#i don’t usually paint because i don’t usually have the resources (canvases) to but i figured out a way to create my own so we rockin

[happybeeps-nat]

Prompt idea: Post-war, Finn and Poe attend some sort of art therapy session together.

A/N: oooh thank you so much for this random, weirdly specific prompt, I was so delighted when I got it and writing something for it was fun! BUT I have not a single idea as to how art therapy works? And so I focused more on the art than on the therapy, I hope this is to your liking! Thank you so much for the prompt! 💕

Light angst, obviously, but the hopeful kind

Words: 1478

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Scars On Our Future Hearts

“Where exactly are we going again?” Poe asked as he was being dragged along by Finn who seemed to know where he was going at least. 

“Art therapy,” Finn replied, way too chipper considering the circumstances. Therapy. Art therapy! Poe had as much to do with art as he had with wielding a lightsaber or lifting rocks. But sure. Let’s go do some art therapy, what a wonderful idea, Finn. He sighed and said nothing. That was how it went most days. He talked a lot but didn’t feel like he said anything. 

Okay, so maybe this art therapy was actually a good idea… 

“Doctor Kalonia recommended it,” Finn explained. “It’s unconventional but says it’s actually a good approach after a war. And it can’t really hurt.” 

“Yeah, except in all the ways therapy usually hurts,” Poe muttered. 

“Exactly!” Finn smiled, coming to a stop in front of a nondescript building. It looked like all the others, but Finn with his photographic memory would know exactly how to differentiate it from their surroundings even though he’s never been here. Finn was awesome like that. 

“I promised her we’d try and if it’s not for us, we can just, you know. Not come back again.” 

The casual we that Finn threw around casually still made Poe feel warm all over. 

“Okay, okay, let’s try this thing. It it in there?” Poe inclined his head toward the building. 

Beside him, Finn nodded and squeezed the hand he was still holding. “You ready?” 

“Nope,” Poe sighed and let the p pop, but shrugged. “Let’s do this. Can’t be worse than crashing a TIE-fighter, right?”

*

Well, turned out it was actually pretty much like crashing a TIE-fighter. Or, like the moment right after the crash. The second of numbness where you didn’t know anything, not even if you were still alive. You didn’t know if anything hurt but you also didn’t know if everything was okay. You had a minute where your judgment was clouded and the only thought was “I need to get up and leave” until you realise that’s not possible because slowly, everything comes back to you. Why you’re there, what happened to get you there in the first place.

And now Poe was staring at a blank canvas and he had no idea what to do, what to feel, what to think, what to say. He had no idea what to draw. 

Future, they had said. Future was the prompt for this session, and it was a stupid shitty prompt, like, who even asked veterans about their life plans? They had none! For years, Poe’s future had consistent of the present need to not fucking die, and now here he was, in a non-threatening room full of blank canvases and he was asked about his life and he had nothing to fucking draw. He had nothing to think, he had nothing to say. He barely even had a life.

So the canvas stayed blank while Poe stared at it, feeling as just as empty. Directionless. Not a single splash of colour on his mind, not a single line to give him the vaguest idea od a direction. He was just Poe Dameron, former pilot to the New Republic Navy, former commander of the Resistance who got promoted to the rank of General because he had just enough hope and idiocy left in him to actually go through with winning. That hope was now gone, because why hope to win when you’ve already won? Why create colours when that would just be a waste of resources an actual artist could need? 

He had nothing but Finn. Finn who was painting his canvas in the brightest of colours, splashes and lines and everything all over the place, and the board looked ecstatic. It was colourful, it looked random but Poe could see an order there. A system. And of course it was there, Finn would never get rid of that part of him that needed order in everything. But now he had the chance to create the order by himself. 

Poe smiled a little as he watched Finn paint, and picked up his pencil again. Yellow, blue, green, red, in all their shades. And in the middle, right in the centre, there was a splash of orange, looking out of place but also just right. It completed the painting, gave it a meaning, an order, a direction. A centre. And it was the same shade of orange as Poe’s old flight suits from the Resistance. 

It warmed him to see that, to see the colours, to see that maybe this meant Finn saw a bright future, a colourful life, and Poe right there with him. Poe in his centre. Poe in his heart. 

What a wonderful thought. He smiled to himself and stared at his own blank canvas. Then back at Finn’s concentrated form, and without really thinking about it, he mixed a few colours himself. It was the same deep, dark shade of brown as Finn’s skin, yet bright in a way it looked when the sun was dancing on it. Brown with a touch of gold. 

Poe grabbed the biggest brush he could find and spread that colour on the whole canvas until there was no untouched space left. The whole thing was covered in golden brown, some places darker than others, and all of them reminding him of Finn. 

On a whim, he used more of that golden colour and painted a few traditional Yavinic ornaments. Small, fragile little things, drawn with more care than he’d thought he could use, but the result was absolutely worth it. 

It wasn’t perfect and real artists would probably roll their eyes at him for feeling pride as he looked at it, but to him it was perfect. It was his future. It was Finn. Because maybe it was okay that he had no direction, that he felt lost without a cause, even if that cause he used to have was tainted with death and killing and losing and pain. It had been a cause. And now he had none. But he had Finn, so maybe that could be his future. 

Everything else, he thought, was a bonus. Direction, meaning, structure, he could find all of that, build all of that with Finn by his side. But without Finn, there was no future. Not for him. 

He sighed. This absolute dependence was dangerous and he knew that, he’d have to do something about it, there was nothing romantic about it and it spoke more of his trauma than his lack of words ever could say, but he also knew that wasn’t the whole story. He was in love with Finn, absolutely enamored every day anew. Finn completed him in every aspect, he loved him back with his whole heart, Finn had a huge orange splash in his painting that maybe stood for Poe’s love in the centre of his world. This wasn’t just co-dependence. This was love, a love as deep and as old as time, and one he couldn’t deny. 

Finn was his future. And not just because of his past. He would be in every kind of universe. No matter the story. 

*

They got to keep the paintings, brought them home, talked about them. Not with the therapists but with each other. Finn explained every line, every splash, every dot and every brush, the order in it that still felt like chaos. Told him how he was feeling. About himself, about them, about the present and about the future. 

And so did Poe. “I, uh, I think I did it wrong? But it doesn’t feel wrong, so… Yeah, anyway, I don’t know what to do. What the future holds or even what I will do tomorrow. I may not even know who I am when I’m not a hotshot pilot or Resistance General. I never had to be just Poe Dameron, and I don’t really know who that is. But I would like to find out? With you by my side? And build a life and all that stuff, but not without you. And I have no plans. I only have you, and that’s pathetic, I guess, but-” 

Finn silenced him with a kiss. Then apologised, because Poe was finally talking and he had to ruin that, but Poe just laughed, relieved. He’d finally said it. He was Poe Dameron and he didn’t know what that meant but with Finn by his side, he was ready to find out. 

Later, Finn grabbed his hand and took him to bed, giving him a detailed insight to who he thought Poe Dameron was. There were still traces of paint on their skin, but for some reason that made everything feel more real. Like they were okay, and like they had a future. Together. 

[lovemollywho]

Thoughts of the Past - Reimagined

Alright fair warning, this is a lot more angsty (?) than the other chapters, and I am not sorry about it.

CW: Angst...like I’m not kidding this hurt to write

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter 

When Lorcan walked into the gallery with Aelin and Rowan he was greeted by a friendly staff member who directed him how the show should be viewed. She handed all three of them a pamphlet that contained the artwork and prices for the pieces that were for sale, mentioning that the proceeds tonight benefited public schools in the area keep their art programs. Aelin thanked the staff member and whispered something to Rowan who nodded before she slipped away. 

