#i didn't notice i messed up the layers until too late so i just said fuck it

[runaria]

When your sparring partner got hands......

[majeoeje]

Not a second with you is ever a waste

Teru Minamoto x reader

I would gladly face any conseqences just to have your lips on mine a little longer

"I would say you're that you’re not much better seeing your eyebags right now"

He pointed, ironically being the one laying in the school's infirmary

"Ugh,look at yours!"

You shoved him your pocket mirror close enough so that he can take a good look at his face, it took him a few seconds to realize what you meant.

Staying up late was akin to the one and only Teru Minamoto, being a trained exorcist and all. But these past few weeks had been swarming him with task of bothersome spirits, you wondered how he hasn't collapsed yet.

Well...

Until he did

You saw how he slumped while holding documents for the student council, immedietly helping him, thinking nothing of it. Though, too occupied with your few exchange jokes you didn't notice how unstable the steps that he continued to take before you heard a loud thud alongside with papers and documents scattered to the floor

●●●

"You were heavy."

You rolled your eye at him. Teru know you could never be mad at him though in that moment he really can't help but look away, defeated filled with guilt.

"Sorry.. i didn't mean to burden you like that" at first it would sound like an excessive apology for such a simple thing that you were clearly just joking about, but you knew what he meant as he stared intently at your eyebags that mirrors his.

“Don’t mention it.” You said

As you layed your upper body on thighs, avoiding his gaze, perhaps a part of you was embarassed. If it weren’t for his condition right now, he would be elated.

"You've been a great help to me these past months, i shouldn't had dropped my assignment last minute to you like that" he confessed, playing with the strands of your hair.

The anxious Teru, the clingy Teru, the cold Teru, the touchy Teru. You were always surprised with every layer of personality that he shows you, a side that would made you grew jealous if he were to show to anybody else. Yet you can't help to miss every part of him when you are seperated

And to think that you once thought of him as one dimensional.

"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you, and i'll make sure it won't happen again"

Oh he was really serious now? You couldn't help but smile, a mischevious grin laces your lips. How could you turn down such an offer?

"Oh really?" he knows you're messing with him but hey, is it really a bad thing wanting to see you happy even for the sake of his inconvinience

"Yes!" He said eagerly holding your hand

"How about...." you started to think about how could you possibly use this opportunity to the fullest. "You cover me whenever i skip school this whole month? Yeah that sounds good"

The fact that you're asking the student council president for this is crazy really, the horors he would face if people were to find out surely wasn’t something he’s looking forward to

"That's a bit.." he stopped, a facade of his princely attitude seems to glimmer through before he shook his head

He sighed away his discomfort and looked you in the eyes “alright, but just know i’m not joining you anytime soon”

You giggled, an awfully lovely sound that could shift Teru’s moral compass anytime. Sometimes it feels like he’d do anything for the sound of it.

"I was just joking teru" you weren't. " but need i remind you that you did skipped class once you knoww..." you poked his cheek playfully

He was reminded to a fateful day before summer break where he gave into his impulsive thoughts and decided to follow a dumbass to their shenanigans up the rooftop.

"H-hey- i thought we agreed to not bring up that ever again" he grab a hold of your wrist pulling you ever so closely, he couldn't contain his reddening cheeks as he smiled remembering that day.

"The school prince skipped school to make out with someone!?? Gahhh! Such scandal!" Such a scandal it would make indeed if people were to find out his secret heated make out session.

News flash : It was you

"Like you weren’t the one practically BEGGING for me to kiss you” he said, eyeing your lips with a glare that could sent blood rushing to your face anytime of the day

“I don’t recall such blasphemous memories, princess" you crossed your hands, failing to look to away to hide the growing smile on your lips

"You wanna kiss me so bad it’s messing with your head"

"Your majesty, your lowly servant greatly thinks it's the other way around"

you grinned seeing how he eyed your lips with no shame whatsoever this time.

"Hmm..." he seems to think for a second "maybe" before you felt him inching closer, wasting no time.

All you could feel was a pair of lips on your own, a pair of rough hands cupping your face, messing with your hair. The cheap white sheets of the infirmary ruffled to a mess and the smell of sanitizer became amiss as you kissed him back tasting a faint sweet vanilla on his lips.

"Hm.. you used the lip balm i got for you? How sweet" you squished his cheeks with your thumb and index finger making him duck his lips slightly, eyeing the glistened on his lips that you failed to notice until it collided to yours.

"Me or the lip balm?"

He chuckled, he smiled. a smile that never fails to make you grow weak in the knees as he stayed there not shying away from your touch

"Good question...maybe i need to check one more time"

Real smooth

You kissed him first this time, your hands dangled from his shoulder, pulling him close. You could feel how his lips curled into a smile when you did so.

During moments like this you wondered how the heartthrob of kamome gakuen that acted so heartlessly(ironically) to you when you first met came to be this way in your arms.

Moments passed as if it were mere when seconds kissing you. He was greedy. Everytime you gasped and breathed for air he wished to kiss you twice as long.

The disappointment in his eyes was evident when you finally pulled away

Though he stopped as the thoughts that swirled his head from moments before seem to not linger back.

"Is it really alright though...you know...the homework?" he rest his forehead on yours lazily

"Darling, you did mine that one time too remember? I'm just repaying your kindness" you sighed, you don’t understand how he could become so self conscious in every favor you offered.

"But it's different.." he said, disappointedly

"You know you shouldn't feel this way… You mean a lot to me. I hope there comes a day where you can realize that you can fully rely on me without feeling guilty"

The pause that linger in the air seem to grow heavy in each moment, a moment that made you realize how fragile he was.

"I..."

He doesn't know how to respond to that, at least...not yet

"How about you take me on a date to make it up for me"

Hearing that he perked up, giving a gentle smile, a smile one like when you first met him. It covered a lot of secrets

They say human's greatest fear are of the unknown. This smile represent just that. The swirling feeling of uneasiness knowing he has secrets he need to hide from you. yet it continues to enchant you nonetheless

"I'll pick you up at 6"

"Sounds good to me"

(Idk what has gotten into me but my teru phase is coming back fr. Also just short fluff, everyday scenarios🫡🫡)

[ykiwrite]

it's you - minnie

4:16.

"Hey babe" said Minnie as she entered your shared home.

She was late and visibly in a bad mood. You've been together for long enough to be experts at reading each others expressions and you could see she was tired. Rainy weather of the outside didn't go in her favor either. It was Friday after all so that should be considered a plus.

You placed your bets on work. Sure it wasn't easy to be in her shoes. Schedules, practice, interviews, practice, studio and so on. It's a cycle you're pretty sure you would have a hard time with.

As soon as she got rid of her shoes and layers of jackets it was not too long before she stopped midway after dragging herself out of the entrance hallway to see you for the first time since this morning. You were in the kitchen cooking to kill boredom, looking way too occupied, nonetheless beautiful. TV was on playing something not worthy of your attention and knowing you, a person who simply can't function without a background noise it seemed like the best explanation so far. 

"Finally, huh?. They let you guys out." You turned to her rolling your eyes, "Cube really is something else."

…

"What? Don't just stand there, c'mon." 

Gosh, she's so glad to have you. You have no idea. Lifelessly made her way to you somehow due to her exhausted body. Her arms hugged you as she whispered "I missed you", words hitting your neck. 

"Missed you too." Now your hands off of spatula and kitchen counter making their way to wrap around your lovers shoulders.

"Bad day?"

"Yeah, it was shitty," she nuzzled her head deeper into your neck and sighed, "don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Of course, anytime…you know i'll listen. I always do."

Squeezing you even more if that was even possible to the point where you ran out of breath. She looked at you and laughed. It passed onto you until both of you were laughing. As it slowly died down it seemed like the whole world stopped. It was just two of you, holding onto eachother in the middle of the kitchen, rain loudly making itself known on the windows of your home. It was warm. Everything seemed right. She found herself already relaxed, zero thoughts and worries. Although honestly, you were both aware without expressing it outloud how it would be better if it weren't for that stupid TV drama playing through the house no one cares about in this household. 

"I love you."

"I love you too Min. I mean, of course you love me, who wouldn't especially if you take a look at what im making for you right no-"

Your joke was ruined by her shutting you up with a kiss you didn't get this whole day.

You felt her hands finding a way behind your head, playing with your hair until they started pulling you in deeper.

"Minnie" you breathed out. Another kiss and another until you gave her entrance to slip her tongue in, grabbing you by the waist and putting you up on the counter.

"Wait-" you almost forgot about the food and all of the stuff prior leading to this, to her.

She looked up to you, her breath hitting your stomach, her head between your spread legs and hands rested on them as she untied your sweatpants, "What is it?."

Completely lost in the moment you didn't even notice her already on her knees making her way lower and lower. 

With that look in her eyes, her being below you as you looked down upon the figure. A sight well to familiar yet never fails to make you shiver each time. "Well fuck me i guess" you thought to yourself.

"Nothing, just…", you ran your fingers through her black strands messing it up, "aren't you tired? You know you don't have to-"

You felt her hands travelling up dangerously close and you couldn't help but let out a moan as you threw your head back.

"I want to" accompanied by deep, sultry voice of the singer.

Going back to kissing your neck while her fingers started circling around your clit.

"Min, fuck." The feeling of her hand wrapping around your neck whilst the other did wonders brought you back to reality but not completely, never with her. 

"I needed you, this whole day, ever since i left." whispered in your ear as she slipped her fingers in and kissed you. 

Your breaths were getting heavier like your hold on her did, clothes crumpled in your hands. "Minnie please…"

"Tell me what do you want?" She looked at you with disheveled hair, shirt that's threatening to fall off, trying to find a room to catch a breath as she got a thrill out of this and your legs around her attempting to pull her closer but it's impossible.

"More Minnie, please just…fuck"

Who is she to ever deny you? The one who she's so in love with since the first day, the one who makes her day better in a matter of seconds just like this one, the one who makes her feel things she could never imagine.

Her movements were getting faster, in between kisses messier, moans that interrupted every now and then were getting more and more louder and apparent.

"I'm so close, don't stop", you struggled to say.

Her grip on your neck that got stronger, lips exploring your already well known collarbones leaving marks and her fingers moving just right places is all it took for you to slip into wave of pleasure.

Her name was all that could be heard echoing through the walls and she was quite proud.

You were trying to get yourself back together and with her still kissing you it didn't do much help, more of the opposite.

"You okay?" she sincerely asked with worry in her eyes.

"Yeah, i'm fine give me a minute." 

Pecking your lips and fixing your hair she said "Well, you better get it together quickly. Its only Friday, not even that late aaaand we have whole weekend ahead, im not planning to stop here for sure."

"You're so…i hate you."

"Yeah, as if. Anyway, what did you make?" Her head peeking at the half cleaned mess you left and oven still on.

"Its something you love, we actually tried it first time few weeks ago when we went out but this one is homemade. You can turn it off by the way, pretty sure its over." 

She did what was told, took another peek and commented "Ohh, looks amazing. Let's leave it to cool down meanwhileeee…" picking you up and heading straight to the bathroom.

"Minnie wait, what are you doing? I still have things to do, the icing isn't finished, it'll freeze-"

"Okay and? Me or cake?" 

"Cake obviously"

"Liar"

cant believe i started writing this as a total joke while listening to mitski then decided 5 minutes before i go to sleep "yeah lets make fanfic acc and post this"

[julyarchives]

Don't You Hear Me Howling? || (M) || 04

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upsidedown, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader | Kino x Female Reader

→ Genre: Smut; A/B/O AU; Omegaverse; College AU.

→ Words:  2.8K

→ Contains: power dynamics; riding; handjob; some light hate fuck; dirty dirty smut; seriously, this chapter is almost a pwp heheh

→ A/n: We are soo sorry that it took us longer to post this chapter! This week was so rushed that we only had time to write on the weekend, and we got a little caught on a minor writer's block, but it's finally done (we literally are posting just right after we finished) and I hope we did a good job for you guys!

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07

The next morning you woke up feeling refreshed, decided to put all the Changgu history behind you. Kino had texted you while you slept, checking on you and asking if everything went well after he left, which you quickly answered as "it was fine :)". You got up and got yourself ready to start the day. You packed his shirt in a bag and followed your day according to your schedule.

The classes went normal, except for the fact that you were self-conscious about the possibility of any bruises slipping out the collar of your shirt. Though people know you're an Alpha, they won't be surprised and will know what that was about, but still, you didn't want to draw any more attention to yourself.

At the end of the day, you decided to drop off Changgu's shirt. You knocked on the frat's door, but when no one answered you just let yourself in. You tried to call for someone, but got no answer back, so you just followed your way to his bedroom. You planned to just leave the bag on his bed and leave, but when your hand reached for the doorknob you heard voices inside.

You stopped, trying to make out the voices you heard. But even before you could you smelled what was going on. Changgu's signature scent was over the top, even more, alluring than ever and then someone else's. The giggle you heard confirmed it was a girl, she was clearly excited, borderline horny. Of course, he'd be chatting someone up when the house was empty. Part of your brain got super done with his antics, did he purposefully invite her over when the house was empty or was it a coincidence? But then the other, stubborn and stupid, part of you saw red. Yesterday he got you at the same position, somehow convincing you to fuck and he was doing the same with the girl, that was a little too willing from what you heard and smelled.

