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phlox238 · 4 years ago

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i wrote a pretty long rymin fic and half of it is min being anxious and getting advice from a lesbian at a gay bar,,, it sucks but here it is anyway

2.5k words this is the most ive ever written

"So," The girl began, gesturing wildly with her hands. "You think you're in love with your best friend, who you've known since you were born, and you're in a band and traveling across Canada and the USA with. What did you say your name is?"

"Oh, fuck." Min-gi sighed, letting his head rest in his hands. "This is weird, isn't it? I barely know you."

"Nah, I just thought that, if we're going to have a slightly drunk chat in the back of a gay bar, then we should know each other's names. I'm Eryn, and you?" Eryn stuck out her hand, the many bracelets she wore on her wrist clanking together.

Min chuckled a little, then took her hand and shook it. Her dark skin was warm, which was surprising, since this part of the bar was near freezing. "Min-gi. But you can call me Min."

"Awesome. So, tell me about it, Min." Eryn tightened her ponytail, leaning forward on her arms.

"Tell you what about it? There's so many things that I could say." He was so caught up in this gay crisis stuff that he hadn't even considered stopping for a moment to really think about it.

Eryn shrugged. "Whatever you want to say. Get stuff off your chest, just let it out, if you want to. There's like, nobody else back here. Doesn't really matter, right? I'm not judgy."

"Okay...well, he has a girlfriend, first of all; has had many of them. So he's not into dudes." Min crossed his arms.

"Hey, he could still be. Just because he dates women doesn't mean he's straight. Could still be into guys. Don't give up hope just yet, okay?" Eryn laced her fingers together, as if she was planning something. The dark lighting of the bar didn't help anything.

“Damn,” Min rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t know you could like both.”

Not without laughing at him first, Eryn started to explain. "Oh, wow, you really are new to this, huh?" She chuckled a little more, shaking her head. “That’s okay. There’s a lot of different ways to love people, you just gotta figure out what works for you. Oh, also; it isn’t just both. There’s the genderqueer people, too, don’t forget about them!” She smiled.

Min didn’t quite know what genderqueer meant, but he figured he could find out later. He was asking too many questions already. "Damn...how do you know all of this? I only realized I was, er, gay, like six months ago." Min marveled at her, the same way a nerd at school would marvel at the 'cool kids.' And honestly, she really looked like one, with her ponytail and undercut, her yellow, patched leather jacket, even the flashy jewelry she wore.

It made Min want to start dressing differently. Dressing cooler, like Ryan, like Eryn. Maybe he could.

Eryn grinned wider. "Oh, you know. It's just things you pick up along the way. I've known that I'm lesbian for a long time, since I was like 11. And I'm 21 now, so that's a long time. Lots of experience." She shuffled a little in her seat, taking another drink of beer. "Anyway. We're getting off track, aren't we? Keep talking, man."

Min laughed, a real laugh. "Okay, okay. A year ago, we, er…" He reached desperately for an explanation for the train, but decided that, just maybe, he could tell her. Really, the worst that she could think of him is that he's a drug user. "Can I tell you something? It's going to sound absolutely insane, probably, but I just. Need to tell someone."

She looked concerned, her dark brown eyes wide, but nodded anyway. "That's real ominous. But sure, go for it."

"Okay. So. Stick with me, here. A year ago, him and I got on a train, right? But then, there was another train door within the train. We just...went into the door. Well, the bastard threw my keys into it and then ran in, so how could I not follow?" Eryn was looking at him intently like she understood. Min could tell he was pretty drunk by now; he'd never be able to open up to someone this much sober. But that's okay. More than okay, really.

"It gets even weirder from then on. Ryan- that's his name, by the way- and I woke up on a giant, infinie train in the middle of nowhere. Gotta be pretty unbelievable, though. You probably think I'm on drugs." Min sighed.

Eryn was silent for a moment, but it was obvious she was getting ready to explode. "Dude, no fucking way!" Yep, there it was. "I got on that train! When I was eleven. I was super conflicted on my sexuality, had a shit ton of internalized homophobia as a result of having homophobic family. I felt like a disgusting person. So I got on the train, and it actually helped me through it." She'd completely lit up when Min mentioned the train. Looked like she was going to grab him by the shoulders and shake him.

For a moment, Min was speechless. Soon, though, he regained his voice. "You're kidding," was all he could muster.

"Nope." Eryn's grin nearly reached her ears. "Did you have someone to help you along, too? There was a white cat named Samantha for me. She was French, for some reason. But I miss her."

"Oh! Yeah, Ryan and I had a floating, talking bell named Kez. Weird, right?. I miss her, too. Wonder how she's doing." Min thought for a second, completely and utterly relieved to have met someone else to share an experience with. Then something clicked. "Hold on...I might have met this cat you speak of. Yellow eyes? Uh, blonde...hair?"

"Blonde hair? Well, she didn't have that. But yeah, yellow eyes, French accent." Eryn nodded. They were silent for a moment.

Min chuckled, suddenly getting the urge to continue on with their story. Telling someone about the train would feel wonderful. "We had a lot of...issues...regarding our friendship, at the time. That's why the train picked us up in the first place." He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "The train did help us. But we had a lot of weirdly intimate moments on it, and that's where my sexuality crisis started. Like, there was a car where we had to perform a song with each other to get out of it, and of course I got stage fright right before it. I left him alone on stage. Again." Min paused, the guilt almost making him feel like he was living through that moment again.

Eryn nudged him. "And? That doesn't sound intimate. What happened next?"

"I hid in the bathroom. So he came in, and at first he was angry, but I was having a full on anxiety attack. We sat in the bathtub, hip to hip, knee to knee. It was weird, but nice. He helped me calm down. And like...in our last year of Highschool, I gave him a shirt with our band name on it. In that bath tub, he had it with him. He kept it. Said he'd never done a show without it." Min laughed, but there wasn't much humor about it. "Man, I wanted to kiss him so bad right then and there. But I didn't."

Eryn had a soft look in her eyes. "I dunno about you, but that sounds pretty damn gay to me. Maybe he's just dating other people to distract himself from his crush on you, who knows! All I'm trying to say is, don't give up on this, Min. You two have something going on, I don't know what, but it could blossom into a relationship." She patted him on the shoulder, then took another drink of her beer.

Min did the same. "What if he's not gay?" His voice was small. "Worse, what if he's homophobic? I don't know...fuck, it's terrifying. I could lose him because I'm gay."

"Well," Eryn paused for a moment, "you could try and subtly bring it into conversation. Maybe, like, bring up a celebrity who's gay. See his reaction." She gestured with her hands a lot, Min noticed.

Min nodded. It seemed simple in theory, but he knew he'd manage to fuck it up somehow. The logical part of his brain knew Ryan wouldn't leave him for being gay, but at the same time, there was this voice in the back of his head. Irrational thoughts, irrational fears; that's all it spoke of.

"Thank you. Really. It's been nice to talk about this, especially with someone who's been on the train. That thing is...a freak of nature. Maybe not even nature, I don't know. I'll try that with him, too." Min said finally, after some silence. Eryn laughed.

"Yeah, it absolutely is." She smiled widely. Eryn glanced around, her eyes finally landing on the only visible clock in this part of the bar. Her eyes widened. "Shit, I should really get going! Sorry. I told my girlfriend I'd be back around now." She, out of nowhere, gave Min a hug. It'd been a while since he'd hugged anyone, he realized, and it felt nice. Although, very unexpected.

Min hugged her back, sort of awkwardly. They separated soon after.

"That's okay. Again...thank you, so much. I should get young too." By now, it was almost 11 pm, and he figured he should leave as well. Ryan should be back at their apartment soon enough.

Min was about to turn and leave, but Eryn stopped him.

"Hey! How about we exchange phone numbers? This was a good chat, eh? I'd like to stay in contact." Eryn searched her pockets for a pen and some paper, but only found a marker. "Can I, like, write it on your arm and you can do the same?"

Min knew Ryan would tease him over it, but oh, well, he made a new friend. "Yeah, that's fine." He laughed, offering her his arm. She quickly scribbled her number on it, and honestly, it was barely legible. But he could read it, somewhat.

He then wrote his number on her arm, they exchanged goodbyes, and were on their way. Min dreaded returning to Ryan, who would definitely start to go on and on about his girlfriend, and just prove to make Min feel worse about his stupid crush.

But maybe, just maybe, Eryn was right. Maybe things would finally go his way for once.

•••

Min's walk home was quiet (as quiet as New York can be at night) and cold, it being the middle of November. Snow was just beginning to fall. Being outside Eryn's words stuck in his head like glue. Talk to him. As if he could do that. The idea of even just mentioning anything close to being gay made anxiety rise in his throat like bile.

He couldn't. Probably.

Before he could think much more on it, he was home. Home. Back to the decent one bedroom apartment they'd scraped up all of the money in their pockets to buy. Back to the scent of cigarette smoke in the air, back to the strange stains on the carpet in the hallway. Most importantly, back to Ryan. No matter how much resentment Min-gi might hold to him for having a girlfriend, Ryan usually made things better.

He walked up the stairs and down the hall to apartment number 202, ironically. Unlocked and opened the door to find it dark inside save for a single lamp. Min walked in, curious, just to find Ryan curled up in the fetal position on the sofa. That really made him anxious.

"Hey...Ryan? You good, man?" Min sat on the empty portion of the sofa, near his head.

Ryan stirred, rolling over onto his back. His head was resting a bit on Min's thigh, and it felt kind of nice.

"I dunno…" He mumbled. "She broke up with me."

"What?" Min looked down at Ryan, surprised. "Lisa? You're kidding."

"Nope, not kidding." Ryan laced his fingers together over his stomach. "The thing is...I'm like, kind of relieved that she did it? How fucked up is that?"

Min tilted his head in confusion. He really wanted to run his hand through Ryan's hair, but that was a really inappropriate thought for the moment.

"She, uh...said some things. When she broke up with me." He sighed. "Called me a fag." Ryan laughed, like he found it funny. Min didn't.

"Dude, what? Why?" Min's voice was a little shaky, for no other reason than that they were talking about gay people.

Ryan sighed. "Take a good look at us, Min." He brought his forearm up to cover his eyes. "We're two dudes, living in a one bedroom apartment together. We do everything together. Of course she's gonna think there's something going on."

Min felt like he was going to fucking disintegrate. "U-Uh...and that's a bad thing?"

"I mean...no. It just kind of clicked that...maybe she's right. Maybe I am gay." Ryan sat up, his back facing towards Min. He didn't look back. " I always assumed that I'd be straight, but this...it makes sense. None of my relationships have ever worked out. With women."

Min reached out and gently touched his shoulder. "Ryan...it's okay."

Ryan looked back, now, and his eyes were watery. Min frowned.

“How could it be okay?” His voice cracked as he spoke. “It’s just another reason for people to hate me. For my parents to hate me. Hell, maybe even you.” By the time that he finished talking, his voice was almost inaudible.

"No!" Min almost shouted, jolting forward. "No. Ryan, I could never hate you." Fuck, how was he supposed to tell Ryan he's gay now? Part of him wanted to shout it out impulsively, but the other part, it just wanted to keep hiding. Because what if something goes wrong? What if Ryan's in love with someone else? All what ifs. He really needed to stop.

Min inhaled deeply. Here goes. "This is gonna sound really coincidental, but...I'm gay too."

Quickly, Ryan turned around to face Min. His eyes were wide behind his glasses.

"What? No fucking way. You're kidding." Ryan was leaning forward, using his fists to prop him up.

Min shook his head. "No...I'm not. I was gonna tell you soon anyway, but now seemed like a good time." He scratched his head awkwardly.

Then, Ryan launched at him, hugging him. Arms wrapped around his neck, knees touching Min's thighs, the whole package. Min was sure he'd die with how flushed his face was; but thankfully, he didn't.

After what felt like a while, Ryan finally spoke.

"I love you." He mumbled into Min's shoulder.

Min paused. "In a gay way, or…?"

Ryan laughed. "Yeah, you idiot." He shook his head in amusement.

"Good. That's...great." He hugged Ryan tighter, finally letting himself run his fingers through his hair. It was soft, just like he expected. "I love you too."

#rymin #infinity train #infinity train book 4 #ryan akagi #min gi park #infinity train season 4

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lasercruz · 4 years ago

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@quarterdollar fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call? No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1 .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔 i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding? yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery? dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile 😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting? its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

#ask #mine

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jflashandclash · 4 years ago

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Tales From Mount Othrys

Ajax: Birth of the Triple A Chimera IV

A harpoon nailed Pax’s assailant in the chest.

Someone skidded past Pax, right into the Roman’s knees, as if the harpoon wouldn’t be enough.

“Ajax!” Axel snarled, tossing the Roman, “Chi’naj!”

Pax took a moment to register the Mayan word for “door.”[1] He scrambled past the scuffle. Fortunately, the hinges were still intact, though he doubted they would last long. Other footfalls rapidly approached. This time, he managed to slam it shut. He barred it and went to push a crate—

A body smashed into his selected crate.

Pax almost elbowed the person in the head. Then, he smelled the overwhelming swirl of sandalwood and saw antlers sticking out from the figure.

“Incantara:glacies fulmen iniectum,:” Alabaster hissed, his voice tight with pain. Bolts of ice gleamed at his fingertips. Alabaster flicked his wrist and three blue-white streaks exploded outward. One shattered against some blurry, massive blob, maybe a yard away. Another lodged into something a few feet below the first. The last one blasted off into the fog.

