#i didn't know better and had no ulterior motives!!!!! it was a genuine mistake!!!! and now i know better!!!! IT IS FINE

[robinsnest2111]

ah, getting lowkey shamed by the lady at the cash register for trying to get a refund and apparently trying on a pair of tights wrong???? (didn't even know there's a wrong way to do it but apparently there is and I did it and shit's fucked)

anyway. got the refund and learned a lesson :')

[vikkirosko]

Hi! May I please request headcanons for Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggie, and Husk (separately) with a sinner!S/O who stays at the hotel and somehow has a pretty innocent and kind personality despite being in hell? Thank you so much!

Headcanons Innocent and kind

🌈 Charlie Morningstar x sinner!Reader 🎶

When you arrived at the hotel, Charlie was happy. There weren't many guests in her hotel, so she was happy with every new person. You were a special sinner. Even though you were in Hell, you were a kind, innocent and sincere person. At least that's how you seemed to her when you first met

When she got to know you better, she was convinced that you were sincere, you weren't pretending and you didn't have ulterior motives. Charlie liked the fact that you were genuinely willing to help others. You sincerely believed in redemption and the princess was sure that you would succeed

You were both kind and you were happy to help her at the hotel. You believed in her idea and supported her when Charlie was in decline. Your sincere belief that her idea had a chance to come true and that sinners could really atone for their sins

Charlie knew that someone might find you both a little naive, but she knew that you would succeed. She was glad that she had you, because together you could handle any difficulties. You were both sure of that

❌ Vaggie x sinner!Reader 🎀

Once in Hell, Vaggie doubted that it was possible to find someone untouched by sin there. She thought so before she met you. You were an unusual sinner. You were unusually kind and innocent, as if you were not a sinner but a real angel. It made her uneasy. She thought it was just a mask and you actually had ulterior motives

She watched you for a long time, trying to find out exactly what you were hiding. However, she saw absolutely nothing suspicious. You were really sincere, which made her feel guilty, because Vaggie really thought that you were cheating on her and everyone else

You genuinely cared about her and helped her. She felt safer around you, because she knew that she was safe with you. Next to you, Vaggie could relax and not think that something bad could happen. It was like you were sharing your warmth and faith in the best with her

Vaggie didn't know why you, being such a kind and innocent person, ended up in Hell. She wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be a mistake and you really should have been in Heaven. But even if that was the case, you were together now and that was the main thing for her

🃏 Husk x sinner!Reader 🥃

Husk was skeptical of everyone who came to the hotel and you were no exception. He didn't understand how you could even be so kind and innocent, and if you really were like that, then why did you end up in Hell. He didn't hide the fact that he didn't believe you and it upset you. Husk found it hard to believe that someone like you could end up in Hell

Husk watched you interact with the rest of the hotel's residents. You were always sincere, you tried to help others and you even reminded him of Charlie in some way. In the evenings, you kept him company while sitting at the bar. You didn't drink, but you sat with him, not wanting him to sit there alone. It was thanks to the evenings you spent at the bar together that he got to know you better

Husk was getting softer next to you. He smiled faintly, watching you sincerely help others. It started to seem sweet to him. You and your innocence began to seem sweet to him. The fact that you did so much for others without any benefit to yourself was unusual, but since it pleased you, Husk was not going to interfere with you

Husk knew that you were having problems because of your kindness, so he looked out for you. He didn't want anyone to hurt you. You were a really good person and he hoped that you could stay that way

🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x sinner!Reader 🐍

Lucifer sincerely believed that sinners would be able to atone for their sins, but over time this faith faded. He saw how sinners did not change over the years. It was only thanks to his daughter that changes began in Hell and it was at her hotel that he met you

You were a sinner, but you stood out from the rest because of your character. You were kind and innocent, even though you lived in Hell. Lucifer was watching you with surprise. It was hard for him to believe that a good person like you ended up in Hell. It was like there was some kind of mistake and you should have ended up in Heaven. But looking at you, the hope burned in him again that sinners still have a chance

Lucifer enjoyed talking to you. You smiled sincerely, looking at the rubber ducklings that he made, you talked on a variety of topics and next to you he felt like he was inspired. For the first time in a long time, he felt like this. Next to you, he was genuinely smiling and laughing. He felt happy with you

Lucifer saw how hard you tried to atone for your sins. You remained the same kind and innocent no matter what, and he wanted to help you. There were warm feelings for you in his chest and he hoped that he could make you happier

[luveline]

For the zombie Steve au would you ever consider writing a blurb from before the college when Steve realizes he likes reader?

for you, my love!! steve zombie au —steve realises he likes you romantically, fem!reader

You're singing under your breath. Steve has it on record that he thinks you're a bad singer, but you don't sound half bad. Low, dulcet, you're singing an old song everybody knows. 

"Somewhere, beyond the sea, she's there waiting for me." You don't bother with the next line, interested more in the sock you're attempting to darn, the needle in your hand clumsy but well-meant. "Oh, ouch." 

"Prick yourself?" 

"I'm sorry?" you joke, laughing without answering his question. "I don't think that's any of your business, Harrington."

He grins at your saccharine, bubbly voice, enthused with laughter and unhurried. For once, you're not scared or anxious. The simple task of a repetitive action has distracted you from the reality of the world, and you're still being nice to him regardless. Steve's starting to think that, despite his bad moods and ill temper, you might like him. Or, starting to know it with surety. 

He figured when your shyness getting changed didn't ever quite abate, when you started snuggling into his waist at night, when one day you began complimenting him for things beyond survival skills —your hair is such a nice brown, Stevie— when you started calling him fucking Stevie, that you must harbour sweet feelings for him. He figured, and yet he had no idea how to feel about it. 

