#i don’t like m/l bc it reminds me of when people would tell me ‘oh give it ten years you two will be married!’ abt my bullies

[chemos-factories]

I personally don’t really consider primarch/primarch incest (I think of it as a combination of Would You Fuck Your Clone + Greek Mythology Bullshit) but even if I did, who cares. Ferrus blew up a planet. I think blowing his brother’s back out is small potatoes in comparison

[writingdumpster]

first impressions

pairing: Matt Murdock x reader (no pronouns used)

warnings: none I think

summary: i wrote this purely bc i know matt murdock is excellent at meeting people’s mothers. after impressing your parents matt gets to thinking about his future.

word count: 1.6k

“I’m nervous.” You sat next to Matt in the restaurant he had chosen for the evening. It was fancy. There was a pianist in one corner of the room and linen tablecloths. It was nicer than the hole-in-the-wall joints that you and Matt usually preferred. He wanted to impress your parents though, so he had made a reservation at a swanky restaurant in midtown Manhattan. 

Matt was in his court suit and you had donned the blue silk dress he bought for your anniversary. It was by far your favorite dress. Beyond being a treasured gift, it fit you perfectly and the fabric always felt soft against your skin. Karen had helped Matt pick it out, but she had told you that all she did was describe the dresses and that he had completely ignored her opinions. She had strongly recommended a yellow dress but he had refused her suggestions, insisting you would like the one he picked better. Never having seen the yellow one, you knew he was right. If he picked it, you loved it. You would have him choose between options you put out when you got dressed in the mornings by describing them to him and he always had you match his tie to the rest of his outfit. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Matt said and kissed your temple. 

“I only ever introduced Caleb to my parents,” you told him, not that you hadn’t said it before. Matt knew that Caleb was not someone you had pleasant memories of. He had heard the stories from you and he was the one who helped you get over many of the fears that Caleb had struck into you. Matt was remembering those stories while he heard in your heartbeat how nervous you were. 

“You know I’m not like Caleb,” Matt reminded you. 

“I know, Matt. I just…this is a big deal for me,” you said. 

“It’s a big deal for me too, sweetheart,” Matt told you. “It’s just an exciting big deal for me.” You inhaled deeply. Matt smiled. “You have nothing to worry about. Moms always like me, angel. It’ll be great,” he assured you. 

“All women like you,” you said. Matt laughed lightly. 

“Then that will include your mom, won’t it?” He asked rhetorically. He gave you a light peck as he tangled his fingers with yours beneath the table. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he cooed. You sighed. 

“You’re right. I know they’re going to love you. I just…” You hesitated. 

“Caleb was a mistake and you think it’s bad luck,” Matt said, always knowing what you were thinking. 

“Yeah,” you agreed. 

“This isn’t a mistake, sweetheart. I promise. It’s just the next step,” he told you. You nodded and Matt gave your hand a squeeze. You looked up at the doorway to the restaurant. 

“They’re here,” you said. You rose from the table and greeted your mom and dad with hugs. Matt was standing by your side with a charming smile across his face. 

“Hello, Mrs. y/l/n,” Matt greeted with a smile. Your mom held her arms out to Matt and pulled him into a hug. He returned it kindly.  

“Oh, please, call me y/m/n,” your mom said. “Y/N has told us so much about you. I think we can be on a first name basis,” your mom said. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as your mom told Matt how you spoke about him. Matt simply turned to you and smiled. He loved that you told your parents about him. He wished he could tell his dad all about you. Your father held out his hand for Matt to shake. Matt stayed still, not wanting to give up his powers. You took Matt’s hand and pulled it to where your father’s hand was waiting. 

“Oh, sorry about that,” your dad said in embarrassment as he shook Matt’s hand. Matt chuckled lightly. 

“That’s alright, sir. Took y/n months to stop answering me with nods,” Matt joked. 

“It was not months,” you said sharply. 

“You still do it sometimes,” Matt teased. You pursed your lips, biting back the comment about how you knew he could tell. The four of you sat down, Matt pulling out your mother’s chair for her before doing the same for you and taking his seat.

Matt was right about mothers loving him. He charmed your mom with his dry sense of humor and enchanting smile. He won your dad’s approval when he mentioned he owned his own law firm. Your father didn’t need to know that Nelson and Murdock was nearly always on the edge of bankruptcy. Your parents told Matt stories about you from your childhood, despite your protests that they were too embarrassing. Matt loved the stories. All he could do was smile at you. The night was perfect. Matt was perfect. Your father refused Matt’s attempt to pay for the meal before the four of you left. You said your goodbyes in front of the restaurant before getting into different cabs and going back home. Matt’s hand was resting innocently on your leg while the two of you sat in the back of the cab. 

“I told you it was going to be fine,” Matt teased you. You rolled your eyes. 

“Yes, you were right, Murdock,” you agreed. Matt chuckled. 

“Doesn’t happen that often. I have to brag when it does,” he said. The cab pulled up outside of your apartment and the two of you got out. You made your way up the stairs and walked through the sliding door. The glow of the billboard outside of your window was blue. A new advertiser had taken over a few weeks earlier and the red light that usually filled the room had been replaced with a blue light, making it seem like your apartment was bathed in moonlight. You were looking through the mail that you had collected on your way up. 

You realized you didn’t know where Matt went when music started playing. You smiled to yourself as you tossed away the junk mail. Suddenly you felt hands on your hips as Matt pulled you away from the counter. He spun you around and moved one of his hands to the small of your back. The other went to cup your hand in his. You giggled before moving to wrap your free arm around his shoulders, fingers tangling in the hairs at the nape of his neck as the two of you began swaying back and forth. Matt loosened his hold on your waist and moved to let you spin beneath his arm before pulling you back into his body and dipping you. 

When Matt pulled you back upright you leaned up on your toes to press a kiss to his lips. Matt smiled against your lips. You stared into his eyes when you leaned away. His eyes were so beautiful. You never cared that his eyes didn’t see you the way yours saw him. He saw you in so many other ways. 

“You really impressed them,” you said as you leaned closer to Matt, tucking your head against his neck.

“I told you moms like me,” Matt said. 

“My dad liked you too though,” you said. 

“Yeah,” Matt agreed. “We just can’t let him visit my office. He won’t be impressed anymore.” You chuckled. 

“I certainly hope he won’t ever need a lawyer,” you said. 

“If you hadn’t needed a lawyer we never would have met,” Matt reminded you. 

“Yes, and that worked out very well,” you agreed. “But when we tell our kids how we met I think we should make something up.” Matt beamed. 

“Our kids?” He asked. Your heart dropped for a moment and your face went blank. 

“I mean, umm…” You started stuttering. 

“We’ll have to get married first,” Matt interjected before you could start backpedaling. Your panic turned to excitement. You grinned. 

“You obviously have my parents' approval now,” you said. Matt smiled. 

“And you’ve certainly gotten Foggy’s approval,” Matt replied. 

“Foggy likes me better than you,” you said with a laugh. 

“Yes, I know,” Matt said flatly. “He’s very clear about that.” You held back your giggles. 

“If you came into the office with cookies instead of bruises like me he might like you more,” you joked.

“I do bring in cookies,” he grumbled. 

“Yes, but Foggy knows I made them,” you said. Matt sighed. 

“He wouldn’t like me at all if I brought in cookies that I made,” he said. You giggled at the memory of Matt trying to make your birthday cake and causing the building to evacuate after setting off the smoke alarm. 

“When we have kids I bet he’ll like them better than both of us,” you said. Matt smiled. 

“That’s alright. We can use him as a babysitter that way,” he said. 

“Maybe if Karen’s there too,” you said. Matt chuckled. 

“You don’t trust Foggy with our kids?” He asked. 

“Matty, you have told me far too many stories about you dragging Foggy back to your dorm after a frat party for me to trust Foggy with our kids,” you said. “He will most certainly let one of them do something stupid.” 

“And you think I won’t?” Matt asked. 

“You won’t let them do something stupid, you’ll do it for them,” you said. Matt spun you around in his arms once more as the song came to an end. He kissed your forehead when he pulled you back against him.  Matt’s heart was full at the way the two of you were so casually talking about your kids. He hoped it wouldn’t be long till they were real. He knew what he wanted. He didn’t want to wait for it anymore. There wasn’t anything stopping him now.

“You want to go ring shopping tomorrow?”

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z CHOI HYUNSUK (treasure)

🔅highly requested so i hope that you’re all happy with this and it’s what you wanted 🥺 these are so fun to write🤗🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the nicest boy on the planet. he’ll get you water and will clean you up. he becomes your little puppy and would do ANYTHING for you. he asks you if you’re okay a LOT and is super soft and giggly with you. also tonnes of compliments 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes his mouth and what it can do to you. using it on any part of your body has you moaning… even just gentle kisses. he likes that he has that influence on you and uses it to his advantage.

on you his fav is… he doesn’t have one? he can’t find anything he likes more than the rest, everything about you is perfect to him and he tells you that regularly. but he is a big fan of your legs and how sexy they look 👀

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

on your face, in your mouth or on your chest. not really a fan of finishing inside because 1. he prefers safe sex 2. HE DOESN'T WANT A CHILD YET and so doesn't wanna cum in the condom either lol just in case. likes to cum on ur tits because it looks nice and it makes him cum thinking about it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes sending and receiving voice notes. it’s easier to get off to when you guys aren’t together and faster than texting. enjoys phone calls too but doesn’t have time to think before he speaks on the phone so that’s why voice notes >>. plus they last forever, he can return to them at any time.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

keeps it on the low because he doesn’t wanna make you think you have to “live up to previous partners” or “he’s just using me as a statistic” but he’s had a lot of sexual partners. most were romantic partners (as romantic as 3 month relationships can be) but he’s probably had to relieve stress with other people on occasion. he knows what he’s doing, but he doesn’t wanna compare you to other partners so he keep all of his experiences separate from whatever you’re doing together if that makes sense.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes hitting it from the back, doggy all the way. his hands rest on your ass and spread your cheeks occasionally. also gives him the best angle to spit on his dick before pushing it in (doesn't just rely on spit alone as lube tho, he learnt that the hard way).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t call him goofy in the moment, but he’s not serious either. he’s just having a good time and so are you. he still remains the same person you see everyday, fun loving and sweet.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the first few times he knew you were gonna do stuff, he shaved or at least trimmed. but the care slowly started fading out and he stopped doing anything down there. if you don't like it, that’s your problem, not his, it’s a lot of effort to go to for someone who clearly doesn’t accept him for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

everything you do, it’s full of love, and it shows. he treats you like his queen and nothing less.

sometimes he can be distant tho, especially during quickies, he has one goal and that is to cum, you’re simply there to assist at that time. but after he’ll show you all the love in the world, he’ll even thank you hehe.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he does it in the shower most of the time. it’s private and also reminds him of times he’d had sex in there so it’s a winner.

the idea of having sex or looking back at sex is mainly what he gets off to, but he uses porn ocassionally when he’s jacking off in bed.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

PRAISE (giving)- likes to tell you when you’re doing something well and likes to let you know that you look good throughout. it’s his favourite thing to do because he means it. he tells you that you look good on your knees because you do, he tells you that he loves the way you moan because he does. he recognises that this makes him vulnerable but it builds trust.

daddy- only if you’re okay with it bc some people don’t really enjoy it for obvious reasons, but he likes you calling him daddy. he likes your voice anyway, but dropping “daddy” innocently into sentences not only turns him on but also makes him eager to please. you’re his baby girl so it’s only natural that he’s your daddy. he has to treat you right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s up for it anywhere when he’s in the mood. he loves shower sex. although a little impractical and kinda annoying at times, he loves being able to make out with you in a hot and steamy room and fuck you agasint the shower glass.

he’s also a fan of just basic on the bed, on top of the sheets. it’s convenient and hard to mess up.

both places mentioned he considers quite romantic too, which is why he likes them.

