#i don't know how else to tag this besides like.

[sometimeslwish]

BURNING IN DESIRE (You Belong With To Me)

MY VERY FIRST CALEB FIC, BABYYYY, LET'SSSS FUCKING GOOOOOOO. Guys, this is sitting at 3.4k words, I've never written this much before in my life. ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜@comatosebunny09 thank you so much for encouraging me as I wrote, and for the small help with the tags. I don't think I would've finished it without your encouragement.

Tags: Caleb x you, Caleb x f!reader, reader is mc, slightly dub-con (if you squint? Idk, feel free to correct me about that tag in the comments), bold mc, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, switchy switch? this was self indulgent as fuuck, degradation (whore, slut) and also praise, Caleb being a meanie by edging you once, possessiveness, petnames (pipsqueak, princess, baby) light choking (both m! and f!receiving)

I'd recommend listening to the following songs:

Bones – Wens | You – Greta Isaac | Anywhere you want – BB Cooper | PRETTY PLEASE & RUNRUNRUN – Dutch Melrose | BURNING IN DESIRE – Chris Grey

You don't bother putting any clothes on before leaving your room. 

Caleb is the only thing in your mind as you make your way through his place. He's been the only thing in your mind in these past few weeks, and you're starting to fray at the edges, wanting more and more each time you meet. You can tell he does too, he's been doing a shity job at hiding it and it's making it harder for you to pretend like you don't want him. Like you're not as crazy and dependant on him as he's crazy and overprotective of you.

The lights are off when you get in his room, with only the moonlight coming through the windows as you slip into his bed. His arms wrap around you the moment you settle beside him, years of habits driving him in autopilot. The fabric of his clothes rub against your body and they almost pull a moan from you, it forces you to bite your lip to stay quiet. There are whispers in your bones, chatter in your veins, and all of it pertains to the man holding you in his arms.

"Nightmare?" His voice is hoarse, deeper from the sleep and you revel in the way it travels deep into your core. You simply hum in response, burying your face in his neck before nodding. Gods he smelled so good, it was really a wonder how you managed to not jump his bones sooner. 

All the times playing girlfriend so other girls would stay back, when he would hug your waist and pull you closer, his voice close to your ear, always a turn of your head away from kissing him. Or when he'd simply carry you when you were being too stubborn, using his evol to pull you towards him before holding you in his arms. Letting go each time was harder than the last; you wanted to swaddle yourself in his scent, burrow under his skin and hide there forever, where no one else could reach but him. But it was alright now, you were going to get what you wanted no matter what. 

It doesn't take him long to register your lack of clothes– or lack of a shirt and bra, from his perspective. His hand sweeps down your back and stops at your waist before coming back up. You feel him tense up and you can't help the small smirk that takes over your lips. He calls your name as he sits up, "Are you–" you grumble softly before leaving your hiding spot and leaving his warmth. You sit up with him, blanket sliding down your body as you use an arm to keep yourself up. The moonlight behind you outlines your body and it makes you look like a dream, an enchantress. 

"It's okay," you whisper, staring into his eyes. His expression looks troubled, like he doesn't know whether to be elated or not, restraint written all over his features as he stares into your eyes. It's okay, really, and you'll help him see that. 

"You can look," you brush his hair away from his eyes, before caressing his cheek, a subtle way of making sure he won't look away from you. "You can touch too" You add, before taking one of his hands and nuzzling your face into his palm. His breath hitches when you kiss it, but he makes no other move. Your insides twist with impatience, and you have to hold yourself back from clenching your thighs as the pool of desire turns deeper. 

"Want me to guide you?" You move his hand down, stopping at your neck for a few seconds. You tilt your head to expose it, shivering at the warmth and the texture of the callouses in his hand. 

"You can leave marks here, bites too," you smile, breathless as you push his hand against your collarbone. His eyes follow the path you're drawing on your body and he gulps. 

Finally, finally you have him where you want him, where you need him. You're going to enjoy every second of it. 

You move his hand lower, and you make him cup your breast, "You can play with my tits," there's a slight twitch to his fingers and you grin, another wall down. 

"Grab my waist and squeeze to keep me in place," you go lower, pressing his hand to emulate a firmer grip. He's more responsive then, hand a little lighter and fingers less stiff. He shifts closer and you move his hand lower.

"You can mark me up anywhere, really, I wouldn't mind" you lean towards him and pull his arm, you stop looking at his face to look at your legs as you make him caress your thigh. His hands are so big that they make yours look smaller. As you stare at the goosebumps his fingers left in their wake, the fire in your bones burns brighter. You've wondered many times how his fingers would feel inside, how far they would reach, and tonight you'll get to feel it.

"Pipsqueak–" whatever he was going to say gets lost in the night as you move his hand between your legs, making him cup your mound. You can feel yourself dripping, wetter than you've ever been, and that only fuels the fire even more.

You look back at his eyes as you push two of his fingers between your folds and into your clit. You don't hold back your moan then, grinding your hips on his hand. It feels so good, better than you imagined, and you make sure to tell him so. There's a pained look on his face, and it makes you smile. 

Break for me, baby, I'll patch you back up.

His breathing is heavy, strained, it stutters to a stop when you guide his fingers to your entrance. You're forced to open your legs, bending a knee to accommodate and allow better access. 

"Can't you feel how wet I am for you? How much I want it?" It's a little hard to push his fingers inside, considering the position he's in, but the sweet feeling of his fingers being inside you makes up for it. You hold his hand there as you move your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers, and it feels a little humiliating to do everything yourself while he's quiet, but you're too gone to care. If anything, it makes the hunger worse, he's letting you use him. His hand is completely still, fingers straightened as he watches you. 

You bite your lip and raise a hand, you trail a soft caress from his chest to his neck, where you pull him closer to you. He's pliant in your hands, following your every lead as you make him look at you. When he looks into your eyes, you can see more cracks forming; you can see the lust, the love, the devotion. His beautiful purple eyes turning darker.

"I need it, Caleb, need you." You rub your nose against his before kissing the corner of his mouth, softly biting his bottom lip after "Don't you wanna make me yours?" 

That's all it takes for him to finally break. 

His fingers curl inside you the moment his lips are on yours, and you moan against his mouth. A high pitched sound that he greedily swallows down as he pushes you into the mattress. It takes no time for the kiss to deepen, for him to leave bites and marks on your neck as he fingers you, leaving you scrambling and gasping for air. 

"This what you want?" The pace he sets is relentless, and you can barely keep your eyes open as you nod, biting your lip as you squirm under him, legs open for him to settle between. "Answer me."

"Yes! Fuck, pleease, yes!" Your hands go to his hair, and you feel him chuckle against your collarbone before biting the skin there. You whimper when he tongues every indent left by his teeth, and shiver at the predatory look on his eyes. His fingers take no time finding the spot inside of you that makes you see stars, and your mouth falls open in a silent moan. 

"Look at you, so eager for me," you whimper when he licks one of your nipples, his free hand stimulating the other. He nibbles softly on it before suckling, timing his movements with each time his fingers pressed into you. He groans before switching to the other one, leaving a trail of saliva and bite marks as he went. There's the sound of squelching and you can't bring yourself to feel embarrassed about anything at all, not even bothering to hide your desperation.

"Caleb," you moan, arching into his touch, "feels so good, please don't stop, please." 

"How am I supposed to say no when you call out for me like that?" He murmurs, but there's something hidden in his voice, you'd be able to pay more attention to it if he wasn’t trying to finger you senseless. He shushes you, kissing you gently, the contrast making you warm inside. He whispers sweet encouragement to you as you near the edge, makes you believe he won't stop, only to leave you gasping for air when he pulls away completely. 

"Why?" You whine, chasing after him only to be weighed down by his evol. You whine again, feeling completely betrayed and empty, your pussy clenching around nothing. In this current predicament, you're not even allowed to reach the edge by yourself, since your hands are pinned to the bed. You can't even stay mad, it's hot, it turns you on and you've never wanted him so badly in your life. 

"You're so mean," He doesn't answer, ignores the pitiful look you give him and simply makes you stare as he undresses like he has all the time in the world. You sigh, all the real estate skin you could be touching and marking right now and he's being a big fucking meanie. Your mouth goes dry when his boxers are finally off. You knew it was big, you'd felt it against your thigh and caught glimpses of it before, it still didn't stop the delighted chill that went through your body.

You look up when you hear him snicker, frowning as he grabs your ankle and pulls you towards him "You're so desperate, it's adorable," there's a mocking edge to his voice, and you're surprised with how it makes you flush. It's embarrassing, but at the same time so hot. The conflicting emotions swirl inside of you, mixing into an addicting concoction that throws you into a haze.

"Nu-uh, look at me, princess." He grabs your chin with his free hand, "Keep your pretty eyes on me, 'kay?"

"Okay," he kisses you as a reward, keeps it from getting deeper in a way that makes you want for more.

"Atta girl, you're a fast learner," he praises and the hand that held your ankle trails up your leg, touch reverent and light, making you shiver with goosebumps. He spreads your legs open and taps his cock against you clit, groaning softly before grinding against your folds. His hips move slowly as he teases you, the head of his cock catching against the bundle of nerves. His hands roam your body, the same way as before, and you can't help seeking his hands with yours as you arch into his touch. Your eyes close, and he must be feeling generous because he says nothing about it.

"So beautiful," you hear him whisper, one of his hands trails upwards and stops at your neck for a brief second, lightly squeezing your pulse points before carrying on. You open your eyes when he caresses you cheek, his are already staring at you, and the look of utter devotion and wonder in them squeezes your heart. You hold his wrist when you nuzzle his palm, and you lick at his thumb when it caresses your bottom lip, all while staring into his eyes. The look in his eyes turns dark, and it makes you bolder, more greedy. You part your mouth and suck his thumb, your tongue swirls around the pad of it as if it was the tip of his cock.

"Who knew you could be such a slut," you moan at his harsh words and grind harder against his cock. You're close, awfully close, it's the fastest you've ever gotten to the edge.

"Oh, you like that? Like being called a whore?" He chuckles, pulling his hand away and using his thumb to draw teasing circles on your clit. "You're so filthy, baby" he tuts. You wrap your legs around his waist and yank him foward. It happens so fast that he loses his balance, and just like that, he slips inside and you come from the stretch alone, moaning his name as your orgasm wrecks its way through your body like an earthquake.

"You– shit, you're squeezing so tight. Did you just come, baby? Just from that?" You moan and nod, grinding yourself into overstimulation on his cock. You pull him closer and hiss at the feeling of the cold metal of his dog tags on your chest, but you ignore it in favor of kissing him. He's forced to prop an elbow beside your head so he doesn't crush you with his weight –not that you'd mind anyways, you've imagined him restraining you or putting you in a mating press so many times now that you can't even keep track.

"Sneaky little minx," he bites at your jaw and you pull him closer, wanting the warmth of his skin against yours. He hoists you up and crawls into bed with you in his arms, and you squeal when the angle and movement shoves him even deeper inside, "So needy, coming from just my cock."

He lays you down gently, using one of his pillows to put under your lower back. Your giggle turns into a moan when he gives an experimental thrust and your back arches off the bed. His movements start gentle, making sure you're completely used to his cock before he hooks your knees on his elbows and holds you in a mating press while fucking you. It's a harsh pace, and you can barely keep your eyes straight as he continues to burry himself inside of you, hitting all the good spots.

"Mhm, 'm such a- ah, whore, aren't I?" You bite your lip as you smile, clinging to his biceps and digging your nails into his skin. The pain makes him groan and, being as ceroed in on his cock as you are, you feel him twitch, "Just a little cock hungry slut." Your smile is crooked, with edges where they shouldn't be and dazed eyes that barely focus.

You grab at his necklace, hold the dog tags between your fingers and pull. It's his turn to shiver as he pays attention to the look in your eyes. It’s hungry, just as dark as his, if not more "But only for yours," you raise the same hand to hold his neck, tags held against his adam apple. You don't squeeze, but you do press at his pulse with your thumb. You feel him twitch inside you and your grin turns sharper. Your arms wrap around his shoulders like a snake on a hawk, and he's got no other option but to adapt to the position while fucking you. It's so much better and so much worse, he can feel your pert nipples against his chest, your moans and gasps closer and clearer.

"You'll give it to me, right baby? I need it." You bite his earlobe, and his thrusts get harsher, like he's trying to render you quiet and mindless. Or maybe he wants to see what else you'd say in this pleasure driven state. Whatever the case, it only makes you more ravenous and that, makes him more ravenous in turn. Like you're two beasts, feeding of each other in a never ending loop of pleasure and madness.

"S-shit, yeah, baby, it's all yours to keep" your nails scratch at his back as he keeps up with the relentless pace, and you swear you're seeing stars.

"Don't stop, don't you dare fucking stop," you commanded, glaring at him as best you could while he pounded into you. Praise and encouragement slipped from your tongue as he kept the pace, all amidst broken moans and gasps.

He felt so good inside you, looked so good on top of you, his moans sounded so fucking hot, you wanted– no, needed to keep him, probably even more than he wanted to keep you.

