#i didnt know it was this bad when i saw people talking abt the fat politics in the game @ larian can you guys please improve as people. ty

[nicastamatis]

heh... you idiots said there were no fat people in baldurs gate... well CHECK MATE athiests 😎

[toxicpositvity]

D.

i met D some months ago, in july to be exact. he's friends w my roomate (im gonna call him like that). thanks of him we met

D was a grown man (30y), and he showed sum interest on me. ive always knew those "feelings" were: sex interest. but never let anything happen, i aint dat idiot

i wouldnt say he used to do bad things. he was a lender, only lent money. he maintained his reputation and his clients very well, was on his own business. but bc of that kind of job, he got into some problems w real bad people.

debts. he had tones of debts and all them highly expensive for my thirdworld mentality. so the solution he found to this shit was, in short terms, fakin his death

well not really

he was foreign, like me. he pretended dat he came back to his country w/o telling anyone, literally just disappeared from the life of every single person he knows here overnight.

everyone, except of roomate. they were really close

D stayed in our apartment for no more than two weeks. remember the night he arrived he just covered every single inch of window rooms has w paper nd curtains, mf thought he was ana frank

besides my roomate i dont have friends here, so i spend most of my free time at home... homing

me and D spend all that week he stayed here together. literally i used to came back from work and he was just appearin from nowhere like "i made dinner for both, u must be tired" w a plate full of his home country food, or leaving all the house cleaned like he really wanted to be an oppressed woman iM joKIN

he didnt have phone. he was so paranoid dat he literally threw it at the fuckin wall after all that shit he lived that night he moved w us. he had a Tv and really friki-cool stuff like old collectible motorcycle toys, a projector, weird watches. we both used to have dinner on his room while watching the worst channel existed, just talkin. once we fell asleep together

it was sunday nd i was at work when roomate texted. still remembering the tears on D's reddish eyes when i came back home that day and he told me lookin at my face that he (now) literally need leave the country

D ate the burger that roommate bought for him in completely silence, w his mouth full of fries and the ocean dropping down his cheeks. sited between me and him

i saw the fear and the sadness on his eyes the last time we spoke. felt his body shakin under my arms as he whispered to my ear "i got out of this before, i can do it twice. please take care of yourself, i promise i'll contact you again some day."

he gave me his three tiny plants that night, and told me i can't let them die.

next mornin i woke up and went straight to his room. there was his bed, his stuff, his smell; but of course, not him. the sky was black in that moment bc of the clouds, around 10am or sum, and it rained all day.

a part of me —while watching the flowerpots in front of the window, hearing the fat drops of rain hittin the glass— i thought the sky was crying

crying for me, crying 'cause of him. i don't really know. i hadn't the urge to cry, just remember ive felted really emotional that day

D told me he will came back to his home country, but roommate spilled some lies D told. and he didn't

last thing i knew about him was thanks to roommate. D called asking for a bit of money, told him he was on colombia (like 14hours away), on his way to panamá

that was around a month ago. roommate hasn't talked with him again, neither i.

i cant say i miss him. but i still keeping his plants, and (w/o gettin despaired neither dedicatin my whole life abt it) i will wait for a text

pic of the next day he left

[blackvail22]

i talk here a bunch each day because i have no one else to talk to.

its sad, honestly.

i couldnt go to my counseling appointment, so i wont be able to see her again for another 2 weeks

thats nearly a month since ive seen her

im not doing very well so this isnt good at all lmao

idk how im going to make it another 2 weeks but all i can do is try ...

i think i start work again next week. im afraid of what has changed... probably not a lot. all i know is we have a new manager, and ive heard he's nice

i have a postop appt on tuesday for my tonsillectomy. finally i will have what my disease means explained to meeee. i keep thinking about it, and its been bothering me. i probably wont know if i have another surgery until after my next ct scan (they have to space them out so i dont get exposed to too much radiation and i had one less than a month ago) and idk when that is

im so bored. i have to be the problem

i really think i am

"my friends wont reach out" but when i reach out its super dry and they varely engage. maybe im seeing it in the wrong perspective. maybe my vision is skewed, and im seeing it in the wrong light.

maybe its because theyre busy

maybe at work

going to work

hanging out with other friends

going to hang out with other friends

i want to have a good friend group so bad but i feel like i cant have one

i feel like my only friend was em even though she used me. oh, i dont know if i ever told u the reason why we arent friends anymore

so, i dont have the best memory of the order everything happened, but ill do my best to sort it out

after spending a bunch of time together, we started to fade away. i would ask her if she wanted to spend the night, she would hesitate for a good 30 minutes, talk to her mom, and then say "sure". sometimes she wouldnt wait until we ate dinner (but a good amount of times she did) until shed say "oh i forgot something at home" or "my stomach hurts" and id walk to her house with her (except the times when she'd tell me not to).

when i walked with her, she would always say "ill be right back" and then shed be gone for 10 minutes and her mom would come out and be like "hey... she doesnt feel well so she's going to say home". and each time i would walk home crying. at this point, she was already blowing me off, not talking to me, and overall being rude, but i still went back to her every time.

this rare occasion was in early september of 2017. we only hung out, and then she said she had someone else shes hanging w at her house. she had become friends with people that hated my sister as well as a girl that honestly no one knows. em started to become them... like literally she became a copy of them. the whole group of girls would tell her that my sister is a fat, ugly whore. they fed her all of this, and they would talk and call my sister names and generally talk shit about her

a few days after i heard abt this, i saw things from em that she was having a hard time. i was outside doing yard work, and she was walking by. i said "hey, i hope you feel better" and she yelled "fuck you" at me while, again, giving me the finger.

i dont know what i did, but that was the last time in years that we would talk to each other. we would be "friends" on the bus the few days she went to school sophomore year...

