#i didn't forget about the poll i promise

[callilemon]

VNC IS COMING BACK BABY!!!!

ALSO, peep that LOGO!!! 😭 my wonderful friend made it for me as a suprise!!!! @trixipixify thank you!! (≧▽≦)

[dejwrld]

— number 7 on paradis titans hockey team can get a little mean after he loses a game.

( cw ) ⸻ modern au, sports au, profanity, mean dom!jean in 4k hd ultra, female anatomy, her/she pronouns, afab, established relationship (reader and jean are married with a child), reader implied to black, creampie, impact play, oral ( f.receiving), slight spit kink, spanking, breeding kink, pet name usage (good girl, babygirl) he's just a lil salty he lost a game, i promise i ain't showing favoritism to najma lmfao, this fic was second place for the poll i posted week ago, wc: 2.1k, minors dni ! repost from old account!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀dedicated jean baby mother aka @honeybleed

When Jean lost a game, you always seemed to walk on eggshells. The nicely decorated home grows silent as a mouse when your family enters the mansion. Your son seemed to fall asleep during the long ride from the ice rink to the house, and you only tucked him in his bed after stripping him out of his clothes. Neatly folding up the hockey jersey with his father's number on it and placing it away, you placed a loving kiss on top of his sandy brown colored curls before exiting the room. You were sure to close the door behind you since you weren't sure how Jean would react due to losing the game.

When Jean's team lost, he grew quiet. A little too quiet. His interviews with ESPN and other sports outlets weren't as cheerful and confident. You could literally see the frustration and sadness in his light brown hues. The rides home are always silent, other than the questions your five-year-old would ask randomly. As a new wag (an obnoxious term for wives & girlfriends of sports players), you always ask the other partners how exactly they handle huge losses.

Eren's wife, Emilia would only shrug, mumbling about how Eren usually forgets about the loss after a day or two before he's back on the ice, perfecting any screw-ups he made during the game. Connie's girlfriend CJ would make a subtle joke about giving him head after the game to make him forget about the disappointing end of the hockey team's season.

You walked towards the master bedroom of your home, your body leaning against the door frame as you watched Jean tug off the Grey Nike sweatshirt he wore. He tossed it in the laundry hamper in the corner of your room, now only in a white wifebeater. His toned arm flexed with each movement he made as he shuffled around the room. Occasionally, his gold necklace with your initials and your son's initials moved with each quick motion he made.

"Do you want to talk about it? I know it was such an important game," Your tone was soft-spoken and came out as if you were whispering.

"Strip." was the only thing Jean uttered as he was undoing the string on his Nike jogger pants.

Your lip gloss-covered lips parted to speak, but in the back of your mind, you were just thinking about making Jean happy. He was going through some wild emotions at the moment, and who were you to object against them. They lost the opportunity to compete for the Stanley Cup, so you knew the man in front of you was seeing complete red at the moment.

"Keep my jersey on, though. Everything else off." He huffed.

You stepped further inside the room, your back backing into the door to close it so you wouldn't wake up your son. Your fingers begin to unbutton the jeans you were wearing, slowly tugging them off your smooth legs. Soon, your panties joined them as Jean's index finger motioned for you to come here. With each step you took, you could feel the cool breeze in your room hit your bare bottom, sending a chill down your spine.

When you were face to face with Jean, he didn't say much. However, you could feel how hot he was. How frustrated he was. One harsh push on your king-sized bed caused your lips to let out a gasp. Your body hit the bed like a fragile little doll Jean wanted to play with. He's grabbing a hold of your ankle that was decorated with the gold anklet with his name on it with a cursive font. His lips placed soft kisses on your ankle, causing you to squirm under his firm touch. You expected him to treat you like a fragile rag doll that had just been snitched up. But boy, was you wrong. In one motion, he had turned your body around so that you were lying on your stomach, mumbling about how he needed you so badly.

"Be a pretty wife and get on all fours, m'kay," He said lowly.

You did what you were told, getting on all fours. The oversized jersey that formally belonged to Jean raised just a bit to be able to see the cup of your ass. A low yelp tumbled out your mouth when you felt Jean's large hands slap at the flesh of your ass before you could feel his hand massage the stinging flesh. A sharp hiss came out of you when you felt another slap on the opposite cheek; Jean once again repeated the process of massaging your ass cheeks. He's teasingly letting a coo tumble off his lips as you can only stutter out his name like a broken record.

"Just want to taste you real quick," His words were soft yet intimidating. He angled your body provocatively so you felt like such a filthy woman. "Just stay like that for me, please," he says before his callous fingertips are traced alongside your puffy lips. The teasing action caused your skin to be littered with goosebumps.

Once again, you desperately coughed up a yelp when you felt him slap at your throbbing cunt that was aching for his attention. The similar motion he did with your asscheek, Jean's multimillion-dollar massage at your pussy. This time, your wetness coated his fingers ever so negligibly. "You like it when I do that, huh?" He asked.

He didn't wait for you to respond before kneeling to taste you. The flat of his tongue collided with your puffy lips to lick up your juices formed just by his spankings. A weak whimper came out of you as you seemed to relax in his touch as he was eating you out. When Jean wanted to taste, he wanted to taste every fiber of you. Practically burying his face in the messiness between your thighs caused your toes to curl.

"Jean." You moaned out as you felt him glide his tongue up your slit. The lewd sound of him slurping up the mess he was making bounced off the bedroom walls. You could feel the sharpness of his nose poking you from the back; the man practically was devouring you at the moment. You were so close to breaking the perfect arch, but you knew what consequences were to come.

"Fuck." You moaned before you reached out, clawing at his sandy brown hair. Your fingers grabbed his hair as you rocked backward upon his kitten licks. Your orgasm was right there; you were so close to the finish line while your knees were growing hazy.

But Jean soon pulled away, letting your body fall limp like a deflated balloon that's lost all its air. Your poor cunt felt like it was pulsing, your orgasm was snatched away from you, and the lump of pleasurable despair disappeared.

"I can't have you cummin' just yet, baby girl," Jean commented. The little facial hair he had was stained with your juices. His upper lip lingered with your scent, and his tongue tasted like you. Maybe that made the man in a complete trance all over again.

His grey sweatpants grew tight at the crotch area. His dick was screaming to be released from the tight compress of his sweats and boxers. Jean quickly pushed down his sweats and stepped out of them like an over-enthusiastic virgin that was about to get a spliff of pussy for the first time. His blood was fuming, and he was still a bit frustrated by the loss. Especially considering the number of penalties he racked up during the game. His cock bulged in the black-colored Ethika boxers (another sponsorship he received for singing a multimillion-dollar contract) before he tugged them down also. His thick cock tapped at his toned torso when his boxers came down also.

Once again, he's grabbing onto you like a doll, dragging your whithering body toward the end of the bed. His hand firmly pushed your lower back to ensure your arch was perfect. It was a wonderful sight to see his beautiful wife completely exposed like this to him. A lovely ass up face-down position just so he can have his way with him.

You were anticipating for Jean to shove his cock inside you. Despite it being the same dick you've ridden, sucked, choked on, and the list goes on, you still found yourself chewing your lower lip off at adjusting to his girth. He was a grower for sure, with a slight curve that could kiss at that spot that caused your pedicures toes to curl. Your favorite part of his dick was his tip. It was a splendid sight when you would climb under the covers to suck him off when he complained about morning wood. It was a nice mushroom shape with a slit that gushed out so much cum when he wanted to.

"You know if you relax. You'll get used to it quicker." Jean suggested. With his slender digits climbing up the jersey, you had on to undo the bra you were wearing.

With quickness, you're removing your bra tossing it to the side with ease. Your hips bucking to receive any form of friction between Jean and yourself, but you could only feel his tip tap at your sopping entrance. "Don't be so fuckin' rude, and wait," Jean uttered as he grabbed a hold of his cock. He rubbed his tip at your entrance. Teasing you bit by bit before he's pooling all of the spit in his mouth and letting it drop down on his cock. His hand stroked his dick quickly before he once again was poking at your entrance.

"You want to make me feel better after that horrible game, right?" Jean questioned.

You only nodded as you were on all fours, your fingers grasping at the sheets below you before your mouth gasped apart, feeling him stretch you out. He didn't even wait until you adjusted to his huge size before he was pushing himself inside you like a madman. His hands grasping at your asscheeks just to feel upon you a little more. His thrusts weren't the usual slow and passionate filled; they were harsher. He was genuinely fucking you like he hated you. It was your fault that the team was two points short of going to the play for the Stanley Cup. You could only let out poor pathetic moans, moaning out for Jean.

"That's a good fuckin' girl; you're taking my dick so well," Jean uttered as his hips bucked forward into the plush of your ass. His eyes glowed excitedly at the sight of your pretty pussy, swallowing him with each thrust. The mixture of your wetness and the spit he coated on his coat was imprinted on your thighs like a nasty masterpiece.

He had one hand holding your back down while the other was grasping at the hockey jersey with his last name on it. He gripped the jersey severely to have some form of control over his brass thrusts. Ignoring your whimpers for him to slow down, or you would cum.

"Don't cum." Jean uttered out.

His words were more like a command, a dangerous warning you wanted to poke at until he exploded.

"Please Jean..." You whined into the pillow, which at this point was stained with your own drool and tears.

"What did I say, hm?" He questioned. His right hand slapped at your ass cheek causing you to let out a whine.

"Don't...cum," You hiccupped between moans.

Jean would only hum in agreement. His hips irrationally bottomed inside your dripping cunt before he pinned your arms behind your back. His tight grip on you caused you to chew at your lip as if it were some chew toy. "We'll cum together like it's supposed to fuckin' be," He commented.

You felt so lightheaded at the intense amount of stimulation upon your body. Your limbs felt like they were screaming for you to relax, and the burning sensation that was bubbling in the pit of your stomach was ready to burst.

Jean's hold he had on your folded arms only grew tight with each shove forward into your pussy. He could feel his balls grow heavy each time he tapped at that one spot that caused your eyes to cruise in the back of your head. Jean's eyes were shifted closed as he was so pussy drunk, the harsh groan that grumbled off the back of his neck caused his Adam's apple to move. His thick white cum filled you up to the brim as you moaned through the sensation. Jean brought the ends of his wifebeater up to his teeth, nibbling at the ends as he rocked you on his cock slowly. He could feel your pussy pulsing around his cock, milking him of every droplet of his cum. His brown hues practically glistened at the creamy sight of a white ring around his cock with each slow thrust.

