#i do want them to have a better life though
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definitivelydrivel · 2 days ago
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As someone with very very very bad but effectively treated OCD, this. All of this. Though for me, it's more, because pragmatism is the name of the game for me, because morality is subjective enough that the inherent doubt used to eat me alive until I found a new way to look at things.
I used to have this terrible perfectionistic OCD dread about a vague sense that there's some ethereal impossible perfect way of being and doing that I'm always falling short of. It ate my mind and tore apart my life for years till I finally took off the values judgement punishment goggles and started thinking about things more objectively.
And it's funny. Once I stopped trying to moralize every little thought and deed, I started looking at my actions based on a combination of intent and cause and effect. Focus on actions and consequences instead, things got so much better. I wasn't wasting all my time hating myself instead of putting in work to do better.
And that is the thing. Feeling bad because you're obligated to feel bad is useless as penance. It doesn't fix anything, doesn't help anyone, and it actively hurts you. Others too, sometimes.
If feeling bad does fuckall to help improve your outcomes and actions, then fuck it. It's a useless pointless waste of time. If you insist on performing penance then seek absolution in action. Take steps towards habits and actions that align with your values and produce meaningful outcomes instead of torturing yourself needlessly.
Cuz guess what? Torturing yourself needlessly, wallowing in your emotions makes you more of a burden, but the people who love you are already putting up with that. Feeling bad for burdening them doesn't help. So if you feel bad then stop focusing on ot, stop drowning in those bad feelings. Try to accept yourself and your situation and focus on what you can do to do better.
Trying to do better while throwing all your energy into feeling bad is like trying to drive while stomping on the brake. You're just fucking up your car, dude.
I think the bit about thinking about who you want to be is good but for me that means living based on my values. I know what I want and what's important to me. I know my priorities and how I want to treat people, so I try to think about whether my actions and decisions fit my values, because being kind and understanding is one of my most important values and frankly, living up to that is tough but I am always happier living up to my values. There's a satisfaction in it that you just can't get by hounding yourself over every little failing of flaw.
We're human. Flaws come with the territory. Please, if you're stuck in a punitive mindset, please try to make peace with the fact that perfection is impossible, some people will always be shit and we can't fix that. Focus on moving yourself forward instead of tearing yourself and everyone around you down.
It's not a green light to let people hurt you but ffs give yourself and others some empathy.
Every single day people on tumblr say "what if the shit moral OCD tells you was true and living by it was the only way to be a real progressive"
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fxstpace · 3 days ago
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how you get the girl (teaser)
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summary: when you lose a bet against your brother and he forces you to go on a blind date, the last thing you expect is to find your ex-boyfriend at your doorstep, with a bouquet in his hand and a confession on his lips.
pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader genres: romance, angst, smut, exes to lovers!au, brother’s best friend!au (ft. brother!joshua hong) teaser word count: 0.6k
↳ warnings: profanity (full warnings tba)
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“Hi,” he says. “Thanks for the shower.”
“No problem.” You swallow the hitch in your voice, gripping the chopsticks in your hand tightly. “I hope the water was warm.”
“It was.” Jeonghan hesitates for a moment, eyes flickering all across your kitchen before finally meeting your gaze. “Do you need any help?”
“Oh, uh, no. I’m just making ramen. Couldn’t find anything else, sorry.” 
You hate the way your throat dries and your mouth clams up. You rest your hip on the counter, keeping your body angled sideways so you can keep one eye on the stove without appearing rude. All these weeks, and Jeonghan still manages to render you speechless. It’s almost ridiculous.
He jerks, a movement bordering a shrug and a grimace. It’s rare to see Jeonghan so awkward, rarer still to see him floundering for words. If there’s one thing Jeonghan is, it’s a smooth talker. He can charm his way into anything, putting that honey-rich timbre and smooth baritone of his voice to good use. 
“I hope you don’t mind, but,” he finally says, “I put my jacket to dry by the washing machine. The rest of my stuff is in the hamper.”
“Oh. Okay.” You nod. Of course he remembers the exact layout of your apartment—he had been there when you went house-hunting, after all—but it still serves as a sharp reminder to what you used to have and everything you couldn’t salvage. You give the ramen a small stir.
“We didn’t get much of a chance to talk.” Jeonghan sounds casual, but you know better than anyone it’s just feigned. “Because of the rain, and all.”
“...Right.” You turn off the stove and carefully tip the ramen into two bowls. 
“How have you been?”
You force out a chuckle. “That’s redundant, Jeonghan.”
“Just being polite.” He is still calm, and it irritates you.
“Why did you want to meet me?”
Jeonghan lets his head drop, his long bangs falling onto his forehead. He’s let his hair grow out; it almost brushes against his shoulders. He still has the same lean, lithe figure he’s always had, though. It’s slightly disconcerting—familiar yet foreign at the same time.
He moves to lean on the counter opposite you, crossing his arms over his chest. “I can’t meet up with an old friend?”
“We both know your only friend is Joshua.”
“Ouch.” The laugh he barks out is dry. “I have lots of new friends now.”
Your fingers curl into your palm, nails digging into your skin. A tense silence fills the space between you both. Mechanically, you hand him a bowl of ramen and a pair of chopsticks. He takes them wordlessly, nodding his thanks. 
You pick up your own bowl and walk towards your small dining table. You don’t gesture for Jeonghan to follow—you know he will, anyway, just like how he walked into your life with no warning. Your first bite of ramen nearly burns your tongue. You bite back a yelp. 
“Careful, it’s hot,” Jeonghan warns, a hint of a smile on his lips. You glare at him and it vanishes immediately. “Sorry. But I’m serious—how have you been? We haven’t spoken in a while.”
“I wonder why that is.”
“Still the same, I see,” he says, chewing around a mouthful. “I��ve been good too, thanks for asking.”
“You’re an asshole, Jeonghan.” Your grip on the chopsticks falters. They clatter onto the table, but neither of you pay any mind to it. 
Jeonghan rubs some broth off the corner of his mouth, finally averting his gaze to his bowl of ramen instead of looking at you. You sigh, fighting the urge to crawl back into your room and pretend this isn’t happening.
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↳ a/n: thanks for reading! please send an ask/reply if you would like to be added to the tag list :)
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jweekgoji · 2 days ago
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hello, you can resquest scenery, TFO Orion Pax, D-16, B-127 and Sentinel wait for their Conjux femme reader to give birth to their Sparkling. (about the others except Sentinel, where they go to the surface and return to Iacon and it would be that they meet their newborn Sparkling)
TFO Chars/Pregnant!Femme!Reader [hcs]
featuring: Orion Pax, D-16, B-127, Sentinel Prime tw: pregnancy, very brief mentions of violence, slighty yandere!Megs by the end, mixture of fluff/angst. word count: ~1940 a/n: I hope I understood your request well. Feel free to correct me if I did something wrong so I can remake it.
Orion Pax.
I feel like Orion (cogless, since it's before they went to the surface) is probably that typical young dad that has no idea how to take care of a child and might as well set on fire the kitchen in attempts to warm the bottle of energon for the sparkling.
But! He is very enthusiastic about it, and he supports you in every way he can; it's just that he lacks any real experience with it. Reading in the archives about sparklings, pregnancy and how to be a good mentor is easy; the hardest thing is to actually deal with it.
There is a big possibility that you are also cogless like him, and I'm not sure Sentinel actually cares about poor pregnant miners to give them at least a one-day off. Your supervisors would constantly remind you to continue working, since there's always a big need for energon.
Orion often picks up fights because of it. Can't those big bullies see that you're sparked? You need rest and good care, not lifting heavy equipment...As usual, he gets scolded by Elita for not doing his job properly, but he makes sure that he helps you with everything. You can rest during your shift, while Orion is happily working for both of you, so you won't be reported to the higher-ups. It's a little hard, but there is nothing he wouldn't do for you.
Following my last statement and the previous headcanons, Orion desperately wants the best future for all Cybertronians. He hates the thought that his sparkling will grow up in the same place as him. No actual home, no equality, only hatred from the others. That's when he sees the opportunity to change the future, he grasps onto it.
It pains Orion to leave you in Iacon. It wasn't really his fault, though. He would have come back to you after the Iacon 5000 race immediately if it wasn't for Darkwing throwing him on sublevel 50, and the next events after that...
Orion gains the maturity he lacked, and with realization of his other past mistakes, he also understands how careless he was before. You're probably scared to death without him; he left you without a word, and now you have to only guess where your conjunx is. How stressed you will be after someone tells you that he's dead.
Just as much as it scares him and makes him angry at himself, it also motivates him for more. No matter what, he will come back to you.
The moment he sees you, he is relieved. The reunion looks awkward, his form towering over your smaller one, but that doesn't bother either of you. When he finally meets the sparkling, his own little spark, all the pain from the last battle is gone.
Orion swears to you that he will never leave you alone after today; with a new spark born in this world, there is a hope. How meaningful it is for his own child to be born the day the Iacon becomes free.
D-16
Just like Orion, D-16 has a little to no idea how to take care of the sparkling. If his best friend will be so happy to be a sire, D-16 has mixed emotions about this.
Don't get me wrong, he is excited about it just like you, but D-16 is the bot who is reluctant when it comes to going against the rules. He is not sure if this is actually the right place and time for the sparkling to be born now. Both of you are cogless, and there is no great future for you. Maybe after countless cycles ago he can get a higher position, a bit better life, but will it be enough to raise someone so young?
Even then, he shows you that he is happy. He doesn't want you to think that he hates the idea just because he's not so sure about your current life.
D-16 is a naturally strong bot, probably one of the strongest when compared to other miners. He gets extra affectionate with his conjunx, holding you close and maybe even carrying you around if you show him the tiniest sign that you're tired. He is really sweet.
As Orion drags him into the race, he begins to slowly lose his cool. His outburst in the cave after finding out about the truth is even stronger. The betrayal, pain, the sick feeling of worry about you and his sparkling. If only Orion didn't drag him into that damn race, he would have been with you, making sure that you're safe, none of that would have happened.
The frustration boils over with each step he makes. He needs to come back to Iacon, to you, but first, he has to get rid of the one who caused the cycles of pain and humiliation.
