#i don't have issue with that subject matter now but back then the way i did it was CRINGE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pizzapottah · 6 months ago

Text

legitimacy

summary: “Vaemond Velaryon’s petition holds no sense,” it is said that the Wandering Princess reiterated once she heard of her uncle’s accusations. “My late father always recognised my brothers as his trueborn sons. Whether they look like him or the Baratheon and Arryn side of the family does not matter: they are legitimate.”

pairings: cregan stark x velaryon!reader (no use of y/n), platonic (familial) relationship between the targs/velaryon and reader

word count: 4.5k

warnings: mentions of killing off someone🥰, reader is pro-blackwood, reader has some kind of anger issues, oscar is my babygirl and my babygirl only, language as always

author's note: an update of the heir and the wolf? in this economy? also pls don't comment about tagging, click here and join the taglist so that it's easier for me to tag everyone

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You’re sure you are going to kill every man and woman in the Riverlands till only their fantastic wine — without which you wouldn’t have made it this far — and vineyards remain, so that you can drink in peace without dealing with… the consequences.

Lord Bracken has been sprouting nothing but insults and curses towards the Blackwood family for what feels like the last three hours. He surely hasn’t talked without being interjected, as Alysanne Blackwood has been responding to all his insults with doubled hate.

You stare over at Oscar, sitting beside you, with an unamused expression. “Once we get out of here, I’ll make sure to break your legs in half as punishment for having me subjected to this torture,” you hiss, hand clenching around your goblet. He shrugs. “Didn’t you say to ask you if I ever needed anything? I needed help just this once, or else I would’ve cut my ears two hours ago.”

Of course Lord Tully had to fall ill when there were matters to resolve, leaving his eldest grandson in charge. You wish Kermit was born first, so that you wouldn't have to sit here and hear all of these people complain.

You huff. “Better your ears than my sanity.”

The thing that worries you the most is the fact that they seem to have no intention of stopping yet — and they’ve been going on for ages, accusing each other of heinous crimes committed by their ancestors or something. You’re not quite sure about that, as you’ve stopped listening to their rants about ten minutes in.

You glance at the servant standing by the door of the council chamber, who’s about to turn the hourglass for the fifth time now. When he does, it’ll officially be two hours and a half into them talking about their centuries-long feud. You have to do something, or else you’ll go mad.

You cough loudly, and the two sides of the discussion shut up, looking at you. The table is rectangular and long, wide enough so that nobody can smack the person in front of them with ease. You sit at the end of it, a map of the Riverlands in front of you, Oscar sat to your right. “So,” you start, “have you all got it out of your systems? Can we start now?”

Both sides look at you puzzled, and for a moment you fear they might go back to screaming, but they don’t. “Lord Samwell, Lord Amos, could you both raise your hands for me? I forgot your faces when you started screaming because I thought I was back in Dragonstone with my younger brothers having a tantrum about a toy — they are six and three, by the way.”

Red-faced, both lords raise their hands; Lord Amos is a bit older than Lord Samwell, his face sickly and hair grey, a high contrast to the Blackwood's dark brown hair and plump face. “Good. Now I would like you two to choose a spokesperson that will talk in your places.”

Lord Samwell raises an eyebrow, “Pardon me?” he says, as Lord Amos raises from his seat. “This is an outrage! Why should we choose someone else to talk in our place? We can definitely settle this matter once for all alone!”

You raise an eyebrow at his antics, motioning over a guard to make him stand back down. “Well, if you could settle this matter alone I wouldn’t be there, would I?” you ask him with a short laugh. “Besides– don’t you still have the scar Lord Samwell kindly gifted you back in the days where my mother was looking for a husband? I don’t want the two of you to settle your matters alone if it means someone being stabbed again.”

“We would be perfectly capable of doing it now–”

“Choose a spokesperson or don’t speak, Lord Amos, as you have already talked enough for my likings. The choice is all yours.”

The guard now stands behind him, hand on the pommel of his sword, and the lord begrudgingly sits back down. “I shall name my uncle, Ser Lothar,” Ser Lothar is an old man with white hair and no beard, who looks like he’s seen the rise and fall of all the Gods in the world and death herself.

You don’t say anything, even if you’d like someone who doesn’t look like he’s a night away from dying. “Lord Samwell?”

“My sister, Lady Alysanne,” is his resolute response. Ah, the lady who was screaming at Lord Amos earlier. She's young and thin — no doubt close to your age — with black hair to match a raven's feathers.

“Rubbish!” is Ser Lothar's not-so-smart response. You notice now that he’s missing three teeth and speaks horrendously — as if their accent already isn’t helping. “How old is she? Seven and ten? She should be in the birthing bed, not in this council chamber!”

Everyone stares at him, bewildered — even his own kind. Maybe if you weren’t there, the comment would’ve been overlooked, but seeing as the council was being literally held by a six and ten year old girl, it wasn’t the smartest comment he could’ve made. You can feel from your seat the murderous intent that comes from the Blackwoods — thankfully you made everyone leave their weaponry outside. You just hope nobody has a hidden knife somewhere in their breeches.

“For your information, Ser Lothar,” you speak up before things can escalate, “I am six and ten and perfectly able to run a council on my own. I’m sure Lady Alysanne will manage just fine.”

He squints his eyes at you, like he’s just noticed your presence. “I will be listening to no cunt!”

You blink at Lord Amos, who’s red in the face, as calm as ever. “Would you like to change your mind, Lord Bracken? I’m afraid Ser Lothar will be too preoccupied with being my dragon’s breakfast to be here with us as we discuss this serious matter.”

Lothar screams obscenities as the guards take him away to the courtyard, where Nādrēsy is staying for the time being, and Lord Samwell has a smug look on his face — no wonder happy that his sister has had justice. “Lyle!” Lord Amos roars, making a boy no older than twenty jump from his seat. “Y– yes, my lord!”

You intertwine your fingers in front of you. “Good. Now that the table has been cleaned we can actually start.” you ask them to take the seat of their lords, so that they’re near you and you three can talk more clearly. “I want to make sure that it is clear that I don’t expect your houses to be friends after this council. My only purpose is to end the brotherly blood shedding that in the last centuries has exasperated the Riverlands to the point that Ser Oscar Tully here had to ask for the Crown’s help to put an end to it. I just want your houses to stand each other.”

You sigh, pointing to the map with their territories traced out in front of you; you push it towards them so that they have some reference. “This was the outline of the territories that King Jaheaerys’s ambassador drew the last time there was a council like this. Peace lasted only for about two years — my goal is to make it last at least twenty, so that when the Lords die their heirs are of age.” you darkly jest. Lord Samwell sends a glare to Lord Amos: he was six when his father was killed in a Bracken ambush.

“Obviously, it is not. My goal is to make it last. So, I would like you two to outline the territories that are most important to your houses that as of now are owned by the other. Then we’ll see what we can do about it — see if we can make it a fair exchange to avoid spilling more blood.”

The two nod and immediately get to work. You are surprised to see that they do not speak to each other — not even a little nag or tease. They seem to be more mature than their elders, a thing that strangely you do not find weird at all.

You didn’t expect for it to be an easy negotiation, but Seven Hells if you had underestimated it. They would be competing for the entire Riverlands if there weren’t any other houses, you’re sure about that. And before you know it, it’s been a sennight and you’re still staying in Riverrun, hoping that some god takes pity on you and strikes you down. Sure, you had them choose their spokesperson, but that doesn’t mean the others don’t protest when you say something they don’t like.

“I’m thinking about arranging a marriage,” you say to Oscar one evening.

You’re in the guest chambers, the ones you’re staying in. The chess match in front of you is basically forgotten, replaced by a discussion about peace treaties and ways to stop feuds. Your friend snorts, taking another sip of his wine. “My ancestors have tried before. It always ends up in a massacre before the bride can even receive the groom's cloak.”

You shake your head. “I’m thinking about Olyver Bracken and Alysanne Blackwood.”

He raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “A drunkard and a hunter? Weird choice. Don’t know if I feel like ruining a lady’s promising future.”

“Think about it.” you lean over, elbows on your knees. You take two pawns, placing them on the table. “He is Lord Amos’ heir, and he is useless. Meanwhile, she would be able to run Stone Hedge like it was the fucking Night Watch. We could make them marry, then maybe right after she already gave birth to a boy, an heir… a terrible accident could happen.” you knock down one of the pawns, “A tragic fall from the horse, a bad fever… you name it. And suddenly Lady Bracken is free from her preposterous husband and can raise his heir however she wants.”

You take two other pawns and place them near the others. “Then we marry small Benjicot Blackwood off to Cressida Bracken. They are still young, younger than Olyver and Alysanne; if Cressida is sent to live with the Blackwoods as soon as the engagement is announced, she may not feel the same hate towards him as any other Bracken would.”

You sigh, rubbing your hands together. “Give it twenty years, and the heirs to the Blackwood and the Bracken territories will all be cousins. What kind of cousins would ever start a war against each other?”

Oscar blinks at you. You blink back. “I mean what kind of cousins that aren’t in my family, Oscar.”

“Oooh. Oh, yes, that makes sense now.” he tilts his head to the side, looking at the pawns. “You plan on killing the Bracken guy?”

You shrug. “Only if Alysanne finds him annoying. I would never force the poor girl to stand him, knowing I wouldn’t even be able to wait to have an heir before I got tired of him, so if she manages to do it, I will gift her a new set of arrows and a bow. Closing an eye on his mysterious disappearance would be the least I could do, if the rumours about him are true.”

Hearsays say that he’s insufferable and that he spends more time in brothels than in his own bed, but ultimately he’s pretty defenseless and has gotten his ass beaten in pubs more times than his father is able to count. Oscar snorts, “Let’s see if there’s no carnage during the wedding, then we can actually talk about it.”

The next day comes, and you dread the moment you’ll be sat at that fucking council table again, and will have to announce not only one but two betrothals. It’s for the best, at least, or that’s what you tell yourself when Alysanne Blackwood looks at you like you just sentenced her to death. The whole table protests against your decision, but you’re unremovable, and you’re telling them beforehand just because you feel nice today. Your mother would’ve probably arranged the marriage without telling anyone anything until the day of the wedding.

“You can’t just do that!” Samwell laments, red from anger. It seems he doesn’t like the thought of his sister being married off — quite thankfully, honestly. You’re happy that you’re not the only sister who has brothers who care about her.

“The thing is, Lord Blackwood,” you reply, “that I can and I will. As ambassador to the King my word is his, and I’m sure he would agree with me in this decision. You lot have killed enough men, women and children in this feud of yours; the whole RIverlands are tired, as honestly am I, of hearing of your endless feud and your constant blood spilling. I say we put an end to it.”

They don’t seem to care; they yell at you, then at each other, spitting venom and curses, talking over each other so loudly that you don’t understand anything. You clench your hands, rage rising inside you; you wish you could just make Nādrēsy burn their beloved castles down to the ground and call it a day, so that there aren’t any more territories to fight about, but unfortunately it isn't exactly diplomatic. Is this how your grandsire feels when he holds court?

You stare at the map in front of you; the distribution of the lands has changed, even if the number of acres both families own has basically remained the same. You have either split the territories in question or gave one to the Brackens and another to the Blackwoods, trying to be as fair and equal as you could be — but of course none of them would be happy; they both wanted the other’s whole territory.

You feel like you’re looking after all your little brothers who can’t agree for the life of them. Aegon will say that a toy is his and Viserys will reply that it’s actually his, even though they both have no idea where that toy came from in the first place nor that it was actually yours a decade ago.

“Children!” you shout over the voices of the lords, shutting them up real quick. “You are behaving like children — except you are grown men! And I am disgusted by you all! Your families have been in these lands for centuries, and not only have you never managed to overthrow one another, but you also have to make it everyone’s problem! Aren’t you ashamed? Don’t you have just a bit of remorse for all the suffering your hatred is causing? How many men, women and children have to die before you–”

The door bursts open, a servant barging in, “Princess–!”

“What?” you yell, enraged, turning to look at him. He cowers, trying to make himself as small as he can, knees trembling under your furious gaze. “I… I–”

“Talk before I cut your tongue out and let her talk for you,” you spit. You would never do that, of course, it’s just that you have found in the last few years that a threat here and a threat there get the job done far more quicker and easier.

The servant gulps. “A raven from King’s Landing,” he squeaks, “It’s from Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen.” He hands you the letter and opts to run as fast as he can, away from you, shutting the doors of the chamber behind him.

You look at the letter, confused, only to rip it open and read it. The men at the table watch you intently, hoping that it’s some kind of good news so that your mood lightens up — maybe the princess is pregnant again? Maybe Prince Joffrey has managed to mount his dragon for the first time?

All their hopes are crushed when they see you get redder and redder in the face from anger as you read; if your dragon happened to be in the same room, they are sure that the paper would be burned down to ashes. Oscar leans to your side, peeking at the letter and reading what he can, frowning once he understands what your mother has written. “Wha–”

“A petition!” you roar, outraged. “And they didn’t cut his tongue when he started talking about it!”

“Madness,” Oscar sighs, “pure madness.”

You tear the paper into pieces, making the lords flinch. “The council is dismissed,” you declare. “The terms of the negotiations remain the same; Lord Tully will make sure that you all agree and the deal will be sealed tomorrow. Or else,” you lean down, placing your hands on the table, “I’ll come back once my matters are settled in King’s Landing and make sure that you all agree, in one way or another.” The threat is subtle, but they all understand that if they refuse to bend to the treaty, you’ll visit them in their beloved lands — with your very hungry dragon, surely.

As the lords start to leave the room, you look over at Oscar, “You’re coming to King’s Landing with me.”

He blinks, “I am?”

You snort, unamused. “You are. Vaemond Velaryon’s petition holds no sense, as my late father always recognised my brothers as his trueborn sons. Whether they look like him or the Baratheon and Arryn side of the family does not matter: they are legitimate. I’ll need you to keep me sane during the whole ordeal, Oscar. My ears did not bleed without a price during the last sennight.”

“But I’ve had no time to prepare– gods, let me fetch the servants, they need to start preparing my bags–”

“Tell them to bring your finest dresses and gowns,” you grunt, “wouldn’t want you to make a bad impression to the whole court, my dear Lady Oscar. Where else will you go to search for a husband otherwise?”

You shake your head right after, not in the mood to jest, “Be fucking serious, Oscar; bring a change or two and let it be done. We’re not going to King’s Landing to have fun, it’s a trial.” your expression is dark, stare truce. “And a death sentence, if we’re lucky.”

Your mother will never make it out of the trial unscathed is the green wench sits or her father sit on the throne; she needs you. She made that very clear in the letter, and you have no intention in turning your back on her.

Oscar departs immediately, calling for the servants and his brother Kermit, and you follow right after, not surprised to find Lady Alysanne Blackwood out of the room, waiting for you. Even if she was half as smart and hard headed as you thought her to be, she’d probably still be waiting out the council room to talk to you about the half-wit she would marry per your orders. Poor girl.

“If you wish to talk, we can do so as we head to my rooms,” you say before she can open her mouth, “I have matters in the King's Landing to tend to, and I can’t afford to waste time.”

She grimaces, “Didn’t you come here to attend this council? Weren’t you here to help our families?”

“First of all, I was ambushed by Ser Oscar,” you clarify, “Second, yes, I was. And I did.”

She looks downright haunted. “You are a woman,” she murmurs. “You are a woman and you have sold me as no man had ever dared to do before.”

“You were bound to be sold off, Lady Alysanne,” you reply, tone calm. You can imagine her rage right now, but she must know that with her place in her family, she could have never possibly found the freedom she surely wants. You understand that by not living in the Crownlands, she had more hope for her future, with the freedom she was clearly given growing up; but you have grown in the Crownlands, and you have seen younger girls being married off to worser men without being able to escape. “I just did the honors.”

“I will slash my neck open before that brute can even think of touching me,” she boldly says.

It makes you stop to take a better look at her. She’s tall, taller than you, and a tad bit older. It’s kind of sad to see her with tears in her eyes. “I know what an unhappy marriage is,” you inform her. “In the Keep we’re full of them. My own mother was in one with my father.”

You lower your voice, leaning your head, “But you have me on your side. And I wouldn’t be against… a little violence.” at her confusion, you explain yourself. “I wouldn’t refuse to turn a blind eye to a hunting accident, let’s say.” At her joyous face, you relent, “Not on the night of the wedding, Alysanne! At least we need one heir, or the feud will never end. Lord Bracken is old and sick, and it’ll be a year or two before he dies, hopefully — I'll see if I can help the process go faster. Then his son might accidentally die, too, oh, he was so young, leaving his pain struck wife and son behind,”

She snorts, “A tragedy, wouldn’t it be?”

You laugh grimly. “Ohh, you get it.”

“What’s this smell?” Oscar yells over your shoulder, trying to make himself heard over the sound of the wind and the flapping wings of your dragon.

“That’s the capital for you!” you reply, already missing the fresh air of the RIverlands. “The weather doesn’t help Flea Bottom’s odour. It’s been like this since forever.”

He gags, “Don’t understand how you manage. Smells like piss.”

You shrug, “You get used to it. Trust me, there’s lords in court who smell far worse than Flea Bottom does,”

Nādrēsy roars unhappily: a full day of travel and it’s only to get back into the dirty streets of King’s Landing. You lightly slap his side, yelling over his laments, “Ilagon, valītsos!” Down, boy!

