#i didn't know that loving you was the happiest i've ever been

[belladonnadawn]

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

"Too impaired by my youth to know what to do." You learned the hard truth that love is never enough to make someone stay. Andrew Marston x Reader (Thank you for oomfie @soscarlett1twas for helping me choose the title!) Masterlist!

Settling in a new life with him is one of the biggest decisions in your life. You would be lying if you said that there's no anxiety and guilt looming over you during that processs. But you knew that those were nothing compared to a life with him.

Over time, the words from other people became a distant past– muffled by what you felt with him and what you have with him. It felt like he truly knew you from your skin to your bones. He saw your flaws, knew the skeletons in your closet and he still loved you.

The days with him were brighter, the skies were clearer, and you were the happiest that you have ever been.

But seasons are not unchanging.

There was a sudden shift in the air, you knew it when his smiles does not meet his eyes. When his kisses weren't as deep as before. When the warmth in his touches suddenly grew colder and colder.

You knew when and what changed– but you don't know why.

You convinced yourself that it's a phase– when honeymoon phase ended, you'll enter another phase in your relationship. Maybe it was his job, especially on how tedious it can get. It happens all the time and couples survive. You and Andrew will survive.

Until you got a whiff of the perfume.

It filled your lungs in a suffocating manner— the scent leading to a new territory you did not want to traverse. For now, you turned away, holding your breath as you hugged him home.

As you pulled away you gave him the sweetest smile you could muster, carrying the thought that eases your fears– even for a while.

It's not uncommon for him to interact with other people. It's not uncommon.

The dim glow of the lamp filled the room as midnight crept in. Your body ached after a busy day of work and running errands. Despite that, you were happy that you had something to take your mind off of your relationship with him.

Staring at the empty space, you closed your eyes and traced his side of the bed. His absence made you miss him more and you wonder if he misses you too. With a deep sigh, you calmed yourself down. You began to plan tomorrow, wanting to surprise him to lessen his load. Especially now that Andrew has been working hard after picking up late night shifts.

Your ears perked up at the silent sound of the door opening. Sitting up, you smiled as Andrew walked in your shared bedroom, but that smile quickly faded as his eyes didn't meet yours. What caught you is his expression, it was filled with exhaustion– almost somber.

"How's work?" You broke the silence, hoping to break the ice.

"It's the same," Andrew answered with a sigh, giving you a tight lipped smile.

For a while, silence filled the room; the one pulling you down in your thoughts and leaving you unsure. The sounds of his clothes ruffling as he got ready for bed was the only noise heard in the room, otherwise it was silent.

Gathering the strength that you have, you asked him the question you've been itching to get an answer from, "Are you okay?"

Andrew nodded, sitting beside you. He sighed, eyes downcast as he seems to be lost in his thoughts.

"I need to tell you something that has been weighing in my mind."

As those words leave his mouth, you can feel yourself tense up, bracing yourself for the news that he might bear.

Andrew spoke, his voice quiet and vulnerable, "These past few weeks I've been feeling some things… I– This feeling lingered more than I thought it would. And I don't think I can hide it from you anymore…"

You swallowed, trying to rationalize his statement, racking your brain if you did something to hurt him intentionally or unintentionally.

His eyes looked at you once more– you wished he never did. Those eyes that looked with you with adoration and love is now devoid of it. Something inside you died the moment your eyes met and you wish he knew that.

"I am… I deeply apologize for the hurt that I caused or I may cause you. I don't feel the same way anymore. I'm sorry."

You felt your heart drop as tears well up in your eyes. It was the last thing that you expected. The pain squeezed your heart tightly, draining every hope and possibility that this can still be mended. It was the end and you were there to witness it.

"Is there someone else?" Your mouth ran faster than your brain.

"I…"

Your eyes widened at his hesitance. The thought that it couldn't hurt more couldn't be more wrong at that moment. Now, you were beyond shattered. "Andrew?"

"I don't want you to think that—"

"Is there someone else?" Your voice firm and unwavering. If he can't give you happiness, you want him to give you honesty at least.

Andrew looked at you once more as he slowly nodded, confirming your deepest fears. He spoke once more, his voice small almost quiet, "Yes, I'm sorry."

Time went still as your world crumbled. You were rendered speechless as his words continues to ring in your head. There's someone else. He's in love with someone else.

Andrew held your hand, "I don't want to hurt you, because deep down in my heart I still love you. But I can't lead you on. You deserve someone who won't hurt you like this. You deserve better." He squeezes his hold gently, but somehow it never stopped you from breaking.

"But what if you're the one that I want?" Words struggled to leave your mouth as you spoke through your sobs.

"I'm sorry."

Closing your eyes, you cried harder. You were conflicted between wanting to curse him out or beg him to stay. But what would those do if you're don't have a hold on his heart anymore?

So you stood up, packed your belongings, and left. The once muffled sounds that you've drowned out came back to haunt you again. This time, you agreed. You really were naive.

Divider: Cafekitsune

[lookingfts]

Just saw that I didn't know that loving you was the happiest I've ever been surpassed 50,000 hits! One of my first Kanthony multi-chaps and still holds a place in my heart. It's my most read/kudosed/bookmarked fic.

[aberooski]

so tonight my friend and i sat down in call for 2 1/2 hours and binged GX and augh. i feel like i’m always saying it and you’ve heard it before…

thank you. just, thank you. from the bottom of my heart for making me feel so welcomed and having a person to enjoy this with and being able to enjoy with other people. i really resonated with your post about feeling authentic because of this series and i’m the happiest i’ve been in months now that i’m rewatching it.

if GX is like a weighted blanket, your presence and friendship are like the warm comfort of a hot chocolate on a snowy day.

so thank you again for letting me be so free and authentic and happy, because i have someone as wonderful as you to be authentic with <3

i didn’t think i’d be a GX fan for very long, or that i’d meet someone who i’m proud to call an online sibling because of the series, but you proved me wrong and i’m so happy that i was. :)

🫂💜

🫂💖

[stariekis]

a room for two

🛋️ pairing : 엔하이픈 ot7 + gn!reader . genre : fluff . cw : kisses + skinship

— synopsis : visiting their room for the first time <3

— note : finally i had the inspiration to write smt 🙌🏻 sorry for being inactive lately babies but here you have more ot7 content ! hope you enjoy reading it, as always reposts and feedback are so welcome <3 sending the biggest kiss ^3^

heeseung :

we all know how big of a gamer he is so i know that he would have one of those professional gamer set ups in his room, the one that streamers usually have. and, as he has shown us, he collect figures too so a big shelf full of them is a must in his room. — 'this is were i spend most of my time' he said, sitting on his chair — 'now i know where you are when you don't answer my text am i right?' you answered, joking obviously. he rolled his eyes at your comment, taking you hand on his and making you sit on his lap, his hands now resting on you thighs. you admired his room, he didn't have a lot of decoration but it was so like him. — 'i think i like your room more than mine, i might come over more' you said turning to him. he giggled at your comment, you just made him the happiest boy ever. pecking your lips he answered — 'you are more than welcome doll' giving you another kiss, this one lasting more than the other one you both just shared.

jay :

i've always imagine him having the tidiest room ever. but, because it was the first time sleeping with you, he wanted his room to look ten times better. he cleaned everything up, light up candles and changed his sheets, it needs to be perfect. when you entered his room for the first time you were welcomed by the coziest room you've ever been, the aroma of vanilla flooded your nose —'you like it love?' jay said, standing on the door frame while looking at your curious figure eyeing up his room. — 'hope you do because you will spend a lot of time here from now on' he was now hugging your waist from behind. — 'i like that idea actually' you answer him, receiving a kiss on your neck from him.

jake :

his room was, to your surprise, very organized. you thought that his room would be kind of messy but everything was perfectly placed, not a single dust speck visible. — 'don't be fooled, his room is not always this tidy' you heard jay say as he passed in front of jake's room — 'WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT MAN' he shouted stepping out of his room, hearing jay laugh down the hallway right after. taking his arm and pulling him inside again you hold both of his hands — 'baby it's fine, i wouldn't mind at all' you pecked his pouty lips, he didn't want you to know (even though you would end up discovering it, but not know at least) — 'now that you know my secret i don't have to clean every time, is tiring you know?' grabbing you by the waist he lifted you off the ground and sat the both of you on his bed, spending the rest of the day in each other's embrace.

sunghoon :

he would have the most minimalist room out of them. lots of framed pics perfectly placed on his walls — 'you took all of them?' you said sitting on his desk chair, they were the first thing that caught your attention — 'each and every one of them yeah' a smile plastered on his face as he answered your question, feeling proud that you liked his pics that much. you turned around on his chair now facing him who was sitting in his bed with his camera on his hand — 'wait baby i want to take a picture of you stay there' you smile at the camera, the flash appearing right after —'why do you want a picture of me here hoon?' you asked him, getting up from his chair and making your way towards him, standing in between his open legs. he put his camera aside and grabbed your hips looking up at you — 'because i like to take pictures of pretty views and you are the prettiest one i've ever seen'.

sunoo :

i just know that sunoo would have tons of cute plushies on his bed ): so as soon as you opened the door you were welcomed by a pile of plushie on top of his bed — 'you put them away when you sleep right?' you said, he looked at you with a shocked expression — 'no i don't, how could you say something like that?' your expression changed into a shocked one — 'how are we going to fit in your bed then my love?' you said putting your hand on you hips while looking at his bed. — we will make it work don't worry' he concluded, smiling at you. the next morning you found all of his beloved "friends" on the floor, a reminder to put them aside the next time.

jungwon :

like sunoo i thing he might have tons of plushie on top of his bed, mostly fan gifts. when you entered his room and saw all the cat plushies you smiled turning towards him — 't-they are not mine they are from jay i'm just keeping them here... yeah' you laugh at his reaction, sitting on his bed and taking one on you hand you out it next to you boyfriend's face — 'they look like you thought' he took from your hands the plushie and looked at him with a smile adoring his face. sitting next to you in his bed he looked at you, sighing — 'you didn't believe it right?' you shook your head hearing him laugh as he lay on his bed, you followed right after. — 'but having that many plushie of yourself is a bit self-centered don't you think' you jokingly said, looking at his side profile. he pinched your side while mouthing a 'shut up', hearing you giggling right after.

ni-ki :

he would be a nervous wreck my baby </3 and i know for a fact that he would hide all his plushie in his closet so you won't see them, he thought that you might find it ridiculous. the idea was fine at first but his secret was soon to be discovered when you opened his wardrobe and a tiny duck plushie felt in front of you. he was laying on his bad looking at his phone so he didn't realize what just happened. you made your way towards him with the little duck on your hand — 'this is so cute why was him on your closet' he looked up from his phone but as soon as he made eye contact with the thing on your hands he rolled on his back and hid his face on his hands — 'you weren't supposed to see that babe' laughing at him you sat down on top of him putting the stuffed animal up in his face telling him how similar they were. a long night was ahead for the both of you.

