#i do have to also go through all my ''___ started following you!'' emails to clear out any bots i missed

[writingwithfolklore]

How to Ask for Stuff

Being able and knowing how to ask for things that you want is an incredibly important skill for… y’know, getting what you want. Whether it’s mentorship, feedback, an explanation or quick advice, networking, a job, etc. etc. etc. it's important you ask the right way to have the best chance of success.

There’s three things that should be in your request:

1. Who are you—how are you related?

This should be short and sweet. “I am a university student studying major, and was in professor’s class where you presented last week.” Or “I am a recent graduate looking to get a foothold in blah blah industry, and saw you had a lot of experience on your linkedIn profile.”

You really don’t need more than that to make yourself relevant and create a connection with this person, and it immediately sets you apart as an individual/real person. People are more likely to help people that they feel like they know in some way, rather than a complete stranger. If you are a complete stranger, explain why you decided to reach out to them specifically.

2. What exactly are you looking for

Be as specific as possible. It is far better to say, “I am looking for feedback on the first five pages of my novel, specifically around if the opening grabs the audience.” Than, “I am looking for feedback.”

This part can be a little bit scary because it is the actual asking for what you want part, but if people know exactly what you want, they will find it a lot easier to help you. Other things you can ask for: “I am looking to sit down with you for coffee and discuss your experience in the industry.” Or “I was hoping you may have some leads for where to start with my job search” etc. etc.

3. What will the project/request look like?

This will help the person decide if they have the time or availability to do what you are asking for. If you’re looking to meet with them, include your availability and where or how you are able to meet. If it’s more of a feedback situation, include when you would need notes back by and how you would like to receive said notes. So,

“I am available Monday through Friday after 5pm to meet. Please let me know if you are interested and available within that schedule!”

“If you are interested, I would love the opportunity to get on a Zoom call with you to discuss feedback. I am available any time on weekends, and would prefer if you were able to get back to me by March 1st as I will need time to adjust the piece for the due date.”

Etc. etc.

              It’s important that you maintain a professional and friendly tone, even with people who have already agreed to help you. Some ways of asking for things that I have received that I find very discouraging are:

Disinterested

I got a request that was basically, “help me if you want, I don’t care it doesn’t matter to me either way.” If you don’t care, then why would I care? Only reach out to people you genuinely want to collaborate in some way with, and make clear that you are interested in working with them. We’re not trying to look cool and disinterested here.

Impatient

Everyone is busy all the time. If your person doesn’t reply right away, do not send a message back around the lines of, “um hello??” or “are you going to reply or not?” this comes across as pretty rude and a bit entitled to that person’s time and immediate attention. If your person doesn’t reply, you can send a follow up after a week, and maintain the same tone as in your initial email/message:

“Hi (name), this is a friendly follow-up on my request. If you have any additional questions for me, please let me know. I am also able to accommodate another time slot if needed. Thank you!”

As the asker, it is your job to be flexible. Of course, if your person can’t make your hard deadline or you really can’t make your schedules work, thank them anyway and move on, but if you are able to accommodate them, do so!

Here is an example email to start you off:

Hello (person’s name), My name is (blank) and I am a (major) student/graduate from (blank) University. We met at the (place) job fair last week, and I was really intrigued by your experience in (blah) industry. I was wondering if you would be available to meet with me sometime in the next week to discuss how you got started in the industry and your experience at (company). I am available between (time) and (time) (days of the week), but may be able to accommodate a different time if it would work better for you. Please let me know if you are interested! Thank you, (Full name)

[lizeon]

after once again months of not checking my email every day like i used to, i have gone through almost all them! now it's down to just..... *checks number* 1,154 of what gmail decided goes into the 'updates' category :')

[cat9901234]

Meet cutes NYC

In which during the Miami race, a certain power couple gets interviewed and finally reveal the details of how they met.

warnings: none.

childhoodsweetheart! reader x lewis hamilton

“Excuse me, sorry are you two a couple?” the man walks up to them, catching Lewis and especially his wife by surprise.

“We are,” Lewis smiles proudly

“Could you guys please tell me the story of how the two of you met?”

Lewis’ face instantly lights up and y/n laughs at her husband's reaction, not remembering the last time she had been asked that. “That’s a long story-, oh my god wait I think I've seen you guys on uh Insta right?"

"Yes, we go around mainly New York to ask couples how they met," the interviewer informs. “We’ve got time,” Lewis shrugs, “as long you're alright with it?” He looks at his wife knowing well y/n was always the private one about her personal life.

“Is it for your channel or something?” y/n asks politely, still a little hesitant about the idea.

“We go around all over New york but also around the world asking couples how they’ve met,” he shows them their instagram page. Y/n's eyes widen at the large following count and is satisfied about their legitimacy. 

“Sure why not, but again it’s a long story,” she laughs leaning her head on her husband’s shoulder. “Do you want to start us off?”

“We met when we were eight, I believe y/n was new to the area at the time. Anyways, I actually was on the playground by myself, didn’t have any friends at the time but this one comes along and walks up to me and compliments me because she saw me in a newspaper. We were at the time one of the very few coloured people in our school. We then became inseparable and very close with my family. She even used to look after my brother when I was away during races.”

“Almost every holiday break I would come down and watch him race, that's actually how I met Susie and Seb and Nico,” Y/n adds. 

“She used to always buy me these chocolates from the news agency for my birthday each year and we would split it, at the time because I was putting all my money into racing. But anyways, when we were fifteen, I asked her out to become my girlfriend, I was also racing more but like we would always write letters and email to contact each other. I would always get her to fly over and spend time with me during holiday breaks so we could spend more time together, hang out. When we graduated actually, I asked her to marry me,” he bashfully said, rubbing the back of his neck as his wife blushed at the memory and covered her face with her hand.

“Really?” the interviewer exclaims.

“Yeah,” Lewis nods, “you know like I didn’t want to be apart from her. She you know was—, is my everything. She believed in me when no one else wouldn’t.” 

“So what happened?”

“Well you know at the time we were so young and both so ambitious in our own rights. I think what was going through my head at the time was that we had so much to discover about ourselves and definitely at that age the relationship with the media and Lewis’ career on the rise wouldn't have worked. Also, the fact that I wanted to do so many things as well for myself would have held Lewis back, and I knew deep within me that I would have been selfish for that," Y/n continues. "You know he means so much to young kids of colour, to fans of formula one, etc and that was that. So you know we talked about it, cried and yelled about it but in the end it was very mutual and we both understood. So we broke it off—”

“Sorry, but I remember her saying you know after all the crying and yelling that I was gonna date around actresses and models, marry a model slash actress and stuff. But I remember clear as day I said to her that I wasn’t going to marry anyone if wasn’t her; and she thought I was joking—”

“Well I mean hello he was what seventeen/eighteen at the time. Also what he said was just a coincidence,” y/n cuts in.

“Nuh. Nuh, I didn’t realise it till after I married you,” he teased. Y/n rolls her eyes at his cheesiness that has the interviewer smiling from cheek to cheek.

“Anyways, long story short, we met through Nicholas, Lewis' brother. He was in Uganda helping out a charity I helped organise with a friend where we were building a school. From memory he posted about us to get some views for donating,” Y/n summed it up.

“The moment I saw it I immediately asked Nico for her contacts because I just wanted to meet her. We were in contact for about a month before I invited her to a race, we then immediately hit it off like and we dated for a year then got married.”

“Wow,” the person breathed, “so you’ve known each other since you were eight. What would you say is your favourite thing about each other?”

Y/n chuckles as Lewis can’t help but laugh at her too. 

“I think for me,” Y/n starts, “is how giving he is and how much attention he pays. Like you know even back when we were kids he would always try to get me small things like for example when I visited him in 2003 he gave me this necklace here actually,” she shows off the simple pearl pendant necklace, “because I mentioned once that I really liked pearls because from memory were talking about gemstones. But like even now he’s just so thoughtful and stuff.”

“For me it’s her kindness, and she’s always looked past first appearances cause like for me personally I was never anyone’s first choice. Whether that was games or-, or on the playground—, she chose me first and that meant so much. You know, even with my brother, she didn’t think much of it, she was never embarrassed about being seen with him, playing with him and making sure he feels included like that’s when I knew I was in love with her,” Lewis explained.

“Well, thank you guys so much!"

"no worries man, take care."

[nohoney]

Bakugou would listen to you rant all about work. Even though he’s the one out on the streets with more exciting stories to tell, one of his favorite things is to hear you talk about your own work. He follows and nods along with whatever work story you have for him for the day, always attentive but never telling you what you should do to handle it (as he had learned from a prior relationship).

“I can tell he fuckin’ hates me, you know?” You continue on about your current work events as you sit on the countertop and watch Bakugou cut vegetables, “He keeps on bringing up my old manager as if she has anything to do with it now. Like, no motherfucker! You answer to me now and I’m saying pay your stupid invoice!”

The vegetables for dinner are set aside while the oven is still preheating. Two pieces of pork chop are taken from the fridge and is set aside on a clean plate as Bakugou looks for spices to rub into the meat. “So what happened baby? Did he pay? Y’said you were dealing with this for almost two weeks.” He asks you, genuinely curious if your annoying client is actually complying with you. The thought in his head is wondering how you handled it.

“I have to read you this email that I wrote. I gotta say the professional ways of dissing someone in email is something I finally understand now.” You laugh as you pull up your work email on your phone. Word for word you read out your well thought out response to your difficult client, not backing down and upholding work policy as you are expected to. Bakugou had never really bothered with any type of skill of being professional through communication in his job; it’s what his team is for while he gets the really privilege to cuss as he pleases and have his team handle it for the public. “Here is how I signed off, I think it’s probably my most eloquent and business-like ‘fuck you’ I’ve written so far.”

