#i dislike the case i chose though im returning it :| not enough of a lip over the screen freaks me out

[oysterie]

Hi new phone wtf are these

Big fan of this thing though actually

[xuune]

some thoughts on s7

this ended up me kind of rambling about my thoughts and feelings on s7 that are all over the place, so please bear with me if these thoughts don’t seem too well organized or anything: 

now, before i even actually saw the season, i was just snooping around here on tumblr to see what ppl’s reactions were, and i kind of let it get to the better of me. some people were just over dramatizing what was happening in s7, and their negativity on the season made me believe that i would wholeheartedly dislike the season. i saw all the posts with people going on about how if youre still watching the show, you should immediately drop it (and it was mainly centered around few central complaints going around right now, pretty sure you can figure that out on your own on what that was). it was understandable on where the frustration was stemming from. i only got 3 hours of sleep because of what people were saying despite not even seeing the season for myself and seeing how events would ultimately play out. but like they would always say, you shouldn’t let other people’s judgement affect you, and it really shouldn’t be the determining factor on how you view things or how your opinions are formed. 

when i watched the season, my general reaction to it was that its “ok”, i didn’t think it was entirely and absolutely terrible. i already know how a lot of us didn’t like the way a few characters got treated. i mainly thought that the animation looked nicer and improved in some of the action scenes. the writing was kind of “meh” for me when it came to whatever certain plot points that got introduced or continued. watching it on my own actually removed any thoughts of me disliking/hating the season entirely. 

even though i say this, the things i mention here are mainly about some issues that kept being brought up by people and circled around ever since s7 got released. 

in terms of character development? besides what we’ve been given for hunk, which has been awesome so far (i dont really feel like i have much to go in depth with for this, its already self explanatory in the season itself), i guess its going somewhere. i’ve got some hope, but it’s not on the level where its overwhelmingly high and optimistic. everyone’s been talking about the lack of actual lance development, how he’s constantly being reduced to being the “dumb” one, but we actually see him take initiative when needed. lance has been shown to stepping up and taking his role into account when handed the opportunity to do so, and it was multiple times when lance was given the re-established position of keith’s right-hand man. despite whatever remarks keith made on lance, whether or not they were supposed to come off as teasing/joking for the audience, keith does still seem to believe in lance’s capabilities. if he didn’t, keith wouldn’t have trusted lance the task on leading their team on their mission(s). lance actually got scenes where he could shine off as being portrayed more than what he’s constantly being insulted as. there are still some scenes of them showing mutual trust and respect for each other, especially with lance voting for keith during “the feud” and the reasoning he gave. but yeah, some parts it did seem like keith was kind of ooc in certain episodes when comparing his personality back to s3. who knows why keith gave the reasoning he did when he voted for lance. EDIT: acoolemocucumber’s post makes a good note on pointing out how during the voting section, keith is actually the first one to start writing. it’s later revealed that he chose lance on first pick. lance was the second to finish. even though he was peeking over at hunk and pidge to see who they chose, he instead decides to choose keith. keith choosing lance as a first choice without pure hesitance is amazing to see, and it really shows he trusts and respects lance a lot despite the reasoning he gave. then again, actions speak louder than words and countless times keith has shown to be that kind of guy by relaying a lot of important tasks to lance throughout this season. 

i’ll do say that i enjoyed most of the scenes they shared when they had to take a leading initiative with each other though. that was pretty nice to see again, and it felt like a decade since i ever saw that kind of dynamic from those two. 

there were a lot of action packed scenes, and i watched through those entirely to see if there’s any important plot detail to know, or make note of, while watching the ep to make sure i wouldnt be lost with whats happening so far. some people found it boring, some people found the fight scenes amazing and stunning. certain scenes had me really amazed on how well it was animated, some other scenes not so much in terms of repetition, and thats kind of bound to happen if we’re provided an arc where its continuing to keep the tense vibes on the recurring events with the current situation of the season. 

this is just merely my take on it, (my memory’s not the best with how much information im recalling from those 13 episodes) but it kind of felt lackluster with how the paladins barely got any kind of break where they could seriously spend one episode on unwinding, having in-depth conversations one on one, and not be so worried about the galra all the time. sure, there’s a few scenes like that in a few episodes, but it didn’t seem enough to make it feel like it balanced out whatever conflicts or character issues were newly or constantly introduced. 

ive read posts already about how some people had liked the season a lot, loved the actions scenes and all. but to me, some conflicts that took place seemed out of place or just didn’t really align well (idk how else to phrase it) especially with adam’s death, and i had minor mixed feelings about ep “the journey within”. 

