#i didn't really /volunteer/ my time bc i was just doing my job that i get paid to do lololol

[seekingthestars]

so this funny thing happened at work where they asked me to design programs and award certificates for this Volunteer Appreciation lunch

and i started designing things and i, of course, had a full list of the recipients of the awards bc i had to make the things and i happened to notice that uhhh i was getting an award? wait, my entire creative team was getting awards? but none of us knew about this luncheon that was a week away, so what–

turns out that they had forgotten to invite all six of us, despite the fact that ALL SIX OF US were getting awards and we discovered this bc I WAS MAKING OUR AWARDS i cackled

anyway that's what i'll be doing for like 3+ hrs tomorrow, volunteer luncheon wooo

[cowboyjen68]

Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

[appleflavoredkitkats]

One of you’re latest comments about dream being chronically online and locked in his echo chamber is what my girlfriend and I have been saying since this started.

Dream is my age, maybe a year older, and all the things that make me a functioning adult he’s not gone through. Now I could be wrong I don’t follow any of the DSMP members really anymore, but to my knowledge he never went to college, never worked a small job, or even has done volunteer work outside of charity donations. That stunts your growth as an adult, you lose the valuable perspective college offers by getting to know people outside of your community, small jobs force you to have to make peace with comments made by the general public who may not understand truly how tough what you do is, and volunteer work is beyond valuable.

But even as I mentioned I’ve grown up, moved past the DSMP to new creators and content to watch. It’s honestly sad to see someone my age stuck in 2020, I don’t like the man but I hope he goes and gets help or maybe just lives life a little.

My opinion he needs to volunteer at a municipal animal shelter. Not just donate, hands in the dirt, scrubbing kennels, walking dogs, type volunteer work. It will humble the biggest of egos, bc animals don’t care about fame and the people that work there don’t either.

while i think your final suggestion is pretty good and lowkey funny, i do think your points about college could have been worded better. just because dream didn't go to college and didn't work a small job doesn't mean he became more isolated because of it— attending college is a privilege, and does not always indicate a right of passage for a person to enter adulthood.

your description of a "stunted adult" are LITERALLY the same words you can use to describe tommy. no joke, he too dropped out, and never worked a part-time job (he's constantly joked about this in his new smp). in fact, many of the dsmp members, especially ones less problematic than dream, dropped out. even tubbo, even techno.

and as an anti-capitalist and neurodivergent— i still don't agree with your argument either. i know you spoke highly of college and working mostly for the community you'll meet, but that in on itself isn't a foolproof way either of becoming not a weirdo. there are many awful people out there who went to college and worked many part-time jobs. i also think describing someone to be stunted for not going to college is just wrong outright.

dream is an awful person because he's a shut-in who relies on their echo chamber. that's it

[beatricebidelaire]

With a grand gesture, Officer Luciana stepped off the platform, clunked to the back of the room, and dragged a frightened-looking man out of a folding chair. He was dressed in a rumpled suit with a large rip across the shoulder, and a pair of shiny silver handcuffs.

“But I’m not Count Olaf!” the man cried. “My name is Jacques, and—”

“But lots of people have only one eyebrow,” Jacques cried, “and I have this tattoo as part of my job.”

“I’m not a villain!” Jacques said frantically. “I work for the volunteer—”

Jacques gave the children a grateful smile, but Officer Luciana turned around and clunked over to where the Baudelaires were standing.

“But I’m innocent!” the man on the platform cried. “Please listen to me, I beg of you! I’m not Count Olaf! My name is Jacques!” He turned to the three siblings, who could see he had tears in his eyes. “Oh, Baudelaires,” he said, “I am so relieved to see that you are alive. Your parents—” “That’s enough out of you,” Officer Luciana said, clasping her white-gloved hand over Jacques’s mouth.

J's description in tvv always kills me. "frightened-looking" "frantically" "cried" "tears in his eyes". he was frightened. desperate. in tears. it's just ...... so much. this is the first time the readers see J and it's in one of his worst moments.

in fact, it's not only one of his worse moments. it's also arguably his only on-screen moments. (when i say on-screen, i don't actually mean on screen, i guess, since i'm talking about the books, but you get what i mean). like sure, we get other details later, through occasional mentions/memories/flashbacks from others. we read his letters in tua, and there's the vfd meeting script. but he doesn't directly appear in the sense he appeared in tvv. those really were the only moments. even in atwq he didn't show up.

aside from tvv where he does show up, where he does appear, everywhere else he's more just, talked about / in flashbacks. quigley mentioned him. his siblings mentioned him. widdershins mentioned him. we saw his letters - but not himself directly - in tua. to quigley his this sort of mysterious image, someone who quigley learned some stuff from but also didn't really tell him much directly bc he was busy. in atwq he does not appear, and also wasn't mentioned by ghede when she listed what other apprentices of lemony's era were doing at that time - making him seem even more mysterious.

in his letters we found he and lemony have similar writing styles in some way, he also signs thing "with all due respect". he writes stuff like "i hope that this package reaches you safely, and that you are safe when it reaches you, and that i will be safe in making sure this package will reach you in safety, in a safe manner, and in a safe." or "but we have not been under normal circumstances for quite some time. for instance, currently i am under sixty feet of water, rather than under normal circumstances."

he says "please pass the brandy" in response to lemony's words during the vfd meeting.

he has this .... sort of dry humor of his own. sharp-witted. plays with word usage the way lemony did. he seems mysterious and stays in the shadow a lot, from the way we learned so few things about him in atwq. the atwq profile card of lemony covering his face but jacques in silhouette always gets me.

but then, J - mysterious, ambiguous, lurking in the shadows, quiet, dry-humor - his only, actually appearing physically moment was in tvv: and he was frightened. and frantic. one of his worst moments. and this absolutely kills me. and lemony described all that, too.

[camp-counselor-life]

Ok, so I'm gathering my thoughts about the dues (45 next year & 65 in 2 years for girls, 30 for adults) and this whole thing, and I'm just gonna do bullet points, because it won't be coherent until I'm done:

I am grateful it didn't increase more, because GSUSA was pushing for $85+ for girls and $45 for adults.

I think that GSUSA could have done this differently and more equitably, as well as presented a lot of their facts earlier or in a better way. For example, shortly before the vote for girl, GSUSA's CEO revealed that they would pass significant and required costs down to councils if they didn't get the dues increase (they might still do this bc they didn't get as much as they want).