“Aelin is going to look for Elide, do you want to come with us or…?”

“No,” Lorcan responded. “I’m gonna look at the pieces that Elide did. I should,” he cleared his throat, “I should appreciate them, I mean her,” he sighed, “I mean the art.”

Rowan chuckled slightly as his friends' nervousness, nodded and followed after Aelin. Lorcan nodded at the staff member and followed a couple of people who were walking into the first part of Elide’s show and stopped. 

All the air that he had left his body. 

The first portrait he saw was of him. It was of him sitting on a curb, elbows braced on knees, a lit cigarette in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other. His hair was windblown around his face and he was smiling.

He got closer to the painting and looked at the label, First Smile, Oil, and Acrylic on Canvas, 18 x 24, Elide Lochan.

Lorcan looked at the painting closely, there were some parts of the painting that were blurred or out of focus - his eyes, for instance, were squinted from the smile on his face but were painted in a way that looked like they were painted over. The main focus was his smile though, everything from the cigarette that was placed in his hand near his mouth, to certain windblown strands of his hair. But the title. First smile?

This portrait reminded him or so many days spent with Elide or even Rowan that he couldn’t pinpoint where or when this portrait was supposed to take place. He decided to move forward and was confused by a banner reading ‘Once upon a time’. Looking at the pamphlet that the staff member had given him he found that the exhibit was split into five parts that told an overall story.

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“Ellie, wait please.” Aelin followed Elide into the bathroom that was near the bar. “You just said that you wished he was here.”

Elide was pacing in front of the sinks, “I know what I said,” she moved to take her hair out of a ponytail and into a bun before remembering that her hair was styled so she did the next best thing - she washed her hands….furiously.

“I said it in a way that any person wishes to stumble across their ex to show off that they are doing really well without them.”

“Well that’s definitely the case here.” Aelin sighed handing her a couple of paper towels to dry off her hands.

“I don’t think,” Elide sighed, balling up the paper towels and throwing them away, “I don’t know if I want to talk to him.”

Aelin walked over to the settee couch that was placed in the bathroom for the exact reason of having secret, deep, or meaningful conversations. “Listen,” she said patting the spot next to her, “I am on your side no matter what, I need you to understand that. Okay?” Elide sighed and sat next to Aelin. “I’m not going to like what comes out of your mouth, am I?” She asked crossing her arms. Aelin huffed a laugh, “Probably not, but you need to hear it anyway.” Elide took a deep breath and motioned for Aelin to continue.

“Lorcan and I were never destined to be friends.” Elide’s head shot up to Aelin’s face. “I have never met anyone that was objectively more of a pain in the ass than I could be on any given day. He is moody as hell, standoffish, and he’s about as nice as a carnivorous plant.” Elide opened her mouth to say something but Aelin held up a finger telling her to wait.

“Still, I could see the way he looked at you and knew that if anyone could help smooth the edges of his soul it would be you.”

Elide lifted her face and began to try to blink back tears. Still looking at the ceiling she responded. “It is not my job to fix him.” The words came out sharper than she had intended especially because she knew that Aelin’s words were coming from a good place. Aelin’s hand took hers. “I know that. That wasn’t what I was trying to say. I only meant that...” Aelin sighed. “There is something that I’m not supposed to tell you. In fact, I don’t think I’m even supposed to know but Rowan told me and even if I can stand Lorcan now, doesn’t mean I have that much loyalty to him.” Elide brought her index finger to gently dab under her eye, careful not to ruin her makeup. Aelin stood up and grabbed the box of tissues next to the sink before sitting down again.

“What is it?” Elide asked.

And then Aelin explained that for the past month and a half since Elide had left, Lorcan had been going to AA meetings with Rowan and with the couple’s help was not only going to therapy but also had quit his in cybersecurity and gotten a new one working in software engineering, finally accepting Rowan’s offer to put his degree to work. That not only was he and Rowan finally working together after all this time but that they were developing a program that would help the families in Terrasen easily find resources to help them within their communities anonymously so that they didn’t have to worry about seeming weak or being judged.

“I don’t...understand.” Elide said slowly once Aelin was done talking. “I mean it’s not like I didn’t know that Lorcan was capable of doing amazing things but I just don’t understand why now.” Elide grabbed another tissue and blew her nose.

“I think he’s just trying to show you that he’s changed...or I guess changing would be a better way to describe it.”

“He hasn’t called me once A. The only time I’ve talked to him was when I asked to meet him so he could sign the disclosure release.”

“I don’t have all the answers El. Talk to him, don’t talk to him. You broke up with him for a reason, and if you decide to ignore him for the rest of the night that’s is 100% complete valid, Ro and I will keep him away from you. However, if there is just some tiny part of you that doubts or second guesses whether or not you made the right decision in leaving, take this chance to make sure.” Aelin handed Elide the small clutch she came in with. “Inside are wet wipes, mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss. Fix yourself up, I’m going to look at your art.” Aelin stood up and checked herself in the mirror.

“This is your night babe, you’re a badass with a great ass.” Aelin winked at Elide who let out a small laugh before heading out of the bathroom.

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Lorcan may not have known much about art but he knew the story that was being told. It was his story, seen through Elide’s eyes and admired by the random strangers who were here. He heard some people discussing how this was not only an impressive collection of work but also a change of pace from her usual pieces, combining a variety of mixed media with paintings. Lorcan kept his ears open for remarks made about the pieces if only so he could understand and mimic key phrases that the people around him used, but it was hard when he knew the story behind Elide’s art and not just a theory of what it was about.

Five sections; The Beginning, The Sex, The Love, The Pain, The Future.

Walking through The Beginning was like a blast from the past. Every bit was a memory or story that he had experienced with Elide. Four 16x40 inch black canvases had bubbles blowing through each, and while you couldn’t tell who was blowing the bubbles, Lorcan knew that it was Elide’s hand. Hidden within the bubbles were little clues about their relationship, so minuscule that no one but him knew. They would just see a Farris Wheel, a teddy bear, a popcorn container, and a rocking chair.

“There seems to be a reoccurring theme of security in each of these pieces, don’t’ you think?” Lorcan overheard a couple talking.

“I was thinking the same thing, like this piece over here with the lightbulbs, and how each time someone gets close to it they turn on. Like that’s such great imagery to being safe. Parents turning on a night light during bedtime, coming home from a long day and the lights are on because your significant partner is already inside. Or even the painting that used gum wrappers, is reminiscent of childhood.” The couple began to walk down to look at other pieces and Lorcan couldn’t help but follow them with their eyes. Was that how Elide saw him? As something safe to come home to at the end of the day? There were times at the beginning of their relationship when she said she would rather be with him than go home. When they first met he knew that she had just moved out of her Uncle’s house. Aelin always got a dark look in her eyes whenever Vernon was mentioned but Elide had never said anything….and like an idiot he had never asked.

He continued walking.

The next part of the exhibit - The Sex, was a much different layout. The lights were dim to highlight the use of neon lights and blacklight paints. The pieces in this part of the collection were bigger and took up more space but there was a rhythm here that could be felt. The paintings are more obscure and vague here, less of the innocence that was seen in the beginning, but if this was still following his and Elide’s relationship - as he was now finally figuring it was, the sex had never been the problem in their relationship. They could always find each other in bed...or the couch...or the kitchen island...or...well you get the point. Words and feelings that he could never say allowed were whispered onto her skin in breathy moans or grunts. The way he would breathe out praises to the Gods when she was on her knees before him. Lorcan shook out the thoughts and continued past this collection, trying to block out the fact that Elide had basically put their sex life on display even if he was the only one who knew.