You clear your throat first before reading aloud, “‘I hope that the explanations of how to navigate your account has cleared up any confusion you may have and that you are able to move forward in compliance with our company policy, if you have any further questions then please let me know.’ God I know he’s going to hate me as soon as he reads it!”

He chuckles, happy that you know how to stand your ground in such a manner that Bakugou knows he struggles in. “You tell him, baby.”

“I fucking did Katsuki!” You boast with a proud little smile as you hop off the countertop and go to his side as he heats oil in a pan. “Sorry, I’ve been going on about this annoying client for a while. I wanna hear about your work today Tsuki.”

Bakugou shakes his head though and urges you to talk about what else happened at your work. The meat sizzles as he presses it into the pan, crackling and sizzling in a way that’s reminiscent of his quirk but to a much lower degree. The oven beeps to indicate that preheating is finished and you move to put all the vegetables into the glass pan and stick it in for him, already setting a timer before he can even ask. “What about that other guy? The one who keeps on saying that he’s getting investors so he wants to make you wait a little longer?” He asks you when he recalls another client you complained of a few days ago.

You excitedly pop off about your work again, unknowing how you calm Bakugou down with your own work stories. Your series of responsibilities that he wouldn’t know the first clue how to handle are interesting to him to hear how you handle yourself. It’s simple compared to what he does but in no way is it easy either. To see you struggle sometimes with your own career wasn’t easy for him but you were also strong enough to handle it all the same.

And he liked to think that he made it easy for you to handle because he wanted to hear anything and everything about your job that’s so different from his. “Tell me about the parking permits, did that get solved yet?” He asks as he starts to set food on the plates.

“No! I’m on week three of dealing with it and it’s ridiculous! I sent everything in so early and they deal with it so late!!”

Bakugou listens with a happy heart to hear you talk, never wanting you to apologize over the things that frustrate you. And by the end of your rants, even he feels a little lighter as he readies to get in bed with you.

And the next day as he’s just about to enter a meeting in his agency, Bakugou gets a text from you.

[1:57 pm] omg i need to tell you what this mofo emailed me when we’re home

He looks forward to it, letting a little smile come onto his face. He can see you all cute and puffed up and mad, and he can’t wait to hear about it.

[1:58 pm] can’t wait baby. love you.

You text him back within seconds.

[1:58 pm] love you!!!

Bakugou can’t wait to be home and listen to you.

[jungshookz]

teeny tidbits: namjoon wants a raise & y/n is kind of scary

i watched the proposal again recently + i’ve been on depop trying not to spend a million dollars on all the y2k corporate-core clothes = inspired me to write this snippet of ceo!y/n (you all know i have a soft spot for anything ceo i’m sorry) 

“ever since you hired me, i’ve managed to boost sales up by approximately 28%-“ namjoon clears his throat, trying his best to continue standing tall as he points to the screen with his little laser pen, “i’ve been working here for nearly a year and a half which you can argue hasn’t been very long, but at the same time i feel as though my efforts and the results that i’ve produced is well deserving of a raise, miss y/l/n. i wasn’t going to say anything but i’ve actually been offered a position elsewhere with a higher salary, and, well- i do enjoy working here, and i would like to stay here, but-“ 

you lean back against your office chair, propping both elbows up on the arm chairs before pressing your fingertips together, staring intently at the presentation in front of you 

your eyes follow the little red dot darting across the screen and you lick over your teeth as your head tilts to the side slightly 

“-so, what do you think?” namjoon reaches the end of his presentation and tucks his pen into his shirt pocket, very much aware of how much heat is radiating off his body from the nerves 

he’s heard some things about people who’ve tried to ask for raises, and making the bold move of coming directly to you has historically never ended very well for those guys 

jungkook presses the button for the lights to turn on and the blinds to roll back up from where he’s standing by the front door, offering namjoon a smile and a supportive nod 

at least five seconds of silence linger in the air and namjoon wonders if you’re able to hear his heart practically beating out of his chest 

you’ve also been maintaining eye contact with him the entire time he’s presented which makes him ten times as nervous because he’ll be the first to admit you have very nice eyes 

“…i think all of this could’ve been an email, kim.” you lean forward, office chair squeaking slightly as you swipe your phone off the table and unlock it, “the next time you want something, i don’t need a thirty-eight minute presentation on why you think you deserve it.” 

“ma’am?” namjoon’s face reddens and suddenly it feels like the collar of his button-up is suffocating him 

“who’s trying to poach you from me?” 

“i-if you don’t mind, i’d like to keep that detail priv-“ namjoon immediately stops talking when your eyes flicker up from your phone to look at him through your eyebrows, “ah- min corporations, miss y/l/n. i was contacted by their secretary last week.” 

“mm, i’ve spoken to that secretary. preppy little thing.” you snort, eyebrow raising slightly at the memory of the one time you got a call on your personal cell phone from min corporations (you’re not even sure how that secretary got your damn number in the first place) inviting you to a lunch with mr. min yoongi himself 

you went, of course, more than surprised to discover that the secretary wasn’t just his secretary but also his wife and the mother of his (adorable) daughter 

you don’t know how she managed to go from secretary all the way to wife/mother but hat’s off to her for pulling that off

with that being said you’re sure that if she spoke three decibels higher all the dogs in the city would start barking and all the windows in your office would’ve cracked 

“you’re a hard worker. i like having you on my team.” you set your phone face down on your desk, “get back to work. we can discuss numbers another day because if you make me look at another excel spreadsheet i might change my mind.” 

“oh, i- thank you so much, miss y/l/n, i really appreciate it! thank you so much-“ namjoon fumbles with the projector and switches it off, a weight instantly lifted off his shoulders at the implication that he will, in fact, be getting a raise 

“mm.” you gesture with a flick of your wrist for him to leave your office as you raise your phone to your ear, “min yoongi! trying to steal my star salesman, are you?” 

jungkook opens the door for namjoon, stepping aside to let him out before shutting the door behind him quietly 

“see, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” jungkook beams, giving namjoon a hearty pat on the arm, “congratulations on the raise!” 

“i think i need to take a shot or something, that was- so stressful.” namjoon lets out a breath, reaching up to loosen his tie slightly, “god, she really- her eye contact is crazy intense sometimes-“ 

“it’s probably the eyeliner in her waterline making her look ten times scarier, you’ll survive-“ 

🎙️ ask y/n for eyeliner recommendations (talk to my characters!) 

📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (go say hi to your other faves!)

💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)

🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits like this!) 

[hellisharchive]

・﹒・ comatose dreams [1]

Summary: After suffering from a fatal car crash, you had become comatose and had no hope of waking up anytime soon. You didn't know that, however, you thought you had died. After finding yourself in Hell, you wind up landing a job with Vox as your boss. You both fall quickly and deeply, but true love doesn't always work out.

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, masturbation, slight StaticMoth,

Notes: This fanfic is inspired by this lovely post by @timeslugarts! I would suggest reading it for a full summary, however if you want to go in blind, then don't!

﹒Stepping Stones﹒

An entire year working for VoxTech, what was your job, you ask? Well, you started out as a simple camera operator, then worked your way up to personal assistant, and you've had a crush on the television man for a good year now. Unfortunately, Vox always seemed so out of reach, so out of your league, you never even tried to even flirt with him and hoping he'd notice. He was an Overlord, one of the Vees, you were probably seen as nothing to him. Which hurt to think about, but was true nonetheless. So, you worked and went through your days with all your feelings festering inside you, ready to burst.

"Vox, you have a meeting with Vel and Val at three pm today to discuss potential strategies with Alastor returning, would you like to cancel?" You watched him as he adjusted his bowtie, ensuring that his outfit was perfect as always. He also had a tendency to cancel his meetings, but to the chagrin of his partners since he arrengaed them in the first place, but you still forced him to attend at least some.

"No, I know if I don't they'll be on my ass about it later" Turning from the mirror, he looked at you with a bored expression before putting on one of his smiles that you thought would be fake, but it was genuine. From working with him, you've learned to identify what smiles are real and ones that aren't.

"What? Do you really want to be alone with me THAT badly?" His smile then moved to a smirk, causing you get flustered and fumble with the tablet you were holding. Shit. Was that the first time he flirted with you? Vox chuckled as you regained your bearings, clearing your throat, you tried to remain professional.

"Well no sir, I was just uh, caught off guard by your uh...assumption" You coughed as he started to walk out of the room, knowing you'll diligently follow, and you did. You shut the door behind you and followed him as he made his way to his head of operations. He didn't tell you where he was going, but you knew his route every single day, that is- if he does, you'll still follow him wherever he went. You'll always be loyal to him and him only.

"Well, let's hope I don't have to calm Valentino down again today after yesterday..." He scowled just thinking about it. Yesterday, Val had yet again another temper tantrum and you watched as your boss did his thing. It was something you've grown accustomed to with your time as the tv man's personal assistant, they both fucked with no strings attached. Sure, they weren't together, but it still squandered you telling the truth about your feelings even further.

"Hopefully not, sir" You spoke as he entered his main control room, where he could spy on everyone and everything. He mainly has been monitoring the hotel and Alastor, even when the Radio Demon was gone for seven years, he never stopped bringing him up. The deer Overlord has only been back for a few months and he was the only thing Vox brought up for entire days sometimes. You didn't mind it though, it was pretty entertaining to witness. Sitting down in his chair, you grabbed yours and sat next to him as he observed everyone, trying to find Alastor roaming around. He checked the hotel first but couldn't find him with his scope of range. Time passes as he does his daily checking and observing, replying to emails, and the like. You busy yourself with checking his schedules and any business opportunities. You didn't realize that he stopped speaking until his sudden voice breaking the silence startled you.