You acted before you though, opening the door with a bang, seeing them both sitting at the edge of his bed, his arm around her and her face almost into his neck, laughing prettily at him. They both stopped when they heard the door banging against the wall, your imposing angry body language making the girl coil slightly.

"I thought I smelled you, Y/N. Sorry, but I'm a little busy right now", Changgu was smirking at you, his arm tightening around the girl.

"No, you're not", you said with a huff. "She's leaving". The girl looked at you confused and immediately got up and positioned in defiance, arms crossed on her chest.

"Says who?", her eyebrow arched and a playful smile on her lips.

"Me", you said through your teeth, hands turning into a fist, body changing to attack mode as you couldn't stop the loud growl that came from your chest. It resonated loudly and Changgu got up, taking a few steps to position himself almost between you and the girl but more to the side. You saw the girl take a step back and hug herself in defense but she still didn't budge.

"Listen, you better leave", Changgu turned to her with his palms extended to her, but she only raised her eyebrows again, not believing he was making her leave.

"Either she leaves or I'll make her ", you growled again, even stronger this time, body almost trembling in anger.

The girl huffed and grabbed her bag from the floor, staring at Changgu with an outraged expression. He tried to grab her hand but she dodged, walking past you making sure to bump against your shoulder on her way out. You were turning to follow her just because of her attitude of no respect even facing imminent danger but a hand grabbed your arm roughly.

Changgu turned you around harshly and with his other hand, he closed the door. He seemed fuming but you couldn't care less. You tried to yank your arm away from his grip but he didn't let you, instead grabbing you by the shoulders and backing you against the door.

"Are you happy? Coming here to what? Fucking cockblock me?", he shouted.

"That's what you do? Spend your free time hunting around for girls to fuck?", you shoved him backward, using his moment of losing balance to shove him once more but he was quick.

"What does it matter to you?", he said, not even shouting anymore, focusing on regaining his balance and walking back so you couldn't overpower him anymore.

You froze. You didn't know. You had no idea why it bothered you so much and why it got to you so much. The feeling of betrayal and a sparkle of jealousy spurred you to see red and barge into the room. You tried to mask your confusion and your conclusion with a scowl but it was too late. Changgu smirked, watching the emotions clear on your face. Then he looked at the item on your hand, his shirt you clung to so strongly.

"Could it be that the mighty alpha is jealous ?", there was something on his voice you couldn't quite catch. It wasn't mocking he was not joking with you but he was teasing. You noticed when his eyes darkened and he took a step towards you.

"Tell yourself that, Changgu. I'm here to return your shirt, that's all", you also took a step further, meeting him halfway. "If you want her so much I can retrieve her myself", unfortunately, the sentence didn't come out as you wanted. It wasn't menacing or playful. It was laced with anger and jealousy. Just like he said.

"I can see right through you, Y/N", he closed the small space between you. "I know you wanted to be in her place right here", his hands going to your waist, "on my bed", he bit his lip, "again".

“I don’t know what you think, Changgu” you slap his hands away from you, rather strongly. “But I’m not some dumb girl that will fall for your little fuckboy act. In fact. I’m-”

Your sentence was cut short when he grabbed you and kissed you harshly. At the first moment, you cave in, kissed him back as if in a reflex, but when a second thought hit you, you instantly bit his lip. He stepped back and brought a hand to the bleeding spot where your bite hit.

“Seriously?” He chuckled “Is this how you wanna play?”

“Is that how you see this? ” You said, angrily, stepping toward him again “I’m not playing here, Changgu” you palmed your hand on his chest and pushed him, making him fall backward on the mattress “There is no game to play.”

Your heat started acting up as you felt your whole body on fire from the lust that filled the room, mixed with all the anger pent up inside you. You grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pulled, forcing him to expose his neck to you, but the hiss that came from him was not of annoyance.

“Not one you can win anyway,” you whispered, so close to his face that your lips were almost grazing his’.

You let go of him and walked away, but when you tried to open the door he stood behind you and pushed it shut, turning you around to back you up once again, his lips attacking yours. This time you wouldn’t let any part of him believe he had any control. You didn’t stop him, though you pushed him back, forcing him to switch positions, so this time you were pressing him against the way.

“I told you” You nibbled his earlobe “You cannot win” you bit on his neck, your hands holding him in place by the waist now explored inside his shirt “I will always have you my way.” you clawed his toned abs “don’t forget I’m your Alpha. You just can’t help but being just a silly little wolf to me.”

You lowered your hands, palming him through his pants, and chuckled against his skin.

“Look at you, I barely touched you and you're already so hard. You are so desperate for me that you tried to convince yourself that I’m the one running after you.”

You shoved your hand under his layers of clothes and grabbed his member in your hand, lubing it with his pre-cum and moving it languidly. You suck on the skin of his neck, trailing bruises around the area. The gasps escaping him making you feel your own wetness drip.

“I have you wrapped around my finger, and I’ll make sure you don’t forget that again.” You started speeding up your movements “But don’t you dare cum without my permission.”

“Fuck” he murmured under his breath “Fuck, y/n”

“That’s right, Changgu, I want to hear you saying my name”

He repeated, voice shaking.

“I can make you cum in your pants just like a teenager” you chuckled again, pumping his shaft with intensity as he threw his head back in pleasure, barely audible whimpers escaping his lips.

“Y/N, I’m gonna…” he stopped a split second “Can I-”

“You wanna cum?” You asked, using your other hand to grab his hair and make him look at you “Want me to make you cum all over my hands?” he bit his bottom lip and nodded. “I don’t think you deserve it yet”

“Please,” he said in a breathy moan “Please, Y/N, I need to cum”

“I like the way you beg” you sucked on the spot he was biting seconds ago, waning more moans from him

“Please, please, please” He said rapidly, desperate for his release.

You smirked, looking him in the eyes and enjoying his fucked out face, all completely at your mercy.

“Nah” you removed his hand completely from him, to which he gasped loudly in protest “You don’t get to cum until I do”

He growled in frustration, but a raise of your eyebrows was wimpy enough to get him back to his place.

“Take your shirt off” You commanded and he obliged immediately, and you sat on the edge of the bed and watched.

You let him stand there and stare at you in silence

“What will I do with you?” you wondered out loud.

You reached under your dress and took your panties off and he didn’t stray your eyes from you. You spread your legs apart and he took in a deep breath, probably smelling your arousal.

“Kneel” you simply said, and it was enough for him

He rushed in between your legs and wasted no time in licking in between your folds, humming in satisfaction. Your hand immediately grabbed his hair, guiding him to go exactly where you wanted, while the other pulled the hem of your dress up around your waist.

Changgu was desperate, hungrily sucking your clit in between his lips, and you bucked your hips.

“That’s right” you praised him, and he redirected his look at you, eyes filled with lust “Keep going.”

He licked the right spot on you and you let yourself fall backward, pulling his hair so he followed your motion, not breaking contact any second. He hooked his arms around your legs and you took the opportunity to steady him and fuck his face, chin now all smeared with your juices.

Your moans became louder and so did his hums, sending vibrations down your core, and your high hit you strongly, making your legs shake uncontrollably. You didn’t stop until you completely rode off your orgasm. When you released Changgu’s hair he stood up, eyes still not leaving you, and cleaned around his lips with the back of his hand, and you admired him lick it clean.

You stood up, then, and watched his chest rise up and down fast, the tent in his pants now more prominent than ever, and the feeling of complete satisfaction made you proud of yourself. You walked closer towards him, and he didn’t dare move. You reached to his face and grabbed his chin, unhurriedly pulling his face closer to yours. His gaze traveled from your eyes to your lips back and forth, and the smirk on your face was almost permanent.

“Okay, bye.” You walked away confidently, not bothering to look back.

You exited his room and made your way towards the exit, hearing his surprised “what” behind you.

As you were close to the front door, you heard firm steps chasing you.

He grabbed your arm just like he did before, this time you didn’t fight back, just to enjoy the desperate look on his face.

“I’m not gonna let you leave like that” He growled

You scoffed.

“I know you don’t wanna leave.”

“Try again, Changgu.” You turned around to continue your way, but he didn’t lose his grip

“I don’t want you to leave.” he pleaded, the distress in his voice so evident.

You stopped in your tracks and he let go of you. You turned back to face him and saw his smoldering eyes staring intensely at you.

“I’m listening.” you crossed your arms in front of your chest.”

“I need-” he thought his words through “Please.”

You stared him up and down quietly.

“Fine” you finally said “Sit” you motioned towards the couch with your head.

He obediently followed your instruction, and you took your time approaching him. You stood in between his legs and grazed your nail down the defined line of his abs, making your way towards his pants and hooking a finger under the elastic of his underwear. You didn’t have to say a word for him to understand your order, and lift his hips to push his pants down.

You finally straddled him, your hands cupped his face to pull him in for a kiss. He embraced you, strong arms flushing you against his chest, and moaned against your lips. You sway your hips down, feeling his cock rubbing against your swollen clit.

“Please, Y/N” He broke the kiss “I need to be inside you.”

“You’re so obedient today,” You said “I just love seeing you beg.”

“Please, Y/N” he repeated “Please, let me cum”

You laughed amusedly.

“So desperate for me, wolfie.”

You kneel up to quickly align your entrance and just sat down at once, getting him by surprise and making him moan loudly. You didn’t give him time to get used to your pussy around him, you just bounced on him at your own speed, and he couldn’t help but moan uncontrollably. He held your waist, fingers pressing harshly against your skin, and you held yourself on the back of the couch, nails slightly ripping the fabric.

“You just love this, don’t you?” You said, the grin still plastered on your face “getting fucked here so anyone that walks in can see how I make you lose your mind?”

Changgu didn’t answer, bucking his hips up instead, getting deeper inside you. His hair was all messy, skin glistening with sweat, pink swollen lips hanging open and heavenly sounds vibrating on his throat.

“I told you” you moved faster, the sound of skin hitting skin echoing in the living room “You will never forget your place again.”

He threw his head back, noises coming out of him without his control

“Y/N, I need to cum.” he pleaded “Please, I need to cum so bad”

You didn’t answer him, choosing instead to adjust your angle so you could rub your clit against his pelvis, chasing after your own release, his bare chest now rubbing against the fabric of your dress, who suddenly felt too hot.

“Hold it.” You ordered. “ Take off my dress. And don’t rip anything this time.”

He hurriedly followed your instructions and leaned towards you, capturing your nipple in between his lips and swirling his tongue around you. You were hitting your high for the second time, your walls tightening around him and moaning loudly.

“Y/N. Please, I can’t hold it anymore.” he pleaded, and you just love to see him looking like such a mess for you.

Still riding your orgasm, you nodded and he growled loudly, thrusting up faster and stronger, spilling himself inside you, making a big mess between your hips. He buried his face on your neck and you held him close, movements slowing down and noises becoming just heavy breaths until everything stopped.

He leaned back on the couch, still holding you close, and this time you buried your face on his skin, taking a deep breath and allowing yourself to get intoxicated in his scent just for a moment.

The moment ended and you got up, trying to fix yourself as good as possible, and changgu dressed up in his pants again.

“Don’t forget to clean this mess”

It was the last thing you said before turning on your heels and leaving, this time no one stopped you.

[agentsoftie]

Sleepless Nights ( S.R )

summary: Reid and Y/N aren’t the most fond of each other. So what happens when they can’t sleep, have to share a bed, and be married.

pairing: Spencer Reid and female reader

a/n: AHH okay so here it is! It’s my first au so it’s probably not the best. But big thanks to @anepiphany! Ani baby none of this would be happening without you! Thank you for you tips and making me not go insane! Also pls tell me if I slept something wrong cuz like, your girl not the best when it comes to it. Also there will def be a loophole somewhere in my case and if you find one, just let it slide because life is filled with loopholes ❤️ also this is gonna be a two parter!

warnings: mentions of a case, little angst (like the smallest amount), fluff really though

remember to like and reblog!!

You were always the type of person that got along with everyone. And by everyone you meant everyone. You were a people pleaser, always changing your personality for someone. To the security guard, you were a sports junkie, always catching the latest games. To the guy who worked at the bookshop, you were the classical girl. And to the barista, you were the girl who was always late but always paid 3 dollars extra tip. But Dr. Spencer Reid was the only exception. 6’1 and standing tall. Mr. Eidetic Memory and 187 IQ but oh God how you cared for him. You loved him, you loved him more than all the moons in the galaxy. But him? He hated you, so naturally, you hated him too. As the saying goes, if you can't beat them, join them.

“Guys we got a new case,” Garcia says.

You walked into the room and sat to the seat closest to the front where Garcia would be since she was your best friend. Ironically that was the seat farthest from Reid.

“Okay, so this is Mira Normen and her husband John Normen. They had gotten married 2 months prior to their deaths. Mira was 25 years old and she was a teacher at the local middle school. John was 26 and he ran a local pet grooming business. As you can see, but not me for obvious reasons, they were both stabbed once in their chest and then once in their thigh. Mira was shot once in the heart and once in the head and John was shot twice in the heart and twice in the throat. The M.E. found a ring stuffed into both of their throats. And not the cheap kind, I mean a year's worth of salary for one of us.”