very very very turned on by the idea of fucking you in a bathroom or dressing room backstage but he isn’t sure if you’d be up for it or not, definitely something you’d have to initiate but he’s love it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your voice and your moans - you turned on = him turned on. hearing you moan or talk in the way you know he likes… HARD ON STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!

running your hand through his hair - it sends him crazy. his eyes roll to the back of his head and he has no control over himself when you do that.

wearing his clothes - especially if you wear nothing underneath. he’d encourage that shit too, constantly giving you hoodies and t-shirt’s to wear when you’re at his place.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that puts your safety at risk. you are his happiness and seeing you suffer, even if it something you enjoy, he hates it. he also isn’t one for receiving pain himself. i think he’d not only be hurt physically but also emotionally… like why would you do that to him?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

likes to keep it equal, always repays the favour. actually enjoys eating you out tho and it’s his ✨forte✨. let’s just say he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. he likes to hold your hand when he eats you out, like in a romantic, intimate way.

when you suck his dick, he’s the type to have his hands laced in your hair. he wouldn’t be too forceful and would let you go at your own pace. he never expects you to suck his dick, he’s not one to request a blowjob all too often, but he would never refuse one.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he would start of steady, letting you adjust and what not, before making you set the pace. you can back into him as slow or as fast as you want but after a few seconds he’ll be there to steady it out again. he’d be quite rough even though he’s attempting to be romantic, but it’s just to add a little spice.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh he LOVES quickies. they turn him on, even just thinking about them turns him on (and usually leads to one when possible). sex is sex and he’s game for any at anytime. most of the time these happen when people are in earshot. he tells you to be quiet but neither of you want to be. the idea of getting caught fucking you in his dressing room turns him on.

he’d actually prefer quickies to dragged out sex. fast fucking to get the job done is more appealing to him than dragging it out sometimes.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he likes to stick to what he knows. he’d rather know that what he’s doing is good and is actually making you feel good rather than experimenting with something that could go wrong.

he does take risks in the sense that he’s gonna fuck you where you guys could possibly get caught but not as far as to inflict pain or injury.

saying that, he isn’t opposed to trying something that you want to try, or something that you’ve brought from previous experiences.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he drags out the whole thing if you have the time to, spends a lot of time on foreplay. although this doesn’t happen very often, this type of sex is once in a blue moon.

as mentioned above, he loves quickies, they’re his most favourite type of sex since they happen when either of you need it, not when it’s been built up for god knows how long because he’s too busy for that.

he usually can go for two+ rounds but chooses not to. once he’s started on his aftercare, there isn’t a chance you’re getting more dick after that, you’re gonna have to wait (unless you tease him ofc 11/10 would recommend).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s in two minds about them. if you already own them, he wants to see you use them and might use them on you too. if you don’t have any but you want to incorporate them, he’s not opposed to it but he’d rather you found out what you liked in relation to toys first. if you didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t even bring it up.

if you wanted to use some on him, he would let you try it out, but he wouldn’t force himself to enjoy it. if he doesn’t enjoy it he’s not letting you use it again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a tease outside of the bedroom but during sex, everything is as you see it. he doesn’t want to waste time teasing you, especially if you don’t have the time.

he likes teasing you when people are around. seeing you getting all clammy in front of your friends or his friends to assert his power over you. his favourite thing you do is wink at you and smile. so innocent yet it means so much more to you than it would to someone else when he does it.

sometimes teases you unintentionally. he puts his hand a little too far up on your thigh and before you know it you’re wet and he’s just having a laugh with his friends, not even noticing what he’s done to you. time to take him to the bathroom and show him i think ;).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud! groans and moans a lot, he’s not afraid to do it either, he doesn’t hold back. he knows you get turned on by his groaning just the same as he gets turned on by your moans and so he takes great pride in not being shy to make some noise.

dirty talk is a must among you pair once the initial shyness has gone. you could get off to each other’s voices alone. add that to some amazing sex and you’re all set for orgasm after orgasm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

(i have a strange feeling that someone has written something like this before about hyunsuk (but better obvs and in more detail) but i can’t remember who… if that’s the case i promise this isn’t me stealing their idea or anything malicious).

“i’ve never done this before” you confessed, opening up your laptop to the screen he’d caught you on. you were really embarrassed that he’d caught you watching porn, but he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest, in fact, it really turned him on. that’s why he suggested you watch it together.

“we can try it together” he encouraged, pressing the spacebar to continue the video. you turned up the volume a little, making sure you could both hear.

it took you both a few minutes to really become comfortable with the situation. you’d gotten back to imagining yourself and hyunsuk in that situation, while he studied it to pick up on anything that you might be into.

“oh” he looked over at you who was clearly deep in thought “you like blindfolds too?” he asks.

“yeah, it’s hot” you reply, not once taking your eyes off the screen.

hyunsuk looks around your room when his eyes land on your sleeping mask. he hesitates for a second, thinking he might ruin the atmosphere if he springs in on you straight away. he decides to not ask you just yet, he’s a little too tired to have sex right now, but remembers it for the next session.

you glance over towards him, his trousers and hands catching your eye before noticing that he wasn’t even watching.

“are you embarrassed? i can turn it off if you want” you question. he slowly removes his hands from over his pants and instead replaces it with yours. you begin to palm him while steadying the laptop with your other hand. the laptop was soon moved to the end of the bed. your hand was now in your underwear and his was in his boxers. the experience was surreal, it was a lot of firsts for you, you’d never even thought about rubbing one out while your boyfriend did the same next to you, but you were definitely enjoying it.

“don’t cum until i do,” hyunsuk ordered. easier said than done. “i wanna cum listening to your moans, baby”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's smaller than average…4-5” with average thickness but he gets the job done and it doesn’t affect the pleasure he can give to you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

proper sex, 1-2 times a week. he can be horny whenever you want him to be and you both know that, but he doesn’t always wanna have sex. sometimes he’s just happy with getting you off, especially if he’s tired.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he gets a little hyper after sex and wants to stay awake just to be around you and show you how much you mean to him. falling asleep is the last thing he wants to do. if you haven’t actually had sex, just a little fondling and playing, he’d fall asleep pretty much straight away afterwards. the whole reason you pair didn’t go all the way at the time was because he was tired so…

[helenaklein]

Heya, i come across your blog while talking about nelroche etc. I never know anything about l&l since i never play lovestruck, can someone give explanation which part that is similiar? While idk anything about lovestruck, I found their previous work also has similiar with manga yana of the dawn (which i have read the manga, and yes, they are pretty similiar to called it just coincidence).

okay so fair warning... this is long as fuck because there are more similarities than there are differences lol. also as a disclaimer i’m only invested in this whole thing insofar as it entertains me but if the “””””creators””””” want to fight me because i wrote this post.... they’re welcome to but i promise i’ll have more fun than they will lmfao

l&l’s about a young woman from a major city in our world who one day gets sucked via magical portal into a fantasy world filled with magic and races that are only fiction in ours. once there, she gets mistaken for their most notorious war criminal, an insanely powerful witch who committed a genocide and is center of a cult of worshipers willing to kill and die for her.

this is nelroche’s description, straight from their devblog:

now, if it was a matter of similar basic premises and setups, i’d write it off as coincidence and tell the anons who made me aware of this that i thought they were overreacting. after all, “normal-human sucked into medieval world” and even “mistaken identity” are both very well established tropes that have been done and done again and will continue to be done because many find it compelling. hell, i do too. honestly, if the devs had simply said that they drew inspiration from love & legends, i’d have understood.

but.

the similarities only begin there. and they only get more excessive. coupled with their adamant denial that they’ve never even read it....... it’s just not possible lmfao. even if they decided to change the physical appearances of the characters, the tropes behind them and their personalities are exactly the same.

the nelroche demo has:

1) the lord of a region who’s a massive workaholic to the point of self-detriment, but is very caring towards their people and their inner circle and whom everyone in the group has referred to as a parental figure.

aka.... l&l’s reiner wolfson, who’s described directly from the app as “Reiner is a fair and compassionate ruler who would defend the people of the human domain with his life.”

2) the prickly knight to said lord, who’s fiercely dedicated to their liege, very serious in personality along with stubborn and prideful, but cares deep down once you get past their walls.

literally l&l’s august falke. the demo describes them, literally as “...reminds me of the knights in the fairy tales, except, it seems, not quite as charming” whereas august’s in-app description reads “This knight in shining armor is more aggressive than the story books led you to believe...” I’ll let the similarities there speak for themselves.... lol

3) the energetic and bubbly mage who’s super tiny compared to their companions and avoids serious discussion, who happens to be a bit of a trickster and has a mysterious quality.

l&l’s altea bellerose but make it less pink! altea and “C”s similarities go even deeper but i’ll get into that a bit later.

4) the mysterious and heterochromatic-eyed figure who’s distrustful and initially stand-offish as a result of living through a life of hardship, that is excitable and actually loves to travel.

look no further than l&l’s saerys! M’s eyes are “ocean blue and purple” compared to his blue and red, but don’t let that difference fool you! their introductions are laughably similar (more on that later)... and the “travel” bit lmfao. not to be mean but they couldn’t at least change up his hobbies? come on now, work for that plagiarized bag!

5) the lazy and flirtatious one who’d rather spent their days joking and taking it easy than handling their many responsibilities, who does care but shows it in ways unconventional.

just because their hair is grey instead of white doesn’t mean it’s not l&l’s iseul idreis, babes! i’d know that endlessly frustrating man anywhere! lovestruck’s app description for him reads: “The elven prince is beautiful and cunning with a silver tongue, but his lackadaisical lifestyle leaves much to be desired”. corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures they’re the same dot jpg.

6) the complicated and slender blonde who wields both blade AND magic, whose eyes glow, whose power is deemed dangerous, who wears shades of blue, AND is initially described as cold? who seems like she wants to beat the hell out of her compatriots, who she seems to lead, and whose outfit is needlessly complicated?

you think i don’t know a knock off helena klein when i see one???? ME???????? helena’s in-app description LITERALLY reads “cold as ice” and “wielding both sword and sorcery with ruthless precision”!!!!! of alllllllllll the things i’m most offended by this one motherfucker you can’t just fuck around with helena on a whim okay this shit is personal now!!!!!!

7) the creepy, predatory, and combative pale-but-tanned-but-murky-skinned dude who wears robes and a creepy beast mask.

l&l’s jinhai jubal i know it’s you!!!! actually this is probably the funniest thing of the whole situation to me bc this dev decided to remove not-alain as a love interest and seemingly replace him with not-jinhai. secondary poster you a hilarious bitch i’m not gonna lie.

(here’s jinhai in his mask lmfao)

8) the mouse-looking man who seems not as confident as not-helena and not-jinhai, wears full armor AND a double-sided sword strapped to his back.

none other than l&l’s alain richter, back from the dead! im gonna let the next image speak for itself.

still with me? i sure hope so bc it really gets juicy now!!!!! the similarities don’t end with the characters!!!! no, no, no!!!! the plot and progression of the demo are identical to that of l&l’s pilot episode, beat for beat.

in the l&l pilot episode, after the mc stumbles through the portal and into the medieval town, she’s almost immediately accosted by august, a rude mf who essentially acts not very knight-like despite his appearance and forces her into the nearby castle’s dungeon.

once inside the dungeon, the l&l mc is approached by a figure with hetero-chromatic eyes, who seems intrigued and confused by the mc’s lack of knowledge about the fantasy world.

once that person leaves, in comes a bubbly woman who seems to be floating. she asks mc if she’s ready to get out of the dungeon, and mc is like!!!! finally someone willing to help me. only..... uh oh.... she takes her to her lord instead of freeing her, wtf!!!!

once brought to the lord, who seems much more calm and reasonable than his high-strung and feisty knight, he listens to mc’s story and seems to believe her somewhat, but doesn’t want to risk his people.

