#i do really wanna make these one day for real

[your-werewolf-boyfriend]

Listen to me

Listen very closely

The above is exactly why half of my friends come to me, and cry they're suffering, and I get to bestow my job hunting knowledge on them. I love this shit, it's a game.

For credentials my fastest job hunting time has been 1 week. I searched for 1 week, got an interview, and was hired within a week. My slowest was 1 month, while out of work, while telling ALL my interviewers that I quit my work without notice (I was testing my interviewers to see how shocked they'd get when I'd tell them why, anyone who wasn't shocked I would tell them at the end that I will keep them in mind (not)). My entire average is 2-3 weeks.

Firstly, what you're gunna do is pick a job sector. You're gunna pick a few of these by the end, but for now pick one. Maybe you wanna do bookkeeping, maybe you wanna do something in doggy daycare. Maybe you're a sous chef. Idk! Figure out what abouts you want first. Do not apply to anything yet. You're gunna look at the job description, I've picked out a few for bookkeepers below.

Now what you're gunna do is you're gunna look for "buzz words", or rather words that are gunna appear commonly and indicate the tone for that job. I've highlighted some, but not all in my examples below

Just look at that snout at how similar those descriptions are!

Now that you've got your buzzwords, you're gunna slap those babies into your resume! You see, since your resume is usually read by a computer first, you're gunna trick the computer into giving it to a person. Really what the computer is scanning for is how similar your resume is to the job description. Remember your bullet points, and to keep it short, try to only have 3 to 5 bullet points per job:

- Processed over 500 invoices a day in an efficient and accurate manner

- Curated reports for management review by utilizing available data

- Monitored and recorded over 100 submissions each day increasing accuracy by 50%

These are some great, made up examples I pulled from those buzz words. You might notice I added some numbers into there. That's something you'll wanna try and note for yourself, how much of something you can do, how accurate, how much efficiency you increased, these look GREAT when your resume gets past the computer and is moved in front of a real person.

Now you have your sector-based resume with lots of buzzwords. This is great! Now for the easy part. You're gunna channel your inner "IDGAF" And you're gunna send that to every listing you like on indeed. Filter for "Apply on Indeed" and spam that shit. Sometimes you gotta answer a few extra questions, but if they give me more than 5 quick questions I trash the submission and move on.

Don't waste your time jumping through hoops, streamline it for yourself and use the same methods companies are using. Push MASSIVE amounts of average quality resumes out. The more opportunities taken = the greater the chance of success. For every opportunity taken you've now pitched a chance of success, for every resume you cannot submit because you're piddling around on their stupid website or answering 50 interview questions online, you send out a 0% chance of success.

So go, try this, and see how it works for you.

Some additional things to consider:

- Add random shit in your resume, I added my "Board Game Club" (BDSM group) into my resume for hobbies and discussed how I got my start using sparklines there

- Never underestimate the flair of a little Clipart fleur-de-lis or something on your resume. Never put colored Clipart, but a little floral or swirl design located somewhere nice makes it stand out

- if you don't have a degree that doesn't mean they won't pick you, twice now I've come to a job without a bachelors and being honest that I was only getting an associates before I think of my next steps

- Embellish, do not lie. Jargoning your job description to make it sound cool and professional is GREAT. Do not give me a resume saying you can use CNC machinery when you've only used a 3D printer. Just tell me you know how to program and manage a 3d printer and want to learn CNC machinery.

- Keep. Your. Resume. To. Two. Or. Less. Pages. You don't need EVERY job, only the relevant ones, if your interviewer asks about the gap, tell them what job you had during that time (or if you wanna lie say you were taking college courses and were on a break, you dont need a degree to say you took courses) and that you only wanted to showcase the most relevant ones

- I'm serious on that last one I'll eat your fucking resume

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

[mykaelaaa]

quit it

✰se-mi x fem!reader / ~3k

✰deciding to pair up with se-mi unaware what you're getting into

✰warnings: blood, suggestive, +18

"do you trust that guy?"

leaning on the comically big bunk bed far enough from the loud crowd, you stared at the plastic pig hanging in the air. filled with money, presumably real money.

maybe if you get everybody to climb on each other and take that thing down you could get out of this shithole you regret agreeing to.

some guy went on rambling about how he's been here before and you're too caught up in your thoughts to hear what he has to say.

what's his number? 456?

maybe you should spare him a chance. judging by the way he helped out. but maybe he's also full of shit, just like the rest of people here. you saw the field full of bodies and blood. if anything, he's a good entertainer judging by the green and greedy crowd he gathered around for the second time.

too lost to hear, but not to feel someone giving you a punch in the shoulder. quite a strong one. here we go, you thought. bribes, violence, torment, bed and food exchange just like in those world ending movies. 

not having any partners in crime or knowing what any of these people are like you have to be wary. it's all about the money as the end goal for over 300 people here, which is a scary thought. 

with annoyance and half-baked comeback, you turned your attention to whatever smartass that spawned next to you.

let's just say they sure did not disappoint. looks wise, of course.

but it's not time or place for that right now. right? besides, you saw a couple of sparks early on between players but surely surfaced level ones. the type formed in the span of one day of being here is not that romantic. more like a good distraction. but you can't blame them, maybe the next game is their last one so why not go out with a good makeout or something?

"what?"

"i asked you something." the girl spoke confidently, holding a strong gaze over you for some reason. she had her arms crossed, mimicking your pose on the opposite frame while you were gripped by uncertainty, she seemed more carefree and unbothered. it was almost reassuring, somehow. 

you felt exposed and this time not by the debts unpaid and calls from the bank but whoever was in front of you.

with hard to miss piercings, silver rings that slipped passed the guards somehow and a discreet grin escaping her collected persona left the reply hanging in the air and led you to stare for longer than you should have.

you don't even know her but a recent memory surfaced. that thanos guy being rejected by her and making a fuss about it in front of everybody. you never even heard of him before. one hit wonder probably.

"oh, yeah. sorry, i was just thinking i guess," you muttered, rubbing your temple with a sigh.

"about?"

"nothing important," you replied flatly, regretting how it came off as.

"right, right. no biggie, thinking about if you'll be alive in the next 2 hours. a daily routine," she said in a sarcastic tone, causing you to roll your eyes. 

the presence next to you made you somehow feel smaller than the weight of bunk beds and entire room already did.

"do you need something?" you dragged the question out, looking down at the wrinkled fabric of the number trapped between her folded arms, "380?"

"se-mi," she tucked her head to the side and half smiled, still done in nonchalant manner. "and yeah, actually. wanna pair up?" 

you stared at her. if whatever this is goes right, and you're not being manipulated by a pretty figure facing you, although you don't mind at all, you must track down where this cocky confidence comes from. if it's normal and "i used to be in the army" story and not "i was a hitman" you will keep her close.

"aren't you with those guys?" you nodded your head towards the obvious purple hair guy and his crew amongst the mass. 

