#i do not CARE what people get paid i make the active choice to ignore money at all sporting events
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few good things abt the tennis payscale but one enjoyable thing is that theres no contracts
#well there r contracts for like sponsors n shit but thats secret ish and no one cares LOL#seeing hockey fans bicker about contracts actually makes me wither and die#you havent lived in online sportsworld until youve say through endless discourse abt pay#i do not CARE what people get paid i make the active choice to ignore money at all sporting events#i understand thst the sports are formatted very differently and thus each payscale makes sense. but i dont care for either sport#i only care abt contracts if it means my guys are gonna leave my team#the only thing that i would change abt the tennis format aside from equal pay for each tour#is a minimum base salary so the lower ranked players dont get fucked over#tennis#hockey#<- in a sense
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It couldn’t be more clear Helaena asks Aemond about the price he pays not because she’s mad he burned her husband (her reaction to Aegon’s return is flat and uncaring, they have never displayed any affection towards each other) but because she is serving as his conscience here. His lack of response is a clear answer, but we are supposed to understand she is playing the role of the audience and asking this to him. Not for herself or Aegon or even Alicent. But if they admit that they have to admit there is no canon relationship between Helaegon
Holy shit BALLSSSS THANK YOU! It's like I'm constantly shaking my head going? What show are yall watching?
Also Ewan has discussed this scene recently and confirmed that yea, Helaena is asking Aemond about himself. It has nothing to do with anyone's suffering but what is about to occur to him? Aemond subconsciously knows that the choice he is making is to basically destroy the idea of him as an 'honourable' man. Something which we've seen him strive for not because he IS honourable but because he wants the validation he feels be might get from it. Ewan has said that Aemond is in need of love, comfort and attention, to be seen, to be respected and validated. He knows he isn't going to get that from his mother via playing the role of the dutiful son, so what does he do? Fuck it all then. Fuck my brother, fuck the Madame, fuck Alicent, fuck everyone and everything who will make me weaker/hurts me/doesn't see me, I want the throne and I will get it no matter the price to myself.
Ewan talks about Aemond and Helaena being on the outside which is why they share an affinity. That they have been sidelined for Aegon. Aemond who is dealing with the fact he has been tormented by Aegon, disfigured and has also been dutiful his entire life; is proactive in proving himself superior to his brother; thus he happily takes the opportunity to seize the throne because he feels he is owed it. He doesn't need to reconcile with hurting Aegon, he wants to hurt him. He is reconciling and accepting what he is going to lose by doing this.
Thus why it's Helaena who even asks him this, because she is the only one who has a similar trauma to Aemond. She is looking at him throw everything to the wind and is going "Is the cost of the throne worth what you will lose?" And it's a neutral question for her, but yes she is tensed/stressed because she is watching Aemond drive himself into darkness. Again, Alicent the whole episode has been saying "My son is becoming a fucking sociopath, why is no one doing anything?"
THATS what Helaena is alluding to. The price of the throne is Aemond's own soul.
Helaena has been martially raped, used as a broodmare, ignored by her family, dismissed and invalidated/ made to feel deluded - retreats within herself, is highly observant of other people, experiences premonitions of the future/experiences the past, present and future all at once, which is completely overwhelming and has no understanding of the things she sees until they HAPPEN; warns others of it/gives illusions to it. She warned them of Meleys. She warned Aegon of B&C and now she warns Aemond of the price he will pay. Which happens in S1 where she LITERALLY SAYS "HE'LL HAVE TO CLOSE AN EYE" in order to claim Vhagar. That was the price he paid - and Aemond pays it. She is doing it again, warning him of what he will lose. Because why would she ask him "Was it worth hurting Aegon?" When the answer is obviously... yes... not only does Helaena not care about Aegon, she knows Aemond fucken hates him and actively sought out to kill him? So why would she ask him if the throne is worth killing Aegon, when the answer is yes because Aemond literally happily attempted to kill him already? She knows Aemond is willing to do it. She is questioning the sacrifice of his morality. Not if the wellbeing of Aegon is worth it?
She is warning Aemond of his own future, she is absolutely serving as his own consciousness in a way, asking if this will all be worth what he is going to lose in the process. And for Aemond, just like his eye - he is going to accept the price for the throne. To be in charge, to get what he feels is owed, since he knows he can't get it any other way.
Mfs are so insistent on characterisation between Helaena and Aegon which just is not there because they can't fathom the idea that their ship is based on the fact that Aegon and Helaena is not a relationship which exists beyond two ships passing in the night. That's literally it. Helaena and Aemond have had more memorable moments of connection and they've not even exchanged more than one line of dialogue in the entire series to one another.
#hotd#aemond targaryen#targaryen#house of the dragon#got#aemond one eye#daemon targaryen#rhaneyra targaryen#daenerys targaryen#helaemond#helaena targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#helagon
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PICK A CARD: MESSAGES FROM THE COUNCIL OF LIGHT
LEFT : 111 ; RIGHT: 333
Disclaimer:
🪈Disclaimer in highlights applies here
🪈Take what resonates and leave the rest
🪈No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances
🪈All personal readings are paid. DM to book a personal tarot session.
🌙111🌙 “Better to wait than force things to happen” “I want my life to be beautiful, wild and filled with things I never imagined so forgive me if I ignore everything you think is important and get right to it” “Stop Complaining and Start Doing” “Fulfill your duties towards your body, self, and family, even society, do your part.” Patience is virtue that needs to be restored within you. You want your life to look a certain way, beautiful and wild and like your Pinterest mood baords and for so long you haven’t lived that, you have been engulfed with the noise and drama of the outside world, you waited so long for things you didn’t want, why not be patient for the things that you do, it takes time to undo the social conditioning and live truly free, give yourself some grace. It is not your job to be likeable, your job is to be yourself and the right people will find you. The council of light is reminding you that while you are on your way to fulfil your dream, do not forget to give back. A lot of being gave you comfort in your journey. I can see someone talking to street or colony dogs, and just sitting beside them and telling them about stories of their life, and playing, don’t forget them when things get better, they listened to you when you were in need. Do not forget your roots, sometimes we fly so high we can’t pinpoint where our home is from the clouds, do not forget your home, where you came from, your lineage, your villages, these things matter. They are your anchor. Connect with your loved ones, do some gardening. For some of you: Rescue Animals, help them in any way you can. Comment ‘111’ to claim. 🌙 DM TO BOOK A TAROT READING 🌙 🌙333🌙 “You came with nothing, you will go away with nothing” “You are not aline no matter how you perceive it to be. There is someone praying for you” If you are facing difficulty in making a choice: the council of light says: Make the choice that sets you free, that makes you feel lighter. Check your feelings, does it feel a weird hesitation or disappointment or sadness, even though logically it makes sense? Do not choose that path, please! Let lightness, freedom and joy be your guide in making decisions and you’ll be happy how things turned out in the end. Love yourself more, your day starts when you wake up so create a solid morning routine for yourself, take care of what you are consuming in different aspects like food, water, virtual content, engaging in conversations, everything. Assess this, eat good food that gives you energy and life, engage in manful conversations instead of gossip. Everyday for an hour do something you love, actively. Like you like to draw? Transfer half the time you spend following art content into making your own drawings, they don’t have to be the best, just start doodling even. You have all that you need to become wealthy in the most holistic sense, use them, There is no harm in writing in a pretty journal but you can just start journaling in any dairy whatsoever, sometimes just taking the first step is good enough, do not go in the mindset that I don’t have this so I can’t do this, use the resources you have currently. Comment ‘333’ to claim. 🌙 DM TO BOOK A TAROT READING 🌙
- EL TAROT
#pick a card#free tarot#pac tarot#pick a photo#pick an image#pac reading#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a picture#future spouse#future spouse pick a card#shakti#tantra#navratri#guidance#tarot pick a card#lord shiva#mahadev#hindu#spirituality#divination#divine feminine#the divine masculine#manifesting#manifesation#333#1111
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Cannon divergence- Buck/Eddie??
I hope you liked this one!
.⋆。°✩ Eddie becomes a paramedic instead of a firefighter but his and Buck's paths still cross. ✩°。⋆.
The worst part, Buck thinks, laying on the sidewalk struggling to breathe, is that he's not even on the clock. At least when the universe decides to hand him his ass on a silver platter, he's getting paid for it (if he ignores Abby, and Taylor, and Ali...). Still, it could be worse; Bobby can't get mad at him for getting sideswiped by a car pulling a kid out of the road.
Side on fire and wind still knocked out of him, Buck makes the choice to stay on his back. It's a decision based upon years of training and the fact he thinks he'll lose his breakfast if he tires getting upright. The people in his periphery are making a scene, calling for help, but none of them are actively checking on him, and he's too focused on breathing to hear what they're saying or care.
Just when Buck thinks of closing his eyes and passing out until an ambulance arrives, a small hand lands clumsily on his non-screaming shoulder, and his attention is forced to shift, eyes sliding unbidden to the side.
A tear-stained face, messy honey-brown curls, skewed glasses. It's the kid Buck had seen tipping sideways into the busy street, his crutches catching in a half-hidden crack in the pavement, sending him topping over. Buck does his best to smile around his grimace.
"Hey buddy," he hopes there's no blood on his teeth. He hopes he's not bleeding at all.
"I'm sorry," the kid says, light eyes wet and redrimmed, his bottom lip trembling hard. He's patting Buck like a cat that needs to be soothed. It twists up Buck's heart, and he wishes he could sit up to comfort him, show that, really, this isn't the worst he's been put through the wringer, but he can't. Buck does try to shrug, though, and bolstered by the need to not be the reason the boy cries even harder, he manages a better grin.
"Hey, don't be. It's not your fault-"
"Chris!" Much louder than the crowd still hanging around the edges, a voice breaks over the murmurs, and Buck feels the kid's (Chris's, he's sure) hand squeeze him hard.
"Daddy!" Chris calls back, and Buck watches from his position on the ground as, at first, a shadow falls over both him and the boy, and then a man comes into view, kneeling over Buck, but whose every bit of focus is on Chris.
"Christ, Mijo, what the hel- what happened?"
"Dad, you gotta help him. He got hurt pulling me away from the car. You gotta-"
They're talking over each other, and Buck feels as in the middle as he is, but the awkwardness is quickly swiped away when Chris's father tips his head down, blocking out the midday sun, and Buck is hit full force by how beautiful the man is. Soft brown eyes edged with the tease of crow's feet and smile lines, thick dark brows to match his swept-back hair, and the promise of stubble at the edge of his jaw. Buck is struck with an immediate attraction so powerful it rivals the impact from the Tesla that he's pretty sure sped away from the scene.
"-ir, sir, can you hear me?"
Buck blinks back into the moment, nods, and immediately regrets it.
"Oh shit, don't do that, okay, you need to keep yourself still until the paramedics arrive."
"No, I-" Buck swallows, trying to clear his suddenly tight through, "I know. Firefighter." He'd point to himself, but Chris is still clinging to his undamaged arm, and the idea of shifting just to make it clear he's not delirious is both daunting and directly in opposition to his claim of knowing better.
The man smiles, and it's devastating how it brightens every corner of his face.
"Good to know. Someone's called 9-1-1, so I'm going to make sure you're alright until the ambulance gets here. I'm a paramedic." He tacks on the last bit like an afterthought, like he should make it clear that the gently probing hand suddenly on Buck's flank isn't for nefarious purposes.
"You sure you're not an angel?" It slips out, easy like breathing still isn't, and Buck can't find it in himself to be cowed at having said it.
The man, whose gaze had slid down to watch as his fingers worked, snaps his eyes back to Buck's face, expression wide with surprise, and Buck hears a soft giggle from Chris.
"Uh, no," he says, a satisfying splash of color coming onto his cheeks, "Just Eddie the paramedic."
Eddie. It fits. Buck likes it. He also likes how Eddie's clearly trying to tuck his bashful smile away and get back to the task of ensuring that Buck isn't bleeding internally.
"Coulda fooled me," Buck can't help himself, rewarded again by Chris's laughter, finally done with crying, it seems, and Eddie's soft chuckle and headshake. He flusters easily, and Buck can't help imagining pushing his luck just to see how much he can get the rosy color to spread over his tan complexion.
He doesn't get the chance, and before Eddie can reply, the sound of the ambulance is there, and then two paramedics descend upon them, one going to squat beside Eddie.
"Diaz, thought you were off duty today."
Eddie rolls his eyes, and Buck wants to comment that, really, are civil servants ever off duty? But then the other paramedic waves a penlight in his eyes and starts asking him questions, carefully dislodging Chris from his place by Buck's shoulder so she can get a collar around Buck's neck.
When they leave and return with the stretcher, Eddie helps load Buck on, and Chris fists his hand in Buck's shirt when they try to wheel him toward the flashing vehicle.
"Chris, we have to let them take Buck to the hospital," Eddie says, coming around to his son's side. Buck smiles, something twinging in his chest that has nothing to do with being jostled forward. He opens his mouth to assure Chris he'll be okay, that as long as Chris is fine, it's all good, but Chris beats him to it as he turns his face up to his father and asks, "But can't we go with him?"
The request floors Buck, and it seems to leave Eddie equally stumped. Chris uses the opportunity to continue.
"It's my fault he's hurt. I want to make sure he gets to the hospital okay."
Something flashes in Eddie's eyes, something that implies a story underlining Chris's words. If he could, Buck would wheel himself into the ambulance and away from what probably needs to be a private conversation. He can't, though, so he sits silent, trying to communicate to Eddie with his eyes that, really, they've already done enough, Chris with his getting Buck's help and Eddie putting up Buck's brazen flirting.
The female paramedic at the head of the stretcher, amused and unhelpfully, adds, "We've got the room."
Between that and Chris's blatantly pleading pout, Buck watches Eddie sigh and momentarily hang his head before he looks back to Buck, smiling small and crooked.
"Only if you don't mind the company. It would... it would mean a lot to him."
Buck wonders if he plays his cards right; he might be able to get that 'him' to become 'us.' He smiles.
"The more the merrier."
Ficlet Bingo! (Still Squares Left!)
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One More Time (Julieta x Fem!Reader) Pt 10
As always I am not a native Spanish speaker, so if I butchered a sentence or word let me know so I may correct it.
This one ended up being super long so I hope it’s something you all find worth reading.
Part 10 of 20
Pt 11
I did not make the gif.
Things to note: Julieta is a widow. Reader is 30. Talks about depression early on.
Please don’t tear it apart too harshly!
You had closed shop early and went home to bathe and change. The last time you went to casita was under poor conditions so you were looking forward to a pleasant evening. You wore one of your nicer dresses, it was a little shorter and the neckline a little deeper, and instead of having your hair tied back in your trademark bandana you had elected to curl it and let it fall down past your shoulders. You rarely wore it down but didn’t have the heart to cut it short.
On your way over you stopped and purchased a bottle of wine, feeling rude arriving empty handed. Your good mood was quickly soured when Luís’ voice cut through to you.
“Y/N amor! I’m so happy to see you! You look beautiful tonight!”
You clenched your teeth and didn’t turn to face or acknowledge him. You paid for your wine and left the store.
“Amor, did you not hear me?” Luís stated, following you out of the store and you continued to ignore him.
“Are you setting us up a special meal to rekindle our love with? You always knew how I loved my wine.”
You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him, fuming at his statement.
“How dare you! You made your choice and you WILL stop bothering me. This is for the Madrigal family. Now before I choose to involve others in your stalking you will leave me alone!” You declared and turned on your heel.
“Oh you’re still spending time with Julieta? I thought that was a one time thing.” He said, following you.
“It is none of your concern who I spend time with.”
“No woman of mine is going to hang out with some old widow. People might get the wrong idea.” He said, bumping into you when you froze in your tracks. You immediately turned on him pointing in his face.
“How dare you speak of her that way! She is better than you’ll ever be, she actually cares about how I feel unlike you! I am NOT your woman! I will NEVER be your woman again!” You hissed.
Oh you wanted to slap him. More than you had ever wanted to slap a person before. His chuckle infuriated you further.
“If I didn’t know better I’d think you liked the widow, but that would be a foolish thought wouldn’t you agree?” He asked, his tone dropping significantly.
You paused, the way his voice dropped made you nervous. You made a quick assessment before tossing your concerns to the side.
“It’s none of your concern who I like. You gave up that right six years ago. Leave and don’t ever approach me again.”
You quickly turned and left before anymore of his words could reach you.
Both of you were unaware of the fact that there was one certain Madrigal that had overheard your conversation from her balcony. Dolores had been quick to pick up on your affections for her tía and you all but admitted it to the creep. She couldn’t be happier over the fact, but she was growing concerned that the local playboy was getting ready to do something now that he knew it. Now wasn’t the time for worries though, now was the time to have a little fun at dinner. She was merciful in your store, but la casa Madrigal was her playground and she was going to make you squirm.
—-
Julieta was running all around the kitchen preparing dinner as usual when she heard a knock echo into the kitchen. She had half a mind to ignore it and let someone else answer the door, but when she heard it a second time she wiped her hands on her rag and went to the door.
“Y/N! What are you doing here?!” Julieta exclaimed. She hadn’t expected to see you tonight, let alone looking like that.
Your dress was shorter, showing off more of your leg. Your neckline was much lower than she was used to you wearing and she had to actively tell herself to not look down. Your hair that was always pulled back in your bandana was now curled and framing your face, falling down over your shoulders. Her face was immediately pink.
“I’m here for dinner?” You replied holding up the bottle, but the curious look Julieta gave made you tilt your head slightly.
“Did your hermana not tell you? She invited me to dinner last week when she came by the store to interrogate me.”
“She did what?!” Julieta exclaimed. Before the conversation could continue she could smell something burning.
“Dios mio!” She turned on her heel and went to the kitchen with you following her.
You watched her adjust some temperatures on her stove and get back to mixing whatever she had in her bowl.
“Sí, she wanted to know who I truly was.” You said, giggling at the memory.
Julieta refused to admit she was jealous. Jealous that her sister may potentially know more about you than she did. Ever since the incident in her bedroom you really hadn’t shared more about yourself and she wasn’t going to push.
“And what did she learn?” The healer mumbled and turned away, hyper focusing on her stirring.
