#i do also just miss some thought i fear. or people don't have intro posts for me to reblog- which is my preference generally

[piningpercussionist]

have you seen more rp blogs pop up?

like this one? https://www.tumblr.com/yanderegman

I have seen the yandere blogs pop up, yes. I just don't know how to feel about them generally as a Personal Thing, that's why I haven't reblogged any intros yet I don't think

Was kinda tempted by the Envy tho ngl

[choutenyuki-chan]

INTRO!!!

This will hopefully be the first and last time I break character on either of my NSO blogs, but I felt it was necessary to post a real intro considering the things that will be posted on this account.

(TL;DR @ the bottom)

DISCLAIMER!!!

These blogs were created with the purpose of being a creative outlet for my trauma and mental illness. This means that some of the content on this page might be unpleasant for some people. If that's the case, don't view my blog.

To start things off...

16+ only, please. I want to create a safe space for as many people as I can, but I don't want to be responsible for influencing any kids into doing any of the things I speak about.

For anonymity, I'm not going to tell you my actual name, so please just call me Kangel or Ame, depending on the blog you are viewing.

I will do my best to always tag any possible triggers on my heavier posts, so please correct me if I miss a tag or incorrectly tag something.

TRIGGER WARNINGS!!

As I just mentioned, there will be a lot of triggering things posted on both of these blogs. Because of that, I'd like to compile what will be the most common trigger warnings to look out for on this page (will be updated as I post to remain accurate)

Mentions of grooming

Mentions of past trauma

Neglect

Fear of abandonment

Long rambles during panic attacks

Addiction

Abuse/toxic relationships

Intrusive thoughts

Self-harm

Mentions of suicidality

A Bit About Me

I like Jirai and the message it sends as it's something I heavily relate to. I don't have any jirai clothing yet, but I'm saving to buy my first item asap! I also really like vocaloid, visual kei, breakcore, and honestly most kinds of music haha.

If you couldn't guess, I really like NSO. The kind of person Ame-chan is really spoke to me. I've always wanted to take on a new persona online, and what better way than a Kangel blog! I'll speak a little more on the roles of each blog later, tho <3

I really like RPGs like Persona and Final Fantasy as I grew up playing both. They're both really comforting games for me.

I suspect I have Autism and either BPD or bipolar. I'm in the process of trying to find a psychologist to get an assessment and confirm my suspicions, but it's hard to find anyone where I live.

The Kangel blog!

This blog is where I'll post my lighter content. It's my distraction from my actual life and is mainly here for me to pretend I'm someone else. This means that while I'm on the Kangel blog, I'll do things like write in American-English as it's another layer of disconnect from my real life.

There will be much less triggering content on this blog, but there will be an occasional vent post, but that will likely be written in the style of the in-game vent streams and tweets. That means it will likely be a bit dramatised to sound entertaining. Those posts will still have tagged TWs regardless.

The Ame-Chan blog!

This blog is like the priv Twitter account that Ame has in-game. Darker posts will go here, and almost everything will be a vent of some kind. If I feel it's necessary, I will also add a 'check the tags' disclaimer at the beginning of the post so you can decide whether you're in the right headspace to read that post. This is essentially my diary tho and sometimes I just might not add tags. I'll always do my best tho.

This blog is essentially a public diary, which means there will be a lot of in-depth description of my current state and any retelling of past trauma. "Traumadumping" about my childhood will be kept at a minimum though.

This also means that I will occasionally post about dreams I have. I rarely have good dreams, and they're almost always some kind of dream relating to trauma. These normally have a different list of TWs to look out for (including the original list).

I will list those below:

Kidnapping

SA (sometimes explicit, but I will likely never go into those details unless I found it particularly distressing. Those will always be under different tags, though)

Running away/homelessness

Survival game type plot

Physical abandonment

Murder

There will likely be more added as this account develops.

Both blogs, but primarily the Ame one, will occasionally mention a P-Chan. This refers to two different people, but I'll never disclose which is which. This is mostly for privacy.

P-Chan 1 refers to a real-life person I know and have a semi-toxic friendship with. If I succumb to the BPD allegations, I'd assume they're my 'favourite person'.

P-Chan 2 is fake. They don't exist. They're a character in my head who is my ideal person. They exist so that I have someone to project my unhealthy obsession onto instead of the real P-Chan. This often also means posting the intrusive thoughts I have around P-Chan.

OUTRO!!!

