#i don't even remember how i felt at the time
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This had never occurred to me way back when when I first watched playthroughs of the game/played it myself, but;
Seeing this post made me remember Max's nightmare, when she was trapped in her own mind/a broken version of reality.
And seeing this now?
Max definitely has PTSD.
Everyone always primarily discusses/ focuses on Chloe's trauma (which is understandable. I'll always be a Chloe defender and don't want to downplay her trauma by any means.)
But, unfortunately, Max's is overlooked.
Now, a lot of people might view this skeptically, question the idea of Max having PTSD. To many, it might seem like Max doesn't really have any lasting form of major trauma after the events of the game. Maybe she really was content and at peace and happy-go-lucky. (I've always scoffed at that scene at Chloe's funeral, when Max smiles at the butterfly.) And I'll admit, within the context of the story maybe we aren't supposed to think so. But if that's the case I just have to assume that's due to the developing team's lack of knowledge, experience with mental health and how it works, the impact things like this have on someone. Not that they are coming from a malicious place, of course. But very rarely does a person 'get it' unless they've been through it themselves. The average person simply won't understand.
But if you see everything I've described here as it's laid out, it makes total sense;
Let's talk about Jefferson. He is just one of many elements in the game contributing to Max's trauma. He was her teacher, someone she looked up to, respected, and was supposed to be able to trust. She truly felt safe around him. It's implied she had a crush on him. But her image of him completely shattered. After the truth about him was revealed, she was no longer able to trust her own judgement of people, her perception of reality.
He drugged her when she was vulnerable, and she was helpless to watch as he shot and killed the love of her life right in front of her. He kidnapped her, and she was thrown from the frying pan right into the fire. When she woke up she was tied up in a basement, helpless, and he had burned all her photos. Not only precious memories, but also one of her only means of going back and fixing things. He then took photos of her, over and over, this went on for who knows how long, while she was drugged, tied up and helpless, in order to satisfy his own perversions. Throughout, he mocked and tormented her.
Then, let's go into what happened with Chloe. Having to watch her best friend, the girl she loved, die over and over and over again. Max felt responsible for fixing it, preventing it, because she was the only one who possibly could. She would blame herself, think of it as a failure on her part each time Chloe died.
After watching her die in various ways, so many times, I'm sure Max questioned if she really even could save Chloe- or if Chloe was supposed to die from the start, and the universe was determined to restore the balance, no matter what Max did or how hard she tried.
And then there's Kate. This could go one of two ways depending on your choices, one of which is infinitely worse and more traumatizing, but either way it would definitely have haunted Max and left an impact on her.
Imagine how you would feel, knowing one of your closest friends was being bullied. Knowing they have been drunk/drugged and taken advantage of at a party. Yet instead of anyone coming forward, doing the right thing and helping Kate out of that situation, everyone at the party instead weaponized it, used it against her, slut-shamed her even though she wasn't in her right mind, was barely even conscious and was in no way able to consent to anything that was happening. Not that slut-shaming her would have in any way been okay or excusable even if Kate was acting of her own volition. Knowing that, even though you don't agree/don't identify with that, that your friend is deeply religious and clings to faith as a means of comfort. Knowing that she feels like a failure, that she feels like she's betrayed her faith, everything she stands for, and her family, even though she was in fact a victim in her situation. Being able to read letters, watching her family victim-blame her, hide behind their beliefs as a means to tear down someone they should feel obligated to protect, to support. Watching your friend be alienated by everyone around her, including her own family. Watching the school bullies write obscenities about your friend on the walls, and in the bathroom, make jabs at her and taunt her at every possible opportunity. Your friend's light has begun to dim, she starts pulling away from you, begins hiding away in her room more, which now feels like a dark, oppresive void. You know your friend is depressed, and you're trying to be supportive in any way you can, but there's a distance building between you you feel you can't bridge.
Then it happens. She kills herself/tries to kill herself. In front of you, and everyone who tormented her. Even then, the people who hurt her have no shame, laughing and recording her when she's in crisis. You begin to question and blame yourself, blaming youself for not noticing something was severely wrong earlier, not recognizing the impending signs for what they were. You want to help your friend, to save her, but your powers at failing you at the worst possible time. You only get one chance to do this, like everyone else, and you have to do it the right way.
If Max managed to talk Kate down, that's still an instense emotional weight, still a serious event to work through and process.
If Kate jumps…well…
Max feels like a failure. Like she contributed to Kate's death just as much as everyone else. Like she may as well have pushed Kate off that ledge herself. Not only watching your friend die in front of you, but knowing that it was self-inflicted in a moment of desperation, that they chose to do so and your words had no effect…
Now, the end of the game. Depending on what you choose, Max either has to to feel an immeasurable weight on her conscience, the responsibility for the destruction of the town where she was born. Where she grew up. Where she has countless memories, despite its' faults. The deaths of almost everyone there she's ever known.
Including (especially) Joyce.
The guilt of feeling like she took Chloe's mom away from her too, after Chloe had already lost her dad.
Oh. And that reminds me.
It was an incredible miracle, Max discovering her ability to go back through time via photos. Being able to go back 5 years, to when she and Chloe were only 13, before all the horror had happened, and save William. The sense of sheer relief, happiness and accomplishment she felt. She felt like a hero.
Only for it to all blow up in her face in the worst possible way.
Seeing Chloe, now a total shell of her former self. Completely disabled, and paralyzed. Helpless. Unable to live on her own. Seeing firsthand the emotional and financial stress William and Joyce are going through as a result of the accident. Chloe having so little quality of life that she pleads with Max to kill her, because she can't even do it herself.
(This is not my narrative or opinion on Chloe's situation, by the way. This is how it's portrayed. Quality of life, determining whether your life is worth living to due a life-changing accident or consequent disability is the choice of the invidual whom it effects. I'm not saying that anyone in Chloe's situation, who is paralyzed would inherently have no quality of life or no reason to live. That really depends on the invidiual, what that person needs in order to truly live and thrive, whether that person has family and friends and an emotional/practical support system in their life, etc. For Chloe, for me, and for many other people, though not all, living that kind of life would not be worth it.)
Max, depending on your choices, having to kill Chloe, to choose the merciful path, allow Chloe to exercise her autonomy in a world in which she can no longer do so and put her out of her misery. Knowing that she's doing for Chloe what she'd want someone to do for her if she were in that situation, yet still full of pain and regrets.
Max then having to go back and undo it all. Allow William to die again. Watch Chloe experience that horror and trauma again, knowing now she could've prevented it. But at what cost?
Lastly, if you chose to let Chloe go. To let her die.
That makes it immeasurably worse in my opinion.
The week she and Chloe spent together, reconnecting and rebulding their friendship, everything they went through together, would essentially never have happened.
Chloe, in this timeline, died alone in a bathroom. She never recieved any sort of closure, never got to know what happened to Rachel, questioning if Rachel perhaps just abandoned her, similarly to how Max did.
She never got to resolve things with Max, never heard from her again. She never got to know that Max still loved her, still cared about her and thought of her, but was too scared and guilty to reach out.
She never got to patch up things with her mom, or with David.
Everything Max went through. Everything she experienced.
To recap:
Having to watch her best friend, the woman she loves, die over and over again, feeling helpless, trapped in this endless, hellish cycle of death.
Being lulled into a false sense of security, betrayed and abducted by someone she thought she could trust, someone she looked up to.
Witnessing firsthand Kate's suicide/attempt, feeling like she failed her.
Being forced to let William die again, and force Joyce and Chloe to suffer that loss again.
Having to watch Joyce mourn her only daughter, after already losing her husband. Knowing she could've prevented it.
Everything that happened would still exist, but only in Max's mind.
She has no one she could ever confide in, talk to, or open up about it.
Chloe, for her, was that person.
No one would believe her, albeit understandably.
It's implied her powers vanish after she goes back that final time to let Chloe die.
She'd have no way to prove her story was true.
Carrying the weight of that burden, that knowledge and trauma, alone, would drive anyone insane.
Feeling like everything she went through, all the efforts she made to keep Chloe alive, were pointless.
I don't believe there is any way Max could be okay after that.
She'd be a hollow shell, just going through the motions. Totally disconnected from the world and the people around her. (Understandably. Who the hell could she connect to? Who would understand her?) Everyone at Blackwell, and their student lives and petty drama would feel so insignificant. So incredibly stupid and shallow to Max after what she's been through.
In fact, I've always felt - years after the events of the game, were you to choose to let Chloe die - that Max likely killed herself.
Over time, she probably began to question herself, to feel crazy, and begin wondering whether any of what happened, actually did, or if it was just something her mind created.
Max's trauma, her thoughts and emotions in regards to all of this are reflected in this part of the game, her mental breakdown. You can see her self-loathing, the way she blames and criticizes herself, in her interactions with herself and in her distorted journal entries.
Anyway. I never really liked Max all that much as a protagonist.
I thought she was a pushover, a little shallow, cared too much about what people like Victoria thought of her. I thought it was pretty unforgivable the way she ghosted Chloe, at the most traumatic, formative time of Chloe's life, when she had just lost the most important person in her life, besides Max. I understand anxiety, feeling awkward, helpless and flailing in that situation and not knowing what to say or do to make it better, but it just doesn't matter to me. Nothing excuses that.
However…
Max, did ultimately (well, depending on your choice at the ending,) make it right.
This has given me some perspective, and I have a lot more empathy for her now.
you thought you could control everybody and everything, huh? — twist time around your fingers?
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#life is strange max#lis max#max caulfield life is strange#max caulfield lis#max life is strange#max lis#max's mental health#PTSD#analysis#media analysis#media literacy#literary analysis#characterization#meta#life is strange meta#thesis#character thesis#character analysis#chloe price#life is strange chloe#pricefield#chloe price x max caulfield#max caulfield x chloe price#chloe x max#max x chloe#chloe price life is strange#fave posts
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WHEN THE CAMS ARE OFF
So, Nandor and Guillermo are canonically doing some things when when they're not being filmed. With knowing this, I wanted to recap a few things from the season.
This post will mainly focus on how Nandor in particular handled himself subliminally towards the camera in certain situations. Also, that Guillermo faked to leave the vampires in E11 just for the documentary got me thinking which other things could be made up too. Giving a false view of facts just to make the audience think otherwise or to distract them from something specific... This specific thing they wanted to keep private, and didn't want it to be anyone else's business. Cause they wanted to solve and figure it out for themselves without having it exploited to the full in front of the camera. And this is the relationship development (secret affair) between Nandor and Guillermo that ran its course and has been cooked in the background during the sixth season.
[Sorry in advance for grammar mistakes and typos. English is not my first language]
The first hint is alreay in the first episode!
Nandor necessarily has to emphasize that he hasn’t seen Guillermo since he left, and Guillermo immediately throws in that he is telling the truth. But Nadja seems already to know what’s going on between these two idiots.
Also, Nandor trying to help Guillermo by searching for a flat and then suggest him to move into the VERY NEAR garden shed… A practical temporary solution if you don't want to be disturbed by the other housemates. I can well imagine that Nandor already thought of a better place for the two of them at this time. *Caugh* Secret underground lair *Caugh*
/|\ ^._.^ /|\
What about Nandor having a crush on the Guide?
... did he really ever have that, though?😏 What if Nandor’s crush on the Guide was made up by himself just for the documentary to distract the crew/viewers from himself and Guillermo, so that they don't keep following them to catch some shots? Yes, I know Nandor’s sudden crush on the Guide was at first caused by the sleep hypnosis… But for Nadja, the hypnosis seemed like a dream… Perhaps Nandor also thought he had dreamt that he suddenly had a crush on the Guide (or maybe Guillermo just told him) and Nandor was like: “You know what? That’s perfect! I use this to distract the doc crew and viewers from me and Guillermo!”
Nandor had one or more love interest in almost every season that he had a crush on. Why should it be any different now?
Due to this the film crew weren’t focussed on following them and wouldn’t wondering if Nandor could actually have something going on with Guillermo. Nandor’s crush on the Guide in general seemed very odd and just pretended for the camera/viewers. Over time, it seemed to appear more and more obviously and artificially.
In E4 "The Railroad" before Nandor said goodbye to the Guide, he looked suspiciously over his shoulder before making his flirtatious move towards her. It seemed as if he was aiming at it. Shouldn't he have been eyeing up his crush instead of making sure he was filmed flirting?
In E7 "March Mandess" Nandor looked very obviously into the camera during the scene used for the flashback, while Nandor is talking to Charmaine about the guide.
I also wonder why it was so important to Nandor that Charmaine would keep the thing of him and the guide to herself. Cause it’s made up and he just mentioned that he would has a crush on someone so that the film crew could add flashback? Generally, threatening to kill her in her sleep just because of that felt a bit too excessive, doesn’t it?
When the Guide finally rejects him perfectly in E9 “Come Out and Play” (you go, Girl!), Nandor seemed to fully ignore her destruction she has thrown at him.
He purposely ignored what she said. Even though he is normally so easily outraged. Especially after these true words that his supposedly "big love" said to him, he should’ve been at least a bit upset.
Just remember how devastated he was, when Gail rejects him, and she had rejected him way more nicely.
And please just directly compare Nandor’s “look of love” towards the Guide with how he looked at Guillermo in E3…
And the Oscar-worthy performance, in which Nandor fell on his knees saying overdramatically that the Baron should take his life instead of the Guide seemed totally forced.
Also, Nandor knew very well that the Baron wouldn't have killed anyone…
In E11 “The Finale” Nandor and the Guide is only a short topic at the beginning of the episode, when Nadja asked him if Laszlo could use some parts of the Guide for the Monster. Nandor didn't seem to be listening anyway with his mind somewhere else.
After it was announced that the film crew wanted to end the documentary, he didn't even flirt or interact more intensely with the guide in the entire episode. As if he no longer needed to fool anyone now that he knew the movie crew was leaving.
/|\ ^._.^ /|\
What about Nandor still saying mean things towards Guillermo?
I also want to cover up the thing of Nandor remaining to say mean things towards Guillermo and wiping his hand on him after the intense hand clasp cause it was a bit clamy.
I I have read criticism of it in some WWDITS negatively posts. And this opinion is valid, no question. But I could imagine that Nandor only continued to do this for the camera, or it is just a normal thing between them cause they are a very fucked up toxic couple anyway ;)
Look at the slightly unsettled grin on Nandor's face when he gave towards the camera. As if he was worried that this very unusually long-lasting hand clasp could lead to more while the camera is still rolling. So, he had to come up with a quick excuse to end it. This facial expression from Nandor looking directly into the camera is so different from the looks he gave to the camera while interacting with the guide. It is just a short glace towards the lens before he puts his eyes back to Guillermo.