 The time D-16 gets his servos on Sentinel, ripping him apart in front of anyone, he thinks it is the only way to solve everything. Only he can fix it, and only he can trust himself with protecting you.
You weren't there to see him deal with Sentinel, thankfully. It is for the best to avoid all the stress it could have caused if you saw him. Your dear conjunx is seething with hatred. Sentinel took many things from him; he wasn't even able to be there with you when your sparkling was born. D-16 Megatron will cherish both of you forever, and he will make sure to raise his little one as strong as him, so they won't live through the same events as D-16 was.
B-127
Oh, this one is a little too sad to speculate. Let's say, both of you are cogless but met each other a long time ago before you two ended up on sublevel 50. The moment you two failed to please the higher-ups and also the moment you find out that you're sparked up. What bad timing!
B-127 seems to be more happy than you are when he realizes that he is going to be a sire. A little too happy. Even though he doesn't fully understand it. You might go like, “You're going to be a sire, Bee” and then he hits you with, “I am sparked up??” which is kind of funny. Is that really your man?
Out of other bots, I can see  being the best sire ever. Of course, he gets a little confused, but who wouldn't be if they dealt with their first child? You try to explain to him everything you know about the topic, and he quickly catches up on it.
B-127 is already thinking about the names. Does Badasstron Junior sound like a good name for sparkling? Or maybe he should practice combining your names together? Anyway, it really helps him not to get insane down here. Having you around is good for Bee's mental health, though you're not so sure how much time passed since you were demoted.
Even then, Bee shows his caring side. He does get serious when the situation really needs it, so he is constantly tied to your hip because he wants you and the sparkling to be safe. The conditions are not great, but he makes the best of it. No matter how bad it gets, he always makes you smile, even though sometimes he has no strength to keep his cheerfulness.
Bee is happy to have more new friends and to partake in the journey of finding the matrix of leadership, but he doesn't want you to get hurt. That's why (with tears in his optics) you two agree that you should stay. But hey, it will probably not take too much time. He will come back with his new friends to Iacon with the matrix; the energon will flow again, so there's no need for you to stay!
Bee doesn't stop yapping about the fact that he is going to be a sire to Elita. This fella just likes to talk and when he sees the opportunity, he doesn't miss it! Poor Elita has to listen to him how hard it is to choose the name for the baby, or how he is going to be the best sire ever once the group comes back. Ohh, did you know that he also really-really loves you? And his sparkling? Elita barely handles him, but even though she never met you, she knows everything about you.
After Bee comes back to Iacon, he almost faints. First he got a cog, then met the high guard, got a job with the government, AND became a sire? When he sees his sparkling, he feels a little sad that he wasn't there with you, but he will compensate it in no time. Every little move your sparkling makes is cheered by,  and Primus have mercy on the poor bots around him. He is probably that dad who will show you the pictures of his kids...
Sentinel Prime
Being a conjunx of Sentinel has its own perks. Lucky you, no work for you! It will be too bad if you get sparked up and cogless, huh?
Sentinel is a busy bot. There is always work waiting for him, especially the oh so important ‘‘searching for matrix of leadership’ thing. Even then, when he is in Iacon, there are lots of paper jobs and meetings  being here and there since everything should be personally controlled by him.
One of the cons while being sparked up and being conjunx of Sentinel is that he doesn't have much time for you. By the end of the day, he always comes back to your quarters, but it's just so lonely without him! You're always surrounded by the guards, the medics, but they can never replace the presence of your loved one.
All the changes in your body don't help at all, the mood swings, the certain energon cravings in the middle of the night, so-so hard to deal with, but he's a Prime, after all, so that shouldn't trouble him that much...
Sentinel might be a little irritated with it. When you wake him up, just to ask for something Primus-knows-what-next, that will probably take hours to search for, but he has no strength to deny you. If his conjunx wants it, he gets it!
I like to think that Sentinel is probably always aware of your and sparkling's health, but in a slightly concerning way. Yes, he can miss one or two meetings at the doctor's with you, but that doesn't mean he is ignorant. Everything is reported straight to him, so if anything, he will drop his work and join you. There is also a looong track of every checkup you had, and he has a timer that counts seconds to when the sparkling is born.
Imagine how annoyed Sentinel is when he gets humiliated by the quintessons and misses the birth of his sparkling? He practically scowls when someone reports him about it and totally has to restrain himself from strangling someone on his way to Iacon, but he manages it somehow.
Sentinel's mood quickly replaced with warmth for you and the sparkling, even though inside his head, he is still annoyed. How could he miss it? When he planned everything to the last second? The one thing that keeps his mind occupied is the little one he has in his servos. He's not going to leave you two again. At least, when he still can.
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misswynters · 18 hours ago
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Tag you’re it!
— short drabble
featuring. ekko x reader
Ekkos super lucky to have a cool and awesome partner like you in his life. He gives you his jacket <3 and i absolutely need him fr fr.
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Zaun’s night was alive, a symphony of life and danger. Neon lights buzzed erratically, painting the streets in streaks of vibrant pinks and greens. The air was thick with humidity and the acrid stench of fumes rising from the ever-churning pipes of the undercity. You stood alone on one of the higher walkways, gazing down at the labyrinth of narrow streets below. It wasn’t safe to linger in one spot too long, especially not for someone with your reputation.
You adjusted the sleeves of the pink and black leather jacket you wore, Ekko’s jacket. It hung loose around your shoulders, the fabric worn and patched in places but still carrying the faintest scent of him. The shorts and cropped tank top you paired with it left your legs free to move. And an essential choice given your weapon of choice: rollerblades strapped snugly to your feet. It was fast, so fast that it left pink marks on its wake.
Below you, Zaun moved like clockwork. People shuffled between stalls, exchanging goods, whispers, and the occasional stolen glance over their shoulders. Somewhere in the distance, a fight broke out, the sound of shouts and the shattering of glass punctuating the night. You exhaled deeply, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
Your girls weren’t with you tonight. The Indigo club, a group you’d built from nothing, had made a name for itself in Zaun. You helped the downtrodden, fought back against the gangs and chem-barons in your own chaotic way, and had fun doing it. For tonight though, you’d sent them home. Sometimes, the quiet helped. But it wasn’t working. The memories pressed against the edges of your mind, unrelenting.
The Enforcers had come without warning. You were only seven, sitting at the dinner table with your parents and siblings, laughing over some silly story your brother had told. Then came the shouts, the crash of boots against the door, and the sharp, metallic ring of gunfire.
Your family’s blood had stained the floorboards, and you’d been left alive, frozen in shock, staring into the lifeless eyes of your mother. That was when Silco had found you, a trembling, hollow child, and taken you under his wing. He’d molded you into something sharp and unbreakable, but even he hadn’t been able to keep you tethered. You’d escaped his world, too, carving out your own existence in Zaun’s shadows.
A sharp sound brought you back to the present.
“Gotta say, you wear that jacket way better than I ever did.”
You turned, a smirk tugging at your lips. Ekko stood a few feet away, his Z-Drive glowing faintly at his side. He looked at you the way he always did, like you were a storm he was more than willing to stand in the path of.
“Yeah?” you teased, placing a hand on your hip. “Could’ve fooled me. It’s a little big.”
He grinned, his gaze sweeping over you. “It’s not the jacket, it’s you. You make anything look good.”
“Smooth,” you replied, rolling your eyes. But you felt the warmth creeping up your neck.
Ekko stepped closer, his expression softening. “You okay? You’ve been out here alone for a while.”
“I’m fine,” you said, your voice steady. “Just needed some air. It’s been quite a day.”
“More like a life,” he muttered, his tone bitter. He reached out, brushing his fingers against your arm.
You looked away, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “Atleast i’m not alone. I have my girls, and I have you.”
“And yet, here you are, by yourself,” he said pointedly.
“Maybe I wanted some company.” You shot him a sideways glance, a challenge in your eyes. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I heard someone was lurking on the rooftops in my jacket,” he replied, smirking. “Thought I’d check it out.”
“Well, now that you’re here,” you said, stepping back and adjusting your rollerblades, “how about a game?”
He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What kind of game?”
“Tag,” you said simply, your smirk widening. “You and me. I’ve got my wheels, and you’ve got your fancy time-travel thing. Let’s see who’s faster.”
Ekko crossed his arms, a playful light in his eyes. “You’re seriously challenging me? You know I can rewind time and i have a hoverboard, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you said, waving him off. “We’ll see how much that helps you when you’re eating my dust.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, you’re on. But don’t cry when I win.”
“Keep dreaming, Z-man.”
The game was chaos, pure and simple. You darted through Zaun’s twisting streets, the wheels of your rollerblades clattering against the uneven ground. Ekko chased you with his hoverboard, his Z-Drive whirring faintly every time he rewound a moment to close the distance.
You weaved between stalls, leaping over crates and sliding under low-hanging pipes with practiced ease. Ekko wasn’t far behind, his agility and quick reflexes keeping him on your tail.
“You’re not bad for a guy who can rewind time!” you called over your shoulder, laughing breathlessly.
“Ha! You’re not bad for someone I’m about to catch!” he shot back, his voice filled with exhilaration.
Just as he was about to grab your arm, you executed a sharp turn, ducking into an alley and out of his reach. His frustrated groan echoed behind you, and you couldn’t help but grin. The chase continued until you reached an open courtyard, the neon lights reflecting off the slick pavement. You skidded to a stop, panting but grinning triumphantly.
“Give up yet?” you teased, leaning on your knees.
Ekko appeared seconds later, breathing just as hard but with a smug look on his face. “You wish.”
Before you could respond, he lunged, wrapping an arm around your waist and spinning you around. You laughed, the sound echoing through the courtyard, as he set you down and held you close.
“I fucking adore you” he said, his forehead resting against yours.
“I know you do,” you replied, your breath mingling with his. For a moment, the world seemed to slow. His eyes searched yours, and you felt the weight of his gaze, the unspoken connection between you.
“You’re it,” he whispered, tagging your side lightly.
“Cheater,” you murmured, but there was no heat in your words.