"Mine," you whispered, moving a hand to his head and tangling your fingers into the strands before pulling to expose his neck. You bit into his skin, licking the teeth marks and sucking marks along his neck as a silent apology, "all fucking mine, right Caleb?"

"Fuck, yes, princess. 'M all yours."

That's all you could think of, a never ending string of "mine, mine, mine" over and over, paired with each of his thrusts. It rose along with your pleasure, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

"So fucking deep," you gasped, "So fucking good," your moans got louder, the pitch higher and in response, he moved faster. All of his focus was on you, he could tell you were close, your tell tale signs already memorized from when he'd fingered you. It drives him mad, drives him into grinding deeper, into letting go of one of your legs to circle your clit with his thumb, looking down to where your bodies connect and groaning as he sees his cock disappear inside of you.

"You're fucking perfect, pipsqueak, you know that?" He noses your neck, and revels in the way you instantly tilt your head to grant him access, "Perfect pussy, taking so fucking well and squeezing me so tight. You'll come for me, right pretty girl? Cream all over my cock?"

"If I do, you'll cum inside, right? Fill me up with your cum?" You were close, you were so fucking close and so was he. He'd almost cum just from you asking, but he wanted you there first, needed to feel you clamp down on him.

"Yeah, baby, I'll fill you up." That was all you needed to come, nails digging into his back and your body shaking under him as you had the hardest orgasm of your life. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream, eyes rolling back and head swirling with thoughts of Caleb. He's doesn't take long to follow you into the high, with a gasp of your name as he burries himself deep in you and grinds as he cums. You moan at the warm feeling, your fingers easing on his back. You scratch softly at his nape and he lets go of your leg. You wrap them around his waist to keep him there, and he switches to supporting his weight so he doesn't crush you as both of you gasp for breath.

You're on your way to fall asleep when he rises and pulls out, staring as his cum oozes and drips out of your pussy. You don't get a warning before two of his fingers are fucking it back into you.

"Caleb" you drawl out the last syllable, pouting as you watch him. He hums and looks back at you, with a smile that pretends to be innocent but is nothing like. You huff, roll your eyes and pull him into a kiss. It's slow and sensual, both of you taking the time you want without the desperation from earlier tainting the kiss. He makes you cum again like that, and then cleans both of you up before changing the bed sheets and kissing you goodnight.

When you wake up, it's to gentle caresses and kisses, all from Caleb. He's lying beside you, shirtless, with a soft smile and a fond look.

"Caleb," you call out, just because you can and you want to, before grabbing his hand and pulling him closer. You nuzzle into his neck before kissing the skin, all the way up to his jaw, ending the trail with a kiss on his mouth. You shiver when his arm wraps around your waist, enjoying the warmth of his skin against yours, and you bite his lip before soothing the sting with a lick.

"Good morning," There's the smell of food in the air and your hips and lower back hurt, but you don't pay any mind to it.

You have everything you need now.

[imaginespazzi]

hey!! do u only write fics or read them too?? if you do read them, are there any oneshots you really recommend? besides cessa’s because i’ve read all of those 😭

I read them too!

And you're so real because I've also read all of Cessa's (multiple times tbf)

@azzifudd my queen Em who I miss and love and adore has so many super cutesie fluffy one-shots and I literally recommend every single one!

@rosemariiaa my Rosie Posie darling also has some of the cutest fics but I especially adore her two family fics

@luvergirl-866 you might know her for the absolute masterpiece that is SLL, but she also has some amazing one-shots and I live and die for not a lot,just forever

@pbaz7 somehow drops a fic a day and god knows how she does it, but they're pretty much all fantastic but I'm a little partial to chasing forever

@basketball-lesbians might be the queen of pazzi smut tbh and I blushed and giggled lost my mind reading both ease and stiff

@sellasstories don't call her a writer (tee hee) but she might understand Pazzi better than anyone else and everyone adored I'd let you (me too pt 2 when Sella queen) but like sweet is such an underrated gem

@ldapper has some super sweet fluffy (and spicy) fics and I adoreeeeed kiss cam

@wordsmeetwbb whose masterlist I am still getting through but I needed whatever Azzi wants, Azzi gets SO BAD LIKE SO BAD

And finally, I gotta give an AO3 shout-out to iceinmyveins the OG Pazzi writer (also known as @5x35) because where would this fandom be without her.

Honestly, I've read so many wonderful one-shots and this isn't even all of them, because I literally just go through the tag, smiling and kicking my feet reading everyone's works. But I love all my writers so, so much and seeing any of them update, makes me so happy!

[the-mandawhor1an]

Thank you for the tag my dear Minchen @evolnoomym (Isch lieb disch du geiles Milschbrötschn)

Round 1:

Considering I know next to nothing about either of these, I'm going just by the general vibes and the little knowledge I might have picked up just by scrolling on Tumblr

bed: Dave -> I trust both Mina and my dearest Jana @guiltyasdave and they are Dave girles. Seems to be relatively safe

wed: Javi G -> Guess that makes me a gold digger, besides him being rich he seems like such a little sunshine and I could use a little sunshine at the moment.

behead: Pero -> sorry buddy, I know nothing about you so you're getting yeeted.

Round 2:

bed: Oberyn -> I'm probably getting the most bang out of my buck from him, others can join in too, I don't really mind too much.

wed: Marcus M -> He seems like a big softie and a huge cuddle bug and I live for that. Also how cool is his hero ability?

behead: Ezra -> Again, he's cute, but I know too little of him to see 'redeeming qualities'

Round 3:

bed: Tim -> the holster does something to me. he seems like he needs to take his frustration out on someone and I volunteer as a tribute.

wed: Din -> do I have to explain myself? That man is on my skin already, I have an armor kit, I am in spirit a member of his clan already.

behead: Whisky -> I'm not too much into his big ego

Round 4:

bed: Javier -> I think we all know why

wed: Dieter -> Possibly another gold digger situation for me. He'd piss me off to no end but I'm a trash panda deep down and he gives off the same vibes

behead: Lucien -> Same as with the others, I know too little so tossing you doesn't hurt

Round 5: The meanest of them all

Because seriously, putting these three into one round is cruel

bed: Marcus A -> I might have to get STD tested afterwards, but the general can ruin me a little. I want to play with his hair a little and he tells me about Roman mythology afterwards.

wed: Joel -> I am basically married to a Joel already. I feel like he's another big softie and probably the best husband material out of these three? I would marry Marcus and Joel if I could.

behead: Frankie -> I know he would give me the night of my life but pairing him up with the other two is ... again ... cruel

NPT: @zaddymandalorian @djarins-wife @djarins-cyare and anyone else who's interested.

Comment who you’d choose from each round 👀🥵

[bamdelune]

an art gallery could never be as unique as you .𖥔 ݁ ˖ rafayel x reader

tags ➜ angst, hurt/comfort elements, reader just ghosts him SAWRY, not beta-read, may be canon divergent (i haven't played LADS in two years woops...)

summary ➜ Art is a discipline, a lifestyle Rafayel lived for—aside from you. But what happens when the source of his inspiration, the driving reason for every brush stroke on the canvas and every dip into the paint had disappeared?

note ➜ this is not beta-read because to be very honest this was only written as a futile attempt to revive this account T__T apologies if this made no sense at all because i just saw this concept on TikTok about Raf getting burnt out when the user doesn't open the app for long periods of time and that TWISTED MY GUT SO BAD OH MY DAYS.

It wasn't unusual for Rafayel's studio be filled with silence during the day. In fact, the painter usually preferred it when the walls were silent, giving way for fresh ideas to roll in. But these days, the studio seemed eerily quiet with no sign of the familiar hunter gracing its halls like how she should be doing.

Messages left delivered, unread. It was unusual of you to do such because Rafayel knew you would always respond. He can't help but get worried, after all, it wasn't like you to ignore him, much more be off your phone for days on end. For a vague reason, he can't seem to put a finger on why he feels so demotivated just because of a measly little notification he expected to light his phone up at the most random of times. It's just a bubble, why was he so caught up in something so trivial?

But to Rafayel, it wasn't just a childish notification. It was routine; something he can't ever give up. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

As much as he hated to admit it: you are his routine. It was clockwork (or rather, it wasn't) for him to eagerly press on the power button of his phone to scan for your contact name on the lit screen. It drove him crazy, and frankly, he was amused. Amused that you could have such an affect on his days as if you controlled it. You minx. You're so cruel, he believes, for having this control on him that he can't seem to get enough of even when you don't know it. Perhaps he'd prefer it if you didn't. He knows you, you'd stop the moment you found out he enjoyed something that sounded so masochistic. Because damn it all if you weren't kind. That's one of the things he both loves and hates about you. Rafayel loves it, for it makes everywhere the two of you go home. Rafayel hates it, because it draws him dangerously closer to you when he knows he shouldn't indulge.

He tries his best. The bristles of the brush slightly dip into the clumpy and viscous paint bucket that sat beside his canvas, carrying a vibrant hue that seemed to contrast how gray his world felt. There was no sign of you, and that felt like there was no sign of life. His hand that usually moved with conviction now stroked the surface of his work with uncertainty, as if his thoughts were clogged up in his head with no way out, no way to make themselves known to him. His eyebrows furrow, focused on each stroke and stripe of his hand but it feels futile. Rafayel doesn't know what he's doing, he's aimless.

A sigh heaves from his mouth, tossing the paintbrush somewhere he can't even be bothered to look at. His hands rest on his dress pants, leaning his weight on his knees as his purple orbs absentmindedly gander at the atrocity of a painting that sat before him. When did this feel so empty?

That's when he realizes he physically can't take it anymore.

His fingers are quick to inch for his phone, hesitating a little before they tapped on the screen of your contact. Floods of unread messages are a reminder of the things yet to be acknowledged and the fresh wave of demotivation washes over him once more as his hands over the keyboard, thinking of what to say.

But what else can Rafayel say except the usual.

"I miss you."

It's simple. It's nothing new. But it's him.

© bamdelune 2025. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Back Forty View (On Our Piece Of Ground)

6 - The Way That It Feels When You Lean In And Kiss Me

Pairings: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgis Tennley-Owens, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky

Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)

Warnings: SMUT (at the end) unprotected!piv (wrap before you tap), trauma bonding, brief descriptions/mentions of death and medical crap, braindamaged!Tyler, pregnancy talk and idk what else but its a hot mess.

A/N: Lol these four idiots are just sharing their trauma and touching each other over and over again. Brief description in the beginning of Tyler and Jake burying their dog Dixie in a flashback and mention of death, so just be warned there.There's smut and trauma bonding throughout the whole 6k words of this chapter. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore but I'm having fun writing it anyway lol. As always let me know if you enjoyed it too! Thank y'all for continuing to read. I know it's a journey and I'm so thankful for everyone that's supporting along the way!

Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03 @coloraturadiva @kmc1989

Dixie didn’t die when the boys were young, even though she was no spring chicken when they got her, so they had plenty of an understanding of what was going on when it happened. In fact it had been Tyler who had to bury her, not without Jake’s help though. They’d understood death from a young age because of their biological father dying. Kenny, their stepfather, had an old rope horse that had passed that mostly the boys rode, but every so often Kenny would hop on and rope a couple cows, just to remind the boys that he was still nimble enough and a good enough hand to kick their asses. Those boys needed that every once in a while. But there had been enough death for them to understand it. It didn't mean it didn't still hurt.

That old rope horse, Dodge, had collapsed in the stall overnight, and they’d found him cold in the morning. Kenny showed the boys what to do and how to do it and then Tyler was always volunteering at the rodeos when a cow died or a horse had a heart attack from running too hard, or what have you. It was Tyler’s calm demeanor that made him someone that everyone could lean on in those heavier moments. And that carried through even when Tyler wasn’t himself. Even when he’d been in pain, in absolute agony, everyone still felt like they could depend on Tyler for solace. 

So the morning that Dixie died, she died in front of the fire. Jake had been home from a deployment and they had been outside working on cleaning up the property. Kenny had injured his shoulder and couldn’t do much with the tractor, so Tyler, in between tornados, had come home to try to fix it up. Jake’s deployment had gone south, losing Austin, one of his very best friends. He needed time with his brother to blow off steam. 

Their mother had been tending to Dixie mostly, giving her the pain medication that was helping her stay somewhat mobile, keeping her warm by putting a blanket over her, even in the summer, and staying frequent on her food mood swings. She’d eat a certain food for a while and then decide she didn’t like it anymore. That was just what old animals did sometimes.

Tyler and Jake had come in from helping Kenny to their mother sitting on the chair by the roaring fire. “Momma? You okay?” Jake asked, noticing there were tears in her eyes. He knelt down in front of her and placed his hands on her cheeks. Tyler placed a hand on Jake’s back, then squeezed his shoulder. Jake glanced back at Tyler, who’s hand was over his mouth. His eyes were on Dixie, who was curled up next to the fire. Jake tilted his head and then he realized that the dog wasn’t breathing. He crawled the few feet to her and felt her. Warm, but no breath, 

“She’s...gone...I think...” Jake stuttered and Tyler knelt beside him, He rested a hand on the dog’s chest and feeling no heartbeat, tears began to run down his cheeks. He scooped the dog’s body up and waited for Jake.

