#i do like talking to people. i just get the feeling very few people want that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oikarma · 2 days ago

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look me in the eye | pt.2

pairing: max verstappen x rbr!engineer!reader

summary: the rb21 is unfixable but that's definitely not the only reason max verstappen wants you around.

a/n: "who cares what they think" bf and overthinker gf are my roman empire

part one / part two

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Max doesn't give you much of a choice.

One minute, you're wrapping up post-race debriefs with your teammates, pretending that you're not reeling from his reaction to your possible departure. They're very polite and do not pry into the conversation they all obviously heard. The next, he's standing by the garage exit, jacket in hand, waiting.

"Dinner," he says. It’s not a request.

You hesitate, glancing around. "I mean, I don't think-"

"I need to talk to you." His words are softer but still determined. "Properly. Not in the garage. Not with twenty people listening."

Your stomach twists. You should say no. You should.

Instead, you find yourself sitting across from him in a dimly lit restaurant, the scent of freshly baked bread and seared steak filling the air. It's nothing fancy. Fancy means attention. It's quiet, tucked away, the kind of place he probably picked because he assumed no one would bother him here.

But Max Verstappen is not someone who goes unnoticed.

Right now he's focused, barely glancing at the menu. It feels more like a business arrangement than a catch-up. That's how it's meant to be. Max is, in the hierarchy pyramid, somewhere a few diagonal triangles above you.

"Tell me what you need," he says as his fingers tap restlessly against the table. "More support? More control over the car setup? I'll talk to Christian."

You sigh, setting your menu down. "Max, it's not just about that. It's-"

A hushed voice at a nearby table. A phone camera clicks and, judging by the kerfuffle that follows, the person who pressed the button didn't expect it to be so loud.

Your stomach drops. Max's gaze flickers over your shoulder, jaw tightening as realization dawns.

"Shit," he mutters.

You don't turn around. You don't need to. The whispers are getting louder, the occasional giggle or gasp confirming what you already know-someone recognized him. And worse? They recognized you.

Your chest tightens. This is exactly what you didn't want. Attention. Speculation. The internet dissecting every detail of why Red Bull's star driver is having dinner with one of the team's engineers. Especially after that interview. Two things that should not be happening in quick succession.

Max leans forward and his voice is low. "Hey."

You shake your head, gripping your napkin like it's a lifeline. "I need to go."

"If you leave now, it’ll be worse."

You know he's right. Storming out will just make it look more suspicious. But that doesn’t stop the anxiety creeping up your spine.

Max studies you for a moment before making a decision. He leans back, body language shifting, a small smirk curling at the corner of his lips. Then, loud enough for the nearby table to hear-

"You're overthinking. Just enjoy your food."

It's so casual, so normal, that for a split second, it throws you off. And judging by the way the whispers fade just a little, it throws everyone else off too.

Max is playing it cool. Acting like this is nothing, just a casual dinner, nothing worth speculating over.

You swallow hard, forcing yourself to match his energy. You pick up your menu again, even though you're too tense to focus on the words. "Fine," you sigh. "But if this ends up all over Twitter, I'm blaming you."

His grin deepens. "I'll take full responsibility."

Under the table, where no one can see, his fingers graze against yours. It's only for a second. It's probably an accident, you tell yourself.

You look into his eyes and you know it means so much more than just that.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You wake up to chaos.

Your phone won't stop buzzing. The messages, missed calls, and notifications stacking up faster than you can process. At first, you think it's just another race week frenzy. Then you open Twitter.

Max Verstappen on a dinner date with Red Bull engineer. Garage romance?

Attached is the photo. A little grainy, taken from the next table over, but unmistakably you and Max. He's leaning in, smirking, looking far too comfortable across from you. You're gripping your menu like you were ready to bolt.

There are too comments to keep track of.

user1 she's been in the garage w him all season user2 Bro is dating his own engineer to fix the car 💀💀💀 user3 i fear they look GOOD together user4 is she the one he slipped up about in the interview??

You barely register the rest before Christian Horner is calling you. You pick up immediately instead of letting him go to voicemail. This is bad.

"Do you know what's happening online?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "I just saw it."

He breathes loudly-you can hear it over the phone. "Look, we don't comment on personal lives, but if anyone asks, we stick to the story. It was a casual team dinner, nothing more. Max's team is probably already handling it."

Max.

As if on cue, another message flashes across your screen.

Unknown It's Max

Unknown Don't look at twitter

Too late.

By the time you get to the paddock, the damage is done. Journalists are already circling, cameras flashing whenever you so much as breathe near Max's side of the garage. You stick next to Liam's car. You don't know what you're doing there, but he kind of does and pretends to talk with you about something he doesn't understand either. Good lad.

You keep your head down, pretending not to notice the murmurs. When you step into the engineering office, Max is already waiting.

He's scrolling through his phone. You can't see anything behind those startling blue-green eyes of his. You still can't when he looks up. "They're making a big deal out of nothing."

You exhale. "I'm trending on Twitter."

He shrugs, completely unfazed. "And?"

You blink. "And? Do you know what people are saying? That I'm-” You lower your voice. “That I'm sleeping with you for my job. That you’re-”

"Using you to fix the car?" His lips press together. Now his eyes darken, the sky before the storm. "Bullshit. Do they not know how engineers work? They fix the car anyway."

You shake your head. "It doesn't matter if it's bullshit. It's out there."

Max crosses his arms. "So?"

"So?" you echo, incredulous. "I don't want this. I don't want my name attached to you like I'm some stupid tabloid headline!"

He seems to read you. "Do you think I wanted it either? I just wanted dinner. I wanted to talk to you, convince you not to leave. Not...this."

Your anger deflates. You can't be mad at him. People are people.

Max pushes off the desk and steps closer. "Tell you what. If you want, I'll shut it down. Tell them all it's nothing, that it was just a stupid meal. That you mean nothing to me."

The words sting even though you know he doesn’t mean them.

You swallow hard. "Would you?"

His jaw tightens. "If that’s what you want."

You should say yes. You should. But he's the one waiting for you to make a choice-the choice-and you're frozen.

"I don't know," you whisper.

Is that relief you see on his face?

"Then we don't say anything."

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The orange army has risen, and it's not McLaren's. The checkered flag waves, and above the screaming engines and the crackling of team radios, one thing is clear: Max Verstappen has won again.

Against the odds, against the struggles, against a car that has fought him all season, he has done what Max Verstappen does best.

He has won.

The Red Bull garage erupts. Engineers shout, mechanics throw their arms around each other, and the pit wall slams their hands down in victory. You barely register the chaos because your eyes are glued to the screens, watching as Max slows down on his cool-down lap, his voice breaking through the radio.

"YES, LET'S GO!" His laugh is breathless. "That was so, so good. Thank you, guys. Thank you."

You exhale. He did it. You don't even recognize the warm feeling going through you because suddenly, he's there.

Before you can even process it, Max is sprinting toward the garage, helmet ripped off, his fireproofs half-unzipped and clinging to his sweat-drenched skin. There's no hesitation, no second-guessing-shouldn't he be out there?-as he skids next to you.

Your heart lurches.

You don't even have time to move before he reaches you, before his hands find your waist and he pulls you in.

"Max-" Your protest dies in your throat because holy shit he's so close. His breath is warm against your skin, adrenaline pouring off him in waves.

"You," he pants, eyes wild and utterly alive. "You made that happen."

You shake your head, flustered beyond belief. "Max, you-"

But he cuts you off, hands tightening like he's afraid you'll slip away. "No. You fought for this car. You never stopped." He swallows, chest rising and falling. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

You feel every nerve in your body short-circuiting.

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Just static.

Max searches your face. He looks at you as he does his father, after a race is over. Like this win doesn't mean as much if you aren't part of it. There is one person in the world he cares about making happy...might there be a second?

You’re completely, utterly speechless.

"Lost for words?" he teases.

You shove at his chest, but your laughter betrays you. "Shut up, Verstappen."

You untangle yourself from his grasp and motion for him to greet some other of the team members. The media must be having a field day. And after the entire PR talk, too.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The celebrations are still in full swing when Max is pulled into an interview. The champagne drips from his hair as a permanent grin is stretched across his face. He's still breathless, still buzzing, still high off the win.

The reporter from Sky Sports barely has to ask the first question before Max is already talking.

"Max, that was an incredible drive. How does it feel to take this victory after the struggles you’ve had with the car?"

Max laughs easily. "Yeah, it wasn't easy. The car still isn't perfect, but today, it worked. And that's not just me, that's the team, that's the people who keep pushing-"

His words cut off for a second, his mind catching up to his own excitement. His tongue is loose, his filter nonexistent.

And then-

"-that's her."

The interviewer blinks. "Who?"

Max doesn't hesitate. "My engineer."

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Your stomach drops as you watch from the back of the garage, eyes wide as the cameras zoom in on him. He's still grinning, still glowing, and either he doesn't realize what he just said or he does not care.

"She-" he stops himself, shaking his head like he can't find the right words. "She works harder than anyone. Every problem with this car, she's been on it. I mean, I was nowhere at the start of the season, and now, we're here. If anyone deserves credit, it's her."

The reporter raises an eyebrow. "That's very high praise. Would you say she's been a crucial part of your season?"

Max tips his head back in his laughter, and it's so obvious now, the way he's still running on instinct, how he's still in the moment.

"She's been-" He stops, a flicker of hesitation crossing his face. And then, softer-too soft for someone who's just talking about an engineer-he finishes:

"She's everything."

The interviewer's eyes widen slightly, and there’s a second-just a second-where you see the exact moment he realizes what he just let slip. Max's lips press together, like maybe if he stops talking now, the words will somehow erase themselves. But the damage is already done.

Your heart slams against your ribs.

Max turns his head like he can see you in the garage. He's searching, looking for you.

You panic. You run.

But the world has already heard him. You're not just another engineer.

You're Max Verstappen's everything.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The second you step back into the Red Bull garage, cheeks flushed from your bathroom pacing and breakdown, you know you're screwed.

The looks. The whispers. The way people pretend not to be staring but are absolutely staring. Because, of course, everyone saw the interview.

The moment Max Verstappen, three-time world champion, winner of the race, decided to open his mouth and say-

"She's everything."

You could kill him.

Scratch that. You will kill him.

Your heart is still hammering from the moment you heard it, from the way he looked for you afterward, like he wasn't even the slightest bit embarrassed about saying something that made it sound like-like-you don't even know what it sounded like, but it was definitely not normal driver-engineer talk.

And now, here you are, trying to avoid eye contact with every single person in the garage while searching for the idiot responsible.

It doesn't take long.

Max, being Max, doesn't bother hiding. He's standing by the monitors, still in his fireproofs, arms crossed over his chest, looking completely unbothered. He should be celebrating. Why is he not out celebrating?

He's still waiting for you.

The moment he sees you, his expression shifts. Something smug, something amused, something that makes you want to strangle him.

You grab his arm and yank him into the nearest private space you can find.

"Max," you hiss, barely able to contain yourself. "What the hell was that?"

His brows furrow. "What?"

"What?" you repeat. "You-on live television-you called me everything."

Max blinks, looking so utterly relaxed that you want to shake him. "Yeah."

You stare at him, waiting for him to realize the problem, to acknowledge that he just threw you to the media wolves with zero warning.

Nothing. Just calm, slightly confused Max Verstappen.

"You do realize what that sounded like, right?" You press, feeling your face heat up. "Everyone's losing their minds. Twitter is exploding. Horner gave me a look. Do you know how scary it is when Christian Horner gives you a look?"

Max’s lips twitch. He's fighting a smirk and he's not winning. "I mean… was I wrong?"

"What?"

He tilts his head, like he's considering his words. "You are everything. To this team. To the car. To-" He stops himself, but it’s already too late.

He knows exactly what he said.

"Max-"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

You can't, because he isn't. Maybe you've known it all along. Maybe this is why you can't leave the stupid team, even though it's causing hair loss and severe lack of sleep.

So you don't. Instead, you grab him by the collar and pull him down. Max lets out the softest, most relieved exhale before he crashes into you.

It's not a soft kiss. It's not careful, or hesitant, or anything close to restrained. It's desperate. It's months of tension snapping all at once.

You make a soft noise-half surprise, half something else entirely-and that's all it takes.

Max groans, deep and low, like he's wanted this for as long as you have, and suddenly it's worse, because now he's tilting his head, deepening the kiss, pressing you back until you hit the nearest surface.

You don't even know where you are anymore. A storage closet? A backroom? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is him. The way he tastes like champagne and adrenaline, the way he kisses like he races. All-consuming and with only one thing on his mind.

You should stop. You know you should stop. The entire garage is just outside. Someone will notice. Someone will hear.

You thread your fingers into his hair, tugging just slightly, and Max shudders.

"Fuck," he mutters against your lips, utterly wrecked. His eyelids flutter, long lashes too. Max runs a finger down to your chin, forcing you to look at him. "You're overthinking again."

He's completely right. But you don't stop then. You relax and just let Max Verstappen take over every single thought in your mind.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

a/n: i just need a man who's bad at emotions but also so good at them

#formula one #max verstappen x reader #formula one x reader #f1 x you #f1 #max verstappen #x reader #oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩

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aringofsalt · 3 days ago

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we're going down, but not today

BUCKTOMMY | G | 824 WORDS | AO3 spec fic for the upcoming two-parter! entirely based on the bts photos. i got to thinking about potential bathena parallels and this happened 💛

The helicopter is so still in the air it looks like it's floating, like the entire world is just as frozen as Buck feels.

"Evan," Tommy's voice crackles softly over the radio. "Evan, I need you to know—"

"No way," Buck interrupts. "You're not doing this to me, Tommy."

He has a brief flash back to September, to the way they'd all told the story of Athena's landing over and over. Of how Bobby had been so, so sure of Athena.

"You tell me in person, okay?" He echoes Bobby's words. "You land that thing, you get the hell out of there, you come back to me, you hear me? You come back and you—you tell me in person." His voice wavers, cracks a little in front of Athena and God and everybody who's listening in on this channel—he doesn't even want to think about how many people are listening in on this goddamn channel—but his eyes never leave the chopper. "You're going to tell me, and I'm going to tell you. Okay?"

There's silence for a moment. Then,

"Copy that, Firefighter Buckley. See you on the other side." Click.

"Buck, I need the radio," Athena says softly. She takes the radio from him with one hand, wraps the other around his bicep and squeezes briefly. Distantly, he can hear her talking, coordinating with Tommy in the air. He doesn't understand a word of it; it all sounds like it's coming through water, all distorted and muffled. His heart is in his throat as the helicopter gets closer, as they're ushered backwards for the bomb squad to get through.

It's a tense few minutes, made worse by the fact that he can see Tommy now, through the windshield. He knows flying isn't easy, but Tommy always made it look easy; now the cracks are showing. But they all do their jobs, and finally, finally, the chopper is on the ground. The minutes it takes for the engine to stop and the blades to stop turning are the longest he's ever felt. Tommy very carefully doesn't look at him the whole time, entirely focused on his job.

It's so fucking hot, now that the danger is past.

By the time Tommy steps out of the cockpit, Buck feels like he's going to vibrate out of his skin. He's forcing himself to stay in place, ignoring Athena's amused smirk, but the second Tommy looks his way, he's done for.

He's halfway across the roof before he's even processed that his feet are moving, and Tommy's just as eager, stepping right around the guy he's been debriefing with. They crash together, wrapping around each other without a care in the world for all the people around them. Buck feels like he could crawl right into Tommy's rib cage and he still wouldn't be close enough. All he can do is cling tighter, bury his nose into Tommy's neck and dig his fingers into the coarse fabric of his flight suit and finally let the tears fall.

He doesn't know how long they stand there, just that by the time they break apart—eyes red and shoulders suspiciously damp—their corner of the roof is pretty much empty. There's some distant murmurs, people milling around the helicopter, but nobody is nearby to watch them press their foreheads together and breathe each other in.

"You said tell me in person," Tommy murmurs into the space between them.

"Well, here we are," Buck murmurs back. "Whatcha got for me, Kinard?"

"Dork," Tommy says fondly, then his face grows serious. "You don't know what you do to me, Evan. I'm not exactly a stranger to the idea of death—you know what that's like, this job. But this time...all I could think about was all the things I never got to tell you. All the time I wasted."

"We wasted," Buck breaks in, because he's not about to let Tommy take all the blame for the time they spent apart. "But that doesn't matter."

"No, it doesn't," Tommy agrees. "I'm...I'm done running from you, Evan. I love you—it scares me, honestly, how much. But the idea of being without you..." He takes a deep breath. "That scares me more. I'm so sorry."

"I am too," Buck laughs wetly, fighting down a sob. "God. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I'm never letting you out of my sight again, I hope you realize."

"Deal."

Buck looks up, and Tommy takes his breath away, as always. He's glowing golden in the setting sun, eyes wide, looking at Buck with that same look of fond amazement he always does, like he can't quite believe this is real.

He's missed this. Missed him. And he's waited weeks; he's not waiting another minute. He slides a hand around Tommy's neck, the other around his waist, and tugs him in, and it feels like home.

#911 #911 abc #bucktommy #911 fic #bucktommy fic #911 speculation #911 spoilers #my fic #evan buckley #tommy kinard

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sports-on-sundays · 2 days ago

Note

Hello hello, I am back with another request! It's with Oscar again but friends to lovers. Hear me out, the most cliche thing ever. Oscar loves her, she loves him but both too dense to realise it. They are out and about and another dude corners her and tries to make out with her, Oscar saves the day (make him protective and violent pls, make him punch the guy (side note: I would pay money to see Oscar actually punch someone, don't ask me why idk🙈)). So then he comforts her, takes her home and she asks him to stay. I will leave the rest of the convo to you🤗. Let there be a first kiss and cuddle I beg I am the biggest sucker for those bcs Oscar seems like the best guy to have your firsts with.

Holy hell that's a long ass request haha. Thank you for reading all that🤣 have fun with it and feel free to change things up a little bit if you want to!

be / OP81

Summary: Oscar x female!best childhood friend!Australian!reader - You and Oscar are finally forced to realize your feelings for each other.

Warnings: panicking, someone forcing himself onto another person, blood, crying, i did change up the request a little bit 🤏, feeling sick

Requested: Yes! And don't worry about the long request, I really liked it, and thanks so much for requesting! Long requests are better sometimes anyway.

Author's Note: Guys I'm starting to think I seriously need my very own Oscar Piastri....

"It wasn't even that funny-"

"It wasn't even that funny!"

Both you and Oscar look up to who it was mockingly imitating Oscar's friendly teasing, and your eyes set themselves upon Lando Norris, smirking obnoxiously.

"What's your problem?" you demand, crossing your arms, most of the laughter from Oscar's joke that he made fives minutes ago (yes, you were still laughing your head off at it) gone.

"What do you mean? I'm just kidding. It's just funny how your boyfriend can make the most dumb joke, and send you both into a ten minute laughing fit-"

"Boyfriend?" you and Oscar seem to ask incredulously in sink.

The smile falls off of Lando's face this time, and is replaced by a look of surprise and confusion. "Waaaait... So you're trying to tell me you guys aren't dating?"

Oscar blinks a few times in confusion. "Y/n and I are just friends. We always have been."

"Yeah," you add quickly, nodding. "I don't know why everyone thinks differently."

