#i didn't last too much reading this HURRAY
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i demand the 3D objects thoughts
Well I put it off to the absolute last possible moment. If you're reading this it's already too late. Paint 3d is dead
You will not be able to download it from the Microsoft store, and let's be honest, it's too shit for anyone to actually archive it (not that I'd even know how given it's a uwp distributed through the store and never offered as a standalone exe)
But let's not dance on paint 3d's untimely grave. As the world's first ever Kafkaesque photo editor it gave something very special to us all. I've come to love it, even if every time I use it I feel a deep and unending desire to become the joker. So let us Eulogize this beautiful mix failed start of a future we were promised but was failed to be born. Let's pour one out for Paint 3d, and explain once and for all what it really means to paint 3d.
What is paint 3d?
Before you can understand Paint 3d, you must first understand ms paint. Microsoft paint, often just referred to as "Paint" is one of the oldest standard programs to come with any windows installation. It's a bitmap editor that was begun long before most tiktok users were even born. It holds a special place in a lot of 90s and 00s kid's hearts for two reasons.
without fail, it will be installed on every windows machine. You will always have paint. It's dependable, fast, easy to get into, and will open corrupted or mislabeled images. It's the notepad of images, quick, dirty and gets the job done. You can copy and paste screenshots into there to quickly crop them
It's a little bit shit. It doesn't support transparency (well it does now but lets not get ahead of ourselves) so if you tried to make a minecraft skin with it you'd get all these solid color blobs. It doesn't support layers, so anything made on it is going to have a level of earnest shittyness to it. Text can't be rotated, bounding boxes have to be predefined shapes, and once something is on the page it's on the fucking page. MS. Paint will put pixels on the page for you, but after that point it won't hold your hand.
Point 2 is really a larger part of how ms. Paint is remembered. Ms. Paint is synonymous with youth, it's synonymous with limited computer time, with ignorance, with having nothing better. The spectacle of doing anything in Ms. Paint lead to the selling point of ms paint adventures which became homestuck. If you want to strawman someone's political opinions, you draw them in MS paint. The early, edgy, ugly look of the 00s web was defined by MS paint just as much as it was defined by adobe flash. The limitations of this piece of shit software defined a generation's artistic identity. We love it because it is shit. We would not have it any other way
Okay but you didn't explain Paint 3d!
Well, gosh, don't interrupt me. Yeah, so what is paint 3d? In 2017 Paint was added to the deprecated feature list. A special update was pushed so if you opened up paint it would ask you if you'd rather switch to paint 3d
Paint 3d put a fresh new stab at the utility, redoing it in the new UWP format and dressing it up in the company's then standard design language. The refresh also added a whole host of nice, modern features such as:
An updated set of tools, some but not all of which are pressure sensitive when used with tablets/touch
The ability to use transparency!
Hurray those are great new features wait what do those other buttons do?
Yes paint 3d lives up to it's name, you can add stock 3d models to any of your drawings and they're all kinda awful
3d text, 3d models, go ahead and place them in your scene. They put the whole project spark asset library in there last year, if you can think of it it's probably not in there but hey there'll be something and it may or may not have a texture because the model may have been intended for 3d printing
You can manipulate these objects with a slick interface that's completely non industry standard but hey it at least looks nice.
Models can also be painted on and you can pick from these options to decide the albedo/metalic values. No I don't know how to set the custom values, sometimes it's there and if you click off it's gone forever. Good luck
Oh and also when you're painting you're given a very convenient gizmo to rotate the object that isn't available in normal mode. You can multi select objects and group them together but beware it doesn't always work and using the undo key sometimes spawns a new copy at the wrong position and scale but don't worry this is a small bug in a new program and certainly won't be present in the final version on November 4th I promise.
You can put stickers on models and there's a nice little UI to stamp it if you want to put multiple here are all the stock standard stickers
You can also use these pretty tiling textures
Or you can add any png from your hardrive
Those are the only options you'll ever get or need. You can also spawn arbitrary shapes, like cubes and spheres
And in a post launch update they even added the fucking TUBE BRUSH
Look how many tube there is. So many tube You can also edit the points individually after they're created but each tube has a maximum number of points that it can contain and you have no way of knowing until it's too late.
You can also use the 3d doodle to make a shitty potato looking thing, but if you browse the #paint3d tag you'll see a lot of people more talented than me using that tool to it's fullest
As you saw you also have the option to round or point the corners.
At any point you can click the 3d view button and suddenly you're no longer head on, you can orbit the camera and view the scene from any angle. Is it actually good to work with 3d scenes in this program? God fucking no
This scene nearly killed my computer to make, and that thing had okay specs for the time. Placing objects with the non standard (but touch friendly) controls is a pain and the camera cannot be oriented in any meaningful way. There is no frecam, there is no camera scale, you can orbit, you can pan. If you want more go learn blender.
You can also change the time of day
Go ahead, rotate the sun or change the filter, some of them are even minecraft specific. Most of them are objectively worse than the default, but hey you get a lot of options
Okay yes these are all cool features, but I've been dancing around paint 3d's one actually cool feature, the one that drives me mad... because it's a good idea
great even...
...too bad it's shackled to this program.
Oh this? This? yeah we can fuck with this. Now we're fucking talking
Now I can move my objects around in 3d, scale them, reorent them and make all kind of cool 3d compositions out of cut out pieces of my 2d artwork. If you look at any cool marketing material this is by far the feature they're most proud of
The possibilities are endless... unfortunately they're also frustrating.
See that flower I made has a white background, and there's no magic eraser so I'd need to manually cut it out with the eraser... or use magic select
If you're in a video call while this UI is active and you're sharing your screen it will only show the gif and not the program itsself
With the add and subtract tools you can provide hints about what should and should not be included. That's fine for something as simple as this drawn with a pen tool, but... well if you like to draw with the pencil? Get ready for pain buckeraroo. You can't manually slice out what you want, you just have to get the AI to guess and it will never guess perfectly. Part of your bat will be left behind on the canvas or it'll start picking up a few extra white pixels
but hey, it's 3d now, sometimes it works. You can choose to content aware fill whatever was behind on the canvas, or leave a weird white empty space behind
But now I have a field of flowers I can move however I like, okay but I think I want to add an extra leaf to one of them
Get fucked. Idiot. Once you cut it out, it's like paper. These 3d canvasses can never be grown, only shrunk and only by the eraser tool which carves in a perfect circle like a bull in a china shop. Now, it's actually very cool how you can recursively create new 3d canvasses out of existing ones, and I'm sure you could do cool stuff but any time the canvas shrinks that's as big as it'll ever be it can never grow
Also, yeah you can't just make a canvas in place, you either have to reserve space on your main canvas or clip it off of a second canvas you make earlier and just... I don't know stash it off to the side out of frame? this is how you use layers and if you want to re-order them put them in literal 3d space? Want to hide a layer? Put it behind your canvas.
This is what experts are calling: "technically a workflow, I guess"
This would be a really cool feature, unfortunately it's just not finished. It's missing that extra 20% that would make it at home in real software versus just a toy. Just like paint you have to sort of plan ahead and make all of your layers. In order... but in reverse bob ross order. See you need to make all of your foregrounds first, then and only then can you start working on your background canvas, and should you ever change your mind and want another foreground you must destroy a space of your background to create it. Oh, also, once it's 3d it can never be re-projected back into 2d... well you can turn it into a sticker, which kicks ass, but that will be flattened, if you wanted to retain the 3d rotation of it too bad. Also, making something into a sticker physically consumes it, so you'll need to copy and paste it first just in case otherwise it's gone forever
oh yeah and sometimes copy and pasting doesn't work, creates extra clones, or places them at the wrong space.
Okay let's save our work
You can actually save it as a project folder. You heard me right, folder. Paint 3d stores projects as individual folders
And they're all just called checkpoint, there's no association with like, which project each one is
And they're all full of undocumented binary files, with the exception of a png thumbnail at the very bottom.