They also presented the financial assistance to councils as this huge boon of income, but failed to note that 3 million spread over 110 councils isn't a lot, but also that the need for FA is going to increase, not stay the same.

In that vein, I think a lot of councils didn't accurately represent what GSUSA does for councils and girls directly (though a lot of the FB chatter I saw did) to their delegates. Which isn't the delegate's fault at all.

Because of all of this, I like, I don't entirely fault the delegates for voting how they did. I think it was part incompetence & a lil manipulative, but the way everything has gone down with this whole shenanigans has been rushed & messy, and I think that the volunteer delegates did the best that they could. Especially while being livestreamed not only to the 1000 delegates, board members, and staff on the zoom call, but another 1000+ on the YouTube livestream AND they knew they'd probably be disparaged online too. Beyond the next two bullet points, I thought the kids and volunteers did a decent job with what they had.

The most common reason I heard for why we should increase the dues was to show the value of GS. So, in doing this, a lot of delegates outright said, if you don't vote to increase dues, you are saying GS isn't valued like "other organizations."

Saying that we "don't value" Girl Scouts if we don't agree with the increase is a lot of things, and I understand the moment was heated, but like it's kinda rude. And a lot of people said that.

I actually missed the part where GSUSA made their case, but like, I've heard the spiel two other times at work. A lot of what's being offered at the higher levels of funding is stuff that they have been promising for a while, or stuff that's really not super optional. Why it costs as much as it does is another question.

They told us they expect a 12% decrease in membership (this is probs not public knowledge) but none of us really believe that.

Not to stereotype areas of the country, because girls of all levels of affluence/SES live everywhere, but a lot of councils speaking in favor of the increase were larger, more suburban & affluent areas, whereas councils being like, wtf, why would you do that, were much more rural, small, and less affluent areas. One delegate was even like, this is a slap in the face after we just had multiple hurricanes devastate our area.

I saw someone online be like, expenses can be worked around. Ok, maybe in the middle and upper classes, but if your choice is you and your kid joining GS or eating for 2 weeks, what do you think the right choice is there???

GSUSA isn't offering financial assistance to councils for this increase until we hit $65, and they originally said for 5 years, but now it's 4, because it was actually "once we hit $65 and then only until 2030." Gonna be real, we get 0 from GSUSA right now anyway. Because, as I have said, councils pay GSUSA for their members who get scholarships.

Lastly, I saw someone say that GS pays too much if this is the financial situation and like.... I don't know if that was only national or everyone, but I'm gonna say it again: I 100% guarantee that your direct service staff are not being paid too much.

So, overall, am I happy? No, not really. Do I recognize, as a lifetime member with no plans to have children, that this doesn't effect me directly as much as many members? Yes. Will it still effect me as a staff member? Yeah, it will.

But. I do think that Girl Scouts will survive this, in some way. Will it survive in a way that makes me want to participate in 5, 10, 25 year? I'm not sure. Will Girl Scouts always be in my life though?

Yes, I imagine it will.

[halimpark7]

I came through my dress. It was too short and I don't have a 6 pack right now to pad my self-esteem.

I felt embarrassed, fat, ashamed, that I walked around Los Angeles for idk how long, with a cum stain on the back of my dress of where my pussy would sit and spill juices through my panties.

..........

I hide from embarrassment. I'm open about almost everything.

..........

After so many stalkers/surveillance/gang stalking/bullying. I am open with my private life and my public life. it's one in the same. If I'm naked on my phone, I'm naked in other places.

I'm not sure if it's for everyone but I've always been this way. You're less crazy if you don't hide things.

.....

I don't want to do onlyfans, I'm not interested in sex work, I use my body and life to reach my personal and professional goals. Be the best me (my thing of the moment).

I had slut jobs in the past and they only took from me. More money than they gave. It was painful, humiliating. I starved, people laughed at us. I didn't know how to stop being crazy.

I am more humiliated that I couldn't stick up for my friend, that I've never learned how to be a friend.

I am less concerned for myself. I walked around with cum on my dress and I live in a van.

......

I really don't want to go to hell. My childhood was very painful. No one loved me, everyone used everyone. And I had to change who I was if I wanted any money from my parents.

..........

Today, I try to face things with as much of me as I can.

Did I want to eat dinner ? No, but Mike asked me to and gave me money to.

............

It's much easier to "save money" and not do the hard thing of loving yourself.

Neglecting, apathy, depression kitty, they all feel good. It feels comfortable to slowly die.

Don't believe me?.... Let me prove you wrong.

Where are you settling? That's your slow death and you like it, too. It's "comfortable" " easy" "it's what your parents did".

It's programming.

.........

My idea of hell is different than others. I remember like 4 of my past lives. I was tortured and sexually abused in an asylum in one, was a whore in another, a murderer, and a crazy performance artist in my last one.

I don't know if I ever had children. Today, I guess it's a goal of mine. I had to grow up and understand love, first.

I've never understood love.

...........

I've understood lust, I've known flattery, people pleasing, lying, and narcissism. But love, real love, feels different.

It feels like free work. Volunteering for someone or something you care about. Pushing yourself to excel.

If you've never been in love before. It's exhausting to learn. It's feels way better to lie and pretend love someone.

...........

Love,

It's always doing the right thing. Because you only want more good times and good things to come to you and your lover.

It's brushing your teeth and self care bc you want to be clean and so close to him, so close to her. Not about looks, but purity, so endless tantra can exist.

So we can all be there for each other. Providing, loving, fulfilling, Marathon sex.

It's like knowing there's going to be problems, probably a lot of them, but wanting to do anything so you can have your problems with them, rather than no problems, without them.

Money doesn't mean anything next to real love. It just means making it and spending it so you can make him happy.

It's about being so close that you'd wait over 10 years to have sex again, so you could do it with the right person. So you could feel like a virgin, so you could want to always be so connected, begging for him to stick it in. Crying to ride him. Please PLEASE can I fuck your dick. PLEASE. I need it.

I need you more than anything. I don't want anything, anything, anything, without you.

.................

And that's what love feels like. Effort. For someone very specific. Doing anything for that screaming orgasm.

..................

I'm too crazy for anyone else. And I'm mean.

