#i didnt realize i moved it so low before posting lmao

[camels-pen]

For the prompt thing:

How about Sanji or Zoro being jealous of how much time the other spends with Usopp.

Or

Zoro/Sanji being impressed by how skilled Usopp is because he saves him/them in battle or something.

(Your writing is really good btw)

thank you for the prompts 💚 and im glad you like my writing :D

-

There was a tremble in his arms. In his bones.

The beating of his heart drowned out everything else. Nothing but the odd bump babump bababump.

His body started to feel light. His head too.

His vision flickered a moment. Then two. Hearing was next, he thought, but he wasn’t sure.

Just as his breathing stuttered, his vision was filled with brown boots.

Someone was calling his name. Someone familiar.

He looked up.

Oh.

“Zoro! Hey!” The familiar voice and distant sound of rapidly growing plants soothed his aches like a balm. “Answer me, you bastard!”

“‘ere,” he said, fighting against his fluttering eyelid. “‘m awake.”

“Good! You better stay awake until I get you to Chopper!” Usopp shouted, readying his slingshot with a quick glance backwards. Zoro went to nod, but nearly sent himself falling over.

At some point, he’d ended up on his knees, swords on the ground next to him in a loose grip. He didn’t remember that happening. Regardless, he wouldn’t leave Usopp to fight alone no matter how much blood he’d lost. He started to tighten his grip, to pick himself up, but paused when Usopp spoke again.

“Don’t, you idiot! Let me handle them!” 

He looked up again. “Not leaving you to—”

“Give me a break,” Usopp said with a laugh, letting another shot fly. Moments later, a line of bamboo shot up out of the ground followed by pained screams. He turned and jabbed a thumb in his chest. “These guys are hardly a challenge for the Great Usopp!”

“Not them…” Zoro trailed off. He gritted his teeth, the pain forcing him to stay conscious. “Big fish,” he said quickly, quietly.

Usopp squatted in front of him. He lightly patted Zoro’s arms and chest, not enough to really do an injury check, rather just brushing over the larger and more visible wounds all across his front. Usopp’s gaze stayed on Zoro’s. “I know,” he whispered. “I can feel them too.”

“Feel—?” Zoro’s eyes widened. “Usopp, when did—?”

“Later, okay?” Usopp gave him a soft grin. “For now, just let me handle this.”

And what was Zoro to say to that, except, “She turns into a bloodsucking gnat.” 

“Mosquito, I’m a mosquito!” shouted the gnat woman, her voice echoing across the clearing. “And quit flirting, it’s annoying!”

This was the moment where Usopp’s knees would start to shake, or his entire body would tremble, or he would start muttering about how he didn’t want to die from a gnat woman. 

Instead, Usopp simply held his gaze and cupped his cheeks. Zoro hardly noticed the blood on his palms, through the warmth seeping into his skin. “I’ll take you to Chopper soon, don’t pass out until then.”

There was a kiss on his forehead. Then another to his bleeding temple. A third, above his left eyebrow, at the tip of his scar. Zoro’s brows furrowed. “‘Sopp?”

Usopp shushed him lightly and continued, slow and unhurried. He pressed a kiss between Zoro’s brows and Zoro couldn’t help it. His face smoothed out and he started to relax under Usopp’s attention. “Thought… wanted me to… awake?” he said, his aim for an irritated grumble completely missed and came out more like a contented sigh. 

Still, Usopp stayed silent. Zoro’s eyelid was fluttering again, but he could recognize the determination in his eyes.

“That’s it!” the gnat woman shouted. “You’re dead!”

There was a high pitched zipping sound and Zoro stiffened. “She’s com—”

In one swift movement, Usopp turned and fired. The gnat woman made some kind of choked noise and Zoro heard a series of small thuds before she skidded close enough for him to see. There was a trickle of blood running down her face and a rather large indent in her temple. One of Usopp’s Lead Stars was rolling around, not far away.

Zoro’s eye widened. He knew Usopp was good—he never doubted his ability in sniping—but that was… wow. The woman was about the size of a Tontatta, yet Usopp knocked her out of her high speed attack like it was nothing. And with a single shot, no less.

Although, he shouldn't be surprised. He huffed in place of a laugh. What was that line Usopp used to say?

“Even a mouse’s eye,” Zoro said, sheathing his swords. “You’re amazing… you know that?”

Usopp sputtered, turning back to Zoro. “I’ll take the compliment, but please don’t bring up Sogeking. I’m strong enough to not need him anymore!” he said, practically whining. 

“You are,” Zoro said, the words easy and immediate. “Strong enough to show off, even.”

“Ah, that was—” Usopp scratched his cheek, looking away.“I-I needed to draw her out, and I thought it’d be fitting, y’know? After seeing the way she was hurting you with her tricks.” 

Liar, Zoro thought fondly. Aloud, he said, “We should kiss.”

Usopp laughed, his face splitting into a brilliant smile. “Sorry Zoro, you know the rules. Make outs are for after medical treatment.” 

Zoro grumbled. Chopper wasn’t even here and Zoro wasn’t about to kick it. “You shouldn’t listen to him as much.”

“You should listen to him more.”

Usopp hoisted Zoro into his arms with ease, one hand under his knees and one around his shoulders. Zoro rested his head against Usopp’s chest with a sigh. “S’rry,” he mumbled, the fight against unconsciousness growing harder with each step his boyfriend took. 

“Apology not accepted.” Usopp leaned down to leave a peck on his nose. “I’ll come to your rescue anytime, just like I know you’ll come to mine.”

[themolldollincident]

Queer tormented by ocd plays disco elysium absolutely zooted on edibles, a tragically short story in only seven snapchats

Not my typical content but i had to post it.

I LOVE video games but my OCD makes them very distressing to play sometimes. My playthrough HAS to be perfect or i get extremely distressed - not like i have to do a good job and win, but more like every single playthrough has to be a beautiful work of art from beginning to end, no decisions or time wasted on things that dont serve the STORY and the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, and CERTAINLY no sidequests left uninvestigated and no bonus content left undiscovered. This has gotten harder in recent years as video games have become more complex and more beautiful, so oftentimes you CANT uncover every single thing AND play a consistent character, because huge swaths of content are often locked behind certain decisions that you CANT MAKE if you're committing to a specific character arc or story. So anyway a while ago I played through Disco Elysium. I LOVED IT. It was FANTASTIC. It was difficult to get through at times because of the ocd but it was so so worth it and helped me practice not engaging in compulsions.

HOWEVER.

I recently decided to play it through AGAIN while absolutely fucking ZOOTED on some edibles i've discovered that make it to where i basically dont fucking have my extremely severe case of ocd for just a few hours. (They are heavenly and i love them). I thought it would be really fun to play the whole game again, but this time i ONLY open up this save when im zooted, and i ONLY have fun, with NO pressure to make the playthrough any kind of art. JUST have FUN playing a VIDEO GAME for the first time in my life. I decided i would ONLY pick the dialogue options i found the most amusing, without doing my typical 20 minutes of overthinking for each dialogue box. I was going goofy mode and i was so excited. It didnt exactly go the way i thought it would though LMAO

This is the result of that tragically short but hilarious playthrough that had me SCREAMING in my living room, told in 7 snapchats

1. Opening the game and noticing something i somehow never noticed during the whole first playthrough around 5:35 pm

2. Creating a character build, 5:38 pm

3. Deciding to have a 1 in all stats except psyche and pour all points into psyche so that i can be psychic cop, failing to realize (because edibles) that there is a low attribute cap at the beginning, so i just accidentally chose to hamstring my attributes and just NOT USE my three points to build my character, 5:40 pm

4. Choosing ONLY Inland Empire for my skill increase, once again failing to realize that i wasnt maxxing out inland empire, i was just failing to use two skill points. Also i was enjoying the music in the skill screen, which is beautiful, but since i was high i thought the 5 minutes i spent just vibing to the music was like 30 minutes so i thought i wasted a bunch of time, 5:48pm. (Ive decided to call this method of accidentally using only one skill/attribute point at the beginning of the game because youre too zooted to play video games well "Harry-Maxxing".)

5. Going through the "trying to wake up" beginning of the game choosing only the funniest dialogue options and seeing dialogue i had never seen before! Fun! But also before i took this pic i referenced the nina chimera FMA meme and my partner hadnt heard of it so i explained it for only like 10 minutes, but again, since i was high, i thought i wasted like 2 hours on that. But it was only 6:16 pm.

6

6. and 7. A glorious 3 minutes later, i decide turning the light on is a great first move (its been a bit since my first playthrough). Again, i am only choosing the funniest dialogue options and not thinking super well, so i just kept saying shit like "BRING IT ON" and "Let it all go" because i thought it was typical harry being overdramatic and weird, and i thought it was hilarious. Turns out i had a heart attack from turning the light on and immediately died. Literally like 5 minutes of actual playtime. Incredible. I love this game.

It wasnt the full playthrough i was hoping for but it was awesome. Rip harry number 2. I definitely recommend harry-maxxing

[bunny-rambles]

hiii im back because whenever i feel awful i love going to your blog and rereading some fics and chilling out and sending an ask if im not too shy ehehe. anyways ik your post abt ideas a while ago but this just an silly little brainrot im thinking of writing, got some stuff planned out lmao but its kinda cheesy *nervous laughter*

anyways so. basically former!harbinger!reader and childe are together and they are painfully chaotic and so down bad for each other. the thing is that neither of them have told each other of their secret identity because they want to protect each other and also because they are really fucking blind to each others affections. ANYWAYS so being a former harbinger who faked their death, theres always rumours and agents on the prowl trying to find reader as some didnt believe that they died. And obvi childe has enemies bc hes a fatui harbinger as well. SO SO THIS ENDS UP WHEN THEM JUST BEING DRUGGED OR SOMETHIGN AND THEN WAKING UP AND BEING LIKE OH FUCK THIS IS BAD BUT WAIT MY S/O IS HERE I CANT REVEAL MY IDENTITY but then reader and childe bust out crazy fight moves when the bad guys come back and just ✨power coupling✨ their way through it until they get back to safety and stare at each other in shock like what the fuck just happened lmao, my sweet, soft absolutely adorable partner JUST DID THAT?? and they both realize they have to explain themselves lmao

ahaha im totally not wondering if i should send this in at all because im weirdly nervous and shyyyyy but i hope you’re feeling okay today!

- king (🫣🥴)

Oh dearest,

I’m so happy my blog is a safe space for you. You’re always welcome here, and I’ll do what I can to offer comfort to you through my stories 💞

Now onto your idea, I feel like I’m experiencing deja vu- have we talked about this idea before? Regardless, I’m happy to read it again !!

This reminds me a lot of SPYXFAMILY but without the ‘family’.

I can see Childe pretending to play into the toy seller persona he puts on for his brother to the reader, and the reader taking up an innocent job that wouldn’t raise any eyebrows in their region.

Lmfao them being absolutely clueless

Childe: ‘I got you some flowers because they remind me you.’

Reader: ‘So… I irritate your nose and make your eyes watery?’

Or

Reader: ‘this place would be perfect for a romantic date.’

Childe: ‘I hope whoever you bring likes it!’

Dumbasses in love is a trope I adore dearly, almost as much as enemies to lovers. Anyways,

Reader and Childe getting kidnapped with each other but intentionally holding back what they can do when they’re both imprisoned is both hilarious and unfortunate. It’s only when one of you lands a particularly strong hit all hell breaks loose and you both start showing your true powers. Childe low-key thinks you’re hot when you’re fighting ngl-

Imagine the conversation after-

Both: ‘You can fight?!’

Both: ‘uh…’

Both: ‘you go first-‘

Both, again at the same time: ‘I’m a harbinger-‘

And both of them just scream WHAT?! Because they put up such a sweet persona, not a fake one but obviously just hiding their bloodlust and talent for fighting, so they can’t imagine each other being in such a villainous light.

Childe 100% helps the reader in hiding away from the fatui, even if it risks his life doing it. In return, his partner protects him from the fatui finding out he’s helping them. I bet neither tell each other about that though and they’re keeping more secrets bc they’re fucking idiots that have trouble communicating their feelings.