Guillermo looked as if he was sad not to express his gratitude to Nandor the way he would like to (cause of cameras as well maybe?)
/|\ ^._.^ /|\
The Finale
Nandor was so obviously happy that the documentary crew were going to leave. He was excited to shoot B-roll footage all the time and he sassily said this when Nadja told him about Guillermo being sad about the end of the documentary:
Looks like someone was really excited to no longer be constantly followed by the camera so that they could continue to focus on "other things"... Also, this reference to the will they/won’t they dynamic of Nandermo is insane.
Colin and Nadja suspecting Guillermo of having a secret relationship with one of the crew members could be an indirectly hint of a secret relationship with Nandor as well. @barren-heart already did this post about it which has made me to create this summary (hope you don't mind me mentioning you here :3).
Nadja possibly saw Guillermo making out with someone who looks like Nandor and maybe it was actually just Nandor!
She just don’t recognised it that fast cause they might quickly disappeared somewhere OR it was just another hint from Nadja, because she knew. She had become a bit of a nandermo shipper this season ;)
In the last speech of Nandor for the documentary it was so clearly to notice that the lair is only a metaphor for Nandor’s private life with Guillermo after the film crew would be gone...
This directly glance into the camera during the speech pause... As if he explicit wanted to make clear that he wanted to say something different when the cameras would be off.
And Guillermo’s reaction during that scene is so fucking funny. He seemed to have a moment of hope that Nandor would actually reveal their affair, but no it is the superhero lair again.
/|\ ^._.^ /|\
The Final Scene
In the background, there was played the same song that was used in the pilot episode for the post-credits. I like that really much!
🎶“Tonight in the Moonlight” (Morrie Morrison Orchestra)🎶 Tonight in the moonlight When silver blends with blue We'll do the thing all lovers do Lingering on till dawn breaks through Tonight in the moonlight with you
And again that offensive look into the camera from Nandor in the middle of his speech and Guillermo trying to get something specific out of him...
If, by this time, someone still does not consider Nandermo to be canon, then I can no longer help them xD
Subtext is their thing! That's always been the case throughout all the seasons! And in such a way that it was already too subtle to be subtext.
However, even Guillermos love sick puppy eyes and his cute “What about one… one of the other reasons?" didn't caused Nandor to spit it out. He bravely continued to avoid eye contact and was trying very hard not to become weak.
When Guillermo said that he won’t be here anymore after Nandor would wake up, Nandor’s description of their secret lair feels forced, which again supports the thesis of an actual love cave: “But what about us joining forces and fighting crime in a coequal partnership? Operating out of a hidden underground lair accessible exclusively by a top-secret coffin elevator.”
Of course, Nandor believed that Guillermo wouldn't leave and was just putting on a show for the camera. He knows his Guillermo better than anyone else...
And THIS look of Nandor’s face when he wanted Guillermo to sit with him inside his coffin comparing with a confirming deep voicing “Mm-hmm”
Oh boy, as if they are going to do very spicy things in that lair...
Then finally the relevation of Nandor’s masterpiece...
During the whole season Guillermo had a problem with sexual things in front of the camera while Nandor had a problem with expressing deep and meaningful feelings while the crew was filming. And because of that they prefer do both things IN THE SHADOWS!
/|\ ^._.^ /|\
So, this my view of Season 6 and the Finale and also my special tribute to my most favorute show! 🦇♥️
It has become longer than expected. Thank’s to everyone who has taken the time to read it this far!
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come back. l Joel Miller
Summary: first steps together
Warnings: +18, smut, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do that), Ellie is mean to Joel
A/N: I guess I'm not done with them yet. Sorry!
your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
short stories from life. [masterlist]
Everything was getting out of control, or maybe that's how it was supposed to be. Maybe he had already forgotten what it was like to lose control over himself, to be carried away by the moment and emotions, when instincts take over you, when you're a little selfish. Now it was all happening at once and Joel felt like a hurricane was raging in his body.
Your lips tasted of sweet wine, he felt the curves of your body under his hands, your fingers were intertwined in his hair. And he felt amazing.
You were sitting astride his lap. The dress you were wearing was rolled up enough so that Joel's hands had access to your thighs.
Holy shit! Everything he had closed so tightly years ago was now exploding with new force.
He invited you to dinner, to spend the evening as if the world outside the walls of Jackson hadn't gone crazy, and you were just two people close to each other. When you showed up at his door in that dress, Joel believed that this could really happen.
You looked different than usual. You were a little embarrassed, it had been years since you last wore something nice. Joel's reaction was also specific, he was totally surprised and had a hard time greeting you.
And now you were on this couch, and his tongue was deep in your throat. Big, strong hands squeezed your buttocks, and you moaned feeling the hard bulge in his jeans under you.
"Wait." he whispered, pulling away from your lips for a moment, his hair was already a total mess from your hands. "Are you sure you want this?"
"Joel..." you sighed, smiling. "Do you think I would wear a dress if I wasn't sure?"
You saw him swallow. The last parts of his brain were trying to fight something he wanted so badly. He saw your glazed eyes, swollen lips, you were breathing deeply and your chest was heaving gently.
"Don't you like me?" Your question tore him from his stream of thoughts.
He grabbed your hand and slid it between your bodies where his hard cock was trying to get out of his jeans. You smiled and bit your lower lip feeling the hard shape under your fingers.
"That's a nice compliment." you stated "Please, Joel... I've been thinking about you for so long. Don't make me wait."
"Were you thinking about me?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.
"I didn't want to tell you anything though. We were friends, partners. Besides, Ellie was with us. I didn't want to, I didn't want to say something that you wouldn't reciprocate, and I would ruin what we had."
"Fuck, darling." he sighed, with difficulty pulling your hand away from his crotch. Just a little more and he would have exploded into his jeans like a fucking teenager. "I- I thought about you too. So many times..."
"Did you touch yourself then?" he looked at you surprised. "Once, when you were on watch, I woke up and I think I heard you. I didn't want to disturb you, but then I heard my name and..."
Joel cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess I did. It's embarrassing."
"It's sexy." you corrected him and kissed him hard so he would definitely believe your words. "Take me to your bed, Joel."
You didn't have to repeat it a second time.
Although Joel had seen you naked before, he had never seen you like this. His eyes took you all in. When the dress fell to the floor, his heart stopped for a moment, then started racing.
"What do you think?" you asked uncertainly.
He was unable to answer, his voice caught in his throat. Instead, his hands rested on your face and he kissed you hard. Your fingers unbuttoned his shirt and soon moved to his chest.
Joel couldn't remember the last time someone had touched him like this. Gently, with feeling. Your closeness and tenderness were peeling off layers of him, and it wasn't just about clothes.
You stumbled backwards and your legs hit the edge of the bed. Joel slowly laid you down, and then his eyes moved over your entire body.
"Stunning." He said quietly, and you could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth.
He slowly unbuckled the belt on his jeans and slid them down, his dark eyes never leaving your face. Without a word, his hands reached for the edges of your panties and slid them too.
Your skin was already so sensitive that every touch of his was felt by you even more strongly. You had never felt anything like this before.
Joel climbed onto the bed and closed you between his broad shoulders. Your lips found each other again. The heat radiating from his body was overwhelming and you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame. You wanted to feel him next to you, on you, inside you, in every way possible.
Only him.
Kisses went down to your neck and cleavage, you moaned softly as he squeezed your breast.
"You're perfect..." he whispered "So fucking perfect..."
"Joel, please..." you moaned.
You needed anything to help you, to give you relief, from the growing arousal between your thighs. And he gave it to you. The same hand slid down your hip and found your hot center, you were already wet and slippery with desire.
"For me?" Joel smiled slyly, and you felt the heat creep up your neck.
"Please..."
The colossal fingers slid over your folds and soon you felt a pleasant pressure as they slid into your heated core.
"Fuck, baby..." Joel looked in awe where his fingers disappeared inside you "You wrap them so well. I can't wait to be inside you."
You couldn't answer. The feeling was overwhelming, you would never be able to give yourself something like that. Joel's fingers seemed to find all the spots in you that made your head spin. You gasped as his warm lips captured your nipple, sucking hard. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling it harder than you intended. You were so close...
"I'm holding you, baby girl." his warm breath on your sternum "Let it go."
He lightly bit your other breast, his fingers sliding in and out of you harder and harder and soon you were tightening your legs around his hand as the pleasure flooded your body.
"Fuuuuck!" you moaned, arching your back.
Joel had never seen you more beautiful. He wanted more. To see, to feel, to taste, to experience. With you.
He slid down his boxers, and his hard, swollen cock appeared in full. Joel grabbed it at the base and rubbed your juices along its entire length.
"It's been a while." he said, noticing your gaze. "I can...fuck... I might not last long."
"I don't care, Joel." you said. "I want to feel you. This is enough for me. I want you to cum too."
The head of his cock brushed against your entrance. For a moment you felt anxiety whether he would fit, whether you would be enough for him, but then you felt him start to slide into you. Inch by inch.
Your walls stretched and took him inside, your hands tightened around his strong shoulders. When Joel entered all the way, you both froze for a moment. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, breathing deeply.
"Fuck..." he sighed "I didn't expect this, give me a moment."
"Take as much as you need." You replied, stroking his shoulders. "You feel wonderful. You fill me completely."
After a short moment, his hips moved. He pulled out a little and pushed, as if to see if he could hold out. You pulled your legs up, and he tightened his grip on your thigh, then lifted his head and looked straight into your eyes. You didn't need words.
Joel's movements were steady, aimed straight at that spot he found inside you, that made you fall apart under his hands. He wanted to see it again, he wanted to feel you clenching around his cock now. Your panting mixed with the dirty sounds of skin slapping against skin, with how wet you were as he entered you at that steady pace.
You pulled his face to yours, kissing him hard. A hot tongue slipped between your lips and you moaned, but he silenced you well. He hit you harder, the air flew out of your lungs. Again and again.
You woke up everything in him, between your thighs he could find fulfillment and redemption, he wanted it all, and you gave it to him with pleasure.
Another orgasm was building inside you incredibly fast.
"Joel..." you moaned.
He rested his arms on either side of you and didn't slow down. His eyes were black as night, he wanted to see you lose yourself in him again. He needed it.
"Give it to me again, baby. Don't hold back." he panted.
You didn't have a chance to answer. Another wave flooded your body and all your senses. Your eyes rolled back, you almost bit your lip. Joel didn't slow down, even though he was already close to the edge.
"Fuck!' he groaned loudly and pulled out of you.
His seed spurted onto your lower abdomen in hot streams. Although he was breathing deeply, he felt like he was constantly out of breath. He squeezed his eyelids shut trying to calm down. Only your delicate hand, which rested on his cheek, brought him back to life.
"Shit, baby..." he mumbled "I'll clean it up right away. I didn't think that... That was..."
You lifted yourself up and kissed him, and Joel returned the kiss with pleasure. You felt the smile that appeared on his lips and you smiled to yourself.
This was it. This was the guy who was always there for you, who always gave you his arm as support, who shielded you with his body, who was there for you. He was everything.
His heart gave a strange throb when, going downstairs, he heard familiar chatter in the kitchen. Ellie was delighted with something and was telling you about something, and the pleasant smell of breakfast and coffee filled the house.
His clean shirt clung to his still damp body, and his hair was still wet, even though he had combed it back. When he woke up next to you in the morning, he couldn't help himself. You were still a bit sleepy when he slid into you, but you welcomed him with pleasure.
It was slow, tender and gentle. He imagined mornings like this when he allowed his thoughts to be carefree for a moment. After everything, he pulled you into the shower, where his hands shamelessly explored your body. He didn't know the words to describe what he felt.
When he went down to the kitchen, Ellie's gaze immediately landed on him. A victorious smile appeared on her face.
"I see the evening was a success." she said, and seeing Joel frowned, she quickly added "Can you still do these things, old man?"
You barely managed to stop yourself from bursting out laughing and were glad that you were standing with your back to Joel, making him coffee. Ellie was probably going to give him hell.
"That's none of your business, kid." Joel grumbled.
"I hope you're wrapping yourself up, because I'm not going to babysit your kids." she added. "You have to be a fucking responsible adult, Joel."
"Can you... Fuck!"
You quickly turned around and put the cup of coffee in front of him, giving him a gentle smile. Ellie looked at both of you and shook her head.
"I think I'll go now." she said, standing up and putting the last piece of toast in her mouth. "The atmosphere is getting stuffy."
"It's not getting stuffy at all." Joel replied, but she was already putting on her jacket.
"Wrap yourself up!"
"Ellie!"
The girl smiled at him widely, seeing that she hit all the soft spots and quickly gathered her things. Soon the front door slammed and her footsteps echoed on the porch.
"Don't be mad at her, she loves to tease you." you said seeing Joel roll his eyes "She was happy to see me here this morning."
"The house was empty without you, she wasn't the only one who missed your presence."
He walked up to you, his hands resting on your waist. You were wearing some of your old clothes and he wished it was yesterday's dress. You looked so good in it.
"I'm glad you stayed," he said.
"Me too." you replied stroking his cheek, he kissed the inside of your wrist tenderly and you smiled "Are you hungry? I made breakfast."
"Come back here." Joel interrupted you, a small wrinkle appearing between your eyebrows "Move back here. I don't want another morning without you, it was torture."
"Joel..." your lips lightly brushed his "Are you sure? Maybe we shouldn't..."
"I'm fucking sure. Listen, I've wasted a lot of time. I don't want to do this anymore. When you left..." he sighed as if he remembered something really bad "It wasn't just this house that was empty, you know."
"I felt the same way. I was hurt, but I couldn't stop thinking about you or Ellie. You're all I have."
"So come back to us. To me. Please..."
Your smile was the answer he needed. He leaned in, kissing you hard. That day, he felt like he was finally alive.
☆☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi
#joel miller#pedro pascal#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x reader#short stories from life
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psst
if u have time pls do a continuation of the Yandere d-16 and reader but somehow he finds the reader when he’s Megatron and this time HE tops
Yandere!Megatron/Reader [TFO]
tw: ROBOTS sexxx (minors don't read please), possesive behavior, mentions of jealousy, brief violence/threats, biting, word count: ~1,2k additional tags: dom!Megatron, sub!reader, decepticon!reader, idol!reader, cybertronian!reader. a/n: it's not like /megs/ finds reader here but the other way around (ig) hehe.
The news of the sudden death of Sentinel Prime had reached you suddenly. Another ordinary, simple day, as it seemed back then. You were used to living in comfort and coziness, after all, from the moment you were born, you were special. At least, you couldn't help but feel that way in a privileged society.
Now, thinking about it, a feeling of pity and wrongness overwhelms your thoughts. It was no surprise that those who were unlucky enough to be born with t-cog had no choice but to dedicate their entire existence for the greater good of your entire race.
