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alovesreading · 2 years ago

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Constant Repeat | Part 9

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 20.4k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: This is gonna be a rather lengthy author's note but it's needed. Y'all must definitely know the wonderful @imagine-that-100 and her masterpiece of a fic Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis. I'm not exaggerating when I say that fic changed my life in many amazing ways: it introduced me to the 1975, I made friends with N and she's now my best mate and such a special person to me, and through becoming friends with her i gained the courage to start writing again and finally post my fics. I hold @nriacc so close to my heart, so it's a massive honor that N allowed me to borrow Wheels and Curly to use in this story, giving them an alternate universe story line that melts my heart. I'm so beyond excited for you to read this chapter and the rest of this UK trip because it's so fucking fun and eventful. I'm looking forward eagerly to see all of your reactions! I'll shut up now, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!!!

Masterlist

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It was cruel how slow time had been going. A month had never felt longer, and days were specially slow as she was back at the Focus Creeps office everyday.

Organizing all the clips she had gotten from the recording had only kept her busy for the first week back, and after that it had just been torture to get back into routine.

The one good thing was that, since Aaron had a new PA, Ella was properly getting more into the videography aspect of it all and being mentored directly by Ben.

She had studied for that type of job, all she had ever wanted was to be behind the camera in any type of production and finally being able to do it, no matter how small the production was, was a dream come true.

However, it was a lot of work and, whilst she loved it, managing the crew and instructing a whole team for a production could get really stressful. She still had her PA brain in her so regardless of not needing to, she would take on more responsibilities just to ensure everything would end up perfect on shoot day.

Needless to say, just the thought of the holiday approaching made her incredibly giddy.

The day she had gotten to drop Breana off at LAX had been the day she had started getting nervous. The model had been able to get off work and fly over a week earlier than Ella, and even though she had offered to wait another week so they could fly together, Ella had encouraged her to go ahead.

Bre was already dying to see her boyfriend, so why would Ella want to keep her another week away from him?

The silver lining of the situation was that she'd get to be with everyone in only a week. Just seven more days to wait were nothing in comparison to the three endless weeks she had already waited so it'd be fine.

When she got home that afternoon, she went straight to get her suitcase which was hidden away in a corner of her closet. Ella laughed to herself as she packed away, the whole scene being soundtracked by Bowie. That was probably the first time since she moved out to college that she had packed her things with that much time in advance.

She had just rolled up a pair of black pants when 'Modern Love' was interrupted by a call. A call from the one and only, Alex Turner.

Beaming at the contact name, she swiped on her screen to answer and it wasn't even a fraction of a second later that she heard "Hello my darling!" being shouted by a very obviously drunk Alex.

Ella could hear chatter and music in the background, but his loud slurred greeting had been heard without difficulty. "Hi Al! Having fun?"

"Erm," The singer hesitated dramatically, "A bit, yeah."

"Sure sounds like a bit of fun." She replied sarcastically, making him giggle.

"Far less than it would be if you were here."

Ella tried hard not to laugh again, "Oh wow, I'm worried now I might not remember this trip."

"Oh it'll be memorable alright." Ella couldn't hold her laughter in any longer, giggling loudly at the slurred statement and he smiled to himself hearing that sound, "Remind me why aren't you already on your way with Bre now?"

She sighed, "Because I have a big shoot this week and I couldn't miss it because I'll be filling Aaron's place and working directly with Ben."

"You're so fucking amazing, darling." Alex started, completely amazed at her stories now that she was hands on working on the directing aspect of their productions, "I want you directing our music videos from now on." He demanded as seriously as a drunk man can.

"I think drunk you might not be making the best decisions." She quipped with an immense smile on her face.

"Yeah, no." He was quick to disagree, shaking his head profusely like Ella was there to see him. "That'd be the best decision actually. I'll give Ben a quick call."

"Alex, stop it you idiot." Her cheeks were already heating up so she took her phone away from her ear and put it on speaker to place it on her bed as she continued packing. "It's only one more week. Six days if you count this day as over."

He groaned loudly, "Six more days is too long. I can't wait to see you."

Ella was fully melting. It had been so excruciating to be away from the lads, especially from Alex that she kept thinking about what it would be to hug him again. To lean on him for support as she doubled over in laughter, to cuddle him again. She missed him loads, and she'd realized just how important he had become to her when he had left.

She tried to play it cool though, "Okay but you should be more excited about Glastonbury rather than me coming, Al."

"Well you are coming to see us at Glastonbury so it's basically the same thing." Alex defended himself, when in reality he really wasn't able to point out which of those two he was most excited for.

Ella could only shake her head and smile to herself, "You're funny."

"'Course I am." Alex chatted back with an almost offended tone.

She wanted to taunt him a bit more, he was always hilarious when drunk. "That wasn't necessarily literal."

"Yeah, yeah sure–" Alex started but was interrupted by Matt yelling, "Ellie!" out loud as he had come out looking for Alex and heard her through the speakers of the singer's phone.

"Jesus Christ, my eardrums just burst." Ella exaggerated as she folded a black top and rolled it to fit into her case.

Matt scoffed, "Why are you such a bitch, I was about to tell you how much I missed you."

Feeling accomplished by getting that reaction, she giggled but admitted, "I miss you too Helders."

"Did you drop Bre off today?" The drummer asked first and foremost. He was eager to see his girl, a month had been way too long already.

Ella was proud to announce, "Yes. Got back a few hours ago. She texted me she was boarding about twenty minutes ago so your girl is on her way."

"Thank fuck. That plane better speed here." The hours the flight took were always the worst wait for him, they had been every time.

"I'm sure Bre is making the pilot go as fast as they can to get to you as soon as possible." Ella joked, being able to picture the scenario so clearly. But as she picked up her favorite pair of high heeled boots, the leather slipped between her fingers and landed with a loud thud on the floor. "Oh shit!"

The silence from the lads' side was loud, but Ella's was louder so Alex inquired very quickly, "What are you breaking Eleanor?"

Whenever he used her full name, her insides twisted in a knot. Ella rolled her eyes at the feeling and sassily replied, "Nothing Alexander, just dropped a pair of shoes I was about to pack." She hoped he felt the same way when she called him by his full name.

If Ella had gotten an answer to that, it would've been yes but it was overcome by the giddiness Alex then felt over the fact that she was already packing for the trip. "You're packing already?"

"Yes. Apparently I can't stay still now thinking about this trip." And it was true, she probably took a look at her tickets at least twice a day just to check if they were still real.

"Well it is quite eventful, innit? Glasto, Nick's wedding, the music video..." Alex listed with a loopy smile on his face. It would be the perfect first stay in the UK for her, and he couldn't wait to make it even better.

But Ella was suffering through the wait so it just made her whine for him to stop. "Stop because I will cry from having to wait another week."

Alex flustered at the noise but he was reminded he wasn't alone when Matt laughed beside him. The singer sighed, really putting his drunk mind to work out a solution to the problem, "Why isn't teleporting a thing yet?"

Ella snorted in laughter, "It would make it all so much easier, wouldn't it?"

He really started going deep in thought, thinking about how if they were just grasping the logical ways of the concept then the government or whoever would already have something developed. Or they should, at least. "I'm sure there has to be something that–"

Alex's heavy rant was prematurely interrupted by the usual troublemaker in the friend group. "Ellie?"

"Yes, Matthew?"

"Don't forget to pack your skimpy underwear, you'll be going out on the pull here. We need to get you a rebound!" Matt was so drunk, he missed the amount of people walking past them and turning to see him after being so loud about his plans for the American girl.

Ella cackled, deciding between a few skirts she had laid out on the bed. "It will be noted."

But at the same time Alex cussed out his best mate, "Oh fuck off Helders."

Matt frowned at him, "What? I'm just looking out for her! She needs to get every faint memory of that dickhead fucked out of her brain."

Alex hated thinking about that being the situation, he wouldn't have it. "Jesus– Just, fucking shut up."

"I do actually," Ella agreed on Matt's logic, "But let's not talk about it." She sighed in slight melancholy.

"See?!" Matt fought Alex loudly, making Ella laugh loud at him.

Alex turned to the drummer about to threaten him, "Helders I will fucking–"

Ella stopped them before they could do anything, "Okay don't fight now. I'm not there to record."

"Don't worry, I'll ask Jamie to record as I kick his arse." Matt said confidently, almost ready to run back in and ask for Jamie's help.

But she was quick to kick the drummer's ego down a few notches, "I doubt that'll happen."

"Bitch!" Matt gasped out loud, completely offended.

"Thanks for the support, darling." Alex replied with a smirk, raising his eyebrows at his friend.

"Yeah, you just say that 'cause you want his–" Matt tried to say but it was all muffled what she heard next. Ella held her breath to try and listen but nothing could be heard other than shuffling.

About a minute later the line went clear again and someone cleared their throats, "Sorry 'bout that darling, he gets on my nerves."

Ella shook her head, only imagining what it was that they had just done. "He has that effect."

"Well I can't wait for you to get here, darling. It's gonna be fucking amazing I promise you." Alex would make sure of it like his life depended on it.

Her excitement bubbled up inside her once more, "I know it will, I'm so excited. Finally started watching Game of Thrones to practice my accent."

He remembered getting a picture of the three seasons on DVD she had gotten not long after they had gone back to London and how she said she'd watch it soon to prepare for her trip. "Oh darling, I cannot wait to see you miserably fail at that."

"Hey!" Ella warned him before switching to her very fake and forced british accent, "It's quite good actually." Alex couldn't not let out the loudest laugh at it though, which made her laugh back as she tried to say, "Don't laugh!"

He tried to stop but he couldn't so it was about half a minute later that he could properly say, "Sorry, that was just bad."

"You're mean." She pouted to herself, rolling a pair of jeans.

He hummed and sarcastically said, "Sure I am." Ella was about to call him out for it when they heard, "Alex!" being yelled out by Nick. "Okay, I gotta go now but, erm, I'll call you tomorrow alright?" He stumbled in his words, his tongue tangling because of being drunk and excited.

Ella smiled at that, "That's perfect. Enjoy the rest of your night, Al. Love you." She just couldn't help but add.

Alex swore he would never get over her saying that, even if she didn't mean it like he wanted her to. "Love you too, darling. Bye."

"Bye." She said almost breathless as his words hit her like she hadn't heard him say that before.

The line went dead and they both sighed before going back to their activities. The week needed to pass faster.

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Ella had been walking around LAX with a skip on her step. Her flight was due to leave California at seven in the afternoon and she'd be landing in Montreal at around three in the morning. She had a connecting flight, of course, but she had made sure to make her calculations well and she knew she'd get there in time.

She had made sure to leave her house and order herself a taxi with enough time to spare, taking LA's traffic very into consideration. The counter of the airline she was traveling with had been packed but she got her boarding pass about forty minutes later, with two hours left to go through TSA and then rush to her gate.

Being mindful of how long it would take, she had already taken everything that could beep off her body and placed it inside the big bag she was carrying with her. Though she shouldn't have needed to worry because being the time it was and the fact that it was LAX, the line for TSA moved specially slow, taking her about thirty minutes to get through.

And, of course, her gate was the one furthest away so she was power walking through the airport, not without making a quick stop at McDonald's first. When she finally found her gate, she'd sat in the waiting area with her laptop open in her lap to edit some pictures.

She'd had to do some shoots on digital for a brand that was working with Focus Creeps and despite it not being her favorite medium, they had turned out amazing. She had studied quite intently everything about photo editing in university, so really she was just putting old skills to use when editing them.

When she was almost done with the first batch of pictures, and eating the last of her chips now that her burger was gone, she noticed that the time in the top right corner of her laptop said 7:16PM and they hadn't been called yet, so she started to fidget in her seat.

There was just one person at the counter but they didn't have the airline's uniform. She could see a plane parked right at the gate though, and people driving the boarding bridge in place. Her legs bounced up and down as she watched her surroundings for any signs of them boarding soon.

Just when Ella was about to panic because the person who was at the counter left, her phone buzzed in her pocket, startling her. She pulled it out, grateful for a small distraction from her building anxiety and her face relaxed at the notification of Alex's text.

(27/06/2013 19:17) Hope the airport isn't too crazy at the minute, darling. How's everything going? Have you boarded yet? x

She bit on her thumb, looking around for anyone from the airline getting the counter ready for boarding but no one was there yet so she fully focused on texting the singer.

(27/06/2013 19:18) We were supposed to board twenty minutes ago, so I'm slowly getting nervous. Every minute counts, you know? I can't miss y'all at Glastonbury Al :(

(27/06/2013 19:19) Don't you worry darling, you'll make it just in time. And I'm sure you'll be boarding in no time, just listen to some music, yeah? Maybe some Beatles to set the mood x

(27/06/2013 19:20) I think it'd be better if I blast some Arctic Monkeys, wouldn't it?

(27/06/2013 19:20) I suppose that works too, they're overrated though x

(27/06/2013 19:21) Okay now, don't talk shit about them when I'm only traveling this long to see them.

(27/06/2013 19:21) Hahaha sorry darling x I cannot wait to see you, the lads can't wait either and Bre has been screeching about your first time over here since she got here.

(27/06/2013 19:22) You always know what to say, Al. I feel like I'm gonna puke from excitement now and not anxiety. Can't wait to see y'all.

(27/06/2013 19:23) Everyone's already planning so much shit for when you get here. Just a little heads up for you x

(27/06/2013 19:23) Jesus Christ... I'm scared of the hangovers to come already.

(27/06/2013 19:24) It'll be fun, that's all that matters. What Bre and Matt are planning though, I have no idea about.

(27/06/2013 19:25) Oh no, they're in charge of the parties before the wedding right?

(27/06/2013 19:26) Exactly, so we must be in for a wild night. Gutted we can't be together for those x

(27/06/2013 19:27) Who's gonna save me from Bre then?! She's gonna have me black out, I can't handle alcohol as well as she does.

(27/06/2013 19:27) You can't handle alcohol at all, darling xx

(27/06/2013 19:27) Thanks for the faith, Al. So sweet of you x

(27/06/2013 19:28) Won't apologize for the truth x But Katie and my best friend will be there, they'll take care of you x

(27/06/2013 19:29) Rude! :(( I'm so excited to meet everyone properly!!! x

(27/06/2013 19:29) Just stay away from tequila and you'll be fine darling x And everyone is excited to finally meet you too xx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Such good advice xx P.S. someone's just set things up for boarding! I'll text you when I get to Montreal xxx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Have a great flight, darling. Love you lots xxxx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Thank you Alex, love you too xxxx

Ella stood up from her place with a bright grin on her face. She'd never not react like that to his sweet words.

Once she got her thoughts together, she hung her bag on her shoulder, after stuffing her laptop back inside it, and walked to throw away her McDonald's bag.

As soon as she was able to, Ella boarded her flight. Feeling so elated as she walked to the plane's door and through the hallway up to her seat. She loved being in planes, even though going out of the country had never happened for her before.

She found herself unable to stay still when she got to her seat. There were so many things making her insides feel like jelly, she had a little silent cry in the plane as it took off. Ella was grateful nobody beside her could really see her as she had a window seat, her eyes glued to how everything was looking more minuscule by the minute outside until it was just clouds.

Eventually, she pulled out her laptop again and continued editing, she had a little bit over five hours to kill and since she had no other way to distract herself, she was going through the pictures faster than anticipated.

How she was going to brace the seven hour flight from Montreal to London, she had no idea. She probably would have to come up with concepts for future shoots, work with words rather than with reference pictures since she had no wifi.

Ella had been amazed, watching Montreal under the plane when they were about to land. The lights of the city lighting up everything for her to see, she felt like a child being amazed at such a simple thing, but it looked so beautiful she had to take a picture. She used her phone first but it did little to no justice to it so she pulled out her camera and took a few pictures just to see if it would show on film as beautiful as her eyes could see.

Even walking around the Canadian airport was fascinating to her, because all the signs were in French too, which made her think about just how amazing it would be to visit France.

Thankfully, walking through the airport and finding her gate had been a breeze so she could sit down calmly and just sort through some stuff that she had been procrastinating for long. Before starting to organize her scans though, she sent Alex a quick text.

(28/06/2013 04:20) Landed in Montreal a few minutes ago, and at the gate waiting for the next flight! Only an hour left to wait and then I'll be on my way. I cannot stay still!!! xx Also Canada is beautiful, I love it! xx

Due to the lack of wifi connection, she sent it as a regular SMS, not really caring about being charged. She just hoped it went through as she went back to her laptop screen to work the next hour away.

But her bubble of giddiness had burst when she and all the others who were waiting for their connecting flight, were surprised by someone from the airline crew going up to the gate's waiting area microphone and informing them all that their flight had been delayed six hours because of some issues with the plane that was supposed to take them to London.

Ella scoffed in disbelief. Of course this would happen to me, was all that came to her mind.

When they told them their luggage would have to be picked up from baggage claim and they'd have to check in once again, it hit her just how much time she'd be losing.

She started panicking as she walked out to baggage claim, spotting her flight number in the furthest conveyor belt.

She had debated texting Alex again to tell him about the whole situation, just to let him know, but when she properly made her calculations and realized how much later she'd get there, her whole attention was drawn to fixing the issue.

People saw her rolling her big suitcase around the airport in a haste, her bag continuously falling off her shoulder but it was the least of her concerns as she approached the counters of the airline. She saw the big line of people and was about to cry, but thankfully she spotted some people assisting at the very end of the queue that could help her.

Ella told them about her situation and they apologized profusely. They told her to wait as they saw what they could do and after twenty minutes in which she just watched them type away, call and speak with different people behind the counter, she was told she could get a ticket for another plane they had which was leaving in two hours.

When the time was very scarily going closer to six in the morning, she had been able to check in her suitcase and run to go through security once again. She was grateful everyone had been lovely in every checkpoint, because if she had been faced with another obstacle, she was sure she would've broken down in the middle of the airport.

Never in her life had she walked so fast, and it was only when she got to her gate did she allow herself to fully sit in the panic. On her way, she had been doing the math and she realized she'd be landing in London cutting it very close to their set. It was when she remembered she still needed to get driven to the place the festival was at, that she found she'd get there after the lads had gone on stage, probably in the middle of their set.

Without letting another minute go to waste, she called Alex and tried her hardest to keep herself composed. At least she had a ticket and it would be a minor setback, not six hours.

"Hello, darling!" He exclaimed and she could feel his smile through the phone, her shoulders slowly loosening up at the thought of being beside her best friend soon.

"Hiya, Alex." Ella greeted, trying to copy his enthusiasm but she failed incredibly and Alex knew her so well now that he immediately knew something was wrong.

He walked away from the noise around him, they'd gotten to the festival early and they were all drinking and watching the final touches to the stage setup. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ella bit her lip, trying not to get too worked up and push herself to tears. "I am, I am. Just— My original flight got delayed six hours..."

Alex's heart dropped, "Oh darling." He muttered, filled with sadness.

"Okay but listen," She continued, trying to switch the situation around—more to try and calm herself than anything else—, "I managed to get a new ticket, but it leaves in about an hour. So, if my calculations aren't wrong, then I might be landing around eight in the evening."

He hummed, "The drive is about two hours and a half, it's okay darling. You're getting picked up by the driver we hired, you'll make it."

She sighed, "I hope I make it on time..." She knew she wouldn't be there from the start but just the knowledge of being a few minutes late to their set wouldn't make her weep at that very moment.

Alex just had to reassure her though, because anything could happen and it was out of everyone's hands so the last thing he wanted was for her to blame herself. "Even if you get here a little late, we just want you here. It's okay Ellie. I promise you, darling."

If Ella hadn't been in public, she would've let herself sob, but she had to inhale deeply to keep herself at bay and focus on the fact that she was on her way to them and that was all that mattered.

"Okay, Al. I'm just gonna distract myself as I wait and, uhm, yeah. I hope this one doesn't get delayed." She tried to joke but her heart sank at just the thought of it.

"Touching wood as we speak, Ellie." He truly was, knocking softly on the wooden table that was set beside him.

She laughed quietly, "I guess I'll see you soon then Al, but just in case I don't get there in time," her voice went a little quiet as she was getting sad at the thought, "Good luck okay? You're all gonna do so amazing, I have no doubt."

"Why don't you just wait until you're here to tell me?" Alex just wanted her to stop thinking like that, she was gonna make it regardless and that's what mattered to him.

"Alright." Ella agreed softly, trying to feed off his positivity.

"Have a great flight darling. Love you. It'll be alright okay?" That sweet conviction of his that he always showed when it came to her laced around his words had her melting and calming down in her seat.

She nodded, smiling tightly at his words. "Yeah, it will. Love you too Alex, see you soon."

They exchanged quiet goodbyes and just like that the call ended.

The panic had gone away and its place had been taken by excitement again. She just wished time would go faster because she had little patience left inside her and it had only been fifteen minutes she had been waiting at the gate.

Working on organizing her scans had been wonderful for her, not only because she had so many that she had forgotten about, but she had been able to see her growth as a photographer and it had made her a little bit proud of herself.

It had been a burden to see the ones with Julian in them, or the ones that she clearly remembered had been taken by him but they were good shots of her where she felt and looked beautiful so she would focus on that rather than give that man any more of her thoughts.

She'd known ever since that day at the beach that she was done with him, over the whole situation and, since she wrapped her mind around that realization, she'd only felt peace. He thankfully hadn't made any more appearances or tried to contact her—of course that also was because she'd made sure to block all contacts that could tie them together any longer.

That all had worked like a charm and surrounding herself with work and keeping in touch with her friends and family had helped her heal.

When she was sorting through the pictures she'd taken in March, that were mostly frames of her birthday party as Bre had been drunkenly taking many pictures of everyone, the crew had started to board.

Ella was glad to see they had started boarding earlier than anticipated and she was on her plane seat in almost no time. And to her luck, she had been seated beside a very lovely woman who had the most beautiful ginger hair Ella had ever seen. That had been the start of the conversation and the girl, who's name was Gabby, had thanked her and started conversation with her right then.

It seemed like the friendship had been sent from above as the two spent most of the flight talking about everything and anything: their jobs, their hobbies, why they were on that plane, the things they were most excited for when they landed.

"Rockstars..." Gabby has started after Ella told her she was on her way to visit her rockstar best friends, "Be careful, you never really know about them." She warned, based on past experiences that made a melancholic smile tug at the corner of her lips.

When the plane landed, they had gone through all of the checkpoints together up until the baggage claim area.

Ella and Gabby exchanged Instagram accounts and they promised each other to keep in touch and maybe plan something while Ella was in London.

It seemed like luck was on Gabby's side because her suitcase was one of the first ones to come out only 20 minutes later, leaving Ella with a long hug and a "Take care sweetheart."

Without the ginger beside her, Ella had been well aware of every minute that was passing and how if everything was going according to schedule then it would be less than two hours that the lads would go on stage.

Maybe if the driver just floored it, she'd be able to make it just in time. She prayed that was the case.