“Hmm, not much if I’m being frank. We mostly spoke about her.”
Julieta eased on her stirring, relieved that Pepa seemingly knew just as much as her.
“I think she only managed to learn my favorite color before I flipped the conversation.”
“And what color would that be?”
You thought for a moment, watching the woman move around the kitchen and grab different spices. You watched her dress sway as she moved and you smiled.
“I’m very fond of the color blue.”
Julieta smiled to herself as she lowered the heat and turned back to face you.
“And here I thought it would be maroon like your bandana.” Julieta said with a smile. She leaned against the counter watching you.
The way she looked at you made your heart skip a beat and against your better judgment you began to approach her.
“Maroon is nice, I wear it well; but blue is just so pretty in all its different shades.”
Julieta watched as you approached her and couldn’t help but hold her breath the closer and closer you got. Soon you were in her space and her heart had to be loud enough for you to hear.
“For your table.” You said and slipped the bottle of wine from your hands into hers. Your fingers caressed hers softly, the cool feeling of metal grazing your fingers before you were interrupted.
“Señorita Y/N! What are you doing here?”
You pulled away from Julieta and turned to see a smiling Mirabel entering the kitchen.
“Your tía invited me to dinner. I didn’t realize no one was aware of my presence tonight.” You said with a chuckle.
It never occurred to you to outrightly mention it to Julieta. You figured if anyone knew you would be coming it would be the woman cooking.
“I was aware.” A softer voice interrupted.
“Did you know because of tía or because of your gift?” Mirabel asked her eldest cousin. Dolores tapped her chin for a moment.
“Well I did hear mamí invite Señorita Y/N over last week, so let’s say both.”
You watched as the two cousins went back and forth before cutting your eyes to see Julieta scurry away to chill the wine. You watched her carefully and smiled to yourself as she took a moment to collect herself.
“Ah there she is, early just like she said she’d be.” Pepa announced as she entered the kitchen.
“Now Señora, how is it that no one knew I was coming tonight?” You asked, putting your hands on your hips.
“I thought it would be more fun this way.” Pepa said nonchalantly, waving her hand before linking her arm with yours.
“Now come, I’ll give you a tour.” She said and before you could protest the redhead had you out the door.
Julieta bore a deep frown and went back to focusing on the meal.
It was hard to focus on everything Pepa was telling you about the magical house. Your mind kept drifting to Julieta and what you had done in the kitchen. How could you be so foolish to flirt with the woman in her own home! With a woman who still wore her wedding band! If anything you made a fool of yourself, but you couldn’t help but smile a little at the memory.
Pepa loved to talk, so thankfully your silence wasn’t noticed and you were quick to respond to her comments when necessary.
By the time she brought you back to the dining room everyone was seated at a large table. Pepa was quick to slide into her spot next to Felix leaving you to pick between two seats. One next to Julieta and one next to Bruno. Bruno was sweet, you liked him immensely, but he was no Julieta so you took the seat beside her.
The sudden tension in the room was suffocating and all eyes were on you. You shifted uncomfortably in your chair as you looked from Madrigal to Madrigal.
“Is something wrong?”
“You’re sitting in our dad's seat.” Mirabel whispered, leaning in towards you.
The speed in which you jumped from the seat startled most of the family. Casita shifting the tiles to keep you up.
“Lo siento!” You cried out absolutely appalled at what you had done.
“No it’s okay. You couldn’t have possibly known. You can sit there” Julieta said, startled both by your reaction and her own willingness to allow someone to sit in her husband's seat.
Your face was red with embarrassment and your hands instantly went to your dress to twist the fabric.
“No, that seat is too important.” You said and quickly moved to the empty seat beside Bruno. The man offered you a smile and you returned it awkwardly. All eyes were on you and you wanted nothing more than to turn invisible.
“So Y/N you inherited that little book store down the way?” Alma asked, giving you even more attention.
“Sí Señora.”
“Do you have anything an old lady who likes romance novels might enjoy?”
You straightened up and smiled.
“Oh I have a whole aisle dedicated to just that.”
“Well then I’ll have to come down and find something new to read.” She said with a warm smile.
“My door is always open to the Madrigal’s.” You replied.
“So I hear.” She said, causing you to pause mid bite. Julieta tensed up and buried her nerves in the wine you had provided.
“My family seems enamored by the shop.”
She wasn’t wrong. The Madrigal’s had quickly become your most frequented customers.
“I’m just glad I can provide a service everyone seems to enjoy.”
“Some of us more than others, right tía?” Camilo teased.
Julieta wanted to die. Her family wasn’t being at all subtle and it made her wonder what they suspected of her. She was subtle, or at least she thought she had been. Was she really so easy to read?
Your eyes drifted across the table to the boy. You cocked a brow and took note of the dangerous smirk he and his sister seemed to share. So this was the game they wanted to play. Well two or in this case three could play.
“How’s the book you got treating you?” You asked, leaning on your elbows towards the boy.
He immediately paled at the question. He never would have suspected you’d remember who bought what.
“Do I need to get you the next in the series yet?” You asked innocently as the boy began to slouch in his seat.
“No Señorita.” He replied quietly.
“What did you buy?” Mirabel asked with a slow grin forming on her face.
“Nothing!” Shouted Camilo.
“Señorita what did he buy?” Luisa asked, intrigued.
You grinned and leaned forward even more and opened your mouth.
“Don’t you dare!” Camilo cried out and soon all the Madrigal children were in a heated debate over what the boy had purchased.
You leaned back and glanced at Julieta and smiled before bringing the glass up to your lips. Julieta smiled and relaxed, glad that the family’s attention was on someone else.
Unfortunately it didn’t last long and Dolores took control of the situation.
“Señorita, what do you do for fun?” She asked. It wasn’t a question you expected and it caught you a bit off guard.
You thought about it and you really didn’t know what to tell her. Both her and Julieta seemed to be staring a bit harder than everyone else.
“I run my store.” You replied.
“That’s your work. What do you do when you aren’t there?”
“I….” You trailed off for a moment thinking about how to reply.
“I guess I’m always there. I’d be there now if I wasn’t here.” You said and shrugged, Dolores frowning at your answer.
“So you’re telling me unless you are running errands for your store you are there all day every day?”
“Dolores, don't be rude!” Pepa said to her daughter.
“It’s okay she’s not being rude. I guess I never noticed how boring I am.” You joked and sipped the wine. Luisa looked at you curiously and when you caught her eye you winked. Her eyes went wide in understanding.
“Oh I doubt you’re boring. You live in a world of stories where you go on adventures every day.” Isabela said, earning a smile from both you and her mother.
“What a lovely way to put it.” Julieta stated.
“But my mother seems to be joining you on those adventures. She spends every day with you.”
Julieta immediately blushed and looked away. Her family was really doing this to her. Oh she’d definitely get her revenge at a later date, when they all least expected it.
“What better place to slay demons than in a book shop?”
“Excellent point Señorita.” Alma said with a chuckle.
You met Julieta’s gaze and smiled before finishing off your wine. Julieta couldn’t help but return the smile and slightly shake her head. You really did always know what to say.
Julieta watched as in your typical fashion you twisted the conversation and took control back. You targeted everyone. Bruno became animated explaining his rat telenovelas. Mirabel explained her latest sewing creation. Camilo became excited about books on acting you said you had in stock. Pepa and Felix were sharing stories about their wedding which no longer was a sore topic. You indulged Luisa with comments on her new favorite book. You had Dolores gushing over Mariano and Isabela talking about her art. Even little Antonio had an animated conversation about his animal friends that you indulged in. You really were a delightful person.
“Julieta, pay attention.” Alma said, shaking the woman from her thoughts. Julieta blinked and realized everyone was staring at her.
“Lo siento what did I miss?”
“I was just wondering if we could have dessert now?” Antonio asked sweetly..
“Oh sí of course.” Julieta rose and headed towards the kitchen.
“It’s a nice night, let us have dessert out in the garden.” Alma suggested.
The family rose and headed out but you paused. Once alone you grabbed some plates (not accustomed to a magic house clearing the table) and headed into the kitchen.
“Hola.”
Julieta jumped a little at your voice and turned from the fridge to face you. She was quick to spot the plates in your hands.
“Oh you don’t need to do that. Casita helps clear the table.”
As if on cue plates were being magically shifted along the counter tiles towards the sink. How nice it must be to have a house that cleans itself.
“I don’t mind.” You said and placed the plates in the sink. The overwhelming urge to wash them tickled your palms but this wasn’t your house and you had no right to insert yourself into the woman’s kitchen.
#julieta madrigal#julieta madrigal x reader#julieta x reader#julieta x fem reader#pepa x reader#Encanto#One More Time
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Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?
I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.
Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)
Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.
PILE 1
Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun
Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.
The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)
With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.
Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.
The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.
The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.
The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.
The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).
Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).
PILE 2
Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.
Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil
I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.
Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.
The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)
All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.
I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.
*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.
Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.
The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.
The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.
The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?
Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)
PILE 3
Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.
Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.
Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.
Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:
The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?
Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?
Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.
Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.
The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.
The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a picture#tarot reading#pick a pile reading#pac#pac reading#ariesmoontarot
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Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Part Nine (Mycroft Holmes x Reader) SMUT
I am SO sorry for such a big delay between chapters! I’ve just had terrible writer’s block and my mental health has been.. challenging, to say the least! But here’s chapter nine! Sorry if Myc is a little out of character, I didn’t really know how else to write it! This is a shorter chapter but the next few should be longer! And expect some more emotional chapters coming up for when Mycroft finally talks to his parents about Eurus!
Word Count- 3766
Mycroft wasn't entirely sure how long after you had fallen asleep that he had followed suit. He hadn't been planning on falling asleep at all, really; he was rather content simply laying there and thinking over in his mind how he had ended up in this position at all. It was a strange feeling still, feeling the weight of you in his arms, the feeling of your hands bunching in his jumper as though he were your lifeline, the light feeling of your breath skimming the skin of his neck. Strange, and yet welcoming. He was beginning to question why he had never tried harder in seeking this kind of thing out before, but he knew the thought was futile. He wasn't entirely sure he'd have ever wanted to be in this position with anybody else, as cheesy and cliché as he had sounded. He had a reputation to upkeep, an entire persona behind his Iceman nickname, and yet he felt entirely at ease, thawed, if you will, with you.
He had opened his eyes to find his head resting slightly atop yours, facing towards the television that had long since surpassed standby mode and instead remained a dark black. Mycroft couldn't help but focus on the reflection that he could see in its screen, the image of the pair of you laying embraced on the sofa, his hand resting so casually at your back that it could be mistaken for a position that had been practiced for years rather than only a few days. It was nice, he had decided. Nice that things had ended up this way, even if it had taken so many years to get this far. In both his mind and your own, it had honestly felt as though you had been together for far longer; as though it was some unspoken decision between the pair of you that neither of you would take the step to start the relationship, and yet made yourself unavailable for anybody else, cancelled plans to be with the other, enjoyed more meals together than apart. Though of course this was far easier on Mycroft's end, not exactly having many other social dependencies, and a lack of opportunities for such things with other people. Still, he had remained inwardly thankful that you had adhered to the same ideas.
In his own way, he was glad that it had taken as long as it did. It allowed for him to truly know you, far more than any information on a file could give. It let him introduce himself to you properly, allowed for you to truly get to know him, for him to feel comfortable enough around you to lower his walls and drop his public, heartless politician façade. Not that he had much choice in the latter part. You knew from day dot that it was, as you delightfully put, "a load of old bollocks." Though you never once taunted him for it, not really, at least not in a bad way. You just enjoyed teasing from time to time. Mycroft Holmes had always been the kind of man to laugh at the idea of things as trivial as fate, the whole 'being at the right place at the right time', or even luck, always claiming that every event was purely cause and effect. And yet, he found his ever so brilliant mind allowing himself to, for once, divulge into the prospects of it, liking the idea that perhaps the Universe wasn't always so cruel. And with this rarely optimistic thought in mind, Mycroft once again found his arm tightening slightly around you and allowed his eyes to close- not to sleep, but to take up the rare opportunity in his usually hectic life to just relax.
---
Only 15 or so minutes had passed since Mycroft had woken up before you began to stir slightly, the hand that was fisted into his jumper moved and instead wound beneath his arm, holding at his shoulder blade and pulling yourself impossibly closer to him, your leg twisting slightly and angling your hip to brush against Mycroft's crotch with just enough pressure to make him gasp. Mycroft had blinked slowly, trying to register the sensation while simultaneously trying to ignore it. He had felt his body stiffen, which had clearly been unwelcome to your sleeping form. You had turned once again, other hand circling his neck and tugging closer, pressing against him once more and humming at the warmth. Mycroft coughed rather loudly, face burning, eyes wide, utterly mortified and, quite frankly, half hard.
He was truly embarrassed, his body reacting in such a juvenile way from the slightest of touch. He cursed himself for his lack of control and placed his atheism aside to pray to God that it would just go away. It's not that Mycroft had never paid that part of his body any attention- he was human after all- but with his usually busy work schedule, and then the Eurus mishap, and of course having you in his home, he hadn't allowed himself to.. indulge.. so to speak. So clearly the smallest hint of friction was enough to turn him into a teenager again. He had also noticed that in your movements the hem of your shirt had lifted just enough that Mycroft's hand was now resting against bare skin and he swallowed thickly.
Mycroft had, of course, contemplated the idea of sex- in any form- in his past. It was in college that he had noticed his peers coming into school with hickeys on their necks, conversed between each other of their sexual encounters, parading body counts, and in University where he had found himself accidentally walking in on far too many students going at it in various cupboards and empty classrooms. He had taken a brief interest but soon let it die down when he had never found anybody interested in him, nor anybody he was interested in. Of course with his occupation and links there had always been the option to fulfil such desires with the security of utmost privacy, but Mycroft had never been keen on the idea of paying for sex. So that, of course, left him in the position of being completely sexually inexperienced, which had never bothered him or caused him any embarrassment until this very moment.
When allowing himself to enter the relationship with you, Mycroft of course suspected that sex would be on the cards at some point, but he had hoped it wouldn't be the result of basic instinct like this. Previously, the idea of being that intimate with you had been an exciting prospect, but now all that was left was embarrassment of his history, and insecurity of his body.
"God, how long have we been out? I feel incredible." You muttered against his skin, not making any effort to move away from the cocoon of warmth that Mycroft was providing. You hummed appreciatively at the feeling of the elder Holmes' hand on your back and the heartbeat that you felt under the fingers on his chest. Only the heartbeat was significantly increased since before you had fallen asleep. "Myc? You okay?" Now you did move, angling your neck to look at the flushed features of the man you were lying next to. Mycroft coughed and nodded weakly, making any slight attempt to angle his pelvis away from you. "If you're sure..? Was I being too clingy? Honestly, you can tell me and I'll stop hanging on you like a baby monkey." You heard a quiet 'no' and smiled. "Okay good, because I REALLY like the cuddling." You shuffled in a little closer and continued. "And, please don't shove me off, I think you like it too because you didn't let me fall and yo- Oh!" Your fidgeting had allowed your thigh to once again rub against Mycroft's erection and he hissed slightly.
"Y/N I can only offer my utmost apologies for reacting in such a callow manner." He stuttered out, making every attempt to wriggle his way from your grip with the idea of making a beeline for the door.
"You don't need to apologise, Mycroft. If anything, I should apologise for uh.. friction? Or perhaps Da Vinci should apologise for discovering friction in the first place?" You breathed a small laugh but Mycroft only remained stiff and uncomfortable. You manoeuvred yourself until you'd both sat up, you sideways slightly with your legs resting across Mycroft's lap and covering him. "Sorry, I tried to make a sciency joke to make you laugh. It was just my way of saying that you're okay and that you shouldn't be embarrassed. If anything, I'm flattered." You laughed slightly again and Mycroft's shoulders slightly relaxed. "Christ, I could, that's if you want to and please do not feel pressured, I could.. help. If you wanted to?" His eyes widened dramatically, brows raising to his hairline while his jaw comically opened slightly in shock.
"I don't.. that is.. you don't have..I-" In a rare moment of time, Mycroft found himself lost for words and an appropriate reaction.
"Don't worry, just forget about it. We don't have to do anything like that until you're ready.. If you're ever ready, that is.. If you don't.. do that.. kinda stuff, that's fine too." And now you were propositioning that you were willing to forego any kind of sexual activity should Mycroft never want it? Why? You answered his unspoken question with a chuckle. "I mean, I've gone 5 years without it, what's the rest of our lives?" Mycroft closed his eyes and took a breath.
"No. It's not that I don't.. want to.. I just.. I, well.. I'm a very busy man and I always have been so.."
"Mycroft, quite frankly I couldn't care less whether you've done anything with a hundred women or none at all. If anything, I find it kinda hot that you haven't. And even more hot if I were the one to change that." He nodded slowly and you smiled back at him. "Is that a yes? Because it doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be. We have all the time in the world."
"Yes."
"Okay. Just promise me you'll tell me if you want to stop." He nodded again. "Promise me, Myc."
"I.. I promise."
--------- sexy times warning ---------
You raised your hand slowly to brush against his face before leaning in and pressing your lips against his. Mycroft sighed in content as you let your thumb graze his cheekbone. Shifting position, you moved your knees to either side of his thighs, straddling him slightly but with your weight resting above his knees, your other hand circling to hold the back of his neck.
"This okay?"
"Mmm." You let your lips travel along his jawbone, nipping slightly at skin and smirking in triumph at the tiny gasps leaving the politician's mouth. Running your hands from his neck down his chest, tugging slightly at the thick jumper in silent plea. Mycroft raised his arms slightly, giving you the access to lift it and chuck it at the side. Wincing, you watched as it knocked the half cup of cold coffee you left on the side, the brown liquid splashing from its porcelain confinements onto the burgundy cotton.
"Please don't tell me that jumper's some four-figured item hand crafted by only the finest of maids in a remote Peruvian town.." Mycroft took his focus back and grimaced.
"Five, and Venezuelan." You stiffened and gulped slightly. "I'm kidding, it's only from M&S." A dazed grin on his face, hands squeezing ever so slightly at your hips. The back of your hand slapped his chest as you relaxed again, breathing out a laugh.