Standing humbly behind the decepticon leader's back, you only gave a silent glance in his direction. How much had he managed to endure? What exactly did he have witnessed that day when he went from an obedient and shy D-16 to...
“Why are you still here?” a deep, gravelly voice suddenly yanked you out of your thoughts.
For a moment, you didn't know what to answer. Was it that important? No, you never noticed him asking the same question to the others.
“To fight alongside you, Megatron,” you quickly replied, your arms kept hidden behind your back, like a well-trained soldier.
A soft, almost inaudible huff escaped from his lips as he shook his helm in mild frustration. He slowly turned around to bore his own red optics into yours. Weren't they orange? You didn't recall.
“That's not what I asked you,” Megatron narrowed his optics, his gaze still as stern. “You know what I'm talking about.”
You tilted your helm down, as if in submission or simply unable to maintain eye contact with him. Either way, an ominous feeling of regret continued to grow inside you, despite how often you tried convincing yourself that it was never your fault.
Funny, isn't it? It seemed like a while ago, here were the two of you right next to each other. His smaller, so small but never fragile frame, was so tender in your servos.
The chassis was completely tarnished in little bruises and scratches, yet it was always a pleasure to gently run your servo over the surface of the silver metal, feeling how the mech beneath you could only bite his fist in a desperate attempt to not make a single sound.
But now, everything seems so different, strange perhaps, but at the same time in its own way familiar. Above you now is a different person; to deny that would be foolish, if not pointless.
The frame is wider, much bigger, than you can remember. The chassis is now peppered with a lot of scars after numerous battles in which you can only feel sorry for every opponent he's faced. All stained in energon, the pink liquid slowly oozing out to smear your own frame. You know it doesn't belong to him.
“Mine, you're all mine,” his servo tightening around your wrists, pinning them both above your helm.
Megatron's heavy breathing made a pleasant shiver run along your spine, and almost instinctively, you pressed your hips against his own.
Everything felt so hot now, so suffocating, that you were barely hanging on to keep from passing out. His chassis only pressed you down further, taking away any chance you had of escaping.
You wish you could tell him so much now. That now, all in his power, you would have never dared to leave him at a moment like this. You would take whatever he would choose to give you, even though he was still inexperienced with controlling his own power.
The thoughts of the past fight gave Megatron no relief. It seemed that the more he focused on the past, the more he wanted to lash out with all of his pent-up anger at you. And you would take it, wouldn't you? You'd always come back and beg for more.
His servo squeezes your thigh, stroking and massaging, then, moves only lower to forcefully spread your legs. Your interface panel was open long ago, presenting him your soaking wet port. Getting off on this as much as he is, what a freaking pathetic duo you both are. That is why you have always been perfect for him, he thinks.
With a rough thrust, Megatron buries his spike inside you to a halt; the way you squeeze around him, writhing in pain and pleasure, is a godlike sight for him. Primus, he should have done that a long, long time ago. If only he wasn't so meek and weak-willed back then, but now he's thankful for it.
He lets out a low, guttural growl as he slams his hips against yours once again, receiving a soft whine. A small, still sensible part of him restrains himself to ruin your body more. That deep-rooted care and desire, genuine love, still makes him act all soft with you. It tells him to leave more kisses, to shower you in that love and care he grew for you for cycles from only observing.
Megatron grits his teeth at the thought. Acting soft and weak already cost him enough suffering in the past. Making the same mistakes again will only show off how little he changed since that day...
He tastes the energon on his glossa, leaving a cold, wet trail of saliva on your neck, only to be followed by a sudden bite, which makes you gasp in surprise.
It was a miracle that no one had entered the room by that time, with none of you trying to hide your gasps and moans from the potential listeners. Perhaps, they already found out; even Starscream, with how often he comes here to complain and grumble about everything, doesn't dare to bother Megatron at the moment of raw need, adrenaline rushing through the whole frame.
Your soft moans are music to Megatron's mind. Every single time you let out his name, breathlessly asking for more, only makes him pepper your neck in wet kisses, more of those bleeding marks forever marking your body. That is how it should be, how it always should have been. You underneath him, so beautiful and perfect, and the most important, this way everyone will know that you are his.
He had grown tired of competing for your attention since when he was a miner. Every day of hard work, daydreaming about you, of you finally noticing him instead of attending another race, with countless of other Iaconians showing their love for you. He would not make any more mistakes.
His, his and only.
“If you ever think of leaving me,” Megatron leans his helm closer to you, burying your face into the crook of your neck. “I will find and kill you with my own servos.”
What you said to him that day never left the mind of the leader of the decepticons. And it seemed that from that moment on, your relationship with each other took on a very different direction.y
Who knew that the threat of your own execution by no one else, but Megatron, would sound so hot to you?
#yandere x reader#transformers x reader#transformers one x reader#megatron x reader#yandere transformers one#yandere transformers x reader#yandere transformers#tw yandere
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I shall tell you a secret about your wool, your cashmere, the delicate fainting fabrics two whom heat is a death knell.
Necromancy is real.
Also, your dead wool may be better for it.
Also-also nobody here has actually said how to clean it without killing it so I'll add that too.
So - within reason, the doll's jumper is not going back to an adult, but hear me out here.
If you have washed your jumper a tad too warm, or on a normal wash setting, and perhaps it is now of a more suitable size for a child, a lot of the shrinkage may be caused by felting.
Felting is when the wet fibres, with the scales that make up the outer layer lifted by detergent and heat, lock to each other like tangled christmas lights. The more you agitate them, the more felted they get. This is why the delicate cycle on your machine doesn't so much churn up your woolens as it does let them soak and gently wavepool side to side occasionally to circulate the water.
Felted or boiled wool has no gaps. When all of the fibres have locked together it is windproof, nearly waterproof, and will never unravel. You can cut a hole in felt and it will only get bigger if you tear it bigger. Depending on the degree of felting it may be thicker now too.
With that out of the way, what is the necromancy side of this?
Well, if you get it wet again, depending on the level of felting, your wool will stretch right back out.
If you see a new wool garment, you'll see the washing instructions say "reshape when wet". This is because just like your hair, if you let it dry in a funny position it'll stay that way. We've all accidentally let one dry on a radiator or over a corner and ended up with a very odd shaped bit of fabric.
Felting is just a very funny position for wool. It's basically matted, wet hair.
I've seen recommendations for using hair conditioner and other products here to help loosen it up, which I haven't tried - certainly give it a go, especially if your jumper is more delicate or only a little felted. It may come back to life with no/very little further intervention. I've had great results with sheer brute force.
Disclaimer: I am a limp noodle and my idea of "pull hard" is not the same as everyone's.
Get that jumper absolutely drenched in your solution of choice (I do it after a wash so woolite, there are lots of guides and recommendations online for best results), grab it on opposite sides and pull. Enlist a friend for even better (and more even) results. Pull in the direction of the knit and across the knit but not diagonally if you can avoid it.
There will probably be concerning ripping noises if there's any more than a tiny bit of felting, like velcro pulling apart. It's fine. Keep pulling. (Steady pressure, don't yank)
Don't forget to do the arms in both directions too, you want them wide enough to get your own arm back inside them.
Stop when your clothing is the size and shape you want it to be. You can even try it on to be sure and wear it like shrink-to-fit jeans since wool is marvelously insulating and will be warm even when wet once you get over the problem of putting on a cold wet jumper.
Now, this is not a total fix - if you only a little shrunk it, it'll be good as new. If you shrunk it a lot it's probably gone down a couple of sizes even after you've stretched it back out like you're trying to tear it in half. You also need to remember to do this after every time you wash that particular garment. But hopefully some of you will save and wear some beloved items that you thought were gone forever.
Have fun!
Oh, and to clean your wool: -Pick up a wool-specific detergent (I use Woolite, there's lots) - and either
a) bung it in your machine on a delicates/wool cycle and be done with it, reshaping whilst wet and drying flat so the weight of it doesn't stretch it in funny ways over your airer (do not tumble dry, see felting above) or
b) hand-wash, which is a whole lot of swishing and squishing it about in a sink or bucket with the detergent and water at a comfortable temperature for you to stick your hands in. Avoid scrubbing on or with anything (no brushes, no stain remover balls, none of that) and if you have a stubborn spot grab two sections of the fabric and rub on each other like you're charging a defibrillator - as little as you can manage until spot is gone or you start to worry about the texture changing (felting again). A scrub with your hand from the inside can also sometimes get a stain loose by forcing the detergent up behind it and if you do felt it it's not as visible. Rinse a lot and wring out hard, then reshape and air dry it flat.
Here, a cheater course on caring for natural fibers!
1. Wool. Treat it like it has the delicate constitution of a Victorian lady and the conviction that baths are evil of a 17th century noble. (If I get in WATER my PORES will OPEN and I will CATCH ILL AND DIE.)
2. Cotton; easygoing. Will shrink a bit if washed and dried hot.
3. Silk; people think it’s like wool and has the constitution of a fashionably dying of consumption Victorian lady, but actually it’s quite tough. Can be washed in an ordinary washer, and either tumbled dry without heat or hung to dry.
4. Linen; it doesn’t give a shit. Beat the hell out of it. Historically was laundered by dousing it in lye and beating the shit out of it with wooden paddles, which only makes it look better. The masochist of the natural fiber world. Beat the fuck out of it linen doesn’t care. Considerably stronger than cotton. Linen sheet sets can last literal decades in more or less pristine shape because of that strength.The most likely natural fiber to own a ball gag.
#how to fix your wool#this is also how you get your knitting to be its intended shape if it's gone curly or a bit wonky. Wet and pin it to a board (blocking)#How to wash your wool#Also you can felt things on purpose. I have some deliberately shrunk large jumpers that are now small but twice as thick#Many secondhand jumpers are a few sizes smaller than their label and can be kept as-is or unshrunk at home
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Dialtown is the most USA-core game I've ever played. It's so fucking American that it's scary, and I've lived there my entire life! Like, this feels fundamentally tied with the game's themes and narrative, that's how extreme it is. And it's not even alienating OR nationalist?? It makes such genuine commentary? And then there's so much other shit to think about too; Dialtown has a very real identity outside this that anyone could love?
One: I am VERY impressed that you have done the USA and its people this well. I am actually astounded, bewildered, and chuffed. I've never felt so seen by a video game, culturally-speaking. I didn't even know there was a culture to see.
Two: WHY did you do that. Dialtown is like USA Culture Absurdified: The Visual Novel. What drove you to make a game this rich with American culture and ideas???
Hello!
It would've been odd for an outsider (non American) who enjoys reading up on history to make my setting nationalist or alienating. America is a country with a lot of serious issues. You can't really study how America is (and has been) internally run without facing glaring and obvious systematic issues. DT's setting is one of scarcity and most of the main characters you follow in DT are kinda just scraping by without much hope for true mobility/advancement. A lot of Americans (especially younger generations) would agree this sorta encapsulates the national mood of the country right now.
Of course, the systems that run a country don't define its citizens - many of the finest people I've ever known are American and are victims of the whims of those with power, not willing participants in this system. I could be wrong, but that's why I think the setting connected with a lot of people. We all know Randys, Olivers + Karens, people who've fallen through the cracks in some way. To them, America's spirit of self-determination isn't about individual identity - it's more "you're on your own."
Why I chose to set DT in America would be a novel length answer in of itself, but it mainly came down to history + narrative opportunity. I wanted to set the game in the epicenter of where the phone-revolution came from and Crown likely couldn't have pulled his plan off anywhere else and probably not during any other time. It had to be 1960's America.
Of course, some parts of DT are sorta universal and were inspired by the the Great Recession and what followed. I remember there was an area not that far from my house that was full of green fields when I was born and when I was a kid (and when real estate boomed), stuff started being built there. Parts of it looked really nice, not quite like anything nearby. Like the future was coming. Then the economy crashed and stuff was left sitting there, half-built for like a decade. Skeletal, unfinished buildings. DT is much the same.
There's a feeling that the city could've been something better and while things could be more equal, it does feel like there are no easy solutions to fix everything - unless someone very smart and determined somehow bypassed every safeguard that was set up to halt radical change and enacted a genius plan to somehow eliminate scarcity. It happened once and might never again.
I don't think most people understand the intricacies of stuff like global commerce all that well (myself included), but when you're sitting looking at a half built neighbourhood mere hours after speaking to a friend who just kicked out of rented accommodation and doesn't have a stable family unit to fall back on, you'd have to be a real dolt not to understand that things aren't great right now. Most people are scraping by and feel if they could just get affordable housing locked down, if they had maybe one good opportunity - maybe there's hope that things could change for the better.
The end of DT isn't really utopian, things don't massively change for the better and indeed, the town has a lot of rebuilding to do. But, a collection of lonely people are now looking out for each other and through the relationships they have, now feel like they have a place in this world. That no matter how bad things really get - they aren't truly by themselves anymore. Most individuals don't have the means to significantly advance change on their own - but you can live your life, love those around you and support others and plan for when the opportunity to affect change comes about.
I guess that's what life is, in America or anywhere else. Sorry I rambled for so long. Hope this answered the question!
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synopsis. just building cats out of bricks with satoru gojo.
a/n. it came to me in a dream....... ( first time writing for gojo and I'm . a bound of nerves 😵💫😵💫 but my inner demons worked hard..... and there's something so comforting about building lego sets around Christmas.......TT. anywayy,, as usual I'll proofread as soon as I wake up! happy holidays everyone <3)
just thinking about assembling building blocks together with satoru gojo. it's an unusual evening, unplanned and beyond the closed window the city is still bustling under the first caresses of snow.
the cold can't touch you, here. he made sure to put the heater on when you stepped on the threshold of his house and a blanket eventually found its way to you once the coat got discarded on the faraway corner of the sofa.
unplanned. like the black and yellow cardboard near the coffee table or the white, numbered paper bags you were opening after finishing a piece of the entire structure. one at the time. you suppose that ending up at satoru's place and building lego was not something you'd imagine yourself doing in one of december's seemingly never-ending afternoon. but the tv is on with some christmas-themed romcom, satoru's long limbs are shoved under the small coffee table you were set to use as a building headquarter and the heater's nice.
it was supposed to be a gift, you believe, but on the box there has never been a specific address or some kanji with a name, nor it was wrapped like any other christmas gifts. it was there, annoyingly on display for everyone to see and it became an impromptu gift with no recipient.
