#i don't even read this fic but now i might???
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Billie Eilish x female reader !
A/n: as a bit of an apology for that other fic... LMAOO THIS DOES HAVE A HAPPY ENDING ! I've been obsessed with this song. Like if my future gf doesn't confess her love to me with it I'm gunna sue
Summary: none of you had any idea just how inlove you guys were.
Warnings: a bit angsty at the startish ? But happy ending 😁 this ended up being so so cute eeee - also listening to the song helps near the end when they're in the rain. Makes it more magical hehe
Masterlist
It was another day. Another cold, rainy day. It had been like that for a few weeks now. But you weren't complaining, you loved this kind of weather. Drinking hot drinks, wearing cute clothes, the sound of it on the roof. Even going to cute little Cafes with friends, which is what you were on the way to do now. Your best friend Claudia, Finneas and last but not least Billie. Billie, Billie. Billie. She was beautiful, always teasing you about something but you loved it. Yes you had a crush on her. But you had to stop that.
You had been friends with Finneas first for years, and your crush developed quite quickly when you met Billie for the first time. Only a matter of days and you were drooling at the sight. She'd never see you like that though. Then you introduced Claudia to them, your long time best friend. She knew about this crush and she was the only one who did. It was only natural when she insisted you say something the day Billie came out. You had known for awhile before she publicly announced it. You were a lesbian and open about that, so she came to you when she thought she might be into girls.
It only made things worse. Making you want her even more when she confirmed she wanted to be with a woman. You so desperately wanted that woman to be you. But you doubted she saw you in that way. Causing you to push those feelings aside, and bury it deep within. The looks you always gave her go unnoticed by Claud, she tried time and time again to encourage you to just say something and that..
"You never know what could happen" She says as you and her wait on the other two to order. "Claudia there's no point, it'd just ruin things. "You don't know that!" She insists, but shuts up seconds later as they come back over. Her words always sat with you, replaying over and over in your mind. But you couldn't do it, you had to let it go. Just some silly crush you developed as a kid. It'll go away.
... It's been nearly 7 years. 7 long years with a burning crush for her. A massive secret. Who were you kidding you weren't getting over it. They come back with the drinks in hand. "Matcha for you." Finn says, handing it to Claudia. "Your favorite for you." You smile as Billie says that. She always knew. She knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't, and vise versa. Which probably made you love her even more. If anything you were certain you were inlove with her. Which is why you needed to make this stop somehow.
Few months had passed since the coffee shop. You were sitting at home, scrolling through your phone when you see tiktoks of Quen, Odessa, and Billie in one. You knew she was close with them but you had no idea just how close. But that wasn't even the icing on the cake. Your phone dings with a text from her. "Hey you!" It read. You try to ignore the pit in your stomach after seeing that stupid fucking tiktok. You couldn't let it bother you this much. "Hii Bills." - "Craziest thing right, I mean not so crazy because I've kissed her before. But i love how casual it is, Quen was just saying a joke and kissed me mid way."
Your heart stings for a bit as you read those words. That poison. "Oh really?" - "Shes honestly so funny though, just wanted to text! See how you were doing and all." You bite your lip. How's awful? "I'm fine!" You were glad this was over text cuz boy were you a bad liar. So you're glad she hasn't caught on at all to your crush. Lying your way out of that one would be a mission. Or maybe it wouldn't be. "Good! I'll talk to you later, byeee." You sigh. "Bye.." You say outloud.
Some more time passes by, and very slowly. You had been focusing more on yourself. You even got a promotion in your job. But you weren't sure if you would take it, seeing as you had to move to New York for it. It had been eating at you recently on what to do. You can't bear the thought of not seeing your friends everyday. Even if they could visit but they had busy lives too. It wouldn't be the same. And you weren't sure if you could leave her. Or maybe that was the exact thing you needed.
Maybe you needed to get away so this silly little crush could go bye bye. But once you think it over some more you come to a decision. You couldn't possibly say no to this. This was huge for you after all.
Flashback.
Another rainy day, you two were chilling in Finns basement as Billie works on a few things. She stops for a moment. "Hey, I've been working on this song for a bit. It's nothing major but can you have a listen?" You nod, leaning forward excitedly. As it plays, you fall immediately inlove. Even if it was just a snippet. "Billie! That's beautiful." You beam at her, loving it so much. She blushes slightly at the words. "It's really special. I was thinking of putting the rain in the background if I can manage to. It's so noisy tonight." You nod as she says that. "I love the rain, it brings me such a comfort. The cold weather, snuggling up into blankets. The sound!" She smiles as you talk. She always listened, especially when you rambled. "I know." She says, more so to herself seeing as you hadn't heard her.
"Hey, early like always." Claudia says to you as you enter her house. You greet Finneas and the dogs aswel. "Well you know me." They were currently throwing a small get together, something common for them to do. But you loved it. You were going to break the news tonight. It was decided. Billie had only just arrived shortly after you, coming in and saying hi to everyone. You look at her, wondering if you really should go through with this. She was your best friend. It made you wonder how she's going to take the news. Out of all of them you two were the closest. Hanging out regularly, talking on the phone. So this without a doubt would be hard.