I tried to keep this short while having as much info about this page as needed. I hope this can be a safe space for anyone who relates to me and wants to get to know me. I'm always open to making new friends <33

TL;DR

Mentally ill girl creates blogs to ignore her problems and vent while staying as anonymous as she can. Triggering posts galore, but it will be tagged to the best of her ability.

[nishisun]

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

[canongf-archive]

  Hello, can I ask for some advice?

  I want to start a self-ship blog, but I have a terrible social anxiety that won't leave me alone even in online spaces.

  I just have no idea how I'm supposed to fit in the community and start interacting with people. So far every time I tried to be active on social media I ended up paralyzed with fear of others thinking "What is she doing here? Who does she thinks she is?" and deleted everything (yes, despite already being eighteen I still have very little idea what to do with social media accounts.)

  I mean, what is appropriate to post first on a self-ship blog? It's not like I can just start writing posts like I've always been here, can I? How to approach people so they won't think I'm weird or desperate for attention? Also despite my main f/o not being popular (well, not anymore), I've seen one or maybe two other self-shippers that have him as their main f/o as well, and it feels like he's already taken and I have no right to come here and write about my own self-ship with him.

  In short, I'm socially unadapted and frustrated. Send help.

  P.S. Sorry for possible mistakes, english is not my first language.

hi anon!!!!! 💗 of course you can!!!!!

you are not alone in this!!! i felt similarly when i first started this blog, and i've had dozens of people send in asks almost identical to this one because they were in the exact same position you're in right now! it can be really scary to put yourself out there!!! but it only gets easier!!!

i think one thing that's really important to remember is: nobody's judging you as harshly as you're judging yourself. nobody's looking at you and picking you apart the way you're picking yourself apart. we're all too busy focusing on ourselves! when was the last time you looked at someone and judged them the way you judge yourself? when was the last time you looked at someone and thought all the negative things about them that you think about yourself? would you scroll through posts made by people in the community and think "what are they doing here? who do they think they are?" probably not!!!

and honestly, even if someone was judging? that's on them. that's not your burden to carry. people who judge so harshly are unhappy and insecure. and by not doing something you would enjoy in an attempt to not be judged by them is only gonna hurt you. because you'll be missing out, and they'll be judging anyway.

you're allowed to be in this community! and you're allowed to interact with it in whatever way feels best to you!

"It's not like I can just start writing posts like I've always been here, can I?" you absolutely can! why not! there are no rules with this kind of thing, there's no test that you have to pass before you start posting, it's your blog! you have complete control over it! post an intro, post whatever pops into your brain, don't post anything at all! it's up to you! nobody else!!!

"How to approach people so they won't think I'm weird or desperate for attention?" it always helps me to remember, we're all weird and looking for attention. that's just what it's like being human. we're all different and we all want to connect with each other and there's nothing wrong with that! we're in this community because we want to talk, we want to interact. and when you keep that in mind, the risk seems to go down! people very rarely react negatively to compliments, and they almost always wanna talk about themselves! so if you aren't sure where to start, find someone you think is interesting and give them a genuine compliment or ask them about their own ships! that's my method, and it is almost always foolproof! (just be sure to respect their boundaries if they have them listed!)

and finally!!! listen! sometimes people in the community ship with the same character. but nobody owns the character they ship with (unless it's an OC), nobody has more of a right to ship with them than someone else, and just because other people ship with a character that you like doesn't mean you can't. it just doesn't work that way! you might have to navigate a little bit, blacklist some tags, block some people if you need to, but you gotta do what you want to do! do what will make you happy! that's all you can do! that's all any of us can do! you wouldn't tell yourself that you can't go by your own name just because someone else shares it with you, and they were born before you were. that would be silly! treat this the same way!

it's hard because the only way to make it easier is just to face it... but on the bright side! the more you face it, the easier it gets! that anxiety might not go away for a while, but if you think this is something that you wanna do, then sometimes we just have to do it scared. and sometimes it's more rewarding and beautiful than we could ever imagine.

good luck, my friend!!! you're gonna do great!!! (and your english is perfect!!!) 💗💗💗

[plasticnightmaredoll]

(art commission by the lovely and talented @curious-menace)

It is a time where I would like to see what my followers think about various concepts I have in mind pertaining to alternate versions of one my fics. It may take some time to write out any alternate versions since I've been busy and stressed out so much lately, but I am very curious as to what others would find intriguing to read.

But first, some backstory so be patient. We'll get to the voting at the end of this post.