"Do you think he'll ever take me seriously?" He spoke oddly quiet, his usual self gone as you swore you heard the faintest crackle in his voice. Looking up from your tablet, you saw that his head was down, looking at his lap with his hands fiddling each other as a sign of nerves. Sighing, you stood up and walked in front of him. Gently setting your hand on his shoulder, it caused him to look up with a face similar to a sad puppy. Smiling softly, with your other free hand, you placed it on his other shoulder.

"I know one day he will, sir. Trust me, you'll beat him and be the strongest overlord in Hell" You almost said "with me by your side" but refrained, knowing it was best not to mention that at all to him. This was about cheering him up, not entertaining your stupid fantasies. But, you saw as a digital blush faintly appear on his screen made your heart leap. You? A measly assistant managed to make THE Vox blush? You two were entranced, the feeling of leaning closer overwhelmed you as you both slowly inched closer and closer. What were you doing? You both were about six inches apart as he placed a hand over yours, now smiling devilishly as he chuckled.

"Of course I will, I just need someone by my side to do it" Did he...? You didn't have to fully process what he meant by that as you saw Vox's screen change to an incoming call with a ring. The moment ended as you cleared your throat and pulled away, taking your hands off his shoulders like they became fire. Of course- Valentino.

"Are you fucking-" He scowled as he transmitted the video call to one of his many screens, showing a very scandalously clad moth lounging on his bed, smoking and turning the screen into red before dissipating.

"Hey Voxy~ I need a fuck and I need it now. Angel Dust won't return my calls" Now, you weren't the biggest fan of Valentino, despite Vox also not being the best. But even as a sinner, you still did not agree with how that man treated others, especially his main star. Hearing the fact that he was demanding sex from your boss made your blood boil, yet you remained calm and neutral.

"Not now Val, find one of your other whores to fuck, I'm not in the mood" He didn't try to hide is displeasure as he held a very pissed off face staring at the pimp. Usually Vox never denied having sex with Valentino, so the sudden anger surpised you. Valentino just sighed, leaning closer to the camera. You weren't sure if he could see you, you hoped he didn't.

"You aren't fucking anyone else, right baby?" The question gave you whiplash despite not being the receiver. The moth sounded innocuous when you knew very well he manipulated Vox along with others. You knew his game.

"Fuck off Val" The tv Overlord than hung up, growling as he pushed out of his chair and started to walk towards the middle of the room. Following him, he headed back into the rest of the tower and back to his room. Before you could step in, he stood in the doorway, preventing your access.

"Don't bother me, do whatever the fuck you want for the next few hours, I don't care" and just like that, he slammed the door in your face. What the hell just happened? Taking a deep breath in, you mull over what you could possibly do when you decide to just take a walk. You needed some time outside the tower every once a while, so a walk would be perfect. Not wanting to head out in your work attire, you head to your room which was right next to Vox's (easier to be his assistant with you so close) and change. As you walked by your boss' door, you heard him panting and immediately flushed, walking away quickly as it felt wrong to hear him masturbate. You did walk in on him one time by pure accident and even to to this day he still teases you over it and makes fun of you. As you passed by, you could have sworn you heard him moan out your name, but he couldn't have. Right? Your ears were just playing tricks on you. Rushing past, opting to ignore it entirely, you went on your walk.

[juyeonszn]

DIVE TO YOU

PAIRING lee sangyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 2.61k

GENRES fluff ﹒suggestive

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DNI u already know, roommates to ;) type beat, ummm they’re naked, they are in a bathtub, sangyeon is… wow sangyeon just deserves a warning on his own, he is A Lot, there’s a mention of a voyeuristic moment but it’s nothing crazy, he massages reader, they make out, i tease u all bc i’m evil like that

SUMMARY you’ve never really thought of sangyeon in an explicit way, but now that you’re stuck in this position, it’s going to be difficult for your thinking to go back to normal.

MORE SURPRISE ALLY (@winterchimez) MY BELOVED THIS ONE IS FOR U <<<3 i hope i didn’t kill u </3 this is another request from my 100 followers event! prompts used are: 9, 16, 17 🤞

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs

You hated your job more than anything in the world. It was mind-numbing. All you did was stare at a computer all day and type type type, responding to emails or drafting up documents for your boss. It was exhausting. To be honest, you were sick of it.

But you needed it, unless you wanted to get kicked out of your apartment for not making your share of the rent. Sure, having a job you disliked wasn’t ideal, but you were surviving and wasn’t that all that mattered?

Besides, you’d probably die if you were forced to move out of your apartment. Your roommate was the only reason you moved in to the damn place despite rent being so fucking expensive.

You remember the day you stumbled upon his ad like it was yesterday, though it had already been exactly one year. You’d just finished your first month at your job and you were growing tired of dealing with your parents. Yeah it was nice that you didn’t have to worry about half of your current expenses while living under their roof, but you knew you needed to ship up and move out eventually. You figured this was the perfect time to do so.

You scoured the internet for apartments, but soon realized that living on your own would be way too much, considering all of the other things you also had to worry about now. As you started filtering through listings that requested a second habitant, you stumbled upon your roommate’s. The rent itself was a little bit over your budget, but the way he worded his ad had you hooked.

Just an hour later you were emailing him and setting up a meeting to discuss important details. You met up at a cute little coffee shop a few days later when you both found some free time. Being the punctual person you were, you arrived earlier than planned, ordering your go to and picking a two seater in the corner by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows.

You had always been the type to psych yourself up before doing anything major. You needed at least half an hour of prep time if you were making any important decisions, because you could not handle things going wrong. Everything in your life had to be carefully and methodically done. You liked to say you were thorough, but everyone else called you a perfectionist. It is what it is.

And because you didn’t know this guy, you had no idea what he looked like and you weren’t aware that he had the same mindset. You glance up from your drink to see the most handsome man you’ve ever laid your eyes on walk into the cafe, ordering something you can’t make out. He looks like something straight from a drama, his hair styled neatly and his outfit put together. Even under his thick coat, you could see how well sculpted he was.

You don’t realize that you’re staring until he’s suddenly walking towards your direction, his coffee in his hands. He furrows his brows and clears his throat. “Hi, I don’t mean to bother you, but do you happen to be Y/N?”

Oh my god. No way. There was no way this hunk of a man was your potential roommate. It was impossible.

When your lips part in shock and you don’t respond for a couple seconds, he blinks at you. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that impossible. You nearly facepalm for already making such a fool of yourself before you’ve even held a proper conversation. You stumble over your words as you gesture to the chair across from you. “Y-Yes! Yes, that’s me. Please, take a seat!”

He smiles politely, setting down his drink and shedding his coat. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Sangyeon.”

You wipe your hands on your jeans before reaching to shake his hand nervously. If you could hardly handle this simple meeting, how could you handle living with the guy? He might send you into spontaneous combustion by just looking at you.

Sangyeon had the patience of a saint, and you would be eternally grateful for it. After getting to know each other better and growing more comfortable around him, the two of you discussed the roommate situation. You truly lucked out in finding him, seeing as you shared a lot of similar ideals. He even offered to lower your part of the rent as much as he could, explaining that you were by far his favorite candidate for the second room.

Later that same day, you went over and got an apartment tour prior to signing a lease agreement. And then the rest was history.

You sigh as the clock finally hits 6, signaling the end of your very long work day. One thing you disliked about getting off at the time you did was the fact that it was always snowing. It made it hard to navigate your way home, since most people packed around the bus stops like sardines. You hug your coat to yourself to block out the harsh winds, your scarf wrapped up to your nose.

You were tired and cold and all you wanted was to be inside the blanket that was your apartment, soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine beside you. Sangyeon was supposedly working late today, which meant you’d have some much needed alone time.

The entire bus ride, you find yourself drifting off and then startling awake when you drove over a bump. You don’t remember the last time you were this drained after a work week. It could’ve been because you stayed over time a couple days, but you didn’t think it would affect you that badly.

When you finally arrive at the stop near your apartment, you’re almost in a zombie-like state, trudging through some of the snow that has started to stick. The only thing keeping your eyes open was the obnoxious chattering of your teeth.

It feels like a millennia by the time you’ve reached your front door, hands shaking as you attempt to unlock it. You’re partly surprised you didn’t drop your keys. The moment you step into your home, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

From the lingering scent of your peppermint and vanilla candle to the warmth of the building’s heating, you felt like you’d just been cuddled by a teddy bear. You shrug off your coat and hang it on the set of hooks beside the front door, leaving your shoes on the rack just beneath. Your sock clad feet drag you towards the kitchen, where an unopened bottle of wine awaits you.

You’re tempted to just drink straight from the bottle, but you didn’t want to get shitfaced, you just wanted to feel relaxed. Nevertheless, you pour yourself a… hefty… glass and waddle to the bathroom. A mental note was made to thank your coworker for the bath salt and bubble set she got you as a gift, seeing as it was finally being put to good use.

It doesn’t take long for you to peel off your layers of clothing after you’ve turned on the faucet and adjusted the temperature to your preference. You watch with heavy eyelids as the bubbles begin to form along the surface of the water, rising up and filling the tub. You dip your toes in while simultaneously taking a sip of your wine, damn near moaning at how much better you felt.

You press play on one of your playlists and light a candle before finally sinking into the water, succumbing to its serenity. Your eyes start to flutter shut and you don’t even try to fight the sleep that calls your name.

You’re not sure if hours or minutes have passed since you fell asleep, but the creaking of the bathroom door opening stirs you from your slumber. Most people probably would’ve had a bigger reaction, considering someone just walked into the bathroom without checking if it was occupied first. And also because you had assumed you were home alone.

This was one of the various times you wished the earth would just swallow you whole.

Lee Sangyeon stands in the doorway, shoulder resting against the threshold with his arms crossed. His dress shirt from work is unbuttoned all the way to the third from the top, his muscular frame stretching the fabric deliciously. You wondered how he was comfortable, since he wore such tight shirts. Occasionally you truly understood why the term ‘Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer’ existed.

