#i don't even need to add a single damn thing

[ingravinoveritas]

angelsadvocate96 replied to your post "I am entirely floored at the discourse that's been…"

Calling him "nonpracticing" erases all of his sexuality, not just the part they don't want to see. He has 2 children under age 5, so he's clearly been "practicing," making the term is demonstrably untrue. Michael's sexuality is palpable, you can feel it through the screen. To deny any part of that is not only dehumanizing but de-Michaelizing.

@angelsadvocate96

[ingravinoveritas]

^^^^^

“So this [Good Omens] was what brought us together, into the new love story for the twenty-first century!” - Michael Sheen, the #1 shipper over here.

[verystressedcollegestudent]

if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites

[https-lvesick]

CAUGHT ON CAMERA — starring f!reader x na jaemin (ft. jeno and haechan, the perverts)

jeno and haechan know they can always count on their best friend, jaemin, and that's why they borrow his camera for a project. they just didn't expect to get the wrong camera... and enjoy every second of it.

content 𖹭 jaem!big dick, sex tape (size diff, breeding, stomach bulge, fingering, slight nipple sucking, m!oral + cum eating), m!masturbation

notes 𖹭 another big thanks for my baby @sinisxtea for proofreading this!

it wasn't unusual to see na jaemin walking around the campus carrying a camera and photographing everything he found cool. the devoted photography student had an unique artistic view, in his mind, anything could be turned into art. ordinary objects, situations and even some students were his objects of art, but there was only one thing, precious enough to worth his devotion: you. jaemin's object of adoration. he was so committed to you and to show the beauty of every single thing you'd do, he bought a camera exclusively for you.

that camera was special. It could only support videos and photos of you. you could be doing anything. playing with stray cats, eating, painting your nails, putting on some makeup, but his favourite moments were the intimate ones.

jaemin just... he couldn't handle your preciousness. in every aspect, he felt the need, the urge to capture and keep your beauty. especially when you put on a little show just to show him your new lingerie set. or maybe when you were choking with his cock down your throat, your makeup smudged all over your face. fuck... he could list every video that the camera had ever captured.

and knowing how committed, na jaemin, a third-year photography student, was to his major, donghyeok, his roommate, thought he could borrow one of his cameras for a project.

“did you even ask him for it, you dumbass? what if he took his camera with him?” jeno comments, leaning on the door frame, watching his friend search for one of the most valuable items for jaemin.

“wasn't he just driving his girl home? why does he need a camera for that?” the younger cusses, messing with jaemin's drawer.

“sure, but you know how in love he is and how he just keeps anything she does.” jeno rolls his eyes, almost giving up on convincing his friend to find an object he didn't even ask permission to use.

“finally!” donghyeok laid his eyes on something deep in the closet. he takes the camera and closes the doors.

“i still think that's the worst idea you've ever had. what if jaemin sees a picture of you there? especially if it's on the camera that, again, was deep in his closet.” jeno emphasizes his last words, trying to knock some sense into his friend, but knowing he wouldn't listen, he just adds: “at least check to see if it's charged.”

“that's what i'm trying to do...” donghyeok says focused. the two guys were already sitting in the corner of jaemin's bed. he turned the camera on and you are the first thing they saw, wearing a flowy light blue dress. jaemin and you were on a date and you were showing how to make your boyfriend's favourite sandwich. “how can someone be so pretty...” he murmurs, sighing.

“i don't know...” jeno says, letting himself get lost at the sound of your voice and how your beaming smile could lighten up his whole day. honestly, they can get where all of jaemin's adoration comes from. if he had a girlfriend like you, he'd also keep every single moment to himself. then he realized what he was thinking. “but she's our best friend's girlfriend, right? the camera is fully charged, we can see it, then c'mon.” he stands up, but donghyeok immediately pulls him to sit again.

“c'mon jen, we're already here. this might be the camera he dedicated to her. don't you wanna see more of this... damn sculpture? you sure?” the younger lee skips some photos and videos, stopping at a video where you're wearing a bikini. you were laughing with jaemin while taking off your sundress, talking about going to the water. the focus goes all to your ass, while you walk to the water and they can hear jaemin's mischievous laugh along with a perverted comment.

they knew it wasn't cool to desire their best friend's girlfriend, but were they the ones to blame when you looked that pretty? you looked like some fancy masterpiece sculpted by michelangelo in his peak of inspiration. are they the ones to blame when you looked like aprodithe's daughter yourself, being allowed to live among those poor and useless human beings, gifting them your graciousness? you must be the girl of every guy's dream and they're lucky to have a best friend good enough to win a lotto. at least they get to see you often.

as donghyeok passed the videos, the two guys found themselves more and more immersed in you. and jaemin is completely right to be obsessed with you.

“holy fuck...” haechan whispers, licking his lips before biting his lower lip. jeno comes closer, eyes wide open when he notices what's happening on the video.

“come here.” Jaemin's voice is heard and you comply. you crawl to the corner of the bed, where your boyfriend was, and sit still.

you were wearing an expensive lingerie set that was driving not only one, but three men crazy. the bra hugged your breasts so prettily that they wondered if they'd fit that good in their hands.

“nana... your cock...” you let out a whiny plea. almost purring like a cat. your sparkling eyes, begging your boyfriend to stop flauting you to the camera and to let you suck on him.

it's not that hard to deduce that jaemin may have been lowering his pants.

“haechan, enough.” jeno warns, trying to be rational, but yet his eyes were glued on the little screen that was showing you, kitty licking jaemin's tip, teasing him. you were even rubbing his cock between your breasts, slobbering on it.

“fuck it, he's not here to see what we're doing.” donghyeok says in a low voice, holding the camera in one hand, as the other was lowering his shorts.

“haechan, what the fuck!” the older lee exclaims, completely shocked with his friend's attitude.

“jeno, if you don't wanna stay, then leave. and you better don't open that fucking mouth of yours to jaemin.” he spits on his palm, before dragging it along his shaft, lubricating his length. “but you can't deny the obvious.” haechan laughs, looking at jeno’s pants, before turning his full attention to the video.

jaemin's hand was guiding your head, sucking him off as if it was your life goal. you sucked his tip, forcing your tongue on his slit, making your boyfriend cuss, and squeeze lightly his full balls. he's so fucking good at what he's doing, and so are you. shortly after, he's pulling your hair, prying you off of his cock.

“open that pretty mouth of yours, huh?” he asks, jerking off right on your mouth. In a matter of few seconds, you can taste his salty cum on your tongue and you swallow when he spills more on your boobs.

jeno was standing, thinking about this whole situation. he looked at his friend having fun and looks at his own problem, getting more uncomfortable. the way donghyeok looked so satisfied watching whatever was happening on the screen awakened his interest and desire. fuck, she was his best friend's girlfriend, but... she was fucking pretty and when would he get any opportunity like that again?

“this might be harassment or something like that…” he mumbles, retaking his place beside his friend and frees his cock out of his pants. jeno could see haechan's mischievous smile, so he said first: “don't you even get started, you nasty dog.” even with that said, donghyeok didn't seem very offended, after all, who is he to say anything?

by this time you were already laying in bed, your legs spread for jaemin and the camera, consequently, the two perverts watching that. your glistening cunt gushing your juices, while your boyfriend collected every drop of it with his long fingers, teasing your slit.

“how many?” jaemin asks, threatening to insert the tip of two of his fingers, but never doing it.