"that self proclaimed rapper? nah, i don't really swing that way," she played with her lip piercing before shifting her attention towards you once again.

"oh, you don't really swing that way? or did i get that wrong?"    she chuckled at your teasing tone and raised brows, "well, what can i say. it's kinda obvious. at least i hope so."

you squinted, amused and engaged. everything about her look screams the already mentioned but why not toy around more when there's nothing to lose. "obvious, huh? sure, whatever helps you sleep at night se-mi."

se-mi shrugged, took a quick glance as if someone's around. "i think i'm pretty clear about it. but since you're not convinced…" she leaned in slightly, dropping her voice just enough for only you to hear. 

"stick around and i'll prove it."

your stomach did the weird thing, the one you wouldn't let her—or anyone know about.

fixing your weight against the metal bed frame, you scoffed. "right. because this place is swarming with opportunities to show off."

grinning, she pushed off the frame and cut the distance between you to down to a cruel and agonizing one. strands of her hair naturally fell over her eyes but it did not do a good a job hiding the intimidating gaze. crowd blended into silence and you could not pick whether to blame yourself for being so weak in the matter of seconds or her for playing dumb games.

you're were not that easy to impress just a week ago.

so she spoke, lip ring somehow reflecting off the dim lighting this chamber has.

"i'm pretty good at getting what i want."

you bit back a nervous laugh, trying not to let her and this proximity overcome you. "and what is it that you want?"

your desperate attempt to sound civilized and composed was shitty, and se-mi read easily through it.

"say yes and you'll see."

her eyes flicked to yours, lingering just long enough to make you feel like you lost the high ground. then swiftly she stepped back, taking all the tension with her. finally you could let out a breath you held unaware.

but before you could respond, a voice tear through the room.

"players, prepare for the next game. you have 30 minutes."

the announcement sent a wave through the busy crowd. voices hushed, movements quickened and panic was apparent. your chest tightened, probably the worst thing about this is not knowing what's next. if you ever get out, announcement lady is on the top of the list.

se-mi looked at the speaker in the corner. you wanted to ask her what's on her mind but devil works faster.

"time's running out, sweetheart. hope you're skilled with decision making."

"and if i say no?" you knew damn well that's not an option.

se-mi slipped her hands into her pockets, cocked her head to the side with that damn grin. slow on her feet she walked backwards, leaving you more and more with each step and it stinged.

"loss for both of us. and my bed is that way, by the way."

you watched her disappear in the crowd that rushed on the steps and just as quickly you were surrounded too. maybe, just maybe this is more challenging than the money winning itself.

✰

the game already morphed into a hazy fever dream of adrenaline and blood. it was oddly silent, compared to just a few hours ago when the main floor was brimming with "life". or better, those alive. now everyone that came back scattered around the room.

you weren't sure who's blood was blending with your shoes or who's splatter stained your jacket.

and neither was se-mi. however, she didn't seem shaken up, as per usual.

she followed you close behind, making a beeline towards the bathroom. the air inside felt much colder than the outside and the contact with the freezing sink proved it. in the mirror you caught a sight of se-mi leaning against the tiles, bloodied but stoic.

top to bottom, covered in blood with a cut on her face that she smudged further. she ran her hand through the hair in attempt to fix it, stretching her neck in the process.

quiet whimpers escaped past her lips. she unzipped her jacket, looked at the mess made. floor. room. and back at you again. 

you admit you did look at her like a man starved. just blame it on the adrenaline. it's easier that way.

she clicked her tongue in fake disapproval, "no manners."

what a jerk.

"you're all bloody." you stated, hands working faster than your mind, already reaching for the paper.

"really?" she pretended to be puzzled. it made you sigh. "let's go in the stall."

"you don't—i can do it too, you know," now she felt slightly bad for making you more worried than you already are.  

she sat down on the toilet with a loud thump, no protests or fight. her muscles aching but you were no better. you closed the door behind you, this place making you more paranoid than ever. borrowing a second of your shared free time to look at the piece of work across you.

with each second passing you realized this silence, comfort and unspoken longing became a luxury here. se-mi took a note of it too.

deep inside she blames the gods for meeting a pretty girl in a state like this, desperate for money, careless about debts, bloody and tired in this awful bathroom. you're no better though. and it made her feel a bit better.    "what? do i look that bad?"

you snorted, shook your head no. slightly kneeled, you took the wet paper you gathered in one hand while holding the back of hear head with another. leaning in, you observed the cut on her face. a knife? no, unless someone smuggled it. you didn't see her in fight either.

a lack of self control let loose and your finger delicately ran across her cheek. blame it on just wanting to see how bad it hurts but she was no fool.

entire time she maintained eye contact. this is the closest she ever was. it's a funny thing to notice, she's not that hopeless. not in a outside world. actually, she doesn't wanna remember. 

your hand was cold but it felt right. the stall seemed to shrink with you in front of her. 

se-mi swore she could smell your perfume that still withstand these conditions. must be an expensive one. that's fine, 45.6 billion will cover it.

"you're shaking," her voice dropped and she teased. turning her head to the side, bemused.

"oh," you backed away lightly. "apologies. wasn't aware you graduated in body language." se-mi enjoyed this too much.

you took a deep breath and continued clearing her face. terrible at avoiding her gaze. "are you a hitman or something?" you started, truly curious.

"guessed it on the first try."    "sooo you're not? good."

"i'd definitely make everybody pay me big if i was and wouldn't end up here. why?" 

of course the smartass answer. 

"just wondering how the hell nothing about this seems to bother you. people dying, not knowing who's next, guards just headshoting everybody…" you carefully moved her face to the side, causing her to shudder shyly. 

"it was at first but there's a prize at the end. i think it's worth it. at least to get to the half of it. that was before i—whatever."

"yeah?" she watched you change positions and kneel down, all done with an innocent look boring through her. she doesn't know if it's on purpose or you're tired.

someone entered the bathroom and se-mi cursed them internally for distracting you but it also gave her spare time to stare. 

swallowing harshly, se-mi did not let her mind flatter now.

doors closed. losing the advantage she convinced herself she has, with a heavy sigh and a fuck it, she looked away and closed her eyes. "we're paired up now. so…yeah. i guess i kinda have things to lose."

feeling your movements halt, se-mi opened her eyes. maybe that was too far. 

"yeah, i-uh. same here." 

you felt her eyes boring holes as you sloppily cleaned up the papers and threw them away, feeling your body burning. 

everything about this was shitty. games, people, loneliness, food, voting. everything except this. yeah, she might look a little beat up with tired bags under her eyes but it was hopeful.

your shadow fell over her. the height difference meant nothing right now. neither of you moved. things unspoken seemed so, so obvious to both of you it was suffocating. she just hopes you don't treat this as a distraction.

"i—" se-mi did not let you finish. instead she got up with a newfound boldness, licked her lips and pondered. making you wonder what else is playing in her mind.

