#i do not know enough about this. i should.
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This is my favorite hobby~♥️
As long as I’m still interested in the things I make, then I’ll still share whatever I draw into this space :)
It’s nice to have other folks interested in the stuff I create because it’s exciting and fun to chitchat about it. But that’s all just bonus. I’m gonna make whatever I want whenever I want, no matter if others are interested in it or not lol
#I know that it used to be a rareship before episode 5#but even after ep 5#I got so many messages or comments across platforms that were along the lines of ‘boo radioapple boo!!’#but I just kept at it because 1. i was now a possessed woman and 2. i liked writing n drawing radioapple#I’d also get messages when I draw radiohusk like ‘ew mare is pro ship’ and after I learned what that meant#those disinterested folks still weren’t gone stop me lol#toxic yaoi is good shit#anyway all this to say everyone should just have fun with their hobby#I think if I had 2 followers I’d still post just as much#but the quality of my art would probably be pretty bad LOL#a huge reason why I started feeling motivated to improve was because really talented hazbin artists followed me#and suddenly I was like *OVERDRAMATIC ANIME GASP* ‘I can’t let them down…’#haha no but there is something about having an artist you admire start to follow you that makes you like ‘I must get stronger’#this is fun in its own way haha#i do try to keep that element from making me feel pressure tho#I mean yall have seen my chicken scratch doodles#ight enough rambling it’s 3am#(I went to bed too early T_T)
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[ I've seen how Caleb is often described to be a sex god without any experience at every first time (and I eat it up) but I also think we should discuss the other side of it. Kinda of an addition to my previous post ]
Let's discuss virgin Caleb that since he hit puberty has been struggling with his own desires and when he finally received the green light from you it's like a dam was unleashed.
This man is BEYOND sensitive. And so damn needy too, to the point that greedy would be a much more suitable word for him.
He started having wet dreams about you after the first kiss and the walk of shame to the bathroom every morning to wash his boxers is very real.
He's got a leaking and painful boner every time you kiss him for a little too long and he can't get enough of the taste of your tongue on his.
Having you on his lap is both bliss and torture. He'd try to hide the fact he's hard the first few times, not wanting to scare or pressure you, but each time your hips pressed down against his boner he'd be rolling his eyes back into his head and forcing down a groan.
I'm a dry-humping truther and I firmly believe the first time he came with you was by rubbing himself against your leg like the dog he is while you two were making out.
Caleb is mortified about his first experience with a blow job and he wishes you'd forget such an embarrassing moment of him.
But in all honesty, it wasn't his fault. You offered out of nowhere, which left him no time to mentally prepare, and just by having you kneeling down in front of him with your hand wrapped around his cock had him gripping the edge of the desk behind him, to the point the wood creaked at the sheer pressure.
And when you licked along the precum that was dripping down his length and pushed your tongue against his swollen tip he came and he came hard. His cum coating your face, getting onto some parts of your hair and in your mouth.
It goes without saying that he spent the rest of the day apologizing, but the sight of you swallowing his cum that had gotten onto your lips made him dizzy and hard again.
I'm sure he'll be fantastic in bed eventually, but your first time is a mess. Literally. Caleb is so eager to explore the body he's desired for so long and to please you as much as you do to him.
Everywhere he can reach is littered with dark and very obvious hickeys.
He'd have your hands pinned next or above your head so you couldn't touch him otherwise he knows he won't last at all.
Though, all his efforts bear no fruit because the second this man bottoms out inside of your warm and tight insides he is cumming again.
His body would tremble as he held his entire weight on his forearms to not crush you and he bit down on his lips.
After switching condoms, you'd have to get on top while his shaky legs recover from his orgasm and oh gods he's really trying his fucking best right now.
He's panting against your neck when you roll your hips and cause a loud moan to escape his lips, followed by his strong arms wrapping around your middle like a bear hug as if to keep himself grounded. It's rather cute, really.
He'd come with you this time, if not a little before from you clenching around his cock and the sweet whimpers because he's oh so very sensitive.
His hands would feel up your thighs then shamelessly grab your ass while he looked up at you, loving the view of you on top of him and he's got the cockiest grin you've ever seen on his face.
Now we're talking about someone with YEARS of suppressed sexual desires so you better brace yourself because he's far from done.
Caleb would use the entire night to learn everything he possibly can about your body, besides what he already knew. Each sweet spot that make you cry so good for him and just how deep he can hit inside of you to have you gasping for more.
He's sloppy, he's desperate, he's pathetic and it's messy. He'd ask between shaky breaths and his tone is almost whiny "Does that good? I need you to talk to me sweetheart, c'mon."
"Tell me what you want and I'll do it. Teach me how to make you feel good."
"Can I go deeper? Fuck- Please? Please? you feel so good-"
"I can't stop— Just one more, I'll make it good for you too, please, gods please, I need more of you or I'll go insane."
Caleb is the type of pathetic loser that would get a nosebleed while he pounded into you for the nth time.
He'd kiss you when you showed concern, spit trickling down your chin as the taste of iron would spread on your tongue before he pulled away to admire the sight of you completely disheveled for him. Because of him.
He licks the few drops on your chest, the crimson smearing with the sweat glistening on your skin and leaving a trail that only added to the perverted satisfaction that you're his.
Almost every position is crossed off the list in a single night and he's willing to do anything you ask of him. You want to ride him again? He's sat. You want him to hit it from the back? He's got you on your hands and knees already. You want him to eat you out? Please, by all means take a seat on his face. You have complete control over everything that happens most of the time.
It's morning by the time you two pass out, or run out of condoms in the box honestly, but you can fully expect him to try something when he gets into the shower with you the next day. Hey, he's just helping you clean up like a good boyfriend should ;) .
#im losing my marbles#and im feral about it#but im free#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#caleb love and deepspace#lads caleb#caleb x reader#caleb smut#lads#lads smut
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Jealousy, Jealousy with: Housewardens
Riddle Rosehearts
It was honestly impressive how oblivious some people could be.
You weren’t even doing anything particularly inviting—just standing in the courtyard, minding your own business—when someone you barely knew strolled up and started laying it on thick.
“Wow, you must be tired,” they grinned, leaning a little too close for comfort. “From running through my mind all day.”
You stared. Slowly blinked. “...I literally don’t know who you are.”
They laughed, undeterred. “Oh, a little mystery! I like that. We should get to know each other. How about a—”
Before they could finish, a very distinct presence materialized beside you, and suddenly, your hand was clasped in a vice grip.
You turned your head, already stifling a grin. Riddle stood stiffly at your side, his expression carefully neutral—too neutral—but his fingers tightened around yours with unmistakable possessiveness.
And then, in the most Riddle way possible, he opened his mouth and immediately started critiquing their uniform.
“Your tie is loose, your shirt is untucked, and your posture is abysmal,” he declared, gaze sharp. “It’s disgraceful. If you have time to loiter and bother people who are clearly uninterested, then you certainly have time to fix your appearance.”
The person, previously brimming with confidence, visibly withered. “I—wait, you’re—”
“Housewarden Rosehearts,” Riddle confirmed, tone clipped. “And if you ever plan to talk to my partner again, I strongly suggest you do so properly dressed.”
There was a beat of silence. Then—without another word—the person bolted, nearly tripping over themselves in their rush to escape.
The moment they were gone, you turned to Riddle, your amusement barely contained. “Riddle,” you said, voice dripping with mirth. “Were you jealous?”
He scoffed, tugging at his collar. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
You raised a brow, glancing pointedly at the way his grip on your hand hadn’t loosened in the slightest. Then, you took in the very obvious, very intense red dusting his cheeks.
He refused to meet your eyes.
You laughed, delighted, and before he could protest further, you leaned in and kissed him, pressing a quick, affectionate peck to his still burning cheek.
Riddle went still.
“…You are jealous,” you whispered against his skin, just to tease.
“I am not,” he insisted, but his voice cracked ever so slightly, and that was enough to send you into another fit of laughter.
Still smiling, you tugged on his hand, leading him away. “Come on, let’s go do something fun before you start assigning uniform inspections as an act of vengeance.”
Riddle let out a heavy sigh, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he laced his fingers more firmly with yours, the corners of his lips twitching—just barely—before he let you drag him along.
Leona Kingscholar
Leona was going to lose his mind.
Three days.
Three days of watching you run around with those two idiots and that furball, pouring over textbooks, muttering formulas under your breath, completely oblivious to the fact that he existed.
You were studying. Fine. He got it. But you were studying with them.
And not him.
The moment the door to Ramshackle creaked open, you knew.
It was a sixth sense at this point—an awareness of a certain presence, of a lazy kind of arrogance that filled the air like a storm cloud waiting to break.
And break it did.
Because before you could so much as blink, a heavy arm was slung around your shoulders, and your entire world tilted.
You let out a startled yelp as you were bodily dragged from the dorm, Ace and Deuce frozen mid-review session, Grim’s tail puffed up in sheer betrayal.
“Oi—!”
“Not oi,” Leona drawled, utterly unbothered by your flailing. “Mine.”
You spluttered. “Leona, I have to study!”
“You can study later,” he dismissed, hauling you across campus with a grip so firm you had no choice but to stumble along. “You’re overdue for a break."
“I don’t have time for a break—”
“You do” he interrupted smoothly, and that was that.
You huffed, glaring up at him. “This is kidnapping.”
“Tch. If I was kidnapping you, I wouldn’t be this obvious about it.”
That was… not reassuring.
By the time he finally dumped you onto his bed, you were half-expecting him to declare an official study ban, but instead, he settled in beside you, his arms casually looping around your waist, his body half-draped over yours like an oversized, incredibly smug blanket.
“Go on, then,” he murmured against your shoulder, voice low and easy. “Study.”
You gave him an incredulous look. “Here?”
He hummed. “Why not? I got old notes. Bet they’re better than whatever those idiots are using.”
You blinked. “You actually have notes?”
Leona scoffed, reaching over to grab a notebook from his desk. “What, you think I just guessed my way through school?” He flipped it open and, to your absolute shock, the pages were filled with neatly written summaries, key points highlighted with the kind of precision that suggested he did actually pay attention. “See?”
“…I hate that this is actually useful.”
“Told you.”
You sighed, already feeling yourself sink into the warmth of him, the slow, steady rise and fall of his breathing, the way his fingers tapped lazily against your side, like he knew you were starting to relax and was deliberately making it worse.
Still. If you had to study, this wasn’t… terrible.
You let your head rest against his shoulder, flipping through the notes. “Fine. But if I fall asleep, it’s your fault.”
Leona smirked, his breath warm against your skin. “Then I guess you’ll just have to take a nap right here.”
You rolled your eyes, but the next time you felt him shift, the unmistakable curve of his smile pressing into your neck, you didn’t even bother fighting it.
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul Ashengrotto was a patient man.
A calculated man.
A businessman.
Which was the only reason he hadn’t already torn his hair out strand by agonized strand over the fact that you had been frequenting some other café for the past two weeks.
At first, he’d assumed it was a novelty thing. Maybe you had a moment of curiosity. Maybe they had some limited-time drink that you needed to try. Maybe you’d simply gotten lost—it happened more often than you liked to admit.
But no. You had kept going.
Loyal, devoted, regular patronage.
To a café that was not the Mostro Lounge.
Azul could not abide it.
So, instead of despairing in silence, he took action.
The next time you announced you were heading there, Azul smiled, adjusted his glasses, and accompanied you.
Because if there was something about this place that had captured your attention, then he would analyze it, perfect it, and eliminate the competition before they could even think about stealing away his most treasured customer.
(And partner. But semantics.)
At first, it seemed innocent enough. You gushed over some ridiculous limited-menu item with a starry-eyed enthusiasm that made him fond despite himself, but it was just cake. Cake was replaceable. Cake was replicable. Cake was nothing.
And then the owner came out.
Azul didn’t move, but his businessman’s smile settled into place with all the calculated precision of a predator fixing its gaze upon its prey.
The café owner, meanwhile, had their full attention on you.
And they were far too familiar.
Far too comfortable.
Far too eager.
Their eyes crinkled with warmth when they spoke to you, their laughter was just a touch too soft, and their entire demeanor—
Azul’s fingers twitched. He did not clench them into fists, because that would be petty, but—
He was going to destroy them.
With a pleasant, affable smile, of course.
By the time you finished your cake (which Azul had methodically analyzed with every bite), he had already formulated seventeen different ways to not only outdo this café, but to erase its relevance entirely.
He escorted you back to your room, silent for once, but his mind was racing.
And then, after a long pause, he asked, “Do you enjoy their presence?”
You blinked. “Who?”
“The owner.”
You stared at him, visibly baffled. “…I like their cake?”
Azul opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
And then, after a long, suffering pause, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, because of course you hadn’t noticed.
Because of course you had been utterly, entirely oblivious to the way they had been practically fawning over you.
He didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry.
So, in the end, he simply pulled you close and kissed you, long and lingering, with a kind of slow, consuming possessiveness that had you melting against him in pleased surprise.
He held you the entire night, unwilling to let go, much to your delighted confusion.
And if, a week later, the Mostro Lounge mysteriously unveiled a bigger, better, and undeniably tastier version of that limited-edition cake, effectively nullifying any reason for you to return to that café—
Well.
Azul had no comment.
Kalim Al-Asim
Kalim insisted on picking you up after class every day, no matter how many times you told him it wasn’t necessary. He always laughed, dismissing your protests with a wave of his hand, as if the very idea of not meeting you after class was ridiculous. “Why wouldn’t I? I like seeing you first thing after class! It makes my whole day better!” And, honestly, how could you argue with that?
So, as usual, you waited outside, looking for that familiar flash of red and gold. You didn’t mind—Kalim was always quick, always eager, and always a little over-the-top about it, greeting you with his usual sunbeam of a grin and a greeting so enthusiastic it was like he hadn’t just seen you that morning.
But today, before Kalim arrived, someone else approached.
At first, you thought it was just an overly friendly upperclassman looking to chat, but the way they leaned in, the way their eyes swept over you, made your skin crawl. Their words were dripping with false charm, their smile just a little too knowing, and the moment they took your hand, something in you snapped.
You were seconds away from yanking yourself free and letting them know exactly what you thought about their audacity—
And then, before you could react, a firm hand wrenched theirs away from you.
You turned, eyes widening in surprise, and saw Kalim standing beside you.
Only—this wasn’t the Kalim you were used to.
There was no bright, carefree smile, no cheerful energy. His expression was carefully blank, his eyes steady and serious in a way that sent an unexpected shiver down your spine. He wasn’t angry—no, you’d seen Kalim angry before, and this was something different. This was controlled, quiet disapproval as he stared the person down, his grip on their wrist unyielding.
“Don’t touch them.” His voice was even, but there was no room for argument.
The person sputtered something, an attempt at an excuse, but Kalim’s gaze didn’t waver. He didn’t shout, didn’t make a scene, didn’t need to. The sheer weight of his presence was enough, and after a tense pause, the person hurried off, clearly rattled.
And just like that, Kalim let out a breath and turned back to you, his usual grin slipping easily back into place, warm and reassuring. “Are you okay?”
You blinked.
Your heart was pounding. Not from fear—not even from lingering discomfort—but from something else entirely.
Because, apparently, Kalim without his smile was unfairly, ridiculously attractive.
You managed to nod, clearing your throat, forcing yourself to breathe as he took your hand—gently, reverently, the complete opposite of the unwanted touch from before. He squeezed it lightly, beaming at you as if the last few minutes hadn’t happened.
Later that night, as the two of you lounged together, he confessed, a little sheepishly, “I hated seeing them touch you.” His grip on your hand tightened slightly, as if just remembering it made his stomach twist.
You couldn’t help it—you laughed, leaning in to kiss him. He hummed against your lips, pleased, the jealousy from earlier completely forgotten.
And if, after that, Kalim insisted on being even quicker to meet you after class, practically appearing the second you stepped outside—well, who were you to complain?
Vil Schoenheit
You had been meticulous in your planning. A surprise party to celebrate Vil’s latest movie role—because, really, any excuse to throw a party for him was a good one. You coordinated with Rook (a double-edged sword, given his enthusiasm), found the perfect venue, picked out a cake that was as extravagant as he was, and carefully avoided any suspicion.
Or at least, you thought you had.
Vil, on the other hand, was about five minutes away from losing the last thread of his sanity.
You had been avoiding him. Not in the obvious, dramatic way—but in the subtle, infuriating way that made his stomach twist unpleasantly. Shorter conversations, quick kisses before running off, whispering in dim hallways with Rook, of all people.
Rook, who delighted in keeping secrets and spoke in riddles even when he wasn’t actively trying to be cryptic. Every time Vil so much as entered the room, your conversations stopped, and all he got was your innocent, suspiciously wide-eyed smile.
It was unacceptable.
But Vil was not jealous. Of course not. He was above something so irrational. Why should he feel threatened? The very idea of it was absurd. He was merely… curious. Concerned. Watching you sneak around with Rook had been horrible for his blood pressure, but jealous? Certainly not.
(And if his skincare routine had gotten even more rigorous to account for stress-induced breakouts, that was purely coincidental.)
So when you finally waltzed into his room, all bright-eyed and smiling, telling him to get dressed, his patience—what little remained—snapped.
In one smooth motion, he had you caged in against his vanity.
You blinked up at him, startled. “Uh. Hi?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You have been distracted lately.”
“Uh.” Your bluffing instincts kicked in, but it was useless. Vil’s gaze was sharp, his lips pressed into a thin line. He didn’t look angry, exactly—he looked… hurt.
And, well. That was enough to shatter your resolve immediately.
“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you!” You blurted, hands flying up in surrender. “We planned a surprise party for your movie premiere, and I didn’t want to ruin it! That’s why I’ve been sneaking around!”
Silence.
And then—
Vil laughed.
Not a quiet chuckle. Not a delicate, amused exhale. No, he laughed so hard that he had to lean on you for support, his entire body shaking with it.
And just like that, the tension was gone. He exhaled, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before straightening. “Next time,” he said, smoothing his hands over your shoulders, “just tell me.”
You sighed, half-exasperated, half-fond. “That ruins the surprise.”
“Surprises are overrated,” he declared. “Now, come. You planned this party, and I refuse to let you attend it looking anything less than perfect.”
Before you could protest, he had already grabbed your wrist, dragging you toward his closet.
And honestly? After all that turmoil, matching outfits was the least he deserved.
Idia Shroud
Idia had been off all evening.
Not in the usual, grumbly, "the outside world is a waking nightmare" kind of way. No, this was different. This was pointed.
He was pouting.
You had first noticed it when he refused to meet your gaze, keeping his head turned at an almost comical angle whenever you tried to look at him. Even when you sat next to him, close enough that your shoulders brushed, he still wouldn’t acknowledge you.
At first, you thought he was just having an introvert moment. But then you noticed his fingers—tapping on his controller in short, stilted bursts, his usual fluid movements replaced with something far more sulky.
Something was wrong. And worse, he was refusing to tell you.
So, naturally, you did what any reasonable person would do.
You grabbed his face.
“??!!??!” Idia made an undignified noise as your hands squished his cheeks, forcing him to finally look at you. His wide eyes darted around frantically, looking for an escape, but you just leaned in, resting your forehead against his.
“What’s wrong?” you asked softly. “I can’t fix it if I don’t know what I did.”
For a second, he wavered. You could see it—the way his hands twitched, his lips pressed together in a battle between staying mad and melting like he always did when you held him like this.
But then—betrayal. Pure, unfiltered betrayal flashed in his eyes.
“If you don’t even realize your crimes,” he huffed, “then you don’t deserve to be told.”
…Huh.
You blinked at him, torn between concern and immense amusement. His cheeks were puffed up in an actual pout, his shoulders slightly hunched like an offended cat. His hair even flickered with a dramatic little sizzle, the blue flames crackling indignantly.
So, you did what any responsible partner would do in this situation.
You kissed his cheek.
He made another noise—this one more flustered than betrayed—but at least he wasn’t turning away anymore.
“Idiaaaa,” you coaxed, voice lilting as you gently rubbed soothing circles against his jaw. “Come on. Tell me.”
He hesitated.
Then, in a grievously wounded tone, he finally muttered:
“You did your dailies… without me. Who did you do them with?”
You stared at him.
“…That’s it?”
He gasped, looking even more betrayed. “That’s it?!”
Okay. Maybe not the best response.
“I just—” You tried to stifle your laugh, but failed miserably. “I didn’t know it was that serious—”
“IT IS,” he declared. “We have an unspoken promise! Every night! We do our dailies! We do our pulls! We suffer together in the gacha mines!” He gestured wildly, his voice spiking in distress. “And today—today, you—you—” His voice wobbled. “You betrayed me.”
You clutched your chest in mock horror. “I have committed the greatest of sins.”
“You HAVE.”
You bit your lip, barely holding back another laugh, but then—then you saw his face. The dramatic pout, the still-flickering flames, the way his fingers fidgeted against his sleeve.
And suddenly, it hit you.
This wasn’t just about the dailies. This was his time with you. The one moment of the day where it was just the two of you, side by side, relaxed and rambling about nonsense while farming loot drops.
And you had accidentally robbed him of it.
Your amusement softened into something warmer. You pulled him closer, letting your fingers trail through his hair as you pressed another kiss to his cheek—longer this time.
“I’m sorry,” you murmured, resting your chin against his shoulder. “I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I did them alone, by the way.”
He mumbled something under his breath, still sulking, but at least he wasn’t pulling away.
“I promise I’ll wait for you every day from now on,” you continued, letting your fingers trace comforting patterns into his back. “Okay?”
“…Tch,” he muttered. Then, after a long pause, he finally slumped against you, his entire weight pressing into your chest.
You grinned. Victory.
“…You are watching the Premo concert reruns with me as compensation, though,” he grumbled, his voice muffled against your shoulder.
You rolled your eyes, amused. “Fine, fine.”
And that was how you ended up in Idia’s room for hours, marathoning concerts.
And if you showed up to class the next day completely wrecked from lack of sleep?
It was fine.
As long as Idia was happy.
Malleus Draconia
Malleus Draconia is above petty emotions.
He is the Prince of Briar Valley, an ancient being of immense power, the strongest fae in existence—he does not succumb to something as trivial as jealousy.
…That is what he tells himself as he watches you, once again, being hopelessly kind to people who clearly do not deserve it.
He watches as you nod along to Crowley’s latest absurd request, despite the fact that everyone knows that the headmaster is little more than a well-dressed menace with a penchant for delegating all responsibility to you.
He watches as some random student—a student who has never once acknowledged your existence before—approaches you with a bright, eager smile, undoubtedly about to ask you for yet another favor.
And he feels a peculiar, simmering sensation coil in his chest.
Malleus is not petty. He does not get jealous.
But he does dislike seeing you taken advantage of.
So, before this interloper can even get a word out, Malleus simply appears by your side, materializing in that eerie, seamless way that only he can. His presence alone is enough to make the student stumble back in terror, but then—just to be certain—he reaches out and takes your hand in his, lacing his fingers through yours with casual ease.
The effect is instantaneous.
The student goes pale. Their entire body stiffens, eyes darting between you and Malleus as if calculating whether their life is worth whatever ridiculous request they were about to make. The answer, apparently, is no, because they immediately spin on their heel and flee.
Malleus watches them go, his expression carefully neutral.
He usually dislikes the way people fear him. But today?
…Today, he finds himself rather pleased.
Satisfied, he turns back to you, fully expecting you to be grateful for his intervention. Perhaps a soft smile, a quiet "thank you," maybe even a fond squeeze of his hand—
Instead, he is met with your grin.
That knowing, teasing grin.
The one that says you know exactly what he just did. The one that says you know he is not as above jealousy as he claims to be. The one that says, without words, oh, so you’re feeling possessive today?
Malleus pointedly ignores it.
“Come,” he says smoothly, giving your hand the lightest tug. “Let us go somewhere… peaceful.”
You let him pull you along, but not without looping your arm around his and leaning into him with unmistakable amusement.
Malleus pretends he does not notice.
Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#leona kingscholar#leona#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul#vil x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#vil schoenheit#kalim al asim x reader#kalim x reader#kalim#idia shroud x reader#idia shroud#idia x reader#idia#malleus x reader#malleus draconia x reader#malleus draconia#malleus
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My Greatest Joy
IVE Yujin x Male Reader
16k words
'A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty.' — The Year of Magical Thinking
18+ smut
The Birth Crisis. The Great Vanishing. The Specter of Demographic Collapse. The media couldn’t decide on a name, only that it was happening. Some said Korea would be empty in a century. Others, ten years. Twenty-five, if they were feeling generous. A hysterical pendulum swing between denial and terror, between think-tank white papers and government campaigns urging citizens to bureaucratize what was once spontaneous: love, sex, reproduction.