I love this lil AU, if you have anymore brain rot about it, feel free to send it in !! I don’t know what I can add to it though, I hope you enjoyed whatever this was lmfao

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted.  I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

                                                     ---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[sailorshadzter]

here’s me compiling all of my thoughts on episode 1 of season 8!! or at least the thoughts i deemed important enough lmao. big focus on jonsa, political jon, and the starks in general. 

under the cut for SPOILERS + length. 

shout out to all of the amazing content creators out there who have already gif’d this episode. ya’ll are amazing!

anyways, here we go! ps. things could be out of chronological order, sorry lol

lets jump right in with dany and jon arriving at winterfell. i really enjoyed the call back to season 1 bran scrambling up as high as he could to watch robert baratheon & company arrive. 

we have them riding in among dany’s army, looking quite like the royal “couple” they want us to believe they are. dany doesnt look particularly interested to even be there and i think it’s because she’s upset at how everyone is looking at her. jon reminds her that the north isnt easy to impress, that they dont look kindly at foreigners. this isnt pleasing to her. dany has to be loved, by everyone. she cant stand thinking not everyone is on her side. in her mind they have to support her because she’s the queen. 

but she’s not queen, not yet at least. 

next comes the dragons. 

the northerners run, some screaming in fear, others just stumbling in an attempt to find shelter from the dragons that fly overhead. and just look at dany’s face. look at her! what a smug little smile, i hope she enjoys it because she’s got a lot coming to her this season.

i hate this, i just want everyone to know. i still like dany but this arrogant, mocking girl is driving me insane and it’s only episode 1. what little bit of likeness i had for her will fade real fast at this rate. she’s glad the people fear her dragons and thus fear her. she knows the northerners probably will never come around to her and bend so she’s going to get them on her side the only way she knows how: her dragons. 

lets be real- dany has nothing on her own. she’s nothing but a pretty face with a cold heart capable of dark, brutal things. but what if there werent any dragons? what would she be without them? who would fear her then? sure, she’s got a big ass army... but armies can be beaten. armies can be led astray by their own leaders doing. so yeah, she’s got an army but in the end, thats not foolproof. but dragons? those are pretty damn foolproof (unless you send your ~romantic interest~ off on a suicide mission that ends up costing you one of said dragons). she’s going to try and coerce everyone in the north through fear and it might work on the common folk, but wait til she meets the Starks.

yeah, do these girls look afraid?

not at all.

youre a man. almost. 

 i low key teared up at their reunion. it was sweet. plus it was nice to see bran in a more human moment. he’s always so robotic, i thought it was nice to hear him joke a little. 

as jon is looking at bran, you can see the moment he realizes sansa is looking at him. he pulls back from bran and turns to her (wow she looks beautiful, i cant even get over that). 

(gif by @stark)

sansa opens her arms to jon and i have to admit... the hug felt almost lackluster... at first. once i watched it a second and third time, i started seeing the things i didnt see the first time. 

for one thing- it was so amazing in the trailer because we could see jon’s face. kit is so incredible at his facial expressions and you knew exactly what jon was feeling the moment he saw sansa. with sansa, she’s very subdued- but its definitely done on purpose. obviously, she’s happy to see jon but she’s angry with him too. and dozens of people are there watching them, including this queen he’s brought with him. she has to be careful. 

(gif by @stark)

this instant, ever since i saw the trailer, ive thought jon whispered something to her. that’s why her eyes immediately flick up and pin their focus on dany who is standing just across the courtyard. we dont hear jon say anything but that doesnt mean he doesnt. what i find interesting about this is how in the episode, we’re shown sansa’s face and her emotional reactions to whats happening, but we dont see jon’s. in the trailer, it cuts to sansa’s eyes as soon as jon reaches her embrace, so we never see jon’s face in this scene. meaning, we dont see his lips ever move. i still want to believe he whispers something to her, but i almost feel like sansa would have referenced it later in the episode when they speak privately. but, you never know! 

next we have jon introducing sansa to dany, which as we all suspected, did not go well. 

as dany walks up, she’s smiling, her tone charming. her eyes are wide and she looks soft- she’s good at this. notice how no one in the courtyard moves, no one kneels or even bows in dany’s presence as they had once done for robert baratheon. this is not their queen. 

i literally laughed as dany said this. 

she’s trying desperately to come across as likable. she knows most of the north won’t bow to her without the backing of this girl and while she has her dragons to instill fear, she probably does want sansa to like her. she’s in love with her “brother” after all. they’d be sisters, so they should get along, right? 

wrong. 

sansa sees right through her. she’s good at finding a liar- she’s spent her whole life around them. learning from them, the best of them. you cant lie or manipulate sansa stark. not anymore. 

(gif by @cptainsrogers)

whew boy, that’s the face of someone who’s pissed. how quickly she changes!! as soon as sansa speaks, she loses her smile and blinks and she breathes in. she’s trying to restrain herself and keep a calm, cool composure. but its written all over dany’s face here- she’s not happy. 

again, im reminded that this is a woman who cant be told no and who doesnt like when someone isnt falling over themselves to please her. sansa is clearly not impressed with dany and she’s not afraid to let her know that. she’s calm, polite, but her tone & face says everything her words cant. 

bran interrupting was great. 

he sees what’s going on here and he’s right, now isnt the time for a little cat fight. he tells them that the night king has a dragon & dany’s reaction is clear she didn’t know that yet (right? i could be forgetting lol) & basically there’s like 100 other things they need to think about right then. which to be fair is totally true. but i had hoped to see a little more between sansa & dany.  what i loved though was jon didn’t look at dany when bran mentioned the night king having her dragon, he looked at sansa. 

now i wanna talk about arya and jon’s reunion because

well... i have feelings.

while the initial reunion was really sweet & had me crying, it ended real quick

this scene is where i really noticed jon was “off” 

jon stoops down and puts a hand on her shoulder (which arya looks down at) as he talks to her. where were you before? i could have used your help with sansa. she doesnt like your queen, does she?

then we get this next line from jon.  

first things first, it’s almost like jon doesnt realize she’s grown up. he’s got his hand on her shoulder, down at her level like you would with a kid. i mean, he probably cant help it, can he? she’s always going to be his kid sister, after all. thats how he knows her and remembers her. not to mention he’s been pretending to be someone else around dany for a long time now, he’s trying to shake himself back into the person his family knows him as 

arya looks at his hand before she says she’s the smartest person i know. you’re defending her now? you?

like he cant really believe that these two sisters that only used to bicker and fight are getting along to the point that arya is defending her to him. this is where i get upset with jon because he’s been gone for how long now? has he even bothered to talk to sansa about all that happened at winterfell? has he even asked her anything about what’s been going on while he was gone? clearly not, or he would know how close arya and sansa have become in his absence. that they’d taken out littlefinger together, even! 

i’m defending my family. so is she. i’m her family too. 

that alone points me into the direction of political jon. he’s avoiding sansa because he’s less likely to control himself in front of her. he might spill the beans about what he’s up to and its not time yet. he cant let that happen, not until the right time. while we all know he’d be better off telling her and the other starklings, so they could fight as a united pack... jon hasn’t come to that conclusion yet. lets hope he gets there next episode, though. 

he sounds so sad, so dejected when he delivers his line. like, sansa should be defending him, smiling, just in general happy to see him back. he’s brought a massive army and dragons! he did what he thought was best for the north and he cant quite grasp why sansa would be upset with him. one of jon’s weaknesses is sansa and how he thinks she feels about him. he craves her approval and he knows she’s angry with him at this point. and man does that bother him. he thinks she should have ultimate faith in him, even though he doesnt really deserve that, does he? anyways, thats a conversation for later in the post.

ps i love that he looks around before saying im her family too. almost as if he’s afraid of being overheard. 

dont you ever forget that.

yeah i had to pause the show at this point just to compose myself. this second hug was just as sweet as the first and im glad it was there. it finished the scene out nicely. 

i love how we got this moment of them being addressed at the same time, in frame like this. i live for moments like this, with them side by side. 

we get a lot of talk back and forth about why jon bent the knee and of course we get lyanna mormont calling his dumb ass out. 

i was waiting for this scene too & it didnt disappoint me. 

also i find his choice of words interesting 

sansa looks back at him and she’s literally the embodiment of the shrug emoji. like bitch i told u so. she has zero sympathy for him and the mess he’s in with the northern lords because she fucking told him it would happen. 

tyrion gets up and tries to do some mega damage control because lets be real, this situation is getting nasty. he talks about dany’s amazing army and the dragons as if this will lighten the mood. he also mentions about the lannister army coming (lol) like this is what will get everyone on their side. 

sansa interrupts and god do i love her more than i ever did

finally someone asking the REAL questions. 

sansa has worried about feeding the entire north the whole time jon has been gone. she’s built up as much as she could to ensure her people didn’t starve to death come winter. now jon shows up with this queen and her massive army with not even a wagon load of grain. when it cuts to dany a moment later, you can see she’s visibly shaken by sansa’s comment. hmm, wonder why? it couldn’t be because she’d just burned TONS of food that could have been used to feed her army and the rest of the north out of spite, right? nah, couldn’t be. 

sansa spits out these words and just look at her face- she’s doing her best to control herself here but her mouth is a snarl and her eyes are narrowed. she’s got every right to be angry over this- her people will probably starve because this so called queen hasn’t provided anything for her own army and now sansa will have to figure it out herself. if she’s this angry already, imagine how she’s going to feel when she learns dany burned all that food when she burned the lannister army. 

what makes me angry here is dany’s response. whatever they want. she’s so fucking childish i cant stand it. like she’s so bent out of shape that sansa’s calling her out basically, she’s going to resort to these sort of comments. like, you keep calling yourself a queen, fucking act like it dany. not a jealous, spoiled little girl. id respect her a whole lot more if she’d stood up for herself and her dragons here but that was never going to happen. its out of her character, especially at this point in her story. her dragons really could never do any wrong, in her eyes. and at this point i wouldnt be surprised to hear her defend them burning houses, crops, or innocent people. 

this episode is not making me like dany anymore. i cant stand characters like her, good or bad ones. and we all know dany is trending bad these days. but sansa doesnt even respond which is fantastic- instead of listening to her, everyone is focused on what dany had just said. we stan the real queen. 

im pretty sure next we see the bit between tyrion and sansa.

i didnt dislike the scene, it was actually pretty good. i especially liked the last time we saw each other was at joffrey’s wedding. dismal affair. it had it’s moments.

we also got this

not only is this true, we also later hear dany threaten sansa. 

interesting. 

but other than that, i didnt take much away from it. sansa was cool to him, as i expected her to be to anyone on dany’s side. tyrion may have been kind to her once, but as far as she’s concerned... he’s basically her enemy now. plus the whole scene before couldn’t have helped. 

somehwere in this we get all that junk with jon and dany. 

i... hated it. all of it. 

but after seeing it im 100% certain political jon is coming. his stiff demeanor with dany hasn’t changed, thats for sure. but what sold me was when dany threatened sansa. 

i’m queen, she must respect me or...

we all know  how jon “dont touch my sister or else” snow acts when someone mentions sansa around him in a way he doesnt like. the fact that jon barely even REACTS is clear in its message: he cant behave like he normally would. not with dany. he cant even go against her because he know how easy it is for her to become swayed. he cant lose control of the situation, not yet. i think he knows things are spiraling out of control more quickly than he anticipated. 

political jon must be a thing because there’s no reason for him to then roam across the north on a fucking dragon. the whole jonerys scene was as lackluster as they all have been and the kiss with drogon watching was very... weird. it felt ominous almost. there was no romance behind it, even if dany wanted there to be. 

but i think its very clear that dany feels threatened by sansa. she needs to be loved by everyone and sansa makes it clear she cares little if at all for her. queen or not, sansa doesnt respect her, nor like her, and she isnt afraid to make it known. i worry how dany is going to behave the deeper into this love triangle we get (because they sure arent being subtle about it). 

also, something i find interesting is the fact that dany would allow jon to ride her dragons at all. now that he has rode rhaegal he’s created a bond with the dragon, essentially taking him from dany’s control. she’s more or less lost 2 dragons now. and if you dont think jon would use this dragon against her to protect his family... then we must be watching two different shows.  

next comes jon’s scene with sansa (i think, at least its what im gonna talk about next lol). finally we get a glimpse of them alone! and god it doesnt disappoint me at all. i mean, id have loved to have more of it of course- yelling and even some tears, but we got something simple and hyper charged with both of their emotions. as always, the jonsa scenes get it done with as little as possible. 

we get a lot of angry stares and heavy sighs. its the same damn energy as the tent scene before the battle of the bastards. i love it. i fucking live for it. there’s so many things left unsaid between them and it makes me want their next scene that much more. literally, this scene was less than 2min long and i got so much from it. 

the scene opens and sansa is in her chamber, reading. the knock on the door sounds and she calls them in and she sighs when she sees it’s jon. the first thing i noticed was jon back in his old direwolf armor- he changed clothes before coming to her rooms- and then sansa paraphrases what the letter she’s holding says. jon parrots back lord glover’s words to them back when they met and thats when sansa gets up, very clearly angry, and says i will stand behind jon snow, the king in the north. she whips around to look at him and walks across the room like she wants to do something else entirely. i told you we needed allies. you didnt tell me you were going to abandon your crown.

this is where jon explodes, much how he explodes back in the tent scene with her. i never wanted a crown! i wanted to protect the north! he tells her, then goes on to say he brought with him an army and 2 dragons. this is where i wish we would have had more- sansa yelling at him about did he even think of how they would feed them all, specifically. but we get a lot of ~emotion~ and im living for every second. 