[flowered-mp3]

legit gonna tear up at work because ...

[vivwritesfics]

Daddy Ricciardo

Just some Danny Ric marriage/parent headcannons. Fluffy AF

Have you ever met somebody so in love with their girlfriend that it consumes their entire being?

Well, if you're friends with Daniel Ricciardo, you certainly have

Daniel was utterly obsessed with Y/N when they were dating

He brought her along to every race and showed her off whenever he got the chance

Any Y/N fan pages were probably run by him

Daniel was obviously a man who couldn't wait to get married

Especially to Y/N

You know that bit from The Office when Jim shows off the ring he got the moment he and Pam start dating?

That would have been Danny if he got the chance on drive to survive

No, Daniel got the ring on their six month anniversary

He already knew she was the one

But six months felt like the perfect timing

He didn't propose right away

Things kept getting in the way

But then, there was the perfect storm

Y/N had just come to watch a race

She hadn't been to the last one and had hardly been on the phone to him

Danny thought something was wrong

When she came to the race, Daniel was overjoyed

But then, in the hotel room after the race, she'd gone all serious

"Danny, I've got something to tell you. But I need you to promise me one thing," she said, grabbing a hold of his hands

"Anything," he replied, utterly concerned

Y/N sucked in a deep breath, calming her nerves

"Don't freak out."

When she told him, Daniel didn't freak out

He took in the information silently

Why would he freak out?

This was going to be the best day of his life

Two little words, that was all Y/N had said to him

Two words with so much weight to them

When Y/N was done and looking ready to start crying, Daniel slipped from the bed and pulled the ring box out of his pocket

He got down onto one knee and opened it

"You've just made me the happiest man in the world. Want to make me slightly happier and marry me?"

Y/N found a dress, her dream dress

Three weeks before the wedding, that dress no longer fit

The joys of being pregnant

Sobbing, Y/N made her mother take her shopping for a new dress

Before the wedding, at the rehearsal, Daniel had said he wasn't going to get drunk

If his soon to be wife couldn't drink, then he wouldn't either

But Y/N had insisted

Her soon to be husband was cute when he was drunk

So, Daniel had a few

He had more as the reception went on

Max and Christian were there, drinking alongside him

By the end of the night, Y/N was sat at the table, hand on her bump, cheeks rosy as she laughed at Daniel

He had pulled Max in for a dance and the Dutchman couldn't say no

He literally couldn't say no, because drunk Daniel wasn't listening

The honeymoon was gorgeous, like a dream

They went to the Maldives, stayed in a luxury resort

Four months later, Y/N was going into labour

It was, quite frankly, terrifying

Fifteen hours later, Charlie Ricciardo was born

He was his fathers pride and joy

Where Daniel used to show off Y/N, he now showed off Charlie and Y/N

His camera roll was all pictures of Y/N and his son

As Charlie got older, they started taking him to the races

He had little headphones to wear as the cars went around the circuit

He'd wave (aka, Y/N would hold him on her hip and wave his hand for him when his daddy came into the pits)

Charlies first word was car

Daniel was driving at the time, during free practice

He was so pissed that he missed it

Daniel was the fun parent

He was the one who let Charlie stay up past his bed time and let him have chocolate and fizzy drinks

In moderation, of course

But then Charlie did something scary

"Mummy, I want a brother," he said

Y/N couldn't reply

She had to turn around and pour herself a glass of wine

So, he asked his father

Daniel was so happy to hear it

If Charlie wanted a sibling, he was going to get a sibling

So, Daniel brought it up with Y/N

"Danny, no," she said the moment he suggested it. "When I was pregnant with Charlie and you were travelling for work, I was struggling so much without you. I can't do that again"

Daniel tucked some hair behind her ear

"Don't worry, Angel. I can talk to Christian and get the last few months of your pregnancy off," he said. "Keep you and Charlie travelling with me until then"

That sounded amazing to Y/N

She loved her little family and it only seemed to be growing

She jumped onto her husband

"Get ready for the night of your life, honey badger"

[pierregazly]

you make loving fun ꨄ pierre gasly smau

pierre gasly x fem!russell!reader

in which pierre has made it obvious he worships the ground his fiancé walks on, but her brother just has to make it clear he can fight if he needs to.

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, and others

replies

pierregasly je t'aime mon chérie 🤍

georgerussell63 you better be sleeping in different beds. and the food better be fully cooked

ynrussell we've been engaged for 9 months. ynrussell and it's a fucking croissant it's obviously fully cooked you dolt

pierregasly

tagged ynrussell

liked by ynrussell, charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, and 650,093 others

pierregasly what a great winter break with my favourite person! time to get back to work 💪😈

view all 3,209 comments

ynrussell i love youuuu

ynrussell thanks for massaging my sore ankles after :(

liked by pierregasly

username they are literally so CUTE

username i want to be ynrussell so bad... like she's so pretty and pierre brings her EVERYWHERE

georgerussell63 this doesn't seem like a safe date option

georgerussell63 my sister better be in one piece by the time you finally return her home

ynrussell i am a grown woman??? i am not being returned home??? what is WRONG with you pierregasly i think i'll keep her actually, sorry mate!

username do you guys think george is serious or is he just playing a joke

username he comments on EVERY single one of their posts... my mans gonna fuck pierre up if he ever steps out of line frfr

liked by georgerussell63

ynrussell

tagged pierregasly

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 46,209 others

ynrussell a special happy birthday to the king of my heart 🫶🏻 one year closer to 30 handsome!!!

view 306 comments

username happy birthday pierregasly!!!!!!

charles_leclerc 🥳🥳🥳

pierregasly do you want to fight??? one year closer to 30???

georgerussell63 i've got this ynrussell, don't threaten my sister or it's game over

pierregasly je t'aime 🤍

georgerussell63 is there a video of pierre getting his face shoved into the cake? i'll pay good money for it

username george omg

username LMAOOOO pleaaaase george is ruthless does he even like his future brother in law

georgerussell63 no. happy birthday pierregasly.

username why is no one talking about how he's looking at her in that second photo???? the pure love??? im gonna cry i hate that i love them

username the 😭 king 😭 of 😭 my 😭 heart 😭

ynrussell

tagged carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, pierregasly, and 12 others

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, alexandrasaintmleux, and 52,951 others

ynrussell spoiled absolutely rotten by all the wonderful women in my life this weekend, thank you all for making my bridal shower so special 🫶🏻 (and an extra special thank you to my best friend for the beautiful present he dropped off for me in the middle of it all)

view all 902 comments

carmenmmundt had so much fun celebrating the beautiful bride to be!!

username it makes my heart so full that carmen's planned so much of ynrussell's pre-wedding stuff, she has to be in the wedding party omg

username do we think george is one of pierre's groomsmen???

username if pierre doesn't want to die on his wedding day i'd hope so lol

georgerussell63 i hope pierregasly didn't ruin your special day by showing up. so happy to see how overjoyed you were in all the photos 💗

ynrussell pls stop harassing my fiancé. love you georgie.

username i literally cannot WAIT for their wedding, i just know pierre is going to go all out to make sure ynrussell is the happiest bride in the world (or george will get his ass)

pierregasly i stand by what i said, prettiest flowers for my prettiest flower 💐

georgerussell63

tagged ynrussell

liked by ynrussell, pierregasly, carmenmmundt, and 879,092 others

georgerussell63 can't believe the little girl who used to make me zip up her raincoat on the way to school is getting married tomorrow. honoured to be apart of your special day. and even though i mention it 14 times in my speech, pierregasly i know where you live and i will hurt you if you ever hurt her.

view all 2,311 comments

ynrussell 🥺🥺

ynrussell i'm going to cry. love you always georgie 🥺

username the picture of him zipping up her coat i'm going to cry... my fav brother/sister duo HONESTLY

username i just know this man would get away with murder for her if he had to

username pierre would not stand a chance against george

username bestie be so fucking for real, george's skinny ass ankles wouldn't stand a chance against my man pierre

carmenmmundt i think you've made enough threats by now?

liked by pierregasly, ynrussell, and 63 others

pierregasly may as well make it 15 times, i just dont think 14 is enough little brother

georgerussell63 do NOT call me that

pierregasly and yngasly

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, alpinef1team, and 1,673,942 others

pierregasly i am truly the luckiest man in the world to finally be able to call myself your husband. the tears were worth seeing you in the most beautiful dress, on the most beautiful day. i will hold my vows until the day i die. je t'aime, i love you.

view all 3,564 comments

username omg he cried!!!!!!

username i KNEW IT i knew pierre would be a crier my man's looks like he would be

username do we think george made him cry

username girl dont be delulu i'd be crying too if yngasly was about to be my wife

georgerussell63 i have a video of you crying. don't act up.

pierregasly wouldn't count on it lil bro. username pierre may get beat up without it even involving yngasly as this rate

yngasly can't believe i bagged myself such a looker

yngasly i love you mr. gasly

pierregasly i love you mrs. gasly

honestly this was one of those one's that i started, imagined myself in this position and then basically HAD to finish it. thank you to the lovely person who requested a russell!sister!reader who is engaged to pierre, who constantly get's threatened by george. i hope you all loved it!!

my requests are open

taglist:

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @sarahedwards16 @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios

if your name is struck through it wouldn't let me tag you! let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist/if you're missing from it :)

[itgirlgyu]

ꢾ𓍢ִ໋　‎ ‎‎ ‎ : ‎ how would enhypen react to you farting?

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎enha x 𝒢en!reader. ⠀𓈒 ◌⠀humor! headcanons. 🗯 wc ˒ 0654! warnings── ✩͏ this isn't even my fault if you really think about it. it's actually heeseungs fault. ever since he said he liked when engenes fart it has been on my head constantly. ︶ིྀᩧ 𝒫 ls don't read it if you're sensitive. ༄

──HEESEUNG ˒

looks at you with so much shock that you feel like you've done extremely something wrong to him.

but then breaks out in the biggest grin ever.

gets cozy and clingy to you while pulling out an air freshener out of nowhere.