But in Dunsan-dong, no one talked about it. Not really. Not in any meaningful way. The village shrank in slow motion. Affairs stopped happening—nobody had the energy, or the audience. The local divorce lawyer quietly removed ‘Infidelity’ from his services, then shut down altogether. Playgrounds grew ghostly. The corner food stands, once territorial battlegrounds for unruly teenagers, went bankrupt one by one. ‘Kids these days grow up too fast,’ one ajumma said, as if that were the whole explanation.
And yet, in all this entropy, two were born. A statistical error. A miracle.
Miracle is not hyperbole. In two decades, the birth count had been three. The bureaucratic failure of Love—yes, Love, capital L, the thing that was supposed to be instinctual, inevitable, the thing people built whole religions and K-dramas around—had finally completed its slow bureaucratic death. Love was no longer a force. Love was paperwork.
Except for two people.
For them, Love was everything.
—
'One move and you'll split open like a badly wrapped present.' ‘Is that your professional opinion?' 'That's my twenty years of keeping-you-alive opinion.' She's biting her lower lip, the way she always does when she's trying not to smile at your stupidity. 'And I really don't want to explain to some emergency room doctor why I have a boy bleeding out in my room at 2 AM.'
The gash should hurt more. Six inches of red spite across your forearm, but all you can focus on is how Yujin's looking at it—like she's found something breakable in a world made of steel.
'I really fucked up.' 'Did you?' Her touch finds your good arm, barely there. 'Or did you do exactly what you meant to?'
The lamp makes everything soft. She's wearing your t-shirt—the one you left here that summer when the AC broke. Cotton worn thin enough to catch shadowy curves underneath. Silk pajama bottoms that whisper secrets when she moves. You try not to notice. You notice everything.
'This might need stitches.' 'Are you volunteering?' 'Shut up and hold still.' But there's laughter in her voice, the kind that makes your chest tight. 'Some of us are trying to work miracles here.'
The first-aid kit looks wrong in her small hands. Those hands that used to patch up your scraped knees, that still know exactly where you're breakable.
'Remember that time in third grade?' Her fingers ghost over your skin. 'When you tried to convince me you could fly?' 'I could've.' 'You broke your arm.' 'Minor setback.' She laughs, soft and close. 'Nothing's changed, has it?'
Everything's changed. The way moonlight catches in her hair now, how her perfume makes your head swim, the careful distance she keeps even when she's touching you. But you say, 'Not the important things.'
Her breath hits your arm in warm little puffs as she works. Clean movements. No hesitation. Like she's mapping something she never forgot.
'Almost done.' Her thumb traces the edge of the bandage. 'Next time try not to bleed on my carpet?' 'Yujin-ah.' 'Mm?' 'Thank you.'
She looks up. Those eyes crack something in your chest. Then she smiles and whatever was cracked turns to stardust.
'So how'd it happen? And don't say you just slipped, because I know all your clumsy excuses by heart.' 'Just slipped.' 'Onto what? Did some wandering samurai leave their sword in Dunsan-dong?' 'You never know what you'll find these days.' 'Hey.' Her voice goes quiet, the way it used to when she'd tell you secrets at midnight. 'Tell me? I promise to not scold you…much.'
Face to face now. The universe narrows to this: her eyes on yours, her hands still on your skin.
'Okay.' You gesture with your good arm. 'Window.' 'What did you—' Her voice catches. 'If you've done something wild—'
Then you smile.
You watch her shoulders drop. It's a small thing, being able to do this—turn her static to quiet. Not exactly Superman stuff, but it's the only superpower you'd keep if they were dealing them out.
She knows. You can see it in how she moves—little half-dance steps to the window, taking your words as is—hopefully, something good. The curtain whispers. You don't watch. Can't. Your skin's electric with her lingering smell—something you'd bottle if you could, except that'd ruin it, the particular way her skin holds the perfume.
The silence stretches until you think you might snap. Then—
'What am I supposed to be looking at? Because all I see is Mrs. Kim's cat trying to fight a streetlight again, and—' She stops. 'What's it say?'
'Let me make sure I'm reading this right.' She's still facing the window, but you can hear the smile breaking through, eyes transforming into pure joy. 'Because either someone's confessing to me via Christmas lights at 2 AM, or the neighborhood's having a very very specific power outage.'
'These past years—' 'Wait.' She spins around, eyes catching lamplight. 'Did you seriously string up every Christmas light in Dunsan-dong just to—' She takes three quick steps toward you, stops. 'The lights outside the convenience store. The ones from the coffee shop. Even the ones from—' Her eyes go wide. 'You didn't.'
'Old Mr. Park drives a hard bargain.' 'His birthday lights? The ones he's kept since forever?' 'To be fair, they were already purple. Worked with the aesthetic.' 'And what exactly did you promise him?' 'Just my eternal servitude. And maybe repainting his fence.' 'The whole fence?'
'Both sides.'
She shakes her head, but her smile could light up the whole neighborhood. 'You're insane. Completely insane. Do you know how many people I had to convince about your mental well-being?'
'Had to?'
'Have to. Present tense.' She's between your knees now, playing with your shirt hem like it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. 'Though I guess now I'll have to change my story to "dating a lunatic who steals Christmas lights and nearly loses an arm trying to spell out love confessions."'
Your heart stumbles. 'Dating?'
'Well,' her borrowed shirt slips further, showing more shoulder. 'I mean, you did just write my name in stars.'
'They're Christmas lights.'
'Same difference.' Her fingers trail up your arm, careful of the bandage. 'Very romantic Christmas lights.'
'Does that mean—'
'It means anyone crazy enough to risk tetanus and Mr. Park's wrath deserves at least dinner.' A pause, then softer: 'Maybe breakfast too, if they play their cards right.'
'Just breakfast?'
'Don't push your luck.' But she's smiling that smile—the one that's always been just for you.
'Yujin-ah.'
'Mm?'
'All these years, did you ever—'
'Every day.' She doesn't let you finish. Doesn't need to. 'Every single day.'
'Can I—'
Her mouth finds yours: the way her lips part like flower petals at dawn, soft and inevitable. Her breath mingles with yours. There's the perfect arch of her spine, the way her breasts press warm against your chest through thin cotton, how her hips seek yours with an instinct older than thought. The taste of her, sweet milk tea and something darker, something that makes your blood sing. Her hands flutter at your neck, startled, before finding home in your hair, and there's that smell of her—woody, floral, fruity—that makes you dizzy, makes you forget where you end and she begins. Delicate sounds escape her, primal and pure, vibrating through both your bodies like a struck chord. Then she's pulling back, but her body stays honest—trembling, burning: alive with new knowledge.
'Sorry,' she whispers. 'Got carried away. We should probably wait until your wound is healed.' Her smile is so reassuring, masking the softest disappointment that her eyes couldn't hide.
But she was in luck.
Your fingers circle her wrist mid-fret, right as she's about to check your bandage for the seventh time. Her skin is cool against yours, pulse like a hummingbird.
'Stop fretting.'
'I'm not fretting.' But she's barely holding back a smile, eyes bright with something more than just lamplight. 'I'm calculating how many years Mr. Park's going to make you repaint his fence.'
'Already negotiated.' You tug her closer, feeling the way she pretends to resist. 'Two coats, both sides, and my firstborn child.'
'Bold of you to negotiate with children that don't exist.' She settles between your knees anyway, like she's found her way home.
'Yet.'
Her borrowed shirt—your shirt—slips further off one shoulder. 'You're impossible.'
'Impossible enough to steal every Christmas light in Dunsan-dong.'
'Borrow,' she corrects, fingers playing with your collar. 'We're calling it borrowing. Sounds less felonious.'
'Look who's being responsible.'
'Someone has to be.' But she's leaning closer, breath warm against your mouth. 'Since you've apparently lost your mind.'
'Lost it years ago.' Your thumb traces her lower lip. 'Right around the time you started wearing my clothes.'
She makes this sound—half laugh, half something else entirely. 'Smooth talker.'
'Only for you.'
Her hands find your chest, but there's no real resistance in it. 'If you tear those stitches—'
The kiss swallows her warning. This one's different—deeper, like you're trying to taste every year you've waited. She makes a sound that turns your blood to starlight, fingers curling into your shirt like she's afraid you'll disappear.
'That's cheating,' she whispers when you break apart.
'Is it working?'
The lamp catches gold in her eyes. 'Always will.'
Your hand finds skin at the small of her back. She arches like a cat stretching into sunlight.
'You're staring.'
'Can't help it.'
'Try.'
'Make me.'
She kisses you this time—soft, sweet, dangerous. When she pulls back, her smile could outshine every stolen light in the neighborhood.
'We should probably—' she starts.
'Probably.'
Her fingers find the hem of her shirt. Your shirt. Details.
What follows is an exercise in creative problem-solving. One functional arm between you, too much cotton, not enough coordination. Her hair gets caught. You both laugh. The shirt wins the first round.
'Left,' she instructs.
'My left or your left?'
'Wait—here… I got it.'
The second attempt goes better. The shirt surrenders its hold, and suddenly there's just Yujin—all golden skin and starlight. Her bra's simple beige cotton, but the way it holds her could make Michaelangelo weep.
'You're staring again.'
'Still can't help it.'
She kisses you quiet, hands on your shoulders, pulling you closer. Everything soft and warm and perfect.
'Can I—' your fingers find her back, trace lace.
'Yes.' Another kiss. 'Please.'
The bra falls away like a secret finally told. You forget how words work.
The air hums with the weight of revelation—her body an altar, every contour a psalm. Your breath tangles as you drink her in: the bronze aureoles, the arch of her ribs like a vaulted sanctuary, the pulse fluttering at her throat like a caged sparrow. She shivers beneath your gaze: the raw vulnerability of a soul laid bare.
Your palms ascend her sides, mapping the smoothness, the glory of it all—each sigh, each hitch of muscle, a dialect you ache to memorize. She tips her head back as your thumbs brush the underswell of her breasts, a whimper dissolving. ‘More,’ she murmurs, not a demand but a prayer, a beg; her fingers knotting in your hair as if you might slip away like smoke.
You oblige, slow as honey, mouth tracing the salt-sweet hollow of her collarbone. Her skin blooms beneath your lips—petal-soft, fever-warm—as you chart a path lower, lower, until her nipple grazes your tongue. She gasps, back arching. Her hands clutch at you, anchor and plea, as you worship her with unhurried devotion, savoring each tremor, each stuttered breath.
When her legs part—a silent invitation—it’s your turn to shudder. The heat of her radiates through the last fragile barrier, a molten promise. You press closer, the rigid heat of your unclothed shaft straining against her thigh, a visceral counterpoint to her softness. She rolls her hips, deliberate, and you groan as her warmth grinds against you, friction sparking like flint.
You linger there, foreheads pressed, breaths mingling, the world narrowed to the space between heartbeats. Her eyes lock with yours, galaxies swirling in their depths. ‘I want to feel you,’ she whispers, voice trembling. ‘All of you.’
You move as tides do: inevitable, reverent. Her thighs cradle your hips as you guide yourself to her entrance, the head of your shaft slick with Her. The first breach is a shared gasp—a threshold crossed in tandem. She tightens around you, velvet heat clenching like a fist around your length, and you still, trembling, sweat-slicked and spellbound. Her nails score your shoulders, anchoring you to the agony of slowness.
‘Slowly,’ she breathes, and you obey, each fractional advance a pilgrimage. Her fingers trace your jaw, your lips, as if memorizing the shape of this moment. When you’re sheathed fully, time suspends. Her lashes flutter closed, a tear escaping as she whispers, 'Yes.'
You move in thrusts. Her sighs crest into whimpers, into chants of your name, each syllable a spark in the gathering storm. Her breasts sway with the rhythm, nipples brushing your chest, while your hands grip the flare of her hips, guiding her into the tide. Around you, the room dissolves: there is only her skin, her scent, the liquid pull of her around your shaft—a mosaic of need and nectar, each fragment a revelation.
You kiss her deeply, tasting the salt of her surrender, as the world fractures, reforms, and fractures again.
—
Sheets tangled like an afterthought. A leg hooked over yours, pinning you in place with the quiet authority of someone who has long since decided where they belong. The desk fan ticks through its slow, mechanical arc, stirring the air, stirring her hair, making it brush your chin in the softest, smallest way possible.
She shifts, just enough for her ribs to press against yours. You feel her breathing. Deep. Slow. Listening.
‘I have an audition next week,’ she says, voice barely above a whisper.
‘For what?’
‘Community theater. Spring show.’ A pause. Then, quietly, ‘It’s dumb.’
‘You don’t do dumb things.’
She laughs. A real one. The kind that scrunches her nose a little, that makes her shoulders shake just enough to jostle you.
‘Except this,’ she murmurs. Her fingers trace slow circles on your chest.
‘This was a strategic decision.’
‘Oh?’
‘Carefully calculated.’
She laughs again, softer this time. Her breath is warm where it spills against your collarbone. You could live here. Right here, in the space between her voice and her warmth and the way her hair tickles your skin.
She props herself up on one elbow, looking down at you. The Christmas lights outside flicker purples and blues across her face, her skin, making her look like something caught between a dream and waking. Her smile is quiet. Not big, not blinding. Just there. Something she’s forgotten to hide.
‘Hey,’ she says.
‘Hey.’
Her fingers tap lightly against your chest. ‘Remember when you proposed to me behind the school?’
‘Which time.’
She grins. ‘The time I lost the play to Wonyoung and cried so hard I got a nosebleed.’
‘Ah. I told you it didn’t matter because you’d always be the lead in my story.’
She groans, dropping her forehead to your shoulder. ‘You were so corny.’
‘Still am.’
‘Yeah,’ she murmurs. ‘You are.’
You feel her smile against your skin.
The fan clicks on again, stirring the night, the space between you. The crickets outside hum in harmony with the distant sound of a train—faint, but there. The whole world is slowing down. Breathing with you.
She shifts again, nestles closer. Her lips brush your skin—your collarbone, then just above your heart.
‘I can hear you thinking,’ you say.
She sighs, slow and steady. ‘Just… happy.’
You don’t say anything. Just hold her tighter. Like keeping her close might keep the moment from slipping away.
She pulls back, just far enough to see you, really see you. Her hair is a mess. Her lips are still swollen. The Christmas lights turn her eyes into something impossible, something endless.
‘I love you, you know,’ she says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like she’s never known anything else.
You smile. ‘I know.’
She kisses you. Slow, deep, soft. Like a secret. Like an answer.
The fan ticks. The lights flicker. The night stretches on.
—
It was supposed to be small. A local theater gig, a footnote in her life story. Something that kept her busy while she figured out the rest. That was the plan.
Then a casting director walked into the wrong show on the right night. A single scene, a single line delivered with the kind of weight that makes people stop chewing their popcorn. Two weeks later, she’s everywhere.
At first, it’s just murmurs. Articles in the culture section. Buzzwords like promising, raw talent, the next big thing. Then the billboards go up. Magazines with her face—half-laughing, half-serious, eyes catching the camera like they know something you don’t. The first time you see one, it’s plastered on the side of a bus stop you used to share, back when the only lines she rehearsed were whispered promises and badly sung pop songs.
Now she’s too big for Dunsan-dong.
Not just big. Seismic.
Korea’s sweetheart, the industry's new obsession. Agencies circle like sharks with briefcases, smiling through teeth polished for negotiation. They offer her everything—money, sponsorships, a life where she doesn’t have to wait for the subway or count change at convenience stores. And she takes it, not because she’s greedy, but because this is what she was always meant to be.
You watch it happen the way people watch slow-motion car crashes. Helpless. Horrified. A little bit in awe.
Because here’s the thing they never warn you about when you love someone who's destined for greatness: fame isn’t a door. It’s a chasm. You can’t walk through it holding hands.
At first, you convince yourself nothing’s changed. You still talk, still text. But her replies come slower, her voice more rehearsed. The calls happen between set breaks, her voice filtered through exhaustion and bad reception.
Then the interviews start. The talk shows. The press tours.
She gets good at the answers, the little smiles, the artful dodges. The first time someone asks if she’s dating anyone, she hesitates. Just for a second. Just long enough for the internet to notice.
You tell yourself it doesn’t mean anything. That she’s protecting you. That this is just part of the machine.
But a few weeks later, you see a headline:
‘The Nation’s New Star: Who is Yujin’s Mystery First Love?’
And for the first time, it hits you—really hits you—how easy it is to be rewritten.
The tabloids build their own history, constructing boyfriends from old classmates, exes from co-stars. They don’t name you. They don’t have to. Because in the world they’ve built, you don’t exist.
And maybe, you start to think, maybe you never did.
Maybe love isn’t enough when it’s up against the weight of the world. Maybe you were naive to think you could be something more than a footnote in her legend.
Maybe you were never really two. Maybe it was always just her.
Moving forward. Rising higher.
And you—
You’re just the idiot standing still, watching her disappear into the stars.
—
Yujin called you up.
The night was cutting: cold, unrelenting Snow blew sideways, a thousand tiny knives catching on your exposed skin, but you sat there anyway—legs crossed, hands in your lap, all polite.
The bench was old, paint curling at the edges, the kind of place people only sat when they had no better options. You smiled at the irony.
You’d met Yujin in worse places. Loved her in worse places.
And maybe, just maybe, lost her in worse places too.
Then she emerged from the fog, a silhouette first, then a shape, then a person.
Five benches away. Maybe six. Distance had become an abstract concept, like time, like certainty, like the idea that love—real love—was enough to hold the weight of the whole goddamn world.
She didn’t sit. Didn’t hesitate.
‘Let’s break up.’
The words didn’t belong to the girl who used to steal fries from your plate, who used to call you at 2 AM because she saw a cat in the street and thought you needed to know. They belonged to someone else. Someone who had spent hours, maybe days, rehearsing.
Her voice was final. Her eyes were final. Everything about her, from the way she stood to the way the wind refused to touch her, was final.
You should’ve said something.
Anything.
But the air left your lungs in one sharp exhale, stolen by the weight of three syllables arranged in an execution sentence.
The snow caught in her hair, in her lashes, in the hollow curve of her collarbone, and she looked—god, she looked—like something from a dream you had once, the kind you woke from gasping, reaching for someone who wasn’t there.
And then she wasn’t.
She turned. Walked away. Snow swallowed her whole.
You could’ve chased her. Could’ve fallen to your knees, begged, pleaded, made a scene, made a fool of yourself. Could’ve grabbed her wrist, reminded her that you were not just some chapter to be closed. Could’ve thrown every memory, every quiet moment, every touch, every whispered I love you in her face like proof of something sacred.
But you didn’t.
Because Yujin never spoke like this. Not unless she meant it.
And that’s what gutted you most.
You sat there long after she was gone, staring at the place she used to be, like if you looked hard enough, you could rewind time, unbreak whatever fragile thing had finally snapped between you.
The sky stretched empty above you, stars sharp against the ink. You tried counting them. Tried counting anything to stop counting the ways you’d just lost her.
One star. Two. One mistake. Two. Three years. Four. Five benches away.
Maybe six. The wind howled, and you let it.
—
The beer’s flat, but that’s not why it tastes bad.
You lean against the bar, watching foam dissolve into something thin and lifeless, the way good things always do. Three years distilled into neon lights and a tab you don’t remember opening.
She’s 24 now. You keep count because she was impossible to avoid—billboards, subway ads, every damn screen flashing her face like she owns the world. And maybe she does. The brightest star, the nation’s darling, the girl who left and became.
You should be proud. You tell yourself you are.
But pride doesn’t feel like this. Doesn’t sit heavy in your ribs like grief. Doesn’t twist like a blade when you flip through channels and land on her.
The latest drama. Friends-to-lovers, some rom-com fluff. A special kind of hell, watching her fall for someone else, even if it’s scripted.
And the kiss—god, the kiss.
Over and over. Different angles, different takes. The guy has trepid shoulders and a weaker mouth. You want to reach through the screen, grab him by his stupid collar, shake him until he understands: You don’t get to kiss Yujin like that unless you mean it.
The beer in your hand swirls, a storm in a pint glass. You watch it spin, thinking about how everything these days seems determined to drown you.
Then Roach walks in.
Roach—half philosopher, half walking disaster. A man with too many past lives and a prosthetic eye that glows faintly under bar light, making him look part machine, part ghost.
‘That recovery group, they’re solid,’ he says, by way of hello. His voice is like chewing on gravel. ‘Might’ve been able to quit if I stuck around.’ ‘4.8 stars on Google, right?’ ‘Right. Wait. How’d you know that?’ His synthetic eye sits there while the real one narrows. ‘Been there.’ ‘What?’ ‘Been there. You recommended it.’ Roach laughs, short and sharp. ‘That was the review forum.’ ‘Memory’s fuzzy.’ ‘Fuzzy? You’re getting soft.’ ‘All those reviews read like discount novels, Roach.’ ‘Why the hell would I write reviews?’ ‘Same reason you do anything—to feel something.’ He smacks your chest, hard enough to make you look up. ‘Yujin broke you. Plain as day.’ Your throat tightens. The name alone feels like a switchblade. ‘It’s not like that… anymore.’ ‘Sure looks like it.’ ‘How’s that?’ ‘You’re on the leaderboard in this bar. They’re bleeding you dry, and you’re letting them.’ You don’t argue. Just take another sip. ‘Don’t deserve this money anyway.’ ‘Then give it elsewhere. There’s an orphanage across the street.’ ‘Don’t play saint with me.’ ‘It’s just a block away.’ ‘Fuck off.’ ‘Just a block—’ ‘Fine.’ You press your glass against the table, like the condensation might hold you steady. ‘I’ll think about it.’ Roach grins like he’s won something. ‘Ever watch her show?’ he asks, tilting his flask toward you. You hesitate. ‘Not really.’ ‘Bullshit. Saw you yesterday. That rain scene.’ Your grip tightens around the glass. The rain scene. You were there. Back when “we” still meant something. Holding her coat between takes, watching her shiver between scripted heartbreaks. ‘She always cried pretty,’ you murmur. ‘Even back then.’ Roach nods, takes a sip. ‘Tell me about it.’ You do. You don’t mean to, but you do. ‘Nothing to tell,’ you start. ‘I was nobody. She was becoming somebody. Simple math.’ ‘That’s not what I heard.’ ‘Yeah? What’d you hear?’ ‘That you proposed. Night before Seoul.’ The beer sours in your mouth. ‘Who told you that?’ ‘Does it matter? True though, isn’t it?’ You let out something that’s supposed to be a laugh. ‘Got the ring from my grandmother. Vintage Tiffany, art deco. Yujin loved vintage.’ ‘And?’ ‘And she cried. Not the pretty kind.’ You see it now, clear as the night it happened—her shaking hands, the way she pressed the box back into yours like it burned. ‘Said she couldn’t. Said she wasn't ready. I guess that was the foreshadowing: she broke up with me just a week later.’ ‘A choice between you and fame?’ ‘Between real life and the life she’d dreamed of since she was six. No contest, really.’ Roach doesn’t speak for a while. Just stares at the bar like it’s holding the right words. ‘Where’s the ring now?’ You smirk, but it tastes like blood. ‘Pawned it. Bought a week of blackout drunk and a ticket anywhere else.’ Roach exhales, long and low. His eyes flick to your watch, but nothing gold can compare to what you lost. ‘And here you are.’ ‘Here I am.’ Bass pulses through the walls, someone screams about love on the dance floor, and the bartender slides another drink toward you like it might fix anything. Roach downs the rest of his flask, claps a hand on your shoulder. ‘Well. Good luck with that. Got a missus waiting. Let me know when you find one.’ You don’t look at him. ‘We might never speak again.’ ‘Doubt that.’ A pat on the back, one final grin. Then he’s gone. You scoff. If ever. And you leave.
—
Seoul in summer is a thing that sticks. To your skin, to your thoughts, to the spaces between breath. Heat rises off the pavement, thick and wet, settling in your lungs like something permanent.
The city is wide awake, but softer at this hour. Convenience store fluorescents hover in the humidity, blurring edges. Subway vents exhale something metallic, ghostly. The crickets don’t know they live in a city. They just keep singing.
You walk. Not home, not anywhere. Just walking, because it’s better than stopping.
Stopping means remembering.
Every street corner holds a version of her. The Yujin who stole fries off your plate, who could sleep through a fireworks show, who once convinced you that every ice cream cone tasted better if it was half-melted. She’s there, tucked into flickering billboards, frozen mid-laugh on subway ads, threaded between the chords of songs you don’t mean to hear.