Steve started to confuse his feelings for yours, and vice versa. Wondering if maybe he was being nicer to you than he needed to be because he knew that was what you wanted. But he's sitting here now, cross-legged beside you on a double bed with no sheets in an abandoned house that's completely sealed from the inside out, no survival instincts, no ulterior motives, and he knows he likes you. That he might start to love you, if he has the time. 

He thinks about kissing you. 

"Do you need a bandaid?" he asks genuinely. 

"For this?" you ask, showing him your finger and the pinprick bead of blood that's blossomed there. You lick it clean. "No, thank you." 

"Alright. Want me to finish your sock?" 

"No, that's okay." You give him a suspicious look. "Why?" 

"What do you mean, why?" 

"Why would I want you to finish my sock?" you ask.

"Uh, 'cos you just hurt yourself? I'm trying to be nice." 

"Ooh, it suits you," you say, rolling your eyes. 

He reaches over to pinch your side. You jump, startled by his touch and surprised by his wanting to touch you, he can see it on your face. He really should be kinder to you. You don't do anything wrong, you're not mean, you're not even a liability or anything so strict. You're just a girl —you're more than a girl. You're the best friend he has right now, and you look out for him in more than necessities. 

"Who do you think you are?" he asks, giving you another jab. 

You laugh and squirm away from him. "I think I'm someone with a needle in their hand, ready to stab you," you say. 

"Really, you'd stab me? You're heartless. And here I thought you liked me." 

"I do like you," you say, tucking the needle you'd been waving at him behind a few threads of floss in the bobbin. 

"I like you too," he says. As soon as he says it, he knows it's true. You may not understand the depth of his words, but Steve does, and he can't shake the feeling that you need a reward. For being so likeable. For liking him first. "Give me your sock, I can darn better than you can." 

"You've had more practice," you explain away, though you do pass him your sock.

"Are you going to finish the song?" he asks. 

You glare. "Thought I sounded like a dying cat?" 

"You'll never let that go, will you?" 

"No, not likely." 

You laugh again, and this time Steve joins in. He retrieves the needle and sets about fixing the mistakes you'd made, hiding a smile as you lay down by his thigh, your hand curled up by his foot, and start to sing. "You have to join in," you say ugrnelty between lines. 

Steve joins in. Not worried about sounding good, not worried about anything, the two of you making up the words you forgot, out of tune but far from out of time. 

[otomes-and-tears]

thoughts on shiloh and jb,,,, theyre so fun to think abt as a dynamic no matter how u choose to slice it

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT THIS, ANON!! I want to smooch your forehead. I'm so happy rn.

Okay so-- I like to think that Shiloh initially only agreed to date JB out of self-interest, but eventually developed genuine feelings for her that he's in denial about.

We all know that he chooses to closely associate with people who will offer him something in return, and being with JB is DEFINITELY beneficial for him in the beginning:

First, by going out with her he's setting himself apart from the other jerks. He already acts differently from them, being nice, cheerful and helpful, and dating someone who others would consider desirable would do good for his social standing (and we know that shiloh has a bit of a reputation for being a manwhore, so actually settling down with someone for once would make him appear better) and it would solidify the idea that he's in the jerksquad by mistake and that he's "totally normal you guys" for people who still didn't catch on to him being a snake.

We also know that part of the reason is literally just that JB is the one thing that all the jerks have in common. They're all attracted to her in some capacity, and Shiloh can rub it in their faces in his own way that he "won" by being with her.

I think that JB being physically attractive and fitting his type are just minor points for him. If it was down to just physical attraction he wouldn't have bothered with a romantic relationship. He did, canonically, have a bunch of flings, so we know that for him accept a serious, exclusive relationship meant that there was a lot of incentive for him to do so.

So by all accounts, this is literally the perfect scenario for him: He's with someone attractive and fun, he pisses Pran off, people will see him in a better light and, the best part of all, JB is aware that he has ulterior motives and doesn't care about what they are, just as long he's praising her and being amusing.

There doesn't need to be any actual feelings involved. It's a mutually beneficial relationship that hinges on both parts fulfilling their pre-assigned roles. It's straightforward and uncomplicated, even if their dynamic is kind of fucked up if you think too hard about it.

But... And maybe this is just the hopeless romantic in me, but I do think that Shiloh eventually starts developing actual feelings for JB, and it would be fucking terrible for him.

There's this one post where GB lady talks about Shiloh's loneliness, and I think about it way too much. Even if you choose to see him as someone who just discards and replaces people in his life as soon as they're not of use anymore, he still feels isolated and lonely, because of course he does! Shiloh spent his entire life not letting people in and just following whoever established themselves as a leader, he even admits to it himself in Our life.

Shiloh doesn't have any actual, meaningful relationships because he can't have them and still maintain that same pattern of behaviour that he's used to, and letting go of these old habits would be incredibly difficult for someone whose entire childhood socialization was built onto this foundation.

Like-- I know that is a clichê for people to trace back everything to someone's childhood, but I cannot stress enough how CRUCIAL childhood socialization is for human development. Of course, people can grow and change even if they had difficult childhoods, but you need a good foundation in order to build healthy habits, and while Shiloh did have loving parents who wanted to do good by him, the behaviours and thought patterns he picked up during his childhood are still things we can see he struggles with throughout his life.

Building long-lasting connections with people means that he needs to allow himself to be vulnerable and genuine, It means that Shiloh needs to let go of the safety of the "boss and sidekick" dynamic that he's used to, and that especially, he would need to let go of his habit of entering relationships with the expectation of leaving them eventually.

I don't think these are things he's incapable of doing, if you choose to believe that he was being genuine with Liz during their conversation in OLBA, but these are things that he has resistance to trying because they have outcomes that are difficult to predict, and Shiloh is as his most comfortable when he's able to read someone and be what they need him to be or manipulate them into giving to him what he wants. He thrives on predictability and control.

