#i don't have time to go more in depth than this right now and map out everything but i have many thoughts

[t-u-i-t-c]

Hello ! Hope you are having a good day !😊

What are your thoughts regarding the 3rd lap of boonboomger? The poster definitely increases the suspense for the upcoming episodes ✨️

I don’t really have enough information to really speculate on anything or have a specific idea of what they’re going to do with the 3rd Lap, but I do have some thoughts regarding Genba so far. 

Rambling under the cut

I really feel the need to preface this by saying that I think the past, memories, and gradual growth are really important within the narrative that BoonBoomger has been painting so far. In episode 24, we’re told that Taiya was gathering colorful people who have gradually brightened him up and allowed him to open up. When he was a child Taiya was the type to not mind games with others, but really found more appeal in working on his own and working on cars, something we know he still enjoys. He also likes music as we can see when he plays guitar and he has multiple guitars safely stored within his home, which you can see in episode 21. This is to say that I feel like this is important for Genba’s character. It is heavily implied in the episode blogs and even a little in the series that Taiya has known Genba longer than Ishiro or Bundorio. Normally these things might not hold significance, but seeing as how memories have held such significance in Taiya’s relationships and with Sakito’s decisions in the 2nd Lap, I don’t think it’s a stretch to think that it’s important for Genba as well.

Being that Genba is like a second member to join the team, though Bundorio is a part of the team he’s not a ranger so we’ll overlook him for the moment, and Taiya’s gradually been gathering his group of colorful people. I find it significant that Genba was an early choice. If we look back, it was pretty clear that while Genba didn’t want to fight Taiya had asked him about fighting prior to giving him his Change Axe. Genba had always been a part of the team, Taiya had already given him a Changer and given him the opportunity, but was letting Genba sit on the idea until the time came where Taiya knew Genba would be more interested in shifting roles. He does state that Genba’s Change Axe was tailor-made for him when he gives it to him and they discuss this having been a discussion they’ve had before in episode 7.

When Genba officially becomes Bun Orange he says that he has a reason for fighting, but when asked about it by Taiya he says that it’s a secret for now. I don’t know if this is relevant for what could occur in the 3rd Lap, but it’s something I think about a lot. 

Genba likes seeing people passionate and serious about but is still discovering what he’s serious about. I feel like he knows the things he likes and enjoys helping people, especially through procurement, but he has difficulty defining himself and focusing solely on himself. He’s creative and imaginative with an interesting sense of humor and will whip out little words of wisdom and even sometimes talks to the audience, though it’s not clear if he’s talking to the audience or if this is just something he does, like when someone just talks to themself. This talking to the audience may also not have any significance though, as it is a common gag. Genba’s just really showing us shreds of himself gradually, but these things aren’t really personal. Genba doesn’t really ever get personal like the others do, which is why it is significant when he does open a bit to Mira about his interest in learning what he can be serious about. I think Taiya and Genba may be alike in this way, though Taiya is more willing to share he has to be provoked a bit to fully open up and has gradually become easier to talk to about personal things although he still holds back. Ever since the defeat of Madrex, Taiya has been able to express more open interest in the others but also be a bit more open about himself. I think his difficulty with this still shows however, as he can’t really talk about things directly without others being direct themselves. This is shown when he can’t really talk to Bundorio about his previous dreams because he asks in a way that’s a bit confusing and out of nowhere from Taiya’s perspective. He’s also still not used to the affection he gets from the others, as he still feels a bit awkward about hugs and things. Even in episode 1 Taiya was said to not give Bundorio’s food many compliments along with Taiya. This is all to say that there’s a sense of Taiya slowly opening up more and more with each person and each person brings more light to his life and contrasts more with him. Mira and Jou hold such significance because they’re outgoing and very affectionate, willing to help without any strings attached and finding the good in people. 

So basically what I’m getting at is that Genba is kind of a mix of the closed-off nature of Taiya and Ishiro and the fun loving nature of Mira and Jou. He creates a balance in a way. I think Sakito joining the team had an affect on this balance though, as Sakito is another more open person but still finding his place. He's different from Genba, and Genba doesn't oppose him working with the team, even admiring his tactics to get paid, but there is a slight shift. Genba has seemed to get gradually more concerned in his expressions lately, as the fight continues to escalate, and in the preview for episode 26 he seems to be concerned/angered.

I think there’s a lot to consider with this but I also don’t know if I should take his ability to get his hands on information into consideration, like I don’t know if he might have information that we’re just not privy to at the moment or not. Also the next episode shows the return of the Toilet Grumer, whose water made people be honest/drop facades and this could be significant.

I do have more thoughts and I am still organizing everyone's information, but I'll keep it at this for now.

[sourle]

may i request with tje story thingy where the reader is hated so bad with: builderman actually needing ur abilities to keep the whole group safe and functionable (prolly a temp speed boost when the reader is nearby) and tries to keep you alive(mostly shedletsky) , but the reader lowkey gave up on trying tk stay alive so they just let the killer get to them first

Acquaintance

My compass is curiosity

WARNINGS: none

Note: its not exactly giving up, more so someone fumbled badly—

You tapped the generator after you closed the lid, watching as it sprung into life making the area a bit brighter from the neon green line on the front of it. One generator down, 2 left to go!

You hope the others are at the remaining generator fixing it to keep the cabin safe. Protected from the depth of the forest around it. You got up and stretched your body, hearing a few pops from your back. Probably from how long you've been crouching on the same generator. Seriously, these things got more and more hard to finish each round. You do wonder why that is.

You've heard Builderman and Shedletsky talk about it, they talk about how the generator went from just clicking buttons to connecting wires. You didn't know it used to be just clicking buttons. Maybe that's because you came after the initial changes. Yeah.

"I wonder where the others are.." you muttered, walking out from the underground place. You groaned as you almost slipped off the dirt steps but managed to catch your balance by flailings your arms.

Ugh I hate this new map.

The ambient sound of the map was eerie, and each step you take seems to be on beat with the thumping from across the map. You wonder who's the killer this time, you haven't seen it for half of the round.

You kept on walking past the disarray that's once a glorious place. As you rounded a corner a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you, you gasped and punched the person from shock.

A pained groan emits from beside you and it's.. Elliot?

"Shhh the killer is near," you stare at him like he's a different person, not once have you seen him do this. You started to think he's an imposter.

Elliot groans to your shocked and offended face, "Builderman needs your help,"

You blinked, once. Twice. What?

"Builderman needs my help????" "Yes, now come on—"

You watch as he walks, sticking on the side and behind walls. You just followed still confused.

The two of you arrived at the corner of the middle, you don't know how to describe it, but the place is elevated.

There's a working generator against the wall and the opposite of it is a dispenser, Builderman sat next to it with Chance.

Once the two notice both of you Chance instantly greets, "Eyy Pizza man! And isn't it the crayon user themselves!" Chance gives you a salute before flipping his coins landing on head.

"Hi Chance... And uhh—" "I need your help,"

You stare at Builderman from his bluntness. Straight to the point, i guess?

Builderman explained his plans, since your passive gives them slight speed they need you to stay near the sentinels, and right now they're struggling with John doe.

You stepped out from behind the wall, peeking to see the rest of the survivors. You watch as Guest and Two time followed John doe from behind whilst Shedletsky is being chased by it.

Shedletsky groaned, gripping his scarred arm as he ran, his stamina was almost gone. You quickly run up to him, it is a risk run alongside someone being chased, but due to your passive Shedletsky gets a lot quicker to flee and hide. Leaving you behind to run on your own.

You can't complain when your stamina is 10 more than the killers, making it easier for you to distract. You ran for as long as you could, juking and avoiding all of John doe's attack. Your body slowly wears itself down, your legs muscles spasm from the force pressure as you kept on going.

You can't hold him longer yet you're hopeful you can due to the timer. There's 10 seconds, you can do it.

You're hoping the sentinels come out and help you and your wish was granted as the others appeared, you scream in joy but he misses his sword.

0:03

Welp you might as well pray in hope it's quick painless as John doe grabbed the back of your clothes and stabbed you with his corrupted arm.

0:33

You woke up from the couch, hearing a thud from the dining room. You shifted a bit, sitting up before groaning. You glance to the side at Taph before at the doorway that leads to the dining room and saw Shedletsky walks out.

You two locked eyed, he stammered out an apology of not being able to help you before Chance pushed him aside and practically jumped dive towards you and Taph.

Note: Taph woke up w a concussion from it.

[goatskickin]

hi goat! do you have any tips/ideas on making 4t2 items look less plasticky? would new textures work or is it maybe something with the shading? or maybe it's the rounded edges on everything....

hi anon! I know you sent this a while ago. Thanks for waiting. I do indeed sometimes retexture TS4 converted objects.

I am no expert! But! Here's what I usually do:

For this tutorial, I will be using @janika31's 4t2 conversion of the Siten-Ze Reclaimed Wood Sofa.

It has the rounded edges you speak of (typical of TS4 objects) and a texture that could be considered 'plasticky' too.

What you will need to do first is open SimPE. We need to be able to look at this mesh nice and close!

When the mesh is opened in SimPE, go to the 1. Geometric Data Container and click on it 2. find the main object in the Models list (sofa) and make sure it's checked 3. Export the object.

You'll need to load said object into a 3D Modeling program in order to look at it.

I like UVMapper, because it's free (well the free version is anyway lol) and it's very easy to use.

While you're in SimPE, extract a texture or two from the original object. You will need them. Light or white recolors will be useful.

With the object loaded into UVMapper, this is what it looks like!

UV map of the object on the left, object (with no texture) on the right.

Add the texture in.

UVMapper is going to be our main working area. Other than an image editing program like Photoshop or Gimp. You'll need that too.

Let's get a good look at this base texture - we can see it has the wood parts of the couch, the main couch texture and some pillows.

If you find UV maps helpful (I do!) you can extract one from your 3D program.

With UVMapper, I needed to make sure that I've specified the size of the image so the UV map will match. This texture is 512 x 1024.

Now for the fun part! You should be able to copy in the base texture as a new layer, and then delete everything that is not the wood part on the UV map.

I've actually missed the foot of the couch here, but I will fix it.

If you're not already working with a white texture, make one. I like to use @pooklet's Primer and Time Bomb for this.

This white texture is very important as it will serve as the shadow and highlight that the new wood texture will be sandwiched in between.

With the new white texture created, when loaded into UVMapper and displayed on our couch, it looks like this. ^

This rounded edge here, this is a problem area!

With retexturing clay hairs, we want a rounded or 'bumped out' part of the mesh to be highlighted, to give the illusion of shine on hair.

But in objects, especially wood ones that we'd prefer to not look like plastic, we want the opposite effect; this shine should be reduced.

This is pretty easy to remedy in your image editor! But first:

Remember how I talked about how the white base texture was going to sandwich the wood texture? Here's what that means (layers):

1 The white base texture, Normal, 100% opacity

2 Our wood texture. This is something lifted from a Maxis endtable?

3 The white base texture, Multiply, 100% opacity

4 The white base texture, Overlay, 22% opacity

5 The white base texture, Soft Light, 22% opacity*

Optional layers: 1) another white base texture, Multiply, 100% opacity if this is a dark recolor, as it will add more depth 2) the base texture, but in an orange or yellowy color Multiply, 100% opacity (when this is added, it will help when a warm recolor looks too ashy)

*these percentages of how opaque the layer is are arbitrary. They work for me, do what works for you.

Okay! Back to the 'problem area'

This highlight here ^ on the rounded arm of the couch; if you don't want it, here is what I would do:

Locate where that highlight is in the texture. Found it!

Here's how to REDUCE that shine:

1 Locate your base white wood texture layer, Normal opacity.

Notice how the whiter part of this texture, when layered as I've described (Multiply 100%, Overlay 22%, Soft Light 22%) translates as shiny when it's laid on an object.

The way to make that appear less shiny is to make it less white. Less white means less of that shine that can read as artificial aka plasticky. When you make that more grey than white, more of the background wood can show through the semi-transparent layers.

2 Take that noticeably white part of the base texture and make it grey! Copy a chunk of the greyer texture, paste it on, blend in or erase the edges to make it look smooth. Merge the layer.

3 Change your Normal white base layer (now edited to be greyer in that one specific spot) and copy that as 3 new layers: Multiply 100%, Overlay 22%, Soft Light 22%. With the wood texture underneath all of them. Base, wood, Multiply, Overlay, Soft Light, in that order.

Before...

...after! it's subtle okay

The same kind of sandwiching method with image layers can apply to the cushions too.

There! A method for retexturing TS4 conversions that helps them not be as plastic looking. 😊

One last tip before you go off and try retexturing conversions yourself: @pforestsims's Easy Shine Removal kit for SimPe. A must if you're looking maintain that matte look.

Let me know if you have any questions!

[shadowsingcalore]

Kind of adjacent to a post I saw earlier and I think this is similar to a point the OP was trying to make but moreso I want to make.

I hate how much people can at times act like Azriel's romantic potential starts and ends with Elain. I get having a bad taste in your mouth after the BC since he was using unhealthy coping mechanisms. But Elain is also avoiding the reality of her mating bond, and I've personally always interpreted Azriel and Elain to have the same depth of feelings.

I believe they're both using each other.

I don't really think Azriel hurting Elain in that moment or using his attraction to her as an unhealthy coping mechanism is really that much of an indictment on his character. I also don't believe that Azriel would become a "player" or "scummy" for projecting whatever lingering feelings he has towards Mor and the idea that they would be mates onto Elain now only to end up with Gwyn in the end. Especially if we don't know if Elain is doing the exact same thing he is, consciously or unconsciously. And even if it was that deep or if Elain harbors hurt or resentment, characters hurt their love interests all the time, even when they don't end up together. (Chaol, Nesryn, & Aelin being immediate examples that come to mind).

So I don't really feel like it's fair to center Elain and their BC interaction in how Azriel is characterized around romance as a whole when we have books worth of him pining over Mor from a distance.

We have him volunteering to go dancing with Mor (something we learn he later does enjoy all on his own in the HOFAS BC). We have him acting on the desire to protect her despite laying on the floor bleeding out before Hybern, for example.

And even his platonic interactions show his kindness and overall thoughtfulness, particularly with Feyre, Nesta, and Gwyn. But I want to showcase the moment that, in hindsight, made me love Azriel as much as I do:

“I don’t really know where I fit in anymore,” I admitted, perhaps only because the wind was screeching around us and Rhys had already winnowed ahead to where Cassian’s dark form flew—beyond the wall. “I’ve been alive almost five and a half centuries, and I’m not sure of that, either,” Azriel said.

This line didn't initially stand out to me at first until we get into ACOFAS, where Rhys says this about Azriel:

Azriel studied the map for a long minute. I gave him the silence, knowing that he’d speak only when he was damn well ready. As boys, Cassian and I had devoted hours to pummeling Az, trying to get him to speak. He’d never once yielded.

To me, this categorizes Azriel as a character that is never kind out of obligation or expectation, but simply kind and thoughtful out of the conscious choice to be this way. He chooses when to speak, when to take action.

Does that mean he's without flaw or that people are always going to like him? No, absolutely not. No character is going to be universally loved. And I understand that favoring characters has so much to do with personal preference on top of it, which is never truly going to be "right" or "wrong".

My post isn't really to try and convince people to like Azriel, it's more to acknolwedge that Elain is but one brief aspect to his overall character's romantic (and subsequently healing) arc and shouldn't be the only lense through which we view him. Azriel has been alive for over 500 years, and Elain has only been in his presence for two of those years. Mor has been around for all of them.

I think it's more prescient to view Azriel's romantic potential through more than just the lense of how he interacted with Elain.

[thestarkinternship]

Whenever, Wherever

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader: One Shot (Angst)

Summary: As Bucky's nightmares about his time as The Winter Soldier continue to plague him, there is only one person who can help him through it.

