#i don’t like regular pickles either unless they’re fried

[housecow]

i hate cucumbers. i hate cucumber plants too why is it spikyyyyy

[the-friendliest-freak]

I love your Poppy Playtime art! I was wondering now that chapter 2 is out, is there anything you changed about your headcannons/AU?

Design-wise, I wanna update them a little bit - since Stella’s now been working at the company for a few years I might make her look older, might do the same with Avery, too.

Might add some more muscle to Rich (was somewhat tempted to make him shorter but then he’d get way more Wolverine comparisons then he already does). Might make the shadow cast by his hat darker (I have…an embarrassing amount of Rich art at the moment that I haven’t posted, let me know if anyone wants to see that).

Speaking of headcanons, I was actually surprised by how on-the-mark I was with “When Rich gets incredibly pissed it appears as joviality before slowly turning into outrage”. That…I was not expecting.

In terms of personality interpretations:

Rich has practically been confirmed to be a massive dork with the messages you find in the Rejected Toys Area (I got these from a compilation vid)

Also Avery’s surname might be Fri, either that or “Fri” is short for “Friday”, so the note is actually saying “Lunch with Avery on Friday”. Fun fact: Fri is a German surname, and my head canon surname for Avery was Walkenhorst - a German surname.

Stella…I’m unsure about. I thought she was going to be the one to become Poppy but now I’m not too sure. Future design changes might reflect this, maybe I’ll make her look less like Poppy. I don’t trust her after reading what she did, though my headcanon that her longing for reliving her childhood came from her having to “grow up too quickly” during WW2 still stands until new information is revealed.

Patty Hall is Rich’s workplace crush. She gave him her number.

Marie Payne was a worker for Playtime Co who joined the company because she liked the idea of being a “mother” to countless children by making them toys

Ages: Avery is 24, Stella (by the time of her chapter 2 tape) is 35, Rich is 32 but everyone thinks he’s in his 50s (stress does things to a man so he does look like he’s in his 50s)

Avery and Rich go out to lunch every now and then, once every two weeks or so.

I like to think that Rich either becomes Huggy or 1006 - Huggy because I’m more used to that theory, and 1006 because the idea of this guy that everyone considered worthless becoming the one to kill them all and eventually take full control of the factory…it’s a good concept.

The regular-sized toys are usually those made from children, while the larger ones like Huggy or MML are made from adults

Elliot Ludwig lost his daughter, and after that he and his wife divorced. His daughter became Poppy.

The weird calorie intake mentioned in this poster consists of the same “portions” that were fed to Experiment 814:

Still not sure how I interpret the human-to-toy transformation but here’s a hunch: the human is fed portions of the mysterious food, the human is killed and subsequently submerged in the poppy gel - and a toy is submerged with them, the human and the toy become one (for those who know TMNT 2012, think of how the mutagen worked from that show)

One headcanon that I want to change: Rich can spell and read and doesn’t struggle with grammar unless he’s stressed. He’s actually incredibly eloquent…when he’s not frazzled.

You know the “he asked for no pickles” meme? Rich and Avery. Avery’s got social anxiety.

Kathy/The Player was a scientist. I’m still inconclusive about wether they feel guilt about what they’ve done, and if they reacted at all upon MML’s death.

Kathy/The Player is an action figure. It takes them a bit of work to pass off as human, but they’re lucky to be more human-shaped than the other employees.

Rich’s autistic there I said it. He’s undiagnosed. The chapter 2 tape is him having a meltdown

There are probably more but I’ll likely make a much bigger post later on with the new characters added like Marcus and Marie.

Thank you for the question! I love questions like this!

[youralternantpersonality]

Dreams

Seth x Reader: Wanting you

Warning: Breaking fourth wall. Let me know if you catch it 😉 and gender-neutral parental names

Part 1: “Dreams” by Ella Eyre

Part 2: “You’ve Got It Bad” by Usher

Part 3: “Never Give Up on Love” by Bobby Tinsley

***

Y/n POV

“Will that be all for you?” I say, finishing up writing down the order.

“Well, I could get your number, beautiful.” One thing that is horrible about being a waitress is dealing with the harassment that comes with it. The best way to deal with verbal harassment (like in this situation) is by giving them the “AS,” as my friends would call it. The Awkward Stare. Now, this stare isn’t having ME become awkward; oh no, this is to make sure THEY do. Essentially, you would look at the predator straight in the eyes and give a resting bitch face until they become uncomfortable and silent. To the point where the whole table is uncomfortable. Kind of like your high school teacher would look at the student when no one would shut up. Once they were fully engaged in avoiding my eyes, I gave a final smile and went put in their order at the counter.

“You know, you could be a little less cute and more intimidating?” said Orion, my now lifetime best friend since I had started this job a couple of months ago. I turn to look at him and give him the finger as he walked around me to bring his tables their food.

“He does have a point. Straighten up your back more, pull your shoulders back, and clock your head to the side just a little. That way, you’ll really knock them.” Emily said. She was a regular here. Every Wednesday at 4 pm and Sunday at 12:30 pm, she would come in, go to her usual spot at the counter, and either order the chiefs salad with a side of a sliced pickle, the garden burger with seasoned fries, or 5 stack pancake with orange/apple juice. Her husband Sam or another kid named Jared and his girlfriend Kim come on Sunday morning, grabbing a crap ton of food (so Emily doesn’t have to cook) and leave. Polite men, scary—at least Sam can be, but polite. Jared is just a child, and I can do nothing but pray for Kim.

“You mean like that ugly pink toad lady from-”

“Don’t say it!” I roll my eyes. Ever since KJ Bowling expressed her feelings towards the LGBTQA+ community, she refuses to acknowledge it. The disbelief and sadness that took over for the love of Henry Planter she had were wild, yet kind of crazy to watch.

“Look, it could be worse. You could love the Dawn saga by Tephanie Neyer and find out that she is horrid in disguise. But hey! Once it hit 2 years, you’ll start realizing all the fucked-up shit in the series and slowly be okay. Dawn fans know Tephanie is fucked up, we know the series is fucked up, we acknowledge it all and take full responsibility for liking it, but some still like it. We don’t support it, but we like it.” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders. I have to remember, she’s a rookie in this game.

“That’s true. Why are the best authors the most fucked up?” she says, playing with her fries I just placed down in front of her.

“Because they hate us and know what the population likes. Just like politics.” I say, stealing one of her fries.

“I don’t know how you guys like that series! Wasn’t there racism, classism with the Ghoul’s and Werecats, hyper-sexualization on the prides where the cats came from, misinformed information, plagiarism, and too, I don’t know, squishy and fluffy in them?” Orion asked.

