#i do think markiplier is hot but i still have no idea what his deal is and i don't care to learn

[alienheartattack]

It's very funny to me when social media blows up with Youtuber drama because I have absolutely no idea who any of these people are. Youtube came out when I was halfway through college and for me has always been a random video site, I do not have the time or inclination to watch some rando with Annoying Youtube Voice read a plagiarized Wikipedia article for 90 minutes

Just trying to enjoy my boomer moments rather than getting upset about getting old 🤷🏻‍♀️

[captainmazzic]

Happy Halloween.

So it’s about time I gave a real fucking update instead of just dicking around being cagey about shit. I’ve mentioned a new project repeatedly. So let’s sit down and actually talk about it, friends. Pull up a chair, grab yourself some hot cocoa and strap in. Welcome to Sarc’s emotional roller coaster.

Bear with me. This is hard to talk about for so many reasons, but mostly because I’ve been belittled and ridiculed so many times in my life for liking “cringy” things or wanting to do things that other people think are stupid or childish. I hear the voice of my father telling me to “make something of my life” and “don’t squander your talents”, I hear the voice of my mother telling me I have “so much potential” and “one day I hope you get some ambition”, I hear the voice of my ex telling me to “stop wasting time with stupid shit” and “nobody is interested in failures”. I hear old teachers telling me honor roll students should go to college and study high-demand majors and anything else would be lazy and detrimental and won’t contribute anything worthwhile to society.

It’s the same shit that prevented me for a long time from posting art online. From posting writing online. From making ocs and showing them to other people. And now it’s preventing me from starting this project, and I’m so, so tired of it.

My biggest fear right now is that once I start talking about this project I’ll lose this tiny little community of people vaguely interested in my stuff that have somehow stuck around. External validation and sharing the things I love are my primary motivations with everything I do online, and while screaming into the void is all well and good, I need feedback and interaction and community. I need it so, so badly. I wouldn’t post jack shit – ever – if I didn’t need that, to be honest.

So anyway.

When the pandemic kicked into high gear earlier this year I got laid off for a few months. It gave me a lot of time to think about who I am and where I wanted to be in life, what mattered to me, what dreams I still had and which ones had fallen by the wayside.

Some of them are huge – once upon a time I was very religious. I went through seminary, got my minister’s certification, and was slated to be an associate pastor in a mega-church and rake in a six-figure income within 3 years. But I lost my faith and couldn’t stand the idea of being disingenuous.

And there was also a time when I received a full-ride scholarship to a very prestigious university that would have spanned a 12-year program and resulted in me having several doctorates and masters degrees by the end of it, in the fields of geology, palaeontology, and cladistics. But the scholarship program that was supposed to sponsor me went bankrupt the very semester I was supposed to capitalize on it. I was still accepted into the school, but the $1.2 million price tag would have all been out of my own pocket. So obviously that didn’t happen.

Those were the “acceptable” dreams. Those were the ones that parents and teachers and the general outside world approved of and thought were worthy goals. But neither of them panned out, and all I have left are the cringy ones. Like homesteading and sustainable living (can’t start without land, can’t have land without money). Like making comic books and doing art commissions for a living (it has to be steady to support myself, and I’m far too slow an artist for things to be steady). And like… playing video games.

Ha.

What’s funny is I can already envision the eyerolls and hear the snorts of laughter. What kind of dream is that? Only a handful of famous youtubers and twitch celebrities play video games for a living, and breaking into a field like that is pretty much impossible unless you already have friends in famous places.

Yeah, but… it would be so much fun. Right?

It WOULD be fun. I don’t have to become a super popular celebrity for it to be fun, right?

I don’t have to make it my day job and rake in piles of cash for it to be fun, right?

… I don’t have to actually be successful for it to be fun… right?

… Right?

:/

… I love video games.

I’ve loved them ever since I tried and failed so many times to win The Empire Strikes Back on Atari 2600. I’ve loved them ever since I played Mortal Kombat with my cousin in his basement with the sound down super low because it was ultra-violent and I would have been in so much trouble if mom caught me playing it. I’ve loved them ever since I tried and failed to finish Strife and Hexen and Heretic without the computer crashing and rebooting to DOS. I’ve loved them ever since I had to cheat-code my way through Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II just to get past the first boss fight but then no-clipped through the wall and died anyway. I still love that game.

But I stopped playing video games for a very long time. I was intimidated out of them by an ex and a somewhat toxic friend group who were Real Gamers™. I was brought to LAN parties but not allowed to play, because I slowed down the team and didn’t know the controls. I was banned from commenting on other people’s moves or cheering people on because it was distracting and I could cost them a win. I was even kicked out of their online D&D campaigns because I couldn’t be serious enough or roleplay well enough for their standards. Even if I was playing a game on my own, I couldn’t play with anyone else in the house because I’d be ridiculed for dying a lot, or for going the wrong way, or for picking the wrong game because only certain games are “good” and most of the ones I wanted to play were “stupid” or “trash” or a “waste of time”.

That kind of thing sits with me for a very, very long time. I didn’t really play games at all for over a decade. Even after I ended up on the opposite side of the country, with a new circle of friends, I couldn’t bring myself to play much of anything.

And then I had an extended visit with a friend of mine, and he introduced me to an early version of a ridiculous little game called Minecraft. My friend was an avid gamer but also a very kind one. In the ten years before this, I had told myself that I just preferred to watch other people play games instead of playing them myself (a lie. I mean, I absolutely adore watching other people play, but I also want to play too lol), my friend saw through that and very gently encouraged me to take a stab at playing Minecraft myself. He moved his laptop over to me, and I played a whole ten minutes with him watching before my nerves failed me and I promptly died. But miraculously it wasn’t a big deal to him. It was just a game. I might have cried in relief, I don’t remember.

After my visit I shelved playing video games for like another year, despite buying a whole mess of them because other friends online loved certain titles and wanted to talk about them with me. (I never played them, just bought them. I couldn’t even handle the thought of playing by myself in my own house). But for some reason I mentioned to my brother-in-law my old visit to my Minecraft-loving friend, and he just… up and bought the game for me. My brother-in-law is also an avid gamer with a lovely and patient disposition, and he suggested I just play in creative mode and build things to start. So I did that (behind a locked door in the RV that I lived in by myself, with the lights off and the sound down low) and Minecraft was my sole video game for another several years.

Then a couple years ago another friend of mine (hi Char) introduced me to Star Wars: The Old Republic, and I fell in love. It sparked a renewed interest in video games that I thought I would never really have the opportunity to satisfy, because games were still intimidating.

