#i do not know much about the outside world.... or where people hoard resources like scenes 💦

[fisheito]

Started playing NuCarni 2 weeks ago it's so fun i love everything. But I wanna know is there any way to access past event stories??? I wanna read them and learn more abt the characters but obviously bc I wasn't there for them they're. Locked. And I can't read em. Idk man I've been an enstarrie for 4 yrs and counting so I'm used to every event or scout story being available somewhere on the internet so I can binge read to my hearts content so maybe I'm just being silly rn but I can't find anything so I'm asking u (bc ur blog makes u seem like a nucarnival god tbh praise be)

2 weeks ago!!! wow!! welcome to this pit of eternal suffering!!!!!! (i'm actually having quite a nice time don't tell anybody)

i bet my followers know more about nucarni than i do AHAHA (pls chime in if yall want!!)

i have no helpful advice... because any events i DID miss when i started playing (White Storm/Zest of Life)? i was still playing when the reruns happened the following year so ...i got em... thru accidental waiting......yeah.... sorryy..........

[concealeddarkness13]

All's Fair Revamped Powerpoint!

Content warning for mentions of death and abuse. Yes, I have made a Powerpoint for this now-monstrosity of a story. Please see this post and this post for more info. This is gonna be long. Tagging: @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @drabbleitout, and @grailfish, also @mr-orion!

[Image Description: A page titled: All's Fair in Love and War (Especially When It's Both)

AKA: I'm revamping All's Fair and merging some of my stories because it's fun. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Overview

So, this has changed a lot

It’s now a cyberpunk story!

Lots of lore

Unsure where to start, lol

This world was dying in the past, and the Celestials had gone to save humans from another world that was dying

The original humans of this world took matters into their own hands, and even though they did not have a seed of Primary like other worlds, they took their source of life and somehow brought a chunk of land up into space, making an artificial moon

This becomes the world of Bring Me That Horizon

The Celestials come back to a dead world, but they brought humans and their seed of Primary with them, so they settled on the planet

The seed of Primary is not able to fully revive this world, and the humans are using the seed as an energy source as well, so there’s just a little pocket of an empire that controls all the resources while the rest of the world is basically dead

The other species are pissed at the Celestials and the original humans for abandoning them, and they had to change into parasites to even find anything to feed on

Both the other species and humans are rich and control what goes on in the empire; the humans have their religion that worships the Celestials though, and the species want to fight the Celestials

Everyone also keeps talking about the “paradise” of the artificial moon, and the emperor has figured out how to bring it back down to the main planet. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: The Species

A little bit different from the original

The original humans: being up on the artificial moon with none of the other species for a long ass time, emphasized their predator-like qualities; they have slit pupils and more carnivorous teeth, and their diets are a lot more carnivorous too; they can eat plants, but they don’t do much for them

The new humans: have more prey-like qualities; they tend to stay in groups and don’t like to be alone, they have pointed ears that help them hear better, and they have an easier time telling when the other species are pretending to be human

The Shades: we’ve done this song and dance so often, everyone knows what the Shades are, lol; parasitic shapeshifters that feed off of human emotions and can control one person if they can see them

The Faeries: a combination of the Snakes and the shadow species I had made; they feed on human blood, and they have snake scales over their skin, fangs, slit pupils, and tails; if their prey is within a certain distance of them, they can give the prey an order, and they have to follow it

The Venus Girdles (temporary name): they are mostly the same, feeding off of human souls with hair that looks like Venus Girdle jellyfish; they tend to keep to themselves outside the empire, stealing humans to feed on. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: The Empire

Formed up once the humans came with a new energy source

The wealthy and influential of the species and humans joined together and made the empire to hoard resources and make people dependent on them; they also include companies that make prosthetics and androids

The rich humans all worship the Celestials

Most of the rich of the other species hate the Celestials

There’s a poor area where most of the citizens live and are demonized, and I’m calling it the undercity right now, but the name most likely will change, lol

They have cops and controlled soldiers through chips in their brains (victims of the prosthetics experiments) to “keep the peace”, which means that they terrorize the undercity, and everyone thinks that anyone who has the prosthetics from the experiments is a soldier, and they see the victims as less than human and monsters. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: The magic

We still have the prosthetics experiments, but in a different context!

The elemental magic works basically the same as before, with both pros and cons, at least to begin with

There’s also the crystal magic from Bring Me That Horizon, where the person who has this magic glows and can turn liquids into crystals that are stronger than diamonds, and that they can control; the Shades on the artificial moon have control of it at the moment

There’s also the Celestial magic a person can get if they are the child of a Celestial, where they can turn into a dragon, anticipate what their opponent will do, and have light and lightning magic

There’s also this opposite magic that comes from a spoiler, where a person can turn into a phoenix, anticipate what their opponent will do, and have darkness and black fire magic

Guess who has those first three? End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: The Rebellion

Instead of the peaceful vs. violence movement, we have the rebellion

The religion preaches absolute peace, even ignoring and not helping the victims of violent crimes

The rebellion wants to fight against the empire and also has a distrust of the religion

The prosthetics experiments do come from this now, but there’s someone who’s using it for other plans

Thorne, Jude, and Irina are part of the rebellion at the start of the story

The rebellion is desperately looking for a symbol of the rebellion, and who better but a “reformed soldier”? End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Characters

Holy shit, there will be a lot

I have merged four stories because I want to suffer

But I love them all, and I do have a plan to at least start this story with all of the POV characters being at the same party, so they’re at least linked, lol

I will first talk about the four POV characters. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Chess

The woman, the myth, the legend

She is my blorbo that I will never shut up about

I have given her all of the trauma

So, her real name is Ezra, and she was actually from the artificial moon and put through the Shades’ training (torture) to receive the crystal magic

So, her parents are actually alive for once!!!

But then Churi, the lead Shade, knew that Aeflin was looking for a weapon, and he thought Chess would be perfect for that, so he sent her there

There will be more about the prosthetics experiments in Naivi and Aeflin’s entries, but long story short, Chess got the Celestial magic and her fire magic, and she was sent to fight and kill some people, and she got epilepsy, and her chip broke, and she lost her memory

Then Ashont was horrible to her for a while, longer than in her original backstory

And now, she’s on the streets, getting abused by so many people, and just trying to survive

She has an awesome style, especially wearing a muzzle and a badass coat

Her hair is still super long and curly, but she has shaved the right side of her head

Still super traumatized about sex and trusting people and having any kind of happiness whatsoever

A black cat she named Mush does follow her around, and they have become very close

She is super overpowered, even if she doesn’t know it at the beginning of the story, but she deserves it

Sassy and flirty and loves stealing, she also has super low self esteem and thinks she probably is a monster.

“Baby don’t forget my name when the morning breaks us. Baby please don’t look away when the morning breaks us.” Bittersweet by Ellie Goulding

“Oh darling get me drunk and make me feel.” I Want to Live by Borislav Slavov

“I’ve been digging up every constellation, travelling galaxies without a station, faithful to my made up mission. I never felt like enough.” One by Kerli. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Vesper

She is part of the Celestial religion and does try to convince people to be peaceful

She advocates for ignoring the victims of violent crimes because the religion believes only when humans are fully peaceful will the Celestials come back to live with and rule over the humans

She is also the religion’s liaison with the other species, and she especially works with Maisa

He is an asshole, but she endures him because she thinks it is vital for her to do whatever to keep good relations with the other species

She is very smart book-wise, but doesn’t really have street smarts

She’s totally autistic

She will learn to grow and challenge her beliefs throughout the story

I love her

Because Chess’s parents are alive, her parents have been killed (joking, there’s a narrative reason for them being dead in this one). End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Irina

Hers is the most personal story with the least amount of worldwide calamity potential

Basically, she’s the daughter of the CEOs of an android company, and she has always thought of androids as people, so she’s been kind to them

Her parents hate that

She finally ran away from them five years ago, with her dog, Briar

But Briar got sick, and in desperation, Irina paid for her memories to be transferred into an android version of her dog, so she has android Briar now

But the company she got Briar from is her parents’ company, and even though she fully paid for Briar, after two years, the company is trying to take Briar back

They send an android named Vortex to take Briar back, but Vortex decides to find some loopholes to stop himself from actually taking Briar

Her parents are gonna get pissed about that too

When she ran away, Irina met Thorne and Jude and became part of the demon trio

They are all three hellions, and I love it

She is a little concerned with the leadership of the rebellion, having seen Aeflin there, and she knows Aeflin is a well-known scientist who’s working with leaders in the empire

I can assure you that Irina and Briar are gonna make it and have a happy ending. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Eclipse

Yes, the Celestial Story is the one that I haven’t talked about merging with All’s Fair yet

Surprise!

Eclipse is from the artificial moon, and their parents were killed, and they were captured by the emperor

They don’t know they have a Celestial parent and have Celestial powers

They’re proper but internally sassy, lol

I love them

A lot of their beginning story will stay the same; the party that everyone will be at in the beginning of the story will be a celebration of capturing Eclipse and bringing the paradise back down so “everyone” can use its resources

They want to kill the emperor and empress

The emperor wants them for their magic, and he also wants to learn more about the secret as to how they remained a paradise, but Eclipse is not even sure. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Creed

Half Shade, half human

Genderfluid, enjoying he/him, they/them, and she/her pronouns at different times (I’ll just use they/them for this slide, to not be overly confusing)

They were picked up off the streets of the undercity and adopted by a rich couple as part of a program that was out to “prove” that anyone can make it in the empire

They have been an overall nuisance ever since

They meet Chess at the party and go make out with her and have sex with her, and they cause a scandal

Which also turns the eyes of the rebellion on Chess to use her as the new face of the rebellion even though that’s the last thing she wants

As an apology, they decide to stick with Chess and help her out

Don’t know much about them for this version of the story yet, but they’re fun. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Thorne

One of the demon trio

He is a little asshole with Jude, with Irina being slightly more diplomatic but still an asshole

He despises the empire and the Celestials

His parents were the controlled soldiers, and they were hurt and thrown into the undercity for having him

There, they were abused and died, and Thorne blames the empire and the religion for it, since he knows the other people in the undercity are just trying to survive too

He likes waxing poetic at times

He’s more outwardly serious than Jude and Irina, but he likes getting into shenanigans with them

His assignment with Jude at the beginning of the story is to capture Vesper

He still captures her with Jude by dancing with her until she’s exhausted. End Description]

[Image description: A page titled: Jude

Also a little shit

He came from a wealthy family, but when he met Thorne when he tried to steal from Jude’s family, Jude decided to become friends and help Thorne, eventually culminating with running away from his parents and joining the rebellion with Thorne

He is super flashy in both his looks and his speech

He loves making jokes about every situation. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Vortex

My boy, he must be protected

He first started out as a pleasure android, but when he killed his owner after being abused, he ran to the undercity and almost got hurt, but Chess saved him

He now follows Chess around like a puppy when he can

It takes a lot for him to get a crush on anyone, but he totally will at least fall in love with Irina and Chess in this story

He’s extremely serious and insists that he isn’t a person

He also named himself Vortex because it sounded cool

Once he is sent to bring Briar back, he checks to see if Irina had been abusing Briar, and when he realizes that she hasn’t and actually loves Briar very much, he finds loopholes so he doesn’t actually take Briar back

He still has to pursue Irina though, but she knows that, he makes it clear to her that he has to

Which is how he falls in love with Irina, by being there for her and helping her keep Briar away from the company and her parents

They will go through some shit, but it’ll be interesting, and Vortex might just finally acknowledge that he’s a person at some point. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Ashira

She prefers to go by Ash

She’s a Faerie and the emperor’s daughter

Eclipse is forced to marry her, and they both want to use the other, and they both think it’ll be a loveless marriage

Lol, JK

They fall in love, especially after Ash tells Eclipse that she wants to kill her parents too

She has been abused by her parents and led to believe that the only way she’ll get anything from anyone is to manipulate them

She is very cynical about the world, but her relationship with Eclipse will help her heal

She’s manipulative and a jerk, and I love her. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Nesri

She’s from the artificial moon, and she received the crystal magic from the Shades around the same time as Chess

So, she knew Chess as Ezra and they were best friends

Unfortunately, Chess doesn’t remember Nesri anymore

When the artificial moon is brought back to the planet, the pirate crew she’s part of will totally be fighting the empire

She escaped from the Shades and joined the pirates and has never looked back

Her new pirate family is helping her heal from the trauma

She adores fighting, and will do anything for her captain Triel, especially. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Triel

The other woman, the myth, the legend, lol

She always must be seen with her wide brimmed hat and long ass coat

I love her so much

Chaotic chaotic

She is a super competent captain who is always two steps ahead of everyone else

And she absolutely knows about Chess from Nesri and wants to help her

She sees the artificial moon being brought to the planet as a perfect opportunity to do so

She will destroy you with her words first and then send Nesri to destroy you physically

Always smirking. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Shine

They are deaf and the best engineer

Holy fuck, I just realized that Shine and Naivi can actually meet, hell yeah

They’re the engineer of Triel’s crew, and they are the best

Super sassy, they love to insult people in sign language

The whole crew knows their sign language, so they mostly communicate in sign for Shine

Oh shit, I just realized that I really will need five POVs (with Nesri) because this storyline will be super important too, damn

Back on track: they have a small dragon named Mina, who responds to sign language

They don’t let anyone else in the engineering room, and they have an iconic sign to keep people out, especially Nesri, lol. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Naivi

Yeehaw, the enemies to lovers is still strong!

But different!

So! Naivi is half Venus Girdle half human, and she escaped from their city where they treat humans like pets

It was all really bad

But she gets to the empire, and she’s demonized by everyone, she learns to hide her non-human features, and she learns to hate the religion even more

She hates the Celestials and thinks that they are horrible gods and should be killed for how they let this world get so bad, that if they’re killed, humans will stop waiting for them to come

She devises the prosthetics experiments to make an army to fight the empire and the Celestials

One problem: Aeflin takes interest and “helps” her

Which means Aeflin takes away the victims and sends them off to be controlled soldiers which will be doing the exact opposite of what Naivi wants

She realizes this and makes a secret army without Aeflin knowing

Except, JK! She does, and she sends her own weapon, Chess, to devastate Naivi’s army (this is where Chess loses her memory and gets her epilepsy)

Chess does destroy Naivi’s army, but that just makes Naivi want to use her instead as a one-person army

Not sure how, but Naivi doesn’t know where Chess went, so she’s searching for her, and it’s when the rebellion decides to use her as their face of the rebellion, that Naivi finds where Chess is again

Which means she can totally start manipulating Chess into fighting the Celestials first and then the empire

This will turn into enemies to lovers, but there will be some fun stuff first of course

Naivi is honestly so obsessed with her own idea of justice that she’ll hurt any and everyone to get what she wants

At least until it’s the person that she has a crush on who almost dies, then she starts rethinking everything, yeesh. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Aeflin

The epitome of being a mad scientist trope

She’s a Shade who really just wants to be evil for the science reasons

Wants a weapon who will kill a Celestial so she can dissect said Celestial

She actually doesn’t care about any of the politics of the other antagonists, she just wants to do science, is that so wrong?

She’s tortured and killed and ruined so many people for science

All with a smile and a bubbly personality

I love to hate her. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Maisa

The asshole Shade who wants to be evil for politics reasons

He despises the Celestials and wants to kill all of them

For different, but actually similar reasons, than Naivi

He’s also super horny, in an asshole way

Has tormented Vesper all for his game

He sees humans as pawns in the Celestial’s game, and thinks that he’s equal to the Celestials (just realizing this), so he sees humans as pawns for himself too

Lots of fun. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Ashont

Ass-ont, am I right?

He’s the only straight character in this whole story, lol

And he’s awful about it

He’s the first person Chess meets after losing her memory, and it’s not a coincidence

He abuses her and calls her a monster and tries to hold onto her, but she finally gets to escape

She actually hurts him before she escapes, and which scarred his face

He is now even more obsessed with Chess and wants to capture her again because he’s a creep

I hate him so damn much, don’t even love to hate him. End Description]

[Image Description: A page titled: Ares

My child, she is the best ever

But she technically will be an antagonist for most of the story, so she needs to stay in the antagonists

An 18 year old who had her life ripped from her when the artificial moon was brought down to the planet

When the emperor sent soldiers to kill Eclipse’s parents and capture Eclipse, they devastated the city around the palace

The soldiers killed Ares’s parents while she was hiding but hearing their screams, and when she left her hiding place, she found that everyone else she cared about was killed too

She blames Eclipse and their parents, and she decides she wants to kill them

She stumbles upon Triel’s crew, and she’s part of the big lore reveals, and she gets the phoenix magic in order to kill Eclipse

She’s so angry and so valid

She has all the righteous anger of a teenager fighting a god

She won’t remain an antagonist, but she’s tons of fun. End Description]

[reversalsun]

Explaining Rainbow Drinkers

I’m a decade wiser and return to the Homestuck fandom with a degree in biology and a desire to use it for evil. Lets talk about Vampire Troll Girls.