Word Count: 2.5k (No mention of Y/N)

Warnings: mention of graphic violence (we know what happened to Maria and Howard), angsty! Bucky

A/N: This is loosely inspired by the chorus of the song 'Whenever, Wherever'. I don't know, I just thought it made a good writing prompt.

Masterlist

-

“Ready to comply."

James' metal hand flexed around the accelerator of the motorcycle, giving it a tight squeeze. Its shiny edges glinted under the light of the full moon. His body moulded into the supple, leather seat like it was made for him. Still his rigid body refused to relax. The powerful engine revved as the bike shuddered to life beneath him, gearing up to go. Gas gurgled out from the exhaust, cutting through the thick silence of the quiet evening.  One swift kick up on the safety bar and the bike was now fully under his strong control.  Releasing the clutch, he sped off into the distant night.

Weaving through the inner-city traffic was effortless for him, the numbered streets mapped out in his mind. Standstill cars hummed patiently for the lazy traffic lights to turn green, but James didn't have time for that. Cutting through the backstreets of Washington, he quickened his pace. A light breeze swept his mass of dark hair back, exposing the heavy mask tightly secured across the lower half of his face. Each passing block was filled with clueless individuals too wrapped up in their own business to notice the mysterious stranger.  The city was simply a colourful blur to James as he made his way towards the outskirts of town. Skyscrapers and apartment buildings faded into quiet suburban homes. Soon enough, the buzz of the city was long forgotten, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

James' mission was clear: retrieve the new variant of the serum. Leave no witnesses. The orders burned deep into the depths of The Winter Soldier's mind. He could think of little else as he continued on track towards his target.

The glow from the city lights faded until only the bike's headlights remained. Heavy trees hung overhead, closing in on James as they cast out the moonlight. His wheels crunched over the gravel of the barren, country path. Dirt spat out behind the tyres, leaving murky clouds that hovered in the air behind him. It was a foggy view for anyone who might be watching him.

He wasn’t far off now – his target had only a mere half an hour head start. His grip on the accelerator hardened, propelling him further into the night. The motorcycle's rumble grew until it was all James could hear.

And there it was. Just a few hundred yards ahead of him was the unmistakable red burn of a car's rear lights. It couldn't have been going more than 20mph.

Now was his time.

James made a sharp right turn, barrelling himself down into the woodland surroundings. He drove down the steep bank until he was concealed from the view of the main path. The tyres bounced across the rough earth, shaking him in his seat. His thighs squeezed against the warm bike, maintaining his grip. Gently steering around the thick tree trunks ahead of him, he slowly edged the bike forwards across the rugged ground against its will. He was parallel with the target now, but it wasn't enough. James' right knuckles bared white as his desperation to overtake them grew. Glancing down at the speedometer in front of him, his jaw hardened. He could do better than that.

Just a little more.

He didn't let up until he could no longer hear the target car's engine behind him and he was alone again. Veering upwards, the bike strained under James' demanding grasp. As he reached the edge of the treeline, James finally allowed the bike some refuge as he came to a halt. He slid the heavy bike to the pine needle floor with a soft thud. James paced forwards until he got to the road clearing. Concealing himself in the shrubs outlining the road, he froze in a poised crouch.

The Winter Soldier took a deep breath and cleared his mind. He listened out for the low hums of the fast-approaching car. At first, there was nothing but the leaves as they scratched against each other in the breeze. Exhaling, James closed his eyes and allowed his heightened senses to search his surroundings.

A delicate bird song. An owl crooned overhead. The scuttle of a wood mouse, burrowing deep into the ground. And then pounding gravel.

He could just about make out the constant switch between the gas pedal and squeaking brakes as the car grew nearer.  Allowing his eyes to open, he saw long shadows form behind the trees. They stretched tall in all directions, ghostly branches curling their wicked fingers that beckoned the car forwards in his direction. The dim headlights finally broke out into the clearing ahead. James counted the passing seconds as he waited for the target to finally be in his reach.

One. Two. Three.

Springing forwards, James swiped his left arm out at the closest front tyre. A putrid, burning scent filled the air as the titanium arm sliced through the soft rubber. Vibrations rooted through the metal and spread up all the way to his shoulder. Rolling it back, he straightened himself back out. Screeching pierced his ears whilst the car rolled out of control. Tyre marks dug deep into the soft dirt as it lost its grip on the road. His eyes narrowed as the bonnet wrapped its way around a nearby tree. It finally came to a halt. A warbling alarm faded into silence, too destroyed to cry out for help. The dented metal sprang free as smoke erupted into dark clouds above him. It billowed out in the wind, travelling back towards the city James had left behind long ago.

As he approached the wreckage, he finally got a clear view of the two witnesses. A man and a woman. She was slumped back in the passenger seat, sticky blood trickling down her pale face. The seatbelt had imprinted on her fair skin, leaving a deep, maroon mark. Her shoulders were slung back into the leather, struggling to lift with each faltering breath.

The man was a different story. He convulsed as he struggled in the compressed front end of the vehicle. His hands flapped at the seatbelt as it welded itself into the trapped buckle. Rocking back and forth, his feeble attempts at escape were short lived.

Tucked away on the backseat, a shiny briefcase laid unharmed. The Winter Soldier's glare darted back and forth between that and his own reflection the window. His eyes were dark pools, his pupils dilated with greed as he locked onto the prized serum. Hard grooves across his forehead dipped down into furrowed brows. Sweat silently dripped down past his mask and onto the floor.

He watched as his metal arm flexed in the window, before colliding with the reinforced glass.  Tiny shards shattered out in every possible direction. They littered the floor and turned to dust under James' heavy steps. Cracks splintered through the pieces still clinging onto the window frame. With the barrier gone, he was brought face to face with his witnesses.

Howard Stark's pleading eyes flickered between James and his dying wife. His face softened at the sight of this shadowed stranger who just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Someone had come to save them.

"Help... my wife." His deep voice choked.

The Winter Soldier stayed silent, the only noise from the witnesses’ exasperated breaths. Howard dipped his head level to the window to get a better look at his saviour.

The hope in his voice was soon replaced by dread as he finally recognised the man standing before him. "Sergeant Barnes?"

There was no more time for games. James curled his metal fingers into a tight fist. Built up rage flowing through the titanium as he brought his heavy arm down on Howard's face.

Bucky jolted up in the darkness. It engulfed him like an endless void. Robbed of his sight, Bucky had never felt as lost as he did in that second. His heart pounded with each rapid breath, fighting to get out of his bare chest. The heavy exhales filled the quiet room. Around his neck, the wartime dog tags tinkered against each other, leaving a ringing in his ears. The chain rubbed against the back of his neck. The metal links melted into his skin with his body heat, and small beads of sweat slid down the cool metal before dropping onto the surface around him. He grasped out in the darkness, feeling nothing but fistfuls of clammy bedsheets. The cotton material swaddling his body reminded him of where he truly was. He was at home. He was safe. The nightmare was over, but disturbing images still lingered in the stiff, summer air of the hot bedroom. 

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Bucky began to make out shadowed shapes in the room surrounding him. He spared a glance at your sleeping body next to him. Wrapped up in the soft sheets, you looked so peaceful letting out faint snores as you slept blissfully unaware of Bucky's late-night turmoil. Leaning down, he planted a soft kiss on your head. Murmuring softly, you rolled over but thankfully didn't stir.

Gripping the mattress with shaky hands, he planted unstable legs on the wooden floor. Bucky inched himself off of the bed as not to disturb you. Pacing across the room to the window, he carefully wedged it open. Bucky clutched onto the window ledge, his fingertips tracing over the soft grooves in the woodwork. He focused on the patterns whilst his harsh breaths struggled to return to their normal rhythm.  A midnight breeze blew into the room, tickling along his hardened jawline until his red face cooled. The streetlamps flooded the bedroom. Distant sirens and soft chatter drifted in from the busy Brooklyn streets down below, bringing Bucky completely back to reality as relief washed over him.  

"Bucky? Are you awake?" Your tiny voice whispered out of nowhere.

He rocked on his heels to face you. Your delicate features were lit up by a sliver of moonlight that streamed in from the open blinds. Even in the low lighting, Bucky could see how your sleepy expression distorted into one of concern from the moment he turned around.

"I'm fine. I was just a little warm. I wanted some fresh air." He sighed.

Bucky steadied his agitated body. The floorboards creaked under the heavy weight of his body and mind as he made his way back towards your bed. He clambered under the sheets, sliding his body next to yours

"Are you okay? You feel flushed," worry settled in your voice as you pressed a small hand against his chest, "your heart's beating like crazy."

Bucky let out a sigh.

"You had another nightmare." You stated, rather than questioning.

"He was back. The Winter Soldier. I was him again." He whispered.

You turned until you were face to face. Reaching out in the darkness, you pulled him in close until his face was buried in the crook of your shoulder. Bucky's arms fell limp in your lap as he just allowed you to hold him.

Your round eyes drooped with sympathy. "You know you don't have to keep anything from me. I'm always going to be here for you, Buck."

Salty tears collected in his tired eyes before silently glided down his face. His body went rigid in an attempt to mask his feelings. Bucky pressed his face harder into your mass of tangles, breathing in the light scent of shampoo. His shoulders jerked with every fallen tear. He always hated it when you saw him like this.

Sitting up in the bed, you cradled Bucky's contorted face in your palms. His bottom lip quivered as he was unable to supress his upset any longer. The tears broke out into continuous stream down his face. You wiped a thumb across the bags under his eyes that had accumulated from too many similar sleepless nights, sweeping away his tears.

"Oh, Bucky," you crooned, wrapping your arms around his shaking body, "talk to me about it."

"It was the night I killed Tony's parents." His voice cracked, muffling against your shoulder.

"What happened?"

"I was trying to get the Super Soldier serum. I was back on my old motorcycle, tracking them down. God, it felt so real. I could feel Howard's skull beneath my hand. It broke under my fist. His head cracked open and there was so much blood. I couldn't get it off of me. It was trapped in the hollows of vibranium in my arm. I swear, I could feel it seeping into my body. I still can." Bucky cried.

Tongue clicking, your kind heart broke for him. Rubbing a hand up and down his back, you allowed him to weep until there were no more tears left for him to cry. Bucky's sobs eventually faded into muffled sniffles.

"That wasn't you," you reassured, "you're not that person anymore."

"I can't escape him. The Winter Soldier - he's always going to be there." Bucky exasperated.

"He took up a big part of your life," you murmured softly, "he won't disappear from you straight away, you know that right? I can't pretend to understand what you went through in those times, but I'm always going to do my best. I'm always here to listen and support you as much as I possibly can."

Bucky's face fell and he confided in his love. "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm pushing you away. You shouldn't have to do this for me, and it makes me feel guilty."

Gently, you tilted his chin up to look into his scared eyes. "Do you remember those vows we made two years ago?"

"For better or for worse." He recalled. Like he could ever forget the happiest day of his life.

"Exactly. For better or for worse. That includes your past as The Winter Soldier. No matter how long ago it happened, these feelings are bound to surface, and we've just got to work through them when they do. It'll take time, but what's time to a 107-year-old super soldier?"

Bucky's dry lips curled up into a small smile for the first time since he'd awoken. You always knew exactly what to say to cheer him up, even in the worst of times.

“I love you." He breathed.

"I love you too," you leant back into the mattress on your side, opening your arms to him, "now, come here."

Bucky obliged, pulling the warm duvet around you both. You hooked an arm under his neck, draping the other over his side in a tight embrace. Your fingertips traced the raised lettering of his silver dog tags whilst you spooned his worn-out body. Running your other hand through the soft peaks of his hair, you uncombed the knots that had gathered with his constant tossing and turning. Bucky lulled in the comfort of your soothing movements, finding peace with the gentle motion. His breathing slowed as he finally succumbed to sleep. This time was much more pleasant than the last. You lazily peppered small kisses along the back of his shoulder and neck, until your lips hovered around his ear.

"Everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." You whispered.

"Whenever?" He mumbled.

"Wherever. We're meant to be together." You affirmed. "I'll be there."

"You'll be near?" Bucky begged.

"That's our deal, my dear."

[ringleaderising]

Crowd Control || Lore Drop

Two crews cross paths in an attempt to hunt the INTERLOPER's fall.

"You got a lot of demands for a woman who told me the last time we ain't huntin' together anymore, you know."

"And you have a lot of nerve acting like that's not something we have in common- being demanding. Now shut up and crouch down." Pig rolls a single glowing red eye, Sow settled behind a dead tree she'd clearly overturned recently, if the ripped up surface of the ground nearby is any indication. "I was almost expecting Hymn not to tell you to meet me."

"Why, 'cause you decided the Fall was more important than my home? Nah, can't hold that against you, can I? Just the only place that bothered t' give me any sort a' shelter the past few decades- s'fine, it can be ripped offa the map by a ravenous horde- I'll find a different group a' freaks willin' to overlook my nature, I'm sure it exists." Pig's sarcasm is cutting, and as he unloads equipment nearby and examines his cleaver, Sow sighs.

"I didn't-"

"I know what ya did. I know what ya said. Pig first, evac second. I know you ain't got a lot of love in ya for the Gods- but the sideshow ain't got no gods in it nowhere. Just my friends. Just Runt's friends. I didn't come out here 'cause you made a particularly appealin' case about it, or even because I want to chase a fall this close to the one we trained the girls on- I'm here because there's folk who can't fight for themselves in that circus. And there ain't no honor in baseless slaughter." He casts a glance over his shoulder. "And I don't need ya to think I'm doin' the right thing, but I do need ya to respect that I'm doin' it anyway."

Sow sits silently, watching Pig work and the fins at her cheeks flattening beneath the hood of her cloak- guilty. "You would have been here anyway, then, even if we all returned to sound the alarm- Carousel and Hymn had it covered, this way-"

"Drop it. Where's Dethrone, Ain't that shitheel bird supposed to be running your recon?"

"He is. In Earth-"

"Looking for Stygian."

"I told you I was going to help him."

"Suppose ya did." He wrenches the handle of his cleaver up, checking the installed vials with a frown before locking it back into place again. "But that means we don't have a fucking Torchbearer."

"Can you ask Pierrot?"

"No. I told him t' stick with the circus, if they need fire-support, I'd rather he be the one providing it."

Sow shakes her head, moving to her feet before whistling sharply. It takes a moment, but eventually a ridgespine streak appears, a thin band of godsbone around its ankle. "Wail, I need you to go to the marketplace- find Dethrone, bring him here." She insists, the bird squawking once and vanishing over the horizon mere moments later.

"Is she going to be able to cover that distance in-"

"Two days? Maybe. But Dethrone's in the Marketplace- if she finds him maybe-"

"You're bettin' the farm on backup from all the way in Earth?"

"Closer than most of our other options, Pig, we don't have time for coordination, we have two days before this hits the circus." Pig finally looks out over the ridge- to the swarm below.

It looks like hundreds of Wildclaws, each one glowing with a strange blue light and clad in thick carbon plating with singular, thin blades in place of wings, the remaining flesh blanched white and patterned with crawling circuitry. They screech and bicker in a single metallic voice, tearing up fleshy earth with claws and teeth in the pursuit of... something. Each head lifts, gulping with a notable desperation before quickly burying their faces in the ground once more- and every so often, one produces something from the depths- bone, a pearl, a scrap of flesh- something belonging to a dragon- something-

"They're trying to eat enough magic t' stave off their fall. They're-"

"A wandering extinction event, if they hit anything populated." Sow confirms, sighing softly. "And there's two of us."

"I don't think I'm particularly fond a' them odds." Pig mutters, shaking his head.