You take the long way. Five, six corners. Maybe more.
Then the bus stop appears.
Half-forgotten. Almost overgrown. A bench with its paint peeling like old skin, weeds curling around the edges like they might swallow it whole.
You sit. Elbows on knees. Hands folded. Thinking. Not thinking.
The streetlight buzzes. The air is thick with waiting.
Then—
A shadow falls across your feet.
A shift in pressure. Not wind, just something. The moment before a storm, before impact, before memory collides with the present and makes a mess of everything.
‘What are you doing here?’ Soft. Not a blade, not a wound. Just a question that lands like an old habit.
You don’t need to look. But you do. Because some habits don’t break.
Yujin stands there, framed by sodium light, hands tucked into the pockets of a hoodie that looks too soft to exist. No cameras. No entourage. Just her.
And god—just her is enough to knock the breath out of your chest.
‘Hiding?’ Soft. Like the question isn’t a question, just something to fill the space between heartbeats.
You don’t look up right away. You know the shape of her. You’ve spent years knowing it. The way she stands, weight slightly to one side. The way her voice lands, gentle, edged with something only you ever got to hear.
But you look anyway. Because it’s her. And some rules of the universe don’t change.
Yujin.
Not the Yujin on billboards, the Yujin on magazine covers, the Yujin who belongs to a nation that adores her.
Just Yujin.
Hair a little messy. Hoodie swallowing her frame. Hands tucked into the sleeves like she’s bracing against a cold that doesn’t exist.
And—god. Her eyes. Still warm. Still familiar. Still Dunsan-dong in their quiet, endless way.
She tilts her head. Smiles. The kind of smile that makes you feel seventeen again, like you just said something stupid and brilliant in the same breath.
‘Hiding?’ she repeats, softer this time.
‘Hiding implies I have something to hide from.’
‘And do you?’
A pause. Then—
‘Maybe.’
A hum. A small shift in weight. Then she sits. Just like that. No asking, no hesitation. Just sits, close enough that her knee brushes yours, like muscle memory, like the past hasn’t completely given up on you yet.
The air smells like street food, like summer. Somewhere, a neon sign hums its last flickers before shutting off for the night.
She bumps her shoulder against yours.
‘Missed you, you know.’
You turn your head. Blink. She’s watching you, like the sentence wasn’t a trap, wasn’t something heavy. Just… true.
You swallow.
‘Yeah?’
She nods, pulling her sleeves over her hands. ‘Yeah.’
The night stretches. Not awkward. Not tight with something unspoken. Just easy. Just… there.
‘How’s life?’ she asks.
‘Oh, you know. Full of bad choices.’
‘Any good ones?’
‘Still deciding.’
She breathes out a laugh, soft.
You glance at her, at the curve of her nose, the way she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear like she’s done since she was a kid.
‘You look…’ she starts, then tilts her head.
‘What?’
‘The same.’
You huff a laugh. ‘That’s a lie.’
‘No.’ She nudges your knee again. ‘You’re just… still you.’
And it’s so simple, the way she says it. So casual, like she hasn’t just pulled the breath from your lungs.
You don’t answer. Not yet.
She leans in slightly.
‘Still drink too much coffee?’
‘Still sleep through earthquakes?’
Her grin widens. ‘Still remember that?’
‘Some things don’t change.’
‘Some do.’
A small shift. A glance. A fraction closer.
And the city moves around you, oblivious.
But you?
You stay still.
You stay here.
Yujin sighs, long and soft, tilting her head back, watching the streetlight cast flickering halos through the humidity.
‘Seoul’s different at night,’ she murmurs. ‘Seoul’s different all the time.’
She hums, half in agreement, half just because she likes the sound. You forgot about that—the way she used to make tiny noises when she was thinking, little musical notes that filled in the gaps between words.
‘Feels slower now,’ she says. ‘That’s just you.’ She turns to you, eyes warm. ‘Yeah?’ You nod. ‘Everything moves too fast for you these days. You forgot what slow feels like.’ A small smile. ‘Remind me?’ Something tightens in your chest. She doesn’t mean it like that. Doesn’t mean it like anything more than what it is—a quiet moment, a quiet ask. But still. You shift, leaning back against the bench, stretching your arms across the top like you own the night. Like it doesn’t own you. ‘Alright,’ you say. ‘Lesson one: sitting still.’ She huffs a laugh but follows your lead, sinking deeper into the wood, legs stretching out. Her foot knocks against yours. ‘Like this?’ ‘Yeah.’ A beat. ‘And then what?’ ‘Nothing.’ She raises a brow. ‘That’s it?’ ‘That’s it.’ She exhales, slow and thoughtful. ‘You always made things feel easy,’ she says, voice quiet, like she’s afraid of disrupting the moment. You glance at her, and she’s not looking at you—just at the night, at the city, at something only she can see. ‘Not sure that’s true,’ you admit. ‘No, it is.’ She pulls her sleeves over her hands again, eyes flicking toward you. ‘You made me feel easy. Like… breathing.’ Something inside you curls at the edges. ‘Yujin—’ ‘It’s okay.’ She shakes her head, soft, smiling like she’s telling you not to carry it too heavily. ‘I’m just remembering.’ The city hums around you both. A distant motorbike rumbles past. Somewhere, an old radio plays a song you half recognize. You look at her again. Hair slightly mussed. Eyes bright, soft, familiar. Like she was never gone at all. She shifts, tucking one leg under the other, hands still hidden in her sleeves.
‘You ever think about calling?’ Her voice is light. Not demanding. Not accusing. Just... wondering. You let out a slow breath. ‘You ever think about picking up?’ A small laugh, exhale-soft. ‘Yeah.’ You glance at her, and she’s already looking at you, chin propped against her knee, smile barely-there but real. ‘But I figured you needed time,’ she says. You swallow. ‘Did I?’ Her fingers twitch against the fabric of her hoodie. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I just told myself that so I wouldn’t call.’ The honesty knocks something loose in your chest. You don’t say anything for a moment. The city moves around you both, neon humming against the wet pavement, the smell of night air thick with too many things. Then, quietly— ‘Three years is a long time, Yujin.’ ‘I know.’
She shifts, slow, careful, like she’s turning over a fragile thought in her hands. ‘But I never wanted it to be forever.’ Your throat tightens. You want to ask her then why did you leave like it was? But you don’t. Because you already know the answer. Because she was always meant for something bigger. Because she was scared, because you were scared, because maybe—just maybe—back then, love wasn’t enough to hold everything steady.
Instead, you say, ‘You look good, you know.’ Her lips curve, soft. ‘You do too.’ You scoff, tipping your head back against the bench. ‘Liar.’ ‘I never lied to you.’ That shuts you up. For a moment, you let it sink in. The weight of her voice, the way she says it like it’s a fact, like it’s something you should’ve never doubted. Then, softer— ‘You really never called?’ she asks. ‘I really never called.’ She doesn’t look away. ‘Why?’ You inhale. Let the air sit heavy in your lungs. ‘Because I thought you’d be better off without me.’ The words land, quiet and unpolished. Yujin blinks. Then— ‘You idiot.’ And then she’s moving, shifting closer, her fingers finding your sleeve, gripping just slightly, just enough for you to feel her there, to feel her warmth against the fabric. ‘Do you know how many times I almost showed up at your door?’ she says, voice soft but steady. ‘How many times I wanted to tell you that I was still here? That I—’ She stops. Exhales. Looks away, looks back. ‘That I missed you?’ You swallow. She’s close now. Not quite touching, but nearly. The air between you charged, something slow, something waiting. Your heart does something complicated in your chest. ‘You missed me?’ you murmur. Yujin smiles, small, fond. ‘Of course, you idiot.’ The city hums. The night exhales. And you— You don’t move away. Yujin stays close. Close enough for you to count her breaths, to feel the warmth of her body radiating through the space between you. You should say something. You should do something. Instead, you just sit there. And Yujin—Yujin lets you.
Her fingers stay curled into your sleeve, loose but certain. Like she’s testing gravity, checking to see if you’ll stay, if you’ll shift, if you’ll remind her that you’re real. She tilts her head, watching you the way she used to—like she’s memorizing you, like she’s trying to fit you back into the version of her life where you were always supposed to be. And maybe she is. Maybe she’s wondering how you look the same but feel different. Maybe she’s cataloging the way your shoulders have set a little heavier, the way your mouth curves in thought before you speak. Or maybe she’s just looking. Like she never stopped. ‘So,’ she says, voice light, careful. ‘What now?’ A question too big for this moment. A question you can’t answer, not yet. So you do what you always do. You deflect. You lean back, arms stretching across the top of the bench, looking at her out of the corner of your eye. ‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that?’ She lifts a brow. ‘You were always the planner.’ She snorts. ‘Hardly.’ ‘Oh? I seem to remember someone who had color-coded schedules for summer break.’ ‘That was one summer.’
‘Still counts.’ She exhales a laugh, tipping her head back against the bench, looking up at the sky. ‘Okay, fine. Maybe I was a little obsessed with plans.’ ‘A little?’
She shoots you a look, but it’s all warmth. All familiarity. ‘You liked it,’ she says. ‘It was efficient. It was cute.’
You hesitate. Just slightly. But she catches it. Of course she does. Her smile softens.
‘You can say it, you know.’ You tilt your head, pretending to be confused. ‘Say what?’ ‘That you missed me too.’
Something about the way she says it makes your stomach pull tight. Not teasing. Not fishing. Just true. You turn back to the street, watching the way the neon catches in the puddles, turning them into something like galaxies.
‘You already know.’ Yujin hums. ‘I want to hear it anyway.’ You exhale.
Three years of distance. Three years of silence. Three years of trying to unwrite the part of your life where she belonged.
‘Yeah,’ you say, voice quiet. ‘I missed you.’
Yujin doesn’t say anything right away. Then—
Her hand slides fully into your sleeve, warm against your wrist. A small thing. A quiet thing. But it’s enough.
‘Good,’ she murmurs.
You sit there like that for a while. Neither of you moving. Neither of you pulling away. And for the first time in years—
The silence between you doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a beginning.
Her hand stays there. Not gripping. Not holding. Just resting, warm against your wrist, like it belongs there. Like it never left.
You let out a slow breath. Three years. Three whole years. And somehow, this—her, the quiet press of her skin against yours, the way she’s just here—feels so natural it makes your ribs ache.
‘What are we doing, Yujin?’
Soft. Not accusing. Just—just needing to know if she feels it too, if this night is supposed to mean what you think it does.
She tilts her head, slow. Her hair slips over her shoulder, catching the streetlight in its strands. ‘Talking?’
A small, careful smile.
You huff. ‘Is that what this is?’
She hums, shifts a little closer, foot knocking against yours. ‘I don’t know. Feels nice, though.’
Nice. Nice, like it isn’t everything. Nice, like you aren’t suddenly breathing her in again, like your body hasn’t been on high alert since the moment she walked into your orbit tonight.
You roll your wrist slightly, just enough so that your fingers brush hers. She doesn’t pull away.
The city hums. The night exhales. And then—
‘Do you want to go for a walk?’ she asks.
It’s an easy question. A simple one. But something about it knots itself into your chest, makes your throat tight. Because that’s always how it was with her. Yujin never asked for big things. Just small ones, one after another, adding up to something impossible to resist.
Do you want to get ice cream? Do you want to climb onto the roof? Do you want to watch the rain with me? Do you want to stay?
And you had always said yes.
You glance at her now, at the way she’s watching you, hopeful but not pushing, patient in the way only she could ever be. A walk. A moment. A step toward something you don’t quite know how to name.
You exhale, slow. Then you stand.
‘Lead the way.’
Her smile—god. Her smile.
She slips her hand fully into yours, easy, thoughtless, like muscle memory. Like no time has passed at all.
And you— You let her.
The street hums around you, the last traces of night shifting toward something softer. The vendors have mostly packed up, but the scent of grilled meat and frying oil still lingers, floating warm through the thick summer air.
Yujin’s hand stays in yours. Not tight. Not hesitant. Just there. Like it was always meant to be.
You walk without direction. Just moving, side by side, the way you used to. Her footsteps match yours easily, a quiet sync neither of you planned.
‘Where are we going?’ you ask, voice low.
‘Nowhere,’ she says.
It makes you smile.
A few years ago, that answer would have annoyed her. Yujin, the girl with color-coded schedules, with plans so detailed they might as well have been carved into stone. But now she just says it like it’s enough. Like it’s the whole point.
She swings your hands slightly, absentminded. ‘You always walked like this,’ she murmurs.
‘Like what?’
She shrugs. ‘Like the city doesn’t own you.’
You breathe in, slow. The neon of old convenience stores, the occasional flickering of a streetlamp. ‘I guess I never let it.’
She hums. ‘I did.’
You glance at her. ‘Yujin—’
‘It’s okay,’ she cuts in, smiling. ‘I wanted to. I just—’ She exhales, presses her lips together for a moment, then shakes her head. ‘I forgot how good it feels to walk like this. Without thinking.’
You squeeze her hand just slightly.
She notices. Her thumb brushes the edge of your palm. Not an accident. Not a mistake.
The city stretches ahead of you, quiet. ‘You ever think about coming back?’ you ask.
She doesn’t answer right away. Her fingers tighten around yours, just a little.
‘I used to dream about it,’ she says, voice softer now. ‘I’d wake up thinking I was still in Dunsan-dong. That I’d step outside and find you waiting, like always.’
Your throat goes tight. She turns her head, studies your face in the flickering light.
‘But I was scared,’ she says, gentle. ‘What if you were different? What if I was?’
You don’t look away. ‘And now?’
A breath. A small, small smile. ‘I think I was scared of the wrong thing.’
Your heart stumbles.
She slows, pulling you toward the edge of the sidewalk, toward a tiny park that barely qualifies as a park—a patch of grass, a few trees. The kind of place nobody notices. She stops. Turns to face you.
You should say something. You should say everything.
But she beats you to it.
‘You were always the best part of my life,’ she says, voice steady, firm, like she’s decided something for herself.
Your pulse jumps. ‘Yujin—’
‘I just needed you to know that.’
She’s looking at you like she’s bracing for impact. Like she’s not sure what you’ll do with this thing she’s handing you.
So you take it. Carefully, quietly, the way she deserves.
You lift your hand—the one she’s not holding—and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Her breath catches.
‘Yeah?’ you murmur.
She nods.
And then, softer—
‘I think you were always mine.’
You don’t know who moves first. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Because the next thing you know, her hands are on your face, and your mouth is against hers, and the whole city dissolves around you.
She tastes like everything you remember. Like fine tea and something sweeter, something that was always just hers. She presses closer, hands slipping down to your collar, holding you there like you might disappear.
You won’t. Not this time.
When you pull back, she’s breathing fast, forehead resting against yours. You smile.
‘Still walk like the city doesn’t own me?’ you murmur.
She laughs, breathless, and pulls you back in.
Yujin kisses like a memory you never let go of. Like muscle memory, like breathing. Like the space between your ribs was always meant to make room for her.
She pulls back, just enough for her nose to brush yours. Her breath is warm, uneven. Her hands are still curled into the collar of your shirt, holding, gripping, keeping.
You open your eyes. She’s already looking at you.
Not like the girl on the billboards, not like the actress on screen. Just Yujin. Soft, real, right here.
Her lips are pink and kiss-bitten. She blinks slowly, dazed, like she’s trying to piece together what just happened. And then—
Then she laughs.
Not a big laugh. Not loud. Just this tiny, incredulous little sound. Like she can’t believe it. Like she can’t believe you.
‘What?’ you murmur.
She shakes her head, smiling, fingers still resting against your collar. ‘I don’t know.’
‘That’s a first.’
She huffs. ‘Shut up.’
‘Make me.’
A flicker of something in her eyes. Amusement. Mischief. Something else.
She tilts her head, considering. Then, in one slow movement, she leans in—
Not kissing you, not quite. Just close enough that her lips barely graze yours. Close enough that you can feel her smile.
‘Tempting,’ she murmurs.
Your heart stumbles.
But then she pulls away, slipping her fingers from your shirt, stepping back onto the sidewalk, like she’s giving you space to breathe.
You don’t need it. But you let her.
The city hums around you, the distant rumble of a car engine, the occasional flicker of neon against damp pavement.
You watch as Yujin tilts her head toward the sky, stretching her arms out, exhaling like she’s just remembered how.
‘I forgot what this feels like,’ she admits.
‘What?’
‘Not thinking.’ She lets her hands drop to her sides, flexing her fingers. ‘Not planning every second of my life in advance. Just… being.’
You shift, watching her.
‘I don’t think I’ve done that in years,’ she says.
A pause. Then, softly—
‘Stay with me.’
Your heart does something complicated in your chest.
She looks over, a little hesitant now, like she’s not sure how the words sound out loud.
‘I mean—’ she starts, but you shake your head.
‘Okay.’
Her lips part slightly.
Like she expected you to hesitate. Like she thought she’d have to convince you.
You step closer. Just enough that the space between you disappears again.
‘Okay?’ she echoes.
You nod.
Then, quieter—‘Anywhere.’
Yujin’s face softens.
And god, it’s so easy, the way she looks at you. Like you are something known. Like she is something understood.
She lets out a small, breathy laugh, reaching up to brush her thumb against the corner of your mouth.
‘You’re so stupid,’ she murmurs.
‘You love it.’
‘Yeah,’ she says, shaking her head. ‘Yeah, I do.’
She slips her hand back into yours, fingers threading together like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like she never left. Like you never let her.
And the city stretches ahead, wide open, waiting.
You should take a taxi. That would be the smart thing. A quiet, unremarkable way to disappear from the city before someone notices Korea’s brightest star walking hand-in-hand with someone who isn’t famous, isn’t scripted, isn’t anything but hers.
But Yujin shakes her head.
‘Not yet,’ she says.
So you walk.
She keeps close, hood pulled low, fingers curled into yours. The streets are thinning out, the city exhaling into its quieter hours. The air smells like fried oil and pavement, the ghosts of dinner service still hanging in the air.
She bumps into you once, then twice.
‘Are you always this bad at walking?’ you ask.
She grins, breathless. ‘I think I forgot how to do it with company.’
Company. Company.
You’re not sure if you’re relieved of that; that she was too busy to even meander through lazy lovers.
You squeeze her hand. She squeezes back.
Your place isn’t far, but when you reach it—when Yujin stops at the entrance, tilting her head back to take it all in—something shifts.
‘Huh.’
That’s all she says.
You fight a smirk. ‘Huh?’
She makes a small noise, arms crossed, like she’s trying not to look impressed.
‘You kept acting like you lived in a shoebox.’
You raise a brow. ‘Did I?’
‘Yeah.’ She gestures vaguely to the high-rise, the massive glass windows catching the city lights. ‘I was expecting something small. Modest. Maybe a bachelor pad with an ugly couch and a tragic little coffee table.’
You scoff. ‘What do you take me for?’
‘A very humble man, apparently.’
You shake your head, leading her inside.
The elevator is empty. Too bright. Too quiet.
She rocks on her heels. ‘So, do I get the grand tour?’
‘I don’t know,’ you say, pretending to think. ‘You might not be able to handle it. Very overwhelming.’
She elbows you in the side, laughing. ‘Shut up.’
The doors slide open.
She steps out first, into the hallway, waiting while you fish your keys from your pocket.
She glances over. ‘I still can’t believe you live here.’
‘Why?’
She shrugs. ‘It’s just weird.’
‘Weird how?’
She scrunches her nose, like she doesn’t quite know how to explain it. ‘I don’t know. You just never cared about stuff like this.’
You unlock the door.
She steps inside.
And immediately—
‘Oh my god.’
You roll your eyes, shutting the door behind you. ‘What now?’
She turns in a slow circle, taking everything in. The high ceilings, the floor-to-ceiling windows, the soft lighting that spills across the polished wood.
‘Are you kidding?’ she says, spinning toward you, mouth open in faux outrage. ‘This is beautiful.’
You snort. ‘What, you thought I was sleeping in a broom closet?’
‘Yes.’
‘Wow. Faith in me is strong, I see.’
She grins, moving toward the living room. ‘No, it’s just—’ She shakes her head, fingers brushing over the back of the sleek, perfectly chosen couch. ‘You were always so… comfortable with less. I figured, even if you had money, you’d still live like some struggling artist in a shoebox.’
You scoff, kicking off your shoes. ‘What does that even mean?’
‘Like, I don’t know, sleeping on a mattress on the floor. A single sad chair. Stacks of books everywhere.’
You raise a brow. ‘So your image of me is basically a broke philosophy major?’
She shrugs. ‘It suited you.’
You exhale a laugh.
‘But this,’ she gestures around again, ‘this is… grown-up.’
‘Was I not grown-up before?’
She grins. ‘No.’
‘Wow.’
‘But,’ she continues, stepping toward the floor-to-ceiling windows, where the city spills out in front of her like a living, breathing thing, ‘I like it. It feels like you.’
You pause.
Not expensive. Not fancy. Not over-the-top.
It feels like you.
You scratch the back of your neck, looking away.
‘Yeah?’
She nods. ‘Yeah.’
She turns back to the glass, resting her fingers lightly against the frame. ‘You can see the river from here.’
You step up beside her.
It’s a view you see every day, but somehow, with Yujin here, it looks different.
She breathes in. ‘It’s nice.’
You breathe her in.
‘Yeah,’ you murmur. ‘It is.’
She turns.
And then she kisses you.
Not careful. Not planned.
Just Yujin.
She tilts her head, presses up slightly on her toes, and meets your mouth with something warm, something easy.
It’s not perfect.
She misses, just slightly. Laughs into the kiss. Her hands fumble for your collar but find your wrist instead.
But god—
It’s real.
You breathe her in. Hold her waist. Feel her fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt like she’s trying to pull you closer, closer.
She hums against your lips, smiling.
You grin. ‘You missed.’
She exhales a laugh. ‘Shut up.’
‘Make me.’
She does.
The kisses are clumsy, messy, soft. The kind that happens when two people are trying to remember, trying to relearn each other in real-time.
She tugs at your shirt.
You trip over the edge of the couch.
She gasps.
You land in a heap, tangled together, breathless.
Silence.
Then—
She laughs.
Bright, full, head tipped back against your chest.
You groan, letting your head fall back against the cushions. ‘Unbelievable.’
She grins, shifting so she’s straddling your lap. ‘I don’t know, I think it’s fitting.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yeah.’ She leans in, pressing her forehead against yours. ‘Clumsy love suits us.’
Your breath catches.
Then, softer—
‘Yeah,’ you murmur. ‘It does.’
She cups your face, fingers warm against your jaw.
The city hums outside, unaware.
And you—
You stay here.
With her.
You don’t know who says it first.
Maybe her. Maybe you. Maybe neither of you—maybe it’s just implied, wrapped up in the way she’s still sitting in your lap, fingers absently tracing patterns over your collarbone, skin warm against yours.
But at some point, between the teasing and the breathless little ohs that slip between kisses, it just becomes a fact.
You’re both too warm.
Too sticky from the night air, from walking too long through humid Seoul streets, from the thick summer heat pressing against the glass of your windows.
‘Shower,’ she murmurs.
You’re not sure if it’s a request or a declaration, but either way—
‘Yeah,’ you say.
And then you’re moving.
Yujin laughs when you lift her off the couch, stumbling slightly as you navigate through the apartment. She doesn’t let go, arms slung loosely around your neck, breath warm against your ear.
‘Are you always this dramatic?’ she asks.
‘You love it.’
She hums, not denying it.
The bathroom is bright, too bright, the kind of brightness that makes everything feel a little more real than you’re prepared for. But Yujin doesn’t hesitate—just pulls her hoodie over her head, shakes her hair out, steps closer like she’s done this a thousand times.
Like she’s never left.
You watch as she turns toward the mirror, tilting her head slightly.
‘Haven’t been in a place like this in a while,’ she muses.
‘A bathroom?’
She snorts, shoving you lightly. ‘No, this kind of bathroom.’ She waves a hand vaguely, indicating the open shower, the marble walls, the soft lighting. ‘It’s fancy.’
You roll your eyes, reaching for the faucet. ‘You act like you don’t stay in five-star hotels every week.’
‘That’s different.’
‘How?’
She steps behind you, pressing her chin against your shoulder. ‘This feels like you.’
You don’t know what to say to that.
So you don’t say anything at all.
The water warms between your fingers, steam rising slowly.
Yujin hums, stepping forward, slipping her fingers under the hem of your shirt. ‘Come on.’
You don’t move.
She looks up, amused. ‘What, suddenly shy?’