You were all sitting around at the table, talking, eating. When a friend asks Billie if she's done anything new recently music wise. "Well, funny you should ask. I've been writing this song, it's incredibly special to me. It's about this girl, and I think I really like her." You swallow as you hear that. Was it who you think it was about? Was it that same song she got you to listen to? "Ooou Billie liking someone?" Rat pipes up. "I may do." "If you're writing a song for her you must be pretty inlove." She blushes slightly. It had to be about Quen, it just had to. You look down at your food contemplating. That whole situation just made everything easier. So you begin to speak.
"I uhm, I have a small announcement." Everyone then looks at you. Your eyes land on Billies for a split second. "I- got a promotion a few weeks ago." They all start congratulating you, even Billie. But that dies down with your next words. "It uh.. Id have to move to New York though." Things fell silent, saddened faces all around. "That sucks. But we are so proud of you, are you going to take it?" You think for a moment, you look over to Billie but her eyes were on the food on her plate. "Uhm. Yeah, I am." Cheers were then to be heard. "To Y/n!" Rat then says, raising his glass. "To Y/n!" Everyone follows. Everyone but Billie...
Flashback.
Summer time. It was almost your second favorite to winter, but nothing could ever beat your love for it. You and Billie had gone out to a meadow, it was one of her favorite things. Going out to rejoice in nature. And when you had suggested it she couldn't of been more happy. It was better than sitting around in the boiling heat in the house, even with the fan on it was scorching. There was a warm breeze as you two walked through it. Enjoying the sun and grass. Billie was behind you going to grab your wrist. "This was an amazing idea. You know me so well." You smile wide as she says that. "I also know how much energy you have. I'll race you to the end." She chuckles. "Oh please you know I'd beat you-" "Go!" You abruptly say, running off as soon as your sentence finished. "Hey!" She yells running after you.
The whole paddock was huge so it took you a little bit. Along the way you both give up, but as you were about to stop your body's being tackled to the ground. "Gotcha!" She says pinning your arms down. You laugh. "No fair!" Her brow raises. "You know what's not fair? You getting a head start you little cheat." You laugh even more. "I have no clue what you're on about." It was her turn to laugh. "And a liar!" Her hands move to tickle your sides. "Billie!" "A bad one at that." Now your laughs were uncontrollable. She kept going until something sparks. You hadn't realized how close she was. Both of your eyes locking. Everything stills. Her movements. Your breathing. Maybe even time did too. You look at her lips for a second and that's when you look away. Her hand gently grabs your jaw. "You still lost." Your eyes roll going to push her off. "Har har."
She falls beside you as you both lay on your back. Taking in the sky silently. "Everything is so beautiful." You breathe. "Yeah." Billie replies. She wasn't looking at the sky.
The time was nearing. You were packing up your things a few days earlier. Honestly, you were so excited. This could be a brand new start, a refresher. After a longish day you were driving over to Finneas and Claudia's, wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. Wondering why Billie wasn't mentioned? Because she may not even be there. She hasn't been there. Ever since that night, nor had she texted you since then. Which is something she did daily. It broke your heart. But maybe that just made it even easier to leave. Maybe..
"Got most packed?" Claudia asks. You nod, seemingly distracted. "Hey, everything alright?" You look at her. "Oh yeah, just thinking about missing you guys- when. I leave." She had known you for longer than they have, even if you were a bad liar she saw right through you. "Spill." You sigh. "We haven't spoken in weeks.." Her brows furrow. "You and Billie?" You just nod, kinda wanting to avoid this whole thing right now. "Ever since I announced it she's shut me out." Claudia's features softened. "Maybe she just needed time she's your best friend it'll surely hurt-" "But as a best friend she should be here for me. Even if that is so."
Things grew silent, not the horrible kind. "I'm sorry." You shrug. "Guess even in friendship she doesn't want it." - "That's not true." You shrug again. "Even before I mentioned this whole thing she had grown distant. Its like I didn't even matter anymore. She was too busy focusing on this girl." Maybe you hadn't realized how much it upset you. You didn't want it to. But it finally got to you. Claudia notices and brings you in for a hug. She soothes you, trying to not make things seem worse. After a bit you both pull back. "You're going to call me everyday ok? And we will talk about anything and everything." She wipes your slight tears.
Feeling her own fall. You nod, planning on doing so. "Im going to miss you guys." She brings you in for a final hug. "We are going to miss you more."
Flashback.
Parties were something you aren't sure you're use to. But it was quite a frequent thing. Seeing as who you were friends with were in that scene. "I hope this isn't boring like some of them." You sigh, watching Billie come out of your bathroom. She was wearing a loose black button up shirt and some very laid back pants. Another thing you loved about her, she didn't try to be fashionable. She was just always comfortable. "Oh come onnn, it could be so fun!" Even she didn't believe that. She agreed with you, parties like these were just an excuse to drink or get high and you hated it. Everyone could enjoy themselves when they are actually themselves instead of being intoxicated. "I'll make it fun." She then says, striding over to you. Billie had always been flirty in anything she did. Whether it was her tone or actions it'd always be noticeable. Which sure as hell didn't help with the fucking crush.