(gifs by @desired-paradise)

as soon as jon finishes ranting, he heaves a huge sigh (first gif). then he closes his eyes, thinking for a moment, before breaking down an asking her if she has faith in him. look at her face- she’s so hurt. they’re both hurting, honestly. what i love about jonsa scenes is how soft and vulnerable they both are during them. they let down their walls and open their hearts to the other. 

i think that’s why jon is so hurt by how sansa has been treating him since his return. he thinks he deserves her ultimate trust not realizing how he really doesnt deserve it. not,yet. you know i do. despite it all, she does have faith in him. but that doesnt mean she isnt angry or upset with him. and it doesnt change how she feels about dany. trust is not something that comes easy to sansa, not anymore. how can she be expected to trust a complete stranger when even those who were supposed to care about her turned on her? when for so long everyone around her was nothing beyond abusive and harmful. this girl trusts no one but her family and jon should get that better than anyone. 

but he thinks because its him, he gets a pass from her. that because of all they’ve been through together sansa should automatically know where his heart is and the truth of him. but how can she? he’s been gone all this time, promising to find them allies, not a queen that they didn’t ask for or even want. he promised them allies that would help them, not doom them to starvation.

when sansa speaks, he takes a step forward, almost like he thought of reaching for her. but he thinks better of it and says something about how she’ll be a good queen, yada yada. 

 and then... sansa drops this bomb

we never get jon’s answer because thats it, the scene just fucking ends there. like alright guys, thats fine i didnt want the answer anyways. i know jonerys fans are insisting he doesn’t answer because we already know the answer to that. but its not that easy. 

the set up between jon and sansa can’t be for nothing. the back story from season 6 cant just  be a random addition. so many lines that will come back this season (ill protect you, i promise. you are to me. ect) and i cant wait for that. 

next i want to talk about when dany and jorah meet with sam. 

first off, i have to say its weird that jorah has never told dany his name? is that just me? anyways. the scene opens and it reminds me a lot of the feel from her first meeting with sansa. dany is smiling, jovial. this is the man that saved jorah from death and she wants to thank him personally. their conversation goes well- in fact, its kind of sweet how sam behaves. he’s honored to be standing before her, being addressed by her, because he doesnt know who daenerys targaryen is yet. but he’s about to find out.

similarly to how dany reacted when sansa didn’t return her compliment, she goes from soft and smiling to hard and somewhat aggressive.

we go from this: 

to this:

(image from @snowsjohn)

in record time. as soon as sam mentions his name, it registers with dany and she asks him if he meant randyll tarly. that’s when she immediately, without sympathy, tells him she executed his father. you can see sam get visibly upset but he’s doing his best to keep it together, saying at least i can go home now, which by the way... is fucking heartbreaking. now that his brother is in charge he could go back home and be with his family when this whole thing was over. oh nope, dany tells him she executed his brother too. 

how anyone can stand behind this queen, ill never understand. this scene was so sad for sam & so unfeeling for dany. she doesnt even have the sense to pretend to be remorseful for what she’s done to this man’s family. and when sam does leave, she looks upset- but not because of what she’d done to his family. because now she’s in trouble and she knows it. again, they’re making it incredibly easy to dislike dany and they’re doing it for a reason. 

dark dany is coming for us. it’s going to all be revealed in the next two episodes, without a doubt. 

last but not least, i want to talk about sam telling jon the truth of who his parents were. 

(gifs by @kitsn0w)

i loved this whole scene.

while i was really surprised they told jon so early (and that it was sam alone) i enjoyed the shock. i didn’t honestly anticipate the reveal until at least episode 2, if not the third at the latest. but, it added something to the first episode- a similar shock value the first episode of the first season left us with. 

what i take from this scene is a few things, mostly how upset jon seems just to realize that this means ned lied to him his whole life. who gives a fuck about the truth, why didn’t ned just tell him all along? but when sam says the line about robert killing him, he seems to calm down a little. 

what else is interesting is jon’s lack of defending dany here. if he loved her as we’re supposed to believe, wouldnt he have said something beyond this is treason. id expect a “what will i say to her?” or “i cant take this from her, its all shes ever wanted’ or even “its hers, not mine.” anything else! but we got nothing in terms of jon defending dany’s right to the crown. 

and when sam asks him if dany would give up her crown for his people as jon had done, we don’t get jon’s answer. similarly to his scene being cut off with sansa, its done here as well, and we’re only left wondering what he would say. why wouldn’t they let him say? if he loves dany so much, wouldn’t he jump at this chance to defend her? especially to sam, who’s going to have a hell of time going forward now that he learned what dany did to his family. more so, it’s not yet been revealed that she burned them alive. what will they say then? when they realize that? 

i guess we’ll find out next episode, especially now that jaime is in winterfell. im really excited to see what episode 2 brings & im hoping for more dark dany & more private moments among the starks. 

overall, i really did enjoy the episode. i think there were things that could have been done better or differently,  but i think the episode set us up for a lot of good things to come!

in conclusion:

- jonsa is endgame & jonerys is doomed. sorry guys. 

- political jon theory is confirmed (in my mind at least)

- sansa is still the queen of sass.

- arya & gendry flirting is adorable (im sorry i know i didnt talk about them)

- WHERE. IS. GHOST?

thanks for reading!

[mischi3f-manag3d]

Lost and Found - Part 1

Lmao I lied, I’m posting it tonight cause I’m too excited. 

Arthur x Reader x Javier somewhat, but mainly Javier x Reader

Warnings; END GAME SPOILERS, some angst, some fluff, eventual smut (but not in this part)

You rode up beside Sadie as Arthur helped Abigail up onto Sadie's horse.

"Now I don't want no tears. Sadie, take Abigail up to Jack. I gotta go have a chat with Dutch." He said, sadness in his voice.

"You're a good man, Arthur." Sadie responded as she gave him a small smile. They rode off down the path, leaving just you and Arthur.

Your chest tightened realizing the severity of the situation. "Please Arthur."

"Don't. Please don't make this harder than it already is." He placed a hand on your thigh.

A sob escaped your mouth as you jumped down off your horse and engulfed him in a hug. His hands wrapped behind your back and held you close. This felt unreal. This had to be some sick nightmare.

Looking into his eyes, all you saw was sadness and betrayal. You knew he was hurt. After all these years, Dutch had finally betrayed him and the rest of the gang.

You kissed him lightly and gently caressed his cheek. He leaned into your touch knowing this would be the last time you see each other.

"I'll always love you, Arthur Morgan. Don't you forget that." A tear slipped down your cheek. It wouldn't get easier.

"Damn it all. I wanted a life for us away from this hell, y'know? I wanted to give you so much because you deserve it. But here I am, dying. I love you, and I always will. Find someone who takes care of you, please. I can't have you with someone who don't treat you right. Now.. I gotta go, I'm sorry." He said as he gave you one final kiss.

He helped you back up onto your horse and held a gaze with you. He loved you more than anything else in this world. He had wanted so badly to get away from it all and be with you. To start a family. But that all came crumbling down the minut he got his diagnosis. He gave your hand a squeeze and brought it to his lips before walking off to his own horse. He gave you a small smile before turning around towards the camp.

As you rode away you couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that tore away at you. You promised him, no tears, but you were so hurt. It was unbearable. Tears streamed down your face as you rode up to meet with Sadie and Abigail. You knew that that was the last time you'd see Arthur and it killed you inside. This was the ending to the best thing that ever happened to you. Yet, you didn't realize what the future had in store for you.

~7 years later~

Alone. That's all you've been for the past 7 years. Here and there you'd tag along with some people, but eventually you'd stray away on your own. Everyone in the gang had went their separate ways, hiding from the law.

7 years since Arthur's passing, and yet you still thought about him from time to time. After 2 years you had let yourself move on. You knew it's what Arthur would've wanted. Your heart ached the first few times you had spent the night with someone, but they helped you to forget your hell of a life. It was an escape.

You made your way through the small town of Rhodes, not expecting much. Your supplies were running low and you needed a place to rest. The town seemed less lively than when you were here last, yet it was better than nothing. Making your way inside the general store you were met with a familiar face.

"Pearson?" You asked, excitement lingering in your voice. He was instantly recognizable and you couldn't help the joy that filled you upon seeing one of your old gang members.

"Y/n? Is that really you? Wow is it good to see you." He chuckled.

"So this is what you've made for yourself? This is good, real good." You smiled making your way to the counter to look at the supplies.

"Its nice not running from the law for a change." He said, returning a smile.

This was exactly what you needed right now. Knowing that someone from the gang was alive and doing well for themselves lifted your spirits.

"Has- has anyone else passed through?" You questioned as you finished buying your supplies.

"John, Abigail and Jack pass through from time to time. They live over by Blackwater now, doin real well for themselves. Heard Tilly's married and expecting a child and Mary-beths got herself a writing career. Actually... you just missed Javier.. he just passed through about an hour ago.. probably hasn't gotten far. Said he was headin over to Saint Denis. His guitars pretty spent so he'd like to get himself a new one." Pearson finished as he handed your stuff to you.

You couldn't help the smile that plastered your face. Knowing that so many of the gang had made it. Made a life for themselves, and survived. And Javier... you had to go see him.

"Thank you Pearson. It was so good to see you, and I will make sure I come to visit you again." You smiled as you hugged him over the counter.

"Was nice seeing you too Y/n." He chuckled, returning the hug.

You made your way out of the shop and mounted your horse. Hopefully you'd be able to catch up to him, you thought. Javier was your best friend back when the gang was together. Arthur had found it hard to not get jealous at times from how often you two were together. He understood over time that you and Javier were just friends, but he couldn't help the heat that would course through him every so often.

Excitement filled you and you anticipated telling Javier everything that had happened to to this point. You couldn't wait to hear what he'd been up to and what life had brought him.

Eventually you made your way into Saint Denis. It was much different than you remember, considering they now have a music store that definitely wasn't there seven years ago. The store wasn't hard to find and you could make out Boaz from a mile away. You smiled, happy that his horse was still very much alive and healthy.

You hitched your horse and slowly made your way inside. Music filled your ears as you entered the shop. It was huge and very lively. People wandered through the shop, glancing at the various instruments on the walls. It was hard to make your way around the crowd of people, but eventually you saw the slender man, his back to you as he stared up at a beautiful guitar. It looked just like his old one, only cleaner and a little more detailed.

You were surprised to feel your heart race as you walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder lightly.

"Hey, do you know where I can find my friend? He's tall and Mexican.."

He turned around, ready to tell the person to quit bothering him before he realized it was you.

"Dios mio.. y/n? You're alive.." he didnt give you a chance to respond before he engulfed you in a hug, nuzzling his face in your neck.

"Te extrañé" he whispered, continue to hold you in his embrace.

You hugged him back, overwhelmed with comfort and happiness.

"I've missed you to, Javi. I missed having someone to talk to." You laughed as you pulled away slightly to see his face.

He smiled at you, almost lovingly, "We have a lot of catching up to do, hermosa. But, first, I need to get myself a new guitar. My love has taken quite a beating over the years and she's not sounding the same."

You laughed at his way of speaking about his guitar. But you knew that he cared about that guitar more than anything.

He told the clerk about the guitar he had been eyeing up, wondering the cost of beautiful instrument.

"$1200, but the lowest I'll go is $1000." He spoke, firm on his price.

Javier scoffed, digging through his pockets for his cash. Realizing he only had about 300 on him, he sighed before telling the clerk it would have to wait for another time. He made his way towards the entrance, looking back at you, his look telling you to follow.

"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll meet you out there in just a minute." You smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. He nodded and returned your smile before making his way outside.

Making sure he was out of sight, you made your way to the clerk.

"I'd like that guitar that my friend was looking at. I'll give you 500 and this." You offered, taking a gold necklace out of your satchel. It was a necklace you had received a very long time ago from Dutch for your 18th birthday. You knew it was worth a lot, and it did have some emotional value to you, but after everything that had happened, you knew it was time for it to go.

The clerk thought for a minute before agreeing, handing you the guitar as he took the money and the necklace.

"Thank you very much sir."

You made your way outside, looking over to where Javier was. He was sitting on his horse, looking down at his hands.

"Hey, I thought you might like something." You gave him a wide smile as you handed the guitar to him.