I've been having a lot of bad days lately, and my mood has plummeted to a major low. This includes my self-esteem, which has always been in the dumps but is now basically a dumpster fire.

However, I don't want to be entirely cruel to myself. I deserve some sort of happiness, some sort of reprieve, and writing can be a good coping mechanism. I put a lot of my own thoughts, emotions, struggles, opinions, etc. into my works, as they serve as a way for me to get things off my chest. Sometimes, it's just cute and funny stuff, other times angsty but eventually fluffy stuff, and other times it's quite depressing and dark.

One fic, in particular, stands out, and that is the Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, "Volunteer," (trigger warnings: mentions psychological torture and suicide...more about this fic in a bit for those who would rather not read it because of those triggers) which features Arkham Knight Edward Nigma and Jonathan Crane, as well as a lady friend for Edward named Sara. It also features Erron Black and Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat (Cassie is only mentioned in the story a few times).

If you read the blog intro/self-introduction post pinned at the top of my Tumblr, you know very well how I feel about Cassie Cage (particularly in MK11) and the Erron Black x Cassie Cage (BlackCage) pairing. Those negative feelings are mostly due to a very bad experience with a pushy BlackCage fan who just wouldn't relent one bit on their stance and it was emotionally and mentally draining to try and talk to them, including providing counter-arguments.

I've come up with alternate versions for "Volunteer" recently due to the spike in stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurities I've been dealing with as of late. This is where my followers come in!

I would like people to vote on which alternate take on "Volunteer" they would be interested in reading. Now, I can't guarantee when I'd get to it because, as I mentioned already, I've got a lot going on. However, I really want to try and write at least one alternate version of that fic, just to get some insecurities and negative thoughts off my chest.

Now, for those who are wary of reading "Volunteer" because of the trigger warnings, here's my advice: Just read the first chapter, if you want to. Chapter 2 deals directly with the sensitive subject matter, although, you can probably guess what happens anyway just by reading Chapter 1 and if you know anything about Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow...well, he likes to mess with people...mentally. To put it very mildly.

Now it's time for the voting. I have three different scenarios I've come up with that are variations/alternate versions of the current "Volunteer" fic's concept/storyline. I'd like followers to select 1 (one) alternate telling of the fic. I will open anonymous asks again, so if you are shy or just want your vote to remain a secret for some other reason, then that's fine by me. Otherwise, you can reply to this post with your choice.

Edit: if you are turned off by the idea of a Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, I get it. I don't read crossover fics myself, and that's usually because the crossovers either make no sense or do make sense but the ideas are poorly executed.

This crossover I'm talking about, though, isn't a full-on crossover of MK and Batman. There's no world-building, no larger plot, and no other characters in MK even appear or are mentioned except Erron Black and Cassie Cage.

If anything, it's more of a Batman Arkhamverse standard AU with Riddler and a female oc, and Erron and Cassie are the only concrete elements of MK brought in. I mean, yes, the other MK characters exist, I guess, but they have no purpose in this crossover I've written, and won't make any appearances.

So, if you had any concerns about the crossover aspect, I hope this clears things up

Choices below the cut!

A) "Don't You Wish"

This version is inspired by a song from Pink, called, "There You Go." In this alternate telling, Erron manages to survive Scarecrow's fear toxin, and escape (most likely because Erron is out of his mind and panicking, thus not a threat, and he has no one to help him, so Scarecrow doesn't give a damn what happens to the dude). The first thing Erron does is go to Sara's place, having already broken up with Cassie after realizing dating her was a mistake, and Sara means more to him than he thought.

Well, it's been several months since Sara basically pushed Erron out of her life for his poor choice in women, and (Arkham Knight) Edward Nigma has proven to be a much better (and, wiser and more sensible -- yes, I know, but he's not a skirt chaser, Guys) friend to Sara. While Erron ran off with a blonde selfie princess, Edward offered genuine comfort and companionship, and now Sara has been in the process of moving on from Erron even further.

Sara humors Erron and lets him tell her -- while sounding terrified, confused, and conflicted beyond belief thanks to the fear toxin -- what happened to him. Now, Sara doesn't know Edward asked Scarecrow to take care of Erron as a means of getting revenge for her. Doesn't matter anyway. She's unsympathetic towards Erron's plight, feeling as if he didn't even give her a chance to confess her feelings towards him, nor did he even seem to notice how she felt; it was like he was too busy with thinking with his privates to realize he had someone in front of him who would have treated him better.

