#i didnt intend on making this piece in relation with the song

[kame-dori]

For example, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be able to differentiate between the moon and the sun.

[queensconquest]

@safaerax​ said: Leona can't help but grin, unwrapping the paper to reveal a beautiful vintage record player. Leona doesn't know how he'll take to it, his knowledge on sirens still small but he was learning. ' I figure you could learn some songs from land, and it might make it better when I can't be around' he says, moving to set it down carefully and close enough near the tank to allow Vil look and touch it. ' And no, I didnt steal this' // leona @ siren vil ~

   Purple  eyes  watch  with  unwavering  attention  as  the  pirate  reveals  what  the  gift  brought  to  him  was.  Pupils  blow  wide  with  interest  ,  tail  thumping  against  the  side  of  the  tank  as  he  points.  “  It  plays  the  pleasant  human  noises  ,  the  instruments  !  “  The  siren  remarks  with  excitement  evident  despite  how  he  typically  played  it  calm  when  being  given  gifts.  “  I’ve  seen  some  in  ship  wrecks,  but  only  heard  it  a  couple  times.  “ 

   Vil  leaned  over  the  edge  of  the  tank  to  look  at  the  device  with  unhindered  curiosity  and  interest.  Fingers  are  swift  to  grasp  towel  and  dry  them  before  he  reaches  to  touch  it  carefully  ,  tracing  over  edges  and  pieces  with  reverent  care.  “  That  would  be  interesting  ,  many  I  know  are  only  ocean  related.  “  Intended  to  lure  and  capture  for  the  kill  ,  he’d  never  needed  more  but  there’d  always  been  an  interest  in  it.  “  I  want  to  listen.  “

   His  attention  turned  towards  Leona  at  the  last  remark.  “  Didn’t  steal  it  ?  “  Wasn’t  that  how  Leona  got  everything  ?  Why  not  this  ?  “  You  bought  it  ?  “  Vil  asked  curiosly  ,  remaining  partially  hanging  over  the  edge  of  the  tank.  His  head  turned  back  towards  the record  player  in  silence  for  a  few  moments.  “  .......Thank  you.  “  The  proud  siren  didn’t  look  at  Leona   ,  but  his  voice  was  truthful  in  its  sincerity.  

[docmurph12]

Ok. So two parter on CATS coming up. POSSIBLY a three parter depending on how long it takes to get through background. Here we go......

So my first request review comes from my good friend. I'm not sure how this is going to go, because I'm going whole hog on this one, again in the interest of pure objectivity.

My understanding of CATS is this. It was a Broadway musical based very loosely on T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats". My friends in and fans of the theater community have told me there isnt really an intended overriding plot. The Wikipedia page I found begs to differ, but they insisted it really is just a collection of vignettes, told through the perspective of a cat. Simple enough? I believe so. Now, I also understand this stage musical to have been adapted a number of times, largely for Broadway and for specific actors and actresses, with the noted exception of the film CATS (2019). Yes that one. Yes I intend to watch it. On purpose. But wait there is more. The 2019 film was trashed nearly universally but everyone before they finished the trailer and after the film was released and viewed. Most people said the performances were fine but visually it was recieved as, to put it simply, fucking wierd. I saw one review that said it was released unfinished, with a CD character model floating into the middle of a scene out of context and with no animation, a mess with texture rendering (apparently Ian McKellan has a scene where his fur just doesn't show. Like the texture is flat. Like it looks like it was published on a floppy disk alongside the original Doom). Not to mention the myriad questions that seem to come up in conversation about the character design choices as a whole. Jesus, how bad is this thing??

My resources tell me a BUNCH of super important contextual things about this one, most important of them being that this is SUPER META Broadway at it's best. Like this is the most Broadway that has ever Broadway'ed. This could be a good thing (one of my favorite musical pieces is fucking everything from Les Miserables), or it could be a bad thing (anyone that knows me knows that with notable exceptions I am NOT a big fan of musicals AT ALL, which is strange for me given my proclivity for weirdness, good storytelling, and music). This is going to be fun for everyone I think so strap in folks. This is going to be a wierd ride through furry land with a guy that wants nothing to do with it, lol. (SCORE, looking like 2 parts)

First I'll be looking at CATS (2019), because I am a glutton for punishment, and my wife says that the best way to get through this is to chew through the shit sandwich first, and then to get through the good stuff, so the good stuff is what sticks. I'm not sure I am going to enjoy either part, but I am open to it so here we go. I'll try to keep my writing as live as possible, per usual.

RIGHT AWAY, as I'm completing the Amazon rental purchase, this cast is fucking loaded. Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson. Judi Dench, Jason Derulo (wait, he acts too? Maybe his part is the worst part in this, I hate his music worse than I dislike Taylor Swift), Idris Elba, Ian McKellan, Rebel Wilson, and more. And that doesnt even include any love for people I am not familiar with that might carry some star power over from Broadway. So this thing is loaded for bear with acting heavies. That said, I really don't understand the comic appeal of Rebel Wilson. I don't think she is funny. You already lost me with Taylor Swift and Jason Derulo. All that said, this cast roster looks expensive.

Ok I am a minute and 47 seconds in and my first thought already is what the hell am I listening to? If this was originally put together in the 80s, and its either loved (ironically I guess?)or reviled, why would you stick with the same musical choices as instrumentation is concerned? I'm guessing I am going to have more on this later.