"Y/n... you didnt have to." He said, almost at a lack of words to say.

"I wanted to. It's okay. Now let's get out of here, I'd like to hear some music." Smiling as you made your way to your horse.

It felt so unreal to be with Javier again. He was the comfort you needed in your life. You couldn't help the butterflies that took flight in your stomach as you glanced over to him. Confusion quickly took its place. You couldn't possibly have feelings for him, could you? You shook your head trying to rid yourself of the thoughts as you continued to ride next to him.

"I know it might bring up bad memories, but, I know a place we can stay for a while.."

You gave him a look, urging him to continue.

"Shady Belle... look, I know it's not perfect. But it's a spacious area, a roof over our heads, and no one has been around that area for a long time. Lemoyne Raiders have basically gone extinct and there aren't many gangs sticking around here." He said, hoping to convince you of the location.

You sighed knowing he was right. It would be nice to have a place of your own for a while, rather than wandering all the time. Nodding, you pushed on towards the abandoned house.

It was just like how you remembered it. Run down, humid, and wet. But, it was better than nothing. You hitched your horse alongside his and followed him into the house.

After you had cleared the rooms for any stragglers, you started setting up your things. Javier had insisted you take the master room upstairs that had previously been Dutchs headquarters. You had tried to go against him, but that was no use. He chose the bedroom next to it that was still fairly spacious. You set your bed roll up and laid down, trying to get comfy. Your eyes fluttered shut and before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

It felt so good to have somewhere fairly safe to stay, and to have Javier here with you. Little did you know that now that you were back with him, he would protect you with his life. He wanted the best for you, he wanted to be with you. He cursed himself for the thoughts and feelings he harbored, yet he couldn't help it. You had always been so close, even now it felt like nothing had changed. Seven years had gone by and you still smiled at him the same way you did before. He knew he had feelings for you back when you were with Arthur, but now that he knew you were alive, he wanted to embrace them. But, the thought of ruining what he has with you kept his thoughts at bay. Maybe one day you'd share his feelings he thought as he got comfortable on his bed roll, ready for bed, even though deep down, you already did. You just didn't know it yet.

~the next morning~

"Buenas dias cariña." He spoke lightly from outside your room as he knocked, hoping to awake you from your slumber.

"You should come get something to eat. I made food, and surprisingly I didn't burn it." He chuckled to himself.

You stretched before sitting up, trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes. The thought of him making food for you brought a smile to your face.

You walked over to the door and opened it, not expecting him to be right there. You ran straight into him, falling forward. He caught you and helped you stand up as you both started laughing.

"Clumsy this morning are we?" He chuckled.

You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks. Never had you felt this way being so close to him. It felt right, but you wanted to brush those thoughts away.

You looked up to him before laughing lightly. His eyes spoke to you, but you couldn't tell what. There was a glimmer that you hadn't noticed before. Yes you had moved on, but could you bring yourself to be with the one that Arthur used to despise you being around? Yet, wouldn't he want you to be happy?

A million thoughts raced through your mind as you stood there in silence, a longing gaze being shared between you two. His hand lightly grazed over your check, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your cheek. It felt as if the butterflies could explode out of you at any minute.

"You look so beautiful." He whispered, moving closer to you.

Your breathing had picked up and your heart was racing faster than you ever thought it could. You were so close that you could feel his breath your face.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." He said before leaning to close the gap between you two. Part of you wanted to fight this, feeling it was wrong of you. But, this felt right too. Maybe this was what you needed all along.

His lips lightly grazed over yours, giving you time to back out. But, you didn't. You wanted this, you needed this. You leaned forward, finalizing your decision to do this. His lips were surprisingly soft, and they felt so good against yours. He let out a light moan, surprised at your actions.

He couldn't help how turned on he was. You were so beautiful to him and he had wanted this for long. Sparks flew between the two of you as the kiss continued, a fire burning inside you both.

He slowly pushed you backwards until you were up against the wall. You couldn't help the moan that escaped you as your back hit the wall. This only got him going more. A hand grazed over your hip as his other hand held your neck, kissing you deeper. His hand slowly moved to lift your shirt up.

You broke away, needing to catch your breathe and stop this before it got too far. You wanted this as much as he did, but you couldn't go there. Not yet at least.

"We can't," you spoke out of breath, "at least not yet."

As sexually frustrated and turned on as he was, he understood. He nodded, "Okay. I can wait."

"Now let's go eat, I'm starving!" You giggled, placing a light kiss on his lips and running to the stairs.

He laughed, chasing after you down to the kitchen. His hand captured yours and spun you around to face him.

He held your face as he kissed you, wanting to feel your lips against his again. He couldnt get enough of it. "You're sure you want this?" Looking to you for any sign of uncomfort.

"Yes, Javier. More than anything. But, I want to take it slow with you okay? We're not running from the law anymore. We can get jobs, make lives for ourselves. We don't have to rush things like we wouldve had to before." You spoke, running a hand through his hair as he held you close.

"That's okay with me. As long as I have you in my life, I'm happy." He smiled, raising your hand to his lips.

"Now, what did you make for us?" You laughed, taking a seat at the table.

"Your favorite.. pancakes!" He laughed with you as he served you both a plate.

Life had given you a fair share of beatings. Love and loss. But, for once, everything felt like it wasn't going to end badly. You knew Javier would give you all the love he could and you felt happy again. The hole that had been in your heart for so long was finally being filled.

[naptis-lucis-caelum]

HAPPY 420 (Noctis x Reader)

welllll it’s officially 420 and I’m stoned so might as well right? based on this photo of Noct, Iggy, and Prompto getting high as fuck floating around, posted by his-shining-tears, and the source says Twitter but the link just goes to the homepage. if anybody knows the original source, kindly send it to my inbox please! idk why it got fluffy in the end, but yall know me i’m a thirsty Noctis hoe and will do just about anything to write about him lmao. AANNNNDDD ENJOY 

p.s. I know they’re in a tent in the photo but wtv

Rating: SFW

Pairing(s): Noctis Lucis Caelum/Reader

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Warning(s): Drugs, swearing

Plot Summary: The guys invite you to celebrate the mystical stoner holiday of 4/20 with a little help from Gladio’s not-so-secret stash.

Words: 2,143

As soon as you finished your last lecture for the day, your phone began to vibrate violently in your pocket.

New Message from CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD:

WRU????

“Oh, for the love of–” you hurriedly scrolled down in order to hide that extremely compromising photo of the Crown Prince and his Crownsguard. 

You lowered the brightness of your screen and scrolled back up again, pinching the screen and zooming on their faces. The only thing that gave Prompto’s current state of mind away was the redness in his eyes; Iggy was clearly stoned, with his eyes almost invisible; while Noct’s cheeky grin-and-thumbs-up combination made your heart flutter a little bit. Leaving the classroom, you replied,

omfg whose stash are u smoking?

CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD: irrelevant question

You knew for a fact that Ignis had grabbed Prompto’s phone to send that reply himself. 

CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD: u didnt answer the question

i just finished class

CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD: k cool were at the apartment

The sender’s disregard for mentioning whose apartment they were in specifically only meant that the person currently holding Prompto’s phone was none other than the owner of the apartment himself, Noctis.

...is that an invitation or

CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD: obvs

CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD: hurry

CHOCOBO BUTT HEAD: AND BRING FOOD

With two paper bags filled with chips, candy, and Ebony, you stepped off the elevator and entered the hallway. You could already smell the dank from there, hearing laughter faintly echoing the corridor. The noise gradually got louder as made your way to the apartment, confirming that they were indeed the laughter of your friends.

After a bit of struggling, you finally managed to ring the doorbell. Obvious shuffling from the other side of the door moved closer to you until a blondie opened the door.

“She’s here!” Prompto yelled out. He looked back at you and noticed the bags you were carrying, taking them off your hands and adding, “And she bought the food, guys!”

You closed the door behind you and followed Prompto into the living room. On the floor sat the other two who appeared in the photo; they were missing an additional person. You stared at each of their obviously stoned faces one by one, adding two and two together until it hit you.

“So,” you grinned, joining their circle and taking the space between Noctis and Ignis. “Does Gladio know you’re smoking his weed?”

Noct chuckled lazily, “Nope, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Ignis passed you a freshly rolled joint and a lighter. “Spark it?” he offered with a sluggish smile.

“Why thank you, Iggy.”

You took the joint and placed the filter between your lips, leaning forward as Ignis sparked the lighter. You took a puff, then another, and one more until the burn looked even from your end. A deep exhale with a cloud of smoke escaped your lips, adding to the already low visibility of the room. Psychedelic rock music softly blasted from Noct’s speakers on the table as you passed it over to Prompto who was busy digging in.

He grabbed the joint and took a sip of water. “You guys know what,” he inhaled sharply. “I love eating.”

Prompto took another puff, holding it in for a couple seconds before releasing completely. He passed it to Iggy who just opened a can of Ebony. Careful, he took a quick sip from his fountain of youth and followed it with a deep inhale of his perfect roll.

“And I love Ebony.”

The Prince happily accepted Iggy’s joint offer, moving forward to grab it before leaning back on the couch. He stretched out his right leg and fixed his left knee up. 

Giggling, he took his first drag of the new joint. “And I love–” He turned to you for a second then quickly looked away, shaking his head. “Lucis!” he quickly finished, exhaling the smoke.

“You always get nationalistic when you’re high,” you pointed out, erupting in laughter with Prompto and Iggy. 

Noct joined in and ran a hand through his midnight hair, “It’s because I think the past Kings of Lucis try to speak to me when I’m stoned!”

The roaring got louder with his comment and the joint started another cycle. You took it from Noct and passed it on to Prompto who kept it between his thumb and index fingers. 

“Do you guys think the past Kings see us right now?” he asked.

“If they did,” Noct said. “I just wanna say sorry to my great-great-great-grandfather’s grandfather,” he finished off.

Next thing you knew, Noct was already handing the joint to you. Has it been that long already? Or did I space out? Wow, this is some pretty good shit.

Your eyes began to droop, but from the corner of your eye, you could see the Prince watching you take a hit. Unsure of whether it was the weed or just you, you started to become more conscious of your actions as you handed the half-joint over to the marksman. Prompto let it hang on the corner of his lips for a few moments, fixing the snacks you had bought on the table in the middle of your circle.

“... I’m fairly certain His Majesty’s done his fair share of rule breaking,” Ignis chimed in, snapping you back into reality.

Okay, you were transcending your current realm. 

You shook your head to look at the three men chatting away. You must’ve been quiet for a while now, considering the fact that you weren’t entirely sure what they were on about.

“King Regis toking? Fuck me, that’d make for one hell of a cover!” Noct exclaimed as he entered a fit of laughter. 

Slowly, Iggy exhaled once more and a cloud of smoke appeared above your heads. He tapped Noct’s arm and showed him the remaining of the joint, prompting him to calm down a little bit so he could take his hit.

“Your old man? A stoner?” Prompto reiterated with his thumb under his chin. “I could so picture it, dude!”

“And as it turns out, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Ignis teased.

“Get off my dick, Iggy,” Noct joked in response, making all of you laugh this time. “And stop trying to sneak vegetables in my food all the damn time. If you like them so much, just eat it yourself!” He puffed out and stretched his arm out to you. “You should roach this,” he suggested with a faint smile quirking up his lips. 

“Nah, go ahead,” you offered back. “You’re already holding it.”

“But you just got here!” he retorted, moving his arm up and down to add emphasis to the burning joint. “Those in favor, say I.”

“I!” Prompto and Iggy voted together, raising their right hands in support.

You shrugged, “If you insist.”

You roached what was left of the roll, then killed it on the ashtray on the table. The moment you leaned back on the couch, you felt a tap on your arm and saw Noctis doing the exact same thing he was doing just now.

“Wait, what the fuck?” you said out loud, looking over at the filter of the last joint on the ashtray, then back at the joint Noctis was holding. “Didn’t I just kill one?”

“Dude, that was ages ago,” Prompto answered you as his right hand dove inside a bag of chips.

“No way,” you replied in disbelief. 

On your left, Noct refrained himself from chuckling, in turn making Iggy chuckle too. The two of them looked at each other and, unable to control themselves, burst into a mixture of heavy wheezing and loud ha-has.

Your eyes switched from studying Noct and Iggy’s face, bouncing back and forth as you watched them either slap their thigh or clap their hands. The Prince favored the thigh slap more, while the Royal Advisor preferred to clap his leathered hands.

“Ah, you’re so fucking cute when you’re stoned,” Noct blurted out, turning his head to face your blush-mantled cheeks. 

You rolled your eyes in a response but you could feel the heat on your face rising. Mockingly, you grabbed the not-so-new joint from his fingers and inhaled. “I swear,” you held your breath. “I just roached the other one.”