Oscar, behind you, shakes like a leaf as your dragon replies by roaring with vigor — no doubt, that equals to at least ten curses in dragon’s language. “How can you talk to him like that? He’s going to eat you alive one of these days and you won’t be able to do anything about it.”

You snort. “I’d like to see him try.”

The Dragon Pit is more animated than usual: some Keepers are holding back Vermax, who screeches and spits fire, while others bring Syrax back in her cave, her belly swollen, her step slow and cautious. Caraxes follows right behind, shaking his wings to throw the dirt off of them.

The Keepers greet you and your dragon, sending a weird glance towards Oscar. One of them — Kilya is her name, you believe — comes near, shouting so that you can hear her. “Īlin umbagon syt ao, dārilaros.” she says, “Aōha muña gīmēdegon īlva hen aōha māzigon.” We were waiting for you, Princess. Your mother warned us of your arrival.

You nod; you had no time to reply to her raven, but she must’ve guessed that there was no way you wouldn’t have come. “Se eman māstan.” And I have arrived, “Gūrogon Nādrēsy naejot zȳhon ripo, eman gaomon naejot imāzigon.” Bring Nādrēsy to his cave, I have matters to attend.

You help Oscar get off; he yelps as the chains around his ankles are unfastened and yells as you help him down, where the Keepers promptly catch him before he falls on his backside. You jump off your dragon’s back, landing perfectly fine, and opt to pat roughly Nādrēsy’s back, just as he likes it. “Sȳz sōvegon, valītsos.” Good fly, boy. He roars back happily.

“I’ll never understand that language,” Oscar mutters, standing back up straight, a frown upon his face. “It’s like you don’t want your secrets to be known. Why won’t you teach me High Valyrian?”

“Iksis ziry doru-borto?” the Keeper asks. Is he stupid? You shake your head, then think about it and snort, relenting. “Mērī mirrī.” Only a little.

Your friend pouts, sticking out his tongue at you. “Is that what I get for being your bestest companion?”

You laugh, walking off the Pit and to the entrance, where a carriage is promptly and not surprisingly waiting for you. “My bestest companion? Didn’t know you had wings and were named Nādrēsy.”

He gasps, dramatically grasping his chest, “You wound me!”

You both get in the carriage, and you look at him seriously. “Before we enter the Red Keep, there are some rules you must abide by.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Rules? I was raised well, you know, I shouldn’t need those. I hope the King knows that.”

You shake your head, “No, those are my rules for you. Let’s say that it’s what you’ll need if you want to go back home unscathed from the Keep’s snakes.”

Oscar gulps, “Go on.”

“First, don’t talk to the Queen. Then don’t talk to her sons unless I’m in the room. Avoid Larys Strong — he’s the guy with the crippled leg and the corpse face, you’ll know it’s him instantly — and avoid the councilmen.”

“What, you want to keep me a secret?” he asks, bewildered. “Is there someone I’ll be able to talk to? Is there a reason why I have to avoid all these people?” he gasps, “Am I your whore? Is that why you want to keep my mouth shut?”

“If you were my whore, I’m pretty sure I would want your mouth wide open and working,” you mutter, “but no, that is not why. Truth is I would rather make sure that you stay out of their claws; it’s better to keep away from their schemes.”

The actual truth is that you don’t want them to speculate something about history repeating — your mother was already rumored to have a lover from the Riverlands; the last thing this family needs is another princess said to have an affair with yet another lover from the Riverlands. They would wonder if it actually was some kind of preference that was passed down from mother to daughter, and even if the only thought of being attracted to Oscar makes you laugh, you’re sure the councilmen definitely wouldn’t be amused by it.

“Besides, you can talk to Mushroom,” you add.

“Who’s Mushroom?”

“The court’s jester. He’s insufferable, small and will try to steal your gold, but you can talk to him.”

Your friend grimaces, “Why do you keep him in the castle if he steals the lords’ gold?”

You shrug, “He makes me laugh.”

Slowly, the carriage rattles to a halt, a page opening the door for you. “Ready to see the Red Keep for the first time?”

He nods, “Ready to face your evil step-grandmother?”

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mullermilkshake · 6 days ago

Text

Realisation is a fucking eyesore

Part 20 <- Part 21 -> Part 22

The aftermath is excruciating. Jinwoo gets your true perspective.

Yandere!Jinwoo Sung x Fem Pregnant!reader Tags - Mentions of potential self harm, Yandere thoughts/behaviours, Mental health, Body horror (eyes)

<<< For more Dark/Yandere content, click this link to go back to the Masterlist! >>>

<<< Or back to this fic's Master list. >>>

I have only watched the anime and haven't gotten round to reading the manhwa yet. Please refrain from spoilers.

TAG LIST CLOSED

“How could he not have known she was in there?”

Jong-in was a fucking idiot.

“He was embarrassed when he got here.” You defended him. “He said he looked here already, three times and called, then he saw all the missed calls from his phone. Just the wrong place, wrong time.”

Were you still punishing Jinwoo for the way he behaved? Sure he did something he never should have done to you, but you were incredibly forgiving of Jong-in's behaviour. And that was fucked up.

“I guess… but if it were me, I would have found you immediately.”

You nodded, rubbing your arms for warmth over your little jacket. “I know that, but Jong-in isn’t you, he doesn’t have your resources. I wouldn’t give him too much of a hard time. Hae-in’s back with him, and safe. That’s all that matters right now. But what I’m concerned about is what’s going on in that place. That’s what we should be thinking about.”

Jinwoo slipped his jacket off to settle over your shoulders, he listened out for your quiet ‘thank you’. He was suspicious of why you had changed your tune so suddenly. You were worried about getting Hae-in out, yes. But the overall subject came across as moot from you, Jinwoo couldn’t understand it.

As much as he was happy you didn’t cause issues, he was expecting more of a fight or disruption. Had your will and independence melted into the pavement in the ten minutes he was gone? Or perhaps Jong-in said something to you while Jinwoo was away?

Jinwoo could just imagine a big, grand gesture at your feet, Jong-in only coming because you called him and had nothing to do with Hae-in. No… you weren’t dense to it, even if you were oblivious to the way Jong-in felt towards you. After everything you said to him in the apartment, you wouldn’t bend to outside influences so easily.

“What do you think is going on?” Jinwoo took your hand like a lifeline.

“I-I don’t know…” You said. “The whole thing is odd, hearing her so frantic, so sure that this is what’s going on. I don’t know what to believe. What did the doctor say?”

“She was pretty sure that Hae-in wanted to hurt herself. That’s the gist of it anyway.”

“Fucking hell… You don’t think she would have, right?” Was that all you would say on the matter?

“To be honest, I’m not sure.” Jinwoo decided to take a different approach “She was really distressed. It was a bit strange though, right? I’ve never seen Hae-in like that.”

“I know, it’s taken a moment to process it, I just wanted her out of there. After having time to think about it, I definitely won’t be going back inside that place… sorry I freaked out.”

“It’s alright, just take a step back and remember that you’re pregnant. You can’t go stressing yourself like that.”

Something wasn’t right.

“I know. I wasn’t thinking… it’s just seeing her like that- I want to blame baby brain, but I can’t, can I?”

What the hell was going on with you? “You’re incredibly blase about this.”

You slowed for a second, wide eyed in his jacket where the cuffs dangled past your fingers. “I’m not-“

“You are. If anything that Hae-in said was true, we have a bigger problem on our hands. Our babies could be at risk and you’re acting like we just went out for coffee or something, what’s wrong?”

“No, Jinwoo, it’s not like that. Please don't-“

“Then what is it?”

“If I think about what she said, and it turns out to be true, I can’t bear it!” You halted in the middle of the pathway, ripping your hand from his in a fit of defiance. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this while also trying to be strong for Hae-in, then you yank me out of there and make what is already a terrifying thought closer to reality! I’m terrified already, Jinwoo, I don’t need another thing on my plate right now…” You sniffled into his jacket in an attempt to hide yourself. “As soon as I heard those words, my heart broke, but if I’m supposed to become a mom, then how can I panic in front of the babies? They feel everything I do, I can’t hide any of it!”

The mana spike coming from you pulsed the strongest it had ever done thus far in the pregnancy. Still, Jinwoo challenged you. He wanted answers.

“So you’d rather ignore it?” In hindsight, it was a dick move stressing you out just to get answers.

“No! I just need to deal with it in my own way. I- just forget about it, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Wait.” Jinwoo grabbed your wrist to stop you leaving, you didn’t resist much. “Then help me to understand, because we can’t be falling apart right now. Baby please, not after all this tonight. We’re on our own and we shouldn’t be at each other's throats. The association’s left us to our own devices so we have to decide how to move forward.”

“I feel guilty. Okay? I feel guilty that I even entertained the idea of going in there. I put my trust in the institution that’s accepted us for who we are and our abilities, and they’re up to something shady. Something we can't see.”

Your eyes were wet, tearfully dripping down your shirt, you rubbed your belly like any mother-to-be would. “What if that were me in that bed and I went there willingly just like Hae-in did? What if they really want to take her baby? What if I’m next? Or there’s the next harsh possibility that Hae-in is sick and she’s seeing things. Thinking dangerous things. Is that why she’s saying they want to take her baby away? I don’t know. And it’s killing me.”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault.”

“So why can’t I stop feeling guilt? Why am I trying to ignore everything I saw in there so that I might feel a little better? I’m a terrible person… A terrible person who just wants to be with you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I pulled something like this and you left me-“

“I wouldn’t do that.” Jinwoo did not let go in fear you’d run away from him and he’d never catch back up. You were making leaps and bounds properly in his direction and admitting what he wanted to hear for the first time. “We’ve been through this already. Don’t say things like that. I’ll never leave you… And you’ll never be in Hae-in’s position because I’d burn the whole association down before that happened.”

Should he say it?

“I’d kill before that happened.”

Shaking your head never swayed him, you wiped away the wet from your face with the jacket sleeve. “One day you might think differently, and that thought terrifies me if I think about it.”

“I won’t- why are you thinking like that?”

Where were you going with this? Why did it sound like a break up? Jinwoo wouldn’t allow that, he couldn’t. But as he stood there watching you, his heart pushed his brain to assume the worst with something he couldn't control, even as the S-Rank he was.

“The last twenty four hours have been ridiculous. And with each second that passes, I can’t get it out of my head that we’re getting married at some point… and when I think of that, it comes over me like ocean waves, but the tide’s coming in now.”

“What does that mean?”

This is it, she’s done with me. It’s how this goes, right?

“It means that I’m evolving, Jinwoo.” That could mean you were finished with him. “And it’s getting to the point that I can’t think of my future where you’re not in it. God, this is crazy! My head is all over the place, but if I did things all over again, I’m convincing myself that I’d do all of this again and I can’t put a reason to it.”

“So… you’re not breaking up with me.”

“What?! No!” You pulled him into an embrace as close as you could and the babies mana fluctuations ceased. “Why would you think that?”

“I just- look, I think we tackled this wrong.”

“I wouldn’t break up with you over this.” Your eyes were glossy as though they’d tear up again at the next word. “Things are happening so fast and my emotions and feelings are constantly changing… if anything, tonight has shown me just how far you’re willing to go and how much you care for me.”

Jinwoo exhaled one long breath, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “I care more than you know. Fuck- I’m so sorry for what I did, I just needed you out of there as soon as possible in case things got bad. I know I left Hae-in on her own, but here’s the ugly truth.”

He prepared to get hit in the face by the way the night had gone, but who was keeping score now?

“You are more important to me. If I had to choose between you and Hae-in, I’d choose you everytime. Everything comes as a second thought when you’re involved. That’s how much you mean to me. I didn’t forget about Hae-in, but your safety is paramount. Our babies safety is crucial.”

When it came to silence, Jinwoo just kept talking.

“I’m so sorry I shouted, and I wish I could take back how I handled the situation. I didn’t mean to hurt you, or put my hands on you. I just didn’t know what to do, and I went into autopilot.”

You did not slap him, nor shout, just gave him those beautiful doe eyes he loved so much. “Look, if it were any other situation, I would have been pretty turned on with you pulling me about like that, but please don’t do it again… That being said, I’m sorry I just buried my head in the sand and tried to deal with it on my own…”

“Baby, don’t apologise-”

“The truth is, Jinwoo… I’m really not okay. I haven’t been for a while and I think tonight just tipped me over the edge so that I shut down instead of opening up to you.” You looked down the street away from his gaze and anywhere else that wasn’t on him. “The thought of something like tonight happening to me is too real and I’m terrified all over again, it’s one vicious cycle and I don’t know how to tackle it.”

“Then we do it together. I won’t know unless you tell me everything… You can trust me, I hope you know that- like really know that.”

If you came to Jinwoo tonight after having killed someone, he’d take care of the body himself without so much as an acknowledgement that you’d even done anything illegal.

“I do... My emotions and thoughts are all over the place at the best of times. I know I shouldn’t wish it away, but I really can’t wait until I’m not pregnant anymore and the twins are here. I want to feel like me again. And with all this on top, I want- seriously, I don’t know what to think.”

Jinwoo rubbed your baby bump, secretly hoping that those S-Rank babies were good at telepathy or something, sending messages to them to try and not go so hard on their mom and calm down on the whole mana absorption thing.

Nothing changed.

Okay, so the babies aren’t telepathic, noted.

“Anyway… enough about all that. What are we going to do about Hae-in and Jong-in?” You linked your hand with his and continued walking back home.

As far as Jinwoo was concerned, Jong-in could kick rocks for all he cared. And Hae-in? Well, she wasn’t Jinwoo’s priority either. But now, Jong-in had a reason not to be around you with Hae-in being the way she was. While too dark to admit out loud, Jinwoo understood that this couldn’t have gone any better for him.

Jong-in was distracted, the association had knelt to Jinwoo due to the engagement, the association doctor backed off pretty quickly and seemed to understand that his threats left nothing to ambiguity.

And lastly, he was going to marry you and keep you close. At last.

Even so, he couldn’t expressly state that to you, could he?

“I think we play it as it goes, the long game. We keep our ears to the ground and wait to see if we pick anything up. We’re halfway there and you need plenty of rest to grow our babies. So let me deal with it, yeah? I don’t want you worrying anymore, I’ll handle everything.”

“That’s a lot on your shoulders, Jinwoo.”

“Let me worry about that, just focus on yourself and stay stress free. I have a feeling that it’ll all work itself out if we let it.”

“How do we do that?”

The only thing he really could do. Sit and wait.

Jinwoo would investigate wit ha hard head if he didn’t have you and the twins to think about. If he went to far too soon, you’d see his darker side for what it was, and you’d run away from him. If he sat back too much, the association would go unchecked like a festering sore.

Things would be so much easier if I just wiped them all away out of existence.

Jinwoo had no choice but to stick with the not-so-happy median. “If there really is something shady going on, then we let the association hang themselves with their own betrayal.”

And then Jinwoo would burn them all.

“And what if it’s all a misunderstanding?”

“Then it’ll all calm down once Hae-in is settled and Jong-in takes control of his end of things.”

Or just gets his head out of his ass and quits talking to my fiancé, full stop.

“And that doctor in the meantime? I still have to go to my appointments. And then there’s labour and everything else- oh my god… this is a shit show.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll deal with her. Something tells me that she won’t be an issue now. I attached a shadow to her just in case. But… it’s odd, I’m not getting anything from it, like the shadow keeps getting lost. Yet she has no mana, and I couldn't see any aura… It’s something to take into account, I’ll keep an eye on it.”

If she became an issue, Jinwoo would burn her eyes right out of the sockets.

“Really? That is odd.”

“Don’t overthink it, baby.”

“Ugh… I still can’t get over how weird this night has been. The twins are kicking like crazy, it’s making my stomach flutter.”

Jinwoo smiled, shoving away the dark stuff for just a moment. “See? They’re trying to tell you to take a deep breath and-”

Your stomach rumbled.

“No wait, I think I’m just hungry.”

“Yeah, I think you are.”

“These cravings will be the death of me.”

And then you laughed, more like cackled in the street after the long night now behind you. Jinwoo couldn’t stifle his amusement either, his shoulders bouncing at the little slice of life amidst the darkness.

The darkness he’d make even darker if the association tried to test him further.

Part 20 <- Part 21 -> Part 22

Thank you for reading and all of the support on this fic! ❤️ Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated and I appreciate you all! See you next time 🤗

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DISCLAIMER - Crossposted from my AO3 - I do not own any of the characters or anything from the anime or manhwa. This is a work of fan fiction and is absolutely not representative of the views or intentions of the original creator(s).

Also please don’t post any of my work without permission thank you!

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hexhomos · 6 months ago

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Kiss on the check accepted! :3c

And your response reminded me of a detail I always pick up on rewatches but hadn't fully untangled yet—in the flashback of her childhood, Mel steps into that broken throne room with blood still drying on it. At Ambessa's prompting, Mel goes right into talking about how to renovate the place. "Paint the walls gold"...like gilding over the horrors of conquest that got that power in the first place.

And when she describes the regent they should have, she finishes with, "she should be pliant, so we can mold her." That IS what she was doing with Jayce, slowly, over a decade, and then quickly through Acts 2 and 3.