"What if you double 'em?" Both guardians turn, cleavers drawn, at the sound of a voice over their shoulders. "If I wanted to sneak up on you I definitely wouldn't have said something- In fact I wouldn't have come up the ridge at all." It's a wildclaw, clad in black and balanced on a single silvery prosthetic strobing steadily with pale red light, he's clearly not a member of the cyan-lit pack just below- a thronebreaker, though, that much is clear.

"Oh great. It's one a' them freaks from out in Lightning."

"I have a name? It's on my jacket it's right he-" The smaller dragon protests. "You know what- that doesn't matter- look- you don't really have the time to distrust me on this- I can help you, you just have to agree to give me a hand here- an unpaid intern hand."

"You're right on one thing, we don't trust you." Sow mutters, not moving her grip from her cleaver. "Especially not when I know that symbol on your jacket, and it's never been anything good."

"Hope Adder Enterprises promises any and all distaste for their activities can be brought up with HR at your most timely opportunities. But we don't have an HR department anymore, on account of the Cataclysm, so-"

"I'm going to kill him just so I don't have t' listen to him yammering anymore." Pig observes, stepping forward and hefting his weapon- the wildclaw flickering like the damage on a VHS tape before appearing just slightly further out of reach. "What the-"

"Again! not a lot of time to go into detail about any of this- but look- I need the data those drones are carrying, or they're going to fire me and I've got so many loans to pay off, alright? So I need this job, and I'll be honest I give you two a solid 3% chance, going into that swarm alone." He holds his hands up hesitantly. "My name is Bast, and before that thing down there was a god it was a company asset, alright? I can help you, I know how it works."

"... You're still pretty fuckin' small." Sow observes, Pig's affect on her voice for a moment. "The plan is crowd control, and you're pretty crowd sized."

"I didn't come out here alone." the Wildclaw- Bast insists. "MIND, Combat assessment confirmed- High Threat Protocol." The crane contraption perched atop his shoulder stirs to life, eyes glowing a pale and unearthly blue- blinking faintly as it summons... something from seemingly nowhere. A crack splits in the air not unlike those that accompany a godfall, and Pig bares his teeth- only for the expression to fall as something somewhat... familiar, spills from within.

"...Pig isn't that the Guardian who mulched you while we were chasing Encore."

"She didn't mulch shit. Caught me off guard and-"

"Argument determined false. I proved more physically capable than Entity: Pig in hand-to-hand combat. Solution returned: Mulched." Pig scowls, chest puffing and wings unfurling from his back before folding again. "We are fighting on the same side, now."

"Keep your bot far the fuck away from me, tiny." Pig grunts, walking to the ridge to look at INTERLOPER below.

"She's not- Forget it. MIND, I need eyes on the ground."

"Seeking uplink with Entity: INTERLOPER." The newcomer replies. She's massive, the frame of a guardian in a state not unlike what she's been seemingly summoned to hunt, a body run with cables and tubing carrying bright blue magic through flesh and bone, bare skull replaced at the broken front with a thick steel snout and trailing fabric hanging around her body not unlike the garb worn by Sow to endure the harsher environments of Plague. "Uplink failed. Entity: INTERLOPER now separated from H.A.E. control."

"Shit."

"That sounds confident." Sow sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "What does any of that mean?"

"It means I'm going to have to do a lot more for minimum wage."

[swannieluv]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜ Wasted youth.

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Platonic!Ajax x GN!Reader

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 11k

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: violence, blood, death.

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐀/𝐍: IT'S FINALLY HERE! I hope everyone can enjoy this <3

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩. 𝐛𝐲 Tempo Perdido - Legião Urbana

✦⸼࣪⸳ likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! <3

Snezhnaya is not exactly a friendly nation. The cold that seems to run from the veins to the depths of people's innermost being brings with it a certain hostility towards those who don't know the heart of the land. But within Ajax's distorted childhood perception, Snezhnaya was like a gentle mother, protecting its children under icy embrace.

But then, why did such a loving land allow its own child to fall into the deepest depths of the Abyss? Like drowning in freezing water, a child who survived Teyvat's darkest and loneliest place would certainly not come out of it the same as he went in.

"Ajax" was still Ajax, wasn't he? The same child, named after a hero from ancient tales, full of compassion and empathy, now carried with him a gaze that was deader than the fish he caught on ice.

Joining the Fatui wasn't in his plans for the future; being one of them wasn't so bad, although he wasn't expecting much for the future. But what he didn't like was being the youngest in the unit, it was a complete humiliation.

Not that the seniors were a challenge for him, but being constantly underestimated was... infuriating, to say the least. While his strength was admirable — thanks to Skirk, he would thank her someday — Ajax felt constantly bored, with no meaningful challenge ahead of him.

"Redhead!" The call was accompanied by a snowball, which hit him square in the face; his moment of peace was interrupted, though it didn't really matter.

Ajax could only sigh before letting out a soundless laugh, knowing exactly who had hit him: [Name], a recruit not much older than him, maybe a year or so. Being under the same division, it wasn't unusual to bump into them. "Here it comes..."

They weren't exactly friends, more like acquaintances. However, they also kept in touch enough to be just "acquaintances". Never friends, perhaps not at all.

As if he had some kind of radar, [Name] always appeared whenever Ajax had his rare moment of philosophical thought of questionable quality. Usually to disrupt the whole process.

" Damn, looks like you really found me," he laughed, turning to look at them.

"That's the third time I've had to look for you this week," they complained, carefully preparing another snowball to throw at him. "I always get scolded because of you, you know that?"

They weren't exactly wrong. Whenever Ajax wandered off the map, it was [Name] who had to look for him in the frozen woods. Not that they really bothered to do it, but it was tiring going around in circles until they found him.

"Look at it as part of your job."

"Babysitting...?"

"No, looking after your companions."

"... How idiotic."

"How heroic. It's very noble to look after your friends, you know?" Ajax corrected. His eyes returned to scanning the surrounding trees in a relaxed manner.

"Not when said 'friends' get into trouble all the time," they retorted.

"I always come back, it's not like you need to hunt me down like I'm some criminal on the loose." He shook his head briskly, brushing the snow off the top of his hair. However, he was greeted with another sharp shot right to the scalp.

"Look... So, all due respect, but you're not far off being one, you know?" they shyly replied. Not in a rude way, but still a little offensive to whoever it was directed at.

He didn't know whether to laugh or feel offended by what they said. Maybe both? Well, they weren't exactly wrong... Ajax was already considered a marginal project, or at least it seemed that way.

"Why did you do that?"

"What? You have to specify or I won't know,” his smile fell, replaced by a neutral expression. He tried to feign ignorance, but it didn't work very well.

"Don't be cynical. You beat up an older soldier. Aren't you a little ashamed?”

Which soldier were they talking about? It didn't matter to him anyway, as he'd lost count of how many he'd challenged and won — it wasn't a difficult task, they were never a match for him.

All too often they were weak, and [Name] was the worst of them all. That's why Ajax didn't even bother trying when inviting them to a duel, because the result was obvious from the start. The last time they sparred, it was be boring, easy and not worth the effort.

"Should I be? If a soldier almost two meters tall can't beat up a 14—year—old, then that means he's a weakling, doesn't it?" Ajax crossed his arms. "Besides, he called me names before, so we're even."

"Seriously..." they sighed, "Seriously, try not to make such a fuss. The Fifth can get you out of most trouble, only until you do something, let's say, really catastrophic."

"Something catastrophic like...?" he asked curiously, his gaze fixed on them.

"Like... burning down the Zapolyarny palace?"

His jaw dropped in shock, and a touch of offense showed on his cold—pink face. That was the most absurd thing he had heard in recent times. "What?! Why do you think I would do something like that?"

"Because it's you we're talking about, redhead."

"What's with the nickname?"

"I think it's funny, don't you?"

"You know... whatever." Ajax put his hands on his waist, shaking his head slightly. "I'll take that as an excuse to put a nickname on you too."

"So you're going to stop with the ' comrade' thing and come up with something even worse? Really?"

"Maybe so... maybe not. Who knows?"

The boy gave a relaxed smile, patting them on the shoulder before moving on. His heavy footsteps in the snow served as a background noise to the uneasy silence around them.

"I found it."

"Hm? Found what?" Ajax raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

[Name] pulled out a red scarf, so familiar to Ajax, from inside their backpack, carefully tying it around his neck. The fabric was warm, or perhaps it was the feeling of zeal, or also the nostalgia it brought.

Ajax hadn't realized he had left it behind. And when he realized it, the difference between the cold air and the protection of the scarf was remarkable — was he so distracted that he didn't notice?

The boy's gloved hands touched the soft fabric of the scarf, bringing it closer to his face and snuggling into the warmth. "Where did you find it, comrade?"

" Somewhere, it doesn't matter." They put their hands in the pockets, looking around at the landscape around them. "Aren't you afraid of getting lost in the forest?"

Ajax let out a genuine laugh when he heard their question, as if it were something ridiculous. "Getting lost? I know my way around pretty well."

[Name] narrowed their eyes, firmly disbelieving Ajax's words. For them, the scenery remained the same, no matter how far they went — well, they didn't go very far at all.

"What? It's all the same, like... just trees and snow everywhere."

Ajax held back a laugh, as if what they'd said was completely dumb. "You're not from Snezhnaya, right?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Were you trying to hide it at all?" He couldn't help but laugh at the redness that appeared on [Name]'s face.

They were almost the scarlet color of their vision, which they proudly carried on a chain attached to their jacket. Pyro and Hydro, it was yet another thing that made them so opposite from each other.

"You know what, never mind! Just follow me." They extended a hand towards him, an almost forced offer.

Ajax hesitated, staring at the hand in front of him for a few long seconds before accepting it. He held it with some hesitation, not wanting to apply more force than he should have. He didn't mean to hurt, but he also had moments when he couldn't control his own strength.

They walked together through the snow, their steps in perfect sync. He noticed these small details as he looked down at the ground, thinking over and over again about an endless cycle. Sometimes, he just let that little silence take over his head, alone without direction, lost in the image of his own breath coming in the form of fog.

[Name] mumbled something, Ajax nodded, but forgot all about it soon after. They knew he wasn't paying attention, but didn't care, increasing the strength with which they held his hand.

"You don't like it here? Is that why you keep running away?"

"It's not running away if you come back.”

[Name] genuinely felt like punching Ajax in the face every time he opened his mouth and let out some stupid reason like this, but they would obviously leave it to imagination. The willingness wasn't lacking, but the courage was.

Perhaps if they were stronger, braver, they could say what they really wanted. But they weren't, and that kept them behind a fine line between the two, where Ajax always seemed to be in the front.

Everything in Snezhnaya, absolutely everything, filled them with an internal revolt. The cold that seemed to freeze them inside, the infinitely same path that seemed to lead nowhere, not being taken seriously — but for now, they would do anything to please those on top, especially since they were the ones in control of everything anyway.

"Don't ignore my question, go on. I know you heard me."

As soon as they arrived at the camp, they were greeted by an angry soldier with a large purple eye. That was the man Ajax had hit, and clearly he didn't look happy.

"Look, the bastard's really back," he said sarcastically, snapping his fingers. "Are you going to come at me for no reason like a savage again, like you did earlier?"

"Liar," they retorted, shaking their heads in denial and pointing a finger at the soldier, "you previously morally attacked Ajax, an exemplary boy..."

Ajax nodded, crossing his arms. Exemplary was by far what he was, but he had to agree with those who defended him. What he didn't expect was that they would retract their words soon after.

"...sort of."

"A... gentle boy?" They gave him a sideways glance, as if for confirmation; all he got back was a slight shake of the head.

"sort of..."

There was a lack of good adjectives to describe what he was — what he had become.

It would be less work if they just called him strong, but they didn't. They didn't want to reduce him to something. They didn't seem to want to reduce him to something the soldier in front of them already knew. Or rather, they didn't want to reduce Ajax to a simple strong boy.

They cleared their throats with a smile, grabbing Ajax by the collar, "Give us a second!"

Honestly, he was expecting a beating, not a strategy meeting behind a bush — not that he was going to complain, but at least he was hoping for a fight or something. His clenched fists contained the real desire to punch that soldier right in the face, but unfortunately he couldn't do that.

"'Sort of', really?" Ajax mimicked with a playful tone.

They rolled their eyes, fidgeting. "One of two ways: either I lie by calling you dumb, or I lie by calling you stupid!"

His jaw dropped for a moment. Was Ajax that stupid in their eyes? Not that he was the most self—controlled or straightforward person, but that dumb was an insult. "Oh, but I'm not dumb!"

"Perfect! Then you're stupid!"

The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Just as they didn't understand him, Ajax didn't understand them one bit.

"Seriously, I'm trying to help you... but then you have to help me help you."

"I think you've got it wrong. I appreciate the attempt, not to be rude... but I don't think I asked you to help me in the first place." He tried to smooth it over somehow, with that annoying little smile of his.

They felt their eyes ticking just hearing him, but soon pulled themselves together and returned the smile with a sarcastic tone intertwined with the words, "Really?”

"Mhm!" Ajax smiled. "Then I'm going for it, you said!"

Ajax ran off, abandoning them behind the bush to do whatever he wanted. Training, fighting, getting into another fight... it was all very unpredictable when it came to someone as peculiar as Ajax.

[Name] stood there, letting out a sigh as he thought about how weird this boy was. But there was no denying that Ajax was truly exceptional at getting out of trouble, and that made them more and more curious about him.

Sometimes, before going to sleep, Ajax would close his eyes and think about the day he'd had. He would ponder how small details were so easily erased — he couldn't remember who accompanied him on the march, or the name of the guy he had hit. But it was okay, it was fine not to remember.

The important thing was to keep going, without wasting time, and to move on. Ajax didn't need anything else, or anyone else, just himself to become very strong.

"Here you go, redhead." He was called by [Name], who threw a pillow right in his face.

" Man, you really like throwing things at me, don't you?" complained, pulling the pillow away from his face, "Have I become a punching bag now?"

"You forgot your pillow. If you wake up with a stiff neck, you'll be complaining in my ear all day tomorrow."

"I don't complain—"

"You think you don't, but you nag like an old man!"

Ajax threw himself backwards, lying on the mattress hugging the pillow close to his face. He muttered irritably to himself something almost inaudible, something that [Name] could only wish weren't curses in their direction.

"Look, I don't know what kind of problem you have," Ajax began, rolling his eyes in frustration, but soon changed his tone to something more playful, "if you want to settle something with me, come fight. Unless you're too much of a chicken not to fight someone younger and stronger than you."

"Whatever" [name] grumbled as they adjusted the flame of the lamp with their vision, "I already know I have zero percent chance against someone like... you."

"Why, comrade? It's not like I'm going to kill anyone in sight or anything like that." He smiled, giving a slight chuckle.

"Yes, of course, and I'm a slime" [name] sarcastically answered.

"Honestly, I don't mean to offend you or anything..." Ajax sat up, running a light hand through his hair to remove it from his face. "But I really wonder how someone so coward got into Fatui. I mean, you're afraid to even hold your own bow."

[Name] listened attentively to his words, but kept their gaze fixed on the lamp in her hands. It was the only source of warmth between them at the moment, and they couldn't let it go out so soon.

"The reason I'm in Fatui..." Their eyes did not leave the flame in hand, carefully observing the orange color that reflected on everything around him. [Name] avoided this question whenever it was asked, because they knew they weren't strong, and didn't force themselves to be, but the truth was too shameful.

"I believe I am indebted to Her Royal Highness the Tsaritsa. I must render my services for her generosity, and also... for this little thing here, which has guaranteed me everything I have now."

They picked it up and swung it around, the vibrant red gemstone seeming to emanate heat in a veritable mirage. Even though the temperature was almost below zero, it still retained its tiny hints of flame.