"and so you bought it?" satoru repeats again, throwing a glance to the instructions once again before placing the brick on the semi-stable structure he was assembling. "it seems like I'm becoming a bad influence to you, huh"
you don't grace him with an answer— too busy trying to put together all the pieces of the ninth bag. the pieces fit perfectly with each other, and after a while the cat became more than discernible. satoru didn't try to maintain the conversation, now entirely sucked in whatever platform he had to build.
the clock on the wall kept going, but its ticketing fell on deaf ears. you couldn't help but glance at him; satoru was focused but his eyes betrayed his boy-ish intrigue to the blocks. it felt weird in a sense, to being a witness of such a moment. the pieces were smaller than his pinkies, and you've noticed that sometimes his nails would get in the way while pushing a block onto another one. surprisingly he seemed to really like it, and not just following your rhythm absentmindedly.
(but you suppose that's satoru specialty, surprising you. and it has happened more times that could be counted on your fingers, lately.)
a beat. you return to your piece but soon enough the moment to put all of that together happens and you're left wondering after a whispered "I don't remember building lego before" leaves his mouth. a confession of sorts that has your stomach turn in knots before you could even blink. you don't think you were supposed to hear it in first place, as his eyes still don't dare to leave the base of the creature made of blocks.
it struck you then how much care satoru actually is putting in his half of the work: he is taking his time to read and follow the instructions where he would've not had the will to keep going— getting easily distracted in any other situation; delicately fitting the pieces of this cat-sized puzzle deep in concentration, with his tongue peeking out once a peculiar mechanism demands more attention than anything else. it's not something he's following through just because you asked for him to, but more because he's actually enjoying it.
(enjoying doing such mundane activities with you.)
one, two, three pieces and the cat is done. satoru pushes jokingly the spare pieces towards your side of the table and you wordlessly puts them in one of the bags you've been opening for a while. but there's something wrong, you think eyeing the cat once again, something that makes your eyes squint in concentration. before he could even question (or joke) about what has you frowning so much, you pick the spare pair of eyes from the bag, the blue one, and you replace them to what satoru has picked previously. useless to say, the choice has him pouting at you.
"now, why would you that? brown eyes suited him" he retorts, his chin lying on his crossed arms on the smooth surface of the table. it's probably the third time, in all those years you've known him, that you can see his eyes so clearly without sunglasses or blindfold on.
"with blue eyes it reminds me of someone I know, unfortunately" you shrug, holding on into this staring contest he started first, and it has you feeling dizzy somehow. exposed, even. but his pouts doesn't disappear, it only lasts more which is why eventually leads you to a sigh— and under his amused expression you retrieve one of the eyes to put the blue one. "you happy now?"
"very much, thank you!"
you sigh again, this time more loudly while leaning against the small sofa. then, before you could even ponder the words sitting on your tongue, you ask him: "should we give it a name?"
the smile on satoru's face betrayed his mask once again.
(days later, after one hard mission assigned, megumi would question the presence of the lego cat to which satoru would answer with the proudest look the kid's ever seen on his face: "his name is Taro!")
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#anime x reader#jjk gojo#gojo fluff#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo x reader#satoru x reader#satoru x you#jjk x you#jjk x reader#first time writing for gojo......... kinda nervous...........
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𝓛𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼
Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader (past)
Summary: After last years incident you don't know if you can move on, but Wanda shows you how real love feels.
Word Count: 1.1K
Warnings: Hurt/comfort, Nat cheats
AU: Pietro is alive :D
Author's note: Merry Christmas! I wasn't planning on making another fic for Christmas, but I was listening to Christmas music while wrapping and well here you go~
Snow was gently falling in New York making everything feel more magical. All the decor was up, the tree fully lit at the Rockefeller center and people were bustling more than usual to get their Christmas shopping done.
You were trying to pick a gift out for your secret Santa, Wanda. Tony did this every year for his holiday party. You really weren't in the mood for it this year, but you were trying…after last Christmas things didn't feel as magical.
Last Year
“Come on Tasha! We're gonna be late if you take any longer on your make-up!” You playfully called out. She smirked at you through the mirror.
“Don't worry Detka, we'll make it.” Her sultry voice wrapped around you. You looked her over as she stood; a tight short black dress, tights, heels to match. Her hair was pulled into a fancy braid she'd mentioned the name of earlier, but you couldn't remember it.
The party was in full swing by the time you two arrived. You were in fact upset about it because Natasha knows how you hate to be late because of your anxiety. As soon as you set your gift on the table for secret Santa Natasha was gone in the crowd. Interacting with the boys and Maria. You frowned, but went to grab some finger foods and a drink while you found the twins and Vision. The three of them are talking about experiencing Christmas for the first time.
You sat yourself next to Wanda with the boys across the table on another couch. The four of you talking for a bit before you realized Natasha hadn't come to find you.
A pout covered your mouth as you got up, “I'll be back guys I'm gonna go check on Tasha.” You excused yourself making your way through the crowd of people, looking everywhere until in the corner of your eye, her dress caught your eye. Your head turning and the glass in your hand falling with a sharp crash to the tiled floor.
Natasha was kissing Maria.
You were noticed by many including Natasha who looked like she had regret on her face. Not for the kiss itself, but because she was caught.
You walked out of that party and didn't look back.
Present Day
You got yourself ready, looking over yourself in the mirror and then at the clock. You'd be a little early which was perfect. You grabbed your gift for Wanda. It was perfect for her. It was a few different things.
Tony never had limits on how much to spend. If you got him as your secret Santa you could expect a car or a new place to live.
You got there, hugging Tony with a smile. “I'm surprised you decided to actually come. You even have your gift!” Tony said surprised. You gave him a roll of your eyes.
“Yeah I wasn't sure if I'd come at first after last year I felt sick thinking about it and about seeing her. I gave her my heart Tony…she gave it away. I decided if I did come this year then…I'd give it to someone special…” you explained to him. Tony was like your annoying older brother. You told him a lot of your problems and he was happy to listen.
He gave you another hug, a nice tight one where you could smell his cologne clearly, making your nose scrunch up a bit.
“Go get her.” He whispered before letting go.
It was hours into the party. You'd spent the whole time with the twins. Vision had gone off to talk with Tony at some point and now it was time for secret Santa. You got up, grabbing your gift to Wanda and you were surprised to see she had you as well.
The two of you laughed, deciding to go find her old room in the tower so you two could have a quiet moment to open each other's gifts.
You both sat across from each other, she was cross legged in her usual black skirt and thigh highs, a low cut tank top and a dark gray cardigan fell off one shoulder that she kept fixing. Rings adorned all her fingers, some having multiple. You smiled as you gave her your gift.
“Open yours first Wands.” You insisted, making her giggle which had your stomach doing flips. Biting the inside of your cheek to try to hide the effect the witch had on you.
She opened up the bag that contained a few wrapped gifts.
“You didn't have to get me so much.” She said with her honeyed accent.
“I couldn't decide…they all felt like they were perfect for you.” You saw the barely There blush that covered her cheeks as she refused to look up from unwrapping.
You'd gotten her a new mug that said village witch with a little graphic of a witches hut, the smoke coming out of it a ghost. The next gift was a variety pack of different teas from around the world. The last gift you'd gotten her was a new set of tarot cards.
“Oh y/n! These are amazing and I love them! I can't wait to try the teas and you're getting the first reading with this tarot deck.” She said, leaning forward to hug you tight. “Now it's your turn!” She squealed excitedly.
You smiled, taking the gift from her, opening it up, your jaw dropped. You just stared for a minute, speechless before looking up at her.
“You…you made me a burr basket?” you asked dumbfounded.
You'd asked Natasha for boo baskets and burr baskets and she never got them or made them and it hurt every time.
“Yeah you kept talking about them so I wanted to make you one. I hope I did it right. I watched a bunch of tiktoks on making them and how others had them.” She rambled out.
Tears welled up in your eyes, there was a blanket, slippers, flannel pj's pants, a face mask, eye mask, a little holiday squishmallow, lip balm, your favorite perfume, and some seasonal chocolate.
“W-Wands…I…i don't have words this is…I…” you physically couldn't form words. You looked up at her and realized the only thing you could do to say thank you was kiss her.
You moved the gifts out of the way, crawling forward and letting your lips brush against hers, when she didn't pull away you pushed into her, letting your lips pressed together. Your hand cupped her cheek as her lips started to move against yours.
When you both needed air you pulled back just a little, your foreheads touching.
“I wasn't expecting that as a thank you, but I won't lie…I've been wanting you to kiss me like that since I came to America…” she confessed. How had you not noticed what was right in front of you this whole time?
“Wands…would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” You ask softly.
“I thought you'd never ask.” She practically growled before kissing you again.
This wouldn't be like with Natasha. You knew this was different. You could feel it.
She was your someone special.
#Ley writes#ley writes one shots#ley speaks#ley writes#ley writes series#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x fem!reader#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x female reader#wanda maximoff x you
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does sugar have many other friends besides lola and frankie? also, not sure if you’ve answered this before but what happens to both sugar and lola after the events of drop out, do they stay together? have they ever faced any issues in their relationship before/after the events of drop out and approx how long have they been together for before sugar asks lola to go with her?
no. not even internet friends
they get married eventually
everyone faces issues in their relationship so i guess probably but nothing that significant after drop-out, which they kind of pretend didn't happen post-canyon until the side comic "do you still think about it". lola is averse to conflict and tries to be open-minded and easygoing and sugar is averse to conflict specifically with lola, so she quickly backs down in anything even remotely resembling a disagreement between them. i don't think sugar even feels resentment about it because any time she submits it's like hitting the release valve on some steam under serious pressure in the guilt engine she runs on. it just works out well for them.
it's been almost 10 years so i don't remember. i want to say 9 months-ish based on the fact that they had had sex by that point and sugar is not really the kind of person who just rips her clothes off as soon as she brings a girl home, and the fact that lola was sleeping over at sugar's place frequently, but she wasn't "living there" yet. like it wasn't abnormal for lola to just not come over without explanation, but she probably would have stayed there pretty consistently once she felt comfortable because shelter > no shelter. they clearly had an attachment to each other by drop-out. but we also know that they knew each other in the winter, and drop-out doesn't take place until midway through the next year in the summer, so that would be at least 6 months, and they'd been seeing each other prior to the winter side comics, but not for long enough for sugar to have mentioned it to her therapist before. i know factually the first time that they interacted with each other was when it was cold outside. lola did not have a phone when they first met iirc so i can imagine a month or two where they would go a couple of weeks in between coming in contact, then a period of more regular "dating" kind of contact, and then obviously 6 months out to drop-out. maybe 7 months for the actual period where they were together? literally trying to perform an autopsy on the story here--
#not art#ask#asks#feel free to comment if you remember the exact amount of time i said they were dating i guess
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MY ONLY DAUGHTER
| The true heir to the Iron Throne looked at the newborn baby in her arms with pure love in her eyes, "My only daughter, my sweet little girl. I will not let anyone touch even a hair of your hair. No one will dare to hurt you. I will ensure that their laughter spreads throughout the Seven Kingdoms. Your mother will be with you until her last breath, my beautiful Daena." said.
Although the laughter of Rhaenyra Targaryen's only daughter, Daena, spread throughout the Seven Kingdoms, no one heard them as much as her cries of pain.
| the first chapters will be about the childhood of Daena and the others. |
chapter 1 | Queen's Delight
"I hope it's a girl," little Daena said as she gently caressed her mother's belly. There was a childish innocence in her eyes and a confident smile on her lips. "I don't want any more brothers. Boys are too loud and rude."
Rhaenyra laughed loudly at her daughter's words, her voice filling the warm atmosphere of the room. She reached out and caressed Daena's soft cheek. "If it's a girl, would you like to name her?" she asked.
Daena's eyes suddenly sparkled with excitement. She was practically jumping on the spot, and with her little hands clenched into fists, she let out a little scream of victory. "Yes, yes! I'd love to!" she shouted. "I want her name to be Daenys. It's almost the same as mine! That means she'll be different from me, but she'll also be mine."
Rhaenyra admired her daughter's logical yet childish way of thinking. "You'll be a wonderful big sister, Daena," she said tenderly, her hands running through her daughter's hair. Daena's hair was another subject of admiration for her. While her brothers Lucerys and Jacaerys had completely black hair, Daena's was a masterpiece with silver strands dancing in the black. And that single, bright wisp of Targaryen yellow… to Rhaenyra, it was a symbol of her daughter's unique heritage.
“But,” Daena said, suddenly serious, her brows turning into a thoughtful expression. "If it's a boy, I still want to name him."
"Really?" There was a secret curiosity in Rhaenyra's voice. "So, what do you have in mind, my beautiful girl?"
"Aemon," Daena said confidently. "It's not compatible with my name, but it's still a beautiful name. It seems like a strong and noble name to me. Besides, we'd be honoring my grand-grandfather's name, wouldn't we?"
Rhaenyra was surprised that her daughter made such a mature suggestion beyond her age. A caring smile spread across her lips. "Aemon is truly a beautiful name. Your choice is noble," she said, shaking her head slightly.
Meanwhile, the door slowly opened and one of the maids entered, embarrassed to have to interrupt this special moment between the princess and her daughter. "Princess, your lesson will start soon. We need to go," she said, bowing her head slightly.
Daena's facial expression changed suddenly. Her previous joy had given way to distress. “Mom,” she began, pursing her lips and putting a playful pleading tone into her voice. "I don't want to go. Can I skip classes for today, please?"
Rhaenyra was used to her daughter's dramatic behavior. But she still spoke gently and firmly. "You promised me that you would never neglect your studies, Daena. Do you remember?"
Daena thought for a moment and then frowned, "But if I leave, that stupid Aegon and Jace will make fun of me again!" she burst out. In addition to anger, a tear appeared in her eyes. "Only because I don't have a dragon! I don't have a dragon and they're throwing it in my face!"
Rhaenyra's heart sank. She knew how deeply her daughter felt the burden of not having dragons, which was the Targaryen inheritance. But she still spoke in a soft and supportive tone in response to her anger. "The next time Syrax lays an egg, you will be able to choose your own egg. It is your right and no one can interfere with that. I promise you."
However, these words did not satisfy Daena. "I don't want any eggs," she grumbled peevishly. "I want a dragon. Just like Dreamfyre! A big and powerful dragon!"
The little girl jumped up from the chair she was sitting next to her mother and headed towards the door with angry steps. Her small shoulders rose and fell angrily.
Rhaenyra let out a long sigh after her daughter. She knew that Daena's anger wasn't just about not having a dragon. Her siblings' mockery hurt the young girl's pride and damaged her self-confidence. But this stubbornness… this tough personality… Rhaenyra paused for a moment and muttered to herself with a genuine smile, "I don't know whom she got this stubbornness from.."
Then, as she ran her hands over her growing belly, her thoughts turned back to her unborn baby. "I hope you won't be as stubborn as your sister, little thing," she said fondly.