"You are a very cruel man, Mr Holmes." Head lowering to kiss at his neck once more. "You're bloody lucky that you're pretty." His low chuckle was cut off with a deep hum as you bit softly at his collarbone. You dragged your hands down again, fingering at the top buttons on Mycroft's shirt, and not missing how his body became tight. "We don't have to take it off if you don't want to." Relaxed once more. "Can I just undo a few? You'll be more comfortable I reckon without being strangled by a shirt collar." He nodded once. And then again when you double checked. And once more with a small 'yes' when you really wanted to make sure. Taking it slowly, you opened the top three buttons; two to give Mycroft's neck more breathing space, and the other to give your hand enough space to explore the new area of skin- fingers brushing over the top of his chest, auburn chest hair tickling between your digits. You kissed him again, tongue running ever so slightly across his bottom lip; relishing at the small whimper as you pulled away. Myc let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding when your palm dragged down from his chest and to the front of his trousers, applying the slightest bit of pressure as you rubbed slowly. You looked up once more to make sure you weren't taking things too quickly, E/C meeting the tiniest speck of blue that hadn't been hidden from his blown pupils.
"Please?" His voice was barely a whisper, and you were sure you wouldn't have heard it if you hadn't been as close to him as you are now. You tugged at his belt and threw it with the caffeine infused sweatshirt, popping the button of his trousers open and lowering the zip. Mycroft threw his head back against the sofa cushions as you reached in and began to stroke him slowly, your lips latching onto the much better exposed neck. You experimentally gave a twist of your hand each time you reached the head, thumb brushing over the pre-cum that had formed at the tip and using it to slick up your hand- the elder Holmes let out a low moan from his throat, fingers digging into your hips so tightly that you wouldn't be surprised if they left small bruises. Not that you minded, anyway. Hearing Mycroft make those noises under your touch was exhilarating, and knowing you were the first to do such a thing only spurred the excitement on more. You could feel his thighs tighten beneath you, his breathing become slightly more ragged. You hadn't expected him to have lasted long, and you began to recognise the warning signs. Removing your hand completely, you couldn't help but send Mycroft an apologetic smile at the look of disappointment in his face.
"Look, I've already ruined a jumper and I'll be damned if I'm the cause of ruining your trousers too- which are certainly not from Marks and Sparks." You shimmied yourself back until you could feel the plush rug beneath your feet, dropping yourself until you were on your knees between his open legs. You could see in his eyes how he wanted to protest, or make some explanation on how it's unsanitary, but Mycroft's sheer need fed by his curiosity won over and he closed his eyes in waiting, regaining slight control over his breath before choking on it as you slowly ran your tongue from the base of his shaft to the head. "Unless you want me to stop?"
"Good God, no." His voice raised, making you grin as you took him into your mouth completely, head bobbing in a steady rhythm with your hand that pumped what you couldn't reach. Mycroft was certainly larger than any man you had been with before; his long slender cock suiting his form perfectly. You hummed as you imagined later sexual encounters with him- him filling you completely at last- and he writhed as the vibrations ran straight through him. Without a warning, you removed your hand and took him into your mouth completely, sucking and licking against the long vein that ran on the underside of his erection. Myc's hands instinctively shot to your hair as he felt the warmth build in his stomach, quickly cumming with a shout as you hummed around him once more. You pulled off him slowly with an audible 'pop', trying not to overstimulate while he was still sensitive, and tucked him back into his trousers. He tried to balance his breathing, removing his hands from your hair and running them through his own. Standing back up, you glanced over his form- his hair absolutely wild, shirt unbuttoned sligthly, red hairs poking between the fabric from a heaving chest, mouth still slightly open as he breathed, cheeks flushed immensely. God he looked gorgeous.
"Was that.. uh. Good?" You inwardly cringed at your words. Christ woman, you just blew him, not given him a cake. Uncharacteristically for Mycroft, his pale hand reached over to cup your cheek, bringing your lips to his in a sweet kiss; his tongue experimentally running across your bottom lip before pulling away. "Right, okay. That answered my question on where you stand on kissing after. With you sat there looking all messed up and sexy I was about ready to run and brush my teeth to kiss you again."
"Apologies.. I found myself.. curious."
"You bloody pervert." You winked, leaning to kiss him again. "So you'll kiss me after.. after.." You tried to think of a word that wouldn't sound overly vulgar to the man who had swallowed several dictionaries in several different languages.
"Fellatio?"
"Christ on a bike, Mycroft if you call it that I'll never do it again." The pair of you laughed like a pair of idiots for a moment before you continued on. "Anyway.. You'll kiss me after I do that and deem it 'curiosity', but I dip my chip in a milkshake and that's considered 'improper'? I'm starting to think you make up these rules to best suit you."
"Well, one should indulge in the odd act of impropriety sometimes, else I fear we'd go insane."
"So you WILL dip a chip in the milkshake next time?"
"Oh God, no. I'd rather snack on one of Sherlock's experiments." You both laughed again before silence took over, Mycroft's brain whirring as he tried to both comprehend what had happened, and work out the appropriate way to go on.
"You know, there isn't any written etiquette on how to behave after your partner blows you on the sofa." A raised eyebrow in response. "I am not calling it fellatio.." You reached over and grabbed the tv remote, flicking it back on.
"And you said you couldn't read minds.." As the screen began to power on, you heard a small chuckle from beside you.
"What?"
"No it's nothing. Just ignore me." He bit down onto two fingers slightly to compose himself; the composure being short-lived as he started off again. You tilted your head at him, urging him to speak about what had suddenly crossed his mind.
"Sorry I was just thinking about this morning."
"Bernice? Bit of a weird thing for your mind to flitter to right now, isn't it? Maybe I should be concerned you'll sack me off for her; one bit of action and you're planning to wed the nympho." You teased, loading britbox back up with the intention of continuing your filmathon- a word you used and Myc hated.. so you used it more.
"Before that. What you said this morning, after I heard you wince and ask-"
"Head.. And I said 'who knows what the day will bring'." You snickered into your hand and slouched back, resting slightly aside Mycroft's shoulder. "Speaking of that.. I do hope you're aware that I don't typically do that after only dating somebody for little less than a week."
"Usually wait two, do you?" You slapped his arm.
"Cheeky prick, I'm being serious! I don't want to make it all mushy and awkward so I'll say it, you don't respond and then we'll start up Carry On Camping. Deal?" He nodded his head slightly, bowing it towards you in gesture to continue. "Doing.. that.. and you letting me, it meant a lot. Which probably sounds weird for what it was but, and don't let this over stroke your ego, I don't feel like we've only been together a week. It just feels like we've been together for years with a random rule of celibacy that an innocent nap on the sofa broke. So.. there. I dunno.. I'm just.. proud of you? For taking that step with me.. and I'm massively looking forward to a few steps time when I can get your kit off." You coughed the last sentence with a laugh. True to his agreement, Mycroft didn't say a word. You played the next film and grinned when you felt a long arm wrap behind your back, tugging you to his form gently before warm lips pressed against your temple.
From an outside perspective, your little speech would likely seem a tad bizarre but you knew it probably meant a lot to Mycroft- the kiss on your head solidifying that fact. So you were more than willing to spurt a few awkward sentences for the sake of his reassurance; pleased that it was received well and not like some 'well done for trying' certificate you'd get in primary school for coming 6th in the sack race.
"Ooh this one has Babs in it, doesn't it? God I loved Barbara Windsor."
"Mmm. I met Dame Barbara once, a fair few years ago now. She truly was wonderful." Mycroft praised.
"Of course you met her, her last name's Windsor. You'd do anything to get to anything related to The Queen."
"Dame Barbara's surname was actually Deeks. She changed it to Windsor, inspired by Her Majesty, in 1954 following her role in 'The Belles of St Trinian's."
"Mycroft, sweetheart, I was joking. You told me you'd met her when she was given her title. I was a Barbara fangirl, I know." You twisted and pecked him on the cheek, not even noticing the petname that certainly didn't fall on deaf ears from Myc. The side of his mouth flicked up in a small smile; his hand squeezing slightly on your hip before he leaned over and spoke quietly.
"Thank you."
"What fo-"
"Shhh, film's starting." And with that, the pair of you settled into a comfortable silence, being broken only every now and then with your laughter as you watched the telly. Mycroft's smiles and light hearted reactions came from watching you much more than the film, but he didn't think you noticed. Or if you did, you didn't say a word.
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Jin Guangyao isn't cruel because he is nice sometimes! No... no... just no. He pretends to be a nice, sweet person to get what he wants, it is exactly why he got away with the killings and plannings for the Yin Hu Fu, YEARS AFTER JIN GUANGSHAN IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. He's the only legitimate Jin left old enough to take over the Sect, who the hell was gonna argue that when all relevant Jins were dead and Nie Mingjue was killed by the happy smiling pretty boy?
First example, he was actively friends with Xue Yang, there is no saying he was coerced into that one since he recommended him as a guest disciple and made creepy little jokes with him.
Jin GuangYao sighed, “I only turned around for a second and you stirred up so much trouble for me. I only had to pay for a bowl of dumplings in the beginning, and now I have to pay for his table, chairs, pots and pans, and even bowls.”
Xue Yang, “You’ll miss the couple of coins?”
Jin GuangYao, “No.”
Xue Yang, “Then why are you sighing?”
Jin GuangYao, “I don’t think you’ll miss the couple of coins either. Why can’t you try being a normal customer once in a while?”
Xue Yang, “Back in Kuizhou I never paid for anything I wanted. Just like this.” As he spoke, he casually plucked off a stick of sugared haws off a vendor’s pole. It might be the first time the vendor saw such a shameless person. As he stared open-mouthed, Xue Yang took a bite, “Besides, you can deal with the trouble of me wrecking a tiny stall, can’t you?”
Jin GuangYao smiled, “You little delinquent. Wreck stalls however you want. I wouldn’t even care if you burned down the entire street. Just one thing—don’t wear the Stars Amidst Snow robes and cover up your face. Don’t let anyone know who did it, or it’d be trouble for me.”
He tossed the money to the vendor
A.K.A: haha you're funny and I don't care who you fuck over but be sly and
Next example:
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources on these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. Among them, not many achieved anything, while the one who walked the furthest was the youngest Xue Yang, recommended by Jin GuangYao alone.
Jin GuangYao was overjoyed. He accepted him as a guest cultivator and gave him high rights and freedom. The corpse training ground was an area of land Jin GuangYao specially requested for Xue Yang for him to research in secrecy, which meant for him to fool around however he wanted to.
He gave a whole torture playground for Xue Yang to use, he specifically asked for this from his own mouth, for Xue Yang to use and he would check in on progress. As for his morals:
Jin GuangYao’s tone was somewhat reproachful, “He Su gongzi is a respected cultivator, after all. How could you refer to him in such a disrespectful way?”
The cultivator laughed coldly, “I’ve already fallen in your hands. What are you keeping up the pretense for?”
Jin GuangYao responded with a kind expression, “You don’t have to look at me like that. I also had no choice. To elect a chief cultivator is an irresistible trend. What was the use of stirring up trouble and seeking arguments everywhere? I’ve already warned you again and again, yet you were determined not to listen to me. Under these circumstances, things are already beyond redemption. From the bottom of my heart, I, too, feel utmost pain and regret.”
He Su, “What was the irresistible trend? What was stirring up trouble? Jin GuangShan wanted to establish the position of chief cultivator only to imitate the QishanWen Sect in being the only one at the top. Do you think all the world is ignorant? You frame me like this only because I spoke the truth!”
Jin GuangYao smiled, saying nothing. He Su continued, “When you really succeed, all of the world of cultivation would see the true face of the LanlingJin Sect. Do you think killing me alone would put you eternally at ease? How wrong you are! We, the TingshanHe Sect, teem with talent. From now on, we’ll unite and never surrender to you Wen-dogs of another skin!”
Hearing this, Jin GuangYao squinted slightly, the corners of his lips curving up. It was the usual kind, gentle expression. Seeing this, He Su felt his heart skip a beat. At the same time, commotion sounded outside the corpse training ground, among it the cries of women and children.
He Su spun around, only to see a group of LanlingJin Sect cultivators drag inside sixty or seventy people all wearing the same uniform. There were men and women, old and young. Every one of them was a cross between shock and fear, while some were already crying. Both tied up, a girl and a boy kneeled on the ground as they wailed at He Su, “Ge!”
He Su was shocked speechless, his face instantly as white as paper, “Jin GuangYao! What are you doing?! It’s enough if you kill me—why drag my entire sect along?!”
Jin GuangYao looked down and fixed his sleeves, still grinning, “Weren’t you yourself the one who reminded me just now? Even if I killed you, I wouldn’t be put eternally at ease. The TingshanHe Sect teems with talent, and from now on, you’d unite and never surrender—I was quite frightened. After much thought, this was the only thing I could come up with.”
Among the group are children. That he did see and stare at gleefully as he lets Xue Yang decide to use all of them for corpse experiments. What does that mean??? Maybe that Jin Guangyao is also not in fact best uncle as he similarly was willing to kill Jin Ling who he "loved" as bait to try running away and is more than willing to use his "friends" for his own rise to power or to run away.
Examples of him enjoying emotionally torturing others as much as Xue Yang as a tactic:
Example 1:
“That’s not the way to go about things, is it? The TingshanHe Sect rebelled and schemed to assassinate Sect Leader Jin with all its forces before it was caught red-handed. How could that be called without a reason?”
The ones overhead cried, “Ge! He’s lying! We didn’t, we didn’t!”
He Su, “Utter nonsense! Open your eyes and fucking look! There are nine-year-old children here! Old men who can’t even walk! How could they rebel against anything?! Why would they assassinate your dad out of nowhere?!”
Jin GuangYao, “Because you made a mistake and committed murder, Young Master He Su, while they refused to accept Koi Tower’s conviction of you, of course.”
He Su finally remembered the accusation for which he was transferred to such a creepy place, “It’s all made up! I never killed a cultivator of the LanlingJin Sect! I’ve never even seen the person who died! I don’t even know if he was really a cultivator from your sect! I… I…”
He stammered for a while before eventually caving in, “I… I don’t even know what happened, I don’t even know!”
Yet, at such a place, nobody would listen to his protests.
Example 2:
Just as he was about to move, Jin GuangYao smiled, “HanGuang-Jun, it’s best if you take five steps back.”
Wei WuXian suddenly felt a small, sharp sting come from his neck. Lan XiChen lowered his voice, “Be careful. Do not move!”
Lan WangJi’s gaze landed on Wei WuXian’s neck. His face paled slightly.
An almost invisible guqin string, light and golden, was tied around Wei WuXian’s neck.
The guqin string was extremely thin. It was covered in special paint as well, making it almost invisible to the eye. Along with how disoriented Wei WuXian was, unable to pay attention to anything else, he didn’t notice it when it wrapped around his throat.
“Lan Zhan, don’t! Don’t back away!”
But Lan WangJi immediately walked five steps back without any hesitation.
Jin GuangYao, “Wonderful. Now, please sheathe Bichen.”
With a clank, Lan WangJi obeyed again. Wei WuXian raged, “Don’t ask for too much!”
Jin GuangYao quipped, “This is already asking for too much? Next, I’m even going to ask HanGuang-Jun to seal away his spiritual powers. What would that be called?”
Wei WuXian seethed, “You…”
Before he could finish, the sharp pain of flesh being lacerated came from his throat. Something dripped down his neck. Lan WangJi’s face was pale. Jin GuangYao said, “How could he not listen to me? Just think about it, Wei gongzi, his life is in my hands.”
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Do. Not. Touch. Him.”
“Then you know what to do, HanGuang-Jun.”
A moment later, Lan WangJi responded, “Yes.”
Lan XiChen sighed. Lan WangJi raised his hands. With two strong taps, he locked his own spiritual powers.
Jin GuangYao smiled, his voice soft, “This really is…”
Lan WangJi’s eyes were locked on them, “Let him go.”
Example 3:
Wei WuXian wouldn’t have had to be responsible for a life as heavy as Jin ZiXuan’s, and the things that happened later wouldn’t have had to happen.
Yet now, he finally realized even the reason behind culprit’s curse wasn’t to frame him. Even the cause didn’t have anything to do with him!
Such a fact was truly difficult to accept.
As he laughed, Wei WuXian’s eyes reddened. He mocked, whether at himself or otherwise, “I can’t believe it’s because of someone like you… because of such a ridiculous reason!”
But Jin GuangYao seemed like he knew what he thought, “Wei gongzi, you really shouldn’t think like this.”
Wei WuXian, “Oh? You know what I think?”
Jin GuangYao, “Of course. It’s quite easy. You’re definitely thinking about how unfortunate you are. In reality, you’re not. Even if Su She didn’t curse Jin ZiXun, Mr. Wei, you’d receive a siege sooner or later, because of some other reason.” He smiled, “Because that’s what kind of a person you are. At best, you’re the untamed hero; at worst, you offend people wherever you go. Unless all those whom you’ve offended lived their lives safely, as soon as something happened to them or someone did something to them, the first person they suspect would be you and the first person they seek revenge on would also you. And this is something you have no control over.”
Somehow, Wei WuXian smiled, “What should I do? For some reason, I think you make a lot of sense.”
Jin GuangYao, “And even if you didn’t lose control at the Qiongqi Path, could you guarantee you didn’t lose control sometime in the rest of your life? Thus, someone like you is destined to have a short life. You see? Doesn’t it feel a lot better if you think about it this way?”
He takes little time in using others hurt or their protective instincts against them, and is just as gleeful to see others in powerless situations in comparison to him as it still gives him a form of control to worm his way out of everything that has caught up to him.
Jin GuangYao, “Ge, every word of what I say is true.”
His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer any need to call me ‘Brother.’”
Jin GuangYao, “What happened at Burial Mound was an accident, a mistake. But, I can’t go back anymore.”
Lan XiChen, “What do you mean you cannot go back?”
Lan WangJi frowned slightly, his voice cold, “Xiongzhang, do not engage in excessive conversation with him.”
Wei WuXian reminded him as well, “Sect Leader Lan, do you remember what you said to Sect Leader Jiang? Don’t spend too long talking to him.”