And delicate touch to your body had you shivering. It felt like she did it on purpose. Maybe she was? "And how do you suppose you'd do that?" She shrugs, getting closer. "Just by being me." Your brows raises, trying so hard to not let show how much of an effect she has on you currently. "If you say so." But that whole night was something else. Sure she could be touchy, and never in a bad way. It was her love language after all. But something about the way you danced together, the way each moment felt. Sure as hell didn't feel like a just friends thing. But ofcourse you were delusional. Because the next day, things were back to the same friendliness. It hurt, all you wanted was to be hers but she didn't feel the same. And you had to accept that.
It was the last day before your move. "This is for Y/n." Finneas says on their couch. It was just him, you, Claudia. And ofcourse Billie. You doubted she even wanted to come at the way she's been acting lately. It upset and angered you. What was wrong with her? "Our best friend. And cheers to the new chapter she's starting!" He finishes. "Here here!" Claudia chimes in. Your heart just sinks as you turn to look at Billie. She was on her phone. Probably texting the mystery girl. You look at your drink, sighing internally. Finneas and Claud just look at one another. "Congrats Y/n." Finneas then concludes.
A slight sadness in his voice. You nod slowly as you 3 drink to it. The night goes on, you wanted some more blue cheese so you get up and go to the kitchen, Billie happening to be there. Things were awkward. You really didn't want them to end this way. "Can't believe it's tomorrow." You say, breaking the air. "Yeah, came by fast." There was more awkward silence. God you felt like crying why was she being like this. But that anger comes back as shes on her phone, again. The last night you have together and she's texting some bitch. "Really?" You manage to get out, after what felt like ages of bottling up whatever it was inside you.
Her eyes move to look at you. "Huh?" You grit your teeth. She sees your eyes gloss over, opening her mouth to speak. "You haven't spoken to me in weeks." You snap. She doesn't say anything, unsure of exactly what she could say. There's many things, but choosing was tricky. "Just forget it, I'm going to go home and rest. Got a big day tomorrow." You say to everyone as you grab your bag, heading out. Remembering you had taken an Uber, grabbing your phone but struggle as the pouring rain shoots down. "Wait!" You then hear behind you.
"No Billie." You really didn't want to speak to her after all she hadn't, all month. All night for fuck sakes. "Please let me talk." You ignore her trying hard to call this damn Uber, but the rain wasn't helping in the slightest. She grabs your phone making you look at her. "Hey!" You say, feeling tears flow. It was hard to tell mixed with the rain. But she notices. She notices everything. "I'm s-" You push her away. "N-no." You shiver. "You hurt me." She stands there dumbfounded. That's not at all what she wanted. Far from it. She's reized how much she's hurt you.
"Please, I really am sorry I shouldn't have iced you out. I was just shocked and a little hurt you hadn't mentioned this to me." You fold your arms not looking at her. "I hadn't told anyone." She scratches her head. "Yeah but, out of anyone I thought youd atleast tell me." You turn to her. "Why? Why do you think that? You haven't been the best friend to me recently. Hell i don't even know what to think anymore." She shakes her head. "Don't say that, please I'm sorry." You stay quiet for a moment. "Just give me my phone."
She was hesitant but with a sigh she does. You soon get fed up, going to walk. "It's freezing, you can't just walk home." - "Why do you care all of a sudden Billie. It's not like you've been so caring lately?!" Another bit of silence. You just shake your head. "Well?" She thinks for a moment. "This morning. I woke up from a dream. Where you and I had to say goodbye." You had no clue where this was going but you were growing inpatient. Wanting a proper answer. "And I don't know what it all means... But since then I realized. Wherever you go that's where I'll follow."
You roll your eyes a bit, not even sure you're getting where this is going, patience growing thinner. "Im tired Billie, goodnight and goodbye." You say walking off again. She started to panic. Frantically thinking. "Y/n!" When you wouldn't stop she sighs. "I love you!" Your feet come to halt at the words. "Or rather, inlove with you." Your eyes widen. Was this a dream too? Were you dreaming? You slowly turn around to look at her. "W-what?" You look at eachother, feeling as if time had stopped again. "If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you."
You feel tears again. This is all you've been longing from her. "Are you serious?" You question. "Serious as anything." You smile, more tears coming down your cheeks. You run over to her, she instinctively picks you up. And finally something else you had been longing for, happened just like that. You felt eachothers lips. Molding together perfectly. It lasted for what felt like eternity. Neither of you wanted to pull away, you knew you needed to though. The rain pours more over you. Making both of your hair sticks to your faces. She moves yours out the way.
"I'm hoping you feel the same?" You laugh. "Yes you idiot. For over 7 years." She smiles wide, so happy that this could finally happen. "Wait- what about the girl- the mystery one?" She chuckles. "We really were blind huh?" Your brows furrow in confusion. "The song was about you. But I never said anything because I was worried I'd ruin things." Your head shakes. "Oh thank God, I honestly thought it was Quen." You breathe out relieved. "Oh goodness no, she's just a friend. Even if I had kissed her it was more of an experience." You nod, understanding everything more now.
"So the song was about me?" You beam. She reflects the same actions. "I thought the lyrics would've been obvious to be honest. Especially with the rain part." - "Guess it just flew past my head." You lock eyes once again. "Well since I know how much rain means to you. What if I asked you a very special question while we're out here in it." Your head tilts. Her hands grabbing your own. "Will you be my girlfriend?" You smile. "I thought you'd never ask." You seal the deal with a kiss. You fell first. But she fell harder.
