#i don't care anymore. who gives a shit. i get to have my little agenda and that's fine

[altschmerzes]

Gav I am SO sorry for the length of this ….. also I am going to send a general “how are you doing ask” because this is all Jamie stuff (very therapeutic to talk about him after the week I’ve had) so I hope that’s okay!!!

Okay. So.

Jamie in this episode? A delight. I mean, he’s always a delight but WOW, I didn’t think I could love him more. And I LOVE that he was so happy and silly and having fun and I don’t want my take to take away from that (because I have been in the state I think he was in many times before).

I don’t know if this was intentional from Phil, but I think Jamie was manic in this episode — specifically trauma induced mania. I think that Amsterdam, understandably, was a HUGE trigger for him.

In that heartbreaking scene where Jamie shares something very difficult with Roy, he says “even though my dad weren’t there, it was like he was still with us, y’know?”

Cut to:

Jamie mimicking his dad’s mannerisms from his very first scene (the play punches, the frenetic energy)

Jamie reverting to being a prick for all of two seconds (the tie your laces comment was probably something he heard from his father) to see how far he could push Roy before Roy snapped at him

Running Roy ragged across the streets of Amsterdam the entire episode lol

This sent me spiralling a little because there is SO much evidence to show that Jamie was in trauma / manic in this episode, and how those mannerisms relate to that.

Cut to:

Nonstop movement, running, round offs, bouncing up and down on the spot

Lack of attention span and impulsivity — deciding they need bikes and running off to find them using his street smarts (again, likely mimicking what he has seen his father do) and also deciding that they HAVE to find a windmill. Like absolutely determined, nothing was stopping that boy lmao

Peaking in energy and then suddenly calming down once he’s taught Roy how to ride a bike

Info-dumping and non stop talking

Being confused why Roy wouldn’t want to join in on his imagined adventure “these bikes have just made tonight AMAZING!”

Now listen. Being a person with mania, you can be manic and still be …. you. I think so many of these Jamie moments are hilarious and adorable and not all down to that, but he was DEFINITELY in trauma … getting to that now:

He’s in this crazy good mood the whole night, and then he decides to share ….. the thing ….. with Roy. I think that might be his subconscious bringing up this trauma and sort of explaining the mood he’s been in, which is extremely chaotic for the entire episode until he voices it. Even if he doesn’t KNOW it’s traumatising (“she loved it”), there is something going on here. And the fact that he SUBCONSCIOUSLY, maybe even consciously I don’t know, recognised that being in Amsterdam was a trigger for him and then apologised for the way it made him behave ??????? I’m actually tearing up thinking about it I’m so fucking proud that is UNBELIEVABLE

Also. “I don’t really remember.”

I don’t think I need to explain to you how fucking heart wrenching that is but. Fuck.

This is a super jumbled and badly put mess of an ask because I am very sleep deprived but. This episode just meant so much to me because I relate to Jamie SO MUCH in this. I have genuinely had a night very similar and I am almost certainly projecting but. Yeah. To people with abuse trauma, at least for me, this was genuinely the most nuanced depiction of it that I’ve ever, EVER seen, and I don’t even know if they did it on purpose.

IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ITS NOT VERY GOOD READING IT OVER. I am definitely projecting. And also want to be clear that it isn’t JUST trauma stuff like this is also a very wholesome development in Roy and Jamie’s relationship with some very touching and hilarious moments that I’m terrified to undermine and I’m scared it’s an awful take but. Just needed to share it with you

ALLL MY LOVE AS ALWAYS <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

never apologize for long messages!!!! i love long messages i love hearing from and chatting with my pals including my pen pals.... and like yeah. yeah i have been so much thinking about all of this. like he was happy! he was really happy at a lot of points in that episode but it had a bit of a weird exaggerated energy that didn't click until that point later when he told that. frankly brutal story that like ah, okay, that all makes sense now. he was upbeat and happy and it was clear he was having a good time and like you said, it was a lovely and touching and hilarious sequence in their subplot but 'manic' is the word that kept coming to mind. like, when you've got a mix of horrifying feelings and happy feelings about something and you decide no, i'm HAPPY i'm focusing on the good part i am FINE it's FINE it's all FINE, see how happy i am? see how normal and not ruined i am??

and yeah same i feel the same way about like- regardless of whether it was done intentionally that combination of that almost manic energy and 'i don't remember' and the way he brings it up as like- you get the feeling, really, that he knows on some level that what happened to him there was deeply, profoundly not okay, but doesn't quite know how to talk about it? gave me the same feeling that some of his comments earlier to higgins and ted did like. 'i want someone to tell me this wasn't okay, but i don't know how to say it.' and yeah like. the i don't remember comment... man that hit hard. his behaviour in that whole scene hit hard.

and that line about like. even though he wasn't there he was there with us..... winded me. that line winded me. if you grow up with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house, if you are born in a burning house you think the whole world is on fire, etc etc. it's a really complex and extremely familiar portrait of abuse trauma and i really, really appreciated seeing it. even if it's reading too much into it, even if it's projecting, i really appreciated it.

and man the whole thing especially with him bringing it up and then apologizing to roy like- i'm really proud of him for that too. he's trying really, extremely hard this season and doing such a good job of Being An Adult, being responsible, being accountable, being Good. even in situations where it has to feel unbelievably scary and threatening - going to the coaches about zava and presenting his concerns to the whole room full of authority figures he admires and respects, telling roy that story and then taking the initiative to apologize, even before this season, 'if you know how to make me better, i want to hear it' - it's just like. he's giving everything he has to do better, be better. he's- gutting himself, in pursuit of Being Good, in a couple of different ways and MAN it's like. it's hard to watch but it's incredible to watch at the same time. man. there's a reason this character absolutely kills me.

[chevelleneech]

I agree with you overall but the problem isn't him posting really. Unlike tkkrs, jkks don't really think tae and jk friendship is fake/fs/never existed, the main problem is the timing and the lack of mentioning other members during it over and over even when they have big moments in the process. It seems like he posts some things in a very caculated timing where he benefit more out of it than jimin or even jk. People don't suddenly wake up and decided to post old trip pictures right when a certin trip show is about to start with said person and another member. there was an intent there. Some people will say it's him showing support and wanting to be included out of love others will say it's him having an agenda and bandwagon jumping on other people's projects without caring how they'd be treated. He is questionable because it happened too many times to be a coincidance. his shippers claim he's doing it on purpose but they are okay with it cause for them it means they getting "orders" so even they see it so..there's something there. I think jk lack of response is awkward and ignoring other members in his jk mentions makes it questionable so as well but that's who he is. He can do what he wants but I hope he'll be more responsible in the future cause at some point it just look funny and slightly selfish

I don’t necessarily disagree, about his actions being questionable, but I also think it’s important to remember Tae has been like this for about five years give or take. In my opinion, I’d say it coincides with the time JM and JK settled into their whatever they’ve got going on, and hasn’t changed much since.

So I don’t think he’s being spiteful or even sneaky in regards to Jikook as a shipped pairing, but that he could be envious of the bond they’ve developed over the years. This is all speculation on my part, but we know he and Jungkook were close when they were younger. We know JK was pretty damn shy and seemed just as shy around Jimin. He never seemed that way with Tae, and I’m speaking purely on what we’ve seen, not from a ship perspective.