Jin GuangYao, “Ge, listen to me. I don’t deny that I did those things…”
Lan XiChen, “How could you deny them? There are both witnesses and proof!”
Jin GuangYao, “And so I said I don’t deny them! But to have killed my father, my wife, my son, ge—if not because I had no other choice, why would I have done those things? Could it be that I’m really so out of my mind in your eyes?!”
"Your… wife…” As though he couldn’t say it, he immediately changed his phrasing, "Your sister, Qin Su, did you really marry her while knowing what blood relationship you had with her?”
Jin GuangYao stared blankly at him. Suddenly, tears rolled down his eyes. He answered with pain, “… Yes.” Lan XiChen took in a deep breath. His face was almost ashen. Jin GuangYao whispered, "But I really had no choice.”
With a sigh, Lan XiChen continued, “Third, do not try to avoid it and answer me—did you plan the death of Jin ZiXuan on purpose?!”
Hearing his father’s name, Jin Ling, who’d been holding Jiang Cheng, widened his eyes.
Lan WangJi raised his voice somewhat, “Xiongzhang, you believe him?”
Lan XiChen’s expression was complicated, “Of course I do not believe that Jin ZiXuan ran into the attack at Qiongqi Path by accident, but… let him speak first.”
Jin GuangYao knew he wouldn’t be believed if he denied it no matter what. He clenched his teeth, “… I indeed didn’t run into Jin ZiXuan by accident.”
Jin Ling immediately clenched his fists.
Jin GuangYao continued, “But I’ve never thought of planning everything that happened afterward either. You don’t have to think of me as so clever and faultless. Many things can’t be controlled at all. How could I have known that he’d definitely die by Wei WuXian’s hands together with Jin ZiXun? How could I have predicted that Wei WuXian would definitely lose control and the Ghost General would definitely run a riot?”
Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “And you said you didn’t run into him by accident? Isn’t that self-contradiction?!”
Jin GuangYao, “I don’t deny that I told him about the attack at Qiongqi Path on purpose, but I only thought that he’d encounter some difficulties if he ran into you when you were being troubled by his cousin since he’d never been on good terms with you. How could I have known that you would simply kill everyone present, Wei gongzi?”
“Why was a sect leader who spent money like water unwilling to do the smallest favor and buy my mother’s freedom? Simple—it was too much trouble. My mother waited for so many years, weaving together so many difficult circumstances when she talked to me, imagining for his sake so many hardships. And the real reason was only a single word: trouble.
“This is what he said, ‘It’s especially women who’ve read some books who think they’re a level higher than other women. They’re the most troublesome, with so many demands and unrealistic thoughts. If I bought her freedom and took her back to Lanling, who knows how much fuss she’d make. It was best that I let her stay where she was just like that. With her conditions, she’d probably be popular for a few more years. She wouldn’t have to worry about her spendings for the rest of her life.’
“‘Son? Oh, forget it.’”
Jin GuangYao’s memory was extraordinary. With such a word-by-word repetition, one could even imagine that drunk expression of Jin GuangShan’s when he said these words, “Ge, look, those three words were all that I was worth to my father, ‘Oh, forget it.’ Hahahaha…”
Pain flashed before Lan XiChen’s face, “Even if your father… you…” He still couldn’t find an appropriate comment and gave up, sighing instead, “What is the use of saying all this now?”
Jin GuangYao shrugged as he smiled, “I can’t help it. To seek pity even after doing all these terrible things—that’s the kind of person I am.”
At the word ‘pity’, he suddenly flipped his wrist. A red guqin string wrapped around Jin Ling’s neck.
Tears still hung at the corners of Jin GuangYao’s eyes as he spoke, voice low, “Don’t move!”
"I had no choice", "I couldn't predict anyone would be killed" "He mocked and forgot my mother and I". He uses all of this as a try to convince a kind Lan Xichen to let him go. However,he contradicts his own defenses as he had said Wei Wuxian was always fated to die for his actions and lack of being to keep things under control. This empathy is faked on his end while he makes excuses all while he never extended the same courtesy to those he killed, innocent or not, and underhandedly still tries to get those sympathetic under his manipulations. When they are not working he resorts again to threatening lives. He uses his mother also as a reason for revenge, however his grab for power alone after Jin Guangshan and Nie Mingjue are killed was solely based on his own obsession of status at that point. His mother was no longer a goal to accomplish anything and his continued lies dragged in more than one innocent party to get what he wanted.
He never saw Jin Ling, Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji, or Wei Wuxian as anything but pawns despite his soft words to them that are really just a mockery within Guanyin Temple at that point. He has placed none of them before himself in terms of what he cares for and never had.
TL:DR: Jin Guangyao's "kindness" was always a mask and Nie Mingjue was right that he was irredeemable, genuinely unkind and cruel as a person.
(Edit: Jin Guangyao stans don't even try, I will block you if you dare to reply to this)
#mdzs#mdzs mo dao zu shi#Jin Guangyao#I'm a little tired of him being painted as something he is not too#he would never have been kind to Wei Wuxian in turn as he used his infamy for his own benefit#he said he was fated to die anyways#that's not friend material#nor would Wei Wuxian ever willingly work with him#lol good friend and shushu Jin Guangyao#please this take is just as annoying as any of Jiang Cheng's excuses
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if I can never give you peace — one || Jungkook
Pairing: Jungkook x reader // Word count (chapter): 6k // Genre: Mafia AU, Hybrid AU, enemies to lovers // Ao3
↳ It starts like quite a few stories do, in your world. Girl meets boy, who happens to be a hybrid, girl buys him at an auction where hybrids are sold, boy falls in love with her, girl gets bored of him. Then it’s not so typical anymore, when the boy ends up forced into illegal fighting rings, until he makes a wrong move and the girl’s father decides he needs to be killed.
Where does that leave you? Well, you’re the one who handled Jungkook’s fight and generally organized his life, and, when the girl’s father, your boss and mafia leader, tells you he wants him ‘put down’, you’re the one who has to get it done. Except, instead, you let him escape, and everything turns out fine.
Until he comes back.
Warnings and tags (chapter): Descriptions of violence, Minor Character Death, Guns, kind of dark in general
Previous · Next
The first gunshot takes everyone by surprise. Unsure glances are exchanged all around, “did you guys hear that”, and disbelief is clear as day on people’s faces. There’s no way this would happen here, right? People are mostly aware of the fact that they’re technically working for a mafia leader, but this is the legal side of the business, and this building is in the middle of the town’s business centre. This cannot be happening.
You stay perfectly still, immobile where you were standing. Out of all the people here, you’re the one who is the most involved in the questionable parts of the family’s activities. In fact, you were just about to go up to Mr. X’s floor to discuss said questionable things — in this case, the smuggling of a large cargo of weapons.
The gunshot is still ringing in your ears when it is followed by another one, and then possibly more, but you can’t hear them because chaos erupts all around you.
People get up, start running around, some towards the elevators, some towards the stairs. Your brain tells you those choices are probably bad. If those gunshots are for the Family — and who are you kidding, they are — then whoever is firing them is coming up.
“Don’t use the stairs,” you order, and some people stop to look at you, unsure of what to do. They trust your decisions, to a degree, but you doubt it’s enough in this situation. “They’re probably coming,” you explain, even if three of the employees have already slipped through the door and left, “and I don’t think you should be in front of the elevator when the door opens.”
Blood drains from people’s faces. Downstairs, there are more shots fired. A woman starts to cry. Your brain is going in overdrive, processing everything, trying to come up with the best decision, and yet it doesn’t feel like anything is actually registering.
“You should barricade yourself in a room,” you say. Your voice is eerily calm, even to your ears, and it feels strange to hear it. It’s like a curtain has fallen between you and the world around you. You understand that this situation is terrifying, that you should have a reaction that is not apathy. You just don’t. “I don’t think you’re the main targets here. I’ll be going up to see Mr. X.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” a man shouts. “You just want to leave us here to be canon fodder! You—”
He’s shut up by your bodyguard pulling out a gun of his own.
“I suggest you do what she’s saying,” he orders, voice deep and gravelly.
On top of being armed, Hector is a bear hybrid you hired about a year ago. He’s tall and large, very impressive physically, which is generally enough to discourage any kind of altercation. He’s also a calm and gentle person most of the time. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him hold the gun he carries.
“You should stay here with them,” you tell him. He send you a disconcerted look.
“Are you sure? Even if they’re not the target, you might be.”
The statement shouldn’t take you by surprise. It’s something you should have considered immediately, and it takes you a second to figure out why you haven’t. If you are a target, that means the attacker knows about the workings of the organization. That would mean that they’ve been planning this for a while, and that they’ve simply gone completely under your radar all this time. Which is a lot more worrying to you than anything else.
“Stay,” you insist. When this is over, it will be better if people here think you had their best interest at heart.
If you make it out, that is.
Hector ushers people inside a conference room, and you walk towards the stairs. From there, you hear gunshots better than you did earlier, and you wince at the sound. You’re not used to it. It’s strange, since you’ve been working for the Family for years now, but you’ve very rarely heard people firing guns. You’ve never even had a gun pulled on you. You’d like to think it’s because you’re too careful, or too smart to find yourself in those situations, but the truth is you’ve just never been in situations where that sort of things would happen.
Sure, someone could send a killer for you — they have, actually — and then the carefully crafted net of precautions you’ve woven around yourself would — did — stop them, but you don’t participate in drug deals and you’re rarely out in the street, and that’s where those things happen most of the time.
You glance down. You’re on the fifteenth floor, so you doubt the employees who ignored your warning have made it out yet. You doubt they will, to be honest.
Glancing up, you wonder if you’ll make it to the twentieth before someone catches up with you and, since it’s a useless thing to think about, you begin your ascension. You’re not the most in shape, most of your daily exercise consisting in walking from places to places. That is a lot of walking, and you can do it without getting breathless, but you never take the stairs. Soon, you’re panting, and you’re about to take a break after three floors when you hear new gunshots that make you freeze.
These were in the stairwell. They echo deafeningly, and, for the first time since this all started, fear actually grips you. You swallow, heart beating loudly, and you keep going. You hear some screams, down there, and the horrible sound of flesh — bodies — hitting the floor, and then nothing. You’re sure someone must be climbing up those stairs, but you can’t hear them at all, and that terrifies you. You have no idea how fast they are, how soon they’ll catch up with you, how—
You slam open the door to the last floor. The time is not to discretion, and anyway, whoever is down there is probably coming for the twentieth floor.
The second you walk out, three guns are pointed towards you, and someone is screaming at you to stay where you are. You obey, until Mr. X’s bodyguards identify you. You had told him that hiring hybrids would be a good idea, since they rely more on their heightened senses and tend to have better reflexes, but you’d been ignored, so you had just shrugged it off and followed your own advice.
“Mr. X is inside,” one of the men tells you, pointing at the door, but not moving to take you there. You walk by him, and they all keep their eyes firmly on the stairwell’s door. That makes you assume the elevators don’t work, otherwise they’d have part of their focus on there.
“Mr. X, do we have any idea what— Miss Xanders, I apologize, I hadn’t seen you there.”
“It’s fine, (Y/N),” Anna says. “We really have more important things to concern ourselves with.”
“Do we know who’s attacking us?” you ask, giving your attention back to Mr. Xanders.
Mr. Xanders is an old man, you feel that he was already an old man when you’d joined. He had Anna quite late, when he was nearing his fifties, and he recently celebrated his seventieth birthday. You would know, you organized the party.
He’s looked old for as long as you’ve worked for him, using a walking stick, small eyes hidden behind large glasses, skin marked with wrinkles. But there was always something sharp and smart, cunning, in his eyes. Despite everything, he felt dangerous, and you had never doubted that he was not a man to underestimate.
Right now, though, he looks tired. Exhausted. He’s staring at his laptop screen and shaking his head, utterly confused.
“I can’t recognize anyone,” he says, and your heart misses a beat. Not good, that’s not good at all. “Can you?”
You walk around the desk quickly, examining the view you get from various cameras placed all around the building, and your hands involuntarily clench into fists as you see how dire everything is. On several different floors, men with machine guns are walking around, and you know for a fact they’re not working for you. You can’t see what’s happened to your people in the low-resolution, but you can guess, and your stomach tightens at the thought.
“How is that possible?” you whisper. “How has no one intervened yet?”
You know the police isn’t too keen on coming here, but this is genuinely insane. The only explanation you can think of is that they’ve been paid-off, and again, you don’t know how you wouldn’t have heard about that.
“That’s not what I asked you,” Mr. X says harshly, and you wince, focusing again on the men on the screen. You scan the men again, quickly. Some are wearing masks, but a lot of them are brazenly showing their faces, and that is one more thing that is not good. They should want to make sure no one would recognize them. If they’re confident enough to do that…
“I don’t know them,” you whisper. Some look vaguely familiar, but you just can’t place it, so you’re sure they aren’t big names. You have definitely not been on the look-out for them.
“Dad, we should really go up to the helicopter,” Anna says urgently.
Mr. Xanders hesitates, then nods, getting up in a movement that is slow and clearly painful. You help him out without thinking much about it, holding his arm and giving him his walking stick.
“How will you do that? The elevators aren’t working and the stairs don’t go to the roof.”
“We’ll reactivate the elevators,” Anna explains with a shrug, and you stare at her in disbelief.
“That will mean those people will be able to move freely in the building. I don’t think—”
“They are already moving freely,” Mr. Xanders barks.
“Still—”
Then, a lot of things happen at the same time. You were standing in front of the elevator, Anna calling it with a special key, the bodyguards surrounding you, eyes and weapons still directed at the stairwell door.
The elevator opens with a ding. And the door slams open.
There are gunshots everywhere. You dive to the ground, or maybe you’re pushed down, you’re not too sure. You look up to see two men falling down around you, the third guard ushering Anna and her father in. You try to push yourself to your feet, but the door is already closing. You call out, you can’t hear your own voice, ears ringing from all the noise.
You meet Anna’s eyes, filled with indifference and a complete lack of remorse, and then the door is closed, and you know they’re gone.
And someone, someone who wanted them dead and just killed two men, is in this room with you.
Slowly, oh so slowly, you turn around. As you do, you feel your lower lip starting to tremble, and you sink your teeth into the flesh to stop it. You push yourself on your elbows, and your eyes fall on a man with bleached blonde hair pushed back with a bandana, a round face that makes him look younger than you suspect he is, and a mocking smirk. Once more, you’re struck by the fact that you don’t know him. He’s alone and he took out two trained guards, not to mention the people he must have killed to get there, and you have no clue who he is.
His eyes confuse you, at first, and then you realize it’s their color that is throwing you off, an unnatural yellow, and the slit of his pupils. He’s a hybrid, you understand, and you curse yourself for how slow your brain is at the moment. You don’t have time to wonder if he’s part cat or part snake before he takes a step towards you. Fear grips you, and you consider crawling back, but you force yourself to stay unmoving. You don’t let emotions control you. That’s not who you are.
Instead, you stare at him straight in the eyes, even as you feel tears well up in yours. You’ve never been afraid of death, and yet it seems that you can’t stop your body’s reaction as you understand that this is it. This is how you die, where you die, this is who kills you.
The man crouches down in front of you, and lifts his gun to press the barrel against your forehead. He looks at you like an animal playing with its food. The situation seems to be amusing to him, and you think he is waiting for you to beg. You have no intention of doing that.
“Just make it quick,” you say.
You don’t recognize your own voice. The man’s smile widens, revealing pearly white teeth and a set of fangs. Tears start to roll down your cheeks, and you’re completely unable to stop them. You don’t feel sad or afraid, you just feel empty, but the tears keep falling. Still, you hold the man’s gaze. You won’t beg for your life.
“What if I let you go?” he drawls, and you can’t help the way your eyes widen at the possibility. Then, he laughs, pleased by your reaction, and you’re horrified to find out that this had an effect on you. The treacherous hope you’d just felt makes the reality of your imminent death crushing. A sob escapes you before you can get yourself under control again.
“Please,” you whisper. “Just get it over with.”
A pout forms on his face, and he shrugs. Then, to your surprise, he removes the gun from your forehead. The next thing you feel is the grip of the weapon, violently connecting with your temple, and then you don’t feel anything at all, not even the floor when your head hits it in your fall.
You wake up to the sound of soft, muffled sobs. It takes you a few seconds to piece things together, your head throbbing painfully and your mind in shambles. You lift your head with a groan, trying to take in your surroundings. Your thoughts are slow and you hate it. It makes you feel so vulnerable and defenseless.
Of course, that gets worse when you realize your hands are tied behind your back. That sends a jolt of adrenaline through your body, and you manage to look around you. It seems like you are in some warehouse, which, in your experience, is not a good thing. That’s where executions happen. They’re places that are accident prone, so the presence of blood could be explained easily, and they aren’t inspected that often anyway.
There's another sob beside you, and when you turn to look where it’s coming from, you find Anna, not just tied up but gagged, tears streaming down her cheeks. You assume that means her and her father were caught before they made it to the helicopter. On the other side of her is Mr. X, who seems to be in the same situation as her.
I’m here to be killed, you think. You can’t see another explanation. Mr. X and Anna are definitely here for that reason, so if you’re there with them— it means you’re here to die. You hope it will be quick, like you had asked that man, but you doubt it. If they took you here, it’s probably because they intend to make an example out of you. Intellectually, you don’t blame them. If this is a takeover of the family, they’ll probably need all the intimidation power they can get to keep the situation under control. It’s a ballsy move, certainly, and you would be at least a little impressed if you weren’t thinking about the creative and painful ways they can choose to get rid of you.
“Is she awake?” a voice asks. You turn your head quickly, too quickly, and another groan escapes you as your head painfully reminds you of the blow you just took.
You meet the mocking eyes of the man who knocked you out, before he looks away from you, at a large man you don’t think you’ve seen before.
“He wants to see her.”
The man nods, and then he’s on you in just a few steps, roughly forcing you up, his grip tight around your arm. You groan again as he drags you through the warehouse, to a large black car. You have just the time to think that someone must not want to be seen, if they’re in that, before you’re pushed into it. You lose your balance and land on your knees, and that’s when legs appear in your field of vision. They’re clad in black suit trousers.