Her fourth pregnancy was more difficult than her previous three. Fatigue took over her body, but despite this, she couldn't wait to hold her little baby in her arms. There was hope in her heart. Just like Daena said, a cute baby girl never hurts. But it didn't matter if he was a boy. The important thing was that they would bring new light to her family.
Rhaenyra fell into daydreaming while caressing her belly. Maybe this could be an opportunity for the baby family to come together. Maybe their children would finally be proud of each other instead of competing with humans. Time would tell.
First of all, this fiction was created with components from both the book and the series. I am neither green nor black. I prefer to love the characters individually instead of keeping a team. I hope you like my fiction. English is not my first language, so feel free to point out my mistakes and ask anything you want.
Daena Velaryon is the second child and first daughter of Rhaenyra and Leanor. So she's only a year younger than Jace. Of course, just like her siblings, she grew up with questions about her 'true blood' for years. And like Aemond, she had no dragon, so she also became an object of ridicule.
That's it for now and I can assure you that Daena will not be riding Cannibal. You're welcome 😽
I also publish my fiction on Wattpad! You can also reach me there with the same name!
#houseofthedragon#hotd#rhaenyratargaryen#daemontargaryen#aegoniitargaryen#aemondtargaryen#daerontargaryen#alicent hightower#rhaenystargaryen#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aemondtargaryenxreader#daerontargaryenxreader#jacaerys velaryon#lucerys velaryon#hotd x reader#aegon x reader#aemond x reader#helaena targaryen#team black#teamgreen#hotd fanfic#aemond#aegon#rhaenyra#daemon#baela targaryen#targaryenoc#targaryen#gameofthrones#asoiaf
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walking in a winter wonderland
AR23
Alessia Russo x Reader
Summary: You and less go to winter wonderland
You smiled up at the taller blonde stood beside you.
"What's the grin for baby?" she smiled back at you.
"I love you Less, you know that right?" in captured by the blue orbs staring down at you. You had decided to take Less to winter wonderland this year and for the first time in what felt like forever England had an actual decent snowfall. So here you two stood staring into each other eyes outside waiting in the line to enter.
"Of course I do. I love you too. So much" She giggled and then leant down to kiss you. Even though you and the striker had been together for over a year now you still got the same butterflies in your stomach whenever her lips touched yours. You weaved your hand into hers and pulled away smiling.
"What do you want to do first?" You crossed your fingers and hoped she would steer clear from the rides. For god knows what reason the blonde seemed to love the terrifying horrific rides they had at fun fairs and popups. The god awful slingshot was her favorite and you swore on your life she would never get you on it. However, you struggle to say no to her. Your girlfriend knowing exactly which tone to use and what way to look at you to make you melt and agree to anything she said. You knew you would find your way onto that monstrosity at some point this evening but hoped to prolong the torture as long as possible.
"I was thinking we could get some marshmallows?" You finally let out a deep breath you hadn't even noticed you were holding and smiled.
"Of course, anything for my star girl" star girl was a nickname you starting using for Alessia back after the 2022 euros. You remember so clearly watching her in the final match and tearing up seeing her with her medal. From that day on the name had stuck.
"Anything?" Less smirked. Normally if the blonde smirked you'd get excited but on this occasion you knew this wasn't just an average smirk this was the look of someone who was going to get you to agree to the hellish ride before even entering Hyde park.
"Babe no." You said firmly.
"I thought you said you loved me?" she pouted. Her first tactic of the night. You knew more would come and honestly wanted to see how far you could push the striker before you doubled down.
"I do but you won't go ice skating with me!" Your one and only attempt to get what you wanted from the night ended up in an eye roll from the blonde.
"So you want me to break my leg for Christmas? Baby you know how clumsy I am!"
"I'll catch you, I'm awesome at ice skating!" you exclaimed proudly hoping the idea of her in your arms would help sway the blondes decision.
"Well I will admit I like the idea of that" she smiled, your tactics working and distracting her from the idea of the ride.
You made it to the front of the line and scanned your tickets and enter. She took your hand and pulled you over to the familiar place where you could toast marshmallows.
"I'll get them" Less smiled and quickly went to get the sticks and the marshmallows. When she returned she handed you a stick and a marshmallow. "Don't get too excited" She laughed remembering your black marshmallow from the last time you two decided to toast them. Ignoring her you stuck the marshmallow into the flamed leaving it there for a second too long until it caught fire. You pulled it out and blew on it until the fire went out and you were left with yet again another burnt marshmallow.
"Whoops" You laughed looking at the inedible thing in your hand.
"Here have mine" She smiled and pushed her stick into your face. You opened your mouth and grabbed the marshmallow off of it.
"God that tastes good thank you" You smiled and leant to kiss her, she could taste the sugar on your tongue.
You both finished up your marshmallows and thankfully you managed to make it through the rest without incinerating them.
"Where to next angel?" Less smiled at you. The blonde wrapped her hand in yours.
"Please please please can we go ice skating? Please Less I know your scared but I promise that I'm here it'll be okay I promise" You looked up to her and widened your eyes stealing her tactics hoping she would break.
"Alright fine. But you're speaking to Renee when I'm in a boot and can't play" She joked. You leant down and kissed her.
"YES THANK YOU" You shouted pulling her over to the ice skating rink.
After you two paid and you got your skates you were on the ice. Alessia clung to the railing barely moving whilst you glided next to her laughing at her.
"Come on Lessi take my hand" you laughed as you reached out your hand to try and urge her off "I promise it's better on this ice!" technically not a lie.
"I really suck at this" she sighed but took your hand nonetheless. You eased her away from the edge and for a good few seconds she stood pretty sturdy without much help needed from you. Suddenly she started wobbling so you took your arm and threaded it around her waist to keep her upright.
"You were right it is easier up here" she started to get more confident and let you let go of her waist so you could skate more freely, choosing to skate around her in little circles. You finished facing her and took her hands and started to skate backwards guiding her and speeding her pace up.
"Trust me" You smiled at her, looking over your shoulder every so often to make sure the route was clear.
"Its not that I don't but we're going very fast," she smiled.
After gaining more confidence she finally let go. As soon as she did though she went toppling to the ground.
"I knew that would happen" she said making no attempt to pull herself up instead she sat on the ice with her arms up. Reluctantly you grabbed her arm and pulled her up and helped her get steady.
“Come on stargirl lets get you onto solid ground” You laughed and led her to the end.
“Where to now stargirl?” You smiled. You knew it was time.
“Well after that horrific fail,” she winked, “can we PLEASE go on the slingshot?” She had that look on her face. The one that made you crumble in a second.
“Lesssss” you whined.
“Pretty please? I'll wash the dishes for a week” and that was it. The striker knew the one thing you hated more than that ride was doing the dishes.
“Make it two and you have a deal.” You felt quite smug
“Really babe? Fine” she kissed you gently and then you two walked over to the dreaded ride.
Finally you reach the front of the line. The feeling of regret pooled in your gut. As you sat in the chair you grabbed less’ hand hard.
“Baby I know you're scared but you're hurting me” She tried to shake away from your grasp and failed.
“ If you can force me on here you can deal with some squeezing” You said bitterly but did release just a little bit, not actually wanting to hurt the blonde.
“Take off in 3,” you felt your grip tighten again “two” lessi squeezed your hand, a small subtle movement to show she was there, “one” you inhaled sharply as the ball you two were sat in got catapulted into the air. You swore you just about passed out but you could feel the blonde next to you keeping you centred.
“ALESSIA MIA THERESA RUSSO I FUCKING HATE YOU” you screamed. The striker just giggled and squeezed your hand.
“I love you baby” You sighed knowing how much this meant to her.
Once the spins and bouncing had subsided you were finally lowered and released onto flat ground. It took a little while to gain your footing again still shaking from the ride as you clung onto the taller girls hand.
“You're so cute when you're scared angel” she laughed
“Can we head back now?” you said with a yawn tired from the long day.
“Of course” She took your hand and you two walked off to the busy tube together.
“I had the best day with you stargirl”
“I had an even better day with you love”
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Hey guys!! this is my first fic I'm a bit nervous releasing it as I've not really written anything before! Enjoy
#woso#woso community#woso x reader#arsenal#alessia russo#awfc#arsenal women#arsenal wfc#woso imagine#woso fanfics
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The recipe for a good apology is:
1) Say sorry, express remorse. Not self-flagellation or regret or how hurt you are by it, which is about you, but sorry, which is about them. It can be really simple. "I'm sorry..."
2) Own what you did specifically. Don't use qualifiers like "sorry if" or "sorry but." This isn't a time to bring up what the other person did; it's a time to state your part in it. "...that I left the lotion out on the counter."
3) Show you understand why it hurt them, even if you think you were justified or didn't do something wrong. The point isn't to be right; the point is to rebalance the relationship between you. "I didn't know you felt like you had to put it away for me every time. I understand how it would be frustrating to feel like you were always cleaning up after me."
4) Tell them how you'll try to change your behavior going forward. Even if you don't think you did anything wrong, it still hurt someone you care about, and you don't want to do that. If it's relevant, ask how you can help solve any problems that were caused by whatever happened. "I don't want you to be frustrated by this, so I'll work on remembering to put the lotion back when I'm done with it."
Sure, you know how to self-flagellate, but do you know how to apologize? Saying "I'm a stupid idiot" is not the same thing as saying "I did something wrong."
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I remember you made that yandere post on wukong and I love reading it !! I was wondering do you have any thoughts on the destiny one or macaque if their were yanderes ? 👀 if not no worries ^^
Merry Christmas ��️ time to show off Destined one, who i believe is scarier than the other two, like they say. The quiet one is the scariest. Also, a lot of you asked for DO soo sorry for the long wait 😭
⋆˙⟡ —CW: dub-con, Somnophilia, exhibition kink, Scent kink, Yandere, non-con, NSFT
Yandere! Destined one
Unlike the other two, he's more of a monkey than them. The things he feels are 10x more worse, justified by his actions that he so called "courting you properly" even if its mostly just him stalking you throughout the day and after that, slowly building your own paranoia to work with him. Yuan fen would stay silent, even as you come at him with rapid eve movements around the room and heaving breaths. He's smart enough to hide how he's the source of all your troubles, your every rant about this so called paranoia thats been bugging you, the feeling of being watched and some objects going missing will help him to improve more on his skill.
"I-ive been feeling paranoid around here... please tell me im not crazy, Yuan Fen.."
Yuan fen is a silent person. His actions speaks more in volume. That doesn't mean he's not using it to his advantage, he's like a monster who's been under your nose all this time. The creature who hides under your bed, like literally. Or sleep beside you, depending on how both you travel. Haven't you felt how tiring your body is despite getting a full 8 hours of sleep? Also, why does your underwear get sticky? Are you that exhausted for your intimate areas to be so.. sore? You don't even wake up when Yuan Fen drapes his arms over you, snuggling closer to your nape until the sun shows itself. Uncovering the dirty deeds he did during his time with the moon and on top of you.
His hands are sticky as he continues to spread his musky scent into your chest, making your sleepy self associate his smell with pleasure. Trailing down his fingers down your hips, spreading your legs and pumping your hole with his long and kneady fingers. He's just making you feel comfortable, dont worry too much. On days where he knows you're lethargic, he'll make sure the sheets beneath you to be dry as he goes on his endeavors. Drinking and lapping up every single drop of your sweet honeyed love nectar, the more activities you do in the day, the more sweet you are in the night.
He'll make sure to be silent, aside from his slurping and gulping the nice opening you let him eat on. Eating you out is like his own way of charging his battery, his own personal ambrosia.
"Dont look at me like that! My hips and back are hurting okay! I thought i already put enough leaves on my side of the bed... ugh"
Yuan fen is a sweet mate, a good friend. He'll make sure to to spoil you rotten with fresh fruits he picked, he thinks about you 24/7, makes sure you feel loved with his oh so sweet gesture of being a gentleman, never letting you touch any doorknob or step on any puddles, Yuan fen who wants your approval despite the dominating attitude he gives soff. Yuan fen who notices you melt every time you hear his voice, each new words he said is purposely deeper than the last. Just to make sure he has you crooning over him while he worships you, an object of his desire with a favouritism of his voice? Oh he'll have fun with it.
Yuan fen who would speak to you more once he's face to face with your trembling thighs, making sure to growl the nastiest and filthiest things the moment his hands and throbbing member came in contact with your puffy hole. You'd be taken aback at how he says such vulgar sentence with a straight face, his eyes held the mad obsession he keeps inside.
"Its okay if you can't talk! Your actions are more than enough"
Yan! Yuan fen is an obsessive and possessive monkey who would do anything to mark you. Conscious or not, he'll make you his. He's smart enough to be the mind relic and quiet enough to do unsuspecting acts without gathering attention. He doesn't care if he's being clingy in front of Unclee Bajie, the celestials or even Erlang. Whoever has the guts to try and woo you, is going to enjoy the last 7 seconds of their life.
Is his hands being around your waist not a good enough sign? Is his smell covering every bits and crevices of yours not enough?? Does he need to spread you open in front of them to show who you belong to? He'll do so if it means they'll understand how unworthy you are to them, but not to him. Oh, never him. You're a perfect being, only fit to be his, only created for him. You're his one and only.
"My. Mate"
#¿ — ask#📖—writings#black myth wukong x reader#black myth destined one#black myth destined one x reader#yandere! destined one#black myth yandere!destined one#yandere! destined one x reader#black myth yandere destined one x reader#destined one x reader#black myth : wukong#black myth sun wukong#black myth wukong#yandere! sun wukong#yandere! Sun wukong x reader
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[12:29 am]
"What do you think you were doing out there?" He looked at you with an unmistakable fire in his eye.
"At the party? I was enjoying myself? All I did was chat with people and grab a few snacks."
"For hours."
"Jeonghan you were literally there with me, you know exactly what I did. I don't understand what this arguement is abou-" your tone was starting to get more stressed as this conversation continued, but that wasn't Jeonghan's goal.
You were resting against the kitchen counter, your arms crossed as you were watching Jeonghan stand in the middle of the living room. He was watching you as your hands started to fidget with the hem of your sweater.
“Darling, it’s never about that. I trust you blindly. It’s about the others.” At this point Jeonghan’s eyes are locked on to yours. His gaze feels almost threatening as he approaches you, a beast stalking its prey. “It’s the way those people look at you. How they talk to you. How they think they have a chance.”
Jeonghan takes your hand in his gently, his eyes never leaving yours and bring the back of your hand to his lips for a soft kiss. His hand then begins to run up your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Travelling past your shoulder, up your neck his hand reaches your face as he holds you by your chin, tilting your gaze slightly higher as he comes closer, pressing himself against you.
“Its the way they don’t know you’re mine.”
You are left speechless as even your breathing fails you. Your look of awe tells Jeonghan everything he needs to know as he smirks.