“Okay, so this guy’s rich,” You said.

“Yeah, no shit sherlock,” Reid said.

“Guys,” Hotch said in a stern voice “Garcia do we know anything else?”

“Yes actually. They were both last spotted at an event for rich people. So like something Rossi would go to.” She said, chuckling at the last part.

“You and I both know very well that I do not go to those kinds of events. I stay at home for god sakes.” Rossi says causing you and a couple of other people to chuckle.

“Why does this case sound so familiar?” JJ asks, breaking the chuckles.

“Well there was a case exactly like this a couple of years back if my memory is correct, which it always is. We tried to solve it but we just couldn't so it ended up as a cold case.” Reid said.

“And everythings the same?” JJ asked.

“Yep, everything. Well except the city.” Reid said.

“Great, well i think we got everything. Wheels up in 30.” Hotch says while getting up.

-------

You sat alone, like always. At first everyone was concerned, like they had done something, but they then soon realized that you just liked to be alone and this was really the only time.

“Okay, so I checked if anyone had moved in the years and I have 5 names. Thomas Maddison, Stephanie June, Eliza Honeycutt, Devi Paradise, and Klaus Hiller. And only one moved to our little town and that would be Miss Eliza Honeycutt.” Garcia said.

“Can you ch-” Morgan was saying but got cut off when she said

“Already did ‘Hot Chocolate’. Miss Eliza moved a total of 3 months after the case. Looks like it was due to a messy divorce. Her and Mr. Maddison had not been going strong for the last couple of months and it looks like they decided to call quits just before you guys came to town.”

“Can you-” Morgan started to say but then was again cut off by Garcia.

“Already got you babes. The address should be sent to your tablets.” Everyone was still looking at her, “that means look at your tablets.” She says while gesturing her hands making them look down.

“We got it babygirl,” Morgan said without being interrupted.

“Great! Now, this is the time I leave and let you amazing little people do your jobs!” And with that, she was out and so were you.

-------

It was 10 pm when you got to the hotel. You weren't exhausted but you definitely were not in the mood to solve a murder or multiple in this case. You all had checked in now was your favorite time of all choosing rooms. You never bunked with anyone unless Garcia, but that's if she ever came on a case. Emily and JJ were already gone, same with Hotch and Rossi. You were about to grab the key for the single room but Morgan got it before you.

“Sorry hot stuff, I need room alone this time.”

“What!? Why!?”

“I don't need to explain myself to you Y/N,” Moran says, and just like that he was gone.

You and Reid grabbed the keys without looking at each other and walked in the elevator. You both did not make any eye contact until you got into the room. There was only one bed. You immediately called room service but they said that there were no more rooms available so you two were stuck with that one.

“Okay, which one of us is gonna sleep on the floor?” you heard Reid say.

“Excuse me,?”

“You heard me.”

“Oh stop being such a baby Reid. We both know that if you don't sleep on a bed or something remotely similar you get all grumpy and get headaches all day. And if I don't sleep on a bed or something similar I get high on caffeine and get paranoid. So for the sake of the team, we are gonna sleep on the goddamn bed together!”

He didn't know you paid attention to him like that. Sure everyone knew that he would get grumpy, but headaches? No one, not even JJ. He didn't like to tell people about them fearing of being babied around even more than he already is. Although he did know that whenever you don't get enough sleep not only do you high on caffeine, but you have nightmares. You never told anyone except Garcia of course. He’d realized that you had nightmares after a group holiday to Rossi’s beach house, he heard you talking in your sleep and there were not good things being said.

“Okay geez fine whatever. Are you gonna go shower first, or am I”

“Me obviously,” you say while getting your clothes.

The water was hot when you got in, just how you like it. You started to soak your hair in the water needing to cool down a little and prepare yourself for the days ahead of you. All you could think about was sharing the same bed with him. With the guy, you're in love with but doesn’t know. And will never know.

After 30 minutes you got out of the shower and changed. You wore a pair of shorts and a loose flowy t-shirt which you had knotted after putting it on because it was too big. After you brushed your teeth, did your skincare, and brushed your hair.

“Finally, how long does it take?” You heard Reid say while you were walking out of the bathroom. He didn't look up until you sat on the bed turning the tv on.

“It takes 40 minutes Reid, it always takes 40 minutes. But you would never know because you've never had a girl stay over,”

“Oh, you're so funny aren't you,” he says in an annoyed way.

“Yeah, I am.” You said smirking while looking up expecting to see him annoyed but instead greeted with a small smile which was then washed away quickly by the sound of his voice.

“Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower now. Don't wait up.”

“ I won't, don't worry.” You say while he goes into the bathroom. You swear you saw him smile. It may have been small but it was there.

-------

“You waited for me.” You hear while turning off the tv. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. His hair was an absolute mess, and you could tell that he had to take a shower in not the hottest water.

“Ha, yeah no. You took like 10 minutes, did you think I was gonna fall asleep in 10 minutes.”

“Yeah well, that's what happens when you take up most of the hot water.”

“I'm sorry, you should have gone in the shower first.”

“You wanted to go into the shower first!”

“Okay and? Look, can we just go to bed or something? We have a long ass day ahead of us.”

You felt the bed dip and got chills all over. He didn't seem to notice, thankfully. You were cold, but not cold enough to want to layer up. You looked over and the time and it read 11:15. You tried to sleep, but you just couldn't. So again you looked over and read 11:39, and then it was 12:06. You felt like you were going insane.

“Why are you still up?” Reid said in a raspy voice while turning over to face you.

“Huh? Oh, um, I couldn't, can't sleep.”

“Ugh, fine come here.”

“What?” Before you could say anything he had wrapped his arm around you and forced you to nuzzle up against his chest. It actually felt pretty nice. You felt like you were on top of the world and that everything was going to be okay. You put your arm on him after processing what was happening. He then pulled you in closer and when you looked up at him you realized that he was knocked out, gone like a light in one of those horror movies. And before you realized it you were out too.

-------

“Y/L/N wake up,” is all you hear. The sun was barely out yet, so naturally, you just wanted to go back asleep.

“5 more minutes”

“Fine.” Although he didn't want to say anything or admit in this case. This was the best sleep that he’d gotten in a while. At first, he thought it was because of the way he slept but he then quickly realized that it was because of you. With your legs intertwined with his, one of your arms on his chest and the other in his hand. Your hair, so messy, yet so perfect at the same time and he would give anything to fall back asleep with you. He was in love. He was in love and was falling, falling harder than ever.

“Y/N, come on it's been 10 minutes. We need to go, get up.”

“What? Oh. Wait, fuck, what time is it?” You say in your very raspy yet airy morning voice.

“6:13, now we have to get ready or we will be late.”

You didn't want to get up, you really didn't. You wanted this moment to never end, but sadly time was not on your side for this one. “We never speak of last night, got it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Its agent.”

-------

“Miss Honeycutt, hi I’m Agent Y/L/N,” You say while sitting down for the interrogation.

“Hi yeah, why am I here?”

“Oh, no one’s told you yet?’

“Well yes the people who rudely (italicize) came into my home said something but I wasn’t really listening.”

“Oh okay then. You're here as a suspect for multiple murders.” Her face was in total and utter shock. “There has been a murder recently that connects to a murder that took place back a couple of years ago. You lived there when it had happened and then you moved. And now you’re here because a murder played out exactly that same way as the one that took place in the past.”

“Look, I have a valid reason for moving-”

“Divorce I know.”

“Yes, well you don’t know the reason.”

“Oh, and what would that be?”

“I was cheating on him, Thomas. He found out and then immediately filed for divorce.”

“Huh, is that so. Well, you kno-” You were cut off by the sound of the one and the only doctor himself.

“Y/L/N can I please speak to you.”

“Um yeah.” You walk outside of the interrogation room to face him. “What is it?”

“I don't think she did it. The way she’s reacting to all of this is way too natural to fake and she still hasn't called for a lawyer to be present. Normally in these types of situations the un-sub mostly always calls for a lawyer or anyone in that case.”

“I know, I know, I know. But she mentioned an ex-husband that could help us with this case.”

“So what you're just gonna “interrogate” her until she starts to talk about her former husband, or just talk about that and only that as a whole?”

“Yes, precisely.”

“You amaze me Y/N,” this was the first time he said your name in conversation naturally and not because he was forced to for an undercover assignment and shit. Well except for this morning but you can't decide if that was a small little fever dream or actual life so it doesn't count.

“And I you Spencer.” He noticed, oh he noticed and his heart practically burst from his chest because of the serotonin he got when you said his name. It was like every time you said his name an angel got its wings.

-------

“Hey Garcia, could you dig a little deeper on our little Thomas Maddison?” You ask her.

“Of course pumpkin. Okay so here's what I got. Thomas Maddison born May 30th leaving him to be a Gemini and you know how I feel about those. He moved from our fun little town too, well, um,-” was what she said before being cut off by Emily.

“What do you mean by ‘um’ Garcia?” She said with a puzzled expression.

“Well, ‘um’ means he disappeared from the face of Earth. Completely gone. No new dental records, no new home, I mean, not even a simple receipt. It’s like he just clicked ‘erase all’ after the divorce.”

“Is that even possible?” I ask.

“Well yes, but you have to literally become a new person for that to happen.”

“Garcia look into anything in his life that could possibly lead him to have hundreds of thousands of dollars,” Reid said.

“Okay, so it says here in one article that he owned a local jewelry store that got burned down around that time of the divorce. The local paper wrote it off as an accident but everyone thought he wanted to skip town after the divorce so he would just take all of the insurance money. Which I guess is kind of true. Um but anyway, yeah that’s really the only explanation. His parents didn't leave him that much money in the will, and he wasn't a drug dealer.”

“Okay, thanks hun! You've been of more help then you know. Call Hotch and everyone else in. I think we got the profile.” You said before ending the call.

* literally 5 or 6 minutes later *

“Okay, so the guy we’re looking for is very popular with the people. He always tries to make everything about himself. Your classic narcissist.” Hotch starts off with.

“This guy hates love though. He never brings up the topic and hates it when people bring it up. And although he hates love, he looks like the guy who could pick anyone he wanted, although he relatively picks on younger women.” JJ adds.

“Yes, and this guy is going to be a white caucasian male. Most likely in his late 20 or early 30s. And he is going to have wealth and will show it off as often as he can.” Emily says.

“Any questions” you heard Hotch ask.

“There’s an event tomorrow just like the one that Mira and John attended. Will he be there? And if so, do you think he will attack again? And if yes then what will do?” You see an officer asking.

“Well yes, we heard of that and already planned everything out. Tomorrow night Agent Y/L/N and DR.Reid will be attending the event.” Rossi said.

You were in complete shock, and frankly so was Reid. You guys never agreed to this, and as much as I love black tie events, they aren't really my cup of tea when there can possibly be a serial killer there. Not to mention the guy I fucking love more than anyone in the world would be there, with me (italicize). Like now I have to look badass and sexy (italicize) at the same time, although that wouldn't be that hard you thought to yourself.

“Guys, can Reid and I please talk to you all in private.” You give Rossi and Hotch very unobvious yet obvious death stares.

“Yeah, now please.” He says.

* again like 2 or 3 minutes later *

“Um hello, last time I never agreed to this and by the look on Reid’s face, neither did he.”

“Y/N you heard, our unsub likes younger women,” Derek says,

“Okay well then just send in Emily, or JJ, or both in that case.” You say in an angry tone.

“Oh baby, you think we're young? Were flattered but no. Sadly out of all of us, you look the youngest, and are the youngest.” JJ says while laughing along with Emily.

“And for you Reid, you out of most people should know that the murders happened between young lovers who got married. And Derek doesn’t call you pretty boy for nothing. Rossi says following JJs statement.

“We really aren't getting out of this one huh?” He asks.

“No. Now it's late so I want you all to get a good night's rest and be ready tomorrow. Reid and Y/L/N you guys can sleep in a little but you'll have to be ready by 4:30.” Hotch says. And with that, everyone goes back to their rooms.

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once” – John Green, The Fault in our Stars

Part two coming tomorrow!

[elriel-oblivion]

So it's been four days so here's part two 😁 Just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who read/liked/commented/reblogged the last part! It was such an amazing response, especially given it was my first time posting my writing here, so thanks for all the love you shared 🥰🥰

Heads up, this part is actually part one from Elain's pov. Initially I wanted to continue from where the last part left off in Elain's pov, but as I was writing the background, I realised I'd written too much to just skip when Az gets to the estate and cut straight into a continuation of part one, so I ended up rewriting the whole thing in her view. So there's no new elriel moments, but you'll get a lot of new stuff anyway 😅 I would've said you don't have to read this part to understand part three, but when I was rereading the later parts a few hours ago, I realised there's some stuff that alludes to things in this part, so I strongly recommend you don't skip this 😅😅

Also, wow, some of my fave paragraphs I've ever written are in this part 😁 Bonus points if you can find them; there are four I'm thinking of in particular 😉

Word count: ~ 3.1K. Lemme know if you'd like to be tagged/removed 😊 Next part up in two or three days 😊

AO3

Ashes from the Deep

Part II

__

It had been a pretty uneventful day as Elain worked through her new plant textbook. Feyre and Rhysand had decided to spend the weekend away at the mountain cabin, Cassian and Nesta were away doing things she wished not to think of, and Mor was at the Winter Court.