We get very little from the actual canon of Homestuck about Rainbow Drinkers, just Kanaya, Porrim, and a few hints of lore scattered about. Still, they’re one of the most interesting parts of troll culture - rare and strange, feared but also obsessed over in fiction and mythology. They may be analogous with vampires in the pop culture fascination surrounding them, but I don’t believe that they’re all that similar in function. So let's speculate on how Rainbow Drinkers could function on a biological level and how they fit into greater troll society. 

Rainbow drinkers don’t seem to be literal undead, but rather a functional state that some Jadebloods have the potential to enter into. Yes, Kanaya only becomes a rainbow drinker after “dying”, but death isn’t strictly what made her a rainbow drinker. In fact, I’d argue that Kanaya never actually died - rather she reached a near death state. This state, I believe, did kickstart her transformation. 

The most important thing to zero in on here is rainbow drinker being an inborn trait. Contrast this with how vampirism in human mythos is treated like a pathogen - no one is born a vampire, you become one via infection. RD is hardwired into Jadeblood biology, but it isn’t expressed in their default state. This raises a question: what causes a Jadeblood to undergo transformation into a rainbow drinker? Answering this is a little difficult, as we have a pitiful data pool of one to draw from. Nevertheless, we can examine Kanaya (as well as some dubiously canon content) to extrapolate a bit more about sparkly troll vampirism. Kanaya undergoes transformation into a RD when she is blasted through the stomach and seemingly killed by Eridan’s science powers. Off screen she regains consciousness, begins glowing, gulps down some friend blood, then returns with a vengeance. How do we explain this without leaning on the supernatural? Let's start by drawing on real world bloodsuckers. 

Little may be known about Alternia, but planet Earth is abound with creatures that subsist on blood. Mainly the trait is seen in bugs and parasites - this lends itself to our cause, as trolls seem to be more insectoid than mammalian in nature. Hematophagy (blood drinking) is a trait that has convergently evolved in creatures across the planet - that is to say, hematophagic creatures aren’t genetically related. The trait crops up on its own because it's widely useful, not because of a shared ancestral nematode. Vital fluids, after all, are incredibly prevalent and are in sure supply wherever animals live. It’s not farfetched to say that hematophagy would appear on other planets - especially planets like Alternia that are host to carbon based lifeforms similar to Earth’s. 

We can safely assume that blood drinking would work in the same way on Alternia as it does on Earth. That means rainbow drinkers face the same difficulties that Earth’s vampires do. Blood is not only difficult to obtain, but it’s also difficult to digest. So how do rainbow drinkers solve these conundrums? 

First, the method. Most terrestrial bloodsuckers are nocturnal - and not just for the spooky aesthetic. Fluttering, crawling, and slithering in on a sleeping host lessens your chance of being swatted on impact. Almost all hematophagic creatures are stealth feeders, and Rainbow Drinkers are no different. Trolls are a nocturnal species, but Kanaya is stated to be diurnal upon introduction. It would make sense for her and other potential Rainbow Drinkers to have a natural proclivity for daywalking, as it's much easier to feed from a sleeping troll than a waking one. Kanaya is also able to withstand the fierce, burning Alternian sun - a force which is enough to blind Terezi, and leave any troll who walks out in it for too long with a scathing sunburn. Even Jadebloods that are not currently or will never be rainbow drinkers are likely to exhibit non standard troll sleeping patterns, as they live primarily in the brooding caverns - dark, underground caves where the sun cycle wouldn’t really matter to them. When they do leave their caves to hunt, the glowing, white skin of a Rainbow Drinker would likely be a large boon against the Alternian sun’s devastating rays. In Friendsim we’re told that Lusii’s bright white coats help to protect them from the sun. It’s likely the same for rainbow drinkers; the color white reflects all wavelengths of light far better than any other, thus their radiance and pale complexion provides them an extra level of defense when they’re out hunting. Friendsim also vaguely mentions Rainbow Drinker extract in Tagora’s route, where it’s used as a luxury skincare/beauty product that makes a troll’s skin look literally radiant. Very little is said about the product itself, so it may be a hormone or a secretion derived from Rainbow Drinkers. In the case of the latter… Kanaya and other Rainbow Drinkers might just be really greasy? 

Now, in canon Kanaya theorizes that Rainbow Drinkers glow because of their home in the near pitch black caverns. It’s true that even with trolls' natural night vision, more light sources would be a boon. Animals that thrive in the dark like cats and wolves can’t magically see without a light source, rather their eyes are specially adapted to reflect even scant amounts of light. Animals that live in true darkness, like those found in the depths of caves, are more commonly blind. If no light is present, even night vision fails. With the mother grub’s natural habitat being subterranean, her special attendants possessing an internal light source would make sense. 

We have to change gears now and reckon with the How of troll blood drinking and Kanaya surviving. First: how can a troll survive on blood? We know that all trolls - even Kanaya, subsist on diets of foods akin to what you and I eat. Is it even possible to suddenly switch to a blood diet? The answer is yes. Blood drinking comes in two forms: obligatory and facultative. Obligatory, as the name implies, refers to creatures like fleas and ticks who only consume blood, whereas facultative refers to creatures that have a mixed diet of blood and other foods. Mosquitos for example only drink blood when they need to produce eggs. Rainbow Drinkers are likely similar - mainly eating standard troll goodies, but being able to rely on blood if the going gets tough. Natural resources may be scant in the brooding caverns, and the ability to survive on blood would be incredibly advantageous for those living there. Blood would of course be in no short supply given the population and purpose of the caverns. The implication I’m getting at is well… not every grub survives the caverns trials, or even the caverns in general. Between imperial drones, hoards of lusii, and difficult terrain, the brooding caverns can be dangerous. It would make sense for the troll denizens living there to be exceptionally tough and capable of “recycling” the grubs that don’t make it. Horrible. I’m sorry. But that’s nature. 

The transformation into Rainbow Drinker could very well be triggered by shock or extreme physical duress. After undergoing the transformation and taking a nice sloppy drink from her friends, Kanaya begins to exhibit increased physical abilities. Natural durability and rainbow drinker abilities serve Jades well in their special role as mother grub attendants, and I think that’s in part how Kanaya was able to survive Eridan’s attack. That, and the noticeable difference in how she and Feferi were hit. Fef was hit in the chest while Kan was hit in the stomach. Assuming troll biology is comparable to our own, cleaving out the lungs and heart is a lot worse than cleaving out the stomach. Now don’t get me wrong, both are awful, But if one of the two was going to survive, it would be Kanaya - not only is she a durable Jade (see above), but as a facultative blood drinker, it could be possible for her to have a separate stomachs for blood and food. The digestion process of the two is completely different, so throwing all of it into one pouch might not be a good idea. Outside of durability and luck with the placement of the blast, this could be why Kanaya was able to get back on her feet. And she’s a Sylph, a natural healer class. But this isn’t a classpect analysis, so I’ll leave that discussion for people wiser than I. 

Jadebloods are stated to be the second rarest blood type out there, and those that are able to turn Rainbow Drinker exemplify how badass the whole caste is. It’s likely that they don’t possess these skills because they’re the chosen attendants of the mother grubs, but rather these traits are why the mother grubs chose Jades as their keepers in the first place. As much as I wish we’d gotten more info about Rainbow Drinkers from canon, it was fun to explore how they could potentially work, and it really cemented Jades as my favorite caste. Anyway, please excuse me while I go draw myself a Rainbow Drinker trollsona. 

[autumnslance]

would you be willing to make a masterpost of all your sharlayan research and headcanons? please please please and THANK YOU if you do

I can certainly try! A lot of my info is from what little we have so far, and my own fics are where a lot of my headcanons go to live, with little snippets about various characters here and there in my scattered lore posts, as well as stuff I’ve collected from other players.

Other Resources In Louisoix’s Wake - The twins’ official Calamity short story on the Lodestone. One Name, One Promise - Thancred’s backstory, from Limsa to Sharlayan training to his early assignment in Ul’dah and then early Shadowbringers. Mirke’s Menagerie - A compilation of lore info from in game, lorebooks, panels, interviews, short stories, etc. There are about 4 or 5 Sharlayan-specific posts @mirkemenagerie has made.

Encyclopaedia Eorzea - If you can get your hands on copies (physical officially; digitally is Unofficial so far as I know), I recommend it! They’re both good reads, though EE 1 is the one with a blurb on Sharlayan as a nation.

Posts by Other People - that I have collected Leveva Comment About Archon Loaf - Keeping in mind Sharlayan’s bad cuisine has been canonical for years per lorebook 1. They care more about ease of eating while studying, also seeing culinary arts as an academic field, not a practical daily exercise. Lorebook 1 Astrologian Lore - screencaps from the lorebook. Phaedra’s Teen Scion Sharlayan Antics fic - I am happy to take responsibility for inspiring @phaedra-mero to write this delightful scene.

My Own Posts Red Mage Research - Includes books from Gubal Library. Scion Ages - Pointing out the ages of the Scions, particularly the Archons.

My Fics - Sometimes there’s more HC musings in the Notes and Comments. I try to stay close to canon, at least as it is when the fic was written. Rogue’s Prelude - Multichapter, teen Thancred meets Louisoix, Yda, and Papalymo. Written a year prior to Thancred’s official ShB story above. Aetherology & Skulking Boots-Beginnings - Y’shtola agrees to tutor Thancred in how to speak properly as teenagers in the colony. Chin Up - Yda gives Thancred advice as youths in the colony. Dreams of Home-Lucubration - Yda, Lyse, and Thancred in the colony. Younger Sister - Thancred’s relationships with the Hext sisters over time. In Violet’s Wake-Louisoix’s Children - A Master Matoya PoV from StB patches. There’s a brief chapter with her and Y’mhitra in Dreams of Home, too. Excerpts from other posts - things that ended up as commentary on other threads, with some editing since.

From a thread that started off as about Thancred’s Gear from ARR to HW:

Sharlayan is a nation on an island NW of Eorzea proper; the Sharlayan everyone we know hails from was a colony that became a city-state a few hundred years back and part of the Eorzean Alliance, in the Dravanian Hinterlands, where Idyllshire is now. After the fall of Ala Mhigo and then the Battle of Silvertear Skies, the Forum (their ruling body) decided to abandon the city and return to the motherland, a process that took 5 years before they all just teleported out in a day. Except Matoya, and those archons that worked for Louisoix and that he asked to stay and go to the remaining 3 Alliance cities. This would have been 15 years before ARR/Heavensward.

The Students of Baldesion are also Sharlayan; the Isle of Val, their headquarters, being under that nation’s banner. Sons of St Coinach are another offshoot; Rammbroes (Crystal Tower raid story) was originally part of Louisoix’s Circle of Knowing (who eventually became the Scions), and Y’shtola’s sister Y’mhitra is one of the Sons and part of the Summoner storyline.

Thancred got involved as a youth–by trying to pick Louisoix’s pocket, and impressing the old man with his skills, and so Louisoix brought Thancred back with him to give the kid an opportunity for study. Yda and Lyse escaped Ala Mhigo, and with help from Papalymo, who was part of an effort to help refugees seeking shelter in Sharlayan, they ended up there, and Yda is the one who actually became an archon.

Most of the other senior Scions, so far as I know, are native to Sharlayan, either the motherland or the colony. The Leveilleur twins were born in the Hinterlands Sharlayan, but raised in the motherland, as they were less than a year old when the exodus happened. The university they and Krile attended is the Studium. Becoming an Archon seems to be a separate process not everyone goes through, and is a demonstration of mastery in chosen field(s) of study. That’s the significance of the tattoos some of the Scions have on their necks or faces.

Sharlayan is basically a nation particularly focused on academia; the trouble is, for the last couple decades, it’s been controlled by a faction of isolationists who would rather hoard knowledge and sit in the proverbial ivory tower looking down on non-Sharlayans, claiming others would abuse their knowledge, and that they should simply observe history and not try to affect it. Louisoix, Matoya, and the organizations they associate with (the Circle of Knowing/Scions; Sons of St Coinach, the Students of Baldesion, etc), think that viewpoint is stupid and go against it. A big part of the Astrologian storyline is dealing with Sharlayans who dislike Leveva’s family sharing Sharlayan astrology with outsiders, for example.

What sort of relationship Sharlayan and Ishgard had before the exodus isn’t really detailed much; both were pretty insular and focused on their own issues (like many of Eorzea’s city-states outside of crises), and the Dravanian threat at the time might have kept them pretty separated by land. Sharlayan was responsible for Eorzea’s aetherytes and keeping the aethernets working, though, and it’s suggested they still handle that post-Calamity to some degree. We pay fees for teleports because reconstruction and upkeep is pricey for all of the city-states.

Next post:

The Isle of Val was the headquarters of the Students of Baldesion, Krile’s family and order, and was a Sharlayan institution. It’s destruction/missing status happened during the ARR patches, and Krile was saved by Hydaelyn as she has the Echo (as an aside: you can hear Minfilia talking to Krile via linkpearl in the background on the Enterprise after rescuing the Scions from Castrum Centri before Ultima, and she constantly refers to and worries about Krile after the Isle of Val goes missing, but then plot happened to Minfilia so we never see them together as friends). The Ascians seemed to have a hand in the Isle’s disappearance…but there’s story about the fate of the Isle of Val and the Students of Baldesion in Stormblood’s Eureka plotline.

As for the Archon Marks, if they do confer social benefits, aside from being an easily seen status symbol for some highly skilled & educated folks, it hasn’t been mentioned yet in concrete terms, though we know the rank has benefits (like access to forbidden lore). Mostly they are a way to tell at a glance who has obtained the rank. It’s like if people with doctorates had a tattoo of their degree symbol on them so you knew just by looking.

As of Shadowbringers 5.4, we know that to become an Archon a thesis is required, and it’s a great deal more work than a Studium graduate’s final thesis. It strikes me that Studium (which some of the Scion Archons also attended) is like undergrad or Masters studies, while Archon is a Doctorate level.

I personally headcanon that the arcane marks confer some minor, slowed visible aging and other vague magical benefits befitting their rank in Sharlayan society. Really, that’s a way for the devs to avoid new models and add to the confusion in 1.0′s intros and the running joke about Y’shtola’s age, BUT let’s come up with an in-world thing, too. There has to be some explanation for Thancred’s perpetual baby face when he’s not RPing a Mountain Hobo ;) Also we really don’t know for sure how old Matoya is. Just old.

Lorebook 2 Notes:

Mikoto Jinba (Return to Ivalice, Save the Queen storylines) worked on aetheric siphon research with Moenbryda, and at 29 is the youngest Raen with the rank of Archon in recent history. It was Jessie’s connections that brought her to Cid’s attention and got her involved in the Return to Ivalice story.

Ejika Tsunjika (Eureka storyline) went to school at the same time as Krile and Leveilleur twins, endorsed by Galuf Baldesion, who Ejika later chose to work under. He’s resentful of Krile and the twins as Ejika himself is of humble origins and had to struggle to get to where he is, yet hides his Archon brands with high collars as he refuses to believe himself unique or exceptional.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

I listened to the TAZ Grad finale!

Fellas is it gay to become imbued with the essence of the sea after influence from your water genasi teammate, pester said teammate afterwards to name a boat after you, and sail away with them into the sunset to run a cruise line scam and become morally righteous pirates?

Ive been looking at people’s reactions on the finale and yeah I loved the chaos magic parts! The whole issue with the mishandling of D&D mechanics was never really a problem with me, although I know some people feel more strongly about that than I do.

Personally, I’ve always listened to TAZ for the story and not the actual D&D so I never really took issue with any of the DM-ing mistakes Travis did. Parts of the actual story had problems (the centaurs, Ranier, other points where Travis tried to be inclusive but implemented it where it wasn’t relevant) but overall I think the enjoyable parts far outweighed the bad.

