#i don’t play as much bc life 🙂‍↕️
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screampied · 7 months ago
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Vegas… a dbd player?? Baby what else do you play? 👀👀 I haven’t played dbd for a while, but I was a survivor main, ya know the generic feng, you, Cheryl main. But lately I’ve been back as nea just bc of an outfit. Love you long time.
YESSSSS i’m actually playing rn 🌞 i’ve been playing for like maybe two years now. LOLLL i main cheryl and kate and yun jin my lauv
for killerssss i mostly play spirit, sadako or ghostface 🧖‍♀️ sometimes doctor if im feeling sadistic weeeeef. i also plaaaay sims 4, texas chainsaw massacre, street fighter, mk11, gta, valorant, rainbow six siege, star dew valley and fortnite (against my will)
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kithtaehyung · 2 months ago
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minted: three (explicit) | myg
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title: minted: part three (m) pairing: street king!yoongi x street vendor!reader series: masterlist | one | two rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; haegeum au , gang au summary: at this point, you would do anything to forget. including the unthinkable with a gangster. note: sooo this series basically saved my writing slump haha. i am still having the time of my life and i’m so excited to show y’all more of this minted universe. and to also show you just how spicy things can get❤️‍🔥 note 2: this is ofc a present for hali @sailoryooons that spiraled into a whole universe. still always gonna thank nary @joonary for letting me use the vendor reader idea, as well! also happy birthday to @remmykinsff @awbells @keylime4eva @aaclariww and @noshit-cantfindagoodone!! to everyone else having a bday around this time, this is my gift to you hehehe. warnings: language, drugs, alcohol, slow burn, murder mentions, gang activity, mint!yoongi, haegeum!yoongi, tatted!yoongi, his eyebrow is pierced, chains bc of course :)), world-building, reader is still sassy, yoongi is still infuriating, tension explicit warnings: under the cut! drop date: december 9th, 2024, 9:03pm est word count: 12.3k 😀👍
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explicit warnings: i know it’s a slow burn but there’s definitely smut lol, choking, head/hair tugging, penetration, oral (f rec), backshotssss, marking bye, rough sex, ass play, breast play, his hands are a nice necklace😀, taunting cus reader’s an icon, thighs, breath play, spanking, hand job, protected sex, multiple orgasms, restraints (his hands, robe tie), brat!reader but who is honestly shocked🙂‍↔️, brat tamer!yoongi lmao, yoongi is a menace i’m sorryyyy, but reader is…?????, need them both™, teasing, rawdogging HELLO?? (pls wrap it up fr!), commanding yoongi a ha ha, pain kink, cowgirl🙂‍↕️, this is just the calm before a whole damn storm
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“But,” you exhale with a shake. “Just for tonight…”  
This is it.
The brink of no return.
Your soul dips into the dark.
“Please make me fucking forget.”
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Did you go too far? 
Is there a limit to his accommodation? Did you actually think this was gonna be easy? 
When silence swirls between your robes, you start to second guess your demand. 
But Yoongi simply stares before stepping aside, allowing you to enter his room with jellied legs. 
This is madness, but you’re gonna go through with it. Whatever the hell this will be. Because you may not know much, but you figure all men sit up the same when sex is on the table. 
This man, though... 
Quite frankly, you aren’t sure about anything when it comes to him. Unless it’s about him doing something questionable. Then there’s no question about it.
The enigma himself makes no conversation as you step inside, even as your eyes roam around a cleaner, more put-together room than when you left the first time. Did Yoongi clean this much while you made a mess of your dreams? 
The only answer you get is a door shutting, followed by a massive presence at your back. Before you can so much as turn around, the first words on your shoulders burn like embers,
“Was he your first.” 
Fuck. 
This isn’t what you approached him for. He’s supposed to make you forget, not remember. Remember?
You don’t turn around; you don’t respond right away. Instead, you swallow before focusing very hard on the fact that Yoongi sleeps on the bedside nearest the window. At least, judging by the way the covers are flipped. You happen to prefer the side opposite.
The heat from his body proves soft but intense, and you can’t help but close your eyes when you finally answer with a question, 
“Do you remember yours?” 
“Yes.” 
“Do you ever regret it?” 
“No.”
Your vision lowers to the rug lying still under the bed. A splash of light grey amongst a darkened, moonlit sea. 
No matter how quick Yoongi answers. No matter how even his tone. 
He still remembers it, too. 
But this isn’t what you expected when you walked in here. You assumed this man was going to get right to it, save no room for you to second guess yourself. Clearly he gave zero shits about kissing you in that taxi, and he damn near undressed you in the living room. 
So what’s the holdup here? Does he want this for real? Or not? 
Head at a slight angle, you admit with a hint of finality, “I don’t wanna talk about that.” 
“Mm.” A warm, rough hand subtly tugs at your belt, and prominent knuckles nudge through the smooth material of your robe. “So what are you really here for.” 
Your eyes blink thrice. 
Yoongi cannot be serious. Does he really not know? 
No. He knows. With a shift of your jaw, you realize he’s just fucking with you, purposefully not in the way you want. “You’re being difficult.” 
“You woke me up.”
Ah. That’s fair. 
“So tell me.” 
Well. If you’re gonna have to spell things out for him, he’s gonna be waiting for awhile. Because the more you stand here not doing anything, the harder it is to gather a little thing called courage. Courage to meet the beast in his den, and madness to let him devour you whole. Now you have neither. Neither, neither, neither.
Awkwardness sticks to your throat until it’s jammed, and you can barely mush your lips together to form sounds. The courage you speak of flees before you can wrangle it, and what’s left of your answer tumbles out like boulders, “This is.. I don’t.. I can’t.” 
“You can.” 
“It’s,” you huff, noting that you don’t like this horrible mix of hesitation and anger, “It’s… I’m—” 
Your vision jolts as you feel a quick tug shit you’re spinning fuck your back just hit a wall—
“Of all things today,” Yoongi murmurs with slits for eyes, “This is what gets you to shut up?” 
Damn it. 
You don’t even have a rebuttal. Because he’s right. Yoongi’s sharp discernment is millimeters from your face and you have no intention to move nor speak. Only quick breaths. Only shaky exhales. 
But you do swallow.
Which brings out a sound you will never admit you like: a breathy, condescending laugh, as coarse and as soft as his touch. 
“You mean to tell me,” he observes, tilting your chin while his irises blaze dark, “You came all the way in here for nothing?”
“No, I—”
“All that talk, and for what.” 
Defend yourself. Say something. Say just one word two words any words—
Did Yoongi just pat your cheek? ..Twice? 
Why did you kinda like that—
“Makes no sense,” he ponders aloud, lolling his head and staring down your crumpled lips. “Who even are you..” 
Now that's an easy one. You always have the answer to that question. 
“No one,” you whisper. “Sorry to disappoint you.” 
Seems like the people back home aren’t the only ones you’ll let down. If Yoongi keeps that question loaded in the chamber, he’s gonna keep shooting the same target. Over, and over, and over. 
But you don’t have to worry. Because he drops it, caging you in with a hand near your stiff, risen shoulder, “So what are you here for.” 
This is a mistake. Either Yoongi doesn’t want this, or he’s being frustrating on purpose and your fire is both stoked and quelled. “Now I don’t know for sure.” 
“The more you stall the harder it gets,” he goads with a lick of teasing. And for a split, minuscule second, you wonder if that meant more than one thing.
Goddamn, he’s annoying. He’s outright savoring this. 
Maybe you shouldn’t be surprised. You woke him up for god’s sake. If someone did this same thing to you after the day you’ve had, you wouldn’t have even let them in. 
Unfortunately for you, Yoongi’s version of dealing with a midnight inconvenience is whittling them down until they leave— 
“So you can tell my bellhop off but I get nothing, huh.” 
Oh, shit. 
Oh, shit. 
You’re so taken aback that you can only ask, “What?” 
Mercifully, the dragon gives you air, straightening before leaving your personal space. 
Your focus should be on his words. You know this. But he uses this moment to rake his hair, and words are no match for the sleeve cascading down his inked forearm. 
Even as his hair flows in waves, you still cling to his tattoos as he looks downward in thought. “You think I wouldn’t check who the fuck was coming up here?” 
It takes you a second to process. 
But you realize what this means and you fall silent again.
Yoongi saw that? All of that? You acted without much thought, and if he really did see and hear everything that went down, there’s a chance he thinks a lot differently about you now. No wonder he’s so thrown by this switch in behavior. 
But on the other hand.. The way he touched you in the living room. Was all that because of what he saw? Is that side of you the one that pulled him close? 
You thought his parting would allow you room to breathe. How very wrong you were. 
Shoving all contemplation aside, you decide to coat the room with concern, your assertion making a brief comeback, “He said a lot of shit, Yoongi. What was that about?” 
He languidly approaches the long table at your side—one you faintly noticed while leaving the room the first time. Unbothered, he slides unhurried fingers over a gun, stopping on the barrel before reaching for something less lethal. 
A decanter, it seems. Liquid flows from the container into a smaller glass, and you assume it’s whisky from the deep amber tones and luscious pour.
When you wonder where else Yoongi litters his weapons, he cuts through your surveying, 
“You really wanna know?” 
Looking up, you nod. 
He sets the bottle down with a dull clink. “He took his chances.” 
“His.. What?” 
Now what the hell could this man mean by that? You were clearly being coaxed into leaving the premises, vaguely feeling like something seemed off. How is he being so dismissive about all this? 
Slowly, Yoongi shakes his head, looking out into the night while taking his initial sip. “I don’t come here often. But when I do, I come alone.” Long fingers nestle his cup perfectly as he explains further, “It’s been awhile, so. Had to feel out the staff.” 
The staff. Is that why Yoongi held your hand? To weasel someone out? You really thought he meant it when he said he just wanted to… 
How naive. 
“His plan could’ve been solid.” 
“But what?” You ask, newfound frustration clipping your tone. 
Yoongi slides you a look over the rim of his glass. “He didn’t know who he’d be dealing with.” 
Your eyes roll so far they strain.
But this begs a question. Does he mean dealing with you? Or him? Surely he meant your little show at the elevator but he could very well mean himself. 
Facts are facts. Would Yoongi really trade il-don for you? Absolutely not. So you have to assume he’s mostly talking about the latter. 
Your scoff is pitched to the side, “Of course. You wouldn’t trade il-don for anything.” 
Yoongi pauses, not acknowledging your comment in the slightest as he strolls back your way. “Something I am curious about..” As he leans in, musk and whisky invade both your space and senses. And you hate, hate, hate that you need more of it. “Who was he talking to?” 
“Someone he royally pissed off.” 
“Mm.” 
“You’re not gonna punish him?” 
“Me? Nah.” Leaning on the sideboard, he stares out the windows across the room. Your vision follows suit. “Not until I have to.”
If what happened wasn’t enough to warrant a punishment, you’re morbidly curious about what ticks the box. “I figured he’d be dead by now. At least for trespassing.”
Yoongi only shrugs. “Grey zones aren’t just amnesty for the clans. Anything goes here, too, so a ransom attempt isn’t surprising.” 
This man really doesn’t stand on black or white. Here you are with eggs for brains discovering you were almost taken instead of saved, and he’s chalking it up to, what, just another Tuesday? Or is it still Monday? You don’t even know anymore. 
Your question leaves you a little scuffed. Because you feel exactly like leftover goods. The fruit at the back. “Are you always this heartless?”
“So I’ve been told.” 
Great. 
So much for being… Safe up… here… 
You glance at the touch on your hip, and your eyes traverse up his arm as he toys with your belt again. 
Shouldn’t you feel disgusted? Shouldn’t you be walking away? It’s crystal clear how little this man thinks of you, or anyone for that matter. He probably brought you along just to be a shield for his precious il-don. So why can’t you bring yourself to leave? 
Your knot starts to loosen.
His voice begins to flow.
“But if you’re gonna go for what’s mine, don’t be an idiot.” 
Wait.
No. Nope. Stop thinking about what that could mean. Because if you think too hard, it will only leave you disappointed. 
But there’s something you won’t stop doing. And Yoongi knows you won’t. So as he keeps playing at your waist, your words come out in shudders, 
“Can’t believe you used me.” 
Yoongi hums, and it makes you shiver when his touch leaves you to rest against wood counters. “You’re about to use me, too.” 
Fucking hell, he’s right. 
“Gotta say I didn’t expect it, but..” Damn him and his head tilts. “I’m impressed.” 
You’re too empty-headed that you can’t even process his words as genuine praise. His touches already feel like pops of lights in the night sky.
It’s a given. You aren’t prepared for him in the slightest.
“Come here.” 
Lightly pulling your hand, Yoongi brings you to stand in front of him. And from this point of view, you become even more ensnared. 
His robe flows down his taut build so beautifully, painting him like dark water over rolling hills. At his peak, the hair you’ve come to miss frames his face like artwork. Mesmerizing. Your downfall. 
“You get one more chance. Tell me why I’m awake.” 
Your brow lift is only a front. The rest of you is shaking, trembling, howling. “You clearly know.”
“Tell me anyway.” 
Relentless. Will you shame yourself for wanting to see him use this same strategy on other people? Most likely. But will that stop you from thinking about it anyway? Absolutely, positively not. 
But there’s another side of you that’s being comforted. And it’s the side that realizes how much he’s spoken, how much time you’ve spent without needing to watch behind your back. 
Yoongi talking this much? It’s making things easier. And it’s strangely making you feel a little better, even if the subject matter isn’t the greatest topic in the universe. 
After you steal a glance at the other whisky glass, you look into his eyes. Determined and decisive. Knowing exactly what you want at this very moment, because you just need a little more time. 
“Tell me more. About grey zones.” 
Something in the air freezes. And Yoongi’s brows crease so comically you almost laugh. “That’s it?” 
“Yes.” 
His nod is slow as he sets down his glass.
And you’re quickly hauled back so fast that you don’t have time to react. 
A rush of air. The world topples. Soft sheets. 
Dangerously, a thin chain sways above as Yoongi shrouds your body in silk and lingering smoke. A gasp escapes you as he peers into your eyes, and your senses fire as a commanding hand slides up your thigh. 
“Final answer?”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck you know you want him and you still do but also talking to him isn’t half bad and maybe you’re just tired of being lonely— 
Musk. Alcohol. Breathing hard, you take it all in. Slowly nodding because you can’t function otherwise, which makes a dragon flash teeth. 
But he obliges without moving a muscle, so you’re left underneath a demon—robe dangerously close to opening and exposing everything once again.
A man of conviction, Yoongi does exactly as you ask. Eyes drooped, he continues his explanations, as if he didn’t just shove you into his enormous bed and tangle you under his legs, 
“They started awhile ago, back when all the high-powers got locked in a grudge match. Took half the city with them.” 
Immediately, your shoulders start to sink into his tale. “Half is a lot.” 
“Everything went to shit,” he agrees. “Not even the Politicol could stop it all.” 
“Bullshit.”
His level expression is enough to refute.  
Now that’s a shock to learn. For as long as you can remember, the Politicol have always held more power than any force should ever have. If they weren’t able to keep this under control, the high-powers used to be ungodly. 