“That’s me,” he said with a grin, his hand slipping down to intertwine with yours. He knew he can never be on your bad side, i mean with the way he always looked at you. With those cute puppy brown eyes. Absolutely cute. Absolutely handsome indeed he was. You were lucky to have him in your life, treating you with the outmost respect and kindness you didn’t think you deserved.
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taglist. @diffusebread @xxblairslairxx @thesevi0lentdelights
banner. @anitalenia
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strnilolover · 2 days ago
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NNN - chris sturniolo - long distances
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You and Chris had been together for a little over a year, content with one another and the company each of you had to bring.
Before hand — you were good friends, best friends to be exact. Not with just him, but with his brothers too, and it was nice to know nothing really changed after putting a label on the two of you.
Chris and his brothers were already in their filming career when you had gotten together — making videos and posting them twice a week for their fan base that was already growing so large within a short amount of time.
Though, one day, while cuddled up with chris on your couch at your home — he broke the news to you.
He was moving to LA with Matt and Nick. Having already made enough money to afford a nice little place there. It was shocking to hear, and at first you were upset — upset with the fact you couldn’t see him everyday and you wouldn’t be around him when you needed him or wanted him.
But, the upset had been replaced with excitement over time. Thinking of all the possibilities for Chris and how amazing it was that he was able to do this with his brothers. And of all the stories you would be able to hear about his new life in a busy and bustling city.
When the day had finally come for him to move — it was spent with tears and hugs and promises to one another that everything would be okay.
And for the most part it was, you called every night — texted each other too many times through out the day and stayed connected. But, at some point things started to change. Chris grew more busy with work and with his clothing line he was starting, and the absence made you feel empty. Like he wasn’t even really there.
There were less calls, more messages being left on read or delivered — but Chris at least would tell you when he was busy and couldn’t talk, which you appreciated.
Eventually, everything began to weigh down on you. And you needed to tell him — needed to let him know how you were feeling. That you were having doubts.
-
Your room was quiet except for the faint hum of your laptop. Chris’ face filled the screen, his familiar features bathed in the soft light of his LA room. He looked tired, his curls messier than usual and his celtics hoodie hanging loosely on his frame. You tried to ignore the hollow ache in your chest as you smiled at him.
“How was your day?” you asked, forcing a casual tone as your eyes looked around your screen, taking in the view you’ve seen hundreds of times already.
Chris shrugged, leaning back against his chair. “Same as usual. Filmed with Nick and Matt, ran some errands. We tried this new sushi place for dinner. It was good, but, uh… not as good as Boston sushi.”
You let out a soft laugh, even though it stung a little. “Boston sushi is definitely better. How’s the apartment coming along?” you asked — a question that would slip here and there.
Chris shrugged slightly. “Fine, I guess. Still trying to figure out where to put everything. Matt thinks we need more stuff on the walls, but Nick keeps saying we don’t. It’s a whole thing.” He gave a faint smile, his voice lacking its usual warmth. “What about you? How was work?”
“Busy,” you said simply, picking at the edge of your blanket. “Came home, made dinner… I made too much again. I keep forgetting I’m just cooking for one now.” you admitted. Being so used to his presence all the time, you often made dinner for two people — it was still a hard adjustment.
Chris’ smile faltered, guilt flashing in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.
You shook your head quickly, brushing it off. “It’s not your fault. I just need to get used to it still — even if it’s been a little.”
The conversation then faded into silence, and for a moment, all you could hear was the faint rustle of Chris adjusting his laptop. He looked away, his jaw tense, and you felt the words building in your chest — words you’d been too scared to say for weeks right on the tip of your tongue.
It was now or never.
“Chris,” you began hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can we… uhm - can we talk about us?” the words slipping past your lips felt like a burn on your own tongue.
His gaze snapped back to you, his expression guarded. “What about us?”
You hesitated, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “I just… I feel like things have been different lately. At first, we were doing so well — texting all the time, FaceTiming every night. But now… I don’t know. It feels like we’re drifting apart.”
Chris’s brows furrowed at your words, his shoulders visibly tensing. “I’ve noticed it too,” he admitted after a pause. “I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I didn’t want to make things worse.”
You blinked, surprised by his honesty. “You didn’t think I’d feel the same?”
“I don’t know,” he said, running a hand through his curls. “I didn’t want to say anything and make you think I was doubting us or something. And I’m not. I love you. But this…” He gestured vaguely, his hand moving between him and the screen. “This is hard. Harder than I thought it’d be.”
The crack in his voice made your heart ache, but you nodded, tears stinging the corner of your eyes. “It is hard. I miss you so much, Chris. Some nights, it’s all I can think about — how empty this place feels without you here. And then I start wondering… what if we can’t do this? What if it’s too much?”
Chris’s eyes widened slightly, his panic evident. “Wait, are you saying you want to—”
“No!” you interrupted quickly, shaking your head. “No — Chris, that’s not what I mean. I just… I don’t know how to fix this. And I hate feeling like we’re not as close as we used to be.”
Chris let out a slow breath, his shoulders slumping. “I feel the same way,” he said quietly. “I hate that I can’t just drive over and see you when you’ve had a bad day. I hate that I can’t be there to hold you. And honestly… sometimes, I feel like I’m letting you down.”
“You’re not,” you said firmly, leaning closer to the screen. “Chris, you’re doing the best you can. We both are. But we need to be honest with each other if we’re going to make this work.”
He nodded slowly, his jaw tightening as he processed your words. “You’re right. I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want to make things worse, but… I guess that’s only made things harder. I’ve missed you so much, and it’s been killing me not to tell you how much I’ve been struggling with this.”
Tears now spilled down your cheeks, and you wiped them away quickly with your sleeve. “I’ve been struggling too. And I was scared to tell you because… what if it made you think I didn’t believe in us anymore? I do, Chris. I love you so much. I just… I didn’t know how to deal with all of this on my own.”
His expression softened, and he leaned closer to the camera, his voice gentle. “You don’t have to deal with it alone, okay? We’re in this together. And if that means being brutally honest about how much this sucks sometimes, then that’s what we’ll do.”
You laughed softly through your tears, nodding. “Deal. And… maybe we can try to plan our visits better. I need to see you, Chris. I think that’ll help a lot.” you whispered, feeling yourself ease up a little at the thought of him here — with you.
His lips quirked into a small smile. “Funny you should say that… I’ve been looking at flights to Boston. I was going to surprise you, but… maybe we need this sooner rather than later. I’ll come next month. No excuses.”
“Really?” you asked, your heart swelling with hope.
“Really,” he said, his smile growing. “I need to hold you again. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work.”
A weight lifted from your chest, and you smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks. “I’ll hold you to that,” you teased, your voice lighter.
Chris chuckled, the sound warming your heart. “I love you. And no matter how hard this gets, I’m not giving up on us. Ever.”
“I love you too,” you said softly. “And I promise… I’ll do everything I can to make this work too.”
It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was a start. The rest of the night felt lighter — the ache in your chest still present but less. You both were more cheerful — joking around about random things and teasing him about how his hair was too messy — along with his room.
You smiled at your screen, watching as Chris did the same. His hand coming up to his lips and blowing you a kiss through the screen — and you blushed.
You’re just hoping that whatever was said tonight…was going to stick.
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spaceman-earthgirl · 3 days ago
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“Agatha and Rio arrived at school together this morning,” Jen says by way of greeting, dropping her books on the table and joining Alice and Lilia.
Alice looks up, half intrigued, but Lilia keeps her head down, ignoring Jen except for a little wave in greeting.
It’s before school, and the staff room is mostly empty, giving them plenty of space to gossip before the school day starts. Though not a lot of time, the bell for first period is about to ring so they better make this quick.
“When you say ‘arrived together’ do you mean they got out of the same car, or just walked into the building together?" Alice asks.
Jen deflates a little. “I saw them walk into the building together.”
“Then that proves nothing,” Alice says, returning to her book too.
It’s been a hot topic of discussion over the last few months, what’s going on between the two of them, ever since Alice had seen them in the hallway together, Agatha laughing at something Rio said. 
The way Alice tells it, Rio even touched Agatha’s arm, but that detail was added after a few retellings so Jen isn’t so sure about that part.
Either way, ever since they noticed, they can’t stop speculating, because even just the few times Jen has seen them interact since, there’s definitely been a vibe.
Lilia has repeated on multiple occasions that she thinks they’re together, but they need proof.
And Jen is determined to find it.
---
“Someone sent Agatha flowers.”
Jen grins, Alice always gets the good gossip.
“Who are they from?” Jen asks. There’s a pile of homework she needs to grade before her next class but this is more important.
“I’m not sure, I was in the main office when they got delivered. I managed to sneak a look at the card but all it had on it was a little green heart.”
Jen thinks about this for a minute. “A secret admirer perhaps? Maybe even one who teaches biology a few doors down.”
“There’s no way to prove that,” Alice says, but she still looks on board with this information.
“What if we just ask Agatha?” Jen asks, keeping a straight face for as long as she can before she bursts out laughing, Alice, and even Lilia joining in.
“It’d be your funeral,” Alice says.
And Jen knows it would be.
Agatha is snarky and no bullshit and you always want her on your side in an argument. There’s no way she’s risking Agatha’s bad side.
When she’d first met Agatha, she’d wondered why someone like her would even want to be a teacher, and then she’d actually seen her with her students and she’d changed her mind. Agatha might be scary, but she has a way with kids that Jen didn’t expect.
Maybe it’s the no bullshit thing that kids respect, but whatever it is, the kids love Agatha and she seems to love them too.
But there is still no way she’d ever ask Agatha about her personal life. From what Jen can gather from their limited interactions is that Agatha is a private person, and she’s not going to question that.
She really hopes Agatha never finds out that their favourite way to spend their lunch break is gossip about her and the chemistry she clearly has with Rio.
read the rest on ao3 or under the cut
---
“I just saw Agatha and Rio having lunch together in Agatha’s classroom.”
They really don’t greet each other normally anymore, they just spill gossip. She hopes the other teachers don’t overhear them. Or if they do, they have gossip to contribute.
“I knew it,” Jen says, like that’s the proof they needed when in fact it proves nothing except the fact that they’re friends.