When he pulled out slowly, letting the hold he had on you go and watching you collapse breathlessly on your stomach. His fingers combed through his hair, which seemed to stick to his forehead due to the intense workout.

"I feel much better now, baby, thank you."

[zee-143]

~𝙵𝚊𝚗!𝚂𝚔𝚣 𝚡 𝙸𝚍𝚘𝚕! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜~

♡A/N: This is what won the polls so this is what I'll write. Also ty to everyone who likes my content. I have other fics coming up so stay tuned and hope you enjoy this one❤❤ Skz aren't idols in this btw. Just you :) I did reread this but if u do find mistakes I apologize 😭

SKZ x Fem! Reader

♡Genre: Fluff

♡Warnings: Noneee

Chan

He first heard about your music through a friend.

He was instantly hooked

He practically loved every single song you wrote and released

Chan was definitely a committed fan too

He'd follow all your social media just to stay updated on everything you were doing

Nothing creepy. Only to stay informed of course

If you had a fan meeting? He would totally be there. Even if it meant dragging a friend along with

A concert? He will be there just to support you

Chan simply loves anything you do. Whether it be the way you eat or talk. Everything just seems so... Perfect

Now, as a fan, Chan knows he shouldn't get too attached but its been difficult to say the least

Ever since that one encounter with you, Chan couldn't help but get a little excited at the thought of you

It was your 5th fan meeting. You were happily greeting fans, receiving their gifts or compliments like a complete professional. Chan stood in line, excitedly tapping his feet. He held a paper bag(that was your favorite color) with loads of gifts in them.

The line moved quite slowly but Chan didn't mind. If it was to see you, he'd wait a century. The closer he moved though, the more excited and nervous he became.

Finally, it was his turn to meet you

You happily greet him and he greets back. You spark up a little conversation by complimenting his outfit. Chan compliments back, saying how he admired your outfit too.

Chan revealed all the presents he bought for you. You were extremely surprised by how many things they were. Your staff can along, taking the gifts and placing them with the others

"You didn't have to buy all that stuff you know" You laughed. Your smile caused a light pink to spread across Chan's face. "I don't mind. You really inspire me and make me very joyful. It's the least I can do" Chan grins confidently. You nod, signing the poster and album he brought along

"Well, thank you so much. It's really amazing that I get to make fans like you so happy. It makes me happy. Don't stop smiling for me, alright? " He never forget those words. He never forgot his promise to her. He smiled, whenever a smile needed to be present.

Chan sometimes wonders if you remember him. It is unlikely. You do have millions of fans everywhere all around the world. Meeting you was enough for him though. It was just enough.

Minho

He was just scrolling through YouTube one day when he came across on of your music videos. With 93 million views?

He felt that was a little much but who knows maybe it wasn't bad.

Minho was wrong though. It wasn't just bad. Your music was 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. He felt like he just found a drug and you were the dealer.

He tried not admitting how much he actually liked your music but failed

The posters on the walls aren't there for nothing obviously

He loved your dance style. It was so clean yet fun. He'd spend hours in his room just watching performance videos and trying to master your dances

Minho was intrigued by your stage presence more than anything. You captivated the crowd with just one look. You definitely had a way with face expressions and emotions

His room was filled with different types of merchandise. From posters to photo cards to albums to hoodies and even more

With all the merch though, it was hard to keep his little obsession a secret. And not because he was embarrassed. He just didn't want people getting all nosy with this one little interest. It was his and his alone.

One moment he won't forget was that one live he watched

Minho wasn't particularly feeling well that day but luckily you were on the rescue. You decided to go live and just ramble about whatever has been happening. Nothing special, which Minho didn't mind. He just loved your voice.

Minho was slightly bored. He deciding on commenting something. It's not like he was hoping for you to see it. He typed out something sweet but simple: 𝘐𝘮 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶��� 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳. He read through the comment before sending it through

You, on the other hand, we're reading through the comments until one caused you to raise your eyebrows and smile. "I'm feeling really bad today but your voice makes everything a little brighter" You read.

Minho practically panicked, noticing you read his comment. That was 𝙝𝙞𝙨 comment. He slapped his cheek just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. And sure enough he wasn't.

"I'm sorry that you're feeling bad but it'll get better. Life sucks but don't let that stop you. I'm glad I'm helping just a bit. To which ever fan who commented that and everyone else, I love you so much and don't ever forget that" You raised a thumbs up before staring back down at your phone, looking for more comments to read

Minho felt his heart skip a beat. Skip multiple beats in fact. Though the last few words weren't only directed towards him it felt that way. And that's all that matters.

Changbin

Changbin had always been a fan of you. Ever since debut he was rooting for you to succeed

And boy did you do just that

You had millions of fans from all over the globe now and he felt proud of you for that. He loved that you got where you wanted to be.

He enjoyed more of your older songs as that's what he's used to but the newer songs are amazing too.

What really stood out to him about you though was your laugh. You had such a pretty and contagious laugh. Every video he watches, he just hopes you'll laugh. It makes him smile.

He also relates to you food wise. Changbin is someone who loves food and for you to love food as much as he does. Well, that's nice to hear

It was funny how stupidly similar you both were but who knows.. Maybe he's just being delusional

He sometimes thinks about what it would be like to befriend you. He was positive that it wouldn't be a boring experience that's for sure.

He basically stalks your Instagram account and other social media too.

If you post something, he's most likely already seen it or read it. Everything you post is something different, so he always makes sure to stay updated

He also noticed how you both practically have the same sense of humor. Any joke you say seems to crack him up more than anything else

Changbin was watching a recent vlog you recorded and couldn't help but notice a funny detail. After the video he hopped onto Twitter and shared his observation

'𝘏𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 (𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦) 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 2 𝘵𝘰 3 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴. 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥'

A few hours, Changbin returned to Twitter noticing the attention his post got. Many were agreeing and others were just pointing out other details. But one comment left him shocked

He couldn't believe it. He even clicked on the profile and did everything. And surely enough, that comment was from you

'𝘓𝘰𝘭𝘭, 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 ��𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 😭"

You liked his little joke. YOU ACTUALLY LIKED IT. He tried not to scream as he was in a restaurant with a bunch of friends. He must have been dreaming, or dead maybe.

Either way, he was glad you got to laugh at his silly comment. Who knows. Maybe they'll be more silly comments you'll see and laugh at even more

Hyunjin

Hyunjin loves you. And when I say love, I mean he 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨 you.

He listens to your music every single day. Maybe while painting or doodling, he played one his favorite songs

I mean, all your songs were his favorite song, but he had a few that he held close to his heart.

When with friends, he always has an urge to bring you up in literally anything conversation

"Did you see (name) at Paris Fashion Week "

"Did you know (name) can do that too"

"Woah, that reminds me of (name). She's a great idol and her music is fantastic! "

Just a few examples of his undying love to you

Hyunjin really believes that you both are soul mates. Now, that is quite delusional but it makes sense! (To him anyway)

You once described, in an interview, what your type is and he ticked all the boxes. But maybe that's just his ego talking. Just a hopeless romantic in love

He celebrated your birthday like it was his own.

His gallery was filled with more pictures of you than his own family

It was all very concerning but Hyunjin didn't care. He was happy. He was happy knowing you.

Hyunjin did do other things too. He occasionally posted his art which gained lots of attraction. It was good after all. At some point, you mentioned how you didn't know what cover to use for your upcoming album.

Hyunjin took it upon himself to make a fan made album cover. It was soo good, people actually thought it was official. You soon saw the cover and was so impressed. You needed to use it. It was perfect

Hyunjin woke up to something unexpected the next day. Other than the thousands of notifications, he got a DM. From you. He almost dropped his phone from pure surprise

'𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦!! 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵!! 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵, 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵? '

'𝘠𝘶𝘱, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. 𝘐𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯 😖"

"𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭!! 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬. 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 :)"

"𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘳!!"

And with that, Hyunjin's artwork was the official album cover

He was over the roof. Seeing his art piece on the YOUR official album with YOUR songs. Okay, saying he was over the roof is an understatement

You later had an interview about the album and basically praised Hyunjin for his work for around 2 minutes. He watched that interview more than he could count. Needless to say, he didn't want to forget this moment.

Jisung

Jisung wasn't an artist but he liked music. Music was like a child to him. To some extent anyway

It did make sense though

His father was the owner of a huge kpop company. The company you were under in fact

Jisung wasn't interested in your music at first. Until, he followed his father in the recording studio you were working in. It was just a check up on your latest song. After one listen, he couldn't get the song out of his head.

He did some research about you and realized you were quite a popular idol in the community. That's where his fan obsession began

He liked watching all your interviews. Your personality was something he couldn't get over. You were always so nice and thoughtful towards anyone around. He was very intrigued by everything.

Though you were in the same company his father owned, you both never interacted. Mainly because he avoided you as much as possible. Embarrassment was not an option.

As a fan, Jisung listened to your music. He had a special playlist just for your songs and songs you liked.Songs he thought 𝙮𝙤𝙪 would like too.

He basically carried a photocard of you everywhere. Jisung believes it brings him good luck. Which was a cute gesture but it did sound a bit silly

He didn't care at all. Even if it was silly, it kept him at ease. He liked it that way

You had to write a song for a special performance. It was to be the company's 50th birthday but you had no ideas. That's when Jisung came in

"I heard you were having trouble with song writing. I brought my son to help you. He is quite the song writer" Your boss smiled. You eyed Jisung curiously. This was all to sudden but time was running out. You allowed it.

Jisung on the other hand was a nervous wreck. He couldn't even focus without getting scared. You noticed this and decided to give him some space.

When you returned, the song was finished. You excitedly examined the lyrics. You were impressed to say the least. The lyrics naturally connected to you, as if they were your own

"Oh my- this is perfect Jisung. You really are a great song writer"

"Really? It's not dumb or anything...? "

"Not at all. It's so professional and well done. Good job"

You gave the male a quick but thoughtful hug. He hugged back. You were his favorite idol and he couldn't believe he got to be this close to you. It was a dream come true.

