#i do love violets and agathas relationship so perfect

[wateringthemelon]

I'm sorry, I love Agatha Danbury, i do but mf have some better choices

Cuz she chose this crusty elderly white double bald spot MARRIED with a child (who is her bff rn) man

This fugly guy with brithday hat rizz

Compared to this beautiful awesome not old very cool, very titled, very German, DUKE, brother of THE QUEEN who is SINGLE and asked her to marry her. He is the shit

She's not in the elderly care business anymore since becoming a widow, why girl whyyy

[sleepyfireball]

I loved Season 3 so much (Violet Bridgerton Edition)

If you haven't guessed (God help you) Violet is my favourite character and I have a lot of thoughts about her storyline in Part 2.

First her storyline with John and Francesca. Something I really enjoy about Violet is that she is not perfect, and she actively learns from her past mistakes and tries to do better. That being said, she does still make mistakes. While she is significantly better this season at not pushing her children too hard in the marriage mart, she still does push Francesca a bit. I think she recognises that Francesca loves John, but she is not sure if she is in love with John. She is hesitant to speak to the Queen on their behalf, mostly because Agatha point blank tells her that the Queen will sniff out her doubts, even though Violet said her doubts do not matter in the face of Francesca's happiness. However, I do think Violet benefited from hearing that falling in love can look different, it does not always have to sudden and instantaneous and loud. Violet has a habit of expecting her children to experience love the way she did and it is important for her to recognise that her loved experience is not the only experience of true love. Also, Francesca forgave Violet, which I think was really important as well. An important part of growing up is realising that your parents are people too and as such, make mistakes. The scene of the two of them playing the piano together will live happily in my heart forever, as will John's acknowledgement of Violet's role in her children's lives.

I also found it quietly funny that Violet told Francesca she stumbled over her words the first time she met Edmund, then, not 5 minutes later, was stumbling over her words when speaking to Marcus. Not to mention that in part one, Violet had stumbled through her disastrous introduction to Marcus in the first place.

I love love loved seeing Violet and Marcus's story play out. Daniel Francis and Ruth Gemmell have amazing chemistry together and honestly were amazing in their scenes together. The way that he was constantly seeking her out at social events and he came to call on her was so sweet; even if Violet was so horny watching him eat that little dessert. I think Marcus should definitely be the one to tend her garden and I loved seeing them dance together. A romantic dance for the first time in 12 years for Violet. I enjoyed that she looked nervous but also excited to get to dance again. I also enjoyed that they put their relationship on the backburner to sort out their own issues. That's a really healthy outlook and I love that their communication is strong enough that they were comfortably able to talk about it. If I had my way, before season 4 we would get a prequel series about Young Violet and Edmund, paralleled with Violet and Marcus's proper courtship.

Marcus's scenes with Agatha were also top tier. Daniel Francis and Adjoa Andoh blew it out of the water, particularly in the scene where they both want to go after Violet when she's upset at the Mondrich ball. I feel like that scene hit really hard after watching QC:ABS and seeing just how miserable Agatha was in her arranged marriage. Also, seeing Agatha desperately trying to throw widows who are not Violet at her brother in the hopes that he would get distracted was hilarious, but I did appreciate that he did not waver in his feelings for Violet once. That is exactly what Violet deserves, not some wishy washy man who can't commit, like we were worried he would be, due to the rake comments from Part 1. I really appreciated that Marcus went and apologised, to resolve the matter almost as soon as he found out why Agatha was so angry at him. (her holding a grudge against a 10 year old is mildly hilarious, even if it leads to some pretty bad consequences) and that Agatha was willing to accept his apology and looked most pleased seeing him and Violet together after they had made up.

Now, Violet and Agatha's scenes. Oh my god, Ruth Gemmell and Adjoa Andoh give a master-class in acting because the two scenes they share, in Ep7 and Ep8 respectively are truly some of my favourite from across the whole show and spin off. This friendship between Violet and Agatha means so much and it is clear that neither of them want to jeopardise that friendship. The scene is Ep7 where Violet assures Agatha that their friendship is non-transactional is so important because all her life, Agatha has been told that in order to receive love, she has to provide something in return. Violet tells her, in no uncertain terms, that they will remain friends even after there are no more matches to make. For me as someone who struggled to make true friends for the longest time, seeing this relationship onscreen made me cry. And the scene in Ep8 where they finally actually talk about the discoveries made in QC:ABS is amazing as well. The cinematography in particular for this scene, I adored. The moment Agatha acknowledges that she loved Violet's dad, the camera hides away, behind the couch. When looking at Agatha, the camera is hidden away behind Violet's head. It feels like we are barely supposed to see that scene, because the two ladies are barely supposed to be talking about it. The filmography made the scene feel voyeuristic in a way, like the audience was not supposed to see it. This isn't even to mention the insane acting. I genuinely feel like I am just watching a conversation occur naturally between two people, not a scripted scene that is being acted out. The fact that they finally acknowledged everything from QC:ABS is also monumentsl as it means that Violet and Agatha are willing to move past that and continue their friendship, no matter what. Having Agatha say she will choose Violet over Marcus should he handle things wrong felt so wonderful as well, especially when you have the juxtaposition with Penelope and Eloise and Colin. And panning over to the hat at the end of that scene was wonderful. Not to mention the whole rest of that scene focused on Agatha reassuring Violet about Francesca and John as she had been doing all season.

If I could change anything about this I would add in two scenes. 1. Agatha consoling Violet after she runs out of the Mondrich Ball and 2. Getting Violet and Colin talking about the Whistledown reveal, because we were robbed of Ruth Gemmell's wonderful acting for that scene. I also want to know what was in that letter. I also would have liked to see Violet helping out a little more for Colin and Penelope, but I understand why she brought in Kate and Anthony to help him out.i would have loved more bonding scenes between Penelope and Violet and also Penelope and Agatha, but I was just glad we got the small crumbs of those relationships that we did. Three things I loved, when The Queen told everyone who was not a Bridgerton to leave, Agatha stayed right there and the Queen did not dare question her. And Anthony being overprotective over Violet and Kate telling him to chill. I do wanna see his reaction if we get Violet and Marcus seriously courting through. And the rest of her kids reactions to cluing onto Marcus was basically good for her, which I was very happy about and felt really healthy for their family dynamic.

I could talk about these three actors and these plot lines until the sun burns up, but that'll do for now

[kory-dany]

In defense of Charlotte as a mother

Quick disclaimer this post is not trying to undermine charlottegeorge's (we seriously need to come up with a better ship name) children's feelings towards their mother. Although we know very little about them, it's obvious their relationship with Charlotte isn't perfect, but if I'm being honest, I'm tired of this narrative that she was an awful mother. I 100% agree that she wasn't the best mother (tbh, none of the Bridgerton mothers are. That's what makes the show interesting), but people keep suggesting that she's Augusta-level bad, and that's just not true.

Firstly, everyone keeps forgetting that Lottie lost her parents when she was young, which suggests she didn't have a motherly presence for at least half her life. Secondly, she was eighteen when she had her first child. Eighteen and her strongest examples of motherhood were probably Agatha and Augusta (both, again, arguably not the most amazing mothers). Thirdly, she had fifteen kids. FIFTEEN!! Thirteen (twelve???) surviving, I'm not saying she didn't love them equally, but that's a lot of kids to get to know.

My main argument, however, is that Charlotte probably was not the best mother, and she probably did focus more on being queen and protecting George — which I would argue was also protecting her children. However, she is not Augutsa 2.0 (who, even though not the best mother did try).

Charlotte had twelve (thirteen, idk any more consistency is not this shows strength) surviving children, and it seemed that, for the most part, she let them do whatever they wanted. Unlike Augusta, who tried to control every aspect of George's life, she let her sons whore about (her words, not mine), and she clearly didn't meddle too much in her daughter's love lives. It's only until the very last minute that she inserts herself into their affairs.

At first, it was just her telling them to marry suitable people and produce an heir. She still allowed them to marry who they liked, just as long as they were from a specific pool. And if I'm being honest, that pool wasn't that small; they literally had all of Europe. One of them could have found someone if they had tried. But alas, they didn't which forced Charlotte's hand, leading to arranged marriages.

I think none of them really took her command of marriage seriously because none of them, outside of George probably, knows what responsibility is. Yes, we know that her daughters stayed because they couldn't bare to see their mother remain stuck in time. However, Charlotte did what Augusta couldn't. She didn't let the weight and responsibility of the crown break her children. To her, she was a good mother because she gave them freedom — freedom George never had — she let them have affairs and stay unmarried because she refused to put pressure on them the way Augusta and everyone else did on George.

Her children didn't crack under the crown's weight because she did. Charlotte had two choices: be the best queen or be the best mother. I think she chose the option that made the most sense to her. By being the best queen (George's queen), George had someone on his side, the kingdom had stability, AND her children got to live their lives.

Charlotte had so much responsibility from such a young age; is it really shocking that she couldn't juggle it all? Furthermore, people keep acting like she didn't love her kids, but she clearly did. She was very much pained when Elizabeth confessed her miscarriages, she was gentle with William when he admitted he was scared, and she was ecstatic when Edward announced Victoria's pregnancy. She didn't even care that they thought it would be a girl.

Overall, Charlotte is not a perfect mother, but none of the Bridgerton mothers are (not even Violet). All the mothers in this world are just women who tried their best. And as much as their best may not have been enough, it's all they had. Bridgerton does this brilliant thing, highlighting the toxic cycle that occurs when child-baring is a societal expectation, even in relationships made from love and children produced by autonomy. Charlotte's story is just another example.

[storytime-reviews]

Queen Charlotte TV Review

The spin-off miniseries revolving around Queen Charlotte consists of two plot lines: one in the present of Bridgerton, beginning in 1817 with the death of the royal heir Princess Charlotte, an event that causes the Queen to pressure her children to marry and produce another royal heir; the other begins in 1761 with Charlotte meeting and marrying King George. The latter explores the King and Queen's marriage and his mental illness.

I was initially wary of this series, because I felt they were probably just taking advantage of the popularity of Bridgerton in making Queen Charlotte, and that it would likely be wholly unnecessary. I was so wrong. In pretty much every way, I felt that Queen Charlotte eclipsed both seasons of Bridgerton.

I didn’t think I would care about this storyline at all, but I loved the show delving into Queen Charlotte’s past – how she became Queen, and also the relationship she had with King George. Of course, whilst the narrative is completely compelling, it’s also incredibly depressing at points because you cannot help but root for their relationship as George’s mental health worsens. But this is the sign of well-written and developed characters. I never cared about Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton, but I absolutely adore her now.

India Amarteifio as a young Queen Charlotte was well cast and absolute perfection in her role. The success of this show depends on the skill of Amarteifio and you cannot help but love her Charlotte immediately. She is strong and outspoken, a heroine one falls in love with immediately. Part of the brilliance is that this Queen Charlotte is markedly different from the one we know; this is what I enjoyed the most about this series, getting to know who she used to be and why she is the way she is.

One of my favourite characters in Bridgerton would have to be Lady Danbury, and so I was delighted that the young Lady Agatha Danbury (played by Arsema Thomas) would have such a pivotal role in Queen Charlotte. Her exalted position in Bridgerton makes complete sense once the ways in which Agatha and Charlotte’s lives become intertwined is revealed and I loved their blossoming friendship. Lady Danbury’s wit and intelligence is similarly on show here, as well as the wisdom she bestows – this time on a young Charlotte who is clearly out of her depth. There’s nothing I enjoy more than Lady Danbury’s bluntness, and her battle of wills with Princess Augusta were a highlight. Agatha’s backstory was also both beautiful and tragic, and I loved the connection to the current timeline and her friendship with Violet Bridgerton.

Brimsley and Reynolds were also standout characters – partly due to the intricacies of their own relationship with each other and the tension that occurs due to their roles – but also the strength of their devotion to Queen and King. Both characters are so deeply entrenched in the burdens of the young royals and would clearly do anything for them, even as it impacts their own relationships. They are both close and must keep each other at arms length, until the King and Queen are able to be more honest and vulnerable with each other. I think it’s interesting how both relationships are somewhat impacted by the other. Brimsely and Reynolds take the fights between the royals so personally, taking everything to heart and fighting on their behalf.

The relationship between Charlotte and George is very much a rollercoaster – but you cannot help but root for them, just as their trusted servants do. The chemistry between them is clear from the beginning, but whilst the development of their relationship is marked with various tropes, it’s also full of a great deal of emotion and intimacy. I loved the ways in which we watch them constantly fight for each other, and that the show takes care to demonstrate both of their perspectives. The episode which heavily features George’s perspective and his illness was especially engaging.

I genuinely felt that Queen Charlotte has more heart and substance than Bridgerton. I was more engaged in the storyline and characters, not to mention felt as if I was watching a show of greater quality. Bridgerton is fun for sure, but Queen Charlotte is more profoundly moving.

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

Now that’s an ending and beautiful family send off are y’all seeing beauty and Violet Bridgerton never beating the Colin is my favourite baby allegations the way shes clinging to him to the very end shes so real OMG the way Eloise is ending up with Michaela cuz the way they are holding hands 😯 already but I doubt it bc of Fran y’all don’t know how much this last ep means to me it has everything a pretty black girly already adored by the family and my Pen this is what I could’ve had with pen and Marina/Edwina if not Shonda hating woc so much or me thank you Jess for this fcvk u Shonda for keeping it from me because of your hatred of us/woc!