So uhhh, why? You can't send project files to other people, at least not easilly. Is this some library that I don't know about? This all boggles my mind. I mean a .docx file is just a renamed zip file was it too much to ask to make these all renamed zips? Why would you leave it half finished like that and just not make a "new" file type?
Okay sorry I got lost in the weeds. Also I hit the image limit for this post so you're just gonna have to bear with me and use your imagination. You can do this I believe in you.
You can export as a .glb file that goes to your 3d objects folder (put a pin in that), or you can export it as a video/gif. There are few pre-canned animations like bobbing back and forth or rotating on a turntable. They can be sped up or slowed down, but that's about it.
Okay but why 3d?
God damnit I'm going to need more images for this so I'm gonna post this as is and hope I can add more photos on the reblog...
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Ravenous by @rageprufrock
This is my first time trying to upload a post on my phone, so here we go -
Statistics:
38448 words || 148 pages
Titling: Playfair Display
Chapter Headers: Alchemist Serif Font
Body text: Charter, 11 points
A quickie bind in between 2 chonky chaparral_crown binds! This fic was recommended to me on the Renegade Discord and after I read it, it immediately leapt to the top of my to-bind pile. Sometimes you just need a taster of short fic bind while you procrastinate on the next few steps. I have a great appreciation for rageprufrock fics (have been reading them since the Star Trek days of yore) and damn, is this Hannibal fic absolute gorgeousness.
I had initially planned a wound man design on the cover (went so far as to convert an image to a black and white PNG but the image quality wasn't great, and due to violence, it might have been a rather disturbing cover to post publicly so I changed my mind last minute and did something else instead. The spine was too small for titling - I had initially wanted to go for block letters a la Annihilation style on the front cover as the title is 8 letters, but it hadn't looked as good as the serif no caps font rotated 90 degrees - so serif font it was. Hannibal doesn't seem like a man who likes san serif fonts anyway, so perhaps this was the right choice.
I'm deeply fond of this particular bookcloth and its colour iterations but I need some colour variation on my shelf - next book will be green, I swear.
I kept the bind relatively simple and relatively classic. The endpapers are foiled, though the foiling doesn't show up well in photos. I used a chattering of starlings on the chapter headers, and can totally imagine Hannibal drawing little artistic birds for his own amusement while incarcerated in the psychiatric hospital. For the title page, I had wanted to do a face with a moth in the style of Silence of the Lambs, but couldn't find a nice enough stock photo, so I foiled a solitary moth with the help of toner reactive foil. The laminator didn't like the foil so much and left a line across the paper.
The HTV itself adhered largely like a dream other than the thin stringy bits that were a tad difficult to weed. The gold metallic is a standout and I didn't melt it this time. (hurray!)
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I would love to hear your opinion about S3 !!1
Ooooooh girl! I have so many feelings here... This might get long, beware
Overall, I enjoyed this first part quite well.
I like how faithful some moments are to the book, although Colin's book is tied with Ben's as my least favourite and it was the one which took me the longest to read. I liked the Proposal, bc that's a scene I really like from the book and Colin's journals. I also like the glimpse of Colin's repressed anger.
I feel like the show could have mixed the Whistledown issue more with this first part. I felt like it was very separate. First, we deal with the love story, and then we bring the whole LW x Queen thing. The book actually starts with Lady D announcing she'd offer a reward for the person who gave her LW's identity. It didn't bother me that much during the episodes, but when the 1st part ended, it kinda gave me a feeling of... completion? Yeah, okay, we had the issue, we worked it out, the couple is together, we'll have a pretty epilogue moment and then yay. I know it's not just that bc I read the books, but even so it gave me that feeling. I don't know if splitting in two was a good plot device here, because the cliffhanger is... not actually a cliffhanger? There's nothing that makes us hold our breaths wondering what's coming next but that little trailer in the end. If it was me (not a professional obvs) I would either not have split this at all, or end the first part with Colin finding out Pen was LW. THAT would have been a cliffhanger worth holding your breath.
Particularly (Please don't come at me for that people), I don't feel the chemistry between the two of them, which is a bit sad. They were there, staring at each other about to kiss and I didn't feel that OH MY GOD YES KISS! They fell a bit flat for me, chemistry-wise. But again, I felt the same with the two of them the previous seasons so no big surprise here.
The Kathony, tho. God I love them. I want more of them. I need it. (I honestly think they were kept away from this beginning due to managing their schedules with other projects) But we'll see them in the next part being horny lovebirds together.
I really REALLY liked the sideplots too! Unlike season two and that god-forsaken annoying Eloise x Theo thing and Cousin Jack side-plots, I actually enjoyed the stories that were going around. I liked the Moldriches; I had some good laughs with Portia struggling with her daughters and sex ed;
Kudos to Lord Debling. I really liked him as a character and his interest in Penelope was nice to watch.
OH MY GOD FRANNIE AND JOHN! SUCH BABIES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! NETFLIX PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME, MY POOR HEART CAN'T TAKE IT! DON'T MAKE ME LOVE JOHN JUST TO WATCH HIM DIE PAINFULLY! (Also please can we get a bit of a shout-out for our baby boy Michael in part 2? Thanks)
The most surprising of all, I actually LIKED the Eloise and Cressida side plot, which I was really not expecting. I like the way Cressida is presented, not an angel but also not super bad. And I love that she managed to give Eloise some very important call-outs and threw some truths in her face that she desperately needed to hear and no one else had done in the previous seasons (at least not so directly).
A little hurray to baby Greg and Hyacinth being the most adorable little pre-teens god they are so big, I can't! I love them so much.
Also, I had quite a lot of fun with Benedict, especially him being called out by Lady Tilly for the EXACT same reason he was having a laugh at Anthony last season. I absolutely loved that one. And I want to know what's the deal with Lady Danbury's bro.
I didn't particularly care for the music in it as a whole BUT I have to say this: I did NOT expect Pitbull's Give Me Everything would work SO DAMN WELL SERIOUSLY I LOVED IT! I saw it on the setlist and I was like Oh my god grab somebody sexy tell them hey! How is this going to work? And IT DID! I VIBED SO HARD WITH IT! Seriously did not see THAT ONE coming.
I have ticked off 9 of my bingo predictions! Unfortunately, as we know, Anthony's butt in ep 1 was not one of that (so so so sad) Colin being chased by a duck was neither, which makes me really upset BUT we still have another 4 eps to go 🦆 (I know, I know, let me dream, leave me be).
I'll be watching it again later today with my mum, maybe tomorrow again with my Frannie. (ADHD hyper fixation yeah I know).
As I said, it had its ups and downs but overall I liked it very much. I can't wait for the next part.
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Nowhere full depth as last time, but
Wow Mimic, you really don't give a shit about making an effort for this disguise, huh? It's laughable how Silver struggled with this (honestly out of nowhere, nothing indicated they were near the ocean) enemy, but you just...sneering and going evil eyed tops that
Inversely, huh. Was expecting Silver to be treated as the lone idiot for not trusting Mimic, but no, here's Whisper. That said...that means this arc will literally be less than 4 issues
Unless this is Mimic disguising as Whisper, but the writers are generally too quick to reveal that
Anyway, Sonaze stuff
>I didn't see too much. Edit, someone noted he meant Blaze's world. Even so, he literally had to go looking for materials to help Tails craft transportation machines, interacted with many stage elememts, and Sky Babylon is exquisite with floating platforms and machines. Oh, and dolphin riding
2. Yeah you probably shouldn't have brought Blaze to a literal multi story tall building. IDWSonic the inconsiderate dumbass
Once again, Flynn retreads upon something game Blaze already went through Rush 1. Cuz clearly Gens doesn't matter.
Unrelated, can't tell if Flynn or Aaron made the flub, but why is a Sonic Mania stage reffed? Isn't Classic stuff barred from use in "Modern" context?
