#i didn't want to cry today

[silverdori]

Yep

I am crying

Give the stars a smile for me, will you?  -Smile For the Stars

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

And just like that, when I was getting a little optimistic, my day is suddenly ruined.

[tzarrz]

i listen to fog lake too much

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[nyx-lyris]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

fuck you

"You've got your short, sad life left."

“That’s what I’m counting on…”

Keep reading

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[shadowen]

My brain is absolutely terrible today. Here's some pictures of my pets.

[dee-daa]

i remember when alhaitham first appeared in genshin and me and my friend were talking about why i like him and she was like "you like his pecs, right?" and i was like "well, yeah." and she didn't let me finish and add the other reasons why i like him like bruh...

anyway, alhaitham is extremely kind but expresses it in a way that most people don't understand and i honestly really relate to him for having the whole "seeming too cold to be spoken to" vibe, and the fact that we both hate doing what doesn't interest us, and our dislike for loudness (and probably other stuff, but my brain is running on a cup of vanilla cappuccino and simping magic, so i forgor)

[purplemessidk]

pt. 10 The end of episode 7 [This is in the past, remember, I'll fix everything] Masterpost Prologue Song: Of Monsters And Men - Yellow Light So… now I want to say a few words here too… This is the second and last thing I wanted to show in the comic. This is the end of the main story. An open ending, a fan version of the "before", which (with a couple of details changed) then flows into Cass' story (before Cass started talking more about the Turtles' past ehehfheh)

From the very beginning, I wanted to see how the funeral could be during their apocalypse (as cruel as it sounds) In my head it was incredibly beautiful and sad, I hope I managed to convey it at least 1/4.

I tried in my clumsy way to touch on all the initial stages of their lives and the moment in animatic is a kind of turning point for them, when they simply have no choice but to move in order to live.

I'm not going to touch that part of their lifes anymore. I'll just quickly go over the details in their future and move on to the ending. I think I should still thank at this stage everyone who read and watched everything related to this story. I want to see happy ending. I want them all to be alive and happy.

(By the way, I am most proud of the lore of the axolotl…)

[spokelseskladden]

somehow i managed to speedrun every injury/situation which landed me in the emergency room this year last night👍 emergency room wrapped if you will

[lilliancdoodles]

Week 1 MerMay!! Roughish sketch of Life is like the ocean, it goes up and down (by @tastytoastz) Jaiden and Foolish chilling on the beach before everything goes to shit

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Reading all these old posts where people are desperately trying to piece v3's plot together through 5 benevolent people in the fandom willing to translate, screenshots, livestreams, and a mad game of telephone makes me feel CRAZY. I so desperately wish I could time travel and explain it all to everyone. And also make them wait for the damn game to come out in a language they can understand before they form opinions on the twists of the game.

[jessjad]

I was already in an emotional slump today when I came across this again. And I actually don't know why I read it again... It's so heartbreaking, sad, but still beautifully written. The way you morphed the ending into your own little storyline is just bittersweet! 😭 💕💕

Before you continue to reading I'm letting you know that in here is a major spoiler for Spn se15.ep20 - you've been warned 🥲

Warnings: all angst this one, show level violence, death

WC: 2,222

I am sorry, but kind of I am not- I've cried a lot writing this and I hope that you will too..🤍

All mistakes are mine!

My Masterlist

Enjoy!

You sat at the library table, staring at the working voice recorder placed on the table in front of you. You didn’t even know what pushed you to do these recordings. Maybe you wished, deep in your heart, that somehow  some version of Dean from an alternate universe would find them. All that sorrow, grief and pain that you went through from losing a soulmate of your world, should probably have some effect on them, too, right? He wouldn’t be the Dean you’re talking about right now, but he���d know that in some other timeline he was loved, he’s gone and you’re missing him, a lot. You wanted to hope so at least.

Maybe it was just to get those feelings out that were burning your insides like acid. Even if it was the same story told by you every day. Maybe it was just your way to deal with losing him.

Well, whatever the reason was, you had no one you needed to explain yourself to. 

Some days it was just maddening, being all alone in the Bunker. Sam had left a long time ago. He didn't forget Dean, but he definitely moved on. You stayed put, you couldn't take the needed step to move out or to try move on. All connections with Jody and Donna and even Claire slowly died off and there was no one left for you to go to other than the recorder now waiting for you to speak your mind. Perhaps that was just your fate. Who could change that?