And the McElroys in general are funny as hell so even though Grad wasn’t as profound as Balance or as sad as Amnesty I still enjoyed it a lot! I would probably put Grad above Amnesty but below Balance, but of course Balance holds a special place in my heart.

A problem people had with the finale that I didn’t notice while listening was that of all their talk of “destroying capitalism,” the trio settled down to comply with capitalist society at the end. And while I do agree that the “this system is bad but let’s slowly make change from within” message has been done to death, I don’t think that the ending was necessarily performative and disingenuous on the McElroy’s part.

The first point is that even though the trio decided to participate in Nua’s society in stereotypically “exploitative” careers, (particularly in Fitzroy and Firbolg/Gary’s case) they did so explicitly to keep people from being exploited by the system. Not to mention their paths fit their character arcs pretty well. 

Fitzroy’s “who will protect the weak from the strong” speech doesn’t indicate a sleazy lawyer willing to exploit the law to make a quick buck. One person described him as one of those pro-bono lawyers and I agree with that comparison. Fitzroy is a morally good person at his core, and he initially thought the hero society would help him do good, and after becoming disillusioned with hero society, he decided to carve out his own system to allow him to do good, both by being a lawyer and by being a pirate that only attacks rich assholes. (I really like that he clarified he would only attack rich assholes my chaotic good lawyer boi <3)

Firbolg’s whole character arc of being conscientious of resources to help the community instead of hoarding things to himself, in my opinion, culminates neatly with his decision of becoming a financial advisor. He has learned that both the “share all your resources without regard for the future” ideals of the Firlbolg and the “hoard all your resources for your own benefit” ideal of Nua’s society are both flawed extremes, and has dedicated his career to helping communities find a balance between the two.

Argo’s cruise seems more of a small business to me than a capitalistic venture, but I have never taken an econ class in my life so I digress. His character arc was about finding something to live for other than the past and I think it’s a good conclusion to his arc that he commemorates his mother and friends with the cruise line but still seeks out his own future outside of that by becoming a pirate. His original plan was to go with the establishment and work with one of the most powerful heroes in the world until he gets revenge, so it’s nice to see him grow to find his own self sustaining outside of the establishment.

The second point is that TAZ Grad was never about destroying capitalism. That was a joke that Travis laid the foundation to, but it was the players who made that joke and rolled with it. Tumblr user @fitzroythecreator wrote a really good analysis of how the main theme of Grad was self reliance which I agree with. While that is one of the main themes, I will be focusing on the theme of capitalism that a lot of people tend to focus on.

The characters’ goal was to destroy the HOG, which was an allegory for how organizations function under capitalism, but never a direct parallel with capitalism as an ideology or functional system itself.

When they first joked about “ending capitalism” by blowing up the HOG I was concerned because that’s not how anything works. The HOG was just one cog (heh) in the capitalist machine that was Nua’s society, and while destroying it would cause significant damage and change, it wouldn’t immediately shift everyone’s worldviews to discard their capitalist society as a whole. If the boys carried out the mission and all of a sudden the whole world was fixed, it would be even more disingenuous to present a utopian solution to a pressing, real world problem that simply cannot be solved this way.

I’m glad that they didn’t end capitalism. Social issues like this can never realistically be resolved by three spunky heroes on an adventure. You would need action from an entire population. Often violent action. There were already issues with too many NPCs in the spotlight so describing and entire population’s uprising would have exacerbated the problems even more. As four white men, the McElroys neither had the answers for how to end capitalism, nor would their medium of a D&D podcast have allowed them to present them effectively.

From my perspective, the way they would have actually ended capitalism was to go to war like Chaos and Order wanted. In this case, the entire social order and way of life for Nua would have been overturned. The main characters, Fitzroy most vocally, reject this option because of the human toll (or elves, or dwarves...whatever the term for that is for D&D races). Instead, they disturb the system to expose its flaws and let society recognize said flaws in the background. (Again, they couldn’t focus too much on it as it would take away from focus on the main characters.) Then, they choose to find their own place in the system and fix it from within.

I’m not surprised that the McElroys would pick the “change the flawed system from within” route over the “use continuous and possibly violent action to force rapid social change” route in the end. While the second stance could work if written correctly, there’s a lot more room for the message conveyed to be catastrophically bad if the writing doesn’t work. I’m personally glad that the McElroys, who don’t have a solution, presented the tamer first take instead of trying to give a solution with the second take and failing spectacularly.

TAZ: Grad was social commentary on the problems of late stage capitalistic society, but it never tries to present a clear answer on how to end this society. Rather, it recognizes that this is a problem that can’t be solved by one small group of people. It presents several possible solutions to navigate this society to bring yourself happiness within this soul crushing system while slowly changing the attitude of the society. After all, if everyone quietly changed societal attitudes for the better, then perhaps one day the population will be united enough to bring about the drastic social change that we all hope for.

[jaskiersvalley]

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼 (for you're such a lovely person who shares so many beautiful fics with us and is always up for talking. ily

I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting on this ask because I just love seeing you in my inbox. But, like with everything, I need to stop hoarding and write a little thank you <3

Something wasn’t quite squaring up with Nilfgaard’s army. It spread at an alarming rate, much faster than a regular army could. Whatever sorcery the mages and sorceresses have concocted, it was terrifying. Such an army shouldn’t have been able to sustain itself, it needed food, water, resources to travel. Yet, despite all this, the army seemed to move silently, without the usual almost locust like destruction and draining of everything in their path. Nobody seemed to be able to pinpoint where the army was when it wasn’t fighting, only small scouting groups. People learned to be wary of those groups too. Wherever they went, the army was never seemingly far behind, backing them up at a moment’s notice. It was a mystery that was yet to be solved.

Finding a Nilfgaardian on the run was quite unusual. Eskel didn’t think it was something he’d live to see. They were usually so cocksure, travelling in their little groups. He had learned to spot them, even if they weren’t trying to make a scene. One leader, with five protectors. Those five tended to be on full alert and guarding their leader which was a bit odd, but then again, Nilfgaard as a whole was a bit peculiar.

The man Eskel spotted was obviously from the South, he heard him order, the accent harsh yet lilting at the same time. Watching him find the darkest corner - the one Eskel had wanted for himself - curiosity was winning out. Only a desperate man would share a space with a Witcher and this man, though he shrank away, steadfastly refused to move from the shadows of the corner.

“Got separated from your group?” Eskel liked to make small talk if he could. Especially when it helped solve a curiosity like the man opposite him.

“Something like that.”

Evasive, huddled and not looking Eskel in the eyes. The plot thickened. “So you ran away.” While the man didn’t seemingly react, Eskel could hear his heartrate pick up. “Why?”

Silence stretched. The man finished his food in a great hurry and was up, evidently not wanting any kind of company. Oddly, Eskel didn’t think it had anything to do with him being a Witcher.

The next morning the man was nowhere to be seen. But Eskel caught his scent and, with nothing better to do, he set off at a leisurely pace in the same direction. If they bumped into each other he could always claim it was a funny twist of Fate. He shouldn’t have joked about it, not even in his own head because, not a few miles out of the village, he found the evidence of a scuffle. The whole stretch of road had a tang of death to it which he couldn’t place. However, he soon forgot about it because he could smell blood and hear the pained, laboured breaths of someone. Rounding the small clump of bushes, Eskel tutted. “Run into trouble?”

“No.”

The blatant lie drew a laugh from Eskel. He had to admit, he was intrigued. Grabbing his pack, he approached the man, showing him his hands in an attempt to reassure that he meant no harm. In fact, he was offering a helping hand.

“Did they get what they wanted?” The question tripped from Eskel’s lips as he lifted the man’s gambeson away to reveal a cut to his side. It wasn’t deep but it was in the crease of soft flesh that tended to sting like a bitch, Eskel knew that from experience. His only reply was a shake of the head. “Good. You sent them packing by the looks of it. I’m impressed. My name’s Eskel by the way.”

Still no reply and the man tipped his head back, staring at the sky with gritted teeth while Eskel saw to his wound.

“Well, you’re in no state to travel alone. You headed anywhere in particular?” Another head shake but this time the man watched him with guarded eyes. “Okay. Why don’t we travel together for a bit. I can help keep you safe.”

“I can’t pay you for your services.” Clipped words that sounded tired. "And you probably shouldn't be around me."

It was cute, how the man seemed so determined to drive Eskel away without being cruel. Most refreshing. "I don't need your payment. As I'm not headed anywhere in particular, I figured we could both use a bit of company."

That settled the matter and, for three days they travelled in companionable silence, sticking to villages and heading north. It was only in a larger village that Eskel learned the man's name and not because they were getting more friendly either. The poster bore quite a good likeness to Cahir.

"So-" Eskel said as they camped outside the village, "-want to tell me why Nilfgaard thinks you're dangerous enough to not be approached but your sighting should be reported swiftly and discreetly?"

Cahir let out a world weary sigh, shoulders drooping. "I control a large portion of their army. They want me back for that."

Which was interesting. In Eskel's experience no general tended to command such loyalty. He was also a sucker for those in need. Plus, the chance to fuck Nilfgaard over was quite glorious. He smirked. "Want to come to Kaer Morhen to hide out for the winter?"

It was a bit of a trek north still but Cahir began to relax around Eskel. They shared their first kiss at the foot of the trail up to Kaer Morhen. A few more were traded along the way but, for the most part, they huddled for warmth, cuddled up for the cold nights.

Slowly the keep filled up with its regular winter visitors, all of them somewhat hesitant to greet Cahir until Eskel intervened with a pointed glare from behind him. Everyone settled in, Geralt turned up with Jaskier, Lambert and Aiden did their usual thing, even Coen managed to slip through the gates before the snow hit. Soon, they were all enjoying the roaring fires, drink and songs. Despite his army background, Cahir turned down all invitations to train and share knowledge. It didn't make him very popular but his cooking helped ease any grumblings.

It was all going well until a portal opened up and Yennefer stepped through. midway through greeting everyone she froze and turned to the door as Cahir stepped in.

"What are you?" she hissed, hand curling to cradle an unleashed spell.

"Nilfgaard's finest deserter."

That didn't seem to help ease Yennefer and she looked over Cahir with a critical eye. "I can see Fringilla's work in there with several others'. You volunteer for this?"

"Only as much as someone volunteers to be a Witcher."

"Just what is going on?" Vesemir rumbled. He had a hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to jump in. That had Cahir taking a step back, a pained expression.

"I wouldn't advise you hurt me. You have an awful lot of dead buried here."

The growl from Vesemir wasn't reassuring. "Don't threaten me in my own home, boy."

"Vesemir!" The warning came from Yennefer of all people. "Don't."

Something was crackling in their air, Eskel could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It was magic but not any kind he had felt before. Even worse, he could trace the source back to Cahir whose eyes were turning black slowly.

"I'm going to go outside. Please nobody follow." Stiffly, Cahir turned and marched out of the keep, into the snow covered woods. Silence reigned in his wake.

"The fuck?" Lambert spat, looking angry in his bewilderment.

As one, they all turned to Yennefer for an explanation. None of them had felt even a hint of magic from Cahir until that moment.

"That-" Yennefer pointed to where Cahir had been, "-is an unnatural necromancer. No innate ability but, with the right stimuli, can raise the dead between here and the bottom of the mountain."

The silence stretched until Jaskier cursed. "Now we know how Nilfgaard's army is sustained."

As big as the revelation was, Eskel had a bigger concern. That was his boyfriend who had just walked out, looking ready to be consumed by his unnatural powers. Stepping out of the keep, Eskel had to whistle. The whole area between the keep and the woods was covered in flowers, a carpet of green dotted with blossoms of colour. In the middle of it all was Cahir, kneeling, eyes closed and head tipped towards his chest. His breathing was forcedly even and deep.

"Go away," Cahir gritted out.

"It's just me."

Looking up, Cahir's eyes were black and bottomless, his breath hitched as a tear trickled down his cheek. "I didn't mean to. I promise. They're everywhere."

Eskel could hear the footsteps, shuffling and shambling. Not all of them human, one alarmingly large.

"Old Speartip," Eskel growled. From the forest around them an army of the undead approached. All the bodies they didn't have the means to burn after the sacking, Old Speartip from his cave, forktails they'd left dotted around the mountain, they were all approaching Kaer Morhen. Along with them came the smell Eskel had scented on the road where bandits had accosted Cahir, now he knew what happened back then.

Cahir let out a shuddering breath, hands curled into a fist. "Threats of violence and pain make them come."

"And when you feel safe, do they go away?"

A miserable nod was his answer and Eskel dropped to his knees. He gathered Cahir against his chest and kissed his softly, demanding all his boyfriend's focus to be on him. The noise of the undead around them stopped, under his knees Eskel could feel the grass wilting back to its winter state. Pulling away, he was pleased to see the blue of Cahir's eyes.

"I'll always keep you safe," he rumbled. A darker thought crossed his mind. "The groups of six scouts for Nilfgaard, they weren't scouts at all, were they?"

From the doorway, Eskel could hear the others shuffling around and peering out at them. But his attention was on Cahir and Cahir alone.

"A necromancer and their guards who're also their tormentors." Cahir sniffled. "There's a reason I've not joined you in the waterfalls. To raise an army, they did unspeakable things."

Eskel pulled Cahir tightly to his chest, wishing he could make everything better. Alas, there wasn't much to be done other than what he'd already been doing; supporting and loving to the best of his abilities.

"We now know better," he tried to reassure. "How would you feel if, in the spring, we continued to travel together? We can take any road you feel comfortable on."

Looking up at Eskel with wide, wet eyes, Cahir licked his lips. "I can't pay you for your services," he said, repeating his words from all those months ago. "But how would you feel about fucking Nilfgaard over? We could rescue a few more necromancers."

It was a daring plan but one that Eskel was intrigued by. So were the others when, over dinner, Cahir haltingly told them everything. The Path was unpredictable at the best of times, the coming year it was going to get even more convoluted.

[plus-size-reader]

Lifesaver

Abraham Ford x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1506 words

Warnings:none

Summary: Abraham saves your life, and you can’t help but feel indebted to him after that

——————————————————————————————————

You had just recently joined the construction crew of Alexandria a few days ago but you were a pretty fast learner and Deanna was confident that you would be okay. 

Still, you couldn’t help but be nervous about it. 

You weren’t really all that experienced outside the walls and you weren’t really itching to get out there where the dead were walking the earth. That wasn’t something you were super excited for. 

...But you knew that you had to do your part. 

Alexandria worked under the ideal that everyone worked for their keep and if this was where they needed you, then you were going to do your best for as long as you could. 

The day started out fine. 

You rode in with Torbin, Francine, and Bruce, immediately getting to work looking for parts and any bits of scrap metal you could use on the new addition to the wall. 

At your back, you heard Tommy and Torbin striking up a conversation with the newest addition to the crew, a redhead named Abraham. He was part of the group from the outside, and as best you could tell, he would be a good resource.

If nothing else, he was a big guy and as stubborn as a mule. You didn’t have to know him all that well to gather that much. It would be good to have someone like that around. 

...And as the day progressed, your opinion on the matter strengthened. 

There were no dead ones as best you could tell, or at least, there hadn’t been. Every once and awhile, a straggler would surface and one of you would have to put it down but never a herd. 

Never something like what you found yourself in the middle of right now. 

You had only taken down one or two of those things in your life, and you didn’t really have all the confidence in the world with those gnashing teeth and dead eyes staring you down. 

Frankly, you were sure that you were going to die when they started closing in around you but Abraham wasn’t going to let that happen. 

You had wandered a little farther from the perimeter than the others in your search for scrap metal but when you seemed to be in some trouble, no one moved to help you.

The entire crew, with the exception of Abraham, stood in their place, behind the cover of the truck as you tried your best to get out of the pickle you’d found yourself in. 

They were going to let you die.

Though, just as you came to terms with the fact that those dead bastards were going to tear you apart, a pipe came out of nowhere. Abraham had come racing to your side, and was smashing skulls left and right. 

It all happened so fast. 

You had no idea where he’d come from or why he would put himself in harm's way for you but by the time you could even comprehend any of that, they were already gone. 

The huge hoard of the dead that had gathered around you had all fallen victim to the male, and were scattered around you. 

“You alright there, Darling?” 

His voice came out of nowhere, a large hand falling on your back gingerly as if to shake you from the shock you were currently feeling. That was the first time you actually got a good look at Abraham. 