The song did extremely well. At the show, Jisung got a whole shoutout with his face on the big screen. He was embarrassed but glad. Glad he could help you out.

Felix

Felix found you through Tiktok. How? Well your MAMA performance was trending and it was practically every where. It was impossible for anyone not to see at least one edit.

Felix did watch MAMA and he knew about you. He has known for a while. But wasn't a fan. He just knew you were a popular idol. What he didn't know though, was how obsessed he would become.

Like Minho, Felix was mesmerized by how you dance. He imagined you were the best dancer he had ever watched. Felix would often practice your dances, simply for fun

Everything was for fun

Did he read the fan fictions? Well... No but yes. He did read them but only sometimes. And he only read the cute stuff. He was delusional at the thought of you. Just a cute fanboy

Felix absolutely loved your smile. He often called you a sunshine or something like that. He believes you bring sunlight and everything bright. Anyone could go blind even looking at you or that's what he thought.

Your voice. He was one of the fans who could listen to your voice for ages on end.

He was passionate about you. Talking about you just came naturally or even accidentally though he did feel embarrassed after rambling. He didn't want to seem annoying in front of his friends. It was hard to control.

Felix watched all the edits he could find. Any edit. Any meme. Any video. He would watch it. He enjoyed all the content fans made of you.

Like most, Felix had merchandise. All neatly organized and placed in his room. He didn't like misplacing any of it. Not because it was expensive. He just didn't need to loose anything. It was all important to him

Felix opened Tiktok one day. You posted a challenge. A challenge for a song that he was in love with. There wasn't one day he didn't think of this song. It didn't have any choreography ... Until now

So a challenge? He had to try it out!

After a few hours of practice and life regret, Felix memorized the dance. He joined on the challenge posting his version on Tiktok.

Felix knew the video was going to blow up but he didn't expect it to get him a deal with you

Now, the male was patiently sitting in your studio. A few staff members with him. You hurriedly entered the studio.

"Hello! So glad you could make it Felix"

"Uhm... It wasn't a problem but... Why am I here? "

"I need a dance partner. I saw your video giving a go at my challenge. You're perfect"

Felix tilts his head. He was curious about why she chose him but decided to learn that later on. Hey, he was given a deal to dance with someone he admired. Why not take it.

He worked really hard to learn all the dance steps and everything. With you of course. You were extremely helpful. Your smile had to be the best part of everything though. It was as bright as he thought.

The concert day has to have been the best though. The performance went really well. Felix became quite popular with your fans. Everyone was so supportive rather than jealous. It was the best day of his life. That day never left his mind. It definitely was something he'd never forget.

Seungmin

Seungmin isn't your biggest fan.

He does like your music. Your personality. Etc. He is definitely not a BIG fan of you

You were just an idol he was fond of

Seungmin had few amounts of merchandise. Again, he's just fond of you

Seungmin was captivated by your singing voice. That's what he first noticed. Nothing healed his heart more than your singing.

It was a melody he simply wouldn't get over. Seungmin, personally, sang himself. He actually was a trainee under your company too.

He'd often bump into you but it wasn't a huge deal. He saw you as any other idol in the company. Just a human with a big platform

You both often had a brief and quick interaction before moving on. Getting on with your own lives.

He was more normal about you than the others, obviously

The thing that changed though, was how much of a fan he was towards you

The company gave him a challenge to learn then sing a cover from the list that was provided

Alright, seems easy. He chose the hardest song. One of yours. Did he want to show off? Yes. Was it because he wanted to impress you? To an extent, definitely

The highnotes in the song are what he was ready for. He practiced. And practiced. And practiced some more.

Seungmin, like his other trainee peers, we're given the same challenge. One by one, they all perform their covers in front of the judges. The judges were honest. Really honest from what he heard. A girl ran back crying. Seungmins breath quickened and he lightly tapped his foot on the ground

He was anxious

His turn arrived. He stared at the judges, noticing you were there. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 up, he thought. The greetings and introductions ended. Now it was time for Seungmin to impress everyone (cough cough you)

The song reached its end. The room was quiet. The judges glanced at each other, with stunned expressions.

They all gave their feedback. The feedback was honest but decent. Your opinion was something that stuck with him forever though

"Well, that was my song and I haven't heard anyone sing it better than me. I'm actually so impressed Seungmin. I'm jealous. You have an angelic voice which I need on one of my songs. "

Everyone agreed and nod their heads

"When you debut, I'd love you to feature on some of my future music"

Seungmin left the company that day in a cheery mood. He couldn't believe one day you'd want to work on a song with him. Oh he was definitely going to learn as many of your songs as possible now.

Jeongin

Jeongin is definitely someone who keeps his love for you a personal thing

Only close friends knew about it

He liked it that way

Your fashion sense is something he is obsessed with. Jeongin is someone who takes time when it comes to dressing up. As soon as you mentioned, in an interview, that most of your stage outfits or general outfits are what you pick yourself. He could definitely relate

You dress like someone who cares about what you look like. Just like him.

You are an ambassador for a fashion brand after all. His seen plenty of ads in the mall or on the internet of you. He liked pointing them out in front of his friends

Jeongin thought you were sweet. Sweet like honey

He had no specific reason on why he wanted to know so much about you. Maybe it was his personal connection with you.

Or maybe he just wanted something to be attached to

Either way he was a big fan. Jeongin was simple about this whole thing. He felt happy when watching your content

He definitely was over protective about you though. He knows he shouldn't. It just sucks when someone comments a negative opinion. Of course, criticizing an idol is necessary for improvement. Though some take it too far. That's what pisses him off

Other than that, Jeongin is relaxed. Most of the time, especially in winter, he wears the same exact beanie. When asked about it, he doesn't really know how to answer but it is quite a story.

He attended a concert of yours. He was close to the stage which was just perfect. Of course, he brought friends with him. Friends that are fans as all.

Jeongin practically sang his heart out to every song. One of your more intense songs with a lot of energetic dances played. While dancing your beanie accidentally flew into the crowd. Luckily, Jeongin caught it.

The performance ended. You joked about the beanie flying off and asking if anyone caught it. Jeongins friends screamed in his direction bringing all the attention towards him.

A bright red paints on his face. The concert venue was dim. You hopefully couldn't see it. You laughed lightly noticing the shock in his face

"You know what. You can keep it"

Jeongin frantically shook his head insisting on you taking it back.

"Really, take it. You spent a whole ton of money just to see me sing and dance. It's the least I could do for such a cute fan"

Jeongin felt like passing out. One of his friends roughly shook him while the crowd screamed

He smiled at the thought, anytime he saw the piece of clothing. It was a wonderful experience. An experience he had to relive again.

◦•●◉✿♡✿◉●•◦

A/N: This has to have been the longest ass thing I've written so far. But I hope you enjoyed this little thing. Thanks soooo much for reading ♡♡

[iridescentprose]

stuck in neutral - noah diaz x fem!reader insert

summary; you're reek's sister and you can't help but fall for noah diaz.

warnings; none, just fluff!

author's note; i may or may not write a part II to this. anyways, thanks for voting in my poll! expect another one soon!

"So...you wanna tell me how this happened?"

Noah shifted uncomfortably, biting back a wince as you applied the antiseptic to a cut on his forehead. He had scrapes and bruises from only God knows what, and you were determined to get to the bottom of it.

"I fell," he tried, a sheepish smile spreading across his mouth. It vanished almost instantly as he hissed in pain. You refused to give him an apologetic smile for not giving him a warning, as you applied another dab of alcohol to a bruise on his chin.

"You're a terrible liar, Diaz," You said, rolling your eyes playfully before tossing the used cotton swabs into the trash. . You grabbed some gauze and began to wrap it gently around his bicep. "And you wonder why I refuse to ever be your girlfriend."

Lifting a brow, Noah chuckled. "I'm not lying --"

"Were you out stealing again?" You took extra measures to ensure the gauze was firmly around his superficial wound. Eyes remaining on the task, you pursed your lips.

"I ain't no thief. Not like that," Noah said, his voice wavering a bit. His gaze remained fixed on your face, but you refused to look at him. Sensing this, he used his free hand to tilt your chin upwards towards him, your fingers loosening on the bandage as you reluctantly looked into his eyes. "Besides...the only thing I'm stealing are kisses from you when your brother's not around."

Freckles littered his face like stars in the night sky as he smiled at you. It was moments like these when Noah Diaz had you hook, line, and sinker. It was moments like these that made you forget why your proximity was too complicated to explain with words. The details of your relationship were an explanation shoved under the couch, only to be dealt with later.

Just as he leaned forward to steal a kiss from your lips, you gently turned your head, his lips meeting your cheek instead. He groaned in playful disappointment.

"Speaking of Reek," you said, ignoring the bloom of heat that began to manifest where his lips were, "did he have anything to do with this...fall of yours?" You finished off the gauze and cinched it tightly so it wouldn't loosen.

"I mean, he was there...sort of," he said with a shrug and a slight roll of his eyes as if thinking about the event that transpired. "But it was all me," he said, guilt seeping into his features again.

"All you?"

"All me," he confirmed, before standing from the sink. He gently took your hand causing you to turn and face him. Instinctively, you took a step towards him, your faces inches apart again. "But, it's nothing for you to worry about, I promise."

Although you weren't fully convinced of his promise, you let him kiss you.

One of these days being stuck in neutral with Noah Diaz was going to be the death of you. You were apprehensive of driving off with him into the sunset, leaving your friendship in the dust to pursue something more serious. But Noah was persistent.

But just like Noah, you had your brother to think about. You didn't want to possibly ruin their friendship, or make things more awkward than they already were. Despite how understanding Reek could be, you just didn't want to risk it.

"I hope you're right," You whispered, as he pulled back and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Because if I'm going to be your girl, we can't have any secrets between us."

Noah brightened, a slow smirk rising to his lips. "I knew I'd wear you down eventually," he joked.