“First off, they were shapeshifters. Secondly, only in Dawn, Dusk, and Night were squishy. But only because Bethany and Elliot were on their honeymoon in the last one. Daytime didn’t have it because Elliot broke up with Bethany.” I nod in agreement while grabbing the food for my tables.

“I thought their name was Ben and Evy?”

“No, that’s the gender swap version,” I say, walking away with the food. I place the food down at one table and refill drinks to another; some of the reservation guys come in. Seth, Embry, Jake, and Quil. I look over to Orion to call him for his table, but it looks like he and Emily are in a heated discussion about the book series. So, I take over for him. As I walked over to the table, I made eye contact with Seth, and my stomach flipped.

Why you in my dreams? Don't know much about you But I heard about you for the longest time And I see you 'round whenever I go out With some friends of mine And I remember when I saw you standing in a different light It's funny where my mind goes when I'm in my bed at night though

As I lay in bed, I notice that my feelings become stronger and stronger for him almost every time I see him. He was a few inches shorter than me, cheerier, and lanky. I always saw Seth and his friends, but out of nowhere, these…flutters? Feelings? Emotions I don’t like started eating me up every time I see him. I know it might be a crush, I won’t even deny that, but…why?

I toss and turn that night and eventually give up on trying to sleep and just stare at the ceiling, thinking of him. Confused and resistant to even wanting to think about it. The last thing I need is to be in a relationship while in my fucked situation as is. I don’t need my guardians knowing anything about Seth either.

But then again, just like evil authors, life fucks us all over, and you can help but go along with it. Well, unless you sue them. Then that’s different.

'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?) Seth POV

I saw her again today. She was walking down the hallway with Orion and Kayla to gym class, and we made slight eye contact before Jake decided to take my attention away from her. I look at him, but I don’t really pay attention to him. I don’t know when it happened, but I have always loved Y/n. When she transferred here in middle school, she was cute, shy, and had (and still has) a babyface.

I could never talk to her. Every time I was around her, I’d get so scared and freeze up. And although we’re in high school, I still can’t control it. Lately, my feelings have been getting stronger. Not just with her, but in general. I don’t know what it is, but it’s taking a lot more of my energy trying to control myself. Leah and mom have noticed it too. But Embry was the worst. Speaking of which,

“Hey, where’s Embry?” Quil and Jake looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

“But did you hear a word I said?”

“Obviously not. He was too busy gawking at Y/n.” Quil said, laughing. I rolled my eyes and walked away. Ass-whores.

After school, we head to the diner and, like always and on cue, Jake and Quil make fun of me because Y/n works there. I roll my eyes at them and attempt to push them off me without smiling, but I can’t help it; they’re stupid. It’s not their fault.

Fell asleep at nine And once I closed my eyes, girl, you were so, so mine We laid in the dark, you left in morning light But, girl, it felt so right And if it's in our minds then we should make it life Girl, I mean real, real life Nothing's never for ya We were all and over for ya 'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams

That night I quickly dreamed of her without even having to try to at this point. Every time I want to or attempt to talk, I freeze. Thinking about her just makes me feel…warm. Her beautiful y/e/c eyes are captivating. They’ll draw you in, and once you’re in, you’re stuck. Her y/h/(L/C/T) hair embraces and defines her facial features.

The dream always starts out the same. I’m running through the forest at a high fast pace towards a place that always ends up being her home. I follow around the house to her room on the left side of the house towards the forest. As I look at her window, I see her sitting at the window seal and we instantly make eye contact. My heart stops for a second—she smiles and I walk up to her window to come inside. She doesn’t open the window. She places her hand on the window and my much larger now hands cover hers. We look at one another and smile.

I’m not bothered by her not opening the window. I’m just happy she isn’t freaked out about my presence. Unfortunately, every time she goes to open the window, my alarm wakes me up. And when I mean alarm, I mean Leah.

I groan and curse her and the need to wake me up so early. As I get ready, I think of Y/n and I can’t help but smile. Today’s going be a good day.

Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?) Y/n POV

The weekend comes and I’m heading in for my shift Sunday morning. I usually wouldn’t work weekends, but that was before I met Emily. I have Friday and Saturday off instead. It’s eight in the morning and Kayla, two of the cooks, and I all pile in before we open at nine. By 9:30, a few families start piling in and by 10, we have the food catered to Sam or Jared ready.

“Hey, Kim!” I wave to her as she walks into the diner. She waves back and heads to the counter. After setting up my table, I head over to the food and help her pack it up in the truck.

“I see you guys ordered more food than usual. Did more family members move into the area?” I say, passing her the multiple trays from the cart to the car.

“Yeah…something like that,” she laughs it off, “but rest assure, this will be gone within the next 45 minutes…maybe sooner.” I laugh with her. I believe her 100 percent. After seeing Jared and Sam, I already know their family that Kim describes them to be, is just as big, if not larger, then this food should hold them off for 2 hours. Maybe.

“Well, that’s all of them: drive safe, Hun. And stop by sometime after school. You’ll miss the adventures of Orion and Emily arguing over pink and rose gold.”

“Aren’t they different?” I nod my head. “But they’ll argue over that?” I nod my head again. She shakes her head and smiles. “Em usually starts it?”

“Sometimes. Only when she needs a good laugh or when she just feels like fucking with him. Last week they were in a heated discussion about the Dusk saga.”

“Oh, dear god! She told me about that. I can’t believe she went that deep into it with him.” Kim laughs.

“I know. That’s probably the only time they’re not being repelling off the same topic. Normally one would disagree for the fuck of it, but they put their fuckery aside and agreed to agree on that topic.” We both laugh. I finish up my conversation with Kim and head inside.

If I gotta fall asleep, sleep to see ya Then I'm gonna fall asleep, sleep to see ya It's different in the daylight Miss you, I dunno know why If I gotta fall asleep, sleep to see ya Let me fall, fall deep, deep to see ya It's different in the daylight See you in a new light 'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah

I wave bye to Em, and Orion comes in. I clock out for my break and go sit in one of the booths in the back. As I am prepping my garden burger with ketchup, I think back to my dream I had last night. This one was recently new, confusing, but knew. I take a much-needed bite of my food and relax for the next 15 minutes.

I just got done with my daily nighttime routine, unable to sleep due to Taylor and Kennedy arguing, I go to my window and look outside. I look up at the sky and just drift off into a world of daydreaming until something catches my eye in the bestrew of trees next to my house. As I continue to look, I see big brown eyes of an animal. I smile and the animal walks out of the trees slowly and morphs into Seth. I smile brighter as he comes closer and closer to me. By the time he reaches me, I can feel myself become excited and full of glow, happiness, and this sensation of warmth.