“three, nana…” you whine, biting your lower lip, watching your boyfriend smile and tease you, the same way you'd do to him. that's until he inserts the three fingers you requested, all at once.

haechan was sure that sweet, languid, moan would linger in his mind forever. jeno, on the other hand, was sure he will never be able to look at his friend and his girlfriend again. he'd rather throw himself off of the window. as soon as he cums.

with each movement of jaemin's fingers, the wet squelching sound could be heard. it made your eyes roll while jeno and haechan make it an opportunity to fasten their own movements. jeno gulps, looking straight at your wet hole, salivating. fuck, he imagines how good it must be to feel you. he's sure you're tight and nice to be inside of. he tighten his grip, forcing his cock on a tighter hole. haechan also salivates, watching how good you take jaemin's fingers. he stops his hand's movements, thrusting his hips up, imagining it was your pussy he was fucking.

jaemin takes his fingers out of you and the boys could suppose what he was doing. he was tasting you on his own fingers. haechan curses, caressing his balls, and closes his eyes, catching his lower lip between his teeth. jeno slows his rhythm, tracing his fingers along his abs.

your boyfriend hovers over you and kisses you. his free hand traces your body, searching for your bra's clasp, undoing it. you discard the piece, feeling jaemin's wet kisses on your skin, and then you feel his plump lips wrapping around your nipple. you shiver feeling your boyfriend's warm tongue, hugging him.

“jaem…” you call, almost like crying, and jaemin smiles against your skin, understanding well your wish. he pulls the mound of flesh between his teeth making you hiss.

“how could i deny you?” he mocks and stands up, taking off his pants. when he resumes his position above you, he rests his cock on your tummy.

and that's when they realize how smaller than jaemin you are.

“no fucking way! this won't fit, no shit.” donghyeok smiled, clearly having fun. “this might be better than some cheap ass porn i've ever watched in my life.” his eyes lighten up with excitement. jeno only nods, lost in pleasure.

jaemin rubs his tip on your slit, forcing himself slowly. “no matter how many times i fuck you... will you ever open enough for me, darling?” he growls, getting even further inside you.

“jaem, it's too big!” you whine, gripping the bed sheets and closing your eyes, arching your back.

for a moment, your boobs shake and donghyeok loves it, almost losing it. he considers replay that part, but maybe another time, when he's alone.

when jaemin is fully inside you and the bulge is perfectly visible, jeno cums with a grunt. haechan laughs, teasing his friend. “good job, jen! hit it that fast?”

“shut the fuck up, lee donghyeok.” jeno grits his teeth. the truth is, jeno has a thing for bulge. it was the first thing he searched for when he was trying to relieve some stress. it was the first thing he thought when getting laid and now... knowing you were so small that a bulge was surely made on your belly made him see stars.

jaemin moves. starts slow, helping you get used to his size, even if you had done it plenty of times before, he was too big for you, no matter how many times when you were fucked by him, but then he picks up his pace. his hand presses the bulge on your stomach for a while, before gripping your thigh. his rhythm is rough, intense, so much that it makes your breasts move at each snap of his hips. and haechan felt like he was in heaven.

your moans starts to get more desperate and high-pitched. you call your boyfriend's name like a mantra while resting one of your hands on his stomach. jaemin doesn't stop, only picking up his pace, getting even rougher. he feels your pussy gripping his cock, identifying your orgasm. your eyes roll to the back of your skull and your mouth remains wide open for a while until you feel it dry, feeling jaemin squirting all of his seed inside of you.

“you fine, love?” he asks, slowing down his pace, only so you can come down off your high. you can just nod.

jaemin finally turns his camera, focusing right where your bodies meet. he thrusts a few more times, before getting out of you. the moment his cum is seen dripping out of you like a cascade is when haechan loses it, cumming with a whiny moan.

jaemin says something else, but the boys could care less, so donghyeok turns off the camera, putting it on the bed. jeno and haechan remain in silence for a moment.

“this might be the best thing my eyes have ever seen.” “that must be the gayest thing i've ever done.” they say at the same time.

“what?” haechan says.

“c'mon, i saw your cock. plus, i had to hear you moan like a whore. i'm getting insane…” jeno stands up angry, covering his dick again.

“oh, right, 'cause you moan like an alpha, huh?” the younger lee also stands up, bringing the camera with him.

“where do you think you're going with this, haechan?” jeno questions, watching his friend walk past him with the camera in hands.

“if you think i'm not enjoying this pretty little thing right here while i can, you're stupid. and you better not to try and jerk off with me. once was enough.” he says, leaving the room and an astonished jeno behind.

poor jeno, little does he know that haechan won't only watch. maybe he can upload some videos too. seeing jaemin's cock was a little price to pay when he was able to see all of you, spread and wet again.

[ingravinoveritas]

^^^^

Hii! I just saw something that said Michael Sheen had made a fanfic on I think AO3, 1.IS THAT TRUE?? And 2. PLEASE, if it is, show me where it is!

Hiya! :) It is not confirmed that he has written any, but we know he has read it, and is very supportive of fanfiction :)❤.

[azrielwingspan]

'HIGH' PRAISE (AZRIEL X READER)

I am on a roll damn. Another idea that I jotted down as quick as I could. Enjoy !!

Summary: Mirthroot and alcohol can work in your favour sometimes. You have a very interesting conversation with Azriel.

Warnings : Mention of substances, mild swearing. MDNI !

"You are a saviour Y/N." Mor said taking a hit from the mirthroot joint. The party was in full swing downstairs but you and Mor had found solace in her balcony.

"Don't thank me. Thank the male who was nice enough to give it up." you said taking your turn.

The lightness in your head was making you giddy and talkative. You could feel the slight tingle at your nerve ends, you body feeling detached from reality.

"He probably wanted to get into your pants."

"I know."

Mor let out a bark of laughter at that statement and leaned back against the wall. Her eyes had taken on a reddish tinge and you were sure that yours were probably worse. Your mouth felt numb and you smacked your lips cringing at the dryness of your mouth.

"I need something to drink. And eat. Chocolate cake sounds good. Chocolate cake with a side of yoghurt sounds even better. Add some good wine to it. What do you think?" your mind was moving too fast for your mouth to catch up to.

"It sounds terrible. Let's do it." You and Mor giggled clutching each others hands. That was some really strong mirthroot.

You made your way back to the party hyper focusing on every step being taken. Being high and face planting did not seem like a good combination. Your brain was a different entity, screaming at you to act normal. It was a party for fucks sake. Who acts normal anyways?

Grabbing Mor's hand , the both of you made your way over to the drinks table dodging your way through familiar faces. You refused to speak to anyone until you got your hands on the wine.

After chugging down half a bottle to quench your thirst, you noticed Azriel sitting with another male chatting about something.

"Mor."

"Yeah?"

"I think Azriel and I would make a fantastic couple."

The shattering of glass snapped you out of your hyper focused state for a beat.

It wasn't Mor.

Oh.

Back to hyper focused state.

"You would." she responded , a completely serious expression gracing her face.

"Should we tell him?" you asked, an illegal amount of bravery shooting through your veins. Not a single cell in your body thought this was a bad idea.

A new wave of idiocy hit you. The effects of the wine and mirthroot combined were doing wonders for your sanity right now.

"We should. Come on." This time, Mor was the one dragging you through the crowd, once again dodging everyone.

"Az!"

He turned to look at Mor, his own slightly glazed from the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

"Y/N thinks---"

The male that was speaking to Azriel stood up and interrupted Mor, asking for a dance. Immediately forgetting why she was there, Mor walked away with him leaving you with Azriel.