Lando's eyebrows raise in amusement. "Maybe because you guys act like you're mad in love...? Like, all the time? Or maybe the fact that you come to every single one of our races? Or maybe it's the way you look at each other with heart eyes, like the other one is the only one in the room? I mean, I don't know. It could be the way you're always giggling and talking and yapping to each other... But, oh, what do I and everybody else know?"

"Good question," Oscar deadpans. "What do you know?"

Lando shrugs, rollings his eyes, and struts away. As soon as he's gone, Oscar turns back to you with a little shrug and says, "Sorry about that. I guess nobody gets that two people can love each other as friends without feeling romantic feelings..."

You nod, shrugging. It makes sense to you, simply because that's how it's always been with you and Oscar, forever. The two of you practically slept in the same crib (not literally!). You always just assumed he's like a brother or something, and it doesn't pay to consider anything else. So you haven't. Too risky, and besides- that's not worth it to waste your time thinking about. You like things just the way they are, no need to change them.

"-Y/n?"

"Hm?!" you look up, snapping out of your pondering.

Oscar smiles at you, his brown eyes soft, like they always are when he looks at you. You smile back, eyes equally as warm as he says, "Did you hear me?" in amusement.

You chuckle, "No, sorry."

He nods, giving your shoulder a little pat as he stands up. "I've got to go now get ready for the race. First of the season. Wish me luck!"

"Luck isn't needed," you say with a little grin. "You've got enough skill alone to win it."

He grins. "I guess. But luck never hurts, does it?"

"Not at all." You stand up with him and give him a quick half-hug, saying gentler, "Drive safe, and bring it home. I'll be cheering you on."

"Like always?"

"Like always."

"Hey, Y/n?"

You look up from your phone, shutting it off. You're sitting alone, long after the 2025 season opening race, the Australian Grand Prix, has ended. You haven't seen Oscar since the race ended, and have just been sitting around, not wanting to go home until you have a chance to talk with him. And there he is, standing there, back in his regular clothes: a black sweatshirt, sweatpants, and sneakers, looking thoroughly sleepy.

You immediately stand up, smiling, saying simply, "It was a great drive."

"Well, I-"

"Hush. You scored points after what happened, and that's enough, for goodness' sake."

He smiles softly, and though his eyes say a lot more, he just nods and says simply, "Yeah, yeah, you're right. As always."

You nod promptly and say teasingly, "I know!"

He just rolls his eyes and says, already in a better mood just by talking to you, "Mum wanted you over tonight for dinner."

You grin, "She did, did she?"

"You know she always does, whenever I'm around, want me to bring you over. She adores you."

"She's the sweetest," you chuckle. "Well, I wouldn't mind one of your mum's home cooked meals."

Oscar nods, grabbing his coat, and saying, "I agree; that would hit the spot right now. C'mon."

You two make it to the car and get in, before you start heading to Oscar's mother's home. The car ride is mostly silent, but neither of you really mind. It's a comfortable, good kind of silence.

Towards the end of it, though, you ask simply, "So, that's the end of the first race week of the season. How're you feeling?"

Oscar shrugs, thinking for a few moments, before saying, "Hmm... I guess I'd have to say tired, but very hopeful."

You smile. "Good. You just need your beauty rest, huh?"

He glances at you with a cute little smile. "Right."

Dinner is nice. Warm, and reminds you of home, and your childhood, and everything good. And it's perfect for a rainy day like today.

Once he's finished eating, though, Oscar stands up, stretching, from the table, and says, "Well, I should be off to bed..."

"Oh, Oscar, you will give poor Y/n a ride home won't you?" Oscar's mother asks.

He looks over at you with a little smile and nods, saying, "Oh, right, of course."

You walk to the door together, but before Oscar opens the front door to leave, you gently grab his arm and say simply, "Osc."

He looks up from unlocking the door, meeting your eyes. "Hm?" he asks gently.

"You don't need to drive me home. I could get a cab or take the bus or whatever. It's all good. You've had a crazy week, as it is, much crazier than mine-"

"I mean, I was thinking maybe it'd be fine if I didn't drive you home, too, but you don't have to get a cab. I'm sure if I asked, my mum would be fine with you just staying the night or something."

You blink in surprise, but smile at the suggestion. "Oh. Well, I'd hate to bud in-"

He smiles. "You're family, Y/n. Don't worry." He takes your hand, tugging you back towards the dining room, calling, "Mum! Would it be fine if Y/n just stayed the night? We've both had a long day!"

"Oh, of course, honey! Tell her she can make herself just all nice and comfy and at home! Y/n's such a sweetheart, anyways. She's always welcome!"

Oscar smiles, looking at you. "You heard that, right?"

You smile back up at him with a little laugh. "Yeah, I heard that."

He nods, saying, "C'mon, let's go to my room."

The two of you head there, both of you knowing the way to Oscar's childhood bedroom from all the years you used to spend in there together. When you walk in, seeing all the dressers in the same place they always were, and all Oscar's old decorations from his karting days, memories seem to flood back, just like that, and both you and Oscar feel it. You crawl onto his bed, just like you always used to do, flopping down against his pillows, making yourself at home.

Oscar smiles and crawls in next to you. Just like he always used to do, too. "Last time we were both here was..."

"...right after you joined McLaren, right?" you smile at the memory.

"I guess so." He smiles down at you.

"I remember distinctly, one time, you had been gone so, so long, and I asked your mum if I could surprise you when you got home..."

Oscar starts laughing, clearly remembering it to. "Ohhh yeah. I threw open the bedroom door and flopped on my bed, even though you were on it. By the time I saw you and yelped, it was too late."

"Yeah, and I wrapped my arms around you and started tickling you," you say giggling.

He rolls his eyes, grinning. "I remember. By the end of it, I was gasping and near tears. God, Y/n, you know I was tired."

"I know. But I made you laugh and smile, didn't I? And I made you feel better, didn't I?"

"I mean, I was just happy to see you," he says, his gaze comfortably resting on yours.

"I was happy to see you. Do you know how much I missed you those months?"

"You miss me if you don't see me for a week, Y/n, still."

"Why do you think I come to every race that I can?"

"Because I pay for you to?"

You roll your eyes at that, crossing your arms, "I mean, yeah, but that's not the sentiment I was going for!"

He laughs, giving your shoulder a little playful tap. "I know, I know."

You sigh deeply, the sweet silence settling between the two of your for a little while, before murmuring, "And I hope you remember after that tickle attack, when your face was red and you were nearly crying from laughing, I gave you the biggest hug of all time..."

Oscar's face warms at that as he leans a bit closer to you. "Yeah... Yeah, I remember. You wanna know why that moment was special to me?"

"Why?"

"Because that was the moment I realized that there are some people in my life that never truly will leave me. Even if I leave them. And you're one of the best of them. That was when I learned what family is."

You nod slowly, thinking about that for a few moments, before saying, "That's... so sweet. I like it."

Oscar smiles. "Me, too. I like it too. I'm so lucky to have a best friend like you."

"And I so lucky to have a best friend like you."

Oscar smiles at that, nodding, satisfied, before letting out a big yawn, reminding you if a sleepy cat, before folding his hands up into fists and rubbing his watery eyes.

And, as if it's contagious, you let your own yawn, a few moments later.

Oscar smiles, this time more sleepily at you, before slipping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you a little closer to himself. You flop your head to lean against his shoulder, and murmur, "Time for us both to get the much-needed rest our bodies are begging us for?"

"Mmm-hm. Yeah. Whatever you said," Oscar murmurs as he drifts off, the hint of a smile still lingering on his mostly relaxed face.

And you both drift off, surrounded by that perfect warmth and tranquility that feels just like home.

A little under a week later, you're sleeping against Oscar in a very similar position, feeling like you're just as at home in China than you are in Australia, simply because of the person you're resting against, when you're awakened by the painful claims, "I ship it, the mechanics ship it, the other teams' drivers ship it, the fans ship it. My God, even my mum ships it! Literally everyone can see you're mad in love except you and her!"

You stretch, your eyes fluttering open, and murmur before you're even sure it's Lando's unwanted yapping torturing your ears, "Landooo shut uppp..."

Oscar gives your shoulder a squeeze, groaning to Lando in his perfectly alert awake state (contrary to yours), "Look at that, Lando, you made her wake up!"

"Oh, yeah, 'cause you'd hate for her to stop sleeping against y-"

"Lando, stop, it's not like that."

"How come every time a girl and a guy are friends, everyone ships them? I think that's society's problem," you comment as you rub your tired eyes.

Lando snorts, saying, "It's not every time. You guys are just obvious. And oblivious. You just need to admit it to each other."

"There's nothing to admit to each other, Lando," Oscar comments as he watches you slowly lean off of him, slipping his arm off your shoulders.

"Yeah, we're, like, brother and sister."

"Well, I wouldn't say that-" Oscar begins quickly.

"I mean, yeah, like-"

"We're more like just really close friends," Oscar finishes confidently.

"Yes, that's true, I agree," you say quickly, looking up at him. "We're family, but not brother and sister."

"Ah, so you're family, but it's not like siblings. What else could you be other than mad in love but just too dense to realize it?" Lando asks.

You just glare, crossing your arms, and Oscar comments, "I don't know, but it's not like that."

"Maybe it's just not like that simply because you both refuse to admit what you really want."

"Lando, I don't need you of all people being my psychologist. Could you just leave it?" you comment, feeling Oscar's eyes watching you.

Lando sighs (overdramatically), shrugs, and says, "Suit yourself. I'm just saying, you guys have got to get together soon, or else you'll drive yourselves and everyone else insane. We can all tell you guys just need to kiss already." And with that, he once again struts away.

As soon as he's gone, you whine, leaning your head into Oscar's shoulder, "I hate Lando!"

"Don't say that. He's just kidding," Oscar says gently.

You sigh. "I know... it's just..."

"Hm?" Oscar prompts gently.

"I don't want people thinking something that's not true."

"Who cares what they think? We both know how we feel about each other, and that's all that matters." But do we? Oscar's brain echoes.

"Yeah, you're right," you murmur, nodding, comforted by his words, not even picking up the way he stares forward, eyebrows knitted together, deep in thought.

You've heard what you think you want to hear, and that's all that matters to you.

The moment you see Oscar after his podium, after he stood on the first step, winning such a solid race as that, you run into his arms, causing him to laugh as he hugs you back, saying, "Hey, Y/n."

"I'm so proud of you!" you say excitedly. "Amazing drive- amazing!"

"Thank you, Y/n. It means a lot. I'm so happy you were here to cheer me on."

You grin up at him. "Me, too, Oscar. Me too."

He celebrated with his team after the race, you staying in your hotel, since Oscar promised you he'd like to bring you home with him to Monaco, and have a more low key celebration, without as many people. Besides, you'd like it that way better anyway. And this way, you can get some extra sleep and try to avoid some of the jet lag from the long flight to Monaco.

Now you stand in Oscar's bathroom back in Monaco, gazing at yourself in the mirror in your white crop top and silver skirt, knowing that when you step out of the bathroom, all you need is for Oscar to tell you it looks nice, and then all your worries will vanish.

And once you do, of course, he stands up from the living couch and says, "You look really pretty. Ready to go?"

You smile softly, sighing in relief, and nod. "Yes. I'm ready to go celebrate with the winner of the 2025 Chinese Grand Prix." You laugh a bit, and add as you head out to the car, "Oscar, you know I'm so incredibly proud of you."

He grins. "I know, I know." You know he loves your lavishing, even if he wouldn't admit it. He's never gotten enough of it; you're one of the people that appreciate him the most, you think, at least. You appreciate him a whole lot, anyways.

Soon you get to your destination, and the night starts off really fun, you and Oscar just sticking with each other, laughing, singing, drinking, and dancing. But after too long, the air becomes stale, the noise becomes too loud, and the drinks turn bitter. You're tired, and Oscar's off somewhere, swept away with his other friends. You sigh deeply, leaning against the wall, running a hand through your hair.

It's then that you feel a hand on your shoulder, and it makes you flinch. It's unfamiliar.

It's not Oscar's hand.

You look up to see a man around your age with tangled overgrown curly brown hair and dark, cold eyes. He's wearing a gold chain around his neck and a football jersey. It's then that he shows you his unflattering smirk and says in a thick French accent, "I'm Jordan."

You just kind of nod, showing a fake smile and crossing your arms, not really in the mood for any antics with any strange guys.

His eyebrows raise as he says, "Do you have a name, or am I going to have to give you one?"

Your lip immediately curls up as you look at him from the corner of your eye, still not tilting your face directly towards him. "You're not smooth. My name is Y/n."

"Pretty name for a pretty girl. A sassy girl, too, at that. I like that."

You bite your lip, rolling your eyes in utter annoyance at this guy 'Jordan.' "Good for you..." you murmur, trying to send him the message that you really don't want to talk with him.

Jordan just hums and steps closer to you. You glance up at him for the first time, really, feeling a bit sick from how close he is to you. You murmur awkwardly, "Could you please step away?"

"No, I don't think I will. I'm enjoying your reaction too much."

"Please, stop."

He roughly grabs your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. You swallow deeply.

"I really like your skirt..." he purrs, leaning in closer to you, completely ignoring your protests. His hand slips onto your thigh and grips it tightly.

"Stop... I don't care-"

"You don't, don't you? Well, what a shame... I reckon there's not much you can do about that..."

"St-"

He lips meet yours in a nasty, rough kiss. Your head pounds and spins as your knees begin to shake, panic of what's happening sinking in, your thoughts raging with anxious thoughts at the same time as your head being completely empty. You push at his chest, but he pushes his whole body up against yours, pinning you to the wall, further into a shadow.

You gasp, the panic sinking in deeper, and hardly register what happens next.

Oscar's familiar voice in all the chaos says in one of the angriest, coldest tones you've ever heard from his mouth, "Get your fucking nasty hands away from her."

Jordan tears his lips away from your mouth as Oscar grabs him, Jordan turning his head to look behind him, but before he has a chance to react, you watch as a fist comes flying across and hits him square across the face. He stumbles back and as blood begins gushing from his nose. For a moment, his eyes meet yours in shock, as if he expects you to help a dog like him, but it's then that you watch Oscar grab him by the collar and murmur in the darkest of tones to him, "I told you to get your nasty hands away from her, and you didn't. That's my girl, and no one dares to touch her like that. You better not think you can go on like this, and I hope this can be a reminder for you not to." And with that, Oscar throws another punch, hitting the guy in his eye. You slowly slip down the wall, still watching in shock as Oscar finishes him off by handing one more punch to him on his bloody jaw, before letting go of his collar, letting him fall to the floor, finishing with a yell, "The pain you're feeling right now is nothing compared to the pain you deserve!"

You watch as Jordan scampers up and, just like that, without even considering a fight, stumbles off, out of sight.

And then, everything hushed, Oscar turns, and his eyes meet yours. His hair is a little sweaty and messed up, falling over his forehead. For a moment, you see that remaining burning anger, but as soon as he takes you in, that vanishes, and is replace by the familiar warmth he seems to always look at you with.

And the moment your eyes lock, the tears start coming, and you break down.

Oscar is immediately by your side, pulling you into his arms, sitting on the floor next to you and holding you in his lap, gently stroking your hair. After a while, you hiccup, slowly leaning away, your body still shaking, and murmur, mopping up your eyes with your hands, "Os- Oscar... That was scary. I'm scared."

He gently takes your hand. "You don't have to be. I'm here. Are you ready to go home?"

You nod slowly, and Oscar helps you up, leading you out back to his car, his arm around your back protectively the entire time.

Once back in the car, as the events of what just happened replay through your head, you hiccup, more tears threatening to flow. Oscar gently takes your hand, murmuring in the dark of the parked car, "Tell me what I can do for you, and I'll do it. I hope you know I'll do anything for you to feel better."

You sigh shakily and just lean into him. He wraps his arms around you, holding you for a few minutes, before you lean away again and murmur, "Let's just get home..."

Oscar nods. "Good idea." He turns the car on and begins driving, and as soon as he does holds his hand that he's not using to drive out to you. You put your hand in his, letting the warmth from it fill you and comfort you.

As he drives, you suddenly say in the empty silence, "'That's my girl.' That's what you said."

Oscar just nods a little. "I know. I did mean to say that, you know."

You swallow, thinking for a few moments, before murmuring the simple question, "Why?"

"Because you've always been mine and I've always been yours, haven't I?"

You swallow. "I don't know what that means."

"Forget what it means. You're the most important girl- the most important person- to me. You're my girl, and I'm not going to let anyone be messing with you."

That feels right to you, and good to you, to hear that. And you're glad, in a way, that he's so confidently figured that out. It frees you to say back, "Well, yeah, then... I guess that makes you my boy, then..."

Oscar smiles very softly, giving your hand a little squeeze as you arrive at his home. Once you're both inside, before you have a chance to start worrying, Oscar says gently, putting a hand on your shoulder, "I want you to be comfortable. What do you need? I could get you something to eat, run a bath for you, get a change of clothes, all three, whatever else you need-"

"Oh, uh, don't worry about it-"

"Hush," Oscar suddenly interrupts, shaking his head. He moves to stand right in front of you, before gazing down into your eyes, and saying in all sincerity, "Look, I want you to be honest. I want to take care of you if that's what you need. I want you to be comfortable."

You swallow, nodding a bit, before murmuring, "A bath and a change of clothes might be nice... I'm not hungry, though."

Oscar nods, putting his hand on your back, leading you to his room. He opens his closet and says, "You can wear whatever you can find. I'm going to go run that bath for you; I'll call you when it's ready. I'll get a towel for you in the bathroom, too."

You nod, find one of his bigger McLaren T-shirts and a pair of black sweatpants, and head to the bathroom just as Oscar is calling for you.

Oscar smiles at you gently when you walk in and say simply, "Anything else you need?"

You shake your head 'no,' saying, "Thank you."

He nods. "Of course. I'll just be in the living room, you can come there when you're done. Call me if you need anything. And take your time, too."

You smile weakly, nodding. "Alright. Thanks, Osc."

He nods, leaving you to have your bath. You peel off your clothes and sink into the water, feeling its warmth surround you like an embrace. You let out a long sigh of relief as the water touches your sore, tense muscles, soothing them. After the night you've had, it feels good to just be. To just experience something genuinely good and calming, knowing Oscar is just in the next room.

Oscar. The way he stood up for you, was so protective of you, and beyond that, has been taking such good care of you... You know Oscar a good man... He was always a really sweet boy, and he's grown up to be a really very upright and sweet man. It was crazy- crazy- to see him go off on that stranger, and beat him up the way he did.

But somehow, it felt right. It was just proving he's good. That he cares so much about and for you, he won't let anyone hurt you without knowing the consequences of it from him.

How much does he really care about me?

The question almost feels good to ask, because you have a feeling the answer is one you like.

And then the way he so confidently called you his girl.

'That's my girl.'

Just looking back on it, for some reason, it makes your heart skip a beat. It's that chest-tightening nervous affectionate feeling you get often when Oscar does or says little things. Although this time, it's not little, and every new thing he does seems to make your stomach flutter a little more. It's a familiar feeling that you're sure you've gotten hundreds of times before with Oscar, but for some reason, you're only realising it now. Why, you have no idea, and what the strange feelings could mean, you have even less of an idea.

