#i don't get this reference but I want to be included because i'm lonely

[koboldkatalyst]

Alexa, toca 'Este Madrid' por Leño I guess.

[tiamathh]

METAMORPHOSIS - CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE

Note: Hello! Thank you for waiting! I hope everyone's doing well, stay hydrated loves 🤭 <33 Check out my Masterlist for more! <3 LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE V APPRECIATED!!

1 -> 3

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Pile 1

The next phase in your life is going to include you moving away from home. This can either include you moving out of your actual house and living independently or you distancing yourself from the familiarity of what feels like home and trying to step out of your comfort zone. You are supposed to be going on a journey or a trip and this is actually going to be life changing for you. If you have a trip marked on your calendar let me tell you something, you're going to be feeling very in touch with your emotions, if you've built walls around you or are someone who frequents the phrase "why am I supposed to care?" etc to protect yourself from caring too much because you think it's cringe or it makes you uncomfortable, times are changing finally. You're going to be owning the way you feel, you're going to be more open about how you feel and give yourself space to be more vulnerable around the people you love and cherish, not feeling like you have to keep up the "tough" image and truly letting yourself live laugh love.

You are entering a time where your relationships are going to be flourishing, some of you have been through a rough few months when it comes to the people around you, you may be feeling used, betrayed, cheated or even sidelined by them. However new people are coming into your life, they're not only going to be on the same level as you but they'll also be people who will be a little contrasting personality wise like they'll fill the gaps for example if you're not good at communicating but they are and if they're not good at being vulnerable but you are, there's going to be a very healthy exchange of energies and it will help you maintain a sense of self without being overly dependent on them or developing a codependent relationship. Also I have to mention you're finally going to be getting a break, you'll get time to rest and relax and just take a seat because a lot of work you may have done in the past, and this I'm getting could be referring to the past few years related to academics or career, is going to be bearing fruit, making life feel more easy breezy for you lot!

Pile 2

Really good messages coming in for you pile 2! To begin with you may have been feeling a little stagnant lately, not in a bad way, just in a "stuck in a monotonous routine" kind of way, where there's nothing wrong but it just feels full and unexciting. That's changing for you, you're going to be entering a time of your life where things will still be peaceful and calm just slightly more fast paced so that you have to work harder to keep up. Anyone that you haven't moved on from in the past, or even anything maybe people maybe situations, you're going to be shedding off that old skin and almost starting over, there will be a new chapter which will be making you feel more enthusiastic about life. You're realising that you don't need to carry the weight of your past around and are going to be putting yourself out there more, you'll be healing and maybe working with balancing your energies. During this time it would be good for you to engage with energy healing or chakra work as well as soundbaths.

After a long while, you'll be more comfortable being alone, you won't be feeling lonely when you're alone but rather use that time for introspection and working on yourself. This time alone will give you a lot of insight about what you actually want when you strip away everything that society or societal norms tell you you need to achieve. Who would you want to be in life if you didn't have any obligations to anyone? Those are the kinds of questions you will be answering and it'll make you more confident in your skin as well, because you'll truly realise who you are and what you want. I keep seeing the fool so this also shows to me that there's a new chapter opening for you, one where you can make mistakes, you SHOULD make mistakes so that you can learn and grow without dire consequences looming over you. Fresh starts are great for that <33

Pile 3

Hi Pile 3! I feel like with this pile, some of you may be struggling a LOT with breaking past patterns, you may be unable to get out of bad habits because you feel comfortable in that pattern of predictability even if it's bad for you, even against your good judgement. For some of you this could be addiction, which is very difficult to deal with and I'm sorry if any of you are going through that, addiction doesn't necessarily have to be related to substance abuse (even if it could be) it can also be related to shopping or escapism and you will be finding yourself being free of it soon. World has been feeling too fast for you as opposed to the other piles, so for you things are finally slowing down, you're nowhere near the completion of a cycle, in fact you may have started one the end of this August/start of September, so you still have a few months for the cycle to end, it'll probably end somewhere next year around February or March (probably March end though). You need to realise that this is the phase of your life you should focus on, going slow is a good thing! It means you can check yourself and your surroundings, that you can be more present in moments in your daily life, that you can cherish the people and situations around you.

This is a time in your life where you'll be celebrating your wins a lot more, you'll be building your wealth and earning, also a lot of savings! You'll be saving money, bringing down your spending and truly deciding what you need to buy and what you will use if you buy it, so a lot more thought will go into where you're putting your money.

Lastly, if you feel like you've been wronged recently, don't worry, divine justice is in the works, you were "betrayed" or "misled" by someone so that you could be removed for a situation where you had no growth potential, doesn't mean it was right though, neither was the gaslighting that came after (ultra specific) and the person or people who did this will get theirs in due time and you may be present to witness it front row!

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

[drdemonprince]

Hey Devon. This is related to community-building ask, as I feel it kinda hit something in me, and that is my frustration with my local queer "main community", who is mostly made up of people who can work/hang together (people in visual and performative arts, LGBT NGOs, event organisers and so on). It's so closed off and so circlejerk-y that it's demoralising. I've been trying to fit in ever since I started being an adult, almost ten years ago, but I have never made any progress on getting to any of its members. I have made queer friends who are wonderful people, and as you said in the previous ask, that is enough and makes a community of our own already. Nevertheless, it is frustrating for all of us to go to a queer space/show/event just to see that the crowd there is made up of people who know each other and talk to each other and make big groups, while we're just sitting there. It brings us down to know that for queer political events like protests (which are ofc organised by them), we have no one left to fall back on except us. It makes it weird when only one of us is able to go protest, they'd rather not go because it feels so lonely to be sitting around all those people who just know each other, who have been passing by us for so many times over the years, and yet never take interest in even saying "hi" or whatever. It makes us think that they're fucking disingenuous and their "community building" is a load of crap. And I don't really want to feel like that about my people, but look at me, after almost ten years in my city, I fucking do.

Hi there, thanks for your message.

Let me just say that while I understand where the perception comes from, the queer people who put on shows, run nonprofits, and go out clubbing are not "The main lgbtq community" in your city. They're just a bunch of cliquish, careerist, young, privileged people who market themselves as such because they've been convinced that's what the "queer community" is and because doing so helps them get butts in seats at events.

I've seen theater kids, drag performers, DJs, comedians, party promoters, and other various people of the attention-seeking arts (said neutrally) do this all my fucking life. They stake a claim on building "feminist spaces" and "anti-racist" spaces, too, among other things, and use those higher values to sell tickets to their shit too. It's a way to make every tragedy that strikes oppressed people into an advertisement for their burlesques and shit. Don't let the self-important myopia get to you.

The real queer community? In any given city? Well, it's not any one thing. There is no singular "queer community". What people often refer to as the LGBTQ community or the queer community is a demographic, not an actual community. That demographic is marketed to, including by fellow queer people, but that does not a community make.

A community consists of people who know one another, and have enduring bonds, and who have shown up for one another mutually in multiple ways. A lot of these hot cool stylish young queer people are actually merely colleagues of one another. When there's a conflict, or a cancellation, or a venue that closes, they will be tossed to the wind like so many dandelion seeds. Compare that to you and your friends, who can and do remain in contact as the seasons of life change.

It is demoralizing to see so many people who talk a big game about community fail to show up to do activist work that is meaningful to you. I can't deny feeling the same way. For many years, I dated an actor who was very plugged into the local scene, and while his theater company had a reputation for being progressive, trans inclusive, even left-leaning, almost nobody in that collective did anything for the broader 'community' at all. They were all too busy being overworked five nights a week for like a $200 per week stipend, writing plays in which they repeated leftist platitudes but did relatively little.

I'm being a big overly cynical here -- the theater did just put on a big pro Palestinian fundraiser -- but the fact is that running a club, a theater, a local education org, or a regular drag show is a business, and in the end the business always comes first. Even when the members of that business might not want it to. They're often extremely exploited and underpaid, which is part of what makes them so hungry to market themselves and maintain their careers. I have sympathy for it. But meaningful social connections and local impact it does not make.

All of which is to say: please try to remember that these people presenting themselves as the symbols of the local "community" are just a bunch of artistic kids who are trying to make a living doing what they love. They're naive, exploited, a little self-absorbed yes, but they're ultimately not that important. they just deal in a very self-important line of work.

There are SO many queer people all around you who never go to those fucking clubs and shows and aren't even on instagram. The "main" queer community, demographically, is more like the nerdy 40 year old gay couple that lives down the street from you who goes out to the movies once or twice a month and holds board game nights with their friends. The "main" queer community is volunteering at the zoo, going camping with their fraternity brothers that they met 20 years ago, working at the car dealership, planting tomatoes at the local community garden, taking care of elders with dementia, organizing weekly running groups.

You can find people like this -- total normies -- who will care about causes greater than themselves and want to contribute to community building efforts. Many of those people are already doing a ton to make community. It's just less sexy and less self-consciously queer than like, the dance parties. It's also more diverse, accessible, and capable of meeting people where they are at.

It does sound like you would like to meet more activist friends / politically engaged friends, and for that I'd say try looking at pro-Palestinian (for example) events and spaces and seeing who turns up there, checking out a local food not bombs chapter, looking up local mutual aid groups or buy nothing groups, getting involved in hyper-local initiatives, and putting what feelers you can on local forums and personals boards (like Lex, local Facebook groups, local Meetup groups, etc). You probably wont find a perfect space, but you will find worthwhile people scattered everywhere you look!

[anundyingfidelity]

NO SECOND CHANCES — Brother Day/Cleon XVII

Summary: A lonely space traveler happens to save from a certain death the most annoying person of the entire galaxy, the Emperor.

Pairing: Cleon XVII x female reader.

Word count: 8.1k. (oooops).

Warnings: well, spoilers for whole season 2. Language, angst (the reader wants to die, really). Talks about suicide, talks about suicide attempts, reader having nightmares, PTSD, reader is suffering too. Some hurt/comfort, some fluff? Filthy smut (included but not limited to hand jobs, unprotected sex, oral from both parts, dirty language, etc. etc.), and end of the world sex (to Beki's arsehole bitches yay🥂). Also Cleon refers to the reader as "woman" a couple of times lol. Reader has pierced ears? (wait for it). Bittersweet ending tbh.

Notes: just trying to make slow burn in a one shot because I'm a lazy fucker who doesn't like to write stories with chapters, otherwise I don't finish shit. Uh probably OOC Cleon??? I don't know. Fully inspired by my favorite trope ever: saving the bad guy and making him humble. I don't care we're four people watching Foundation, I need to write about this little piece of shit I love him so much. Cleon XVII is a himbo I said it. Not beta, we die like bitches of the Gossamer court.

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Tagging: @curiouswildi hope you like it 🥺💘

GEN MASTERLIST!

I. BEYOND

The last thing wandering his mind was Bel Riose. Fucking Bel Riose. That idiot. They had won over him; over him, who was Empire and still meant to be for years ahead. Next, the cold feeling of space was embracing him. But he felt he was not floating around anymore.

Cleon was tied to a surface. It felt like harsh, uncomfortable metal under his back. He slowly forced his eyes open, moving his limbs and trying to escape whatever it was restraining him to do so. His wrists and ankles, as his waist, were tied by a light blue particle field preventing the patient to move at all. He was met with the roof of a ship and equipment, but it wasn't any Imperial one. In panic, he moved until he was able to shake the surface he was on, panting and grunting, feeling some pain and sting resurging all over him. The headache was becoming unbearable and the sounds coming from his dry mouth finally transformed into screams. The room doors opened and a strange voice catched his attention.

"Finally, you're awake."

Cleon obliged to follow the shadow moving around, his eyes focusing to try and see who was talking. He heard steps and the sounds of metal and glass clinking around, probably looking for medication and tools as he was know fully concius. The figure finally came to view by his side.

"I will inject this, so don't move," you said, grabbing his bicep. Cleon was about to protest, but the needle was faster and the medicine was welcomed on his vurnerable system, easing the pain and calming down the headache. "Welcome back, Eminence," you smirked to him.

"And just so, who are you?" he asked chuckling to himself, licking his lips. "What have you done to me?"

"First, I saved your life and cleaned all your bloody wounds. You should say thanks at least," you sat down dangerously close by his side, on the same surface he was on.