“You were enjoying all the attention they were giving you darling. I can’t blame them you are an absolute delight. But I can’t help to get a little jealous my love.” He almost whispers against your lips before pulling away.
As he takes a step back it felt like the charm he put you under for the moment snapped out of existence. You take notice of where you are and your reaction to Jeonghan. You are still pressed up against the kitchen counter, both hands now gripping the edge as you held on to every word Jeonghan spoke to you.
You watched him continue to move towards your shared bedroom as you remain frozen in your spot for a few more moments, your soul taking its time connecting your emotions to your brain.
As Jeonghan crossed through the doorway to your bedroom, you quickly turned the lights off in the kitchen and followed him into the bedroom, closing the door behind you.
You set your phone down on your nightstand, keeping a close eye on the movements happening across the room. Jeonghan mirrors your actions and eventually sits on the edge of the bed, beginning to undo the top few buttons of his shirt.
You slowly move to sit next to him on the bed, facing him. One of your hands moves to cover his hand with yours, wordlessly offering him help to get ready for bed.
“You know you are the one who is always on my mind, right?”
He smirks again, “of course.”
“And you know no one else matters to me except for you.”
“Always.”
“And that I am yours.”
“The same way I am yours.”
You smile softly as you watch each button reveal more of your life partner, before looking up at him and giving him a soft kiss. As you pull away his hands move down to your waist, pulling you back in even closer this time, manuvering you into his lap.
“I don’t mean to be overbearing, I really don’t. Trust me when I say I trust you blindly. But sometimes I just want the world to know you’re mine. I want them to remember who your heart belongs to.” His words continue to slowly spill as his mouth ghosts along your neck.
“I want them to know whose name you scream,” was the last thing he spoke before he began to softly kiss your neck. Your hands moved to his shoulders, moving under the open shirt to feel his warm skin under your touch.
His lips move up your neck to your jaw, eventually finding your lips once more. “Maybe I just need to remind everyone that you’re mine. And that I’m never letting go.”
#Yoon Jeonghan#Jeonghan#Seventeen#SVT#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#jeonghanx reader#yoon jeonghanx reader#jeonghan svt#jeonghan seventeen#yoon jeonghan seventeen#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan reactions#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen drabbles#suggestive#the brain rot is...bad
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PROJECT EDEN'S GARDEN SPOILERS!
Chapter 1 spoilers
Theory concerning wolfgang's whole deal
Okay so like. His mom's mega dead, right?
"Whoa! Back up! Where the fuck did you get that from?"
Alright sit down, lemme show you something.
Remember the prolouge?
I sure didn't! So I rewatched it!
Take a look.
Wolfgang freaked out over Wenona claiming that Cara was the aggressor, implying her murder was justifiable.
At the time, Damon along with all of us just assumed he was being a lawyer about it and had put himself on the side of the injured party. But I don't think it was that simple.
I think he was having an episode. The only evidence for this in the prologue itself is the in-game acknowledgment that Wolfgang's arguments had shifted to being based on emotion alone. It's literally used for a tutorial!
And he says himself in his FTEs that he doesn't normally conduct himself that way in an actual courtroom. So his freak out wasn't his standard, but he doesn't give a straight answer for why he acted how he did.
But chapter 1 as a whole gave us what was necessary to start connecting some dots.
Have a look.
The blackmail Damon got. The photo of Wolfgang's parents.
Look at his mom.
Now look at Cara.
By no means are they identical, wolfgang's mother has a mole on her face, which Cara lacks, but I want you to note the hair and eye color specifically. Keep it in mind.
Now let's look at the back of the card.
"Like father, like son"
"Beneath a sheep's skin hides a wolfish mind"
The game sorta hands you a part of this. Wolfgang's father did something bad. Something that, allegedly, Wolfgang either has repeated or simply had the capacity to do himself eventually.
So what did Wolfgang's father do?
That much isn't told to us, but from Wolfgang's hallucination induced meltdown, I have an idea.
I think wolfgang's father killed his mother.
Let's get into it.
Starting with his hallucinatory episode.
When Wolfgang initially sees Diana, I think he sees his mother. The way he talks. The way he apologizes to her and calls himself a failure for not being like her. We learn in his FTEs that his mother is the only other lawyer in the family and his sole reason for becoming one himself.
However, when Diana walks over and takes his hand, he switches and becomes angry and violent. Going as far as to attack her with a knife.
I think, when Diana grabbed his hand, either something she said or something she did caused the hallucination to switch from a vision of his mother to the vision of his father.
Suddenly he's no longer sad when he says he's not like the person he thinks he's speaking to. Suddenly he's smiling at the fact he's "not like them." Because he's talking to his father now.
He wants to be like his mother and never wants to be like his father.
The line "bring her back" implies that his father, the person he was hallucinating in Diana's place, took his mother away from him.
And the reason I think that's it, relates back to his smaller scale meltdown during the test trial.
Wolfgang started talking about how it was inexcusable to kill a woman.
Though that could be chalked up to chivalry or what have you, I think there's a much more personal reason as to why he felt so strongly about it.
Because his father's actions were inexcusable.
They weren't self defense.
And witnessing a dead woman who bares resemblance to his late mother be accused of deserving it may have struck a nerve.
The killer for the mock trial had no identity given, making it all the easier for Wolfgang to project his father, or a man like him, onto that blank stand in.
I can paint a scene
Wolfgang in the courtroom as a child, maybe even a witness to the murder, watching as the defense lawyer for his father makes every excuse in the book for him. Claiming that his mother was the aggressor, that she had a weapon, that his father had no choice but to "defend himself" from her attacks.
While, in reality, Wolfgang had seen a very different situation play out. Whether he spoke up and was dismissed for being "too young" or was unable to properly testify due to the traumatic experience that is simply being in a courtroom at all, he was unable to bring his father to justice.
He was unable to do right by his mother.
I think that'd be a pretty good motivator to practically race into law school as a teenager. To become the ultimate lawyer at 22 years old. So he could make up for his previous failures.
I think Wolfgang has been carrying a heavy burden from a very young age. And to return to the "like father like son" comment, I'm willing to call that a misdirection. I think when Wolfgang is implied to have "a wolfish mind beneath sheep's skin" or " being a wolf in sheep's clothing," the actual truth is that he's a deeply emotionally scarred person who has no choice but to force a facade of stability and confidence to push though it all for the sake of those around him and his goals. Basically, he's masking.
So, technically, just like his father, Wolfgang is a mentally troubled man pretending to be okay. And the kidnappers used that misdirection to imply he had sinister intention for pretending just like his father had pretended to be a man his mother could trust. When in reality, their motivations could not be any more different.
Or maybe I'm just being silly. Teehee! 🧡
And a small side note. The word "wolfish" implies intentions other than violence.
Lust, hunger, and greed mostly. Though, I'm willing to sidestep those options cuz Tozu is absolutely the kind of bitch to reword a common phrase to make it sound more flowery only to unintentionally imply some nasty shit.
Wolfgang gives no tells towards being a creep. Not a single Freudian slip left that man's mouth. Not even in FTEs. Grace would have been the killer for chapter 1 if he was like that. They literally shared a bed. And, despite their cute dynamic, if the two had actually done anything canonically, we'd get more obvious tells in the game. Those walls were shown to be pretty damn thin...
There's a bit more under the hood of this theory, but this post is big enough, and all other supporting information requires enough explanation and red string to justify their own posts.
So stay tuned for:
• Further theorizing about wolfgang
• And the possible parallels between wolfgang's hallucinatory episode and Eva's execution
#project eden's garden#project eden's garden spoilers#wolfgang akire#im so proud of this theory. i cant wait for it to be wrong!
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*runs to refill tea (and rum)* I'm back, baby! 😎
(Also, before I come across as some drunk, I'd like to clarify I haven't had a drop of alcohol before pregnancy, so Christmas 2022, whoa... 👀🙈😂)
Clearly having a blast and couldn't imagine a better Christmas than reading one of your amazing stories, friend ❤️
Russell happened to spot the cozy little scene from the doorway. He couldn’t help staring, and trying not to frown. When Colter caught sight of his brother loitering (and that look on his face), Colter tried to hide most of his smile.
Loved that little moment of jealousy there. How do you like tasting your own medicine, Russ? 😂
I absolutely loved their pizza and movie date at home. And they already shared so much with each other 🥹 The fact he felt secure enough to open up to her after this short amount of time says a lot, considering Dory hasn't even told her the story yet. I love them 😭🤍
She did offer, he thought, remembering what you’d said at the hospital. And yet, he hesitated.
Honestly, in this day and age, it's always best to wait for renewed consent (even though I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have minded in the least lol). Loved that he recognized that and hesitated!
You watched him go when he headed across the hall back to Charlie’s room. You sighed and beat your hand against your own forehead in frustration. What the hell am I doing?
Poor girl 😂💕 The morning after is always a tad awkward – especially if everything is still in the balance of will they/won't they and nothing *sexual* has happened yet 😅
“Well hey there, cowboy,” you said, adopting a more sensuous tone. “I had a feeling you’d be packing. What’s that, a .45, or a 38 Special?” Russell’s eyes blinked wide. Then he erupted with deep laughter that made his shoulders shake. Aside from throwing a punch, your brother must’ve taught you something about guns too. “Well thank you, kindly,” Russell said, putting on a bit of a southern drawl, just to tease you. “But you’re about to find out, naughty girl.”
Absolutely adored this exchange! ❤️
Oooof, and that smut may have been my undoing for tonight! Holy hell!!! 😮💨🔥🌶️
“You know, drug dealers aside, Laramie isn’t such a bad place to live,” you pointed out. “We’ve got a movie theater, a couple good outlet malls, a new Tex-Mex restaurant that just opened down the street. I’m gonna have to find a new bar though.”
Again, she's so cute 😆🤍
I do hope they work something out. I don't think Russell would've necessarily taken the "big" step, knowing her feelings on this, if he hadn't planned to try and make it work somehow ❤️
He’d found where he wanted to be.
Perfect ending, friend 🥹💚 (You know I love a bit of drama and angst in an ending lol)
I loved this series so goddamn much! It fit so well with every character and gave so much that the show didn't (like that awesome family reunion of the three Shaws). Can't wait to get into the one-shots over the holidays 😍
Again, the merriest of Christmases to you and your family, Alex! Thank you for always being a wonderful friend 🤍🎄
Every Second Counts - Part 5
Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader
Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him.
AN: I thought about breaking up this chapter into two parts, but for some reason it didn’t feel right. I hope you enjoy the finale! I think this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for…
Word Count: 7K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Fluff, angst and hurt/comfort, ‘90s movie reference, mutual pining and tension, and a strong dose of smut.
💜 Series Masterlist
Part 5: “Damn Worth It”
You borrowed Russell’s cell to call Dory from the hospital. You let her know that Charlie was stable and resting, and that Russell was bringing you home.
You should’ve known that when you two got there, you wouldn’t have the kind of privacy you craved. Colter and Dory were waiting in his car, parked in your driveway. They met you in front of your house, where Dory pulled you into a big, swaying hug. She cried, you cried, and her brothers hung back to watch the warm scene.
Dory pulled back to get a better look at you. She hesitated to touch the bandage above your brow.
“God. Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” you sniffed, wiping at your face. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
Dory actually had your keys. After she handed them to you, you took in a steadying breath, and you unlocked your front door without incident this time. You invited everyone in.
Even though you told her not to, Dory began straightening up a bit for you. She had Russell take out the trash while she washed the dishes.
Meanwhile, you pulled Colter aside in the living room. You led him to sit with you on the couch.
“Can I at least give you $1,000?” you asked. It was all you had left in your savings, but the man had literally saved your brother's life, and yours as well. “I know it’s not much, compared to what your jobs usually get you—”
“Please,” Colter said. He touched your arm. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you and Charlie are safe.”
You teared up all over again, but you gave him a smile and held his hand with both of yours.
“Thank you,” you said.
Russell happened to spot the cozy little scene from the doorway. He couldn’t help staring, and trying not to frown.
When Colter caught sight of his brother loitering (and that look on his face), Colter tried to hide most of his smile. He let go of your hand, patted your shoulder and stood. You followed him to the kitchen, where he went to check on Dory. Russell filtered in behind you both.
“Hey, wanna grab some lunch?” Colter asked his sister.
She gave him a raised brow. “Wow, my brother actually wants to hang out with me instead of rushing off to the next job?”
He gave her an amused look. “I’ve got some time.”
Dory was happy to hear that, but her expression dimmed when she turned to you.
“Would you want to go? Or do you need to rest?” she asked.
“Oh, I need to get cleaned up, and then sleep for about ten years,” you said. “But you go, D. Have fun.”
She frowned. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”
“Well, she won’t be,” Russell chimed in. “I’m gonna hang out here for a bit, clean up and take little power nap myself.”
At that, Dory slowly smiled, both amused and suspicious. Her gaze slid back to you.
“Are you sure?” she asked. You read the double meaning laced in her tone.
“Yeah, definitely,” you said with a smile, and the beginnings of a warm blush. “You guys go ahead.”
There was a knowing gleam to her own smile, but Dory shrugged and gave you one last hug. She and Colter said their goodbyes to their older brother before they headed out. It left you alone in the house with Russell for the first time since this all began.
“Um, you can use the guest bathroom if you want to shower,” you told him. “Towels are under the sink, and feel free to borrow any of Charlie’s clothes if you need.”
“It’s okay, I’ve got a bag in the car with some stuff,” Russell said, tossing a thumb over his shoulder. “I take one wherever I go.”
“Smart,” you nodded. “Very prepared.”
A strange silence stretched between you two, until you couldn’t take it anymore.
“I’m just…gonna go clean up,” you said. “We can order some food after?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” he said. He was amused as he watched you scurry off, after giving him another smile over your shoulder.
Though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a small trill of nerves himself. It brought him a little bounce in his step as he headed out to his car to grab his stuff.
By the time you were done showering and drying your hair, Russell had ordered a pizza (and a side of fries). You padded out into the living room in an old college shirt and pajama shorts. He tried not to linger his gaze on your smooth, bare legs.
“Sorry, forgot to ask if you’d want something else to eat,” he said.
“Pizza is perfect,” you said. At this point, after almost a full day without food, you’d eat sliced bread out of the bag. You gave him a teasing look. “I’d ask you if you wanted a beer, but I’m afraid it’s not up to your standard.”
“Well, that’s okay. I happen to have brought a sample for you, just like I promised,” he said, with that grin of his you’d come to expect.
He retrieved a case of homebrew from his car, but you had to add some ice cubes into a tall glass before you joined him back on the couch. You poured the contents of a bottle into the glass.