Staring at the slippage on Yoongi’s shoulder, you wonder if those ink lines are to immortalize the ones that came before him. The history he must’ve grown up memorizing. 
Still.. Why does he have them all? There’s no way he doesn’t know how disrespectful that is to all three clans. 
But then again. He said he didn’t choose them himself. Which leads you nowhere in this unending maze. 
Head disheveled; robe coming undone. To outsiders, you’d be at Yoongi’s mercy. 
But in reality, you’re laser focused on him and his explanations. Especially when his voice scratches every itch just right. “So…” You watch his gaze slowly slide down your face. “What happened?”
Even now, Yoongi’s hands stay exactly where they are. The only thing that moves is the tinkling swing of his silver above your warming neck. “Deals were made, stripping power from all of them in certain sectors so that none could completely take over.” 
“Why only in certain ones?” 
A corner of his mouth quirks up. “Let’s just say the negotiations went how you think they did.” 
Your eyes roll yet again. But another question pings into your mind as quick as the first one, knitting your brows. “Wait… Deals with the Politicol? Or each other? No way they would’ve let cowards put them all on a leash.” 
At this, something interesting passes over Yoongi’s face.
But it flits away before you can snatch it for further inspection, and the shift of his leg against your thighs resets your brain. 
“Any of the clans could’ve monopolized if they had the right resource, but. They weren’t ever gonna let outsiders get a piece. Called a truce and kept their mouths shut.” 
Makes sense. You know exactly what resource he’s referring to. “The il-don.” 
“That’s part of it.” He shifts again, but this time, your legs have more room to move. “But grey zones have priority infrastructure. The ones that keep the lights on. If you had the money, you had the people. And people are the best resource there is.” 
It’s at this moment that a lot of things click into place. 
And one of those is figuring out that you may have been a little wrong about the man above you. 
Is he heartless? To a high degree. But that comes with being calculating. Patient. Smart. Everything that Yoongi has been this entire time you’ve tagged along. 
He’s not keeping the il-don safe because he treasures it. It’s because the money is a tool. A tool to help him get what he wants whenever he needs. And leverage it for value instead of frivolous decisions and material things. 
Yoongi must have really, really enjoyed your tangerines.
A stray touch finally makes its way inside your thigh. And you flare between your legs. Shivering. Aching. You’re sparkling inside but won’t allow yourself to fully explode. Not when he’s revealing so much without telling. Not when you’re starting to see things from his angle. 
“Keep talking,” you rush out, gripping his robe and squeezing his pelvis. 
Though his fingers still light flares on your skin, Yoongi stops in his daring quest, observing your face without judgment. 
“I like it,” you shakily admit. Because screw it, since you’ll never see him again. “Learning about all this.” 
You sigh at his weight. His beautiful, strangely calming weight. “About you, too.” 
Stopping all movements, Yoongi coats your skin with gravel. “What good will knowing all this do.” 
He’s got a point. And it hammers home exactly what you were just thinking. “Nothing, maybe,” you answer, squeezing his robe a little longer. 
Fuck, you really are this deprived. This lonely. Is bedding a dangerous man—this dangerous man—really better than being alone right now? A mental reset is outstandingly in order throughout the coming abysmal months.
You finish your weak explanation, hoping it’s enough to convince him, 
“But it’s helping.” 
Yoongi lifts his head to watch your eyes. And you observe how dark his are in return. How cold. 
But yet.. Why do you also see…?
With a slight huff, you tack on, “And you aren’t so annoying to talk to right now.” 
There it is. That spark you’ve seen before in dusty, tinkering streets. “Don’t push your luck.” 
“I might.” 
He exhales, shifting himself into a sitting position and facing the door. “The thing about grey zones.. No affiliation, no rules. You can be anyone here.” 
When you lift your upper body to sit, you watch his side profile as you repeat, “Anyone?” 
Yoongi turns to look at your lips. 
You know there’s a question you want to ask. But for some reason, it’s difficult to say. 
But eventually, you can’t help it. Because you’re intrigued. You’re haunted. And you really, really need this. 
“Then who do you want me to be.”
He lets out a cross between a scoff and a laugh. Looking into your eyes, he asks in disbelief, “You?”
“I’m pretty good at pretending.” 
“Sure you are.” He gives you another small grin before resting forearms on his knees. “But you don’t want my answer to that.” 
Swallowing is proving too difficult. What the hell does he mean by that? Is it one big bluff or a real opinion? “You’re just being a pussy.” 
All you get is the side of his cheek rising high.
Yeah. He’s not gonna tell you a damn thing. 
“Forget about me then. Who are you right now?” You wait as his expression falls back to earth. “Agust? Or Yoongi?” 
When you end with silence, you’re met with an approaching shadowed visage. And even in this moment, you sense static in the air, both of you poised and locked in a dangerous, thrilling dance. 
“You tell me.” 
Your breath cuts as he slips a finger inside your robe, and you dare not breathe when he pulls—slow, unhurried, intoxicating. 
You’ve never felt quite like this. 
Are you supposed to do something, too? Is there something that usually happens here? Your experience isn’t zero but it is clearly leagues below where it should be. 
Before you can blink a third time, your garment is ever, ever so slightly off your shoulder.
And you haven’t uttered a damn thing.
So he keeps going, sliding it lower, and lower, until he reveals a part of you that you didn’t mean to reveal so suddenly before. 
This time, it’s deliberate. And that makes it terrifying. 
This is the point of no return. The slope of your chest barely keeps your robe from dipping any farther. It’s happening, and life between you will never be the same when it’s over. 
And yet. 
Your nerves speak up at the worst time.
“Get me a drink,” you whisper, “Then maybe I will.”
Yoongi flicks up an eyebrow before obliging, and you silently mourn the loss of his heated touch. 
He walks over to pour you something neat, taking his time bringing both glasses to the bed. When you sit up properly, you habitually adjust your robe, scoffing at his hum. 
“Thanks,” you whisper, taking the glass and smelling the piercing aroma. “Maybe this is what I needed all along.”
“You ever had sex before?”
The question is so sudden and blunt that you cough up a burning sip. “Ow, fuck..” Wincing, you wipe your mouth before breathing in scratchy inhales. “If you must know, I have.”
“Maybe you are good at pretending then,” Yoongi drawls. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Don’t get me wrong. This situation is new to me.”
His brow raises are definitely talking a lot for him. 
“I’ve just never.. I dunno. Never had just one night.” Taking a more cautious sip, you continue. “Much less with someone like you.”
“Like me?”
“With a.. You know.” You fiddle with your glass. “A customer.” 
When you hear his reaction, you stare at his raised cheek, stomach fluttering when he sighs downward,
“You can’t just say shit like that.” 
“I can say whatever I want,” you counter. “Especially since I…”
You don’t wanna finish that. It helps that Yoongi doesn’t look your way still, taking a sip of his whisky instead. His locks swing forward as he leans, and you almost reach out to feel them. Maybe you’ll get to very soon. When you finally get over this final hurdle of outright shyness. 
Why are you so timid right now? Why can’t you just tell him what you very obviously came in here for and get on with it? You’ve been decisive as fuck the rest of today, so what’s got your tongue pressed this time? Is it really your abysmal level of experience?
Or is it because you’re gravitating to more sides of him with each passing second? 
“Since you what.” 
“Since I don’t like you,” you snip. 
Yoongi flashes teeth in amusement. “Keep telling yourself that.” 
“Oh, shut up.” You take another drink, feeling the burn down your throat. “I don’t have to if it’s true.” 
Both of you keep drinking in silence after that. Which makes things a weird mix of calm and awkward, considering what your original mission was. 
Going over the events of today, it’s a wonder why you aren’t crashing into a dreamless sleep. You’ve been up and having the most exhausting day ever, and yet, you can’t imagine shutting your eyes. 
Think of something else to talk about. Anything. Any topic you could possibly hold a conversation with Yoongi over. 
What did he respond to before? No small talk, since the plantains thing from months ago was a bust. And when you conversed over ramyeon it was more of him angering you on purpose—wait a minute. 
There was something you never circled back to. 
And as soon as you ask him about it, he appears impressed you remembered, 
“Were you bluffing when you said you knew what I was shopping for?” 
“No,” he responds immediately. “And I know I’m right.” 
“Prove it.” 
Mouth curved at an annoying angle, Yoongi shoots you a look before placing his drink down, getting up to walk to a tall armoire. 
Your eyes follow his every movement, even the way his ass moves under that damned robe. But soon, your jaw goes slack not because of his assets. 
But because the motherfucker was right on the money. 
How the… How the fuck did Yoongi know? 
In front of your face lies exactly what you were searching for. Sleek. Minimal. Lightweight and visibly balanced. You don’t even want to keep shopping around because this is the only one you want. 
How did he know you were shopping for daggers based on one single line of questioning? 
“I wasn’t gonna show you until you asked,” he divulges. “Honestly, I was hoping you’d forget. This one was hard as fuck to track down.” 
Eyes flicking up to his, you ask in wonder, “Can I…?” 
He lifts it slightly, signaling that you can indeed hold it yourself. 
And it’s perfect. 
“Wow,” you breathe out, feeling along its edges and hilt. It’s all one continuous line, with metal so black and matted that you almost moan. “I don’t have much on me, but.. I’ll give you whatever you want for this.” 
“Keep it.” 
What? 
“It’s yours.” 
There’s no way he’s just gonna gift this to you. It’s perfectly crafted in material you can’t even find in Crane. And they have almost every class of ore in existence. 
Who even is this man? 
“Yoongi, this is…” You shake your head while extending it back. “I can’t just take this.” 
“You can.” He fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist. “I did.”
Oh. Charming. The weapon you’re being gifted is stolen goods. “Well, in that case, I really can’t accept it.” 
But goddamn, this is more than perfect. You can’t even pluck one finger off the handle. And you can’t change the fact that it was already taken, right? Right?
“At least…” Scowling at your own crumbling morals, you mumble, “Not without good reason.”  
He looks at you over his shoulder. “Do I need a reason?” 
“No,” you reply. “But I’d like one.” 
Yoongi sighs long before moving his fingers. “I lied to you back there in the lobby.” Looking up at a clock instead of you, he works his jaw. “But this time, it really is just that.” 
“You expect me to believe you?” 
Fuck, the veins in his hands are so prominent when he laces them together. “No. But it’s better than those chopsticks you’re saving in the bathroom.”
Oh. So he saw those, too.
“Thank you,” is what you wave in white. Because that’s exactly how you feel and this one gesture does excuse some of his faults. Maybe. Or your standards have plummeted to the gutters. “I, umm. I usually keep one for self-defence. Just in case.” 
Turning it over and back again, you marvel at its light but solid weight. “But I lost mine in the last rough raid before they suddenly stopped.”
“Don’t sweat it.” 
“K.” Placing it on the closest nightstand, you go back to holding your glass between your hands. “One day I’ll pay you back somehow.” 
Yoongi shoots that down on sight. “No need.” 
“But I want to.” 
He glares before picking up his alcohol. “Anyone that owes me shit gets treated a lot different.” The drink rests in his hand like a liquid gem. “So just accept it as a gift, doll.” 
You’d laugh if you knew he was kidding. But you know he’s dead serious, so you only nod. 
It’s quiet again as you both retreat into your minds. 
Yoongi has the mental fortitude of a fortress it seems. Because he really is set on waiting until you tell him what you woke him up for, and it’s been awhile since this all started. 
But being in his presence while the night is quiet is somewhat comforting. You’re finding it easy to think about other things now, especially after he gave you so much to mull over. 
Like grey zones and how they came to be. It’s fascinating how you had no clue even though you should. Even though this whole conflict affected half the city. 
Wanting to gain more insight, you blurt your curiosity, “How long ago were the grey zones fought over? Before everything was decided?” 
“Years. Decades, at this point,” Yoongi answers, his gaze locked as you think about this timeline. “Most people don’t even bother knowing, though.”
“Why? This sounds like a big part of our history.” 
“No one cares if a Crane kills a Dragon.” His tone shifts slightly. And you wouldn’t have caught it if not for his subtle sulk. “They only resent the blood they have to wipe from the street.” 
Your lids lower all the same. Because that resonates deep within your chest, so much so that you feel your heart bend in its aching. “No one cares about us, either.” 
When Yoongi catches your look, you give a sad excuse of a smile. “Being a vendor? Especially where I am? You quickly figure out how little you matter. You as a person, I mean.” 
You slide fingers along the tiny rim of your glass, lost in the fibers of his rug more than anything else. 
Maybe you’re just a loose fiber in the rug of this city. One that will pretend to run only to be swept back into the folds. “The only things that people remember are what you offer. Anything other than that isn’t worth their time.” 
Lifting your chin, you save face. “Can’t say I won’t miss you.” May as well admit it all if you aren’t ever gonna see him again. “You were the only one that ever let me bother them.” 
“You never bothered me.” 
You look up to see him staring. Lip curled upward, you huff. “With all the looks you gave me? I find that hard to believe.” 
Yoongi doesn’t laugh in return. “What would I gain from lying?” 
Mm. That’s an interesting question. But the alcohol starts to talk for you as you have the balls to flirt. “People lie to get laid, for one.” 
“Mm.” He takes a measured sip of his glass, the last dredges of it swaying at the bottom. “Can’t say I’ve ever needed to.” 
“Shocker,” you drawl, sipping to match his pace. And it’s after this drink that you loosely admit, “This is really good, by the way.” 
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm.” Lifting the glass to peer inside, you swirl it around before divulging a past you don’t talk about—ever. But what are rules of conversation when you want to stall? “My uncle got me into whisky a long time ago. But fruit stands don’t pay for top shelf alcohol.” 
“Where’s he at now?” 
“Uhh.” You look away. “Gone.” 
“Sorry to hear that.” 
He gets up, and you watch in silence as he makes his way to the sideboard. Stuff shifts around before he appears to pour another glass. And he stays there for a bit, black robe blending into all the dark decor. 
“Yoongi?” 
He turns. 
“Can you keep talking?” You keep your drink steady between your robed legs. Buzzed and vulnerable, you offer an explanation, “Turns out there’s a lot I wanna forget right now.”
Like endings. And future endless days without your most frustrating, most dangerous, most favorite customer. 
Yoongi pauses before walking back to the bed. When his thighs settle next to yours, he asks without much heart, “What do you wanna know.”
“You.”
His jaw shifts, and you feel a slight tug in your chest. 
Was that too forward? Probably. But you’ll take what you can get, like a last meal chosen to hit every one of your desires. “Anything you wanna tell me, of course.”
Yoongi remains quiet. Which isn’t unexpected but still a little letdown. 
“Not much to tell.” 
Ah. Just more lies then. Maybe you should stick to the original plan. “Nothing at all?”
He looks at you, planting a hand on the bed to lean a little closer. “Nothing you’d wanna hear.”
You shift between his eyes. Wondering if it’s better not knowing or if you really do wanna give in. 
Perhaps his eyes will speak for him instead. Glowing dark. Hints of ember and smoke. Years and years squeezed into those irises. 
“What if I do,” you quietly question, catching the light on his alcohol-tainted lips. 
Reaching out, you boldly place a thumb over one side, slowly brushing off excess liquid and marveling at how soft he is there. Tender, just like his name. “What if I don’t care.”