The glow of the lodged ice sickle came closer until the massive blob solidified into the expansive red rectangle of a Roman shield.

Pax grabbed Alabaster’s arm. He dragged the Witch Boy off the crate—a spear slammed into their previous location. As if Pax didn’t already feel trapped, someone banged on the barred door behind them as the shield and spear wielder approached from the front.

Maybe now wasn’t the time, but Pax really wanted to gloat, “Oh, and I thought it was just me that screwed up.” Somehow, knowing the door that Alabaster should have protected had also been breached—that didn’t make him feel any better.

The Roman struggled to withdraw his spear from the crate. “Leader of Hecate located!” Something fizzed and made the silhouette of the Roman shield glow.

Pax released Alabaster to fumble for a weapon. Pax never knew if Alabaster collapsed to the floor because he needed Pax’s support, or if he’d strategically wanted a better line of sight on his target. Either way, at the next, “Incantara: glacies fulmen iniectum,” the ice bolts blasted under the Roman shield.

The soldier screamed. The metal shield thunked to the floor.

That glowing object lobbed over the shield.

Before Pax could bat it away, the thing stuck to Alabaster’s leg. It continuously sputtered with red sparks. Alabaster grunted.

“Lion located!” someone shouted in the fog.

Another fizz. Another spitting glow, maybe ten feet away. Pax’s heart thudded in his chest. Flares. They were using flares to mark their locations.

But the Romans didn’t know where he was yet.

“Are you sure I haven’t found you, little Roman?” came Axel’s stage voice with sadistic glee. Pax heard stories about Axel’s stage persona. He really didn’t want to see it. From the thinning of the fog, he could discern three things: Alabaster was so low on magic that he couldn’t keep the fog thick, Axel’s stage persona was terrifying, and people should not drive in fog. Far too dangerous.

Alabaster tor at the flare on his leg and snarled in fury, “It’s covered in something sticky. I can’t get it off—don’t touch it!”

Pax withdrew his hand. A deep tremble ran through him at the words, “Spy assist located!”

Another fizz.

When this flare lobbed over, Pax fumbled for anything. His fingers wrapped around something cylindrical—the PVC pipe. He must have dropped it when he was knocked prone.

Pax swung the PVC pipe like a baseball bat, hitting the flare. It didn’t bounce off, but stuck. Pax grinned.

Using the last of the fog for cover, he skidded around the shield. There was the Roman, struggling to redirect that spear and balance on one foot (there was a tiny icicle problem in one boot.) Pax nailed the Roman with his PVC pipe in the back. The flare, as he hoped, stuck.

Pax liked to think that the Roman’s jaw dropped.

“Professional Asshole located!” Pax said, mimicking the Roman’s bravado.

“Ajax, drop into a ball!” Axel snarled.

Instinctively, Pax listened. Something bumped into his back before toppling. Two bodies—likely a soldier Axel had thrown into another one—tumbled over him, smashing into the shield user as the Professional Asshole shouted, “Wait—compromised flare!”

“Incantara: excandescunt!”

Flames erupted beside Pax, so close the heat wicked sweat off his skin. This was getting too close. The Romans were closing in.

As though on cue for a heart attack, the door exploded behind him. Fragments chucked into his shins. Pax’s door was breached again.

“Romans!” Centurion Ari’s voice boomed from inside the building, probably from the front entrance. “Una acies. Contendite vestra sponte!”

Pax’s mind scrambled through Latin to remember what Mercedes said that meant: single-line. Your own effort? Wasn’t that the massacre order?! What happened to taking the cute spy assistant alive?!

Instinct should have taken over. He should have ran or fought.

Instead, Pax froze.

With no magic or dry ice to replenish the fog, it dissipated out the three open entrances, leaving the murky shapes of the advancing Romans. Their dark blurs moved inward, one organized line approaching from the front entrance, two disorganized, smaller bunches along either side entrance. As they drifted, they absorbed their injured, dragging them behind the protective line. The Roman war machine. Pax had heard of it, but hadn’t seen it in use.

He, Axel, and Alabaster still had crates to hide behind for cover. They had some supplies left. They could fall back. But, the Romans knew where they were. Alabaster had just smashed the tip off his flare, exploding smoke around his weird horns, but Axel’s fizzed ominously on his right shoulder. Pax might be able to make it to the back barricade, but he would need Axel’s help to move the crates out of the way. Alabaster seemed injured and they weren’t going to leave him. There must have been way more than fifteen Romans. Judging from the lack of Alabaster’s magical reserves (he wouldn’t resort to fire in close quarters otherwise), he must have taken out half a dozen. Pax knew he got three. Axel had wiped the floor with those that got past them. Why were there so many left?

A sob choked Pax’s throat, thinking about the three of them trapped against the back wall, easy practice for the Romans to spear as subjects in an anatomy lesson.

That sob released when he heard a beautiful song fill the room, echoing off the walls and clutching at Pax’s soul. “Drowning in my sea of loathing. Broken, your servant, I kneel.”

Armor shifted. Someone collapsed.

A laugh, more manic than Pax had ever heard it, erupted from the front. “Oh, stupid Romans. Can’t you see? You forgot about little ol’ me. I can see inside you, the sickness is rising. Don’t try to deny what you feel—”

“Jak-Jak!” Pax cried.

It must not have only been Jack.

Screams erupted from Pax’s breached door, the southern door.

“Wait—what?!”

“Stop!”

“Why—”

Pax tore his eyes from the front to see bodies falling in a cluster. Two Romans had turned on their comrades, literally stabbing them in the back. As the betrayed collapsed, a girl became visible behind them, one with stilettos in her dark hair and a mutilated face. Flynn’s mouth was set in an annoyed line and her arms were folded. “Thanks,” her melodious voice hummed with charm speak. “Now, hold still.”

“Anything for—”

The comment cut short. Flynn wrenched the backup knives from the soldiers’ belts and jammed them into their temples.

Pax flinched and looked away before he could see any blood spurts or brain matter. This was a riveting, exciting rescue, but he’d rather focus on the being rescued portion than the murder portion. At least she didn’t make the last two kill each other. That was courteous, right?

Pax could hear the grin in Flynn’s words as she whispered, “Now, panic, you fuckers. I’m going to kill all of you if you don’t kill each other first.”

The break in the Roman’s Southern line was all Centurion Ari needed to make the call. “Fall back. Northern wall. Redirect!”

Chaos ensued.

Pax couldn’t keep track of everything. He crouched to grab Alabaster. Flynn flew over, the Roman knives glinting in her hand. “No need for weapons. Come here—” her voice sounded as sweet as her gaze looked frenzied.

Jack’s song from the front crescendoed. “Down with the sickness!”[2] Another Roman dropped to their knees, vomiting. One discarded his weapons to walk, open-handed, towards Flynn. His comrades couldn’t grab him in time. Some threw spears at Jack and Flynn. Flynn laughed, using her charmed soldier as a shield, the spears lodging into his back. Jack—Pax was relief to see—must have acquired one of the actual shields. There was a massive rectangle of metal in the front door with a tuft of red hair poking overtop.

The screams kept going after the majority of the Romans had left. Pax tried not to remember any of it. Maybe it was because Pax knew he would be safe or maybe it was because he wanted to tune out the severe amount of trauma, but his mind wandered.

He was the information broker, a spy master’s assistant. He was supposed to gather intel and leave notes like, Our camp’s name is cooler than yours. He wasn’t supposed to hang people with power cords or be on a battlefield, even a small one like this, hearing his surrogate father’s beautiful voice make people upchuck blood, watching his surrogate mother slaughter the charmed soldiers that Romans couldn’t stop from walking towards her, feeling the air pressure pop from his crush’s and his brother’s magic as they picked off those retreating.

He wanted to remember how the people from Camp Half-Blood had caused Jas to get vaporized and had melted the skin of Lucille’s back when they blew up Monster Donuts. He tried to think about the names of the people who died in skirmishes against the Romans.

Not for the first time, Pax wondered if those born into violence and baptized in blood could ever surround themselves with another kind of love, with laughter that was not contingent on the suffering of others.

He thought of the way Axel made Alabaster cover his eyes to break that first soldier’s neck, at the beginning of all of this. Pax burst into hysterical giggles.

Alabaster swatted Pax’s hands away, bringing him back to this reality.

When Pax tuned in, he got the blurry view of Centurion Ari, covered in feverish sweat, wrestling one charmed Roman into an arm bar and carrying two others across her shoulders, both likely succumbed to fever. She scowled at Axel as she exited the building. Unlike proper hero protocol, there was no “Until next time.” Wise. Most likely, she would have tried, choked on blood or vomit, and ended up with, “Anthills flex dimes.”

With her and the last few soldiers retreating through the Northern door, the building seemed to heave a sigh of relief. Or, maybe that was a dozen Roman eagles flying off into the distance. Highly possible.

Jack’s song cut off abruptly with, “My boys!” He skidded out from behind his shield. Pax couldn’t decide if it was more or less disturbing that Jack’s bubbly grin remained as he tripped over corpses. “Oh, my boys! You’re alive!”

Axel’s shoulder slumped. “Don—” Before he could finish, Jack slung an arm around Axel’s back to drag him to Pax’s level. Jack tried, unsuccessfully considering Axel was now bigger than him, to drag the brothers into his lap for a joint hug. Pax happily complied, wanting nothing more than to curl up in someone’s lap with a mug of hot chocolate, half-filled with marshmallows, and hear stories about magical ponies. Axel grunted in pain.

Alabaster sighed. The annoyance in his tone was shaky. “Jack, his arm is dislocated.”

Sure enough, Axel’s arm was rebellious in its placement. There was more. Jack was horrified to see where Axel had been stabbed twice and covered the wounds with duct tape.

Jack started the typical procedure: snipping off clothing that clogged the wounds, clearing out debris. They would get to Axel’s dislocated arm after Jack assured “there will be no bleeding out on my watch!” Jack gently moved Pax, so Pax could still lean on one of his bowed knees while he twisted to tend to his older brother. Pax stared at the bruises forming along Axel’s chest, especially around his right arm socket. Like usual, Pax hadn’t received any injuries while his brother seemed to receive double. Pax really hoped Axel hadn’t made an arrangement with Satan about that. Satanic deals for short-sighted noble reasons? Totally Axel’s style.

“Torrington!” Jack cried. “I am so disappointed. Does this look like acceptable babysitting to you? What if one of them had been seriously injured?!” Axel choked in pain as Jack set his shoulder back into place. “How am I ever supposed to trust you with my sons again! Alabaster, they’re fragi—”

Alabaster was still half-leaned against a crate, where Pax had left him. Each breath rattled painfully. “Flash… I have a broken… ribcage… and am… out of magic… What do you… want from me… right now?”

“Definitely better childcare!” Jack said. “It’s bad enough that the Androphagoi Darecare program bombed—”

“They’re… cannibals…”

“But now I can’t trust my friends!”

“We’re… not—”

“I want you to know that I won’t heal you until you promise that they’ll never get hurt on your watch again!”

Now was not the time for Pax to point out how often Alabaster used them—well, mostly him. Axel had too much self-preservation and too little respect for the awesome risks involved in scientific and magical discovery—as test subjects for various potions, some of which had definitely poisoned Pax. Plus, all this madness considered, Alabaster had been against the Pax brother’s plan to distract the Romans and taunt them into an assault.

Alabaster closed his eyes. “That’s… literally impossible… for me… to assure.”

Flynn trudged over the bodies, dragging one in particular behind her. Once beside them, she dropped it with a clatter of metal. “We need Alabaster for the war effort. You have to heal him.” The comment was absent. Her gaze scanned the wreckage until her black irises landed on Jack. His healing hum paused as she gently touched his shoulder. “Jack…”

Pax twisted to see her better. Her brow furrowed with uncertainty. “You were able to distinguish between people you wanted to heal and people you wanted to kill.”

This was one of the main reasons Luke never wanted Jack on the battlefield. In theory, Jack could bring plague to the whole Roman army. But, he could also bring plague to the Camp Othrys army, and this was one situation were “sharing is caring” wasn’t the answer.

Jack beamed. He puffed up his chest. “I did! I only killed the right people! My maternal instinct kicked in.”

Axel opened and closed his fist on the arm that had been dislocated. “I think you mean paternal.”

Alabaster smiled weakly. “He knows… what he said…”

“Speaking of which. I want to know how they knew to hurt my boys.” Jack shifted Pax onto Axel’s lap. As Pax had many a time, he thanked the gods that Jack seemed to think Pax was five years younger than he really was. If he was older, they might expect him not to be curled in fetal position. All Pax wanted was to keep close to someone he knew could kick some serious ass. This building felt too exposed. Sure, the Romans had retreated, but what if their reinforcements showed?

Flynn dragged the Roman in front of Jack. Pax pointedly examined the Roman’s knees, not wanting to recognize a face. What if it was the girl he couldn’t hang? Vomit smeared the soldier’s blue jeans and greaves like someone’s craft night involved one-to-many milk challenges. The person’s breath was so slow and rattled, Pax would have mistaken them for dead on a walk-by.

“Oh, no! No you don’t—you’re not dying yet. I’ll make sure you live. You—you little—little—you bad person! You—you—” Jack struggled to find a word he found harsh enough. “You jerk!”

“Let’s get the… boys home.” Flynn never liked to refer to the Pax brothers as her sons, more like her impossible-to-get-rid-of parasites. Her tone was too sweet. “Then we can focus on interrogation.”