But time kept running and she watched people getting their baggage and leaving, everyone but her. It was a group of twenty people maybe that was waiting with her, and suddenly the conveyor belt stopped carrying cases which made Ella even more fidgety.

When she watched the clock go from nine o'clock to quarter past, she'd had enough. She sighed, fixing her bag on her shoulder to turn around and leave—after all, if her case was found, it had her information attached to it and they'd contact her so she couldn't care less about it—, but then cases started rolling in again and the third one was hers.

Ella practically ran towards it and pulled it up with a strength she didn't know she had in her. As soon as she had a hold on it, she walked fast towards the exit in search of the driver the lads had gotten her.

It took her a few glances around the crowd of people waiting for her to find her name on a small sign. 'Eleanor Hayes' read the sign in the man's hands and she approached him with a relieved smile on her face.

They exchanged pleasantries and he took the suitcase from her as they walked out to the car. It was outside that it hit her where she was. Seeing cars driving on the other side of the road and everyone talking in thick accents around her was enough for her to smile hard.

Even if she was two hours away from the guys, they were standing in the same soil and that was enough for her to breathe calmly for a while.

Ella got in the back seat of the car, and once again she felt like she couldn't sit still. The worst part was that she wasn't even able to call Alex or text him because her phone was basically useless.

So she put her earphones in and connected them to her phone to play some music. Something inside her knew exactly what she needed to hear then and so she scrolled all the way down until she found that song she hadn't been able to stop listening to since that day.

Her eyes watched out of the window, how they were driving on the left side of the road, how different it all was but something felt constant and growing inside her. But then 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards' started and her thoughts drowned before she could even allow herself to point out what it was.

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Ella had made light conversation with the driver when they were walking up to the car and he had taken her petition to go as fast as he could to heart. He knew she needed to be there by ten in the evening so he had done the best he could.

Yet that hadn't been enough, because they got there at a little bit over eleven.

The driver had lent Ella his phone so she could call an assistant to the band's manager who was waiting for her to arrive.

The girl had been lovely and told Ella she'd be coming to get her and about thirty minutes later, with her heart leaping on her chest, Ella was walking up to the balcony at the side of the stage.

She was almost in tears seeing and hearing the massive crowd go incredibly insane at the sight of the lads coming back for the encore.

Ella had barely registered the manager's assistant telling Breana that Ella had arrived until Bre had jumped on her to hug her, and that was when the tears had started falling. Ella was so overwhelmed that she was just now processing the long day she'd had and it was hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She was so entranced by the guys getting their instruments and about to perform again that she had only been able to smile and wave at the girls around her. She recognized Kelly of course but she didn't know who out of the two other girls that were there was Katie and who was Alex's best friend.

Alex started strumming his guitar and teasing the crowd with the lyrics to 'Soul Love' by David Bowie, everyone at the balcony laughed as they sang it back to him but he was quick to cut them off when he said, "I'm only messing, I'm only kidding."

He walked backwards for a few seconds before going back to the mic and this time teasing them with 'Yellow' by Coldplay, which made the crowd sing it back to him even louder.

"I'm only messing, I'm only messing." He tried saying but the thousands of people ignored it so he laughed looking at Jamie and shaking his head, "I'm only kidding. Pipe down now, pipe down." And since they still didn't listen, he went ahead and started singing the next song which was 'Cornerstone'.

Ella hadn't even known that they had a string section playing with them until she heard them join the guys during the second verse and she swore she had ascended.

Nothing would ever compare to hearing Alex's stunning voice, accompanied by the violins and cellos, and the crowd so wholeheartedly singing along.

Alex was enthralling standing there just talking to the masses of people and getting them to cheer loudly at him when he suggested an old monkeys song that they didn't perform often. Ella was trying to guess which one it would be when the violins started the gorgeous melody of 'Mardy Bum' and it all sounded even better when the crowd sang along.

It was mesmerizing to say the least. Ella had thought seeing them perform Outside Lands in 2011 had been insane enough, but nothing compared to this. She had never witnessed something like it before and it was leaving her breathless.

A few tears fell down her cheeks and since Bre was holding her close, resting her face against hers, she noticed. The model turned to her best friend, cooing and gave her a loud kiss on the cheek.

Ella was sad she had only caught the end of their performance but so glad to at least have caught a bit of it. She wouldn't have forgiven herself if she had missed it completely.

She watched as Alex changed her acoustic guitar for his Fender jazzmaster when the song was done, and in no time he started playing the chords to 'When The Sun Goes Down'. The crowd was so loud almost completely drowning his voice, making everyone at the balcony sing along.

Just before the song fully kicked in after the first verse, Alex stopped and encouraged the crowd to get louder and louder. It was mental to see how much control he had over them, making them scream as loud as they could with a small movement of his hand.

Finally when they continued, Ella just fully let go of any inhibitions and started dancing with Bre, jumping on her spot and singing along loudly. The girls had done the same, all of them faking playing a guitar and headbanging.

One of the girls she didn't know had wolf whistled and yelled "That's my best friend!" which had Ella instantly knowing who she was. She was glad she had just spent most of the song with her arm swung over the girl's shoulder and both had danced together like they'd known each other their whole lives.

It all got even cuter when Alex asked the crowd if they could help him sing happy birthday to his mum. Ella had melted as she and everyone sang along, Alex had a permanent grin on his face loving the energy and how perfect the night was going.

Ella watched intently as Alex welcomed Miles on stage, whooping and clapping for her friend. She had only been able to see Miles playing 505 with them on video and caught glimpses of it in the studio when the guys were playing around and strummed along for a few seconds, but she was sure this one time would be life changing.

When Alex sang "I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck", she felt Bre teasingly choke her which made her laugh. That made her almost miss Alex doing it to himself softly in front of the whole crowd. She had to keep herself from letting her eyes roll at that, not only because she was in public, surrounded by people but she had to not think about Alex like that.

She couldn't. They were just friends and no matter how attractive she could find him, she couldn't let herself and her thoughts wander beyond that point.

The song reached its climax and she was taken aback by the crowd's volume once again. It was nothing compared to how loud they got by the end of the song, when the lights grew intensely and lit the whole stage as the band waved them goodbye, blew them kisses and left.

Once the guys were out, that's when Ella properly turned and gave Bre the biggest hug to say hello.

"I missed you so much!" Ella had said hidden away in her neck, "Today was awful."

Bre let go to check if she was crying or not, she only found Ella's eyes pooling with tears, "I knew I should've gone with you." The model cooed and hugged her back again, "Let's go back down to their trailer and I'll introduce you to everyone."

Ella sniffled and followed Breana, who was keeping her fingers intertwined with hers as everyone walked out and back to the band's trailer.

She expected the lads to be out there already, but they told them that they had gone to be quickly interviewed at the BBC Radio area. So she took the brief moment of tranquility to properly take a moment and meet the girls officially.

Kelly was the one walking towards them so Ella was quick to meet her in the middle and give her a quick hug.

"Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Ella said enthusiastically, and the bride-to-be hugged her back tightly.

They swayed a bit in their place before letting go of each other, Kelly was a little bit tipsy by then and the lads and Bre had been talking about how excited they were for Ella to get there that she was ecstatic to meet her.

"You too Ella!" Kelly agreed and then turned to see the other two ladies coming to them. Kelly waved them over for them to hurry and both of them started giggling as they quickened their pace.

When they caught up to where they stood, Ella smiled brightly at them, "Hi! I'm Ella, so nice to meet you."

She hadn't known exactly if she should hug them or shake their hands but the answer was given to her when the brunette one crushed her in a tight hug which surprised her.

"I'm so glad we can finally meet!" Ella had reciprocated the hug because she truly needed it and it's only when the girl let go that she said, "I'm Flo. Welcome to England, love."

"Oh! Alex's best friend, the artist! I've heard so much about you." Ella replied, looking at the pretty girl smiling even harder in front of her.

"I sure hope so. I've heard loads about you too, it was about time you came so I could properly meet you." Flo winked and it made her blush, she was intrigued by the amount of times Alex would mention her if his best friend had been so eager to have her here.

Ella giggled and then turned to give the blonde girl who, by process of elimination, would be Cookie's girlfriend. "You must be Katie then?"

"That's me. Hi Ella, so nice to meet you." Katie said with a sweet smile and a tender brief hug.

Ella reciprocated and held her with the same tenderness. "You too. Congratulations on the engagement, by the way. Lucky guy Cookie is."

Katie laughed and waved her off but before she could disagree on that, Flo jumped in saying, "Isn't he?"

Ella nodded, already feeling that Alex's best friend would be one she'd grow the closest with. Katie felt the need to say something about her then so he pointed at the things that they knew from the lads.

"We've seen your pictures Ella and, bloody hell, we might need to hire you for some shoots because you leave me astounded."

Ella smiled brightly at that, her cheeks tinting red as she watched them all throwing compliments around. Bre threw one of her arms around Ella's shoulders and said, "Think maybe we should just take a day away from the guys and play with the camera."

All the girls agreed on it and Ella was totally willing to do it. "I'm down if you guys are down, that'd be amazing. I came up with a few concepts on my way here, actually."

"It's settled then. Girls day will be a photoshoot day with Ella." Flo settled raising her cup in the air.

"You tell us Kelly if you want it before or after the wedding just so we don't interrupt with any plans." Ella was quick to say, remembering the big day coming up.

"Let's do it after. We have loads of time before we leave for our honeymoon."

Flo smirked at her, "Oooooo the honeymoon. Big anticipation for that Boss, make sure you're well rested beforehand. I speak from experience."

"Wait, you're married?" Ella asked in slight shock. Alex had failed to mention that big little detail.

Flo showed off her ring wiggling her eyebrows, "Very happily so." And then she turned to look around for her husband, "Where is he? Curly?!"

And as if it was magic, the lanky man with the long hair Ella had seen earlier at the balcony had popped out of nowhere with a cigarette in hand by the trailer.

"Sweetheart?" He asked and if it wasn't for the way they had kept quiet, they wouldn't have been able to hear him.

"Come here a second, say hi to Ella."

And like every one of her wishes was a command, he appeared right behind her with a smile on his face. He dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it as he offered a hand out to Ella and introduced himself, "Nice to meet you, I'm Matty."

Ella gave him a kind smile, holding herself from cooing at the way he held Flo close to him. "Hi Matty, I'm Ella."

The man smirked, "Oh we know, famous Ella. You're quite the talk around here."

Breana laughed, knowing how much of Ella they had all heard and seen through the band, especially in the past week and earlier that very day.

Ella blushed at the information, "Jesus... Good talk, I hope."

Flo smirked looking at her, "Oh very good talk, especially from Alex. He's been like a broken record since he got back."

She had no idea what to say so she just blushed quietly for a few seconds until Breana pinched her waist and she jumped, "That's... good, I guess."

"Indeed it is." Katie added with a subtle smirk and a raise of eyebrows which only had Ella blushing even harder.

"Okay, yous stop it." Kelly said, finding it adorable how she reacted to everyone's teasing. "You're getting her all red, bless her."

"You know what you need?" Matty asked playfully and Ella shook her head as she lacked a response, "A drink."

"Oh yes. You're far behind." Informed Breana who had been drinking almost all day with the girls.

"What would you like?" Flo asked nicely, wanting to get her new friend going as the night had only just started.

Ella had a think about it but just shrugged when she couldn't decide on anything she particularly wanted at the moment, "Surprise me."

Flo smiled hard, "I love you already."

So Flo and Matty left to make her a drink and the other four girls stayed outside whilst they talked. It had been mostly about the wedding, Ella had managed to convince Kelly that it wasn't gonna be an issue for her to take pictures all day so Kelly allowed her to be another one of their photographers but only at the reception. Because "I don't want you feeling like you're at work during the ceremony, you're our friend.", was the reasoning she'd given her and Ella smiled at her and promised she'd only pull her camera out during the reception.

Miles had appeared then, interrupting the wedding chat to crush Ella in a tight hug, "Fucking finally! We've been waiting for you!" The scouse had made her giggle with the scoff he'd let out after that.

"Sorry, had to get a new flight and it was shit." Ella replied with a struggle from how tight he was holding her.

Miles left a wet kiss on her cheek and pulled back, "Don't apologize. You're here now."

Ella nodded with a sweet smile, letting herself indulge in Miles' side hug and starting up a conversation with him and the rest of the group.

About five minutes later, when they were trying to get information out of Breana about Kelly's bachelorette party or hen do—as the british girls called it—Matty and Flo finally came out of the band's trailer with multiple drinks in hand.

They were carefully coming down the stairs managing to grip onto two cups on each hand when behind them someone yelled, "Oi! What were those two doing alone in our trailer?" It was when they continued saying, "You nasty bastards!" that Ella recognized it was Matt walking back with the rest of the band following behind.

"Oh my god!" Ella yelled, letting go of Miles and completely missing whatever Matty had yelled back at them because she was too busy running towards them.

She had her guestlist wristband on so security didn't stop her when she jetted off to hug the first person she saw, which was the drummer.

Matt had barely even seen her when she threw herself at him, "Ellie! You're here!"

"I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I was late." She truly was sorry but he wasn't having it.

Matt held her tighter and shook his head, "No need to apologize Ellie, it's all fine. You're here!"

Before she could apologize once more, the rest of the band joined them in the hug. They all crushed Ella in between their bodies and said her name in unison which had her laughing.

By the time they'd all let go and given her space, she had shed a few tears. She turned around with a pout and hugged them one by one, apologizing again and again for being late, for which Alex had gone and hugged her again when she was done hugging everyone.

Alex held her tight and rubbed up and down her back, "I told you that all that mattered is that you'd be here darling, and you are."

"I caught the encore." She mumbled in his ear, sniffling.

He loosened his grip on her and made her look up at him, "Did you like it?"

"It was insane Al. The crowd was so loud! And the strings!" Ella fanned her face to gather herself, "I will cry just picturing how it was from the very start."

"Don't cry darling." Alex cooed, brushing some of her hair behind her ear and wiping a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "We'll catch a rerun of it on TV next week, it's okay."

She didn't have time to keep protesting because Alex started leaving kisses all over her face until she giggled. It was only when she couldn't breathe from laughter that he stopped, getting a hold of her hand and followed the lads walking back to where everyone was gathered.

When they got there though, Ella was met with someone she didn't know. Thankfully, Alex was quick to introduce them to her.

"Ella, this is Penny, my mum. Penny, this is Ella." He let go of her to let her freely hug his mum.

And that Ella did, holding Penny tighter when she'd said "Oh it's so lovely to meet you, sweetie."

"You too. Happy birthday, by the way. That was a lovely serenade you got just then."

Penny cooed, "Oh thank you. And it was, wasn't it?" She turned to her son to steal a hug from him, "Thanks to this one."

Alex relished in his mum's embrace, leaving a kiss on top of her head. "Love you mum." She saw as she was all ready to walk out, her friend waiting for her beside his manager by the entrance of the backstage area. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, so sorry to leave you lot but I can't be camping out anymore. I'm not fit for this lifestyle now." Penny joked, looking at everyone who was watching the interaction intently.

Ella scoffed, acting like Penny was saying just pure lies, "What are you on about? I was gonna take you out dancing to celebrate!"

Alex's mum laughed at that, gently grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Oh sweetie, that's a tempting offer, that."

Flo joined in Ella's antics, "We'll bring the party up north next week then Penny, get yourself ready."

"That better be a promise." She pointed at the girl she had seen grow up, and Flo blew her a kiss in response.

Alex left Ella with their friends to walk his mom back to her friend, making sure they were all set to leave. And as he went back, he couldn't believe his eyes.

He had been anxiously waiting all day for her to arrive, his heart beating a bit faster the closer it got to their set. He tried blaming it on headlining Glastonbury for a second time but he knew deep inside that really wasn't it. Yes it was making him nervous, but most of all it was because of Ella.

When he had walked on stage, he had anticipated that his thoughts would be fully taken over by the crowd and the place they were at, but he had been wrong—the thought of where Ella was, held a place in the back of his head throughout the whole set.

And when they had been taken to BBC Radio's lounge to get interviewed and saw the mirrorballs hanging from the ceiling, along with the cow print on the floor, he was taken back to Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

He'd been so fucking glad to see her there as they came back. And now, walking back and seeing her laugh with his childhood best friend, it was a sight that had him grinning brightly to himself.

The group seemed to be talking very eagerly about something, and he was just beyond happy that Ella fit perfectly with them all. His smile only faltered when he was getting closer to them and Ella snapped her head in his direction with a deep frown and a gasp.

"Alex Turner, how could you keep this information from me?!" Ella asked loudly, as she had just been embarrassed for not knowing something that seemed like everyone knew.

Alex giggled, frowning back at her, "What?"

"You've never told me that your best friend's husband is in a band as well?" Matty had just said he was excited for the next day and Ella had asked what was happening, which Flo had laughed hard about when she realized Alex had failed to mention it to her.

"Oh," he cringed, "Sorry darling." He apologized to Ella first and then turned to Matty to make sure he hadn't taken offense by it, which he hadn't but just in case Alex said, "Sorry mate."

"S'alright." Matty waved off with an amused smile at Ella's bright red cheeks.

But Ella didn't agree, "Yeah, it's not for me but whatever."

Alex laughed, noting that she had a drink in hand and he guessed that would have to do a little bit with her current mood. "What are you drinking Eleanor?"

"It's called 'none of your business', isn't it Flo?" Ella asked the brunette seriously.

Flo tried to match her seriousness but her smile couldn't be held back, "That's right."

Alex took the drink from her, only to take a sip and when he did he realized what it was. "Angel, you gave her a jagerbomb? She can't handle alcohol, she's gonna be plastered by half past."

"Well, I'll blame this beautiful angel right here." Ella nodded towards his best friend, playing with the word he had just called her, and Flo did a small curtsy back at her.

Alex hadn't expected this duo to be such trouble. He feared them and Bre together would be even worse and he didn't know what to expect.

"Of course you will." Alex shook his head with a smile, and Flo winked at him. She knew him like the back of her hand, and she could just see it all written on Alex's face. He was whipped.

It had been a lovely night, slowly and with the help of the drinks, the buzz the lads had gotten from the night had gone down and by three in the morning, they were all ready to go to sleep. Especially Ella, who despite having multiple jagerbombs with Flo, had succumbed to her exhaustion from her long day traveling.

The lads had their tour bus parked somewhere in the fields, so after the group said bye to Matty and Flo who were staying with the rest of their group, they took on a long drunk walk back to the bus. It had been filled with giggles at the clumsy steps they'd take, especially Ella and Bre's who were holding onto Miles' arms and subsequently making him trip with them.

The walk back had been exhaustingly long to them all in their drunken states, so when they finally reached the massive vehicle, they jetted off up the stairs by the door and chose the first bunk they saw.

Thankfully no one had chosen their bunks yet so there wasn't any bickering about someone stealing someone else's bed but it was hilarious to Alex, who had been the last to go up, to see everyone lazily slump into the beds and groan in relief when they could finally rest their bodies.

Due to how drunk everyone was, they had passed out almost immediately and slept deep and uninterrupted all throughout the night, even through the choir of snores coming from Nick and Matt.

That was until the noise outside woke them up at around eleven and they all realized that if they didn't properly wake up soon and get ready for the day, they'd miss Matty's band.

So, like they had been shocked back alive, the girls started getting ready quickly. Ella was so thankful for the bathroom in the bus being a decent size and it hadn't been much of a burden getting ready in the enclosed space.

She was also grateful for the girls around her, who were going on and on about all that Ella was going to see and what she couldn't miss, warning her about different things around the field but making her more excited about it all by the second.

They all had a bite of food on their way to the stage The 1975 would perform on, and they got there just in time. Matty's band was due on stage in ten minutes, when the group walked up to where Matty and Flo were standing by the steps that would take them up the stage.

Ella was well aware she stood up like a sore thumb from how she was dressed, not that her black shorts and her The Doors shirt were strange but her black and silver cowboy boots were. She had earned herself quite a lot of glances as they paraded around the place, but she couldn't care less.

Matty pointed them out right away but with a compliment because he truly loved them, "Fucking love your boots Ella."

"Awh thanks Matty." She looked down at them, already muddy and dusty but she loved it, it reminded her of home.

His wife had taken the chance to tease him then, "Be careful, he might try to steal them. He's taken half my wardrobe."

Matty bit back saying, "We're married so what's yours is mine. Technically not stealing."

A very tall guy with a man bun walked behind Flo and clicked his tongue as he threw an arm around her shoulders, "He got you there baby."

"George, you're supposed to be on my side always." Flo complained, but leaned into George's touch.

"For that you've got your cousin." The tall guy argued with a smirk, which made Flo elbow him on the ribs.

Matty cackled watching George doubled over in pain and Flo took that moment to turn around and call over the two other members of the band to meet Ella.

Another very tall guy with a buzzcut came their way, along with a slightly shorter brunette, and when they stood beside her with soft smiles, Flo introduced them to Ella.

"Ella, this is George," She pointed to the tallest one who had just been hurt in the ribs, "This is Ross." She then signaled to the one with the buzzcut and finished by pointing at the brunette, "And this is my cousin, Adam."

Ella smiled at them, "Nice to meet y'all."

They all reciprocated the pleasantry with smiles of their own and they started small talk until they were called on stage.

The big Monkeys group stood on the side of the stage, watching The 1975 get cheered on as they grabbed their instruments.

As they played their first three songs, Ella made a mental note to listen to their music when she had the time because they were amazing live and they had this sound that she wasn't really used to listening but she'd just loved. They all had great stage presence, just by enjoying performing and dancing around, and it was funny to hear all the things Matty would just say in between lines.

Their little group had all cheered along with the crowd by the end of 'You' when Matty jumped on George's drumset and played the end of the song headbanging as he looked down towards George.

They all looked amazing on stage, and when the next song started and the crowd got even louder, they fed more off of their energy and somehow got even more hyper.

Ella was particularly entranced by George, seeing every single one of his facial expressions as he hit the drums had her just gawking at him.

She had leaned back a bit knowing that was the only way Flo and Bre would hear her say, "He's fucking hot." as she pointed at the drummer.

Alex's best friend laughed loudly at that, making Matt and Alex turn around to see what had happened and when she informed them of what Ella had just said, Matt joined the laughter while Alex only rolled his eyes in amusement.

"You fancy George then?" Matt asked loudly over the speakers.

"I mean look at him!" Ella had said, he truly looked amazing, "Oh, and Ross! Flo, even your cousin looks hot right now!"

"I'm glad we share opinions when it comes to George." Flo winked at her, "I'll make sure to relay the message."

Ella blushed just thinking about it and shook her head, mortified, "Oh god, no, don't."

"But you need a rebound!" Matt fought and Bre nodded intently.

"No, that'd be so messy!" Ella shook her head just thinking about how she wouldn't be able to act normal if she actually made a move on one of Flo's friends.

"That'd be messy alright. The nice kind of messy." Flo said and that just made Ella double over in laughter.