“Let’s go find a good spot in the field. That was always her favorite place.” Tyler murmured, Dixie’s limp body in his arms, followed closely by Jake. When they exited the house and Kenny saw the dog, he knew immediately. 

“Momma’s pretty broken up.” Jake said as Kenny patted the dog’s head one last time.

“I’ll go sit with ‘er. You boys okay to take care of her?” He asked, and Tyler nodded, sniffling. Jake veered off, going to the barn to grab a shovel, then they headed out into the wheatfield, smack dab in the middle of it and took turns digging until they had a decent spot. Tyler laid her in the hole, and pulled her favorite duck toy from his pocket, throwing it in with her and then Jake scooped the dirt back over her. They placed a rock over the top and as they stood, they faced each other. They silently hugged and then headed back to the house to go see if their momma was doing okay. It would take a while for them to process the loss of that dog, and the house would be too quiet for a long time without her.

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

Heartbroken was an understatement.

Georgia sat in the barn, staring, just staring, at the nameplate on the all door. 

“Wildwood's Blue China - Wilene - Loved by Georgia and Tyler Owens”

Tyler had just gotten their horses all nice, brass engraved nameplates, and the new halters. Tears rolled down her cheeks, into the dirt on the barn floor, thinking of how little time the mare had gotten to wear that pretty new halter. She felt a hand at her back. As she glanced up, warmth spread through her chest and she stood, nearly jumping into Tyler's waiting arms. 

“Rascal can have her stall...then Ducati can have a spot in the barn. Twist needs a friend...” She murmured into his chest. 

“Gee, not now. I know you're tryin’ to distract yourself. Don't. You're allowed to sit with this. You're allowed to hurt.” Tyler's tone was soft and forgiving, his hands the same on her back. 

“But I don't want to.” She said, her eyes reaching his then. There was sadness heavy in the sage green.

“I know you don't darlin’ but you might have to...to help wade through the grief.” He reasoned and she shook her head.

“Why, when you can pull me out of it?” Her hands wound around the back of his neck. 

“Because I ain't pullin', not this time. You never processed your grief for your father completely. I know you didn't. I need you to sort through this . I will help you, but you've gotta work through it. For us .” He motioned between them and then laid a hand on her belly. Georgia understood immediately what he meant and he was right. “Darlin’ you're so good at movin’ on. Don't. If you need to be sad, be sad. I'm here for you, whatever you need.” Tyler offered and Georgia leaned into him more. 

“Can I ask you somethin’?” Georgia's voice was barely above a whisper and Tyler nodded. “When you said you wanted some things to slow down, what did you mean?”

“Life. I just want life to slow up. I feel like we're goin’ a million miles a minute sometimes with all the projects we got goin’ on...the channel, the horses, the house..I just need to hit the brakes a lil’ bit.” Tyler’s hold on her tightened and she felt a wave of tension rush through him. She moved one of her hands down, to the top button that was open on his shirt. She played with the hair on his chest, which made him smirk.

“You know it's all gonna come screeching to a halt when this baby comes, right?” Georgia said, pressing her nose into his chest. She inhaled his scent, which was musky and fresh after showering. Though, Tyler could smell like horse shit, cow shit, and days old ball sweat and Georgia would still think he smelled good. It was because he was her person. 

“I'd like a little respite before that...” Tyler murmured, sighing deeply before pushing his nose into her hair. Horse hair and peaches with some soft floral notes. All sweet, all the time.

“Tyler...I'm so sorry you're exhausted...it's my fau-” She began but he stopped her, peeling her away to catch her irises with his.

“Don't you do that for a second. It's not.” He’d never let her take the blame. He knew he was overextending himself. It was what he did. That was him. He’d work his fingers to the bare bones if he had to.

“You give me and everyone else so, so much of yourself.. .I wish you wouldn't sometimes. ” She said solemnly, her brows knitting as she stared up at him. Her fingers played with the collar of his shirt absentmindedly. 

“I don't know how to be any other way.” He said, leaning down to touch his lips to hers. His eyes drifted down to her belly and his frown turned upside down.

“I know you don't. That's why you're gonna be the best father. But don't lose yourself completely.” She smiled and then it faded, her eyes then searching his. As if she was trying to gauge just how much of himself he’d given away today. Sometimes she could see it, sometimes she couldn’t. He cocked a hip and his hands went under her jacket and traced her sides.

“Y’know there's a part'a me that I reserve for one person and one person only.. .that's you. ..even Jake doesn't know bout my head. Jake knows I'm in pain but you...I told ya...it's unbearable some days.. .but I get up for you . Always for you.” Tyler confessed, his gaze dropping. His face then contorted in pain and Georgia could see he was at the end of his mental allowance for the day. It was getting down to the last month to go and her support system, her husband, was hanging by a thread.

“I know. I love you so much, Tyler. We should take a vacation. We have plenty of people here to take care of the ranch, the channel, the dogs even...” Georgia suggested and Tyler pursed his lips.

“Where are we gonna go on a vacation?” He asked and Georgia shook her head. He was right. Where were they going to go with her as pregnant as she was?

“How ‘bout this then...one day a week, we take the day off. You don’t go into your office, you don’t touch a truck unless it’s to drive us on a date, and I don’t even go out to the barn. I don’t touch a horse or a saddle. We can stay here, or go out for the day, but we don’t do a goddamn thing having to do with work.” Georgia said and Tyler raised a brow.

“Hmm. We just... touch each other all day? That ain’t work.” Tyler mused, pulling her in closer again. His smirk was feral.

“ Yes, Arkansas, we just touch each other alllll day. ” She sighed, not out of annoyance but out of relief knowing that his humor was still intact. 

“So when-abouts do we wanna start this?” He asked, hands shifting so they traveled up her back slightly. 

“When do you want to start it?” She asked, her fingers caressing the hair at his temples, comfortingly. Tyler closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her hands on his head. His most vulnerable area, forever and always. Every so often, he would still see the bull’s hooves coming straight for him, and the ground meeting him before he blacked out, and the thought of the memory made is temples throb, and the crown of his head sear with pain, but as long as Georgia’s hands were there, it would subside quickly. She didn’t know it, but she could always take his pain away in a heartbeat. He should tell her that sometime, but not yet.

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

“You'd kill me if I ever told ya how bad that last concussion was.” Tyler murmured as he ran his hands up and down her side. Laying in bed together, in a house, not some shitty motel, was exactly what Tyler had always dreamed of. It was all he ever wanted.

“You're gonna tell me now.” Georgia demanded, turning to face him.

“Else what?” Tyler teased, his nose touching hers.

“I don't know. Nothin’ scares you anyway.” Georgia whispered, glancing away from him. Her fingers grazed over his bare chest, giving him goosebumps. He chuckled lightly. 

‘That ain't true.” He admitted, his eyes trailing over her naked breasts. He placed a hand on one, squeezed gently and then pressed his lips to hers.

“What are you afraid of Tyler?” Georgia asked, letting her lips linger close to his. He drew back and pressed his mouth to her shoulder and stayed there.

“Losin’ you. Again. ” His voice was almost imperceptible, and it caught Georgia off guard. Her brows knitted and she took his head in her hands as she saw his eyes glaze over and grow misty.

“Well I won't threaten that. I don't ever wanna be without you again.” Her fingers threaded through his hair, the hair at his temples and she traced the tips over his stubble. His breath came out in a shudder, before he began to explain what he’d been told when he’d first woken up from his coma.

“The doctor...said if I didn't rest my brain...if I wasn't careful, it could've bled, and I could've died. They were like ninety ninety percent sure I was gonna die. They almost had to drill a hole up there to relieve the pressure.” He tipped his head down carefully, his nose touching her collarbone. She was careful as she drew his head against her chest. She played with the hair at the back of his neck that he had been needing to trim. 

“Did they?” She asked. He blew air from his lips and then pressed them to the top swells of her breasts. She sighed softly at the contact, the warmth of his mouth comforting to her.

“Nah. Luckily, very luckily, the swelling went down with the anti-inflammatories...and then from there it was just pain and symptom management. I used to get migraines and be down for days on end. I couldn’t drive ‘cause I’d get dizzy, I’d get sick...I guess I sympathize with you pretty hard on the morning sickness...” He explained, his strong arms pulling her in even more than she thought possible. 

“Now I wish I hadn't asked. I didn’t know it had been that bad. You don’t...do you still...” She asked, as Tyler shifted against her. He climbed over the top of her, his head still in her hands. His eyes landed on her, as she dropped her fingers to the nape of his neck.

“No, no. Been about two years without any symptoms. Just need to be careful with my noggin is all.” Tyler’s voice grew husky. Georgia glanced down, as his fingers splayed over her belly. “Especially with the little one on the way.”

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

“I really appreciate you doin’ this for us.” Tyler murmured to Jake as his hand connected with his brother's shoulder and squeezed gently. Jake tilted his head and smiled.

“Not a problem, bruh. You deserve a day off. You plan on goin’ anywhere?” Jake asked, as he saw Georgia coming down the stairs. She sidled up right beside Tyler.

“Not really. Goin’ to get lunch and then we’ll be back. I honestly want to sleep and I think Gee could use it too.” Tyler said softly as he felt her hand fit into his, fingers entwining and closing tightly with his. She smiled up at him and then at Jake. 

“Aright, well, get goin’ then. We’ll hold down the fort. Stay out as long as you’d like. Don’t rush home.” Jake said, punching his brother gently. He watched as Tyler and Georgia left, hand in hand. Grits whined and then gazed up at Jake.

“Sorry bud, ya can’t go with ‘em.” Jake said, reaching down to rub the pup’s ears. Grits whimpered and then trudged over to where Ballast was laying flat out on his side. Ballast side-eyed him and then lifted his head. Grits laid down next to the larger pup and poked him gently. Sam looked up from her laptop.

“Oh, he’s so sad that he can’t go.” She murmured, as Jake sat down next to her. He placed his arm around her shoulders and leaned back. She melted into his touch and glanced at him. His eyes dropped to the floor and he tapped his foot a few times. Sam finished typing what she had been working on and then closed the laptop. “What’s wrong?” She asked, turning to face him, her hands meeting his thigh.

“Did you hear me get up last night?” He asked, running his fingers over her knuckles. She sighed and scooted just a smidge closer.

“I felt you leave the bed...and then I fell back asleep.” Sam said, placing her other hand on his chest. His heart was beating rapidly as his brows furrowed.

“I had a nightmare...” Jake murmured, the frustration in his tone evident. Sam tilted her head.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” She asked and he shook his head. He threaded his fingers through hers and he rubbed his other hand over his face. 

“You were tired. It wasn’t that bad.” He said, letting himself slide slightly down into the cushions. Sam sat up straighter, a dominant gesture.

“You’re supposed to wake me up any time you have a nightmare. We agreed.” She said, annoyed sounding. She climbed over his lap, straddling him and he didn’t look her in the eyes. He felt ashamed, which was not what she had intended, but she wanted him to trust her, even if he thought it wasn’t that bad. 

“I know, I just...it’s old shit...not new shit.” Jake placed his hands at her waist and dug his fingers in, his jaw working as his tone became tight. 

“What does that mean? Please talk to me, Jake.” Her hands rested on his shoulders and she settled her weight across his lap. He sighed heavily.

“Austin...my friend...he was a pilot. He died on the last mission I was on before the Dagger detachment.” He said, his green eyes catching her brown one then. She saw sadness there. His breath became heavier as he struggled to find words to tell her what he wanted to tell her.

“Was that what the nightmare was about?” She asked, biting her lip.

“Do you ever have nightmares about...about Rooster?” His nose scrunched, regretting asking the question immediately. Sam’s expression softened. She expected the slight deflection as it had been hard for Jake to completely open up about all of his trauma. 

“Very rarely. Mostly when it had just happened. Since then...maybe once or twice.” She explained and he nodded, feeling inferior. His nightmares plaqued him, sometimes night in and out, but Sam seemed to never have them. It didn’t meant she didn’t re-live things when she was awake though.

“I haven’t told you everything...about...between me and Rooster.” Jake looked worried, and Sam surmised that it was maybe because after he told her all of his secrets, and opened all of his scars for her to see, that she might feel different about him. 

“Are we telling secrets then, Jake? Because I have one too.” She admitted. His eyes widened and his fingers pressed more firmly into her hips. She nodded.

“You do?” He asked, eyes searching hers.

“Yeah, but you go first. You’re the one that had a nightmare.” She begged, her brows knitting. She shifted slightly on his lap which unintentionally aroused him, but as he began to tell her about his friend, that warm and lusty feeling faded.

“Nothin’ really secret about it, I guess. I beat the hell outta Rooster after we came back from that mission. It was his fault that Austin died. I still believe that. And then, I got court martialed. I was on probation when I met you at the Hard Deck that night...” He explained, his fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt. Her skin was warmer than his hands and he hummed as she drew in a sharp breath at the iciness of his skin against hers. She could melt the ice that coursed through his veins in that moment too.

“Oh, bad boy, huh? I knew I liked you.” She teased, wiggling her hips slightly. He smirked and glanced down and to the side, before his lips parted and he caught her chocolate brown eyes again.