Which they knew already, so that’s not news. They've seen them together enough to know that they're friends, which only adds fuel to their speculation because Agatha doesn't have any other friends at school besides Rio.
“And they were sharing a sandwich,” Alice adds.
Ok, that might be something. 
“’Lady and the tramp’ style?” Jen asks, because that’s the first thought that pops into her mind when Alice says it and she also knows Alice will hate her question.
As expected, she gets a withering gaze in return. “No not ‘lady and the tramp’ style, they were sharing a sandwich like normal people do, Rio handed Agatha half of her sandwich, but that’s all I glimpsed as I walked by.”
“I mean, that’s kind of something I guess?” Jen says. “Lilia, back me up?”
Lilia barely looks up from the book she’s buried in. “You already know my opinion on the matter, but that alone proves nothing.”
“I’m adding that to the list of signs they’re dating,” Jen decides after some thought. It doesn’t really prove anything either way, but she’s going to figure it out.
---
“Guess who is chaperoning the school lock in tonight together?” Jen asks. She feels like this is good information.
“I’m guessing Agatha and Rio?” Alice answers, taking a carrot stick from the container Jen offers. 
“As well as about 10 other teachers,” Lilia pipes in, ruining the fun.
Lilia is still firmly in the camp of “they’re definitely together, and why bother gossiping about someone else’s personal life?” but even she sometimes gets involved. She’d been the one that noticed Rio wearing a shirt she swears up and down she’d seen Agatha wear before.
But maybe they just shop at the same place, so that proved nothing either.
“Are either of you two chaperoning?” Jen asks. When they were taking volunteers, she’d said no. She couldn’t think of anything worse than being locked in the gym overnight with a bunch of kids. 
Agatha doesn’t usually volunteer for school activities either, which is why this is a little suspicious.
“No,” Alice says as Lilia shakes her head.
Damn, she wishes she’d volunteered now, they might’ve gotten some good intel.
On Monday, they get no information from any of the other teachers because she’s pretty sure no one else is as invested as they are so that’s a bust.
---
Jen is halfway through her sandwich when Agatha walks into the staff room. She watches in surprise as Agatha crosses the room, takes a seat at the only empty table and pulls out her lunch.
“Do you think they’ve had a fight?” Alice asks, as quietly as she can. There’s no need to ask who she’s talking about, they all know.
They’re all fairly certain that Agatha and Rio spend every lunch break together, so why not today?
The logical answer is that she’s busy so Agatha is eating alone but gossip and speculation isn’t logical.
A couple minutes later, Rio walks in and the imaginative side of Jen’s brain runs away with her, to the point that by the time Rio has crossed the room, Jen is expecting a fight because in her mind they’ve broken up, but all Rio does is sit down next to Agatha and pull out her own food.
Jen deflates a little. Not that she’d wanted a fight, but it at least meant they might get some drama.
That doesn’t stop her from watching them though. As subtly as she can, of course. She can see Alice and Lilia doing the same, all three looking for clues to whether something is going on between them or not.
But it’s about as boring as watching anyone else each lunch. All they’re doing is talking and eating and Jen is just starting to wonder if maybe they’re reading too much into things when it happens.
Jen can’t see from where she’s sitting what Agatha is eating, but whatever it is, it must be messy enough for Agatha to get something on her face. Rio reaches out and wipes her thumb across Agatha’s lips, removing whatever food was there, before bringing the thumb to her own mouth to lick it clean.
Alice immediately clutches Jen’s arm, clearly just having seen it too.
They (again, subtly) watch in silence until Agatha and Rio get up and leave not long later, nothing else eventful happening after the incidentTM.
“Did you see that?” Alice asks as soon as Agatha and Rio are gone.
“That is not 'just friends’ behaviour,” Jen says, still in shock at what they’d witnessed. Maybe there was something to this after all.
“I mean-“ Alice starts, like she’s about to justify it.
“No. Do you ever do that with your friends?”
“No,” Alice says, her cheeks going red.
“Exactly. So we’re adding this to the list of evidence that they’re dating.” Not that that list is very long, but if they’re not dating, then they’re clearly into each other, evidenced not just by what Rio had done, but by the fact that Agatha hadn’t punched her afterwards.
---
It’s early, earlier than she’d usually arrive at school, but they have a school spirit event today so they’d all arrived early to set up their classrooms.
But before that, Jen needs coffee.
There are a few other teachers on campus, all trying to get an early start on the day, so she’s not surprised when they walk into the staff room and find they’re not alone.
What she very much is surprised by, however, is that the two people in the room are Agatha and Rio.
And they’re kissing.
It’s a fairly chaste kiss, as far kisses go, which is probably good considering they’re at school. But Agatha is pressed close to Rio, Rio crowded against the counter.
At least their hands are in appropriate places.
The noise of the door closing must alert them to the fact that they’re not alone as they break the kiss and turn towards the noise.
“Morning,” Rio smiles, giving a small wave. She makes no move to push Agatha away though and Agatha doesn’t move either. Agatha does give a flippant wave in their direction which Jen is assuming is also a hello.
Clearly, they don’t care that they’ve been caught because Rio turns back to Agatha, saying something too quietly for them to hear but whatever it is, Agatha laughs.
Jen will blame the lack of coffee and the fact that they’ve been speculating about this for months for her next words.
“You two are together?” Jen asks before she can stop herself. There definitely was a more tactful way to ask that but it’s too late.
“I told you,” Lilia says, as Agatha and Rio turn back to them, finally stepping apart. Lilia pays everyone no mind as she walks across the room and starts making herself a coffee.
Jen ignores her, too focused on the two women on the other side of the room.
Agatha looks mad now, which is a little scary, but Rio looks amused.
“Are you serious?” Agatha asks, voice gruff, and Jen is starting to have regrets. But they’re in this now, and there’s only one way to find out the truth.
“We just…” Jen looks to Alice for support, but she holds her hands up in a way that says ‘don’t make me a part of this’. 
Traitor.
“We’d just noticed you two spending a lot of time together and you obviously have chemistry so we couldn’t help wondering if something was going on.”
Rio looks even more amused, and there’s a slight quirk to Agatha’s lips too which means she’s at least not contemplating killing her right now.
“You know nothing exciting ever happens in Westview,” Jen adds, like it justifies their actions. “It was just idle gossip.”
“Well, Rio starts. “You know, I saw Agatha and I just couldn’t stay away. I’ve been trying to get her to go on a date with me all year, it was those sexy reading glasses that-
Agatha gives Rio a slight shove, pushing her away and cutting her off. Agatha still doesn’t look mad at least. “We’re married,” Agatha says with a roll of her eyes, but the look is directed at Rio.
“See, I just couldn’t stay away,” Rio grins, gesturing to Agatha. “All she did was ask me one little question and now I’m hers fore-“
“Stop,” Agatha cuts in, giving Rio another playful shove but she’s looking at Rio with such affection that no one could deny them being in love. “Or else you’re walking home.”
Rio holds her hands up in surrender with a grin.
“You’re married?” Jen finally asks, incredulous. She almost feels like she’s intruding on something.
How on earth did they miss that?
“We’ve been married for eight years,” Agatha supplies, looking a little annoyed again. It’s very clear that the annoyance is directed at them, and not Rio. “It’s not a secret, everyone knows.”
Jen’s mouth drops open. 
“Or we thought everyone did.” Rio says, taking Agatha’s hand, threading their fingers together. “We have a kid too, if that helps,”
Jen feels each new piece of information like a physical blow. She needs to lie down, this is too much this early in the morning.
They clearly missed a lot.
“Come on,” Rio says, giving Agatha’s hand a tug. “Let’s leave these guys to whatever it is they’ve got going on here.”
“Sorry,” Jen says, having the decency to look sheepish as Agatha and Rio walk past them.
Even more so when Agatha stops and turns to them. 
“Maybe next time, don’t gossip about people behind their backs. If you have a question, just ask.”
“You heard the lady,” Rio winks, tugging on Agatha’s hand once more and then they’re alone again.
Jen and Alice wait a few short moments, making sure Agatha and Rio are out of earshot before they turn to each other.
“Oh my God,” Jen says, at the same time Alice says “I thought Agatha might hit you there for a moment.”
“I told you so,” Lilia says, carefully setting down three cups of coffee on their usual table.
She’s a lifesaver.
“I’m sorry, you did,” Jen says, gratefully accepting the mug. “Next time, I’ll believe you.”
“I can’t believe we missed it, all this time,” Alice says, looking equally grateful for her drink.
“Technically we missed nothing, we thought something might be going on and we were right.”
Jen is sticking by the fact that they got this one right.
“Yeah,” Alice says. “But married for eight years is a little different than wondering if two people are dating.”
Jen waves her off. “Details. But don’t think I will forget that you basically threw me under the bus there.”
Alice is the one who looks sheepish now. “Sorry, but she’s scary.”
Jen won’t deny that. “So, who’s going to be our next source of gossip? We’re going to need something new to talk about.”
Alice rolls her eyes but doesn’t protest, which is either because she’s too tired this early, or because she wants the gossip too.
Probably both.
“What about your love life?” Jen teases, earning a glare from Alice that she knew was coming. So, what? It’s easy to wind her up.
“Don’t you dare,” Alice warns.
“Fine,” Jen laughs. She’s sure they’ll find something else to gossip about, at least for now they’ve solved the Agatha and Rio mystery. 
Which wasn’t really a mystery after all, because it was common knowledge.
Apparently they were just the last to find out.
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unbotheredgoose · 2 days ago
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if there's one thing you know about yourself is that you shouldn watch your mouth when you're drunk.
but you're out with your friend, and she looks beautiful when she laughs, and it's so good to see her not stressed from work, and it's great that you finally get to hang out after such a long time, and you can't help but ask her:
"why?"
"why what?"
"why do you humans keep wasting so many resources trying to make that earth planet habital? i don't get it."
she gets this somber look in her face. the laughter stops. she looks like she might cry.
you feel terrible.
"i'm so sorry, i shouldn't have... you don't have to answer that-"
"my grandma was born there, you know that?"
you stop talking. she looks distant.