“I want to be home.” Pax meant that he wanted to be back in Belize, in their one-room shack, play-wrestling with his little brother and older sister. Axel ruffled his hair—something Uncle Frasco used to do. This new home was nice. Right? Their real dad wasn’t here. But, Pax didn’t want to consider why Jack would need to be present for an interrogation. Flynn or Lucille could command people to tell them the truth. Why would you need a healer?

Fingers hovered in Pax’s face. He glanced up. Flynn had set the body down to offer him a hand up. “Let’s get you there.” She almost smiled. The look was painful and Pax wondered if he and his surrogate mother needed to practice facial drills to increase those smile muscles. “I saw what you did to the windows. That was good work.”

Compliments were like albino tigers from her: so rare that you want to jump in excitement about seeing the fluffy cutie, then remember you should probably run away because it can still eat you. The melodiousness of her words warmed his bones and relaxed his tensed muscles. Pax felt his eyelids flicker. That had been good work, an echo cooed, forming the shape of her lips in the blackness behind his lids. Papa would be proud.

He’d be proud of you hanging someone.

Pax seized, clutching Axel’s knee. Charm speak. Why was she using charm speak? She’d used it on him before, to get him to move faster or stop talking. But, why was she using it now? Nausea battled back the lulling effects.

When he opened his eyes, her gaze was gentler than normal.

Pax wanted to laugh, to give Flynn a charming smile, and say, “Thanks, I work out and think of ways to be devious and evil in my spare time.” Instead, he threw up all over his brother’s lap.

Axel sighed. It wasn’t like this was the first time one of his little siblings had thrown up all over him. As he gathered up Pax, as Jack jabbered about doing something celebratory for Alabaster, Axel, and Pax’s “victory,” as Alabaster bitched about his ruined lab, and as Flynn packed up the near-dead Roman, Pax shuddered. He told himself it was because Jack must have accidentally made him sick.

***

Thanks for reading! I hope you… enjoyed? Things are about to get pretty dark at Camp Othrys in the character department and scene department and… okay, they’re going to have a bit of a power outage on the happy-go-lucky aspects for this crew. However, when we come back, you get one of the purely fluff pieces in the series. Alabaster’s The Delicate Dance of Chance.

Thank you to “Psychadelic limbo,” “Thank God It’s Friday” by Ice Nine Kills, and “Dangerous” by Son Lux and a slew of music from Bring me the Horizon and Famous Last words for inspiring this scene.

Footnotes:

[1] Technically, this specifically means “door of house.” My Mopan Maya dictionary has a word for that, “door man,” and “door brace.”

[2] “Down with the Sickness” by Disturbed. You know, before COVID-19, it was hard to find songs about disease and viruses. Jack was born (and died twice) in the wrong decade.

#Tales from Mount Othrys #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Heroes of Olympus #TFMO #PJO #HOO #Alabaster #Axel #Pax #Jack #Ari #Flynn #I like to think that every time Pax gets traumatized some cheery 60s music comes on and the camera pans out so he can just give the audience #a huge thumbs up and continue to be traumatized #*Thumbs up*

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sadncssfossilized · 5 years ago

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sexuality troubles.

i’m so fucking confused. being non-binary/trans makes everything so fucking hard. i don’t know where i fit... anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. i have no idea if all of my attraction to men is real or if i’m forcing it on myself bc im afab. i don’t know if i’m bi. ive always wanted to be attractive to men ever since i was small i think as a coping mechanism because of trauma. but i’m also extremely scared of older men, even if i do find celebrities attractive. but a lot of male celebrities i straight up DONT find attractive at all, they’re like cardboard to me. i don’t know if that’s because i think a lot of hollywood white men hearththrobs look extremely bland/the same bc white society or if there’s something genuinely off with my attraction to men meter. ive heard people say that not being able to process whether a man is attractive or not is a lesbian thing. but i don’t feel like a lesbian. i don’t feel female. i love women, i have always known that, but i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t want to be a woman. i want to look masculine. i want to be masculine. i don’t want to be a girl anymore. i don’t want to be a man, completely, i just want to be.... not a woman. not a man. a nothing.

is it a preference or am i only attracted to women?? i loved being bi. i love the flag i love the options, and i don’t really process people’s gender’s except on a social level. ive never been close with ANY boys across my life, or even more than acquaintances because of my shy and reserved nature and i’ve never connected with any on a personal level both because of fear, being flustered, and feeling like they’re cooler and more superior to be and genuinely a different species so to say, so i don’t know if that has to do with my fear of being sexually involved with them. i’m always afraid men want the worst from me, and i always get the feeling that they are judging me based on my attractiveness to them and discard me mentally as soon as i am not and i hate that so much. i think because i’ve never known a boy truly and deeply, i keep prejudices against them and don’t think that they are as compassionate or HUMAN as non-men. but at the same time, i’ve always felt called to get self worth from their attraction to me. literally since pre-elementary. even if i think a guy is ugly i still base my worth off of if he’s attracted to me?? it’s automatic, and fucked up. i’m scared to go further than flirt with a boy. i’m scared to mess up conversationally , i’m scared of entering a relationship with one especially because i’d be the “woman” in it, and i don’t want to be fucked like a man fucks a woman. i want a queer man so i can feel safe and normal around him. straight men are an enigma to me. they scare me so much with their lack of societal awareness and cruelty. i feel like they don’t GET IT you know? but if i ever was to date one, since i’m pre transition and in the closet i’d have to pretend to be a woman and pretend to be okay with that. the idea of a man taking me like i was a woman makes me want to hurl.... that’s not the relationship dynamic i want at all.

all of my emotions toward men are so fucking conflicting. ive dreamed of kissing men before, fantasized about being soft with them, holding their hand, cupping their face and kissing them gently, but if they’re an irl i never fantasize about what they would be like sexually, land the idea kind of off puts/repulses me in a way. thinking of my irl women crushes kind of makes me feel the same way, but i’m more open to the possibility of that? ive never had a relationship with a man and only probably had like 1 male friend across my entire life, so my fear could be because of trauma + fear of the unknown + bc of my prejudices bc of my lack of experience + dysphoria. meanwhile, i’ve had 1 girlfriend and all of my friends have been female my whole life. ive just NEVER been comfortable around boys/men. which i feel like is less indicative of lesbianism and more of like. trauma haha. i sexualized myself at such a young age to cater to the boys around me and even to the adult men around me, it hurts to think about. i hate how trauma complicates everything. i don’t know why i have that impulse, i don’t know why it started. ive just never felt safe around a boy. i feel like they always want something from me. ive been attracted to them but i’m soo scared o f them. like, i always have something to prove, whether it be my personality or humor or attractiveness, just to stay in their presence.

nsfw incoming.

ive tried to jack off to a lot of gay porn and i think my men attraction meter is broken because so many of the men in gay porn are ugly/unattractive to me. straight up. in their face, and body. and the body ideals in the gay community, where i would fit in post transition, don’t.... resonate with me. like not to be crude but a lot of the body types of the men in here are unattractive to me, but then again it’s white dominated and caters to a very specific vision of a huge bubble butt, way huge thighs, overly ripped chest, bland ass white boy faces paired with ugly haircuts. is this what i’m supposed to be attracted to? the men i’ve been attracted to irl do not look like that. the men in gay porn are all so passionless too. (which is honestly an issue i have that makes jacking off to women in porn sort of difficult too??) i don’t know. i don’t feel like i’m attracted to men the same way gay men are. but then again, how would i know that? i don’t know any actual gay men. i just know from some porn blogs? some pornhub videos? i don’t fucking know. i jack off to images/videos of men very few times compared to how much i get off to women bc of my particularity . it’s more difficult, but it’s easier by when i think about how the man feels, like his pleasure, his sounds, his expressions, rather than the aesthetics of it all. not to say i don’t appreciate the aesthetics of some nice men- chris evans, frank ocean, rob mcelhenney, taika waititi, nice. which sounds like a very non-lesbian thing to say i would think, but i know a ton of lesbians who talk about celebrity men super raunchily and stuff, so i don’t know anymore and i don’t think i know enough about lesbianism to know whether these are lesbian experiences or not. the majority of men content ive jacked off to has been gay fan fiction, and that has actually been easy to get off to bc of the descriptions and the i can visualize characters and passion the way i want. it’s harder to do it with actual videos/images of men, because it’s so different in my mind and imagination m, but that may be bc gay porn can involve a lot of roughness/impersonal-ness? also i feel like i still have a certain degree of internalized homophobia toward both wlw AND mlm despite working through my acceptance of my sexuality for a number of years.

i just want a person. but i don’t know if it’s beyond my control who i’m sexually attracted to. my sexual attraction to men is a lot lower than to women, and it’s a lot easier for me to make them bland in my head and not be able to point out a unique thing about them . i feel like girls are more... distinct/easily alluring to me than most men you know. that may also be affected by how women actually know how to dress and look unique and men don’t really shift from 1 bland societal style, i don’t know. i don’t know. i want to be attracted to men. as a transmasc, i want to be gay. i don’t want to be straight. ive been gay all my life, and i don’t want to leave that label. i want softness and love. but men scare me, and i don’t know if it’s because of a tragic coalescence of bad life experiences (or lack thereof) or because of genuine lesbianism. ive talked so much about being bi, and even been called a confused lesbian before by transphobes, and ever since they said it i cant stop questioning. i feel like at this point i HAVE to be a lesbian or something, bc that’s how this shit goes in movies and stories. i don’t want to be a lesbian. i want to be attracted to men, i wanna be bi and be equally attracted to both, i want experiences with both in my mind, but irl i get so fucking scared and i don’t want anything to do with it. i don’t wanna be a straight transmasc and i also don’t want to become what transphobes have spent their time telling me i am. i want to be what i’ve always thought i’ve been, bisexual and transmasc. i was comfortable with bisexual, until everybody else kept telling me to question and it’s been eating me alive since. fuck. i don’t know anything. is this a preference and bad combination of a huge number of deeper factors or am i straight up NATURALLY not attracted to men? have i been lying to mhself? have all my attractions in the past been fake? this is gonna sound terrible but i don’t want to be a lesbian. it doesn’t feel right. and id be proving the horrible people right, and have to retract everything i’ve ever said about being bi to my following on my other social media. and i’ve said a LOT. and i’d also have to give up my admiration of my irl men crushes and male celebrities and their sexiness. all of this shit is so ridiculous but at least i’m being honest with myself with this post. someone help me haha

#questioning #lesbian #trans masc #nonbinary #bisexual #transmasc #trans man #help #lgbtq #queer #trans #rambles

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vampiresuns · 5 years ago

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Of Death And Lovers

Based on the post ‘Nine things about being brought back from the dead’. An apprentice Anatole and LI Vishal fic.

Vishal belongs to @thelazaretmakesmesad.

🔞

i. You will be cold.

Sometimes the universe works in inexplicable ways. For example, how it created someone like him. This statement applied both to Vishal and Anatole, as it didn’t matter which of the two you asked: both of them had an ambition to decode the secrets of the universe, both of them were equally marvelled at the mere existence of the other.

“Hello, mi cariño,” Vis said softly, before kissing the tip of Anatole’s nose.

They’re sitting on their bed in Vishal’s cottage in the Dark Foresk. Anatole’s on his lap, and Vis hands were running up and down his calves.

“Hola, my love,” Anatole replied with a giggle, moving closer towards Vis.

Vishal’s hands began moving upwards: from his calves to his thighs, to his hips, up his sides, to his back making Anatole’s robe slide askew of his shoulders. He kissed his bare shoulders, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on his skin. Anatole’s skin is cooler than his, it had always been. It’s a nice contrast, and an equally good excuse for Anatole to always be scooting closer to Vis.

For a moment Vishal remembers how, years ago, Asra had asked him for help with Anatole being brought back from the dead. That had been his deal, yes, but Vishal is a Necromancer, and if anyone knew how to do in these situations, it was him.

Vishal couldn’t say no, how could he? When he had missed him so much he felt his chest was hollow? No, not just his chest: the entire world was hollow without Anatole. If the sun exploded it would wipe the earth out, Anatole’s death should’ve been like that.

His skin was freezing then. Cold and with goosebumps, nothing like his skin now: colder than his but still warm, inviting, the most beautiful golden brown he’s ever seen.

Anatole tilts his head just a little, and rubs his thumb over Vishal’s lower lip, smiling before leaning forward to kiss him. Softly at first, until it turned into a firm and hungry thing, and all memories of worse times were pushed out of Vishal’s mind.

ii. You will wake up screaming, you all do.

Anatole didn’t really scream. He rarely raised his voice to yell unless he absolutely needed to do so to call someone out because there is no other option; or if he eas singing at the top of his lungs — which he only happened when he was drunk. He is only loud when they were having sex. It was only for him that he lost control over the volume of his voice.

Vishal loved it.

He loved his silences too. Whether they came from Anatole covering his mouth with his hand because they were making inappropriate yet creative uses of either of their offices (or the shop’s counter. All doors where locked and the closed sign visible, they checked), or from his concentration as he read or worked.

When Anatole came back from the dead, he hadn’t screamed. It was the only time Vis hadn’t loved one of his silences, because every living being which is brought back always makes sound, and humans always screamed for some reason. Not him. He stayed eerily quiet for a long, long time — the only signs of him being conscious were his head and eye movements, small ascents and negatives.

“Aelius,” he had said then, poking his chest, indicating himself. Asra had looked incredibly worried, Vis couldn’t blame him. “Aelius Anatole.”

It was almost as if it were a carcass of a person, instead of a whole sentient, reasoning being.