He steps up to the window and smiles down at me. I place my hand on the cold glass and he looks down at my hand and does the same. I can feel the heat radiating from his skin, which only makes me smile more. I unlock the window and just as I am about to open it, my alarm wakes me up.

I’ve been stuck on this for so long that Orion had to shake me out of my daydream. I put my food aside for later and went back to work. I’ll just deal with the dream another time.

I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?)

MasterList

[leiascully]

Fic:  Baseball Metaphors (7/?)

Part One  |  Part Two  |  Part Three |  Part Four |  Part Five |  Part 6

What can I say except you’re welcome, it’s PG-13, and don’t expect more until the weekend probably.

+ + + +

Between their travel schedule and Ethan and Jenny's various appointments, it's three weeks before they manage to get together for dinner again.  Mulder is honestly surprised it even happens. ��He assumed when they all promised it would be a regular thing that everyone else was just saying it for the usual social reasons.  He's never quite sure what to do anymore when someone who isn't Scully enjoys his company.  But he dutifully makes reservations at an upscale Latin American place in deference to Jenny's cravings for beef and avocados, and Jenny practically croons as she looks at the menu.  

"Oh, Fox, I can't believe you remembered," she gushes.  "That's so nice."

"That photographic memory," Scully says fondly, and pats his hand.  She's wearing a blouse tonight, silky and pink with one more button undone than her usual office wear, and a skirt that looks like it would be easy to slide his hand under.  But he's definitely not counting his bases before they hatch, or however the metaphor would go.

"There was no way I was getting between a pregnant lady and her tacos," Mulder says.  

"These are going to be way nicer than the ones we make at home," Ethan says.  "Nice job, Fox."

Jenny pats her belly.  She's showing slightly now.  "I'm sure our little peanut will appreciate that."

"He's so considerate," Scully says.  She throws Mulder a melting look.  

"Sorry we haven't been able to meet before now," Ethan says, "but big news - we closed on the house.  It's officially ours."

"Maybe we'll have you over for dinner!" Jenny says.  "After the painters finish, of course.  Can't be around the fumes right now."  She laughs.

"Of course," Scully says with a gentle chuckle.  "Maybe it'll inspire me to redo my apartment."  

"I thought you were going to redo your apartment soon anyway," Mulder says in a meaningful tone, nuzzling at her ear.

"Oh, Fox," she says, playfully pushing him away.  "You know we haven't worked out all the details yet."

"We've got news of our own," Mulder says, turning back to Ethan and Jenny. "We're moving in together."  Jenny claps her hands.

"That's so wonderful!" she says.  "You'll have to have a housewarming when you find your new place."

"We haven't even decided whether we're getting a new place," Scully says, smiling.

"You will," Jenny says decisively.  "You know when you get to our age, it's just too hard to let someone else into your space, or to give up your own place.  A fresh start is better.  That way you can work together from the beginning.  It all starts with compromise."

"Wise words from a beautiful lady," Ethan says, leaning in to kiss her cheek.  

"I just know you'll find the perfect place," Jenny says.  Her eyes are shining.  "And if you need any help, Dana, I actually love looking through the real estate ads.  I'd be happy to look up a few places you might like."

"That sounds perfect," Scully says.  Mulder nudges her knee with his under the table.  She presses back firmly.  

Dinner, fortunately, is delicious, because it's accompanied by endless details about Ethan and Jenny's bungalow, their paint colors, the new stove they're having delivered, and the plans they have for their guest room.  In the absence of wine, Scully indulges in a margarita or two.  Mulder watches her lick the salt off the rim of her glass and remembers the kisses they shared in his car.  They haven't talked about it since, but he's indulged in a few reminiscences, alone in his apartment.  He picks up a forkful of pickled vegetables and pork from his Cuban plate and orders another margarita for himself.  

The meal ends with churros, fresh-fried and glistening with sugar.  Scully dips one into the accompanying chocolate sauce and holds it to Mulder's lips.  He bites into it, only a little self-conscious.  It crunches gently, hot and delicious.  He looks at Scully and it's like they're the only two people in the room.  Maybe that's where this ridiculous ritual comes from.

It's a nice night, somehow, or nice enough, for a night that doesn't involve watching either UFOs or baseball.  He couldn't have imagined becoming anything even approaching friends with anyone who'd ever dated Scully, but Ethan isn't that bad, and Jenny's definitely trying to smooth everything over.  He can tell that all this domesticity is still pressing on some sore spots in Scully's heart, but it isn't intentional.  Ethan and Jenny just genuinely want to share their joy.  

They say their good nights at the door of the restaurant.  Mulder puts his arm around Scully and she slips her hand into the back pocket of his nice jeans.  He isn't sure whether she's actually squeezing his ass, but at this point, he wouldn't put it past her.  When he agreed to play pretend as her boyfriend, he didn't expect either of them to commit to the bit so fully, but it makes sense despite Scully's generally reserved nature.  When she goes for something, she goes all in.  Rewriting Einstein.  Pursuing some kind of accelerated program through med school that he still doesn't understand so that she could join the FBI.  Wrangling him and investigating the X-Files.  Cuddling up to him at a restaurant as if they're sickeningly in love.

He's seen worse coping strategies for dealing with one's ex and one's ex's new house purchase, promotion, and pregnant pretty fiancée.

"See you soon?" Ethan says, holding out his hand for Mulder to shake.

"We wouldn't miss it," Mulder says.  "Or that double housewarming."  They wave as Ethan and Jenny turn to go through the parking lot.

"Is this what it's like to have friends?" he murmurs to Scully.

"I'm not sure anymore," she says wryly.  "All I have is you."

"I'm not so bad," he says with amusement.  "Am I?"

Now she's definitely squeezing his ass.  "You do all right."

"You okay?" he asks.

She sighs.  "It's srange," she says at last.  "On the surface, it seems as if they have everything I've always wanted, but I don't look at Ethan and want to be with him.  I don't even know if that life is what I want at this point.  I mean, it is, but this job isn't exactly compatible with parenting, and I don't want to give it up, and I don't want to have a family unless I have a partner, which I don't have time to find.  My parents loved each other, but I saw what raising four kids basically on her own put on my mother.  And Dad missed so much."

"Meanwhile my parents had nothing but me in their lives," Mulder says.  "After Sam, I mean.  That wasn't ideal either."

"So two to four kids," Scully muses.  "I don't think I'm the type for immaculate conception."

"That should be the least of your worries," he tells her, opening the car door for her.  

They bicker amiably about the existence of Bigfoot on the way home, a refrain as familiar as anything on Top 40 radio.  He parks outside her building and turns to her, trying not to have expectations.  But he can't stop remembering the heat of her kisses that fogged up the windows, the weight of her balanced in his lap.  She blinks at him slowly in the dark of his car and he thinks she's remembering too.