You had looked at him before, of course, but not like this. In this moment, you saw him in a different light than before. 

He wasn’t just some guy who had showed up and was going to help out. Now he was the guy who saved your life when no one else was going to and that affected you a little bit. 

Abraham could have died, but he came to your rescue anyway. What were you supposed to say after that? Did you thank him? Hug him? You had no idea. 

“Thank you” you started, knowing fully that wasn’t going to even cover what he’d just done for you, but it was a start. 

Not that he seemed to even see the gravity in what he’d just done for you. In fact, he actually shrugged when you spoke. It really didn’t seem like a big deal to him. 

“Don’t mention it” he hummed, reaching out to gently take your shoulders in his hands, trying to calm you. You were shaking like a leaf, understandably after what you’d just been through and he wanted to get you home.

The rest of the team could handle this while he was gone. 

After all they had just done, they could work their fingers to the bone and he still would have no sympathy for them. All those people who claimed to care for you would have left you to die. 

There was no excusing that. 

“Come on. I’ll drive you back” he offered, though it seemed much more like an order in the way he spoke. It was clear to you that Abraham wasn’t offering more than telling. 

You weren’t in a head space to keep searching for scrap, not out in the open. 

There would still be a spot for you on the crew tomorrow after you’d had some time to come to terms with what you’d just been through.

There was silence in the car on the ride over, though you took notice of the way his free arm stayed across the headrest of your chair. 

It made you feel protected and after everything he’d just done for you, it was only natural that you got a little more connected to Abraham than you did before. 

You couldn't help it. 

“I really do need to thank you. There was no way I’d still be here if it wasn’t for you” you spoke finally, your voice breaking through the silence.

Abraham, who had been focused on the road, let his eyes drift to the side to glance at you before snapping back, a small smirk on his face. 

“it's no big deal darling, really” 

There was a confidence in his voice, something that confused you, but you would be lying if you said it wasn’t comforting. There was something so nice about him, something you couldn’t have seen coming before now. 

It was a huge deal. 

Frankly, Abraham had saved your life and you had absolutely no idea how he was being so casual about this whole thing. Still, you could tell that he was really not searching for any kind of verbal thanks, so you let it go. 

Instead, you chose to focus on something else that you could do for him, that he probably hadn’t had in a while. 

“I’m going to make you dinner tonight, at my house, seven o’clock” you decided finally, waiting until it was time for you to get out of his truck before announcing that to him, so that he couldn’t refuse. 

After what he’d done for you today, especially when none of your own friends would, you owed him something and a home cooked meal was just the thing. 

...And before Abraham had a chance to argue, you were gone, just as you’d planned it. 

~

You had no idea what you wanted to make that would be good enough as a thank you, especially with all the restrictions you were under in rationing but you knew that you could make something work. 

Thankfully, you found a box of spaghetti in the back of your cabinet that you forgot about, and once you’d retrieved a few beers and a can of sauce for the pasta, you were all set. 

Now, you just had to wait for Abraham to show up, which he did, right on the dot. 

Honestly, you weren’t completely sure that he would come in the first place, but you should have known that with the background he had, there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d be late. 

“Thank goodness I wasn’t running late” you joked, opening the door immediately to him, a huge smile on your face. 

All Abraham could do was chuckle slightly, obviously a bit uncomfortable with the comment. Perhaps he should have waited a little longer before coming here. 

Though, before he could panic, you grinned. 

“It’s okay, I’m only teasing” you assured, reaching out to hand him a cold beer from your fridge. You weren’t completely sure how this was going to go, but you knew that you had to do this. 

As odd a request as it was, it was all you knew to do as any kind of thank you for what he’d done for you. 

If nothing else, it gave you a chance to get to know Abraham a little better than maybe you would have. Of all the members of his group, he just interested you the most. 

He was a blank canvas and you wanted so badly to fill in the blanks you had where he was concerned. 

 Besides, no one needed an excuse to have pasta anymore. 

[thegreenwolf]

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[silenthillmutual]

[ID: Anonymous said: this isnt like, a demand or request, just an expression of interest - you mentioned in your daniil-is-autistic post that you also think artemy is neurodivergent, and i would really enjoy seeing a similar post on that topic. thank you, have a nice day.]

(anon is referring to this post!)

i do have some thoughts that i would like to share about that topic! however comma, it probably will not be as in-depth as my post about daniil, as i am myself autistic and have had a couple years since being diagnosed to ruminate on places where that has affected my life, and so it’s easier to write about coming from a place of personal experience. i can do the same with depression, for the same reason.

i have a couple of ideas about what artemy could have:

adhd

ptsd

ocd

i won’t really be going into ptsd or ocd on this post because i feel like it’s more difficult to point the ptsd out (artemy doesn’t talk much about or flashback at all to being on the front) and because i think ocd should have its own post. it is severely misunderstood, even by other neurodivergent people. plus i think all four of the healers have it (or aspects of it), and this post is about artemy.

i feel like… something about the dsmv diagnostic criteria for adhd feels condescending to me, like it feels the way it’s worded places a lot of the blame on the person who has it? and some of the criteria like “fails to follow through on instructions”, “does not seem to listen when spoken to directly”, “has trouble holding attention on tasks” can depend greatly on the player. not as much of that is baked into artemy’s character and dialogue in the same way that social ineptitude, which is a core feature of autism, is baked into daniil’s character and dialogue.

with that being said: while i will include a few things from the diagnostic dsmv diagnositic criteria as listed on the cdc website, i am going to primarily be thinking about accounts from people with adhd. i have several friends with adhd (and i suspect that i may have it, though i’ve only come to suspect this recently and have had less time to think on it) whose experiences i will be taking into account.

other links to sources i am referring to: [adhd/autism venn diagram by tfw-adhd]  [what those symptoms look like in adults, by chadd]  [ptsd criteria on brainline]  [ocd criteria on beyondocd]

vague spoilers for pathologic classic & pathologic 2

very briefly & quickly: ptsd & ocd

the problem with going into it is this game is already a very difficult and anxiety-inducing world because of the plague and i’d argue that any of the healers could have one or both of these either before the outbreak or after it, so here are some things that stick out to me for

ptsd - overly negative thoughts or assumptions about oneself or the world (can overlap with adhd; artemy has the option to repeatedly blame himself for his father’s death), negative affect, feeling isolated, irritability or aggression, risky or destructive behavior, hypervigilance (any game that dabbles in horror aspects will expect this from you), difficulty sleeping (overlaps with adhd), depersonalization (this is a core aspect of the theatre theme of the game)

ocd - without going through the entire ybocs, i’ll just say that i think all three healers struggle with hoarding (understandably and by necessity) and hypermorality (all three protagonists believe they are the one and only person who is right, rubin is awfully judgmental of people who don’t abide by his personal standards). compulsions would be easier to point out in the game than the obsessions they are linked to, as we’re not exactly privvy to intrusive thoughts outside of the dreams. you could, however, say that artemy struggles with intrusive thoughts of causing harm even inadvertantly and argue that he takes measures to ensure that he doesn’t, won’t, and hasn’t. in classic, this is highly dependent on playstyle.

[this is my standard disclaimer that i have an official diagnosis of ptsd so i’m not just pulling this out of nowhere and am about 98% sure i have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and have researched it thoroughly.]

what’s built into the game: making careless mistakes, poor planning skills, time blindness / anxiety, executive dysfunction

pathologic is a game that sometimes feels like you’re being set up for failure. something that i missed talking about in my previous post is that it often feels like an autism/adhd simulator because it is, in classic, so very easy to screw yourself over and get locked out of an objective by picking the wrong dialogue option. while some of the correct dialogue options are obvious, others feel like a guessing game and you have to just hope you’re picking the right thing and have made a save file at the right place to go back and pick different options in the case that you’ve bungled something. hence, “making careless mistakes”. it’s a little bit easier in 2, as dialogue options that end a conversation are indicated with a diamond (thank you to whomever decided on that!), but it makes up for this by being unforgiving in other aspects. i believe the difficulty settings for imago state that the game is intended to be “almost unbearable” - and lots of people have difficulty completing it on the intended difficulty without cheats. (do not discourse about this on my post.) the game invites you to make careless mistakes and either live with or learn from them.

keeping this in mind, you’re kind of expected to have “poor planning skills” on at least your first time playing it. part of the game’s point is that you can’t do everything, and you can’t save everyone. not paying close enough attention or interpreting the instructions of the game just right in classic can cost you the lives of several of your bound.

that also feeds into time blindness & time anxiety. classic & 2 do these in different ways. in classic, you can’t run, so you have to hope you’re not busy doing something else or else hope that all of your letters come in at a time where you can hit up all the places you need to go, or you’re going to be cutting it short on time for the day. in 2, you can run, but there are far more sidequests to be completed than in classic.

i’d also argue that executive dysfunction is a core aspect of the game. you are very busy and very poor and items are very expensive, meaning that unless you know what you’re in for, either you or the town is low on resources or funds or time to do things like eat, sleep, and take care of your aches, immunity, and infection. all of which can be avoided if you don’t make careless mistakes, have good planning skills, and can manage your time wisely.

“interrupts or intrudes on others”

i don’t appear to have a screenshot of him doing this in 2, but he and daniil do have at least one conversation in which they keep interrupting each other. peak autism/adhd solidarity.

i do, however, have a screenshot example of him doing this to clara in pathologic classic

Haruspex: …Wait a second. If there was nothing but the great Bull, where did the stars and light come from? Changeling: Oh, don’t interrupt!

and as for intruding - khan feels that he does this frequently: intruding on him and capella at the station, intruding on him and notkin at the broken heart, and here he is intruding on kids at the nutshell:

We have so few places of our own - only a couple. And yet you feel the urge to impose yourself even here. Do you know what childhood is? It’s slavery. Herders treat their cattle better than parents treat their children. They lock us up like objects, mold us like statues, and still never take us remotely seriously.

he also intrudes on clara talking with block on day 11, either completely oblivious to the fact that he’s doing it or outright ignoring that he is.

“is often ‘on the go’“

i could say that this is one that is built into the way the game is organized, and it’s true! but his time spent with lara comes to mind. she’s not the only one to mention his restlessness, but i don’t keep screenshots of big vlad on hand so their day 1 dialogue is lost to the wind.

Aren’t you supposed to be terribly busy? I don’t understand why you keep coming. Or do you need my help again? I’ll wash your clothes. You’re filthy, like a chimney sweep. Revolting. While they dry, have some sleep.

“often fidgets […] or squirms in seat”

like with daniil’s body language, i don’t have any gifs to show to prove this. i’m really looking forward to seeing what idle animations he gets in the other two routes. for now i know that in the lucid dream, if you use flycam you can see him idling by swaying and rubbing his chin & that in other pantomimes he can be found constantly turning his head and looking around.

sleep problems

i don’t have the screen shot so just pretend that i do - he mentions this to the fellow traveler on, i think, day one when you go to the dead item shop. in either game, you can also only sleep for a maximum of six hours at a time, which is like..two hours less than the recommended amount, unless that’s changed.

little sense of danger & impulsivity

As usual, I act first and think later. I’ve made a panacea. But from what? What blood was that? Whose blood was that? To cure the Town, I’ll need to figure that out.

there’s actually no dialogue i can think of that addresses the danger of the situation he’s in - which is sort of the reason why i included it! though i am absolutely obsessed with classic artemy threatening grief, kingpin of the villains in town:

Bad Grief: That ain’t good! Got too soft a heart or something? Soft, eh… Well, can’t blame you. Haruspex: Got too hard of a bone structure? You watch it. I’ll break them in no time.

artemy has little to no problem offering to help daniil get ahold of organs and blood:

Bachelor: Exactly. I need tissues of a person who died of the Sand Plague. I need them today, right now! I’ve tried to get them at the cemetary, but failed miserably. The patrolmen are vigilantly watching over the dead. Haruspex: Would you like me to get you some? Bachelor: I’d reward you generously for that. Haruspex: Deal. I’ll do what I can, even though I still don’t have the right to.

‘even though i still don’t have the right to’ - he knows it’s illegal and could easily lose him reputation, but he jumps at the chance to do so. part of his route requires you being in constant danger, but later on there are options to tell daniil you won’t help him. this isn’t one of them.

in pathologic 2, you can also instigate fights with people by, to name a few: refusing to leave the house in the atrium where they have a person bound and gagged upstairs, not leaving barley the barber in grief’s lair, and picking the wrong dialogue option with the guys in the broken heart on day 11.

as referenced above, his impulsivity sometimes shows in the dialogue options you can choose. you can say things that clearly haven’t been thought through all the way. for example, this is what he says to clara bout her parents:

I wonder what you did to your old ones. There was someone gullible enough to adopt you?

and this is how she replies:

Clara: What? Why would you say that? I never even knew them. I’ve been an orphan for as long as I can remember. Artemy: I didn’t know. Right, that’s what I figured.

it’s not all that different from the sort of tactless comment a person with autism might make.

no motivation for tasks you are not interested in & hyperfixations

in pathologic 2, on day 3, daniil asks artemy to be his aide in developing a vaccine. artemy’s responses are all something dismissive and frequently quite rude. here’s the end of that conversation:

Bachelor: I will make the vaccine, but I can’t do it without you. All you need to do is be at hand and do as I say. I will take full responsibility for the situation. Haruspex: Perhaps I’ll drop by… if I have the time.

guess what never happens?

it’s understandable that the panacea is artemy’s main goal. what makes it stick out to me as a hyperfixation specifically is that, while a vaccine is daniil’s main goal, daniil manages to ask artemy about his progress with the panacea.

Bachelor: Anyway, how’s it going? Any progress?

the interest is never reciprocated.

emotional dysregulation & rejection sensitivity dysphoria

i personally think this is the most striking piece of evidence. every single perceived sleight can invoke a drastic reaction in artemy. just take day 3 for example - the perceived sleight here is the belief (based on no evidence) that daniil was snubbing him or trying to exclude him from the meeting:

Bachelor: Burakh. The situation is regretful. I just didn’t have time to warn you. Haruspex: This was ugly of you.

and then he proceeds to get into an argument with him. he can, in fact, get into snits with not just daniil, but with rubin and lara as well. i will not be taking sides in this, because who is right / who is wrong is not really the point, the point is how artemy responds to perceived sleights with increased emotional agitation.

when capella upsets him by telling him she’s taking the kids from under his care for their own protection, he can respond by comparing her to her horrible capitalist pig of a father:

You truly are your father’s daughter. Children always succeed their parents…

i can’t even remember what was said to him to get him to reply this, only that it was said to him by a teenager:

I’m a surgeon. Ever considered having your tongue removed?

he also holds onto murky’s repetitious “what is there about you to love? nothing. so i don’t.” and brings it up to her when she is infected with the sand plague on day 10. though it does bring the rather heartwarming line about murky having loved him from the start, my point remains that he has not been able to stop thinking about something murky has said that she has obviously already changed her mind about by this point in time in the game.

difficulties making & keeping friends

remember what i said about the interest in daniil’s vaccine not being reciprocated? yeah. friends, acquaintances, colleagues - they all kind of expect you to take an interest in their lives. this is where autism & adhd overlap, from my understanding - both can come with an inability to recognize social cues. in fact, i’m going to use the same example now that i used in my post about daniil (it is, after all, what inspired this ask):

Bachelor: From you? Oh, nothing. I was just sharing.

daniil thinks they’ve been having a normal conversation, but artemy hasn’t picked up on whatever social cues he’s been using. this could easily be on either one of them. though i will say, some of my easiest friendships as a person with autism have been with people who have adhd. which is why i’d suggest that daniil saying he’ll tell artemy about thanatica “the way i’d tell a close, intimate friend” is autism/adhd solidarity. despite initially not getting along, they are clearly able to communicate with each other.

i think the rest of this is really self-explanatory. despite being from the town in classic, artemy doesn’t actually appear to have any friends in it. could be a symptom of him having left much ealier (ten years ago as opposed to the five in pathologic 2), but in pathologic 2 his friendships are constantly under threat of spontaneous combustion. this day three conversation with lara sums it up nicely:

Lara: Ugh, whatever. Like it’s any of my business… Do whatever you want. Did you make peace with stakh? Artemy: Doesn’t look like it… Forget Stakh. I see now that I’m one step away from falling out with you. Why?

there’s a variety of reasons why his friendships are falling apart. but it occurs to me that there’s no mention of artemy communicating with his friends at all while he was gone, and maybe that’s contributing to it. this is not an attempt to pick sides (i think everybody’s wrong), i am just pointing this out.

adhd in adults: history of academic or career underachievement, relationship problems due to not completing tasks, chronic stress and worry over failure to accomplish goals, chronic and intense feelings of frustration / guilt / blame

artemy did not finish med school. classic has him described as a “vagrant scholar” traveling from town to town to learn instead of staying in the capital where he was sent (”always ‘on the go’” indeed). in pathologic 2 he simply states that he doesn’t have a degree and that he sucked at latin.

relationship problems mentioned under “making and keeping friendships”, but it should be noted that you can repair your friendships by completing a sidequest on day 3 to gather everyone together. 