What is the world and all the world's wealth, if you don't have real love?

You just have mosquitoes. Fleas. Parasites.

And when you're uncool or old or poor. No one cares. Not really. "Some friends you are."

......

Whenever I was bad. Abusive. Violent.

My parents didn't figure out how to love. They just stole from their kids, and everyone else they could so they could be "cool" and make money.

I was because I felt the urge to. I couldn't help myself. Something came over me, over my eyes and I was abusive. I was screaming.

Like I was a puppet to my parents black magic. They wanted me to fight with everyone. "I told you she's a burden." "You're crazy!"

I didn't understand that when your parents hate you, it's because they hate themselves.

Child abuse.

It's a treacherous road back to sanity. Gaslighting from childhood is so confusing.

And no one can teach you anything bc you don't trust anyone in order to listen.

You are everyone's enemy and your own biggest hater.

.....

Support me! Cashap-halimpark7 venmo HaLim-Park PayPal hapark7 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[practically-an-x-man]

So... callbacks!

(tagging the friends I've been talking theatre with, just so I don't have to re-type the story a bunch of times: @can-of-pringles @negative-speedforce @sashathedoge @witchy-self-shipper @noodles-07 @kyberinfinitygems)

First of all, incredible pool of talent here. I think at this point it's not about skill, just about which rendition of the character the director likes most. Each actor who auditioned clearly rehearsed and put together their own version of the character, so it's just which version aligns with the director's vision.

^ This is good, I'm glad it's by no means a runaway game and I know whoever gets chosen for the role will do an incredible job, but it also makes me very nervous about if my rendition will make the cut

Singing went well, there was an interesting thing with the lyrics (the videos they gave us had the revival, the printed lyrics they supplied were the original Broadway, apparently I was the only one who chose to prepare the original Broadway lyrics bc I thought the discrepancy was intentional [like they wanted to force us to make our own choices rather than copying the Broadway actor]) but again, everyone clearly prepared, it all went well, I'm feeling good about my choices but it's very tough competition.

Dancing also went well!! I'm very glad I practiced beforehand - for one thing, I was comfortable enough to make character choices rather than having to focus on the technical dancing, and for another, I was comfortable enough to have fun!

That's the thing - I enjoyed these callbacks! The stress didn't get me nearly as much as it normally does, possible because of how much I prepared and possibly because I've worked with the production team before, but I just thoroughly enjoyed every stage of the process and I think it showed. I'm just... all-around excited for this show, whether or not I get cast.

Reading for the sides was mildly disappointing - we were low on time so we only read for one scene, and I was paired with an actor who was a little hard to work off of.

^ But that being said, I feel like that one scene did go pretty well, I think the director could see my choices and the emotion I put into the scene, I think I made the best with what I had available to me.

Both the people who were called back for the Leading Player, at two different moments, quietly said they were rooting for me for Pippin :D One of them said that she expected me to be called back for Pippin after hearing my audition, so apparently I give off at least some vibes for the character?

As with any theatre thing, I try to be encouraging and respectful towards my fellow actors - the production team already knows this, having worked with me before, but I feel it's just as important to the callback as the acting itself. Hell - maybe I'm not the best Pippin, but if I'm the Pippin that's always lifting people up and volunteering to help out, that might give me just enough of a boost to get cast. (That's not why I try to be positive, but it is something I'm aware of when it comes to auditioning. Presence offstage is just as important as presence onstage, and nobody wants to deal with an asshole through 3 months of rehearsals)

I didn't actually get to read for Lewis at all - part of me wants to believe it's because they really saw Pippin in me, but I know it's more likely that it just was getting late and they ran out of time for more scenes.

All in all... I feel like it was one of my best and most prepared callbacks I've had, I'm proud of my effort and my rendition of the character even if it's not the director's choice, though I know at least some of my audition-mates are encouraged that I'll get the role and that feels really nice. It's funny how quickly my intent shifted: when I wasn't called back for the Leading Player, I dove headfirst into playing Pippin instead and I think it showed. I'll still be disappointed if I don't get the role, that's natural, but I trust this director and I know I put in 100% of what I had to offer.

Time for three days of irrational anxiety as I wait for the cast list - I know I did the best I could, but the waiting game is so hard for me. Especially since this is my first real opportunity for a lead role, and the first time I feel like I've really stood a chance against the competition.

[eteisvalssi]

ruisrock report 7.7.2024

i'm now back home from turku and what a weekend it was! here are some of my thoughts:

i was a volunteer at ruisrock. i did two 7,5 hour shifts checking other volunteers in and out of their shifts and it was so much fun! an easy job, i got to enjoy one full day and two partial days of the festival, i got free food on the two days i had a shift and would've gotten free accommodation too if i hadn't had one already. all worth it :)

i did go see artists other than joker out. my favorites were definitely fröbelin palikat and robin! fröbelin palikat is something the main target audience of ruisrock grew up listening to so it was very nostalgic and there were so many people and literally everyone dancing and singing along to children's music. and robin is just robin, an amazing performer and literally everyone knows his songs

even on our day off we could use the volunteer bus and the crew entrance, so we did, and went to teltta straight away to check the situation. my friend wanted to stay there to secure barricade, but i gave my spot to a girl who wanted to only see the first two acts there

we had the joblr meetup! i loved meeting you all, it was so much fun, and i hope to see you all soon <3 next meetup in slovenia during the balkan tour? 👀

the others went to see käärijä but i felt bad for my friend for disappearing for three hours so i went to the tent after pehmoaino and the girl who i mentioned earlier gave me the spot back!

we could hear käärijä a bit from the tent and it was nice to hear how loud the audience was when erika vikman and joost came on stage

next up in the tent was ege zulu, i only knew like two songs but oh my god his performance was so good! he's a rapper and he had like a show with a proper band and dancers. at one point he just started improvising and singing/talking directly to the audience members and giving compliments and he truly knew what part of the audience he had to win over bc yours truly got complimented on 😂

after ege zulu the first rows started filling up from joker out fans

next up was alok and speaking as a person who does study event management i feel like there might have been some misjudgement from ruisrock's part on the timetables, because the two front rows were really not feeling it and it was very awkward. it would've worked better with joker out having performed before, but of course i know nothing about what their reasoning was

the 1,5 hour wait for joker out went by so fast. we were listening to pmmp from the niitty stage and during their most-well-known songs everyone who knew them was singing along. because of that the vibe in the audience was so good even before the gig started

katri norrlin and this other guy from ylex came to introduce them and even at that people were screaming so fucking loud. i read from jodel that one security person went to get second earmuffs bc it was so loud

after they came on stage nace looked me straight in the eyes and waved at me even though i didn't wave at him like ok??