"No seriously I thought you'd never ask." You both laugh, heading over to her car so you can get home.
#billie eilish#billie elish icons#billie ellish lyrics#billie#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish fanfiction#billie elish moodboard#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish x you#billie eilish angst#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish fic#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish fandom#billie eilish hmhas#billie eilish comfort
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Mizuki is kinda too perfect as a trans character. Their family is accepting and they can pass effortlessly. The only issue they have is really the only one that could be left after that point: society's view of trans people.
But while this is great and I really appreciate how Mizuki is written, handled, whatever, it just makes everything about being a regular transfem hurt even more...
I've been working on a 4 hour video essay about Mizuki for almost a month now and every time I replay parts of the story involving Mizuki's sister Yuuki, I just can't help but begin to break down. The way she has never left Mizuki alone when they were vulnerable, the way she's supported Mizuki with everything she possibly could. Her words, her gifts, her clear love for Mizuki is something I wish I ever had. I've always been alone I feel like. I never had anyone who I was able to comfortably share my femininity with. Even now, I feel like that same femininity isn't something I can share with most trans women I meet.
When I see the things Yuuki says to Mizuki, it's just too much. It's this amazing warmth that I never had and I wonder if I will ever get to have. Even outside the story... I just read an alternate timeline fic where Ena's the one who gets Mizuki out of the closet and not Yuuki. Even that like, it really hurts you know?
Beyond Yuuki, the way that Mizuki presumably doesn't have to put effort into passing is difficult as well. Truly their only obstacle is finding acceptance. And well, for them, there is still the existential obstacle of being trans - being born in the wrong body - but it doesn't stop them from presenting comfortably in a way that they're happy with. Meanwhile, I feel like most trans women don't get to pass. I think I've only known one trans woman who passes.
So now there is not only acceptance (which is more complex and difficult if you don't pass), but also this whole aspect of maintaining constant courage against the negativity of society, which is a tremendously heavy thing. And sure, Mizuki deals with this too, but in a different way. The door for them to blend into society is open, but for those who don't pass, the door might be so hard to find that it might as well not be there.
When I compare myself to Mizuki, I just feel... inadequate. I never meant to do it intentionally but the moment it happened it sent me into a spiral.
"I'll never have what they have."
And I know they're a fictional character and are probably an unattainable standard but idk it just, it's hard not to compare myself? Maybe I'm just stupid.
They're just too perfect, despite how "rough" their story is. I think it's really their downfall in terms of becoming the best possible representation and I mean, I was never expecting that from them. It's just an issue with their character I think, though one that couldn't really be avoided with how the writers wanted to execute their character.
Idk, I love Mizuki but sometimes it hurts when I think about them.
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18+caged
A/n: obviously NONE of the stuff in this fic is good to do, this is inspired from the movie fresh completely so if you haven't watched fresh don't read this maybe, I’m bringing Tyler into this so just for some verification Bjorns the one who sells the body parts and eats them(maybe just sometimes) but Tyler only sells them because he needs money or just because he’s trying to be a supportive cousin😭 I don’t like this at all so I might delete it and re do it
Tags: @spikedfearn thank you for helping me come up with the Tyler idea🙏 also thank you for matching my freak with this
Pairings: Tyler Harrison x fem!reader x Bjorn
Warnings: cannibalism mentioned, mocking, reader being held in a prison cell, cannionbalistic Tyler and Bjorn, manipulation, false hope, corrupted!Tyler, degrading and praising , dub con, oral f!receiving, lying, Tyler being desperate to just touch a girl in general, orgasm denial, p in v, non protected sex
You’ve been there for at least two weeks, of course you have no way of tracking time but it feels fitting, two weeks of being stuck in a cage with cold hard floors, you also have a small shitty mattress and a thin blanket but it doesn’t help much when it’s night time and freezing cold, the only upside to this is you still have all your limbs also Bjorn brings you food down every day, you shouldn’t really trust the food he brings you but it really does taste good and you also negotiated with him to get the chains of your ankles, another good thing.
You’ve notice that Bjorn isn’t always there, you assume he goes out to the city for groceries or something, but you don’t know.
Your laying on the mattress that hurts your back, just staring at the ceiling when you hear footsteps coming down the stairs which immediately makes you sit up, you heard Bjorns car leaving a hour ago which means he wouldn’t be back so who is that?
A fairly tall man comes down the stairs, you can’t see him front on but from the back he has short brunette hair and he’s well built, he walks over to the door of the cell and looks at you, now that you can see him front on he looks the same as he does from the back except now that your looking at him front on you notice he he has brown eyes “So your the new girl my cousin has down ere’, Bjorn wasn’t kidding when he said yer’ a pretty thing”Tyler says he smirks slightly, eyes roaming over your form before he leans against the cage.