Similarly, NPCs in Unleashed note daytime Sonic being tolerant of the cold, despite thin short fur
We almost no OCs reffed, darn
What could've been a sweet moment is ruined by Knux punking (hurray for Sonic X nostalgia...), and a blatantly ripped SA2 quote for pandering
Otherwise, this was fluffy filler that isn't too bad
Except that...why is Blaze with Sonic? And the art by Reggie last issue made it seem like Sonic was going to Frog Forest/Lost Jungle, not Spagonia
It doesn't help that this comes out of nowhere. Why is Blaze here? And no, reading an ANNUAL filler comic shouldn't be requirement, Flynn. Stop doing that!
Also makes this more odd. The 2022 annual...is apparently recent to events for Issue 57-62 (this is the same vacation somehow). Like what the heck!?
Also, we really interrupted Knux Amy for this? Why isn't this for another annual?
My head hurts thinking how poorly planned this all is
Sad cuz...Aaron's art is good, Valentino's colors good, and even Evan seems to not draw Silver with round eyes for neutral expressions
@randomthefox @darklightheart
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Title: Sunil's Chess Misadventure
In the cozy confines of the Littlest Pet Shop, Sunil, with a determined look on his face, sat across from his friend Vinnie, a chessboard laid out between them.
"Alright, Vinnie, prepare to be defeated!" Sunil declared confidently.
Vinnie scratched his head, eyeing the chess pieces uncertainly. "Uh, okay, Sunil. But I still don't really get how this game works."
Sunil waved off Vinnie's concern with a dismissive flick of his paw. "Don't worry, my friend. I'll teach you as we play. It's simple, really."
As the game progressed, Sunil tried his best to explain the rules to Vinnie, who nodded along but seemed increasingly perplexed with each move. Sunil moved his pieces with calculated precision, while Vinnie's moves seemed more like random guesses.
After several minutes of gameplay, Vinnie leaned back in his seat, grinning triumphantly. "Ha! I think I've got you now, Sunil! Checkmate!"
Sunil glanced at the board, his eyes widening in confusion. "Um, Vinnie, that's not actually checkmate. In fact, you're in a pretty tough spot right now."
Vinnie's grin faltered, replaced by a look of utter bewilderment. "Wait, what? But I thought I was winning!"
Sunil chuckled, patting Vinnie on the back sympathetically. "It's okay, buddy. Chess can be a tricky game to grasp at first. How about we reset the board and try again?"
Vinnie nodded eagerly, still trying to wrap his head around the complexities of the game. "Yeah, let's give it another shot. Maybe this time I'll actually figure it out!"
And so, Sunil and Vinnie spent the rest of the afternoon engaged in friendly matches of chess, with Sunil patiently guiding his friend through the intricacies of the game, one move at a time. Though Vinnie may not have fully understood the rules, he relished the challenge and the opportunity to spend time with his best friend.
(This thing has been here for a while but I still very much remember what I wanted to do with this so that's what I'mma do now :))
The minutes soon turned into hours but Sunil's explanations, now more repetitions of earlier instructions than new information, did very little to elevate Vinnie's confusion, the words mingling together in his mind as he tried to make sense and transfer them to practice.
"I- wait, so can I even move now?"
"Yes, you can, but only in certain directions, now you need to escape me, otherwise you lose."
So he did move his piece in one of the possible directions Sunil pointed out, his... queen? No, no, that was the king, right? He had no clue anymore, maybe it was a... a... Biszkopt? No, that wasn't the name, he didn't think. There weren't even that many spaces he could move his two remaining pieces to, Sunil's white ones dominating the board, surrounding his own from all sides.
While he didn't lose, one perfect move from Sunil got rid of his second still standing piece. Vinnie he wasn't even going to try with its name.
"Well, well, well, look who's in a precarious position. Again," Sunil teased, a proud grin adorning his face. However, it disappeared just as quickly when he noticed Vinnie's bitter expression, his lip trembling under his own bite. "Vinnie-?"
"You know, actually, I don't feel like playing anymore." Vinnie caught his last remaining piece with his tongue rapidly causing it to hit his head before it fell to the floor. "You win. Again. I guess I'm too stupid to understand something again."
Hurray, angst! I couldn't stop myself, that was the first thing I thought of when reading it :)). Also, that name I used for this one chese piece - Biszkopt, you might be thinking I only used it because it sounds similar to bishop which is you know, the right name, and while this is true it's not a random word I made up, Biszkopt means sponge cake in Polish and I always thought it by accident sounded really similar to bishop :P
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I am reading a incest gay romance book, as you do, and I am just fucking floored with whatever the absolute fuck this book is doing by going out of it's way to treat neurodivergent people like absolute shit. The mother has a never specified attachment disorder that somehow means that she even forgets where her sons are and to worry more about a car than about one of them ending up in the hospital. This supposedly was caused by the death of another kid she had that died as a baby. She tried to go to therapy while her husband was alive, but once he died I guess the implication is that she never saw any need to keep going to therapy and just kept living completely neglecting her other living son. She has this unespecified disorder so we can justify her being a horrible mother that drives these two brother together to merely tolerate her. Sure. Whatever. Then there is this very obviously autistic girl that seemed to have been written copypasting a page of wikipedia or something. She has hyperfixations and that means she gets obsessed with one of the protagonists, so much that she sees him kissing his brother and is about to ruin his entire life because she doesn't understand that she, as a 17 year old student, can't be dating the 27 year old teacher she's obsessed with. Why, she doesn't understand! If he can kiss his own brother, why shouldn't he be able to kiss her, a minor, too? She was just so damn confused, she doesn't understand pedophilia or incest at all the poor thing, so of course she had to talk about it with her dad, who is neurotypical, thank fuck, making him magically able to understand the taboo of incest and have a talk with the principal. She just didn't know that stalking a teacher back to his home to see him kiss his brother was bad at all! Like, everyone knew that she did that. FUCKING EVERYONE KNEW AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO SAY A FUCKING WORD. Oh, but it's innocent, it's fine, except at this very moment we need to and only then it's an issue. It's like... there are phrases here and there that are like "she can't help it, it's not her fault, it's not out of malice", but I am sorry, I question VERY MUCH why the fuck would you, you as an author, would ever do a plot like this in the very first fucking place if you didn't see autistic people and mentally ill people like a nuisances to deal with. It's so fucking grotesque because on top of that, it's just plain unnecesary? I don't know what the fucking need was? To pad more time? To have SOME form of conflict there? A conflict that doesn't last jack fucking shit anyway and is resolved by, who else, another neurotypical person who basically gaslights the autistic girl! Fucking hurray! Like, all the scenes related to this girl always felt SO fucking off, because when the protagonist sees her fidgeting a lot and not being able to sit still, he thinks "could this be some kind of teenge girl issue" and there's so much talk about how she doesn't look people straight to the eyes when talking that my fucking eyebrows are on Neptune. But this final bullshit is the nail on the coffin. Jesus fucking christ, the ableism of this whole fucking thing turned me off so fucking bad. The rest of the book is fine, I am kinda annoyed with the older brother being controlling and judgemental without ever really being accountable for it, but I can live with that. Anything to do with these two characters, though, this was some huge fucking bullshit and I DID NOT need that on a book I hoped was just about two hot brothers getting together.
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Hey uh.. sorry if this is so rambly and long a lot happened and is going on. Also tw for talk of genitals, mentions of medical abuse and intersexism
So.. my (23 afab) balls dropped on me last April. Didn't know I had them ok lol. Anyways, I already suspected I was intersex for almost a year at that point as well.. the previous summer I was finally able to pull back my clitoral hood (the opening was and is way too small) and it looked /looks exactly like the tip of a penis. (Idk I guess I was in a weird state of denial before April? But I've also delt with a lot of medical gaslighting before so..) but since the ball drop everything's changing. More body hair, acne, appetite, fat n muscle distribution, period gettin weird, etc. Like I'm on a low dose of T which yeah duh testes finally dropped.