“I've always kept this on me dreaming of day, you've made me the happiest man ever.”

and you're like… okay? but you don't hate it of course.

“that means you eat well silly, I'm so happy. “

sets this as an anniversary date in his phone as "fartversary" in front of you to celebrate and then skips away to reserve dinner reservation to celebrate it further.

──JAY ˒

gazes at you with his eyes brimming with understanding and acceptance.

places his band on top of yours in a silent acknowledgement and you almost tear up with embarrassment but he thinks it's out of love so it works out fine.

says he's going to get the air freshener but comes back with a cake and party poppers.

he really wants to celebrate this new step into the relationship with you

and who are you to deny him.

you see him crossing out something in his phone but you don't dare question the rest of the relationship steps.

──JAKE ˒

you blame it on his dog.

and he's like, “damn i gotta focus on her diet what is she eating to stink up the house like that.“

it makes you want to cry but at least he doesn't pry about it further.

but snowballs into him taking his dog to the vet to see what changes need to made into its diet and you're biting your nails in horror.

you don't know if you should come clean or not.

the fear slowly begins to draw its claw into your skin as you tether on the edge of over thinking that jake is already aware of it.

you let it fester until you can't take it anymore and confess it to him one day.

jake: oh okay.

──SUNGHOON ˒

knows you did it but he doesn't want to embarrass you so he doesn't even mention it.

but you can see him struggling

his eyeballs are shaking rapidly as he tries to talk while holding his breath to make it seem like he really didn't hear or smell anything.

although he's not breathing until all of the smell goes away

he may love you enough not to mention your stink attack but there's no way he's inhaling your toxic fumes.

──SUNOO ˒

looks at you in shock while you're in the middle of ripping it out.

frozen in shock, but in a demure way, through the whole thing.

when you try to make a joke about it, he tells you to cut it out.

it was very traumatic for him to hear you fart for more than fifteen seconds

and he'd like forget about it.

you don't know if you should try your luck or not but meekly you put forth the suggestion that he can do it as well.

but the look of horror and contempt he throws your way makes it clear he would actually break up if you bring it up again once more.

──JUNGWON ˒

does not mention it, doesn't acknowledge it, doesn't even move an inch.

you might think he turned into a statue due to shock.

so you try to ease the situation.

“jungwon i think I did i—”

“no you did not.”

although he's concerned about your stomach so after a while he's like, why don't we try to drink antacid for fun?

──RIKI ˒

gets scared at the sound but then tries to play it off because he's a tough guy.

but he's also a softie inside.

so to make you feel at ease he rips one as well.

looks at you with a generous smile like damn where will you find a man like that?

it may or may not develop into a farting competition.

© ITGIRLGYU⠀⠀. feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated!

TAGLiST @ox1-lovesick @jisungsdaydreamer @wonioml @1921choi @forever-in-the-sky2 @beoms-sugar @gyuletters

[imbored1201]

hi! would you be able to do a teen reader x barca/arsenal (or like an individual) where they spend christmas alone without anyone knowing until they comeback, and when people realise they make it up to reader?

thanks! (and happy christmas and new years)

Mapi’s Huge Surprise

Warnings: Neglectful parents

Barcelona Femeni x Teen Reader

Word Count: 1,383

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!

 

You looked at the time, 11:55 pm. About to be Christmas Day. You sighed, getting up from where you laid, to eat the rest of that gingerbread house that you built. 

You hated and loved Christmas. You loved the lights and how joyful the people got, but you hated how alone you felt every year. Your parents had never acknowledged it, but they let you walk around the neighborhood to see the lights while they partied at some coworkers place. 

Now that you were far from them, you wanted to do something big, but then you realized you didn't have any friends outside of the team, and the whole team were busy with their families. 

You were completely alone again. When midnight hit, you decided to watch some classic Christmas movies. 

—————

New Years was the same; you had also drank some wine, hoping Alexia wouldn't notice, but overall, you just enjoyed watching all your teammates stories to see what they were up to. 

Your parents had called you, wishing you a great holiday and hoping it went well for you. You just asked them what they did, and as usual, they went to a party, not bothering to ask what you did for Christmas or New Years or if you would even visit them.

—————

When Alexia came back home, you were excited and clingy. You wanted to watch a bunch of Christmas movies with her. She found it cute and agreed; even though Christmas was a week ago, she even brought up the idea to make Christmas cookies. 

It was probably the happiest Alexia had ever seen you. Apart from the mess, it was a fun day. A day you hated to see end, but at least you finally got to experience a Christmas tradition with someone that you knew cared about you. 

—————

"So, what you do for Christmas?" Lucy asked as she bumped your shoulder. "Nothing," you shrugged, drinking some of your water. Lucy frowned at that. 

"What do you mean nothing?" She asked, grabbing the water bottle from you. "I didn't do anything Lucy. I just stayed home and watched movies."

"You didn’t see your parents?" She pushed more. "Come on ladies!" Jona yelled at you guys. You quickly jogged to where the other girls were for sprints.

————

When training was over, as usual, you were the last one out the locker room, taking your sweet time. Alexia waited for you patiently, knowing if she rushed you, it wouldn't be a fun car ride for either of you. 

You had lied to Alexia about your parents coming to Barcelona, telling her that they were getting a rental where you guys would stay and that they would leave after New Year's Eve. Alexia was going to her mama's house, so you weren’t worried about getting caught lying. You felt bad for lying, but you didn't want her worrying about you. 

You noticed her expression, like she was thinking hard about something. "You okay?" You asked her, packing your bag. She nodded. 

"We have to talk." "Did I do something? I swear, I've been on top of my work, so if my teachers told you something again, they're lying," she shook her head. 

"I know you're doing good in school; your teachers have been praising you a lot lately." You smiled and followed her out to the car. She wanted to press you, but she also didn't want any awkwardness during the car ride, so she waited until you guys got home.

—————

Right when you got into the door, you tried to hurry to your room, knowing an awkward conversation was about to happen. Of course, it didn't work out.

"How was Christmas with your parents?" You froze. "Good." She looked at you, and you knew from that look that she knew you were lying. 

"Don't lie to me," you winced at her tone. "Were you here alone?" You knew you couldn't lie yourself out of this one; you nodded at her question. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, "I didn't want to be a bother." "You're never a bother Bebe. My mama loves you, you're practically another daughter to her." Alexia pulled you into a hug. 

"It's okay Alexia, I'm used to being alone on holidays, we never do anything anyway," she shook her head. "Next time you're coming with me, okay?" You nodded, and she kissed your forehead and let you go to your room.

—————

All you wanted to do was sleep; you were a teenager, so of course it was your top priority. You groaned and shoved whoever was on top of you. You heard them laugh and smack your cheeks a bit. 

You finally opened your eyes and saw Patri and Claudia with mischievous smiles. "What are you doing here?" You mumbled sleepily, closing your eyes once again. "Alexia sent us here to wake you; we have a surprise," Pina said excitedly.

"I'm too tired to get up," you told them, shoving Patri again. You felt her get off you; you got happy, thinking they would leave you alone, but of course, with this team, you would never get your way. 

"Hey!" You yelled as Pina grabbed your legs and dragged you off your bed. A huge thud sounded through the apartment as you fell. Patri quickly grabbed your arms, and they lifted you up. You tried wiggling away, but it was no use. You gave up and let them carry you. 

They set you on the floor in the middle of the living room, and there you saw all of your teammates crowded around the front door and the couch. 

"Alexia they hurt me," you whined to her. "I told you guys to get her out of bed nicely for once," Alexia scolded them. "She wouldn't get up," Patri defended, and Pina nodded along. 

"You didn't tell me we were going to have a team bonding night," you looked at Alexia offended that she didn't warn you. "It wasn't planned,” Mapi told you. 

"We got these for you" Frido told you, and you looked around and realized they all had gifts. "For what?" "What do you mean for what? For Christmas kid" Lucy told you as she threw her gift at you. 

You looked at her suspiciously, "go on, open it" She was way more excited than you. "New headphones!" You said excitedly, "Because you broke your other ones and cried about it the whole bus ride," she said. 

Aitana was about to give you hers but got shoved out of the way by Mapi. "Trust me, when you see mine, you won't want the other ones." Everyone rolled their eyes at Mapi. 

She grabbed you, and put her hands over your eyes, and led you outside. "Alexia!" You shouted, scared Mapi would pull some dumb prank on you. "I'm right here bebe" she reassured you, giving Mapi a look of confusion. 

"What did you do Mapi?" Alexia told her, seeing what she got you, but Mapi just smirked. She finally let you see, and your jaw dropped. "Holy shit" you cursed. Alexia was also too shocked to even tell you off for your language. 

A dirt bike. 

"No" Alexia told Mapi sternly. "Yes" Mapi said back. "I love you!" you shouted and tackled Mapi into a hug. 

"We can go to a trail this weekend; I have a buddy that will teach you; we just have to get you gear" she smirked and turned to Ingrid, who handed you a box. 

Your smile got bigger when you saw there was all the gear you needed. Ingrid noticed Alexia's glare. "I tried to talk her out of it, but you know how she is when she's set on something."

"Come on Alexia. Look at that smile." Mapi points to you, all happy on your dirt bike, showing it off to Patri and Pina. 

"If she gets hurt-" "she won't; trust me, in a week she'll be wanting to be competing" Alexia sighed, but let it be; there was no changing Mapi's mind, and you already seemed attached to the bike. 

—————

Mapi was right though; you were only paying attention to the bike all day. Completely forgetting you had everyone else lined up to give you their gifts. It was truly a Christmas you would never forget. 

[thatmexisaurusrex]

All I'm saying is that the show has stated that:

Vegas is flyable by helicopter.

Vegas is known for its elopements.

Buck has a hot pilot boyfriend.

Buck is also very spontaneous.

And it would be rude if they didn't utilise that.

Oh, I love this. And I completely agree, it would be rude if they didn't utilize that.

The Elopement

"Evan."

Tommy was there.

Always there for him.

Buck had one of the most boring, mundane days at work. It was all cats in trees and toys in noses and a few calls that seemed to solve themselves.

It hadn't been a hard day. Not the worst day nor the best day. It had been the most average day Buck had ever had as a firefighter.

Yet it was still a relief to see Tommy.

A breath of fresh air.

It was everything and more to see Tommy in pajamas leaning on Buck's kitchen island counter as he waited for what looked to be a casserole to cook in the oven.

Hair a curly mess.

Yawning despite it being maybe only eight at night.