You scoff, shaking your head, but your pulse jumps when her fingers skate lightly against your stomach.
She grins. ‘Cute.’
‘What is?’
‘Three years apart, and you’re still so you.’
You exhale a laugh, finally pulling your shirt over your head. She does the same, tossing her clothes into a messy pile, and then—
Then it’s just you and her, standing too close, bare skin meeting for the first time in what feels like forever.
Her breath catches.
You hear it. Feel it.
And god—
She’s so beautiful.
All golden skin and soft curves and the kind of warmth that could make the whole city feel like home.
She watches you, expectant, waiting.
You don’t make her wait long.
You reach for her—
And she lets you.
Lets you pull her in, lets you kiss her slow, deep, careful, like you’re memorizing her all over again.
She sighs into your mouth, hands trailing up your arms, curling into your hair.
‘Come on,’ she whispers.
And this time—
You listen.
The water is hot, almost too hot, but neither of you care.
Yujin steps under first, exhaling as the warmth rolls over her skin, tilting her head back so that her hair darkens, slick against her shoulders.
You’re distracted.
Too distracted.
Because—
Because she’s standing there, all bare skin and soft curves and Yujin, looking at you like she already knows exactly what you’re thinking.
‘Are you going to keep staring?’ she teases.
You swallow. ‘Maybe.’
She laughs, stepping forward, reaching for the shampoo.
You should move. Should help. Should do something.
But instead, you just—
Just watch.
The way she hums under her breath, the way she lathers the shampoo into her hair, fingers massaging small circles against her scalp.
You’re so lost in it, in her, that you don’t even realize she’s finished—
Until she suddenly turns, tilts her head, and smiles.
‘Come here.’
You don’t hesitate.
She tugs you forward, fingers threading through your hair, working shampoo into your scalp like it’s something sacred, something worth taking her time with.
And god—
God, you forgot how good this feels.
Forgot what it was like to just be, to just exist under someone’s hands, to let yourself be cared for in a way that doesn’t feel heavy, doesn’t feel like a transaction.
Her fingers move slowly, carefully, her nails scraping lightly against your skin.
You close your eyes.
Breathe.
Let yourself lean into it.
Let yourself lean into her.
And she—
She lets you.
She’s still rinsing when you reach for her.
‘What—’
You shush her, hands skimming up her sides, guiding her under the water’s warmth.
She lets you.
Lets you tilt her chin slightly, lets you press a kiss just below her ear, lets you work your fingers into her hair like she’s something holy.
Her breath catches.
You hear it, feel it, let it sink into your bones.
‘Close your eyes,’ you murmur.
She hesitates—just a fraction of a second—then obeys.
The water slides down her face, over her lips, down the elegant curve of her throat.
You watch, transfixed.
Then you move.
You reach for the shampoo, work it between your hands, and Yujin’s confused—’Again?’—but when your fingers find her scalp—
She melts.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen her this undone.
Head tilted slightly, mouth parted, body soft beneath your touch.
She hums, a small, quiet sound, like she’s just remembered something she’d long forgotten.
You barely breathe.
Just keep going, keep moving, keep tracing slow, deliberate circles, letting your fingers tangle through her hair like it’s something sacred.
Because it is.
Because she is.
Yujin, the girl who never stopped moving, who never let herself stop thinking, who planned every step of her life down to the last decimal—
She’s still now.
Still, and warm, and yours.
You rinse the shampoo carefully, letting the water do the work. Your fingers trail down, down, past her neck, past her shoulders, past the delicate slip of her collarbone.
She sighs.
Leans into you.
Lets herself fall.
And god—
You’ll catch her.
Every time.
You reach for the soap next, work it slowly over her back, over her arms, over every inch of her that you can touch.
She exhales, barely above a whisper.
‘Feels nice.’
You smile.
‘Good.’
You don’t rush.
Not when she’s like this. Not when she’s letting you do this, letting you love her with something as simple as this.
Your hands trail lower, down her spine, over the dip of her waist. She shifts slightly, breath hitching just a little.
You pause.
Press a kiss to her shoulder.
She shivers, but not from the cold.
‘This okay?’ you murmur.
Her fingers curl around your wrist, stopping you.
For a moment, you think she’s going to pull away—
But instead—
She guides your hand lower.
Presses it against the soft warmth of her stomach.
Holds it there.
She exhales, slow and deep. ‘Don’t stop.’ You don’t. God, you don’t. You let your hands move slowly, carefully, exploring her the way you’ve always wanted to—like she’s something to learn, something to understand. And Yujin— Yujin lets you.
She lets you wash away the last three years, lets you trace something new into her skin, lets you relearn every inch of her with soap and steam and careful, careful hands.
She turns in your arms, pressing her forehead against yours. The water slips between you, catching at the spaces where you don’t quite meet. She’s smiling. Soft. Sweet. Yours. You cup her face. She leans into it, eyes fluttering closed. For a long, long moment, neither of you move. You just stay. Right here. Right now. Like this. Like always. Then— She opens her eyes. And she kisses you.
The water trails down her spine in slow, careful rivers, catching in the dips of her back, rolling down the curve of her waist. You follow its path with your fingers, mapping her skin like something sacred, something known.
She doesn’t move. Just lets you touch. Lets you care.
You start with her back, palms gliding down the slope of her shoulders, the delicate stretch of muscle beneath warm, damp skin. Your thumbs press gently into the knots there, kneading, coaxing, working out tension she probably doesn’t even realize she’s holding.
She exhales, long and slow, tipping her head forward. ‘Mmm,’ she murmurs, voice thick with something close to sleep. ‘That feels good.’ You smile. Press your thumbs in a little deeper. Let your hands drift lower, following the curve of her spine, tracing each ridge, each shadow, each memory pressed into muscle. You smooth circles over her lower back, fingers pressing into the dimples there, trailing down— She shivers. Your hands pause. ‘Ticklish?’ you murmur.
She huffs a quiet laugh, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. ‘A little.’ You grin, but you don’t tease. Not now. Not when she’s letting you do this, letting you love her in the simplest, softest way. You reach for the soap, work it between your hands until it foams, and then— Then you really start. You start with her arms, sliding your palms over smooth, damp skin, tracing the delicate lines of muscle beneath. You lift her wrist, turning it over, running your fingers along the pulse point there. Her breath catches. You watch, mesmerized, as water beads along the inside of her forearm, trailing down to the soft bend of her elbow. ‘You’re so careful,’ she murmurs. You hum. ‘You deserve careful.’ Something flickers across her face. Something soft. She lets her fingers curl around yours. You smile. Run your hands over her stomach next, tracing the subtle rise and fall of each breath, the warmth of her, the realness of her. She shifts slightly, the movement pressing her closer, pressing skin to skin, pressing warmth to warmth. You exhale. Let your hands drift lower, over the curve of her waist, the dip of her hip, the length of her thigh. You take your time. Because she lets you. Because she wants you to. You kneel then, water rolling down your shoulders, down your back, pooling against your skin. You press your lips to her hip. She exhales, shaky, fingers threading into your hair. ‘You don’t have to—’ ‘I want to.’ You slide your hands over her legs, smoothing your palms down her thighs, over her calves, down to her ankles. She watches, breathing slow. You work the soap into her skin, rubbing warmth into her, sliding your thumbs up the backs of her knees, over the gentle curve of her calves. She sighs. Soft. Deep. Content. You let your fingers skim up again, over the dip of her waist, the gentle swell of her stomach, up— Up— To her chest. Her breath stutters. You pause. Look up. She’s already looking at you. Eyes dark, lips parted, cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. She lifts her hand, pressing it against yours. Guiding you. ‘Go on,’ she whispers. And you do. God, you do.
You cup her, trace the delicate slope of her, run your thumbs over warm, wet skin, over the soft peaks of her breasts, watching the way she reacts, the way she shivers under your touch.
Her lips part.
Her fingers tighten in your hair.
‘You’re—’ she starts, voice barely a breath, barely a sound. ‘You’re so—’
You stand.
Tilt her chin up.
Kiss her.
Not hungry. Not desperate.
Just deep.
Just certain.
Just her.
And when you pull back, pressing your forehead against hers, she exhales a laugh.
‘This is dangerous,’ she murmurs.
You smile. ‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
She lifts her arms, looping them around your neck, pulling you in, pressing against you, warm and wet and perfect.
And you—
You let her.
The steam rises. The water beads against her skin, gliding down slow, tracing paths over the soft slopes of her body, catching at the delicate points where warmth meets shadow, where light bends just so, where she is golden and bronze and endless.
You follow it.
With your eyes first, then with your hands.
Fingertips grazing along the soft valley of her stomach, skimming over her ribs, pressing gently into the places where she is most tender, most real. You watch the way the droplets gather at her collarbone, suspended for just a moment before slipping down, down, disappearing into the delicate dip between her breasts.
It feels unfair, almost, that something as simple as water gets to touch her like this before you do.
So you take its place.
Your lips find her collarbone first, brushing against the damp skin, warm and reverent. She exhales, tilting her head slightly, letting you have her like this, letting you take your time.
You do.
You always do.
Your mouth trails lower, following the path of the water, tracing its descent. You press a kiss against the gentle swell of her chest, right where her heart beats beneath, steady, certain, alive. You linger there, letting the moment stretch, letting yourself feel it, letting yourself remember what it’s like to love someone in a way that has nothing to do with time or distance or the years lost in between.
She breathes in, slow and deep, her fingers threading through your hair, nails scraping lightly against your scalp. Not pulling. Just holding.
And then you go lower.
The water clings to her, catching at the nipples, glistening like liquid gold against the dark-bronze warmth of her nipples. It drips, slow and deliberate, down the soft curve of her, over the places where she is most tender, most beautiful.
You chase it.
Your lips press to her sternum, then lower, following the water as it rolls over the swell of her breast, catching it before it can disappear.
She makes a sound then, a soft, breathy thing, like something breaking open inside her, like something unfolding, something giving way.
And god—
You love her like this.
Love the way she lets you worship her, the way she lets you press your mouth to her skin like it’s something sacred, like it’s something worth kneeling for.
You take your time.
You kiss along the curve of her, letting your tongue flick against her skin, letting yourself taste the warmth of her, the salt, the sweetness, the Yujin of her.
She trembles. Not much. Just a little. Just enough. You kiss the the peak of her breast—nipple, lips closing around the dark, glistening bronze of her, taking her between your lips like something meant to be savored. And she— She gasps. Soft. Sharp. Her fingers tighten in your hair, her back arching just slightly, just enough to press herself further into your mouth, to offer herself up like this, to let you take her in a way that feels like praise. The water slips between you, forgotten, but you don’t need it anymore. She is all the warmth you will ever need. And you— You are drowning. But you don’t mind. Not one bit.
You don’t know how long you stay like this—your mouth on her, your hands tracing slow worship into her skin, your tongue moving against the dark-bronze pebble of her like you’re tasting something sacred, something forbidden, something you never stopped craving.
She doesn’t rush you.
Just feels.
Just lets herself be felt.
Her fingers tremble against your scalp, gripping just enough to keep you grounded, to keep herself from falling apart entirely. The water sings against the tiles, drowning the rest of the world out, leaving just the sound of her soft gasps, her breath catching, the delicate whimper when your teeth graze over where she is most sensitive.
‘You’re—’ she tries, but the sentence breaks, dissolving into something else entirely.
You hum against her, half-smirking, half-dazed.
‘Say that again?’
She exhales sharply. Then, in a voice softer than the steam curling between you—
‘You’re ruining me.’
You smile against her skin.
‘Good.’
But then she’s moving.
Slow, steady, deliberate—sliding her hands down to your jaw, guiding you up, forcing your mouth away from her skin so she can see you again.
You lift your head, meeting her gaze, and god—
She looks like something devotional.
Like she’s burning and melting and breaking and remaking herself in the same moment.
And then she cups your face.
Runs her fingers down the sharp edge of your jaw, down your throat, down the planes of your chest like she’s trying to learn you all over again.
‘My turn,’ she whispers.
You exhale. ‘Yujin—’
But she’s already pressing her lips to your palm.
A slow, wet kiss against the skin there, warm and reverent.
You tense, watching the way she does it—how her mouth lingers, how her breath spills against your hand like she’s praying into it.
Then another.
And another.
Each kiss deliberate. Each one softer than the last.
Your fingers twitch.
Your heart stutters.
And Yujin—
Yujin just smiles.
Like she knows what she’s doing to you.
Like she knows the effect of her lips, her mouth, the heat of her pressing into you like this.
Then she goes lower.
Tracing fire against your wrist. Down to your forearm.
She’s taking her time.
Like she knows what’s coming. Like she wants you to feel every second of it before she even starts.
Softly, she lowers herself to the shower floor, folding her legs beneath her like someone praying—like someone preparing for something sacred. Water cascades over her, tracing the delicate angles of her face, slipping down her shoulders, clinging to her lashes. She doesn’t blink it away.
She looks up at you instead.
‘Just so you know,’ she murmurs, fingers curling around your thigh, pressing just hard enough to make you feel it, ‘I haven’t had this for three years.’
Your breath catches.
‘You poor thing.’
She hums, tilting her head slightly, eyes flickering with something playful, something edged with heat. ‘If only you called.’
Her grip tightens on your shaft—subtle, knowing, cruel.
Your pulse slams into your ribs.
‘Regretting everything as we speak,’ you manage, voice rough, because god—three years of waking up alone, three years of knowing what her body felt like against yours and still having to live without it, three years of not having this—
Yujin presses her lips to your hip, slow, warm, reverent.
‘Don’t,’ she whispers, breath ghosting over your skin. ‘From now on, let’s not waste a single breath.’
And that was that.
No more lost time. No more distance.
She presses another kiss, right below your navel. Cheating.
Your entire body tenses, twitches, a sharp current running through you.
She notices.
She smiles.
‘This is punishment,’ she murmurs.
Your fingers twitch against the tile. ‘For what?’
She looks up at you, lashes wet and mussed and dripping, lips parted just slightly—ruinous.
‘For almost forgetting me.’
Your jaw tightens. ‘That’s blasphemy.’
‘Is it?’
‘Every waking moment, every—’
Her hand slides along your wet shaft. Tight. Destitution incarnate.
You stumble against the back wall.
She grins, a little smug, a little knowing, a little dangerous.
‘I don’t want excuses,’ she says softly.
And then—
Then she presses another kiss, open-mouthed, slow, dangerous, right where on the tip of your cock—collecting whatever desperation you had bottled up.
You let out a slow, shaky breath.
She hums against you. Then, another kiss.
‘This,’ she says, hands curling against your hips, ‘is mine.’
And god, you believe her.
You always have.
Her mouth forms a tight ring right on your tip. She’s sucking everything out of you. Caring not for a single second how much this ruins you, how your knees intend to buckle.
The cool wall slides against your back, and her mouth gentles now—less tight, slower, deliberate. Her lips part, wet and swollen, spit-strung as they glide over the flushed head of you. A slick sound escapes her, obscene and tender. You feel every ridge of her tongue, every warm drag, the way her saliva pools and drips down the length of you. She moans softly, and the vibration travels straight to your gut.
‘Easy,’ you rasp, fingers threading into her hair—not to push, but to feel. To guide her rhythm, your thumb brushing the shell of her ear. ‘Just like that…’
She obeys, but not meekly. Her eyes flick up, dark and gleaming through her lashes, her lips a glistening ring around you. The head glistens under the shower’s spray, spit-slick and ruddy, and when she pulls back just to breathe, a thin strand of saliva stretches between her bottom lip and your tip. She watches you watch it snap.
‘Yujin—’
‘Shhh.’ Her breath ghosts over the wetness she’s made, cooling the heat. ‘Let me.’
Her tongue swipes the slit, slow, too slow, and your hips jerk. She laughs—a soft, husky thing—and catches the bead of precum with her thumb. Holds your gaze as she sucks it clean.
‘All those years,’ she murmurs, nuzzling the inside of your thigh. Her voice is a frayed ribbon. ‘You let this ache. Let it go untouched. Why?’
You tighten your grip in her hair, not harsh, but present. ‘You know why.’
She hums, lips pressing to the vein throbbing beneath the skin. ‘Tell me anyway.’
‘Because it was yours.’ The admission tears free, raw. ‘Even when you weren’t.’
Her breath hitches. For a heartbeat, her composure cracks—lips parting, eyes glassy. Then she surges forward, taking you deep, deep, until your tip brushes the back of her throat. Her nose presses into your pelvis, her cheeks hollowed, and the wetness is overwhelming. Spit spills down her chin, drips onto the shower floor. You watch, wrecked, as she works you with a reverence that borders on worship.
‘God—Yujin—’
She pulls off with a gasp, lips swollen and slick. ‘Look at me.’
You do. Her face is flushed, water clinging to her lashes, hair plastered to her neck. Ruin has never looked so soft.
‘Never again,’ she whispers, palm cradling your jaw. ‘You don’t starve yourself. Not of this. Not of me.’
You nod, breathless, and she smiles—a fragile, aching thing—before bending again. Her mouth is softer now, languid, savoring. Every suck, every lick, pours honey into your veins. You let her take you apart, let her rebuild you, until the world narrows to her lips, her hands, the spit-slick sounds of her devotion.
The climax coils, inevitable—a wildfire in your spine, a tremor in your thighs. You feel it there, the precipice, and your hands fly to her shoulders, gripping hard. ‘Yujin—wait—’
She resists at first, brows furrowed, lips sealed tight around you. But you tug her back gently, your cock slipping from her mouth with a wet pop, her lips swollen, glistening. Her confusion flickers only for a heartbeat before you fist your cock, rough and hurried, and the first hot stripe of release paints her cheek.
She gasps, eyes fluttering shut as the next pulse hits her chin, her throat, the tip catching her collarbone. Thick, pearly streaks splatter across her skin—her eyelids, the bridge of her nose, the bow of her top lip. A ragged moan tears from you as you empty yourself onto her, the mess pooling in the hollow of her throat, dripping down her sternum.
For a moment, she’s perfectly still, breath held, face tilted up as if in prayer. Then her tongue darts out, just once, catching the spill on her lip—not to taste, but to feel, to savor the proof. Her eyes open slowly, lashes sticky, gaze molten.
For a second, she just blinks.
One eye.
The other one is… well.
You watch her process it in real time.
Her lips part slightly, her breath still uneven, chest rising and falling as she takes in exactly what’s happened. Your release is everywhere—everywhere—glossing her cheekbones, slipping down the slope of her throat, pooling in the dip of her collarbone like some kind of offering.
She tilts her head. Blinks again.
‘Oh.’
Then she laughs.
A breathy, disbelieving sound, half-amused, half-are-you-kidding-me?
You’re still pressed against the shower wall, still trying to function, your brain short-circuiting between the mess you’ve made of her and the fact that she’s actually—laughing.
‘You—’ she starts, touching her cheek, then stopping, fingers hesitating before they smear through the mess, ‘—you got it in my hair.’
She looks up at you then, eyes bright, glistening—partly from you, partly from water, partly from the sheer absurdity of this situation.
You swallow, still breathless. ‘Uh.’
She blinks. A slow, lazy flutter of lashes.
Then her mouth quirks.
‘You should’ve warned me, you beast.’
You can’t help it—you laugh, too, scrubbing a hand down your face. ‘I tried. You didn’t stop—’
‘I was busy,’ she huffs, wiping at her cheek again. ‘And now I’m busy. Because look at me.’
You are.
You really, really are.
‘I mean—’ you gesture vaguely to her face, her throat, the trail of evidence marking everywhere she’s been—‘I think it’s a good look.’
She glares.
‘No, seriously. We could brand this. “Dewy Glow” or something. Sell it in high-end skincare stores. “Celebrity Secret.”’
She snorts, shoving at your thigh. ‘You absolute menace.’
And then—
‘Oh, wait.’
She freezes.
Her smile vanishes.
Her expression shifts into something far more serious.
‘Oh no.’
You blink. ‘What?’
She doesn’t say anything.
Just slowly, slowly, slowly raises a hand to her right eye.
You know what’s coming before she even speaks.
‘Oh my god, I can’t see.’
You wheeze. Actually wheeze.
She jabs a finger into your thigh. ‘Don’t—don’t laugh. This is serious. This is—I might never recover—’
‘Yujin.’ You’re still dying, but you reach for her anyway, cupping her face with both hands, thumbs swiping over her cheeks, carefully wiping away what you can. ‘Baby, blink—’
‘I am blinking.’ She’s being so dramatic about it, blinking furiously, tilting her face up to the water like it might cleanse her soul. ‘Oh my god. Oh my god.’
‘Okay, okay, come here—’
You guide her fully under the stream, hands in her hair, rubbing circles at her temples as she half-laughs, half-groans against your chest.
‘Three years, and this is how it goes?’
‘I mean,’ you murmur, fingers tracing down her jaw, ‘technically, this is a good thing. This means I really missed you.’
She gasps, smacking your chest. ‘That is not how this works.’
‘No, no, it is. You should be flattered.’
‘I am blinded.’
‘Listen, some people pay a lot of money for facials like this.’
‘Oh my god, shut up—’
She’s laughing now, still rubbing at her eye, still squinting slightly, but you tilt her face up, press your lips to her forehead, her nose, the water-warm curve of her cheek.
‘Here,’ you murmur, ‘let me see.’
She lets you, tilting her chin up, letting you wipe at her lashes, the bridge of her nose, the soft hollow under her eye. Your fingers are gentle, your touch slow, careful, as you rinse the last of it away.
Her hands find your ribs, gripping lightly, grounding herself.
‘I’m keeping score, you know,’ she murmurs, voice softer now.
You kiss her temple. ‘Yeah?’
She hums. ‘You owe me for this.’
You grin, pressing a kiss to her cheek. ‘I owe you?’
‘Mhm.’ Another soft blink, this one slower, more considering. ‘Big time.’
You exhale, pressing your forehead to hers. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’
She pulls back just enough to look at you, eyes warm, searching.
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
A beat.
Then she grins, pressing a quick, mischievous kiss to your lips.
‘Good.’
And then—
‘Now help me get this out of my hair, you absolute monster.’
You laugh, tilting her back under the water, already reaching for the shampoo.
You barely make it out of the shower before Yujin is already reaching for a towel, scrubbing at her hair like she’s trying to erase all evidence of your existence.
You watch her, arms crossed, towel slung lazily over your shoulder. ‘You know, I could help with that.’
She gives you a look. A very specific you-are-the-reason-I’m-in-this-mess look.
‘You’ve helped enough,’ she mutters, aggressively drying her face.
You grin. ‘Want me to dry your back?’
‘No.’
‘Sure?’
‘I don’t trust you.’
You press a hand to your chest, mock-wounded. ‘I am offended by this blatant accusation.’
‘You are plotting something. I know that face.’
‘I literally only have one face, Yujin.’
‘Yeah. And I know it.’
She sighs, shoving her towel at you. ‘Fine. You want to be useful? Dry my hair. But no funny business.’
‘Define funny business.’
She glares.
You chuckle, grabbing another towel, stepping behind her. She exhales as you gently towel-dry her hair, rubbing slow, deliberate circles into her scalp.
Her head tilts slightly, unconsciously leaning into your touch.
You knew she’d enjoy this.
She hums, closing her eyes. ‘Okay. Maybe you can be trusted.’
‘Told you.’ You press a kiss to the crown of her head. ‘I am a professional.’
‘A professional nuisance.’
‘A professional lover.’
She snorts. ‘Oh my god, shut up.’
You grin, setting the towel aside, reaching for the hairdryer.
She shifts slightly in her seat. ‘Wait—’
‘Hm?’
She peeks up at you, tilting her head back, cheeks warm. ‘...I like it when you do it slow. With your hands.’
You pause.
Look down at her.
Oh.
Oh.
You set the hairdryer aside. ‘You should’ve said so earlier, baby.’
She exhales, smiling, closing her eyes again as your fingers slip into her hair, raking through the damp strands, slow and careful.
This is— This is intimacy in its simplest form. You, standing behind her, fingers combing through her hair, working through knots with gentle patience. Her, sitting still, trusting you, letting herself be taken care of. ‘You’re soft,’ you murmur, pressing another kiss to her temple. ‘Mm.’ Her shoulders relax completely. ‘Just don’t mess up my parting.’ You chuckle. ‘I’ll do my best.’ It takes a while—because you like taking your time with her—but eventually, her hair is dry, loose waves tumbling down her back. She stretches, arms overhead, and that’s when you realize— She’s still wearing your shirt. The one she stole post-shower, hanging off her like it was made for this moment.