“chronic stress and worry over failure to accomplish goals” is sort of the entirety of pathologic 2. you could say it’s built into the game, but artemy does express a lot of stress over not knowing where to turn for answers, has bizarre prophetic dreams, and is plagued by… well, the plague taunting him for not being to save his bound. both when notkin gets sick on day 4 and when all of the children get sick on day 10, he can express an extreme amount of guilt for not having the ability to cure them.

i mentioned under ptsd that artemy has a tendency to be able to blame himself for his father’s death, and i think that fits under here as well. there’s also this:

I get anxious thinking about my kids… Are they faring all right in the Lair without me?

conclusion

i do not know if i have adhd myself and i am sure there are things i am missing, especially as i have not completed artemy’s route in classic yet or started clara’s. feel free to contribute to this, i would love to see others’ input!

[weeniewrites]

Lost Connections

Zombie Kenma x g/n reader part 1

3k Words

tw: zombies, mentions of death, reader kills a few zombies, descriptions of rot and gore, mentions of past limb loss (Kenma’s in bad shape), the plots pretty peaceful all things considered i just go in depth when describing gross things

-a lot more’s changed since high school than you could’ve imagined

_________________________________________________________

It’s been said that traveling in groups is the safest idea. There are more hands for tasks, people to lean back on in the case of an injury or for comfort. But considering the state of things, the messy wasteland you assume the rest of the world has become, the stress that’s put on you and everyone around you, you know too well the strain that would put on any relationship. So you travel alone, to avoid the pain of loss and strain. Arguing that even if you can’t carry as many resources with you, you need much less food as a party of one.

You’ve made a home base of sorts. A basement near but not next to a general store, making it easy to move the supplies from there to your place without drawing attention to your home of operations. When you moved in the basement was empty save for a couple shelves and the walls unfinished to the point where the insulation’s still exposed. You’ve contemplated ripping a panel down to put under your blanket as a makeshift bed but it’s too itchy. What's insulation even made of? Maybe you shouldn’t touch it. So no bed. This isn’t your home anyway. It’s not your home. It would be more convenient to stay in the general store, yes. Not have to move your food, an overall nicer looking place. But too many windows, too many risks coming from staying in a building that so clearly carried food at one point. You haven’t encountered them yourself but you’ve heard of raiders from your time traveling with others.

Thankfully this town is small, away from others. The wildlife in the woods can be dangerous but it's far enough away from civilization that zombies are few and far between, easily taken care of or ignored until they stumble away. You’ve hit the jackpot essentially. Food. A stream of hopefully? Clean water that you boil still just in case. And no one around to bother you. Just you, an assortment of plastic containers, and your slowly decaying mental state.

‘Til the day you hear a rumble. Curiosity outweighs your concerns to make you peek out the basement window that’s usually covered. There’s a truck! What kind of idiots running and screeching around in a truck that makes so much noise! But you can’t help the excitement at seeing something you used to see so often. And then it's gone out of your vision with a shout, a hoot and a thump.

A thump? Did they hit something? Gaining your better sense back you cover up the window again and retreat to your cave of poorly circulated but still drafty air. There’s more than enough supplies in here. No reason to venture out. You shouldn’t go. With that high and mighty attitude you heard, those must’ve been raiders, or at the very least not the kind of people you’d want to stay around. Too risky. Too risky to even talk to...

When did you get to the door?

“Snap out of it me, you’re only alive because you’ve been cautious. You’re safer alone.” You croak out. When’s the last time you spoke? With there being little reason to? Just another noise to keep track of and minimize. You take one more look around at your supplies and curse. You need to get water today. It’s possible to wait a day, but between not wanting to wait on something so integral and the curiosity of what you’ll find outside. You remove the barricade, twist the rusty hatch lock, and go out, bat at the ready.

It’s fairly quiet, a few zombies dredged up from the earlier noise needing to be dispatched but it's easy to crush their heads with a well-placed swing, decay making them fragile. Seems like the rowdy bunch left town as soon as they came, perhaps outrunning a hoard? God, you’re an idiot for coming out here but at least it worked out with little affair. Though your one pair of pants is dirty now. It’d be nice to have a different pair, your backup being worn to threads. It’s possible to raid zombies for supplies but you DEFINITELY don’t want to strip them. Considering the amount of undead you’ve seen today (several compared to the usual none) it’s not worth it to make this foolish trip longer by washing up. Maybe the stench will hide you, can these things even smell? A trip to the stream to fill up your jug, a trek back through the road you know best and one last zombie stumbling around to take care of and your work's done for the day! It’s almost a nice routine at this point even if it feels like murder. Gross stinky murder.

It hasn’t seen you yet. One side of its body is visibly damaged, perhaps dragged? Ah well. Not your problem. Despite the sorry state of its body, it has an unusual amount of hair left. Man those roots are overgrown. The thing’s stumbling so you have no worries about being able to outrun it. Overall it’s no match for you with only one arm left, shambling with most of its weight on one leg, the other on its bad side visibly torn. Curious. A couple more steps and you’ll be done for the day and-

    It sees you. One wide unblinking yellow eye meeting yours. You hop back, circling around to keep your distance and get a better idea of how to respond. Intense scrutiny makes you catch more details, the lack of blood on the seemingly recent injuries, the face you refuse to look at (it's always the most unsettling) and the... Is that a Nekoma jacket? Shit. Shit shit shit shit you went there! That was your high school you can’t- you back up further and the thing shambles with you. Its too dangerous to get sentimental now just, don't look, don’t look and bash the poor things head in. It’s too late. Whoever it is is long dead just-

    The blond zombie trips and falls to the ground, wiggling around to look back up at you and you can’t avoid its face any longer, his face. Kenma’s face.

    God, you wanna cry, tears already threatening to cloud your vision. It was always a possibility to see someone you knew personally but what’s he even doing out here? You’re so far away from home, or at least it feels like it just. Shit! He’s wiggling you need to get this over with. Can’t avoid hesitating and compromising your safety further. A step back, readjusting your grip on your bat and... he's not. Moving? Did he run out of energy? Can zombies even do that? Why’s he-it. Why is it staring? His big yellow eyes looking almost curiously up at you.

“Kenma?”

His head tilts.

“What the fuck.”

The rustle of leaves and the trash picked up by the wind are the only sounds. It’s just you and this old dead classmate. At least that gives a chance to react to whatever this is. There’s not exactly a protocol! You didn’t plan for this! Shit just, um-

One eye attempts to blink, faltering halfway down- God that's gross

“Kenma?”

His head tilts again

“Okay shit that's, god that's definitely you- Can you understand me?”

No response

Maybe that was a fluke the first time, you would try and project human behavior on a shambling corpse in your lonely state. Fucking idiot... He’s still not moving.

“Kenma, why aren’t you attacking me?”

 His head twitches and you flinch, steadying your grip on your bat.

“Do you want to eat me?”

No response. Okay thats... weird. Wait let's try-

“Kenma, do you want to attack me?”

You can almost physically feel his focus shift, your breathing picking up as his eyes seem to focus on you rather than through.

He shakes his head.

“What the Fuck.”

You keep him tied up across the room at first. It’s idiotic. It’s not like you had a space set up specifically to keep an undead. Why would you? But he’s been surprisingly docile. Complying with any question or demand as long as you clearly address it to him. Knotting the rope around him was nerve-wracking. His jaw dropping open and hanging slack on request to place a gag inside “To stop you from biting me.” His spit leaves mismatched spots on the fabric. Being mindful to stay on his weaker side, you bind his neck and torso as his eyes keep a careful, blank eyed watch. Should his arm be tied up too? There’d been rumours that only bites turned people but risking a scratch just because you didn’t know for sure felt unwise. Finishing the knot on the first short piece of rope you take a step back to access his state. And another as he tenses. And another as he wrenches his head around, tearing through the fabric though pieces catch in his teeth.

“Kenma, stay still.”

He wiggles in complaint, face as taut as the rotting skin will allow.

“Kenma, do you want to hurt me?”

He shakes his head

“Kenma I need to do this... We need to do this. To be sure, to be safe.”

No response.

“Kenma I don’t want to hurt you either, but I need to be sure you can’t hurt me okay? Just in case”

....

“Please?”

His glare is focused on the floor beside him. Any attempts to get closer are met with a huff. Maybe... It’d be best to try again later.

Staying with Kenma is... scary at first and probably will be for a while but there are parts of it you don’t mind. That are nice even. The touch of familiarity, of home. It’s nice to talk to someone even if the most he can do is nod. Something feels wrong about tying up an old friend. He’d say he didn’t want to hurt you anytime you asked but, you can’t be sure. Zombies must have like, instincts or something. Why else would they become the aggressive shambling corpses you’ve come to know.?

You don’t know if he can fully understand you but he’s less restless when you speak, sitting calmly rather than scratching the wall and floor where he can reach. The occasional shuffle of movement makes things slightly less monotonous though it's hard not to tense up at the noise. Movement usually means danger. While you’re cracking open a can and deciding if the risk of smoke was worth a warm meal, he’s jostling around in his bonds enough to knock a jar off the shelf he’s tied to. The shattering glass loud enough to echo in the small space.

“Shhhhh!!!”

His stare’s more intense than in life, that cat-like part of him where you could feel his stare across the room, now with unblinking cloudy eyes. They’ve kept their yellow shine despite his pallor skin. But his movement’s stopped at least.

“Kenma I need you to be quiet okay? It’s dangerous to make noise. Can you be quiet for me?”

He nods.

You set your can down for now, standing and listening intently. No movement on the loud floorboards above you. No noise outside save for the rain and the occasional caw from a bird. Safe.

“Okay lemme clean this up”

Pickles are easy to pick up at least, though the whole room stinks of vinegar now. Hopefully it’s not enough to draw anything to you. Wouldn’t like, blood or something draw them? Yeah, this must be safe okay just, grab a plastic bag from the convenience store, shove the pickles and glass in and toss it out at some point later. You already have a rotting corpse for a friend you don’t need rotting food down here too. Curiosity makes you wonder though as you touch the wet food, the vinegar unpleasant on your dry fingers.

“Kenma can you smell this, or is it just blood you can smell?”

He stares blankly

“Shoot sorry okay uh, Kenma can you smell vinegar? What you just spilled?”

A pause, and then a small nod.

“Kenma, can you smell blood better?”

Awkward timing to ask that as in your distraction, your finger catches on the shards, cutting shallowly but more than enough for it to burn. Flinching at the pain you shuffle away as you hear more than see him tense in his bounds. One of his pupils swells to an unnatural level of dilation, intently watching the red dripping down your finger.

He nods.

After cleaning up the rest, much slower this time to avoid another mess up, and to keep a very very close eye on Kenma considering his reaction. You finally pick up the rest and stow it away in the corner. Wiping your hands on your old pants.

    That general store's first aid kit better have disinfecting wipes left. And it does! “My lucky day! Ah, haha..... Yeah, sarcasm isn’t very funny without an audience.” Or in general. A wipe, a bandaid, and boom! Good as new.... Geez he’s still staring.

“Kenma I’m fine, chill. You look like you want to eat me.”

He glances away though his attention, like always, inevitably comes back to you.

“It’ll heal. I know you can survive a lot of things I can’t. But I can heal and you...” 

You trail off, thinking about the injuries that plague the better half of one side of his body. Questioning how one even loses an arm but not wanting to know how.

“Shit Kenma, can you feel pain?”

Kenma blinks. Shit an actual successful one! Who knew he had it in him.

“Okay how about this, instead of using an entire wipe on just one little cut. Can I clean you off a little Kenma? It might feel better.”

A nod.

“Okay, I’m gonna come closer now. Kenma don’t move too much or you’ll scare me.”

You must actually be losing it if you’re willing to get this close, but... If it could make him more comfortable it feels worth it. Keeping your movement slow in case fast ones set off hidden hunter instincts or something, you settle at his side, reaching out for his hand and trying to hide your wince at how cold it is. Decays made his already small frame even daintier, his wrist feeling almost fragile in your hand. Don’t focus on that just, clean him up. His nails are bloodied and you wonder how one hasn’t popped off yet. Ew. But rubbing around the nail beds (there’s no chance in hell you’re risking getting underneath his nails) his palm, between his fingers, his wrist, sliding the wipe a little further up his arm to get what’s not covered by his sleeve and. “There we go! Much better.”

He blinks at you again. Man this is, really close. There are so many details to his face you couldn’t see prior. His eyes are slightly shriveled up, the skin pulling at the corners. Despite his mouth being closed you can see a hint of teeth with his lips no longer being able to fully close. His nose has caved slightly in on itself making you uncomfortably aware of where his nasal bone is. You look away with a shiver and he shimmies in front of you, his hand twitching and faltering but succeeding in holding him up. You turn again and he moves, struggling to stay within your line of sight.

“Do you... want me to look at you?”

A nod

“Kenma I can’t. I-I need a minute”

His arm violently twitches. You can’t help the way your body lurches away from him, a well trained and well needed fear response.

“Please just! I’ll do it just give me a minute I-”

You blink.

Panic blinds you as a cold hand covers your mouth, shocking your eyes back open to meet his. It stinks it stinks it stinks! Your hands squeezing against his one frail wrist to force it away, the skin leathery and wet. You feel something pop. The force of your shove makes him lose his balance, slamming the air out of his chest like a second death rattle as he meets the wall. His wide eyes look up at you, neither of you moving as the dust that was shocked up in his fall settles. And then, he looks away.

It should’ve been nice to lose the intense pressure of his stare, but it’s not. Any new unpredictable behavior is frightening. As you move to stand, he starts kicking away from you. His trajectory slightly curved as his good leg does most of the work and his arm it... it falters with each push. His wrist moved more than it should, more than it could even a minute ago.

“Wait Kenma!”

His head jerks back, silencing you. Afterwards, he continues his trek further away from you, as much as the ropes allow, audibly dragging across the floor.

“....Kozume?”

No response

He’s still not looking at you.

Unsure of what to say, you stand in silent watch as he struggles to maneuver himself into a seated position, hand slipping across the floor with each attempt to push up.

“Did I hurt you Kenma?”

He ignores you in favor of trying to scratch the floor with his limp hand, your previous work on cleaning him up already being undone.

You sigh as you open your pack. Only once your attention is away from him does he look up, looking away each time you lift your head. Satisfied once you find what you wanted, you start closing the distance between the two of you, pausing as he straight up glares at you. Face tense.

“Kenma?”

And in the most surprising gesture so far, he lifts his hand to place a finger over his lips. The gesture is clumsy, his fingers are unable to fully close and his hand’s dangling limply but the intention is clear.

He’s shushing you.

You roll your eyes.

“Kenma I didn’t raise my voice because I was looking at you. This is just.. It’s a lot. You’re a lot.”

He looks like he’d be blinking if his lids decided to move this time.

“Kenma, it’s okay. We’re okay. Or we will be once we get you patched up. That-” You point at his limp hand. “Doesn’t look comfortable. Is it okay if I come closer?”

He doesn’t respond.

“Kenma is it okay if I come closer? I promise I’ll be quiet.”

A pause and then he nods, his head turned just enough to see you as you finish the trip back to him. “Now I don’t know a lot about medical care but I think? Your wrist might be dislocated. So here’s what I need you to do.” You guide him through the motions, taking your time to make sure everything's lined up like the diagrams in the first aid booklet. It’s not possible to position yourself right and keep your distance but if this is how you die, trying to help an old friend feel more comfortable then fuck it. You’ll go out a proud idiot. Pushing his hand down it snaps back into place with a crack. He hisses in discomfort.