"when i was a kid, she told us all about how it used to be, before everything. when she was little, she lived in a small house with her parents, and her mom grew crops in the garden, and they had a tree that gave them bitersweet fruit on the summers. sometimes birds would make nests on that tree, and she and my great grandma would set up little houses and playthings for the babies to play with.
she was always fascinated by birds. all animals, really, but especially birds. i've never seen a bird in my entire life if not for her drawings, and she always regretted the fact that she never got into coloring to show us exactly what they looked like.
she has pictures of her and her college friends visiting waterfalls and running together in the wilderness. she used to camp, like, a lot, really camp, in the middle of the woods, just her and her friends, like we read in the books. it's different from camping in vr, she kept telling us, we had to actually learn how to not die in the woods.
she married my grandpa at the beach, and... it's so different from the simulations. the sunset was beautiful in the pictures she showed us, but she told us that it was even better in person. she looked so beautiful with her sunburnt skin, even though she was in pain, and we never have to worry about burning our skin because of the sun, everything is all so protected and artificial, we don't even see the sun anymore.
my grandparents promised each other that when they got older they would have a farm. my grandma always wanted a few birds and a big dog. but then, when my parents were ten years old, the planet was so screwed that they had to populate other planets. she kept telling us that she was one of the lucky ones, because my grandpa was in the military and they helped people evacuate, but that most people like her died on earth.
everyone thinks it's our fault, you know? we doomed our planet, why would we even be trying so hard to restore it? i don't know. my grandma did it because she didn't want my parents to grow up in this place, where everything is made up and she did it all for nothing, because we're still here and we know nothing different from it. and to be honest, it's kind of hard to believe it was her fault in the first place. she really did her best. she saved water. she planted trees. she protected birds and other wildlife. she protested.
the truth is: no one listened. no one important enough, at least. no one cared about the little people like her, who were just trying to live their lives in a doomed world, and kept doing her best. the big guys wanted the money and they fucked everyone else over just to have it."
"i'm sorry, i-"
"i guess now that we've lost everything people are finally learning to miss what we used to have. our lives weren't so bad. and we want to go home, even though that doesn't make sense. i don't know what home looks like. i don't know what a bird looks like, or what it's like to stand on a beach and feel the waves lap at your feet, or what the forest smells like. but i keep trying to go back anyways."
she takes a sip of her drink.
you stay silent.
"You humans have hundreds of planets under your control, so why do you waste so many resources trying to make that Earth planet habital? I genuinely don't understand."
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arcturianview · 2 days ago
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im still pissed abt Viktor being told "nooooo don't try to cure your terminal illness!!! dont try to fix your leg!!! you're beautiful because of it"
there was a way to write this that didn't feel gross. this was not that way. with more time; with him actually overstepping bounds and pushing on in spite of it instead of immediately becoming suicidal; with this desire to "fix himself" shown more to be because of external pressure instead of a desire to stop his escalating pain and impending death, i could have found this to not feel awful. but it does.
maybe just pointing out his leg as an example could have worked. especially if it was more heavily demonstrated that his desire to walk without mobility aids was rooted in insecurity (perhaps he proudly shows off to people that he can now walk "normally")
but using his terminal illness as an example is just gross. just "be happy you're going to die young because its part of what makes you who you are" GIRL WHAT???
especially when his terminal illness is rooted in systemic issues... eh. feels bad man.
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bonelyheartsclub · 3 days ago
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for the swap versions of eachother (undertale/underswap and underfell/fellswap) what was it like seeing themselves essentially swapped with their own brother? and do you think the swapped versions of themselves get along for being like minded or are opposed to each other for it (at least when they first met i know they get along now lol)
Stretch: Was definitely…… overwhelmed when he met Papyrus and Boss. Imagining himself running around, doing everything like that every hour of every day made him feel tired just thinking it. More power to those guys. And he gets along with them as easy as his “lazy” counterparts, just conversation naturally oozes out with them.
Blue: Was absolutely astounded to see Sans and Red, how could he ever be that lazy in any universe? Though given he also shares their trait of lacking motivation in some things, he supposes he can relate. Papyrus was a great make-up gift, though, and the two became quick friends! Boss not so much, but that was for other reasons. Mainly dissimilar wavelengths. If anything came from it, though, it was nice to see that no matter the universe, his brother still kept his sweet tooth.
Red: Felt right at home with Blue and Nox. Even with the switching, he just saw it as more people to playfully antagonize with puns and pranks a plenty. He knows himself, he'd enjoy some April fooling, even if they were a bit more uppity. Stretch and Rus were a bit odd; he never thought he'd see his brother be so lackadaisical about anything. It took a bit of adjustment, but he considers them good buddies now. Though he does try to tone things down a little bit for them, moreso than he does for Sans; the part of him that still sees his little brother deems it so.
Boss: The swap siblings were a bit of a surprise to Boss, initially. Though over time, he realized Stretch still had ambition in his own way. Maybe not for the same things HE did, but nonetheless. Blue was a bit more difficult to understand, but gradually he noticed more similarities with Red. Particularly in their need to mess with each other; something he was glad to not be a part of. He was most perplexed by Rus. Knowing he came from such a harsh universe, he was initially surprised someone so clumsy could make it out of there. Though seeing Nox, he supposed it wasn't too much of a surprise: his brother would look out for him in any universe.
Papyrus: For Papyrus, seeing other versions of himself was a little earth-shattering, since before he had assumed it was just he and his brother. At first, he's ecstatic that there's more skeletons!! More friends who understand, especially with Blue!! He does realize later on that not all of his alternates have had the best life, but he wants to make sure they're comfortable from now on.
Sans: Was initially a bit surprised by the swapped siblings (and he for sure had some thoughts about multiverse theory when he met them), but once he got over the moment of shock, he found it easy enough to get along with all of them. Both Stretch and Blue remind him of Papyrus at times, just in different ways. Nox and Rus don't exactly have that same odd familiarity, though he likes them enough to be a general nuisance to them.
Nox: Was defensive and confused at first; seeing different versions of himself and his brother disheartened and enlightened him a bit. Seeing that others had better lives than them had him disappointed, but knowing Boss and Red having similar experiences of the underground had him feeling a sort of comradery- especially with Boss, even if they don't see eye to eye all the time.
Rus: Was a bit overwhelmed in general by the different versions, but he finds them all to be good company now. Papyrus was the oddest version of himself to see, but he admires Paps' energy. Boss reminded him a little of his brother and Rus admires him for his drive and ability to get things done. Stretch is the easiest to get along with for him, and Blue is a bit perplexing to him at times. Sans and Red are odd and definitely different from Nox, but he likes them both well enough (as long as Red keeps any big pranks to himself.)
Via @/Buttergriffin332 (Stretch), @/DuskySkye (Blue, Red, Boss), @/Creative-poptart (Papyrus), @/Lost-immortality (Sans), @/ChrysanStarset (Nox), & @/Goatdadjaxx (Rus).
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sinsirellaxx · 1 day ago
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Slytherin boys – when they get tired of you
Warning: not proofread, toxic boys!
Enjoy.
Mattheo …
… is cold as ice when he has had enough of you.
… is triggered by your mere presence and is very impatient with you. “Stop being so goddamn clingy, for fuck’s sake …”
… does not feel bad when you start tearing up – he could not care less.
… depending on how vulnerable and hurt you are by his behavior he would shamelessly use you and drag you along for his own entertainment.
… he is nice-ish whenever he wants something from you – mainly sex – and the moment he’s had his fill he’d toss you aside.
… if you told him to fuck off, he’d be pissed at your attitude, not having expected this side of you. He’ll bully you and try to make your life at Hogwarts unbearable.
Theodore …
… is immediately disgusted whenever you try to touch him after he has lost interest.
… will avoid you – not in the mood for any confrontation because he just cannot be bothered.
… will ask you why you’re there if you manage to corner him in his room and laugh into your face when you tell him that you are trying to find out why your boyfriend has been avoiding you. “Oh, no … did you really think we were a thing? Amore, I don’t do relationships, you poor thing.” He’ll chuckle, while sneering down at you – completely acting like the last few months did not happen.
Lorenzo …
… is angry at you for being so boring, because why else would he lose interest? He is perfect so it must be you.
… cringes when you try to kiss him one morning and pushes you away from his body with one hand and will try to humiliate you in front of his friends, “Your breath smells …”.
… he’ll watch you blush in embarrassment as you cover your mouth with your hand before rushing away with a mumbled ‘sorry’.
… will try to make it seem like you are fucking up before he officially breaks up with you, “You know I hate this.”, “What do you mean you didn’t know we were supposed to go on a date yesterday?” – things like that.
Draco …
… is ice-cold in his words and actions, treating you like an inconvenience when he loses interest.
… will make snide remarks and passive-aggressive comments to push you away without directly confronting you. "Honestly, do you have nothing better to do than cling to me all the time?"
… enjoys toying with your emotions, subtly pulling you back in whenever you try to distance yourself.
… if you challenge him, he'll scoff and act like you're beneath him, making it clear that your feelings mean nothing to him. "You’re being overly dramatic. Grow up, will you?"
… if you stand up for yourself and call him out, he'll smirk and pretend he finds it amusing, but deep down, his ego will take a hit. He’ll go out of his way to make you regret it in public, embarrassing you in front of others.
Blaise …
… … is indifferent and distant when he starts losing interest, but he’ll keep up the charm just enough to keep you guessing.
… avoids confrontation completely, leaving you to figure it out on your own. If you ask him what's going on, he’ll shrug it off, "Why are you making this a thing? Don’t overthink it."
… manipulates the situation so you’re the one who feels guilty, even though he’s the one who pulled away. "I didn’t realize I needed to explain myself every second of the day."
… if you demand answers or push too hard, he’ll smirk lazily and say, "It’s not that deep. You should move on."
Tom …
… is calculating and cold, losing interest the moment you stop being of use to him.
… will make you feel small and insignificant through his words, “Do you really think you matter to me? That’s laughable.”
… has no patience for your emotions, viewing them as weakness. He’ll mock you if you cry or plead with him.
… uses manipulation to make you feel like the problem. "You’re the one who couldn’t keep up, don’t try to blame me for your shortcomings."