about adam, it just seemed out of place and rushed for them to introduce shiro’s s/o only for them to take him away. we don’t get to see how fleshed out adam could’ve been, and i’ve already seen the frustration/rage people had with adam being killed off when considering how the creators told the viewers that they were gonna get to see adam, but weren’t told how long we’ll see him (plus the entire thing abt lgbt rep that was promised?). the thing with adam left me on a weird note, mainly because if you were just given no other info besides the info from the season, you wouldn’t even be given too explicit information about the relationship shiro had with adam. from there, it felt like there was no point in adding adam into the story if the viewers aren’t given clear information on what kind of bond shiro and adam had besides adam saying that they’ve been through a lot together (or whatever he said, idr it too much) and the “how important am i to you” line for lgbt rep points. its just pretty vague “””representation””” thats just leaving the audience to make the most out of what they’re given. we’re only given confirmation that they used to be fiancés from what they said in panels/interviews, but never in the show. im not sure what to really think about that, my mind’s just kind of in the void when i think about it. but this part i structured kind of badly and i apologize for that, but hopefully those of you can get what im saying. 

as for “the journey within”, it was reasonable for the way characters acted; theyre all tired, frustrated, and losing hope and were floating in space waiting for nothing but at least something to happen. keith snaps, gets irritated at everyone, lance is also the one to lash back out at keith saying keith ran away, giving the audience a big sign that lance was hurt by keith’s disappearance/leave from the team. but for keith to quickly later on go take everything back in just a few minutes seemed really awkward for me. its a kids show and all, but i just kind of didn’t like how that one section of that episode was written ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just a feeling i had with it. however, i did love how hunk took a lot of the initiative during the episode, it’s showing his growth of actually him continuing to fully accept his role as a paladin and determined to not back down regardless of his own cowardice that could prevent him from doing so at any time.  

and there’s the thing about k/acx: ive already seen a bunch of people going somewhere along the lines of disbelief, anger, frustration on how keith is getting het endgame but when i saw the episodes, his interactions with acxa didn’t even seem borderline romantic to me at all? to me, i merely saw 2 characters actually getting on better terms with each other and returning the favor. the two no longer see each other as enemies but allies now. keith only went back to save acxa because it seemed like he believed that he felt in debt to acxa for trying to save his team. ezor and zethrid merely poked fun at acxa, but if you consider previous seasons where acxa and keith interacted, the two just continued to return the favor of owing whatever debt they had for each other. it didn’t seem like there was any romantic tension intended in any of the scenes where they interacted. we already know acxa betrayed ezor and zethrid by switching sides, and if you were betrayed you’re bound to make at least a  remark on whoever betrayed you either way. in this case, ezor and zethrid found it reasonable to make a comment on acxa’s alliance with keith, hence how they teased acxa possibly crushing on keith (whether or not thats actually confirmed, its just left ambiguous and up for interpretation at that point). there’s the parallel with how they animated the shot between keith and acxa talking to each other, but neither did that one seem romantic to me? i hope im not the only one who thought that? the other scene people talked about was when acxa is in the same scene where keith was present when he visits his dad’s grave with krolia. i dont get why some people were upset about that either. even though its at the last ep of s7, there’s nothing to imply that keith invited acxa to go visit his dad’s grave with him or anything if you consider their placement in the scene. if keith did care about acxa’s presence being there when he visited the grave, wouldn’t he at least acknowledge acxa’s presence by showing obvious attention to her, or have her close to where him and krolia were? she remains distant but respectful of keith in the scene. i dont see where these scenes would imply keith automatically finds a romantic interest in acxa. acxa to keith? maybe, we don’t entirely know. keith to acxa? i dont see it being implied anywhere at all. not to mention keith’s “can’t we just fight” statement right after ezor and zethrid teased acxa about having a romantic interest in keith. again, its just my take on what’s being presented and my own thoughts on how people are viewing it. 

and with a/l, it leaves me on a bad note with how its progressing if its really getting the sealed deal endgame. like most people have been saying, it would be good for them to be endgame if they were only written better. am i entirely convinced theyre endgame? not really because there’s that small chance where vld pulls a 180 and the show creators stay true to their words on lance not being a rebound, lance being someone’s first choice, lance getting what he needs, not what he wants. what’s being given/presented so far is just bad writing with how allura suddenly reciprocates feelings for lance out of nowhere despite showing consistent disinterest in lance’s advances in previous seasons. s4 and onward we see her seeing lance more than just an annoying flirt, and the two become better friends who could genuinely talk to each other without having allura annoyed with lance’s flirtatious antics, and without lance being reduced to a constant flirt. during allura’s interest in lotor, we’re yet again presented how allura doesn’t return feelings for lance, especially during the scene when the mice told her about lance’s feelings for her back in s6. she seems rather disappointed, pitiful, or uncomfortable with knowing how lance genuinely liked her when she liked lotor during that time. later on, allura’s been out of her previous love interest with lotor, and hasn’t shown returned much of the same interest in lance. sure, she hugged lance and he returned the hug, but that only seemed necessary in the moment for when allura had felt betrayed by someone she wholeheartedly trusted and fell in love with. she needed comfort from someone and the person she spoke to was lance who was able to lend her some comforting words. but that was about it. i’d like to say that considering that this is a kids show, it does give a bad incentive for children to develop on believing that if they continue to force their feelings onto someone else, the person they’re interested in will eventually like them back out of the blue, which is the worst course of action to take despite being rejected countless times (and its kind of being shown with what a/l has right now). to take this kind of scenario and to fix/put it with good writing would to just properly depict lance accepting rejection and allura staying true to her previous feelings on not reciprocating his feelings. in a general sense, we all know that we can’t always get what we want, and that’s an important moral that always gets taught over and over again even if youre a child or an adult. rejection and acceptance of the rejection is something that can be taught here through the romantic subplot they’ve been having. just deciding that they should become endgame out of nowhere would leave the writing very dull. having allura get out of her previous love interest with lotor only to quickly move onto lance just doesn’t leave off on a good note. it just reduces lance to a rebound and that’s about it. 