“Sorry, I know this is sacrilege, but I can’t drink warm beer,” you said.
“I can’t fault you, though I didn’t really peg you for a pizza and beer kind of girl,” he said. He tipped a swig of beer into his mouth, right from a lukewarm bottle. He was a purist.
You quirked a brow at him and took another bite of your pizza slice.
“Why not?” you asked, after swallowing a mouthful of pepperoni and mushroom.
Russell shrugged. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“No, no. I want to hear this,” you said. “What, because I teach college students?”
Russell looked over at you and leaned on his elbow, resting above his knee.
“You’re a college professor with a handful of degrees,” he said. “I’ve got a GED and a give ‘em hell outlook on life.”
You shook your head at that.
“We’re different. That’s not a bad thing,” you said. “And like my brother, you’ve fought for this country. You’ve saved lives, including mine. I’d say that’s pretty damn special.”
His head tilted at that. He didn’t want to remind you that, just like you saw today, he’d taken lives too. Perhaps just as many as he’d saved. You could debate the quality of those lives, but in the grand scheme of things, he knew what he was. A trained killer.
He rolled his shoulders, feeling a familiar weight.
You didn’t like the pensive look on his face, so you aimed to distract him.
“Want to watch a movie?” you suggested.
Russell inclined his head. “Sure. What you got?”
That was how the two of you ended up finishing the box of pizza and a case of beer while laughing at Tommy Boy, of all things—one of the best '90s buddy road trip comedies of all time. Apparently Russell had never seen it before, but you enjoyed watching him experience it for the first time. He had a deep, infectious laugh that made you laugh just by proximity.
Later in the movie, the reluctant, unlikely duo of Tommy and Richard hit a deer, and tried to transport it in the car. Russell both laughed and cringed when the animal woke up and thoroughly wrecked the car from the inside. You noticed his reaction and nudged him in the arm.
Russell held in a grunt of pain when you unintentionally hit his injured shoulder, bandaged underneath his gray henley.
“What if that was the Chevelle,” you teased.
He cast you a playfully chiding look. “Woman, don’t even joke.”
You laughed and squeezed his forearm in a friendly gesture. But he thought there was more than just friendliness when you shot him that little smile. He decided to take a chance.
“Come ‘ere,” he said. He slid a hand around your waist and guided you closer until you came to lay against his side. You allowed yourself to rest against him, splaying your hand flat against the firm wall of his chest. Your heart tripped up faster, but you also relaxed more fully for the first time since you got home. You let out a long breath, and you used the remote to lower the volume on the movie a little.
“Do you think Charlie will be able to get past this?” you asked quietly. “Think he’ll be okay?”
Russell hummed as he thought back to his conversation with your brother in the hospital. Charlie was still young, but he seemed to realize what he’d done, and what he needed to change. He wouldn’t have volunteered himself for rehab if he hadn’t.
Russell brushed your arm with his thumb. “Well, I think he knows what he needs to do. If he’s anything like you, then he’ll be all right.”
Your mouth tugged upward, though you considered his words with a sigh.
“He hasn’t had it easy,” you said. “He was barely eighteen when our parents died. Suddenly he had to be an adult. In fact, he almost didn’t finish high school. Had to take care of the funeral, had to get a job, had to take care of me…and I didn’t always make it easy on him.”
Russell’s lips curved in light of your faint smile. Then, your expression dimmed.
“He pulled me out of the car,” you admitted. Russell looked down at you.
“You all were there?” he asked.
“My dad was driving. We’d just gone out to dinner as a family,” you said.
You hesitated as the scenes once again filtered through your mind. Some things were hazy. Others, you could see with perfect clarity. You remembered how your parents argued about the best way to get home while the pouring rain beat down overhead, half-drowning out their voices.
You remembered what the flash of a red stoplight looked like through the car window, with streams of water coming down, and a dead leaf stuck to the glass.
You remembered the sound of horns blaring in your ears, the crunch of metal on metal. Your mother’s scream. The feeling of being suspended, and then ricocheted painfully through time and space.
Then the smell of exhaust, and the metallic tang of blood.
“We were heading through a terrible storm,” you said, after letting out a long breath through your nose. “By the end of the night, it was just me and Charlie in the hospital.”
He’d broken his arm, but thanks to him, the only thing you really walked away with were a few cuts and bruises, and the memories of that day. They were like old scars, painful and tender at the touch.
Russell shook his head, his brows knitting together. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” you breathed. “And I’m sorry too. I know you understand what it’s like to lose a parent.”
The movie played on as that new weight settled between you. Russell fell into his own thoughts as he continued to rub your arm in comfort. His own past wasn’t like yours, but he did understand some of your pain.
“How much did Dory tell you about how we grew up?” he asked.
You shifted a bit, so you could see his face too.
“I know your dad took you all to a cabin in some sort of compound in the woods, when you all were still pretty young.”
“He taught us to live off the land. Drilled us, really,” Russell explained, noting your raised brows. “Yeah, he was…well, a paranoid bastard, to be frank. We still don’t know all of why, and what drove him to move us out there.”
“Dory said he was…eccentric,” you said. Russell snorted.
“He was a piece of fucking work,” he said. “Half the time I hated him, if I’m honest.”
That part was hard to admit, even if it was true. Your hand soothed across his chest, more comforting as you listened. Russell’s lips quirked. He liked that about you, that you were willing to listen without judging him, or his family. Maybe that was another reason Dory seemed to love you so much.
“But one night, it was like he snapped,” he said.
For a moment, he was lost in the memory. His father’s anger, and the damn crazy look in his eyes.
“What happened?” you asked quietly.
Russell glanced at you again. “I don’t think you wanna hear this right now.”
You shook your head. “No, I do.”
He hesitated, but that earnest look in your eyes got him. Still, he surprised himself when he actually told you. He explained it the best he could, the way he saw it in his mind’s eye.
Their mom had been missing, hadn’t come home yet. Then his dad had torn around the house like a man possessed, until he told them it was time to leave for their own safety. Dory had been scared, especially when he grabbed her, yelled at her.
That was the one thing Russell couldn’t tolerate. So he snapped, yanking the older man back and shoving him away. It was one of the first times Russell had ever defied his father.
Ashton Shaw left them then, heading out into the night and the rain. Maybe he’d realized what he was doing to his own kids, his own family.
Colter wanted to follow after him, but Russell stopped him. Being the eldest, he took on the responsibility, even if he’d been reluctant. We’re better off without him…
He was barely sixteen at the time, but Russell knew he’d seen his father arguing with someone—a man he’d seen before, talking with his mother. And then…
“I watched him die that night,” Russell said.
Your hand clenched in his shirt, reminding him that you were still in his arms, still listening. He remembered that scene, looking over the cliff to find his father’s broken body down below.
“He fell, and I couldn’t stop it,” he said. “And to this day, I still don’t know what all that was about.”
He’d been reluctant to tell even Colter that it still haunted him sometimes; that night, and the not knowing.
You pulled yourself up further so you could meet Russell’s gaze.
“I’m so sorry,” you said.
The movie had long faded into the background, but at least it gave some white noise for the next heavy beat that passed between you two. His eyes eventually fell away from yours.
“It’s old history,” Russell said at last.
“It’s not just history,” you denied softly. “It’s your life.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, so he just hummed in agreement. He encouraged you to relax against him again, with a warm hand on your back. You settled and released another contented sigh. Even though Russell’s story weighed on your heart, you did feel closer to him. It made you feel like you understood Dory better too, and even Colter.
Russell rubbed your arm. “You doin’ okay? You’ve had a long day.”
“Day and night,” you agreed. Your eyes closed against your will. “But, yeah…I think I’m okay now.”
At that, he smiled. He laid a kiss on your forehead.
“Good,” he said.
A few minutes later, Russell heard your soft, deeper breaths in sleep. He chanced grabbing a throw blanket laid over the back of the couch. He managed to toss it over your body, but he made sure it covered you. You shifted in your sleep and curled up more comfortably against him.
Russell smiled down on you fondly. He’d learned a hell of a lot more about you in just the past couple of days, but ever since he met you, he’d been picking up on the important things. The things that made you the woman you were.
And he wanted more, he realized. He wanted more time with you.
That turned out to be the last real thought he had before his eyes closed on him too.
Russell didn’t wake again until the credits on the movie were rolling near the end. You were still knocked out. So he carried you, blanket and all, over to your bedroom.
He smelled the remnants of your floral shampoo and body wash in the air, likely coming from the bathroom. It was an intoxicating mix, one that had infiltrated his nose ever since you came out of the shower today.
It was only 6:00 p.m., but it might as well have been midnight. He laid you down toward the middle of the bed. There was still space on the other side. Very tempting.
She did offer, he thought, remembering what you’d said at the hospital. And yet, he hesitated.
Before he could make a decision, you made it for him. Your hand reached out to hook in his shirt.
Russell looked down at your sleepy smile.
“Get over here,” you said, tugging him downward. He chuckled and wrapped his hand around yours. He allowed you to guide him over, and he somehow managed to roll onto the other side of the bed without crushing you.
“Reflexes like a cat, I tell ya,” he quipped.
You giggled softly. He took off his first layer of defense (his pants), leaving him in his henley and boxer briefs. He settled into bed behind you and slipped an arm around your waist. He fit in snug against your back.
“Mmm,” he sighed. His lips pressed behind your ear, smiling there. “Feels nice.”
“Mhmm,” you agreed.
He couldn’t see your smile, but you held his arm in place. For the first time in a while, you weren’t alone.
In the early morning, you woke up to warmth and closeness. The man in your bed snored lightly, mouth parted in sleep while he faced you. You smiled.
How could a man who felt dangerous, in more ways than one, also make you feel safe? It was a wonder. Though when an idea hit you, you carefully slid out of bed.
Russell eventually roused in his own time. He blinked awake, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stretched out his limbs in your very comfortable bed. This sure beat rusty motel springs.
He realized that he was alone in the room, but he heard you puttering around the house. He allowed himself to doze some more.
A few minutes later, you returned to greet him with a couple of mugs, drawing him back into the waking world with the rich smell of coffee.
“Aww yeah, that’s the stuff,” he said. He groaned as he slowly sat up.
You laughed and sat beside him on the edge of the bed. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” he said. His voice was deeper and rougher with sleep, washing down your spine pleasantly.
He accepted the mug you offered him. He took a sip and hummed in pleasure at its bold flavor. It wasn’t as sweet as he usually liked it, but it was exactly what he needed right now.
“I just did a little sugar and creamer. That okay?” you asked.
“It’s good,” he nodded. And you looked good, he noticed, with your bed-tousled hair and an open robe over your tank top and little shorts.
“Do you want to meet Dory and Colter for breakfast?” you asked. “Dory texted me this morning.”
Russell’s brows shot up.
“Colt stuck around?” he asked.
“Yeah, Dory asked him to stay at her place last night,” you said. Russell hummed in response.
A bit of an awkward lull fell between you. You’d felt bolder yesterday in the hospital, but now, you weren’t entirely sure what you were doing with a man who just slept somewhat-but-not-altogether platonically in your bed.
“Um, I’ll just…get ready then,” you said, pointing to the bathroom. “You…take your time.”
He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah.”
He peeled back the covers and climbed out of your bed, away from the sheets that smelled like you.
You watched him go when he headed across the hall back to Charlie’s room. You sighed and beat your hand against your own forehead in frustration. What the hell am I doing?
You’d literally invited him into your bed last night, but he hadn’t done anything more than hold you while you slept. It was incredibly kind, and it said a lot about him, despite his rough-around-the-edges exterior. You were just a little disappointed that he’d been a perfect gentleman about it all.
You rolled your eyes at yourself. What did that say about you?
You shook your head and resolved to freshen up. There was still a cut that the ER nurse covered with a butterfly bandage above your brow. You cleaned it up and applied a new bandage. Then you put on some makeup to cover the ugly bruise on your cheek and the dark circles that lingered under your eyes.
God, look at me. You actually wouldn’t blame Russell for not being into you enough to make a move.
A bit disheartened, you changed out of your pajamas to slip on a nice, but comfortable dress over your bra and underwear. Afterward, you paused to stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment. What exactly do you want here?
“Hey, uh—” Russell’s voice startled you, making you flinch. Maybe you were still jumpy.
He raised an apologetic hand. “Sorry. Just thought I’d ask if you want some toast or something. I don’t think my stomach can wait ‘til we meet up with Dory.”
You smiled faintly. “Sure, go ahead. Whatever’s there, you’re welcome to.”
Russell paused, tilting his head. There was something off with you. He saw it, and felt it.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you said, glancing away.
Russell’s spidey senses began to tingle. He approached you and laid a hand on the counter, inches from yours.
“You sure?” he said. He took in your hesitant face, then the pretty dress you had on. The color matched your eyes. Soulful eyes.
He smiled when you let him see them again.
“Can you see the bruises? I think I covered them up well enough,” you said. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror again, touching your jaw carefully.
Russell’s hand raised to find your cheek, earning your attention with wider eyes. His thumb swept across your skin as you started to blush.
“You’re beautiful,” he said with a smile. “Don’t you worry about that.”
Your face warmed further, despite your smile.
“Yeah, the makeup helps,” you quipped.
“I didn’t say anything about makeup,” he replied. Though he grinned and made a show of looking closer at your face. “Although, have your lashes always been that damn long?”
You laughed, but he didn’t let go of you. Instead, his hand drifted down to your neck, cradling your jaw. His thumb brushed over your lower lip this time, smudging your lipstick a little. Your eyes met his, but they’d already lowered, to the path of his hand. You were tempted to nip at his thumb, or better yet, suck it into your mouth.
Perhaps he read the thought crossing your face. Because when those darkened eyes flicked up to yours, he finally bowed his head to kiss you.
You took in a deep breath, and you melted into his mouth with a moan of wanting. A craving from the depths of your heart, finally being fulfilled.
You didn’t let yourself think anymore. You gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. He cupped the back of your head, tangling his fingers into your hair as he deepened the kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth, and you let him in. You met his every kiss with the same fervor, claiming him right back, demanding just as much.
Your hands slid up his chest and helped him shrug off the green jacket first, then his shirt (Led Zeppelin this time). He hooked an arm around your waist and brought you flush against him, so he could turn you around and walk you back to the bed.
You clung to his bare shoulders and savored the feeling of his warm, calloused hands burning up your thighs and ass, bunching the skirt of your dress. You helped him get it over your head and toss it onto the floor along with his clothes.
As he held you by the waist, his gaze dipped for a moment to take you in, from bare thighs and hips and lacy panties, all the way up to your breasts cupped in your bra. Through panting breaths, you smiled and blushed at the heated depths of his green eyes. You felt like your heart was beating in and out of rhythm.