Soon, you finish your bath, and after drying yourself put on Oscar soft, comfortable clothes, no matter how over sized they are on you. Besides, you don't care in the slightest about that as soon as you inhale his familiar, comforting scent when you put them on. You go to the living room and see Oscar laying on the couch on his phone, now in a T-shirt and sweatpants, just relaxing. As soon as you walk in, though, he looks up.

"Osc...? Do you have a brush I could use for my hair?"

He nods, hopping up from the couch, and says, "Yeah, I do. Wait here, I'll be right back. Just get yourself comfy."

He leaves, and you shrug, taking his advice, and curl up on the couch, waiting for him to come back. He takes longer than you expect him to, but soon enough, he walks back in and sits next to you, saying, "Why don't you just relax, and I can brush it for you?"

"Seriously? You don't have to," you say immediately, secretly wanting badly for him to brush your hair for you. You love the feeling of other people playing with your hair- and if it's Oscar, even better.

He smiles at you. "I know, but I want to." And with that, to both of your delight apparently, begins gently brushing through your hair. When he's done, he slowly start running his fingers through it, starting from the bottom and going up to the top. You sigh, leaning back into him, and Oscar just simply loves it. After a while he says, softly amused, "You just seem to melt when my hands are in your hair."

You shrug, smiling a little, and say, "What can I say? It feels really good."

He chuckles that low comforting chuckle that feels just like home. "I can tell." After a few more minutes he says, "I found a hair tie I think you must've left here at one point. Do want me to braid your hair or something?"

You smile, glancing back at him, and say, "You can do that? I don't know if I can trust you."

He just smiles back at you. "You should. I'm good at it. Remember, I grew up with three sisters."

You shrug again before saying, "Well, alright..."

He chuckles softly again, before he gently begins braiding your hair, his fingers gently weaving through your locks, slowly, until he finally finishes and ties it on the end. Once he's finished, you turn around to face him.

He smiles at you.

You smile back, taking his hands in both of yours.

"You're beautiful," he suddenly says, looking right into your eyes. "I don't think I've told you that enough. Because I think it all the time, whenever I look at you."

For some reason, your friend saying that makes you blush. There are a few moments of silence, before you look down at your joined hands and murmur, "Crazy that the hands that beat up that guy are the same hands that just gently braided my hair."

Oscar shrugs, smiling a little. "They have different uses in different moments. And I don't regret what I did for a moment, not any of it. I would do the exact same thing if I had to do it all again. In fact, just thinking about it makes me really angry. But what matters most is that you're okay."

You sigh slowly, nodding, your head a bit dizzy at the thought of it all. "I'm just so thankful for you, throughout it all. You, like, saved the day..." you chuckle wryly.

He shrugs, nodding a bit. "I guess." A little laugh.

More silence.

You stare down once more at your joined hands. "But Oscar..." you begin hesitantly.

"Yes?" he prompts gently.

"...I'm sorry."

"Y/n... for what? You did nothing wrong-!" Oscar begins somewhat incredulously.

"It's just... You were celebrating your win..."

"Oh, Y/n..." Oscar begins, his tone softening. "Come on, now. Look up at me, will you?"

You sigh, doing so.

"It's not your fault, what happened," Oscar says. "It's that idiot's fault, and we both know that. What happened happened, and there was no preventing it. And if you're worried about me, don't be. I had a perfectly good time celebrating in China with my team. This was more that I wanted to do something with you, for you. But look at this right now. Here we are, sitting together, anyway. Isn't that what matters the most anyway; isn't that the point? So why don't we just make the most of this moment, right now, hm?"

You sigh again, nodding slowly, before saying, you heart almost feeling like it's being squeezed, "Okay."

"Hey," Oscar murmurs, his hand touching the bottom of your chin. "You're looking down again. Talk to me." He gently raises your chin.

You swallow, and suddenly, words that you hardly knew you even thought start coming from your mouth, and only now as you hear them in your voice do they even begin to make sense: "I guess it's just that... You're so caring and gentle with me, and protective. And we like each other so much and get along so well and we've known each other for years and... I guess sometimes I wonder about us... You know, our relationship, like, what even is it? I mean, I think we'd both readily admit we most definitely love each other, but I guess... well, I don't know..."

Oscar nods slowly, before whispering, as if it's some long kept secret, "You guess you just wonder in what way we love each other?"

You swallow, nodding. "Well, yes, exactly. Because... well, I don't know."

"Can I tell you how I feel about you?"

You study his face for a few moments- his handsome face- and nod.

"I feel about you the most deep feeling I've ever known, deeper than I ever thought I could experience. The love I have for you is beyond anything I could describe in a physical sense- it's beyond a romantic love or and family love or the strongest kind of named love I could think of. All I know is that when I look at you, I see fulfillment, and happiness. I see everything I've ever needed, plus everything I've ever wanted. I see a priceless jewel- the sort of thing that anyone would honor and protect with their life. I see beauty herself, on the inside and out. I see my best friend, my favorite person, the one I would spend any and every moment with, if I could. I see comfort, I see love. I look at you and know the great lengths I would go for you. I know it's all so cliche, but it is a love beyond words. It is. I just..." he trails off, before leaning in and whispering, "Are you crying?"

You sniff, looking away, your heart pounding. "No..."

He smiles gently, his hand leaving yours to reach up and wipe a tear away off your cheek with his thumb, "Don't cry."

"That's just so... sweet... and... everything I exactly feel, too, put into words..."

"Y/n..." he hums gently with a little chuckle. "I don't want you to cry, though."

"Don't worry," you say with a little hiccupy laugh. "They're good tears."

He smiles a bit, grabbing your hand again and giving it a squeeze. "Okay."

You swallow, before daring to ask, "What would the difference be, if you were my boyfriend instead of my best friend?"

Oscar eyes seem to light slightly at the question, and he says simply, "Nothing at all, except for one thing: we would be able to express that deep love for each other in different ways."

You nod slowly, swallowing.

Oscar leans in closer to you. "How does that sound to you?"

"I... I think it could be just what I need."

Oscar smiles softly. "I mean, I feel like... it would be nice to not just have to use my words to tell you how much I love you. You know, to be able to kiss you, or something, instead."

You find yourself smile a little at the words, nodding as pinkness gets to your cheeks. "Yeah... that doesn't sound so bad."

Oscar smiles, just gazing into your eyes. "Yeah?"

"It's just that... with tonight, with what happened..."

"Oh, I wasn't meaning we had to do anything tonight- just to think about. You know...?"

You nod slowly, before muttering, "But maybe... Just maybe tonight is the night to do it." You pause, before continuing, "You know, with all that happened, maybe if we just decided... tonight, let's just take a little step... it would help me to leave that. You know, it wasn't my fault... and I have someone who really does love me."

Oscar smiles. "And I really do."

You smile back, looking back up into his sweet brown eyes.

He slips his hand out of yours and gently brings it to your cheek, muttering, "Well, is it okay if I kiss you? Just a little kiss?"

You smile wider, feeling your stomach flutter at the sincere question. Nodding, you reply, "Yes, I reckon that is okay."

Oscar nods, his thumb stroking your cheek a bit as he leans in, his other hand gently touching your waist. His hand on your cheek shifts to cup the side of your neck, and he whispers, his warm breath on your ear, "You still okay?"

You nod.

And with that, he leans in, and, pulling you closer to himself, kisses you in the most perfect way. His adoration and love for you flows through the kiss, while still keeping it short and gentle. When he leans away, he whispers, "How was that?" with a little adorable smile.

You just sigh shakily and murmur, "I think you should do it again."

And he does without a second more of hesitation. His lips meet yours as he pulls your body closer to himself, lost in the kiss, lost in his emotions. When he pulls away again, he's pulled you onto his lap, but neither of you seem to care, both too swept up in each other's gazing eyes.

"I didn't realize for how long I needed to do that..." he whispers gently.

You smile a little. "I didn't realize how long I needed that from you."

He smiles back. "We'll call that both of our first kisses, okay?"

You nod. "Does this mean I'm your girlfriend now?"

"I like the sound of that."

You smile and throw your arms around him in an embrace. He pulls you closer to him, leaning back so that you can lay your head on him, and rubs your back, whispering, "I love you so much, Y/n. So, so much. To the moon and the stars and all the way back."

You smile up at him. "I don't know about the moon and the stars for me Oscar, but I'll tell you this: I love you enough to want to spend my life with you. I love you enough to want to grow old with you."

At those words, Oscar's arms tighten around you, and he chuckles, "See how sappy we suddenly get as soon as we decide to just give it up and kiss? My God."

You grin into his chest. "Yeahhh... But I don't mind it."

"Oh, trust me, I don't either." He shifts, moving you with him, making you both comfortable, so that you're laying together, cuddling.

"I really like this."

He hums. "Me too."

"You know we'll never hear the end of it from Lando if he finds out."

You feel the vibration of his laugh in his chest. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, let's just relax. I just want to be. Be with you."

"I think that sounds like exactly what I was made for. To be with you."

He smiles, and you shut your eyes, content to listen to his heartbeat and just be.

Just be with him.

181 notes · View notes

asxgard · 9 hours ago

Text

Companionship | pt. 4

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x f!reader

Previous | Next

Summary: The lines of your agreement begin to blur with one simple word: sweetheart.

[ Series Masterlist ]

Note: Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, commented and/or followed me!! I truly appreciate each and every one of you💜(I’m screaming with joy on the inside)

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: age gap, alcohol, mild fluff, feelings, foul language, hospital stresses, some angst thrown in because what the hell, slowburn, they AWKWARD (I love them)/bad jokes, idk Robby��s a hockey fan because I could totally see that (baseball too)

not beta read

When one of your co-workers had asked you on a date the following week, you had turned him down. It had come as a surprise, not having said much more than pleasantries to each other when you passed in the hall. He was nice, attractive enough to have caught your attention before, but you told him you were not looking to date. Too busy, gotta focus on school, just not for me right now, were all valid reasons. Not because of Michael. Nope. That would be stupid.

You tried to remove yourself from getting too wrapped up in your imagination. Frankly, because it was making you incredibly anxious. You texted Erin and Marsi to hang out, to come study, to go out for brunch, anything to get you out of your apartment. You worked longer hours. You even joined a random study group with some other accounting majors.

You believed you had it all back on track just two weeks after your dinner. But it was hard to ignore the way your pulse quickened whenever he called. You kept telling yourself it was still the anxiety around the arrangement and not the person on the other end.

Michael called late one Tuesday, exhausted from his shift. You began to think that perhaps he did not enjoy returning to an empty, quiet apartment to be alone with his thoughts.

“Hey,” he said, voice low, rougher than usual.

“Long night?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked, laying down on your bed after changing into some pajamas.

He let out a long sigh, “Perhaps another time.”

You were smart enough to pick up on the deflection, but you hummed, “Sure.”

The silence that followed was deafening. You felt stupid for getting upset over his deflection, annoyed that it was likely just going to be another night you filled the void with your voice. Was it stupid and unjustified to get frustrated with him? More than likely. Did you feel that way anyways? Definitely. You kept trying to remind yourself you were both barely acquaintances, and this was exactly what you had signed up for.

“Can I ask you something?” You ventured, glancing at your nails.

“Shoot.”

“Why’d you become a doctor?”

There were several moments of silence as he digested the question, and you anxiously bit at the side of your nails.

“I wanted to help people.” He told you, but there was something in his tone that suggested it was just a reflex answer. In the quiet that followed, he cleared his throat, “It wasn’t easy. I was tested at every turn, still am. But it meant something. It mattered.”

Something so large went unspoken between you — I mattered. You did not dare speak on it.

“That’s very honorable.”

“Honor’s got nothing to do with it.”

“Well, I find that very honorable. Selfless.” You stressed, staring up at your ceiling.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment, “how was your day?”

Despite wanting to push, you realized that perhaps you had wandered into territory far too personal for your arrangement, which made your cheeks flare with heat. You found yourself wanting to get to know him more than was likely appropriate.

You launched into your day, discussing a few minor details about work and the new system they were slowly beginning to implement. You paused after he yawned, causing you to mirror it.

“Goodnight,” you said first, eyes heavy.

“Goodnight,”

—

It was easily your busiest day all month. Between onboarding a bunch of new employees, cashing out a handful of ones that had quit, studying for an exam, a project and a few prior commitments to hang out with your friends, you were stretched thin. You left your apartment early and were not set to return until late.

Hunger ate away at your stomach as lunchtime came and went without stopping to eat. Thankfully you had left a granola bar in your desk drawer, but it did little to satisfy you.

After clocking in overtime, you left the office just after 6 — moving into your car and finally taking a breath. You quickly went through a handful of notifications, before finding a text from Michael timestamped at 2:23.

Can we talk tonight?

You debated it. You wanted to, but you still had things to do and you were starving.

Raincheck?

I had the busiest day and I haven’t been able to eat yet.

Your phone buzzed with an alert not even a moment later, while you sat still in your car, trying to take a moment for yourself.

We could grab food instead?

. . .

New Thai place opened up near me

Your stomach grumbled, making up your mind for you. Smiling to yourself and deciding the last details of your project could be edited the following morning, you agreed, asking for the address.

You were far too hungry for the nerves of seeing him again to invade — instead trying to freshen up with the aid of your sun visor mirror and whatever you could find in your bag. Lipgloss and a tiny bottle of perfume were going to have to make it work. You studied your reflection, and tried to fix your hair as much as you could given the circumstances.

The Thai place was busy, which considering they had only just opened, should have been expected. You found a parking space near the back and sent a text to let Michael know you had arrived.

Smoothing out your work slacks and blouse once you were out of the car, you pulled your blazer tight — the evening having grown chilly. You saw Michael waiting near the front door, dressed in jeans and a casual zip-up sweatshirt, a festival t-shirt peeking through.

You smiled as you approached, “Hi.”

He smiled in return, taking you in, putting his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. “Hi.”

You glanced in the window to see how busy the place was and your stomach protested.

“They said the wait to sit down was likely going to be an hour,”

You frowned, glancing around at the other buildings on each side of the street.

“There’s a Chinese place just a block away, we could try that?” He offered.

“Do you mind?” You asked quietly, bringing your arms across your body. “I’d still like to check this place out, but I don’t think I can wait that long.”

He smiled easily, “Not at all.”

You stepped into pace with him, heading down the sidewalk towards the Chinese restaurant. You were away from the more central part of Pittsburgh, but traffic still whizzed by, undisturbed by the darkening skies.

“Did you work today?” You asked, peeking at him from the corner of your eye.

“No, but I have a swing shift tomorrow. Haven’t had to work one of those in awhile, but we’re short staffed.” He explained with a tiny shrug.

You absorbed the new information. “You usually work days?”

“Normally, yeah. Sort of a perk of…my job title.” He chuckled.

Part of you wanted to ask what exactly that title was, but realized it would likely give away too much information. From everything you knew about his job, it definitely seemed like he worked in a hospital as opposed to a clinic or private practice — ICU perhaps? Emergency room? Curiosity ate away in your mind, picturing him in a white lab coat, but you tried to shake off the thought.

He held the door open for you, and you stepped into the restaurant, taking it in. The smell of food was overwhelming until it was all you could consider, your stomach making it painfully obvious how empty it was. You took note of the vending machines against the wall and the two tables — both occupied. You turned back to him and watched as he noticed the lack of seating as well.

“We could just get take out,” he said, eyes meeting yours. “My place is just a few blocks away.”

You swallowed, and genuinely considered it. You were far too hungry to try someplace else and you turned to look at the menu. Fuck it.

“That was—that was forward of me. I didn’t mean—just so we have a place to sit down and eat. We can—”

You looked up at him and smiled, “No, that’s fine. Killing me would be so hypocritical of the whole ‘do no harm’ thing.”

He blinked and your face instantly heated, digesting your own words.

“That was a terrible joke, oh my god—”

He laughed. He laughed.

All your fears washed away at the sound of it, and you smiled sheepishly before turning towards the counter at the end of the restaurant.

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a breath, grin still stretched across his face, “I wasn’t laughing at you.”

“No! I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to insinuate—”

He waved off your concern, moving towards the counter. “No harm done.”

You both ordered, and you got your usual and Michael ordered orange chicken — but you both moved to pay. You stared down at each of your cards, catching just a glimpse of his full name on the front — Michael C. Rob — the rest covered by his thumb. You glanced at his face.

His brown eyed gaze was on you, too, holding steady for several beats of your heart, and it took the sigh from the woman behind the counter for you to move again.

“I got it.” He said.

“Thank you.” You whispered, putting your card back into your wallet.

The woman informed you it would just take ten minutes, much to your relief. You moved off to the side and leaned against the wall to wait, Michael leaning next to you. It was a small space, filled with the sounds from the kitchen seen behind the counter, and the light conversation from the five other people sitting down.

Thoughts moving from your hunger and the food, you absorbed the information that he lived near here. It was a considerably nicer part of Pittsburgh, you knew you could never even afford a studio in the area, but it made sense. He had money — he had money to burn, considering your monthly stipend.

The walk back to his place after you had collected your food was quiet, and you savored the sound of his street — off the main streets, it was nice. You had long grown used to the white noise of cars outside your window in your own apartment.

There was a doorman when you arrived at his building, and you craned your neck to look up at it. Red brick and large windows, and your shoes clacked! on the clean tile once you were through the main door. It was immaculate, and gave you the sudden intrusive thought that you did not belong. It worked up your throat like bile and you turned your eyes to the floor.

You took the elevator up with him to one of the top floors, and you stared at yourself in the mirror on either side of the elevator. His reflection watched you, until the elevator doors opened. The hallway was empty and quiet, and you reflexively reached for the takeout bag so he could get his keys.

21B

His apartment was beautiful. Even before he flicked the lights on, you knew — late evening light spilling in from the windows along the far wall. It was an open floor plan, his front door opening into his living room with a tiny entryway. His kitchen was laid on the right side, with a quaint dining room set up, large windows and a door to a balcony. There was an archway that led to a hallway along the wall to your left — presumably to his bedroom and bathroom.

The brick accents did wonders for the space, and the furnishings were modest. Not fancy or flashy, but clearly not second-hand. There was something distinctly lived in about the space, a discarded book on the end table and scattered coasters on the coffee table. There was a dip on the L-shaped couch, a favorite spot undoubtedly, with the remote haphazardly discarded on one of the cushions.

He removed his shoes in the entryway, and you followed his lead before you followed after him.

“I don’t have much in terms of drinks,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, I’ve got water and iced tea…wine, I also have wine.”

You smiled at him, placing your bag on the granite countertop. “Water’s just fine, thank you.”

He nodded, putting the takeout bag next to the sink, when he reached into one of the cabinets to get a glass. While he sorted through the bag, and got your drink, you wandered over to the windows, glancing at the city sprawled out before you, the sunset burning behind the buildings. The sky was a fine array of oranges and reds, and you found you loved the view.

Michael cleared his throat behind you, making you jump. He smiled sheepishly, handing you the glass of water. You took it with a smile of your own and sipped it.

“You have a really nice place.” You found yourself saying, still looking over the walls and wood finishes.

“Oh, thank you.”

You walked back into the kitchen with him and followed his lead bringing your food into his living room. You glanced at his dining table, but did not question it — not being able to argue to sit down on a very comfortable looking couch after you had been running around all day.

You both began eating with a Penguins game in the background, and you did your best to be polite and not inhale your food.