“It’s all better now. You’re all fixed up okay? But just to be safe, can I have your hand Kenma?” His hand appears in yours near immediately. “I want to wrap this as if it were sprained, since you can’t heal? I’m worried we tore some of your muscle or something and I don’t want the damage to spread. Hold still okay?” The bandage wraps up and around, carefully around his palm. It’s almost like taping up his fingers before a game. “Is that okay Kenma?” He nods, gaze not rising from the floor and the rest of the day is spent in silence, Kenma occasionally testing his hand’s movement throughout the night.

[vampiresuns]

The Radošević-Cassano | Lore & Palazzo Inspiration

Some lore for the untitled geese family of Vesuvian High Society. As per usual, the family tree is here. With a quick run down on mostly everyone.

✴︎ General Headcanons

I call them the Radošević-Cassano because I keep Anatole in the centre of the family tree, and much of the Arcana lore I have revolves around him. This isn’t because everything is about him, but because he is the original OC, and hence the place all of this lore comes from.

In reality the Cassano of Vesuvia (how they’re actually known as) are an old Vesuvian family.

They hold no nobility titles, they’re just old, ingrained with the City, and simply have money. The surname Cassano isn’t that old, they’ve probably been the Cassano for less than what they’ve held the Consulship for, only having been known in this way since the last 300 to 250 years, give or take.

They’ve had a hold of the Consulship for a little longer than that. No one actually knows how they ended up with the Consul’s office.

Not even the Cassano themselves. There’s many rumours and the story itself is kind of a local legend at this point. No one remembers because sometimes stories are just oral tradition. Sometimes they just get lost. That’s how it is.

The Cassano surname comes from... a first name actually. Consul Cassano ruled Vesuvia in lieu of the Count they were Consul for, while said Count’s children grew up, becoming old enough to rule themselves.

They are a multicultural, multiethnic family. Different branches have different cultural backgrounds.

Yet their unity steams from 1. being the Addams Family of Vesuvia 2. The Consulship. A way for them to protect themselves versus other Courtiers down for their own power-grabs, or nobility which do not like that these respected and well known family have no titles made them create a network (inside and outside of the family) that allows them to protect themselves and their political position.

For a Cassano, it is not social standing which matters. It is political standing.

They’ve been friends with the Radošević family (less remarkable and less old) for around six or seven generations. The Radošević are the Addams Family of Balkovia. Fish, Water.

Both families favour cultivating a career, craft or academic pursuit. It doesn’t matter what at least you pursue it honestly.

Speaking of honest pursuits, one of their secrets for enduring is rejecting arranged marriages. Convenience marriages are one thing, if mutually consented by the future spouses, arranged marriages however are a recipe for owing other families favours. It helps get rid of families who simply want to marry with them solely because they’re interested in the political position.

Important things for both these families are: authenticity, professionalism (they do not conceive not working, hoarding land, property and wealth aren’t actual jobs), ambition, creativity, survival, fraternity and resourcefulness. Both of the families are very communal between each other, acting as extensions of each other way before they married between them.

They follow three principles: 1. Whatever happened to you, whatever life shot at you, you survived. A Cassano-Radošević is nothing if not enduring 2. Sometimes conventional problems needed to be solved through unconventional means. They are nothing if not resourceful. 3. What happens to one of us, happens to all of us. They are nothing if not community driven.

This sometimes made them out of touch with other parts of Vesuvian High-Society, especially certain kind of Noble families. I hc that the Consul is the link between the Count and the City, and is meant to represent the City in front of the Count. The Cassano have a very tightly knit relationship with the City, and while their position of privilege is undeniable they are more aware of the social condition and estate of the City than others of their same social circles.

Their tendency to work for the City in a usually self-less manner (which is encouraged), using their position to help others instead of stepping over them, coined the underlying belief that the Cassano are protectors of Vesuvia. They are the last line between something which wishes to harm the City and the people of Vesuvia. This is something which Anatole specially takes very seriously.

Other sayings or beliefs around them are: “Good Counts make their Consuls their friends, while Good Consuls have a Happy Marriage in their beds.” Given how long they’ve hold the Consul’s office, it is better for Vesuvian Counts (regardless of their origin) to befriend them rather than go against them. The second part stems from the Cassano tendency to marry for love, not out of arranged marriages.

“Nothing mortal can kill a Cassano” this began as a joke, simply because they’re a really sturdy family. While they were very close to disappearing in more than one occasion, they simply keep on living. They’re very petty about their vitality. This belief gets reaffirmed during any of the apprentice timelines, but also because of Valerian Cassano’s (Anatole’s great grandfather) longevity.

Few of them believe in the Arcana as a belief system, though a bunch of them are familiar with tarot. There’s a tendency to generate Death and Hierophant beneficiaries the most. The Radošević while not following the Arcana at all, and most of them being unfamiliar with them, have a tendency to generate beneficiaries of The Lovers, Strength and Magicians.

“When Death marries a Star nothing will bring that marriage down” comes from the most notorious Cassano marriages being between Death and Star beneficiaries, with the Star beneficiaries usually being foreign. Examples of this are Amparo Mediavilla (Star) and Vitale Cassano, former Consul (Death), Stelarius Cassano (former Consul, Death) and spouse (Star), and recently Amparo Cassano (Death) and Portia Devorakova (Star).

Magic in the family, manifesting in given individuals is rare, but not unseen. The Cassano seem to be coated by a halo of magical energy but not display magical abilities themselves for the most part. Some exceptions are Amparo Mediavilla, Lucenzo Cassano, Valerian Cassano, one of Florentino’s (Anatole’s grandfather) brothers – Nemesi Cassano, Amparo Cassano, Vlad Radošević (son of a Cassano, and Anatole’s father), Aelius Anatole Radošević, and Artemisia Cassano, sibling of Amparo.

People with magical abilities in the family tend to keep it reserved from the general public. The reasons vary. 

While the Cassano Personality is strong and produces an inter-generational imprint, the Cassano genes are not that strong. No one is entirely sure what a ‘Cassano face’ looks like because of their multicultural background, but apparently they all have expressive eyebrows.

However, most of the Cassano stand in the same way (the way Valerius stands). Valerius, Anatole, his father, Florentino, Amparo, Artemisia, Cassiopeia, and others all stand in the same way.

✴︎ The Radošević

They’re not that different from the Cassano. Can be described as a “A family of survivors, eccentrics, patrons of the arts, inventors and scientists. A family of academics full of anxieties about the world surrounding them, whose sorrows were scars they rarely showed. Private yet with an extensive, and international, circle of acquaintances who deemed them all charmingly strange on their best days; prideful, analytic, often with a drink in hand.”

The Cassano can be described in a similar way, they’re different manifestations of the same core after all. Other than them being the Addams family of the fantasy Balkans, there’s no much to add to them besides what I’ve already said.

While the most distinctive Cassano trait is probably spite, the most notorious Radošević trait is rage. Rage is easier than grief and they’ve all had complicated relationships with life. They are not violent or toxic as a family, however. While they are not perfect, it seems of little use to them to mistreat those who are in the same boat as you, going through the same hardships.

Probably the some of the most interesting people in this family are Elysian Radošević, Anatole’s great grandmother, a partisan, Neuma Radošević a famous painter, and well, Valeriy “Valerius” Radošević. This is my personal HC in the julesverse, but Valerius has more of a Radošević personality than a Cassano personality.

Anatole would be a nice mix of both of them, which is catalysed by his mother, Louisa De Silva.

As an aside, Anatole has his father’s and uncle’s brows, his father’s eyes, and while his face bone structure is a toss up, he has his mother’s lips and nose. He also has his mother’s hips and legs.

The Radošević have a vineyard in fantasy Istria. No, it’s not Valerius’ vineyard.

One of the reasons why Anatole would refuse all kind of title (and so would his uncle, actually, despite the way he acts) is because having a nobility title is one of the few reasons for your Balkovian citizenship to be revoked. Nobility has been abolished in Balkovia for decades, and it’s not making a comeback.

✴︎ The Palazzo

The Palazzo Cassano is where the star mark is. It is 12 minutes away from the Palace, and 18 minutes way from Goldgrave. It is one of the few properties the family has, and probably the most important.

For years, it has been open to the Vesuvian Public who, with previous appointment, might need its resources, such as the music room or the Cassano Library. Like I said before, the Cassano do not think owning things is a job, and like I said before they encourage finding an actual occupation, whatever it might be. Other properties tied to the Cassano, including the Radošević-Cassano, are: Mircea’s and Florentino’s house in Balkovia (Anatole’s grandfather’s), the Radošević Vineyard, Valerius’ vineyard, Blasio’s house (Milenko’s grandfather), Milenko’s apartment, Vlad’s and Louisa’s townhouse in Balkovia, where Anatole grew up, and Paris’ shop + apartment, as she leaves it to Amparo, Milenko and Anatole. 

The Palazzo holds a series of invaluable collections, from books, artefacts, painting, sculptures, swords and others. They are long standing patron of the arts, who sustain themselves on social connectivity, so it is not unheard of them sustaining balls for these purposes every now and then. The Palazzo is meant to be able to house the majority of the family in somewhat comfortable terms. It’s most famous room, is it’s winter garden, which is open to the Public on certain days.

The Palazzo does not have permanent staff. It’s an oddity. The only permanent positions are the one of personal secretary of the Consul — not a valet, not a servant — and the Chef. Most of the staff is divided in shifts.

The Palazzo doesn’t have a housekeeper, only a housekeeper assistant. The Palazzo housekeepers are Batiste Cassano (sister of Florentino, Anatole’s grandfather), Iris Ravella (Amparo’s parent), and post-game Valerius.

Some of the OC families they’re related to are the Ventura, the family of two high-priests in one of Vesuvia’s temples, the Valperga (Valerian’s family), a number of Venterrean family’s, the Radošević (obviously), and the Ravella, among others. All these families are part of the julesverse.

Canon families they are related to include the Devoraks, the Satrinava (Milenko, while not a Cassano by blood is a Cassano by upbringing, and the Cassano include all the Radošević as their own), and the Alnazar. 

As an addition, when @apprenticealec​ and I merge worlds, they are also related to the Parsa D’Orias, as they are to the El-Saieh, but they belong to @ilyamatic​.

The story of how they ended up with the Palazzo stirs as much rumours as how they ended up with the Consulship, but the truth is way less exciting. It came with the position, and they deliberately altered the papers so from Grant of the Count, became their own. It was finders keepers. The Palazzo is inspired by different buildings in different parts of the world, but primarily, it’s outside is inspired by the Palazzo Papadopoli, in Venice, Italy, the Palazzo Ca d’Oro, and Ca Dario

Here are some pictures of different things it takes inspiration from:

The Palazzo has a back door, which leads to a minor street — the lovers and close friends door — inspired by the Palazzo Bembo- Boldù. The only way to open this door is from the inside. To ring it, you have to turn the knob three times to the right.

Thank you for reading these untitled geese family lore ❤️

[lore-of-the-silvereyes-rwby]

A false chosen one

Now we go onto Ironwood's early years of his Huntsman career. Okay not much history or details to explore about the huntsmen academies other than their secret purpose. So we can just assume Ironwood did and completed his 4 years of education and enlisted soon after. But we can guess that he at least participated in 2 Vytal festival tournaments during his curriculum.

My best guess during his first tournament he most likely met his fellow future headmasters(Theodore and Lionheart) for the first time as well as to be noticed by his other hero as well(The Warrior King of Vale).

Now you’re asking why would a past Oz incarnation be his hero? Will to start the warrior king pretty much set and laid the groundwork and structure of the current modern world of remnant that every kingdom most likely tells to their next generations. And let's be honest any child would be at awe about a story of a king let alone one with an epic tale of war and POWER(emphasis on the power for Atlasians).

Now picture this;

You're the perfect model of an Atlasian citizen. You are training in one of the world's most prominent careers  where you are exposed to the outside influences of other kingdoms and societies that yours has taught you are beneath you. But you are stunned and amazed by how lower societies have accomplished so much that your left wondering is my kingdom the greatest?

And you perform so well that the current Oz incarnation notices you. And you amazed him so well that he invites you and gives you the promises of grandeur and the ability/power to help aid/change the world for the better. And soon after accepting his proposal and endorsement he lets you in on the secret; That he is the reincarnation of your hero and asks for your help with his war.

That could serve as a first meeting between a young Ironwood and the man with two souls. Now you're wondering why I say past oz incarnation instead of the king or Ozpin? With the new information confirming(sorta) Ozpin's age and dialogue of Ironwood inV2 & V7 it is in my theory that there have been 4 Oz incarnations that have affected the current rwby story and characters at present

The Warrior King of Vale/ Founder of the Huntsmen academies and ended the Great war

Ozpin's predecessor/ Recruited the current members of the secret brotherhood of Oz (STRQ) and Raised Atlas to the sky

Ozpin/ Teacher of STRQ The Headmaster of Team RWBY  and guider of the events of V1-3

Oscar/ The Current incarnation and bystander of V4-present

Given this it is quite possible (since we don't know his age) the King had died sometime prior to ironwood's birth or childhood. Leaving a new incarnation to meet and recruit him. Now why would middle Oz choose Ironwood? A random nobody that hails from the world's most faccist inhuman warmongering kingdom that engages in periods of isolationism and hoarding power with the potential intent of starting a new war. Well that's probably it.

We don’t know much of the Treaty of Vytal but we can assume it's like the Treaty of Versailles of WW1; were harsh penalties had been emplaced on the losing side which led to loss of territory, economic distress and demilitarization, and a very large amount of humiliation in the years to come. Which led to the rise of Hitler and the Nazi’s as well as WW2

Now we know Mantle had nearly depleted its natural resources which led to economic instability and despite how well advanced their technology was they still lost to Nations that they considered below them. Another comparison is despite the “ quote on quote” gifting to the world their assets it could be intrepid as a subtle demilitarization act forced upon Mantle by the rest of the world as to limit their Military strength to ensure that they would not be able to start a new war.

Now what does this have to do with Ironwood? Just like how the treaty of Versailles screwed Germany and led to the rise of the Nazi’s and WW2 the treaty of Vytal screwed Mantle and led to the rise of Atlas and the conflicts of RWBY.

Mantle passed on its toxic ideology to Atlas and now it buys its time to wait so that it can make its grab for power in the future and achieve what Mantle couldn’t; the World under their rule.

The current Oz at this point in time has already seen the signs of this and is trying to avoid war in the most subtle way possible as he no longer has the status of the Vale king anymore and figures that the potential warmongering Mantle would listen and be swayed by one of their own instead of a forgein leader that has yet to earn their respect.

Insert the Vytal festival tournament with Ironwood participating for the first time. From the perspective of this Oz he sees a potential candidate to be his political figure head of an unstable kingdom with a war is the answer mentality. This Oz doesn’t want a figurehead because he wants to but because he needs to if he wants to uphold the fragile peace that his past king self had accomplished and tried to maintain.

But sadly due to reincarnating he has lost that influence and has to rebuild it which takes time, time that he does not have. So he must elevate others to be able to influence people that he can’t.  This is where Ironwood comes in as a native of Mantle and born during its social transition to Atlas Oz hopes that he can make this promising huntsman into someone that can help carry and pass on his ideals of peace and stability in hopes of avoiding another war for Salem to take advantage of.

Ironwood now being informed by the introduction of secrets to get him hooked and joining Oz’s group is more than willing to help. Especially after believing Oz’s promises to him. Now you're wondering what promises. My evidence is what said Qrow in V6;

No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good… Meeting you... was the worst luck of my life…

Oz appeals to and makes promises to those that he recruits whether or not he follows through on them is up to debate. From this we can assume he promised ironwood something similar.

The only difference between the 2 is that one had a very unhealthy opinion of himself and tried to search for meaning in his life while the other is a stark contrast by being sorta healthy with himself and had found meaning by serving and later leading his Kingdom. As well as the difference between their relationships to the man with two souls.

Ironwood was more or less loyal to the incarnation before Ozpin as he saw this as his hero back from the dead to ask for his help. Even elevating him to positions of power and status that he may not have been able to achieve on his own just to do that. This is probably why Ironwood didn’t just freak out and overreact immediately and lash out because this is coming from a man who he hopes was the man who had kept his promises to him and rewarded him.

While Qrow was more or less buddy, buddy with Ozpin during his time at Beacon, who had offered him a place with meaning and purpose to replace his world of loneliness and self pity as well as redemption. But when the truth is exposed he just condemns Ozpin ignoring Oscar for empty promises instead of realizing the truth that Ozpin was only meant to show him the path and that he was the one who to take it. To put it quite simply Ozpin was there to help guide Qrow to see the good that he already is as well as deal with his issues in a healthy way.