So completely inconsequential to the actual review the word jellicle as it relates to cats is totally ruined thanks to my learning of a word not in may people's vocabularies. Farticles. Thanks to my cousins for that one.

Alright, so full disclosure. I am not a fan of Rebel Wilson. I enjoy aspects of characters she plays, and she can be funny at times, but when your whole act revolves around one aspect of you (in her case it is that she is a large woman. Seriously its like every joke in all 3 Pitch Perfect movies) it says a lot about your ability to tell a story or joke. That said, it is so nice to not hear Rebel Wilson tell fat jokes. She is genuinely talented. It's hard to watch her in this cat suit (? Cat body? Cat war crime? More later), but it's interesting to see someone explore another side of their craft.

The sound design is...off. I'm not sure how else to describe it. You can LOUDLY hear body parts hitting set pieces. Footfalls, people jumping and grabbing on things. Like seriously you can hear it over the music. It sounds like someone got lazy in the mixing room, or they were trying to make it feel more like a stage production. News Flash. It doesn't make it feel like a stage production. It makes it feel like nobody in the production staff cared as much as the actors. I am beginning to suspect that ALL the money on this movie was spent on casting. And concept art.

I am genuinely confused by the choice to have only a couple cats wear clothes, and when they remove them, their fur looks exactly like the clothes they removed. I'm finding myself looking at things they did that wasted money. Money that could have been spent anywhere else to improve this thing.

All things considered, I could watch Idris Elba play the title character in Jaws, and enjoy it.

I'm pretty impressed by the entire cast's commitment to everything they picked up from their movement coaching. It is obvious that they were trying to incorporate a lot of typical feline movement and habitual aspects, even going so far as utilizing ballet movements for some of the dancing (probably because it is more "feline", to use the word again.) Nobody has really slipped yet. It's pretty impressive.

I think the thing that has me most surprised throughout is that this thing has the ability to elevate some (Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, Francesca Hayward, Jennifer Hudson, the VFX artists) and drag others through the dirt, (Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Idris Elba, the VFX artist team), most times in the same scene. It's crazy how on one hand someone truly can astound you with their performance, blow you away with a wonderful rendition of a song some people know well, and on the other hand you see wonderful, well established actors really putting their asses into a performance that has no way of doing them service because there isn't anything there. For comparison, look at Ben Kingsley in Ghandi, or Lucky Number Slevin, versus his performance in Bloodrayne. It's really hard to watch these respected thespians work their asses off for something that won't ultimately pay off for them because it doesn't have the capability to.

Ok so halfway verdict here:

This was a fucking mess. Now I didnt see the original theatrical release, so I have no idea how truly barrel bottom things got here. I CAN say, that I can see the bones of what this is supposed to be buried in the mess of cat shit (see what I did there????).

The concept of the costuming is essentially what I imagine it is for the stage show, but seeing it in it's execution is.....disturbing. The movement coaching was pretty solid and worked well with the dance choreography, but in combination with the actual character design there is an implied sexuality in the feline-ness that makes you uncomfortable, but not in the thought provoking way, just in the "forced to look at naked people covered in cat fur for an hour and a half" kind of way. Like I was even kind of into Idris Elba's performance of Macavity, until he took off the hat and trench coat and now I'm just watching a naked Idris, but with cat ears and a tail. To be honest seeing this throughout the film really took you out of the immersive aspects of it. Not to mention that while lighting was ok, the actual character models pasted on the motion capture actors moved strangely, sometimes the faces were disjointed with the heads, sometimes textures looked unfinished (not as bad as I thought it would be but I know people that could do better than that on their computers at home.) Just a jarring experience visually overall.

The score was ugly and dated too. Or maybe not the score, so much as the instrumentation. Sound design was atrocious throughout, it seemed like the intent was to make it feel more like a stage production, but if that's the case, why go the route they did in terms of set design and all that? Being able to hear hollow flooring under heavy footfall, or people loudly slamming hands into bars they need to grab to catch themselves, or the piss poor choice in instrumentation, the whole thing feels like B roll for the DVD extras. You know what actually did great in updating the music for a more immersive experience? Aladdin. Check my first review out for more on that one.

So halfway verdict? I say a rough D. I dont see myself going back for this one, but I'm not unable to see the appeal. I just am sort of anticipating the 1998 Broadway production (part 2 of this review) so I can see what this is really SUPPOSED to be. Watch for part 2, coming later!

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 5]

I can’t fucking sleep. Have more of this nonsense.

Same warnings as before (rape references, some more consensual sexuality that stops shy of actual sex). There’s also a brief mention of self-harm at the very end of the chapter.

Recap: Tiaa went to the beach party, which was boring, but she did meet a few creatively-named goth girls who think she’s cool, so now she at least has friends. Also she and Edward almost had sex but didn’t because it was only chapter 4.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

AN - can i have some reveiws pls

Here you go!

Chapter 5 - the talent contest

It was a week later and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. 

Relatable, but why?

My life had crumbled into pieces and I was alone in the horrible darkness of my mind. 

At least it’s nice and empty in there. Plenty of room to stretch out.

the four chearleaders had folowed me a round school and been mean to me for the last week making fun of my clothes and my purple streaked blond hair and saying i was too slim and that i had boobs like a pron star. 

Okay, fine, I’m going to comment on the cheerleader thing. Look… Bella being a cheerleader makes negative sense. Her main character flaw (according to Meyer, anyway) is being so clumsy she trips over flat surfaces. She doesn’t possess the coordination necessary for anything physically demanding. Also, she’s explicitly described as being nothing like a cheerleader in the first Twilight book, if memory serves.