You were extremely thankful that you added bubbles to your bath, the foam covering up your body where the sun usually doesn’t shine. Sangyeon has an amused glint in his eye and even with the fogginess of your partially awake brain coupled with the few sips of wine you’ve had, you know it’s off brand for him.

“S-Sangyeon, what are you doing in here?” You trip over your words, wrapping your arms around yourself tightly.

“Well, I just got home and I was planning on doing the same thing as you,” he rolls his neck as if to display his own tension from a long day. “But it looks like you’ve beat me to it.”

You blink at him. Why was he still standing there? Staring at you like… that?

“Um… Why haven’t you left?” You swallow, but your mouth is dry.

“Is there some space in that bathtub?”

He asks the question so smoothly, the words rolling off of his tongue like he’s asked to join you in the bath on numerous occasions. You gape at him, your head spinning in circles. Perhaps you were still half asleep and your mind was playing tricks on you. That made the most sense. Perfect, sweet roommate Sangyeon would never ask you a question like that.

“I’m sorry?” Part of you feels stupid, gawking at the male and stumbling over your speech. It’s like you’ve completely malfunctioned, every logical point of your body shutting down for unscheduled maintenance. You had to recalibrate your systems fast.

Sangyeon repeats himself, not skipping a beat as he does so. You do a 180, glancing around the room as if someone else was present. You jab a finger into the only exposed part of your chest and then at the water with scrunched eyebrows.

“Yeah, is there some room in there for me to fit? You know, Y/N,” he shrugs, going for the next button on his shirt. “I have seen you naked before.”

You nearly drown yourself on the spot. Lee Sangyeon has seen you naked? This was news to you. Last you checked, neither of you had ever done anything intimate enough for that. He laughs that attractive laugh of his, his eyes forming crescent moons. You’re enticed to drown yourself a second time.

“Y-You have?” This was probably single-handedly the most embarrassing moment of your life.

“To be fair, it was an accident. I walked past your room while you were changing once but you didn’t have the door closed all the way, and well, I am a man so, I couldn’t help but take a peek.” He scratches the back of his neck, letting out a small chuckle. Okay so God definitely had favorites and you weren’t one of them. Nice to know.

He unbuttons another button, stepping closer to you, closing the distance between you. He crouches next to the tub, finally at eye level with you. Oh, what you would give for a moment of this man’s time. Here he was, handing you just that on a silver platter and you were royally fumbling the bag.

“So is that a yes?”

You really don’t trust your own voice, so you merely nod, biting back the urge to groan when he grins at you, standing upright. It’s like you’re stuck in a trance, watching him clear the rest of the buttons of his shirt like light work. The sight of his abdomen on full display has you releasing a tiny squeak. Then comes the unbuckling of his belt and that alone is a mental image you don’t think you could ever forget. You dip your chin into your shoulder, looking away when he strips the rest of his clothes.

You feel him before you hear him, his leg brushing against the back of your arm as he slips behind you into the tub. He exhales deeply, exactly like you did when you got in. You’re as stiff as a board, not sure what you should do with your roommate naked and sitting behind you, sharing bath water like it was a regular Friday night. You keep your focus on the faucet, too afraid to make any sudden movements.

“Relax, N/N,” he pins his chest to your back, hands coming up to massage your shoulders. “You’re so tense.”

The way he works his thumbs into your skin has shivers running down your spine, your entire being feeling like it’s lit up. You suppress a whimper when he kneads a knot just below your neck, squeezing your eyes shut and biting your lip. Before today, you’ve never really thought of Sangyeon in an explicit way. Sure you thought he was extremely handsome, but that had always been just a surface level notion. You’d never fantasized about a crazy, fan-fiction type moment like this. But now that you’re in it, you don’t think your thinking could ever go back to normal. You could never see him as just your handsome roommate.

You have half the mind to scoot into his lap, but it seems like he’s beat you to it, sliding his hands down to your waist and pulling you towards him. Your eyes widen when you feel him, hard and pressed to your lower back. At that, you finally make a noise; something between a strangled moan and a whine.

Sangyeon brings his lips to your ear, grazing them along the shell of it. “Can you feel how much I want you?”

“Y-Yes,” you gasp. “I can feel you.”

This is insanity. Were you still waking up, conjuring up this entire scenario with your half conscious mind? Maybe some sick and deluded higher power wanted you to realize the possibility of having feelings for Sangyeon, and this was their way of doing it.

But then one of his hands trails to your thigh and he pinches you lightly. That’s how you know this is real, this is actually happening. You crane your neck slightly to glance at him. His eyes are darker than usual, a deep brown swimming with lust that almost looks black. It’s similar to how a predator would stare down its prey and it’s a look you could get used to.

Sangyeon’s gaze flickers down to your lips and you just about lose your last bit of clarity, leaning forward to connect your mouths. It’s kind of messy, kind of rough, but the way your stomach twists into knots and goosebumps litter your arms makes you think that the higher being you were cursing minutes ago was actually doing you a huge favor. You’d have to thank them later.

One of Sangyeon’s hands comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone as he does so. Without parting, you turn around in his lap, straddling him as best you can in your limited space. If you thought you felt him before, you definitely feel him now, his cock pulsing against your aching core. Your need was carnal, primal even. He hisses when you grind down on him, gripping your hips to halt you.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, sweetheart.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[girloftheisland]

Scammed on Mercari: How I Fell Victim to Fraud Thanks to Social Engineering

If it's too good to be true, then it probably is.

I had never been scammed before on the web. I thought it was something that happened to boomers with low internet literacy, to those who open suspicious emails with urgent subject lines that impersonate someone they know, asking for help in the form of $100 gift cards. You know, scams like that.

I confess before this incident I hadn't shopped much on Mercari to buy American Girl stuff on the second market. Mercari seemed like a place where everyone tries to squeeze maximum dollars out of a sale. Dolls go for high prices, and rare outfits go for egregious prices.

One day recently I was skimming through listings on Mercari because I had decided that I wanted to find an early Pleasant Company Molly. I found a lot that was labeled as "Molly American Girl Doll by Pleasant Company HUGE LOT" — and you can bet that it was a huge lot. This person was selling a PC Molly, along with most of the things from her collection: furniture, outfits, accessories, and trunk. If that wasn't enough, the person was also selling a grill and picnic set and several modern outfits, including one that I consider the holy grail of Pleasant Company outfits: a complete Earth Day Outfit that speaks to me on a deep level with its hippie style and 90s beatnik vibes.

It may sound silly now, but it was the Earth Day Outfit that sent me over the edge. Here was something that I had been trying to grab at a decent price for ages. The entire lot was listed for over $650 but marked down to around $550. With Mercari's fees and taxes, it would be around $700. That's a lot of money. But there was a lot of bang for the buck here. I thought that maybe someone was clearing out their storage unit and just wanted to get rid of these 90s toys. On top of that, the listing had a notification at the top that read: "Someone has this in their cart."

Sites like Mercari and eBay (well, maybe every consumer site) will use forms of social engineering to entice users to buy. Lower those inhibitors. It happened to me. As soon as I saw that "someone else has this in their cart" message, whether real or generated, my brain froze and my fingers took over. I grabbed the lot in seconds and then triumphantly sat back in my chair when the payment successfully went through, and whoever had the item in their cart (real or generated) was out of luck.

And once that shopper's high was over, reality started to settle in. There were several odd factors about this listing that I should have paid attention to, and usually do when I'm not a goblin chasing after a perfect set. Most collectors will know the tell-tale signs of a fraudulent or questionable listing.

First, and this will be obvious, you probably shouldn't buy from someone who has zero ratings on their seller profile. How can you know that they're reputable? Scammers create new profiles all the time just to sell an item, or a large lot, and then delete the profile once the scam is complete and the money is in their pockets. They can't reuse the same profile every time; otherwise, it'd have a pile of negative reviews, right?

In my case, the listing also had an unanswered question on its page. That's another red flag. Shouldn't the seller communicate with potential buyers? One user had asked if Molly had a white or tan body, and the seller never answered. So if you're not sure if a listing is real or fake, chat up the seller to see what they know about the item. If you get nothing but radio silence, abort the mission.

After completing the purchase, I had immediate doubts, but I couldn't give up the idea that I had just scored an impressive lot and a number of things that I could check off on my collecting list. That's how these scams work: they pull you in and keep you there. The lot was marked "shipped" the next day and dropped off at the USPS the following day, and when viewing the shipment tracker, I had to face yet another red flag. The original listing said the lot was located in Ohio. But the package was dropped off in Tampa, Florida.

Due to Hurricane Helene, it was stuck in Tampa for several days. It was supposed to arrive on a Monday, but that day came and went, and I was getting worried that it got stuck. Understandably, too, since the hurricane devastated the Carolinas and hit Florida hard. I messaged the seller for the first time and asked what they knew about the postal situation down there, and all they replied was: "Hello, it has been delivered."

Ha, delivered!? USPS trackers are decent enough, and this one said it was still in transit and so unequivocally NOT delivered to my doorstep. In retrospect, I imagine that the scammer was probably laughing and enjoying the ride, while I continued to live in a dreamworld where a huge PC Molly lot was heading my way. I didn't reply to the seller, because ironically, the package was delivered that same evening.

I had asked my partner, who was working from home that day, to check our driveway periodically and be on the lookout for a large package. He checked every half hour but found nothing. You see, we live in a rural area. Our mailbox is not at our house but located half a mile down the road in a cluster mailbox where all the houses on our street collect their mail. Small packages are stored in parcel lockers there. Big packages come straight to the house. When my "lot" was delivered, the tracker said it was left at the mailbox. And I can tell you that there could be no way that such a large lot would fit in a tiny parcel locker. It was another red flag.