"What do you think?" Az asked, his voice husky. Ugh, it was doing strange things to you.

"I think---"

"Are you high?" Az asked, holding in his laugh.

"Az you idiot. You never ask someone who's high if they're high. Way to ruin it!"

"Okay my bad. Sorry. Come here."

He motioned to the space next to him on the couch.

"No. No. I have chocolate cake plans. I just wanted to let you know that I think...and Mor thinks as well...that we would make a fantastic couple. I mean look at you. Look at me. Stunners. Jaw droppingly good looking. What's stopping us?"

Az looked thoroughly amused as you continued defending your statement.

"Y/N." he said stopping you before you went off on a different tangent. "Come here." This time he motioned to his lap.

Yeah chocolate cake could wait.

You went over and sat down sideways on his lap, wrapping you arms around his shoulders while his hands found their place on your hips.

"Tomorrow, I want you to come to me and tell me the same thing. Then we'll see how well this fantastic couple thing works out yeah?"

He touched his forehead to yours , the affectionate gesture bringing a grin to your face.

"Okay."

"Good girl. Now come on let's get you some chocolate cake."

"Fantastic."

[jasmineoolongtea]

geto suguru isn't exactly sure how he got here.

there are a lot of other things he probably should be doing on a thursday afternoon after school and waiting here in an abandoned classroom for you, like some kind of lovesick puppy, is definitely not on that list of things to do.

he entertains the thought of leaving for a second but that idea goes straight out of the window when he sees your face appear in the doorway.

"sorry for being late. i hope i didn't make you wait for too long." you apologise with a bashful smile as you stumble into the empty classroom.

you're slightly out of breath to the point where you have to take a second before speaking, your cheeks are flushed with colour and suguru thinks you've never looked more beautiful than now.

"no, it's fine. i don't mind waiting for you."

he's pretty sure that he could wait forever if he knew you were there on the other side though you don't need to know that.

when you place your hand in his and he rests his against your waist, he can't help but think about how well you fit into him like it was moulded just for him and he wonders for a split second if there's even a chance that you share a fraction of what's going through his mind right now.

your moves are awkward and unsure, 'all because of your two left feet' (in your own words, not his), and while even the most patient of people would have been on their last straw with how many times you've accidentally stepped on his feet, to suguru, they just add to your unique charm that he's certain he'll spend lifetimes searching for anything that might come close to it.

as much as he wants to pull away because you have this strange effect on him where you can render him breathless in the blink of an eye with a single touch or stray glance, he also hates each and every second he can't be in your presence and this is one of the few moments he's afforded some respite from the enormity of his feelings.

suguru isn't a masochist (as far as he's aware) however you're making him reconsider a lot of things about himself.

truth be told, he doesn't even know why he agreed to this in the first place, he damn well knows that he is probably the furthest thing from a professional dancer and there's a part of him that feels bad for lying straight to your face but when he sees how relieved you are when he agrees to your request, he's sure that lying can't be that bad in the grand scheme of things.

"you should..." he trails off, fall for me instead.

"hmm? what did you say suguru?"

you're looking at him so expectantly like you truly want to know what he's going to say next and he wishes that you would always look at him like that for if that was the case, he might just have the courage to spill the thoughts that plague his every waking moment.

"oh, no i was just saying that you should not worry so much. i'm sure you'll be fine." actually, he's sure you'll do more than fine but once again, he bites his tongue.

maybe if he was more brazen and cared less about him, he would curse out satoru for being such a lucky bastard, so lucky in fact, that he gets to be the one who can hold you in his arms. unfortunately for him, he's not that type of person, and even worse for him, he doesn't live in a world where he's the one who has your stomach in knots.

the sun is setting below the horizon and soon, the world will be plunged into a familiar darkness there's an uncomfortable feeling pooling within his gut that tells him that this moment can't last forever and you'll go running back into the arms of someone you truly belong with (no matter how much he tries to will it into existence).

nevertheless, he'll take one night of slow dancing with you in the dark over nothing and foolishly pretend that this is something that it isn't.

[buckyalpine]

Fic idea - Bucky’s family & time travel

You know how I keep proposing ideas, then adding it to my wips and then I stare at it while it stares at me. Heres another. I'm so sorry. Swear this will end in fluff, you'll just suffer in between. So imagine the most angstiest angst where Bucky gets married and has a child with his sweetheart before he’s sent to war. He's loved her his whole life and now they have a little one together; nothing could be more perfect. He promises he'll be back safe and sound with a kiss to her forehead and plenty of kisses for his baby girl.

Until Hydra captures him and turns him into the Winter Soldier. His first mission is to eliminate any familial ties. He doesn't feel anything when he pulls the trigger. He's successful and carries out hundreds of others kills, each searing itself in some part of his brain but he's constantly wiped before he can piece anything together.

But then he's rescued and he has to pick up the broken fragments of his memories and its too much of a fog for him to understand. At the very least he has his best friend by his side again and he's slowly starting to remember.

His first question is about his sweet y/n and his little girl.

His happiness is short-lived when Steve doesn't say anything. Bucky doesn't understand why he avoids his gaze, why he suddenly looks so distraught. No amount of pleading or begging works, his best friend doesn't breathe a word, asking Bucky to please let things be.

To learn to live with the way things were.

He can't do that though. He needs answers. When the team is away on a mission, he find a way to get into his records that SHIELD kept on him, wondering if they ever had anything on file about his life before he was captured. Every single detail about who he was before the war to after is written with details and camera footage.

He doesn't move from where he's seated, a blank expression on his face while everyone returns. Steve approaches Bucky first, worried about why the soldier looked so pale as if he'd aged 10 years in the past 3 days.

"I killed them?" His broken whisper of a voice breaks Steve's heart when he sees the file Bucky was looking at, a picture of him, his little girl on his shoulders and wife all smiling at the camera. The sheet he's clutching onto has their names along with deceased written write across the sheet.

Bucky is inconsolable.

His dreams are no longer about others he has killed. He's flooded with memories of her; the soft ivory dress she wore on their wedding day, the baby pink lace she had on when he undressed her that same night, the scent of her perfume, the sound of her laugh, the kicks of their baby, the sound of her happy squeals when he blew raspberries onto her chubby cheeks.

Those happy memories are quickly replaced with her pleading for him to remember. To just remember at least once.

Jamie, it's me, please, m'your y/n, Bucky, don't-

D-daddy?

Baby, go to your room-Bucky no-

Mama!

Please, not Bella, James, you love her baby, you love us- please remember me-

I-I love you

The pain of Bucky's cries are too much for anyone to handle. They're a different type of sadness. So much so, even Tony's starting to worry when he doesn't see Bucky for days on end. He begs to be put back in cyro, to have his memories wiped, to have his brain fried, anything to forget. He doesn't care about the pain, he just wants it all to end.

Imagine theres a mission that involves time travel. Steve and Sam stand on the platform, ready to enter the portal, setting their timers for a specific date in the past. When Sam catches Steve adding another date without telling him, he quietly adds it on his suit as well, piecing what the Captain plans on doing.

The mission takes a little longer than anticipated. Steve is surprised when Sam is beside him when he travels back to the 40's, the both of them now with a new mission in mind, alternating the future be damned. If they had a chance to give Bucky the life he deserved again, they would do it. Bucky doesn't ask for much. In fact he never asked for anything. He deserved this.