"Walk me to my door?" she says, and the quirk in her lips makes her intent clear.  

"It would be my pleasure," he says, and follows her into her building.  He props himself against the door jamb as she unlocks the door.  It takes her a second, even though he knows they were at the restaurant long enough for the margaritas to wear off.  If she's jittery, it's for some other reason.  He hopes it's him.  The lock clicks open at last and she tugs her keys out.

"Well," he says, grinning, "good night."

She reaches up and tows him into her apartment by his shirtfront.  He kicks the door shut and lets her press him against it as he bends down to kiss her.  He does taste salt and sugar flecked at the edges of her lips this time, but what matters is the heat of her and the way her lips and tongue insist on capturing his full attention.  He cups his hands around her face.  He'd pick her up if he dared and let her wrap her legs around his waist, but as natural as it feels to kiss her, all this is new.  

"I think you've earned second base," she says.  "For outstanding performance at an endless dinner."

"You sure?" he asks.

"I saw the way you looked at me in that hotel room in Oregon when I showed up in nothing but a robe," she teases.  "To say nothing of assorted evidence I've gathered over the last few years, up to and including elevator maintenance.  If you're not interested, we can say good night, but I better not hear any more bullshit about method acting."

"I'm interested," he assures her.  "It's just that pesky real life and office that we share I'm worried about."

She shrugs.  "It's worked so far.  I'm not going to tell my therapist about it, but it's worked."  She pulls him closer and looks up at him.  "If I didn't let Them take you from me, I'm not going to let this take you from me."

"If you're sure," he says.  

"I'm sure that I'd rather that you were feeling me up than that we were continuing this conversation," she says, pressing her body against his.  "So shut up and put out or get out."  She winks to soften her words.  

He kisses her again and unbuttons her blouse with feverish intensity, sliding his hand inside to touch the lace of her bra.  Her nipples are already hard.  He flicks his thumb across them and she gasps against his lips.  

"Ah, Scully," he says reverently.  

"Couch," she commands, stepping away and taking his hand, and he follows her over.  She perches on the arm of the couch, her shirt half-open and her eyes half-lidded.  He sits below her and buries his face between her breasts.  She laughs, her chest rumbling against his forehead as he nuzzles against her velvety skin.  

Scully, in a surprise to no one, has absolutely perfect breasts.  They're perfectly shaped, with a perfect weight in his hands, and her nipples are rosy peeking through the lace of her bra.  He loves them.  He could play with them forever.  From the noises Scully is making as he gently squeezes them, that's more than all right with her.

He loses track of time.  He's hypnotized by the texture of her, the salt taste of her skin under his tongue.  He pulls her on top of him, toppling onto the cushions.  She's straddling him and yes, he was right about the skirt being easy to push up.  He undoes her bra and pushes her shirt off her shoulders.  She slides her arms out of the straps and he has access to all of her.  The way she braces herself above him changes the shape of her breasts and he could spend forever just exploring all the things gravity or the lack thereof could do to her body.  He wants to get her in a pool.  He wants to take her into space.  He wants to grow old with her, and fuck, he already knew it, but it's a whole new world.  

"Mulder," she says, and her voice comes from far away, but he reels himself in.  She slides down his body until she can look into his eyes.  "I don't want to stop."

"I hear a big 'but' coming," he murmurs, kissing her.

"But I don't think we should round the bases tonight," she says, her voice brimming with regret.  

"You know I hate it when you're right," he says.  She leans down, smiling against his lips.

"I know you do," she says.  "But you and I both know we're going to have to have more dinners with them.  It makes more sense to ration it out."  

"Just in case of catastrophe," he says.

"That and I don't want to fling myself into your arms to assuage my regrets about my former relationship," she says.  "You deserve better."  She kisses him again.  "But god, I want you."

"You'll just have to wait a little longer," he says indulgently, brushing his hand down her bare thigh.    

"At least until the nursery's painted," she says, rolling her eyes.  

"That's third base," he tells her.  "Housewarming is home."

"Who put you in charge of the calendar?" she teases.

"I'm kind of in charge of the elevator," he jokes back.  "Besides, who knew the way to get you to drop all your inhibitions was to put you at a dinner table with a nice boring suburban couple?"

"That sounds much more scandalous than I think you intended," she says with a smile.  

"My scandal level is precisely calibrated," he says.  She climbs off him and he sits up.  He'll have to address his situation again when he gets home.  He's half-amazed he didn't come in his pants like a college boy fumbling around in his twin bed with his first hookup.  

"Good night," Scully says, tracing a finger down the buttons of his shirt.  

"I guess you didn't get to second base," he says, looking at his chest.  Hers is much more appealing.  She's shrugged her shirt back on and her breasts are bare inside it, flushed and possibly marked by his teeth.    

"Next time," she says.  "You don't have quite as much to work with."

"I might surprise you," he says.  

"Next time," she says again, and this time it's a promise.  She sends him out the door with a kiss and a slap on the ass.  He shakes his head in the hallway, only half-believing that any of this is happening at all.

[greaseonmymouth]

Thank you for answering my question! I've never heard of horse being used as a meat animal before (I'm from the U.S. and the concept of eating a horse is like... a last resort type of thing and not something that's done now), and cows just being kept for dairy. I'm gonna have to learn more about your food system, it sounds very interesting.