"I did not ask you for mercy."

"Oh, but I did," you replied, a smirk on your lips. "Perhaps I shouldn't have, right?" you took a small pencil-like device in your hand from the pocket of your pants and used it to scan his vital signs. You touched his face carefully with your fingers, examining his eyes, his heartbeat, and any anomaly that might be on his system from head to toe, but the scanner found none. Cleon watched you doing so until he asked again, his voice softer this time.

"Who are you?"

"Just no one as important as you are," you said, saving the scanner back.

"Where are we?" Cleon asked, looking around. He observed he was placed in a small medical bay.

"In space, in the middle of nowhere I suppose," you shrugged, getting on your feet again. "It seems you're recovering quite well and fast. At least that's what my scanner says. So first, I think you should want some water, which I am leaving right here," you put a flask on the small table next to him. "And before I give you this to drink, I want to make sure you will not restrain or fight back at me."

He laughed, that narcissistic smile on his face. You wanted to punch him.

"You're no match for me, woman."

"Really? Then I could just throw you out there again, you know, it's not difficult. I'm spending resources on you, surely I won't oppose to that idea," you snapped back.

His smile faded slowly, thinking. If it wasn't for you, he would be dead by now, it was true. But he was so used to be immortal and undefeteable that the situation was kind of new. He only had been vulnerable and exposed to his doctors in the palace, and you were a complete stranger. And still, you had the heart to take him in your ship and save his life. He sighed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Fuck, fine. What do you want me to do?"

So this was his way of cooperating, you thought.

"After I turn off the restraints, you will have to sit down on the stretcher. I will help you. Do not try to get up yet, you might feel dizzy."

With a nod he said to you the orders were clear. Next, the restraints disappeared in the air with a push on a button and Cleon felt a small relief. As you promised, you helped him to sit and he realized that the clothes he had before were replaced with a set of new pale grey robes that allowed him to move freely. You offered the flask to his lips, but he watched you with a questioning look on his face.

"Is only water, I swear. See?" you had a small sip from the bottle and he looked more at ease after you swallowed the liquid.

You offered the bottle again and helped him to slowly drink. Once he was done, you placed a small tray with fruits and dry seeds on top of the same table beside the stretcher.

"You might want to eat something," you said, breaking the silence under his fixed gaze. Even when he was sitting down and you on your feet it felt rather intimidating. "I'm still collecting supplies and food. You were certainly not part of the plan these days."

"So you travel alone," Cleon said, taking a small red fruit between his fingers and began to eat it.

"I do," you nodded. "Sorry if the taste of the fruit is not pleasant."

"You're doing your best," he said while eating, studying the room around him. You were not sure if he was mocking you or not. "What was your name again?"

You chuckled. "You're very interesting, Empire. Why don't you finish eating and rest before taking a bath?"

The next few hours, you left him to rest and escorted him to your quaters, the only place with a comfortable bed, so he could get proper sleep. Since there were no further questions from him, you got to your business and requested more provisions to the merchants. Traveling alone had made you some contacts and traders, from time to time you would request for food giving in exchange money or rare knick knacks, and within a day you had a small capsule with supplements heading to your coordinates with everything you needed. You just had to wait for now.

After checking the estate of your ship and confirming everything was working correctly, you went back to your quaters to see how the Emperor was doing. You were startled to see him sitting on your bed with a book between his hands. He looked like he just had a bath because his shirt was gone and his hair was wet, some droplets running down his skin. Quickly, you studied him. He was handsome, muscular, his skin had a beautiful tan, and he was tall and heavy as hell, something you noticed when cleaning his wounds and taking him inside your ship. The earring on his left ear was also interesting, you thought, for a member of the most important dinasty of the galaxy. Very rebellious for the emperor.

You also knew he heard you steping in but never looked up from the book because he was the first one to talk.

"Never I could imagine you would have books in here," he said, clearly interested on the pages.

"Yeah, not all of us are barbarians as you work so hard to convice yourself we are."

He chuckled to himself, looking at you for the first time since you entered the room.

"Are you from Korell?"

"The book gave it away, didn't it."

"This is very old," he said, closing the book. "You are for sure not allowed to have this in Korell."

"That is one of the reasons I left," you replied, looking around the place. It was obvious to you that he was pearing within your personal stuff because the old myth book was secured down your mattress. At least he didn't leave a mess and everything seemed in the right place. "I was a threat in my planet so Argo kept looking for me for some conspiracy shit and terrorism when all I did was oppose myself to his repression and freakshow," you continued, his eyes drew back to you. "They wanted me dead in Korell, but I am the only one to decide that, even when and where will it happen."

Cleon shifted on his seat, wondering why you were sharing a piece of your life to him when he didn't even know your name yet. Words and thoughts wandered his head on how would he answer to your words, compassion or empathy sometimes were difficult things to feel. But before he was able to speak, you interrupted his thoughts.

"I will leave you alone to rest for a while and will come back when it's around supper. I follow Kornell cycle of time, so you know... Just don't poke around my underwear, Empire," you dragged his title mockingly.

He laughed softly, going back to his reading.

"Thank you for the idea."

That was the first time you would hear him expressing gratitude.

II. GHOSTS FROM THE PAST

Around more than a week passed, and Cleon was healing and his wounds were not so visible now. You made sure to inject him every day and gave your quaters and bed for him to sleep and recover. He had took a pad you had in the room so he could count the cycle of days in Trantor. Hardly to admit, he found himself missing home rather than hatred. Sometimes the rage mixed with sorrow, but he forced himself to try and understand that it was a normal feeling due to the sudden lose of everything he once had.

Cleon had been up from some time now as he counted the end of the eighth day on the pad, and wondered why your daily visit was taking so long. It was a habit you had, to come in and wake him up with the medicine, and after it was done, you would tell him to eat some of the fruits and food on the tray you brought for him. He got on his feet and put a shirt on before leaving the room to search for you. On the pilot cabin, you had an improvised, small stickable mattress on the wall that had saved your life before, so you used it to sleep and rest the past few days while he cured. Cleon observed your figure lying down on the mattress, walking slowly and sensing something was not right. He found you shaking and trembling, eyes still closed and chest heavily breathing as your hand held onto dear life what he realised it was a gun.

He felt somehow frightened and confused. If you wanted to kill him, you would already have done it. You had made yourself clear on that. The tremor of your body seemed it was increasing and Cleon, with a gentless he did not know he possesed, tried to soothe you with his voice, removing the gun from your embrace.

"Shh... everything is fine," he mumbled, not sure of his words, his other hand touching your shoulder in soft circles. He was able to withdraw the gun from your hands and placed it on the floating shelf near by.

Your eyes squeezed and some tears flowed down your face as you sobbed still in your sleep. Cleon hesitated on what to do next to wake you up. He leaned again, his hand slowly tracing the skin of your arm, like he did when his brother Dawn was a child.

"Woman? Wake up," he whispered, shaking you a little bit and pating your arm softly, and when he talked again, his voice was a little bit louder. "You're having a nightmare, wake up."

And as he repeated his words over and over, your eyes opened wide, feeling your lungs able to breath again. But your senses still were coming to awareness, and automatically you slapped the face of whoever it was touching your arm. You heard him groan in pain and you rolled over the mattres, until you hit the floor, taking out a small blade from below the makeshift pillow of fabrics you used. The blade pointing at him as you looked around the cabin to find out it was only both of you.

"What- are you okay?!" Cleon questioned with a frown, rubbing his hurting cheek as he remained on the other side of your bed, the only thing separating you from him was the mattress.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine!"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Of course you are not."

"Then why the fuck would you ask that?! It's obvious I'm not fine!" you yelled. Your body was tense and ready to attack. You felt a knot on your throat, like if you were to cry again. Silence envolved you, trying to calm down. That inner voice in your head began saying it was just a dream, and you wanted to believe it. It was all in your head. It was not real...

"Do you want to kill me?" Cleon's gloomy voice echoed.

"What? No! I would never-"

"Then why are you sleeping with a damn blaster shot and a blade on your bed?!" he confronted, screaming at you, but not daring to move as you also remained standing in the same place.

"Because I wanted to kill myself!" you yelled back, pointing the sharp of the knife to you instead. His face became stern and you realised what you had said, and what was happening. Ashamed, you threw the blade back under the pillow. "Sorry, I don't want you to know that. Forget it."

You wiped the tears on your face under his piercing and concerning eyes. You forced your head to compose and burry your nightmares and memories deep inside before talking.

"I have to inject you," you said and walked back to the room, sure he would follow behind. Once you crossed the doors, you prepared the needle but Cleon remained standing near the exit of your room the whole time, arms crossed over his chest, observing you with utter worry on his face. Why? He really did not know. Probably because you were the only human and intelligent contact he had for days now, and you had the decency to keep him alive. Though he was not going to let that in his head - yet.

"Why don't you seat?" you most likely ordered. Cleon slowly made his way to you and remained standing, tall and kind of threatening. He was Emperor, after all.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked with a careful tone.

"Nothing, Empire. Just sit," you said, coldly, waiting for him to do as you requested.

"No, I need to know," he demanded, coming closer to you, jaw clenching. Anger started taking over your being and held his gaze as you replied.

"I have the right to decide whether or not speak about my personal life, I am not one of your subjects, so sit the fuck down so I can give you the last dosis of this shit."

"I need to know if I can fucking trust you after what I just heard coming from your mouth," his voice boomed around the place.

"You really want to know?! Fine, back in Korell I lost my family, my brother, my parents, my home - everything I had they took it from me! I was the last one alive and I escaped after they killed my brother in front of me and that day is still haunting me," you muttered and felt the tears forming on your eyes, but this time, of rage. "So if it concerns your own well being, like it always has been, no, I will not kill you. But you are no Emperor here, so stop that game. Some of us never gave a fuck about you or the Empire, or the Foundation and Hari Seldon, or the Church of the Galactic Spirit -I don't care! I'm tired, I just want to be free and live peacefully!"

You had not noticed you stepped closer to him, feeling the heat radiating from his body. His face was blank, as if he had been slapped again, but this time to reality. A reality he was not familiar with on his own bubble.

Quickly you grabbed his bicep and injected the dosis with him standing up. He whined in surprise. It was fast. So fast that you just removed the needle from his flesh and left the room.

III. WHAT YOU REALLY KNOW

According to the Trantor cycle, evening should be now. When you left him alone in the room, Cleon spent the next hours by himself, and since he watched you looking up for garments and food around the ship before, he made sure to get those without speaking to you. Not that you wanted to talk either. He noticed you sitting on the main pilot seat, looking at the stars and the void through the glass the whole day. He got concerned for a moment, but decided to let you be as he, also, understood that some time alone was necessary.

However, Cleon thought to talk to you finally and say something. Anything to get you back to reality and forget your bad dreams. So he found himself making his way to sit on the other chair of the ship. He prepared the words to say inside his head, but it was more difficult to speak out loud.

"I think I owe you an apology," he finally said, taking in the view of space. You nodded slowly your head. Nobody turned to see each other.

"It's nothing. But apology accepted I guess."

"It's not nothing. I rarely thought about what other citizens and planets are going through... I'm so sorry it happened to you."

"I would like to say that was not your fault, but since the Empire withdrawal from Korell, living there definitely became so much worse," you confessed, very aware of the genetic dinasty and some of the things previous emperors did, which did not change much. They were the same man after all. Cloning again and again...

"Probably should apologise for that as well," he said.

"Yeah, it's too late, but thank you."

Cleon could still sense a feeling of resentment in your voice. He thought you were right to feel that way, but he was also going to try and make you understand him.

"I never had a mother, or a father, and my brothers are the same man as me, so it's hard to understand that some people lose their family and loved ones. I was born with that loss already... That's why I wanted to end the genetic dinasty."

"You are the eighteenth?" you asked, not knowing exactly why he was opening to you.

"The seventeenth."

"That's a lot of you though. Do you remember anything from the past?"

"I do not. But our memories are always saved. Everything that happens in Trantor is recorded and kept as data. If I want to know something about a previous Cleon, I would just request it."

You turned your gaze to finally see him, he looked in awe with space as he spoke.

"So what was your motive to destroy a planet?"

He turned his eyes to you. "I believe you didn't care about Empire or the Foundation."

"That doesn't mean I want to see a genocide, your Eminence."