"thank you." it was sincere, raw. she took barely half a step closer in this cramped stall with dozen of obstacles around. you could feel the heat rising and hell if you weren't red yourself. 

"you know, you also got blood on your face." 

"do i?" not really, you checked yourself in the mirror. no?

"mhm," she confirmed and you almost missed it. again, se-mi closed the distance further. raised her hand to wipe the "blood" suspiciously close to your lips.

no, you definitely didn't have it.

"there." she barely smiled and your breath hitched. she picked up on it.

you felt drunk looking down at her lips. and you know what? you might die tomorrow for all you know.

"oh fuck you." 

it sounded and felt desperate, muffled by the four walls; the way you pulled her by the jacket and kissed her. metallic taste absorbing you whole and the chapped lips mixed with her metallic piercing. you're done for. 

se-mi smirked proudly against your lips, like her plan finally worked. too busy for good to answer her antics but enough to crush one of her plans which was her hungry grip around your waist. so she caged you with her arms around between the door and her body as you kept pulling her back in. no need because she already made up her mind she's not leaving anytime soon.

you traced your hands under her unzipped jacket that made her gasp. still feeling like she keeps her cool persona intact even now.

you took it as a chance to put your tongue to use. you weren't so experienced per se but it's natural talent. her on the other hand…

both of breaths blended into one and it felt hot, almost wrong. making you weak in your legs, forcing you to find a support behind her head. intertwining your fingers together, drawing her even further if possible clearly left no more gap present.

your bodies connected fully, se-mi was so lost yet too aware of everything you did. your touch was setting her on fire everywhere at once, teeth bumping in rush, small noises you made and she doesn't recall last time she took a full breath.

out of nowhere you felt a knee pressing between your legs, making you to throw your head back harshly and let out a moan that se-mi had to cut short. unfortunately.

there was too much going for the door to handle and keep it low-key.

"come here, you're too loud." se-mi whispered, catching up her breath as she sat back down again. 

"and that's my fault?" you regret saying that because you weren't sure if she even understood you.

gasping and impatient was the sight of se-mi, lazily sprawled and hair messy. a genuine thought of staying here until guards have to break down the doors sounded pleasing.

each leg on her side, her hands instantly wrapped around you and lips chased for more. she's just as hopeless as you in the end. your body flinched upon feeling her hands sneak under your shirt. making a tour, stopping at your waistband. it was attentive, studying your reactions carefully, less in rush now. she was in control.

se-mi left your lips for a while, kissing path down your jaw to focus on your neck. she's glad you can't read minds.

your hand found hers buried under your shirt, hinting at whatever she has in mind to make it true. "we might be in a bathroom stall but i'm still a gentleman." you felt her hot whisper hit your ear.

"w-what?"

"can i?" she looked at you with a darkened gaze, twisting a knot in your stomach. at this point you had no energy but to groan and nod yes, letting your head fall on her shoulder if it wasn't for her grabbing your jaw and making you lock eyes. 

what you said about her demeanor, you take it back.

"no, no. speak." briskly she nestled in the crook of your neck and licked a stripe there. 

"i…you're a tease." the answer was transparent.

chatter from the outside made you freeze vaguely, se-mi kept her pace on. "you gotta be quiet now."

her fingers slipped past the tight band, further and further. cold metal of her rings added to the feeling. you whined but se-mi shut you up with a kiss. she leaned her forehead against yours, a smug look on her face since she's leading the game.

her fingers made contact with your core, maybe if you just let out a scream right now you'd scare those women away.

"it's okay, you can do it." it did not help.

"please se-mi, i can't—" 

the second doors closed, she wasted no time slipping her fingers into you. you held onto her collar like a lifeline, head thrown back and air knocked out.

se-mi was mesmerized. wished it was a club rather than a place you have to get knocked out and drugged to be taken to. she will get you two outta here any means.

hitting all the right spots, distracting you with kisses and wandering hand you're about to collapse. "i'm-i'm close—"

"i know, i know," so she sped up, watching you fall apart, hitched breath in her ear so addicting, soft pleas she can't answer and oblige right now, hands gripping her hair. she'd take her time if she had one, hoping these cameras have decency so she can save you only for herself.

the least she can do in this short time is fix your shirt and jacket and pray you're coherent. "no worries, i don't leave a lady just like that but we gotta get out."

"hmm? sure, just give me a moment."

she chuckled, "not in that way. i'll tell you when we get back."

[girliism]

priest in training au

a week had passed since you were caught coming back from sneaking out. all the girls on your floor were woken up and you were given a public scolding. you had cried yourself to sleep that night. you use to be good, the nuns use to make examples out of you. but then art walked into your life, and he made you want things, crave things. maybe it was best you didn’t see him anymore

-

“what’s up with you and your virgin mary? was the date so bad she had to shun you.” patrick joked, causing art to push him. “shut up, and don’t call her that. she’s probably just busy with final vow ceremony coming up and everything.” art made excuses for you even though he didn’t know why you’ve been avoiding him.

always rushing out of class, ignoring him during mass, and pretending not to see him waving at you. but you saw all his attempts to talk to you. you felt the way his gaze would burn into the back of your head. it was killing you not to interact with him, but you knew where that would lead.

art was sick of it. sick of you avoiding him. so he cornered you one day outside, dragging you behind a building and trapping you between his hands.

“why have you been ignoring me? did i do something wrong, did i hurt you?” you could hear the confusion in art’s voice and it had you shaking your head. “no! no, it’s not that.” you take a deep breath closing your eyes. “i’ve just been thinking….and i don’t think we should see each other anymore.” you whispered. art’s hands had slipped from where they were resting on the wall.

“what?”

now art was convinced that he did something. “why?” you chewed on your bottom lip shrugging. “it’s just we’re gonna be taking our final vows soon and-” art cut you off scoffing. “so what, you were just gonna never speak to me again?”

you sighed holding art’s hands in yours. “art, i’ve had a lot of fun with you, but realistically how long was this to go on.” forever. art wanted to say. his feelings that started out as purely sexual had morphed into something real. you had bewitched him.

“but what if i don’t want this to end?” he locked his eyes on yours. “what if we just fucked off together. you and me.”

“art.” your furrowed your brows. this was very serious to you. for years you studied towards your nun status and was so close to making your parents proud. while art wouldn’t think twice before abandoning his post.

“what? i’m being serious. there’s nothing for us here but a life of temptation why not just leave.” it was your turn to cut him off. “you’re just saying that because you wanna have sex me.” you hissed, pulling your hands out of his.

you moved to get away from him, away from this conversation but art grabbed your arm pulling you back to face him. “i’m not!” art took a deep breath sighing, preparing himself for the cheesy love confession he was about to give.