No problem, I'm happy to talk. :)Here in Denmark, where I live now, eating horses is pretty taboo so it's next to impossible to get hold of horse meat at all. (That horse meat scandal the UK had a few years ago? Yeah, we had that too.) mutton is expensive because Danes apparently hate nice food, and fish is expensive because...Danes don't like fish unless it's pickled herring, ugh. (I can't stand herring.) so what I eat meat-wise here is actually 90% chicken, 5% processed pork (chorizo, bacon, etc) and 5% beef on sale. When not eating meat, I get my protein from eggs, dairy, and beans/lentils w/rice. I could get pork, it's cheap, and Denmark is Pork Country, but I don't like pork, so.Icelanders eat a LOT of dairy. You *can* get beef and it's not like it's not produced at all, but when you already get much better meat from e.g. sheep, there's just no point in optimising beef production when you can put that effort towards dairy instead. (And tbh the best goulash is made with horse meat, not beef. Horse meat is much more tender than beef. Mutton does nicely as well.) And man, we eat and drink so much dairy. Even adults drink milk with their meals, not just kids. Milk, yoghurt, cheese, ice cream, butter, cream, skyr... like...I'm lactose intolerant, always have been, and as a child I laughed in the face of that and kept stuffing my face with ALL THE DAIRY EVER. A bowl of skyr with cream (or milk) on top with some blueberries if available is an entire meal in its on right, and we'd often just get that for lunch. Hell, I still just grab a bowl of skyr for dinner sometimes if I don't feel like cooking. I definitely have milk with my meals. I don't know what the statistics say, but it'd be difficult for an Icelander to not consume a single dairy product on any given day.Looking at the food history, all the traditional meat dishes that turn up are primarily mutton, pork and horse, and they're usually salted, smoked, pickled (in whey), or fermented. My favourite meat dish ever is actually salted horse meat (just...boiled, and served with boiled potatoes. You know that bit from CA: TWS when Steve says to Sam "we used to boil everything"? Yeah. We too.), and my second favourite is split pea soup with salted meat (the usual is salted pork but I prefer salted mutton. I've never been a big fan of pork.)And I talked specifically about livestock before, but hunting is still a pretty big deal - whale*, reindeer, fowl such as ptarmigan, goose, duck, and puffin are all meats eaten on the regular, though it varies from family to family and region to region. My mum's brothers A and Þ and my cousin S (A's son) usually go hunting once or twice a year, once for reindeer and once for ptarmigan. In some families ptarmigan is the main course for Christmas. (In mine it's smoked ham and a cut of mutton I don't remember the name for in English. It's a section of the sheep's back.) my dad's family don't hunt. I come from a family of fishermen (in Iceland, who doesn't?) so fish was always, always a staple. I like it best fresh, not salted or smoked (too strong flavours) and boiled and served with boiled potatoes, or minced into fish balls (meatballs, but with fish) and fried, or just filleted and fried in breadcrumbs, or in various types of gratin, etc. Cod, haddock, that big ugly looking fat "eel" with TEETH (what the fuck is it called in English? Wolffish? Anyway in icelandic it's ROCK BITER, that's how hardcore it is), those fishes that are like salmon but aren't salmon, are staples. Actual salmon is not, I guess there isn't much of that around? Idunno. I never had salmon in my life until I moved to Finland, where it (and other salmon fishes) are easily available and not all that expensive. Lobster (well, we call it lobster but I think in English it might be crayfish?) is pretty cheap and easily available as well. Shrimp too. Many kinds of seafood, really. In Denmark I don't get a fraction of the seafood I used to eat on the daily in Iceland because here it's rich people food, not poor people food.Like...look, back in the day when food was more scarce in Iceland and people had to be creative with what they had and utilise every single part of the animal, you just didn't slaughter the cow for the meat if the cow was still giving you milk. You instead ended up with dishes like cod cheeks (I think usually salted? I'm not sure, it's been literally decades since last I had cod cheeks), singed sheep heads, blood pudding, liver pudding, smoked cod roe, meat jelly made from boiling a pig's head, pickled ram testicles, fermented skate and the one that the Internet always likes to bring up every now and then: rotten shark. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not actually rotten, but fermented. Not the same thing. Etc. Lots of different kinds of meet dishes that all come from sheep, horse or pork, plus lots of dairy + whey byproduct from dairy production that was used to pickle half those meats. So there just isn't much tradition for beef in the first place? We had all these sheep for eating (and bonus: wool + toys made from the bones and horns, leather from the skin, etc)! and practically, sheep are much much cheaper to raise than cows. Half the year you don't have to provide for them, just let them loose on the mountains and they'll fend for themselves and return in the fall super tasty from eating all sorts of grasses and plants. The texture of the meat is also fantastic, no doubt because the sheep get to actually...like...do stuff. Work those shanks. The rest of the year they're eating hay that you cut from the fields around the farm. (I'm no expert on this, so idk if Icelandic livestock gets fed other stuff in addition to hay these days? And sheep are really the overwhelming majority here.)WELL, ALL THIS FOOD TALK HAS MADE ME REALLY HUNGRY SO I'M GONNA GO MAKE DINNER. *(Please leave all whale hunting discourse in the bin where it belongs, please, I'm not interested. If you want to know: yeah, I do eat whale meat when given the opportunity (it's similar in texture to reindeer meat and not that different flavour wise either. If you're being served whale meat that smells/tastes of fish, it's gone bad and you shouldn't eat it) and I don't have anything against whale hunting.)

[moosefrog]

100 Questions

@pkoceres tagged me, tagging @medusinestories, @tea-blitz, @pangur-pangur , and anyone else who wants to (if you already did this just ignore me lol)

1. Coffee or tea? Tea (so much tea. I prefer loose black teas.)

2. Black and white or color? Color

3. Drawings or paintings? Both! I’ve actually sold more paintings than illustrations

4. Dresses or skirts? Neither? I suppose dresses. They’re easier to put on.

5. Books or movies? Books (And movies when I go to a theatre! I have a hard time sitting through a movie at home.)

6. Pepsi or Coke? Neither. They bloody well discontinued Coke Zero so no more cola preferences for me. It all tastes terrible.

7. Chinese or Italian? Food? Are we talking food? Cuz.. both? XD Uhh... Italian, I suppose. I probably eat more Italian than Chinese. 

8. Early bird or night owl? Is there a bird who sleeps in until nine or ten then is in bed again by eleven? Because that would be me. The reasonable duck.

9. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla (Chocolate triggers migraines so it’s been a couple of years since I last had it.)

10. Introvert or extrovert? Extroverted introvert. People drain me but that doesn’t mean I can’t perform when expected.

11. Hugs or kisses? If I can only have one, it’d be hugs.

12. Hunting or fishing? Fishing. I rarely catch anything but it’s nice to spend time outdoors.

13. Winter or summer? Ugh.I suppose winter because I'd rather be too cold than too hot.

14. Spring or fall? Spring. The winters are long here and it spring means the end of seasonal depression!

15. Rural or urban? Urban but in my heart of hearts there’s a wee cabin in the woods waiting for me.

16. PC or Mac? Mac. I used to be PC but omg. I’m never going back.

17. Tan or pale? Pale.

18. Cake or pie? Cake

19. Ice cream or yogurt? You can’t compare! Unless we’re talking frozen yogurt... then probably ice cream. Specifically Natrel or Island Farms ice cream. 

20. Ketchup or mustard? They both have their uses.

21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? Sweet pickles!!!

22. Comedy or mystery? Comedy

23. Boots or sandals? Sneakers! But I suppose sandals. I only wear boots when it gets to -40C here.

24. Silver or gold? Silver

25. Pop or Rock? Both! XD I guess I’ve been listening to more pop lately. I go through phases.

26. Dancing or singing? Singing and awkward dancing at the same time

27. Checkers or chess? Either is good with me but I used to belong to a chess club. =p

28. Board games or video games? Video games because I don’t get together much with friends but when I do, I like board games well enough.