Cleon stirred on his seat, with a strange feeling of guilt, sadness and regret. For some reason, the title falling off your lips made everything worse.

"You saw it," he said. "How? You're no part of the Foundation, at least you're lying to me."

"No, I am not! I did a stupid space jump without course and I ended here, unfortunately." You were growing tired of the conversation. "I don't know why we keep talking. We're both shitty people anyway."

Cleon chuckled, not to mock you, but because of the whole situation you were in together.

"I know you are. Brave enough to kill yourself, taking another life is nothing compared to your own."

You locked your gaze with his, thinking if he was he judging you or flattering you.

"And have you, like, tried to end with your life at some point? You must feel lonely, under the shadow of a clone, not allowing you to be, well, you."

He let out a deep breath, avoiding your eyes.

"I have not, but my genes are already compromised and adultered. No surprise if any of us dared to commit suicide before," he replied, looking to the void. "In any case, if something out of the ordinary is to happen to my brothers or myself, we have another clone with our same memories, same age, everything; prepared to be woken up and take our place. Like if we never existed."

"That's fucked up," you scoffed. "We are never trully free, are we."

You got on your feet to look up for something to eat and forget your small talk. You knew he had searched for fruits and dry food because you heard him moving around and then leaving a couple of times, but you had nothing through the whole day. Cleon followed your steps, leaving enough space between you both as you took a couple of apples, giving one to him.

"The jump, how did you do that?" he asked, taking a bite of the fruit. "You don't have spacers."

"The rebels are smart people. A lot of members of the Foundation replicated your technology."

"I thought you were not involved with them," he insisted.

"I am not, but I would never deny any help. That my support doesn't rely on them doesn't mean I will let a chance slide."

"You're not answering my question."

You pulled the sleeve of your shirt up to show your bare wrist to him. There was the same device Hober Mallow and the Clerics had, inserted on your skin.

"I use this.”

"This is a whisper ship," he mumbled.

"Smart. Yes, sort of."

Cleon scoffed. "So that means we can land somewhere."

"About that, uh, we can't."

He moved to throw the remainings of his fruit with a confused look. "Why?"

He heard your sigh as you covered your wrist again, looking away from his deep eyes.

"I- I threw myself to space because I wanted to kill myself," you started, avoiding his gaze. "I didn't care how long would take me, I just wanted to blow up my ship. Just end everything. But then I saw you, floating, dying... and for some reason I couldn't let you die. I didn't know who you were but I saved you. There's no energy or fuel to make another jump. I don't have that. We are far from what Terminus was now. From any planet, form of life or civilization... plus you are unarmed. You still are weak and anyone could kill you," you finished, and waiting for some reason that he could forgive you for giving him any sort of hope. "I'm sorry, Empire."

Beyond madness, Cleon felt you were worried for him. Not the kind of sentiment his brothers or palace workers would do, but a real one. Because you knew saving him was condemn him to death anyway. But this felt much better than dying alone. He had sins, past despiteful decisions and ghosts hunting him, as so were you. You just addressed your feelings and your life together in less than a day. And you were right, none of you were never trully free, but as crazy as it might be, being lost in space with you felt like freedom to him. Finally, he was far away from everything that was keeping chained to a life and responsibilities he never asked for, living under the shadow of an egotistical emperor.

There was a strong impulse growing inside him and before his rational voice began to scream it was a bad idea to continue, he had cupped your cheeks between his hands and his lips pressing hungrily against yours. You whined, surprised of the warm feeling of his mouth, his tongue hurriedly asking for permission to taste you. When oxygen was not enough you pulled away, shocked and panting. You barely noticed your hand around his forearm, recovering yourself from the best kiss you had in some time.

"Cleon," he whispered, kissing your lips one more time.

"What?"

"Just call me Cleon. I'm not Empire anymore."

You kissed him in response with the same eagerness he had before, heart beating strongly in your chest. His hands caressed every inch of your body, from your neck, breasts, your hips, your soft thighs, your ass... he touched you with desperate fire while you moaned against his mouth, liking where was this leading you, more than you wanted to admit.

That was the first time you gave in to him completely.

IV. TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED

You moaned against his lips, those that forcefuly broke the heated kiss you shared as he ruts into you desperately to reach his own climax. His flesh hitting against yours made an obscene harmony that echoed the confines the ship, far from civil and coherent noises fell from his lips as he sucked into the skin of your neck.

"Fuck, yes, right there," a broken whimper escaped your throat, your nails scratching his back, your walls clenching around his cock. "Cleon..."

The sound of his name being moaned by your sweet, raspy voice, caused him to slow down his thrusts just a bit.

"I still don't know your name," he whispered, bitting your bottom lip only to kiss you wet again.

"And yet you're fucking me, isn't that enough?" you teased, rolling your hips to meet his own.

He gave you a smirk, that fucking handsome smirk you hated so much. He took you with his strong arms, flipping you around so he was now on his back and you got control on top of him. You sinked down his dick setting a reckless rhythm, his thrusts matching yours every time you went down, his grip hard on your waist, marking and bruising your skin. One of his hands massaged your bouncing breasts, one after the other, pinching and then, you felt his mouth biting your nipples and chest, as he leaned your body to him for easy access, with slow grunts and groans that didn't sound human anymore.

His cock repeatedly hit that sweet spot from the position you were taking him, increasing the tension inside you. The sensation of his hands coming back to your sides and making its way to your ass cheeks to guide your bouncing hips became too much so soon. You cried as you felt drunk and high, muscles tense as you finally came. Cleon held you tight, fucking into you as you reached sweet release. His tongue traveled down your collarbone and breasts.

"Cleon," you moaned, your hands on his chest to support your body better. You felt him twitch inside you, knowing he was dangerously close too. Quickly, you slid off him, taking his girth, slick with your own wetness, between your hand you pumped him hard, easing his own release. His seed coated your palm, sprinkling on his abdomen.

"Shit, you're great," he praised, voice dark from lust. His fingers tangled into your hair, his forehead against yours as you recovered from the intense sex session you had for the second time that day. He kissed you sweetly, like a sweetness he only had discovered in the short time with you. "I wish I could know your name."

"You can call me your savior," you gave him a playful smile.

After a shared lazy kiss, you got on your feet, legs still shaking, and left the bed to clean yourself in the small place you called bathroom right next to the only room of the ship. Once finished, you threw the cloth away, and looked directly the mirror, or poor attempt of it. In the damp glass, you watched Cleon appear to embrace your body against his, your back touching his chest muscles and his hands roamed your abdomen while he left butterfly kisses on your shoulder. His big arms around you, pressing your figure to his own, huge in comparison entrusting protection.

The nineteenth day it was, and you spent it exploring your pleassures, talking nonsense and overall for Cleon, thinking he might love you. The confinement had flourished different kinds of feelings and sentiments inside his heart. He finally learned to feel something else besides hatred, power, or selfishness. The more you spoke to him, the more he grew to like you. You were far from perfect and so was he, and the way you opened your heart to him - the man who was to wed a powerful queen, govern thrillions of people around the galaxy and kill a few others - caused him to feel unworthy of anything coming from you. The man he grew up to be slowly disappeared as long as you had him under your light and spirit; his old self was fading away. And it scared him, but excited him at the same time. Even when he was very aware you were near the end together, he had nothing to ask for but to perish with you.

"What's in your head?" you whispered.

Cleon had no longer been tasting the skin of your neck, his chin pressed on your shoulder instead with his mind running a million thoughts by now. He took a glance at the damp and dirty mirror of how perfect you looked, bare and exposed in body and soul, only for his eyes to witness the true beauty of being alive. Of being human.

"You."

A loving smile curled up on your lips, looking directly into his enamoured gaze through the mirror. He decided he wanted to remember you like this in the afterlife.

You finished marking the last spot with an 'x', a wide grin over your face.

"I won."

"Yet again," Cleon chuckled. His laugh had grew sincere with you as he settled on the floor on the cold floor of the pilot cabin, just giving enough space for the board between you and him. "And what is your question, person-I-not-know-the-name-of?"

You just had finished playing another round of a silly game. It was an old Terran game, and you were surprised it made it this far across the galaxy. It was good to pass the time though. It kept you and Cleon thinking about other things besides dying. The fuel and energy, along with the water, were lowering on their levels. Food on the other hand was not a worry, you knew you could request to the traders as long as energy was functioning to make communication with them. However, the energy of your ship had to be loaded in land, just like fuel. And you had no place to go now to do that.

Being together as long as you had the resources was the main goal now. So many things crossed your mind as you talked about everything and nothing at the same time the past days.

"Have you ever been in love?" you asked after some time thinking.

You thought maybe it was the first time in Cleon's life that he was finally able to think and behave on his own, with no burdens about a dinasty to protect or pleasing his council.

He was taken by surprise as you spoke. He immediately remembered Demerzel, his loyal advisor. His relationship was merely sexual, but there were no feelings that would assimilate to what love is in reality. For sure, his own clone should have been woken up by now with no further consequences. For Cleon, it felt like he was actually erased from existence forever. He was disposable, just like his brothers. But thinking about your question, his answer was no. He never knew what love was. Not from Demerzel, certainly not from Dusk, Dawn was slightly different though, he did love Dawn but not the way you were referring to. He never knew the love from a mother or a father, nor family. Sareth hated him, so even if they got to marry he knew there would be no space for such sentiment. His own future children with the Queen of Cloud Dominion would have grown up without an essential part of being human.

"No," Cleon finally gave an answer, his gaze went soft as he realised what you just became to him in a matter of days. "However I sense something different when I am with you. And I don't recall to know what that is."

You smiled. "Isolation tends to create adjustments in those who suffer it."

"And have you?" Cleon asked back. "Have you ever felt it before?"

"I did... With my parents, my brother, my best friends, and a couple of assholes who broke my heart."

He chuckled, admiring the charm you had to brush off the hardships in your life. You smiled back at him. Gods you loved seeing him like this, like if he was happy and nothing had happened.

"And how is it?" he said.

"It's affection, it's addictive, not everyone can escape from it. You feel like you belong somewhere, that your life is strangely complete," you mumbled, locking your gaze with his own. "And it hurts a lot. But as you go through that path, you get to know the most beautiful kind of pain."

"Does it hurt now?"

You swallowed hard, that familiar knot on your throat. You were not expecting to feel this way. Not for the Emperor, not for the clone, not for Cleon. Yet one does not control love. You don't decide to love someone without a reason. And what else could two lost souls do in the middle of the galaxy with no purpose but to wait and die? You had opened your deepest fears and secrets to him, not expecting Cleon doing exactly the same. He trusted you and you trusted him. You slept in the same bed, ate the same food and fruits, fucked like animals everyday and yet there was an emotional connection in between you thought would never know again after so many years. How could you not fall for him when everything was crumbling? Finally, you nodded your head, feeling the tears burning in your eyes.

"I always have been alone, Cleon, but my soul seems to have a little love to give. In the end, love is what makes us human."

Cleon put the board of the game away and leaned closer to you, his hand caressed your cheek, cleaning the tears falling down your face as he pressed his forehead with yours. He kissed you softly, swallowing your pain, as a way to say he was hurting too.

V. VOYAGE

It was the thirtieth day on the ship.

Your last try to get and land in any planet failed. As much as Cleon told you to stop, that everything was fine, you felt you had to keep trying until your last day. But the ship was basically to zero fuel and soon energy will follow. You used the control panel of the ship, hopefuly to find a near by land, but luck was not on your side. There was nothing. You don't know exactly how many miles you traveled with no course for a month. It was getting beyond bearing.

Frustrated, you pulled away the holo of the map and the calculations you did in the air, throwing a lose screw of your seat directly to the glass. It did nothing, but you were starting to hate the view of the stars and nothingness sorrounding.

"I told you to stop that," you listened to Cleon, who seemed just arrived to the pilot cabin.

"I had to try," you stood up, walking towards him. Your arms embraced his waist and he took you in with the same warmth.

"You're worried."

"I am not," you whined. "I should have sent for help with the merchants."

Cleon broke your hug and cupped your face between his hands, leaning closer to you.

"No, we should end this now," he whispered, his brows furrowed.

"No!"

"Why not? You wanted to do it even before you found me."

"Because now ending me is ending you too!"