I honestly think I flew under the radar at birth. And my puberty was normal all things considered. I've always had a clitoris bigger than normal but I've looked and never found any surgery scars 1. And 2. My family on my dad's side has a VERY long history of medical abuse. We're rightfully VERY suspectful of doctors. Also my mom's a nurse and knows when doctors are bullshitting (sidenote but I actually did need braces and once they were finally off they tried to talk to us to get more work done. It wasn't necessary but they still tried cuz America and Capitalism hurray. She just said hmmm ok and we walked away and I never had another app. with them lmaoo). Anyways, yeah I can totally see this flying under the radar at birth. I didn't take any sorts of medications either growing up n had a pretty normal puberty. I haven't asked them yet tho cuz omg NO that's way too fuckin awkward. I've just been chilling rn for the most part. I also haven't seen the doctor yet cuz I also have my own medical trauma :D! (Also now's just not the time financially) And I know once that's on my medical record it's on my medical record and I'm not ready to deal with doctors not being normal about me.
Just.. Idk what to do right now. I don't even know what I have either. Like, no fuckin clue?? I've tried to research it but medical texts are not easy reads and are often violently intersexist.. I don't even know how to navigate this medically and to keep myself safe from medical abuse when the time comes. All I know is I don't want my testes removed or have any cosmetic surgery to make my genitals more "normal" and that doctors will generally fight me on that. I don't know even know if I want to tell my mother about it? I trust her with other medical stuff she's unironically been a lifesaver before (and helped me navigate through the medical system too) but like 1. One she's my mom that's fuckin awkward and 2. I know her she's going to blame herself. Wonder what she ate/drank while pregnant with me and that the intersexism that I'll face will be her fault. Idk I'm still debating that one
I've talked to friends about it and both my sister and cousin. They've all been amazing and supportive :'). I've found some community and some resources which have been really helpful too. Other then that tho I have no idea where to go from here. So uh yeah..
Thank you for reading this and thank you for your time!! I appreciate it :)
Thank you so much for sharing, and I apologize for answering very late. I appreciate your patience with me and your courage in sharing.
I'm very glad you've found and have a good support system, such as in people like your friends, sister, and cousin. But I hear and sympathize with you on your struggles as well. You aren't obligated to come out as intersex to anyone, and no matter what your reasons are, they are valid. And it can completely be an awkward topic to talk about. Everyone is different in what they are comfortable with talking about, especially regarding topics that delve into sexual health and sexual matters. If you do choose to tell your mom, or anyone for that matter, remember this: You are not responsible for their reactions! If you told your mother and she blames herself for it, that isn't your responsibility, nor is it your fault. You cannot control other's reactions.
I completely empathize with you on how hard it is to find any resources and how hard it is figuring out where to go. When I learned that I was intersex, finding resources was incredibly difficult, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do after that. Was I supposed to tell people? Not tell people? Learn as much as possible and consider it in every medical decision? Not worry about it at all and never consider it? Everyone has a different intersex journey, and I can't tell you what's the right or wrong thing to do. With time and with lived experience, you'll slowly learn more about yourself and what you want to do with your experiences.
This isn't really exactly your experience, but hearing you talk reminded me of this TED talk I've listened to before. Maybe you'll find it interesting or useful.
Again, thank you so much for sharing. I wish you the best of luck during your intersex journey and experience.
#asks#Anonymous#discussion of genitalia#discussion of medical abuse#discussion of intersexism#genitalia
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I don't really talk about much on here other than my heart aches and sad thoughts.. and I realize it's easy to paint myself as miserable and broken from another perspective. to be fair though thats what I've been using this space to do, it helps me in way, to be able to get some of my reoccurring thoughts out so that they don't bother me as much.
I wanted to do something a little different today though, in the sense of writing, and that would be to just give a life update, and to sum up what's been going on and what I've been going through these past couple of months.
I'm making it, little by little, mentally and emotionally, I recently lost someone very dear to me and my mind and heart have been going through all kinds of turmoil, some weeks I'm okay and I feel myself growing, but others I find myself miserable and relapsing into things I thought I escaped.
I do my best though, to count my blessings, for I know my life has a lot of things to be thankful for, I got a new position back in December designing kitchens for people and becoming a salesman (woohoo), I have my own space to live in where I live comfortably financially, i have my own car with my own insurance (hurray to be being an adult), on my days that I don't feel like living I tend to find a lot to live for through my family, mainly my mom and my neices who give me so much life, those little ones make me so excited for fatherhood it's something I look forward to greatly, and with my buzz cut I've been getting plenty of compliments from people and it's done a lot for my self Confidence, I feel a sense of freedom I didn't before, however it does feel weird not having long hair, I've always had some sort of long hair with my look.
just so many little things, most of the time I feel like it's all distractions, it's all just me trying to escape my troubles, keeping myself busy as much as I can. it sucks but that's my reality, and it all goes back to her. I ponder on that, how badly a heart can miss someone, in every form, and thats what I go through daily, it's like a wave that pushes through me but some days that torrent lasts all day..bottom line is miss her, I miss her voice, her company, her smile and eyes, every little thing, and I ask myself why, why do I feel that way about someone who broke my heart?, and I know why.. it's why I cut my hair, it's why I've been doing all these little things, to forgive all that's been done to me and to remember the good. once you get past those thorns you get to see and experience all those beautiful things about that person again, all the things that made you fall in love with them to begin with.
yes, how things ended still bothers me, it hurts me everyday and I wish I could take back so much that has happened.. I wish I never sent that merry Christmas message, sometimes I wish she just left it on read and moved on, i wish i never picked up that phone call and i wouldn't have if it wasnt for her name popping up on my phone..just anything to have prevented that last phone call..
but anyways, still I live on, still I grow in my own ways.. yes some days can be quite unbearable and the loneliness just eats away at me, but I still do everything I can to just move one foot in front of the other, it's a lot of work to convince myself that this is a life worth living, even on days where I feel like death sound so much sweeter.. yes I have a lot to be thankful for, but somedays it does get hard, but i think thats normal in a way. God somedays I just feel like I'm floating, just aimlessly going through my day with no thoughts or emotions.. it scares me, it really does..
I know I can be miserable, I know my life can seem meaningless but I'll always do my best if not for myself then for others around me because I know a lot of people depend on me..
anyways, not too much going on with me, some work drama that I'll get into another time, tomorrow I'm going to have my morning walk and prepare for my day, and maybe in the evening I'll attend this concert just to give myself something to do, should be a fun weekend.
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on what planet did i get that much experience in this chapter? holy smokes.
no really i had to literally double check that experience counter. but it's right. god damn. 1200 experience in this dinky little chapter? it really surprises me because i wasn't expecting to get more than 800 experience, no less 150% of that. i can attribute that entirely to bringing no promoted units + bringing a bunch of benchwarmers to get as much experience as possible to soften the blow, but still.
with that in mind, i brought guy + lyn (the "we're going to fucking massacre the bottom fort" team), eliwood (he killed two pirates. good for him.), serra + priscilla + ninian (obvious), fiora + florina (that eastern fort was surprisingly annoying to deal with because of the purge bishop, but preemptively barrier-ing neutered him), and bartre + kent (probably the most precarious of the three fort duos, but bartre loves getting WTA and has enough HP that the ballistas are a joke and kent. . . well he's sure trying.).
funds took a massive hit here for two reasons: i promoted two units (priscilla and florina) and i recruited farina (you didn't think i was gonna renege on that, did you?). in spite of that, i canceled out the loss of an elysian whip by getting the basically free one in this chapter, so it's only a net loss of 30k and change as opposed to 40k. hurray? i'm almost certainly not promoting fiora at this point because, god bless her, she is great value florina and though they do have a nice C support that probably wouldn't be too hard to get to B or maybe even A, there's really no reason to use 3 fliers. heath and florina will basically turbotroll anything i want them to at this point, and while fiora was helpful at times, i just don't see myself fielding her much beyond the next chapter or two.