"I'm not saying I'm your girlfriend!" You said, quickly, the heat returning to your cheeks as he began to laugh. "I said if --"

Too distracted by the proximity of you accepting his numerous past proposals of you being his girlfriend, he placed another kiss on your lips. Your protests were a thought in the past as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

[vickyvicarious]

Dracula Declarations of Love

There is so much love, and so much talk of love, in this book. It's extremely hard to pick a favorite, but let's give it a go (or just get emotional over a bunch of quotes lined up together).

I tried to stick mostly to declarations/talk about (rather than acts of) love, primarily to focus on specific quotes and help me narrow it down to just twelve (still a big challenge). Before anyone asks, no, "I too can love" is not on here because Dracula's version of love doesn't stack up to the others for me in terms of emotional impact. And these were definitely chosen by my personal preference of specific quotes; there are a bunch of other great words of love that didn't make it in. Also, important note - this is not exclusively romantic love by any means.

The whole quotes don't fit in the poll, so please read below before you vote.

Full Quotes:

11 May, Lucy: "Oh, Mina, couldn't you guess? I love him. I am blushing as I write, for although I think he loves me, he has not told me so in words. But oh, Mina, I love him; I love him; I love him!"

24 May, Quincey: "If that other fellow doesn't know his happiness, well, he'd better look for it soon, or he'll have to deal with me. Little girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that's rarer than a lover; it's more unselfish anyhow."

19 August, Mina: "I have cried over the good Sister's letter till I can feel it wet against my bosom, where it lies. It is of Jonathan, and must be next my heart, for he is in my heart. [...] I must write no more; I must keep it to say to Jonathan, my husband. The letter that he has seen and touched must comfort me till we meet."

24 August, Jonathan and Mina: "Then he took my hand in his, and oh, Lucy, it was the first time he took his wife's hand, and said that it was the dearest thing in all the wide world, and that he would go through all the past again to win it, if need be. [...] Well, my dear, what could I say? I could only tell him that I was the happiest woman in all the wide world, and that I had nothing to give him except myself, my life, and my trust, and that with these went my love and duty for all the days of my life."

24 August, Mina: "Lucy dear, do you know why I tell you all this? It is not only because it is all sweet to me, but because you have been, and are, very dear to me. It was my privilege to be your friend and guide when you came from the schoolroom to prepare for the world of life. I want you to see now, and with the eyes of a very happy wife, whither duty has led me; so that in your own married life you too may be all happy as I am. My dear, please Almighty God, your life may be all it promises: a long day of sunshine, with no harsh wind, no forgetting duty, no distrust. I must not wish you no pain, for that can never be; but I do hope you will be always as happy as I am now."

7 September, Arthur: '"What can I do?" asked Arthur hoarsely. "Tell me, and I shall do it. My life is hers, and I would give the last drop of blood in my body for her."'

17 September, Mina: "Jonathan asks me to send his 'respectful duty,' but I do not think that is good enough from the junior partner of the important firm Hawkins & Harker; and so, as you love me, and he loves me, and I love you with all the moods and tenses of the verb, I send you simply his 'love' instead."

30 September, Mina and Arthur: '"I loved dear Lucy, and I know what she was to you, and what you were to her. She and I were like sisters; and now she is gone, will you not let me be like a sister to you in your trouble? I know what sorrows you have had, though I cannot measure the depth of them. If sympathy and pity can help in your affliction, won't you let me be of some little service—for Lucy's sake?" [...] "I know now how I suffered," he said, as he dried his eyes, "but I do not know even yet—and none other can ever know—how much your sweet sympathy has been to me to-day. I shall know better in time; and believe me that, though I am not ungrateful now, my gratitude will grow with my understanding. You will let me be like a brother, will you not, for all our lives—for dear Lucy's sake?"'

3 October, Jonathan: '"Nonsense, Mina. It is a shame to me to hear such a word [unclean]. I would not hear it of you; and I shall not hear it from you. May God judge me by my deserts, and punish me with more bitter suffering than even this hour, if by any act or will of mine anything ever come between us!" He put out his arms and folded her to his breast; and for a while she lay there sobbing."

3 October, Jonathan: "To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks."

11 October, Mina: "You are nearest and dearest and all the world to me; our souls are knit into one, for all life and all time."

31 October, Mina: "We are truly in the hands of God. He alone knows what may be, and I pray Him, with all the strength of my sad and humble soul, that He will watch over my beloved husband; that whatever may happen, Jonathan may know that I loved him and honoured him more than I can say, and that my latest and truest thought will be always for him."

[0deadevil0]

oh my god i don't know why it took me so long to think about what to write-

But ANYWAYS the poll won was the marquis' child so i shall do as promised!

Have fun!

pov: you are a child (6-10) and the child of the marquis and you hear a piano in the night

"Father why do people do drugs even when it hurts them?"

"Because it helps escape for some time"

". . .people prefer long term solutions for short term problems?. . .ok"

No one heard the truth no one ever does

------

You wake up in your bedroom a rather unnecessary big room for one child you always thought but never paid it any mind

You sat there for a few minutes wondering what woke you up you looked around there was you and dad's portrait and your wardrobe beside it a night stand beside your bed on top of it a light stand you pulled the little string attached to it causing the light to be turned on making it work as a light source beside the moon

Just as you were about to go to sleep you heard the sound of a piano downstairs

'Weird. . .father doesn't know how to play, is he taking piano lessons?'you thought that it couldn't be without you atleast noticing once and even if he did why would he play so late in the night? You didn't think much of it 'but i kinda want to see him play. . .' you didn't spend much time with your father because he is always 'busy' so you thought maybe he wouldn't mind your company now since he doesn't sound busy

Why didn't you just stay put?

You took your little bunny and stepped out of the room the music a little clearer and as you went down the stairs in your pjs you actually wonder what time is it? Does it matter to know? Oh well you are already out of bed might as well see your father

you finally made it to the bottom of the stairs and infront of the huge doors of the piano room the music is amazingly enchanting 'how long has he been training to sound so good? Not recently did he start atleast'

You knocked on the door

No answer

.

..

...

....

.....

Should you enter?

But he didn't allow you to. . .last time you entered without permission he slapped you hard it still hurts as it wasn't that long since it happened

You knock again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

No answer but the music is still in there

You hesitantly opened the door

you wish you didn't

A splatter of red invaded your vision

"Huh?. . ." you were confused as you whipped the liquid from your eyes confused at what it was

Oh. . .it's blood it's definitely blood

"What?. . "you look infront of you and see your father. . .with a knife in his neck but it seems he is the one who killed himself

"Oh wow who would have guessed we'd have a child joing our pity party?" A black haired guy with grey eyes said "sheesh kid didn't your parents tell you not to roam around at night?" A guy with glasses said

You didn't register what they said when your father was sprawled dead on the floor and his blood on your face

You father. Dead

"Father. . .?" You say as you wobble towards him and hold his face but he didn't look back at you slowly you started to cry not understanding who are those why are they here and what would they want and especially why did your 'willingly' commit suicide

"Ha? That stockup had a kid? Wonder what kinda masochist of a woman would want em" a guy with white hair with black tips said and tsked and the tall guy beside him looked sadly at the child

"Well seems like we need to do something about this. William should i give them to an orphanage or something?" A guy with green eyes and a mole beside his eye said to the red eyed man called 'William'

"Hmm" William looked at the child with a unreadable smile the child who seemed to forget that they are surrounded by multiple men too focused on their father's dead corpse "why of course not we shall bring them to the grim reaper and see from there"

Everyone looked at you again

All eyes are on you which doesn't help with your tears

A pink haired guy tried approaching you

Your head snapped to his direction so fast he thought you git a whiplash

You looked scared and you sure deserved to feel scared "hi there!" He waved with a smile in any situation you would have waved back but you were too scared to move a muscle, he tried to approach you again only for you to snap back to reality and make a run to the door and outside of the mansion bunny in hand

You kept on running

and running

and running

...

--------

i made this one small just to see if you guys like the idea if you do i will make more they'll definitely be longer but if you don't then i will think of writing something else

[tripleahyperfixator]

Sobbing I love them so much

LOOK AT THEM 😭😭 I'm waiting for the poll results to finish one of them, but I'll get the one with cora on the ground done soon lmao

(also a little concerned at the volume of y'all who wanna give law a knife😭💀,, but oh well)

((also I didn't forget about the Mario x one piece thing I doodled I promise 😭🙏))

[lfghughes]

This Ain't Over Yet

a/n: i realized that the poll I wrote didn't accurately explain how I wanted to do it. But this is a Jack fic that just has sebastian in it. im sorry to my seb girlies i promise if you want stuff for him i can do it.

warning: cursing, talks of cheating

A part of you dreaded this second round of playoffs, not that you would really explain that to Sebastian. Your history was…complicated to say the least. Before you started dating Sebastian you had a small fling with Jack but he had ultimately ended things. His reasoning was he just couldn’t find the time to balance you and hockey but you were sure that was code for he had found another person who interested him more or he simply just wasn’t into you anymore and used his schedule as an excuse.

Somehow, someway you had ended up talking to Sebastian Aho on instagram one day and one thing led to another. He knew about your past fling there were enough photos that it wasn’t something you could hide even if you wanted to but what happened with Jack was long over and it didn’t affect your relationship. But now you would get to see your ex for a good chunk of these games and that would be…fun.

“Good luck, fishy.” You told your boyfriend, giving him a quick kiss before he headed out to his game. If there was one thing you loved about game day it was the suits and Sebastian always looked good in his. You really couldn’t complain when it came to him, he was a great boyfriend and he was everything you had always pictured a fairytale romance would have.

Once you were at the game most of that dread had washed away because you were focused on one person and one person only. That was until suddenly in front of your eyes Jack and Sebastian got into a fight. Your ex wasn’t even much of a fighter but yet here he was on top of your current boyfriend. Finally the refs pulled him off of Sebastian but as Jack was getting skated away he made eye contact with you, giving you a small wave.

All you could think in that moment was what the fuck is going on. This was an away game but you and Sebastian had decided why not have you come with him because then you two could do some touristy things in New York on his off day. With that being said, even though this was an away game you were familiar with the prudential center. You found your way to where you knew Jack would be after the game and as soon as you saw him the anger bubbled inside you.