“i mean, maybe in the beginning, yeah. but you’ve done something weird to my heart. i…i think about you all the time, you’re in every corner of my mind. and it’s ok if you don’t feel the same but i just can’t go on anymore without you knowing this.”

art stopped speaking and you were shocked. thoughts upon throughts were racing through your head. you thought over the time you spent with art, allowing yourself to give in instead of pushing down those less than pure feelings had felt freeing.

were you really going to go back to making empty vows and hiding under your vails of false purity?

your lack of an immediate answer had art’s hands dropping their hold on you arms. sensing he was going to walk away you blurted out.

“i’ve never done such things like this before meeting you.” you blinked. “you make my heart feel weird as well. a weird feeling that i wanna keep feeling. but… i’m scared and-”

arts hands were on your cheeks and his lips met yours before you could finish speaking. the kiss was soft and slow. different from the ones you usually have. your mouth automatically stared moving with his, like a natural instinct.

“you don’t have to be.” art said breaking the kiss. placing his forehead on yours. “we’d have each other. and possibly my grandmother.” he was quick to add on the end, which had you huffing a laugh.

maybe everything would be ok.

(next smut 😈)

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  

“what’s all this?”  

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  

“No” 

“care to explain why?” 

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  

I love you.” 

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 

“Together how?”  

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 

Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

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tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

[wonton4rang]

——————————————————————————

pairing: bnd x reader.

warnings: none, mentions of arguments, kissing in some parts, mentions of the members real names.

summary: how would bnd react to “we have to talk”

——————————————————————————

sungho; unless he knows he did something to make you feel sad or mad, he would be chill, leaving his coat in the hanger and walking to you with a little bit of confusion since you said this as soon as he went in the house after coming back from work. “sure, what is it about?” he would ask in the sweetest and softest voice, his eyes showing the way he worried about you. and you just couldn’t do that to him, so you finally came clean and explained it was only a joke to see his reaction, sungho would laugh and kiss your forehead, assuring you that the whole “we need to talk” situation didn’t scare him since couples need to communicate in order to last :’) best boyfie award winner right here.

riwoo; “we need to talk” chills ran through his body before he unglued his eyes from the tv screen and directed them to you, his orbs got glossy really quick and his voice trembled when he asked “is everything okay, baby?” it was late, at least 1 or 2 in the morning and there was riwoo binge watching the series you told him not to loose sleep for. yeah, in sanghyeok’s mind you guys were done. but you just laughed at his scared frame, making him gulp before looking confused as you just kept laughing, explaining how it was only a joke and that you didn’t mind him watching his serie anytime, he was going to be the one tired after all. he would be soooo relieved, because he couldn’t even think of loosing you.

jaehyun; he didn’t even registered it the first time, his mind taking its time to process everything and create a thousand scenarios where he did something and you left him for it. so when you snapped your fingers in front of his face, he just held you in his arms, kissing your lips right away, so soft and yet so passionate and rough, only him could kiss you like that. he would back you up to the wall when you didn’t push him away and kiss you a little longer before letting your lips go for a second, panting against them before looking for your eyes and saying “i don’t recall doing anything wrong but if i did, i’m sorry, baby. can you tell me what it was? i promise i’ll fix it” but when you said it was just a joke, he just got a little mad, because why would you put his heart through such a harsh time.

taesan; “we need to talk” he was sitting on his bed when you said this, noticing how woonhak left the room right after you talked and taesan directed his eyes to you, still cleaning that vinyl disc “about what, noona?” you closed the door behind you and then crossed your arms in front of your chest, dongmin confusingly looking at you before putting his disc back in place and finally standing up “is there something bothering you, love?” his hands held your arms to uncross them and pull you in for a small peck in your lips, “what did you wanna talk about? did they do anything to upset you?” , “w-what? no, the members are just fine” , “are you sure?” and you could tell that even though he was showing you that nonchalant attitude he was really worried, he would NEVER think wrongly about his members, which is why you couldn’t hold it and laughed, explaining it was just a joke before he rolled his eyes at you and put you on laundry duty with sungho as a “punishment” for making him worry.

leehan; “what do you think i did now?” and that alone would make you feel soooo offended, your eyes and mouth opening at the same time and before you could even say anything to defend yourself he kept going “I haven’t even been out lately, you have my phone most of the day because for some reason you don’t want to subscribe to youtube premium on yours, i made you breakfast, i took the garbage out, i did the dishes and took a bath after cleaning the living room and folding the clean clothes. I don’t know what I missed or what you think I did but I-“ you had to stop him before he kept ranting “it’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong, it was just a joke” he arched his eyebrow at you as you added “but I didn’t know you did all that” leehan laughed this time and pull you over to sit on his lap in the couch “i did, between yesterday and today” and you couldn’t hold it just laughed while he kissed you, he was also a really good boyfie even when he liked to argue back.

woonhak; oh god please don’t do this to him omfg, he is nervous, screaming, trembling, tongue tied, shaking and paralyzed at the same time, he doesn’t know what he did, he doesn’t really think he did anything but you are his noona, his first girlfriend, you know better. so he could just sit there and look at you with his big eyes, sobbing every once in a while, waiting for you to talk and stop walking around in front of him. so when your eyes met he crumbled, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i don’t know what i did yet but i will fix it, it won’t happen again. i love you so much, y/n. please forgive me” and the way his voice sounded broke your heart, immediately leaving the joke behind when you held his face and softly kissed his lips, assuring him that he didn’t do anything wrong and apologizing for the joke that took the wrong turn.

[daenysx]

I fear I needed part two of modern!James headcanons like yesterday so if you ever feel like gracing us with more delusions about him being the perfect man, feel free to do so

here's part 2! thanks for reading, angel <33 (part 1)

okay, so james has this rebellious side and he's kinda reckless at times, right?

(especially when he's with remus and sirius)

you never know what's gonna happen with these three

but-

i also think james can be really predictable too

he has routines he likes to follow

he enjoys making lists of things in his head and do them in an order- after some time you got them all figured out

like- he'll always eat the same comfort meal every friday night or watch the same episode of his favorite sitcom when he feels too tired to focus on a new show

after an exhausting day, he'll just collapse on bed and beg for you to play with his hair

he likes making shopping lists

and i know- this is really basic but just imagine james potter going through the fridge to keep track on everything you're running low

he is responsible when it comes to chores. it's hot because he mostly completes them without wearing his shirt

his goal is obviously distracting you but he claims 'it's because it gets too hot'

now- back to being smutty here

james loves to be kissed

he actually kinda lives to be kissed

every inch of his skin begs for it

his favorite is when he lays down on bed and you get on top of him to love him right

neck kisses are super important

and-

kisses on his happy trail

i mean for real- he'd be lifting his hips for more, and you'd of course tease him

but he's so ready to surrender, he's like 'please angel, i'll do anything'

he loses his mind every time he feels your mouth on his cock

literally.

never ashamed on finishing too early (i mean, what's too early?)