oh yeah i need to talk about how the chapter went. uhhh well it went kind obviously. fiora and florina raided the east after getting barrier'd by priscilla (which got her enough experience to promote), and they basically were unkillable at that point. the pirates COULD have been scary, but they weren't because only like one out of four hit. guy and lyn had such a trivial time tackling the pirates + warrior in the south that it's almost not even worth mentioning. there was a swordslayer guy, but he was off taking a piss break like 5 tiles north of where everyone else was, so avoiding his aggro range was also trivial.
the screw turning happened with kent and bartre because they were gonna have to juggle the lion's share of enemies with all those god damn cavs + pascal. pascal is like, not the scariest boss ever, but he does move and killing him is a pretty significant task. i put all my hopes and dreams on bartre landing a crit with the killer axe and, well, he did. that left pascal with like no HP left so kent scored the kill and that was that. speaking of kent, he's not nearly tank-y enough to handle the tsunami of suicide units, even on a forest square (the ballistas that are usually a joke to bartre are a much bigger issue for kent, who isn't dodging them and not tanking them like bartre can). so, after losing an attempt (after NEARLY having him tank everything, uwaaaaaaa), nini's grace patched him up and he was fine. thank god for the buff rings man. i cannot believe i didn't use them much until recently. what was i thinking.
anyways last thing to mention is that i could've finished this chapter a turn early if not waiting for farina. the extra turn is worth the. . . loss in 20k gold (arguably more if you're one of those "20k hard gold is 40k liquid gold" types). recruiting this character i'm likely to only use in like one chapter is important, damn it (read: i'm trying to give myself a sizable disadvantage to compensate for the mkdd advantage + you always gotta recruit everyone you can. you gotta)
biggest thing i'm sitting on rn is who to promote now. i don't want to use either orion's bolts because lol why would i. i'm gonna use a hero crest on bartre (he is unironically a good unit for me at this point + karla isn't gonna recruit herself), a knight crest on kent, and. . . probably a guiding ring on serra? and that might be it. i'm very iffy on that last one but serra's close to 20 and staff experience really is a lifesaver. her promotion gains aren't even that stellar, nor am i even thinking of using light magic (those tomes are expensive), i just really want to stop her healing from being wasted experience, ykwim? but yeah, after that unless i'm really hurting on experience (which i shouldn't be), i doubt i'll be promoting anyone else. only other unit i'd even really want to promote right now is maybe fiora. guy unfortunately was a wrecking ball in early game but now will enjoy the warmth of camp away from all the fighting and danger because he's just not that necessary anymore. i'm also obviously not promoting either lyn or eliwood, but, lol, who does in ranked runs? it's still a shame that their promotion items are a huge funds loss, because it feels weird not using either of them, but oh well.
i might bust out unfulfilled heart today just because it's an easy chapter and there's no tactics constraint to worry about meeting. i still want to finish this run before the year ends, so i do need to start getting back into the habit of playing this game again.
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16) has your tc ever given you detention ? If so, what was it like ? -> never but oh man would it be an experience having to stay with this man for one whole hour with no one else in the room (//∇//)
17) has your teacher ever failed you? If so how did you react ? If not how would you react ? -> never did and if he did I'd overthink it way too much but I think I'd feel guilty and I wouldn't really keep grudges against ☆ for that lol
18) what are your teachers hobbies/interests ? Are they similar to yours ? -> YES he loves history, the history of arts and literature just as I do !!
19) have you ever spoken on the phone to your tc ? What did you talk about ? -> no :[ but I can't imagine his voice over the phone omg I'd combust wth ?
20) if you had your tc's class during quarantine, how were the zoom calls like? If not have you spoken to your tc since quarantine? -> I didn't even know him back then so no
21) if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go what would you do? -> literally anywhere. This man has soo much knowledge he could make anything become perfect like yes teach me about the history behind that monument ( ≧∀≦) as for what we'd do... idk simply taking long walks through the city sounds like heaven to me tbh
22) does your tc have any nicknames for you? -> "the exceptional student" ? Lmao he's called me that twice : when we first met and when I came to one of his classes as a "spectator" kinda and yup tell me how much I'm special I wanna hear all about it yup yup
23) have you ever cried in front of your tc: why? how did they react? -> never but this made me think about how he'd react and idk tbh I think he'd be comforting but not in the overly affectionate way... more in the actively trying to find solutions to what's weighting on me way ? lol
24) have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc? -> never but omg I'd love to TT you guys get to experience that ? I'm jealous...
25) do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers? -> probably the closest to his colleagues and I've met only two so far other than ☆ so I have no idea how their relations are
26) what does your tc's voice sound like? -> oh.my.god. this one's going to be long... his voice is deep like deep deep but warm and super sweet too ? Not when he's teaching tho, when he's teaching his voice has that experienced tone, having repeated the same things for years and years and... just the most gorgeous voice ever. The perfect mixture between gentle and firm, I could listen to him talk for hours
27) do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher? -> he's literally the best teacher ever <3 he knows his subject like no other and you can just feel how eager he is to pass that knowledge to his students and I admire that about ☆ so much
28) does your tc prefer books, shows of movies ? -> I think books ? Man has written 2 books, probably has read more than a hundred since now and just knows so much about literature, there's no way
29) is your tc stern or easy going, in class ? -> I wouldn't say ☆ is either stern or easy going, rather right in the middle between being too friendly and being too strict. His students respect and admire him and he respects them back
30) how would you describe you and your tc's relationship? -> still pretty rudimentary? ^^" hopefully something I plan on changing next year (only 35 days left hurray)
31) do you address your tc by their first or last name? -> last name ! First name would be just too familiar imo I don't even call my past tc I've been in contact with for over two years by their first name so yeah...
This was funny to do hehe idk if anyone is gonna read that but oh well ♡
am gonna do @baeby-tc 's july tc challenge cuz I'm bored and can't stop thinking of him ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა
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1) describe your tc's physical appearance -> tall, fully grey hair that he pushes back, wears glasses and has warm brown eyes. Has small wrinkles at the corner of his eyes and smile wrinkles too !
2) what's the first thing you've ever said to your tc ? -> I told him how nice it was to meet him and thanked him for coming when he had classes to teach 10 minutes later ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
3) is you tc single or taken ? And are you single or taken ? -> ☆ is single for as far as I know and I've been too since I was born
4) is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerd type or the artsy type ? -> def more of the nerd type (but I believe he's a bit of the other two as well)
5) if you and your tc were in HS together, do you think you'd be friends ? -> if we put my shyness aside then yes ! We're both passionate about history and literature and are both perfectionists so I believe we would ૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა
6) name one song that reminds you of you tc and explain why it reminds you of them -> I'd say "gymnopedie №1" of Satie. He just has that really reassuring and warm but also wise and nostalgic aura around him and it's everything this music makes me feel
7) is you tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type ? What's one outfit you'd love to see them wear ? -> ☆ is more of the simple type : shirts and pants, cired black shoes... but God does he look good in those. The way he rolls his sleeves up ? Pure perfection. Angels would cry. There's no other outfit I'd want to him into, really
8) would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc's subject if it meant you two could be together ? -> that was actually the plan before I even met him (〃ノωノ) history has always been my passion and I've always wanted to teach it, seeing how great of a positive impact my teachers have made on me... so yes !
9) does your tc drink or smoke ? -> not that I know, again. Tho I'm pretty sure he must drink some wine here and there
10) name one item that is always on your tc's desk -> I've been to only one of his classes as I'm not his student yet, but I can totally figure ☆ always having a book on his desk
11) has your tc ever done something that has either thrown you off, angered you, etc ? If so, what did they do ? -> nothing.
12) has your tc have any past jobs that you know of before becoming a teacher ? -> well, he's been a historian before starting to teach so I guess that counts?