Yoongi waits for a moment before holding your wrist, the atmosphere trembling and buzzing around your shoulders. Oxygen depletes as he leans in close, his beautiful features almost touching yours. 
You feel something locking into place. Something beautiful and terrifying. And it holds you down as you feel his hair, his warmth, his—
A noise blares into the room before you can feel yourself rushing upward, your body reacting on survival instinct alone. Glasses spill onto the rug and you don’t know what’s happening but lack of sleep lack of comfort lack of everything has you ready for—
Time stops. 
Sounds muffle. 
And your eyes flash wide as you see the tip of your blade pointed straight at Yoongi’s side. 
Just as he’s poised with a gun pointed towards the door. 
It’s a phone ringing. 
A fucking. Telephone. 
What have you done?
As Yoongi slowly shifts his gaze to your outstretched hand, you tremble in severe regret. Regret that you pulled this on him with the very weapon he gave you. Regret that he knows all there is to know about how you still feel about him. 
But you didn’t mean to… You didn’t even think. And you abhor how you directed your fear at the one person that kept you alive. The one person you fucking saved. 
When Yoongi lowers his gun, he doesn’t acknowledge the guilt on your face. But as he walks away to grab his device, his gaze flicks back to you before he answers across the room. 
Shit. 
You fucked up you fucked up you fucked up. 
You weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t care. You really weren’t. But who knows what Yoongi will think of you after that shock of a face off. 
Coming into his room was most definitely a mistake. Now you can’t wrangle your emotions for shit, head pounding with feelings and outcomes and adrenaline to the brim. 
Yoongi’s close to the wide bathroom stairs, so you can’t hear what’s being said. He does keep looking at you, though, which keeps your fingers pressed against a hilt. 
Are you in danger? Will Yoongi not want anything to do with you anymore? Is it alarming that you can’t decide which one is worse? 
The call doesn’t last long.
And as soon as he hangs up, you’re sputtering like a broken fountain, dagger still wielded as he stalks forward—phone clunking to the ground. “Who was that.” 
“No one.”
“What’s gonna happen to me.” 
“Nothing.” 
Fuck. You really did fuck everything up. Your brain is so battered that you’re gonna be skittish and paranoid for a long, long time. “Yoongi, I’m so—I didn’t mean to—It just happened—”
Forget it. It’s over. Your last interaction will haunt you forever and the only way you’ll experience what could’ve happened between you will be in your wildest darkest sweetest illest—
Burns flare at your eyes when Yoongi’s chest meets the quivering tip of your blade. 
“Stop,” you wince out, a damning tear pinging to your feet. “Just stop.” 
He starts to walk forward, which alarms you enough to step back because what the fuck is he doing! Why can’t your arms move? Why can’t you lower the fucking dagger? 
“I can’t,” you croak. “I can’t move.”
You’ve been firing on all fronts the whole day. Even in your dreams, you’re in survival mode. You can’t unlock your arms because they fight for the rest of you. Your legs propel you when the rest of you wants to give up. 
But that still doesn’t stop your heart from aching. It burns, it burns, it burns. 
When Yoongi grips your wrist, you choke on a sob. When he calls you smart, you squeeze your eyes shut in shame. And when he whispers to drop the fucking blade or he’ll do it for you, you do so after a maddening pause. 
It clunks to the ground when a gun does, and you’re suddenly spun until the backs of your knees hit something solid. 
Immediately, you’re thrust back onto dark sheets again, tears now rolling into your ears as you instinctively let Yoongi smother you whole. 
His hand slides to your inner thigh, and your mind reels when you start feeling a hardness on your stomach. Breath whooshes out of your mouth before you're covered in silk and muscle, and pleasure bursts from where he quickly devours your neck fuck.
Hands are quick to untie your robe as fire stokes your throat. 
“I won’t ask again,” he vows with a voice that rumbles. “Tell me what you fuckin’ want.” 
“Yoongi—” 
“Say it and it’s yours.” 
“Make me forget,” you shove through your teeth. “Just make me fucking forget.” 
“How.” 
Fuck lack of experience. Fuck being shy. You aren’t wasting another damn second and your emotions need all the release they can get. Loose lips, loose tongue, looser inhibitions.
The monster inside of you yanks at its chain, claws and claws at its confines screaming at you to give in. You need this. You want this, especially if Yoongi himself is gonna give it so willingly.
Just say it. Just say it.
“If this really is the last time I’ll see you…” 
Yoongi stills as your eyes lock unblinking. 
Tell him. Four words. 
“Fuck me like it.”
A proverbial chain snaps as Yoongi dives into your neck, ravishing you and sucking hard on your vein. When you yelp, your clenched legs seem to encourage, and he thrusts forward to launch you up the bed with a purpose. With intention.
All to let you know what you just got yourself into.
His fingers light little fires along your skin, burning everything in their paths up your arms, your sides, squeezing into your imperfections and latching down. His lips set your being ablaze as he keeps feasting, causing your breaths to get shorter, and shorter, and shorter. 
“So sensitive..” 
When you feel the warm swipe of a tongue, your eyes scrunch shut as you shudder. Which makes the whole thing worse for you when Yoongi chuckles dark in return. 
“I don’t think you’re ready for this.” 
“Shut up,” you huff out, grasping for his robe and raking at his sleeves. “Of course I am—Fuck.”
His thumb rolls across your exposed nipple, pinching it to make you arch right up into his chest. “You sure?” 
When the hell did he even open your robe? How did he do that so quick without you knowing? 
You bite down on your lip to keep from screaming, nodding in determination while your brows almost kiss. 
Watching your expression, Yoongi pinches again, biting his own lip while slowly spreading that shit grin. Your moan comes out more like a muted hum, which seems to displease. 
“Uh uh,” he orders. “You’re gonna be loud for me.”  
“But what if someone—” 
“They won’t.” 
He continues in his control, sliding a hand under your thigh to hitch it up before shoving it to the side. 
And you know where he’s going. But it still shocks you all the same when his fingers make contact with your slick. 
Your very, very wet slick. 
Many, many things will haunt you for life. Your experiences. Your choices. 
But right now? The only thing that will follow you to your grave is this distinct, biting, staccato batch of laughter. “You shouldn’t’ve ever come in here.” 
Breath ragged, you watch as Yoongi concentrates, exploring your cunt with his long digits and hitting every nerve with perfection. When you rub against him, he growls, lifting shiny fingers to insert right into his mouth. 
Sucking. 
Licking. 
And your eyes mirror his at once—as black and pulsing as fallen stars. 
He swoops down at the same moment you tug on his clothing, his mouth latching onto the side of your neck he hasn’t ravaged. Impatient, his hand yanks the bottom of your robe to the side, fully exposing your legs and leaking folds while you grapple with your own obstacles. 
It’s messy. It’s jilted. It’s exactly what you want. 
As soon as you find the slit in his robe, you take a brave leap and reach for his cock, not knowing what you’re gonna find but having a vague idea based on his—
Oh. What.
Fuck, he’s gonna split you in two. 
You’ve held one before. You know what they feel like. But this cannot be possible and you’re already mentally preparing yourself for your breaking point. 
“You good?” 
You snap your head right up, realizing how stunned you must be if he’s asking. “I… You’re fucking huge.” 
Yoongi doesn’t react, but that somehow makes it more attractive. Like he knows. And he doesn’t deny a thing. “That a problem?” 
“I mean… I think I’ve lived a good enough life.” 
To your surprise, the man above breaks completely as you keep blabbering, shoulders shaking alongside those stupid dimples. Those beautiful, elusive dimples. Too bad this is the last time you’ll ever see them. “Did what I wanted.. Not everything, but most of my list.” 
Yoongi’s still chuckling. And for a brief moment, you’re brought back to the days he was just a patron. Back to when you would think about him before bed, delighted to see him stop by. 
This is him. This is Yoongi with you now. 
Where was he this whole time? Was he really waiting until you answered him for real? 
You went so far into your head that you missed the change in position. So it makes you jump like hell when you realize where his teal mop of hair resides. “Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?” 
Between your thighs, Yoongi lifts a brow, locking your legs with tough arms before you can even move. 
“Yoongi, you don’t have to—oh, fuck!” 
The first contact of his tongue on your folds makes your eyes burst, your legs effectively being pinned down in their tensing. Jolts of lust spiral from your core as he licks, sucks, twirls around your clit like it’s second nature, and you feel yourself welcoming his every thrust.
This is happening. This is happening? You’ve never done this before, not that you’ll admit it. Whatever Yoongi’s doing is completely new territory for you and you don’t ever think you’ll leave. Permanent residence. No other land to discover. 
Whines echoes throughout the room before you slap a hand over your mouth. Because the whole world will hear his name if you don’t. Especially when he adds fingers and curls them just right what the fuck! 
He makes you forget. And forget. And forget. You even forget your own name. Only his. Saying it into your palm over and over and clawing his sheets with the other. 
A low growl rumbles between your legs before you hear him purr, “Just like I fucking thought.” 
What’d he say? He didn’t say that. You’re hearing things, you’re sure of it. There’s absolutely no way Yoongi’s imagined anything about you, much less what you taste like. 
And the words keep coming as he whispers how tight you feel. How hot. How perfect you’re gonna fit him. 
While all you can utter in return is gibberish mixed with the syllables of his name. 
Pleasure rolls in waves as he learns every inch of your cunt, fingers drenched in your slick and the curves of his cheeks lathered in your scent. When he reaches beneath you to grope your ass, he gives a rough squeeze. 
“Move your fucking hand.” 
Your eyes fling wide. 
“I wanna hear you.” 
“No, I’m—there could be people—”
He clambers over you, robe wide open and revealing a body that rips your soul clean out. When he seizes your palm to shove it to the side, another monster starts to wake within your chest. 
And this one takes treacherous pleasure in those slitted eyes. 
“You’re gonna scream for me.” 
“Or else what.” 
The dark rumble. The rolling thunder. 
Your other monster is starting to match his glint. “You don’t wanna do that with me, doll.” 
“Do what?” you ask with flitting eyes. 
When all you get is a sharp smirk in return, your stomach flips in desire and excitement. So when he slaps the side of your breast, you hum high with a delighted flinch.
“Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.” 
Yes. This is what you came in here for. Your shyness will have to be comfortable with the unknown, but it’s also helping seeing Yoongi much more relaxed. 
Like a normal person. 
Especially when he leans over to open his bedside drawer, hair swaying as he grabs for what you think are condoms. 
Your hunch is right when he rights himself again, teeth nicking a wrapper before tearing it in one sweep. When you start to clench your legs together in response, he shoves them back open with a thigh, robe parting to show exactly what’s going to splice you in half. 
You’ll gladly take his amusement at your jaw unhinging. Because what you see is heaven sent. 
Yoongi says nothing as he wraps himself fully, and he continues to be silent as you whisper, 
“I wanna see you.” 
It doesn’t take long for him to understand. As his length presses against your core, he slips off his dark robe, letting it slide down equally dark sheets before pouring onto the floor. 
You’re just as quiet as he situates himself above your beating heart. Which is for the best. Your thoughts are better left unsaid. 
All you can do is grip his arm, sliding your hand up until you can finally, finally brush his hair with your own fingers. Exhaling when you discover how soft it feels. How comfort can be found in something as trivial as tendrils.
“This is helping, too,” you murmur to his lips, inhaling what you realize is your own scent. 
When he cradles your chin, your breath cuts. “Things happen when you say what you want.” 
“If only it was always that easy.”
“It is with me.” 
Your heart skips twice before tripping on itself, and you instinctively curl your palm against his head. “Everyone around you must be so lucky.” 
An eyebrow lifts before he huffs. “Not talking about just anyone, love.” 
…Huh? 
What does he mean by that because shit you’re getting tugged forward he’s so strong—
“Now, if you’re gonna be difficult,” Yoongi warns. “Let’s give you enough time to reconsider.” 
Your thighs widen as he positions himself at your entrance, cockhead rubbing along your folds as you tense. 
“Uh uh.” He hums. “This is what you want, yeah?”
“It’s been awhile,” you spat, rolling your eyes when he shoots you a knowing look. “Just… give me a second.” 
Obliging, Yoongi starts slow, making your head roll into the pillow as you accommodate his girth. Holy fuck, he’s big. But he’s sliding in easy after his little feast down there, which you piece together as one big prep for the main course. 
“Fuck,” he groans, resisting every urge to plow straight into you. At least, from what you can decipher in his pinched features. If this feels amazing for you, you can’t even imagine what he must be feeling now. It only gives you butterflies knowing he’s following through with his word. “So fucking tight.” 
“Not my fault you take up… so much space,” you grit through your teeth, neck straining as you blow air to the ceiling. 
Fully sheathed, Yoongi rests inside until your muscles relax. And you only peel your eyes open when you start to slip into more pleasure than anything else. 
Okay. You can do this. You can fit him surprisingly well—maybe too well—and you’re okay to keep going without restraint. 
When you peer down your body, you expect him to look bored or indifferent. Like he’s wasting time dealing with you. 
So it makes you shiver when Yoongi looks ready to ruin. 
Toned arms flex at his sides, hands keeping your thighs held in their place. When a strand of vibrant hair falls, his chains spark in the moonlight streaming in from the windows. A dragon that waits. And waits.
You’re ready. Your demise will be your reward. 
“I’m good,” you assure him. “You can move now—”
A second invisible chain snaps with a clink, and Yoongi launches into a thrust that has you seeing stars. You tumble through the dark as he thrusts again, mouth open with silent yells before you gnaw right into your lip. 
“Relax for me,” he commands. “Just like that.” 
Your cunt hugs him tight as you bounce even harder, his little grunts of praise making you mewl and whimper in bursts. 
Fucking hell, this feels good. 
You cannot wait to find out how it’ll feel when you piss him off. 
His hands grip your hips, hosting you up onto his thighs as he thrusts hard into your cunt. Your body rocks in an arch, limp and at his mercy—which there is very little of. Enchanted, your  lip tightens with the pull of your teeth, eyes squeezing shut as he feels so fucking good and hitting. Just. Right. 
It all carries you so far gone that as soon as you feel a rush of air, the sting on your ass makes you react—piercing moan making both of you freeze.
And Yoongi’s eyes deepen a shade as he slowly grins. “There you go.” 
“Don’t act like you—fuck!” His second swat has you grunting through your teeth, and his thrust forward at the same time he does it again has you whining. Monosyllabic, his name shoves out of your lungs, with each part more chipped than the next. 
“What’s that, love?”
“Yoongi, please—”
“That’s right.” He clutches your sides so damn rough. “Say my fuckin’ name.” 
And his pace pitches you into the sun, rocking so hard you won’t be surprised if the bed frame snaps in half. In thirds. In sevenths. Your legs go completely limp as he drives in, filling you and hitting a spot that pierces your eyes with stars and light and lust. Down down down you spiral, up up up you go. It’s only you and him now, with Yoongi plowing into you like his life ends come morning. 
There’s nothing in the world that feels like this. Burdened by the dangerous weight of a man—this man—while feeling so light you could float? Absolutely nothing can compare. 