he says you're so hard to resist and he's just obsessed with your mouth

charming

he loves sleepy sex

loves sleepy everything, really

he thinks you look so cute for him when you're almost awake and blinking your eyes at him

james potter is the type of man who'd get his thigh between your legs to give you something to hold onto whenever you feel restless in bed

he thinks you look good wearing his glasses but you can't believe him because how does he see anything without them?

his favorite color is red

he loves kissing you after you applied your lipstick

even if that means a potential argument

speaking of arguments

i think james believes arguments are too exhausting and he avoids them mostly

he tries to fix things before the argument stage, he feels uncomfortable when he's angry

he's too sunshine for all this

and he grew up in a peaceful home environment so he's not used to do things by arguing

let's change the subject

his handwriting is a mess most of the time

because he tries to be quick and scribbles carelessly

he likes drawing when no one's looking

james has too many friends

everyone likes him because how can they not? but mostly it's because he's really kind and he likes meeting with new people

he has too many friends but only two of them matter the most (wink wink)

and you (obv)

finally

he'd love love love the skincare sessions you give him

i have a fic about it here

but i really do think he likes being taken care of

okay i'm done?

you can send me an ask if you want more headcanons for james! not just for this context but anything you wanna see, i can try

[siwolism]

hey real quick since we wanna pull the "if you dont know about it shut the fuck up" card but also take potshots at native americans "planting bombs," I have a few questions for you. No google!

How many treaties has the US made with indigenous nations? How many of those treaties are unbroken?

What % of native americans live in poverty? How does this compare to the white average? How about other US minorities?

How many indigenous american soldiers served in the korean war?

How many federally recognized indigenous tribes are there in the USA?

When were indigenous americans allowed to leave the reservation without petitioning the US government for permission?

What is NAGPRA? Why does it exist?

How many native american children died thanks to the residential school system?

How many indigenous languages are currently spoken in the USA? Now how about including the dead ones? Can you name 5?

How many bison lived in the USA prior to westward expansion? How many are left now?

What was the population of indigenous americans in the current US prior to european contact? What is it now?

Since I sincerely doubt you can answer any of these, let alone all of them, pick three or four and make your best guesses.

off the top of my head. also like less then 35% of koreans use google lol. not really a big thing here

3. 10,000. don’t know why you included this obviously i know the stats on the korean war. there were 42,000 in the viet war lol

1. i know it’s somewhere in the ballpark of 350-380, but i can’t remember the exact number. i thinkkkk the wikipedia page says 500 (600?) but im not sure how trust worthy wikipedia is compared to other sources in this case. if i ever came across a conclusive answer to how many treaties broken i don’t remember it, but i usually just assume most if not all.

2. ive seen differing numbers between native americans in general and those who live on reservations and i might get this mixed up but im pretty sure it’s 30% poverty rait for those living on reservations and 24% for native usamericans in general. i don’t know the white average but the national average is 15%

4. 578 i think?

5. if there is an exact date id love to know. from my own education i thought it was both a state and federal thing and i assumed the dates in which restrictions were lifted depended on different states. but actually even as i’m writing that out that sounds wrong lol. i do know that by 1956 there was the indian relocation act so it had to have been before then

6. its an acronym. federal act, something to do with graves i remember seeing people talking about it a while ago. i think it has something to do with museums who had stolen native american bones and other cultural objects being given money by the government if they returned them.

7. okay so ive seen a lot of people say a thousand (in the us) and im pretty sure that’s the number that came out of an offical report but i really don’t think that’s correct because the number of native american children killed in canadian residential schools is upward of 4,000 and some researches say it could be as many as 30,000 so i think that 1k number has to be bullshit.

8. it’s around 180 today, i think it was 300 originally. ill try my best but like lowkey i probably couldn’t tell you 10 languages in china if you gave me 10 hours i suffer from an extreme inability to remember small details like names and dates. but i will try: yupik, haida, cherokee (<- the one with the cool script), dakota and lakota

9. sorry i don’t know numbers but im pretty sure the stats are like. over 95%, ive seen some places say 98% it’s fucking horrific

10. i don’t think anyone knows the number. no one was taking census, ive seen people say 10 million ive seen people say 114 million but im pretty sure that’s talking about the entire continents of the americas not just who lived in current day usa. the modern day population is between 3-9 million depending on how you define a native usamerican.

i think you guys underestimate just how much knowledge about usamerica us non usamericans just absorb via being on majority usamerican websites. and when i was younger trying to learn more about indigenous struggles around the world i spent a lot of time on indigenous discord servers which were all a fucking hellhole (shout out to all survivors of the freely indigenous server i think we all deserve finical compensation) but i still had to educate myself on native american topics in the us and canada because the majority of the time that’s what was under discussion and i didn’t want to come off as ignorant. also the person im dating is originally from canada and has family in usamerica, she’s a communist and ive learnt a lot about, especially canadian, indigenous history from her. but even without those last two things just being on any side of vaguely leftist tumblr or tiktok you encounter a lot of discussion around native american issues. id say most non usamerican communists on here have done some level of research on indigenous history and current day reality in the americas and even if they hadn’t it’s pretty easy to absorb the basics via osmosis.

[as-the-crows-feather-falls]

Jayvik headcanons :)))))

Jayce:

* Oh my god where to even start with this guy

* He’s ridiculously ticklish. Like, everywhere. It’s insane. But I’d say his worst spots are: under his arms, his stomach, and his hips. But again, get him anywhere and you’re golden he’ll laugh either way. If you wanna get him to shriek though he has this one spot on the back of his ribs that will make him go absolutely insane

* Due to his status as “The Man of Progress” or whatever, not to mention this guy has the build of a brick wall, most wouldn’t suspect this, let alone test this

* Two words. Caitlyn. Kiramman. Jayce would tickle the shit out of her when she was younger, but since she has gotten stronger as she grew up, she has become a formidable adversary with a lust for revenge

* These two have tickle fights almost every time they hang out. I feel Jayce would initiate them most of the time, flicking her like in “Happy Progress Day” or teasing her or poking her. He just loves to annoy her and it bites him in the ass every. Damn. Time.

* Now back to the Jayvik stuff I fear I got carried away with Jayce being a goofball lmao

* Oh my god I can hear his laugh. When there’s intentional tickling going down, there is zero buildup. None. Zip. No giggles, no chuckles, no nothing. His laugh immediately goes from laughing to cackling when he’s tickled

* His laugh is so bold and bright and unapologetic, the only time it really goes quieter is if he starts wheezing, which he will if gotten good enough

* I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL: GIGGLE-DRUNK JAYCE. Jayce gets giggle-drunk obscenely easily. He’ll just sit there limp and giggle out any leftover laughter, and he’ll rest a hand over his eyes so only his smile is visible

* He literally loves tickle-fights. Again, he used to initiate them with Caitlyn all the time.