“It was worth it. Rooster was too slow to get there. I never really processed Austin’s death...no one asked me about it. He was my best fucking friend besides Javy, Samantha...and it seemed like no one even cared...’cept maybe his mom and sister.” The green in his eyes had begun to simmer slightly, whether out of anger or neediness she wasn’t sure. It could’ve been a mixture of both. There was a long silence then between the two of them, Sam just observing Jake. He stewed under her gaze, biting the inside of his cheek, his jaw working, his shoulders tensing. She pressed her fingertips into the back of his neck, kneading the muscles there, quelling some of the irritability that had built up in him. 

“Jake, can I ask you about a pilot? You might have known him.” She spoke softly, leaning in closer to him, her lips almost on his. 

“Of course. What squadron was he in?” He asked, his voice soft and sweet again.

“ Yours .” Sam said, her voice cracked at the end of the word. Jake noticed this and he drew back slightly.

“He was? What's his name?” He asked, his eyes darting back and forth from hers to her lips. He watched the pink rise to her cheeks and he knew it wasn’t lust. It was guilt. Why would she feel that , he wondered.

“Bodhi...” She murmured, her gaze falling away from Jake’s, as if she felt dirty for even uttering the man’s name. He was dead, why did she care so much?

“Captain Bodhi Denson. Yeah. I knew him. He was a really good guy. Unfortunate what happened...I missed the funeral.” Jake explained, sucking in a sharp breath, regret pinching his brows together.

“I was there.” Sam said quietly, sniffling. Jake’s eyes widened in realization, but he wanted to give her a chance to explain what had happened and why she’d been there.

“Wanna tell me why?” He asked, reaching up to cup her cheek. He steadied her, guiding her gaze back to his.

“Before you...after Rooster...I was involved with Bodhi...a little.” She admitted, her fingers working nervously at the back of his neck. He was well aware of what she was doing. Her nerves were there because she felt like she’d kept something huge from Jake, when it was really insignificant, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Involved how?” He asked, trying to keep his tone flat, judgement out of it. He hadn’t been with her then and he couldn’t be mad at her for past partners, especially a guy like Bodhi.

“Just...involved somewhat...intimately...he was...he helped me after Rooster...” She stuttered and Jake understood. Jake surmised there had been feelings of some sort there and she clearly didn’t want to tell him, for fear of making him jealous. Jake shouldn't be jealous of a dead man, but...

“I don't know if I like where this is going.” He admitted, his brows raised, his jaw tight. Sam brushed her fingers over his temples then, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He let his eyes flutter shut, enjoying the feeling of her lips on his and the closeness between them. When he was vulnerable, when he was in his feelings like he was right now, her kisses always felt like the first time again. They always set a spark through him and grounded him, even when he felt like he was losing control of every bit of himself.

“Jake, do you ever feel like things happen for a reason?” She asked, as they parted. She stayed close to him, their breath mingling. Her voice was so quiet, as if she was trying to make sure no one else heard, even though it was just them and the pups. 

“Maybe.” He shrugged, pulling her shirt up slightly. She let a sigh leave her lips and then kissed him again, adjusting her position again. 

“I think...well...I believe...that maybe Bodhi sent you to me...why else would we happen to meet at the Hard Deck that night? After you lost Austin...I lost Bodhi...the shit with Roos...” Sam reasoned and Jake shook his head.

“Maybe it was just a coincidence?” He said, trailing his hands across her lower back. He left them there, waiting for her to respond again.

“I don’t think so...” She said, digging her nails into the back of his neck as if she was trying to get her point across.

“Why do you think that?” He asked. She let her hands run down the front of his chest, stopping to massage his pecs for a moment. He blew air from pursed lips as he gazed into her chocolate brown irises. 

“Because Bodhi wanted me to be happy.” She murmured, making Jake cock a brow questioningly.

“He told you that?” He asked, his hands moving again. There was stiff, tense air between them and he felt like he needed to move or have her make a move. Something needed to give. 

“No...I know he did. It was just how he was.” She said, her hands lowering more, to his belt buckle. He raised his brows again.

“He was a nice guy...I felt bad when his wife left him and took his kid but...hey, is that why you gave me a chance? Because you think Bodhi would've wanted you to?” He asked and she nodded.

“Partially, yes.” She said, unbuckling his belt. Jake’s chest rose and fell rapidly, his whole body igniting. It didn’t take much, and she’d started it. He just hoped she wasn’t going to try to end it before they began. Jake stretched up and covered her mouth with his, their tongues then tangling, tasting each other for a few moments before they drew away from one another, panting in the same rhythm.

“Why else? What did Nat tell you that night? She talked to you the entire time. To be honest... I couldn't take my eyes off of you that night .” Jake admitted, and there on Samantha’s cheeks was the heavy, rosy blush that she acquired when she was aroused. When she was close to him. When he complimented her and when he touched her. She felt her cheeks heat and she knew that Jake had noticed, as his hands began to tug at her shirt.

“She told me that even though you were an asshole, you would probably be one of the only pilots she'd be okay seeing me with. She told me you were the most surprising guy she’d ever met. She also told me when you guys had sex...” Sam began and Jake rolled his eyes. Hearing Nat’s name dampened his arousal slightly.

“Jesus...here we go...” He said, annoyed, but Sam brought her hands back up to his cheeks. Jake glanced down, his belt buckle undone and pulled apart. She hadn’t gotten to his zipper yet.

“She just said you were not what she expected. She thought you were gonna be some big jerk and you weren’t. She wasn’t surprised that you left after though.” She said and his brows raised again as he swallowed hard.

“I left because we just weren’t gonna work. We’d had a little alcohol, we both were pretty pent up...she asked me and I just needed the release. My hand wasn’t cutting it. I...it just...didn’t feel right with her...not like it does with you.” He reasoned, and her hands left his cheeks to unzip his jeans. This gave him some relief from the tightness that had rapidly become a problem. 

Before he could do anything else, she was removing her own pants, the yoga pants that he so loved to see her in. They shaped her ass perfectly, for his ultimate viewing pleasure. He couldn’t get enough of her. He wondered then if he would feel the same about her when she was pregnant. He had noticed, with his brother at least, it seemed as though he was even more attracted to his wife while she was pregnant, and Jake felt that a lot of that had to do with the fact that Tyler had always wanted kids. It was an extremely  attractive thing to Tyler. Jake on the other hand, didn’t know he had wanted any of this until Sam, so he wasn’t sure how he’d feel. But he was kind of excited to find out. 

“How did we go so long being in the same circle of people and never meeting? How do you explain that?” She asked, her voice rapidly dissolving into a soft and sultry tone, one that Jake had stuck in his head during all times of the day on some days. It was part of what had gotten him through his rehab, though with his recent nightmare, he felt like he’d taken a step back. But he knew Sam would be right there to help him through whatever was going on in his brain. He just wished he could make sense of it so she wouldn’t have to bother.

“Just chance? I don’t know if I believe in all that spiritual shit.” He said, as he lifted her shirt over her head. With it being the winter, and them not being out in the bright California sun all the time, their skin had taken on a more pale tone, the tan leaving them, but Jake still loved her the same. He loved all of her the same, and he knew he would forever, no matter what season it was. He figured he might love her no matter what her body looked like because what it really was that he loved about her was her brain. It was the fact that she made him think, and almost frustratingly so.

“Well, I do. I think the universe lined things up perfectly so that we’d have each other to wade through this mess we’ve got between us.” She said, as Jake took in the sight of her perfect breasts. He let his head fall back against the back of the couch, sage green dipping back and forth between her tits and her mouth. Her lips were parted slightly, lids lowered, as she began to slide his jeans down his hips. She stood from the couch for a moment, to fully pull them off, throwing them on the floor. Jake’s mouth dropped open and his hands reached to guide her back to his waiting lap. She gladly climbed back on top of him, her hands pressing into his shoulders for support. He winced slightly, a twinge jolting through his collarbone as she used him for support, but he didn’t mind it. It let him know that this was all real still and that he wasn’t dreaming.

He often thought he was when he was with Sam. He thought, multiple times a day, how could he have possibly found such a perfect woman? And then he thought back to what she said about Bodhi. Maybe he could, for just a second, believe that her meeting Bodhi had made the stars align so that they could then meet. Jake felt for Bodhi. The man had lost everything, and then he died. Quite the opposite of Austin. His friend had everything going for him. Austin had even been on track for a promotion. Funny how Jake had gotten the exact promotion that Austin was going to get. Funny still how the tables had turned and Jake had seemingly made up for his past transgression by saving Rooster on their last mission. Was that some ass backwards way of the universe telling him to forgive Rooster? Maybe. 

Jake still had a lot of maybes circling around his brain, but as Samantha settled over his hips, the wet warmth at her core centered over his cock, he temporarily forgot all of those maybes and what ifs. Sam had a way of helping him let go of all of his over analytical thoughts and Jake did the same for her, but it was the negative emotions that Jake pulled from her. Jake wouldn’t stand to have her think she wasn’t good enough or that she deserved any less than she got. Jake wanted her to feel like she was the most important girl in the world, because she was for sure the most important one to him. 

“What mess are we talking about now? The one in our fucked up brains or the one that we’re about to make all over this couch?” He purred, his lips brushing the outer shell of her ear as he then descended toward her breasts. She pushed them toward his mouth and while one of his hands cupped one, the other traveled from her hip around the front of her, down to her sopping wet core. 

“A little of both, Jake.” She sighed, her head dropping back as he began to pleasure her. He took one nipple in his mouth, biting softly, as his fingers pinched the other, This set her body alight, her abs tightening, the fire in her belly stoked. Jake pulled his fingers from her and took her panties aside. She moaned his name as he slipped easily inside of her, letting her sink down all the way once he’d breached her entrance. He sucked in a sharp breath as she fully engulfed his length. She was the one who began gently bouncing up and down on him, making words spill from his mouth like prayers. His voice was solid and husky, low and lascivious. 

“Fuck, Samantha. So good, you feel so, so good, babygirl. So good for me. Made for me, swear to God, you were made for me .” Jake felt like he was just throwing out words, but Sam heeded each and every one, all of it bringing her closer to her release. She was wound tight, just at the edge of it, and she swore that Jake’s praises could send her over if he just kept talking. 

“Made for you, huh? Made just for you, Jake?” She mused and his brows furrowed as he nodded, the now burning green of his eyes blown wide with lust. She angled her pelvis so that her clit rubbed against the skin just above the base of his cock every time she came down.

“Just for me, my fuckin’ beautiful girl. My good girl, so good for me.” Jake’s hands searched, grasping for her hips and taking over for Sam as her rhythm became sloppy. He lifted and dropped her rapidly on his length, her walls tightening with each pass. 

“Yeah?” Keep telling me, handsome, keep going .” She moaned, neediness evident in the words, begging him to continue his incoherent banter. 

“Feels so good when I’m inside you, babygirl. So fuckin, uh, so good, uh. You’re so good. And mine, fuck, all mine. All, ohhh, uh, mine .” Without warning, though she didn’t really need it, he was spilling inside of her, deep inside of her and she was cresting her peak all in the same breath. Her nails dug into his shoulders and she dropped her forehead to his, the sweat on their brows making them stick to each other. Jake reached up then, pulling her lips over his, locking their tongues together as they both stilled and let their orgasms wash over them. Their breath through their nostrils was the only sound in the house, besides the crackling fire. They knew the feeling well, the euphoria that had built up and exploded in the pleasure centers of their brains. The coiled fire in their loins burned, the backdraft erupting throughout their bodies. As the ecstasy faded, and they settled slowly from their shared high, they parted, a string of spit still connecting them for a brief moment. Jake reached up and wiped it from their mouths. 

“How did we get here?” He asked, his smile full of exhaustion and warmth, as he pressed his lips to hers once again.

“We started talking about feelings.” Sam joked and it made Jake chuckle too. He pulled her against his chest and they stayed like that for a little while longer, before gathering themselves and heading to the bathroom to clean up.

[nguyenfinity]

Dear Producers,

Heartbeat! Revival: Honey-Dipped Summer Rain will start soon!

Crazy:B has lately been receiving higher-profile jobs, having developed a name for themselves. Their latest offer is the chance to be in a short movie, where Rinne is one of the main leads. However, Niki finds himself in a position he didn’t anticipate…

Stay tuned for further event announcements!

Featured Cards: ★5 [Cerulean Lovesick Heart] Niki Shiina

HI OKAY YEAH full disclaimer, this is not a real event!! Fun collab project between 2 insane creative minds haha sorry

Y’all are in for a ride okay have fun o7

Card template is from fourleafprince on twt!

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Oooooo these are the kind of in-depth questions that I love! Thanks for the tag ^_^ I'll answer for Curse in Two Bodies.

1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 

Punishment does not make amends. In fact, self-punishment can distract a person from truly making amends.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 

Lots of different sources! The magic system started from Heroes of Might and Magic III, which has artifacts and literal mana wells (they're so cute look at these tiny pngs I found on the wiki page):

The aesthetic comes from 1700s France and Russia.