"Well, I guess that's it. I was born like anyone else, subject to mistakes and defects. But I don't think I'm worthless, after all..." they paused for a single second, letting out a sigh before continuing, "even doormats have their uses."

Ajax's face softened as he listened to them. He was speechless, sincerely mute without an answer to their words. No silly comment came to mind, just nothing. He waited a while in silence before finally asking: "Wow, that was something..."

"I think we've talked enough about me, what about you?" They asked with a little smile, and Ajax relaxed a little.

"About me? Hm... I think I have several stories! Like today when I punched that guy!" he cheered, throwing a fake punch in the air to represent his fight.

[Name] let out a simple laugh, amused by his actions. They thought the boy was a piece of work, silly but very funny; also very intriguing in every respect. At fourteen, joining the Fatui and doing well was something out of this world from everyone else's perspective.

"No, silly! I don't care about that sort of thing." They shook their heads in denial.

Ajax blinked twice, confusion clear on his face. "What...? So what do you want to know, anyway?"

They patted his head lightly, making Ajax turn as red as a tomato. It was unexpected, and he didn't know how to react to it, he wasn't prepared, but it wasn't that bad either. For the first time in a long time, Ajax allowed himself to receive a bit of care.

"Tell me, redhead," they called him by that silly nickname again, getting a funny look from him, "do you miss home at all?"

"Homesick? Hm... I don't know, I don't think so."

"Lying to yourself is always the worst kind of lie, so don't do this."

"If I really miss home..."

Home. Did Ajax really miss home? It was very hard for them to guess what was going through his head when all he did was fight and cause trouble. Although he had his ridiculous faults, there was still a gentle child inside, deep down.

Ajax was about to answer when it finally hit. It was the kind of question that nobody really asked in the Fatui. Everyone usually acted in accordance with their situation, there was no room in the Camp for whining.

The only tears were those that were left on the pillow, turned upside down as soon as the first rays of sun appeared in the morning. Hidden, sealed away from the gaze of others, while everything continued in the shadows.

He remembered perfectly the day he left home, beginning his career as a soldier.

Ajax checked his appearance one last time in the mirror. He didn't mind the state he was in, with a few scars on his hands and small scratches on his face from the mess that had occurred before he was enlisted — but he couldn't look relaxed either, Ajax needed to look presentable for some reason.

He could hear some whispering, not so quiet, of children behind him. He could see their reflections, curious as ever, but pretended not to have noticed, not wanting to end their failed attempt at spying.

When the clock finally struck a certain time, he knew it was time to go. Ajax had been preparing since the day before, when he received the news. It hadn't been easy to accept, but Ajax had no voice after everything he had done.

It was easy to feel the blood on his hands, even though he had washed them over and over again. While his combat skills were fascinating, it was frightening to see how easy it was to seriously hurt someone.

But at the same time, he felt the adrenaline of fighting pulsing through his veins, bringing with it an insatiable desire for battle. He didn't have a strong enemy, he didn't have anyone who could challenge his skills in this little corner of the world he lived in. Being the strongest shouldn't be so boring, at least not for him.

When he stepped out of his room, the first thing he saw were his little siblings. Their faces were full of questions, asking for an answer as to where he was going, why he was leaving and other questions that Ajax wasn't allowed to answer, nor was he in the mood to answer them.

This was what he really dreaded, the farewell.

He hugged each sibling as if it was the last time seeing them, his eyes filled with anguish disguised as emotion and tears that weren't exactly shed. He felt a knot down his throat — how hard it was to try and keep a smile, with such a conflicted feeling in his chest.

Perhaps that was the hardest part, because the younger ones had no idea where their older brother would end up. They didn't know that he was going where no other child should go. The only excuse he could come up with was something about a fantastic toy factory, and they bought it.

He swallowed it all, keeping his typical charisma in a comforting smile. Blindly lying to himself that all that was to come was just a distraction where he could meet stronger people, bigger obstacles and climb them without hesitation.

He ran down the stairs as if it was the last time, and it would be, because long gone was the boy who once smiled here. Hearing the children's voices saying casual goodbyes, as if it were just another ordinary day and that he would be back soon. Touching the banister, sliding along and feeling the texture of the wood, brought a little sadness. It was full of scratches and loose splinters, just the way he would remember it.

Taking a deep breath, he let the smell of wax invade his lungs for one last time. Little did he know, but this would become another moment for nostalgia in just a few days.

He hesitated to leave that warm place, so precious and cozy that it was the only thing capable of bringing a tear to his eyes after leaving the abyss. Not all things in life work out the way we want them to, and he needed to learn that, if only in the harshest way possible.

"Discipline" was what it was supposed to be, a form of punishment for all the trouble he had made. Like a staircase, Ajax climbed step by step in his acts of violence until he reached the irreversible point of his insatiable hunger for battle

But life always takes its toll. And for Ajax, life decided to give, demand and take away almost instantly.

Saying goodbye to his mother, who wrapped a red wool scarf around his neck, Ajax could only keep smiling. If it hadn't been for the hesitation and worry in her eyes, distressed that her young son would end up in a place like the Fatui, everything would have been so much easier.

"My little warrior," she called him, a cheesy nickname that suited the wild boy perfectly. While it was ironic in the past, given that Ajax was a big scaredy—cat, today it was just dumb, "Don't cause too much trouble... please."

The last sentence came in the form of a very faint whisper, which went almost unnoticed by Ajax. A real plea, almost desperate because of the lack of credibility he had at that moment. She didn't believe in him, evident in the exacerbated concern she showed in her mannerisms.

And if to comfort her, then Ajax was willing to put on his best and most convincing cheerful mask. He had always been a boy who loved his family, and that was something that not even the claws of the Abyss could take away from him.

"Yes, Mom."

Ajax did his best not to sound the least bit false when lying to his mother — He was, he couldn't deny that — But at least Ajax did it convincingly until he could gently slip away from her gentle touch.

"I'll take care of myself. Brush my teeth, comb my hair..."

"And eat well," she added, brushing the dirt off his clothes, making him more presentable.

"...And eat well, leave it to me!"

The woman sighed, letting go of the boy. With her watery eyes turned to the side, she shook her head as if to pretend that everything was fine — an attempt to make it clear that everything was all right, that Ajax shouldn't worry. But in the end, it was to comfort herself.

"Go..." she murmured with a sad smile, shaking her face slightly to let the tears go where they shouldn't, "go with your father before you're late, and don't stir up trouble, see? Your poor mother's heart wouldn't be able to handle it."

"I'll do my best, stay super strong and—"

He was interrupted by a small smack on the head from his father; it wasn't painful, not in the slightest... but it hurt for some reason, somewhere deep inside. All he did was look up, shrug and smile as usual.

"Let's go." That was the call Ajax had been waiting for to.

This was a moment of farewell, but he remembered that it wasn't eternal. Someday, he would return home with his chest puffed out and a huge, proud smile on his face — well, that's what he hoped for.

And so, the troublemaker set foot outside his home to become what no one, not even he, expected him to be one day. Looking back at his past, his younger self, fearful and innocent, disappointed but admiring, came to mind.

An icy breeze was the first thing that greeted Ajax when he opened the door and encountered the standard whiteness of the outside scenery. It was sudden, as if to extract any remnants of warmth he felt. People would say it was a good omen coming from the Tsaritsa, a sign of good fortune on his new path.

And it's what Ajax would like to believe.

"Ajax?"

Their voice woke him from his memories, bringing him back to reality. And then suddenly, he was back in that tiny tent, the one he had never left.

"Sorry. I spaced out, didn't I?" He covered his eyes with his forearm, tiredness was starting to set in.

"Just a little bit." [Name] decided to lie down too, covering themselves with their own blanket. Their hands then went to the lamp, offering it to him, "Can you use your vision to put it out?"

"Can't we just... not put out the fire?" Ajax asked weakly.

[Name] blinked twice in surprise, then cracked a smile to tease him. "What's the matter, are you afraid—"

"No, I'm not afraid of the dark..." he cut them off in mid—sentence, turning around so that he wasn't facing them. With his face covered by the pillow, Ajax lowered his voice. "But leave the fire burning, just for now... please."

It was the first time [Name] had seen him so vulnerable, with his guard down. With such a sincere request, they were at a loss for words — even though they really wanted to understand.

"Right..." They hesitated slightly as they released the lamp. "Sweet dreams, Ajax."

Without replying, they sighed. [Name] then put their head on the pillow, looking at him with a certain empathy. But then again, it was none of their business; he would tell them when he felt comfortable.

That night would be a long one, with the two of them lying awake without exchanging a single word.

Sometimes [Name] questioned their own common sense, especially when they followed Ajax's foolish ideas. Normally, the two of them would get into trouble and be forced to do the daily tasks because of it.

But after days of insistence on his part, they had finally agreed to go ice fishing in the middle of the night because it was the only free time the both had. Did they know how to fish? No, and certainly not on ice, but there's a first time for everything.

"Hm... I don't see anyone," Ajax whispered as he looked through a gap in the tent, making sure no one was awake at this hour.

"Hang on, I can't put these on!" [Name] tried to put their boots on, but couldn't make a decent knot. They were already frustrated, tying them any way and untying them when they realized it didn't lead anywhere.

Ajax let out a chuckle, their desperation to put on simple boots was utterly comical, "Let me help you."

"I can do it myself!" [Name] stared at the tangled shoelace with a certain determination, trying to undo what they had tied.

"You said that last week, yet you couldn't do it and we lost the training—"

[Name]'s face heated up in embarrassment. What he said was true, the two of them had missed it, all because they didn't know how to put on the boots offered with the new uniform, and had to clean the weapons as punishment — not that Ajax cared, it seemed he had only focused on admiring the swords and guns rather than cleaning them.

"Shh! That's in the past!" they tried to shut him up.

Ajax shook his head slightly. He knelt down and stared at the blind knot they had tied, taking his hands to the shoelaces to straighten out the mess. "I'll teach you, check it out."

He carefully tied their shoes, making a firm loop. It was just like at home, when he helped his younger siblings put on their boots to play outside. When recalling this, an unconscious smile appeared on Ajax's lips, followed by a giggle.

"Are you laughing at me?" [name] asked, offended.

"No—" Ajax looked up, and then laughed, seeing the funny look they were making. "Yes, I am now!"

[Name] grabbed him by the cheek, hurrying him out of the tent with them. "Stop laughing, they'll wake up and it'll be our doom!"

"All right, all right!" Ajax exclaimed, removing their hand from his sore cheek. "You talk just like my mother when she scolds me..."

[Name] looked at him, smiling before teasing him. "No way, I mean, I pity your mother for having to put up with a son like you."

Ajax's frowned, he really did look offended by what they had said. "I have no idea what you're talking about, I've always been a very well—behaved child!"

"Oh, sure... if you say so, who am I to doubt it?" they agreed sarcastically. There wasn't a shred of confidence in his word.

There were endless minutes of walking and exchanging small insults. Under the moonlight, the two made their way calmly, getting further and further away from the camp. If they were lucky, no one would find out that they had run away.

They would be fishing in a frozen lake, a large mirror that reflected the light of an aurora. It was a breathtaking sight, as if they could touch the sky, and they took a cautious first step onto the it.

"Damn!" They slipped, having only the instinct to hold on to something.

"Whoa! Watch it there, comrade!" Ajax helped them regain their balance, holding them up by the arms. He took slow steps backwards so that [Name] wouldn't slip again.

[Name] smiled a little awkwardly, embarrassed. "Thanks but... This ice won't break with us on it, right?"

Ajax shook his head and firmly tapped his foot on the frozen surface, which remained intact. "It's pretty sturdy, see?"

"I see." [Name] turned their attention upwards and admired the greenish glow again. " Snezhnaya's night sky is a fascinating sight, isn't it? Even though I've seen it several times, I'm always amazed by its beauty..."

Ajax had already seen the real starry sky, the true and uncovered light of the celestial bodies. To refer to this gloomy canvas as a "fascinating sight" is an absurd statement, for it is only an empty imitation of what lies beneath the veil of the Abyss.

"You're really satisfied with anything, huh?" Ajax scoffed, with a hint of a smile on his face, "It's just floating lights, it gets boring after a while."

"Is there anything that doesn't get boring for you?" [Name] watched as Ajax started to cut the ice in a circular pattern, which appeared to be a not too difficult job for him. "Are you sure this works? I mean, it's just ice... I don't know if there's anything alive down there."

Ajax sat, eyes fixed on the hole in front of them. He hugged his knees and remained there, staring at the immensity and waiting for what would happen next. "Don't worry, we'll catch one in... a few minutes, I think."

"In about how many minutes, exactly?"

Ajax looked up thoughtfully. "A few."

"I swear to the archons, if you made us come here for nothing..." [Name] grumbled, watching the boy next to them. The way he insisted on his ideas impressed them, at the same time as it irritates; but seeing that serene face made them let out a little laugh, "Never mind, I'm the idiot one for following you."

[Name] sat down next to him, resting their face in one hand as Ajax and them waited patiently. Those moments of serenity were the complete opposite from the battles that took place everyday.

They had already seen several "comrades" fall, their lives taken while protecting the Fatui's interests. Interests that were unknown and hidden from the vast majority, concealed by individuals whose faces were unknown to many.

The Harbingers themselves were a kind of urban legends who, while everyone knew of their existence, were enigmatic and symbolic figures within the organization.

"What exactly are we fighting for?" [name] asked. There wasn't exactly a reason, because no one ever said the real purpose of the blood shed on the snowy battlefield.

Everyone's admiration and fear of the Harbingers was obvious. But just as they were feared, the kind of people whose presence is everywhere, there were more questions than answers as to their real motivation.

The closest they had seen was the Fifth, Pulcinella. [Name] didn't understand why they had been placed in his division, being a complete fool who couldn't hold a weapon without getting nervous. Even more so when, in the same division, there was Ajax.

A confused expression appeared on Ajax's face when he heard the question. Wasn't the answer obvious? At least, it was logical. "For Her Royal Highness, the Tsaritsa—"

"No, I know that. I'm talking about why we need to fight, the purpose of it all... We have a mission in a few days, and we don't even know what they want from us."

"I fight because I'm strong, isn't that enough?" Ajax seemed genuine in his response, with no hidden ambitions behind the battles he fought against his opponents. At the end of the day, it seemed to be all about the will to get stronger and better.

"No, it's not." [Name]'s gaze was serious, demanding an answer that would satisfy their curiosity. For them, Ajax was an extremely difficult puzzle to solve — a young boy who possessed the strength of a monster. But at the same time, had a heart as pure as gold. "Your name... was inspired by a hero, right? Do you want to be like them, the hero of the story?"

Ajax nodded, giving them a smirk. He remembered the old days, when he wasn't the least bit brave or powerful, just a fearful boy with a sword and a dream. "I think I'd rather be myself. It's much more fun when you do things your own way, don't you agree?"

"Well... it is, it really is." [Name]'s firm gaze softened. "Ajax, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

The boy froze in place. His mouth opened to speak, but the words he wanted to say didn't come out. He had no answer, even if he thought about it — Ajax simply didn't know.

"When I grow up..." he repeated to himself, looking for an answer, any answer. "I honestly don't know... I think I'll end up having to stay in Fatui."

"Idiot..." [name] grumbled, "I'm not saying you can't do what you want, but let's be honest with ourselves for a moment. Who would willingly stay in this hellhole?"

"Me," Ajax answered immediately, without a hint of hesitation in his speech, "If I go back home, I'll only make more trouble. Just the fact that I'm here makes life easier for everyone, and I can improve my skills."

"Of course you'd say that." They shook their heads, completely disapproving of his choice. They got up from where they sat, offering him a glance. "I envy you, you know that?"

"Hm? You..." Ajax looked up and pointed at them, then at himself. "...envy someone like me?"