Cleon felt your pain, but there was no other option to make than to blow up the ship anyway. Even if you were to land somewhere, what was for him? You were not able to go back home, and Cleon was discarded at this point. The throne could not have two of the same in the middle. Hiding and running away sounded like a good choice, but still, where? There was nothing left, but he found comfort with you.

"I am okay with this," he said. "I told you. You have to do it."

"Cleon-" you plea was cut by his voice.

"How much time do we have?"

"I don't know, a couple of days at last."

"Then do it. You said you were to decide when and how you would die, this is the time," he remembered with a stern voice. "Take it."

You let out a shaky breath and pushed him to press your lips to his own, like saying goodbye. But you still would not accept this fate. Not like this. You kissed him with hunger and need, your tongues tangled up as your mouths danced together.

"I just have- I can't yet," you mumbled once the kiss was over, leaving you both seeking for air. "Can we just fuck each others brains again and pretend none of this happened for a moment?" you asked against his lips, your hand now on his cheek, caressing the stubble on his face. You always remembered to help him shave and that was one of the most normal things you had to do since you found yourself confined with him. The most casual and mundane things to do became

He nodded. "Yes, my love.”

Cleon kissed your lips with the same hunger and desire, his hands caressing every inch of you until he lifted you up, your legs quickly went around his waist. With eyes closed, you let him guide you to the bar fixed against the wall of your ship.

He made sure to throw everything that was on the surface to the ground to place you in there. Once you were sitting, he pulled your legs apart to stand in the middle of them, and full with lust, his lips and teeth marked your neck and collarbone. You moaned sweetly, palming his groin still covered with the fabric of his pants. He traveled down your breasts, kissing over your shirt until he took it off. He was lucky you decided not to wear bra anymore. He sucked on your tits and nipples, grinding his hips against your hand.

You tried to pull his pants away, but he finished the job first, pulling away from your chest. After his pants were discarded, his shirt followed. He also got used to no underwear so he stood exposed all for you. A true god he was, looking perfect and like if every inch of his body was created for you to worship completely.

Cleon hurried in getting you out of your clothes, and in minutes you were naked and feeling his tongue dancing on your belly. His fingers and massive hands teasing your thighs, avoiding the place where you needed them the most. You moaned when he finally used a single digit to rub your slit, collecting your wetness. He rubbed your clit, mouth going slow and dangerously close to your pussy.

You laid your back on the bar and Cleon grabbed your thighs to have you exactly at the edge of the surface, ready to eat from your heat.

"Cleon," you cried out his name, your fingers tangled on his hair as his tongue licked your most sensitive parts.

He kept your hips in place, fucking you with his tongue and licking your folds, going to your clit. You couldn't help but whimper and moan, removing his hair to see just how much he yearned your cunt.

You tried to roll your hips but his grip was too strong. He looked up to lock his dark gaze with you, his humming creating strong vibrations down your core. He played some more, using a finger to tease your entrance. You were about to cum just by watching him.

"Cleon, please-" you gasped when he inserted a finger inside you, thrusting slowly. "Please, I want to taste you too."

He stopped, looking your flushed face for a moment. Your eyes were begging to suck him right now. He released your pussy with an obscene sound, pulling his tongue and hand away, but your wetness still shined on him. You got on the ground with his help and started to kneel down, kissing his skin, from his chest and then abdomen, licking and biting to leave your marks on his sculptured muscles. You made sure to adore and suck the skin of his navel, knowing he was insecure with not having a belly button. Still without it, he was more human than he could ever get to accept because you have seen that on him.

Cleon grunted once your hand wrapped around him, his hand on your scalp. You gave him a far from innocent look from your position before licking the head, rolling your tongue around it, lubing it with your saliva. His desperate groans led you to wrap your lips around him, pumping with your hand what you couldn't reach with your throat yet. You had to learn he was big for you, so a little of warm up for your mouth was a good start.

He cursed under his breath, thrusting his hips a little to go further, slowly, and you welcomed his cock with a small gag once he reached the back of your throat. He moaned darkly, your rubbed your thighs together when he started to fuck your mouth. Both his hands taking the sides of your head as you choked and gagged around his lenght. You felt him throbbing but he quickly pulled out, and left you empty and with drool falling from your lips, your pussy now aching and clenching around nothing.

"So beautiful," he purred, the touch on your scalp soft now. "But I want to finish inside you."

You nodded, obedient. Cleon helped you to sit down on the bar again, he stayed between your legs, spreading them wide, you held onto him, arms around his neck. He entered slowly, the warmth of your walls swallowing his cock, inch by inch, until it disappeared completely inside your dripping cunt.

You shivered, broken moans falling from your lips. Cleon muffled your low cries with kisses, waiting for you to get used to him.

"Fuck me, Cleon," you mumbled against his swollen lips.

He complied happily, thrusting and pounding into your heat, with a frenetic and brutal pace you had learn to love. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, yor nails scratching his arms and back. His cock touched all the right places inside you and he whispered sweet nothings into your skin, fucking you right under the light of the stars and the void of space.

He moaned along with you, wishing heaven or whatever it was after felt exactly like this. Like you, with your arms around him, your sweet voice calling his name lovingly and whimpering for more, giving your soul to him and only him. Your walls started to clench and his hips stuttered, aproaching a craving release. But in between, he heard a word against his ear you never mumbled before, turning his lustful eyes to you and slowing down his thrusts.

You repeated it again, he was visibly confused but kept ruting into you.

"My name," you said, fingers now caressing his hair.

He smiled. He knew it now. The stranger who saved him had a name after all. Cleon kissed you fiercely, repeating your name again and again between wet kisses. You were close to release, feeling one of his digits rubbing your clit as you moaned together. The wave of electricity took your body first, clenching your pussy around his cock. Cleon followed soon after, rhythm slow and tense muscles, until he spilled inside you, coating your sensitive cunt with his seed.

Catching your breath, you remained together. He sucked on your neck softly, your name was the only thought inside his mind. And as much as you loved his touch on you, you remembered there was something to do still.

"Cleon," you called, getting his attention and feeling he was pulling out of you with a low groan. He looked at you with loving eyes and you smiled. You brushed his hair with your fingers pulling him to yet another smooth kiss. "It's time."

He knew it was. In silence his fingers found his earring, twitsting it and pulling it apart. He took it from his ear and placed it on yours carefully. You were always amazed at his touch, how rough and yet soft and gentle he could be.

"So you can remember me," he smiled when he was over. You let out a laugh and curved your llps in a grin. "It suits you."

"Thanks, Cleon."

Cleon leaned down to kiss you one more time before cleaning both of you. You dressed together as if you were not about to meet finally death. For some reason, you saved everything that was not on their cabinets or initial positions, packing all you could, like if you could take those belongings with you, most of which were from your family. One day Cleon asked why you had clothes that could meet his height, being taller than a lot of people around. You told him it was from your best friend. You thought every piece of clothes or souvenirs would help someday, but it never crossed your mind that it was going to be this way.

When everything was was done, you and Cleon settled in front of the control panel, however, before you could start the holo, a loud explosion could be heard. You frowned, turning to Cleon.

"Did you-? Ah!"

The ship almost overturned as something heavy hit the side, making you trip and fall over with Cleon on the ground. Again, an explosion was heard, far from the ship but clear enough to say it was getting closer, and seconds later, the ship got hit but this time on the glass, almost breaking it over. Quickly, you both stood up and saw what was happening.

"A black hole..."

"Look, there are debris around," you pointed a huge piece that looked the size of your ship, but that definitely was part of a much bigger one. You saw the debris and metal being swallowed and destroyed by the black hole. It wasn't pacing fast, but wasn't slow either. It looked like it was talking its time for much bigger things to eat, such as your ship. Cleon called you, taking your hands and pressing his forehead to yours. You could feel he was shaking, and your skin grew cold. You realised it was really happening now.

"Do it," he said. "Destroy the ship."

After a moment of hesitation, you gave a nod. He kissed you deeply again. You turned the holo to activate the ship and program its own destruction.

"Self-destruction mechanism activated," the computer confirmed.

"We have sixty seconds," you mumbled, tears already forming in your eyes. He cut you off with a kiss. You would miss those warm lips on yours.

"That's enough for me," he said. You smiled and he did the same.

"I love you, Cleon," you embraced his body with a hug. "I am happy I met this kind of pain with you."

He cupped your cheeks, pecking your lips, smiling down at you, saying I love you too. You, the one who saved him and gave him a second chance. Or at least a moment of relief. A place and a person who allowed him to be himself and find things he never knew would have.

"We have more in common now," he whispered. "We are both alone and hurting somewhere in the galaxy.”

[thefrogdalorian]

The Best of Both Worlds

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

Summary: When a new Star Wars TV show called The Mandalorian premiered, you found yourself completely enamoured with the titular character. Enjoyment of watching the lone bounty hunter travel through the galaxy quickly turned to obsession. There was just something about the show that captured your imagination. Now, you spend much of your free time — when you're not working a fast-paced, minimum wage and incredibly stressful job at a prestigious London Museum— speaking to your online friends about your love for the show. There's just one thing... Despite how much you love The Mandalorian, no one knows the identity of the man behind the helmet... either in the show, or in real life. You only know him as Mando. No one has ever seen his face, no one knows his name.  Even after the countless hours of speculation from fans online, which even you have occasionally participated in, no one is any the wiser to the identity of the mysterious man who wears the shiny armour.  Surely, given the depth of your love for the show, you'd recognise if the man who you spend so much time obsessing over online was to ever cross paths with you. Right?

Content Warnings: Reader is AFAB, uses she/her pronouns and in her mid 20s. Age gap between her and Din is noted but not really central to the story. Grogu is human, hints of past trauma/child abuse before Din adopted him are mentioned but not described in detail. Some mature scenes later on in the fic but not explicit smut... because I just cannot write x reader smut! Author's Note: SO very excited to finally share this fic! Thank you to the lovely @suresnips for being my beta. I really appreciate you ♡ This baby was originally my NaNoWriMo 2023 project and was inspired by this post from @toxic-seduction that I saw one evening and couldn't stop thinking about! POVs will alternate chapter to chapter from Din to reader. It was fun to write that way! Set in London for a few reasons: partly because I love the movie Notting Hill and it has some of those vibes (if you squint), also, the village where Din lives is based on Elstree Studios just outside London, where the OT was filmed and ultimately because NO WAY was I writing a modern!AU set in the states, it would've been painfully obvious a Brit wrote it. While there are lots of references to places in London, I don't live there so it might not be truly accurate (Londoners don't come for me). Also, to be political for a sec, reader works at the British Museum and I hate that institution. This was actually the line of work I was interested in when I was at Uni but for many different reasons I did not pursue it. However, it works for the plot of this story and as you'll see, she doesn't exactly love it either and goes on a few rants. Just wanted to make that clear that her job there is not an endorsement of it or anything. I can't stand them or their historical apologist bs and I wish we would give back all the things we stole (including the Parthenon Marbles)! Finally, it was incredibly important to me that the actor behind Mando in this fic clearly be the fictional character of Din Djarin rather than the real person Pedro Pascal, because rpf is not my jam! I hope I did that pretty well but just wanted to warn that if you're expecting me to use Din as some kind of way to write a Pedro fic, this won't be for you! Okay, I'll shut up now! This fic is fully written, just needs editing so hopefully I'll get a couple of chapters up each week, but life happens. I'm very proud of this one and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also if you would like to be added to my taglist for this fic, please let me know! Happy reading ♡

❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Why Does It Always Rain On Me? [Reader POV]: After a dreadful day which saw you drenched by a rainstorm after leaving a hectic day at work, you reflect on your love for Mando and upcoming excitement for the sci-fi convention you will soon be attending with your internet best friend.

He Is My Only Priority [Din's Pov]: The character of The Mandalorian is known and loved by millions. But there is another, much softer side to the man who portrays him that Din Djarin is determined to keep hidden from the world, despite the challenges that presents for him and his beloved son, Grogu.

This Is Why (I Don't Leave The House) [Reader's POV]: Your internet bestie arrives in preparation for the Star Wars convention you will attend together. Everything is set for the greatest weekend of your life! Until you arrive at the con and find yourself overwhelmed by all the crowds and noise. At least you have numerous incredibly realistic Mando cosplays to distract you from how stressed you feel, and there's one in particular which is uncannily accurate...