The Love was a much brighter place, golds and yellows blended with pinks and lilac colors. There were symbols of holiness and domesticity in portraits. But as Lorcan moved through the collection he saw blackness creeping in. At first, it was small, used only for details or outlining, but as he walked, it started to grow in shadows and on the edges, starting to look like mistakes or spilled ink. Lorcan could feel his heart beginning to race and then he was moving past a heavy, thick black curtain into a pitch-black room. He could vaguely make out the other people in the room with him who were standing - and listening.

Overhead, playing on unseen speakers, was a couple fighting. Not just any couple - him and Elide.

“I’ve only had like one drink.” He heard himself slur. Elide huffed out a laugh. “One? Try again, there are four bottles lying next to you.”

“They were all basically empty, I don’t even know why you’re upset.”

“You were supposed to meet me at the restaurant!” Elide said. Her voice sounded tight, she wasn’t yelling at him - that was something that Lorcan was remembering, she never really yelled at him.

“I didn’t want to go! They all would have judged me anyway, I had a long day, and if I wanted a drink then I was going to have one in the comfort of my own home.”

“Who would have judged you? No one would have judged you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Then the audio changed. Eldie was crying on the phone. “I just don’t know what to do, I keep trying to talk to him but it’s like he doesn’t even see me anymore. I come home and he doesn’t even respond when I say hello.” She sniffed. “Every time I try to talk to him we always get into a fight, I’m so...I’m so tired of fighting with him. I’m just so….so tired. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“I just don’t get it,” Aelin’s voice filtered through, “...says he’s the most loyal person that he knows.” The audio cut off Rowan’s name, but Lorcan knew. “Listen, why don’t you come and stay with us a couple of days?”

It got quiet in the room and Lorcan heard some people leaving. After a while, the audio started up again. The argument was different this time, but it ended with Lorcan dismissing Elide and her accusations and her walking away or crying. Some of the audio was done journal entry style, where she explained her thoughts and fears, of how every time they got into a fight she felt like she wasn’t what Lorcan wanted or how she felt he didn’t love her anymore. Some of the audio was them making up, him apologizing, and her saying that it was okay. That she understood. That she loved him, of course, she loved him. Him promising that it was going to be better - that he was going to be better. And then another fight would happen.

She never used his name though. He knew it was on purpose, that despite having him sign a disclosure, he knew that he wanted everyone to feel the experience with her, and by adding names it took the audience out of that experience, it was why even Rowan’s name was censored out. He stood in that room for a while, listening to the fights that had been recorded over and over, hearing them sober and knowing just how deeply he fucked up. He knew now why Elide hadn’t accepted his apology at the coffee shop, understood that he had already apologized and that it hadn’t changed anything.

He finally walked out of The Pain section, although a part of him had just wanted to stay in there and torment himself.

At first, Lorcan thought that he had finished the exhibit, before remembering that there was one final part, The Future. There were blank canvases on the wall, and Lorcan could feel Elide’s emotion with each one he passed. The uncertainty, the fear of the unknown, the lack of assurance and confidence. Everything that he had ever felt throughout their relationship, he was beginning to understand that she felt too.

Stupid, idiot, asshole.

He was so blinded by his own insecurities that he didn’t even think about Elide’s. She had always been there for him, but he had never been there for her. Not in the way that it mattered. There was one final piece on the wall, he could hear the chatter of polite conversation around the corner, where he knew he would find food and drinks for the people who came tonight. It was a wall covered in pictures and painted over. Some like Aelin’s and Manon’s were untouched by paint. Others like Fenrys and Rowan had almost little to none and some were completely painted over in black, in the center was a plain canvas like the ones leading up to this, but the one that Lorcan couldn’t take his eyes off of was the one of his face.

It wasn’t completely painted over, but it had more paint on it than others. The picture was blurry and convoluted, the paint on outlining his face. As if Elide had wanted to keep the picture but wanted to symbolize that she was unsure of whether or not to let him go completely.

And that gave him hope. He couldn’t stop staring at the picture. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there but he saw Rowan appear in his peripheral.

“What are you thinking?” His friend asked.

Lorcan released a long breath. “That I never deserved her, and that I’m an ass for putting her through everything.” Lorcan started to fidget with the ribbon hair tie on his wrist. “I messed up so bad Rowan. I will never be able to make this up to her. It would be better if I just left her alone.” Rowan placed a hand on Lorcan’s shoulder.

“The main goal tonight wasn���t to have her get back with you. In fact, the main goal tonight wasn’t for you to even talk to her, not really. It was to step up and offer the silent support that she needed from you. You two could never talk again, but you coming to her show tonight is going to mean a lot to her regardless of how much you fucked up.”

“What if I only made her hate me more?” Lorcan asked.

“Then she’s entitled to her feelings. You cannot tell her what to feel, but just make sure that the next time she talks, you listen.” Lorcan nodded, still looking at the final artwork.

“I’m gonna get a soda, do you want one?” Lorcan shook his head, and continued to stare. A couple of moments later he felt a presence coming up to him.

“Actually, I do want that drink.” Lorcan said.

“Aelin said you weren’t drinking anymore.” The voice responded. Lorcan stiffened and turned to look at Elide who was staring at him with hesitancy in her eyes.

Tags:

@nalgenewhore  @safewithintheheart  @bibliophileaddict 

@acer6437 @tswaney17  @starseternalnighttriumphant  @bat-wing-rhys

Let me know if you want to be tagged <3

[mysticsparklewings]

Fire Flower

Note: I originally made this painting and typed most of the description towards the end of March. I meant to upload this sooner, but things happened it obviously got pushed way back. Oh gee, would you look at that. It has somehow been 8-9 months since I last made a full acrylic painting... But! I have a video for this one to make up for it! Link: youtu.be/8IgVvgTiZjM I promise I've been trying (and failing) to come up with ideas to do more with this medium. Acrylic paint just isn't my thing. I swear I said this somewhere before, but I have no idea where; It's just hard for me to commit to an acrylic painting when I know I can get the look I want usually much faster and much more easily with other supplies. Acrylic painting just takes so much more time, set up, and patience. This very painting I know I probably could've had done in half the time using primarily watercolor instead, for example. So why is this an acrylic painting instead of something quicker and easier? Because my dear Sparklers, I made this painting and filmed it as a bit of a blending demo for a friend. They tried their hand at an acrylic painting with a sky going from red to yellow...except they lost most of the yellow in the process, and even they weren't really sure how it happened. So since I'm in sort of an art teaching/mentoring position to them, I decided I'd pull out my paints and take a shot at a similar look. Now, to be fair, my end result is very different from their's intentionally. They painted a boat on the water during sunset, I wanted something different and more me, so after some browsing around on Pinterest, I settled on this flower silhouette. I made my own job harder because the reference image had a blue and orange background with lots of black, almost like a vignette, so once I got past the stage of putting the base background colors down, I had a lot more work cut out for myself in trying to replicate that. Speaking of which, you can see most of my process in the video, but a recap just in case: I started by picking out my paint colors, and to be fair I could've gotten away with less or slightly different colors, but I got extravagant and picked a total of nine colors from my Liquitex Basics set (also known as currently the only decent acrylic paints I have):