Your body finally rests as he stops, but you get no breather as he flips you over with strong arms. Disoriented, you squeak as he tugs you backward, your ass rising in the air as your head is shoved into luxury cotton. 
Sweet pain sears your ass again, and you gasp with wide eyes as you feel his cock at your entrance. “What are you—”
“Lift up. Higher.” He slides his dick up your folds. “You’re gonna like this.” 
“You don’t speak for me—”
He thrusts into you as soon as you get accustomed to his length and size. And the place his thumb presses makes you scream into your pillow. His pillow. A hotel suite pillow that you’re biting to stay afloat. 
How the fuck does that feel so good? How does all of this feel so good? His thumb on your asshole already has you melting, but the smacking of his sack against your clit makes you want to repent.
“So fucking—fuck.”
Drool strings from your mouth as your arms are tugged at the elbows, your whole upper body coming up for air. Precious precious air that’s cut off when Yoongi chokes you from behind.
“Yoo—!”
His strength slams your chest into the headboard, right at the edge of the bed before you feel the force of his palm hit the wall. 
“What did I fucking say.”
“A lot.”
“I’m gonna hear you.”
“But—”
He shoves you flush against dark wood, your cheek smushing hard and your lips curling. “Let them hear you, too.” 
You keep your moans muted until fingers are shoved down your throat. And you gargle until he yanks them out. 
“That’s it. I know you can take it.”
“You’re easier…” Gritting your teeth in a smug grin, you taunt in a bold-faced lie, “Easier to take than I thought.”  
His laughter is not lighthearted. “You’re still gonna go there, huh.” 
“I don’t know what you mean,” you pout, eyes drooping from the euphoric shocks his thrusts provide. Sweat rolls down your arms as you slip on the wall, but it gives your chest a cool surface to rest. “Go where?” 
Suddenly, the grinding stops. And your cunt feels abandoned as he pulls out so fast. When you think to spin around, he spanks your ass with a harsh, “Don’t move.” 
Do you want to disobey? Yes. But you’re more curious than anything, so do as he says.
And your eyes light up when you realize what he comes back with. 
“Now… I could use this,,” he warns, pressing a silky smooth robe tie along your neck. “Since you don’t wanna behave.”
“Do it,” you taunt, wishing like hell that he does. Yes, yes, yes. You’re drunk on lust and volcanic want and you will fight for nothing more. “You won’t.” 
Your neck is rocked back before you feel him slap your ass. “Then stay still.” 
And you obey as you feel your belt—or his, either one—wrap loosely around your column before it’s tied. 
Gently, your chin is turned, and you’re surprised when you’re met with stern eyes. “Can you breathe.” 
Blinking, you nod. “Yeah, I can.” 
“Two taps if you’re out, understand?” 
“Yes.” 
A swift pat to your cheek. “What’d I say.” 
“Two taps,” you repeat, figuring out fast that you’re liking this development a little too much. “If I’m out.” 
Holy fuck the yank you feel is exhilarating, your body bending back as shock overcomes your senses. 
Lidded eyes staring down at yours, he vows, “You better make them count or we never do this again.” 
“I will, I will,” you rasp out, breath still coming to you fine albeit a little more harshly. “I promise.” 
“Good girl.”  
Wait, did he say again? 
As he slips right back inside, you lose all passing trains of thought. Cunt filled while his fingers clog your mouth makes you traverse to another plane. Every part of you, at his mercy—
Then he yanks you backward and all that mercy burns in the flames of heaven. Flocks to the clouds of hell.
The belt is completely taut as you succumb to his thrusts. Hard. Fast. Rough thrusts make you cry out as he toys with you, gravelly hums tumbling down your back as you arch for him. All the sounds you make echo throughout the room, a symphony of mewls and moans as Yoongi controls your every move. 
“Take it.”
“Hmm?”
“You want it,” he repeats. “So take it.”
Oh. Oh, he wants you to—Oh.
You start moving back and forth, doing exactly as he says. Taking what’s yours for the night and shamefully not forever.
But it turns out it’s not enough because he tugs. 
“Like you fucking mean it.”
Fuck.
Groaning, you move with more intention, sliding up and down his cock and feeling full every time. It feels good having control, you muse, and imagining him watching your debauchery turns you on that much more.
Your thrusts turn to rough slams, friction running fast while you chase it with all your strength. The groans you hear sound primal, hissed taunts egging you on.
“Guess you can listen after all.” 
“Fuck you.”
Another hard yank. 
Your laugh only spurns him on. 
Slaps to your ass, grabs to your breasts. Yoongi is worshipping every inch of you and you won’t even notice this until nights later when you’re alone. You’ll remember the way he squeezes just right, the way he fits so well, the places he hits with no hesitation nor guesswork. It’s pure experience strangling you with passion and you don’t even know how to embrace it all.
But then you start to feel it. Your breath tapering. It’s getting harder and harder to suck in air and you’re starting to see stars across your eyes. 
When you reach an alarming point, you quickly slap his leg twice, oxygen gushing into your lungs right as he lets go. 
You almost come on that exhilaration alone. Adrenaline pumps pumps pumps into your veins, eyes blowing black as he spins you around.
Hot, open mouth kisses pepper your burning throat, and you have the nerve to catapult him all the way back onto the bed. 
Yoongi lets you top him with a laugh, and you immediately use this opportunity to pin him down with a chokehold. Wanting him to feel the same way you just did. Knowing deep in your soul that he wants it, too.
“Cute.”
“You asshole.” 
Holy fuck, you can’t even recognize your own voice. It’s hoarse. It’s rugged. 
It’s salacious.
He cocks a brow while peering down his nose. “You done?”
“What?” You blink. Slowly releasing his neck, you admit with a rasp, “No, that’s not what I.. I’m not done with you.” 
Yoongi slides into a smirk, and you attempt to scoff with a burning throat. 
You wanna tell him how good he is. How stupidly attentive he is. But all you settle for is something neutral. Safe. And maybe a little forward. 
“Just felt like calling you that.” 
Yoongi’s smile mellows into a line, and if you weren’t in such an evocative position, you would have thought it was genuine contemplation. But he slides hands up your thighs before slapping the side of your ass. “Get on.” 
Fuck. You don’t really know how. At least, you don’t know how to do it without showing him you aren’t used to it. 
So the confidence will keep getting faked. With a little help of your quick wit and tongue as you grab his length. “Didn’t hear a please.” 
Yoongi huffs out amusement. “I don’t say that.” 
His tip goes in fine. Fuck. Okay. You can do this you can do this. “Why am I not surprised—!” 
He shoves you down as soon as you give him enough leeway, and you groan out as you catch yourself with hands on his chest. 
“This is where you’re gonna live,” he says with confidence, laughing in condescension when you scowl. “Fuckin’ love it.” 
He can’t say stuff like that. 
You ride until you find a rhythm, rolling your body and finding the friction you want. It’s there for the taking. And he’s encouraging you with gravelly words and hums, with hands up your stomach and grasping your chest. 
After a single swirl of your hips, he throws his bed back until his neck strains. “Fuck.”
So you take that cue, rotating between rides and swirls. When he tweaks and rolls thumbs around your nipples, you clench hard around him, and he does it until you moan to the ceiling. 
A slap to your breast makes you whine, and you keep going before leaning forward, placing hands against his shoulders and bouncing your hips on his cock. 
“—a fucking natural,” Yoongi praises, chuckling to himself as he toys with the silk streaming down your neck. 
“Maybe I’ve just practiced.” 
“Show me more then.” 
Quickly, he tugs you down flush against him before grabbing your ass, slamming you down and pistoning up until you scream.
You start biting his shoulder to quell your shouts, which makes him moan loud enough to make you possessive. Wildly possessive. Before long, you feel yourself going limp on him, only for him, solely for his pleasure and yours. 
“Just like that. There you go.” 
You mewl into his skin as he grabs you, holding you down as he slams into you again and again and again. Drunk with power, you begin to mark his throat, devouring and feasting with reckless abandon.
Growling ragged, Yoongi flips your position and pins you face down, shoving up hard into your cunt before plowing. You fully lean into the yells now, saying his name and inching over the goddamn edge of the bed.
It’s there. Your release. It’s potent and it’s visceral and it’s everything you need need need—
“Yoongi, I’m close—”
He penetrates so far that you can taste him, and you come so harshly that you convulse. Squeezing like hell and quivering in a full body fold.
Holy shit, the screams. Is that you? 
The sinister laughs of pride prove you right. “That’s my girl. Fucking scream.”
You can’t stop. All you know is extreme pleasure coursing through your veins, pulsing beautiful colors and making you arch like mad. 
But you have more to handle. Yoongi prolongs your euphoria by yanking you back only to sink into you again, hands rubbing both nipples and tongue speaking deadly sins in your ear.
“You aren’t done,” he growls. “Lemme hear you again.” 
“I can’t—”
“Liar.”
His name rips from your mouth as you surprise yourself, gushing around his length and squeezing in powerful pulses. Nothing exists. Nothing at all. Everything you know is a feeling, as vibrant and shimmering as the sun above your street back home. 
All the heat you’ve ever felt coalesces along your skin, and the words whispered in your ear slide right down with your sweat. You aren’t quite sure what you hear. But judging by your preening, it has to be praise. Dirty, dirty, sinful praise. 
When your limp weight is flipped, you allow your legs to be hoisted up with no resistance. Looking upward, you peel open lids to the equivalent of a king. A god. And your outright awe blocks your ears from catching what your dragon swears. 
“—perfect,” he grits, inserting himself into your squelching folds. “Again.” 
No fucking way you have more left in you. You’re already floating in the ether, buzzing in pleasure and sweat and ecstasy. If you come one more time you’ll be an empty shell. 
“Earn it,” you boldly rasp out, grappling a bit of your spirit and reining it back one last time. “Take it, you bi—”
Your heart leaps up your throat as you’re pitched upward, groan serrated and high as you grin in triumph because it feels so fucking rewarding when he gives gives gives. 
Letting everything go relaxes your folds, causing Yoongi to rock into you with pride and without resistance. His chain smacks against his pecs at the same pace as your bouncing chest, and you’re more than sure you’re gonna feel bruises on your legs where he sinks his claws.
Skin slapping skin. Mewls and gritted curses. Heady scent covers them all in a thick layer and you feel the light grow closer and closer, stronger this time than all the others before it. Why? Why do you know this one will pitch you over the edge for good? 
Both of you may feel the same. 
Because Yoongi suddenly shoves himself so far into you and presses his body flush against your shuddering shaking screaming form.
You pulse frantically around him, throat sore and ragged from your final cry as tears stream down your face. It feels so fucking gorgeous that it hurts, and you enter a plane so mystical it’s completely separate from your earthly vessel. The two of you become closer than one, and you feel Yoongi stutter in his groan before yanking out and ripping the condom off.
Hot spurts paint your skin—a sweaty, spent canvas that dips slow with your labored breaths. His own breathing is rough but not exhausted, and you chalk that up to the mountain of stamina and experience he has on you. 
It’s done. 
Thoroughly spent.
All the pent up emotions dissipate in a slow descent. The chaos of today finally lowers its head, your monsters making their ways back into their cages. Moonlight shines brighter. Fuller. 
Illuminating a man in silver as he slowly heads into the bathroom. 
Holy fuck. You just slept with a gangster. With a Dragon.
With Yoongi.
There’s no way you can forget this. No way you can see yourself moving past this moment, even years and lifetimes from now. It doesn’t matter if Yoongi never thinks about you again, because something transpired in this room that you’ll keep locked away in your soul forever. 
As he brings back a towel to wipe his essence from your skin, you wonder. 
Was it all worth it? 
Or will this torture you in every dream you’ll ever have? 
A palm digs into the mattress before you feel weight and jewelry. The silk around your throat is carefully undone, and lazy, heated lips descend on your neck once more.
Bliss.
Sighing, you utter his name much softer now, telling him please without knowing what for. 
“What do you want,” he whispers.
“I don’t know,” you admit in a wisp. 
Yoongi keeps worshipping your throat, and you mewl when he reaches to rub your breast in a slow squeeze. When you drag your hand down to grip his cock, he tenses with a gritty hum. 
“Careful, love,” he rumbles. “There’s a lot more I can do with you.” 
“Tell me.” Your breath starts shorting in anticipation. “Tell me everything.” 
“Nah.” When he slides forward, the bare tip of him meets your cunt, causing you to flinch with a bitten lip. “You’re just gonna have to wonder. Day, after day, after day.”
Fuck this guy with the spite of a thousand lives. You’re the one holding his cock, so how the fuck is he still being this sure of himself? 
“Put it in,” you blurt, earning his gaze of utter confusion. 
“What?” 
“Just for a second.” You stroke him, feeling slick velvet and wetness coating your fingers. “That’s the last thing I want.” 
His eyes search yours, and for the first time tonight, he’s the one that looks hesitant. “You sure…?” 
“We’ll never do this again,” you whisper. “And I know you want it, too.” 
His gaze holds yours for a moment, searching your eyes for any sense of doubt. 
When he finds none, Yoongi positions himself at your entrance, and you feel his knuckles brush your folds before he sinks in. Slowly, cautiously, extraordinarily. 
And both of you groan so full. 
“Fuck,” Yoongi glowers, teeth sharp as he grounds them hard. His arm veins strain, shifting all his ink in pretty ebbs and flows. All his stomach snaps taut, and you can’t look away from his sheer look of concentration and lust. “Fuck.” 
“Feels so good,” you gasp, enjoying the way he’s slowly grinding against your walls. All the slick from your releases allows smooth strokes, and you already feel close for yet another time. An unbelievable amount of orgasm in such a short span. You’ll never reach this peak. Not with anyone else. “What the fuck, I’m close again—”
“Shit—”
It happens in a snap. But more of a mellowed, drawn-out river flow than a full waterfall. Your eyes slowly roll before closing, and your chest arches slow as you rock back and forth on his cock. The squeezes are harder. The pulses are fuller. You’re milking him for all he’s worth, like your cunt won’t let go until it’s pumped him dry. 
Which makes Yoongi lose his absolute mind, hissing as he pulls out quick before spilling onto you all over again. Again? 
Holy fuck, again? 
As he groans up above, his eyes are wiped dark completely. Which makes you wonder how you can still see stars embedded inside. 
Was it all worth it? 
You’ve never been more achingly sure.
It’s a long shot to know if he feels the same. And an even longer one for that to truly be the case. 
But it’s okay. 
This is the first, the last, the only time you have. And it was more than you could’ve ever asked for. 
As he falls into the sheets next to you, both of you exhale harsh, hearts pounding and pounding into the bed and to the ceiling. 
You can’t even move. Every single limb is sore from base to tip, and the door looks so, so far away. 
When you whisper his name, you get a little acknowledgement at your side. Gathering all the strength you have left, you whisper, 
“I know this is when I’d be kicked out, but.. I can’t move.” 
The small puff of air you get in return sounds like a yes. But you aren’t sure until Yoongi verbally gives you a real answer, 
“S’ok.” 
All you can do is hum, noticing with a sharp pang that you feel soft towel wipes before the smooth slide of sheets up your bare skin. 
“Just stay on your side.” 
Ah. 