It relay upset me. and also uncle larry had taken my clothed off and rapped me loads of times last week and even though dave and marie were back home now every time they went out to different places they left me with him and he hit me and made me sleep with was so horrible I wanted to die every time it happened.  

Don’t know why this is presented as a secondary concern to being picked on by cheerleaders.

Is there a reason Tiaa can’t tell anyone about what’s going on with Uncle Larry? Like, I can think of a lot of potential reasons why she might not be able to seek help here, but we aren’t given any reason, so it’s a mystery. Also, is she at risk of becoming pregnant, or contracting an STI, or is she being hurt badly enough to require medical attention? This guy is pretty violent and persistent, but her encounters with him are barely described at this point, so we don’t really know what’s been going down.

Which is probably a blessing.

Edward Culen stared at me whenever he saw me at school but i just anchored him and pretended he wasnt there i was so embaresed about watt had hapenned and I hated him for the way he made me feel and the fact that he was a cheater and an ass. 

Yeah, he’s like that.

I would probably have ended my life that week if it hadnt been for my lovley new freinds abbigaille rochelle and tyfanni, who were all totally cool and helped me fight off the evil chearleaders - i hadnt told my freinds aboit uncle larry and ewdard but it was nice to have some peopel who liked me anyways. 

Hold up a second. There are four cheerleaders. Counting Tiaa, there are four goth girls. So why is this portrayed as some sort of unequal battle? Both groups are the same size, and I assume Tiaa’s group has an edge because she’s a Mary Sue and the Sue always has an edge, so… why haven’t they sent the cheerleaders packing yet?

I wasn’t really picked on in high school, but I was picked on lots in middle school, and it was always about numbers. I didn’t have any good friends to back me up, so I was an easy target. If it was just one kid going after me I could hold my own just fine, but when I got ganged up on there was a problem. Having a few losers hurl insults at you when you have your own crew of losers to back you up isn’t a bullying problem because there’s no power imbalance. It’s just kids being rude to each other. It’s certainly not on par with, let alone worse than, being raped by an adult man when you’re sixteen.

I sat in the cafeteira with them at lunch

"hey tiana are you doing the talent contest tonite?" rochelle asked me

Oh boy. 

"no way im not good enough!" i said shyly

"omfg are you kidding! yor a AMAZIN singer your the best iv'e ever heard, no joke!" shouted Abigail 

So I only vaguely remember the talent show, but I’m pretty sure what happens is that Tiaa does compete, and she wins, and Edward loses his mind over it or something. I seem to remember an encounter in Edward’s car after the talent show, too, but we’ll get to that when we get to that.

"thank you but your just being nice, im' not THAT good an even if i was i wouldn't perform. I mean i hardly want to contract more attension to myself than i already have, the whole school is all ready talking about me saying watt a freak i am. I just wanna be an average person"

"come on tiaa you HAVE to do it!" tyffanie said, "jessica and bella and the chearleaders win every time with there dumb dance routine it is so annoying, they arent even talented someone needs to teach them a lesson hun!" 

"I dunno maybe" I pimpled mutely but I had no intension of actually doin it.

I feel like I’m watching a made-for-TV teen movie on Disney Channel, except this one has a lot of rape in it and also the love interest is a vampire. And the protagonist pimples mutely, whatever that means.

Later on me and my freinds sat in the crowd and wached the contest. The chearleaders did there dance ruotine and they werent that awesome, they were just wearing slutty cloths so all the guys could stare at them and cause they were popular no one was allowed to say they sucked. 

On the bright side, at least Tiaa’s competition is bad so she doesn’t have to be unrealistically amazing in order to win here. On the not-so-bright side, we all know Tiaa is going to be unrealistically amazing anyway and that Bella and her friends are being made to look bad in order to ultimately break up Edward and Bella’s relationship.

At the end bella ran into edwards arms and I felt flames of jelusy burning up inside me. they kissed for a long time and although he looked at me the whole time i still wanted to cry and scream.

I would too if a guy I didn’t know that well stared at me the entire time he was making out with his girlfriend. Fuckin’ weird.

The principal caked up on the stage and said

Hang on. He caked up?

"and now for our final act...atlantiana rebeckah loren!" everyone looked at me and I was shocked

"omfg who put my fringing name down for this!" I screamed

"who knows girl just get up there !" abbie pushed me towards the stage and I went up there.

Edward put her name down for it, right? I mean, I’m guessing from context that it wasn’t one of her friends who did, even though they all encouraged her to perform. If it was Edward, though, what did he reckon she’d do? Her friends at least have heard her sing, but as far as Edward knows Tiaa’s only talent is… looking pretty, I guess.

I sang total eclipse of the heart (punkrock verson so it wasnt sappy and lame or anythin!0 and everyone watched me. I was embarased at first but everyone semed to be enjoying themselves (exept the chearleaders who looked totally mad!LOL) so I sang louder and louder and my voice soared higher than ever was like magic. 

Or something.

I was waering a purple lacy top cut low enough that you could see my bra and a black skirt and purple fishnets and spiky black heels. 

I mean, sure, but you just criticized the cheerleaders for dressing in revealing clothes a few paragraphs ago.

the song finished and everyone looked happy and clangled at me and i went blushing to sit on my friends

They clangled? You went to sit on your friends?