And then in the scene, after Mel finishes describing a "pliant" regent who can be molded, her mother suggests MEL could be that regent. Young Mel is excited at the idea, entirely missing the implication that she too would be an asset of her mother's reign.

That's why she takes off her Medarda ring right before casting her vote for Zaun's independence. She's finally realized she's just as subject to her mother's games as anyone else and Chooses to stop working in the interests of her family's power.

And augh, I wish her s2 plotline hadn't taken her out of Piltover so we could have seen more of the spycraft against Ambessa she was up to in Arc 1. I can't help but think of how much stronger her confrontation with Ambessa would have been if we had a full season of "daughter works against mother" instead of just a few scenes and a lot of getting kidnapped. More ambiguity with Leblanc would've been great too instead of her killing Elora to say hello.

[continued from here]

EXACTLY the way they shafted the politics in s2 (specifically so they wouldn't need to have hard conversations) genuinely had a negative impact in the ENTIRE story. The systematic horrors were downplayed and plotlines were dropped with very short acknowledgements - this is why we get people complaining about the jayce/mel breakup scene "coming out of nowhere" despite the fact that it made perfect sense for these characters!!!!!! It was just too short and they changed the subject too quickly, so we don't have TIME to think about the economic issues again.

It's so clear to me that jayce, viktor, ekko, mel (each representing a diff political facet. curious!) etc were carefully removed from the actual real world so we never have to analyze or push back against the notion that cait/ambessa are doing a hostile military coup and HAVE gotten people killed, imprisoned, and tortured en masse. So they can neatly resolve all of the plot with an avengers-style montage and never talk about the stuff with real world implications. There is no war in piltover and zaun. Just a cartoony last second villain. We just need to unite to protect... piltover...? And now viktor is randomly forgetting his proud zaunite commie stance and teaming up with the imperial invaders that were plaguing the earth moments ago........? We never talk about the class inequality ever again? Forget everything. Nothing ever matters.

The end result was that we spent far less time with these characters and they ended up being pretty underdeveloped. I know this happened for marketing reasons, its so incredibly clear aspects of the story were dumbed down so they could sell more ingame skins or pitch new champions, and that was seen as more valuable and desirable for the company than politicking - because at heart riot don't care about the political stuff anyway. But it still makes me throw my hands up in the air. such an asspull

In a reality where we had enough time and investment to touch on this, Mel could have actually gotten to push back against ambessa/cait and directly deal with the consequences of her actions. SEVIKA could have gotten a proper payoff for her underground character arc, instead of vanishing halfway through and then randomly accepting a diversity hire seat on the council (insanity. that was insanity) Ekko and the firelights would have obviously played a key role in rallying people against ambessa and helping Jinx recover from her displacement crisis (sorry isha, but even you could have been better used as part of the firelights dilemma) Jayce's mounting disillusionment with piltover and his loyalty to Viktor would be much better explored if they were still in conversation about the cities, the world they wanted to help, and the chaotic blurry lines of personhood/citizenship that decide who is an 'acceptable' target under the fist of the state. Vi could have built a self-reliant identity for herself, something better to fight for that isnt 'being a cop'. This show could've been awesome. I wish it existed

#arcane #meta tag #mel medarda #ambessa medarda #jayce talis #viktor arcane #ekko arcane #jinx arcane #sevika arcane #vi arcane #caitlyn kiramman #jayvik #hexposts #league of legends #jayce league of legends #jayce lol

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cutielando · 2 months ago

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she's all i wanna be 2.0 | lando norris

synopsis: in which you need some reassurance from your boyfriend

a/n: based on this request! this is basically another version of she's all i wanna be, but more focused on their conversation and Lando reassuring reader. it can be read as a standalone. i don't know if this what you had in mind, but i hope you still like it!!

pairing: lando norris x insecure!reader

my masterlist

The Monaco lights were shining brightly over the sleeping city, casting a cold glow on Lando's apartment.

He was yet to arrive home, having gone out with his team to a dinner bash with their sponsors.

Which meant that she was also there, while you were wallowing in your sweats and Lando's hoodie, wrapped up in your thoughts.

It was late, pushing almost 10:30 pm, and you were curled up on the couch with your arms wrapped tightly around your knees, a fluffy blanket draped over your shoulders.

You were staring at the floor, not taking in anything that was happening around you as the same thoughts swirled around in your mind over and over again.

She's so much better than me.

She's so much prettier than I could ever be.

She fits into his world much better than I ever would.

You deserve to be with someone like her, not someone like me.

We should break up.

She was effortless. Her perfect hair, her perfect body, her perfect confidence in herself. She fit right in Lando's world, right in with the people that Lando surrounded himself with, the kind of woman who would never doubt her place in his life.

You, on the other hand, felt like an outsider. A girl who somehow stumbled upon him and found herself in his orbit, unsure if you truly had a place in his life.

You didn't know where these thoughts were coming from. Lando had never given you a reason to think that he might be unfaithful or that he might want someone else other than you.

But how could you possibly believe that when people like her existed? How could believe that Lando would continue to choose you over anyone else when he was surrounded by women like her?

No, it wasn't possible. No matter how much you wanted to convince yourself that your thoughts were only that, thoughts.

You were so wrapped up in your own head that you hadn't even heard your phone go off with a message from Lando saying that he was on his way home, you didn't even hear the front door unlock and Lando getting home.

You were zoned out, somewhere far away from the place you currently were.

"Babe?" Lando called out as soon as he hung his coat in the hall and put his keys in the bowl next to the entrance door.

When he didn't hear anything, he started looking around the apartment, ultimately finding you in the living room, seemingly staring off into space.

"Y/N?" he called out once again, now much closer to you than he had been before.

No response.

Lando furrowed his eyebrows, concern slowly seeping into his body. He put down his phone and slowly kneeled in front of you, putting his hands on your knees and squeezing lightly.

"Y/N, love" he said, his voice now much quieter and careful.

You suddenly jerked back and came back to reality, your eyes looking around you confusedly for a second before landing on Lando, who was now rubbing soft and soothing circles on the skin of your knees.

"Hey, love. Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes desperately searching yours for an answer, an indication as to what was going on inside your head.

You swallowed, quickly contemplating whether it was worth bringing up the subject at all, but ultimately decided against it.

"Yeah, I'm fine" you said, attempting to give him a reassuring smile, but judging by the look on his face, you had failed miserably.

Lando sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat.

He knew you oftentimes tended to get lost inside of your own mind, and nothing good ever came of those times, but he knew better than to let the the issues go unspoken about.

Lando exhaled softly, shifting himself so he was sitting on the couch next to you. He took one of your hands in his, his grip tightening while his fingers weaved through yours.

"Love, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's going on with you?" he asked, his voice and tone still soft and kind.

You hated it when he would be like this, coaxing every trouble out of you almost naturally. He could read you like an open book, always being able to understand what you were feeling better than you could.

It sometimes scared you how well he knew you, but other times you loved him even more for it.

You exhaled loudly, squeezing your eyes tightly willing yourself not to break down and cry in front of him.

But your brain had other plans, and the words slip out anyway before you could even register what was happening.

"Why me, Lando?" the question was simple, yet it bare so much pain and self-doubt.

There is a brief pause in which neither of you spoke. You were holding your breath in anticipation, the burden of the question hanging gravely in the air, pressing against your chest heavily.

Meanwhile, Lando didn't know how to react or what to say. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to answer a question he didn't even understand whence it was coming from, but a question that seemed like it meant everything to you?

How?

"What do you mean, love?" he asked, his voice no louder than a whisper, but you could clearly hear the confusion behind his words.

Your throat tightened, your brain working overtime in order to find the right words to describe what you were feeling.

"I mean, there are so many girls out there," you started with a shaky breath, feeling the weight of every single insecurity settle over your body like a blanket. "Prettier girls, skinnier girls. Girls who fit into your world, who know how to properly handle all of this," you motioned vaguely towards the luxurious apartment in which you were currently residing, to the lifestyle that feels worlds away from what you're used to. "Girls who don't feel like they're constantly competing with someone else for your attention"

Lando's face softens instantly, his concern briefly replaced with a knowing of what was going on.

His grip on your hand tightened slightly, like he's afraid you might slip away from him at any moment.

"Competing?" he repeats, like the world itself physically pains him. "Baby, you don't ever have to compete with anyone"

"It doesn't feel that way" you said, letting out a humorless laugh while also shaking your head.

Lando shifts on the couch so that he's fully facing you, his hands sliding up to cup your face. His touch is impossibly gentle, thumbs stroking your cheekbones.

"You are it for me, Y/N. You are the only one I will ever want to share my life with" he murmurs, his voice full of so much sincerity it made your chest ache and tears fall down your cheeks.

"She's everything I'm not, Lando" you said, your lip wobbling and your voice cracking.

Lando lets out a soft breath, shaking his head.

"Good, because I don't want her. I only want you" he said, his tone so firm that, for a second, it caught you off guard.

You try to look away, but he wouldn't let you. His fingers lifted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze, his green-ish eyes filled with nothing but love and adoration for you.

"I love you because you're not like everyone else, Y/N" he continues, his voice unwavering. "I love that you get nervous before my races and play with my bracelets when you're overthinking. I love the way your nose scrunches up when you don't like something, or the way you always make fun of me when I mess up on Tarkov" a small smile tugged at his lips, like he was remembering every moment as he spoke. "I love that you laugh at my dumb jokes when nobody else does. I love that you make me feel normal when the rest of my world is, well, insane"

A tear slipped down your cheek, but he caught it with thumb before it could fall too far.

"I love you" he murmured, like it's the easiest thing in the world for him. "Just you, always you. Just the way you are"

You let out a shaky breath, and his smile softens at that, if it could be possible.

"I love you too" you whispered, your voice soft and broken.

"Can you do something for me?" he asked, his voice now a soft whisper.

You hesitated for a second before ultimately nodding, albeit hesitantly.

"Stop comparing yourself to her, or anyone else for that matter. You don't see yourself the way I see you" he said gently.

"And how do you see me?" you asked, swallowing hard.

"As the best thing that's ever happened to me" he said, leaning in and pressing his forehead against yours.

A fresh wave of tears pricked at your eyes, but this time, they were not from doubt or sadness. They were from something much warmer, something softer that felt like love wrapping around your heart and squeezing you tightly.

Your arms looped around his neck, pulling him close to you. His scent, familiar and comforting, surrounded you as his arms wrapped around your waist, holding onto you like you were the most precious thing in the worls.

Which to him, you were.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, you know. You're stuck with me forever, whether you like it or not, might as well get used to it" he teased you, his voice muffled against your shoulder.

You huffed out a little laugh, the first real laugh of the night and in a very long time.

"Forever? You promise?" you asked, your voice small as your heart needed to hear it coming from his mouth, a vow that would bind himself to you for the rest of time.

"Forever" he confirmed, squeezing you even tighter against him. "And I'll spend every single second of it reminding you just how much I love and appreciate you"

And for the first time in what felt like a long time, you believed him.

Because you loved him more than anything, just like he loved you.

And maybe that was enough.

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makeitmingi · 26 days ago

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When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 23]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.3K

To be honest, you didn't think Hongjoong would take your passing comment seriously. The second day of the week that you were supposed to go for work at the house, Hongjoong told you not to come for work. He wanted to take you out on a date.

"But I have work! Work for your house." You said to him as you sat in the car after he picked you up. You didn't have an 'issue' with going out on a date with him, it just felt wrong to do it on a work day.

"You're already in the car, just enjoy the date." He chuckled.

"I know and I'm not questioning that I'll enjoy what you planned but maybe I can convince you to detour to the house." You chuckled.

"Besides, weren't you the one who said that the garden is fine that you don't even need to come over that often anymore?" He reminded with a teasing smile.

"I said the garden was getting there, it's not there yet. You took me way too seriously." You scoffed.

"I always take what you say seriously." Hongjoong raised his eyebrows at you before turning back to focus on driving.

"So... where are we going?" You turned to look out the window, changing the subject to hide how flustered you were by his words. Hongjoong smiled, knowing he got a reaction out of you.

"You'll see. It's a nice place, don't worry." He assured.

"I'm not worried." You rolled your eyes. Honestly, you were happy to go anywhere with Hongjoong. But you noticed that the buildings were slowly disappearing and all you saw were trees. You realised that Hongjoong was bringing you somewhere in the countryside or just out of the city.

"The weather is great here." You smiled. Seeing that there were no cars, Hongjoong slowed the car down to put down the hood of the car, having put it up earlier when it started to drizzle.

"Wow." You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. The fresh air of nature was something you loved.

"We're not even there yet." Hongjoong reminded.

"Doesn't matter, I'm already loving it." You giggled. Hongjoong was relieved he chose the right place for your first official date. Okay, with help from the others.

"Now, we're here." Hongjoong parked the car within the gravel space and came around to open the door for you.

"Thank you." You smiled and got out.

"How did you find this place?" You looked at the little old house that was a little restaurant. It wasn't crowded and looked rather hidden. Plus, you didn't think a lot of people would drive out here for that.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." He winked and locked the car. After that, he guided you towards the restaurant.

"Reservation for 2, under Kim Hongjoong." He told the older lady, who came out to greet the two of you warmly. You assumed that she was the owner here. She nodded and led the two of you to a table right by the big open window.

"Is this seat alright?" She asked, looking up at Hongjoong.

"It's perfect." Hongjoong smiled at her with a bow of his head. He knew it was right when you just stood there, staring out into the scenary of fields and flowers.

"I didn't even know a place like this existed so close to Seoul." You turned to Hongjoong.

"We can come back whenever you want. It's good to get away from the city every now and then." He said, pulling the chair out for you.

"I'd really like that." You sat down and he took the seat opposite you. The lush fields, trees and greenery was amazing. You wished you could look at this forever.

"Here you go." The lady came back with menus.

"Are you enjoying the view, miss?" She asked, noticing how you could barely tear your eyes away to look at the menu.

"I am. I love it. You're very lucky to be able to see this everyday." You smiled at her. She chuckled and nodded in agreement with your words before leaving you and Hongjoong to browse the menus.

After choosing some appetisers to share and your individual mains, as well as some drinks, the lady came to take your order. You looked around the restaurant, the house was old but it was well maintained and cozy. It almost felt like you were eating in someone else's house and not a restaurant.

"I take it you're impressed?" Hongjoong tilted his head.

"I am. But you know, Hongjoong, I don't mind where we go. It's more about the company than the place or price." You said.

"Same for me." He smiled back. That was one of the rare times you openly admitted to like spending time with him, it was good, a progression in your relationship.

"Here is some bread and your starters." The lady placed the bread basket down along with the salad and chicken appetiser you ordered to share.

"Thank you." You and Hongjoong smiled.

"Dig in." He gestured for you to start. You took a piece of warm bread and broke it apart to eat.

"How is it?" He asked as he moved to serve you some salad before putting some chicken on his own plate. You nodded with a thumbs up as you chewed.

"Good to hear." He grinned and ate the chicken, taking a piece of bread as well. You picked up a fork to eat the salad.

"The salad is really good. The dressing is great. You should try some." You encouraged. Hongjoong shot you a suspicious look and made no move to put some salad on his plate. He could not be convinced that a salad was good.

"Here." You made a bite and put it on your fork, holding it out to him. Hongjoong blinked at the fork that you held out to him, not knowing what he should do.

"Oh, sorry! I don't know why I did that, I just acted out of instinct." You were about to retract your hand when he grasped your wrist.

"You're right, it is good. Sweet from the fruits." Hongjoong said as he chewed the salad, having just eaten off your fork.

"And don't apologise." He added.

When the appetisers were done, the lady brought your mains to you. As you ate a bite, you would look out at the view as your chewed. You didn't even notice Hongjoong staring at you with a soft smile.

"We can go there for a walk later." He told you, making you turn your head back.

"I'm looking forward to that." You grinned. Both you and Hongjoong offered the other person a bite of your food to share.

"Mmm, it is very good." You nodded as you wiped your mouth. This closeness, this peacefulness here reminded you so much of your lunches with Mrs Kim. It felt like you were with her again, sharing food with her while you relaxed and chatted. But you knew it wasn't her, it was her son.

"Do you think you'll ever live like this? Away from the city?" Hongjoong asked.

"As much as I love the view, I know the reality is that I can never be too far from the city. Convenience of things, work, it's better in the city." You sighed.

"Maybe a vacation house then? A place you can come to every now and then." He suggested and you hummed in agreement.

"What about you?" You asked back.

"If I were on my own, I'd probably feel bored. I grew up a city kid and like you said, with work, I have to be in the city. But if I had company, I don't think I'd ever want to leave." He smiled softly.

"It's peaceful and private." He agreed. Since you two were too full for dessert, Hongjoong got the bill after you were done eating.

"You're always paying, Hongjoong. You never let me pay." You frowned as he handed the cash to the lady.

"Because I want to treat you so don't worry about it." He replied, putting a hand on your head. The lady giggled at the interaction between the two of you. She walked you both to the door with you and Hongjoong bowing gratefully to her.

"Ah, I have to take this. Sorry." Hongjoong took his phone out of his pocket. You shook your head, he had no need to apologise. Work was work, it wasn't his fault.

"Miss, would you like to see the garden as you wait?" The lady came out, noticing you standing there waiting for Hongjoong.

"Yes, please." Your eyes lit up in excitement.

When Hongjoong hung up with a sigh, he turned around but realised you were no longer standing there. He heard your voice and walked around the side of the restaurant to see you there with the owner.