Everyday I’m reminded of how much I hate Shonda Rhimes with so much passion because wdym a white woman Jess could write and give us a beautiful dark skinned black girl that’s funny cute kind loving and has no horrible black dark skinned men in her life or male relative around her that’s evil but you couldn’t do that even with Lady Danbury this season Jess did that for her brother when miss Shonda pulled that sh*t in QC how I will never hover what she did to my girl in that show and the way Jess did Lady Danbury this season with her brother Violet relationship seeing how she has good people around her who care for her deeply but Shonda couldn’t give us that but a white woman did!

the way their friendship wasn’t one sided or shallow (in the sense it wasnt just give from LD side) unlike how it was with lady Danbury and Charlotte in QC cuz it was always Agatha being there for Charlotte while Charlotte just took her for granted and not the other way around I never liked Charlotte in that show not the younger her at least because she never even said condolences for Agatha after her husband but came to talk about her own problems and feelings then left afterwards she did that never sat right with me so see lady Danbury have a real friend in Violet who is truly there for her yeah I do in fact love a white woman and her name is Jess B for giving me this happy lady Danbury loved adored by her friend and brother and its again fcvk U Shonda always!

‪I can’t believe I got a bit of Colin and my Lady Danbury however little it was and lady Danbury praising adoring admiring pen and knowing her big secret but keeping it even from the queen I couldn’t have asked for more insanely perfect to the very end season! the fact it’s all thanks to that Jess lady yeah I’m need her back in s4 !

[alaffy]

Queen Charlotte, Ep. 5 – Gardens in Bloom

Given the length of episodes 5 and 6, I’m surprised that they just didn’t go for seven episodes (it’s Bridgerton, I’d think even tight-wad Netflix would consider it).  That being said, I do feel like parts of this episode went on too long.  Especially with Brimsley and Reynolds.  The idea of a same sex couple, who have to keep their life hidden, one who must serve the King and one the Queen; meaning there are times that they have to keep things from each other.  It is an interesting concept.  Unfortunately, most of their scenes boils down to Brimsley saying they need to do something about the situation of the week, and Reynolds saying he can’t do anything.  It got boring two episodes ago and happens way too much this episode. 

Anyway, George has moved back to Kew and is under the whims of the doctor.  Charlotte has been writing to George but gets no replies.  Princess Augusta comes to the palace to see if Charlotte is with child.  After confirming that she is, the Princess decides that she’s going to stay.  Meanwhile, Reynolds is becoming more concerned about how George is being treated.

I will say that one issue I have with this show is that, well, given George’s condition and how hard Augusta has had to work to keep this from everyone, I’m having a hard time believing that Augusta wouldn’t have figured out a way to have a King's man who is loyal to her son, but does report any unusual activity to her.  Like they literally explain in episode 4 that she’s bringing in the doctors and she’s clearly aware of what they’ve been doing up until this point.  But she suddenly decides, nah, I’ll leave this person to George?  She wouldn’t want reports on this?

Getting back on track, Agatha is realizing that Lord Danbury’s death isn’t so free as she’d hoped it would be.  First off, there is the question of his title.  Normally, a title would go to the firstborn son, but as Danbury’s title was given as part of the “Great Experiment,” no one is sure if the case will be the same here.  Second, and what usually happens in shows like this, Danbury was spending more money than Agatha realized and so they have a lot less than she thought.  Agatha’s only choice might be to rely on the kindness of a relative or another marriage.  And this would probably be more dramatic, if we didn't already know Agatha's future.

The other issue is that Agatha doesn’t really know who she is.  To explain, Agatha was promised to Lord Danbury when she was three years old.  Therefore, she was raised to be his perfect wife (for example, she was told gold was her favorite color because it was his favorite color).  She was literally raised to be an extension of him, not a person in her own right.  So, who is she and what does she want?

In order to figure herself out, she starts going on walks on her very large and empty estate.  One her first walk, she happens to run across Violet’s father (who just happens to be her next door neighbor and just happens to be walking on his very large estate in the exact same area).  Turns out that have a lot in common as it’s clear that, let’s just say, his marriage wasn’t exactly a love match either.  Time passes and they continue these walks.  Agatha starts to learn more about who she is and what she can do (like introducing her son as Lord Danbury to Princess Augusta, even though the title is in question).

Agatha falls for Violet’s father, and they end up having an affair.  (And given the scene we see in present day she still remembers him quite fondly). 

Speaking of present day, we find out the Violet Bridgerton is having urges and is ashamed.  But Violet tells her that it’s quite normal.    I wonder if Violet will find out what kind of relationship Agatha had with Violet’s father.

Anyway, back in the past, Charlotte is miserable.  Her husband is absent and her mother-in-law is quite racist (paint her portrait with lighter skin, my ass).  Charlotte writes to her brother in hopes he will take her back to their home country.  The brother comes to visit, but tells her he cannot take her as that would basically mean kidnapping the king-to-be (which is true) and that her body is not hers (which he can fuck off).  He then asks if she’s treated all right, like she’s not being abused (making you wonder if he might have risked everything if she said yes), but she tells him no and he’s relieved because it means he won’t have to choose between her and the alliance he made with England (aaand he can fuck off again).

Anyway, this all goes on for awhile.  George’s torture goes on for awhile.  Then one day Charlotte just decides, “fuck it, I’m going to move in with Agatha.”  Of course, this is the last thing that Agatha needs and so she summons Brimsey to take Charlotte home.  Except Agatha talks to Charlotte and realizes that, in her own way, Charlotte is in a similar position as Agatha (in that, Charlotte doesn’t really have much choice in her own life.  Or people aren’t allowing her to have that choice).  Agatha, somewhat, comes clean and says that she hasn’t been Charlotte’s friend, but she would like to be.  And then they talk.

But getting to the end of the story, Charlotte goes back to Buckingham house.  But instead of going inside, she decides to go to Kew to see her husband.  When she arrives, she’s met by some of the doctor’s henchmen and then the doctor himself, saying she can’t see George.  Charlotte makes it clear that no is not an option and she will have her guards search the house if necessary.  Reynolds, knowing he can’t keep silent about George’s treatment any longer, tells Charlotte where to look.  Charlotte finds George being tortured and clearly not in his right state of mind.

She orders George to be freed and tries to bring him back around.  She is able to do so, by letting George feel the baby.  Afterwards, she orders Reynolds to take care of George, orders her men to get her stuff as they are moving to Kew, and orders the doctor off the property; making it clear that he’s lucky she doesn’t have him killed for what he’s done.

Finally, in the present, Charlotte has found wives for two of her sons.  They will be married in a week.  They think they’ve found a way out of the marriage as their brother, the Prince of Wales and acting regent, never agreed to the marriage.  Except he ain’t stupid enough to go against his mother and so they will be married.  On the wedding day, one of the sons admits to Charlotte that he is afraid and she, in a rare moment, lets down her guard and gives him advice on how to make his marriage work. 

[bridgertonbabe]

I’m reading your Violet & Edgar story, so that then i can read the Benophie Blip, and I’m loving it so much!!! your portrait of Violet is exactly how I imagined her!

I was wondering, between all the cousins, who do you think bonds more with who?

Also, what do you think are the strongest relationships between uncle/aunt and niece/nephew?

So within the cousins here are a few different dynamics;

When Amanda Crane first met the Basset girls, she did not like Amelia after the eldest Bridgerton grandchild asked her if she wanted to have a tea party, feeling as though Amelia was trying to dictate to her what to do. Prior to meeting her step-mother’s family, Amanda had sworn to Oliver that they wouldn’t leave each other’s side, so she rudely turned down Amelia’s offer only to turn around and find that Oliver had already run off with the Bridgerton boys. Amanda had sulked for awhile, glaring over enviously at Amelia and her sisters as they enjoyed their tea party, secretly wishing to join in even though she had rejected them. It was only after some cajoling from Eloise that Amanda swallowed her pride and bashfully asked if she could join them after all. From then on Amanda built up a steady friendship with Amelia, despite being closer in age with Belinda and Caroline. While Belinda was a little too much to deal with and Caroline a bit too on the quiet side, Amelia was the happy medium and Amanda greatly enjoyed her company. They only got closer as they grew up, so much so that in 1843 Amanda “Mandy” Joliffe and Amelia “Amy” Farraday were born only a month apart. 

Charlotte Bridgerton spent the first few years of her life surrounded by her brothers and male cousins, enjoying the rough and tumble of running after them in the grounds of Aubrey Hall in the summertime. The Basset girls were a little too old for her (even if Amelia liked to pick her up as toddler and haul her about, in spite of Charlotte’s desperate wriggling to get free) when she she was younger, but once her cousins Violet, Agatha, Penelope, and Georgiana were old enough to run about, Charlotte took great joy in leading the pack of girls around at family gatherings. She gets along well with her female cousins just as much as her male cousins, though her favourite Bridgerton cousin is definitely Violet.

William Bridgerton is a perfect example of a floater in the family; pair him up with any relative regardless of age, he’s going to chat away to them and do everything in his power to entertain them. He does get a little quieter when he’s among the older male cousins of the family, having been the youngest boy for a number of years before Thomas was old enough to join in, but even then he’s still cracking jokes and nudging his cousins if he finds something particularly funny. 

Edmund Bridgerton and Amelia Basset are the natural leaders of the younger generation, being the eldest grandson and granddaughter respectively. However while Amelia likes to think she’s the epitome of a role model for her younger cousins to look up to, Edmund is more modest of his position and he dutifully ensures everyone is safe while being dependable at all times.

Mary Bridgerton and Janet Stirling have a very close bond and always pair up together at family gatherings. They can be typically sighted holding each other’s hand and running off giggling together but they’re both very innocent so neither one of their fathers ever has cause for concern with what they might be up to. Though there is a rather significant distance between them for most of the year, they’ve been pen pals since they were both old enough to read and write, and it’s a correspondence they keep up for the rest of their lives. 

And as for dynamics between the aunts and uncles with their niblings?

Hyacinth was the adult comrade for her nieces and nephews growing up, being a lot closer in age to a good deal of them and being the ultimate fun aunt - but once they were adults, her nephews quickly realised she was an ally no more but rather a dastardly aunt who took great pleasure in their torment i.e. forcing them to dance at balls. She takes over the mantle from her grandmother-in-law, Lady Danbury, in meddling as best she can with the men of the family, though she does also offer sage advice to the more sensible-minded of her nephews should they need guidance. 

As head of the family, Anthony cares a great deal about every last Bridgerton member, though he has particular soft spot for Charles Bridgerton, the nephew who is often compared to him for their similar temperament. While some in the family think Charlie is quick to overreact when it comes to being protective and defensive of those he loves, Anthony completely understands where he’s coming from and is always there for his nephew when he needs to vent his frustrations. 

Speaking of Charles, he’s also a favourite of his uncles, Michael and Phillip. Michael Stirling always takes a keen interest in the young man considering he was the one who had to deliver him when Sophie went into labour at Francesca and John’s wedding reception, meanwhile Phillip was the one who saved an ailing Charlie when he was a child. Michael and Phillip are always particularly concerned whenever they hear that Charlie has got so much as a common cold; in their eyes, he’s as much their boy as he is Benedict’s. 

[irishseeeker]

                                       the story of us

summary:  Five times Kate Sheffield and Anthony Bridgeton were just friends and one time they were more.

find chapter 1 here or here

find chapter 2 here or here

find chapter 3 here or here

find chapter 4 here or here

---

chapter 5: part 1-I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending.

Kate was sitting on Anthony’s couch, wearing a dinosaur hat and drinking a glass of wine.

A very normal thing for a twenty five year old to do on a Thursday night.

She had managed to get out of the office at a reasonable seven o’clock tonight, as opposed to her usual nine. Agatha Danbury, her boss and career idol, had pushed her out of the office and told her to go out and have a drink.

She never specified with whom, so a glass of white wine with Newton seemed perfectly acceptable.

She had expected Anthony to be home but he had texted her earlier that he wouldn’t be home until late.

That had become a common occurrence lately. He was definitely avoiding her. He sometimes never came home at all.

The anxiety was clawing at her, she wanted to know where he was and what he was doing but he kept his explanations vague and usually to do with work. More specifically, who he was doing. They had never been too intimate on the details of their sex lives but Kate couldn’t stop herself from wondering. He hadn’t brought anyone home in the two months she had lived here.

Was she in his way? This was his flat, after all. She had long overstayed her welcome and his disappearing act had confirmed that. Anthony would never tell her that, he was too good of a person and he really didn’t understand boundaries. Kate had clearly overstepped his.

Her thoughts had been confirmed when she had found a hotel key on the floor of their bathroom. It was still in its slip, the date written on the paper was only last week. Why would he stay at a hotel fifteen minutes away from his flat?

Kate knew why.

It wasn’t her.

She poured herself another glass of wine.

She was going to miss the flat.

Kate had slowly woven herself into his flat over the past two months. She had her favourite spot on the couch, the corner of the couch with the perfect view of the television. She had her favourite stool at the kitchen counter, where she could watch Anthony cook and feed Newton bits off her place. She knew Anthony’s morning routine so well she knew exactly what time to jump out behind the bathroom door to scare him.

Newton even had a favourite spot, amusingly in Anthony’s favourite armchair. He had spent a few thousand pounds on a gorgeous grey, L shaped sofa that could fit his whole family yet he always sat on the old, brown cracked leather plush armchair. Kate had found out a while ago it had been his dad’s old armchair, Violet had had it refurbished slightly and had given it to Anthony for his birthday this year.

Her first mistake was becoming too comfortable.

It was dangerous. She had let herself fall too deep into her fantasy and the dread of reality was slowly creeping up on her. This wasn’t real life. She was a twenty five year old woman hopelessly in love with her best friend who didn’t feel the same about her. He was letting her stay while she figured it out.