Let me clarify: I… SUCK. At video games. I’m terrible at them. Learning controls is a nightmare and a tunicate evolving its own brain would learn faster than me. If I’m aiming, I can’t hit the broad side of a barn. I have the direction sense of a whirligig beetle on the back of a drunk pigeon. I die fast and I die often. I can count the number of games I’ve actually finished on one hand. Even less if we don’t count the ones I had to use cheat codes to get through. But none of that diminishes my love of experiencing them, and over this whole pandemic and quarantine thing I’ve had a lot of time to unpack and mull over my thoughts and feelings and passions about them.

… I moved my RV to a new spot literally the day before the lockdown in my state first initiated. Before this I was in a spot that had no internet other than what reception I could get on my phone, with severely limited bandwidth and patchy, unreliable service. The new spot has a steady wi-fi connection, and while upload speed is utter shit, downloading and streaming video are just this side of manageable. So I spent the first three months of the quarantine lockdown doing pretty much nothing other than watching Jacksepticeye, CrankGameplays, and Markiplier play video games on YouTube. (I honestly had no idea before this that people even did let’s plays. My internet access/speed has been shit for so long I’m totally out of the loop).

It… for fear of sounding utterly stupid yet again, it inspired me.

Like. These people really love what they’re doing. They just. Play video games and have fun with it, and I mean yeah they make money hand-over-fist doing it but the main thing is they HAVE FUN doing it. They have fun! Playing video games! In front of people! It’s wild. And the thing that REALLY got me was… they have feedback on it too. They have a COMMUNITY. They have people they can talk to about it. They have people that they can play games WITH, even, who don’t yell at them or tell them they suck every five minutes or tell them they can’t play with them because they’re worthless as teammates. They can fuck up in a game and their friends are laughing along with them on Discord instead of screaming at them to get it right or get out. They can play games by themselves in their house and then upload videos on the internet and then they can talk to other people about it! They have fun! It’s awesome! They have fun!!

I just. It meant so much to me. It meant so much to me to see these videos of these three, and then another dozen or so that I’ve followed since, play all these games and have such a good time and also be such a positive and kind and encouraging source of energy.

I know all of this is not exactly about video games specifically. It’s about coming to terms with how I’ve been treated as a person and as a friend, about how other people respect someone’s interests and passions, about how it’s okay to share your interests with other people and it’s okay to like things that other people might not care about or think are important.

And I’m so, so tired of not doing the things I love because I’m afraid of what other people will think.

So I, uh. I invested all of the stimulus money I had into a new rig and equipment like a camera, lighting, acoustic panels, all that shit. I dug out all the games I bought but never played, I made accounts on all the big gaming services like Steam and Itch.io and GoG, and I made a YouTube channel. And I’m going to be making my own let’s plays. And it will suck, and it will be cringy and awkward and badly done, and it won’t make me money or be a valid career option or be anything but another very expensive hobby, but it will be mine, and it will be something I can share with people and (hopefully) have fun with, and it will (hopefully) be an avenue for some of this positive social interaction I’m craving.

I know YouTube can be toxic and super negative and full of trolls and cancel culture fanatics and people just waiting to find something to tear you down for, but like. Come on, y’all. I’m posting this on tumblr dot com. Toxic is everywhere anyway. I just want to try, you know?

I just want to love video games again.

Someone famous that I look up to so, so much told me – without knowing that I was even listening, without even knowing that I even exist – that if I enjoy doing something, to just go for it. To just jump in and do it, and if it works then it works, and if it doesn’t, what have I actually lost?

And I’m lucky enough to have four whole offline friends that I’ve mentioned this idea to, and each of them has said encouraging things like I’d have a good voice and face and style for making let’s plays. I honestly don’t know how true that part is, but on my good days I believe them. And they also said that I should go for it, to just try.

So that’s… that’s what I’m doing, I guess. I just want to try.

I know it’s not Star Wars fanart. I know it’s not Star Wars fanfiction. I know it’s not Star Wars meta or essays or ranting about the Sith and the Jedi and the Force. I know it’s not what y’all want from me. And that’s utterly terrifying. I’m bracing myself to be alone on the internet again, because I know that when I dive headfirst into this thing, it’ll eat away into the time that I normally might be spending doing writing or art, and it’s going to be something no one else wants to see and no one signed up for. And that’s partly why it’s taken me so very, very long to get started.

The other part is more physical. Of course as soon as I decide that I’m going to put my face on a camera is when my entire face goes to shit. I’m currently waiting on a potential diagnosis for mouth cancer, while already dealing with a severe jaw infection that’s causing my teeth and gums to rot inside my mouth. They already took part of my jaw, I’m missing teeth, others are turning black, if I open my mouth even just a little it is so obvious and I look like a very, very literal zombie. I have never been more grateful that masks are socially acceptable. I have a series of twelve appointments scheduled to treat this shit now that I have dental and health insurance (goodbye paycheque), and I might qualify for reconstruction surgery too. But that doesn’t really help how I look right now.

So I just can’t bring myself to start this project just yet. I’ve been sitting on it for months now with all the other pieces in place, but I just. Can’t. Start. It’s driving me crazy, because I want to start so badly. I feel like I’m wasting time. I feel like I’ve already wasted so much time, because I haven’t even done anything else in the meantime. I haven’t done hardly any art or fanfic, nothing. My anxiety is spiking so high right now because I have all these expectations of myself, but I can’t do anything about it. I’ve been told that I could just start without a camera or wear a mask on screen, and I’ve actually done some recording doing exactly that, but I just… can’t seem to make anything I want to finalize.

It’s also frustrating because I have no way of uploading anything at home. I’ll have to go over to my partner’s house which is nearly an hour’s drive away in order to get internet good enough to upload videos, which means that upload schedules are going to be shiiiiiit and that’s also frustrating.

But. But. BUT. I want to do this.

I want to do this so badly. I want to share let’s plays and experience a love of video games with other people. I want to actually play games with other people too. I also just acquired a piano keyboard, and I want to play again on the regular because I miss it so much. I used to play piano for hours every single day, it’s so relaxing and fun, maybe I can post that too. Maybe I can post let’s draws or something, where I ask y’all what to draw and then make a video of me drawing it while bullshitting to the camera I don’t know it sounds like fun. Maybe I can post videos of my cooking because the shit I make seems to be everyone’s favourite thing on instagram, and maybe I can take my camera with me when I go to the ocean or hike up into the middle of nowhere in the mountains and film how beautiful everything is up there. Or maybe I can do none of that and just focus on one thing, I honestly have no idea what I’m doing or how to do it, but I just… I want to try. I just want to try.