Imagine the shock everyone gets when the portal opens up at the compound and there are now 4 people on the platform. Steve, Sam, a woman and a little girl no older than 2. She's dressed in a simple dotted dress, still wearing an apron around her waist while her baby stays clinging around her, tucking her face into her mommas neck.

Imagine the way Bucky would collapse with her when he sees his family again, crying endlessly being able to hold his wife and child, something he thought he'd lost forever. Everyone gives the little family some privacy while he hugs and kisses them, cuddling them to his chest, still right on the lab floor. Explanations for everything can wait, right now he can't believe he has his angels back.

Imagine the way they'd fall asleep that night, sleeping in bed for once, now that he's reunited with his y/n and his Bella.

imagine the endless love he'd make to her while Bella spends time with her God Fathers, aka all the Avenger men.

Imagine she's pregnant soon after and they can continue being a family in the present, doing all the things they always dreamed of.

Anyway, just a thought.

[nightmarist]

Some Zevlor Things —

EDIT 12/2/23: Added a few more things

A fellow Tiefling Hellrider, Tilses, is with him in the caves acting as his bodyguard. He sometimes calls her Tilly.

There is one bedroll in the caves shoved off in the far corner with a book titled "The Devil You Know: An Autobiography" - not sure if it's his personal writing or if he's reading it, either way it adds to the flavor of his of his tiefling pride (and/or anguish).

It reads:

Have you ever had a god change your blood? It is a horrifying thing, even for those who may desire it. Yet few tieflings wished for Asmodeus to claim their bodies, only be given no choice in the matter. It is not as if we were well-loved before the archdevil's gambit. Our people have always struggled against the notion of 'devilkin', as if a single drop of infernal ichor inescapably corrupts. How amusing, when so many others willingly sell their souls to fiends, yet their culture as a whole escapes the blame. By what method can we redeem ourselves, when the crime is not ours? I would drive a blade into every warlock that aided Asmodeus' damned ritual, but personal vengeance cannot undo the will of a god, much less one as slippery as the Lord of Lies. When every passerby thinks you a thief and heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one. (cut off) The only thing that has stopped me is knowing Asmodeus wants nothing more than for all of us to fall from grace.

Around the his table are Invasion Plans for Elturgard, Traveler's Guide to Baldur's Gate, Traveler's Guide to the Sword Coast Vol IV: The Risen Road (which aligns when he tells you earlier there are gnolls on the road), and "Front and Center: a Thespian's Memoir" that reads:

"... in fact, the greatest joy of my life hasn't been acting, but becoming. When you choose a character to play, you don't just wear a mask - you take a little bit of their soul for your own. Whoever you are in your heart of hearts, if only by the faintest note."

Zevlor aside I think this is a sweet quote for the player and player character relationship <3

Dialogue in the Caves:

Zevlor: I Hardly need a bodyguard, Tilses. This isn't Avernus. Tilses: No sir. At least the monsters there looked like monsters.

—

Tilses: Commander— Zevlor: Just Zevlor, Tilly. We're civilians now, remember? Tilses: With respect, sir — being a Hellrider is for life. They can't take — Zevlor: They can, and did. Avernus changed things — best we get used to that. Tilses: ... Yes, Zevlor

—

Tilses: The Watch or the Flaming Fist? Zevlor: Pardon? Tilses: When we get to Baldur's Gate. Where are we enlisting? Zevlor: I'm done soldiering, Tilly. I'd like a clean start. But go with the Watch. You're too honest to be a mercenary.

—

Zevlor: No word from the scouts, yet? Tilses: No sir. But if there's a clear path past the goblins, they'll find it. Zevlor: Yes, of course.

ITEMS —

in the Chest there is a bronze goblet, 46 gold, and a battle-worn blade. On his person he has his gloves (Hellrider's Pride), an apple, a camp supply pack, and the key to his chest.

The blade says:

A fine by well-used sword. It seemed to have once belonged to a holy order, but the indication of rank and patron deity at the hilt have recently been filed down.

The gloves' flavor text says:

A waft of sulphur emanates from this proudly-kept piece.

Celebration at the Camp:

"I should be out there, talking with them. In... Just a moment, maybe." "Is this everyone? Our numbers have grown so few..." "No more. I can't afford to lose any more of them." "No. Let them have fun. I'll be ruining it come morning anyway."

Mindfayer Colony:

Things he mumbles in the Pod:

The pod will show you his memories of Elturel:

After saving Zevlor, I forced myself to pick the "mean" options just to see how it goes.

If you tell him its his fault tieflings were imprisoned in moonrise, he says:

If you tell him "Do yo have a right to ask?" when he asks about the tieflings:

He doesn't argue with any of your remarks except one, when he says "For a moment I welcomed it" and you tell him "For a moment until you realized your reward would be a tadpole" he corrects you:

If you tell him if he wanted power he should live up to his own ideal:

If you tell him to get out of your sight:

When you tell him it's not his fault he was enthralled:

If you tell him "Fine. Good luck, Zevlor."

If you say you could use another blade in the fight to come:

At the Netherbrain:

(smiling <3)

"The journey has been brutal, but I stand here a Hellrider once more, and I would die a proud man if I died this day."

I know it's a Soldier thing to be proud to die for a cause but it still makes me worry for him given his background so far <:]

If you click on him, he has two unvoiced lines:

if you pickpocket him at this point, he'll have the same items on him as before (in this save he has a carrot instead of an apple for me).

His stats at this time: (Steeped in Bliss is from one of my items)

Post Game (Patch 5)

I don't know if there are other permutations of this letter, yet, but this is what I received:

I hope my penmanship has improved somewhat in the past months. When I first stumbled into this city, I shook so badly that I could scarcely hold the soup the priests pressed into my hands - let alone write and thank you as you deserve. It is only when the city itself began to shake that I felt my hands grow still. Along with the other veterans sheltering at the temple - discards of Elturel's 'unworthy' legions - I watched that monstrosity rise over the city. We felt no fear. Only anger. Disgust. Purpose - and with it, power. I do not know what oath we cling to now, or how long it will last - but we shall use it to ensure that this city will not suffer as Elturel did. Whether it wants us or not. It is more than thanks alone I owe. No words can make amends for what I did to my people, but that is as it should be. More come to the temple every day to aid in the relief efforts, and if I am permitted to work alongside them, then I am content. Come and see us, when you can. Zevlor

It's interesting — if not bitterswet, tragic, and inspiring — to hear that Zevlor and other Paladins regained their Oaths via pure, stubborn devotion to saving people when it began to look as bad as Elturel.

[tan1shere]

Bite It Lick It Spit It - where'd you put it (extra)

A/n: thought I'd add a lil smth smth since everyone's loving the previous story, enjoy you horny mfs MUAH 💋

Warnings - suggestiveness not really any smut. Still mdni just in case doe <3

The original - masterlist

After that blissed out night, you've been wearing that underwear. All. The. Time. And she loved it, it drove her mental. Whether you were just wearing a plain t-shirt with them around the house. You'd wear them with skirts in public. You were like an intoxicating drug in her eyes, mind and soul. She truly couldn't get enough.

So much so, you found them missing on occasion. Either they were in the wash, or Ms Eilish had them somewhere in her possession. Theyd tend to go missing when you take them off after a long day. Her fucking favorite. Once you eventually caught on it was her doing the abducting, you came to her. Justtt to ask. Even though you had all the idea on why she did.