Some fuzz on his face.

And the way he had turned to Buck.

To Evan.

The way his eyes lit up. The way he smiled so handsomely, the one where his nose scrunched.

And the words fell from Buck's mouth before he knew what he was saying.

"Marry me."

And.

Tommy gave Buck that look - that Evan look. And he walked up to Buck curiously as he asked, "What?"

And he sounded amused.

He sounded surprised.

He looked as if he could watch Buck speak for the rest of their lives and never tire of it. And Buck was sort of asking the man to do just that.

"This is what I want," said Buck as his arms snaked around Tommy; as his hands found themselves in the back pockets of the sweatpants Tommy currently had on, "This is every. Well. Maybe not everything. I kind of want more. So much more. But this is what I want still. To come home to you. Every. Single. Day of my life. To know that I am here for you and you are here for me. That we're inextricably tied to one another. To be with you for the rest of my life. To make that promise. I want that."

Tommy laughed.

"Evan, we - we've only been dating a few months," Tommy said, but it didn't sound like he was fighting the idea; it sounded as if he thought he was trying to talk himself out of it, "We - we don't even know if we want the same things in the long run."

"Okay. Easy fix. What do you want? Marriage? Family? Kids?" said Evan, "I can tell you mine. Because - I want to be married to you. I want to make a family with you. I - I want to have the last name Kinard. Which I never thought was a possibility. I never thought about taking another person's name, but I want you etched into me. I want your name on the back of my turnouts. I want to confuse everyone about why my nickname is Buck."

Tommy laughed at that.

"Oh? Is that the real pull here? Confusion?" asked Tommy.

But Buck, while he loved that, wouldn't be derailed.

"I want kids with you. I see you with Jee, with Denny, with Mara, with Chris - and I see the father you could be. The fathers we could be. And I think you might be the first person I've dated where I see that."

Tommy.

Gazed at Buck.

Mesmerized and confounded and there, Buck could see the immensity of their love already in Tommy's eyes.

"You really think that?" asked Tommy, as if unsure of himself.

Because somehow a man so confident seemed to have so little understanding of what he was capable of sometimes.

"Yeah," said Buck honestly.

Tommy swallowed hard.

"I - I want that too," said Tommy, like asking for his own wants was new to him; like he wasn't used to this sort of introspection, "I like the idea of us connected like that. I liked the idea of rings. I like the idea of having a shared last name, whatever it is. I - I like the idea of kids. God, could you imagine a tiny you? Who in the wouldn't want a tiny you? Or - or adoption is good too. I don't know. All I know is that ever since I met you at Harbor Station, all I wanted was to be around you. Maybe - maybe experience everything I can with you. And if you want that too, I'm just the happiest man in the world."

And this was a whirlwind.

This was so fast.

But Buck couldn't help but kiss that smile on Tommy's face until Tommy was practically jello in Buck's arms.

"Vegas," Buck announced.

"What?" laughed Tommy.

"Book us a helicopter. We're going to Vegas. We're getting married."

Buck couldn't help but smile at Tommy. At the way Tommy gazed at him; like Tommy would never take his eyes off Buck if he had any say in it.

"Are you really sure?" asked Tommy softly.

And Buck loved the man for that. He really did.

"With you? Always."

"I do know a good wedding Elvis," said Tommy as he pulled out his phone.

And.

And they were doing this.

They were actually doing this.

"Hey. Don't look at me like that," said Tommy as he put the phone to his ear, "I'm not going to be able to book the helicopter if you start making out with me."

"Book the helicopter faster so I can start, then," said Buck, unable to look away from Tommy's lips.

[eliluvschan]

My Eternity

pairing: bang chan x reader

word count: 2.098

warnings: cutie channie explaining his relationship & like one curse word?

genre: fluff

a/n: when i tell you i've never had a boyfriend would you believe me? lmaoo i blame the 4am thoughts for this one. took me 4 hours to write this with like 7 mental breakdowns through? i was listening to WOW and i reeeaally wanted to add Jisung's; jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo? but rlly didn't know how lmao + i'm addicted to this small lettertype so imma use it from now on ;) okay now i'll let you go read. enjoooooy ♡

i’ve known you ever since the day when we were kids.

- we’ve been neighbours since childhood. you moved to my hometown, went to my class and blended in. everyone liked you, how could i not?

the happiest moment to ever exist.

- i was always happy when you sat beside me and my friends, not wanting to make friends with the others in high school.

check my bucket list, oh, you were on the list.

- before i met you, i didn’t have a bucket list. you just kind of became my best friend and we made a bucket list together. i never showed you mine, cause you were on the list.

i’m living the dream, somebody heard my wish.

- it has always been my dream to have someone like you by my side, so understanding, so beautiful with such an amazing soul. my wish has been heard and i’ve been the happiest ever since.

call out your name.

- my Y/nnie, princess, little one, baby girl, sweetheart, darling, love, honey, baby, jagiya, sweetie, future wifey, koala bear, cuddle bug and many more sweet names. i can give you a million nicknames.

you do the same.

- Channie, future husband, baby, jagiya, sweetheart, cutie, sweetie, boyfriend, darling, baby boy, prince, hottie, kangaroo, Chris, Christopher, Bahng. you never run out of nicknames for me and they always make me blush, laugh and flutter.

hug you all day.

- you love hugging me and so do i. it’s the best part of when i come home after a tiring day of practice and engulf you in a big hug like it’s the last time i’ll ever hug you.

i hope this’ll never end for eternity.

- i love you like the person you are, how your nose and brows scrunch together when you can’t open something and always ask me, or how you silently hug me from behind or the side when i’m busy producing songs. i don’t ever want to leave your side.

— ❀ —

i just want all time to stop.

- time has always been an issue. whether it’s morning or evening. i won’t ever get tired of you. the way you whine in the mornings for five more minutes, or evenings when you cling to me like my little koala bear.

— ❀ —

i’m never letting go.

- i am never letting go of you. you’re stuck with me jagiya. now until eternity.

let’s go on a little walk, see the world outside.

- i always have to drag you outside, or else you want to stay inside most of the times we're together. it's cute.

don't wanna let you go.

- never ever will i leave you. my eyes always find you in a crowd, at concerts or fan-meetings. one small smile and i feel like i can achieve anything in this big, scary world.

the way that you give me your hands, i'll fly.

- the first time you gave me your hand, was when your date dumped you at prom. you were so sad and i wanted to punch the bastard right then and there. even though i wanted to be the one who took you to prom in the first place.

at times when i feel down or empty.

- the times when i'm stressed with work, or when i have writers-block, you're always there to distract me. even without me saying anything, makes me love you even more.

you're always beside me.

- you're always there to catch me at my lowest moment. when i feel like a bad leader, or when i feel like i'm not enough for you, the boys or my siblings back in australia. you're just there doing something random with Jisung or Hyunjin and it brings the hugest smile to my face, making me forget all my worries.

promise that i'll love you plenty.

- i promise that i'll always love you. even when i don't show it or say it enough, my heart only beats for you. the way you joke around with Changbin, Felix and I.N. or play savage with Lee Know or Seungmin. it just fills my heart even more than i thought it could.

i hope this'll never end for eternity.

- i'm sure i tell you this lots but the way you always fiddle with the strings of your (my) hoodie or the way you put your hands in your or my holes in our jeans when you're anxious. it's adorable.

— ❀ —

when i look at you i know that you're the only one.

- i have never been in serious relationships but this one with you is something else. i want you to know that i want you as my first and last for everything.

the only one yeah.

- you're the only one that can make me do things i usually hate and the only one that can calm me down in your own magical way.

nothing in the world could beat our little special bond.

- nothing in the world can try and break our bond. with each other we can be crazy in our own way and none of us would judge each other for that.

'cause we are one.

- we are one. you complete me just as i complete you. you know everything of me like i know everything about you.

run around and make a mess, we don't even have to rest.

- the boys are always loud and a mess so i guess i need you to help me clean after them. being a dad of 7 is a tiring job. luckily i have you and together we can do anything.

every moment is a precious memory.

- every moment together or with the boys are precious. like dancing with danceracha until the early mornings, rapping sessions with 3racha in the studio or just joking around with vocalracha when they have nothing to do.

the way you wake me up in bed, yeah, i hope this never ends.

- you always lave little kisses around my face or just stare at me, staying in my embrace. it's mainly me waking you up cause you love your sleep and always ask for 5 more minutes to lazy around in bed.

i'm lucky that you're my best friend so.

- my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, significant other, my future wife, my girlfriend, my everything. there aren't enough words to describe my love for you. guess we should thank your parents for moving right next to us when you were 10.

— ❀ —

i just want all time to stop.

- those last 16 years went by so fast, it's crazy how fast time flies. i'll never forget our first encounter at school. you bumping into me and then scolding me for accidentally dropping my juice box on your blouse. i felt bad and handed you my shirt. and had a huge smile each time i saw you wearing my shirt that day around school.

— ❀ —

i'm never letting go.

- the time i confessed, and you didn't reply, i thought you'd hate me. instead you grabbed my face and gave me a long and passionate kiss. you were barely 17. i was 20. yet it was the best decision i had made that day.

let's go on a little walk, see the world outside.

- our first date was a walk around the beach. your hand was safely in mine as it was a little over 12 am. our phones full of missed calls from our parents as we enjoyed each other's company.

don't wanna let you go.

- when we told our parents about our relationship, they were over the moon. they never expected us to end up together and your father gave me a firm handshake and told me to speak to him later. never had i feared for my life more than the glare he gave me.

the way that you'll give me your hands, i'll fly.

- the way your hands fit perfectly in mine. it's a sign huh? you're my soulmate now and forever. or how you moved to seoul for me because you couldn't stand the long distance, not realising it would be lonely for you. but then again, i forgot what a social butterfly you are and became friends with half the Kpop industry as you were a dance teacher yourself, teaching dances to little kids who were passionate about dancing.

at times when i feel down or empty.

- there's always times when i feel down or empty. like how i worry about if Berry might forget me after not seeing me for a long time and you reassuring me that she won't. because that's who you are, always reassuring me and the others if one of us is feeling stressed.

you're always beside me.

- you've always been beside me. when i was a trainee, when i debuted, when i wasn't sure about my career and all the other choices i made in these last 16 years. you could read me like an open book and knew all my struggles back then and now.

promise that i'll love you plenty.

- the boys are always complaining how mushy i get when they mention you. they've also mentioned a million times when i'll propose to you, not knowing i've started planning way ahead and am planning to ask you very soon.

i hope this'll never end for eternity.