You slowly look up. First, you discover elbows resting on spread knees, tattooed hands joined between them. Then there’s an elegant white shirt, unbuttoned at the top, muscular shoulders, a strong jaw, an amused, mocking smile and—
Your mouth drops open. Today is definitely proving to be a trying day for your reputation of never expressing your emotions, no matter the situation.
“Jungkook?” you ask, in disbelief.
Because it’s him. There’s something harsher in his eyes, his hair is longer, dark locks falling down to his jaw, and he’s lost any remaining softness he still had two years ago, when you last saw him, but it’s definitely him. He looks confident, and he’s more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him, clearly knowing that he’s in full control of the situation.
“Hey,” he says. “Wanna take a seat?”
He watches you struggle to get to your feet, something that turns out not to be that easy when your hands are tied behind your back, and doesn’t make a movement to help you. When you manage to sit opposite him, you’re still watching him like you’ve seen a ghost.
“What are you doing here?”
You know you should be able to piece things together to get an answer now. The deferential tone the man had when he talked about him earlier, everything that happened since these first gunshots… In another situation, it would be obvious to you. But because it’s Jungkook, you can’t bring yourself to come to the natural conclusion.
Jungkook had an out. He could have left this world behind altogether. So why wouldn’t he?
“Come on, you’re supposed to be smart,” he says, mocking, and his smile is harsh and condescending. “I’m taking over for the Xanders family. I think that should have been pretty clear.”
There’s a moment of silence, a long moment, as he waits for it to sink in. He’s in no hurry.
“But why?”
He shrugs, lean back against the leather seat.
“Because I can. Don’t you wanna why you’re here?”
That… would be a good idea, actually, and you’re bothered by how long it took you to think about it. You’re also bothered by how you lost track of that the second you saw Jungkook. You blame it on the surprise and on the fact that you’ve known him since before you became as— you’d like to say ‘efficient’, but the right word is probably ‘emotionless’. Empty.
“Why am I here?” you ask, frowning. If he wanted to kill you, he would have done it outside. It could be that he just wants to gloat, but something tell you he has—
“I have an offer for you,” he says, and then he grins and reveals his teeth. “It’s my way of saying thanks for how generous you were when you gave me five minutes to save my life.”
His tone is so abrasive it almost makes you wince, but you’re already falling back into your normal self. ‘Offer’ is a good thing, it means negotiation, conversation, things you can do, things you’re good at, things you can focus on to block out everything else, like the pain in your head or the guilt that settles in when he describes your actions.
“What offer?”
The grin disappears. He doesn’t seem happy he didn’t get a reaction from you.
“Work for me.”
That… makes sense, you suppose.
“I’m taking over for Mr. X. You know everything around here, and some people say you’re the best there is at what you do.” Then he shrugs, and casually pulls out a gun that you think was tucked in his back pocket. “That, or join him out there. I’m not sure you’ll like the outcome for that though.”
Despite the obvious threat, you can’t help but seriously consider the offer. If there’s one thing you’re sure of, it’s that it’s not a good one. Even if he manages to replace Mr. X, you doubt all the people who work for him will obey him. Stabilizing the whole thing will be a titanic task, but that’s not even what worries you — you can appreciate a challenge. No, the issue is that if you switch your allegiance, people will remember it. You will make a lot of enemies, and that doesn’t even include the people who simply will not trust you because you used to work for someone else. It’s a poisoned gift, really, and you’re sure Jungkook knows it.
“How do you plan on making the families follow suit?” you ask with a frown.
He rolls his eyes.
“Do people ever tell you how boring you are?”
They do, actually.
“This is not the only coup happening today. Some people who have already agreed to work for me will get in power. And the others… will take some convincing, but I’m sure they’ll come around.” He gives you a joyless, aggressive smile.
You’re still focused on his first words. You were already so puzzled that you wouldn’t have heard about what’s going on today — about how Jungkook is back in town, about how he’s been planning an entire takeover — but this is on a whole other level.
“How did you do that?” you ask, and when he lifts an eyebrow, you know you didn’t manage to keep your surprise out of your voice.
“Which part?”
“How did I not hear about that? I mean, Mr. X could sneeze and I would have known about it. People couldn’t open speakeasies without getting approved by me first — and they tried more than once.”
Jungkook looks at you, and disbelief passes on his face. This is what gets you? You couldn’t be bothered to give a shit about anything earlier, now you seem barely affected by the fact that he was threatening to kill you, but that caught your interest. Not just that, but you almost look impressed.
Okay, maybe you’re not as boring as he’d said, but you sure are fucking weird.
“We can smell you,” he says, tapping his nose. “It’s not too hard to figure out who you’re in contact with. Just had to make sure to avoid them. There were a few close calls, but we took care of it.” Then he shrugs. “It wasn’t as hard as you think it was. You’re not as cautious around hybrids.”
You stare at him for a while. He starts picking at his suit, looking annoyed by the turn the situation has taken, and you think about what he said. He’s right, you realize. You fucked up here — badly. You should have taken hybrids’ senses into consideration. You’d like to tell yourself that you didn’t think about it because there were no hybrids in high places, in the organization, but that’s not a good excuse. You file the information in your brain. You’ll do better.
“I’ll do it,” you say, and Jungkook glances at you.
“What changed your mind?”
“I’m— curious, I suppose. I’d like to see where this thing is going.”
Jungkook considers taking back his offer. He didn’t know what he thought would happen, but he expected it to be more interesting than this. Instead, you sat there, face as stiff as ever, and now you’re talking about being curious, which sounds wildly out of character, if you ask him. Yoongi’s told him you cried when you thought he was about to kill him, but he doubts it right now. It doesn’t look like anything can get through that thick shell of yours — and even if it did, he doesn’t think there would be a lot underneath it.
But the thing is, he was telling the truth earlier, when he said you were rumored to be the best there was at your job, and Jungkook is nothing if not a perfectionist. He likes to surround himself with the best. Which, unfortunately, means you.
“Suga!” he shouts, opening the door.
The man with the slit pupils jumps in easily, and looks at you with a disapproving twist of his lips.
“I’m not killing her, am I?”
He sounds disappointed.
Jungkook shakes his head in response.
“That’s Suga,” he tells you, pointing at the man. “He’ll explain how we work to you.”
You nod.
“I think he should kill you,” Suga informs you off-handedly, dropping on the seat next to you. “I think you’ll betray us.”
“If she does, I’ll kill her, if she fucks up her job, I’ll kill her, ” Jungkook says, and you have no doubt he means it. “Consider this your five minutes. Let them go, and you won’t have another shot.”
“That’s fine by me,” you say evenly. Betrayal has never been an option for you. You had no loyalty towards Mr. X, but the threat over your family was too big to risk it. And now, with Jungkook— you guess you’ll have to wait and see. You don’t think you’ll betray him, but if things turn sour… You suppose you’re not above it.
Maybe it should worry you, how little you value your own life, but you brush it off quickly. Thinking about it too much could compromise the way you do your job, and you can’t have that.
“So,” Jungkook says, leaning back, eyes watching you carefully. “What do you suggest we do with the Xanders?”
Suga opens his mouth, but Jungkook lifts a hand, signaling that he wants your answer. You wonder if this is some kind of test.
“Killing them would be the best decision,” you say, somewhat reluctantly. You know your decisions in the past, your suggestions, have lead to the death of people, but you’ve rarely been so direct about it. Then again, death is part of the game, when you work this kind of job. Mr. Xanders is about as close to an actual monster as it gets. And Anna… Well, maybe Anna isn’t. You don’t like her, and you absolutely believe that she was happy to enjoy everything that came with what her father did, but she’s not him. Which is a low bar to clear.
“She’s not wrong,” Suga echoes, sounding annoyed.
“Letting them live would be seen as a proof of weakness and they would try to come back. It’s just— a bad idea.”
You can see Jungkook’s jaw tensing. Next to you, Suga starts to make his leg shake. You suppose he has the same kind of bad feeling you do.
“What if we kill Mr. X but not Anna?” he asks, and Suga groans. Jungkook rolls his eyes and develops. “Yoongi, we’re not taking over the legal part of the business. We can just— leave that to her, and not bother about it.”
“We’ll have to figure out something else to launder money,” you say, because that was the main point of that side of things, legal just in name really. That is not your biggest concern, though. “But if you kill her father and not her—”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Yoongi snaps. “She needs to die.”
He’s right. It’s just the smart thing to do.
“People here aren’t impressed by mercy,” you insist, and that’s when you realize you’ve lost that fight already. Jungkook knows it. There’s no way he doesn’t. He’s made his decision, even if it’s a bad one, and trying to change his mind is useless. So you’re quick to jump to the things that need to be done if he lets Anna live. “You need to get her to sign emancipation papers.”
Jungkook tenses suddenly at the suggestion and a low growl comes from his throat as he bares his teeth at you threateningly. Yoongi barely moves, but you see his hand settling on his hip, near his gun, which you guess serves as a reassuring gesture. The car fills with tension, and you swallow. You feel small and defenseless. It’s not that rare a sentiment, but you suddenly become extremely aware of the fact that you’re alone with them, hands still fucking tied behind your back, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do.
“Anna doesn’t own me,” Jungkook snarls.
“Legally she does,” you explain. You’re choosing your words carefully, making sure not to anger him any more, but you’re still staring right at him. “You may have forged an ID or something, but if she lives and she can prove she hasn’t freed you— the consequences will be bad.”
There is a second that feels like an eternity, Jungkook just staring at you, lips now in a tight line, before he shrugs and you can breathe again.
“Okay. Let’s do that.”
Yoongi groans and sends you a furious glare that you don’t understand. You agreed with him. What did you do to deserve that?
“I’ll take care of Xanders,” Jungkook adds. “C’mon. Let’s go.”
“Can someone— Can someone untie me?” you ask as they’re moving towards the door.
Jungkook glances at you.
“We’ll see when we come back.”
A grin flashes on his lips when your lips twist into an offended expression, and then he jumps out of the car, followed by Yoongi, and leaves you alone in there.
Fuck.
What an asshole.
Jungkook walks towards his captives with long, confident strides. Yoongi is right behind him, of course, his shadow, the perfect killer. He may disapprove of Jungkook’s plan, if you can even call it that, and he sure doesn’t like how easily you dropped the topic, but he’s still loyal to him. If he fucks up, he’ll clean up after him.
Jungkook savors the moment when Anna’s eyes fall on him. He can tell she recognizes him immediately by the way they widen and how she tries to speak through her gag. It’s been years since the last time he saw her. Much longer than the last time he saw you, which leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He’s thought about this so much. A long time ago, he dreamt of her telling him she wanted him back, but over the years, it mostly turned into him finally taking revenge, and he intends to fully savor it now that it’s happening.
He removes the gag from her mouth, and takes an unhealthy pleasure from the way she sobs out, loud and desperate.
“Jungkook, Jungkook, baby, please, please…”
Jungkook only needs to glance at Yoongi for him to set her free, albeit after an annoyed roll of his eyes. The second he does, Anna falls from the chair, right into his arms. Jungkook knows that she’s only trying to save her life, doubts she’s thought of him for more than a split second since he’s disappeared, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to enjoy it.
“Hey baby,” he grins, and he watches as she winces when she sees his sharp teeth. Right, she didn’t see him after that.
Fuck. It’s been a long, long time. She really didn’t give a fuck about him, huh?
And yet he can’t kill her. And yet he knows her bright, pleading eyes, the light weight of her body, the curve of her neck by heart.
“I’m going to need you to do something for me,” he says, voice deep and eyes boring into hers.
She blinks.
“And if I do you won’t— you won’t kill me?”
Jungkook’s opinion of Anna is far less charitable than yours. He thinks she’s an opportunist, will do anything to preserve herself and, sure, she’s not personally involved in her father’s business, but she wouldn’t bat an eye if she was. She likes to play the innocent girl who’s horrified by what’s going on with her family, but she just isn’t. As simple as that.
“Nah. I won’t.”
It doesn’t take long before Anna is kneeling on the floor, writing down what Yoongi is dictating to her, reading from his phone. Jungkook could do it, knows the text by heart, learned it a long time ago when he still hoped for it, but he just stays there immobile instead, watching her at his mercy.
It’s not as nice as he’d imagined.
Finally, she hands him the piece of paper with trembling hands, a small smile forming on her lips as she thinks that her nightmare is over.
Jungkook takes it, reads it over, and nods. Then he pulls his gun out, and Anna’s smile vanishes. Jungkook thrives on her reaction, on the idea that he has complete power over her in that moment. It feels dark and twisted, but fuck, it also feels good.
“But I—”
He shoots and Anna yelps, protecting her ears in reflex.
It takes her a second to realize he wasn’t aiming at her, and relief washes over her, before she understands what it means. She turns around, slowly. And screams.
A clean shot, Jungkook decides, looking at Mr. X. The man had been glaring at him the entire time, and he doubts he would have groveled like Anna had. Now, his blood is splattered on the floor, head thrown back, mouth open, staring at the ceiling with empty, dead eyes. Jungkook doesn’t care when Anna runs to him, sobbing, calling for him, trying to shake him awake.
“We’re going,” Jungkook announces to Yoongi, who finally seems a little less angry with him.
He doesn’t look back at Anna as he walks away.
You rub your wrists, then your shoulders after Yoongi has cut you free. Jungkook doesn’t say anything about it, just sits back in the luxurious car. You thought he would look content, happy with himself. He doesn’t.
When the car stops in front of your building, you’re not sure what to do. Part of you still can’t believe he’s letting you live.
“We’ll come and get you tomorrow to get things started,” Jungkook informs you while staring out the window. “You know, you probably should have moved two years ago,” he adds, and for some reason, that really rubs you the wrong way.
“I changed the locks,” you answer, and he grins.
“You still haven’t figured out how I did it, right?”
You frown. You haven’t.
He looks genuinely pleased by that.
“What should I call you?” you ask. “Do you want to be the new Mr. X?”
He growls at the suggestion, but seriously thinks about your question.
“Call me— Call me Mr. Jeon,” he decides spontaneously, without explaining his decision, and you nod. This should help make things more professional, isn’t if this isn’t actually a professional setting.
“Fine, Mr. Jeon. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You’re pleased to find that your voice is back to normal, calm and even, not letting anyone know of whatever you’re feeling.
Except Jungkook and Yoongi can probably hear how fast your heart is still beating, but that’s a problem you’ll have to deal with some other time.
You step out, and linger there a second too long, the door open. Finally, you gather the courage to turn around and look at Jungkook.
“Why are you back?”
You mean a lot by that. In the city, sure, but also in that setting. You’d always thought— you’d always thought Jungkook was better than that. You’d always thought he should get the opportunity to get away and he’d be fine. That’s something you can’t shake away, can’t push under the rug.
He couldn’t escape.
He stares at you blankly.
“Where else am I supposed to go?”
Then he leans in and closes the door, and you’re left alone on the pavement.
Tagging list: @chaiwivluv @mintyrae
#jungkook x reader#bts#bts x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bts fanfic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst#jungkook#jeon jungkook#hybrid jungkook#bts mafia au#bts hybrid au#can you tell that jungkook isn't okay?#jungkook isn't okay#hope you'll like it!#candywrites
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I am briefly pausing my normal RWBY content to talk about something completely different: Kang Soo-Jin.
I binged True Beauty recently. As in, “I haven’t managed to watch anything new in half a year, discovered this drama, and promptly marathoned 14+ hours of content,” so to say I’m enjoying it is an understatement. I might do another post sometime about why I think the show works so well, but for now, like many (drama only) viewers, I’m specifically grappling with Soo-Jin’s descent into antagonist territory. At first I was just as shocked and disappointed as others seem to be, but upon reflection I don’t think this is badly written in the way many fans are claiming. To frame this as, “I can’t believe they would make wonderful Soo-Jin suddenly OOC and bully Ju-Kyung over a guy!” is ignoring core parts of her character. I’m as sick of the girl-hates-girl-over-guy plotline as the next viewer, but in the interest of acknowledging that there are exceptions to every rule, I think this is one of the times where that choice makes perfect sense.
Soo-Jin has been abused throughout her life and I’m not simply talking about the fact that her father hits her. Though that’s obviously horrific, what I think is more pertinent to this conversation is the intense competitiveness her parents have instilled in her. The physical abuse comes about because Soo-Jin fails (in their eyes) to be the best, which is where Ju-Kyung comes in. The Soo-Jin we knew in earlier episodes wasn’t faking. She isn’t an inherently evil person who was just waiting for the right time to show her true colors. Rather, at the start of the story Ju-Kyung—crucially—was not in competition with Soo-Jin. Or rather, Soo-Jin did not perceive her as competition. She’s after the best grades in the school and Ju-Kyung is notoriously at the bottom of the class. All she has going for her are her (new) looks and her easy-going personality that makes her popular, two things that Soo-Jin isn’t interested in. Even if she were, those things already come naturally to her too. She’s already friends with Soo-A and, as is commented on multiple times, naturally beautiful without any makeup on. Soo-Jin has been taught—literally had it beaten into her—that she must be the best and in the beginning of the show she pretty much is: popular, mature, confident, smart… just not the smartest in her class. Ju-Kyung doesn’t threaten any of that, so friendship initially comes easily for Soo-Jin, the sort of friendship that allows her to chase perverts off busses or hide her friend’s real face.
This changes once Soo-Jin’s “perfect” mask begins to slip. They’re heading towards college, she’s running out of time, and she still hasn’t managed to take the top spot in the class. Worse, she drops out of the top ten. This exacerbates the abuse to the point where, as we see, she’s constantly in the bathroom trying to cope by washing her hands. Any tiny deviation from that “perfection” — like, say, leaving your tutoring session when you realize your lifelong friend just got devastating news — results in the sort of yelling/physical abuse she can only escape from via a locked door. While things get worse on her end, they get better on Ju-Jyung’s. Her grades go up some and she becomes even more popular, attracting not only school-wide attention, but the attention of the two hottest guys too, including Soo-Ho. For a while this is still fine from Soo-Jin’s perspective, but things really take a turn when Ju-Kyung changes Soo-Ho. Meaning, she helps him come out of his shell and teaches him how to be a kinder person… which includes being a better friend to Soo-Jin. The Soo-Ho who suddenly lies and announces that they have to go study just to get Soo-Jin away from her father’s insults, all of it stemming from a small tick he paid attention to, or comforting her while she sobs over the abuse… that Soo-Ho didn’t exist at the story’s start. He was too wrapped up in his own grief and has been that way for a long time. They may have known each other since childhood, but Soo-Jin and Soo-Ho don’t appear to be particularly close in the past—all Soo-Ho’s flashbacks are with Seo-Joon and Se-Yeon. But that starts to change once Soo-Ho himself changes. Soo-Jin’s ability to keep it together is unraveling, Soo-Ho is opening up and becoming more emotionally available (something Soo-Jin even comments on), then her whole class starts eagerly talking up how good they would be as a couple… so Soo-Jin sees a lifeline. Soo-Ho will care for her even when no one else will. Of course he will. She’s already seen him be that person multiple times.