"Bils." You say going over to her and patting her down. "Frisky much?" She replies. "Where on earth have you put them." She brings her finger up to her lips. " 's a secret." You roll your eyes. "Billieeee." "Fine fine, they're probably in my pants on the sofa in our room." Your eyebrow raises. "Probably?" She shrugs. "Orrr they could be in a few others- I can't remember which." You sigh at the response. "You're crazy." You say heading for the stairs. "For you? Fuck yeah baby!"

It had become a habit that she'd stick them in her Jean pants. She'd take it to work sometimes forgetting where she was, and the fact she still had them in there until Finneas embarrassed the shit out of her. Or more so herself.

"We could maybe do something like this-" He began to speak about the stuff they were working on, when he noticed something on the floor. He knew Clauds underwear and that was something she definitely didn't own. "What on earth." He bends slightly, picking it up. Billies eyes widen, so incredibly wide her eyes might've popped out. Her cheeks go so red, snatching them out of his hand. Fuck, you dumbass idiot. She swallows. There was an awkward silence wondering how he was going to react. When this dude, let's out the wheeziest laugh known to man.

Billies eyes rest, almost glearing at him. "That is not funny, I can't believe that just fucking happened." He tries to control his laughter. "You truly are a dumbass." She swats his arm but he just continues his giggles. "Back to work come on." She spits, having enough of the laughing. "I was like- hmm Claudia doesn't own anything this-" "FINNEAS." She groans. He just laughs some more, she was never living that down. But Billie being Billie she eventually joins in on the laughing, shaking her head at the silly situation.

Yet again you were on the search for them, looking through most of her pants. You gave up in the end, calling her.

"You have them as we speak don't you."

"Well damn, you caught me."

Even during she needed them. Just the fact such a tight slutty thing was on your body for the whole day drove her wild, she didn't care in the slightest how filthy any action may be. Sniffing them, so on and so on. One of her filthy fantasies was you having them in your mouth, as you rode her. Just dangling there between your teeth. You were a tad bit confused at why she requested that, but the way she'd moan under you. The way she'd say your name. The feeling of her fingertips on the skin of your thighs as you rode her. Mixed in with your tits bouncing in her face. It was foul, but she enjoyed every single bit of it.

She was so thankful you went into that shop that day. Blessing not only you with a pretty pair of new underwear. But her aswel, getting the pleasure of witnessing it first hand.

You're welcome

[creedslove]

SWEET HOLE 🍑

Post!outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel is an ass man and he's never pretended otherwise and now it's time he teaches you how to stretch up for him before you can take him whole

Warnings: porn with no plot pure filthy dirty smut, p! in v!, ass play, ass eating (reader receiving), ass fingering (reader receiving) mentions of oral sex, edging, overstimulation, dirty talk, daddy kink (but not really as I only used the word twice as it felt right), age gap, light spanking and a little of biting kink if you squint

A/N: this was dirty and i am not even sorry about it. Also, I picked post outbreak Joel though it adds nothing to the story, i just needed some dirty old man loving atm, also i don't know how to write joel properly but i do have a lot of hormones so i choose to continue

1.4k words

Joel had been sweet talking to you for weeks at how he would like to try your sweet tight hole, he knew from day one Joel was an ass man, you assumed that just by the way he touched your cheeks, squeezed them spanked them at all opportunities he had. At first, he didn't make any moves towards that, you were getting to know each other and though the sight of your tight hole made his cock twitch even more whenever you were all spread for him, he wasn't sure if you were into it, and much to his pleasure, he found out you were quite innocent in that area.

He didn't want to pressure you into doing anything you didn't want to, but he told you you should try before saying no.

You said you'd think about it as you weren't so sure. You loved Joel and how your body responded to his, how you felt like you were on fire every time he touched you and how wet you got at the simplest stroke on your skin. Besides, he would never hurt you, would he?

But he was so damn big, you didn't know how it would fit.

Joel couldn't hold back the pride to know why you were so scared, he wasn't going to lie, it felt pretty good to know you thought his cock was massive to the point of not fitting. Quite a compliment for the old dog.

He patiently explained to you things weren't like that, he wasn't just going to split you open, he was going to prepare you, get you used to it and when you were comfortable and stretched enough you'd try. He assured you you didn't even have to do everything at once, he just wanted to show you how good it felt.

You agreed.

You trusted him blindly and knew Joel would take good care of you, he always did.

You came out of the shower fresh and clean and Joel was lying in bed, resting after his latest patrol. He was tired but his mind was all the time on you. He smiled as he saw you entering the room, the first thing he noticed was your sweet smell. Joel was crazy about how good your hair smelled, and he loved sleeping with his nose buried in it.

"Baby girl" he smiled and took you by the hand, pulling you closer "missed you, baby" he said burying his face into your neck, kissing it gently, as his teeth scraped your skin softly.

You moaned and gripped his hair gently, feeling his graying curls in your hands.

You stripped down your towel, smiling at how Joel stopped everything he was doing to admire your body.

He'd seen you naked so many times but it always felt like the first one.

"I'm ready Joel, you can do what you want with me, daddy"

•••

One hour later, Joel had you in bed whimpering and moaning for you. He spent every single minute edging you, eating your soaked pussy like a starving man. Alternating between suckling on your sensitive bud and nibbling softly.

You were ruined by that man, your clit throbbed on its own, and Joel loved to see it, holding your lips spread and seeing how you clenched your cunt for him, your little hard clit twitching as you looked for any kind of friction.

His erection was painfully hard, but he was patient when the occasion required.

He tapped your thighs gently and looked at you, the lower part of his face glistened with your juices, and he smirked as he licked his lips, not wasting one tiny drop of you.

"Come on baby, now I need you on your knees and hands, ass right up in the air, like my sweet little whore" he watched you as you obeyed him.

Joel placed a pillow under your stomach and helped you adjust your hips. His calloused hands ran up and down the back of your thighs, until they reached your cheeks.

He rubbed them so gently, caressing your skin and squeezing them. He took his time massaging you, loving how vulnerable you were. Joel carefully ran his palms to your cheeks, finally spreading them wide and taking a good look at your tight hole.

Even if he couldn't see your face, you were blushing harder than ever. Your whole body was hot, from all the edging and the stimulation, but having Joel looking at you like that was a whole new level of erotism.

"Don't be shy, baby girl, I'll make you feel so fucking good, now do what daddy tells you" his hand swatted your right cheek, making you squirm. He chuckled and kissed the hot skin, leaving a trail of bites on it, soft ones, just enough to tease you.

"Come on, sweetheart, clench your hole for me" he commanded in a low tone, holding you spread apart.

You relaxed your muscles and clenched for him a couple of times, hearing his grunts in approval.

"Good girl, little whore… now you're about to feel really good"

Joel took one last look at your clenching hole and leaned in.

The tip of his tongue slid all over your tight entrance, slowly at first but the moment you truly relaxed at his touch, he was able to explore you.

You widen your eyes and let out a loud moan. You'd never felt like that, but god, it felt good.

In fact, it felt great.

You never expected that, none of the guys you've been with before Joel attempted to do such a thing, but that man knew what he was doing.

Joel lapped at your asshole, feeling under his tongue how you clenched and opened yourself to him. He didn't think twice and used the tip of his tongue to go a little deeper, tongue fucking your ass as you gripped the sheets and moved your hips.

The new feeling set a fire down your core and you clenched your cunt at nothing, your clit throbbing and twitching until you felt an orgasm announced hit you.

You whimpered and called Joel's name as you couldn't hold yourself back and your knees got weak.