Amren had only been round in the mornings, probably to check Elain was still alive. She'd glance round the living room, examine some of those fine crystal glasses in the display cabinet and then leave. There was no difference today, though Elain always felt Amren's scrutiny upon her even when that muted silver gaze was directed elsewhere; perusing Rhys' wine collection had become a tired ruse.

So besides preparing and taking her meals with Nuala and Cerridwen, Elain had spent her afternoon with her book, making notes and copying drawings. The twins had gone off on some errands, so she'd wandered into the garden at some point to tend to her many plants, telling them how lovely they each were. The crocuses looked particularly stunning this autumn day, their pale violet colour breathing life into the shades beneath some of the trees.

With her book, she'd identified new weeds, digging into the soil to rip some pesky ones out. Sometimes she didn't want the help of a tool; sometimes she needed to feel those roots on her bare skin.

Harvesting the carrots and beetroot was also on the agenda today, along with seeding for some spectacular displays next year. She'd been collecting the seeds from some of her summer blooms, like those soft clouds of baby's breath, saving them to replant. These she sowed directly into ground she'd prepared days before, her fingers digging into the crumbly clumps of earth.

Autumn onions she'd plant tomorrow, perhaps. Feyre always remarked on how their strong taste complimented meats well, so Elain wanted to harvest some fresh for her sister for once. It'd take a few months of waiting, but there was little else better than picking out and eating food one had grown with their bare hands and the essential ingredients of love and care.

Setting her book on the patio table, Elain surveyed the garden. It was a good day's work. Plants watered and sown, weeds uprooted, and hands sweaty and soiled, Elain was proud of what she'd achieved today. There were no distractions, nothing to take her from the one thing she always found satisfaction in.

After a long shower, she found herself back in the garden with a cup of tea and a blanket. The sunset washed the sky in a blaze of red and orange glory before it yielded to the cool tones of twilight then night. Elain sat in silence, hands wrapped around her mug. How long would it be until someone's arms were wrapped around her, until she felt the warmth her sisters finally had?

Silly, these thoughts. Immortality stretched far ahead, there would be time to develop that companionship. Months and years were but a heartbeat in the life of a High Fae. She wouldn't even notice the years pass.

Or so everybody else kept saying.

With her tea finished, she perused the book of recipes she'd borrowed from Nuala. Some recipes jumped out, ingredients for which she'd been growing for a few months now. Pumpkin pie sounded especially delightful, the gourd having almost darkened and hardened to ripe quality just a couple days ago. They should be ready for harvest tomorrow.

A chill wind sent Elain inside to prepare and have her dinner in pleasant silence. Even her mind was quiet tonight. After washing her dishes, she stood by a bay window, fingers idly tapping the windowsill.

Faelights bobbed like tiny lamps, dotted through the garden. The full moon was now high in the sky, its ghostly glow illuminating the datura flowers she'd seeded half a year ago. She pulled on her blanket and went out again for a better look at those gorgeous blooms, the petals opening only at night.

Elain couldn't be happier she'd found seeds of a triple-flowered variety. They'd grown to produce large trumpets, three layers of petals ruffled against each other. Somehow she thought of her sisters as she crouched and stared at the flowers, each layer so similar, yet fighting for space and breath as it unfurled before another. It was only when they were all fully open that they could sigh along the night breeze as one, an ethereal song of togetherness, tinged with notes of poignancy, only heard by those with the will to look deeper.

The white petals were stained with velvet violet, a true vision in her garden. While the others had given her passing compliments on the flowers, Azriel had seemed stunned the first time he saw them, citing them his favourite of all the plants Elain had grown so far. Something about their shape and contrasting colours, he'd mentioned.

She smiled fondly at the memory, where his eyes sparkled as he reached for one of the soft petals.

Her hand lashed out to grab his wrist. 'Don't touch them; the leaves and stems are highly poisonous.'

His brows rose. 'You wouldn't think that at first sight. But they're beautiful, Elain. Truly magnificent,' he said, his smooth voice so low, a voice that was night given sound. And how befitting, as even those datura flowers seemed enraptured by his presence, one shy petal finally unfurling towards him.

She beamed at him. 'They like you. Flowers like it when you talk to and compliment them - but these ones haven't given me the same reaction as they have to you. I think they really like you, Azriel.'

His answering smile was heartbreakingly tender.

A few more seconds passed before she realised she still held his wrist. She silently let go.

It was a shame she'd have to dig out the datura shrub and move it inside for the winter; it did look magnificent in the moonlight.

The sky shifted past its midnight velvet, and still Elain crouched, admiring the flowers. She shivered in the night's chill. The stars above twinkled and glistened, cold and distant as ever, yet stunning - infinitely more striking than they'd ever been when she was human. A thousand different colours sparkled in that vast expanse, the moon a phosphorescent queen in the centre of her court.

The Night Court truly lived up to its name in the wee hours of the day. Its opulence never failed to mesmerise her; the enhanced Fae eyesight was at least one thing she was grateful for from this body.

Her eyelids became heavy and she yawned. Why was she still out here? It was late into the night; she should be in bed by now. But the night was so beautiful and it was so quiet and she wanted to appreciate it all just once. Just once without the expectations of others, without having to wear that miserable smile all the time.

Of course, it didn't look miserable, which is probably why almost nobody ever bothered to look deeper into Elain. She should be used to it by now, but it still felt - wrong. That most overlooked her so long as she wore a smile. That most didn't think her capable of feeling the utter bitterness and loneliness she had once seen so plain on her sisters' faces.

And in acknowledgement of her sisters' hardships, Elain didn't fault them for not looking, for not seeing her. To see past the thick blanket of darkness in one's own mind was a trial in itself. But it had been years since the war now. And still they didn't notice.

They didn't notice that Elain was being shredded from the inside out.

It was almost laughable. But not funny enough.

No, it was not funny that people still treated Elain like a child, that people wanted to keep Elain in some weird impasse of a stage between child and adult. She'd thought finally carrying out her duty and giving her hand in marriage would show everyone that she was growing up: Elain Archeron, middle born but first married. Of course it was still on her own terms, to a man whom she'd loved. A man who'd seen her through the rubble of her family's lives. But she'd overall hoped doing what was expected of her would be enough.

Clearly not. She didn't even know who she was any more. Did she ever? Everything she'd once yearned for, gone. That fragile human life would soon be just a speck on the horizon of her past.

She sighed. Rebuilding herself was going to take a long time.

But what would she have to do for people to see her, to listen to her? Throw a rage? Fall into a drunken stupor and break a few dozen bottles?

She definitely could, but those were not her. She was Elain Archeron. And so she would wait. Patience wasn't a bad thing at all; she saw it on the shadowsinger's face all the time, that tranquility and calmness she so wished to feel inside.

Azriel. Her heart softened as he entered her mind again, and she dug her fingers into the soil, if only to occupy her fidgety hands. As sure as the chaos of her visions these days, there was a mess of butterflies related to him she wasn't willing to show. Or understand.

Elain and the spymaster? Now that was laughable. Truly laughable. He was wise and patient, while she - well, everyone already thought her a child, and though he listened like no other around her, surely even he couldn't glimpse the adult she so desperately wanted everyone to see.

No, it was foolish to entertain the idea of a relationship with him. No matter how much he saw.

No matter that he was the first to see her since Graysen.

Elain exhaled. She stifled another yawn, smoothing out the soil, then brushed her hands clean. She wrapped the blanket closer around herself and stood. Twinkling stars and velvety darkness and -

There, a knot of shadows materialising at the far edge of the garden, collecting and swirling into a larger mass before Azriel himself stepped out and sagged against a tree. His shadows whirled and obscured him, a dark fire with him burning at the core.

Elain's voice left her throat before she even thought to call him and she ran over to his figure slumped in the dimness.

She couldn't help but say his name again as she neared. 'Azriel!'

Those beautiful hands fiddled with a Siphon, but he looked even worse up close. Fatigue dragged at his body, a second weight to all the muscle and armour he already had to carry. Sweat and dirt clung to him, his hair. At least the shadows were parting, swallowing each other and misting away as they often did around her. Perhaps she should ask someday why they did that. But not today, not when his breathing was so laboured.

She raised a hand - to do what, she had no idea. She couldn't just touch him right now. 'You don't look okay.'

Something else limned his features as he huffed a light laugh and said, 'I'm fine, don't worry.' His voice was raw, so starkly different to its usual icy smoothness. It was common for him to guard his emotions, but in his state, this kind of thinking was just unhealthy. What would it take for him to be honest with her?

'You don't have to pretend with me, Azriel,' she said, lowering her hand. She studied the ground, embarrassed that she'd come up to him. What could she even offer in her pathetic childlike state when he was so clearly affected by his mission right now?

His hand rose. Her heart faltered, she had to do something, and she blurted, 'Can I wash your hair, please?'

His eyes widened, his entire composure crumbling. It wasn't often that the shadowsinger looked startled, but Elain was far too shy to show that she quite liked the effect her question had on him.

'You want to wash my hair?'

His face was so exquisite, it hurt to look at it. His eyes would be even worse; it wouldn't be the first time she was rendered speechless by their kind gaze. A myriad of colours swirled in their glistening depths - gorgeous greens and brilliant browns, all so natural and rich, if only she could look at them long enough to find their matches in the garden around her. Though, his eyes were an entire spectrum of colour in their own right. How would she ever pick out each and every shade?

And if she somehow did have the courage to meet his eyes now, what would she see of herself in their reflection?

A lovesick puppy? A doe-eyed, fearful fawn?

No, she didn't want to know.

So she swallowed and focused on his hair. Perhaps this Fae eyesight was a curse, for even his hair was shockingly fascinating. Only flat black from a distance, the faelights bobbing about the trees highlighted layer upon layer of silky raven locks up close. His hair was so dark it seemed to absorb the surrounding light. Mud stained one side of his head, and it was an effort to keep her hands from brushing it away, so she said, 'I'm positive that's mud and you shouldn't sleep with that in your hair. It'll only take a few minutes.'

He ran a hand through his hair, clumps of dirt falling out.

'You've managed to get some on your face, too.' There were light specks of mud and blood across his face, a more noticeable patch along his cheekbone, thrown into sharper relief by the faelights and his own weariness. Was that a cut beneath the patch? And another on his temple?

She leashed her arms.

What had happened? He wore the signs of a fight, but why would he come here when he knew Elain was the only one home?

His eyes bored into her face, but she refused to meet them. He seemed to lean forward then, stumbling.

Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous that he wouldn't even acknowledge he was in need. Azriel rarely stumbled. Any fatigue Elain had felt just a while ago was now burrowing down a little longer. Her voice was firm when she spoke. 'I'm washing your hair. It'll help relax you into falling asleep.'

His brows rose, but if Elain stood there one more moment she wouldn't have the courage to do anything for him. For herself - she could take care of someone else. She could do for Azriel what she hadn't done for Feyre all those years as a human.

And for Azriel, she could tend to the male who'd provided her with comfort and safety in this world of distress and danger.

So she pulled him along, clenching her jaw and refusing to look back. Her heart hammered in her chest but she continued, hand wrapped round his armoured arm. Her hand slid down to his wrist but just as she was about to replace her grip, he grabbed her other hand and pulled her into him.

The shadows instantly began to ensconce them, dozens of those cool tendrils twining like vines. The estate loomed huge before them, and Elain gripped Azriel's hand tighter. 

'My bathroom,' she said. Beneath the low whisper of those shadows, her blood thrummed, her heart so painfully obvious against her ribs now. It would be a wonder if the spymaster wasn't aware of it. Though she did hear another flutter above, right by her ear. But as expected, the shadows made quick work of their journey and she didn't have the chance to dwell on it further.

Now out of the comfort of Azriel's hold, Elain set down her blanket and made to grab a chair from her bedroom. His dark presence was so overwhelming that she exhaled lightly as she entered the room and took the chair. She dragged it to the sink, avoiding his gaze, and pulled a towel, soap and a large jug from the cupboard by the door.

As she settled the soap and jug on the sink, she dared a glance at him. He was still clad in full armour, those black scales gleaming like obsidian over his skin, his Siphons glistening jewels across his body. 'I think you'll have to collapse your armour for this,' she said.

He inclined his head and tapped a Siphon, those scales lashing back into each other with cruel elegance. They were a mirror of their master: cold, controlled and unyielding, forged from scintillating darkness. He was a night sky riddled with stars; light existed if only one bothered to look for it.

Azriel's great wings righted themselves as he stood straight, now looking smaller in just his black tunic and trousers. Something about him seemed vulnerable without the armour, so Elain breathed, 'It's beautiful, all of it.' The hulking armour, the classic simplicity of the tunic and trousers, and the male who wore them all.

He was just so wonderful, Azriel. An enigma that could see her own. Her heart clenched.

Azriel rustled his wings, colour blossoming on his cheeks.

Elain blinked and pulled the chair out a little. 'Please sit.' As he sunk down, she rested the towel on his shoulders, hovering her fingers above his forehead. Her body tensed and her fingers remained suspended. It was like a spark of tension flickered in the space between their skin, teasing her, tempting her, taunting her.