Curiosity Killed The Cat [Din's POV]: Despite his reservations and against his better instincts, Din heads to a Star Wars convention that he was invited to. Although he fears that his cover will be blown, curiosity gets the best of Din and he can't resist attending a panel. But Din doesn't exactly find the answers he was looking for. Instead, he finds something far more precious. Something that he would never have expected...

He's So Tall (And Handsome As Hell) [Reader's POV]: Being back in the real world and returning to work after an incredible weekend at the convention where you had so many fun experiences is taking its toll on you. The thought of collapsing on your couch in front of The Mandalorian is the only thing keeping you going. However, the universe has other plans for you. News of an out-of-hours tour for a private client that you are asked to lead almost sends you over the edge, but when you finally meet the man, he is the opposite of what you were expecting. Weirdly, he seems familiar...

With A Little Help From My Friends [Din's POV]: Din returns to the set of The Mandalorian to begin filming a new season. Despite his experience and capability, he finds that he struggles to focus as his thoughts remain firmly fixed on a certain someone...

You're The Sunflower [Reader's POV]: Despite feeling certain that you'll never see the ridiculously handsome man you gave a tour of the museum to, a special delivery is about to change everything...

Your Face Hung Up High In The Gallery [Din's POV]: After a difficult few days of filming The Mandalorian, Din is excited to spend time with you as he finally takes you on your first proper date...

Have I Known You Twenty Seconds or Twenty Years? - (Reader's POV):  Despite a messy evening which led to you waking up in an opulent hotel which you have no memory of falling asleep in, memories of kind brown eyes and breathless kisses soon come flooding back to soothe your soul. Your relationship deepens as the two of you spending time together whenever your busy schedules allow. But one night, a turn of events causes you - despite Din's reassurances - to wonder if everything you have been working so hard to build together has just come crashing down around you...

There's A War Inside Of Me - [Din's POV]: The realities of the secret he is keeping from you begin to weigh heavily on Din's mind and he seeks advice from a certain curly haired co-star on what his next move should be. Things don't go exactly according to plan, not least because of the typically awful English weather...

It Could Be Love, We Could Be The Way Forward - [Reader's POV]: With your respective busy jobs keeping you and Din apart, a mystery date after a hectic day at work is exactly what you needed.

The Calm - [Din's POV]: When filming overruns and conspires to keep Din from the fun weekend he planned for you, he agonises over his decision. Fortunately, he manages to salvage the weekend, even after a calamity involving a rowboat...

The Storm - [Reader's POV]: The happiness you feel in response to a question Din posed to you is somewhat clouded by lingering doubts. Yet your affection for each other helps you to push those emotions down, until a weekend spent at his cottage changes everything...

P.S. - I tried to be inclusive for all body types and skin tones in this fic, but if I missed something, I do apologise. If you do spot something that takes you out of the fic, I am more than happy for constructive criticism as I wouldn't want anyone to be excluded on those grounds. I am always trying to do better and would love to know where I went wrong so I can improve and be more aware of these things going forward, so I would appreciate it if you could let me know if you do spot anything. Thank you so much! ♡

[aurae-rori]

children of the city ; a dr. ratio analysis

Dedicated to all the people in my inbox going, "WHAT IS A CHILDREN OF THE CITY AND WHY IS IT DR. RATIOCORE?!" I will now be pointing all of you to this post, because it's easier to access and find.

If you are finding this out in the wild, greetings. I am Aurae, one of the many Dr. Ratio Analyzers (shoutout to my other homies who are doing the work of the aeons and clearing the misinfo and slander to my boy's name). I am here to tell you why the song "Children of the City" by Mili is Dr. Ratiocore.

It's time to deconstruct my boy like the puppets that you see on tv, who find comfort in the strings. (if you know, you know.)

"Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day And then drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play Only eat, or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands"

I'm totally not projecting my gifted child trauma here, nuh uh... Anyway, my personal HC for Ratio is that his child might have felt monotonous being in classes that he was already too "intelligent" for. Learning things at a quicker pace than other children, absorbing knowledge up like a sponge - sure, the praise is nice, but after awhile, especially when you get to higher levels, intelligence isn't enough to carry you. You have to put diligence, effort, blood sweat and tears into what you're studying for, especially if you want to make a change, like how Dr. Ratio wanted to. It. must have gotten lonely, getting up only to do more researcher, eating only to go back to work. Following a schedule is wonderful, and he would have enjoyed the routine, but after being isolated from other people along with that, it might have made him feel subhuman or less than human for only being there for the studying of more knowledge. Eat, study, work, repeat. This is more of a personal HC rather than something canon, though. :)

"By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride Bonus if brunette In 90 hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque"

I feel like the prospect of romance is pushed onto children at a very young age - and that can be applied to Dr. Ratio. Who knows what romantic beliefs that he grew with? However, I believe this is less of him observing himself, but more of him seeing what the education system does to others, and how society molds others into the person that they "should" be, rather than what they want to be. Also, it could be a reference to academic trauma and placing all your self worth in your grades.

"Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves Picking out my pre-written persona (ha-ah-ah) Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in the city's night"

This is how I see Dr. Ratio holding a grudge against the Aeons and other figures of authority. We are all expected to be "good" and "well-behaved", and yet, we all look to the "city's night" - the approval of those who are in a higher position of us. We want to gain the approval and the praise of our parents, of our teachers - it's natural, after. We want to be included in the "city's night" - in Dr. Ratio's case, the gaze of Nous. He wants to be acknowledged by Nous and let into the Genius Society because his beliefs that were instilled into him as a child dictate that since he is hailed as a genius, he should be seen as one by the Aeons, right? However, I'd like to point out the usage of the words "neon stars" - stars are not neon. This implies that the stars are fake - I can also see this as a pointer to the idea of there system itself being fake, or societal "norms" being fake, as we are all unique.

"In four hundred thousand meters, turn right

Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy"

Dr. Ratio following orders until he doesn't. Fitting in until he gives up on it. Setting himself free from the chains of what is expected from him of other people, but not by the Aeons - no, that's something that still stays with him. However, I like to interpret the idea of a "familiar warm body" being his own childhood - killing the child that you used to be in favour of facing the future. Coffee is also something commonly regarded as students or workers using it to keep awake during long periods of work and study - it talks about how he has known to fight for himself, or fight for what he wants, before he was told to suck it up and just work for the sake of others, for the sake of the authority. However, this might feel scripted to him as well, with the mention of a "proxy" - it was a decision someone else made for him, maybe? Who knows? Maybe his selflessness was originally chosen by someone else, and drilled into him?

"As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand We had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable being Who I considered worthless"

This is definitely expanding on the idea of being raised to just be used by the authorities. Also, this can also be a representation of the way that he calls himself "mundane" - he was called a genius and raised as one, and now that Nous has not seen him, he must be "mundane" and he must come to terms that he is exactly what he wasn't called growing up. None of their words of praise have any meaning any more, because in the all seeing gaze of an Aeon, he is nothing.

"Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (the reason why) The sufferings never end"

As Dr. Ratio uncovers the truth of his childhood and the truth of why he was raised this way, the empathy that he has suppressed comes back up. And this is it - because he feels for others, because he is so incredibly human, that is the reason why his suffering does not end. He cannot detach himself like other people, like other geniuses, and treat life with little to no care. He cannot, because he loves, and that is his fatal flaw. He listens to his heart, as well as his mind, and that does not make him a genius in the eyes of an Aeon.

"Do not go home until you finish reading the value of E. 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762"

"E" is a mathematical constant, and therefore is logical. It's called the base of a natural logarithm, and while my knowledge in that area is limited, the fact that it is called a "constant" means that it cannot change, just like all numbers cannot. It might be a representation of the idea of Dr. Ratio trying again to fit in with others, only to fail once more, even though he knows all the rules. He was simply born in a different way, doomed from the start. It wasn't his fault.

He was just human.

You can also see this as Dr. Ratio observing the world as he grows up in an "apathetic" and "detached" way - as he pushes down his own emotions in favour of staring at his own success to help others, knowing that his empathy will not get him anywhere in terms of a cruel world. However, he cannot help it.

Ultimately, "Children of the City" is about how we are raised in a society that forces the idea of work on us ever since we are young. We do not get to cherish our childhoods nor our youth, and are immediately turned to the prospect of how we can provide value to society. We are raised in a never ending cycle like machines, to be puppets to corporations, to be slaves by the desire of the majority, to never have free will of our own.

[oddberryshortcake]

Would you say Silver has the fairy gifts Aurora was given in Sleeping Beauty?

YES

Quite literally virtually the same gifts in more ways than one, with the first gift of beauty being more obvious and the second gift of song being a bit more subtle, and third gift being kinda identical to Aurora's situation.

As of right now we don't know if Silver is particularly good at singing, we've never heard him sing in game and it's never stated anywhere that he's good at it BUT the lyrics and scene from Sleeping Beauty 1958 would imply that it's more of a sort of melodious vibe one carries with them, which matches him perfectly

The gift of beauty is self-explanatory, I'm including the visuals because the birds shown here are also shown in Silver's signature spell.

Silver (and his biological father Dawn Knight) were given golden hair from day fairies blessing them. This is a trait that Aurora was blessed with too, specifically 'gold of sunshine' which Lilia describes Silver as having when he was a baby.

Silver is also referenced multiple times in canon as handsome and/or beautiful, Dawn Knight is also referred to as handsome and receiving 'the gift of beauty,' Silver was obviously gifted this as well.

Now here's where things get a little subjective,

I'd argue that this is how his friendship with animals came about, the 'sweet serenade' he's given could very well be the animals that come to help him in his time of need (that and Aurora is pictured conversing or at least befriending a bird in the visual)

His friendship with animals is so noticeable that other characters notice it and find it strange (sometimes endearing) animals are willing to gift him things he wants/needs (like in Silver's lab vignette) or literally defend him from danger (Book 7 Chapter 73 Westward Breakthrough - Part 1)

Silver also describes his childhood as him living alone deep in the woods with his father (in virtually the same cottage of fairy cottage), and that he was never lonely because he had many animal friends to keep him company (which mirrors the live Aurora lived until she was 16)

Merryweather's gift to break Maleficent's curse is pretty much the final 'blessing' that Silver had been given (that I think transformed into something more of a curse unless the story proves otherwise)

Dawn's three fairies gifted Silver all of these things, and their final gift for him was to protect him in magic sleep so that he wouldn't die in the conflict that killed his bio parents and instead wake up in a world without war.

It was a spell meant to save his life just as Aurora's did and true love is meant to break it just like Aurora's so I'd say it counts, except he spent more time in spelled sleep than she did in both the 1958 movie and the original Sleeping Beauty fairytale 😭

So to sum it up, Silver basically received all of Aurora's gifts with their own little spin on it. Anyways, highly recommend watching Sleeping Beauty for yourself, I've loved this movie long before twst even existed so seeing such a genuine homage to the story of Sleeping Beauty and Aurora as a character makes me so happy.

[onlymurdersintheafterparty]

OMITB S4:E8 "Lifeboat"

This episode was really interesting. More questions answered and even more created now that we know what went on with the Westies. Given all the theories out there the ending wasn't too surprising but I do wonder how all of this will be explained in the final episode. At this point I don't have many theories left I'm just waiting on the denouement. All in all I enjoyed it. Spoilers ahead!

I can't believe Dudenoff's death was that simple. I'm not even going to lie I just found the whole thing so sad. He was lonely and grieving his wife and then created a found family that he loved so much he wanted to protect them even in death. Poor Helga who was so scared and convinced that someone did something to him. What I don't understand though is why they called her the wrong kind of Westie and scratched her face out in the picture. They acted like she was a villain or something when all she was trying to do was figure out what happened to Dudenoff. There was a theory on the subreddit that Helga was the one giving Sazz information and now it's confirmed so this is a new turn of events. I'm with Mabel on not ratting them out but with Dudenoff confirmed to be dead how are they going to continue this rent scheme? The police know so the jig is up. Or is this reveal just so that the trio would sympathize with them and not rat them out to the police?