You stare. Your thoughts are not wholesome. She catches you looking. Her lips curve. ‘You’re plotting something again,’ she says, amused. ‘Maybe.’ ‘You need to control yourself—’ ‘Nope.’ She laughs, batting you away when you attempt to grab her. ‘No. No, sir,’ she warns, scooting to the bed. ‘You said you’d be good.’ ‘Did I?’ ‘Yes. You did. You explicitly said you’d behave.’ ‘And you believed me?’ She pauses. Then groans, rubbing her face. ‘God, I’m an idiot.’ You grin. And then you pounce.
She yelps, barely managing to roll away before you trap her under you, laughing as she dodges your grabby hands.
‘No,’ she gasps between laughs, ‘we are doing the normal nighttime routine first!’ ‘This is the routine.’ ‘No it is not!’ You chase her across the bed. She giggles, swats at you, then suddenly—miraculously—manages to flip you over, straddling you with a triumphant grin. ‘HAH.’ She plants her hands on your chest. ‘Got you.’ You blink up at her. Pause. Then smirk. ‘Yujin,’ you murmur, voice low. ‘Baby.’ Her smile falters. ‘…What.’
You cup her waist, slowly sliding your hands up, over the fabric of your shirt, over the nothing she’s wearing underneath.
She realizes. Her eyes widen. ‘Wait—’ And then you flip her back over. She gasps. ‘Noooooo—’ You laugh, pinning her down, watching as she squirms, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with warmth and amusement. This. This is the routine. Laughter. Teasing. The way you move around each other like gravity has always existed between you. She exhales, chest rising and falling beneath you, fingers curling around your wrists. Her voice, when she speaks, is softer. ‘You win,’ she murmurs. You press your forehead to hers. ‘I always do.’ She sighs dramatically. ‘Ugh. Fine. Manhandle me, then.’ She’s still beneath you, chest rising and falling, fingers curled loosely around your wrists where you’ve pinned them. Her breath is quick, her pulse erratic, and you know it’s not just because of the weight of you pressing her into the mattress—it’s everything. The warmth between you, the years leading to this, the understanding that what’s about to happen isn’t just want, isn’t just release—it’s reclamation.
She swallows, lips parting slightly, pupils wide and dark in the low light. The dark strands of her hair are fanned across the pillow, tangled from your hands, a mess you’d memorize blindfolded. There’s a flush blooming across her chest, creeping up the column of her throat, a heat that you feel mirrored in yourself.
You watch her, watch the way she shifts slightly beneath you, pressing up just enough to remind you she’s waiting, waiting, waiting. You could draw this out forever. But that’s cruelty. Or maybe, maybe, that’s worship.
You press your lips to the tip of her nose, then her cheek, then down, trailing a path over her jaw, her throat, the faint dip between her collarbones. You can feel the hum of her laughter before she even releases it, a small breath of amusement, her fingers twitching against your hold'
‘You’re teasing,’ she murmurs, voice wrecked already. ‘No,’ you answer, dragging your mouth lower, tasting the salt of her skin. ‘I’m remembering.’
Because you are. You’re remembering the way her body curls into yours when she’s overwhelmed. You’re remembering the tiny, trembling exhales she makes when your hands slide over the slopes of her ribs. You’re remembering that she loves when you take your time, that she loves to be adored, that she wants to feel every inch of you.
And she is so easy to adore.
You shift lower, your hands tracing slow, lazy patterns down her sides, feeling the way her muscles twitch beneath your touch. The shape of her—long lines, soft curves, skin warm and impossibly smooth beneath your lips.
Your name escapes her in a breath, a barely-there sound that settles somewhere behind your ribs, inside your chest, like it belongs there.
You kiss lower. Down, down. Your fingers slip between her thighs, ghosting over her bare glistening pussy, and her breath stutters, a sharp intake that punches straight through your gut. ‘Look at you,’ you murmur, dragging your knuckles up the inside of her goosebump-ridden thigh. ‘Fidgeting.’ She doesn’t answer. Just glares, lashes damp, lips parted, so achingly beautiful you feel winded.
‘Is that frustration?’ you tease, dragging your mouth back up, scraping your teeth over her hip bone. ‘It’s—’ She exhales, trying for control. Fails. ‘It’s you taking too long.’ You hum. ‘I thought you liked it slow.’ ‘I do,’ she grits out. ‘But I also like it when you—’
Her voice catches as your fingers press a little harder into her. A single stroke, just enough to make her body jolt, enough to make her curse under her breath, enough to feel the sticky wetness of her—inside.
Then you do it again. And again. Until her hips are moving against your touch, until her nails bite into your shoulders, until her breath is a series of broken, unsteady exhalations, ‘Yes, yes, oh fuck~’
You kiss her then. Hard. Deep. Drinking in every shiver, every sound, every breathless plea she won’t voice but you understand anyway.
And then— Then, finally— Her thighs part wider, welcoming you; knees hooking around your hips, heels digging into the small of your back. You press your shaft along her golden-soft navel, hard enough to get her whimpering under the heat of your shaft. You drag slowly along her soft—yet firm—navel, coursing the map lower and lower—until the nub responsible for her heat—all swollen and beautiful and pink—meets your tip. She lets out a sudden whimper; She glares, and you press a kiss on her temple once again—sorry baby, sorry. At the end of the map, you feel the slick heat of her cunt against the head of your cock, her entrance fluttering, pulsing, as you grind around the clit in slow, torturous circles. Precum smears her folds, mingling with her arousal, the glide obscenely wet. ‘Fuck,’ she hisses, nails raking down your spine. ‘Stop—stop toying—’ You catch her wrist, pinning it above her head again. ‘No.’ Your other hand grips the base of your cock, guiding it through her slit, the swollen head catching on her clit with every pass. She jerks, a broken moan tearing free, her hips bucking—but you hold firm, denying her friction. ‘You wanted slow. This is slow.’ Her cunt weeps, glistening, her inner lips swollen and flushed. You watch, transfixed, as your cockhead nudges her entrance, spreading her open incrementally. A single inch sinks in, the velvety grip of her walls clenching reflexively, and you groan through gritted teeth. ‘Christ’ She whimpers, her clit throbbing against your shaft as you retreat, dragging your tip through her folds again. ‘Please—’ Her voice cracks, tears spilling down her temples. ‘Just—fuck me—’ You lean down, lips grazing hers. ‘Where?’ She glares, chest heaving. ‘You know—’ ‘Say it.’ ‘Inside—’ ‘Inside what?’ You press forward, another inch sheathed, the stretch burning sweet. ‘Use your words, Yujin.’ Her thighs tremble. ‘My—my cunt.’ ‘Good girl.’ You sink deeper, the thick ridge of your cockhead massaging her front wall, that spongy patch of nerves that makes her sob. Her cervix yields, soft and pliant, as you bottom out, hips flush against hers. Her cunt clenches, a vice of slick muscle, and you swear, forehead dropping to her shoulder. ‘You’re gonna milk me dry—’ ‘Move,’ she demands, her ankles locking behind your back. ‘Move or I’ll—’ ‘You’ll what?’ You pull out almost completely, leaving just the tip seated, her clit rubbing against your shaft. ‘Beg?’ She keens, back arching, breasts pressed to your chest. ‘Yes—yes, god, please—’ You snap your hips forward, sheathing yourself in one brutal thrust. Her scream is muffled by your palm as you clamp it over her mouth, your other hand sliding between you to circle her clit. ‘Quiet,’ you growl, grinding deep. ‘You’ll take it. All of it.’ Her cunt ripples around you, fluttering in erratic pulses, her clit swollen and pebbled beneath your thumb. You fuck her with shallow, punishing rolls of your hips, each stroke dragging your cockhead over that sweet spot, her thighs shaking, her breath coming in ragged, choked gasps. ‘Look at me,’ you snarl, removing your hand from her mouth. She obeys, eyes glassy, lips bitten raw. ‘Whose cunt is this?’ ‘Yours—’ ‘And whose cock?’ ‘Mine—’ You slam into her, hilt-deep, your balls slapping her ass. ‘Louder—’ ‘MINE—’
The word cracks through the room, ragged and raw, and you reward it by slamming into her hilt-deep, your pelvis grinding against her clit as you still inside her. Her cunt clenches, a vice of slick heat, and you hiss through your teeth, your grip bruising on her hips. ‘Again,’ you demand, pulling out until only the swollen head of your cock remains lodged in her entrance. Her inner lips cling to you, reluctant to let go. She whines, back arching off the bed. ‘Yours—your cunt, your everything—’ You thrust back in, slow, savoring the way her walls ripple to accommodate you. ‘And what do you want?’ 'You,’ she gasps, nails carving half-moons into your shoulders. ‘Inside me—claiming me—’ 'How?' You drag your cockhead over that spongy patch of nerves again, deliberate, watching her thighs quake. 'Cum,' she begs, tears streaking her temples. 'Fill me—mark me—' You still, your hand sliding up to grip her throat—not restricting air, just owning. 'Ask nicely.' Her breath hitches. 'Please—please, I need it—need you to paint my insides white, need to feel it—' A dark thrill curls in your gut. You lean down, lips brushing hers. 'Since you asked so sweetly.' You start a brutal, precise rhythm—deep, grinding thrusts that punch the air from her lungs. Each snap of your hips drags her clit against the base of your cock, each retreat leaves her clenching around nothing. Her cunt weeps, arousal slicking your shaft, the obscene slap of skin on skin echoing off the walls. 'Look at me,' you snarl, tightening your grip on her throat. Her eyes fly open, hazy but obedient. 'You take me so well,' you murmur, your free hand sliding between you to circle her throbbing clit. 'This greedy cunt—my greedy cunt—sucking me in like you were made for it.'
She sobs, her walls fluttering. 'Yours—always yours—'
'Prove it.' You pin her wrists above her head with one hand, your other still working her clit. 'Come. Now.'
Her orgasm rips through her violently—back arched, cunt spasming, a scream tearing from her throat as she soaks your cock. You ride it out, fucking her through the pulses, your thrusts turning jagged, erratic.
'Mine,' you growl, feeling your balls tighten. 'Say it—say it—'
'Yours—god, yours—'
You slam into her one last time, hilt-deep, and hold. Your release surges—thick, hot ropes of cum flooding her cervix, painting her walls in stripes of white. She whimpers, oversensitive but greedy, her cunt milking every drop as you grind your hips in slow, possessive circles.
'Take it,' you grit out, watching her stomach quiver with the force of your spend. 'All of it.'
She nods, dazed, her thighs trembling around your waist. You collapse atop her, still buried inside, your lips finding the sweat-damp hollow of her throat.
—
Yujin’s lashes flutter against your chest, and there’s a moment where she seems to wrestle with something—embarrassment, vulnerability—but it dissolves when she feels your fingers tracing gentle circles against her back. She shifts, propping herself up just enough to look at you, her eyes dark and soft and entirely too honest.
‘You know,’ she whispers, voice almost shy, ‘I used to dream about this. You and me, like this. Just… here.’
‘Here?’ You brush a damp strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. ‘In bed, sweaty and gross?’
A soft laugh escapes her, warm and tender. ‘Yeah. Exactly this.’ Her fingertips graze your jaw, light as the touch of a memory. ‘I’d think about waking up to you, about how it’d feel to fall asleep in your arms. It’s stupid, I know—’
‘Not stupid,’ you murmur, cutting her off with a kiss—soft, lingering, like you’re trying to pour every unspoken word into it. ‘Never stupid.’
Her gaze softens even further, and she buries her face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent like it’s something she needs to breathe. You feel her lips press against your pulse, a delicate kiss that sends warmth flooding through you.
‘I don’t want to let you go,’ she confesses, voice muffled. ‘Not tonight. Not ever.’
‘Then don’t.’ You trail your fingers up and down her spine, feeling the subtle curve of her back beneath your touch. ‘Hold on to me. I’m not going anywhere.’
She shifts, looping her arms around your neck, pressing her body flush against yours. The contact is warm, grounding, and you let yourself sink into it, let yourself feel the weight of her, the steady thrum of her heartbeat against your chest.
‘You’re too good at this,’ she mumbles, the faintest hint of a pout in her voice. ‘Making me feel safe. Like I belong here.’
You tighten your hold on her, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. ‘You do belong here. With me. Always.’
Her breath shudders, and you feel her fingers clutch at your shoulders, like she’s afraid you might slip away. You press another kiss to her forehead, then her temple, then her cheek, each touch softer than the last.
‘Yujin,’ you whisper, and she looks up at you, eyes wide and glistening. ‘There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’
She smiles—a real, unguarded smile—and you feel the weight of it settle in your chest. She lifts herself up just enough to press a kiss to your lips, lingering, tender, unhurried. It’s a kiss that feels like a promise, like something that doesn’t need words to be understood.
When she pulls back, her face is flushed, her expression open and raw. ‘I love you,’ she says softly, the words so simple, so devastatingly sincere.
You cup her face, thumb brushing over her cheek. ‘I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.’
She settles against you, fitting herself into the curve of your body, her head resting against your chest. You stroke her hair, feeling the tension melt from her frame as she presses one last kiss to your heart.
The room is warm and heavy with the scent of you both, with the quiet weight of something real and unbreakable. You feel her breathing slow, her body growing heavy with sleep, and you let your own eyes drift shut, content to let the world narrow to the steady rise and fall of her breath.
And then—nothing. Just the two of you tangled together, warmth and closeness and the certainty that this, right here, is home.
—
a/n: Experimenting yet again. Hopefully the last sex scene wasn't too mortifying. But I really enjoyed writing this—Yujin's personality meshes really well with with the dialogue I was aiming to do (hopefully I succeeded). This was a half-finished draft that I managed to finish (through merging other drafts, other idols, et cetera et cetera), and now I don't have a single draft remaining; sooo... I don't know how this fares for the next fic (hopefully not too long..... haha..heh..he).
a/n 2: Much love for all the support: they never go unnoticed!!! <3333333
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Soap Warms You Up (18+)
Service Dog Johnny Part 20 (full part list here)
Pairing: Simon Riley/Fem Reader/Johnny MacTavish Content warnings: Sexual contact, she/her reader Word Count: 2.7k
It makes you cry harder.
Frozen, bitterly confused, Johnny’s words just turn you into more of an emotional mess. You devolve into gasping those deep, undignified sobs onto his shoulder, because all you know is it hurts. Being near him is a suffocating grief, and he’s as close as can be now, wrapping you up even tighter and muttering, “It’s okay,” over and over, as if saying it enough times will somehow make it true.
You attempt to stop crying long enough to apologize, but every time you try, your lungs seize and your voice breaks, and the tide continues. You must really be concerning Johnny, because at some point he starts babbling confused assurances that it’s not a big deal, and there will be other nights to do stuff, and are you upset because you’re cold?
“I’m s-s-s-s-sorry,” you manage explain through jackhammering teeth. “I know it w-asn’t— didn’t go the w-way I—”
“Let’s get these sorted,” comes a familiar, gruff voice from the front seat, and fingers grab for the sticky fabric of your leggings to start pulling them down.
“It was fun,” Johnny insists, petting your hair in a clumsy sort of way. “Maybe one of these days—”
“Trousers,” barks Simon, giving your leggings two irritated tugs.
Sadly, Johnny joins him in ridding you of your pants, instead of staying on the very important topic of whether or not you’re a massive let-down.
You’re pudding-brained by it all. By the time you remember you can actually help undress yourself instead of sitting there uselessly, your hands just get in the way. So you get stripped in the car like a toddler, and then Johnny takes his coat off to tuck it around your thighs, and wraps you up in his arms again. If only you weren’t so cold, so you’d know if it’s a hug he actually wants to give.
But you are cold, and your legs greedily suck up his coat’s residual body heat. Even his stupid warmth feels good, like it’s got a delicious taste of who he is stored in it. Johnny’s heat, and his body pressed to yours, and you can finally breathe, just a little.
He sighs into your hair, as if he understands. You wish he wouldn’t.
“Once the car warms up, you can take the coat back,” you whisper. “I’ll be fine.”
“Nae bother, I’m warm blooded.”
“Okay, well, Simon can give it back to you on Monday—”
“‘S alright,” cuts in the third voice, “we’re going round to Johnny’s after this.”
You can tell by the sudden rigidity of the body against yours that this is completely new information to Johnny.
If you had some emotional strength left, you might worry about that. Might try to figure out some way to diffuse the situation and make sure he’s not offended by Simon’s glaring overstep, but you don’t. Your boyfriend has chosen this day of all days to go around Mr. Collins-ing Johnny, and you’re not in a position to do anything about it.
Besides, it lights a little spark of hope in your chest, that you’ll get another chance to make everything alright.
“Yeah,” Johnny says slowly, like he’s still processing the idea. “Yeah… alright.”
The first spot of heat from the car begins to warm your feet, and all you can do is exist.
----------------------------------
“Got one of those speed settings,” Johnny promises, rummaging around his dresser for a pair of sweatpants. “Have ‘em clean and out the dryer in an hour.”
“Thank you. Really.” Your bare legs clamp together a little tighter for warmth, peeking out from beneath Simon’s enormous black coat. “And thanks for letting us crash your place in the meantime. I know it’s— Well, I know Simon didn’t exactly ask first.”
You keep your eyes on his face, on that vaguely happy expression that you suspect now is just his usual mask to keep people out. You should have known, really, but he’s different from other people you’ve met. He’s figured out how to avoid suspicion unless you look really close.
“It’s nothing. Get these on, and I’ll make you a tea.” He glances a little too long at your eyes as he hands you that bundle of clothes, as if they look as tender as they feel. His expression slips a little right then, the corner of his mouth going tight with concern.
So you hold his gaze, attempting to convince him with some excessive eye contact that you’re actually doing much better, and he doesn’t need to worry at all. “Tea sounds great.”
Tea does not sound great. Cocooning yourself in blankets and scrolling on your phone until you forget why you’re sad sounds great. Getting kissed and cuddled and then sleeping for about twelve hours sounds great. But anything is better than the evening you thought you were going to have, crying into your pillow over your monumental failures.
To his credit, Johnny doesn’t hover. The door soon clicks shut behind him, and you can finally exhale. Tossing the sweatpants onto the bed, you eagerly flop yourself down beside them, squashing your face flat to the mattress on purpose so you won’t be able to breathe.
You’re on Johnny’s bed, in the least sexy situation you can imagine. Bare, slightly sticky thighs, one sock coming off a little bit, hair messed up and eyes raw. And now your lungs are also burning, because you’ve decided to hold your breath, because you’re dramatic.
Absently, your fingers curl open and closed on the blanket, giving you pleasant sensory feedback to counter the ache in your chest.
You want someone touching you. Not necessarily in a sexual way, just some kind of contact to focus on and settle your nerves. You didn’t get to cry quite long enough to reach a state of numbness, and now you’re just unsatisfied, exposed and hungry. Your skin feels like the rough side of velcro, waiting for someone to brush up against it so you can snag them.
Too soon, you’re forced to raise your head and suck in some air. Your eyes land absently on Johnny’s bedside table, and you frown in confusion.
Is that?...
No way.
You quickly army crawl across the mattress to peer down at – exactly what you thought it was – the same sort of hobby things you have at home, shoved haphazardly into the top drawer so that some of it is poking out. So that’s how he’s able to show up to your house all those weeks ago, immediately proficient. ‘Never done this before,’ your ass.
Maybe it’s a little spiteful and childish, but you use that as permission to snoop. You open the drawer all the way and quickly glance over the annoying, perfect lines of his project, before casting your eyes over the other contents.
Johnny’s got a similar knife to the one Simon has in his night stand, along with some mismatched notebooks and pencils, a few receipts, and condoms and lube. Two boxes of condoms and two different types of lube, to be specific.
You shove the drawer shut as fast as you can, but it’s too late. There’s no avoiding the uncomfortable vision of Johnny having sex with someone else, in this bed.
It should have been you.
Stop it.
It should be you, tonight.
He said he’s done, though.
You’re pretty sure you could convince him.
Respecting people’s boundaries is the bare minimum standard for loving them.
Do you love him?
Suddenly, you can perfectly hear Simon’s voice in your head, scattering the flurry of thoughts with a long suffering, ‘Fuckin’ ‘ell.’
He’s right. You’re being dumb, and you aren’t in the right mind to make any sort of important decision. So you do the smart thing, and wander into Johnny’s bathroom to wash the sugar residue off your legs. You fix your hair as best you can, rid yourself of the coat, and then pull on Johnny’s soft, spare clothes.
You need Simon. That’s exactly what you need, because that’s an actual resource you have, with no strings attached. You don’t have to think, when you’re with him.
Like a heat-seeking missile, you make your way out of the bedroom in search of a comforting pec to rest your cheek on. There’s Johnny, busy doing something in the tiny kitchen. There’s the TV, playing football of course. And there’s Simon, relaxed and spread out in the only chair, which is a huge problem. He’s not supposed to be sitting by himself, he’s supposed to be saving you a spot on the couch, as your designated comfort person.
You judge your options as you walk, glancing at the leather couch, and practically shivering at the cold isolation of it.
Surely Simon knows you’re sad. He must realize he needs to be available to you, so it’s the reasonable thing to go out of your way to get extra close as you walk past his chair. You calculate your steps to slow at the right moment, so he can reach out and pull you into his lap.
No dice. You make your way over the entire stretch of carpet without a single movement from Simon, or greeting, or any other of the hundred ways he could invite you over to himself.
Hurt and annoyed, you plop your ass down on the couch as far from him as possible, and stare resolutely at the commercial playing on the TV.
Boyfriend, what a joke. More like boy-acquaintance who shares a bed with you. Can’t be bothered to give you a hug on the worst night ever, obsessed with watching stupid footballers run down a stupid field and never score any goals.
Naturally, you curl your feet under you and cuddle yourself into the corner of the couch to cope. Best to compress yourself into a ball and communicate that you don’t need him, either. You’re fine. You’re at your ex-fuck-buddy’s apartment and he’s been fucking other people in his bed, and everything’s totally, completely fine.
There’s a movement in your peripheral vision, and you’re such a bleeding-hearted sucker that you instantly whip your head around, hoping Simon has finally—
Nope. He meets your eyes with that familiar, disaffected stare as he finishes raising a bottle of beer to his lips.
Motherfucker.
“Are you avoiding me?” you shoot at him, whispering the words quietly enough not to carry past the two of you.
Simon does that slow blink that’s his version of an eye roll, swallowing his sip. “Negative.”
Okay, but there’s an expanse of cold, empty cushion next to you, and you’re lonely.
“Hungry?” Johnny asks, emerging from the kitchen area with a mug of something in one hand, and a plate in the other.
He doesn’t wait for your agreement, just sits right down next to you and puts his socks up on the coffee table. “Got some bread and cheese, and tea. Not sure how you like it, but G–uh–Simon puts all sorts of sugar in his, and I thought I’d spare you.”
You can’t help but smile over at Johnny’s offerings, the way he’s using his thigh as a table for your snacks. “This is… very nice. Thank you, Johnny.”
Automatically your eyes flick up to his face, catching on the authentic, happy smile he’s directing at you. He’s never had you over before, not on purpose at least. It feels almost like something important, the fact that you’re here. If only you had the brain power to consider all the possible angles, you’d be able to figure it out.
Instead, you munch on the mediocre cheese and the very good bread, sip on the tea that’s really not so bad. You suspect Johnny just made tea for you the same way he makes it for himself. Sweet, with a little bit of milk. It warms you right up.
“Did you do any acting when you were a kid?” you ask around a mouthful.
Johnny finds the question as funny as you’d hoped, smiling as he steals a drink of your tea. “Nah.”
“You sure? There’s this show called Teletubbies, with this sun that’s a baby…”
“You’re full of it.”
“Do a baby laugh, so we can check.”
Johnny gives you a reproachful look, which you barely notice over the chuckling from the direction of the chair.
“I’ll keep my reputation the way it is, thanks.”
“When we’re alone,” you agree conspiratorially.
Johnny groans with what you hope is pretend annoyance, looping his arm around your neck to lean you into him and kiss your hair. “When we’re alone,” he whispers back, in that joking-but-not-really sort of way.
“I missed you, too,” you mumble, heart starting to race at the risk you’re taking.
And to your surprise, Johnny just leans his head around and kisses you, before the words have even had a chance to land anywhere.
Stubbly lips on your tingly, swollen ones. A blossom of something warm and liquid in your chest. A very male, very happy noise breathed into your mouth.
Balance in the universe.
Fingers find your neck, sweeping comfortingly across your throat. You settle into the kiss, don’t dare stop any of it, because that’s when the uncertainty will take hold. If you stop kissing him, then you’ll have to think, so you just keep pressing your lips to his, respecting the slow pace he’s set, and waiting for him to lick against your tongue.