“Hey, Dean, it’s me. Today is..” you sucked in a quick breath. “Today marks the full year that you’ve been gone now.” You continued quietly. November 19th. You couldn’t believe that it’s already been a year without him. “Each day getting closer to today, it has gotten harder for me to climb out of bed in the morning. Every morning when I awoke, I looked beside me in bed and you weren’t there. You haven't been there for a year and I miss you, Dean. I miss you so much.” You thought you had already shed all your tears, but no - they still kept pouring every morning, day and night. 

“And I miss Sam, too. I know that I’ve probably said it a million times before, but…Well, Sam moved out of the Bunker not long after we gave you..” Following words scraped your throat like thorns. “..the burial. And I completely understand that. He didn’t want to stay here anymore. I can’t blame him. I couldn’t leave and now it’s just lonely here. He begged that I’d let him take Miracle with him. I know how much you loved that pup. I miss him, too. But believe it or not, Sam left me the Baby for now. I did tell him that this was your legacy, your father's legacy and he agreed that when the day comes, Baby would be left to his eldest.” You smiled through tears that were silently running down your cheeks, thinking of Sam someday having kids. 

Something that Dean never got to enjoy for his own. Talking about everything over and over again eased you in some way. Even if it was for the day.

“I still have a hard time thinking about that night. Nightmares even. That was supposed to be your last hunt. We were almost out. And…And it was your last hunt.” 

You and Dean did have dreams. Big dreams for your future without Chuck, monsters and hunting. You never told anyone, but you and Dean were very close to trying to start a family. 

You definitely had hoped for a little Mini-Dean. Both of you were so excited, when you had all your late night pillow talks about family and kids, thinking about names even. He would've been an amazing father, you were absolutely certain of that.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Your voice broke. You figured that if it wasn't for you talking to this recorder on a daily basis, you'd probably go mute. You and Sam texted, very infrequently, once a month or so. He gave a promise to Dean, to look out for you, but it wasn't his fault that you were the one drawing back from him. Even with a text a month, you still felt like you were hanging over him like some shadow from his past, clawed to his back, keeping him from moving on. And you didn't want that, so you’d rather not speak at all. 

“What am I supposed to do?” You repeated with a whisper. You still hunted sometimes, if you had the energy for that or if it happened to be close to you. But it was a rare sight. You did some odd jobs, just to have some money for food to keep you going. But you didn't need much. Meal a day was enough to sustain you after all the hard work of sitting at the library or sleeping. 

Honestly you felt like you were fading away staying in the Bunker. But also there was nowhere for you to go.

“We were so close. So close, Dean, to get to our dream…and still…” You couldn't stop the tears that were now free falling. Memories of that night forced themselves into your consciousness. 

A simple routine vampire hunt. You had to admit, you were a little bit nervous, but still, there were the three of you together, so you knew the chances of anything happening were slim. But there were more vamps than you all had expected and it turned out to be a struggle. You were all battling for your lives there. Everything happened so quickly. One second Dean was fighting with one of them, the next moment he was across the room, pinned against the post.

Sam quickly took care of the vamp who had attacked Dean, while you fought with one on your own. Sam came to help you out, and when you took a look around, you saw all the headless bodies laying around. Neither of you didn't even realize at first that Dean hadn't moved after the attack, not before he called out to you. “ Y/N, I- I can't..” 

Sam reacted first and ran to him. “Hey! Hey, hey, don't move, Dean. We'll get help for you. It'll be okay.” Dean took a few quick breaths in. “No, Sammy. It's…I think it's pierced.. right through.” He looked at his stomach and your eyes followed, and you saw a tip of a metal spike coming through.

“Dean! No, no, no…please no! Sammy, help him!” You yelled hoarsely, while your hands traveled all over Dean's body, trying to find the best way to get him off there.

“No, Y/N, sweetie. No.” Dean remained calm when he looked at you. “You can't move me. I'm sorry. I don't think I have long left…” He spoke quietly, a few tears running down his cheeks. You stood in front of him, barely able to stay up as he brought up his hand to your cheek. 

“I love both of you. So much.” His eyes shifted between you and Sam. “Please..Y/N, can I - can I talk with Sam for a second?” You nodded and shut your eyes tightly, fighting tears. “Of course, honey.” You let go of him and walked a little bit further to give them a moment. 

You sat down on the ground and looked at the brothers, who were now saying their goodbyes to each other. This wasn't how the hunt was supposed to end. This wasn't how everything was supposed to end. It was too soon. Just a simple vampire hunt had turned so quickly into this nightmare. 

