#i don’t even have my ears pierced anymore 😩

[scoutshorror]

Hi! 🤗 What piercings do you have?

hiii actually i just have each side of my nose pierced :) i’ve been waiting for the newer one to fully heal (soon!!) so i can do a hoop on that side too yay. thanks for the ask 💕

[sheisthestorm]

Random question time!!!

0, 5, 9, 11, 14, 18, 22, 24, 27, 35, 37, 39, 40, 45!

That’s a lot of fucking numbers!! Lmao

Had to do 45 first, it wouldn’t let me put it at the bottom.

0 : 5��1

5: no unless you count weed

9: just my ears. I used to have a lip piercing and my nipples. Might get my nipples done again.

11: I have one but the way her life is set up now, We don’t get to talk much anymore 😔 still love her to death.

14: cockiness, shitty energy, non chill people,

18: being raped at 19

22: a paramedic

24: my father ran from fatherhood so he’s more like that friend that checks on me every once in a while after spending years wronging my brothers and I. My mother is a psychotic, manipulative, jealous junkie bitch that prefers 151 and Percs to anything including her kids. Even ruined my relationship with my brothers by having them believe things about me that aren’t true.

27: big, black and beautiful. Male or female.

35: hm. I like a man that can love me and protect me unconditionally. Laugh with me. Challenge me. Get on my dam nerves because he knows he can. I like a man that can be a MAN. Handle his responsibilities. I love a man that not afraid to be sensitive or show his emotions. Be vulnerable to me because he knows I’m gonna take care of him. A man that’s willing to go 50:50. Work with me not up against me. I love a loyal man no matter how rough shit gets he’s gonna ride with me. I also love a man that takes the pussy whenever he wants because he knows it’s his. That takes me like I’m oxygen and he can’t breathe. Smells good. Clean cut (i enjoy a little scruff too). Dresses nice but fuck that flashy shit. I can go all day on this. Lol

37: my body. Lol very insecure about it. I’m working on that though just takes some time.

39: cold stone chocolate with chopped up strawberries and walnuts...fuck me 😩

40: I woman that is safe and secure in her being. And a bad ass paramedic lol

Thank you for your questions.

🖤

[estrellami-1]

Dude I have THE giddiest smile on my face, deadass I covered my mouth with my hand bc I was smiling too hard

Peep the OCD too 👀 and I want you to know this is all because of you and I’m thanking you for it, I never used to think about Steve’s trauma the way I do now. It was always centered on someone else (which, as was discussed, probably is exactly how he’d handle any trauma), never on himself, and I never thought about him having OCD or sensitivity issues or anything.

See and now I’m wondering about how it was when he first got the serum and how Loud and Bright and Fast (yet somehow also slow?) everything is. And I can’t think of a fic where he gets overwhelmed in that way, but you can’t tell me it didn’t happen, especially in the war…

He heard the bomb whistle overhead and flinched when it passed him, the piercing sound too loud for his ears. His brain wanted to shut down, wanted to be away from this awful, loud, smelly place, but he forced himself to focus. His men needed him. Bucky needed him.

A few more bombs then his team rushed forward. He saw Bucky in his periphery scramble up into a tree and start taking shots. Everyone he aimed at went down.

Over to his left, Gabe stopped, aimed, and fired, then swore and moved over to Steve’s side. “There’s more than intel said.”

“How many?”

Gabe shrugged. “Double? Triple?” He checked his gun. “I don’t wanna waste too many shots if I can get in and disarm ‘em.”

“If you think you can, then do it, but don’t take any unnecessary risks.”

“You’re one to talk,” Bucky grumbled, and Steve shot him a look before turning back to Gabe. “I trust you. Keep me updated.”

The battle lasted for far too long. Steve’s fraying nerves were almost cut, and he knew he had to get away before anything happened.

“Steve,” Bucky murmured, appearing at his left and subtly guiding him to his tent. “What’s going on?”

“I dunno,” he answered, only then realizing he was one step away from hyperventilating. “I’m- I’m fine, sorry, just- just need to-”

“Steve,” Bucky said, stopping him just inside the tent by grabbing his hand. He turned to stand in front of Steve, placing the captive hand on his chest. “Follow me. Deep breaths, deep as you can. C’mon. In. Out. Good. Again.”