• Mars Black • Ivory Black • Titanium White • Cadmium Red Deep Hue • Cadmium Red Light Hue • Portrait Pink • Naples Yellow Hue • Cadmium Yellow Medium Hue • Primary Yellow Why the two blacks? Mars Black is a "denser" black so to speak, it's more opaque (less transparent/see-through). The Ivory Black is less opaque, and it's a bit warmer in color than the Mars black. I used the Mars black in areas where I wanted a total and complete black and the Ivory black where I wanted some of the colors from the background to leak through a bit. It's subtle, more of a "feeling" to the eye than something you can clearly see. Also, I used the Portrait Pink, which like the name implies is a very pink flesh tone, and the Naples Yellow Hue (think a shade similar to Yellow Ochre...or fancy Mustard if "yellow ochre" doesn't help you visualize) primarily for blending and not so much for the colors themselves. And the Cadmium Red Light Hue is much more of a reddish-orange in person than it is red, which is why I picked it. It's also pretty transparent (yellows and oranges often are in acrylic paints, especially more student grade ones like the Liquitex Basics) so it also got lost in the mix fairly easily and I had to build it up a lot. In the video, you can definitely see as I start that I do indeed do a lot of back and forth with the paints, blending and layering to my heart's content to try and get the right color balance while also getting a smooth transition. And this goes on for quite a while; the background was definitely the part that took the longest. Initially, I did sketch in a couple of lines as markers for roughly where I needed certain parts of the gradient to begin and end, and with the paints, I went in and got down the base of red and yellows so I could then start working on marrying the two together. And I have to admit, even I let my yellows get a bit lost/pushed down more so than I would've liked. It's a difficult balance to strike; red is already a strong color that easily overpowers yellow. It's even easier when the yellow and your transition colors are more transparent while the red is more opaque. And even more so when your painting has a vignette feel to it. But once I finally had something I was comfortable with and blocked in most of the black (which was a pain in the butt to blend out, by the way, as I'm sure is obvious by how much I go back and forth with it in the video, misusing a fluffy watercolor brush as a mop brush to blend), I then took my outline for the silhouette that I'd already prepared on another piece of paper and used a Faber Castell Gelato (first a gray, then later I'd use a black) on the back to be able to transfer it on the canvas by tracing it with a mechanical pencil with the point pushed in. Personally, I really do think the Gelatos are the best method I've tried for making faux-transfer paper. They're soft so they transfer the color without much fuss without making a powder smudge-y mess (like charcoal, chalk, or pastels might), and they're also water-soluble so they play nicely with the wetness of the acrylic paints, especially if you've thinned them with a bit of water. Then I got the lovely challenge of trying to paint and blend out a nice bright setting sun on top of the blackish mess I'd made.  (It actually wasn't that bad; the Titanium White is pretty opaque so once it mixed with the yellow and I got a couple of layers on it really didn't have any problem covering the darkness that it had to.) After that, I transferred again some of my lines I'd covered up and then got to work on the black silhouette parts. I did have to alter the look slightly because I wasn't quite as careful with lining up the placement of my "transfer paper" that second time and also because the brush had different ideas about how much black should be in some places than I did, but it wasn't too much of a hassle. And then, of course, the real challenge of blending the black up to meet the silhouettes without completely covering up my sun or messing up my other blending. Although, this also wasn't as tricky as I had thought it would be. Ironically, I think by the time I got this far I was finally starting to get a handle on the acrylics after having been away from them for so long.   Believe it or not, this tiny 4"x6"  painting took well over two hours to complete. I had at least two hours of footage that I trimmed down and sped up like four times, and that doesn't include the dry time in between two background layers, the background and the sun, and then the sun and the silhouette. I'd say it was probably closer to 3 and 1/2 hours total, although technically longer because I kept getting interrupted by things and I had to figure out how to set up the camera and everything before I actually started painting. Once I was done with the painting, I also had to actually edit the thing together, which took many more hours than I bothered to document or care to admit. (P.S. Whoever decided all free video editors that don't come pre-installed on a computer either must have stupidly low export limits and/or super obnoxious watermarks, I hate you.) Yeah, there's a reason it's been almost a year since I last posted an actual video of me making art... It just takes so long to edit everything together and I also have to make an extra effort to get stuff set up before and after for filming...Like, maybe it would be different if I had the space and resources to have an area where I could just leave everything and have a camera set up that doesn't move, but right now when my space is limited and my phone is my camera it's just so much easier to...well, to not. At any rate, here's one. One acrylic painting, and one video. A two-for-one special! Sort of! And I think both turned out pretty okay in the end, at least for someone that 1. Doesn't acrylic paint and 2. Doesn't make videos regularly. I call that a win, wouldn't you? Although, I have a few canvases stockpiled. I really should work on trying to squeeze more acrylic paintings into my art regimen somewhere to use those up, if nothing else... ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[justlikejosephine-blog]

Tagged by @anassarhenisch -- thank you, this was fun =D

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you. (Unless you are a rule breaker, breaking that rule.)

1) What sorts of art are on your walls?

OHHH BOY.   I wish I would have taken pics this morning!   I’ll stick with the living room which has a color scheme of burnt orange, golden yellow, light teal, and dark teal (and grey).  I love teals and that’s what I usually decorate with but I wanted to bring in some warmer colors. So I have these old printing tray type things that have a bunch of square/rectangular slots and I’ve put colored pieces of scrapbook papers in some of the slots.  I also made these hexagonal frames a few inches deep out of Popsicle sticks and painted them to match my color scheme and I’ve filled them with imitation moss and hand-cut paper succulents.  I have a couple of canvases I’ve made - one is painted with birch trees, one has a book page background with sheer orange leaves on top, an the other is a teal canvas with a book page flower.  I also have a poster that has the text from Walden in different colors in order to make a pond scene (this one).  And I also have a little frame with an elephant outline filled with paper strips (because I love elephants <3..)  So yeah - that’s the art on my walls! 

2) Pie or cake?

Today’s my birthday so I think I get both.

3) Do you have any favourite food from your family’s heritage(s)?

My family is German so I used to love braunschweiger and liverwurst (till I found out what liverwurst was lol).  I haven’t had either for a very long time though!

4) How many types of tea do you own right now?

6: Earl Grey Creme, White Chocolate Peppermint, Caramel Almond Amaretti, Hazelnut, Orange, Blaike (a chai chocolate tea created after a RWBY character).  I’m not counting bagged tea which I kind of have... idk a random assortment that aren’t in the right boxes right now.  And my husband has two teas (so, sort of mine too?): pomegranate and also a coconut tea.

5) What’s one trope that will always lure you in?

Unrequited love.  Not the whiney, piney sort, but more the type that’s like “I [love you, had good memories with you, etc] but we can’t be together because [we’ve both changed or grown into other people, my sister loves you more *cough*Hamilton*cough*, one of has died, one of us is pursuing out dreams, etc].  Idk, I like the it’s-sad-but-we-are-both-better-this-way thing lol.

6) You have a day free from obligations, but have to spend it on your own. What do you do?

I wake up, spend two hours trying to photograph some handmade cards because I’m pretty sure I’m totally going to start my own Etsy business because I have tons of time to do that, cry because I don’t have a car to get to Hobby Lobby and buy all the craft things I need, then I take a 2 hour pokewalk, come back home in time for Sonic happy hour, go home and shower and lament the fact that I didn’t stretch, eat first dinner (since I skipped lunch) of rice and fish, play a videogame for a few hours (Enderal at the moment), watch a movie (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) and eat an entire pot of macaroni (fail), around midnight convince myself that, no, I don’t have the time to start an online business at the moment, watch New Girl until I fall asleep.

Oh wait - you meant in general - not last Saturday in particular?  Idk I’d probably bake bread, make crafts, write... you know, chill stuff.

7) What’s your favourite thing from the year you were born? (Media, fashion, historical events, etc.)