(he’s even standing at the window LMFAOOOOOOOOO)

then the last remaining figure (iseul) playfully suggests that the lord (reiner) allow the mc to pick which among the group she’d like to guard her while they all determine whether or not she’s being truthful about not knowing anything. this is literally! literally! LITERALLY! how the PILOT EPISODE! of LOVE AND LEGENDS! ENDS!

ARE YOU SERIOUS LMFAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO. going through all this is literally fucking HILARIOUS to me like ak;sdfjadsfkl;asdfjlasdf how BOLD and BRAVE do you have to be to so blatantly rip something off and then deny even ever encountering what you stole from adsfkjldfasdfkasd,f. i’m not even super mad bc like.... i torment voltage for funsies. but! LMAO!!!!!!!!

lastly..... as an added bonus to all of the juicy, juicy evidence above. l&l mc has a best friend in the “real”, modern world, who inexplicably has a lookalike in the fantasy world. well..... would you believe it if i told you that the nelroche has one just like it???

that’s right! even sophie and solaire made the plagiarism cut! gotta love those girlies, i’m so happy for them :)

the end!

[kuroosweakness]

Even more more facts about 🐾 anon bc you seem to like them so much:

Ayo the fact u think I’m a main character </3

I’m asexual but am also straight😔 yall prob don’t care tho I just wanted to say it

I am watching food wars😃😃 help me I want to go home but I’m doing it for the food so I can hopefully cook better😭😭

I’ll let you know if I can cook better from watching food wars or not

Ok idk if I can cook better but it’s not as bad as I originally thought and it has a good plot

I remember you asking why 🌝 is my first recent... LISTEN THAT FACE IS A MOOD ITS LIKE A LENNY FACE ON A MOON

If I was in AOT my two moods would be: “if I die I die, whether it’s bc of natural selection or I got killed by a Titan is debatable” and “it is what it is”

Team Eren all the way btw😎🥶🥶🥵💯💯💯💯💯❗️❗️❗️❗️

*war flashbacks of Assassination Classroom😭😭*

I read fanfiction of fictional characters but I could never do it with real people. I’m just saying it don’t feel right y’kno? That’s a real person with they own life outside of acting and whatever they do. It kinda upsets me but I don’t judge

I’m not a very judgmental person, I really just be minding my business

I’m so THICK in the head, like you can be like “well today was awesome” and I’d be like “cool! Tell me what happened!” AND ID BE GENUINELY EXCITED TO HEAR HOW YOUR DAY WENT AND I WOULDN’T GET YOU’RE BEING SARCASTIC (im not too dumb tho so I CAN pick it up from your voice or something, texts, not so much😭)

i’m lonely :(

Currently trying to find a crush in food wars bc all that’s keeping me going is the food🖐😔

On MyAnimeList it says I completed 140 anime so yea

I have only completely dropped one show and that’s yugioh arc v but seriously I watched the original and I don’t see a point in watching more

I apparently have like over 30 anime on hold BUT IN MY DEFENSE I’ve put a lot on hold so I can finish the new ones out like AOT s4, JJK, and TPN s2

I wonder what mood I give off🧐

Omg this is the only one where I didn’t talk about music

How do cooks fill food with food? Like let’s say you stuffed chicken with cheese, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?😣

:P

I’ll eat literally anything if it’s good.... unless it triggers my pickiness😬 which is easy to trigger if I see something stringy in my food or something. Like I’m really picky when it comes to onions bc they can leave a little bit of a stringy outer part bc of it and I HATE bean sprouts and I have no other reason to hate them other than the way they look. At least I like fruits and vegetables 😚 (except spinach if made wrong)

Idk what my favorite food is, the food I eat most frequently is rice and noodles but even then idk what my fav food is

I really love tea though ^^

I’m also into medicinal herbs and gardening. I even wanna go foraging!!^^ however ^^* I kinda don’t like being outside but I’m getting more used to it

I’m so used to subtitles, it’s like I don’t need to fully read them to know what’s going on. Whenever I’m watching sub the voice acting happens on its own y’know? But it’s still in japanese?? It’s hard to explain

I love how through my asks you can see some of my adventures of going through anime, like I do really love Haikyuu (it’s my fav after all) but you can also kinda watch as I enjoy other animes!

I love to play chess^^ but I’m a big wild card since I’m literally willing to sacrifice all my pieces to protect the king and queen, the queen even more so. (I also don’t do too much thinking when it comes to the game, it’s a wonder how I end all of my games in wins or ties ;-;)

Hugs and kithes!!🥰🥰

Well imma go back to watching food wars since I can’t think of anything else :P gn!

(Did you notice I organize the facts about me by color?👀) (that took way longer than necessary🖐😭)

oh okay okay, i don’t know much about sexual orientation but i’m trying to learn more! 

lmaoo i’ve also watched food wars! it was one of my first animes. other than the ... it’s a really good anime! i’ve learned a lot of new tips/tricks about cooking and i love the character dynamics :) tell me how it goes? 

(i have a crush on akira) 

i should start using the moon emoji more ... 

LMAO i haven’t watched aot much but ME TOO 

yeah yeah i can also understand the not being able to do that with real people! that’s so cute though, to be genuinely interested!  i’m sarcastic all the time lmao :) 

:( come talk to me! 

lmaoo soma’s hot though! and got a great personality!! also, takumi! KUGA REMINDS ME A LOT OF NISHINOYA!! 

you give off a really hyper and extroverted energy :) 

140 ??? oh wow, i genuinely impressed 

LMAO I HAVE NO IDEA. i can barely cook eggs. 

me too!! food is food :) i also eat rice and noodles the most often!! :)) tea too!!! 

ohh medicinal herbs! i’ve learned a bit about chinese medicinal herbs before ... doesn’t the assistant of erina (hisoka, pink haired girl from food wars) study medicinal herbs ?? 

ME TOO. I CAN’T understnad anything without captions now lmaoo 

omg you like playing chess? i kinda wanna play with you! :)) i’m not really goood at it but i’d love to try 

hugs and kisses 😼

enjoy watching food wars!! :))) talk to me about it, i haven’t watched in so long ahhh 

[fuck-customers]

So here's a real long and real angry fuck coworkers/managers so hang on tight (tldr at the end).

I work in fast food, which sucks a lot, but it's a high school job yknow. Well the place I work at is often heralded for it's outstanding customer service, which includes having people take the drive thru orders outside. And often take orders outside in illegally hot/cold temps, to the point where the weather app/website has been blocked on our order taking ipads, to make it harder to call out the managers for their bullshit, but whatever.

So I'm outside today, and it's late May in the south, so it's hot as balls out, probs around 90, so technically people outside are supposed to rotate every 10 minutes. So my coworker, J, and I are sent outside to take orders, and we do have fans but they literally don't fuckin work, so that's real fun. After about 20 minutes, J and I both ask for some water, and the shift leader who's wearing a headset inside, M, does get someone to bring that to us. I told her where my cup was, and someone got it to fill with water, but doesn't pour out the soda that was previously in my cup, and just fills the top half with water, and brings out my delicious warm watered down soda. Which I'm not gonna drink, that's disgusting, so I just resign myself to thirst.

About half an hour after this, J finally asks for his rotation, which I'd been thinking about. M inside says to give her a second, they're busy, but she'll get it in a couple minutes. I figure I'll let him get rotated, wait a bit, and then ask someone to come outside for me as well. I settle on waiting 10 minutes. I do ask for some proper water from whoever comes outside, as that'll make it more bearable. 

Yet the replacement never comes. J and I continue to take orders out in the heat for about another half hour, complaining to one another. Finally, he calls over the headset, mentioning his rotation. M simply says "okay", and another employee with a headset, B says that they'll get to it, and stop whining.

At this point, I'm starting to feel really sick from the heat, as in I can barely breathe, I'm having to stop and catch my breath in between every sentence I say to a customer, and my chest hurts. I just really want some damn water, honestly.

Finally, Js headset battery starts to die, and he calls for a replacement. A new coworker, S (sorry for so many letters), says she'll bring him one, and about 5 minutes later when she walks out, we both ask her for water. Thank God, she brings some back for us, and J asks her about his rotation again, and she tells him "We have no one to rotate you with", which is bullshit, because she could rotate, B could rotate, multiple others inside could rotate, they just don't wanna come outside, when J and I have been outside for close to 2 hours, which is like really illegal lmao.

So J says again over the headset that he wants his damn rotation, and he's pretty pissed now, understandably. My dumb ass, trying to be the tough guy, insists I'm fine now, even though it's hard to speak from wheezing. This time though, none of the original people respond.

Soon after though, the night drive thru lead comes outside, to check on J and I, and after I tell her what's up she starts apologizing profusely, saying she hasn't been wearing a headset, she didn't know what had been happening, she had no clue we'd been asking for an hour and a half for assistance we hadn't received. Less than 5 minutes later, both J and I were back inside, with B and S on our spots, and M nowhere to be found inside.

I go to take a spot inside and have a really rough coughing fit, can't talk, can't breathe, etc. The drive thru lead, L, tells me to go sit in the back for a bit, which I gratefully accept. At this point I'm sunburnt, my throat aches, and I'm shaking violently. A few minutes later L comes back and starts apologizing again, saying she feels awful, saying she wished she was wearing a headset. I love L, shes a super sweet manager, and I know she's really upset. She said it was bullshit that we didn't have people to rotate, and that if she'd been listening, she would've gotten it done ASAP. Then I tell her a shift leader, M, had a headset on, and she got mad, mad that M abandoned J and I outside, and says she'll talk with her. M has always liked me, but I figured that was about to change. L left for a smoke break, and I caught my breath in the back for a bit before going to take a spot up front.

Later, when B and S came inside, B was bitching about how he "had to be in a position that wasn't even his because some people have to complain". This is about being inside, because although he was scheduled on an inside position, it's the position that rotates with order takers, and he's a little bitch. I told him that if he'd taken the rotation when J first asked, he wouldn't have to have been outside for as long as he was, because if J and I hadn't been worked to heatstroke, we would've been switched back.

M walks over, hearing our bickering, and immediately like "oh it doesn't matter now we're all fine now haha" and I'm still p mad so I say "Yes, but I certainly still feel dehydrated". M starts to try to defend herself, saying she hadn't heard us asking for water or rotations or anything, but says she knew that my first drink got fucked up, but apparently didn't try to fix it??? But still, her defense is bullshit, because she would respond with an "okay" or "I'm working on it" whenever J tried to remind her. B immediately backs her up, saying he didn't hear anything, even though he too responded, because he's a suck up. I just ignore them and keep working on whatever I'm doing, trying not to lose my cool on this incompetent shift leader who literally just got back from 6 months of not working bc she's at school.

After we've closed I'm talking to L in the back about the night, and she's close to tears apologizing to me still, and I feel terrible, because it's obviously not her fault, and she already gets shit from the other managers about the way she does her job. I tell her what M said about "not hearing" J and i, and she says when she talked to M privately, she claimed the same thing. Honestly, that makes me angrier than the whole being abandoned thing, because you're a leader, sis. Own up to your mistake and apologize and I would've moved past it and not typed out this whole thing. J was also super pissed, but M kept telling him that he should be over it now.

Another thing M did at the same time was told J and I not to "reset" to the speakers when we've reached the end of the drive thru lane, to allow the orders to process and not keep inundating the kitchen. It's a basic drive thru protocol to reset when we're backed up, to try and keep things smooth, and keep food in order. M yelled at J and I and told us to keep taking orders and not "stand around" at the speakers. Apparently she gave the same orders to B and S when they were outside, and L heard and told them they had to reset, it was the rules. M then went outside and told them not to listen to L, that she was in charge, and that they weren't allowed to reset. M is a shift leader just back from school, L is the night drive thru lead, aka Ms superior. L was, understandably, pretty pissed, especially since a lot of other managers don't respect her either. Work is a shit show, and I'm sunburnt.