Sara tells Erron -- in a flat, disinterested tone -- that his situation is tragic and all but wtf is she supposed to do? Why not go to his dumb blonde gf? Oh, they broke up? Well, how predictable. And Crane is also a (sort of) friend to Sara, which shocks Erron and leaves him feeling worse than before.

Sara sends Erron on his way, and he wanders off in a daze, unsure of what to do with his life now.

Sara and Edward meet the next day, and they have a pleasant time, obviously moving towards becoming a couple. She chooses not to mention Erron as she is completely severing the cowboy from her life.

B) "I Don't Even Miss You"

This alternate telling is similar to the previous one, but this time it's inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "WTF Do I Know" (Hey, her Plastic Hearts album is actually fantastic!), and Edward is with Sara when Erron arrives at her place in a distressed state. At first, Sara deals with Erron in the hall of her apartment building, unsympathetic to his plight and basically telling him, "I told you so," and "too bad." Erron is getting more and more upset, even angry at Sara's callous tone, and starts to raise his voice, demanding to know why she is being so cold at a time like this?

Edward overhears Erron raising his voice to Sara, giving her a difficult time, and he gets pissed. Edward steps out into the hall and not only mocks Erron in various ways, but demands that he leave immediately, or what Scarecrow did will seem like a trip to Disney Land. Erron has caused Sara -- who is currently moving on and growing closer to Edward -- enough problems and heartache.

Edward reveals he set up Erron, and while Sara is stunned to find this out, she handles it better than expected. Edward said it was his way of getting revenge for her, and he'd do it again if need be. Erron is sent away feeling so much worse, feeling lost, hopeless, and betrayed.

Sara and Edward talk and she admits she's upset that he did something like this without speaking about it to her first. However, he explains that he genuinely did it for her and he doesn't want her to feel pain at the hands of some "idiotic cowman," who doesn't consider the feelings of others and who behaves like a greedy, violent Neanderthal. (And yes, Edward does care for Sara, and he didn't send Scarecrow after Erron out of jealousy -- maybe a little jealousy but it was mostly rage over Erron causing Sara so much emotional pain)

Sara means more to Edward than he can express, and he may not be the best when it comes to emotions, but he does care about her and wants her to be safe.

Sara forgives Edward, understanding that, through his heartfelt but very nervous and shy confession that he is sincere about his feelings for her, and they make amends. She of course tells him to never do something so extreme without consulting her first, though, because what happened to Erron -- while she doesn't care what happens to him in the slightest -- was a bit too much.

C) "Listen When the Devil's Calling"

Another title inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "Night Crawling," and this alternate telling involves Telltale Riddler and no Scarecrow. Almost a year has passed since Erron went with Cassie and Sara, out of bitterness and heartache, refused to speak or see him. This didn't sit well with him as she was his only friend, and his relationship with Cassie dies within a few months.

He goes looking for Sara, realizing she has moved out of her apartment. It doesn't take him long to find out where she is, and she's with The Riddler, a notorious criminal genius and one of Gotham's elite villains. Erron is worried for Sara and seeks her out.

Turns out, Sara's just fine. This isn't one of those scenarios where the girl is with a guy who just using her and taking advantage of her vulnerability. No, Edward does actually love her and takes good care of her. He finds people like reckless, selfish, and ignorant people like Erron to be a disgrace but also amusing because of how pathetically primitive they are.

Edward also doesn't appreciate how Erron pushed aside a good thing in Sara to pursue a girl who is a social media brat and has more selfies on her phone than brain cells in her, well, brain. It defies all logic to Edward, but he's also not surprised because of how much of a disappointment Erron is as a human being (hey, this is Riddler we're talking about, and he's not one to be sweet and gentle to those he can't stand). Edward doesn't say these things out loud, though, as it's a bit too vulnerable and personal for him to do such a thing with someone he doesn't know or trust.

Sara is upset that Erron has resurfaced and she remembers how heartbroken she was when he went after Cassie Cage. She wants Erron to leave her alone like she asked, so she can move on. She can't trust him anymore, because he's just a skirt chaser in her eyes.

Erron tries to plead his case, tries to apologize to Sara, and expresses how he really feels, but this just distresses her further. Edward steps in and tells Erron he's done enough to Sara, she clearly doesn't want to see him, and he needs to take his leave.

This isn't a request.

