#i do not know if i should approach them abt this bs or not?? i am scared of confrontation but they have been getting on my nerves.

[mazzystar24]

There is this one storyline somewhere that I think either I watched somewhere, read somewhere, or just dreamt or thought abt but it’s stuck in my head lately and it’s soooo perfect for buddie, that I must share because I can’t write fanfics but I can tell you guys the ideas my silly little brain comes up with:

Three words

Buck car crash

Bonus points if Chris is in the backseat (we are sick and twisted for the fact that ik yall will agree)

Okay but to the actual idea

So Buck’s car crashes but in the end all of them are fine and obviously the jeep has a lot of sentimental value so when he sees the ruins of it it hits him hard and the mechanic or whoever is like cos it’s an old car and had some problems and the damage is so bad it’s better easier and cheaper for you to just get a new one

Now this part is specifically from the storyline with ambiguous origins not just cos of my hatred toward a certain Thomas but in that story the girl’s (?) bf is like a secret subtle asshole in the dismissive way like he kinda just says like oh the crash could’ve been worse, you should be thankful, it’s just a car, you can buy a new one that’s the same make, all that jazz - so imma honestly say that that reaction tracks for tommy ngl

Okay as I’m writing this I’m realising that storyline may 88% be from a dream so maybe we DO know the origins of it (yes I dream in stories sometimes)

Anyways so buck is like it wouldn’t be the same it wouldn’t have this sentimental thing or this idk sharpie writing or this nail polish stain or this blah blah blah

but ultimately he’s like you know what? okay yeah you’re right and says goodbye to the jeep

And the best friend- Eddie- knows or is there for all this and goes behind Buck’s back and buys the damaged car from the place (I’m just a girl 🎀 is it called a junkyard or do they take it to like a mechanic lot or what?) and fixes up the car in secret and keeps as much of the original pieces as possible and keeps the pieces he can’t salvage to turn into some sort of keepsake like idk cutting parts of the metal and turning it into some sort of trinket (realistic car restoration? Not round here partner not round here🤠)

Bonus points for emotional moment when he has to fix the interior of the car and sees the blood remnants from the crash

Skip forward to a big celebration like Christmas or a birthday or something (birthday is my preference for this plot but Christmas does canonically make buddie gayer so 🤷🏽‍♀️) and the actual boyfriend got a good but generic present like idk a nice sweater (idk what you get boyfriends?) and ofc the bestie has the secret restored car

BUT

The bestie SWAPS WITH THE BOYFRIEND

Big sentimental reaction toward having the car back, thanks exchanged, Eddie looking on yada yada

After the party or maybe just a quiet moment at the party Eddie is chilling outside or whatever and then buck approaches and is like *meaningful look* “thank you” and Eddie is like tryna play it off and be like ah yes ik how much you love sweaters *mental facepalm* and then buck is like🤨 unimpressed cut the bullshit face and he’s like no Thank you™️ (in bold and italics and tm to communicate to you guys the tone) and eddie drops the act and is just like “fuck how did you know?” and then buck is like “I’ve never mentioned half those minor details or their sentimental value to him before” and then Eddie once again tries to play it off and be like “well I helped but it was him” and then cue unimpressed cut the bs look no2 and Eddie gives up and is like you’re welcome (do I need to tell you guys why I’m putting this in bold and italics or can you envision the cow eyes that go with this line?)

*soft smiles from both*

Then the scene literally ends with them sat next to eachother on a bench or wherever they are and chatting abt none sense or maybe over the semantics of actually fixing the car while they do the little head leaning on the shoulder thing

[nanjokei]

all your sycophants telling you to be meaner, nah youre just an asshole. did you like. even read the post in the first place. bc it doesnt look like you did?? i get that it makes you feel cool and good abt yourself to mock other ppls thinking-out-loud type posts but you basically telling them to shut up and keep their thoughts out of The Pure And Perfect Tag™ and then go on to say "oh im autistic ive never gotten the chance to rly speak up and be mean so this feels good" like..... thats so painfully hypocritical. you should KNOW how it feels to be told "shut up no one cares" so why are you doing it to someone else? so im telling you to shut up. youre annoying and no one cares and you shouldnt use other people as punching bags. asshole

did you get it out of your system. that's great. i don't really feel like giving a benefit of the doubt response anymore given after the first ask you decided to go ballistic like this... like, not even being sassy, i could have just responded "are you mad" and published it. but i am a neurotic person who will respond even if it's not in the way i initially set out to. just for you.

just for transparency, here's the first ask i got last night:

hi. i think you are projecting a lot of feelings onto me that i did not express and stretching my original statements. which in some sense, some may see as understandable! i was being less than gentleman-ly! i don't know if this is the op messaging after i blocked them or a friend coming in to give me a piece of their mind, it does not matter. this is something i was gonna say even in the first ask: had i been approached for an apology, i probably would have caved and apologized, because i'm weak to that kind of thing. at the very least even if i didn't agree, i would have wholeheartedly apologized for any distress or trouble. this isn't bull or me trying to flatter my way out of a situation. the response i got— which a friend ended up reading, to be honest i just blocked right away— was thoroughly strange, something something apologizing and being like "idk tumblr tag etiquette" and choosing to delete the original post. which i would not know how to respond to. i'm not some kind of tag police or god of tumblr or whatever, so why apologize to me or delete the post. i am writing this response under the assumption that it could be someone else, but a hit dog will holler, in this one sentence i will address OP directly: that response was strange. had i read it, i would have either ignored it still or apologized, i have no idea, but initial my response really was "but i have no power over this person or anyone". i did not ask for you to clean up your contribution to a tag or police it. i simply stated my opinion on my blog when prompted by a third party expressedly out of earshot of the op. is that a morally correct thing? proooobably not. but it is the internet. "why are you, the person who got hated on, continuing the cycle of hate" type bs might as well be a self fulfilling prophecy. if you feel this way, why send me asks about it at all if you're gonna go ape over me not responding immediately? does it mean so much to you? go ahead and block. i do not argue with people online. but i'll respond because clearly you want one. not gonna prostrate myself before anyone, and respond just as coldly as you are painting me out to be. this is my special fanservice to you, since you wanted to believe that about me so badly.

>pure and perfect tag

i do not check tags for a reason. i checked it one time. i guess this implication comes off of what i said so i'll say it out clearly but i genuinely could care less past the initial pang of cringe what is in there. had nonnie not continued to converse with me i would have moved on ans forgotten about it. i am not a police or a militia. it means nothing to me most days if a tag is "good". who the hell cares. you are obsessing over my existence, my opinion and the weight of such a thing a bit too much over here.

>shut up no one cares

neeeever said this, and no one has ever said this to me. the story i recounted about being called toxic was in the youtube comments and was 5 years ago. no one told me "no one cares". it just hurt my ego. anyway, if someone cared so much to send two asks about it, then thank you. i really won't shut up.