As the members grew up, JM and JK remained close, as far as we know, but Tae and JK had a little bump in the road. We can also assume them both developing love lives and outside friendships likely played a part in things, which includes Tae’s friendship with Jimin. I’m not someone who thinks Vmin aren’t close anymore because of social media or a lack of visible solo music support. I’m big on taking what we see and forming an opinion of my own, but ultimately remembering I don’t post on social media for all my family’s stuff.

To me, it’s bullshit to hold celebrities to higher standards in this context, just because we want to know things about them. So seeing as Vmin obviously hung out during the filming of the travel show, is it not safe to assume they don’t have as many problems as people are thinking?

I don’t want to ramble too much longer, but my overall opinion of what’s going on is that I have a hard time judging Tae for “interrupting” Jikook moments, and assuming negative intent, because JK and Jimin seem fine.

We know Tkkrs take what Tae does and twist it and run shit into the ground and kickstart hate campaigns toward Jimin for existing near JK, but neither Jimin nor Jungkook have reacted, as far as we know. And Tae hasn’t changed his actions. So unless maknae line are secret enemies, I don't see the motivation.

[alirhi]

This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."

[fictionkinfessions]

Started thinking about my dad again and the anger is coming back. I thought while my head was clear I should start thinking about the shit that happened and try to come to terms with it, try to heal because as much as this anger is easier than dealing with the source, I don't want it. It makes me lose control and what little grasp on reality I have left.

Everything about my life that lead me to here was created by him. He was like... Some kind of fucked up ringleader, and everyone he interacted with was just, one of his stupid fucking clowns, or performance animal or fucking something. No one was human to him. No one was his equal. Everyone was just a pawn, or an animal. Especially me, his stupid, naive son, the coward, the fuck up of the family who was attracted to Men of all fucking things, which, in his eyes was somehow my greatest sin. I was his biggest fucking failure and he made sure I knew that. He orchestrated my entire shitty life just to rub that bullshit in my face. Down to what I did, who I saw, my friends and the fucking bastard I fell in love with. Just to make sure I knew that in his eyes I was less than a fucking Rat, that no one could love or care about something so fucking useless. That the people who Did get close to me were only there because they had some kind of agenda, or they were Told To, and that that's just how my life is and always will be. I don't even have anything that proves him wrong.

So, how's it feel Daddy Dearest? How's it feel knowing that I destroyed everything you set out to make. Including you. I destroyed your reputation, I destroyed the organisation, I destroyed The Garden, I destroyed Felix, I destroyed Everything. Everything you set out to do was ruined by My hand. I destroyed myself too, but I don't fucking care. It was worth it. If I had to become a monster to destroy you then so be it. In the end, I had nothing to fucking lose. Grandma was dead already, i don't even know if she actually loved me or if she just saw me as a tool to use for your downfall, but whatever the case she tried to help but she died for it. I don't think she died naturally. I'm not stupid. I know it was you. You, just, taking everything I had left that kept me a good person, taking the one person who Tried.

But you know what I hate most about all this? Is that I bet you feel some kind of sick satisfaction at what I became. Because you fucking succeeded. I'm not little innocent baby Ali anymore. I have nothing and I have no one, I don't even have myself which is exactly what you wanted. It makes me sick to think that I spent my entire life before that trying so, So hard not to give in, not to become consumed by this, but here we are and here I am.

I am not Alistair anymore. I'm the fucking Rat King and you were right. You were always fucking right.

Alistair Jacobi (ninestonesfictive)

[smutsonian]

All it takes

Pairing: Dark Thor x Reader

Summary: your mother works as Thor’s housemaid and you had to take over your mother’s job after she got sick

Warning/s: smut, dark thor, naive reader, manipulative thor, dub/con, daddy kink, talks about hospitals and illnesses that I don't know shit about, a lot of words and i mean A LOT of building up and shit

Word Count: 5306 (this was supposed to be just a drabble so wtf have i done?)

strawberrypoptartodinson said: Dark sugardaddy thor x reader pls

masterlist

Y/N stood in front of the door, trying to ease her breathing. Trying to conjure enough confidence to knock on the prestigious door. This wasn’t supposed to happen, she thinks. But for my mother, I’ll do anything.

(FLASHBACK STARTS)

You silently cried as you watched the nurses take your mother to the ICU. It was unexpected. You and your mother were just having your usual dinner at home when she fell to the floor, unconscious. You immediately called for help which got you to where you are now.

The hospital.

You waited and waited… and waited. You never left the hospital. You never left your mother’s side. How could you? She was the only one you have. She was the only family you’ve got. You would do anything to protect her.

Nurses that come every once in a while always advise you to go home, take a shower and rest but you never listen to them. You would never leave your mother. Not when she needed you most. But then the doctor told you what was happening with your mother’s health and that’s when you snapped out of it.

Apparently, your mother has been suffering from a disease for a while now and she never told you about it. She would come in and out of the hospital to have a check-up but the doctor told you that she stopped coming all of a sudden. You remembered how you just started taking classes again because your mother had enough money to help you and insisted that you quit your job because she can pay for your classes. The day you started taking classes is the day she stopped visiting the hospital.

“What?” you whispered, feeling like a shitty daughter for not knowing anything and being the reason why your mother is in that death bed right now. To make it worse, the doctor had to tell you that your mother needed surgery as soon as possible.

“Then carry on with the surgery. Please! Please save my mother.” you begged, willing to drop down to your knees and beg some more. The doctor looked at you sadly and told you the rules about paying before proceeding with the surgery.

Then your mother woke up and told you to just leave it be. She told you to continue going to your classes and asked for a favor. She asked for you to pay her employer a visit and tell him what has been happening so he wouldn’t be confused as to why she stopped going to work. She wanted you to quit for her. 

And that’s what you did. You went to her employer’s house but not with the agenda of quitting for her.

(FLASHBACK ENDS)

 *Knock knock knock* She knocks softly on the door as she took a deep breath, easing her nerves. She straightened her back when she heard rustling on the other side of the door and wore her best smile. Well, it’s now or never. You’re doing this for mother.

The door opened and revealed Adonis himself- or what seemed to be a reincarnation of the god. He was unbelievably tall. He can tower over anyone and he is definitely towering over her. His short hair is as golden as the riches he probably kept deep into his mansion. His beard is neatly groomed that just added to his rich guy aura. His ocean eyes held emotions but are hidden far back by his intimidating gaze. He’s wearing a gray shirt that hugged his physique and showed off his humungous arms and black sweats that fit his long legs. To keep things short, he’s beautiful.

His stoic yet handsome face twisted into a smile that had Y/N’s heart leaping in anxiety. Who knew that her mother worked for a 21st-century version of Adonis? 

“Can I help you?” his voice that held so much authority spoke up.

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment as she cleared her throat and spoke quietly, “Hi! Umm, Mr. O-Odinson?” 

He elicited a low chuckle and nodded in agreement, “Yeah. That’s me! But please, call me Thor.”

Y/N nodded in confirmation and sucked on her bottom lip absentmindedly. One of her mannerisms whenever she gets nervous. “Yeah… Well, my mother, __, she’s not really doing well right now. She’s currently in the hospital.” 