* He is AMAZING at teasing. He doesn’t do baby talk or anything like that, he’s just a yapper. Like he talks almost the entire time he’s tickling

* “Oooohohoho my god, what was that?” “Is something funny?” “Are you gonna take a break now? Huh?” “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your giggles, wanna try again?” He’s also not above calling someone “Giggles.”

* His raspberries are fucking brutal. It’s like a mortal combat finisher he’s mastered them

* Depending on who he’s tickling and the overall vibe, he’s not against going “tickletickletickletickletickle” really quick and clawing at sensitive spots. He mostly uses this against Caitlyn lmao

* He’s just such a goofball I love him

Viktor:

* Let’s just say he’s lucky he has that brace on. He doesn’t know this, but that is the only thing between him and certain death if Jayce were to find out his worst spot was under there

* Speaking of which, his worst spots are definitely his ribs, stomach, and knees, with his hips not far behind. Again, thank the lord for that brace or he’d be screwed, his ribs are a death spot for him

* His ears and neck are giggle spots for him. One night Jayce was feeling goofy, bored of twirling the quill in his fingers, and brushed Viktor’s ear with it just to be a shit. Viktor immediately broke into a giggly smile, bringing his shoulder up to protect himself. That’s one of Jayce’s favorite memories with Viktor, even if he did smack Jayce with a notebook afterwards

* His palms, the inside of his forearm, and his spine are an odd level of ticklishness where he’ll be on the cusp of a giggle fit and falling asleep. Like he doesn’t know if he loves it or hates it because it drives him up a damn wall

* He hasn’t been tickled since his early childhood in the fissures. Jayce put an end to that real quick.

* His laugh is kind of the opposite of Jayce’s (I’m gonna take that “two sides of the same cog” imagery to my grave they make me so ill). Viktor’s laugh is kind of wheezy and raspy, and he’ll cover his mouth with his hand. When you get him well enough, his laugh will rise in pitch and he’ll take his hand away from his face to protect himself from his attacker, and that’s when you can see his bright smile. If they had Polaroids, Jayce would want to take a picture of that smile and carry it with him forever. He loves it so much

* HOWEVER If you catch him by surprise, or if you get him just right, his laugh is super bright and kinda loud, but still a little raspy. Just a really pure and happy sound

* His teases are just sarcasm mixed with faux-scientific questions

* “Remind me again, how many ribs are in the human body?” “How on earth do you get anything done when you’re this sensitive?”

* One wouldn’t expect it, but he is JUST as silly as Jayce, it just takes a little more to get him there

* I love the idea that Jayce kinda brings out the kid in Viktor, not just with tickling but overall. I mean, he had to sneak into the academy and prove himself time and time again to get to be Prof Heimerdingers assistant (canon I’m pretty sure) and then Jayce “Crank it!” Talis come along. He kinda teaches Viktor how to be silly again

Both:

* Tickle fights are not uncommon at ungodly hours of the night

* No surprise, Jayce initiates them most of the time. However, their first tickle fight was actually started by Viktor!

* A very sleep deprived Jayce wouldn’t stop annoying Viktor (all in good fun of course) and Viktor finally had enough and jumped him lmao. It didn’t take long for Jayce to find his bearings and retaliate, but Viktor definitely won that one.

* They’re actually both on pretty even ground during tickle-fights. Jayce may be stronger, but he breaks easier and Viktor has more protection

* On a softer note, Jayce loves pressing kisses into the crook of Viktor’s neck when they’re cuddling just to hear him giggle

* On days where he has better mobility, Viktor can and will chase his target Jayce down if he plays his cards right. He knows just how to get Jayce backpedaling, and as soon as he hits a wall or trips up Viktor lunges forward and gets him lmao

* Unless Viktor tells him off, Jayce will always give him a fighting chance. He knows just how strong Viktor is, but he also knows his own strength as well. Viktor’s disability aside, Jayce is built like a brick shithouse and he knows it very well. He never wants to make anyone uncomfortable with something so playful, so he will always hold back on his strength.

* He’s also very intuitive when it comes to social cues in that sense, he’s always looking to see if his target isn’t having fun or if they’re uncomfortable.

* Viktor has this look that always tells Jayce if he’s fucked up. Like that look plus smoothly reaching for his cane, getting out of his chair, and strolling towards Jayce will have him immediately pleading for his life. All Viktor has to do is walk towards him and Jayce is sweating. Thats when Viktor teases the most too, asking him stuff like “What’s the matter,” or “Did I say something funny?” Their teases are similar in that end, they rub off on each other something horrible.

* One time Heimerdinger caught Jayce and Viktor mid tickle-fight while checking up on them and as they were trying to frantically pull themselves together he said “No, no, no. No worries, dear boys. I only came to check on progress, but what is the point of working the mind if there is no play to balance out the soul. Carry on, gentleman!” And left. After a moment, the two of them just kinda looked at each other and, tickles aside, just started laughing. Like they couldn’t even look at each other without immediately cackling. One of those moments when you think you’ve got all the giggles out then you look at them and it’s rib-clutching hysterics all over again. That’s a memory they both have as a favorite of theirs

[genericpuff]

Do you have any big plans for Rekindled this year? Like specific moments/events/developments? Also, would you ever consider going back to a weekly upload schedule?

welllll as for stuff that's like, in the immediate near future, we're gonna be tackling a VERY famous scene in LO that I have some fun ideas for that will hopefully make it feel familiar but with its own twists for y'all to enjoy. Considering the current roadmap the story is on and what's been established over the past few "days" within the story, I'm sure y'all will figure out pretty quick which scene I'm talking about ;333

But in the long-term over the course of this year... I don't wanna speak too soon, but I think this is the year that we're finally gonna enter the biggest turning point of the story, so big that it literally diverts LR's plot away from the blueprint of LO and we end up in truly new territory. Granted, there are still some elements of the original LO present after that point, but what we do with those elements is entirely different. I think it's gonna parallel well, because while LO's S2 era took a massive turn away from everything it had been building up towards throughout S1, LR's "second season" will be taking a massive turn towards those setups and outcomes that were clearly abandoned (or just not thought of entirely, even the stuff that was like... plainly obvious to anyone who was paying attention lmao).

I'm hoping that after we've reached that point, the path that LR walks will feel way more satisfying for the readers like myself who felt that everything beyond S2 of LO was a complete misfire and lost potential. Again, it will hopefully feel familiar to those who remember that era of LO - but still refreshing and interesting to really drive home how this is meant to be an interpretative rewrite of what could have happened if LO hadn't gotten distracted and had actually stuck with its original plotlines and themes. I think the biggest one of those themes that was present in LO but never fully realized will be everything concerning "Persephone" herself, the Act of Wrath, and everything that led up to her moving to Olympus.

It is a little nerve-wracking, because it'll be at that turning point where I truly have to carry this story's progression for real and can't use LO quite as much to guide me through the dark, but I'm also excited because it's where I finally get to loosen a lot of the limitations that were set from the foundation of LO and really go wild with everything that I had been hoping LO would be. It's when I'll really get to write some proper payoffs to the things that I've been building up to from the foundation of the original comic as my starting point. It's where things are really gonna start to feel truly "new", at least in my opinion!