- you always bring me and the boys lunch on your free days or in the weekend. knowing that we all love your cooked foods. and then like to hang around and even dance together with us to choreo's that Lee Know teaches us. or how you even made some changes to the dances cause you thought they could use another movement.

— ❀ —

ah-ooh (eternity)

- you'll always be my eternity.

ah-ooh

— ❀ —

you make me call out your name.

- a little after 5 pm you arrive home. immediately jumping into my arms as you dump your shoes, coat and bag somewhere in the hallway. ''i missed you jagiya.'' i smile in your neck as you hum in response, telling me you missed me too.

you do the same.

- the way you always call my name when i come back home late. telling you not to wait up, yet every time you still do, attacking me in a tight hug and whine cutely telling me to take a quick shower before we head to bed.

hug you all day.

- the door opens and a few seconds later you're in the hallway with two heavy bags of groceries that you picked up on your way home. while you're cooking, i hug you from behind and we stay in each other's presence as you cook a delicious home made dish.

i hope this'll never end.

- even after a long, tiring day at work, you never fail to amaze me with the amazing dishes you learn from the internet, my mother or yours. the praises i give you aren't enough, so i'll feed you too.

— ❀ —

i'm never letting go.

- you've teased me a lot about going to my 'side-hoes' even though i've never had eyes for someone other than you. of course in those 6 years that we've been together we've had multiple fights. but we always went and apologised even if the fight wasn't that serious. we also have an unspoken rule to never go to bed upset and always communicate things with each other before accusing without proof.

let's go on a little walk, see the world outside.

- i'm planning on asking you on the beach. the exact same one where we had our first date years ago. i've got the perfect plan in mind to get you there and the best way to ask you. i can't wait to see your reaction to this song i wrote for you and the reaction you'll have when i go down on one knee and ask you to be mine for eternity.

don't wanna let you go.

- today, i asked your parents your hand in marriage. they were thrilled to see their little girl getting married to her first boyfriend from 16 years ago. 6 years ago your father glared at me for being the boyfriend of his daughter. today, he gave me a hug and told me he trusted me as your husband.

the way that you'll give me your hands, i'll fly.

- you're never getting rid of me, jagiya. i'll always love and cherish you for who you are. and so will the boys. they were so happy when i told them i'm finally proposing and wanted to be part of the plan too.

eternity.

- you're sleeping in my arms right now, not realising that the ring i'm planning to slip on your finger soon, is safely in it's box in my right hand, while my left arm is tightly wrapped around your fragile body, holding you close to me, your head on my chest right where my heart is beating just for you.

~

[chrissv4mp]

¡ YOU MADE ME HATE THIS CITY ! — CHRIS S.

chris masterlist & taglist // main masterlist

summary: you're not happy with chris. all he does is make you sad, and you're done with it.

pairing: chris sturniolo × fem!reader

warnings + topics: cursing, arguments, crying, chris is an asshole, driving under the influence, drinking, chris can drive in this one🗣, etc.

authors note: idk, basically how i feel when i'm with my bf anyway i'd listen to this album for a lifetime if i had to🗣🗣 I DIDNT KNOW HOW END THIS SOO sorry if the endinh is shit💔💔

word count: 4.9k

"when i'm away from you,

i'm happier than ever."

a laugh came from your throat as you grabbed taras arm, leaning on her for support as you both laughed your asses off at a joke told by nick.

he only smiled softly, trying to contain his own laughter as he watched his two friends. the taller boys eyes land on a guy across the room, and then he speaks, "hey, i'll be back. stay safe, and please don't go with any guys that look like creeps?"

you nod, and tara just smiles at him, "we won't, we're just here to have a good time. go get that man, nick!"

nick smiles, shaking his head as he looks away, turning his back to the both of you as he begins to walk to the other side of the building. tara turns to you again, tilling her head at the... sad look on your face?

"hey, what's wrong, babe?" her tone is soft, and she frowns slightly when you shake your head with a weak smile. your eyes meet hers, and she can tell somethings not right.

"there's clearly something wrong, y/n. come on, you know you can tell me anything. did someone do something to you? cause i swear on my life i'll beat their—" your eyes widen and you quickly cut her off with a nervous laugh.

"no, no, there's absolutely no need for that, tar," you give her a reassuring smile as you reach for her hand, running your thumb over her soft skin as you continue, "this is just the happiest i've been probably... all year?"

the shorter girl smiles, but then as your words hit, she feels another rush of sympathy for you, "well... i'm glad that you're having fun, but, you gotta let yourself be free some more, y'know?"

you nod, and then she continues, "go out with your friends, i'm free most of the time. and if you wanna be alone, then go do something for yourself, girl. i'm sure chris would also love to hang out with you."

he wouldn't, though. he didn't even come around most of the time, only texting you when he needed something and coming home just to sleep. hell, most of the time, he just slept over at some persons house who neither of you knew. he made you feel like you weren't lovable, always complaining about little things and then blowing up when you tried to defend yourself.

that's why you dreaded coming home after every hangout. you hated coming home to chris, just for him to yell at you and make you feel shitty. you really wish you could explain it better, the feeling he gives you. fuck, you even wished it was fake, the feeling of pure happiness whenever you weren't around the boy.

but everybody else's relationships are like this, right? it's normal, you tell yourself. everything chris has done to you is completely normal. you think. he hates when you think because he always say that your mind works in interesting ways. he always say that you have a terrible mindset, undermining your way of thinking.

"yeah. chris." you mutter, flashing tara a smile before you go to stare at your intertwined fingers, you don't even realize how hard your gripping her hand until she winces, "shit. i'm sorry."

she just shrugs, a reassuring smile on her face as she squeezes your hand. as she looks up at your face again, she frowns, "y/n..."

her mind wanders back to your last words, the mention of chris' name the one thing that set you off and made you act out, "it's him, isn't it? what's he doing to you? is he treating you badly?"

you want to tell her yes, you want to fall into her arms and just cry. all you want is to spill all your feelings out right now, to scream and scream over and over again, but you can't. you didn't want chris' reputation to go down the gutter, you really didn't want anything bad to happen to him, even if he did treat you like garbage. even if he treated you like actual shit, you still wanted a happy life for him, he was the one person who showed you love. the first person who actually cared for you.

but, as the years went by, he just... chris just drifted away, he got too caught up into fame, money, and girls especially. girls who weren't you and girls that looked completely different, it was like you weren't even alive most of the time. he treated you like you weren't his girlfriend.

"no, it's not him," another sad smile, and your voice almost cracks as more bad thoughts come to mind, "it's never chris."

tara notices the subtle change of tone, and only then does she reach her free hand out to rest on your shoulder. the bar stools were close enough together that your knees touched, and tara only pulled you closer to her. when you were finally in her arms, you let out a shaky sigh.

then, she hears you whimper. and now you're full-on sobbing into her shoulder, tears streaking down your face as you cry quietly. your body trembles, and you feel as if you let your of your best friend, you'll fall and never be able to get back up.

her hand comes up behind your back, rubbing it in a comforting way as she coos gentle things into your ear, her other hand coming up to your hair and stroking your h/c locks softly, "i know, i know, babe. just let it out, i'm here, okay?"

tara can't help but frown at your saddened state, eyes shutting closed as she continues to comfort you. her lips part again, and you feel a sense of relief wash over you as the words leave her mouth, "you can stay with me for tonight, and for however long you need."

"give me a day or two to think of something clever,

to write myself a letter

to tell me what to do..."

the only sounds in the room are your gentle breathing, and the loud screaming of chris on the other end of the phone. your index finger is wedged between your teeth as you bite down on your nail nervously, your eyes darted around, not knowing where to stay as you listened in to your boyfriend.

"where the fuck were you last night, y/n?" chris tries to contain himself, and you can hear his footsteps pacing back and forth on the hardwood floors of your shared bedroom, "why didn't you come home, i—y/n, what were you doing and where are you right now?"

a shaky breath leaves your lips, and you finally let your hand swing back to the side of your body, gripping the phone tighter, "i'm at taras house, chris. i just—i'm gonna be honest, and please don't get mad—i just need a few days away from... you."

you hear chris scoff on the other end, and you begin to speak again before he starts to blow up, "well, not you, specifically," yes, it was indeed him specifically, "i just wanted to get out of the house for a little... maybe a day or two, and then i'll be back, okay?"

"i knew when i asked you to

be cool about what i was telling you,

you'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do..."

you both knew chris wouldn't care, he didn't give a single fuck if you weren't around, but for more than 24 hours? that's where he drew the line because he knew that when you were around your sensible, smart friends, you would make bad good decisions. you would make decisions that would effect yours and his relationship, and he didn't want that because he needed to have somebody under his control.

he hated the idea of having no control. even if it was only one person her could control, he still had it, he still had somebody wrapped around his finger that he could get to do whatever he pleased.

"wha—y/n, what?" chris sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, "the fuck do you mean? you're coming home tonight, and if you don't i—"

"and i'd end up more afraid..."

chris cut himself off as he began to think. he shouldn't worry about you. fuck your friends, he would always find a way to get you back, so why was he begging you to get home?

a sigh was heard from behind the phone, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion, "nevermind, whatever, go fuck around. see you. bye."

then, the three beeps sounded in your ear. you scoffed, your heart aching at the fact that he didn't even he loved you. he always told you he loved you before he hung up... until a few months ago. you didn't know what went wrong, or where along the line something broke your bond. nothing happened that you could really remember.

"bye." you whispered, shutting your phone off and throwing it on the guest bed before you fell onto your back and landed on the silk sheets. a loud, exaggerated sigh left your lips as you dragged your hands down your face in frustration.

what was this boy doing to you? and why were you letting him do it? you didn't know how to answer the first question, but you had an idea for the second. maybe you liked the thrill.. or maybe you were just hanging on so tight you could never let go. if you let him go, the indentation of that metaphorical rope would still be there... and you'd have to live with the memory of chris. you could never live with yourself knowing you possibly hurt him.

"you clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable..."

but then again, if you let it go, the marks would fade soon, and then you wouldn't have anything to remember. it wouldn't be a constant reminder of chris and how he treated you. so, maybe you just had to let go and take your time to heal, hang around the right people or maybe even just take time for yourself.

a knock, and then two. you opened your eyes, sitting up and being met with the sight of tara leaning against the doorframe, "hey, can i come in?" you nod quickly, needing the distraction to get your mind off of chris.

you didn't even realize her moving closer until you felt the bed dip beside you, your head turning to meet taras eyes as you smiled softly. she returned the same smile, and then began to speak, "how are you feeling?"

no words came out of your mouth for a few moments as you tried to gather up all your emotions and try to put them into one word. but how could you if you were feeling almost all of them?