They kept listening to the rest of the song after that, and Ella was sure she'd have the chorus stuck in her head forever. 'Chocolate' was a hit, no wonder it had been their breakthrough.

She pouted when Matty said the next one will be their last, leaving her to wish to see a longer set of theirs in the future.

The strong riff of the guitar had her already hooked but it was the lyrics to it that made her slowly become obsessed with it.

When Matty turned around to point at Flo as he sang "She's got a boyfriend anyway", Ella gasped realizing this was about her. She screeched then when Matty turned back around to face the crowd and the lyrics got more interesting.

She couldn't help but become entranced by how proud Flo looked of Matty, it was so sweet to see the way she wholeheartedly sang along, her smile never leaving her face.

The end of the song was just heavy and perfect, made it erratic and Ella was absolutely loving it. Especially when the last line Matty sang was changed to "You've got a husband anyway" as he pointed at himself while looking straight at his wife.

Flo blew him a kiss and Matty turned around to play the outro of the song with all the energy he had, it was captivating. Ella was taken aback when it hit her that she was now friends with all these incredible musicians, it was truly a dream that had her pinching herself.

When the guys came off stage, it was pure adrenaline they were running on. Matty didn't take a second to kiss his wife earnestly, and Ella could almost cry from how adorable they were.

The rest of the day had been spent with them all running around the festival, sharing drinks as they tried to catch up to artists in different stages, bumping into friends like Zackery who had taken a few pictures of them—and introduced the band to a group of artists who had designed and hand painted a leather jacket for them at their request for a song in the upcoming album.

Ella had been loving how different yet similar the festival was when comparing it to Bonnaroo. The messy muddy fields, the loud chatter and laughter, the smell of good food in the air mixed with the good weed. She was on cloud nine and she didn't want to leave.

That night they watched The Rolling Stones and it had been absolutely insane seeing Mick Jagger on stage. She was sure she'd lose her voice from how loud she screamed when Mick Taylor was invited on stage and when they performed '2000 Light Years From Home'. She was sure she'd never be able to listen to The Rolling Stones the same ever again.

Sunday hadn't been any different. They had enjoyed every bit of the festival like it was the last they'd ever attend.

Ella had been so grateful to have experienced all of it, and she had made sure to tell Alex that multiple times. The group was so glad they had the massive bus to drive them back home and they needn't worry about a thing through the whole drive but be completely comfortable and enjoy the peace after the bustling weekend. It had ended up being almost three hours due to the traffic, but that had allowed them to rest longer so they didn't complain.

She'd asked to be dropped off at the hotel she was staying at and Alex had offered to go with her and then walk home as she wasn't staying too far away from his flat, but she declined because she knew he was exhausted and so was she so she walked in alone at four in the morning to check in.

It was amazing that it hadn't been a struggle to get checked in, she had been expecting something going wrong with that too after all that had happened at the airports when she was on her way there but it hadn't been, so with her keys in hand she made her merry way up to the fifth floor and to her room.

The little energy Ella had left in her was put into taking a shower, brushing her teeth and just plopping onto bed. The weekend had felt longer than just three days, it felt like it had already been a week since she'd had to run around Montreal's airport like a madwoman looking for a new ticket.

She sighed happily as she snuggled into the plush pillows in the dark, her eyes closed but behind her eyelids was the whole weekend playing like a film and she found herself filling up with warmth. She couldn't wait to see what else this trip would have in store for her, she only hoped it was all good.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The greatness of the London Eye had Ella trying to gather herself in search of words. She had been struggling to truly believe where she was since she woke up to a view she wasn't used to, gloomy and no sun out, the sky teasing a rainfall later, a little chilly when she went out the balcony for a smoke and the bustling of a city she was yet to get to know.

Alex had called her—thankfully they had figured out the whole cell roaming situation during the weekend so she wasn't uncommunicated and alone—, telling her to get ready as he was coming to get her and they'd be walking around London so she could get her proper touristy stroll around the city.

She had personally asked him for one at Glastonbury, when they were eating as they walked between stages, and he had gladly agreed to it. He wanted to be the one to witness her reactions to one of the cities he held so close to his heart.

Ella's steps slowed as they got closer to the attraction, people already in a long line at eleven in the morning.

"Holy fuck, it's huge." She gasped, staring all around the giant metal structure.

Alex just watched her mesmerized expression with a smile, "D'you wanna get on it?"

"Erm, not really. But I might as well have to, right?" She was looking at the very top of it which was barely in her line of sight but she would have to bear it because why would she come all the way there to not get on it.

"Flying all the way here to not get on it would be regrettable." He said honestly, it looked scary but it was a great experience, one that he didn't want her to miss.

Ella sighed, her brows a little furrowed as she gathered some courage, "Alright let's go."

They quietly walked to the end of the line, which had resumed moving slowly, and Ella felt her heart racing in her chest. Not only because of how she was shitting it thinking about how high she'd be once inside but from the memories coming aggressively to the forefront of her mind.

Valentine's day, Belmont Park. With Alex beside her, just like at that very moment.

She smiled to herself, the thought of that day no longer bitter by any grudges she was holding. So she thought mentioning it might distract her and keep her from shaking. "At least it's a shorter wait than the one we did at Belmont Park, remember?"

Alex gave her a sweet smile, really enjoying the opportunity to think back to that day but he also wanted to take the moment to tease her as she was fidgeting in her place. "Still afraid of heights, darling?"

"Yes but don't remind me, or I'll make you take me to the next place to not get on." Ella smiled slightly embarrassed, her cheeks tinting a faint pink.

"You silly thing." Alex laughed breathlessly, reaching out to grab her wrist and pull her into his side to hug her, "Just think about all the stunning pictures you're gonna be able to take."

She melted into him, looking up and grinned brightly at him, "You just always know how to get me on your side, don't you?" It really did seem like it to her, how fast he could make her twist her arm into stepping out of her comfort zone so she'd enjoy herself.

He just stared down at her adoringly, counting every freckle on her cheeks and admiring how the makeup she had on just accentuated every little thing on her face. So he said sincerely, "I'm glad I do." because he was truly grateful he could.

About ten minutes passed, silence between them was comfortable but sometimes broken by small talk about random things they'd remember or things she was hoping to see and the possibilities of places they could visit.

They had stayed holding each other the whole time: Alex's arm around her shoulders, his fingers clutching her tightly, and Ella's arm around his waist, her thumb rubbing little circles over the fabric of his shirt.

That was until she had remembered about Alex and who he was and she had started overthinking and noticing more and more the glances the people in line were giving them, so she gently pushed herself away from him and he had to slowly let his arm drop from its place around her.

Alex gave her a questioning look and Ella recoiled into herself as she gave him an answer, "I just keep thinking people are looking at us– well, you. And I don't wanna get you in trouble."

"What do you mean?" The singer frowned, not really understanding in which way she'd do that.

"Well, I just feel like they keep glancing over here and I don't want you to get swarmed for being recognized." Her voice was small as she explained, scared of sounding stupid but in her head, it made sense.

He chuckled softly, brushing off his status. "Darling, I'm not that big of a deal."

But Ella wouldn't let him try to downplay it, "Sure you aren't Mr. Rockstar." She rolled her eyes with amusement, "This is your home country, and you're massive here."

Alex just shook his head to have her let go of her worries, "Not gonna get swarmed, darling." And then he further explained, "You know most—if not all—known people that do, is because they get their agents to put out their locations for paparazzi and media's attention right?"

"Oh?" Ella blushed, feeling oh so stupid, "Do they really?"

"Yeah, and it's bullshit. You'll never find me doing that so don't worry. We're safe." He assured, tucking her into his side once more and he smiled when he felt her arm snaking around his middle once again.

"It's just because you love the mysterious act, though, isn't it? Maintains the appeal." She pinched his waist to accentuate the teasing, making him laugh.

"Dickhead."

They laughed together then, falling back into a comfortable silence, just relishing in the warmth they got from each other. It wasn't awfully cold but it was chilly and it was how used she'd gotten to Californian weather that had her performing worse in weather that she used to be able to bear when she lived in Tennessee.

Alex kept her warm and cozy so Ella found herself really snuggling into him and he accepted it with a smirk on his face. Moments like this was all he wanted.

The minutes passed and Ella couldn't help but be hypnotized by the whole scene, especially when they moved further and further up the line until they ended up in a corner where they had the perfect backdrop of the Thames and the city of London.

He felt her get away from his hold again but when she saw her reaching down to grab the camera hanging from around her neck, he breathed calmly.

"Stay there, I wanna take a picture." She instructed, seeing that his position was perfect for a picture.

"Here?" Alex asked, not sure if she really wanted a picture of him right there and then.

But Ella showed him the prettiest smile and said, "Yep, just like that." and Alex couldn't say no, not that he'd really ever tell her no. "Smile for me, sweets." The pet name rolled off her tongue so easily when seeing him standing like that in front of her.

"Sweets?" A massive grin broke out on his face hearing her call him that, his insides melting at the simple word.

Ella pressed the shutter instantly, exhaling in relief at having caught that face in time. "Perfect."

"Sweets?" Alex asked again just to check he hadn't imagined that.

"Yeah..." She timidly confirmed, rolling the film and tucking the lever back in its place to turn off the camera and let it softly drop back over her chest.

He watched her take small steps towards him again and accepted her back in his arms with a "M'kay darling."

Ella poked his ribs making him jump before asking "You don't like it?"

Alex was quick to retort, "Who said that?"

"I don't know–" She tried to start but he was quick to dismiss the whole thing.

"I love it." He backtracked quickly and firmly with an honest smile on his face that had her biting her tongue and fighting back a smile just as big as his.

In no time, the line moved sporadically and it was sooner than expected that they were boarded into a capsule with a family of five.

Ella stepped inside with wobbly steps and Alex followed closely behind. "Oh my god..." Her words were breathless as she was taken aback by the view around her.

"That line was quicker than I expected." The singer thought out loud as he got beside her, both of them standing close to the windows.

But when she heard the glass doors closing and felt the capsule moving to the right, she took a big step back and reached back to hold his hand. "Al, you're gonna have to stay near me because this is freaking me out."

He squeezed her hand in his and giggled, "I'll stay right here."

"Okay..." Ella mumbled unsure but soon her whole attention was taken by how perfectly she could see it all in front of her. "This is so beautiful."

Alex could feel her hands growing sweaty and starting to shake so he took it upon himself to distract her. "You can see it all from here. Look," He pointed to their left, "That's Westminster bridge, the Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and Parliament." He listed as his finger pointed at each of the landmarks, making sure she was correctly watching each as he talked, "We can see it a bit better now that it's going up, oh and there's Buckingham Palace as well."

It looked so small from there but it was still breathtaking, "Oh wow..." Her heart was swelling in her chest now, just from being able to experience this, "We can see the whole city, Al!" She whispered with such excitement that made Alex want to coo at her.

"It's quite the view, isn't it." He took the smallest step towards her until he was pressed softly against her back and he leaned in to watch her face.

She turned to him completely mesmerized, "I think New York has got some big competition in my book now."

"A tough one between them two." He agreed, resting his chin on her shoulder for a second before standing back up straight again and pointing to their right now, "Oh look, over there is St. Paul's Cathedral. We're going there later 'cause I know you'll love it. And way back over there is the Tower of London and Tower Bridge."

Her eyes swam around the panoramic view and it was all well until she made the mistake of looking down to her feet and her heart sank. With her eyes closed, her panicked words came out incredibly fast, "I'm loving this view but I just accidentally looked down and I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack."

"You're okay darling, I'm here." Alex promised, taking his hand that was still intertwined with hers and wrapping that arm around her waist, "Just take your pictures, I won't move an inch."

She gulped and let her eyes open up again, feeling slightly better in his hold and slowly untangled her fingers from his to lift her camera, "Okay."

It certainly worked like magic. The second she started looking at the city through that viewfinder, it was like she had completely forgotten she was hundreds of feet above the ground in a spinning wheel, completely focused on capturing the panorama as best as she could.

Alex watched intently as she worked, noticing the little things she did like biting her lip as her finger hovered and seemed to hesitate for a few seconds over the shutter until she caught the perfect moment and it was just a triumphant smile as she turned the lever and then the cycle began again.

Ella counted the shots in her head and only stopped when she had only twelve frames left in the roll.

Letting her head fall on Alex's shoulder, she had to ask, "How long does this take again?" Only because she had felt like she'd lost track of time.

"Half an hour but it's already been fifteen minutes so we're halfway there." His fingers rubbed circles on her waist, sometimes the pads of his fingertips managing to get under her shirt and erupting goosebumps on her skin.

She felt like she was burning up so she let her camera drop back down on her chest and turned around to face him. "I'm just gonna stare at you now because if I look out I'm definitely gonna freak out." She giggled a bit, trying to trick herself into thinking that looking at Alex wouldn't have her chest tighten just as much.

"That's fine by me." He replied with a smirk.

But she didn't entertain his teasing, only giving him a sincere, "Thank you." in return.

His face fell into a sweet smile, "Nothing to thank me for, darling. I'm buzzing to have you here right now." He wasn't afraid to admit it at all, because he truly was beyond happy about the whole situation.

"See? Sweetness!" She softly exclaimed, bringing one of her hands up to cup his cheek but before Alex could get his hopes up on anything happening, she squished his cheeks with her hand, "You're just pure sweetness."

Ella felt his face go warm under her touch so with a giggle she let her hand fall back down. "Your hair looks great today." He looked great. In a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and his brown leather jacket—he had changed the Chelsea boots for white high top converse and a pair of sunglasses had been tucked into one of the pockets of his jacket.

"You like it?" Alex asked innocently like the simple compliment hadn't made his heart rate stutter.

She nodded, "You know I do. It always looks amazing but whenever it's just like this, without gel..." Her fingers combed through the freshly cut greaser looking hairstyle, "It's so soft."

He nudged her hand with his nose softly and joked, "Are you messing it up?"

She chuckled, combing through it again and again to give it its perfect shape, "I'm fixing a few strands here." She used both her hands then to bring a few of the strands to fall on his forehead like she loved. "There you go."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Look good?"

Ella's answer was quick, "Beautiful." And she didn't waste a beat to ask, "Can I have another picture?"

"Of me?" Alex asked naively and she just hummed, so he shrugged and nodded, "I suppose."

"I wanna have one of this very moment. With you, my favorite tourist guide." She joked in the end to make it seem less like she was baring her heart out to him.

"Right." He chuckled, his eyes crinkling around the edges slightly.

But she wanted more, she wanted to see his grin fully reach his eyes. "C'mon sweets, show me that gorgeous smile."

Her teasing worked because he felt his cheeks warming again and he had to keep himself from averting his gaze from hers, "Stop." He only said, half a warning but mostly a plea for mercy on his heart.

"What?" Ella inquired like she had nothing to do with it, if she only knew all that she did to him. "Amazing, t'was perfect." She complimented once more.

Alex had to change the topic then because he felt like he could combust any second, "Are you taking them in black and white?"

She had mentioned it earlier when he'd called her, as she was debating whether or not it'd look better. "Decided against it last minute. I don't know, there's something about the atmosphere today that I just wanted to capture the closest to reality I could."

He hummed, understanding what she meant, "You can always take the black and white ones later, you're staying three weeks after all."

Ella smiled brightly at the reminder, that many days just sounded so promising and she couldn't ignore how this was one of the very few times she felt ecstatic thinking about the uncertainty of what the future had to hold.

"So glad I am. It's barely been three days and I already know this is one of the best trips of my life."

"It's only just getting started darling." Alex winked, making a giggle bubble up her throat again and what a lovely sound that was.

Just like that, they had done the full ride and they hadn't realized it was done until they heard the doors open back up, way too entranced in their own little bubble. It was lucky that the rest of the people inside their capsule were on holiday and no one from the family had interest in finding out who they were or interrupting what they were doing.

When they walked out, Alex let out a loud laugh when Ella thanked God for firm soil multiple times, said so devotedly like she wasn't a determined atheist.

From there, they walked through Westminster Bridge to get to Big Ben. Ella had gasped as their feet took them across the bridge and asked Alex to pinch her because she felt like she was dreaming.

She couldn't believe her eyes were actually seeing all of that for themselves in real life and not through stock pictures on Google.

Seeing her glowing from her excitement had Alex's heart breaking as he had to give her some bad news. "This actually has me fuming now because this is just one of those things everyone wants to see once in their life but, a few years back they closed all Big Ben and Parliament tours to people who aren't UK citizens or residents so unfortunately I won't be able to take you inside for a tour."

Ella clearly deflated but it was in an instant that she really turned the situation around in her head. She shook her head standing in her place, making Alex stop beside her on the sidewalk, and she pointed at the landmark right in front of them, "But I'm seeing it right now and that's what counts, Al. It's okay."

Alex hummed reluctantly, still disappointed at not being able to give her the best experience. "We can walk around it, I'm half sure there's some places you can manage to take a peek inside."

She giggled and grabbed his hand, fingers intertwining as she went ahead and dragged him behind her to finish their walk through the bridge. Alex didn't say a word, his smile permanently stuck on his face as he watched her walk enthusiastically in front of him.

She had changed her roll of film right when they got to the street across the monumental place. Alex chuckled as she made him help her by covering her device with his jacket so that her first roll didn't mess up as she put it away, and the new one didn't either as she locked it and rolled it inside before placing the lid back in its place.

They resumed their walk, Alex closely walking next to her with a hand hovering on her lower back as she kept her hands engulfed around her camera but he felt the need to keep his touch on her.

Ella had taken so many pictures already, and about fifteen minutes later she had grown worried she hadn't stuffed enough rolls in her bag before leaving her hotel room. Half the frames she had captured had been of him, either smiling at the camera or unaware as he walked beside her with a burning cigarette resting between his lips.

There was a particular one in which she had stopped without saying a word and he had kept walking a few paces before noticing she wasn't beside him anymore, and when he turned around to search for her, the shutter went off.

Her heart kicked in her chest at the memory of that one picture she had taken of him, back at the start of 2012 when the lads had just come back over to Los Angeles and she had taken them around the city, the one where he was looking back at her with the rest of the band walking in front of him.

Her throat ran a little dry as she placed her camera back down to rest on her chest and watched Alex walk back towards her.

"You've been taking so many pictures of me already, let me take yours." His voice sounded almost like a beg and her knees went a little weak.

Only because of the way he'd said that had made her feel, Ella sighed with a smile and pulled her camera back up, "Alright, I'll show you how to."

She showed him the basics around her in a simple manner and he seemed to catch it all quite quickly. After all, he had seen Matt taking pictures and had gotten ahold of the drummer's cameras throughout the years so it all came back to him when Ella had done her brief run down.

Alex listened to her instructions of having him take a few pictures of their surroundings just so he could get comfortable, and it only took two to have him nodding and reassuring he was ready to take her picture. Ella nodded with a shy smile and took two steps back to stand in front of the camera.

Truth be told, Ella had always preferred being behind the camera and not in front of the lens but it was just because she never thought she was interesting enough to be the constant subject of pictures.

Alex couldn't think of her more differently. Seeing her with a bright smile that had her eyes closing, her hands intertwined in front of her as she softly leaned her head to the side and her hair so perfectly falling over her shoulders had him thinking about how if she looked this breathtaking in front of the camera in such a normal setting, then she needed to be in front of it at all times.

That's why right after the shutter sound went off and she relaxed again, he rolled the film and took another picture without warning her.

That made her shriek and hide behind her hands, "Alex no! It's gonna look so bad!" Ella's words were muffled as her hands covered her face.

"I'm looking through the viewfinder and you look stunning, darling." He was quick to reassure her, "Now could you please drop your hands? I want to take another one." His skilled fingers rolled the film once more as he tried his best to convince her with his eyes.

That unfair look in his eyes made it so impossible to resist anything he could ever suggest. "Last one?" She made sure to ask him before giving in.

"Fine, last one." He agreed with a sigh, his stomach doing somersaults at having gotten away with it.

She slowly let her hands fall back by her sides and it wasn't until he said, "That's it. Beautiful, darling." that he took the picture as her face broke in another massive grin that made his heart skip a beat.

Ella ignored the way her tummy was fluttering as she reached out for her camera, "Alright sweets, that's enough." She wasted no time to push the lever back in its place and hook the camera strap around her neck again, the camera falling to rest on top of her chest.

"Only for now." He countered smoothly, making her scoff out a laugh.

After that they continued walking, leaving Big Ben and Parliament behind to make way to Westminster Abbey.

The massive church was breathtaking. Its structure was gothic architecture perfection inside and out, which accompanied by the stunning gardens and sculptures just made Ella be more in awe.

The gray sky tied everything together, the birds flying around and resting in the old walls and peaks, the tinted windows looking straight out of a painting.

Ella spent a full roll there, small gasps leaving her mouth every corner they turned. She had even been so entranced by the devotees kneeling on the seats and offering their prayers, unbothered by the rest of the people walking around them. Religion was a concept that fascinated her because of how much she just didn't get it like those people praying did.

Once out of that place, they walked to Buckingham Palace and it was a funny stroll since Ella couldn't stop bouncing on her feet like a little girl, asking loads of questions she could come up with about the Royal Family.

"You know," She started with a small smirk on her face, "Prince Harry is fit."

Alex cackled at the way she said it, listening to her try and incorporate British slang in her vocabulary had been endearing all weekend and he was glad she wasn't stopping it. "Oh really?"

Ella hummed eagerly, "I wonder if he'd give an American a chance."

"So you're aiming for the Royals now?" The singer inquired rhetorically with a cheeky smile.

She shrugged, smirking back at him, "Why not?"

Alex chuckled, "That's ambitious."

"Well I like to think of myself as an ambitious person."

With a nudge to her hip, he grabbed a hold of her hand so they could walk a little faster, "Alright Miss Ambitious, we're almost at your lover's place."

From afar Ella could see the palace behind the trees and she thought about the different instances a person could be allowed into the place. "I'm sure we could get in if you just said you're from the biggest British band in history."

"The Beatles are way older than me and half of them are dead so I don't think they'll believe me."

Ella snorted at how nonchalantly he'd just said that and turned her head to look at him as they kept on walking, "Oh you're being humble now."

Alex scoffed playfully, like her words had offended him, "When am I not?"

"I can list some instances." She shrugged again with a teasing smirk on her face.

His eyes narrowed at her as if challenging her to start talking, "Enlighten me then."

But all Alex was met with was silence as they finally got to the big black and gold arches and crossing the road from there was the monumental place standing there in all its glory. The Victoria Memorial was even bigger and more spectacular than she'd seen in pictures, the gold against the gloomy sky and the greenery around was leaving her breathless.

So Ella dropped Alex's hand and started snapping away, frame after frame until they walked closer to the gates of Buckingham Palace and she caught a glimpse of the beefeaters standing there like they were frozen in time and just that got her even more excited about it all.

"They look like little dolls! Oh my god, look at them!" She waved them hello so enthusiastically making Alex hold giggles back and when the guards just stood there without moving a single inch, she turned back to pout at Alex.