Glen being the stuntman that Sazz was referring to still feels like a red herring to me. We know that he is mentally unwell because of the hallucinated rats but I still don't think he's our killer. I'm thinking Glen is part of the group that killed Sazz and the mastermind shot him to keep him from confessing or it's as simple as the common theory that Marshall is the killer and shot him because he recognized him outside of his disguise. With Glen being in a coma we probably won't learn either outcome until the season finale or the very end of the next episode. Sazz said that this stuntman messed up badly and would be the death of her. She's dead and he's in a coma so she was right but the fact that he was shot means that some sort of cover up is in place for whatever it is that he did and whoever else knows it.

The Westies showing up and waving a knife and everyone just going along with it is so wild to me. It was 6 against 5 and I know Rudy is fit but surely they could have still held their own. It makes sense they didn't react though because they needed the confession. Rudy doing the entire monologue and everyone progressively getting emotionally drained was so funny. Zach has had the funniest quotes this season and I hope someone does a video edit including them all.

Charles really needs therapy when the case is solved because the way he's unraveling and doesn't even know how to process his anger is so sad to watch. Eugene better be careful what he wishes for because when Charles fully snaps and lets all his anger out it's not going to be pretty. I wouldn't be surprised if upon learning who killed Sazz he attacks them (not fatally) and has a full breakdown.

Every week I see the same theory that Loretta will die and I'm starting to get scared this may actually happen. I get them being sentimental about The Arconia but it's full of so much death I can't believe that they would plan their wedding there. Oliver has lost so much and Charles just lost his best friend so do you think the writers will really go there? Maybe it will be a bridesmaid or someone else in the bridal or groom party who is killed. I just feel like instead of killing her off they can just write out her character by saying that she and Oliver travel back and forth to see each other and that explains why she's not onscreen. They've been making it work now so no need to take such a dark route.

I'm so excited for the last two episodes and to see how this all plays out. The Westies never confirmed that it was them sending the letters or bugging the apartments so the mastermind is still out there waiting. This also means that there must be another murder that has gone unnoticed. On a recent youtube video, Matt & Jess TV mentioned Charles' quote in the pilot about the bodies buried in the back of a 14 story building as well as Marv mentioning the Sixth Street Slasher so it looks like there's still a cold case to solve.

And to wrap this all up I just have one question: WHERE IS THEO?

[another-lost-mc]

karasu is on the borrowing clothes side of the spectrum ?! omg that is so cute i'm actually gna cry is it bcs of his crow tendencies? does it have anything to do with nesting or something similar? <33

scent marking + nesting

featuring: azra, karasu, zekhan (others very briefly mentioned)

cw: nsfw/mdni content is below the read more. includes scenting as a possessive/mating behaviour; sharing/borrowing clothes and sharing a bed; references to non-explicit sexual activity (masturbation, cum marking/eating; tw: slightly dubious behaviour and blood mentioned briefly mentioned).

a/n: the nsfw behaviours described are slightly darker and more indulgent. they may appear in headcanons or one-shot fics for them but won't be present/prominent in their "official" canon stories.

Being a crow is definitely part of it! It drives a lot of Karasu's impulses to give MC things and he's honoured if MC gives him things too. His nest used to be bland, cold and almost sterile, but over time it slowly fills with more colourful items and luxurious fabrics and comfortable furniture.

In terms of general world building, scent is important for all the other demons too (or that's how I like to write them).

Karasu and Zee are more attuned to scenting behaviour because they’re “born” demons with animalistic demon forms. (Demons like Diavolo, Barbatos and Mephisto would fall into this category as well.)

Azra and the demon brothers use scenting behaviors too, but for fallen angels the instinct and urges are usually less intense. (Satan is an exception due to his unique circumstances, his are quite strong compared to his brothers.)

There’s a bit of nuance to show the subtle differences between them when it comes to borrowing/sharing clothes with MC as a way of sharing their scents:

Azra and Zee want you to smell like them. They lend you their clothes or scent you somehow whenever they see you. They also want their clothes and bed/linens to smell like you.

Karasu technically borrows your clothes but he also doesn't want to inconvenience you. He buys you some oversized shirts or sweaters or pajamas to wear at the nest. When you’re not there, he wears them himself until the smell fades away.

Nesting is a factor too. All three are very protective of their homes and they don't like visitors. Karasu has the strongest nesting urges. He fills his nest with things you like and the gifts you give him. He buys things for your room at the House of Lamentation and leaves his feathers there. Azra and Zee are both motivated to make their homes comfortable and safe for you to stay (because in a perfect world you'd never want to leave).

Speaking of scenting and marking...(nsfw portion below)

All three of them want to mark you with their cum—inside if you'll let them, but your skin and clothes are perfectly fine alternatives.

Your scent also helps them get off if they're a bit desperate or lonely without you.

Azra is the most "tame" of the three. He's content to lay on your side of the bed and breathe deep while he jerks himself off.

Karasu is a bit more needy. He'll put your clothing on his pillow and bury his face in it while he ruts against his mattress. He'll hold something up to his nose (or just drape it over his face) if he's on his side or back.

Zee is similar to Karasu, but he has a higher predatory instinct. Sometimes he has the extra impulse to lick or suck on fabric that might be freshly stained with your slick or cum or blood.

(They might do these things privately in early stages of your relationship, but they'll stop if you don't want them to continue doing so once you're in a relationship. They'd rather fuck you than jerk off alone anyway.)

read more: oc masterlist

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- 3x9-Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving- Part 1

It's 6:30am on the 4th of July. It feels like as a good a time as any to write about a Thanksgiving episode. I am quite fond of this episode, it's one of my favorites. It includes a historical first: which is Lorelai being kinda nice to Jess? Hooray! It's a Thanksgiving miracle! But off to the house fire with him again for Black Friday. I cannot, however, even in the spirit of Julyskiving, be nice to Lorelai when describing this episode. This is, after all, the "Just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did" episode. Would you mind taking a Niceness Raincheck, Lorelai? I doubt it will be useful in s3. For the time being, just accept all of the comedic verbal beatdowns that you have coming from me. On with Julyskiving.

Jess can sympathize with Pete. But he's beating his meat instead of eggs. This one is a bit borderline, but it qualifies for a check on the "thinly veiled sexual reference" square on my Bingo Card. I cannot take my eyes off this mug Michel is holding and "sipping" from because it's the emptiest Empty Mug I've seen so far on this show. I've seen some empty cups on this show but dang, this one is empty.

Me looking for love in all the wrong places.

Heh heh. We learn that Lorelai has faked illness and poor cellphone reception (that's not terribly hard in 2002, the year of our lord) to try and weasel out of the last two FND's. Why, you ask? Because she's still hopping mad at Emily and Richard for...taking Rory on a trip to look at a school that wasn't Harvard. Emily Gilmore, the Queen that she is, lays down that in no uncertain terms that Lorelai will have to spend Thanksgiving doing FND. Emily won’t allow Lorelai get in a word in edgewise, complain, or protest 🫡 so Lorelai lays down like a dog and submits. I love to see it.

*checks off "Millennial Pop Culture Reference" on the Bingo Card* Have I mentioned how much I love the 35 year old extras playing high school students?

Not anymore he ain't. Just ride it out for another 3 short years. girl. Reese will be history by 2006. He never married again, either. "Is it me, or did everything the teacher say sound dirty? I mean come on, reticulum? The golgi body? Does that sound majorly pornographic or what?" Heh heh. Yeah. I'm scandalized by the use of the word "pornographic" on this wholesome show. We learn that Louise's father is in prison for an unspecified crime. I love Madelyn & Louise lore, don't you? Paris wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen to pad her Ivy League resume but no one would take her. She will be ever so lonely on Thanksgiving and needs a place to spend the holiday. *bats eyelashes at Rory* Madelyn plans to spend Thanksgiving filling out applications for safety schools. Paris agres that is incredbly important to weigh as many options as possible when applying to colleges. Rory, meanwhile , remembers that just a short while ago, her Mommy had a nuclear meltdown in public and shut her grandparents out for weeks over the mere idea of her even looking at or thinking about a backup school. Much like the time she realized she forgot to enroll in extra cirricular activities, this is someone who is quietly contemplating just how badly she's boned. Academically speaking.

Paris receives a return call on her ancient cellphone from a soup kitchen, with whom she tries to wrangle a volunteer opportunity. This is how Rory looks at Paris angrily ranting at a charitable organization:

Paris may not be able to pad her college application by helping the needy this year, but she will always be a volunteer in the soup kitchen of Rory's heart.

OMG. Could it be? Is that...the window concession stand from s1?

IT IS! IT IS! I love that little guy! I thought the fragile small town economy had swallowed up another beloved business! You ladies are just gonna walk past and not pick me up a fiesta burger and onion rings, huh? Besides snubbing a small business that has to compete with Luke's and could really use the help, ahem, Rory and Lorelai's Thanksgiving itinerary includes dinner at the elder gilmores, Sookie's, Lane's, and Luke's. They then decide to cut Luke from their schedule, because ol Grumpy Gus doesn't care about holidays and he won't miss them.

And so what if he did? Peace and harmony will be achieved when the people of The Hollow are free and able to be their true and authentic sexual selves.

None of which they'll pay for.

"Such a food rut we're in!" Concession Stand Guy would like a word.

Ya'll are just filthy. You're making jokes about stuffing each other a day before this wholesome holiday. Continue. Please. Lorelai informs Luke that they can't make it for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He seems quietly shattered. *Mr Lonely plays*

Perhaps you can un-disappoint him by paying for your food. So moved were the Gilmore GIrls by Luke's rare, almost visible display of emotion, that they decide they can work him into their schedule after all.

Batten down the hatches, guy. The Gilmores are coming. To your restaurant. Just like they do every day. Multiple times a day. Sometimes after you've already closed. Always eating, never paying.

Rory emptied two beach pails of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in one sitting after Dean dumped her. She ain't wrong. Stay tuned for the next chapter where I will explore the re-appearance of the vomit green puffy coat, Rory's continued pre occupation with Dean, Lorelai's continued pre occupation with Dean (the re emergence of the DALA), comedic thoughts about Black Friday, and much more.

[theanxiousghostartist]

TMAGP 29 Spoilers (Theories and Reactions)

Ok, ok ok ok.. Holy shit I cannot wait for the finale!!

Celia and Sam:

Honestly, I'm glad Celia found Sam. While it would have been interesting to see one of the others find him, I like that Celia did, because we got more insight into her!

1) We know she cares about Sam. While we knew this from other episodes and their relationship, we can confirm that Celia deeply cares for Sam and isn't just manipulating him. The statements that Celia cares for Sam and Celia is manipulating Sam can co-exist.

2) Imo - Celia is the one most likely to survive. She knew the right questions to ask Sam to get to the important details about that Archivist (I'm going to try to call them, "that Archivist" so they won't be confused with TMA!Jarchivist), and why they attacked Sam. She also was reluctant to go to the Hilltop Centre, knowing that that Archivist was planning on heading there from Sam. Furthermore, she was planning on stopping Sam until he basically begged her to go.

3) Celia cares for Alice. While this episode had Sam/Celia interactions and no Alice/Celia interactions, we still saw Celia caring for Alice. Sam didn't want to tell Alice anything about his encounter with that Archivist. Celia was the one to force him to, and even then, Sam still blew her off when the train left the station. Celia understands that Alice cares for Sam and is very protective of him, and she understood that if Sam didn't tell her about that Archivist, it would devastate her, thus she made Sam call Alice.

So that Archivist is after The Magnus Institute and Hilltop Road. Interesting. While I initially thought they were feeding, I don't think that was the case. They wanted as much information as possible on the Institute and Hilltop Road, therefore, they went to the person that let them out. They were after Alice before, and on their way to find her, they found Sam instead. That's why Alice felt like she was being followed before, that Archivist was looking to get information out of the people who let them out. They initially followed Alice and found Sam instead; and they took advantage of that. Now they are on the way to the Hilltop Centre, perhaps they followed Sam there...

Gwen and Lena:

Ok, so Lena is proud of Gwen and Gwen dropped the act of being kinder to her, showing her true emotions. Interesting. I guess because Gwen gave her (and Augustus's/Jonah's (my theory lol)) information to Trevor, she assumes she will get the job anyhow. It makes sense for her characterization so far. I'm starting to wonder if Gwen is going to take a more Jonah-Magnus-approach to the job, if she gets it, and Lena is the one with the Gertrude-Robinson-approach.