I got in my car and drove down the road, inserted my key into our mailbox, and found a small bubble envelope addressed to me. I ripped it open right there and stared dumbfounded at not a PC Molly lot, but a $1 Morgan silver dollar coin. I was angry and felt my blood pressure rise, and you'd think that I would wake up there and then, but I was still clinging to the hope that I would get that Molly lot. I just assumed that the seller had sent me the wrong thing. It's okay to laugh.

I drove back home and messaged the seller. I demanded that they send me the correct items or issue a refund ASAP. I showed the coin to my partner, who immediately understood that I had been the victim of a scam. He talked some sense into me, and I slowly realized that he was right. I had fallen hard for the scam and wanted to cling to it even with all the evidence before me.

Plus, I had just lost $700 dollars.

My partner was calm about the situation, but I was pissed. We decided that we would follow protocol and try to get the money back. We read postings on reddit threads about other people who had fallen for Mercari scams and how they resolved them. I followed Mercari's rules and opened a ticket. I asked to return the item and chose one of their predetermined reasons, that the item I received didn't match the listing. It sure as hell didn't.

Mercari approved the request and sent me a label to ship back this stupid $1 coin. However, on the return label I saw the final red flag. If you remember, the lot was supposed to ship from Ohio but was actually dropped off at a USPS in Tampa, Florida. The return address on the new label was listed for Hawaii. I googled the address and quickly realized that it wasn't valid. The street address was for a block of condos, but the condo or apartment number on the address didn't exist. How was I supposed to return this item, have it delivered, and then receive the refund?

This is how scammers get away with it. According to Mercari's policy, you have three days after receiving an item to try to return it. Otherwise, the sale will be marked as final, and the money goes to the seller. The sale will also be marked as final if you rate the seller. I became worried that the package would get stuck in USPS limbo because it didn't have a valid address, and then the scammer would reap the reward.

I wouldn't go down easily, though. I was going to kick and scream until the situation was rectified. I would make no future contact with the seller. I refused to mail off the item and renewed my ticket with Mercari. I presented all the evidence. Listed off the hallmarks of the scam. Waited for them to do something.

Luckily, the next day I received a refund notification and a note on the ticket from a real person at Mercari that said the sale was cancelled due to the safety of the transaction and other jargon, which all meant that they realized it was a fraudulent post and would delete the listing and the scammer's account.

It was a relief. It was a hard lesson to learn.

The moral of this story is that scammers are attracting unassuming buyers from all sorts of collecting worlds. Even American Girl/Pleasant Company. Try to be safe and savvy when browsing the web. Don't be like me and jump on something that's too good to be true. Because it probably is.

But to end on a positive note, the $1 silver dollar Morgan coin that was shipped in place of the PC Molly lot could be worth $300+ due to its rarity. So that's something.

[summerlycoris]

The facts about Vanessa’s history prior to Security Breach. (And a summary of the different companies involved in AR and HW.)

I won’t lie, this (hopefully!) effortpost was prompted by watching Dual Processes latest video about Vanessa, where they state that ‘In AR, Vanessa pretends to be an IT Rep to trick Silver Parasol Games into giving her full access to the game.’ Which was… interesting, to me. Because it showed Vanessa’s email to Steve Wilson, who works for Anna Kwemto, who works for…

We don’t actually know the company she, or her underlings, work for.

Anyway, this isn’t made to target any specific people- Dual Processes’s video about Vanessa is brilliant (no spoilers- go watch it!) despite my quibbles at the very start. And the corporate chains in HW and AR, are confusing and easily mistaken- to the point the fnaf wikia has a lot of errors I needed to shift through while researching this topic…

I’ll lay all my chips on the table straight up- I had to find out a lot of Vanessa's backstory just before Ruin released, because I wasn’t really following fnaf until after Ruin was announced. I’d dipped around the HW days.

But I’d noticed a fair bit that, because few people played AR, and even those who did play AR likely didn’t see all the emails, that there are a lot of assumptions about who works for who, and who does what. False info that led me into believing a lot of misleading information about Vanessa before I looked into it more.

This misinfo even goes as far back as HW- do you think Vanessa works for Silver Parasol Games in HW? It’s a common belief- but I think it’s a misconception. And I’ve brought proof to the table.

Anyway, the point of this is to lay out anything about who works for who, and where they work. Because corporate chains are complicated, in a series that is already complicated enough!

First things first, what companies are we dealing with?

Well, there’s Silver Parasol Games. Which gets shut down and brought out during HW’s development. (Tape Girls Tapes- 1, 10, 15) I’m not gonna try to put years of operation because… no. But I do need to make it clear it shuts down prior to Vanessa beta testing the game.

People working at this company named in HW include Dale, Jeremy, and Tape Girl. If you go off the scrapped fake website for Silver Parasol Games, then the company also includes Gabriella, Tonya, and Aiden. (One of the two girls is likely Tape Girl.)

There is also Another Potential Development Studio, which is unnamed but suggested to be buying out Silver Parasol Games. (Tapes 10, 15). We don’t know much about this company other than Vanessa must work here during HW. [She never mentions a boss, or coworkers with this company.]

For AR, there is Anna Kwemto’s company, which is a subcontractor working for Fazbear Entertainment. It goes unnamed in AR.

The people working at this company include Anna Kwemto, Daniel Rocha, Raha Salib, Steve Wilson, and Mark Cho.

DLZ Shipping Solutions- a company that shipped animatronics parts to… they don’t say which company. But we at least know which person- Lisa Jameson (regional director of logistics for an unknown company.)

Their employees include Jimmy Hauss, (before getting fired) and James Strand.

Fazbear Entertainment- has a variety of teams and job positions. I’ll try to list them all here, though not in order of operation sorry. Kayla Stringer- Legal. Vanessa A- Security. Luis Cabrera- IT. Shonda Ford- legal. Greg Abernathy- IT. Dan Ximenez- IT. Jerome Khan- Accounting. James Campbell- IT. Todd C- Office Staff. Aiden Jackson- IT. Ivan Gagarin- Accounting. Diannah Larimore- Marketing (laid off). Maria A- Marketing (laid off.). Cheryl M- Office Staff. Anand G- Legal.

All from here on out have unknown job roles- Kenneth Freeman, Christie Buckley, Ben Pulley, Karen Soto, Brenda Tanaka, Stanley Howser, Jack Sims, Jay Murphy, Charles Ramirez. Jim Campbell.

There are also basic login details from some unknown people, from another unnamed company in ‘Security Incident Log- September.’ They are J_B and A_L.

There are also more workers who don’t have a specific company they’re tied to- but are working with the Funtime Service. These include Nora- R&D. Tristan- Compliance. Charles- QA. Isolde- Customer Service.

Okay. So that’s the raw data. Kowalski- analysis!

Jim and James Campbell are… interesting. They could be brothers. They could just have the same last name. They could just be a mistake- someone misspelling a name and accidentally making two characters where there should be one.

Honestly, I’m assuming it’s a mistake. AR was being made in that timeframe where Scott was pretty hands off about the story, and barely communicating with Steel Wool about SB. This is likely just a mistake that no one cared enough about enough to notice or correct. Like Luis being in IT in AR, then in Marketing in SB. Without any foreshadowing that he was transferring.

I wish they’d clarified which company Lisa Jameson, Nora, Tristan, Charles and Isolde worked for- or if they worked together, even. It sounds like they all work with the funtime service, based on the emails. But I can’t be sure of it, because none of the Nora/Tristan/Isolde/Charles emails reference Lisa, and vise versa.

*sighs*

It’d be useful to know if they work for Anna Kwemto’s company, Fazbear Entertainment, or somewhere else entirely. Because that’s the key to figuring out whether Anna Kwemto’s lot were scanning circuit boards for game development (unlikely for the timeline- but as said in the Jim and James rant- Scott wasn’t communicating with his teams. And its unlikely Steel Wool was communicating with Illumix either.) Or whether they were scanning circuit boards to recreate animatronics for the funtime service.

If Lisa was working for Anna- then it’s fairly cut and dry. They’re working in a warehouse storing animatronics, with an office attached for more hands-off staff.

If Lisa was working for Fazbear Entertainment in-house, then that leaves the possibility that Anna Kwemto’s lot weren’t running the Funtime Service. (Since Lisa’s emails imply her warehouse has ‘active animatronics’ too- including Bonnie eating a cat… which… I could’ve done without knowing thanks game.) And the Nora/etc emails explicitely talks about the new animatronics being sent out with the Funtime Service.

Also, sucks not knowing for sure who and where from J_B and A_L are. I’m assuming that they’re unnamed people from Fazbear Entertainment’s IT department- considering when Vanessa hijacks herself an IT email address, it has the same layout (V_A). But it’s not confirmed and no one with these initials is written as working for Fazbear. (Unless I missed something- please let me know!)

With Anna Kwemto’s company- it scans circuit boards of animatronics, which is why people might confuse them with Silver Parasol Games. However, they are never stated to be involved in game development. And by the time Vanessa has left Another Potential Development Studio to join Fazbear Entertainment, Silver Parasol Games should no longer exist as a separate entity. (Considering it was going to be bought out by Another Potential Development Studio while Vanessa was working there.) Timeline-wise, Anna Kwemto being the head of Silver Parasol Games doesn’t add up. And circuit boards could be scanned for a variety of reasons- say, if you’re making replicas of old animatronics for the funtime service.

(But that’s getting into speculation- while it’s implied they’re a subcontractor running the Funtime Service for Fazbear in the emails, there’s no explicit proof. Only the email from Raha Salib to the rest of the crew talking about an unknown user giving commands to all ‘active animatronics’ really gives us a hint to them running the Funtime Service. And that doesn’t neccesarily mean active animatronics are from the Funtime Service.)

‘Where are you getting a timeline from Summerly?’ from the games.