I believe that actually falling in love with JB would be something he'd be in denial about for a long time. I think it would be hard for him to rationalise having actual, genuine feelings for someone after he spent an entire life avoiding them, and it would be even harder for him to deal with the very real possibility of this relationship having an expiration date, or, even worse, him wanting to be with her past her usefulness.

And it's not like he has anyone to talk to about these things, or that JB would even believe him if he admitted to actually liking her. I do think that Shiloh is the kind of person who would try to bury these feelings inside as much as possible to try and regain some sense of normalcy and you'd never be able to tell, bc he's just acting like normal.

By the prom scene, I think he actually likes her. I think he purposefully takes advantage of the fact that she doesn't take anything he says seriously to say things he actually means. I think him opening up about his manipulation tactics goes beyond him just wanting to manipulate her further (though I do think that keeping her interested enough she doesn't want to break up is a good motivator for him to keep on manipulating her too) and is also Shiloh's way of testing her boundaries and just how much she's willing to put up with if he starts being honest with her.

I don't think he knows whether or not to break up with her by graduation. She's asking him, but he doesn't know what to answer. Being with her beyond high school and putting effort into staying with JB long-distance doesn't really benefit Shiloh like it did when they were both in high school, and staying with JB long-term would mean that at some point he'd have to look deep inside and ask himself if he's willing to change.

And yeah, he's lonely, and he loves JB, but is that worth giving up everything you know?

Buuut if you want my honest opinion, which I'm guessing you do because you read through this mountain of text, I like to think that him allowing Liz back into his life is a good sign. It, at the very least, means that he is willing to maintain one relationship and that he's willing to be at least somewhat honest with someone. That's already miles better from where he was when Xoxo Droplets started.

By the way-- if you agree or disagree with anything I said here I'd LOVE to hear people's takes on this topic! I love talking about them!

[archiveofthelibrarian]

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Manwion had hair of silver, which at night, reflected the starry sky yet glistened gold when Laurelin waxed. His long silver waves was adored by all, Quendi and Ainur alike, rivaled only by the gold-silver hair of Artanis which was said to have captured the very essence of the Two Trees.

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Love and Glass

Chapter 1

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Inspired by my conversation with @animatorweirdo as anon here.

I did not proof read this, so feel free to point out any mistakes.

Masterpost for the fic can be found here.

DISCLAİMER: I do not own anything you recognize. This is a fanwork for entertainment purposes and should be regarded as such.

Word count: 1.162

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It was just like any other night.

You were on your couch, relaxing and catching up on that show you had neglected for the past month.

It had been a very hectic month at work.

You didn't even want to think, so Netflix was it.

The hours went on and you became more engaged in your show by the minute.

But suddenly, your attention was torn away from the show by a very suspicious noise coming from your backyard.

Cautiously, you took your gun and went to investigate the matter.

What you found was a creature of such beauty, it was otherworldly.

Though he was the exact same height as you and appeared human, he was anything but a normal human.

His hair was silver and it went down to his waist in delicate waves as it reflected the starry night as an ocean, calm and deep.

His face was drained and his complexion was of unsullied light.

His eyes were the darkest shade of blue, capturing the light of stars in themselves.

You were completely entranced, but through some miracle, you managed to keep your guard up.

"Who are you?" you asked, pointing the gun to his forehead.

The creature tilted his head in curiosity. His eyes shined with childlike wonder and innocence.

"What is that?" he asked with pure wonder and innocence. His voice felt like liquid gold to your ears.

"Answer the question!"

The creature flinched and took a step away from you, terrified.

It would be very unwise to trust him, yet it seemed the creature was genuine in his every behavior.

It was almost like he was untouched by malice and did not know of any ulterior motives.

Ignoring the screaming voice of reason in your brain, you lowered your gun and started speaking softly. "Hey, hey. I am sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

The creature looked you in the eyes, his very gaze piercing your heart. "Really?"

You nodded. "Yes, I was just trying to be cautious."

The creature seemed to have believed you in an instant as he lowered his guard entirely.

"Now, what is your name?"

"I don't have a name," the creature said. You felt a tinge in your heart. How could someone not have a name? You so desperately wanted to ask, yet knew better than to pry into a stranger's personal matters.

"Then, how do your people call you?"

"Manwion," he said. "The Amanyar call me Manwion for I am the son of Manwë and Varda."

You felt as if someone poured a bucket of ice-cold water over your head.

"I am sorry, did you say Manwë and Varda?"

He nodded. "Yes, the King and Queen of Arda," he said tilted his head. "Do you not know them? How can you not know them?"

That was it. You had fallen into a coma during work and this was some coma dream shit.

You must have frozen since the creature gently took your hand, jolting you awake.

"Are you okay," he asked.

This was a dream. It had to be.

But the evidence was right here.

"Yeah, I am. Just, surprised..."

That part of your brain which has always been too kind decided to take matters into its own hands as you decided to go invite him in. Whether it was a dream or reality, you couldn't leave someone out here in the middle of the night.

"Why don't you come inside and then we can talk. It is quite a chilly night after all.

The creature smiled. "Okay."

Throughout the entire night, you two talked and as the first light of the sun dawned on earth, it became clear to you that this creature was truly what he claimed to be.

He was the son of Manwë and Varda, the King and Queen of Arda.

He was Manwion, the Silver Prince of Arda,, who was made out of silver crystal and given life.

He was the embodiment of innocence and joy.

He could never know any evil or malice for his heart was untouched by any of it.

But it did not mean malice was nonexistent because he couldn’t know it. And this was a world full of malicious intent.

He was so vulnerable here.

