#i don't even see the summer component being a big deal either

[mischas]

Marissa’s my number one girl forever and I also feel like Zach’s character, which I enjoyed up until 2x16, got shafted for the sake of comedy, so I’m totally delighted by the concept of Marissa/Zach. Elaborate on them if you can?

He absolutely did, and it's a shame. He's not the most fleshed out guy (are any on this show...) but Michael works so well off of Adam and the way Zach has the potential to pick at Seth's very specific wounds hits me in a way that few Seth-related things do past early s1. They don't do much with it, but I like what we get to see of it. Like Neil taking to Zach immediately at the club. That is so gutting!

I will probably never write it, but I like imagining Marissa falling into Zach post-Johnny or sometime during a college break. Obviously I detest the notion that Marissa is only attracted to chaos or who will piss off her mother. Like theeeee most reductive character writing ever it makes me want to scream. Sure she's attracted to chaos (she is not the only one!!!!) but she's mostly attracted to fishes out of water because that's how she herself feels. However, she also dated Luke for many years, and Luke was that cookie cutter Newport archetype. I like imagining Marissa seeking companionship post-Johnny (she's actually seeking companionship during the Johnny fiasco which says more about her boyfriend/friends than it does her imo but I digress). And I wish s2 would've told us how Zach navigates Newport. He plays water polo AND he's pretty open about his nerdier interests. He's pretty open with his heart to a girl that's only half interested. I think so much could've been said about the status of the Newpsies through him if they'd just put in the effort since they chucked Luke out of town.

I've always wanted to see Marissa paired with a normal bloke. Just good intentions and vibes and nothing for the narrative to tell us she loves chaos and misery or whatever the fuck. Even Alex, though I love Malex, is postured as Marissa pursuing a party lifestyle to directly piss off her mother. It's ridiculous. They are always trying to tell some sort of rubbish story about Marissa's character through her romantic choices and it's maddening. Just let the girl date!

So with Zach I think she'd love his emotional honesty and be charmed at the concerted efforts he puts in to understand her and help her navigate the complexities life always throws her. We don't know a ton about him, but he's the opposite of the intensity she has with Ryan that always bowls her over. Obviously I love RM and I think they end up together in every universe but I do think it would take years and effort on both sides to unravel the shit that happened to them individually and together as teens. So much of the show is them slowly working toward that finish line imo. The whole point is they're supposed to wade through shit to get to the other side of it. And to me, Marissa dating someone like Zach for however long, maybe years, would help get her there. Not to say I want Zach as another cog in the Core Four MachineTM but like... oh well. I also envision Zach having a fun but tense working relationship with Seth over the years. And separately from that I love the idea of Seth being good friends with one of Marissa's boyfriends. It's so warmie. It's why I wrote that into my last fic. Because at the end of the day I also see Seth/Marissa as platonic soulmates, lol.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

I know you're a big x-men fan (possibly an understatement?), so do you mind me asking if you have any thoughts on the upcoming Jean Grey movie? I don't know enough about her in the comics to really know what to expect (though I do very much like Sophie Turner)

So, with the caveat that I actually did not know this movie was being made until you sent this ask and I cannot find even a teaser trailer for it (I strongly suspected that this was bullshit for a second, until I found some articles), here are Some Thoughts.

First off, Apocalypse was actually my favorite X-Men movie in a very long time--I liked First Class, and the very first Singer X-Men has some nostalgia value, but Apocalypse actually felt like a damn team movie, which was a thrilling change of pace.  That being said, every time they announce a new X-Men movie I live a few hours in existential despair about adaptations of my all-time favorite comics characters, and I usually set aside a few hours to have a crisis before I actually go see the thing, and a few more to watch X-Men Evolution afterward.  I was actually so frustrated I cried when they announced Logan.  I still went to see it!  I did!  But I spent a couple days fuming about how much damage the movies have done to my love for Wolverine, first.