"How can I not? You're strong, hopeful, stubborn and very proud," [name] listed, raising a finger for each adjective they found to describe him. "How can I not envy someone like you? You're like..."

"Everything I've always dreamed of being like."

They both uttered the same sentence at the same time, their voices becoming a unison sound that gave way to an awkward silence between them. Their eyes seemed to pierce each other, staring into the depths of the souls in search of some understanding.

"Trust me, I know what it's like," Ajax sighed, "to want to be braver, but at the same time to be too afraid of doing so."

Ajax turned his gaze back to the freezing water. Its darkness brought back vague memories of the abyss. The simple act of fishing was enough to push Ajax's mind back to the past, when he listened to his father's stories — maybe, just maybe, he really wanted to be as great as the heroes in them.

Ajax had once been a poor, fearful boy, terrified of the world outside, but with a spirit hungry for adventure. He had only a shortsword and a bag of bread — anyone could say that it was at that moment, before his fall into the confines of Teyvat, that Ajax began his transformation into what he's now.

"It's not a story I tell anyone, but I used to be a real coward," he admitted, letting out a sigh. "If one day you get stronger... like I did, would you duel with me?"

"Of course..." they smiled, making an x with their arms. "Not!"

Ajax's expression fell, replaced by that of an abandoned puppy. "But why?"

[Name] laughed at his face, crossing their arms. "Don't you remember when we first met?"

For them, the events that led to their current situation were clear as day. From before their enlistment, to the first day in the division.

They were born into a humble family, without any kind of comfort or privilege. [Name] grew up hearing all the stories about the archons and their extraordinary feats, about how lucky those who gained visions were. However, they never understood why their family admired such deities when all they received was misery.

Their parents, in a desperate act, borrowed a large amount of money, which they couldn't pay back. Disaster would be the appropriate word to describe what happened when the deadline for repaying these debts passed. As they were unable to pay, the two were killed by the debt collectors.

But [Name] always had somewhat of a way with their words, and that was the weapon they used to survive in a world like this. Somehow, they managed to negotiate their lives, in exchange for serving in the Fatui army instead of paying off an endless quantity of mora.

And shortly afterwards, [Name] were taken to the Cryo nation, landing in the middle of a terrible blizzard. If it hadn't been for the pyro vision they carried in their hands, [Name] wouldn't be alive to tell the tale, having become an ice statue.

And it was in an old and spacious office where [Name] took their first step towards their new reality. Quite nervously, their hands firmly held a document with all the information about their new career, leaving crumpled marks on its edges. [Name] had never thought they'd be offered to properly work, especially when the job was with none other than Fatui.

They were facing a short, stoic Fatui agent with a big nose and glasses. He seemed like a friendly fellow, but [Name] knew better than to trust someone who worked for those who had killed their family.

"What's your name, child?" asked the man in front of them, as he typed on a typewriter.

They had never seen anything like this, a machine that wrote for people? Unthinkable, it seemed magical, even. [Name] was so glued to it that, for a second, they forgot to answer.

"It's... [Name], that's all. I don't have a last name..."

The agent stopped his notes, giving [Name] a skeptical look. It was enough to make them nervous, unconsciously taking a small step backwards, lowering their head.

"Answer me..." The man went back to typing. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, sir. I'm from far away..." they sighed, murmuring, "very, very far...."

"Are you sure you'd like to join Fatui? You're still too young, don't you think it's a big responsibility?"

The agent gave them a gentle smile, different from the look he had given them before. It was as if he was truly giving [Name] a choice — but the truth was, if they didn't accept it, they would probably end up in the same shallow grave as their parents.

"Forgive me, sir, but it's not a question of wanting, it's a question of needing," they replied calmly, "someone has to pay these debts, right? Mora doesn't grow on trees."

[Name] wondered if they had said something wrong, since their tone hadn't exactly been friendly, mentally scolding themselves. But to their surprise, instead of getting scolded, [Name] heard a faint but present chuckle coming from the other person.

"You should thank Her Majesty the Tsaritsa for your kindness," he said, handing them the piece of paper he had been typing on, "how many people do you think have had an opportunity like this, to have their debts absolved and a job guaranteed?"

"Absolved?"

"Exactly, absolved. All we need from you, child, is your loyalty. I can see the potential, but it all depends solely on you." He pointed at their vision, hanging from their waist with a faint shine. "Surely, you're lucky enough to possess one of these."

For anyone else, receiving a vision is a blessing. However, being in possession of one is like having an eternal debt to the world. To be chosen is to be special, and to be special enough to receive a vision is to be distinct from the rest.

Sometimes it became a curse. One can no longer live like a normal person, because there will always be something that sets them apart from the rest. All those who are given one struggle in some way — Has there ever been a vision holder who truly lived an entire life peacefully, without any conflict whatsoever? At least in Snezhnaya, it seemed not.

"I... I accept..." Their eyes filled with hope, looking at their own name perfectly typed on the document. There was the real identity of the gentleman in front of them, revealed in a fancy signature, the Fifth of the Fatui Harbingers, Pulcinella.

[Name] signed their names in the blank space, sealing their fate within the organization. From that moment on, they would be part of the Fatui, just one more in the crowd — But if that was what it took to ensure their survival, [Name] would do it without hesitation.

The real issue, however, was on the first day of duty, and it had a name: Ajax.

[Name] had just put on their uniform, which was a little big for their size. But then again, there were none designed for a fifteen-year-old to wear, so they'd have to be content with what they had on hand.

At least the jacket they were given was comfortable, warm enough to block out some of the bitter cold that surrounded them each second. [Name] even looked like a proper person in it, which made them let out a little laugh.

However, it wasn't until they were standing in line in a meaningful formation that [Name] noticed a boy of a similar age to them. Red curls that stood out against the white backdrop, with a red scarf that was too long for his neck — perhaps they weren't completely alone in that place.

[Name] waited patiently until the time came for them to start training, watching him with eagle eyes, following Ajax wherever he went. When they finally mustered up the courage, they approached him and extended a hand towards him.

"Hello, I'm [Name],"

"Hey!" The boy grinned and shook their hands firmly. "I'm Ajax!"

"Well... looks like we're the same age, huh? How about we train together?" they suggested, thinking it was the best option.

"Sure!" Ajax nodded, putting the sword he was holding aside. "That would be, like... an invitation to battle, right?"

Technically, it was, so they just followed the his reasoning and confirmed it. "Mhm!"

"Then get ready!" he announced, preparing to throw a full punch.

[Name] didn't react immediately, surprised at the speed of the boy who had already set up his punch. "W-WAIT—"

Thud.

Complete darkness was how the first and last friendly match between the two ended, with Ajax knocking them out with a single punch. That's how [Name] would learn that fighting Ajax was a trap. However, [Name] wouldn't lie that at least it had been the best sleep they'd had in months — and the worst black eye they'd ever gotten, too.

"Teyvat to [Name]?" They awoke from their thoughts to see Ajax's hand moving in front of their face. He then tapped them on the forehead. "Is anyone there?"

"Oh, sorry, I got distracted. I was just remembering the punch you gave me." They laughed. "Speaking of which, you also punched that guy the other day too... what's with punching people, redhead?"

"I've already apologized!" His face heated up with embarrassment. "And punching is way more practical. You'd be shocked if you knew how strong a punch from me can really be, when I throw one for real!"

"Hm, sure, no doubt about it—"

"I got one!" Ajax exclaimed, trying to pull the line back on the rod with great difficulty. "A little help would be nice, you know!"

[Name] hurried, wrapping their arms around him and pulling back to bring the fish to the surface. But the animal wouldn't cooperate, even with the effort they made take it out of the water.

Ajax took a step back. "That was fast!"

"Fast? We've been waiting for almost an hour—" They slipped on the ice, pulling him and the fish along with them. In the end, Ajax and [Name] both fell flat, like two idiots.

[Name] looked at him, who was holding the fish in his hands while the animal struggled in them. It was a funny sight, which was enough to get a genuine laugh out of them.

"Haha..." they laughed weakly, then raised their tone, "Hahaha!"

Ajax, hearing the sound of their giggles, bursted into laughter. He laughed so hard that small tears formed in his eyes, "Hahaha... What are we laughing at?"

[Name] pointed at him, "At you, you fool!"

"Oh, really?!" Ajax stood up, bringing the fish in his hands near them. "Let's see who gets the last laugh!"

[Name] got up and ran across the ice, running away from him. They slipped and balanced, with an infectious smile on their faces accompanied by the sweet sound of their laughter, while Ajax chased after them with the animal.

It was moments like this that reminded them that they weren't adults, but two true children at heart.

At least once a week, Ajax and [Name] were sent on missions. They weren't often in charge of the more complicated ones, as they were still too young. However, for the first time, the two of them were allowed to take part in a more risky operation.

The two were supposed to stay with the older ones, but [Name] found themselves alone, having gotten separated from the rest by accident. In the middle of such a large forest, they could only hope that a blizzard wouldn't strike right away.

[Name] analyzed their surroundings, trying to retrace the steps that led them to nowhere and return to where the division had planned to reunite. However, they seemed to go round in circles, never reaching their destination.

That's when they noticed a coat lying in the snow. It was brown, very different from the Fatui soldiers' uniform, with a shabby finishing and a gross smell of blood.

Pow.

That's what they heard, a loud, familiar sound that sent shivers down their spines. Looking up, they saw a bullet hole in the tree, well above their heads — by perhaps two centimeters, they would no longer be alive.

"...!" [Name] instinctively looked for the source of the sound, quickly finding it.

Their desperate eyes met another's, which held no pity. Yet another soldier, wounded, carrying a gun and a tremendous amount of hatred — not everyone liked the Fatui, and not everyone had sympathy just because they were a child.

Frightened, [Name] ran desperately, followed by fierce gunfire that almost hit them. [Name] hid behind a tree and drew out their bow, but couldn't hold it properly no matter how much they tried, since it always slipped from their hands.

The enemy was indeed wounded, but armed and apparently experienced. The look in his face had been enough to send shivers down their spine, because when compared to them, who couldn't even use their vision properly, it was like facing a real monster.

"It'll be all right..." they whispered to themselves. "I just need to—"

[Name] heard more gunshots, too close to where they were. Something told them to run, but also to stay, accept the invitation and have a proper fight. If it was to survive, then [Name] would fight, they needed to.

[Name] couldn't hide forever, it wouldn't be right.

"Come on, you bastard!" [name] shouted, their voice echoing through the woods, as they aimed their bows in the direction of the enemy.

They used their vision and set the arrow ablaze, burning their own fingertips in the process. They didn't know how to control the force with which the arrow burned, but they knew it would hurt anyone who was struck.

[Name] clumsily launched the first arrow, dodging a shower of bullets headed their way. They hoped it was enough, that they had been able to send it flying at his face. But instead, the projectile pierced through his shoulder.

"Damn!" the soldier shouted, trying to reload his weapon while wincing in pain, but his ammunition had run out.

He came up and pistol—whipped them, causing [Name] to cry out in pain for a few seconds. The impact was so intense that they dropped their weapon and fell into the snow.

[Name] then felt the real despair of being weak. They could hear their hearts pounding in their ears and their eyes watering from the pain of the blows they received to the head, while blood trickled down their faces.

They grabbed his foot, applying pyro to their hands to make his boot burn along with it. When he fell, it was then that they saw their chance to stay alive handed to them on a platter.

They reached for the bow that lay on the ground next to them, firmly holding it anyway. Nothing mattered, only survival and that was all — they only needed to survive, to live long enough to prove that they were capable.

It didn't take much for one person to kill another, just despair. That feeling of helplessness and genuine dread, which would move mountains if necessary, was all it took to pull the trigger.

They violently hit the enemy in the face with their own bow, as if it were a bat. It was only when the return attacks stopped that they realized what they had done. The body below had an expression of terror, eyes wide as blood dripped onto the white snow, staining its purity with a crimson shade.

"I—I didn't... I did this...?" They stared at their bloodied hands, feeling their heart beating wildly against their chest. That's when, suddenly, an incessant urge to cough overtook them, but only blood came from their mouth.

[Name] looked down and realized that they had been shot in the chest. The bullet had gone through what seemed to be their lung, they didn't know, the adrenaline was hiding the pain for as long as it took. However, the spot hit was clearly a lethal wound.

They took two clumsy steps backwards, shaking their heads in denial. [Name] was too afraid to do anything like that, taking a life itself was too cruel an act for them, but it was done.

However, they didn't want to die as murderers, not really. So, with determination, [Name] decided they wouldn't die there.

They turned around and ran that time like there was no tomorrow, using every drop of adrenaline they still had in their bodies. [Name] couldn't see the sun shining, only the same gray clouds that covered the sky, which seemed to mock the fact that there was no light at the end.

Their only way out was to get to the camp, where there should be healers waiting for the wounded. However, it was difficult for [Name] to distinguish the landscape around them, especially in such a nervous state.

[Name] tripped over their own foot, losing their balance and rolling painfully down the mountain. They watched life pass before their eyes, each moment painful with the intention of just surviving, not living. Then they closed their eyes tightly, already bracing themselves for a more abrupt impact and accepting certain death.

They hit a tree, before rolling one last time to the bottom of the hill. Fortunately, or not, it was low enough for them not to die on impact — they did wish it had been stronger, ending it all quickly.

[Name] felt like a bird, floating in the sky with their eyes closed. They thought they had died because of the serenity felt for a few seconds, only to be crushed by the cruel reality. Their fall had been gently cushioned by the snow, but even with all this effort, they couldn't see the camp — which meant it had all been in vain.

Finally, the pain returned to their body as if it had never left. Breathing was difficult, with each breath being painful in the extreme, as if their organs were punishing them for still being alive.

"N—No," they sobbed through words, hot tears contrasting with the coldness that cruelly coursed through their veins. "I—I hate it... I wanted to die in peace, not like this... Not like this..."

Their trembling hands squeezed the wound in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. [Name] didn't know how much time they had left, they didn't want to know either, all left to do was pray to Tsaritsa and beg for a little mercy, for a quick death if possible.

[Name] still hadn't paid their debt to Her Majesty, for the life they had been offered. For the bread to eat every day, for the tent they had over their heads, for letting them breathe, for letting them remain in existence, they had to do their utmost to repay all the favors with whatever they could.

For the gratuitously heavy insults that they had to swallow in silence because they were weak; for the mountains and snowstorms that brought them down along the way; for the disgraceful defective vision of theirs — or rather, they were the defective ones.

"P—Please..." [Name] begged the nothing, while holding their vision close to their chest, "if miracles really do exist…”

How many things had [Name] thrown away, when what they wanted most was to prove to everyone that, even if they were weak, they didn't need to prove anything to anyone? [Name] didn't know, only the bitterness of a wasted time remained in their hearts.

They let their tears fall over the flaming orb, whose glow no longer seemed the same. With one last kiss to the gem, a silent thank you, they began to weep for a life they were about to lose.

There would be no one to mourn their death, to lament the defeat of someone who had never once won. They probably wouldn't even have a funeral, but would just be buried somewhere like an animal. How terrible would it be to be completely forgotten, with no soul to remember their existence?

And Ajax, their only friend... finally acknowledged this fact. Would the boy be desolate? Grieve? Or would he carry on as he always seemed to do?

They regretted not having told him things in life that only they could say. They could only hope for the best, that he wouldn't take the news that badly — but at the same time, there was a small, selfish desire for him to feel their death. Not because [Name] wanted him to suffer, but because that way they would know that they mattered to someone.

[Name] recalled the memories they had made with him, like when they first met, when they went ice fishing a few days ago. The image of how they ran and laughed with him that night, as if they weren't the next ones to die, was fresh.