"remind me to kill wichever one of you beeches put my name down for this!-" i said but i was smiling

"LOL" shouted rochelle "it wasnt us you no!”

Yep, it was Ewdard. 

"and the winner is...ATLANTIANA REBECKAH LOREN! " the principal screamed extatically. 

Is the principal okay?

I went back up onto the stage and shock his hand and everyone appladed me and screamed my name except for jessica and bella who looked like they were about to kill me, lmfao. 

What about the other two cheerleaders? Were they converted to Team Tiaa by all this?

My eyes strayed to where edward stood gazing baldly at me. I all most fainted right then at the sight of him looking so hawt and gorgeous. I dnt think anyone else had noticed but he had a MASSIVE erection it was so hawt and sexoy. 

Both of you need to calm down.

I saw bella and jessica storming out of the room angry that i had won, and I smiled.

For real, what happened to the other two cheerleaders?

Later on i walked home happily, then a car purred up beside me. It was ewdard!  

"get in the car i'll drive thee home sweet lady" he said in his beautiful old fashioned speech. I did as he told me without knowing were quiet for a minite

"you were awesome tonight, you have a stunning voice like silk and satin in the moonlight. You looked beyond beautiful up on that stage, like an old painting in a church. i wanted to charge right at u and kiss thine lips right there" 

I know the author is trolling, but I love the idea that this is what teenage girls find hot — a dude who talks in anachronistic Ye Olde English and gets boners from watching you sing. Because that’s normal.

Actually, I did read a fic once that seemed to be intended as serious erotica, and one character switched into Ye Olde English as soon as the sexy stuff began. And by “sexy stuff” I mean torturing and murdering a Yu-Gi-Oh character. No accounting for taste, I guess.

he still had a huge erection and i wanted to touch it so badly but i didnt. 

He’s driving, so probably best to leave that alone.

"i think BELLA might have had somethin to say about that!" i snapped "where is she neway?"

"at home sulking cause she lost the contest and had a total hissy fit and cryed for hours because thee was better than her in the contest"

At least someone is in character.

"how mature" I said sacastically. At that moment edward pulled his car to the side of the road and looked me in the touched my hand and I slapped him hard in the face

Seems a tad hypocritical when you were considering going for the dick-grab a minute ago.

'YOU WILL NEVER TOUCHE ME AGAIN U SICKO!" I wailed and kept hitting him in the face and chest "last week I fuckin BEGGED u to sex on me and you turned me down! I have never been so humilated in all my frickin LIFE! Watt the hell is wong with u? One mimite your all over me and the next its like i dnt even exist! dnt fuckin touch me. EVERR!"

All of this would be a perfectly reasonable gripe except that Tiaa acts the exact same way. I’ll cut them both a little slack — Tiaa for being sexually abused, Edward for internal conflict over whether or not to leave his girlfriend — but, come on, pot calling the kettle black.

"its complecated tiaa my lady. Im sorry i hurt thine feelings. Its just i cant resist thee, but i cant be with thy either. I never ment to drag thou into this mess, its not thee fault i totally ruin everything. Im so SO SORRY. IM DESPISABLE!"

Can’t argue with that. Mostly because “despisable” is not a word.

"its me or her "i said bluntly

"i cant make that choice tiaa - he wept

And I take it polyamory is off the table, because it always is.

"you are going to have to!"

"first thee have to tell me who thou relay are!" he said "who were thy parents?what are thee?"

"my mom dies when I was bored, I never new my father. Thats it." i said

"we BOTH no thats not the full story. Your a vampire, like me"

Though I’m glad that this fic at least avoids the cliché of having the Sue figure out that Edward’s a vampire way in advance, it seems odd that she’s given basically no thought to the possibility that he’s inhuman after he’s claimed to be a vampire multiple times.

-omfg i'm NOT a frickin vampire! I think id have noticed u total dipshit"

I’d think she’d have noticed too, but she seems incapable of noticing anything’s weird about Edward. The Ye Olde English doesn’t strike her as unusual? His looks aren’t odd? What about the change-color eyes? Mind reading? Really, dude isn’t very good at keeping up the human illusion, which is probably why he and his family typically keep their distance from humans. But there I go talking about canon.

"you don't drink human blood"- he asked

"i dont drink any blood u asshole. Is this ur idea of a joke, cos no ones laughing!" i got out of the car and ran away feeling insulted.i didnt want to see that stupid hawt jerk ever again! I went home. But i couldnt get rid of the memory of his sharp erection and deadly cold body. 

Oh yeah, and the temperature thing. I know some people run cold — I’m one of them — but we’re not talking 97 degrees instead of 98; dude is probably room temperature all the time, since he’s essentially dead. Tiaa doesn’t think that’s weird and inhuman?

i cut myself and went to sleep in tears.

Like a reel goff.

Next chapter

[inspired-bythem]

방탄소년단 BTS related recent personal thoughts

i noticed that lately ppl refrain for telling their honest opinions or thoughts related to bts on twitter so  i will just write shortly here all my fustration i have been feeling for these past months on this site becuase i feel a bit more confortable to do that in here. i watched that video that i just reblogged and i really enjoyed watching it.