What was wrong with her? Kate had told herself after her first week staying here she would find somewhere to live. She felt guilty, invading Anthony’s space but he really hadn’t seemed to mind. If anything, he was encouraging it. He found something wrong with every single flat Kate had visited until she finally found the perfect one within her budget.

She had always worried that Anthony was lonely here since Simon had left. She knew he had been, he had spent more time at her flat in the last few months than he had since the day she moved in. Anthony was not someone who was used to being alone.

He probably didn’t want her here, he just wanted someone here. She was in the way now and if she stayed here any longer, it was just going to get worse. It felt like Anthony was deliberately avoiding her, he had barely been around lately and when he was, it was like it wasn’t really here. They had their moments, they always would-but something was wrong.

Kate had found excuse after excuse to delay moving out until she had woven a perfect web of her own downfall.

Her second mistake? That was moving in with her best friend who she was desperately in love with.

Kate was still right where she was when she was eighteen years old.

Hopelessly in love with Anthony Bridgerton and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

It had consumed her. It had become a part of her. She loved him like she took her first breath every morning. She loved him like when she made her first coffee of the morning, with a splash of milk and a tiny bit of sugar. She loved how he texted like he was your grandad, with perfect grammar and punctuation. He still asked her what emojis meant. She loved every single thing about him, even the things that drove her up the wall like his non-existent patience and how he left his plates and mugs always in the sink instead of putting them into the dishwasher.

She just loved Anthony Bridgerton.

Kate had been doing it for eight years and she was so good at it.

It was almost sweet, if it wasn’t so tragic.

It wasn’t logical. It wasn’t practical. Despite him being her best friend, Anthony had always been clear about his stance on relationships. He didn’t do them. He hadn’t since his disastrous one with Siena. Whenever someone mentioned love or marriage, his face would turn into a stony expression and his upper lip would curl in slight disgust.

He didn’t want that.

Kate did, she desperately did-but she wanted it with him.

Her new flat would be ready in two weeks, the owner was still finishing renovations. In two weeks, she would move out of his flat and possibly tell Anthony she was in love with him.

Would the truth set her free? Or would it just cause her to lose Anthony forever?

Kate heard the front door close, snapping her out of her inner hell and it was followed by a few swear words and Anthony muttering under his breath as he walked into the living room.

“Those bloody deathtraps,” Anthony muttered, a scowl on his face as he appeared at the door of the living room. He was talking about her roller skates, she had gone to Hyde Park again with Edwina over the weekend. Kate was absolutely rubbish, but it was fun. “You’re going to break a bone in those things.”

“At least I’ll look cute while doing so.” Kate grinned at him, peeking her head over the top of the couch. She had bought a retro purple pair off Amazon, that reminded her of Grease and the 60s.

Anthony was staring at her with an amused expression, leaning against the wall. Kate knew Anthony’s strange behaviour wasn’t completely because of her. He had been acting strange since he made up with Daphne and Simon.

“Kate?”

“Mm?”

“Why are you wearing a dinosaur hat?”

She had forgotten about the hat two wine glasses ago.

Kate Sheffield, constantly oozing sex appeal.

There was really no explanation. “I have a better question. Why wouldn’t I be wearing a dinosaur hat?”

“Touche.” Anthony chuckled, opening up the fridge and pulling out a beer. He loosened the tie around his neck, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt with one hand as he made his way towards his armchair. He picked up Newton under his arm, who had been happily snoozing on his armchair before Anthony interrupted him.

Anthony sat down, putting Newton back down on his lap. He had long given up fighting Newton for his armchair. It was their armchair now.

Well, it would be for another two weeks.

“I was packing and I found the party bag from Hyacinth’s party,” Kate explained, tipping the cowboy hat on her head that had a Tyrannosaurus Rex’s head coming out of the top of it. Kate didn’t miss the frown on his face when she mentioned packing up her stuff, but she dismissed it. It didn’t mean anything. She threw the spare hat over to him. “Did you really think I wouldn’t have one for you?”

Anthony stared at the hat that had landed on the couch beside him with vague disgust. “There’s not a chance in hell I’m wearing that.”

“Why? It looks like you,” Kate teased, reaching up to pinch the dinosaur’s spotty nose on the top of her head. “Go on. Aw, he’s got your nose.”

Anthony couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face, as much as he was trying to fight it. It made Kate feel warm, she felt like she hadn’t seen it in a while. This felt good. It felt like them. “Is this how you treat people who give you a roof under your head out of the goodness of their heart? By insulting their good looks?”

“That doesn’t make any sense, though. You gave me a roof under my head.”

Anthony picked up the hat and slammed it onto his head. “I know you find me good looking, Kate. Just admit it.”

Kate chose to ignore the fluttery feeling inside of her stomach and the frustration building up inside of her. He was now flirting with her when he had been acting so off with her for the past two weeks? How was that fair? This wasn’t just them having a laugh. Kate may have feelings for Anthony, but she didn’t delude herself into thinking he was flirting with her when he wasn’t. He had always been a flirt. She was too, usually only with him. She would play it off, like she always did. “Hmm. Maybe to some people.”

Teasing was easier than telling the truth. Kate wasn’t confident he found her good looking, she wasn’t his usual type. In fact, she was the opposite to any girl she had ever seen him with. Kate was so forgettable he had forgotten their kiss.

Kate picked up her phone, taking a few quick pictures of Anthony and then flipping the camera to take a few pictures of her smiling with a disgruntled looking Anthony in the background.

She put the phone down, laughing her arse off and smiling at him very satisfied. “I’ll show them at your wedding.”

“I hope you do.”

There was a moment of silence where they both just stared at each other, his words lingering in the air. His tone wasn’t teasing or sarcastic, it was gritty and left a bitter taste in her mouth. It was also very confusing. Kate had no idea how to respond to him so she just...didn’t. Anthony quickly broke the silence, changing the topic completely.

“That reminds me. I just got back from having a drink with Simon.”

Kate wasn’t expecting that. Kate moved across the couch towards him, pushing herself up onto her knees once she reached him. She lifted her hand to inspect his neatly shaven jaw, she would really find any excuse to touch him. “I don’t see any bruises.”

“Funny.” Anthony said dryly, his eyes following her hand until they locked eyes with hers.

Kate laughed, choking on the intensity of the brief eye contact and fell back onto the couch, taking another sip of her wine. “I know, I’m considering pursuing stand-up comedy full time. What did Simon want?”

Things had improved between Anthony and Simon since they made up at Hyacinth’s birthday party three weeks ago. They were civil and spent time together when they all hung out together, but things weren’t the same and they still had a lot of rebuilding to do. They definitely weren’t back to hanging out together like they did before their fight.

“Simon just told me he’s going to ask Daphne to marry him.”

Kate spat out her wine.

Anthony’s jaw dropped before he quickly jumped out of his armchair, causing Newton to growl at him for waking him up. “Kate, that’s a leather couch!”

Kate spluttered, coughing as the wine she had just choked on continued to tickle her throat. “I’m sorry. Forget the couch. What did you just say?”

Anthony had run into the kitchen to grab paper towels, dabbing at the wet stains on the couch. It was only white wine, so it wouldn’t stain. He also handed her a glass of water, his expression strained as he roughly wiped at the couch. “He told me he was going to propose to Daphne this weekend.”

Kate stared at Anthony as if he had grown another head and an arm on his leg. “Did someone drop him on his head? Daph turned twenty two last week! He’s barely twenty six! I watched him laugh at a video of a dog swimming in a duck costume last week for twenty minutes. He can’t get married.”

Once again, Anthony shrugged. This was the man who had punched his best friend for going near his sister and refused to speak to both of them for two months. He simply shrugged. “Well, he plans to.”

“Why are you so calm?” Kate narrowed her eyes. Anthony was far calm about this. He had punched Simon and ignored him for two months when he had found out about Daphne and him. “Does anyone know Simon’s current whereabouts?”

Anthony’s deadpanned expression made a small smile creep onto Kate’s shocked face. “Seriously, it’s like a comedy night here.”

“Did you kill him?” When the opportunity presented itself, Kate would always wind up Anthony Bridgerton further. She also knew that he was probably feeling extremely frustrated and hurt and was showing a surprising level of self-control, so it wasn’t the worst idea to lighten the mood.

“No,” Anthony said, twisting his nose and mouth into a taunting smile. “But I might kill you.”

“Please, you couldn’t live without me.” Kate retorted with a teasing smile, but the eerie silence that followed quickly killed any amusement in her face. Anthony looked exhausted. Things had been strange between them but the dark bags under his eyes and the deflated look on his face showed Kate something more. She knew Anthony and she knew he was keeping something from her.

“He’s asking her in Paris this weekend,” Anthony explained, focusing on stroking Newton’s fur instead of looking at Kate. “That’s where he’s taking her for her surprise birthday trip. It’s perfect for her. Daph loves Paris.” “How do you feel about it?” Kate asked, caution filling her voice as she carefully observed Anthony. His body language was usually difficult to read and tonight was no exception. She knew he was upset but Anthony kept his walls high and guarded. She could never truly tell what he was feeling, whether it was that he wanted to scream or cry.

Anthony let out a deep sigh. “Would I rather set myself on fire than watch them get married? Yes. Do I think they’re rushing into it and incredibly young? Absolutely. Can I do anything about it? No. It’s their life. I can’t stop them. It doesn’t take a genius to know what I think about it but it’s not my decision to make. I’ll have to support them. I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Kate didn’t know what she would do if Edwina told her she was engaged.She’d probably have a heart attack. She was even younger than Daphne. She would probably drag Edwina back down the aisle, if she even let her get up it first.

“Mum is already planning their engagement party. She’s thrilled, of course. Simon spoke to her before me. Their party is going to be next weekend and then Ben’s gallery opening is the following Saturday.”

Kate nodded, biting her lip as she watched Anthony carefully. “What did he say to you?”

“Firstly, he asked me not to punch him. Then he said Daphne and him had already spoken about it. He wouldn’t propose if it wasn’t something Daphne wanted. He said he loved her so much and that he would always take care of her. He apologized for the timing considering things have only gotten civil again but he just couldn’t wait anymore,” Anthony said, sitting back down in his armchair and letting Newton settle back down in his lap. “He said he didn’t want to wait anymore when he knew Daph was the one. Why would he wait any longer when the love of his life was right in front of him?”

Simon did have a point. It was a difficult point for Kate to swallow but he had a point. Why was she waiting? Fear was becoming an exhausting reason.

In Kate’s opinion, they were far too young and they had only been together for nearly two years. This was Simon’s first serious relationship. It was ludicrous. Yet, it wasn’t her life. Her opinion didn’t matter here. They were taking control of their narrative and doing what was right for them. “Wow,” She murmured, not really knowing what else to say. It was a lot to take in. What happened to the teenager Kate had met eight years ago in Aubrey Hall? When had they all grown up so much? “I know this is probably a stupid question but are you okay?”

Newton stood up in Anthony’s lap, putting his two ginger paws on his chest and nuzzling his face against Anthony’s chest and face. He licked him a few times, which Anthony usually protested about but he was quiet tonight. Newton was trying to hug him. He always comforted Kate like that when she was upset. Newton just knew when something was wrong.

He was an angel, her Newton.

“I’m not really sure.” Anthony said honestly, smiling softly and rolling his eyes as Newton licked his cheek and chin, his paws pushing against Anthony’s chest as he tried to climb up further.

“That’s okay,” Kate gave Anthony a small smile, laughing softly as Anthony pushed Newton up by his bum until the corgi was half sitting on his shoulders and head. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

Anthony gave her a small grateful smile back, managing to get a scrambling Newton off his head and back onto his lap. When Anthony was around, Newton gave him his full attention. Kate didn’t blame the corgi at all. “You always are. Thanks, Kate.”

They exchanged a soft smile but no more words on the topic, despite the feeling that there was so much left unsaid between them.

“I can’t believe Daphne is getting married.”

Edwina zoomed in on the photo on Daphne’s instagram, the large diamond on her finger in front of her and Simon’s beaming faces with a glittering Eiffel Tower in the background. Kate had met up with Daphne for lunch yesterday and she had seen the ring in person, along with the detailed account of every minute of their trip and the proposal.

It was finally the weekend and Kate had spent Saturday morning roller skating-well, mostly falling with a side of skating-around Hyde Park with Edwina. They had gone back to her flat with takeaway kebabs and coffees, where she was staying with her boyfriend until her university term ended. Edwina was going to move back to their family home for the summer and stay with Kate in London when she wanted to, as Kate had decided to get her own flat for the first time.

Sophie was staying with Benedict for the summer, they seemed to be very happy and working through their problems. Since the Bridgertons owned Benedict’s flat, Sophie was insisting on paying for the utilities and groceries to pay her way. They were compromising and moving forward together. Edwina and Sophie were going to look for a flat at the end of the summer before university started, Sophie had finally saved up enough to enroll and start her course to become a teacher.

“Please don’t get any ideas.” Kate said, giving her a concerned look. Kate liked Edwina’s boyfriend Matthew a lot, he was a sweet guy and Edwina was head over heels for him, but they were not ready for marriage. Anthony had been uncharacteristically calm since he had found out about the engagement and it was very unnerving. It wasn’t like Kate could say much about Anthony these days, he was still avoiding her as much as possible. If they were together, it was rarely alone. Even at the flat, he had Hyacinth and Gregory over for a sleepover last night instead of their usual takeaway on Friday night.

Edwina snorted loudly. “As if. Mum only met Matthew last week. I don’t plan on getting married for a very long time.”