With his last strength Dean was holding onto Sam's shirt. “You’ll have to look out for her, Sammy. For me. She'll need you out there..” You heard Dean say quietly. “And-” Dean's voice had started to quiver. “I love you so much, my baby brother. I-I need you to tell me…” he took a deep breath to steady his voice and looked Sam straight in the eyes. “I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need to hear that from you, Sammy.” Both of them had tears silently streaming down their faces. “I’ll look after her, Dean. I promise..” You knew how much it hurt for Sam to say the following. “And it's okay, Dean..It will be okay.” he tried to smile through his tears. 

You saw how Dean looked at Sam. His baby brother, he’d taken care of almost all their lives. They've had all their fights over the years, differences on what's right or wrong, or how to save the world, but ultimately all that what was now left there, was love. The same, unconditional love that they've had for each other from day one.

Dean let go of Sam and looked at you on the ground. You knew what was coming and you were not ready for that. “Y/N, please..come here..” he was out of breath just a little. “Dean, no..” you were bawling and protesting against saying goodbye to him even though you still dragged yourself up and to him. 

“I'll be outside for just a second.” Sam moved a few steps back, to give you two a moment alone. You held onto Dean's shirt, keeping yourself from collapsing. You were shaking all over your body from the shock. Even now, standing face to face with him, you couldn’t look Dean in the eyes. “Baby, please look at me.” You shook your head and sobbed loudly, fingers clinging tighter onto his shirt. “I can’t, Dean!” 

Dean reached for your cheek, holding it softly and whispering. “I need you to…I need to see you..” You took a shuddering breath and finally gathered strength to look at him. You didn’t want to think of what’s going to happen tomorrow. All you could do for now, was to cherish the time you had with him. Even if it ends way too soon, you had to be happy with the time you had together. Not every hunter is as lucky as you and Dean were. You had to take everything from that moment that you had to say goodbye to Dean. 

For a little while, both of you stared at each other without saying a word. In his eyes you saw acceptance of what’s to come. He had already made peace with his fate. Now there was only left for you to do the same.

“You are beautiful, Y/N.” he smiled weakly. “I’m sorry..for leaving you, but I know you..” He closed his eyes for a second to take a deep breath to keep going. “I know you’ll be alright, but baby, you have to stop hunting..please promise me, Y/N, that you’ll get out.”

“Dean, I can’t…not alone..”

“Yes, you can.” His hand faintly squeezed yours that was still locked in his shirt.

You moved closer to Dean to rest your forehead against his. “Well...I don’t want to.” you sniffled.

“You have to, sweetheart…Tell me..it’s okay..you have to tell me it’s okay..for me to go.” he spoke fast but the words were quietly fading on his lips. This was it. 

You turned your head towards the door. “Sammy!” Turning back to Dean, you kissed him for the last time. “It’s okay, Dean, you can..you can let go..I love you.” Very faint smile appeared on Dean’s face as he saw Sam beside you again. 

“No bringing me back this time, Sam.” He wheezed out. “We’ll see each other again soon enough.” You rested your head on his shoulder and felt his whole body slowly starting to relax. Dean leaned into you and with his final breath, he quietly whispered into your ear. “I love you, Y/N.” 

From the corner of your eye you saw Sam break down on the floor. He sat there for a minute while you still held onto Dean. A moment later, Sam got up and pulled you into his strong embrace when you were still struggling to breathe. “We- we got work to do.” You sniffled and let go of Sam, sudden numbness taking over you. 

You didn't know how long you were sitting there, thinking about his last moments. You had no idea what time it was. Day or night, it started to feel all the same to you. 

Your brain had blocked out mostly everything after the goodbye. You knew you helped Sam with Dean and the pyre, but there were no emotions there. You were numb. Your moves were robotic. Both you and Sam stood by Dean as long as the fire was out. He wanted to get you away from that but you refused to leave. All you could think of while you were standing there, was that there was no one, nor will there be anyone you'll love more than Dean. 

“I love you, Dean. I'll speak to you tomorrow.” You whispered your last goodbye for the day before you turned off the recorder. Every day has become the same to you. You knew that one day you'll see him again and that was all that kept you going. Knowing that Dean was still waiting for you was all you needed to move forward.

Taglist: @jackles010378 @cevansbaby-dove @alternativeprincess94 @deanwinchestersgirl87 @il0vebeingdelulu

[moon-jellie]

Liveblogging from mandatory resume workshop!: I need to be sedated

[cranberrymoons]

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[4ddi3addie2005]

Before I went to bed I saw the Youtube notif that TADC was going to Netflix and it INVADED my dreams so vividly I have not had such an episodic sequential serialized cohesive dream in months it was literally its own chapter its own short story