"i actually want to see them in korea. they have too many tours."

i am a fan and i agree with these 2 ladies reporters.you dont know how i feel as a fan living in korea when the group i like are pretty much 70% of the year gone aboard. i dont know if it is indeed 70% of the time but it feels like that to me. BTS need to concentrate on korea more.

and my complain is why fans in korea itself get less concert dates which is only 2 days when other countries get more than 4 or 6? there are so many fans in korea that didn't managed to go to wings concert .me included.the ticketing was pure hell,i am sure some of you heard of it from twitter.i even wasted a sleepless night in the cold on the night before the first concert to see if they will sell any tickets,at the venue and nothing!that horrible it was.i usually avoid anything related to the wings tour because it was the only event i was waiting for this year since the epilogue era last year.probably i will be depressed and wont get over it the whole year becuase of it.especially...that some of the ppl that managed to get tickets are not even real fans.i know ppl that they are like"i am not really a fan but i just wanted to see what;s the hype about them.so i got a ticket"imagime my feelings when they are the only group i would stay in cold and rain for them for hours and starve myself because i cant move from my spot to be able to get a change to see them.i know,life is not fair.but it makes me sad that ppl like those manage to get tickets and real fans dont. because the membership the 3rd term was messy and shitty and so cheap and basically a lot of scalpers who got the membership only with the idea to buy tickets and sell them on ridiculous prices stealing the change from real fans that actually want to go and enjoy their favorites. the original price was 110.000 won which is pretty much around 100$ i guess and some of these illegally sold tickets were priced from 550.000 won up to 5.000.000 won.yup you read that well. they asked 5.000$ for a silly ticket.ridiculous! and a lot of the non-bangtan fans got their hands on the membership.i know someone myseld that she is not a fan and got the membership because it was cheap ans had nothing to lose..bighit better come with a better plan for the 4th term if they dont want the same chaos like this previous year.probably they are planing something new like i see they are unusually late with the infos about the new term.

another complain is that i heard a huge section in that cursed Gocheok Sky Dome (which i hate to death and it is not only me but a lot of fans because the view is super shitty,you cant really see them well the seats are so far away from the stage)was basically full with reporters and other idols that were invited.so a bunch of seats were gone automatically from us the fans only because those ppl came.i understand that these so called international stops are necessary more for publicity than for money and of course a great chanse to interact with their international fans(except for europe.us we dont exist. i am a european and if i would not have been currently in korea,i would have never ever had the chanse to see them if i was in europe),but bangtan need to concentrate on their own country trying to grow bigger here in korea.they are a hot issue in the kpop industry lately but still they havent reached that point were non-kpop ppl would know their group name.they do have a big korean fandom but that is pretty much it.as a fan from the begining that i was around in those times when no one pretty much knew who they were and there were only few hundreds of  ARMYs now it feel kinda weird and i still havent got used with the idea that they have thousands of fans in korea itself which is great knowing that most of the male idol groups are struggleing to actually gain a decent amount of fans,because too many groups. i failed attending the stop in korea,a lot of fans that went to the seoul stop will go to the manila one as well. there was this girl that i know personally that asked me if i want to go with her to manila because she has extra tickets,the venue is way better and the seats she got are really decent but hey,because life is unfair,i cant go.personal reasons.and i part of me is sobbing inside because i could go but i cant because yeah..money! cant afford to travel aboard. i probably sound like a salty person,maybe i am turning into a salty person,it's impossible not to when it is such a strong competition in here who manages to see them most and closer.. first of all they dont earn that much money with these world stops,except for japan.they do earn some with japan i undertstood. they can earn decent money from korea itself because there will be fans traveling all the way from diferent areas to seoul just to see them.they are a group that they sell really well currently so bighit doesnt have to worry about not managing to sell more concert days in korea itself more than those cursed 2 days they usually throw at us and after all this is bighit's main goal as a company :"money!" there should be Muster 4 going on soon in the future in few month..when exactly i have no idea.probably after september or so,when they are done with the Wings tour for good. but honestly i’m not that excited for it.if i managed to get a ticket,great it not i wont be that sad this time around.these fanmeetings are diferent from concerts. concerts are more fun.fanmeetings are basically an event that lasts around 2.h and 30min the most if not less. in which 1h itself is just a fricking scripted content like an interview.i almoust fall asleep last time.not that is not fun,ok i get it they answer some questions but i came to see the guys singing and interacting with the fans,that is why it';s a fanmeeting is it? but they dont...it's just more scriped...and then they perform some of their songs and bye you can go home thanks.well can't complain becuase the price is cheap anyway.at least it was.we will see if they will change the ones in the future. i am sure that the previous fanmeeting must have been more intime and warmer but having a meeting in that huge dome is definelly not like that.it feels cold...it didnt gave me the feeling of them interacting for real with fans. once i will leave this country i know that i will never see them again,except on a laptop screen if i am lucky to have internet.and i hate myself for being that type of fan that is too shy and get;s into panic mode when by some miracle one of the members are quite close to me.i should take the chanse and call their names and stuffs but i all the time i had that chanse i never did it.because there is like this thought in my head that tells me"you are not worthy of their attention.you are a piece of garbage comparing to them.you're too ugly and a failure, dont make them look at you.you dont deserve their attention for 3 secs.do not call his name". because of that i freak out and i lose those chanses.i keep saying i should make that thought silent next time and just enjoy the moment,but i never managed.i failed most of the times.

i am really proud of them,it haven’t sinked in me the idea that now are ridiculously popular comparing to how they used to be in 2013-2014.

they are the kindest idols i have ever seen and meet and observed comparing to other idols i have met.the only group that i care and admire and respect all 7 members.i hope they will never turn arrogant,that;s my only fear with this whole attention they are starting to get.

anyway.i should stop talking so much nonsense.i am sorry.i do not intend to upset anyone,i just needed to throw everything i have on my chest out.

i hope everyone has a good weekend.