the writing for me wasn’t really that breathtaking, overwhelming, or emotional or anything when it came to new plot points being presented (you know, all the fight scenes, galaxy garrison, that stuff). again, a lot of things seemed pretty rushed, i had mixed feelings for some but not all episodes. it was nice to see mostly everyone united back with their families and characters developing new motives for what they believe in doing. yet, the writing kind of just wasn’t on the level of where it actually gets me really interested and invested into the storyline like how it had back in s1 to early s3. i’ll still mention how the writing did it’s part in presenting development for hunk, though. i enjoyed that a lot.  

some parts of the writing were questionable, some parts of the season were enjoyable, but it wasn’t entirely overwhelmingly disappointing for me. the season was on the bare minimum on having the writing go “decent”, but again it felt pretty “meh” and this is just my own feelings on it. people have their own opinions, frustrations, concerns, questions, some people loved it, some people severely hated it or just felt extremely disappointed. 

the season has its peaks and lows, some pros and cons, but whatever you take from it is what you believe. 

i’ll still keep watching the show to see how it ends, that’s for sure. 

[kizakiren]

so these two weeks really helped with sorting out my thought process~

official return will be on Valentine’s, Feb 14, midnight PST, and then i’ll be up for chatting again! (while studying for midterms)

stuff under the cut relating to self-reflection stuff. lots of themes of depression and suicide and stuff like that ahead while i dump my (sort of) daily reflection out, so don’t read it if it’s triggering.

i WILL say the tl;dr is that i understand myself better now and i think i know what direction is best for me to take in resolving these problems.

a lot of my depression stems from negative self-concepts which in turn mostly come from past experiences + paranoia. what seems to go through my mind is to apply these to every experience. like all the betrayals and insults from friends and family in the past really lead me to become paranoid+delusional as well as distrusting, which i believe is the core of my trust issues. and what my mind is doing is applying the fear of abandonment/betrayal/hatred and assuming that “everyone will eventually hate you and attack you as well”. so i think in the end i’m just very afraid of losing those dear to me, but the thing is, they’ve stated many times that they don’t hate me and would never hate me. they’ve proven it to me by wasting time for someone like me, and yet i still can’t trust them. what i decided was to really believe in my best friends’ words this time, after two breakdowns before these two weeks of self-reflection. 

i re-read what they said and they clearly care more about me than say, valmod or my past irl friends ever did. i think only four people in the world have ever given me this much effort. (i hope they know who they are) and like, i’m not worth it. i’m very emotionally reactive/impulsive (which is the main issue my friends have reported disliking) so i might have gotten too sad or angry when issues shouldn’t affect me that much. i did find a method to deal with this though, i really took the two weeks to think it through. 

i think the reason im always calling myself inept and worthless and stuff is because i, to put it blatantly, really suck at giving advice to friends. i don’t even know if they want it at this point because i’m just seriously not good at it. i suck at giving advice but i don’t want to ignore them in times of need. maybe next time i’ll just ask if there’s anything i can do. i think everyone still deserves a better friend than me, even though i’ve tried to improve myself, i really don’t think anyone deserves someone as worthless, useless, inept, and boring as me.

i still don’t know how to get past my trauma of being told that i’m annoying when i go on and on about the things i like. i’m honestly scared constantly that i’m annoying someone when i go all “i love X so much it makes me so happy!!!” i thought about how to deal with it but the fear is still there. i tried to bottle my happiness and try not to say stuff sometimes but i found myself relapsing into depression so uh. then i thought about how my friends said they’d never be annoyed with me when i’m happy and going on and on about stuff i like. so i chose to believe in those words instead. i’m really going to believe in those words in case i feel scared again.