That being said.

Things I am Tentatively Excited About

Clearly they have already figured out that Dark Phoenix needs to be the Whole Entire Plot.  None of this “Also let’s talk about the Cure” nonsense.  Don’t half-ass two huge plotlines, whole ass one huge plotline.

Apparently they’re taking extra time in post to do the effects, so hopefully it’ll be VISUALLY dazzling, regardless.

I LOVED Sophie Turner as Jean Grey in Apocalypse and I’m so, so glad they’re going to keep her going as the Star Of The Show.  She did a great balance of ‘I’m going to do what needs to be done because I’m the one who can do it’ and ‘oh BOY am I ever screamingly terrified of my powers’, which is really what I like to see in any character at all, but especially Jean Grey.  There’s a fine line to walk between ‘character with legitimate fears about what embracing their powers could turn them into’ and ‘Girl who is Afraid Of Herself and needs to be Encouraged’, and I think Ms Turner did an amazing job walking that line.

Speaking of being afraid of one’s powers, I actually also loved Scott in Apocalypse, he had a real personality and that’s depressingly rare in Scott Summers.  Please don’t be mean to him, he’s a great character, just because he’s not a delinquent doesn’t mean he’s this featureless Fun Ruiner.  I thought his dynamic with Jean had a lot of promise and I’m hopeful that they get some mileage out of that.

I think Hugh Jackman has gone into witness protection from the X-Men franchise, so probably no Logan/Jean/Scott love triangle, which--thank you God and also Jesus, I’m Over that love triangle and I have been since I was eight.

I don’t know if they’re planning to have Storm, Kurt, or Jubilee in the movie, but I also loved all of them and would really be thrilled to see them.  I have higher hopes about Storm than the others.

All I want out of this is a good Scott/Jean dynamic, everything else is second fiddle and lower.  Please, after all these fucking X-Men movies, give me a good Scott/Jean dynamic.

Things I am Already Dreading

Hoo boy, folks, as you may have deduced from my above comment about Jean Grey, the plot of “I’m afraid of my powers” can get into some distasteful areas preeeeeeeetty quick.  If they’re determined to go the route of ‘Jean has these abilities within her purview unassisted, but she’s unable to control them’ they’re going to be getting into territory that could go phenomenally well or astoundingly badly.

As mentioned above, if this is straight up and down issue of Jean having these powers as a natural part of her skill set, that’s fine, but please God if you’re doing that and you still want to delve into the fact that, hey, yeah, Jean Grey has some real issues, just don’t be a dick about it.  I’m not even asking for a sensitive take on PTSD and the idea of being traumatized by your own brain in the most literal sense, I’m just asking for not being an ass.

I just want a movie with some fucking aliens.  They don’t seem to have any fucking aliens.  The Phoenix Force is a fucking alien space thing.  Give me some fucking space shit, it has been so many movies and yet I have no space shit.

If this is a movie about how Charles Xavier is a bad person and/or an idiot, I’m going to have a stroke.  Listen.  He allowed a child to live her fucking life by closing off powers she was wildly unprepared to handle, and helped her adjust bit by bit.  That doesn’t make him a fucking monster and I am deeply over the take that Xavier is a hypocrite, a fool, and somehow the bad guy.  Just because Magneto’s philosophy isn’t strictly speaking wrong does not make Magneto right, and it does not make Xavier stupid for trying for a better outcome.  Believing that life is valuable is never the wrong call--which, incidentally, is a philosophy I learned from the fucking X-Men.

Things About Which I am Undecided

They’re planning to have Magneto in it which...look, y’all, I love Ian McKellan with a love that is true and pure, but having Mags in Last Stand was a questionable decision at best, tied into the frankly Bad decision to do the Cure plot as well as Dark Phoenix.  I enjoy Fassbender’s Magneto and like his dynamic with Xavier very much, and would normally be pleased to see them be Tense at each other some more.  However.  Last Stand has made me permanently skeptical of having Magneto in a Dark Phoenix narrative.