Vanessa gets infected by Glitchtrap, because circuit boards are sent to Silver Parasol Games and scanned into the Freddy Fazbear Virtual Experience. (The in universe VR game Vanessa’s working on) Vanessa can’t start being possessed by Vanny and acting weird around Luis before she get’s possessed- so HW must happen before the storyline events of AR.

During the story of AR, Vanessa (most likely Vanny puppeting her) locks out all of Anna’s workers, including Anna, after they scan some circuit boards and got a virus. Because they’ve been locked out, all ‘active animatronics’ become impossible to control. Around this time, either Vanny or GGY sends out a data package using a new account- ‘_pizzaplex’ that presumably 1. Targets the pizzaplex currently in the process of either being built or operating, and 2. Infects the animatronics there.

(Again- Scott was hands off during this time. I know this contradicts The Storyteller.)

If it was any other way around, Vanessa wouldn’t be infected with Glitchtrap during AR. She’d just be… being extremely weird for no good reason. Doesn’t make sense storywise.

Ultimately, these random companies and workers aren’t important except for acting as reference points- who works where and whos coworkers with who?

The important part is Vanessa. And this post does have something to say about Vanessa. Mainly, what I’ve already included- no, she did not work for Silver Parasol Games. But also something I had falsely believed prior to doing this research- she didn’t work at Fazbear Entertainment before working as a security guard there during AR, either. Or at least, that’s never proven. She works for the company that buys out Silver Parasol Games. Then probably job hops between games, to get into a position that is more useful for Glitchtrap. A position at Fazbear Entertainment.

It’s never explicitly stated that Vanessa (or Vanny) is sending the tutorial emails to customers of the funtime service. But considering the focus on collecting remnant, the sender being ‘FAZ//...AR ENT##AIN_!MENT’, and the repetitions of ‘funFUNFUNfun’ and similar throughout those emails… It’s likely Vanny is sending out those emails after hijacking the funtime service animatronics. (Which would explain why she wanted to work at FazEnt, and why she locked out Anna Kwemto’s lot if they were running the Funtime Service animatronics for FazEnt.) Basically, in order to control the animatronics, she needed to control the subcontractor (s) and have a position in FazEnt to exploit.

Why did she want to control the animatronics? Remnant, probably. The modified emails sent from ‘FAZ//...AR ENT##AIN_!MENT talk about collecting remnant. And some of the animatronics sent out through the Funtime Service emulate the Funtime Animatronics… like Funtime Freddy and Circus Baby. Who would have stomach hatches, if whoever replicated them didn’t think too hard about what they were building.

Basically, Vanny needed remnant. Possibly for rebuilding Afton. Possibly for fixing the Mimic. She could risk herself getting remnant personally… or she could get some machines to do it for her. These machines would also be useful for, say, disposing of some meddling therapists at a later date.

This may even explain what the scooper's there for in Ruin. Vanny may have been using the scooper on the Funtime Service rentals to receive their remnant after they killed someone.

Anyway, that’s all I got for now.

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 17-19 and final thoughts previous chapter

it is done. the final installment of on fire is here and i am finally free.

thank you @dear-massacre for listening to me rant about this book and encouraging me to finish it.

and a thank you to @give-emhalekid for inspiring this re-read of on fire to begin with. i can finally answer your asks appropriately!

in addition to my notes and final thoughts on this novel i did make contact with the author nancy holder and have been sitting on that email for over a month now. so i'll be talking about that too.

anyway.

We start this chapter in Kate’s narration in yet another flashback to six years prior. This is when she gets information out of Mr. Harris. 

The bar is called Randy Andy’s by the way. Which, and it may just be me, makes me fully believe this bar is playing Brooks and Dunn's 1991 hit Boot Scootin' Boogie on repeat.

She mentions that Harris hadn’t seen her around the school but she had pinpointed him quickly as someone weak and that she could use. This tracks.

She gets what she wants out of Harris and as she leaves the bar (which is handily across from her apartment) she sees Derek leaving with his school bag. She freaks out worried he’s onto her or found something in her apartment. 

She follows him home just to be sure she’s in the clear. Like a freak.

When she returns she finds a note Derek left her explaining what happened. 

However, feeling as though she could’ve been exposed, Kate decides to up the timetable of setting the fire. 

Because we cannot have nice things.

We then get a small scene where she’s filling the gas cans and apparently Alt Version of Mr. McCall is the gas station attendant but he’s on the phone arguing with Melissa over money and blaming her for things. He's actually worse than canon Mr. McCall which I didn't think was possible.

Kate goes on to have her inner celebration and reminisce over her seduction of Derek. You know, just girlie things.

Once again the timeline is throwing me off. Holder places the Hale fire near Wolf Moon which makes the show starting around the same time a nice call forward but she also has homecoming around the same time. Derek muses about Kate being a chaperone for the dance and Laura is at school that morning to attend a committee meeting for the dance. For me, Homecoming was always during the Football season in September. Not that I ever went but this in January if it’s the Wolf Moon. Football season is over. This doesn't make any sense to me.

We finally return to both the present day and to Derek and Stiles. It’s been 84 years. I've aged lifetimes.

Derek tells Stiles that you can’t trust human women and leaves him once more as Derek has caught the Alpha’s scent. This is Bizzaro Derek.

Holder has given us two different wolf references mere pages from each other. She has Derek listen to Wolfgang Gartner and Stiles apparently playing Wolfenstein on his phone (this may be Wolfenstien RPG which apparently came out on mobile in 2008).

I looked up Wolfgang Gartner -- because this is what I do -- and according to Wikipedia the earliest single he released under this particular name was in 2007 which would be after the fire. He does however have a single called Hot for Teacher. I am going to fight the author.

We’re back in Scott’s narration now. He’s not having a good time. There’s smoke making everything hazy and he senses the werewolf that bit him. He calls it his “waking, walking nightmare.” and the wolf side of him is conflicted by the threat but also by the sense of pack. 

Through the haze Scott does see the Alpha and they make eye contact. Once again Scott refuses to kill like in Pack Mentality. He references the incident by name. 

A burning tree falls down because of course it does. Some of the sparks get on Scott so he has to remove his jacket and shirt. This is Teen Wolf after all.

Scott fights the shift trying to figure out how to save himself and Allison from the blaze.

Allison begins to become overwhelmed by the smoke and goes into a coughing fit.’ Which, heh, kinda fits with Scott having asthma previously before the bite.

Next chapter opens back on Jackson who is still having a very bad time. His vision is doubled and tripled as he passes out.

Scott remembers that Allison once did gymnastics and suggests that she use those skills to get out so he lifts her up and she somersaults out I suppose. Like a goddamned Power Ranger.

I swear Stiles is the author’s least favorite. Stiles hears a howl and begins looking for Scott and or Derek. He’s yelling for them both as he attempts to track Scott’s phone. Derek shows up with a “Yeah.” 

Though I’ll admit this exchange made me laugh:

“Yeah,” Derek said, bursting from the trees. He was wolfed out, and Stiles let fly with a high-pitched, girly scream. “Was that you?” Stiles yelled. “No, that was you,” Derek said in disgust. “I mean the howl.”

Derek tries to assure Stiles the Alpha needs Scott but Stiles reminds him that he doesn’t need Allison. Derek says he also doesn’t need Allison which is a sentiment that Stiles disagrees with. Canon Derek would never. 

They talk about mountain ash because Derek recognizes it from the pictures Scott was able to send. The explanation holds up fairly well to what we’re told in the show.

They find Scott and Stiles tries to instruct him but he’s in a state of panic. Derek points out that he cannot make sense of what Stiles is trying to tell him due to the panic. 

E x c u s e M e. What the fuck did I just read?

Stiles wants to call 911 so a fire truck can gain access but Derek warns against it due to Scott being shifted. Derek then takes a swing at Stiles, Stiles shoves him and Derek falls off the cliff. 

I am so tired. 

This is a Stiles accurate line at least: “So many times, Stiles had wished for Derek to up and die. But he hadn’t meant for him to really die. Except that maybe had meant for him to really die. Just maybe not in pain, and not in front of Stiles.”

Scott pounces on Derek and they tussle. Stiles is conflicted on who he’s cheering for. 

Scott doesn’t have a shirt on.

And a moment later --

“A wind washed through the tops of the bushes and showered Derek with fiery debris, setting his jacket on fire.”

Derek rips off his jacket (RIP jacket) and his shirt now leaving him also shirtless. 

I see you Teen Wolf. The Weather Girls It's Raining Men is the unofficial anthem.

Stiles calls 911 because he clearly is the one holding the brain cell.

We’re back to Allison. She’s running through the woods calling for help when she spots what could only be the Alpha as she calls it an evil animal. It stalks closer to her but it moves away and she sees the wolf that she and Scott had seen earlier. 

The “good” wolf’s presence seems to scare off the Alpha. It then guides Allison to safety. This wolf is never explained but it gives me Expecto Patronum vibes.

Except her safety is Kate. 

Allison is now lying her ass off about why she was at the Preserve rather than with Lydia and Kate’s questioning her hard.

I had forgotten about Jackson. The van exploded by the way as the police came into the parking lot. He feels momentarily guilty about Cassie then he promptly passes out, which honestly I don’t blame him for. He’s had a shitty day.

Meanwhile back at Werewolf Rumble Derek is able to bring Scott back to himself and just as they begin to try to escape they accidentally do the memory ritual via Derek’s claws accidentally slicing Scott’s wrist and you know what? I don’t care anymore. 

We get one last flashback to Derek and Laura post fire. They’re at their burned home and insane with grief. In the remains Derek finds that stupid ring he gave Kate because she’s so evil and terrible. Like. Fucking hell. 

We cut to Jackson being taken to the hospital and Lydia ignoring the paramedics to ride with him. He feels guilty about Cassie’s death and tries to convince himself there was nothing he could do. In truth, there probably wasn’t. He ends up wondering if Bailey had really known about his biological father.