Case: This case was very much a Buried case, with Viola even saying that she was afraid of drowning alone. It's interesting that she specified "alone" since Stan was with her. It reminds me of "Alone" in TMA Season 1, the statement of one of the Lukus's fiancée. So perhaps Lonely undertones as well? Maybe the Stranger or Spiral too, with the door/lock themes and the overall theme of unlocking yourself? Still, it's definitely related to the Buried.

Viola and Stanely Locke, I wonder if this is a reference to John Locke of the Enlightenment.

From my memory, I took a lot of history classes: John Locke was a philosopher during the Enlightenment, advocating for so-called "natural rights" - life, liberty, and property - as well as theorizing on the "natural state" of humans, basically, what would we do if we did not have a government. He believed that humans have a "natural state" of kindness and helping each other, and that we exchange some of our rights for a government to organize and protect us, and because of this, if a government became tyrannical, we could take back our rights and rebuild the government. His ideas influenced a lot of people, including those involved in the American, French, and Haitian Revolutions.

There might be a connection there but IDK. I'm in a similar situation with them and their last name to what I have been with Ink5oul and their last name of Wilde (possibly a reference to Oscar Wilde).

This case was so interesting, and I was devastated for Stan.

That old scruffy person who opened the door for the Locke's had to be an avatar. Maybe the case is more Spiral related as they opened the door into an illusion/another realm? Then again, the Buried's coffin worked in the same way...

Maybe they were this universe's Breekan or Hope? Possibly a Lukus? I wonder if they will show up again...

Teddy and Alice:

Teddy has insomnia. I wonder if it is from staying away from the OIAR? (sorta like how Tim got sick when he stayed away from the Archives for so long)

I like Teddy's and Alice's interactions, I hope the two can talk after whatever will happen in the finale!

Teddy needs to talk to Alice about something in regards to his job, something "serious." I wonder if he's been having problems since he left the OIAR? Maybe in a similar way to Sam pre-OIAR? Oooh, or maybe he's Becoming? Maybe he had a run in with an External during his new job and has started Becoming? Or maybe he had started Becoming when he got the OIAR job and Lena, and/or her higher-ups were able to prevent it? Maybe the food helps the OIAR crew build up a resistance to the Fears? Lena has been very insistent on the crew eating the OIAR food, so maybe she did something to it (maybe with alchemy) to help the crew resist the Fears, like how Sam was able to resist that Archivist in the beginning and survived them messing through his memories?

"It's on the train:"

Yay! Go Alice! Protect your friends/potential love interests! (please talk to Teddy afterwords though!)

I like how Alice keeps fighting to save Sam and Celia here.

Wait, so only Alice can see that Archivist? Oh, maybe because they are an avatar and the OIAR crew is being marked/already marked/aligned with the Fears so they can see it? Either way, this is definitely an interesting detail!

Predictions for the Finale:

Ok, predictions time! So, I think Celia is going to die or be at least severely injured. You may be thinking, "But didn't you say earlier that Celia is the most likely to survive, in your opinion?" Yes. Yes, I did. However, I think that she would be the most likely to survive, IF Sam did not involve her in this mission. Now, that is not to say this is Sam's fault at all! (although, if she were to die/get injured, he will probably blame himself) I think that Sam and Celia are going to get chased by that Archivist, and Celia will die so Sam (and possibly Alice) can get away. Before she does, she is going to expose her being from the TMA-verse by asking that Archivist about the stuff she saw. This would leave Georgie and Sam having to take care of Jack for one, and for two, it would leave a good cliffhanger to explore both worlds and possibly figure out more about FR3-D1 and that Archivist.

Someone is going to Become, or at least, start Becoming. I'm not sure who though, my best bet is Alice, probably for the Spiral or Dark. I'm still not quite sure for this one, so I don't have much else to say.

Lena is going to play a key role in the survival of the OIAR crew. Going based off the theory that she is taking a Gertrude role; she is going to be the key to surviving. My theory is that Lena is going to go hunt down that Archivist when she finds out that it was near the OIAR, they are not an external, therefore, her superiors don't know about them, and she has free reign. She is going to find Sam and Celia (and probably Alice), with that Archivist, and either witness Celia die or Sam holding Celia injured or dead. She will be the one to beat/kill that Archivist, probably take the crew to the OIAR or to a "Fear resistant room" and start explaining general things to them (basic, things, not even as much as Gerry told Jon). We will end off with them coming in battered and traumatized and learning why. If this happens, one of two things could happen in S2: 1) Lena's superiors find out about what she is doing. She is killed by them and Gwen, having proved her loyalty by giving Trevor the files, gets her job like she wanted.

2) Lena's superiors find out too late, and they are Protocolled. Lena leads the team in a sort of resistance-style movement against the fears (and possibly Gwen, who may have taken over for her), to destroy the fears and prevent the alchemy project that the Institute was working on.

Also, I think near the end of the episode or near the end of the Hilltop Road shenanigans, we are going to get a glimpse of Annabelle Cane. (I really want to hear her again, guys; I want her to be involved with this grand plan)

I really don't want anyone to die, especially Alice and Lena, since they are my favorites, but I have a feeling Lena is going to die )):

Anyway, I can't wait for the finale! I will most likely have a lot to say about it :D

[aidenlydia]

How long have you been drawing? I really like your art styl. I've been wanting to learn how to draw, but I'm worried I won't ever be able to pick it up or have the patience or know how to start.

(video includes some of my art from 2017-2019)

Drawing has always been a hobby of mine, but I only got serious about it around 2017. The most important thing is motivation, that's why a lot of people get started with fanart and learn the fundamentals through it. Try drawing things you love! References are your best friend, I have entire folders for every character I draw.

All artstyles are a combination of process and appearance preference: I don't use multiple layers for lineart (my sketches are the lineart and I clean them up with an eraser) and semi-realism is the easiest for me because I was mostly into traditional realism at first - I learned I like fine details, clean but sketchy lines and rough textured brushes. It's kinda like handwriting, you already have your own unique way of drawing, but you can shape it to your developing tastes with practice.

For most folk anime and comic styles are usually easier to learn, because they simplify everything already. Especially at the very beginning copying other people's art and manga/comic panels is a great way to get into drawing, figuring out your preferences and build up muscle memory (don't upload copied art, but traced photos are fine).

Remember that the art you enjoy seeing and the art you enjoy making can look vastly different. Having multiple styles, changing over time and experimenting are very natural things.

To this day I struggle drawing chibis and cartoons because I've only studied realism :') Even semi-realism has only recently clicked for me by closely looking at other people's art, so don't stress yourself with only focusing on the fundamentals.

Another tip that really helped me understand better in the beginning was watching various artists draw in real time, just observing them can really clarify the process and break it down. It's also a lot less lonely than learning all alone - there's lots of art youtubers and tutorials.

Here are a few:

How to start drawing for beginners

What our brains do when we draw

How to learn to draw (as an adult)

Learn the sketching basics

Obligatory Drawfee episode

Tips for changing artstyles/get unstuck from patterns

Doodle date (caus they're wholesome and fun)

Guided drawing practice with Nathan

[that-ari-blogger]

Of Course Orpheus Is Here

As I have analysed Stray Gods: The Role Playing Musical, my thesis has been that this is a story about change, choice, and family. This is why Persephone is a majour player, for example, because of the symbolism of that character and the associated themes of her story. But there is one character who is so iconic to these themes that he has become the poster child for the power of love in Ancient Greek mythology.

It would have been a crime to not include Orpheus in this story. Both because of the themes mentioned above, but also because it's a musical, and Orpheus was a bard. This character was handed to the writers on a silver platter. They didn't even have to change anything to make him fit.

But they did change Orpheus. Or rather, they did give their own take on the character.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Let's start simple. Who was Orpheus in the myth? I know that this may be obvious, but it's nice to have everyone on the same page and to cite some sources.

According to Britannica, Orpheus was a bard who traveled with the Argonauts to retrieve the golden fleece, and married Eurydice. After her death...

"Overcome with grief, Orpheus ventured himself to the land of the dead to attempt to bring Eurydice back to life."

Which didn't go well for him. He was told to not look back, but he did anyway, and she was gone forever. The story continues, but it's all about his dismemberment, so I'm going to stop here. Worldhistory.org backs up this story, with some added context about his brother being killed by Hercules, amongst other interesting things. I encourage you to read the articles for yourselves.

In Stray Gods, the audience is introduced to Orpheus indirectly. As in, the entire segment with Orpheus in it is a reference to the myth. Freddy, Grace's friend (and in some playthroughs, love interest) has been killed and Grace will descend to the underworld to get her back. Immediately, the parallels are obvious, and we haven't met the guy yet.

There is also the parallel between Orpheus and Persephone. Specifically, the entitlement. Both feel that they made their choice and deserve the reward almost as a payment. The opening of this song serves to remind the audience, or spell it out if they don't already know, Persephone's backstory and motivation in this musical.

This is Orpheus's introductory shot. He's standing on a cliff overlooking an empty kingdom. You want symbolism? Here it is. Everything in this man's life has led up to this, this is a life he has built for himself. Except that he hasn't built it, he's taken it from someone else and is completely unequipped to deal with it. Orpheus is not a good ruler; Orpheus is an extremely lonely man.

And yet he is surrounded by people, by fans, by a chorus. Why is he so lonely?

He's lonely because these are ghosts, both literally and figuratively. They aren't friends or companions or anything similar, they are empty adoration, and he knows. The masks they wear serve to drive this point even further, there is no individuality, they aren't people to him, they are subjects. Orpheus is trying to become like Hades.

"Someone's coming..."

"You better be ready,"

"A wolf if wating in the tune."

"He's a master of his craft"

"Someone's coming..."

"We have to take back..."

"I can feel them howling at the moon."

"What is mine."

Stray Gods does this a lot. Two characters singing over the top of each other. But instead of shouting to be heard, they instead swap between like they are each the backup singer for the other. This is my favourite example by far.

It serves to show off how similar the characters are, but also their conflict and differences. It's like an argument through lyrics.

And that drum. That drum that keeps moving. Steady, like a clock, beating over and over, relentlessly. The drum that punctuates their words.

Time has made enemies of these two, both victims of a cruel king, now bitterness has turned them against each other. And the ticking of that percussive clock keeps on going, as if it's enjoying tormenting them. Until all of a sudden, it is gone.

This is how you present a threat. Grace has so far been the one to control the music, the one to get answers. And now here is a man who can do the same thing.

Orpheus isn't the biggest danger to Grace at all, but the emotionally charged nature of this interaction, combined with how much fun he has doing exactly what she does, means that Orpheus is portrayed here as an outright villain. For the moment anyway.

This is a villain song. This is the cackling egomaniac explaining his plans to the audience, so they know to root against him, while simultaneously explaining how great he is. I couldn't help linking the "best that's ever been" line to Ratigan's World's Greatest Criminal Mind song from The Great Mouse detective. And like Ratigan, Orpheus is surrounded by sycophants who talk absolute bollocks to please him, because he is in command. Exhibit A:

"I haven't really sung a single word."

"No he hasn't even sung a single word."

The man has been singing for nearly three minutes straight at this point.

"What's your problem with Persephone?"

Finally, we understand some things. Why is Orpheus so bitter? Because the love of his life was taken from him, and he blames Persephone for not doing anything about it.

But take this line for example:

"And Persephone you stood right beside him and said what a shame."

Contrast that with this line from an earlier song.

"You abandoned me to a terrible fate... you know how far I bent before I snapped."

The second line is from Old Wounds, and it is Persephone accusing Apollo of abandoning her, now Orpheus accuses Persephone of the same thing. This isn't so much a literary parallel, but two literary lines layered on top of each other.

The point I am making is that Orpheus factors into this story as a warning. Choices have consequences, sure, but so does doing nothing. Apathy leads to complacency, and when victims lash out and the cause of their pain is unavailable, the people who could have acted and did nothing are easy targets.

The caveat is that this is metered by human perception, which doesn't always match reality. Orpheus has perceived Persephone's inaction as being complicit and hasn't recognised her pain. Meanwhile Persephone has done the same to Apollo. And Apollo has actually done this to himself, seeing his own inaction as a weakness, whether accurate or not.