29. Wine or beer? I can’t drink alcohol. (I mean, I could? But it’s a huge IBS trigger so unless I want to run to the bathroom and get stuck there...)

30. Freckles or dimples? Freckles

31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? Honey mustard!

32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? I do both on a regular basis. I hate using machines and prefer free-weights!

33. Baseball or basketball? I’ll play either but I also hate watching either. So boring.

34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? Crossword!

35. Facial hair or clean shaven? It depends on the person in question. My partner is clean shaven.

36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Crushed

37. Skiing or snowboarding? Cross country skiing

38. Smile or game face? Smile :D

39. Bracelet or necklace? Necklace. I don’t even wear a watch because I hate things on my wrists when I’m coding. And I’m coding every day.

40. Fruit or vegetables? Fruit

41. Sausage or bacon? Sausage

42. Scrambled or fried? What? Eggs? Over easy so... fried?

43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? Neither.

44. Tattoos or piercings? Neither

45. Antique or brand new? Both! Depending on the item.

46. Dress up or dress down? Down, down, doobie do down, 

47. Cowboys or aliens? That was a not bad movie. =p Aliens.

48. Cats or dogs? Neither. I love both but I’m allergic. (But cats are inherently superior.)

49. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles. Big old Belgians.

50. Bond or Bourne? Bond

51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Both. Definitely both.

52. Numbers or letters? Letters

53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Both but LOTR/Hobbit is what I’m interested in atm.

54. Fair or theme park? Mehhhh... crowds. Disney at Christmas was pretty magical.

55. Money or fame? Money

56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? Laundry

57. Snakes or sharks? Snakes

58. Orange juice or apple juice? Apple (But I don’t drink juice very often)

59. Sunrise or sunset? (They’re kinda the same!) Sunset.

60. Slacker or over-achiever? Over-achieving slacker. 

61. Pen or pencil? FOR WHAT? Sheesh. Context. Uh... pencil.

62. Peanut butter or jelly? Peanut butter.

63. Grammys or Oscars? Not interesting to me.

64. Detailed or abstract? Both! Which is why I’m a good coder.

65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? Meh. I don’t care. 

66. Adventurous or cautious? I would say I used to be more adventurous. Now I’m a bit more cautious. SHE CAN LEARN! XD 

67. Saver or spender? Auto-saver likes to spend. (i.e. I have my finances arranged so the bank automatically saves money for me. I get to spend what is left.)

68. Glasses or contacts? Glasses

69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop! I haven’t used a desktop in at least a year.

70. Classic or modern? Context? I like a mix, generally speaking.

71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? I already have a personal fitness trainer. I would loooove a personal chef but seeing as I did go to school for culinary arts... I should just not be so lazy and cook for myself.

72. Internet or cell phone? Internet

73. Call or text? Text

74. Curly hair or straight hair? Curly

75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Evening. I hate going to bed when I don’t feel scrubbed clean.

76. Spicy or mild? Mild.

77. Marvel or DC? Marvel all the time

78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? Neither! Paid off the mortgage this year!

79. Sky dive or bungee jump? Bungee.

80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? Golden Oreos

81. Jello or pudding? Pudding! (mmm butterscotch...)

82. Truth or dare? Truth. I have no truths too shameful to reveal. Mostly because my shame-tolerance is so high.

83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? Ferris wheel

84. Leather or denim? Denim

85. Stripes or solids? Stripes

86. Bagels or muffins? Bagel

87. Whole wheat or white? White

88. Beads or pearls? Beads

89. Hardwood or carpet? Carpet

90. Bright colors or neutral tones? Bright colours!

91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? I’ve ben thirty years old since I was twelve. So I’m both. =p

92. Raisins or nuts? Raisins

93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Restaurant

94. Black leather or brown leather? Brown

95. Long hair or short hair? Short

96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? Pfft. Aim twice shoot once.

97. Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction (Although I enjoy reading sciencey non-fiction)

98. Smoking or non-smoking? Non-smoking

99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? Constantly talking before I can slap a filter on what I’m saying.

100. Asking questions or answering questions? Answering.

[lalka-laski]

Where is your favorite place to get fries? Hm... curly fries are my fave, so anywhere that has those!

What is the most recent article of clothing you’ve purchased?

Leggings and a purse from Plato’s Closet 

Have you ever paid for anything with a cheque (check)?

Honestly I don’t think so. Who uses those anymore? 

Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents?

A few people 

Have you ever made your own pie from scratch?

Nope and I wouldn’t dare try either 

Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Glenn 

Are there any waterfalls nearby?

There are a few small ones in the area and Niagara Falls is less than an hour away. And I mean... that’s the waterfall of all waterfalls. 

What was the last food item you ate?

My homemade mac & cheese last night. It came out splendid! 

What are your earliest memories of going to see a doctor?

I remember basic pediatrician appointments from an early age but I’m not exactly sure how young

Can you hear traffic right now?

Nope

Have you ever pulled a muscle?

I think so? 

What did you do last weekend?

Had my usual date day on Saturday with my honey, then went to a Mardi Gras party at night. Then spent Sunday nursing a hangover while watching trash tv... it was glorious! 

What is your favorite gaming console?

No preference 

Have you kissed someone today?

I kissed Glenn’s forehead while he was sleeping to say goodbye this morning, but he didn’t kiss me back

What is your favorite condiment?

MAYO ON EVERYTHING

Do you have a strong opinion for or against Justin Bieber?

No opinion 

Have you used a telephone today?

I’ve been texting on my personal phone and I’ve used my office phone twice. 

Do you prefer coffee or tea?

I alternate between the two.

Have you taken a painkiller today?

No but I feel a potential headache brewing so I may pop over to the nurse’s station for some Advil 

How many theaters does the closest cinema from your house have?

Not a single clue 

Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house?

I wouldn’t say a “stock” but there’s usually a bottle of some kind. 

Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it?

They’re ok. I don’t drink them mostly just because of the stigma. I look like a basic white girl enough as it is, I don’t need an accessory. 

Have you had a nap today?

I’ve only been awake a few hours. I’m crossing my fingers I get out of work today in time for a nap before my boyfriend gets home but I’m not sure that’ll be possible

Is there an antique store in your town or city?

Quite a few. I should visit them more!

Have you ever been to a baby shower?

Of course 

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, do you think it will last?

Yes and well, we have plans to get married so it’s a safe bet

Do you have a hyphenate name or know anyone with one? (eg. Carter-Brown)

I know a few people who do, but it’s rare. 

What would you wear if you were being taken out to dinner tonight?

Well I am technically being taken out to dinner tonight. Though we’re just going to grab subs (and our favorite giant pickles!) I’ll either be wearing my work clothes if I don’t stop home first, or something super casual and bordering on pajamas. 