“I don’t know if I will ever get married.” It was true. Kate couldn’t see herself with anyone else. She had tried being with someone else and that had ended up in disaster. The cheating wasn’t her fault but her being in love with Anthony before and during her relationship meant it never stood a chance.

It was ridiculous to think about marriage at twenty-five years old when she had so much time and she was still so young. She just couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else.

“Please don’t say that,” Edwina’s voice softened as she spoke, so full of pity it made Kate feel ten times worse than she already did. She felt pathetic and she knew people found her pathetic. Her own sister pitied her. “Whether you want to get married is completely up to you. It’s not because there isn't someone out there for you. There is. You still have so much time, Kate.”

“I have time but I want him. He’s still avoiding me. I’ve barely seen him since Hyacinth’s birthday party. I found another hotel key this morning.” Kate wanted to scream at him, to hide his escapades better and not leave evidence of them out in plain sight where she could come across them. She had absolutely no right to be angry. But she was. She was incredibly hurt. She was doing this to herself. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything to him, as much as she wanted to scream it at him.

“Kate, you’re torturing yourself.”

Kate’s nails tapped against the edge of her mug, the light tapping nose soothing to her ears. The steam from the mug hit her face, but she wasn’t sure that was the reason why she was sweating. “I know, Ed.”

“You could tell him.”

Kate looked up at Edwina, her little sister who was so grown up in front of her. Kate felt like a child, coming to her sister when everything felt like it was falling apart. She felt so out of control, as if something was just on the brink of exploding and there was nothing she could do about it. “I can’t risk it.”

If she told him, she could risk losing him forever. It could break them in a way that could never be fixed. If he didn’t feel the same, her confession would be a shadow lingering over them that they couldn’t break free from.

Kate just dreaded the day he met the right girl that wasn’t her and she would have to stand there and watch.

How could she do that? Watch someone make him happy the way he made her happy? It was such a selfish thought but she couldn’t help it. Sometimes, Kate didn’t think she would be brave enough when the time would come.

Anthony was her best friend. He was her person. He didn’t owe her the love she felt for him. He already loved her in ways unimaginable, his friendship had been one of the best things that had ever happened to her. He had been her friend first and would always be her friend, but life without Anthony was unimaginable and she was doomed to watch him be happy with the perfect girl someday.

Their friendship had been something that Kate thought only existed in books and movies. She was so lucky to have him. She felt so guilty for how she felt, it wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful for what they had. She knew what they had was so special. Kate just wished it was more.

It would have to be enough.

Life with Anthony would always be better than life without him.

Edwina reached towards her with a comforting smile, her hand covering Kate’s hand and her thumb rubbing soothing circles on her wrist. “You can’t keep going on like this either.”

“I know.” Kate mumbled, exhaling loudly as her head fell back against the head of the couch.

“I don’t know how Anthony feels. You don’t know either. You’ll only know if you tell him how you feel. I know he’s your best friend, he’s like your other half. If you really want to know what I think,” Edwina paused before she continued speaking, as if she was debating what she was about to say. “I think he feels the same way about you. I really do. From what I’ve seen, I really do. Friends don’t look at friends the way he looks at you. I’ve never seen anything like it. I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks that either.”

Kate stared at Edwina, completely taken aback. It was the first time someone else, other than herself, had ever acknowledged the idea that Anthony might like her back. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Anna had said it during their first year of university but Kate didn’t like to think about her. “I just don’t know, Ed. I don’t think he does. I only know how I feel and I just feel suffocated by it. I’m just so scared of the consequences of telling him.”

“Katie,” Edwina said softly, using the nickname for Kate she reserved for emotional moments between them. “I know you sometimes don’t think a lot of yourself, so I’m here to remind you of how wonderful you are. You’re an amazing person. He would be so lucky to be in love with you. I’m so lucky to love you. We’re all so lucky to be loved by you. Okay?”

Kate felt the sore lump forming in her throat, squeezing back the hand Edwina had wrapped around hers. She used her spare hand to brush the fresh tears out of her eyes. She hated crying, but she couldn’t help it. Edwina’s words meant more than Kate could ever express. It was hard to hear them sometimes, especially when Kate struggled to believe they were true. “Thanks, Ed. I love you too.”

“Good. I mean it. Would it really be so bad?” Edwina asked, tilting her head slightly as she nudged Kate’s foot with hers, forcing Kate to look at her. She knew Edwina was right. It had been too long. This had been going on for too long. If there was a chance they could be something, she should take it. “To tell him?”

It would. “I could lose him.”

Edwina didn’t respond for a few moments, the silent seconds suffocating Kate even further. “You already sound lost to me.”

“I know,” Kate said softly, the weight of the truth in her sister’s words making her chest feel tight. She felt lost and she felt stuck. She caught a glimpse of her watch and pushed herself up off the couch, sighing softly. “I better get going. I have to walk shower and get ready for later. We’re going to the Bridgertons later to have dinner to celebrate their engagement. We’re helping Daphne and Simon with their engagement party invitations as well.”

“Kate,” Edwina said, walking Kate to her door and wrapping her arms around her sister, pulling her into a deep hug. Kate didn’t know how much she needed one until it was happening, she pulled Edwina closer. “I only want what’s best for you. I’ll always have your back and support you. I just want you to be happy.”

“I know, Ed. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Oh! I nearly forgot. These are the tickets for Ben’s gallery he gave me for you two,” Kate said, pulling out the envelope and handing it to Edwina with a wink. She didn’t want to be sad anymore. She’d push it away for now. “It starts at seven, black tie. Free booze.”

“Thank you so much,” Edwina said, beaming at Kate as she squeezed the envelope. “Matt is such a fan of Benedict’s instagram, he stalks his instagram all the time. He’s going to be so excited.”

“It’s going to be a good night,” Kate said, pulling on her hoodie and raising her eyebrows at her sister. “Who knows what will happen?”

Later that evening, they were at the Bridgertons to celebrate Daphne and Simon’s engagement. It was the Bridgertons and Sophie, Kate and Simon. Kate felt so full after the feast Violet had prepared she could barely move.

Kate didn’t even protest as Anthony stole bits of her cake off her plate, if she ate anymore she felt like she would burst out of her red dress.

“I don’t understand why we’re posting these out. Haven’t you already emailed invitations?” Eloise asked, a permanent scowl had been glued to her face since Daphne had dragged her to the dining room table after dinner along with Kate, Anthony, Simon, Ben and Sophie to help seal their invitations.

“Yes, but they’ll need these to get into the party,” Daphne said, giving Eloise a look as she carefully tied the pink ribbon around the lace envelope in her hands. “Besides, it’s part of the process. We’ll have these forever. I already have a copy in my wedding book.” Kate had even spent a few moments admiring the large princess cut diamond on Daphne’s finger. It was massive and blinding in the bright lighting.

They had each been given a part of the alphabet from the guest list, which was in alphabetical order and consisted of at least two hundred people. If this was the engagement party list, the wedding was going to be massive.

“How do you know this many people?” Kate was only responsible for the A to Ds and she hadn’t even started the Cs and they had been at this for nearly two hours. The invitations were beautiful, they were on expensive hard paper that was a soft blue. The writing on the invitation was a beautiful cursive font that was sealed in a cream lace envelope, tied with a rose ribbon.

“Well, Daphne is a Bridgerton. Simon is technically a Hastings,” Anthony said, his nose scrunched up in concentration as he tried to loop the pink ribbon around the invitation. Simon had never gone by his father’s name Hastings, he had always gone with his mother’s maiden name. “We’re popular people.”

Anthony shot a glare at Eloise as she muttered wanker under her breath.

“This is only the engagement party. The wedding won’t be until next summer and there’s so much to plan and do in the meantime,” Daphne said, looking frazzled as she tucked her pile of envelopes neatly into the box on the table. “We’re not going to rush anything.”

Anthony and Benedict simultaneously snorted and Sophie and Kate kicked them under the table.

“Speaking of things to do,” Daphne said, standing up and putting her hands on her hip. “Kate.”

“Daphne,” Kate replied, eyeing her warily. Daphne was smiling so widely it almost looked painful, positively beaming at Kate. “Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect,” squealed Daphne, clapping her hands together. Kate shot a confused glance at Anthony, who shrugged back at her with an amused glint in his eyes. “I need you to close your eyes for a second.”

“Okay,” said Kate, closing her eyes hesitantly and lifting her hands up slightly in the air. “If anyone puts anything near my face, or on my face, I will hurt you.”

“Open! Read the envelope!”

There was a loud smack as something was put in front of her, Kate opened up her eyes to see a large hamper in front of her. It was a soft pink, a wooden hamper wrapped in film and topped with a large pink bow. It had an envelope with her name cursively written on the front. She could see an assortment of candles, hand cream, soaps, body lotion, chocolate, sweets, a silk dressing gown and slippers and other things in the hamper. There was also a beautiful bouquet of red tulips. Kate was so confused. “It’s not my birthday.” She said slowly, reaching and opening up the envelope.

>i>Kate,

Will you be my bridesmaid?

Lots of love,

Daphne

“Oh my gosh.” Kate managed to say, words completely failing her as she glanced up at Daphne’s beaming face and back down at the invitation. There was no stopping the wave of emotion that crept up her throat and flooded her eyes as she constantly re-read the words in front of her.

“Oh Kate,” Daphne said softly, one of her hand’s covering her heart as she rested her head on top of Kates, wrapping her arm around her. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying!” Kate said quickly, keeping her head down to avoid anyone seeing her red, watery eyes but it was definitely too late. She hugged Daphne back, practically clinging to her. This meant so much to her. “It’s hayfever.”

Kate didn’t have to look at Anthony’s smug face to know he was smirking as he spoke. “It’s January.”

Kate turned to Anthony to glare at him. “Eat glass.”

Anthony chuckled softly, nudging Daphne off of Kate and wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she furiously wiped at her eyes. She shoved him off but couldn’t stop the smile breaking out on her face as Anthony smiled down at her.

“Are you sure?” said Kate, looking up finally and meeting Daphne’s warm eyes and beaming face. “I would love to. Thank you so much. This is incredible. This is...so nice. I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

Kate had never thought for a second she would be asked. She had struggled with making friends for most of her life, it wasn’t that she didn’t have them-she had quite a few. Anthony was the closest friend she had ever had and with him, she had become a part of something that had allowed her to form friendships and relationships with his family that were more than just her connection to Anthony.

It really meant everything.

“Oh, Kate.” Daphne said softly, squeezing her shoulders softly and wiping a tear trailing down her cheek that had escaped her eye. “Of course I want you to be my bridesmaid. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

She didn’t really know what to say. Her entire life had just been her Dad, Mary and Edwina and friends who had come and gone, and suddenly there was the whole Bridgerton clan who sent her birthday presents and Christmas cards, who invited her over for dinner and texted to meet up or just to catch up.

It was really wonderful to be liked by people like the Bridgertons.

“I’m so happy. I’ve asked everyone now!” Daphne smiled in satisfaction, walking back over to her seat and shooting a smile at Simon, who was gazing at her adoringly. “I’ve asked Fran, you, El, Rebecca, Alana, Tara and Greta. You’re definitely the best reaction I’ve had so far. Some people were less than satisfactory.” Daphne shot a pointed look at Eloise.

“Oh, get over it Daphne,” Eloise grumbled, struggling to tie a ribbon around an envelope. “I said yes, didn’t I?”

“This is all incredible. Thank you so much. These are absolutely beautiful,” said Kate, looking through the hamper in wonder as she picked up everything and smelt it or ate it. “Tulips are my favourite flower.”

Daphne glanced at Anthony, who had been gazing at Kate as she looked through her hamper. He met his sister’s eyes questionably. “Just a lucky guess.” She exchanged a smirk with Simon, who looked down at his stack of envelopes in amusement.

“We’re expected to bring dates?” Eloise asked, looking around the table with an exasperated look as she waved an invitation in the air. It appeared that she only just read the invitations. “Everyone is in a relationship except me. How am I meant to find one of those?”

“By asking someone.” Benedict suggested, slightly mocking his sister who flipped him off.

Eloise scowled. “I don’t like people.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Anthony said, clearly unimpressed about the thought of his sister bringing someone to the wedding. “The wedding will be after your first year at university. You’ll find someone you can’t shake, as much as you try to.”

Anthony shot a grin at Kate, who stuck her tongue out at him.

“Why don’t you bring Penelope? She’s lovely.” Kate suggested, turning away from Anthony and tying another bow around an envelope. She was nearly on the C part of her list.

“That’s easy for you two to say,” Eloise grumbled, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “You two don’t have to worry about a date. Oh! Pen is actually a good idea. She loves romance and all that rubbish.”

Anthony paused trying to tie his ribbon, where he using Kate’s finger to tie the bow. He frowned at Eloise. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Why wouldn’t you what?”

“Why wouldn’t we have to worry about a date?”

Eloise shrugged, frowning slightly at her brother’s question. “Oh. I presumed you’d be going together.”

“Why would you presume that?” Anthony asked, his tone a little sharper than usual.

“Anthony, stop.” Kate murmured, frowning at his tone of his voice and just his overall demeanor. What the fuck was so offensive about that presumption? It was completely fair. They went to nearly everything together. Every gala, every work event, even two weddings last year.

“Well, you two do everything together, Anthony.” Eloise replied sharply back, a slightly challenging look on her face as a response to her brother’s blunt tone and slight attitude. Kate glanced at Sophie, who widened her eyes slightly before focusing on organizing her stack of envelopes. “What’s your problem?”