“Oh… That’s why she hasn’t come in for a week now.” Thor nodded, deep in his own thoughts. ���Is she going to be alright?” Thor’s questioned made Y/N blink blankly at nothing for a few seconds. How can such a beautiful man like Thor own a beautiful heart? How is that even possible? He’s handsome and he cares for your mother. Maybe he’ll accept your offer to take your mother’s job. 

“Little one? You alright?” Thor’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. What was the nickname all about?

“Yeah. I’m sorry. And no. She’s not doing too good and she needs to have surgery so she wouldn’t be able to come here anymore.”

“But that’s where I come in!” Y/N squeaked out before Thor could even say anything.

“Sorry...” Y/N smiled sheepishly but continued.

“Mr. Thor, I- My mother needs to go through surgery but we don’t have enough money to pay for it. If it’s okay with you, I would like to take over my mother’s job for her. Please, Mr. Thor? If it’s alright with you? We really need money for her surgery.” Y/N swallowed all her pride and begged the man in front of her.

Thor stared at her for a while, probably thinking about her words as she anticipated for his next words.

“Why don’t you come in and then we can talk about it, yes?” his voice held so much authority and seriousness that Y/N could only nod and follow him through the gigantic mansion.

Y/N yelped as oil started spitting out of the pan she was heating up. She hissed at the burning sensation when a drop fell on her forearm. “Ouch” she rubbed on the spot at a fast pace, hoping the pain would just go away. “You okay, little one?” Thor spoke up from behind her, watching everything that happened with an amused glint in his eyes. He stood up and walked over to her and stopping just inches in front of her. He was towering over her when he leaned down close to her face. 

“W-what-“ Y/N stuttered as she stared up at him.

“Relax, little one” Thor gave her a reassuring smile and moved his face to the side of hers, reaching behind her to shut the stove off. Y/N looked up at him, trying to hide the embarrassment from her facial features when Thor gave her a cheeky smile as he looked down at her.

Y/N yelped when Thor took her forearm and checked the small burn. “Relax, little one. I’m just trying to help you. We should put an ointment on this.” he tooted as he started opening drawers and cabinets, looking for something. Y/N stood still, breathing heavily and trying to get over the fact that she just embarrassed herself in front of Thor and probably ruined her chances of taking over her mother’s job. He asked her to make him something for lunch and she tried. She really did but cooking is not one of her best traits. Neither is cleaning. Her clumsiness is the one to blame for that. She knows she can’t take her mother’s place and so does Thor.

“You know if you want to take your mother’s place, you should be able to take care of me, not the other way around.” Thor let out a small laugh while dabbing the ointment on the burnt part on Y/N’s forearm. Thor’s eyes widened in surprise when Y/N suddenly grabbed the hand that was nursing her forearm. “Please, Mr. Thor! I can learn! I can learn new things real fast. It will work! Please… Just give me another chance! I really need this job. It’s the only way I can help my mother. Please…” Thor’s face turned into a frown when the younger girl cried in front of him. 

“Don’t cry, little one.” He finished putting the ointment and made his way to wipe the tears away from her face. “Don’t cry…” he repeated, brushing some hair away from her face this time around. “I-I really need to help my mother.” she sobbed against his chest when he pulled her towards him.

“I know. I understand. But I can’t have you working as my maid.” Thor cradled her face as he pulled away to examine her face. She was still sobbing, thinking that she had thrown her chances away. “I have a proposition for you.” He gave her a heart-warming smile that helped calm her down a little. “You see, I’ve had every single person in my life take care of me and I’m getting quite tired of it. I need someone to take care of instead. Not just someone. I need you. I want you. I want to take care of you.”  

When Y/N moved away to untangle herself from Thor, he frowned a tiny bit that Y/N almost missed it. “Take care of me? What does that even mean?” Thor grinned at her curious face and shrugged. “It means exactly what it means. I want to take care of you, little one. From the moment I saw you, I knew I wanted to protect you.” Her face grew more confused as he spoke his words. “Huh? Why would you need to protect me? You just met me. I have to work for you so I can earn money for my mother. I don’t understand-” Thor cut her off by placing his index finger against her tear-stained lips. 

“I know that, little one. I’ll pay you for keeping me company. I just ask for your company. That’s it.” 

“Your company? I’m sorry. I really don’t understand any of what you are saying… You’ll pay me for keeping you company?”

“Yes. That means that you would have to give me the majority of your time if that’s alright with you.” Thor gave her a charming smile, giving her the idea that she could be comfortable around him. That she can trust him.

“But that sounds too good to be true! Like, I’ll just stay by your side and then I’ll earn money from that?” she tilted her head in confusion as she furrowed her eyebrows.

Thor chuckled but nodded in agreement. Licking his lips, he took her hand in his gigantic ones and gazed at her with adoring eyes. “That’s all correct, little one. Then maybe I’ll ask a few favors from you in exchange for helping your mother at the hospital, is that alright?” he gave her a hopeful look.

“Yes! Anything to help my mother!” Y/N yipped in excitement which earned a satisfied smile from Thor. 

“That’s good to hear, little one.”

Days have passed and Thor was true to his words. He made sure that Y/N’s mother is well taken care of in the hospital. ____ had also undergone surgery when Thor started sponsoring them. All Y/N had to do was stay in Thor’s mansion with him and keep him company. She stayed in a guest room and would only accompany him if he wanted to converse with her.

Y/N and Thor were sat at the dining room, having their usual dinner. Thor hired a new handmaid called Percilla. A quiet but friendly old lady. Y/N would find herself asking her to teach her basic household chores without making a mess and Percilla was more than glad to help her. 

The clinking of utensils is the only noise that can be heard in the room but then Thor decided to break the silence. “So, little one. I wanted to ask you something.” He set his spoon and fork down the table and turned towards her. Y/N turned towards Thor with a questioning look and a tilted head. “Huh? What is it, Mr. Thor?” He let out a short chuckle and reached for her hands on the table. Y/N’s eyes fluttered and so did her heart at the man’s actions. 

“I have this gala that I have to attend this Friday and I was hoping you could come with me as my date.” He was so straightforward that Y/N had to take a second to process his words.

“Y-your date?” Y/N small voice spoke up after a long pause. Thor let out an airy laugh and nodded. “Yes. We did agree on you keeping me company am I wrong?” Thor unlatched his hands from Y/N’s and leaned his chin on his right one. Y/N’s face fell a little bit but she was quick to nod her head in a brisk manner. “Yeah! No! You’re right, Mr. Thor. I’ll accompany you in the gala.” she gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes like it always would.

“Darcy, my designer, will come later to take your measurements for the dress you’ll be wearing this Friday.” Thor took a sip from his wine glass and stood up. “I’ll be in my office if you need anything.” he gave her a smile and left the room, leaving her with a conflicted heart.

After dinner, Y/N went back to her room and had a shower before laying down on the soft bed that was provided for her. It’s too much of a spacious room for her. She thought that it was unnecessary to have a room that big- like a huge apartment- for sleeping and showering but Thor insisted and Y/N could never say no to him. He gave her so much that all she wanted to do was to make him happy in return by following his simple instructions. She was satisfied to see his joyous smile when she agreed to stay in the huge guest room.