At last, their body felt light, receiving a moment of tranquillity reserved for the end of endings, when [Name] felt nothing but the slow rhythm of their heartbeats, fighting for a lost cause, as if they didn't have two holes in their chests.

"I was truly... useless until the end, wasn't I...?" [Name] murmured what they knew would be their last words, a vent to themselves and to the world. With the last beat of their hearts and the cessation of their breathing, snowflakes touched the now freezing skin. "I hope I have served you well... Your Majesty..."

They died in silence, without disturbing anyone.

Meanwhile, with the mission over, Ajax found himself extremely bored. Contemplating the pure white snow stained with blood as he returned to camp had already become a habit of his.

He could not care less that his face had a few small scratches on it. Though, he had to admit, that any kind of mission made him tired. But before he could rest, he found a place to rest. So Ajax began to look for them throughout the camp, without any success in his search.

'They must be receiving medical care...' He thought, as he made his way towards the tent where the doctors were staying.

It was a small space that was often crowded with the number of people wounded during missions. Finding any specific person was difficult, even more so when he was being pestered to be treated right away because he was younger.

"Are you sure you don't want to go first?" one of the doctors asked, placing a hand on his bruised face.

"No, I'm fine!" Ajax smiled. "I'm just looking for..."

For some reason, his eyes fixed on a particular corner of the tent. Away from the rest, it was where they put the bodies of those who had perished in combat; but Ajax had never taken much notice of it, so why now?

He approached slowly, in silence. Ajax felt an uncharacteristic nervousness come over him, running through his veins. The chills he felt seemed to swallow him up from the inside out, it had been a long time since Ajax had felt like this, as if something was screaming "don't go there, stay here" and attempting to keep him from discovering the truth, as he approached a particular cloth.

He stopped in front of the covered figure, noticing something sticking out of the cloth. An object, a... vision. But the only ones in the entire division who possessed one were him and... [Name].

Terror was too little to describe what overtook Ajax, who hesitated to lift the cloth covering the individual's face. He wished he wouldn't hear his head and believe that they weren't the dead man in front of him.

With trembling hands, which he tried to stop, Ajax lifted the fabric slightly. And that's when the ground really seemed to crumble beneath him — they were dead, [Name] was truly dead.

Their skin was so pale and cold that it scared him a bit. But what particularly caught Ajax's eye was the sheer amount of blood they had lost, as their face and hair were completely stained a deep crimson red; and no one had bothered to close their eyes, devoid of life and its particular glow. Now, they were just a pit of darkness that matched his own.

"..." Ajax just stared, unable to say anything. Everything was trapped inside, without him being able to express it.

Ajax tried to tell himself that he didn't care, that they weren't really friends, just work colleagues. But the sadness in his heart betrayed the stoicism he tried so hard to maintain.

Ajax closed their eyes gently and kissed [Name]'s forehead gently before covering their face with the cloth again. It was an action that any mother would take on seeing her child dead, but they didn't have one to weep over their death — and if there wasn't one, then Ajax would play his part in showing respect for them.

Ajax may even have changed when he fell into the abyss, becoming a maniac for fighting and confusion. But at the end of the day, he was human just like everyone else.

Two days later, the tent they shared was cold, without the heat of the lamp to warm Ajax up, as it had already gone out with the icy wind coming through the gap in the entrance.

It was [Name] who kept them warm in the middle of the night, using their vision to keep the fire burning. And that was just a bitter reminder that they were no longer there.

The others had taken away everything that was theirs, accommodating what would be the belongings of a new tentmate, who would be arriving in a few days. It was as if they had ceased to exist altogether.

Ajax wouldn't mind being hit in the face with a pillow if they were the ones to hit him, with that smile, with that irritating tone of voice of theirs that Ajax recognized from afar. He wouldn't mind being called "redhead" again, if it was them calling him that.

"Ajax?" The voice that called him from outside was familiar to Ajax. It was the Fifth.

Ajax promptly got to his feet, walking outside the tent and greeting him politely, a treatment he reserved only for The Rooster. "I'm here, sir."

"I heard that one of your companions fell in battle... a shame," the Harbinger said, as he searched for something in his pocket. "Well, here it is..."

The man handed him a gray envelope, a letter. In the corner was written in almost illegible handwriting the names of the sender and recipient, respectively: [Name] and Ajax.

"Thank you, sir," he nodded, holding the envelope tightly in his hands.

"You were both very similar ages, you and..." the Rooster paused, having forgotten their name.

"[Name]." It was the first time Ajax had said their names, having called them "comrade" all the time since they'd met. Honestly, it hurt a little, how difficult it was to utter a simple phoneme.

A few minutes later, Ajax said goodbye to the Harbinger and entered the darkness of the tent again. He left out a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever was written inside that envelope.

Ajax could no longer remember what The Rooster had talked about, only that the exchange of words had been short, like all the others before. He didn't even have the mind to think about it now, he could apologize later if he forgot some important information.

But right now, the only thing that mattered to Ajax was [Name]'s letter. He opened the envelope, trying to be careful not to tear it, but in the end he did. Ajax strained his eyes to read what was written there, in a handwriting as bad as theirs.

Dear Ajax,

Should I start a letter with "dear"? I don't know, honestly, I have never written one. Well, if this letter found you, then that means I must be dead by now. I'm sure you're glad I did, as you'll now have the whole tent to yourself.

I've written this because I know that, in life, I might not be able to say what I think. I believe we're already friends, don't you too? That's how I feel about you, I think you're my only friend, and I've been very happy about that. Thank you, thank you very much, for the joyful and humorous moments you've provided me with in this little end of the world that is Snezhnaya.

I asked you the other day if you felt homesick; you may deny it, but I can understand how you feel, away from everyone you love in a place like this. Know that whatever may happen, I believe that the same people you miss feel the same way you do.

Don't listen to that little voice in your head that whispers "you're nothing but trouble", it's stupid. When I look at you, I don't see a troubled boy, but a boy with the heart of another. That day we were late for training, you could just as well have walked away and let me be punished for being late, but you didn't. We cleaned all the weapons by ourselves. We polished all the weapons alone, for hours, and you never complained. Why was that?

I don't know, but I'd like it to stay that way, so keep going! I'll be cheering you on from wherever I am, because you're the best warrior I've ever had the honor of meeting.

I end this letter with my admiration and gratitude to you; and never forget: we have our own time!

With much care,

[Name].

A single tear fell onto the paper, right below their name, accompanied by others that would soon form a hot waterfall in his eyes. Ajax didn't know how to respond to this, covering his face with the paper, as if he was embarrassed to end up being seen like this

Perhaps it was for the better, a reminder that life really wasn't fair, and that Ajax had strayed from the path he was on. He didn't want to care so much, but at the same time he did.

Ajax wanted someone to comfort him, to tell and reassure him that it was all right, that this sort of thing did happen, but at the same time, it didn't. It was hard, very hard, to face it. It was difficult, very difficult, to face the loneliness that he tried so hard to hide behind brute strength.

Anyone who saw him like that would doubt that he was the same person who ravaged the battlefield with his bloodlust, the boy who seemed like an uncontrollable monster with an indomitable spirit, causing trouble wherever he went.

But for one last time, in the darkness of that tent, he allowed himself to be... Vulnerable.

[heartilywrites]

hello!! can I request a kuvira x fem!r where reader worked for kuvira but was apart of team avatar like bolin and a prompt "I know that this is not what you want to hear..." thank you!!

،، 𝓐lways Forever ; Kuvira

resume: where you were Kuvira's right hand but... are you really?

content warning: Kuvira x metalbender and fem!reader ; s4 set ; baatar jr jumpscare (i don't like him, sorry-) ; no use of y/n

wc: 3.2k

a/n: HI HELLO 👋🏼 i feel that I'm missing stuff in here, but at the same time i think it's good how it is??? HOPE YOU ENJOY :D

“ Don't make me cry, though I still got love for you and haven't got over you yet.

Hands covered with white gloves moved around the map to corroborate your binnacle.

Northwest, near Zigan Village... wait, didn't the military already helped that village...? No, you would've registered it when—

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “HEY, MISS GEOGRAPHY!” Bolin screamed walking to you, giving you a tiny heart attack. “Watcha doin'?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Fucking spirits, Bolin...” you said out of breath, turning fully his way. “Do you need something?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "The boss wants us all reunited, we are close to the town." your friend let his arm rest on your shoulders. "Should we go reunite with Mako and Asami while we are there?"

A sound of consideration vibrated in your throat while your face made an expression of thinking. “I don't think they can, Bo, Mako is occupied being a detective and Asami has a whole company to run, remember?”

You felt how your friend got discouraged after that, a small sigh left his lips.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Maybe you're right..” he said in a small voice.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “But maybe we can reunite with them after the coronation. Who knows? Korra could be back in the city by now too.” you tried to encourage the lavabender back, poking his side. He smiled.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh! I wish! She hasn't answer any of my letters to her, you know? And I wrote to her with dedication.” Bolin ranted making you laugh.

After the avatar left Republic City to heal in the Southern Water Tribe, Bolin had found out Kuvira's plan to save the Earth Kingdom from chaos herself and he decided to walk in the team as he really wanted to have his and his father's nation back to peace. One week later, he came to you talking you into joining too, assuring it would be to have the nation united until the new king took possession of his place.

You did take a couple days to consider his proposal and ended up showing to the train with your stuff, being met with a big hug from your friend and a welcome speech from the leader.

The team was small when you joined, so you had the honor to see Kuvira recruit more people for the good cause... At least that was what she made everyone believe, even you.

You were able to take a good position in Kuvira's circle, you managed the villages reports for her and that made you be close to her. She remembered you from the team's visit to Zaofu where you would be kind to everyone, she taught you some new metalbending moves you didn't know and that was also part of the reason you joined: Kuvira herself.

Having to be almost every single hour of the day by her side gave you the opportunity to meet her in more depth than how it happened back in the metal clan's city and in a blink of an eye, there wasn't a way anyone could see one without the other. Everyone started to notice how important you began to be for the young leader. Unofficially, you were her right hand, but even with such a high rank there were stuff Kuvira kept from you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Everyone has a room assigned, we'll take the presidential suite.” Kuvira informed, pointing at you and then back at her. “We'll meet outside before the event.”

Baatar looked at you with narrow eyes before walking behind his new roommate Bolin. The metalbender and you made your way to the suite and began to settle; since the presidential suite had two connecting rooms she took the principal one and you the small one.

After leaving your stuff, you walked to her room and sat on the bed while she was getting ready for the coronation.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Are you sure to go on with your plan?” you asked after a small talk took place about the room being pretty, her sharp eyes looked at you from the mirror.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Of course, this new little king they want on the throne is nothing but a buffoon.” she answered, her eyes went back to her reflection. “And the Kingdom needs someone strong and respected to keep it together.”

You sighed and nodded with a little 'I guess' coming out of your mouth. The black haired walked to you, sitting by your side she took one of your hands.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Trust me, this is for the best. The new Empire will be stronger and far better than the previous Earth Kingdom.” her eyes searched for yours and when they met, her gaze softened. “You trust me, don't you?”

A sweet smile began to creep in your face, your head nodded once more. “I do, I trust you blindly.” your free hand reached for her cheek to leave caresses on it.

The door opened without any warning and the engineer walked, freezing after seeing you two close. He cleared his throat making the two sets of eyes turn his way. “All set, we need to go.” and he left.

You looked back at Kuvira with a funny smile, she shook her head. “Let's go, new leader.” A quick kiss on her cheek was left before distancing from the girl and walking to the exit.

At the coronation, everything went like you thought it would: People opposing, people showing support and Wu looking defeated at the border of a tantrum.

Bolin looked at you confused and you shrugged a little bit, like saying he needed to talk to her directly about it and that's what he planned to do after the ceremony.

When you came back to the room after having lunch with some of the soldiers to make time, you saw Suyin leaving the same, she looked at you and shook her head almost with disappointment before continuing her way.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey, what happened? I saw Suyin leave.” you asked directly coming in, Kuvira was standing with her arms crossed.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We are leaving to Zaofu.” she limited to say, going to her room for her stuff.

You knew what was going to happen, she have been thinking about getting Zaofu into the new Empire for quite some time now, it was almost all she spoke about while talking about not letting the king rule.

Near the city, Bolin was called and told to be of company to both her and Bataar in a negotiation reunion with the matriarch of the city and her family, you were requested to stay on camp to keep working and that's what you did.

While looking through some paperwork that you knew got mixed up with Bataar's in his tent, you found blueprints for weapons you've never seen before, notes on the weapons about them being deadly and how each one could help in different areas. Your brow frowned and then, the dots connected.

Trying to look calmed you took your papers and walked back out like nothing. Bolin was also walking out of Kuvira's tent with a pale face, when he spotted you his feet almost ran your direction and took you by the shoulders.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Kuvira is not what we think she is!” he screamed in a whisper, your eyebrows raised, he knew too.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What? Why–” he pulled you to your tent so you could talk. “What are you talking about, Bolin?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “She just threatened me,” your eyes widened. “She wants to take the city by force, that's what we have been doing all this time! Taking cities by force and apparently making them work like slaves too!”

You blinked to all of the information. “Holy fuck, so that's why...” your sentence stopped, now you understood why there were documents with censored information being delivered to you instead of the official ones.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah, holy fuck that's why!” he backed up, pulling down his face. “We need to do something, there's no way we'll leave it like this.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Let me... Let me talk to her, you need to go for Varrick, I know he can help us, he was captured because of the vines I heard.” you said, spaced out on your spot, you looked back at him. “Try to get out of here with him and talk to the team, I know they can help us, Korra will help us.”

The guy nodded before going out like a man on a mission, you stayed to clear your thoughts and try to come with a way to persuade her. After collecting a couple of documents that needed approval, you made your way to her tent, Baatar was there.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You can leave.” she said to him, the man left with a grimace, you rolled your eyes at him. “Hey, I was about to look for you, want to eat dinner?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, sure.” you smiled, standing still with your folder, Kuvira raised an eyebrow.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Is... something wrong? Something happened with the reports?” she asked meticulously, almost like fearing any discoveries you had made.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "No, sorry, I just... I feel tired." you walked to her and handed the folder. "I need your approvals here so I can send these."

The girl nodded and took the paperwork to start the process, you bit your bottom lip before breathing in deep.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Listen, I talked to Bolin..." her hand stopped and she froze. "Kuvira, I know you want to have the whole Kingdom united, but taking the city by force is not a good idea."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Sometimes you need to do whatever it takes to make a greater good." her response left a bad mouth taste, she looked back up at you. "I know this is something you don't want to hear, but we need to make them join to our cause so we can move forward as a nation together. I'm doing this for us."

You stood in silence, that was definitely a different Kuvira talking and it scared you a little bit.

It took you that conversation to come up with a plan, you'd stay with her to try and stop everything from the inside and fortunately you weren't alone. Zhu Li had a similar idea with the canyon they were building and so you relied on her, both had meetings from time to time to discuss progress, but it was until the Beifongs were freed and she left with them for her safety that you were all alone. You trusted she would tell everything to the team.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Okay, you can look now." your own hands moved from your eyes, confused you looked up to see a giant robot and now both eyes were wide open. "Do you like it? It's to take Republic City back."

Your blood froze in your veins at the view you were having, it was not only the giant robot, it was the fact that you could see a canyon on its right arm. "I thought... I thought we were going to do a big canyon."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "That was the first plan, but Baatar came up with this new model and it would be easier to mobilize around the city." you nodded still hypnotized by the weapon.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I think this is going to be such a great idea." you said what she wanted to hear, Kuvira smiled satisfied. "What will I do?"

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "You will be with me on the main control room." your mind was running miles trying to devise a plan to let the team know.