“If you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, now would we?” Prompto fired back as he pulled his hand out to take the joint. 

You paused, “But we were having a totally different conversation before this.”

“Indeed,” Iggy nodded. “Prompto and I best be going.”

“Huh?” you responded. “I just got here, Iggy! Come on, stay a while longer?”

“Just got here?” a voice from below you asked.

You looked down and found Noct’s head resting on your lap, his glassy blue eyes looking straight into yours. Once you began to feel the physicality of your body, you found your right hand unconsciously combing through his hair. When did he lie down?

“Yeah, didn’t we just...?” You pointed over at the overflowing ashtray on the table, spotting the countless filters resting on top of each other. The food was completely devoured, and you realized you actually felt pretty full.

“Holy shit, how stoned are you?” Prompto taunted. “It’s almost midnight and I’m fuckin’ sleepy.”

“Again, you guys don’t have to go,” Noct said. “Just sleep here!”

Iggy and Prompto looked at each other, rolling their eyes at that comment he just made. You stared as the two of them conversed with their eyes, obviously making sure you wouldn’t get the hint. 

“Nah, I’d rather sleep on my own bed,” Prompto declined.

“I share the same sentiments,” Iggy nodded, moving his hand up to adjust his glasses. “By the way, Noct, I’m in no mood to drive so I’ll be leaving the Regalia in your hands.”

“Ha,” Noctis scoffed. “I’m a great driver!”

“I meant to say, ‘don’t fuck it up.’” Ignis bit back. “Goodnight, you two.”

"Later!” Prompto called out.

This left you and Noctis’ head on your thighs all alone. You awkwardly continued to play with the softness of his hair, pretending like this was a normal occurrence in your friendship. He attempted to do the same, lightly grazing the thumb on his right hand over your left knee. 

Finally, he cleared his throat and broke the silence. “I don’t... I don’t think you’re in the condition to drive,” he stated.

“I-I–”

Was he seriously asking you to sleep there?

“I think I’ll be fine,” you nodded.

“Please, I insist!” he maintained. “If anything terrible happened to you...” 

Noct’s voice trailed off but he kept his eyes locked on yours.

You took a deep breath, “Alright. Alright, yeah, sure.”

Okay, he gets it, you’re staying the night. Calm down.

“Cool!” he squeaked, getting up and patting the dust from his cargo pants away. “I’ll... I’ll get the couch ready. You can take my bed,” he generously presented.

“Noct,” you titled your head. “Please, I’ll take the couch. I don’t wanna displace you in your home.”

He scratched the back of his head and aired out a laugh, “It’s no big deal, really!”

Your heart began to beat faster as the seconds passed. Finally, you plucked up the courage and proposed,

“I don’t mind sharing the bed.”

His sea blue eyes grew wide for a moment before he quickly bobbed his head up and down in extreme concurrence. You entered the bedroom behind him, and even though you’ve been in there countless times before, being along with Noctis was pushing your mind into overdrive, your heart into arrest, and your primal want into a need. 

As you settled into bed with him, all cleaned up and still quite blazed, you snuggled up to his side and patted his arm in an upward motion. He looked down at you and grinned, lifting his arm up and allowing you to place your head on his shoulder. Tilting your body sideways, you closed your eyes and rested your hand on his chest. 

It was a relief to know that his heart was beating just as fast as yours.

“Happy 420,” he said randomly, causing you both to giggle.

“Happy 420, Noct.”

He planted what seemed like a long, overdue kiss on your forehead. Maybe the next time you smoke together, the two of you will finally be vocal about how you feel for each other.

[ainatravelsto]

South Korea Trip 2k16; Day 2 (Seoul)

Hey!

Congrats, you made it to day 2! (LONG OVERDUE SORZ ITS THE 4TH WEEK OF MY SUMMER SEM IM DYING) (update: nah didnt finish it on my 4th week.... i finished this during my sem break... heh)

Instead of visiting historical places there’s one thing I’ve been wanting way before we arrived in Seoul..... Visit K-pop entertainment companies/buildings.

Yes. I’m actually a K-pop fan, probably one of the main reasons why we went there for a holiday djskhdjkhkdhsajkdkhsda. I told my parents that I at least need a day where I can visit as many companies as I can since one day is not enough tbh. My parents agreed that my bro can follow me to while hunting down these buildings while both my mom and dad went to visit other places around Seoul.

I initially wanted to wake up a lil early but as usual, we suck at waking up early so we were kind of behind schedule. We got ready asap and then had breakfast at the Italian restaurant in our hotel called 3 Birds. I would recommend this restaurant but I won’t because of their RUDE staff. They looked like they were forced to be there y’know? They also take away food tooooo quick right on the dot when the buffet is over.... When there are still people picking out food. I get that it’s over but it would be rude to take away all the food while someone’s still picking out their food? No?

Ok after we’re done with breakfast both of us separate. We bought our T-Money card to use for the subway stations a day before so we just went to one of the nearest stations and went to the first place on our list. Before we arrived at our first destination, we stopped by stations halfway to find advertisements of one of my favorite idols. I’m a huge fan of a group called BTS especially one of the vocalists, named Taehyung, stage name V (let’s just call him Taehyung plox). It was his birthday month so many of his fans (or just fansites) put up advertisements for his birthday at selected subway stations around Seoul. We found like 2 that day and wow I didn’t imagine myself seeing it with my own eyes instead of being behind the screen. I’ve always seen pics of Korean fans posting pics of them posing for the ads. It’s just surreal I’m there y’know,,,,, as a fan. As you can see in the photos, I was REALLY happy.

So after the mini photo shoot, we continued on to our first destination. The first destination is actually, Big Hit Entertainment, aka BTS’ company. I felt that I should visit the office at least once in my life since I’m a huge fan. I have realized that many fans are confused on where the hell is the building because it’s very low-key not like YG or SM so to those who need help, I can help y’all with this. However, it’s not very detailed and apparently, Big Hit already moved to a bigger office at Apgugeong??? If I’m not mistaken? But if you’re curious then:

The nearest metro station to the building was Line 3 Sinsa Station so that’s where we stopped.

1. You walk out of Exit 1 of Sinsa station and just walk straight and take a right after 5 blocks. There should be blocks of buildings on your right anyway with small roads going on a small hill.

2. Take the 2nd street on your left and on the 3rd block, you should be able to see Big Hit on your right. 

3. If you’re lost with all these instructions (LIKE I WAS PREVIOUSLY) Google Maps does wonders. I also used Waze but it is based on you using a car. So stick with Google Maps since you’re walking and search ‘Big Hit Entertainment’. Some of the locations they give MIGHT be false so prepare yourself for that.

*It might look lowkey scary going on your own so pls bring someone with you.

Tbh, we almost got lost a few times but eventually, we found our way. We walked a few places and later we found it. Shout out to Google Maps for saving our asses. I’m amazed how we didn’t need to ask anyone to find our way. Bles technology!

OH STORY TIME: I coincidentally bumped into BTS’ manager right in front of us when we were finding Big Hit. 

Yep, that’s right. He’s probably the reason why I could find Big Hit because he was heading that way dsjgdkhjsagydsgkdskks. When we were almost got to Big Hit there was a man with takeaway coffee on his hand. It was still the morning btw so I thought oh some random man going to work. But, I had a good look on his face and I freaked out. Once I saw his face my face just went blank because I recognize his face from somewhere and I straight away knew he was the manager. As an avid fan, I’ve seen HQs & press photos of BTS with their manager so I’m used to seeing his face time to time. So once I saw his face, I almost froze and stopped my bro. My bro was confused and later I explained to him quietly who he was. I kinda took a pic lmao:

So the smartest thing I’ve done after that is to go the other way, completely going to the opposite direction of Big Hit. I didn’t want to make him think of us as some international stalkers or sasaengs. Later when I thought it felt safe, we went to the direction where he went which leads to Big Hit. Surprise surprise, he was gone. He probably went in already so... 

ANYWAYS, as typical tourists we took photos.

What makes it more interesting, some Big Hit staff told us to go away when we didn’t even go in the building or anything.... We just taking photos.... But at the same time... I highkey feel like someone was inside... Possibly BTS? Whatever it is, wow.... I got shooed away by Big Hit staff LMAO.

Moving on, we went back to the train station and arrived at Samseong Station to visit SMTOWN! I feel that almost every kpop fan goes there when they visit Seoul lmao. Wow, I was shocked at how I was actually there and not from photos. Saw cool standees from Baekhyun (exo bias HI), Krystal, and lots more! I too took one of the photo booth photos!!!! leeet

One thing most stans go for is basically.... THE MERCH. I mean other than going for the live concert thingies (which I didn’t bother to go), official merchandise is the best next thing... So obviously if anyone wants to get their fave SM artists’ merch, going to SMTOWN itself is fine, more specifically, their albums. Their albums are reasonably priced so you don’t have to buy it outside in my opinion. Their official merchandise from posters, photobooks, phone cases, even the food are one of a kind. I feel if going to SMTOWN, and you’re an avid fan of EXO, Red Velvet or any other SM artist, just buy them. 

After looking around, we found a halal Indian restaurant called Luna Asia. Ngl, the food was alright. For Muslims, y’all could go for this!

We then took Samseong station again and arrived at Apgujeongrodeo station to go to The Mins! Some might not know, but this cafe is famous for treating some kpop idols, including BTS! (don��t @ me let me live i am an avid fan) So we took exit () and walked all the way down. The Mins was inside so you have to get into the neighborhood to find it. (Better descriptions are in the link I added @ The Mins)

The place was really cute from the outside and inside. OH, I forgot to mention, 2AM’s Changmin owns this cafe! Pretty legit. I also think I might’ve met his parents there too, because I heard that his parents do work there. I only noticed that once I got out of the cafe.... rip.

ANYWAYS, I ordered the Four Berry drink..... aka what BTS usually orders (yes shut up). It was really good anyway.

In the plus side, cool stuff on their walls! BTS posters, and signed albums from many other celebs like SISTAR, Gfriend and lots more! (you can also get to sit where BTS have sat before hehehehhehehe)

Later, we went to K-Star Road to visit all the big figures??? dolls??? idk what to call them. But yeah, we went and obviously had to find BTS’ one.

We were tired af and basically done all we wanted to do (except visiting JYP or YG Entertainment :(((() so we went back to our hotel.

After a few hours of rest in the hotel, we still had energy so we thought of not wasting time by going N Seoul Tower by using the Namsan Cable Car. It was a nice view from the hill but I feel it would be better during daylight?? Since it was winter I think it’ll look prettier during daylight. SORZ FOR NO PHOTO I WAS HALF DEAD THAT NIGHT KSKFKSHFJKSF

Anyways, we found this halal restaurant at this close knit neighborhood in Seoul called Yang Good (Yangguk) and boy...... they had GR8 meat. 11/10 recommended.

OKKKK IM SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG OVERDUE POST but yes here’s day 2. I’ll try my best to do the other days asap (at least before my new sem starts sigh) BYE GIRLIES ANF GUYLIES!!!!

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“Atsushi’s Favorite Gift”

Summary: Atsushi enjoys a relaxing picnic with Chuuya and Akutagawa to celebrate his birthday

Notes: Happy birthday atsushi!!!!!!! so this fic was kind of rushed (i didnt even realize may 5 was his birthday until like, noon of may 4 lmao) but its still very sweet and fluffy and no one dies! also this is based on my chuuakuatsu headcanons I posted about a while ago, but basically all you need to know is that atsushi is trans and he’s pregnant with chuuya’s baby and this is NOT some kind of mpreg/genderbend/fetish thing, and my comrades @akuchuus and @anemiaman have already promised to fight anyone who misconstrues it as such so yeah! I hope you all enjoy this!

*****************************************************************************************************

It was Chuuya’s idea to have a picnic.

Even as they were sitting outside on a blanket laid on the soft grass behind their house, new leaves and budding flowers swaying in the gentle breeze, Atsushi couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else up Chuuya’s sleeves. After all, this was the same Chuuya Nakahara who insisted on throwing elaborate parties for every occasion, celebrating holidays and the time Akutagawa “saved” his life by crushing a spider with equal enthusiasm. Atsushi had told Chuuya he didn’t want anything special for this birthday, but a part of him was still surprised Chuuya had listened.

Chuuya had gone inside to grab the cake; Akutagawa claimed the sun was too bright and was looking for an umbrella, leaving Atsushi alone in the garden. A squirrel darted by, casting curious glances at the blanket. Atsushi gathered some crumbs off the blanket and held them toward the squirrel with a soft, inviting meow, but the squirrel just chittered and scampered up a tree. Daffodils bobbed their bright yellow heads in the wind, and Atsushi smiled, reaching toward the brilliant petals with one hand as he remebered how much fun it had been planting this garden with Chuuya and Akutagawa almost two years ago.