“Did you want to talk about your day?” He asked after a few bites of his orange chicken.

You looked over to him, swallowing a mouthful of food. “Me?”

He looked amused, “You.”

You blinked, “I mean, aside from it being an incredibly long and busy day, there’s not much to say. A shitshow, but hey, that’s showbiz, baby.”

The corners of his lips rose into a grin, “Yeah? I didn’t know accounting and show business were related.”

You held up your hand and crossed two of your fingers, “Incredibly intertwined. You could play ‘pick the narcissist�� with either profession, and you’d be right either way.”

Michael laughed, “Run into a lot of those today?”

You shrugged, but your lips were inching upward, “Without delving into company secrets, yeah, my boss can be a bit of a megalomaniac. It’s all a numbers game, even at the price of employee satisfaction. There’s been a high turnover rate recently.”

Michael nodded like he fully understood what you were talking about. “Have you considered leaving?”

“Frequently. Once I graduate, for sure. Only a few more months.” You chewed a bite of your food, the hunger in your stomach ebbing away, “How has work been for you?”

“Admin has been on my ass,” he told you, eyes flickering to the tv and back to you. “Patient satisfaction scores, you know?”

“You have satisfaction scores?” You asked incredulously, confusion knitting your brows together. “That sounds like some shit they do for a fast food chain.”

He gestured wildly with his hands, “That’s what I said.”

“I mean, sure, satisfaction is important in any industry — but that wouldn’t be my main concern in a hospital environment. How is employee satisfaction?”

“Down,” Michael said with a frown. “Understaffing is a big problem. Nurses, attendings, techs, you name it. Wait times are high, and I just don’t have the staff to bring it down.”

“Damn,” you breathed out, “I guess I can’t say I’m surprised, especially not after the pandemic.”

He looked down into his food, nodding, “The pandemic hit us hard. There’s definitely a distinct difference in life before and life after for most of us.”

You watched him, noticing the smallest wince in his cheek at the mention of it. And to think just the other week that I had been thinking how nice it had been to work from home. You swallowed your guilt with the last bite of your food, noticing how the mood shifted.

Your knees brushed when he turned his eyes back to the television, a faraway look in his eyes. You bumped his knee purposefully the second time, gaining his attention.

“I don’t know how to help you, or even if I can, or if you even want me to. But I’m always here if you want to talk, or if you need a distraction.” You offered with a small smile.

His face relaxed at that, “And that’s enough, sweetheart, thank you. Being able to talk, or think about anything else has been incredibly helpful.”

While you absorbed everything he said, the word sweetheart bounced around in your head, making your palms clammy.

“Of course, yeah,” you looked away from him, unable to hold his gaze.

“I mean it.” He said, gaining your full attention, “Thank you.”

A genuine smile appeared on your face, soft and gentle.

Hours passed with simpler conversation, both your attentions on the hockey game. But you would be lying if you said you missed the way his touch lingered on your skin, or how warm his body felt next to you, throwing your thoughts in a frenzy.

You were thankful that he was talking about simple, mundane things, because you were having a hard time focusing on it. You felt like a stupid hormonal teenager sat next to him, stuck in your own head rather than the moment.

When the game ended at a brutal 3-0 against, you could not help but yawn.

“I should probably call it,” you said, glancing at the time on your phone.

He nodded, moving to sit up, rolling his shoulders with the softest groan that short-circuited your brain. He held his hand out to you and you took it, gathering your scattered thoughts, trying to remember to grab all your things.

“Let me walk you to your car.” He said, putting on his shoes.

“You don’t have to do that—”

“Well, I’m going to anyway. It’s late and your car is several blocks away.”

You grabbed your bag, cheeks heating, “Alright.”

Once outside, you absentmindedly looped your arm with his, his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. Neither of you spoke on it, his eyes only lingering on your face for a few short seconds. You enjoyed the warmth of his body, pressed into his side — the thoughts in your head momentarily quieting.

You felt like the walk to your car had been far too short as opposed to the walk to his place, and it took a moment to finally let go of him.

“Thank you for walking me.” You said, looking at him. “I had a good time tonight.”

“I did, too. Spontaneous. It was good.”

Nodding in agreement, you stepped toward your car. “I’ll let you know when I get home?”

“Yeah,” he smiled softly at you. “get home safe.”

You parted with a lingering goodbye.

—

It had only been a few days since you had heard from Michael, though that wasn’t uncommon. Part of you felt antsy about it — fingers itching to send him a message or call to check in on him. You felt foolish, a tiny part of your brain aching to connect with him. Every time the thought crossed your mind, you pushed it back down, desperate to discard it. He wasn’t looking for connection — that was the exact opposite of what he was looking for.

Sweetheart echoed in your head even now, the rough timber of his voice burrowing deep, making your heart flutter.

Huffing a long sigh, you focused back on your report, but your eyes seemed to look straight through the screen like it wasn’t even there.

When your phone buzzed, you quickly reached for it. You tried not to feel the disappointment flood through your system at the text from Marsi.

I had the worst day. Let’s go out tonight?

You pursed your lips, debating it. It surely would get your mind off a certain someone, and maybe even help you get your thoughts back on track.

Please

You sent back.

—

The bar was pretty busy. It had been a long time since you had been out on a Friday night. Marsi clearly had been through it, her numerical analytics presentation for her computer science masters had gone terribly when she had misunderstood a pretty large part of the project. She had the weekend to correct it — the professor not wanting to fail her.

But she had needed a night off, and you decided a night off would be good for you, too. It was nice. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

Marsi ordered shots, downing hers as quickly as it came. You hesitated, staring at the clear liquid. You debated it, but then decided a shot and a drink wouldn’t throw off your weekend too much.

“Alright, you’re so off. Spill.”

Your eyes went wide, looking back to your friend. “What are you talking about?”

“That! That look right there.”

You pursed your lips and frowned, sipping your drink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Is it a guy?” When she received no immediate answer, she continued, “Oh jeez, did he find out about that sugar daddy thing?”

“No! What? No, of course not.” Speaking quickly, you turned her eyes away from your friend, hoping she wouldn’t notice you flustering. “There’s no guy.”

Marsi did not look even slightly convinced, narrowing her eyes over her jack and ginger. “You suck at lying.”

Flustered, you tried to change the subject. “Did you catch the Penguins game last night?”

“What?” Marsi laughed, “Don’t try to change the subject!”

“There’s no guy.” You huffed, stressing your words.

She quirked an eyebrow, “I don’t believe you. Is it a taboo thing? Is it a co-worker?”

You tried to quiet your friend, hushing her. Give it to Marsi to see right through you. At least it’s not Erin, your mind commented.

“Professor?” Marsi shooed away your hands, “Jeez, stop that!”

“What? Ew, no!”

“Oh fuck.” Marsi said after a moment's realization. “Is it the sugar daddy?”

“No!” You protested quickly, too quickly, before adding with your nose scrunched and face ablaze, “Don’t call him that,”

Marsi groaned, “Jesus. Didn’t Erin warn you about that?”

You tried to collect yourself, taking a deep breath to steady your heart, your thoughts hazy from the questions. “Please don’t get it twisted. It’s not like that.”

Marsi gave an unconvinced hum, sipping her drink. “Do you wish it was?”

“I don’t—I—uhh—no!” You closed your eyes tight, leaning your head back trying to stifle your annoyed groan. You looked back at your friend, “No.”

Marsi was quiet, watching you closely.

“Look, I don’t want that. He’s nice. I enjoy talking with him, but that’s it. It’s not complicated like that.” You told her, gulping the last of your drink.

“Whatever you say,” Marsi waved off. “That guy across the bar has been eyeing you up for the last ten minutes. Maybe you should get laid.”

Your face burned, not even bothering to check. “I’m not into one-night stands.”

“I’m sure that’s the reason you haven’t looked.” Marsi said with a smirk.

You groaned in frustration. “Can you just drop it?”

“Sure, sure,” she sipped her drink. “You’re awfully flustered for it being something that’s not complicated.”

“Please.”

When you opened your eyes, Marsi was frowning at you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push.”

You sighed, “Thank you. I just don’t want a lecture right now.”

Marsi nodded, “You’re right, we came out to have fun! Let me tell you about this—”

Your phone buzzed on the bartop, Michael’s name lighting up your screen. Marsi’s eyes flickered from the tv above the bar to your phone to your face. She gave a wry grin.

Exasperated, ignoring the butterflies in your gut, you grabbed your phone. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

Marsi laughed, “I didn’t even say anything!”

You gave her a dry look, “I’ll be right back.”

You were out of your seat, moving quickly towards the entrance of the bar. Your heart picked back up, worry ebbing into your excitement. He never called this late without warning you first.

Not wanting to risk missing his call, you answered, “Hold on.” You moved out onto the sidewalk, moving until you were under the streetlight. “Hey.”

“Am I interrupting? I’m sorry—”

“No, no. Is everything alright?”

“I just wanted to—I thought—” Michael sighed. “I just wanted to talk.”

“Oh.”

“I shouldn’t have called, you’re clearly busy,”

“I want to talk to you, too.” You said, I wanted to talk to you all day went unspoken.

“Oh.”

You smiled gently, staring down at your feet, ‘I’m just not home yet. Can I call in like an hour?”

“Please do.”

—

“So…night out…uh, solo?” He asked after you greeted each other.

Was that jealousy in his tone? No, it couldn’t be.

“Yeah, one of my friends really needed it,” you explained, kicking off your shoes and moving into your bedroom. “She had a bad day.”

“Oh.”

“I’m glad to be home now,” You said, removing your dress, placing him on speaker. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with her. Just Friday nights out aren’t always my thing, not much anymore, anyway.”

“I get that,” he said, his tone raspy. “I wanted to check in about work. I know the last week has been stressful for you.”

You pulled a pajama top over your head. “Some of the new staff is picking up the slack, I just hope they don’t leave before I do.” You chuckled.

He let out a breathy laugh.

You crawled into your bed, stretching out with a long yawn. “Admin still up your ass?”

“More than usual, yeah.”

It did not take long into your conversation for the light snoring on the other end to start, indicating that Michael had fallen asleep. His soft breaths in and out brought a comfort to you, enjoying the simplicity of him. Instead of ending the call, you placed your phone on the nightstand next to your head.

Closing your eyes, you laid back on your pillow and went to sleep.

[ Next ]

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jUST KISS ALREADY jeez

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rottingghosty · 3 days ago

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Child of Time | DC X DP

Thanks for almost 100 followers LMAO originally I had a gala idea for when I hit 50 followers and then I disliked it so here's this instead. it's not up to my standards but what can i do when i'm on like 2 hours of sleep. (_　_)。゜zｚＺ

i like the idea of constantine being absolutely disgusting to look and feel to danny

☁️☁️☁️☁️

“I know what Clockwork really wants, he wants to me to kill my motherfucking self. That’s why he fucks with me. That’s why he gave me a fucked up ass life!” Danny shouted as he closed the flap of his tent to give himself a semblance of privacy because he’d been kidnapped by a cult who said that he’d be their priest because he’s the child of Time.

The only time that he knows is the time when he fucking decks Clockwork next time he sees the old bastard.

“But jokes on him, I ain’t going to give that motherfucker the satisfaction.”

Danny took off the cloak that the cultists forced him into and threw it on the chair in his tent, his head throbbed and it reminded him of the fact he’s had that headache for a while now. It’s probably because he hadn’t gone ghost like he usually does, he didn’t want to risk it when these cultists were keeping an eye on him. It really annoyed him.

He took a deep breath as he calmed himself, well calmed himself as good as he could when he has very much unregistered anger issues because he had been in the middle of a project when he had been taken. If he came back to the room ransacked because the Bat brood couldn't keep things clean he's going to fucking snap.

He was a teenage vigilante, he was bound to get anger issues later considering the fact that the GIW was still around and even Danny couldn't go as ghost as often as he wished and was only lucky when Gotham's abiment ecto was high enough to mask it.

The height of his anger was when one John Constantine walked into Danny's life and instantly it was on sight whenever the two interacted because John's soul was DISGUSTING and he'd die (again) on that hill. Especially when the man summoned Danny one time and Danny still gets sick whenever he thinks about the missing parts of John's soul in his magic, of the gaps that dig their claws in Danny's very being. How it felt like he was digging through sludge that dragged him down everytime.

The menace of Danny's major problems walked in, instantly Danny's nose crinkled in disgust at the smell of cigarettes as he tuck a strand behind his ear.

"John?"

"Kid, you need to stop allowing this to happen. I didn't need Wonder Woman on my arse because your ghostly father was pestering her about you being taken."

Danny supressed the urge to laugh rather hysterically because he doesn't need people to remind him that Clockwork is basically his dad in the ghost aspect of things because he basically called dibs.

"Why didn't you leave?"

"Got taken as human, in front of many people. In Gotham. Tell your batty paramour I'm fine."

John choked on his cigarette as he protested about Batman being his paramour but Danny knew that they were AT LEAST tumbling in bed because why else did Danny have the attention of the Bat Brood and it WASN'T because he was prime adoption bait no matter what his classmates said. Nor was it the fact that he accidentally punched Red Hood one time because the revnant decided to sneak up on him one day when he was walking home. Didn't even hear what the man said, just fucking bolted.

"Let's just go, you little brat. I can't believe I let your sister talk me into being your knight." John mumbled as Danny stood next to John while the man grabbed the back of Danny's shirt like he was-

"Are you fucking scruffing me?"

“Have been for the past few years mate.”

#dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #dc comics #dc universe #dc x dp au #dc x dp crossover #dc x dp prompt #dcu #john constantine #hellblazer

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steppenwolfslair · 1 day ago

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No people are not wrong that Nevecanis feels canon rather than Rookanis

An analysis (and vent) on the poor writing of the whole romance situation. A long post for those that want to read. I need to get it out of my system because more than anything this ruined my first playthrough. I know this has been talked to bits but i was recently reminded of this and it ruined things for me again while playing.

NO NEVE HATE ALLOWED, don't come here with that home wrecker bullshit.

First let's start of with saying i will be looking at what the actual text and game shows me here, no hc's, no fics just the pure canon. When the in your face text actively contradicts all of the ”subtext” a lot of people like to throw around it isn’t subtext, it's wishful thinking and making things up. We are sticking to the WRITING.

No Neve isn't a distraction, it isn't a casual relationship meant to fail. It is supposed to be genuine, Lucanis by the end of the game does love Neve and Neve loves Lucanis. Endgame convos show us this, especially if one of them dies. It isn't lust or distraction or whatever, it is a real genuine relationship. We are shown this through many lines of banter and interactions. And Spite likes Neve too i don't know where this started but Spite is fine with Neve. Stop reducing Neve and making shit up because some people just can’t handle the fact that the writing for all of this isn’t well done.

Now there is the first coffee date which i LOVE and shows that Lucanis isn't an awkward bumbling ''doesn't know intimacy'' dummy, he can flirt, he can show that he likes Rook but the game after this scene completely forgets that.

There is a very weird personalty split with nevecanis and rookanis when ti comes to Lucanis later in the game.

The problem is this: Lucanis actively pursues Neve, flirts and shows interest. He is completely capable of showing it, he isn't the closed off traumatized assassin people paint him, the game shows us this repeatedly. With Rook it is the complete opposite, stonewalled and disinterested, if someone acted like that way to your flirting you would leave them alone because you would think you were making them uncomfortable which is what it often feels like with Lucanis and Rook.

There are few moments besides the very end game that Lucanis actually reciprocates feelings, one is the lean in kiss that amounts to nothing that is never talked about and addressed and one is a RECYCLED Neve scene that is actually very sweet and insightful when it's about her but with Rook it flows incredibly awkwardly like it's missing half it's conversation. Yes acts of service are a way to show love but this is literally a recycled scene that seems far more friendly than romantic because it WAS meant to be friendly (and like i said lucanis is very capable of being romantic, he isn't an awkward little uwu i don't know how any of this works type). And then to add salt to the wound Nevecanis actually gets a follow up scene to that which confirms their feelings for each other, they get an ACTUAL verbal lock in scene that Rook doesn't.

Then we go on to the banter, Rookanis gets three lines of romance banter through the whole game with three different characters which are... fine. While Taash gets a whole series of banters with Neve same as Lucanis with others. If in party they constantly have little tid bits about what they do together and how their relationship actually progresses. Rookanis doesn't get any actual progression. Hell nevecanis banter with Taash actually talks about spites whole deal in the relationship which is never mentioned AT ALL with Rookanis. The post Talon conversation is mostly about spite with a VERY awkward lucanis standing next to Rook scene and a ''whatever this is'' I'm sorry but after all that game time this is what the relationship is? “Whatever”? And then after a whole bunch of nothing I’m sorry the end game scenes and convos are completely out of nowhere.

And don't even get me started on that little flower comment in the grove, that one legit made me sad that Lucanis wants to get flowers for Neve but a Rook version of that doesn't exist. It made me so pissed that no one writing it thought “maybe the player would like something like this”

Sure we save him from the mind prison, Rook is obviously close to Lucanis and definitely friends with him but if you had Neve and Lucanis in your party a lot like I did (and no matter what some people claim they very much flirt with each other) Neve showing up in there 100% feels like another nod to the fact that he is very much interested in HER. There is a little nice sincere bit of dialogue in there for Rook that however feels disjointed because this man has been ignoring me for most of the game at this point.

I'm sorry but the writers did an abysmal job with this relationship. More on Lucanis' side since his content is cut to shreds because from what I've been told Neve doesn't elicit the feeling of being ''the second choice''. They gave me a love interest who is more actively interested through a lot of the game in someone else and then gave them more content, in fact used Rook as a bad fill in for Neve's content.

So with the actual game you are very correct at being bitter, disappointed and robbed of a good/meaningful romance. Without fics without a shit ton of contradicting hc's and mental gymnastics Lucanis is far more into Neve than Rook for most of the game and then then definitely later when Neve and him get together.

And look this is a problem with two writers obviously not cooperating, MK getting real shit treatment at bioware (but let's not let her completely off the hook, the woman stated she hates writing romance and has received criticism before for it) ,the general unfinished nature of Lucanis' character and the fact that Neves writer definitely overdid it with the ship. Which while does give an explanation and context doesn't suddenly change the situation that it makes the player feel like ass when they find all the nevecanis info.

DATV is never beating the ''these are the writers OC's and you are here to watch them'' allegations for me.

You are allowed to feel sad and bitter about this, I still am. I feel robbed and lied to after seeing everything that Nevecanis gets that Rook doesn't. I've also seen that Neve doesn't suffer the same fate of '' i feel like she's settling'' because the game makes their relationship far more active with an amazing lock in scene and actual good reactivity.

And you can still like his in game romance for what it is I'm just saying these complaints aren't coming out of thin air, they come from the game itself showing you things that make people feel this way. After seeing the Nevecanis clips i wanted my money back. I love romance in games and here I am seeing that a side ship is meant to be more canon than my characters.