i think i can be really self-destructive at times which might be really stressful on others because it’ll scare them to hear i’m trying to harm myself or take my life. the thing is, i really didn’t know how big of an impact i made on others. i thought about it these two weeks. my friends telling me they really wouldn’t know what to do if i was gone made me realize that i do impact people, even though i always feel like i dont belong. maybe i’m just not giving myself enough credit. maybe that’s why i hate myself so much. maybe that’s why i’m so willing to harm or kill myself. but i never go through with it because i always remember that it might trouble others.

so that lead me to the next thing. i prioritize others above myself and a few weeks ago, it mentally taxed me out to the point that i broke down crying and saying that i felt like i was being ignored and pushed aside all the time, and because i was forcing myself to always pick relevant conversational topics. i was thinking that it also stems from my insecurity to talk about things i like without worrying. this can be solved by believing in what my friends say.

just... like. for once in my life i think the best thing to do, for myself and for my paranoia, is to place my trust in people. i want to trust people again, so my first step at least is to trust my friends. 

and the solution for emotional impulses? it’s simple. i’ll take time alone whenever i’m feeling discomforted/upset, and i’ll think about what my friends have said in the past in regards to the issue. like i said, i want to trust others for once in my life. i’ve never fully trusted someone without feeling fear since god knows how long when, so i’d love to be able to do so again.

i don’t want to doubt my friends anymore.

i love them and i want to prove that i do, by trusting them.

[rantingfangirl]

Cross Life Chapter Three

Summary: Moving across the pond was supposed to signify new beginnings for the Kirkland family. Arthur’s parents seemed to take that a bit too literally for his liking.

Chapter Index

This was moved from my old blog

Vlad giggled, popping a piece of caramel popcorn in his mouth. Arthur took one from the bag, rolling it between his fingers, examining, before eating it. The three were sitting together in the school’s courtyard, enjoying the small lunch break that they had before having to return back to class.

Well, Vlad and Lukas were enjoying themselves, with their shorts and short-sleeved t-shirts. Sweat trailed down Arthur’s back and he mentally patted himself on the shoulder for remembering to put deodorant on that morning. Though they sat under one of the numerous trees in the courtyard, the shade and soft breeze did little to shake off the sweltering heat.

Stuffing a handful of popcorn in his mouth, Vlad’s voice was muffled, half-chewed bits falling out onto his shirt and lap as he spoke. “An-and then I said to ‘im, 'stay in your bed and go to sleep, or the boogeyman will come out, pull ya down under the bed, and we’ll never see you again!’ Didn’t hear even a single peep that night.”

Lukas chuckled, making a comment on how Vlad shouldn’t talk with his mouth full. He received several chucked pieces of popcorn as a response.

Arthur snorted. “Yeah, because scarring your little brother’s mind is totally going to make him stop 'misbehaving’.”

Vlad threw his arms up in the air dramatically, eyes wide and mouth open with shock. “C'mon, Arthur! I’m just teasing him!”

“I agree with Arthur-” Lukas leaned back, propping his arms against the concrete for support “- you keep scaring your brother like that, he’s gonna have some serious problems when he gets older. He could even turn out to be like you.”

“Oh, and your brother Emil is definitely-” the two bickered back and forth, Arthur tuning them out. He pushed his sleeve up, wiping the sticky sweat off his forehead.

Arthur scanned the courtyard, eyes squinting in an attempt to not be blinded. Tables sat in a pit in the middle, trees, including the one Arthur and his companions had claimed, surrounded it and providing much needed shade. He could see the doors to the nice, air-conditioned cafeteria from where he was sitting, and wished that they had chosen to sit there instead.

Turning his head, he spotted something familiar, freezing. At a certain, crowded table, a particular caramel head sat, his head down and using his arms for a pillow, a black haired boy whispering to him and rubbing his back while the others leaned in towards him.

Arthur gripped against the concrete, an unfamiliar feeling making his hands shake. His shoulders tensed and he narrowed his eyes, staring. After about a minute though, he sighed, slumping over, reaching his arm to rub the back of his neck. He was still angry with what Alfred did the day prior. That must have been it.

He looked back towards Lukas and Vladimir- who he guessed were his friends now. The two were staring at him, eyes expectant. Arthur raised an eyebrow in return, but deflated, hanging his head down and slumping hi shoulders. “I’m… sorry. Just wondering who they were.” He jerked his head towards the crowded table, mainly towards Alfred and the one whispering to him.

Vladimir nodded, Lukas turning to stare towards the group. Arthur could have sworn there was a tinge of longing in his gaze, but chose to ignore it, thinking it was probably nothing. Vlad gave Arthur a knowing expression, nodding his head towards Lukas. “It would be useful for you to know them, I guess.” Vlad sat up, crossing his legs. “Those guys are part of the baseball and soccer team.” Arthur smirked. “You mean football team.”