With the luck against you, you found yourself at the control room without being able to warn anyone about anything. Horrified at the sight of the canyon destroying everything in just seconds, you were grieving silently what had been your home for all those years alive.  When the president surrendered the city, you felt your soul fall to your feet, but her instructions to them gave you an idea.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'll go!" you almost screamed at her, she turned your way confused. "With Baatar, Korra is my friend, she trusts me, I know she won't try anything with me there. You'll have the city, the army and the avatar." You nervousness made your hands twitch a little bit, you hid them in your back.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Okay," she said after a few seconds of silence, Kuvira walked up to you and cupped your face in her hands.‍ "Be careful, I'll wait for you so we can rule together." She left a kiss close to the corner of your lips.

A soft smile was your response while your eyes scanned her face one last time, trying to burn the image of her in your brain and after that, you left to meet the engineer.

The first half of the journey was quiet, both of you were walking towards his office, but with healthy distance between the two.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "She likes you, you know?" he spoke out of the blue, catching your attention, you looked up from the floor and back at him for a second.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "What...?"

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Kuvira, she likes you." he continued, you stopped a second in your steps, confused.‍ "We were trying something at the beginning of all of this, but after Bolin got you on the team she had been distant to me and this morning she said we needed to talk after this is over, I know she likes you, I've seen the way she looks at you."

You blinked in awe to what was said, that explained why he always looked at you with some type of resentment, you laughed a little bit to the thought of him hating you for ruinning his 'chance' with the leader.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "The destiny is such a funny thing." you murmured, it was almost relieving to know that maybe you did had your chance with the metalbender, you wished the situation was different so you could maybe be with her dispite all, but now you had one mission: stop her.

Once at the door, you unlocked it and walked in, as soon as Baatar walked you heard him grumble. In an automatic way, you adopted a defensive position, however when the avatar looked at you, a smile as big appeared on your face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Korra!" you exclaimed walking towards her to embrace a hug, she giggled.‍ "I'm so glad to see you here."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'm glad to see you too," she said smiling, a couple seconds later, she distanced herself.‍ "Zhu Li told us everything, we're taking Baatar, are you coming with us?"

Without a second thought you nodded and followed the girl out of the airship.

Once at Asami's factory you greeted everyone with joy, feeling like a weight was lifted up your shoulders and when you saw Bolin your eyes watered a little bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I thought you did die!" you said while hugging him with a little strength, he was giggling with pauses.‍ "I didn't have any way to communicate and then Zhu Li left and I was all alone."

The older woman patted your back with a comprehensive smile, while everything went down you stood at the back with your friend, waiting for a conclusion. When the engineer talked to her, your stomach felt fumbling and it didn't get better listening to her answer him. She asked for you and the man told her that you were with him, they had taken you too.

Seeing how the leader shoot at the factory without considering if any of you two would make it out alive somehow made you feel sad, but there wasn't time for any of that as everyone got to action trying to stop her. Lin had given metal string for you to move around and a quick tutorial on how to use it, it took you a couple of falls for you to have the transportation managed.

The fight was intense, there were times were you thought you would not make it alive in one piece. All your muscles were aching in pain at the overwork with your bending, sweat was dripping off your face, but when everyone got into the suit you took the time to rest a little bit with Asami by your side when you went to look for her after she was ejected from the hummingbird suit. Your arms were around her, giving her comfort in her now grieving time.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I hope they can defeat her." she said, resting her head in your shoulder. You looked to the robot's way and saw fire reflecting, a tiny smile appear.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'm sure they will." you said back.‍ "I just wish things were different... I don't recognize Kuvira anymore."

Asami was attentive to you, she gave you a comprehensive gaze.‍ "Things happen for a reason."

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I know that, but-" your talk was interrupted by an explosion, Asami and you covered your head with your hands and looked up afterwards.

The giant robot was halved by the vines power, with no time to waste, you ran to the scene. Before you both arrived, another explosion took place, Asami was quick to pull you to a train entrance for cover. When that one settle, your eyes shined with the new spirit portal in the heart of the city.

A small call for Kuvira left your mouth unconsciously, so you joined the rest of the group to look for the avatar while also you looked for the leader. Your mind was going a thousand per second until you saw the southerner walk out of the portal with the metalbender by her side, you sighed.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "Wait," you called to the Beifongs before they could take her farther.‍ "Can I... talk to her? It will be quick."

Lin and Suyin took just a step back, always vigilant to the leader.‍ "I'm sorry," she started, not allowing you to say anything.‍ "For everything, I'm so sorry for making you go through all of this."

One of your hands look to get one of hers, a melancholic smile was drawn in your face. "You'll do better from now on, I can feel it."

Kuvira let a couple of tears fall from her eyes, you took a step closer to her and your lips met hers in a delicate kiss. The leader was shocked, but tried to reciprocate as fast as she could. You could hear a couple of gasps at your back, but that wasn't your main focus at the moment.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "I'll wait for you." you told her, trying to sound calm. Kuvira's eyes shined with concern.‍ "Just know, I have always loved you... Always."

She smile a little bit and murmur a little 'I love you too' before she was taken away. Turning around to your friends, they all had a shocked face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ "So! Korra saved the city!" you tried to sound as happy as possible for your friend, Bolin gave you back up and cheered for the avatar.

The whole team did a group hug as a celebration, knowing you could also need a hug from them, things will get better with time.

[bokettochild]

I find it funny when someone tries to explain your interests to you

Like, when I was a kid (9-12) I was really big into Redwall, and by really big I mean REALLY big. I was recreating scenes with my toys, drawing art, painting the various settings, memorizing the timeline,-you know the kind. I was just eating up every little detail I could, from the bonus books (including the cookbook) to whatever scraps I could find on the maps or in my (then very limited) internet browsing.

Anyways, my parents bought us all 22 books and I was very invested in them all, and my dad loved them too, but my mom had never read them. Her first time picking one up was so we could do a Redwall based writing curriculum one summer (homeschooled), upon which she saw the one singular time in all 22 books that a character swore, and a brief mention of Satan.

The books were on the table at the next curriculum sale that year, much to all of our dismay.

Now, ten years later, as my Redwall fanfiction and art rots away in the depths of my memory boxes, I find the books have returned to my family's home. Not all, but some, and the little siblings are being permitted to read them, much to my delight.

And @apparitianhanako, my dearly beloved little sister, is telling me how she enjoys them and how she's going to read them in chronological order rather than by published order (there's a HUGE difference). To which I respond that that's a fantastic idea, and ask which one she's on (Mossflower) so I say "oh! that mean's you'll read Legend of Luke next! That's one of the best ones!"

Any my little sister? She laughs and tells me "that's not the next one!"

She doesn't remember which one is next, just that it's not that one, so just let her find her list and she'll tell me! So I do. I could push my point, I could tell her I have a decades worth more brainrot than she does, that I read the last book the moment it got off the press, and mourned the death of the author like he'd been family, but I don't. I sit there, kinda smiling because, again, it's funny to be corrected on something you once saw as one of the most important things in the world!

She finds her list, and frowns. "oh, I guess you were right."

Vindicated.

Not that I crowed about it or anything, I just nodded and said "I thought so," and we went on talking about best characters and moments and battle scenes and whatnot.

But yeah, I think it's funny I know some people get upset about it, but I honestly kinda enjoy being able to sit back and watch people prove me right when they're trying to prove me wrong. Petty, I know, but there's a reason my favorite characters are also equally petty :)

[rileys-battlecats]

Yes this is the same person sending several asks in a row btw. I just have a lot to ask and don’t wanna make some huge mega-ask haha. Plus then you’re more able to answer what you want when you want instead of all at once if you want yk. Anyways

Can you tell us some details on how Minare and Vaitus met? I know Vaitus snuck out and hung out with some commoners while disguised but I would loveee to know some more details. Like how did they start talking? What about? What kind of location? Were they like instant friends or did they see each other around a few times before that happened?

Also is MaVst ever gonna get its story told more in depth like Mudpaw’s story is or is it more of just a side thing? I see it as it’s still developing and there’s more focus on Mudpaw’s story rn so MaVst is gonna be more of a focus later on, but idk if that’s actually what’s happening or if I just made that up haha

anon I am casting 1000 protection spells over you. mwah mwah mwah I love you thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about these guys. This took a long time to answer because I decided to make art to go along with it <3

I'm still ironing out details for their story, but the basic premise is this (under a cut cause it got Long):

Vaitus sneaks out of the palace for the first time on a festival evening, after making his Single Required Moment Of Public Appearance for the nobles that are celebrating in the palace. He's been planning this for years. He's figured out the guard rotation, mapped all the routes into and out of the palace (including some secret passageways he's found), and planned to specifically sneak out on a festival night, so that he can blend in with the crowds of visitors in the city. He puts on his Commoner Cosplay (which he doesn't know won't hold up under close scrutiny; the fabric is too fine, the weave too uniform, to be anything other than expensive), and then makes his grand escape.

For a while, it's incredible. The adrenaline of Doing Something Against The Rules has him wired. No one gives him a second glance, and he weaves through the streets, taking in the sights and sounds. But he didn't account for just how much everything would be. When he finds himself in an especially busy part of the city, he suddenly realizes Oh no, this is a LOT of sounds and smells and people and I don't know where I am and I don't know what I'm doing and it's very crowded and people are touching me get away get away get away—

And he is wayyyy overstimulated. He crams himself into a dark corner, and basically checks out. full shutdown. being a person is Too Much Right Now, Please Come Back Later.

Meanwhile, Minare has just finished passing along a message to a supplier for her group, and is out enjoying the festival. As she's checking out a food stall, she notices a weirdly person-shaped lump in a dark corner.

Minare, who regularly does random sidequests for people in the city, sees this clearly-overwhelmed-stranger and immediately enters Fix It Mode. She tries getting his attention, waving her hands in front of his face and, when that fails, gently taking his arm and manually leading him away from the crowds.

From Vaitus's pov, by the time Minare has approaches to help, he doesn't really have the presence of mind to be suspicious, or even cautious at all. His brain feels like it's been wrapped in wool and then smacked around with a big stick, so he just sort of goes along with her when she starts leading him away. By the time his mind has cleared enough for him to realize what's going on around him, he's sitting on the edge of a fountain in a different part of town, with a stranger sitting beside him and a festival snack in his hand.

She's speaking softly to him. The words are less important than the tone she's speaking in; it's small talk, about the festival, the food, how nice it is to be somewhere quieter, but the tone she speaks in says, 'Everything's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm relaxed, so it's okay for you to relax, too'. She looks at him without an ounce judgment or derision, and Vaitus can't remember the last time someone looked at him like that after one of his... episodes.

Once she notices that Vaitus's eyes have lost that faraway look, she starts asking questions. Simple things: is he feeling any better, is he visiting town, did he get to try any of the food yet?

Despite coming down from the worst of it, Vaitus still can't get himself to respond to anything the stranger says to him. He wants to, but he can't get his jaw to unclench enough to where he can speak. It's happened to him before, suddenly not being able to form words, but this might be one of the most inconvenient times it's happened in recent memory. He can't answer a single question, can barely get himself to nod or shake his head in response.

Minare realizes that her new acquaintance can't talk, and just rolls with it. She figures he must be a visitor to the city (or, perhaps, is a noble that's never visited the lower levels before; a cloak like that? Even with a simple cut, it practically screams money. The stranger certainly isn't from her part of town), and she offers to walk him through the festival, show him the quieter parts of town, and where to find the best food stalls. She's not doing anything else for the rest of the evening, after all. And, being honest with herself? She's a little afraid that the stranger is going to get mugged. He's clearly out of his depth. At this point, she wouldn't be able to sleep at night if she left him to fend for himself.

The stranger nods, a little apprehensively, agreeing to let her show him around. Despite his apprehension, he looks relieved to have guidance. She introduces herself, giving him her name, and following up with "but everyone calls me Mina!" She watches the stranger's jaw muscles twitch a bit, before he manages to open his mouth and say what she's pretty sure is "Vai".

Vai sticks to her like glue for the rest of the evening, and Minare gets to do one of her favorite things in the world; talk about her city. Maybe it's a bit mean to treat him like a captive audience when she's ostensibly helping him enjoy the festival, but in her defense, he listens just a raptly when she talks about the cistern on the lower levels of the city as he does when she talks about the food vendors on a given street. Another mental tally toward her 'hopelessly lost noble' theory; a lot of what she explains to him is common knowledge to a Warrens resident, but from his expression, it seems like a majority of it is completely new information to him.

By the end of the evening, she sees him off, ensuring he knows where he is and only feeling reassured when he makes it clear that he knows how to get home. She ends the night feeling pleasantly refreshed, if a bit tired. Vai had been good company, and the festival had been fun.

Meanwhile, Vaitus is quietly undergoing a Paradigm Shift. He was fully prepared for this commoner girl, Minare, to leave him to fend for himself as soon as she noticed him acting strange. He was NOT prepared for her to treat his behavior as if it were totally unremarkable. He was even LESS prepared for her to offer to show him around. Are all commoners this nice??

He tries to give her space when they walk, but when the crowds start pressing in, he finds himself following Mina closely as she cuts between people, weaving along in her wake. She talks to him, too, in a way no one's talked to him since... ever, maybe? Casual, like he's an actual person. Everyone at the palace treats him like his title, like something not human. At one point, when they encounter an especially crowded area, Mina offers him her hand. He panics a bit, but she's patient and lets him decide what he wants. After a few moments of her holding her hand out, he tugs on his gloves to make sure they're on firmly, and tentatively holds her hand. Minare gives him a smile and gives his hand a reassuring squeeze, and when the world doesn't end, Vaitus squeezes back. He spends the rest of the night looking at their locked hands in wonder.

By the end of the evening, after Mina has said goodbye and he's snuck back into the palace, he crawls into bed. He's exhausted, but he can't sleep. He spends the entire night wide awake, holding his own hand and staring at the ceiling, with the taste of festival food lingering in his mouth. He thinks of nothing else aside from the girl he met.

ANYWAY. yeah that's what I've got for their first meeting, so far :D After this Vaitus goes back out into the city with the vague hope that he'll see Minare again, and wouldn't you know it, they run into each other again! It becomes a more regular thing, and they become friends.

As for how their story will be told, I'm not sure where MaVst is gonna end up going! I'd love to make some videos with the characters in the same way I've done with Mudpaw and co, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get their full story across that way. Mostly, they exist because my brain loves coming up with little characters and storylines when im not thinking of anything else, and Minare and Vaitus gave me enough brainworms to make me want to make them a reality :P Their story is still in its early development stages, so I'm mostly just having fun worldbuilding and brainstorming about characters for now!

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION I HAD FUN ANSWERING IT <3 <3 <3

[corsairesix]

Oh, surface-level X-Men fan here, I always just accepted the idea of Magneto as Malcolm X. Would like to hear more about that not being true.

So, this idea comes about because a couple things are being conflated. Magneto was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in the 60s. These books were classic silver age material, and Magneto is a scenery-chewing maniac. He has some over-the-top gravitas in the way that 60s Doom does, but he's not someone with a whole lot of depth. Stan Lee has said that Magneto and Xavier are inspired by the civil rights movement and that Magneto was intended to be sympathetic, but the reason I say he was probably lying is that it's just not the case in the book that is on the page. Magneto is notably cruel to his minions and thinks that mutants should rule the world. I don't even call him a "mutant supremacist" because that implies more political character than is actually there. It isn't like, a commentary on racial supremacy; he's just a pulp villain who wants to rule the world, and the book happens to be about mutants.