And the politics comes from real-world American imperialism in the pursuit of crude oil! :D

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 

I had to think about who the main character really is, but I suppose it's Ninlen. He's just trying to deal with the overwhelming pity and responsibility that he feels for everyone around him, including Adelais and his own family. It seems to be ruining his life but he doesn't really notice or care until he's being put through so much pain that it almost kills him.

I want the reader to feel how much compassion it's possible to have for people like Adelais, but also the fact that it can be a double-edged sword. It has to be combined with proper accountability or it's just self-destruction.

4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 

I don't know, nor do I know if I will actually finish it. But since my longfics seem to have about 15-20, I'll say 15-20.

5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 

It's original, just posted on Tumblr. I'll put it on AO3 if I finish it!

6. When did you start writing? 

As a very young child, but I started actually finishing work and putting it online around this time last year! It's pretty close to my first Tumblr fic's anniversary now.

7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

Writing fanfiction or trope-based content or anything "indulgent" IS productive. It brings you joy and it brings your readers joy! Besides, even if you're writing things that you don't want to show in real life, you will build up your skills and a group of author friends and it may have an impact on things you make "IRL." I am now planning to write published books at some point (already made one attempt, and got about halfway through!) and a lot of the work I see on Tumblr is really high quality! You are an author!

Let's see, I'm not sure how many people are working on longer fics at the moment...but I will tag @bluelolblue @catnykit @fizzlepop-frog and anyone else who wants to join!

Tag Game: Author Ask Tag

thxxxxxxx @sacratos for the tag!

Question Template: 1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 6. When did you start writing? 7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 

Don’t be an idiot and actually communicate with those you love, lol. In all seriousness, I don’t know if my story has a main theme, but there are several themes for sure. The importance of having family that loves and supports you (whether found or biological), taking back autonomy of oneself, and the importance of community.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 

Other BBU/pet whump authors! If you have written for the BBU, trust me, I have used some idea of yours as inspiration somewhere. I also use middle school me’s obsession with dystopian novels as inspiration as well.

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 

All my MCs are trying to heal, in one way or another and I want my readers to connect with my characters in some way. Not really teaching a lesson or having some big, major theme, but I want my characters to feel real and connect with the readers (yes, even if you want to kill them you cannot touch Star, he is immune from death)

4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 

Hahahaha ha ha ha. . . yeah, no clue

5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 

Original content from my brain! I post it here, and only here

6. When did you start writing? 

The minute I learned what stories were. I think I wrote my first “story” (bible fanfiction. No I will not be taking questions about that) when I was about seven or so, then my first full fanfiction at nine and I have not stopped since. 

7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

Read! Seriously, I cannot stress this enough! Read! And not just to compare yourselves with other writers–please don’t do that at all–but read to see how others write emotion, descriptions, characters, plots! Take what you like and figure out why you don’t like other kinds of writing, then apply what you want to your own writing. Also, your writing voice will develop in time. Don’t worry about that.

A large chunk of people I follow are writers! Can’t list all of them here, but they know who they are and their writings have inspired and shaped both my style and my content. Ilyasm! 

Tagging (w/o any pressure!) @quietly-by-myself @whump-card @sparrowsage @whumble-beeee @whumpyourdamnpears and anyone else who wants to join in!

[chocohedgie]

I remember reading a headcanon online that Pomni purrs and kneads like a cat when she's happy, so I was inspired to draw this 🤭

They’re both laying on grass btw

I think they deserve a little rest

[front-facing-pokemon]

sandaconda SNIFFFF

this is true

sorry about the radio silence apart from the queued posts for the past few days, folks. i'm gonna drop all these asks and then give you a bit of an explanation, as well as a possible read on the future of the blog, down at the bottom of this post, if you care to read it

everyone loves appletun..! i used one to beat the champion in my first ever run of swsh because i thought it was so cute. and grass/dragon is a fun typing..! just one more way to be 4x weak to ice my belovèd

i don't even remember what this is in reference to unfortunately. this is the way to get to the grass gym from motostoke, i think..! though you have to go through a route to get to the mines

y'know, i'm not sure! perhaps if i knew what it was based on, i could tell you better

let them have it :/ they deserve it

okay. hi. you've reached the bottom. i have a confession! i have not been able to update the queue in like. a week

my commitment to uploading every pokémon in natdex order already fell off a little bit when the galar pokédex was out of order compared to the national pokédex and i was choosing to include regional forms in "natdex order" by using their placement in regional dexes. now that i've reached all the regional evolutions in the natdex, i've found that my previous methods for getting models and getting them to work are not necessarily panning out. this is, of course, for one specific pokémon: galarian farfetch'd. i believe this applies to the rest of the galarian forms that i have yet to upload, as well, as i can't seem to find models (that i know how to work with) anywhere on the internet. if you want to see the most recent state i was able to get galarian farfetch'd into, then here:

it's fucked up. you may have noticed that i also didn't post galarian corsola before cursola. that's partially because i forgot it existed, and partially because i didn't have its model so i didn't know it existed because of that

i don't really know what to do here. i haven't queued up a single pokémon in about a week, and even then, the pokémon at the end of the queue you'll notice are getting progressively more and more fucked up textures-wise just because of how difficult they're getting when i can't find the proper models and i have to throw something toegether in like an hour. which! this blog never used to take me an hour! it used to be a few minutes out of my morning, at most. now mornings are taking me upwards of two hours just to get these motherfuckers working—and now i've reached a point where i can't get them working at all

from my perspective, i have two options, neither of which i want to do. option one is to just post the pokémon that i have and can get working, skipping ones that i don't have or can't get working. option two is to just go on indefinite hiatus until i can get a hold of the models and get them working. i like neither of these options!

i suppose there's a secret third option, which is that i start using in-game screenshots like i almost did for phantump that one time, but those aren't the easiest to procure when i can't perfectly manipulate the model and the camera to get the angles that have become the style of this blog

i don't want to quit when i'm this close to the end (and especially when there's so many of you waiting for your favorite pokémon), but taking two hours out of my morning to get one pokémon working is becoming a chore i relent doing, and i've become unable to do it at all now that i can't get the models to render correctly

i don't have a solution to put at the bottom of the post here! i don't have a way to say "so because of this, i'll now be doing blahblahblah" because i don't have a blahblahblah that i can do. i don't know what the best course of action is, because i have never really encountered this kind of problem on the blog before. the hiatus i took back in 2020 was for completely unrelated reasons, and like 99.9% of you weren't even here for that. and sure, only like 20 folks read these asks, let alone down this far into them, but for those of you that don't, you'll just be missing out and confused. for those of you that do, i thank you for sticking around this long. this is not goodbye, and i don't even want it to be a temporary goodbye—but it is me saying that there are 18 pokémon left in the queue and i don't know how to add any more

the best solution is probably just to post the pokémon that i can and hope the models i can't get aren't anyone's favorites. how do we all feel about that? i could always try in-game screenshots, but that'd be such a big change in styling and visuals that i dunno if i wanna go through with it. i'm at an impasse here, and i've been avoiding even talking about it because technically most of the followers of this blog couldn't care less if there was a real individual behind it—they're just here for the silly pokémon images. but, y'know, hi! here i am, i'm a real individual running this blog, and it's not that easy anymore!

[omegapheromone]

Hiya, I've been on a lengthy hiatus from online misce spaces for various reasons, but I'm preparing to get a bit more active again finally! Sorry to everyone who sent asks either before or during this time, I know I've been away for AGES so I don't know if I'll answer every single one right away.

That being said, how has everyone been? What's new? Are people still having random drama over nothing? Have the misce spaces and omegaverse fiction/author spaces separated further again? What's the hot topic to talk about currently /hj

No but I do want to know. How has everyone been? I won't tag any specific people since it's been a long time since I've interacted with anyone, but please don't hesitate to respond to this post, send asks, dms, whatever- I'm glad to be back and feeling more stable again ^^

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 1 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out 3,000 words wasn't enough.

I cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I needed to get some feelings out. Also it's in two parts because apparently Tumblr has a maximum character count and I hit it.

Overture

• Firstly, female conductor, we love to see it

• I love overtures and entr'actes and this show's is so good

• Shoutout to the orchestra

• I have never experienced a bad Broadway orchestra but still doesn't mean they do not deserve serious praise

• Does just the instrumental of Camelot make me very emotional and think about fundamental human goodness?

• Yes, this show did its job

• The end of the If Ever I Should Leave You part is just permanantly in my brain as the part during bows where they point to the orchestra

• Whatever the music that plays as everyone starts walking onstage is epic

• The vibe is set and I'm ready

Act 1 Scene 1: A hilltop near the castle at Camelot

• I've said it once and I'll say it one thousand times, I am obsessed with the way they've used the space in this show

• I love that they can walk up the back of the stage, I love that they have the stairs in front, I love that they've got so many exit and entrance points

• Sorry to the actors who probably had to do a lot of running around but it was fun for me

• As much as I like spectacle, I don't inherently prefer it over this kind of more minimalist thing

• But I do feel like they did a good job at conveying scale and drama even though the set is extremely minimal

• "I have the exact same amount of information that you do" just immediately starts the show off on the right foot

• This is a new take and I was here for it instantly

• And such a funny way to deliver a ton of exposition, this will be the first of what will become the prevailing theme of my rambling which is I adore Sorkin's writing beyond measure

• Merlyn's delivery drenched in sarcasm for every line is perfect and we clearly see where Arthur gets it from

• Specifically "do you know what calamity means?"

• But also "things in England are changing too fast"/"words that have never before been spoken"

• Establishing Sagramore in a funny way that becomes so serious by the end

• We jump right into the Sorkin dialouge rhythm and it feels so right

• There's the perfect amount of everyone overlapping each other and finishing the other characters' thoughts

• And also the jaunty music when most of the guards leave, like I don't exactly know why it sounds like that since it doesn't fit but I love it anyway

• I know it's part of at least the movie's score but like to me it's still strange, I've been calling it clown music in my head

• The difficulty finding the king exchange and also the pheasant hunting exchange are so funny and set the tone so well

• Can you see I'm attempting not the write out every line of dialouge?

• But also I love that we get this little build to Arthur to wonder what the hell is going on with this guy

• Because if you're me, you've come into this show with basically the association with JFK and that's it

• So I had no clue and was curious

• The knights have like mostly terrible points but Sagrimore's delivery of "snear all you like but five minutes ago we were at war with that girl's county and tomorrow I'll be swearing an oath to protect her with my life"

• He's not wrong

• The knights are so good, the actors are perfect

• Every bit of casting is inspired and those three are no exception

• "Arthur get the hell out of the tree"

• Again with no context, the tree really got me

• "Hiding, I'm obviously hiding" - I am instantly in, the delivery on this line is so funny

• Okay fine I was in from the way he said hello, also a hilarious delivery

• My roommate brought up immediately how effective it is not to have him do a British accent and how it again just makes Arthur relatable - genius

�� Whatever voice he's doing is a perfect choice

• Also young Arthur is so much the right choice it's staggering to me that they ever did it any other way

• They thread the needle so perfectly of Arthur being young but not in a way where he's like an incompetent child

• Which I feel like is actually how some of the other versions with older actors still managed to come off

• But this Arthur is just young and trying

• "My mouth disconnects from my brain"/"I've witnessed that"

• As like a character note, I love that exchange but I also was worried this was gonna be what it usually is, which is a male character who cannot treat a woman like a human person

• But no, Arthur has absolutely no problem with that, his mouth only disconnects from his brain when he's trying to confess feelings and that is 1000% more endearing

• "Years of tutoring in philosophy and law, why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"/"You're not marrying for love and there's nothing about it that can be taught."

• To which my roommate that I dragged to see this twice and who has just been forced to talk about this show with me, maintains that perhaps you could maybe convey that relationships are about communication

• That lesson might've helped just a bit

• "You're not marrying for love" like Merlyn is trying to warn Arthur and he sure did not listen

• "They should be reading" Arthur babe they literally can't, it's the Middle Ages

• Also the establishment of no magic is so deftly handled

• Arthur complaining that people think that dragons are real and you get exactly what this world is

• I love that I Wonder What the King is Doing tonight becomes his noble king music

• Also I just absolutety love any time anything has a recurring musical theme it just lights up some part of my brain every time

• The yelling of "he's scared" and all of the subsequent lyrics in that spot is again hilarious and just very good characterization

• Also the delivery of the slaying a dragon part whatever that singing accent is I love it

• Actually the way he sings all the parts where he's imagining what other people are saying

• The other characters have a lot of songs that are gorgeous and require some incredible vocals and songs with fun lyrics and fun performances but not at lot of them get to infuse this much personality and character into the songs through just the delivery

• Don't know if that's from the original or not but it's one of my favorite characters introductions I've seen in a bit

• From what I've seen this is definitely an escalation of previous versions and I adore it

• He's so annoyed, he hates this shit so much and he's so funny

• I mean also lots of credit to the lyrics because they are obviously very funny

• I love this song a lot

• Arthur's "shhhhit" when he realizes that he's managed to run into his future wife

• The multi-layered complication line, so quintessential Arthur

• The contrast between the gorgeous Julie Andrews channeling singing and Genny's brashness in her movement and dialouge

• Like obviously that's already in the lyrics but the book and direction just stretches it

• Everyone knew Phillipa Soo was going to be perfect and she is

• A lot of my strongest impressions are about Arthur

• Because I had no idea who the actor was and because in the limited amount of adaptations I'm familiar with of this whole story, Arthur is the bad guy or a good but extremely boring guy

• But I knew going in that I was gonna love Guenevere and Phillipa Soo even if I've never seen her on stage before

• So it was unsurprising

• Like my expectations were sky-high and she's so talented in every way and the writing for Genny is so good that she exceeded them anyway

• And she's so damn funny

• Obviously the whole rescued in the wood bit is already just a good joke and I'm honestly impressed with how funny the original songs are

• I am a sucker for the thing in stories where we know what's going to happen because they've been told so many times

• When they have a character say something the audience knows is foreshadowing

• "Cause a little war" is what I'm thinking of in this moment but there are tons and every time it's a hit with me

• The delivery of the clause one bit is perfect and her backing Arthur into falling on the bench and then just turning around and back to angelic singing

• The turnaround from the aggressiveness to the extremely soft and feminine singing is brilliant

• "The more knights slaughter each other, the fewer there are to slaughter the rest of us"

• The exchange about the dowry still being in the carriage

• Their deliveries are so funny

• They immediately bounce off of each other perfectly

• And Genny not even escaping with the dowry she's supposed to be using to buy her freedom, amazing

• "What is power uuuused for? That is a very interesting question."