After all, she'd offered to wash his hair, an act that would certainly require touching. But why was she so hesitant? She'd touched him before - kissed his cheek, even. Although that had been in the heat of adrenaline, a mark of her gratitude where a simple thank you wouldn't suffice, not for risking his own life for hers.

This was - what was this?

She finally lowered her fingers through that tense spark, pushing his head back against the sink. It was exhilarating, this contact, but he lowered his wings, shifting on the seat. Elain moved into the space he gave, turning on the tap as he went still. Just as her body was taut, taut as the skin of a drum.

She checked the water. Warm. It was time to start.

Azriel was looking up at her. Something like yearning swirled in his eyes.

He looked so tired. It made her heart ache.

'You can close your eyes,' Elain whispered. And he did.

___

Feedback's welcomed; thanks for reading 😊

If anyone wants to know what the datura flowers look like, CTTO:

@illyrian-lover-flower @julesherondalex @nooriee @mis-lil-red @verifiefangirl @tswaney17

[hannie-dul-set]

you had never thought that the most nerve-wracking experience in your life would be knocking on a door.

it had been twenty minutes, at least— you staring intently on the hard black painted entrance, hand reaching for the surface every couple moments or so, but only to end up retracting it in hesitation.

within your instances of delay, you took a minute to examine the few potted plants decorating the place's exterior. this wasn't the same place jaehyun's mother had uninvitingly invited you to last time. you had found out that the jung's had many houses, the previous being their family's, and this one being jaehyun's personal living space, where he usually resided whenever it got too busy at the company (which, to be honest, was more likely than not).

y/n, stop getting sidetracked, dammit. you scolded yourself, bringing the both of your palms to the sides of your face and you gave yourself a few light smacks. before you can find yourself wandering from your thoughts even more, you decided to just get on with it.

inhaling a sharp dose of air, you lifted your right hand to the door's surface.

knock. knock. knock.

without even a second to spare, the door swung open, making you think— had he been waiting behind it this entire time?

a rush of warmth attempted to fight its way into your cheeks at that notion, even more so when you saw jaehyun finally standing in front of you, donned in a simple black shirt and his favorite checkered pants, with the usual neatly styled hair that he wore everyday, now in a somewhat ruffled mess.

yet he still manages to take your breath away.

"hi."

you managed to breathe out, heart attempting to break away from the cages of your chest. jaehyun mumbles the same, pressing his lips together in a small, dimpled smile before ushering you inside. the door closed with a resounding click, and he turned to face you.

jaehyun noticed the way that you had your gaze at your feet, the way you fiddled with your fingers as you bit down your bottom lip, and the way there was a slight puffiness in your eyes— and his heart ached, piercing through the smothering silence of his home. he opened his mouth, in the attempts to say something— anything— but he himself was left wandering in the dark with the situation, so the words he had tried to come up with refused to spill.

instead, he waited for you to start speaking, but it seems you had trouble in doing so, as well.

never had you thought that you'd experience awkwardness around jaehyun.

but here you were.

"are… are you mad at me?" your voice sounded more like a squeak than anything, and broke through the quiet drenching you both. and somehow, despite your refusal to look at him directly, you could still see jaehyun flinching from your question.

it took him a while to utter a response, and it had you swimming in a self constructed pool of nervousness. that is until you heard him whisper a quiet "no," and the softness of his voice nearly tore you into pieces. your heart shivered as you felt him getting closer, gently holding the sides of your face, causing you to look up at him with quivering eyes. "no, of course not."

a frown fanned across your lips and you reached for his hands, bringing them down in an assured hold. "be honest, jae. tell me you're at least upset."

his expression was unreadable, and one beat of silence passed.

two beats.

three—

"okay," he let out a relented sigh. "i am a little upset."

at that juncture, you let go of his hands and deliberately buried yourself into his chest, arms wrapping around him in a moment of unspoken warmth. jaehyun was taken aback, and with a muffled voice, you mumbled out. "i'm sorry..."

he froze for a while, arms hanging in the air without knowing what to do until a fond expression sneaked its way into his face, and he returned your embrace. a gentle kiss presses onto the top of your head, and he lightly brushes his fingers through the strands of your hair, causing you to look up. he smiled at you— a forgiving smile, and you felt the deepness of his voice engulfing your vulnerability.

"will you tell me what happened, baby?"

it was ridiculous, honestly. how every sound he utters, every gaze he sends at you, was enough to have you weak— stumbling over your own emotions stained in a blazing shade of red until you could barely find it in yourself to stand up.

(you didn't know this, but at that exact moment, jaehyun was feeling the exact same thing).

"can we sit down first?" the two of you never left your position, still buried deep in each others' arms, and when jaehyun released an ocean-deep chuckle at your question, you felt it flooding right through you. and instead of drowning, it felt as if you were being carried by the waves into someplace familiar— someplace safe. he led you to the couch in the middle of his living room, a low glass table in its front. there was a considerable distance between the both of you, only your fingers intertwined with each other serving as a bridge.

hesitation flashed through your features, head trained on the ground and not knowing how to start, but then you felt a squeeze on your hand. you looked up, seeing the assuring warmth of jaehyun's smile, and you found yourself releasing a huff of air.

"i did go to the gala last night," you started. "actually, i talked to mark for a while before i left— was he the one who told you?"

he nodded, lines of attentiveness tracing the softness of his features.

"i didn't stay long, though. when i saw you, i was really about to go up to you," you exhaled, heaviness weighing you down in a moment of contemplation, and then you continued. "but then, people started talking..."

"talking about what?"

"how you and seonha were perfect for each other."

jaehyun was still. he had not expected an outcome like this. a sudden blow was directed to his chest, spreading all throughout the rest of his being when he saw the aching expression on your face. how he wanted to take you in his arms once more, to kiss you senseless until all the parasitic pressing of your thoughts were to be scared away, never to see the light of day again.

but he was still— unable to move no matter his desperation, and your voice caused a rift in his senses once more.

"i know their words meant nothing, and— and i know i shouldn't have let any of them get to me but—" your solemn gaze lingered on jaehyun, glazed with a sheer layer of glass. "i… i don't know. it felt like i was suffocating and all i wanted to do was to just leave."

the ticking clock from afar was incessant against the strained silence, serving as a continual reminder of how much the seconds pass.

"i'm… sorry for disregarding everything you said to me the other day. and i'm sorry for lying to you."

"y/n, you know i love you, right?"

without you even realizing, the distance between you had nearly disappeared, a small space remaining for he still had your hand in the gentleness of his hold as he looked at you with the glimmer of adoration doused in his dark pools. 

"i know... "

he smiled, light sunlight peeking inside a dim room.

"and because i love you," jaehyun started, bringing your hand to his lips and he pressed down a tender kiss, sending a rush of warmth down your spine and his gaze on you lingered as he did so. "i'll keep on reminding you that i do until there's room left for doubt inside your head, okay?"

a skip of a heartbeat, a slight quivering of your lip, a faint stinging in your eyes, and he had no right to make you feel this way. once again, you found yourself buried in his chest, limbs tangled haphazardly on the couch just so that you can envelop him in your tightly gripped affection even more. his arms snaked around you, head resting on the top of yours and you heard him mumble into your hair. "...i'm sorry for not being with you when you were having a hard time."

you released yourself from him a little, just enough so that you can look at him in the eye. jaehyun had his brows raised in confusion, and without even giving him a moment to interject

you kissed him.

short, sweet, and delicate— just a bare graze on the pinkness of his lips.

jaehyun was caught in a daze, only for a brief moment, before he broke into the most lovestricken smile you've ever seen. there was a glint in his eyes, just before he captured your lips, eliciting a gasp from you as he returned your chaste peck with an intensity that was tens, hundreds, thousands of times more, and it had you surrendering.

with a light thud, jaehyun's back fell onto the couch's surface with you on top of him, one of his hands falling firmly at the back of your head. it was fervent— mouths clashing in a blur of tongue, teeth, and shallow breaths until the feverish bursts swallowing your lungs had you both gasping for air.

and so you broke apart, the sounds of your staggered breathing against one another as you stared into each other's eyes, foreheads touching. it was a wordless exchange, with the both of you knowing exactly what the other was meaning to say.

i love you.

jaehyun took another bite at your lips, and it had you stifling an uncontrollable bubble of laughter. he shuffled to move from his current position, sitting up to lean against the armrest of his couch so that it would be more comfortable for you, knowing that you two would stay like this for a long while, but he never releases you from the warmth of his arms.

head now resting against his chest, you interrupted the moments of silence with a notion that nearly had jaehyun smothering you with even more of his love. "we didn't even get to go public because of me."

"is that what you're worried about? it's never too late for that, baby," he laughs, his hand lightly brushing your head as you looked up at him. "if you want i can run outside right now— yelling at the neighbors about how much i love you."

you let out a whine, disapproving his suggestion, and the deep vibrations of his laughter coming from his chest coursed through you like before.

"i'm not lying. i will actually do it if you tell me to."

"and i won't ever tell you to do that because that's insane, jaehyun."

"it was only a suggestion," he muses, playing around with a few strands of your hair. "have you eaten yet, baby?"

the sound of ticking was once more, telling you how much time has passed. you looked at him, seeing the same dimpled smile that he flashed at you at the bus stop a few months earlier, and you smiled back.

"no," you answered. "not yet."

gold painted canvas

the classic rich boy and poor girl love story but with less prejudice and more happiness

38 // because i love you

a/n: ;DDD the series is coming to an end!! tomorrow is the last part besides the epilogue and i'm hdjsjshhs

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@jaehyunsgoodthing @neocultech-baby

[grokebaby]

What's back home?

Katherine got up at 6:05. She always got up first. And most always at the same time. She got into her slippers and made her way to the kitchen, turning on the coffeemaker. It started working a cup with a conveniently quiet Humm. She took out her sugar free yogurt and organic fruits and started putting them in the bowl in an aesthetically pleasing order. After setting the bowl down on the table with a fresh cup of black coffee, she voice commanded the radio on her favourite channel and began doing her morning exercises. It was all the same routine she'd been doing since turning 20. And her body simply couldn't start up without a good exercise and a stretching.

Her husband Gerald slept for another hour until finally crawling out of the bedroom. "Good morning dear", Katherine said in a neutral tone, reading an e-book she'd started earlier that week. Her breakfast table-ware had already been run under the tap and put in the sink neatly. "Mornin' honey. News!" Gerald responded, opening the fridge. Their radio switched to the news channel as Gerald put last night's lasagna in the microwave. "Don't yell at the radio", Katherine quipped over the noise of the empire's latest happenings. "I didn't" Gerald responded. "You just did." his wife pushed back, not even lifting her head from her reading. "It runs on voice command Katey, I just commanded it" Gerald explained drowsily, pulling up his boxers. "The AI doesn't need to be convinced of your authority to do it's job honey" Katherine notified half seriously. The microwave made a little ping, opening the door to a lukewarm plate of lasagna. Gerald took a fork and sat in the matching armchair next to his wife's. "Katey I love you but we have this same conversation literally every morning." He sighed, taking a forkful of food.

"No we don't. Not literally. I love you too Gerry" Katherine retorted, adding the nickname most likely out of some frustrating way to get back at him. He snorted in amusement, sharing a look with the woman. There was still the same warmth under an ever thinning layer of self centered dignity. She continued reading. But they did have this same conversation yesterday..

Kalvin was forced to take a standing spot in the train again. He was fortunately used to standing around by this point in his life, since his job included alot of walking anyway. He looked out the window as the tubular vehicle slid up the tracks, above the ground level traffic. A person he usually didn't think about popped up in his mind. It was in the form of a childhood memory, probably brought on by two small children running into a store. He and Luke used to shoplift every now and then. They'd see a cool train set in the window, or a packet of muffins in the aisle, and immediately get the same idea. Sharing a brain cell stayed with them for years after the orphanage, even after their little brother circle was broken. One of them would always distract the employees either by asking incessant questions about a random product, pretend to buy something, or fake an injury. Or sometimes get an actual injury. Luke was a clumsy kitten.

He smiled a little, catching his tail wagging subconsciously. It stopped once he acknowledged it. His mind swam to a more recent memory of his brother. Frustrated growls and tense tail flicking. He remembered how astounded he was upon hearing what Luke actually did for a living.. "Oh cmon, we used to do vigilant-y stuff all the time! What's so shocking here?" Luke'd said. Kalvin tried to list all the legal and physical trouble his brother would be in, if anything were to happen.

"It's secret, Kalvin! We hide our traces! Obviously!"

That wasn't explanation enough. They eventually ended the discussion. For that evening at least. But it was the start of many more arguments. Not that it was the only subject of discourse. His brain skipped to the part where Kalvin was done packing his belongings into the van, gotten in himself and looked to his brother. They shared eye contact. It was cold. It hurt. It didn't lessen his anger. The next time he saw his brother was on the news. A mugshot. A crazy headline. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream "I told you so!" to his brother's face. He couldn't.

The train smoothly slid to a stop, intercom announcing where they were now. Kalvin was shaken out of his reflections. He stepped out.

Ash groaned and decided to finally give studying a rest. He'd been reading the same paragraph over and over again, not really digesting any of it. He sighed heavily and stared at the screen for a few seconds, blankly. After spacing out for a solid minute, he simply shook his head and got up to fetch himself ice tea from the fridge. There wasn't much else in there. He strolled into the livingroom, wanting to get away from what his brain considered "Studying space". The tea was kinda stale but the coldness of it refreshed him a little, relaxing his body.