“Yes. Football team.” Vladimir turned to Lukas, elbowing him in the side to get his attention. “Speaking of the football team-” he turned to Arthur, raising his brow “-American football team, I mean. Rumor has it that they’re not going to have it this year.

Arthur perked up, propping his chin on his hand. "Why? Did some stupid jocks do something?” He watched the movies, the ones with American football players with sensitivity levels in the negatives, their IQs even lower. Ones that tormented the lives of those who didn’t comply with their standards. Perhaps something had happened, something horrible enough to suspend the team for the year. Vlad shrugged, grabbing another piece of popcorn. “Not enough people to play, I guess? It’s not that popular.”

“What do you mean, 'not popular’? Isn’t it the best thing since sliced bread in America?”

Lukas turned towards him- “No, that would be Betty White.” and looked back to the table.

Vlad rolled his eyes, telling Arthur to look it up. “The thing is, football is just not that popular. In fact, people here couldn’t care less about football.” He grabbed some popcorn, shoving it in his mouth, chewing and swallowing. “Now baseball, that’s popular. Soccer, too, when it’s not baseball season. I’ve never been to a football game before in my entire life. Been ta hundreds of baseball ones, though. I think Lukas used to play. Lukas?”

“Played in elementary school. Quit when I got hit in the face with the ball.”

“And there ya have it. Those guys at that table over there, they’re the best on the team. Not counting Kiku, though, he doesn’t play. Alfred F. Jones, Gilbert Beilschmidt- that’s Mr. Beilschmidt’s eldest son, by the way- Antonio Fernández Carriedo- that sure is a mouthful- and, the one and the only, Mathias Kohler.” Vlad wiggled his eyebrows when he said the last boy’s name, which prompted Lukas to roll his eyes.

“Oh, shut up.”

Arthur scooted up. “Wh- Mathias? Who’s that?”

Vlad smiled, a small dent appearing in the middle of his chin. “Mathias is the boy that Lukas is smitten with. Watches him whenever he passes by, can’t talk to him without turning into a stuttering pile of goo. Ya know, that kinda crush.”

Lukas’ cheeks spread with a color not unlike that of a pink rose. Turning his head into his shoulder, Arthur could barely make out his voice. “Knock it off, Vlad.” “Ok, fine. Fine. But you’re going to have to face it and you know it.”

Arthur tucked that small piece of information in the folds of his mind, saving it in case he would have to use it for future blackmail.

The three made small talk for the rest of the lunch break, topics like the weather and future homework coming up, Vladimir making the occasional joke at Lukas’ expense. The entire time, though, Arthur’s attention kept wandering towards that table.

Perhaps he had been harsh to Alfred yesterday. A bit too harsh. He knew the boy started crying when he left, could tell by his shaking and voice crack. Maybe he should go over there and apologize and-

No. Alfred deserved what he got. If he hadn’t reminded Arthur of… that, then maybe he wouldn’t have yelled at him. What he said was completely justified. Arthur nodded, sealing the fact.

When the courtyard started to empty out, the three exchanged their goodbyes, promising to see each other whenever they could. Arthur grabbed the now-empty bag of popcorn, throwing it away on the way to his next period, which happened to be choir.

He didn’t know why anyone thought it a good idea to schedule a choir class after lunch, but he dealt with it. Mr. Vargas was a nice enough director, ignoring him after their introduction in favor of spending the period to paint vivid images of what this year contained. Arthur knew today would probably be much more eventful and that maybe he would get his part. He had no preferences, only that it wasn’t next to the sopranos. Their voices often gave him pounding headaches, especially when they hit the highest of notes.

Arthur walked down the hallway, busy admiring the glittering trophies and banners yelling about past championship wins. He turned the corner, running into someone with an 'oomph’! Taking a few steps back, he adjusted the strap of his backpack. Looking up, a “my apologies” on the very tip of his tongue, he froze upon seeing him.

It was Kiku. Alfred’s boyfriend. Arthur looked him up and down, at his pink t-shirt, his jeans, the few strings of black hair brushing against his chin, only to be nodded away, and he could tell that Kiku was doing the same to him.

The words on his tongue had shriveled up and died, the strong, sour feeling from lunch spiking up again. He smiled anyways, his words sweet like honey. “I’m terribly sorry-”

“Are you Arthur Kirkland?” His voice had a sharp, tense edge to it, making Arthur’s smile falter. It was back up again in a moment.

“Yes, I am. And you are…?”

“Why don’t we skip the pleasantries, if you don’t mind.”

His smile fell, replaced by the nastiest sneer he could manage. Arthur rolled back his shoulders, tensing his back. He lowered his voice so eavesdroppers would have a difficult time hearing. “What do you want, Kiku.”

Kiku raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side, only to sigh, returning to his calm expression. “So you know me.”

