashuban]

📱, 💕, 📷, 📖, ☠, 🎥, 📻, and 📸 but only if you're absolutely comfortable with it - no worries if you aren't :))

It's alright I'm totally cool with answering these, also I appreciate it a lot :>

📱 Show your phone lock screen and/or home screen

An intentionally low res image of this doggo.

For context my siblings and I decided to make all of our lock screens into random dog pictures just for the heck of it and is now kind of a vague inside joke we have sdfqfvw

For my home screen though, I'm actually unsure if I'm allowed to share it since it's art that I think was commissioned and by someone who wasn't me, so I'm a little afraid of inadvertedly reposting, but my home screen is essentially art of Johanna and Kaisa stargazing together drawn by @/blagzdeath

💕 Your two top fave fictional characters

Without question, Hilda is one of my most fav character at the moment and my absolute comfort character :> meanwhile my most fav fictional character of all time is Lotte Jansson from Little Witch Academia.

📷 Post the 12th photo from your phone’s gallery

It's a screenshot from the Mountain King trailer that makes me chuckle out of context sdfqdvqv

(this is like the 3rd answer in a row that's Hilda-related my hyperfixation is absolutely showing)

📖 Fave book

It changes over time but I'm gonna pick 2 for this one, being Harriet The Spy by Louise Fitzhugh and Aster and The Mixed-Up Magic by Thom Pico & Karensac! Both completely different plots but revolve around strong child protagonists and have an indescribably cozy vibe to them. Personally I don't think the Harriet novel is for everyone, but I ABSOLUTELY reccomend people check out the Aster graphic novels!

☠ Something that angers you

I wouldn't know where to begin honestly 'cause I'm hardly ever angry at things (or at least I try not to be). But what def comes to mind is people deliberately referring to me by my deadname or using the wrong pronouns for me, even worse when they already know I'm transfemme yet REFUSE to correct themselves once I point out how uncomfortable I am being misidentified. Same feeling goes for when I see this experience happen to my friends or strangers who are also trans/nonbinary. It's just a hurtful thing to go through and some people just don't care to realize how immense it is to be misidentified,,

🎥 Fave film

Like the book answer, I wanna pick 2 of my favorite films of all time. Those would be Hugo (2011) and Kiki's Delivery Service (1989), both films are very heart-warming coming-of-age stories that've never failed to make me euphoric and cozy out of all the countless times I've rewatched them and I totally reccomend them to people who haven't seen them yet :D

📻 Fave song currently

Home To Me by Devil and The Deep Blue Sea, it's a somft song with a catchy melody of string instrumentals, and the track itself is simply a raw recording of the artists' live performance which adds more to the charm. I also tend to listen to it when writing OC stories because it's got the perfect vibe for my drafts.

📸 Post a selfie

Another intentionally grainy pic (which is also my new pfp for Bandcamp) since I don't often take photos of myself I'm sorry,,

[genderqueerdykes]

op you're transfem? i had no idea!!! i'm so used to trans women and femmes seeing trans mascs as a threat, i had no idea there could be a transfeminine person out there who thought we were non-dangerous. that's awesome. on all levels except physical i am buying you a booster box of magic the gathering cards rn. or something

yep! i am transfem & a trans woman. due to being intersex, genderqueer, and bigender, i have other genders as well, but lately it's like if i talk about my other genders, people just don't want to listen to me anymore. i don't like how when someone is perceiving me as transfem, they'll listen to me, but the second i point out any of my other genders, suddenly i'm an unreliable narrator.

being intersex and multigender, i've literally witnessed people who know i'm a trans woman go from respecting my opinions highly and listening to everything i say, to ignoring me, belittling me, and talking over me once they find out i'm also a man. people will literally just lose all ability to care about you or anything you have to say if you mention being anything but transfem or a trans woman and it's gross as hell. i've watched the switch happen in real time, in real life.

i feel like i have to talk about being transfeminine and a trans woman ONLY in order to get people to listen to me and it's fucked.

i know it's really hard to find transfeminine people and trans women who are good to trans men right now, and it's horrible. there are so many other trans women and transfemmes wrapped up in their hatred for being treated like men that they're willing to hurt any and all men that exist near them. and it's not okay. how are we comfortable with doing this? how are we comfortable with treating other trans people like shit if we don't want to be treated like shit for being trans anymore? how does any of this liberate transfemmes or trans women from cisheteronormative patriarchy and transmisogyny?

i'm sorry it's gotten like this. i know so many transmascs and trans men who are outright terrified of trying to talk to or be around transfemmes and trans women because of how hostile this has gotten. i know so many transmascs and trans men who want to befriend, date or consider transfemmes and trans women found family, but are absolutely scared to try to meet and talk to them. there are so many people who are just straight up terrified to say or do anything at all about their queer experience because of this hostility. we have people doubting themselves for being trans, talking down to themselves, apologizing for being trans men, apologizing for not being AMAB or a trans woman... why are we allowing this to happen? this is out of control.

if we as trans women want to be accepted by trans people, we have to accept other trans people, too. we can't demand that people respect us and everything we have to say, and then we just don't do that for other people. like the lack of respect is disgusting. you can't demand respect and then refuse to respect others who are deserving of it as well.

take care of yourself, anon. we are out there, it's just the minority of really loud, rude assholes that are talking for everyone else right now. people desperately want to fit in no matter what. people will claw and fight to feel accepted into a space, even if that space is hostile and dangerous. this is taking advantage of vulnerable people with low self esteem and tricking them into thinking being bullies will make them feel better. it won't. it never will.