If anyone found out about his existence aside from yourself, they would take him and turn him into a lab rat.

The images of this creature of pure light and joy being experimented on played in your head.

It was so horrible.

You could not let that happen.

So you decided to hide Manwion’s existence from the world, letting him stay in your house.

Manwiom really wasnt hard to love with his cheerful and radiant personality.

He really was the embodiment of joy.

As days turned intp weeks and weeks turned into months, you found yourself liking Manwion more and more.

Looking at him when he wasnt looking, bringing him new things he had not known earlier so that you could see his face light up with joy...

You had fallen in love and you had fallen hard.

But Manwion was a divine being of another world, he was the Silver Prince of Arda and you were but a mere human from Earth who worked 8-5 and ran on cafdeine most of the time.

The thought of having your affection resipricsted seened like fever dream no matter how you looked at it.

But he did in fact return your affections. And he return them as much more beauty than you ever thought was possible.

And so began your days of bliss on Earth.

But it would not last as few things ever did.

Despite all your caution, the authorities managed to find out about Manwion and thus began a search for him.

With no other choice, you took the barest necessities for your survival and Manwion and you fled from your home.

You held the hand of Manwion tight as the light from police cars threatened to blind you.

Manwion's hands were shaking from terror.

There were so many guns pointed at you.

The officer repeated his demand for you to turn yourselves in.

You were hesitant to speak as anything you said would render you in an even worse situation.

Just when you thought it was all over, the very fabric of the space-time was torn, revealing a dark tentacle.

The tentacle started wreaking havoc as it blasted the police cars away.

In the chaos, you and Manwion got separated.

The moment you realized he was not with you, you started to look around frantically.

And suddenly, your world narrowed to the sight of him screaming as he was captured and dragged into the depths of the void by the dark creature.

Without thinking, your body sprang into action taking a gun one of the officers had managed to somehow lose, you held onto the tencale and got dragged with him into the void.

The tear on the fabric fixed itself, trapping you, the creature and Manwion inside.

[thefoolsloop]

The Burnt City - a couple of improved shows gives me a sunnier outlook

I believe I've now been to TBC more times than I went to TDM. This has nothing to do with the merits of each production: I came quite late to TDM and by the time I'd really got into it the show was nearing its end. TBC happens to be on, it happens to be (acceptably) convenient and I have a number of friends I can go with on different dates. So it just happens to work out.

So why am I still going back? First of all, as I said before, even less than perfect Punchdrunk is better than no Punchdrunk. And a couple of good shows have tilted the balance towards TBC. I still don't miss it much when I'm gone, but at least I have a good time when I'm there.

(A little spoilery below, but not much.)

In my penultimate show to date I had the pleasure of an entire loop with Milton's Zagreus. Amazingly sympathetic, his performance is warm and sincere, keeping you invested even in the downtime when he's just moving things around on the bar top. Milton generously granted me both 1:1s and the napkin interaction, and they all reinforce the sincerity of his character. This is a Zagreus with no agenda, no ulterior motive than to show his affection for Eurydice. For the final loop I transferred myself over to Eurydice (Yen-Ching Lin, much better than I had anticipated). They had so much chemistry, essential for this pair. It was good to see both sides of the same relationship - perhaps this will be a good idea going forward (Aga/Cly again, or Iph/Pat? I haven't done a full Polymestor loop yet, so maybe him and Polydorus in the same show would make sense).

My most recent show was two nights ago. I'd hoped to catch Omar's Agamemnon, but this seems to be one of the performances I'm doomed never to see. I consoled myself with a second look at Fania's Clytemnestra (still my favourite), then saw bits of Brenda's Macaria and WenHsin's Eurydice. I got a nice hug off Brenda (she really goes for it) and I'd have happily done another entire loop with her, but she went in for the 1:1 and I know how difficult it is to pick up Macaria after that.

Anyway, I diverted to Ally's Luba. I've seen Luba a fair few times because it's tended to be performers I like (Fania, Steph) and it can be a bit less popular than other loops. And I'd been wanting to see Ally in a role properly for a little while. Like all the best PD performers she has tremendous presence (not hurt by the fact she's very tall) and I enjoyed her loop very much, even consenting to accept the 1:1 for a third time. (I say 'consenting' because I wasn't too bothered whether I got it or not, but since she offered and since I was the only one there who'd been following her the whole loop, I decided it would be ungracious to refuse.)

Ally led me down to the Troy finale (I didn't even realise performers led people there, I've always been in situ long before it starts), but I went on my own to the Mycenae finale. As I watched I felt a pair of hands grasping my elbows from behind.

There's something about what I would call the "Punchdrunk Touch". You feel contact, sometimes taken by surprise, but the touch is both firm and reassuring. You couldn't mistake it for an audience member touching you. It feels like the performer is taking control of you, but in an entirely non-threatening way. I wonder how they achieve that effect - is it taught, or is it something innate in people who go on to work with PD?

Anyway, I was gently turned round to find WenHsin was my silent accompanist. Perhaps it was a consolation prize for her passing me up for the 1:1 earlier; or just good luck on my part, who knows? Of all the performers who have led me out at the end she was the loveliest, all smiles and delight, seeming genuinely delighted that I'd spent this short amount of time with her, wishing me a good evening as if she really meant it (I wouldn't be surprised if she did). I hope I can catch her Persephone one day.

I'm never sure how much the performers are still in character in the walkout. Andrea was quite intense, almost but not quite threatening. Theo was silent and maybe a little sad. Steph (definitely in character) was mysterious. Stefanie gave me a warm hug. Ryan, with a broad smile, just said thank you as if I'd offered to mow his lawn or something.