"Oh, a dryer compost." You said in amazement as you crouched down beside the owner as she showed you around her garden.

"Ah, no." You shyly shook your head, refuting whatever the owner was saying to you.

"Beautiful." Hongjoong breathed out, taking his phone out to snap a picture of you smiling as you looked at the garden, giving your full attention to the owner.

"Thank you so much." You smiled and bowed gratefully to the owner before walking over to where Hongjoong was.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you ended your call. I hope you weren't waiting long. The owner wanted to show me her garden and she's growing a lot of amazing vegetables." You rambled on, a little embarrassed that you were caught nerding out over plants. To you, it was totally unattractive.

"Nothing to apologise for. I'm the one who should be sorry for making you wait while I take a work call." Hongjoong smiled, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

"It's not your fault. It's work. I understand that it's unavoidable. Are you needed somewhere?" You asked.

"Nope, they can handle it. I'm yours for the whole day." He grinned.

"Ah..." You looked away, embarrassed when Hongjoong said that he was 'yours'. Hongjoong chuckled, knowing he managed to get you flustered.

"A-Anyway, the owner said that there's a nice path through the safe area of the forest..." You trailed off, changing the subject.

"Let's go then." Hongjoong gestured for you to walk ahead. You waved to the owner for the last time and walked in the direction of the path, missing the wink that she sent Hongjoong's way.

"Is this boring for you? We can do something else." You turned to him as you both walked through the forest.

"(y/n), stop worrying. This isn't boring at all. Just enjoy yourself." Hongjoong smiled softly.

Honestly, Hongjoong didn't appreciate plants as much as you, probably no one appreciated plants as much as you. But he'll gladly accompany you just to see how happy nature makes you. He liked seeing you smile.

"Is that a mushroom?" Hongjoong asked in disbelief and pointed to the little caps that were growing around the tree branch. You nodded with an amused giggle.

"Is this the first time you're seeing mushrooms outside a grocery store?" You teased.

"Hey, not all of us are nature people." Hongjoong scoffed.

"I'm just teasing. Be careful not to go too near them though, I'm not sure what type of mushrooms they are or if they're poisonous. They seem to be damp with some sort of sap or excretion." You cautioned.

"Yikes, okay. I definitely knew that mushrooms can be poisonous." Hongjoong said, taking a step back.

"Shall we stop here for a break?" Hongjoong suggested as you both came to a clearing.

"Sure." You nodded. Hongjoong removed his jacket, laying it on the ground and patting it for you to sit. It felt sacrilegious to be putting such an expensive jacket on the ground.

"I don't mind sitting on the ground, Hongjoong. The ground is dry. You shouldn't dirty your jacket." You said, horrified.

"It's fine, (y/n). It's just a jacket. Besides, I've already put it on the ground." He said. You chewed on your bottom lip with uncertainty but sat down. Before he could sit on the ground, you tugged on his sleeve and made space for him to share the jacket with you. He shouldn't have to sit on the ground.

"There's more than enough space." You told him. Hongjoong nodded and sat down beside you, on top of his jacket. It was peaceful to hear the sounds of nature around you.

"Jongho would hate this place." Hongjoong stated with a chuckle, looking around the forest.

"Why?" You blinked.

"Don't get me wrong, he's fine with the plants but he's terrified of insects. Don't tell him I told you though. That's one of the only things he's afraid of." Hongjoong revealed.

"Jongho usually has such a tough demeanour. I never would have thought that..." You giggled.

"Most of them are afraid of bugs. Jongho and Mingi are the worst I think?" He recalled.

"I'm not the biggest fan of them but after working with so many plants and gardens, I've learnt how important some are to the plant ecosystem." You shrugged.

"Don't bugs just eat the crops?" He tilted his head.

"Not all. Like bees are super important to everything we do, they're responsible for pollinating. Worms are needed to make composts and to enrich the soil, they break everything down. And ladybugs are often added to gardens to help with pest control." You explained.

"Sorry, I nerd out over these things." You realised you were once against rambling.

"Stop apologising, (y/n). It's fine to be passionate about things. Plants and nature are your life. And I can see talking about them make you genuinely happy." Hongjoong assured.

"Yeah, it does. I am happy, right here, right now." You admitted. Hongjoong smiled softly.

"I'm glad." He replied. You leaned your forehead against his shoulder in embarrassment so he couldn't see you.

As much as you didn't want to leave, the sun was starting to set so you and Hongjoong decided to head back. He folded his jacket and placed it into the trunk of his car.

"Wow." You gasped at the sunset view that greeted you as Hongjoong drove.

"It's beautiful." You held your phone up to take a picture. Then you turned to take a picture of Hongjoong too.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" He chuckled.

"It's for the memories. You took a picture of me when I was in the garden with the owner earlier." You teased and Hongjoong choked, not realising that you saw him taking pictures of you. He cleared his throat and just focused on the road, not saying anything further. You giggled, knowing you manage to stump him.

"I know we've left the place and I'm supposed to send you home but I don't want to do that yet." Hongjoong admitted, turning to you when he stopped at a red light.

"O-Oh..." You were not expecting him to say that.

"I know we're both still a little full from lunch but what about getting some shaved ice?" He suggested.

"That's still food! But sure, I'd love to have some shaved ice." You laughed. Truthfully, you didn't want this date to end too. You liked spending time with Hongjoong, you always did.

But throughout this date, you still didn't learn anything new about Hongjoong. He still didn't share anything about him with you.

"We're here." Hongjoong announced with a smile. He looked at you just fast enough to see your somber expression.

"Are you alright? Do you want to go home?" He asked, worried that his excitement had made him selfish. You shook your head, smiling at him. But this time, your smile didn't meet your eyes.

"(y/n), if you're tired, I can take you home. We can do this another time." He assured.

"I'm fine, Hongjoong. Don't worry, I just suddenly fell into deep thought about something." You waved him off. He nodded, still not entirely convince. He opened the door for you into the little cafe, the waitress bringing the two of you to a booth seat in the corner.

As you looked at the menu, Hongjoong looked at you over the top of his own menu secretly, trying to read and gauge your expression. Did he misread this whole situation?

"Should we share?" You asked, unexpectedly meeting his gaze.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. You can choose the flavour, I don't mind anything." He shrugged, looking back down at the menu.

"Can we get strawberry, please?" You ordered with the waitress. She nodded with a bow of her head. The entire time, her eyes were trained on Hongjoong.

"Will you be cold without your jacket?" You asked, feeling like a blanket of awkwardness settled over you two.

"No, I'm fine. I don't get cold easily." He smiled, shaking his head.

"One strawberry shaved ice." The waitress came back, putting the bowl of shaved ice down. She placed one spoon and napkin in front of you then she smiled at Hongjoong as she placed his down.

"Stop smiling at me." Hongjoong frowned. He didn't even look at her but everyone at the table knew he was talking to her.

"S-Sorry." She squeaked and ran off.

"Sorry about that." Hongjoong apologised to you, his gaze softening compared to when he spoke to the waitress earlier. You shook your head, it wasn't his fault and there was nothing for him to apologise for. He let out a soft sigh, with all 8 guys having good looks, you assumed he was used to it.

"Can't blame her. Maybe she was just entranced by your good looks." You tried to joke, picking your spoon up to scrape the side of the shaved ice to start eating it.

"You think I look good?" He smirked. Your eyes widened as he rendered you speechless.

"Like you don't know..." You mumbled, looking at the table as you took a bite. Hongjoong chuckled, finding your reaction endearing.

"Just eat the shaved ice. Stop making fun of me." You grumbled but that only fuelled Hongjoong's amusement even more. He threw his head back in laughter.

"Alright, alright. I'll stop." He stopped when he saw the slight pout on your face.

"The shaved ice is good." He hummed.

"Yeah, it's not too crunchy." You said, taking another bite. You realised that Hongjoong was moving the fresh strawberries over to your side for you to eat.

"Don't give all of it to me, Hongjoong. Have some yourself." You said, stopping his spoon with your own.

"It's fine. You enjoy it more than me." He smiled. But you were stubborn, taking a scoop of the strawberries and putting it onto Hongjoong's spoon, the bite that he was about to put into his mouth. He nodded in defeat and ate it.

After the shaved ice was done, Hongjoong (reluctantly) sent you home since you had to open the shop tomorrow. He pulled up to the driveway by your lift lobby.

"Thank you for today, Hongjoong. I had a really, really good time." You smiled gratefully.

"Glad to hear that." He returned the smile. But as you were about to exit the car, leaving the conversation at that.

"Wait, (y/n)." He stopped you.

"I didn't talk too much about myself today, which I know is the whole reason why we're dating to get to know each other. But it was only because I wanted to do it here." He confessed.

"What do you mean?" You blinked, sitting back down in the passenger seat.

"I need to tell you things. And if you decide to leave or run away from me, I wanted you to be able to run to your home." He said.

Series masterlist

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keirareidss · 12 days ago

Note

Mean!reader shoves her fingers in Spencer’s mouth when she wants him to shut up when he’s rambling….. do what with that you will….. I need something of this

I'm obsessed. Literally, I love this. Thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy! (decided to make this a blurb because I'm working on bigger fics right now, but I did still really want to write this)

wc: 0.8k

You loved Spencer's rambling. Of course you did, it's part of what made you fall in love with him, His ability to be so passionate about what he's interested in. But sometimes, it was a tad bit much for you. Especially when you were trying to make a move on him.

"But, really, when you think about it, the 'it's all relative' aphorism is not that applicable especially in broader terms-" You kissed a long his neck as he spoke but he wasn't deterred. "The main issue lies in confusing 'relative', which is dependent on context or comparison, with 'subjective', which is based on perception or personal opinion. But while many experiences are subjective that doesn't mean they are relative-" You decided to try a different tactic, moving your kisses to his lips.

He hums against you and you know that means he has another thought brewing that he wants to tell you about. You pull his bottom lip in between your teeth, determined to prolong the kiss to avoid another ramble that will keep you from your seduction. But poor, poor, adorable Spencer doesn't realize that.

"There's actually another popular misconception that philosophy is directly related to-"

"Spencer..." You cut him off in a sultry voice, using two fingers to tilt his chin up. He looks into your eyes, his own going wide. You slide your two fingers up his jaw to his bottom lip, tracing it.

"I-"

"Shh, baby." You cut him off, pushing your fingers past his lips, his tongue finding them immediately out of instinct. "Don't speak." His mouth closed around your digits, sucking dutifully as he looked up at you with half lidded lust-filled eyes. You slowly pulled your spit-soaked fingers out of his mouth, a string a saliva following. You brought your hands down to his waistband, unzipping his pants. He swallowed, saying your name on a whimper.

"Please. Touch me."

"Good job, Spence. You're getting better at that." You'd been trying to teach him to tell you what he wants in a rather... unconventional way. And by that you mean edging him until he finally spits out the words. But it seems he's learned and for that, you'd reward him.

You pulled down his pants and boxers, his cock springing out. You instantly grasped him in your fist, stroking up and down and using his own spit as lube. He moans at the feeling, his hips jerking.

"I- I want- ngh, please..."

"Come on, use your words, genius, you were talking so much before." You teased and he whined.

"I want- I want your mouth." You grinned, leaning forward and slanting your lips over his, purposefully misunderstanding him.

"You want my mouth here?" You asked, barely pulling back from the kiss. He shook his head, breathing heavy.

"N-no."

"Where then?"

"I- I want it... I want your mouth on- on my cock." He stammers out. He blushed instantly at the vulgar terminology, squeezing his eyes shut. You chuckled, moving down his legs until you were able to bend down. You flicked your tongue out, licking at the head of his cock and he jolted.

"If you want me to suck you off, you're going to have to open your eyes, baby." You said and he huffed out a breath, forcing his eyes open to look down at you. He knew he wouldn't last long. he never did when you made him watch you but he hadn't realized that that's want you wanted. You had a bet with yourself to see how fast you could make him cum. Your best time was 56 seconds. But that's a story for another time.

Once his eyes were on you, you wrapped your lips around his length, slowly sinking down on it. He shuddered, letting out a long moan. No matter how many times you sucked him off, you never got used to the sounds he made. They were so needy and desperate, it made you wet just thinking about it.

You bobbed your head up and down, drawing said needy noises from the man above you, circling your ruthless tongue over his tip. You let your teeth graze his shaft as you moved your head down and then up again.

"Ah! Shit, I'm close, I'm gonna-" And then he was cumming down your throat, letting you swallow him up dutifully, spit dribbling down your chin. You sit up, wiping your mouth and grinning at the man twitching and panting before you. You check your watch.

"Damn it." 72 seconds. You'd have to try to beat your record another time. You brushed Spencer's hair back from his forehead, looking into his eyes.

"You're amazing." He murmured, entirely fucked out. You press a loving kiss to his lips.

"Thank you, baby. Now, let's put that mouth of yours to good use."

Taglist: @superbeaglewitch, @perfectgoopfishuniversity-blog, totallynotabuckybarnessimp, @dramioneforevertilltheend. @cynbx, @diminombre

#criminal minds #♡ keira's fics #spencer reid x reader #♡ keira's requests #spencer reid smut #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid blurb

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librarygarten · 7 months ago

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I would not be able to shut up about Zelda lore. I'd be mentioning the Links the Chain hasn't met yet, or how Ganondorf's hair keeps getting longer with each iteration, and especially the timeline! I'd be turning to Legend and Four and saying that according to Nintendo, they're a bunch of Links conflated together (Four Swords before Time and Adventures after Twilight what???) and then turning to Warriors to say that his game isn't canon to the timeline. SEND HELP

Literally same. I swear I would be the most annoying person ever. I'd be telling them about all the fan theories, giving them all an existential crisis. (Because IMAGINE if Wind found out some people don't think he has the hero's spirit. Or if Sky found out some people think Demise's curse is the reason every other Link had to deal with Ganon.) This was going to be a short little blurb but... yeah you get a whole two pages. This is what you get for feeding my hyper fixation, anon.

“You know about all our adventures and the impact my actions specifically had on the timeline.” Time’s face was unreadable. His usually serious demeanor had a much colder edge to it. And it was directed at you.

You take a breath. He had been a bit stand-offish when you had joined the group. He had been upset when you spoke about how the chain’s adventures were games in your universe. You suspected he began outright avoiding you after that. You had thought there had been an unspoken but mutual understanding that his games were something not to be spoken of. Nothing could prepare you for this conversation, especially with the rest of the chain within earshot. Still, he had spoken to you. Directly to you. Which was progress, even if the subject matter was… this.

“Yeah.” You try to seem nonchalant. Your voice crack ruins the effect somewhat.

“Explain, then. Knowing how we,” Time motions to the rest of the group, “all fit together might help us face the creature we’ve been fighting.”

“Oh, that might get a bit complicated. Some of the games y’all appear in aren’t canon.” You smile nervously. “And some of you guys seem to be multiple games combined? Like, you have two games, and that makes sense because Majora’s Mask was meant to be a sequel to Ocarina of Time. But, for example, in the official timeline The Minish Cap and Four Swords take place before the timeline split, while Four Swords Adventures happens after it, even though all three games seem to be Four’s adventures.”

“Wait, what?” Four perked up at the mention of his name. “How does that make sense? I used the Four Sword about a year or so after my time with the Picori. How can those two games have things between them?”

“Hoooo boy.” You pressed your lips together, trying to summon the restraint necessary to give a tactful answer. You looked at Time, then Four, then at the rest of the chain, whose attention was focused solely on you. Screw it. They asked.

“The company that created the games, Nintendo, published a book with an official timeline in it. The timeline begins with Skyward Sword, after which Sky and his Zelda kind of found what will eventually become Hyrule and *ahem* start the royal family.” You ramble on, choosing not to comment on the way Sky chokes on his own spit. “Then, the Minish Cap happens. And according to Nintendo, the next game, Four Swords, has a completely different Link. After Four Swords, the events of Ocarina of Time happen, where a TON of time travel shenanigans happen.”

Time coughs. You keep talking.

“During Ocarina of Time, Time defeated Ganondorf as a teenager. His Zelda then sent him back in time to prevent Ganondorf from ever getting the Triforce in the first place, but this didn’t erase the other timeline. Thus, there are two timelines: Time’s original that he was removed from and the new one where Ganondorf was never really an issue.”

You get out a stick, drawing lines in the dirt to illustrate your point.

“Now, in the timeline that Time left, Ganondorf eventually came back. That’s what set’s up the events of Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass. Also in this timeline is a game called Spirit Tracks. The Link from that game isn’t here, but Wind’s Zelda’s granddaughter is that Link’s Zelda.”

“WAIT WHAT?” Wind shouted, temporarily snapping you out of your rant. Oh shoot. How long have you been rambling? You turned your attention to Wind.

“What’s up, sailor?” You point at him with the stick in your hand, as if you were a school teacher lecturing on a subject and not a gamer with way too much free time.

“Tetra had KIDS?” Wind scrunches his face up, as if disgusted by the thought of his best friend reproducing.

“Yes, that is how grandchildren work.” You tap your stick against the end of the line you had drawn. “Anyway, that’s about it for that timeline. As far as I know, Wind stabbing Ganondorf in the face actually killed the guy for once.”

“Wait, WIND is the one who actually finished off Ganon?” Legend pipes up.