But you managed to get a hold of your nerves long enough to drag your hands down his chest, down to his belt. You unclipped it for him and took your time in sliding the entire belt out of its loops. Then you let the brown leather fall to the floor.
Russell raised a brow at you, smiling. Taking your challenge for what it was, he unbuttoned his jeans himself and aimed to step out of them, but he had some trouble when one of the pant legs got caught around his ankle and sock-covered foot.
“Shit,” he muttered as he stumbled a little. “Hold on.”
Unable to help a small giggle, you grabbed his left arm to help steady him. He hissed in pain, but he cleared his throat to cover it. You gasped as you realized what you’d done. You noticed then that he had a bandage tightly wrapped above his elbow, right below one of his tattoos.
“What’s this?” you asked in concern. You held his arm with both hands. “Did you get shot? Did you get this looked at when we were at the hospital?”
Russell staved off your questions with a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“It’s okay. This is old, just still healing up,” he said.
You frowned up at him. “You got stabbed, shot, what? When did this happen? I thought you worked in private security.”
“A couple months ago. I got, uh, grazed. Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Sometimes the job gets a bit dicey.”
He could tell though, that you weren’t going to let it go easily.
“Let me see,” you said, trying to peek under the bandage. Russell laughed and gathered you into his arms to stop your attempts. Your concern warmed him, but it wasn’t necessary.
“I’m fine, sweetheart. I promise. Can we focus on the fun part, here?” he said.
Your brows furrowed. You opened your mouth to reply, but Russell saw the testiness in your eyes. He dipped down to kiss you, swallowing whatever snippy remark you were about to make.
You weren’t the only one giving into a craving here. Russell’s was bone-deep, molten in his blood, and getting to see you, to feel your soft body under his hands was already so much better than he’d imagined. His hold tightened on your waist, his fingers pressing into your skin.
A shudder ran up your spine at his touch. You circled your arms around his neck and let him continue ravishing you, then laying you down onto the bed.
While you were careful about avoiding the bandage, your hand did drift down his arm, and further still, to palm at the straining bulge pressing against you. And Jesus Christ, did it feel generous. He grunted at your touch and paused with his lips against your jaw.
“Well hey there, cowboy,” you said, adopting a more sensuous tone. “I had a feeling you’d be packing. What’s that, a .45, or a 38 Special?”
Russell’s eyes blinked wide. Then he erupted with deep laughter that made his shoulders shake. Aside from throwing a punch, your brother must’ve taught you something about guns too.
“Well thank you, kindly,” Russell said, putting on a bit of a southern drawl, just to tease you. “But you’re about to find out, naughty girl.”
You giggled as he began to kiss your neck, languid and sloppy. He blazed a wet trail down the column of your throat and between your breasts. His beard rasping against your skin made you shudder a little, but it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, you quite liked that a lot.
He slipped a hand underneath you to unclip the black lace. You arched into him so he had easier access.
He slid the bra from your body and tossed it somewhere behind him. Just as he’d imagined, you had beautiful tits. His lips explored each of them in turn, squeezing supple flesh and rolling your sensitive, hardened nipples with his tongue and fingers.
It was a prequel, you thought, for what talents that mouth might have further down. You had to moan just at the idea, your fingers clenching in his hair, but also at the sensations he was drawing from your body wherever he touched. The man clearly knew what he was doing.
He traveled lower still and laid slow, occasionally nipping kisses across your stomach, hips and thighs. His fingers hooked around your panties and lowered them down your legs. You felt his warm breath panting against your thigh. You glanced down at him and tensed in anticipation.
“Still good?” he checked, squeezing your hip. You smiled and reached for his hand. Russell gave it to you, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand in affection.
“I think I’m about to be,” you said cheekily.
He smirked. His other hand smoothed up the inside of your thigh and slipped past your folds, finding wetness that already coated his digits.
“Goddamn. You’re soaked,” he said, just a hint teasing. “Bet if I put my mouth on you, you’d fuckin’ drown me.”
Again, he stopped whatever smart quip you were about to levy at him next when his fingers found your clit. You let out a gasping moan instead.
He decided that he already loved that sound. He endeavored to pull it from you, again and again when he began working you open with his fingers and pumping them inside you. He enjoyed seeing you writhe and arch against his hand. Your hands squeezed his arms, his shoulders, trying to anchor yourself.
His thumb circled and strummed your clit in a rhythm only he could hear in his head, until you couldn’t help biting your nails into his shoulders when you came. You shuddered your release as your core throbbed with warmth and slick around his fingers.
“Fuck, that’s my girl,” he said. His voice rasped deep with arousal. “Wouldn’t even mind if you did drown me.”
You huffed in response, unable to form speech just now.
Next time, Russell thought. He slipped his fingers out of you and licked them clean, making your eyes widen. He smirked and stroked your thigh as you came down, a shuddering mess.
After taking a second to regain your breath, you pulled him down for a kiss, both grateful and fueled by a passion you couldn’t put into words. What you felt for this man was instinctual, from the moment you saw him. And yet, it was also so much more. It was raw, and real, and maybe even beautiful.
The thought spurred you on as your hands moved with purpose down his body. Your nails caught at the waistband of his boxer briefs as you tried to roll them down. You got it halfway down his thighs, enough to let his hardened length spring free. You bit your lip at the mere sight of him. Goddamn.
Your hand slid around his cock, near its weeping head. You used the beads of wetness there to work your way smoothly down to its base. Russell’s body tensed above you, just before he groaned low in pleasure.
You pushed at his chest to have him let you up.
“Your turn, baby,” you said. It would be one hell of a challenge to get your mouth down that beautiful 44 Magnum, but you were more than willing to try.
To your surprise, Russell shook his head and guided you back down.
“Let’s pin that one for next time too. Wanna be inside you already,” he said.
You blinked, but then you nodded in breathless agreement. He kissed you deeply, devouring you with his teeth grazing your bottom lip. His tongue soon slipped out to soothe it.
“Condom?” he panted, between kisses.
“Oh, yeah. Um…bathroom, bottom drawer,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure why you were whispering.
“Okay, two seconds,” he said.
He left you in the bed, quite literally hot and bothered, and very naked. You crossed your arms over your breasts on reflex while you tried to recover. Your core was still tingling, and your heart was beating fast, though you couldn’t stamp out the smile forming on your face.
You heard the sound of foil unwrapping and clothed rustling. When he came back to the bedroom, you finally got a full picture of what you were in for. You unconsciously licked your lips as your gaze dipped down his body, and the indeed impressive package at full mast, and full display.
A grin curved his lips when he caught you staring. He climbed back onto the bed with just a bit of struggle with all the blankets coiled about. He pushed a heavy blanket out of his way, accidentally shoving it to the floor.
“Back to business,” he said.
“Oh, yeah,” you agreed, and you welcomed him back, sliding your hands up his arms and shoulders. You hooked your thigh around his hip as he found his way back between your legs. Holding his bearded face in your hands, you pulled him in for another kiss that reignited you both.
He sunk his hand into your hair and treated you to another slow, deep kiss. Until your thigh tightening around his hip urged him to satisfy what you both had been wanting and waiting for.
He grabbed your thighs and angled you higher. Then he lined himself up at your entrance. Looking into your eyes, your breaths mingling together, he sheathed himself a little at a time. A keening moan fell from your lips.
He started with shallow thrusts, giving you time to adjust. But that in itself was a torturous tease. It made the coil in your lower belly start to tighten again. Pleasure began to thrum inside you, ever slowly. Your head tipped back into the pillows with a gasp.
“God, Russell, please,” you uttered. You squeezed his arms on reflex, your heels digging into his ass.
“I know, baby. Gonna fucking wreck you, I promise,” he said with a grin.
You huffed in amusement. That was a hefty promise.
Though a moan tore from your throat when he finally bottomed out, stretching your inner walls. He groaned along with you. His lips fastened to your neck as he gave you deeper thrusts.
“You feel so good,” you said raggedly in his ear, raking your fingers through his hair. You felt every damn inch of him.
“You too, baby. So damn good,” he gritted out. “Tell me what you want.”
He raised your thigh a bit higher, his fingers pressing into flesh.
“Ugh, fuck,” you gasped, as he hit a particularly delicious angle. “Whatever you want to give me.”
“You sure about that?” Russell asked, panting against your neck. Your nails dragged down his back between the muscles in his shoulders, hard enough to earn a halting groan from him.
You nodded emphatically. “Yes!”
His lips hinted at a smile. “Okay, hold on."
Before you could even respond, he pulled out of you all the way, just so he could guide you over onto your stomach. He pulled you up onto your hands and knees. As he ran a hand down the gentle slope of your back and around the curve of your ass, you breathed harder in anticipation.
“So damn beautiful,” he muttered.
You glanced at him over your shoulder. You unconsciously bit your lip as your heart couldn’t help but swell at his words. Russell met you with a look that betrayed his desire, making your lower belly tremble as well.
He parted your cheeks and slotted himself between your thighs from behind. You once again felt the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, and then pushing back in with one deep plunge. Both of you let out moans of relief at the feeling.
Pretty soon, he was pounding into you deeper and faster than before. Oh, fuck yes…
You clawed at the headboard, trying to find something to keep you stable. Russell’s arm slid around you for a solid support. You held onto him right back with one hand while he continued to drive into you, earning each and every sound coming out of your mouth. He’d finally angled you just right, so he could hit that special spot inside you with every thrust. Your pussy clenched on him in response, making him grunt in pleasure.
“Fuck, you’re close. I can fuckin’ feel it,” he said, panting. He laid a biting kiss where your neck met your shoulder. You cried out in both pain and pleasure, your inner walls once again squeezing on him.
“Yeah,” you nodded, breathless. “This time, you’re gonna come with me.”
You reached back and tangled your fingers into his hair. He held you to his chest and squeezed your breast a bit roughly. You uttered a wanton sound. You dragged his hand down your body to part your folds. You used his fingers to press against your clit.
He picked up your hint, and then took control, massaging you with his fingers. There you began to tremble from the inside out. Warmth emanated from your core and spread outward, down to your toes as you came even harder on his cock.
Russell wasn’t far behind. His voice joined yours as his body locked up, and he spilled hot into the condom. You almost wished he’d come freely inside you, so you could really feel him. Regardless, your body was boneless when he lowered you down onto the bed afterward.
“Holy shit,” you breathed.
He chuckled and kissed your shoulder, before he fully pulled out. Panting for breath though you both were, you managed to twist onto your side and reach a hand for his cheek. Your fingers slipped higher from there, cupping the back of his neck. Your thumb swept tenderly across his cheek, and you guided him down for a proper kiss.
Russell obliged you, his lips meeting yours plush and wet. He brushed strands of your sweaty hair away from your forehead with affection.
Somehow, that last kiss was softer than all the rest.
One thing was for sure though. There was no way you two were making it to breakfast.
“I kind of feel bad now,” you later confessed.
You and Russell were taking a few minutes just to recover under the messy sheets. He held you while sitting up against your headboard. He almost craved a smoke. You’d given him a damn workout.
He smirked at the thought. Admittedly, his mind was more on focused on the scenes replaying in his head than on what you were saying.
“Dory doesn’t get to see you guys that often,” you continued, “and who knows how long Colter will seriously wait for us to get out of bed.”
Russell’s attention drifted back to you at that.
“Come on, it’s not like they know why we’re running late,” he said. You gave him a knowing look.
“Are you kidding? They were already suspicious when you brought me home yesterday,” you replied with a laugh.
Russell grinned and rubbed your arm. He knew you were probably right, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Yeah, well. That was damn worth it,” he said.
You smiled. You rolled your head over on his shoulder, so you could see his face, but you became contemplative as uncertainty crept in. You let in a breath to gather your courage, and you decided to take a chance.
“You know, drug dealers aside, Laramie isn’t such a bad place to live,” you pointed out. “We’ve got a movie theater, a couple good outlet malls, a new Tex-Mex restaurant that just opened down the street. I’m gonna have to find a new bar though.”
Russell smiled at you. He knew what you were suggesting.
He sighed as his amusement faded.
“Look, even if I stay…” he hesitated.
He looked into your eyes and saw the vulnerability there. You were being honest with him, putting your heart into his hands. The least he could do was be honest. He covered your hand where it rested on his chest.
“If I’m on a job, I could be gone weeks at a time. I won’t be able to tell you where I am or what I’m doing. That’s gonna be hard on you,” he said.
He knew his friend Doug made it work with his wife, but their relationship wasn’t without friction because of the job he and Russell shared.
“I can handle it,” you said firmly.
“You just had a little freak out over a scratch earlier,” Russell pointed out, with a gesturing hand at his bandaged arm.
“Okay, that’s different,” you said.
You wouldn’t say it now, but there were things that still concerned you about his job. You had a strong feeling that "private security" wasn’t all it entailed. However, after what he’d done for you, after what he’d done for Charlie, you knew that Russell Shaw was a good man.
There was something good here, and you didn’t want to lose it this time. You shifted in his arms, so you could face him.
“Look, we can sit down and figure all that out,” you said. “But do you want to at least try? Or…am I reading this wrong?”
Russell stared back at you ruefully. He raised a hand to touch your cheek, grazing your soft skin with his fingers.
“No, you’re not,” he said.
In fact, what he felt already ran deeper with you than he’d like to admit. He let out a long breath through his nose.
“Okay,” he said at last. “If we’re gonna do this, let’s do it right, I guess. I’ll book a motel here in town for now. If things go well, I can…I don’t know, find an apartment.”
Your answering smile broke him down further, even as it warmed him inside. You turned over to circle your arms around his neck, and as an added bonus, pressing your bare breasts against his chest. You kissed his cheek with a happy hum. He laughed at your enthusiasm. He also accepted your sweet path of kisses that led to his lips.
He groaned when it became not so sweet, with your tongue slipping hotly against his. His hold on your hips tightened.
“Uh oh. Baby, we can’t do this now,” he chuckled, even though your hand was already wandering down his body and under the sheets. You both were supposed to be getting ready to meet his brother and sister for lunch.
“Five minutes,” you said against his lips. All the while, you were pushing him back onto the bed. You began to kiss down his chest, and lower still.
Russell snorted. Right.
But he wasn’t about to argue with you. He had a gut feeling…one that made him almost certain.
He’d found where he wanted to be.
AN: Well, then! I hope you enjoyed the "happy ending." 😘 I always get a bit sad at the end of a series, but thank you to everyone who's followed the ride on Every Second Counts. Let me know what you thought of how it all shook out here at the end between her and Russell! 💜
Read the Sequel:
Want more ESC? Read the next one-shot, Lost Time (18+):
Summary: When Russell takes longer than usual on a job out of town, you realize how hard it is to live half a life with him.
▶️ Keep Reading: Lost Time
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