When the clock hit 9:30, soft yet rapid knocks fell upon the bedroom door that took her away from her thoughts. Y/N sighed and pushed herself to walk towards the door. Opening it, a girl with dark hair and a big smile greeted her. “Hi! I’m Darcy! You’re Y/N, right?” her bubbly voice filled the room as she let herself in, leaving Y/N to close the door. When Y/N turned back to Darcy, she started babbling again. 

“You’re like really pretty! No wonder Thor kept you. I bet you would look good in floral. I KNOW you’ll look good in blue! It’s also Thor’s favorite color so that’s a win-win! I can do your hair too! Natural look looks good on you so light make-up would suffice. Oh, I can’t wait to see you all dressed up!” Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise as she tried to understand what Darcy was babbling about but only got the part where she would be fixing her up for the gala. Y/N smiled at the bubbly girl as she walks towards her. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Darcy.” she offered her hand to shake but Darcy just laughed at her.

“Oh, you’re really cute!” Darcy swatted Y/N’s hand away and pulled her close for a hug. “Just call me Darcy! I hope we become really good friends! You seem like a literal angel like no hint of evil nor dirt.” Y/N let out a short quiet laugh at Darcy who just stared at her with wide adoring eyes. “Like, at all.” she continued, her expression weirdly turning to a serious one in a matter of seconds. “Well, thank you for your kind words, Darcy. I think you’re really pretty too!” Y/N smiled shyly. Darcy let out a chuckle and pinched Y/N’s cheeks. “Such a cutie. Come on! Let me take your measurements and then we can talk and hang out!”

“All done! Can I play with your hair?” Darcy tucked the tape measure inside her bag and grinned at Y/N. “Uh… Yeah! Sure, go ahead.” Y/N responded with an unsure smile. Darcy yipped in joy and began doing numerous escapades on Y/N’s hair.

“Something’s missing…” Darcy had her right palm on her chin, imitating a thinking child. Y/N tilted her head and wore a fond smile at her new-found friend. Y/N jumped slightly when Darcy screamed and clapped her hands all of a sudden. “I know! Hey, Y/N! What do you say about going shopping?” and with that, Darcy left the room to probably tell Thor about their plans for tomorrow.

Thor has been busy for the past few days. The gala that will be held on the upcoming Friday has been keeping him from Y/N. That’s why Y/N isn’t surprised when Darcy dragged her to his office only to see him deep in his stack of papers. They were about to tell him that they’re leaving for the mall but it seems like he couldn’t care less about it, only humming in response when Darcy told him that they’re leaving.

“We need a ride” Darcy surprised Y/N with how she was brief for the first time since she’s met her. Thor sighed in exhaustion and motioned a hand absentmindedly, still has his eyes on the papers on his desk. “Take Heimdall with you. He’ll drive you.” A guy that’s about an inch smaller than Thor walked up to the girls and stared down at them with a poker face. Y/N gulped as she was intimidated by the man. “Hi, M-Mr. Heimdall. I’m Y/N. It’s nice to m-meet you.” Y/N gave her best smile, ignoring her nerves and held a hand out towards the tall guy. He surprised her by giving her a friendly smile and taking her hand with both of his. “Pleasure to finally meet you. I’ll be escorting you and Darcy. I assure you that you’re in safe hands.” With that, he walked out of the office, expecting the two girls to follow him. 

Y/N took one last glance at Thor but seeing that he was still buried in his work, she followed Heimdall out of the office and out of the mansion. Darcy took a while before she entered the car with a huff. “Are you okay?” Y/N asked, not used to seeing Darcy with an infuriated look on her face. Darcy’s face went back to its usual bubbly aura when she turned to look at the younger girl and quickly nodded, reassuring her that everything’s fine.

The day was spent with Darcy buying Y/N stuff that is unnecessary such as make-up, perfumes, and lotion but she insisted that it would be useful. ESPECIALLY for the gala. One of the things that she bought Y/N is a blue sundress that she forced her to wear as they bought it. It’s a blue sundress that had little puffy sleeves and fell down in the middle of her thighs. She still wore her white sneakers but it made her outfit more adorable- Darcy’s words.

The car ride home was spent with Darcy’s continuous babbling and Heimdall’s occasional chuckle of appreciation from Darcy’s words. Y/N tried to pay Darcy her attention but the thought of Thor couldn’t leave her mind. It feels like he’s been really preoccupied with the upcoming gala and his work or maybe it’s not that. Maybe he’s lost interest in her. Maybe he got bored with her and no longer needed her company. 

What if he throws her away the next time he sees her? What if he tells her that her company is no longer needed? He already paid for her mother’s surgery but why is she still worried about Thor pushing her away? If Y/N was the same person she was a few weeks ago, she wouldn’t be unnerved by Thor’s dismissiveness. She would be thankful that she could have more time for her classes and more time to visit her mother. But that’s not her now. She shamefully developed feelings for the older guy. He made her feel so safe and adored the first few days and she loved it. She loved how he made her feel. But maybe she was just acting like a high school girl with a silly crush. Maybe she should get her head out of the gutter. Thor said it himself. She was his companion. She was meant to accompany him in exchange for money. She’s nothing more than a paid worker.

Y/N’s heart began to beat rapidly when the car skidded to a halt in front of the mansion. She would have to face him. She made a plan to avoid him as much as possible when she’s not needed by him so she can prolong the inevitable. So she can prevent him from firing her. That plan was thrown out the window when Darcy started dragging her towards his office though.

Y/N stared daggers at her white sneakers as Darcy talked to Thor who was unsurprisingly still busy with his paperwork. “How long have you been going through those papers?” Darcy all but whined. Thor hummed boringly and muttered a reply. “Not too long.” “My ass! We left you like this, stayed in the mall for the whole day, came back at dawn and you’re still seated on that chair.” Darcy’s discomfort was palpable yet Y/N remained rooted on her spot, all her attention still on her white sneakers. Thor yet again hummed in reply, seeming uninterested. Y/N felt uncomfortable being in the presence of the two older adults who seem to be in conflict- more on Darcy’s side if Y/N was being honest. 

Not being able to handle the tension, Y/N slowly reached for Darcy’s shoulder, tapping it softly. “I think I’ll head over to bed now, Darcy. Goodnight” Y/N whispered and started making her way out, moving as ghostly as possible. Y/N was stopped by Darcy’s grip on her upper arm yet she wasn’t looking at her, she was glaring at Thor. Y/N couldn’t do anything but gulp at the situation, eyes widening when Darcy shouted at him. “For fuck’s sake, Thor! Can you just pay attention for one second?!” Y/N could hear Thor placing his pen down on the table and the screeching of his chair against the floor.

“What is so important that you have to interrupt me from doing my work, Darcy?” his voice was calm but there’s a hint of darkness and annoyance in his voice that has Y/N crying internally at Darcy’s defiance.