I don’t know where any of this is going anymore. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to messages, or opened up commissions. I’m sorry that this isn’t what y’all wanted. I’m still going to continue drawing and writing, I’m still going to be around, I’m not going anywhere, but I have no idea how prolific I’m going to be and I have no idea even when I’ll start uploading videos, to be honest. But I just. I’m just gonna try. It might still take me a while but I’m gonna try. Wish me luck. I love y’all.

[yukipage]

Antithesis: Chapter 3 (Darkiplier/Reader)

Characters: Darkiplier, Reader.

Summary: A stroll through the city and lunch with a madman; what could go wrong?

Ahtor's Note: Thank you to all of you who have read this so far. This is something that I am passionate about and it means a lot to me that other people enjoy it as well. :)

Hot water from the showerhead runs down your back as you peer through the small, steam-filled bathroom. You are clean, finally, after spending so much time in the same clothes. You don’t want to get out of the shower, though. It's so relaxing and peaceful under the water, making it easy to pretend that nothing had happened. All you have to do is close your eyes and stay under the cascading liquid; let it wash all of the bad memories away. Then a small pinprick of alarm breaks through your reverie. What if he gets mad that you are taking so long? Regretfully, you turn off the faucet. The water slows to a drip, drip, drip, then stops.

You step out onto the bathroom mat and rub your hair vigorously with the large towel that is on the rack. After drying the rest of your body, you wrap the towel around you and open the door. The cooler air of the bedroom hits you like a tidal wave. You shiver. You quickly dress in the underclothes that you had laid out before. You wonder what clothes were in the dresser that Darkiplier had provided you with. Opening the drawer, you rifle through the various shirts, pants, and skirts. You choose a modest, green v-neck tshirt and a simple, long black skirt with ruffles on the hem. Surprisingly, both items fit you well enough. You brush your teeth (with a toothbrush from a brand new, never-been-opened package), brush your hair (the brush was from a package as well), and tie your hair into a neat bun.

Squinting at yourself in the mirror, you sigh. Without any makeup, this will have to do. Who was there to impress anyway? Certainly not that bipolar psychopath. You give your reflection a pained grin, remembering the move he tried to make on you. Welp, here we go. You gather up your courage and open the door to the hallway. You once more walk through the dim corridor and down the stairs into the parlor. Darkiplier is sitting and reading his book again. It’s like deja vu; this time, however, you are more prepared to deal with him. When you enter the room, Dark puts his book down and stands up. “Are we ready to go?” he says. His gaze holds a certain intensity, as always. You wither slightly beneath his stare.

“Well, I.... Um.” You look down at your bare feet peeking out from under your skirt. “I don’t have any shoes.” You wiggle your toes on the frigid bare floor.

“Ah. That can be easily remedied.” Dark vanishes. You release a sigh and glance around the room. Being in his presence always causes you so much anxiety. You don't know if you would ever get used to it. He reappears again and you flinch a little. You don’t know if you will ever get used to his… teleportation or whatever the heck he does, either. Dark holds out a pair of flats to you.

You take them and slip them on your feet. You quietly ask, “How do you do that? I mean, disappearing and reappearing.”

“I am not bound by the laws of your world. Many things that a human cannot do, I can do as I please.” His eyes rest on you again and he offers his arm to you. “Shall we?” Cautiously, you loop your arm through his. The room suddenly darkens; creaking sounds and a slight ringing echo through the blackness. You feel like your body is in motion, but you are standing in place. You almost fall over from the force of the motion; you clutch Darkiplier’s arm tighter to steady yourself. Then, the movement stops and the world fades into existence again. You and Dark are standing in an alleyway. You hear the hustle and bustle of cars, and can see people walking past the entrance of the dark passageway. You breathe a sigh a relief at the sight of other humans. Dark leads you out onto the sidewalk and you join the throng of people. You are in downtown Los Angeles; tall buildings and restaurants of all kinds surround you amid the flurry of people.

You glance up at Dark as you walk. He almost looks normal, like Mark would have. You could hardly see the red in his eyes in the bright sun. He senses your eyes on him and gazes back at you. Quickly, you look away. You focus on your shoes. “Where would you like to eat? The price does not matter at all,” he says; you can sense the arrogance emanating from him.

You are almost tempted to say McDonald's, just to spite him. You resist the urge. “I don’t really know. I’ve never been to this part of the city before,” you admit. You look around and point to a fancy-looking establishment across the street. “How about there?”

“As you wish.” You start across the street together at the crosswalk. A hand reaches out and taps Dark on the shoulder. He turns, with you in tow, to see a boy of about twelve or thirteen years staring up at him. The boy has a wide grin on his face and his eyes are filled with excitement.

“You’re Markiplier! I’m a huge fan of yours!” he exclaims. He is practically vibrating with happiness. Dark’s change in demeanor is astonishing. A big, goofy grin stretches across his face and his whole body seems more relaxed.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you. But how about we get out of the street first.” The boy nods and follows you and Dark to the sidewalk. He’s chattering to Dark the whole way. You barely hear anything the two are saying as your thoughts race. Is Darkiplier that good at pretending? Everything about him seems to be like Mark; his voice, his inflection, even his body language.

“Who are you, by the way?” The fan’s voice tears you from your musings.

You force a smile for the sake of the child. He seems so innocent; he has no idea who he is dealing with and you don’t want to cause him harm. “I’m just a friend. We’re having lunch together.”

“Ooo, are you on a daaate?” The kid shoots both of you a mischievous smile.

You speak quickly before Dark can interject anything. “Oh no. We are just friends. Mark’s dating Amy, remember?” A realization strikes you. Where is Amy? What did Dark do with her? You glance over at Dark, and from the look he gives you, you can tell that he sees the wheels turning in your brain.

Dark laughs, a jovial sound. “Yeah, Amy and I are dating. But, she’s out of town right now. My friend and I are planning to meet up with some other people and get a bite to eat.”

“Oh.” The boy seems satisfied with this explanation. He looks over his shoulder at a woman shouting from the other side of the road. “Well that’s my mom. I’ve got to go. It was nice meeting both of you!” With one last wave, he scurries away. Dark’s posture stiffens and his hands clench slightly. He pops his necks. You once again feel the intense aura radiating from him.