Then there is the question of why Orpheus is so associated with rock. As in, it's fun, and this song is a genuine bop. But why was this choice made? He could have easily gone for more classical, memorial tone, or even sung a pop song. So why this? Other than because a ghost electric guitar is awesome.

"[Rock] has been a symbol of rebellion, youth, and freedom. Rock music has also been a symbol of social change. It has been used to voice the concerns of the oppressed and to challenge the status quo."

- Boysetsfire.net.

Essentially, rock is a genre about change or bringing about change. And what does Orpheus want to do? He wants to take revenge, to change his circumstances. He's been wating for this moment for years, and now he is ready.

But Orpheus is an incredibly static character, at least when he is introduced. He stews and can't move on past injuries. So, in my reading, this is what this song is, the rock here is to bring about the change in Orpheus and Persephone, in finally getting them to move on.

"If he's the victim, what am I?"

This is, in my opinion, the most revelatory part of this song and the musical as a whole. Its a lack of understanding of this basic fact: Pain is not exclusive. If one person is traumatised, that doesn't eliminate or minimise what someone else went through. Life isn't a game of who is suffering more. If you want to heal, you need to understand not just yourself, but those around you. You don't have to empathise, but seeing another victim as an opponent isn't helpful and actively harms people more.

And if pain isn't exclusive, neither is healing. It is our duty as human beings to be kind, and if someone needs help, to at least offer and be willing to give aid. We are a collaborative species. If two people are in pain, especially because of a single cause, then helping each other to heal is always an option.

That drum that I identified with time and trauma returns for most of the song, playing erratic rhythms in ways a music scholar could probably analyse with much more coherence than me. What I will say is when the two finally reconcile, they sing over each other again, but this time it's less of an argument and more of a conversation, and that drum is nowhere to be seen.

They can take this healing on their own terms, in their own time.

Final Thoughts:

I love this song, and I love that Orpheus was included here. I feel that this song is a really nuanced discussion of the effects of someone like this version of Hades. He's not here, he's dead, but his legacy remains, and that empty throne is still ruling over Orpheus and Persephone as if they are still his subjects. I hope my analysis expressed this nuance coherently.

Next week I am covering both Adrift Reprise and The Trial. So stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[lailoken]

Greetings!

I’ve been reading Witchcraft: A Tradition Renewed by Doreen Valiente and Evan John Jones, which I’ve been enjoying so far! But there has been one thing that I’m a little stuck on and what to know your thoughts and opinions on the subject. While I was reading about the personal working tools or the arte, there is this reference “Because of the fertility aspect of the Old Faith, it is incompatible with nature and with the creation of life that one person can consecrate the wine within the cup.”

So my question (and perhaps concern) is can a lone practitioner not achieve this without a working partner? What if one can’t find another to work with? I’m wanting to get out of the arm chair occultist stage and dive deeper and really start practicing, and this quote got me wondering. I might be looking to into it tbh. What are your thoughts?

Thank you for your time!

I want to preface this by saying that I haven't ready anything but certain excerpts from the work you've mentioned here, and I don't feel that I'm anything near a specialist on the specific strain of modern traditional witchcraft that is often called "Old Craft".

However, I can say that, in my own experience of the Craft—as learned through tutorship, spiritwork, and experimentation alike—I have absolutely been able to achieve works of great power in a solitary context, including acts of consecration. Though, in many ways, I would hardly think of most of my experiences as truly solitary, since I work so closely with numinous entities.

[februarytodeath]

🧡 thoughts on girl prometheus track by track!!!

track 1: biblical love

forreal just sat there with my jaw hanging during my first watch/listen

she's tied to the altar .......

aside from october birds it could also be referencing prometheus being bound to a rock?

everything about this song is so good. the lyrics. the music video. the dress. the screams especially! it was a welcome surprise

very much enjoying how the first songs of the past two flower face albums include screaming (spiracle+biblical love)

i'm really not over the dress. like i Need a dress like that. and the one she wore for the pisces moon mv

the first part of the song reminds me of virgin

the song also sounds a bit like the garden so now i'm imagining a mashup even if they aren't related

the music in the teaser for this mv sounded like cornflower blue i Think

track 2: cat's cradle

i remember hearing the demo!!!

this song is soooo me

her description of it on bandcamp...like Yes. i Get It.

me whenever i find a new guy to have a weird romantic/platonic/gender envy/[???] type of obsession with

so sad i couldn't get a you're so cool shirt. it's so cute :(

track 3: maniac

i was kiiinda expecting it to sound more aggressive/frightening sonically? sortof like the way the audio was edited in the teaser

but! after having listened to it, i do think the more stripped back sound Does work with the tone of the lyrics ... the "[laughing] so you don't scream and cry," as she describes on bandcamp

track 3: valentine

GODDDD THIS SONG

second verse hits. entire song hits really.

this was the snippet i got after pre-saving the song:

i was like ??? Does She Know ???

yeah sometimes i think i feel too much for my own good and that's what this song is to me

also! i have to say the instrumentals are just So beautiful. this includes love of mine and outro 🫶

track 5: eternal sunshine

i might watch eternal sunshine after this ... i've been meaning to

"it's your fault that that i'm alive / it's your fault i want to die / but i will learn to love this world / i won't be november's girl" waow....

the repeated mentions of hands is interesting

track 6: the ides of march

my only thought is that i really want to hear this live. it just sounds so ... i'm not sure. i can't come up with the right words to describe it. all i know is that i want to lose myself in this song

track 7: cordelia

heard the demos for these too!!! when i saw they were taken off tiktok i got really excited bc that meant the song was making it onto gp

when i recognized the first lines i got so happy

then i got sad because this song is devastating

if this had a music video ohhh i would never shut up

tangent: the titles in the middle of the album are all references ... unfortunately i'm not the kind of person who would fully get them

track 8: squirrel cinderella

really depressing lyrics for a song called Squirrel Cinderella

the internet is gonna make me crazy too flower face

this feels like lonely summers where you have nothing to do but sit in your room and think and be sad

"and i've tried so hard to find a soft way out" ... man ..

track 9: skeleton key

"i want you the way that i want to be eaten alive" yeah

the mv was great too ... i'm no stranger to romanticizing my hurt and trying to turn it into art

track 10: pushing daisies

cornflower blue when gunpowder blue

actually now that i think about it this kindof feels similar to cornflower blue ... it's the violent but soft lyrics i think. and trains

track 11: if i beg you

absolutely one of my favs

october birds good ending

"well, goddamn, you're just like your father" could also be a reference to back to you?

the music video for this is soooo good too. very fun, very cathartic

also! definitely the perfect track to end the album

overall:

what a way to start november

flower face is great at picking songs to open and close her albums. spiracle and bad astrology for tsiyw and biblical love and if i beg you for gp just Feel Right

love the recurring motifs in the mvs (tv, heart mirror, red and blue lighting)

every lyric is like a stab to the heart

revisiting the thread she made of pictures related to each song on gp and going OHHHHH

the story behind the girl prometheus title + the orange album cover referencing the fire are actually so genius

i need to cover every song on this album and write a whole essay on it and draw stuff based on the mvs and and

i love you flower face

[aurae-rori]

hi friend, i am literally so glad i've found another dr. ratio enjoyer! you're literally such a great writer and I love your character analyses.

anyways, my curiosity is peaked, how is children of the city dr. ratio core?

First of all, thank you so much - haha, I'm glad that you enjoy my analyses and writings. I'm so sorry that it took me this long to get back to you - I had a few things to take care of, but I'm going to do a full analysis in your honour!

Analysis under the cut, because it gets really long. :)

"Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day And then drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play Only eat, or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands"

I'm totally not projecting my gifted child trauma here, nuh uh... Anyway, my personal HC for Ratio is that his child might have felt monotonous being in classes that he was already too "intelligent" for. Learning things at a quicker pace than other children, absorbing knowledge up like a sponge - sure, the praise is nice, but after awhile, especially when you get to higher levels, intelligence isn't enough to carry you. You have to put diligence, effort, blood sweat and tears into what you're studying for, especially if you want to make a change, like how Dr. Ratio wanted to. It. must have gotten lonely, getting up only to do more researcher, eating only to go back to work. Following a schedule is wonderful, and he would have enjoyed the routine, but after being isolated from other people along with that, it might have made him feel subhuman or less than human for only being there for the studying of more knowledge. Eat, study, work, repeat. This is more of a personal HC rather than something canon, though. :)

"By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride Bonus if brunette In 90 hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque"

I feel like the prospect of romance is pushed onto children at a very young age - and that can be applied to Dr. Ratio. Who knows what romantic beliefs that he grew with? However, I believe this is less of him observing himself, but more of him seeing what the education system does to others, and how society molds others into the person that they "should" be, rather than what they want to be. Also, it could be a reference to academic trauma and placing all your self worth in your grades.

"Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves Picking out my pre-written persona (ha-ah-ah) Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in the city's night"

This is how I see Dr. Ratio holding a grudge against the Aeons and other figures of authority. We are all expected to be "good" and "well-behaved", and yet, we all look to the "city's night" - the approval of those who are in a higher position of us. We want to gain the approval and the praise of our parents, of our teachers - it's natural, after. We want to be included in the "city's night" - in Dr. Ratio's case, the gaze of Nous. He wants to be acknowledged by Nous and let into the Genius Society because his beliefs that were instilled into him as a child dictate that since he is hailed as a genius, he should be seen as one by the Aeons, right? However, I'd like to point out the usage of the words "neon stars" - stars are not neon. This implies that the stars are fake - I can also see this as a pointer to the idea of there system itself being fake, or societal "norms" being fake, as we are all unique.

"In four hundred thousand meters, turn right

Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy"

Dr. Ratio following orders until he doesn't. Fitting in until he gives up on it. Setting himself free from the chains of what is expected from him of other people, but not by the Aeons - no, that's something that still stays with him. However, I like to interpret the idea of a "familiar warm body" being his own childhood - killing the child that you used to be in favour of facing the future. Coffee is also something commonly regarded as students or workers using it to keep awake during long periods of work and study - it talks about how he has known to fight for himself, or fight for what he wants, before he was told to suck it up and just work for the sake of others, for the sake of the authority. However, this might feel scripted to him as well, with the mention of a "proxy" - it was a decision someone else made for him, maybe? Who knows? Maybe his selflessness was originally chosen by someone else, and drilled into him?

"As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand We had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable being Who I considered worthless"

This is definitely expanding on the idea of being raised to just be used by the authorities. Also, this can also be a representation of the way that he calls himself "mundane" - he was called a genius and raised as one, and now that Nous has not seen him, he must be "mundane" and he must come to terms that he is exactly what he wasn't called growing up. None of their words of praise have any meaning any more, because in the all seeing gaze of an Aeon, he is nothing.

"Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (the reason why) The sufferings never end"

As Dr. Ratio uncovers the truth of his childhood and the truth of why he was raised this way, the empathy that he has suppressed comes back up. And this is it - because he feels for others, because he is so incredibly human, that is the reason why his suffering does not end. He cannot detach himself like other people, like other geniuses, and treat life with little to no care. He cannot, because he loves, and that is his fatal flaw. He listens to his heart, as well as his mind, and that does not make him a genius in the eyes of an Aeon.

"Do not go home until you finish reading the value of E. 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762"

"E" is a mathematical constant, and therefore is logical. It's called the base of a natural logarithm, and while my knowledge in that area is limited, the fact that it is called a "constant" means that it cannot change, just like all numbers cannot. It might be a representation of the idea of Dr. Ratio trying again to fit in with others, only to fail once more, even though he knows all the rules. He was simply born in a different way, doomed from the start. It wasn't his fault.

He was just human.

You can also see this as Dr. Ratio observing the world as he grows up in an "apathetic" and "detached" way - as he pushes down his own emotions in favour of staring at his own success to help others, knowing that his empathy will not get him anywhere in terms of a cruel world. However, he cannot help it.

Ultimately, "Children of the City" is about how we are raised in a society that forces the idea of work on us ever since we are young. We do not get to cherish our childhoods nor our youth, and are immediately turned to the prospect of how we can provide value to society. We are raised in a never ending cycle like machines, to be puppets to corporations, to be slaves by the desire of the majority, to never have free will of our own.

Summoning @ironunderstands @pepper-demon @misty-lilies @sleepyburito :)