i don't feel like i've ever been at a more high-energy joker out concert than this. the audience was so loud through the whole concert, the tent was full of people and you could see they got so excited by it and went completely crazy themselves

this one was truly for the shippers of the fandom with just everything that happened on that day

i didn't even realize jere and the others were on the side watching the gig before vse kar vem and i only heard about joost also being there after the concert

seagulls had somehow found their way into the tent and one of them got really scared during šta bih ja and flew around for a while before flying backstage

didn't expect sunny side of london or bele sanje to be on the setlist, but i'm definitely not complaining. ssol was just perfect for this gig

i've taken a video of novi val from every single gig and i was kinda sad that they didn't do it this time, but i do also get why they ended with carpe diem

after the gig we went back to the centre of turku and had an afterparty with some mutuals at a grill kiosk <3

i feel like i've forgotten something but idk i'll add some stuff if i do remember what i had in mind. thanks for reading <3

[adainesfroggieboggy]

i want to share my future bad kids bc that i came up with for a fic. i love them dearly. Below the cut bc its so long.

Adaine goes to Fallinel for a while and goes into politics after college, but after quite a few years of working her ass off to fix the country, she leaves because Jawbone’s lycanthropy becomes very difficult for him to live alone. He has Sandra Lynn but they’re both getting old and he’s sick. She comes home for him, takes a job as the divination teacher at Augefort, and settles back into Elmville peacefully. I also think she dates a hell of a lot and I hc pan Adaine. I feel like with immortality, sexuality becomes pretty fluid, and Adaine very much leans into that. When she moves back to Elmville, she puts dating on pause and just teaches and cares for Jawbone (the principal of Augefort).

Fig and Ayda tour together for years. Fig loves playing and she never wants to stop. Not even when in their 30’s, Ayda decides she wants to settle down. They break up pretty amicably and Fig tours for a long time afterwards. She slows down when she hits her 40s and ends up living in Bastion City, still a rock star, but she doesn't tour quite so often or go quite so far, but she never quite stops. She's happy, and pulls tons of chicks when she wants to, but doesn't really date seriously? Even in her 40s, she's so young for an archdevil. Her friends have decades, she has centuries. She lives her young soul life for a long ass time.

Kristen spreads the gospel of Cassandra for a long time. She leaves the party to run the church and just gets too busy to continue the frequent traveling. She gets married and divorced, has a couple kids, and lives in Bastion City. She has a very amicable tradeoff with the kids and shares custody but spends the majority of her time running the church. Her kids are sweet and loved, and so is she. Her life is mundane and easy now, which she learns to really love. She just settles down and learns to channel her chaos. She becomes a very great mom, pastor, and person, doing a lot of volunteer and outreach work, loving the world, her life, and her family. I think she ends up having a very serious long-term relationship but keeps her very separate from her kids. it's a quiet life.

Riz is absolutely an investigative reporter! Murph says this in one of his fireside chats, and I wholeheartedly agree! He leaves the party first because he didn't ever want the adventuring life, he wants the detective, crime-solving part of it. He goes to school and ends up with a law degree (bc he's just cool and would absolutely take lawyer classes to make sure he was able to cite laws) and a really badass job as a reporter, kicking ass and taking names, but with words as his weapon! He stays in Bastion City, makes friends, and just is happy. He doesn't get married or have kids, but he has so much platonic love and familial love! He's so happy and cool and very effective. He likes to enlist Adaine for arcane cases, and she definitely heads over every time and stays over in his apartment and they're super close. He's also super close with fabian, but their lives are so different that it's a different kind of closeness.

Gorgug's life is super chill and simple He doesn't marry Zelda bc they're children, but he does fall head-over-heels for a woman and gets married. He leaves because he suffers a pretty severe head injury, but also because his wife is pregnant! He has a son his parents are so sweet and excited. He's a tinkerer, but also a professor at Augefort! Zac said that Gorgug may help people who are multiclassing, and I like the idea that Jawbone opens a completely new section of the school that focuses specifically on multiclassing, and Gorgug teaches both barbarian and artificer classes! He really chills out and his rage is very rare and almost always in defense of his family. Chill, happy, relaxed Gorgug just vibes with me.

FABIAN! My favorite most hc. He's a dad. He has two daughters and they're his whole entire world. Leaving the party was absolutely not his choice, but he lost his leg in a brutal battle and his body no longer cooperates with the way he needs to move. He's got chronic pain and just can't adventure any longer, so he ends up moving to a seaside town and becoming a stay-at-home dad. At some point during his recovery, his first wife leaves him and the girls and Cathilda moves in. The girls call her their Dida and she's like their other grandma. He's a stay-at-home dad and loves it! He and Aelwyn reconnect as adults and end up getting married now that they're no longer so toxic in each other's lives, and Aelwyn is an absolutely amazing stepmom. She'd never imagined having her own kids, but she loves the girls so much and they're all so happy together. Aelwyn is still a researcher and an abjurative wizard, so he happily stays at home. They might have a mansion in the sky because it's a bit in one of the fireside chats and I love to commit to a bit. They're so cute! Domestic, toxic masculinity is dead, stay-at-home dad and his smart, hot, kind, caring wife.

Also, bonus one, I am so tempted to kill Gilear. A lot of my hcs are based on actual things the cast has said, and Brennan says, "As the person who plays Gilear, I'd like to see him dead in the fucking ground." I am not a Gilear lover, I find him funny and entertaining, but there is something about that sad elf man that makes me wanna kill him. Like if we were in Spyre and I knew Gilear, I might just kill him. Straight up. (Kidding, kidding. I wouldn't kill him, but in a campaign? I'd probably attack him for fun so often bc i wouldn't have Emily at my table.) If he doesn't end up just straight-up dead, he's vice principal. It's much better to have his ex-wife's new boyfriend as his boss for the rest of his sad little life. No happiness for him. I love Emily, I love Fig. Gilear? Dead to me.