Steve stared at his hand on Bucky’s chest like it was a lifeline, listening to his instructions, and gradually his breathing calmed. “Good,” Bucky said again, before letting go of his hand. Steve waited a beat too long to take his hand away, and Bucky grabbed it again, this time just holding it. “Steve,” he said quietly, “you got overwhelmed.” Steve nodded, because of everything, that sounded the least wrong. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Bucky asked. “Do you even know what would help?”

“I dunno,” Steve muttered. “This helped. The breathing. It’s just… it’s still all too bright and loud and-”

“Okay,” Bucky said, stopping him before he could get worked up again. “C’mere.” He led him to the cot and laid down, pulling Steve on top of him. He covered Steve’s ear that wasn’t against his chest with one hand, then with the other scratched his head while his arm covered Steve’s eyes. “Relax,” he murmured. “Let it go, c’mon. You’re not there anymore.”

He wasn’t, Steve suddenly realized. He was out. He was with Bucky. And most importantly, he could shake apart if he needed to. Bucky always knew how to put him back together better than he himself did, after all.

…I don’t know where that came from. I don’t know where either of them came from, if I’m being honest. Once again it’s your fault and im grateful.

Also not me just now realizing I accidentally typed “sugar cost” instead of “sugar coat” 😩

Anyways. Thank YOU, Mikey, for being wonderful and caring and supportive ❤️ I may actually write this whole thing one day….. when I have time…… and if I do 100% it’s dedicated to you!

https://turtle-steverogers.tumblr.com/post/669428376686166016/been-reading-a-lot-of-your-posts-about-how

I read this and IMMEDIATELY had thoughts so uh. Enjoy?

“I dunno,” Steve said, studiously not looking at Alyssa’s face. He studied the blue pillow instead and noticed a thread coming loose. He almost reached out to fix it before stopping himself. It’s not his pillow and he knew better. Sometimes it’s just hard to remember the logic when everything in him is screaming Wrong.

“I dunno,” he said again, this time looking at his own hands, clasped in his lap. “It feels like… like my life is almost too perfect. Like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“That’s definitely normal when you’ve been through as much trauma as you have,” Alyssa agreed. He liked her. She didn’t sugar-cost things like other therapists. “But Steve, I can’t help you any further if you aren’t honest with me or yourself.”

Scratch that. She was just as bad as the rest of them—which is to say, she’s good at her job. He watched himself rub the top of his thumb with the side of his other thumb. “I don’t know what else there is to say.”

“Steve,” she said, and sighed. “The entire world knows how you grew up. That was during the peak of eugenics. I know you know now that none of that was right, and maybe you knew back then too, but that doesn’t change the fact that that affects you even now.”

Steve blinked and suddenly remembered running to Bucky’s, lying to him about not seeing the bully’s face.

He’d seen that face every damn day of his life.

“My da, Joseph…” his tongue tasted like ash. “He- he used to hit me. Face, chest, side, anywhere. Didn’t matter. I got in enough fights anyways, what’s one more punch? That was his reasoning, at least. And I guess somewhere along the way I started to believe it.”

“Well,” Alyssa said. “How about we get you to not believe it?” She was wearing the same smile he could feel on his face when a fight was going his way.

“Yeah,” he tried, then cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah. That… that sounds good.”

HI HELLO IM GOING TO FUCKING SOB AT THIS HI HELLO THIS IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER

IN FACT NO THIS IS THE ONLY THING EVER

I QUITE LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING TO ADD BECAUSE I AM INCOHERENT AND THERE ARE TEARS IN MY DAMN EYES THIS IS PERFECTION

STEVE'S INNER MONOLOGUE??? THE THERAPIST BEING GENTLE, BUT ALSO PUSHING JUST WITHIN HIS BOUNDARIES TO MAKE HIM MAKE PROGRESS???

“My da, Joseph…” his tongue tasted like ash. “He- he used to hit me. Face, chest, side, anywhere. Didn’t matter. I got in enough fights anyways, what’s one more punch? That was his reasoning, at least. And I guess somewhere along the way I started to believe it.”

“Well,” Alyssa said. “How about we get you to not believe it?” She was wearing the same smile he could feel on his face when a fight was going his way.

MOST important damn part of that entire thing. Thank you, Sammy. Just. Thank you.