 TL;DR - Coworker and I left outside in 90 degree weather for 2 hours, I without water, other coworkers bitch about having to switch out with us, leader denies hearing our request for water or breaks, same leader goes directly against superior managers orders, I'm sunburnt and pissed off.

[provocatxur]

━━ ( nicola peltz + cis female + twenty-one ) oi , have you seen brynn rothschild around ? she lives in flat 17 in bedroom 3 ? i was meant to meet them this morning at bean me up before our lecture but she didn’t show . no ? well , shit . if you do see them , can you tell them i’m looking for them ? they’re a 4th year political science student from manhattan, new york & you’ll know it’s them because they might just remind you of the shattering of a chandelier on marble flooring , lipstick drawn threats left on mirrors , pointe shoes slowly wearing out , imported wine in place of company & long nights spent in porcelain tubs if that helps at all . just be careful , she can be a little mordacious , pernicious & despotic sometimes .  —- oh don’t look like that , they’re usually magisterial , gregarious & winsome most of the time . ✏ kaya , 22 , she/her , pst

tw: death, drugs

P A R A L L E L S

fallon carrington ( dynasty ) , serena van der woodsen ( gossip girl )

T R O P E S

attention whore , alpha bitch , manipulative bitch , hard-drinking party girl , parental neglect , sugar and ice personality , rich bitch , i just want to be loved , dainty little ballet dancers

S U M M A R Y

        the rothschild’s were the kind of family whose priorities were solely focused on their conglomerate, one that they had been building upon for generations. and while brynn and her siblings understood the magnitude of what their father did, it still didn’t provide any respite to his lack of attention. their mother doted upon them, showering them in adoration that they cherished up until her passing. at first they thought their mother’s death might have been the bridge that would have finally brought them into their father’s world, but it instead became another chasm between them, one that none of them were able to cross.

        their younger years were spent together, only having each other to rely upon and for awhile that was enough. they thrived in their studies, making it a point to be at the top of their classes in the hopes that their father would acknowledge them if they were successful, even if the moment itself would be fleeting. but as more award ceremonies were missed and another ballet recital forgotten, brynn became the first one to lose faith in ever building a relationship with their father.

        her acts of attention-seeking rebellion started off tame, with her arriving way past curfew, knowing her father would be none the wiser regardless. but when her father began showing interest in the two eldest siblings, declan and claire, while still ignoring the rest of them, she began her steady spiral of descent. she attended parties throughout the week and never came home until well into the next day, always looking worse for wear. social gatherings began to pass in a haze as she’d arrive intoxicated, always bordering on causing a scene until one of her siblings would pull her to the side to sober up. classes were ditched and her grades started to slip but it wasn’t until she started hanging out with the wrong crowd that her father showed any signs of acknowledging her little rebellion.

        with a new crowd of people encouraging her, showering her in the attention she had craved her whole life, her spiral into drugs happened quick and fast, with her not caring enough to stop it. while her father wasn’t aware about how far she had fallen, her siblings were and they attempted to stop the fast pace her life had taken on before she’d inevitably crash. but unfortunately for them, crash she did.

        finally deciding to become somewhat involved with his daughter’s life, brynn was shipped off to a school for troubled youth, spending her remaining high school years there until she was finally able to apply to university. she was no longer competitive enough for her old dream schools, a fact that loomed over head as if it were a thundercloud, but after a discussion with her older sisters, she tried her hand at applying for abroad schools, realizing that they were probably right when they said a change of pace and new scenery would do her some good.

        the distance the atlantic ocean provided between her and her father was like nirvana for the blonde. no one in larnswick knew her and while they had zero expectations for her, she found it refreshing to be able to live a life where she wasn’t aiming for somebody’s acknowledgement. her accomplishments became her own and the new start left her developing a reputation for hedonism that fit well with the reputation of the avenue.

        while most of her rebellious actions were left behind in her teenage years, the charismatic persona brynn presents to the world is half fabricated and half reality. with a winsome and gregarious nature that left you wanting to listen to what she had to say, it’s easy to overlook her biting remarks when they’re not directed towards you. lashing out became second nature whenever she felt cornered or like her control was slipping, remnants from a childhood of having to protect herself from the disappointment her father always brought her. selfish and needy, she has a tendency to seek affection and validation even if she won’t outright ask for it nor return it.

Q U I C K  F A C T S

chose to pursue political science bc homegirl is highkey power hungry af and a control freak and just rly wants to be a politician

probably focusing on international relations or sum

use to be an avid ballerina and probably posts tik toks of her teaching stretching tips and ways to increase flexibility or how to get better arches???? but also these tik tok’s probably don’t show her face so ig no one would be none the wiser unless they watched her film them or something

god she craves attention sm and isn’t above getting it through unsavory ways????

that girl who is always D O W N. want to take another shot? sure, she’s with you. want to take a few more hits on a bong?? leggo. want to go on a spontaneous adventure at 3 am??? B E T.

that dramatic bitch who will answer the door in a silk robe looking like a wholeass widow who probably murdered her husband but acts nonchalant about it. idk how to describe the aesthetic but you know what i’m talking about with the wine glass in hand and everything

once shattered a chandelier from her family’s home and posted a pic of it on instagram with some angsty caption and a black and white filter

probably the closest she ever got to having an emo phase lbr

that bitch who is always like “not to be dramatic but....” 

also is the same dramatic bitch who WILL leave you threats ( or loving messages ) on your mirror in lipstick

grege 1947 by dior if we’re being specific

you can find her pinterest board here !!

i have a wip stats page here and a connection page here

also pls hmu to plot i am begging

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids” 4 times in 1 week and here are my thoughts

carmen your nightgown is like 200 years old, get a new one

you clearly know this story by heart, you’re saying parts of it. why are you questioning what “take him out” means

a double wig should be more obvious than that

we can see that that’s a glass elevator. people can see you changing, ingrid

nice hat

why did you kill the swan

is that paul rudd???????

how are jets ripping pages out of a book

heart shaped parachutes shouldn’t be working that well

why is there a guitar on your bed. how do you sleep

i think the kids would have seen the track in the floor at SOME point

why is there a jungle gym in their house. i know they’re spies but who has a jungle gym.... in their HOUSE

carmen you’re a frog

i think juni just legitimately try to kill carmen

why are both parents going to school. is that like, a Thing????

juni how do you do that

who puts a video screen in the front seat

hey look its floop. love that guy

they’re not picking on you for the bandages, it’s cuz you brought the toys OUTSIDE your backpack. always put them inside. trust me

did his mirror just.... zoom in?????

h*ck yeah beat him up greg

do all the other kids hate him too??????

dang that hurt

“chief” that’s so white

stupid kid. his dads a spy

that floop doll isn’t even close to accurate

hey look its floop again. love that dude

Big Willy Wonka Energy

oooh skipping numbers i see. love that

why do the subtitles have “mr. floop” as his name. its just floop, yall

“sometimes in order to think big you have to think small” pretty inspirational tbh

oh hes fidgeting!!!!!! love that

woah what are you doing this is rated pg ingrid

i wish my uncles would tell me im shrinking. they just make small talk abt school 😔

this gradenko lady looks like jan from the office

hey its floop again!!!!! love that dude

yes juni. its a fire drill in your own home

these dudes have a jungle gym AND a pool. what the h*ck

why did you pull off your mustache to prove you’re not related. if anything that makes you more related. greg does that too

why did he put the mustache back ON

where did those boats come from

carmen says manual weird. man-yull

right, cuz adrenaline causes warts

“don’t touch anything” *immediately touches everything*

basic boat ettiquette: don’t shit in the boat. those toilets can’t handle anything

is that globe..... punched in???????

floop!!!!!!! love that dude

feet on the desk????? i dunno seems pretty gay

since when did carmen get keys to that

i might be wrong but i dont think thats every country

what does pressure have to do with positioning a laser

this floor is the best mechanic in the whole movie. reminds me of a richie rich comic i had as a kids

why did they not run into the wall. i wanted to see that

is the slide there when floop films his show????

HEY ITS FLOOP!!!! love that dude

theres a bunch of normal food like.... sour worms. why did they pick the slime from charlie and the chocolate factory when johnny depp finds the oompa loompas

thats a sick coat. best one in the movie

that was a good snap. nice acoustics

God what a power move. something thanos would say

listen floop i love you but thats not how you say research

fELIX NO

and hes gone. cool

did she kick the camera?????

haha author unknown. cuz hes a spy

why did you take that one specifically????? plot convenience????

he can still be a spy, just not a good one. learn to read

is that supposed to be a question?????

FUN FACT if you listen closely when carmen says “like felix said” you can hear a weird cut in “said”, almost like its a new clip

theres no keyhole

i think juni can read. why are you spelling it

did you have the floop toys in your pocket????

OKAY THIS SCENE WHERE THEY PLAY IT BACKWARDS?????? THAT MESSED ME UP AS A KID 

what do those things do?????

i can feel the pain from the fan blades

how did that break the chain????

why would you annouce that. they can hear you. just because they’re thumbs doesn’t mean they’re deaf

that’s a thing, not a place

FLOOP!!!!! ON A BILLBOARD!!!! love that dude

how are you slipping. shes holding YOU

YOU DROPPED HIM GENIUS

how do people not notice the jetpack dudes

DOES NO ONE CARE THAT CLOTHES WERE STOLEN

that’s a cute coat

why is the lady cool with carmen just... doing that

HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!! AND THAT DUDE!!!!!

ofc you can’t think “straight enough” you’re gay

why is mexico sepia tone

when do you think juni had time to change and learn a new language

IF IT HURTS TO HIT HIM, S T O P

i wanna be on that merry-go-round

HOW DO YOU K N O W THAT HIS CODE NAME. WHY “MUST” IT BE HOMBRE

i love how junis just like “we already got a fake uncle”

LOOK AT HOW FLOOP IS SITTING!!!!!!!! THATS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!

ALSO MORE FLOOP!!!! say it with me, LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

minion looks like barry from friends

wait i lied this coat is better

we DO have uncles like that!!!!!

if your inventions are so good why is your font so BORING

hey wait carmen said that. hmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

glowsticks dont help you see like at all

the map looks like gallifreyan but its not. spy kids is older than the doctor who reboot

they go ZOOM

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY MANUAL!!!!!!!

great job carmen YOU wrecked the plane

WHATS A REGULATOR

oh its just a breathing thing

haha pee joke. funney

where are the brains coming from???? that factory is Not Correct

if i were juni i would look back over all the floop’s fooglies tapes and see what the agents were saying backwards. once the mission was done, ofc

it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what sknaht meant the first time

SEE THIS MECHANIC IS GOOD BC NOW THERES NO PLEXIGLASS

WHY DOES NO ONE RUN INTO THE WALL

F L O O P  I S  G O D

love that dude

you discussed with the spy parents that juni watched the show. he just told you that you took his parents. you KNOW this is juni, why are you surprised that he watches it????? you already know!!!!!!

tbh i kinda want some of those colorful chains. they’d look cool somewhere

haha voice crack

no wonder your shows not doing well. those are awful times

why is there a sexy thumb nurse. why did floop make the thumb nurse sexy

use her first name?????? you’re clearly dating

!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!

he cares so much about this show!!!!!! its so sweet!!!! love that dude

YEP THIS COAT IS BETTER, LOOKS A M A Z I N G IN A RUNNING SCENE

haha you killed carmen

ok this scene with the acid crayon is like my absolute favorite. something about using a crayon to escape and then floop (love that dude) opening the door a second later and then doing a double take. FAVE

wheres belize

ok so apparently its a country by mexico

no you CANT tell her you need to ESCAPE

we finally got a clean outside shot of the castle.... that place is wack

haha minion can’t sit in the hand chair correctly because hes STRAIGHT what a loser

hey juni HOW DO YOU DO THAT

minion you know what the robot costumes look like AND what juni looks like. dont be stupid

what..... what do you want carmen for, exactly, minion??????

floop is supportive of others’ art!!!!!!!!!!! love that dude

HE SAID “WHERE’S MOM AND DAD” LIKE THEY’RE HIS OWN PARENTS THAT’S SO C U T E

ALSO ANOTHER SCENE WITH THE GREAT RUNNING COAT

he says doppelganger beautifully

“its too late” that timing was BEAUTIFUL

you COULD take 500 brains out if you just TRIED HARDER. still love that dude

his control panel has buttons that spell “floop”

WHY CAN MINION TALK NORMAL

if its reversible why do you have it in later movies

carmen fights fake juni and juni fights fake carmen because they didnt have the fancy clone (?) technology

THREE TIMES!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL T H R E E  T I M E S THIS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!

nice censorship

HOW DID MACHETE SMASH ONLY THE CLEAR WINDOWS AND A L L THE CLEAR WINDOWS THERE ARE NO MORE CLEAR WINDOWS!!!!!! ANYWHERE!!!!!

wow nice 3 buttons thats totally how you hack

oh look they have all died

oh. guess not :((

machete you better rip off your mustache

HES GOING TO JUNIS LEVEL TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!! HE RUFFLED HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!! HES GONNA MAKE A GREAT DAD!!!!!!!

wow no shit ingrid

did he leave his wart bandaid on the kitchen counter?????