>never got the chance to speak up and be mean

ok.

>my sycophants

it was one nonnie. are you obsessed with me or something? i am like one random ass blogger on a dying website. i do not have an army or cult of personality. i am just one guy.

>end of the ask

heard you loud and clear. thanks for the feedback, not gonna reflect on it much though. it was an asshole move. does it make me an asshole? yup.

it was catty and petty of me. i knew that much from the very first ask i answered. but op wasn't tagged, i didn't send anyone to them either, so i can only really think "what were you doing on my blog anyway". because yes, this is a blogging site, not a pvp site, i didn't engage with anyone to start fights. didn't bring op's name into it, didn't actively mock them (the comment about them not being special was ad hominem though i admit to that much. sorry.)

you cannot expect everyone to be 100% nice and handle people with kiddie gloves in their own blog space when they are not bringing you into it especially given i did not direct anyone to anyone's post.

had it been me i would have just blocked and moved on. pwease no steppy and all that. whoever sent op an ask about it to make them respond is kind of a drama obsessed weirdo lol. like i'm just saying. causing both me and op a headache. it did not have to shake out like this. neither of us were gonna engage with each other and everyone could have gone to sleep without any icky feelings. honestly, from my point of view, both of you are strange. wow, i am barely hiding who i think is behind this ask. but it really is addressed very generally.

don't send me another ask! i will just publish them with no response. this situation was entirely avoidable and i lament that you decided to both waste my time and your own with all this. just block me like i asked!

[mewisloud]

rant sorry

i have a good friend of mine who has what i would call a relatively extensive history of faking mental illnesses?? but then being kind of a dick to me when i actually show symptoms of mine

they very likely fake tics, (i hung out with them a couple days ago and they did not tic at all the entire time until it was brought into conversation and they started ticcing like nonstop, and when the conversation shifted they stopped for the rest of the time i was there. i do not have tics so i cannot be sure of anything, but that just seems really suspicious to me especially considering the other stuff they’ve faked.)

after a lot of pressure from my therapist (who told me i should probably have someone to kind of check up on me if she wasn’t available in the future) i told them about being psychotic! and their instant reply was ‘oh me too lol’ which should have been a warning to me because i am what they call a teenager and psychosis is very very not common in folks my age!! but i did not listen to this and was mostly excited to have a friend who had the same experiences. anddd then when i had a panic attack and locked myself in my bathroom for like the entire day because i was convinced if i came out that i would be killed by the people who watch me, they told me i was crazy and making things up for attention. they also like to make fun of me for my disorganized speech (which is an actual symptom of my actual y’know mental disorder??) sometimes i have trouble saying things correctly because my thoughts are disorganized so my speech is often stumbly or nonsensical and i literally cannot control that!! but they never fail to tease me ever single fucking time i say the wrong word or a sentence that doesn’t make sense or stumble over a word or literally anything

other stuff too, using language and terms that make me uncomfortable even though ive asked them to stop very politely multiple times!! they refuse to use the word ‘delusional’ correctly. jfc. they do anything and mess up or they forget something or get confused and ‘haha im so delusional lmao’ no ur not please stfu. same thing with panic attack?? mild indecisiveness over what to eat for dinner? ‘omg i had such a panic attack.’ parents catch them doing something mildly embarrassing? ‘panic attack’. couldn’t find their phone? ‘omggg i had SUCH a panic attack today.’

grrrrrr

[transrightsjimin]

covid rants as per usual

had 4 teams meetings today nd slept too few nd i did alright at work but im rly overwhelmed frm the social interaction nd a colleague suggested we go out to somewhere outside w colleagues, to like a picnic or smth bc most of us rarely saw each other irl nd the rest was super enthused nd i just sat there like :S

nd afterwards i tried to finally, finally, like fcking 2 years too late but finally setting up a word document to go drop all these articles and useful websites nd posts in, to debunk eugenics sht and provide helpful websites, resources, accounts etc for those who do want to actually end covid and be able to go to safer places or get vaccines tht might otherwise be thrown away etc.

long sentence but urgh anyway i searched for omikron to check if it's spelled w a K in dutch and the search results were ONLY articles in major news website articles in dutch that celebrate how omicron is 'milder' and defenses of stuff opening up even while infection rates r terribly high and rising and i just felt sick to my stomach already from an NOS article tht claimed we should go for a 'controlled spread' approach for 'natural immunity' as if that wasnt already explicitly stated to be the policy since 2020, and also this child pedetrician / dutch CDC (OMT) member Patricia Bruijning who shared in a dutch talk show she wouldn't vaccinate her kids if she had them etc.

just god i tried to keep working on the word file but the first good article i wanted ti add is inaccessible outside the US nd i got too tired sifting(?) thriugh bookmarks on twt bd just only have the titles for what i wanted to have in the word doc i wanted to base my carrd on. im just mad i started this so late and everything stresses me out nd nothing can relax or distract me

maybe i shiuld rly draw out my feelings but idt i should rn bc i just get even more fristrrated thinking about it urghghg

im just tired of this eugenics bs and so scared of getting infected and for losing loved ones to the virus and every day i dont finish this carrd is another day a person didnt read or share it nd risks their health nd life more. and im just so so fking sick of the gaslighting, being told by others both on individual nd societal level tht i'm exaggerating nd ir's not that bad and that i'm too extremist and 'we don't know if masks work' and i need to consider other people's perspective as if that isn't shoved down our throats by the state nd literally the majority, and that it's not an issue if people die abd that theres no risk for kids and that we're safe and covid is over or over soon and and go along w the givt and media and crowd bc 'polderen' and 'acting normal' nd just the cultural, educatiobal, medical field etc that dont give a fck about face masks nd any other measures bc ppl dont knpw covid spreads via aerosoles nd otherwise dont care

also just remembered my manager / boss in a meeting complained a lot abt how a student in some survey filled in they think the non-EER student tuition fee (abt €11K / year i think) is too high nd didn't make sense w the 'inclusion and diversity' message of the uni. which yeah they're absolutely right abt lol

nd he was furious nd was concerned that this one student would harm the reputation of the school and disagreed strongly bc tuition fees for those groups might get even larger bc the university (supposedly) has too few funds nd needs more bc the student loan system will be stopped etc and him nd colleagues were poking fun at our faculty head(? i think) who complained 'this is a school but this sounds like a business!' (not in the call) nd manager nd colleagues were like 'of course it's a business' nd manager/boss used a weird analogy for why the complaint made no sense nd he said this is why they need to tackle the issue w the marketing team nd use data to determine more where to gather international students from bc those graduates result in larger funds for universities. just. christ. like i somewhat enjoy my job but the school is so corporate i dont know what to say nd again just that whole. polderen sht which basically just means 'go along w the status quo or shut up'

[rulcrs]

UNA BARATHEON (NEE HIGHTOWER). 59. Dowager Lady of the Stormlands. The Puppeteer.