[nyx22-blogs]

Imagine Being Ben's Little Sister And Having A Huge Crush On Riley Poole But He Thinks He's Too Old/Nerdy For You So He Never Made A Move And Always Tried To Keep Distance Between You Two

A/N: Yes yes I've thought and dreamt of this ok leave me alone 😭

Warnings: Angstiness but barely, shy Riley bc that is a warning, like the tiniest bit of swearing

Another A/N: Sorry lol I read somewhere (probably not a trustable site-) that Riley was born in the 1970's and since National Treasure was made in 2004 I'm just gonna assume he was born in 1976 and he's 28. Reader would be 20 in this case. 😬

Italicized sentences represent past events/conversations. •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

When your older brother Ben has called wou while you were at work and asked you for help, you were surprised to say the least. I mean you knew where he was and knew what he did but you never thought you'd be treasure hunting as well.

When you did get there you got along really well with everyone else. You always thought it was a shame Ian had gone rogue. He was a good friend to you.

But your favorite part of the entire process was getting to know Riley Poole.

He was so amazing, and a huge asset to the team. And maybe you harbored a gigantic small crush on him. I mean who could blame you? He was so smart, sarcastic, funny, and just so adorable.

Early on Ben had figured out your crush on Riley, he was your big brother after all. He knew you best.

"Wait wait wait, if you like Riley just tell-"

"BEN! SHHH- he might hear you, you ding dong!"

You were quite obvious when it came to having a crush on Riley, even though it wasn't intentional. Abigail knew, Ben knew, unfortunately your dad knew, but you weren't quite sure if Riley knew.

"Dad." Ben said

Where's the party?

Uh, well, uh...

I'm in a little trouble.

Is she pregnant?

Well, if she is are you gonna leave the woman carrying your grandchild standing out in the cold?

You all walked in your dad's house and Riley found his way on the couch while Ben and Abigail headed to the kitchen. Your dad had pulled you to a corner to ask a question.

"What the hell are you, Ben and your boyfriend doing here? And who's that girl?"

"I- he's not my boyfriend dad he's Riley. And that girl is Abigail."

He looked at you as if you were lying, sighed and went back to the living room.

Pointing at Ben your dad had said, "And he dragged you two into this?"

"Literally."

"I volunteered." You smiled widely at that, how dare he sound so cute saying something so basic.

"Well, unvolunteer, before you waste your life."

"Knock it off, Dad." You and Ben said at the same time.

"Sure, sure, I know, I'm the family kook. I have a job, a house, health insurance. At least I had your mother, for however brief a time. At least I had you. What do you have? Him?"

"Dad!" You said, starting to get annoyed. You could see why he was mad, and he had a reason to be. That didn't mean he needed to talk to Riley like that.

You remembered that same night you guys had taken your dad's car and drove off. You felt bad for taking him to the chair but at least he agreed to it..

Ben and Abigail were in the front of the car and you and Riley were in the back.

It took a lot of convincing on your part to assure him that it was ok that the both of you guys laid down together in the back.

"I'm hungry. This car smells weird." He whined sleepily.

You giggled and shushed him. Since he was pretty much laying on top of you, you stroked his nose gently until you saw him fall asleep. As you started to fall asleep yourself you felt his arms tighten slightly around your waist and he nuzzled into you a bit more.

"Hmm, g'night love." He said so quietly you barely even heard it. Those three words were your last thoughts before you fell asleep with Riley in your arms.

This happened two days ago, and currently you, your brother, Abby as she now allowed you to call her, and Riley were taking a break in a pretty field Abby had spotted.

You so desperately wanted to talk to Riley about everything but you were afraid he'd dismiss you. You didn't want to make your friendship with him weird.

You watched as Ben and Abigail walked up to a farther end of the field. Just before they were out of sight you got a text message from Ben.

Tell him now before I kick you. Love you. You got this.

You rolled your eyes affectionately and answered back.

You think he'll say yes?

How the hell would I know? Ask him and you'll find out.

Wow so supportive big bro.

Hey now, he cares for you we all know that. It'll be fine, do it now.

Ok. Love you too.

"Hey.. Riley?"

"Yeah?" He said while typing on his laptop.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Uh- yeah sure." He set his laptop aside and turned to face you. Blue eyes attentive and making you more nervous by the second.

"I uhm- well I wanted to ask- well no I just uhm. I wanted to know if you remembered what you told me when you fell asleep on me in my dad's car."

"Uhm..I was hungry and the car smelled weird? Which it did by the way."

"Well yeah but after..you were telling me goodnight and..."

"And...?"

"And..you called me something.."

"I don't uhm- know what you're talking about."

"RileyIlikeyou." You blurted out.

"I- god I know..I know you like me y/n.."

"So then why didn't you ever-"

"Because y/n look at you. You have your whole life ahead of you ok? You're young and smart and so incredibly beautiful it's ridiculous and I really really like you but you and I don't make sense. Ok you're 20 and I'm pushing 30's right now."

"Riley..I don't care about that."

"Well- I do. What would everyone say?"

"Nobody would say anything Riley."

"I- I want this to work..but I'm scared of what'll happen if it doesn't. I care about you y/n..I don't want to lose you.

"Riley you won't lose me." You scooted closer to him and he wrapped an arm around your waist.

"So..are we- you know." He said

"Well yeah, I guess we should probably everyone know before someone gets a heart attack at possible nicknames or PDA." You said chuckling at that thought.

Riley laughed at that.

"Alright then sweetheart who should we start with?" He said dragging out the new nickname.

"My dad?" You said with a teasing smirk, wiggling your eyebrows at him.

"Y/n no, your dad terrifies me."

"Fine. How about my mom?"

"No-"

"Ben and Abby?"

"Yes, yes let's do that." He said and you smiled.

Your phone buzzed again and you checked it while sitting next to Riley.

See, told you it'd work out. Ding dong.

Shut up Ben.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Was it bad? Maybe. Do I care? Yes. Lol let me know.