To summarise, as I become more familiar with the show it becomes like a jumper or pair of shoes that have been properly 'broken in'. I know which things interest me, which things bore me. I still know what I have left to see. I've had almost all the 1:1s I care about, pretty much all the interactions. I'll probably be going about once a month from here on (the loss of Miranda - albeit for the happiest of reasons - has dampened my enthusiasm slightly, I'll not lie). Basically I've 'settled in'. I've reached the point where I don't expect too much, I just want to get further immersed in the story and admire my favourite performers, old or new.

(Footnote: in spite of the email sent by PD before every performance, it seems that most audience members are no longer wearing Covid masks. Even a lot of the staff seem to have dropped them. I'm wondering if the 'rule' will soon be withdrawn?)

[tryst-art-archive]

Context: 2012, pt. 2

About That FWB...

I have to own right up front that I'm not 100% sure when one of the important events in this part of my story happened exactly. It might've happened in 2012 or in 2013, but I do know I have the order of operations right here.

I mentioned before that my FWB and I genuinely cared about each other, but the way in which we did that differed: I was harboring romantic feelings that he didn't share. I mentioned also that we were both fully aware of this disconnect, but we made a mutual, tacit decision to ignore that in favor of remaining together--which is something I know because we talked about it later, at length, when the arrangement came to an end.

What I didn't mention before is what that tacit decision functionally meant:

It meant I got my way, on the surface, at least.

After we hooked up in 2011, we had a conversation about what should happen next. In this conversation, I proposed that we see each other on a recurring basis but that we not put a name to the thing. We'd make up our own rules, I said, instead of trying to jam something we both wanted to do into a societally mandated box.

On the surface, it wasn't a horrible argument, but FWB had this uncanny ability to read my thoughts right off my face, and so he knew that my suggestion had ulterior motives. I was setting a trap that left me room to ask him to act like a boyfriend while we both pretended that we weren't actually dating. Despite seeing this, he agreed to the idea anyway.

For the entirety of our seeing each other, FWB and I were indistinguishable from a romantic partnership in all respects save how we referred to each other and the relationship itself. It was a monogamous arrangement, and he acted the part of a boyfriend perfectly--in some ways better than any actual boyfriend of mine had. He did this, I know from a later conversation, to make me happy, but it was very much a mistake, as was my setting the trap in the first place.

I was in bliss, to be honest. I felt a great and overflowing love for him, and I wanted us to remain together in perpetuity. Deer was my bestie, but FWB was my best friend, too, and it was amazing to feel loved and understood by so many people.

The feeling understood was critical. His ability to read my thoughts off my face was annoying at times--he was reading microexpressions, he said--but that he could understand me deeply and accurately without my having to explain myself was so much more valuable. It was something I'd longed for in a partner all along because I, as a rule, struggled to fully articulate my own feelings. this sometimes manifested as a lump in my throat that I literally couldn't speak around no matter how much I tried.

In addition, our sexual compatibility was a bit absurd. We were completely on the same page, and so I functionally had everything I could want except the title of "girlfriend" or "partner." I was, in effect, living a dream. Quite literally so, given that only one of us was actually in love.

[richie-shitlips]

actually i'm going to make (not trying to be aggressive) counter-arguments because i feel very strongly and this isn't all correct information (sorry if i am offending you. i just care too much and can't let things go or let myself be wrong). friendly debate ig ? my evidence is i Am actually marvin so i know (fictionkin)

the friends thing i actually get cause when i get a narc crash i will sometimes get angy enough i say like "i have no friends everyone hates me i am my own best friend"

you can recover from NPD, which i dont know a lot about because i haven't talked to my therapist about it much, but i know it's not always a forever thing (everyone's different)

we never see evidence of marvin trying to like jason's interests. he got jason into chess probably so they'd SHARE an interest so marvin didn't have to pretend to be interested in stuff. marvin takes jason to art museums, but we never hear jason say he likes going- he'd rather explore, but marvin makes him stand and look at the art. through the whole baseball game, marvin still makes it about himself and what he wants ("i hate baseball..." and spending the whole time ignoring the game in favor of whizzer).

father to son is fully plausible- marvin realized he made a mistake when jason was unresponsive towards him, and knowing jason was probably the only one left who *could* love him, he talked to him (what i would do). not saying that father to son isn't genuine, i think it is, but marvin likely does have an ulterior motive.

i'm sorry if your mom insists she's better at stuff than you to feel better about herself, that sounds rough /gen. don't have arguments for that one, but like you said, everyone's experiences are different

people with NPD can and do care about people, can be proud of people, and love people unconditionally! for that stuff though, i'd look more at marvin's relationships with trina and whizzer though. marvin's love for trina wasn't really there in the first place, but even so he had expectations of her and got angry when she didn't meet them. same with whizzer- forcing him into the role of a housewife

i also see him with BPD, which is part of my analysis too (which i also have). this post explains my reasons for him having both really well

i'm sorry if this is rude and you can 100% tell me to back the fuck off if you want i will listen idk my brain just won't let me let go of these thoughts until i post this

reading genius lyrics of In Trousers is interesting cause Marvin will do something totally normal for a 14-year-old, maybe a little elevated cause no one is around to correct the behavior, and the notes will read that he's an immature, egotistical, narcissist.

then the same songs will have him attempt suicide or have neglectful parents, and someone will leave something deep with a, well, this is in the dark at the end.

Look, I haven't gone through every lyric in the trilogy cause Genius is an annoying site, but I don't think Marvin ever reaches narcissism.

he's unpleasant and causes a lot of harm but he's not a narcissist.

The Marvin trilogy is him growing and learning acceptance. I think each play ends with him accepting a different part of himself but I haven't gone through March of The Falsettos and Falsettoland apart from Falsettos, but Falsettos is set up like that.