“I’d be more than willing to tell you but first, little Y/N here is about to head over to bed. Why don’t you show her some attention and quit being an ass. Just a tiny bit of attention.” Darcy’s tone was harsh but all Y/N could think about was how confusing her words are. How confusing the whole situation is. Trying to ease the tension, Y/N tucked a small piece of hair behind her ear and glanced up at Thor from her sneakers. His attention was now towards her, eyes slightly wider than usual. Smiling ever so slightly, her soft voice broke the hostile atmosphere. “It’s fine, really. It’s pretty late. I’ll just be heading to my room now. Goodnight Mr. Odinson.” She watched as Thor’s eyebrows twitch ever so slightly. She then turned towards Darcy with the same smile, “Goodnight Darcy. Today was fun.” and with that, she shyly walked out of the office without any interruption. 

Y/N sighed in relief when she entered the comfort of her room. That was intense for her. It was also weird. She noticed the unspoken conflict between Darcy and Thor but she didn’t think much about it. She didn’t have the right to. She was just another employee. She doesn’t have the right to meddle. Sighing, she walks over to the side of her bed, getting ready to unzip her dress when a knock came from the door.

“Little one?” 

Oh gosh. This is it. He’s going to fire me! Y/N paced back and forth, contemplating if she should open the door or just pretend to already be asleep.

“Please open the door, little one” the desperation and sadness in his voice forced her to walk towards the door and open it. Looking up at Thor, Y/N forced a smile and took a deep breath. “Hi” she squeaked out. Thor frowned at her ever so slightly but her heart whimpered when she noticed it. Here it comes.

“You look enchanting in that dress, little one.” Wait, what?

“Wha-?”

“I’m sorry that I’ve been distant, little one. I hope you didn’t feel neglected while I was busy with my job…” he spoke as he cradled her face.

“O-Oh no! Not at all! Darcy and Heimdall, they’re really nice and friendly!” Y/N moved her hands towards Thor’s and pulled away, giving him another false smile.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Mr. Odinson.” Thor frowned and took a step back. “I thought I told you to call me Thor?” he said, sounding disappointed and irked.

“I’m sorry-” Y/N tried to apologize but Thor cut her off.

“You’re upset with me, little one. It’s alright to be upset. I’ve been a useless fellow for the past few days.” he looked down, voice hoarse and sad.

“No! Really, Mr. Thor. It’s fine. You’re not a useless fellow-”

“Let me make it up to you. Please, little one. Let me please you.” He looked up and held her face with both of his enormous hands. “Do me a favor and let me please you.”

“W-what do you mean?” Y/N breathed out, shoulders moving along with her deep breaths.

“Let me make it up to you, little one. Please allow me to make you feel good. Allow me to make it up to you.” Thor was begging Y/N for something she couldn’t quite understand. What did he mean by pleasing her? What does make it up to her mean?

“I don’t understand” Y/N whispered as she held Thor’s hands that encased her face.

“Just tell me that you want me to make it up to you, princess.”

“O-okay.” Y/N nodded. 

“And another favor.” Thor’s eyes turned darker than usual and spurted a sly smile. One hand strayed away from her face and glided towards the hem of her dress, sliding it up and bunching it up on her waist. The other hand made its way towards her panties, stopping just above the fabric.

“Call me daddy as I please you.” Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise and confusion towards Thor’s favor. Her hands laid on his broad shoulders for support. 

“D-daddy?” 

“Yes. That’s right, princess.” Thor hummed in satisfaction and dragged her panties to the side, tracing his fingers along her folds.

“M-Mr. Thor!” Y/N grabbed the hand that was playing with her folds with panicked eyes.

Thor shook his head and tooted, “That’s not my name, princess.” 

“Daddy… W-what are you doing?” Y/N bit her lip as tears fall down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry, my little princess. I’m trying to please you. I can’t please you if you’re crying like this.” the hand that was playing with her folds left to cradle her face again. Thor leaned down and kissed her forehead, fixing her hair and wiping the tears away.

“Can you stay calm for daddy, princess? Can you do that?” Thor held her chin and waited for her answer. She nodded but Thor slightly shook his head. “I want to hear it, princess.”

“Y-yes, Daddy.” Thor smiled in contentment and slid his hand back towards her core, thumb instantly playing with her clit while his middle finger positioned itself just in front of her entrance, collecting the wetness that Y/N is producing.

“Mmmph” Y/N’s face scrunched when she felt a stir in her stomach and didn’t catch the way Thor stared at her face with admiration. 

“You’re doing so well, princess,” Thor whispered in her ear. Collecting enough wetness around his middle finger, he pushed in slowly, earning a whimper from Y/N. “Shh, shh. It’s okay, little one. It’s okay.” he kissed her forehead and rubbed his thumb on her clit at a faster speed while pumping his middle finger in and out of her. Thor moaned when he felt her walls clamp around his finger, her tightness doing wondrous effects on his cock that now tainted his dress pants. 

Y/N’s face wore a frown that screamed pleasure which Thor loved watching. Her mouth slightly opened, releasing heavy breaths as he played with her pussy. “Ahh…” she moaned as she started bucking her hips against Thor’s fingers which earned her a grin. “That’s right, princess. You’re so perfect for me.” He grunted as he sped his actions up, earning pleasurable cries from her.

Y/N’s eyes widened in alert when she felt her stomach doing somersaults. Afraid to make a mess, she tried to pull away from Thor but he didn’t allow it. The hand that was bunching up her dress pulled her closer and wrapped an arm around her. “Don’t worry, princess. Just relax and let go. You can do it, little one.” Thor added another finger in her and started curling it as he plunged it inside of her. 

Y/N’s body stiffened as she released into Thor’s hand. Her face is all scrunched up and tears are welling up in her eyes. Thor grinned as he brought his hand up, showing his glistening wrist and fingers. “Wow, princess. You’re a fountain!” he chuckled as Y/N hid her face by pressing her cheeks to her shoulder.

“No, no. None of that.” He chided as he gently took her chin with his dry fingers and grabbed her wrist with the other. “Look at what you do to me, little one.” he guides her hand down his pants, pressing it on his hard-on. “Feel what you do to daddy.” Y/N let out a gasp when she felt how hard and how big he is. Thor watched her with a smile, loving the way she reacts around him. Loving the way how she responds around him. Loving the way she clenched around his fingers. Loving the way how she acted the way he wanted her to act. Loving how his plan turned out so well.

“You were so tight around two of my fingers, I wonder how you would feel like around my cock.” Thor groaned as he pressed her hand harder against his cock. Loving the way she feels against him, he still made his way to push her hand away and caressed her face. “But we’ll have none of that now. Tell me, little one. Did daddy please you well?” Thor stroked her hair softly and watched as she nodded eagerly.

“Yes, daddy. It was amazing. I never felt that before.” Thor smiled and embraced her in a bear hug. 

“You deserve it, little one. Now let me clean you up.” Thor bent down to pick her up and walked towards her bathroom. He placed her on the counter and helped her out of the dress. Thor stared at her for a while before turning away to get a small damped towel. “You have such an angelic beauty, little one,” he says as he wipes her thighs and her core gently. Thor brushed her hair as he finished cleaning her and dressing her up. He carried her back to her room and placed her on the bed gently.

“Sleep tight little one.”