"i don't know." your voice was quiet, shy almost as you looked down at your lap. tara stayed quiet, letting you think for a moment as she stared at the side of your face, "i feel... angry, sad. gosh, i feel everything and i can't even fucking explain it, it's just so—"

a hand on your shoulder made you relax, and you stopped mid-sentence as tara rubbed your shoulder softly. your mouth shut, and you turned your head to look at her again, "you don't have to feel anything yet, y/n. i'm not gonna tell you to calm down because i would be livid if somebody said that to me, so, i'll just tell you this..."

"close your eyes and take deep breaths. take a moment to gather your thoughts, and then talk to me, okay?" her voice was gentle, quiet, and comforting. the mix of her touch made your entire body relax, and you smiled at her.

you nodded, turning your head back to face in front of you and then closing your eyes. inhale through your nose, count to 3, then exhale through your mouth. inhale, count to 3, exhale. over and over again until you were finally put back together, mostly. one final deep breath, and your eyes were open again. you turned back to your best friend, and she just smiled at you.

"i feel like shit, tar," your voice threatens to crack, but you don't let it, taking another deep breath before you begin to speak again, "this entire thing with chris... fuck, it's just so exhausting and it makes me feel horrible. i'm just chasing after him constantly, seeking his approval only to get disappointment and anger from him. it's like he doesn't even care about me, tara.."

you finally crack, and tears begin to well up in your eyes as you sniffle. tara frowns, squeezing your shoulder softly as she sees your state, "he doesn't deserve you, hon, seriously. i see the way you look at him, and he just gives you nothing in return. he treats you so horribly, i can't even—fuck. you just need to let him go, babe. and i know, it's gonna be so fucking hard at first, but you just have to push through that,"

"i'll be here the entire way through. you know i always have your back, even when you're in the wrong sometimes," you both chuckle at her small joke, "you deserve so much better than that dick, and i'm not just gonna sit here and watch from afar as he continues to break you down. you're gonna get through this, and i'm gonna make you forget he was even born."

you giggle at her choice of words, but you know what she's saying is right and that you need to listen to her, "okay."

tara smiles at you again, "okay. well, tomorrow we plan, and in the upcoming days we bring this fucker down."

your eyes widen and you put your palms up, shaking them in a protest, "woah, okay, we're not bringing anybody down, we're just getting me out of this hell-hole he put me in. is that clear?"

the shorter girl shrugs, a mischievous smile on her face, "same thing."

the phone buzzes on your nightstand, and you lean over to see who it is. chris' name pops up in bold letters at the top, his contact picture smiling brightly at you as he gives a thumbs up.

you came home just this morning, deciding that you would be fine to stay with chris for a little longer. you didn't want tara to deal with your shit. she didn't deserve to be wrapped up in this whole thing, and you didn't want to be seen a bad friend.

"hello?" you mutter, sitting back against the headboard as you cross your legs, preparing yourself for whatever stupid shit your boyfriend would say this time.

you didn't even know why he was calling. it was late at night, and he never called you. well, unless it was for a favor or something stupid. wasn't he supposed to be at a party with his "friends?"

chris giggles behind the phone, a dumb smile on his face as he stares at your through the screen. his hair is messy and his eyes are insanely red. was he seriously high right now? "hi—hey, y/n/n,"

"you call me again, drunk in your benz,

driving home under the influence..."

you gave him a smile, your eyebrow raising in confusion as you start to speak, but he cuts you off, "okay, i know what you're gonna ask, and don't worry, i'm calling you for—uh.. a good reason, mm'kay?"

"chris you're fucking high, don't lie to me." you sigh, squinting your eyes to see where he's at. it was dark, but you could make out that he was in his car. there was an open beer can in his cup holder, and only then did the realization hit you, "chris, what—christopher! what is that?"

the brunette looks down beside him, and he takes one hand off the wheel to grab the half-empty can, "it's beer, duh." he giggles, and you watch as he takes a sip of it before putting both hands back onto the steering wheel, "don't worry 'bout it, mamas."

"you scared me to death, but i'm wasting my breath,

'cause you only listen to your fucking friends..."

your eyes widen, and you furrow your eyebrows as a wave of—god knows what—washes over you, "chris, what the fuck do you mean 'don't worry about it?' you're driving drunk, you idiot!"

chris giggles at your outburst, eyes trained on the dark, empty streets of los angeles. he turns the wheel back and forth, driving a little over the speed limit just to get you on your toes. it works, and you swear you feel your heart stop. you don't even know what to say. you want to curse him out, gosh, you want to scream at the top of your fucking lungs but you know that'll only give him the satisfaction he wants.

how could you stay calm, though? he was pushing you so hard, you were bound to fall and break, "CHRIS! what the fuck—stop driving like you're fucking stupid, get off the road."

he doesn't listen, though, and you watch as he ponders his choices. he could either do what you say, continue to mess with you, or really test your patience. he smiles deviously and goes with the third option, "hm, there's a lot of mud over here, y'know?"

you don't even know how but your eyes widen more, breath catching as you squeeze your phone in your hands. your mouth is agape, and you feel tears prick in your eyes as his phone starts to shake. the car is moving faster now, and chris is grunting softly as he makes a wildly sharp turn, "chris!"

the phone falls to the passenger seat with a quiet thud, and chris screams loudly. you can't see him anymore. all you're met with is a black screen. a quiet sobs leaves your throat, and your eyes dart around the empty to screen for something, anything. did you just lose your boyfriend?

another cry, and now you're sobbing your heart out as you try to breathe properly. your free hand comes up to clutch the fabric of your shirt, trying to ground yourself as you make an effort to speak, "wha—no, no, no... chris?"

nothing but silence and the quiet hum of the car engine, not that you can hear it over the volume of your breathing. you can't even speak anymore, so shocked to the point that you freeze in fear. how were you gonna explain this to matt and chris? how were you gonna tell them that you could've stopped this from happening? how could you?

your heart aches, and your mind runs wild with all the questions that you'll have to answer. where is he? what happened? why did he do it? why weren't you there? why couldn't you help him? what the fuck is wrong with you? so many questions that you didn't have any answers for, "chris, please—i can't... fuck, i can't—"

laughing. he's laughing. wait, he's laughing? your eyes widen again, and you gasp, "oh my gosh, chris. chris oh my fucking—are you okay?"

he still laughs even as he grabs the phone, and as you finally see him, there's nothing wrong with the boy at all. there's no cuts, no broken glass or skin, no blood. you're grateful, but also confused. your mind wanders to endless possibilities, and you land on one you pray isn't true.

"oh my gosh, you should see your face right now!" he smiles, throwing his head back against the seat as he holds his stomach, "i got you so fucking good, hah! look at you, you're even crying."

and you were right. anger and disgust are clearly shown on your face now, and more tears begin to run down your cheeks, "what?"

why was this funny to him? was he seriously that fucked up to joke about literal death? chris just continues to cackle, "it's a prank, baby. now, calm down, don't start throwing a fit."

"i don't relate to you,

i don't relate to you, no."

you can't even describe how betrayed and angry you feel right now. maybe you were keen to the idea of bringing him down. no other girl should have to deal with his bullshit. you scoff, a bewildered smile on your face as you begin to speak.

"calm down? you're telling me to calm down, chris?" your smile fades as you continue, eyes darting all around his face through the phone screen, "you are so fucked up. you're brain is so fucked up, chris! what the hell is wrong with you?!"

chris just rolls his eyes, huffing quietly as he steps on the gas again. he tries shutting you out, but with how loud you're being, he really can't, "it's not even that big of a deal. not my fault you're always so sensitive, grow up!" he raises his voice, eyes on yours through the phone.

you couldn't believe this was the boy you once loved, screaming at you and telling you that you're the sensitive one, "i'm sensitive? you're getting mad at me for something you did, you asshole!" you yell, voice cracking at the end of your sentence.

chris groans, eyes squeezing shut as he slams on the breaks and punches the steering wheel several times. the horn beeps loudly, startling you for a quick second before you get used to it, "would you shut you're god damn mouth?! all you do is fucking cry and whine about everything!"

"yeah, i wonder why?" you scoff, not even giving him a chance to speak before you hang up the phone and let your hand fall to the side. you just want to throw the device at the wall, let all your anger out on something. on someone.

"'cause i'd never treat me this shitty.

you made me hate this city!"

"gosh, you are so insufferable!" chris yells, hands running through his hair before he tugs on it harshly. he turns his back to you, walking away a few steps before turning back, "what is your problem with me, y/n?"

your cross your arms over one another, letting your head tilt to the side as you take a step forward, "my problem is that you don't do shit for us, chris. you don't even try to keep our relationship running. i'm the only one who does, and you don't even care, do you?"

"you can't even look me in the eyes anymore. you aren't the boy i once knew, and i don't think you'll ever go back to him. you make me feel like shit every single day, chris!" you sigh, tears threatening to spill from your eyes again, "i can't do this anymore if you're not gonna love me like i love you. i'm not gonna deal with your problems anymore!"

chris stays silent, head pounding from all the stress and the alcohol he had earlier, "you'll come back."

you let your arms flail to the sides before coming up to rub at your temples, eyes fluttering shut as you sigh, "that. that's what makes me feel so... angry."

"you never listen! and you always think the odds will turn out in your favor, but they won't. that's not how life works, and we both know that. you just make it seem like you hate—" chris groans at your words, opening his mouth to speak, no, yell.

"like, i hate you? yeah, well, maybe i do, y/n!" chris' eyes are wide, and he looks like a rabid animal as he steps closer to you, "have you ever thought of that, or are you too in love to see it? god, i despise you!" it's not true, and he knows that. you know that.

"then why do you still call me baby and mamas? why do you even bother coming home each week and lying in bed next to me, huh?" a sigh leaves your trembling lips, and you finally look up at him, "you can act like you hate me, but you don't. you just want that power. you want me to come crawling back to you tomorrow."

"never told anyone anything bad.

'cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

and all that you did was make me fucking sad!"