• Genny just immediately knocking Arthur's socks off

• Trying to write out some of the word deliveries he does is so hard but there are a few that absolutely kill me

• They've known each other for five minutes and they're already having a debate

• "I've known kings, I'm daughter of a king so marrying a king doesn't have the same allure for me that it apparently has for you"

• She just speeds through those words at the end and it's great

• "They run to here" is another bit of hilarious delivery but I also love the contrast it sets up between Arthur trying to be kingly in a way that doesn't fit versus later when he does it his own way

• I could listen to them go back and forth saying why for ten minutes

• Genny's incredulousness when he says the weather

• I can't remember but I think she's walking away and then just turns to stare at him in absolute confusion

• Like he's so ridiculous that she can't help but engage

• I did a quick bit of intermission math and we know this takes place seven months before the Lusty Month of May which is obviously happening in May

• So Arthur is literally singing to Genny about how there's no winter until December while at best - assuming the one month later and six months later are rounded up - it is snowing at the absolute beginning of November

• More likely October

• No wonder Genny thinks he's full of shit

• His improv did not pan out

• This is a joke for me, thank you Aaron Sorkin

• Do love that canonically, Arthur is in fact singing the song Camelot - that he just made up in a panic - what a dork

• Genny's little interjections of skepticism are all so funny

• Also just instantly establishing her as someone you love

• She's perfect

• But my favorite is "my escape is time sensitive, do you understand that?"/Arthur still singing/"no he does not"

• These actors are both hilarious, the amount of stuff required of musical theater actors continues to blow my mind

• Like not only to do the whole singing, dancing, and acting thing but then you have to convey it to a whole theater but also not overact to the people up close and be able to do comedy and drama how

• I was in practically the back row up top and not a good view but extremely close (like seeing the actors spit close) on the side for the under 35 tickets and then also in very good seats and the performances by literally everyone never felt too much or not enough

• "Are there any other people in these woods you could recommend?"

• Also this moment which is the cutest thing you've ever heard

• Do I remember exactly what happened? No. But do I know it was adorable? Yes.

• "And we have poets in France"/"Oh yes of course... But do you?"/Genny angrily naming French poets/"Understood" and he's already singing again

• The entire performance of this song and especially getting her to sing along, so charming in the most annoying way

• But also she's sort of into it which is cute

• I do see on YouTube that there was a bit more to this French poets discussion which was probably right to cut but I am delighted to find literally anything new

• Sidebar

• I have been known to have issues with staying present when I watch things and not letting my mind start wandering. And one of the reasons I knew Camelot was good the first time was that I was totally engaged the whole show. But the last time, I did have the one moment where a thought popped into my brain during this song that completely threw me out of it

• And that thought was "this Barbie has taken a carriage ride to hell" after Genny says that line and like why brain?

• (For the record Genny and Arthur are both Barbies. They are everything. Lance is just Ken. Perfecting his body and soul is his beach. He is Kenough. Arthur and Genny have a terrible day every day. Lance only has a terrible day if Arthur and/or Genny look at him.)

• (I believe I have come up with a combination of words that have never been spoken before and perhaps a genuinely new opinion on a thousand year old legend)

• (In a bad way)

• Anyway

• The pure chaotic comedy of the knights finding Arthur and Genny freaking out is not something I can articulate but I adored so much

• Phillipa Soo is stealing the whole show in this one

• Does Genny come out of her hiding spot with her mouth wide open before she gets on the ground or am I misremembering?

• "We call that a sin of omission your majesty"

• With no remose "oh we call it that too"

• "Were you never going to tell me?"/"No I was going to get to it"/"When?"/"After I told you about the weather"

• Not a single bit of remose again

• I don't have anything to say, I just think the exchange is very funny

• I love not making Arthur any kind of royalty, he is truly just some guy

• Like I'm reading The Once and Future King and Arthur's lineage is so weirdly complicated and I just don't care, I like him as some guy

• "He discovered he didn't have his sword because I left it at... a house, that doesn't matter, that's my fault"

• Now that's a line that is funny on time one and fills you with dread afterwards

• The most exasperated "I was just going to borrow it for the day"

• Something about the delivery of "when I opened my eyes the square was filled with people shouting god save the king"

• Like Arthur never actually says out loud that he didn't want to be king but Genny gets it right away

• "I see you now, you're just a boy wearing a crown you never wanted sitting atop a throne two sizes too big"

• Just an absolute cutting response but Arthur doesn't take it that way at all, he's so earnest

• She reads him to filth but it doesn't even rattle him, he just takes it because it's true

• Gorgeous writing in what she says and his response

• "But provenance has put us both here, both of us highness and want it or not we are commanded to wear that crown and to grow into that throne"

• Chills, the delivery is outstanding

• We finally get King Arthur

• And Genny being convinced, all it took was one genuine moment and she's ready to engage

• Then Arthur again just taking so passionately about what he wants Camelot to be

• No wink, no sarcasm, no shame

• This show is unabashedly sincere and optimistic and I love it

• Genny falls in love with Arthur, I fall in love with Arthur, Genny falls in love with Camelot the idea, I fall in love with Camelot the show

• Everyone including the audience and Arthur were already in love with Genny for Phillipa Soo reasons so there's no moment for that one

• I feel like the trope-y thing would be to have Genny be a cynic here but no, she's just as much of an idealist as him

• She put up a little front of cynicism at the beginning but as soon as she gets the option of hope, she's choosing it instantly

• "Or you can stay. And together we may discover if power might be harnessed as a force of good"

• Like he's instantly treating her as a partner in this endeavor

• And I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight playing under it so beautifully and then the seamless musical transition back to Camelot is so perfect

• I am music stupid so I wish I had something to say about it but your songs have got to be tight to flow that way

• "I don't know if I'm worthy" also just a heartbreaker

• We don't really get to hear anything about Genny's life in France but she's clearly very opinionated and competent and I wonder if besides the whole wanting romance and adventure thing

• She also had an idea of what the life of a queen is like

• After all she's the daughter of one

• And she didn't imagine having this kind of role in actual ruling and doesn't know whether she can live up to this ideal that Arthur has set

• Like maybe she thought the only way she'd get to impact the world was knights killing each other over her or being the cause of a war, at least that's something

• But now she has a chance at more and she's grabbing it

• Genny singing the reprise is so beautiful thematically - it makes me a little teary just watching her instantly be like I see your dream and understand it and I want to be part of it but via some of the best singing maybe ever

• Such an amazing recontextualization from the original

• I've seen little clips of this reprise from 1961 and this one just feels warmer and more meaningful because it's about the ideals and not them confessing love at first sight

• And somehow more romantic

• They're instantly established as a team who share intellectual and philosophical similarities

• To so quickly convey that and make it believable

• It not only cements their relationship but makes them characters you root for

• And then the sounds of people coming in as soon as or maybe even before they get to finish singing together, like it's their world and they're falling for each other but there's no time, they're king and queen now and that will always supercede their relationship

• Also something about the moment when Arthur introduces her to the court just also really gets me

• "She's nice... some of the time"

• It's cute how smitten he is with her, all of her, immediately

• "Something about her makes me want to be a better king" (so Arthur is actually capable of expressing a romantic thought, don't get used it it)/"She's very attractive"/"Oh she is but it's not that"/"Arthur"/"Well it's not just that"

• I love the way they flip the speech Arthur gives Genny from the original about not feeling like a king until now meeting her

• But now that they've actually gotten to know each other a bit and it's after she's agreed to stay it actually makes sense here

• I do also love that even though he can't manage it to Genny's face, he does feel completely comfortable expressing his feelings about her to Merlyn

• The "oh she is" is so cute, he's so excited

• The music under his conversation with Merlyn before he starts just monologuing, very ominous

• I'm obsessed with it

• "We finally have peace" is another line delivery that I just need to sit and think about

• The joy of it, the relief

• Again the idea that Arthur has been a king at war this whole time

• Merlyn mentions, as part of a joke but still, almost as soon as we meet Arthur that he's fought armies

• He's not optimistic about the world because he hasn't seen conflict

• He's more determined because he sees what it does

• Channeling best man in all fiction Waymond Wang this is how I fight energy and that's very my shit

• Very much my shit might be a slight understatement

• It might not be surprising to learn that Arthur is my favorite thing about this show, they revamped this character so well

• So much of my life was spent in the media age of male anti-heroes and I love that we've returned to a point of male heroes

• Arthur idealistically talking about how they can finally start making Camelot for everyone and Merlyn walking off stage while the ensemble sings I think the part from the cut song and I assume some new stuff that's very Medieval church music

• So so good

• "What do I do next?" so eager and then just the emotional drop-off to his scared little boy when it becomes clear what's happening "Merlyn?"

• Stunning performance

• I think Arthur falls to his knees at some point but I'm already doubting

• The "what the hell do I do now?"

• Perfect scene ender

Act 1, Scene 2: The King's study - one month later

• The transition music between scenes is always good

• It's gonna be a struggle not to just quote this whole scene

• "Arthur, please call me Arthur" is so desperate like he has no one now, no actual human connections to him as a person instead of a king now that Merlyn is gone

• And then asking what she was called back home, he wants connection so badly

• And probably he still feels guilty for taking her from her home to be his wife

• "I was a royal princess, I didn't have friends"

• Well there is a reason they're both terrible at relationships

• I also love the way Phillipa Soo says Arthur in such a stilted way at the beginning of this scene and it becoming more natural every time she does it

• Genny telling him he's not attending to his duties with enthusiasm like she is not the least bit afraid to challenge the king a month in

• Love to see it

• Arthur's "I beg your pardon" when she asks about cortesans and the look he gives her

• "My father kept his women, his extra women, in their own wing of the palace. Where are yours? Might they cheer you up?"

• Genny the proactive problem solver

• Also something about the way she says extra women makes me laugh

• "I don't have extra women, I'm a married man. You were at my wedding" perhaps one of my favorite deliveries and lines in the whole show

• Genny's point of view in this scene is very interesting

• Like she does bring up that it's his legal right instead of dropping the whole thing and that's a choice

• Does she think he's lying about not having cortesans and reminding him that she is legally obligated to be cool with it so to be honest?

• Or is she just baffled by Arthur and his choices because this is a normal thing for a king to her?

• Or maybe since she already has feelings, she's trying to balance her own expectations to not get hurt?

• Possibilities

• "I'm aware of my legal right in that regard and I assure you I have no intention - oh my god - no intention of exercising it"

• Specifically the delivery of oh my god but the whole thing, he is so offended

• "And making the world into Camelot, are you abstaining from that too or will men at honor continue to plunder villages and take, rape, and kill whatever they please?"