[redefiningthirtysomething]

It's been 2 years since I've gotten dolled up to go out. I've been focusing on my girls, the house and getting fit, I don't even wear makeup anymore. Maybe twice a month or so if we're going out on a family night, but even then it's usually a light cover up and breastfeeding friendly clothes. I haven't brushed my hair much, I didn't realize how tangled it was. I'm so quick to get dressed and back to the baby that I normally throw it in a top knot. The horror it was when I tried flat ironing my hair last night, I had the worst knot ever. Lol omg I was so bummed with myself for being careless with myself.

We went to a quinceanera last night for a family friend daughter. It was fun, it was nice to see familiar faces. We didn't stay long because Olivia was over the mariachi band after a while, she kept fussing. Plus she's a bit congested. Eli has to work early today as well. Overall we had a good night and I was able to break out my dusty ass heels. I miss my shoes. Funny thing is walking to the car I had to kick them off. These feet are used to sandals these days. I honestly couldn't wait to get in my tank and yoga pants. My boobs were engorged from my lack of feeding. I tried to feed her at the party but she had too many distractions she kept pulling off.

Today my mom's husband is making tacos "de lengua" tongue tacos. So freaking delicious. And this morning she made Chilaquiles. It's nice to have homemade Mexican food. I've been slacking on my eating and working out, but I'm enjoying the family time. I'll get back to it when they leave. I'm enjoying the delicious food, making the most of time with my mom. She's so happy with the weight I lost. I almost made her choke on her water though, she was going on and on about my weight gain and I looked at her and reminded her that I was pregnant and that happens unfortunately, she could not stop laughing. She just likes to give me a hard time but we joke around about it. But no in all honesty she said she's proud that I'm dedicated to my health for the girls. My health went to shit this weekend though. Worth it.

Eli came home early from work, he also wants to join us for Sunday funday. Bella is going shopping with her later, grandma spoils her at the mall, so she's excited. I heard ear piercing was on the agenda and a Claire's pit stop.

I'm totally feeling my late 30's, I feel better than ever. 37 is my new 27. Gotta keep rocking it and never let myself go, it's not who I am. I've always taken care of me. Sometimes motherhood is just so consuming when you love your little ones so much, without realizing it I forgot me a little.

I can do both if I try.

[getitinbusan]

Jungkook 

Your phone kept buzzing, the incessant noise trying to come between you and your sleep was infuriating.

5 Missed calls, unknown number, there was only one way to get it to stop.

"What on earth could be so important?" You questioned without knowing who was on the other end.

 "Good morning babe, are you ready for me?" The cocky voice asked.

 "How the fuck did you get my personal number Jungkook?"

He laughed, "Namjoon gave it to me, I told him about our last encounter and he was pretty impressed that we shared the same taste in women"

It was your turn to laugh,  "So hookers?"

You could hear him sigh.

"Listen, I thought we really had something together the other day. I'd like to take you out on a real date"

You felt your heart flutter, he was pretty much the perfect man. You could see a future with him and it scared you.

"Sorry Kookie, I don't need a boyfriend," and you hung up.  

Y/N: Fuck you Joon, never give anyone my number.  

Joon: You know who he is right? Kids got a ton of money and is going to break onto the scene any minute. I thought maybe it would be a new path for you, how much more of this shit can you take? We've been doing this a long time, I can feel you leaving your body when we fuck,  you aren't happy Y/N. 

Y/N: Jesus, is it that bad Joon? 

Joon: You're still the best fuck in town, but yeah. He really likes you, maybe give it a shot. You'd be set for life and we could still have sex behind his back.  

Y/N: I really don't know why, but I love you Joon. 

Days went by and Jungkook never called back,  it was probably for the best.

Jin tried to book you but you told the agency you were done with him and to send someone else.

Maybe it was time for a new career, or maybe it was time to settle into a mediocre relationship,  you'd saved a little money, you could always just skip town.

As you sat contemplating your next move you got a text from the agency.  

A: Trimage #746 @8:30. First time customer, virgin male. Will send a car to pick up.

Y/N: Is this legit? It's not Taehyung trying to get me back with a false order? How many rich horny guys are there in that building? 

A: Checked out. Taehyung stopped calling a few weeks ago. Gave up after we told him you didn't want to see him anymore.  

Y/N: Has he ordered someone else? 

A: No, paid his account off and that was it.  

Your heart felt split open again when you thought about your last night with him. He was gentle and kind, he didn't even care if you had sex with him.

BUT… you told yourself,  he left you there alone after, he ran away, he made you feel things he wasn't ready to commit to. Shaking it off, you went and showered for your next appointment.  

The car dropped you off in the underground and you made your way up in the elevator. A few knocks to the door and you were left in surprise when Jungkook opened it to greet you. 

"I know your playing hard to get but I also know you still think of me inside you.

When Joon was fucking you, you wanted it to be me."

You're head was dizzy, feeling blindsided you weren't sure which way to steer this.  He felt dominating, it had shown through a bit last time but wasn't he a virgin? 

Stepping toward him you'd figure his game.

"So, you like to play innocent and naïve, pretend you have no experience in bed and then wow em with your skills huh Jungkook with the golden cock?"

He laughed at your quick summation of his agenda.

"Doesn't everyone have an angle, a game, a strange addiction?" he said tucking your hair behind your ear.

"So if this is just a fantasy game Jungkook, what's the real story? What are you escaping from? I've heard you've got everything, what do you need me for?" 

He stopped,  he was trying to figure out what you wanted to hear.

"Honestly Y/N, I just really enjoyed fucking you and I thought maybe we could do it because we like each other and not because I'm paying you."

You smiled at his admission, finally cutting through the bullshit.  

You both lunged forward toward each other and began pulling clothes off as you made your way up the hall. By the time you got to the bedroom you were both completely bare,  pushing you back on the bed he laid on top of you.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, you've fucking wrecked me for anyone else. I just need to get off and then I'll fucking eat you till your pussy's raw."

He was fucking growling with desire when he pushed his cock straight into you. He was rough,  fucking you so hard his whole bed shook.

Freezing, he pulled out, "suck my cock, I want to fuck your face."

Doing as you were told, you took him in your mouth, you rocked your body back and forth gaining speed until he was hitting the back of your throat.

"Fuck Y/N, I'm going to fucking cum, can I cum on you?"

As you moaned in agreeance he shot his load all over your face. He handed you his t shirt to wipe yourself off when his phone rang. 

Answering all you heard was "shit, thanks" turning to you mortified, he began throwing your clothes at you "you've gotta go, like now, my girlfriends on her way up."

 You didn't move, you were 100% done with this.

Slowly reaching for your clothes you really couldn't believe this is what your life had become.

"Hurry up, get the fuck out, she'll kill me" he was in a frenzie trying to pull together the disheveled bed.

Taking your time and glaring at him as you zipped yourself up you heard her keys as she entered the apartment.  He ran out closing the bedroom door behind him sealing you inside.

You could hear him cooing at her in the other room, what a fucking asshole. 

Owing him nothing, you walked out and handed her his shirt full of cum, "Sorry about the sheets" you let yourself out and headed for the elevator.  

It was decision time, your finger hovered over the elevator panel, were you going up or down?  