"don't waste my time, chris, i don't need you to come at me for something that isn't my fault. i'm over it!" you yell, and then you feel the rain.

it beats down on both you and chris as you stand in silence for a few moments, taking in the tense atmosphere as you stare chris down and he stares at the ground. he really was the pathetic one, and he had the audacity to call you that?

you can't even tell if the droplets running down your face are tears or just water from the rain, but you don't care about that, all you care about is getting an explanation from chris as to why he was doing all this to you.

he huffs, and then you begin to yell over the hard rainfall again, "so, why? why are you doing this to me, chris?! why even waste your own time on me when you could be fucking other girls?"

"you don't even need me, so why?" you cry out, clutching your now soaked t-shirt, "what's the point, huh?"

chris finally looks into your eyes, and now you can see his lower lip tremble and tears in his blue eyes, "because you're the only one who actually cares about me." it's fake. he's done this before, and now you're actually aware of how many times he's guilt-tripped you like this.

you shake your head, running a hand through your wet hair to get it out of your face. you weren't a kid anymore, and he should know better than not to try this stupid again, but he still does. the first time he did this, it resulted in shutting out both your mom and boy best friend, and then it continued. every other time this happened it always resulted in throwing someone out of your life, but not this time.

"don't try to make me feel sorry for you, chris!" you scream, and now you don't even care if the neighborhood hears. you needed to let these screams out or they would build up until you broke, resulting in you lashing out on someone, "gosh, i fucking hate you for doing this to me! you ruined me, christopher!"

chris looks down again, and now he feels the shame coming down on him, "fucking look at me!" but he doesn't, he keeps his head down and kicks a nearby rock.

you don't feel bad anymore because you know he deserves it. he lets you scream at him because he knows he deserves it. neither of you was in the right headspace in that moment, but you both didn't care. chris would forget in a few days, and you wouldn't. how could you forget after 4 years of this?

the brunette takes a few steps forward, hands reaching out to cup your face, and you huff angrily. your hands are on his chest the moment he's in your face, and you shove him back harshly.

"you ruined everything good,

always said you were misunderstood,

made all my moments your own..."

"just fucking leave me alone!" you scream louder than before, and chris takes a step back with wide eyes. his eyes are finally making contact with yours, and he sees all of the emotions in them now.

the rain seems harder now, and chris wipes his face with the back of his hand as he steps back to his spot, staring at you from afar as he watches you breathe heavily and cry. you've been waiting to get those screams out, chris knew that well. he knew that he treated you poorly, but he... didn't care, actually. he had the world in his hands and he could replace you in an instant, so why did it hurt just that little bit?

tears are now running down his cheeks, and he sniffles as he looks away. he wasn't gonna let you see him when he was the most vulnerable. he couldn't. chris just sighed shakily as he looked back down at the ground again, tucking his hands into his soaked pockets.

you're still staring at him, and when you hear him chuckle quietly, you furrow your eyebrows. he walks away.

"yeah, go try to find someone better than me, bitch!" he yells over the rain and then jumps into his car, quickly backing out of the driveway and sleeping down the road.

you feel like you're suffocating as you watch him leave, and you swear your knees will give out if you don't move or do something. how could he leave after that? how could he leave after he told you that you were the only person who cared about him? if it was true, he wouldn't have left. if anything he said was true, he would've stayed and comforted you, he would've tried to bring this relationship back into the light. but he didn't because it was never true.

your lips parted, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you screamed again. your throat would definitely be sore in the morning, but who cared right now? you needed this, and you weren't gonna let it boil over until you took your anger out on someone who hadn't done anything. you didn't want to turn out like chris did.

@livialifesblog

[lookingfts]

I must know if where you place these Kate in your AUs (if anywhere):

Oof, she's hot. The suit - I'm not sure! Open to anyone's headcanon about which fic that fits into (mine or anyone else's!). The pink dress (which I adore) - probably "I didn't know that loving you was the happiest I've ever been." Kate in a fancy dress always reminds me of her dressing up to accompany Anthony to swanky events and Anthony fruitlessly trying not to fall in love with her.

[a-ikuoliver]

w/c: 2.4k tw/s: f!reader, alcohol, underage drinking, characters 17/18 (high school grad age lmao), emotionally neglectful parents notes: so incredibly selfship coded sorrynotsorry i need him in ways i cannot describe, thank u my loves @t-tomuras & @heartsyougave for always helping me i will love u in every life mwah + archive link if you prefer <3

you were a good baby. your mother had gone on and on about it when speaking to your family, their sweet coos of how adorable you were was always followed by how easy you were. no colic, hardly ever sick (your mothers favourite fact that you'd started sleeping through the night before any of the other kids in her mama & me group), the happiest, giddiest baby if the photos decorating the house were anything to go by; pictures of you giggling in the sink for a bath, babbling while you crawled through the house, squealing with two tiny teeth poking out of your gums when you'd play with your animal blocks.

you were a good child. your parents bragging to their friends about you constantly; not clingy, not whiny, so independent. every report card was a testament to your friendliness, your teachers gushing about how well you played, well-behaved, quiet, how they always trusted you to stay attentive as the rowdier kids tugged at your belongings.

you were a good teenager. quiet. reserved. smart.

relaxed. easy. unbothered.

the kind your parents friends adored.

the kind of teenager that didn't kick up a fuss when they'd forget to pick you up after school, or when your hobbies were brushed aside, or even when they told you they'd booked a trip, only two weeks long they assured you, promising you'd be okay without them. you were a good teenager, you'd be able to take care of yourself.

in return, you reassure them, too, you'll be okay. you'll be good. you'll make smart decisions.

you don't kick up a fuss, don't even mention your graduation date, right in the centre of their trip, when your parents will be preoccupied with sunshine and drinks and dancing.

you're a good kid. you don't cling. you don't whine. you don't cry. not the kind of kid your parents have to worry, or think, about.

"i've never done this," you think your voice wavers, either with excitement, apprehension, you don't quite know.

"never snuck around? i know, i've been trying to get you to come party with me since my fifteenth." the tension around you melts, even as you glare at your best friend, your shoulders sagging with every ounce of stress slowly abandoning your body staring up at him, your lips even tugging a little at the corner.

"this is far different than sneaking over to your house, oliver."

"well, duh, we're stealing alcohol this time," stretching the final inch to the cabinet above the fridge, he grasps two bottles from the tall cupboard, inspecting the labels with a firm grip around the necks of the bottles, "vodka okay?"

you shrug, you didn't know what vodka tasted like, only knew that this was expensive. this is your long-awaited teen rebellion, isn't it even better if it's not okay? if your parents return home, aghast at a house full of empty bottles and broken glasses? (you know they won't. you know you'll wake up tomorrow and tidy your mess, you'll be the good kid you are.)

pressing your back into the cold steel of the fridge, you stare up at oliver, reaching for one of the clear bottles, inspecting it like he had, the percentage on the front of the label meaning nearly nothing to you, "i've never had it before."

"you've never had anything," oliver teases, odd eyes glinting impishly when you crack a tiny grin at him. in all your years of friendship, he had never failed to make you smile, always drawing out a bubbly person, the you oliver knew like the back of his hand.

you'd been upset since your parents left, even more so this morning since you got to school, your dim eyes meeting his shining with energy, blue and green radiant, eager for the end of this chapter; he'd seen the dejected look in your eye, the small line of tears gathering in your waterline when you asked him to come over after the ceremony.

if oliver had asked you, he's certain you'd flash a smile at him, say you were fine, you were good, assure him not to worry. he knew you better than that.

"i have so!" immaturely, you snatch the second bottle from his arms, something about his teasing always riling you up easily, always having you act like a stubborn child even as you played at being an adult for the night. setting the bottles down, you debate getting martini glasses down, somehow using plastic cups feels too immature for your newfound rebellion, your sprouting adulthood.

"name one thing," the lid cracks easily in oliver's hands, his lips splitting into a grin when you stutter over your answer, "tell you what, let's play a game instead."

placing two plastic tumblers on the counter (deciding against the glass, deciding they're too grown up for a teen rebellion) letting oliver fill them with the alcohol and juice until they're nearly overflowing.

"name one thing you haven't done, and if i've done it, i'll drink it."

"… you mean never have i ever." you stare blankly at him, leaning a hip on the counter.

"i guess you can call it that."

"quit acting like you invented the game," again, his eyes sparkle when your lip curves even more at his stupid jokes, finally seeing a flash of your teeth.

"i mean, can you really prove i didn't?"

"let me see if i understand this brand new game," holding the bottle in one hand, and your glass in the other, you wander from the kitchen to the living room, sitting cross-legged on the floor, waiting for oliver to follow suit before continuing, "never have i ever: invented a drinking game that was already invented before."

you give him a pointed look, your first giggle of the night breaking through the air as he rolls his eyes and takes a sip of the drink, grimacing a little at the flavour, the cups poured with far too much vodka.

"my turn."

"good luck, is there anything you haven't done?" you repeat in the same tone he'd used on you in the kitchen, playfully jabbing at your best friend.

he was a horrible influence truly, almost completely opposite to you; rolling his eyes at you from across the maths classroom, knowing you'd offer to help him later, winking at you from across the soccer field whenever he scored while you studied on the sidelines, revving his car beside you whenever he caught you walking along the street, his list of athletic achievements at graduation was longer than anyone else, while your name had only a few listed after, oliver earning cheers and screams from his teammates and every fan he'd earned in the school, you on the other hand had only heard him calling, whistling and cheering your name from the crowd, whooping still when you walked back down the stairs from the stage with hot cheeks.

with a playful glare, he speaks, "never have i ever: stolen my parents vodka."

"that's cheating, you've stolen plenty of their drinks."

"never vodka before. and, as the creator of this game, i declare you must drink."

rolling your eyes, you take a mouthful of the drink, grimacing like oliver had at the awful taste, the liquid dancing from your tongue down to your stomach, already making your fingers tingle at the exhilaration.

"you like it?"

with your face still scrunched up, you shake your head, trying to think of any universe where people would choose to drink this, oblivious to his gaze washing over you, both of you still in your uniforms, your mascara smudged at your waterline, your fist clenched on your thigh, willing yourself to like the abhorrent drink he'd made.

"you get used to it," oliver laughs, taking another short sip of the drink in his own glass, the taste not as polarising after the first drink of it.

"i don't believe you," you tease, following his suit, taking another small sip, hoping to force your taste buds to adapt to the taste quickly, pausing your drinking only to continue the game, "never have i ever rejected the person i fawned over for a literal year just because she asked me out first."

he pouts before taking a sip, mumbling under his breath like a petulant child.

"what was that, huh?" your cheeks are warm, the tips of your fingers already tingling with each mouthful more, already nearing the bottom of your glass, oliver's now empty after this drink.