• Genny

• Genny you are a hero

• She's so smart and fierce and unafraid to stand up to Arthur

• "I didn't make the world"/"You make a part of it"

• Arthur being so defensive and Genny calmly holding her ground

• She's taken to her new role so well

• And then Arthur admitting he doesn't know how to proceed without Merlyn, I love the way he builds trust in her in this scene

• "What would he say?"/"He'd say my god you're the slowest student anyone's ever tried to teach"/"Well I can convincingly say that"/"It's good that you mock me, kings should be mocked from time to time, it brings people pleasure. But for the record it's no fun for the king"

• Genny sounding so pleased with herself, Arthur getting out another sarcastic response

• Also what a lie, it is fun for him

• Mocking each other and public policy are their love languages

• "He once explained why but I got distracted because a white tailed eagle flew right by" with the most excitement and boyishness

• And then starting to go off on a tangent about eagles

• Never change Arthur

• I just think it's sweet the way she redirects him because she's fully committed herself to the idea of Camelot and her role in it

• "Pace freely at your own pace"

• Another brilliant line and delivery

• Channeling some Mary Poppins here

• Genny getting Arthur to think is so good

• "You had to pace and comcentrate to arrive at that?"/"It's hard to imagine why your country was willing to part with you"

• The proposition/resolved structure of this scene is very good

• And also that he starts with this pessimistic tantrum about human nature and Genny guides him back on track

• It's a great relationship moment but it also lets Arthur have some struggle and lets Genny be for Arthur what he was for her in the first scene

• Arthur collapsing on the floor and muttering "extra women" like wow he cannot handle being thought of as not a good person

• "That's it?"/"Wait"/"I wasn't going anywhere"

• Her being on the floor with him, gently pushing him

• He can't even maintain cynicism for more than a few minutes

• Them building the idea of the round table together, this is peak romance

• I can't just quote this scene in its entirety but every moment of it is a delight of them passing ideas back and forth

• "Isn't it also about the law?"/"It is"

• A standout delivery

• I love when they're working out the wordings like they make each other better

• "The law will be the stone upon which this rock - the rock upon - wait the church?"/"Have mercy"/"The law will be the rock upon which this church is built"/"Nothing can be more important"/"Nothing can be as important"

• This is what I love about Sorkin's writing

• The way that he has characters discuss ideas

• Like everything is an exciting discovery

• There's no singing in this scene but it has so much rhythm and is so compelling when in another writer's hands it would be boring and forgettable

• I broke out a chunk but it's so dense there are so many words and I love each one

• Genny counting down to his return, she already knows him so well

• Again I am trying not to type out every line

• I think they both yell for the page but I'm actually not sure, either way they are so excited and yelling something

• The new book has done so much to deepen their relationship, I adore these idealistic little nerds

• Arthur cannot contain himself

• His attempt to cool things down for himself by taking his hands off her face and then "you were very helpful, thank you"

• Smooth

• Convincing

• Definitely professional and platonic

• Truly do not know how Genny does not realize he's in love with her at this point but she sure is not gonna get better at that

• "And I suppose France too"/"I know that hurt"/"A little bit" and then he laughs it's adorable

• They're both so giddy here

• "Arthur I did already know that about you, that you were a decent fellow"/"I'm glad"

• They're in love. They are so in love.

• Arthur has taken on Genny's tone for the word inspiration when he talks to the knights

• "You've invited the French" every time Sagramore says it, it's just as funny

• "We may not be born equal"/"We are not sire" (with so much contempt)/"So our laws will make us equal" (with no room for disagreement)

• The immediate conflict

• And we see Arthur being a king and taking a hard line which we don't get to see much in this show and I love it

• "What about God's laws?"/"Not. Our. Jurisdiction" like are we sure this is not actually from the west wing

• I'm internally cheering when I hear it, I love this line far too much

• It's funny but also authoritative and kingly

• I get that some people do not vibe with Sorkin's style and that's fine but I very much do

• This show is so for me it's kind of incredible it was not made with that purpose

• A Sorkin character who would love Sorkin's work, I just adore it

• And according to the funniest line from any review I read, also has Sorkin's haircut

• That just lives in my brain because it's funnier than any piece of media criticism I will ever hear

• The knights already dissenting is very good but also that they don't fully agree yet with each other

• They build it in immediately and that's such a good choice, it makes every escalation feel totally plausible instead of the knights just easily falling for Mordred's bullshit

• Dinadan quoting Plato's ideas and saying how they're the well-educated people who should be in charge is great

• I love that the knights get to be characters and have thoughts

• Their constant vacillating between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the power structure they benefit from

• One of my favorite running tensions

Act 1, Scene 3: The countryside outside of Camelot - six months later

• The performance of C'est Moi is so funny

• Going 100% immediately

• Jordan Donica was just as perfectly cast as everyone else

• The lyrics are so funny and then he is just so loud

• His little whispered "C'est Moi" after the second verse while posing is so much funnier than it is on the cast recording

• "Had I been made the partner of Eve/we'd be in Eden still" is my favorite lyric

• The scream on clean destroys me

• Lance is always at a 10 and he's so delusional, I'm obsessed with him

• There's so much loud breathing in this performance which I love

• And whirling his sword around the stage

• "Beware enemies of Arthur do you hear me beware, from this moment you answer to me" while Arthur is literally unconscious behind him, this is comedy

• "You raised your sword to me"/"Oh I was saying hello"/"I did not know that"

• Lance is not sorry at all and it's hilarious

• He's just on another planet compared to everyone else and I love it

• Also Arthur so pure, just seeing a random person and trying to say hi

• Like you're the king of the country, you do know many people are not exactly going to be friendly, right?

• "I honestly thought I was more recognizable to the French"

• "Have you changed your Francs to English shillings?"/"Why?"/"This man's face is on money"

• Arthur subtly trying to tell Lance what's happening but the word subtle is not in Lance's vocabulary

• "I'm underwhelming in person"

• Says the man that keeps making French people instantly fall in love with him in the woods

• "My security detail... right in the nick of time"

• "I beg your majesty to forgive for me for by forgiving me I'll suffer even more"

• Lance is screaming the whole time

• I don't know how he does it

• "But my strength comes from purity of spirit"/"What was that?"/"Purity of spirit, my personal relationship with the almighty, he favors me"/"I'd keep that to yourself"

• I can't write it out but this

• And this is about to have to switch out for the rest of the show so like even more screaming somehow

• He's so funny, it isn't reasonable

• Also love that his language is the least modern of them

• It fits

• Seems like some of his lines come directly from the original book and it works amazingly

• "Be a faultless example to children" is another iconic delivery

• Also Lance asking for a mission, incredible

• He just plays everything so straight and it's perfect

• Like not a single acknowledgement of the ridiculousness of this character

• Arthur will literally get a concussion to avoid a social function, relatable

• "Until you came along and whacked me in my head"/"AND FOR THAT I BEG YOUR HARSHEST PUNISHMENT"/"Nope, nope, we're not going back to that"

• Yes the all caps is necessary, Lance is always speaking in caps, if he lived in a time a cell phones all of his texts would look like that

• And Arthur's tone when he responds

• When Lance starts singing again and then Arthur just says nope so many times

• This is their whole relationship

Act 1, Scene 4: A park near the castle

• This scene is just a magnificent Phillipa Soo showcase that we have been blessed with

• Like she is just so talented and I am blown away

• There's a reason Lusty Month of May is the song they have the most out there

• "The birds and the bees with all of their vast/amorous past/gaze at the human race aghast" is my favorite and she does it so perfectly

• Also the intro music just exactly captures that buzzy spring feeling

• My roommate and I both had the experience where the first time we saw the show, none of the music stuck with us

• And then the second time, all of the sudden it burrows into your brain

• This burrowed first because of course, it's so vibrant and lovely

• The original music is so good and somehow the transition from the more modern dialouge into the songs is seemless

• Genny has two missions: justice for all and bringing sex to England

• Look there's none in her own marriage and she needs an outlet, make those people kiss, it's all you have

• Genny's so fun and adorable in this song and it's perfect and I have no notes

• I'm just gonna go watch the today show performance and bask in it, this is the most classic Broadway musical sequence in the whole thing

• I love the idea that she's inviting all these normal people in and the beginning of the knights absolutely hating it

• "Be right quieter"

• And when they refer to Genny as a guest in the country

• The original is very and everyone loves her and I love that there's this tension where the people with power don't like her but everyone else does

• They say all the quiet parts out loud in this scene

• The show needs the knights so badly to show the discontent growing over time

• But they still respect tradition enough to enforce respect for the queen on Pellinore

• "I've only lived here a short time"/"Oh and you're already the queen, well done"/"I really had nothing to do with it"

• "Full of youth he was but brooding over problems that would confound Solomon. Ever met him your majesty?"/ "Constantly, he's my husband."

• With such affection ahhhh

• "You must be Morgan Le Fay... oh how he'd go on about the loveliness of Morgan Le Fey, her unsurpassing beautiful"

• Genny getting emotionally slapped in the face, it hurts so much

• The first crack in their relationship because they couldn't talk to each other...

• "I'm glad that nice young man found a nice young lady"

• Why does this make me feel things?

• I love the royal music every time

• "As you were everyone, pick grapes, eat flowers, or uh the other way around"

• Arthur and Genny's little catch up about Pelli is very cute, we don't get to see them be cute for a while after this so I just want to appreciate it

• Lance having no social awareness and continuing to make proclamations while Genny could not care less and is actively trying to speak to someone else, brilliant

• Genny and Arthur just waiting for Lance to stop talking after she keeps being interrupted and then Genny rushing out her lunch invitation and Arthur rushing out his response

• Arthur immediately wanting to run ideas by Genny, she is crucial to the development of Camelot and it's very much not a secret

• Arthur's "uh oh" when Lance is doing some casual misogyny

• "That sounded like a friendly exchange of pleasantries"/"It was not"

• No fucks for Genny today

• I wish I could one day know the translation of Genny and Lance's friendly exchange of pleasantries

• "Who would serve as the standard?"/"Oh certainly not me your majesty"/"See no hubris"/"My standards are much too high"/"Dammit Lance"

• "Have you achieved perfection milord?"/"Please say no"/"Of course I haven't your majesty"/"Good"/"Refining the soul is an endless struggle... but physical perfection"/"No"/"Yes"/"Go back to speaking French"

• "And in your quest for spiritual perfection have you considered the value of humility?"/"Ah something we should all consider. In fact let's take two minutes of silence to consider the value of humility."

• The dialouge between the three of them is so funny in this scene

• The ship is sinking and Arthur is just there with a tiny bucket while Lance and Genny keep creating giant new holes

• Genny calling Lance a jackass is both hilarious and also so valid

• "She already has an affectionate nickname for you"

• We have officially reached the beginning of the end, well we had some nice moments

• Like imagine if Pelli didn't start going on about how in love Arthur was with Morgan and then Arthur didn't show up with his new best friend who immediately implied women were too stupid to engage in government

• Genny was having a no fucks day and was probably ready to do a stupid thing and maybe that stupid thing was her husband

• A true tragedy

• "And with humility I"

• Dinadan's line deliveries are so dry and good

• And Genny's laugh

• "And whom will the three of you want to impress?"/"We want to impress the king too."/"Ah yes English men"

• I love the knights, they've all got their own little comedic touches in this song

• Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Genny

• Take Me to the Fair is a masterpiece

• I don't know what constitutes a hot take about this show because there are 5 people talking about it

• But my hot take is that as much as Lusty Month of May is a brilliant and amazing song

• This is actually the Phillipa Soo tour de force

• Her fake crying is so good

• There are so many good flourishes in the singing

• Same thing I feel about I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Phillipa Soo is just enhancing every line with her hilarious delivery

• Also this sound

• Sagramore is always operating at 50% more intensity than the rest of the knights and it's perfect

• Him having to be held back by the other two when Genny sings to him

• It's involuntary at this point that I turn my head back at French during this verse

• His very loud delivery of "I swear to you the challenge will be met"

• "Sirrrr Liiiiionel"/"Ma'am"/"Ugh"

• And when she gives his chest a little slap after "and young du Lac"

• Perfect

• And her laugh-cry at the end of Lionel's part

• Their faces when she touches them are also just very confused and funny, she is not good at this

• I love when the knights are singing together, bringing up Lance really has wrapped them around her finger

Act 1, Scene 5: The King's study - the night before the tournament

• "You know that it's your move right?"/"I did not know that. I'll need to alter my strategy now"

• Honestly so relatable I suck at chess, Pelli is the best

• "If we're to care about justice, we need to care even more about injustice"

• Just a good little Sorkin nugget

• Pelli refusing to understand any of Arthur's ideas, excellent

• "Do I understand that you intend to be history's first king to yield power?"/"Oh now you're catching on"

• I do just love Arthur so much

• And the delivery of "she wrote what you just read"

• He's so pleased to inform Lance that Genny's writing treatises about justice

• Pelli's smug little "it's your move" like that's correct, no one is allowed to not respect women in Arthur's study

• "He's had you in checkmate for an hour and a half"

• Arthur's patience is astounding, Lance should be taking notes while he's perfecting his spirit

• "Would you like to play me or do you ever do anything but perfect your soul?"/"No I also perfect my body"

• Again just perfect deliveries and honestly so much respect to the new book for making Lance even more irritating but eventually more human too

• I am not dragging Lance, this is a compliment

• Just the way Jordan Donica plays it completely straight without being able to detect sarcasm is hilarious

• "The arrangement I'm in is called a marriage, having some fun would be called treason. And finally I hate his breathing guts."

• Setting up the consequences we know are coming with a little joke, I like it

• "Well be sure and give us clear skies tomorrow when you're arranging things with god tonight"

• Savage, I don't like most of the original dialouge but we had a winner with this one

• Her delivery just elevates it

• "No one could refuse your wish"

• The gall of Lance to say that like that in front of Arthur like he is shameless

• "Why do you have to bait the man?"/"I dislike him, I thought I was making that clear"

• Genny is so relatable

• Their first fight and Arthur's already insulting the French, I'm not sure why he thought this was going to go well

• Arthur trying to delicately ask Genny to withdraw her permission from Dinadan

• He's trying to have this conversation as her husband and not her king but Genny is not even having it a little

• Genny explaining that she already gave permission for all the knights is so funny

• I know they're basically the original lines but ya know, sometimes Lerner nailed it

• "It will seem to the entire court as if you are rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."/"The only reason it will seem that way is because I'm rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."