Like I said, they don’t have the Shi’ar or any space shit at all, as far as I can tell, which.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I’ll be curious to see how they do the plot without that component, because, again, Last Stand went poorly.

The cast, particularly Sophie Turner, say that this film is “more emotionally-laden and grounded” and oh my God guys, that could go so well or it could be a train wreck.  You know what else was supposed to be emotionally laden?  Civil War.  I think we are all learning about my opinions on that subject.

It’s gonna have Mystique in it, which--listen.  I understand that she’s a good obvious parallel to Xavier, in that her powers are physically obvious and his are not, et cetera et cetera, but I never reeeeeeally cared that much about Mystique prior to First Class and I can’t say that Days of Future Past (FUCK DoFP) or Apocalypse really kept up my interest.  So.  Like.  I care a lot more about any of the other options for a focus character.  

I want some good Xavier and Magneto interactions, if Magneto’s going to be there anyway.  I do NOT want this to be another movie about Xavier and Magneto’s relationship delicately supported by another character undergoing a much more interesting plot.

Things You Can Expect Regardless of Actual Film Quality

I’m gonna write some posts.  It’s inevitable.  They will either be rhapsodies about my love for the film or wrathful breakdowns of all my complaints.

I’ll probably write some fic.  I’m still really happy with limitations of wax, which takes place after Apocalypse, and I have that long-ass post-canon Evo-verse fic in the works still (pushing 60 pages).  I like talking about the X-Men.

If Kitty Pryde and Piotr Rasputin are in this movie for 0.0001 seconds, I regret to inform you that you will all be hearing A Great Deal about them.  

I will continue to be Not Interested in Charles Xavier/Erik Lensherr.

So, uh...those are my thoughts.  

I love the Dark Phoenix arc, I think I should say that as a closer.  On a wider level, wildly overpowered characters are really interesting to me, largely because everyone’s terrified of writing them and therefore most versions feel very unique.  On a more specific level, I think the comic concept of the Phoenix Force becoming addicted to life, addicted to the experience of being alive, and shattering star systems just to see what the sparks of the planets taste like as they fade out--I think that’s a gorgeous story.  A tragedy, to be sure, the Trojan War against one woman, with casualties spent as carelessly as sand, but a gorgeous tragedy.  If they do a good job with Jean, I’m sure I’ll be just as game for it.

Y’all I’m gonna write a fic after this movie called “terahelen (serious inroads on the welfare of the galaxy)” and it’s going to be the most upsetting tragic shit about Scott and Jean that I can possibly pump out.

[eds-zebra-warrior]

2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 11 Prompt: Nature and Environment)

I love the spring and summer months. The heat may affect some of my symptoms and flare them up but when you’re primarily homebound and live in a home with a patio or deck it's like gaining another room to your home in the spring when you can go out onto the porch and enjoy the sunshine and breeze. Many of you have heard of Seasonal Affect disorder. Imagine being in the same 4 rooms for 7 months of the year. It gets depressing so having the outdoors open to me, even if I can't do a lot out there really does a lot for my depression.

As far as the environment indoors our home isn't optimal by any means. Sure it's handicap accessible, minus the bathroom which I struggle a lot with but our home is notoriously dark. We have a front porch that shades the light into our living room and very few windows in other rooms. The east side of our house has no windows and the west side of our house is our garage and our patio. The patio has a sliding glass door but the garage runs alongside it so a lot of the light is blocked from the garage. To make things more interesting, my dad likes living in a cave so will often put all of the blinds down because he's paranoid people will look in and see him, idk, watching TV or something lol. My mom and I can't get enough light but he's always closing blinds and drapes. At this point, I’m so desperate for light I could almost care less if someone saw me changing my clothes in my room if I could get some sunshine. Lighting isn't the only component of an optimal environment to me. I also like things clean and organized.