INTERACTIONS | MUSINGS | INTERROGATION 

bc i am absolutely a Hot Mess and have been trying to write una’s bio/intro for ages now yet i am FAR FROM DONE (even tho i’ve already hit like 1.6k words), pls have this mess of a “””bio”””

BACKGROUND

una is an ambitious woman and would stop at literally nothing to get what she KNOWS she deserves

she is the daughter of a minor hightower lord and an essosi from mantarys (more on that later - keep that IN MIND). her mom told her so many stories how their bloodline and ancestors were rulers of mantarys under valyria and ingrained into una that she should have her cake AND eat it too

miss una was a BOMBSHELL (still is lbr). she had so many suitors but she turned all of them down because they lacked smth and she refuses to lower her standards!! 

and then she met jullen - he was cute and strong and romantic, but most of all he was a LORD. so ofc una said yes asap

they had been married for 35 years but unfortunately they were never able to have a child of their own. una suffered many miscarriages and boii did they try and try and try, but when she already approaching late adulthood, she was like “aight enough of this bs, let’s adopt a child”

she adopted zirq her baby boii, gwilym her baby boii pt. 2, and cass the light of her life. she LOVES THEM more than she loves anything else. (( side note: jullen has a bastard child but we don’t talk abt her bc una doesn’t like her lma0)

she is the Game of Thrones Tinder. she’s had ladies brought up under her direct guidance and supervision, and she has had influence in their matchmaking. she loves seeing these girls turn into strong women. her ladies flourishing makes her flourish. but ofc, this is una we are talking abt here, so she most definitely didn’t just do all of that bc she wants to be nice lma0. nuh uh. she did that to have influence over as much of westeros as she can. the ladies she guided into womanhood are often loyal to her and she still keeps in touch with them. 

lady baratheon and lord baratheon - that’s how they were referred to. jullen had the title and birthright to the stormlands, but una held the reigns. under their joint ruling, the stormlands flourished the most out of all of the other southern kingdoms. they supported the targaryen rule - heck, una even arranged for her sister-in-law to marry one. (shoutout to selina and una’s half-targaryen nephews and nieces)

all would have been well, honestly. they could have reached greater highest and amassed greater wealth and power, but jullen fucked up. when the famine induced by the long winter hit the north, the stormlands were one of the first to send them aid. which is ok, ig??? but again - JULLEN FUCKED UP. una uncovered her husband’s plan: he wanted to give the north food and manpower for the great price of FREE. b r u h

anywaaaay, una and jullen had a great fight about that just before the coronation of queen selina (and ig of lucius malfoy targaryen as well rip to him). they were supposed to settle the issue after the coronation, but uh oh what’s this????

jullen died 

CORONATION ARC: It was Una’s cry that rang first. Her husband next to her dropped dead into his soup bowl and turned purple. Immediately, the tragic events during the coronation soon followed. After making sure all of her children are safe, Una started a vigil for her deceased husband and stayed in her apartments -- completely disallowing any visitors aside from her ladies-in-waiting and her children. The only time she has been seen to emerge from her chambers was right as her chambers came under attack during the festival.

WANDERERS ARC: After the attacks, Una busied herself with making sure that her children were safe and were in recovery. It broke her heart so much that her daughter, Cassandra, had been in harm’s way; and so she removed herself from her isolation and made herself available to her children. When interviewed by her sister-in-law, Queen Selina Targaryen, Una made her opinions and thoughts known regarding the North’s heavy involvement in both of the attacks that happened. 

FORRESTER EXECUTION ARC: (she was this meme) Una kept her distance from the actual proceedings, but made sure she was in the loop.  Although she had mentioned that perhaps Erik Forrester would have been a trustworthy person during the interrogations, she had been heard to have supported his execution (especially after he admitted to all of the killings). She expressed her relief at how quickly the situation has been handled and how “justice has been served.”

CURRENT ARC: Since the execution, Una has been seen helping her young son Zirq, now Lord Baratheon, with the matters of state and courtly affairs. She has been keeping a low profile, but her reach extends far and wide. A storm is brewing, this is merely the calm before it makes landfall. For Baddie Plots, please feel free to DM me. I LOOOOOOOOVE DRAMA AND CHAOS

[kimnjss]

yeah its def a mess right now i agree with jimin. like y/n its okay to have feelings & its okay to realize something you thought would just be a one time (no feelings attached) thing not actually being that. like the entire time you were telling your friends your not investing in joon this that and the third you still got to know more than his fuckboii persona.

y/n was coming at joon bc she took offense to yoongi message. namjoon lowkey trying to persuade outta her what the issue is while sitting there with maya … is a dumbass move bc how you want honesty when you not even being honest to yaself. we get you realized your feelings for y/n might not be reciprocated so you go for maya whose got rocks for brains and feels for you. even though you could give a damn about her … like even his friends know this.

moreover, we’re all aware their going to stay emotionally constipated and not just communicate these things. like honestly if y’all can talk abt theories, music, go on ‘dates’, facetime, etc … yalll can hash things out. like this is stupid and im glad jimin called y/n out and he aint even do it in a ruuuuude way like ugh 😑 … but again instead of either of the involved parties communicating their going to keep doing the same bs. . . bc they in my personal opinion have their heads up their respective rectums 🥴

😡 also if they ‘knew what it was from the jump’ namjoon energy during them shacking up shouldn’t have bothered her it should’ve just been a ‘eh i dont see what the girlies are fighting over him about’ type beat even IF we still peeped namjoon internal monologue bc we all saw it leading up to him catching feelings but y/n

likewise the hold vibe that y/n painstakingly wants everyone to believe is that ‘she won’t catch feelings she just wanna soil her oats’ isn’t really working when we just saw how they was going at in them text messages like babes no is convinced and thats okay

… but yeah im freaking annoyed at them both but also kudos to yoonmin trying to help

p.s. - maya need to get some dignity about herself aint no way in hell i’d be messing with a man (celebrity be damned) who dont have a lick of feelings for me and his own friend group know that and see me as ‘a crazy chick’ and said celeb use me as a ‘bussdown’ 🙄😤

- 🍑

her actions are not matching her words in the slightest bit . nd it sucks bc it's obvious to everyone around them that they were feeling more for each other than they were willing to admit - but bc both of them are so stuck in their heads nd the ideas they came up with on their own ., they're refusing to look at the situation differently . yn has decided that she's not the type of girl to fall for a fuckboy nd get her heart broken nd bc of how joon presented himself in the beginning ., she's determined to stay to true that .