“I’ve no problem at all,” Anthony gave her a dry smile, a stone cold look on his face. His phone started to ring, vibrating against the table. “Excuse me. Anthony Bridgerton.” He stood up, walking out of the dining room to take his call.

“What is with him lately?” Eloise asked the table, a disgruntled look on her face as she organized her finished envelopes into Daphne’s box. “He’s been more moody and off than usual.”

It seems like Kate wasn’t the only one who had noticed something was wrong. She caught Benedict’s eye, who shrugged but he glanced at the door where Anthony had disappeared through.

Kate shook it off, but she was internally panicking. She had presumed they would be going to the wedding together. Her dating life had been dead for two months. She hardly bothered anymore, she just didn’t see the point.

They could be an amazing person, but they would never be Anthony.

It was rather pathetic. She knew it was. She needed to cut the final string and tell him how she felt. If he didn’t feel the same, at least she would be free. But how could she? How could she risk losing him forever? She would rather have the parts of him she could have than none of him at all.

Or did she?

Kate wasn’t so sure anymore.

Anthony was gone for longer than expected. Kate had gone to check on him once but he had disappeared into his father’s study, closing the door behind him. He walked back into the room twenty minutes later, clearing his throat to interrupt the small chatter around the table. He looked furious. “Colin has been arrested.”

“Oh my god.”

“What happened?”

“Is he okay?”

“He was arrested for public indecency and public intoxication. He’s fine. We’re going to bail him out now. He’s not going to be charged. It’s been sorted. I’ve told Mum, she’s on her way home.”

“Isn’t he out on a date with Marina?” Sophie asked, raising an eyebrow at Benedict and at the rest of the table. Kate had only met Marina once, who was Colin’s new girlfriend he had met skiing in France over Christmas. He was head over heels in love with her, the first girl according to Anthony he had ever brought home to meet his family.

Daphne shook her head, running a hand through her head and sighing loudly. “I knew there was something off about that Marina girl. Poor Colin.”

“Poor Colin? He’s the one who got himself arrested. I hardly think it’s Marina’s fault. This is Colin we’re talking about,” Eloise said, narrowing her eyes at Daphne. “I love him but he’s a fucking idiot.”

“Eloise!” Daphne exclaimed, gasping at her sister.

Benedict shrugged. “El has a point, Daph. Colin has broken about three bones from jumping off things drunk. Usually half-naked.”

There was a grimace around the table. That was a picture no one wanted to imagine.

Anthony was still standing there, unsettlingly calm and still. His phone was still in his hand, which was slightly shaking. He was staring into nothing as his siblings argued across the table.

“What can I do?” Kate asked in a lower voice, standing up to move beside him. She placed a comforting hand on his upper arm, but there wasn’t much she could do. Colin and Anthony’s relationship had always been complex. They were so close but very different people. This wasn’t a situation that Anthony

Anthony shook his head. “Nothing. It’s okay. Ben and Simon will come with me. We’ll be back soon.”

Kate couldn’t stop the hurt look that flashed across her face as she watched him gesture towards the boys and walk towards the door. Everyone else looked equally confused, mainly because he was asking Simon to come over Kate. Benedict shot Kate a small smile, offering a silent apology before following his brother. Simon quickly kissed Daphne before following them.

Kate sat there as Sophie and Daphne got updates from Ben and Simon. Her phone didn’t buzz once. Colin was okay and he would only have to pay a large fine. He had been with some of his friends who had also been arrested. Anthony had used one of his father’s connections to try to make sure the arrest wouldn’t be on his permanent record and one of Colin’s friends' dad was high in the police force and had made sure it wouldn’t be on any of their records.

It was two hours, at approximately 11pm, when the front door slammed followed by loud voices. They belonged to Anthony, Benedict and Colin.

“That’s not an excuse to throw your life away. You have one and a half years left.” Anthony was shouting at Colin, who stormed in before Anthony and let out an annoyed sigh as he noticed everyone was in the living room waiting for them. Daphne launched herself at Colin, wrapping him in a hug and flicking him in the head at the same time.

“You idiot! I thought you were out with Marina?” Daphne began her interrogation immediately after she had let go of Colin, her relief fading into a frown as she stared at Colin. “What happened? What were you thinking?

“Marina broke up with me,” Colin said, a hurt look splashing over his face and quickly disappearing, being replaced with a hard demeanor. “She was still in love with her ex-boyfriend and she had been seeing him. She dumped me and I met up with the boys afterwards. Things just got out of hand.”

“Oh Col,” Daphne murmured softly, shaking her head and giving him a reassuring smile. “I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay. Are you okay?”

“Colin,” Anthony announced loudly, ignoring the warning look from Violet who was glancing anxiously between Anthony and Colin. “Wants to drop out of university.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard,” Eloise said quickly, staring at Colin with a mixture of shock and outrage. “You have one year left. Isn’t twenty-two sort of young to have a life crisis?”

“Stay out of it Eloise,” Colin barked, glaring at his sister before turning back around to Anthony. “It’s my life. I can do what I want with it.”

“Oh sure you can,” Anthony said, bitterly laughing as he poured himself a whiskey at the bar in the corner of the room. “You’re truly doing such a smashing job.”

“We all need to calm down.” Benedict said, intervening before this heated argument exploded. Anthony and Colin had always clashed heads when it came to Colin’s life decisions. He had been suspended twice during school and had been extremely difficult when it came to going to university. Kate had watched Anthony spend months trying to convince him to go and it had resulted in a lot of stress and arguments.

Sophie, Simon and Kate sort of sunk into the background. They were around the Bridgertons most of the time but this was a family situation they weren’t a part of. It was very uncomfortable to witness.

“We made a deal. You would get your gap year and I’d support you traveling after university, when you finished it. Your marks have been brilliant, Colin. It’s one bloody year. You have to get your degree.”

“Why? Because Dad did?”

“No,” Anthony said sharply, his jaw slightly shaking as he tried to remain calm. He looked like he was about to explode. “Because it’s a privilege. University degrees open up doors and give you opportunities. They give you protection and access to jobs. I have already paid for two years of your degree and now all your hard work is going to go down the drain because you’ve suddenly changed your mind? That’s not happening. You’re getting that degree.”

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do with my life, Anthony.”

“Why did you call me then?”

Colin paused. “What?”

“When you got arrested. Why did you call me?”

Colin stared at him. He didn’t have an answer to that.

“Why didn’t you call Mum? Or Ben? Or Daph? Or one of your friends.”

“Oh, now you’ve got nothing to say?” Anthony let out a high pitched laugh, shaking his head. “I’ll tell you why. You called me because I show up. I’ll sort it out for you. Like I always do. I’m beginning to think that was a big mistake. I honour my commitments. Why can’t you do the same?”

“We can discuss this in the morning when everyone is calmer and not so worked up,” Violet said, finally intervening and smiling calmly at Anthony and Colin. She wanted to stop this fight before it got too far, but it already had. Her tactic of pretending everything was fine was not going to work this time. “We need to all go home and go to bed. The little ones are sleeping and we’re not going to wake them.”

“Why aren’t you doing something?” Anthony asked, staring at his mother in bewilderment. He sounded so heartbroken and lost, almost desperate. “You’re the parent here. He’s about to throw his entire life away.”

“I’m not throwing my entire life away, I’m throwing away the life that you wanted for me. Not what I wanted.” “So what are you going to do then? Travel around for the rest of your life with no qualifications?” Anthony’s words were daggers, pushing Colin further and further over the edge. “With what money, Colin? I won’t give you a penny. You’ve never had a bloody job. You’ve never had any responsibilities. Wake the fuck up. You’re acting like a spoiled little brat.”

“Fuck you,” Colin snapped, Benedict’s hand moving towards his chest to push him away from Anthony. Benedict was in between them, Simon quickly joining him as well. “I’ll figure it out. I don’t need to try to be a carbon copy of Dad to figure out my life. I’m not you, Anthony. Desperately trying to be someone he’ll never be.”

“That’s bang out of order.” Simon snapped, standing up slightly and only stopping himself from moving forward when Daphne put a hand on his chest.

“Colin, that’s too far,” Benedict snapped, glaring at his younger brother with a look that made the hairs on Kate’s arms stand up. She stood up anyway, watching Anthony as his face completely fell. This was his achilles heel. He had been through a similar argument with . Colin knew exactly what he was doing. Bringing up their father was exactly how you hurt Anthony. “You’re not dropping out of university. It’s not an option. We all care about you. You’re hurt and probably still drunk. You’re not thinking rationally.”

“Stop it Colin, that’s not fair,” Daphne said, shaking her head. “I agree with Anthony. He wants what is best for you. We all do.”

“Anthony,” Kate said softly, grabbing her coat and his off the dining room chairs. “I think we should go home. Come on.”

Anthony completely ignored Kate. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Colin didn’t cower down. He stood his ground and stared blankly back at his brother. “I think you heard me.”

Kate couldn’t stop herself from glaring in disgust at Colin. This was too far. Anthony wasn’t being exactly fair, she knew university was something Colin had never been sure about. It wasn’t as if he was completely miserable. He was having the time of his life when he was there. He just was confused and heartbroken and he wanted to run away.

“Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I want to do this?”

It had gone too far and Anthony had finally reached his breaking point.

“I went to the parent teacher meetings. I made your lunches and dinners. I didn’t go on my gap year. You all got to go on your gap years. Do you know how I spent it? I was the one who sorted out Dad’s will. I took care of Mum when she couldn’t get out of bed. I took care of a newborn baby and a two year old. I took care of all of you. I did all that. Have I ever said anything about it? No. I did it because I had no choice. My dad died too.”

There was complete silence in the living room as everyone stared at Anthony’s outburst.

“Anthony.” Violet croaked, staring at her eldest son in disbelief. Violet hadn’t been well for the first few years after Edmund’s death. She had barely gotten out of bed , Anthony had said she was like a ghost. Anthony had really gotten involved in everything to do with his siblings from the moment his father died. He’d had no choice.

Kate knew the pain of losing someone you loved. She missed her father everyday. She couldn’t blame Violet for how she mourned the love of her life but she couldn’t help but resent her for what she forced her eldest son to do because she couldn’t. He had been a child too.

“Go ahead, Mum. Indulge him. It’s what you do best.” Anthony looked at his mother with a look of such disappointment, it was hard to watch. “It’s your life, Colin. Do whatever you want. I’m done.”

“Ant.” Ben pleaded, staring in disbelief at his brother’s outburst. Sophie had her arm around Eloise, who was crying into her shoulder. Anthony shook off Ben’s arm on his shoulder.

Anthony ignored him. “Kate, let’s go home.”

Kate couldn’t stop herself from throwing Colin a disappointed look as she followed Anthony out of the door, shooting the rest of the Bridgertons a sad smile before they walked out of the house. It was a promise to take care of him.

“Please, let me drive.” Kate said softly, slowly wrapping her arms around his hand to take the keys out of his hand. Thankfully, Anthony didn’t protest.

The drive home was completely silent. Kate tried to focus on the road but she couldn’t stop herself from glancing at Anthony in the passenger seat. He just stared straight ahead of him, not uttering a word to her the entire trip.

They entered the flat slowly, the only sound being the door closing and the rattle of the keys as Kate put them in the bowl beside the door. Anthony moved to sit on the couch as Kate made her way into the kitchen, making them both a cup of tea.

“I made you some tea,” She said, keeping voice low as she walked around the couch, anxiously staring at Anthony. She felt so helpless.

Anthony had his face in his hands, bent forward. He was shaking. Newton was pawing at his feet, whimpering slightly as nudged Anthony’s legs with his nose.

Kate blinked a few times before she realized what was happening.

Anthony was crying.

“I’m here.” She whispered, quickly putting the mugs down and sitting beside him, wrapping her arms around him. She pulled his head against her chest, holding him as tight as she could.

His sobs racked through his body, shaking and stuttering.

In the eight year she had known him, she had never seen Anthony cry. This wasn’t just crying. This was nine years of grief, hurt and emotion finally coming to the surface and breaking free.

She held him until he couldn’t cry anymore.

The following morning, Kate got up from the couch where Anthony, Newton and her were watching Ted Lasso when they heard a knock on the door. She had been texting the Bridgertons this morning, assuring them Anthony was doing okay. He was better than he was last night, he just seemed exhausted.

Kate was still reeling from the events of last night. When she opened the door, the last person she expected to see was Colin Bridgerton.

“Kate. Hi.”

Kate fixed him with a hard stare.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m actually debating whether I should punch you.”

“That’s fair.”

Kate shook her head. “Nothing about last night was fair, Colin. He didn’t deserve that.”

“I know,” He said, his voice wavering slightly as he looked down at the ground. He did look terrible. He hadn’t shaved this morning so there was a light shadow of stubble on his cheeks and dark bags under his eyes. He looked terrible and it made Kate feel slightly better. “I’m trying to fix it. Can I come in?”

“That’s not up to me.”

“It’s okay, Kate.” Her head flicked around to see Anthony standing behind her at the end of the hall. “He can come in.”

Kate stepped aside to let Colin in, closing the door behind him as she watched Colin cautiously walk towards his older brother. Anthony made his way towards the couch and Colin hoovered awkwardly before taking a seat on the opposite end of it.

Kate went to put on the kettle, leaning down to scratch behind Newton’s ears. He had his lead in his hand. It was about time for his walk.

“Can I’ve a cuppa?” Colin asked, glancing cautiously over at Kate and then back at Anthony.

Kate didn’t turn around. “I can’t promise I won’t spit in it.”

“Actually, I’m good.”