In Trousers has him trying to like girls. Falsettos starts with him not being able to hide he's gay anymore, and he doesn't fit into the way he was told life was supposed to be, but he tries to get everyone else to cause that's how he was told to be happy. Then, at the end of Act 1, he's miserable and alone while everyone else is better without him.

he's immature cause that gets people to give him the attention he never got organically, he's egotistical as an act cause he's actually deeply insecure, but the people he trusts taught him everything he knows so he's convinced he has to be right, he's controlling because he's so convinced if everyone will live the way society deems normal they would actually be happy. but I don't think he's a narcissist.

I think he has the potential to become a narcissist as he is insecure and trying to fill something they've been slighted on but I don't think he ever reaches there.

Then again, this is based on the one narcissist I know, and people are different.

[takuyakistall]

to yuu.

Note: I wanted to write short HCs for each character as they wrote the letter when I finished reading everyone's thank you messages (◕ᴗ◕✿) ! All of them are very cute and I couldn't help but get some midnight rot so I had to write it down. Here's the link to the post where every message is listed down. Before you start reading, just a heads up, most of these are written in a romantic light. I also recommend reading the letters themselves first before heading here.

Characters: All students + Grim (Excluding Ortho)

Riddle Rosehearts

"Dear friend," Riddle thought that it was the most appropriate way to address you—or at least, that's what his brain is trying to make him think. Ever since overblotting and you helping him snap out of his frenzy, he had difficulty in labeling what exactly you were to him.

Before everything, you were supposed to be just a mere acquaintance to him and yet here you were sending him gifts out of the blue. The general "rule" towards receiving gifts was to give the giver your thanks. Albeit the better option was to thank you personally, he thought that maybe a letter would be better so that he can sort out his thoughts.

Friend. He nodded, proceeding to write down the rest of his message until he realized that this was an opportunity to invite you to tea with him under the pretense of paying you back for the gift. He furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he continued writing.

Surely, you would accept his invitation, right?

Trey Clover

"Hey you," was that too casual? Too rude sounding? Trey shook his head as he stared at the two words. He hadn't been expecting a gift from you and frankly, he was more than a bit surprised. Though perhaps he hadn't read the "gift" part when he suddenly started writing down questions about what you liked.

He immediately started thinking of how he should pay you back—gifts? He doesn't know your taste that well. Favours? Hmm, he's not too sure about that one. That's why he decided to ask, if there was something you wanted—he'll do his best to find it for you. A tempting offer, right?

It seems like you have to tell him that this wasn't a trade.

Cater Diamond

"Helloooooo," he started off. The extra amount of Os he used was proof that he's trying to take this occurrence casually. Though in the inside he was absolutely beaming. Gifts never fail to put a smile on his face, especially if it came from someone you didn't expect to give you a gift or someone special to him.

In this case, it was probably the latter. He took a small break as he stared at your gift, wondering what he should write. A small smile took over his face as he picked up his phone and snapped a few selfies of him with your gift with a caption before hitting the post button.

"Received a gift from a dear friend, isn't it amazing? ♪"

Deuce Spade

"Friend," Deuce rarely got to experience receiving gifts from friends to one another judging how his past years were spent as a delinquent. To say that he was happy to receive one from you was an understatement, he was over the moon.

He felt the need to mention it to you with a huge grin on his face. He thought of various ways to give you something back as he let out a small hum, he felt like he was having a field day. He signed the message and told himself that today was going to be a great day.

Ace Trappola

"Hey you," Ace was terribly suspicious of the fact that you sent him a gift out of the blue. Were you trying to buy him silence over something you did? Were you trying to convince him to do your homework for you? A lot of questions springed up inside his mind but not once did he think that it was just a genuine, sweet gift with no ulterior motives hidden beneath.

He knew that you would get mad at him if he continued to suspect you so he said that he was kidding in all caps with three dots after that—which didn't help his situation at all.

He felt awkward trying to convey his feelings like this and he ruffled his own hair as he told you that he just needed to tell you something later, when you're face-to-face. That would make it easier for him to speak.

Leona Kingscholar

"Good day," Leona uncharacteristically typed. He felt like he was being held at gunpoint by his past etiquette teachers as he tried to think of an appropriate response. If it were up to him, he would've just slapped a "thank you" on a piece of paper and asked Ruggie to give it to you.

Though he thought that perhaps it was better for him to actually put in effort for once. Even if it seemed like his so called effort seemed like something he just stole from the internet—that was more than enough, right? He'll just put his signature at the bottom and ask Ruggie to give it to you.

Ruggie Bucchi

"Hey you," a big grin took over his face as he wrote down his first few words. He wasn't as experienced as other people when it came to writing down messages of gratitude, he once tried consulting Leona about it—asking how to make it sound decent only to be met with an answer that went like: "Just put whatever."

And that's what he did! Truly, he's thankful for receiving a gift. For a split second, he wondered if he should share it with the people back in his homeland. Though he pushed that thought to the back of his head as he signed the bottom of the paper with his signature. He'll figure that out once he gives the letter to you.

Jack Howl

"Friend," he doesn't know what to say it's embarassing. Even in letters, he still manages to retain that straightforward yet somewhat roundabout personality of his. A tinge of embarrassment seeping through the letter.

He wished he could've just talked to you in person instead but alas, he was stuck here trying to rack his brain for words. In the end, he felt like it was best to keep it simple—the slightly demanding tone at the end was the result of him getting flustered at the thought that it's possible that it could be a date between the two of you.

Azul Ashengrotto

"My dear friend," Azul couldn't count the number of times he had crumpled a piece of paper and threw it into the trashcan only to get a new one—rinse and repeat. Jade and Floyd had to stifle their laughter when they saw how distressed he was over a single message. Though, perhaps that was the fruit of his unconventional feelings towards the giver.