… if you try to leave him or call him out, he’ll retaliate, ensuring you regret ever challenging him. He doesn’t let go easily – not because he cares, but because he enjoys control and wants to see you crumble.
… is cruel enough to turn your friends or others against you, twisting the narrative to make himself look innocent and you, the unstable one.
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verstappenf1lecccc · 2 days ago
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Imma need this haah so I was watching the race yesterday and I heard Nando come on the radio to say he would have given in by now but he needs to do it for a few people etc and I’ve seen the video at the end of the race where he’s struggling to get out of the car I can’t send it if you haven’t seen it and was thinking of Nando x reader based around this. You know me throw some angst in there and lots of fluff please 🙏 your my favourite Nando writer I love your work ❤️
I am so sorry this took so long I have an exam today and just wanted to finish it before I went in!! i hope you like it :)
For you
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Fernando Alonso had never been one to back down from a challenge or a fight.
It wasn’t in his nature.
He never caved, never gave up, no matter how overwhelming the situation or how drained he felt.
That was what made the Brazilian Grand Prix such a shock—not just to Aston Martin, but to you, especially.
You had been by Fernando’s side for over 10 years, and his wife for 7 of those.
You knew him inside out, perhaps better than anyone else. You knew how stubborn he could be, how relentless, especially when it came to the risks he took behind the wheel.
The race had been brutal.
The heat was suffocating, visibility was near zero in certain sectors, and the pressure to deliver was immense.
You’d been watching from the edge of your seat, every moment fraught with anxiety. You were praying to anyone who could hear, hoping for a safe race. But deep down, you couldn’t shake the fear that his age was beginning to catch up with him.
Fernando wasn’t the young firecracker he once was, yet he never showed any sign of slowing down.
To the media, to the world, he was as fit and strong as ever. But with you—he was different. With you, he didn’t have to wear that mask of invulnerability.
That day in Brazil, the race had pushed him to his limits. The physical exhaustion, the mental strain, the constant, unrelenting pressure to win—it all weighed heavily on him.
You had seen him on those mornings when he woke up groaning in pain, his back stiff from the wear and tear of years of racing, and you knew it wasn’t just the way he slept. You knew the strain his body was under, but he would never admit it. Never to the world, and never to himself.
Yet, despite it all, there was something deeper driving him forward. Something that kept him pushing when every muscle in his body screamed for him to stop.
Just before the race, you two had fought. It had been a long, tense argument, your voices raised in frustration. You had begged him, pleaded with him, “Fernando, you need to slow down. The risks you’re taking, they’re too much. I don’t want to lose you.”
But he had been defensive, angry even. His pride, his need to prove he still had it, had made him dismiss your concerns. “I know what I’m doing,” he had snapped, his voice cutting through the tension. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
He had stormed off, leaving you with nothing but the echo of his words. But you knew, deep down, he wasn’t angry at you—he was angry at himself. Because even though he wouldn’t admit it, there was a fear in him now, a fear of not being able to keep up with the younger drivers. A fear of losing that edge he had worked his whole life to perfect.
But despite all of that, there was something else on his mind, something driving him forward when his body screamed for him to give in.
He'd heard it on the radio, his voice a low rasp as he pushed back against the exhaustion. "I would’ve given up by now, but I can't. I need to do this... for them. For a few people..." For you.
When the race finally ended, Fernando was barely able to stand. His body had been pushed to its absolute limit. The pain was overwhelming, and as he dragged himself out of the car, the world around him spun. His hands were trembling, his legs unsteady, and yet it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that alarmed you. It was the look in his eyes—defeat, vulnerability, a quiet acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, you had been right.
You were there before he could take another step, rushing to his side. You didn’t need to say anything—your arms around him, the steady pressure of your embrace, spoke volumes. You could feel the weight of his body as he leaned into you, his breaths shallow, strained. His voice was barely audible when he spoke.
"I don’t know how much longer I can do this," he whispered, his words thick with exhaustion, both physical and emotional.
You didn’t hesitate. "You can," you replied softly, but firmly. "You always can. But only if you let yourself breathe sometimes, Nando."
He didn’t answer at first. His fingers clenched around your shirt, his face buried in your hair as though trying to find solace in your presence. For a moment, the roar of the crowd, the flashing lights, everything else faded away. All that mattered was you and him, the two of you in that moment, holding each other together.
You stepped back slightly to look into his eyes, the exhaustion etched deep into his features. You cupped his face gently in your hands. "You don’t have to carry it all. Not alone. Let me help you. Let me in."
He finally met your gaze, his eyes shadowed with the weight of the race, of the argument, of everything he had been bottling up. For a brief moment, you saw a flicker of regret. His voice was small, apologetic, and raw. “I was wrong, about everything. You were right. I pushed too hard today. I… I can’t keep going like this.”
A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed it down. You could see the cracks in his armor, the vulnerability he had never let anyone see before. The fight in him wasn’t gone—it had simply shifted. Now it wasn’t about winning races or proving himself to the world, it was about finding balance, finding peace.
"You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, Fernando," you whispered, your hand gently brushing his cheek. "Not to me. Not to anyone. Just… come back to me in one piece, okay?"
He nodded, a tear slipping from his eye, and for the first time in a long while, you saw the man who had been running on empty—tired, afraid, and so desperately in need of someone to hold him.
and you would always be there to do that.
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alicethenobody · 2 days ago
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Thinking about how fucking ridiculously kind Dante is.
Trish lured him to Mallet Island through manipulation which lead to him “killing” (we know Vergil survived but he didn’t) his brother but he still forgave her and offered her his kindness, empathy, and even trust and friendship. His kindness impacted Trish so much she was able to become her own person outside of Mundus’ influence. Speaking of helping people change for the better, in DMC X he fights Credo and even though this guy is out for his blood he only wants to help him change his ways and manages to convince him to do the right thing. Which I think is what lead to him protecting Nero in his last moments. The canonicity of DMC X isn’t stated but considering the fact that we know Dante was originally supposed to have a longer campaign I can’t help but think a lot of the stuff in that game is remnants of those scrapped ideas.
He very openly felt bad for Griffon when Mundus killed him despite the fact that he’s loyal to the guy who killed his family and even gave him a respectful sendoff in DMC5. Generally he’s known for roasting his opponents but he still has a level of respect for them which I think is cool. In the first novel he even laments about the people who had to die on his missions, as he despises unnecessary bloodshed even if it involves bad people and popularized showing mercy among the other mercs in the business.
In the anime he often takes on jobs for free out of the kindness of his heart and is happy just being able to help people who need it even if he’s broke. Most of the money he DOES get goes to victims of demon attacks like Grue’s daughters and Enzo who lost his arm because he feels immense guilt for not being able to do what he feels like is enough for them.
He’s shown to be very protective of the younger generation through Patty and does everything he can to shield her from seeing him fight demons because he doesn’t want her to be traumatized like he was at a young age. He does the same thing with Nero, really, trying to keep him from fighting Vergil because he believes the result will either be his nephew getting hurt or him killing his own dad and having to live with that trauma like he did after he thought he killed Vergil. The way he looks at Nero and Kyrie fondly at the end of DMC4 before leaving Fortuna, he was willing to do whatever it took in order for Nero to keep that happy life with her. (Side note, Dante grew attached to Patty like, immediately. 15 minutes in he’s like “WHERES MY DAUGHTER?!” He’s so silly like that.)
It’s nice to see Nero is following in Dante’s footsteps too. In an interview it was stated Nero only really stepped into action in DMC4 because he wanted to protect Kyrie but in DMC5 we see a much more mature Nero who cares about civilians too, my favorite example being how he offered a total stranger food because he assumed he was just hungry. Dante in DMC3 was in a somewhat similar situation, though he was obviously a lot more selfish starting off than Nero ever was until he matured by the end of the game and took on the role of humanity’s protector like Sparda. It was his journey of “waking up to justice” like his dad.
Uhh… yap over. I typed this at 3 AM.
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padfootagain · 2 days ago
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Love in Verses (XXX)
Chapter 30: ‘You liked me well enough in black; I make you a gift of these objects’
Hi! Here is a new chapter! Some shopping for our lovebirds that turns into Andrew fighting for his life…
I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!
****
Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)
Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here
Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?
Word Count: 3322
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist
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Here are my black clothes
I think now it is better to love no one than to love you. Here are my black clothes, the tired nightgowns and robes fraying in many places. Why should they hand useless as though I were going naked? You liked me well enough in black; I make you a gift of these objects. You will want to touch them with your mouth, run your fingers through the thin tender underthings and I will not need them in my new life.
Louise Glück, The First Five Book of Poems
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The tailor was posh but undoubtedly talented. Then again, it was a tailor, posh was to be expected.
It was the old type of tailor, the one you saw in movies, the type that hid a secret passage to the secret service. Wooden walls covered with wooden shelves and clothes, wooden tiles on the floor, large corduroy armchairs. You walked in feeling like you didn’t belong there, like you should never have come in the first place.
Frank spotted you instantly when you walked in. You hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks, there were times when you missed him. There were times when you didn’t think of him at all… what a strange feeling… he was always in your thoughts for years…
You wished Andrew was there with you. You wondered if his classes were going well this morning, you wanted to make him a coffee and chat instead of working…
“Y/N!” Frank beamed at you, crossing the room to give you a hug. “I’ve missed you! We’ve spent too long apart!”
“Missed you too. You look well! Are you ready to choose your suit?”
“I’m so nervous,” he admitted with an uncomfortable laugh.
“It’ll be just fine.”
You said hello to Frank’s friends and family members gathered in the shop. Only a few people, including the three best men.
The tailor came in a few minutes later, started taking care of his clients. You remained quiet while the group was splitting its attention between Frank’s suit and his best men’ clothes.
The plan was simple. You had to give him terrible advice. You had to ruin the suit, make him look ridiculous. Something that Sam would hate.
That was the only way to weaken the wedding with today’s activity.
You waited patiently, watched Frank try suits on. Every piece of garment shattered your heart.
You should have been the one discovering the suit on your wedding day. You should have been the one he talked about now, asking if you would like that colour on him, hoping you would find him handsome.