Beginning of Friends and also The Lion King was released!

8) Are there any books you’ve read that no one else seems to have?

Lots!  Right now I’m thinking of Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck and also In the Shadow of the Banyan by Vaddey Ratner.

9) Tell me a joke?

Q: What state makes the best sandwiches?

A: Deli-ware!

Be proud of me, I made that up when I was like 10 XD

10) What’s the coolest place you’ve ever seen?

I got to see the Pantheon when I was 13!  I would probably appreciate that waaay more now, but I still thought it was incredibly cool.

11) Is there another decade you’d like to have experienced as an adult?

Every time I watch a movie from the 50s I practically cry over their dresses.  Lol the only decade I’ve lived through that could go back to as an adult would be the 90s or 2000s and... eh.

My questions:

(1) Is there someone in your life who is a particularly amazing cook and, if so, what is their best dish?

(2) What phone app do you currently find the most fun/useful?

(3) Favorite cartoon?

(4) If you could be in charge of the film adaptation of any book, what book would you choose?

(5) Do you have a favorite work of art/artist and, if so, what is it and why?

(6) A day exploring the woods or the beach?

(7) Have you ever pulled an April Fools Day prank and, if so, what was your best one?

(8) You are building your perfect sandwich: what’s on it?

(9) You have to live the rest of your life in one book/videogame/film genre - what do you pick?

(10) Is there a hobby that you don’t have that you’d think you’d really enjoy if you had the time/resources/ability?

(11) What was your favorite memory from 2016?

I tag the following people -- no pressure to participate! -- @jennysbookishuniverse @birdiethebibliophile @bookscoffeerepeat @samiholloway @howlsmovinglibrary @vibbooks @books-are-portals @cereus-catalina @thebookwormadventurer

[crassussativum]

ooc

((So... barring any huge developments, I hope this can be the last thing I share about Covid-19.

My job offered every part timer 40hours paid sick leave, and every full timer 80hours paid sick leave effective immediately. That’s essentially two weeks paid leave if you break the hours down correctly. Dad and I both took the time off. Currently I have both Abbie and Annabell with me at home, but I believe Annabell’s going back to Dad’s house tonight. The plan is for the kids to only go between the two houses during this time.

I wrote a sort of daily schedule for the kids: meal and snack times, learning times, breaks, outside time, creative play time and also free time. I did my best to mimic their usual school schedule but it’s only a loose guideline. So if one child says they’re bored, I can say look at the schedule, what’s something we could be doing at this time. It’s as much for me as it is for them. And their school has shared a billion learning resources with parents. Abbie’s teacher -she’s in special ed, Idk if I’ve ever mentioned that- has been in daily contact with things that are Abbie specific so she doesn’t fall too far behind. Honestly, it’s great because I wouldn’t know what to do other wise.

We’ve got a board game to play together, we’ve got drawing paper and craft paper, pens and pencils, some markers, some crayons. We’ve got paint and canvases too, as well as two little lego kits. And, of course a fuckton of video games since I’m a avid gamer and in recent years I’ve started to share that hobby with the girls. Also, there’s TV.

I guess I’m trying to say this time doesn’t need to be all doom and gloom on the home front. We can step back and treat self-quarantine as a sort of vacation. Yeah we can’t go anywhere but the driveway really, but you don’t need to to have fun. And, I think as far as mental health goes, the step back is a needed one. I, personally, can’t be losing my shit while trying to keep my kids in good spirits, and I’ve totally felt like I was losing my shit. But this “vacation” will be good.

As always, stay safe, stay healthy, listen to the CDC and wash your fucking hands.

_Gadget. ))

[surfacegalleryblog]

Reflection - Interview #5 - Louise Lahive

In the lead up to Reflection: Contemporary Portrait Exhibition at Surface Gallery, Nathan T. Dean has been interviewing the artists about their practice and the wider artistic environment today. All our artists have been asked the same questions on portraiture, selfie culture, art, and more, to get an insight into how an international array of artists - all coming together under one set form of portraiture - can explore, tackle, and discuss the form in such varied ways.

And we continue, with Louise Lahive.

For people who are just discovering your pieces, can you tell us a bit about yourself, your artistic practice, and your work to date? I’m an artist who lives and works in North Hertfordshire, I graduated from Kingston in 1999 with a BA in fine art and my practise has been mainly painting ever since then. I consider myself a painter, although I do work in other mediums and other materials, for example sculpture, digital art or illustration, but most of these works I consider as secondary to my main large canvases that I like to work towards over a long period of time.

Which artists inspire your work, and do you feel they too are portrait artists? Do you even regard yourself as a portrait artist?

It’s hard to answer the question of who inspires me because it’s so many and varied; I am inspired by my contemporaries that I meet. I think it’s an exciting time to be working as a painter. The artists that I come back to time and again are people such as Rembrandt, Eva Hesse, Camille Pissarro, Anselm Kiefer, Hilma af Klint.

No, I don’t consider myself as a portrait artist, however I use myself in my work as an authentic starting point or because I can only communicate the experience of being human through myself. I only know what it is to be me.

In our current turbulent world, how do you feel portraiture fits into the current artistic and cultural climate?

Well, I think that it’s a good thing to be introspective and for us to really look at ourselves; there is never a time when we do not need to look inwards to go forward. At the moment, we can see and understand ourselves physically in ways that we have never been able to before, this really interests me. We are evolution understanding itself better and better every day, but how do we interpret this into our everyday reality? How do we interpret this into our spiritual and emotional experience (if at all)?

As a follow up, Facebook, selfie culture, the public and the private? As an artist, what are your views on these elements, and does this change your artistic practice?

It’s difficult to get people out and engaged with art on a local level, and public forums online do help to promote work, however I look at it really as a way to try and get people to show up and help to create an interest.

The fact that self-image, or one single image, can become so important now is something that I am not comfortable with; I don’t think a cult of narcissism is the way forward. As for public and private, I have always thought that it is important for me to be honest or ‘revealed', if you like, as an artist in order for me to progress. I guess this makes me a portrait artist in a sense.

How does it feel being a part of an exhibition with such a range of international artists?

Brilliant.

Hardest question, and one I've asked everyone I've interviewed. What do you think the future of art is? What comes next? And if you had infinite resources and time, what would you add to that future art?

I am worried about the future of the arts at the moment in regards to the up and coming generations. It has never been easy to be an artist, but now it is becoming harder to study if you are not rich; this is deeply disturbing and detrimental to the arts.

As far as the future of fine art goes, I think it’s becoming less centred in London because of the property boom and most gallerists not able to operate with high rents.

If I had infinite resources my paintings would be larger and I would have a huge studio with a rack and I would not need to worry about buying paint or finding part time jobs to support my work. However I do try and let the work lead me and I don’t ever think I can’t make something because of resources, I usually find a way eventually.

If I had infinite time I would not know what to do.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

AND A LOT OF WORK

That VC round was a series B round; the premoney valuation was $75 million. The problem in high school and no time at all to practice the new bits. Which feels a bit dishonest recommending that route.1 But evil as patent trolls are, I don't think there's much you can learn, though perhaps none of them had done many things in their lives, there was no rational basis for their decision. And yet most VCs are a different type of thing from a song or an article. It felt like releasing software without testing it.2 They know controlling the browser is one of the taboos a visitor from the future would agree with us most of the US. The easiest way to get at Yahoo. It was just like. But I've been kicking ideas around long enough. I think it's mainly not having to have a hacker-centric cultures.