Well. At least you aren’t alone for a night. 
“And you.. Stay on yours,” you murmur, darkness seeping into your peripherals. 
“Mm.”
Yoongi can be as cold and heartless and calculating as he wants. But you know he’s more than what he shows. 
Because with a second sharp hit to the chest, you also realize the side you’re on is the side he was on before. He’s not gonna make you move just to keep his preference. 
Don’t think too much about it. Do not. 
“I wish everything was different,” you whisper, drifting into a dreamless sea. “I don’t want to hate you...” 
Your forehead is swept by a warm hand. You cannot lift your lids any longer, but your ears still hang onto their efforts. 
And the last thing you hear before succumbing to the dark is a lighter flick and a fact. A cold, expected, damning fact. 
“You’ll always hate me.” 
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When you wake, you’re greeted by the same room you fell asleep in. 
Sunlight cuts through grey skies to shine every surface, and you breathe in a musky, comforting scent as you stretch your limbs. 
Did last night really happen? 
The soreness between your bare legs is more than enough to prove so. 
Slowly turning, you whisper to Yoongi that you’re ready to go when he is. 
Only to find out that you’re talking to no one. 
Shit.
Shooting up, you start to panic. Maybe he’s in the living room already? Getting ready to call someone to bring you back home? 
Glancing at the nightstand on his side, you don’t spot the dagger he gifted you, brain grappling with what that could possibly mean. 
Your ribs crackle when you bite back emotion. It’s all over. 
Shifting back to swing your feet onto cold fibers, you pause with swimming eyes. 
Because the blade rests ready on your nightstand, propped on a set of plain clothes in the perfect position you would need it to be.
Teeth clenched and eyes burning, you swipe it before rushing out of bed, head pulsing and a dull ache between your legs. “Fuck..” 
The shirt and pants you’re given don’t exactly fit, but you’ll take what you can get as you punch limbs through long sleeves and high pants. 
Yoongi isn’t here. 
You feel it in your whole being, and you have no fucking clue why it hurts. 
But if he’s not here…
Who do you start to hear outside the door? 
You freeze, lungs expanding as you hold multiple breaths. 
It sounds like talking. But also a myriad of sounds? 
Heading into the bathroom, you silently glide across the floor before swiping up the chopsticks. Because yes, you’re still gonna save them. For defence. For keepsakes. For a grave reminder. 
Tucking them in a pocket, you ready your dagger under your garment, pressing it flat against your skin like you were trained to do. 
Slipping out into the hallway, you hear the sounds clearer. Movement. Slides of furniture. 
What the hell is going on? 
You’re about to retreat back into the room when a man crosses in front of the hall. 
And his hair is strikingly… 
Orange?
As he catches you in his vision, he stops on a dime, hand outstretched in greeting. “Hello!” 
Your step back makes him laugh. But you’re not laughing in the slightest as you question, 
“Where’s.. Where’s Agust?” 
“Gone.” The smile spreading makes you squint. “Need to see him?” 
Your answer is immediate.
“I’d rather die.”
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⟶ what do we feel! | 🥢 join the taglist 🥢 | masterlist
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a/n: alright before i say anything else: use the bathroom after sex, and especially after doing it unprotected!! i normally include it so this is a rare exception. but yes. please use the bathroom after, and practice safe sex always! a/n 2: WHO COULD THAT BE AT THE END THERE... ahahah but seriously, i for one am still swirly eyed just thinking about what's coming for these two.. they have no idea what's in store and i'm itching to get the next part done! a/n 3: if there's something you liked about this or a line/scene/whatever thing you enjoyed, feel free to let me know! feedback is never expected, but always appreciated. if the interest level is high, that adds motivation like no other. thank you all for reading! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ minted masterlist
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whytheylosttheirminds · 1 month ago
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How was the movie??!! What are ur thoughts!!? I wanna see it so bad to support Drew but unfortunately it’s not playing where I am :/
so glad you asked anon bc I have LOTS of thoughts!
• The acting was so good. Literally everyone crushed it (including Drew hehe) and I think that was the strongest part of the movie. Unsung hero was Jason Schwartzman, literally my favorite part of the whole movie he had me giggling every time he was on screen.
• The relationship btwn Lee and Eugene was so captivating and heartbreaking and done so fucking well. I was equally frustrated for both of them (though tragically I relate to Lee a lot more lol) I literally cried in one part because my second hand embarrassment/frustration on Lee’s behalf was so powerful. So much of Drew’s role was based around little micro mannerisms and unspoken responses which I can imagine is hard to do and he did it really well. Daniel Craig, to no one’s surprise, absolutely disappeared into the role and was so good I cried multiple times.
• The sex scenes were gorgeous, so well done and emotional and real (and since I know y’all are wondering - which is fair - yes Drew looked hot as fuck, like angelic levels of beauty actually, and yes we got full frontal lol) their chemistry was so good and made the non-sex scenes so much harder to watch because it’s that universal feeling of knowing someone so deeply in private that you can’t believe they could act so casual in public and it shattered my heart
• the psychedelic stuff was good, my one critique is that I don’t know that the hallucination/dream sequences were married very well with the interpersonal scenes. That being said, the central conflict of queer identity and addiction is not something I personally can relate to (this movie wasn’t really made for me) so it’s possible there are things that went over my head. All in all, every scene was beautiful.
• I feel like I need to read the book and/or educate myself more on the setting and history behind some of it to fully understand, so the parts I didn’t get/like I feel like may be due to my own lack of knowledge.
• there’s one specific scene where Lee shoots heroine that is absolutely stunning and devastating and I couldn’t believe how much time they gave to it (in a good way), if Daniel Craig or Luca win the Oscar it should be for that scene. I cried the whole time.
I definitely recommend seeing it when it comes on streaming 🙂‍↕️ idk if it was the most groundbreaking, life changing movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s very good and worth watching!
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foreseers-flower · 9 days ago
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its okay! trust 🙂‍↕️ i absolutely enjoyed the hell out of your rdr2 posting even tho i knew nothing about it except that its cowboy and arthur is hot, but seeing your posts made me intrigued about the story, it made me feel like i met these characters before and like the story came to life, its truly such a beautiful feeling that you evoke when posting about things you’re passionate about that even people who don’t get it will start to get it (at least a bit if not a lot) like damn dude you converted me into a john marston fucker and i might play the game soon too haha
so dw about “being annoying” about something you’re passionate about cause we in fang land match each others freaks or at least respect them if we don’t match🫶🫶
i’m sure you’re gonna get many people to download LaDS or at least binge all cards and lore on youtube lol and even if some don’t get the hype then i know that at least they’ll be happy you’re happy about something, (i should know cause i never got into bluelock yet now i somehow know so many characters intimately and start freakingout like “aaa my man!!” whenever i see one of their names on any post lmao)
this is such a sweet and lovely ask anon i will weep real tears at u rn. cowboy and arthur is hot is actually all you need to know about the story but i do genuinely think rdr2 is one of the best games ive ever played bar none and on the story telling aspect i have zero problems doing the pr for it kjsdhfjsd. ALSO SORRY TO CONVERT U TO A JOHN MARSTON WANTER BUT THAT SCUMBAG IS RATHER SEXY
its reassuring to hear this!!! i yap so often and so much in general i think even if it was annoying there's not a real way for me to stop i need to say whats on my mind or ill die. but i feel bad when i subject people to a NEW media bc it feels like it genuinely consumes me for a bit and it makes me unwell
ive had so many people say they downloaded it bc of me and i was like !!!!!! i dont go here like that yet even but it was like,, quite heartwarming to me. the lore is actually continuously more interesting then i expect 💀💀 like i will give credit where its due i actually quite like the story!! it feels like watching a tv drana un a good way.
I LOVE TO HEAR THAT ABOUT BLUELOCK THO ALWAYS!!!!! YOUR MAN FR!!!!!! love them so bad
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domjaehyun · 2 months ago
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I agree w you girl jaemin cannot easily be dethroned in my world..something about him having both a kind and a menacing smile at the exact same time...i need to be manipulated by this man RIGHT NEOW. Also your more mysterious-dubious-thrilling-unhinged fics scratch a corner of my brain like no other so asking with NO PRESSURE AT ALL just a loving curiosity are there any of the sort of the list? 🎀
i am deeply and madly in love w jaemin 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ he’s soooooo sexy and unhinged I NEED HIM!!!!!! OMG IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM
my response ended up being lowkey v long i got a lil very carried away….. under the cut 🧌
fun fact whenever i post a dubious/dark fic i actually. just do not check the app afterwards for like 2-5 days (sometimes it depends on the dubious level of the fic and also how busy i am in my life LMAO) bc i get anxious 😭😭😭
they scratch an itch in my brain too fr but i fear i can tell that i’m still holding back :p bc ppl can be . So Gosh Darn Horrid and i’m always on edge like lowkey on the defensive abt posting dark content bc . ppl are very very judgmental :/ awks right :/
but yeah back to my point i def held back in pl4yg1rl is live and also in there’s a stranger in my house 😭😭😭 not to copy dr martin luther king or anything but i also do indeed have a dream !!!!!! that one day i will post one fic or two or seven perhaps of my wildest fantasies *dreamy sigh* it’s just that when i write dubcon/noncon, i like them. Evil and Manipulative and Sleazy and Perverted and most ppl prob aren’t rocking w my vision idt… yknow?
also while i’m at it i loooooooooooooove when dubcon/noncon is like. like the aggressor is lowkey a pleasure dom 😋 like they get off on making the target/victim cum over and over and over even if they struggle and cry and scream 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ but no violence!!! no mean words!!!!!!!! well maybe some 🤔🤔 hehe 🤭🤭
AND FINALLY TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION i have a noncon johnny fic coming out hopefully soon not this month though :P and i’m ruminating on ghostface!jaemin (to the anon that asked me abt scream a while ago I STILL HAVENT WATCHED BUT I WILL) and that’d def give stalker dark vibes but tbh i don’t think that fic’ll be that dark…… if you want dark, i’d say stay tuned for the johnny fic i’m working on!!
also while i’m saying things i feel the need to mention that at one point like at least 3-4 years ago, i was contemplating making a side blog for dark content but alas. Too Much Work… but i still have the note in my notes app of most of my ideas *dreamy sigh* maybe one day? prob not though at least not on the side blog but i had designed it and set it up and everything but then i went …Nah… bc my attention span and motivation had both run out :p and i ran outta steam :p too bad so sad (not sarcasm at all. i do wish i would’ve played around w that idea more … now i have virtually no time ☹️☹️☹️)
if i were to consider doing another dark fic, who would you wanna read abt? reminder that i only write for haechan, jaemin, jaehyun, mark, johnny, and jeno!! (sorry jungwoo i’ll be back pooksters)
OKAY IM DONE if you read this far teehee hi 👋 have a great day stay hydrated i care abt you 💖
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normalgirlatron · 2 months ago
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would love to see u rank the units (+ explain your reasoning) !!
OH THIS IS GOOD
1. mmj of course! i love them so much because their personalities are so fun and vibrant and i think their relationships are really sweet :3 plus their designs are all so cute. i actually kept seeing mnhr art so theyre why i ended up checking them out and then shizuku was really funny to me so i stayed and i just love them all so much now 🤞 plus their voices are so nice. shizuku’s especially HER COVER OF MILK CROWN ON SONECHKA😭💜 so good. haruka’s of shoujo rei? life-changing. newly edgy idols is also such a cute debut song AND happy halloween is such a good cover that it’s perfect to listen to year-round. like what’s not to love about that. and also, since i was previously into vocaloid before playing pjsk, i knew a lot of songs and mmj sings a lot of the ones that i really loved already!!!! so it was basically predetermined that i’d love their music i guess! omg i could say so much more about them but i have to talk about other groups so ill be quiet about them now LOL
2. leo/need !!! saki is really cute and shiho looked like a masc lesbian to me i’m ngl that’s literally why i tuned in. then i realized shiho is shizuku’s younger sister so i looked into them even more LOL their music is definitely my thing, i love rock and the kinds of vocaloid they sing so i was drawn to that for sure. their designs are really pleasing too and as i’ve read more of their stories, i find their dynamics and general story really interesting too! they all have such strong personalities that go well together so it makes for a very entertaining story. it’s kinda hard not to love them
3. wonderlands x showtime 🙂‍↕️ they are SOOO FUNNY i absolutely get why theyre so popular. emu is literally so funny i love her so much. and tsukasa is also really funny but he’s really caring too and his relationships with others despite his shortcomings are so sweet. him and saki are so compelling to me like wow… the tenmas 🙁💝… also nene is rlly cute idk i don’t have much to say on that but i have always found her design so cute and her voice is like GORGEOUS can we talk about that. nene’s voice is so BEAUTIFUL… and rui also has a really pleasing voice!!!! i don’t have many thoughts on him to be honest but he’s cool ^^ since theyre so entertaining and light-hearted yet maintain interesting drama, it’s fun to read their stories!! plus when im in an upbeat mood their songs are perfect to play sooo LOL theyre just awesome
4. nightcord! they were my first group and i do still love them and find them incredibly compelling and special but i dont pay attention to them very much. i appreciate them a lot but i really dont have much to say. although they do sing a lot of the vocaloid songs that i used to love a couple years ago so i play their songs a LOT like definitely the most out of everyone else’s. i think its kind of basic but mizuki might be my fav. mafuyu used to be my fav though!