while she didn't take to well to the thought of joon thinking that she can't do her job bc of what happened btwn them ., it's so clear that it's more than that ! like if this was before they slept together - or even if maya wasn't there ., she would've approached him so differently . but bc she already feels salty abt him parading his girl toy in front of her ., she was already hostile before even typing out the message . nd joon had no business bringing that lady around - regardless of wht yn 'says' yk shit was real ., come on .

like??? can we talk abt how deep the two of them got ., like fr!? joon was showing her sides of him that no one out of his gc has seen nd she was enjoying it . they were getting to know each other nd spending actual time together - nd we can assume that joon wasn't a horn dog throughout all the time that they spent together ., so they were really just vibing??? nd the fact that they're so much alike - talking abt shit like this should come easy to them ., buuut ! it's bc they're so much alike that it's hard . both of them are clutching to what they already decided nd it's not helping .

which brings me to her reaction to them sleeping together !! it's bc she knew it was more (at least it felt like it) so for him to be so detached during the entire thing was like a slap in the face to her - like 'oh so this is really all that this is,' but bc she's trash at talking abt the things upsetting her ., she just took the information nd ran with it .

i feel for yoongi :( bc he really was just trying to make things easier bc he knows that joon was abt to be on some fuck shit - but yn twisted it nd then he got in trouble :/

- don't even get me started on maya ., sad each nd every time i write that girl bc how can someone be sOO DUMB!? he makes it so obvious that he's using her - but she still has it in her mind somewhere that shit's gonna really happening btwn them .

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 36

time travel arccccccccccccc yessssssssss

I have been waiting SO LONG to reread this arc hhhhh yessss

starting off strong with the sexy roller cover. nice

I love the disconnect of ‘orion pax: outlaw’ compared to the last time we saw him in shadowplay where he was orion pax: supercop

he’s still punching people for JUSTICE or whatever so I guess not much has changed

oh my god this is the issue with the many many two-page spreads...the first time I read this issue I didn't realize that was a thing and GOD I was SO fucking confused. there's already a lot going on in this issue/arc but this made things so much worse hvbhjkdfbsk. I powered thru and still managed to understand most of the arc despite reading half this issue out of order (essentially) bc the website I read it on split the pages up and I couldn't tell they were supposed to be doubled (and also I'm dumb so I didn't figure it out)

anyways, the actual issue...windcharger is out here using his powers to rip a dudes arms clean off. wow!

and there's skids getting punched in the face. Ls

and glitch! a totally minor character of course...

MANNNNN I SO adore the panel of all the lost lighters appearing in a cloud of purple smoke, all posing epically....SO fucking good, peak sci-fi coolness vibes, A++

as usual jro killing it w/the titles, ‘elegant chaos’ is such a great name for a time travel arc

also reading the tfwiki has shown me that many of jros titles are song or album titles, to which I say - that's epic and I love it. with jro doing it, I feel like it straddles the line between referencing music and the very fanfic-esque ‘title things after music’ vibe. I love it

oh god I forgot they use bs cybertronian time units in this sometimes lmao...I mean of course they do but still like, what the fuck is a cycle. is that a day. I feel like these words all have no meaning/the meanings change drastically depending on continuity. I cant keep up and also I'm lazy and don't care enough to try

I love rodimus did u know

poor riptide looks so confused lmao

IS....IS REWIND PIGGYBACKING TAILGATE...THATS SO FUCKING CUTE....I cant fully tell bc of the page layout but ooomg so precious. minibot buddies

whirl saying ‘chuff’ just reminded me how british jro is hvbhakjhdsfbs sometimes it just Jumps Out in mtmte and I'm like Oh God Britain Is Real

I really like the mtmte approach to time travel and paradoxes and whatnot. its just complex enough to be interesting but not too convoluted that it bogs down the story. perfect sci-fi fun!

mannnn chromedome talking abt brainstorm :( I'm sad abt those two hhhhh

and I love how at this point, nobody in the cast ACTUALLY knows brainstorm well enough to know what he’s really doing - including chromedome, who’s ostensibly his closest friend, somebody he’s known for a while - and even the readers don't really know what he’s up to...I like the mystery tbh

cant believe rewind wrote orion pax’s biography, omg. completely forgot abt that detail

cd saying ‘I love it when he talks history’ about rewind....hhhh I love cdrw so muuuuch

godddd the line rodimus says abt whirl - how they need people like whirl around who are ‘happy to get in the way’ of danger and death - that shit haunts me man like...rodimus is basically saying that he’s bringing whirl along to potentially die in place of someone like orion pax (nevermind the fact that whirl dying would ALSO fuck up the timeline)...like, how deep does it go?? is he saying that bc he knows whirl has been trying to get himself killed for a while now, or just bc whirl likes violence? mannn I cant...the character intricacies...man

anyways...I love rodimus he’s such an interesting character. you have that fucked up moment and then in the next panel he’s saying ‘if you want to call it a time phone, I wont stop you’ about the quantum walkie-talkie. he has the RANGE

oh and then rodimus casually volunteering chromedome to do mnemosurgery on anyone who might accidentally find out about them time traveling, which is again fucked up on multiple levels. the raaaaange

vjaksbhdhfusajbfdjk that panel of the lost light squad just standing there like idiots reminds me of that post where someone said abt that panel ‘these characters have a collective 3 brain cells’ or something hvbjadkfnksfdl

rodimus IMMEDIATELY breaking his own rules by trying to reassure pax that they're good guys by pointing at his autobot badge, even tho the autobots DONT EVEN EXIST YET at this point...my boy PLEASE go purchase some brain cells from the store 

and the fact that rodimus introduced himself to pax w/his real name...shouldn't he go by an alias or st??? that seems like a good time travel rule since optimus and rodimus definitely know each other later 

and like, did they not anticipate that some of the people in the past would recognize some of the lost lighters hgbajkhdjfnjksf like cd and whirl get Instantly recognized...great job guys

they are all SO bad at this hvbahskjdhfbasjkf I cantttt luckily for them the orion crew is handing them easy alibis 

‘the dugout’ is that a baseball reference????

also I love the scenery here, the bg looks like rock but there's metal piping and stuff running thru it, its so cool...really adds to the whole ‘cybertron biomes are made of metal’ thing

‘ancient history’ rodimus are you KIDDING ME-

cyclonus time travels to the past and IMMEDIATELY finds a window to stare broodingly out of. icon

tailgate thinking orion pax is SUPER COOL continues here from shadowplay and I love it...tailgate is so cute

and the tg saying ‘don't you think that's awesome, cyclonus?’ hhhhh so cute

one reason I love this arc so much is that this is the arc where the gay Really amps up 