“Why do you sound so surprised!?” Wind fires back indignantly.

“MOVING ON!” You shout, redirecting the group's attention back to you. “In the timeline Time went back to and fixed, he has another game, Majora’s Mask. He then settles down and has a kid, who has a kid, etc. etc., then we get Twilight and his game, Twilight Princess. Time is kind of a dickwad in that game, but we don’t have time to unpack that.”

“Hold on.” Time puts up a hand, trying to stop you from continuing. He looks… extremely worried. Twilight looks as if he just swallowed a frog.

“Nope, moving on!” You use your stick to quickly lower Time’s arm. “Twilight actually also killed Ganondorf, but the bastard went and got resurrected. Vaati also shows up again randomly, and that’s how Four Swords Adventures happens.”

“What about me and Legend?” Hyrule raises his hand politely.

“Ah, you guys are from a timeline where Time died in his final fight with Ganondorf.”

“I’M SORRY WHAT?” Twilight and Time shout at almost the same time.

“Yep. That’s what started the Sealing War. Time’s Zelda and the sages sealed Ganondorf away. Then we have Legend’s games, which have two different orders, both of which were published by Nintendo. It either goes A Link to the Past, Oracle of Seasons/Ages, then Link's Awakening, or Link’s Awakening, then Oracle of Seasons/Ages.”

“Why the different order? Doesn’t ‘Nintendo’ know?” Legend smirks, as if he had won against this strange other-worldly company that had reduced him to a child’s game.

“Well, they published the first version, but because Link’s Awakening was the last game for you, fans thought you died at sea.” You explain. Legend’s smirk disappears as the color drains from his face.

“Anyway, according to Nintendo, the next game is A Link Between Worlds, which is a different Link. After that, it’s Hyrule’s games: The Legend of Zelda and The Legend of Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link. Then that’s it for the downfall timeline.”

“What about me?” Wild sheepishly points to himself.

“Nobody knows. Nintendo says they’re after Four Swords Adventures OR Spirit Tracks. Personally, I think after FSA makes more sense, but we DEFINITELY shouldn’t get into theory territory right now.”

“I’m guessing my game is the same? No clear timeline placement because of all the different timelines mixing together?” Warriors rolls his eyes as he says it, as if annoyed he doesn’t have an official timeline placement.

“No, actually. Your entire game was more fanservice than anything. Nintendo doesn’t even consider it canon.”

“WHAT?”

^ Y/N explaining the timeline to the chain be like

#linked universe #linked universe x reader #linked universe + reader #linked universe x isekai!reader #lu legend #lu x reader #lu sky #lu time #lu chain #lu wind #lu warriors #lu twilight #lu four #lu hyrule #lu wild

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baronessvonglitter · 1 year ago

Text

The Morning After

Javier Peña x f!Reader | WC: 2.7K

Summary: after a sex emergency, you call on your neighbor Javier Peña.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, talk of birth control failing, dom!Javier Peña, uprotected p in v sex, creampie, slut shaming, mildly dubious consent, biting, fingering, rough sex, dirty talk, no specific physical descriptions of reader besides that she's wearing a dress, no use of y/n

Author's Note: I have no shame.

JAVIER PENA MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

It's early when you knock on Javier Peña's door. He's dressed for work, looking like he's just about to head out, a cigarette already pressed between his lips and he answers your knock with a questioning glance, eyebrow raised.

"I'm sorry to bother you," you say, timid under his gaze. "But you did say I could come to you for help and.. well.. could you do me a huge favor?"

Peña glances at his watch. "A favor? What kind of favor?" There's a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, as if you're offering yourself on a plate to be his breakfast in bed.

You take a deep breath and exhale. "Could you give me a ride to the drugstore? It's kind of a time-sensitive issue."

He takes note of the way your hands flutter towards your stomach and he seems to catch your drift. "All right. C'mon then."

"Thanks," you whisper as he leads you to his car outside.

He's quiet as he drives, which is how you've typically known him to be in the past year as your across-the-hall neighbor. He only took notice of you when your boyfriend moved out a few months back and you exchanged quick good mornings or traded mail that was delivered incorrectly to each other. He saw you were alone and offered small, subtle gestures of kindness like offering to walk you to your car if it was dark out, or to simply keep an eye on your place if you weren't around. He'd tell you to stay safe, that the world is dangerous for pretty young women like you. He even said at one point that he would help with any favor, and now you're counting on him.

"May I ask what you need that's so urgent?" he asks, driving through the morning traffic.

"Medicine," you give him the short answer.

"What kind of medicine?"

"Medicine.. for women." You look out the window so he won't see your face turning red.

"Are you pregnant?"

You look at him, embarrassed. "God, no! But.. something happened last night and I just need to get the morning after pill."

He raises his brow as he keeps his eye on the road, flicks his cigarette out the window. "And what, exactly, did you get up to last night?"

You give him a strange look. "What do you think I got up to last night? Obviously I slept with someone."

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "Who was it? Someone you know? A date? A random hookup?"

It's so odd to see him flustered. It's such a departure from the calm, cool, collected man you usually see. "Why does it matter?"

A few moments pass where it's quiet between you two. Peña seems to be processing what you've said. "Did you use protection?"

You sigh. "Yes, but the condom broke. That's why I need the pill. Happy now?"

"The condom broke? What kind of cheap-ass condoms were you using?"

You scoff. "Are you really going to judge me right now? I've seen you come home with a different woman every night."

"That's entirely different," Peña snaps. "I use protection. I take every precaution when I'm with someone. And don't try to change the subject."

"Honestly, you're upset with me and it's weird.." but a part of you kind of likes his overprotectiveness.. dare you believe he's a bit jealous?

He runs his fingers through his hair, obviously trying to collect himself. "You were careless, bonita. For Christ's sake, I have a lot of things to worry about, but one of them shouldn't be if you're going to get knocked up by some guy you don't even know."

"First of all, he's someone I really like, and we've been out a few times. He's not 'some guy'. Besides, how do you know your own protection hasn't failed at times?"

It's his turn to scoff. "Believe me, mine has never failed. Because unlike you, I'm smart enough to keep an eye on the expiration date before I use it."

"Bullshit! Haven't you ever been so caught up in the moment that you just.. slip it on without thinking?"

He grits his teeth. You are really getting under his skin. "I may get carried away at times, but I've never been careless enough to put on an expired, low-quality condom. Stop pushing this argument."

"You? Carried away? Hell would freeze over." You cross your arms.

The drugstore still isn't in sight. "Carried away as in passionate," he corrects you.

"Define passionate." A playful smirk crosses your features, enjoying how uneasy Peña seems to be.

It's one thing for him to express himself physically and quite another to talk about it, especially with a woman. "I'm just a little more intense.. but I'm careful about it."

"Intense? How? This is the most interesting conversation I've ever had with you."

The fact that you've managed to fluster this man is really distracting you from your current emergency. "Well, I just really feel it.. I like to enjoy myself, but I also like to focus on making someone else feel good when I'm with them. I'm.. a little bit aggressive, a little bit demanding-"

"Holy shit!" you blurt out. "Got it." You turn away, blushing again.

"Is that what you wanted to hear? That I get a bit rough when I fuck?"

That word goes straight to your pussy, and the fucker knows it. He knows it. "I suppose I can see that about you. You look like the rough type."

He breaks into a smile, and damn it if you don't want to fucking straddle him in that seat. "You can imagine all you want, bonita. You haven't had the pleasure."

You do your best to ignore the feelings he's kindling inside you. You'd always found him attractive but until now hadn't thought about him as more than a neighbor. "Make a left up here," you tell him, hoping to put the issue to rest.

With a smirk he pulls into the parking lot and lets the engine idle. "You really can't wait to get your hands on that pill, huh?"

"The sooner the better," you shrug. "Do you need anything while I'm in there? Maybe some more condoms?"

Peña gives a small, amused laugh. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. Get me two boxes while you're at it, just in case." He winks.

You roll your eyes. "Wait for me, okay?"

"Sure thing, and don't rush, bonita. It's just some condoms. I'm sure you could use another pack yourself." He leans back in his seat as he watches you go into the store.

You're out five minutes later. "We have a problem," you tell Peña.

"What's the problem?" A frown appears on his face.

"They won't let me purchase the pill unless my 'husband' is with me."

"What kind of bullshit is that? Where the hell are we? Saudi Arabia?"

"Be nice," you try to calm him, though you're touched by how upset he is over a problem he has nothing to do with. "Just come in with me, okay? I need you."

Without a word he sighs deeply and shuts off the engine, getting out onto the sidewalk with you. You enter the pharmacy. "Just hold my hand," you whisper, and he grabs hold of yours. "You're sweating a lot," you mention.

"I'm fine," he mutters. As you approach the counter, Peña does a total 180 and puts his arm around your waist, giving your hip a gentle squeeze. It's not hard for you to play into it, as his touch sizzles through your clothes. You take a moment to realize how big his hands are, and once again your mind goes to a place you have no control over.

"See? You had me bring my husband in here, taking him away from his very busy and very important job as an agent in the Drug Enforcement Administration, just to help me get medicine that by law you are not legally required to withhold from me," you tell the pharmacist, an older man with an unpleasant face and demeanor.

"My wife and I got a little carried away last night," Peña pipes in, playing his part. With a smirk he presses himself to you, grabbing your ass with both hands and kissing you. You freeze for a moment at the shock of it, but your body reacts so naturally that you kiss him back, arms draped around his neck. His tongue gently pries your lips apart and you can taste cigarettes and whiskey in his kiss. Your panties dampen with unexpected desire and you have the urge to wrap your legs around his waist and let him take you right there against the plastic barrier of the drugstore counter, but a loud harrumph from the elderly pharmacist stops both of you.

"We're newlyweds," you explain, trying to catch your breath as Peña wraps his arms around you from behind. He kisses the side of your neck and nearly all rational thought leaves you. "We're still waiting for his vasectomy to heal." This little white lie earns you a pinch on the ass from him. You yelp. "We'll be purchasing several of these morning after pills."

Satisfied, the pharmacist give you the pill packets and you pay, swatting Peña's hand away when he tries to pay for them with his own cash. "You have 72 hours to take the pill to keep from getting pregnant," the elderly man tells you before you leave. "So you two have plenty of fun before then."

"We're going to have to get back home quickly, bonita," Peña tells you, and you have no doubt he's no longer in character. There's a rush of adrenaline shooting through you and you're both in a completely different headspace than you were before.

"My place or yours?" you ask, a little breathless as you exit the building.

He pulls you in for another scorching kiss. "Mine" he practically growls.

You're barely through his apartment door when he presses you to the nearest wall, lifting your leg and rubbing against you. "Fuck, look at this, you're already so wet," he murmurs, lifting your skirt and pulling your panties roughly down your legs. He stuffs them in his jacket pocket and his fingers go back to press inside you wet, waiting cunt. Two fingers slide in easily. "Jesus Christ, bonita, you're dying for it, aren't you?" You moan into his mouth as he kisses you, roughly pumping his fingers inside of you. Your knees go weak but he's there to hold you up, kneading your ass cheek with one hand while the other gets you ready for him. "Que sucia," he whispers roughly into your ear. "Such a dirty girl, sleeping with a different man each day, letting each of them come inside you. From now on I'm going to be the only one to come inside you, is that understood?" When you don't answer, he grabs your chin with his free hand. "Understood?"

"Ye-yes!" you moan, feeling helpless as he finger fucks you but refuses to let you come. Just when you think you're on that edge he takes it away. "You don't get to come yet, baby. You will only come on my cock, is that understood?" In response you clench around him and he groans. "Ah, fuck, you're tight. Your date last night must have been so small. I'm gonna fix that, and I'm gonna fill you up so you're leaking my cum for days, bonita."

"Turn around," he whispers gruffly, moving you anyway so you're facing away, your palms pressed to the wall. He removes your dress over your head and makes quick work of removing your bra. Cupping your breasts he kisses the nape of your neck and shoulders, leaving small bite marks where no one will see them. Each love bite is like a small fire upon your skin, which he laves with his tongue to soothe it. He can't keep his hands away from your ass: squeezing, rubbing, giving little spanks and smiling when you yelp in both surprise and pleasure. He's muttering things in Spanish that you can't understand, but from his tone you know it's praise. You hear his belt unbuckling, pants sliding down. Your pussy clenches in anticipation. He lifts your ass with one hand and guides himself to you with the other. All you feel is a delicious heat, the girth of him filling you up, stretching you. You gasp. He's gentle with the first few inches, and shoves forward without warning for the last few inches so that it takes your breath away. "Oh look at that.. all pink and stretched out around my cock. I bet your little boyfriend from last night didn't do this. I bet he laid on top of you and pumped for about three seconds before he came and left you having to run to me.." You're barely listening to his words, whimpering, mumbling 'please' and 'oh god!', concentrating on his cock, how it moves, how it fills you so that it's almost painful but Peña would never hurt you. His hands on your hips help him with steady strokes as he gets a feel for you, burrowing inside your channel with fluidity. "God damn, what a view," he mutters. "Your pink little ass and your pussy stretched so wide for me.. Listen to that, bonita," he quiets and lets the sound of your slapping flesh fill the room. You can't hold back, moaning and panting. "It's a fucking symphony," Peña curses, moving his hips faster. The new pace throws you for a loop and you're at his mercy, gasping with each deep, quick thrust. It's impossible to think of anything except what he's doing to you to make you come.

"Oh Javi," you moan, using his given nickname for the first time. "Please please please please!"

He grunts. "Please what, baby?" His hand snakes around to your front and you already know what's going to happen next.

"Please let me come, please let me come, oh god!" You squeeze your eyes shut tight.

"Dirty girl wants to come? Say it. Say you want me to fill you up, dirty girl." His voice is gravelly in your ear. "Say you want my cum inside you for the next three days."

You're barely able to breathe let alone form sentences. "Please... I want your cum inside me!"

"Inside where, baby?"

"In my fucking pussy! Blow your fucking load in me!" You're desperate, feral.

"Jesus Christ," he mutters, taken over by your own dirty talk, smirking because you're exactly the kind of dirty girl he thought you to be. "That's exactly what dirty girls say, baby. But you need to come first. I want to come when you do, and you'll see why." With that he placed his touch on your clit, rubbing in little circles until you're engulfed in tidal waves of pleasure. You're incoherent as you rhythmically clench around his cock, but able to register the way he swells right before he twitches, milked by you, releasing his cum and splashing his warmth deep inside you. God, it's such a primal feeling. And you keep rippling around him, small spasms that take forever to die away. Peña slumps against your back, holding you close with one arm. "Let me see, baby." He disengages, getting a good view of your wrecked pussy, already spilling out his pearlescent seed. He uses his fingers to push it back inside you, like something he's found to play with. He makes you stand, still holding on to the wall, watching his cum fall along your inner thigh and drip to the floor. "Let it all drip out of you, baby. There's more where that came from."

You stand, trying to catch your breath. His cum turns cold running in tiny rivulets down your thigh, but you like the feeling. It's almost sacred, in a way. And it's freeing. Thanks to your pills you are carefree for the next few days.

"Let's get you in the shower," he says, his voice gentle this time as he gently turns you to kiss your mouth. "Then we'll try out the sofa.."

You chuckle. "Aren't you already late for work because of me?"

"Fuck it. I can be a few hours late.."

dividers by @roseschoices 👑

#pedro pascal #narcos #narcos fanfiction #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena smut #smut writing #ao3 fanfic #javier pena fanfiction #i want this man to ruin me

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aphroditesmoon · 7 days ago

Text

smoke signals (part iv)

lighthouse keeper!sevika x selkie!reader

summary: sevika is content with her life, the loneliness that comes with her job is inevitable. but then one day, as she reaches the peak of mundanity, almost turning into insanity, you appeared. cold, quiet, clueless, sea-sent you, like a wish fulfilment for her.

warnings: selkie!reader, reader has selective mutism in beginning. makeout (no smut yet)

a/n: a long awaited chapter, idk who will read this still but if you've been an og, thank you for your patience <3

taglist: @lilredbird101 , @djstinkyfartz @vellichor-and-flowerpetals

wc: 6k

part 1 part 2 part 3

---

Your whole life has been spent disregarding the feeling of fear that crept in your heart as you travelled. Because that's just the way you were. Ghosts could lurk beyond closed doors, and you'd find yourself kicking them open and challenging them upfront despite the fact that your heart is beating outside of your chest.

Little bird, your mother use to call you. The irony of being compared to an animal of the sky as you remained below wasn't lost on you. But that was how she saw you. Free, unafraid to soar.

And so that was how you continued to live as you cherished the memories of her, untethered to anyone or any place, uncommitted. And the freedom feels oh so good for a while. But as it goes for anything you do for too long, it will start to hurt soon enough.

But now that you've had a taste for stability, you're not sure if you could live without it anymore. It was inevitable, you know. The way you had imposed yourself on Sevika was so sudden, your presence had existed without any sort of grounding. Floating around her, making yourself fit in places you shouldn't. You'd be as easy to get rid of just as you were as easy to be taken in.

You're not so sure when the eviction would be due, but what you do know is that today, the process had begun.

You can hear Sevika conversing with the old man, Vander, as you remain seated at the corner of the boat, letting them unload her stuff in. The waves are peaceful today, the sailing would be smooth and wind gentle, you predicted.