Joel held you in place, one strong arm wrapped around your waist as he kissed his way up your back. He gripped your hair and spread some other bites on your neck

"Fuck baby girl, cumming at some ass play? That's my kind of girl" he praised you.

"You're so fucking good baby, you know that? Now you're gonna be a good whore for my cock, got it?" He stroked your cheek so gently and sat comfortably, pulling you to his lap.

You freed Joel's cock, watching how shamelessly wet his underwear was at his leaking pre cum. You wanted to blow him, but he held your head in place "I'm not gonna last baby girl, come on, just sit on my cock and give me another orgasm like that" he commanded and helped you place yourself on him.

Your pussy was soaked and he shoved two fingers in you, gathering your juices and caressing your coated digits on your asshole entrance.

Joel teased your hole at the same time you impaled yourself on him, your cunt milking him at the same time he inserted one of his long thick fingers into your asshole.

You looked into his eyes, dark with desire and need and moved your hips, letting him stretch you up as rode him.

Your both holes were filled by him, and it felt really good, it was a new experience and you were enjoying every single minute of it.

"I'll add a second finger, got it baby girl?" You nodded obediently and kissed him, feeling his second digit go deeper into you. Now you moved at a faster pace, his hips bucked as he was getting sloppy, also close to his own bliss.

The familiar knot on your lower stomach appeared and you scratched his shoulders, wanting to hold onto something. It was coming stronger now, you were his as a whole, and your ass moving up and down on his hand, fucking your yourself on his cock and fingers, you couldn't wait.

You let yourself go, legs shaking and an overwhelming feeling of pleasure took over you. You milked Joel dry with your pussy as your asshole clenched around his fingers, shooting him to his own orgasm, as he pictured how your sweet hole would feel around his cock. It wouldn't be tonight, but now you he had given you a taste of it, you both knew it would happen soon.

_____

A/N: it's okay, I'm also at a loss of words

[readychilledwine]

✨️ACOTAR Booty Headcanons✨️

💕Peep the thigh headcanons here💕

Warnings - Butts. Fanart of butts. Nakey butts. Bubble butts. Lady butts. Man butts.

Up next? ✨️ Hands ✨️

✨️Body Headcanons Masterlist✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️

Edited to add - short plus size Elain sneak peak

A/N - for @lady-of-tearshed, I hope this meets all your dreams, my love.

A message from Mother - You, my sweet dear reader, are gorgeous as you are. You are real, touchable, and made with imperfections that enhance your beauty and uniqueness. You are a treasure. Do not compare yourself to a single body on this list.

Rhysand-

I like to start off strong..

Rhysand has a very bite-able booty.

He is slightly leaner than Azriel and Cassian, but he still has a firm butt.

Rhysand loves to wear tight slacks, just to watch your pretty little brain go blank when you see his ass.

He sleeps naked and it's hard for you not to just.. touch the booty.

To be fair, he loves to keep his hand (and hand print) on your butt, too.

Art by Amai actually just posted Rhysand butt fanart. Enjoy it below

Cassian-

John Cena has been described as having a military grade ass with an inhuman body.

Cassian also has an inhuman body, so it makes sense that my guy has a military grade ass.

Cassian has butt muscles in places you didn't even know you could have butt muscles.

It is intimidating. Very intimidating.

But you LOVE watching this man walk. Especially when he's walking to the bathroom to grab towels for aftercare.

Azriel-

Azriel's ass surprised you in the best way.

Azriel is lean compared to Cassian, so his bubble butt shocked you.

Much firm. Still jiggle.

You were ready for this jelly.

Azriel gets super shy when you tell him how good his butt looks, but he's like that one friend who secretly loves it and makes sure to wear the same pants/skirt/shorts the next time they see you so you are in love with their deliciousness again.

Sometimes, you just sneak up on Azriel and accidentally squeeze. In front of his family. But don't worry. He squeezes yours back.

Tamlin-

I'm disappointed I can't find this gif when I need it.

We can all hate on Tamlin as much as we want, but SJM herself says the man is muscular.

I imagine Tamlin was worried about his arms and chest being thicker than his legs, so he started hitting legs and glutes hard.

Then, the next thing he knows, he has a damn shelf.

He hates when you touch his butt though. He'd prefer you touch him other places.

But you bet your ass he is touching yours

Lucien-

I stand by Lucien having Chris Hemsworth's body type.

Lucien had the perfect, truly bite-able ass.

You constantly have your hand in his back pocket.

You constantly are giving it a little smack so it jiggles.

You always walk behind him.

Lucien loves the way you worship his body. He's insecure about his scars, so you loving every inch of him helps.

Eris-

Daddy 🫠🫠

Eris has the captain America Dorito proportions build, and I hope all of you know *exactly* what I am talking about.

I imagine Eris as slim muscular, and when I decided to do these, I needed him to have Chris Evans's ass

I mean look at it

Imagine that ass in Eris's finely tailored clothing.

Imagine that ass getting off a horse.

You're touching him. Constantly. And he loves it.

He loves that you seem to think he's some sort of God.

And he really loves it when you touch his butt because you begged him to treat you as his equal, meaning that ass of yours is in his hands quickly.

Helion-

You know when a guys thighs are so thick they become one with his dump truck? Helion.

He actually requires a CDL for his ass.

You can't really tell until he's naked and turns around due to the thickness of his thighs, but this male has ass for days.

And his ass is FIRM. There is not an ounce of fat on him.

He considers his ass a trophy of sorts, so touching it is only for those privileged to.

Luckily you have that privilege.

Oh, look.. I included the Archeron sisters

Feyre-

Don't accuse me of doing our girl dirty, but I picture Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit when I think of Feyre's body.

The reason you can't accuse me of doing her dirty is because the things I'd do if Halle Berry told me to do them are extreme.

I picture Feyre as very lean, very cut, and she had the cutest baby bubble butt.

She's definitely the friend who thinks she has no booty until you help her find the right outfit for the booty.

She also blushes whenever you touch it.

She wishes it was bigger sometimes, but a few spanks in, and she's telling you she's perfect as she is.

I wish I could find a better picture of this 🫠

Nesta-

Nesta I also picture as tight and lean.

For some reason when I read her, I picture Adriana Lima, but with blonde hair.

Maybe it's because I think Nesta has sultry vibes?

Nesta tries to keep herself small. It's ingrained deeply into her head because of her mother and grandmother that she has to be small.

She's also constantly training, so it keeps her tight.

She may not have the biggest ass, but that thing is the best apple you've bit

Elain-

If you don't know by now, you're about to: elain at minimum is slim thick.

I personally see truly happy glowing elain as mid to plus size, and I'm hoping for mid to plus size elain once this stupid shipwar is over.

Right now, though, elain is slimthick.

She's still recovering from her spicy sadness days, and her recovery has her doing squats in the garden

Ass. For. Days.

It's why she actually doesn't wear pants. She tried once and every almost had a collective mass failure heart attack.

So now, her booty is reserved for you and you alone.

You love it when she wears cheeky things in the bedroom.

I imagine elain is super into impact play because she loves the way you compliment her recoil.

I think she's secretly proud of her booty. She just doesn't want anyone else to know. So sssshhhh.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Akutagawa with bondage and overstimulation

Red diamond

Author's Note: Ryu my beloved ❤️ — I hope this is to your liking, anon!