And istg if someone brings up Lucanis being demi as an excuse i will block you, demi people can be romantic (which Lucanis can be just not with Rook only in the nevecanis route ), they can flirt (which Lucanis does on the first coffee date and with Neve frequently), demi people can be very sexual (something that is alluded to with Neve banter with Taash). Stop using acephobic rhetoric to try and wash away bad, janky, unfinished writing. Demi people don't all act the same and a lot of you are projecting a stereotype on Lucanis that he isn’t (or projecting your own demi experience which he isn’t). Lucanis isn't an uwu baby who doesn't know anything about intimacy, who shies away constantly and just gets so confused and scared of flirting all the time it’s just that the writing didn’t care about Rookanis enough to show what he actually could be in a romantic relationship with Rook (see cut gondola scene and mined dialogue that went with it).

Also i couldn’t care less about what MK posts on bluesky, that isn’t in the game, it isn’t in the canon. If you want to keep to it fine but we are sticking to actual text here on my blog and this post.

EDIT (i reblogged with this but adding it to the og post too)

I just remembered this too: no matter what, even if you never go through the lock in convo for neve and lucanis to happen, lucanis still professes his feelings for her at the end game to rook saying he ''feels sorry for never telling her how he felt''.

So it really is canon that he will always like neve first and foremost.

Who in their right mind thought this would be a good experience for the player? Did absolutely no one playtest the lucanis romance and see that “hmm this feels like shit”

God this is so badly done.

#if i think up something more ill add it but yeah #weird rookanis fans i will block you immediately if you start shit a lot of you cant take any form of criticism this isn't personal #idc about your hc or fic or how much you want to make neve into ''just a fling'' none of that is actually true in game #dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #datv #dav #datv critical #dav critical #rookanis #lucanis dellamorte #lorna yaps #wolfs lucanis tag

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linkons-most-wanted · 8 hours ago

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Sylus, Intimacy and Desire: An Essay

Inspired by this excellent video essay on Zayne's intimacy and a few comments asking for a similar analysis of Sylus, I wanted to share a few of my thoughts!

I actually think that Sylus and Zayne are great to contrast to each other on this topic because they each make relatively overt bids for physical intimacy but in very different ways.

While Zayne is outwardly restrained, where that restraint causes his hidden internal desires to intensify to the point of no longer being controllable, Sylus is outwardly flirtatious/assertive, but then actually very comfortable managing/controlling his desires.

Sylus's character demonstrates that when desire is embraced and expected, and appropriately indulged, it can be confidently controlled and regulated. It can seem paradoxical at first--that the most "forward" character is also the one most interested in specific, verbal consent--but I'd argue it's spot on in terms of psychology.

Sylus knows and accepts his desires

In Midnight Stealth, he says, "I truly enjoy watching my little prey struggle. Especially when it thinks it can escape from me." There's clearly a sensual/sexual element to this, and it points directly at kink, where power and power exchance are tantamount.

More on power exchange in a second, but what I want to emphasize here is that Sylus is very comfortable with what's considered to be a very "dark" desire. (Dark romance girlies, sound off.)

Contrast this to Zayne, who feels very conflicted about even very normative, expected desires and emotions.

Sylus has a lot of reason to be very comfortable with his desires, regardless of their nature, due to his powers as a dragon. He's able to pull out others' hidden desires, so of course he knows his own. As we see in Beyond Cloudfall, the types of desire he respects are when people are true to their hearts--ie honest with themselves and others about what they truly want, even/especially when others consider those desires to be dark/deviant. MC is the only person he's met who's honest in this way and truly follows her heart.

Power exchange

We get many signs that Sylus is very interested in power exchange, such as the entirety of No Defense Zone where he taunts MC to "tame" him, and the recurring theme of "taming" and "winning his heart" that's made especially clear in Final Farewell (the Abyssal Chaos Commission) dialogue. In Night of Secrecy, when MC indicates she wants control, he says he can't give it to her--"At least, not yet."

He is actively looking the relationship to get to a point where he feels safe giving full control to MC.

Conversely, when it comes to being dominant, he doesn't value dominance for dominance's sake--he's constatly talking about how boring "weak prey" is. What is attractive to him about MC, and when she submits to him, is specifically that she's strong and powerful, specifically that she trusts him with herself. If she didn't have power to give up, power that he respected, he simply wouldn't be interested.

Delightfully, in the AU of Innocent Birdcage, we get a version of Sylus who is similarly comfortable with his desires, so we get an even more overt demonsration of bondage kink. Even when not frenzied, he's tugging that thread of power exchange, reminding MC that he's dangerous while simultaneously smitten with her courage.

Sylus gets off on more than just sex

What is so interesting to me about Sylus's portrayal is that he's very flirtatious, very forward, and very sensual--but with relatively very few on-screen/-page kisses. We get very sexually charged moments with face touching, hands (MY GOD THE HANDS), etc, but the tension is rarely diffused.

We see Sylus's physical sensitivity especially in Lost Oasis, No Defense Zone, and Innocent Birdcage. Part of why we see these sensual moments not devolve abruptly into heavy petting, like we do with Zayne, is that Sylus is not in a hurry. We see this in Night of Secrecy too--MC has to get quite forward for him to finally "give in" (though he never really loses control).

Sylus enjoys the waiting. Unlike Zayne, who sees his restraint as a matter of life and death, to Sylus, it's a game. He enjoys seeing how much teasing he can take (No Defense Zone) and putting MC in situations where he doesn't know how she'll respond ("Sylus and Tartarus are in your hands...").

Given their history in Beyond Cloudfall, things like forehead kisses are just as precious to Sylus as other more overtly sexual types of affection. Sylus is willing to accept affection and sensation in any form MC is willing to provide it, while also enjoying a bit of power play. So, touching her face, grabbing her chin, throwing her around a bit--gestures which become more affectionate and more accepted by MC over time, but still retain their value to him.

He's a young dragon

One of my absolute favorite moments in Beyond Cloudfall is when MC says, "You're a young dragon, aren't you?" It humanizes Sylus in this really profound way, reminding us that he's still figuring certain things out as he goes.

Given that he's a creature very in-touch with his instincts and desires, you're not going to get a typical virginal trope. He's certainly not naive to the mechanics--and you can certainly imagine he'd be aware of all kinds of sexual desires thanks to his draconic powers.

But, MC is still the one to introduce him to the concept of a forehead kiss. We see him be bold and flirtatious in Bloodnight Blaze, confirming that he's well in-touch with those desires, but he seems to value the tender moments equally, if not moreso.

There is this sense in his character of wanting to explore things with MC, of wanting to learn with her, to grow together. There's an openness and receptivity to his character in that way. Unlike Zayne, he may not have all that many specific ideas of what he wants to do to/with MC--he wants to experience that intimacy with her having equal agency and initiative.

He wants to be wanted

I posted recently about the close-up shot of Sylus's eye in Night of Secrecy, where we're shown very clearly that he's not using his power to manipulate desire.

Given that Sylus has always been percieved as a dangerous, violent creature by everyone except a select few, to be seen in a tender way is unfamiliar and vulnerable.

He wants to experience her desire in its raw, un-tampered-with state. He wants to know what she truly wants, and does not want to create a scenario where he's in some way manipulating or coercing her desire, whether using his eye or otherwise. Her genuine desire is more precious and appealing to him than mere sex.

As much as I am begggingggg for more Sylus make-out cards, I think moments like we see in Magnum Opus are far more precious to him.

A very strong piece of supporting evidence here is what he says in Approaching Dusk when MC asks how she can get him to willingly stay in her trap. He tells her that she should ask him for things, show her vulnerable side, and make him feel as though she relies on him. That is much more seductive to Sylus than physical pleasure.

What consent means to Sylus

I think the idea of getting consent can be construed in a "cover your ass" way, as in, "well, you have to do this or you're doing something wrong" so it's a "good guy" thing to do.

But, one of the things to be found within responsible kink is a much more profound appreciation for consent. To pull on the themes above, consent isn't just a box to check; it communicates genuine, vulnerable desire. It also affirms that the power exchange is wanted on both sides.

When Sylus asks for consent, he's saying, "You have power in this scenario. Are you willing to give it to me?"

It's the very fact that she can and would say 'no' that makes her 'yes' so very intoxicating and appealing to him. Even in Long Awaited Revelry, he's giving her options. It's her own greed/desire that makes her agree to his terms--not her lack of alternatives. She doesn't actually have to get the Aether Core, but she wants it enough to take risks.

Night of Secrecy

Let's dig deeper into some key dialogue in Night of Secrecy:

MC: “I told you that a hunter doesn’t like being passive.” Sylus: “Oh… so you want control… Unfortunately… I can’t give it to you. Not yet, at least.” His warm hands scorch my skin and slide up my back unhindered, settling firmly on my waist. When gripping a gun, they’re cold and unyielding, but when they touch me, they become tender and warm. And now they’re a weapon of their own, teasing and tormenting me. Sylus: “…Don’t run.” MC: “You’re… so annoying…” SYlus: “I won’t deny it. I guess you can say I lied. Tonight, you’re not the only one feeling greedy… And I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied. Ah, I misspoke. Greed can never be satisfied… But you can temporarily soothe it.” He takes my hand and places it against his chest. His voice is slow and earnest as he asks the question once more… Sylus: “Say it again. Kitten, do you want it?” My eyes linger on his, and our heart rates sync up. I lean down over him, running my fingers through his sweat-damp hair. MC: “This is my answer.”

In "And now they’re a weapon of their own, teasing and tormenting me," we see more of this indulgence in power play and power exchange. You can easily imagine Sylus challenging himself to see how slowly he can go, to focus more on MC. Him saying "Don't run" can be interpreted as MC trying to get out of his grip--not to escape him, but to accelerate the intimacy, to escape the "teasing and tormenting".

Sylus's "greed" includes taking things slowly. It includes build-up and power-play. It includes spurring on MC's own desires.

We get this really lovely back-to-back of "I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied" to “Say it again. Kitten, do you want it?”

He is greedy... for her genuine consent. He wants her to want it.

I think "I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied" is best understood as Sylus being clear to MC that he wants her too. Neither this, nor “I’m hoping ‘yes’ is still your answer because… I just can’t hold back anymore” can be construed as him pushing boundaries because MC has already explicitly invited him into that territory. I interpret the hand that she puts up to stop him as her wanting to be "on top", not as her wanting to stop or slow down, and Sylus's remarks as specifically, verbally affirming his desire for her.

Even him saying "Greed can never be satisfied…" indicates that his everyday baseline is wanting her in this way, and he's very comfortable with those desires and how to keep them in check.

Desire without entitlement

At no point does Sylus ever behave as if he's entitled to MC's affection, physical or otherwise. He always desires her, but does not have specific expectations of her. He's always asking, "so what will you do?" The fact that he doesn't know the answer is what makes the question so compelling to him.

If he wanted sex, he could get it--he's powerful enough and persuasive enough. Which makes that conquest irrelevant and boring to him. What is far, far more interesting is co-discovering MC's true desires with her, just like they did in Beyond Cloudfall.

Repression and regulation

In the way that Zayne's character represents repressed desire, Sylus's character represents regulated desire.

His desires are accepted and known, not rejected and bottled up. Thus, he's able to approach regulation in a playful way, appreciating the challenge that it provides and finding ways to express his affection and sate his desires that don't put pressure on MC.

It is because he is comfortable with his sexuality that it's able to be secondary to his primary desires with MC.

In conclusion

So, as much as I want more kiss cards for them, the writers are cooking. There's a specific point they want to make, and I think they're making it beautifully. I am constantly delighted by the complexity and nuance that the writers bring to Sylus's character.

I'm hopeful that as we see Sylus's and MC's relationship deepen, we'll see MC gain more confidence to initiate, which will then translate to more on-page and on-screen intimate moments.

And until then... there's always fanfic. 😅

#love and deepspace #lads sylus #sylus #sylus x mc #love and deepspace sylus #lads #lads lore #lads analysis #lads character analysis #love and deepspace analysis #sylus analysis #sylusmc #lnds sylus #sylus lads #sylus love and deepspace

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sdmnpact · 15 hours ago

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Would you write a Harry fic with friends to lovers after a 'would you rather' game played among friends?

Would You Rather.

Wroetoshaw x Reader ff

~~~

"Come on Y/n! It'll be just for an hour or two!" Ethan pleaded at you. He and Faith were hosting a little get together with some close friends and you being one of Ethan's best friends, well he just had to invite you. Although you love Ethan and Faith to bits and pieces, you weren't feeling up for a night out, you just wanted to sleep.

"I'm so tired though..." You whined in a cute little voice you use against Ethan to get what you want. "No, come over! I'll send an uber to your flat." He said. You tried arguing but he was relentless. You folded and said yes. He cheered excitedly and you hung up. You sighed before standing up off your bed and began getting ready.

>>>

You arrived at Ethan and Faith's house to see a few familiar faces. You already met the sidemen but you don't regularly hang out with them. You only know a couple of his and Faith's other friends as well. You made your way further into the place, looking around, there were more people here than you expected.

You looked around for Ethan but ran into Josh and Freya instead. "Oh my god, hey Y/n! It's been a minute since we've seen you! We need to hang out more often!" Freya said wrapping an arm around you. "Hey guys, of course! I've been here and there.. um have you seen Ethan?" You asked as she released you. You side hugged Josh, greeting him as well. "Oh yeah, last I've seen he was in the kitchen with Harry and George." Josh explained.

You thanked him and made your way towards the kitchen. You walked into the kitchen and saw only Harry and Ethan talking while holding beer bottles. "Oh hey guys." You said opening the fridge and pulling out a beer for yourself.

"Y/N! You made it! I'm so glad you're here!" Ethan said with a slightly slurred speech showing he's been drinking for a while now. You chuckled at him as you opened your bottle. "Yeah, only here for an hour!" You emphasized pointing at him, taking a swig of your drink. You looked towards Harry to see his eyes on you already. Once you noticed, he quickly looked away.

"Hey bog, How've you been?" You asked leaning on the counter. "Fine, just here." He responded awkwardly making you furrow your eyebrows. He's one of the only other sidemen that you're somewhat close to beside Ethan. Usually, you two are pretty comfortable with each other but you noticed that he was slightly off tonight. You chose to ignore it and nursed your beverage.

The night went on, you hung out with Ethan and Harry for a few minutes making small talk but after a while you were in desperate need of some girl talk so you went off to find literally any girl you knew.

You stumbled upon Faith talking with Talia, Freya, and Gee. You creeped up behind her startling her slightly as you placed a hand on her back. "Oh my god! Oh Y/n! I've been looking for you!! I have some hot tea for you!" Faith said excitedly grabbing your hands. "Ethan told me that Harry fancies you." She said whispering the last part. You eyes went wide as you couldn't believe the words that just left her mouth.

"No way- when did he say that because I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of his mouth tonight." You shriek taking a large chug of your beer. He can't fancy you. You two are just good friends.

"He told me earlier in the afternoon. Y/n, I think Harry's been feeling this type of way for a while now. Although, I don't think much can be done since Ethan won't let you date him." Her words left you confused. What would Ethan have to do with your dating life?

"What do you mean?"

"He's done it before and he would definitely be hesitant to let you near Harry like that." She said. Now you were very confused.

"When?" You asked.

"Remember John? That fellow who you met once at our last party?" You nodded. "Well, he asked about you to Ethan and wanted to know if you were single which Ethan told him that you had a boyfriend, which you in fact did not."

John? You were absolutely smitten with that guy! You met him at their party and you two spent the entire night dancing, laughing, and just talking about anything. You really fancied him and thought he fancied you. You gave him your number and told him to call, yet he never did.

You wondered why he never called. You thought you two hit it off well. Now you've learned that one of your best friends basically cockblocked you. You were fuming, to say the least. You couldn't believe he did that. Why would he even do that in the first place? You're definitely going to have a long conversation about this with Ethan later. Your mind was spiraling with these thoughts when a familiar giddy, slightly slurred voice came over.

"Hey! Do you lot wanna play would you rather?" Ethan asked leaning on Harry for support. Both their cheeks were flushed but Harry didn't seem that drunk. Maybe his cheeks were flushed for a different reason?

"Oh? Sounds fun!" Freya cheered. You sighed deeply as the group made their way towards the dining room. The whole party wasn't joining you guys, it was just the small group of friends you had thought would have made up the party.

You sat directly across from Harry. He smiled at you as you made eye contact. You have to admit, you did find him especially attractive. He was funny, charming, and always so nice to you. Your attention was drawn to Ethan who sat at the end of the table as he began talking.

"Okay! We'll spin this bottle for turns." He said pulling out an empty beer bottle, placing it in the center of the table. "I'll go first!" He cheered spinning the bottle. You all watched in anticipation as the bottle spun around slowly coming to a stop in front of Josh. "Oooh yay!" He laughed awkwardly.

"Alright would you rather eat a dog or get eaten by a dog?" Ethan asked as you all laughed at the ridiculous question. "What is this question!?" Josh shrieked laughing. "Um I guess I would eat a dog?" He said unsure of his answer as he furrowed his eyebrows together. "I couldn't think of a good question on the spot." Ethan admitted as you laughed at his words.

"Okay now you spin!" He said as Josh reached for the bottle. You watched it spin again as it landed on Faith. "Okay, would you rather... be able to reverse time or speed it up?"

"Can we stop with these childish questions!? How about we ask some raunchier ones?" Talia suggested as everyone seemed to make noises in agreement. "Okay okay- would you rather watch a couple kiss for five minutes straight or watch a graphic sex scene with your parents?" Josh said through a fit of laughter. "Eww Josh. Um, if I had to choose, I would rather watch some couple kiss for five minutes." She said taking a sip from her wine glass. She grabbed the bottle and spun. You watched as it went around a couple times, slowing down in pace, landing straight on you.

"Ooo fun! Okay Y/n, would you rather... kiss Harry or would you rather kiss your celebrity crush?" She said giving you a little wink. Your eyes widen as those words left her mouth. You looked over at Harry to see his cheeks and ears as red as a tomato. He looked at you with anticipation fiddling with his fingers evidently nervous about your choice.

You looked towards Ethan and saw his expression change from carefree to worried. "I think, I would rather kiss Harry." You said shyly, a smile falling upon your lips. You watched as Harry's shoulders fell with relief. 'Ooo' noises filled the room as all the blood rushed towards your cheeks. You chuckled at that and told them to knock it off. Harry shot you a cheeky smile as you felt your heart begin to flutter.

You guys played a few more rounds with the bottle eventually landing on Harry. His question was a spicy one asking about whether he would would rather give or receive head. Since so much more time had passed, both of you were slightly drunker and with this drunken filled confidence, he looked you dead in the eyes and said 'I would rather give head.' You felt yourself melt at those words and the way he looked into your eyes.

Everyone 'ooo'd again like children with Faith sending you a smirk and Ethan sending Harry daggers. You rolled your eyes at Ethan and turned your attention back to the game.

As the night continued, you all eventually stopped playing and just mingled about. You were currently sat on the couch listening to some random conversation just vibing when Harry came over and sat next to you.

"Hey Y/n, you enjoying yourself?" he asked taking a swig of his beer. You nodded your head doing the same. "You wanna, go for a walk?" He asked hoping you'd say yes. You agreed and the two of you made your way outside. It was the country, so there was just a long stretch of road to walk down which was perfect for two people who basically couldn't walk straight.

You two clung onto each other for support as you made your way down the pathway to the road. "Where you lot going?" You heard from the doorway. You turned to face Ethan holding the door open. "Just for a walk, we'll be back soon." You said. "Well- be careful, it's dark out here!" He urged and you nodded pulling your phone out and turning on the flashlight. "Happy?" You asked waving the light at him. He groaned and went back inside.

You took a step forward when the door opened again. "You better take care of her Bog." Ethan warned Harry. "Of course mate, we'll just be here." Harry responded as Ethan gave him an unsure look and went back inside.

You two made your way down the road walking slowly and carefully. "So, how've you been lately. I haven't seen much of you." He began. "Yeah, I've been pretty busy." You replied. "Well, I was hoping to see you tonight actually." He said nervously. You stopped in your tracks causing him to almost stumble over. You grabbed him making sure he wouldn't fall.

"Really? Why?" You asked curiously. "I don't know, I just wanted to see you." He said with a small chuckle. "Well you didn't want to just see me for no reason..." You trailed off. He reached for your hand. "I think I like you." He finally blurted out. "I think I like you and have for a while. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to get Ethan upset." He explained. "Ethan has nothing to do with anything." You said, upset that this was coming up again.

"I told him I thought you were cute and he did not like that at all. But I don't care anymore, I see you around and I want to be with you. You're so funny and sweet and smart and so, so beautiful." He said looking down slightly embarrassed that he expressed himself so much.

"You really think all that about me?" You asked feeling a warmth inside you. "Yeah. I know we haven't gotten to know each other well but every time we're together, we have the best time and you're just so down to earth, always making funny jokes or just being amazing." He said looking into your eyes. The moonlight shimmered down on you two bringing a sparkle to your eyes that made him swoon.

"Well, if I'm being honest here. You are really great to be around too. You always have the funniest things to say and I love your random airplane disaster facts." You chuckled remembering all the random times he would bring up his odd interest. "I'm glad you like 'em. Everyone always tells me I'm annoying about it." He said with a breathy laugh.

"Not to me." You said taking a step closer, your faces inches apart from one another. "Kiss me." You said pulling on his shirt bringing your bodies even closer. He placed a hand on your chin and leaned forward, closing the gap between you, placing his soft lips upon yours.

It felt like fireworks were going off with the touch of his lips on yours. He placed a hand on your lower back bringing you closer as if the nonexistent gap between you was still too far. He's been dreaming about this for weeks. You clouded his mind for a while now and he could no longer handle being apart from you.

This 'forbidden' romance only made him lust for you more and tonight he finally decided to make you his, if you'd have him.

He pulled away as you two just laughed at the sudden turn this night took. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" He asked making sure to properly make you his. "I'd love to." You responded.

The two of you continued your walk down the moonlit road, hand in hand. You spoke of anything and everything desperately hoping this night would never end. Eventually, you two made your way back towards the house.

You two were out there for so long that basically everyone had left and it was only Josh, Freya, and Gee that were there helping clean up. Ethan rushed up to you with a worried expression. "Why were you guys out there for so long? You've been gone for three hours!" He exclaimed making your eyes go wide. You didn't realize how much time had passed.

"It didn't seem like three hours." You replied nonchalantly throwing a smile at Harry as he squeezed your hand lightly. "What's this about?" Ethan asked pointing towards your interlocked hands. "I like her mate. I told you I did and I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I think she likes me too." Harry told him looking at you for reassurance. "I do, I really do." You said cheerfully wrapping your arm around his.

"You two like each other then?" Ethan questioned as both of you nodded. "Well, you know what. Okay then, I'm happy for the two of you." He said with a smile hugging both of you. You looked over his shoulder to see Faith giving you, two thumbs up with a huge smile on her face.

"But, Bog, I swear if you hurt her, I'm going to mess you up." Ethan warned as he pulled back turning his attention towards Harry. "Oh mate, I promise. I would never." He replied looking at you as you smiled up at him.

"Well! This is great news! Let's plan for a triple date soon!" Faith interjected easing the tension Ethan held. You spent the rest of the night at their house with Harry in their living room just chatting away.

A night that felt too short.