• "He's going to embarass those three. These are not men who take well to embarrassment."

• Like Arthur already knows exactly who his knights are

• He knows that they don't exactly match up to his ideals

• The delivery on "will you withdraw your permission" is also spot on like Arthur is ready to exit this conversation right now

• Also on "if I do will you forgive me"

• Like he knows that's not happening

• "Not as long as I live, no"

• Perfect riff on the original book's line

• Arthur doing some investigating on Genny hating Lance like he knows before she even does

• Ouch

• And then him starting to get frustrated when she's not answering like babies' first fight is not going well

• "Because he needs to be brought down to earth... literally not metaphorically"

• Like she has yet to be wrong

• "Merlyn never taught me how to handle a woman"/"You didn't read the book?"/"There's a book? No I can see from your face that there's not a book. Though maybe in France they would have published something, no I can still see on your face"

• We love a Genny dripping with sarcasm moment

• And Arthur being an idiot nerd

• He's so so stupid

• Another one of my truly favorite lines and deliveries, he is so excited that he completely forgets he's mad at her for a second and then pouting when he realizes

• "If the king wishes me to withdraw my permission, let him so command... nope, then I will bid you goodnight"

• The aggressiveness on her daring him to command her is so much

• Perfect

• I love her nope, a little power play

• Because she knows he won't and he knows he won't and she's happy to remind him of that they both know that and then leave

• His silence is doing so much work too

• Damn this scene is good

• "And before I go to bed as a gesture to Lancelot and to you, I'll pray it's over quickly"/It will be"

• They're so mad, I love it

• "There should be a book"

• Grumbling sullen Arthur is very funny even if How to Handle a Woman is lowkey the worst song

• And Arthur's worst impulse, which the narrative knows because it plays under him talking about vengeance and what he's entitled to later

• Like they do a good job recontextualizing it but it's still not the best

• Just hearing him sing the word threaten is kind of jarring, I cannot even slightly imagine this Arthur even thinking it once

• In my opinion they should've just cut it, I'd gladly take more Sorkin dialouge instead

• I do appreciate the way they scaled back this music in the rest of the show

• Because it's all over the second act of the movie, Arthur and Genny's theme if you will

• Like even during their last conversation

• Because they're not the love story so their theme isn't really a love song

• But then here, they play it under Arthur's worst impulses at the end of act 1 and banish it which is so smart

Act 1, Scene 6: A grandstand - the next day

• The music coming into this scene and when Arthur and Genny show up, again fantastic

• The outright hostility between the knights and Lance, they turned it so far up in this version

• Pushing him down and shit

• I love Athur and Genny showing up and getting to see them actually be king and queen and have their over-the-top outfits and crowns in this and the last act 1 scene because it's so removed from who they are the rest of time

• Arthur's speech at the beginning trying to glorify them not having the tournament and how great losing is and having to be stopped by Genny

• He's trying so hard and his speech is not good

• The fact that she basically tells him to stop and his response is fine like I think he forgets that he's actually in charge

• I love a sword fight

• The movement, the drama, the loud clanging...

• I am but a humble girl raised on the Pirates of the Carribean movies

• Dinadan being a dick before the fight with "and now for your lesson sir"

• The way Lance knocks the sword out of Dinadan's grip and makes him pick it up before defeating him, such an asshole move

• I truly can't tell if Lance has just such a superiority complex that he doesn't realize what parts of his own behavior are making people dislike him or he's just so stuck in his toxic little mindset that he doesn't care if people hate him for it

• I kind of feel like Lance is so into his specific notions of the world that even he doesn't really know why he acts the way he does

• "Dinadan seemed very inspired by your kerchief, should we continue?"

• "You know he almost had him, right up until the moment he never stood a chance"

• Their fight being played out by proxy while Arthur makes snide comments and they give each other looks is good shit

• Sagramore's scream, he's always going so hard

• The fact that Arthur fighting instead of Lionel is new for this

• Genius

• So good

• The dialouge around it is good too

• The temptation to just transcribe the whole thing is so strong

• Commanding Lance to pick back up his sword like damn

• I love seeing this new side of Arthur

• He can and will fight and he's good at it

• "I know what a damn baguette is"

• His little bit to Lance about it just being about morale is very good

• But also he can see what's going on even if Genny can't so is it?

• The fact that he may well have won the fight if it wasn't for a cool bird, what a man

• Fun fact about me, I didn't even see the bird or realize that's why he got distracted until the last time

• He and Genny are like very much not in a good place this moment but he will let it slide to point out a bird

• Arthur's fall is very good

• Can you tell I think this scene is also very good, I've only written it like twelve times

• The fact that they're letting people fight with swords and there isn't a doctor for 12 miles, amazing planning by everyone

• The bit of everyone thinking Arthur was dead and him sarcastically correcting them is amazing 100% of the time

• "He put life back into him" is just consistently hilarious

• "I'm not wanted here Arthur"

• With the most heartbreaking delivery

• Aw we finally see Lance have some shred of being an actual person

Act 1, Scene 7: The castle terrace - on the evening of the same day

• I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight intro-ing into this scene

• "Well you got me there" being screamed is perfect

• Pelli sensing that something is bothering Arthur, their relationship is very sweet

• Pelli describing the way Genny and Lance were looking at each other, what a shit stirer

• "It may be the only way to get him to stay"/"Maybe it's best if you let him go"/"Let him go?"/"Maybe it's best"/"Why is that?"/"Well...You said yourself, morale"

• Like she's trying to protect them but she won't say it

• For obvious reasons

• But it's confirming what Arthur already suspects

• And just drawing them further apart

• Another great her silence is doing so much work moment

• The entire telling Lance he's being invested discussion is so intense

• So much anger simmering in Arthur that can't help but come out in the line deliveries in the beginning

• Genny refusing to engage and turning her back to the whole thing

• "I'm sure he'd like to hear it from another child of France"/"This is my country now"

• Oh boy I love this exchange

• Like she's trying, she's trying so hard

• And I don't know what the fuck Arthur is thinking with that one, in what way could she possibly respond that's not going to be bad for him?

• Arthur leaving them alone like whyyyy

• And then Arthur giving Genny back her bloody kerchief, fuck

• All is very much not forgiven here

• "God dammit Pelli, I wasn't dead"

• Genny making it clear she does not believe Arthur was dead, I appreciate that she's also very clear on the fact that their world is not magical

• I wonder if Lance does think he willed Arthur back to life

• Probably

• "Don't ever say it out loud. Neither of us can ever say it out loud"

• This was another straight up gasping in the theater moment

• The entire conversation between Genny and Lance is so good and tense

• And the delivery on that line just feels like getting punched in the gut

• Phillipa Soo is amazing

• I love that she won't let them say it, that she's fighting it

• And the way she cuts him off, the way she makes him agree to not say it

• This is the intense love she wanted and it doesn't need to be said which is exactly what she needed to feel from Arthur but didn't get

• Also Lance just trying to confess his feelings the first second he can is just such an interesting character choice

• Like the truth is his purity of the soul bluster doesn't hold up to the slightest temptation

• He's ready to betray Arthur the second he leaves the room

• It's all a front

• Not intentionally, like he believes the things he says he believes

• But he can't keep to it

• I think he's so drawn to Arthur because Arthur actually has the qualities he's proclaiming define him

• But I don't even think Lance knows any of this about himself

• At least not until later

• He's just impulsive

• Which is I think what makes him an interesting character to me but also makes his motivations hardest to decipher

• Before I Gaze at You Again is such a stunning song

• And watching Phillipa Soo just emote for the whole time

Act 1, Scene 8: The great hall - on that evening

• All the music that starts this scene is brilliant

• "I'll never disappoint you"/"I know"

• I just...

• Like we the audience know but also the characters sort of all know and they are determined not to let it happen but that only makes it happen anyway

• Ugh those lines are a little nothing but they're everything

• I have the YouTube clips of Richard Burton's version of this and it does just indicate how well they've modernized

• Theater has changed so much so the pacing of 1961 compared to this is kind of fascinating

• This is also actually the writing I think is the best from the original and it is so fascinating to compare the two versions which I'm sure someone has done and I want to read it because there is so much to say

• It's so bold to close act 1 with a speech instead of a song

• I had no context coming in so they had me in the first half, I wasn't sure if this was Arthur's turn into the villain moment

• Once again I'm just like pointing to the whole speech and yelling how good it is

• Whoever decided this belonged on the cast recording is my personal hero

• This is just on my normal spotify playlist and as long as I'm not reading, I will not skip it

• But I love the idea that in the original book Arthur starts out by declaring his love for Genny and Lance and in this version it's like he's actively talking to the audience to defend himself

• To say he's not some stupid optimistic kid, that he sees everything we have

• Comes out swinging

• I can't explain how much "proposition: I am not a befuddled king" shook me, I was ready for shit to go down and I love it as the opener to this

• The pause before "whom they love", the sadness in it

• "And she didn't choose whom she married"

• Like Arthur can never get rid of that guilt

• The push and pull of this entire thing where he will try to make an argument with himself that everything is fine but the bitterness keeps seeping in until there's no rationality left

• Trying not the write out the whole thing but the rhythm of it, the pacing, this performance is spectacular

• The way the audience startles when he starts screaming

• Like he's having his back and forth rational debate with himself and finally we see him lose that control

• And it is the good shit

• I can't explain how much I came in with no context for this show and how much this completely threw me in the best way

• We're finally a glimpse of what's happening inside Arthur's head, to see the way he's been holding so much back from everyone else

• I love that he's still yelling at Merlyn, not exactly sure what I want to read into that, I feel like there are a few lines of thought

• "Am I not entitled to a man's vengence?"

• Perhaps my favorite line in the first half

• Every line is sort of my favorite but I guess let's settle on this one

• Because the original is "I demand a man's vengence"

• And same sentiment but entitled is so much more toxic

• Like the thing about this magic-less universe is that Arthur wasn't destined for some greatness and so he pulled the sword from the stone

• He wasn't owed something, he didn't deserve it, it just happened and he chose to rise to the challenge

• And this is the first moment he's decided he might be entitled to anything

• And then he does a 180 into deserving nothing

• "Proposition: I'm not a man, I'm a king"

• Like wow so much to unpack psychologically there

• I mean he and Lance have very much the same problem of trying to suppress their own humanity but the reasons are so different

• When Arthur switches into his idealistic mode and they start playing I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight because he's being kingly, literally gets me every time

• The entire thing is so good, I love the second half so much

• "I wasn't trained for this"

• I love the running theme of Merlyn training Arthur in all of these important skills but never teaching him how to handle emotions and relationships and uh maybe he should have

• There were perhaps some limits to Merlyn's wisdom that set Arthur up to fail

• Because he's been king since he was barely out of childhood

• He never got the chance to have normal, equal relationships where he could figure shit out

• So instead he just pushes it all down because he's not wrong in that he doesn't get the luxury of following his emotions

• I love every second of this scene

• I love every line, every delivery, every movement

• Like it is a hard ask to make an actor just walking around the stage monologuing compelling in a musical and this is so so compelling

• Just on the whole of this show, I don't know that I've ever been so blown away by a stage performance as I was watching Andrew Burnap and this scene is just a perfect encapsulation of why

• Whatever he's in next, I will go

• Okay real talk something about this man's face just renders it unrecognizable to my brain so more than likely I'll see something and be like wow that person was amazing, who was that and then it will turn out to be him

• I say specifically because I happened to be watching Under the Banner of Heaven the whole time I've been having a Camelot obsession and how did I find out he was in it? I happened to see his name in the end credits four episodes in...

• But anyway I will at least try to know whatever he's in next so I can go on purpose because this performance is living in my brain and I don't think it's leaving

• I do make fun of previous versions of this show for casting people who are clearly not musical theater actors in this role but actually I do think casting actors who do straight plays does add so much as long as they aren't terrible at singing

• All of which to say again that I do think this was some of the most perfect casting I have ever seen

• Basically the statements you can tell Andrew Burnap is not a musicals person and you can absolutely tell Phillipa Soo and Jordan Donica are absolutely musicals people

• Are both extreme compliments to the people that decided on this casting

[eteledhasanaxe]

so help me I will go into the screen myself

someone hug him

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

i know n*gisagi has its fans and while for the longest time I've considered myself neutral towards it, I think I'm realizing that this is the only ship in bllk that truly gives me the ick

which is weird bc platonically, I actually fw it pretty hard. romantically though....

[cat-dragron]

Going from Ancillary Sword into August Kitko and the Mechs from Space is such like... whiplash to my brain. Ancillary Sword was challenging to read in a way I wasn't expecting but man was it rich as hell, the depth of the worlds and characters in that book are insane. Meanwhile reading AKatMfS is like... the premise is so cool and seems right up my alley but something about the writing is just not gelling with me for whatever reason. I want to get through this book so badly because I am interested but like... part of me is just wondering is this it?? Is this all there is to it?

[wardroom-305]

why am i surprised that i feel so wonderful when someone validates the thing i spent my entire life building a false identity on

[neverendingford]

.