#i didnt care for graduation or walking but ik my family did

[eatprayjop]

:/

[abnormalmind777]

Qurantine with my family is fucking I sufferable

It's been 2 weeks I've been qurantined with my fam and in Toronto it's not gonna end until mid to late April. I dont think I can survive that long without breaking something.

We had to quarantine as soon as my mom is coming back into the country and I was temporarily laid off while my uni canceled all classes for the rest of the semester but we still had to do our assignments rip.

I hate being around my mom. One moment she'll be sweet and caring blah blah blah but most of the time she's insufferable controlling misogynistic narcissist. I didn't realize until last summer that my mom never really cared about my wellbeing but more as a prop that her friends can comment on. Because she's controlling I cant do anything for myself even tho she, and the family, keeps saying I should act like an adult.

Reader, they don't want me to be an adult. They want an adult child that does everything that they say.

I lost count of how many times I had to sneak even healthy food into my room cuz Ik she's going to be judgy either way.

My dad, along with my mom, are my worst nightmares but not in the way you think.

Since I was 11yo, I've been diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome. When I became older, when I identified my symptoms, I horrifyingly recognized them in my dad too.

He was pretty neglectful. My mom did all the childcare stuff while my dad did the fun stuff like teach me Sports or take me to Wonderland. However, his love pretty much ended there. He's an accountant and crazy good at math while I was awful at it. No matter how much I tried, he would constantly belittle me, saying I wasted his money on tutors. What really stood out was when I got the math award in Grade 9, he would brag about it to his friends but he didnt actually show up to the ceremony. Another was during my high school graduation. My mom was outside the country so she couldnt go. My dad didn't bother to show up, not even to see me walk. He wanted to watch the news instead. I thought this was a brown dad thing. Except my friend, who is the same ethnicity as me, her family not only came, but her showed up with a bouquet of flowers for her. I felt so humiliated that I lied and said my dad had work.

I'm terrified that if I became a parent, i would just be like him.

Qurantine is bringing up all these past scars and I hate it. I can't even go to therapy cuz everything is closed.