The plate must have vanished into thin air, because when Johnny pulls your knee up over his hips, there’s just you and him, and nothing in between. Dry and warm and melting into each other, you settle your pussy atop the hard bulge in his pants and hold him tightly in your arms.
It’s okay, your body says to his body, fingers sliding into his hair. Let’s just touch each other, and we’ll figure out the rest later.
His mohawk has grown out a bit since the last time you felt it. It’s turned a little wavy and rough in your fingers, the sides of his head losing that velvet texture it had when it was freshly buzzed.
Things have changed, you can feel it. He’s different now, his movements hesitant, his hands vibrating slightly as they coast down your thighs. It almost feels like something’s wrong, except that every time you try to pull back and get a look at him, he just crushes you closer, gets his hands under your shirt and starts feeling you up.
You let him, because you want it. You want to connect with him again, give him that mindless pleasure and let him feel how right your body is for his body.
Soon you’re topless and braless, basking in his attention, his tongue in your mouth, the dampness between your legs. You don’t want to fuck him in his bed, and be reminded of all the others who came before. You just want to make love to him right here, surrounded by the scattered snacks and tea, the signs of his caring nature. He’s a good person, and you’ll make him face it, see it reflected back at him because you’re the same.
“Need a condom,” he says hoarsely, when you’ve just got the button on his pants undone.
“It’s okay, I’m still on the pill.” Your fingers find him through his underwear, stroking that poor, bunched up cock.
“No, we n-need one, this time. Until I can get tested.”
Oh. Because he must have been having unprotected sex with other people. You draw your head back to get a look at his face, the eyes that suddenly can’t meet yours.
“It’s okay,” you tell him, because it is. Yes, it hurts to know. Yes, you’d like to use a condom for more than just your sake. But you never expected him to stay celibate. In all those days of grief and pain, the thought crossed your mind a few hundred times.
Johnny shakes his head a little, staring down at the cushion beside him.
“Johnny, it’s okay.”
The noise that bursts out of him shocks you, a deep, snorted sob. You gape in surprise as Johnny’s hands shoot to his face, and he does it again, shoulders shaking.
“Baby,” you whisper, and Johnny starts to cry.
Next Part
Dividers by the-aesthetics-shop
#service dog johnny#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#call of duty#simon Riley x reader#x reader#cod soap#cod ghost#dinnertime#soap x reader#ghost x reader
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ONE MORE BEFORE YOU GO ♱. ── ( 엔하이픈 )
trying to get them to stay and go another round …
𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 엔하이픈 x fem!reader ) ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ smut. content warning. allusions to sex , cursing word count. 0.8k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library !
𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ i was so confused on how to write this , idky
﹙ 𝐢𝐯. 정원 : jungwon﹚ .ᐟ
“that pouty face isn’t gonna work this time.” he said looking down at your pouty face , you were wrapped up in nothing but a sheet. “it worked last time.” you purred , purposely letting the blanket fall. “fuck , you’re really pushing your luck.” he looked at the time — he was gonna be only 5 minutes late if he left right now. “why worry about the time when you can just stay here.” he chuckled. “stay here , and what fuck you all day?” you shrug, you perfect mounds on display. “doesn’t seem like a bad idea to me.”
“you’re insatiable.” he said ; the entire time he’s slowly losing jus mind. “you know you want to.” you said , he checked the time once more — he’ll be 10 minutes late if he leaves now… but he won’t be late at all if he just doesn’t go , plus he’ll be able to feel you all over again. “i promise this is the last time this will ever happen.” he said kissing your lips. “let’s see how wet you are for me.”
﹙ 𝐢𝐯. 희승 : heeseung ﹚ .ᐟ
hearing you whine for the 10th time as he put his clothes on makes him laugh. “glad to know my suffering brings you happiness and entertainment.” you roll around in the bed , barely clothed , normal that would be enough for heeseung; but he was already 30 minutes late to practice. “im laughing because you’re just too cute baby , whine and throwing a tantrum because i wont fuck you again , even though i just made you cum three times.”
“but im still horny.” you said sitting up on your knees. “please , just once more.” you pouted. “and then you’re free to go.” you said , pulling at his belt loop. “you’re crazy.” he said , his lips barely brushing against yours. “for you yes.” he giggled , time long forgotten. “you what baby fuck it , lay back.” he said , hovering above you. “i can’t leave my girl all needy and this wet for me can i , what kinda boyfriend would i be?”
﹙ 𝐢𝐯. 제이 : jay ﹚ .ᐟ
sighing as you rub his shoulders; he knows what you’re trying to do. “what if you’re just 20 minutes late?” you purr into his ear. “what can it hurt?” you kissed behind his ear — you were gonna kill him in the best possible way. “because 20 minutes will turn into a hour messing around with you princess , the boys are already blowing my phone like crazy and — fuck.” he threw his head back as you kissed his neck some more. “please.” your hands working on his chest. “you know you want to.”
he couldn’t hold back anymore; turning around , hovering above you. “you’re so spoiled baby.” he said , wrapping your legs around his waist. “it’s all your fault.” you bit back playfully. “yeah?” he smirked , bring his thumb to your bottom lip. “let me take full responsibility then , fuck you the way you should be.”
﹙ 𝐢𝐯. 제이크 : jake﹚ .ᐟ
he literally has to fight himself internally to get out of the bed and leave you every morning even when you don’t have mind blowing morning sex , but it’s 100x times harder leaving out the door when you’re still begging for another round. “baby.” he whined. “i can’t i'm already late.” keep in mind he’s still hard himself and your begging isn’t doing him any good. “please jake , i need you so much.” he really needs to leave , his phone has already been blowing up.
he falls for it everytime ; the ole ‘just a kiss before you go.’ bending down to kiss you ; only for him to deepen the kiss , he can’t help it , he just loves kissing you ; it gets him all worked up. “fuck you do this all the time.” he moaned against your neck. “jake please fuck me.” you moaned… safe to say jake showed up to practice an hour late that day.
﹙ 𝐢𝐯. 성훈 : sunghoon ﹚ .ᐟ
his shirt isn’t even buttoned up; as he rushes to put his pants and shoes on. “shit im so fucking late right now.” you on the other hand; you’re up and on one already. “see so it doesn’t matter; you’re already late.” you said , he stared at you , you were the reason he was late now , you looked so good in the morning he couldn’t help himself. “we’ve been at it since early this morning , im not sure how im gonna stay awake during practice.” he said. “how are you still so fucking needy.”
“because you look good.” you smiled with a look anything but innocent. “how about you stay home then?” he scoffed. “of course you’d say that.” he said , yet he’s the one kicking his shoes off , crawling back in bed. “are you gonna call the guys and tell them you were being such a needy slut for me today that’s why i didn’t show up?” you nodded. “if you stay in this bed and fuck me all day then i’ll tell them anything.” knowing sunghoon he’s gonna definitely hold you to it.
﹙ 𝐢𝐯. 선우 : sunoo ﹚ .ᐟ
“sorry my love.” he said quickly trying to get ready while you persuade him to stay behind. “but i can’t stay any longer.” you looked so good laying in bed , but sunoo was already so late. “why.” you pouted. “i miss you already.” you said. “what about one more round , then i guess you can go and leave me here to die.” he shook his head at how dramatic you were being , but alas he couldn’t tell you no , even if jungwon was currently blowing his phone up.
“just one more okay.” he crawled back into bed with you. “then i really have to go my love.” he kissed both sides of your cheeks. “so pretty.” he whispered , grinding his lower region against yours. “how can i ever say no to you.”
©️LUVYENI
#enhypen smut reactions#enhypen smut#enhypen hard headcanons#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x reader#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung x reader#jay park x reader#jay park smut#jake sim smut#jake sim x reader#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut#kim sunoo x reader#kim sunoo smut#jungwon smut#yang jungwon x reader
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it's crazy how trans men said "it makes us sad when we're constantly bombarded with jokes about how terrible men are" and now every post is like "ugh why are we doing #notallmen again!"
As I said before, I only started talking about this when- in a queer-focused and trans-run facebook group- there were constant jokes from cis women about how attraction to men is a curse and why would anyone actually want to be with a man and how unnatural men are and why would anyone want to be a man, and when a couple trans men went "hey uhhh these jokes are pretty hurtful can we maybe... not do this in a queer group? I hear this enough from homophobic/transphobic people" they were told they were the ones at fault and promptly removed from said group by the trans man who was the admin.
I repeat, in a place that is supposed to welcome all queer identities, it was seen as praxis to continuously bash men and when queer men protested they were kicked out.
When my cis lesbian friend is complaining about a dude being a creep or having The Audacity, I'm not offended when she turns to me and says "Jasper, why are men????? WHY????" Because I get it. I also have dealt with creeps and male audacity. She's venting, she understands that there are also dudes that are not like this, and she's addressing a conversation that needs to happen about the way [usually white, cishet, abled, etcetcetc] dudes act especially towards women. She would not be friends with me if she felt I was acting this way, myself.
What I have a problem with is when venting transforms into politics- because at that point the logical "obviously she knows and does not mean every single man in this entire planet" stops being true when it becomes "no but for real I mean it, we should kill all men and start over as a society" which is a thing I have actually seen stated by radical feminists.
I think there's a big difference between two people having a private conversation that is perhaps not the most inclusive of all nuance and viewpoints, and blasting your personal opinions about how you think men are disgusting and and attraction to men is unnatural within a space occupied by people who A: are men B: are attracted to men C: have been told repeatedly by society that their attraction to men makes them disgusting and unnatural.
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shovel talk
it's not even six in the morning and yet the shovel grates across the walkway, grit of pebbles beneath its steel edge scraping and catching. it balks in unsteady hands, tries again with another drawn out rasp before meeting the wall of the bank. trembling as it rises, it spills a portion its spare load back across the pavers before being tipped meticulously atop the mountain of snow that runs parallel the walk. she lets the shovel fall carelessly ahead of her and grits her teeth, rises an inch and scoots forward minutely, dragging the cheap lawn chair she's been perched on along by a hand shoved between her knees, gripping the seat. it scrapes just as much as the shovel, heavy with implication. she's not even wearing a proper jacket, just a flannel over a zip up hoodie, the wool weave of her button up already beaded with melted snow.
she looks ornery and mulish, but so are you and you can't just keep walking past.
clear blue eyes turn on you when you call to her, ask if you can help. her hands might shake but her gaze is level, taking you in from head to toe before scooting herself along another inch. "shouldn't be doin' that," she advises, voice croaky in her old age.
"neither should you," you counter, nodding at her makeshift mobility aid. it teeters when she turns to chuckle at you, though she hides it in a cough. stubborn old bat, you can already tell.
"anyway my son will be here soon."
pursing your lips, you look the walk over properly. the poor woman's already done over half of it - how late is the son exactly? but you don't comment on it, step closer when her shovel catches on a shelf of ice instead. "give it here, please," you offer rather diplomatically. she frowns apprehensively but does as told, shuffling her seat back a smidge to give you room to work. it takes a couple tries but you catch the bottom edge of the ice, ply it back and huck it over the bank easily enough. it thunks as it sinks through the snow, a real ice breaker.
"and here i'd pegged you for some soft, sweet thing," she laughs, sheepish.
"must've loosened it for me," you shrug, and turn to finish the walk while she's distracted, laughing herself into a minor coughing fit. "should you go inside?" you offer, unsure if it's a good suggestion seeing as that would leave some strange woman alone on her front lawn.
thankfully she just waves you off as she calms herself down, heavy breaths clouding around her like the smoke that's probably catching up to her. "can't. gotta take credit for your work when my son gets here."
"oh, i see how it is," you snark, and purposefully leave a good quarter inch on the paver, a base level that will freeze solid soon enough and create another sheet of ice for her to struggle with in the future.
she just eyes you, thin eyebrow pulled low on a once-heavy brow. she may be old and frail but it's a sort of sternness that doesn't dull with age and you can only smile to yourself as you fix it. no wonder her son still comes by to help. "he running late?" you ask conversationally, nod up the path where she's already done most of the work by way of explanation when she hmm's at you.
"oh, no. he'll be two hours early, probably. which is why i'm out here three hours early. a woman's got to have her pride, after all."
you nod along as if that's reasonable. "well what's he gonna do when he gets here, then?"
"fix my water heater," she gripes. "say, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
it earns an unladylike snort from you, but you don't think she's the type to mind. "'fraid not."
the stoop is easy enough, just a quick swipe to clean the steps. you note the name above the door with some interest, a misplaced desire to keep tags on her, come back and check maybe. "got any salt, mrs. price?"
she motions you toward the open garage behind her but sticks a hand out for help as you pass. her grip is surprisingly strong on your forearm, the fingers of her other hand digging into your tricep almost cruelly when she uses you to drag herself up. you snatch the lawn chair up before she can even try it, nod toward the garage questioningly.
"next to the overhead, please," she agrees, and you find the bucket of salt right beside it, an empty coffee can already filled and ready for dispensing. when you emerge from the garage, there's a truck parked out front.
"give me that," mrs. price hisses and you jump to find her so close, already snatching the can from your fingers. old bat can still move.
the driver's door creaks when it closes. you can only see the top of a blue beanie from over the roof of it but mrs. price doesn't wait to see him before hollering at her son. "i thought you wouldn't be here until nine!?"
tall and burly with his mother's same stern brow, price junior rounds the corner of his truck and frowns between the two of you."and i thought you didn't like when other people shoveled for you," he counters before tacking on a quick hi pet towards you.
"hi -."
"who's shoveled for me?" she demands, motioning up the walk with another spray of salt. "did this all on my own."
he hums as he comes closer, boots crunching over the thin dusting of snow that still coats the driveway. you sincerely hope mrs. price didn't shovel all that, but judging by the banks that line the drive you suspect a service was likely hired. why they couldn't take an extra two minutes to clear an old lady's walkway you'd never know. you think maybe the son is wondering the same, the way he's inspecting the short stretch critically, but when he opens his mouth it's not at all meant to insult the snow removal service. "you're losing your touch, woman."
you're unsure who's more offended, yourself or his mother. "what's wrong with it?" you blurt, unheeding of the way mrs. price elbows you again.
"i've done a fine job," she supplies, trying to save face.
he just tilts his head at her patronizingly, rocks up onto his toes to appear unnecessarily bigger. "you've forgotten we're expecting more snowfall soon. you'll want to widen the walk to push the banks back, make it easier to shovel out the next storm."
this ass. "well if you'd wanted it done right, you should have shown up on time," you huff, unreasonably defensive of the quick job you'd done.
he's still got that insufferable expression on when he turns to you, but you think you see an edge of something playful glimmering in his clear blue eyes, that same expression his mother had worn when she'd asked if you could perhaps also take his job fixing her water heater. "'on time' would be hours from now," he reminds you. "would you have had this all fixed by then?"
the worst part is, calling him out on the insult would mean admitting you'd done it, and you're suddenly very aligned with this man's mother re: his versus her pride. instead you turn his own words back on him, leaning close to your new friend to ask her if she's going to take that.
she chuckles. "oh, don't mind him. john here's just scared because he knows his job is at risk."
you watch john frown between the two of you, the furrow between his brows deepening in a way which brings you too much pleasure. part of you wants to stay, keep carving away at his pride, but you're now running late for work and you still have a few blocks to walk. "well, it was lovely to meet you, mrs. price," you say with an overly formal shake of her hand.
"pleasure doing business," she agrees with a wry smile. "see you again bright and early next snow storm."
john doesn't budge to let you pass, instead squints down at you in open assessment. you note his cheeks are rosy with the cold and you briefly hope he gets stuck outside fixing the damn walk, cold wind stinging the chapped apples of cheeks which his ridiculous beard doesn't quite cover. they scrunch up when he affects a smile, lend a sort of disarmingly childish quality to the patronizing tone he still can't quite drop. it just pisses you off even more. "didn't actually catch your name," he prompts, gloved hand extended, as if attempting to continue the ruse.
"that's because i didn't give it," you chirp in your best customer service voice. you brush past him when he can only blink in confusion, the contrast between your words and your tone evidently too much for him to process so early in the morning.
"she usually pays me with breakfast if you want to stick around!" he calls after you, far too late to start acting sweet.
you nearly slip in your haste to spin around and fix him with an overly saccharine smile. "oh, i already ate. got here at five," you lie, just to watch his face crumble into genuine concern.
behind him, his mother's thin mouth twists into a cheshire grin and you stumble away before she can solidify any real plans.
too bad she's just as stubborn and ornery as you.
too bad john's worse than both of you.
#idk i just wanna make him fall in love with someone who would absolutely hate him irl (me)#price x reader#shovel talk#captain john price x reader#john price x reader
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Right in Front of You
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b7eb7e0af7a2f8adcf8a9703befcf2e4/46832b04bb1ae355-55/s540x810/8136fd430603efbd210a3ddaf429beb83996bcc7.jpg)
f!reader x roommate yunho
oneshot | mdni
1.2k
Y/N spends Valentine’s night searching for a hookup, only to come home empty-handed—until she realizes the perfect option was sitting in her apartment all along, proving that sometimes, the best things don’t need to be chased—they’re already waiting for you
nsfw tags under
f/m, vaginal sex, teasting, dirty talk, fingering, doggy style, top yunho, bottom reader, roommates, reader is on BC, roommates to fucking?
author's note: since yesterday was February 14th—aka Valentine’s Day—but i didn’t post anything, i decided to drop a little post-Valentine’s treat ;))
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b517c1ade723c7836776ceacf3909ed9/46832b04bb1ae355-53/s540x810/97797beb76081f94268398cdffabf2f4ef9f4e09.jpg)
Y/N barely managed to keep her balance as she fumbled with the lock, heels dangling from one hand, bag slipping from the other. She was still in last night’s outfit—nothing too scandalous, but enough to scream I was trying to get laid and failed miserably. Her makeup wasn’t ruined per se, but her eyeliner had smudged just enough to give away that she hadn’t just stepped out looking fresh.
The moment she stumbled into the apartment, Yunho’s laughter rang through the living room. He was perched on the couch, long legs stretched out, nursing a mug of coffee like some judgmental prince.
“Well, good morning,” he drawled, a smirk playing at his lips. “What a sight I have right now.”
Y/N groaned, flipping him off without breaking stride as she tossed her shoes near the door.
“Rough night?” Yunho asked, his tone drenched in amusement.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” she grumbled, finally collapsing onto the couch next to him. “What about you? What did you do?”
Yunho took a slow sip of his coffee before answering. “Me? Oh, nothing crazy. Made dinner, played some games till like 2 AM, then went to bed.” He tilted his head toward her, eyes twinkling. “What about you? Who was the lucky one who took you home?”
Y/N groaned dramatically, draping an arm over her face. “That’s the thing. You’d think that on Valentine’s Day, the club would be filled with hot singles, right? But no. Just couples everywhere—kissing, slow dancing, rubbing their happiness in my face. Not a single man in sight.”
Yunho hummed, setting his mug down on the coffee table. “Huh. Well, I was alone yesterday, you know.”
She peeked at him from under her arm, brows furrowing. “What are you saying, Yunho?”
He turned to her then, closer than before, his gaze no longer teasing but intent. His voice dropped, slow and deliberate.
“If you wanted action,” he murmured, “you didn’t have to go to some stupid club.”
Y/N’s breath hitched as Yunho leaned in, close enough for her to catch the faint scent of coffee and whatever stupidly nice cologne he always wore. His arms rested on the couch, caging her in.
Her lips parted slightly, a mix of confusion and anticipation making her pulse spike. “You—what?”
Yunho scoffed, tilting his head at her like she was the dumbest person he’d ever met. “You’re actually so blind, Y/N,” he muttered, voice thick with amusement but something else too—something darker, something hungry. “You had the easiest opportunity to get laid right in front of you this whole time.”
His fingers trailed up her thigh, just barely skimming the fabric of her dress, and Y/N felt her brain short-circuit.
Looping her fingers behind his waistband, she tugged him even closer, their lips a hair’s breadth apart. “If that’s true, then maybe you should do something about it,” she murmured.
Yunho didn’t need to be told twice.
His mouth crashed against hers, hands sliding up to cup her face, thumbs digging in just enough to make her gasp. That was all the opening he needed, tongue slipping past her lips as he pressed his body flush against hers.
Heat coiled low in her stomach as Yunho’s hands abandoned her face in favor of something much more sinful—one slipping under her dress, the other palming her breast as he deepened the kiss, tilting her head just the way he wanted.
Y/N moaned into his mouth, fingers fumbling at his shirt, nails dragging over his abs before slipping beneath the waistband of his sweats.
“Fuck,” Yunho growled against her lips, his breath coming out shaky. “You’re really desperate, huh?”
Y/N had half a mind to be embarrassed, but then Yunho was pushing her dress up around her waist and dragging her panties down her thighs, and any rational thought she had completely dissolved.
He let out a low groan, fingers sliding through her slick folds, teasing her entrance before slipping one inside. Y/N’s breath stuttered, her back arching at the delicious stretch.
“Shh, keep quiet for now,” he murmured, smirking when she let out a sharp gasp. “We’ll see how long you last before you’re screaming my name.”
Y/N was about to snap back at him, but then he added another finger, curling them just right, and her head hit the back of the couch, a strangled moan ripping from her throat.
Yunho chuckled, working his fingers into her at a pace that was just slow enough to be torturous.
“You’re soaking wet,” he mused, voice dripping with satisfaction. “All that time looking for a one-night stand, and you could’ve just asked me.”
Y/N barely managed to glare at him, her fingers digging into his arms as she rocked against his hand, chasing the friction. “Stop talking and do something.”
Yunho raised a brow, then grinned. “Oh, you’re gonna regret saying that.”
In one swift motion, he withdrew his fingers and flipped her over, pressing her chest against the couch as he yanked her hips up. Y/N gasped, arching into him as he shoved his sweats and boxers down just enough to free himself.
She turned her head slightly, eyes widening as she caught sight of his cock—thick, flushed, and already dripping at the tip.
“Oh, fuck me,” she breathed.
“That’s the plan,” Yunho smirked, dragging the head of his cock through her slick folds before teasing her entrance.
And then he pushed in.
A broken moan ripped from Y/N’s throat as he sank into her, inch by inch, stretching her out in a way that had her thighs trembling.
Yunho let out a shuddering breath, his grip on her hips tightening. “Fuck, you’re tight,” he hissed. “You feel even better than I thought you would.”
Y/N barely had time to process that statement before he snapped his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt.
She choked on a gasp, back arching, hands scrambling for purchase against the couch.
“Oh my God—”
“Yeah?” Yunho groaned, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in. “Go on, baby. Let me hear who’s making you feel this good.”
Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, nails digging into the cushions. “Fuck, Yunho! You!”
He growled at that, fingers tangling in her hair as he yanked her head back slightly. “That’s right,” he murmured against her ear before biting down on her shoulder, setting a pace that had her body rocking against the couch.
Y/N felt like she was burning, pleasure coiling in her stomach as his thrusts grew rougher, more desperate.
“I can feel you squeezing me,” Yunho groaned, his hand sliding around to rub tight circles against her clit. “You gonna cum for me, baby?”
Y/N nodded frantically, barely able to form words. “Y-Yeah, fuck, Yunho—”
Her body tensed, pleasure exploding through her as she came with a cry, trembling beneath him. Yunho followed soon after, spilling deep inside her with a groan, his body slumping against hers.
For a moment, all she could hear was their ragged breathing.
“So... you wanna tell me that all this time I could’ve been getting the best dick ever, and instead I’ve been suffering in silence?”
Yunho chuckled against her skin. “Well, I guess we have time to make up for that.”
#atz#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez imagines#kpop#ateez smut#ateez oneshot#kpop smut#smut#yunho#yunho smut#ateez x reader#y/n#jeong yunho#yunho x reader#x reader#yunho ateez#yunho fic#ateez yunho
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The next step in the comic is when this person intentionally picks a fight with you. No matter what you say. No matter how you say it. Even if you discussed this before. Even if you came up with like, an action plan. Even if you carefully selected someone who you thought you could trust. Someone who would never.