“Shall we continue?” He gestures to the restaurant in from of you. You nod your head slowly and Dark holds open the door. “After you.” While he speaks to the hostess, you try to fit more pieces together in your head of who Dark is. Knowing he can imitate Mark so well makes you even more afraid of him. It also turns your stomach sour. Lying, manipulation. You hate everything about him. You are seated at your table and the waitress leaves you some menus, with a promise to return for both of your orders. You look at Dark. He seems focused on his menu. “So,” you say, and gulp. “Where is Amy, really?” You surprise yourself with your own forwardness.

“She is as I said; away on a trip. How fortunate for her.” Dark closes his menu and rest his hands on the table. “I do not know what I am going to do with her when she gets back.” Dark cocks his head to the side and stares into space. “Hmm. Maybe I’ll masquerade as Mark again for her. You would have to be out of sight, of course.” The waitress arriving with glasses of water breaks his concentration. “I will think of something when the time comes.”

You both place your orders and the waitress relieves you of your menus. After she leaves, Dark reaches over the table and takes your hand. You try feebly to pull away, but you know that it’s futile. “Of course, she would never replace you. At the moment, you are my favorite human being.” He gently rubs his thumb over your knuckles. Your hearts rate shoots up and you try to calm yourself. It’s ok, it’s fine, everything is going to be ok. He’s still looking upon you fiercely. You take a deep breath and manage to yank your hand away. The table rattles slightly as you shove your hands in your lap. Dark chuckles, a deep menacing rumble. “There you are; quietly brave when you clearly are terrified of me. You have enough courage to resist me and enough intelligence to do so without going too far, besides a few mistakes in the beginning.” He laughs again. “I see right through you, my dear.”

Suddenly, the humor disappears from his face. “Just remember, my dear, that there are beings far crueler than I that exist. Your little strategy will not work on everyone.” It was as if he knew what was about to happen. Without warning, all of the color drains from the room and everyone is frozen in place. It’s like looking at an old black and white movie that's paused. Darkiplier and you are the only ones who can move. You eyeball all of the still customers, while Dark sits in silence with a disgusted look on his face. You turn back to him and are surprised to see slight panic in his eyes. Before you can ask what’s going on, a gaping hole opens above your table. Out of the inky blackness comes a blustering wind and a mocking voice that startles you.

“Hey, hey, hey! How’re ya doin’, Darkimoo? You enjoying your date with your little pet?” The disembodied voice is distorted slightly, and has the ironic frivolity of an insane person. Napkins whip everywhere in the whirlwind, forming a mini-tornado around the table. “Sorry to ruin your good time; I just was in the neighborhood and decided to pop by to see if you were holding up your end of the deal. I only count… let me see here… I only count one condition met. Of course you’d achieve the one that you liked. But, you know, when I helped you to take over Markimoo’s body full time, it wasn’t for free or just for your… needs.”

“I will bring him!” Dark shouts furiously through the wind. He grimaces and grasps the lapels of his suit jacket. “I promised I would hold up my end of the deal! Now leave us!” Dark’s head jerks to the side.

“Ok, ok. You got it. I’ll leave you two lovebirds to make out or whatever.” The voice giggles. “But he better be here next time I come to call or baaad things will happen. Ok, that’s it, I’m off, I’m gone, byyye,” the voice says in a singsong way and the hole shuts with a snap.

Everything is quiet. The napkins flutter softly to the ground. Then the spell is broken and the restaurant once again fills with color and life. Nothing has changed, except for the expression of rage on Darkiplier’s face and the expression of shock on yours. Only one inkling of a thought can make itself heard in your stupefied brain. It bounces around a bit until it finally comes to fruition: who was “he?”

|Ao3| |Chapter 1| |Chapter 2| |Chapter 4| |Chapter 5| |Chapter 6| |Chapter 7| |Chapter 8| |Chapter 9| |Chapter 10| |Chapter 11| |Chapter 12| |Chapter 13| |Chapter 14| |Chapter 15|

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #119

“she’s the type who likes to leave on all the lights.”