Not now, though. Now Anatole wasn’t muttering his own name, but Vis’, over and over again, like it was a prayer, his hand firm in Vis’ hair. Anatole now was alive and expressive, and so incredibly good at telling Vis what he wanted of him.

The only remnant of that catatonic, barely-a-person Anatole, was his behaviour when he had the odd nightmare. He looked exactly like he had back then, but this time it faded when he laid eyes on Vis. He also never woke up from those screaming, they were always silent.

iii. Your entire body will throb, the pain will eventually subside; being brought back is never a painless task.

His mouth hanged open, with his chin towards his chest, eyes fluttering shut. Their fingers were intertwined, Anatole’s using Vis’ hands for leverage. His thighs are burning, but he doesn’t care, he feels too good to care. He opened his eyes to catch Vis looking at his face, transfixed.

“Enjoying the view?” He pants.

Vishal moves his hips, and Anatole doesn’t even have a descriptor for the sound that just came out of his mouth.

“Bastard.”

Vishal gives him a mischievous grin: “I can do that again if you want me to.”

His legs will kill him in the morning, he’ll live. He’s enjoying himself, and Vis, too much to care.

(”Are you in any physical pain?” The man with the amber eyes asked.

“My head,” he replied, speaking slowly, as if he struggled to find the right words.

“Not your body?”

No, not his body, just his head. It felt as if it had been crushed under three tons of bricks. His body felt only a little stiff, as if it had yet to become accustomed to having joints and bones and a physical presence, but it didn’t hurt.

“No, only my head.”)

iv. Do not get up immediately, you will be nauseous and your body will need time to readjust to this realm.

Anatole didn’t remember anything from before his death. He’d been told he is about 70% the exact same person he used to be, and he had met some people from his old life — namely, his family — but he had to meet them again. He barely felt a throb when he was told memories from before, nor he minds being shown. He liked pictures, and letters, and some of the stories from he was a child were absolutely hilarious.

He obviously didn’t remember dying, nor what happened after it. He didn’t remember being in the space between realms, following Scout The Dog Guide into the Fool’s realm. Nor he remembered talking to the Fool, or how when the Fool left the realm, he told him he’d always have a home there, that he, Strength and the Hierophant were always glad to look after him, if he wanted to explore some more before returning, but that he had to go now.

“But when you’re ready, all you have to do is find your cliff and fall.”

Anatole hadn’t need anyone else to tell him when it was time, he felt it. He knew, deep inside of him — and just like he would in some of his dreams when he were alive again, he took a deep breath, thanked Scout, took his distance, ran towards the edge of the cliff, jumped and he fell.

He was falling again. He tried to turn himself and Vis over, but instead of finding more bed, he made both of them fall to the floor with a loud thump, were they dissolved into a fit of giggles between their complaining and Anatole’s apologies.

“Is your leg alright?” He asked Vis, kissing his neck.

“It, ah, is,” Vis says, his heartbeat fluttering as Anatole keeps kissing his neck.

They don’t bother getting up.

v. Ask for more blankets, you will feel very cold.

Vishal knew he shouldn’t have pressured Anatole into adjusting, just as well as he knew he shouldn’t have compated a person who was just brought back from the dead to someone who he was before he died. Even if they were technically the same person. Necromancy (and all similar rituals) was a delicate process requiring precision, time, and mastery; the body being used belonging to a Major Arcana only complicated it. Nana needed time, space and patience.

Yet Vis feels like a thousand stings are poking into his skin when he didn’t talk, barely moved, just shivered, his teeth chattering. He handed him another blanket, and another, and another, until his temperature rose from potential hypothermia levels.

Both of them were ignorant of how, in the future, they’ll be lying down in a nest of blankets by a fireplace, one of Anatole’s hands pressing down over Vishal’s stomach, holding him in place, and his mouth feeling like fire around him.

vi. You will not remember how you died, do not ask.

Some questions would always remained unanswered, sometimes because they were never asked. Anatole never asked anyone how he died, he figured it out on his own: he died of the plague, he was taken to the Lazaret; he died alone, he died apologising.

He didn’t need people telling him, not really — not that Asra, for example, hadn’t tried and with disastrous consequences at that. He just needn’t because he always found out his own answers, when it was time for him to find them. He had always been intelligent enough to figure things out by himself, asking questions to others only when he needed to. That’s what he did, he set a goal and found a way.

None of these are matters occupying his head that day either way. He had been resuming his past work in the Council of Vesuvia; maybe next year he’ll become a Council person, or a consultant, he isn’t sure. Perhaps he would rekindle his relationship with Valerius enough to consider the Consulship option; when they began to talk again, to mend what had been broken, Valerius had offered it as some sort of olive branch. Anatole had said he would think about it.

He was thinking about work when he arrived home, finding it silent as a tomb when he opened the door. It was odd, Vishal was supposed to be there, he left the Palace earlier than he did.

“Vishal?” He called out.

He appeared out of the backroom of the shop. “There you are, I have our bags right here, you have tomorrow off.”

Anatole raised an eyebrow at him. “I love you with all my heart, but since when do you take those sort of decisions for me?”

“I don’t, I just have a good surprise for you, that’s all. I promise it’s going to be okay. I asked Nadia and Valerius, Asra is taking over the shop. I made sure you had no previous commitments, nor that I did, and since today is Thursday, you’ll only miss Friday and you don’t do council meetings on Friday.”

Anatole’s absolutely perplexed. “Wow, you do know me...”

He squints at Vis before speaking again: “How did you pack?”

Vishal explained in detail how he did, his process was a perfect mirror of Anatole’s — an art he had perfected before he died. He had been told most of his education was completed by foreign tutors, so he travelled a lot from ages 15 to 18, and he had studied in a Prakran university too, so he used to be a rather efficent packer. The habit had not carried on after he died, but what had was the terror infused memory of everyone who knew him and his packing process.

So when he had to pack again, Vis and all of their friends simply taught him how again. The New Packing Process was almost the same as the previous one, with some irrelevant variations.

Anatole gave Vishal a kiss, took his bag, and extended his hand to him. “Where to then?”

vii. Do not ask the practitioner how they performed the ritual, this is considered bad luck and you will not last long.

(”What happened to me?” Anatole asked to the other white haired man, the one who wasn’t Asra, the one who avoided him.

“Never ask that again, ever.”)

Their flirting had always been borderline ritualistic. They had begun circling each other before they even realised, found their way back to each other, and began dancing around the other again. Sometimes Anatole lead, others Vishal did. They were the moon going over the sun in an eclipse, a very difficult yet exciting game of chess, or a tied sword fight.

They went to Vishal’s cottage to spend the night. The next morning Vis made Anatole breakfast in bed — served later than he’d planned to, but morning kisses went too far and he was not going to complain about that. Then they were supposed to take the boat and row through the lake, down the river that fed it, and out to the beach, but Anatole pointed they were going to have to row all the way back.

They hiked instead — also delayed, because they decided to shower together (it was Vis’ fault this time).

They had a picnic at the beach, explored the rocks and some caves, they swam, they read together, they read to each other, the kissed. Around 3 o’clock Anatole began looking at him like he was trying to figure something out. Which he was. Anatole knew Vishal, better than anyone else, so he knew when his boyfriend was planning something; he would never interrupt Anatole’s constant planning and routines unless he had a really good reason to. This wasn’t just an ordinary getway.

Maybe Vis had done this escapade too ritualistic and it was giving him away.

“You’re looking at me,” Vis said.

“Can’t I look at you?”

“You have questions.”

“You’re planning something.”

“Maybe,” he said, with feigned nonchalance.

“Fine. I’ll find out then,” Anatole said, pettily.

Oh, Vishal thought, you will.

(He never asked again, he figured it out. He tried to figure out how he was brought back too, but it was futile. He guessed you’re not supposed to look at a gift horse in the mouth, and the universe was simply reminding him).

viii. Your loved ones will be ecstatic to have you back, consider this a blessing.

Vishal never really knew if Valerius told the rest of Anatole’s family he died. He supposed he could’ve asked, but he hasn’t, and he doesn’t plan to. It’s not his memories the ones which were lost forever. They aren’t his to discover or not discover, if he wished to, if he wanted to. That was reserved for Anatole. He knows that if Anatole wants to know about if his family knew he’d ask. Maybe he already asked, but didn’t bring it up.

People weren’t supposed to ask questions about the necromancy process when they were the ones being brought back: it’s both terrible ettiquette and considered bad luck, yet Anatole worked his way around all those little rules.

When something living, animal or man, was brought back, it’s always like starting over, but more often than not the memories come back, or most of them did even if the experience of dying itself usually did not, he’s only read a couple of cases when it is remembered. People who are brought back tended to remember their relationships, even if they weren’t sure how exacly they’ve developed so far. Most practicioners recommed to treated the process like a brain injury with memory loss: calm environements and to going back to the usual routine.

Anatole was an outlier. He didn’t remember anyone.

Vishal drove himself crazy with the prospect of bringing him back, of being able to tell him he loved him too. All of his excitment and his desperate need to believe in happy endings died at his throat when Anatole didn’t remember him. For the next three years he had tried to set on fire his hope to ever make his way back to him, his hope in happy endings, resigning himself to life.

He had underestimated Anatole’s capacity to make the impossible happen, his capacity to remind him in every possible way why was it that he fell in love with him.

After they made their hike back from the beach, they took the rowbow out, and continued to read in the middle of the lake, until they inevitably ended up in the water again. They skinny dipped this time: none of them were wearing their swimming clothes, and Anatole hated the feeling of wet clothes.

When they were drying off in the boat, Anatole asked: “Just out of curiousity: what’s your happiest memory?”

Vis gave it a bit of a thought before saying: “The day you found my cottage again and you told me you loved me.”

“You were very fussy that day.”

“You were walking through the woods, alone, in a downpour, Anatole. What’s yours?”

“Oh, that’s easy. Knowing myself loved in return... though today might be a contendor to that because I think the only thing we haven’t done yet is play chess... I’ll eventually beat your ass at it again like I supposedly use to. I still think you’re planning something, and I think I may have an idea.”

Vishal kissed him to shut him up.

ix. Thank the practitioner and let them be on their way, if they do not look you in the eye consider this a bad omen.

They played chess in the deck of the cottage. Anatole won. They set aside their second game when the sun began to set, Vishal finding his way into Anatole’s arms, his back against his chest, and his chin on top of his head as they watch the sky.

“I never thanked you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“For today, our new life together, being a wonderful boyfriend, your excellent abs, bringing me back from the dead, you name it.”

“Nana, it wasn’t me who brought you back.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re not supposed to tell,” he says with a sigh. “ Still, even if you didn’t, you helped Asra.”

“Not only because of that, and I didn’t help as much as I could’ve helped.”

Anatole accepts defeat. “Alright I won’t ask more questions about it. One way or another, thank you for today.”

“You’re welcome.”

They stayed in comfortable silence, until Vishal turned his head to kiss Anatole’s jaw and excused himself, telling him to wait there, he’d be right back. He kept watching the sunset alone, looking at the chages in the sky, until Vishal’s absence went from normal, to strange, to worrisome.

Anatole went back in, but he didn’t need to call out for his boyfriend. He found him in the living room, lighting candles. There’s flowers — beautiful, lucious flowers — and an opened bottle of wine, none of which had been there when they got back from the beach.

“Oh, there you are,” Vishal said with a cat-who-got-the-cream like expression, “I was about to ask you to come in. Do you want wine, my heart?” Vis was already pouring him a glass.

“If you just want to get me drunk,” Anatole teased, accepting the glass and taking a drink, “this is an overly elaborate plan to do so”.

“No, I promise I’m not going to get you drunk. I will ask you to sit, my leg is begining to hurt.”

“Oh, of course.”

Sat on the floor in front of Anatole, Vishal finished the rest of his glass in one go. He begun to speak about how they made their way back to each other, the sheer impossibility of it, about looking for a gift for him, something symbolic, but that Anatole knew he was quite the romantic at heart, so he decided for something traditional.

Anatole’s thoughts as Vishal took a small box from the coffee table were: Holy hell, Oh, I knew it, and Bastard beat me to it, in that order. The third one he voiced.

“Let me ask first, then you can call me a bastard,” he said, leaning forward to kiss Anatole, who kissed him back with an intensity he wasn’t expecting, gently pushing him back, until Vis was lying on the floor, Anatole on top of him.

“Nana, please let me ask,” Vis said as he looks up at him as he straddles him. They always end up like this. “Aelius Anatole: will you marry me?”

Anatole kissed him. “Yes, yes I will,” he replies, elated. “Can I ask you back when we get home? You see... I was going to, but you really did beat me to it. I got you a ring as well, it was a little skull—” he didn’t finish the sentence because Vis kissed him back, already taking his shirt off.

Anatole was quite sure both of them were crying a little, which didn’t stop them from undressing each other.

Later, when Anatole was too busy feeling, his forehead pressed against Vis’, his eyes fixed on him as they panted into each other’s mouth whenever they weren’t kissing each other, he will not think about how technically he has looked at all of his potential practitioners in the eye. If it was Asra, he has, if it was the Magician, he has, if it was the Fool, he doesn’t remember but he has; if the Fool is him, he has looked at himself in the eye in the mirror plenty of times.

And if it was his fiancé? He had been looking at him in the eye the longest. He had spent countless ocassions just looking at him, for he could spend an eternity fixed on his wiskey warm eyes. If his bad omen was spending the rest of his life with him, he had no idea how auspicious his good omens were supposed to be.