A few months after Chuuya had been dating Atsushi and Akutagawa, he had got it into his mind to buy a “proper home” as he called it, away from the heat of the city and stench of the port, somewhere they could relax. Another reason, one Chuuya never said aloud but Atsushi understood implicitly, was that Akutagawa’s coughing fits had been getting worse and he was convinced fresh air would be easier on his fragile lungs. Rare as it was for everybody to be able to get their time off to coincide, the house really only saw use on the weekends, though Akutagawa did seem to cough less when they were there.

From the moment he saw the house, Chuuya had been determined to make it perfect from top to bottom, including the large, untamed backyard. For the first few weeks, Chuuya was constantly on the phone, asking Kouyou whether or not koi ponds were still in style, consulting Kajii about which brand of fertilizer was scientifically the best, and trying not to snicker as he ordered sacks full of seed, but after some time had passed, Chuuya calmed down and began planting flowers himself, asking Akutagawa and Atsushi for help.

Akutagawa hated plants. No one knew why. Still, Akutagawa had tried to overcome his hatred for all of five minutes before hissing at a leaf that brushed against his hand and storming off, muttering to himself about the evils of vegetation. Although Atsushi would have loved having Akutagawa around, he couldn’t help but be a little happy to have Chuuya all to himself for a while. Akutagawa and Chuuya had known eachother for years before Atsushi had come into their lives; Atsushi was never jealous of them, but he did feel left out sometimes, and it meant the world to him anytime Chuuya or Akutagawa spent time with him in particular.

Atsushi loved every minute he and Chuuya spent together in the garden, even when he get a splinter stuck in his hand from the handle of a shovel, or when Chuuya tripped over a rake and spent a solid thirty minutes shrieking obscenities at it, or the countless times they had to stop entirely because Chuuya was laughing hysterically at the prospect of using a hoe.

Atsushi tried to be the voice of reason. “Come on, Chuuya-san, why don’t you just pick that up-”

Chuuya failed to choke back a laugh. “Pick what up, baby? I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Atsushi blushed and pointed at the hoe. “That.”

Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “You want me to grab that hoe?” A grin spread across Chuuya’s face. “Y’know, I totally would, but, you see, the handle-” Chuuya’s words dissolved into laughter; he had to take a moment to compose himself. “-the handle’s all covered in dirt.” Chuuya’s eyes sparkled as he smirked at Atsushi. “Do you really want me to get my hands on that dirty hoe?”

Atsushi was taken out of the memory when he heard the door open.

Akutagawa glared at the sun as he sat beside Atsushi, unfolding his umbrella and holding it over their heads. Atsushi wrapped an arm around Akutagawa, leaning toward him so their cheeks were pressed together. “Is it dark enough for you now, Ryuu?”

“It’s never dark enough.”

Atsushi laughed, then moved so he and Akutagawa were facing eachother. “Why don’t you just sit inside? You can turn the lights off and hide under the blankets.” “Well. . .” Akutagawa coughed, staring at the ground for a moment before looking back at Atsushi’s smiling face. “You’re out here.”

“Ryuu!” Atsushi hugged Akutagawa, pulling away the instant he felt his stomach press against Akutagawa’s. “Oh, sorry,” he said, embarrased

Akutagawa blushed. “Don’t apologize.” His eyes gravitated toward Atsushi’s round stomach, already starting to push against the new shirt Chuuya had bought for him a few weeks ago. “It’s-” Akutagawa coughed, making his face even redder. “It’s strange to think about, you having a baby- or, two babies,” he added, correcting himself. “Twins.”

“Do you wanna see if you can feel them?” Atsushi asked. “I felt a kick earlier today.”

Akutagawa nodded, eyes widening, and placed one trembling hand on Atsushi’s stomach.

Atsushi put his hand on top of Akutagawa’s and smiled.

After a few seconds, Akutagawa pulled his hand away, disappointed. “I didn’t feel anything.”

“Well, obviously they don’t kick all the time.” Atsushi couldn’t help but laugh at Akutagawa’s sour face, but he reached out and caressed Akutagawa’s cheek. “Next time I feel something, I’ll make sure to let you know, okay?”

“I got something both of you can feel!” Chuuya proclaimed, striding through the door with the cake, his mischievous eyes gleaming brighter than the lit candles.

Akutagawa scowled. “Nakahara-san, if you say ‘deez nuts’, I swear I’ll-”

“Deez nuts!”

Akutagawa got up to leave, but Atsushi touched his wrist. “Please, don’t go,” he said. “I don’t want to eat the cake without you.”

“I-I guess I can stay, if that’s the case,” Akutagawa said, blushing again as he sat down.

Chuuya sat across from Atsushi and Akutagawa and placed the cake in front of Atsushi. “Alright, now let’s hurry up and sing before the wind blows out the candles.”

After an hour had passed and several pieces of cake had been eaten, the sun began to set, and the air grew colder. Atsushi shivered as a cool gust of wind danced through his hair.

“Are you cold?” Chuuya asked. “We can go back inside, if you want.”

Atsushi smiled. “I’m okay, Chuuya-san.” He gazed at the sunset, then up at the faint stars blossoming above and sighed, content. “It’s a beautiful evening.”

Akutagawa slipped out of the oversized sweater he was wearing over his shirt and handed it to Atsushi. “Put this on. You’ll get sick if you don’t stay warm.” Atsushi laughed. “Ryuu, I’m fine.” He ran his hands over the fluffy sweater; Chuuya had made it himself, and the odd little bits of yarn sticking out in places proved it. “Besides, you get sick more than I do.”

“Please, put it on.” Akutagawa’s gray eyes gleamed with anxiety. “I want you to be safe.” He looked down at Atsushi’s stomach. “And the babies.”

“Oh, okay.” Atsushi hugged Akutagawa, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before pulling away. “You worry too much,” he said, wriggling into Akutagawa’s sweater. Although the sweater hung off Akutagawa’s bony frame, it barely covered half of Atsushi’s stomach. He tugged at the bottom of the sweater, in a vain attempt to cover himself better, then gave up, sighing. “I hope I don’t stretch this out too much. . .”

Chuuya leaned over and rested his head on Atsushi’s stomach. “If you do, I’ll just knit him another one. Don’t worry about it.” Atsushi felt a flutter in his tummy, and apparently Chuuya felt it as well, if his joyful shriek was any indication. “Atsushi, the babies!”

Atsushi laughed and nodded, smiling wide enough to make his cheeks ache. “I know, I feel it, too, Chuuya-san.”

Akutagawa’s eyes widened. “The babies kicked?” He shoved Chuuya aside and pressed the side of his head against Atsushi’s stomach. After a few moments, he pulled away, scowling. “I still didn’t feel anything!”

“Yeah, I think they stopped now.” Atsushi held back a laugh. “Sorry, Ryuu.”

“What are you apologizing to Ryuu for?” Chuuya complained, crossing his arms. “I’m the one who got pushed onto the fuckin’ ground.”

Atsushi leaned forward and gave Chuuya a kiss. “Sorry, Chuuya-san.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Akutagawa huffed, clearly not over his disappointment. He coughed into his hand. “At least you got to feel the babies.”

Atsushi hugged Akutagawa. “Maybe you can’t feel the babies, but you can feel this, right?”

Akutagawa leaned into Atsushi’s embrace, closing his eyes. “Yes.”

Chuuya wrapped his arms around both of them. “And everyone can feel deez-”

“I fucking swear, Nakahara-san, if you-”

“Deez hugs!” Chuuya sounded insulted. “I was gonna say hugs.”

After sitting outside for a few more hours, Atsushi was starting to get a little sleepy. He yawned, and before he could so much as cover his mouth, Chuuya was holding him.

“You tired, baby?” Chuuya asked, his voice low and gentle in Atsushi’s ear.

Atsushi blushed. “You don’t have to carry me, Chuuya-san. I know I’m kind of heavy, and I-”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Chuuya gave Atsushi a kiss on the nose. “Nothing’s too heavy for me.”

“Okay, then.” Atsushi nestled closer to Chuuya and wrapped his arms around him. “But promise-” Atsushi yawned again. “-promise you’ll let me carry you around sometime, okay?”

Chuuya laughed. “Sure thing, babe. Once the babies arrive and we’re all worked to the bone, you can carry me around as much as you want.”

“I could help.” Akutagawa stood off to the side with his arms wrapped around himself, scowling at the ground. “If I’m needed.”

“Of course you’ll help, dumbass,” said Chuuya, matter-of-fact. “Don’t think you’re exempt from diaper duty just because the babies aren’t made with your sex fluid.”

“Chuuya-san!” Atsushi cried, blushing ear to ear. “There has to be another way to phrase that!”

“Bodily secretions? Baby gravy? Sexy-time goo-goo juice?”

Atsushi pretended to struggle against Chuuya’s grasp, giggling. “Put me down! I don’t know where your filthy hands have been!”

Akutagawa reached for Atsushi. “Yes, let me hold him. Your hands must be slippery from all those fluids, Nakahara-san.”

Chuuya stepped toward Akutagawa and allowed him to reach out so Atsushi was cradled in both of their arms. “An extra pair of hands never hurt,” Chuuya said with a wink. “C’mon, now, let’s get him off to bed. Not that I’m tired, of course,” he added, puffing his chest. “But you need your rest, sweetie,” he said, giving Atsushi a quick kiss. “It’s hard work carrying those babies around all day, isn’t it?”

Chuuya fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow; Atsushi and Akutagawa stayed awake for a while longer.

Atsushi was just starting to drift off when he felt the babies kicking. Without saying a word, he took Akutagawa’s hand and placed it on his round tummy.

Akutagawa gasped. “That’s- that’s them? The babies?”

Atsushi laughed, then yawned. “That’s them. They’re saying hello to you, Ryuu-chan.”

Tears sparkled in Akutagawa’s eyes. “Hello.” He rested his head on top of Atsushi’s tummy but kept his eyes trained on Atsushi’s face. “Do you think-” Akutagawa was quiet for a moment, then coughed. “Atsushi. . . will they love me?”

Atsushi stroked Akutagawa’s hair. “Of course,” he whispered. “They’ll love you every bit as much as Chuuya-san and I do.”

Akutagawa inhaled a deep, shuddering breath and fell silent. Minutes later, he fell asleep, his dull, raspy snores as sweet and familiar as a lullaby.

Atsushi glanced at Chuuya’s sleeping face, then Akutagawa’s, then down at his own round tummy and smiled. Chuuya and Akutagawa had given him many gifts- pancakes shaped like cat faces with syrupy smiles at breakfast, bouquets of flowers, tiger plushes, warm bowls of chazuke, and a lovely picnic to top it all off- but no gift could ever make Atsushi happier than his wonderful family.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #12: “if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.” - David

Man, things are not looking good at all for me and my alliance, LOL, sweet lord. Jones was blindsided at tribal, and now if I don't win out these immunity challenges, I'm definitely gonna go home.

Winning 2 in a row is a feat in itself, now I'm going for 3. With a time of 7:58, I feel pretty good about it. The key is to not get ahead of yourself and take your time. People go too damn fast in these endurance challenges and manage to mess up, I'm hoping that's the case again this time, LOL.

so...! POST TRIBAL JONES WENT HOME 4-3-1 HALLELUYAH LOLLL LIKE THE GODFATHER IS GONE!!! rhys legit gave me tobi and ryan a fucking heart attack bc if he selfed it would have been 3-3-1-1 and ryan was gonna use his idol on tobi.. i have to laugh lol but ya like uhm.

its rly weird to be in this position. where i feel insanely comfortable. i’m the only person left with 0 votes to my name, me and tobi are the only people to vote 100% in majority throughout this game. :))

and it’s even better bc.. tobi and ryan both think i’m their #1’s. and i can act the fool bc i’m the ONLY canute left vs 3 mercia 2.0 and 3 sweyn 2.0 hehe...

its super weird i dont usually have good positioning but i feel as if the only way i’ll ever leave is an idol play which i think me and ryan have the only ones :)

I BEAT THE CURSE OF EIGHT. But Jones got voted out. So it’s a win/lose situation. She was determined on helping me get past eighth and it’s upsetting. But I gotta keep moving forward and do my best. Block Party was very tedious and I don’t know what’s considered a “good score” for this challenge but I completed it in 7 minutes which I think is pretty good.

so im just gunna be a psychic and hope this comes into fruitation or whatever the word is...

