#i do appreciate and love my mom but i just rly don't like this lmfao

[kuiinncedes]

bro

[alukaforyou]

I know you've mentioned this before but you're not close with your parents. I just had an awful experience with my mom where I realized that she has a very low opinion of me and doesn't actually care about me as her child. How do you cope with you parents, if you don't mind me asking?

ya in my case i dont doubt they love me and have made lots of sacrifices for me, but ultimately, you are the arbiter of the love people give you, and i reject on some fundamental level the love my parents have for me - its not real love b.c they dont love ME, they love the idea they have of me. my parents rly kno jack shit abt me and i never rly talk to them abt anything meaningful to myself cuz i dont trust them - i hear the hurtful things they say abt other people which is 1. disturbing and 2. jokes on them cuz little do they kno they are insulting me too (like every time they shit on lgbt ppl or mentally ill ppl like bruh... i am that... lmfao..) and not just the whole fundamentally rejecting parts of me / my experience (aka... gaslighting... getting mad at me that One time i tried to open up abt depression / being suicidal and telling me "stfu no u arent, dont even say that shit" lmfao thx), they rly just dont listen to me Constantly, like Every time i try to educate them on race matters and whatnot theyre like loool silly girl u dont kno wat ur talking abt, actualy :3c and its so irritating not being taken seriously, ever so basically yea, im super done w. this "fam" and while i am grateful that they raised me p well and didnt do sketchy behavior like check my phone / comp, etc or physically abuse me.... like.... am i rly supposed to be grateful for that LMFAO if anything the fam gives me the lower most, maybe the lower 2 levels of the maslow's hierachy of needs (all the emotional support & unconditional love, i get from my friends, aka my found / real family) so i am super estranged from them & i dont rly seek their approval or w.e. in my case, my parents provide me / has provided for me housing and some degree of financial support (like... free housing.. free food... etc..) so thats p much the extent of how i see our relationship. like.. open ur purse ig? LOOOOOL and when i move out, im totally prepared to slowly drift out of their life like... y would i wanna spend time w. racists and terfs when... i could be seeing friends??? its a lil weird cuz on some level i am... attached to them cuz the whole ~family! blood relations~ concept but tbh in the very real future possibility that my fam disowns me / never sees me again for some dumbass reason, ig i wont miss them much. like nothing irritates me more than the expectation of having unconditional love / respect for ur family / elders (esp in asian / collectivist culture) because family is gacha and toxic people r toxic whether or not they happen to be ur relatives or w.e. ik its hard cuz ~its my mom!~ and ya sure maybe u have some good memories with her, or shes not toxic / hurtful / whatever *all* of the time, but none of us have to be begging for scraps. im sorry you didnt get the love & support & understanding we all deserve from our parents but.... family is gacha lol. id say, try to accept the good times and the shitty times and kno u dont rly have any obligation to stay in their lives as their child, and any reconciliation plans or the degree of "presence" you will have in their life is toootally up to you. also try to communicate first if you u r comfy with that, like really clearly let them know how they hurt you and see if you can salvage the relationship if you so desire. see my parents wont ever freakin listen to me so all avenues for communication are closed. i cite irreconciliable differences and choose to just shut them out of my personal life lol.

if you have the means at all to move out... that would b good.... but if not, just try ro hang in there and make ur home experience the most bearable as possible. see, my job is to have the most peaceful existance i can. so while i wanna fight w my parents and whatever, i just dont to save my own energy like im not here to educate or change ppl that wont listen. so i try to minimize my interaction w them and stay in my room most of the time. i also focus on my own hobbies like art or exercise or watch films or play / talk w my sister instead. having great friends that lov & support & uplift u is key. surround urself w ppl that appreciate you and value you b.c we are all precious and important and ofc. we'll make our own mistakes so we all rly need ppl who bring out the best in us! online friends are super valid as well, if u need more friends def try to join some online communities around ur own interests and meet wonderful ppl! hope that helped a lil.... sry for wat happened again.. i hope things get better for u!!