The problem is that Soo-Ho has his own life and his own problems to grapple with. Between grief over See-Yeon, panic over telling Ju-Kyung how he feels, and the initial rush of dating—what couple doesn’t want to spend all their time together at the start?—he doesn’t have much energy for Soo-Jin. Which from his perspective is fine. They don’t normally hang out together outside of study groups, so yeah, he can put off a conversation with her… not realizing that Soo-Jin is now putting all her emotional eggs in his basket. By the time her feelings are coming to light, Soo-Jin is actively sabotaging her own attempts to get attention and compassion from Soo-Jin. By manipulating them—here’s a new scrunchy to remind you that you’re my best friend and you can’t ever betray me, here I am showing up unannounced at your apartment and guilting you into not spending more time with me, etc.—Soo-Jin has put Soo-Ho (rightfully) on his guard. He’s wary of having a private conversation with her about something she won’t name when he knows Ju-Kyung has been a mess over losing her friendship. He has no desire to listen to her confession of love after she’s just tossed Ju-Kyung’s beloved necklace into the fire. In her efforts to ensure that Soo-Ho pays attention to her, she only succeeds in driving him away.
All of which makes Ju-Kyung the enemy in her eyes. The new competition. To her mind, friendship and love cannot co-exist because Ju-Kyung stands in the way of that love, therefore one has got to go. (In contrast Seo-Joon, coming from a loving family, is in time better able to accept that he can be friends with Soo-Ho even though he likes Ju-Kyung. We can discuss the problems inherent in giving one plot to the girl and the other to the guy, but as they are, these characters have concrete, in-world reasons for their different reactions to what’s essentially the same situation.) And why does love (“love”) win out over friendship? Because Soo-Jin has latched onto Soo-Ho being her boyfriend as the way to finally “win” at life and fix all her problems. It’s fine if she’s not the best provided she’s dating the best, just look at how much Dad fawned over him. Second place academically is suddenly an option provided the top student is on her team, so to speak. The fact that Soo-Ho is also one of the most handsome, a great athlete, super rich, and one of the few people to provide her with feelings of safety certainly doesn’t hurt matters. And the only thing that stands in her way of securing this life-saving “win” is Ju-Kyung. Who is she? No one compared to Soo-Jin. Her grades are terrible. She’s not wealthy. She’s pretty… but oh, only with her makeup on.
Soo-Jin doesn’t need makeup, so why not win this competition by showing the whole school—showing Soo-Ho—what a fraud Ju-Kyung is?
From Soo-Jin’s perspective she’s done the math and come out on top. Everything that (supposedly) matters she either has equal to Ju-Kyung, or is superior, therefore it’s obvious that Soo-Ho would choose her in the end. She says at much: If I had confessed first you would have loved me first, so now that I have confessed you’ll break up with her. Hell, even Ju-Kyung believes this. She has the nightmare about Soo-Ho learning that Soo-Jin has feelings for him and immediately, publicly breaking up with her. After all, if he suddenly has both as an option the winner is obvious, right? It’s all about competition, what they’ve been taught to believe is a competition: Ju-Kyung through her bullying and Soo-Jin through her abuse. The difference is that Ju-Kyung has had the whole series with Soo-Ho (and others) helping her slowly unlearn this mentality. Soo-Jin had the rug pulled out from under her in an instant.
Soo-Ho says no, I wouldn’t have loved you if you had confessed first and I’m not going to date you now. It’s important to realize that this shatters Soo-Jin’s entire world. It’s not about a girl being upset that she can’t get the guy — not even about Soo-Ho as an individual, really — it’s about an abused girl not knowing how to grapple with the fact that she finally did everything “right” and still couldn’t “win,” coupled with losing the last bit of security she had. Soo-Ho broke the unspoken rules Soo-Jin’s father beat into her and she doesn’t know where to go from there. She literally has no one else to turn to. So she falls back on the only way she does know how to handle a situation like this: by still trying to win. If Soo-Ho won’t admit that she’s better, she’ll force him to realize that by plastering Ju-Kyung’s “ugly” face all over social media. Which, to be clear, isn’t an excuse. This isn’t meant to be a way of absolving Soo-Jin of her absolutely horrific actions, only a means of explaining them. Her descent, while shocking to those of us who loved her initial character, is well written because it’s a nuanced look at what can happen when you abuse a kid her whole life and teach her that competition is everything. Oddly enough, she’ll apply a competitive outlook to everything and deal with her stress in unhealthy ways. Ju-Kyung is a victim of Soo-Jin now, but Soo-Jin is a victim too. Her home life has ensured that she does not know how to accept failure—or what true failure even means—so it was inevitable that when things got bad, she’d try to fix it in ways that hurt both her and those around her. It’s all she knows how to do.
So far less “Perfect girl goes ooc and abandons her friend over a boy” and far more “Abused girl falls into a terrible, but predictable cycle that the other stressed high schoolers around her are not equipped to break.” Soo-Jin’s story isn’t bad writing, it’s tragic. Thanks for coming to my three page TED talk ✌️
***
2/4/21 FINALE UPDATE!
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A Companion for Loneliness 1/2
Summary: Tommy is lonely, so Phil takes the advice of Tommy’s therapist and gets him a pet.
Warnings: Dehuminization (treating people like pets)
Word Count: 2234
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Phil hung up the phone and let out a long sigh, hanging his head. The call from his boss, about having to work longer hours, was a good thing money wise. Especially since his boss guaranteed he’d be paid overtime for the longer hours. What it wasn’t good for was his son.
Now Tommy was old enough to take care of himself. The fifteen year old reminded him of that everyday, calling himself a big man and other such similar things. But, though Tommy didn’t admit it, Phil knew that he got lonely when Phil was out all day and night at his job. And especially now that it was summer, Tommy no longer had school to distract him from that loneliness.
Phil was hoping to spend more time with Tommy during the summer but with his increase in hours, that wasn’t going to be possible. It wouldn’t be so bad if Tommy had friends to hang out with but…
Of course, that wasn’t Tommy’s fault. But it made Phil feel even worse about not being able to be there for his son.
His phone rang again, pulling Phil out of his thoughts. He glanced at the caller ID before answering it. “Hey Puffy,” Tommy’s therapist was a wonderful young woman and had helped Tommy a lot. Tommy didn’t see her as often anymore but Puffy always made sure to call every once in a while to see how things were going. Phil appreciated it and he knew Tommy did too.
“Hey Mr. Minecraft! Just checking in. How is Tommy doing? Summer should be starting soon, right?” Puffy asked, cheerful as always.
“Yeah, it just started actually. And Tommy’s...good.” The silence he received made Phil wince.
“And how is Tommy actually doing?” Puffy asked, tone softer this time. Phil sighed. He really couldn’t get anything past Puffy. Not that he was really trying to but still.
“He is doing well at the moment but I just received some news from my work. I...They need me to put in extra hours. The money will be great for us but--” He was cut off.
“But Tommy will be left all alone.”
Phil shut his eyes, using his free hand to rub at them. “Yeah. For the most part. And I hate doing that to him but there really isn’t anything I can do about it.”
“...Have you thought about getting Tommy a pet?” Puffy said suddenly and Phil opened his eyes again, blinking.
“A pet?”
“Yeah, ya know, a companion to keep Tommy company and distracted while you're gone. Pets are wonderful for that sort of thing.” Puffy explained. Phil had never thought about that before, mostly because he never really cared for having a pet in the first place. But if it was to help Tommy…
“So, should I get him a dog? Or would a cat be better? A hamster?” What pet would be best for Tommy?
“Actually, for Tommy, I was thinking more along the lines of a borrower.”
“A borrower?” Phil didn’t pay much attention to things happening around the world but even he had heard about the discovery of borrowers several years ago. They were huge back then but the hype had died down over the years. They were still fairly popular but the novelty had long since worn off. “Why a borrower for Tommy?”
“Well, unlike other pets, they can actually have conversations with us.” Puffy said and, well, she had a really good point there. “It might be good for Tommy to be able to talk with someone. My nephew recently got his own pet borrower and he loves him and my son has had one for years. They make great companions, in ways a dog or cat can’t be. I think one would be perfect for Tommy.”
Phil had been nodding along, a smile slowly creeping onto his face. It really did sound perfect. A pet that would not only distract Tommy but one he could also speak to and hang out with.
“I think I’ll take you up on your advice Puffy, thank you so much.” Phil could hear the smile on Puffy’s face as he spoke back.
“That’s what I’m here for! Literally. Anyway, let me know how it goes and I wish you luck in picking one out for Tommy. Oh and I would stick to males when picking out a borrower and either around Tommy’s age or a bit older. It’ll hopefully make it easier for Tommy to connect with a borrower like that.”
Phil nodded despite knowing Puffy couldn’t see him. “Thank you Puffy. Talk to you later.”
“Bye Mr. Minecraft!” And with that, Puffy hung up. Phil placed his phone down on his desk, feeling better about the whole situation. He glanced at the time and went to grab his keys.
He started working again tomorrow, so he might as well go out and get Tommy that borrower while he could.
***
Phil entered the pet store, looking around to try and see where they kept their borrowers. He must have looked as lost as he felt though, as an employee came up to him with a smile on her face. Her name tag read Niki.
“Hello sir, is there anything I could help you with today?” Her voice was cheerful and authentic. It made Phil smile.
“Yes, actually. Um, I’m here to buy my fifteen year old son a borrower.” Phil said and he almost missed the way Niki shifted and tensed up slightly at the mention of a borrower. But as quickly as it came it went and Niki was back to her relaxed self. Phil must have imagined it.
“Of course! Right this way, I’ll show you our selection of borrowers.” Niki started walking towards the back of the store and Phil followed, looking down the aisles as they passed them. Finally, Niki turned into one and Phil followed, seeing the rows of cages filled with borrowers. Though, there weren't as many as Phil would have first thought.
“Our selection in this store is a little small but you should be able to find one here.” Niki said with a smile. Phil glanced around at the cages, biting his lip at all the choices. How was he supposed to pick?
“You said this was for your son, right?” Niki chimed in again and Phil’s gaze landed back on her as he nodded.
“Yeah, my job is keeping me extra long this summer and my son...doesn’t really have any friends. He gets lonely, though he won’t admit it, and I feel bad for leaving him. His therapist is the one who suggested I get him a borrower, actually.” Phil explained.
“I see.” Niki hummed. Phil noticed how her gaze had softened though it was weird considering Phil hadn’t noticed her tense before. “Well, I have to go back to the front but there are a few borrowers in that last cage at the end of the aisle that might catch your eye.” She pointed at said cage, gave Phil a smile and then walked past him to head back up to the front.
Phil watched her go and then turned back towards the cage she had pointed at. He headed over that way, glancing into the cage once he came upon it. There were about five in this one cage and Phil looked them all over. A couple seemed to simply ignore him, while one seemed to try and make itself smaller and another refused to even look at him.
The fifth one though, was actually actively glaring at him.
Phil blinked, meeting that one's gaze. It was hard to make out the finer details of his face from the corner he was sitting in but he was clearly tall for a borrower, or at least, compared to the others in the cage with him, and his hair sat in a similar way to Tommy’s but was brown instead of blond.
In fact, though Phil couldn’t quite place why, this borrower reminded him a lot of Tommy right off the bat. Maybe it was the fire behind that glare or even just the hair, but it was there and Phil couldn’t ignore it.
“Hello mate,” He said in greeting, smiling softly and ignoring the glare. The borrower jumped slightly but his glare only hardened. “What’s your name?”
“F*** off.” The borrower spat out and Phil’s eyes widened. He was reminded of Tommy more by the second.
Well, that had been easier than Phil thought.
He stood up straight and walked away, ignoring the confused look the borrower had sent him. When he came back with Niki, the borrower’s eyes widened and he hurried to a stand. “Oh f*** no.”
“I had a feeling you’d take a liking to Wilbur.” Niki said with a smile towards Phil.
“Wilbur?” Phil asked for clarification and Niki nodded.
“That’s his name. Wilbur Soot, 22 years old. He was caught and brought into this pet store around 6 months ago.” Niki explained and then turned her attention to said borrower. “Hey Wilbur, it looks like today is the day.”
Wilbur shook his head, looking panicked. “N-No! What the hell, Niki?!”
Phil glanced between the two, confused. Niki let out a little sigh and sent a sad smile towards Phil. “Sorry, he’s just nervous.” She turned back to Wilbur. “Trust me Wil, this will be good for you.” Phil watched as she reached in and wrapped her hand around the borrower. Said borrower squirmed and tried to fight his way out of the grip but it proved fruitless. Niki brought him out of the large cage, only to place him into the smaller one she had brought with her from the front.
Once he was locked inside, he was handed over to Phil. “Alright, let’s go and get the payment all settled.” Niki said and Phil nodded, following her once again back towards the front. He handed his card over once Niki took to the register and Niki started the payment process.
“Were you getting anything else today?” Niki asked, she was still smiling but it was a little less wide than before. Phil blinked at the question, glancing down at the borrower in the small cage. He was still being glared at but now the little guy was curled in on himself near the center of the cage.
“Um...should I be getting something else? Sorry, this was sort of a last minute thing. What exactly do borrowers need?” Phil asked, feeling sheepish at his lack of knowledge. Thankfully, Niki’s understanding gaze made him feel better.
“Well, honestly, they don’t need a lot. Or, at least, they don’t need a lot of things that you need to buy. They eat human food just fine, so no need to waste money on that. I would recommend a borrower bed for him to sleep in though. And a collar for if he gets lost but those aren’t required.” Niki explained and Phil nodded along.
“That sounds good. Could you throw in a borrower bed and I’ll go ahead and take the collar too.” Phil said and Niki nodded, fetching the items and placing them in a small bag. She then rang up the order and Phil was hesitant to see the price. But when it appeared on screen his eyes widened. It wasn’t nearly as much as he would have thought.
“Here you go.” She handed over the bag, which Phil took and picked back up the cage that he had placed on the counter.
“Thank you so much for your help.” Phil said and Niki grinned.
“Of course, if you need anything again, I’m happy to help!” They waved goodbye and then Phil was out the door.
He got into his car but hesitated placing Wilbur down into the front seat. He looked down at the borrower, noticing how the little guy hadn’t moved much from his earlier position but now he seemed to be refusing to look at him. He looked sad and it made Phil’s heart melt just a little bit.
“Hey mate,” He spoke and Wilbur’s head snapped up to look at him. The glare was back but it was less intense this time, another emotion that Phil couldn’t quite pinpoint getting in the way of the heat. “Just thought I should explain. I’m getting you for my son, Tommy. He’s fifteen and doesn’t have any friends. His therapist suggested I get him a borrower, so here we are.”
Wilbur’s expression dropped and Phil suddenly felt the need to reassure him. “Don’t worry though, Tommy is a good kid and I’m sure he’ll love you. You’ll be just fine.” Satisfied with that amount of reassurance, Phil put Wilbur’s cage down and locked it into place with the seatbelt, just in case.
Once he was sure the cage and the borrower inside were secure, Phil started up the car. He glanced at the time and hummed to himself. “Should probably pick up some dinner on the way home.” He’d pick up Tommy’s favorite, to try and further ease the pain the news of him working extra hours would bring. Hopefully the food and the new pet will be enough for Tommy.
“Don’t worry mate, we’ll be home soon.” He spoke aloud to Wilbur again, for some extra reassurance before backing out of the parking space and rolling out of the parking lot.
#g/t#giant/tiny#mcyt g/t#dsmp g/t#au#borrowers#borrower!wilbur#human!phil#human!tommy#i don't really like the title#but oh well
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That’s What Makes Us Heroes and Villains
All the way back in the aftermath of the Stain Arc, Dabi and Himiko were the first new recruits introduced for the League of Villains. The three of them together, Shigaraki, Dabi, and Himiko are a trio. Effectively the three main characters of the villain side of the story. They are all three of them, traumatized children who were thrown out by society, and are now fighting back against it. They’ve been pushed out further and further until all three of them came to the same conclusion: Heroes are in the way.
Dabi: “There are no true Heroes.”
Shigaraki: “You heroes hurt your own families just to help complete strangers.”
Toga: “You heroes mess everything up.”
All three of them are children screaming the same thing at the heroes, trying to get somebody to listen only to be ignored. Shigaraki, Dabi, Himiko were all driven to become villains because of hero society. They became villains because heroes existed in the first place.
A meta on the villain trio under the cut.
1. Monsters
Shigaraki, Dabi, and Himiko are all introduced to us as monstrous villains who slowly become human over time. Their development is effectively then in reverse of the main heroes. The heroes we sympathize with right away because they’re introduced to us as innocent kids. We see the villains as violent monsters first before the curtain is pulled back and it’s revealed they started out as children all along.
When the three are introduced they have no affection for one another. Shigaraki even calls them “the two types I hate most.” There’s no trust, as the first thing the three do is try to kill each other.
We’re introduced to them at their lowest point. All three of them are in a bad place effectively. Himiko has been on the run for months, Dabi has been who knows where, and Shigaraki has had two successive failures in his attacks on both Stain and USJ.
Their cooperation in the Camp Raid arc is begrudging at best. This goes for the whole league of villains, (Spinner and Magne end up making things harder for each other, Several members get captured) they seem to be working against each other as much as they are working together.