The shaking of his head and the "You're so painfully American," he gave her contrasted immensely against his growing smile.

"Hey!" Ella gasped and poked him in the ribs, "Don't call me out like that, I was blending in perfectly well." She joked but she was well aware she hadn't been.

"Yeah, sorry. You were, darling." Alex corrected, faking agreeing with her, "Everyone's a tourist here, so yes you were blending in perfectly well." He changed his words to tease her further and the way her jaw dropped a bit and she frowned at him made him laugh.

They were there for about twenty minutes, walking slowly and taking their time so Ella could capture the moment the best she could. She had taken a few of Alex when he wasn't noticing but at the third one she'd gotten caught, meaning she got pictures taken of her by Alex.

As they waited for some people to move around so they could get a better view from a different angle, they were playing a game that had started with Ella making funny guesses about members of the Royal Family and their hobbies, which had earned her multiple laughs from Alex as she really had no clue about anything to do with the Royals.

Eventually, when the place started getting more crowded, they decided to move onto the next place which Alex had said would be Piccadilly Circus so they could get some lunch and then continue on.

Trafalgar Square had been captured in multiple of her frames and she had finished her film roll as they walked up to the restaurant they were going to eat at. Once again Alex had helped her change her roll covering her camera with his jacket, giggling as she struggled to properly roll it as she couldn't see well what she was doing in the darkness they were making for the film to not get fucked.

Once Ella had managed to set everything up, Alex had asked her if he could have the camera for a bit and of course she said yes. The prospect of getting Alex into one of her passions had her smiling as he took pictures of a place he already knew so well and since she knew he was capturing the views for her, she took her own time to take everything in: the streets, the people, the chatter going on around her, the restlessness of the city, the smell of smoke and coffee every time they walked past a coffee shop, the memories in the making around her that she'd never get to know.

She loved it all.

Ella was so entranced by the scene and completely caught up by her thoughts that she'd missed the multiple times Alex had managed to sneak a picture of her. Only really catching him smiling proudly at her as he lowered the camera from his eyes when she had turned to point at a girl who was wearing an Arctic Monkeys shirt as she smoked outside a restaurant.

Alex chuckled, letting the camera hang around his neck and getting a hold of Ella's hand to then keep walking to the place that was not very far away from where they were then.

When they got there, Ella had been surprised by the fact that Alex had gotten a reservation for them and he had almost perfectly timed it all. They only showed up ten minutes early to their table and it wasn't a fuzz for them to wait.

He offered her a cigarette and, between chatter, they waited for their turn to come up. It had been relatively easy as they finally talked about the adventure it had been for Ella to fly over and it had ended with them hugging as Ella got a bit upset again over not being able to see their full set.

With a promise to find out when they'd be replaying their set on BBC, they went back to get seated as it finally had turned into the time they had the reservation for.

They didn't rush through their meal, enjoying every minute they could get in the lovely restaurant and talking about absolutely anything that came to their minds. And after a pouty Ella—since he hadn't let her pay for the meal—had let Alex take a picture of her with the English streets in the background, they had left the place to resume their stroll.

Their pace was slower then, Alex had suggested taking a cab to get to the next place so she didn't have to walk that much but Ella declined it saying it was alright plus she loved how they could just simply walk places around the city unlike in Los Angeles. It was only when they got to Covent Garden and walked past the underground station that she asked why they hadn't used it yet.

"This one has 193 steps to go up and down it. I was being kind not taking you through it to get here but we can take it to get to St. Paul's if you'd like."

Ella had gasped at the information, because who the fuck in their right minds would make a station have that many stairs. "193?!" She asked again and Alex nodded amused at her disbelief, "Why?"

He chuckled and shrugged, "Been asking the same question for far too many years."

"That's insane." She said under her breath as they continued walking, then remembering his suggestion, "And no, let's not do that. Can we take the bus? I've yet to get on one and I really want to be the cliché American being amazed on every type of your public transportation."

Alex's laughter reached her ears, making her grin brightly at him. "Of course we can." He assured her and Ella scrunched her nose at him for being adorable, but then he continued, "And you're being the best cliché American. Really off the charts performance, darling." making her roll her eyes in amusement.

Between teasing comments, giggles and playful nudges, it didn't take them long to get to the Apple Market and there Ella was instantly blown away by the amount of shops and market-type kiosks of trinkets, hand-made jewelry, souvenirs and art.

They took their time walking around, really ignoring the retail shops because Ella was far more interested in taking her time to look around the little stands in the middle of the place, and it was all so beautiful.

The variety of goods that were offered out for everyone was amazing, and she gasped when they made it to a stand that was offering analog cameras, leather and handmade camera straps, camera cases and lenses.

She had thought about getting one of the few medium format cameras that were there but decided against it after a good few minutes of internal debate. Alex had watched her amused the whole time and giggled when she went from staring between a Halina, a Rolleiflex and a Pentax to getting one of the leather camera cases along with a strap and bought it.

It was bad how indecisive she was because she had spent so much time in the first few shops that she felt the need to rush through her indecision which ended in her buying at least one thing from every shop she had purposely stopped by.

There was a little red bus in her bag, along with a few magnets, her new camera case and strap, a locket, a few pins, a set of coasters and the last kiosk they were looking at was full of rings, necklaces and more handmade jewelry.

Ella easily fell into conversation with the lovely old man who was the owner of the little store. She had complimented him after he told her it was him who made every piece by hand, and she took her time to look intently through it all.

A few minutes passed of her taking a closer look at the different accessories but since she couldn't make a proper choice, she turned to Alex for help.

With her lips pressed she grabbed his wrist to pull him closer and in a bit of panic, she looked up to him and asked, "Could you choose for me please?"

Alex bit his bottom lip not to chuckle at the soft frown on her face and nodded, "Anything in particular, darling?"

Ella looked back at the table, giving it a quick sweep and she found her attention mostly on the hand jewelry. "Maybe a ring?" She tried saying but it sounded more like a question, "They're all stunning." She added then in a quiet whine like it hurt her that everything was too pretty and she couldn't choose.

The singer hummed and stepped closer to the table under the gaze of the old man who had a small smile on his face seeing them two together. Alex took less than a minute, his decision being made when he found one which had a pretty green stone in the middle of the gold band of the ring. "This one." He grabbed it and it seemed to be just the right size, so grabbing her right hand in his, he slipped it on her ring finger. The sight of her Pure Desire tattoo sparking too many thoughts in his mind that he had to push aside.

Ella was breathless seeing him putting the ring on her but she fully felt like she had forgotten how to breathe when he added, "Matches your eyes." with the sweetest smile.

Her eyes didn't move from his for a few seconds that felt eternal to them, dropping to the ring and then back up at Alex to ask, "Does it?"

"Yes," He nodded, completely satisfied with his choice, "Stunning." He complimented, but he wasn't speaking about the piece of jewelry because his gaze was firm on Ella's gorgeous eyes.

She scrunched her nose at him, he was just too cute for her to handle so with rosy cheeks she turned back to the man in charge of the kiosk and deemed that being the last purchase of the day. The lovely man was smiling brightly at them and agreed with Alex when he noticed Ella's hazel green eyes.

Alex had puffed his chest out in pride of it, saying a smug "I know" to the old man and making Ella laugh as she paid. He practically had the color of her eyes permanently imprinted in his mind, he didn't ever have to think hard to remember them and how it felt to get lost in her eyes.

She left the old man with a long hug and Alex gave him a hand shake before the two moved onto the next stop which would be St. Paul's Cathedral. And just like Alex had promised her they would do, they took a bus to the church.

It had been hilarious capturing her smile with her camera as one of the red busses approached them and he had been hearing and seeing her little giddy noises and how she just couldn't really stay still in her seat.

The cathedral had been breathtaking and, again, Ella had snapped away multiple pictures as they walked around. She had been fairly wary of the lots of people worshiping their religious figures then so she tried not to take too many so the shutter going off wouldn't interrupt them.

When they left to go to the next place, they ticked off another thing off Ella's list as they rode the underground to go over to the Tower of London. The only thing she had been overly excited about was the way the stations looked because then being in the tube felt just like taking the train in New York, only cleaner.

Alex had managed to get a picture of her standing there waiting for their train to arrive, and he hoped the frame had captured the big grin that tugged at the corner of her lips making her eyes crinkle at the edges before she had hid her face behind her hands.

The Tower of London had been quite informative, at first she had walked in completely amazed by the structure and architecture of the castle so she was taking picture after picture of the inside and the greenery of the courtyards but then they started walking into the exhibitions and she had forgotten about her camera to read the signs around the rooms.

Going to see the crown jewels had been hilarious to Alex since Ella had been trying so hard to keep her cool as there were beefeaters guarding the exhibition. The White Tower had been rather concerning because of the torture chamber that was located there, and the Green Tower had been as well as it was where the execution memorial was held. And the last bit of the place they had visited was the Bloody Tower which had left Ella gasping as they found it was named that because of the murders of two princes which had been suspected to be done by their own uncle.

They talked about everything they had seen as they slowly walked out of the place and under the Tower Bridge, it was getting late and the sun seemed to be getting ready to set already. She yawned and hid it under her right hand, Alex getting a hold of her left hand and intertwining their fingers so she would walk with him at his pace.

"Where are we going?" Ella asked intrigued, they weren't going very fast but it was like he had the intent of getting somewhere on time.

"Just a bit further down here." He pointed forward with a tilt of his chin and continued walking.

Ella had no other option than to walk along him, and it had been the best day strolling around the city with him so there wasn't a bit in her that wanted to complain about a single thing.

They walked past a Starbucks and to her right she saw a little stand that sold boat tickets. They were walking right by the Thames after all so it wasn't rare to see all the people that were walking ahead of her and stopping by the railing along the short brick column.

As they walked closer to the people gathering for the view of the bridge, Ella finally saw the sculpture that stood there in a fountain and she let out a little gasp of awe.

"That's so cute! I'm gonna take a picture." She squeezed Alex's hand before slowly letting go of it and quickly turning on her camera and getting as close as she could between the people gathered there to get a good frame of the sculpture with the view of the bridge and the city behind it.

She snapped a pair and went back to Alex, excusing herself as she made her way through the people in the way.

"Are we not staying here?" She inquired when Alex grabbed her hand again and pulled her along with him, seeing as everyone seemed to stand next to the fountain to watch the sun go down.

Alex shook his head, "There's a few benches over there and way less people, so we can sit and watch the sunset quietly and alone."

Ella intertwined their fingers properly again with a grin and let him guide her to where he was referring to. It wasn't longer than another minute when they saw a lonely bench by a tree which had the perfect view of the bridge without it being spoiled by the people standing at the railing.

They sat down and sighed in relief, their backs and their feet aching after the long day, yet their smiles were stuck on their faces as they moved closer to each other and Ella let her head fall on his shoulder.

Alex left a kiss on her head before resting his head over hers, making Ella snuggle closer to him and inhaling deep in comfort.

"Thank you." Her voice was low and soft, with the echoes of the people chattering around them, he almost missed it.

His head turned slightly to be able to glance down at her, "What for?"

Ella kept her gaze on the city, being slowly bathed in orange and pink hues as the sun fell to bed down the horizon. "For today. It was lovely and you're the best tourist guide ever."

The last bit held such playfulness that earned her a snort from him, "I'm glad you liked it, darling." And Alex truly meant it, closing his eyes and relishing in the feeling of having her close to him.

"Absolutely loved it, sweetness." Her hand went to grab his—they had let go when they got comfortable on the bench—, intertwining their fingers and rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. "You know if the rockstar gig doesn't work you can just take people around the city and make them pay you for your charm." He felt her move her head a bit and when he looked down at her, she had her eyes set on his face with a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Alex lifted his head to match her smirk and played along, "Charming am I?"

"You know you are." Ella rolled her eyes as if it annoyed her telling him the truth so she added, "Don't let it get to your head, it's already too big as it is."

The singer scoffed, straightening his back so he put a small distance between them, "Oh wow, thanks."

The American girl let out a small "Nooo," and hooked her arm through his to bring him back into her side. "I'm joking, I'm joking."

He hummed doubtfully but let her pull him closer. "You better be because you've got a bigger head than mine." He quipped back at her, making her gasp.

It was her turn to put some distance between them as she pulled herself off him with an offended frown, "Excuse me?"

But Alex looked at her completely disregarding her expression and teased her by saying, "Mhm, you're excused."

Ella gasped, "You're such a little shit." and poked him in the ribs, cackling when he jumped and let out a little yelp. She was so glad she got him back beside her after a whole month, "I missed you so much."

"Missed you more darling." He reciprocated, snaking his arm around her waist to pull her into his side. "We should go watch a film soon, I know it won't be the same but we haven't gone to the cinema together in far too long and I miss going to Los Feliz with you."

A bright grin broke out on her face, thinking back to the times they had been able to go to Los Feliz together. "Isn't it amazing? I'm so glad I got you obsessed with it too."

And without really thinking it through, Alex admitted something that had been making rounds in his mind for a while, "Making me consider moving to LA, you."

She rolled her eyes playfully, shaking her head looking at the view in front of them, "Yeah sure."

But, staring right at her and pinching her side so she'd look at him, he promised, "Swear down."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she chatted back, "Don't believe you, Turner."

His right hand came to clutch his chest like her lack of trust hurt his heart, "Rude. I thought you loved me and I was your best friend."

Her gaze stayed on his, unwavering and trying to gather her thoughts so she could answer but the only thing she came down to say was, "Touché."

She scooted back close to his side and rested her head on his shoulder, his fingers that were holding her waist had started rubbing circles on it over the fabric of her shirt. Ella was glad she had been able to control the shivers his touch gave her and took a deep breath as they watched the gorgeous sights in front of them.

The sky was turning lilac then and the dying sun was painting the cloud a beautiful pink and orange. It was breathtaking seeing the city coated by the colors, it was truly out of a painting and it somehow got even more beautiful as the minutes went by, the shades growing more intense and the urge of capturing it bubbled in her chest.

"This is stunning." Her words were breathless as she turned on her camera, trying to remember if it was four or five frames she had left in her current roll but only shooting three just to not mess up any of her previous pictures on the roll.

Alex watched her focusing as she watched the landscape through the viewfinder, her eye squinted and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Can I get a picture of you?" He asked as soon as she brought her device back down to rest on her chest.

Ella hesitated for a second but before she could agree, she remembered the lack of proper lighting, "The flash is gonna ruin the sunset and if I don't use it, it will look too dark."

He thought of it only for a second, knowing she knew more about it than him but came to a different solution, "With my phone then."

She hummed like she was considering it, but her decision was taking longer than what he wanted so he bumped his head against hers softly and said, "C'mon darling."

When Ella turned to see him, Alex was grinning at her like he knew she was going to fold and she rolled her eyes when she finally agreed, "Okay just a quick one." She turned off her camera before she could move, purposely taking longer to do that.

Switching seats so he could take the picture properly, and taking her camera from her, Alex pulled up his camera on his phone and turned the flash on. "How does Bre get you to let her take your picture?" He wondered out loud as Ella shied behind her hands and took a few deep breaths.

Letting her hands drop, she shrugged and smiled, "Because it's Bre."

But before he could snap the moment away, Alex rolled his eyes and said, "Right, I forgot you're secretly in love with her still."

"Oh shut up." She hit his knee with hers, truly meaning it when she replied, "She's my best friend."

With that he smugly raised his phone back up, and with a, "And so am I, so smile for me darling." he waited for her to give him a big smile to take the picture.

He lowered his phone as he went to his camera roll to see how it had turned out, "That look alright?" Ella asked shyly, trying to see the product as he was grinning like an idiot at his screen.

Alex nodded intently, "Yes, I love it." And he wasn't lying, her eyes had closed from how big she had smiled, her cheeks rosy almost as much as the pink in the sky and once again he was brought back to that day they spent together in the west coast when he couldn't even begin to appreciate the sunset behind her as he drove because she looked so beautiful.

She demanded softly with a tug of his wrist, "Show it to me." And when she saw herself on his screen, she felt her cheeks heat up, "I look so..."

"Pretty?" He quickly finished the sentence for her.

But she shook her head, putting that to the side for the moment for her own good, "Blushy. My cheeks match the damn sky."

"You always are darling." He confirmed to her, "Don't think there's been many instances since 2011 when I've seen you and you've not been blushing."

She was properly embarrassed then, thinking about how dumb it was for her to always be blushing and for him to have noticed every time for the past two years, "Okay don't call me out now."

"Anyway, you look beautiful." The singer came back to see the picture once more and smiled to himself, "I'll send it to you now."

Her phone pinged with a notification of his text then and unlocking it to see it now on her screen, she sat comfortably again, shoulder to shoulder with him. "Thanks sweets."

His arm came around her shoulder and brought her into him, "You're welcome darling."

The minutes kept passing by and with it the sun lowered even more until it was completely gone and the sky went from orange, pink and lilac to a deep blue pierced by many stars which glistened as much as the lights of the city did.

Exhaustion was catching up to them, her eyes were closing and she was struggling to keep them open. Alex noticed when her hand started falling slowly from the top of her thigh where it was resting to the space between their legs.

So, softly getting a hold of her hand, he played with her fingers and asked in a low voice, "Should we head back to the hotel darling?"

Ella groaned but nodded, really wanting to get in bed and rest now. "Please?"

He pouted at her tired expression and slowly stood up after giving her a little squeeze, "'Course. Let's go."

Alex extended his hand out to her and she accepted it, letting him pull her up. "Thank you." She stumbled a bit, bumping into his chest where she rested her hand so she could stabilize herself.

He took advantage of how close he had her so he left a kiss on her temple and mumbled, "You're welcome." against it.

Turning around to leave, Alex grabbed her hand but she only moved an inch before she called out a "Wait." that he had barely managed to hear with the rumble of the city in the background.

"What's wrong?" He turned back to her with a small frown, he had her camera hanging from his neck and she had her bag hanging off her shoulder so he wasn't sure if there was anything she'd forgotten.

The bench was empty which confirmed she wasn't forgetting a thing but her frown softened up when she continued with a "Nothing just– c'mere," And she dropped his hand to open her arms up for him to walk into.

He of course obliged, taking a big stride her way and clutching her tight, her arms wrapped over his shoulders and his around her waist. She giggled when she felt her camera in the way of their chests pressing together, making for a rather awkward position but it was a hug from him so it was everything but. They swayed a bit in the embrace and he heard her say, "Love you Al, thank you for today." in his ear.

Filling up with warmth, the biggest smile showed on his face and he didn't waste another second to reciprocate, "Love you too Ellie." Kissing her cheek first, he pulled back to look into her eyes and make her understand that, "There's no need to thank me, darling. It was my absolute pleasure."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Personally, my heart burst writing this, and rereading it made me tear up. Wheels and Curly being here along with the rest of t1975, Alex and Ella reuniting, and then being absolutely adorable makes me wanna cry. Once again, a million thank yous to @imagine-that-100 for being wonderful and allowing me to have them here and expanding the multiverse a bit more, and I hope y'all enjoyed catching a glimpse of them in an alternate timeline because I certainly did fucking adore writing them in. If you haven’t read @nriacc yet, what are you waiting for? Anyway, I'm wondering now if you have any predictions about what's gonna happen in this trip, I would love to see what those predictions are and if there's anything you want to happen hehehe. Thank you so much for reading! See you in two weeks with the next!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @red---moon @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette

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dinsdjrn · 1 year ago

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everything i wanted | j. miller | track two

track one | track three | masterlist

bodyguard!joel AU

AU!Joel x singer!f!reader

summary: I'm scared to death I'll scream your name and still there's not a thing I would change. That's okay, but I think about it. rejection never gets any easier, but we all find ways to move on. [w.c: 4.4k]

tags for the series: 18+, minors DNI, angst/fluff/eventual smut, sarah's dead (plot), ellie is alive, parental manipulation/abuse (maternal) (reader is in a classic love bombing abuse cycle please note the mother is not redeemable), depression, drug and alcohol use, sobriety, stalker behaviour from a fan, will update as i go, this ones gonna get dark but it will have the happy feel good too! as always if anything is missing tell me and i will add it!

a/n: i am back from vacation and ready to write the days away. this one is for @tightjeansjavi who keeps me going and reminds me not to quit.

track two - think about it

It always felt weird to record a song that struck a chord close to your heart. You were pulling on the most exhausting day of your life, and it wasn’t even entirely yours anymore. It had been polished and produced into something you recognized, but not something you knew and understood. It was a frustrating, but undeniably, good song. It held some of the grit you craved, whilst keeping the image that was carefully curated for you.

Overall it had been a successful morning in the studio and your complaints were for you to bury alone. When everyone had taken a break to grab a coffee and come back with fresh ideas, you stayed behind to send a small clip to your parents.

[Audio Message]

Finally a complete song for the deluxe!! Can’t wait for you to hear the rest :)

Your dad loved the message, all you got back from your mom was a ‘Call me’.

You sighed making your way out into the hallway where there would be better reception. To no surprise Joel was just outside the door of the studio waiting.

“I’m just making a call, uh, to my mom,” you said, not entirely sure why you explained it to him.

“Do you want some privacy?” He asked.

“Oh, oh no, it won’t be long. Sorry, I just didn’t know-“ you rambled, cut off by your phone buzzing in your hand. You swiped to answer it, now flustered from the most meaningless interaction with Joel.

“Hey Mom, How’d you like the clip?” You asked excitedly.

You slowly sat down on the floor across the hallway from Joel.

It was something that could go either way, but you were hopeful your excitement would deter a rude remark.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She spat.

“What?” Your voice dropped, clearly defeated.

Joel looked at you perplexed. You just rolled your eyes and sighed.

“This isn’t a hit for the deluxe! Telling your fans you hate them is no way to make people WANT to listen to you,” She exploded, completely missing the point of the song.

“Well you’ve just heard a bit, it’s about more than that.”

“It’s not what it’s about, it’s how it’s perceived.” She was condescending.

“Okay, sorry mom.” Your voice broke.

“Well don’t make me out to be the bad guy, you asked for my opinion. At the end of the day it’s your album and whether you sink or swim is up to you,” Her tone was sharp and quick. It dug into your mind in a way only she knew how to do.

You weren’t sure why you put up with her anymore, maybe you felt guilty, maybe she is just under a lot of stress, maybe, maybe, maybe…

“No, you’re right,” you sighed wiping tears away, “We’ll work on it.”

“Love to hear it sweetie. The next one will be it I’m sure!” Her tone changed again, giving you emotional whiplash.

“I have to go, the studio is going back in.” You lied.

“Go on! Make a hit! I miss you!” She promptly hung up before you could reply.

As the call disconnected you felt the tears welling in your eyes spill over. Her words didn’t hurt you like they used to, they frustrated you to no end.

“Fuck,” you whispered.

You weren’t paying super close attention to your surroundings, but you felt a presence sit next to you on the floor.

“Hey, hey, it will be okay,” it was Joel talking to you, comforting you.