TRAILBREAKER.... oh man ;_;

are you telling me that this outlaw base they're in has ONE bed for all of these people. what the hell vhbaksjhfnsal

cant believe rung sampled roller’s steroid juice box

also cant believe robot steroids exist. except yes I can and I love it

oooh roller’s a 0/1%er? I forgot abt that 

cant believe orion pax just grabs some random phone that belongs to these weird new people and answers it. WHO does that

goddddd megatron and orion’s conversation....destroy me

HHHHHH like...the HISTORY....the regret...the missed opportunities...its all so palpable....goddddddd

and of COURSE, the whole thing is steeped in tragedy...the ideological differences that will become the foundation for a 4 million year long war...megatron, who believes that you need to burn things down and start again to really make change stick, and then orion, who says ‘reform is the answer, not revolution’....AUGHHH the intricacies. mannnn

‘you sound lost’ 😭😭😭

‘its tragic.’ yeah, that about sums up their relationship, especially at this stage and in this continuity 

anyways. [cries about old man megatron talking to young naïve orion pax] goodbye

AUGHHH and then we jump to rodimus ONCE AGAIN breaking his own rules and trying to save trailbreaker...IT HURTS MAN...god I love rodimus, I feel like him being broken up about crewmembers like trailbreaker dying is one part regular sadness over people he knows dying for tragic reasons, and one part personal guilt at someone under his command dying, even if he’s not involved/at fault. I love the dichotomy of this emotional reaction that comes only partially from empathy/emotion, but also comes from a kinda self-centered need for success as measured by people under your command staying alive. and taking into account rodimus’s life it totally makes sense that he’d act like that...GAH I love it. the complexity of it all!

orion pax saying ‘you should read [megatron]. it’s powerful stuff’ I'm screaming, so many LAYERSSSSS

I fucking love time travel AHHHHHHHHH like the opportunity for interactions like these....chefs kiss

‘hey, best friend! miss you!’ rodimus is such a shit hvbdajkfksjhfd 

‘very sus’ rodimus ahead of his time w/the among us lingo

oooh and then they realize that the senate is trying to kill the sparks...gotta save the babies!

tailgate scolding cyclonus for bluntly stating that you'd wanna be subtle when killing newborns...hhhvbhsdfhhhhhh I love them sm

ooooh and rewind has an interesting suggestion - that the senate is actually trying to irradiate the sparks into being outliers...rewind is so smart I love him

and the fact that he’s using history from his database...love it

rodimus sending cyclonus and whirl out like pokemon

ROLLER NOOOO DONT GO OUT THERE

also wow this is literally the 5th (I think) double page spread in this issue...the confusion I felt the first time I read this...lmao 

and now this is literally one of my favorite issues so I'm glad I know what's going on lmao

oh man rodimus telling cd not to erase trailbreakers memory even tho that could jeopardize the entire timeline... :( 

oh man I didn't even notice but roller getting debris blasted into his face like that makes the whole ‘roller is tarn’ theory even more legit considering tarn’s face scars....

‘tighter the better’ hhh don't say that orion. but also, that’s the companion phrase to megatron saying ‘the deeper the better’ hvbhasjkhdfbaksjlf

I do love the semi-campy action hero antics that orion pax gets up to. its just so fun, even when the stakes are high and things are serious

‘this is the greatest thing I have ever seen’ tg ily

THE REVEAL THAT THE SPARKS WENT TO NYON...so rodimus just saved himself, basically...time travel is so trippy

GODDDD ND THEN TRAILBREAKER...HVHHHHHh 😭😭😭 THATS SO CRUEL MAN

oh man that last panel of trailbreaker holding up roller’s juice box...iirc the first time I read this I thought that was roller (cause of the juice box I guess? idk I'm an idiot) so I was like oh ok he must've come back or something. very much related but I didn't really think about tarn being a particular pre-established character and totally didn't read the whole ‘roller is tarn’ thing that was going on 

which in my defense ruth also didn't pick up on any of that while reading this and eventually like 2 issues before the reveal I had to prompt her like ‘you should maybe be wondering WHO tarn is’ vhbahjksdfbaksjdf

so! issue 37! this issue is a solid favorite of mine, id say definitely top 5 or even 3. I'm super biased bc I fucking LOVE time travel, it’s seriously one of my favorite tropes ever, and this issue hits all the time travel beats I love. characters traveling to the past and interacting with people they know! conversations that have multiple meanings bc of TIME TRAVEL! trying to save someone who meets a terrible fate in your future! fun time travel action! the time traveling characters being generally terrible at hiding the fact that they're time travelers! ITS SO GOOD. 

and I love the clever way everything is tied together here - where we get a nice continuation of shadowplay, with this taking place shortly after that with a lot of the same cast, and time travel classics like the good ole ‘if we hadn't travelled back in time and done what we did, the future we came from wouldn't have existed at all,’ in the flavor of ‘rodimus saving his baby self’ and ‘rodimus NOT saving trailbreaker’ and ‘everyone forgot about roller :(’ 

ok but like, did the lost lighters just go ‘oh well, guess rollers gone now.’ like they DID realize that the outlaw crew would have no idea what happened to him if they got their memories erased, right?? did the lost lighters figure that since roller never reappeared after this time period, that was how history was ‘supposed’ to go and they shouldn't mess with it? am I overthinking it? as usual: yes, probably. I love overthinking about comics, in case that wasn't obvious

basically...I love this issue soooo much. so so good and a bunch of fun tropes that I love. I mean the whole arc is like that for me since I love time travel so much. so I cant wait to (re)read more!!

[aoifessweets]

you should tell us a little abt each one of ur oc's here,,u know-4 newcomers 👉👈

Oh ofc 😳 I only got a little bit done so its gonna be a long post.

1) Leonardo

He's Carolyns friend and a model she works with. He has low-key feelings for her but isnt sure how to approach it. He's Hungarian ethnicity but just kinda says he's American since he's always lived there. He would love though to see where his grandparents came from though! Its a big dream of his if he just gets the time. He's the shortest male oc I have at 5'6. And he owns 3 cats.

2) Carolyn

She's a professional photographer who's super into alt fashion, though she definetly deals with a bunch of bs since she's a black girl in the alt scene. She used to be on the track for her college till she injured her leg at a river area her and a few friends had went to during the summer of her junior year. She has used photography and photo editing to cope with the fact she had difficulty walking for a while as it kept her mind busy and off of any leg pains she had. She greatly enjoys the company of Leo and how sweet he is to come over and help with things when her chronic pains flare up.

3) Maéva

She was an aspiring actress till her manager turned out to be a huge asshole. She's from France originally and had moved to America to presue her dream. Now and days however she's still trying but its harder by herself while searching for a new and hopefully better manager. She's got a slight drinking habit as well as smoking, but she would like to quit at least the smoking for her girlfriend, Florella. She is part of a poly relationship with Florella and Nicolas, however her and Nicolas's relationship is strictly platonic as she leans more towards being with women romantically. She also has an OnlyFans....so do with that information as you will.