“What the fuck, Jack? What was that?” You asked him and he just looked at you and shrugged. “It was nothing.” That answer only infuriated you more because it wasn’t nothing. “Why are you throwing punches at my boyfriend?”

“He doesn’t deserve you, you know that right?” And there it was, this was some weird jealousy thing that boys did. “Did you forget the part that you ended things with me?” Maybe he was forgetting that very essential part of the story. “I made a mistake but you just went off and started dating someone else right away.”

“You don’t get to turn this around on me.” As you spoke his hand went to your cheek, cupping it gently and you immediately jumped back from the touch from him. “Jack, don’t. I can’t do that to him.” You told him as you took another step back from him because right now you didn’t trust being alone with him. “You know you’re bored with him, you just won’t admit it but don’t worry. I’ll be here when you finally do.”

[bratbby333]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ blog update ! ] ࿐ྂ

+ some housekeeping and info on new writing

hello my loves !! i wanted to give y'all some insight on what's been going on in my mind palace lately. there's a lot...so...cmon, take a walk w me...and maybe bring some snacks.

ੈ♡˳ first and foremost ! my work has received a lot more attention recently and i am so excited. with actual tears in my eyes, im happy to report that i surpassed 1,000 followers the other day. i am at a loss for words...just...stuck in a perma-state of disbelief.

im sending out the biggest thank you to everyone who has supported me, who's interacted with my work, to the lovely friends ive made though this account and to the heartbreakingly beautiful anime that brought me here in the first place. i am genuinely in awe...overwhelmed, even...i didn't expect any of this to happen when i started this blog and i am forever indebted to all of you for getting me here. im actively fighting off the inevitable surge of imposter syndrome as i type this out...i just love y'all so fucking much. this community means the world to me and i wanna scream at the top of my lungs in order to demonstrate my deepest appreciation for each and every one of y'all.

ੈ♡˳ secondly ! a message for my little angel babies, my day one followers; thank you for taking a chance on me. for watching me grow. for sticking around as i worked to get better at writing. im sure a lot of you started following me for my gamer!bf sukuna series...trust me, i love him and i know y'all do too. but i feel like my writing is heading in a different direction...and with a heavy heart, i'm absolutely gutted when i say that i am taking a pause on that series. i am forever grateful for the support and may return to him soon, though i cannot promise that. i owe so much of what my account is now to that series and i will never forget that.

for everyone who joined me as i delved into dark/dead dove content, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me a safe space to explore different forms of story-telling. my choso fic was the first stepping stone and then i skipped every other stone on the path and jumped head first into the deep end with my dead dove gojo fic...i deeply appreciate all the positive feedback i received on both of those. after posting them, i realized that i am very into writing dark content. i know that taboo themes/dark content/dead dove subject matter isn't for everyone and i understand people's apprehension in regards to it. but with that being said, i will be moving forward with publishing darker content.

ੈ♡˳ so here's the writing update !

i did a poll asking y'all what kind of content you enjoy. a good chunk of people said long form fics (which is great, cause i do too !! mommy needs plot). so, i am migrating away from one shot writing. both because i've been thinking about it for awhile and because y'all are into longer stories, as well. but fear not, i will still write shorter stuff along with headcannons, drabbles, etc...it just won't be the main focus of my blog anymore.

ੈ♡˳ now, time for the big reveal ! perhaps it's a bit anticlimactic, but bear with me...

im so excited to announce that i have two new series coming ! it will be a dark, modern!au featuring choso (with a few other special guests) and a dead dove sukuna series.

i'm almost finished with the outlines, and have fully completed the theme layout + mood boards for both works. i hope to get the first few chapters wrapped up in the next couple weeks. if you want to be tagged in either of these (or both), just leave a comment or send me a message !

(also !! i may or may not be cooking up a dark medieval au series in collaboration with another writer on here...so be on the lookout for that hehe)

while i take breaks from writing my two series, i'll be working through my requests ! so if you've sent one in, i promise i will get to it, unless i literally cannot think of a good way to write it (im only human, im so sorry). also, im sure we already knew this, but im a slowww writer. i wish i could churn content out quick as fuck but i am too hypercritical of myself…it's both a blessing and a curse, honestly.

if you made it all the way to the end of this nightmare of a brain dump, i love you. if you've been with me for a while, i love you. if you're just now joining me, i love you. everyone who’s supported me in any way, shape, or form, i love you.

i present you with the sloppiest kiss with tongue (only if you want it, of course. i can also give you the tightest hug, the gentlest head pat, or my social security number...access to all my bank accounts? a mansion in the hills? my passport? hand in marriage? my first born child? literally whatever you want, babe).

okay !! i think that's all for the updates. feeling: very ambitious and motivated but also overwhelmed and mildly stressed but overall super excited for what's to come. im looking forward to this new adventure and i hope y'all come along with me ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

thank you again…for literally everything. yall hold a special place in my heart and always will. so, here we go !

see you on the other side, my loves.

— jade 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

[battle-of-alberta]

i didnt forget about that 1930s poll ages ago i didn't i promise [sob]

unfortunately my current research is mostly either in 1990 or 1910 and not much in between but here's some fashionable doodles i guess?

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Favorite Kiss Tag Game

Tagged by @yannig, thank you! 😘

Rules: create a poll with five of your all time favorite onscreen kisses, setting any standard for qualification you choose. Then tag more friends to join in!

This is both a delightful game and a very difficult one. Dead fish kisses are largely a thing of the past, and our screens are filled with lovely smooches these days.

For me, my favorite kisses are not only about being aesthetically pleasing or emotionally powerful, but also about conveying something meaningful, either about the characters or the story. Something that words would never be able to express in the same way.

Yok and Dan (Not Me) - "Words alone are not enough"

I've made no secret that Yok has my heart forever, and I love how this kiss is confirmation of their mutual feelings, and a promise, while also being a reminder that with Yok, you are going to get spice with your sweet. It's character moments like this that set up the way he will forgive Dan for his betrayal but also give him a solid punch to the face. (And let's face it, there was definitely a bit of punishment later on at home, along with the loving).

Mizuki & Yoh (My Personal Weatherman) - "Without you...I can't breathe"

Japan has such a knack for conveying things without words. It's not uncommon for characters in Japanese BLs to be incapable of verbally expressing their wants and needs for large amounts of a story, but that doesn't mean we don't learn huge amounts of vital information. This series conveys so much via intimate moments, but this kiss in particular is when we fully see what an unreliable narrator Yoh has been, and how deeply he misunderstands the depth of Mizuki's love and need for him.

Phayu & Rain (Love in the Air) - "I must reward this cunning boy"

LITA is chockablock full of good kisses, but I really like this one. The beginning of this episode does a lot around setting up the D/s dynamics of their relationship, and the kiss is a part of that. Rain gets punished for making Phayu worry, and Phayu indulges his slight sadistic streak by pretending he's about to peace out - but then the kiss that follows almost feels like a benediction for their new relationship. Phayu finally lets his absolute adoration for Rain come out, revels in the experience of being intimate with his person, and Rain matches him beat for beat, showing why they work as a pair.

Pluem & Kevin (Ghost Host Ghost House) - "I can wait for it"

The lead up to this kiss is one of my favorite moments in all of BL, where Kevin is 100% aware of the effect he is having on Pluem, and Pluem is attempting to be god's strongest soldier - and utterly failing. But again, what makes it so good is what it tells us about the characters. Kevin is teasing Pluem, Pluem starts to tease him back, in the traditional seme way, and when that makes Kevin nervous, Pluem makes it clear that he is not an old school boy. He's soft and sweet and absolutely willing to put Kevin's comfort first, which is, of course, why Kevin immediately responds. Who could resist?

Li Cheng & Mu Ren (History 4: Close to You) - "I didn't forget..."

Li Cheng and Mu Ren have yet to be dethroned as my favorite friends to lovers couple. The show does such a good job setting up their deep love and devotion to each other on the friend side, that when it finally gets to a point where their romantic feelings are mutual, you need something special to show that a switch has finally been flipped. The tone of this scene, with a little help of the blinding light of love, proves that we have crossed a threshold, and it is absolutely lovely on the other side.

I'm not sure where all this has made the rounds yet, but no pressure tags for @slayerkitty @sunshinexiaobao (your name change threw me for a moment lol) @infinitelyprecious @lilithfatale @dramalets and anyone else who wants to play!

[j0kers-light]

What about joker being gone for some time but instead of going off with someone else how about Y/n ruining her apartment and crying so J’s goons report something about it and he comes home as quick as possible and sees Y/n in a panic basically Separation anxiety Y/N

His Lighthouse: Two Weeks (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Two Weeks - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

Hey hi anon!! 🖤✨

Guess which entry won the poll I ran a while back? The people wanted more separation anxiety!reader so Chaos shall deliver! We cannot forget that Joker has Y/n's apartment rigged with hidden cameras so I changed a little of the request to fit in that important detail. After that, there wasn't much to go (i.e. the ending angst, fluff) so I improvised! Teehee. Anyhoo! I hope you enjoy anon!

Edit: This request teetered on the edge of being canon to His Lighthouse as I worked on this draft so in the end; I decided I will list this as canon on the oneshot masterlist because some elements are possible. I hinted it enough in earlier works so eh 🤷🏾‍♀️

Edit two: Why was it so flipping hard to title this!??!??! I was kinda inspired by Lykke Li so yeah.... I couldn't resist the lyrics fit SO WELL!! Plus I might change the cover pic too its not giving what its supposed to gave but its almost 1am as I final edit/post

Taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! 🖤✨

Two weeks, three days, one hour and nine minutes and counting. That's how long Joker had been gone and with each ticking moment, you spiraled more and more out of control.

You tried to not let it get to you. Joker promised he would be back– he always came back... but it was taking him far too long.

GCN broadcasted every single shenanigan that Joker caused in Gotham City while he was gone. J was a busy man so at first, you cut him some slack. Joker could evade the cops and Bats with no issue so why wasn't he back yet? You could understand him laying low for a day or two; however, this long was a cause for concern.

Did Joker not love you anymore? Was there someone else– someone better looking that caught his eye? You wouldn't be surprised if so.