When I lived alone I was very minimalist. A lot of my friends who came over would either tell me it looked like no one lived there or say my house looked like a museum. Extra trinkets and clutter just wasn't my thing. I was extremely organized utilizing organization systems to make the best of my space and to give everything a home. When I was no longer allowed to live alone, I moved in with my parents and I love them to death but they are older and have had a lot more years to collect things, to buy things, have had people pass away and unable to let go, having a lot of things that have sentimental meaning behind them and aren't all for organization systems like I am because they believe it is more work to keep things organizing instead of believing in the way I do that having things organized gives everything a home so it’s easier and quicker to put them away and keep them organized. My dad is also one of the ones that when he goes into a big furniture store he can't picture furniture in a small living room so we have a lot of oversized furniture that he didn't think was as big as it was when he saw it in the store. Big tables and flat surfaces means a big area to just drop things when you come in the door so it's not as bad as a lot of homes I’ve seen and they don't have as much stuff as, let's say a hoarder but in no way are they as minimalistic and organized as I am.

Being Medically diagnosed with OCD clutter equates to stress for me. It gives me stress being around clutter. Though a lot of things in regard to cleaning I cannot do and can't reach I find myself sitting in the house staring around the room making lists of things I wish I could clean or organize so on that aspect it is a bit difficult for me. It's hard not knowing where to put things or what to do with them because you feel like there's too much stuff and not enough places to put it.

Some of you know how it was during the pandemic and stay at home order being stuck in the house for days at a time, only being able to go out to buy food or go through a drive thru. Now imagine you cannot go out and do that shopping or picking up food and you are stuck in your house for 15 months straight, only leaving four times in that time for doctor's appointments. Imagine not being able to do hobbies and only being able to sit in front of a phone, computer or TV for those 15 months. This is what it’s like being chronically ill. Of course without the pandemic I can leave the house for an hour or two every week or two or once a month. To do those things like following my mom around the store while she grocery shops or look around a store but this is still probably less than you went out during the full blown stay at home order when everything was shut down. I had so many people who would make nasty comments about my depression when I first got sick and I didn't even get suicidality depressed until I hit two years straight being in the house yet these same people were the ones who would post about their depression or suicidal ideation on Facebook after two weeks straight of the stay at home order, when they still were able to leave the house to get groceries.

This showed me that psychologically I am a lot healthier than most people are if it took me two years to get to the same point of depression that others were in after two weeks of staying at home, still able to leave their homes and do more at home than I could. I never got one apology from any of those people who called me crazy, told me I need a psychologist, asking if I want to die so bad why I don't just kill myself, tell me my depression is annoying or how I'm overreacting or weak or that my problems weren't that bad or that they didn't want to be friends anymore because I'm too depressed when two weeks into the stay at home order they were doing the exact same thing and in the same emotional shape it took me two years to get to so yes it is difficult and our environment does play a big role in our health both physically and mentally but lack of understanding can result in verbal abuse and harassment due to a severe lack of understanding and empathy by those who are more fortunate. You can eventually start to get used to being stuck inside. Don't mistake being used to being stuck inside with being content and happy to be inside because trust me, If anyone ever wanted to trade me their health for my health for a week I would gladly take them up on that.

I would give anything to have a more normal life, go to work, get married, have kids, deal with the stresses of planning a wedding or showing up at school because your kid got into a fight at school. I'm not looking for a glam life but just a typical life would be an opportunity I would never turn down which is why one of the most hurtful things you can say to someone on disability is “It must be nice to not have to work and be able to lay around all day!” because they don't know how lucky they are to be able to get out of the house and work, to have a family to make money and be a part of society and have value, self worth and purpose and how many of us would give anything to be able to do the same thing and anyone who disagrees probably isn't truly disabled and using the system because that's a life many of us wish we had. Nothing fancy, just something to give us that value, self worth, and purpose we no longer have.