(Now that I think about it Qrow and Ironwood actually parallel one  another in terms of narrative and character.)

Point is Ozpin’s past incarnation had a major influence over Ironwood to the point the he along with his Atlasian brainwashing had led Ironwood to believe  that he was this chosen savior that he was the hero that was destined to win that he can do no wrong because his ideals and heritage told him so or at the very least didn’t correct his thinking.

When in reality OZ wanted a guardian that would keep the status quo not the Soldier who wanted to change the world as he saw fit. (Hence the section title a false chosen one) In Doing so he ended up instigating all of the conflicts of rwby under the intentions of good only to lead from bad to worst if not catastrophic.

Simply because Oz didn’t keep his ambitions in check and make it clear that he was meant to be a loyal lap dog that heels to his owner. Instead Ironwood became the rabid dog that's all bark and no bite. This has resulted in Ironwood developing a false sense of chosenness and that it is either his way or the highway.

Another thing to look at is even though this  Oz had his influence on ironwood he was however too late as the ideology and philosophy of Mantle/Atlas had already consumed his mind so much that even though he was willing to embrace the outside world his mind would be forever locked and kept to the kingdom he hailed from.

Now with the outside influences outside let's see the opinion of how he sees himself and why he would think of himself as this chosen savior and the potential events that led to that mindset.

I’ve survived Now I’m Invincible

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

23 and graduating law school??? Super impressive congrats!! Any tips to share?

Ah jeez, honestly? I would essentially say, hey! Don’t measure your worth by the things you’ve done.

The phenomenon I’ve seen over and over again, not just in law school but especially there, is folks crashing and burning because some part of them believes that unless they can be the fastest, the smartest, and the best, they can’t be anything.

It’s been three years, and I’ve been watching every single person in my world crack because before this, they were the smartest person in the room. They got into a space where the thing that made them them was being better than everyone else. They didn’t mean it in a malicious way (most of them, anyway), but it was there.

First year of law school, we all got plucked out of our individual rooms and stuck together-- 94 people that had always been the best-- in this horrible lecture hall where only one of us could retain that identity. Everyone else had to restructure life around their new place in the universe.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fascinating to watch, but it destroyed almost everyone around me. The thing about law school, and boy oh boy especially the one I made the mistake of entering, is that it is 1000% designed to take that weakness and exacerbate it.

Everything is on a curve. Only three people can make an A in a class of 120. The place encourages every student to hoard resources, sabotage others, and let go of any impulse they have to take care of their classmates. There will always be someone at the top, but I can tell you with near certainty that that person got there by fucking over every possible obstacle, including people.

You climb your way to the top by being cruel, or you find yourself at the bottom with nothing left of the person you believed you were.

It destroyed us, and the administration sat back in satisfaction, because that’s exactly what they wanted to happen.

I wouldn’t say I suffered as much as my classmates from that particular problem, but I had my own set of issues. My mental health has never been good, but early on my second year, I had a breakdown so serious it’s going to trail me my entire professional life.

Law school changed me, and some of that was good. I chose my profession because I wanted power, and I got what I wanted. Three years ago I couldn’t speak without crying. Now I can walk into a court room on two hours of sleep and three hours of preparation, pull witnesses apart, improvise a closing, and shrug the whole thing off when I’m done.

On the other hand, I spent eight months faking simple emotions I couldn’t actually feel, pretending I wasn’t completely flat, completely empty, because I couldn’t do anything else. The dam broke, and then I spiraled into psychosis. I spent three years so exhausted I couldn’t think straight, and I lived my life in a state of fear-- rational fear, because every day I could be publicly humiliated (and I was, multiple times). 

Would I do it again? I don’t know. I graduate in a week, so maybe ask me in five years. All I know is that I never want any of you to feel like you aren’t enough, because I promise you, you are. You have worth because you live, not because you had the highest contracts score, you won your big trial, or you made the mock trial team. 

Don’t chase being impressive or being accomplished, having the most degrees, or the highest salary. It won’t earn you the approval you never got, and it will never, ever fill that hole inside you that says you aren’t worthy of love. (You are!)

I’m begging you all, sincerely, to find your identity outside of being the smartest. I am also begging you, again sincerely, to stay the fuck away from Baylor Law. 

[divingtotheunknown]

Living In Uncertainties

To anyone who continues to resist like me, you may not realize it now but you are ever so lucky to not have experienced the COVID-19 pandemic. A huge part of people’s lives was swiftly taken from them as the virus raged across the country. Who would have thought that the one week suspension we heard on the news last year would last until now.

Most of the time, it felt unreal how the entire thing was. It was as if my world stopped and I was confined to one of its corners. I can’t say for myself how terrible the experience was, just that it was. It brought out the worst in the society, in men; selfishness, greed, indifference and above all, fear. Fear was the biggest of the four. It influenced all the others to terrorize the hearts and minds of people.

The virus was very unpredictable for a long time. It is actually testing the technology to stave off the virus. It could appear anywhere, anytime without us knowing and it could’ve meant life or death.

Which means to say that the possibility of anyone we loved or us ourselves getting the virus was high and that could very well be the end of the line. I can’t stress enough how badly that fear affected the mental and emotional well-being of a lot of the people I knew. Personally, I never expected this pandemic would let social media affect my own thinking. The same goes with the mindset of the public with what and how they consume information online. The fact the fake news is everywhere, undeniably a lot of people became victims of it, even some members of my family - which is why it is really important how important it is to be a responsible user nowadays. It was evident that during the first few days, we were vigorously trying to find ways to take off the looming dread from that thought but it seems that no matter how far we ran, that thought kept close on our tails.

People spoke up about the stress this entire thing would cause on society. In particular, the working class and the poor were the most affected. A lot of them needed to work daily just to get paid and earn a living. They had to stop so that they could be safe and also to stop the number of infected people from increasing. There was nothing they could do. When they left, it seemed as if society had stopped as well. To be honest, our business was affected as well. Luckily, I was able to help my parents continue the business through the use of e-commerce using different platforms online but I know and it is sad that not everyone has the access and ability to move forward using the same resources we had. Only a few workers were allowed to be outside of their homes, they were the medical workers and frontliners like those who worked in groceries. A lot of medical workers lost their lives to the virus. How painful it must have been for their colleagues to watch as the people beside them fell ill and succumbed to death. A friend of mine shared to me how hard it was for them not to see her father personally after dying due to a virus. He ended his life fulfilling his duty as a Doctor. Saying the last words for her Dad through video call is different from the usual but again, what can we do? I can only imagine all the pain they carried during those days. How brave they all were, risking their own safety for the sake of others. They did not want to be part of that front and yet there they were.

This stress was also put on students. Universities decided to conduct online classes completely. I did not see the fairness in that. While it’s true that we students should give value to our time by spending it on education, we too felt the weight of the situation. A lot of us were still coping with the madness that seemed to take on the world. But what could we do? Over a year, we have been so hopeful that one day, we can still go back to the campus but despite all that, I am still grateful for the power of media and technology. Applications like Facebook allows us to keep in touch, Twitter and Instagram reminds us to be updated, Blackboard, Zoom, Discord and other articulations of social media allows us to continue pursuing our dreams despite all the limitations and challenges brought by the pandemic. We had no choice but to resign to our fate of finishing the academic year against our wishes.

During these days, the government seemed to be at its worst. It turned out that hospitals all over the country were underprepared because they were not funded properly. What’s worse was that the government deployed the police and troops to “ensure public safety”. Just like what we always see in different social media applications, police do not protect the public, instead the people behind all the shortcomings in the country. How ironic it was to see the military well-armed. It added nothing more than fear to the people. There were several incidents where the military unjustly shot people down for being suspicious or unruly. They did not even hesitate to point their guns! Good thing is, with the continuous innovation in terms of technology, there was much evidence online that would prove the blasphemy of the abusers of power.

It did not take long for people to realize that they would be stuck at home for so long. Everyone needed to stay home and so they needed as many supplies as possible. However, it came to a point where people got greedy and all they could think of was themselves. People tend to hoard whenever they see news about the possible shift of quarantine and this is actually a situation I can connect with the lesson about substantivism wherein technology has a capability to affect or mold the people and even the society. I understand the need to look for one’s own welfare, I understand the need to care for our loved ones but what I did not understand was why people had to cross the line towards being greedy and hoarding far more than they needed.

As far as man has evolved, its progress is still so little. In the midst of a global crisis, they found time to claw at each other’s throats by pointing fingers to pass the blame. It came to a point where Asian people were discriminated against as carriers of the disease. Perhaps the worst case was that of the American president calling COVID-19 the Chinese virus. I felt ashamed of these people. There were a lot of others trying to help build more unity and yet these people were insensitive enough to cause more divisions. I dream that such connectivity has been brought to us by the media, hopefully time will come it will also apply to the society, country even as one nation.

It was truly a terrible time. Imagine the reality of a global scale crisis paired dawning on you from behind and before you are the immoral choices made by the society you live in. It was one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. I felt crushed by the immense weight of the situation we were all in.

I missed the outdoors, I missed my friends, I missed school. I missed the joys that I could only experience outside of my home, I missed the fresh air, I missed the sunlight. realized that I took a lot of these for granted. We can only see our loved ones on our screens and it is heartbreaking that we can no longer do the things we are used to. It’s true what they say: you only realize the value of some things once they are gone or taken away from you.

All I could wonder then, was if life would ever be back to the way things were.

They say that during the direst of situations, the worst and best in man shows. I’ve had my fair share of seeing just how bad a man can get. Yet, there were times when man’s goodness prevailed. In fact, you’d be surprised just how many of them there are.

A lot of people held volunteer work that reached out to poor communities so that they could be given food and supplies. Some people hosted online charity events from their homes to raise funds to donate to the medical effort, online donations drive and they even use media as their means of communication for community pantry. It was those moments that gave me hope and reminded me of how morally good people can be. During those moments it felt like not everything was wrong with the world.

Those days really made me realize how difficult it was to really put a finger on what morality is. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that we may never really be completely good or bad. Sometimes, we’re a little bit of each other. Indeed, people are constantly changing, even technology and society. It’s unbelievable how new media changes our lives, our way of living and how we use these innovations although there’s always pros and cons. It’s hard to juggle that thought because we are so limited, so small compared to the universe we live in.

The message I leave with you now, dear reader, is to live. To live means to learn. To live means to see. To live means to understand, to appreciate, to feel, to live is everything. Get rid of the distractions caused by these changes. Concern yourself with the world so as not to be selfish but also devote time to yourself when you need it.

REFERENCES:

Soriano, P. N. (2021, August 31). Nueva Ecija records 14 new COVID-19 Delta variant cases. Rappler. https://www.rappler.com/nation/covid-19-delta-variant-cases-nueva-ecija-august-27-2021?utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR20YsXyEhuxFMu7Y4P5uWon2xRnYZ7tqpQWSCJxxaaCdpFsTKtasfe5zI8#Echobox=1630055399

Pangue, J. (2021, January 9). In 2021, communities can prove that fighting disinformation isn’t just media’s role. Rappler. https://www.rappler.com/moveph/communities-prove-fighting-disinformation-not-just-media-role

[emeraldragonfly]

The Cycle of the Seasons in the Desert

The pagan Sabbats follow the cycle of the seasons, and often, this cycle is easy to visualize. In terms of temperature, of course, we generally have:

Winter/Cold --> Spring/Warm --> Summer/Hot --> Fall/Cool

We go from cold to warm to hot to cool and repeat. In terms of how the plants and animals respond to the seasons, we tend to think of it like this:

Winter/Death/Hibernate --> Spring/Mate/Birth/Growth -->

Summer/Birth/Mature/Growth --> Autumn/Fade/Hoard Food

We say the seasons follow the cycle of birth, growth, death, and rebirth. 

That’s all pretty straightforward. The problem is . . . those concepts don’t apply equally well to all climates on earth.

Now that I’m in the southwest US desert, some of the pagan holidays seem a bit, well, out of step with what’s going on outside. It’s taken me some time to ponder these differences. I’m going to summarize some major ones now.

The Desert Simply Isn’t Well Suited to Farming

A lot of the cycle of life metaphors used are ones about farming. You ‘sow’ new ideas and projects in the spring, nurture them over the summer, ‘reap’ the fruits of your efforts in the fall, and rest in the winter and plan the new year. Also, the pagan holidays often feature feasts that involve crop foods that are in season for those times of the year. 

Here’s the thing though-- I’m in the middle of Utah. This is not a great place to grow crops. It never has been. Do we grow some crops here? Sure, of course. Mostly hay for cattle, in fact. Also certain grains like corn and barley. But really, most of Utah’s agriculture comes from cattle, who can free-graze on the local, desert-tolerant brush. The fact is, the soil and climate are not suited for most typical crops. And growing them requires expending a lot of extra resources.

There’s a reason why the Native Americans who were here long before white people didn’t farm extensively. They mostly relied on hunting and gathering, with some supplemental farming near rivers (which allowed for irrigating crops). So, the idea of huge harvests of typical crops, full of lush fruits and vegetables, and feasts organized around them, isn’t very meaningful here.

A Yearly ‘Death’ or Winter Hibernation Is Not Universal

Many, many animals do indeed hibernate or otherwise enter some sort of state of decreased acitvity during the winter. They do this to conserve energy when resources are scarce. In plants, this can be seen very dramatically when plants die off entirely and go to seed, or when deciduous trees shed their leaves and remain as dormant, bare-limbed creatures for a time. 

The thing is, while a winter hibernation is very common in a lot of plants and animals . . . there’s also a lot who don’t follow that rule. 

Plenty of animals remain active year-round. They may simply shift the emphasis in their diets during winter. For example, the cute little white-tailed antelope squirrels eat a lot of vegetation in spring and summer while it’s growing, but in fall and winter they focus more on fruits and seeds. Cottontails and jackrabbits eat fresh vegetation in spring and summer but focus on woody plants and dry vegetation in fall and winter. 

Other animals may travel back and forth between spring and winter feeding-grounds within their home range. Mule deer feed at higher elevations during the spring growing season and then switch to lower elevations during winter (where there’s much less snow). 

Other animals might migrate greater distances to warmer, wetter places during winter. Birds are especially known for having a lot of species that migrate, and a lot of our ducks are only seasonal residents here.

Whatever method used, for many animals winter is not a time of rest at all, but of steady activity.

This holds true for plants, as well. Many plants are “evergreen.” In the desert, many of the shrubs, cacti, succulents and trees are evergreen. They do not undergo that dramatic death or dormancy, and instead just steadily go about doing their planty business. Many of the typical “signals” to people that winter is coming-- the leaves are falling, animals are vanishing or going to sleep-- just aren’t here. Many of us are just carrying on as usual.

Summer is a More Complex Season Here

The typical view of summer is that it’s a celebration of the power of the sun, of the vitality and abundance of life, a time of handfasting, and of enjoying early harvests. 

It has a different flavor in the desert, though. While summer is certainly a time of growth and power, it’s also other things, too. Summers here are intense. Absolutely scorching, in fact. Temps climbing into the triple F digits is pretty normal-- expect something in the 90s or 100s. It’s genuinely a life-threatening risk for hyperthermia and dehydration for people who don’t take appropriate precautions. Summer needs to be taken seriously. Outdoor activities are . . . pretty hard to enjoy in these conditions. Especially when the windstorms kick in, blasting scorching hot winds and sharp sands and red dirt into your face. Even when the sun sets it can take a long time for the place to cool down. If you want to go for a comfortable walk outside during summer, you pretty much can only aim for a very short window of opportunity in the very early morning-- but better be quick, because it won’t last long.

This isn’t difficult just for people. Animals face the same challenges. How do they deal with it? By being very selective about when they are active during summer. Almost every single animal in the desert avoids midday entirely, staying hidden the shade of shrubs or in underground dens, where things are cooler. (I think the only animal here that braves the raw sun are the ants-- remarkable little creatures.) Animals will be active either in early morning and evening or are completely nocturnal. Many, many desert creatures come out at night, when the world is at a much more tolerable level.

In fact, the summer heat and dryness can be so intense that some animals will even enter into a special type of summer hibernation. This is called estivation. They bury themselves underground and await cooler temperatures and rainfall.

In any case, the point is that summer is a time of rest and sheltering for desert inhabitants. This is normally only associated with winter, but our summer extremes are often a reason to conserve energy and shelter from the sun as well. 