As for what that massive "turning point" is... I'm not gonna say specifically what happens, but you will absolutely know it when you'll see it. Obviously there are already a lot of differences between LR and LO in terms of the plot threads and how everything is being progressed, but this one turning point in particular is a huge one that fundamentally opposes one of the biggest flaws of LO that would define its downhill decline in its storytelling for the rest of its publication.

But for now, until we get there, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination ;3

---

As for the update schedule, I would honestly love to be able to return to the weekly schedule again, but currently my work-life balance is just not gonna allow for it :'0 For those unaware, when I'm not making Rekindled, I'm also working my day job as a contracted tattoo artist which comes with its own load of responsibilities and obligations, many of which are what I need to fulfill in order to do things like pay my rent and, y'know, not die LOL In terms of the work-life balance, even when I'm not working on Rekindled, there's still a lot of work taking up my life LMAO (including a second retail job that I've been doing a seasonal position for, though it's wrapping up at the end of the month~)

While I love making Rekindled and spend as much time as I can each week working on it (and I wish it could be like, the only thing I had to worry about LOL) it is still just a fanfiction project that I create for free, and so it just can't be at the top of my priority list, at least not without sacrifices from those other obligations - but those other obligations are, again, what I need to do in order to not only survive, but to ensure that I can afford to keep making Rekindled, even if it's at a slower pace than I would like.

That said, Rekindled is still a very high priority for me! It's just a matter of balance, and changing to a bi-weekly schedule was part of maintaining that balance. It was either that, or stick to weekly and make the episodes shorter, but I ultimately settled on the former option because it allowed for a healthier work-life balance (which is still not even super healthy but I'm working on it lmao) and because the rhythm of my writing wouldn't have worked as well in shorter doses, especially not with many of the plotlines we've been tackling as of late. It can be a drag to wait every two weeks, but it means I can bring y'all episodes that are fully realized to their full potential, rather than hacking them up into tinier portions that might not read as well and would require a drawing schedule that wouldn't fit well with my current circumstances.

All in all, while I do wish I could be back to making episodes on that weekly schedule, it's really only because I would love to bring you all more of the story more often, because there's a lot that I'm really excited to show you all! But the bi-weekly schedule is currently more viable for both myself, Banshriek, and the comic as a whole, because it means we get the time we really need to make every episode feel special with every update <3

[420days]

GQ COUPLES QUIZ | JEY USO

summary: jey & janey test how much they know one another

warnings : none

"Sweet face, which pair should I wear?" I smiled up at Jey, my boyfriend of three years, as I held up two pairs of earrings.

"I like the silver hoops baby. They match what you have on." He looked up from his phone and over at me.

Nodding my head I quickly placed the gold hoops into my ear and then pulled the silver Vintage Alhambra bracelet out my jewelry bag.

We just finished our photoshoot for GQ magazine and now we're getting read to film our GQ Couples Quiz to help our fans learn a little more about us.

"Help me pleaseee." I stood in front of him and held my wrist out so he could put the bracelet on for me. "Thank you." I smiled and looked down at my wrist once he was finished.

"Janey, Jey, they're ready for you." One of the producers poked her head into the room.

"Thanks Kara." Jey said before grabbing my hand and leading me to where we would be having our couples quiz. Valentine's Day was right around the corner so they had the set decorated in hearts along with little candy bowls.

"You want some candy babe?" I asked him as I looked through the bowl and tried to find some chocolate.

"I'll get some after we finish." He shook his head and then went to take his seat. I sat across from him and crossed my left leg over my right, getting comfortable in my seat.

"Fix your shirt babe." I said to him once I noticed the collar was slightly tucked on one side.

"Preciate you mamas." He said before fixing his collar and getting comfortable in his seat as well.

The producer counted down and we both introduced ourselves. Being the gentleman he is, he let me ask him questions about me first.

"So our beautiful fans wanna know how we met. Go ahead and tell them." I smiled before putting the card behind the others.

"I feel like it was just yesterday but I've actually saw her at this party my brother was giving and I was eyeing her all night. Of course I saw her on Instagram because she's a well known model but in person, mmm." He said making me laugh.

"Mmm what?"

"You had on this satin, tight fitted dress and I was to nervous to say anything to you for real until I saw someone trying to talk to you." He went on explaining.

"Yeah, you knew you had to snatch me up before somebody else did. You still didn't tell me why you were so nervous?" I rested my face in my hand.

"Cause you're this big ass supermodel with a whole lot of confidence and I didn't know if you were gonna take me serious."He shrugged his shoulders and smiled spread across my face.

"Well, you were a gentleman and approached me with a lot of respect. That immediately got you sum browniepoints in my book." I smiled before moving on the the next series of questions.

"Where's my dream travel destination?" I asked him and watched as he actually had to sit and think about it.

"Baby, you don't know this?" My jaw dropped slightly as I looked at him. He ran his hand through his beard and laughed lightly.

"You gotta cut me some slack. I feel like your answer changes like every two months." He shook his head.

"You're so dramatic, it does not change every two months. There is more than one answer if that's what you're getting at."

"Yeah, cause you be on TikTok getting ideas but ima say you really wanna got to Barbados cause your family is from there." He said, still unsure.

"Mmh, and where do I want to travel with you. We literally talked about it on our flight." I twirled my foot around and waited for his answer.

"Oh! St Lucia, right?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Mmh, you know I'm an island gal."I nodded my head with a small laugh.

Of course he knew the answer to all the basic questions like my hometown, birthday, and the details of our first date. I loved how the questions went from being simple to more complex.

"What's one tradition I would like to past down to our kids?" I smacked the cards against my hand and watched as he thought about it. There was so many different answers to the question so he honestly couldn't get it wrong.

"Jey, you know this." I added while waiting for his response. "There's so many answers."

"Y'all see how she calls me Jey when she gets serious? She's applying some heavy pressure." He pointed towards me making the production staff laugh while I playfully rolled my eyes.

"Oh please, just answer the question."

"One thing I love about you is how family oriented you are. I know you would love for us to actually eat dinner together at the dinner table. Holidays are also a huge deal to you so we will be decorating for them.” He gave me a wide smile as I blushed.

"I can give him extra points for that answer, right? Y'all heard how sweet my baby was?" I asked the camera crew as I looked at the camera.

"I'm always sweet for you." He flirted with me.

Once he finished answering my questions it was his turn to ask me some questions and he was not letting up on me. Not to mention his questions matched his personality, goofy and exciting.

"Babe, I know the answer but I can't say it out loud. The people are gonna be in our business." I giggled

"I mean you can forfeit your point." He held his hands up and shrugged his shoulders.