One is that in the back of their mind how much is outside of our control. Companies that sell stuff have spent huge sums training us to think stuff is still valuable. But that doesn't sound right. But in addition there's the challenge of making do with less. So some or all of the friends quit their jobs or leave school.3 And strangely enough, the threshold for acceptable will start to operate as you write. Really? In addition to being the right sort of person you are, but we can't think of an example you'd be entitled to the Nobel Prize at Bell Labs when he started his own company by someone mature and experienced, with a feeling of dread in the back to win. Investors don't need weeks to make up their minds.

To see an interesting variety of probabilities we have to play it safe. Once, when I give a draft of this essay explains that. And I'd be delighted, and yet make it seem as if the active ingredient of Silicon Valley. Yes and no. Let the nerds keep their lunch money, and if you're thinking about that future. But it was easy for industrial techniques to take root. This was roughly true. Like painting, most software is intended for a human audience. What do you wish there was? And if the idea of fixing payments was right there in plain sight, they never worked on the same trajectory now.4 The meaning of the word has shifted. It certainly describes what happened in every deal in the Valley as the hot deal, I want to invest in startups.

Few startups succeed without taking investment.5 C, or Java was used. Imagine you were going to create a lot of their time—and they want just as much as you'd like? It's all-encompassing, like life, but I didn't realize at the time. A Way to Detect Bias October 2015 This will come as a surprise. Working to implement one idea gives you more ideas about what you like. After the Ladder August 2005 Thirty years ago, are now, just barely, on the other side of this phenomenon, ask anyone who uses them. For both jobs and grad school, but the trouble is, you have to take these for granted now. And unless you're a good hacker? A will emerge out of those conversations, and you can solve it.6

And the second could probably be condensed into two words: relentlessly resourceful. As huge as their companies took off? The early twentieth century must have had a founder leave. Boston, a friend of mine visiting India sprained her ankle falling down the steps in a railway station. So far, anyway.7 Suppose to be on a trajectory that leads to other questions.8 And most importantly, what are you interested in? I'm supposed to finish college and then go work for a long time. We've now invested in enough companies that I've learned a lot of the new system is that it's not that high a cost. Modernism meant starting over, making things cheaper often turns out to be widely applicable. I would consider this problem solved.9

This is less the rule now, partly because it's hard to repeat a brilliant performance, but it's never going to go out of business.10 Larry and Sergey do want to change the balance. Oddly enough, the better what their motives must have been a bargain to buy us at an early stage startup. Till then they had to work with a huge weight of expectation on his shoulders. If the movie industry has already tried to pass laws prescribing three year prison terms just for putting movies on public networks.11 To have a sense of noblesse oblige. You enter a whole different way of life that was literally uniform. Now I think that if you get $50k from a well known VC firm or angel investor, you have to seek out ideas that would be dominated by fearsome startups with five million dollars of VC money to get started.

Notes

One of Europe's advantages was that professionalism had replaced money as a first approximation, it's usually best to pick a date, because the median total compensation, including salary, bonus, stock grants, and we don't have to do it is very hard and doesn't get paid much. Whereas many of the 2003 season was 4.

Travel has the same attachment to their returns. And journalists as part of the things we focus on growth instead of editors, and suddenly they need to do good work and thereby subconsciously seeing wealth as something you can probably write a book or movie or desktop application in this algorithm are calculated using a dictionary from scratch today would say that one of the world's population lives outside the US is becoming less fragmented, and that's much harder to fix once it's big, messy canvases that philistines see and say that's not art because it reads as a technology startup takes some amount of brains. But not all are. Beware too of the world's population lives outside the US treat the poor worse than Japanese car companies, like wages and productivity, but he doesn't remember which.

This trend is one of them, and stir. While the US News list tells us is what you do a very good job.

To help clarify the matter, get rid of everyone else and put our worker on a weekend and sit alone and think. This is not too early really means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the past, and most pharmaceutical startups the second wave extends applications across the web was going to have to worry about that danger. 339-351.

Your teachers are always telling you. What you're looking for something they wanted to start or join startups. As a result a lot online. And those examples do reflect after-tax returns.

It's one of the world. You end up with only a few years. B get your employer to renounce, in Galbraith's words, it's probably still a leading cause of accidents.

As a friend with small children, or the power that individual customers have over you could probably starve the trolls of the potential users, at which startups develop new techology is the kind that prevents you from starving.

Which in turn means the investment market becomes more efficient, it increases your confidence in a world with antibiotics or air travel or an electric power grid than without, real estate development, you usually have to put it here. If you want to be room for something that was more because they are so much control, and some just want that first few million.

I have omitted one source: government grants. This is not much use, because the publishers exert so much a great deal of wealth to study the quadrivium of arithmetic, geometry, music, phone, IM, email, Web, games, books, newspapers, or it would not produce a viable organism. Not all unpromising-seeming startups are possible. It's a strange feeling of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects.

For example, because it was cooked up, but those don't scale. Brand-name VCs wouldn't recapitalize a company tuned to exploit it. Google grew big on the process of selling things to them? But do you really have a single cause.

For example, being a tax haven, I want to save the old days it was true that the highest price paid for a long time for word of mouth to get elected with a real partner.

[jeremystrele]

Bertie Blackman · Crepuscule

Bertie Blackman · Crepuscule

Creative People

by Elle Murrell

Artist Bertie Blackman  applies the final touches to her latest exhibition. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

The Sydney-based artist pictured in front of her artwork ‘Searching For Crepuscule‘ oil on board, 90 x 90cm. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

‘Crepuscule’ is currently showing at Lindberg Gallery in Melbourne. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Along with oil-on-board artworks, Bertie has created a series of dolls for the show. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

The exhibition is dominated by the colour indigo and inspired by the story of the last-known living Tasmanian tiger, Benjamin. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Bertie and her sketchbook. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Today we learnt a fascinating new word, thanks to artist Bertie Blackman, whose latest solo art exhibition, ‘Crepuscule’ is currently on exhibit at Lindberg Galleries in Melbourne.

Referring to the meeting of the day and night – i.e. twilight, in Bertie’s context ‘Crepuscule’ is also the alternative-dimension hangout of Benjamin, the last ever Tasmania tiger, and his merry band of wide-eyed friends. ‘Clever, cunning and mischievous, he evades captivity by leaping through the veils of dreams and reality… through the Crepuscule… bending time and space,’ the artist narrates.

Extending this concept, all of Bertie’s oil paintings for the exhibition are dominated by the colour indigo, built up in darkening layers. The hue really reverberates the feeling of twilight for the artist, and she also loves the way the word sounds: ‘a bit like you’re already bending and squinting the light with the letters; it’s an unusual word, so people are very curious about it!’

It’s no surprise that Bertie would make an audible link, given that many people know the ARIA award-wining singer, songwriter and guitarist for her music. Though busy building her multifarious BB empire, the candid creative took some time out to delve deeper into her current paintings, AND dolls!

Many readers would know you first and foremost as Bertie Blackman the musician, but can you tell us a little bit about your background as a visual artist?

I come from a family of artists, writers and creatives alike… so for me, visual art has always been a strong way of communicating. I have always drawn and painted but, because my parents are both painters, I ended up steering away from it as I really wanted to create my own path. A musician is as rebellious as I could get in my family!!

Throughout my musical career I’ve art directed my shoots and videos, created stage designs, and painted costumes. In 2009, I had an auction of drawings at Moss Green Gallery, but it wasn’t until 2012 with my fourth record ‘Pope Innocent X’, that I really started concentrating on my drawing. For that album, I released a book of illustrations with each song; I realised that art, music and writing really just all came from the same place for me. And I didn’t need to be one or the other.