[lookwhatilost]

i saw this valentines day ask meme earlier and i wanted to reblog it but i also dnt want people prying on gp and i know nobody will send me anything here bc i have like no followers, so im going to answer it under the cut and if you wanna b #nosy, then you’re at your liberty to do so

also im drunk answering these so theres that

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

lmfao

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

yes, sadly 😪

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

unofficially we were on and off over the course of almost 4 years but officially the longest we were together was only a handful of months... but i generally tell people the unofficial version bc i feel like they’d downplay the significance of it otherwise

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

yeah but in the sense that i let good things inside me wither and die when i shouldnt have

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

he’s living with someone else but makes a point of letting me know that he’s still th*rsting over me... it’s rly embarrassing

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

idk for certain but most likely

7: Have you ever cheated?

no

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

if i was aware, no, but i feel like i’d be totally possible for me to start going out w someone like that without being aware of that reputation beforehand

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

your heads need to b in the same place i think... what with priorities, values, etc. i know some people can happily ignore conflicts like that & jst know to never bring them up but i can’t ever picture myself doing that.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

i’ve never had a “fling” in my life and i dnt intend to

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

if you need space from someone, then it is what it is, but i dnt think i would ever use the term “break” bc it’s too grey. i’ve seen friends. i know what’s up.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

harry’s the only person ive been with in any capacity

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

a lot but i think i would say, like, letting it go on for as long as it did bc i thought i didn’t have anything else going for me. granted, i didn’t, but sometimes it’s better to be invested in an ex that you aren’t speaking to, than be invested in a relationship that’s dragging you down

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

never tbh sex is dumb as shit

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

fuck no

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

i believe you can instantly recognize that you connect to another person but that’s not, like, love lmfao

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

yeah but i’ve no interest in that

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

in a relationship i dnt think i would interpret anything as an objective deal breaker aside from the Big Shit like cheating etc. but if i was considering dating someone i think the biggest deal breaker would be political differences.

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

i’ll let you know when i figure it out

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

no

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

under the right circumstances, sure

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

i would encourage them to. i personally wouldn’t want to get into a romantic relationship that didn’t already have the foundation of a strong platonic one

23: How many relationships have you had?

one

24: Do you think love can last forever?

no but i dnt think there’s anything wrong with that either

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

absolutely not

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

my parents are so out of touch w who i am that their approval or objection carries no weight beyond that so... no

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

all advice is useless. conclusions have no meaning unless you draw them yourself. if i could go back in time, i would kill hitler.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

yes but personally ive no interest in one

29: What do you notice first about another person?

this is gnna sound dumb but whether they have a threatening vibe to them or not. for context: i work in service

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

i’m bisexual but i dnt see my attraction to men as anything more than begrudging & a nuisance

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

not in principle, but i have a lot of mental illnesses myself, and if i was in a position where my mental disorders and my partner’s were jst endlessly feeding off of one another... yeah that would definitely upset me

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

harry was definitely emotionally abusive to me at times but he was jst stupid tbh and retrospectively i dnt consider it to be abusive. jst, like, it was a very bad dynamic and it coaxed shitty things out of both of us

33: Do you want to get married one day?

not rly

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

i wouldnt

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

easily

36: Are you still a virgin?

i wish

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

personality obvi but physical attraction still needs to be there lmfao

38: Do you enjoy love films?

no they’re bad

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

ive gotten roses twice

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

what even is that

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

i dnt have a specific vision but it would involve day drinking lmfao

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

yeah. 3/10 tbh.

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

it’s a balancing act! ive been guilty of putting my friendships on the back burner in favor of romantic relationships and i dnt want to do that again!

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

not anymore

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

this is a loaded question bc all my friends follow this... if i say yes, it’s awkward. if i say no they’ll be like “well why the fuck not?”

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

have people i liked romantically not returned my feelings? yes. have i gotten all indignant and entitled abt it? i’d like to think not.

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

literally i can’t even think of any

48: What's your favorite love song?

momentarily? knock you down by keri hilson. it’s cute & a throwback

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

doubt it

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

lack of proximity to available people that i’m compatible with, the fact that i have standards

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

poor & nice... no shit sherlock

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

all dating advice is a shout into the void. i dnt bother

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?

i think exposure to that kind of stuff hits on a very real insecurity that stems from a rly long pattern of being mistreated in my romantic endeavors, but it’s not jealousy lmfao it’s something much more insidious than that... like i feel like im being taunted for having extremely severe emotional trauma related to that and it’s rly not a can of worms i want to open

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?

it’s not like important-important, but suffice to say, i would be suspicious of someone who was vehemently against it

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

i’m trying to learn there’s nothing shameful abt being attached to the people you care abt, so yes & no

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

yeah but i dnt feel particularly bad abt it either

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

when you’re suicidal you dnt care much for what is or isnt silly, let’s be real

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

ideally my relationships dnt have a dynamic like that

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

i have a weird fixation on dates and remember significant ones from, like, 10 years ago. february 9th 2009 was a big one, actually. so no i generally dnt forget dates unless i didnt commit them to memory in the first place

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

stupid

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

my family isnt important to me

62: How do you define "cheating"?

doing anything #physical with someone other than yr partner, or like, carrying out any sort of emotional relationship w someone you aren’t dating (like you’re telling someone else that you love them & wanna get w them or whatever)... some of it is rly cut n dry but other times its very, well, grey

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

i mean it’s not but like... holy shit dude you’re not 15 anymore.