The funny thing is, summer is not just a time of rest and shelter. It’s also a time of growth and activity. Animal breeding is often in full swing during the summer, as well as plant growth and plant reproduction. Why is that?

Our summer has two faces because while it’s our most extreme time of year in terms of heat and dryness, it’s also the growing and monsoon season. Deserts, as you know, get very little precipitation. That’s what defines a desert. A lot of our water comes from melted snow that gathers in the mountains over the winter, which then runs into rivers. But the rest comes from what little rain we do get. Most of our rain occurs in spring, paving the way for a busy summer: Plants grow in the spring, ensuring there’s food available in summer, and thus, it’s a good time for animals to breed. Additionally, there are the summer rains.

The summer rains or “monsoons” (really just thunderstorms) come suddenly and with little warning. They then will dump incredible amounts of water onto the ground. The soils here are very poor at absorbing the water, so we get what we call “flash floods.” There’s this sudden overabundance of water in a place that’s normally starved for it. Animals and plants RUSH to take advantage while they can. Plants suck up as much as possible (cacti and succulents are designed to be huge sponges for these events), as do animals. Frogs and other amphibians, as well as arthropods like dragonflies, quickly breed in temporary puddles while they have the chance. It’s a great frenzy of activity. They don’t have much time because not long after the flood, things will dry up again.

So, in conclusion, our summer has two extreme sides: lots of rest and sheltering from the raw power of the sun, and a rush of activity, fertility and relative abundance. 

Ok. So I’ve rambled on about all these differences in the desert. But what’s the take-away from all this? How can we incorporate it into our pagan or Wiccan practice? 

I have a few ideas.

Reduce Farming and Feasting Metaphors: Replace With Foraging

We aren’t usually wandering along plentiful apple orchards here, or fields of potatoes, or filling our larders with cheeses, or slaughtering loads of lambs, or any of that. The traditional Celtic foods and feasts don’t really fit in here-- nor does the lifestyle. Does that mean you can’t be a pagan in the desert?

No, I don’t think that’s what it means. I think it just means maybe adjusting things a little. Maybe lean less on these farming metaphors for sowing and reaping, and less on those traditional foods. 

They can be replaced with the kind of story that this desert tells us. This is a different story, a lot less about the hard labor of planting large quantities of crops, all the anticipatory waiting for it to grow, the praying for good rains and sun to nurture the crops. A lot of the story of living in the desert comes from foraging. Foraging in an arid desert is not an easy affair. Survival itself in the desert is often not an easy affair. Life is more scarce in the desert because resources are more scarce here. Things are more spread out and scant. You must forage and eat what you can find, often traveling and working quite a bit to gather up enough food. 

Native Americans found things such as roots (wapato, wild onions, sego lily bulbs), seeds (bulrush, goosefoot, pine nuts, sunflower), grains, and other plant parts (wild rice, ricegrass, pickleweed, thistles, cactus flower buds, cactus fruits). There also were berries (raspberries, chokecherries, strawberries) and insects-- a very healthy source of protein (grasshoppers, crickets, ants). Of course, there was also small game (rabbits, mice, squirrels, waterfowl) and occasionally larger game. 

This may not sound very glamorous to you, or very tasty. But it is very resourceful, and sometimes the focus was more on survival than on being gourmet. 

What I propose is that desert pagans think about foraging metaphors and not just farming ones. The steady work of gathering up lots of little bits here and there-- that’s a useful metaphor too, in my mind. Sometimes projects aren’t just about sowing, nurturing and reaping. Sometimes projects are about the steady daily work of foraging, making progress bit by bit. Making use of what you can find, crafting useful things out of them, and ultimately accomplishing something surprisingly huge at the end. Remember, Native Americans even in this harsh desert built incredible, massive apartment-like structures into the cliffs. The “slow and steady” work of foraging (or of erosion!) is a useful metaphor too.

As to celebratory foods . . . why not draw inspiration from Native Americans or early white settler’s ideas on cuisine? Here’s a link to a great article about some Native American recipes (from, you know, an actual Native American). Of course I am not suggesting you treat these things like you “own” them. These inspirations may not come from your personal direct ancestors. But it’s still valid to respectfully borrow cuisine ideas from others! These are foods that grow naturally here or are more easily farmed here, so it makes sense to celebrate with foods that connect you to the land here.

Consider Alternative Seasonal Cycle Ideas

I have been trying for months now to develop an alternative to the traditional season cycle. The traditional one is something like this:

Winter (Death/Rest) ---> Spring (Birth/Growth) ---> Summer (Birth/Growth) ---> Fall (Mature/Wane)

What if we consider our ideas on how many plants and animals here are “evergreens,” and the fact that summer here is a little bit different? Maybe it would look more like this:

Winter (Rest/Forage) ---> Spring (Birth/Growth) ---> Summer (Birth/Growth/Rest) ---> Fall (Mature/Forage)

This suggestion gives two seasons of rest, during the most extreme times of year; winter and summer. It gives two seasons of growth and fertility, during the “light seasons” of spring and summer. And it gives two seasons of “foraging” during the “dark seasons” of fall and winter.

I’m using the word “foraging” as a moderate word that can fit in-between the life energy extremes of “death/rest” and “growth/reproduce.” For animals, foraging is the calm, steady work of searching for and gathering food. It’s a time when you are not hibernating but you also are not putting out the explosion of energy that comes with new growth and reproduction. For evergreen plants, “foraging” is the steady work of photsynthesis that continues even in dark seasons. You’re not doing much new growth or blooming flowers/etc., but you’re not in total dormancy either.

Ultimately these suggested changes are not huge. But I think they’re tweaks that help us connect more! We can see winter as a time of rest for some, enjoying the old traditional metaphors of winter. But we can also see winter as a time of steady progress for the ‘evergreen’ among us. For summer, we can see it as a time of much growth and vitality, but we can also acknowledge that resting and recovering in between moments of intense energy is a good thing and a part of the desert’s cycle.

[tammyhybrid21]

Hybrid Screaming about Rats for an HOUR

(Ft. Bonus dog symbolism as well)

I mean, this is going to be about Mummy and Tad(and Jeff). Buuut I am honestly taking it as an excuse to scream about rats. And their symbolism.

I'll also probably have an aside about Jeff as well, but honestly... Since @shields-and-depthgauges-oh-my​ done her wonderful art-- And I am not over how happy Mummy is to see rats, among other little details. Let's get to analysing!

Sooooo--

First off, I'm going to talk about rats. Because here's the thing. I have fancies. And this is my TOPIC to scream about. No but seriously, back when I was writing WHMS/Winds Howl, Mountains Stand, I gathered an honestly ridiculous amount of symbolism and research for ratties. Which has ultimately kind of being left to the wayside, aside a small mention/use for my old Danny Phantom OC's revival.

Which yeah...

We're not here to talk about Snitch though. As much as I do want to talk about them, the only thing they're relevant for right now is "why rats?" Which-- is only turgently connected to this. Because let me talk about the symbolism and how that impacts how I feel about rats, along with why I think that they're telling in terms of how each character reacted to them when first seeing them in the movie. Beyond the obvious of that one comic's view on things-- how you treat the lowest but--

Which, I actually have some things to say about how Tad's less grossed out than one might think and his reaction is more to Tiffany's... but now is NOT the place.

Meanwhile Mummy's reaction-- yeah. "What's wrong with them anyway?". This is something that maybe would be better expanded on later, but-- that's the common associations at play. I'm sure if I just put down the word-- Rat a million negative things would race through your head.

Dirty, diseased, traitor, thief, liar, coward, spineless, bringer of death, disarray, destructive, vermin, pest, opportunistic-- etc.

BUT

Again, I own fancies. And I'm not alone in owning fancy rats. And if there is one truth I know that's probably universal. A rat's home is only as dirty as you let it be. And for a few of those prior descriptors-- they actually couldn't be further from the truth. Sure some are still certainly true-- but those are also not their problem as much as it's the issue of the world around and what it's given.

Rats are--

Some of the greatest little pets I've owned.

They are loving, curious, inquisitive, creative, almost too creative when you're trying to keep them out of something and they keep getting around your obstacles. Loyal-- rats do not abandon those who're family. They come back--

Rats are fertile, and considering their hoarding behaviour-- well, they stock up, they prepare, they can be symbols of wealth, ambition, expansion, intelligence and resourcefulness. The underground world(which how relevant is that one to Mummy)  And yeah-- but then they have some-- rather surprising symbolism that I just... wish I could find the old sites I got this all from. But most of them seem to have vanished into the nether...

But you know one of the big ones I have on my list that I just-- wish I could source back.

Divine Retribution

Which, probably has something to do with the Black Death/Plague-- but I don't know really. Still!

Rats-- NOW--

How does this all relate to Mummy and why did I want to mention that reaction? Circling back a little bit late but-- Misunderstandings.

And how that relates a bit to Autism, being on the spectrum, what we are-- how Mummy presents himself verses what his truth really is... Weeeell-- Rats actually have a lot of symbolism that I personally think is telling when we match Mummy up with them. Like-- he shows a lot of the same things that rats are associated with in terms of creativity, intelligence(although not in the same way that most people recognize, but the dead tongues, languages) And just generally-- there's a lot.

Like, I would also again, like to think about the loyalty Mummy shows and how he is. And there's something in the Sacrifice scene I'd love to grumble about here regarding that, and ever Tiffany there-- with how it looks like they've come closer in the interim-- not just Tad staying and I just--

But that's neither here nor there, because there's another main thing.

Secrets, Underground World, Stealth

Mummy. Also something about hiding in plain sight. I mean-- how often do you even get a glimpse-- of rats even when you know they're there. Or have an idea of it.

I mean, barring a few places... which as an aside, I want to talk back again to another rat role and place that I think we here in the West-English Countries don't appreciate or understand the MAGIC of quite enough-- India's Karni Mata Rat Temple.

Rats are reincarnations. They're part of that, life, death, rebirth. Rats have their own sacredness. And considering in movie 2 we see them as I guess-- guardians in a way of a temple-- well yeah. But all of this stuff is more of an aside really to the main point and reason I am just-- delighted that rats are Mummy's implied favourites. Because yeah-- they're very misunderstood creatures that live such a short time BUT--

Yeah-- impact and there is a lot of symbolism he shares with them when you bother to look at ALL of it and not just full stop at the dirty side of things. Rats are secret keepers and just-- good beans. Also survival.

NOW--

Let's talk another side of things. In terms of all the animal companions for a moment, but more specifically I want to talk a little bit about how Tad and Mummy look to relate to animals verses humans.

Which-- I know personally-- with my Autism-- yeah, animals are much, much easier to deal with than humans in MANY ways. You don't have to try and work out what someone means when they say something, or any of the other puzzles. It's all really straight forwards. And no need to mask yourself at all. Something I'm sure both Tad and Mummy can appreciate--

Even if it does appear that Mummy is an extrovert, I mean, look how eager he is to get out, interact with people. Which that verses masking-- wouldn't blame him for befriending rats in that case since they always come in a group. Large clans/families-- which yeah-- Ratatouille got that RIGHT.

Meanwhile we have... Tad who's... rather more complicated, but at the same time not and really gets me screaming at him-- because he needs to TRAIN THAT DOG!

LIKE HOW EXPENSIVE?!

I have-- a whole other rant on Jeff's poor to none training level. But-- it can actually be summed up in how Tad is with him in general. Which is... in terms of the psychology in his relationship with Jeff. Because listen here. I had dogs. I've had dogs, chickens, my rats. Befriended cats but never gotten the full honor of owning one.

But--

I actually have some things to say about this-- and it's almost a guilty admission really but... When it comes to dogs and training, I can almost kind of get it. Jeff's lack of training is probably twofold.

1) It's damn hard to train dogs when you can barely train yourself. And 2) it's got to do with how Tad seems to be with Jeff, seeing him as part of the family and as someone who gets him. Which as an oxymoron is a bit about respect--

Although, that's... well, also something to do with Autism and projecting and I should probably make a whole proper rant about that in its own time, along with the FULL "Train yer dog" rant. Which yeah... Sooo instead I'll tie this off with our favourite doggy symbolism and talk about that-- re Tadeo himself.

Let's be obvious here-- Dogs are-- very often associated with dumb loyalty. Loyal but stupid. I mean, at least in American media-- which... not entirely wrong sometimes. Dogs are incredibly loyal. But stupid-- NAH--

Dogs are not as stupid as people see to like to portray them as. It's usually the people around them who're stupid and not paying attention or really working with the dog. Which-- I want to talk a little about Tad in regards to that, but it's kind of hard, since I am... not quite as enthused about it as with the rat rant and Mummy.

BUT--

Protection is the key theme here. His promise-- which leads to his assistance, loyalty resourcefulness... but for all the traits that Tad does have-- I feel like arguably his dog relations are in those lessons he has yet to learn from our favourite "man's best friend"

Communication, obedience, community. Stuff that Tad could arguably improve in. Also I do feel like, there's also some of his big heartedness and the empathy that could be improved, but that's less a lack of as much as he's kind of pushing that down-- and well-- a whole other issue.

Which--

Almost circles back to the mess of Jeff's lack of training.

Which-- dogs are boundless and seek things to keep them occupied. And they also seek leadership, which-- interestingly there's how I watch and view Tad-- and his relationships and he's very much a lost puppy when you look at how he follows around Sara-- which I have deeper analysis on that but--

Tad's... not really a leader as much as he tries to fashion himself as one and play the Hero.

AS A QUICK ASIDE--

While I'm on dogs, I just want to quickly give a shout out to Freddy for making me think he really hits their high points in the small meaningful moments and hints to more beyond just "comic relief" ALSO, Shout out in general to these movies for allowing the "comic" to have their moments where you can glimpse more beyond just that.

Loyalty, protection, communication, sensory perception, assistance, resourcefulness--

In any case yeah!

BACK TO MY POINT--

...Animals are... much easier to relate to a lot of times in comparison to people... and we've repeatedly seen that Tadeo has issues with people. Which feels weird really when he's the protagonist. And while Mummy definitely speaks as an Extrovert.

Like-- He's so eager to get out and be himself--

Tad is... a lot more complicated. Like, I am really, really this close to going back into my usual MBTI analysis rant for him, but-- Tad very much doesn't seem to actively ever really go out and talk to people outside their circle unless necessary. Which heeeey--

Again... Dogs are there to help you with communication, talking to people. Which makes me wonder about the pets and movie 3--

Which-- aside possibly nods to some of the deeper lore with Anubis. Which, let's not forget that he(they?!), also tended to the scales where Ammut is but--

DOGS are all about communication. Which is Tad's BIG issue. And it's not just in regards to how I point out the potential of him just taking the promise seriously and not communicating that. But-- Tad's... not good at communicating clearly with anyone. And we're not just talking in terms of people communication, bad listening and not trusting what people say--

And let's be real, still has a bit of lying issues-- but well... who in the modern world doesn't--

BUT

More, I want to return to Jeff and think about how generally one of the rules in Dogs, canine behaviour issues is... Dogs naturally want to have a pecking order/leadership to follow. And if there isn't a clear one they dictate that they are thus the leader.

Which indicates that Tadeo-- isn't really communicating clearly with Jeff and proving himself a leader... Which heeeey-- kind of hope this becomes more of an issue in movie 3, I really, really want something that forces him to come to terms with at least some of his issues.

COMMUNICATE DAMNIT, TRUST YOUR COMPANIONS.

Mummy, Sara, reign in Jeff and see that he needs you to be steady just as much as you seem to need him. And Tad does need Jeff.

FUNNILY ENOUGH

There are three characters who've proven they can gain some of Jeff's "oh leader" vibes.

Belzoni-- who seems to be able to rally, or at least lead him around a bit, and is looked to by Jeff here-- like Jeff sticks by them...

WHERE JEFF IS ON THE TRAIN FEELS TELLING AS WELL.

Like really?! Why is he not by Tad? But instead, he's following Freddy around on the train. And, minutely following scenes, still following and looking to him a bit. Which interesting.

And most interestingly, from the Facebook shorts, teasers... I'd say for this, it's a walk that's starting "strong". Which indicates that Mummy is also slowly gaining ground with Jeff and communicating in terms of leadership(and no wonder, with his experience).

NOT THAT IT SURVIVED THE WHOLE WALK BUT--

Yeah.

Please let movie 3 have Tad coming to confront this. Please. USE THE SYMBOLS YOU HAVE!