#the arcana #my writing #vishal/anatole #the arcana fan apprentice #apprentice x apprentice #it took me FOREVER to write this but holy SHIT #please validate me

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shewasanamericangirl · 6 years ago

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ok it’s time for me to FUCKING SCREAM about kamen rider zi-o episode 35 because there was a lot of good shit in it! many many screencaps under the cut.

so our dramatic opening scene right away made me think of kamen rider ryuki--a convict doing time for murder, frustrated with being stuck in a cell, receives a surprise visit from a shady individual offering the power of a kamen rider.

hora and tsukuyomi both have such dope manicures? can 2068 be all that bad if standards of living are still high enough to have pretty nails?

then woz begins the intro IN THIS PINK SWAN BOAT spying on yuko and tetsuya

apropos of practically nothing. he’s in the cute pink swan boat, by himself, watching a cute couple from a distance like a creepy loser.

now, im used to woz being Dead Serious About Everything but idk if ive ever seen a phrase like “first love” uttered with such a sense of gloom.

junichiro will make such a good bride someday. preferably mine. marry me junichiro.

this whole apple pie scene is the CUTEST SHIT EVER. i love that geiz and tsukuyomi are so close that he knows silly stuff like this?? and look at that HAPPY “i just took a bite of amazing apple pie” look on her face

look at this beautiful girl enjoying her pie. blessed image. tsukuyomi is such a cutie. so kissable.

look at this beautiful boy enjoying his pie. he is barely holding back the urge to stand up and IWAE. do it, woz! give junichiro’s baking the recognition it deserves!

the forbidden ship is alive and well 👀

he probably gets too little sleep as it is with all these nerds’ shenanigans day after day. let junichiro sleep!

sougo, trying to sound profound, utterly destroys the mood

woz has been slamming that pie so hard that he starts choking when sougo brings up the subject of love

geiz: unable to process that this actual baby boy child has, in fact, discovered girls at the young age of 19 years

tsukuyomi: supportively tending to her verklempt friend who has inadvertently inhaled his pie

look at this fucking chad. sougo, nobody’s questioning that you have time for romance. all you do is sleep and be a kamen rider.

geiz being surprisingly genre savvy for a defrosted ice queen

sougo: smitten kitten

junichiro, geiz, and tsukuyomi: “that’s...it?”

woz: got over his coughing fit sometime during the flashback and is now SHOVELING that pie

sougo confirmed neko. im sorry fellow shippers, you’ve been writing your zi-o smutfics all wrong.

silence junichiro you are in the presence of a certified pussy slayer

this screenshot is good for many reasons

woz acting all chummy while sougo looks awkward as hell

the pie stuck to both their faces

you can barely see it in this picture but the big blob of pie stuck to woz’s right thumb

more than a few men have fallen too im sure right woz?

oma zi-o confirmed manwhore

yuko knows what’s up; if you’re gonna be queen, you gotta start with a full on spa treatment so you look your hottest.

yuko is another character with unusual powers that don’t come from being a kamen rider

superhuman sense of smell (along with the ability to identify slight nuances in scent)

super strength (she stopped that car with her foot)

exceptional observational/inductive ability

i love when she points

me, easily distracted by colorful shit

i fear for our future if the overlord of space-time is so easily won over by a good chin scritchin’

boy oh boy do i want them to kiss and boy oh boy do they hate each other

kanesaki practiced for this

no sougo. no no no. do not be this dumb. i’m not saying she’s guilty--i don’t think she is--but a crush you had back in elementary school is by no means evidence that yuko would not commit murder. did she or did she not attempt to kill that lawyer right in front of you?

i feel you woz...my crush is thirsty for yuko too...

thank you, geiz, for reality checking sougo

more cooler point this time

sougo idk if you’re thinking with your dick chin or just being a fucking pollyanna but you need to snap out of it right this minute. yuko is dangerous. im pretty sure she doesn’t even remember who you are.

listen to geiz! not only does he know a thing or two about vendettas, but he looks cool pointing at people too!

hers is a good face and does not deserve such violence

sooner or later, yuko is going to wind up somewhere that she isn’t close to a manhole. when that happens, she’s gonna be in trouble!

add retrocognition to the list of sougo’s abilities. i wonder how it’s triggered? but enough of that. EARTH TO SOUGO, GEIZ NEEDS YOUR HELP

something something, ginga looks cool as fuck but i didn’t wind up taking any screencaps. i’m digging his retro-ish design, deep purple, and pretty attack SFX. can’t wait for woz to get that power hohoho

sougo could you please use your words instead of just yanking your friends into your fusion? that’s not cool my guy.

the synced movements between trinity’s suit actor and the three personalities within is awesome. now if only they were in better sync with each other.

you said it girl

error? im glad they let yuko’s actress change into some sensible shoes for the purpose of stomping around on rocks 😂

and now, the preview! why all the groveling? zi-o squad and time jackers alike? weird to see the future king kneeling lower than anyone else, even given how highly he clearly thinks of yuko. it feels almost sacrilegious to see black woz bowing down before someone other than sougo, too. 👀 not surprised that hora and geiz aren’t feeling too reverent.

sougo, if yuko needed an umbrella, she’d just kick up another manhole cover and hold it over her head.

kiva, schmiva--we get ginga woz AND an iwae next week! yaHOO!

and some thoughts:

i’m usually reallllly not fond of when a character we’d never heard of last week suddenly has a main character crushing on them (her, always a her) this week but i like how it’s been handled so far. junichiro, geiz, and tsukuyomi are very aware that sougo still fixating on his first crush from childhood is Not Healthy (and a clear symptom of how friggin lonely sougo has been.) woz’s response to the matter seems kind of mixed--maybe he’s more focused on when he gets to eat his next slice of pie than his overlord’s love life, lol

i wasn’t sure what to think of yuko, but i’m enjoying her arc so far! she’s a determinator villain who’s clearly got an intriguing backstory that led her to see herself as the heroine of her own story.

intriguing, too, that woz seems to have time traveled to investigate said backstory, if his (hilarious) stakeout during the introduction is any indication.

and then ginga came out of nowhere. okay then...he seems like a pretty badass adversary! i wonder how zi-o and friends will be able to counter his power? or has trinity perhaps been weakened by the discord between the three?

as always, i look forward to what happens next! in the meantime, i have five episodes of ex-aid left, so by the time the next zi-o subs show up i will probably have finished watching!

#kamen rider zi o #pie over love!

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coffeecrusadeclub · 6 years ago

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Too late? -a tyrus fic pt 1/2

*this is super loosely inspired by that scene from Love, Simon* *note its like time jumped so there no underage stuff going on* *TW tho theres a lot of drinking*

TJs POV

It took about 2 hours of debate but I decided to go to Cyrus's party. I've also decided that I was finally going to tell him how Ive felt, Ive waited just about 5 years to tell him and I think its time. I picked out my nicest tshirt and matched it with black jeans and made my way over.

I got there and was greeted at the door by a bubbly and excited Cyrus

"Hey TJ glad u could make it. Come on"

He ushered me in and I smiled at him, i contemplated telling him in that moment but decided I needed to work up the nerve since there was way more people here than i expectdd. I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed myself a beer from the cooler.

About 2 hours and 6 beers later i finally decided to tell Cyrus. I looked around and couldn't find him so I decided to ask buffy

"Hey have you seen Cyrus?"

"Uh yeah I think he went upstairs Why?"

"I need to talk to him"

"Finally telling him about your crush?"

"I-i dont know what youre talking about"

"Its okay TJ its cute, go talk to ya mans"

I shoved her playfully laughing. And turned to go upstairs I made my way to Cyrus's room rather quickly i wasn't looking up and opened the door slowly stepping in

"Hey Cyrus I really need to talk to-"

I looked up and see Cyrus sitting in the lap of some guy without a shirt making out, I felt my heart sink

"I-Im so sorry I d-didnt know"

I ran out the room not stopping even though i heard Cyrus call out for me I ran past Buffy who stopped me by grabbing hold of my arm

"What happened?"

"He was up there with some half naked guy"

"He what!? Why would he do that hes like in love with you

"Obviously not." I turned back to see a messy haired Cyrus running toward me

"I got to go" i grumbled to Buffy before quickly making an exit. As unathletic as he says he is, Cyrus can run fast when he wants he caught me outside as I was getting off the porch

"TJ please wait its not what you think"

"It looked pretty clear"

"Its not like that I swear"

"What am I supposed to think, if I didnt walk in you werent going to get in bed with that guy" I felt jealousy run through me my tone a lot more harsh than I meant.

"TJ whats this about why are you so mad?"

"It doesnt matter anymore its too late I know the truth"

"TJ please I swear-"

"Whatever Cyrus I have to go"

"TJ-"

I ignored his call and kept walking home. When I went home I realized nobody was home and just screamed into the darkness of the house I punched the wall

"IM SO STUPID" I yelled into the darkness as I slid down the wall crying. I pulled my phone out and stared at pictures of me and Cyrus. My phone was blowing up. Cyrus wanted to explain himself, Buffy wanted to know if Im okay, and Amber wanted to know where I was. I texted back Amber to let her know I walked home, and told Buffy I was fine but ignored Cyrus. I drank a few more beers that I had in the fridge before I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I was woke up by Amber who sat at the edge of my bed with water and an asprin.

"I dont know how much you drank last night but I thought youd want this" she handed it to me and I groaned in response to sitting up and smiled at her thankfully as i took the aspirin.

"TJ what happened last night"

My heart sunk as I remembered the sequence of events last night. I looked down at my hand which was bruised and cut up from hitting the wall. I never cleaned it so there was still some dried blood on my knuckles.

"Is this what happened to the wall?"

I looked down at the glass of water I held in my lap a tear rolling down my eyes

"TJ come on talk to me what happened?"

"I was too late I missed my chance"

"What do you mean"

"I finally decided to tell Cyrus the truth. Buffy told me he was up in his room so I went to find him.."

"Oh no what was he doing?"

"He was sitting in the lap of some half naked guy who was probably more attractive that me"

"Did you see who it was?"

"No Cyrus's head was blocking the guys face."

"TJ im so sorry. Did Cyrus say anything?"

"He followed me outside and tried to say it wasn't what it looked like. I snapped at him I just- I couldnt even look at him. Hes been texting me all night I think i have a load of missed calls and texts from him"

"Whatd he say?"

"He wants to talk about what happened"

"TJ you should really talk to him tell him the truth"

"Theres no point I was too late if he was ever into me, hes not now"

"You dont know that. Come on tell me you havent hooked up with at least one guy because you were drunk off your high horse"

I looked down at my hands to avoid her gaze.

"Thats what I thought. Text him back"

She walked out of my room and closed the door softly. I looked down at my phone and read Cyrus's texts.

TJ im so sorry you saw that

TJ I swear its not what you think

TJ! Answer my texts what are you doing stop ignoring me!

I stared at my phone and contemplated just erasing his number entirely. But I couldnt bring myself to hit erase. I stared at the picture Id chosen as his icon and smiled. I felt tears rolling down my cheek. And texted him back

It sure looked like what I thought Cyrus. Whats there to talk about

He replied almost immediately, as if he was staring at his phone waiting for me to respond

Tj please I swear its not like that. I didn't even know that guys last name

Oh because that makes it so much better. I think Im better off just not texting you. See you around

TJ stop please text me back

TJ call me

Dammit TJ if you dont respond Im going to just show up at your house

I read his last text and sighed

Theres nothing to talk about

Fine then Whatever I'll see you in about half an hour then

Don't come over Cyrus I dont want to see you.

He didn't respond and I wondered if he was really coming over. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I didnt pay any attention to Amber who was sitting at the counter, who I knew was staring at me. I reached toward the back of the fridge and grabbed a beer. Before i could even pick it up I heard Amber's voice behind me

"You dont need that"

"Mind your own damn buisness"

"TJ idk how much you drank at the party but you drank an entire six pack here."

I sighed did I really drink that much last night? I looked at Amber, who mustve sensed my disbelief,as she motioned towards the counter. 6 empty beer bottles sat there

"Those were all you TJ. Youre worrying me, youve never drink this much. You never day drink either"

I didnt respond and put the beer on the counter. I walked over to the empty bottles and grabbed them shoving them into the recycling box before grabbing my full one and walking away.

"TJ.."

"Im fine Amber" I snapped at her and instantly felt kind of bad, I sighed.

"Its just one beer"

"Yeah right now but how do I know its not going to turn to 3 then 5 and so on."

"I just need to not remember Amber I need to forget" I replied harshly

"Thats not the right way" Amber sounded like she was going to cry and I sighed, opening the beer anyway. Defeated, Amber sighed and went upstairs to her room. I opened the fridge and grabbed a full six pack and took it up to my room. About 25 minutes later I heard Amber open the door. I assumed she was going out. I heard it click shut and heard her talking to someone. I sighed and looked around I already finished off the one beer and then three more from the six pack. The empty bottles sprawled across my bed, I was half way through my 5th beer two more in the six pack. I wiped tears away from my face, I didnt realize I was crying. I heard a knock on my door and sighed

"Im not in the mood Amber"

My door creaked open and I looked up to see Cyrus poking his head in the room. He looked at my surroundings and sighed. I guess Amber told him her worries. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

"You showed up" I said taking a drink

"TJ youre drinking too much you need to slow down"

Cyrus motioned towards the beer bottles on my bed and I scoffed.

"Look I dont know what Amber told you but shes delusional"

"Show me your hand"

"Why"

"Just show me"

I put my hand out, I still havent cleaned it so it looked a lot worse than it felt. Cyrus sighed and walked into the bathroom, he came out with a washcloth and some bandages.