Casting a quick glance behind you, you found that the older woman had already been focusing on the back of your head. Her piercing eyes don't move after being noticed but instead intensify. Whatever words being said by the man next to her was clearly being ignored.

In this very moment, you wished you could read her mind. While she assumes that you could already.

Sevika turns back to Vander once he finished asking his question, leaving you to the sea again. "What?" She asks him.

Vander sighed and shook his head in a fatherly manner before repeating himself. "I said, what the hell have you gotten yourself into, woman?"

Sevika responded with her usual annoyed grunt and looked away from him.

"I left you alone for a month and you've already found yourself in new trouble."

"She's no trouble, and I'm in no shit. So check yourself, Vander." She didn't mean to sound so defensive, and it wasn't like she didn't understand what he had meant with 'trouble', but she's also actively trying to avoid the facts that are currently staring right at her face.

"Oh, no? So when we get to land, you'll be handing her over to the arms of those wretches with no problem, aye?" Sevika shoots him a glare.

"I...have not come to a definite conclusion."

Vander raises a brow at her.

"You can't keep her Vika, that's kidnapping." He says matter of factly.

She snorted at the possibility of you ever being her unwilling captive. "Never said anything about that."

Vander relented and dropped the subject with another defeated sigh. She knew she was acting like a child, avoiding the truth and refusing to make the call.

She doesn't know why its so hard, she had come to this decision weeks ago when you had first appeared outside her door, and the fact that you had given her little to no information about yourself since then, just makes this issue even more complicated.

But how can she give you up to the enforcers when she knows that even they won't make an effort to really return you to wherever you came from? At first, the plan was to get you out of her hands. But now, the idea of sending you straight into the lion's den is absolutely unbearable.

The only person she'll ever really care about, and now she's forced to let you down?

She wonders if you know what this trip would really mean, you seem to be lost in your own thoughts for more than expected and she isn't sure if it's because of the change of scenery or the addition of another person in your presence that will soon be multiplied overwhelmingly.

A part of her wants to go over to you and wrap a comforting arm around your shoulder, but she's not sure if she should. im fact, she's not sure on how she's supposed to act around you at all, feeling like no matter what angle she tries to come from, the killing blow of her oncoming betrayal will be seen as just as traitorous in your eyes.

But god, what else is she supposed to do? Sevika's mind has reached a blank wall.

Impulsively, Sevika approached Vander with a question. "Say old man, you don't mind if we stay over at your place for a night or two, do you?"

Vander seemed surprised but not displeased. "Uh, sure. Why not?"

Sevika thanks him in a whisper and feels relief in her lungs as she's gifted with more time to come up with something better.

"The kids will be glad to see you." Vander added with a short laugh.

"The kids." Sevika breathed out, reminiscing about the last time she saw them, which was 2 months ago. "How are they?"

Vander shrugged, "They're well, and stubborn as usual." Vi and Jinx are your typical growing young adult and teenager. They had somehow inherited both Vander's bravery and stupidity despite not really being his children.

"The bar however, suffered many losses because of those damned pirates from last month. The kids have been helping me fix things up, but it just hasn't been the same." And that was the other issue when it came to the town, the random and consistent attacks from the pirates.

Thieving is a repetitive crime in town, but the damage that these pirates have done is incomparable.

The Black Fury pirates are notorious for their crimes all over the map and some might even call them legendary. They had only recently been invading Zaun during their little pit stops. They are well armed and not afraid to use their weapons. Even the enforcers have been unable to do anything about the sudden attacks.

Sevika can only hope that they won't be back here anytime soon.

She watches as you turn to face a different direction as the boat is finally reaching land. The silence of the journey is now being replaced by loud chattering voices of fishermen, sailors and townsfolk.

Once Vander managed to tie up the roads as the bottom of the boat meets the sandy ground.

People looked, but not at any particular interest towards the three of you as you cleared up your bags and tools out of the vehicle and made your way deeper into the crowd of lively people.

You survey your surroundings with an eager but patient manner, finding comfort in the way the voices mesh together, overlapping over eachother to the point that you wouldn't be able to make clear on anything.

You enjoyed calmness and peace, especially for these last couple of weeks. But anyone who knew you (not that there are many), would know that you truly thrived in loudness and bustling spaces that most humans find themselves in.

You jolted when you felt Sevika slip her fingers around yours, clasping your hands together. When you looked up to her as you continued to move behind Vander, she only cocked her head at the crowd and said; "can't lose you now."

You continue to gawk at corner shops and messy stalls selling cheap jewelry and greased up food as she leads you on. You could still feel her turning around every few seconds to look at you, as if afraid that you'd somehow disappear despite already being in her grip.

You didn't mind it at all. In fact, you were kind of glad for it. You were glad that she deemed you worthy enough to look back for. And you also seemed to enjoy the feeling of her strong calloused palms holding onto your colder, and much smaller ones. Buzzing warmth spread all over your body from the contact.

Although she tugged on your arms, she never pulled on it and let you walk at your own pace while you regarded the people with a keen eye, frowning deeply when you came upon a spray painted symbol of the Black Fury pirates on the passing walls.

The image had seemed to spook you for a little bit as Sevika noticed that your admiration for the dirty streets has been overtaken by something else. Your focus now shifted on arriving safely to Vander's home.

"We're almost there." Sevika mutters to you, translating your sudden gloominess to being tired and overwhelmed.

Sevika herself is not that big of a fan of chaos in the town. She favors bars and restaurants, sure. But the idea of having to be around so many people for too long have always put her on edge and increased her irritability.

She's more of a homebody, she'd say. But seeing how in awe you were of the vibrant streets and market had somehow forced her to see certain things from your point of view.

She took note of certain things that you looked at for longer than usual. The way your lips part open in pleasant surprise when being offered fresh fruits by stall sellers you've passed by in a flash, the way your eyes crinkle at the sight of rock-kicking children chasing around a dusty black cat.

And of course, the way your eyes lit up as you're met with the holy fish market, all in it's glory of sea water smell and middle aged mothers doing grocery shopping for their families.

The bar was much less full than you expected, probably because it was still morning. Only very few and sober customers were inside by the back booths being sheltered by the dim yellow lights above them. The moment you set your foot inside, you were greeted by two teenagers that came from the counter seats, welcoming the old man and Sevika with expecting smiles.

"Oh, well if it isn't the scary big shark coming to grace us with her prsence." The shorter, blue haired girl spoke.

She gave a half hug to Sevika before she slowly noticed your existence, quiet and careful behind her. "And, who's this?"

"A friend." Sevika spoke, too quickly for her own liking.

"Oh that can't be true, I thought Vander's your only friend." The redhead, who you assumed is the blue hatred girl's sister, responded.

Sevika rolled her eyes and dropped her bag on the floor before walking away with you still holding her hand. "I need a drink." She called out to the bartender as she seated herself down on the stools with you. “Of course you do.” The red head snorted.

"Whiskey neat for me and uh-" She glanced over at you and back at the bartender. "Do you got...juice-?" The bartender cringed. "Apple juice, that's it." He answers.

"Sure." Sevika sighed and nodded her head.

You didn't argue, but when your drinks came, you had slyly grabbed for hers first and tipped it over your lips before she could stop you.

Sevika stared at you with horror, watching you slam the glass back on the counter and began tearing out your throat with a violent and continous cough, hunching your back.

"Great." She groaned aloud. "Get me some water." She demanded from the bartender.

She lightly patted your back as you continued coughing up, amusement painted all over her face. "Your stubbornness is admirable, but it'll also be the cause of your death."

You chugged down the glass of water with relief while ignoring her words.

After enough time have passed, Sevika forced through the obvious elephant in the room and spoke first. "We'll be staying over here for tonight."

That part was clear to you. You looked widened your eyes in question, and then what?

Sevika wasn't sure either.

So instead of answering you, she changes the subject. standing up and clearing her throat, she then says; “I'm going to go put our stuff upstairs. But then after that. I was thinking that I could show you around, give you a little tour. How about that?"

You were unresponsive at first, mouth agape and brows furrowed in confusion. But then after a minute, you purse your lips close and gave a single nod. Sevika moved around you and grabbed the bags from the floor before disappearing up the stairs and away from your sight.

---

You're not sure how to feel at this very moment. It wasn't just Sevika and the impending doom of knowing you're about to be removed from her life. It was also the stupid symbol painted red on the fading pale walls you had witnessed a few minutes ago.

Sometimes it felt like no matter wherever you went, no matter how far you're willing to travel, the symbol will always follow from behind, haunting you for the rest for your life.

The last time you had a run in with the pirates was a year ago, at an unpopular island far away from Zaun. The incident has no significance to you.

What had really shaped your life was your first run in with them, as a baby.

There is truly no running from your past. Your mother had only managed to escape your father through death.

It was the classic selkie tale. Your poor mother had been kidnapped and forced into marriage with the pirate king of the Black Fury as he held onto her coat, making sure she'd be unable to escape.

She suffered for years by his side, and even after you came along, the sorrow and yearning for the sea never ended for her. And when the opportunity to snatch back her coat and her freedom appeared, your mother did not wait to claim the waves as hers again with little you following along.

Your peace didn't last long though, for they were relentless in tracking her down to the very ends of the worlds. And found her, they did.

You still remember pushing into the pulsing wound on your mother's chest as blood swims out freely after you've managed to remove the arrow from her skin.

He never tried to come for you. You're both glad and offended for that. You're glad that there's no target on your back, but you're offended that he perceives your existence as having so little value, being able to be so unaffected by the fact that he had robbed a child of its mother.

Sometimes it even feels like mockery when you keep bumping into them in every crook and corner of the earth you run to.

A wicked reminder of what he had ripped off of your arms. And even now, your father somehow manages to find his way into your life, mocking you as you're about to lose another person you care about.

You try to play it off for the whole damn time, but as you're sat at this squeaky stool, throat sore and apple juice untouched, all you really want to do is break down into tears.

You hear Sevika's faint footsteps nearing you and felt her hand on your shoulder seconds after.

Tilting your head up towards the woman, you're met with a certain softness in her face that she only reserves for you. She is silent at first, analysing your expression and trying to figure something out but not knowing what it exactly is.

"You ready?" She asks you then. You lifted yourself off the seat and beckoned at her to lead the way as a response.

You don't miss how she made sure to keep you on her right side and away from the open street. You noticed the flex of her palms and almost reached out for her hand first but managed to hold yourself back.

You would rather die than show to anyone else but yourself on how truly desperate for connection you really are on the inside. And so you waited for her fingers to find yours, but disappointingly, they don't.

"I thought I'd take you to the market first." Sevika says, breaking the silence. "It's less hectic this hour. If you think it's full now, wait till you see how it gets in the afternoon." It wasn't often that you'd get to see a nervous Sevika, and it was even less often that you'd get to see her rambling.

"It has like a shit ton of stuff you'd like- not that I really know what you like besides fish." She added with a short laugh. "But you're a girl, and girls usually like jewelry and sweet treats and shit, so yeah.",

“Shit” You repeated after her quietly before humming to yourself while keeping up with her steady pace. It hasn't even hit 12pm yet, but the sun is already scorching, it's heat being so strong that you're sure your skin could stretch and break under the direct streak of it.

You were grateful for the worn out roof shielding you and Sevika from the sun momentarily, but as you begin sweating from your forehead down to your back, reminiscence of the cold and welcoming sea comes in flashbacks at the back of your mind.

Being able to be one with the water again seems to be your only source of comfort for today. You find yourself peeking your head out to search for the sea once you reach the market entrance that's close to the shore.

Sevika waits for you to enter first, keeping herself close from behind. It was honestly hard for you to truly be immersed in the little shops when you can't help being incredibly aware of her presence.

It had never mattered before if she was watching you. But as of right now, you just couldn't shake off the feeling of having your every little movement be judged under her observation.

You wondered if the version of you she saw in her eyes, is the real you. You wondered if she truly sees you or if she's just seeing a skewered, misinterpreted version of you.

Well, at this point, it doesn't really matter now, does it?

Slowing down your steps, you start to notice a pattern in the stalls. They all are selling around the some thing for different prices.

One thing that looks attractive in this stall, will surely be found in a couple stalls upfront in a more expensive pricing range and maybe more choices of colour.

You lingered at the small jewelry stall that focuses on beaded bracelets and charms as a small purple bracelet attracts itself to you. It has a small seashell shaped charm in the middle with lilac and white beads around it.

The old lady selling it only offers you a warm smile as you window shopped on her collection.

"Do you want it?" Sevika asks. You quickly shook your head no but saw that she had already pulled out a few coins out of her left pocket before pouring them onto the old woman's hand.

"Take it." She cocked her head to the bracelet hanging right by your eyes. You pulled it off its hook and slipped it around your wrist with ease, grinning to yourself as it fits you perfectly.

"It's your color." Sevika complimented as she guided you forward, her hand stays on the small of your back.

"Thank you." You whispered gratuitously. She doesn't react as she doesn't hear you, but it doesn't matter as she will always know the words you never speak through the way you look at her. It's almost like you're interlinked with her.

---

The two of you spent the next 2 hours just walking hand in hand, trying out fruits on a stick and testing cheap perfumes on your wrists before picking your favourites and not buying any of them at all.

The conversations are kept short between you two, but it remained intimate somehow, real and vulnerable in a world that is anything but.

Sevika tells you about her favourite foods and how this market has been standing tall for over 30 years since she was still a child.

She had even graced you with a story on how she used to participate in thieving activities, pickpocketing topsiders that roamed the street and didn't know any better.

"Sometimes they don't even realise anything's missing." She tells you with a snort.

"It was all fun and games until one of them catches you in the act, though. These topsiders, they like to get the law involved. And contrary to popular belief, those ass kissers don't perform based on fairness."

You frowned at yourself. "You got caught?" You ask her, each syllables sounding mouthy as you spoke them. You can’t imagine Sevika ever getting caught with anything.

Sevika snickered. You don't miss the way her eyes widened slightly when she heard your voice, it always takes her by surprise. "The real question here is, how many times did I get caught?" By the bitterness in her tone, you're gonna assume it was a lot.

You feel your feet ache while walking on the street, exiting the market as it starts to get more crowded at the hour.

Sevika mentioned lunch and you could hear your stomach growl at the mention of grilled fish.

Bending down to rub the soles of your feet, Sevika stops at her tracks when she notices that you're no longer beside her. She sees you and poses a questioning look. "You good?" She asks.

You hummed lightly and decided to take the oversized slippers completely off. They never fit right since they belonged to Sevika, but either way, it has always been your nature to be barefeet.

You let out a relieved sigh and smiled at the feeling of your feet being met with the hot pavement that has been sunbathed for hours.

Sevika is amused at your antics but says nothing when you shoved the slippers into her arms before resuming your journey.

The place she takes you to next is familiar to Vander's bar, but has more space and people inside. The door rings with a small bell as she pushes it open. Sevika leads you to a small booth before heading over to the counter to order for you. It’s almost instinctive at this point. The need to take care of you. The ability to know your needs before you do. She came back soon after, sliding into the seat next to you instead of sitting opposite you.

“I um, got you the seafood set.” You nodded absentmindedly, pretending to care. There is an intense silence and awkwardness that builds itself between you and her. Sevika cracks her knuckles in anxiety, avoiding looking at you for a solid 4 minutes before eventually tilting her body to face you. You turn to face her too, pursing your lips into a small line as you wait for her to speak.Sevika opens her mouth and stutters. “I-I_” her mouth closes again, this time with her eyes too as she winces at her verbal failure. Your hand reaches out to lightly trace over her left hand that sat on the edge of the table.

Her eyes reopened as she lets out a deep exhale. “Hi.” You mumbled, starting the conversation for her. Her nose flared as a choked laugh escapes her. “Hey.” She responded.

“Do you know why we’re here?” She asks gently as she tries to read you. You say nothing, your whole body freezing at the question. Sevika lets the silence lingers for a few moments before she starts again. “I need to get you back home, sweetheart. I can’t keep you with me forever.”

Why not? You wanted to cry out to her. But instead you just stare at her, reactionless.

She keeps looking at you like she’s waiting for you to break, and when you don’t, she’s even more scared because she can’t tell how you’re feeling.

“Can you tell me anything? I could just give you to the enforcers, but I'd rather not do that.” It sounded like a threat, Sevika thought and silently cursed herself for it.

You turned your gaze downwards towards your lap, thinking to yourself. Then, you looked back at her and imitated writing on paper. Sevika got the message instantly and scrambled off her seat to find a piece of paper and a pencil. She returns victorious and slides the material towards you.

You hesitated with the pencil in your hands, knowing that whatever comes next will be a direct result of your confession. But you’ve reached the end of your rope, there’s nothing to grasp on anymore at this point anyways.

Sevika frowned as she watched you drawing a circle instead of writing. Her confusion fully formed into terror as you finished your sketch and slid the paper back to her.

She felt her throat tighten as she stares down at the drawing. “Do you know what this symbol means?” She asks, meeting your darkened gaze. You raised a brow as if to ask back; “do you?”

Sevika then pulled the paper into her hand before scrunching it into a ball, squeezing it with her fingers. “You’re with them? The pirates?” You shook your head and made an expression of disgust. “No? So you ran away from them?” She attempts again. “That’s how you ended up in the waters? Because you tried swimming away from them.”