ALAN CUMMING!!!! ON A CEREAL BOX!!!!

ok CLEARLY other people watch floop’s show, he’s rated number 2. kids at the school are gonna recognize juni and carmen. they better get popular

is that george clooney

well that’s not how it works in spy kids 2. or 3. or 4. or the tv show

[bibliomint]

well?? at least his face is nice

So i visited my college for a scholarship dinner and spent the night to meet professors and other incoming freshmen the next day

and at the dinner i met a v nice boi whose name is Noah & who is an accounting major

hes v tol & nice and attractive; has brown eyes/brown hair and a v nice nose--it’s the same width from the bridge to the tip and honestly im usually like “eh noses we all have them they stick out of your face” but that evening i was like “damn thats a nice nose”

anyway

his parents are also there bc duh their 5th out of 8 kids is getting free money why wouldn’t you be there

he’s very extroverted. he’s the type to know everything about everyone. conversation isn’t difficult, because we have some things in common and he’s v nice

things are going ok until the Head of the Psych Department, Dr W sits down with us (which isn’t uncommon a lot of staff/prof’s joined people) and asks me what my major is

I say biopsychology (aka neuropsychology, aka the science side of psych)

His parents are like “??? what is that” and I look at Dr W bc of course she would be the best at explaining it 

but she just looks at me

and tells me to explain it

at this point i'm still trying to adjust to being around this many new people. im overwhelmed. im exhausted (i had been awake since 5:30 that morning and it was close to 7 in the evening and we had been driving for 4 1/2 hours). i don’t know anyone except my mother, and she is never any help.

after i try to explain my own major that i only kinda know in any sort of depth, Noah decides it's a good time to join Dr W and g r i l l  m e 

for at least 20 minutes i feel like I'm under the microscope and if i say one wrong or suspicious thing they’ll instantly lose all respect they have for me

i try several times to turn the conversation to him but neither of them budge

i have never been so uncomfortable in my life

finally, finally, Dr W decides it’s enough and takes pity and turns the conversation to Noah, who easily answers all the questions while i silently die in my seat all over again bc wow why couldn’t i have just been made to be extroverted why is basic communication this difficult for me

eventually all incoming freshmen are sent off to another room to form a line and take pictures with the president with their scholarship

so we’re standing in the messy line and he looks down at me (im not short. im average -- 5′5 with 2′’ heels) and we talk in hushed tones about nothing really at all; this one guy his sister dated who was absolutely massive, what i thought about this one guy wearing suspenders, how i constantly reminded him of someone else he knew and it was super weird, what i thought about this other guy rocking a man bun, and how differently people interpreted the dress code.

he was like “yeah no the dress code thing is interesting. some people just don’t look professional enough?? like those skirts *nods in a specific direction to a girl wearing an A-line skirt* are good and then pantsuits [what i was wearing] are good too but some things....eh. hbu what do you think about that guy, the one in black.”

“i dig it”

“how about the grey one”

“eh.”

“how bout the blue one? it's a safe choice”

“*quiet nod in agreement*”

the conversation dies for a moment, and then i'm like “idk man i think the red is my favorite its v sharp”

"oh cool” and he gets quiet bc hes the only one wearing red and im like,,, did i say something wrong it was a compliment i'm not trying to flirt not really??? idek know you

and then the atmosphere is ok again bc he’s just that good at it

i work up the nerve to ask him when his birthday is bc im inwardly dying to know bc i have my Suspicions™

he quirks an eyebrow (i'm not even kidding he does) and goes “the end of march i just turned 19 hbu”

i barely hear him my mind is going Too Fast Too Furious

and i'm like “the beginning of march i just turned 18″

and he’s like “oh cool congrats”

and my brain is on autopilot and i'm like “thanks u too that's also cool”

but all i can think of is hes an aries oh my gods it all makes sense now

[askmyboys]

M o r e characters (they aren’t related tho!)

I really should keep up with posting my characters when their done so oop- here y’all go enjoy a good man and a bastard (derogatory) | Name: Gordon Goodman

| Nicknames: Gord, Don, or Gordo

| Gender: He/Him and They/Them

| Age: 30

| Height: 8’2”

| Species/Race: Unknown

| Hair Color: Bubblegum Pink (his hair is usually in a man bun or a ponytail)

| Eye Color: Black (his eyes are literally like googly eyes, the pupils are usually in opposite spots of each other)

| Skin Color/Body Type: He’s pretty pale and he’s VERY lanky and to be honest it almost seems like he hasn’t got any bones in his body the way he can bend, stretch, etc (another thing to note, a lot of his body is just,, l e g s- bigem legs fdjksljfd)

| Appearance: His main outfit is literally a rainbow one, he’s got a rainbow suit on, pants to match and even somehow rainbow looking oxford shoes (he got ‘em custom made) and imma tell you rn it isnt a soft/light/pastel rainbow, its fuckin FULL ON burn your retinas bright- But… If your eyes are sensitive to bright colors he carries around a certain case (it’s got his other outfit that he prepared just in case someone’s eyes are too sensitive and hurt by bright colors) his secondary outfit is a light blue suit vest with a long sleeved light pink shirt underneath it, his pants also match the undershirt and his shoes are pink n blue oxfords (he does wear a pink n blue bowtie as well, it's much more soft light almost pastel colors tbh) They don’t have any inhuman features honestly, no fangs, nothing the only thing inhuman about them is the fact they seem so toon like and can do many things humans just cannot. He also doesn’t have a beard or any sorta facial hair either (hes babyfaced p much)

| Personality: I’ll be blunt, Gordon here is 100% a himbo, he’s super sweet, kind, caring but not very intelligent- he’s got a heart of gold and a smol brain (sometimes he can actually say some intelligent stuff but then like not even a few seconds later he won’t even remember saying any of that) despite being so lanky he seems to be VERY strong as he can pick up very heavy objects that a normal human couldn’t, he can also fit and squeeze into places most people couldn’t thanks to this ability, honestly there’s not much to him backstory wise, he didn’t have no traumatic past or any trauma really! Sure, I mean, there have been people who have been mean n awful to him BUT he still treated them kindly even then, he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body! Not cruel, not sadistic, not evil, none of that! He’s just a Goodman! (heh) a 10/10 boy

Who could do no harm to anyone, if they try to get physical with him he’ll legit just pick them up and hold them in a hug instead like “Shh! It’s okay, we don’t hafta fight…! I’m sure all ya need is a nice big hug!” but ye that’s about it for personality wise stuff.

| Side Facts: Likewise he has a lot of toon abilities, for an example- He has once pulled a flower out of his ear (which made his eyes rattle and roll around before falling back into place) and has handed it to someone, don’t worry the flower was as clean as it could be- It’s not only flowers though, he can pull anything out of his head essentially (bigger items though take a lot out of him and it’s a lot harder to pull those out so pls try to stick with smaller themed items) it’s not that he can’t because if he were determined enough he could pull something as big as a fucking sofa from his mind if he so desired ...but he’s never had to do that before- That’s p much his item summoning ability and how it’s done.

He’s super stretchy, flexible, and even moldable! He’s like a contortionist but probs without any limits whatsoever, he can bend, twist, etc- Hell, bc his body is mostly legs- He can legit without even having to balance on his hands just fall backwards to look at you, he usually has a grin on his face but with him it’s not spooky at all tbh- he’s just a bright, happy, outgoing and friendly dude! He loves to have a smile on his face but more importantly he loves to put a smile on others faces! Now that being said, he does understand sadness is a thing, anger, etc- And it can’t just magically go away, heck- while he doesn’t usually feel much anger- He does get sad sometimes himself! Even if he gives someone a hug, holds their hand, or anything he knows that won’t automatically make everything better or okay, he might be a himbo but if there’s ONE thing he understands it’s feelings and emotions ...Well he understands them to s o m e degree

He’ll be there for anyone who needs him though! If you want a hug he’ll wrap his arms around you! (if it's more of a snuggle, he’ll coil his arms around you ...pLEASE THO- remind him of how you have bones and your much more fragile than he bc he would never hurt anyone on purpose but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to accidents now does it?) or if you need someone to listen he’ll be happy to listen to you! If you need advice? ...H-He claims he’s not good at that but he has intelligent moments there sometimes but then he forgets what he says afterwards but he knows whatever happened it seemed like it helped so that makes him smile!

| Name: Darius Sullivan Gibson

| Nicknames: Dare, Sully, or Gibs

| Gender: He/Him

| Age: 39

| Height: 9ft (he IS hunched over a bit tho so he’d probs be 8’8” since he’s got them boots)

| Species/Race: uH- dEFINITELY NOT HUMAN FOR DAMN SURE

| Hair Color: Black (his hair has got a lil curly bit in front and that’s what I’ll give ya, a lil curly swirl jgfkdslfdj)

| Eye Color: Dark Green

| Skin Color/Body Type: Ghostly pale and he’s VERY large and wide, hims a BIG B I G man, this man is shaped like a fuckin B L O C K fghjdksljfhdk

| Appearance: His main outfit is a long black trench coat (a leather one) he usually doesn’t keep it buttoned either with a dark green turtleneck underneath it, he also wears a black ribbon tie and his pants match his turtleneck and he wears heeled black leather chelsea boots and he also wears a black cartwheel hat, he also wears fingerless gloves that match his turtleneck/pants. He has a fairly thick beard and sideburns (not really a long one but its just,, well, t h i c k) he has long pointed ears, multiple green tongues, some green tentacles (its that dark green shade, bright colors are b a d for him), and even a weird black tail that has a green fluffy bit at the end, and all his teeth are sharp but he has two particular sets of fangs top and bottom in his mouth that stand out more so than the rest of his teeth. And of course, he has sharp black claws as well (even though you can’t necessarily see it on his hands, his fingers are purely black, the best way to describe it is just pure dark energy lmao). And finally he doesn’t really have prominent scars but there’s scars LITTERED all across his body.

| Personality: Oof he’s baad, like- purely disgusting- literally tbh- He’s a smug, cocky, and arrogant bastard- He thinks EXTREMELY highly of himself, perhaps he has a God Complex even tbh- But also when I say he’s purely disgusting, this man smells like so many things and NONE of them are good- he’s also a murderer (it isn’t technically cannibalism but he does eat humans), he’s cruel, sadistic, and evil af- A bad bad slasher man, his favorite weapons are a cane, knives, or guns tbh- But then again those are just favorites- he’ll use ANYTHING he can as a weapon tbh, hell he’d pick up a random human and use them as a baseball bat to another- he’s also flirtatious but in a bad dark way, one example is he’ll flirt with you by literally stating how he’d love to just eat you up ...and you might think oh how sweet but um n o, he means it, just- come near him, stick your arm into his enclosure and see what happens hjfdksjdfks- you’ll be missing an arm-

Would easily use you like a lollipop tbh- oh god he’s gonna commit the b i t e of 87 hjfdkslkjdfs- he’s just, god he’s so awful- i wanna punch my own creation but he could easily defeat me and he would tbh, he’d be the one to challenge and fuckin kill god, there can be o n l y one fjkdclsjkd there is no tragic backstory btw, he’s straight up just a slasher, murders because he thinks its fun and everyone is so weak and pathetic compared to him!