Pairings: Akutagawa x male reader

Warnings: Male!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!Akutagawa, praise, bondage, semi-public sex, frotting, overstimulation

On a day as slow as today, you find your mind wandering more easily. Thoughts of what to have for lunch, who you might get paired up with for your next assignment, and what you're forgetting to add to your grocery list. Thoughts of your gorgeous partner—his pale skin under your fingertips, specifically, and the sounds he makes when you touch him in the way only you can.

Before your hand can wander as well, you shoot him a text:

Meet me in the single stall outside my office in 5

❤️

In truth, Ryuunosuke's mind was a little scattered as well, no thanks to the harness you had him wear today. Just a new thing you wanted to try, something that might be less irritating to his skin than the ropes you used last time.

Still, the leather clinging to his body was doing things to his mind. He was just hoping that your message meant what he thought it meant–

—

When you arrived, Akutagawa had already removed his coat, showing off the harness peeking from under his white shirt.

“Don't tell me you were planning on starting the party without me.” You tease.

He answers almost shyly, “No. Just waiting.”

Your hands are already resting on his hips, then trailing up his chest and tracing the harness, slowly removing his shirt before you're holding his face and pulling him in for a kiss. It's gentle, yet hungry, and Akutagawa returns it with the same kind of need that you're feeling right now.

It's funny—his hands fumble with everything as if he doesn't know what to do with them. Unsure of whether he should rest them against your body or put them over your hands or around your neck or–

…or you can pin them above his head and press him further against the wall. Continuing your little make out while you remove your tie with one hand.

“Mm… lemme fix that fidgeting problem for you, baby.” You bind Akutagawa's wrists with your tie, leaving a little loop for you to hang on the hook above his head. There were several hooks, meant for people to hang their bags on, or clothing hangers if they needed to change. There was another hook in just the right spot for you to remove your belt and his bottom clothing, hook it underneath Akutagawa's leg, and hoist him up for easy access to his hole.

Admiring the new position you put him in, you cooed; “You look good like this, Ryu. You just let me tie you up like so. You're even getting excited too~”

Akutagawa shot you a glare, but it wasn't so intimidating combined with the deep crimson of his cheeks and his heavy panting.

His hole is noticeably wet, and you can't help the smug feeling you get knowing that you make Akutagawa so excited for you. “You even prepped yourself too? Damn, you're making everything easier for me, huh? My good boy.” you say, stealing yet another kiss. The praise elicits a groan from your beloved, but you know he enjoys it.

You press your cock against his, wrapping your fingers around the both of you and working your hand up and down, meanwhile kissing whatever parts of Ryuunosuke's neck that you can reach as he bites back his moans.

Teasing your partner is fun, but you don't want to get in trouble by being away for too long. So you smear a little precum over both of your cock heads, then you line your cock up with his entrance, pushing in with a hiss. Your mouth still chases his lips in a greedy display, unwilling to allow him even a second to breathe as you kiss him, biting his lower lip and moaning into his mouth.

Akutagawa feels drunk from your relentless assault — a pleasurable dizziness wracks his brain, and this small space you're in seems to rise in temperature, even fogging up the mirror to your side. Not only are your lips abusing his, your hands can't stop rubbing and touching everywhere! You'll go from playing with his nipples to tugging at his hair whenever you start sucking on his neck; aka the only time you even let him take a breath. And when you're not doing any of that, you'll use his hips to fuck up into him further.

A yelp comes from Akutagawa when you grab his little cock again and jerk him off whilst cooing; “C'mon angel– cum for me. Wan you to… mmm feel so good~”

It takes a few more minutes of stroking his dick while simultaneously tugging on his harness or hair, but your pretty boy does cum, and he cums hard too. You have to quickly cover his mouth as he screams through a twitchy orgasm.

He's even louder when you make him cum a second time, fucking him through it as you chase an orgasm of your own. Akutagawa trembles as his cock shoots more cum onto the floor, pooling at his feet (you'll clean it up once you're finished. Wouldn't want the next poor soul to use this bathroom to see the aftermath…)

“Yes, baby– give me just one more, yeah?” you plead, overstimulating yourself almost, as you fuck Akutagawa's slutty hole. “Just one more… thaaat's it, need me to touch that pretty cock?”

His heart pounds against his chest as you, somehow, pull a third orgasm out of him. Cum dribbles down your hand, and you lick some off while making eye contact with your beloved, thrusting into him a few more times because he's just too irresistible. But you have to stop at three — any more and Akutagawa wouldn't be in any condition to go back to work (not that he's exactly fit to work after three orgasms either…)

For now, you pull out and watch the fat load of cum—your cum—drip out, adding to the mess on the tile. You carefully, and gently, bring Akutagawa back to the present, allowing him to fall into your arms once you've undone his restraints. Nuzzling into his hair and feeling his heartbeat against your chest, you whisper many 'I love you's during the cleanup process, kissing your partner softly this time.

[seriouslycromulent]

The Math Ain't Mathing

So I'm sure people are going to accuse me of being a conspiracy theorist, but the more I think about the results of this US election, the more it's clear that things aren't adding up.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm well aware of the US's long history of racism and misogyny, and it is totally possible -- in theory -- that more people voted for a moronic straight, white male who is an ajudicated grapist and convicted felon over a more-than-qualified, intelligent, results-driven woman of color for a position as leader of the wealthiest nation on earth.

I'm not saying that couldn't happen. But did it? Legitimately?

The more I think about Trump's campaign, the more fishy this result seems.

So here was a man with ...

virtually no policies (that he could talk about openly),

no ground game,

no door knocking apparatus to urge folks to get out the vote,

no phone banking,

he was constantly running out of money and had to shill products to raise more,

stole money from down ballot candidates, putting their marketing strategies at risk,

found liable for SA,

found guilty of millions of dollars in fraud,

constantly rambles and shows clear signs of being mentally unwell,

invokes violent and hateful language against specific communities as well as individuals,

bragged about being a dictator on Day 1,

had over 40 former cabinet members declare him unfit for office,

was called a fascist by his own former chief of staff,

was not endorsed by any reputable economists,

saw a flood of lifelong Republicans -- literally millions of them -- abandon their party to vote for his opponent,

has been impeached twice,

has seen sharply, dwindling crowd sizes at his rallies for the last 6 weeks,

... and somehow he won the popular vote by 5 million?

Even though he never won the popular vote in 2016? Or 2020?

Suddenly he "found" a bunch of votes from people who liked him?

Um, no.

Just no.

One of Trump's biggest failings is that he and his team tell lies like children. That is, they've never learned how to keep things believable. Like a misguided 10-year-old who is desperate to impress someone with his whopper of a tale, he always exaggerates to the point of hyperbole and insults our intelligence.

For example, he told us his rally at Wildwood, NJ, this past summer had 108,000 even though the town itself only has 80,000 residents and the venue he held the rally in only held 20,000 people.

Or how he kept insisting that American kids are going to school and somehow receiving gender reassignment surgery over a couple of days and without parental consent before being sent home.

Each lie is so over the top and grandiose it makes him look infantile while at the same time insults our knowledge of reality.

And that's exactly what this feels like.

There is no way this man won the majority of the votes and the popular vote after only winning due to the electoral college the first time and not at all the second time. More people vilify him now than they did in 2016 and 2020, and that's saying something.

There just aren't enough voters in the US to give him a clear path to victory here no matter how committed his sycophants are to white supremacy. MAGA voters are not the majority of the voting electorate.

Also the fact that the exit polling data is suspiciously similar to the same tall tales Trump's been selling for the past year about how he had a ton of support in the Latino and Black communities, despite there being no data to support it at all. He was polling damn near 0% in some majority black communities like Detroit and Atlanta.