"Don't worry, I don’t usually come down ‘ere" He says "just wanted to check you out, see if tha’ dick head cousin of mine was telling the truth" He mutters, you just look at him, your even more confused now, is this some kind of fucked up family business? “What do you want.”You ask bluntly, Tyler chuckles “No need to snap a’ me luv, it’s jus’ such a shame, a pretty girl like you down here all by yer’self..���He trails off, noticing how scared you look "ya' gonna keep looking at me like that luv’?.. You look terrified..." he chuckles softly "I could make ya' a deal" he offers, noticing the way your eyes light up with what seems like hope “how bout’ ya’ let me touch and and I’ll let ya’ walk straight outta’ ere’?”he asks, tilting his head to the side “c’mon I’m sure you wanna’ be touched, hm? It must get lonely down ere’..”he mocks, taking keys out of his pocket and opening the cell door and stepping inside, walking over to you.
“I can distract you for a bit, take your mind of all this.”He mutters, placing a hand on your chin and pushing it up so your looking at him “and I’ll get something outta’ it too of course, but so will you and tha’ will be gettin’ outta’ ere’, so?..”He asks, you clench your jaw, if you say no you stay in here for who knows how long, if you say yes you’ll get out of there, it’s a no brainer really. “Fine.”You huff out stubbornly, just like that and he’s kissing you, tongue probing at your bottom lip asking for access, left hand sliding up your shirt to lightly grope at your breast through your bra, other hand is busy sliding down your shorts, thumb pushing your panties to the side so he can sink two fingers knuckle deep into your wet core, you moan quietly and buck your hips against his hand, he moves his fingers in and out of you at a torturous pace.
Tyler presses kisses down your neck, stopping on a certain spot to lightly bite at it, he continues kissing down your body until he gets to your thighs, he pulls your panties down and he pulls his fingers out of you just as you were on the edge of orgasm, he brings his fingers up to his mouth and maintains eye contact as he sucks them clean “taste so sweet, so good..”He mutters before leaning down, his warm mouth wrapping around your core, your hand immediately going to his hair, fisting at it slightly to bring him closer. He’s eating you out like he’s been craving to eat someone out, his jaw is flexing as his tongue works over your slit, going from little licks to gentle sucks “Mh, Bjorn was right, such pathetic noises comin’ from ya’, you we’re jus’ sittin’ ere’ beggin’ ta’ be touched, pathetic almost..”He hums against your core, sending jolts of pleasure through your body “taste so sweet though, sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted thats f’sure..”He sucks on your clit, your on the brink of orgasm once again, just like before Tyler pulls away from you, licking his lips, you think he’s gonna just walk out now but instead he undoes his belt and thrusts into you, no warning at all for you, he rocks his hips eagerly against you, his rock hard cock aching for release inside of you. “Feel s’ good too, fuck Bjorn wasn’t lying bout’ how tight you are..”He groans. You whimper under him, clenching around him tightly. Tyler burys his face into your neck as he cums inside you, the head of his cock pressing against your insides, your about to cum around him but before you have the chance he pulls out, it’s just cruel at this point. Tyler smirks at you before standing up “well-“he tucks himself back into his pants and does his belt up along with brushing his clothing off “a deals a deal.”he motions to the door, walking out of the cage himself.
you quickly pull your underwear and shorts on, your so relieved you can finally leave, as soon as your about to walk out Tyler slams the door on your face. “C’mon, you really thought you were gonna’ get out tha’ easily?”He mocks, smirking at the anger on your face “sorry luv. Can’t let ya’ out, ma’ cousin clearly has ya’ in ere’ for business reasons.”he says casually before locking the door again and walking back upstairs.
#bjorn alien romulus#bjorn alien romulus fics#bjorn alien romulus x reader#tyler alien romulus#tyler harrison x reader#Tyler alien Romulus fics
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I just read 'Ideal Partner' which was so good and it got me thinking. Do you think the bsd characters could form a romantic relationship with anyone other than gl? This is not a request btw, I just wanted to hear your opinion about this.
They could. They could form relationship (both platonic and romantic) with other people. However, there are some difficulties.
1. During first month of living in Real World, BSD Cast will get used to the real world (noises, people, animals, day/night cycle, ageing...), and they won't be in a place to form new long relationships of any kind. They could form a good relationship with colleagues, but it will be all.
2. GL will remain the most important person in their lives. If someone from BSD Cast will start a romantic relationship with other person, they still will treasure GL. They won't cheat, abuse, neglect or hurt their partner. But, for an outside viewer relationship between BSD Cast and GL might seem toxic (either as an affair, or BSD Cast having a separation problem).
And, if someone, who misunderstood BSD and GL relationship, will offer therapy, BSD Cast will refuse. BSD Cast, understandably, don't want to share truth about their origins. And their "legend" about meeting GL and reasons for cherishing them might pop, if it will be questioned too much. GL will be the only Secret Keeper.
Can BSD Cast have a loving, nice relationship with others? - Yes.
Will it be a "three person relationship"? - Not really, BSD Cast will respect their partner, and GL's choice.
Will the partner be their only? - In romantic sense, yes. In a more "metaphorical" way, no, never.
Little bonus. "BSD's Cast Legend: How we met GL and why we love them so much"
(note. this is somewhat a very WIP part for a future fic. Either for future parts of Anime Convention, or for AC's sequel (that will be a remake for a stalker (We will protect you) fic, or even a third part, that I am planning, for now, to focus on BSD's Cast meeting GL's family)
Yes, I am making plans for two sequels, for a fic, that is still in a making, and real plot of which hasn't really started yet.