"Youre going to get an infection if you leave it like this"

I watched as he cleaned and bandaged my hand "I dont know why you care so much dont you have Mr. No-Name to catch up with?"

"TJ why are you acting like this? I told you Im not into him. Either way you have no right to be all jealous"

"Im not jealous"

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yeetyeet2121yeet · 6 years ago

Note

All. Of. Them.

Oh god who are you? It's 1:30am! I'll do 100 questions for you, Anon1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?•The Curse of Curves - Cute is What We Aim For•Bang Bang - Green Day•Revolution Radio - Green Day• Family - Mother Mother• Summer Dress - July Talk• If U Seek Amy - Britney Spears2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Probably Dan/Phil3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.'I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me'-page 22 of Will Grayson Will Grayson bc page 21 only had 16 lines4: What do you think about most?How people see me 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Gn - the wise words of Ryley6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?Depends lol7: What’s your strangest talent?well, for being 14 I can talk people out of suicide pretty well8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)GIRLS LOVE GIRLS AND BOYSBoys can wear makeup too9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?yeah, multiple times, both songs and poems10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?like, a week ago11: Do you have any strange phobias?I bloody hate having my window exposed at night 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?yeah13: What’s your religion?I'm not religious 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?probably making flower crowns15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?It depends16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?OH GOD NO I CAN'T17: What was the last lie you told?I told someone I was okay18: Do you believe in karma?sort of19: What does your URL mean?It's my preferred name and the year I was born20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?I think my forgiveness is both21: Who is your celebrity crush?hmmm,,,,, I don't really have one22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?yeah23: How do you vent your anger?I text a friend and rant 24: Do you have a collection of anything?yes25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Video chats26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?Well, the real me, yes. The me I present at home and school, no. 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?My mother's voiceMy friends' voices28: What’s your biggest “what if”?What if everyone is just pretending to like me?29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?I'm not sure about ghosts, but aliens have to exist. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.R- A wallL- my bookshelf31: Smell the air. What do you smell?Me. I smell me. I smell my room. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Home. 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?West because British Columbia 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?OHGOD I CANT35: To you, what is the meaning of life?To be true to yourself36: Define Art.Anything you create37: Do you believe in luck?Yes38: What’s the weather like right now?Dark af, but mosty cool39: What time is it?1:36am40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?nah and nah 41: What was the last book you read?Carrie • Stephen King 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?HELL YEAH43: Do you have any nicknames?Yep! Annie, Bean Stalk, Ann, Jo, Twinkie Jo, Daddy (my guy friends are wierd shush), Master (once again, my guy friends hate me) and Hoe44: What was the last film you saw?Rocky Horror Picture Show 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Well, I had a soft palate cleft as a baby, but it wasn't as bad as the stuff you see on TV. Mine was just in the roof of my mouth46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?Yeppo47: Do you have any obsessions right now?nah48: What’s your sexual orientation?I don't label that. I like who I like when I like them.49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?oh hell yeah50: Do you believe in magic?Yes51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?For a week or 2, then I get over it52: What is your astrological sign?Libra 53: Do you save money or spend it?Save54: What’s the last thing you purchased?Three Days Grace • Three Days Grace (CD)55: Love or lust?Love56: In a relationship?Nope57: How many relationships have you had?One, and he was a douche58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?nah59: Where were you yesterday?In my room. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?nope61: Are you wearing socks right now?its 1:43 am hell no62: What’s your favourite animal?cat63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?Listen to them. Pay attention to them64: Where is your best friend?Calgary or like, some hard to spell state ( @unbuttered-toast help) 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.@unbuttered-toast@nocturnal-spleen@dennys@psych2go@accio-shitpost66: What is your heritage?Uhm, like Ukrainian, Irish, English, round them parts67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?Talking to Roan68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?McBitch69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?..yeah..70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?yes, ofc71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?SAVE THE PUPPO 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a) yea ofcb) I'd be 100% mec) maybe. I don't know73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.Love, bc trust is a part of love 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?The Danny Phantom theme. Shut up. 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?451476: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?TRuST and COMMuNICATION77: How can I win your heart?Be a decent human, ffs. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?Maybe. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Reaching out to people on here, bc ive made so many friends 80: What size shoes do you wear?Like, 5?81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?You got what you wanted. Don't you dare cry now. 82: What is your favourite word?Trust83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Love84: What is a saying you say a lot?SUck My ASs85: What’s the last song you listened to?The Curse of Curves • Cute is What We Aim For 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?Black, purple, silver, gold87: What is your current desktop picture?Literally its just black. Nothing else. Just black. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?Matt/Jaxon89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Who I really am, but only around my school peeps and relatives90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Fucking kill myself before they can91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Mind reading92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?That half hour at camp where we were all watching Up, and Roan and I were cuddling, Ty had my hand, and Lily was lying on my legs. That was a good half hour. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?All the bad things that happen at home94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?No one, they're all WAY older than me 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?America to see my friends 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?Probably, its my fucking relatives97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?Yep98: Ever been on a plane?Nope99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?FOR FUCKS SAKE LOVE EACH OTHER

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flower-guro · 7 years ago

Text

Get to know me~

I was tagged by @simsparadise3

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Last: 1. Drink: Water :/ 2. Phone call: My dad? i think?? 3. Text message: My best friends uwu 4. Song you listened to: Business Man - Mother Mother 5. Time you cried: Its been a while... maybe a couple weeks??

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: I’ve... never dated orz 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Also ... never happened 8. Been cheated on: Pls refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Yeah, some family members and pets i rlly loved 10. Been depressed: 24/7 my dude 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never intentionally drank alcohol

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Peach, light pink, maroon

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Some really important ones~ 16. Fallen out of love: ....Yes. 17. Laughed until you cried: Yeah i have ;u; 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not in a bad way 19. Met someone who changed you: Yeah 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes, and i love them 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Who uses facebook?? (also nvr kissed)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I only friend ppl on facebook that ive met and know 23. Do you have any pets: You bet! I have my kitten Nelly, an Old (TM) cat named Spike, and a big golden retriever pupper named Odin 24. Do you want to change your name: Hmmm... kinda?? I don’t mind my name but I like Ken better 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went to a nice restaurant.. i think that’s it?? 26. What time did you wake up: 10:30 ish 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playing tf2 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The anime convention that’s coming up ohoho 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: *looks to the right* there she is 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Wish I could’ve done better my first year of college 31. Listening right now: The news is on right now? 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I went to high school with a Tom, he was a goof 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The fact that some ppl dont like Osomatsu-san lmaO 34. Most visited website: Youtube....

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: A b u n ch on my shoulders and neck 36. Mark/s: Stretch marks, scars 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a marine biologist 38. Hair color: Brown~ 39. Long or short hair: Short! Shorter than chin length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: mmmmm not right now (for once) 41. What do you like about yourself: My personality? 42. Piercings: Just my ears, tho I want a nape piercing... 43. Blood type: B+... *insert depression joke* 44. Nickname: Ken, Nekka, Kenni 45. Relationship status: Single as heck 46. Zodiac: Gemini 47. Pronouns: They/them 48. Favorite TV Show: Does Osomatsu-san count or 49. Tattoos: Nope :/ 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: None, somehow 52. Hair dyed in different color: It was orange/ginger but i just dyed it back to its natural color 53. Sport: I used to play softball, even got a scholarship for it hahaha,,, 55. Vacation: Pls kick my ass to Washington or anywhere cooler than this tbh 56. Pair of trainers: Wtf is this foreign lingo (but yes i have some gym shoes)

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: An omelette 58. Drinking: Wish i was drinking coffee.... 59. I’m about to: Go to the river with a friend? 61. Waiting for: The sweet release of death 62. Want: $$ for the convention coming up 63. Get married: I’d like to 64. Career: I’d like to design prosthetics

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs and cuddles pls 66. Lips or eyes: I rlly love eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Each has its charm~ 68. Older or younger: I tend to get along better with people younger than me?? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ???? idk my guy, i guess tummies r cute 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive?? 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship def 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: More hesitant i guess??

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: N o pe 75. Drank hard liquor: Nah 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I dont own either lmao 77. Turned someone down: Y eah,,, 78. Sex on the first date: No thanks 79. Broken someone’s heart: *Soft cough* yeah 80. Had your heart broken: yep yep yep 81. Been arrested: No thank u 82. Cried when someone died: Yeah,,,, 83. Fallen for a friend: Ugh dont remind me

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Usually no 85. Miracles: Mmmm no 86. Love at first sight: Maybe, but not for me 87. Santa Claus: I was one of the last ones to think so in my 5th grade class lmao 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure?? No?? idk my guy

OTHER: 90. Current best friend(s) name: (not in any specific order) Trica, Leah, Maisie, Sire 91. Eye color: Brownnn 92. Favorite movie: Oooo I think its still Colorful (anime movie)

Time to tag some friends~ @hibiyamorelikehebiya @shadylamb @tapiocachica @ghostjab9 @pasteddreams and anyone else who wants to!

#about me #long post #RLLY LONG #whelp if u wanted to know about me then here u are

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harryshomebaby · 7 years ago

Text

Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. Tagged by @stateofirrelevancy , I’m bored so I decided to go this

LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My dad to say happy birthday  3. Text message: A link to Tom Holland and his dog to my best friend  4. Song you listen to: Uh… no idea but I have the Evolution of Lady Gaga stuck in my head by Superfruit  5. Time you cried: One week ago at Ed Sheeran rip its a week today

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Never even dated someone ONCE  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never kisses anyone lmao  8. Been cheated on: Hard to get cheated on when you’ve never dated, right?  9. Lost someone special: My grandpa died like 8 years ago 10. Been depressed: Always?  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Only ever gotten tipsy

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Purple (Lavender specifically), yellow, and pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends?: Uh… no 16. Fallen out of love: Also no 17. Laughed until you cried: Probs, who hasn’t  18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean my friends probably talk shit about me all the time so if that counts  20. Found out who your friends are: In the past like 3 years yes  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Does my mom on the cheek count?

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Probably ¾ of them 23. Do you have any pets: I have two little kitties named Chloe and Callie, and we have a beta fish (idk his name) 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Um… I have no fucking idea I think my friend came over and we watched movies.. like all my birthdays. 26. What time do you wake up: When I was in school, 5:30am, now normally like 8-10am. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping 28. Name something you can’t wait for: My Halsey concert :)  29. When was the last time you saw your mom? Like 5 minutes ago she’s currently swimming in a lake  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Uh… that I was dateable?  31. What are you listening to right now: The wonderful sounds of nature, aka kids screaming while they’re swimming  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My ex best friends step dads name was tom so yes but we’ve never had a full conversation 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my family  34. Most visited website: at the moment, Tumblr. Usually YouTube though 35. Mole/s: I mean I have a lot of beauty marks all over my body so I’m not gonna say every single one  36. Mark/s: I have a birth mark like right in the crease of my thigh and vagina 😂 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be Tinkerbell. Like THE Tinkerbell. I still kind of want to go work at Disneyland but like I couldn’t be her  38. Hair color: like a medium tone brown 39. Long or short hair: It’s down to my butt so long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Um yeah, this dude in my school that graduated in 2016 and i thought I was getting over him cause I hadn’t seen him in a year and then last month or something I fucking saw him at Walmart and I realized I’m still head over heels for him and I hate myself  41. What do you like about yourself: Uh.. my hair??? Idfk  42. Piercings: I have my ears pierced and my nose  43. Blood type: No fucking clue  44. Nicknames? Jess  45. Relationship status: Single and looking for a cute Australian boyfriend because there’s a lot of Australian people who live where I’m camping, and one kind of flirted with me like two days ago and winked at me but I didn’t say anything special and I’m probably never gonna see him again rip I could’ve had an Australian boyfriend  46. Zodiac: Sagittarius 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: I have more than one so, Supernatural, Friends, The Flash, Arrow, and Black Mirror 50. Right or left hand: Right  51. Surgery: Is this have I ever had it?? Cause no  52. Hair dyed in different color: Once and I hated it  53. Sport: What’s that  55. Vacation: I’m literally on vacation right now so yes? 56. Pair of trainers: Favourite?? Idk I wear flats and tan boots like Harry wears cause they’re cute

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Once again, favourite?? Idfk I like all good  58. Drinking: Right now, water  62. Want: MY BED. I’ve been camping for 5 days and I want to go home  63. Get married: Obvs 64. Career: Dream career is a singer, realistic is a nurse  65. Hugs or kisses: BOTH  66. Lips or eyes: I would say eyes but Harry’s and Michael’s lips fuck me UP  67. Shorter or taller: Taller  68. Older or younger: Older I guess all the guys I like are like 5+ years older than me  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive I guess? You can be loud and sensitive  72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Is this me? Then hesitant I guess I have maaaaaajor anxiety

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: When I was like 3 a little boy kissed my cheek  75. Drank hard liquor: I drink wine and coolers if that answers your question 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t wear either but I need them 77. Turned someone down: IVE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE  78. Sex on the first date: I mean it depends who it is… like Harry? Fuck yeah, Michael? Fuck yeah, but any normal guy no  79. Broken someone’s heart: Maybe but I dunno 80. Had your heart broken: by friends if that counts. And last week when I was leaving the arena after Ed Sheeran and I didn’t want to leave until I met him but I wasn’t gonna meet him so I left without meeting him 81. Been arrested: No but I stole a piece of gum when I was like 4 and my dad made me apologize to the worker and I cried  82. Cried when someone died: I cry when anyone dies so like  83. Fallen for a friend: Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: LOL  85. Miracles: No, because there’s always a reason for something to happen 86. Love at first sight: YA to harry styles and Michael Clifford and nyle dimarco and Jared padalecki an 87. Santa Claus: When I was younger obviously  88. Kiss on the first date: it depends how it went idk I’ve never gone on a date