13) has you tc any kids or siblings ? If yes how many ? -> 0 kids, idk for siblings
14) are you taking your tc's class next year ? -> *in two years (;´-`)
15) has your tc ever met your parents ? If you were there, what was the meeting like ? -> that hasn't happened but it's a possibility and it's making me scream internally. I have to be the best student he's ever seen omg
*I'll answer the rest either later or tmrw ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡*
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#tc challenge#tcc feelings#teacher x student#teacher crush#male teacher#teacher attachment#teacher#male tcc#tc blog#tc community#tc crush#tc confessions#july tc challenge
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grecia reading The Trials of Apollo #1: the hidden oracle
first impression: the covers of this saga look actually dope
"My name is apollo. I used to be a god" hi sweetheart
"I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy." can u shut the fuck up
WHO TF IS LAST-NAMED PAPADOPOULOS IM CRYING 💀💀
A four thousand year old god being afraid of a 12y.o girl? this is amazing
“I know someone who might help. He lives on the Upper East Side. Take me to him, and I shall reward you.” let it be who i'm thinking of please 😭😭😭
"Zeus did not answer. He was probably too busy recording my humiliation to share on Snapchat." Help me 💀💀
“Let’s find Percy Jackson.”' WAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭
"For children blessed with an immortal parent, they were strangely sensitive about their backgrounds." this bitch didnt just say blessed
"the young man swung open the apartment door and said, “Why?” As usual, I was struck by his resemblance to his father, Poseidon. He had the same sea-green eyes, the same dark tousled hair, the same handsome features that could shift from humor to anger so easily." PERCY MY BELOVED SON, MY FIRSTBORN HI BABY BOY 😭😭😭😭😭
"sacred sybil" ??? "Are u cursed?" what the actual fuck apollo 😭😭
“The war ended in August. It’s January.” percy is 17 im gonna fucking SOB 😭
sally finally got to write her book <333
"He smiled, and some of that old demigod mischief twinkled in his eyes." STOP 😭😭😭
“Some of the best demigods have gotten their start by blowing up toilets.” *sobs in the lightning thief* 🤧
"I did not like the way she was grinning at Percy. I didn’t want the girl to develop a crush. We might never get out of here" LMFAO everyone falls in love with my boy i know he's so gorgeous he's stunning he's mesmerizing 😭
Because Poseidon 😭
“I keep thinking, I have now killed every single thing in Greek mythology. But the list never seems to end.” “You haven’t killed me yet” “Don’t tempt me.” percy is so done w apollo's shit 💀
"The calmness of his eyes, the smile resting easily on his lips, the way his hair curled around his ears…" oh? look at that! im sobbing!
"crotchkicker mccaffrey" I CACKLED
WAAAAAAAAHH NICO HI MY BABY 😭
significant annoyance
"they were so cute together it made me feel desolate" istg 😭😭
not paolo's arms JFJKFKS 💀💀💀
"She's a communist!" JFKFKDJF THIS CSNT BE REAL 💀
apollo sayin' gay relationships w gods can also have children might be the best thing i've read
MY CHILDREN KAYLA AND AUSTIN ARE MISSING WHAT
paolo got his leg sewed for god's sake 💀
will being a doctor in charge and nico his little nurse this is good food
rachel elizabeth dare my redhead beloved so pleased to see u again !! <3
rachel jealous over apollo having more oracles bestie pls 😭
apollo using meg's rings as a necklace </3
apollo's thoughts about daphne in the woods oh the poetic tragedy of a lost love <\3
"rhea's laugh reminded me of a piglet with asthma" HELP ME??💀💀
who's the emperors??? nero??? caligula??? commodus?? TELL ME
OH IT'S NERO
apollo's melancholy singing for daphne & hyacinthus <\333
'“Sing. Sing like you did before" "I—I can’t. My voice is almost gone.” Besides, I thought, I don’t want to risk losing you again.' man dont do this to me 😭😭😭
"I love the Internet! It is impossible for me to fade completely now. I am immortal on Wikipedia!” i DID SEARCH THIS DUDE, sorry apollo 💀💀
MEG WHAT DID YOU DO
"Artemis shot me in the groin because I was flirting with her Hunters." JDFKDFK GO BESTIE💀
"I stared at my beloved Dumpster waif. Yes, somehow over the past week she had become beloved to me." awe 🤧
The dryads & zephyros helping apollo in the woods <3
"Will, Kayla, Austin. Come with me" "And Nico. I have a doctor's note" boi ur doctor's note only consist on being by will's side 😭😭
WAAAAAAAHHH MY OCEAN BABY BOY IS HERE 😭😭
"I wanted to flirt with Chiara and steal her away from Damien…or perhaps steal Damien away from Chiara, I wasn’t sure yet." this dude is so painfully bisexual it kills me 😭
percy & rachel together again it's been so long since i read them interact <3
MY FIRE BOY AND MY GIRL ARE BACKKKK 🔥🌿
they're beating the shit out of my boy leo 💀💀
"When they first saw each other, Percy and Calypso had hugged awkwardly. I hadn’t witnessed such a tense greeting since Patroclus met Achilles’s war prize, Briseis. (Long story. Juicy gossip. Ask me later.)" DUDE YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME
"piece of torta" help. also my water boi & fire boi giving each other a high five 😭
apollo, leo & calypso walking together to the amphitheater <3
more of my reviews & reactions of the rrverse books here: percy jackson & the olympians, the heroes of olympus, RRverse mini stories
#i didn't last too much reading this HURRAY#anyway my sub-notes:#• at the beginning of the book i looked up some playlists of apollo/cabin 7 and#I found one that had 'Dumb Ways to Die' from that phone game in it and it was just so accurate for this book 💀#• why is percy so juvenile now it makes my heart ACHE STOP IT#where is the sassy little 12 y.o i welcomed to my heart as my son 😭#• definitely the funniest parts were paolo's 😭😭#when he talked shit about everyone in portuguese and no one understood anything 😭😭😭#i swear for gods i laughed for like 10 minutes imagining that 😭#• apollo & meg's paternal/fraternal relationship pls it owns my heart now#also how apollo constantly thinks she's annoying but internally says he would do anything to keep her safe 😭#this 16 acne-covered teen boi & his 12 y.o little monster got in my feels man#gods bless#anyway that's all i think#oh i almost forgot#• apollo apologyzing for his past bad decisions and mistakes was probably my fav character development i've seen in the sagas#that's a +1 point for da sun god 🙏🏻☀️#anyway that sure is all#what's the next book called?#toa#the trials of apollo#apollo#meg mccaffrey#pjo/hoo#pjo#hoo#nico di angelo#will solace#yes grecia reads sometimes
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Something a little bit personal. It got longer than I thought so the rest under the cut.
So, even before Corona hit, I had done the (for me) unthinkable:
I had finished a novel.
I have started many ever since I was a snot nosed little brat, but had never actually finished one because I lost the drive or hated what I had written. This time I had an idea that I really wanted to see completed and I told myself that no matter how much I hated my own writing, I would finish it. So I plotted the whole story out and I powered through to get the first draft done. And I did. The first draft was, as expected, horrible (in my eyes) but after lots of rewriting and revising it got better and better and after many months it was finally at a point where I felt it was complete and tried to send it to publishers.
And no one wanted it.
And that was kinda a bummer, but also not surprising because publishers get thousands of stories daily. Why would they want my weird mix of modern fantasy + found family + crime story out of all of them?
I told myself that I would self publish, but I never got around to it because even though I liked the story that I had written (and friends and family told me they liked what they had read) I was never a 100 % happy with the wording. The sentences felt clunky to me. The emotions didn't feel nearly as powerful put into words as they were supposed to.
During the writing process I often felt like I couldn't articulate what I wanted to say in an impactful way. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but put into German sentences they just lacked the bite, the punch.
I liked what I had written, but I wasn't really happy with it and the rejection letters didn't help any.
And so it collected dust on my shelf. My first finished novel and nothing to show for it because I didn't feel like it was worth getting it out there when I myself had so many grievances with it.
I sometimes look at it and think about the characters I created and that are so dear to me and hate myself for being so insecure about it all. For letting my dream of my own book become buried under a pile of self-doubt and apathy. I felt like a failure. It felt like I had given up an inch before the finish line but unable to pull myself up again.
Starting with fanfiction again and getting so many amazing comments about how I have a way with words, how I manage to convey emotions with my writing and lots other wonderful encouragements, I often found myself wishing I had written my novel in English.