He didn't want to sound too stiff and professional to the point that he sounded like a robot but also, he didn't want to sound too casual to the point that you might find it weird. He had to let out a small sigh as he ruffled his hair, another piece of paper thrown into the trash can before deciding that he should just play it safe and give you a free drink.

Jade Leech

"To my dearest," oh no. His hand slipped and accidentally made his greeting more intimate than it should be, he could go back and change it but—fufu, where's the fun in all of that? His lips tugged up into a smirk as he continued writing, knowing full well that what he was implying would evoke an interesting reaction out of you. But, if that wasn't enough to stir you up a bit then why not put a little more something? He was a prick this way.

He spotted an empty space on one of his shelves in the corner of his eye, glancing at it for a few seconds before an idea popped into his head. A smile that barely showed off his sharp canines, hidden beneath his gloved hand.

"Truly. Would I lie to you?"

Floyd Leech

"Little shrimpy," he grinned. Floyd was in an especially good mood today after receiving such a thoughtful gift from you. He played with his pen in hand, spinning it around as a distant look took over his face when he tried thinking about the reason why you gave him a gift out of nowhere.

Knowing that Floyd pays a little more attention to you than others, he was bound to be curious and he was more than eager to find out—there's always a reason behind someone's actions, after all. He tried expressing his intent to get the answer out of you which came out a little threatening but if you saw the look on his face there's no mistaking that it was an even bigger threat than you initially thought.

Kalim Al-Asim

"Hey love," Kalim was as straightforward as ever. Not a single filter as he wrote down his raw feelings. There was no reason for him to hesitate especially now that he was practically about to shake from pure joy—he was incredibly close to signing the letter and hopping into his magic carpet to give it to you personally but Jamil was there beside him to stop him if he ever does that.

Though that didn't mean that it was gonna stop him from wanting to ask you out on a magic carpet date with him, he'll just have to explain to Jamil when you accept his invitation. That is assuming you'll accept, right?

Jamil Viper

"Dear friend," Kalim practically forced him to write a letter back to you. Jamil wasn't an ingrate, he knew when to show gratitude when it was appropriate but he preferred thanking you in person. He had to settle for this in the meantime, he thought that maybe he'll just invite you to Scarabia to talk about what he could give in return.

He hadn't really expected a gift from you, especially with all the trouble he might've caused you due to his overblot. Though he didn't think it was all that bad. In fact, he felt a little relieved that you didn't hold any grudge against him.

Vil Schoenheit

"My dear," Vil had an unmistakable smirk placed upon his lips. The choice of words he wrote managed to give out a slightly smug vibe as he stared at your gift on his desk. Impressed by your ability for finding him a suitable gift, he decided to give you a little bit in return.

His smirk slowly turned into a gentle smile as he imagined your face probably tearing up at the thought of him giving you a signed card, he couldn't help but put an offhanded comment near the end. But it was quickly followed up with a single bit of rare praise from him.

Rook Hunt

"Hey love," Rook was always one to act dramatically whenever he had the chance and even in letters, he managed to sound dramatic. As soon as he realized that you had sent him a gift he started gushing about how wonderful it was and how inspiration was raining down on him like tiny droplets.

What's a better way to let his raw emotions out than poetry? That's right, this man wrote you a poem expressing how he feels because of your gift. He almost forgot to say his gratitude because he got carried away but thankfully, Epel pointed it out to him before he could give it to you.

Epel Felmier

"Dear friend," he rarely got any gifts from anyone outside his relatives so when he saw you give him a gift, he was excited to say the least. There's always a certain joy you can evoke in a person when you give them a gift it was almost euphoric for some. He thought that it was sweet of you to give him a gift and decided to give one back with a small message.

Friend. For some reason, it felt a bit off addressing you as that but he quickly shook his head and shot down that thought. As for his gift, he prepared a little something he made himself. Hehe, he's quite proud of it too!

Idia Shroud

"@YOU" it was interesting how Idia didn't bother changing to formal speech when he decided to give you a thank you message for your gift. He's typing the same way he would to his friend, namely "Crimson Muscle", but perhaps that was because he didn't know of any other way to talk to you without sounding unnatural or weird.

People would normally not even think about giving him something and yet you gave him one. He couldn't help but smile a bit when he said how you were a bit of an oddball—he came up with various nicknames for you inside his head. Most of them being different words for the term "weirdo". Yet they always had a hint of affection whenever he would think of it.

Malleus Draconia

"Dearest," Malleus started off. It was rare that he received gifts from people outside his family or nobles back in the Valley since a lot of people found him intimidating—terrifying for some, even. He was glad that you felt comfortable enough around him to show simple gestures such as these. Upon receiving your gift, Lilia noticed how it came from you and urged Malleus to write his thank you message differently from how he usually writes it.

Did you perhaps know of the legends surrounding the Thorn Witch...? If so, then maybe he could sneak in a little joke. The gift of beauty and the gift of song—ah, nevermind. He pursed his lips slightly, he'll just handpick a gift for you himself. A small gargoyle statue, maybe. Or he could ask the other members of Diasomnia to help him.

Lilia Vanrouge

"My dear," his lips formed a small smirk. Lilia appreciated all surprises, big or small. Though, in particular, something about your surprise gift made him more excited about it than usual. Was that just his old age getting to him or was it something else? He couldn't be bothered to think about it that much.

As a form of gratitude, he weighed his options. It was either giving you a gift back or letting you ask a favour of him. He thought the latter would be more acceptable until an idea popped into his head as his eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. He knew you didn't know what it exactly meant but he gave you his signature nonetheless—he'll leave you to figure out.