@sierraaf11

@captainannamerica

@where-dreamers-go

@howitcanbe

@ashlaieblobfish

@executethyself35

@aceaoki1316

@mackenziestewart2

@why-must-i-be-like-this

@beetears

@donut-rambles

@naturalswifty89

@riley-poole27

@ash-theart-witch

[otrtbs]

Hiii ! I had already asked that question, but I will ask it again because you didn't respond to it last time but at the same time it's harmless (I think), and if you don't respond again then I guess it isn't harmless 😭

I was wondering how you got into art ? Have you ever made art yourself like painting, drawing, and sculpture and decided to study that, or do you really just love art history and never had touched a pen to draw in your life? And how did your family react ?

And another question was were you in school, or work when you were writing AHB (I mean in general when you are writing actually) and if so, how did you find time to write and read? Because as a writer I feel like an important part is to read but when I do write I don't read, and I know that a big part of that is just school and I don't have time, but maybe you got a magic trick or smth?

hi! yeah it is harmless i am just SEVERELY behind on answering asks these days but i am not intentionally ignoring you/anyone. i am just behind on asks, sorry! also i get rambly under the cut so this is a warning!

as far as how i got into art, i used to volunteer at my local art museum when i was in high school!! and during that time i got to talk to a bunch of curators and educators and i was like,,,,, 'yeah. i wanna do this'

i am NOT artistic at all,,, i can't draw or paint to save my life el oh el. i had to take a fine arts course as an undergrad in uni which was fairly rudimentary ,,, just exploring different art mediums,,, color theory,, etc. and i was SO BAD at it,, so. bad. we had to bring in our art projects for critique and i still have nightmares about that...oof.

as far as my family support,,,, also el oh el. uhm,, no one was very thrilled with my life decisions to say the least...but i do not care! it's my life to live! then when my sister went to uni and said she wanted to be a biomedical engineer major n maybe go to med school,, well they put all their attention on her so we move!

also yes!! i was in school while i was writing ahb! i was in my final year of undergrad, i worked full time as a resident assistant at my university and i worked part time at a call center (<- WORST JOB OF MY FUCKING LIFE) and sometimes i would pick up extra shifts at my university's campus store because i was paying my own way through undergrad and so honestly.... the truth is i hardly slept. which is not healthy and i do not recommend that you do that at all. by any means. thankfully, because it was my final year i had some easy "blow off" classes in addition to upper division art history courses so the workload was lighter than previous semesters.

but my RA job would put me "on call" which meant i was the one an entire building of 500+ college girls would call if there was emergency of any kind (could be something serious like a fire or a strange man in the girls dorms or someone needing serious medical attention to something miniscule someone's fire alarm running out of batteries). and we would be on call for 24 hours on the weekends or 5pm to 8 am on weekdays. and if you missed a call because you were asleep you would be fired immediately no questions asked. and bc i got my housing and a lot of my income from that job,,,, i would get so paranoid and stressed abt missing a phone call that i wouldn't sleep at all when i was on call. so i did a lot of my writing for ahb! during those times at like 5am while i was on call. i was also required to work 10-15 hours a week at the front at my university through my RA position and it was a 24 hour desk and i got the night shift where literally nobody would come in. i'd work 10pm-2am on tuesdays and thursdays and then a few hours on saturday (But those were normally busy). and i would write my fanfic then!!! (should've been doing school work ,,, but alas) <- so for the "sHE CoULd'vE aT lEasT EdiTed iT" crowd who have beef with ahb!,,, i was too busy trying to graduate uni and working 3 jobs to do anything but post. so eat dirt.

additionally, i didn't read fanfic when i was writing ahb! for the most part. i was reading a ton before i started writing and then i think i was only able to keep up with the choices updates and picked up heavy fanfic reading again once ahb! was finished.

so no magic tricks from me unfortunately :(( i think it was only feasible bc i was operating on like zero sleep and my course load was light the final semester, and i got lucky with my job hours !! otherwise,, i didn't really do anything else. like i stopped reading, stopped watching shows,, etc,, if i had free time i would be on the google doc hahaha

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek TNG Part 2

Season 1 Ep 8- Season 2 Ep 1

I didn't do a very good job of keeping notes for most of this (and I might not until I'm Actually Watching again vs having it on while I work).

"There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute." More "woke garbage" that conservatives (and shatner) missed the first time around, I guess lmao.

16- Why not just cast actual old people-- oh, it's another de-aging plot. Carry on.

17- Knowing that Frakes had a back injury makes it really easy to spot. Poor guy.

23- ok ffs, if the captain calls down to Engineering, it's because he needs to know something, probably quickly. you don't delay that by giving him your full first, middle initial, last name and title when you answer the phone, you just say "Engineering".

Skipping things and doing them by hand because the _computer_ is too slow?? Are you INSANE?? It's amazing these ships don't blow up more.

RIP Yar. Does everyone just... record themselves saying goodbye to everyone just in case? brb gonna go write a letter then make sure never to update it so the things i say will be weirdly out of context.

25- Data trying to understand jokes and faking laughter is A+, no notes, I totally see why he is the autistic posterchild.

"no logs" except those needed for the narrative I guess.

Still cutting from close-ups to wide angle, from the back, stunt fight shots, huh? Even more jarring in this one with how frequently it cuts back and forth so the old admiral can kick riker in the chin.

And Season 2's opener... I have a few feelings about this one.

1- the captain outing troi's pregnancy to everyone... nice tact, cap. but the hilarious part is that he's like Picard- Counselor Troi is pregnant Riker- no reaction Picard- She's going to have a baby. Riker- :shocked_pikachu: A BABY?! yes, Riker, that's what pregnant means.

I hate pregnancy storylines (and apparently Troi's actress did too, or at least this was listed on IMDB as her least favorite ep)

I do not like the new doctor. Maybe it's bias bc I saw something about how Beverly was removed bc the actress fought against the sexist storyline last season, but she makes a mockery of Data's 'bruised feelings' when he corrects her pronunciation of his name (One is my name, the other is not.) and when he leaves, she has the parting blow of 'Day-ta. Whatever.' like his feelings, his NAME, don't matter to her. There was something else too, but I didn't write it down and now I've forgotten. She's just... grating on me for some reason.

However, the highlight of this episode is Worf volunteering to 'tuck Wesley in at night.' It was a cute scene about making sure that Wesley doesn't feel isolated if he stays onboard without his mom, that he still has people to act as his family aboard, looking out for him and acknowledging that even if he is an acting ensign, he's still a child.

[spiderculechronicals]

Headcanons I either made up or borrowed and tweaked to fit my spidercule AU: food stuff.