Joker was quite the catch underneath this ghastly makeup and dark aura and you weren't necessarily an ideal trophy girlfriend with your thick curves and darker complexion. Joker made it his mission to stop you from putting yourself down (which was quite often) but the mirror didn't lie. If you went by looks, you didn't belong with Joker yet he swore up and down that you were perfect for him.

He kissed your insecurities away but they always resurfaced during his absence.

As the days turned into weeks, the doubts you tucked away was your only company and they were louder than ever.

What if you pushed Joker away?

You were clingy and carried so much baggage. The last thing Joker needed in a partner was a traumatized, insecure, anxiety fueled crybaby. He said he didn't mind; those faults made you unique. He was never a good liar.

J helped you battle your trauma and the anxiety that you developed from it, but he hated when you cried. And you did so often. You couldn't be more grateful that Joker was patient and kind (at least to you) however there was only so much a guy could handle before he got fed up.

What if you pushed Joker past that breaking point? He wouldn't give you a warning either; Joker was the kind of guy that would just up and leave and Lord knows you were tired of people in your life leaving.

You've been hurt too many times than you could count.

Most people would have learnt from their shortcomings and become bitter– you did the exact opposite.

You were still naive and kept your heart open for anyone to come along and break. You still clung to the fairytale of a charming man who would sweep in and break the cycle of bad relationships in your life and love you unconditionally. Yet reality always smacked you in the face when each person left you with a broken heart.

In the end, they all left but not Joker.

He had so many opportunities to leave but he accepted your flaws and fed into your fairytale. Maybe Joker was the one! Maybe he would latch on and never leave..

For a time, you believed that he wouldn't– until now.

You sat up every night hoping that Joker would barge back into your apartment with an apology spewing from his scarred lips. You believed in the saying, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and you daydreamed about the sex that would ensue upon his return.

You jumped every time you thought you heard keys in the door– but alas, your mind was playing tricks on you. Your reunion was delayed more and more until you had to face reality.

Joker never came back.

There was no warning, no signs to the end— just complete and utter silence. You weren't quite sure when your mind accepted defeat, but one minute you were 'fine' and the next, you simply snapped.

Things were rather quiet in the main hideout's control room to the point of the shift being complete and utter boredom.

It wasn't worth the trouble of watching the various viewpoints scattered around Gotham City, however, the series of monitors dubbed, Grant Row, were. Today they were ominously black and yearning for attention.

There was a rumor about these monitors being super top secret with only Joker and his top three allowed access— but it was just that. A rumor. No one dared to poke around further after gossip of the last two goons who did circled around the hideout.

Joker killed them both for snooping on the Grant Row camera feed and apparently, he made someone watch it all unfold.

Never look at the GR feed. It was a word to the wise to whomever was assigned control room duty and today Will was that unlucky fellow.

He was fairly new within the organization and knew to keep his mouth shut to not provoke Joker's ire. So far, his actions paid off and he rose ranks to be trusted well enough with control room duty.

All Will had to do was watch the feed for any possible sabotage, any cop and/or rivalry activity in the assigned sector, and call it in if need be. It was a simple gig, that is, if anyone warned him about the other monitors becoming an issue.

They were powered off for the most part and Will didn't spare them a glance until a robotic message chimed throughout the room, startling him senseless.

"High motion detected. Action advised."

He didn't even know the gang had advanced security systems like this! Other than the verbal alert, it unfortunately didn't specify which sector or exact camera it was referring to. It left Will scrambling to manually filter through the feeds but nothing that matched the system's call out came up.

Trying to find the source of the alert was a real head scratcher but no further callouts were heard, so Will quickly forgot about it. If it wasn't caught in the control room someone out doing physical patrols would find it.

Things were calm once again until fifteen minutes later, another alert came through the room's speakers.

"Warning. High motion detected. Action required."

This time a black box titled, 'GR Hall', popped up on the main system's screen and failed to minimize no matter what input was entered.

Will wasn't sure what it meant and neither Neo or Mac briefed him on this type of alert before deeming him fit for duty. He was beyond confused why the box wouldn't go away and it only got worse the more frantic keyboards strikes he made.

In an instant, all the other monitors faded to black and the mysterious feed took top priority. Its message flashed periodically with a command box, awaiting a passcode. Will was gonna make one up when it suddenly disappeared with a new verbal message, sending a chill of dread down his spine.

"Warning. High motion detected. Threat level: Severe. Sending Admin alert."

Will watched in horror as every monitor in the room proceeded to shut down. Only one screen remained on with a yellow triangle blinking ominously. All it had was a text box that read, "Admin login required."

Somehow Will failed the easiest job in the gang. He was a dead man.

Joker was sitting in on a meeting with a few of his men when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He didn't pay it any mind since his focus was squarely on getting to the bottom of this turf war mess. Two weeks in and it was still keeping him from coming back home to you.

J wanted to track this wannabe gang leader down and flay him like a fish for wasting time better spent with you.

There wasn't a day that went by that Joker didn't think about you. His sweet Light with her bright smile and problematic separation anxiety. You were a ticking time bomb and Joker didn't want to stick around and wait for you to blow. He never been away this long and he didn't know how far your limitations could be tested– if it hadn't already snapped.

It was already two weeks going on three without contact with you.

He could only imagine the state of your nails as you bit them in distress. Another perfectly good set ruined, he surmised. Joker couldn't return home until this situation was resolved and his urgency to get the issue handled was felt throughout the gang. Joker was going through withdrawals without his Light around and he was barely keeping it under wraps.

Only his top three could tell the noticeable signs, but they were there. Joker was slipping. He didn't want to imagine how you were fairing in all of this.

This next mission would hopefully nip the turf war in the bud; at least that was what Joker was hoping for. As the days went by, he was craving you more and more and he knew the feeling was mutual.

If all else failed, he would just blow their dumb gang sky high and come running back to you. Anything it took to get to you faster, he'd do it, but you taught J to be more patient.

The meeting was halfway in when Joker received another message, only this time it made all conversation in the room cease with a verbal callout.

"Warning. High motion detected. Action required."

Since when did their main security system have a voice feature? There was a curious atmosphere in the meeting room. Everyone knew well to hold their breath as Joker checked his phone.

It was a minor distraction and although Joker kept his face devoid of emotions, his eyes gave him away. Something was wrong.

Right as he was entering a passcode to access your live security feed, another message rang out.

"Warning. High motion detected. Threat level: Severe. Sanctuary door open."

Joker swore the Earth stopped spinning after he heard that. The facts were simple.

You never left your bedroom door open. Ever. It was your sanctuary for a reason, to keep people out, (him included) so the fact that the last motion detected in your apartment left your safe haven's door open– instantly sounded off red alerts in Joker's mind.

At that moment, he had only one priority. Screw the turf war. Screw Batman foiling his plans along the way. His Light was in danger. Frost locked eyes with his Boss and in seconds, they were on the move.

The plan was to enter your apartment with a soft approach.

Quiet but with extreme caution just in case there were any hostiles still in the area and they would only engage with deadly force if it were deemed a threat towards you.

Joker did not want you to witness any death in your home so he and Frost would go in stealth mode. Joker chose to lead since he knew your apartment like the back of his hand and would not require any lights to clear the area. Frost would follow behind.

It was a great plan, one that quickly dissolved when they assessed the situation more closely.

Coming off the elevator, everything appeared calm– the front door was still locked and nothing was disturbed.

There were no signs of forced entry but as soon as Joker stepped inside, the state of your home proved otherwise. Your once pristine high rise was in shambles. It seemed like a fight occurred in the living room for the colorful furniture, your beloved bookshelves, and a few of your potted plants were overturned. It was a mess no matter where you looked.

It would explain the high motion alerts that were detected so many times but seeing the damage of your home in person was shocking.

You took great pride in a clean environment and that was presumably from a minor case of OCD, (an effect of your PTSD) that made it impossible for any dust or decorative trinket to be awry in your penthouse.

You simply couldn't stand a dirty environment.

Joker stepped over a broken floor lamp that pointed to the trail of destruction. It proceeded into the kitchen with shattered glass on the floor, overturned bar stools, and broken kitchen equipment– towards the grand hall.

Frost was checking the pantry area for hostiles when he spotted blood on the floor.

He signaled to Joker, who panicked at the amount, but followed the crimson drops down the hall. More signs of a struggle were found in the hallway, like decorative tables being knocked over and your precious art pieces barely hanging on the wall. Joker was already thinking the worst the further he ventured.

Whoever did this was filled with rage and extremely dangerous. He might have to use deadly force after all.

The grand hall was long with multiple rooms to check so Joker and Frost split up to cover more ground.

But before they could do so, they both heard something crash on the floor in the near silent apartment. Joker followed the sound straight to your open bedroom door. They both hesitated in front of it.

Only darkness lay ahead, uncharted territory for any man.

Under normal circumstances, they would never dare to enter but what if you were in danger inside?

There was a trail of blood that led to your door. That couldn't be ignored. There was no time to question the consequences, all Joker could do was act.

He ordered Frost to check the rest of the penthouse as he barged into your private sanctuary, but he skidded to a halt at the sight before him.

Joker had never stepped foot in here, however this was far what he expected.

There was no light therein save for the decorative constellation lights found on the high ceiling and their ethereal glow shined down on the black void that was your bedroom.

Joker eyed the colossal bed, with its black sheets to the equally dark furniture, and the door that led to what he suspected was another outdoor balcony. Thankfully that door was closed and an overturned chair blocked it.

To the far left of the room, an alcove was carved as an entryway to your closet and from there Joker could see something being violently thrown out.

He hoped it was by the person invading your home yet he was surprised to hear your voice in a state of distress.

Anything you could get your hands on was immediately broken. You sounded like a toddler having a temper tantrum and Joker wouldn't have reacted if your exerted pants didn't turn into hysterical sobs.

He wasn't concerned until you screamed and threw a stiletto heel into a mirror and picked up a large chunk of the broken glass.

His heart sank at your evident intentions. That finally had him jumping into action.

You slipped into a panic attack when Joker tackled you onto the floor and began wrestling the shard of glass out of your hand. You kicked and screamed but he managed to subdue you enough to talk some sense into you.