If someone talks to you when you're overstimulated you should literally go ahead and start the fight yourself (I've never tried that but it's the one thing I haven't tried) because there is nothing you can do to stop the fight from happening. It is impossible. You got caught not being happy in public so now you probably lose this person as a friend or a useful ally or a significant other or a trusted person or whatever they are forever, and if you don't you are going to be at their mercy and owe them apology and deference for the rest of your relationship and they will never trust you and always pick fights with you and know that as soon as they goad you enough you will lose even if you're right so they can do anything they want and get away with it because you can't fucking control the volume of your voice. You're a loser. You're a baby. You're a monster. You're committing assault. You are not free. This is a cage. These are the bars of your cage. Anyone can lock you in it at any time for free. You begin to claw at your skin again, but it won't come off. It won't come off and you are too aware of it. People aren't watching. Thank God people aren't watching. If someone catches you clawing at your skin they will throw you in a cell for 72 hours. No one will actually do anything in the cell, but the government will take your tax refund for almost 6 years to pay for the cell and you will miss so much work you almost get evicted. Your boyfriend will yell at you a week after he cried and went down on you when you got out because you can't tell him how to fix your depression and the "emergency plan" you filled out with the doctor said "I have no idea just leave me alone in a corner someplace with my headphones." It's never about you. It's never about you. You aren't even allowed to die because your life is not your own. You can leave this boy but there will always be another boy. It could be a girl instead. They could be your "boss" or "friend" or "business partner." If they catch you unhappy in public they will also be a cage. Anyone can always turn into a cage. You wish you were actually in a cage most of the time, so you consider committing a crime. You think you could probably surprise your cell mate in prison with something weird enough that they would beat you to death or you would get solitary. That sounds easy. You only have to worry about one person and they also got thrown into a cage. They have a way you can lock them up, too. You don't care unless they can beat you to death. Pen stabbed into the brain. You can't hang yourself. You can't explain why you can't hang yourself. You are afraid death won't take if you hang yourself. You will wake up, somehow. You need it to be permanent. You need it to be over. Then you hear that in prison, they can force you to work in a call center.
They don't cover that part. That everyone wants you to be the biggest bitch in the world because then you don't get to be a person. They see that you are stressed out. They aren't fucking stupid. They want to make it worse because they want to hurt you. You learn that no one who says they are your friend will not sell you out. Will not gaslight you. Will not trick you or trap you or force you. Other people keep telling you to stop being avoidant and ask for help.
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Could you do bicep choking 🌚🙈
Daryl Dixon x Reader Grip
Summary: You let something slip—just a thought, just a passing comment—but Daryl hasn’t been able to shake it since. A week later, the tension between you reaches a breaking point. tags: smut MDNI 18+, awkward pining, pinv, breast play, praise kink. awkward daryl & fmc, bicep choking obvi a/n: hello my love! thank you so much for this request and for your patience. in a second ask, anon did specify that they meant Daryl bicep choking. fair warning, I did not reread this a ton / proofread much. please lmk of any mistakes/errors!
The sun hangs low over the trees, heat pressing in heavy as you weave through the abandoned gas station, boots crunching softly over broken glass. Daryl moves a few steps ahead, bow slung across his back, knife in hand, moving with that effortless quiet of his. Always aware. Always in control.
And his arms.
You tell yourself you’re just paying attention—watching his movements like he watches everything else around him, staying alert. But your gaze keeps catching on the shift of muscle beneath his skin, the way his forearms flex when he grips his knife, the lazy tension in his biceps every time he lifts his arm to wipe sweat off his brow.
You shouldn’t be looking.
But it’s hard not to.
Especially when he plants a boot on a fallen shelf, using his weight to pry open a rusted metal door. The strain makes his muscles coil tight, veins standing out just enough to make you swallow hard.
"Well?" His voice snaps you out of it.
You blink. "What?"
Daryl jerks his chin toward the darkened storage room behind the door. "You goin’ in first or what?"
Shit. You’ve been staring.
"Yeah. Right. On it."
You step past him, ears burning. The space inside smells like old rot and motor oil, a few overturned boxes scattered around. You crouch, rifling through some supplies, heart still kicking too fast. It’s stupid. You’ve been on runs with him before. But something about today—the heat, the silence between you, the way he’s been rolling his shoulders like his muscles are wound too tight—has you hyper-aware of every damn thing he does.
A tin of peaches clatters loose from a shelf, and you reach for it at the same time he does. Your fingers barely brush his, but the contact is enough to send a jolt up your arm, like static crackling under your skin. He pauses. Just for a second. And when he draws back, you swear you catch the flicker of his gaze sweeping over you before he looks away.
You can feel your pulse in your throat.
You should let it go. Should get back to work. But the words are out before you can stop them.
"You ever—" You hesitate, pulse hammering, but you push through. "You ever, I don’t know, choke somebody with your arms before?"
Daryl stops. Slowly, he turns his head toward you, eyes narrowing just slightly. His bicep shifts as he adjusts his grip on the tin in his hand. "The hell kinda question is that?"
Shiiiit. You fucked up.
But instead of retreating, you force yourself to keep looking at him, tilting your chin up just a little. "I just mean, you’re strong." A shrug, like it’s no big deal. "Bet you could hold somebody down real easy."
Silence.
Then, Daryl exhales through his nose, shaking his head. But there’s something in his expression—something flickering behind his eyes, sharp and considering.
He tosses the tin into your hands and mutters, "You’re weird." and walks away.
═════════════════════════
Back at the prison, dinner is quiet, the usual hum of conversation mixed with the occasional scrape of utensils against tin plates. Most people are too tired to talk much, a day of tending to the gardens, cleaning out cell blocks and keeping walkers at bay making everyone look forward to the slower evenings. The air in the hall feels thick with the kind of exhaustion that settles deep, making everything feel slow, heavy.
You should be eating, but your stomach isn’t interested.
Because Daryl’s staring at you.
You haven’t looked at him, not really since you got back, but you can feel it. That steady weight from across the room, the burning of your ears, it makes it almost impossible to keep your stomach from doing somersaults.
You should’ve kept your mouth shut on the run. Should’ve swallowed the words down, let them die in your throat. But no—you had to go and say it. Maybe it was your stupid hormones, the way he seemed to speak to some primal part of you that evolution put in your dna, maybe it was just some stupid impulse you couldn’t control. Either way, it’s too late now.
Not like it meant anything.
Except, if it didn’t, why was he still looking at you?
Your fingers tighten around your fork, but you don’t move to take another bite. Instead, you stare at the food on your plate, willing yourself to focus on anything other than the way your face feels too warm, the way your pulse is pressing a little harder than it should.
Maggie shifts in her seat, nudging Beth’s arm. “You good?”
You blink, glance up. Beth tilts her head, studying you, while Maggie smirks like she already knows something you don’t.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost today or somethin’,” Maggie says, “The run go that bad?”
“N-no,” you stammer, already feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, “It went fine. Got a lotta good stuff, actually.”
Maggie hums, unconvinced, and you watch as her eyes flicker behind you when she says, looking back at her plate, “Looks like someone’s got a little crush.”
The fork slips from your fingers, clattering against the plate, “I do not!”
But your reaction is what does it– it’s too sharp, too defensive. Beth startles a little, but Maggie just stares, slow realization spreading across her face as you lock eyes with her.
“I was only kiddin’." she says incredulously, "I meant the grouchy archer sittin' across the room, he keeps starin’ atcha.” she shakes her head, eyes lighting up. “But I see I’ve been mistaken.” She leans in. “You like Daryl?”
Your stomach drops.
Beth gasps, slapping Maggie’s arm. “Oh my god.”
Your face is on fire. “I don’t—”
Maggie grins. “Holy shit, you totally do.”
Beth’s trying to stifle a giggle. You shake your head fast, like that’ll help, like it’ll undo the last five seconds, but it only makes Maggie look even more certain. You can feel the walls closing in, feel their eyes on you, but worse—you can still feel his.
It’s too much. You push your plate away and mutter a quiet, “Not hungry anymore,” before standing and heading for the stairs, their laughter echoing behind you.
You don’t look back, because if you were to turn around and find those ocean blue eyes still on you, it would be your undoing.
═════════════════════════
The book in your hands is old, pages yellowed and brittle at the edges, the spine cracked so deep you have to be careful when you turn the pages. You’re not even sure what it’s about. Something about a man lost at sea. Maybe.
You’ve been staring at the same paragraph for the last ten minutes.
It’s not that it’s boring. It’s just that your mind refuses to focus.
You shift on your cot, tugging the blanket over your lap, trying again, but it’s useless. Your brain keeps circling back, over and over, to dinner. To Maggie’s knowing grin, Beth’s giggles, and—worst of all—Daryl.
You squeeze your eyes shut, exhaling sharply. You should’ve never said anything. Should’ve kept that stupid thought locked away where it belonged.
A quiet scuff of boots outside your cell makes your stomach jolt. There’s a pause, then a hesitant knock against the frame of your open door. Not loud or rushed, more like a question.
You look up.
Daryl stands in the doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets, head slightly ducked. His shoulders are hunched, like he’s already thinking about leaving before he’s even fully stepped inside.
For a moment, neither of you say anything.
Then, he clears his throat. “Didn’t know ya read.”
You blink. It’s such a small thing to say, but something about the way he says it, like he’s searching for an easy way in, trying to settle into the conversation, makes your stomach tighten.
You glance at the book in your lap. “Yeah. Helps pass the time.”
Daryl nods, his eyes flicking around the small space of your cell, like he’s looking for something else to comment on, something to delay whatever it is he actually came here for. Between your haphazardly taped posters and handmade streamers, he doesn’t find anything, so instead, he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, exhales through his nose, then finally says:
“That thing you asked me.”
Your stomach drops. Of course. You should’ve known that was why he was here.
Your fingers tighten around the book, but you shake your head quickly. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry if I made you–”
“You think I can?” he asks, huffing.
You frown. “Think you can what?”
His jaw tenses, and when he speaks again, it’s lower. Almost cautious. “Forget it.”
Your breath catches slightly.
He shrugs, but it’s not casual. It’s forced. “Ain’t exactly somethin’ you just let go of.”
Your chest feels too tight all of a sudden. You can’t quite place the look on his face—something careful, something guarded, like he’s trying not to let on that it’s been sitting in the back of his head since you said it. What went through his mind when you asked him?
You shift on your cot, swallowing. “Daryl, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
His gaze flickers, just barely. “Yeah?”
You nod, but something in the way he’s looking at you makes your throat dry out. He still doesn’t seem convinced.
“You think that’s what I am?” His voice is quiet, but there’s an edge there, frustration starting to rise in his voice. “Some kinda animal? The kind of man who would kill someone with–” he shakes his head slightly, jaw clenching. “You think I’m like that?”
The realization hits you hard. Your stomach twists. “Daryl, no,” you say quickly, sitting up straighter. “That’s not—”
He shakes his head again, looking at the floor. “Wouldn’t blame ya.”
Your heart kicks against your ribs. “That’s not what I meant.”
Daryl exhales, folding his arms over his chest, still avoiding your eyes. “Then what did you mean?”
You hesitate. Because now he’s looking at you. Not guarded, not distant—just waiting.
Your fingers press into the book in your lap. This is your chance to brush it off. Laugh it away. But you can already feel the heat creeping up your face, and Daryl is still standing there, still waiting, and if you don’t say it now, he’s just going to keep thinking the worst.
You shift slightly. “I meant…” Your throat feels tight. “I meant in bed.”
Daryl blinks.
His whole body stiffens, like his brain short-circuited, like the words hit him sideways and he can’t quite recover. His face is already turning red, slow at first, then creeping all the way up to his ears.
Your own face burns, and you clear your throat, pushing through the embarrassment. “I meant—if you’d ever choked someone in bed. With your arms.”
A silence falls over the room. A long, unbearable silence.
Daryl shifts, dragging a hand over his mouth. He scratches the back of his head, looks anywhere but at you.
Finally, he exhales, mutters, “Jesus,” under his breath, then huffs out a quiet, almost nervous laugh.
Your stomach clenches. “I know. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
He shakes his head, rubbing a hand over his face. “That’s—uh. That’s what ya meant?”
You nod quickly, still burning. “Yeah.”
Daryl looks at you for a second. His fingers flex slightly at his sides, like he’s thinking too hard about where to put them.
Then, after a long pause—his voice comes out quieter.
“You’d want me to?”
Your stomach drops.
Your eyes snap to his. “What?”
Daryl shrugs, but it’s forced, like he’s trying to play off how red his face still is. “I dunno. Just—” His mouth twitches slightly, like he can’t believe he’s even saying this. “Sounded like somethin’ you were real curious about.”
Your breath catches.
He’s not teasing, not quite—but there’s something in the way he says it, something light, something almost amused. Like he’s surprised at himself, surprised at you, but now that he’s said it, he’s not taking it back.
Your mouth opens, then closes again. Your hands are way too warm.
“I wouldn’t—” you swallow. “I wouldn’t not want you to.”
Daryl huffs out another soft laugh, shaking his head, glancing toward the hall like he’s wondering how the hell this conversation ended up here.
Then he looks back at you, eyes a little sharper now, lips twitching.
The heat in your face flares as he just chuckles under his breath, rubbing at his jaw before he steps back toward the door.
“Get some sleep,” he says, still smirking.
He turns, but not before you catch it—just the slightest flicker of something in his expression.
Something knowing. Something interested.
And when he finally walks away, you can’t do anything except stare at the empty doorway and try to remember how to breathe.
═════════════════════════
The past week has been unbearable.
It’s not like anything has happened, not really. No one has said anything, no lines have been crossed, but the air between you and Daryl hasn’t been the same since that night in your cell.
It’s in the way his eyes catch on you more often now. The way he lingers a little too long before walking away. The way your skin prickles when he’s nearby, too aware of the space he takes up, too aware of how small you feel in comparison.
And now, you’re on another run together.
“Last one went well,” Rick had said, shoving packs toward both of you. “Might as well stick with what works.”
The drive into town is quiet. Neither of you talk much, just like last time, but it’s not the same. There’s a different kind of weight, and you’re grateful that the open road on the motorcycle leaves little conversation to be said over its echoing roar.
When you finally reach an old pharmacy on the outskirts, the sun is starting to climb higher in the sky, heat burning your neck and the pavement glimmering.
Inside, dust clings to everything, thick in the air. It smells stale, like old paper and time left to rot. Shelves are overturned, bottles and boxes scattered across the floor.
You do your job, scanning for anything useful, but your focus keeps slipping.
Because every time you glance up, Daryl is there.
He’s not doing anything different. Not saying anything. Just moving through the space like he always does—quiet, efficient. But somehow, it feels like every single movement is deliberate. Like every shift of muscle under his skin is something you shouldn’t be watching, but you are.
The dust-covered counter at the back of the building gives you something to focus on, something to do besides thinking about the weight of Daryl’s gaze. You hop over the counter and crouch down, scanning the lowest shelf, rifling through half-empty boxes of medication, checking for anything still worth taking back.
A prickle of awareness crawls up the back of your neck.
It’s not the usual kind of awareness you get on a run, not the instinct that tells you someone—or something— dangerous is lurking nearby. It’s different. Warmer. Closer.
When you stand, a bottle of pills in your hand, you nearly jump out of your skin.
Daryl is right there, barely a foot away, standing between you and the only way out.
Your breath stutters. He doesn’t usually get this close without reason.
He’s blocking the exit, but it doesn’t feel like he’s trapping you—it feels like he’s stopping himself from walking away. His weight shifts between his feet, his arms twitch like they want to cross, but he doesn’t move, just watches you with something unreadable in his eyes.
Your fingers tighten around the bottle in your hand. “Wha—what’s up?”
Daryl doesn’t answer at first. He just looks at you, quiet and considering, something simmering beneath the surface. His teeth catch against the corner of his lip for a second, his fingers flex at his sides, but it’s like he still hasn’t worked out how to say whatever it is that’s sitting heavy on his chest.
Then he exhales through his nose and mutters, “Can’t stop thinkin’.”
His voice is rough, like the words have been stuck in his throat all day.
Your pulse jumps. “Thinking... about what?”
He shifts again on uneven footing, glancing toward the counter before dragging his gaze back to you. The moment stretches, thick enough to smother, before he finally speaks again.
“Since last time,” he mutters, voice quieter now. Your stomach flips. He shakes his head, almost to himself. “You got me all fucked up, girl.”
It’s not frustration, not really—it’s more like exhaustion, like he’s tired of pretending that something between you hasn’t changed. And when he steps forward, closing the last bit of space between you, your body reacts before your brain catches up.
Your back hits the wall behind you.
The old metal shelving is cool against your skin, a sharp contrast to the heat rolling off him. He’s so close now, close enough that you catch the faint scent of pine and sweat clinging to him, close enough that every nerve in your body locks up, unsure whether to tense or melt.
His arms come up, hands bracing against the metal on either side of you, and suddenly you can’t look anywhere but at him.
Your breath feels too shallow.
Daryl dips his head slightly, breath warm against your cheek, and you hear the way he inhales, slow and deep, smelling the remnants of the apple shampoo you used days ago.
“S’not like I haven’t thought of ya before.”
A shiver runs down your spine, and your lips part, but you don’t know what to say. You can barely think straight with him this close, his voice this low. He smells of musk and leather and summer sunshine, something distinctly masculine and Daryl all at once. His words sink in, heavy and real, and before you can even process them, he huffs a quiet breath, shaking his head against the side of yours.
“Thought of ya a lot, actually.”
Your stomach twists, heat flaring under your skin.
Daryl pulls back just enough to look at you, and that’s when you see it—the way his pupils are blown, the way his breath comes slow and measured like he’s still holding something back. His jaw is tight, his fingers flex slightly against the metal, and you don’t know whether he’s waiting for permission or for you to push him away.
“Say somethin’,” he murmurs, voice rough like gravel in your ears. “Please.”
You reach up then, your hand trembling slightly as your fingers brush along his jaw, skimming over the uneven scruff growing in patches on his face. He exhales, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as you trace up along his cheekbone, down the side of his neck, feeling the tension there, the way his pulse beats strong beneath your fingertips.
“I think of you a lot too,” you finally manage to say, and it’s barely louder than a whisper.
His eyes open, still blown wide as they flicker between yours, then drop to your lips. His breath is slow, measured, like he’s forcing himself to hold back.
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” you breathe. It’s more than just a response—it’s permission, it’s consent, letting him know that whatever he’s thinking, whatever’s been running through his mind, you want it too.
And like you’ve just cut the cord that’s been wound too tight between you, he pushes forward, his lips crashing into yours with urgency.
You’re surprised just how soft his lips are, how gentle he tries to be, but the way he moves is anything but hesitant. There’s no testing, no waiting—he’s done holding back, done second-guessing. He kisses you like he’s been starving for it, like it’s something he’s wanted for too damn long, and you can’t help but act in equal fervor.
Your fingers tighten against his jaw, then slide up into his hair, gripping, pulling. He groans into your mouth, the sound low, wrecked, sending a sharp pulse of heat straight through you. His hands move without restraint now, gripping at your waist, fingers pressing into your hips, pulling you closer like the space between you is unbearable.
You barely register the sharp clatter of bottles knocked from the shelves as your back presses harder against the metal. Daryl doesn’t seem to care. If anything, the mess spurs him on, makes him more reckless, more desperate.
He kisses you deeper, tongue sliding against yours in a way that makes your legs weak, makes your stomach tighten. He’s breathing hard, fingers digging into your sides, body pressing fully into you now, until there’s nothing between you but heat and friction.
His lips drag from your mouth down to your jaw, then lower, his breath hot as he murmurs against your skin. “Been losin’ my mind over you all damn week.” His teeth catch on the pulse in your neck, not biting, just grazing, making you shudder. “Longer than that, if I’m bein’ honest.”
Your nails bite into his shoulders as he kisses lower, pressing into the spot just beneath your jaw, the one that makes your breath hitch. His hands are everywhere—roaming, gripping, sliding beneath the hem of your shirt. His fingertips brush against bare skin, warm and rough, and you arch into his touch without thinking.
“Daryl…”
He groans at the way you say his name, a quiet, broken sound that sends a deep shudder through his body. He presses his forehead against yours for a second, breath ragged, like he’s trying to steady himself but failing. Then his hands tighten on your waist, lifting you effortlessly onto the counter of the pharmacy.
You gasp softly, but he’s already between your legs, already pulling you flush against him, the heat between your bodies unbearable. His lips are on yours again, claiming, devouring, his hands moving up your thighs, squeezing, gripping like he can’t get enough.
Your fingers tangle in his hair as you kiss him harder, the urgency between you growing into something more frantic, more consuming. His hands slide beneath your shirt, pushing it up and over your head, and you shiver as his palms drag over your ribs, rough and warm.
His mouth leaves yours just long enough to mutter against your skin, voice thick with something wild, something unraveling. “You sure about this?”
Your only answer is to pull him back in, crashing your lips to his, fingers fisting in his shirt as you tug him closer, needing him, needing more.
That’s all he needs. His shirt is gone in the next instant with yours following suit, and the moment the fabric is over your head, his lips are on you again, everywhere. You arch into his touch, heat rolling through you as his mouth works down your neck, trailing over your collarbone, then lower. Each kiss leaves behind something electric, something you feel everywhere, and when he drags lower still, down onto your bare chest, his lips and teeth and tongue worship everywhere but where you want him most.
Your breath hitches, your hands restless, gripping at his arms, his shoulders, his hair—anywhere you can reach, anywhere you can pull him closer. He’s between your legs now, his body solid, burning against yours, his hands gripping your thighs, fingers flexing like he’s holding himself back.
You look down at him, ready to beg, but the sight of him wrecks you.
Daryl between your legs, his lips on your skin, mouth open, breath warm as he stares at you like he’s never seen anything like you before.
Any coherent thought vanishes the moment his lips close around your nipple.
A breathless moan leaves your lips as his tongue flicks over it, hot and slow, sending a deep ache curling low in your stomach. His rough fingers knead your other breast, rolling and pinching your sensitive skin in just the right way, his touch deliberate, like he’s learning you, like he’s memorizing every reaction.
You arch into him, pressing closer, needing more, but he keeps the pace slow, like he’s savoring every second, like he wants to soak in every feel of your body against his.
His tongue swirls over the sensitive bud, lips tugging gently before he soothes it with another slow flick, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. His other hand stays firm on your breast, rolling, kneading, fingers rough with callouses as he works you over with slow, steady intent. It’s almost too much, yet not enough, and you feel yourself tilting between the two sensations, every nerve in your body locked onto the way he’s touching you, kissing you, like he never wants to stop.
You’re barely aware of your own sounds, the quiet gasps, the soft moans, the way your hands dig into his shoulders, trying to pull him closer, needing him closer. His mouth moves lower, lips dragging down your stomach, his hands sliding along your sides, gripping your waist like he’s grounding himself.
Then, just when you think he’s going to keep going, he stops.
He pulls back just enough to look at you, chest rising and falling, lips slick and parted. His hands squeeze at your waist, thumbs brushing slow over your skin, and he swallows, throat bobbing as he exhales through his nose.
“Turn around,” he murmurs, voice wrecked, thick with something dark, something unfiltered.
Your breath catches.
You do as he says, shifting, dropping your feet to the floor and gripping the edge of the counter to steady yourself as you twist in his hold. The air feels even thicker now, hotter, your pulse hammering as his hands slide over your hips, guiding you exactly where he wants you.
His palms press firm against your lower back, tracing down to your waist before his fingers hook into the waistband of your pants. There’s no rush in the way he tugs them down, slow and deliberate, like he’s savoring every new inch of skin he reveals. The scrape of fabric against your thighs sends a shiver rolling through you, and when they finally pool at your ankles, his hands smooth back up, gripping, kneading, pulling you back into him.
A sharp inhale leaves your lips when you feel him press against you, his breath warm at the curve of your neck. His fingers flex at your hips, gripping tight, like he’s still trying to hold himself back, like he’s at war with the need running through him.
“Goddamn,” he mutters under his breath.
You don’t have time to respond before his lips are on your shoulder, teeth grazing your skin, hands gripping you tighter, pulling you flush against him. The heat of him seeps through you, burning into your skin, your body molding against his like you were always meant to fit there.
Then, slowly, his hand slides up.
You barely register the shift before the weight of his arm is curling around your neck, firm but careful, forearm bracing across your throat, holding you in place. The solid strength of his muscles—it’s everything you imagined, everything you tried so hard to ignore when the thought first crossed your mind.
A low, rough chuckle rumbles against your ear.
“This what you wanted, ain’t it?” His voice is gravel, wrecked, thick with something primal as his breath ghosts along your jaw. His hold tightens just slightly, just enough to make you shudder. “My arm around this pretty neck?”
His words send a shudder through you, pooling heat low in your stomach as your hands grip the counter harder. His arm is thick around your neck, a steady weight that makes you dizzy with want, and when he tightens it just slightly, enough to make you feel it, a whimper escapes your lips before you can stop it.