There is no “befriending” this man, BUT… If he does grow “fond” of you then you’d more than likely be nothing more than a mere pet to him and nothing more or a possession even but if you're in his possession, a pet of his… You’ve definitely got the b e s t protection you could ever get in your life ...Well from ANYONE else, from him though? I mean, it's still risky, he IS a killer so just bear it in mind okay?

| Side Facts: Another thing he’d do, bc he smokes a LOT of cigars and I mean a l o t, he’ll legit bend down JUST so he can blow cigar smoke directly in your face, he also might put a cigar out using your head while also calling you a good little ashtray ...the more I talk about him the more I,, hate my own creation- i hate him purely and wholeheartedly

He lives in a place called Shademoor City and more specifically on a street called Brinewood, his street is definitely one for the not so nice ones of the city, like the further you go and closer you get to Brinewood St the more grotesque and nasty everything looks, and his “home” well it’s sorta more like a hideout area- He probs does have a mansion somewhere bc he uh he I S a rich man, what he did/might be doing to earn said money? ...Eh don’t worry about it- but if he does that mansion is EXTREMELY far away from Brinewood Street.

He’s more so a night owl but very rarely will you actually see him in the daylight, the nighttime is just the easiest to strike at, after all- it's so easy to hide within the shadows, hide in the alleyways and wait for unsuspecting prey to walk by.

He has a black cane with a skull on top of it and fun fact, it’s not just a cane haha fuck youuu!! Its also a SWORD B I T C H! (to him, swords are just bigger and fancier knives, either way, it still kills the victim!)

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z BX (cix)

🔅requested by: @bruisedbananas thanks 👀a whole lot👀 for requesting this hehe🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

super fucking snuggly and happy. he takes great care when cleaning everywhere not to neglect you too, so he often innocently showers with you (even if it’s annoying that you can’t both get water at the same time) and takes the sheets off the bed when you’re doing your night routine. he thinks sharing water is a romantic activity (in a jokey but also not jokey kind of way) so that’s always a thing too.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on you, he likes your jawline and ears (is this just me being hopeful?) did you guys see that dance video thingy where he went straight for seunghun’s ear to kiss it 👀🤚🏼. this man loveeessss kissing and biting your ears and seeing the effect it has on you.

on him, he loves his eyes/eyebrows. they’re so expressive and let you know EXACTLY what he wants. he might get a little shy telling you, but he knows that you know just from looking into his eyes. he loves that they have that effect on everyone xo.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

anything that will make a mess. doesn’t really want to finish inside you unless you fully agree to it and you’ve spoken about it. he feels it’s much safer and a lot more satisfying to cum on your face or on your back. he likes that way it looks, when he looks at it, it’s a reminder of how he felt and usually makes him wanna go for another round straight after.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he prefers getting head to actual vaginal or anal sex. not that he’s selfish, he will always pleasure you. he just prefers the way it feels, the way you look, the eye contact brings him closer to the edge than eye contact during “actual” sex. god he just loves wet sloppy head and fucking your pretty little face until you ✨cry✨.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think he’s had 1 or 2 partners but he’s not all that experienced. like he maybe did it once with each one. but he receives head every week because he can- he knows what to do when you suck him off lol.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes doggy but nothing will ever, EVER beat good old missionary. he likes “accidentally” leaving his chain on and watching it hit you as he fucks you. wow he’s so kind. in this position, he can also give you as much attention as you wish and has easy access to all of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t say humorous but definitely smiley. he loves you, he loves doing naughty things with you, he loves making you his, of course he’s gonna be happy.

when he’s in one of his super horny moods though… an expression change is very unlikely, let alone a positive, happy, smiley one.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

tends to just leave it and just go natural. sometimes he’ll shave completely but he doesn’t really like it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

it depends entirely on his mood. most sex is sloppy and sleepy but romantic and soft, with lots of praise and “i love you”s thrown around.

some sex is distant, with very little care for romance or softness. this is quite rare, but when it happens it’s very intense and unforgettable.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

probably does this quite frequently to relieve stress and just idk escape? usually does it at night when everyone else is asleep because he can get a little 🤫groany🤫 but like… in a good way.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

bdsm- knife play- i explained this a little more in the “risk” part but he lovesss the vulnerability this creates. the trust you’ve given him to do this makes him feel more connected to you romantically too. i mention this in the “volume” part but he likes to say nothing during knife play, behaving a little crazy just for your fantasy.

praise (giving)- when he’s in one of his soft moods, he loves to tell you how good you’re making him feel. his favourite thing to tell you is “there’s no one better at x than you”. he wants to make you feel like it’s all worth it and that he’s never going to leave you because you’re so good (but not in a manipulative way, like he’s serious about it).

gagging 👅- he gets off to you gagging on his dick because it really brings it home that he’s THAT big. he also likes makes you suck on his fingers, especially while he’s fucking you, so sometimes they accidentally (on purpose) go a little too far down and would you look at that, you’re gagging again.

maybe also daddy kink 👉🏼👈🏼 but he doesn’t wanna be basic so he never lets on.

urophilia- ok don’t hate me bc i wrote this (bc we do not kink shame in this house) but i do think 😳 he’d be more than down for showering you in his piss. of course this has to be something you’re into and comes into play only when you’ve discussed it a whole bunch and when you’re both in the mood to do it. he’s not just gonna piss on you for funsies.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

at the dorms in his shared ;) room. maybe you’ll get caught, maybe you won’t 🤷🏻‍♀️. he likes both of you being comfortable too so somewhere like his bed is preferable (he won’t use their beds tho that’s not his style)

also likes public toilets but only clean ones lol bc dirty ones can really dampen the mood. restaurant toilets 👀👀 after you’ve put your hand on his crotch 👀👀 after HE put his hand on your thigh when he knew you were horny even before you left the house 👀👀

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

pretty much everything. you could do something completely innocent and he’d be like “what are you doing? are you doing that on purpose?” and ur like no i’m just ?? washing the dishes. but he’s too turned on by this point to care about your response anyway. most likely in these instances, if you’re not up for it, he can contain himself or takes it elsewhere to deal with it alone

when you lick your lips or bite them… that’s the thing that gets him going the most. in that moment, he just wants to feel your lips wrapped around him until he busts all over your face.

he also gets really turned on when you laugh and smile at him but he’s yet to work out if that’s a sexual thing or not

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i said he likes gagging you with his dick and his fingers but he would never take is as far as making you throw up. a real big turn off, even if he’s never experienced it he knows he doesn’t like it. of course he’d help clean up if it did happen (if he could stomach it) but he’d never do it on purpose and all sexual activity would stop there for the time being.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

as i said before he likes nothing more than being sucked off. he likes putting his hand under your chin or the back of your head and forcing your head down further. he’s quite verbal when his dick is getting sucked but he’s sick of telling you to look at him so he makes you look at him by putting his hands on either side of your head and tilting it up occasionally.

his skills with his tongue are no fucking joke. he could be down there for just 30 seconds sometimes and you’ve already cum over his face. it makes him super happy when you get giggly and excited when he goes to eat you out.

he understands that some people don’t really like to receive, so he’ll only do it if you want him to, but after he’s finished you’ll be wanting him to go back down on you again and again.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think he would be quite sloppy ngl. so he doesn’t really have a set pace, just a happy medium for himself. he can get quite rough when he’s not tired, especially when he’s about to cum.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he likes the risk factor of a quickie in say public toilets for example, but the quickie itself doesn’t really do much for him. unless of course, you’ve teased him enough to only last those few minutes (but the teasing is more likely to be the other way around wink wink)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

with the right person, yes. he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to accept whatever he wants to do so he doesn’t experiment that much, but he’d like to. i think he’d like to bring bdsm into the bedroom but only if you’re 100% okay with it.

talking to eve makes me think he likes knives YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME?! like he’d love to show you the blunt knife, blindfold you, and then gently drag it across your skin. of course this would take a lot of practice to perfect but he thinks it would be worth it for you if you get stimulated by knives.

he kinda likes the idea of getting caught too. like if it actually happened he’d probably be mortified but the possibility of one of the other members walking in on him fucking you ugh he loves it. kinda thinks he could teach people how to fuck you right if they ever caught you too but is NOT prepared for that to happen lmao. also not prepared to share you either :)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2 rounds. he gets turned on thinking back on what just happened and wants it again almost immediately. byounggon sex god me thinks. like no other man hehe.

although he doesn’t last too long the second time. his stamina is probably cut by 5 minutes and there is far less foreplay involved.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

not really a fan of toys. would much rather see you get off to him and him alone. i lowkey think he would get jealous if you used a toy lol. would go to the extent of hiding all your toys and acting oblivious when you couldn’t find them. “oh well, i’ll guess you’ll just have to use this instead”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

a whole lot. A WHOLE LOT. and he realises it. like i said, his eyes do all the talking, even if he is teasing you, you know what’s about to happen anyway. he’s probably gonna toy with you and tease you even before foreplay, just so you beg for even the slightest touch. he’s got you wrapped around his little finger, but it’s only fair since you have him wrapped around your little finger.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s actually not too loud, except for when he cums. at that point, he’s groaning and almost whimpering. sometimes he does it as a warning to make you stop sucking his dick because he doesn’t wanna drag your head away when your mouth feels so good.

during intense sessions, he’s silent during sex. both you and him agree that it adds to this “crazy guy” persona that he takes on and it stimulates you both a lot. you being the only one moaning can make you feel a little insecure, a little vulnerable, and it’s something you both enjoy in the moment.

for less intense sessions, he will sprinkle a little bit of dirty talk and praise because ur doing good and he wants you to know that he likes what you’re doing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he leaned down a little, his length naturally coming out of your mouth.

“kiss me” he growled. you sat up a little, lips meeting his for the nth time that night. he pulled away abruptly and replaced his lips with his dick once again.

“open” he pried your mouth open with the tip and looked down at you in admiration. “how much are you gonna take this time?” he asked, smirking.

“all of it” you managed to muffle out.

you felt his hand come to your chin, firmly grabbing it and forcing your head down further. he always tells you he’s going to be gentle, but the only gentle thing you can feel in his thumb stroking your cheek absentmindedly. you’re afraid to mention it in case it stops.

“i’d like to see you try” he responded between subtle groans.

you’d been trying for a few minutes, yet you could only take half, and by now he could see it wasn’t working, time for a new method. he pulled away from your mouth and hinted that you should lie on the bed, which you did so immediately.

“turn over” he demanded “and have your head over this side” you patted the edge of the bed. you lay on your back, head dangling over the side, waiting for him.

“you might cry” he warned, before attempting to put the entirety of his dick down your throat. you gagged and he backed away, pleased with himself.

“again” he warned, repeating the action. “you’re taking my cock so well”. he’d done it, you’d taken it all, multiple times. he quickened his pace, your throat already feeling sore.

soon, he completely forgot about warning you, you were too dazed to register it anyway. there was spit all over your face, all over the bed surrounding you, all over him, who was a few seconds away from cumming. he managed to pull away from your mouth in time, releasing his cum all over your naked upper half.