Allison at this point does in fact find it sus that Kate just happened to be out driving to the fire but she doesn’t examine anything too closely yet as she finds Scott and Stiles. She’s relieved that Scott's okay. 

The book ends with Derek watching the scene from afar. Kate catches his eye and taunts him one last time because of course Kate does. Derek doesn’t respond. 

The final line is kind of baller though. “There are more of us, bent on payback. And domination. And death. And we are coming.”

Some parting thoughts:

I remember mostly enjoying this book back when I first read it upon it's release in 2012. I think it's because I was so thirsty for more backstory on the characters and more adventures in the world.

There's a post somewhere on my blog about the book somewhere but re-reading ten years later I was definitely more critical of it and found it to be a frustrating endeavor. Maybe it's because I'm older or maybe it's because the show is over.

Largely I think it's because the book itself had no real resolution. It couldn't but I'll explain that later.

Even if there's reason for the open-ended nature of the novel it's still genuinely frustrating especially because this is a stand alone novel with no follow up.

I thought there were too many flashbacks and not enough time spent on the actual plot. Jackson is the entire plot yet we spend very little time with him in the book and he never actually interacts with the main cast except with Lydia through a text. Fucking wild. Some of Jackson's best character stuff is when he's bouncing off the other characters so it was a real shame he didn't interact with them.

The biggest issue I have though is with Derek's characterization. It just doesn't even seem like Derek to me even early season 1 Derek. The whole human slander isn't ever a thing with him.

I loathed how Laura was handled. The information we have on Laura doesn't even fill a thimble but I'd rather not know a damn thing than this version where she said the word "mateable" and isn't all that bothered by her sixteen year old brother being involved with not only an older woman but a teacher that has authority over him. Her reaction shuts Derek down so he no longer expresses his misgivings. I couldn't tell if this was on purpose or not.

I also didn't like how Stiles felt like the unfavorite here. Holder, I think had a decent grasp of his voice, but not how others reacted to him.

I also have mixed feelings about the world building Holder did via the werewolves. There were aspects I did like but overall I found it too heavy handed and too patriarchal. I think the direction the show took it was better. Talia Hale is a much better and more interesting choice.

I still do not understand why this book was commissioned at all. It isn't canon and it doesn't even follow the plot of season 1. Basically this was a promotional tool that fell short in my opinion. A waste of Holder's talent and the reader's interest.

However, there are reasons for some of this though like I said.

Back in November when I was in the middle of the book I did some research because I was insanely curious as to why this book was written the way it was. I found Nancy Holder's website which had a contact form.

I screwed up my courage and sent her a brief message asking about why the novel only referred to the first 5 episodes while largely being it's own plot. It's very unusual for a tie in novel

She answered really quickly and while her explanation didn't surprise me it still sort of did.

Essentially she was given a lot of freedom in developing her own plot as she was instructed to not give away any spoilers for the second half of the season. Which is why there's hardly anything to do with the Alpha plot line and Peter is largely left alone.

According to Holder, she is the one who asked Jeff if she would be able to fill in Derek and Kate's backstory so that whole plot is her own creation and he told to "go for it".

I think a lot of fanon seems to possibly originate with her due to this freedom which is interesting.

She's a huge fan of Teen Wolf and I found it super endearing even if I didn't like all her writing choices.

In conclusion:

[localgremlinboy]

Holy rogues headcanons Batman we've reached a part 5! Thanks again to everyone who likes my silly ideas! Here’s some more!

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]

- Joker has a license but it's one of those joke chuck e cheese kids print out licenses 

- Harley has a “federal boobie inspector” badge, Ivy does not find it as hilarious as she does

- Joker makes his goons carry around headshots he can autograph and give out

- penguin writes "tweet tweet" with a penguin emoji on the end of all his tweets as a sign off. If it doesn't fit, he adds a second tweet to put in the sign off

- Oswald also is the kind of person who tweets goodnight and good morning to his followers. Twoface criticized him once for it and was blocked. Tbh Oswald blocks anyone who “harshes his space”

- Just to upset Riddler, Scarecrow talks about electronics like "the computer", "the internet", "the email". He'll be like "oh I guess I'll have to message you through the email" and Riddler has a meltdown

- Joker is constantly trying to start nicknames for himself that no one agrees to. The one name he gets off the ground gets credited to Batman

- At one point, all the rogues agree to doing a documentary series with a bunch of college film students (it's basically what we do in the shadows but with rogues). They frame it like, "a day in the life of *insert rogue here*. Twoface/Harvey's starts off with, "firstly, we'd like to clear up the rumor of any possible.. personal relationship with Bruce Wayne.." and as he starts rambling about how completely professional the rumor is, the camera zooms in on a half naked Bruce trying to sneak out of the back office window. Harley shows up in every episode via schengens and keeps waving at the camera. Scarecrow declines for his privacy but still ends up in most of Riddler's episode, judging him in the background and half of their interactions become meme clips and reaction gifs. Catwoman surprisingly agrees to let them follow her through a heist but she also takes the time to clear up the rumor that she has a friendship with Bruce Wayne, which is CLEARLY ridiculous according to her.. and the camera again zooms in on a cracked doorway that shows Bruce playing with her cats. When he notices the camera, he again tries to escape out the window and falls

- Scarecrow retweets Riddler memes

- Penguin consistently tries to go on podcasts and talkshows to prove he's not doing crimes and either accidentally admits to something way more illegal than what he's defending or he'll make an embarrassing meme out of himself trying to relate to youths

- Oswald also has a TikTok but it's the equivalent of older celebrities getting one. He has no idea what he's doing but he is trying SO hard! Selina is constantly goofing on his content hardcore on her account

- Ivy breaks into the botanical gardens & random establishments with plants to take care of them

- Riddler has travel boggle in his car

- Harley had a steampunk cosplay phase in early college and is super second hand embarrassed about it.. until she learns Ivy also had a steampunk cosplay phase and high key indulges her by putting on stupid sexy steampunk outfits

- Riddler orders a lot of late night Chinese food and the restaurant totally knows it's him but also like he never robs them & he's a good tipper. But he saves the fortune cookies for Harley, who eats them like chips when she visits. (she and Ivy come over to do puzzles with him and sometimes Scarecrow). But Riddler puts out a bowl of fortune cookies for her and she loves them so much

- Riddler is banned from several establishments because he refuses to apologize for various arguments

[pallanophblargh]

I have so many things I need to catch up on and respond to (I have severely neglected my email which is NOT good) so I apologize. I will get around to it this week I hope! 

Old followers will know that this is the norm for me this time of year as I once again rally the strength to try and make the most of my severely neglected little urban hellscape of a yard. I mean, how do you recover from the knowledge that ALL of the native milkweed species you planted over the last 4 years has died, never to return? (I can’t stop being sad about this you have no clue, I had 5+ species native to the state!) All that remains is the common milkweed volunteers that have come up wherever they feel like it, and I’m obligated to let them do as they wish. Feels bad, man. I would have killed to see that purple milkweed flower.

Have spent the last 2+ weeks getting my veggie garden and containers up and running (still need to sow beans and more kale) and I’ve got more natives/ornamentals to go into my nearly cleared side yard. I’m really really REALLY hoping my new virginia bluebells don’t die with this heat/likely drought, but I’m pretty confident everyone else will come through okay. I mean, if the cardinal flower can come back for the 3rd year like a champ, what’s their excuse? (Dear self: be thankful, the cardinal flower likes you and you know it shouldn’t and that’s rad. Also the prairie smoke plant is starting to spread and that’s really cool. So is the hepatica. And your ferns are getting big and beautiful! So remember what’s working out, ok?)

I just want my little plot to be the hopping hot spot for all the local wildlife. It’s nice to see so many critters anywhere I look but I know I can do better and that requires A LOT of work. I’ll never be anything akin to a master gardener, but I like to think I’m learning a lot every day and working WITH nature instead of against it. Battling invasives is one hell of task. (Rot in hell, creeping bellflower!)

Now if only it would rain, and I can find a way to get a rain barrel setup! (No gutters in my back yard to access for rain is a major L...)

[black-wolf-spirit-art]

It's okay to have some miscommunication and miss some details on some parts. As long as you communicate further to fix an issue, everything is okay!

Since there is money involved, the matter on the situation is much more important, definitely, and the client is the boss.. but don't beat yourself up for this, okay? Mistakes happens and you went through a rough one...

Just take the time to talk things out and take as much details as possible next time so you can prevent unnecessary comes and goes.

Just please understand the client like the client understands you too so everyone gets a win!/lh

Hi there! I assume this was about the Afreakingdorks post. Thank you that's very sweet. And thank you for reaching out.

There was absolutely some miss communication between the two of us and I adapted to all of her requests as best I could. The issues arose when she requested more than 3 edits past the sketch phase. In my price sheet I state that they are alowed unlimited edits in the sketch phase, then 3 free edits past the sketch stage, but after 3 edits I would need to start charging for my time. This is when the issues began because they were unwilling to pay for edits but insisted, I make them for free. When they were unwilling to compromise, and the conversation was seeming to go downhill I agreed to show them the flats layer to prove I did in fact add gray to their Sona's fur and reduced the opacity in the light layers to make them show more. I also emailed the files to them with the edit function enabled so they could mess with the files any way they pleased since it was not quite what they had wanted. I also offered them a 50% refund for the piece which they refused. I know they were also talking about the file "conveniently appearing" after they harassed me on 2 different tumblr accounts. But they didn't consider that I had sent them 3 high resolution PNG's that take a few minutes to send over. So I guess to her it looked like they just appeared after she started spamming me on her two other accounts.

To be perfectly clear to any of her followers that came to my page due to this altercation. She received several WIP's. She made edits to those WIP's which I then made, and she approved of them/ gave the thumbs up for me to continue the illustration. This happened several times during the sketch phase and 3 times during the line art phase. She then received said finished piece but requested more edits for free. When I told her I couldn't make any more edits for free she got upset. She requested I send what I had to her email which I did, and she received it. The transaction was completed.