OK SO THIS VOTE GET OUT DAVID.. easy 4-3 lol

next vote.. bait tobi mo and ahrre into voting ryan, tell ryan to idol, we pref get ahrre out if possible..

then i PREF WIN F5 IMMUNITY AND BAIT all of them into votign tobi and i idol tobi... but if i dont win immunity im gunna prob use it on myself and be a selfish cunt lol

Just kidding it took me 11 minutes I don’t think I’m winning this

So last tribal was interesting. In theory my plan didnt change anything, however it couldve stopped a tie vote. Jones was close to Ahrre and Mo (maybe David?!). So she couldve easily chose to vote Ryan and sway them on board. My plan stopped this happening as she had no idea they were voting for Tobi.

Now I feel like I am still in a power position. I am inbetween Tobi, Ryan, Scott and Mo, Ahrre and David. I have to assess my options. I did lie to Mo, and Ahrre. So they may want to make a move against me. Where as Tobi, Scott and Ryan are the more safe trio but also more dangerous in that I wouldnt be able to beat one of them in the end.

Someone has idols too. So ANYTHING could happen. I need them to get burnt out soon. I CANT have a possibility of 4 IDOLS at final 5. Dani, Felix and Jones were all blindsided, so there may be a chance some idols laid there. However the merge one is likely still here. It was gone before jones left, and might be gone still. Meaning the idol is with someone else or wasnt re hidden.

My main goal in this round is to keep votes off me, get an idol possibly used and stay low. I didnt make a massivly obvious move, so my visiablity may still be low. I dont need a huge threat level, it makes getting to the end 100x harder.

Tobi snapped in immunity and tg he did bc David is finally vulnerable again <3 honestly it should be an easy vote considering ik our 4 wants David out bc he's so strong, and I doubt anyone else has an idol since me and Scott have 2.... so wigggg smooth sailing? i ain't gonna settle into comfortability tho bc that's never good

Ok so now I need to think about my end game. The only two people I’m not comfortable sitting next to FTC are Ryan and David. Ryan has been swerving eliminations and has gotten rid of several big threats. David is a comp beast and is also responsible for some big moves. So now you might be thinking, Mo? What’re you going to do? Lemme tell ya Barb. So my plan AT the moment. Is 7. David 6. Ahrre or Rhys 5. Ahrre or Rhys 4. Ryan And then final three will be Scott, Tobi and myself.

Winning immunity at this stage feels sooooooo damn good like especially for this round, this is the first time david has been open on the table after his immunity... and i feel like this is the round where advantages from the other side will be played and im glad im not vulnerable to whatever shit they throw at us... so like from a gameplay standpoint, me and scott have one of the best games currently (i think) with scott edging me slightly since he hasnt got any votes yet, but we're working together really well and like i feel like i can talk game to him really well... so the plan is that we take out david this round, we round up mo (idk about ahrre) for next vote and blindside ryan, and then from there we take out ahrre, and then me and him are in f4 with two goats. He wants to go to f3 with me while taking one goat (or so he says he does) but im gonna start making moves on scott at f4, if i can take out scott at f4 that leaves me a huge opening to take the game all the way till the end... but maybe i'm thinking too far ahead

Lowkey tho like... I kinda want ahrre out over david at this point... i feel like ahrre has built some sort of barrier in our relationship for no reason. like i've shown huuuge interest in working with him in the past, but he's just gone against me and even voted me last tribal in SPITE of me??? like??? everything he's done has landed him in the minority LMFAOOOOOOO LIKE get your head out of your ass and realize that i actually want to work with you!!! and like to get ryan out at f6 we're gonna need numbers and im not sure how comfortable i am with depending on mo to flip with us, the problem with telling ahrre is that hes soooo unpredictable like, he might just go and tell ryan everything me and scott are doing and then bam there goes everything... i understand wanting david out now since he's an immunity threat but thinking about all  the blindsides I need to pull off like... I wanna keep david but I don't have numbers to keep him so I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one

So!! i lost challenge. again. lol xd

missus david and his ragtag bunch of misfits who dk how to Not piss everyone off are now deciding to vote me after unsuccessfully voting everyone else. (: BC THATS GUNNA WORK OUT FOR THEM.

like bitch.. work w/ the majority. they arent even TRYING. its lowkey kinda sad but its their own faults they put themselves in this position...

the tea is even tho i have my idol im only playing it @ f6/f5 OR if david idols. like. tobi/ryan def wont vote me and rhys will just follow ryan i think NNNN

wisj me luck x

Fuck. I have a really tough decision to make. I’d like to say I’m the swing vote but I don’t actually know 100%. I can choose to vote with David, Rhys and Ahrre or Ryan, Scott and Tobi. My main concern with this vote as a whole is jury management because I don’t want someone to leave unhappy with me but that’s really tough to do. I said previously my two concerns are David and Ryan when it comes to who I don’t wanna be sitting next to at FTC. A final four with David is scary because he’s a comp beast. A final four with Ryan is scary because he is super close with Scott and Tobi. This is a headache.

Well so last vote was funky dunky. So rhys sticked with the majority because he considered Jones to be a bigger threat than Tobi due to her connections.... Then the vote comes around and literally everyone lied to Jones about the vote LMAO.

So me mo and david followed thru with the tobi vote but it was to no avail, mainly because rhys not only flipped but he let him know I was gunning for him. Meanwhile the rest convicted Jones to vote me, probably by telling her some lie about how I was after her. While they all voted for her.

So there goes Jones and my no votes streak with her RIP. So after all of that I decided it was time for me to try and win imunity and while I was close Tobi just edged me the fecker.

So now we have an immune tobi and depend on rhys to flip for real this time. I hope he realizes that if he doesn't then everything is fucked but now it doesn't even depend on him. Since it's between Ryan and Scott and it's f7 the chances of an idol being played are high.

David is worried it might be him they're going after but idk anything could happen.

hmm so I've been busy today and haven't been talking with everyone. but i believe the tiffany alliance is still on the same page of voting David. i heard from Scott that the other 3 are voting him and they think Rhys is voting with them so that's interesting. i'm defintiely feeling safe, and i feel like Scott isn't going anywhere either so yayy final 6 here we go. I also talked with Scott about taking out Tobi sometime before final 3 because he's definitely a big jury threat, and he can definitely win immunities so if we get a chance to take him out we might hop on that. A final 3 of me/Scott/Rhys sounds pretty ideal and i think me or Scott would take home the win whew

david got another thing coming if he thinks he can idol me out... thats tea lol :)

So I lost the challenge yesterday...and yet I'm hearing that I'm not getting any votes tonight o.O which I don't believe for one second, cuz if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.

As I'm hearing...me, Mo, Ahrre and Rhys are gonna be voting for Scott, and Ryan, Scott and Tobi are voting Ahrre...because they think that I have the idol, LMFAOOO. WHICH IS TOO FUNNY OMG. I WISH I HAD THAT FUCKING IDOL, LOL.

Okay, so one side thinks Scott is going, One side thinks David is going. Meanwhile im in the middle lieing to half the tribe trying to stop an idol getting played to save my closest ally. Yeet.

Ok so according to rhys they're gonna be voting me since they're worried about david having an idol. But maybe that's just rhys playing the long con. Either way there's a sizeable chance I could be going home this week but hey third time's the charm amarite maybe this blindside will work once in for fucking all. Anyhow let's see how this thing goes.

David is voted out 4-3.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 10

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k // 4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i know Louis said it was his least favorite song on his album but it was too perfect so i had to use it. also, if you get the movie reference, youre amazing lmao! thanks for all the love, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter and that you’re not getting tired of this

requests! : added a few and ill post them but i didnt add ALL the things written in the asks just because it didn’t fit, i hope its okay! if you read there will be very tiny spoilers :)

Chapter 10 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I quickly left after he turned away from me to walk to his car. Not because I wanted to leave but because his words had brought inside me a few sensations I felt guilty to feel. Hope, definitely. Happiness, probably. And also an intense relief that I couldn't explain. I felt relieved that he thought we were worth it. I felt relieved knowing that our friendship still surpassed any other relationship in his life, including his girlfriend. I felt happy that he was not going to give up and hopeful that we could go back to being close. That too, I felt guilty to feel. Would that hurt Dylan? He was already so understanding and sweet with me, he didn't deserve his fiance to lie to him, or even omit to tell him things.

I parked in front of my house and noticed Louis' car was there but I remained sitting behind the wheel a bit longer. Louis was there and I could talk to him. This is exactly what I needed yet, I couldn't find the courage to walk inside and sit with him. Perhaps I was not ready to let out all of this out loud because I knew it would make it even more real than it already was. Telling someone else was going to hit hard, I knew it.

I breathed in before pushing on the door but Louis was nowhere in sight. I frowned but took my shoes off and decided to walk to his room. The music was on, the door was closed, and I felt my heart skip a beat, hoping he was not with his girlfriend. I licked my lips before biting the bottom one and knocked at the door three times.

"Louis?"

The music stopped and it took only a few seconds for the door to open. His lips curled into a smirk and he leaned against the door frame, raising his eyebrows at me in a suggestive manner.

"Heyy, where did my queen spend the night?"

"Louis, I need to talk to you." I admitted, walking past him and inviting myself inside, ignoring his question.

"That bad, huh?" he chuckled a bit, closing the door behind us and turning around to look at me as I sat on his bed. "Did you let him fuck you into oblivion? Meaning that you totally forgot that you were both taken and that he had shattered your heart into millions of tiny pieces?"

I groaned and grimaced, letting myself fall on the bed, lying down on my back as my legs were still hanging from the bed. I grabbed his pillow and pressed it on my face before letting out a muffled scream. It took only a few seconds until he grabbed the pillow roughly and pushed it away on the bed.

"Did you really sleep with him?" he asked in a soft tone, looking down at me before I shook my head. "Did you two kiss?" Once again, I shook my head. "Then what's wrong?"

I let my eyes roam on Louis' face and licked my lips. I didn't want to say it, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat, but keeping them inside was starting to hurt physically. I just didn't know if it would hurt more after they came out...

"Say it, you know you can trust me." Louis expressed in a low and gentle tone, making me lick my lips again.

He didn't understand that the problem was not him hearing it, it was me admitting it. He kept looking at me, his eyes roaming on my face slowly, and I focused on the way he blinked, the way he smelled, the way he made me feel..

"I love him." I breathed so low I wasn't even sure I had heard myself. "I'm in love with Niall."

My best friend didn't show an ounce of surprise. Instead, he sent me a small smile and nodded, still looking down at me. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep the tears inside, but I felt them fill my eyes and did everything I could not to blink. I could pretend that seeing Niall made all my feelings come back to the surface but the only thing seeing Niall again made me do was realize that I never stopped loving him.

"And you love Dylan, too?" he asked, making me nod. "Okay, if you spend your life with Dylan, will you miss Niall?"

I held my breath, feeling my whole body throb at his question. He knew that answer, didn't he? Because he would always miss Eleanor if he was with someone else, that was a given. In fact, that was not even worth asking.

"Alright." he added, as if he read the answer in my mind. "If you spend your life with Niall, would you miss Dylan?"

I felt my eyes get bigger and I knew Louis was trying to read my answer on my face. He ended up just sighing low and tilting his head a bit.

"It's not about love, you know." I just replied, trying to avoid a question I ignored the answer of. "It takes more than love. A lot more. " I paused. "It was so much easier when it was only you and I."

This time, his lips curled into a smirk and he raised his eyebrows at me, moving his face slightly closer.

"You forget fast, my queen." he pointed out, booping my nose gently and making my lips curl slightly. "We were both miserable, shagging each other to get affection and orgasms but never really reaching the happiness we were longing for. We struggled so much, we've come so far."

"I know." I admitted, hearing my voice crack despite how low it was. "But we had each other."

"We still do." he replied, smiling fondly at me for a few seconds as I tried to contain my tears. "Wait a second, I want to show you something."

He quickly got off the bed and I sat up, looking at him. He searched through his stuff and I frowned when he grabbed a disk and finally, my lips curl.

"A CD? What is this? 2005?"

Louis chuckled, his back still facing me. "Oh shut up! I just wanted to be sure it wouldn't be leaked before it was supposed to. I don't trust cellphones. Or people, really."

This time, I laughed and shook my head. I knew what he meant, I also had a hard time to trust people. I used to be the type who would trust everyone and get hurt all the time. I guess the bad and manipulative persons I had met in my life had changed me.

Louis came back and sat next to me as a song started. The melody came to my ears but was quickly followed by his voice, bringing a sensation of comfort inside me. I knew Louis had worked a lot on his album and the fact that he was ready to share a song with me meant a lot more than he probably thought.