“Newton needs to go on his walk anyway,” Kate said, deciding that they probably needed time to talk alone. She was intruding and this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation for either of them. “I’ll leave you two to it. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Anthony turned around to look at her, smiling softly at her and nodding his head. He’d be okay. She grabbed her hoodie off the couch, quickly pulling it on. She smiled back at him before she headed for the door and left the two brothers to figure it out.

“Ready to go?”

“Here, let me help.” Kate said softly, reaching her hands up to fix Anthony’s blue tie. His white shirt was crisp and bright, complimenting the dark navy suit. Daphne’s dress code was anti-black tie, so Kate had gone with a lilac dress that reached her the middle of her knees.

Kate felt something crinkle under his shirt pocket and she raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“Oh,” Anthony said, his cheeks darkening slightly. “It’s for my speech.”

Kate felt herself fall even harder. This man. “You made flashcards.”

“I just want to say the right thing.” He murmured, very flustered. Bless him, Anthony was nervous.

“You will,” Kate said reassuringly, fixing his jacket one last time before she let go. “Just speak from the heart.”

“Let’s go,” He said, his cheeks still slightly pink as he grabbed his keys. “Our uber is downstairs.”

Daphne and Simon’s engagement party was taking place in the ballroom of the Ritz Hotel in London. Their engagement announcement had been posted in the London Times and it had been the topic of the week all over magazines and social media. The party was going to be extravagant. They had an open bar, a three course meal and a live band.

“Oh my god.”

The ballroom was beautiful. Each wooden chair had flowers tied to the back of it, surrounding tables set with golden cutlery with a large rose centerpiece. The tables surrounded the large dancefloor, which had a live band playing on the stage in front of it. Kate could see Benedict and Sophie dancing in the distance.

“Is that an ice sculpture of their initials?” A large ice sculpture of a D and S stood in the middle of the room on a large white table.

“Daph knows how to plan a party,” Anthony said, shrugging as he gazed around the ballroom with a small smile. “Let’s find that open bar.”

It had been a week since his argument with Colin and their conversation the next morning had sorted it out. Anthony didn’t go into too much detail but it had been a very freeing conversation for the both of them. Colin had apologized and he decided he was going to stick with university. Anthony had been good since then. He wasn’t acting distant at all. If anything, he had spent a lot more time with Kate than he needed to.

“A whiskey and a vodka cranberry please,” Anthony said to the bartender, leaning against the bar once they made their way through the crowd after stopping to say hello to various guests. “I still can’t believe this is actually happening.”

She nodded. “I still can’t believe she asked me to be her bridesmaid.”

“I can,” He said it so bluntly, as if it’s obvious. “You’re family, Kate.”

They shared a small smile, that warm feeling fluttering widely inside of her stomach. “You’re my family too.”

“Before you ask,” Kate said, swiftly moving on from their heartfelt moment as it was a little too much to handle at the moment. Emotions made her hot and she couldn’t afford to sweat in this dress. She didn’t want to have to try dry her sweat patches in the bathroom again. “I am not going suit shopping with you.”

“Oh, no problem there,” said Anthony, a devilish smirk on his face. “You’ll be too busy dress shopping with Daphne.”

The smile dropped right off Kate’s face.

They were all sitting at their respective tables later in the evening during dinner. Dessert had been served and it was time for Anthony’s speech. The Bridgertons were at one large table in the centre of the room, along with Kate and Sophie. Gregory was sitting on Kate’s lap, since he had kept flicking peas at Hyacinth during dinner.

Anthony clinked his champagne flute, standing up and clearing his throat. “Hello, everyone. If we haven’t met, I’m Anthony Bridgerton. Brother of the bride and best friend of the groom.” Kate’s eyes flicked towards Simon, whose face broke out into a small smile he tried to contain. “On behalf of my family and Simon and Daphne, I would like to thank you all for joining us to celebrate their engagement.”

There was a loud clatter of hands clapping throughout the room before they faded softly as Anthony continued to speak. “Normally, this would be when the father of the bride would speak. Our father couldn’t be here with us today, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

There was a small ring of laughter around the room with a hint of sadness. Edmund Bridgerton’s absence

“I’ll make this quick as I know everyone is eager to dance and get back to the open bar. I’m incredibly proud to be Daphne’s brother. I’m also incredibly proud to be Simon’s best friend and best man. I’ve watched Daphne grow up and no one can take credit for the incredible woman she has become. I’m eternally grateful I have gotten to witness it.”

“I’ve known Simon since we were eleven years old. I’ve also witnessed Simon growing up, which really only started when he was twenty four years old.” There was another ring of laughter around the room, including Simons. Since Simon had stood up for Anthony during his argument with Colin, things had turned a new leaf with them. He had popped around the flat after Colin had gone to see Anthony. He had been over three times this week alone. It reminded Kate of how it was before.

He had even asked Anthony to be his best man yesterday during a round of golf.

“I’m very happy that you two have found each other. Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and being brave enough to take that opportunity and hold onto it is a very admirable thing. It’s an incredible thing, to find someone who makes everything make sense.” Anthony cleared his throat, clearly a bit flustered. “I’d like to raise a glass to Daphne and Simon. I wish you both nothing but happiness and love for the rest of your lives. To Daphne and Simon.”

“To Daphne and Simon!” The crowd echoed as everyone raised their glass to the happy couple.

There was a loud round of applause, including Daphne and Simon standing up to hug Anthony after he finished his speech. Kate shot him a wide smile as Hyacinth dragged him onto the dancefloor as the band began to play. He had promised her to dance all evening and it was finally time.

Kate smiled as she watched Anthony dance with Hyacinth on the dancefloor. She was standing on his feet, giggling loudly as Anthony moved her around the dancefloor on his shoes. He also lifted her up, twirling her around.

“You look absolutely gorgeous tonight.”

Kate turned around, slightly startled and smiled as Violet Bridgerton sat down beside her. “Thank you. So do you. This is an incredible party.”

“I can’t believe my baby is getting married,” Violet said softly, smiling at Daphne and Simon dancing and laughing on the dance floor. “It seems like only yesterday she was asking me to tie her shoelaces. Now I’m helping her plan her wedding.”

Kate laughed softly, giving Violet a warm smile. “Please don’t let her put me in a poofy dress.”

Violet laughed loudly, shaking her head. “I promise. It’s the least I could do for you, Kate.”

Kate noticed how Violet’s tone dropped as she spoke and she turned to look at her in confusion.

“I owe you a great deal, Kate. After everything that happened last week,” Violet said, her voice trailing off slightly as she composed herself before continuing. “I truly realized that you have been the person who was there for Anthony like I should have been. I know I failed him. It’s something I will carry with me forever. I can only try to be better. I’m just incredibly grateful that you were there for him in ways I wasn’t.”

Kate opened her mouth to speak but she didn’t know how she could reply to that. She had to say something. “I always will be. You raised a very good person.”

“I’m glad you’re the longest relationship Anthony’s ever had.”

Kate turned to her, puzzled with slightly pink cheeks. “You mean friendship.“

Violet just smiled, a dangerous smile that made Kate anxious, and turned her head back to the dancefloor.

Kate downed her champagne glass in one gulp.

She made eye contact with Anthony across the room, who was now alone as Hyacinth ran off after Gregory outside towards the gardens. Anthony strode towards her, looking incredibly free and handsome in his suit. He extended his hand toward her. “Dance with me, Sheffield. Come on.”

Kate rolled her eyes, slipping her hand into his. “If I must.”

Anthony led her to the dancefloor, where they slowly swayed as the music turned to a slow song. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck, ignoring the intimacy of their current position. “That was quite a speech, Bridgerton.”

“Thank you,” Anthony said, smiling down at her as his hand moved to grip her waist. “I took someone’s advice and spoke from the heart.”

“She sounds really smart.”

“She’s a pain in the arse, actually.”

Kate stuck out her tongue, which only made Anthony laugh harder. “Thank you. It was good advice.”

“Your dad would have been proud. It truly was lovely.”

“Thanks, Kate.” He said softly, leaning his head forward until his chin rested lightly on the top of her head.

They swayed there until the music changed and Anthony begant to twirl her around. They were eventually joined by Edwina, Matthew and the rest of the Bridgertons. Everyone was laughing and dancing the night away.

It was one of the best nights of her life.

All the inner turmoil and anguish she had felt lately wasn’t at the surface for once. She still didn’t know whether she was going to tell Anthony how she felt. She didn’t want to think about it tonight. Anthony was smiling and he seemed to be himself again.

Kate had a feeling things were finally going to get better.

How wrong she was.

.

Henry Granville, a renowned English artist and owner of London’s famous galleries had contacted Benedict earlier in the year to set up a gallery of his photography in one of his galleries.

Benedict’s instagram fame had caught the attention of Henry, who asked Benedict to show him his portfolios and more of his photographs. They had set up the exhibit together. He had taken Benedict under his wing, he was helping Ben explore painting and improve his skills.

Tonight was the opening night of his photography exhibit in the gallery.

Kate had finally moved into her flat during the week, so scrambling through her boxes to try to find a suitable dress and heels was a challenge but she finally looked presentable by the time Anthony arrived in their Uber to pick her up.

She went with white heels and a long black bodycon dress she wore to meetings with their most expensive clients at work. Art was for posh people, so Kate presumed the dress code was extra-fancy tonight. She wasn’t taking any chances.

Kate was waiting on the path as Anthony and the uber pulled up. She opened up the door, grinning at him and twirling. “Do I look like someone who understands art?”

“Absolutely,” Anthony said, laughing at her as he scooted over to let her climb in. “All you need is an easel and a paintbrush and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. You look great, by the way.”

Kate blushed slightly, biting her lip. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“What do you know about art?”

Absolutely piss all. “I know that guy. Leonardo DiCaprio?”

Anthony snorted. “DaVinci.”

“That’s the one.”

They arrived at the gallery, which was already packed as the opening night was in full swing. They made their way through the gallery until they found Benedict, who had a beaming Sophie beside her.

Kate gave her a big hug, grinning at her. “Excuse me. We’re in a gallery and I’m looking at a masterpiece.”

“Oh stop it,” Sophie said, laughing at her as she wrapped her arms around Kate and kissed her cheek. Sophie’s long blonde hair lay in bouncy curls down her back and she was wearing a beautiful silk baby blue dress. “You look absolutely beautiful, Kate.”

“I’m proud of you.” Anthony said, ruffling Benedict’s hair and putting him in a headlock.

Kate reached up to hug him, “It’s amazing. Seriously Ben, well done.”

“Have you been around fully yet?”

Kate shook her head. “No, not yet. We just got here.”

Benedict gave Anthony and Kate a strange look. “I’ll catch up with you two before you get to the last piece. The exhibit starts over there.”

Kate shot Anthony a questioning look but he just shrugged, nodding as he clapped Benedict on the shoulder as they headed towards the

The exhibit was fantastic. The photographs were incredible. It was an exhibit of life. There was a lot from his travels in recent years, from Africa to the Alps. He had pictures of animals from his trip around Africa two years ago. There was a picture of Sophie laughing, with her head tilted back and her wavy hair floating in the air. There was a picture of Anthony, with Hyacinth on his shoulders and Gregory in his arms.

When Kate finally saw the last photo, Benedict’s strange behaviour earlier suddenly made a lot of sense.

It was a picture of them.

It was titled eight years.

It was a large canvas. Every part of the canvas was covered in pictures of them and some faded into the background. They were pictures taken throughout the years, taken by Benedict. They were laughing at each other in most of them, with faces looking at each other and not at the camera.

Kate felt so incredibly overwhelmed. From the look of shock on Anthony’s face that mirrored her own, he hadn’t known about this either. They didn’t say one word to each other. They just stared at the pictures in front of them.

Kate quickly noticed the pictures were in chronological order. The first picture in the top corner of the canvas was when Ben visited Anthony during the second month of university. The two of them were lying on the grass in one of the college’s gardens, a bottle of champagne between them.

It was almost like Ben was trying to tell a story.

Their story.

The story of us.

There were so many pictures. There was another picture of Kate posing with Anthony’s lucky black mallet, after the annual Bridgerton pall mall game, with a sulking Anthony beside her during her first trip to Aubrey Hall. There was another picture of them, with her on his back. It was when they had finished their final exams for the last time, covered in confetti and champagne that their friends had sprayed all over them.

There was a picture of them laughing at each other in their graduation robes. There was another one of them and Newton at a park. There was another of them swinging Hyacinth between them at her birthday party. There was another of them dancing at Simon and Daphne’s engagement party.

“If it isn’t the stars of the hour,” A man said loudly, appearing beside Kate and Anthony and extending his hand. “I would recognize you two anywhere. I’m Henry Granville. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You have a very talented brother, Mr. Bridgerton.”

Kate and Anthony shook his hand warily, both still staring at the picture as they introduced themselves. Benedict and Sophie appeared at his side and the anxious look on Benedict’s face told it all. He glanced warily at Anthony, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the canvas.

“It’s an excellent piece,” Henry said, cheerfully grinning at Kate, Anthony, Benedict and Sophie. “It’s the most popular piece so far. I had to insist Benedict include it in the exhibit.”

“What did you say again was your inspiration behind it?” Henry asked, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere in their current conversation.

Benedict took a moment before he replied. “The truth.”

Kate didn’t know what was going on. She wasn’t sure what Benedict meant and she really didn’t want to let herself fall into a trap that would end with her feelings hurt. Dreams were dreams and they couldn’t always be indulged. What did he mean by the truth?

“Excuse me.” Anthony said sharply, turning around and practically running away from the conversation.

“It was so nice to meet you.” Kate said, smiling apologetically as she made her way through the crowd, following Anthony’s brown head out towards the emergency exit that led to an ally.