"Bunny! Hey! Stop that!" He held you still when you tried biting him to get away.

J was mindful not to squeeze you too hard since he could see cuts on your hands and arms, mostly likely from breaking everything in your frantic state. It would also account for the droplets of blood that led him to you.

He was unsure what was the catalyst but he knew the bomb of your separation anxiety had gone off.

Joker had experienced minor cases of it from time to time. You would beg him to stay home for the night or, (if possible) for him to take you with him on lax meetings at the hideout. You couldn't stand extended periods of time without Joker around and this was the reason why.

Joker didn't expect you to go off the rails like this. You were beside yourself with grief.

Were you responsible for the destruction of your apartment? Your bloody hands and feet were a definitive: yes.

Joker didn't want to imagine how you must've felt these past weeks alone. You had the mindset that he abandoned you and he had no one to blame but himself.

He caused this.

He jumped in shock when you broke free of his restrictive hold and launched yourself into his arms.

"Don't leave me! You can't leave.. I don't want–" You suddenly looked up and saw Joker for the first time. He watched you glance around the room and quickly back towards him.

Your brain was processing that someone was in your sanctuary and that's when he knew he screwed up.

"You're in my.... why are you.."

"I know Bunny, I know but I was worried about ya! I got security alerts and I saw blood... Don'T scare me like that!" Joker embraced you tighter.

You hesitated but clung to him, mostly acting on autopilot. The words he heard you utter next made him tense up and fear the worst.

"You're... you're not real. J-Joker left. He left me. They always leave. Why do they always leave? What did I do? What did I do to make them leave?!"

You began hyperventilating until Joker talked you out of it.

"Stop that! I would never leave ya doll. I'm here, I'm right here." You shook your head and tried to squirm away until Joker stopped you by shaking you gently. "Y/n, my Light.. Look. At. Me!"

He grabbed your hands so you could trace his scars with your fingers. Slowly but surely the rough texture of his scars underneath familiar white face paint helped you find clarity. You stopped crying and blinked away your tears to see Joker's pleading eyes staring down at you.

"I'm right here, Y/n." Joker cracked a smile. "Is my pretty girl with me?"

You broke out into another sob but this time Joker didn't mind. You managed to say yes. You were with him. He pushed your head into his chest and began rocking you back and forth in his arms– right there on the floor.

"I won't leave ya doll, I promise. You poor thing.. I'm here now shhh. Stop cryin, seriously, Bunny. I'm. RighT. Hereeeee."

You heeded his advice (or was it demands?) and cried yourself to sleep in Joker's arms. He sighed in relief before lifting you up and out of your closet.

This dark room of yours was foreign to him and it felt like he was intruding on some kind of holy ground so Joker left and entered his own room straight down the hall.

Inside Frost was seated on the leather couch.

He eyed Joker carrying you in and he raised an eyebrow at the delicate nature his boss used to tuck you into bed. You fussed a bit when J pulled away but you were quickly pacified with him nudging your giant stuffed bunny rabbit into your arms.

It was a temporary fix but it would buy Joker enough time to debrief Frost and secure your apartment before you freaked out again.

In the end, you needed Joker to feel safe.

"You're gettin' soft Boss." Frost mentioned.

Joker's glare didn't hold any of its normal hostility– he was too busy devoting all of his attention on you. Plus Frost was an old friend. Joker knew he meant well by the statement. Once you were in a deep sleep, Joker turned to speak to his right hand man.

"She.. did this, because I was gone for too long. That can'T happen again. She can't go through this again. Handle the uhh, 'turf war' without me. I'm needed here."

It went without saying that Joker was handing over control to his second in command.

Frost could run things without Joker so it wouldn't be an issue. The brute was actually worried about you so he didn't mind being in charge indefinitely until you were better. Not like he'd let anyone know that.

Frost stood up with a sigh, "I'll get with Mac to replace all the s__t she broke. Consider the rest handled, Boss."

Nothing else was said between the two and after a minute or two, Joker heard your front door slam close announcing Frost's departure.

And with it came the privacy to be as soft as you needed him to be.

Joker didn't waste any time shedding his suit and rushing to the bathroom to remove his clown makeup. He wanted to be bare of his identity when he held you in arms.

You didn't need The Joker but rather J, the man you undoubtedly came to love and he craved the warmth and infinite love only his Light could provide.

Joker stated you couldn't go this long apart but in reality, it was him who couldn't survive another second without you in his life. Tonight was just the tip of the iceberg in what could happen should you and Joker ever part.

It wouldn't happen again and Joker would do everything in his power to prevent it.

[moonlightblueandicegrey]

Unforgettable past part 1

Summary: Jay destroying himself more and more after skybound

!!! WARNINGS !!!

Uhm... We have lots of things here. We have mentions of emotional and physical abuse, self harm, sexual harassment, panic attacks, traumatic moments, self hate thoughts, thoughts of suicide, anger, bad language and curse words, smoking, heavy drinking, mentions of one night stands and abusive sex. I think that's all but tell me if i forgot anything.

You have been warned so don't read this if you are uncomfortable with those things. Now the responsibility is yours.

Writer: So, i wanted to write this thing from winter... It's summer here... I don't even know why it took me so long. Anyway, it's finally ready now. It's the dark fic i was talking about in this poll for anyone who doesn't remember or for people who didn't know about it.

Also it's the story i was referring to in this recent post:

**After Skybound**

As we all know, after Jay's last wish, Nadakhan returned to Tyrahn's tea pot and everything went back to normal. Ninjago citizens forgot everything and they just continued living normally, like nothing ever happened. No one remembered a thing, except Nya and Jay.

Nya had nightmares every night but she decided to ask for help for once. She isn't a person who likes asking for help, she mostly does things alone but she knew that she had no other choice this time. Going to therapy was a healthy thing to do, she didn't want to use other coping mechanisms. She even started talking to Kai. She didn't tell him everything about Skybound but still it was something. Nya was strong enough to realise and finally admit that she needed help. If she learnt something during possession and skybound it's that she doesn't always have to do everything alone and letting someone help her isn't a bad thing. At least she learnt her lesson after all the stuff she'd been through.

With Master Wu, Kai and her therapist's help and support she managed to remain sane. She even did the first small steps into becoming healthy again. It took time, lots of effort and it was very hard for her but success doesn't come for free, it needs hard work and Nya knew that very well.

Jay on the other hand.... He did the opposite thing. Jay found the opportunity to destroy himself completely. Why? No one knew, no one remembered. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even to his friends, neither to his... family,

nor to Kai.

Kai, his best friend since forever, had never seem him in such a state before! And he was worried. Nya didn't know what happened to Jay in Nadakhan's ship... No one knew because Jay never told them, no matter how many times they tried to approach him and talk with him. He was becoming distant, building his walls.

His usual happy and cheerful self was gone. He was like a different person! He even asked Nya to give him a break. A break from a relationship that had barely started. A break from a relationship that Jay wanted this whole time. He didn't even want to hear Wu's advices. Cole and Zane had no chance with him. Neither Lloyd could find out what was the problem.

They knew that Jay had been a prisoner in Nadakhan's ship because Nya told them. But no one knew what actually happened there. Only Jay remembered those moments and he could never forget them.

Nadakhan broke Jay completely and took away his happiness. Poor Jay was so close to give up. He didn't actually believe that he could survive in this life for any longer. He lost all hope. That's how his cigarettes became his "friends". He first started smoking after Zane's "death" at s3 but now he started doing it uncontrollably. Kai even found an empty bottle of alcohol under his bed once.

This was the current situation:

Jay doesn't listen to Wu, he avoids and ignores his friends, he pushes everyone away, and Nya? Once she finally decided to give him the love he desperately wanted for so long... He doesn't want it anymore. He doesn't deserve it, no. He knew that he lost himself and this new Jay would hurt everyone around him. Mostly the old Jay who was still somewhere deep inside his heart but too deep for him to reach.

Jay thought that he was stuck in a loop-like situation. He still desperately wanted to feel loved and desirable and special and cared for by someone... But he thought he couldn't...

Someone who doesn't love himself can't be loved by others.

Nobody actually cares about you.

Who would ever love someone as pathetic as you?

You are useless. Only a burden for those who pretend to care about you just because they pity you!

You're not worthy of my pity... You're not worthy of anyone's love...

That's all that Jay knew and all he could think about 24 hours per day. That's what he kept saying to him and what Jay's mind repeats, day and night, since then.

Instead of getting the love and affection he wanted, he got the complete opposite. So, after that, he started having meaningless one night stands with just... Whoever wanted him. He chose this way to feel some temporal "love". This wasn't love... This was just lust. It meant nothing. It was just cold, rough, painful, almost abusive sex. Jay got used to that pain. Even a little addicted. Addicted to this feeling of humiliation, pain and torture.

A part of him wanted to quit and try to become healthy again. But he didn't feel like he could do it. He didn't even know if he had the choice anymore. He just continued falling in the arms of any man who wanted him. And who could say anything since is was his own choice? Jay just kept breaking his own heart more than it was already broken.

During most of those times he was kinda drunk. It felt somewhat good since he wasn't thinking clearly. But the next morning when he was sober again... When he found himself naked, cold and alone? He hated himself! He wanted to rip his own skin! The self-harm scars on his body forced him to use tones of makeup to be able to hide them.

And the same scene was repeating itself over and over again. Jay, laying on a huge empty bed, alone, cold, naked, shivering and crying... He just lost count of all the times he returned home late at night, dizzy, hurt and broken. His already revealing clothes ripped from his own anger and bursting.

What kind of person was he now? He said that he had no idea. Oh, but he knew... He just didn't want to admit it.

He blamed himself for everything. He didn't think that he deserved to be a ninja anymore.

............................................................................

Kai's heart was breaking more and more every single day. He couldn't stand watching his precious best friend like that anymore. He hated all the times he had to hear Jay's footsteps at 3 am. He knew that his friend was going down the wrong path.

He desperately wanted to help Jay get out of this madness. He just didn't know what to do. While he was her "personal therapist at home", Nya told him all that she knew about Jay during skybound but it wasn't enough. Something extremely bad had happened in that ship but he didn't know what. He had no idea what made Jay's heart break like that. His mind though of every possibility. Just not of the one that actually happened. No, it couldn't be... right?