Are you friends with any bands?  No. How do you deal with oppressive heat?  Act like I'm dying because I probably slowly am. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? Remembering something. What about something they definitely can count on you for?  An open ear. What’s one food that you want to try but haven’t yet?  Hmmmm... I know there's some, just nothing's coming to me. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do?  I ignore it.  I don't check through windows or anything in fear of the person seeing me.  If you're coming to my house, let me know. Let’s say you received a gift from someone and open it in front of them – and it’s something you absolutely hate. How do you react?  Thank them anyway and act appreciative towards the kindness.  I usually won't actually say "I like it" unless they ask. If a friend suggested that you two were to do something/go somewhere, and you really didn’t want to, would you be more likely to just go along with it anyway or speak up? If I really didn't want to and we were close, I'd say no. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo.  I was strictly anti-war beforehand, but that book turned me into a full-blown pacifist. What type of movies do you get into the easiest? Paranormal ones. If you could learn to play any instrument, what would you pick? Guitar or piano or violin, idk. How do you feel upon seeing someone who’s missing an appendage?  I feel pity, but I feel no different towards them as a person. Why is your favorite store your favorite? They have clothing and accessories that best match my aesthetic. Would you let your child have a pet?  Depends on the pet, the child's age, and my faith in their responsibility level. Where were you raised and what’s it like?  I was raised in a bad neighborhood.  Lots of crime, gangs.  It was scary, yet at the same time, it wasn't the worst place in the world.  Good memories, bad memories. Do you get along with your best friend’s parents?  I'll find that out soon. Do you tend to become nervous when you know change is inevitable?  YES.  I don't like change. Are you a patient person when it comes to relationships?  Very. Do you prefer to hang out in groups?  Meh, depends on my mood. Would you ever consider styling your hair as a mohawk? Nope. Assuming you have blown bubbles in your milk before, were you yelled at for doing it as a kid?  No. Have you ever put on or lost a significant amount of weight?  I've done both. On a scale of 1-5, how often do you curse? 5. @_@ How is your posture?  It's fine, but I lean a bit to the right. Have you ever taken an Uber or Lyft? No. Do you shop on Black Friday? Only online. What do you dip chicken nuggets in?  Honey mustard or ketchup. Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you?  No. Do you pay attention to how much you eat?  I think I'm overly conscious about it by this point. Does your town/city offer a lot of opportunity for your future career, or would you get more out of living somewhere else?  I'd have far more opportunity elsewhere, probably.  Well... maybe not.  I want to be a wedding photographer, and there's not many of those here.  But where I live isn't exactly a gorgeous place to get married. What's more painful: Tattoos or piercings?  Piercings hurt more.  They're super quick, but the pain is definitely more severe. Does your ex live in the same town as you?  None of them do. Do you have any of your teachers on Myspace/Facebook?  Previous teachers, yes. What comes up when you google your name?  The Instant Checkmate site. Where’s the closest church to you? Do you attend it?  Not even a minute away, and no. Dr. Pepper or Root Beer?  I hate root beer, but I'm not big on Dr. Pepper either. Do you have a firepit in your yard?  No. Who do you talk to about personal problems?  Mom or Sara. Have you ever captured a moth?  I had a "pet" caterpillar when I was a kid and it turned into a moth that I released, if that counts. How long have you been dating the person you’re with? A few days from five months. Did you have a tree house when you were a child?  No. What is something that makes you grumpy?  Being really hungry. What school teams or clubs are/were you apart of?  National Honors Society, National Art Honors Society You can get a $1,000 gift card to any store you want, what is it?  Hot Topic. What’s the longest book you’ve ever read? How long did it take you?  I think "Not Without My Daughter."  I was really invested in it, so I doubt less than two weeks. Should a convicted murderer have the same right to be on the organ donor waiting list as anyone else?  I mean I guess?  A valuable organ is a valuable organ. How is your blood pressure?  This may have changed since I've come off many medicines, but mine at least was usually concerningly low.  I always had to explain to doctors it was normal for me. Have you ever stalked or killed a wild animal?  No. Ever had a rumor spread about you?  Yes, that Jason and I had a baby.  Even though I was obviously never pregnant.  His ex started it. What would you want to be written on your tombstone?  Probably "but you took it like a woman," a reference to an Alice Cooper song. Ever kissed someone’s hand?  Yes. Have you ever ran for class president?  No. Are you a rather gullible person?  Not really. If it had to be only daytime or nighttime all day, which would you choose?  As much as I like the night, daytime.  Humans and most animals are diurnal, so it'd be very difficult to adjust to that. When was the last time you went camping?  I've never been properly camping. Did you play with Play-Doh as a kid? Hell yeah dude. Have you ever found a four leaf clover?  True shit, I found a patch of them in our front yard the day after Dad left. Do you own a raincoat?  No. Are you fascinated by outer space?  Yes yes yeees!  I'm scared of it also, though. Is there a tree outside your window?  Yeah. What season would you want to get married in? Autumn. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yeah. Do you swear in front of children? No. Are you good at catching things? NO.  My hand-eye coordination is shit. What’s the biggest bruise you’ve ever had?  I'm not sure... but I'm guessing one of my knees since they've seen some shit. How would you react if you had a particularly unusual pain or ache? Tell my mother.  Although I usually look it up online if she's not home and it's always a bad idea because I'll find something awful, and then my anxiety kicks up lmao. What’s something that you like wearing, but you don’t actually wear it often? Skinny jeans.  I never wear jeans anymore. How often do you paint your nails?  Never. Which one thing made you cry the hardest?  It definitely related to my breakup.  I think that actual night, I didn't cry as much as me being in shock.  Wait... no, pretty sure it was after Mom caught me running for a knife that night.  I sobbed my fucking lungs out. Could you fall in love with someone, despite what they might look like? Yup. If someone was crying to themselves in public, would you ask if they’re OK?  Absolutely.  As socially inept as I am, I'd still feel awful if I didn't. Ever fingered a girl?  No. Do your parents still hide eggs around the house for Easter?  No. Do you wear choker necklaces?  When I wear necklaces, sometimes. When was the last you ran a mile?  High school. Do you have a big butt?  No. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?  I'd say I'm mostly pro-life, but I believe abortion is acceptable in some cases. What color is your phone?  Really dark navy. Do you know more than two digits of pi?  No. Do you have any STDs?  No. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver?  No. Who’s your celebrity crush?  Mark Fischbach. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for?  Yes, a prom dress and bridesmaid dress. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream?  I HATE WHIPPED CREAM. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up?  If it's cool, I'll probably keep it. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef?  Burgers. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name?  I couldn't tell you, dude. What are the three events this year you are looking forward to?  Seeing Sara in literally two days, probs getting a new tattoo, hopefully returning to my healthy weight or get at least close. Do you prefer nail polish with sparkles in it, or matte colors? I don't wear nail polish like ever, but matte. Would you rather hold hands or link arms with your significant other?  Hold hands. Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?  Yeah. Do you like getting hurt? Uhhh no I'm not a masochist. Do you believe in destiny?  No, I believe in free will. Do you have any birthmarks?  Yes, on the left side of my left arm. Have you ever watched anyone sleep? There were times where I'd still be up on the laptop at Jason's and look over at him and smile.  But it was never more than just a few seconds. Do you ever go back and read stories or books you read when you were a child?  Not for myself.  The only times I've ever done that is when I'm reading to Aubree. Have you and a partner ever had “a song”? My ex and I had two and Sara and I have about five thousand lmao. Do you think that it is okay for men to cry, or is it only okay under certain circumstances? Of fucking course it's okay. What is one of your favorite movie quotes?  "My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get.'"  From Forrest Gump. Describe your teeth:  Normal, just wish they were a bit whiter. What is one thing you look forward to every day?  A Markiplier video. What is one thing you dread every day?  Trying to go to sleep at night.  I like sleeping, just not tossing and turning until it happens. When was the last time you cleaned your ears via QTip?  Forever ago because they're the reason I got wax adhered to my eardrum from pushing it back too deep.  I use a different tool now. What's the longest you’ve lived without electricity?  Just like overnight and a few hours. Name all of the alcoholic beverages you have tried:  Daiquiris, sangrias, and margaritas are the only ones I like, but I used to have a sip of wine in Catholic school and also this disgusting coconut thing Nicole had. Name all the types/brands of cigarettes you have tried:  I've never smoked. Do you like to do puzzles (crosswords, word find, Sudoku, etc.)?  Yes. What is the most alcohol you’ve drank in a night?  I think five and a half daiquiris.  New Years 2017. Have you been to see an opera?  No. Have you ever been stung by anything? What?  A bumblebee. Is there anything you dislike about your house?  We don't have two bathrooms. What do you like to put on bagels?  Cream cheese. Do you like orange juice?  So long it doesn't have pulp, I love it. If you had to choose, which bug isn't ugly?  There's a number.  I love butterflies, ladybugs, moths, and caterpillars. Have you ever had an ulcer?  No. Do you have any rare medical conditions?  AvPD and (inactive) MRSA. The first time you remember being hospitalized, what was it for? Being suicidal. What does your favorite necklace look like? It's a spiked choker. If you crack your knuckles, do you crack them one at a time, or all at the same time?  I don't crack my knuckles. Do you sneeze into your hand or into the crook of your arm when you don’t have a tissue? The latter. Do you hate when grapes have seeds in them?  It doesn't bother me. Have you ever heard of Bananas in Pajamas? Yeah, my older sister loved that show.