Peter 1 has been adulting successfully on his own for about a year, has worked primarily food service jobs through college and also probably volunteered at soup kitchens/food pantry with Aunt May. He can cook, budget, use coupons, and has a meal plan to make sure he gets enough calories within that budget. Working food service jobs with shift meals and befriending people who pay him back with food is part of this meal plan, and he has picked up some restaurant cooking tips and knife skills along the way.

Peter 2 has some basic to moderate cooking skills, he has taken on a caregiver role with both his MJ and aunt May at times, and also MJ wasn't really a homemaker by nature so they learned to cook together a bit in the honeymoon stage bc Peter was of course pretty broke. He can follow recipes and do basic breakfast cooking.

Peter 3 cannot fucking cook. He can scramble eggs, but he definitely just cracks them into the pan and moves them around until they're cooked and then half the time puts too much salt and pepper but eats them anyway. He survives on canned food, frozen meals, and cold sandwiches (or just sandwich ingredients). But mostly he survives on Wade feeding him, and has done for the past 7 years. He is a cheerleader in the kitchen, very appreciative, and tips well at restaurants.

Wade can cook decently well but in a hobby kind of way, because he generally is flush with money and when he isn't he's picky and starving won't kill him (and sometimes doesn't even register as different from the cancer). He eats better when he's taking care of someone else. His specialty is pancakes, of course, and when hyperfocus hits right he can pull off some impressive gourmet cooking for special occasions. However he does have some food icks including steak with too much red juices, so when he and Peter 3 have gone out to eat he'll typically order the chicken strips rather than admit he wants his steak close to well done and no gristle bits please, and he brought his own taco sauce. (Peter 3 gets his medium rare maybe a little on the rare side, and leaves no scraps behind except the bone if there is one which he could eat but won't in public... one time he did eat it at home because Wade wanted to know if he could. Wade found the sound terrifying and kinda sexy but also very unappetizing, and Peter 3 didn't really get much out of eating it either, so he doesn't really do it as a rule.)

(So yes because of super strength all the spideys *can* eat bones. I don't think Peter 1 has attempted it, and Peter 2 probably only has done it during his passed-out-eating-on-auto thing. Where he was also most definitely eating that shit *raw*.)

[broodsys]

kinda just thinking aloud. more that than genuine venting, altho i'm sure it'll sound venty

but i'm just... tired of being acceptable collateral for people getting "back to normal" and living in a """"post covid"""" world

i was always going to be home a lot. i've been disabled my whole life, altho i didn't know that for my whole life. but even with my powerchair, it's like, there are hard limits on what all i can do

and now... ever since covid began, i just- have no life outside. i'm lucky enough to live in a house with a garden so i have somewhere to go that is outside, but aside from shopping, i rly don't leave the house. i used to spend hours at the library just sitting and reading. used to go to coffeeshops. i used to volunteer

now i'm just trying desperately to find a job that won't put me excessively at risk, bc i am really immunocompromised and so many ppl embracing this fantasy of living in a post-covid world just locked the door on my entire life. if i get covid, i'm more likely, even with being vaccinated, to get long covid. and if that happens... well. it won't be good! i'm a big part of what's keeping my increasingly-disabled household together, after all

and it's just exhausting. exhausting to rely on socmed for sm of my social interaction outside of my Complicated (in a bad way) family. exhausting to have to juggle matters of risk v. necessity when considering what jobs to apply for - not that it even matters, bc for all the job searching i've been doing for years, i've gotten nothing

and i can't give up. i just have to keep going and keep trying. but wow am i tired

and ofc i understand. i get the impulse to say we're done with covid. it's terrifying, and a lot of ppl are unwilling to live with that fear. they'll bury it, deny it, reject it, all so they don't have to be scared. it's normal. it's natural. it's wrong and ineffective, too, but i do understand. they don't want to be me! disability is for other people! never them!

and it's not like i have it even closest to the worst. i'm very aware of my privilege in so many regards. but man. sometimes it just sucks and it's hard and i want it to not be this hard. but it's gonna be! it's gonna be. and i'm gonna win. bc that's the only perspective i can have on this, really. i'm gonna win, i'm gonna beat it; not once, not in a moment, but all through my life. every day, multiple times

hope sucks and hope is all there is. and it's not the hands-off thing that some ppl see it as. it's so, so incredibly active and persistent and deliberate.

[starrysmiling]

my theory on jax's parents

i've been sitting on this one for a long while and finally got the push to write this up. i want to write about this in the future, but there's bits here that have got to wait until cube corp releases, so... i'm just going to talk about it while i'm here.

anyway. as we all know, jax seems to be raised by arthur, and neither of them ever mention his parents.

so where. the fuck. are they.

spoiler alert: just between you and me, i think they're dead. not that it's confirmed or anything...

so... let's begin with a preword. the jax in my canon is 22, since unlike ace and the player, he doesn't have a canon-implied age. (this did not stop me from making fern 21.)

this makes him just slightly older than the meteorite strike on crater town, which happened 20 years ago. it's important to note this, because he needs to be alive for his parents to die in the aftermath of the meteorite strike.

whoops. did i just say that?

let's just change tracks for a bit.

arthur is training jax to be the next champion. that's quite obvious from the story, he says it outright, there isn't any question about that. but i think that originally, arthur wanted his own child to succeed him. it's also something to think about if you consider that he stepped down from the champion's seat before the events of the game, which prompts me to think that he wanted a successor before he stepped down, but he couldn't train jax in time bc jax was still too young.

so let's go with that: arthur intended for his child to succeed him as the next champion after he steps down. thus: arthur's child, and one of jax's parents, would likely be a ferociously strong trainer.

i'd like to think that they met someone while they were training or journeying, fell in love, eventually decided to marry them, and have a child. why didn't they decide to become champion? this is just a hc, but considering elias is Still there and the league hasn't found a replacement and arabella is working there because her dad doesn't make money... yeah, i think the league is kinda understaffed. hell, i make fern struggle with his champion duties, but even if arthur is a better fit for the role, being the champion's child means they would be able to see how harsh the role is on arthur. and maybe they don't really want to be the champion just yet, when arthur still can do his job well.

and they're still young, after all. they want to have a bit of fun in their life, journey around as a trainer, raise their kid with lots of care, then maybe go get that champion role once arthur's done his term.