4) Florella

Still considering herself a baby witch, she currently works at a small witch shop as a sales associate. Very much a softy with a love of soft or neutral colors, as well as a love for small rodents. She owns 3 mice and a ferret, all named after Italian desserts. She's Italian American and the youngest of 5 children. She's 5 foot and tries not to get angry and such since she's very emotional and tends to be a mad cryer. She's actually really adventurous and loves to try and experience new things but only once you can get her out of her shell. She tends to be very reserved and modest until she knows someone better.

5) Nicolas

This jackass. This bastard man. Grew up with a shitty dad and no mother as she had passed from cancer when he was young. He only remembers having to see her in the hospital but he holds on very close to those memories. Has a sour attitude towards most people except Florella, and has a slight teasing but more relaxed relationship with Maéva. Anger is this mans middle name but he's worked extremely hard to have better control of it. He's of Spanish descent but doesn't really speak a lot of Spanish because his dad tried to teach him. He likes guns, knives, drinking, smoking, and fighting but never as much as he loves to actually have time to do artwork or write poetry as sappy as it seems to him. He's extremely talented however and tries to do commissions to help them all make extra money. He does help with Maéva's OnlyFans and takes pictures for her.

6) Margherita

She was a skater girl, she said see you later girl. Works at a clothing store in the local mall but really wants to quit since she hates it there. Her best friend and kinda fuckbuddy is César. They've known each other since middle school. Goes to college for Nursing, however high key she just wants to drop out and do stripping. Mostly because of how expensive college is. Enjoys partying over doing her homework and smoking only weed as everything else is trash. Says she Catholic but my goodness the heretic nature of things she decides to do is astronomical.

7) César

He's a local tattoo artist and music fanatic, he also helps his cousin with teaching her dance classes on the side. He's of Afro-Cuban decent and tends to get really excited over small animals. He considered becoming a vet but he physically can't bring himself to be near snakes as they're one of his biggest fears. He enjoys old cars, video games, and going to the skate park with Marghe. Though he hasn't been skating as long as her since he took a break for a few years, but he still finds a since of joy going there with her. Talks a lot with his hands and gets loudish when excited. But what can he say? He's an expressive man! He partially wants to presue a relationship with Marghe however does worrry that perhaps she wouldn't be interested in being exclusive. But he'll get the courage one day.

Sorry its so long but this is what I got so far 😳 I hope its good!!

[yuichiroe]

So this is going to address everything i have been accused of by @yuichrio in the past. Some of this will be me debunking and some of this will be me blatantly admitting to stuff i have done wrong. Im going to be using screenshots from yuus post about me. 

Theres going to stalking mentions and suicide mentions and for a vrief moment there is a drug mention  so be wary of that. Here is the original post abouit me

Lets just start from the beginning of their post abt me

apparently this started in 2015 shortly after i had broken up with yuu. it was a very messy breakup that i dont want to get into.

he claims that after i had broken up with him, i started using his typing style and started iding as ciel out of no where (which he had ided as at the time)

He uses this as proof/context of me taking his format/style

i will not be commenting on this as i cannot really... remember much from 2015 and maybe i had an unearthly grudge against him back then but honestly i cant say much bc i cant remember.

then he fast fowards to 2017

like he says in the post, me and him were on ok terms by this time. he says he has no idea i had even been following him until one of his friends told him i was following him. i had been following yuu for a long time on vent and after a while i knew it was him but never directly approached him or really even interacted with him much because i had no ill feelings regarding him at the time and didnt care to start anything with him. 

anyways back in january, yuu attempted to commit suicide(im only bringing this up because he did). and a week later, i list yuichiro hyakuya on my me page. he’s ided as yuu for a very long time, and anyone whos been mutuals with him for a while will know that. He made a post abt it on ig and he has addressed my responses to the post.

Here, i say i have been hiding that id for about a month. which right here, that was a lie. i had just started iding as yuichiro.. probably a few days ago. But, under that where i say i had been questioning for a few months is very true. they get dms from their friend of a hidden account i made when i ided as not yuu but mika. 

so to explain, his friend showed him a secret account in which i ided as mika. i tagged myself in art of mika and my boyfriend at the time as yuichiro. Let me explain this in the best way possible since all the other times i had tried to explain, yuu either interrupted me or kept refuting with ‘LOL U HAVENT BEEN QUESTIONING FOR MONTHS’. i had. i had tried to get into owari no seraph many times before this happened. no one has to believe my word on this, and since i have no proof, this can totally be disregarded. i didnt want to id as yuu at first because i actually liked having yuu as a friend. he was a nice mutual. i also didnt want to start petty kin drama with him either. i knew he’d blow up on me. so, i ided as mika instead for a few days. i wanted to see if it would feel like an okay coping id as thats what i thought yuichiro would only be if i decided to id as him. i dont remember if i was planning on sbing him at the time because his boyfriend ids as mika and i knew he’d still be uncomf but i didnt know if he’d blow up. in turn, i made a secret kin account to try and see if iding as mika felt right. Obviously, seeing how most of my identity revolves around yuichiro, it didnt. i had to drop the id within two days because it never felt like me.

this is why it was posted on the same day. you can write this off as bullshit, but this is my explanation.

he now says despite me being white, i went by yuu. which is entirely my bad. i have since then used yuu as an alternate name which isnt something i ever should have done. Now here is where things get Messy.

so here i am, giving frustrated and annoyed responses. this is because he was so intent on me trying to steal his identity and be him. And by now ‘identity’ doesnt just mean me iding as yuichiro. he claims that i have stolen traces of his personality and maybe even his personality as a whole.  This whole situation here can be refuted with the above ‘questioning’ explanation. i had lied about me being yuu for a few months, but the questioning argument still stands as that was 100% the truth.

when he addressed this, i acted out of anger and annoyance and insulted him and just left my account because at the time, i was 99% sure he  wasnt going to listen to my explanations and were intent on him being right. i wasnt in the right for just abandoning my account without talking this out maturely and just giving sarcastic responses, but this is what happens when im called out on stuff, even if it was true or not. i apologize for sarcastic and aggressive behavior. this probably couldve been avoided if i had just tried to explain myself in a calm manner.

i had moved accounts after this. i would sometimes go back on it to see if yuu was talking shit about me, to which he had eventually found out about and sbed said account. now, he shows dms of me ‘cutting off’ people that do not agree with me and

i am going to shed light on these dms.

this person and i have a bad past in general, they have accused me of things i will not go into now, but to shed light on This situation here, they had been making me uncomfortable for a few week anyways. they said they would support me being mikaela when i admitted to them i was going to id as mika for the time being. then, they turned around on me and sent yuu some stuff that i had told them about me being mikaela as receipts on me. so not only had they made me very uncomfortable, but they had broken my trust in them and i didnt want contact with them anymore. to show why i was uncomfortable with this person, here is a screenshot of them vagueing me on their ig account after we had ‘made up’ for past situations. 