Shigaraki, Dabi and Himiko were all effectively traumatized by the same thing, being cast out from hero society. However, in this arc they all have vastly different desires that make working together difficult. Dabi wants to fulfill Stain’s Will, Shigaraki wants to take down All Might and Hero Society at large to show how fragile it is, Himiko wants to take down Hero Society for the sake of her easier life.
They are not at this point motivated to work together at all and it shows in their cooperation.Dabi doesn’t really make any attempt to lead. Shigaraki just watches from the sidelines and sends out other people on a mission where he doesn’t really care much if they succeed or fail. Himiko doesn’t try that hard to complete her mission objective because at this point all she cares about is her own survival.
However after the defeat of All for One, the league of villains ends up all experiencing the same traumatizing loss together. They all become disenfranchised, living off of no money, and constantly having to be on the run. They lose all of their resources. However, as a reuslt their bonds with one another are strengthened and they really are working together for the first time.
Himiko isn’t just looking out for herself anymore. Not only does she not run away when things get hard, but she encourages Twice to do the same because she empathizes with his feelings.
Shigaraki goes from ordering people around in the shadows to not only meeting with his comrades face to face. He also has become the type of fighter who jumps straight into enemy fire on the front line for the sake of his comrades, using his own body as a distraction so he could work together with Compress and Dabi.
And remember, Dabi’s flames physically destroy his body every time he uses them. Yet, he respects Shigaraki’s leadership enough that he goes all out for the sake of the league when he’s asked to. If Dabi didn’t care about the league at all, he probably wouldn’t be constantly burning himself alive for their sakes.
All three humanize one another through their relationships with each other, Shigaraki values his comrades lives more than his own, Dabi cooperates with other people for the sake of his goal, Himiko’s empathic side began to show all because the three of them were for the first time surrounded by people who were just like them.
When shown empathy and understanding, Dabi, Shigaraki and Himiko all improve as people. They are not lost causes the plot has shown us the opposite, they’re capable of growing and changing. However, they are just as capable of GETTING WORSE.
2. Bad Children
Shigaraki, Himiko and Dabi all share the same origin. They were pushed to become villains because of what happened to them as children. They are the only three members of the league who have been shown as children, deliberately so, because the fact that this happened to them as children is what is so important to their narratives.
Himiko was born with a weird quirk, and that was it. She didn’t even show problematic behavior that far off of most children (most children don’t have the empathy to know that say, small animals will suffer pain if you hurt them) before her parents started to punish her. Tenko just wanted to be a hero and had a father with a grudge against heros when his punishment started. When he was in the streets begging for help the only thing he was guilty of was having a quirk that activated on accident. Touya was bred by his father for the purpose of his quirk, and because of that had to grow up in a household where his mother was constantly crying and his father either ignored him as a failed experiment, or paid attention to him which would have made his life even worse.
It’s not just a sad backstory for all three of them, it’s a case of systemic failure. Systems that should have protected them did not. The reason we’re shown this happening to them when they were children before they did anything wrong was that the narrative most heroes have is villains choose to be evil and there’s no helping it.
However, this happened to Dabi, Shigaraki and Himiko through no choice of their own. They were all helpless children when they survived these circumstances. The argument that “They could have tried to endure and become heroes” doesn’t work either, because all three of them did try to endure.
They all at one time or another made an attempt to be good children. They tried to reach their parent’s expectations for them. They tried to swallow up the abuse that was hurled on them and live with other people.
They were all children who were being abused, and told to just go on with their lives, told not to cry, told to suck it up. Instead of trying to fix or even address the circumstances of their abuse all of their pain was effectively ignored. Shigaraki, Himiko, being children DID TRY to live exactly as the adults told them to. They tried to be “Good Children” under the standards of adults, and they couldn’t be.
That’s the reality of living in an abusive household like the one Tenko grew up in. No matter what he had done, he would have been punished. He was the problem child, the scapegoat for his father’s abuse. Rather than tell the father to stop abusing the child, the child is held responsible for the behavior and told that they were at fault for provoking punishment.
Before you use Shoto as an example of still wanting to be a hero after enduring abuse, here’s the difference. Shoto didn’t die. Touya did.
All three of them were cast out before they did anything wrong. Are they still responsible for the choices they made as adults? Yes. However, I think it’s important to acknowledge that all three of these characters did attempt to try making the right choices and they still got cast out anyway. It’s not because they were good or bad children. It’s because society was designed to reject people like them.
RHA TRANSLATION: That’s how the muck gets cast out. That’s how they break and retaliate. That’s how it loops back, again, and again, and again.
The translations are radically different this week I’m not sure which one is right, but they are vaguely talking about the same cycle. Shigaraki, Dabi, Himiko were rejected before they did anything wrong. They were forced to endure all of this as children. They gained power to survive and began to fight back. They retaliated against the violence done to them as children as adults. Then, they are punished again.
It is a cycle where both people are acting badly. Shigaraki, Himiko, and Dabi drag innocent people into the conflict, because all they can think of to wake people up to the reality of their suffering is to make them endure the same. To show the world the violence they’ve endured on a mass scale, until it becomes impossible for those who are sheltered and protected by society, those who are saved to ignore the problems of those who aren’t saved. Shigaraki, Dabi and Himiko get innocent people involved it’s true.
HOWEVER. Were they not innocents at any point? Were they not just children who had not done anything wrong?
And we return to the Tenko household. Shigaraki, Himiko, Dabi are all responsible for their violent reactions to the problem, that was the choice they made. However, they weren’t the ones who created the situation in the first place.
Villains are held as responsible for all of society’s ills. We are told by heroes that villains choose to become evil, and that the only way to stop them is to violently suppress their activities. However all of these villains for the most part, are outcasts who hold no real power in society, and all have yes made choices to retaliate violently but were also pushed into those choices.
The society around them is designed to exclude people like Shigaraki, Himiko and Dabi. THE PROBLEM ELEMENT, is ignored rather than addressed.
What Shigaraki is saying here is that heroes don’t protect the people most in need of their protection, the biggest victims. They are designed to protect a status quo.
Heroes protect the institutions that are already in place, no matter how cracked or flawed those institutions are. they keep them in place. They are fighting to preserve a power structure that keeps heroes in power. The ones who have the power in society are the heroes. The ones who create society are the heroes. The ones who create the situation are the heroes. The villains in MHA are reacting to the problem, but they didn’t create the problem.
3. Twice
Dabi, Shigaraki and Himiko all have an incredibly important relationship to Twice. Dabi shows up to try to save Twice, even though he states he doesn’t care about the league. Himiko opens up to Twice and empathizes with him. Shigaraki goes to save Giran because Twice asked him to, and opened up to his team for the first time because of Twice’s begging and pleas.
The scene we see play out with Twice is what happened to Shigaraki, Himiko and Dabi as well. Twice is given an impossible choice. He can conform and sacrifice all of his friends to go with Hawks, or he can die right here. Once again, yes it is a choice. I must emphasize everything is a choice. The choice to retaliate is still a choice even if it’s influenced by the environment. However, this is a choice effectively made with a gun to Twice’s head.
What’s interesting is, when given the choice between betraying the people closest to him or getting shot in the head. Twice chooses to take the bullet.
As I said everything is a choice. Even an influenced choice is a choice. If someone is holding a gun to your head, you can just choose to die. You might be stuck in a situation where there are only bad choices, but it’s still a choice you make.
I emphasize choices over and over again, because somebody chose to make the world this way.
They exist in a system where villains are held accountable for all of their violence, their choices, and heroes are not. Heroes can effectively get away with murder as we’ve been shown with Hawks and Tokoyami.
I’d also like to emphasize that the villains make these choices while directly facing all of the flaws of society. The heroes for the most part are completely ignorant to the suffering of villains. We are shown this ignorance again and again. The villains attempt to explain themselves, their motivations and reasonings, and every time they are literally ignored.
Heroes and Villains both make choices, but Heroes are completely blind to their own faults. When they are told about the cracks of society by people who have lived through that, they effectively ignore the role they had to play in it. Twice tries to explain he can’t betray his friends to Hawks, that they’re all capable of being good people and he gets ignored. Shigaraki explains to Endeavor that his father told him heroes hurt their own families, he gets ignored. Endeavor’s case is especially EGREGIOUS. Endeavor who should be more aware of his own flaws than anybody else, still pretends to be the perfect faultless hero.
Heroes and Villains are both responsible for creating this flawed world, but the villains are held responsible, and the heroes are not. Heroes are given special privilege in society, Villains are mostly made up by the underprivileged and cast out. Society, is intentionally designed to divide up people like this and categorize one over the other.
And I think it’s especially important that every time Shigaraki tries to get someone to listen to him he gets told the same thing. Endeavor believes he is a good person fighting to protect others. He claims that he is the hero, fighting against someone who only hollowly wishes to destroy. Shigaraki tries to explain himself, he even makes a reference to familial abuse which Endeavor SHOULD RECOGNIZE and Endeavor’s response is to tell him to shut up and die.
Shigaraki, Dabi, and Himiko are wrong for violently retaliating, but every time they make any attempt to explain themselves they’re rejected just as violently. They are told, like they were when they were just children, to just shut up and take it. Shigaraki is told by Nana, Endeavor, Gran Torino everyone around him to die rather than fight back, is it no wonder he believes the whole system rejects him?
It is an unfair system to begin with, deliberately designed to uplift a few people into privilege and cast others out.
Heroes act like the few people who don’t get saved are just bad luck, but it’s not. Good social programs would have saved Twice. Social services would have saved Himiko. All Might realizing Endeavor was an abusive jerk would have saved Touya. If Gran Torino had checked up on Nana’s child, Shigaraki would not have happened.
All of these kids “just got unlucky” except the society they live in was designed to outcast certain people like them from the start. It’s meant to let people fall through the cracks. In each case it wasn’t bad luck, but rather intentional neglect of all parties involved.
Twice is told what happened to him was bad luck, but Twice didn’t slip and fall on a knife. He was put into the situation intentionally by Hawks. Hawks singled him out, targeted him, pushed him to the breaking point, and then killed him. The one who had power and the upper hand in that situation was Hawks from the start, but Twice is blamed for his own death for merely fighting back.
The connection between Shigaraki, Dabi, and Himiko is that they’re pushed to become more and more radical over time. Himiko had killed a few people yeah, but she wasn’t a terrorist on a mass scale.
Dabi had no criminal record when he started. He only started killing people to make the news when his father became the number one hero. The more they are rejected, the more radical they become.
All three of them have become radicalized by the death of Twice, and all three say effectively the same thing.
Dabi: “There are no true Heroes.”
Shigaraki: “You heroes hurt your own families just to help complete strangers.”
Toga: “You heroes mess everything up.”
Why do they blame heroes? It’s because heroes are the guardians of the society that rejects them. Heroes do not protect people, they protect systems and structures first and foremost. The heroes aren’t coming to save them and they never were.
#shigaraki tomura#himiko toga#dabi#todoroki touya#shimura tenko#league of villains meta#shigaraki meta#dabi meta#himiko meta#lov meta#mha meta#my hero academia meta#my hero academia theory#bnha 281#bnha 281 spoilers#mha 281#mha 281 spoilers
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-Hotel For Demons- (Intro)
Pairing: eventual ot7 x reader; the first few chapters are very Yoongi x reader centric.
Warnings/tags: Stripping, teasing, gambling, mentions of some dark/mob activity
( eventual )Smut-angst-fluff
Summary: You work as a stripper at an extremely secretive casino resort that caters to people of a dark nature. You are used to strange and ignoring your fears. Yet one night a man, more scary and more intriguing than any other seems to grow fond of you while you dance. You play a game with him that takes you away from everything you’ve known and into an even darker world than you’d ever known...and now he’s calling you his wife.
a/n: (this is very unedited sry for typos and things if they appear) taken some inspiration from the anime ‘Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits.’ It starts out a bit dark but it's going to be a lot more lighthearted in some chapters. Once I get the initial set up to the story, this fic will just be a bunch of short episode like stories with y/n having different moments with each member or a few members, not always directly connected to future chapters or the chapter before, just set in the same world. Let me know what you think!!
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It felt to the men in the crowd like they were hypnotized watching you.
You were the one hypnotized though, by the music, and by the thudding of the bass in rap song you’d picked for your dance vibrating through the club.
You could feel it in your chest, each thump pushing your hips forward as you grinded against the pole, sticking your ass out as you jumped onto the pole and spun. You swore you heard one man in the crowd gasp as you did.
The purple stage lights flashed to blue as the song hit a slower beat. You slid down the pole slowly, your hands gently moving down to the floor with the rest of your body.
As you continued on with your floor work you could practically feel the eyes of one man in particular sitting on you with an almost unblinking stare.
You could only see his eyes, the lower half of his face was covered by a black mask with a pattern that made it look like blood was dripping all over it in a very cartoonish way.
It wasn’t uncommon for people to wear masks like that here, but his was quite an interesting choice.
You could see bits of black hair peeking through his black jacket’s hood, which was also strange. He seemed so secretive with his appearance. Maybe that's what was giving him the confidence to stare at you so obviously.
Most men tended to get shy when you stared them down.
No...maybe he really hadn’t blinked once…
You realized you’d been focusing on him a bit too long and quickly danced your way to facing away from him.
Though you couldn’t escape the powerful gaze that you felt on your backside the entire time.
You knew the ending of your song was coming up and you took to the pole again to finish the dance.
It might have been obvious to everyone in the club that whether it was intentional or subconscious, you had started dancing for him.
When you ended your dance, the last step you took had you facing right at him, chest heaving from putting a bit of extra effort into your moves than usual.
You weren’t sure why, it didn’t make sense. You never usually got this worked up over someone in the audience, but his attention was exciting.
Some men clapped, and a few threw some money on the stage. You gave a twinkle wave to no one in general as you turned to walk back to the dressing rooms behind the stage.
The girl that would come out and collect your money off the stage for you squeezed your shoulder as you walked by and gave you a smile.
“I haven’t seen you perform like that in forever!” she praised loudly over the song that was playing while they set up for the next dancer.
You mouthed a thank you and from the corner of your eye you caught the mysterious man standing up from the table and leaving.
Your heart dropped a little bit. You had a second song still later that a part of you had hoped he’d have stuck around for. He hadn’t even paid you. He paid the entry fee to enter the strip club area of the casino resort, bought one drink, watched just your song, and left.
It was strange.
You were used to odd people. Sometimes even dangerous people. The casino you worked at catered to a very particular crowd of very rich men.
They weren’t the type of rich men you’d see on the news or in magazines. They were all a very secretive type. You were told when you’d been hired two years ago that you weren’t ever to ask the men about what they did for a living.
It always made you wonder, but it never bothered you. The amount of money in their wallets was enough to make you not need to read too deeply into any of it. Why mess up a good thing.
It's not that you only cared about money...but everyone has their amount. Everyone has a number to where they’ll turn their eyes the other way.
At least that's what your boss had told you the first time he’d sat you down in his office and handed you a blank check with his name already signed on it.
The day that you’d seen something that you never want to think about again.
Now you don’t have to.
Aside from the anomaly that was that man today, the diamonds on your wrists that would dance while you did were enough of a distraction from the things you’d seen.
With some of the things you’d witnessed go down in this casino you were glad that your number was as high as it was.
When it was well past 3 in the morning and your shift was done you put on your coat and began to walk towards the main entrance of the building to leave. Almost everyone besides those who worked there had left for the night, either returning to their hotel rooms or getting up to some business you’d rather not think about.
Just before you’d walked past the last of the blackjack tables you heard a voice call out to you.
“y/n right?”
A chill ran down your spine. You never used your real name at the club, it was a rule that you’d never tell customers your real name.
Your head whipped around to see that same man from earlier sat down alone at the table, shuffling through a deck of cards.
On closer look the cards were definitely not ones from your casino, almost as if he’d brought his own with him, another rule broken.
“No…” You lied. “You must be confused.”
You heard a chuckle from behind the mask. “I’m never confused. Sit down.”
He spoke so sternly and with a low gravel that spiked some fear into your body.
But you sat anyway. Maybe it was fear of what he’d do if you said no, but more likely it was that you were still wildly intrigued by this strange man.
“How do you know me?” You spoke as you sat down in the seat across from where he sat in the dealers chair.
“That's not important right now.” He muttered. “Want to play a game?” He spoke those words with such a smooth and beautiful compelling tone.
“Why not.” You decided, shifting in your seat and trying to get a better eye on the cards he was still shuffling through.
You wished you could see behind his mask, but all you could see was a mischievous glint in his eyes.
He laid out three cards in front of you face down. They were black with the images of blood dripping down them, the same as his mask.
“Pick one.” He demanded.
“Shouldn’t I know the rules first?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Rules don’t really matter here do they. Surely you know that better than anyone.” He replied.
“There are some rules that matter.” You debated. “Like you calling me by my real name.”
“Not to me.” He then tapped on the table in front of him with a closed fist. “Pick a card.”
You sighed and figured ‘What's the worst that could happen.’
You stared at the cards in front of you, not sure if it even made a difference which one you’d pick, but still, you studied them before finally pointing to the one in the middle.
He then reached out and flipped the card, revealing a very detailed drawing of two golden rings intertwined together.
He seemed to sigh a big exhale of relief.
“Good.” he muttered.
“That's good? For me, or you? What game are we playing here!” You were starting to get frustrated.
He then flipped over the other two cards, revealing one that was a painting of a gravestone, and one that was a painting of flames.
“Good for both of us.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice, though you were only growing more confused.
“Pick up your card. Don’t touch the other ones.” He ordered.
With a small huff you listened to him, grabbing the card with the rings on it.
“In both hands.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” he seemed to growl in an almost inhuman way.
Your fear now made your blood run cold, you didn’t want to anger him so you did as he said instantly.
As soon as you did, you felt a rush of wind hit you from behind. It was so strong the other two cards flew off the table. The man stood there with his arms crossed and started laughing a maniacal laugh.
The whole table then seemed to start to spin, you wanted to grip onto something but your hands seemed to be glued to the card you held.
Everything got faster and more blurry, everything except him. Before you could comprehend how, it seemed that the whole place you’d been in was starting to fade away into a bright white light.
As the spinning movements quickened you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and let out a small scream.