Obviously that wasn’t an accurate representation of what happened, but that would be the easiest way to explain it to her. “I escaped.” You whispered out, voice cracking. Sevika’s intense look faltered as she stuffs the ball of paper into her jacket pocket and moved closer to you. She wanted to say something comforting, reassuring, but she wasn’t even sure if she was in a place to promise you anything at all.

The moment abruptly ended when the waiter appeared out of nowhere, placing two plates of hot meals before the both of you. In a flash, Sevika recollects herself, calming herself down as she returned to her initial seat and insisted you eat first before any more discussion is continued.

You were starving, and the sight of well cooked fish distracted you as quickly as a shark does its prey. Sevika had to force herself through every chew, her appetite had disappeared at the sight of the Black Fury symbol you had drawn out. She had so many questions, so many worries. Were you a fugitive then? Would you be killed if anyone from the crew spotted you? Would she?

Sevika watches as you devour the meal in such a short amount of time. How long had you been in the sea before you reached her lighthouse?

The ship couldn’t have been sailing anywhere near it, she would’ve seen it if it had. Your entire existence is a fucking mystery. She was intrigued as well as concerned. She has this strong nagging feeling in her chest that begs for her to protect you, a part of her that has long known what she refuses to admit. And that is the fact that she cared for you, more than one should for a stranger, or even a friend.

She wanted you too. Gods, she wanted you like nothing else. And that feeling scares the shit out of her.

And yet, attraction and all things emotional and possessive aside, the survival focused part of her is whispering in her ear to let you go. To give you up as soon as she could.

You have brought colors back into her life. You made her feel things she wasn’t sure she could still feel.

Think of all you’d lose if they discovered that you’ve been harbouring a fugitive. She urges herself.

Nothing much. She argues back. And it’s true. Sevika has already lost everything important to her. Everything except…you.

To know the exact shape of your hand against hers and never be able to feel the vreases of your palm and grip of your fingers again would feel like death itself. Even now, considering the idea of giving you up, made her feel broken, like all the air in her lungs have been ripped out of her chest. The Gods have already taken everything from her.

Once the heart is sure of what the mind isn’t, the pull would be hard to stray away from. How would she live now, in the cold and unwelcoming walls of the lighthouse?

Now that she has experienced what it was like to be warm again. Now that she knew exactly what she wanted from life. Because isn’t that what life is all about? To finally have wants again, and to live for the hope of it all.

Would it be selfish for her to ask for this one damned thing?

Just to be able to have you at arms length, always. To never know what it’s like waking up everyday being sure of your absence. I’m not asking for the whole world. She thought to herself.

But losing her would be the equivalent of losing herself and all the parts she have just learned existed in all the shabby, worn out corners of her deep and dark heart. It would break her. Is she so truly and very sinful that she deserved that?

The conversation was not brought up again by either of you once you were done eating, and the walk back was quiet as her hand held onto yours for the whole time. Her tired heart could not carry the conversation again, it would have to wait for the next day to come.

Now all she wanted was to hold you, to never see a world without you in it. And it is as if you feel the same way, with the way you lean into her touch and lets her keep you close.

—

Midnight strikes on the clock as Sevika wakes up with a gasp. Her arm reaches for you instinctively but finds only emptiness by her side on the small bed.

Her paranoia is halted as she finds you by the window. As you always are, even in the lighthouse. Sevika smiled to herself as she admired her view. She gently pushes herself the covers off and walks herself to your small standing figure.

Once you two arrived back at Vander's place, you had quickly went upstairs while she discussed the new information with Vander.

His face turned grim once he saw what was drawn on the crumpled piece of paper she had pulled out of her pocket.

Sevika knew Vander. He would never tell her to give you up, and yet she could still see through his facade and knew that he was afraid.

Neither of them had a solid answer on what the right thing to do is. It's all about perspective at the end of the day, isn't it?

Right and wrong. It all depends on whose perspective you're seeing it from.

You didn't flinch when she grasped your shoulder and remained unmoving as you stared off at the small view of the sea. There’s longing in your eyes. Your brows are knitted together as you stare away. “You miss it don’t you?” She mutters softly, snaking an arm around your waist.

Sevika sighed out softly as your back fell against her chest. “I miss it too.” And she did. She especially missed the mundane days of daily cleaning and fixing while you lurked near her like a little shadow, thinking you're subtle when you're not.

Your fingers wrap around hers as they remain on your waist, an acknowledgment.

“You know, at first I only ever took the job as a way to punish myself.” You frowned at her words, still looking out.

“I wasn’t a good person before you, never claimed I was” She murmured against your shoulder, grazing her lips gently on the cotton of your shirt. “I don't even think I'm a good person now.” She's not. She's selfish with the way she refuses to let you go.

“The lightkeeper before me went mad.” Sevika spoke.

“A shipwreck happened by the rocks, and no boats or help came until only two months later. He tried to find survivors by himself but failed. The bodies, their mangled and bloody state, it haunted him.” You tilted your head slightly, your gazes connecting as her head found safe haven in the crook of your neck.

“The stench…they said it covered the whole tower. And when they finally found him, he was just a shell of a man, out of his fucking wits.”

Your chest tightened at the visual imagery of her story. “When they explained what happened, I thought to myself; oh that’s perfect, just what I need.” A bitter laugh followed after her words. Your frown deepened as you felt sadness enter your heart.

“What a masochist, I know.”

“But then, as the months passed and routine formed, I realized it wasn’t so bad after all. It's isolating, sure. But I've always managed to feel alone even in a room full of people. The only difference now is I can see it as much as I feel it.”

“And then…” She trails off. “And then my first body appeared. You.” You twisted your neck up to lock eyes with her. “And gods did you haunt me as much as that poor man was haunted.”

There was sadness in the way she carried herself tonight. The way she held onto you like she'd never see you again. Was that the plan, then?

To lay everything out in the open one last time, in case the opportunity doesn't present itself anytime in the future?

You couldn't say anything even if you wanted to. There was desperation in the way you gawked up at her, yearning that clawed on your chest. And so you did the second best thing you could next to talking and closed the distance between you two.

Sevika had no hesitation once you’ve captured her lips with yours. Her metal hand found its place on the side of your face, cradling your cheek softly as her right arm brought you closer to her, gripping your waist with need.

The kiss was hot and passionate. You fit against her like she’s been moulded specifically for your body. Her tongue darted out and wetted your bottom lip. Gasping out softly and melting into her arms, Sevika snuck her tongue inside your mouth. You held onto the back of her head like holding onto reins and pulled on her hair. making her groan into the kiss.

Sevika is tireless now, her craving for you is carnal. Turning you to the side until you back bet the glass window, Sevika only broke off the kiss to attach herself on your neck instead. Her arms travel lower until she’s able to lift you higher and position herself in between your thighs as your legs wrap against her waist easily. Her grip on you is bruising, but you wanted all of it, the pain and intensity, everything that came with her.

Sevika tries to be gentle as her teeth finds the sensitive point of your neck, but as you whine against her, all of her composure fell apart. She bit into your neck and sucked into it, eager to mark you. Your nails dig into her back, making her moan into your skin.

She needed to become one with you, needed to be the one to make you fall apart. Needed to be the only one who knew how you'd look and sounded like in such a vulnerable position.

And she knew that you needed it too. Sevika would give you what you wanted, even if it's the last thing she'd do.

The next day, Sevika was woken up by the harsh streak of sunlight and you were nowhere to be found.

#sevika #arcane #sevika x reader #wlw #sapphic #sevika arcane #sevika arcane x reader

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ithebookhoarder · 1 year ago

Note

It's completely fine if you don't do this but I loved your Colin one, so can you do how the other brothers would react if they found out you were pregnant??!?!?!?!

Unexpectedly Expecting (Anthony / Benedict Bridgerton x AFAB!reader):

A/N: Thank you for sending this in! I'm combining this with another request - I hope that's ok? 👇 As both were on a similar track, but I can always do more later on this because who doesn't love imagining the Bridgerton boys with little ones?! 🥰

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, mentions of childbirth, references to doctors and medical professionals, pregnancy symptoms like nausea and morning sickness, mentions of trouble conceiving a child, sex references, swearing, blood (let me know if I missed any!).

Masterlist:

Anthony Bridgerton:

As Viscount Anthony would likely be expecting to have children and heirs of his own and yes, it would be a concern if you weren’t falling pregnant as a couple. However, I think it upsets him more than anything because of how upsetting it is for you. He loves you and seeing you beating yourself up and making yourself sick with worry is heartbreaking.

He has so many siblings and they have children so the Bridgerton estate and line will continue, he soothes, hoping it would take some pressure off of yourself. If you fall pregnant then that would be a blessing, but you weren’t a failure. In fact, for all he knows, he could be the issue. It’s impossible to be certain either way and he would never let you take that on yourself. Any arguments you’d have would be about that and nothing else.

“If you think I will sit here and allow you to abuse yourself in such a way then you are sorely mistaken, my love-“

“-You don’t understand, Anthony! This is my fault. Even if you do not agree. To society, to the rest of the world, the blame will lay solely on me! That’s all that matters!”

“No! You are all that matters and I will not allow you to keep torturing yourself this way. We will stop, do you hear me? No more talk of heirs or blame or anything to do with the subject. Let us just enjoy our life as it is for now. The future is unimportant.”

Violet would side with Anthony, as would all his siblings. They love you too and want you to be happy - even if Violet does offer some tips and insights on ways one could assist with falling pregnant, but only at your request.

Still, when you’re not with child months later you start to lose hope.

It gets worse as more of the Bridgerton siblings start getting married and falling pregnant. They would never rub it in your face, but it doesn’t make it any less painful when you see them or their partners caressing their bumps or discussing what names they could choose.

You’d wish them well, obviously, but inside you feel like you’re dying. Even Anthony holding you close and pressing a comforting kiss against your cheek does nothing to raise your spirits.

With each passing day you become just a little more certain that you’re not destined to have a child… which is why you’re utterly stunned when you miss your monthly bleed - not once, but twice…

You didn’t say anything at first, obviously worried that it was just delayed from your recent stress. However, when it happens again you start to dare to hope for the impossible and you’re all but racing to get a physician to confirm the diagnosis.

As soon as you do, you’re racing straight back to your husband to share the good news. You don’t care if he is in a meeting, at his club, with his family or even in the middle of the street. You still sprint to his side and blurt the news for everyone to hear.

The tears are instantaneous, as is the cheer of delighted disbelief he gives, throwing his arms about you and spinning you around until you’re both dizzy. “This… this is the greatest blessing we could have received, my love. I’m so happy… we’re going to be parents? We’re having a child?… oh, lord. We’re having a child.”

This man has been acting as a father to his siblings for so long you have no problem imagining him taking to the role like a duck to water. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be scared out of his mind to think of the responsibility of raising a child of his own.

You can expect this man to be badgering his mother with a never ending list of questions - heck, he’d even swallow his pride and ask Simon and Daphne for advice if it came to it. After all, ‘if Hastings can do it, it can’t be too difficult’.

You’re laughing too hard to even try and correct him.

This man would be so protective of you whilst you were pregnant - especially after the troubles you’ve had getting to this point.

“I really think you ought to have a maid accompany you when you journey to and fro. I should hate for something to happen to you."

“Anthony, I’m only going for a walk around the garden!”

“But still-“

Anything you could possibly need he has already bought three of them. No expense is spared for you and your unborn child - including summoning doctors from their beds in the middle of the night if you even think something might be wrong with either you or the baby.

Speaking of doctors, he would fight anybody who tried to banish him from your side when the time comes. He and his mother, should you wish her there, would be at your side the whole time. They would be your biggest cheerleaders and would do whatever they could to ensure you were cared for and supported, whether it be mopping your brow, holding you as you pace around, or advocating for you against any doctor who tries to violate your wishes about the birth.

And when you are finally handed a crying, wrinkled, cherub with Anthony’s eyes… well, it’s all worth it. You have never felt a love as pure as this, except for when you met Anthony, and nothing can ruin such a perfect moment.

Benedict Bridgerton:

Benedict would be so calm about possibly having children with you. If you do have children, then they will be loved and adored - obviously. But if you don’t? Then that doesn’t matter. It means you two can continue your adventures together for a while longer, travelling wherever your heart desires, visiting galleries and indulging in your bohemian lifestyle with all your friends.

You have your freedom - even more so now that you’re married. Society doesn’t care what you do now that you’re no longer on the marriage mart. It’s liberating, and any pressure to produce heirs comes from only you or your loved ones, so it’s non-existent.

However, if you did want children then Benedict would be more than eager to help create them… and get creative about doing so.

“Benedict! That is not how a child is conceived… no wonder you’re a student of the arts. The academy of science would never admit you with such a lack of understanding about basic anatomy!”

“You’re right, my dear, but you have to admit - this is a hell of a lot more fun.”

He would be nothing but supportive of you and so gentle every time your monthly bleed approached, especially if nothing happens. He understands how your hopes rise and how hard it hits you when you realise it hasn’t yet worked. He’d never insult you or diminish your feelings.

If anything, he would be quick to shoulder any possible blame, refusing to let you even begin to suggest that it has anything to do with you or your body. You are perfect. End of - and he’ll fight anyone who suggests otherwise.

“You can’t rush things, angel. After all, the best things are worth the time and effort. Michelangelo took over four years to finish the Sistine Chapel, and Da Vinci sixteen years to paint the Mona Lisa. Some things are worth the wait… and if it doesn’t happen how we wish, then we’re already creating something so beautiful between us. Our family will be perfect, no matter how it looks, how it comes about, or even when it does.”

And when it does? Well, then you’ve never seen him look so happy, tears pouring from his eyes as you confirm the good news.

You also fear for a moment that he’s about to swoon, he goes so pale and he even starts to breath heavily as he paces back and forth, muttering ‘I… I’m going to be a father? A father? Me?’. His imposter syndrome would hit him with full force and it would take several weeks for him to process it enough to calm down and be excited rather than terrified. However, he’d never have been anything other than positive towards you. You know it’s his love for your unborn child that makes him panic about being a good father.

Also, he would be SO supportive once you are expecting. He would be there holding your hair back if you felt nauseous and bringing you endless cups of tea without you even asking.

He wouldn’t complain in the slightest about staying in with you, rather than going to whatever social events his family had organised. As he argued, it gave him ample time to finish whatever piece he was working on next and he got to keep you company in the meantime.

I just feel he’d paint something for the baby, whether it be a piece to hang on the wall of the nursery, or the wall of the nursery itself. You’d find him stood in front of the nursery wall, covered in paint, but beaming ear to ear.

“It’s beautiful, Benedict.”

“Well, our baby should be allowed to enjoy the full beauty of a spectrum of colours, rather than just ‘white’ on the walls - and the sooner they begin to understand the art of composition, the better in my opinion.”

You would also be receiving gifts from all your artistically minded friends, which is heart-warming. They’d crown them their newest ‘little liberal’ and would devote themselves to ensuring your off-spring would have a well-rounded eduction about the higher arts of life - something Benedict is keen to endorse.

“When are they not ‘too young’ to have an art tutor?”

“Maybe wait till they can hold a paint brush first, Benedict.”

“What about poetry?”

“Again, I think they should probably learn the alphabet before we try them on Wordsworth or Donne.”

Given what he says in his book I know he’d secretly want a girl but you know that as long as it’s happy and healthy then that would be enough. After all, it would be yours, made from your love in a living, breathing creation greater than any painting or sculpture.

He would be awe struck when you hand them to him, afraid he might break them somehow. He would just sit and stare at them for hours, admiring them like the finest sculpture.

“I promise to be the best possible father you could ever want, my love. I will do whatever I can to protect you and make you, and your mother, feel cherished. I won’t let you down… even if you turn out like most of your Uncles and have no idea what the difference is between a sonata and a sonnet.”

#ithebookhoarder #masterlist #thesilentmage #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton #benendict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x y/n #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x you #anthony bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton

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purinfelix · 4 months ago

Text

pretty as a picture - sim jake ˚⟡˖ ࣪

summary - in which your job as a photographer becomes unexpectedly difficult because of your new model ──── jake x photographer! reader || fluff, first meeting, they're both a little smitten || w/c; 566

a/n: idk what it is with my sudden bursts of inspiration to write for enha but i hope y'all enjoy this !!- the idea literally came to me as soon as i saw the first pic on pinterest lol

"Just a little to the left Jake."

"Like this?" you watch as his brows knit together, curving upwards as he follows your instructions obediently.

"Yes, exactly," you say with a smile, positioning yourself behind the camera lens once more.

You have to say he's one of the most difficult clients you've worked with so far, and being a professional photographer you don't say that often. Though it definitely isn't because of his inexperience or uncooperativeness - actually it's the complete opposite. He follows your instructions exactly, and you can tell he's not new to these sorts of photoshoots. The issue is that every time you find yourself looking through your camera, into his eyes you're caught off guard at the sight of him looking back at you so earnestly - making you lose focus.

It's to the point where this photoshoot, which was only supposed to take twenty minutes, has stretched out to an unbearable one-hour-long challenge. You told yourself you'd finish up soon, though there's something about this concept that you feel you're struggling to capture - or maybe it's the fact that your subject matter is too frustratingly handsome. Whatever it is, it's taking forever and you can feel fatigue taking its toll on you as you let out a soft yawn before walking towards him again.