“Yes,” you breathe, voice barely there.
Daryl stills for half a second like he wasn’t expecting you to admit it so easily. Then he makes a noise low in his throat, something rough, something wrecked, and his grip on you tightens.
“Yeah?” he murmurs, his voice thick, warm, almost tender in contrast to how strong he feels behind you. His nose brushes against your jaw, his lips grazing over your pulse as his other hand trails lower, fingers pressing into the soft flesh of your hip. “What a sweet thing you are”
The praise sends a jolt through you, your breath catching, fingers twitching against the counter as he shifts behind you. Then you hear it, a belt coming loose and buckle clattering to the floor with the jeans he was wearing and suddenly you feel him– heavy and thick as he nudges against you, the heat of it pressing right against your slick entrance.
Your whole body tenses, then melts, nails digging into his arm where it rests against your throat.
Daryl lets out a slow, shuddering breath, nipping lightly at the edge of your ear before murmuring, “Christ, barely touched you and you’re all wet. This all for me?” His hips press forward again, slow, teasing, and you let out a quiet whimper, pushing back into him without thinking. His cock notches into you then, and you both let out a sudden gasp.
“That’s it,” he praises, lips pressing against the shell of your ear, his voice low and soothing and coaxing as his cock sinks deeper into you. “You’re so damn good. Feels good, don’t it?”
You don’t think you’ve ever heard him talk like this before, soft and filthy all at once, like he’s pouring everything he has into the way he touches you, the way he holds you. You nod, swallowing hard. “So good, Daryl.”
His breath turns heavier, warmer against your skin as he pulls you back onto him, slow and steady, letting you feel every inch as he buries himself inside you. His grip tightens at your hip, steadying you, holding you exactly where he wants you, but the real weight—the one that sends a full-body shudder through you—is his arm, still firm around your neck. You back arches against him, leaning into the muscles of his forearm as he holds you into the crook of his elbow.
“There you go,” he rasps, his voice strained, wrecked. His hips rock forward again, sinking deeper, stretching you, and a ragged moan slips from your lips. His grip flexes, and he presses a kiss to the side of your neck, lips warm, tongue flicking against your pulse before he nips at it, dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin. “Knew you’d take me so good.”
Your nails dig harder into his arm, fingers curling around his wrist where he holds you, your breath hitching as he starts to move. Slow at first, testing, drawing himself out before pushing back in, each roll of his hips deliberate, each thrust pressing deeper, setting a rhythm that already has you unraveling.
His arm around your neck tightens, just slightly, just enough to make your next breath stutter, to make the heat between your legs coil tighter. His breath is hot against your ear, rough and ragged, the tension in his body coiled so tight you can feel it thrumming through his chest, through the arm braced around your throat.
"Fuck, sweetheart," he groans, his voice raw, nearly pained as he rocks into you. "You don’t even know what you’re doin’ to me."
His hips move with slow precision at first, teasing, working you open, dragging out every sensation like he wants you to feel him, to know that he’s the one making you come apart like this. His fingers dig into your hip, pulling you back onto him, the blunt head of his cock pressing deep with every thrust.
"Been thinkin’ about this," he murmurs, his teeth grazing the shell of your ear. "Bout how tight you’d feel, how fuckin’ perfect you’d take me. You feel that, baby?" He drives into you harder then, pushing you flush against the counter, stealing your breath with the sheer force of it. "Feels better than I ever imagined."
Your nails claw at his arm, breath ragged as his grip tightens just slightly around your neck, just enough to hold you there, to keep you at his mercy. His hips snap into you then, harder and faster now that you’ve adjusted to the sheer stretch of his cock.
"Shit," he groans, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against your jaw, sucking at the delicate skin before biting down, his voice going strained. "You like this, don’t ya? Bein’ held like this? Wrapped up in me, nowhere to go."
You whimper, pushing back into him, chasing the heat, the pressure, the way he’s unraveling you piece by piece.
His free hand slides down, dipping between your legs, his fingers finding you slick and swollen, rubbing slow, purposeful circles that make your knees shake.
"Fuck, look at you," he mutters, pressing his forehead to the side of your head, his breath coming harder now. "Gettin’ all worked up, takin’ it so damn well." His fingers flick over your clit, pressing just right, and you let out a broken moan. "That’s it, baby. Let me hear you. Been dreamin’ ‘bout these sounds."
His thrusts grow rougher, deeper, and the tension in your belly coils tight, too tight, everything building.
Daryl feels it.
"Yeah," he breathes, his voice shaking now, wrecked with how good you feel around him. "I know, sweetheart. Feels like your body’s beggin’ for it, huh?" His lips drag over your jaw, his hips pounding into you now, chasing that high. "Wanna cum all over me, don’t ya?"
The coil snaps at his words, white-hot and blinding as his arm tightens, stealing the breath from you completely. Your entire body goes taut as pleasure crashes over you, so sharp and overwhelming as your lungs scream for air. Your walls flutter around him, squeezing tight, and Daryl groans deep in his chest, his rhythm going sloppy, erratic.
"Shit, you’re milkin’ me, baby," he groans, his fingers moving to grip your hips, "Goddamn, you feel like fuckin’ heaven."
He holds you, hips pinning you against the counter as he buries himself deep, shuddering against you as he spills inside you.
His hold around your neck finally eases, his hand smoothing over your collarbone, his lips pressing soft, lingering kisses against the side of your neck as both of you come down together.
"You alright?" His voice is quieter now, rough around the edges, but there’s something tender in it, something real.
You exhale shakily, your body still humming from the aftershocks, a slow, blissed-out smile creeping across your lips. "Yeah. That was… that was so hot."
Daryl huffs out a small, breathless laugh, pressing a lingering kiss against the side of your neck. His hands keep roaming, slow and absentminded, smoothing over your waist, tracing lazy circles along your hips, like he doesn’t want to let go just yet.
"Yeah?" He nuzzles into your shoulder, his lips grazing your damp skin. "Ain’t never tried it before." His voice is warm, a little smug, but softer than before, like he’s still coming down from it too.
You hum, stretching slightly against him, still pressed chest to back. "Me neither. Somethin’ about you, Dixon."
Daryl makes a sound deep in his throat, something pleased, something almost knowing. His fingers tighten just slightly at your hip, his lips brushing the curve of your jaw before he murmurs, "Ain’t gonna be the last time, neither."
“Promise?” you chuckle, turning in his arms to snake your hands around his neck.
Daryl smirks, slow and lazy, his breath warm against your skin as he tilts his head, letting your fingers slip into his hair. His hands slide lower, resting at the curve of your back, holding you against him like he has no intention of letting go.
"Yeah," he murmurs, voice rough but sure. "Promise."
His lips find yours again, softer this time, slower, like he’s savoring it, like he’s already thinking about the next time, about how he’ll take his time with you, about all the things he wants to do.
#the walking dead#daryl dixon#twd daryl#daryl#the walking dead daryl#daryl x reader#daryl twd#daryl fanfiction#daryl one shot#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x you#daryl x you#daryl x reader smut
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Sylus is a proud man. He's got both the strength and the influence to back up his confidence. He knows better than anyone how powerful he is, that's why he never hesitates about anything in his life. When he wants something then he simply has to find a way to obtain it, it's always been as simple as that.
Except, it wasn't like that with you.
You were something that couldn't be placed into a category since the day he met you many, many moons ago.
You were the person who changed everything he was so sure he didn't need to understand and taught an old dragon how to fly by making his heart soar higher than he could ever reach.
But the rule about flying is that the higher you go, the harder the fall is bound to be. And oh did he fall hard.
Still, he could grit his teeth and bear the pain if it meant he would, some day, find you again. In the meantime, he would search for new things to share with you and make himself stronger, better for you.
Sylus is a strong man, but his heart shatters as easily as thin glass. He glues together the pieces each time, well enough that he can go another day without anyone seeing through the cracks, but never quite whole.
There's a room he never allows anyone to catch as much as a glimpse of what lays inside where he keeps the most important piece of his heart.
For the years spent apart, Sylus collected gifts and placed them inside that room he so carefully prepared for you. The piles and piles of wrapped boxes increasing as time continued to pass and he tried to fill the void in his chest by making a home for you.
Sylus never once doubted you'd return to him. However, sometimes, in nights where your birthday weighted heavily in his mind, he'd curl up on the large bed in the room while hugging yet another gift he chose for you. Would you like this one enough to come back to him this time, he wonder.
The tears that escape his crimson eyes are something he'd never acknowledge, being the proud man that he is, but they carried the silent pleas and hopes of a mere lonely dragon, 'Please, my love, come back to me'.
[ Should I do a part 2 for when he meets MC again? 🤔 ]
#im beginning to sense a pattern for when i write Sylus#he's such a lover#i have to make him suffer#just kidding#kind of#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lads#lads angst#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#sylus angst
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I'm going to say that the critics do have to review the marvel movies the same way any of us should be reviewing the tomato pictures being hung in a subway restaurant.
And I'm going to put Duchamp's "Fountain" here to stall.
Marvel movies have become drivel. The initial rollout series had a level of honesty behind the writing that probably most of us could say we genuinely enjoyed the first Iron Man, the Ed Norton Hulk, or even the first Captain America.
The value of critiquing these films comes in seeing what happens when an overwhelmingly corporate agenda comes into play.
Like... you can't say Black Pather was a Bad Movie (as long as you kinda know what's going one [which is a critique in itself]), but with many themes and points in the MCU, a solid point is struck on a hollow anvil.
So any good story-telling is going to be overshadowed by this monolithic shadow of the studio trying to maximize gains, even when the heart of those stories (going back to the golden age comics) generally balk at the concept.
Is the MCU a good story-telling platform? No... Prachett's Discworld handled any given "nobody" wandering in and at least catching on to what is important better than Marvel ever, whether in movies or comics, could ever let someone wander in.
Does the MCU tell good stories?... yeah. They do. And there's a pivot where if you don't care (or aren't obsessively compelled) for context, the movies can kinda be one-offs.
But there's a critique right there...
Because the MCU relies on the US Department of Defense for so much of it's infrastructure, we have to criticize the films for bowing to the state in ways that the actual comic characters wouldn't.
We have to criticize the WWII era super-soldier as an allegory for the Greatest Generation and watch him support the next fascist power. (Winter Soldier fans calm down, I'm playing the Man out of Time angle here.)
But also Iron Man/Tony Stark being the billionaire playboy the Muskovites tried to pretend their boy wonder being a legitimate actor in global diplomacy. Part of critiquing the MCU is the fact that the amount of resources Tony spent in spiffying up his power armor probably could saved thousads of more lives in setting up supply chains and resource distribution that in making the next better Jarvis/Power Armor combo.
Now you're thinking "jesus cargo what the fuck are you going on about?"
but look at that tomato picture, look at that sharp chopped iceberg lettuce.
it's a wall decoration. but it's a wall decoration as you come into the subway. it's meant to make you feel like you're making a healthy decision.
there's a mcdonald's next door but you chose the subway. A BigMac with fries might just be another DC Batman movie. It's familiar, you bite in, knowing that you have to see Bruce's parents die, again. But it's a familar taste. It get's you through the day.
the subway... it's fresh. that's what it tells you at least. the pictures on the wall say so. (not, now that you think of it, that mcdonalds comes off as rotted) and you pick and choose the ingredients you want (i could see Black Panther but I'll choose to see Captain America again) [this is choosing the turkey and mayo on white bread option]
And the turkey with mayo on white bread miggt be tasty enough for you... but probably not for any one else...
but thinking you went with subway makes you better than the mcdonald's crowd is gonna bring up some issues (most likely by your general practitioner)
and neither is inherently better or worse then the other.
as long as you fucking think about what you are feeling and doing.
it's all just a urinal in an art gallery.
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"ONE STEP TWO STEP THREE STEP OW!"
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Synopsis: Young weird Neglected black!reader can't waltz and Bruce won't dance with you but Mr. Oliver Queen can teach you a few moves
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You love galas, like really, really love galas: the architecture of the buildings, which could look Roman or Victorian; the bright chandeliers that glimmer like little stars; the intricate details on every piece of furniture and wall-to-door; the gold accents and trim. It's all just perfect. It feels like you're a princess on a special stage, like you're in a musical and you're the lead star, ready to burst into song after only two lines and do a comedic dance number. The men and women dressed elegantly, with jewels and watches from their great-great-grandparents that they took for granted, replacing heirlooms like loose change. Speaking in posh accents over champagne, they talked about their trips around the world or petty politics, using big words they never used before. It just makes you giggle, but you loved nothing more than the band's music. You'd clap after every performance, and the composer would always take a bow for you. But the thing you loved most of all was the dancing—how the women's dresses would sway as they waltzed and how the men would spin the ladies around adoringly. It was like you were living in the movie Anastasia. And you wanted to dance, to move like them, but you never knew how. It's only been a couple of months since you were integrated into this aristocratic lifestyle, and yet you know every little. Alfred tried to teach you everything there was to being classy, but the old man was far too busy teaching the boys how to behave at galas, so you had to work it out on your own. Alfred taught you a few waltz steps, but not the whole thing, so when it came to dancing, you were hopeless, like a duckling with feet too big for its body. But when the announcer at the gala told the fathers to dance with their daughters, you thought this was your shot—your shot to dance with Bruce, for him to teach you the moves, for you two to bond like you were meant to. I mean, you are his little girl; he should be running to you right about now, ready to put your little feet on top of his as he guides you and teaches you how to waltz. But Bruce doesn't show up. You looked around to see that every little girl and older girl was holding her dad's hand, stepping on his toes, and twirling around like princesses, except you. Everyone had a partner except you. You pushed past the happy fathers and daughters to find him, only to see that he had picked someone else. He was doing the waltz with Cass; they were laughing as she struggled to grasp the steps. You couldn't hear what they were saying due to the chatter of the room, but you knew they were having the time of their lives. But that didn't bother you; you would just wait for your turn, like a kid on a swing set watching the other kids take their merry-old-time. You can just wait and wait and wait, staring at the two. They looked so happy and energetic. You wouldn't lie; you were a tad bit jealous. I mean, you were younger than Cass; you were his little girl; you should have had that dance, not her. But jealousy wouldn't take you anywhere; you just had to wait your turn. They almost looked related; maybe it was the dark black hair or the pale skin. You looked at yourself and began to feel like an outcast. You nervously fixed your dress, pulling at the purple frills. Almost everyone in the blow room was white. Maybe Bruce just didn't want to be seen with you; maybe he was embarrassed. You shook your head— that couldn’t be the reason. Don’t be stupid; just be patient. Yeah, that's right—patient. You can be patient. But as you watched Cass lean her head on his shoulder, it should be you. You saw Bruce place his chin on her hair, and if you weren't jealous before, you certainly were now. You waited long enough, so you walked up to them and tugged on Bruce's suit.
"Hey," you squeaked, your voice sounding like a mouse. You started to fiddle with your fingers.
"I was waiting a bit, and I wanted to know if I could dance with you," you mumbled gently. He looked down at you; blue eyes shining like bright diamonds.
"Not right now, [Name]." He dismissed you like a secretary at Wayne Enterprises.
"But it's a father-daughter dance, and I've been waiting for a while now." Your voice trembled, and you started to feel yourself get angry.
"[Name], you're starting to act childish," he whispered. When he whispered like that, he was trying to hide his anger.
"But I've been waiting for an hour; it's just not fair," You saw him glare at you and stopped talking. You felt yourself shrink, getting smaller and smaller, but you weren't shrinking; you were just getting scared.
You stormed off walking right out the gala you felt angry furious even then you felt a familiar clench in your throat it was strong so very strong it made you want to cough you knew thar feeling better then anyone else you were going to cry so sat you sat on the pearly white steps and let those baby tears flow then you felt a rough hand on your shoulder you yelped out in fear and you swiftly moved away looking up from the ground to see a tall blonde hair man with bright emerald green eyes
"Hey, I don't bite," he chuckled, standing tall in front of you. You still kept your distance and sat down on the steps.
"So why are you out here all alone while everyone's having fun?" he said with a soft smile. You wiped your face and puffed out your chest, trying to look tough, but you were just a girl, and plus, he was a stranger. You shouldn't talk to strangers, but you were lonely, and your "dad" would rather dance with Cass than you.
"I was supposed to have a daddy-daughter dance with my dad, but he's too busy dancing with my older sister," you sniffled, grumbling just a little.
"Oh, you want to dance? Don't you think it's a bit silly?" he asked, and it made you frown.
"It's not silly!" You raised your voice, then lowered it to a whisper.
"It's lovely—the music, the fancy steps. It's all just lovely, like being in a movie," you explained, hugging your knees to your chest.
"Tonight, he was going to teach me how to waltz," you huffed. You heard the blonde man chuckle. How dare he make fun of you! You were about to let out a mean quip when he spoke.
"You can't waltz?" he said, holding back a chuckle and covering his mouth with a hand that looked calloused and rough, as if he'd been hitting drywall.
"Don't laugh!" you whined, annoyed.
"I'm not; it's just super easy to do," the older man said with a smirk.
"Well, I wouldn't know; I've never done it before." You felt a pout coming, and you quickly tried to hide it.
"Wait, you've never waltzed before?" he said, looking at you confusedly. Someone of your status should at least know the basics.
"Never" you answered
"Never ever?"
"Never in history." You felt yourself wanting to cry. Then he smiled down at you and stood up.
"Come on, I'll teach you. There are no perks to being a wallflower." His hands reached out, and you saw the little scars on his hand. With nothing better to do, you took his, and he led you back into the gala. He held your hand and hip gently.
"All you have to do is step in the square," he intruded, and you followed his steps from down to side, to up, and side to down again. Then he twirled you around, making you giggle. You felt like a princess, finally, until you stepped on his foot. He winced, and it made you snort. He gave you a fake glare, the older man smirking.
"You never told me your name?"
"You never told me yours?" he said, and you glared at him.
"I'm [Name], [Name] Wayne," you answered confidently.
"A Wayne?" he said, shocked.
"What's wrong with being a Wayne?" You huffed.
"Nothing. I don't get along with Wayne very well; they tend to get on my nerves," he admitted with a sigh.
"Tell me about it," you agreed.
"Anyway, I'm Oliver Queen's friend. Call me Ollie, and your dad calls me a bastard," and you laughed.
"Nice to meet you, Ollie," you smiled up at him gently. You wondered if you should switch dads like playing cards. Little did you know, Bruce was in the corner seething at the sight of Ollie making you laugh and giggle and twirling you around. He almost broke his champagne glass. He didn't want to cause a scene, but he was close to crashing out and having it be posted on Twitter. He was searching for you, ready to apologize and give you your dance, but there you were, letting someone like Oliver have the dance. He'll make sure to deal with that blonde later.
#x black reader#batfamily x neglected reader#weird!reader#yandere batboys#black!reader#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#x neglected reader#yandere bruce wayne#black fem reader#yandere dc#dc fics#yandere dc x reader
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wc. 1.3k
caleb gives me tiktok bf energy.
btw reader has freckles in this... sorry i hate giving reader physical aspects but i think he'd be a sucker for freckles 😔😔😔
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“this is a trap.”
caleb eyed you warily as you set up your phone, a mischievous smile playing on your lips. he had been through enough of your little social media games to know when something was dangerous territory, and this? this was a minefield.
“you realize there’s no way for me to win this, right?” he muttered, arms crossed.
you grinned. “oh, come on, it’s just for fun.”
“that’s what you said last time,” he grumbled. “then you pouted for an hour because i ranked going shopping together last.”
“okay, but that was an injustice.”
caleb groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose before sighing in defeat. “fine. let’s just get this over with.”
you clapped excitedly, hitting ‘start’ on the ranking filter as the first body part popped up.
1. hands
he barely hesitated. “fifth.”
you gasped. “fifth?!”
he side-eyed you. “do you want me to be honest or not?”
you huffed. “fine. but you better put my legs below that or we’re fighting.”
he smirked. “we’ll see.”
2. legs
he pressed fourth without a second thought.
“caleb.”
“what?” he said, completely unfazed.
you glared at him. “so my hands are below my legs?”
he shrugged. “it’s the truth.”
you groaned dramatically, flopping against the couch. “i don't want to play this with you anymore.”
he chuckled. “too late now.”
3. eyes
his expression softened slightly.
“first,” he said immediately.
your lips parted slightly, caught off guard by how fast he answered. “…really?”
he turned his head slightly, glancing at you, and for a second, his violet eyes held something softer, something quieter.
“yeah,” he murmured. “really.”
your heart did a little flip, but before you could dwell on it, the next body part popped up.
4. lips
caleb exhaled, staring at the screen like it had personally betrayed him.
you smirked. “what, struggling?”
“not struggling,” he muttered, pressing second after a long pause.
you raised an eyebrow. “so my lips are second to my eyes?”
he shot you a look. “you know how i feel about your lips. but i look into your eyes every day. that has to count for something.”
your cheeks warmed slightly, but before you could let it get to your head, the next one appeared.
5. collarbone
without hesitation, he pressed ninth.
you gasped.
“ninth?!”
“what?” he said, completely unbothered.
“my collarbone is at the bottom?!”
“there are ten slots,” he reminded you. “it could be worse.”
“oh, you're so sleeping on the—”
before you could finish, the next one appeared.
6. voice
his eyebrows twitched.
he pressed third.
you blinked. “…my voice?”
he shrugged. “it’s nice. i like hearing you talk.”
your heart did another weird little flip. you quickly masked it with a smirk. “so what you’re saying is, my voice is sexier than my hands?”
he groaned. “i regret this already.”
7. stomach
he looked at the screen for a second before pressing sixth.
you narrowed your eyes. “explain.”
he took a sip from his drink. “it's nice to nap on.”
you flushed slightly. “caleb.”
he smirked but didn’t say anything else.
8. back
he hummed in thought before pressing eighth.
you relaxed slightly. “okay, that’s fair.”
he arched a brow. “oh, so you accept this ranking, but not the collarbone?”
“obviously.”
he shook his head. “ridiculous.”
9. neck
he pressed seventh.
you side-eyed him. “you’re thinking of something, aren’t you?”
“not at all.”
“liar.”
he just smirked.
10. freckles
he pressed first.
your breath hitched.
“…wait.” you furrowed your brows. “but you already put my eyes first.”
he exhaled, shaking his head. “no. i take it back. freckles should be first.”
he tried to tap the screen to change it, but the filter locked in the ranking.
caleb stared at the screen. then at you. then back at the screen.
“…you planned this.”
you burst out laughing. “i didn’t! but i knew you’d try to change it!”
he groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “this is exactly why i said this was a trap.”
you grinned. “so, my freckles win?”
caleb sighed, rubbing his temples.
“…yeah,” he muttered. “they win.”
you leaned in, smirking. “told you this would be fun.”
“for you, maybe,” he grumbled, but the way he was watching you—like the freckles scattered across your cheeks had just ruined him completely—told a different story.
#fluff#caleb#caleb fluff#caleb x mc#caleb x reader#caleb x you#l&ds caleb#l&ds fluff#l&ds x reader#lads caleb#lads fluff#lads x reader#lads#love and deepspace caleb x reader#love and deepspace caleb#lnds caleb#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#l&ds
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I do think there is an interesting tangential argument to be made about knowing the geography of your genetics (as someone who's done both mainstream ancestry kits).
For context, I don't know who my biological father was, and at my age, I likely never will. (I knew my mother but she wasn't around long enough to really impart any sort of cultural identity to me IMO.) And I definitely agree with the argument that identity is cultural more than it is genetic.
Because I was essentially adopted and raised by my adoptive parents, I've had a long-standing concern about genetic risk factors. I can't rely on close relatives (save for one) for reference. Now, I should have probably gone to an actual doctor for this, but insurance issues (and age, at the time) notwithstanding, Ancestry and 23andMe were right there in the store. So we did that, and I knew in a month where my genes came from geographically speaking and what sort of risk factors I might have.
Now, I'm not going to speak to the accuracy or bias of either test (it's almost its own argument), but generally, it's helped me figure myself out. I still am me, with all the frameworks and lessons imparted to me by my adoptive family, but with a clearer picture of what my genetic background is.
I believe that if, and ONLY if, you view these two tests in this manner, there is some merit to them. And I'm not going to fault someone for being generally curious about their genetics (I do think it's cool to know where, regionally, your genes come from). But I'm older now, so I should probably actually talk to my doctor instead of relying on privacy-issue riddled DNA testing companies.
Anyway, side tangent over. Very interesting interview.
This NPR interview with with Angela Saini about how race science never really left the global scientific consciousness is super interesting! I’m gonna read her book!
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