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name?: On the internet and my #1, Brittney. Who lives near me and I actually see her, Brittany. Oh spelling how you help immensely  91. Eye color: I literally have no idea. Blue, green, grey… people say different things  92. Favorite movie: My guilty pleasure movie is Lemonade Mouth, my dad and I watch it all the time together and sing along. And my favourite movie that only friends know is Wristcutters: A Love Story. If people ask me what my favourite movie is I just say idk

I tag @rare5sos @raconteurwitch @txhohood @truthorclifford @irwinscuddlebuddy @otpmalum @squishycalum @shitmike @fuckingmichael @givememelove @kittenmichael @clummyhood @nsfwclifford @neverwillbepunkrock @mukenope

#sorry for the shit quality I'm on mobile and don't have a computer cause I'm camping #and I really don't feel like fixing the format on mobile rn

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outerspaceman · 7 years ago

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1-50 b

This is going to be SO LONG BUT I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY (i do really enjoy doing these things anyway so thank you)

1. had sex?

indeed I have, but you already knew that

2. bought condoms?

surprisingly i don’t think ive ever bought any, i think whenever I needed them I either just had them from the other person or i got them from school

3. gotten pregnant?

nope, thankfully. that’d be worrying

4. failed a class?

i have. aka why i ended up in three different damn colleges. i failed a few at my first university. nothing in highschool and less somehow

5. kissed a boy?

yeeeeeep, my first kiss was with a dude. you figure maybe i’d know i was gay from that alone maybe

6. kissed a girl?

i’ve kissed many a girls. not as many boys tho

7. had a job?ive had several and nearly hated every damn one of them

8. left the house without my wallet?

too many times than im comfortable with when im driving

9. bullied someone on the internet?\

DEFINITELY no. i hate that shit so much it’s disgusting

10. sexted?

yes. a few times. i used to rp a lot too tbh, which is how i made a lot of my friends online when i was 15

11. had sex in public?

no. i’ve done very basic shit???? in public i think. but that’s about as far as that went. nothing beyond teasing or being drunk at a club but i digress

12. smoked weed?

ive tried a few times and i never get anything out of it. i cant inhale smoke into my lungs, which honestly i don’t consider to be that much of a bad thing

13. smoked cigarettes?

yes. i smoked vaguely regularly for a while. and by regularly it was like once every week or so. i smoked stale ass cigs for quite a while. i’ve stopped completely tho unless im drinking. or at cons

14. smoked a cigar?

dear god no. even the smell is disgusting.

15. drank alcohol?

i think at this point we all know my relationship with chasing vodka down with a wine cooler. i love drinking, but i dont do it often at all

16. been to a wedding?

yes! my dads, almost my brothers, and my bro’s mother’s. my family is a wreck honestly.

17. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

i feel like anyone on this fucking mess of a website has done this at least once in their life.

18. watched tv for 5 hours straight?

i haven’t straight watched cable tv for 5 hours, but i’ve definitely watched like netflix or hulu and shit for that long

19. been late for school?

ive never not been late to something at least once

20. kissed in the rain?

yes, and it’s not that cracked up to be. it’s more funny than romantic

21. showered with someone else?

yes. only partners tho

22. been outside my home country?

no, sadly. one day i’d love to travel everywhere

23. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?

yes, i’ve driven down to florida more than 20 ish times during my life. that’s a 24 hour drive straight from where i live. i love road trips.

24. had lice?

once when i was a kid. i still remember my dad attempting to wash my hair. overall it was a bad experience.

25. gotten my heart broken?

i just did yesterday when i thought about ivan and boyd potentially getting into a fight about sin. otherwords, yeah. a lot more times than I’d like to think about. but i think i feel heartbroken about most things eventually. i think with my heart more than anything

26. had a credit card?

not yet, but im being forced into the process of getting one by my credit union

27. been to a professional sports game?

a few, yeah. It was mostly for family or friends sake. I’m not the biggest fan of sports.

28. broken a bone?

when I was really young I got a kidney infection and they had to strap a board to my arm. for years I thought I broke my arm. Surprisingly I’ve never broken a bone

29. been unhappy about my weight?

i feel like anyone who lives in america has been unhappy about their weight at least once in their life

30. won a trophy?

a few. one for soccer, a few for dance, the rest for grades i think. i cheated to get a math one, because I couldn’t do those times tables fast enough. I just memorized the number layout

31. cut myself?

when I was younger I used to. It was a rough time. I had a scar for a long time because of one of them. I don’t know what happened to it

32. been on a diet?

i dont know if i would count forcing yourself to not eat as a necessary diet, so no I haven’t been

33. rode in a taxi?

nope. not once. i for some reason didnt even think michigan had taxis until i started going to cons and seeing them

34. stayed up for 24 hours or more?

i do this more often than you’d think. i do this more often than actually get a decent amount of sleep

35. been to a concert?

yes. i love concerts honestly. one of the best experiences i’ve had and thankfully ive been to a lot of them

36. had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeah. quite a few times

37. had braces?

nope. i just kind of have fucked up teeth on the bottom, but it’s never really bothered me

38. wore make up?

yeah, lots of times. i wouldn’t say im good at it, but i’ve worn it a lot

39. lost my virginity before I was 16?

uhhhhhhhhh??? yeah actually. I think I was 15 the first time.

40. kissed someone a different race than myself?

yeah, a few times. ive kissed a lot of people tbh

41. Snuck out of the house?

yeah. i used to all the time. i got good at lying about it too. i was a problem child when i was younger

42. had oral sex?

yeah. i’ve received it more than given considering I honestly really hate doing it, but yeah

43. dyed my hair?

over the last few years I’ve had died hair more than natural tbh

44. met someone famous?

YES ACTUALLY. i met the mystery//skulls guy. he’s a sweetheart. there’s been others but I can’t remember atm

45. been on vacation?

yes, and I wish I could go on one again

46. been on a boat?

yes but wow it’s been so long. i miss being on boats, i love it so much

47. been on an airplane?

yeah, a few times. they’re weird

48. prank called someone?

I have quite a long time ago. But i can hardly actually call people now let alone fuckin prank call someone

49. taken a pregnancy test?

I would say that maybe I have as a joke at some point, but I don’t honestly think I have

50. been suspended from school?

no, but I’ve been threatened to be suspended. honestly, how I never was I’m not really sure

#i feel like im constantly too honest on these things #but i dont really care #questions #sneepsnape

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amoonlitmidnight · 8 years ago

Text

decided to answer bc im bored

1. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

troye.

2. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

mine is going home. (will greyson will greyson)

3. What do you think about most?

if c is okay.

4. What does your latest text message from someone else say?

true.

5. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with.

6. What’s your strangest talent?

i can make good pigeon noises.

7. Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

girls are wonderful yet complicated. boys that are good exist, but you have to sort through many awful ones to find them.

8. Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not that I know of.

9. When is the last time you played the air guitar?

on the bus to Bellingham lacrosse game.

10. Do you have any strange phobias?

I am afraid of growing too old to keep memories.

11. Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

blue berry, but who hasn’t?

12. What’s your religion?

half-assed catholic I guess?

13. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

playing lacrosse.

14. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind.

15. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

the 1975 bc im basic.

16. What was the last lie you told?

don’t worry about it, its fine.

17. Do you believe in karma?

to an extent, yes.

18. What does your URL mean?

thought of it randomly one night.

19. What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness: relentless self-deprecation, to the point of believing that anybody complimenting me is out of pity.

strength: im funny.

20. Who is your celebrity crush?

brendon urie or matty healy.

21. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

not yet.

22. How do you vent your anger?

the vent app.

23. Do you have a collection of anything?

important items/mementoes from the past year.

24. Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting.

25. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

somewhat, but there’s always room for improvement.

26. What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: metal scraping/banging together, or other people blowing their nose.

love: laughter, rain

27. What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if every choice ive made to get me to this point, didn’t happen?

28. Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe that there are spirits of loved ones that look after us and guide us, but im not decisive about ghosts. aliens are 100% real, but maybe not in the way we expect.

29. Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right: bedside table/lamp.

left: book (will greyson will greyson)

30. Smell the air. What do you smell?

stuffy.

31. What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

7th grade camp.

32. Choose East Coast or West Coast?

west coast.

33. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

matty healy or troye sivan.

34. To you, what is the meaning of life?

to do what makes you happy.

35. Define Art.

any form of creation.

36. Do you believe in luck?

yes.

37. What’s the weather like right now?

sunny.

38. What time is it?

2:01 pm.

39. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do not.

40. What was the last book you read?

note to self.

41. Do you like the smell of gasoline?

kinda.

42. Do you have any nicknames?

g, stew, gstew, stewart

43. What was the last movie you saw?

lion.

44. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

concussion.

45. Have you ever caught a butterfly?

nope

46. Do you have any obsessions right now?

troye.

47. What’s your sexual orientation?

see #1

48. Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yes, courtesy of matt.

49. Do you believe in magic?

not really.

50. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes.

51. What is your astrological sign?

pisces.

52. Do you save money or spend it?

spend it.

53. What’s the last thing you purchased?

eyeliner, highliter, and primer at sephora.

54. Love or lust?

love.

55. In a relationship?

sadly, no.

56. How many relationships have you had?

maybe one?

57. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

yes.

58. Where were you yesterday?

last lacrosse game of the season at ballard, then alki

59. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes.

60. Are you wearing socks right now?

no.

61. What’s your favorite animal?

monkey.

62. What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

be funny.

63. Where is your best friend?

nonexistent.

64. What is your heritage?

norwegian, irish, german i think

65. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

watching interstellar again.

66. What do you think is Satan’s last name?

maybe he has one, but he doesn’t need it. like beyonce.

67. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I’d like to think so.

68. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

let that dog die without a second thought.

69. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) maybe one or two people in particular, c for sure. but not everyone, instead I tell them what I have always wanted them to know.

b) I tell people what I have never been courageous enough to say, and spend time with loved ones.

c) I would be more content than afraid

70. You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

you cannot love someone if there is no trust.

71. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

more than life by whitley.

72. What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2935.

73. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

determination and unconditional love.

74. How can I win your heart?

show me you love me, or else I wont believe you, and be able to have conversations late at night about deep shit.

75. Can insanity bring on more creativity?

of course.

76. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

attending hna and trying out for lacrosse.

77. What size shoes do you wear?

9 I think?

78. What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

do not go gentle into that good night.

79. What is your favorite word?

titties.

80. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

anatomical.

81. What is a saying you say a lot?

me when…

82. What’s the last song you listened to?

tokyo narita freestyle.

83. Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

light blue, lavender, or faded pastel yellow.

84. What is your current desktop picture?

was my north cascade summer team, now it’s a photo from the 1975 concert.

85. If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump bc im unoriginal.

86. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

my feelings for someone.

87. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

call the cops, or just put in earbuds and listen to music really loud with my eyes closed to distract myself.

88. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

reading minds or shapeshifting objects.

89. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the penetration practice.

90. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

odea vs lakeside game when I realized co wasn’t my friend anymore.

91. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

matty healy.

92. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Amsterdam.

93. Do you have any relatives in jail?

not that I know of.

94. Have you ever thrown up in the car?

yes, drank some week old orange juice.

95. Ever been on a plane?

yes.

96. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

you do you, ill do me. we may not be doing the same things, but well both me happy.

#mine

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alwaysjaimee · 8 years ago

Note

1-100 ;)

wow alright!!

1) Sexuality?

Straight

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Alison Sudol, Emily Blunt, Taylor Swift, Emma Watson

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

‘forehead. If it hadn’t been for Voldemort, Harry would still….’ - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K. Rowling

4) What do you think about most?

Everything. Anything I can stress or worry about mostly

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

its the crying face emoji…

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with Pjs

7) What’s your strangest talent?

um I don’t even know tbh

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

‘Girls can conquer the world’

‘Boys can drive you insane’

LOL

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I know about

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

prob yesterday in the car to annoy my friend

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I don’t think any of them are necessarily strange… Although I have a fear of Hyenas yet there are none anywhere near me or have I ever really been around any…

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

I don’t think so..

13) What’s your religion?

technically atheist. but I do think there is a god out there

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Reading or hanging out with friends or my dog

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I like both

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

A Fine Frenzy. That counts as a band right?

17) What was the last lie you told?

Im not actually sure

18) Do you believe in karma?

Yeah a little

19) What does your URL mean?

‘Always’ is from Harry Potter and ‘Jaimee’ is my name

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I think my greatest weakness is; animals (

I think my greatest strength is; my judge of character

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Eddie Redmayne and Zac Efron

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23) How do you vent your anger?

many ways. Song writing, dart throwing, crying and sleeping etc. depending on the situation also bottling it up for later

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a collection of snow globes and keyrings from places I’ve been. I also have a few Pop Vinyls. I also collect all the movie tickets and concert tickets that I’ve attended.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Depends on the person

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

sort of. I don’t think Im fully to the point I want to be just yet

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate; Balloons popping, scrapping of forks/spoons on plates, nails on a chalkboard etc

Love; waves crashing against the shore, pianos, acoustic guitars, laughter etc

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

‘What if I had the courage to do that’

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes to a degree

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm; Book

Left arm; Pillow

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

The coconut ‘Victoria Secret mist’ I sprayed earlier

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

um idk

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

of America? or Australia?