“I’m sorry, she is just so fucking frustrating,” you leaned your head back against the wall.

This was so beyond what you’d ever expect of him, but it was comforting nonetheless. Your heart swelled at the sentiment. You weren’t one to really crush on anyone, but Joel had this gravity to him that pulled you in.

“You’re okay, she has no idea how amazing it is,” he continued softly.

“What?” You asked, confused at this new softer side of Joel.

“The song, it’s great. I know people are going to love it.” He offered a small smile.

“We won’t know until it’s out there,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Well I know, for a fact, one fourteen year old girl is going to love it,” He continued, “Hell I’ll probably hear it so much I’d pay you to take it off the album for me.”

You offered a sympathetic laugh for his attempt at a joke.

“Ellie?” You asked.

“Yeah, the kid loves you, it didn’t connect until well… we got here.”

“What made you finally recognize my music?” You asked out of curiosity.

“The album on the wall, I’m pretty sure we have it on vinyl. And I’m fairly certain that vinyl rarely leaves the record player.” He rolled his eyes, they were softer than normal.

You weren’t sure if it was out of sympathy for your pathetic display, or fondness for discussing his daughter. Either way you liked this side of Joel, it tugged at your heart. His complexities making your mind wander, you want to see him, really know him.

“Well, she is welcome here anytime,” you said.

You placed a hand on his crossed arms, it sent a chill down your arm and spine. Just a touch sent you into a frenzy. Your hand lingered and the silence drew on for just a moment longer than it needed to. Joel cleared his throat and it brought you back.

“Thanks, uh, yeah thank you,” he turned away from you standing up.

You had stopped crying and stood up to meet Joel.

“Thanks, for being there. Well, and boosting my ego,” You smiled making your way to the door behind him.

“Anytime,” he said with some southern drawl.

You didn’t spend much more time in the studio that day. Your head wasn’t in it anymore and everyone could tell. You also had drinks with James to get ready for. Once everyone called it an early day you headed home to change and get ready for a night out. He didn’t say anything the entire way home, just like the day before. Joel followed, he kept his distance, staying in the common spaces looking somehow both devastating and intimidating.

“Joel,” you breathed, dizzy and giddy from the atmosphere and the alcohol in your system.

When you had agreed to go out, you only committed to one drink. Then one drink turned to four, and pounding back drink after drink made the world fade away. The booth gossip no longer interested you, you took James by the hand and made your way to the dance floor, Joel following suit.

“We should get you home,” he stated, attempting to shuffle you back to the table.

“This could be fun, if you let it! We could make the most of a bad situation!” You threw your head back and laughed.

You brushed your hand against his arm. This was bold and unlike you in all aspects, but you were letting go. Letting go of the past 3 days, letting go of the past 5 years, letting go of every rational thought you’ve ever had.

“No, you don’t know me. You’re drunk. I’m here to do a job, nothing more, nothing less.” He pulled away from you and forced you back to the table.

“Joel, you don’t understand. I haven’t felt like this for anyone in a long time and you have to tell me you feel it too.” Your tone growing serious, accusatory.

What he said next sent an arrow straight through your soul. It was sobering and rejection hadn’t hit this hard in a long time.

“I don’t, there is nothing between us. If you got caught up with me that quickly you’ll get over it twice as fast.”

His words winded you, you were too drunk to read him, but you tried. There was no sense of regret, mistruth, no sense of anything really. He was cold as the moment you met and it was harrowing. You’re sure if you were sober you’d see nothing but a cold, uncaring man.

You had never felt a pull like this from anyone, and in the short time you’d known one another you desperately wanted to believe he felt it too. That’s all it was though, desperation. The first person in so long that made you believe that they might care about you, even if it was just for a paycheck. In less than three days he had treated you like more of a human than half the people you had met in the last five years.

“Take me home, now.” You whispered. Unable to look him in the eye.

So he did, like any security detail would, he got you into the car with minimal disruption from paps. Not a word was spoken between you, the silence warped to your despair. Being turned down so blatantly was something you were used to from labels, but never like this. Never with someone you felt such a connection to so quickly.

In the car your phone buzzed, you thought it was James asking where you went. It came from an unknown number.

You can leave, but I will always follow…

It was definitely from the same person, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to care. This was your secret to keep. You didn’t want to come off as overly dramatic as your mother had previously accused you of doing. So you deleted the message and moved on, it wasn’t like it was a note at your door.

When you got back to the apartment you made your way to your room without a word, stumbling down the hall. You didn’t want to cry, not for this. You wanted to sleep and hoped that this night would become a hazy memory, bound to your drunkenness like a secret.

You stared at the bathroom mirror hoping that at the very least you could harness this feeling into capital. The thought made your palms clench and chest tight, you felt like you were suffocating. It sent you into a spiral you hadn’t felt in a long time, the fear of failing, not being good enough overwhelming you. This album was eating you alive and all around you you were surrounded by rejection, from Joel, from your mother, from your label; every direction pulled your head below the water in a new way.

You hadn’t had a panic attack in years. You reached in the cabinet for your meds, you hadn’t needed them in so long, but as the tension in your chest began to build you felt yourself slowly losing control.

Gripping the counter you let this feeling fester until it slowly passed. All you were left with was the fading buzz of the drinks in your system becoming a sleepy haze you were sure to regret in the morning.

The next morning, the night before wasn’t brought up. It was almost unnerving how cold Joel was toward you but somehow he came off as indifferent. You knew any trust or relationship you had built was officially gone. Nothing left but ruins in your wake.

By noon, he was gone and his relief Will Jones had arrived. Will was an older gentleman who clearly kept up with himself over the years. He was warmer than Joel and would make conversation the same way you’d make it with your dad. You knew you’d get along fine, but he also wasn’t Joel.

You weren’t too keen on conversation, somewhere between the dull ache in your chest and your hangover you’d forgotten

your kindness. So Jones gave you your space and you worked on your music.

And that’s how it went… for three weeks you’d rotate between Joel and Will. Not saying much to either of them. Wake up, go to the studio, get nothing done, go out and forget your frustrations, and repeat. Three weeks of failure in the day forgotten with a bender in the night.

Texts would come through, always from a different number. Always along the lines of missing you and loving you, never threatening you. You never thought much of them and always kept them to yourself deleting them soon after they came in.

You were falling apart and didn’t think anyone was going to notice. No one ever had before and there wasn’t anyone close enough to you to care.

You felt stuck creatively, nothing you were making was impressing producers enough. You felt stuck personally, forever between a rock and a hard place. Your mother berating you for coming up with nothing, receiving a cold shoulder from Joel who you had only grown more fond of, feeling so isolated and alone even though this is what you’ve always dreamed of. You should be grateful for everything you have, but it came at the expense of your soul.

It had been a particularly bad night for you, Will was with you tonight and you had gotten particularly clobbered. It was messy and no one was brave enough to stop you. You felt the eyes and phones on you and it was the moment you knew this was going to be a mess your team would have to clean up. Your carefully curated image of a humble small town artist was being thrown out the window. Just one night where the eyes at the bar looked a little too closely, they found out a little too much about you. It would all come crashing down in just a few short hours.

“Get me out of here,” You said to Will, pulling on his sleeve like a toddler.

“Let’s go,” He quickly shuffled you out of the bar and to a car that was waiting outside.

The paparazzi were insane this time around and you had never felt so scared. The word must’ve already been out where you were and everyone wanted the shot that would destroy your image. It was worth so much more than a photo of you leaving the studio, or on a pre planned date with another emerging artist.

The flashes made you nauseous and the banging on the windows and shouting from outside the vehicle had installed a new type of fear and anxiety within you. You clenched your fists and loved your eyes solely focusing on your breathing and heart rate. It was hard to focus in with all the noise around you and you knew that if their cameras got the shot it was going to be messy but you had to calm down.

Eventually your car had made it through the mob of people and back to your apartment. You needed to collapse in bed, just sleep and forget everything. As soon as you came through the door you made your way to bed, fully clothed, make-up on, and began scrolling through twitter. Of course there were photos of you from tonight that had begun circling. TMZ was already spinning a story about how you had flown off the handle, with a full segment to come in the morning. Daily Mail had jumped on an article too in the forty minutes it took you to get home.

Just like that it had all come crashing down so fast. Maybe it was the attention you had wanted, maybe not. Something about having your image fall apart and the world watching you come undone was cathartic and yet you didn’t feel any better. You knew you were making a mess for someone else to clean up. You were still buzzed beyond your capacity to form a coherent thought about the repercussions you would face. You knew what was to come and yet, in your state, couldn’t bring yourself to care. So in the most pathetic attempt to make the pain go away, you fell asleep.

Someone had woken you up the next morning, it didn’t feel like you had slept for very long. It could also be that you had slept a long time, you were just hungover. You rubbed your eyes which had felt extremely dry, and when you looked at your hands the black smears of mascara reminded you of the night before. You had fallen asleep without even making an attempt at getting ready for bed. You had never felt so disgusting, you’re sure you were a pitiful sight.

“What time is it?” You croaked.

“It’s nine in the morning.” A voice you hadn’t expected said.

“Mom?” You questioned fully opening your eyes and looking at where the voice had come from.

There she was in the flesh. She looked as if she had just walked off the page of a magazine, not a single piece out of place.

“What are you doing here?” You sat up and questioned. Your head was pounding and you struggled to put the pieces of why she would show up unannounced together.

“I flew out as soon as I saw what was going on on twitter,” She started, “And I’m glad I did. This was the first thing I saw when I landed this morning.”

She stood and stalked toward you dropping a tabloid paper on the end of your bed.

There you were in all your drunken glory, right on the front page, trying to escape the bar the night before. You flip to the article which basically called you out for cracking under the pressure of fame. Maybe they were right, you had reached your tipping point of rejection.

You couldn’t stop what came next, but everything just came crashing down. And as if you were a kid again your mom came to your side and wrapped herself around you.

She whispered that it would be okay, and how proud she was of you and for a moment you believed her. It didn’t matter what her motives were, whether or not she just wanted you back in the studio. It was nice to feel like someone cared, you’d been so surrounded by ghosts who didn’t give a shit about you to sit and be held and be told your love was enough to forgive her all over again. These were the tender moments you clung to for dear life. Without them there would be no one left to care about you, and you would fade away.

“Come on, let’s get you ready to go,” she said when you had started to calm down.

There it was, she wanted you back into the studio to capitalize on this. For the moment you could forget about that though, because at least she was here, at least she cared.

Within the hour you had made it to the studio and started tweaking some of the songs you had worked on before. Your mom had made herself brief and was on the next flight back to New York. Her work was done and you had been put on a strict studio to home lockdown by your team. It was for the best.

The morning in the studio had been weird, Will and Joel were supposed to switch off today and as the day grew later you wondered if Joel had finally thrown in the towel. Just as your mind got away from you he came in flustered with a kid in tow.

“Thanks for covering for me man,” He said to Will.

He turned to you and looked apologetic, “Is it okay if Ellie sticks around today? She got into trouble at school and my brother was already at work, no one was available to watch the kid this short notice?”

“Oh yeah, of course!” You smiled and said a little too cheer-y.

Joel looked at you for a second longer than comfortable and his eyes grew softer. He was reading you like a book. You’re sure you didn’t look great but no one had made a note of how miserable you looked.

“Thanks,” he stepped toward you.

“You alright?” He spoke softly, looking directly at you.

You melted away at his concern, you felt like you were the only person in the world. His features grew soft just for you and all the feelings you tried so hard to get rid of had pushed their way to the surface again.

“Yeah, I will be,” And just for a second you believed it.

Your focus came back to the room and the young girl shifted behind Joel.

“Hi! Ellie, so nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!” you stood and made your way to her.

Ellie then smiled so big and beamed your way. You pulled her into a hug and she reciprocated. When you pulled away you could tell she was just buzzing.

“I’m such a huge fan,” She said.

“So I’ve heard. I hear you’re also quite the guitar player?” You looked at Joel who was smiling fondly at the interaction between the two of you.

“I’m alright,” She said shyly.

“Well, I have a song I need some help with so let’s see what you’ve got?”

You and Ellie took a seat on the couch, you were excited to introduce someone to this world. You always felt like the one who knew the least but you could see the light and excitement in her eyes.

“So I usually try to tell a story, pull from hardships in my life,” you explained.

“Oh,” Ellie said and shifted a bit uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to though? Is there anything you feel you want to get out in the world?” You asked.

“Well,” Ellie hesitated, “I guess there is one thing, that’s kinda bugging me.”

“Okay?” you pressed.

“See, there’s this, uh, girl. She isn’t out yet but we were together for a bit.. and uh, well she ended things but I still have feelings for her.” Ellie’s demeanor changed and became disheartened.

“Wait, I actually think I have something you might be able to help me finish,” you said frantically digging in your bag for your notebook.

And that’s how it started. You and Ellie spent the day writing a melancholy love song together. Little did she know the piece you had written was for her father.

The song spoke of the one person who could derail your whole life if they wanted and you had so much fun writing and recording with Ellie. She even helped with the harmonies and the production. It was a great song and throughout the whole process you and Joel shared knowing looks with one another. For a moment there was a sense of understanding and forgiveness between you.

You wanted to grip onto this moment and never let it go. Forget all the scandal, the fear, the things that got you into this position and just hold onto the feeling of understanding between you, Ellie and Joel.

All good things must come to an end though, as Ellie left with her uncle so did the warmth that Joel carried. You felt as if you were back at square one and there was nothing you could do about it.

The drive home was quiet and uncomfortable as it had been the night he turned you down, but you couldn’t figure out why.

When you returned to the apartment it was so quiet. You and Joel hadn’t spoken much in the last three weeks but this silence was deafening. There was so much you both wanted to say but neither of you could find the words.

“Goodnight, Joel,” You said quietly, getting ready to take your leave.

“Y’know I saw the pictures from last night?” He said and you were taken aback.

“I’m sorry?” You tensed, not needing a reminder of your downfall.

“I saw them all, you dancing with those random guys. Shit faced beyond yourself. I couldn’t help but blame myself,” He looked at his feet.

“Joel it’s not your-“

“I lied to you,” he cut you off.

“Oh?”

“Three weeks ago, I lied to you and told you I didn’t feel anything. I don’t know if you were being truthful or if you were just drunk, but I felt that connection too.” He admitted.

You were left speechless.

“I lied because I have a job to do, and I have to keep you safe. I couldn’t risk that for what I thought was just a fleeting moment of attraction. Seeing you last night though? That nearly killed me. I wanted to rip their damn heads off, the men, the paps, all of them.”

He sighed and continued, “I care about you, I care about the way you feel. I want to know you, I want you to care about me and that’s fucking terrifying.”

“Joel,” you said barely above a whisper, not sure what to believe.

You hadn’t realized it but he had made his way to you, and once you noticed his presence was suffocating.

“I want to keep you safe. After seeing you with Ellie today I don’t want to wonder what could have been. I need to know.” He looked right at you, moving a piece of hair away from your face. Gently cupping your cheek.

“Joel, I’m a mess.” You turned away from him. “The whole reason you’re here is fucked up, and I clearly am not one to handle things well. I’m so fucking scared and I-“

Before you could continue his lips found yours and you were pulled into an all encapsulating kiss. The way his lips moved against yours was like a man starved. It was delicate but desperate all the same. You sighed against him and he wrapped his hand around your waist gripping you close. It said everything you couldn’t say to one another. Nothing had ever felt more right and for the first time in so long you had felt safe, like everything was going to be ok.

When you finally pulled apart his hand lingered on your waist and you knew there would be so much to discuss in the days to come. Now was not the time though, the what ifs, and logistics could come later. For now you were wrapped in the bliss of the truth, the safety of your apartment, and the idea that this moment was just for you.

“Goodnight, Joel,” you smiled, and kissed him on the cheek.

“Goodnight, darlin’,” he said and released his hands from your waist.

You were on cloud nine as you got ready for bed, tired from the emotions of the day and still nursing a wicked hangover.

Just as you were getting ready for bed another text from an unknown number came through. Your heart stopped and elation came crashing down.

How could you?

tags: @pedgeitopascal @morning-star-joy @canseethebrushstrokes @skysmiller @contemplatingchemtrails @kyloispunk @skythighs @reader-without-a-story @aryastark-baratheon @thetriumphantpanda @ilovepedro @beskarandblasters @joelsversion once again i am horrid at tag lists but happy to make an attempt at adding u <3

#joel miller x you #joel miller au #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller fic #tlou fic #joel miller

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eatheangel · 5 months ago

Text

Surprise Interview With Former Member Of Girl Group IN BLISS Xiù Mingyue!

“…And we’re back! Thank you for sitting down with me today,” the interviewer inclines her head at the woman before her, all smiles as the two turn to address the camera. “As you know, I’m Choi Siyo, and on today’s segment we have a really special guest. If you would be so kind and introduce yourself…”

“Xiù Mingyue.” The noirette offers a dazzling smile of her own, complete with a cute wave before turning back to Siyo. “I used to be in INBLISS as its lead dancer and vocalist.”

“And visual.”

“Yes, and visual,” Mingyue laughs, leading the in-studio audience to cheer. “Thank you for having me!”

“I’m honestly surprised you even agreed,” Siyo regards her with an exaggerated expression, leaning forward slightly with interest. “I’m sure everyone wants to know what’s been going on since you and Rani left Flowerbank before the disbandment rumors even started.”

Mingyue looks contemplative, looking off to the side for a moment. “No one was happy,” she states rather bluntly. “There were talks of an EP in the works, and then maybe a mini album. But we all know how that went.”

The audience laughs as Mingyue rolls her eyes and smiles. In a similar fashion, Siyo reaches over to pat her hand in sympathy, which makes her giggle.

“It was just weird. Nobody was doing anything. We’d released Mise-en-scène, which was supposed to be the set up for the EP I mentioned earlier. The concept was something I was really interested and invested in. We had photoshoots with really cool sets. Sad no one is going to be able to see that.”

She shrugs as the audience clamors at the information, shaking her head in faux sadness.

“Do you know why Rani left?” Siyo asks, which makes Mingyu snort before she quickly covers her mouth with a laugh. Siyo immediately leaps for the opening, pressing further, “You do know!”

“She left because it honestly sucks.” Siyo covers her mouth in shock. “Her words, not mine! I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t made an appearance since then. Even Hyejin did, and she had the most humanity out of all of us.”

“I saw clips of her livestream,” Siyo’s expression turns sorrowful, “she even cried, poor girl.”

“I feel sympathy for her, but there are other companies out there. She’ll be fine. That’s life.” Mingyue states matter-of-factly.

“But back to Rani. We left the company together, as you all know, because I think we both realized that EP or mini album or whatever was never happening. Flowerbank is crumbling. Have you seen the news recently?”

Siyo looks intrigued, as is the audience. The set is pin-drop silent when Mingyue pauses for breath, making her look around. She then jokes, “Alright, is this place bugged or what.”

“Don’t be silly! Anyway,” Siyo waves her off, “we’ve accounted for three members. You, Rani, Hyejin. What about the other two?”

A series of emotions flit over Mingyue’s face. It takes her a bit of time to answer the question.

“Lou just disappeared,” she sighs, her lips pursed. “No one knows where she is. Not even Dispatch can find her. They’re getting lazy.”

The joke falls flat with her tone, something that Siyo seems to catch onto. Surprisingly, for once in her career, she doesn’t press. “That’s four,” she muses, “the fifth?”

“What about her?”

Mingyue’s tone instantly sweetens, her stare boring right into Siyo’s. It makes the emcee raise her brows, interest budding in her sudden switch.

“Have you heard from the fifth?” She asks again, and Mingyue presses her lips into a thin smile. “I believe she was in the news once or twice before the official announcement of disba—”

“Can we talk about something else?” The sugar in her tone twangs with underlying emotion, making the older woman smile in response.

“Sure.” Siyo claps her hands, folding them before placing them on the table. “What are your plans after leaving Flowerbank?”

“Hopefully debuting again.” The audience’s cheers instantly brighten the atmosphere, making Mingyue laugh in surprise. “It’s nice to know they’ll still be people supporting me.”

“Can you talk about your time with Flowebank and INBLISS?”

“It was rocky. We obviously debuted with that bullying mess with that She-Demon,” Mingyue waves her hand in a flippant manner much to her audience’s amusement. “But we had support. We had fun, won awards, did that sort of thing.”

Silence hangs for a moment before she continues.

“If we had been closer, I probably could have called them my sisters.” The admission is soft spoken, seemingly to the surprise of the woman who uttered those very words. “We honestly didn’t spend enough time together as a group.”

“And now you’ve splintered off too early.” Mingyue smiles as Siyo’s tone turns soft with sympathy.

“We’ve all gone on our own paths,” the noirette agrees, nodding slowly. “I wish them all the best in all of their endeavors.”

“Its so nice of you to support another rumored solo debut!”

Mingyue’s smile slips from her lips instantly.

Siyo continues without a pause. “I’m sure you’ve heard, yes? One of your fellow group mates is also rumored to be going solo. Surely you’ve heard!”

“I’m not sure what that has to do with me.”

“But you just said you’d give support. Are we to assume that your words don’t mean anything?”

Siyo’s smile turns sharp under Mingyue’s gaze. It takes a moment for the idol to compose herself minutely.

“No, of course my words have weight. I publicly support all the girls. I’m just not sure what you gain from asking me about a debut that doesn’t pertain to me.”

Siyo just nods, reaching over to take her hands in her own. “My mistake, I overstepped. I just wanted to let the audience know that there were rumors of an ex-girl group member from your company going solo. No hard feelings, hm?”

Mingyue just smiles. “No hard feelings.”

“I mean. The company is no stranger to favoritism, right? And all the artists moving to other companies… it’s a terrible time, isn’t it? To not be chosen.”

Siyo’s tone is still sympathetic, but the words cut deeper than shown on camera. Mingyue’s hands slowly slip from the host’s.

“Well there’s a difference between suddenly being chosen and already having one foot in the door, isn’t there?”

Siyo's smile widens significantly.