so yeah you can see why i was uneasy in the first place. they were jealous of my bf and i being closer than i was to them. they later apologized, but i didnt completely forgive them as it made me and my bf WILDLY uncomfortable about her. so yeah, them breaking was trust was the last straw and i cut her off. Here is another instance of mecutting someone off that they show

NOW THIS... .Ohhhh h hhhh hhm ygod this is a fucking. Okay. this was my qpp. i had recently broken off from being qpps with him because of his drug addiction. He knew drugs made me uncomfortable and yet he still posted about him being high as hell on sleep meds and texted me about whenever he was fucked up and would always crytype his was out of situations . i would frequently vent about him to my bf at the time and after a while, he got upset about me being closer to my bf than i was to him. (i had only been qpps with him for a few weeks, maybe even less and i had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and had stronger feelings for him.) i have very little receipts on the shit hes said to me bc i have since blocked him on multiple accounts and do not have access to his vent accounts. him and i had cut ties Multiple times after i broke off being qpps with him, but he kept coming back to me and telling me he loved me which i didnt want to hear anymore. after the drama with yuu (even though he stated 3028534905840958 times that he couldnt hate anyone because it was ‘against his morals’) he posted some Very ugly shit about me.

this is all i can dig up because i think i had deleted most of the screenshots because i hated seeing them in my camera  roll. but there were Many posts like this of him wanting me to kill myself and for craig to leave me.

 he made up shortly after this drama but i didnt accept it or forgive him. 

now, back to the yuu drama.

what edna claimed i copied for the ‘clicky clicky’ thing was on my blog where the links where i put ‘clicky clicky!’ and yuu had that in his links. While it was a petty thing to accuse me of and i have to admit, i didnt copy it from his blog, he did have the same thing on his links.

at this point i was vaguing people on tumblr that were involved in this drama

and i had yuu blocked and i did try to unblock him multiple times at his request, but for some reason on mobile it will not let me unblock people.

heres a screenshot of me being immature and avoiding the problem yet again.

heres a half assed apology from me and after that i left it all alone and so did he.

skipping to march 2017

i requested him on vent out of paranoia and i wanted to know if he had any vent of him talking shit about me. at the time, i went by a different name and had different ids listed but i quickly changed everything back. he got uncomfortable with me very quickly out of paranoia of him thinking i was going to steal is bf from him just because i was friends with him. mika was a sweetheart but i am not a homewrecker + i am 99% sure i was dating someone at the time Lol.....

skip to april 2017

i send another apology to which i later admit it was only to follow them to see if yuu was talking shit... i will get into that later when it comes up again.

here is me ‘admitting’ to everything they have accused me of. this was mostly bs and to try to End this shit. i did get the idea to id as yuu from yuu bc? i wouldnt have really found out abt o////w////ari/// no se///ra///ph at the time if not because of yuu and his bf. i am not going to get into the iding outside of my race thing now. at the time. i had not been trying to separate myself from nonwhite ids as most of them had helped me cope with insecurities and whatnot. as for the abusive tendencies thing, i had showed abusive behavior in the past and will not make up excuses for that and for a long while now, i have been bettering myself in that sense

like i said, the apology was bullshit. but now, i am actually sorry to yuu for saying such nasty shit to him just because i was in the wrong for some things and didnt want to admit it.

tyeah like i said the mika thing was mostly paranoia on their part since i never had any intent on making mika hate yuu or to date them or whatever they thought i was attempting to do. so after that shit was pretty peaceful. until i started iding as ciel.so yuus bf dms me all, ‘i gotta sb you for rn’ and im all ‘ok’ and they both sb me at the same time and now i realize smth was wrong and apparently i did smth and that smth was iding as ciel.... Which let me be honest i forgot that yuu ever ided as ciel since the last time he brought up that id was probably around a few years back a little after we broke up as shown at the top of this. so that shit was left alone but iwas So confused as to why they both sbed me at the time + i was so scared they were spewing hate abt me to their followers so i made a spy account to try to figure out wth even happened. 

i, of course, made it seem like i didnt know what the fuck he was talking abt. but yeah this was me. fast forward to may 10th i had begun iding as yuichiro again as a main id and was gradually getting more and more attached to that id. on vent, i had changed my name to yuichrio and used yuus art as my icon. I had debunked the icon thing as i found it on google, but i knew very well that yuichrio was yuus url. i just wanted the next best thing to yuichiro in all honesty but it was still kinda gross of me to use his url and it kinda dug me into a deeper hole.

here the comparison that yuu made.   They asked me to take down that pfp which i did and then i deleted their comment and blocked them immediately.

now to may 11th

This still makes me uncomfortable that even now they keep up with my new blogs/users even though i have only interacted with them Once since this happened and it was a complete accident. (i followed him last night on accident).

like yuu said himself, this was his weakest argument in this entire thing. maybe i had gotten a few ideas from his links before, but generally, most people do use those things in their links. 

Now i do believe i was reincarnated and i have delusions as well so i  dont know if i am just ... delusional abt being reincarnated or if i am actually am but this is what i believe and like i said, i am not going to delve into spiritual beliefs and i certainly didnt get the idea from yuu. 

this was the only evidence that i had to give to yuu. but i did debunk the icon thing.

yeah things get out of hand again. they had receipts on me and knew i was lying about all this so as soon as they wouldnt believe what i was saying 100%, i was getting to be ... a bad sport lol.

i got passive aggressive towards yuu and 

in turn i started insulting him and blatantly lying again.

“so what sky was saying here is an obvious lie. i mean, theres the fact that i KNOW the request was accepted before this dm started, the 7 hour gap before i replied for them to drink that all in, and the fact that they literally SAID they are following me, right there. so obviously they were aware they were following me and had no reason to make up some random fake “apology”. i still have no clue what their motive was, but it says a lot about the kind of person they are.” yeah this is all vwery true i didnt have to actually apologize as i had already been accepted and i knew very well of that fact.

so here is where he tries to analyze me

heres with the questioning shit again so go back up for that explanation.

Hwre is where i get Angry again and start to just want this situation Over because hes brining up shit i could not refute at the time. 

so after all this, i block yuu once again. this is all that i have on this situation in the posts about me that yuu has made. i have followed yuus accounts many times and in a way you can call that stalking but my reasoning for doing that was to see if he was shit talking me 99.9% of the time. if i had picked up any of yuus personality traits im sorry.  adn i am sorry for being so immature and not admitting to my fault earlier. i want this drama to be 100% done and for this shit to Never happen again i am not going to add onto this post unless yuu himself asks for me to explain some more shit that i hasnt listed. i am sorry to yuu for copying your layouts and for repeatedly stalking your accounts. i want nothing to do with you or this situation anymore after this post.