It only lasted a few more seconds before you felt everything still.
“Open your eyes.” His voice spoke to you much softer.
Slowly you did, opening up to a sight you were not expecting to see.
You were now in a large room with wooden floors and a wooden ceiling. Lots of art and architecture that seemed to be at least a thousand years before your own. It was very decorative and ornate, it seemed almost like a palace.
“Welcome to your home my wife.”
#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#ot7 x reader#yoongi angst#yoongi smut#yoongi fluff#ot7 smut#bts x reader#bts fanfic#bts angst#bts smut#bts fluff#bts fantasy#jungkook x reader#taehyung x reader#jimin x reader#namjoon x reader#hoseok x reader#seokjin x reader#bts imagines#bts series#yoongi x you#bts x you#bts x y/n#yoongi x y/n
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The Scars You Hide
Masterlist
We Meet Again | Next
Summary: After your meeting with Bakugou, you get an unexpected call to meet with someone else from your past. Is it possible to mend a relationship you weren’t sure was even there?
“Hey Mina, does Bakugou ever talk about me?” You asked, skimming through the clothing rack next to her with that wide smile you always seemed to have.
Her hands were filled with clothing items, and at your question she seemed to almost drop them. Her pink skin seemed to pale slightly as you watched a small sweat begin to breakout on your face, and in your heart you knew the truth. You couldn’t help but let your smile drop ever so slightly, but you gave a light laugh to calm her down and bring the mood back up.
“It’s okay, I know he probably doesn’t talk about me. . It was just worth a shot to ask.” You giggle falsely, feeling not a trace of humor in the feeling you got in the pit of your stomach. “Let’s go pay, my treat!” You repeated the words you said every time you went out with any one of your friends, the return for spending some time with you.
It was weird with Mina though, whenever you offered to pay it looked like she was conflicted. Her yellow eyes would soften like you spilled some said truth, but you never questioned it. That look scared you with the fear that she might be tired of you, so you’d ignore it for as long as you could. . .
“Ryu, how many times do I have to tell you not to use your quirk in the house!” You yelled to what seemed like thin air as your son clapped once again with another crayon in his hand.
When his little hands met, a small explosion went off that burned the crayon to ash and he sheepishly looked up at you from his spot next to the coffee table. Ryu was so much like his father that it bewildered you, he managed to be a carbon copy of someone he never even met. Not only did he steal most of Katsuki’s physical genetics, he acted nearly identical and had a variation of his quirk. You wondered if being quirkless was the reason all your genes seemed to fail to make the cut, but how could you be mad at that when you loved everything about the blonde little boy?
It would have been nice if he had a little less of Katsuki’s temper, though.
“Honestly, it’s like you want to see me go gray early,” you huffed and continued on your way to the laundry room with your basket full of clothes.
Seven years ago, doing laundry would have been a funny joke to you. There were maids that were perfectly capable and paid to do it for you, so there was virtually no point in learning. The only time you lifted a finger was for makeup and eating, that’s how your father preferred you to live. It was a big contrast to now, where you stood in leggings and an oversized band t-shirt doing every bit of the cleaning and laundry, for not only yourself, but also the six year old son that was never in the plans for your future. In fact, no part of the life you created for yourself was apart of the original plan.
Your phone rang as you finished putting in your first load into the washer, and you answered it without looking, propping the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you put on the proper settings. The unfamiliar voice you heard nearly made you jump since only a handful of people had your number.
“Hey,” the woman said with uncertainty clear in her tone.
“Hello. Who is this?” You asked straight to the point, still continuing your chores as you went from the laundry room to the living room where Ryu was now coloring peacefully and began picking up his mid placed toys.
“Oh it’s Mina. . Sorry for calling you out of the blue, but I was just wondering if you’d like to talk?”
You froze in place, immediately going into mental hyperdrive over all the things she could want to talk about, but none of them seemed reasonable. Neither of you had any contact after Katsuki told you the truth about everyone, you completely went off the grid and she went on with her life like everyone. It would make sense to come up with a bullshit excuse to get out of it. . . but then again it would be much easier to clean with someone entertaining Ryu.
“I’ll send you my address, we can talk here.”
“So. . he really is Bakugou’s kid.” Mina sweat dropped as you both watched him stand on top of the couch with two hero action figures in hand, one of them being Bakugou, yelling nonsense about how he can’t be beaten.
“HAHA! Not even Dynamight and Ignenium can stop this villain, but I will be victorious!”
‘Honestly, that whole strive for victory mindset could be Katsuki or my dad’s genetics.’
“Carbon copy with some tweaks,” you shrugged and continued on your way to your bedroom with your basket full of laundry.
Mina followed you through your small — but well decorated due to your mother — home looking as troubled as she was hesitant as she always did around you. It still bothered you like when you were just a dumb rich girl, and you were must less keen on ignoring it to keep the peace. You were strangers now, after all, not friends due to business.
“So,” you started as you dropped the basket on the ground in front of your queen with a loud ‘plop’. “I know you didn’t come here to just get a peek at the bastard child of your friend, and you certainly aren’t here to rekindle our fake friendship, Ashido. . Spill it.”
You stared at her with accusation, stance showing that this easily could shift from a friendly encounter to a hostile environment depending on her next choice of words. Mina was a hero now, she most definitely could tell that this wasn’t the time to play pretend and get straight to the point like she would in the face of a real villain. She may be more of a commercial hero, enjoying the occasional spotlight and taking down many villains for a camera, but you remember that she looked death in the face the moment she got on the hero track.
The atmosphere in the room became tense as Mina was taken back by your commanding attitude, one that showed that what she suspected about you was true; this wasn’t the same Y/N she met as a kid. Your eyes were colder, uninviting and daring her to take a step too close into your world. Your posture even deterred her from thinking she was anything more than a stranger you invited into your home. Everything about the way you acted was a clear indication that the worst case scenario she had thought of after you contacted her had most likely come to fruition.
“What. . happened to you, Y/N?” Mina asked hesitantly, and you blinked at the question with your arms unconsciously reaching for your right side, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Mina.
After a moment of silence you explained, “I had him. My father didn’t like that. . and he told me not to go through with it, that it would be a shameful mistake. When I refused, he kicked me out onto the streets saying I wasn’t his daughter. I had nothing and no one, my pregnancy was high risk, and I had just been told that everything I knew wasn’t real, but we made it just fine.”
The answer was so vague beyond being disowned that it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened between being on the street and now wasn't something you’d be willing to tell just anybody. Especially not the girl who was only her friend in hopes of getting an up on life in her future. The fact that you told her that much was a privilege she should never expect to receive again. Mina could only frown and think of how lost and heartbroken you must have been, all because she couldn’t bring herself to stand without the herd and tell you the truth. You probably didn’t trust anyone now, and the fact that Katsuki probably thought you were living an easy life on your father’s money didn’t sit right with her when you did everything for yourself now, and obviously lived a modest life with his son.
This was her chance to redeem herself for her first failure as a hero, and she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
Mina looked you dead in the eyes with determination that you’d never seen before and said, “I want to help you take care of Ryu.”
Your brows furrowed at her declaration, “I don’t need help-“
“You do, and I’m going to be here for you. I don’t care if you hate me now, but I’m going to make it up to you for being selfish.” Mina pressed, her bouncy pink hair jumping as she bounded closer to you with a grin that used to always make a smile come on your own face. Her smile widened and her eyes closed as she made her words sink in with you. “I want to get to know the real you, Y/N, and I’m not going to miss the opportunity of seeing how you managed to keep a little Bakugou alive.”
You didn’t know what to say, no words were good enough to express every emotion she made you feel after six years of doing everything on your own. There probably weren't any words that could sum up the feeling of someone wanting to see who you really were after being someone else your whole life. You werent fully convinced — you couldn’t be, this not only affected you, but your son too — but there was a simple statement that would let her know that this meant something.
“Thank you.”
A/N: I hope you like this Mina x reader moment! I know there wasn’t much Bakugou and Ryu action, but more to come soon. Also, Ryu’s quirk is explosions that are activated by contact with his hands, meaning that he has to touch something to let out an explosion unlike Katsuki who can just let them rip at any time!
Taglist <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @hawksnugget @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @byakuyaswifee @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @liznoonz427 @damnirina @fireworkemoji102 @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa
#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bnha#bakugo x reader#x reader#bnha fanfiction#katsuki bakugo x y/n#bnha angst#bnha x reader
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Also is it just me but I feel people ignore the fact that Elliot, Jules, and Rue were all using each other, probably for somewhat selfish reasons but they were all using each other for different things. Rue was using Elliot to fund and help keep up her drug addiction as well as having someone who enables her drug addiction and someone who in her eyes understands her. He was her new favorite person just like Jules used to be but she’s not anymore and in a way she wasn’t in love with Jules but she loved her or at least cared deeply about her. Jules wanted someone who appreciated her and showed her attention, affection, and actively did sexual things with her and was in love with her. I don’t know if she used her but she expected Rue to be like that and for a time she was and here and there they’ll get sexual but imo she didn’t feel that spark or that same love and attention she felt in the beginning of their relationship. But even then Rue started off the relationship with a lie, a huge one at that and one that Jules in the past has told her she wouldn’t stick around for especially if Rue is just trying to unalive herself. Imo they didn’t confront their past issues and the relationship started off with a lie and I feel Jules in a way knew something was up but didn’t want to push Rue into things. But Jules wanted to feel loved, desired, and like someone was into her and what she had to say and whatever. At that time, Rue wasn’t and imo Elliot at the time who enabled Rue’s drug addiction and I felt wanted or at least craved some kind of relationship or was trying to ease the loneliness. Imo Jules and Elliot lusted for one another, romantically liked each other, no as much as there is a friendship there I feel there’s not gonna be a relationship that is anything other than sexual. Elliot made Jules feel like she was actually being paid attention to, he wasn’t lying to her, and yeah it was wrong of her to cheat and she should’ve set boundaries and actively expressed her troubles to Rue. I’m just explaining why she would’ve done what she did with Elliot and Elliot in a way used both Jules and Rue for I believe loneliness. He explains how he has no friends and I feel in a way he jumped at a chance to have connections, to be able to have friends and in a way when there was possibility of Jules being into him, he kind of neglected Rue. But I also feel people are making him out to be incredibly bad when at most he was neglectful of Rue’s feelings and enabled her addiction as well as being a bad influence on her but ya’ll wanna ignore that Rue was doing bad all by herself. Elliot and Jules were both kinda shitty for leaving Rue out there on the road and imo that is the one thing I do believe was kinda fucked up. But they were all using each other in ways that were self-destructive and ones that do more damage than they intend. I also feel that Elliot realized shit was getting serious and yes he didn’t have to have sex with Jules but like is this man the villain ya’ll believe him to be? Really think about it. Still you can hate him if you want to but I feel people are too hard on him and Jules which yes cheaters suck and I would want them to be held accountable or express something towards what happened. But that is not what broke them up, Rue and Jules both don’t know what they want and Rue is dealing with her drug addiction whilst Jules is still figuring out her sexuality and what she really wants. I don’t know about Elliot but I feel he served his purpose and is going or will be a character in Jules’s story at most. But ultimately all these kids are doing ignorant things and participating in self-destructive behavior but if The Last Of Us 2 taught me anything, you have to hold people accountable but don’t demonize them, it’s fine to have empathy for those around you and even bad people. That hurt people hurt people. That ultimately you can dislike their bad choices but still love and care about people. I think Jules needs or needed to pull a Dina and leave Rue because she doesn’t want to go through that guilt and pain and they’re just not right for each other at this time.
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Why I hate the CAOS video essay that came out a week ago
Did anyone else get extremely angry at the way Friendly Space Ninja discussed all of the female characters in CAOS? like, don't get me wrong... I understand most of the points he's making, and agree with a lot of what he says in the video essay (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: A Frustrating Waste of Potential), but when he speaks about Zelda, Lilith, Prudence, and Rosalind, I don't know... i just get a bad vibe. It's like he's doing a "bad faith” analysis, and it bothers me, because CAOS has so many parts to validly criticize, and yet he missed the mark more often than he hit it, in my humble opinion.
He basically says the same thing over and over again: that the actors were good, but the characters were bad, because they were all boring, shallow, and one-note, or whatever... and it's like... dude? of all the things you could say (especially about Zelda and Lilith in particular), the characters being “boring" isn't really the biggest criticism one ought to have of this show...?!? and it isn't even accurate?
Like why aren't you criticizing the trauma porn? Why aren't you criticizing the butchering of Lilith's mythology? Why are you ignoring all of the character development that does happen (particularly with regard to Zelda, whom he actively seems to hate) in favor of insisting none of these characters have an arc? It’s not beneficial to anyone if you’re going to criticize a show’s characters by actively misrepresenting them!
Which brings me to my next point: one of the things that bothered me the most was just how surface-level his analysis was. You could tell he hadn’t watched the show in a while, and clearly wasn’t interested in celebrating any part of it—which is okay, if you just want to roast Roberto for an hour, be my guest—but why does it feel like this video essay was the YouTube video equivalent of writing a book report on a novel you only skimmed…? He made a lot of generalizations that made it seem like he only watched the first season, and then paid no attention to the rest.
For example, some of his arguments are just so random and insignificant? Like why does he make shallow observations the basis of whole arguments about characters, such as when he goes on about how Zelda says 'Praise Satan' too much and “it got old"...?!?! Like what kind of bullshit analysis is that...? How is that even close to being something worthy of talking about in a video essay that is an hour and twenty minutes long...? Why are you taking such a trivial aspect of her character and making it a talking point in a video that is already much longer than it needs to be?
And while I agree with what he said about Lilith's motivations being inconsistent/unclear at times, and that Zelda's character growth wasn't as linear or developed as it could be, it really feels like he didn't even try to understand these characters at all. I realize I'm biased, because all I do is try to understand them and explain their motivations... but still! If you're making a video about the wasted potential of CAOS, why do you immediately dismiss almost the entire female cast, pretty much out of hand, when they're the foundation of the show...? They ARE the potential?! The good parts about them ought to have been given some credit? Like why does he fail to acknowledge all of the trauma these female characters went through that very much informs their decisions, and instead makes it sound like nothing the characters do make sense? While I might not always agree with every choice these characters made, there usually is something driving them to do whatever it is they’re doing, and particularly in the case of Lilith and Zelda, it’s not that hard to understand why they make irrational decisions sometimes, when they’re literally surrounded by abusers and everything is constantly blowing up in their faces.
Also, something smaller that really pisses me off is that he includes Zelda sending Blackwood out of the room during the birth of the twins as an example of the show's misandry and "bad feminism," but that's literally not what that moment is about? If he stopped to think about it for a moment, the moment is perfectly logical. Zelda is a midwife, who was most likely trained in the 1800s, when men literally weren't meant to be around when the the birth happened, so how is she being a misandrist just by doing what she’s been taught, especially when they’re all in a crisis situation? Men not being allowed in the room is an established part of the history of women’s health/childbirth, and it isn’t exactly obscure knowledge! Men used to be forced/asked to sit in the waiting room during labor, and before that, when home births were the status quo, midwives definitely wouldn’t allow men in the room as a matter of course. In fact, it wasn't until the 1970s that men being in the delivery room became a more normalized practice. So, men being present/witnessing a birth is a far more "modern" thing than I think people realize, and the exclusion of them from the delivery room has absolutely NOTHING to do with women hating men...? like fuck off with that “misandry” argument, in this instance. do some research before you start reaching that far, so as to act like Zelda was being hateful for simply following “industry standards,” if you want to call it that. There are medical articles that still come out to this very day that argue that no one should be in the delivery room besides the person giving birth and the doctors and nurses, because the husband/partner often gets in the way and distracts the medical team at critical moments. (Also men tend to faint or get sick at the sight of the birth, which then forces the team to split their focus in order to see to the unconscious man on the floor.)
And don't get me started on the anti-Zelda rant he goes on towards the end!! While I agree very much that Zelda is a flawed character, he uses an example of her degrading Hilda that isn't even something she actually did?! It's from a dream sequence!?!?!? like dude, did you even watch these episodes/scenes before you talked about them?!? He uses the example of dream-Zelda criticizing Hilda's appearance as a reason why Zelda is such a bitch, and I'm like... seriously? that literally wasn't her? just because Zelda said it in Hilda's nightmare, doesn't mean Zelda said it in real life, and should be criticized for it...?!
But yes, Zelda is abusive to her sister, and classist, and rude, and many of the things that he says--but when he tries to argue that because she's a woman, nobody cares that she's like that, and it’s a problem, because that’s evidence of more misandry… that’s where he loses me. He sees it as yet another issue with Roberto's writing—that he gives qualities that would be condemned in a male character to a female character, and allows that woman to be one of the "good guys" ...but yet again, dude... you're completely missing the point?!? Women are allowed to be flawed, without you seeing it as some gross failure of feminism?
He also at one point claims that Zelda resents Ambrose, and hates having him around, when I would argue Zelda actually really values Ambrose and has a close relationship to him...? Like did we even watch the same show?
I didn't expect to get this heated about a video essay that made a lot of other points that I agreed with (mainly the dragging of Roberto parts). But in my opinion, this guy got really offended by Roberto's fake feminism (which is valid), but then proceeded to tear down all of the female characters for an hour and twenty minutes straight...?! All he did was talk about how they're all misandrists and shallow characters and therefore the show isn't worth watching? like okay... but here's the thing... plenty of women have made it through shows that have misogyny at their very core, and have still managed to find the good points...? Game of Thrones is like the most popular show of all time, even though there's misogyny in every aspect of it, for historical “realism" purposes (*rolls eyes*). Zelda and Lilith's defining qualities aren't solely related to hating men, so it really pisses me off that he made it seem like that's all that shapes them, and that every time they insult or manipulate a man, it’s completely unjustified.
idk. I feel like I just watched an 83-minute roast on a show I love despite it's flaws, and that roast wasn’t mostly focused on all of the biggest flaws that I would’ve brought up, but rather on how all of the female characters are terrible and their misandry makes the show unwatchable.
So let me get this straight: you're hating on the female characters... in order to show how much of a feminist YOU are, as opposed to Roberto...?
Wow. Much feminism. Very enlightened analysis.
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