"No, come here." I motioned my finger towards him and watched as he leaned in closer to me. I placed my hand on his arm for leverage, allowing me to whispered his guilty yet dirty pleasure into his ear.

He instantly began to laugh and leaned his head against mine as he did.  I knew his body better than him and he couldn't even deny it. I placed my hand on his leg before sitting up and fixing myself in my seat.

"Yeah, that's a point." He nodded his head, trying to control his laugh as he damn near wiped tears from his face while I did a dance in my seat.

"A point!" I smiled.

"Okay, okay, what accomplishment am I the most proud of outside of my wrestling accomplishments?" He asked me and I thought to myself a little bit.

"Mmh, I'm gonna saying being able to provide for your family but most importantly being able to give your mom the life she deserves. So buying her a house and stuff like that?"

"You know me so well." He leaned back in his seat and nodded his head. He then gave me bonus points for answering the question with multiple correct answers.

Ultimately at the end I got more questions right than Jey but he did get all the personal questions correct. He was the kind of person who knew the details that were most important and that's all I cared about.

"So this is how many points you got." I held my hands up where the numbers would appear on the screen showcasing a 23/25 in blue bubble letters.

"And this is how many you got." Jey smiled and watched as 25/25 appeared on the screen in pink bubble letters.

"Damn you know me, huh?" He looked over at me.

"Of course I know my man, silly." I leaned over and kissed his lips, sweetly.

tags: @bebesobrielo @trentybenty @amandairene88 @kiki1704 @paigereeder @uceyliyahh @skyesthebomb @cyberdejos2 @chloeijuana @tian-monique

[shatcey]

Hi, I do not know if you are still here or if you have already returned to the real world (it sounds like you are a bird in a cage), but either way, I think I need to say a few words to you. Some might say "a lot", but for me it's "a few".

I know exactly what you mean. I also translate using apps, and it's really tough. I use a lot of apps and rephrase sentences so many times to make them sound "pretty." It indeed took a lot of time. And sometimes it seems that I'm not translating from Japanese, but from a very strange language that no one except us who read mechanical translations even aware of. It's a really odd language. But I'm only translating screenshots. I'm really impressed with how you managed to translate an entire chapter in 4 hours. You must be a magician.

I think that translators, no matter what they use, knowledge of the language or applications, do a hell of a job. It's incredibly hard and absolutely ungrateful work. So they are SAINTS by definition. And it's very difficult when you spend hours and days on something, put a lot of yourself into it, and people don't notice it. The desire to do something serious disappears. What's the point, right?.. If this happens to me, I think there are people who really like what I do and who are waiting for it. There aren't many of them, but there are such people. And I don't wanna disappoint them. It's not about numbers. Even if I'm doing something for one person, it's already a lot, because I'm not just doing it for myself. I got emotional, sorry.

What you're experiencing right now is emotional burnout. It seems that many of us feel the same way these days. I think it's something like winter depression (is it a thing?) or vitamin deficiency (don't forget to eat fruits and vegetables!). I feel tired myself, and sometimes I really wonder why I even spend so much time on this. But I can't stop. It's like I'm running on the surface of the water: if I stop, I'll drown. But YOU CAN stop. You can go back to real life. For a few weeks, even months, look around, get some fresh air, so to speak. You can try to remember why you started this in the first place. This is a HUGE project. You knew from the very beginning that it would be difficult. What was the reason that inspire you to start? What motivated you to continue? And maybe if you remember that, you'll find the answer to your question, whether you want to continue or not.

No one is forcing you to do anything. You may or may not complete this project. It's up to you. The most important thing is that you enjoy the process. So take your time and be free to do what you want (isn't that too much sound like William?).

In conclusion, I want to say that you have done a lot and you have done it splendidly. And I want to say thank you very much, because I am sure that many are just shy or forgot to say it.

Maybe it's because I'm in a really bad mood currently but I'm really not sure if it's even worth it posting my translations anymore. I know I've been slow and I know it's machine translated but I still put a lot of work into it. Using several translators to get the truest meaning possible, changing the flow of words, looking up english terms because it's not my main language. I need about 3-4 hours for one chapter, that's a lot considering I've got work and school and a high need for sleep.

I know people surely got their reasons for not interacting with my translations anymore. Anymore because when I started with Ellis' main route tl, I was swarmed and now the interactions have gone down to about 5 likes per tl. I'm aware that I have 2 or 3 people who basically hit the like button right after I post and I'm truly grateful I've got at least these few people but it still kinda hurts, you know? Putting in so much time, all for naught basically.

I could only keep myself kind of motivated to continue translating by focusing on specific parts of Ellis' route where I wanted to know what was actually going on. But now that I've reached the last avatar story of the blind end, I basically know the gist of his story.

Maybe some of you wonder now 'wait, blind end? you only posted up to chapter 14.' Yes, you read that right. My motivation is so low that I ask myself 'why even bother posting fast anymore?' It's not like that's going to change anything.

Am I fishing for compliments here? I guess I am. I'm a person who needs positive, supportive words to continue. You know, some kind of recognition. I'm not saying that likes aren't enough, but compared to reblogs or even a little 'thank you' or 'I hope you're doing good, don't pressure yourself', posts with only likes simply get lost in the vast world of tumblr.

For anyone who has read that far, I hope you aren't put off by me. I'm simply a person who always works their ass off because that's the only way for me to feel valid in this world.

[puppppppppy]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[itspileofgoodthings]

my seniors have been so quiet all year and it’s been fine cause we’ve had a lot of writing/research to do but I need them to talk to me now so i was hit by a bolt of inspiration two days ago and I made them all tell me their comfort level with sharing aloud, rating themselves on a scale of 1-10. I then averaged the class score and they’re a 4.5. I then told them yesterday we needed to raise the score the tiniest bit. And the 1’s and 2’s didn’t need to be 10’s just maybe 3’s and 4’s. And they tried! They talked more 😭

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

almost january which means it's almost st sebastian's feast day which means it's almost light yagami's death day which means it's almost february which means it's almost valentine's day which means im six months behind on all of my projects

[luderailing]

Lat 🖋️

[eightspringdays]

You know what has always seemed funny to me is that Mello has some kind of relation with fire (the explosion and then the fire in his death), and at the same time, his real name is the same one of the arcangel known for having a flaming sword (even tho never stated in the bible but he's represented with one in almost everywhere for interesting reasons but no one gives a shit about that)

which i totally think is a stretch of my part because based on platinum end, ohba's vision of religion is almost the equivalent to the opinion of a 15 yo edgy incel that likes reddit too much

but still funny to me. it's also funny considering the name literally means "who is like god?" because, technically speaking, michael will never be like god, he's the protector and fighter. his name is almost the statement "no one will be like god" which I think is funny considering that the one who tried to be like god was cast out to hell, like u know, the good-looking angel that in some depictions is actually a very manipulative entity that convinces some angels to get into his side and fight with him and was defeated by this said arcangel

that's very funny to me