It does sound crazy, but I've always been better with English than with my native tongue when it comes to writing. Not necessarily when it comes to grammar or spelling (as you'll probably have guessed by now) but when it comes to putting emotions and a story on paper, English has always been so much easier for me. I kid you not, while writing my novel I often pictured how I would write the sentence in English and then translated that into German. Totally bonkers, but true.
So yeah, me sitting here, wishing I could have written my book in English.
And then having a "Duh" moment because I can! No one is stopping me!
English is not a barrier in the german book market, it's actually a way to reach even more people.
And if you self publish, the language matters even less.
So, I just wanna give this a try.
A last hurray, a last rebellion in the wake of defeat. A last time breathing life into a beloved project that never left my mind.
I just wanna try again.
So why am I making a big ass post which actually can be summarized as: "I will translate my own book into another language."?
In part to keep myself accountable, to maybe help you keep me accountable ("Yo Ace, working on that novel? Don't slack now!")
But also in part because after "A place for Crows" is done, I won't start another big project like that until the novel thing is done. I WILL STILL WRITE FANFICTION, I WILL NEVER STOP WRITING FANFICTION! But don't expect another over 100k monster out of me too soon. Since my novel is actually done I think translating and revising won't take too long but I wanna do this right and concentrate on that.
As I said, I won't stop writing fanfiction, making art and diy projects and interacting here and with my beloved fandoms, so I really hope you'll stick around for my dazzling personality and stories.
Thank you for your attention.
#Personal#just thinking#Just contemplating#Just taking a shot at my dream again#I won't give up this time
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Hi!! So, I've been reading the Stoner Madrigal series for a while and I just wanted to tell you and @lariskapargitay much I love it (I didn't know witch one of you to send this so I'mma send both of you, let's hear a hurray for indecision)
In your last work someone was kinda rude on the comments so I felt compelled to write this to spread a bit of positivity (and possibly to vent and fangirl a little about your work)
SO, I got personally offended when the person said it felt like you didn't know where the story was going?? Like, I felt that burn in my soul bc if there's something I'm absolutely positive about is that you guys are not lost at ALL. Y'all know what you're doing and how to break us little by little (appreciative). LIKE ITS THE WAY I go back a bit in the works and there's little hints about stuff that happened and will possibly happen, like you're giving us clues and I feel like fucking sherlock holmes trying to piece everything together and coming up with theory's about what happened.
Also, I LOOOVE the fact that you're taking you're time writing Pepa going back and forth because this is how you do a 👏good 👏 character 👏 development. If you just made her sorry in the first few works it'd feel rushed and not worked for. Your Pepa always thought what she was doing was okay, because Vera did it too and on that note WHAT AN AMAZING WORK YOU DID AT MAKING THE OTHER FAMILY CHARACTERS???? Like all of Alma's siblings and Félix's and Agustin's family... Y'all didn't have to slap so hard but you did and I love it.
On a very serious side note, Agustin and Pepa just gave me such a bi panic??? Like the fic where they get together for a month had me wanting to scream at the top of a roof and then bang my head through a wall (but in the best of ways yk??)
But yeah, I'm really glad Pepa had to have a lot of different realizations bc my girl needed it and you guys just made her character have so many fucking layers she could fight an onion. Thank you so much for writing, the Stoner Madrigals give me life actually, I can't believe you went from funny times getting high with grammy to "yeah let's fuck this hole family and the readers mental health but like, in a good way :D yeehah"
(fun fact, I just wrote this whole thing on my notes and then went to share the ask and high pitch screamed when I saw neither of you let me go anon JDHKSJSKAJMSJSKW guess I'll just shyly die in the corner)
🥺❤️ omg thank you so much!
You have NO IDEA how much this means to me and my co-writer. We’ve had so many negative comments on the last chapter of the story. There were a few negative comments here and there after “Baby Blue” but for some reason “Dazed and Confused” is the chapter that made a lot of people upset and it was really disheartening.
So I absolutely love your kind words! I was getting insecure about the direction of the story because that’s the one thing everyone kept saying. I was even seeing posts on here of another author comparing our story to theirs and it made me really upset. That person has a great story with great reviews so it hurt that they felt the need to bring my story down to put theirs up.
This really made my morning by seeing this! We’ve been foreshadowing everything from the very beginning and the ending has been something we’ve been building for weeks as well! I said this in so many comments but it takes time to build to a good ending that doesn’t feel rushed. If we wanted a bad story then this whole series would’ve ended a month ago after the secrets came out. So, I’m glad you noticed the amount of work we’ve put into the series ❤️
Seriously, thank you so much! You deserve all the warm hugs and sunshine in the world. You’re a treasure ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🍃
#encanto#pepa madrigal#julieta madrigal#la familia madrigal#madrigal triplets#bruno madrigal#encanto fic#stoner madrigals#words can hurt even on fanfic comments#be like this person#this person is nice
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Some classic papara/charus headcanons because there just isn't enough love for them:
I'm usually using nicknames for them. Papyrus is Rus and Chara is Cherry. Why, you may ask? Because I thought it would be cute!
They're both adults here! Rus is 21 and Chara 20.
Chara is in my headcanon an undead demon posessing a human body. The body was made through dark magic. I thought that it would make more sense than to just say: Oh look! They got revived through some sort of machine Hurray!
I'll try to keep my posts genderless. I actually prefer to make Chara female, but everyone has their own imagination. So chose the gender yourself! :D
Papyrus is the active and healthy eating one while Chara is a bit lazy and eats whatever they can. Altough Rus tries to balance his food in the best way possible, Chara always manages to spoil him a little bit here and there. It's like a special talent.
Chara loves to bake! They learned it from Toriel when they fell down into the Underground. And now they try to master it in their second life. From pastries and cakes to cookies, Chara would make you anything! And Papyrus just can't get enough of their proud smile whenever the pastries turn out just fine.
Papyrus is a bookworm! He could read a whole library without getting bored. Whenever he gets the chance he talks about his favorite books with Chara. Mostly when they're cuddling. Altough it always ends up in him telling them a whole chapter of hus books in a very epic way. Most people wouldn't call it relaxing but Chara thinks it's adorable. They really don't mind.
Rus likes to give Chara nicknames! Sometimes he calls them things like Darling, Sweetheart, Dear or his favorite one: Cherry. Why you may ask? Oh because they get red like one every time he calls them a different name. He simps very hard for them, there's no denying it.
Chara is a gamer! So Papyrus had to embrace that part into his life too. They collect just like him figurines and various games. And he's totally cool with it! They share the trait of collecting things after all. But when it comes to actually playing games? Chara always wins. They let him win from time to time so he doesn't feel too bad about loosing.
People treated them both very wrong. Chara ran away from the human world in hopes to escape. Meanwhile Papyrus was never really accepted in the world of monsters and wished to go to the surface. But being there they both realized how simillar their worlds could actually be. And now they help each other accepting them and themselves. It is a hard way, but together they can master it!
Their familys were not okay with their love for each other at first. Sans didn't trust Chara because of what they actually are. And Asgore and Toriel didn't want their child to be taken away again. But that didn't stop them! They met up in secret in the city, or with friends at other places! Mostly at night, when they could just live in the moment. Thankfully everyone accepted their relationship after some time. Now things are peaceful, but sometimes they wonder for how long it'll stay this way.
Both of them have a different life when it comes to work. Cherry works at Asgores new flower shop! It's located in the middle of the city and beloved by many people. It never gets boring there. Meanwhile Rus tries out all kinds of different jobs. He still hasn't found the right one though. He hopes to find something that makes him feel more complete and accepted in society!
Rus has a room only for painting! He loves to paint realistic landscapes or objects. Sometimes he even uses stone or wood as a canvas and paints it over. Just like he did with the Snowdin bridges! Cherry loves his work but can't swing a brush at all. They're much better with pencils. But even then has it been years since they last drew something. The last time was with Asriel, when they were children. Now Papyrus tries to change that and teaches them how to paint! It's a very slow progress, but he doesn't mind. It's more fun to paint a world together after all!