[sending-the-message]

I missed the eclipse... Is anyone out there? by jerseycrawler

I didn’t buy the glasses. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, I could look at it without any real repercussions for a few seconds. When everyone was yelling about how you can’t look directly at the sun because of the cosmic rays and such, I shrugged and thought, not me. And the day came for the eclipse. The airwaves were buzzing with energy. The YouTube feeds were primed, showing fields of people waiting for that little cheeseball (the Moon) to pass in front of Sol. I went to Jiu Jitsu and then went home and got into bed. I figured there was an hour before the event, so I hopped into bed and perused the internet, hoping for a new video by Jacksepticeye or Markiplier or one of those internet personalities.

Unfortunately, my mind is a sinister beast, bent on destroying any possibility of happiness in my life and the first website I went to was one of those sex chatrooms. I found a girl bibustyF and I said, “hey can you help me with a rp?” She answered and we started having a detailed chat about some perverse ideas contained within both of our minds. I didn’t care if she was a guy. My mind just wanted to get off. At least it was in a detailed and constructive manner, though jerking off is never constructive for me and has led to the phallic structure protruding from my groin being nothing but a flaccid useless organ, like the appendix, though my appendix probably has more use because of all the meat I eat. So, three hours later, maybe even four, we wrapped up our session, I’d cum a couple of times, and I sat in my sweat and regret. I was defeated and when I saw the time it hurt that much worse.

I ran outside and looked straight up at the sun. It was behind a thin veil of clouds and the obscurity allowed me to stare for a few seconds before the tingling burn began upon my retinas. I saw a light orb passing in front of the sun though. I smiled at the sight of the eclipse and looked up again—burning some more in my eyes, not caring about possible damage, and then looked away. It was pretty much over, unfortunately. I caught the last bit, but I didn’t get to see the pinnacle. I cursed myself and started to head back inside, but before I could, my ears picked up on my surroundings. Do you know what they heard?

Nothing…

Emptiness…

Voidness…

I am not talking about just a quiet summer day—this was as if I were within the deepest void in the blackest vistas of outer space. I stood there, able to hear the sound of my heart beating and even the sounds of my stomach digesting the nuts I’d eaten when I got home. I tried to press my hearing, to accentuate the sense so I could hear further. I closed my eyes and held my head towards the direction of the trees a quarter mile away. Not a bird chirped. Not a cicada hummed. Not a wind blew. The trees didn’t even rustle. And the more I listened, the quieter it got, as if sound was being sucked from the planet I resided on.

I wondered if I had a sudden onset of deafness. Many family members had gone deaf as a result of sickness, so it could've been that. I clapped my hands together and heard the sound they made, dispelling that line of thought.

I walked to the edge of the patio and stared towards the street. The driveways were empty. I’d seen people packing up their cars that morning, but I didn’t think everyone on the block was leaving. There was always that one guy a couple houses down who never left his house, leaving his old coupe in the driveway which probably hadn’t been driven in ten years. I looked up at the sun and I stared and I stared, but there was no retinal damage. I walked onto the grass and I could hear the rustle so prominently of my feet on the verdure. I shivered as I walked, a nothingness surrounding me.

The soundlessness grew though, the further I went from my patio. At a certain point, the sounds of my footsteps were gone. Then went the sounds of my stomach churning. Then the sound of my heartbeat. I felt a pain shoot up the left side of my body and I ran back to my patio, the sound returning to my actions but nothing more. The pain subsided, but not completely. Something remained within my heart and with each bump a dull knock came, like a gas bubble that was expanding and receding.

My cell was in my pocket so I grabbed it. I tried turning it on but there was nothing, just the black emptiness that went together so well with the world I was living in. I went back into the house. Upon my reentry, something was off—actually, everything was off. There wasn’t any AC. No TV, microwave, dishwasher, laundry—nothing would turn on. I called out for my dogs, but there was nothing. That’s when I really got scared.

I’ve had my little Zo for twelve years and Hudson for four. She was a shit-poo and he was a black lab. They always came when I called for them. I called again and again, but nothing I started rummaging through the house. I looked in all of their usual spots, behind the couch, underneath the bed, under the kitchen table. They weren’t anywhere. I frantically yelled, tears streaking down my face when the realization came that they were completely gone when all of the doors and windows in the house were locked and both of them were inside only a minute before I walked out.

I jumped out the front door and ran for my car—it wasn’t there. Standing in the driveway, the nothingness around me, only visions of the neighborhood I called home, though it quickly turned into a place of horrors as the soundless surroundings grew. I screamed and nothing left my lips. I heard nothing from without or within and the pain streaked through me, like a horrible freezing burn. I ran back to my porch and screamed until I could hear myself again. But the pain inside of my heart only grew.

Nothing stirred. Even the trees had stopped as if a snapshot had been taken and posted up where a lively thriving neighborhood had been. The clouds weren’t even moving anymore and when I looked up at the sun, it no longer did anything. I was just a ball of light but the light didn’t do anything when I looked at it. I felt no heat from it. Everything was emptying. Some sort of disposal unit had come to collect everything. I cried on my porch and winced every few minutes from the horrible beating of my heart. I walked inside, feeling the stifling emptiness of my house becoming part of the nothing as well. I grabbed a banana just to know that it was still there and not just a part of this horrific snapshot. I ripped it open and took a bite. No taste to it. It was nothing as well.

I sat down at the table and tried to figure out what was happening. My head was swarmed with thoughts. At least there was something for me to hear, but if I had to listen to them and only them for the rest of my life I’d go crazy. I stood up, drained of tears and woes and went out the back door to the patio.

Upon taking a few steps onto the patio the pain shot up the left side again, this time worse than the last, and I nearly collapsed as I tried to heave myself back inside. I managed to get there, but the pain in my heart was worse, forcing a wince with each heartbeat, and the realization that some sort of boundary was collapsing in on me. The walls were closing in and I was going to be crushed.

I ran upstairs to my bedroom, the computer open and facing away from me. I ran to the bed, the most central point in the house, figuring that it would be the last place to go when things came down around me. I saw that the computer was still on. I stared at the screen, the field with the clouds in the background which looked like it would’ve had a really soothing sound. I tried to imagine the sound of that peaceful place, but no sound came to mind. I couldn’t even hear the musings anymore. Everything was being swallowed into the void.