Edward pulls Erron aside, telling the cowboy that the only reason he's going to walk away from this alive is that Sara hasn't asked for him to be killed. Should she tell Edward to take care of Erron, well, you all know what Telltale Riddler is like.

And those are the three variations on "Volunteer."

If you could be so kind as to:

leave a comment with your choice or

send an ask (even an anon ask) with your choice or

suggest your take on this story.

I'd appreciate it immensely!

Thank you all so much for supporting me and my writing and being patient with my sluggish publishing schedule!

[dent-de-leon]

do you know why lance seems to be the fandom sweetheart for like a majority of people watching voltron? don't get me wrong, he has his great moments, but half of the time he's just plain annoying (so fucking annoying). maybe i'm just too old to like the kind of character lance is.

I’ve thought about this myself, and here’s what I found–relatability. Lance has, by all means, the most “normal” background. He’s intended to be the “everyman,” a character that’s typically easygoing and very much what you’d expect from an ordinary teen. For the pilot episode, our intro, he also feels like the main focus out of the ensemble cast. As such, he ends up being this slate that a lot of fans, teens especially, can project onto. They see themselves in his place. He has typical problems like homesickness, competitiveness, jealousy, inferiority. 

This is also why a lot of fans extrapolate those issues, I think. Particularly that last one. He’s no longer just someone who’s afraid of feeling left out or second-rate, suddenly he has depression or PTSD. Again, I think this is a result of fans seeing a bit of themselves in Lance and so projecting. It’s natural, and oftentimes people can find it sort of therapeutic. But still, there is something that’s always bothered me about fans insisting Lance in particular suffers from mental illness when we have a character in canon who does–and oftentimes, that part of Shiro’s life is pushed to the wayside in favor of adding those traits to Lance. 

Or, even worse, as I’ve said before, I’ve seen Lance focused k/l that covered Keith’s galra reveal. And Shiro was often shown as the most aggressively against Keith, either outright rejecting or even lashing out at him. A character who suddenly turns monstrous from his canon trauma, all so Lance could look better in comparison, and it’s…very upsetting to see. Anyway, I’m glad Shiro was the one in canon who showed Keith that unconditional love and support through his galra reveal, because so many fanworks believed the contrary. And therein lies something to consider–I’ve seen lots of fans either dismiss or demonize Shiro’s very real symptoms of mental illness, while simultaneously claiming Lance was good representation for it, and it was just…strange.

But again, I assume that’s because people are drawn to different characters. And for whatever reason, those few fans who erase Shiro’s mental illness and pass it off to Lance for the sake of “lang/st” find that “representation” from Lance to be more palatable. That is to say, someone without the very real symptoms Shiro shows. Which, you know, upsets me as someone with clinical depression and other mental health issues, but I digress. If that kind of projection helps other fans, then I guess I kind of understand. 

But I just raised a whole other topic there, so let’s talk about that–“lang/st.” Yeah. Putting Lance through lots of pain and suffering is so common, fandom coined a name. See also, the usually accompanying “klang/st.” So, yeah. If fans love Lance so much, why put their golden boy through so much suffering in a whole genre of fics? I think it’s because fans simultaneously love and hate the actual “everyman” aspect. Yes, Lance is like them. But they want him to be so much more!! They want him to have those deep, angsty backstories and heartbreaking character arcs like Shiro and Keith. 

And yet, suffering from trauma or having a bad childhood does not make a character inherently more intriguing or dimensional. It just doesn’t. People heard “he has a big family” and immediately went to middle child, he’s always left out, his family never loved him enough!! And then in canon the show runners told us he was the youngest of his family and spoiled, and fans were surprised. Personally, I think that’s very fitting for someone who behaves like him, but I digress. My point is, lots of fans wanted him to suffer because they either like angst or they assume it somehow builds development of character. 

But of course, the latter isn’t always true. And honestly? I think there are enough tragic origin stories in Voltron already. Like, at least we have this one guy who seems like he came from a loving family and had a relatively good life. Good for him!! I’m happy for him. And there’s nothing wrong with that, you know? Branching off that, I feel like a lot of klang/st is also to make k/l feel like it has more “substance.” Fans gave k/l the self-discovery arc of Keith’s galra reveal, even though sheith had that. They made Lance the loving and supportive one in the face of Keith’s galra blood, but in canon that’s Shiro. 