~~~

A/n

I hope you enjoyed this one! I think it's kind of adorable. Sorry about making Ethan seem so protective but I was going for a Ross finding out his sister and best friend were dating type of vibe. Also, I watched pride and prejudice yesterday and the moonlit walk bit was slightly inspired by the end of the movie.

#wroetoshaw #harry lewis #harry lewis fic #wroetoshaw x reader #w2s #fanfic #sidemen #sdmnpact

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candycandy00 · 3 days ago

Text

Once Upon a Time - A Higuruma x Reader Fanfic Part 1

Retold fairytales featuring the JJK men! This is The Little Mermaid featuring Higuruma! You’re a mermaid obsessed with the human world, and in love with one particular human: the lawyer named Higuruma. You make a deal with the sea witch to become human, but you only have three days to win his love!

Read Gojo x Cinderella Here!

Read Sukuna x Sleeping Beauty here!

Read Choso x Rapunzel Here!

Read Toji x Snow White Here!

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. AU. Reader is a mermaid. Reader becomes mute. Light violence. Oral sex.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @drizztdohurtin!

The water gets warmer as you swim upwards, toward the light of the sun. You accidentally disturb a school of small fish, stopping to apologize even though they don’t understand your language. You hurry on, afraid you might be too late today.

If only your sisters hadn’t delayed you. “Stop going to the surface!” they told you. They’re always scolding you, always giving you cryptic warnings about humans. They don’t understand. They’ve only come to the surface of the sea a handful of times between them, and you’ve come hundreds of times in the past year. You pride yourself in knowing more about humans than any other merfolk.

You break the surface of the water, feeling the glorious sun on your face. You only bask in its warmth for a few seconds before swimming over to the island, to the long wooden structures the humans call “docks”. There, it’s easy to hide beneath the boards and peek up at the people moving about on their lovely legs.

But there’s one human in particular you’ve come to see. Every day he’s here at the docks for while, walking around, talking to various people.

You dart around under the water, coming up every so often to look around for him. It takes only a few minutes to find him, standing on one of the wooden structures, talking to an aging human man. You swim over quickly to hide beneath his feet and listen to his conversation.

“I can’t thank you enough, Mr. Higuruma,” the older man is saying.

“I’m just doing my job,” Higuruma, your favorite human, replies. “That contract was clearly predatory. I’m glad I could get it voided for you.”

“You don’t think the Russo family will retaliate, do you? My wife is afraid they’ll burn down our shop.”

Higuruma pats the old man on the back. “Don’t worry. They’ve never targeted any of my past clients. They try to work within the system to exploit people with their contracts, but I don’t know of them ever using violence. Besides, if they were going to go after anyone, it would be me.”

The old man seems comforted by this, but then says, “You be careful, Mr. Higuruma. You’ve helped a lot of people since you came here. We don’t want to lose you.”

Wait. Lose him? Does that mean he’s in danger? Your heart begins to race at the very thought. You couldn’t bear it if something happened to him!

He showed up on the island a little over a year ago, and you were instantly intrigued. He seemed so different from the other humans who lived on the island. He wore strange clothing, long black pants and a white shirt with buttons that looked far too clean. The islanders wore colorful shorts and tops. He seemed to struggle with the heat, making you wonder what sort of land he came from.

Higuruma seemed more serious than the other humans you observed. He often looked troubled as he walked around the docks, talking to the various people there. He talked about contracts a lot, and you often heard words like “predatory” and “illegal”.

From listening to his conversations everyday, you gathered that some people on the island called “the Russo family” are hurting other people on the island with their contracts. Higuruma is some kind of expert, and he came here to help people get out of these bad contracts.

Everyday he‘s here, trying to help people. Once you understood that, your admiration for him only grew. And over the past year, you’ve completely fallen for him.

You stare up through the cracks in the wood. He’s apparently already been here for a while today, as he’s already rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and undone the first three buttons at his collar. He wipes his brow with the back of his hand as he continues talking.

Ah, he’s so handsome! Even when he looks like he might wilt in the sun. At your age, you should have already chosen a mate, and if Higuruma were merfolk, you would choose him in a heartbeat.

Or, even better, if you were human…

No, that can never be. It’s something you dreamt of as a child, always wishing you could walk onto the shore and dance with the smiling islanders, that you could live in the sun.

Higuruma stops speaking mid sentence, and you realize he’s looking straight down. You freeze, staring up at his lovely dark eyes. Can he see you? Impossible! The crack is so tiny! Just in case, you duck back under the water.

With a casual wave, Higuruma walks away from his client on the dock, his footsteps making the wood creak. After getting back on the sandy shore, he glances back, at the space beneath the dock.

Since coming to the island, he’s consistently had the feeling that he’s being watched. He at first thought it might be someone from the Russo family keeping tabs on him, but over time the strange feeling has become oddly comforting. He senses no hostility at all. Quite the opposite in fact.

Just now on the dock, he thought he saw movement through the cracks in the wood. Was it just the water? He shakes his head to banish the thoughts. Right now, he needs to focus on his work. He has a very important case.

A young family of four was targeted by the Russos, tricked into signing a contract that would give the Russos nearly complete control over their little upstart bait shop. They’d been naive, thinking the Russos would support them financially until their shop got started, in exchange for a cut of the profits. They expected a fair deal.

What they got was the Russos controlling everything they did and taking over half the money, long after the shop became popular on the island. Higuruma has spent the past week reading and rereading the contract at night, looking for mistakes or loopholes. He thinks he’s found one, and will present his case before a judge tomorrow.

He walks through the town, saying his hellos to the people who greet him warmly, and heads straight to his favorite spot on the island.

On the west side, there’s an old abandoned dock. The small beach there is rarely used by anyone, making it seem like a private piece of paradise. For Higuruma, it’s his “thinking spot”.

The sea breeze is warm on his face as he steps out from the line of palm trees, stopping for a moment to take off his shoes and roll up his pant legs. The sound of the waves lapping at the shore is rhythmic and soothing as he walks toward the water’s edge.

He sits down in the sand, at the precise spot where the water will slide up to wet his feet but go no further, leaving his clothes dry. To his left is the shabby dock, its wood heavily damaged by age and weather.

With a sigh, he leans his head back, looking up at the pink-tinted sky. It’s almost sundown, the time when he should be at home preparing for the hearing. But he needs these little moments of peace to keep himself from getting burnt out. He doesn’t want a repeat of what happened on the mainland.

After a few minutes, he raises his head and glances out over the shimmering water…

And sees a woman staring at him.

He blinks, rubs his tired eyes, and looks again. Now there’s no one in the water. Is he imagining things? If so, his imagination is more vivid than he thought. The woman was waist deep in the sea, and quite beautiful.

He’s had this particular daydream before, thinking he’s seen a woman watching him from the water. But she always disappears so fast, he can only assume it’s an illusion, a trick of the light reflecting off the sea.

Higuruma stands up and dusts himself off. He looks at the dock and wonders if he could get a better view of the spot he saw the woman if he walks out on the boards. How sturdy is this old dock? Surely it would be blocked off if it’s a major safety hazard, right?

Walking carefully, he makes his way to the end of the dock and looks out over the sea, squinting his eyes against the glimmering sun on the waves. Seeing nothing, he sighs again, feeling foolish. As he starts to turn back, he hears the wood creaking behind him.

“Hey, you’re that lawyer Higuruma, right?”

He turns to see four large men walking toward him on the dock. None of them are familiar, and none of them look friendly. So the Russo family finally decided to make a move.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he says nonchalantly. “Why? Do you guys need some legal advice?”

The men glance at each other, but keep walking toward him. Higuruma knows how this will play out. They’ll threaten him or rough him up, try to intimidate him into dropping the various cases he has lined up against the Russos. He’s never been the best fighter, always relying on his intelligence to get him out of trouble, but he’s not exactly a weakling either. If there were only two of them, he might have a shot at getting away unscathed. But there’s four, and they’re all considerably bigger than him.

No point trying to run, not on this dock. Might as well take whatever they plan to give then.

To his surprise, none of them try to talk to him at all. No threats, no demands, they simply begin punching him. He takes three hits to the face. From the same guy? From three different ones? He doesn’t know because he shut his eyes after the first.

He feels a kick to his knee, taking him down, then several kicks to his gut, knocking the wind out of him. While he’s gasping for air, one of them shoves him off the dock and into the water.

Higuruma can swim, but he’s never been especially great at it, and he’s never had to immediately after taking a beating, when he’s already struggling to breathe.

He feels the waves tossing him about, at one point slamming him into one of the dock’s support beams. His mouth inadvertently opens, and sea water rushes in. That’s when he blacks out.

When he wakes up again, he’s lying on his back on the shore. It’s nearly night, dark enough to obscure the person leaning over him. It’s a woman. The same one he’s been seeing in the water, and he can just make out enough of her facial features to see that she wears a worried expression.

“Who… are you?” he croaks out, his throat raw from the salt water.

She doesn’t speak a word, only moves away from him, so quickly that by the time he manages to sit up, she’s no longer in sight. Where the hell did she even go?

He rubs the back of his head, checking for bumps or injuries. His face and stomach are sore, but nothing else seems to be damaged.

She saved him, didn’t she?

You swim away at top speed, your heart hammering in your chest. You touched him! You let him see you!

Interacting with humans, under any circumstances, is strictly forbidden! But when you saw him being hurt and falling into the water, you couldn’t stop yourself from helping him.

It’ll be alright! He’ll probably just think he was confused or half dreaming. He almost drowned after all. There’s no way he’ll remember you.

You stop suddenly, letting the gentle currents carry you. He’ll forget you. He’ll think you were a figment of his imagination. You know this is how it should be, how it has to be, but the thought still makes tears come to your eyes, leaking out to blend in with the sea.

How you wish you could be human, so that you could run onto the shore and greet him, tell him how much you admire him, how much you want him to be your mate.

Feeling a bit raw and emotional, you begin swimming again, eager to get back home. Until you’re stopped by two young mermen, twins with dark hair who look to be in their late teens.

“We saw what you did,” one of them says, his face completely devoid of expression.

“What?” you ask, pretending not to know what he’s talking about. If he did see, and tells anyone, you could be in big trouble with your father.

“You saved a human,” the other twin says in an equally flat and creepy way.

You frown at them. “I just dragged him to shore. He would’ve died.”

The two of them swim closer, circling around you. “Even if we see a human child fall in the water, we’re forbidden from helping.”

The other one chimes in, “Too much risk of humans discovering our existence. That’s your father’s rule, isn’t it?”

You look back and forth between them. Clearly they’re threatening to report this to your father. “What do you want from me?”

They exchange glances. “Us? We want nothing,” one of them says.

“But you clearly want something,” the other adds. “That human man, perhaps?”

You look down sadly. “It doesn’t matter what I want. I can’t have it. I’ve made peace with that.”

“Have you?”

“Have you really given up on your dream?”

Your eyes shift back to their blank faces. “What choice do I have? He’s human. I’m merfolk. We live in different worlds.”

They finally smile, both of them at the same time. “Oh, you have a choice,” they say in eerie unison. “Come see our grandmother.”

“Grandmother?” you ask, confused.

One twin swims close enough to touch you, his fin brushing past yours. “People call her the sea witch.”

“But she helps those in need,” the second twin says.

Oh. You’ve heard of her. “For a price,” you add.

They both nod. “For a price.”

You would give anything to be human, to live in that world with Higuruma, but you’ve heard horrible tales of the sea witch tricking people into losing the things they most value. Still, you’ve also heard stories of people being satisfied with whatever deal she proposed.

“How can she help me?” you ask. What you want is impossible. Surely it’s beyond even her power.

“Come and see,” they say.

You only give it a moment of thought before you agree, then swim behind them as they lead you to the witch.

They take you to a sea cave, so deep and dark that you can barely see them swimming in front of you. The water is cold here, much colder than you’re used to, and there’s no current at all, making the sea feel almost dead here.

As you swim further into the cave, you begin to see light ahead. Little bits of seashells are strung along the top of the cave, lit by some strange magic. It’s beautiful to behold, if a bit ominous.

There in the deepest part of the cave floats an older mermaid with an unusually colored fin - a violet color that shimmers, reflecting the strange light. She’s staring at you as if she’s been waiting for your arrival, as if she’s known all along that her twin grandsons would convince you to come.

“You’re the sea witch?” you ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, and you’re one of the king’s daughters,” she says, her voice having a bizarre echo in the cave.

“I was told you can help me,” you say, eager to get to the point.

She swims closer, and at this distance you can see her eyes more clearly. They’re absolutely haunting, large but empty and devoid of color. “I can help you help yourself. I can give you the tools you need to make your dream come true.”

You draw back reflexively. “You don’t even know what my dream is.”

“To be human,” she says. “To live with that man you saved.”

How does she know about that? The twins didn’t have time to tell her. Still…

“Can you help me?”

She smiles. “Of course I can. I can transform your fin into human legs. After that, it will be your job to win the human man’s heart.”

You’ve already decided to take her deal, no matter what she wants of you. But just as a formality, you ask, “What’s the price?”

“Your voice, nothing more.”

That’s a surprising request. It will certainly hinder you in winning Higuruma’s heart, if you can’t even communicate with him. But love will find a way.

“It’s yours,” you tell her.

The sea witch grins. “Excellent! If you’ll just sign this contract, the deal will be finalized.”

“Contract?”

She holds up something, a glowing square that looks like a piece of paper humans write on. Words appear across it, and you read over them.

“I understand that I have three days to make the human man fall in love with me. During this time, I will have human legs while surrendering my voice. If I succeed, I will become human permanently and regain my voice. If I fail, I will lose my human legs and my voice will become the permanent property of the Sea Witch. This agreement exists so long as my signature is on this contract.”

Ah, so you’ll either gain everything or lose everything. You’re willing to take that gamble!

“How will I know for sure that I’ve succeeded?” you ask the witch as you take then pen she holds out for you.

“With this,” she says, holding out a pendant in her other hand. It’s shaped like a heart, made of crystal, with golden trim. “As the human’s affection for you grows, the heart will turn red. Once it is completely full, you have won his love.”

You take the pendant, attached to a chain, and pull it over your head to wear as a necklace. Then you sign your name to the contract.

The “paper” rolls into a scroll, and you take it as well. This is all done by magic, so you assume you’re bound to the terms regardless.

“Take this,” the witch says, holding out a small glass bottle. “When you’re ready, drink this and your body will transform. At that time, you will lose your voice. I recommend getting close to the shore beforehand.”

You accept the bottle and swim away without another word, in a hurry to be away from this creepy place.

You don’t drink the potion right away. Doing so would be foolish. Instead you spend the next day with your sisters, etching their faces and their voices in your mind. If all goes well, you’ll never see them again. That thought stings a little, as you do love them dearly, but you would never expect one of them to give up on her lifelong dream for your sake. So you won’t give up yours for them.

When it gets close to sundown, you quietly slip away and swim for the surface, then head for the usually empty beach where you see Higuruma alone almost every day. You envision drinking the potion, gaining legs, and standing there at the beach waiting for him. It’ll be difficult to introduce yourself without your voice, but you’ll figure out how to convey your thoughts. He’s very smart, and should be able to understand you.

You reach the shore and look around. It’s deserted as you expected. Higuruma should arrive soon, so you sit at the edge of the water and pull out the potion. The pendant is hanging from your neck, and the rolled up contract is in your free hand.

The potion shimmers when you hold the bottle up to the sun. You take a deep breath, then bring the bottle to your lips, downing the contents in one gulp.

You feel it immediately, a savage pain radiating from your waist down to the tips of your fin. You collapse onto your back as waves of agony tear through you, as if your fin is being ripped in two. The witch never told you it would hurt so bad!