"You say to me your jeans don't fit You don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you On Friday night when we're all out I turn to you and you're looking down And you don't wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don't hide away, don't ever change Keep your head up love, keep your head up Don't look away, don't look away"

I turned to him and sent him a smile, reaching for his hand and grabbing it in mine. I didn't know why but that song did something to me. I loved the way it seemed like he was talking to the person listening with a soft voice but it's only when I heard the chorus that I held my breath.

"'Cause everybody's looking at you now My, oh, my I guess some queens don't need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still somehow You're perfect now"

He probably noticed my eyes getting bigger and knew I was asking myself questions because he simply nodded and squeezed my fingers tighter. I felt myself tear up and swallowed hard.

"You never do but if you asked me to I'd tell the truth lying next to you 'Cause you're the only one When it's said and done You make me feel like being someone good to you Even at your worst You steal the scene and it's unrehearsed Don't you wanna dance, just a little dance? I'll never stop given half the chance"

My lips finally parted and he sent me a fond smile, bringing his other hand on mine just as the bridge started.

"Every insecurity Like a neon sign As bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away"

Despite trying hard, I couldn't help it and started crying. I didn't even reach my face to wipe the tears off, I just sobbed low as I stared at him and gently, he brought one of his hands to my cheeks and brushed his thumb on them as I sniffed.

"'Cause everybody's looking at you now My, oh, my I guess some queens don't need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still somehow You're perfect now"

We remained silent for a few minutes as I let the information sink in. Louis had told me his whole album would be based on his feelings for his girlfriend, and he had started writing it before he got back with her, that I knew, but I never thought he'd take the time to write one for me. I never thought I inspired him enough to get a whole song written about me. I didn't really believe I was interesting enough but the truth was, this song was beautiful, and it was mine.

"Thank you." I whispered, knowing my voice would break if I talked louder.

I swallowed my tears again but it started hurting and I felt my eyes flutter, letting more tears fall.

"At first, I wanted to bring you with me when I recorded it, but I decided it would be better if you were the first one to hear the final product." He stared at me a few seconds before moving his head slightly. "Come on."

I slipped my arms around his chest and leaned my head on him as he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and we remained in each other's arms for a few minutes before he gently fondled my back.

"I don't think you realize how big of an impact you had on my life, Liv." he continued. "You were there for me in a moment where I thought I had no one. You stuck by me, and you.. I never properly thanked you for calling El on that night."

I pulled away and looked in his eyes, sending a small but sad smile.

"You were there for me too, and I'll never forget that, Lou." I pointed out, looking down at my hands as I played with his fingers. "I mean, I had expected you to drop me and I wouldn't have blamed you. Niall's like a brother to you and you two have been through so much.. that comes first. I feel extremely lucky."

"There was no reason for me to choose between you and him. I took care of you because you were the one who needed me, and because you're my best friend."

"I was pathetic." I chuckled, shaking my head.

"You were hurt. We both were. And despite that, we helped each other. You realize that doesn't happen often, right? Normally, two persons going through the same thing can understand each other, but can't help each other. But you and I? We did both. We're invincible!"

This time, I laughed and licked my lips, nodding a bit. He was right, we went through so much together and somehow, we had helped each other out of misery in our own way. I had found my desire to live back with him... because of him, and the relationship I had with him was unique.

I thought about Niall and about how our relationship used to be unique, too. Perhaps, it still was and always would be, but I missed how it used to be. I missed how it used to be so easy between us and how nothing was awkward. I missed our talks, the fun we used to have, the inside jokes that made us laugh so hard that we couldn't breathe. And I missed him as a person, him as a best friend, him as a boyfriend. I knew I shouldn't live in the past but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about going back to how happy we used to be together.

"Did you tell El about that song?" I asked cautiously, suddenly scared it would cast a chill between me and her.

"Mmhm, yea, she said it was okay." Louis tried to reassure me before chuckling. "Most of the album is about her so, she doesn't care."

I didn't want to say it out loud but I was actually jealous of his relationship with Eleanor. They were meant for each other and the way they loved each other was something I used to have but didn't anymore. I used to believe Niall and I shared the same kind of bond and love that Louis shared with his girlfriend but that time was over, and I couldn't help but think it was unfair.

"Okay, enough with this cheesy shit." he just said, hitting his own thighs slightly. "We're spending the evening together, okay? Pizza and poker. Like we used to do except this time, we can bet more money because you joined the rich asses club!"

I rolled my eyes and we both got up before I followed him to the kitchen.

"My ass is still as poor as it used to be, haven't seen my first check yet." I argued, raising my nose up.

"No problem, you can bet your supply of cookies!"

"Ah Ha! No way!"

He laughed more as he called the pizza while I grabbed a few beers in the fridge and got the cards. We sat exactly how we always did and he opened my beer, handing it to me before opening his and taking a sip from it. It was almost like a well rehearsed choreography and I smiled as he shuffled the cards. Quickly, he dealt them and I looked at those I got in my hands before he started talking again, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it up.

"So." he mumbled, taking his cigarette out of his mouth and breathing out the smoke on the side to make sure it didn't go near me. "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell Niall that you love him?"

I chuckled and raised my eyebrows, discarding two cards and glancing up at him.

"No." I let out firmly. "I'm getting married."

Louis stopped moving and after a while I looked up at him. He was staring at me and I could read a bunch of questions in his eyes. I grabbed a cookie from the box and put it in the middle of the table, trying to ignore the way he was looking at me but after a while, I just couldn't anymore.

"Okay Louis, say what you want to say." I let out with a sigh. "You normally don't keep it in so, throw it my way."

"When you say you're getting married, you mean you're getting married to Niall in a few years, that's what you mean, right? Because darling, marrying a man if you've got an other man in your heart, that's just fookin' unfair."

"I love Dylan." I argued, leaning against my chair.

"You love Dylan but you're in love with Niall." he replied a bit louder. "He's the one who's got your heart. He's got a hold on it that no one else ever did and probably ever will. You know it, I know it, and you know what? Dylan will realize it at some point. So you either try to find a way to get completely over Niall, or-"

"Or what? Or I give up the only chance I have to be happy with someone?" I cut him, my tone getting a bit harsh. "It's not my fault I fell in love with Niall, it's not my fault he broke my heart, and it's not my fault he came back! Why am I always the one who's got to give up everything when all i'm trying to do is survive and move on!"

I was on the verge of tears again and I shut my eyes tight, trying not to literally burst in front of my best friend. I loved Niall, I really did, but he was dating someone else. Yes, we had almost kissed a few times and yes, he told me that our friendship was worth saving, but that didn't mean he still had feelings for me. It didn't mean he wanted to be with me again. It didn't mean he wouldn't break my heart again.

"I'm sorry." Louis finally said after a few seconds of silence. "I know you're not ready to trust him and I shouldn't insist."

"Louis, I can't be with someone who doesn't want me." I pointed out after calming down, putting an other cookie on the table as he did the same. "Just because he wanted to kiss me doesn't mean this is love. Lust, maybe. But love is a strong word. He regrets hurting me and he apologized. That was more than what I expected."

"Of course he still loves you."

I looked up at Louis and felt my shoulders fall as I sighed.

"I don't trust Niall's feelings, not after what he did. He probably can't even trust his own feelings, you know?"

"He grew up, he probably learned too, like we did."

We heard the doorbell and I felt suddenly saved. Louis jumped up and sent me a bit smile before rushing to the door., I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply. Perhaps Louis was right and Niall still had feelings for me, but I wasn't sure what they were, or what his intentions were. I knew we should have a conversation but I was not mentally prepared for it. I didn't feel strong enough to go through it. I didn't want to hear how he really felt because no matter what it would be, it would either hurt me or force me into making a choice. I was not ready for neither.

                                                      ---

I rushed to the movie theater knowing I was a few minutes late and when I looked up, I noticed Niall waiting for me in the middle of the place, his hands in his pockets. His lips curled when our eyes met and I stopped in front of him, out of breath, my hands on my knees. He laughed and bent down to look at me and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he looked amazing, even from that angle. Who does that? No one.

"Out of breath?" he laughed. "Maybe you should get into shape? How about coming out for a run with me a few times a week?"

"I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased." I just pointed out, moving up and making him smile even more.

"Okay, an other movie quote." he laughed as I tilted my head.

"Casey and I've got a lot in common."

"Just say you like Elijah Wood."

"Who doesn't?" I rhetorically asked with a frown, a small smile playing on my lips.

We decided on a movie and I felt him grab my fingers as we walked in the hall. I held my breath but he quickly pulled on my hand and made me twirl around. It brought a bunch of memories to my mind and I let out a laughter and squeezed his fingers before letting go of his hand.

We found a spot in the back and I felt suddenly nervous, playing with the fabric of my pants. I knew friends went to the movies together but I didn't want to make all of this awkward. The movie started almost immediately and we didn't really have time to talk but I felt at ease around him, the way I used to. It's only around the middle of the movie that I felt his hand on my knee. He started drawing shapes on my jeans and my lips parted. My heart skipped a beat and I glanced down at his fingers. I didn't know how I should react which resulted in me not doing anything. After a while, I couldn't focus on the movie anymore and closed my eyes, concentrating on how I could still feel his touch even after his fingers were away. The shapes were random... a circle.. an infinite sign (or was it the number 8?).. simple lines... but I never wanted him to stop. I felt my inner thighs start throbbing but weirdly, it didn't feel sexual at all.

I jumped slightly when they turned on the lights again and expected him to take his hand back but it lingered a few more seconds on my knee before he got up and extended it to me. I grabbed it without thinking but let go of his fingers as we walked out only to push them in the back pockets of my jeans.

"Enjoyed the movie?"

I turned my head to look at him and nodded slowly.

"Oh, uhm yea, I did." I sort of lied. "Did you?"

"Was alright."

We walked out and stood in front of each other as everyone else walked by and I couldn't help but glance around. I felt nervous and it was even worse when he took a step closer to me as someone passed really close of him. He looked down at me and I pressed my lips together but we kept silent for a while. To anyone who would take the time to study us, we most likely seemed on a first date but it was so much more complicated than that. And so much deeper, too.

"D'you.. maybe.. want to come home? Food and beer, perhaps?" I proposed with a shrug. "Louis and El are probably there, we could do something with them?"

His lips curled and he nodded. "Yea, yea, that's great, i'll meet you there."

I watched him and held my breath at how beautiful he was. Now that I had confessed out loud that I was still in love with him, it was really all I could think about. It hurt so much and at the same time, it was a relief to admit it to myself.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it off only to see a text message from Dylan. My heart skipped a beat like I was doing something wrong and I licked my lips nervously.

'Hey babe, I miss you, I hope we can talk soon.'

I started nibbling on my bottom lip as I typed an answer quickly. I missed him too and I had the feeling that if he was here, it would be easier not to fall even more in love with Niall. Or at least, I could always be reminded of what I could lose.

"Boyfriend?"

Niall's voice took me by surprise and I looked up, sending him a smile.

"Yea, it's the first time we're separated for so long so, we're not really used to it." I expressed with a shrug. "Plus, his days are intensive so when his day is over, he's exhausted and he needs to go to bed because it all starts again on the next day."

"That's why I brought you on tour with me last time." he pointed out. "I hated being away from you."

My lips parted for a few seconds as I kept looking at him and finally, my lips just curled. I hated being away from him too. I could easily remember all the times we were separated and it was horrible, even if we were only friends at that time. I wanted to mention to him that we had been separated for more than a year and also ask him how he felt about it, but I didn't dare.

"I couldn't go with him." I let out, regretting it immediately after. "I was... I'm busy."

He nodded, looking down, and I had the feeling I had hurt him but I was not sure how. I felt something stir in my stomach and cleared my throat.

"Okay well, i'll meet you at my place, you remember where it is?"

His eyes met mine and he smiled again before nodding.

"Mmhm, i'll see you there."

He brought his hand to my arm and I held my breath. His fingers were warm, making it obvious that my arm was cold. His skin against mine, despite my expectations, made me shiver and once again, my lips parted as my heart jumped in my chest. Something in his facial expression changed, too, and deep down, I wished it was the contact of his fingertips on my skin that shocked him, too.

I can't remember the walk to my car, and barely the ride home, but when I parked my car, Niall was already there, waiting for me next to his car, watching something on his phone. I got out and walked to him, a bit sad that his gaze didn't meet mine.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

It took a few more seconds for him to look up but when he did, I knew he had seen something that would bother me. He sighed and turned his phone my way to let me read the title of an online article someone had probably sent him. I noticed the picture first : Niall and I holding hands at the movie theater and the irony made me grimace. Didn't we get papped like that when he was dating Maya and I was with Harry? My eyes finally moved to the title and once again, I held my breath.

'Our favorite couple is back!'

That's when I knew we were both in deep shit. Again.