He glanced at the clock, only to notice it was afternoon already. He smiled a little at the timing of his tea - his mother would be doing the same back home right about now. He should call her. He texts her regularly but the poor woman only takes the time to write in the evenings, right before bed, as she's scrolling her phone for one last reality check. She'd definitely appreciate the call. Everything's on voice command back there anyways.

He had her number on quick dial, and the phone was ringing in a second. She took a bit to pick up, but soon enough an old woman spoke from the other end. "Yes dear?" Ash swallowed. He way preferred non-instant methods of communication - talking directly to someone was so easy to mess up.

"Hi mom. What's up? I just uhh.. Took an ice tea from the fridge and thought of you, I guess." he said into the phone. "Oh, I was just putting on my own tea right here, right - right about now. It's boiling. But it'll come fast for sure." she stuttered back. "Yeah, that's why -.." Ash started before being cut off. "Yes how's studying dear? You um, you had that big exam coming up." Ash stifled a sigh. He definitely wasn't in the mood to get right back to this topic again. "Yeah.. Yeah I was just taking a little break here. There's alot of material to.. you know, take in."

The rest of the call consisted of small talk and affirming to his mom that yes, he does indeed still live by the basic standards of hygiene, and that yes, his friends at school are doing good but are just busy. He eventually hung up.

Could've gone worse. He let his thoughts wonder for the time it took him to finish the ice tea, after which he begrudgingly returned to his materials again

Amalia turned off the TV. The news always gave her anxiety. Something bad always happened, either on the news or whenever someone was watching them. If it was something she really had to know, it would surely come to her knowledge some other way.

She got up to make herself cocoa. Knowing Colin would be coming home from football practice around this time, she prepared two cups.

Out the window she could see the local neighbourhood. It wasn't the fanciest one, but she'd gotten comfortable in it by now. It was already dark out, and most work-going people would be inside. Only a few people floated by, illuminated by the street lights. A group of youngsters on their way to the pub. Elderly people going to the store last minute to get something they just remembered. Late-night workers picking up trash. A band of strangers lurking behind the corner.

Something about that didn't sit right with her.

She looked away, afraid they'd notice her at the window. Pulling the curtain, she dared quick glances every few minutes. About three or four people, waiting around for something. Nobody hung out for fun in spots like these. They were talking with each other, although probably not pleasantries. Most of them wore sizeable coats, and the ones that didn't had stuff to carry. Her palms dampened with sweat and she looked away again, trying not to focus on whatever thoughts seeing them originally brought up.

Her cocoa got cold as she forgot to drink it.

Memories tried to push up to the surface. Of large groups of strangers surrounding her. Being held against a cold brick wall. Manhandling. Her claws slid out, pushing against the wooden table. She'd managed to tear into a cloth, or perhaps an ear with them in the past. She wanted to avoid conflict at all costs. The house around her felt too empty. Cold. The stinging phantom smell of alcohol and blood slid up her nostril

The door opened and shut. "Evening! I smell cocoa!" Colin meowed from the entryway. He quickly threw his coat to the rack and peeked his head into the kitchen. Amalia blinked and tried to shake the anxiety away. She picked her claws off the table subtly enough to seem casual, and smiled to the young tom. She took a breath and started purring. "Oh, yes. I put your cup on the table right here. Go wash up first sweetie". He was always a bit ruffled up after practice, considering what kind of sport football was like. Amalia found it a bit too intense and always worried about Colin getting hurt amongst the kicking and tackling. "Yes ma'am", he trilled, making his way to the bathroom. Once he was out of sight, she glanced out the window again. The group had left.

Stella changed her reading position. Judging by the neckpain and the heaviness of her eyelids, she'd probably have to put away her book soon. And she decided to do it now before she got lost in the charmingly papery pages of her vintage reading. She tucked it on it's designated place on the shelf, right between two other books. She was very happy with the collection she'd amassed thus far.

She stretched, mind still swimming in the mythical stories of old. She absently looked out the window. It was dark, except for her reading light. The house was quiet. She knew she had places to be tomorrow morning, but didn't feel like being there just yet. She wanted to savor the rare moments of peace and freedom that, unfortunately, mostly happened during the late hours. Her eyes, as if on instinct, looked for the moon. She remembers going outside every day for weeks on end, just to look at it with a periscope. It had offered her some semblance of comfort, getting to see where her brother was kept. She knew it was virtually impossible to go see him in person. The phone calls around New years were always emotional.

She didn't see it. Must've been the time of month. She decided not to devote any brain power to worrying, and just sat there. No stars were visible through the light pollution, but that wasn't new.

She slowly and begrudgingly changed into her pajamas and sat on her bed. Jeremy was also a night owl, wasn't he? He'd always be fixated on something random, like cleaning some closet in his room, or looking up monster sightings in their area, or how toffee was made. She smiled a little, though it was gone in a second as longing pricked her chest. For the thousandth time she went through all the thoughts of denial and disbelief. Ones like "He's such a sweet guy, he wouldn't just straight up kill a person", "There's no way he got into a guarded building unassisted. What if it was staged?", or "Where did he even get a farmer's stunner that strong, they're only available in very specific, company oriented businesses". She swiped the thoughts away and forcibly tucked herself to bed. She'd cried enough over it, and decided to let life be as it was right now, whether she liked it or not.

Things don't always work out how you want them to

[cassandras-blogg]

"Swallowing Courage" (Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka ) CHAPTER TWO - I PROMISE THIS CHAPTER GOT DELETED SO I'M JUST REPOSTING IT (: CHAPTER 3 coming soon. - A loud knock at the door was the first thing Danny heard when he woke up the next morning. He slowly shifted around in the bed and felt the weight of another body close to his back. "So it was just a dream??" Danny thought to himself. He looked over at Sam and his back was completely turned away from him. Sam's arms were close to his chest and his knees were closer to his stomach. Danny took this as, "Oh he didn't want his legs or arms to touch me the whole night, so it must have been just a dream." Danny sighed in relief. There was no way it could have actually happened, why would Sam ever offer to help Danny explore his sexuality? There is no way Sam would ever take a risk that could potentially ruin their lifelong friendship. There was another knock at Sam's door, when there was no answer again the door swung open. Josh was standing there in the doorway holding a tall cup of coffee. "Can I have some of that? Please?" Danny asked sitting up in Sam's bed. "Uh-hmm. What are you doing today? Just church or what?" Josh hummed, he passed his cup of coffee to Danny and climbed into the bed to sit down next to him. "Wait, it's Sunday?! How did I forget! What time is it?" Danny raised his voice and this finally woke Sam up. "It's 8:35 right now." Josh said reaching his hand out and taking back his cup of coffee. "Ugh, I have to go. Like right now." Danny had to quickly crawl over Sam's legs and Josh's body to get himself out of the bed. "Dude stop it!" Josh said slowly moving his arms up. "What??" Danny asked, once he looked back at him he could see a few drops of coffee running down Josh's arm. His quick movements almost made Josh spill the coffee on himself, but he caught it quickly before it could make a real mess. "Yeah, seriously. Calm down. Church doesn't start until like 10:00? Right?" Sam asked running his hands through his messy hair. "Yeah, but I have to be there at 9:00 every time to help set up!" Danny said grabbing his jean jacket and his boots he was wearing yesterday. Danny often played the drums in the worship band at his church on Wednesdays and Sundays, sometimes he would also sing when he needed to. He always went to church twice a week and was never late to any form of service. At Danny's church he is one of the top volunteers and is a highly respected student leader in his youth group. He has been very involved in church since his childhood, it has always been a huge part of his life. "My mom and dad are gonna kill me. I don't know if I'm gonna make it on time." Danny heavily sighed quickly lacing up his boots.

"OH SHIT! That's right. Speaking of mom and dad, we got to clean up this house before they get here." Josh set his cup of coffee down and jumped up to run downstairs to the living room. The Kiszka parents and Ronnie had gone to a relative's house last night because they wanted the boys to have the house to themselves for Danny's birthday. "You do realize how fast I can drive right? I can get you there in twenty minutes tops." Sam said standing and throwing on a hoodie. "Really you will??? Thank you Sam." Danny sighed in relief this time, he knew if he drove himself then he would just end up following all the rules and would never speed past the posted limit. Sam followed most of the rules of the road, but he would still speed around left and right if he saw there were no cops around. Danny and Sam jogged down the stairs and saw Jake taking down some of the decorations. Josh grabbed the empty bottles and handed them to Sam. "Here you, smash these bottles outside on the concrete. Then sweep it up and throw all the glass at the bottom of the trash. Jake will cover it up by throwing the decorations and other trash on top of it. The glass won't rip the trash bag, we double bagged it." Josh always was the one who came up with ideas on how to cover up the evidence so their parents wouldn't find out what they were up too. "Ah, I got to take Danny to church like right now." Sam said grabbing the keys to the car that the twins shared. "Hurry up then! Come back right after you are done.” Jake shot him a glare while continuing to pick up trash. "I promise!!" Sam shouted as he ran out of the door with Danny.

` About fifteen minutes later they had arrived. Sam dramatically swerved into the church parking lot and parked right up front where everyone could see them through the untinted car windows. "You didn't have to pull in all crazy like that." Danny said slowly taking off his seatbelt. "You wanted to be on time. Right?" Sam scoffed. "That is true." Danny smiled despite feeling slightly embarrassed because of the few old people frowning in their direction. The older people always showed up earlier and the younger people with families show up right on time. "Thank you for driving me over here, I really appreciate it. Do you want to ditch the twins and come to church with me?” Danny asked. "No problem, and you know what I say every time you invite me to church Daniel. No. Oh, and by the way, take it easy in there when you drum today. Last night I noticed you need to take better care of your hands' dude. You're going to ruin them before you have a shot at becoming a successful drummer." Sam said looking down at Danny's blistered hands that were sitting in his lap. He never ”took it easy” because he had no other coping mechanisms except drumming. "Oh." Danny said. He thought it was weird that Sam randomly started talking about his hands, especially since he had a dream last about them holding hands. Then suddenly Danny felt a tidal wave of anxiety fire through his brain, travel down his spine, and then into his lower body. Why would he start talking about his hands? Unless it really happened. "So, what do you want to try later?" Sam asked curiously. "What do you mean?" Danny asked calmly. "You know, like what do you want to do next? With me?” Sam asked, directly looking into Danny’s eyes. ”Oh wow.” Danny took a deep breath. INHALE. IGNORE EXHALE CONTINUE. His thoughts were shouting at him to calm down, but he still could not stop his body from panicking. Danny’s hand began to tremble. He could not believe this was happening to him. Danny was filled with instant regret, guilt, and shame. He wanted to run away and never look at Sam again. He wished he could take back holding Sam’s hand. At the same time, he couldn’t deny how good it felt to hold hands with a guy, with Sam for the first time. ”Can we talk about this after church?” Danny looked over at Sam, hoping that he would agree. He didn’t even want to go to church anymore, he merely wanted to be alone. ”What's wrong with you?” Sam asked. ”You’re shaking right now.” ”I’m just cold. And I don't feel good. At. All.” Danny said trying his best to stop shaking. He was thankful that it was December so he could use the weather as an excuse. ”Oh, It’s because you need a hoodie underneath that jean jacket. I got another one in the back, no worries.” Sam said unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. Sam remembered that he held Danny’s hand that night. He was not that drunk by that hour. Danny was absolutely panicking over it, but Sam appeared to be unfazed by what happened the night before. ”Want me to go to church with you?” Sam asked once he came back from the trunk with an extra hoodie. Danny could not believe his ears. He considered the thought maybe last night when he blew out the candles it had transported him into some parallel universe. Sam was not freaked out at all. Sam wanted to be there for Danny while he could see that he was clearly panicking and wasn't actually cold. He already had Danny figured out, Sam has been there for many panic attacks before this one, and he never left him alone during one. Sam was willing to sacrifice his morning and afternoon to make sure Danny was okay.

”You don’t have too. Jake and Josh will get mad at you later if you don’t go back home now.” Danny replied as he took off his jean jacket to put on Sam’s hoodie, then layered it by putting his own jacket back on as Sam told him to do. ”I want to.” Sam said.” Besides they will get over it if they get mad oh well.” ”Really, thank you.” Danny said looking at Sam with this newfound admiration. ”Of course, like I said yesterday, I would do anything for you.” Sam shrugged. ”Oh and if you want to after church we can hang out and talk about whatever you want.” Danny looked up stared at Sam for a long time. There was so much he wanted to say to him, but he did not know where to start. There were no words to describe how grateful he was to have Sam as his best friend. Danny wanted to give him Sam a really long hug, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do it.

”Okay that sounds good.” Danny smiled. He didn't hug him, but they finally got out of the car and walked into the church together.

-

After the service, they decided to walk down a trail behind Danny’s house. This was the usual spot where they went to rant or talk about people at school, their families, or whatever was going on in their life.

”So. When did you start liking guys?” Sam asked kicking a rock in front of him. There was a brief moment of silence. Danny was unsure how to answer the question. His mind had deeply suppressed the idea of liking guys a long time ago. In the past, whenever he began to feel a certain way about a guy, Danny would always tell himself that it was wrong to think that way.