With a gasp, you roll over, trying to crawl back to the sea. Something is wrong! She must have tricked you! But before you can reach the water, a stab of pain so intense that you think you’re dying shoots through your fin. You scream loudly, but the sound cuts off midway, leaving only silent horror as your voice disappears.

After that, you pass out on the beach.

Higuruma walks solemnly through town on his familiar path, his black jacket slung over his shoulder, barely looking up when people greet him as usual.

His case didn’t go well today. The judge, who was always very fair before, was suddenly harsh and unsympathetic. Did the Russos get to him? It was a little suspicious that the judge had zero reaction to Higuruma’s black eye. Almost like he was expecting it.

Seeing the disappointment and defeat on the faces of his young clients was the worst part. It reminded him a little too much of other faces, from other cases.

He doesn’t plan to give up. There’s more than one judge on the island. But right now, he just wants to go to his private little spot, breathe in the sea breeze, watch the sunset, and forget all about today for those precious few minutes.

There’s a thick line of palm trees and flowering shrubs that mark the edge of town, a line he must pass through to reach the old dock. He’s halfway through it when he hears a terrible scream.

Was that a woman? It sounded like it came from the beach! Surely the Russos aren’t attacking random women there now!

Higuruma breaks into a run, tearing through the trees as fast as he can, ignoring the shrub branches catching on his crisp white shirt.

When he reaches the beach, he quickly spots a figure lying at the water’s edge. He rushes over, and is shocked to find a completely naked woman. He drapes his jacket over her and squats down, worried that she might have been assaulted.

“Miss?” he asks, gently turning her so that she’s not face down in the sand. He doesn’t see any injuries, but she appears to be unconscious. Around her neck is a strange pendant, and in her hand is a rolled up piece of paper.

He pulls the paper from her grasp, thinking it might be a clue to her identity or what happened to her. The first thing he notices is the bizarre texture of the “paper”. It doesn’t feel like paper at all. And the ink is even stranger. But most perplexing of all are the words written there.

It’s a contract. But not a single word of it makes any sense. Trading voices for legs? Three days to make someone fall in love? It must be some sort of fantasy game she’s playing with someone.

He rolls it back up and slips it into his pocket, then starts to pick her up so that he can carry her to the clinic in town. But just as he begins to touch her, she suddenly sits up.

Higuruma is so surprised he falls back on his ass in the sand beside her. She looks around, then her eyes fall on him. They go wide, and then all at once she’s waving and making gestures in an excited fashion.

“Hey, calm down, I’ll help you, okay?” he says, getting back to a more dignified position on his knees. “First of all, are you hurt?”

She stares at him blankly for a moment, then shakes her head.

“Can you tell me your name?”

If he can figure out who she is, he can take her to her family.

She shakes her head again, then points to her mouth before shaking it once more.

“You can’t speak?”

She nods.

Well that’s going to make this a bit more challenging. Yes or no questions only.

“Do you live in town?”

No.

“Do you live on this island?”

No.

“Where did you come from?” Shit, that’s not a yes or no question!

Before he can rephrase, she stretches out her arm and points to the water.

… Huh? She’s from the sea? At that moment, looking back at her face, he realizes she’s familiar. She looks like the woman who saved him yesterday, the woman he’s glimpsed watching him from the water. Is this her?

No, it can’t be. She just coincidentally resembles the person who saved him, if that person even exists. He was pretty groggy when he woke up on the beach, and he’s been stressed out lately.

“You mean you come from another island?” he asks, thinking that must be why she pointed that direction.

She hesitates for a moment, then nods.

He wonders how she ended up here, naked on the beach. Then an unlikely but theoretically possible idea hits him. “Did you just wash up here? Did you fall off a ship?”

Again, she hesitates before giving a nod.

That would certainly explain a lot. If she was trying to swim to shore, a heavy dress would have been a major impediment. Of course she’d pull it off to survive.

Still, she seems awfully fine with being nude. She still has his jacket draped over her, but it’s slipped down enough to bare more skin than most women would be comfortable showing to a stranger. He’s been trying to avoid staring out of politeness, but it’s getting hard to ignore the lovely breasts peeking out, especially when she’s making zero effort to cover them up.

He stands up and he holds his hand out to her. “Let’s get you to the clinic so they can check you over, make sure you’re not injured.”

She takes his hand quickly, an excited smile on her pretty face. He can’t help finding the gesture very charming.

Just as he pulls her to her feet, her smiling face twists in agony and she crumples against him. He instinctively wraps his arms around her to keep her from falling.

“Hey, are you alright? Are your legs hurt?” he asks, thinking she might have a broken ankle or some other type of injury that would be difficult to spot.

She clutches his shirt in her hands and shakes her head no again, then looks up at him and smiles. What was that about?

He’s suddenly aware that he’s holding a beautiful naked woman in his arms, and he feels heat spreading over his face. He’s feeling something else too, and hopes to god she doesn’t notice. This is definitely not an appropriate situation to be horny!

“We need to get you some clothes,” he says. “You can’t just walk through town like this. If you’ll wait here, I can go get you some-“

She grabs his shirt again and shakes her head, looking alarmed.

“You don’t want me to leave you?” he asks.

She nods quickly.

He supposes that makes sense. She’s probably afraid to be alone after what she’s been through.

“The clinic is in the middle of town though,” he says, wondering how to navigate this situation. She’s still clinging to him, and he gets the impression she’ll fall if he lets her go. Maybe her muscles are cramping from swimming for so long.

“I guess I could take you to my place and let you wear something of mine. I live on the outskirts so maybe no one will see you.”

She smiles brightly then, and nods. His jacket has almost completely fallen off her, so he readjusts it for her, wondering why he’s trying so hard to guard her modesty when she seems totally disinterested in it.

Probably because he’s trying very hard to remain a gentleman.

She hangs onto his arm and leans against him as he helps her head through the tree line, toward his small house.

There are two feelings dominating your very being at this moment: elation at being so close to Higuruma and the utter torment of walking on these human legs.

You had no idea they would hurt so bad. Do all humans endure this pain? No, you’ve watched them for years. You’ve never seen any indication that they feel pain while standing or walking. If so, how could they run and dance? Maybe it’s because yours are so new, or because they’re made from magic. You seriously hope the pain will subside after a while.

But even if it doesn’t, you have no intention of giving up. You’ll take any pain if it means being human.

You love leaning on Higuruma, feeling his warm body against yours, smelling his scent, hearing his voice so close to your ear. It seems so strange to have him looking straight at you after all this time of trying to avoid his gaze.

He keeps talking about getting you clothes. You’ve observed humans enough to know that they cover their bodies, but you’ve never understood why. It’s just now dawning on you that being unclothed must be shameful to them. It makes you feel a little embarrassed.

You know for a fact that humans take off their clothes to mate. You’ve seen them do it on the beach late at night when they thought they were alone. You’ve watched in amazement as couples join together, moaning and gasping in pleasure.

Merfolk do not mate in that way, but they are very free with their affection for those they love. Mating is a completely different process, less intimate, though done with great love. You’ve always wanted to try mating like humans do, despite not having the ability to do so until now.

There is one intimate act you could have done before, that you witnessed at the beach one night. A human woman got on her knees in front of her mate, opened his pants, and used her mouth to pleasure his mating organ.

You watched breathlessly, growing heated even in the water, entranced by how much they both seemed to enjoy it.

After that, you began to fantasize about swimming up to Higuruma while he sat on the dock and doing that with him. It was still an impossible dream, as doing so would require you to reveal yourself, but you could at least clearly imagine it.

Now, as you struggle through the pain to walk while staying pressed against him, those fantasies are coming to the front of your mind.

He stops at a human dwelling, a small wooden structure with only a few similar structures around it. The sun has completely set, but there’s still enough light to see the faded white paint on the exterior and the cracked blue door. After opening it, Higuruma helps you inside.

You’ve never been inside a human home before, so you’re finding it very difficult to act calm. It’s so warm inside! Higuruma helps you over to some sort of large, soft seat and then begins turning lights on. You’ve seen the pretty artificial lights humans make, but you didn’t realize they have so many!

As you look around in wonder, Higuruma disappears through a door. He returns carrying some clothes.

“I don’t really own a lot of casual clothes,” he says as he hands the folded items to you. “I hope you don’t mind a T-shirt and boxers. I promise they’re clean.”

You recognize the term “shirt” from listening to humans for so long, but you don’t think you’ve heard “boxers” before. You unfold the two pieces of clothing and look them over. The “boxers” are apparently shorts. These are blue with red circular spots all over them. So he does have some colorful clothes! You wonder why you’ve never seen him in them before as you carefully stand up, trying hard not to let him see you wincing.

He quickly turns his back to you. “Let me know if you need help. Uh, just bang on the coffee table or something to get my attention.”

You’ve seen humans dressing and undressing before, so you think you know how to do it. The only problem is keeping your balance on your new, painful feet. You sit back down and pull the shorts over one foot, then the other.

Soon you’re dressed, feeling more human than ever. You wish you could find a reflective surface to look at, so you could see yourself in clothes. Will you look more appealing to Higuruma this way?

You need to let him know you’re finished, so you take the few agonizing steps over to him and tap on his shoulder with your fingers.

He turns, looks you up and down, and his face becomes slightly pink. “Uh, we should get you to the clinic, have a doctor look you over. I’m concerned about your legs.”

Doctor? Oh no. A human doctor might be able to tell you’re not human yourself. You shake your head, trying to motion with your arms that you don’t want to go.

Higuruma looks confused for a moment, then hurries into another room and comes back with a pen and some sort of block of paper. He hands them to you.

Human pens are different from what you use, but the writing system is the same. You write out the words, “No doctor. Please.”

He reads them and looks back at you. “Are you sure? You seem to be hurt.”

You shake your head and write, “Just tired.”

He seems uneasy, but eventually says, “Okay. No doctor. Is there someone I can call for you? Family?”

You think for a moment, then write, “No family. Can I stay with you?”

His eyes move over the words, then shift to your face. “I guess you could stay here tonight,” he says, making you smile. Then he taps the paper with one finger and says, “Can you tell me your name?”

You write it down for him and he reads it out loud. Hearing him say your name makes you feel giddy.

“I’m Higuruma Hiromi,” he says. “Nice to meet you.”

You decide to write something else on the paper: “Thank you for helping me!”

He gives you a subtle smile. “You’re welcome. Are you okay with sleeping on the couch? I can get you a blanket.”

He’s gestured toward the large soft seat. So this is a couch? It certainly looks comfortable to sleep on. You nod and he steps out again, returning with what he called a “blanket”. It’s a big, soft piece of fabric. Oh! This must be something you cover yourself with to stay warm at night!

“I have some work to do before going to bed, so I’ll be awake for a while. If you need anything, let me know. Feel free to eat or drink anything you like.”

You really don’t want him to leave, so you hurriedly write something and then tap his shoulder to stop him.

“What kind of work?” your note reads.

“Oh, I’m a lawyer,” he says. “I specialize in contracts. I have several cases coming up soon so I’m going over some notes.” He pauses, then reaches into his pocket. “That reminds me, you were holding this when I found you. I know it’s just pretend, but in my professional opinion, you got a bad deal.”

In his hand is the rolled up contract you have with the sea witch. You take it, feeling panic rise in your heart. He read it?! Then he knows everything? Wait… he said it was pretend. So he thinks it’s not real…

You smile and nod, trying to seem normal about it, but you’re so distracted that you fail to stop him when he turns to walk out again. Left alone in the room, you sit back down on the couch. You pull the pendant from beneath the shirt you’re wearing and look at it.

There’s a tiny little speck of red at the bottom! He’s starting to like you!

After sitting on the couch for a while, you grow restless. You’re very aware of your time limit ticking down. You want to win his love right now! But even more than that, you just want to be with him. Would he be bothered if you go to him now? He said he’s working, but you don’t mind watching him work.

Gathering your courage, you stand up and make your way through the room, toward the door he went through. You’re getting more accustomed to moving around on these legs. They still hurt, but the pain has become more bearable.

When you reach the door, you’re not sure how to open it. He turned the knob on the first door to get into the house. Does that work for this one as well? You put one hand on it and use the same twisting motion he used. It worked!

The door slides open and you get your first view of what must be his private room. The lights are dim, only a small one on a stick with some sort of fabric covering it, sitting on a small table. Higuruma himself is sitting in a chair at this table, several pieces of paper scattered across it. He looks up at you as you cross into the room.

There’s a flicker of surprise on his face, and you notice for the first time how tired he looks. He turns in his chair and says, “Do you need something?”

You wish you could shout, “Yes! I need you!” Unfortunately that’s impossible right now. How can you express your affection for him?

You walk over to him and put one hand on his shoulder. His eyes flick to your hand and back to your face. He scoots the chair back from the table and starts to get up, but you press lightly on his shoulder to stop him. Then you slowly lower yourself to your knees, just as you saw the human woman do it on the beach that night.

His eyes widen. “What are you doing?” he asks, his voice almost a whisper. He makes no move to stop you.

You stare up at him, hoping he can see the desire on your face. Your hands rest on his thighs, gently nudging them apart.

“You don’t have to do this,” he tells you, perhaps thinking you feel indebted to him for helping you.

You look at the table full of papers behind you. There’s a pen there as well. You grab it and hastily write, “I want to” on one of the papers.

His face is slightly pink again. He swallows, then asks, “Are you sure?”

You nod emphatically.

He hesitates, seems to be thinking it over, then sighs and mutters, “Fuck it, I’ve had a long day.” Then he opens his pants and pulls out his mating organ.

Your eyes shine as you look at it. You’ve imagined it so many times, dreamed of touching it, tasting it, feeling it, that you can’t suppress your excitement.

You reach out one hand and curl your fingers around the warm, meaty rod. It grows bigger and harder under your touch, surprising you with its size.

This is new territory for you, but you remember that woman on the beach and decide to mimic her actions. You lean forward and give a tentative lick, right across the tip, then slide your tongue along the length, tasting his salty skin and leaving a trail of your saliva. After that, you take as much of it as possible into your mouth.

Higuruma inhales sharply, his hands on the sides of his chair, as you begin sliding your lips up and down the shaft. Ah, this is what you’ve fantasized about for so long! Having him in your mouth is making your whole body feel hot. There’s a strange dampness between your legs, a sensation you’ve never felt before. Is this what arousal is like for humans?

Your tongue rubs the underside of him as you push your head forward, letting his tip hit the back of your throat. One of his hands leaves the chair to rest on your head, his fingers gently threading through your hair. He’s enjoying it! You lift your eyes to look up at him while you pull back slightly, lapping at the fluid that’s leaking from the tip.

His eyes meet yours, his breaths coming more quickly. You lick your lips then wrap them around him, tightening them at his base. You hear a quiet groan above you as the hot organ in your mouth twitches. His fingers bury themselves in your hair as his body goes rigid. Then warm, gooey strings of fluid shoot down your throat. You swallow it hungrily, remembering from the various couples you’ve watched that this happens when a man is pleased.

You draw back and look up. Higuruma’s face is a little red and his chest is rising and falling rapidly. You carefully get to your feet and step toward the door, turning back only once to smile and wave at him. He looks utterly bewildered as you walk out and close the door behind you.

#higuruma x reader #higuruma hiromi #higuruma #higuruma smut #jjk x reader #x reader #jjk higuruma #jjk smut

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irenespring · 1 day ago

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I am at this scene right now in my rewatch and it is DESTROYING ME like it always does.

Because one of Kerry's defining motivations is searching for family. Wanting to belong, to fit in somewhere, and to be loved. And she tries this in a number of ways, including trying to find her birth parents, her numerous failed attempts at entry into the ER found family unit, arguably her whole ambition that gets mistaken for pure Machiavellianism (that is a Much longer story).

Here she is literally trying to hire a father figure. She says she loves Lawrence like a father. In her mind this is the best thing ever to happen. She's still suffering from a completely self-caused social backlash (one of very few) in that deal she made with Romano, and here she can do what she always thought she could do but has never worked before and never will again: use her power to get people to love her! Her deal with the devil was worth it because now she can hire her dad! He can work with her! And now she isn't alone! She has someone in the building! Who cares about her!

And he says so. That is a huge deal. He tells everyone who will listen how great he thinks Kerry is and he tells her all the time he thinks she's amazing. He tells her fun little stories of their time working together. He compliments her intelligence and her leadership, and he respects her policies (even the goofy badge idea). Some of that is just to cover when he forgets things and needs her to focus on other stuff, but even then he means it. After years of constant mockery and constant rejection. Mockery and rejection from the people Lawrence is now praising her to. You can practically feel how elated she is to have him there through the screen. She has someone to talk to, someone who is always happy to see her. She really is just so happy. It's everything she ever wanted, going back to when she first hired that PI. She found a parent.

And then it crumbles. And she fucking grabs at the vanishing particles, the way she insists that no, it isn't possible, he isn't sick, he doesn't have to leave, please, don't make him, she needs him, please. Then, because the writers hate her and me and human decency, there's the knife twist that she has to fire him and he storms out on her. She is forced to wreck this relationship just like she has wrecked all her other ER relationships.

ER is supposed to be a found family. It hasn't been for Kerry, until Lawrence. Now she behaves exactly like the loved ones of patients who are going to die. Telling their clearly dying family members about miracle cures, telling them to hang on just a little longer. She can't let go. Because she was happy. More than that, she doesn't want to be alone again.

The suicide element, just as Kerry is working herself up about clinical trials and hope is a brilliant piece of writing. It is also fascinating given that Kerry is someone who is (or at least will be, I will probably write much more on this when I get to s8e1 because holy shit) periodically suicidal. Also the fact that the end of Lawrence's speech is "nobody coming to see me." This is also hell for Kerry. She understands this.

So the "I'll come and see you" is 1) True. When Kerry finds the woman she thinks is her mother in the nursing home, she cares for her arguably too well, beyond the woman's wishes. She sits by her bed. Talks to her. Spends every moment she can with her. Despite all evidence that woman: doesn't know where she is, who she is, doesn't know Kerry is there. Kerry will show up no matter what. 2) in Kerry's mind, enough. One person made all the difference for her these past couple episodes. Just to have one person there is a game changer.

There's something horribly ominous in the way the last scene of the episode isn't this scene but Jeanie packing up. I think it's supposed to be ending on a happier note, but it drives home that Kerry also lost HER ONE OTHER REAL FRIEND THIS EPISODE. She is now very isolated. She'll be pretty much alone facing the paradigm shift of season 7 (for the aftereffects of that, see my comment on s8e1).

In conclusion: The show loves to torture Kerry Weaver because it thinks it is either funny, moral, or standard-trope-so-who-cares to torture the neurodivergent lesbian, but this was actually very well done so it gets a pass. The tragedy here is peak.