"i wasn't fawning over her." he mumbles like a brat again, leaning over you to reach for the bottle, topping up your glass then his own, making no comment to the fact his crush had all but vanished the moment she'd approached him beside your locker after school had ended, ren leaning between the two of you to flirt with your best friend, the glimmer in his eyes dimming the more she spoke, seemingly only bright when he'd glance at you over her shoulder.

"never have i ever fallen asleep during one of my matches." he nearly tips your glass all over you, pushing it closer with a very pointed look, the memory from your first year of friendship always fresh in your mind, only ten falling asleep beside the soccer field, staying up all night the day before after your first sleepover of many at the aiku house, oliver had too much energy for a child, and you still stand by that now.

"how many times are you going to make me apologise for that?" dramatically, you sigh and roll your eyes, having a mouthful of the drink he shoved towards you.

raising the drink to your lips, you swig your losing drink.

"never have i ever kissed someone."

glancing at him over the rim, you think you can almost see two of him, something that would once terrify you, two olivers? you can't imagine living in a world like that. now, it makes you feel a little warm, a fuzziness flowering over your spine that you hope is because of the wine. you hope it's just because he's the one in front of you right now and for no other reason. not when you knew oliver's dreams, his plans, and your own ambitions. both of you planning to abandon the town you grew up together in for bigger, better things.

"that's cheating." both blurry oliver's glare at you, slurring his words ever-so-slightly.

"no, it's not!" you're quick to defend yourself, nearly tipping backwards onto the floor, batting away his hand trying to pass you the bottle as punishment for lying, goading you into doing a penalty shot.

"is too! what about that guy you dated?" oliver knows his name, hadn't forgotten it since you told him you had a boyfriend a year ago.

"sota? we hardly dated for a fortnight."

"you never kissed him?"

giggling, you shake your head, your eyes sluggish to meet his again when you take another sip.

"did you want to?"

"kiss sota? not now." you make a disgusted face at him, similar to the one you'd made after your very first drink, sticking your tongue out dramatically, "at the time, i don't know, his lips didn't look soft like yours do, though."

"you look at my lips?" your face is hot, from the alcohol, from your loose lips.

"what? no." fuck, you said that way too fast, the lie making your body hotter when you glanced at his smiling lips now, flashing his teeth laughing at you, a large hand clutching his stomach, your embarrassment more hilarious than normal with the vodka running through his veins.

"it's okay if you do, i think about kissing you, too."

you freeze, mid-stretch toward your glass, stuck between wanting to clear your dry throat with the alcohol, something to keep your hands busy and to remain frozen like a deer in headlights, as if your movement is what you'd heard instead of his words. to keep you from staring at his eyes. when had you two gotten so close?

despite your proximity, oliver leans closer, leaning his forearm on the table beside you to inch further into your space, his hair tickling your forehead.

"you want to kiss me?" it's all but a whisper into the room, loud enough for him to hear, but not enough to disturb the atmosphere around you both.

"do you want to kiss me?"

you don't move, you don't want to disrupt the air as you both lean forward into the other, losing yourself in his gravity.

your lips are barely an inch away from his, your eyes stuck on his soft pink smile, you think you've been staring at his lips since he cheered for you walking across the stage at 10am, his beaming smile at the forefront of your mind.

"yes." you don't remember saying the words as soon as your lips move, too preoccupied by the sensation of his mouth on yours, of his hair between your fingertips, of his hands on your jaw, your saliva becoming his and his oxygen becoming your own. your head feels weightless, his hands steadfast on you all that's keeping you from floating away.

you don't know if you're too intoxicated by the alcohol or him but it feels so different from how your friends had described their adventures in kissing, how strange and alien it felt to taste someone else, to breathe (you keep forgetting to inhale, oliver's touch on your warm skin stealing the oxygen from your lungs each time you think to suck in some air), where to put your hands, how to use your tongue.

all of their stories felt nothing like this. nothing they described could live up to this.

you sigh against his lips, melting into his body, a million thoughts racing through your mind and somehow not a single thing floating to the forefront except the feeling of his touch on your mind. a deep want panging in your gut when his lips part, his tall frame crowding closer to you, your head tilting back almost until you're laid beneath him on the floor.

you almost think this is too much for a friend to just help a friend learn how to kiss, almost pull away to break the connection between your bodies, almost remember his plans to leave here. to move on.

you break the kiss after what feels like hours, certain your eyes are crossed and glazed when you stare up at him, his hands still cradling your jaw, yours slipping from his hair down to his shoulders, averting your eyes thinking of him moving on, forgetting this kiss while it would haunt you for your life.

© all works belong to @a-ikuoliver, @gwen0m, and dlirious on archive of our own, do not plagiarise, translate, repost, feed my works into ai or recommend my work on other platforms, or bind my fanworks for sale.

[lecsainz]

we keep this lowkey

pairings: lewis hamilton x styles!reader

summary: the one where harry styles' younger sister is seen with lewis and everyone starts commenting about a possible romance between them.

authors note: since we had lewis on the podium today, I had to write somethinggg!!!

deuxmoi

liked by leckart, harryhouse, and 18.876 others

deuxmoi New Couple Alert? Lewis Hamilton the formula one champion and Harry Styles' younger sister, Y/N, spotted having a blast on jet skis. Could this be the start of a new power and hot couple? Stay tuned for more updates! ☀️😍

view all 1.710 comment

wagloveer lewis and y/n?! my mind is blown!

hrryswft my two worlds colliding!!

luvf1 I didn't even know they knew each other.

stylesdaily I think they met at a fashion show last year russellsafes wait, wasn't it Harry who introduced them?

lewchamp Isn't she too young for Lewis? girl, you're 25 years old!

verstlerc I thought the same

hateseveryone I don't like her. 🤮

mercgirly lewis trying to hide in the first photo. 😂

yn_styles added to their story

harrystyles added to their story

yn_styles added to their story

yn_styles

liked by harrystyles, lilyjcollins, and 1.638.891 others

yn_styles When you find that special someone who can make you smile even on your worst days... that's the real deal! This man right here has stolen my heart and become my everything! Lewis, you're the one who brings sunshine to my days, makes me believe in fairytales, and shows me what true love is all about.

tag: lewishamilton

Comments have been limited.

lewishamilton You're the sunshine in my life, Y/N! Every day with you is a blessing. Thank you for your love and for making me the happiest man in the world.

harrystyles Hahaha, finally! Took you guys long enough! So happy for you both. Take good care of her, mate! And Y/N, remember to keep him on his toes 😉 Sending all my love and support!

gemmastyles Aww, my heart is bursting with happiness for you both! Seeing my little sis so happy with someone who adores her brings tears to my eyes. Wishing you both a lifetime of love, laughter, and beautiful moments together. Cherish every second, you two! ❤️

lewishamilton

liked by neymar, dualipa, and 2.087.758 others

lewishamilton When you find someone who understands you in ways no one else does... that's when you know it's something special. My love, you're the one who makes my heart skip a beat and fills my life with so much love.

tag: yn_styles

Comments have been limited.

yn_styles Ah, babe, you're making me blush! 😊 You truly are the most amazing person I've ever known. Thank you for bringing so much love and happiness into my life. Can't wait for more incredible adventures together. Love you endlessly, Lewis! ❤️

mercedesamgf1 Love seeing our champion with his number one supporter! Can we finally say that she's a fan of Mercedes now? 😉🔥

lewishamilton I guess the secret's out! She's been supporting us all along!

georgerussell63 congrats, mate! looks like you found your perfect co-driver in life too. wishing you both all the happiness!

danielricciardo Congrats, you two! Wishing you all the love and happiness in the world. Oh, and Y/N, any chance I can score some free tickets to Harry's show now? 😉🎶

yn_styles Thanks, Daniel! We'll see what we can do maybe a backstage pass for you!

[hyperdramas]

small girl fantasy | lee seokmin

pairing: lee seokmin x fem!reader

warnings: mention of body types, peer pressure, sweet sweet fluff

now playing: small girl — lee young ji (ft. d.o.)

"Am I small enough?" Staring down at your exposed stomach, you frown into the mirror, eyes downcast as you turn back to your boyfriend.

Seokmin shoots up from his lying position on the bed, eyebrows downturned as he juts out his bottom lip, pouting like a child. The male pushes a curl from his face, blicking rapidly as his dark hair tickles his eyelashes.

"Baby, what do you mean?" Seokmin looked geniuenly confused, and you sighed, trudging over to him as you pushed your hair away from your face.

"Like....my stomach. Is it fine-looking?" You shyly pull up your top, embarassed to show your sweet boyfriend your bare stomach.

A few of you and your friends went shopping today, and the four of you were looking for sundresses that were suitable for a date. Most of the ones you were interested didn't fit you very well, and you had a suspicion that you had grown a few sizes since last shopping spree. Your friends didn't make you feel any better, either—they joked about how small the dresses were on you, and it made you self-conscious.

More self-conscious than you felt before.

"Baby, what type of question is that? Of course your tummy is fine looking." Seokmin—bless his sweet, innocent heart—looked up at you with his familiar dark brown eyes, pouting at your question. He even called your stomach tummy, which made you feel a little bit better.

"I don't know, I just think I've been filling out. Like instead of growing up and down...I've been growing left and right." The frown on your face tugs at Seokmin's heart strings, and he reaches out his hand, begging you to take it as he pulls you to the bed.

"Sweet girl, please listen to me. You're beautiful just the way you are, people change and their weight is a part of the parts that change. You're going to change and grow and many ways, both physical and mentally, but it'll all be for a good reason in the end. Don't be hard on yourself because of simple things like this; if you want to get better, go ahead and start making the steps to being more healthy. If not, though, I'll still love you for who you are. Not how you look or how you sound. Okay?" Seokmin looked into your eyes with such a softness, you felt your eyes water as you nodded against his hand, now cupping your cheek.

"Okay." You sighed, lips flying to Seokmin's in a split second as he breathed into your mouth happily.

His hands snaked around your stomach, fingertips brushing your cold skin as he continued to kiss you. Seokmin was the happiest man right now, you could bet, and you were just as happy as he was.

"Now, do you still want to order pizza? I think your stummy is hungry." Seokmin laughs cutely, eyes sparkling with mischief as he locks gaze with you, to which you nod happily and giggle when Seokmin's lips touch your belly button delicately.

"I love you and your body, okay? Never doubt that. Ever." Seokmin sounds serious—which is rare, so you nod, smiling as the day continues on.