Similarly, I see prekerberos things where Keith and Lance were always together or pining. You know who were always side by side in prekerberos canon? Who had that kind of dynamic? Sheith. You know who Keith agonized over being separated from for that long year? Shiro, not Lance. He didn’t even remember Lance’s name. Of course, there are the edits where Lance is in Keith’s BOM trial, though those same fans will swear there was nothing romantic about those sheith scenes. 

Voltron’s twitter posts a video of the sheith hug followed by the group one, and fans just complain about the lack of a k/l hug. Altean Lance aus where Lance and Keith have a k/a dynamic is also common. Lance gushes about his love for Allura in his vlog? “Bad character developement”–should have made him talk about Keith instead. It’s like, fans expected certain things from k/l in canon. And when they didn’t get that, they borrowed the dynamic from other ships, while simultaneously hating those same ships. It’s very strange to me. 

I think part of what broke my heart the most though, was fans rejoicing about Shiro going missing because in their minds it meant Lance would “step up” and be that source of love and comfort in Keith’s life. And that just…I felt sick reading things like that. So yeah, Lance is the “everyman,” but a lot of fans want him to be so much more. There’s this oc quality of–give him everything he wants!! Make him an Altean prince! The Black Paladin! Bring in someone who’s going to be the love of his life!! People want Lance to “prove Keith wrong” and “be the best,” even though Black Paladin Lance significantly detracts from his canon character development. 

They pass onto him qualities of other characters because they think he “deserves” it. So, I’m going to say this–it’s probably because I can’t relate to Lance at all. I relate to Keith, with all his canon fear of feelings and abandonment, his deeply rooted attachment to those he loves, his introspective nature and inclination to act on instinct, his volatile intensity of emotion, his unbridled anger at injustice, his difficulty with letting go, his upsetting childhood, his fierce loyalty, his love of quiet but oppressive fear of isolation, his desire for found family, the way he values his beliefs over his life. So yeah, I really identify with Keith. Some of my meta? Probably projecting a little. It happens. So I understand why people do the same with Lance.

But just like Keith, Lance is still ultimately his own person. And the way he is in canon? He’s a good character all on his own. He’s not Keith or Shiro or Allura, but he’s himself. He’s someone who has a way of instigating important events–bringing all the paladins together for when they find the Blue Lion, following that mermaid and uncovering a whole nefarious plot, helping Allura realize her hidden potential and the very depth of her magic. He goes from a flighty playboy to someone actually shy and sincere, who develops very real feelings for Allura. He realizes being Black Paladin doesn’t make you suddenly better, understands the importance of working as a team and really grows into his role as a Red Paladin. Someone worthy of carrying on Alfor’s legacy, someone Allura can really be proud of. 

So yes, Lance has gotten lots of character development, and I think he’s a really intriguing person all on his own. No other character traits required. 

[advice4smartgirls]

Hi, this is the introvert/extrovert person again! The person I am referring to is myself, and while I do think I have some anxiety and depression problems, I don't know that the change in my behavior was due to them? It was just as if all of a sudden hanging out with other people was really draining and not fun like it used to be and staying in my room made me happy when it hadn't before. It seems really odd. I don't know if that gives you more information, but I'm still really confused about it

(Intro/extro person) and I barely ever leave my room to socialize anymore, all I do is work and sleep with my life basically. A year ago I would have been horrified by that idea, but now I can’t even remember what it was like to be able to hang out with friends everyday. I don’t even like being around most people anymore. I wish I could find a happy medium

Hey love, this sounds exactly like something I’ve been through. I used to be an extrovert; I always needed to be around people. I would be all “fear of missing out” when I wasn’t with people. Now, I’m more likely to sit around my dorm watching Netflix and snacking is my idea of a perfect day. I call myself an “introverted extrovert.” I like people, but I also need my space and I’m unlikely to initiate social situations. 

Some of this is because I grew up. In middle/high school, I needed people. All the time. I’m almost 21 now, a junior in college, and I’m much more comfortable being alone, and in fact I generally prefer it. 

Some of this is because I have depression. Classic depression symptom - losing interest in things you once loved. Sleeping all the time. When you said “not fun like it used to be” and “all I do is work and sleep with my life basically” I immediately thought of depression symptoms.

Now, I’m not a psychologist. But in my personal experience, I went through the same type of thing because I got more mature and also have depression. It’s a combination of the things. I hope that helps…?

Marie-Rose

Original post: http://advice4smartgirls.tumblr.com/post/156492464325/is-it-normalpossible-to-go-from-being-an-extreme