“What- do- you- want?” It wouldn’t be long until the bell rang and he wanted to get to class on time. Kiku was keeping him from the choir room and if he didn’t get out of the way soon… Arthur clenched his fists, gritting his teeth. Kiku tugged down the hem of his t-shirt, the faces of animated characters stretching along with it. Arthur looked down. Kiku’s fingers were clenching the fabric as if he were mustering the courage to talk to him. How cute.

“Alfred is my best friend. He has been since middle school. Alfred is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful person I know. And it will always be that way. And you made him cry. Alfred, you made him cry. I don’t know how, but you did. For three hours last night, he cried into my shoulder. For three hours. I don’t even know you, just a name and a face and what you did. But, I can’t help but dislike you- no- hate you. For making Alfred… not Alfred.”

Arthur sighed, lifting up his watch to check the time. Only a minute to get to class. As much as he was enjoying their heartfelt confession and ooey-gooey snuggle and cuddle time, he really needed to go. “I don’t know about you, but I would like to get to my class sometime this century. Can we-” he rolled his hand in a circular motion “-wrap this up quickly?”

Kiku looked like a fish out of water with his gaping mouth. He was probably expecting Arthur to apologize in a frenzy, to have tears making tracks down his cheeks, pleading for forgiveness and saying that he didn’t mean to hurt his little golden boy’s feelings. Arthur snorted. He was being underestimated more and more these days.

He snapped on his sweet little smile from before, raising his voice to his normal volume, moving his arms to stand akimbo. “Is there anything else you need, Kiku? I wasn’t lying, I really do need to get to class.”

When he heard no answer, he shrugged, making a short humming noise to go along with it. Arthur pushed pass Kiku, strolling down the hallway. He could see the choir room from where he was.

“Please believe me when I say I don’t take what I’m about to say lightly-” With a groan, Arthur stopped, contemplating whether or not he should have continued walking “- and I am rarely as livid as I am now. I hate you, Arthur Kirkland. I hate you with all my heart. I despise you because you hurt Alfred. My Alfred. And I will never forget it.”

Arthur tried to make it seem like he was actually paying attention to this declaration, bopping his head side to side, left-right-left-right. Back turned to Kiku, he shrugged again, starting to walk. “How dramatic.”

He didn’t pay any mind to Kiku, who was stuttering after his response. He didn’t pay any mind to his claims about Alfred crying into his shoulder for three hours the night before. Nor did he even care.

He pushed open the door to the choir room, cursing when he saw most of the seats were full. Mr. Vargas was standing at the front, writing something in loopy scrawl on the chalkboard. Arthur dashed to an empty back seat in the boys’ section the farthest from the girls. Anything to get away from the sopranos. When the bell rang, Mr. Vargas clapped his hands together, smiling with straight, pearl-white teeth. “Good afternoon, everyone.” His smile grew wider when the class greeted back in uneven voices, Arthur for once choosing to respond with them. “We are a choir, and a choir is a family. Now, let’s try this again, and this time, as a family. Good afternoon, everyone.”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Vargas.” Though it was monotone, the greeting was in unison, which seemed to please him.

Arthur watched as Mr. Vargas turned to the piano accompanist, a boy who looked to be the same age as Arthur with wrinkle-free clothing and styled hair. He whispered something to him, turning back towards the class.

“Yesterday, we went over last year’s failures and triumphs. What we would fix and what we could keep on doing this year. Today-” Mr. Vargas stretched his arms above his head, rolling back his shoulders “-we will be 'choosing’ sections.” The class groaned, Arthur not understanding why. Mr. Vargas slung his head back, groaning louder and more obnoxious than any of the students. “C'mon, guys! This is necessary. It is. We have new people come into this choir, who we’ll consider family the moment they step in the door, and we have beloved ones who go and will be considered family even after they’re long gone.”

Arthur slumped back, rolling his eyes. He had no idea what Mr. Vargas’ deal was with family, but he’ll never consider these people that close to him. Ever. But he still didn’t know why his supposed family was so opposed to seats being arranged. Arthur looked around, several faces scowling, others indifferent. No evidence as to why the groans took place at all.

Mr. Vargas, still standing in front of the classroom, stood akimbo. “Who are our newbies this year?”

Arthur once again looked around. No one had their hand up. Which made him frown. Slowly, shyly, he raised his hand. Mr. Vargas’ eyes snapped to him, smile getting wider and wider as his hand got higher and higher. Arthur wiggled his fingers in the air, brow raising as he did it. He had a feeling that he would be the first person subjected to the apparent torture that was picking seats in the Vargas regime of the high school choir.

Mr. Vargas cleared his throat, crossing his arms. “What’s your name, young man?”

“Arthur Kirkland.” With how many times he had been introducing himself lately, one would think that he had some elaborate and well thought-out way of doing it, but he didn’t. No flourish, no nothing. While he had thought of doing an eloquent, “Arthur Kirkland, my dear lady or lord,” he had decided against it, out of risk of being called a smart ass, which, while he would certainly take delight in being called one, he didn’t really need at that moment.