now, though? i dont exist to her. i saw her at my work TWICE this past year, once being on my recent birthday, and she pretended she didnt know me. i look the same as i did before... this most recent time, she was with her boyfriend, one of the friends from '17 and her mom. as i greeted them, everyone looked over except her... her mom even did a double take.

she claims she doesnt know why our friendship went to shit when we were toxic to each other our whole friendship. it was never healthy.

she seems to be happy though, at least happier than me. shes pregnant again. im not sure of the gender, but i think its going to be a boy. she's always wanted to be a mom, so i hope shes a good one.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents�� choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

OH NO I JUST HAD A THOUGHT. nana fought afo. What if. What if he turned her into a nomu? Nomus cant die of old age, right? It could be possible fuck,,, FUCK.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OHHHhH FUCK

ohhh FUCK i do like this idea though that is EXACTLY what afo would do,,,ohhhOHHHH ohhh hh,,,oh fuck,,and it’s plausible bc no one saw afo finish her off,,,for all we know she didnt actually “die”

hey so yknow how people are like “toshinori’s gonna die!!” what if. wh. what if this. is. how w

bro im hurting my own FUCKIGN feelings but this is SUCH a good concept in the worst way possible yknow like SHIT

if this is canon i think she’d just be his first experiment (and thus subsequently a failure nd she dies a horrible death)(literally gonna kill afo) but the POSSIBILITIES if he was successful,,,ohhhhh oh that hurts

ok hear me out

say like during a battle, perhaps when afo is breaking out of prison (bc thats always my goto next ~big battle~), mido and the gang meet the nana nomu. and like, bc of the connection midoriya has w the previous users, he kinda gets like a zing when she shows up and starts fighting. he can tell theres smth Different abt her and cause midoriya is midoriya, he tries reaching out to her and probably almost dies

he doesnt give up tho he just knows he needs to help her. he tells toshinori abt it and how weird it felt to have a connection w a nomu of all things nd so he and toshinori theorize why exactly midoriya feels the connection. toshi calls up gran torino bc torino knows abt ofa and the experiences it brings as well. however no dice there bc ofc midoriya just keeps breaking boundaries w ofa, so he, gran torino, nd toshinori r all confused on why mido feels a connection. mido just knows he has to Help

so probably during his next internship, after a patrol nd mido is heading home, midoriya finds her. im thinkin once the connection between him and nomu nana formed, she broke through the haze enough to know she did Not want to be near afo but she doesnt know how to function on her own w no one telling her what to do, so mido just kinda finds her huddled up in some alleyway and dying of starvation/dehydration one night

after freaking out and then giving her some of his water nd probably a granola bar mido had in his utility belt, he starts to talk to her. nomu nana cant understand at first but eventually, mido breaks thro to her a lil bit bc the connection they inherently share w ofa, and she just starts weeping bc this is a fate worse than death and im just. i am in fucking agony dude

mido has to leave then, but he promises he’ll be back, so nomu nana just doesnt move. so they meet up like that a few times while mido tries to figure out where to go from here 

hes definitely gonna have to call aizawa nd toshinori to see where they can put her bc mido isnt gonna let her stay in this alleyway forever. btw that conversation is Very Long bc like toshinori knew mido was concerned abt the nomu but he didnt know he FOUND HER and aizawa didnt know any of this shit at ALL and so when mido is just like “hey can i bring a nomu home??” out of the fucking BLUE he knocks back six advils w a shot of tequila before turning to face his problem child

eventually smth is worked out tho. theyll meet mido and her at the front of ua w tsukauchi and some other pros (including gran torino HO) in case she acts out, nd then they’ll go from there

anyway so mido goes to bring her to ua one night after his patrol’s done, nd she starts trying to speak. nd mido is excited bc this is a first!! its progress whadda ya know. so he’s encouraging her and trying to guess what shes saying but eventually quiets down when he realizes how frustrated nomu nana is and how hard it is for her to try and speak

eventually tho she’s able to form a word, coincidentally right when they arrive at ua

“na...na”

toshinori and gran torino immediately bristle and so does nana bc she hasnt seen them since the last time she was herself which was like,,,probably over 30 years ago now

nd midoriya is just like “nana? who’s nana?” and well. toshi, torino, nd nana all have a rough night that night bc like torino tsukauchi and aizawa know that nomus can be made out of ppl obv, and im sure torino told toshinori smth abt that, so they know almost immediately what happened and who this is and oh, of course, it makes sense why mido had a connection w her now, and oh god

toshinori hasta head out for a bit (by that i mean he gets choked up nd cant look at nana) and gran torino just kinda slumps like a puppet w it strings cut. tsukauchi is trying to comfort both of them while keeping an eye on nomu nana bc he doesnt know if she’ll lash out over seeing these ppl from her past

meanwhile nana is like panicking internally bc oh shit memories and even more Bad Feelings abt afo but isnt she supposed to serve him now??  but she doesnt Want To and oh man. so she’s having her own issues and just starts mumbling her name over and over and mido is like “who is NANA hello??”

and just. toshinori eventually gets himself together enough to like lightly put a hand on mido’s shoulder and to gently take a step forward, and asks, “nana? shimura nana?”

nd nana nomu just nods her head bc she doesnt know hardly anything anymore, but she knows she has feelings, and that feels right, and she opens her mouth to say “nana” again but what comes out is 

“all...might”

cause she cant remember his name, only what afo called him, but she remembers his face -- just with more baby fat and eyes less sunken -- and she knows that she knows toshinori

and toshinori cries a bit (who can fucking blame him thats essentially his MOM) while mido is quietly questioning what tf is going on and if toshinori’s okay, but nana relaxes bc she knows that whatever happens now, she’ll be okay

after all, all might is here

god this hurt so fucking much but its SUCH a good idea ohhh echo what have u done

[nikvs-blog]

pov rp: i try to wink at u but i close both eyes like jinsoul in this gif <3 SBJDWBDJWBDJ hello im xan im 22 & from the est timezone i use she / her pronouns & ur watching disney channel. is this super late ? yea...but thats super on brand for me its fine its fun its sexy so * jugkook vc* let’s get it !