so now, little jax is two years old. the meteorite has just been shattered over valley city, and the residents have been transported back to help clean up the town. volunteers and volunteer pokemon from nearby cities, like dresco town, are called to help with the restoration efforts.

and jax's parents are part of those volunteers, naturally. they're both pokemon trainers, after all.

and here's where it starts going to shit.

remember that two pokemon came down to earth with the meteor? jirachi was sealed away after the residents realised its power, but another pokemon landed a little to the northeast.

and deoxys is powerful. pksp red, one of the strongest trainers, if not the strongest in the series, is almost powerless against deoxys when he first battles it. it takes him a bit of a bond with a rogue mewtwo and several tough battles, some difficult enough to shatter his mentality, to defeat it, and even then, it's an uphill struggle for him.

that's the pokemon that jax's parents find: a ridiculously strong pokemon from outer space that nobody's seen or recorded before. remember, it immediately fights you if you talk to it, so i suppose... they fight. and if they can see the utter destruction that could come out of deoxys's power, there's no way they're letting that pokemon get to the town, where unarmed people are working on clearing the rubble. so they fight, and they fight, but deoxys is strong, and clearly not even two people are a good enough fight against it, and soon their pokemon are worn out and deoxys's attacks are injuring the pair themselves.

they put together a plan. one holds off the strange pokemon from outer space — for the sake of my canon, this is the stronger one, arthur's daughter — and the other runs back to the town to alert the guardian of borrius, who is overseeing the restoration efforts. if anyone can beat this pokemon, it's the legendary aros.

and so jax's father flies back to crater town. he'd been persuaded to go, being more heavily injured by the fight, and desperately searches for aros, explains the situation, and immediately brings him to the crater where they found deoxys.

but it's too late by then.

they find jax's mother, barely conscious and mortally wounded, being fiercely protected by her pokemon who are only barely standing. aros thanks her, and with their combined efforts, barely manage to defeat deoxys and seal it in sleep. jax's father returns to his wife's side, only for her to sigh her last breaths before they can treat her wounds.

aros notices that jax's father's wounds can still be treated, but though aros hurries him back to town... perhaps the loss of his wife weighs too deeply on him, and he doesn't make it.

and jax, still only two years old, is left in the care of his grandfather.

his parents are called heroes — they fought so that crater town would not suffer a second disaster in quick succession, and that's why jax in my canon is so set on being a hero. his admiration for aros is also partly from seeing how he handled the incident, making sure that he didn't take the credit for holding off deoxys and ensuring that people wouldn't forget that jax's parents died in order to keep the town safe.

and, also, aros is basically the local superhero. he's cool as hell. no wonder he's kinda jax's idol.

anyway. i really want to write more about this concept, and there's a scene where i want jax to meet aros and for aros to tell him, properly, about his parents. that'll be the first time that i've ever written jax crying in canonverse, because hearing aros, his idol, apologise to him for not being able to save his parents and recount that they genuinely were heroes in his eyes is a lot to process. (it's also really funny considering that jax hasn't cried in front of fern, but he has cried in front of fern's dad.)

as a way of finishing this arc of jax's life, i really also want to suggest that after fern captures jirachi, jax tags along with him to fight deoxys.

and this fight — this is jax's fight. fern can tell that this jax is different from seeing him stare down deoxys across the crater. there's something twisted about the fact that jax is now facing it with his own partner, twenty years later.

jax, heightened by raw emotion, seems to fall back into his more reckless, daring tactics. he plays fern's hyper-offensive role, actually, and fern plays jax's support, making sure that jax doesn't run himself ragged, following up after his strikes, covering when they're in trouble. it's not like they made a name for themselves as an unstoppable duo for nothing.

the conclusion of this arc is jax's capture of deoxys, after a grueling battle that whittles at his strength and mental state. in a way, earning deoxys's respect, being able to capture it in a ball, and being able to say that he finally, finally defeated the pokemon that killed his parents, is a sort of closure that he probably didn't know he needed.

did you see that, mom, dad?

i beat it. you can rest easy now.

[camelspit]

roisin. roisin please elaborate on bramblestar’s corpse

hiii!

so, i never did finish that arc (I read 3 or 4 books of it and then stopped caring about the releases) and it's been a few years so! might be missing a bit of important info but!

you remember ashfur? squirrelflights ex that tried to kill her children before they were revealed to be leafpools?

ashfur dies (murdered by hollyleaf) and goes to star clan (questionable considering other cats have gone to the dark forest for far lesser crimes and also? squirrelflight and leafpool almost got sent to the dark forest in a shitty trial and done much less than he has?)

bramblestar gets sick (possibly caused by ashfur somehow?)

while losing one of his lives due to the sickness, ashfur somehow possesses him. the mechanics of this were probably explained better later, but I don't know them.

no one knows it's ashfur

he basically starts like. really going down hard with the warrior code, punishing cats for like. nothing. and he ends up banishing like 3/4s of the clan at least.

(this includes squirrelflight and jayfeather and pretty much everyone importanr I think. btw)

he also encourages everyone else to do the same, which ends up really resonating with riverclan.

mistystar kicks out a few cats, including mothwing because she doesn't believe in starclan (even though mothwing has been there for her and saved lives. how many times now? lmao)

anyway all the cats banished sort of form their own group

squirrelflight comes up with a plan like "ok he (still thinking its bramblestar) will regret this if he sees that I'm injured. i'll blame it on a dog or something and come crawling back so I can spy on them or something. mothwing, beat me up" (mothwing does not beat her up bc she says her job is to heal. jayfeather, however, happily volunteers for the role lmao.)

the plan works i think lmao

while this is happening, bramblestars spirit is just kind of. floating around being like wtf.

anyway he finds rootpaw (one of the three main characters of the arc) an apprentice in skyclan

he can see ghosts or whatever because his dad is tree, a former loner who was part of the sisters until they kicked him out for being male. he can also see ghosts (i cant remember if he can also see bramblestar)

that! is about as far as my knowledge goes. i don't actually know how they solve any of this bc i didn't get that far. i do know, however, that everyone knows he's actually ashfur at this point bc squirrelflight realized it and blurted it out at a gathering.

(that was a cliffhanger though so. who knows if they actually believe her lmao)