“What was that about?” Kate asked, catching her breath as the cool night air hit her. She wrapped her arms around herself, her coat was in the cloak room inside. “That was really rude, Anthony.”

Anthony stared at her in disbelief, the fine lines on his forehead showing how stressed and tense he was. He looked absolutely furious.

“Did I miss something? Why are you so angry?” Kate didn’t know why she was playing dumb. She knew what the canvas looked like. It didn’t look like they were just friends. It was incredibly intimate and she didn’t think it was okay for Benedict to display them like that. She didn’t care about that at that moment. She didn’t understand why the thought of people perceiving them to be together was so upsetting to Anthony and she wanted to know why. She had to know.

It was finally time to confess.

“He should have asked.”

“Ben?” Yeah, sure. It was an intimate photograph. Kate didn’t really warm to the idea of her pictures being up for so many people to see but she didn’t mind it if it was Benedict’s way of expressing his art. “It’s only a few photos. The one of you, Hyacinth and Gregory is lovely.”

“I’m not talking about the others,” He said harshly, leaning against the brick wall of the gallery building. “That’s the one I have the problem with.”

What was so offensive about it? Kate felt herself getting defensive, not of the bloody pictures but of herself. “It’s just a few pictures, Anthony.”

“Do you not see what was on that canvas?” Anthony asked her, waving his arms in the air. “He’s made it look like we’re together.”

“No he hasn’t,” Kate spluttered, starting to feel incredibly warm despite the freezing January air. “It’s just a canvas of...friendship.”

“Come off it,” Anthony said bitterly, shaking his head in disbelief. “He’s made it out to be one big fucking love story.”

There it was.

He sounded disgusted, as if the thought of them being together was so unfathomable it was sickening. Kate stared at him, feeling an overwhelming sinking feeling in her stomach.

Anthony was pacing back and forth in the ally, the horns and ruckus of London fading into the background. He had pulled his tie off, the blue satin material was hanging loosely around his neck.

“Why are you so upset?” Kate asked, not entirely sure if she was ready for his answer. She was confused and upset about his outburst inside and about how stressed he looked. She knew Anthony more than she knew herself and a pacing, disheveled Anthony meant something was very wrong.

It was the calm before the storm.

”Why aren’t you?” His head snapped to the side to look at her as he finally came to a stop.

“Are we finally doing this then?” Kate’s question hung in the air, the weight of its implications making Kate’s chest tighten painfully.

He let out a deep sigh, their eyes never breaking contact as the meaning of her words sunk into them. He knew what she was asking but he chose to pretend he didn’t. “Doing what, Kate?”

“Being honest.”

“I’m not getting into this with you.” He said, shaking his head as he started to walk away from her. Kate was not letting that happen. He didn’t get to run away. She grabbed his arm, not roughly but firmly enough so he would stop.

The confusion and emotions of the last few weeks was rising to the surface. She didn’t want to stop it. Anthony had been so distant for weeks and then he spent a week back to normal. Now he’s angry with her over a photo? It wasn’t fair.

“I want to know what the hell has been going on with you. I don’t deserve this. You’re meant to be my best friend and up until last week, you were barely speaking to me. We lived together and I never saw you. You were avoiding me. Why?”

Anthony gulped, breaking eye contact as he processed her words. “I wasn’t avoiding you.” That was a pathetic attempt at a lie, especially for Anthony.

“It’s been eight years, Anthony,” Kate said bluntly. “I know by now when you’re lying.”

“Maybe I’ve had things going on, Kate. Things that have nothing to do with you.”

“I’m meant to be your best friend. Why can’t you talk to me about what’s been going on with you? We’ve never done that before. We’ve always told each other everything-”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Anthony swiftly interrupted her, shaking his head in disbelief. “You want to be honest? Let’s be honest. There’s always been something I can’t talk to you about Kate!” He snapped, finally losing his composure. “There’s always been things we can’t talk to each other about.”

“Like what?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m smarter than you, Anthony.” They were glaring furiously at each other, this was an argument like no other they had ever had before. “I just didn’t think you were brave enough to say it. Clearly, I was right.”

It was a challenge and he took the bait.

“Fine then,” He said, his lips in a flat line. “Why didn’t you like Siena?”

Kate hadn’t expected that. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Why didn’t you like David?” She retorted, raising an eyebrow.

“And I’m not the brave one? Well, let’s see. How long do we have?” Anthony waved his watch in the air. “Should I start with the cheating or him being a complete knob?”

Kate shook her head in disbelief. “I knew you would never take this conversation seriously. Go ahead. We both know you didn’t like him because he was with me. But go ahead. Just avoid talking about your feelings with excuses, sarcasm and insults. How’s that been working out for you?”

“Fine!” She shrieked, waving her hands in the air. “I didn’t like Siena because I liked you, Anthony. I didn’t just like you. I loved you. I was completely and utterly in love with you. No, actually, I am completely and utterly in love with you. I’ve tried everything. I can’t shake it. I can’t shake you. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep dancing around my feelings for you. I’ve doubted myself for so long, that it wasn’t possible for you to feel the same way. But you haven’t been fair. There’s been so many moments where it wasn’t just me. Friends don’t behave like we do.”

Her confession left them both stunned, the weight of its implications hanging in the air. Anthony stared at her in complete disbelief. He didn’t say anything. The silence turned into a minute as they stood there in that alley, neither of them saying a word.

He wasn’t saying anything. He wasn’t saying it back. He just stared at her with a blank expression.

Kate had to protect herself now.

“I’m sorry the thought of being with me is so hard to stomach, Anthony, but get the fuck over yourself. You’re being incredibly selfish, this is Benedict’s day. I know it’s difficult, but not everything is about you. It’s just a bloody picture.”

“That’s not what I meant,” He started, but scowled. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? That picture is going to make people think we’re together Kate.”

That was it. That was the reason he was so upset. He didn’t love her back. He barely acknowledged that she had just told him she had been in love with him for eight years. He didn’t want people to think they were together. That’s why he was so upset.

Her worst fear had been true all along.

He didn’t love her.

Kate would always hate herself for what she did next but in that moment, she wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her.

“Don’t worry Anthony,” She said dryly. “A few pictures with me hanging in a gallery won’t damage your chances of taking home some random girl so you can pretend for a while that you’re not completely fucking miserable.”

“Is that what you really think?” He asked, staring at her in disbelief. “I’m so sorry I’m not perfect, Kate. No one can ever live up to little Miss Perfect Kate Sheffield’s standards. Maybe if you got off your high and mighty pedestal and stopped judging me for a few seconds, you’d realize that at the end of the day, you’re just as fucking alone as I am. I just do something about it.”

“I would hardly call shagging random strangers doing something about it,” Kate snapped back, his words stinging her more than she would let him see. “At least my first instinct isn’t to sleep with anyone in sight because of how empty I am inside.”

“It’s better than staying with a prick for two years who made me fucking miserable. How did that work out for you?”

Kate gasped, as if he had knocked the wind out of her. “Fuck you.”

“I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry,” Anthony said, running his hands through his hair and pulling at it. “Kate. There’s a reason we have never happened. It wasn’t just you who flirted and felt..feel things. We wouldn’t work. We’re too good friends for something to ever happen. I’m not good at relationships. I’d find a way to fuck this up and lose you forever. Look at us now. We’d kill each other. It’s why it was best to forget what happened at my birthday-”

Kate completely froze. “What did you just say?”

Anthony's eyes widened as he stared at her, it dawned on him what he had just admitted.

“That morning,” Kate said slowly, shaking her head in disbelief. “You...you acted like you didn’t remember the kiss. You told me you didn’t remember anything that happened that night.”

Anthony actually looked ashamed. He looked down at the concrete and back up at her, biting his bottom lip. “I thought it was best to forget.”

“That’s so much worse. I...I’ve thought for the past year that you didn’t remember.” Kate looked up at him with horror. “Do I mean that little to you?”

Anthony rapidly shook his head. “Kate, I was protecting our friendship-”

She felt like she was going to get sick. “You’re a coward. How could you just-just pretend nothing happened? What is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship. What if we didn’t work out? How could we get past that? I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please, just listen-”

“Fuck your friendship. Do you know how terrible I’ve felt? How stupid I felt? That night meant everything to me, Anthony. I woke up that morning thinking everything that I had wanted was finally going to happen. I...I.” She stopped speaking, the lump in her throat taking over her ability to speak. “I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen years old.”

He reached his hand out towards her, which she slapped away. “Kate, please-”

“No, you know what,” She said, shaking her head erratically. “You were right the first time. Let’s forget. Actually, let’s just forget this. Let’s forget we were ever friends.”

For the second time in her life, she saw Anthony Bridgerton cry. “You don’t mean that,” He said with a shaky voice, quickly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Please, let me explain-”

“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Kate began to stumble back towards the door, wrenching it open. “Forget me. I don’t want to speak to you ever again.”

He didn’t call. Or text.

She nearly did a million times.

It had been exactly nine hours since the gallery and their argument, and it had been the longest nine hours of her life. Newton was with Mary for the week while Kate settled into her flat, so she was all alone. She didn’t want to think about him. She wouldn’t keep replaying their fight in her mind.

Kate had barely gone two days without speaking to Anthony since they’d become friends. Now, it would be forever.

She felt like she was dying, like she had lost this part of herself-and honestly, she had. She had never wanted that kind of love, that kind of need, where a person becomes a part of you. Losing her father had made her never want to feel that pain again.

Her father was gone. Now, so was Anthony.

She still got up and showered the next morning. On Saturdays, she always went roller skating with Edwina. Ed had been at the gallery last night and had tried to speak to Kate as she rushed through to grab her coat and go home. Kate told her she didn’t want to speak about it.

If she did, she would break.

Kate arrived half an hour early at Hyde Park. She had barely slept last night and she needed to get out of her flat before she screamed.

“You are fine. You’re going to skate in the park and forget about him. You’re fine.” She was now talking to herself. Her skating had improved over the past few months, she had even ditched the ugly knee pads Mary had bought her for Christmas. She pulled on her skates and began to skate through Hyde Park, music in her ears, and she only managed to think about Anthony only ever thirty seconds.

“Oh! I’m sorry buddy, I didn’t see you.” Kate said, quickly moving around a Labrador that had run in front of her in the pedestrian lane and stepping into the bike lane.

Kate didn’t see the bike that hit her a few seconds later either.

[akimmito]

Heroes are made by the path they choose

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Master List

Chapter 13

Being married to Lila Rossi, now Agreste, for six years has been... an experience. The woman goes through life following her own path and coaxing people left and right, while he cannot say or do anything without the sole control over his mother's life being lost. Why would a man like Gabriel Agreste who claims to love his wife so much do such a vile thing? The worst thing is that he managed to sustain him legally and catch him with the last woman in the world he would have thought of marrying.

He must remain married to Lila as long as his mother remains in a coma or the hospital will be forced to kill her. Adrien has no other words for what would happen if he divorces her, but it's so sad to be married to a woman he doesn't love and he's the only one who must fulfill the damn contract, because if they discover an infidelity is the same as divorcing.

His mother deserved more, if she had followed that childhood love instead of his father, she woulded be happy...

Chloe and Marinette have been looking for ways to free him from torture, even Felix decided to help in order to free him from his sad fate. At least, it stopped being Chat Noir or that could have played against him, with how easy Lila manipulates people. He get migraines just from imagining making a mistake.

"Adrien, I'm going out to eat with Alya." Lila appears in his field of vision in her usual expensive way, always looking like he's attending a fashion event (which means expense and that translates directly to him working as a slave in different contracts. She makes her money, sure, but her expenses exceed those gains.) She barely looks at him as she checks her phone, probably talking to Alya or one of her lovers, not that he really cares.

"Sure, say hi on my behalf." She turns to leave, but Adrien stops her. "Remember that today we will have dinner with Michel Laforet for next month's charity event. "

"I wouldn't forget it."

They say goodbye barely looking at each other. Adrien is busy reviewing the job proposals, Marinette sent him a couple of locations to investigate a few weeks ago, due to a group of drug traffickers who settled in Paris and need to know their links, he of course must follow their leads and possible connections to find a way to disrupt it. He's now free to continue his work, especially since the MT is busy dealing with Akuma.

He was very surprised when he saw his first Akuma in seven years, he is also quite fearful of what this new villain intends. The way he has attacked, his champions are very different and, consistent with his cousin, he seems to be trying to measure the heroes. For that reason, he approves of Marinette's approach of keeping Luka in a safe place so that no one notices the use of the second chance, that way the villain will never know if his plans could have been altered in any way.

Wait this time it doesn't last for several years.

Now if he could understand why they want him to model in a banana suit for a soup ad, maybe he could consider it.

-----

The Anibiotic: How are bananas and soup related?

Wild goat: If it's another one of your jokes, I swear by Satan that I'll burn your house down

Silent Hill: I approve the plan

Plasticine: Your jokes are really bad, bro

Dragon Tamer: I think this is a serious question

The Antibiotic: It's a modeling proposal

Needle: They offer you the weirdest roles

Plasticine: Like the sardines!

Three balls: that was good

Not in hell: Maybe it's a way to get attention by putting two discordant elements together

Not in hell: You guys are that strange

Almost pretty: Pleasant

Wild goat: We are great, you know, there is no other creation as stylish as us

Not in hell: I would keep my comments, but I completely disagree

Dragon Tamer: If you start a discussion about this, I'm going to ban you from the chat

Wild goat: Tyranny! I will arm a revolution

Plasticine: Maybe it's banana soup. You don't understand art!