Yeah ... no.

This math ain't mathing.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I know when something isn't adding up. And nothing about these results add up at all.

On top of that, they ran their entire campaign like they didn't care about people getting out to vote. They kept insulting different segments of the electorate over and over again, as if they didn't need the votes of single people or people without children.

Plus, we saw record voter registration leading up to the election. More people voting early in state after state, and millions of people voting for the first time in their lives. But somehow there were fewer votes cast in this 2024 election than in the 2020 election?

Hell, Georgia alone tripled its early voter turnout. So how is this election getting fewer votes than 4 years ago?!

There were historically longer lines than ever before in parts of the country that never saw long lines, and yet there were millions fewer votes counted so far this year? Are we really to believe that all those long lines and so many new voters managed to only add up to 136M versus 158M who voted in 2020?

I call bullshit!

Also, a number of folks are commenting on how quickly the states were called. In all my years of voting, I've never seen a US election turning around so fast.

Yeah, the math ain't mathing.

Sure, he could've eeked out a win via the Electoral College without the popular vote like he did in 2016, but given her momentum and the majority of the polls either favoring her or having had them tied, none of these results pass the smell test.

Meanwhile, Harris had a multigenerational, multiracial, multiethnic, multigendered coalition of enthusiastic supporters who volunteered, phone banked, door knocked, and fundraised in every state plus D.C. Her media strategy was savvy, her interviews were sharp and intelligible, and her demeanor was inclusive and congenial. Again, not putting anything past good ole American racism and misogyny, but all the data showed that her supporters were clearly larger in number and more enthusiastic than his.

Long story short --

I do believe we are witnessing the American government being hijacked and a dictator installed right before our very eyes.

[xo-cod]

thinking about bridgerton style au with the 141 🌸👑🩷

each boy seeking his partner, a search for a lover in order to become a duke. all four men well known around the town due to their mysterious backgrounds and their playboy ways though their hearts are cold, walls impenetrable, love isn't something they think they could achieve.

that is until they meet their match

john price: head of the team, price strives to fulfil the duties and managing the affairs. the leader, the one keeping them steadfast. he's intent on marrying purely out of duty, the viscount not interested in a love match. he doesn't think love will come to him so he doesn't hold out hope for it anymore, doesn't entertain thoughts of such an idea. nevertheless, he expects nothing short of perfection from his future bride.

simon "ghost" riley: handsome, charming and rich, quite the catch but unattainable. if he had any hope of fulfilling his duty of marrying and producing an heir, his temper prevents his pursuit. his heart is full of anger and pain, often engages on one nighters not wanting to be tied to down to someone. he had opted for more of a black surgical mask, occasionally donning the skull balaclava for when he finds trouble during the late night. the fear of love brings him vulnerability, the very thing that cursed his past. and he'll be damned if he makes the same mistake again.

kyle "gaz" garrick: gaz shows little interest in the societal goings-on, instead finding his refuge in the world of art. he yearns for something other than the endless round of parties he finds himself attending every evening. every night leaving behind a trail of broken hearts behind him, not a single one catches his eye. they don't seem to understand him to relate on a deeper level, they don't seem to care for affections and love. something he yearns for privately so he keeps to himself mostly. pours his love into art and dreams of turning his artistic hobby into a full-fledged career, soon finding himself looking far outside the world of the town in order to achieve it.

john "soap" mctavish: finally the youngest, takes no pleasure in attending balls and other social events instead preferring to focus on other activities. soap is not one for turning into just another young simpering and mincing viscount, he's got a sharp mind accompanied with a sharp tongue. believes he's destined for something much more, though he's quite rapidly approaching marriageable age. much to his displeasure. his heart is troubled, wanting to find love desperately but he knows its a fools pipe dream so he chooses not to engage with feelings anymore. with him it's just flings much like ghost, just fulfilling his sexual needs before he disappears

who shall be the one to capture their heart? who will be the one to rule the crown?

•••

don't come for me for any inaccuracies LOL. but i'm so in love with the slow burn and the yearning and the chance at love :") <33 and eventual smut

might add könig just for fun if i ever wrote it 👀 but it was in my drafts for ages lmao

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I'm just curious since I absolutely adore all your trans Ed fics, what made you read Ed as being trans? Is it more of a personal headcanon since we tend to see ourselves in fictional characters, or did you notice some tiny detail on the show that made you think so?

Oh my friend, I'm so glad you ask.

The cool thing about reading Ed as trans, I think, is that you do not even have to squint to do it. Literally you need to change exactly nothing, and this read suddenly adds a lot of nuance and additional juicy layers to his story and his journey with masculinity.

Ed's whole deal with masculinity, precisely exactly all of it, makes him feel so much like a trans guy who never outgrew the "I need to be hypermasculine so I pass" phase, fitting that read so precisely that given there are trans writers on the OFMD team I would be absolutely SHOCKED if at least some of it wasn't intentional. Every single trans guy I know has been through a version of this, where you come out and you know you're a man but you need everyone else to know, too, and so you lean very hard into masculinity to make damn sure you pass. And not just pass, but pass perfectly. Ed is forcing himself into such a heavy ideal of masculinity that it feels artificial; he needs to make sure everyone sees him as this perfect ideal of a masculine man that he cannot possibly live up to because no one could.

Certainly, parts of Ed's hyper-masculine presentation seem to be things that genuinely make him happy and bring him joy. That's important. Ed's happy to be a man, the problem is that he's trying to force himself into such a narrow idea of masculinity that it's stifling him. It's preventing him from enjoying more ""feminine"" things that he genuinely loves, because he's terrified of being seen as less of a man for it, and people like Izzy reinforce the idea that if Ed fucks up in his performance of masculinity, he's going to be in danger because of that. It's very real, and the added juiciness from reading Ed as trans adds so much to the great story that's already there, I think. There's this additional element of Ed knowing he's a man but needing to make sure everyone else could never doubt it, there's an additional perceived danger to slipping up, there's a sort of jealous admiration for guys like Stede who seem, at least on the surface, so much more comfortable with a different type of masculinity that Ed wishes he could have more of.

And on top of that, there's just a lot of other little additional things, like:

Ed making his beard his whole brand, it just screams beard dysphoria and "no one could ever claim I'm not a man because the beard is my whole THING."

Something about his relationship with his name, and how hard he has to try to get people like Izzy to call him by his name in front of others

The way Ed is dehumanized when he dares to step outside a very safe, masculine gender presentation - it's why Izzy saying "this thing you've become" when Ed is wearing a robe and painted nails hits so hard for me, I think

Okay. okay. listen. You know the scene where Ed makes CJ whip him in the balls. Listen. Ed baby. It just SCREAMS "people here don't know I'm trans and I don't know how much getting hit in the balls should ACTUALLY hurt so I'm gonna lay it on really really thick just to be safe"

There's a lot to be said about Ed and his clothing in a lot of directions, but I'm gonna leave it at how he's really figured out a safe set of clothing that works for him and consistently allows him to be read as this super masculine guy, and he's scared to step away from that. Also, I really like imagining the full-fingered gloves at the end of s1 as a way to cover up the nail polish on his fingernails until it wears off.

I think it's very sweet that Ed tends to be very private when talking about his personal and sex life with others, but a very, very easy explanation for how that got started is he just doesn't want to go around sharing personal details about his body with people!

Yeah. A trans read of Ed is so shockingly easy, fits so well, and adds so much to his journey, frankly I'm amazed it's not more common.