#character analysis #meta analysis #irene's signature “this was supposed to be one paragraph and now I could submit it for a grade” type of post #but seriously I hate this show sometimes how dare they make my precious cry #a rare example of when the show torturing Kerry is actually very sound storytelling and not done just to make Kerry suffer Just Because #(most examples have some justification but could be scrapped in context of the overall gratuitousness---this could not)#The Themes #The Loneliness #my poor darling #I want to hug her through the screen #she was so close to achieving her Big Character Motivation #my precious girl #this scene also made me cry but it made Kerry cry which is WORSE #she actually doesn't cry that much #she even only does the “super scarily quiet voice break” once a season or so #and here she starts sobbing and oh no my girl I want to say it gets better but it doesn't bc it gets worse #Anyway if you follow me for House MD you should watch ER for Kerry Weaver #I have posts comparing House and Weaver that hold up pretty well #Completely different show vibes but if you like your blorbos emotionally devastated yearning for any semblance of love and self defeating #Trying to hold their emotions/vulnerabilities/queerness far deep down inside until boom! Trauma explosion So Many Dead

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omghallucinations · 3 days ago

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seventeen mingyu: in the weeds edition

degrees, outer planets, chart patterns, ascendant complex, asteroids, aspects, upcoming saturn return??? we got it all

dude i'm so mad. i'm so mad!!! as i started writing this i was all, sure i like mingyu, but i'm not wild about mingyu, i mean everyone goes wild for mingyu, i want to spread the love!! okay!! yet here we are.

his chart bewitched and beguiled me. so intriguing! multiplicity! got mommy issues? daddy issues? a healthy attachment style?? mingyu will appeal!! however, monogamy.... probably not gonna be his bag, so keep that one in mind lmao.

29° neptune: it's giving manic pixie dream boy

ok neptune stood out to me right off the bat.

you know when i see a 29° planet i'm always gonna talk about it

neptune aspects 5/9 of his planets, and his ascendant and his MC

neptune co-rules his moon, south node, and his MC 2x (pisces, neptune decan)

a prominent/notable neptune often means people simply love to project the hell onto you, so it's not an uncommon chart situation for idols.

looking at this chart, mingyu can be someone's dream boy no matter what the dream is. he has qualities that can fit into any archetype. you want assertive and competent? he can do that. you want sweet and accommodating? he can do that too. you want clever, you want a himbo, you want funny, you want serious? he can do it all!

-> do being the key word. he does contain multitudes and is genuinely multifaceted (gemini rising, mutable cross) but the neptune factor is also projection. he can play a part, but also people often read into him whatever they want to see.

29 is the anaretic degree, it says PAY ATTENTION TO ME. it's about to pass into the next sign, which adds a few fun layers:

+ skill and proficiency: he's a good actor, fits into social roles easily, has a kind of healing energy for people, very sensitive, idealistic, could have some psychic qualities lowkey or just is very intuitive. don't get too excited!! 29° is not considered a benefic, because what exactly is beneficial about having to finish a project? this is not fun and fancy free 0° just starting shit and doesn't have to worry about finishing it!! finishing stuff sucks so much and this is in capricorn, the pressure is immense!! ->capricorn neptune usually vibes kind of.... self-sacrificial. he might find it a little easy to martyr himself when no one asked him to do all that -> 8th house--well let's amp neptune's needs the fuck up, shall we?? anything in a water house is karmic as shit. also he is intuitive as fuck. walk into a room and he knows how eeeeeeverybody is feeling within 10 seconds. there are a lot of psychic qualities here, and moon conjunct south node can he see ghosts bro??? wouldn't put it past him. + urgency: as neptune is about to leave capricorn, he might feel this desperation to do and acquire as much here as possible. we're gonna see spirituality, merging with others, escapism! there's a sense of need here, the void calls him, he must do it all!!! -> neptune is water, altered states, can't say no -> 8th house is I Feel Too Much I See The Depths I Gotta Crash Out -> capricorn is I Can't Let Go of My Responsibilities Without SEVERE ASSISTANCE -> 29° is SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING... hm. be careful about alcohol, buddy, i'm sensing... binge drinking? + tests: time for final neptune exams! lowkey mingyu might have some addictive tendencies for real. either way he's gonna face some crises around escapism for sure, also probably crises to do with his lack of boundaries, workaholism, and how easily he merges with others.

with neptune in the 8th house, sex addiction or just general promiscuity as escapism is... really not out of the question here i'm not gonna lie. tbh i'd be shocked if his bedpost was not notched all to hell. HOWEVER, it's not at all the stereotypical fuckboy asshole vibe, it's kind of like:

aries sun/venus conjunction in the 11th house: okay fine, a soupçon of fuckboy energy, assertive, probably the kind of flirt who teases you a lot (have u ever met an aries venus who is not playfully mean as a form of flirtation bc i haven't), fun social energy, life of the party, unbearably charming... aaand very much will ghost you. but not in a mean way! however pisces moon/mc, prominent neptune, venus sextile jupiter, moon conjunct sn, lots of other chart aspects tbh: incredibly sweet and earnest, forms genuine connections with people, caring, nurturing as shit, earnestly looks into ur eyes all the time, probably a chronic face toucher however sagittarius 7th house, gemini rising, gemini juno: he's just naturally kind of a roamer romantically! he seeks variety, conversation, connection, experience, adventure, new things. he'd probably be into romance with people from lots of different places, who speak other languages--but again, it's really a one or two night thing. (tbh gemini risings, with that sag 7th house libra 5th house, often um.... .. well they don't settle down easily? tend to have a lot of fun in um social um situations? chart dependent, but it's not unusual (looking at you bang chan))

mingyu might be one night standing 365, but he honestly no bullshit feels a connection with every single person when they're together. he looks upon their time together fondly when he leaves at 3am! and he's not putting on an act here!

like sure he is not staying for breakfast, but he doesn't see that as not... valuing the person, i guess? it's very spiritual vibey, neptunian, ahhh how beautiful, we connected tonight, i'll remember you, our journeys connected for this one beautiful moment, farewell, etc. sagittarius-y too, which makes sense with his 7th house. like it's bullshit in a way but it's not bullshit to him, u know?

man i hope he is good at communication, because this is giving manic pixie dream boy in a huge way. lmaoooo, i can't lie it's kind of fun to me? gemini sun to gemini rising, this is fun!

ok let's add some qualifiers, aspects with less than 2° orb (so they're strong, is what i'm saying)

square libra chiron in the 5th at 29° (0.07°A) yeah so um, that's likely more of the same sort of theme (5th house includes casual romantic relationships), but more neuroses about it. -> on some level he's a little afraid to let people stay--like he's not at all afraid of connection, but he is afraid of sustained connection -> he is also afraid of NOT GETTING ENOUGH ATTENTION!!! (5th house) but he's very cute and earnest about it. he probably feels genuinely upset and remorseful if someone feels led on by him. -> also like, fifth house as childhood, who hurt you mingyu??? who discouraged your artistic expression when u were a kid??? were you discouraged from expressing urself for social conformity reasons?? did u feel shame about breaking the peace and ur need for attention?? man that saturn and SN in the 10th... mars in the 4th... pluto squaring your MC-IC... heal ur inner child mingyu 😭

quincunx gemini ascendant (1.57°A) : in one sense mingyu is acting in a genuine way and if people don't get that that's their problem, but at the same time the projections occur, and make him feel like he's not being perceived as his true self :/ is it because people think you're a dom top when you're actually a sub service top... jw -> the quincunx is a thinky thinky aspect--whenever i see it i know the person can analyze that shit (and too much probably, with another strong quincunx between mingyu's mercury and pluto) -> mingyu's Life Journey is about communicating (gemini) and asserting himself (aries), and his neptune issues (escapism, martyring himself, ghosting) come into conflict with that journey

conjunct pallas (0.42°S): ok. well. this is where my head really turned for mingyu, like damn bud he has the Vision. -> amazing natural leader, inspiring, strategic, problem-solver, finds creative solutions out of nowhere. -> sometimes an active neptune can lead to an easily bruised quality (i love her but blackpink jennie (neptune conjunct sun) was like this before her saturn return[in pisces!]). with that pisces moon i had assumed mingyu would get this too but!! he does not. he has a deep, unshakable like... belief? connection with the universe in a way?? he knows he can get through anything; he's incredibly resilient. -> sidebar pallas is at 0° aquarius-- he is smart smart smart, really quick thinker

trine gemini juno in his 12th house (1.5°S): goddamnit this chart keeps getting cuter but not too cute, i'm so mad. he's a natural caretaker and nurturer, especially with this being in a water houses trine. people look at him and are like, immediately ready to confess all their troubles. he's so nurturing!! if you have mommy issues, mingyu could appeal to you! (oh shit is that why this is working on me...? lmao uh oh) -> gemini juno in the 12th, he likes a partner who is clever, communicative, variable, possibly who plays hard to get sometimes, in the 12th he wants to feel like Fated to that person, however likely to have lots of undefined relationships and/or secret relationships and/or issues with partners meaning ill towards him or causing him harm directly or indirectly (not a guarantee, just a possibility)

bucket chart with a 4th house mars handle: go go go! (home? NO! the CLUB! then home :) )

mingyu has a bucket chart pattern--almost all of his planets are in one half of his chart--mostly the upper half (public facing, life is about external situations), but there are two in the lower half--pluto and mars. OHHHH boy, he's got some subconscious brewing down there, baby!! 6th house pluto and virgo mars can u say... anxiety???

notably, mars is our "bucket handle", since it's off by itself. it's gonna flavor the whoooooole pot, and since it's down by the IC in the most private and personal part of the chart, it's like mingyu holds this very close to his chest.

bucket chart patterns usually mean EXTREMES, pushing urself, conflict, all that kind of thing, and mars as the bucket handle??? lmao. life is about ACTION.

however. mars is in virgo in the 4th house and retrograde, this isn't a straightforward fiery direct mars in aries in the first or something. he is very go go go but also there's a lot of fear and restriction in there. also virgo is about SERVICE, so that is key (and: service top energy???)

any planet trying to make a move: so yeah that's my plan, i just need you to sign off, so if you can do that real quick... mars rx: hey :) you gotta learn how to assert yourself in your own individual way that is free from societal pressure :) u won't learn this for a long time so :) hope you enjoy things going wrong :) virgo mars: i have made 8 lists and cross-referenced all of them and then i will make a decision but wait what if i made a mistake, hm let's make another 2 lists, why are you getting impatient there is no point doing something if i do not do it correctly, mars in the 4th house: no yeah that's fine i can um. i can do all that. for sure. no problem. just gotta... cancel all my other plans so i can do everything myself since i'm the ONLY one who can,,,,, so, ,,

-> quincunx 11th house aries venus: (mars trying to throttle venus for impulsive choices because of social pressures YET AGAIN) -> quincunx 11th house aries sun: (following aries sun to parties whispering how have you been of service lately in his ear while he takes another shot) the perfectionism really jumps out in this whole area of the chart, plus the heavy 10th house -> conjunct lilith: oooh boy!! energy, charm, willpower, sexual magnetism, assertive, basically like injecting cautious virgo mars with a bit of scorpio and a bit of aries, ooohHHHH boy. his action and will is based on passion! however, potential to dominate situations and/or make rash emotional decisions (virgo mars hates this) -> conjunct virgo lilith in the 4th house: perfectionism runs rife, also some issues with the family (esp with his mars being in the 4th)--could be family secrets, or he feels beholden to his family all the time, or he didn't feel like he belonged in his family, or something else, but it leads to a certain masking quality for self-protection. -----> especially with this conjunction directly opposed to his 10th house moon--possibly an unhealthy relationship with his mother or another parent-like figure, enmeshment or just a ton of pressure on him (and possibly the reverse, pressure taken off him when it's not necessary). a lot to unravel here for him, lots of generational stuff at play, this is less fun and honestly more red flag-y? but it could also be just another thing to help him be even more empathetic, it really depends on how he deals with it!

mutable cross, mutable planets

rare is the aries sun who vibes like a mutable sign. despite clearly having an aries sun, mingyu has a shitton of mutable energy muddying the waters. very weird for cardinal fire aries!

so mingyu is fire dominant, with water coming a close second. then mutable energy goes crazy.

mingyu's angles are in a mutable square--gemini ascendant, sagittarius descendant, pisces MC, virgo IC.

mingyu's cardinal sun, saturn and venus might feel awkward with like his life direction and shape, in a sense. his mutable placements (his pisces moon, lunar nodes, virgo mars and even his sag pluto which is generational) gel with the way his life moves and may feel more "accessible" to him. it's an interesting combination!

pisces moon in the 10th house -- deeply empathetic, need for emotional contact, softness, but also expects a lot of himself (10th house), it's the highest planet on the chart so it's visible, easily accessible, very public. HUGE sense of responsibility to others.

virgo mars in the 4th house -- precision, energy, highly competent, good at "home" stuff, probably good at DIY and cooking and anything homemaking, also very high expectations of himself, loves to Provide

sag pluto in the 6th house -- pluto in the 6th house is all about Service, which literally was already point 1 and 2 on this list, so this is what is called a "repeated theme" lads! mingyu's soul journey has a huge slice about service to others. pluto in the 6th is all about getting humbled, lmao. he may go through crises or just humiliation in some way, whatever it takes for the soul to get a reality check. this placement can be prone to over-work, distracting themselves from anxiety, that sort of thing. a crisis that may happen often does through the body--illness or injury forcing someone to have to slow down and assess shit.

while we're here, let's look at his MC

in pisces: at work/in the wider world he moves in a sensitive, artistic way, very empathetic, he needs to be able to be creative and to connect with other people in order to feel satisfied professionally neptune decan: all that projection, tho conjunct the royal star fomalhaut: this was super interesting to me--any royal star in close conjunction with someone's chart will bring gifts and success and the opportunity to share a message w the world, but it will also make you go through Trials. mingyu's neptune is already putting him through Trials so like join the club i guess!! -> pros: wisdom, empathy, artistic talent -> cons: intense very visible emotions, aforementioned Trials

let's add some dialogue with the aspects, shall we?

pisces MC: i meet the world with sensitivity and empathy :) if i don't get to do that professionally i feel incomplete :( sextile taurus mercury in the 11th: my talent for communication aligns perfectly with my career :) also i have a nice down-to-earth and sensible vibe :) i love to chill with my friends and like-minded groups of people :) trine chiron: wow i am so wise :) feeling stifled creatively when i was young has made me value what i have now! i can heal others through my artistic expression! square pluto: knock knock pisces MC: no... no don't do it... square pluto: say who's there. never mind i don't care, it's time to force that transformation, baby!! pisces MC: but my escapism? square sag pluto in the 6th: not anymore :) damn look at that, now you have a slight terror around your need to be liked... a deep inability to follow orders you think are stupid... pisces MC: at least i have a cute duality between innocence and wisdom now? square pluto in the 6th: hey u know that deep soul level feeling of lack and internalized guilt that permeates everything? hm what if that could be fixed... with enough power/success/approval from other people pisces MC: but it's ... it's never going to be enough? square pluto: but it's never going to be enough :)

active 9th, 10th, 11th house: Externally Focused, Extrovert Style

(not that people with these placements are all extroverts, it's just the whole picture is screaming SOCIAL BUTTERFLY here)

-jupiter in the 9th: he's live laugh loving, he's listening and learning, he's on a Journey, jupiter's favorite house is the 9th and she can't wait to tell you about her backpacking trip (mingyu loves a backpacking trip) -> jupiter in aquarius: curiosity! interested in new ideas, also thinks he's right all the time -> jupiter sextile sun (exact orb): people like him! he has a talent for literally shining, but also projecting and expanding the vision of the self -> 9th jupiter sextile 11th sun: talent for communicating ideas to groups of people -> jupiter sextile venus: people really like him very much -> jupiter square vertex in gemini: you know that sylvia plath quote about the fig tree? that. so many possibilities! sometimes gets disappointed because he has really high expectations. wants everything all at once! cannot have :(

aries sun in the 11th: SOCIAL!!! also smart. wants to be influential with groups, is already influential with groups, feels he is not influential enough? natural leader tho. -> also super loyal! -> sun conjunct venus (exact): very pretty :) very charming :) very adorable :) gentle :) sweet :) NEEDS TO BE LOVED BY EVERYONE ALL THE TIME OR HE WILL WILT!!! HIS FEELINGS WERE HURT BECAUSE U DIDN'T GIVE HIM ENOUGH ATTENTION!! aries venus in the 11th: flirts by teasing someone, wants to be flirted with by teasing, also would prefer this to happen in public where everyone can observe and he can feel like a special boy (he is a special boy!!) -> insanely huge social circle, CONSTANTLY out, hates being alone, loves the club, loves to flirt with e-v-e-r-y-one. also falls in love with everyone, but for like 30-50 seconds each. -> venus quincunx mars: a little afraid of serious conflict for an aries sun!! asteroid sedna in the 11th: mmm. a little bit of a doormat at times for his friends. will give the shirt off his back, and then all the shirts from his closet, then be like wait :( i have no shirts :( why didn't someone give me their shirts???? why am i always the one giving shirts???? hopefully his aries energy can balance this out. mercury in the 11th: lives to communicate with others. wants to share his thoughts and ideas!! ability to analyze things! -> taurus mercury: when he has made his decision about something, good luck changing his mind lmao it ain't happening -> taurus mercury in the 11th: fixed energy on fixed house energy, unbelievably stubborn, lord with the aries sun as well... ... god bless. i mean i think this combo is fun, but... .... yeah don't try to change his mind ever, just manipulate him into it, it'll be easier for both of you. -> quincunx pluto in the 6th: some anxiety and fear here--does he like overshare when he gets drunk at a party and then regrets it and crashes out a little bit the next day?? very possible. -> sextile MC: lucky! his need to communicate is matched perfectly with his public persona -> taurus sextile pisces MC: he has (a) a talent for communicating in a way that has people emotionally connecting and (b) a certain level of realism and practicality protects him from having the tissue paper boundaries of many pisces MCs

moon in the 10th: have discussed a little, but having the most sensitive intimate moon (pisces) in the most public business boy house can feel weird sometimes, a little bit vulnerable, however he is well-loved -> conjunct SN: SENSITIVE saturn in the 10th: the 10th is saturn's favorite house, it's the house of Getting Real and Growing The Hell Up and Having Expectations That Are Maybe Unrealistic and then Beating Urself Up For Not ACHIEVING ENOUGH... i mean. however saturn is a rude bitch so even when your saturn is a place where he is comfortable, he will still fuck up your shit :/ don't get me wrong i love saturn, but i do not think that mingyu loves saturn? aries and saturn... well. -> aries saturn in the 10th: a whole mess of contradictions. starting and stopping, rushing and waiting, wanting to SHINE and being terrified of shining? -> saturn conjunct sun: was his dad... really strict? bright side, huge amounts of self-discipline, hard worker, reliable, very different flavor of an aries sun. still an aries sun, though, you cannot quash the aries sun. also SKY HIGH expectations of himself.

stay tuned for ur saturn return starting 24 may 2025, mingyu, it's gonna rock your shit up 😬. ahh lord, look at this!! i'm not even a predictive astrology girlie and i went "uh oh..."

like, his saturn return as our foundational issue, then saturn activating his moon, SN, saturn, sun, venus? pluto activating the 8th the whole time? squaring his mercury? uranus activating the 12th?? nodal reversal?? damn that is... a lot of upheaval and transformation and change, bud. neptune haunting the 10th like "hey... what if all ur future plans... were all wrong? no i do not have an alternative plan for u i'm just here to tell u ur lost :)"

great if he deals with things productively, however It Hurts To Become and all that!!

godspeed, mingyu, at least you bagged another admirer on this day (my dumb ass)

#kpop astrology #seventeen astrology #mingyu astrology

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