Mr. Vargas nodded his head towards the piano. “Step up to the piano, son.” Arthur wanted to comment about how he wasn’t his son and to never call him that again, but instead pushed himself out of his chair, walking up to the accompanist. Mr. Vargas stepped back, towards the two, looking at the keys. “Let’s do… key of B.”

He could hear the snickering of those behind them but chose to ignore it when the accompanist pressed the key. It was a bit too high, to the point where he would have troubles hitting the highest note. He gave a look to Mr. Vargas, who seemed to sympathize with him. “Go to the key of F, Roderich.” Roderich played the key. “One octave lower. Perfect.”

It really was better. Arthur allowed himself to relax a bit. Mr. Vargas turned to him, looking him up and down. “You have experience in a choir?”

Arthur wanted to cringe at the though. “Yes, sir. Seven years of church choir back in the UK.” He hated every minute of it. The songs were boring, the director had a stick up her ass. Maybe four. No one in the congregation was ever happy with what they did and made sure to give their input after performances. Arthur had a sinking feeling that this would be the same thing.

“Better experience than some people here. How’s sight-reading?”

“Mediocre.”

“It’ll be great by the end of the year. Roderich, play the starting note.” Roderich pressed the key, the noise vibrating through the now silent room. “Now, I don’t know what you’re used to, but we do things a bit differently here. Watch.” Mr. Vargas took a deep breath, Roderich playing the starting key again. “Va~ Za~ Zinga Zinga Zinga Zinga Zing.” His voice was deep and rich, moving to the various pitches with ease born from decades of practice. “That one started with the starting note. The next one, you start with "re”. Va~ Za~ Zinga Zinga Zinga Zinga Zing. And then you go on to “mi”. Got it? Heh, I learned this at a director’s camp a couple years back. Pretty good, right?“

Arthur nodded, not sure if he was doing it as a compliment to Mr. Vargas’ learning or if to show he got it.  He breathed in, his stomach expanding. Just as Mr. Vargas had done it, Arthur did the stupid assessment, going up the scale by one after each segment was over.

When it ended, he relaxed his shoulders, his cheeks hot. Turning to Mr. Vargas, Arthur raised his eyebrow. Mr. Vargas averted his eyes, bopping his a bit. Arthur couldn’t tell if he was trying to build suspense or if Mr. Vargas actually didn’t know what part to put him in, even after that minute of doing eight of those ridiculous segments. Mr. Vargas rolled his eyes back, running his fingers through his hair. "Uh… let’s put you in~-” Mr. Vargas paused, lifting his hand to stroke his chin. He stood there for at least three minutes, Arthur beginning to understand why everyone hated this day. The man took forever to “choose” if he was even doing that. “-bass. Let’s put you in the bass part.”

Arthur sighed, shoulders slumping. Finally, they were done. He turned, walking back to his seat. Mr. Vargas called up the next victim, who Arthur felt a tinge of pity for, but that feeling disintegrated when he remembered the laughter behind his hack as he did his. And the fact that he was made to go first.

While funny at first, watching Mr. Vargas embarrass his students one by one in front of the entire class quickly grew to be dull and irritating. After the fifth guinea pig, a soprano whose voice was high enough to give Arthur a headache that felt like his brain was being viciously stabbed, he had finally had enough, discreetly sliding his current book from his backpack. Arthur had gotten multiple pages in when a very, very familiar name popped up.

“Alfred, my boy, come on up.” Arthur jerked his head up, softly closing his book. He had forgotten Alfred was in the choir. Sure, he had seen him yesterday, joking and playing with some assumed friends of his, but he just dismissed it as yet another class with the fool who thought him to be Australian.

And there he was. Arthur watched Alfred as he walked from the back row to the piano. Alfred and Mr. Vargas shared toothy grins, giving each other a high-five. “Think I’m gonna go down ta bass, Mr. V?”

Mr. Vargas let out a deep, loud laugh. “We’ll just have ta see.” He turned to Roderich, nodding to the keyboard. “Give me a B.”

Like it had what seemed like hundreds of times before, the room fell silent when Roderich pressed the key. Arthur watched as Alfred took a deep breath, fingers fidgeting. As Alfred sang the segments, his voice, while high, was pleasant and smooth. Arthur grinned.

Despite what Kiku said, Alfred looked perfectly fine. His smile was as bright, cheery, and, though he would never admit it to anyone, as contagious as it had been the day before. So either Kiku was a lying piece of rubbish, trying to get Arthur to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, or Alfred F. Jones could reign in his emotions quicker and more efficient than anyone he had every met. Even better than himself.