”I don’t think I like guys. I just know I have these thoughts that I can't control. So I'm thinking maybe if I act on them, they might go away once I see how weird it is to actually ”get with” a guy in real life.” Danny answered. ”Oh. I don't think that’s how it works.” Sam said. He stopped kicking he rock and looked up at Danny. ”But if that’s you think then, okay. I'll still help you out, but what are you gonna do if you actually realize you like guys?” Danny did not want to consider the possibility that he was really gay or anything else besides straight. It was too much for him to handle. If he thought about it long enough, his brain might explode from the mind-blowing possibility that it could be true. ”I’m not gay.” Danny sighed. ”I just need a wake-up call, and you are gonna be it for me. I just need to do this, so I feel more sure of myself, so I can move on with my life. You can back out now if you want too. I know you already do a lot for me, so you don't have to help me do this too. I can find some other guy to make out with and then I can get it over with." Danny silently hoped that Sam was going to back out of it because maybe that would make things easier. If he kissed a guy that was a stranger it might be easier, because then he would not have to think about ruining a friendship.

At first, Sam just stared at Danny, then he looked over at a large rock off to the side of the trail. He walked off the trail and sat down on the rock. Sam leaned back a little and made himself comfortable. "Come here, Danny." "Why?" Danny gulped starting to feel the nerves coming back. "Just come here. I have something to tell you." Sam said. He hesitated, but he still slowly walked over to the rock to sit by Sam. "What is it?" Danny asked scooting closer to his friend. "Yesterday I wanted to tell you this, but I was pretty sure Josh and Jake were going to make fun of me and I didn't want to hear it. I also thought you might make fun of me for even giving you the ring, so I just didn't say anything extra to add on to it. Anyways, last night when I gave you that ring it was not just a symbol of our friendship, it was also a promise from me. It was a promise to be your best friend no matter what happens. I can say a whole list of things, but I promise to always be there. I promise to always hear you out. I promise to never judge you. I swear, I do."

Danny was truly speechless now. “Can I hug you?” He asked. Sam and Danny did not hug very often. They felt like there was no need to hug unless they took a break from seeing each other for a while. Sometimes when Danny had panic attacks then they would hug during or after it happened. ”Yeah.” Sam said, he moved as close as he could to Danny and put his arms around his neck. Danny slid his arms around Sam’s waist and pulled him closer to his chest, practically pulling him into his lap. He began to tighten his grip, digging his fingers into Sam’s rib cage. Danny took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Sam tried to pull away from him, but Danny held him there and didn’t let him move.

”Can we hug longer?” Danny asked when Sam tried to move away again. ”Yeah. If you stop crushing me.” Sam winced. Danny looked down and realized how much pressure he was using in this hug ”Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Danny gasped starting to move away from Sam. ”It's okay. Come back.” Sam said grabbing Danny’s shirt and pulling him in closer to his face. Now they were nose to nose, making direct eye contact. Sam took a deep breath and he placed one hand on Danny’s face. Danny thought that maybe he should back up and move away, but that never happened. There was no way could blink or look away either, Sam had never been this close to his face before. Sam leaned in and Danny had no time to mentally prepare for what happened next. Sam gave him the most gentle kiss on one side of his cheek. He was positive that it was going to end there, but it didn’t. Sam leaned in more and put both his hands on Danny’s face, then he kissed the other side of his cheek. His lips moved up to the middle of Danny’s forehead then he kissed down the bridge of his nose. Sam paused once he reached Danny’s mouth. Tilting his head, he hovered over Danny’s lips, once he moved a little closer it made their lips lightly touch for a moment. Danny was tingling all over. ”Wait.” Danny said putting his hand on Sam’s chest. ”What?” Sam asked impatiently. ”Promise we will still be friends after this?” ”I promise.” Sam said quickly moving one hand to the back of Danny’s head. Once he moved his head forward, Sam finally got the chance to put his lips on Danny’s mouth. Sam let their closed lips stay pressed together for a moment, but not for too long. Then he grabbed Danny’s hair and tugged it just enough to make him gasp. Sam’s plan to deepen the kiss had worked, he pulled on his hair more, and now Danny’s jaw was slightly opened. That gave Sam the chance to lean forward and to slowly work his tongue into Danny’s mouth. Sam could tell that Danny was hesitant about this next move. Every time Danny would try to back up, Sam would pull him in closer. Eventually, Danny stopped trying to fight it, he put his hands on Sam’s back and started to move them up and down Sam’s spine. After he did this he could feel a shift and then more pressure on his lips. ”Mmm.” Sam lightly moaned into his mouth and started using more tongue. Danny’s hands were sending chills down his spine. Once Sam made that sound and Danny felt himself getting more heated by the second. Sam kept both of his hands underneath Danny’s hair so he could protect his head from hitting the rock when he rolled them over. Now they were laying on top of this uncomfortable rock kissing back and forth. Sam was on top of him with one knee on both sides of his waist, he tried his best to not to let their lips disconnect for more than a few seconds. Danny’s desire to keep kissing Sam only grew stronger, even though he could feel all of the uneven ridges of the rock digging into his back. Then suddenly Sam stopped kissing him. He abruptly pulled away and looked at Danny with a wide smile. “So. How was that kiss?” ”I uh, did not think it would feel like that. Better than I thought I guess? Also, that was way more than one kiss.” Danny said breathing heavily. ”Yeah and all those kisses are not for free.” Sam said sitting up and moving off of Danny’s body. Then he climbed off the rock and looked back up at Danny a smile. ”Oh okay, what do you want?” Danny asked. ”Let see. I. Want.” Sam began to cross his arms and look to the side. Danny waited in anticipation as Sam took his sweet time thinking about what he wanted.

”Weed, alcohol, my favorite snacks, and a few new records.” Sam requested. ”Oh okay.” Danny blushed. He thought that Sam was gonna say something sexual, but he wrong. ”Do you think you like guys now or what?” ”I don’t know, maybe you should come over later?” ”Danny!! Dude. You just can't get enough of me huh!?” Sam teased. ”Shut up Sam.” Danny said feeling the sudden urge to cover his face with his hands. ”But will you? Come over later?”

”You know I will.”

- END OF CHAPTER 2. There is gonna be a lot more writing coming up later, so be prepared.

[icharchivist]

Lavi anon: whoa thanks so much for the epic long reply. I love everything about it! Some stuff definitely caused me to think new things (so much I won't remember everything). 1st thing, The way I've always interpreted Roads Nightmare was that she accessed Lavi's dreams and let Lavi become his worst enemy letting all his fears fight back. Road meanwhile played a passive role by hiding in Allen. Afterall she didn't control bookmanJr. That was Lavi warring against his own mind. BookmanJr stuck-

2 around even after Lavi had stabbed Road. BookmanJr in my opinion was the one controlling the dream (thanks to Road, in return she controlled the body) trying to punish the part of him going astray. But BookmanJr (like you said) accepted Lavi and him were the same person when BJr heard Allen’s calls and tried to sacrifice himself to save his friend. But that’s my interpretation of Lavi’s worst fears and how even BJr couldn’t distort how Lavi sees Allen (you know it never occured to me how -

3 messed up it must have been for Lavi to stab dream Allen. Road could have been bias, but you’re right in that she could have seen how unchanged Allen was compared to the other’s and assumed Lavi would have treated dream Allen differently). 

(cutting it one mins again) first thank you for the nice word

Second, actually you’re right. I gave Road maybe a little too much credit on how much she manipulated the situation but considering the final manologue of how “Lavi” convinces “Bookman JR” you’re completely right: it was indeed more his internal self talking. 

I do think Road nudged a few things around. But it does lessen how much of her impact it was. And it says a lot about Lavi that this is how his fears manifests itself. How for everyone else in teh order it’s how much they’d judge him for him thinking of them like that, and all and so forth, but for Allen, what breaks him, is just how much of his emotional attachement to Allen was something his “duty self” had to reject and the fear of that one loss broke Lavi. 

But therefore if it’s really just Lavi’s fears coming out, Road probably only went into Allen because after seeing Lavi’s fears he knew she would be safer there. Like… if Road had all controle over the dreams and how she nudged it, she wouldn’t have just have let her Bias for Allen put her in a vulnerable situation. If we go with your interpretation (which the more i think about it, the more i think it’s accurate) it means Road saw the way Lavi wouldn’t even get to hurt Allen in those fears.  And you have also a point: considering how the nightmare evolved, i think perhaps the fears showed themselves by layers. And considering in the first layers, the first nightmares, Allen didn’t appear, Road probably put one and one together knowing that Allen would dig deeper into Lavi’s fears and consciousness. And now i’m sad.

It also says a lot about how much Lavi’s duty is challenged by Allen that it became the One “Ink” worth taking out. Worth killing by his duty self. Like in those fears it also acknowledge how this affection for Allen is the biggest risk against his duty. Guuuh it’s making me even sadder but that makes sense considering how it’s his grief about Allen that got called out by Bookman. (I think it’s a question of bad timing, but Bookman beat Lavi up with how he doesn’t need a heart over Allen’s loss, when Lenalee is crying for him - when Lenalee almost dies, there is no real time to lecture Lavi over his duty. Sure Lavi was still thinking about it,the whole thing was started in his mind, but Bookman didn’t act on it again due to the others stuff that kept happening. So even if this affection extended to Lenalee it was Allen who was the catalyst and therefore “the risk” in his nightmare. Funny enough considering Lenalee’s involvement in his nightmare were that her helplessness and how Lavi wanted to help her could be his downfall (but it wasn’t)- that echo how he was seeing the Lenalee’s situation on the boat. while Allen’s situation is fully on loss and it breaks him. Man. That hurts once put into that perspective.

Oh man Lavi’s right. No matter how much darkness ensnares Allen he’s such a creature of the light. Even kids see it better then adults. Timothy adores Allen. That girl Allen rescued in the Alma Arc thought his star was lucky. Another girl mistook Allen for-4 angel. It gets deeper when you realize a part of Lavi stopped emotionally/mentally aging when he became bookman jr and is the one who identifies Allen as dazzling Light. Even Kanda is getting in on being mesmerized by Allen’s white light image going by his expression from the last chap (Kanda’s 9 so…). I feel like Lavi’s observation was both a foreshadowing and resigned fear of losing Allen. Allen’s probably the best thing he’s ever recorded but he knows the natural state of the universe-5 is darkness with light only coming from sources. Humanity’s biggest light right now for Lavi is Allen. But even stars go out and Lavi probably wonders how long will Allen’s light shine for others until Allen himself goes out. I agree. Lavi is defintely overprotective at times. He freaked over Lenalee several times and during the Ark ark Allen was his main concern. Always staying close and getting jumpy when Noah attacked him. I’ll stop for now but I do love how Allen affected Lavi. X)

Nonny i love u and yes this is perfect. 

And tbh you have a point with especially resonating with children (although low blow for Kanda. Completely true and deserved and needed low blow but still). but it’s true that when “Lavi” gets to hear Allen’s voice and reason for a last time with his Bookman self against Road, his Bookman self turns back to a child. I think it meant a lot of having to face the values that had him start to be a Bookman to begin with. it’s apparently a decision Lavi took when he was 6 after all, before humanity made him numb to the “elder self” level. I think getting back to his Child self was a way to face back what were his original intentions by becoming a Bookman, trying to reconnect with that after years of losing yourself to cynism. But indeed it does create also an ongoing thing with younger people being carried away by Allen’s light in general and feeling hope in it.

But yes agreed, Lavi’s mention was really both foreshadowing and resigned fear of losing Allen. I think Lavi knows at this point, from almost losing Allen that it is something that will happen.

tbh even if we know Allen was “lost to his darkness” with Nea coming out, for Lavi, litterally, Allen “died” trying to save Suman after all. 

OKAY SO WAIT so as i was answering that i rewent to from chapter 55 to Allen’s death to notice what I wanted to say so: 

Timcanpy leaves VERY LATe the Tyki VS Allen showdown, and we know he recorded everything, so this is how much he saw. But here’s what happened:

Tyki killed Suman, making him explode from the butterflies. Allen was seriously injuried from the fight, right, and had to process all of that. Tyki eventually realizing who it was, started to show off his power: said Tease was only a weapon and he showed Allen how he could kill him, by tearing his heart out (so the whole scene of Tyki getting through Allen, litterally, and threatening to take his warm heart out, was reccorded by Timcanpy). THEN, Tyki destroys Allen’s innocence, STILL IN FRONT OF TIMCANPY (so that was reccorded). He also checks his hitman card to make sure and confirms that Allen is on his “to kill” list. But most importantly:The reason Tim left was that, while Tyki destroyed Allen’s innocence first, then headed to Suman’s, specifically talking about how he was looking to destroy the Heart. Allen knew at that point that he was on Tyki’s hit list. At this point, his innocence had already been destroyed, he saw Tyki’s destructive powers, and was too weak to try to fight back anyway.And what does Allen do? He asks Timcanpy to take Suman’s innocence and bring it back to the boat. Allen’s last action was to protect the innocence one last time. That’s what was recorded.