What were the last shoes you wore?

I’m wearing my work flats right now. They’re pointed toe so they have an 80s vibe. Which is, of course, why I love them. 

Who cooks most of the meals in your household?

Exclusively me. But I’m happy to do so! 

Do you know anyone who has been to rehab?

Yep 

Have you ever had a mojito? Honestly I’m not sure. If I have it was only a sip or two. But now I’m inspired to maybe try one this weekend...  Do you take your Christmas decorations down before or after New Years?

Typically after, I like to keep them up as long as possible. Though my mom always warned us that if the tree wasn’t taken down by January 6 then hobgoblins would crawl out of it. My family is very normal. 

How many romantic relationships have you been in so far?

Ehh... that’s a little murky. But it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that I’ve found my one and I’ll be with him forever.

Have you ever been camping in the wilderness?

Yes and it’s not really my cup of tea. A cabin or cottage is fine but I have to draw the line at sleeping in a tent. 

Do you have any money on you right now?

Nope

Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater?

Not in the slightest. And picky eaters actually bother me, I find them childish!  (Though I have nothing to back this assumption)

Have you made a large purchase today?

Nope

What was the last candy you ate?

Gummy hearts for Valentine’s Day 

How often do you eat Subway?

Absolutely never. If I wanted to eat a sandwich on a damn hot dog bun, I’d make it at home. 

Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard?

My childhood home!

What color is your toothbrush?

Pink, as are most objects in my life.

Do you have gluten intolerance or anyone who does?

I’m sick of hearing about supposed gluten intolerance. It’s so phony. 

Have you ever cried while watching a movie?

You must not know me because I cry at EVERY. MOVIE. 

First thing that catches your eye when you look out the nearest window?

I have no windows in the dungeon I’m currently trapped in 

Have you ever had a migraine?

Thankfully no 

Do you have a gym membership?

I do but I’ve been meaning to cancel it. 

Have you locked your front door today?

Mhm 

Have you ever slept in a car overnight?

Nope 

Have you washed the dishes today?

Ugh, thanks for reminding me that I have to do that when I get home

Have you ever fainted?

Nope 

Have you been awake before sunrise today?

Yeah I’ve been up since 5:07 exactly. 

When was the last time you went to the bank?

I took cash out a couple weeks ago to tip my nail tech. 

Do you avoid conflict as much as possible?

Absolutely. Which usually ends up creating more conflict for me in the end. You think I’d learn but I haven’t yet... 

Have you ever used a leaf blower?

Nope

You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction?

“That looks like fun” 

Have you hugged anybody today?

Actually yes. It’s my coworker and dear friend’s last day at work today and I hugged her as soon as I walked in the office this morning. LOTS of tears happening today. 

Who called you last?

Tommy 

Have you ever been to Mexico?

Nope

Has someone close to you died of murder?

Thankfully no

Do you cry easily?

You don’t even know

Do you have any drugs in your bedroom?

Nah 

Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?

My sister? I’m throwing up

Do you abbreviate when you text?

More often than I realize actually 

Did you ever have sex with your ex after you broke up?

Yes 

Have you ever given up something you really wanted?

Yes, haven’t we all? 

When’s the last time you did laundry?

Just yesterday. I have more to do today though.

Do you recycle?

I really ought to more. I admit I’m lazy about it. It’s one of my worst habits. 

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

I’m pretty certain no one even reads these so I’m not worried. 

Do you pray to God often?

That’s a tough question 

Have you ever done volunteering work abroad?

Nope

Can you stand spicy foods?

I’m working on it! My palate is evolving

Is anyone in the room on the phone right now?

It’s just me here right now 

How good are you in terms of ‘saving up’ money?

I used to be great at it and I moved into my current apartment with almost $6k in savings. I honestly have no idea where it went now. I guess I severely miscalculated my budget 

Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub?

Bath tub 

Have you been to the beach this year?

It’s January in upstate New York so.... no. 

When did you graduate high school?

2010

Can you read HTML code?

I may have some leftover knowledge from my Myspace days... but not much

Does a blizzard from Dairy Queen sound good right now?

Actually no

Do you drink diet pop?

I switched to it for weight loss purposes. And I want to bash my head against a wall whenever some pseudo-scientific twit warns against the dangers of artificial sweeteners and claims regular soda is “healthier” than diet. No food product is categorically healthy or unhealthy. Food is a personal experience colored by a variety of factors. Diet soda is the ~healthier option for me because drinking it has allowed me to drop 20 pounds of excess weight that was straining my body. No one can tell me that’s unhealthy. 

Do you like the taste of cough syrup?

Who does????? 

How many people did you hang out with today?

None, unless you count everyone at work right now. But we’re not exactly chilling 

How much money did you spend today, and on what?

None so far.

When’s the last time you were high/drunk?

I was a little tipsy last night, I won’t lie

What are you doing tomorrow?

Girls night!! 

Who is the person you often go to for venting?

All of my friends, my sisters or Glenn 

Why do you do these surveys?

There’s not much else to do when work is slow so these are a good way to pass the time. Plus I like the self reflection they allow me. 

Have you spoken to your mother today?

Nope, but she might text me later 

Do you have current feelings for anybody? The love of my life!!!

[the-wellness-intermix]

My beginner “diet”

Starting a “diet” (I hate the term diet, because if you care enough and are dedicated, it should be a dietary change that you are going to stick to not a quick thing to lose some weight and then fall off the wagon) does not have to be hard at all. In the beginning when your really feeling like you need to make a change in your life and are feeling unhappy with your body but you don’t necessarily know where to begin or your idea of a diet is bland, boring food and that you’ll always be starving; it definitely does not have to be, nor is it. All you have to do is start with little changes and then slowly work your way into bigger changes (but I will cover that in a separate post).

When I started really getting into weight loss I didn’t really have much of an idea on what I was doing. I knew the basics and knew I needed to exercise and eat less... of everything. Because I was pigging out.  

As I mentioned in my post “the Stop and Start Method” I started cutting out fast food and junk food and sugary drinks. When I went grocery shopping I would start going with “cliche go-to’s.” I went to fruit and veggies. I like oranges and I, at one point, started doing frozen grapes because I saw it on Pinterest. They are pretty good. I also started buying Lean Cuisines. I honestly really like Lean Cuisines. They are the more flavorful diet meal compared to Healthy Choice and SmartOnes. But I used to eat those a lot. 

Start with simple grocery changes. I’m going to give you my top 10 easy changes to make to help get you on your way (In addition to my Stop & Start Method).

Switch from white bread to whole grain or multi-grain bread. They aren’t all bad and don’t all taste gross, I promise.