[a-jjpark]

Who says I don't have a fucking dumbass agenda that I have to lie to care for? Who the fuck says I'm incapable of telling a narrative? The fuck, you're just a fucking dumbass who keeps to himself all the information because you don't want to fucking get laid. Idiot. Go back to the mainland. Dumb bitch.

Perpetuate

False truth

Half-yell

Going to school

Roommate

Now you're telling me that I can't have a best man because I have to bullshit my way through this half excuse of a lie because I hate all men. Because I hate half of the entire world population.

People just straight up lie to me. Why do they lie? Because I am the liar? Because I keep saying that I'll transition when in reality I'm defacing the entire East Asian race? So fuck off you pieces of shit I'll get my shit together plaese have mercy or please just kill me already unless you like to suffer. Why the fuck do you lie? Why do you want to stay ahead? For a new car? To get the fuck out of these cursed islands? The fuck you even want. Dumbass piece of shit white trash

I'll say I can

You moved back here so you could concentrate? Or to clean up your mess?

What mess? Erm? D? R? J? A? L? SC? E? The fuck you even want from me? Tell me the truth you bitfch. Am I an idiot or just suicidal? Do I keep lying because I want to die that badly? Is the pain too much? Euthanaisa? Someone would really end my life because I'm that deragneed?

Ohhh,. That’s what you've been telling me. That I should just kill myself. That's what you've wantyed me to do all this time. Because I can't handle life. I can't handle the fucking rats that are keeping me from advancing in this soceity called bullshit.

Fuck you want from me. To suffer. To watch my body rot. Fucking idiot. You've become so fucking privleged I can't even call you a rat anymore. Fucking bitt h. Couldn't kill me instead just threw everything that he'd pull out of his ass to get the one up and laugh me off like a little bitch

Fuck you all of you

You're not the vitcim.

Im not cleaning up anything. It's not my mess.

Sorry? Kill yourself? I will always love you? Keep smoking you dumbass? 4? 4 6? 3? 5 2? 4 1?

Stop talking to me

They keep lying to me

They keep fucking with me I don't know why

Fuck off.

Just leave me alone.

We were never friends.

Neither were we. The other guys.

Because I'm too fucking weird.

Fuck you little

Fuck off

I don't have anyone.

Fuck you I never had anyone

I want to drink detergent

I want to jump off a building

I want to smoke a pack of cigarettes

I want to die before I turn 40

I don't want you

Give me a kitchen utensil I'd like to stick it into a power outlet

Fuck you never cared

Why did I cry for you

I must die

I smoke because I want to get lung cancer because I am too afraid of the pain that would occur from jumping off a twenty story building. I want to get lung cancer. Because I don't have access to pain killers. And bitcoin is down so I can't acquire them.

Once bit coin hits 100k or something Ill accure enough painkilers to OD and die from jumping off a building.

Because I'm a pussy

I'm a fucking pussy. I'm a bimbo sissy who is genetically inferior to everyone. I am sub human. I do not deserve a title. I am not human. I am below that of a human.

I don't have rights.

[cat-sapphics]

you genuinely think my original intent was to stop you??? you’re a stubborn and defensive person. you always have been. nothing i say is gonna change that. do i want you to go back to being a decent person? yeah, sure. am i gonna try to go through with that?? no. it’s pointless and we both know it.

+ .. i’m only on anon bc i feel like it, & my account wouldn’t give u anything anyways. yes i used to be friends w u, and who i specifically am changes nothing. point is you’re a hypocritical freak who doesn’t understand they can be in the wrong. you used to talk about your self proclaimed “toxic personality” as if it was a good thing. and that’s all not to mention your “opinions” always changing to fit ur self centered agenda. you literally just openly admitted you don’t care that ur favs r racist. at least you used to PRETEND to care???

so no, i’m not trying to change you. you’re way too far gone, and that’s why people find this funny. because there’s no point in reacting any other way! have fun living off of discourse, it seems absolutely miserable, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, would you.

literally FUCK OFF MY PROFILE oh my god. i'm serious, do not send me another ask or it will get deleted. laugh about it somewhere else, not to me please.

fun fact btw just because i don't feel like hiding it - i've been this way for at least three years. i got banned from my little amino app group in 2019 for talking shit about members after being falsely given a leadership position (if you search it up on mcytdrama twt i'm sure you can find a mention of it somewhere). i was stubborn and defensive and angry then. i NEVER changed. i NEVER got better. i don't know where you get the idea that i "used to be" a decent person but you're remembering me wrong and i don't need your little benefit of the doubt. i don't have anything to lose, so yeah, i'm openly not gonna give a shit that one of my only sources of positivity anymore is considered racist by some entitled freaks. i do discourse because the anger and ranting i get out of it allows me to actually feel something as a distraction to how often i just stare at the wall and want to die. i don't plan to "get better" and i hate your mocking concern so damn bad. again, i don't need to be TOLD that i've fallen far to a point where i'm irredeemable; i know. i fucking know. fuck off and leave me alone the way i'm used to it.

all i did in that paragraph was tell you things you apparently already seem to know, so you don't need to respond anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[amorremanet]

10 facts about meme: Lucy? And Adelaide, if you don't mind doing two?

send me one of my oc’s and i tell you ten facts about them

This is the shitty, “I fell asleep instead of doing this last night, and then, when I was almost fucking done, trying to make tumblr instant messenger stop doing something made it decide to click over somewhere else, and Firefox apparently doesn’t let the Lazarus extension work anymore, so I lost everything and am completely skimming out of frustration because the original was detailed and cool, and I lost basically all of it” version

LUCY

1. Has never completed a Pokémon game with a grass or water starter. She just doesn’t bond with them as much as she does with the fire starters, and any time she tries to pick a grass or water starter, she inevitably gives up, restarts, and picks the fire starter instead.

2. Since she turned 18, she’s made a point of giving blood as often as possible, because she’s type-O negative (the universal donor), and the Red Cross is pretty much always running short on blood, which can leave a lot of people totally screwed when they need to get transfusions.

3. Doesn’t believe in astrology and dismisses most of things in that vein as a cold-reading scam that’s based on exploiting people’s ability to project themselves onto anything…… but she does have an interest in dream interpretation.

4. She finds recipes confusing, and is even more befuddled by the Food Network and, “how to make [x baked goods]” videos on youtube, to the point that she finds them more stressful than getting a, “We need to talk” text from her parents. And yet, she is not confused by instructions in a chemistry lab.

5. She loves her red hair, but hates being called, “ginger.” It’s not that she thinks the word is offensive or anything; she just thinks that it sounds weird and slightly disgusting.

6. One of her favorite forms of, “teenage rebellion” was watching televangelists (or more accurately, having them on while she did other stuff because it’s really easy for Lucy to tune them out), which Lucy wouldn’t have liked so much if she’d actually paid attention to any of them (because of how televangelists exploit their viewers’ pain and suffering, get rich off of it, and don’t have to pay taxes on most of that money because they call it, “religious donations”) — but it did successfully annoy her very Catholic parents and very Catholic, “he’s a legit priest and everything” uncle.

7. A horror movie can be as political or politically coded as it wants. Unless it does something truly novel with the genre, like Get Out, then Lucy will probably just roll her eyes, complain about how many people value, “edginess” over quality, and then go watch The Great Mouse Detective for the umpteenth time. It’s not even that she gets squicked by horror movies, because she stops at dismissing all of them as edgelord garbage and doesn’t give them a chance.