And also something I’ve never noticed until i looked for it but you know who is the first character we focus back on when Tyki is “killing” Allen? When Timcanpy leaves? Who is the first character from the boat we see again?

this is what serves as a transition from Timcanpy leaving Allen’s side to warn people on the boat, right before Allen gets killed. It’s Lavi who starts this “transition”. 

also this is right before they find Tim and I might need to scream at this reaction. Before being sure he died, he clentches his teeth remembering him and his kindness toward Suman before trying to believe that they will find them. He actually went througha  bit of denial there  g o d. I completely forgot. (also not helping the “memory effect” looks like it is fading away, a bit like light)

the point I wanted to make when i checked those out tho is that: Allen died “for the light” in a way. He died trying to protect, to save, and he spent his last minutes protecting the Innocence. In a way I can see why Lavi fears the Light swallowing allen more than the darkness: because to him, he saw Allen’s kindness taking him away. That Light that everyone sees in Allen, it had taken him away. 

Allen is a star, a light that is shining through and you’re entierely right: even those lights are doomed to fade away. And Lavi is aware of that, if only because it happened once. But he cannot hold hope for Allen even if he cares for this life. But ye at this point Allen is probably the best thing Lavi saw in his life and it hurts to think about how he might lose it at any moment like he already did.

And you’re right he does get overprotective, especially toward Lenalee and Allen. It still kills me that during the whole ark’s arc, while he remains mostly quiet, he spends most of his time stuck to Allen. It’s like,, dude,,, com’on,, you’re so scared to lose him again and you don’t even realize. He even felt for Allen when the Jasdebi were being vicious with him.

Man Lavi you care so much u fool. 

Everything about Lavi breaks my heart.

Take care!

[iliketowrite1996]

Suits and Secret Moments part 5

TRIGGER WARNING- HEARTACHE, MENTIONS OF CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS, BREAK UPS, INSECURTIEIES, MENTIONS OF ILLNESSES, MENTIONS OF ABANDONMENT

again, thanks to @wakanda-inspired, @chaneajoyyy and @syreanne for helping me, and letting me bounce idea off of them!

Also  I’ve never written a  story like this but I am trying new things, so thanks for all who read it. Feedback is welcome, just imbox me  constructive criticism!

     T’Challa

All that glitters is not gold. It’s a saying he’s heard a million times in the past, but one that he didn’t fully understand until the events of the last month transpired.

Because he loves Nakia. He truly does.

They’ve been dating for… a month and a half? Two months? He’s not really sure.

Anyway, he loves this woman. She is smart and funny and kind and sultry and beautiful. Basically, she’s his ideal type. He won’t lie and say that he didn't’ see the same qualities in you, but he saw them in Nakia first. He used to be in love with her and she used to be in love with him.

Check that.

Used to.

Past tense.

Not anymore.

Because he is not the same person that he was before college and neither is she. The woman that he’s currently holding in his laps and pressing kisses to the beck of is not the same woman who broke hi heart when he was seventeen years old. She’s lived and experienced things and traveled and she has a different idea of what love is now. T’Challa found his comfort in other women, she found ehrs in other places.

This is where they differ- she prefers new places to appease her wanderlust.

He prefers new people to ease his mind and aches.

Not better or worse, just different.

. She’s no longer content with hand holding and quick kisses.

She wants commitment and trust and things that T’Challa never thought he could give to any other woman after they broke up.

‘’What’s wrong,’’ Nakias pulls back, shifting so she’s facing him, ‘’You seem distracted.’’

   The glow from the fireplace bashes her dark features in warm light, and T‘Challa feels his stomach drop all over again.

   Are these those butterflies gian?

   Or something else?

   ‘’Nothing, everything is fine.’’

   He doesn't give her time to question him further, instead bringing her full lips back to his own and delighting in the small moan that escapes her mouth at the contact.

   They both grew up and he knows that . They have to let go of what they remember about each other form the past and embrace who they both are in the present. For Nakia, he will. He will change and bend, push and pull, give and take. He’ll become the man she wants, the man he couldn’t be for you. And he won’t tell you that burns something inside of him, just like it did for you.

   Where yours was jealousy, his was an emotion he couldn’t quite figure out.

   ‘’You don’t know what you have until you let it go’’.

   T’Challa has heard this phrase a million times.

   But the upcoming events will let him the true meaning of the words, spearing nothing in making him learn a life lesson.

‘’Girl, how?’’

       ‘’I slept with him, Deena. That’s how.’’

       Your best friend since college glares at you, brown eyes focusing on you as she kisses her teeth in irritation, ‘’You slept with your boss. I know I’ve asked this before, but: How? Why? When?’’

       ‘’We snuck around, because he’s hot and I am too, and a lot. In that order.’’

       ‘’Now you got a whole bun in the oven,’’ ehs looks at your stomach, where the baby you just found out about yesterday is growing.

   ‘’If you came to say that you told me so, please leave,’’ your voice cracks as you look away, the lines in the wallpaper of her apartment suddenly becoming more interesting.

   ‘’Hey. I wouldn't do that to you,’’ Deena reminds you, ‘’I just… how are you feeling?’’

   ‘’Tired. Nervous. Dumb,’’ you roll your eyes, ‘’I actually thought he cared about me.’’    

   And maybe he truthfully did, at a point. But you’re not Nakia, and you could never be Nakia.

   That sends another wave of nausea through you, and you try your best to blink back the tears.

   ‘’If he had just told me,’’ your voice cracks, revealing true sorrow, ‘’That he was moving on, I would’ve been fine. I’m more hurt that he lied to me.’’

   He cared about you, as in he didn’t want to see you hurt. Or, like, s you thought. But he still never had feelings for you. Not if he was going to do this to you.

   You messed around and caught up with him, and he hurt you. Just like Deena said he would, just like you denied so many times before.

   ‘’So…,’’ Deena clears her throat, tossing her curls over her shoulder, ‘’What are you going to to do?’’

   ‘’Go to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow,’’ you shrug, monotone voice matching the way that you currently feel.

   You have a doctor’s appointment at noon tomorrow, to either confirm or deny the answer that the test gave to you.

   ‘’No, I mean…,’’ she gestures with her hands, trying to find the right words, as if she can pull them out of thin air, ‘’What about the baby?’’

   Your mind is reeling. There may actually be a real baby growing inside of you. You don’t even know how far along you may be, and that complicates things even more. Because is the baby T’Challa’s? Is it this new guy’s?

   And how will you tell whoever it is?

   ‘’Hey,’’ Deena waves her hand in front of your face, the flash of cinnamon colored skin bring you back to the real world, ‘’You okay?’’

   You shrug, ‘’I don’t know what I’m going t do, Deena. But, let’s just wait and see what the doctor says. For all I know, that could’ve just been a false positive.’’

   It turns out to be positive. You sit on that for three weeks, feeling that if you don’t speak it out loud, it will somehow all turn out to be a dream, something that i can wake up from.

   But this maybe is as real as your stomach that will soon be growing. And based on how far along you are, you know exactly who the dad of the is.

You have a pretty good idea, but can’t confirm or deny anything until later appointments.

   You’ve been avoiding him for three weeks now, and he’s fed up.

   So when T’Challa stops by your office, tapping on the glass door and addressing you by your surname, you feel a fresh wave of nausea crashing through your stomach and another fine layer of sweat forming on your skin, ‘’Can I speak with you for a moment.’’

   ‘’Of course,’’ you speak, swallowing thickly and feeling like sand dust is in your mouth, ‘’What can I help you with?’’

   T’Challa closes the door behind him, and you feel little fires popping up all over your skin as e strolls closer, grey suit fitting him just perfectly.

   You can’t read the flood of emotions filling his eyes- anger, sadness, and… is that desire?

   Or are you reading too far into this?

   ‘’I have noticed that you haven’t really… looked at me lately,’’ he says slowly, choosing his words carefully, ‘’Not that I blame you. But… I believe we need to talk.’’

   ‘’So go ahead and talk,’’ you drop the professional act, leaning back in your black chair and folding your arms over your chest.

   ‘’Tell me what I can to fix it,’’ he replies, stuffing his hand in his pockets and rocking backwards on his heels.

   He’s nervous.

   ‘’There’s really nothing you can do,’’ you reply simply, ‘’The damage is done, T’Challa.’’

   Because what’s the point in sugar coating this?

   ‘’I know. But… we could still be friends, right?’’

   You’re not sure if you’re more offended by that suggestion, or the fact that he is one hundred percent serious when he asks you about it.

   ‘’We have never been friends, T’Challa,’’ you state cooly, ‘’Even when we were fooling around, we weren’t friends. I can’t ever will be your friend now. I don't trust you.’’

   ‘’Because I got into a serious relationship with woman that isn’t you,’’ he quirked an eyebrow.

   ‘’Because you're a liar and I new it. Because all you do is mess around and i thought I was different. But it’s fine. It’s cool,’’you stand, grabbing your coat,’’Now, I’m going for my lunch break. Is there anything else that you need, Me. Udaku, or may I take my lunch break?’’

   He presses his lips into a firm line before releasing, letting his plump lips that i used to spend hour just tasting show, ‘’No. I think we’re done here.’

   Done with the conversation.

   And done with each other.

   That doble meaning is heavily implied in his deep voice, and the tension in the room is nearly tangible. It couldn't even be cut with a knife it is so thick. So you bundle your coat up, pullin on your hat and scarf before grabbing your bag and exiting your office, leaving T’Challa standing there with a perplexing mixture of emotions swirling up inside of him

   ‘’Hey,’’ you look over to see who disrupted your thoughts as you make your way outside the cold, New York WInd still warmer than your feelings towards T’Challa.

   And lo and behold, who is standing there? The man you’ve been avoiding to the past three weeks. The one you’ve been afraid to tell about the pregnancy, the one who has begged you to commit.

   Here’s something you know: his past was once like T’Challa. Different girl every night. No real relationships. Casual flings and one night stands where his only interactions, nothing romantic on the horizon for this bachelor.

   But he had change of heart after graduating college. He ended up having a child, a beautiful little boy, with the woman who he fell in love with.

   Said woman ditched him.

   Thus, he got a taste of his own medicine, and decide she didn’t like the feeling every much. While you’re usually wary about the way people change, he seems to really have. It’s why you gave him a chance. It’s why you strongly considered committing him.

   Well, until a certain pregnancy test proved what you kind of knew all along.

   ‘’Him,’’ you speak out, turning to face him completely, ‘’What… what are you doing here?’’

   ‘’I came to visit someone, but I’m glad I get to see you. You’ve been avoiding me. I just… if I did some stupid crap that hurt you or something, I wanna know. I waa fix it.’’

   ‘’You can’t,’’ you shake your head, ‘’I just… I’ve been dealing with sme stuff. Didn't wanna bring you into it.’’

   ‘’Hey,’’ he says softly, a stark contrast form his rough demeanor, ‘’I ain’t gonna just bow it. We haven’t known each other for long, but I’ve got real feelings for you. Tell me what’s going on. Plese. I can help you with it.’’

   Maybe it’s the fact that you've been keeping such a huge secret between Deena, your doctor and yourself for nearly a month now.

   Maybe it’s that he’s a ray of sunshine on this cold, blustery fall day.

   Maybe it’s that you’re tired of holding back and want to be honest with him, the way that he is.

   ‘’I’m pregnant,’’ you say, blinking up at the sky as levels continue to fall down around you, the right color a stark contrast from the tone of this conversation, ‘’And I’m not sure if the dad is you or that guy I was seeing before you.’’

   He knows you were seeing someone. He doesn’t need to know that you had a very… vibrant and active love affair with the freaking CEO of the company you work for.

   ‘’I see,’’ he nods.

   That’s it.

   No further elaboration.

   ‘’Well,’’ you begin to turn, ‘’I’ve only got fifteen minutes left on my lunch break. So, if you’ll excuse me.’’

   ‘’I mean,’’ he takes your hand, something that you can tell is still foreign to him on the way he does it,

   Where T’Challa was familiar with intimacy and affection but tried to act like he wasn’t, this man is used to the opposite. He’s getting used to affectionate glances and warm touches from a lover, removing traces of flings and hookups from his mind because he feels that’s the best way for him to do so.

   ‘’If it is my baby… I’m goanna step up. It take care of Darion, you know. I’d… I take care of this baby. And you, too. If we ever get there.’’

   He’s a good man. He really is. And while you still have to wait a while to figure out who the baby belongs to…

   Why shouldn’t you give yourself a chance to move on? TO be with someone that tells you the truth, even when it’s hard?

   ‘’We got a lot to talk about, don’t we,’’ he laughs to try to lighten up the mood.

   And it works.

   Just a bit.

   But it does.

   ‘’Yeah. Erik Stevens, we definitely have a lot to talk about.’’

So… yeah. Switched Erik and T’Challa’s personalities a bit.

Sorry! It was an idea and this may not be good but I had to run with it and try something new.

DISCLAIMER-I OWN NO MARVEL CHARACTERS OR THEIR FICTIONAL WORLDS.

@ashanti-notthesinger​ @destinio1​ @afraiddreamingandloving​ @starsshines-blog​ @airis-paris14​ @syreanne​ @chaneajoyyy​ @90sinspiredgirl​ @shemiahsmelanin @zillmonger @skysynclair19 @bidibidibombaclaat @marvelpotterlove