America; Seen the West Coast, not the East so ill go with East

Australia: East

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Voice wise Michael Buble

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Love. Family and Friends

36) Define Art.

Everything. The essence of the world. A way to make everything okay, even for a little while

37) Do you believe in luck?

sort of

38) What’s the weather like right now?

coldish

39) What time is it?

1:55am

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes I do drive. NO I haven’t crashed

41) What was the last book you read?

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

sort of

43) Do you have any nicknames?

Scout

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

cracked my head open

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Ive had them land on me but not ‘caught’ them

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Im low key obsessed with Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

straight

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yes

50) Do you believe in magic?

Yes. Makes you believe anything is possible.

‘Without even the possibility of magic, you’ll never find it’

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

If what they did was bad enough, then yes

52) What is your astrological sign?

Aries

53) Do you save money or spend it?

spend. but if I have something to save for I’m generally quite good

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

a birthday present for a friend and face wash (riveting I know)

55) Love or lust?

Love

56) In a relationship?

not right now

57) How many relationships have you had?

none that were very important

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59) Where were you yesterday?

Out for lunch and shopping with one of my friends

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

my slippers, iPad, pillow, lamp and a box

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

Nope

62) What’s your favorite animal?

Dog

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

humor/wit/sarcasm

64) Where is your best friend?

at her house asleep

65) Spit or swallow?

LOL

66) What is your heritage?

Australian, New Zealand, English, Irish, Scottish

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching Youtube videos

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

um wtf

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

some questions just shouldn’t be asked

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I think so

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog. Couldn’t live with that guilt. If your boss still fires you after that, they’re not a good person to work for

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Thats hard. I think maybe? but then thats a lot to put onto someone

b) Spend as much time with everyone as possible. See nature, read, try new foods etc

c) To an extent, hell yes

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

GAH THATS HARD.

love. if someone really loves you they will strive for your trust and vis versa

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

‘Blow Away’ A Fine Frenzy

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, love, communication

77) How can I win your heart?

Being genuine, funny, kind hearted and trustworthy

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

honestly it can

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

moving on

80) What size shoes do you wear?

between a 9-10

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

something like

‘family and friend. kind to everyone’ or something

82) What is your favorite word?

Serendipity

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

break

(darker than I would have thought)

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

‘bless’ and ‘anyway’

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

‘Lifesize’ - A Fine Frenzy

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Purple, blue, light green/pastel green, pink, black

87) What is your current desktop picture?

iMac; Golden Gate Bridge at sunset surrounded by cloud

Laptop; Yosemite with a pink/purple sky

Phone; Me and my friend before she left to move to London

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

wow. um no one. well I mean, no one Im actually gonna write…

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

hmm thats tough

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

scream and cry without a doubt

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Telekinesis

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

probably something with my parents when I was younger. Like a party or game night or something like that.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the stuff that happened in 2012

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Does Zac Efron count?

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

London

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that Im aware of

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I don’t think actually in the car. but outside the door, yes

98) Ever been on a plane?

Yep

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER. ACCEPT EACH OTHER. HATRED AND ANGER DOESNT SOLVE ANYTHING. WE ARE ALL HUMAN. WE ALL BREATHE THE SAME, BLEED THE SAME, DREAM THE SAME. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THEIR GENDER, RACE, SEXUALITY OR ANYTHING ELSE. STOP KILLING EACH OTHER, STOP BULLYING EACH OTHER. LET PEOPLE LOVE WHO THEY WANT. HELP PEOPLE, DONT HURT PEOPLE. PROTECT EACH OTHER. BE KIND TO EACH OTHER. BE KIND TO ANIMALS. PROTECT ANIMALS. PROTECT NATURE. BE KIND TO OUR PLANET, ITS THE ONLY ONE WE’VE GOT

yep basically.

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sohotthateveryonedied · 8 years ago

Text

Young Justice: Darkest

- I get that he kidnapped him and all, but La'gann is being really mean to Kaldur. This guy doesn't need even more people telling him how much they hate him, like come on. Also proof that Kaldur was La'gann's idol. - The Terror Twins! Oh how I missed these psychopaths. But what happened to Tommy, though? Steroids? He's really beefy like when you put a bag of popcorn in the microwave until it gets huge and probably explodes. - Also Cameron!

- I still owe him my life for helping Supermartian get together, so I can never hate him as much as the other villains. I actually don't think he's really all that bad; he's only in the bad guy gig because that's what's expected of him. I kind of hope someone gives him a chance and lets him turn things around, because he could make an awesome hero. - Btw that's Artemis in the Tigress costume, in case you didn't know. I do miss her with the bow and arrows, though. - Cam is such a perve. Stop before you get a restraining order. - I don't care what you say, for there is no heterosexual explanation for Bart showing up at Jaime's house at night to go spend some time with him in the desert. None. - By the way, the scene in which Bart drops in on Jaime totally parallels with the successive scene in which Mal surprised Karen for an impromptu date. Coincidence? I think not. - Appreciate your boyfriend, Karen. Seriously he's so nice, keep him forever. - Haha, Jaime is showing off for Bart. - "Top that, hermano." His voice sounded so rough and seductive right there, just pointing that out. - Headcanon that Bart does art in his free time. - "Its a bird! "It's a plane!" "No, it's a supervillain falling from the sky to come pummel the children and interrupt their date!" - My favorite thing: The concern in Bart's face and voice when he saw Jaime get frozen 👏👏👏 - Scarab needs some anger management courses. Honestly his solution to everything is to kill everyone in the room, and I'm not so sure that's too healthy. Get this bug a stress ball. - The Light has so many tricks up their sleeves there's no room for their arms. Kaldur is really fitting in great with them with his whole decoy thing. - Souvenir #15: Thingie - This is like when you leave home for good but then you want to visit so you sneak in through the window even though you still have a key for the front door but you're just like screw it. This is essentially what Kaldur is doing. - Sphere still trusts and loves Kaldur!!! Proof that pets are more loyal than people. - I can imagine Kaldur just soaking up all the warm memories and nostalgia when he's back in the cave for the first time in forever. Like he's probably remembering what happened in Homefront or he's thinking about when he first came to the cave. Just Kaldur and his fond memories with his friends. - I love that it's so obvious how much Mal loves Karen. He's calling her beautiful, he's patiently waiting while she works instead of getting pissy like most guys would, he wants to take her on a bowling date like when they were kids, honestly Mal Duncan is a keeper. - Ray Palmer aka The Atom. You know I started watching Legends of Tomorrow, which features Ray as one of the main characters, and to be honest he's way cooler than I thought he was. - Ever since the beginning of the show that same video game remote is always on the coffee table in the living room, showing that when you live with boys you can never escape the mess. - Aw, Wolf is a sleepy pupper. - GARFIELD IS WATCHING HELLO MEGAN! BECAUSE HE MISSES HIS MOM ASDFGHJKL - Gar's room is so cute, like he's got posters for his friends and fellow heroes, a Hello Megan! poster, a photo of his mom, cute little dinosaur toys, videogames, and a boogie board. My baby is adorable. Especially because he did an unnecessary flip just to get the door, which is so extra. - Tuppence, why you gotta punch this baby in the face? - Aw, Conner misses his friend 😢. I've always liked Conner and Artemis' friendship. - Cam what are you doing that is your bestie. Did the bonding time in prison mean nothing to you. - Things that make me sad: Dick constantly blaming himself for everything and hating himself for it. - And now our latest segment of Tommy Terror and His Wacky Poetry. - Artemis must be so smug at taking down Dick like that, like I'll bet she would tease him for weeks afterward about how easily she was able to beat him up. - That punch though. I felt that punch in my soul. - Tragic and heartwrenching souvenir #16: The stupid bomb that blew up the team's house - What bothers me is that when I first watched this episode I was so happy that the bomb was a bluff, but then they just had to blow up the mountain anyway. It's like the writers wanted to lure us into a false sense of security before crushing our hearts. Not cool. - ARTEMIS NO!!!! THATS YOUR HOUSE!!! THATS SIX YEARS' WORTH OF MEMORIES AND SOUVENIRS AND MISSIONS AND FRIENDSHIP THAT YOU JUST BLEW UP!!! IVE WATCHED THIS EPISODE COUNTLESS TIMES AND IM STILL NOT OVER IT, NOR WILL I EVER BE OVER IT. - "Mount Justice is... gone." Ouch. - Did I ever mention that I love Mal Duncan? BECAUSE I DO. Look at him just digging through the rubble and then jumping into the water to save his friends. Mal is the real MVP. - I could probably write an essay that would consist of just a thousand adjectives detailing my intense heartbreak at the scene where Wally yells at Dick and they have their falling out, but I'll just use this to sum it up:

- "The cave is-... was just a place!" That "was" just took ten years off my life. - Kaldur right now:

#destiny watches young justice #young justice invasion #yj

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insarations · 7 years ago

Text

Here’s this survey thing

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. dont use itunes anymore so spotify but same thing...santeria by sublime. she likes girls by metro station. different people by no doubt. we can make love by SoMo. when the end comes by andrew belle. my humps by tbep XD

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gwen Stefani, no doubt ;) :D

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "yeah" he said. The light turned green. I braced myself.

4) What do you think about most? um well it depends on the day and time and what not but I guess lately just a certain person. and also about traveling and where I wanna go.

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes both

6) Do you have any strange phobias? eh not really strange..theyre all pretty common

7) What's your religion? Christian/non-denom

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? walking to the car or inside XD

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? No Doubt

10) What was the last lie you told? hmm honestly i'm not sure. I'm not really the lying type

11) Do you believe in karma? ehh... in a sense but idk

12) What does your URL mean? um well its part of my middle name... play on the word daydreams...cause i daydream alot lol

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? i hate that question lol

14) Who is your celebrity crush? it changes alot but currently Anna Kendrick

15) How do you vent your anger? depends. lately I workout. but sometimes I draw or paint or listen to music or just sleep really. sometimes i just reblog things on tumblr or write something

16) Do you have a collection of anything? um kinda... vans, i used to have a lot more cause I worked there but i guess i dont really anymore. books and dvds. um hmm...i feel like i used to collect something else but cant think of it

17) Are you happy with the person you've become? for the most part, yes. theres always room for improvement :)

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? hate-utensils scratching on a plate. love-my cats purring

19) What's your biggest "what if"? ugh, stop.

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both...but probably in different sorts of ways than most people believe in them.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right-beanbag chair. left-box of cheezits

22) Smell the air. What do you smell? the macncheese i just ate

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? hmm good question... idk really. i've enjoyed pretty much all the places ive traveled to

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? uh hmm no one comes to mind atm haha. im too gay i suppose XD but i guess ill say zayn

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? please dont get me started. i could write an essay

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? well yes i drive but dont have my license... never crashed.

27) What was the last movie you saw? Pitch Perfect 3!!!! so amazing

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? when I broke both arms at once

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? its something new all the time really im always obsessing haha i guess anna kendrick

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? ugh yes

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? not usually..it depends. a lot of times its not even a grudge..i forgive easy but bitter feelings stay a while in certain instances

32) What is your astrological sign? aquarius

33) What's the last thing you purchased? a movie ticket

34) Love or lust? L.O.V.E.

35) In a relationship? nope

36) How many relationships have you had? 4...and a 1/2 XD long story

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? um just be myself..not really a weapon lol

38) Where is your best friend? i dont even know who that is anymore :/

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yes i think so..id probably annoy myself at somepoint. hell i already do lol but im alright XD

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? stop, help the dog. animals are just as important as people. if someone cant understand that oh well. i cant always find another job. but animals are life.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? probably those most important to me b) What do you do with your remaining days? quit work. go traveling. spend time with my favorite people and my animals and eat a whole hell of a lot lol c) Would you be afraid? maybe a tad at first but i'm not too afraid of dying, I know i'd be with God and away from the pain of this world. i'd moreso be a little afraid of the pain i might possibly have while still alive

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? hollback girl :D

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? so many things but just... two people that love each other that click and mesh and would do anything for each other and just make each other happy and take care of each other... alot of things i suppose though.

45) How can I win your heart? hmm. just be yourself. be respectful. be sweet. be funny..even if in your own dorky awkward way. be kind and thoughtful. put me first just as much as i put you first. just be genuine and real and true and never lie to me. just, be real.

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? oh yes

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? hmm damn what a question. honestly.... I really don't know the answer to that. not that i havent made good decisions. but... idk what was the best. gotta think on that.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? hmm ive never thought about it lol honestly when i'm gone...do whatever the hell you want haha but i guess if i had to choose..something about my kindness or uniqueness ? idk i try to be kind and different lol

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." cant say right now

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? purple, black, silver, blue

51) What is your current desktop picture? its just black no picture not sure why i havent changed it

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? thats horrible. honestly i wouldnt do that to anyone..even the people i dislike most. well actually, maybe donald trump XD but no still even then i dont think i could do it even though i'm sure itd make america great again XD

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? hmm honestly idk im a very honest person

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? those are too many words you couldnt just ask me what superpower i want?? XD so now i'm gonna be a bitch and not answer

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? um. its between two. both of which involve time with someone important..cant choose which

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? losing people that were important to me

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hmm i guess if i had to choose right this second... anna kendrick.. pretty sure ive mentioned her like a hundred times in this survey

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? right now ummm...boston

59) Ever been on a plane? many times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Anna Kendrick. Channing Tatum. Jennifer Lawrence. Nicole da Silva. michelle rodriguez

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