#﹙ ⟡ ׅ 𝐕𝕭 ─ news. ﹚#﹙ ⟡ ׅ 𝐕𝕭 ─ connections. ﹚#﹙ ⟡ ׅ 𝐕𝕭 ─ articles. ﹚#﹙ ⟡ ׅ 𝐕𝕭 ─ development. ﹚#fake kpop idol #fake kpop soloist #fictional kpop idol #fictional kpop community #fictional kpop soloist #fictional kpop

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jacktorjoseph · 1 year ago

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Set-Up: 🔅In the land of sunny El Paso, It is a beautiful 100 degree weather day and the studio is DEFINITELY feeling it. Fans are running on max, all the ice in the water coolers have melted, and no matter how many times the producer sticks his head into his mini fridge, there’s no sign of relief anywhere. I guess it’s the price you pay being the new show on the block! Repairs and renovations must be reserved only for the cash cows of the company, hence why being forced to shoot in a studio lot last updated in the 30’s was no surprise at all. No need to install A/C if the building can’t support it structurally, the finance department would say! Luckily for you though, being the lead of a children’s television program had some perks. One of the crew members was able to find a lone, oscillating fan to sit in front of your folding chair, but it didn’t do much except blow more hot air around. The production team promised official actor chairs with their names embroidered on the back once the Sunny Time Crew Show took off, but for now, you had to settle for the static clinging variation found at small events and birthday parties. You are reading through the latest episode’s script, noticing a few changes made last minute by the writing staff that made your brow lift. There were characters you’ve never briefed on before. The Sun and the Moon? How’d that work? Sure, they were early in the production process and have only aired the pilot so far, but you’d think you would’ve at least met the person by now. You hear a number of hurried footsteps echo off the vinyl flooring.🔆

*My heels clack loudly against floor as I scour the premises for any sign of life or people. I had already met so many dead ends that there was a part of me that refused to believe this studio is actually shooting anything at all. It didn’t help when the people I did run across didn’t even glance in my direction as they scurried off. Finally reaching an entrance much larger than any of the small offices I rushed by, I took it as a sign that I might be on track. A panicked look is plastered all over my features as I scan the area for anything that hints I’m going in the right direction.*

Oh god, I’m absolutely going to be late at this rate! I knew I should’ve came three hours early instead of two! Where in the world-

*That’s when I spot you flipping through your script in the distance. No one else was around and you didn’t seem like you were rushing to get anywhere, so maybe you’d help!*

OH! Excuse me! Sir!

*I lift an arm up, securing the black binder more tightly against my chest as I lightly jog over to you. My hand instinctively grabs my knee for support once I reach you. Taking a deep breath, I straighten myself up and tuck a long strand of dark brown hair behind my ear. My bangs cling to my forehead for dear life. With how old the building is, people would assume that I’m a ghost or someone who just walked off a princess set with how out of style my puffed sleeve dress is. The bow clipped behind my head becomes more crooked and a relieved smile graces my face*

Oh thank goodness you’re here! You’d not believe the day I was having! I swear I thought I had the plague or something with how much I got snubbed today.

*I let out a breathy laugh, my free hand emphasizing my emotions. I bring my arm back to meet the other along my binder and squeeze it tighter against my chest.*

I’m sorry for interrupting what you’re doing, but my agent set up a vocal audition for me for the…Sunny Time Crew Show? I think that’s what it’s called?

*My brows furrow in thought before I wave a hand dismissively.*

I don’t even know! My agent says it’s the beauty of last minute auditions, but not being able to study up makes me feel more anxious than anything! Anyways, I was hoping you’d know where they’d be at. I’m not really used to being on a film lot since musical theatre productions is more of my thing, but I didn’t think that they were THIS big. Memorizing directions is not my specialty as you can tell.

(OOC-Hi! I’m sorry this is so long, I just wanted to set up the scene! I love how you portray Joesph and I hope I can RP with you!)

-🧜🏻‍♀️

OOC// okay, to start this off, I legit was trying to think of shit all day for this, but got busy with work (ask my s/o they offered help when I saw the absolute NOVEL you had written /positive ) however, it's time for my brain to go back to 2012-2014 (my peak roleplay years)

Joseph looked over at you, his white tank-top both slightly see-through and stained from his own sweat, soon fanning himself with his script.

well, you came to...I guess the right place. Though, it feels more like hell right now. No damn clue why the idiots higher up decided the new show would get the worst building in the area.

He stands up and stretches a bit, if you looked over you'd notice his jeans sitting on his chair, the man in a pair of fitted shorts instead.

If I knew it'd be this hot I wouldn't have even bothered to come nicely dressed.

He offers his free hand to you, it obviously very sweaty.

I'm Joseph, I guess I'll be the main part in this children's show. But, I'll warn ya, some of these actors? Serían mejores para los espectáculos nocturnos, if you get my drift. (translation: they'd be better for the late night shows,)

He gives a very half-caring smile.

What position are you here for? So far, I know about....3, 2? other actors, and none of which have given anyone any hospitality other than the manager and director.

#sunny day jack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sdj joseph #sunnydayjack #swwsdj #joseph cullman #sdj jacktor #jacktor #joseph haberdae #roleplay account #ooc

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sharkys-disco-stick · 1 year ago

Text

Posted this on Twitter yesterday before early access opened up, but I’m gonna post it here too, with a few changes. It’s a novel, so bear with me here:

(Not tagging this as spoilers, because I don’t talk about specific characters or plot points)

A lot of people have now had the chance to play the campaign through early access, myself included. Many of us aren’t happy with how the story of Modern Warfare III turned out, or how certain characters were handled.

Your feelings are totally valid and ok. They’re normal. Find comfort with other fans to help you through it.

I know how you all feel. I was a Game of Thrones fan. I invested almost ten years of my life into watching a show before the last season came along and basically shot everything into oblivion. It essentially disappeared from the pop culture radar and was never talked about again (until House of the Dragon came along). I was pissed off, I was upset. I felt like all of my favorite characters got royally screwed and got endings that didn’t make sense. I wasn’t mad that the story didn’t end the way I necessarily wanted to, but because of the backassward way the writers took to get it there. And that’s another Pandora’s jar altogether. I can’t even rewatch the show in its’ entirety; I just look up clips on YouTube. And listen to Ramin Djawadi’s scores constantly, because that shit is still 👌🔥

I say all of that, to say this:

However upset you might be,

-Please don't harass the actors. They’re just doing their jobs.

-Please, please don't harass the writers, however unhappy you might be with their decisions for writing things the way they did. Unless they come out directly and say it, we’re never going to know the full truth of why the story was written the way it was.

-And for the love of god DON’T harass the fans who might actually be satisfied with the game/story we got. All you’re going to do is drive good people away from the fandom and make it toxic. That means: less fic writers, less art creators, less gif/edit makers, etc.

-And while I’m at it, DON’T send death threats to the studio or ANYBODY else. I mean, come on guys. 🫣

We can deny canon all we want. We can write a million fix-it fics and make a miliion art pieces and edits. But some of y'all need to remember that there are REAL people involved in this project and they don't deserve the hatred that you want to fling at them.

I'll never deny the impact that our video games and characters have had on all of us. For many of us, we can say they've saved our lives.

But at the end of the day, it IS A GAME, and harassing REAL people over a work of fiction is never ok, and does nothing but make the fandom a toxic place to be.

Anyway, I've said my piece. My DMs are open if anyone wants to scream about the story with me.

Also:

#probably gonna regret posting this but #oh well lol #call of duty #cod #call of duty modern warfare iii #call of duty modern warfare 3 #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare ii

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 2 years ago

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"I think that lots of things that I thought were possible before that was posted, don’t seem possible now." This is really interesting to me, because I've been following you a while and I never really felt that I knew what you think was possible re Harry and gender?

From what I have seen and read, Harry has never expressed a nuanced interest in this topic more than "everybody should be kind to everybody, and that includes women". Even worse, there have been terrible, terrible takes last year. For me, the whole Pleasing nonsense is way worse than the Pilates stuff - is he seriously selling anti aging crap to teenagers??? And the way he talked about queer films? That still makes me so angry, to the point that I'd prefer not to have Harry speaking on politics, gender and social issues at all.

To me, the missing "there, there" is really important in this context, because I also think that he is closeted. 25 years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was absolutely okay with everybody thinking that my parents might be abusive rather than people knowing that I was getting love bites from another girl. Mindboggling now. I've always had a good relationship with my parents, knew even then that they would be fine with me being a lesbian and I didn't live in a conservative environment at all. Still the fear of being forced out of the closet made me oblivious to everything else around me, it paralyzed me and I had no space for thinking about collective social issues.

Obviously Harry's situation is very different, but I see myself (and a lot of my queer friends) in him waffling nonsense and making bad choices (subjectively 'bad' to me at least) from a frightening closet. When he talked about his panic about being perceived as "somebody who has sex" or "people seeing how he kisses", it was really painful to me, like him playing Tom was painful to me, too. I hope therapy goes well for him if he wants that.

Being a 'new, meterosexual' man, who is sexy but also detached, might be a kind of compromise for Harry. Which it obviously isn't, and that is why people are missing the 'there, there' at a closer look. It is lacking authenticity, which I've seen mentioned in the media for the first time this year. My guess is that Harry and his team are aware of it and playing for time (3-5 more fat years?) but what do I know...

Of course nobody is forcing him to endorse the Pilates studio, but maybe it's something like "Harry, we'll give a short clip to the pilates study so you can have a three week holiday with your partner safely, is that alright?". 18 year old me would have said yes and not asked more questions, I'd just been happy to have three weeks without fearing to be dragged out of the closet. Might sound dramatic, but to me Harry's anxiety is palpable a lot of the time in the way he treats his body and, more lately, the things he says (which, again, might be wrong and 100% projection on my part).

Making his choices under circumstances he doesn't choose from when he was 16 years old is a lot. Maintaining a closet is a lot, even if you're not a popstar with millions of eyes on you, hundreds of peoples' livelyhood depending on you, and a partner who is in a similar but also very different position. It's a lot and I feel for Harry.

Sorry for this novel, I just love to read your thoughts and am checking obsessively if you reply to my anons. Lately I've saved them so that I might re-read my own thoughts later, like a diary. Strange but I guess there are stranger things on the internet ; )

Thanks for your thoughts anon - it's so awesome to hear that asking anons helps you process stuff. I'm going to respond to a couple of different things in here, but if there's something that you're super interested in that I miss.

That's a great starting point - what did I used to think was possible when it comes to Harry and gender. To focus a little bit on the politics of it - so his response to gender in society - not just as it relates to him - I think there are a wide variety of options. To give one example - he could have a visceral aversion to statements that 'men are like this and women are like this'. He could also have a political understanding that statements that men are one way and women are another are quite harmful. I think it's unlikely that he would go even further and feeling like it's important that he's part of changing that, but I wouldn't have said it's impossible. He also could not really have any thoughts about it all - when he sees a sentence like 'It's not just for girls, it separates the men from the boys' - he could just think 'that sounds reasonable'

Obviously now I think the possibilities cluster much more strongly around 'that sounds reasonable', but before the interview any of those could have been true.

*******

I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences and the way that they have shaped you. I'm so glad to hear that things are better from you and you have a good relationship with your parents. I hope you are kind to your younger self - her anxiety was a reasonable response to the world she

I totally agree that Harry's anxiety is palpable in a lot of what he does and how he interacts with the world. I think the 'people will know how I kiss' comment is an excellent example as are much of the other things you mention.

But in this case, I think understanding this through the lens of the closet doesn't bring any insight. In particular, in the way that you frame it - as if someone is giving this clip so that he can have time with his partner - there's absolutely no reason to believe that's true. Harry can have three week holidays with his partner without anyone knowing (wealth buys you that). The idea that this video would be seen to directly matter by Harry, or anyone working for him, doesn't make any sense with how we've seen him navigating the closet

That doesn't mean that there's not some connection. Anxiety works in mysterious ways and there could be all sorts of things going on for Harry. But I think imagining a straight forward 'he's doing this because he's anxious that otherwise he'll be outed' - is an over simplification that probably reveals more about your anxiety than Harry's.

********

I do agree that Harry's closet is central to the question of 'is there a there there'. I remember listening to the Harry episode of Popcast - and it felt like they were dancing around the possibility of him being closeted - but I don't think they were - I think they were just describing the gaps they saw.

But I think it's easy for fans to assume that the feeling that there's no there there is entirely caused by the closet. I think it's far more complicated than that - because I think it's also something about Harry that enables him to be such a successful blank space - and that wouldn't suddenly change when he was out.

In particular, I don't think the fact that we're both 'no Harry, speak less about politics' would necessarily change just because he was out (there are plenty of out queer musicians who have said cringe things now and in the past). I think he'd probably be a little more articulate if he wasn't so afraid, but only a little. I think the way that he's unwilling to be clear about whether he's talking about himself or the world is shaped by the closet, but that doesn't mean that he would disappear. I think he could build up a centre, if he came out, but I don't think it's inevitable that he would.

**********

I've been really frustrated by the silence in response to that statement and that's led to me responding with the boldest, brashest version of what I think.

So here's another way of expressing the same idea. What if Harry did support the message of that video? What if it did reflect part of his worldview?

There are other explanations - but the fact that he agreed with something that he put his image to is always going to be the most likely one. And I think it's worth Harry's fans, particularly those who argue about what he's really like or talk as if they know what he's like, sitting with that possibility. And either including that view in what Harry might be like, or accepting that what they're talking about is not what Harry is like, but who they want him to be.

#I should probably have led my whole discussion #by asking that question #what would it mean #if that ad #that Harry gave his image #was reasonably close to how he saw the world?#But it often takes a while #to understand exactly what you mean

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nagtritriplang · 2 years ago

Text

Together Let’s make History!

This work is dedicated to @nemo-studios

(posted this a long time in twitter)

The Senju and Uchiha are both the most successful and powerful families that consist of superheroes. Trained by the best of the best. The only problem is that the two families are rivals with each other. Though they have good intentions with their community, they still bicker with each other. Constantly fighting with who will get to the criminals first or compete on how many criminals have they caught. And this has been going on since the first generation until now.

Tsunade Senju, the granddaughter of the head of the Senjus’. She adopted Sakura Haruno. A very gifted child born to her powerless parents. Sakura had the same abilities as Tsunade, that's why Tsunade was interested in training her. But like any other Senju, she too was told about how the Uchihas’ are the rivals of her new family, that was until she met the youngest heir of the Uchiha.

Uchiha Sasuke, the youngest heir and one of the most skillful Uchiha. He was just like any other Uchiha. Dark haired, pale skin, and the same set of Sharingan. Sasuke was trained by Itachi, Shisui, and Obito Uchiha, his older brother and cousins. He’s also the favorite of Madara Uchiha, said to be the most powerful Uchiha out there.

The two families were invited to an award show. An award for the best superheroes. The Uchihas’ and Senjus’ were ecstatic to find out how many awards their family will receive.

“Cheer up, Sasuke. I’m sure you’ll get an award!” Shisui cheered. Sasuke wasn’t the type to join such parties but since his whole family will come, he is required to attend as well.

“Yeah, sasu. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a date too.” Sasuke rolled his eyes at the opinions his cousins shared while they were inside a car.

The Uchihas’ entered the venue wearing formal attire and even if they all looked the same, they all stood out in their own ways.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to join, Tsunade-sama?” Sakura asked. She was wearing a beautiful red gown that complimented her body. Her hair was let down and was designed with a clip.

“Yes, sakura. I’m sure you’ll get many awards too. You’re part of this family now that’s why you’ll need to attend everything with us. And if you’re nervous, I’ll be there with you okay?” Tsunade comforted Sakura as if she was her daughter.

“Okay.” Tsunade placed her arm on her shoulder as they waited for them to arrive.

The Senjus’ arrived just a few minutes after the Uchihas’ did. They entered proudly and sat at their designated tables. The head of both families and their immediate relatives sat together.

Sakura awkwardly sat next to Tsunade with Sasuke next to her. She didn’t know what to do or say so she held her purse hoping someone would say something.

“So you made it. Will you still go on with your plan?” Madara asked Hashirama.

“Yes.”

“Wait what plan?” Tsunade asked.

“Oh so you haven’t told them anything yet?” Madara chuckled.

“If I did, they wouldn’t agree. I’m sure you didn’t tell anyone yet of anything?” Hashirama laughed at the Uchihas’ confused face.

“The award show is about to start, let’s talk about it later.” The host came to the stage welcoming their guest and they had a few speeches before the awarding.

“The Superhero of the Year goes to… UCHIHA ITACHI!” They clapped their hands while itachi walked smiling.

Sakura leaned into Sasuke’s shoulder and whispered “congratulations.” Sasuke hummed in return as a thank you.

“Healer of the year goes to… HARUNO SAKURA!” Sakura was genuinely shocked because she was sure it would be Tsunade or Shizune who would win the award.

“Go up on stage, Sakura!” She stood up and left her bag.

“Sasuke, why don’t you escort ms, Sakura to the stage.” Madara suggested. Sasuke nodded and offered his arm for her.

Sakura blushed at him but put her arm around his arm anyway. They walked together to the stage, shocking the whole crowd. A member of the Senju with an Uchiha. A sight they never thought, they’ll see. Sasuke helped her up to the stairs before waiting for her to finish so he could escort her back. Talk about being a gentleman right?

“Um, I wasn’t expecting to win an award like this, but Thank you to everyone and I shall do my best to improve my skills to save more people. Thank you again!” Sakura bowed before going down with the help of Sasuke.

“Thank you for escorting me, Sasuke-san. I really appreciate you doing that.” Sakura said while walking.

“It’s no big deal, Sakura. And please drop the “san”. Congratulations by the way. You deserved it.” Sasuke knew about Sakura. One of the best healers, if not one of the best, she’ll be considered the best soon.

“Thank you for escorting Sakura, Sasuke.” Hashirama says and Sasuke gives a nod in return.

“You two looked great with each other. I bet you’ll be trending on social media everywhere. So, Hashirama-san, if you're planning what I think you’re planning, it’ll have a big impact with these two.“ Shisui snickered.

“I agree. These two seem to be very compatible with each other. I’m sure once we go through what you're planning, we can partner these two up.” Madara agrees. What could they be planning?

“The next award, for the most skillful new hero goes to… UCHIHA SASUKE!” Sasuke stood up proudly and went on stage to claim his trophy. He delivered a short thank you and promised to do his best before going back to their table.

“Congratulations cous! I knew you had it in you!” Obito patted Sasuke’s head while everyone said their congratulations.

“Congratulations, Sasuke-kun. You deserved it!” Sakura said with a smile and surprisingly this made him smile at her as well.

Hashirama and Madara both won for best leader of a very successful family full of heroes.

“I’d like to announce some very very important news.” Hashirama started. “Me and Madara have decided to have a treaty, a promise. That our families' will no longer rival each other, instead, help each other to keep everyone safe.” This shocked the whole audience and the Senjus’ and Uchihas’ looked at each other then at their leaders who were smiling and shaking hands.

“A treaty huh?”

“Never expected that from those two.”

“This is a start I guess.”

“After years of rivalry, they finally start a friendship.”

“I can’t believe grandpa agreed to that.” Sasuke whispers.

“I can’t believe Hashirama-sama thought of this. The last time I checked they were too competitive and stubborn to become friends with each other.” Sakura laughed.

One conversation turned into two until they were very comfortable with each other. They shared the same interests and dislikes, I guess that’s why their conversation took a long time. It was as if they were the only people there. It did wonders to their hearts until Madara spoke up.

It was time to enjoy and greet other people. Others danced while others ate and drank together. Sasuke and Sakura stayed on the table though, both not wanting to speak with somebody else.

“Sasuke, why don’t you and Sakura dance? Our families are partners now and me and Hashirama already plan to pair you both up. We believe that you two will make a great pair.” Sasuke and Sakura were already comfortable with each other. It was as if they both knew each other since childhood.

“May I have this dance?” Sasuke offered his hand to her giving a soft smile and sakura gladly took it.

They danced with grace, catching the attention of everyone. An Uchiha dancing with a member of the Senju, while smiling. It was one heck of a sight.

“They’re all looking, aren’t they?” Sakura whispers.

“Of course they are. Let them. Let’s enjoy this night. Like grandfather said, we’ll be working together soon.” It was one of the most unforgettable nights the two had and will always be in their hearts. A night where they found someone who finally understands.

Just as promised, Sakura and Sasuke were paired on a mission. To save people from an enemy. They are the perfect duo, one that fights and one that heals. Maybe that’s why Madara and Hashirama chose them to be partners. They had great teamwork, were comfortable with each other, and really strong.

Sakura was trained by Tsunade herself, she inherited Tsunade’s strength and healing abilities. Sasuke was trained to use his Sharingan skillfully and could use lightning as well. The Uchihas’ weren’t the only ones who trained him, Kakashi also helped.

“Sasuke, Sakura. You two are ordered to go to Suna to help the people and save Gaara there. They are hostaged by Sasori and Deidara. I expect you both to fix these problems and save the people. I will send people to help you evacuate but I want you to focus on Sasori and Deidara. Do you understand?”

“Yes!”

“Good, you will leave tomorrow. You’re both dismissed.” Sasuke and Sakura walked out to go to their own room to prepare before going to the dinner table together.

“I heard about Sasori a long time ago. A puppeteer and he created the most powerful poison. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make an antidote for it.” Sakura says in a worried voice.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to make the antidote quickly. You’re skilled Sakura. He chose the wrong medic to mess with.” Sasuke puts his arm on her shoulder as they walk together.

“Thanks, I hope you’re right. You did your research with deidara right?” Sakura asks.

“Yes. Explosions are his specialty. I’m sure I can deal with him, and if ever I get injured, I’ll have you to heal me.” Was he flirting with her just now? Whatever he’s trying to do, it’s working.

The next day, they set out. They were joined by Naruto Uzumaki, Sai, Ino yamanaka, Shikamaru, Great friends of Sakura. Karin Uzumaki, Suigetsu, and Jugo, people familiar to Sasuke.

“Forehead! I haven’t seen you in a long time! I can’t believe we get to go on a mission again! Oh I missed you!” Ino and Sakura haven't seen each other in a very long time due to them being busy.

“I missed you too pig! So… How are you and the artist over there?” Sakura raised her eyebrow at her best friend in a questioning way.

“Let’s just say we’re dating.” Ino answered blushing but quickly brushed it off and questioned Sakura instead.

“So you and Uchiha huh?” Ino knew she won because of how Sakura’s face heated up.

“No, what are you talking about pig! We’re just partners!” Ino continued to tease Sakura about Sasuke while he watched her with a smug smirk.

“So you’re into pinky huh?” Sasuke was surprised with Suigetsu and almost choked him.

“Can’t blame him though, pinky’s a beauty.” Karin added nudging.

“Cut it out Karin. You know she doesn’t like girls that way.” Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

“You’re such a killjoy you’re just scared I’ll take her away from you but you don’t have to worry, I got my eyes on another lady.” Karin said winking.

“Okay kids, who’s ready for the field trip!” Shisui came out of the blue.

“You’re coming too?” Sasuke asked, annoyed.

“Well yes of course my cute little cousin. Who’ll save your butt from those exploding maniacs huh? Anyways, thank you for agreeing to team up with us. We really appreciate your presence here. Now then, everybody inside and let’s save Gaara’s sandy but handsome face from those lunatics!” He said that as if they were tourists who've never been to Suna.

Sasuke and Sakura sat next to each other as per usual. They discussed the plan and all decided that they’ll celebrate after this.

“Oh, I bet Suna will thank us with a statue made out of sand for saving their Kazekage.” Shisui started to fantasize about the citizens of Suna throwing flowers on his statue but was brought back to reality when he was hit in the back of his head by Obito.

“Shut up, shui! No one wants to see your ugly face in the middle of the road. It’ll cause traffic.” They started to laugh and argue so Sakura took this chance to go to a private place in the plane. Sasuke noticed she was gone so he caught up to her.