He was. He was handsome. So fucking much. You wanted to shout, to claw your eyes out of their sockets with the pain of it. He was so handsome, and you should have never been here. Instead of seeing him try on all these suits, you should have been the bride hiding her dress from him. But you weren’t. You were just the friend he was turning his attention to now, asking for an advice.
And you couldn’t do it. Couldn’t ruin this for him. You were too kind-hearted for that, or perhaps, you were simply too much in pain.
You struggled to put a smile on your face.
“I think navy blue is better than green on you.”
“You think?” he asked, looking at the two shades.
“It matches your eyes better. Makes them pop.”
He smiled, bright and excited.
Had he ever smiled like this thinking of your wedding? Of marrying you?
“Thank you, Y/N. You’re always right with those things.”
“Because I pay attention.”
Your answer held more meaning than it seemed, but he didn’t notice. He never did. Not when it was you.
And you wanted revenge now. You wanted him to regret you. You wanted him to see that you were enough, that you were always enough, that Sam wasn’t better than you… even if you didn’t really believe it. Frank had chosen Sam. Andrew had been in love with her, and now that he was starting to move on, it was to be with a woman who wasn’t you.
You excused yourself, looked for the bathroom. The moment you turned the lock on your door, the tears were let free.
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You looked so sad when you came back.
It was almost noon when you stepped in the office, Andrew had been waiting for you to eat his lunch. He didn’t have classes for the rest of the day, and neither did you. He was relieved about it, you clearly needed some help.
“How did it go?” he asked as you closed the door behind you.
You didn’t answer at first, instead you took the time to take off your coat, let yourself fall in your office chair and throw your head back towards the ceiling. You let out a dramatic moan, Andrew chuckled at the sound.
“That bad, huh? Did you make him choose something terrible to wear?”
You didn’t answer.
“Let me guess… you saw him in there, it broke your heart, but you didn’t lie and helped him look stunning for his wedding day.”
“How do you know? That’s exactly what happened.”
“I know you. You’re too kind to do something so mean and selfish. Hiding a few bottles of champagne is one thing, making your ex look like a fool on the most important day of his life is another.”
“I’m so pathetic. I feel so… pathetic…”
“You’re not. You’re just heartbroken.”
“Same bloody thing.”
“What can I do?”
You looked at him then, tears in your eyes and looking so sad… so damn sad…
But then you looked angry instead, wrath burning through your gaze and Andrew shuddered at the sight.
You looked gorgeous like this, despite your eyes reddened with tears. Fierce was a good look on you, it had always been…
“I’m going to make him regret me so fucking much he’ll beg to get me back.”
He raised an eyebrow, surprised by your determination.
“And how do we do that?”
“By making me look so fucking good he’ll have nightmares about leaving me.”
Andrew’s heart skipped a beat. His words came out in a whisper you didn’t hear.
“You’re always gorgeous, Y/N…”
“We’re going to this party they’re throwing two weeks before the wedding. So… in…”
“Two weeks.”
“Yeah… in two weeks. God, I can’t believe it’s the end of April already. Exams will be back in no time.”
“Don’t mention that…” Andrew winced. “Besides, we’ll have to go through the conference first…”
“Did you have an answer for that by the way?”
Andrew smiled.
“Main speaker on the second day. Forty-minutes presentation.”
“That’s awesome, Andy! Congrats!”
“I’m going to hate every second of it.”
“You’ll be brilliant.”
“We’ll need to rehearse your presentation too.”
“Yes, thank you for helping me.”
“Don’t mention it. We’re a team.”
You exchanged a tender smile, one that reached gratefulness for more than professional support.
“Anyway, I’m going to go shopping after work,” you declared. “I’ll buy the most gorgeous dress for that party. And Frank will be at my fucking feet.”
Andrew chuckled at that.
“Alright, good plan.”
“Actually… can I be insufferable and ask for your help?”
“Pardon me? My help? I don’t know anything about dresses…”
“You’re a man. You know what men like. Actually, you know what? We could go now. Be back before two and work this afternoon.”
“Now?”
“Now.”
“Okay…”
Andrew gathered his things in a hurry, let you babble away while you exited the office. He didn’t mention the way your voice was shaking from time to time, how your eyes still glistened with withheld tears.
He didn’t mention any of it. He merely drove you to the shop you liked.
Andrew didn’t know what to do while you browsed through expensive dresses, selected a few, asked for his opinion. He didn’t really have any. He had no idea what he was supposed to do to make you smile again, to make you happy, to make you feel as beautiful as you truly were…
You walked in a fitting room with five different dresses to try on. There weren’t many people in the shop at this hour, only an old woman with her grand-daughter were looking for a dress for the young woman. The elder lady started chatting casually with Andrew while they both waited in front of the cabins.
“Your girlfriend is looking for a dress for a special occasion?” she asked, and Andrew fiercely blushed.
“Oh… no, she’s not… we’re not… She’s not my girlfriend.”
She gave him a look, one that annoyed him a lot.
“Right… I see…”
Andrew ignored her, her grand-daughter showing her a dress the perfect excuse not to answer.
And then he heard you calling his name in a quiet voice…
His heart didn’t just skip a few beats, it stopped altogether. Butterflies didn’t cut it, these were fireworks in his stomach.
You were standing there in an emerald dress that fell across your calves, a low cut on your cleavage that made his wildest fantasies about you seem mild.
“What do you think? I like this one.”
You turned around to show him the back, or rather, the absence of clothing on the backless dress.
Andrew couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think…
You were so… so…
“How do I look?”
You were so… so…
“…Breathtaking.”
You blinked up at him. And he tried to hide his reaction, but he couldn’t. He must have looked stunned, a deer in headlights, and he couldn’t help it. You were so…
“…Perfect.”
You raised a surprised eyebrow, a shy smile forming on your lips.
He wanted to kiss you so badly. He wanted to touch the skin of your back the dress revealed. He wanted to run his fingers along your cleavage. He wanted to tear that gorgeous dress off you…
He cleared his throat, averted his eyes so he would stop staring at you.
“Yeah… that’s… a good one.”
“I have another I like, hang on.”
He nodded, unable to look at you. He could feel warmth spreading through his body, but he would never survive the humiliation of getting a boner in the middle of a shop because you were trying dresses on…
“Not your girlfriend, huh?”
Andrew turned to the stranger, the old woman giving him a knowing smile.
“You’d better make her your girlfriend, before it’s too late.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No, of course not.”
She heaved a sigh, looking at the closed curtain of the fitting room where her grand-daughter had disappeared.
“My husband looked at me like that, you know? The way you look at her. And I can only hope my grand-child will find someone who will look at her like that, too.”
“Like what?”
“Like she is the most beautiful thing on this earth.”
She stared right into his eyes.
“The way you must be looked at when you are loved.”
Andrew struggled to swallow, looked away, fiercely blushing.
Christ, he was a desperate case. And if a stranger could notice his feelings for you, surely everyone had… what would you say if you noticed? Would you push him away? Would you break his heart?
You walked out of your cabin again, wearing a black dress this time. And Andrew tried to hide it better this time, but you looked divine. It fitted your curves perfectly, it made your body look like sin…
“What about this one?” you asked, turning around, and Andrew hated himself for being unable to stop himself from staring at your arse.
“Yeah… that’s a good one too,” he nodded, clearing his throat.
“Which one do you prefer?”
“I… I don’t know…”
“Come on! I like both. I don’t know which one to pick. What’s your favourite?”
He struggled to control his breathing, to slow down his heart.
“I… erm… I really liked the green one.”
“The green one?”
“Yeah, it… you’re gorgeous in this dress too though.”
He heard you clearing your throat too.
“Right… the green dress it is, then.”
“Yeah… okay… grand… erm, like… good…”
“Thanks, Andy.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Christ, please, don’t mention it…
“I’ll get changed real quick.”
He hummed as he nodded, still unable to look at you.
By his side, the elderly lady chuckled, and Andrew wanted to dissolve into nothing, a puddle on the ground, to simply be atomised into thin air…
You bought the dress, Andrew drove you back to Trinity in relative silence. He was too busy picturing you in these dresses again, too busy trying not to picture you in these dresses again.
When you walked back to your office though, it was obvious that you were still sad. That search for a semblance of power over a situation you couldn’t control was gone again. He let out a long exhale through his nose as he looked at you sitting behind your desk. He crossed the room, avoiding the lamp hanging from the ceiling, and gave you a soft smile.
“You’re alright, Y/N?”
You shook your head.
“I’m sorry… I just… I can’t get over it.”
“It’s okay. You’re upset, that’s all.”
“Seeing him like this… wearing these suits… he should have been wearing them for me…”
“I know. I know, Y/N.”
“I want my life back.”
“But you have one. You have one now. You don’t need him in it.”
“I feel like I need him. I feel like I… like I just messed everything up.”
“You didn’t. You didn’t mess anything up. None of this is your fault.”
“If he chose her, then I must be lacking something…”
“You’re not. Trust me, you’re not lacking anything. It’s his loss if he can’t see what’s right in front of him.”
You looked up at him, surprised by the sudden harshness of his tone.
“You don’t need him, Y/N… you… you could have better than him. You… he’s not… He’s not even paying attention to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“He doesn’t really care. I think he’s a little too selfish for that.”
He shook his head.
“I see you with him, you know? You’re not yourself. You’re not… babbling away about cinema, or literature, or art or this recipe you’ve just tried or… it’s like you just shut down. And you listen, and then you make a tiny summary of all the things you wanted to say… but you’re so fucking smart. You’re so fucking interesting. You’re… you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t care about what you have to say. And he fucking broke your heart! Why do you still want him? Why…?”
Why do you still want him, instead of me?
But he didn’t say it. He stopped, and closed his fists tightly.
Andrew was growing annoyed, angry even. And of course you noticed, he reckoned he was doing a pretty bad job at hiding his true feelings.
“Y/N… Frank… I’m not saying he’s a bad person, but…”
“But?”
“But he doesn’t deserve you.”
You raised an eyebrow, visibly unimpressed.
“Really? Why not? It’s not like I’m anything special, anyway.”
Andrew frowned hard.