Then a loud ding sounded, bouncing off the walls of my room and causing me to jump, startled by the unexpected, though relieving, disturbance of the familiar sound. It was the sound of a message being received from the sex chatroom that I frequented. I clicked on the tab on my browser and there was a message waiting for me. It was from bibustyF.

bibustyF: Hey there sweetie!

Me: Hey… something weird is happening.

bibustyF: Is your cock hard again or something? After what we did I’d think you won’t be able to get it up for a month.

Me: No! There’s no sound—no movement—no nothing.

bibustyF: Ooh. R u trying to seduce me or something?

Me: I’m not fucking kidding! Something fucked up is happening to me.

bibustyF: Oh baby! I’m here for you. Tell me what you need.

Me: I need you to call someone. Tell them to get to 110 Hartshorn Rd, West Orange, New Jersey. I need help ASAP!

bibustyF: Honey… there ain’t no one to call.

Me: What?!

bibustyF: You’re it baby. You’re all there is.

Me: Stop fucking around. I’m already scared enough.

bibustyF: Don’t be scared. Soon enough you’ll know. I saved you.

Me: What the fuck are you saying?

bibustyF: tsk tsk! Foul words ain’t gonna get you anywhere. You should be thanking me.

Me: For what?!

bibustyF: Oh… time’s up. Got business to attend to. Next time I’m on maybe we’ll get a little hot together. Let me know.

(bibustyF has disconnected)

I stared at the screen which displayed the chat log of me and whoever this was and I scrolled through it, reading it over and over, trying to understand what the person was talking about. Then I realized, as I was clicking and scrolling, there was no sound emanating from the computer. I couldn’t even feel the keys underneath my fingers. I couldn’t feel the cushion of the bed beneath me. I pressed my hands together and felt them. I screamed out for help and the sound left my lips but was swallowed by the void around me.

I did the only think I knew to do. I opened up another tab, hoping against hope that some semblance of the internet was still working. I needed to get word out somehow and the request went through. The front page of reddit came up and my heart leapt, shooting a pain through me like no other, blinding me with white light for a moment, relieving me of the only sense that seemed to be working correctly. Now I’m here, trying to get word out about what’s happening to me. This pain is climbing through my body with the blood that pumps from my heart. I’m infected with something and I need help. I don’t know how long I have and I don’t even know if there’s anyone else out there to see this—but if there is, please send some help. I can feel this crippling rot moving within me, even though as I press my hands together right now, I can no longer feel my palms or the sweat that’s probably gathering on my forehead, or the tears that are clouding my vision, or the hair that dons my head. I think I regret missing this eclipse.

[franklyshipping]

Don't. Touch. The Tea ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

MY FIRST REQUEST AHHHHHH this is for the lovely @cookiecrunchxox who is super nice and made my day with their compliments and who first entered my askbox as the TEA ANON (that’s legit what i called u in my head NOT EVEN SORRY 😘☕) because of the theme of your request, so here we go!!!

Bim’s morning routine was a simple one, wake up, go to the kitchen, make a cup of steaming tea. Tea was important to Bim because it was one of the few aspects of normality in his life, it set him up for the day and it was vital for getting him out of his drowsy stupour. Bim sighed and rubbed his eyes behind his glasses as he waited for the kettle to boil, no one else was up yet as far as he could tell so there was no hustle or bustle to mess things up.

Bim smiled as the kettled whistled, he poured slowly and relished in the sweet scent of earl grey; granted, it wasn’t everyone’s favourite but he loved it. He stirred and let the teabag sit for a few moments, turning away from the counter so he could grab a paper towel to wrap it in for when he binned it. He swore he averted his eyes for barely a millisecond, but when he looked back…his mug was gone.

‘What the heck?’

Bim mumbled, he rubbed his eyes again but the mug was still gone. He was about to pinch himself in case he was dreaming when a loud splutter made him jump, Bim walked round the edge of the counter and round a corner. Then he sighed. He’d found his tea, which was in the hands of Wilford Warfstache. Said man had evidently just taken a sip going by the intense grimace on his face, as well as the light glare he was giving the mug.

‘How the hell do you drink this?! It tastes like baboon pee!’

Bim decided not to question how Wilford linked the tea to baboon pee, he didn’t particularly want to be put off the rest of his breakfast. He shuffled over, holding his hand out for the mug.

‘Well I like it, it wakes me up. Can I have it back now?’

Wilford hesitated as he looked from the mug, to Bim’s outstretched hand and back again. His lips quirked into a small grin as he looked at Bim, shrugged and started walking away.

‘Nah.’

…what? Bim was struck by confusion as Wilford started walking away, tea in hand. Bim shook his head and proceeded to follow him, he was not ready to deal with Wilford’s….Wilford-ness at this time in the morning.

‘Wilford give me my tea!’

Wilford turned to face him whilst still backing away from him, his eyes glittered as he took a pointedly large gulp from the mug. Which only made him cough and shiver, Bim sighed exasperantly.

‘You don’t even like it!’

Wilford snickered at Bim’s annoyance, placing his spare hand on his hip with a wide grin.

'Yeaaah but it’s funny seeing you try to be all angry.’

Bim glared at the moustached man which only made him cackle lightly as he backed away furthur, Bim went to lunge for the mug but Wilford lifted it up out of his reach.

'I want my damn tea Wilford!’

Wilford snickered as Bim tried to grab it frantically.

'Ah ah ah! “I want” doesn’t get!’

Wilford sprinted over to the kitchen cabinets, Bim hot on his heels; when Wilford reached said cabinets he smirked and stood on his tip-toes, placing the mug at the very top. Despite them all being derived from the same person, there were little differences…like Bim being just a few inches shorter. Said man sighed, looking from the cabinets to Wilford with a raised eyebrow.

'Wow Wilford, real mature.’

'Thanks, see ya later.’

Oh hell no, Wilford was not getting away that easily. Bim glared and flew at Wilford, who yelped in surprise at they tumbled to the laminate flooring; Bim wasted no time in settling on Wilford’s thighs and pinning his arms with his knees. He was gonna regret this. Wilford told himself he wasn’t worried, but the glimmer in Bim’s eyes meant he had to repress a minute shiver.

'Take the mug down. Now.’

Bim spoke calmly, narrowing his eyes at Wilford who gritted his teeth and smirked back defiantly.

'Make me Trimmer.’