Alfred finished the last segment, high “do”, looking at Mr. Vargas with hopeful eyes. Mr. Vargas rubbed the back of his neck. “Eh…” He was doing his suspense thing. Arthur groaned, leaning back.

Alfred’s voice was whiny, and though Arthur had spent years of something like it dealing with Peter, he thought it cute. “C'mon, Mr. V!”

“Eh-” Alfred lifted off his heels, up-down-up-down. Mr. Vargas yelled, “Tenor!”

Alfred huffed, stopping his foot down with a “Darn it!”. He then frowned, hanging his head down. Mr. Vargas gave him a couple of pats on the shoulder, which were hard enough for Arthur to hear the thumps even from where he was sitting, before nudging Alfred back to his seat.

When Alfred slumped back into the chair, kicking his feet at the carpet flooring, he turned his head in Arthur’s direction. Arthur gave him a reassuring smile- which from him, was rare- but Alfred just scowled, looking away.

He tsked. Okay, maybe he had deserved a little bit of that, considering his little vent the day before, but the sooner Alfred realized that it was all his fault, he being the one who provoked Arthur, then they could put this all behind them and move along.

If Alfred was going to be like that, then fine. He would ignore him as well. Arthur turned his attention back to his book, opening it as the piano sounded.  He rubbed his forehead, wincing at the high note. The rest of the period was going to be long, if he didn’t kill himself first.

The bell rang, the class seemingly sighing with relief in unison. Arthur pulled his backpack from under his chair, shoving his book inside and zipping it up.

After an entire period, Mr. Vargas had only assigned less than half the class their sections, claiming that they would do the rest tomorrow. And the thing was, he probably knew what part a good number of people were, but, as Arthur had heard, Mr. Vargas enjoyed doing more than he had to, usually making the class suffer. Though, Arthur doubted the man really cared.

He stood, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. The classroom was quickly emptied, the only ones left being himself, Roderich, Mr. Vargas, and a few stragglers. Arthur was just about to clear out into the hallway, already having one foot out the door, when Mr. Vargas spoke.

“Arthur Kirkland?”

“He stopped, ducking his head back into the classroom. "Yes, sir?” “Come here. I wanna talk to ya.”

Arthur huffed, walking back towards Mr. Vargas’ desk. Mr. Vargas and Alfred were at least on friendly terms, that much was evident, and he could’ve blabbed and blown out of proportion what had happened yesterday. Or maybe it was Kiku, the fool.

Mr. Vargas was leaning against his desk with both his hands propping him up on the veneer. “We have a Madrigal Choir here. Y'know what that is, right?”

“Madrigals are secular songs sung several centuries ago.”

“Pretty much. I want you to join ours.” He handed Arthur a paper, a smile widening on his face.

Arthur took the paper, looking it over with a scrutinizing eye. he raised his head up back to Mr. Vargas. “Why me?”

Mr. Vargas’ cheeks darkened and he averted his eyes, raising his arm to rub the back of his neck. It seemed to be a nervous habit of his. “Uh…” he sighed, dropping his hand. “Look, my grandson- he has… troubles when dealing with other people. Rude. Pushes them away. Tries his best to humiliate them when he can.” Mr. Vargas looked off, smiling about his brat of a grandson “-one time he held a fake mustache to one of Mr. Beilschmidt’s sons, Ludwig, I think it was. You shoulda seen it. Hilarious.

But he’s actually kind, gentle, caring to the people he cares about. And when he’s in cooking club, talking about cooking, or just anything about it in general, he has something that he’s interested in. He has something that he belongs to-” “I’m not your grandson, Mr. Vargas.” And he certainly didn’t want to be compared to him, whoever he was.

“ And I know that. But why did I ask you? Let’s just say that your conduct isn’t exactly a secret among the teachers. The ones that have you, at least. You need something to belong to. Now, I know you might say that you already have this choir, but you need something else. This, this could be it. Please consider it. We’d love to have ya.” Mr. Vargas winked at the last part, Arthur smirking to go along.

Arthur didn’t need to know about Mr. Vargas’ grandson, nor did he care. He knew that the teachers were aware of his reports and he was flattered that they were talking about him. But that didn’t mean that he needed or wanted to be asked to join a Madrigal Choir, of all things.

He nodded, moving his eyes corner to corner to make it seem as if he were actually considering it.  "I- uh… will think about it.“

Mr. Vargas’ smile was blinding and he seemed elated as he put his arm on Arthur’s shoulders, leading him towards the door. "I really hope you decide to do this.”

Arthur nodded, walking out of the classroom. He turned back towards Mr. Vargas, giving a small smile. “I do as well, sir. have a good day, sir.” He started walking down the hallway, making his way to his next class. “Don’t be who they want you to be, Arthur!”

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir.” He saw people staring at him, at Mr. Vargas. He glared at those people, snorting at their shocked faces, and walked faster. Arthur would only join that stupid choir when Hell froze over.