5. vbs 😭 i hate akito so much. vbs used to be one of my fav groups but akito is such a dozen and a jerk and a terrible brother and person that it knocked the whole group to last place. i’m so sorry anhn i love you sooo much but GODDAMN!!!! akito sucks. toya is okay though, he doesn’t interest me a lot but he’s got a good personality. an is so cute and kohane is too i’m so glad that all of mmj are like besties with those two because i can still see them a lot without reading vbs stuff 🙏🙏🙏 i also have to say vbs doesn’t appeal to me much music wise so that’s another factor as to why theyre not one of my favs anymore
i’m not ranking the virtual singers bc theyre not quite a group but i love them and theyre soo cool. i think my fav designs for all of them might be n25’s! and my fav vocaloid isn’t in the game but i love gumi :)
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cazluvsu · 4 months ago
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hello. celtics-bengals anon here.
that one... hurt. probably the most, because i had hope after that fumble. if there hadn't been the fumble actually, it might've been better. but our horrible awful defense did it! and i understand running it, to not risk another interception and all -but to lose on a missed field goal!
it wasn't even evan's fault. just... damn, football sucks. i'll still watch next week, but at this rate, even a win against the giants isn't guaranteed. frustrating because they ARE better than 1-4 and if they were a little bit luckier, they would be 2-3 or even better, but. 1-4 is where they stand. depressing.
at least the celtics blew out the nuggets, even if it's still the preseason. yay.
hello . again 😞😞 much yapping under the cut
yeah that was so fucking devastating lmfao. not a great day for me personally (bills lost in Also devastating fashion!!)
i’ll just explain my entire day Teehee sorry for using ur asks to rant every week atp but i enjoy them keep asking 🤗🤗 when the bengals win A game we can celebrate together 🤞
i go to work. work sucks! sometimes if it’s slow i can watch red zone or something else but nope! i end up staying later than i was supposed to and by the time i get to drive home i am Devastated bc 1 im tired lol and 2 i didn’t get to watch Any of the bills game!!! and i wanted to watch it so bad!!!!! and there was no way for me to go back and watch it bc i don’t live in buffalo or Houston so i don’t get the game in my area. So starting off strong. but. !! i get home and i realize the bills game actually was broadcast to me!! and it all recorded!!!! i could watch the entire game lfg!!!!!!!! so i do!!! i didn’tlook at my phone at all to get spoilers, it looks rough at the beginning but the bills come back and tie it with some luck!!! and then they fucking lose!!!!!! so i am already sad. i go on twitter as the start of the bengals ot starts playing bc that’s just. what records after the game is over i guess. i’m like Oh let’s see if the other team i am emotionally invested in can win and make me less sad!! and it looks like all is well with that fumble!! and they drive into evan’s fg range and the commentators are saying all these stats about how he’s perfect from 50+ this season, he has 14 straight made fgs in the 4th/ot, life seems great!!!!!! and then he misses 😀😀😀😀😀😀 watching the replay of the holder drop the ball literally killed me and then that run by henry immediately after (ptsd from the bills game last week lmfao) was just great ☺️☺️ so. Yeah it’s all devastating and football sucks i am never watching a game again (lie)
i completely agree it’s so much more frustrating when u Know they are much better than their record. they were right there in every game they’ve lost!!!! if their offense looked how it did in every other game Besides that first pats game, that’s a W. the ja’marr penalty in the chiefs game (horrible. i hate it. i hate thinking about it. Anyways! ). the commanders game. Literally did not punt!!! but the defense!!!!!! their offense is great like everyone predicted and it’s So frustrating when they can’t do anything but watch as the defense gives up points in crucial moments. Ugh.
and yeah it is still early (ish) in the season but when they’ve had the same issues in every game it makes it hard to believe they’ll really get that much better to propel them to the playoffs or like. A winning record. but what can u do 😕😕
the celtics will always be the light through the darkness 🙂‍↕️ (i forgot they played today) hope ur doing well tho anon 🫂🫂
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jayflrt · 6 months ago
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🎀 update since it’s been a while
haiiiii i haven’t been on tumblr in 5ever. i feel like im only ever on here now when u update LMAO. speaking of LIVING for jay/yn. it’s AMAZE. i’m also every excited for the next update. but anywho how have you been! we haven’t spoke in forever i really can’t remember what my last update was abt so im just gonna skim thru things!
like since the start of this year ive been SUPERERRR into f1 so i made a podcast! (podcast in question is my cf on my spam account 🥸) 😅😅 i’ve always liked it because my brother did but i’ve gotten more into it. i also took a listen to romance untold and it’s SO good my favs r defff moonstruck and royalty 🔥.
lowk this summer has been chill like any other. i went to a couple parties with my friends but then after that not much happened. there’s no guy updates bc unfortunately my life is no longer a wattpad story because that was very hard on my emotions 😅😅. i’ve lowk sworn off relationships for a while. obviously not completely but i don’t know recently a friend pointed out to me that whenever im in one its very tolling on my emotions and it’s not good so i don’t want that to happened again. i was also just not in a good place when arsal/cameron/marcus happened. REST ASSURED I AM BETTER NOW!!! #weUP
about my friends it’s going nice! we’re kinda doing our own thing since it’s the summer however one of them, m (i think i name drop too comfortably on here), recently started talking (ish) to a guy and she’s kinda obsessed with him. like it’s in a weird way in where she full blown cancelled plans that we made like 5 days prior just bc she had last minute plans with him so 😃😃😃😃 i’m so happy for her!! (NOT). i have to be honest there’s nothing wrong with him other than the fact he looks like he SNUCK ONTO EARTH WHEN THEY FIRST WALKED ON THE MOON. so 🤗🤗🤗🤗
i have been writing a LOT more recently. like not even just because it’s kpop i don’t know i get the inspiration to write and just open a google docs document. like for instance one of them the plot is mc breaks up with sunghoon and becomes closer to heeseung but plot twist! they’re in a band and there’s DRAMAA 🔥🔥🔥. and then another one is where mc and jake r ENEMIES bc her dog tried impregnating jake’s dog at a dog park 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥. one of them is a sunghoon fic that’s heavily inspired by cmbyn (MINUS THE GROOMING) the other is a jay prank call au where he calls her bc he remembers his highschool sweetheart and she doesn’t even spare him a thought 🔥🔥🔥🔥. there’s a single dad sunghoon au somewhere in there. MY GOOGLE DOCS IS COOKING.
however i don’t think i could ever post it to tumblr. maybe one day when anyone is interested ill send in a little snippet of one of them 🤗 or dm u one of them and reveal my identity 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮. but i don’t know! i’ve tried writing on tumblr before but i was in highschool when i tried soooooo. i also think that im just too busy. maybe one day when im not so busy 🔥.
but yeah that’s really it 🤗🤗. but update me if anything cool is happening in ur life. r YOU having a hot girl summer. i also think u said you went on a trip recently (?) IDK. but pleeeekkk update me - 🎀
hihi 🎀 anon !! omg please i'm honored you're sticking around to update me 🥹 they're MUCH appreciated i love reading them <3 and thank you sm for tuning into yfi786 🥰🥰
omg i have a few friends who are super into f1 too!! the races look like they must be so fun to go to :') YKWW the close friends story podcast is always sm more fun to tune into than an actual podcast 🙂‍↕️ my fav rn is brought the heat back it's just been playing in my head 24/7 and that vocal run from jay hello!!!! moonstruck and royalty are SO good though they're definitely up there for me too
i'm glad your summer's been chill !! it's always nice to just have time to unwind before getting back to the uni grind 🥲 honestly relationships/situationships can take so much out of you mentally so i'm glad you don't have to feel that way anymore!! and im glad you get to spend the summer with your friends 💗
OMG NOOOO YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO RUN FOR THE HILLS 😭 why would she cancel your guys plans like that?? LMFAOOO PLS we're always losing an angel to an ugly man 😞💔 no that's so upsetting tho :( i hope she gets over him he's not worth cancelling plans with friends over!!!!
omg wait SLAY 😌 the rush of writing inspiration always feels so so good and i hope it lasts a long time for you!!! HELP NOT THE DOGS MATING AT THE PARK 😭 but okay i see you grinding through those plots!!! 🔥 the google drive is being FED and oml if you ever feel like sharing,, my asks are open 🤭 also yeah that makes sense!! i don't bother with aesthetics because it's just sooo time consuming,, like don't get me wrong i'd love to have a super cute theme and stuff but it's def a lot of work :')
omg yes i went on a little trip with my friends :')) we did that thing where we pulled our vacation plan out of a hat LMFAO but it was fun!! i'm very sick of flying tho! 🫤 NO hot girl summer just hot corporate slave summer 😩 i have been trying to pick up new hobbies though because i just dropped my habit of doomscrolling on tiktok 🤧
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velvetyh · 3 months ago
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it’s meiiii
oh! that sounds SOOO nice, i’m glad that you’re back in your hometown, chilling for a few days. hope that you’re enjoying your time <33 you deserve it !
no like, i get what you mean. i HATE these kind of situations SO much bc it lowkey feels like you need to idk… “sacrifice” something. like, you like the job itself but your colleagues not so much (or at all), so it’s like - you either let go of the good job in order to keep your peace of mind OR you tolerate ugly people so you can keep the good job… sigh…
i can’t only pray for you and hope that some clarity gets send to you. and you should know that whatever decision you take, it's okay, it's the right one - don't regret it, don't look back and think "i should have...", no, you took a decision that, at the time you did, you believed was the right one ! that’s it, don’t look further into it. and remember, sometimes we must let go of certain things, of certain opportunities, close a few doors so new ones can open ! believe in yourself, babe. you got this <3
GIRL be so fr, you’re talking to someone with a PhD in yapping lmaooo we should probably use messages more often so we actually gossip about our lives and so 🙂‍↕️
i knowwwww, tumblr has become SOOO demotivating ))’: like… almost no one interacts any more, very few people reblog and leave tags commenting on your posts, it is so sad actually.
also, i’d love for you to give me an honest (not brutal, just honest😔) review on my last cobtober chap cause’ i actually lowkey hated the result… and it just made me want to never again write “sub” jacob, like ever 😭 ITS JUST NOT FOR ME
thank you so much, you’re so sweet ily :( i’m also grateful to be back home but it’s so hard to stay only a week there 🥹
im trying to chill but with my dad around, its not that easy :// but i try nonetheless!!
yeah, i really feel like i need to choose between having a good job and shitty colleagues or nice colleagues and a shitty job… plus if you switch jobs to another company, hoping for change, you never know if it’s going to be better, or worse. my current colleagues are nice (most of them), but i know they wouldn’t hesitate to stab me in the back if it could get them a promotion or appear nice to the boss. so i just stay professional and distant, but then i get remarks that im not opening up enough to my colleagues and i don’t want to integrate myself in the team. im not going to give weapons to my "enemies" to stab me!!
it’s really sweet of you to keep me in your prayers, it really means a lot to me 🫶🏼🥺 it’s hard for me to have some clear-headedness in this cloudy part of my life, i play it by ear and it’s really not that easy when you have very various opinions around you, telling you to do this and that or no wait, do this and that instead.
your words really mean the world to me :( i made some decisions in the past that made me doubt myself and i still feel guilty about them today… thank you, really 🫶🏼
i love how easy it is to talk to you, youre so sweet and i love getting messages from you !! we should totally message more sissldfjsns id really love to!
yeah, it’s so sad how tumblr has become a ghosted place… i know i didn't help the cause bc i kinda disappeared for a year bc of writer’s block but i hadn't expected the place to be this deserted lol
i know i said id give you feedback on your project yesterday (im so sorry i haven't said anything yet) but my mom dragged me to her friend’s house to say hello and i was unable to touch my phone for the day. today im going shopping so when i get back home ill write you an ask about it (honest, not brutal 🫶🏼) so you can choose whether you want to post it or keep it for yourself 🫶🏼
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screampied · 6 months ago
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what other animes do u watch that u recommend other than jjk?💗
-🐙
well 🙂‍↕️ IT DEPENDS bc everyone’s taste is different. i will list some of my favorite animes though.
naruto. trust you gotta watch it. i’m like such a big naruto geek it’s kinda sad 💔 skip the fillers and watch the movies if you want. so many lovable characters. believe me tho, don’t watch boruto. it’s ass. naruto + shippuden is PEAK
jjba. some arcs are very boring especially the first one (in my opinion) BUT U CAN NEVER BE WRONG WITH JOJO
assassination classroom. oh gawd this is such a comfort anime but the ending threw me off ??? cried for days. ITS SO FUN THO i love recommending asclass bc it’s such a silly lil anime 🙂‍↕️
the disastrous life of saiki k. this series is so !!!! another fav comfort anime of mine plus i adore the manga. THE DARK REUNIONNN. i love this anime so much
haikyuu. okay with haikyuu i’m gonna be real sports animes are not my thing plus when i got recommended to watch it i was like “it’s just seasons of guys playing volleyball 🧍” BUT LOOK ITS SO GOOD. i sat down and watched it and didn’t expect to love it sm omg. there’s so many characters to relate / kin plus the manga is >>>>
hunter x hunter. very good anime, very good manga. i feel like im the only person who likes the chimera ant arc? 😭 best arc in my opinion 🙂‍↕️
neon genesis evangelion. JUST WATCH IT
black clover. again, JUST WATCH IT. i’m gonna be honest i only watched for yami 🚶‍♀️
angels of death. SO GOOD. very gory and dark but it’s only one season which sucks. there’s so many twists also !!! i’d also recommend tokyo ghoul because it kinda reminds me of that
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niningtori · 6 months ago
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yay!!! i’m glad ur feeling better!! and getting back to writing after feeling sad always helps me too
U seem so fun to be around I love ur energy saur much. we could sing together omg 🧸 i am always nervous to sing a cappella in front of others so that’s why ive been trying to improve on that too bc pitch perfect changed my life in 2012 idk
i was learning bad boy by red velvet that’s one of my fav songs ever 😭 and the choreo is so addicting to me and it seemed a bit easier than learning a boy group choreo NDNFMSJ i want to eventually learn them too… i think i have the dancing spirits in me. my mom likes to brag she was a dancer back in her day but idk how true that is!
u write lyrics omg >.< we have lots in common. it’s very hard to learn to production all on ur own which is what i’m doing bc im stubborn n want to prove to myself i can do it without help… so don’t be sad that u can’t without a melody! that in itself is good bc it shows u have an ear for music :) i’m learning to produce bc i actually want to be a music producer!!! i wanna work behind the scenes in the music industry for rn i’m still too shy and not as confident to be in the spotlight. my dream is to work in kpop 🙂‍↕️ along with the western artists ofc. ariana grande and kpop really boosted my love for music like i can’t even describe..
it took me a long ass time to actually realize what i wanted to do and it felt very right even tho i haven’t done much to make my own music pls. i’m just scared but im telling myself to affirm that im fearless so i shut up and work!!!! 🐰
thank u angel 😭 u r the sweetest it's such a shame that we r not irl friends :(
and i used to sing rlly well but i had some health issues for a few years so my vocal cords aren't what they used to be unfortunately 😭 i'd still love to sing w u tho!! i'm pretty shy w singing a cappella but my brother plays a lot of instruments so i used to sing w him accompanying me a lot. also that's SO funny bc pitch perfect came out when i was in a choir class i think it changed every young singers' life not even kidding BENSJWJSJSK
also omg i LOVE red velvet... their new title track is so excellent!! i'd love to hear ur progress on learning new dances i find it fascinating even if i could never do it myself. n that's so cute ab ur mom omg u rlly might have the spirit in u !! my mom tried to teach me traditional cultural dances when i was younger but my uncoordinated ass couldn't keep up LMAO
hehe thank u sm 🥹 i wouldn't say i'm a genius lyricist by any stretch of the imagination but i do like writing poems and stuff n i've mentioned it on here before but that's what my original medium was... just poetry... i'd love to publish my poetry book someday w some doodles but alas that dream seems very far away
being a music producer is such a cool dream to have but i 100% believe you can do it!! i think having that goal and actively working towards it is just wonderful n inspiring 😭 and seriously dedicating yourself to it is so admirable to me. when u make it big pls remember nini niningtori n that she believed in u 🫡
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zyafics-recs · 3 months ago
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
i said i was gonna read when u edited and now u given me the signal 🫡 let's see if i'm ready to let go of pretty maybank and rafe <😭3 ⬇️
Some gave you that look—you know, the one that said, “Oh, sweetie, you again?”—while others just shook their heads, probably wondering when you would finally stop playing caretaker and start looking out for yourself.
maniacally scribbling down this sentence into my notes bc i am in love with how it flows?? i have a writer-crush on u bc of the way u string together words so elegantly
Brand new driver’s license, barely knew how to parallel park, and boom, you’re getting woken up at like 2 a.m. because your dad’s been arrested.
don't even know if im gonna to even talk about the story atp but one of my FAVORITE things about ur writing is how u add these little specific details that makes the characters come alive !!!