Having children is a very bad topic for them. Papyrus wants to be a father someday. He loves children and couldn't imagine something more beautiful with his partner than to raise a child. But Chara? They can't imagine to have a child at all! They're not ready in the slightest. It's no surprise, since they missed out on half of their current lifetime. But they're ready enough when it comes to raise two small kittens! One is called Chocy and the other one Cinnamon. Honestly, what other names did you expect? Chara loves food.
#imagine your otp#undertale#papara#papyrus x chara#charus#god i love them so much#my precious babys#Papyrus#Chara#headcanon time wohoooo#does this count as small bits and pieces of a fanfic?#if so please write me a complete one xD#i need more papara content hhhhh#they're cute#my otp for life#mieze is rambling again#save my from my hc ocean#i'm drowning in it#i'll probably make a second post soon#too many thoughts#head empty#only papara tonight#anyway my english isn't perfect so- whoops! excuse my mistakes please :D#since you read all of these: congrats. here have a cookie! *gives you a cookie from the secret cookie jar* but don't tell anyone!#miezes headcanons#miezes rambles
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I have a lot of feelings about the casting for the new Dutch Les Mis production next year. Or well at least about my first impressions about those who are already casted. So imma make a post about it whether you like it or not.
The new Dutch production is just as in the West End the new production and apparently Mackintosh was very closely involved (hurray /s)
Let's start with Valjean: honestly my first impression of the actor was "Oh he'd make a great Dmitri in Anastasia." (Turned out he did play Dmitri in the Dutch run of Anastasia so I was right about that.) I don't know his voice well enough to say anything about whether he can sing Valjean's songs and I am not sure if he's classically trained. But he does have a pretty good voice from what I could find so far. My main issue is though, that he looks younger than Enjolras. This is more an issue with the Enjolras casting but I'll touch onto that later. I'd have to see him in costume before I can make any final judgements about him looking young being an issue, but it's a bit worrying. He's reading the brick though
Javert: honestly this is a casting I'm exited for. Freek Bartels was a pretty great Enjolras during the Dutch 2008 run and I feel like he would make a great Javert too. At first I wasn't too sure if he could get the unhinged vibes Javert has, but now I think about it more, I am pretty sure he can and will. He has been in a lot of shows including several classic shows and, like I mentioned, Les Mis before. So Freek, don't let me down
Enjolras: where do I even start.. not to say that Enjolras has to he played by the hottest actors out there, but Enjolras is supposed to have a certain charm around him. This actor has none of that. He's the most generic looking man I have ever seen (absolutely no offence), he looks honestly a bit too old and from the few clips of him I could find, it didn't look like he has the most stage presence, which I think is quite an important thing for Enjolras to have. You have to believe everyone wants to follow this man, you have to believe and understand why Grantaire looks up to this man so much. You have to believe him in his role and in his passion. Maybe Mark (the actor) will end up surprising me, but I don't have much hope. However, credit where credit is due, he does have a pretty good voice and looking at where he studied and his former roles he is probably classically trained or at least has been in several classical musicals before. So at least he can bring the opera sound to the performance that it's supposed to have.
Éponine: this is a casting that doesn't suprise me. A few days before I knew they were gonna bring Les Mis back I was literally thinking about how, if they were gonna bring les mis back, Vajèn van den Bosch would be cast as either Éponine or Cosette. This is mostly because she's Vajèn cause she's just kinda everywhere, but also because she is a very good actress and singer. She has been in several classical musicals and she absolutely has the voice for the role of Éponine.
Cosette: I am pretty sure the actress just graduated. And this seems to be her first big musical so all I can say is that I'm exited for her. I am sure she'll do great.
Fantine: ah yes, Channah. I've seen her in a show before as older Nala in the Lion King. This was a long time ago though and I don't remeber much of her performance. The only other role I could find was that she apparently played Tina in the German run of the Tina Turner musical and that she makes (Christian) pop music now. Honestly she can sing, but I am really worried she's just gonna sound like a popsinger instead of bringing the classical sound she's supposed to have in the role.
And last for now, Madame Thénardier: apparently Mackintosh was insanely enthusiastic about her casting but idk if that's even good anymore. Personally I don't know her and I could find that many clips of her so all I can say is that she looks very similar to most actresses cast in this role.
I am still confused about the fact that they already casted Madame Thénardier but not Marius?? Nor Thénardier himself?? There was this "les mis in a nutshell" thing the new cast did, and obviously Marius was mentioned several times. However, because there was no actor playing Marius yet, he couldn't give his side of the story so if you didn't know anything about the show you have absolutely no idea who this random Marius dude they're talking about is.
They also keep saying they've casted all the main characters, but then where's Marius?? Is Madame Thénardier a main character? And not her husband who has more to do? I am confused.
#Valjean and Javert are both played by gay actors#so Valvert? /hj#I do have tickets to see this next year so I'll give my thoughts again when ive seen it#these are just based on first impressions#les misérables#les mis#les miserables 2023#casting impressions#dutch les mis#les miserables cast
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Personal recap Skate America 2019 - Ladies SP
Gotta say against my prejudices this was a rather unexpected SP result wise 😲
Kaori and Wakaba did it!!! 👏👏👏
Kaori got the most PCS, hurray! ❤️ This was a stunning SP! 😍
Kaori's program is just made for her, such a breath of fresh air in so many slow musics. The one spin level costs her the lead of the SP, but I am really happy she delivered! Ans what a dress! ❤️
Same for Wakaba! With how last season went I didn't quite know what to think of her, but she delivered as well and also cool different program. I stan!
Bradie Tennell - it's an open statement that I don't like her skating - BUT she was fast and clean here. As always I do like the program, the concept of the program is good and suits her well. Nice job from her team, though I don't like the costume. Does she deserve the lead? Well biased as I am I would say no...I mean c'mon the program was great but more PCS than Anna and Wakaba??? 🤔
Anna Shcherbakova - This wasn't convincing to me...she has delicate movements and nice flow, but the busy choreography does not suit the music, also why give such a heavy piece with such grueling content to a 15 year old? (I hope she hasn't seen the film!) I think she did far worse UR 3 Loop combos and didn't get called, so I was surprised she got the call here - makes me hopeful about the tech panel for the FS - The fall was really unexpected and actually I didn't expect her to be 4th place after the SP....imo Liza would have deserved that...Sure Anna can make up for all mistakes in the FS...btw I do love this dress!
Liza Tuktamysheva - this was a stunner of a 3A! Also she shortened the preparation a lot. Her jumps are superb...she got a UR call on the 3Lz 🤔... I am glad she returned to the original piece of music from Florence, it suits her well. Also I like her look a lot. The program itself is ok, but I am not too thrilled about it. She still has rather empty parts in the program if you compare that with Kaori, Anna, Wakaba, even Bradie...imo in a good program you should not be able to switch music and keep the choreography it only is possible if the program doesn't contain much, so she returned to the old, which is good but seeing this makes me realize why she even could opt for a different music. I would rather had her in 4th place before Anna here, but the results are close.
Karen Chen - I like her skating. It is nice to see her back in good condition!
Amber Glenn - I really wish she would be more stable though this was rather good for her. I love to watch her skate. She captures me with her performance. A SP full of emotions, it's not just skated, she lived it.
Eunsoo Lim - Lovely program, stunning dress, lovely skater. Shame on that butchered combo, otherwise it wasn't bad. I like the performance, but I can't really stand the way she hammers her toe in the ice while jumping. Takes away from the impression of this otherwise stunning skater.
I am really sorry Mako Yamashita and Stanislava Konstantinova both had such meltdowns. Wasn't unexpected, but still very sad to see 😔. And seeing Mako with Mihoko makes me rather emotional...I remember that a certain someone won't be having her on the boards....
Good luck to all competitors for the FS!
Camera work was once again full of mistakes, pls fix it!
As always thank you for reading and feel free to comment!
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