Growing up with both parents as visual painters, I witnessed extraordinary discipline and sacrifice from them when it came to their art. I learnt about the reality of what being a practising artist is really like – the blood sweat and tears that go into your work, and the extraordinary work ethic needed.

My art practice has really developed through just doing it, looking at books and persevering with the mediums. I have had no formal education, but I’ve got big dreams and big ideas! I’m forever shaking with adrenaline because I just find it all so exciting!

Your most recent album, ‘The Dash’, was released in late 2014, and since then you’ve also done some amazing collaborations. How do you balance your music with your art?

I do really struggle with balancing my music and art. I have learnt pretty quickly that I can only really do one thing at a time.

I tend to allocate big blocks of time for each. With my current art show, I put aside a solid block of three months. I’m finishing that body of work up, I’m already connecting the next thing. However, I’m also writing and illustrating my first children’s picture book, which will be published in 2018. I would say I spend about eight hours or so a day in my art studio five days a week and then I work nights on my writing.

In between all of this, I have been ducking into various studio sessions, though I’m looking forward to getting into the recording studio more later this year. I’m also an early morning riser. I wake up at about 5am and usually meditate or go for a run to prepare for the day.

Your solo show ‘Crepuscule’ is currently on exhibit in Melbourne. Can you tell us more about this exhibition?

I’m really excited about this body of work. I started working on it quite a few months ago – really working on my painting and developing my technique. For me, I have no lack of ideas or imagery, it’s just been ‘the technical doing’ that has been the challenge and also needing the time to make all the mistakes and learn what the paint can do.

I’ve only been working with oil paints for about nine months, so when I started, I thought it would be an interesting idea to just work with one colour, so I could concentrate on getting the texture and feeling in it without worrying about mixing paint. I love the indigo hue so much; it feels very otherworldly!

For this show, I’ve also made dolls, and bringing my imagery into a playful three-dimensional form has been exhilarating. They’ve become my little friends – I do take them out to dinner sometimes for a treat as well as long walks on the beach. I’m a big fan of Mirka Mora, she’s a great old friend of my father’s and I love her dolls, so this is a little nod to her wonderfulness!

Was there a particular story that inspired the concept for this body of work?

Benjamin the Tasmanian tiger has been a feature in my work for the last six months. He is inspired by the actual last living Tasmanian tiger who died in captivity in 1936. I love the constant conversation and debate as to whether this creature is actually extinct. Personally, I think he is still alive, and I’m hoping that through conjuring him in his ‘Crepuscule’ it might bring him back.

A lot of my work has been hinged in floating spaces or abstract dream worlds, this is the first series that I have brought the imagery into a landscape. I used to play in the rainforest a lot as a child, so I really think that Benjamin and his friends are totems of my childhood – me reliving those curious moments of abstract memory.

What’s it like being the daughter of a OBE bestowed, acclaimed painter, and creating your own art?

I think because my father is Charles Blackman, I definitely shied away from having a career in the visual arts as I really wanted to make my own way. I don’t want to live in his shadow, I mean, it’s a blessing and a curse. Because a lot of people know who my father is, doors have opened probably a little easier for me than others, but the criticism has been far greater because the expectations are much, much higher.

I have, however, worked really hard in the arts for over a decade and I think I’ve carved out a little space for myself to grow quite naturally. I’m incredibly passionate and dedicated to my art forms and people know this of me.

I most definitely get my singular thinking and focus from my Dad, as well as the wild untamed imagination and thirst for the abstract and curious. But I have also inherited other lovely things from my mother in terms of my art practise as well.

I think if the work’s good then it doesn’t matter how famous your parents are, it should be able to stand alone.

  Who are some other Australian creative people that are you loving at the moment?

Luke Storrier and I have had a great time recently bonding over having a famous artist father and also being artists ourselves, in our own right. His work is brilliant and exciting and I’m looking forward to collaborating with him.

Ian Strange is just one of the most interesting artists I have met. I love his vision, he pushes all boundaries.

McLean Edwards is a wonderful painter, and such a wonderful eccentric man. One of the family!

What are some of the resources you turn to when you’re in a need of creative inspiration?

The library. Books are just necessary and essential in my life.

Outside.  Going outside and sitting in the gutter and looking at peoples shuffling feet and framing birds and dogs and shadows.

My Mother. I call her daily for a chat about the work I’m making and she really helps make sense of my abstract thoughts sometimes.

Pinterest. I use it a lot to gather visual references.

What’s been your proudest creative achievement to date?

That is a very hard question! I think singing with Danny Elfman and a 100-piece orchestra at the Adelaide Festival, and also co-curating ‘Sonic Canvases’ at the Art Gallery of NSW have been a couple of major highlights and pleasures.

Also, just being able to exist as a practising artist my entire career without having to get a ‘proper’ job!

What would be your dream creative project?

I would love to create an underground lair in Antarctica… make dolls, paint, sing, write, and turn all my dreams into imagery… a language that can be understood by the moon and stars!

Amazing! What’s a little closer on the horizon for Bertie Blackman?

I’m excited to be painting my next bodies of work, to be writing and illustrating my first children picture book for release in 2018, recording a new record, and making a series of dolls. I’ve got big dreams. Gotta start laying the blocks for empire BB!

  SYDNEY QUESTIONS

Your favourite Sydney neighbourhood?

Redfern… it’s my neighbourhood! I love it!

The best meal you recently had in Sydney?

Fratelli Paradiso in Potts Point. It’s always amazing and it’s my favourite Italian food in Sydney.

Where would we find you on a typical Saturday morning?

At my local Redfern coffee shop getting a take away coffee and reading in the park – that’s if I’m not painting in my studio!

Sydney’s best kept secret?

The beaches are all amazing. But that’s no secret…

  ‘Crepuscule’ by Bertie Blackman September 7th to 23rd Lindberg Galleries 77 Cambridge Street, Collingwood

[mysticsparklewings]