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

who dznt?

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

probably. who knows. i cant believe answering this ate up almost a whole hour

[groundramon]

Doesn't that song fit Stain better? Though yah that song does give off a BNHA vibe.

HMM THAT’S ACTUALLY A GOOD POINT although I dont know if the childhood backstory applies to Stain or not?  I’m not sure if he wanted to be a hero as a kid.  Maybe I forgot when it was revealed or it was revealed in the manga beyond where the anime ended, idk.

BUT I guess explaining why I thought it fit Deku kinda requires me to explain something I took away from the Hero Killer arc.  Kinda like a theory, but I’m not really going to be “wrong” if my prediction part doesn’t happen because imo the interpretation was intended by horikoshi, even if it wasnt meant to foreshadow something.

So I always took the Hero Killer arc as a “what if” scenario.  Or kind of like a learning experience for Deku.  Not in a “this would never happen to Deku” way, but in a “this could absolutely happen to Deku and Horikoshi might still go down this path” way.  Idk I’m doing a horrible job of explaining this, BASICALLY:

Deku, and also Todoroki and Iida, both sympathized with the hero killer’s message before they were aware of the extent of corruption in the government - let alone after.  Sure they had some understanding of the unfair things about quirk preferences and whatnot (Deku was bullied for being quirkless, Todoroki is the result of an abusive quirk marriage, and Iida….didnt really have one. if anything he was part of the problem, being related to a bunch of pro-heroes, but I digress) but not as much as they did at the end of the arc.

But now, they’re aware that the government covers up stories that they dont want to get out to the press, not to mention the shitty laws that required that coverup in the first place and would have had their three lives ruined were it not for said coverup.  I don’t know if they put the pieces together yet considering the coverup actually helped them, but if I was in their position, I’d start seriously questioning a government that covers up the breaking of such an important law - not to mention that law in the first place would make me question that government.  A government that has such strict laws, but its okay to break them when it’s convenient for the government?  What?  Then why not when it’s convenient for the average citizen?

I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point, Horikoshi does pin some of the class 1A heroes against the government.  And in fact I’d encourage him to do this, as Todoroki has no ties to the law itself and mostly wants to spite his father by doing good (ie being a hero) and thus that would actually pin him against the government if anything, plus Deku would have a fascinating dilemma between his lifelong dream and….well, his lifelong dream.  He would have to choose between being recognized as a hero and being lawful and going against his morals, or going towards his morals, against the law, and being seen as a hero by some but not as a pro hero.  And I’d be fascinated to see what Deku would choose.  Not to mention, I’m sure if Todoroki spread “rumors” (literally just the facts) around, he could get other heroes in the class to join his cause.  My only gripe with this story idea is that I have no idea how Iida would handle it, considering he already went through his character development in regards to this issue.  If Iida would side with Todoroki, I think this would be more compelling, but that would require Iida to backtrack his character development and that would be less compelling than the alternative of having Iida say no to Todoroki.  But would Todoroki even have the guts to split off like that?  I have no fucking clue mdude.

Idk its not really a theory, just ideas based on that arc.  I felt like the arc was not only reflecting a side of the government that we’re meant to consider but also foreshadowing something in the future, even if it’s not exactly what I hypothesized.  Shrugs.  But I guess that’s why I felt like it applied to Izuku/BNHA in general.  Sorry, I let my headcanons affect how I perceived the canon without a proper explanation xD

[soullesscoyote]