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"Bots." shrugged you, recalling the legend you and BSD Cast came up with. Your father raised an eyebrow.
"Bots?" his gaze made you uncomfortable. Thankfully, Dazai noticed your expression. He stand before you, giving your father a big, slightly silly smile.
"Yes, bots! [Y/N] were such a great person..."
And Dazai started talking. About BSD Cast knowing each other before they met you. About having some serious problems in real life. About trying to take part in a testing of psychological help bots. About you deciding to take part in same testing out of boredom. About some strange mishap, which ended in BSD Cast and you getting in one chat room, without any bots. About misunderstanding, where both sides assume, that they were talking to a bot. About you taking up a role of a "therapist" for "bots" (a.k.a. BSD Cast) and your words and advises being exactly what they need. About discovering the truth. And about gratitude BSD Cast felt towards their "therapist", no, towards their "friend".
Dazai was talking and talking, and his smile didn't dissapear even for a moment .
________
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To US People:
At this point, most polls are closed. Votes are functionally entirely in, it's just a matter of counting them.
If you are still in line, stay there, and don't let anyone turn you away. You have the right to vote if you arrived before polls closed.
If you already voted and are watching at home, see above. Things looks scary now, they might improve as more votes come in and they might not. Either way, the fight has just begun to protect the rights we haven't lost and fight for the ones we have lost and should have had but don't yet, and either way burnout is dangerous.
You need rest, you need to take care of yourself. If that means turning off the TV or just changing the channel to something that isn't election coverage for a little bit, do it. If that means reading a comfort fic, or doing art, or baking yourself a treat, or calling a friend to chat, or whatever else, do it.
Best case scenario: we don't have final counts and results for hours still. Some rather important states, we might not know officially until tomorrow between technical issues and the time vote counting takes. We might not even know for a few days (I really hope not, but it is possible, especially if anything gets contested). You can take a break if you need it.
To anyone in the US rn, ik you're stressed. I am too.
Go rest. Go read a comfort fic. Turn on some music. Doodle. Color. Take a nap.
This is a terrifying place we live. But slowly killing yourself won't help. Take care of yourself. Please. <3
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Loz fandom stop being angsty and give the daydreaming kids on big fun adventures with a cool glowing sword some actual whimsy and joy challenge
#It's like the happy media equals angsty fandom and vice versa but like. Video game series about the dreams and adventures of childhood with#A fandom full of angst and abandonment and depression and smut#It's why I don't really stay in the loz fandom long each time I circle back around#There's so much potential for good things and comfort and snuggly warmth and lightheartedness.#Like yeah messed up things happen in front of and to link but kids are resilient beasts and most importantly they fix it#He's literally wearing the Peter pan hat to invoke that sort of eternal wonder that's the DESIGN of the hat that's why it's so identifiable#Fanart captures it a lot. The gorgeous landscapes and quiet moments and dappled sunlight#But fics???? Oh lu fics are just full of miscommunication and resentment and sour interactions and pain and simmering anger#I prefer to read trusted authors because it's so wearing but the problem is you have to go out and find them lol#It's a very controversial belief of mine that every link enjoyed their adventure even if it was scary or sad and would not be averse to#Another. Oh the circumstances they might hate. But link has never been one to refuse the call#That's the POINT they stepped up when the adults couldn't it's their COURAGE that they'd be fastest to volunteer.#Unrelated but post game botk is adhd central you can do literally whatever you want and whatever pace and you just drift around getting#Distracted and teleporting all over and setting challenges and poking around every nook and cranny#Like botw I had over 300 koroks and 98% map completion. I maxed out hero's path twice over. Totk I've just been wandering around#Speed farming lynels like 17 different goals drifting from one to the other as I wish. Still missing the last 2 sage orbs NO idea where#There's like a million hinoxs now tf#loz#legend of zelda#lu#linked universe#ao3
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things you can't get back
aka i've been waiting so patiently to see kidd get his ass beat by shanks (affectionate)
#fun fact i am an anime only-er#because i'm watching it with someone who hasn't read the manga and i don't want to get ahead of them. we're in this together#but i was very aware of how the fight went in advance lmao#(and i may or may not be writing a fic that this is based on)#just smth about killer warning kidd they might not be so lucky as to survive this time#and kidd saying “oh well that's only if i lose!” is very interesting to me#bc kidd cares for his crew a lot but he is also very arrogant. and so he kind of fails to consider their safety bc he's so confident#he's not stupid he knows the risk to his own life. but there is an entire crew of people behind him who could also die#who he is currently disregarding a little bit. which i think was kind of killer's point in warning him#trying to get him to maybe reconsider on his own bc he's going to do what kidd says regardless#even if he thinks its an awful idea#and i just think kidd should get to go through the horrors over the outcome. just a little (a lot)#since killer tried to talk him out of it and he didn't listen and now they're all kinda fucked#i love him a lot and i want him to suffer deeply#what is a man without crushing guilt#kidkiller#eustass captain kidd#eustass kid#massacre soldier killer#killer one piece#one piece#one piece fanart#my art
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I wasn't going to reblog, but then I saw the tags.