“Are you listening to yourself?!” he asked with something aghast in his voice, a genuine incomprehension that surprised you. “You’re… you’re amazing. You deserve so much better than him! You deserve to be treated with respect, to have someone who actually pays attention to you, who cares about you, who listens to you when you’re talking about your passions, who’s not going to disregard what you’re saying simply because they disagree…”
But you interrupted him with a scoff.
“Perfection doesn’t exist, Andy. I’ve learned as much in life. I don’t have a choice but to settle for less than that.”
“There’s a difference between accepting someone’s faults and flaws and setting the bar so low it’s actually buried underground…”
“You’re one to talk! You’re still in love with Samantha despite how she hurt you, despite the fact that she doesn’t give two shites about your poetry or your work, about the fact that she won’t make a single fucking effort for you…”
“Who says I’m still in love with her?”
You raised a surprised eyebrow, and you were genuinely taken aback this time, Andrew could tell.
“You’re not?” you asked, your tone quieter, Andrew guessed that it was a side-effect of your surprise.
“No, I’m not. I’ve learnt my lesson. I want to move on. I… I’m moving on.”
“Wow… that’s… good… That’s really grand, Andy. Is it… because of that woman you mentioned?”
Andrew’s heart sped up, he could feel himself panicking, he closed and opened his fists multiple times in an attempt to slow down his breathing.
“I… I mean… kind of…”
“Kind of?”
“I…”
He took a deep breath, gathering his courage.
“I want to be with her. I… I just… I haven’t told her yet.”
“Why not? You should ask her on a date.”
But he shook his head.
“She won’t say yes. I know her, she won’t go on a date with me, not for now. Besides… It’s too soon… for me too, I mean. I need to put Sam behind me for good, before I can try to be with her.”
You stared at him with a blank expression… or rather, not blank. The opposite. Like you felt something but tried to show the opposite reaction. The result was unreadable to him.
“I’m glad you’re moving on.”
But your tone was flat, and you didn’t seem happy at all.
“Thanks,” Andrew answered anyway.
You heaved a tired sigh.
“Please, don’t judge me with Frank. I… you don’t understand.”
Andrew sighed too, let the air out through gritted teeth.
“No, you’re right. I don’t understand. I mean… I do. I do understand the process of grieving for a life that wasn’t fully yours to begin with, but you thought would belong to you. But that’s the thing, Y/N. You need to start grieving now. You can’t remain stuck there forever. You… You deserve to be happy. You deserve better than that. Don’t do that to yourself. Especially not for someone like him. We deserve better than this, Y/N.”
You stared at him now, tears in your eyes, a sight he wished he could banish forever. He would take all of your pain away if he could, he would suffer it in your stead.
“It’s not that easy, Andy,” you shook your head, taking a step back.
“It could be. It could be, Y/N…”
“I’ve loved him for so long…”
Andrew slowly nodded.
“You could love again, with a little bit of time. He… he doesn’t care about you, Y/N. He doesn’t… listen when you talk. He acts like he does, but he doesn’t. He’s not interested in what makes you happy…”
“Neither is Sam with you.”
“I know. I know, and I don’t want that anymore.”
“But I want Frank.”
Your voice was shaking, it didn’t sound either earnest nor convincing. Still, hearing the words broke Andrew’s heart.
After everything… how could you still want Frank… why couldn’t you want him instead?
Could you… could you ever want him?
Andrew closed his fists tightly, until he could feel the sharp pain of his nails digging crescent marks into his palm. Perhaps you would never want him. Maybe it wasn’t just about Frank, maybe it was about him… maybe he was simply… not your type, not attractive to you, not good enough.
He let out a long, painful exhale through his nose.
“Would that make you happy?” he genuinely asked, voice quiet, deeper than usual, but softer than before as well. “Is that what will make you happy?”
You stared at him for a moment, then clenched your jaw. When you answered, he couldn’t read in your eyes whether or not you were telling the truth. Maybe you were lying… against all odds, he hoped you were lying.
“Yes.”
One word, breathed out, it was enough to break his heart.
Slowly, Andrew nodded.
“Alright, we’ll do it then. We’ll go to that stupid party. We’ll make him jealous. We’ll make him see what he’s losing by choosing Sam over you. If it’s what it takes for you to be happy… As long as it makes you happy.”
“Thank you.”
He stared at you as you walked back to your desk, sat before your computer, looked at the screen.
He turned around, blinking tears away, stood in front of the window behind his desk.
As long as it would make you happy…
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postcardsfromheapside · 2 days ago
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"Bellara would be a better partner for Neve than Lucanis, because she'd bring joy into Neve's life-"
[insert the BIGGEST Cassandra Pentaghast UGH you can imagine]
First of all: Why is Lucanis incapable of providing joy. The man is funny as fuck, cooks, knits, probably loves more animals than just wyverns, clearly is capable of putting up with ridiculous family and loving them anyway, and loves his friends a normal amount. His first trip upon gaining freedom is to go buy presents for everyone. Please get over yourselves.
Second: Bellara idolizes Neve. She almost isn't a real person to Bel for much of the beginning of the game, and that makes Neve uncomfortable. Neve corrects Bel several times, though she's gentle and kind about it (as she is with everyone). Neve regularly sees things that would demoralize most people, and continues to do her job anyway. She compartmentalizes. It's not that she lacks the ability to enjoy life, or perceive joy. But I don't think she'd enjoy having someone by her side who was endlessly disappointed by the kinds of jobs she takes. She enjoys making people happy, not bringing them down.
If you want to headcanon the two of them getting together for adorable reasons, no one can stop you, but the posts I've seen arguing this fact have once again all come about because people are very uncomfortable with Neve/Lucanis and I can't believe we all have to spend so much time defending this *possible* canon pairing all because you're worried about her "coming for your man" while romancing him.
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snottly · 2 days ago
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all i’m saying is- Logan and Wade both have raging PTSD, trauma, dealt with incredible loss, where in the military, and have been given shit ass cards in life. Both have expressed just wanting to experience happiness but are treated like weapons/destructive and unable to keep people in their lives due to that.
So of course when they finally get together and realise they are actually truly stuck with one another, and neither can die/be physically hurt they are just gonna settle down together forever. Because what’s better than another unkillable immortal than one that has also been through the same terrible fucked up shit and can actually relate to it all.
When they finally come to the mutual decision to give up the life of killing and destruction they retire and leave the city to settle down in a small woodsy town, probably south but still within reasonable driving distance of the X-mansion and Al. they get married and just go full throttle domestic, small little house with a garden and big back yard; just them and Mary.
Everyone in the town is familiar with them, even though they seem a little off, but they do all their shopping at the local markets and are always friendly and willing to do any grunt work/help out neighbours and the community. Although they do relatively stick to themselves most of the time.
They would also both definitely get soft, Logan would still jog in the mornings and has a little at home gym in their garage he’d work out in mainly to blow off steam, but he has a little tummy now and doesn’t look like he’s dehydrated and withering away. Wade definitely wouldn’t give a shit and is just happy he doesn’t have to work anymore and has his domestic family life he always wanted so he’s more indulgent and a little lazy so he gets Chunky. but Logan loves it because it’s just representative of their retirement and the softness of their life now.
I also imagine they go back home for the holidays for the first time in a bit, and everyone is a little shocked at first bc they look so different, not just physically but the happiness just radiates off of them and everything about them is so warm and inviting. Ness sees Wade for the first time and almost bursts into tears because of how happy and content he finally is after all shit he’s been through.
basically domestic poolverine is the best that is all
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curtins · 17 hours ago
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do you think toji and/or sukuna are into looksmaxxing. i need to know.
choso is probably near to tears just thinking about it - he's having a hard time adjusting to all these new trends anyways, wdym there's a whole section of it now?
i feel like gojo just flexes his "natural" looks, nanami doesn't even know he has them until someone comments on your post saying "you won/we're so back."
omg hellaurrr i really pulled out a notebook to jot these down (this isn't even a joke, my keyboard was messing with me but i was worried i'd forget to answer properly) but now i may transcribe my notes on jjk + looksmaxxing 😭 🤭 u always send me the funniest things
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gojo once found a wrinkle on his forehead and cancelled class for the day. now he sleeps with a cucumber and a jade roller. when he gets drunk, he claims that a kpop idol dm'ed him for advice on clear skin, never says who though (#liar) and in high school he used a self tanner once because suguru once likened him to an overgrown, pale musty mushroom. ended up with orange streaks everywhere. does pilates but will never admit it. wishes that in another life he was an influencer just so someone would send him pr packages because its nice to get presents in a box. definitely calls himself an icon.
geto thinks essential oils are a part of looksmaxxing so he feels better on the inside. literally floats around like a walking bottle of sandalwood and lavender. tried growing facial hair because he thought it would be great to accentuate his jawline, but someone called him a discount samurai and he had to cancel the cult meeting that day. thinks looksmaxxing isn't just physical but also a state of mind, so he carries around books like crime and punishment to look smart. thought that wearing glasses would make him look smarter and had a phase where he wore fake ones and not one person complimented them.
sukuna secretly has a stash of protein powder. it goes in everything, smoothies and sprinkled over raw meat. says that he doesn't give a flying fuck about these things, but used to read old, ancient scrolls about medieval skincare. got uraume to make him a scrub from red spider lilies and wondered why his skin was burning sooo bad afterwards. sharpens his nail with blades and claims its better than just normally clipping your nails, but he always ends up scratching himself bad. has a collection of sheet masks. has the best eyebrows of all time and knows this (gets them plucked). has an anonymous #hater tiktok account where he comments rude things under gojo's posts.
nanami. you are soooo right, he probably doesn't know or give a fuck about these things because he's actually employed. but hates the idea of a ten step skincare routine for he thinks that the best routine is simple: cleanser + moisturiser + sunscreen. believes in the power of a neutral toned wardrobe with clean, tailored silhouettes. but there are photos of him out there from when he was 18 years old, with black eyeliner on his waterline. shoots down everyone's ridiculous looksmaxxing attempts. jawline exercises? just chew your food properly. botox and fillers? try eight hours of sleep before reaching for the needles. want to post a glow up journey? well, just focus on yourself and move in silence. kind of gojo's biggest opp for all this, and being so clean and put together effortlessly...
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