“look at the mess here” he groaned “you’re such a naughty little girl” he said while making his way around the bed, getting ready to give you the best treatment you’d ever receive.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

👀 okay so first of all he’s in cix soooo we all know that they’re ALL blessed.

i think he’d be just a little over average length but girthy as FUCK. he likes using the phrase “stretch you out” because he knows his dick is phat lol.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

when he’s with you, his brain doesn’t immediately go to sex, but he is constantly horny (like most people let’s be real). he’s down to do it when ever you are, it’s less about when he wants it and more about when he can have it (do u get me i feel like that was v broad lol)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he REALLY wants to stay awake and cuddle with you but he’s tired. like super tired. as soon as his head hits the pillow he’s out like a light.

i'd just like to clarify that i think he can switch between hard dom and soft dom, that’s why there’s not one real heavy focus in this (not that there always has to be roles anyway ofc). but either way he’s definitely a dom and he’s almost always one for dom/sub sex (wth is the phrase for that omfg)

[swearronchanel]

Finally got around to 7.02

Back at it again with more of my commentaries that no one asked for, I just have a lot to say watching Call The Midwife ok!

Better late tha never, let’s get this started

Skipping the credits bc I’m impatient

Val serving a look! even tho it’s all blue

Shelagh’s perfect 60s kitchen is a dream 😍 looks just like the blue of the Petries’ in the Dick Van Dyke Show

Shelagh Turner is so adorable

New hairstyle for Val coming soon?

Trixie looking like a BABE

Her extensions on point! I’m jealous

“Mine looks terribly realistic” LMAO I LOVE WINNIE

Love the 60s salon decor lol

Poor Sister Winnifred needs a car😂

Ugh choke on that whistle Woolfe

“Iced buns” Run away boobs, look out 😂

GTFO! “Looking like she just got off the boat” BITCHHH!!!

People still love to tell me to straighten my hair and that’s my natural hair is too frizzy and messy, fuck you. *”beyonce!?” video voice* Lucille sweetie I’m sorry an ugly b*tch would even say that

This shit already pissing me off ugh, I know I’m white passing and it gives me privilege but my dad and lot of my family doesn’t and I get upsetttt thinking that they prob hear shit like this or have before(as SO many people do),, like I will throw hands

That goes for anyone tbh, 0 tolerance for racism. It angers me everyday

Val’s still in rollos loll, ugh I wanna get my hair done soon

am I immature or are Sister W’s sock puppets are funny as hell?😂😂

I love Sister Winnie tho she deserves more

Yass gal being your man he needs to be involved

Aww baby

BEATRIX !!! 😍 THIS IS A L O O K

I LOVE IT SM

ALSO Christopher is still a babe and he has a new car?? Sugar daddyyy 🤑

“My parents tried their best but domestic science wasn’t really on the syllabus at casa mia” LMFAO I AM TRIXIE

if only I was that gorgeous and fabulous

I love Val & Trixie’s banter 😂😘

“Not so long ago I thought I’d never be happy again and yet here I am. The human heart is really most resilient.” Oh Trixie I need to hear that.

Yes Lucille knock some sense into them

Sister Monica Joan, an 80-odd nun in the 60s is legit more open minded than an entire population in this country *cough cough Tr*mp & his disgusting supporters*

WHO PICKED THIS UGLY OUTFIT FOR SHELAGH? I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU

“She grew up in a communist country I doubt that’s conducive to a cheerful disposition.” LMAO

Lol my baby cousin is named Magdalena

“Her type” YOU MEAN A HUMAN. SHE’S A HUMAN. FROM THE CARIBBEAN.

THANK YOU VAL FOR THE DEFENSE IMA FLIP

O m f g I WANT TO FIGHTTTTT THIS MOTHER

Oh shit a stroke!!??

Lucille grabbing Val’s hand 😭

Sister MJ’s eyes😭😭

I forget you could smoke even in hospitals and planes back then

How is Teddy this big already? 

SHELAGH’S FACE LMAOO intimidated by Magda

She’s a Catfish but for the better

Trixie again 😍 love that dress too!

I want her hair ugh

LMAO BURNT ASS GRAEPFRUIT 

Yass Magda you’ve been living your best life, I need to get like you

“Everyone knows English coffee is very bad” LMAOO I LOVE HER ALREADY??

but also we know the best coffee is from the Caribbean & Columbia

“Better than what I’m used too” LMAO PATRICK YOU GONNA GET IT BOY

Shelagh’s faces I’m so ded

Time to step up your wardrobe tho Shelagh, Magda can’t upstage you in your own home

“Life really can change in the blink of an eye.” You’re telling me Phyllis

WINNIE LMAO putting her hand to her heart is me at every little thing

What happened to the cute nightgowns you owned Shelagh? cancel the moo moos

“You might want to put on a cardigan. You’re not on the continent now.” LMAO WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

like shoulders aren’t scandalous tf 😂 or is it bc it’s chilly? Either way Shelagh is so pressed, I die😂 

don’t worry bby she don’t want your man lmao, no need to be worried

Damn calling her an invalid right in front of her Dr T? kinda fucked up

aw this poor husband 😭

guess who still hates Mrs Stanton? yo

she’s pregnant and dropped a pound and I go to the gym and cannot? what the hell

The bonchinche (gossip) at the salon is so realistic lol, it’s usually the hairdressers spilling the tea here when you go to people you know😂👏🏼

Shelagh in another dowdy outfit why!?

The costume designers doing Laura Main so dirty this series, she deserves better

I know she is not Trixie or Val but she can wear cute outfits too!

Like the grey dress from 6.2! The Jackie Kennedy-esque suit! She had some looks and now she’s in these dull avena colors

Don’t @ me bc of this either^ I appreciate fashion and just looking nice, let me rock and complain 

“Filthy hands” Mrs Stanton boutta MEET MY TWO FISTS REAL SOON OMFG

“Proper English nurse”IM FUMINGGGGG

IDGAF she’s upset and wants to blame YOU DON’T GET TO JUSTIFY BEING RACIST

the black woman waiting just gave Lucille the most sad but understanding look my fucking heart

“It’s not up to you or Nurse Crane to decide how much unpleasantness I can bear.” FUCK YES LUCILLE BABE STICK UP FOR YOURSELF !!! TAKE NO SHIT

I L O V E H E R

Is their last name Romaine like the lettuce?

The track suit tho lolll

“The fears we have in the present often lie in the experiences of the past”😭yes

Can we call her Lucy? I love her

I feel you Val bb! I’m embarrassed that my country put literal evil garbage in the White House!!

Aw Val sorry bb

“I’ve had patients who won’t let me touch them bc they thought the blackness would rub off on their skin” set in 1963 and there’s still fucking disgusting people who act like this in 2018

🙌🏻👏🏼 LUCILLE ANDERSON

I’m glad ofc but ugh I hate when they resolve major/serious problems so quickly tbh

Omg I remember my hair was too short for braids so my mom would make me get “twisties” GOD THE PAIN I CAN STILL FEEL IT! AND THE RUBBER BANDS BREAKING AGAINST YOUR HEAD AHHH

Teddy omg the cutest

LMAO okay Tim, chill

A ROBERTS RADIO UGH I WANT ONEEE

Lmaoo Tim is tragic😂 he doesn’t get out much

Angela aw! An angel!

Magda serving a look aye

Where’s Shelagh to sing the toothbrush song?

The husband reminds me of a “who from whoville” loll

Occupational therapy clinic! Mika !! @nurse-franklin

Coq au vin? Chef Magda

“If you like that sort of thing” LMAO SALTYY AF

“Do I detect a tone?” LMAO OBVIOUSLY PATRICK, REASSURE YOUR WIFE SHE’S PRESSED

I’m laughing but really it’s not funny enough to drag it out lol, I hope Shelagh get’s over it quick

Lmaoo Shelagh a dress with her shoulders out and knees showing is not half dressed, calamate

Lol love her still

I do love her facial expressions too

But fr can she not wear all brown & whoever gave her the M’Lynn from Steel Magonlias hair? It gotta go

SISTER MJ AND LUCILLE MI CORAZÓN

“I could read to you”😭😭

Wait they play basketball?

Violet Buckle is under-appreciated and the Buckle family is too

Aw I’m proud of Marjorie’s husband

obvs hand in front of stomach placement ha

LMAO WINNIE STEALING THE CAR WHAT A THUG! GTA OUT HERE 😂

LMAO THIS DAD AW HE’S COACHING

PHYLLIS IN HER SKIRT BLESS, SHE’S GONNA BE PISSED THO LOLLL

He’s about to throw up I’m ded

Phyllis brought to tears about her, I feel 😂😭

Except my Bitch ass doesn’t have a car or license yet

“Wedding”😭

CAUGHT Lmaoo sorry Sis

“The longest paths lead into sunlight, when they are paved with love”😭😭

THESE DARLINGS BROUGHT FOOD I LOVEEE

Omfg do I see rellenos de papa?👀👀 

That food looks so good ugh I wish I had some home cooked food rn

Ahh man that’s it?

Till next week😭..

[kettlewrites]

teacher!woozi

he looks so hot in that gif i cry plus this is the first time i’ve ever done something like this please don’t hate me i can’t write fduvobfiu pls

okay let’s begin

so Jihoon is the talk of the town- well school- as everyone is getting into the new school year

“did u hear about the new choir teacher ???? i heard that his old students called him the spawn of satan”

“spawn of satan??? i think that’s a bit much.”

oM G it’ S hI m R u N

okay okay i’ll stop

he’s the new choir, music theory and piano teacher. the dudeo is a little music prodigy.

he transferred from a school across town bc he was tired of being in the same place for so long, plus his friends worked here too!!

literature teacher wonu, orchestra teacher joshua, and intro to dance teacher soonyoung recommended Jihoon to the principal and with his track record he was s E T

so, first day of school when the students piled into his, not decorated at all, choir room they were sh 0o k.

“is he the TA?” “why he is so smol???” “are you sure that’s a teacher??” “jENNI F E R shU T uP thAT i S toTal LY a StudEn T” “we’re in women’s choir right now kim.”

he greets the class, somewhat coldly “i’m your new teacher. okay let’s get started with warm ups”

everyone does not take him seriously, bc literally it’s a bunch of immature high schoolers who would take someone so smol and adorable very seriously then one day------ mr. lee (jihoon) had eNOU GH

“Mr. Lee where are our chairs?” “ *smiles* until you guys give me the respect, i have taken your chairs away. now warms up-” yes. he does this to every class, even his piano students and they are c r y i n g

after a good week, they respect him. they fear him, he made a student cry (accidentally) by making the entire choir stop singing to talk about how being off tune will bring down the entire score at competition (he wasn’t even singling the person out)

“okay, competition is in 3 weeks today guys. i know it’s difficult but we’ve gone over this part so many times now, so whoever is off tune please realize your mistakes and fix that so we don’t get points taken off for something so simple fixed.” *kim runs out of the room crying* “jennifer please go take care of that”

somehow from then to the end of the school year no one ever sings a cent off tune ever again

so! how do you get into this mess ? M U S IC AL SE A SON B E GINS

you, the also new and surprisingly loved advanced acting teacher, is casting the school year’s musical alongside V E RY loved dance teacher mr. kwon

auditions didn’t go as well as you were planning, the acting was amazing as you expected from your students so was the dancing... but the vocal talent was l a ck ing. so who do you go to ? obviously!! you don’t go anywhere because you were terrified of going to talk to jihoon who you had a crush on since the first day of teacher camp over the summer wait what hu H

soonyoung was like “we need to do something about this y/n, why don’t we ask jihoon? we could talk to him, i’ve been friends since high school”

your heart does a leap in your chest, we talk? ! ? but you wanted to win the high school musical competition (you’ve done it multiple years in a row at your old school, you were determined to do it here as well)

so push comes to shove, you were in the bare choir room that was empty aside from the classical music playing through a speaker somewhere in the room

you took a deep breath in and knocked on the door frame, since the door was open but he had his back turned towards you. once he heard your knock the (tenth) third time, he spun around in his spinny chair and almost fell out bc did an angel just walk into the room omg

“yes?”