#on thin ice #aziraphale: I like pairs 🥺
the amount of good omens references i have squeezed into this fic… some subtle and some not so much. but i’m particularly proud of the ones that also happen to be figure skating puns. i feel so powerful
#when i tell you i immediately turned around and hit reblog#this may have made my whole day#i don't even read this fic but now i might???#i know nothing about figure skating#good omens#good omens fanfiction#on thin ice#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#good omens fandom
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im so emotionally attached to jason grace it's not even funny atp. i literally think about him all day, I'm not exaggerating pls someone tell me they feel this way too 😮💨
#i actually might need to stop posting jason grace content for a while bc it's getting overwhelming lmao. the hyperfixation is REAL#I have so many ideas about him to post that i had to write it down on my notes app 😭#it's gotten so bad that I have attention span issues to do real life tasks bc I just wanna keep talking abt jason's character all day-#i actually went like 1/2 months without a jason grace hyper fixation. that's around the time I was inactive on tumblr#but these past few weeks the hyper fixation is hitting me harder. I'm pretty sure you can tell by how many posts i spammed this week#the fact that the jason grace x reader community isn't as active as it was back then is also not helping my hyperfixation at all#there used to be HEAPS of them every day that I looked forward to reading them every morning now I can't even see 2 in a week#i used these fics as an 'aid' for my attachment and still kinda do#also don't even get me started on how his death devastates me every single day omg like I feel genuine RAGE#pjo fanfic#pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#percy jackson#percy jackson fandom#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo fandom
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I was dead asleep and woke up like a fucking zombie with the thought of “I wonder if when people go to Danny’s Grave to offer their condolences or whatever people do, if Danny can only hear it when he is a ghost.” I’m imagining it like an answering machine, you don’t actually know the message unless you play it back. This idea has probably been said before, but it’s 4 a.m and I’ve written 6 college papers in the last 24 hours. I wasted good sleep for this random bunny.
This premise lies solely on the fact of Danny actually having a grave stone, for people to go to.
That being said, a lot of people don’t go to Cemeteries every time they think of someone who passed away. Personally, with my Great Grandmother, when I want to remember her I bring out her old cookbooks and make her favourite recipes. And I talk to her the entire time I’m cooking. Especially during Harvest Fest.
So, in that mindset, can Danny hear everything people say when they’re remembering him? Cause that could get really annoying really fast for a boy who’s still half alive.
Like he’s partnered up with Wes on a Chemistry project and all that’s going through his head when he’s fighting a ghost when they’re supposed to meet up is “Danny Fenton, Danny Phantom, why isn’t he here already? I didn’t see a ghost on the news” or something like that. Don’t judge the dialogue literally have had 2 hours of sleep the last 3 days cause of work and classes.
Someone please, if this is a thing and there are fics about it drop them in the comments. Is that pick me? To ask you to comment? Anyways, i should try and get back to bed.
This is not proofread and I didn’t even put on my glasses for it, so if it’s clunky/there are misspelled words, no there aren’t.
#still don't know how to tag properly#adhd#danny fenton#danny phantom#wes weston#can you tell I’m tired?#not proof read#seriously drop fics in the comments#I didn’t even expand on the og idea#too late now#i’m too tired for this#asking my brain why#I’m also so sick right now#on three different meds to help me get better so the meds might be playing a key role in whatever the hell this is#I’m not sorry for it#I just wish it was more thought out ya know#my cat is laying on my legs#I can never move again#I forgot what this was about for a second#honestly just shoot me#I still have 3 papers to write tomorrow;;#who said uni was fun? it isn’t
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can someone please banish this writer's block for me 😫
it's the worst i've had in such a long time and i've tried to be patient with it but it's been fucking weeks now. i want to write so much but whenever i try they just feel like words on a page. every evening i sit down and rearrange them a little here and there and add some new ones, but they all just feel empty and and shit and my brain feels totally devoid of the creative spark i need to make everything come to life.
i know in large part it's my perfectionism getting in the way, but i don't know how to break through it. i don't know how to feel connected to my writing again. i don't know how to shift this fear of not being good enough that surges up every time i pick up a pen.
it's something that's always been there - but usually it at least comes in waves, or my love of what i'm creating is big enough to muffle it. right now, it's all i can hear. my inspiration has been totally drowned out by it. and i hate it so, so much. the fact that i can't access the one thing that brings me the kind of solace and joy and escapism i can't get anywhere else and is so vital to my soul. that i am blocking myself from engaging in the one thing that makes me feel like me.
i just feel so stuck and so lost and i miss being in that creative headspace so much it’s like a physical pain. it feels like part of me is missing, and it terrifies me that i don't know how to get it back.
#rambling this out in the hopes it might help me shift something#please feel free to ignore#it's incredibly frustrating because i have been SO excited to write these next few chapters of four walls for literal months#and i do have a decent chunk of the next chapter done#and also bits written for later sections too#but i just. i can't get into the headspace#it all just feels so far away and whenever i try and write it's like i'm pushing it even further away#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#i hate this so much#(and don't even get me started on my original stuff or my bang fic 🫠)#also anyone who's reading this and feeling worried about four walls being updated#please don't be#it's 2am and i'm being dramatic#i'll find a way to make it all work again because i love that fic with my whole heart#i just don't know how to shift this right now and i needed somewhere to vent#if anyone has any words of wisdom or writer's block cures please share 🫶#writing stuff#lulu posts
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I think one of the things that I find so compelling about Minkowski & Eiffel is that I believe that who they each are as people means they have the inherent potential to have immensely positive impacts on each other, but I do not believe they would have even been friends in most possible scenarios in which they could have met. I believe they are uniquely attuned to help each other grow and develop and become better versions of themselves, but for the first year and a half of them living and working together, the prevailing emotion between them was irritation. I believe that they are able to support each other through hardship in a way no one else could, but without the specific kind of hardship they went through, they might never have known this.