“Hey, you okay?” Sasuke asked and put his hands on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit worried. We’re talking about two members of the akatsuki. I don’t know if I can handle them. What if I fail? What if I get killed? What if YOU get killed?” Sakura started to panic. This happens to her a lot and Sasuke’s getting really worried about her.

“Hey, breath in, breath out. You’re going to be fine, Sakura. Trust yourself more. And you know I won’t let anything happen to you.” Sakura looked at his eyes and saw determination in his black orbs. It was as if she was falling into his spell and she didn't mind.

They say unlike charges attract and that’s what’s happening to them right now. She gives life, while he ends them. How ironic. Their faces start to get closer. They could feel each other’s breath wrapping around them as if it was a blanket. They continue to look into each other’s eyes not wanting to be the first to look away. Her mouth opened to say something but Sasuke was quick to close it. He placed his lips over hers. His eyes closed and judging from his expression it was as if he was eating the best food in the world and truly savoring it. A rush of electricity ran through her spine, she couldn't make up her mind if it was from the kiss or Sasuke. Sooner or later she closed her eyes and kissed back. He wanted to feel her more but was stopped when he heard a scream.

“Hey Sasuke do you know where- AHHHHHHHHH”

“GET OUT!!” Naruto ran outside to get out of the room.

#sssnippetaday #sasusaku #TLMH

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lcndonboysstuff · 8 months ago

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I was looking at their timeline and seems like they spent a fair amount of time apart during the SAN shooting. Taylor did visit him after Red release week but it was just for a couple of days which in retrospective is a bit weird. Specially because unless he flew commercial, they spent almost a full month apart after that. During which time she worked on Midnights. He only got back to stay after her birthday.

Also do you know if they did their christmas or new year's day trip in 2022 still? They stopped updating the timeline in 2022 so idk. And given that we have that little clip where things were a bit tense I wonder.

Then in january/february 2023 he seemed to stay in LA with her, which makes the whole Matty situation not really good. I mean you have her performing with her ex, I saw someone say that she was at the SNL performance with him too (he didn't know at the time until he then saw they were dating later on), his ex said they were in the studio together. All I wonder is where did Joe stand in the middle of this? Cause he was around right? So did he know and didn't care? Were the Grammys just something to keep up appearances? I wouldn't put it past her to use his jacket just so everyone knew he was there, when in reality they were totally not even acting like much of a couple anymore.

Like idk but it's bizarre to me being with an ex like that, while supposely you are still living with someone else. And you drag it out until April to break up, when you barely even have free time to do it properly.

i don’t think it was that weird? she had just released an album and even jack didn’t seem to stay in Panama for the full shoot. i think they went on holidays together right after he finished filming as well if i’m remembering correctly.

wasn’t joe allegedly at that 1975 performance too? fans say they saw him there. people making it out as if taylor was doing something wrong by performing at it has always been odd to me, as if she wasn’t in London to be with joe in the first place.

i honestly don’t know about a new years trip but i think they were in NY for the new year, joe was pictured with a fan in NY on the 2nd of January.

they were in the studio together with Jack Antonoff because he re familiarised them with each other and they were writing songs.

and about the Grammys joe himself posted a picture of himself at that party so her wearing his jacket doesn’t come across as a calculated move and was just that she simply got cold and wore her bf’s jacket

her hanging out with matty while she was with joe never bothered me, maybe i just don’t care enough. and yeah i don’t know why she only broke up with him in April i don’t think we’ll ever know the specifics of the break up.

PS i know a lot of you guys really hate taylor and it may seem like i’m over defending her in this post. but so many takes i see about taylor from joe fans make me roll me eyes so hard. it makes me want to defend her a little. like why am i seeing some people defend the racist predator John Mayer simply because they don’t like taylor. like can we all please be serious.

#anon

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fancoloredglasses · 1 year ago

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[RERUN] FLASH! AH-AHHHHHHHHH! (part 1)

When I started doing RERUNs of my older (”wall of text”) reviews, I knew I’d eventually run out of reviews that needed updating (NOTE: I did not start doing RERUNs due to running out of material. Granted, I’ve started doing reviews that are more modern than my childhood, but there’s a plethora of media I could review. In fact, if there’s something you think I should cover, please let me know!)

Flash Gordon is, I believe, the last of the reviews that need updating due to a lack of visuals. However, there are a bunch of reviews that have broken links and/or clips, so I may start going through my older posts to update the links. However, these will likely be less frequent.

Anyway, if you would like to read the original review, it’s available here.

youtube

(Thanks to Rotten Tomatoes)

[All images are owned by Universal Pictures and King Features Syndicate. Please don’t sue me]

Flash Gordon has a long history, dating back over 85 years in comics, animation, movie serials (back in the 30s and 40s, you often had a story told over several 15 minute films, thus ensuring moviegoers would return next week to see what happens next), television series, and of course feature films (in fact, all 3 serials from the 30s would each be consolidated into feature films for those fans who missed a week)

The version of Flash Gordon we’re looking at today is the feature film from 1980 starring Sam J. Jones and Max von Sydow. Among the supporting cast, you may recognize a few faces...

Playing Prince Vultan of the Hawkmen is Brian Blessed (and his legs that really should never be shown publicly...) Most Americans who don’t watch much British television may not recognize him, but most people who read this blog should have heard his voice.

(Thanks to Disney wiki)

He voiced Clayton in the animated film Tarzan...

(Thanks to starwars.com)

...and Boss Nass in The Phantom Menace.

In addition, Prince Barin of Arboria was played by Timothy Dalton. Though he hasn’t had many roles in the US, there are two most of you should know. If you remove the porn ‘stache and put him in a tailored tuxedo...

(Thanks to Den of Geek)

...you’ll have the fourth James Bond.

(Thanks to Slash Film)

In addition, he played The Chief in Doom Patrol.

And then there’s the other stars of the film. Names so big the producers were counting on their star power to sell more tickets...

(Thanks to The Mirror)

...Queen!

Freddie Mercury and company wrote not only the theme, but the entire score of the film! The studio was banking on the band’s popularity by plastering their name on every piece of promotional material in huge font.

[Fun Fact: Sam J. Jones, who played the title character, and the producer did not get along at all! In fact, in the final days of shooting, Jones was so fed up that he hopped a plane back to the US before filming ended and didn’t return for the voice dubbing during post-production. The producer grabbed a random member of the crew and told him to dub Jones’s lines. That’s why his voice in Flash Gordon is so different from his voice in the Ted films.]

youtube

(Thanks to arvo2711)

Visually...the effects look dated to be sure (and were kinda cheap-looking even for 1980), but the costumes, set designs, and models look like they came right off the pages of the Sunday strips.

(though the wings of the Hawkmen...not so much)

Anyway, I will be reviewing the film like the old 30s serials, meaning I’ll be doing the review in 15-30 minute clips, ending on a cliffhanger. Hope you enjoy!

If you want to watch the film, it’s available on, LookMovie. And now...on with the show!

youtube

(Thanks to Sam Henderson)

We open to the control room of Ming the Merciless. His chief advisor Klytus, in an effort to alleviate his Emperor’s boredom, has offered up Earth...

...(which looks like the producer couldn’t afford a realistic-looking model of the planet that would include clouds but instead bought a cheap relief globe) as a sacrificial planet. As the opening credits roll, Ming affects Earth with earthquakes, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and...

What the hell is hot hail?

As the credits end, we switch to a small airport where Flash Gordon, star quarterback for the New York Jets (Fun Fact: in the original comics, Flash was a polo player), is waiting in his car on the tarmac (clearly airport security was very lax in the 80s) as what I’m assuming is supposed to be the hot hail peppers his car and dissolves in a cloud of steam.

Then a courtesy van from a nearby hotel pulls in next to Flash’s car (seriously, I know the TSA didn’t exist in the 80s but this is ridiculous) and out hops travel agent Dale Arden.

The pair then head to the waiting plane (and are the only passengers. So we have a sports celebrity and a travel agent flying together as the only passengers on the plane. One would think Flash would have an entourage and would crowd out Dale.)

The two make awkward conversation as the plane takes off.

Outside, we see fist-sized glowing objects falling to Earth and hitting the ground, smouldering. (maybe that’s the hot hail?) Inside the plane, the pilots are dealing with their radio and instruments going haywire...

...until the clouds blot out the sun!

While Flash and Dale are dealing with that crisis, we switch to an observatory owned by Dr. Hans Zarkov (disgraced NASA scientist). One of the projectiles crashes through a skylight...

...landing in the bed of his assistant Munson and catching it on fire! The keen wit Munson possesses realizes something is amiss (especially when he realized it’s a couple of hours after sunrise and still dark out), so he wakes Zarkov (who is sharing a bedroom with him. Obviously money’s been a bit tight since NASA fired him)

Zarkov immediately tells Munson to check out the moon. It turns out the moon’s orbit has shifted.

Then another projectile comes through the roof. Zarkov examines it, immediately realizing it’s not hot hail, but a piece of the moon. Zarkov sees these anomalies as an attack from outer space and the Earth has just 11 days before the moon collides with the Earth, killing everyone (he got all that from rolling a hot rock on the floor?) He then informs Munson he’s been drafted to help Zarkov begin the counter-offensive, which shocks Munson.

[OK, hitting pause here. First off, how did Munson not realize this was Zarkov’s ultimate plan? Was he just doing this for college credit?

Second, Zarkov has a fully-functioning rocket in the middle of his observatory and between NASA, the NSA, the FAA, and the military no one said anything about it? And third...these are two out-of-shape scientists against an alien army of unknown size with technology capable of moving the fucking moon! How the fuck does Zarkov expect to win?!

OK, rant over.]

Munson declines this “honor”...

...but Zarkov insists at gunpoint. Munson decided he’d rather die with a bullet to the back than death by anal probe (assuming the rocket doesn’t kill him first)

Meanwhile at 30,000 feet, another of the projectiles (which for some reason has Ming’s face on it) crashes into the cockpit. We’re not sure if it vaporized the pilots or the plane’s cabin pressure blew them out when the cockpit windshield shattered, but either way...

...Flash and Dale rush to the cockpit and see no one flying the plane! Fortunately, Flash said he was learning to fly in their awkward conversation earlier.

Flash tries to land the plane, crashing into Zarkov’s observatory...

...and flattening Munson (who knew there would be a third option to die?) Flash and Dale evacuate the wreck as Zarkov tricks them into the rocket.

Zarkov then pulls the gun on Dale and Flash, explaining he needs one of them to help fly the ship, choosing Dale since she’s lighter (OK, so now an out-of-shape scientist and a travel agent. Big improvement. I’ll bet those aliens are quaking in their boots now!), but Flash attacks Zarkov. In the ensuing brawl...

...Flash accidentally starts the launch sequence with Zarkov’s head and they take off! (OK, so now we have a professional athlete added to Team Zarkov. Things still don’t look good...)

As the rocket leaves Earth, the three pass out (I’m guessing a combination of G-forces and using 50% more oxygen than Zarkov planned) as it drifts into a sinister-looking hyperspacial vortex that looks straight out of The Black Hole.

WHAT awaits the trio on the other side?

CAN they stop the alien threat and SAVE THE EARTH?

WILL the producers be able to afford a BETTER model of Earth?

These and many other questions will be answered in PART TWO of the review of...

(Thanks to NicePNG)

#flash gordon #sam j jones #max von sydow #music by queen #i hate reruns #Fan Colored Glasses

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yingren · 2 months ago

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“ who said i wasn’t doing it for real ? ” idiot. ren mentally scoffs, finding it absurd that dan feng would even entertain the thought of ulterior motives. by now, dan feng should know ren has little interest in flirting, especially if it’s not sincere. for ren, engaging in shallow flirtation is nothing more than a waste of time and energy. besides, he can’t shake that familiar irritation that rises whenever someone tries to charm him—a weariness that seeps into his expression whenever someone makes an attempt. not that it's entirely their fault; ren is well aware of his own appeal. he knows he doesn’t look half bad, though that hardly compensates for his ever-present mood swings.

“ i have a go bag in the back, let me get it and we can leave. ” someone else can deal with the dishes in the morning—tonight, it's not his problem. the plate isn't entirely scraped clean, but with the last bite already gone, ren figures it wasn’t too bad. actually, he knows it wasn’t; dan feng would have pointed out any flaws in the cooking without hesitation. that’s one thing ren appreciates about him—the doctor's relentless honesty when it comes to offering criticism. ren pulls his hand back, listening to dan feng’s response as he pushes his chair out to stand. he grabs the empty plate & tosses it into one of the large sinks, wiping his hands on a towel nearby. again, the dishes aren’t his concern tonight. moving into the next room, he picks up his things—just the essentials in a small backpack, always ready for whatever might come next.

“ you can always downsize, i never understood why you insist on living like that. what is wrong with something like a studio apartment ? what do you need extra rooms for ? i don’t even know what you use them for. ” there’s a brief pause before ren steps forward, slinging his backpack over his shoulder with keys in hand. he reaches up to his hair, loosening the clip that’s been holding it in place. now that he's finished cooking for the day, there’s no need to stick to regulations, and he lets his hair fall freely down his back. it cascades over his shoulders, revealing its full length—comfortable, he thinks, though sometimes more trouble than it’s worth. “ how many times have i told you to call if you want company ? unfortunately for you, we don’t have telepathy or some shit that makes me sense when you want attention. tell me next time and i will come over. we can hang or do whatever you want. ”

So, Dan Feng was correct; it was indeed Ren trying to flirt without really meaning it. The man’s audacity of even telling him to stop not falling for his flirts has the doctor raising an eyebrow. Lucky for him, Ren had tangled their fingers at that moment, and thus Dan Feng’s tongue was held back from any spiteful commentary. Instead, he says nonchalantly, “perhaps I shall deliver any real reaction when you flirt with me for real.” A shrug of shoulders also follows, for emphasis.

It feels so… domestic. To be sitting with Ren in the kitchen at the end of his shift, when only himself and Ren are around. He supposes the other few employees are taking care of other areas of the restaurant, but it is welcome to not be bothered by them. It’s also good to see Ren eating. The man might work in a restaurant, but Dan Feng knows better than expect him to feed himself correctly. Now, as they share dumplings, hands linked, it really makes him feel like they are something more.

“My shift at the hospital ended half an hour ago.” Long black hair waves slightly when his head moves to deny Ren’s question, and then Dan Feng reaches out to tuck a stray strand away from his face before easily leaning forward to take a bite from the dumpling Ren is feeding him. “But it is late, and I would rather speak about it after some rest. Why don’t you spend the night?” Dan Feng easily reasons that it would be much more practical to go to Ren’s place, get him some clothes, and then they drive to Dan Feng’s place. In the morning, Ren can cook them breakfast, and they can talk about it.

Plus, it will give Dan Feng some time to organize his thoughts and think about what Ren needs to know when cooking for him. “Oh, and of course, I will always tell you beforehand if you have to cook for someone besides me, though it may be rare. And Yunli is always welcome, not only to help out.” He supposes that cooking for dates is obviously out of the list, given that he can’t ask Ren to cook his own food. No, Dan Feng would much rather take him to some restaurant instead. “My house is not too big, but since I’m the only person there, it feels… lonely, sometimes. It will be good to have you there.”

#noctether #replies.#verse ; modern.#long post /#queue on cue.

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britts-galaxy-brain · 2 years ago

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In her most recent livestream Lily decided to begin claiming that a mutual friends of your’s (back when you and LO were still friends) named Alison told you about her molesting children/having CP on her computer and that you “just shrugged it off” without having told the police about it. Needless to say, given what an abusive monster that Lily is and the SHITTON of pedophilic fanfiction/porn that he has stashed away on various secret accounts or has tried desperately to scrub from the internet. I think its very fucking safe to say that LO made all of this crap up. Hell, this ‘Alison’ person sounds a whole HELL of a lot like that Tara Callie person that Lily USED to talk about and claim was guilty of these very safe fucking things. . . . .

You absolutely don’t fucking have to respond to or even mention this ask, I just couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t tell you about this horrible bullcrap that Lily is claiming about you. Its so horrifying to watch this abuse and slander being done by LO to you, Lizzy, Cypher, etc. when she thinks that nobody will be able to hold her fucking accountable for it. Because, surprise, this was absolutely another fucking livestream that has been deleted by LO and not archived by her in the least. I know how awful situations like these ones are, as I’ve had all too familiar experiences with abusers like LO in my own life, and I just want to say what you’re doing is some really great work. That has definitely made a REALLY fucking positive impact on the mental health and well—bring of Lily’s victims. Stay strong, keep doing this incredible work, and one day Lily will find out that abusive, pedophilic monsters like her NEVER fucking succeed in the end!!

I'm glad someone asked me about this directly. I just listened to the clip in full and...hoo boy. Let's begin unpacking that.

(Here's the clip anon is referring to. You can't erase history anymore, Lily.)

First off, there was never anyone in the Valkyr Studios Cinematic Universe named Allison, fake or otherwise. She's talking about Tara Callie. Also, Lily didn't "rat her out". LILY CAME TO ME ASKING IF SHE SHOULD DELETE TARA'S HARD DRIVES.

Now to address the harder, more embarrassing in hindsight aspect to this botched tale; I didn't handle it how it should've been handled. I had no idea what I should do and nobody I could go to for advice. I had also reached a point where I was almost completely convinced Tara Callie didn't exist, which added an extra layer to that "I have no idea how to handle this as a sheltered 19 year old" issue. On a personal note, I'd already dealt with attempting to report my own SM to law enforcement a few years prior to this, only to have it blow up in my face and make everything worse. So in my mind, if something that happened TO ME on a LOCAL LEVEL wasn't enough to be believed, how the hell was I going to get anywhere with an online crime with a person that I wasn't even sure existed at all, from an entirely different country? I racked my brain between the stress I was dealing with IRL to figure out what I should do, or if I should do anything at all, whether I was being played, who I'd contact, how I'd contact them (calling internationally even online was harder back then), etc. No, I didn't handle that situation well. Because I legitimately didn't know what to do. I didn't just "brush it off". It stressed me to no end. All I could think to do at that time was continue to probe "Tara" for any sort of solid proof on whether she was real or not.

LILY KNEW ABOUT TARA'S SEXUAL DEVIANCY THE ENTIRE TIME.

WHICH IS PART OF WHY I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS. LILY KNEW AND ACTED LIKE IT WAS NORMAL. THIS IS NOT THE ONLY INSTANCE OF THIS HAPPENING.

The biggest question I have right now is thus:

WHY WOULD YOU GET DRUNK ON A PUBLIC STREAM WHEN YOU'RE JUGGLING THIS MANY LIES?

#lily orchard #lily peet #peet post #tara callie #evidence #receipts

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absolutebl · 2 years ago

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2022 Upcoming BLs - Mid Year Check In

Here’s a list, by country, of all the BLs that have been announced but not yet aired.

How long does it usually take from an announcement to getting more info on a BL being made?

THAILAND

Thailand is very unreliable, a trailer does not a BL make.

2 Moons 3: The Ambassador - delayed from 2020

*insert sarcastic laughter here* They have announced a cast. That came out of nowhere.

609 Bedtime Story

OhmFluke getting yet another 2022 BL? For WeTV Thailand. No MDL listing yet. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Absolute Zero - delayed from 2021

Wabi Sabi dropped a teaser at the end of 2021. But it’s one of those we know has been in the works for ages. This is a “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from this studio, so be on your guard.

Art Adore En

University set pulp, country mouse/city mouse, crush, cohabitation, they were roommates, gasp! (forced proximity) Bad boy Ray, an art major ends up rooming with Lloyd, an innocent English major with a sheltered background. got a trailer. Country boy studying at a university in Bangkok catches the eye of his senior.

Bed Friend

Office romance, enemies to lovers, good/bad pairing, player meets tsundere, f-buddies. Adapted from a Y-novel via reliable production house Mandee who dropped a mini intro and a few snippets in 2021. Leads: James was Gui’s best friend in Oxygen and one of my top picks at the time to get his own BL. I am VERY excited about this. Net is an established actor but has not done BL before. JimmyTommy supposed to be side dishes as this takes place in the same office as their BL, Middleman’s Love. See below.

Plot: Uea is reserved and shy and hates players. King is a big time flirt. They work in the same office and share a best friend. Despite the fact that they don’t really like each other they end up in bed together.

Rumors: This pair as originally supposed to be the side dishes for Middle Love, but it seems they split the two stories and gave James & Net their own series. Not sure if this is a lesson learned from Why R U? or a lockdown necessity or a shifting to an En of Love model or if James & Net did so well in rehearsal they earned their own series. They are crazy beautiful together.

Predictions: while JimmyTommy will hold down soft and emotional, I think Mandee is going to use NetJames to bring the higher heat, just like they did with FighterTutor. This series could be good especially as it is based on a book so hopefully it has some plot.

Between Us - delayed from 2020 (Nov 2022)

Side characters from 2019′s Until We Meet Again (adaptation of y-novel The Red Thread), this is an adaptation of spin off novel (Hemp Rope). The book tells WinTeam’s romance from the start, so we might get some recon reboot action (like LBC2). From Studio Wabi Sabi for one of their most popular (and commercially viable) pairs BounPrem (Long Khong, You Never Eat Alone, Seven Project, Even Sun), this has plenty of funding and distribution (WeTV) with established (if inconsistent) BL director New (who did UWMA). Special Cute (non story) teaser clips started dropping Nov 2021, filming also started then. Fluke (Pharm) and Ohm (Dean) are expected to reprise their roles from UWMA.

Big Dragon

Announced after (but adding to Star Hunter's) 2022 line up, It is based on the y- novel, มังกรกินใหญ่ by Aiden N Vivienne, features Mangkorn (Dragon) & Yai (Big) in a high drama high angst enemies to lovers with a blackmail plot and a secret piece on the side.

Bitter Sweet

Stars the same actors as My Engineer. But revolves around the co-heirs (played by Cooper & Sean) of a fancy Hotel in Bangkok plus the head pâtissier (Ploy) and head chef (Inntouch). Cooper & Ploy are paired as per usual, which means Sean & Inntouch are playing off each other. Perth and Lay may put in appearances. Official trailer.

Boxer In Heart

A love story blossoms within the boxing arena staring Junior Ronnakorn (Gen Y) and Tiger Tanawat from Pai Roy Kor Production. Announced Feb 2022.

Buddy Line Y Animal

AKA Buddy Line Y(aoi) Animal (seriously?) dropped a trailer. From the same people who brought us The Yearbook (ugh) and based on 4 y-novels written by Scriper, slated to be released this year. Stars Man & Tile (Yearbook), Oat (Make it Right), and unknowns.

Cafe In Love

New Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop close, he tries everything to get it to reopen and falls in love along the way.

Chains of Heart

Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, memory loss, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Poppy (Porpla in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn

An actor falls in love with a programmer and the narrative intends to “explore the ramifications of being public figure in the social network era who must endure critics, bullying, and defamation.” Looks like another Lovely Writer / Call It What You Want sort of thing.