8. She has even less patience for the films of Christopher Nolan, and literally the only one that she doesn’t go in too hard on is The Dark Knight, which only gets any consideration because Heath Ledger died not that long after making it, in ways that were pretty heavily associated with the movie in popular culture.

Not that she really cares about Heath Ledger, or even about the taboo on speaking ill of the dead, but she figures that he isn’t Ronald Reagan levels of terrible, or worse, so it’s easier to just not get into it with people over Heath Ledger when all that she wanted to say was that The Dark Knight isn’t actually that great

She will, however, talk shit about Ronald Reagan pretty much any time she’s given an opportunity, and especially if her Mom and Dad are around (because they were big Reaganites, back in the day, and annoying them with her hatred of the Gipper keeps them from paying attention to things like how her, “best friend” Sara Grace is actually her girlfriend)

9. Her answer to the question of whether she prefers cats or dogs will probably be something like, “iguanas” because she hates the assumption that it’s not possible to love cats and dogs more or less equally, but she also has better things to argue with people about.

10. She can’t whistle, she’s not really a very good dancer, and the last time she tried to tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, she wound up swallowing it.

ADELAIDE

1. At 5’11”, Addie is taller than her big brother and their Mom (who are both 5’10”), and when standing up as best man when Max and Linda got married, she didn’t try to make him feel short, but she did wear a nice pair of heels and didn’t really go out of her way not to make him feel short, either.

2. By all rights, Addie probably should’ve been diagnosed with ADHD a while ago, but because her childhood and adolescence lasted from about 1986-2000 (when she turned 18), and because in 2017, ADHD is still badly misunderstood and under-diagnosed in AFAB kids, Addie got missed and made it to 33, thinking that all of her ADHD symptoms are just personal quirks or failings.

3. Her favorite color is purple. The darker the shade, the better.

4. Her ability to interpret song lyrics is often questionable. Like, on one hand, she’s totally made the mistake of hearing, “There’s a bathroom on the right” instead of, “There’s a bad moon on the rise” during the chorus of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising”

—and on the other hand, she completely missed that most of Missy Elliot’s “Work It” is explicitly about cunnilingus until Pete asked her what the Hell she thought the lyric, “Go downtown and eat it like a vulture” was referring to, especially given its proximity to Ms. Elliot talking about shaving her chocha. (All Addie has to say for herself is that she got caught up on the, “Girls, girls, get that cash / If it’s 9 to 5 or shakin’ your ass” verse.)

She also thought that Spice Girls were singing about group sex in “Wannabe,” rather than singing about making sure that your significant other can get along with your gal pals, and she kept thinking this until mid-September 2012.

5. As far as her family knows, Addie almost got arrested on her 18th birthday and had to run from the cops while she and a few friends were kinda drunk and screwing around in New York City. What really happened was that her birthday was on a Saturday, so they signed themselves out of school for the weekend, went to NYC, and saw the revival of Jesus Christ Superstar because her parents bought them tickets.

Then, they used fake ID’s to get some alcohol and got kinda drunk. Then, while they were screwing around in Brooklyn instead of going to cousin Jeremy’s place and crashing for the night, they wound up going by a gay bar, where Addie tripped over her own feet and got caught by a cute butch lesbian who happened to be dressed as a sexy cop for a themed party at said gay bar and had gone outside for a smoke break.

Then, one of Addie’s friends mistook this poor woman for a real cop and insisted that they run, and despite putting it together in the cold, sober light of day that there had been no actual danger, Addie told Sebastian the, “We so totally almost got arrested” story because she thought it sounded cooler, and at this point, it’s been 15 years, and she doesn’t see a point in correcting her family when her younger cousins get the, “Don’t get too rowdy on your 18th birthday or you may end up running from the cops like Adelaide” cautionary tale.

6. She would probably try to play real-world Quidditch, if she could get anyone to play with her, but that’s not going to happen, because everyone who knows her also knows that Addie is competitive as fuck, and that playing “muggle Quidditch” with her is a good way to get at least mildly injured.

7. She can see where the dislike that a lot of people in her life have for the All-Stars comes from, but personally, Addie doesn’t buy into it herself. She doesn’t really care to defend them, either, but at this point, she feels like most of the world’s problems can’t be solved with super-strength or heat vision, and they’re more complicated than the All-Stars’ image would allow them to handle, so it’s best to see the All-Stars as entertainers, rather than actual heroes.

Not that she begrudges anyone their annoyance with the fact that the All-Stars make, “we are actual heroes” a cornerstone of their so-called “brand,” but if you ask Addie, it’s not all that much different from how U.S. politicians lie up one side and down the other about basically everything, and how much of U.S. politics is increasingly little more than a theatre spectacle to cover up what’s actually going on

Oddly enough, Addie is accidentally on to something with that, because a lot of the supervillains in this universe are not truly participating in any shadowy conspiracy…… but they are being manipulated by members of one, and alternately being used as a source of talking points, or as distractions, so that the folks in said shadowy conspiracy (who are a mix of mutants and not) can push through their own agendas and try to secure their own power at the expense of anyone who gets in their way

Not that it’s really here or there at the moment, but this is totally going to bite them in the ass, partly from the people they’ve been exploiting and screwing over for decades putting shit together and pushing back, and partly because they decide to bank on installing a puppet who isn’t as easily controlled or as easily made to serve their agendas as they think. Anyway, as I was saying.

8. If Adelaide hadn’t gone into the family business and started vying with Max to see who’s going to become CEO when their Dad retires, she probably would’ve gone into advertising. If not that, she most likely would’ve gone to law school.

However, despite the fact that her Mom and several of her cousins are lawyers, Addie’s notions about how being a lawyer works are mostly derived from Legally Blonde, Ally McBeal, and Law and Order: SVU, so it might be a good thing that she has no idea what she’d actually want to do at law school.

9. Popular wisdom holds that she only isn’t the worst driver out of her siblings because Sebastian is the one who should’ve racked up multiple DUI charges by now, by all rights shouldn’t have his license anymore, and rarely uses it these days anyway because he, “doesn’t have PTSD, he just doesn’t like driving okay, it kinda freaks him out” (…which it does because of the PTSD that he allegedly doesn’t have but that’s another matter)

Addie holds that this popular wisdom is misogynistic bullshit being passed off as familial teasing, because actually, she’s a much better driver than all three of her brothers (with both cars and motorcycles, though only she and Seb have ever driven one of those, so it’s a little unfair to Max and Ambrose)

—and she may not know how to fix more complicated car problems, but she can at least get a better grasp on what might be wrong than, “I don’t know, it keeps making a thunka thunka thunka sound if you go above 60 mph” and she has more than once fixed something for her brothers that turned out to be something like, “You were driving with the parking brake on, dumb-ass”

10. Her go-to karaoke night songs are Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl” — the latter of which would be funnier to Adelaide if she’d intended to sound hella bi when she first started doing it, rather than picking it because she was kinda drunk and knew all the words, then getting really into singing it and having no conscious idea where those emotions were coming from