Three balls: Neither do you

Perfect Crime: You’re a disappointment

------

John Constantine was not planning to spend his morning avoiding being stabbed by a ten-year-old boy, nor avoiding being eaten by two German shepherds. But there he's, avoiding the edge of a Swiss knife as he tries to shake off two huge dogs without hurting them, because he's sure the boy's murderous intentions would triple if he hears a single screech from one of his pets.

He may not have met Damian in person, but he know enough about him from the chats and from what Marinette shared with him.

"Look, kid, stop, okay? Damn, I haven't drink enough for this... "

"Why?"

"I don't read minds, kido, you'll have to explain yourself." Damian frowns and presses the knife against the blonde's neck, if it wasn't for the dogs he couldn't have him subdued. The Kwami hesitate about what to do, they are talking... only in a very violent way.

"Why are you do with my mother?"

"Did they give you the talk yet? Because it would be very uncomfortable for you to receive it from me. ”John looks at the boy, who doesn't flinch at anything and seems ready to stab him. It would be better to collaborate, he doesn't want to harm the child, he can only imagine the adorable woman's anger if her son is hurt in some interaction between them. "Sure... Sexual attraction, simple like that. I don't pretend to be your father or to be a stable romantic couple, she deserves something much better than me. I'm just content to enjoy our time together, happy?

"Don't you want to be my father?"

"No, I'm the worst candidate for that position. What made you think that, kid? "Now it's his turn to frown. Much love can be had (he will not deny it), but both are aware that they would be the ruin of the other, he doesn't want to condemn her to a life as dark as his and expose her to all the demons that follow him, she truly deserves something better than misery fllow him.

He also knows that, despite all his complaints, Plagg has told him that he's its true owner and that his soul is balanced with that of Marinette, that's why they gravitate around each other and could trust as if they were born together. That doesn't mean they are romantically good to each other. Sexually? Magical, but the romance in their lives has been tragic and putting that together, well, it could be a problem for everyone.

"You've been with her for four years."

"We are mainly friends, confidants. Do we have sex? Yes, do we want to get married and have more children? No... We would just be miserable. Those stories that soulmates are happy together? Son, these are lies, romantic shit from movies and junk books.

Damian recoils, shocked by the information, all of it. Her mother had hinted at a casual relationship, but the look in her eyes told him otherwise. Soulmates? That doesn't exist, but the Kwami didn't exist for him either until his mother introduced them to him. Wretched? He need to analyze what he have learned.

"Why do you say that?"

"Experience, son. Do you want to sit down or go for a walk? The second seems to excite your friends more."

Damian snaps his fingers and the hounds stand beside him, freeing Constantine. Her kind gaze is very dark, long-suffering and ironic.

Just when he's about to answer, the alarm on his phone goes off and he knows what it means.

Akuma attack.

"Go away, I won't say anything."

Damian nods and Kaalki opens the portal, just look at the man's tired posture for a moment before breaking through the portal back to the MT. Agatha and Edgar just behind, have a job to do.

-------

Chloe B. @BourgeoisQueen

What a wonderful day for an Akuma attack. Somebody take the stick out of the villain's ass because the beast is horrible, nor Hawkmoth dared so much

Dick Grayson @TheFlyingGrayson

WHAT HAPPENS WITH PARIS? IS IT A VIOLET DOLPHIN WITH BAT WINGS?

The Last Hours @Toogoodtodie

@TheFlyingGrayson Paris would appreciate if you blocked any information on the city from external sources in the country, if you do not know how, you can contact the @MaxKan_Tech offices to receive information

Dick Grayson @TheFlyingGrayson

@Toogoodtodie ok?

Max K. @MaxKan_Tech

@TheFlyingGrayson @Toogoodtodie Subtle, Anthony. Please, Mr. Grayson, contact my office and we'll make your stay in Paris much more pleasant. You can also contact the prosecution to find out the legal procedures for staying in Paris and the security regarding the Akuma

Marc @MarcAC_twt

Does our villain use drugs?

[wellntruly]

THE NEW POPE - 1x02

This show makes me feel like I’m made of champagne and glass and on fire.

So THIS episode sends the gang off to a giant haunted estate in dreary old England, haunted by GHOST LENNY, and I SCREAM. Every scene is even more ~Tableaus~ than usual, and then suddenly bam! John Malkovich is there wearing violet and a smoky eye and he is Sad and Loungey like an artfully depressed fop who speaks in riddles and plays a harp and is definitely addicted to some sort of drug in this golden box yes? Oh we ready for this!!

Mostly though: G u t i e r r e z ! !  You are one of the lights of my Soul !

New Pope Live-Bloggin’ No. 2

[squeak laughing] Fuck I’m losing it we’ve already murdered a pope with a thumbs up emoji and Silvio Orlando is playing his own twin and this is only the previously on, fuck fuck

Hahaha Sofia what are you doing!

LOL that

Oh so this is just gonna be the new opener! How NEAT it’s the same song the same set but now filmed from different angles

The dancing sexy nun with the sexy glasses is the best part by the way

There is an absolute fucking lot of surreal shit going on in this English estate right now and I’m going out of my mind

Do I know the leader of the performance artists, in the red hoodie? was she part of the group that had all the women stand up out of the bushes last season with something painted on their bellies?

Every day Sorrentino comes up with something new! I can’t even show you what it is because I’m quite certain I’ll be flagged, but I am talking about the shot where Sofia’s husband is nude.

Sofia: “You only have one project in life, Thomas. [cheesy whispering] To give me pleasure.” Thomas: [grins]

This headline I’m weeping. Haha oh you guys are in such trouble!

Our away team is Voiello, Aguirre, Sofia, Assente, and Gutierrez. I’m delighted, what can go wrong.

Javier Cámara’s gentle little suspicious newspaper lower here—perfect, exquisite

Aguirre: “Are you nervous?” Voiello: “I’m always nervous. I’m not a bland man, you know.”

Gayest Cardinal Assente just said that he and Sir Brannox once spent long afternoons in “study” together and the entire train car basically nodded like welp

“We have forgotten, about Pius XIII,” as he’s starting to cry oh Gutierrez! God his relationship with Lenny is so! Aaah!

The HATS, what sort of CRIME CAPER

TABLEAU

Butler: “As his Eminence always says, we are all expected sooner or later. [tiny flickering smile]” BAHahaha

Aguirre: “Are there ghosts here?” Smiling maid holding three dogs on a leash: “Yes.”

Oh you all are gonna have FUN HERE, in the MYSTERY CASTLE

Voiello adorably bundling this blanket over his head like an old Russian woman, and then seeing shining beautiful creepy Lenny light a match and throw it into the fireplace with an enigmatic smile as it finally bursts into flames. Assente, as if on an unheard cue, walking swiftly past a screen and throwing off his top to emerge shirtless (and actually quite fit) on the other side---only to be faintly startled by a taxidermy fox. Truly if I knew how to gif I would gif every moment of this Agatha Christie episode which I love.

I let out the most delicate gasp, my hand flew to my mouth! Another of these gorgeous recomposed Bach suites sweeping up the pieces of my heart breaking open at Gutierrez’s face…! Javier

Assente, hopeful and hesitant and open: “I felt, lonely. All of a sudden.”

Oh my goddd!

Gutierrez, with this tremulous loving urgent restraint: “But if I let you come in now, we’ll feel even more lonely, later.”

AND GOD SAID: LET GUTIERREZ HAVE A LOVE STORY, WHERE THEY WILL NEVER TOUCH AND I SAID: THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT 🙏🙏🙏

I could not have dreamd to have even asked for something as perfect for me as this devel’!!!!

I spoke too soon for now Lenny Is Here, is sitting on Gutierrez’s bed next to him and telling him he made the right choice because pleasure leads to pain, and I cannae handle it !! !!!! !

One of my most adored things about this show is that they always let me have all realities at once, and so the Lenny that each of them are seeing can be a specific Lenny they have each called up, their own ghost of Pope Pius depending on what they need, and also simultaneously that Lenny, an actual saint who has performed actual miracles, is coma-tripping up here with his own Lenny agency to interact with them as he thinks they need. I want both things, and I will take them.

That they can hear Sir John playing an eerie delicate harp in the middle of the night, oh incredibly good

Y’know what I kinda love Sofia flirtily telling her husband on her cell that “These noblemen are looking at me” as she eyes all the portraits in her room, then having quite literal phone sex with him. It’s saucy it’s fun! Someone’s gotta luxuriate in their own pleasure in this cold mournful palace, and Sofia’s a perfect person to do it, because as Voiello described her last episode: she is someone who will never feel uncomfortable.

And! Of course! LENNY’S GONNA SHOW UP, scooping his hand under her bare arched back and gently supporting her as she turns onto her side, and this too is really interesting to me??? It feels kind of akin to him praying so hard outside Esther’s open window that she get pregnant this time. I don’t know I just love the hot young pope steadfastedly wanting nothing to do with having sex with anyone himself but kinkily supporting married women getting it on with their husbands? It’s weird and I love it.

I’m screaming, what is up with Malkovich leading his way across the room with his hovering hand, not looking?? Everything in this show is bananas and brilliant and beautiful and bananas! And his Astral Lenny gently moving the box away from his blindly reaching fingers?! Freckle.gif What does it all mean!!! 

Anyway all I know is that I miss Lenny so much and I LOVE missing Lenny, because it is SO WILD that watching this season every time I see this asshole I’m just like, “that’s the real pope though,” like very confidently, very warmed by him. And part of my brain is like Lenny?? Really???? L e n n y ? While the other part’s just like yeah. Yeah? None of these fuckers can come close. LENNY BELARDO is THE POPE. And basically I can’t believe I’m also one of the idolatrous faithful, great job show.

Okay what the fuck happened with John’s brother! It’s him that’s cut out of the pictures surely?

Oh he died at 25 that’s what happened. Although why would you cut him out of the photos? ...Unless it’s John, ohhh yeah maybe they cut out John and now they hate that he’s here taking care of them.

It’s wild actually that Sir John Brannox is actual aristocracy. His parents are a duke and duchess. Do you call him Cardinal Sir John Brannox? Sir Cardinal Brannox?

LOUNGING

WHAT are we supposed to think about all this EYE MAKEUP!

Brannox has interrupted Voiello twice already. He is still lounging.

Oho, yeah it IS you cut out of the photos isn’t it!

“That joke is terribly funny, even though I did not laugh.” OKAY A) HOOTLING, B) SHIT THAT’S A NEW POPE RIGHT THERE, he’s arbitrating what is and isn’t a good joke just like Lenny used to!!! This show and jokes & power

Alright I’m still working on getting a read on Sir John but so far he certainly seems insane enough for the role

I’ll never get over the tableaus

Gutierrez: “Last night in my room, I felt a clear presence of Pius XIII next to me.”

“yeah same but we weren’t gonna SAY ANYTHING, BERNARDO”

Wow so what do we think is in that filigree box that he uses to fall sleep. Hard drugs, really hard?

Three times Brannox has interrupted Voiello. We’re keeping track.

Aw look at you, asking Gutierrez a question! I don’t know how Gutierrez turned into The Only Woman In the Room Full Of Men Talking, but John sure noticed.

Oh he really is the only woman in the room, now just quietly shaking his head at their tactics! My DARLING, my LOVE.

“They are pretending to be unaware of the enormous spiritual weight the situation requires. To be pope, Eminence, is a martyrdom. And after Pius XIII, it’s a burden. And after Francis II, it’s…suspect.” Gutierrez you nailed, you nailed it! You just won the night! It’s all true, and it was ATTRACTIVE to Brannox, because he’s obsessed with his own suffering! And you don’t even know that you succeeded! Because you weren’t trying to manipulate him, you were just speaking from your heart! 

I actually don’t know if any of Sir John’s metaphors stand up to even the lightest analysis and I do think it’s telling that I haven’t felt the desire to transcribe any of them, but I’m still captivated because of his languorous confident delivery. He speaks like the Alex Guarnaschelli of cardinals.

Brannox: “It is essential to distinguish between what is physiological and what is pathological in the body of the Church. Voiello to the table: “There. His Eminence has just explained to you the basic principle of the Middle Way.” [whispering] ...what

Well I trust they’ll explain what Sofia’s husband is up to at some point

Oh my god have his parents left Adam’s room unchanged or something

Adam was a PUNK? a 1980s London Punk???

Or was BRANNOX WAS THE PUNK. The eye makeup a holdover!!!

“soporific charm” wow got it in one that’s John Brannox all over

Oh he’s already wearing all white, he’s in don’t let him fool you

Brannox right now: What is love? Baby don’t hurt me

Yeah, Yeah, ask Gutierrez to speak of love, yeah! I am Ready

Gutierrez: “Love is an abstract concept, but a necessary one. Like happiness, like intelligence. Like God. When I was young, a man took advantage of me. And as he did so, he would say, God does not exist. And I would answer back, in God’s place: even if he doesn’t exist, we desperately need to believe he’s there.” I have tears in my eyes, he is perfect. Never let him become Pope.

Oh my GOD, these quick-cut scenes! fuck I love art

And the video from the unnamed terrorist playing on a rolling substitute teacher TV in the middle of an empty marble hall in the Vatican, I mean god Though! Paolo I’m trusting you on this, I’m trusting you do not fucking let me down with whatever this storyline is going to be, I trust you!!

I mean now Paolo’s ending this episode with the papal assassin and his girlfriend having a surreal little dance scene in an empty fast food restaurant, truly what is this but inspiring my utter confidence in him

- - - - -

The New Pope: First Episode

The Young Pope: Masterpost

Pope Notes (new, and all)