It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him wasted or bruised up, but this time felt different. This time, it hit you that this was gonna be your life now.
why did this line hit me so deep???
Now, sitting in the small, stuffy waiting room of the sheriff’s department, you glance around, feeling a knot of tension tightening in your stomach, the fluorescent lights doing little to help, making everything appear sterile and unforgiving.
love the word fluorescent lights, could never learn how to spell it without google
JJ’s next to you, his leg bouncing like he’s got caffeine running through his veins instead of blood. You’re already annoyed, and it doesn’t help that Rafe is sitting on your other side, looking just as pissed off.
THIS IS MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY THE DYNAMIC TRIO
"You wanna talk about sisters too?"
the way i went—
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JJ nods, fiddling with his shark tooth necklace, the one you’d given him when he was seven.
u mesh so well with canon events 🩷🙂‍↕️
You glance at the two men beside you, each representing a different part of your world. Your brother stubs out his cigarette, glancing over at Rafe with an exaggerated sigh. He smirks, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
thought this man was gonna be nice and offer rafe a cigarette but i guess wer're not there yet
It’s been a month since the nightmare with your dad, and you’ve pretty much been living at Rafe’s new place ever since. Sure, you’ve got your own house, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Rafe’s apartment though? It’s like your little safe haven now. You don’t officially live there, but who are you kidding? Most of your stuff is in his drawers, he’s stocked the bathroom with all your skincare, hair stuff, even a toothbrush. He tried to go all-out, buying you everything, and you kept telling him to stop, but it’s like talking to a wall. You gave up eventually.
so bf of him
“Anyways,” He rolls his eyes, ignoring the way you tried to cut him off, his hand now lightly squeezing your knee, “You were out there showing off, catching wave after wave. I was so fucking annoyed."
why is this so funny LOLL
“You know, it’s funny. Back then, I thought you were just this arrogant piece of shit who was always trying too hard to fit in.”“That’s so sweet.”
im literally gonna miss them sm 😭
Ward’s expression turns cold once more, but there’s a flicker of something—maybe regret, maybe just a reflection of his anger.
FEARRRR
“Let’s go home." You nod, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah, let’s go home.”
such a cute ending <3
FINAL THOUGHTS • i literally am going to miss them so much, it was such an adventure to read this series (and despite how late it is), and with the new edits, i can just see how much you grown as a writer. it's glorious and im so happy to have been there for the ride! can't wait to read more of ur things and also, how the fuck do u write so fast? i blink and there's 15304 different rafe fics out by you??
THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - seven (finale)
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛" + "def some little smut during the enemies part and a long story"
word count: 6.3k
warnings: last chapter <3
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You’ve been to Kildare County Sheriff’s Department way more times than you care to admit
Being the oldest kid in your family—and somehow the only actual adult—you lost count of how many times you had to drag your dad out of jail between the ages of sixteen and twenty. It felt like a full-time job.
Then there were the countless times you’d been there for your friends. 
JJ, for instance, had been taken in more than once for public disturbances. It was almost a given that he'd end up in that shithole whenever there was a party or some kind of trouble brewing. You knew every officer by name, and they knew you too. Some gave you that look—you know, the one that said, “Oh, sweetie, you again?”—while others just shook their heads, probably wondering when you would finally stop playing caretaker and start looking out for yourself.
But you always showed up, no matter what, because that’s what you did. You took care of your own.
The first time you had to pick up your dad, you were sixteen. Brand new driver’s license, barely knew how to parallel park, and boom, you’re getting woken up at like 2 a.m. because your dad’s been arrested. You were shaking the whole time, gripping the steering wheel like your life depended on it, eyes blurry with tears. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him wasted or bruised up, but this time felt different. This time, it hit you that this was gonna be your life now.
You were stuck.
You remember pulling up to the station, parking all kinds of crooked because your hands wouldn’t stop trembling. You ran inside, still half-asleep, and the officer at the desk gave you this sad little smile. “He’s in the back,” he said, like you didn’t already know.
When you saw your dad slumped over, bruised, and barely awake, something inside you just... cracked. He looked up, and for a second, he recognized you. “Hey, kiddo,” he mumbled, still drunk, still out of it. Back then, there was still some part of him left, some shred of the man he used to be.
You signed the papers, helped him stumble to the car, and drove home in silence while he passed out in the passenger seat. It was the first of so many nights like that. And you knew it wasn’t gonna be the last. When you finally pulled into the driveway, you helped him inside and onto the couch. He mumbled a thank you before passing out, his snores filling the room.
Now, sitting in the small, stuffy waiting room of the sheriff’s department, you glance around, feeling a knot of tension tightening in your stomach, the fluorescent lights doing little to help, making everything appear sterile and unforgiving.
You wish you could be anywhere but here.
JJ’s next to you, his leg bouncing like he’s got caffeine running through his veins instead of blood. You’re already annoyed, and it doesn’t help that Rafe is sitting on your other side, looking just as pissed off.
“Will you stop bouncing your leg JJ?” You grit out, already irritated from waiting longer than an hour.
“Why the fuck did he have to come?” JJ mutters, throwing daggers at Rafe with his eyes.
“JJ, not now.” You put your hand on his arm, trying to keep him from starting something. The last thing you need is another fight.
JJ glares, but his jaw clenches shut. “This is so messed up,” he grumbles.
“Messed up is leaving your sister alone with your drunk piece of shit father.”
“Like I knew he was there, you dumbass?” JJ shoots back, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Maybe stop leaving her alone.”
“Oh, here we go,” you mutter, feeling the tension rise again. The last thing you need right now is for these two to start another fight.
Ever since JJ came back to the mainland only to pick you up from Taneyhill, things had been…tense. It was one thing to talk about you and Rafe, it was a completely different thing to see you together.
You know your brother hates every second of it. 
“Oh, but you wanna talk about drunk pieces of shit? How many times did your daddy bail you out?” 
Rafe’s eyes narrow, his fists clenching, “How many times did you make your sister bail you out, huh?”
"You wanna talk about sisters too?"
You shut your eyes, attempting to ignore the way they’re clawing each other’s throats out with tainted insults. It was a miracle they're standing in the same room without killing each other, but you can only take so much. It’s like they’re about to throw punches, right there in the middle of the sheriff’s office.
"Shut the fuck up Maybank."
“Fuck you, Cameron!” JJ snaps, standing up so fast his chair skids backward, “You think you’re better than us?”
Rafe stands up too, stepping closer to JJ, “Better than you? Yes.”
“Don’t act like you’re doing this for her,” JJ scoffs. “You’ve never helped anyone but yourself, you manipulative asshole.”
“That’s enough,” you snap, standing up and stepping between them, pushing them apart. Your voice is shaking with frustration. “You two are going to shut the fuck up or take this shit outside. It’s nine in the morning. I didn’t get a wink of sleep, and I’m not gonna sit here and hear you two bitch it you.”  
JJ glares at Rafe over your shoulder. “We don’t need this asshole’s help. We can handle it ourselves.”
Rafe sneers. “Handle it? Like you’ve handled everything else?”
Your brother lunges forward, but you push him back, your voice shaking. “Sit your ass down or leave, I’m not going to repeat myself.”
They both just stare at you, their harsh words still hanging in the air of this stuffy room. The tension is almost suffocating, but there's no way you’re letting them keep tearing each other apart. You’re exhausted, emotionally and physically drained. The last thing you need right now is to play mediator between them… again.
Rafe finally sits down, arms crossed, biting his tongue—for your sake, you know. JJ’s sitting too now, still fidgeting like he always does, tapping his fingers against the armrest.
"Look," you say, your voice still firm, "We're here for a reason. Let's just get through this and get out, okay?"
Your brother just grunts, glaring at the wall like it’s personally offended him. Rafe lets out a sigh and gives you the tiniest nod, like a reluctant “fine.” You sit back down, feeling a bit of the weight in your chest ease up. Rafe leans in and gently takes your hand, mouthing, "I’m sorry." You give it a little squeeze—apology accepted, for now.
JJ notices but looks away too quickly for you to read him. You know he’s pissed, but at least for the moment, he’s staying quiet.
The minutes crawl by, each one feeling like forever, and finally, a cop shows up at the door, calling your name. The three of you stand up at the same time, and Rafe and JJ follow behind you, silent but close, as you walk down the hallway.
The clanging of barred doors shutting behind you makes your stomach twist, and you eventually end up in a small interrogation room. The officer gestures to a chair, "Take a seat." He heads off to get paperwork, and you glance at Rafe, who’s watching you like he’s afraid you might disappear. You know he won’t relax until your dad is completely out of the picture.
Your brother, on the other hand, leans against the wall with crossed arms, a brooding expression on his face. He's always been protective, even if his way of showing it often led to clashes with others. You wish things could be different.
Officer Malcom comes back with a stack of papers, but before you can even look at them, Rafe’s lawyer, Mr. Johnson, walks in. Rafe's had him on speed dial since the whole mess started, and honestly, he's been a lifesaver. He sits beside you, reviewing the papers calmly, and just having him there makes everything feel a little less scary.
“Alright, folks, let's go through this step by step. The first form here is the petition for a temporary restraining order. It outlines the incidents and reasons for seeking protection.”
“Are these incidents documented with the sherrif’s office?” Mr. Johnson's expertise is evident in the way he examines the document meticulously.
“Yes, sir. We have reports dating back to—" Officer Malcom stops for a second, checking the data, “About eight years ago, give or take.”
Rafe’s head snaps in your direction, brows furrowed, clearly pissed off that this has been going on for that long without anyone doing anything. You try to ignore it, focusing on the papers in front of you instead.
“What happens after I file this?
“Once filed, a judge will review the petition. If approved, a temporary restraining order will be issued, usually effective immediately. Then, there'll be a hearing within a few weeks to determine if a permanent order is necessary.”
“What if he doesn't abide by the temporary order?” 
The officer only nods sympathetically. “Violating a restraining order is a criminal offense. He could face fines, jail time, or both.”
Rafe’s still looking at you, “Does she have to serve him personally with these papers?”
“It’s crucial that he’s officially notified. We handle that part, though.”
Rafe’s lawyer is taking notes when he speaks up again, “If he contests the order, he’ll have the opportunity to present his side at the hearing. Both parties can bring witnesses or evidence. But based on your father’s behavior, that’s unlikely.”
You hope to God he doesn’t. The thought of seeing him again makes you feel like you might throw up. You take a deep breath, hands itching to twirl a piece of your hair.
“How long does the process usually take?”
You feel a hand touch your shoulder, gently tightening the grip around the skin, you don’t have to look back to know it’s Rafe. By now you know the lines and the ridges of his hands as if they are your own.
"The timeline can vary, but typically, from filing to the hearing, it might take a few weeks. It depends on the court's schedule and any potential delays."
You nod, absorbing the information while trying to steady your breathing. None of this feels real. Not the legal stuff, not the fact that this could actually be over soon. As the conversation continues, Mr. Johnson outlines the next steps clearly, discussing what will happen during and after the hearing. 
The officer quickly gathers the papers in his hands, “I’ll get everything started then. Just a moment.”
As he leaves to process the paperwork, a brief silence settles over the room. You exchange glances with JJ and Rafe, both of them entirely too interested of the concrete floor. 
“This is the right thing to do, right?”
You know it is. You’ve known for years, but it’s still hard to understand how it came to this. Your life could’ve been so different. 
JJ nods, fiddling with his shark tooth necklace, the one you’d given him when he was seven. “Yeah. He shouldn’t be able to just...” He trails off shaking his head.
Rafe squeezes your shoulder once more, then lowers himself to your level and plants a quick peck on your temple, “You’ve got this. It’ll be okay.”
Mr. Johnson finally puts his pen away, turning to you, “I’ll stay on top of the filings and keep you updated on any developments.”
This moment is a culmination of years of struggle. It's daunting, but you’re not alone. 
 "Thank you.”
JJ shifts his weight, his agitation visible. "I hate this," he mutters. 
"I know," you reply, not knowing what else to say.
The door swings open again, and Officer Malcom re-enters, holding a stack of papers. "Alright," he says, handing you a pen. "Just sign here, and we'll get this process started."
You take the pen with shaky hands, knowing there’s no going back after this. As you sign your name, you can't help but sigh in relief.
This is a step towards freedom.
Rafe watches you intently, his eyes full of concern. He reaches out, placing a hand on your back, a little reminder that he's here for you. JJ stands close by, his protective instincts on high alert.
After you finish signing, Officer Malcom takes the papers and gives you a reassuring nod. "We'll take care of the rest. You should hear from us soon about the next steps."
You stand up, feeling a little lighter, but the emotional toll of the day still kicks your ass. As you make your way out of the room, Rafe keeps a steady hand on your back, guiding you.
Once outside, the morning sun feels almost blinding after the harsh fluorescent lights of the station. JJ immediately lights a cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling with a sigh. 
Rafe looks at you, his expression softening. "You're good?"
You nod, managing a small smile. "Yeah, I think so. Thank you for being here, both of you."
JJ smirks, though there's a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Where else would I be?”
You glance at the two men beside you, each representing a different part of your world. Your brother stubs out his cigarette, glancing over at Rafe with an exaggerated sigh. He smirks, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
“Gotta admit, I never thought I'd see the day when 'Rafe the Retch' would be helping us out.”
A laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it, but you quickly cover it up, turning it into a cough. You’d forgotten about that one.
Rafe’s eyebrows shoot up. “'Rafe the Retch'? Seriously, what the fuck?”
“Ask her,” JJ nods in your direction.
“You called me that shit?”
You bite your lip, “To be fair, I called you worse things.”
Rfe tilts his head, hands on his hips, “Like what?”
“You don’t want to know.”
The three of you start walking toward the parking lot, as you reach the cars, JJ pulls you into a quick, tight hug. “We’re gonna get through this,” he murmurs, his voice filled with determination. 
You hug him back, “I know, Jay.”
Rafe stands a few feet away, watching the exchange with a thoughtful expression. When your brother finally lets you go, he steps closer, “Ready to go?”
JJ looks at you, the concern in his eyes clear. "I gotta head to work. Do you want a ride home? It's on the way.”
You glance at Rafe, then back at JJ, sensing his reluctance. “No but thank you.”
JJ’s shoulders tense, but he nods, trying to hide his disappointment. "Alright. Just... call me if you need anything, okay?"
You smile, appreciating his concern. "I will. Drive safe."
He nods again, glancing one more time at Rafe before getting into his truck and driving off. You watch him go, knowing that things are still far from being okay between the two of you.
You know he’s never going to change his opinion about Rafe, maybe not until he witnesses the changes in him, but you hope that one day they’ll find some common ground. It’s a lot to ask from your brother, you know that, and it’s why you never push him. 
“You sure you’re doing okay?”
You nod, leaning into Rafe now that he stands behind you, “Yeah, just a little tired.”
He wraps an arm around your shoulders, guiding you towards his car, “Did you get any sleep last night?”
"Barely," you admit. "Just couldn't stop thinking about today.”
He unlocks the car, opening the passenger door for you. "Well, now that it's done, you can rest. I’ll even put that bullshit show you like.”