The "political" Magneto doesn't appear until after the book's cancellation and relaunch in the 70s, where he is written primarily by Chris Claremont (as well as Louise Simonson and Anne Nocenti) for a long time, over a decade and a half. Claremont retcons him to be a Holocaust survivor (that wasn't part of his character in the 60s) and largely initially bases him on Menachem Begin and Meir Kahane, both right-wing Israeli nationalists. Over time, he drifts from those initial influences as he becomes more sympathetic, then less villainous, and eventually joins Xavier's ideology. That's not to say Claremont never used the imagery of Civil Rights or racial discrimination--he does, both well and incredibly badly, sometimes even in the same comic (*cough cough God Loves Man Kills*). But, Magneto's politics don't ever map to Malcolm X in this era, and Claremont is pretty open about his parallels here.

So, why did Stan Lee say all that shit?

Well, the earliest citation I can see for Stan Lee saying X-Men was inspired by the civil rights movement was in 2000, which is right after the first X-Men movie came out. And the movie, (which did not have the specific context of 20th century right-wing Israeli politics that Claremont was aware of but DID have the benefit of a synthesized view of Magneto's arc from sympathetic villain to now-liberal ally of the X-Men), painted Magneto as someone who more-or-less wanted the same thing as Xavier but is going too far. Which is how a lot of liberals see leftists, if incorrectly.

So anyway I think the narrative of "X-Men as civil rights allegory with Magneto specifically being the more radical left element" was boosted by the movies and Stan Lee kinda wanted to claim ownership for that idea, which is a thing Stan Lee does.

[tyrantisterror]

At Sea Without a Map pt. 37

(damn, you guys wanted to talk to the croc even more than you wanted to fuck the fish!)

"Oh fuck," you say as the massive reptile's head emerges from the sand. Maybe it's a vain hope that this sea monster will be reasonable like Calibani, or maybe it's just your urge to be polite, but you stick your head out of the captain's cabin and shout, "Sorry, Mr. Alligator-"

"Crocodile," Calibani corrects you. "Only crocodiles have the snaggletooth smile - alligators have overbites."

"Crocodile, right. Sorry, Mr. Crocodile! We didn't mean to wake you up! Our boat just got stuck in the sand, and we were-"

I KNOW YOU.

The words thunder inside your brain as the crocodisle turns its massive head around to face you, its enormous snout locked closed in a snaggletoothed grin. It takes you a moment to realize you didn't hear the words so much as you thought them - or, rather, something else thought them into your own brain.

SHIP-BUILDER. WHALE-KILLER. HUMAN. YOUR KIND ARE MISCHIEF MAKERS WHO SWIM AGAINST THE CURRENT, AND CHANGE THE COURSE OF THE SEA IN YOUR WAKE. I KNOW YOU.

"I-I'm not making any mischief, honest," you protest. "We just got stuck is all-"

"it's true!" Calibani shouts. "Sailor is a nice human! They tried to save me even when I was going to eat them!" She clasps her hands together and shouts, "Please, don't hurt them!"

The crocodisle cocks its head to one side, its sharp pupils fixing on Calibani as she stands next to you in the captain's cabin.

A SERPENT? A CHILD OF SYCORAX, NO LESS. YOU TWO ARE AN ODD PAIR.

"Child of Sycorax?" You look at Calibani for an explanation, but she just stares back at you, apparently just as confused as you are.

The crocodisle shifts further, and as it does the sand covering its body begins to break apart and slide off its back and into the water, revealing more of its pale yellow scales.

I WILL FREE YOUR SHIP, HUMAN, IF YOU TELL ME WHAT YOUR BUSINESS IS HERE IN THE SEA.

Well, you got your wish - the giant crocodisle is talking to you. Now you just need to know what to say, and for that, you consult your compass.

(Dialogue time! Pick the topic you'd like to discuss in greatest depth, and feel free to suggest questions for Sailor to ask in the replies.)

[drsp00n]

Enough time has passed and everyone's wrote their thought pieces about it so I'm gonna chip in with a little bit of my own.

NMH3 is kind of ass in spite of its limitations, not because of them. The priorities are all over the place.

The gameplay loop becomes incredibly repetitive very quickly. I've seen people try to play word games about the semantics of a hallway of enemies across multiple screens being the exact same as a gauntlet in one room, but at least the fucking environment changes instead of being the exact maybe 8 rooms over the course of 100 possible battles.

There's little in the realm of unlocks. You can play the game start to finish without even touching the chip crafting system or the stats tree. No new moves, death glove chips or weapons. All you really need is to raise your attack to deal with the same enemies with just a larger health pool later in the game. Your kit doesn't change from start to finish.

The open world does fucking nothing for me. You could have made one map with less to explore but more to interact with, instead of five barren and flat maps with nothing to do. I know why this is, but I'll get to that in a bit.

The narrative is significantly weaker than TSA which is a huge shame. I'm imagining that they didn't want the characters to be so wordy in fully voice acted cutscenes like they were in TSA, but I would have loved to see more of the IBM style cutscenes if it meant getting to know more about the characters. Everyone just feels so underwritten so you have to fill in the blanks with your own preconceived notions and the stereotypes they're supposed to convey, something people give NMH2 shit for doing with its characters.

Fu and Damon are NOT compelling characters, one's a brat and the other one is a boring evil CEO archetype. They have zero depth, and for the time that they do give them on screen, all they do is bitch about Travis or everyone around them. Travis doesn't seem even interested in either of them beyond killing them for being annoying. Badman was just fridged to establish Fu as a threat, as if fucking killing every single civilian wasn't enough.

The stuff with Henry could have been interesting if the story had given it any kind of significance or time to breathe. I'm with Travis on that one, I really don't fucking care anymore. There's a giant space alien ship up there dude, that seems a little more important right now than our sad crybaby backstory that will go nowhere because NMH4 is never getting made.

And lastly, I think this game is the most suffocated by all the pop culture references. The premise of the game is a reference, the intro of the game is a reference, many of the bosses, side missions and characters are references, the final boss is a reference. All of this is cool in small bits, but it makes me feel like NMH3 has no real identity of it's own. Which leads me to this conclusion:

Suda should really have doubled down and made something weird and different again. Instead we got a game that is flanderizing No More Heroes itself. People like the open world of 1, boom, open world. People hated the combat of TSA, here's 100 fights. Look, it's the mowing grass minigame. Look, it's Destroyman. Look, it's Henry. Look it's a Marvel reference. Look, it's a Miike reference.

It just feels like the weakest of all the games to me. It tries to do a lot, and what it does is not very good. I don't hate it, I've beaten it a couple of times. I just feel like it wasted a lot of it's potential appealing to the loud majority instead of just being a smaller but better experience, but that's just me.

[winn-schott-throughtheheart]

Tw: mention of sh

Ok art/headcannon idea:

Depth into Winn’s SH? Because it’s something I struggle with and would like to know ur hcs and/or thoughts on it

But like no rush ofc

okay okay

(tw for the obvious here guys)

so i myself have struggled with sh for like, almost ten years (and still do) so take this from a professional if you will /j ☝️ take everything with a pinch of salt because a lot of this will probably be skewed by my own biases and experiences

I have scars on my upper arms and my thighs, because I roll my sleeves up a lot and i wear shorts a lot these were the places it was easiest for me to hide it. these are naturally where i picture scars on winn, but we see him with short sleeves, like, maybe three times total, so i can believe he has scars further down his arms/elsewhere too.

seriously, with such a shitty upbringing I'd almost find it harder to believe he doesn't have any

he doesn't really consider himself "sober" or "clean" or anything like that. he doesn't have many feelings towards it now, it's been a part of him for so long it's just something that he deals with, same as getting dressed in the morning or paying his bills. he does try not to most of the time, but it's not something he gets too upset about anymore if he doesn't manage it

he doesn't feel like he can quit completely/go cold turkey because very often it's months or even years between episodes

more prone to relapsing during a panic attack or a meltdown, i.e, when he's not exactly in the right frame of mind

he had a few scars on his chest from some angsty transgender teenage times, but they obviously aren't there anymore since he got top surgery (which I hc to be in the 6 month gap between S2 and S3)

part of it is almost cathartic for him? there's a (not so small) part of him that truly believes he deserves the pain of it, its almost comforting since he's so used to feeling physical pain, and its a comfort in a another way because its pain he can control

its a way of letting out big emotions so he doesn't bottle them up and explode like his dad- mostly anger.

it was worse when he was younger and alone, as he grew and met kara and alex and everyone else, he never kicked the habit completely but it shifted to more subtle forms of sh, overworking himself, burning himself out, neglecting his health, etc

alex has some suspicions, but she knows winn well enough to know that she would only make it worse if she were ever to confront him about it

definitely attempted before. maybe that's projection, but again, I'd find it harder to believe he hadn't given how much he bottles up everything he's endured. meeting kara was his reason for living, not because he liked her, but because she was the first person ever who'd shown interest in wanting to get to know him/be his friend

he has some weird patchy/uneven spots of body hair, particularly on his thighs, since hair doesn't grow through scar tissue. he's a little insecure about it because it makes it a lot more obvious since it's not hidden by anything, but there's nothing he can really do about it

brought to you by me, 3 months on testosterone, realising hair is growing on my thighs everywhere that is not scar tissue

winn has a LOT of scars. like, a lot. way more than the average person, and he's elicited quite a few gasps from people seeing him naked for the first time, but there's very very few of them that aren't from some kind of violence- he's got several little ones on his fingers from slipping with a soldering iron or working with sharp metal and plastic, a couple faded ones on his knee and elbow from that time he tripped on the playground when he was a kid.

okay one of these days im going to draw a scar map of him

anyway, sorry i took seven million years to answer this 😅 don't be mad at me. i need way more winn angst/whump in my life actually. i need him bloodied up and on his knees

[mysteryoftwilight]

Closed starter for @multif0rmed !

Shelby would hesitate to say she was good for much. She would readily say she wasn't good at anything, actually. Especially compared to the 'oh, I'll casually cut throw a building made of solid stone and fly around like I have wings' crowd she now found herself associated with (entirely against her will, mind). If there was one thing she was good at, though, it was avoiding notice. Years of being antisocial in a school setting made that a breeze. Unfortunately, it seemed that meant she was also good at sneaking according to that gaggle of idiots. So, she was sent (only mostly against her will) to investigate the remnants of The World That Never Was and recover important information from their servers. Completely on her lonesome, since everyone else was either busy with training or busy with missions to recover lost Keyblade Wielders or whatever Sora was doing.

'Forget Sora,' Shelby thought bitterly as she climbed down another staircase, 'That idiot is probably out somewhere havin' th' time of 'is life, 'nd I'm here, in mortal danger...'

Not that she had much choice now. Ienzo said it would help bring some of the other Nobodies back, and she had little reason to doubt him on it. They would need bodies, and Replicas were apparently the only option there. They needed Even's data, which with no one in a rush to go back to Castle Oblivion (for some reason that no one seemed keen to explain to her), the data in their other castle was chosen as the target. So, instead of relaxing or working on her gummi ship, she walked through the eerily empty and very echo prone halls of the castle, largely defenseless against anything more threatening than a shadow.

"Fuck's sake, a dusk'd probably get me dead to rights..."

She cursed under her breath as she continued down the featureless grey hallways of the Castle That Never Was, looking on her phone at the map the old Organization members had made her (well, they made the map and she designed an app to help her navigate. She had a horrible sense of direction and couldn't read a map to save her life, so it was an essential). Her only light source was the soft glow of her screen and the flashlight on the phone's back. While the castle was mostly broken and the direct route to the server room was blocked off by a collapsed roof or three, whoever designed the castle had the foresight to make it easily accessible from multiple directions to those who couldn't teleport. That knowledge didn't help the sense of unease and paranoia as her footfalls echoed softly up and down the castle's corridors. She'd gone past the more commonly used portions of the castle (the Grey Room, the residential wing, the kitchen) and into the depths. Apparently, the old Organization XIII did some messed up experiments down here and needed the hardline connection to their server to record and easily access their notes. Made sense, but also unnerved her: how many had they performed that they needed a server to hold their notes? Pictures and text files don't take up that much space, surely.

Not that it mattered to her, really. The world was 'asleep' (whatever that meant, she only glanced at the explanatory notes Yen Sid gave her), so she only had to worry about Dream Eaters. Not that she'd seen any since she got here, but that was fine. She'd rather just get in and out; maybe Sora and Riku cleared them all out when they were here last. Ienzo had given her a specifically formatted hard drive that should gather the data from the server quickly enough. Then it was as simple as pulling on her connection with Yen Sid and then she could forget this absolutely idiotic nonsense ever happened... well, after she and Ienzo went over the data, anyway.

"Fuckin'... Couldn't jus' send Aeleus and Dilan, huh? Or Cloud and Leon, or maybe jus' wait 'till Riku came back if it's so goddamn important... What in th' name of Chaos am I supposed t' do if the old goat comes back to look at the data too, huh? Ask him t' politely not look at it?"

'Just keep it cool, Shell.' She reminded herself as she found herself in the server room. According to the three who were there when it happened, the old goat (as she so fondly called him because of his goatee and advanced age) had split because his twelve vessels couldn't stay around for the party or something. 'He prob'ly already has the data easily accessible wherever he fucked off to. Th' leader of a doomsday cult is smart enough to have copies around of important information'.

The sound of a weapon being summoned immediately told her that her life, as per usual, was not going to be easy and actually extremely difficult. Panic rose in her body, and it became a struggle to keep her breathing even. Cold daggers of fear pierced every inch of her body, but she tried to keep herself from trembling. She felt her hairs stand on end, and found herself hoping whoever had decided to make her day worse would at least be reasonable enough to not just immediately stab her. Or shoot her. Or cast magic. Absently, she fiddled with the ring on her right pinky: a handy little piece of artifice that had the Second Chance ability infused into it. An essential for being as substantial as a low level shadow. She didn't make any sudden movements (not that she thought her taser would work on any member of the Organization if she could reach it), instead attempted to remain perfectly still as the silence dragged on.

'if I make it out of here, I'm taking Riku's fuckin' kneecaps...'

"So, I, uh... gonna guess you won't accept 'I was jus' lookin' fer th' restroom' as a reason for being here?" She attempted to break the tension with a poorly conceived joke. For once, she didn't even pick up on her accent being on display. She was more preoccupied with surviving the next sixty seconds. Should she try to make a break for it? She didn't have the stamina for a chase, and she also didn't think it'd work; he probably outsped her fifty times over and then some. She doubted pulling on Yen Sid would work either, instead only serving to lead their enemy right to their defacto base. Could she get them monologuing and sneak away while they're distracted? Maybe...

[emmathefanficgal]

Evening rambling on...

At the moment, beside writing a few shorts for LOTR, I didn't write much. Not even for my modern romance or for my medieval romance. I had a few ideas I wrote down but since then, nothing.

I need to do some research and it is a daunting task. That and editing the story, changing some things, adding the details I find from my research. Among other things, I need to have a better idea of the geography, of the way my people are clothes, trade, laws, rulers and co.

I have the calendar and, even though I was playing very hard with the idea of the ringed world, each time I want to go for it, I remember that I need to add even more things (animals, plants, weather patterns, etc.) that will be impacted by the shadow of the ring.

But a calendar and a vague idea of how they look like or are clothes is not enough. I want something more in-depth. Why are they in conflict? What is the base? Religion? commerce? control of lands? So many things I need to set. That and also the few madmen and women that are in many history.

I know I can just focus on my main characters but I don't feel comfortable if I don't have the whole worldbuilding set in stone. I need a map, distances, duration of travels, way of travels. Limits, mountains, and ocean. Weather patterns, even on a Earth-Like world, need to be known. Where are we? Southern Europe like? Northern? If I add a mountain what will be the impact and so on.

On one side, I really want to do all that. On the other side, if I begin that, I will not write much, even less than now. I have a few shorts hanging, but not sure if I'll finish them. I have a few fanfics that are waiting desperatly for my attention.

Let's just say that the fire is not really burning bright right now. At least, I love dearly the little I write. But I wish I could do more.

We'll see I guess