Destiny Seeker

Songkram and Aye both are engineering students and live in university dorms. Songkram is the head student of dorm 3, which is where the "strong and athletic" male students are sorted. Aye is the head student of dorm 2, the dorm where all the "good looking" male students live. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after both of them were chosen to be head students of the dorms. Dorms 2 and 3 have been at each other's throats for generations. Aye and Songkram might act like enemies, but Aye is actually in love with Songkram. However, he thinks Sonkram has feelings for Mean. What Aye doesn't know, is that he's the one Songkram likes, not Mean.

So, Bad Buddy the second coming.

The Eclipse

Tropes include: sinister boarding school, haze the one you love, good boy/bad boy, suspense & horror elements, self acceptance themes, a curse, enemies to lovers. GMMTV 2022 line up announcement full trailer. Staring First (The Shipper) & Khaotung (Tonhon Chonlatee) side dish pair from FUTS NeoLouis, and Pawin (My Gear and Your Gown). Looks good, dark, kind of Blacklist-ish meets Great Men Academy. I actually really like this pairing of Leads and I think they can handle the content. I’m excited about this one.

Fahlanruk - delayed from 2020

(Also spelled Fhalanruk - sigh) Y-novel adaptation featuring one night stand, friends with benefits, pining seme, and high heat. Trailer from June 2020 said coming 2021, so we live in hope. It’s from director Koo who has a long back catalogue of shows, if not a great track record with BL (Club Friday and Tonhon Chonlatee are his).

Plot: Fahlan (smart jock) meets Sherbet (edgy bad boy) sparks fly and they end up in bed together. Fahlan feels a lot more for Sherbet than is allowed, so he hides his feelings. Fahlan’s friends Ping and Tap, try to help their boy win his man, but are struggling with friends-to-lovers woes of their own.

Looks to be a strong contender in the Thai BL pulp dumpster fire of joy arena. It’s using tropes we rarely see and it tonally seems like a combination of Nitiman + Y-Destiny’s players episode (2 of my 2021 favorites). I like sexually messy and identity confused college dramas but this isn’t popular with BL main, and I suspect tastemakers know that. So Fahlanruk might struggle to find funding, but I will toast mad marshmallows over it, if it burns in truth.

Future the series

Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love - yeah I didn’t know that was based on a novel, either). About, you guessed it, an engineering student and a dentist. Maybe this will be the FOTS we were all hoping for? Cast not fully announced yet but Fuse (the engineering student) played by Boom from the En of Love and might be the same character, in which case we can expect this one to be soft.

Heart by Heart

Half Toast Production adapting y-novel of the same name, the trailer is GOOD, and here’s an even longer one, I’m more excited for this one then I thought I would be. Has a bit of a Tasty Florida, jock/nerd, bad boy/good boy, high drama going on. Stars all unknowns but they look like decent actors. (Original trailer staring Gameplay is here, it’s now with a different production company, and new cast.)

I Feel You Linger in the Air

New Thai BL movie from the producers of Lovely Writer. This is a time travel historical romance. FROM THAILAND! H I S T O R I C A L ! ! ! Thai BL adaption of y-novel Violet Rains as I Feel You Linger in the Air has been cast and will be a MOVIE from WeTV x Dee Hup (producers of Lovely Writer). This is Thailand’s first historical BL set in the 1920s (time travel). The MDL listing has been updated with a plot description.

Intern In My Heart

Announced in February, starring Toptap Jirakit & Fame Chawinroj (the doctor in My Ride) in a WeTV production.

I Will Knock You

For Ch3Thailand starring unknowns, adapted from korean_rabbit's y-novel of the same name, directed by Champ Weerachit (2gether & Kiss Me Again) starring fresh faces. A college student and part-time tutor confronts the leader of a gang who then turns out to be his next student. College set student/tutor bad boy/good boy sunshine/grumpy younger seme pairing, enemies to lovers, bully romance? (I like these tropes).

Imado Jinja

For Amarin TV and KANTANA Group under Y Momen. Something to do with lucky cats and Japanese shrines.

Love at First Sight

The description says only, and this is a direct quote: “Reflects different social classes through trains.” I’m confused too.

Love in the Air

New MAME Thai BL offering that got a trailer and inspired much amusement.

Make a Wish

Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) to star in the upcoming WaGa Creative's medical-fantasy. Has had a read through, no trailer yet.

Middleman’s Love

(Formerly Middle Love) adapted from a Y-novel: office romance, friends to lovers, younger seme, self acceptance from reliable production house Mandee who dropped a teaser in 2021. Stars Jimmy Tommy (Why R U?, Close Friend, Peach of Time (not as a couple) and James (Beer in Oxygen) & Net (Bed Friend - see above). This pairing the specializes in soft, to be directed by Cheewin. Sigh. We saw them teased at the and of Cutie Pie so presumably they started this project next.

Plot: Jade works as a graphic designer and has always been stuck in the middle - average. His heart is hardened after a life spent being overlooked because he is not as charming or good looking as the rest of his family or friends. When his office gets a hot new intern, Mai, Jade assumes Mai couldn’t possibly be intersted in him. Instead he believes Mai is after his friend, Uea. Mai, of course, has other ideas.

Thailand’s version of Cherry Magic from their #1 softest ship? If script and production do even a half-arsed job it’s going to be adorable. Low heat and highly toothsome.

Motor-Cycle - delayed from 2019

Formerly known as Motorcycle the series, was supposed to release in 2019 and had a trailer, got bumped to 2020, and now? Who knows what’s up with this one. Dead I think.

Moonlight Chicken

Part of GMMTV’s 2022 line up, full trailer, director Aof has signed on so this is like to happen. Possibly not a romance, probably not BL, adult issues, self actualization, messy gays, cheating, soulmates? Stars EarthMix (1000 Stars, Cupid's Last Wish), First (The Shipper) and Khaotung (Tonhon Chonlatee).

Plot: Mix plays an openly gay character in a relationship with First’s character. Earth portrays a Chef who runs a restaurant while taking care of his nephew.

Apparently Thailand is entering Taiwan’s territory since this looks like a queer actualization narrative. Super smart of them to pick EarthMix for this style BL: messy gays being messy about life, love, and self acceptance. (However, do I think they can handle the high heat? Doubtful. Do I think GMMTV will bring the true high heat? Also doubtful. Case study? Friend Zone) Since this seems to be part of GMMTV’s "Midnight Series” dealing with darker themes like wealth gaps and social struggles, this might be a shorter piece. Good title. May not end happily.

Mr. Bad Guy

Only listed no further info.

My Broccoli

“The law of living in the human world is not to feel loved.”

My Engineer 2 - delayed from 2021

Second part of 2020′s My Engineer, continuation of the story arcs, but shifted focus to side couples (particularly RamKing). Filming was to start in April 2021, lockdown stopped it, so far just promo content. Many of the actors are now involved in other projects. Most of the support cast (except Mek) are expected to reprise their rolls.

My Lucky Cat

From Star Hunter, confusing but possibly about cat tribes (an old yaoi archetype) in a business setting, stars Dun (Thanu from Gen Y) and Bas (Wayo/Wayu 2 Moons, Gen Y).

My Only 12%

Y-novel adaptation (author Afterday - Bad Buddy) friends to lovers, from Studio Wabi Sabi starring SantaEarth (7 Project) about neighbors and childhood friends, Cake & Seeiw, who have totally opposite personalities slowly growing apart because of this. This one has the chemistry and the script so fingers crossed it’s not sad. To air on iQIYI.

My School President

Announced as part of GMMTV’s 2022 line up full trailer, this it their one high school set BL, with tropes like whipping boy, love triangle, and sing your feelings, it’s Love Sick + Korea and Japan's influence. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but this is me: I never met a high school BL I didn’t want to grant a fair shake and I love me some whipping boy. Interesting to see such an old fashioned trope having a bit of a renaissance right now. All fresh faces in this one except Aun (Folk from My Gear).

My Tempo

BL collaboration series from The Brothers Thailand and Proxie Thailand with Chookiat Sakveerakul (Love Of Siam) to direct.

Never Let Me Go

GMMTV’s answer to KinnPorsche part of their 2022 line up, this is a mafia, attack dog (whipping boy + bodyguard), love triangle, obsession, suspense BL (full trailer), with Jojo of 3 Will Be Free to direct, so we know the action parts should be good. Stars PondPhuwin (Fish Upon the Sky), Aun (My Gear), and Chimon (My Dear Loser). Another dark one from GMMTV, not their strong point but this looks good but creepy. Feels a little classic yaoi with almost Japanese elements. I’m delighted to see Phuwin & Pond get a crack at something that’s not FUTS and of course Chimon ALWAYS makes me happy, since he’s one of my favorite GMMTV actors.

Nilundon - delayed from 2021

This is an ensemble of 2 BLs + 1 GL, featuring adult characters, cafe, grumpy/sunshine, rich/poor. It was postponed from 2021 to recast one of the leads, never a good sign. About a freelance photographer and heir to a famed Seoul hotel and restaurant business who, following a family death, returns to Thailand and meets a gregarious young barista. Side romances: producer is head-over-heels in love with her YouTubing bestie, and a veterinarian falls in love with the lead character’s impish cousin.

Past-senger AKA Pastsenger

Stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Copper (My Engineer) in a time slip story (90s kid travels to 2022) that seems a lot like a couple Kdrama’s I’ve watched only BL, so that’s cool. The show has a massive cast with popular actors like TIger (Top Secret Together), Champ Chenrach & Fluke Phisith (Siew Sum Noi) play side dishes. (Marc wasn’t in GMMTV’s 2022 line up, so he may have left after Bad Buddy.)

Past Love In The Future

From MAME rumored to star Smart Chisanupong and James Pongsapak aka LeonPob of Don’t Say No.

The Sweet Robot

Has been cast but with predominantly unknowns, Sib from I am Your King is the only one I recognize. Supposed to have sf/f elements.

Tell the World I Love You: Friends Forever - delayed from 2021 (Movie)

So much for Perth (Ae from Love By Chance) never doing BL again (although that subtitle gives me bromance vibes). He’s opposite Bas (Wayo/Wayu 2 Moons, Gen Y) in this action movie which has completed filming. Was supposed to release to theaters April 2021 then January 2022, not... nothing new trailer here. Established director Poj, support cast include Bank (Gen Y) about two teens falling in love caught up in the world of gagsters.

The Theory series

University set but a couple of mature themes and decent acting, kinda like what FUTS should have been only pulpy. Stars Dome (2 Moons 2) and Benz (En of Love), and Ken (Tum in Lovely Writer who I LOVE). Looks like a classic Thai uni BL about a freshman boy who falls in love at first sight with a graduating senior. I think it’s En of Love stye, so three separate but equally weighted love stories from within a cross over friendship group. (trailer).

Till the World Ends

Got nothing.

To Sir, With Love

New Thai HISTORICAL gay romance came outta nowhere (probubly not BL) aka Khun Chai. Does not look like it’s gonna end happy, but I’m still excited! (trailer)

Trouble Maker

This Faddist y-novel was optioned in 2021 (for 2022 they say) to be directed by Jane (Oxygen, SOTUS S, Nitiman, Our Skyy), starring KaownahTurbo (Love Stage!!!).

War of Y

20 episode of Cheewin’s nonsense.

Wish Me Luck

Starring my boy Fiat (Grean Fictions, SOTUS S, My Gear and Your Gown, Triage) who I’ve been waiting to lead a BL for a decade (it feels like). About a boss and his temporary employee in an advertising company, based on Bittersweet's y-novel of the same name.

Work From Heart

From DV8, starring Love With Benefits couple Gameplay & Folk a romance between two men set in the office featuring lots of other couples.

Y You Y Me

Chalk another one up to CRAZY description gods. (from WeTV). “It tells a story about BL's fandom through Gap, an ordinary boy that never has any experience and the female lead who is an active member of the fandom. The series is about the music band.”

You Are My Favorite

Adapted from a JittiRain y-novel (2gether) announced by GMMTV in their 2022 line up, (full trailer): timeslip, university set, one night stand, rewrite the past to change the future, sunshine/tsundere. Stars Krist (SOTUS) + Mike (2gether, Tonhon Chonlatee) and splitting up two long established branded pairs. Daring move from GMMTV. Another timeslip? (That’s at least 5 from Thailand in 2022). Who knew Krist would do a BL again? Like seriously? Also, is this going to be actual BL? Trailer does feature some classic tropes: elevator, rooftop assignation, lie on ground. I suspect this was originally intended to be a SingtoKrist vehicle, but I like Mike, and it’s nice to see him get a lead. I find him a likable, highly-watchable screen presence. Neither actors nor GMMTV are known for kissing in the BL, so I think we can expect this one to be Korean style low heat. These two are IRL friends though.

You Light Up My Life Again

This is a colab project between Thailand's Studio Wabi Sabi and Mainland China, directed by New Siwaj for WeTV in Thailand and Tencent in China. Chen Wen played Yang Meng, the pretty fae bestie in Addicted Heroin (2016). Thai actors include Mark Siwat (Bite Me) who plays a het side dish, and Wabi Sabi stable actors: Boun (UWMA) and Yacht (LBC). To film at Dhurakij Pundit University known for having more students from China than any other Thai uni in the Mandarin language. (Promo Trailer) Rumor is it's a proper kissing BL but will be edited (censored) and not actually be distributed to China as such, to avoid censorship. Or it will be a bromance. Regardless, don’t trust this one to HEA.

Plot: Qin Jun Hao (Cao En Qi), born into a wealthy family with a passion for basketball, breaks up with his GF, goes Thailand to pursue his dreams. He rooms with Yuan Zhiming (Chen Wen), a poor kid determined to work hard with a scholarship to study at the Faculty of Music. They grow close. Their friends include handsome senior "Charlie" (Mark), prankster "Da Ya" (Hu Hao Fan) and the basketball player "De De" (Boun).

It is about a Buddy & Budder pair system that lasts for a semester. Budder has to take care of Buddy. (For the Americans out there it’s like secret Santa but in service.) The Budder knows the identity of their Buddy, but the Buddy will not be aware of the Budder’s identity. If Buddy guesses the identity of Budder correctly, the Buddy will not need to write a report and get full marks and have the right to ask the Budder to take care of them until graduation.

Tropes already in the trailer? The little yellow backpack (it’s New after all), OMG they were roommates, jock/nerd, piggyback, beach frolic, sing your feelings, freshy games, possible love triangle.

I have a list of BLs that are cross country projects here: BL Without Borders

KOREA

Korean BL is more likely to happen than Thai BL and their trailers come much closer to release of the actual show, after filming completes.

Bon Appetit

From GoGo Studio a romance between office worker Do Hun and Yoon Soo, a man next door who cooks well.

Blueming 2

This is one of my favorites from this year (9/10). I’m not thrilled about this. It’s the same director as TMS2, and I didn’t like that one all that much. Still, I’m always intersted in where Korea goes when it’s given enough rope to hang itself.

Circumstances of Pungdeok Villa Room 304

To be adapted into an 8 ep arc (25 mins ea) about a happy-go-lucky third-generation chaebol who receives an ultimatum from daddy to: 1. Leave the house penniless and survive for 2 years; and 2. Achieve results as team leader in a new business venture. The owner of the villa he lands in ignores and disregards him. However, it turns out they work in the same company. Let the cohabitation office drama commence. Rumored to star the same pair as Kissable Lips - Korea’s first example of a co branded repeat pair. I liked them A LOT and am very excited about this show.

Eccentric Romance

From Silkwood (Peach of Time) about friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER. It is already in production, stars former The Man BLK member Yoon Jun Won and Thai actor Save Saisawat (Ai Long Nhai). I begin to think every The Man BLK member will eventually lead out a BL at this point. This will be Silkwood’s second Thai/Korean colab but not their last.

Eul's Love

Adapted from a webtoon this is a reunion romance office BL.

Heesu in Class 2

Adaption of the comic by Lily, about a shy unpopular boy with a secret crush on best friend.

Comfort the Boy

(Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha webtoon A Shoulder to Cry On) to star idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from Kpop group OMEGA X in 12 ep run. School set, features a teasing confident gay, fake dating, and a rich/poor pairing, about homophobia/gossip putting a scholarship in jeopardy. Interesting that an idol company is allowing two idols from the same group star in a BL together. *danger will robinson” Due out in the fall.

Director Who Buys Me Dinner

This webtoon adaption is supposedly already filming about a new production house employee whose director (absolutely perfect in every way except that he seems to have lost his mind) claims to have lived three lives. Insists that they have to date if they don't want to die.

Happy Merry Ending

From Kidari Studio about 2 men who work with wedding events, grumpy/sunshine pairing.

Follow The Wind

Webtoon adaption from Myung’s BL Film (supposed to have released in the first half of 2022), from the director of My Sweet Dear.

Love is like a Cat

From Silkwood (Peach of Time) another Korean+Thai colab project, this one to star Mew Suppasit (Yeah. Fucking-A.) who plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish director. There is also a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. What the hell is Korea going to do with Mew’s level of gorgeous high heat? Guess who else is in the cast? Lee Geon Woo AND Chu Ji Min AKA Geonu & JM of JUST B.

Love Tractor

Comic adaptation from WATCHA (Light On Me & Semantic Error) about a stressed-out law student who family obligations force into the countryside where a series of strange encounters and misunderstandings with his hunky young farmer neighbor commence. Will this be an extended version of Strongberry’s Some More? Or Korea’s take on Restart After Come Back Home? Either way I am SO EXCITED. Country boy meets city boy is a very underused romance trope in BL.

New Employee

Ffrom WATCHA (Light On Me & Semantic Error) rumored to star Choi Si Hoon (Netflix's Single's Inferno). Another office set BL.

Oh My Assistant

Acquired and cast about but this is a sexy one for Korea, about an artist who draws adult webtoons and spends most of his time horny because of it, who hires an assistant that turns out to be his biggest fan. I guess we’re gone see how Korea handles thirst.

Secret Relationship

To be adapted by Cradle Studio (subsidiary of Kakao). About clever and resourceful Daon who has worked hard to overcome being poor. His cheap ways annoy his coworker, Sunghyeon but after “an incident” with his parents, Daon grows closer to him. But Daon also has feelings for his former tutor. This has the signs of a classic Kdrama all over it: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. I’m optimistic about a longer treatment. Read more about it here.

Space Bakery

From Silkwood (Peach of Time) about a spaceship that crash-lands into and destroys a bakery shop. Of course this means the alien and the baker end up living together. At the same time, other aliens-in-hiding all around the city start hunting for them. One of my most anticipated BLs. It sounds SO WEIRD.

Unintentional Love Story

To star Cha Seo Won and Gongchan (maknae of K-pop B1A4). All we know is it’s a “love story that started with a lie” about rebuilding trust.

VIETNAM

About as unreliable as Thailand. No links to MDL because no Vietnamese shows are on MDL.

The Lost Ring

Reboot expansion into series of 2018 microfilm The Ring Goes Missing. College kid takes work as a houseboy for rich asshole who falls in love with him. From 02 Productions with the original lead pair, but delayed for funding reasons.

Melody In Me

Was to release July 2022 from AB Studios, Vietnam’s first classic uni-style BL featuring music and baking clubs and 2 soft boi pairing.

TAIWAN

Taiwan is more reliable than Thailand or Vietnam, less reliable than Korea.

Ghost and I Becoming Family

Movie about gay and traditional marriage with a police officer who creates a bond between a human and a ghost. Stars Lin Bo Hong and (I think) Greg Hsu.

God's Military Officer

Now THIS is a catchy title but I got nothing but rumored for CHOCO TV from the producers of HIStory 2&3.

About Youth

Alternately I Secretly Fell in Love with Student Council President (let the dumb titles continue) for CHOCO TV from the producers of HIStory 2&3, the director of H1: Stay Away From Me; H2: Crossing the Line; H3: MODC; Love Is Science is attached (we like her). About 2 high school boys with different backgrounds, personalities, and values who compete for student president, but have more attraction than animosity.

Papa & Daddy 2

Coming to GaGa starring Melvin Sia (Damian) and Chiu Mu Han (new actor as Jerry) scheduled to be released on August 8 (Taiwan's Father's Day).

My Tooth Your Love

From Result Entertainment (We Best Love series) about a dentist and his patient, a bar owner and a rebellious young man (who took the initiative even with a 12 year age gap!) script by Lin Pei who loves VERY traditional yaoi tropes (writer of HIStory1: Obsessed, HIStory2: Right or Wrong, HIStory2: Crossing the Line, HIStory3: Trapped, WBL, & See You After Quarantine?) Stars Andy Wu (Amensalism), Yu Jin, Michael Chang, and Alex Chou (composer/musician and the other bartender in WBL).

JAPAN

Japan is as reliable as Korea but takes more time about everything.

Egoist (2023)

One of my absolute favorite Japanese actors Hio Miyazawa (from His the movie) has the lead in this movie adaptation of Makoto Takayama’s autobiographical novel Egoist. He’ll be opposite super famous actor Ryohei Suzuki. This is about an openly gay but vein and superficial man (Hio) who falls in love with a personal trainer (Ryohei) who is stuck taking care of his sick mother. It’s not BL, it’s gay coming of age and we can’t expect it to end happily. Still, I’ll probubly try to watch it. Japanese movies are notoriously difficult to get ahold of, tho.

Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru

No English title yet Minamoto Kazuki's manga: starring Matsuoka Koudai (I know him from Five) and Nakao Masaki (Kakafukaka, Bow Then Kiss - he’s a BIG DEAL ya’ll) slated to be released in October. (source) The description from Crunchyroll is up on MDL but it’s incomprehensible.

My Beautiful Man: The Movie AKA Utsukushii Kare 2

I’m very nervous, I think that series stands alone and is perfect as it already is. I’m worried Japan is over egging the pudding. Meanwhile, My Beautiful Man won the Grand Prix “My Best TV Award” at the 16th Galaxy Awards.

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku

Mira Ori's BLOVED manga (especially be me) is getting an adaptation! Lonely salaryman (talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his baby brother. They build a family together. This is a sweetly gentle and cozy manga and it will make a GREAT live action piece. I’ve recommended the manga in the past to anyone who likes BLs like Ingredients, To My Star, What Did You Eat Yesterday? and I think we are in for similar gay domesticity to Old Fashion Cupcake with this adaptation YAY!

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun AKA Takara and Amagi

AKA Takara-kun and Amagi-kun 8 eps about a popular guy and an outcast boy who like each other and start dating in secret. Premieres August 18 no word on distribution yet.

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Cambodia released a trailer of upcoming Khmer BL មើលបានហាមសម្លឹង AKA Eye Contact. We are in “don’t bet on it happening (or finishing)” territory.

(source)

Dated July 2022. I’ll be tracking these on my magic spreadsheet henceforth and no updating this until the end of year report. Ask if you want to know more.

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