— jung jinsoul. she/her. cis female. | was that niko seo i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a waitress, but i’ve always just seen them scribbling poetry on napkins. they live in 3A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of making wishes on falling stars, silk ribbons adorning messy ponytails, and breakfast at midnight.

BACKSTORY

so miss niko was born in a teeny tiny suburban town in north carolina to a pair of  young high school sweethearts ! unfortunately her mom passed away during childbirth so it was a very bittersweet arrival into the world for baby niko

her dad was a mechanic who never made it to college since his girlfriend got pregnant towards the end of their senior year. they got married before niko was born though because they were pretty serious abt raising her right but they never really got the chance to /: but her dad loved his job he loved working with cars & it was something his own dad did before him plus it was a job the town really valued since it was so tiny ( u really only needed one of everything )

when i say tiny i mean everyone knows everyone tiny. growing up the town kinda pitied niko bc of her mom dying so to compensate everyone kinda tried to do their part in raising her ! her neighbors were just as much of a parent to her as her own dad was, and everyone had stories abt her mom so niko kinda appreciated how small the town was.....sometimes

that changed as she got older ! when she started high school her dad kinda entered a rough patch & started drinking more with his buddies, started working less, and niko started getting calls from the sheriff at 2 am like “hey we’re gonna keep ur dad for the night he didnt do anything crazy but he got a little too drunk u can pick him up tomorrow” sort of thing 

she was there for him every time but it got kinda overwhelming knowing everyone was in her family's business & how much kids would gossip at school or adults would give her sad looks

basically she kinda just....became very disillusioned with her reality & began to realize no one around her was really.....happy or had big dreams and their entire lives revolved around this tiny town which scared her

but also ? it had started becoming her life, too. she was voted prom queen senior year, she had a job at a diner where the same people ate everyday, she’d been dating the same boy for four years and everyone talked about how they’d probably get married soon. she’d become exactly like everyone else without even realizing it....she didnt have some big dream.....she didnt even have plans for college she was just so stuck

and then disaster hit the summer after she graduated high school. her dad had crashed right into a tree on a rainy night trying to drive home after a night out drinking & died on impact. the news honestly didnt feel real to her until her grandparents were helping her clear out her house so she could come move in with them 

which is when she finds her mom’s old diary ! and boy was that thing . fat & juicy ... it had all four years worth of her mom’s high school years inside and niko became ...obsessed with it. all she did that summer her dad died was read her mom’s old diary learning more abt the woman from those pages than she ever had from the mouths of everyone in her town

 thats how she found out her mom had always dreamed of moving to some city like seattle and starting this new life once she found out she was pregnant with niko ! so niko was like ok this has to be a sign....told her grandparents she loved them but she couldnt stay in north carolina.....and boop ! she pretty much disappeared from the town, didnt tie up any lose ends ( including her bf of four years who she was kinda engaged to ? JSDBJBDJ ) because she just had to leave that bad. 

cue a scene on bus with niko looking out the window as some dramatic song abt new beginnings plays . JSDBJSBDJW seattle was truly her new start at 18 ... and all she wanted to do was just ... reinvent herself 

so she did ! first thing she did was get a job as a waitress bc uh ur girl was BROKE broke but she knew she was good at serving. the first year was.....pretty rough there’s no sugar coating it niko was struggling bad, probably living in some questionable apartment when she wasnt coach hopping at her coworker’s places. despite all this she was....insanely happy she really believed ( and still does ) seattle is magic !

she was working at a diner ironically, just like she had been back home, but this diner changed her life about a two years ago. one day one of her regulars ( a very well off lawyer who worked downtown ) told her she was way too pretty and charming to be serving at a place like this & that he had a buddy who owned an upscale restaurant near his job downtown & that he could probably get niko a job there if she wanted

so she was like UH hell yes....showed up the next day at this fancy restaurant, charmed the pants off the owner, and the rest ? is history !  she moved into hideaways a bit after getting this new job & has been there ever since <3

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS

personality wise niko is kinda ....hard to figure out. she doesnt do it on purpose, she’s just still learning about who she is and what she really wants. back home in north carolina she was kind of the small town golden girl, loved by everyone type of deal but also very romanticized by those around her ??? ppl thought she was brilliant and knew so much about everything when the truth was she just knew a little about a lot. she would read to escape the suburban boredom of her reality & took a special interest in things like art and poetry and astronomy. shes the type to want to share the stuff she’s learned with those around her

in seattle since no one knew her the way they did back home, niko decided she wanted to keep it that way. because of this and because shes so hesitant to talk about her family sometimes she can come across as mysterious but she’s a surprisingly open person !! she’s naturally super curious and friendly and she’s found it really helps to be the kind of person people want to get to know and trust when working in the service industry. she’s got the type of aura about her that makes you feel as if maybe you’ve known her forever, even if she’s only told you one thing about herself ( which is often the case) . can probably make anyone feel at home within five minutes of talking to her & you won’t even realize how she’s doing it. her boss swears she’s charming enough to sell honey to a bee ! 

she’s also got a flighty side though that comes out when you get too close. niko’s great at relationships when they aren’t deep, but the moment you start and figure her out and see past the smiley walls she’s got up she recoils fast. in a way she’s terrified of anyone knowing too much about her because she’s scared that once they do they’ll pity her, and niko can’t stand being pitied. she’s also super good at dishing out affection but not so good at receiving it. the type to fall in love then right back out of love in one day. kinda a heart breaker bc of this but she doesn't mean to be, she just gets infatuated kinda easily & isn’t very good at keeping things serious ever since literally running away from her long-time ex in north carolina JSBCSJBDJW 

some fun facts: she wants to get a cat and name it cat so bad but she’s not sure she’d be a good pet mom so she just settles for petting stray cats in public. 100% that weirdo crouching in the street making kissy noises because she saw a cat and wants to pet it. she can name just about every constellation & loves to sit outside and look at the stars on clear nights, usually while smoking a joint . she’s a hardcore lightweight .... im talking one tequila shot and she’s floored ... two glasses of wine and she’s taking her top off  then crying kinda deal like she CANNOT handle her liquor so she tries to keep partying to a minimum. she’s got a collection of napkins from work were people have scribbled their phone numbers onto as well as a collection of napkins niko herself has scribbled on. she mostly writes poems and sometimes she even leaves a napkin with a poem on it behind at a table like a little gift for whoever sits there next. she’s probably always writing poems for all her friends or infatuations so if you’re in her life....you’ve gotten one at some point ! 

the only thing she brought with her from north carolina were all her records. she’s got a pretty extensive collection that ranges from donna summer to louis armstrong to led zeppelin & when she finally got a record player of her own in seattle it was probably the best day of her life <3 she really likes to watch scary movies but also they scare her so bad so it’s a cycle of oh yes lets watch this.....fuck why did i do that.....im sleeping with the lights on rinse & repeat. she really likes to cook ! she learned at a pretty early age out of necessity but now she does it for her own pleasure also because of her growing interest / knowledge in the restaurant industry. her wardrobe is 95% thrifted and 5% stolen from miscellaneous people ( her dad, old boyfriends, hookups, friends, etc. ) is a notorious hoodie thief so dont lend her yours......

and this is WAY too long im.....so sorry this literally always happens aha <3 yes i ramble but thats bc . i have a lot to say and i also have a lot of love to give ! spare some plots ? we can im on tumblr but i am 100% easier to reach on discord  @ EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172 so hit me up there & lets get this show on the road baby ! 

[spelviin]

endgame thoughts, not because i think i have anything valuable to say abt it, more just bc i want to get my initial unsullied opinions out before various overly nitpicky or overly praisy internet thinkpieces come around

okay so. first of all, i’m tired to death of the way folks talk about the mcu. like, it’s either a godly feat of everything and the most important thing ever or the literal devil incarnate and the source of all evil in this world. i am literally so fucking bored of both these perspectives and have zero time for either of them. 

yes, the mcu is emblematic of a lot of problems in the current state of the film medium as a whole. yes, it is also a really cool feat of storytelling that a whole bunch of movies spanning a whole bunch of years could all come together and culminate in a big huge blowout finale. yes, it could have been far better, but yes, it also could have been far worse. 

i wasn’t a fan of thor being a punchline in this film. like, the whole “lol thor fat” thing was like, really tired and not cool. and the fact that his genuine moments of expressing grief and the significant trauma he’s been through were played off for laughs more often than not bc “lol thor supposed to be big many man but he’s crying like a wimpyboy instread.” like, fucking please. it’s 2019 and other male characters were allowed to be shown crying and processing their trauma but thor’s??? not allowed for some reason??? anyway they did him dirty in this movie and i’m not super pleased abt that. 

i didn’t like that they fridged natasha. i’m not a fan of scarjo so much these days, but i did like natasha. 2012 me adored her and was 100000% behind her as the Only Woman (despite being miffed that she was the Only Woman) and i really liked her character and redemption arc through the films that she appeared in. and like, i get the justification for fridging her. like i get that she was this assassin who killed a bunch of folks and in the end, not only wiped out the red in her ledger, but saved the whole damn universe in doing so. i get that. i’m just annoyed that they literally went and fridged the Only Woman to give the boys manpain before the third act. 

speaking of the ladies.... the One Scene Where Women Get To Do Things. my god. the critical feminist part of my mind greatly resented the obvious lip service of that scene, and the fact that the ladies only got the one shining moment before we got back to the sausage fest. but lord, the lesbian part of my mind hella enjoyed it. like i was legit bouncing in my seat like YESSSS FUCK EM UP LADIES i was just completely stoked. 

and my god. MY GOD CAN WE TALK ABOUT CAROL’S HAIRCUT AKA A GIFT TO THE LESBIANS. THIS MOVIE HAS MANY SINS BUT WE CAN ALL THANK IT FOR THAT HAIRCUT. (and again, feminist me is like, hey, dont focus on her appearance, focus on the important shit she did in singlehandedly turning the battle around for everyone, but lesbian lizard brain is hhhhhhhhhhhhh girl hot)

anyways. 2012 me was a month out of a major jaw surgery when i saw the first avengers, puffy faced, on heavy painkillers, and unable to eat any solid foods, and just generally weak and miserable. i dragged myself to the theatre and i smiled the whole way through that movie bc even though i was feeling super shitty, that 360 shot of the team made me so excited and happy. so happy that i watched and rewatched a bootleg download over what was probably the worst summer of my life, and it made me happy and gave me hope, dumb as that may sound. 

i havent watched the first avengers movie in a long time, and i’m not sure if i’d feel the same way seeing it now. remembering how it felt then still makes me happy, but seeing that same 360 shot repeated in endgame didnt stoke much emotion. tumblr fandom took a lot of my avengers joy away. the drama and character hate and constant complaining and cringe culture bullshit exhausted me. and the recent turns of the mcu also contributed to that. a lot of things contributed to it, i guess. but i dont feel as happy as i once did. so a lot of this movie rang a little bit hollow, needless to say. 

that being said, though, i did feel a little flicker of that joy. for all the movie’s and the franchise’s faults, of which there are many, i can say that the moment where all those portals opened up and the revived characters stepped though, i felt that happiness again. i legit almost cried when i saw shuri’s silhouette step out of that circle. that moment when the score came in with that booming version of the avengers theme, i was 2012 me again, just for a moment, and i think that’s worth something. to me, that’s worth something. so for all its sins, i thank the movie for that. 

this is rly rambly and im tired so im just gonna say 2 more things. things i’m not personally super invested in, but other people are, and so i feel i need to have an opinion on em.

first is bucky. i fucking adore him, and i am kinda miffed that he got like, no interactions with steve. i know steve/peggy is the canon ship, i knew it was always endgame (heh) and that stucky is just a fandom thing. but god damn it, even if they were never gonna have their relationship go there (which tbh i literally never even came close to expecting to happen) it still feels a little bit unfair to have steve basically ignore probably the most important person in his life. like, i know he wanted to live his happy straight life with peggy, and passing on the shield and identity of captain america to sam is super important, and i loved that moment and would never begrudge him that bc i adore sam. i was just... really sad that bucky had to get kinda shafted for that. (literally all i was saying in the last half hour was “but where’s bucky? but what about bucky?” our boy deserved better. 

second is tony. tony tony tony. i know folks have a lot of strong feelings about him, both ways. i know of folks who think he’s the scum of the earth for some dumb reason, and i personally know others who think the entire mcu should revolve around him, for equally dumb reasons. i’m more neutral. i think he’s a good character who made questionable decisions in the past. i feel for him and his struggles with PTSD. i respect him as a character in-universe and also for what he and RDJ accomplished. like, if he hadn’t hit it out of the park with that first movie like a fucking decade ago, none of this would have been possible, and i think that’s pretty damn cool, regardless of feelings on the monster juggernaut the mcu has turned into. basically, i know some folks are maliciously rejoicing at his death while complaining that he got a hero’s send-off when he is a Bad And Not Morally Pure Man, which is. boring. and other people (namely one who i know personally in my family) who are mad because he is an Angel and deserved the Best Happy Ending Because No Bad Things Are Allowed To Happen To This Perfect Boy. i’m not here for either opinion. i’m okay that he died (peter crying over him did get to me in a huge way, but i think tom holland just has a power that if he’s crying, i’m crying so idk). i think it’s cool that he got to save everyone and got a heroic and well deserved send off. this isnt a revolutionary opinion i just wanted to throw it out there bc im bored with the polarization. 

and... yeah? i think that’s it? sorry, im really tired and this probs doesn’t make sense but i just felt like i had to get the initial reactions and feelings down before the thinkpieces get to me lmao. 

oh, also nebula deserved better 2kforever i just love her a lot and want her to be happy and not suffer, kthxbye 

[groundramon]

I’m bored and I cant focus on my drawing so...

Since I’ve been ratting on Teen Titans all week even tho I insist I like the show (I SWEAR TO GOD I DO...I was off-put at first but? its okay, its hard for shows to immediately hook me), I think it’s only fair to list some of my major problems with some of my all-time favorite shows and some other shows that are currently on that aren’t really my favorite, but I still think are objectively decent and arguably pretty damn good.

I’m not gonna go in order from best to worst but here we go: (keep reading tag because this is going to get really fucking long and ik i dont usually do this with my rants but i feel like i should this time, idk im inconsistent this is a personal blog sorry)

Steven Universe: - I sometimes feel bad critiquing SU because it’s not too far into its run.  I love the show, some of the moments and even full episodes are legitimately mesmerizing, but it...has quite a few problems, yeah.

- The one I bitch the most about is the pacing.  Steven Universe tries to combine serialized storytelling, which is telling an overarching story over the course of several episodes (IE Avatar: The Last Airbender, most anime, ect), and episodic storytelling, which is telling several smaller stories that each fit in one episode with little to nothing connecting them besides the characters (IE SpongeBob, We Bare Bears, most cartoons honestly).  But emphasis on “tries”; Steven Universe, unfortunately, is not very good at blending these two styles.  Steven Universe ridgedly adheres to the idea of having a season that is half filler/”townie” episodes and half “cool alien”/plot-related stuff - and this is something that’s been confirmed, by the way.  So while this was fine in the first season (where the only true overarching plot-related episodes that weren’t just worldbuilding were at the end of the season) and the second season (where the plot episodes can be summed up all-together as “they catch and befriend Peridot and learn, not stop, the Cluster”), it isn’t in the later seasons.  Season 3 has the following plot points: the Cluster is defeated, Malachite is found and defeated and defused, Lapis joins the Crystal Gems, more homeworld gems (rubies) find earth, Jasper is corrupted and bubbled, its revealed that Rose Quartz shattered (killed) someone, and Steven gets lost in space because of a plan gone wrong with the Rubies (and he’s rescued in the last episode).  That is a paragraph worth of plot points.  And, being generous (IE including plot-forwarding episodes that feel more like filler than actual plot, like the baseball episode) that is 13 twelve-minute episodes worth of content.  All of those plot points are addressed in 2.6 hours time.  That is not long enough to visit all those episodes.  And there are a few more I didnt count that /are/ related to the aliens, but Bismuth and Centipeetle currently irrelevant and weren’t related to the plot points I listed so I didnt mention them.

- I’m also still waiting somewhat impatiently for resolution on certain character arcs.  Pearl’s behavior hasn’t been properly addressed for a while and I’m really hoping they dont wimp out of addressing what a piece of shit she can be sometimes.  Like, I love Pearl, but get the fuck outta hear with your Pearl stanning shit.  She’s unintentionally awful and I lvoe her for it.  I’m more patient about Bismuth but.......crewniverse, im starting to get a little impatient with her too.  Bring her back.  You should’ve brought her back in the next episode, because her friends shouldn’t have left her bubbled, but whatever.  It’s fine.  I’m fine.  (I’m not fine).

- Also, Lapis’s character arc.  Wasn’t properly addressed.  One episode she was saying she deserved to be with Jasper and the next she seems fine.  One episode she hates Peridot and two episodes (well several episodes, but two episodes as far as they appear) later they’re buddy-buddy with one another.  I get that there was probably a time gap where they developed closer with one another, but fuck, I would’ve liked to see that instead of Future Boy Zoltron but okay :) (and i dont even hate future boy zoltron, its just one of the few “meh” episodes I bothered to remember the name of)

- SPEAKING OF UNPROPERLY ADDRESSED CHARACTER ARCS I swear to god Crewniverse, if Amethyst was being sincere when she said she didn’t have self esteem issues anymore, I dont think I can call this one of my favorite shows anymore.  Where.  Where did she find the resolve to get over her self esteem issues.  The last time we saw her talk about them was when she broke down in Sardonyx’s room, but, she was speaking through Smoky Quartz (btw, where the fuck has Smoky been? I literally forgot about her because its been so long...).  But still, even if she WAS speaking through a fusion, before then she displayed the same self-destructive mindsets and she was never given the resolve to better herself.  All she did was wallow in her own pity with Steven (which? relatable, but not constructive).  Show us her getting the resolve to better herself.  Show her positively reinforcing herself.  Have her whisper “you can do this, Amy,” under her breath right before she kick’s a bad guy’s ass.  Have her high-five herself, have her cheer for herself, have her be sincerely proud and acknowledging her accomplishments.  Because that’s how you fix self esteem issues and kids should be taught that by someone other than a therapist or the internet.

- Just because a lot of these issues could be fixed with time doesn’t change where they are at this moment.  The past pacing issues might not ruin the show for me depending on the direction they go in, but I feel like they’re going to continuously make the same mistakes over and over - and with the intense direction this show is going now, the idea of having five filler/townie episodes in a row while Lars is in space is terrifying because of how awful that pacing is.  I do not care about Onion, please go back to Lars.  But even if they fix it and the rest of the series is near-spotless, what’s done is done, you cant fix the rushed pacing of the past seasons’ stories and the dumb filler that padded out the seasons in the wrong areas.

- Also, another problem with combining episodic and serialized storytelling is that SU’s story gets WAY too serialized for an episodic show.  There’s so much going on that you can’t just sit down and watch a random episode of the show and start watching the show from there, which is a huge problem when you have episodes like Onion Gang and Future Boy Zoltron that take up 30% of the episodes and offer literally nothing to the story and honestly arent usually even that great as far as episodic stories go.  You cannot have 30% of your serialized show be 100% filler.  That’s bad writing.  And SU is in denial of the fact that it’s too serialized to be episodic.

Gravity Falls: - I generally cite Gravity Falls as one of the best combiners of the traditional episodic and serialized styles.  It’s what Steven Universe dreams of being; it becomes serialized when it counts (the final half of the last season), but up until then, it’s episodic with just a few clues/reoccuring things sprinkled throughout.  However, this show is far, far from flawless.

- Some of the episodic shows, and I mean a lot of the episodic shows, have a tendency to feel rather generic.  Ah yes, a girl whose obsessed with boys and boybands.  Okay.  Seen that.  A nerdy, whimpy boy who has a crush on a cooler older girl.  Again, seen that.  I’m not saying that’s all there is to Mable and Dipper; clearly not.  But a lot of their traits encompass many different stereotypes, and while the characters themselves aren’t bad, the situations they find themselves in aren’t always the most original.  Sometimes I feel like Gravity Falls is a PG-rated Scooby Doo meets Disney Sitcom.  Which is okay if you like Scooby Doo and Disney Sitcoms, but it doesn’t always make for the most eloquent storytelling.  Which is fine for a kids show, but less fine for one of the cartoons heralded as a harbinger of the current cartoon renaissance (then again, I’m not into hardly any of the other harbingers of the “current cartoon renaissance” and I’d argue that we aren’t in a renaissance at all; we’re just finally, finally getting some decent cartoons after the awfulness that was the late 2000s)

- I’m gonna say it; we should’ve learned more about Ford’s adventures in the other dimension.  It’s possible some of the non-animation related materials (namely books) have information about his travels, but as it stands, I havent got a clue what happened to him during those years.  And I want to know.  I should know.  Its a glaring plot hole in all honesty, because we should know what happened to him and how it affected him.  Or maybe im overreacting idk.

Voltron: Legendary Defender: - Hoo boy, where do I even start with VLD

- VLD seems like a show that wants to be character-driven but somehow refuses to.  It wants you to be emotionally attached to the characters, but either it does that and does nothing with it, or it doesn’t even bother to do that.  The only characters whose struggles I care about are Pidge, Shiro, Allura, and only as of season 3, Keith.  Allura I was kinda on the fence about until season 3 but thankfully, if season 3 did one thing right, it was Keith and Allura (and yes I know people are complaining abt Allura’s treatment but I like watching my faves suffer).  That leaves two paladins - and Coran, but I’ll give him a pass because literally the only show that’s done a comedy relief right is ATLA so I’m not expecting him to be superbly well-developed - that I dont give a shit about.

- Lets start with Hunk.  GOD I want to love Hunk so much.  So FUCKING much.  But every time a new season comes out, I feel more and more disappointed.  This show is so obsessed with melding him down to “the fat kid who eats a lot and makes a lot of dumb jokes” and it’s....so disappointing, because there’s so much potential here for something more.  In the first episode of the series, we see Hunk display cowardice (which isn’t an uncommon trait for a fat stereotype) and a prowess for engineering.  Yes he’s a bit of a fat stereotype, but you know what?  I dont care if a fat character is cowardly, makes bad puns, likes to eat, throws up a lot, all that jazz.  I care that they’re more than that.  I hate the idea that a character having a stereotypical trait (assuming its not straight-up a caricature) makes them automatically stereotypical.  Sorry buddy but smart asian people exist.  Preppy blondes exist.  And food-loving fat people exist (hi! i know that last one is true because I am one).  But they’re so obsessed with ignoring Hunk’s other traits - his love of cooking and his engineering skills.  I dont even remember if he used his engineering skills in season 2 and I know he only used it once in season 3.  He didnt even cook in season 3.  And I think the most telling thing in this show is how the show described Hunk’s relationship with Shiro.  As Keith was expressing grief over loosing essentially his big brother figure, Lance thought back to when he viewed Shiro as a legend and a hero, Pidge reminisced about how her father and brother used to praise the guy, and Hunk?  Hunk basically said “uhhhhhh he taught me to pilot my lion.....that counts right.”  Because Hunk has no relationship with Shiro.  Because Hunk has no relationship with any character.  He doesn’t even have that much of a relationship with Lance, and the two seemed to be best friends - or at least friends - prior to the formation of team Voltron.  At best, Hunk is friends with Lance and Pidge.  But all Hunk has done with Keith is make bad jokes while Keith acted all loner-y, and Hunk hasn’t even interacted with Allura and Shiro.

- Now, speaking of Lance, lets talk about him.  While Hunk gets points from me because he’s a sweetheart who deserves better, Lance is a flirter whose too high on his own horse and makes even worse jokes than Hunk does.  Considering Lance is the one we follow in the first episode, I would’ve expected him to be the most centric member of the team.  But first off, fuck me for projecting anime stereotypes/tropes onto a western cartoon (even though voltron was originally an anime kinda but shhh), but secondly he actually is...the most forgettable of all the Paladins.  Yeah I said it.  I legitimately dont like Lance at this point.  Yeah, I said that too.  I basically cant remember anything about him besides the fact that he flirts and jokes around a lot and that Klance is inescapable (like, not that its inevitable that you’ll ship it, but you’ll never escape the fandom for it).  He’s Sokka with all the charm, intelligence, and depth taken out of him, and also bi but that’s the only improvement.  Seriously, what...draws you all to Lance?  I dont want to judge, but he’s just....so stereotypical.  So boring to me, despite being the most lively paladin.  And the development cockteasing.  Oh, the development cockteasing.  I cant tell you how many times I’ve gotten my hopes up specifically because of something the show said about Lance/Lance seeming to be insecure about something, only for them to immediately shoot it down and replace it with more bad jokes or...nothing at all.  Because did Lance even do anything in season 3?  He pilots Red now, he had a funny bit with Blue during the “breakup”, he comforted Keith, Keith comforted him, uhhhh ??? did he even have a line in episode 7??  I feel like there might’ve been episodes where he literally had no speaking parts.  The only good things I can say about Lance so far are: 1. sometimes hes really fucking funny, and 2. it looks like they COULD be building up to something.  But if they’re just cockteasing me all the way through, I’m disowning dreamworks entirely.

- The tone of the show? also shouldn’t vary as much as it does.  The tone of a show varying is fine, but it shouldn’t vary in the way it does in Voltron prior season 3 (I’ll get to what I mean by that in a second).  In season 1 and season 2, the heavy moments of the show were almost entirely carried by Shiro; there was something for Pidge and something for Keith, but even then, Shiro got involved or was there for the entire time.  Shiro, by merely existing, brings the tone of this show down to something almost too serious for a kid’s show (emphasis on almost).  During the light-hearted parts, he just has to keep his mouth shut, because the only time he’s done anything funny (besides ironically funny like with his new outfit and haircut) was when he was yelling at Sven.  Yelling should not be your only source of humor.  But the rest of the show?  Was pretty goofy, yeah it took itself seriously sometimes but it also knew how to have fun.  Which is fine, a show should be able to have fun sometimes.  But that means all parts of the show, including Shiro.  Shiro is physically incapable of having fun and that’s kind of sad.  Season 3 was better about this though; nothing in season 3 felt fun and goofy, like at all, besides Lance taking selfies with girls in the first episode, and that was just one scene.  So I mean, they didn’t fix their problem, but the tone didn’t vary as much.  And I’m not saying the tone shouldn’t vary.  No, it should; you shouldn’t have all serious moments or all goofy moments.  Have some fun, but also take yourself seriously sometimes.  The problem is that parts of the show can’t take themselves seriously (Lance, Hunk) and other parts of the show can’t take a joke (Shiro, Zarkon/any villain too but they get a pass since they’re villains).

- Also we REALLY should know all of the Paladins’ backstories by now, ESPECIALLY Keith’s.  I know his is a mystery, but we need to know what he knows or else we cant get invested in the mystery.  If we dont have the same facts as the characters, we dont know where to start or what to expect.  We should’ve also seen flashbacks to Lance and Hunk’s families - ESPECIALLY Lance’s, since he seemed to care so much about them, but welp now that’s gone :).  We should’ve also seen more flashbacks to Pidge’s family but at least she’s trying to find them.  Nobody else gives a shit about their families and I just.  Aaaaaaaaaa this show infuriates me sometimes.

Avatar: The Last Airbender: - There’s nothing wrong with ATLA, move the fuck along

- I’M JOKING IM JOKING SWEATS okay but it’s no surprise I like ATLA and think its near flawless.  But still, it’s near-flawless, not flawless.

- If you cant stand a little kiddish cheese, you wont be able to stand ATLA.  ATLA takes itself super seriously for something on Nickelodeon, especially something on Nickelodeon in the mid-to-late 2000s (god I wish I watched this show as a kid, my standards would’ve been so much higher and i would’ve known what animation could actually do if you tried) but it’s still written for kids.  Which is fine!  I actually prefer things written for children over things written for adults.  But if you can’t handle something with content that’s clearly written for children, ATLA isn’t for you.

- Ozai fucking sucks.  There’s no other way to put it, his character fucking sucks.  He’s meant to be the embodiment of pure evil, he’s not meant to be sympathetic like Zuko, but for fuck’s sake, we needed his backstory.  And no, The Search doesn’t count; love that comic book, but that’s not enough backstory on Ozai (unless I’ve forgotten an important scene in the comic, idk its been a while).  Azula isn’t a sympathetic villain but we see her reasons and backstory.  Give us something like that for Ozai.  Show us a character that was emotionally neglected and then grew up in a society where killing and genocide were encouraged and praised.  THATS the backstory for Ozai I want.  I want to know where he came from to fuel my hatred for him, to see him as a real person but not as someone who should’ve done what he did, and I want to hate him BECAUSE he feels like a character.  Right now he just feels like the embodiment of evil and that doesn’t make for a good, truly intimidating villain.  A truly intimidating villain is one that you understand and can possibly relate to.  Not...whatever the hell Ozai is.

- Katara and Aang’s romance plot fucking sucks.  I am ace/aro and cannot write romance for shit nor tell when characters have chemistry, but I can still tell this.  It’s not...forced?  It’s not...rushed?  But it’s unnecessary and poorly written and it’s just puppy love and honestly if it was real live I couldnt see their relationship lasting.  Also the idea of seeing someone as a brother and then dating them later is verrrry .... poorly worded to say the least bUT ANYWAYS NEXT BULLET POINT

- Toph and Suki could’ve been developed more.  Like, they were okayly developed, they were great characters, but idk.  Toph didn’t grip me nearly as much as Sokka, Aang, and Katara and I feel kind of bad about it, but thinking about how much development the others got compared to her, it’s not really surprising.  I also am not the hugest fan of rude characters anymore, but I digress.  Also Suki.  Suki had like, little to no development.  I want Suki to be part of Team Avatar.  Can we do that

- General Zhao also fucking sucks.  He’s so generic that the first few times I watched the show, I forgot he was even a significant reoccuring villain.

- Sokka could’ve also been more developed but they could’ve all been more developed honestly?  You can always add to perfection.  I shouldnt complain about Sokka tho, he was finely developed and I love my nonbending son

The Legend of Korra: - Uhhhh the first season’s ending?  0/10 bad, rushed, not good.  I wanted to see Korra deal with the loss of her other elements.  I wanted to see her cope with that.  But no, because Nickelodeon kept screwing over LOK, they had to rush it because otherwise it wouldn’t have been a happy ending for the series if they potentially had to end it after one season.  Fuck Nickelodeon :) but I’m still going to critique LOK for it even if it is Nickelodeon’s fault.

- Bolin and Mako were horribly underdeveloped.  Especially Bolin.  It’s so sad how underdeveloped “Team Avatar” was in this series compared to the last series.  I feel bad complaining about Toph, Suki, and ESPECIALLY Sokka in comparison to LOK.  The only one even comparably as bad is Suki, but she got half a season to be developed and these two got an entire series.  We got some of their backstory and then...that was it, besides the love triangle that Bolin was barely part of.  I guess they were kinda irrelevant for season 2 and season 4, but they had no reason to be missing in the later half of season 4, plus they had season 1 and season 3, so....  God, poor Bolin.  It would’ve been nice to see a nice (fat) comic relief guy like him get the same treatment as Sokka, but whatever....its fine.......ill just sit here patiently waiting for my good representation coughs.  Also all Mako did was do the love triangle and I Do Not Like Him for it.  Keith is a better Mako than Mako ever was because Keith dont need no love triangle and also he already has more development

- Asami also should’ve been more developed, but it looks like there’s potential for more development in the comics so thats good.  From the series alone though, she was pretty flat; better than Bolin and Mako for sure, better than Suki from the original series, but not nearly as good as Toph or the others.  At least she did have some development and a likeable personality that’s relatively original.

- I hate saying this but...Korrasami should’ve been more developed.  I wouldn’t like, take points off of a rating for this point because I mean it was the first lesbian/gay representation in a kids cartoon (from my understanding) and Nick might not’ve even known they were sneaking in something romantic at the end, not to mention they completely subverted the love triangle plot so it actually gains back favor in that way and its great.  Also, I mean, they had that buy-curious joke lmao.  And I’m pretty sure its expanded upon more in the comic; there wasn’t really room to expand upon it in the show because it was just starting.  But they probably could’ve done better than that.  It was still okay though and also, the subverting of the love triangle trope is the greatest thing ever and i long for the day that I can do that plot twist in one of my shows lmao.

- The Villains could’ve been more developed.  Besides Ammon (who is FUCKING AWESOME and you can FIGHT ME) they all had the same problem as Ozai; we dont have many reasons to see them as human or relatable and it makes it hard to hate them as much as we should.  I mean, they do show /some/ human qualities which I appreciate, but I dont entirely understand their motivations half the time and I want to know how they came to view the world the way they do.  But at least unlike Ozai, they do feel somewhat human.  (Except maybe Unaloq, I didnt like Unaloq very much)

And that’s like half of what I could say about each of those shows, and those are just some of my favorite shows I watch.  Dont ask me to go off on like, AOT or something, because I’ll be writing for another three hours lmao (actually feel free to because i wanna INSULT this PIECE OF GARBAGE ANIME that looks rlly pretty but otherwise IS BAD AND IDK WHY I WATCH IT lmao [idk if im joking or sincere sorry])  No show is flawless so I’m going to insult whichever flaws I see.  Fight me.

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it