She also showed screenshots of our conversation but cut them up and rearranged them to make it look like I was taking advantage of her on her blog.

I've been receiving commissions for over 5 years and never had an issue with a customer. I'm always willing to compromise with the customer as well. But once it was clear she was trying to get more work for free and continued to gaslight me in the conversation, it was time for the transaction to end. They paid for a fully rendered illustration with two characters and two side images. I illustrated the background for free for them. Thats the full image they received. I would share our screenshots as well and the image itself but since It was an NSFW piece and there are minors following me I do not want to expose the imagery to on this platform.

There were several instances where they were directing me to manga/comic style while contradicting themselves and insisting I draw it in my own style and liked where the piece was going which added another layer of confusion.

All and all this has absolutely been an interesting customer experience. If she wants to moan about how I hurt her reputation and sladerd her good name, she has ever right and I certainly won't stop her. It's disappointing to see from a 31 year old adult. But what can you do, I'm not willing to add to her pitty party.

I'm sorry to keep going on about this. That was a long post and I really appreciate the fact her followers are willing to stand up for her so much.

I'm just an illustrator she commissioned to draw her sona having sex with Donnie from ROTTMNT in a bathroom stall. I'm not interested in making this into a whole ordeal.

[mariacallous]

Got the following email from my supervisor this morning (some edits by me to remove potentially identifying information:

Hi Sean,

The overall team director and I met yesterday to review the SharePoint file structure. Firstly, just wanted to truly thank you for gathering all of this information! When we were going through it, we got so excited about how much having all of this information in one hub will be helpful for our staff (knowing it is an ever evolving site!).

As we were going through it, we started to realize the amount of overlap with the CRM process discovery, e.g. intake, design review, etc. So given that these efforts are relatively simultaneous, we wanted to take a look to see if we could rearrange the files to be in a more sequential folder structure (which I know we have gone back and forth on in the past. This structure will better align with the process mapping from theCRM side, while still maintaining clear ownership for the populators (aka the relevant division overseeing the "design and environmental review" folder.

Take a look and let us know of any thoughts / feedback! Also had a few specific questions we wanted your thoughts on that we can discuss at some point today.

Thanks!

I'm skeptical of the benefits and overlap they mention, I'm not sure they need to align with the other project, and I don't think the ownership of folders by "populators" is clear now, with how they made the changes.

But I don't care anymore. Every project or work I get asked to do and get involved with seems to end up like this, and I'm tired of working and investing in something and feeling or having any level of responsibility or enthusiasm and having that ruined or thrown in my face.

The "gathering all of the information" also feels backhanded, because I also had it organized and set up until you decided that needed to be changed.

But whatever.

[herbgerblin]

Hi Herb!! I was wondering if you had any advice on opening commissions? I enjoy your art immensely and you were one of the first people I thought of to ask since I know you do commissions on occasion

Sorry if this is totally weird, I am just at a complete loss! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

These are things I wish I had figured out when I started selling art commissions. Also, feel free to use my current commission form to pattern your own. (also if anyone >.> wants to commission me, I am open <.<)

Step 1: Write a Terms of Service

Good terms of service will manage the expectations of your clients, establish a level of professionalism, and protect you if someone tries to argue something already made clear in writing. You can keep your ToS really simple, but it's good practice to include the following:

What kind of art you will/won't do (I don't do nfts)

Estimated duration of the project (2-4 weeks is my M.O.)

Number of revisions (more than 3, I add a fee)

When and how often you will update the client

Rights that you retain as an artist/permit to the client

Note: This mainly applies to personal/non-commercial work. If you are approached to make art for a game/magazine/website, do a ton more research. You will need to write out a contract that makes things Boringly Clear, and you will want to retain all of your rights as an artist.

Step 2: PRICES (scream)

Everyone starts out underselling. I'm underselling (I'm trying to get better.) Just go at your own pace. Look at what other artists are offering, but don't just look at the quality of their work. Think about your turnaround time, your style, and your target audience. If you are a fast worker or very detailed, that's worth a pay bump. Niche communities will pay solid money for artists to cater to them. So for example, if you draw fetish art, you have more room to charge higher.

ALWAYS GET PAYMENT UP FRONT. You can offer half upfront and half upon completion. If it's a big or long-term project, it's okay to go 30/70. BUT NEVER START WORK WITHOUT SOME SORT OF COMPENSATION. I just had a client that has not paid me the 2nd half and they are blacklisted. This rarely happens but it does happen.

Once you think you've got a price chart you feel comfortable with, add $20. Do it, even if it feels wrong. You may have to pay transaction fees, or the work (often) takes longer than expected. It'll be a small mercy to yourself to account for these things. Raise your prices a little bit each year because you are growing in experience and inflation (scream) is a thing that affects the arts too.

Step 3: INTEGRATE AND AUTOMATE

I wish I had done this step years ago, but I slacked off, and therefore staying organized was a nightmare. The less "business" stuff you have to do manually, the more time you can focus on "creative" stuff.

Make a google form. Make it as easy for the client to input information as possible. In the settings, set it so that responses will go to an excel file. The questions you ask will be the titles of the fields, so keep them short and easy to read. Reference image attachments will save to google drive.

You can set it up so that you will get an email whenever you get a new response (you might want to make a separate email account specifically for commissions.) Prewrite confirmation responses and save them as templates so that you're not writing the same email to clients over and over again.

Set reminders for responding to clients, requesting payment, and finishing work. This can be through google calender or some other app. You are responsible for facilitating communication. Even if the email is just, "Hey, just letting you know the work is still in progress, I will send you a wip in 1-2 days." Client assurance is high priority.

I use paypal invoice for payments. It means I have to pay a transaction fee, but I factor that into my prices. It also ensures that I have clear documentation for orders, I can send reminders easily if I haven't been paid, and it just looks more professional overall. You can use whatever service feels most comfortable, just make sure you practice good bookkeeping (*stares at my taxes in horror*)

Step 4: Mockups and Descriptions

Provide examples of the work that you are going to. Make a mockup of busts/half body/full body, etc. Don't include anything you don't intend to actually produce.

Make sure that your form includes room to answer EVERY question about the commission that you might have. This will reduce the amount of back and forth you need to have with your client. You want to be able to get that request, confirm it, send that invoice, and jump on it ASAP.

Step 5: Start small, be honest, be firm

If you haven't done commissions before, have a limited number of slots available. Take break time after you've finished a certain amount. Don't languish over an art piece. At some point, it will be as done as it can be. Send it to the client, and keep rolling.

If you feel like you are getting overwhelmed, tell your client. It's bad practice to go on hiatus and not notify them while they're waiting on an update. If you genuinely forget to touch base with them, do so as soon as possible. Apologize, then finish the work as soon as you can. Refund if you think that's the most polite route, but completing the task is usually more appreciated.

Be cordial, but firm. People will try to bully you over little things, but don't give in. Ignore folks who say your prices are too high. Make it clear that if they ask for more than what is agreed, you will charge a fee. If you feel like a request is sketchy, get a second opinion.

obligatory paypal link: help me pay kravitz jr's vet bills

[bacchicly]

Email/text to my boss I am posting here instead of editing ad nosium and agonizing whether to send it not send. Keeping it in my drafts is not a strong enough "tonic" / interrupter of the behavior I am trying to stop/explain.

Note: I just realised half way through that I am literally writing the sfd (shitty first draft) that Brené Brown talks about and it is working. I am not sure if I am chuffed or irritated.

Hi, My daighter was sick yesterday (she is back at school today). I then allowed myself to fall into the "I will log in and do the last few things I promised to do just before I logged off on Monday - as soon as I have just done xyz " trap. Which is, of course, a shame trigger itself, which then makes it harder to stop the cycle of behavior I am trying to reduce in myself (not following through on promises, not informing proactively as soon as I realise I am not doing what I said I would do, not setting clear boundaries between home and work) - all of which I am clearly not doing as successfully as I would like to be is another shame trigger in itself.

I also am super frustrated with myself because my usual strategies aren't working (or I am not practicing them correctly) to interrupt the cycle and I am just getting more and more anxious - which is in itself perpetuating the cycle.

And the pure question of should I "hide my challenges" or "proactively disclose the situation" is creating even more "noise" in my brain. I am also starting to play the mental game of "if they really needed me they would reach out" and it's sinister shittier cousin "if they cared about me and trusted me they would have reached out to ask if I was ok when I ghosted them". And then I "have to" take time to argue with those stories I am making up since I am aware they are stories but also that I am trying to be true to myself and try to trust my impulses... which is time consuming and awful too.

It's feels like the behavioural equivalent of feeling like I need to smash into the boards to stop because I haven't learned to stop properly on skates.

Anyways - in an attempt.to both be kind to myself and clear with you. I need to:

Check if cats need crunchies and laundry.

Eat

Then at 2pm exactly I will log on and do 3 things:

Review my email and teams (this is the first source of my anxiety/procrastination loop) because I am afraid that I will be "in trouble" or that there will be a surprise that I will not be able to handle. (I still don't trust others to speak up for themselves or go the extra mile - whether going the extra mile is actually required is moot - I still feel that it is...but I don't feel that it is required enough to be justified in asking other people to go as far as I would)

Send the email (staffing related).

Follow up on session 2. (Shame trigger because this shoulda been done mid last week and it is time sensitive.)

Many thanks. Yours to Niagara falls,

Bacchic

Shut up brain. Shut up brain. Eat. Do the thing. Stop thinking about how you hate taking time off and suck at it and should could be better. You are working on this and yes you suck at it but you will get better. You are here now. Now feed your body and set your timer and GOGOGOGO. Turn on your audiobook tooooioo! Focus. Be kind to yourself. But go!