All the asks

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?My process for naming fics is eitherA) a joke name because i can't help myselfB) or a name that just sounds like "yeah that's a fitting title name"B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?Plenty! I try to follow the rule "write what you know" in a way to convey maybe something I've experienced, but also use it to write what I don't know about.For example I have a lower middle class family, but to write a more well off family i base it on things I've seen and experienced when younger like those times we got home from the grocery store and that first day with a ton of food and i felt like i wouldnt have to worry about eating a ton of it, or even back when i was younger (7) with a loft bed and having all my stuff organized with a spot in my room had me feel really content with my life where i felt like i had everything i wanted and couldn't ask for more. I had a 3d puzzle of the inside of a frog, an ant farm, a hamster, a framed picture of a praying mantis, a very small binder of pokémon cards, a room painted green and at that age and time felt like my life was really together despite not knowing how to articulate it. It felt like my own personal space that i had control of so to write a well of family i try to write in things that give off a similar feeling of a well put together room except a entire house that way where everything feels like it has its place. If that makes sense.C: What character do you identify with most?In Marble Hornets, Jay Merrick who just wanted to help everyone despite how many time those people tried to kill or hurt him.In Voltron, Keith in terms of not always feeling like I belong in groups and sometimes struggling to understand myself. Also Hunk whos a very caring person with a big heart.In Be More Chill i relate to Jake where in freshman year of high school i worked really hard to be the best in my classes to a point that id cry from stress every night.Jeremy feeling unimportant and more like a background character with nothing really notable about him compared to everyone else.Brooke feeling constantly like she's second best to Chloe and people using her.Christine being unsure of what she wants in life as she nears the last year of high school where she feels like she needs to decide.Rich while unsquipped seeming like he hardly knows how to handle himself in social situations and seeming incredibly anxious without a squip also being a big nerd D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?Typically if its a musical depending on viewpoint i listen to songs with those characters in it.In other things its songs that give me a similar feeling to the thing i'm writing (for example i imagine things as color pallets so i try to match them with the colors another thing gives me. Or the corresponding emotion i feel/need to feel as I write a scene.E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?Starting From Square One? The sequel would be more of Rich adjusting to life without a squip and living a pretty happy life with Michael and them going about their lives be it them going to college and struggling or as adults with jobs and trying to figure themselves out during that since i kinda feel like life is constantly a thing of trying to figure yourself out.Out of the tons of Voltron Fics probably more on Keith being glara and the lives/background behind the galra species with how it affects keithIn hu it's hard to say. A lot of them would be hard to find a way to make sequels of but considering Starting From Square one is the only fic i managed make myself work on currently i wouldnt say its impossible to find/make sequels for any of those ficsF: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?For Be More Chill http://archiveofourown.org/works/11671890/chapters/26267448 Both because its from Michaels viewpoint and it definitely doesn't seem to go out of its way to make Jeremy a monster and make Michaels personality center around hsi panic attack like plenty fics do.G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?I'm not too big on crack fics because i personally love really long fics with character development. (crack fics are good, for me it's just my preference where most of the time i'm not in a huge mood for them) but i know this one has been p funny https://my.w.tt/UiNb/v4KNrRgajJ H: How would you describe your style?Id say i write in whatever sounds right in my mind while i'm reading to fit the mood of what i intend to portray. Its really hard to sayI: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?Already answeredJ: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].Starting from Square Ones Alternate ending would be it ending where Rich snaps at everyone and it would have a sequel of everyone in the squip squad meeting Rich in college after not seeing him for an entire year. They'd find who took online classes because he didn't want to see anyone and was still pissed and during that time he had gotten several jobs and was barely even supporting himself with how his dad doesnt care for him. (potentially where he may take up selling drugs) and everyone does try to apologize but it takes awhile for anyone to convince Rich they actually mean it.K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?In Starting From Square One there was a scrapped idea of everyone actually hating rich and him trying desperately to convince them it wasn't his fault he started the fire only when everyone finally does get proof from Jeremy who actually understands Rich's struggle because he had a squip longer Rich hasn't gone to school in well over a week and has goes missing because he's hiding from his dad. L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?I based one on a dream i had which was like a Xiaolin Showdown, meets high school au, meets almost one pieceLike if you touched these specific items they latched onto you and gave you abilities that typically corresponded to an animal or gave a animals trait to you like enhanced sense of smell, stronger legs for jumping, wings etc. It wasn't fully thought out or planned so it's a very vague idea.M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?Im writing bits and pieces of terraverse, its hard but i'm getting somewhere with it! There's others but they're like aus based off dreams that i'm yet to figure out how to explain or develop in a way they make sense.N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?All of them tbhO: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?Typically plot first and then i'll add characters to match the plotP: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)It's a little bit of bothI try to plan in advance but as i write Point A going to Pont B i do find things in the story that unfold as I go and then proceed to go to my planning to find a spot to mention it again later.For example i mainly planned on in Starting From Square One that Rich would have known Michaels older brother from when he was a kid but didnt know his last name therefore didn't know he and Michael were related and as I wrote more in my planning it sort of unfolded as I wrote and became me writing in that Michaels older brother dropped out of college because of how stressful it was and Rich gos to stay with him and that's when he finds out michael and him are brothers.Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?While writing if i decide suddenly I want to change something I take what i've already written of that version and paste it into a Google doc of scrapped ideas. That way if i can find a chance to implement them in another fic or other point in a chapter even if written differently i can have the general idea for what i may have intended to go off of.R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?None in particular but I feel like a little bit of everything I've read and written influences my writing since i always find something somebody may have written i want to implement in a fic.Not like their idea. But small things like reading people write about Michael's parents did influence me to include Michaels parents in my fic. Not the same way they did but it was something i read that had made me stop and realize.I never considered what some of these character's families and cousins and such are thinking as they may hear about this from another viewpoint like Michael’s, Jeremy’s, Rich's, Brooke’s, Chloe's, Jenna’s, or Christine's.S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?In voltron (before it became canon) i liked a trope that Keith isn't as angry as everyone makes him and actually is just really defensive and afraid of being seen as weak to everyone else because lance seems to constantly go to pick on him for things.In Be More Chill i stand by the Trope Jake is really smart just perhaps Ditzy and gets really excited over something and struggles to pay attention to the other details because of a long theory and research i did with all the extra curriculars jake did paired with his need to be the best. T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?G o dIn Hollywood Undead stuff I always hated Aron being an unreasonable asshole by default.In Be More ChillJeremy's character being reduced to having been an asshole to Michael because it erases how they were friends for TWELVE YEARS and Jeremy in the bathroom did say "I missed you" TO MICHAEL. Or how Jeremy did have a lot of stressful shit happen to him minutes prior which made him get really defensive over the squip.Everytime people center Michaels personality around his panic attack i love 7 years to my life because they only go as far as Michael hates himself but never even delve into things like how Michael said to Jeremy how he wouldn't be glad to see him after he heard about his research on the squip Kinda like he anticipated Jeremy wouldn't be happy and Michael had a feeling Jeremy wouldn't outright be happy about it.(asks cut me off hold up)