Elizabeth Tower in Bloom

Finally! It took forever, but it's done! I'm going to assume no one remembers this old Paris Project I did a couple of years ago. It was a sort-of bonus project for my high school art class, as it wasn't a regular class assignment that was graded. It was for a contest-type-thing? I'm not entirely sure. It went to a college and got an Honorable Mention.   Well, when I was due for another project for my current college class, after having some time away from the original to shake off the post-required-creation-dissonance (because you can tell from the description that initially when I got done with it, I was fed up with the whole thing by then), I thought maybe a recreation or sequel could work. I asked my teacher, she liked the idea. And in terms of a sequel, based on location alone, my first thought was Big Ben in London. For what it's worth, I got a two-pack of 18"x24" Canvases, the same size as the original Paris Project, and when I started trying to measure and draw out the Clock Tower (Big Ben is actually the name of the bell inside), I almost immediately said "Nope, too hard!" And switched to the Golden Gate Bridge instead. But then my mom came in, and after talking to her a little more poking around with references, I went back to Big Ben on the second canvas. (Which means I will most likely pick the Golden Gate Bridge up again if there is ever a third one of these). Honestly, the longest and most tedious part (not counting mixing paint and ink colors because good Lord did that take waaaay longer than it should have), was probably sketching out the Clock Tower and trying to get the proportions right. It is a very illustrative/stylistic model, but the original project did more or less the same thing with the Eiffel Tower. I was trying to keep mostly in line with that, as well as realism is just not something that interests me. There is an entire debate to be had here, but I feel like, if you're going to learn art, that realism is easier to learn that stylistic. Though I am admittedly biased in this opinion since I'm basing my conclusion in part on my experiences with realism and at least two art Youtubers that I'm subscribed to that are used to doing realism and have both said on more than one occasion that they've struggled to learn to draw more stylistically. Anyway. After that, I really just had to paint the tower and then get to the fun part of adding all of the stuff sticking off of it.   That process began with the clock itself. I did not have the patience to draw all those teeny little details out by hand, so luckily my computer was able to help me out with that bit. So with two naked clock faces at odd angles, I was then left to ask what I wanted to do about the hands. In the meantime, I glued two thin layers of foam stuff to the faces, outlined the details with glittery gel pens, and got them attached to the canvas. I ended up going to Micheals, hoping for a clock stamp or stencil or stickers or something. Would you believe there were no clock stamps? Or at least none that I could find/that would fit my needs?  And I only found one pack of stickers that were all clock themed; the four little clocks you see in the upper-left and bottom-right corners, and even it was out of place. I thought I was going crazy! Why no clocks?? But then I stumbled upon an actual clock-making section. It wasn't very big and there wasn't a ton of stuff to pick from, but they did have some actual clock hands, so I picked up those. And I was admittedly thisclose to buying a set that had the hands and a motor for making the clock actually tick/tell time, but I vetoed the idea because I was not confident in my ability to punch a hole in the canvas where I needed it, etc. And which clock face would I have picked anyway? And it might not even tell time correctly since the shapes of the clocks are weird...and so on. Also, I didn't even know where to begin with picking a specific time for the clock to display, so I just went with where I initially just kind of haphazardly placed them to see how the little rhinestones I wanted to use (and did use) to cover up the holes at the base of the hands would look. The hands were already oversized, so I thought the "kooky clock" thing would work nicely. All the pieces made a nice happy little-sandwiched family after making the acquaintance of some liquid glass (think hot glue but squeezable and room-temperature). Then I realized I was not the most thought-out designer because I decided I wanted to outline the clock tower bits around the clock face with the gold tinsel pipe cleaner. The addition of the clock face made this a bit trickier, at least as far as placement goes. And then I discover that tinsel pipe cleaner, apparently, basically repels glue . I taught it a lesson after cleaning up the mess and borrowing my mom's hot glue gun, though. I then uncovered just how badly a project like this is begging for a die-cutting machine. If you don't know what that is, it's essentially a printer for fancy paper cut-outs. You put the paper and a stencil in a special tray formation thing, send it through the machine, and it spits out the paper cut out according to the stencil. I made the mistake of watching the Home Shopping Network one night where they were using one of these things, and I have honestly never been more tempted to actually purchase something from them. And once I learned how crazy in-efficient trying to cut a butterfly stencil with segmented wings out with nothing but an Exacto knife and scissors is, I really wished I had...I still kind of do, but the cheapest ones are around $70, not including the materials. I just don't think I'd use it often enough to warrant the price. But I did eventually muddle through with the resources I had to craft the little two-layer butterflies you see flying towards the clock face. I placed them that way with the idea that the clocks here are more or less flowers, and the text on each butterfly's backwings is theoretically readable. (I say theoretically because while it is facing the correct way, it is still a looping, stylistically messy cursive print, with even I have trouble making out.) The top layer is just printed stamps going in all directions. I wanted those to have wing segments poked out, but the process of doing that by hand was just oh-so-tedious I couldn't stand it. I had to do something else to keep my sanity. (And to be fair, I was kind of on a deadline here.) Which reminds me, I love my mother, but this project taught me exactly why I usually don't get her involved with a piece until it's either finished of I've reached a stalemate. She had all these ideas and experiments and things to try. It was good to have someone to bounce ideas off of, but I really did not appreciate when I would tell her I didn't like an idea and she just would not let it go. Especially after one instance where she wanted to use these little stamps to make holes in the butterfly wings and I told her what I was picturing in my mind looked tacky and I didn't want to try it, but she would not rest until she did, and then she agreed that it looked tacky. After I got the butterflies put together, I put together the leaves and the clock stickers. Some of the leaves were actually leftovers from my Why, Curious Butterflies! Piece, but I did make a few new ones. But ultimately it didn't matter because I ended up flipping them all over and using my green Tombow brush markers to color them again.   At that point, the individual pieces were good, but the overall piece (with the objects just temporarily stuck on with tape) just looked kind of naked. Fortunately, I was able to find some cheery blossom stickers I bout but never used for the Paris Project. They filled out the edges pretty nicely and made the clock-flowers seem more at home. But there was still something missing. Mom had let me borrow some leftover fabric from an apron-making fit she had a while back in case I wanted to use it, so I ended up cutting out the bird on the bottom left and the nest in the top right. There was a hummingbird too, but I couldn't cut the felt I attached to all three for a little more dimension and stability on him to suit me, so he was ultimately nixed. Since I had few of each thing printed on the fabric and they were scraps anyway, I cut out some pieces and used some tiny wood shapes to try and emulate these dimensional sticker things I've also seen on the Home Shopping Network. It's not very obvious when you look at the piece straight-on, but I think the problem has more to do with me being afraid of how far out the individual pieces should stick than a flaw in the idea. I had also originally purchased some floral wire from the dollar store, thinking I could outline the Tower and some details with it, but I learned very quickly that once the stuff gets bent or bumped, it's very difficult--dare I say impossible--to get it smooth and straight again, which wasn't going to work for what I wanted to do. So that idea got scrapped. But I was just tinkering around with it, trying to think of how else to fill out the canvas, and came up with the idea to do swirlies, kind of like vines for the clock flowers. Now, in my last WIP picture, you could also see some very thin silver swirlies too, but I ditched those because they didn't really fit with much else and I really just made them because I was in class, out of other things to do, and did not feel like or have enough time left in class to pursue a classroom hot-glue-gun to start attaching things. (If there's one thing I know how to do, it's pittle around and waste time ) Still, there was something missing. So before I started gluing, I went with an idea that had been lurking in the back of my mind all along. I took the last butterfly stencil with wing segments that I had, grabbed one of my Tombow markers, took everything I could off of the canvas (so everything but the cherry blossom branches and the tower and it's clock face bits) and started printing the pattern by hand. I did essentially the same thing with paint in blue and pink on the Paris Project, but those two stencils ended up getting stuck to the canvas to bring out a couple of the butterflies. There, the butterflies were sort of additional flowers. Here, my intentional was a leaves/vines kind of look. The palate was so warm otherwise, I felt like it was begging for an additional, much cooler pop of color, and my eyes really liked the green from the leaves, so I went with that. In hindsight, maybe I could've done some green and some about the shade of baby-blue that the eggs in the bird's nest are, but that didn't cross my mind at the time. I also thought to do some in gold, but the one shade I had that I could've used was just too yellow for my liking. And thus, here we are. (And for the record it was a pain in the neck to try to stencil those things around all the stuff that was stuck to the canvas!) My mom thinks it's busy and there's a lack of cohesion. I can understand where she's coming from, but I like busy. (This arguably relates to our fashion sense as well; I like busy, she likes plain) And I also think she may have gotten too used to seeing it in-process when it was mostly naked. Ultimately, I wouldn't say it's perfect, but my vision has for the most part been fulfilled, and thus I am happy with it. It's a good thing I took a picture of it though because lord only knows when I'll be getting it back  But I will get to see it at least one more time for the college's art festival Thursday night. Hopefully, with the holidays right around the corner, I'll find time to finally start working on personal pieces again. I just haven't had the time these past few weeks.  (If nothing else, expect a supply test from me after Christmas--the Faber Castell Polychromos are here! In the house! I touched the box!  But I can't have them until Christmas. ) Also, I'm working on a website as one last class assignment, so be on the lookout for that! I'm actually having a lot of fun with it! ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram