#i don't drink and i'm not into clubs
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yo how the FUCK do people make actual long term close friends in this day and age
#i don't drink and i'm not into clubs#also i don't have like normal “group activity” interests like dnd or board games or whatever#idk how to make friends#it's one thing i miss about college#it was easy to make friends because you were usually both in a class because you were interested in the subject#so you automatically had something slightly more depthful to talk about#ugh#squash rambles
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you don't gotta hold me down baby i know how to sink
#rachel amber#life is strange#it's 1am i'm interchangeably blasting Relax After Work With A Drink & Pink Pony Club and i'm so unbelievably normal about her#hear santa monica i swear it's calling me. i can barely hold on to the edge of the sink. she sees her baby girl i know she's gonna scream#you don't know who i am. it's where i belong#y'know. Y'Know. anyways gonna go slap them both on her playlist and then. snnzzzz#nova scribbles
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teenage girl problems when i'm 24 :)
#how do people go to parties without having severe anxiety about it#like i'm probably going to an lgbtq+ party somewhere in the new year (a club party#not a home party)#and i know 1 person there#and i'm just already stressing about it#bcs what if i wanna go home?#i cannot go home#i have to sleep over at their place#what if i have no one to talk to#what if i don't want to drink and they all get drunk and i end up hating it#what if i'm not strong enough to tell them no and end up getting drunk anyway with all the consequences ....#( i take like 3 drinks to get drunkish so... )#what if my ptsd acts up bcs of the amount of people in the room#what if i get panic attacks and ruin the night#what if i ruin their night#i don't wanna ruin their night#most these people don't even know me and i have to be liked
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whining
love that i cried for the first time this year (the year that not only did my father die and i haven't been able to even take time off to grieve, but i had two breakups, neither of which has really yet included an acknowledgement of the concrete ways my exes actually hurt me because i've been so fucked up all year i can't trust myself to take any actions in case i'm being irrational and mean) not because of any of that or anything else objectively bad that's happened, but because my birthday fucking sucked
#i'm fine i'll be fine i'll get through it i always do but christ#now if you'll excuse me i'll be isolating myself and then whining to my cat because i've left myself with nobody to talk to about this shit#sorry to everyone who knows me that i've been in a hole all year this is hundo percent not your fault#but christ. work can i have like 2 weeks off where i don't have to do anything or see anyone so i can process this shit#and great that we went to the club for my birthday but it was empty because of a fuckin t swizzle party somewhere#and then some straight guy's girlfriend danced with me which caused him to BARK at me????#after which one of my friends saw him fucking around with the empty bottle i had been drinking from#don't know what he was doing with it so i just went home#looks like the people i went to the club with had a great time after i left tho so that's great
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did you guys know that the gay bar is so awesome actually
#every post like 'they should be in the club' YES. YES I SHOULD BE#literally nothing matters ever cause a guy was immediately throwing it back on me and multiple people said i looked good#so. WINNING.#i don't give a fuck ab anyone misgendering me. gay men want me and that is the most gender affirming thing on earth i think#i pass where it matters (dressed slutty in the gay club)#i have said multiple times before that desirability is an important part of my gender. my gender is Being Hot#and i get to pick and choose which gendered elements i want to use for those purposes. unlimited sex appeal#and. obviously. i'm winning at that#drinks were tasty. hot men there. gorgeous dolls there. many queer people. community spaces go crazy i love being surrounded by my people#every time i've been in that neighborhood as a teenager going 'oh my godddd i need to be here as a grown up gay person' i was so right#GOD. I LOVE GAY PEOPLE.#i would have been so good at being a cis gay man#in some alternate universe i am the most stereotypical annoying gym bunny gay man you've ever met#and i'm having a fantastic time there#valentine notes
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DnD Modern AU!! Outfit Concepts!! (feat. Grimrock Trio)
This is from an AU!! me and @jesuisfinni came up with ages ago where the main party went out clubbing for Remmy's 18th. These were some fun designs I came up with for what the party plus some of their NPC buddies would look like in that AU!! with little fun descriptions (I have another post about this AU!! with a cute moment from the gays). Credit for the kickass Ezra design goes to @jesuisfinni
Order of Characters(Left-Right): Ezra Garren Remmy Suisie Hiart Thave Luuki
Also I've just realised I've never mentioned that Remmy and Garren are actually my own renditions of the characters from Jonathon and Beth Ball's Crystaline Curse Trilogy Campaign. We've long since finished the trilogy series and moved onto continuing their story but I thought it right to mention their work in these characters and I'd defo recommend reading through some of their works if you're looking for prewritten short style campaigns.
#This took place before Lia joined the party so she doesn't have a design#Honestly really love Remmy and Luuki's outfits they seem so fun and quirky tho I could never pull them off lolol#I am defo the Thave of the party mostly cause I don't drink and can drive lolol#Also we love our lesbians Suisie and Hiart in this club they are so cute#I'm constantly asked how they are doing and if they'll ever show up again it's hilarious#illustration#kappacino art#artists on tumblr#digital art#original art#dnd#dnd art#dnd character#dnd campaign
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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead
#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else#last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks#i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters#ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me#and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up#and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical#history to everyone i interact with#and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it#but it's every fucking time#most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast#i can never keep up#i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho#this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down#but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened#also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked#my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes#2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do#only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there#like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome#been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body#i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great#also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway#the group costume is winx club. btw
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Pick the one you enjoy the most! Even if it isn't what ends up happening usually. (Socializing can be hard sometimes.)
This poll brought to you by a convo I had with my sister.
#ask game#tumblr polls#food mention#random polls#ask to tag#for context: my sister has friends who go clubbing and there's one who knocks back an energy drink even when she's not the dd#but i feel like beverages to me shape the vibes of events I'm at#luckily i don't have many allergies that inhibit my choice in beverage#but i def fall in the enegy drink camp myself. I'm just too tired to socialize otherwise#idk just musing. idk if any of this makes sense or the formatting is practical
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Goddamit I spent all my 20s so depressed, now in my mid-30s all I want is to have a nightlife suddenly.
#have definitely make variations of this post before but it's on my mind so here you go#i want to go to fuckin goth nights dammit#and rock nights and maybe even emo nights even though i was never an emo#or literally any kind of night...with friends or alone i don't care#i started drinking again after years of abstaining for the medication and was building up a tolerance to be less embarrassing#only now it's no good again because i'm on massive doses of antihistimines from late feb to early nov ffs#i don't have any particular reasons for not being intoxicated in any 'other' ways other than being too loserish to have connections#but all the same i'm trying to have a 30s that is better than my 20s and something i can look back on and say yeah that was fun#god i want that......please#i do have friends but most of them don't want to go clubbing so i would go alone but my preference would be with friends#who i trust not to make fun of me
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i neeeeeed to go to the club i need it
#teeth.txt#I HAVE THE CLUBBERS TEMPRAMENT#i'm drunk rn but NOT AT THE CLUB#at a random bar#the vibes are very millennial in here i would say#i'm drinking a beer that is called apex predator which is cool but beer is lame#i'm in a city that in theory has a great club scene but i'm only here this weekend and i don't think i'm making it to an actual godforsaken#dance club. i went to a speakeasy but it was a little underwhelming for how long we waited lol#god the public transport runs all night in some capacity that's crazy#buses stop at 10:45 promptly where i live#WHICH SUCKS IT MEANS I CANT GO OUT AND PARTY WITHOUT A RIDE OR WHATEVER#i've never tried to uber maybe that is an option but idkkkkkkk#ok i'm done#i need to be at the clerb.
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I was thinking about Christina being absent a lot of the time, especially after Sam left, and it raised the question:
How does Tara take care of herself in the years between Sam leaving and coming back? Christina wasn't really present, so who bought groceries and stuff like that? Did Tara have to get a job? She wouldn't have been able to for several years because of her age, so did Christina just give her money every so often?
I imagine that her friends and their families helped out a lot, but at the same time I can't really see Tara accepting too much help (or even telling them to begin with), especially from adults/parents.
What are your thoughts?
I've mentioned here:
By the time their father left, Christina did nothing except drop off an envelope of money on the counter monthly and pay the bills. Sam learns to forge her mother’s signature to sign off on Tara’s medical needs
In my head, Sam leaving doesn't change that; Christina keeps to the routine. She pays the bills and leaves money on the counter.
We do know Tara does have a job at one point, at least the summer before senior year, because that's where she met Liv (and Vince). I imagine she did that to get experience and to start having some freedom of her own - she would have been 19 at that point. And no doubt to begin saving up in case her mother decides to kick her out. She's so unpredictable, Tara never knows what mood she'll be in: the one where she screams at her and calls her a parasite, or the one where she weeps in her arms telling her to never leave her.
I think Tara would have spent a lot of time around friends' houses - she doesn't like to be alone. Martha and Judy are always encouraging their kids to bring Tara around, always trying to look out for her - especially straight after Sam leaves, knowing that her mother wouldn't be around. They could offer her dinner, a sleepover, some snacks - but she won't accept more. No money, no clothes, no help at home. Tara shuts down the slightest hint of that. Judy helps Tara learn to drive, she allows that. She could never afford a car or the insurance, but she appreciates that she took the time to teach her anyway. Hicks feels especially protective of Tara, she could never help Sam. She feels bad that she couldn't intervene early enough to help prevent that descent, too busy trying to help Dewey with his.
#/mp#ask box#Scream#Tara Carpenter#fuck christina carpenter club#-5 year gap#the tags tag#I'm actually assuming America uses a direct debit system like we have in the UK#I actually have no idea how bills and shit works there lmao#I hear you still use cheques for shit? Wild.#Also the way you get your driving license and shit? Insane. What the fuck.#HEYO TIMELINE: we don't seem to have any details of the Dewey timeline between 4 and 5 so here's what I'm going with#Dewey and Gale go to New York right after Scream 4. He sticks it out for a year. A single year. He can't hack it and runs back to Woodsboro#He's a small town boy and she's a city woman. He resumes his role as sheriff. But the guilt leads him to drink.#Sam - 15/16 - begins to transition to harder drugs and more destructive behaviours.#Hicks gets caught between trying to help the both of them. And helping neither.#Sam leaving and Dewey being forced into retirement happen on a pretty similar timescale.
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just finished good omens s2. i'm in so much fucking pain and agony
#EVERYONE shut the FUCK UP#it's all abt LISTEN and NO NIGHTINGALES and WE COULD'VE BEEN US#IT'S ABT THE BREATHLESS DESPERATE WAY CROWLEY WRENCHES HIM FORWARD TO KISS HIM#IT'S ABT THE BETRAYAO OF AZIRA SUGGESTING THE BOTH OF THEM BE ANGELS WHEN THEY BOTH KNOW WHAT HEAVEN'S DONE TO THE BOTH OF THEM#IT'S ABT THAT STUPID FUCKING BOBBLEHEAD AND HOW HE PROBABLY DRUGGED THAT STUPID FUCKING COFFEE#(and me screaming internally at azira to never accept a drink from a strange man—IT'S CLUB ETIQUETTE‚ ANGEL)#it's abt the music. god.#the variation of the theme from the s1 church scene where crowley saved the books‚ you know the one#it plays for gabriel and beelzebub. & it plays again when azira comes back to the bookshop#delighted and giddy to tell crowley the 'good news'#IT'S ABT HOW WE'RE A TEAM. A GROUP. A GROUP OF THE TWO OF US#AND HOW CROWLEY CHOKES UP WHEN HE SAYS HE'S SICK OF PRETENDING THAT THEY AREN'T#its abt how i am definitely lying awake never sleeping again#& how I FORGIVE YOU and DON'T BOTHER is banging pots and pans in my head at all cylinders#i just. god. they love each other so much. they're so FUCKING STUPID and i LOVE THEM but i'm LITERALLY in the deepest pits of agony#i'm in the deepest trench of anguish i can't fucking do this#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2 spoilers#gos2 spoilers#go2 spoilers
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I can't decide whether to go to a burlesque show by myself or not.
#personal#i don't usually mind going to things by myself#but in this case i've never been to that type of show before so i have no idea what to expect#and i'm not usually into the club/late-night drinking scene so i deffo would feel at least slightly uncomfortable/anxious there#however i am very curious to see a burlesque show and i can get a ticket to one for a massive discount...#what to do
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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now#tag talk#it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit#except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee#it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were#and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun#I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game#but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d#I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went#all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat.#I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info#so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection.#we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers#anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment.#I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation#and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway#oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life.#so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident.#literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow?#Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in.#anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect#also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to#oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it#I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice.#was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar.#wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out#but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed#cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like#I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering#I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)
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like it sounds INSANE if you don’t already get the vibe but i really don’t read horror books with the intent to be scared i read them cause i find so much comfort and fasciation in the grotesque and macabre but u can’t just SAY that to people without sounding absolutely batshit
#like i feel like u ppl get it#but u can't just go around telling ppl that u find like. body horror weirdly comforting#cause most ppl are gonna think ur some kind of serial killer or some shit !!#and that's kinda unfortunate ! but !!#like i think i'm gonna go through with the book club anyways#but i really just think i read horror with different intentions than the other people there#and therefore am going to take away different messages and like different things#and that's FINE#but it's just kinda. u know.#idk horror writing specifically really just is so special to me#but outside of the little circle i've curated here on tumblr#MOST ppl don't rlly follow that train of thought#but that's okay i guess#it's the same way i LOVEEE tragedies !#and i think that one's a little more common to enjoy#but still a lot of ppl will hear u like a tragic ending and just think there's something wrong with u#and maybe there is!#but still!!#idk i dont think im making any sense#im gonna drink my tea and go the fuck back to bed#snow.txt
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^ me
Stone faced and barely moving in the club.
#i get so bored at the club#like. it's always guys being like “hey let me offer you a drink” “thanks” “what do you say we go to my place/the bathroom ;)”#like no. thanks for the drink but no. before you say “then dont accept it”. no. they offer it. i accept it after two “aw you dont have to”.#accepting a drink doesnt mean i want to get in your pants. it means i'm grateful that you think i'm pretty (i am not. men are desperate)#but anyway#they don't even play the music i like#and my head is not a fan of flashing lights bc i suffer from chronic migraines at that can be a trigger sadly#(i enjoy the vibes. just. not the club itself.)#and i'm into women but they aren't into me. so like. no point in clubbing.
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