And even as I acknowledge that they might never have bonded without the trauma, it's important to me that it's not that they are bonded purely by trauma, in a way that might imply Minkowski or Eiffel could have built the same bond with anyone who'd been up there with them.
They are bonded by the ways in which they care for each other, by the ways in which their contrasting personalities make them uniquely well suited to support each other, by the way Eiffel makes Minkowski laugh when she really needs to, by the way Minkowski would do anything to keep Eiffel safe, by the way Eiffel reminds Minkowski of her moral compass in her darkest moments, by the way Minkowski helps Eiffel understand that some things are worth taking seriously.
But without what they went through together, they might never have seen beyond their surface-level understandings of each other in order to form this incredibly valuable friendship. It's not that their traumatic experiences are all that bond them. It's that the traumatic experiences forced them to break past the initial barriers that prevented them from connecting with each other properly and from trying to understand each other, in order to realise the potential for connection that had always been there.
#Wolf 359#w359#Doug Eiffel#Renée Minkowski#Renee Minkowski#This is true to a lesser extent of some other Wolf 359 dynamics#like Minkowski & Hera#and maybe Minkowski & Lovelace#whereas I kind of think that at least personality-wise Eiffel and Hera would vibe together in most potential circumstances#although obviously other circumstances in which Eiffel and Hera would be able to meet and get to know each other are potentially limited#and in other circumstances they might not understand each other as well as they do in canon#Back in the day I did read a fair few AU fics for Wolf#and they can be fun#but this is a plausibility issue with them for my understanding of the show now#like if Eiffel was Minkowski's college roommate#or her co-worker at a more normal job#it saddens me to say that I don't think they would be friends#and if they aren't friends what's even the point#the empty man posteth#I am still writing that DSSPPM essay btw. I'm just also always thinking about this#Some of this is frankensteined from a longer post I had in my drafts#that I started writing ages ago in response to people saying the Hephaestus crew aren't found family cos they are just trauma bonded#Explaining my argument in response to that is tricky#They wouldn't have formed those connections without the trauma#but the connections aren't *about* the trauma#They're about each other#Eiffel & Minkowski
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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This cat has a PhD
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Fanart for Panthera by @idrewacow
I cannot recommend this fic enough, it is an absolute delight so far. It's a classic, traditionally lighthearted fanfiction trope being handled dead serious and it's everything I didn't know I needed. It doesn't hesitate to dig its claws (haha) into visceral discomfort for our lead, but it still has moments that made me laugh out loud. Can't wait to see what happens next!
#my art#fanart#panthera fic#vocaloid#I did my best to follow the written description for this design#She might be a LITTLE too pretty for a confirmed inexpensive cat#but I can't help myself she's just like that#little design notes#the stripe pattern on her back is inspired by octopus tentacles#and I tried. so hard to make the '03' on her front leg look natural#I know blue eyes are a bit on the rare side#but I thought it would be extra fun and spooky to have slightly-too-human eyes hinting that smth isn't right#idk this might be way off but I had a lot of fun making it#if you ask me for fanfic recommendations#I'll tell you to read Years of Science#Entanglement#and Panthera#just trust me#even if you don't know anything about vocaloid you can enjoy it#y'all know I'm fussy about my fanfics#I'm the chelldos *queen* and there's chelldos fics I wouldn't recommend#so if I'm telling you to read a vocaloid fic instead that means smth#perfect time for the fun fact that glados and miku are almost the same age#2007 babies#two queens tbh#I'm back in my vocaloid era now after ten thousand years#what will I do
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what's crazy to me is multiple times i've received encouragement to start drawing again, even when i mention that the only reason i've considered drawing again is as a desperate ploy for attention
but whenever i talk about my writing i either get ignored or told to "write for yourself"
like just tell me you don't value writing as an art form. it'll be easier than having to dance through whatever the fuck this is
#One's Notebook#me: yeah i think i might draw again specifically because i know people are more supportive of something that requires less power on their#part to consume and im really desperate for attention because despite participating in fandom for a decade i've never found a community#and i really would like to make some friends so i'm not alone all the time#someone: oh that's such a great reason to start drawing you should draw i support everyone learning how to draw!#me: hey i wrote this fic and i know it's not necessarily your favorite ship but i'd really appreciate if you read it/left a comment#someone: lol what kind of a fucking freak are you? i'm not going to waste my time reading something that isn't within my immediate interest#write for yourself how dare you even think to ask people to support your WRITING#venting#i'll probably delete this#it's just crazy to me how much people don't value writing at all but they won't admit it#i actually hate the “write for yourself” rhetoric now because it's only ever used to tear writers down#or for writers to tear themselves down before anyone else can#or worse#for writers to feel superior to other writers who are desperate little freaks who dared to want to share their creation
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