[realtalk-tj]

Do you guys have any advice for current juniors that might be really stressed out abt college? My grades aren't even nearly as great as everyone else so I'm scared that I wont get into any colleges I want to go to or wont even have a shot at the crazy colleges everyone will be getting into next year, but I also just want to stop worrying about college since it's really affecting my mental health. I think I'm okay in the other college-y aspects like ecs and sats but my grades worry me so much :(

Response from Firenze:

I’m a junior with subpar grades who’s barely managed to avoid stressing too much about college myself, so I feel your pain. My personal philosophy regarding worrying is that if it’s not productive, don’t do it, so that’s how I’m going to offer advice. Maybe the same approach will work for you.

Regarding college: even if you feel like you have bad grades compared to the people around you, you’re still at TJ. You’re still going to graduate from one of the top public high schools in the country. Especially if you apply to schools off the beaten track for TJ students, your extraordinary high school experience will stand out. Have you looked at Hidden Ivies: Thirty Colleges of Excellence? Ms. Kropf has a copy, and personally I’ve found it a great resource. Grinnell College in Iowa, for example, sounds amazing to me, and judging by the empty scattergram on Family Connection, they don’t get too many applicants from TJ. However, as a junior on the cusp of second semester, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Thinking about college beyond the level of taking the standardized tests (kudos on doing well, by the way, that will only help you in college admissions) and figuring out what colleges you’d like to apply to is pointless. So I’ve been putting it out of my mind.

If you’re worried about your grades, think about what you can do to improve them. It’s still only first semester. Put more effort into your math homework or Webassign. Talk to your teachers. Go to tutoring eighth period. You know your situation. However, you don’t have to. Your grades do not determine your value as a human being, and I’ve made peace with my Bs by deciding that… well, there’s a certain amount of effort I’m willing to put into schoolwork, and beyond that I’d rather be doing other things than trying to get an A. If there are ways you’d rather be spending your time, go for it.

Also, what do you gain by caring about “crazy” colleges? I don’t know or care which of last year’s seniors are going to Ivy League schools. You said yourself you care about getting into a college you want to go to. If you’re stressed out by comparing yourself to others at TJ, I can’t imagine Harvard would be much fun at all. tl;dr you’re going to survive this, and I recommend managing your worry by either solving the root causes or deciding that the effort to get perfect grades isn’t worth your time. 

Response From Fleur:

I went though the college admissions process and I may go through it again. I’ve thought long and hard about this, and here’s what I’d like to share:

My best advice for juniors and below at TJ when it comes to college admissions is to set realistic expectations. Expecting to get into an ivy league is not reasonable expectations in my opinion. I personally believe that schools with ridiculously low acceptance rates to get into shouldn’t be the schools you’re really seriously considering when you think about where you want to go to college, but more of an application that’s a cool opportunity you’d like to take. A good measure of how hard it is to get into a school is a look at the acceptance rates. You can also look at average GPAs and test scores. I think test scores will be more important for TJ students to look at than GPA.

Why your GPA will most likely be noticeably lower to the average person accepted into selective colleges (and that’s OK):

TJ has grade deflation. A lot of it. At any other regular high school, most TJ students would be getting All A’s. But TJ isn’t any other high school, and I think the vast majority of the stress students are under comes from the fact that they’re worried because their grades won’t be as high as other people’s when it comes to college admissions just because of the nature of the grade deflation.

The average GPA of students accepted at my college was a 4.0 unweighted, AKA, the students at my college were accepted with straight As on average. And then there’s me, with my ungodly low unweighted GPA in comparison (probably the lowest or one of the lowest in my TJ class), dragging down their GPA admissions average because my GPA was THAT LOW. No way your high school GPA is as low as mine.

I still got in though and I’m pretty good at school actually (I find that every TJ student is actually really good at school and as time goes on they get even better at it, I also find that they’re often conditioned to think otherwise and that everything else in life is like TJ (hard and miserable at times and they’re not good at it). It’s not. Nothing is. Remember: Grade deflation!!!)

Btw, here’s a good grade deflation article. You may notice things about it that seem similar to TJ life: http://college.usatoday.com/2012/06/23/how-grade-deflation-can-affect-your-college-selection/

The schools I think TJ students can realistically aim for should probably have an acceptance rate between 25-40%. Any higher than 40% and you’re very very likely to get in. “Safety schools” in my opinion should accept about 70% or possibly even more of students. Also, make sure you choose safety schools you’d be really happy going to! If I apply to college all over again, I’m going to increase the amount of schools I apply to in that approx. 25-40% range.

If you want to get into a college and you graduated from TJ, there is a college out there that is more than willing to accept you :)

Actually, considering how many colleges there are in the US, there are probably hundreds of them. There are colleges out there that accept 99% of people who apply.

But yeah, it’s really important to set your expectations realistically. The criteria of what you want out of the school is more important than the school’s reputation. Do you want quality food? Dorms? Surrounding area? Country? City? A certain major? Greek life? Size? Sports?...etc. If you really look for these qualities in schools you’re likely to get into, you’ll find schools that you’d like to attend. After all, there are like 4000? colleges in the US.

Your life has a lot of meaning, and the name of the college you attend doesn’t factor into that meaning. The name of the college you attend also doesn’t make your brain last longer into old age, or keep you healthy, or help you form close personal relationships with other people. You’re also too young for it to be possible for you to be a failure. You’re going to get into a college. And if you make an effort to apply to colleges that you’d want to go to... :) Also, more than a third of college students transfer colleges so you’re definitely not stuck somewhere for 4 years after you get in. In addition, a bunch of people take time off between HS and college and go on an adventure before applying or going to college. Whatever you want to do in life for a career does not depend on the college you attend. The elitist TJ bubble is very wacky and misguided and your self worth and the college you go to aren’t actually related. Some people take time off in the middle of their college experience...etc.

Something that really helped me calm myself about college admissions: Remember how some colleges accept like 99% of people that apply? I found one of those. It seemed like a really nice place. Had it’s own path to a beach too. No grades, located near where I was born in the Pacific Northwest...etc. Knowing the location I was thinking “I would feel right at home there”. It helped me not worry so much because heyyyy almost a 99% acceptance rate! (Evergreen state if you’re wondering). Also, I decided I wouldn’t tell anyone what college I got into. I didn’t let anyone publish it in TJ today either. I kept it secret, told people I wouldn’t tell anyone. I remember telling a few people, but I just made sure I wasn’t the focus of the colleges conversation. I wanted to stay as separate from the elitist TJ bubble, where self-love and meaning and purpose in life and “service above self” doesn’t exist, as I possibly good.

If you need some things to destress and relax from all the worrying:

Helpful with meditation: http://quietkit.com/

Helpful with self-care: http://youfeellikeshit.com/

Helpful with self-compassion: https://yogisurprise.com/downloads/The-Art-of-Self-Love.pdf

If you need someone your age to complain to, there’s a hotline for that: https://teenlineonline.org/talk-now/