Silver

"Hey you," Lilia taught Silver that it was common courtesy to show gratitude when someone gives him a gift. He tried thinking of countless ways to say thank you with his old man bugging him to ask you out on a date instead in the background. In the end, he paid Lilia no attention and instead went with the standard short message and giving a gift back.

He urged himself not to fall asleep as he typed out his message even though he already let out a yawn without him noticing. He glanced at the screen blankly, wondering if he forgot to add anything until he slowly felt himself snoozing off. Head resting on the keyboard and typing out whatnot. When Lilia arrived at the scene, he didn't bother waking him up and just sent the message as it is.

Silver was so embarassed the next day and refused to talk to Lilia temporarily.

Sebek Zigvolt

"Human," he didn't even try addressing you as anything else other than that even in letters. When he found a gift lying by his room, he was a tad suspicious but loosened up when he read the tag attached to it. As stated, it came from you and the gift was meant for Malleus—wait, what. Sebek scrunched up his face as his eyes scanned the words printed on it.

"To Sebek Zigvolt" This was a mistake, right? Sebek was a bit flushed but quickly shook it off by saying how it was probably a subterfuge or whatever that was. There was no way it was for actually for him, right? Surely, you must've sent this in hopes of hearing more about the great Malleus Draconia. Right?

That is... Wonderful!

Grim

"Dear underling," it was cute how he made an effort to write you a letter despite being in the same dorm wherein he could just talk to you directly. But perhaps he was so touched to the extent that he wanted to do this—did you give him tuna? He struggled thanking you properly and ended up boasting about how he was going to be the greatest sorcerer.

Even though he called you underling at first, he couldn't help but soften up a bit. That didn't sit right with him somehow, he didn't know why. He let out a groan as he racked his head for a more appropriate word until-!

Partner... Sounds about right.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

Hi! I wanted to add an answer to your 'straight folks afraid to ask questions' post but I'm not out on any of my blogs so please excuse the long ask!

So I'm not straight but I felt kind of the same way when I first started searching info on transness and trans people. I'm not from any English speaking country, and where I come from, we weren't teached about labels or anything. For exemple, I knew that I ''wasn't interested in dating anyone'' but only learn the term 'asexual' (in english) when I was 23ish. A lot of the internet places I visit are in english, with a majority of the audience being from the USA. So a lot of usa/english queer terms are used, that are not present / translatable in my language. It's a first 'barrier' when it comes to asking questions, because sometimes it's not you being an ass, it's just that it is genuinely something you don't have the notion for (or a notion you never encounter before). So. Transness. I had a trans friend when I was 14yo, but never would have think of him as 'trans'; he was a guy, just in a 'girl' body, full stop. When I started asking myself questions about what FTM, MTF, trans men, trans women, gender dysphoria, etc meant (really basic questions) I couldn't ask him, because we hadn't been in touch for a while and it would have felt weird AF to contact him back with 'ulterior motives' (aka ask about transness). So I turn to tumblr, twt, and the answer was always the same: trans people shouldn't have to be your teachers, go do your research yourself. I was honestly a bit scared by the harsh words some of those posts/tweets had, but you know, it was fair. It's always weird to have random people ask you intimate things like that. So I tried to do my own research, on google, on blogs, etc. And in short, most of it were snippets of answers with the same conclusion ''But you should ask a trans person, they're the one concerned after all.'' At that point I was just lost. I *had* to ask trans people questions to understand them better (logical), but also asking them was kind of rude and tiresome for them because they just want to live their life in peace (also logical). I stopped looking for answers for a long time, because didn't wanted to bother people. I guess at that point I also started to develop a tiny transphobic reflexion, because I was frustrated by people demanding I knew everything about how to talk to trans folks but also not wanting to answer a single question and being ready to get mad at any mistake someone could make. (Fortunately, that phase didn't last long!) Finally at some point, I can't remember how but I came across youtube videos of trans creators talking about their journey, their transition and answering a lot of questions about transness, something that I was absolutely unaware existed. I was really uneasy at first, because I felt like I wasn't their demographic and shouldn't watch it (the idea that, despite being just watching a yt video, someone could call me out IRL for objectifying them, or looking at trans folks as ''curiosities'' when all I wanted was more infos to better understand) but I ended up discovering really nice creators, who gave a lot of informations and also covered fun other topics. That's how I still feel sometimes when I wonder things about other sexualities a/o genders, this idea that I'm just a really annoying tourist pointing at locals and going ''what is that?'' rudely. I am still incredibly uneasy at queer events (but that may be because I feel like I'm not queer enough for it, and people will be mad at me). But I'm getting better!! I guess the tl:dr of it is that people should do their own research on topics they want to understand better, but also the internet is incredibly effective at making you feel like shit for asking any question whatsoever, and it's something that affects you in real life too... Also, almost 5 years since I started asking myself questions about trans people and turns out I might not be cis myself ahah :,) That was a really long ask, sorry about that! Hope you have a nice day!!!!

Thank you for sharing your experiences with this! And yeah, like I understand not everyone has the energy to educate people and that's absolutely not something required of them, but I wish more in the community weren't needlessly angry or aggressive in their refusals to answer questions. And if a community member wants to help but doesn't want to answer questions, directing the asker to another resource is always a good middle ground, because as you said, "just google it" doesn't always turn up the best info. (lgbtqia wiki is one place I like to direct people for basic information and terms.) I'm glad you found those youtubers, youtubers are some of the sources I've found most helpful in learning about other parts of the community, too! (For people looking for such creators— try searching within youtube with keywords like "my trans journey" or "my bisexual life"— stuff that is likely to turn up individual creators talking about their experiences)

Also, you're absolutely "queer enough" for queer events— the people who try to exclude you are the ones who shouldn't be there, because they're actively harming the community. And good luck with the gender haha, have fun and explore! Thank you for the ask and I hope you have a lovely day!