“you’re jihoon right? uh soonyoung sent me bc we need help with the musical”

“tell soonyoung to go fu- you said we?”

“yeah, i’m directing and he’s choreographing and w e need help with the vocals, our actors aren’t up to par of where we need them.”

usually jihoon would tell the person to go away, bc he isn’t some charity to give help to whoever asks, but for some reason he !! just !! couldn’t !! say !! no !! to !! you !! (curse you soonyoung for sending a literal angel his way) so as he was trying to say he had no time to- somehow a yeah sure when do you want me to train them came out of his mouth.

and that’s how a friendship between you two blossomed ( even tho you two strictly told your friends and students who were super nosy that it was just a friendship everyone is like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) “sure miss. y/l/n. sure it is”

and it was !!! for the most part bc you two could not come to terms with each of your own feelings

then when tech week came you were S T R E S S E D bc

 1. 3/4 of your techies were very very very new to all of this and currently is being taught by one of the old techies who considered quitting during this week 

2. one of your leads has the flu and spread it to his co-actress (so it’s flu central)

3. THE ENSEMBLE DID NOT KNOW ANY OF THEIR LINES AND WHY DO THEY LOOK SO DEAD ON STAGE PLS LIVEN UP CHILDREN IM CRYIN g

so you cancel rehearsal on your end (soonyoung actually asks for everyone to stay to have a chat with them) and run to jihoon’s office with tears running down your face

he sadly was out of the room to make some copies of the music, but when he returned he was !!!!!!!!!

“y/n omg what happened? are you okay???”

“i want to quit my job.” you cried due to stress. you loved your job, you didnt want to quit it was just so many things were happening at once and you wanted to crawl into a hole and cry

“n O !” “i mean.. you shouldn’t, i know this week is the hardest week for directors. mingyu tells me about it all the time with his kids over at *insert another high school* you’re strong y/n!!! you can do this!!!” he even did aegyo for you and it did help cheer you up

and you did get through this with multiple hugs from jihoon and soonyoung talking to the kids and telling them to have fun, bc they obviously were just doing this at this point as a routine

and it worked. it totally worked and the show was a H I T. it was such a hit the show had a nomination in every category from best overall to best ensemble to best small prop in the corner during act 2 scene 5.

and when you saw the nomination list, you ran down the hall from the auditorium to jihoon’s classroom (who he was currently scolding women’s choir for being distracted) (they were totally talkign about how he looks at you while you two were speaking in the hallway)

*BOOM* you slam the door open and he instantly lightens up and smiles (spawn of satan jihoon exits the room) !!!

“ W e  GOT A NOMINATION IN EVERY CATEGORY THANKS TO YOU JIHOONNNNIEEEEEE” 

“did miss. y/l/n call mr. lee ‘jihoonie’ ?”

he’s ecstatic to see you so happy which causes very ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) faces throughout the choir

the night of the award ceremony comes, there are over 500 people in that orpheum theatre all hoping that they win some award of some sort.

you were just sitting with jihoon and soonyoung trying to stay calm, you even already pick your representatives within the cast to go get the awards to save looking like a fool trying to find a rep last minute.

then it came to the moment everyone was waiting for, your show had won most of the awards of the night already but there was one category you wanted the most to set the night, best small prop in the corner during act 2 scene 5 overall musical.

you were so nervous, but soonyoung gave you that look that L O O K that you both knew what it meant (we won)

and the look was right, you did. “from Serenity Rose High School, *insert a good musical bc im too tired to name one* wins best overall for this years High School Musical Awards!”

you were jumping, you were screaming and crying and suddenly your lips were connected with jihoon’s

it was such a good kiss, it probably could’ve won best kiss tbh

jihoon is in shock, soonyoung was in shock, your entire cast was in shock they almost forgot to send little jenny to go get the award, and then after a minute you were in s h o c k.

you were kissing jihoon, you were kissing jihoon Y O U w E R e Ki S i N G Ji hOo N. you pull away so quickly, but your hands were still cupping his face.

“i.. uh.” you were beet red, your cheeks were getting hot and you couldn’t remove your hands from his face they were like stuck.

he was also blushing, and trying his best not to smile super widely.

“ihavelikedyousinceteachercampinjulyireallyhopethiswasntawkwardeventhoughiknowitwasimsosorryforkissingyououtofthebluebutomgdidiactuallyjustkissyou”

“what?”

“jihoon, you adorable spawn of satan, i have liked you since the beginning of the school year like a little school girl and i just kissed you because yes, i like you. god im such a hIg H scHOo L ER!”

“y/n y/n y/n, i very much like you too”

“t h a n k g O D”

dating jihoon would be sweet and cute and adored by the entire fine arts department (teachers and students included)

you would always be in his classroom during your off periods, just chilling while you watch him teach his class. everyone would be screaming o TP in their heads whenever a subtle cute interaction between you two would happen

“y/n we shouldn’t do this in front of the students.”

“they’re at lunch what could possibly happen if you kicked all of them out, just kiss me already!!!”

right when you two were just centimeters apart, “mr. lee i needed to ask you if- ..oh.. o  H” “KIM SERIOUSLY I TOLD ALL OF YOU TO GO TO LUNCH”

dates would include late night adventures to downtown or somewhere far, far away from the school. you would even go to see a show at the theatre bc after dating you, he got very interested into the performing arts. 

even though jihoon wouldn’t be very into pda, he’d do it when it was only you two alone (very alone no students, no teachers, no one just you and him)

he’d always be there when you are stressed and he’d provide hugs and soft singing to calm you down, and you would always be there for him bc he sometimes needs to be reminded of the time so he can leave the school at a reasonable time like JIHOON OMG IT’S 9PM WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!!?

“i just wanted to pick out new music for next semester”

“J i HOo N!” 

but yes, that is teacher!woozi / teacher!jihoon 

i’m terrible at this omg this was so long why is it so long thx for reading all of this if you did. i wrote this at like 2am don’t hate me if this was badly spelt or grammar is terrible too. i hope u liked it, this is what i believe teacher jihoon would be (somewhat inspired by my satan-like choir teacher) but yes, i might do more of these aus someday, if you have any ideas pls hit me up in my inbox! :D

oki bye

[wereg0blin]

for the ask meme? all of them u thot

For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes

[conflictedrabbit]

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there. 

___: 

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___: 

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff: 

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff: 

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?} 

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___: 

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff: 

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___: 

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___: 

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___: 

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff: 

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___: 

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___: 

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff: 

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff: 

Wow i want to die!

___: 

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___: 

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___: 

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff: 

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___: 

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff: 

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___: 

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff: 

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___: 

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff: 

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff: 

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___: 

M. E

m

66ccff: 

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___: 

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff: 

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:.  They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me: 

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___: 

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff: 

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___: 

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff: 

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___: 

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff: 

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___: 

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___: 

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff: 

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff: 

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff: 

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___: 

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___: 

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff: 

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___: 

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff: 

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___: 

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___: 

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___: 

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___: 

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff: 

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff: 

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___: 

Me

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff: 

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff: 

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___:  it's really weird

66ccff: 

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___: 

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff:  o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff:  i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff:  :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff:  oh yeah

....

66ccff: 

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff:  ___ we are so fucked ___: 

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence

[amorremanet]

“rec your own fics” meme

Tagged by @obstinatecondolement — Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

Confession: I’m torn on which fics to rec because most of the ones I actually like best are “problematic” in at least five ways each and/or will probably trigger somebody, and my impulse is to go, “I pick the tall, smart, good-looking one and plead the Fifth.” But anyway, I’m in a, “Fuck it” sort of mood and working on a different recs list that I just have to suck it up and go, “Fuck it” about, so here we are, yup. I have hit, “Fuck it.”

Please, for the love of god, heed the tags and warnings on all these fics.

When It All Comes Down To Dust (Doctor Who, Mature, Tenth Doctor/Face of Boe!Jack Harkness; it’s rated M but there is sexual content in it, also it’s a tentacle fic that runs on angsty bullshit character study).

I am more proud of this fic than I have any right to be, entirely because somebody once told me, “Oh shut up, you did not write tentacle porn. This is too pretty, you wrote tentacle erotica.” That’s still one of the best compliments that I’ve ever gotten on anything.

consider your best friend’s mouth (Teen Wolf, Teen, Scott/Stiles — second-person Scott POV hurt/comfort prose-poem bullshit).

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re riffing on, “You Are Jeff” for the umpteen millionth time in the name of angsty Skittles friends-to-lovers make-out sessions for the same reason that I always write Scott as autistic: because fuck you, that’s why.

tell me we both matter, don’t we (Teen Wolf, Explicit, Derek/Scott; look, this is angsty character study bullshit cosplaying as smut).

Also: Derek is 25 in this fic and Scott is 17. They were having sex when Scott was 16 because Derek went, “Well, he kissed me fist” and didn’t think he needed to ask. This is treated as a Not Good thing in the fic, period.

I could just title this fic, “Derek and Scott make bad life choices and really should not be sleeping together, but they’re werewolf disasters and they have sex anyway” because that is literally all that happens. Also, Derek realizes he was wrong about, “Well, Scott kissed me first, so I am absolved of all responsibility for my bullshit choices” (but only because he goes, “Oh shit, I might be enabling Scott’s self-destructive tendencies,” not because he recognizes any other reasons why he was wrong).

But boys spring infernal (Voltron: Legendary Defender, Mature — all of the emotional hurt/comfort, so much angst, it’s another, “I like making fictional characters deal with mental health issues bc it makes it easier to deal with mine” sorta fic, wrapped up in a punk/college/hot mess AU).

This is the tall, smart, good-looking one, mostly because of how it reminded me that holy shit, writing fanfic used to be fun? And wow jeez, it can be fun again.

Anyway: Bi!Keith is (almost) 24, autistic, periodically the source of his advisor’s (Kolivan’s) worst headaches because he’s such a mess and so bad at letting people help him, and really fed up with the punk band rehearsing in the garage under his shitty apartment right before midterms when he wants to be asleep.

Gay!Shiro is a 27-year-old recovering addict with long hair, PTSD, panic attacks, a stuffed black lion, and a serious fanboy streak for George Michael. He and Keith didn’t expect to see each other ever again after some Bad Shit and a supposed disappearing act that went down almost five years ago, but guess who’s the lead singer of the band that’s been keeping Keith awake.

Also, Kuron is Shiro’s twin and we’re calling him Ryou because of GoLion. Bi!Lance is 23 as of July, ADHD as shit, well-meaning but overprotective in his self-appointed capacity as Shiro’s emotional guardian, and pining over Bi!Hunk, who doesn’t notice (because you could hand Hunk a cornucopia of hints, wrapped up in pretty box that has his name on it, and he would go hand the box to Shiro because duh, everybody knows that he’s The Pretty One).

A punk cover of “Genie In A Bottle” is involved, nobody is straight or neurotypical, and I may be in a contest with myself to see how many canon characters I can work into things in some capacity. (For example: Slav is Ryou’s best friend/roommate. I imagine him looking like, “What if Danny Pudi cosplayed as L Lawliet from Death Note.”)

Rain (Teen Wolf, General, Danny/Jackson) — Literally the only fic you don’t have to heed warnings for, because it’s G-rated. Welcome to the AU wherein merman!Jackson grooms cecaelia!Danny’s tentacles, because somebody once told me that it was impossible and I couldn’t write a G-rated tentacle fic, and so I did.

And I tag: @lostemotion @lesbiancleophas @derekslaura @sleepy-skittles @irresistible-revolution @morethanslightly​ @machidielontheway​ and @morphenomenalbabe​ — but no pressure if any of you don’t want to do it. And anyone else who wants to do the thing can just say that I tagged them. Blame me, it’s totally fair ♡