If you are obsessed with coffee, that’s okay, just stop getting sugary drinks. Ease your way into using Stevia or even no sugar at all. That’s what I did. I started ordering unsweetened iced Americano’s and eventually grew to really like them.

Cut out chips and substitute for better snacks. We all love chips. Who doesn’t love chips? Doritos? My weakness. I literally can’t buy them because I promise you, I WILL sit and eat the whole bag. Switch to things like popcorn (preferably air-popped) and not the ones with extra butter, obviously. Even switch it out for veggies with Greek yogurt dip or hummus. Or reach for whole wheat crackers or Triscuits. I love Triscuits.

Ease your way into lower calorie/fat milks. Some people may be lactose-free already but if you are drinking dairy, work your way down to 1% or skim. When I lived at home, my mom always bought 2% milk and when I started trying to be healthier I made her start buying 1% and then I eventually switched to almond milk. But make sure your almond (or any nut) milk doesn’t have added sugars. Look for unsweetened or even unsweetened vanilla, that way there is a natural sweetness. You can get original as well, that’s what I buy often times. Or you can even go for the protein blend ones to add extra protein in your diet. These are usually a blend of almond and cashew milk.

Go for more fruits and veggies. Sounds like a simple cliche one but do it. But I want to say, don’t go crazy with buying them at first. I’m going to be honest with you, there’s a very high chance half or more will end up going to waste. You don’t want to bombard yourself with getting a ton of them because they are fresh ingredients so they have a shorter shelf life. I know sometimes it can be exciting and we feel like we need all of this stuff and you can get wrapped up in it and go over board but just try to be mindful and plan out your weeks and how you think you will utilize each fruit or vegetable. Get more of what you know you like and then buy one thing you’re not sure of and experiment with it. Some of my favorites are:

Watermelon

Cucumbers

Kale or Spinach

Apples

Carrots (with hummus) [Celery is actually an excellent one but I personally hate celery… Lol ]

Yellow Squash and Zucchini (Love to saute it. I’ll put up a recipe soon)

Spaghetti squash (use it like pasta and add some homemade, or no-sugar added, spaghetti sauce)

Oranges

Avocados

Olives and pickles (these are actually great snacks. I know they are love or hate for people but I LOVE olives. They are great for their fats and pickles are a great low-cal snack)

Ground Turkey or Chicken instead of ground beef. There is less fat and less cholesterol in turkey and chicken and you will hardly notice the difference. I love using ground chicken for tacos.

Check your labels and look for things like “No Added Sugars, Sweeteners, Colors, or Preservatives or Artificial etc.” This was a big thing for me. I got really strict about this because I wanted to be healthy and not eat artificial ingredients. This will help you cut down on your processed, refined sugar intake.

Switch out your regular pastas to either quinoa, chickpea, brown rice, or lentil pastas. You honestly will not know the difference. I personally like the chickpea pasta, I can not tell any difference at all.

I do want to add, however, try cutting down on the pastas in general. Cutting down on your carbs will definitely help lose weight. ESPECIALLY Simple carbohydrates. I don’t believe in doing a no-carb diet. This would basically be the Keto diet and I know a lot of people do this and see results but I don’t think that its practical and sustainable.

Eggs! Start eating more eggs. Omelets are great because you can add any meat or veggies that you want. It’s a great way to get more veggies. And you can add cheese but try to do low fat cheeses like Swiss. I always use Swiss cheese in my omelets. You can even make it and bring it for lunch, they heat up pretty well, as long as it is in the same day though. I don’t know about next day.

Another way to use eggs is hard boil them. I actually like hard-boiled eggs. I like them cold. I don’t know if that’s weird, I think warm hard boiled eggs are gross so I always make them ahead of time and refrigerate them. They are great as a quick breakfast or as an add on for lunches.

For my last suggestion, the one thing you could be waiting for, the sweets. A lot of us have a sweet tooth. I don’t have a crazy sweet tooth but I do often times crave a little something sweet before bed some nights. Eating cookies, candy, ice cream, etc. is one of the worst things you can do for your body, especially when trying to lose weight. So, the best way to combat this is find those healthier alternatives. Now keep in mind these may not be uber healthy options, but they’re going to be better than those other junk foods, and we are looking at baby steps here to get you on a path to shedding some pounds and build up to a healthier lifestyle.

Try things like Greek yogurts. Get the ones with fruit mixed in and yes, I’ll say it, try the mixable ones, like Chobani Flips or Fage Corners. Yes, there is still going to be some sugar but it sure as hell is going to be less fat and sugar than ice cream. And being Greek yogurt, it is going to have very little lactose so its not going to bloat the body.

Obviously, reach for fruits. You can even make a fruit dip with Greek yogurt and it’s really good honestly and pretty satisfying (I’ll work on a recipe post for that).

And for things like cookies, reach for whole wheat animal crackers. I’m sure this isn’t the most healthy thing but its better than an Oreo in terms of nutritional value. I believe Trader Joe’s has really good whole wheat animal crackers/cookies.

To wrap this up, I want to say a few things. Firstly, I DO believe in treating yourself once in awhile. Don’t take that as an invitation to eat everything terrible for you all in one day and call it a cheat day. What I mean is, allow yourself something that is your favorite like once or twice a week. I personally love french fries so, allow yourself french fries with your meal if you go out and indulge on those. Or ice cream once a week (I’d stick to once a week for something like ice cream). I don’t think completely cutting every thing you enjoy out is going to help you because more often than not, you are going to cave and just go in for a binge session and then hate yourself afterwards. I’ll be completely honest with you, I used to do the '“cut everything out” thing because I was so desperate to want to look skinnier (I plan on doing a separate blog post on my self-esteem and how that affected me) but it isn’t as enjoyable because I wouldn’t let myself even taste anything. If someone said “try this, it’s so good” and it was like ice cream or something, I would refuse. I mean, yeah it was strong will power and you really do need to keep up your will power but don’t drive yourself crazy over it and deprive yourself.

Secondly, I like to think about being healthier as, what things can you add to your diet as opposed to “what do I have to take away/cut out?” It makes it less negative and more exciting. Obviously, you are going to have to cut things out but you have to use your better judgement on that and with the ‘adding things,’ you inevitably end up cutting those bad things out.

And then lastly, simply avoid those impulse buys. Don’t be tempted to stroll through the candy aisle or look at the candy and chips in the checkout line. Be happy with your healthy choices you just through into your cart and don’t ruin it by those last minute things that will throw all the good choices down the toilet. Unless that little KitKat bar happens to be your one-time splurging choice, then I can let it slide, haha.

I know dieting can be difficult at times but that’s why I want to lay it out in such a way to make you want to stick with it. Make these small grocery changes and you will start to see results.