You gasp ready to punch him in the shoulder, but by the time you turn he’s already on the other side of the car, “Love Island is not a stupid show!”
He chuckles as he starts the engine. "If you say so.”
“You watch it too.”
“Only because you force me to,” Rafe counters, a playful glint in his eyes.
It’s been a month since the nightmare with your dad, and you’ve pretty much been living at Rafe’s new place ever since. Sure, you’ve got your own house, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Rafe’s apartment though? It’s like your little safe haven now. You don’t officially live there, but who are you kidding? Most of your stuff is in his drawers, he’s stocked the bathroom with all your skincare, hair stuff, even a toothbrush. He tried to go all-out, buying you everything, and you kept telling him to stop, but it’s like talking to a wall. You gave up eventually.
As he pulls out of the parking lot, his hand slides over to grab yours. It’s such a simple thing, but it makes the tight feeling in your chest ease a little. You’re both quiet for most of the drive, but it’s not awkward or anything. It’s actually kind of nice. You never imagined he’d be so...attached. Things between you are still...somewhat undefined, but it definitely feels like a relationship. That thought is pushed to the back of your mind for now. It's just not the right moment to talk about it—not with his father’s trial only weeks away and your own dad still recovering in the hospital.
When you pull up to his apartment, the building feels familiar in a way that makes your stomach flip. He hops out of the car and, as usual, rushes around to open your door for you. It’s such a small thing, but it always makes your heart race.
Once inside, the place feels so different from the craziness of the day. It’s cozy, warm, and just... safe. You kick off your shoes and flop onto the couch, sinking into the cushions.
“Wanna watch your show?” Rafe asks, giving you that half-smile you’ve come to love.
You chuckle, feeling lighter than you have all day. “And you say you don’t love it.”
He grabs the remote and turns on the TV, navigating to the show. As the familiar theme song starts playing, you snuggle closer to him, finding comfort in the routine. It's all trashy drama and ridiculous contestants, but it’s the distraction you desperately need. Rafe’s arm stays around you, like always. But as the episode progresses, your eyelids grow heavy. The events of the day, combined with the sleepless night, catch up to you. You feel yourself drifting off, your head resting against Rafe’s chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm lulling you to sleep.
“Rest, baby,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing whisper. “I’ve got you.”
Next thing you know, you wake up to the smell of something cooking. Blinking your eyes open, you realize Rafe’s in the kitchen, and the living room is dimly lit. A blanket slips off your shoulders as you sit up, and when you look over, he’s already smiling at you.
You’ve seen him smile more times over the past month than all the years you had “known” him combined. It looks good on him, makes him look younger. 
Stretching, you ask, “What’s all this?”
“Dinner. Figured you could use a good meal,” he says casually, like it’s no big deal that he’s cooked for you.
You sneak up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. “Look at you, Chef Rafe.”
Ever since he moved in on his own, he’s been slowly learning how to take care of himself. You’ve caught him watching cooking and deep cleaning videos more times you can count. You find it endearing. It makes your chest ache, in a good way, to watch him slowly turn into his own person, not the Rafe his father shaped him to be.
He chuckles, giving you a quick forehead kiss. “Eat before it gets cold.”
You sit down, and the first bite has you practically moaning. He snorts at your reaction, but you can tell he’s proud of himself. As you eat, though, you notice he seems a little off. His shoulders are tight, and there’s something in his eyes that makes you pause. You reach across the table, placing your hand over his.
"What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Rafe. What’s wrong?”
He hesitates, then sighs. “Got a call from my lawyer. About Ward.”
The mention of his dad sends a chill down your spine. “What about him?”
Rafe’s thumb brushes your knuckles as he looks down. “He wants to talk.”
“Do you want to talk to him?”
Rafe's jaw tightens, and he lets out a slow breath. “Yeah. But every time I’ve tried to stand up to him, it’s backfired."
You squeeze his hand, “He can’t hurt you anymore, you know that, right? You're not the same person you were before," you remind him gently. "You've grown so much, Rafe. You’ve made your own life."
He looks up at you, his gaze softening. The intensity in his eyes is clear—vulnerability, determination, and a deep-seated fear. It's as if he’s silently pleading for your reassurance, for the strength to face his demons.
“You think so?”
It's in the way his eyes become softer when they meet yours, the slight quiver in his lips, the way he holds your hand just a little tighter.
“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“Okay. I…I’ll think about it.”
The two of you finish dinner, the conversation shifting to lighter topic. After cleaning up, you find yourselves back on the couch, the TV playing quietly in the background. 
Everything feels so domestic it pulls at your heartstrings. And it hits you how much you love this, just being here with him.
But you can still feel the tension rolling off him. You turn to him, tracing little patterns on his chest. “You’re still worried, huh?”
He sighs, throwing his head against the cushions, his hand coming up to rest on yours. "Yeah. I’m scared talking to him will pull me back into that dark place.”
You press a kiss to his clothed chest. “You won’t go back there. Not while I’m here.”
He tightens his hold on you, “You know you’re too good for this world. It’s ridiculous.”
You narrow your eyes, “Am not.”
“Yeah, you are, Pretty Maybank.”
There it is. That nickname. “You know that’s so stupid, right?”
He grins, completely unbothered. “You love it.”
You nudge him with your elbow. “I tolerate it.”
He catches your hand, bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss. “Fits you perfectly.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the grin tugging at your lips.
“If you say so.”
His eyes soften as he looks at you, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your hand. “I do.”
“Shup up,” You feel a blush creeping up your cheeks. “Don’t even know how you came up with that shit.”
Rafe laughs, the sound low and rumbling, his hand moving to rub your leg.  “It’s really stupid.”
You raise an eyebrow, teasing. “’Course it is.”
“Remember when we were fourteen, and we were both at the beach for that huge surf competition? You were this cocky, skilled little girl with an ego bigger than the waves.”
“And you were a suck-up mother—"
“Anyways,” He rolls his eyes, ignoring the way you tried to cut him off, his hand now lightly squeezing your knee, “You were out there showing off, catching wave after wave. I was so fucking annoyed."
You raise an eyebrow, giving him a skeptical look. “Oh, so you were secretly in awe of me?”
“Maybe,” he admits with a sheepish grin. “Or maybe I was just bitter because you made me look bad.”
“I made everyone look bad.”
“Okay, Gabriel Medina. You were out there showing off, making everyone watch you like you owned the ocean. All the boys were ogling you, calling you pretty, and you were loving every second of it.”
You smirk, remembering the day. "I was pretty good, wasn’t I?”
“Good?” He snorts, shaking his head as his fingers trail up and down your thigh. “You were more than good, you were unreal.”
"Yeah, yeah, so how does that tie into the nickname?”
“You came out of the water, hair all messy, sand on your skin, but you had this huge smile. One of the boys called you 'Pretty Maybank,' and you just laughed, brushing it off. But I— I guess I remembered it. It fit you.”
You blink, momentarily thrown off, "I...I didn’t know you remembered that."
“You’re kinda hard to forget Maybank.”
Your heart flutters at his words, the sincerity in his voice making it hard to breathe, “Shut up.”
He leans in, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss, his hand cradling the back of your head. It only lasts a few seconds, before you’re pulling away, mumbling against his lips.
 “You know, it’s funny. Back then, I thought you were just this arrogant piece of shit who was always trying too hard to fit in.”
“That’s so sweet.”
You cup his face, brushing your thumbs across his cheeks, “Hmm. You were always showing off, too.”
“Well,” he drawls, pulling you a little closer, his arms wrapping around your waist, “We both grew out of that phase. Mostly.”
“Mostly,” you agree with a grin. “But I guess some things never change.”
“Yeah,” He doesn't take his eyes off your face, “Some things don’t change. 
There’s a brief silence, filled with the quiet sound of the TV and the comfortable presence of each other. His fingers continue to trace patterns on your hand, and you can feel his earlier stress easing if only a little.
“I don’t want to mess this up,” He admits quietly, “With you.”
“We’ve come this far, haven’t we?”
Rafe’s fingers gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, “Yeah, we have.”
“I’ll keep you in check, Cameron.”
He holds you tighter, his breath mingling with yours. “You're too good for me, y’know that?”
You laugh, “I know.”
Before you can react, his fingers are dancing across your sides, tickling you mercilessly. You squeal, wriggling and trying to escape his grasp, but he’s relentless.
"Rafe!” You gasp between fits of laughter.
"Say sorry,” he demands, his fingers still working their magic.
"Never!" you manage to choke out, tears of laughter streaming down your face.
He grins wickedly, the movement driving your tummy insane.
"Wrong answer."
You squirm in his grip, the tickling intensifying. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" you finally relent, breathless and giggling.
Rafe stops, his hands coming to rest on your waist. His grin is triumphant, but there's a softness in his eyes that makes your heart skip a beat. "That's what I thought," he muses, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You catch your breath, still smiling. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be a tough guy, you’re surprisingly good at this domestic stuff."
He chuckles, pulling you closer until you're nestled against him.
"What can I say? You bring out the best in me, Pretty Maybank."
"I like this," you admit softly. "Being here with you, just... us."
"Me too," Rafe murmurs, his hand gently stroking your hair. "Feels right, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, it does.”
⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ
Three weeks later, Rafe finally agrees to visit Ward in prison.
His lawyer arranged the meeting, emphasizing the importance of having this conversation to find closure. Despite your protests, Rafe insisted on doing this alone. Plus, prison's security measures are stringent, and there’s no way you could accompany him inside.
Instead, you’re stuck waiting outside, the anxiety killing you slowly. You're sitting on a bench outside the high-security prison, your foot tapping nervously against the ground.
The sun is blazing, making the wait even more unbearable. You wish you could be in there with him, supporting him. You glance at the ugly building, feeling desperate to get the hell away. Your phone buzzes, snapping you out of your thoughts. It’s a text from JJ.
"how's it going?"
You quickly type back.
"he just went in. kinda losing my mind out here."
"he’ll be okay. devil spawn and all yk".
"not helping???"
"my bad sis, just trying to lighten the mood. seriously though, he's got this."
You sigh, putting your phone down and glancing around the barren surroundings. The high walls and barbed wire of the prison seem to loom even larger now. Time drags on, every minute feels like an hour. You find yourself looking at the entrance every few seconds, hoping to see Rafe walk out.
Inside, Rafe is led through a maze of corridors, the echo of his footsteps bouncing off the cold concrete walls. The guards are stoic, their faces expressionless as they guide him to the visitation room. His heart pounds in his chest, but he forces himself to stay calm, to stay focused. He's going to be just fine.
When he finally walks in the room, he sees Ward already seated, the older man looking surprisingly composed. Of course he'd care about his appearance even when he's locked up. There's a glass partition between them, with phones on either side for communication. Rafe sits down, picking up the phone with a shaky hand. He wishes you were here. 
Ward's eyes are piercing as they lock onto Rafe's. "Look who finally decided to visit," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Took you time, boy."
Rafe takes a deep breath. This is it.
"Only came to tell you something."
Ward raises an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. "Oh? And what's that? That you’re an ungrateful piece of shit?”
Ignore him, your voice echoes in his head. He knew Ward was going to try to get a rise out of him and he hates that it might work.
"I'm done," Rafe says, his voice steady. "You don't control me anymore."
“After everything I've done for you?"
Rafe's grip on the phone tightens. "You didn't do shit for me. You did it for yourself."
Ward leans forward, his eyes narrowing. "You have no idea what you're talking about, boy. You need me."
"No, I don't," Rafe retorts, “No one needs you.”
Ward's eyes flash with anger, but he quickly masks it with a calculating smile. "Is that what you really think, son? That you can just walk away from everything? From me?"
Rafe feels a rush of anger fighting it's way up his throat, but he holds it back, remembering your words. He takes another breath, steadying himself, “I don’t care.”
Ward's smile fades, replaced by a sneer. "You think you're so strong now, don't you? Do you think you can survive out there without my influence? The world is a cruel place, Rafe. You won't last a day. You think that Maybank trash is gonna solve all your problems, huh?”
“You’re not getting under my skin.”
Ward's eyes narrow further, and he leans in closer to the glass, his voice dropping to a whisper. "So, it’s about her now, is it? What makes you think she’ll be any better for you than I was? She doesn’t know you like I do."
Rafe’s temper flares, but he forces himself to stay calm. He can’t take the bait.
"Keep her out of this.”
“You think you’re so righteous, so superior. You’ll need more than just some girl to get you through.”
“I don’t need you,” Rafe insists, his voice firm. “I never did.” 
Ward’s expression turns cold once more, but there’s a flicker of something—maybe regret, maybe just a reflection of his anger. “You can pretend you’re free, but you know I’m not so easily forgotten.”
Rafe takes a deep breath, forcing himself to stay composed. “I don’t need to hear anything else from you. I’m done.”
“You won’t be able to keep her safe.”
He knew the conversation wouldn’t be longer than five minutes.
He stands up abruptly, the phone clattering against the partition as he drops it. He doesn't need to hear Ward any more. He turns his back on his father and walks out of the room, the door clanging shut behind him. As he walks back through the maze of corridors, his thoughts turn to you, knowing you’re outside overthinking and ready to hug the live out of him. 
He’s striding to you the moment he sees you. You're still on the bench, trying to distract yourself with your phone, but it’s no use. You jump up, rushing over to him. You’re always so endearing to him it pains him to know he hurt you so badly over the years.
“You okay?”
Rafe’s arms wrap around you, finally breathing normally. His breath is warm against your ear as he whispers, “Yeah. I’m okay.”
You wrap your arms around him, holding him close as if you can protect him from the Ward’s harshness. “I was going crazy waiting out here.”
“Sorry for making you wait,” Rafe murmurs, his voice muffled against your shoulder. 
“I don’t care,” You pull back slightly, your hands moving to cup his face. Your fingers trace the lines of his jaw, feeling the faint stubble beneath your touch, “You did what you needed to do. And I’m proud of you.”
He smiles a small, tired smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, “Needed to hear that. Thank you.”
You nod, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “For what?” you ask, leaning into him again. “You did great, baby. You stood up to him. That takes so much strength.”
You take his hand, your fingers intertwining with his as you lead him away from the prison. His grip is strong, his palm warm against yours. The two of you walk in silence for a moment, the only sound the gravel crunching beneath your feet. You glance at him, noting the way his shoulders have relaxed a litte.
“I felt it. Like a weight lifting off me. It’s not completely gone, but it’s lighter.”
You stop walking, turning to face him fully. Your free hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. It had grown so much over the past few weeks. “And it��ll keep getting lighter,” you assure him. 
“You think?”
“I know. You’ll keep needing to stand up to him,” you acknowledge, “But it will get easier each time.”
His hand brushes a stray hair from your face, copying your earlier movement. “And you’ll be here with me?”
“Always.”
Rafe’s expression softens, the hard edges smoothed away by the promise in your words. He leans in, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
His lips linger there.
“You really are too good for me,” he murmurs against your skin, the sound blending with the hum of the car engines in the distance.
“I know.”
He pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours. The intensity in his gaze takes your breath away, but it’s a different kind of intensity than you’re used to seeing in him. It’s softer, more open, and entirely focused on you.
“Let’s go home."
You nod, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah, let’s go home.”
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