"Actually, try going back to the right, and maybe straighten up a little," you say, chewing your bottom lip in thought. You're endeared by how obedient he is though - it's almost as if he understands exactly what you want out of him, and is more than eager to deliver.

Still, something doesn't seem right and you can't help but let out a soft laugh at how ridiculously tired you feel - though it's clear this intention didn't come across.

"Wh- am I doing it wrong?" he suddenly asks, round eyes flicking up to you in worry.

"Oh, no-" you rush to reassure him, "it's just, I'm sorry this is taking forever you must be so tired," you sigh.

He only offers a soft smile in response, and a small shrug, "I'm alright, it's not too bad."

You nod back, feeling spurred on by his suddenly genuine response, now determined to complete the shoot for the sake of repaying his patience with you. Before you realise it you're grabbing his wrist gently, pulling it up to rest on the block in front of him and guiding his chin into its hold. It's only when you snap out of your sudden burst of inspiration that you notice just how close you are to him and how softly his gaze lands on you, in a way that makes him look almost in awe with you.

"Like this?" he says, barely above a whisper and you can't help but feel a small amount of pride at the fact that he's only talking to you now.

"Perfect," you hum back, holding back a smile as you rush back to the camera to capture his pose. It's only once you're behind the lens that you notice the smile spread across his face and light blush tinging his cheeks, which you tell yourself is just the job of the makeup department. Though it's hard to deny the way he looks straight into the camera lens, almost through it to you - meeting your eyes warmly as you take his picture and without even checking it you know it's perfect.

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hughiecampbelle · 7 months ago

Text

The Boys Preference: Finding Out About Sexual Trauma

Requested: hello, I would like to start off my request with saying that I know that this subject if a little tiny bit iffy and it’s a bit specific and personal. I read your blog rules as i am new to your blog and tried to follow them as best as I could, but the general subject matter of my request my be a bit triggering so if you don’t want to write this I wholeheartedly understand and will continue to enjoy your other works.may I please request the boys (any characters, just some general headcannon stuffs) with a reader who has s/a trauma and has trust issues throughout the relationship because of it (thinking that people only want them for that reason)? whether they find out accidentally or not is up to you, I hope that you are having a good morning/day/afternoon/night! :) - anon

A/N: My love! Thank you for requesting! I am writing from my own experience, so apologies if not everything is universal!! I don't go into detail or write anything graphic, mostly generalized emotions, thoughts, etc. Please don't read if this could be triggering. I am always here if anyone wants to talk!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💕

Butcher is upset. Not because it changes how he sees you or feels about you, but because you really thought he was only interested in you for your body. Butcher is a pretty sexual person. He likes having sex, especially when it's with you. You've had to take a step back and figure out why he's with you. You fear he's only with you for sex. Butcher makes sure you know, from now on, he loves every part of you. You never told him about what happened, thinking it was in the past, but it's not, and that's okay. He doesn't pish you to share what happened, but he lets you know that if you want to tell him, you can. He definitely takes a look at his actions and change them so that you never feel this way again. It kills him to think of how long you must've assumed this before bringing the subject up to him. He never wants you to be scared to bring this up or any other issues. He talks more about the things he like and doesn't like, hoping it'll start the conversation so that you know you can always be open about disliking certain touches or acts while also saying what you do like. He wants to make sure you never feel like you have to hide something like that from him again. He wants to do better, be better, and he is. Slowly, but surely.

Hughie could tell something happened, but he never wanted to assume anything. You were so hesitant to go out with him, hesitant to call and text, afraid he'd want to do things you weren't able to at the time. When he asks if you're okay, you open up about what happened. You have to go slow, very slow, but you don't want him to have to wait for you. It's not fair. He smiles, telling you he would wait forever if he had to. He wants to be with you, that's all that matters. If your relationship is unconventional, so what? He never wants to put you in a position where you feel triggered, scared, or unsafe. He waits for you to make the first move/step, and he follows. When you feel ready to kiss him, he's more than excited. He's all for slow and steady. He's the first to come to your defense if Butcher or anyone else says something. You've never seen him so upset. Whatever you decide to share with him, he's grateful for. He never wants you to feel pressured to explain why certain touches, acts, features, etc. make you upset or angry or irritated or scared. Hughie communicates everything. In fact, he might even over communicate, though of course you know he means well. Nothing changes how he feels about you.

Annie is the first to open up about her experiences. She tells you about what happened with The Deep. She knows she told the whole world, but it's still a conversation she wanted to have with you now that you're together. In return, you tell her about your experience/s. She listens carefully and makes sure you know she understands. She assures you she would never, ever do anything like that and would make sure anything you do, everything ranging from hand holding and kisses on the cheek to all types of intercourse, are talked about beforehand. You both have certain boundaries you won't cross, and it's an open, ongoing conversation as to what you do and don't like, what feels most comfortable, etc. Neither of you thinks of the other any differently because of these boundaries. When you are triggered by certain words, gestures, people, etc. Annie is right by your side, talking you through it, making you know you're safe with her, you're safe now.

M.M. didn’t know, but he kinda put two and two together. You made it very clear in the beginning of your relationship that you'd have to go slow, building a new kind of trust from the ground up, going from friendship to partners. You jumped at the slightest touch, and he learned quickly to ask if you wanted a hug or to hold hands. When he realized something must have happened, he sat you down and explained you'd never have to tell him if you didn't want to, but he'd be more mindful from now on. He didn't want to assume anything, but you did confirm something happened, and you were still healing from it. After that, he was so much more careful and thoughtful with his actions. He never wanted you to feel judged or odd because of these changes to your relationship. You need a lot of reassurance that he isn't judging you, that he doesn't think of you any differently or mind being extra patient. He's never for a second thought of you or your relationship milestones as any different than past ones. You're still you, the person he loves. That's all that matters.

Frenchie suspected something might have happened. You fell apart when you had to go undercover with Kimiko in Russia. You couldn't bear the thought of someone even wanting to touch you like that, even if they'd end up dead afterward. He assures you you don't have to do it. It scares him a little. Not your reaction, but that fact that he wasn't paying attention beforehand. That's when you tell him what happened, why you can't let yourself be seen in that way, just for your body. Frenchie feels sick thinking you were put into this situation, forced to explain why when you might not have told me when you were ready. He doesn't tell why. He just says to Butcher, "Y/n's not doing it." Sensing something is wrong, Kimiko doubles down that she's got this handled alone. You voice your worries when you're home that he sees you differently. He doesn't. At all. He loves you. He loves you for you, not for your body or the kinds of pleasures you can share. Just you. He opens up about what happened with Little Nina, knowing you could understand. He doesn't do this as a way to turn attention towards him. Rather, it's to share so that you feel more comfortable opening up about your own experiences. He's more careful to show his affections, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable, and is far more committed to communication after your trip to Russia.

Kimiko sees red. She loves you more than anything. The fact that someone decided they had the right to do those kinds of things to you made her furious. She knows this is not at all helpful for you and immediately apologizes, assuring you she's here for you no matter what. She can get angry about it in her own time. She becomes so much more protective over you. You both have a lot of things you're relearning to do. The biggest challenge is intimacy. She never makes a move or tries something without consulting you and neither do you. Kimiko is shy as it is, something you're immensely grateful for. Your relationship is slow, and both of you are patient with one another. Taking baby steps is how you do it. You worry others will judge you for taking it so slow, especially since you've been together for quite a while, but Kimiko makes it known it is no one else's business. You take as long as you need. If anyone has an issue with it, they can take it up with her. She loves you. Nothing changes that. Nothing will ever change that.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 years ago

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AITA for seeking out a poly relationship on my own despite my partner being monogamous?

Let me be clear before I give major context. I (30MTF) would never force my partner (30F) to do something they do not want to do. I am not implying I want to force her into it. I just worry she may TAKE it that way.

Now, the context: I've been in a relationship with my partner for going on eight and a half years. Ups, downs, none have really tested our relationship, and I don't intend for this to do so either. I am polyamorous, they are not, and I have been aware of that for a long while because of their abusive ex trying their best to force her into some majorly uncomfortable poly relationships in the past. She is, by and large, someone I have wanted to spend my life with for almost all of those eight years and the only reason we haven't gone any further is due to it being long-distance.

During the last few years, though, she has been going through some absolutely horrid at-home problems. I dare not air out her laundry, but it is some shit that has made me quietly pause about even bringing it up for a good long while.

I am crushing on one of my friends (29NB). Hard. It is not a case of "leave my partner for them", because she's stuck with me no matter how much shit life throws her way. Love her to death. But I AM poly. And it IS common knowledge in my friend group that I'm with her. Of course, I would not do anything against her wishes, nor do this behind her back.

So before even admitting my romantic feelings to the person I'm crushing on, I did bring it up to her. And... either due to the stress she's under or her previous issues with a polygamous relationship being, she did not say no outright, but it took me multiple times explaining that I PERSONALLY want to try this without forcing her to also date this person. She simply grew very quiet on the subject and wanted to think on it, and the subject hasn't been broached once since for the past few weeks.

Let me repeat this: I do not want to force her into this. I am not trying to make her also date this other person. And again, I am not leaving my partner for this other person. Nor would I force this other person (who is ALSO poly like I am) into dating her either. Plus, if she says no, I will not be happy, but... it would be what she wants.

It's just... she's under so much stress, and I feel like a complete asshole for pining for one of my friends. I worry she's taken it the wrong way, and that she's afraid I'm going to eventually leave her for them. I wouldn't have been with her for eight full years and change if I didn't want to stay with her.

TL;DR: I want to be in a SEPARATE poly relationship with a friend of mine without forcing my monogamous partner into it as well. After bringing it up to her, I feel like I broke some level of trust with her despite not wanting to force her into anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bellysoupset · 2 months ago

Text

A much needed talk

This one is not a mini fic! And I recommend the Jon/Leo lovers read it 😘

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"I gave it some thought," Jonah said and Leo, who hadn't been paying attention to whatever his fiancé was blabbing about, frowned and pulled him closer. Jonah happily sat down on his lap, sideways so he could still get a good look at Leo's face as he went on to finish his sentence, "Beatrice if its a girl-" he kissed Leo, "and Henry if its a boy."

Leo only stared at him, brain giving him the blue-screen, not computing at all the sentence.

"You don't like it?" Jonah pouted, wrinkling his nose in a way that told Leo that this was certainly a hill he'd die on.

"Are those- Uhm, what?" Leo blinked quickly, trying to situate himself. The logical and only conclusion was that those were baby names.

"For the future," Jonah explained, slightly annoyed he had to repeat himself since clearly Leo hadn't paid attention before, "our future children."

Leo was aware that Jonah liked kids. He was always a mushy mess about his, very rare and sparse, young patients and he had witnessed Jonah melt like butter around Livia, Vince's little sister.

But there was an ocean's distance between liking children and wanting them.

Leo's face felt fuzzy and he was aware he had stopped breathing, because there was a tight squeeze deep in his chest, "no, I don't- No," he shook his head, vehemently, and pushed Jonah off his lap, "no."

"No?" Jonah moved away so he was sitting on the couch, watching with raised eyebrows as Leo got up and started to pace like a caged tiger, "what do you mean no, you don't like the names-"

"No," Leo tugged on the roots of his hair, feeling like his day was ruined. Hell, his month, his year. It shouldn't be causing him to panic this badly, but it was, because this certainly was a conversation that he didn't think they'd ever need to have. He thought they were on the same page about this issue, otherwise he wouldn't have waited until they had a fucking wedding date already to notify Jonah that he wanted nothing to do with children.

And now it was too fucking late and he felt like everything was about to crumble apart, because Jonah had that firm look of his that told Leo he was dead serious about this matter and this wasn't- It wasn't-

"Love, look at me," Jonah's hands were on his face, patting his cheeks, "Leo. Breathe, you're not breathing."

Leo sucked in air, greedily and almost wheezing, then crumpled forward with a coughing fit, hands braced against his knees as his head swayed. He stumbled and Jonah's hand wrapped tightly around his bicep, guiding Leo to sit down on the armchair across the couch, rubbing his back up and down as Leo continued to cough and splutter for air.

"Well, that was dramatic," Jonah teased him, as soon as Leo's breathing eased and he was folded in the middle, face buried in his hands and taking deep, steadying breaths, "what the hell happened?"

"I don't- I don't want children," his voice was hoarse, shot from all the couching, and barely above a whisper. Leo tentatively lifted up his head, already dreading looking at Jon, "I don't."

He half expected, hoped, that his brain was playing tricks on him and playing up the situation. That Jon was going to shrug and tell him that was fine and move on from the issue, but instead Jonah's lopsided smirk vanished and his whole face fell.

Yeah, he had read that right from the get go.

"Pardon me?" the english accent that rarely bled over, suddenly extremely noticeable as Jonah moved from his crouched down position next to the armchair so he could sit on their coffee table, terribly serious.

"I don't want children," Leo repeated, feeling dangerously close to tears, "I didn't think- I didn't think you wanted them either, I was sure we both didn't-" it wasn't meant to turn into him explaining himself, half apologizing for not breaching the subject earlier, but it was just that, "are you- Are you serious?" he felt clammy and queasy before Jon even answered.

"Yes, I'm serious," there was no emotion on his voice, not anger or annoyance, but no warmth either, "obviously not now, I think we should enjoy our married life first, but not much further in the future either. I don't want to be a geriatric father, I want to enjoy their childhood."

He could just see it, very clearly, exactly what Jonah was telling him. In his thoughts the kid looked like Livia because that was all imagery his brain had to feed him, arms wrapped around Jon's neck and him giggling with her as Leo had watched in Sicily.

He should've known.

"Why don't you want them?" Jonah's question took him by surprise and Leo shrugged, shaking his head.

"I have never- I don't-" there were multiple reasons and none of them sounded believable to his ears or good enough, "I don't know, I just don't."

Jon's jaw locked, lips pressed into a thin line, "alright," he rubbed a hand over his face, the first gesture that betrayed how distraught he was too and Leo latched onto it, "I- I think you have to think on it and then we can talk. If you're just-" his voice caught and he cleared his throat, avoiding Leo's eyes, "if you're just scared, we can work through it. It wouldn't be immediate anyways, it's not like we can get pregnant by accident... But if- If you're serious... I'm serious too, Leo. I want this- I don't think it'd make sense for us to-"

He was stumbling all over his words now and Leo's stomach squeezed even more. Jonah didn't stutter or get nervous, not unless it was incredibly close to his heart.

"It wouldn't make sense for us to be together...?" he questioned in a little voice, eyes prickling, "Jonah, please-" he was not above begging, but it was pointless. Jon was adamant, eyes meeting his and they were teary eyed, but serious.

"I love you," he said, sniffling and closing and hand his fist as if trying to rein in emotion, "I do, Leo, and there's no one I'd want this with, but you-"

"But...?" he was going to die, Leo thought, a vicious grip around his lungs.

Jonah sniffled again, "but I won't force you into this," he gulped down, "I need you to figure out what you want. And if it's actually not ever having kids, then-"

Then they'd break off the engagement.

Leo's whole body deflated as he fell boneless against the armchair, realizing it wasn't an argument or even an ultimatum, it was simple reality. One of those decisions where it mattered if they thought differently from each other, it mattered a whole fucking lot.

"Where- Where are you going...?" Leo's brain was struggling to keep up with the influx of sadness drowning him, so he took a minute to realize Jonah had gotten up from the coffee table and was walking back to their room, "Jon-" he got up to follow him.

"I think we need to be apart, a little," Jonah didn't sound angry, just defeated as he grabbed a suitcase inside their closet and planted it on the bed, "just to think."

"We can think here," Leo tugged on his sleeve, "please don't leave, I'm-"

"No, Leo, no," Jonah turned around, taking his hands on his, impossibly soft, which was worse. Leo would much rather take annoyance and anger, but not this defeated calm, "we're not breaking up, okay? Or on time out, or fighting, but you need to think this through. Really think it, not because I want it, not because I'm sad about it, I need you to be clear where you stand on this, then we can figure things out."

Leo didn't realize he was openly crying until Jonah wiped at his cheek, brushing the tears away, "where- Where are you going...?" he whimpered, clutching the sleeves of Jon's sweater and not wanting to let go. Two hours before he had been on cloud nine marrying the man of his dreams and now it was crashing down so quickly and swiftly, Leo didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted it to be an argument, a fight, anything where he could fight for them.

"I'm going to Wendy's," Jonah leaned in, pulling Leo into a tight hug and rubbing his back, although now the blonde could tell he was shaking too, "just- Just for..." his voice was all choked up, "I don't want- You're not gonna do anything stupid, okay? We're not breaking up."

Yet.

Leo hugged him back just as tightly, "but we- We-" we will, he wanted to say, but couldn't finish his sentence, more blubbering sobs coming up instead.

"I'm going to- To text you when I get to Wen's," Jonah sniffled, pulling back, whole face a shade darker as he was straight up crying now.

"What happens if I say-"

Jon zipped up his bag, then sat down on the edge of the bed and bawled. None of the little squeezed tears he had been trying to hold back, but face hid against his hands and shoulders shaking, wailing.

Leo's heart broke into a million little pieces and he moved forward, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around Jon's back, pulling his boyfriend to him.

"Okay," he whispered, panic taking the back burner as comforting Jon took over, "that's okay, angel, we'll figure this out."

#mywriting #leo wagner #jonah banks #emotional whump #angst #hehehehehehe

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