Bim’s lips stretched into a wide grin as he rested his fingers on Wilford’s exposed sides, giggling gently when the man beneath him tensed.

'Gladly.’

Bim wiggled his fingers which immediatly made Wilford squeak and burst into bubbly giggles.

'AHA! Whahahat ahare yohohou dohohohoing?!’

Bim giggled with a gleeful grin as Wilford squirmed at his touch, he moved up so he could prod and pinch at his ribs. He was delighted at the brand new snorts and crackly cackling he drew from Wilford.

'Hopefully convincing you to get my tea for me, is it working?’

Wilford only laughed as his ribs were played with like piano keys, his eyes were squeezed shut as he could only lie back and accept what Bim did to him. Bim started spidering over his tummy, making him yelp and buck.

'NAHAHAHAHA DOHOHOHON’T!’

Wilford shrieked as Bim hands wormed under his shirt and worked on his belly, tormenting his bare skin very effectively.

'Sorry Wilford, but “Naaa don’t” doesn’t get.’

Bim snickered as Wilford growled and tried to glare through his mirth filled expression.

'Yohohou ahahare sohoho dehehead Trihi-AHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHAHAIT!!!’

Bim was wiggling and burrowing a finger in his belly button relentlessly, smiling innocently as he cupped his other hand to his ear.

'What was that? Did you just threaten me?!’

Bim deepened his voice and grinned at the light shiver Wilford emitted amidst his desperate cackles and squeals, he elected to trace around Wilford’s navel whilst he let the other flutter at Wilford’s neck.

'STAHAHAHAP THIHIHIHIS YOHOHOU DIHIHIHICK!!!’

Wilford tried to scrunch his neck furiously, reduced to mere snorts and giggles as Bim made his touch light. Said man sighed, disappointment lacing his voice.

'Gosh, threats AND name calling? You’re really not doing yourself any favo-’

'Fuhuhuhuck yohohohou!’

Bim smirked and laughed as Wilford tried glaring again, but the grin on his face and blush coating his cheeks meant it didn’t really have the desired effect. Bim narrowed his eyes and poked his belly button harshly, causing a loud yelp.

'Hey I’m talking!’

Wilford giggled nervously as Bim stilled his movements, resting his hands on top of Wilford’s tummy as it rose and fell with his breath.

'Now, are you gonna save yourself any more trouble and go and get my tea? This is your final warning!’

Wilford nibbled his bottom lip as Bim spoke reprimandingly, he still had a nervous grin on his face as his mind whirred away. Bim looked down at him expectantly…but was shocked to see Wilford wiggle his moustache and shake his head slowly.

'No?’

Bim’s fingers curled over his belly, Wilford repressed a light giggle as Bim tilted his head with a teasing smile.

'Are you quite sure about that?’

Wilford bit the inside of his cheek, internally screeching as Bim’s fingertips traced little torturous shapes. And yet…he nodded. Bim smirked.

'I didn’t wanna have to do this…but you leave me with no choice.’

Wilford shuddered and fell into giggles as Bim delicately traced over his torso for a few moments, but Wilford soon noticed that Bim’s fingers were, ever so slowly…heading downwards. He pulled at his arms weakly, despite knowing there was no point.

'Nohohononono Bihihihim plehehehehease…’

He looked up imploringly but Bim only grinned and tutted.

'It’s too late. You had your chance and you just…threw it away.’

Wilford gasped as Bim’s thumbs trailed over the protruding bones of his hips. His most ticklish spot. He locked eyes with Bim who grinned and suddenly vibrated his thumbs harshly.

'AHAHAHAHAHA BIHIHIHIHIHIM!!!’

Wilford screamed and wailed and bucked as Bim tormented his worst spot, Bim was heavily taken aback by the reaction but that didn’t stop him.

'Aww, tickle tickle Wilford! I can’t imagine how bad this must be…’

Wilford had no energy left to even think of a retort as he screeched unintelligibly, cursing his own bitchy stubbornness.

'NAHAHAHAHAHA PLEHEHEHEHE!!!’

Bim felt slightly guilty, he didn’t want to push Wilford too far so he lessened the intensity. He traced his hips gently, thankfully allowing Wilford to get his breath back whilst still giggling and snorting.

'Ihihihi’ll mahahake yohohou tehen cuhuhups ohof fuhuhuhuckihing tehehea! Juhuhuhust stahahahahap!!!’

Bim giggled with a hint of smugness as he hummed, Wilford gazed at him pleadingly and Bim made his decision.

'Hmmm, I guess you’ve learnt your lesson.’

Bim smiled widely when Wilford gave out an audible sigh of relief, he shuffled off him and stood. Bim offered his hand which Wilford accepted with a bombastic grin, he quickly brushed himself down and waved his hands waywardly.

'Right, tea.’

Bim giggled as Wilford reached up to the shelf, Bim couldn’t restrain himself from giving his side a light poke. Wilford jumped and waved his finger at him accusedly.

'Hehey!’

Bim held his hands up with a grin.

'Sorry sorry I couldn’t help it!’

Wilford glared half-heartedly before stretching and retrieving the mug, Bim looked on concernedly when Wilford’s face dropped.

'What’s wrong?’

Wilford turned to him with a light, sad pout.

'It’s gone cold!’

Bim sighed and let out a light laugh as he took the mug from Wilford, patting his shoulder gently.

'It’s fihine I’ll just make another one.’

Wilford’s dejected look disappeared as he leant against the counter contentedly, Bim primed the kettle and sorted himself with a fresh teabag. He ran a hand through his hair as he turned back to Wilford, a question nagging at him.

'Hey Wilford, why did you take my tea in the first place?’

Wilford grinned and folded his arms at his chest as he leant on the kitchen surface.

'Well…I always see you drinking like 3 cups a day, so I guess I just wanted to try it.’

Bim smiled surprisedly, mainly at the fact that Wilford had an actual reason other than just wanting to be bothersome. Huh.

'Well for future reference, earl grey is NOT a good introductory tea.’

'Noted.’

They both laughed gently, and suddenly Bim was struck with an idea. He clapped his hands making Wilford grin at his exciteable state.

'Ooh, I could make you some normal breakfast tea if you like? It’s the one people usually have first!’

Wilford perked up and nodded enthusiastically at the idea, and so Bim set to work. In my personal opinion, I think this proves the long discussed myth…that tea always has, and always will bring people together.

fricky heck I enjoyed writing that SO GODDAMN MUCH this has made my day, tell me if ya like it annnd yeah 😄 luv yous xx