Kai definitely wasn't an idiot. He wasn't naive either. He wasn't delusional. Kai knew how cruel this world could be. He knew how much darkness was out there. He knew how unfair and painful life could become sometimes. He just didn't expect that his beloved Jay had to go through something like that. No, this was too much for him to even think about it.

He promised one thing though. He would find out the truth behind Jay's current behaviour. In a period where everyone was mad at his friend, he would find out what happened in that ship. He wouldn't leave his friend's side no matter what. Never. Especially now that Jay needed him the most.

[spookyspecterino]

Soft Moments in the Stars

Sam Coe x GN! Reader

GN! Reader. No pronouns, no use of Y/N, or reader descriptions used.

Anxiety, worry, some fear (Sam is there to comfort you and calm you down). Comfort, breathing exercises, reassurance.

Staring out into the stars, while everyone sleeps, your mind starts to worry. Sam notices you're awake and stays up with you.

Characters: Sam Coe. Mentions of Cora Coe, Sarah, Barrett, and Andreja.

Haha, bet you didn't expect another so soon! This is short. But I really needed it. Now that the poll requests are done, I can get into the heavier more plot related stuff >:) (Aka: my sad era)

Staring up at the stars, what a primal instinct it’s been for all of humanity since the dawn of creation. The unknown, the curiosity, the wonder in it. How long have humans been looking up at the night sky? And how many of your ancestors have done just the same; sitting, staring, and questioning?

What’s out there? How do you fit in to any of it? In this vast field of stars, of people, of planets—why are you the one to go on this cosmic journey?

New Atlantis had too much light pollution to look up and stargaze at night. Akila city had too much dust and sand in the air. But now, in the cockpit of the Frontier, the entire universe stretches out for your curious, pondering eyes.

Quiet moments, when everyone is asleep and the ship drifts across the blackest sea, are rare. It’s an opportunity to sit and really think. At times, maybe the constant hustle and bustle from place to place, mission to mission, is good. It’s a distraction, that much is clear. The lively conversations among your crew, Sarah jotting down notes about unexplored systems, Cora with her enthusiastic book reports—is comforting.

You may not always have them. It may be, in time, this quiet, contemplative silence is all you have left.

It’s a chilling, anxiety-ridden truth that you’ve been forced to think of more and more. Especially now.

With every new temple you discover, every new power you gain, a rift grows between you and the others. There’s a distinct feeling to it.

Sarah and Noel look at you like you’re something to be studied. Barrett uses constant humor and jokes to cover his nervousness. Andreja feels threatened by the power imbalance.

Only Sam continues to treat you the same.

Sam—wonderful, optimistic, loving, Sam.

Your shining light in the dark.

Every outcome is uncertain, but his promises of staying with you—always being at your side, no matter what—is a comfort unlike anything else.

A long-winded sigh leaves you. Your mind can’t help but wander into the worst-case scenarios or worry about the unknown. If these temples turn you into some kind of monster… what then? If your destiny takes you on a different path than his, how can you see it coming? Could you even prevent it?

What about Cora? Will she grow up without you? Her own path taking her elsewhere?

Is this all for nothing? Is this endless space an indifferent, uncaring, void that only seeks to be filled with violence—

Soft hands caress your tense shoulders. “Hey. What’re you doing up?”

Like a light switch being flipped, the anxious, spiraling thoughts cease. A lucid calm washes over you.

You lean back in your pilot’s seat, feeling the warmth of Sam behind you. “Couldn’t sleep.” You murmur.

He hums softly, leaning down closer to you. “What’s bothering you, sweetheart?”

“It’s hard to say.”

“Hmm…” He presses soft kisses to your shoulder, gently kneading the other. “Describe how you’re feeling.”

“Frustrated. I guess. I have so many questions.”

His thumbs move to massage between your shoulder blades. “I can tell, you’re very tense.”

This makes you chuckle, a breathy and tired sound. You can feel his short beard against your neck. His lips ghost over your skin. “Come back to bed, we can work some of that frustration out.”

A very tempting offer. Other nights you would happily accept to be whisked away in his arms, forget everything, and curl up next to him to start a new day. But something stops you.

He can feel your hesitation. His lips hover and his hands pause.

“It’s…It’s not just that…” You frown at the stars. Sam’s faint reflection in the glass watches you with caring, patient eyes.

“I’m…I’m scared—terrified, actually.” As if a great floodgate opens, you release your thoughts into the still air. “I don’t know what’s coming next; I rely on Constellation to have at least some idea of what we’re getting into. Seeing Sarah and Noel just as confused as I am…it’s really unsettling. These temples and powers…what if they change me into someone—or something—unrecognizable?”

Your breath quickens. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so much responsibility on my shoulders now, it’s all so sudden. What if I screw up? What if I get someone hurt—what if I get you hurt? Or if I make the wrong choice and—”

“Whoa, whoa. Easy. Take a deep breath.”

You do, filling your lungs just as he does, as he guides you along.

In and out. Slow. In and out.

Your heart calms, just a little, but your racing thoughts still tumble around your mind. “Thanks.” You whisper, leaning your head back against his shoulder and closing your eyes.

“Stand up. I wanna hold you.”

His hands guide you out of the chair, sliding under your arms and around you like a safety net. Your hands lay over his. They’re always so warm, while yours are always cold.

His body presses against yours, flooding you with his warmth, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. He murmurs into your skin. “It’s alright. I’ve got you. I will always be with you.” His fingers tangle with yours, smooth and practiced.

“It’s natural to make mistakes—and it’s not your fault. You’re learning just like the rest of us. There’s no way you can predict the future, so go easy on yourself. Making mistakes is human.” He trails light kisses up your neck to the shell of your ear. “As for everything else—we take it one step at a time, together. If something doesn’t feel right, we can adjust or take a break. Don’t push yourself. The universe isn’t going anywhere.”

Tears dot the corner of your eyes as you smile and nod. Your voice is barely a whisper. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Anytime, love.”

You take some more steadying breaths, feeling your lungs fill and empty out rhythmically. “You always know exactly what to say.”

He chuckles, his breath is warm against your skin. “I know you, and I know how it feels to be weighed down by anxious thoughts.”

After a few more minutes of watching the stars, feeling your mind slow and your thoughts ease, “I think I’m ready for bed now.”

“You sure? I can give you some more time alone if you need it.”

“Nah.” You turn in his arms to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You’re greeted with the softest blue eyes and a loving smile. “I’m good now.”

Sam presses his forehead to yours. “I love you. You know that right?”

“Of course.” You press a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you too.”

His content, happy, sigh—one of your favorite noises—lifts your heart out of the gloom.

[eventinelysplayground]

Anatomy Lesson

This fic is brought to you by my conversation with @echoes-in-the-forest when we were laughing over the misreading of my previous Isaac fics title. It just stuck in my head and I was inspired for this, it is also the fic that got 0% of the votes for my badly described WIP poll awhile back which me knowing what it was made me laugh because I think it'll be popular, it was also finished awhile ago but it got pushed back for other stuff. This fic is definitely NSFW so minors do not interact. Isaac decides to learn more about anatomy and enlists your help while studying. WC approx 1796.

Isaac sat in his chair reading, his desk was covered in books, some closed while others were laid open to various pages. He barely registered the knock on his door or the sweet voice that followed it.

“Isaac it's me, I brought you something to eat and some rogue.”

“Huh? Oh!”

Isaac had finally lifted his head out from his book at your voice and when he did he noticed it had gotten very dark.

“I must have read through dinner.”

“That's why I brought you up something.”

Isaac felt you place a soft kiss on the top of his head and he smiled up at you.

“Thank you and I am sorry I didn't come down to eat.”

“It's alright Isaac I know you get lost in your research though, this doesn't look like your normal research.”

“You're right it's not.”

Isaac followed your gaze down to one of the open pages that had a diagram of a skull on it.

“I didn't think you were interested in biology.”

“That's a bit generalized but you're right I never really cared much about it.”

“So what brought this on then?”

“Earlier today Le Recteur ‘asked’ me to take over Professor Belanger’s anatomy class for him as he was called away for an emergency and I was free. I told him I wasn't familiar with anatomy but he said I would be fine, the students had just started an examination and only needed someone there to supervise them.”

Isaac heard the giggle you tried to hide and he frowned.

“Getting back to the point as the students began to hand in their examinations I decided to look over them and realized just how little I knew about the subject. I always had a generalized knowledge of it but nothing in depth. Honestly I never really cared to study it, I was too focused on other more serious subjects. I found myself quite curious reading through the exam papers and just like other scientific fields it's changed so much over the intervening years and I found myself wanting to learn more.”

Isaac reached for his sandwich and took a big bite out of it.

“Well I'm glad you found something new and interesting. I'll let you get back to your books, just promise me you won't forget to eat again.”

As you turned to leave Isaac had an idea and he hurriedly swallowed his bite of sandwich.

“Actually, would you mind helping me?”

“Of course not but I don't think I can be of much help, biology wasn't my best class.”

Isaac stood up from his chair gently grabbing your upper arms and guiding you to stand in the center of his room.

“Umm Isaac how is this helping you?”

Isaac walked back over to his desk and picked up a thick book before returning to you.

“This book talks about the different bones and muscle structures. The drawings are good but I think it will be easier to understand by following along on an actual body. That is, if it's alright with you?”

“I already said I didn't mind helping you and I'm done with work for the day so why not.”

“Excellent! Thank you.”

Isaac gave you a quick peck on the cheek before he started flipping through the thick book. As he combed through the text he would reach out and poke, prod or twist you around in different places feeling for muscle groupings or seeing how they worked together while your body was in motion.

Isaac was mildly aware of you moving occasionally, like when he ran his fingers from your side across your stomach and you squirmed as you let out a giggle, but for the most part he was completely absorbed in his new fascination. He started to become more focused blocking out all possible distractions as well as becoming more thorough with his touch.

“Isaac.”

His hands had slowly and methodically moved their way upwards caressing over your stomach and sides, along your arms and shoulders and now moved slowly along your neck.

“Isaac.”

Isaac didn't stop, he brushed your hair aside to get a better look at the back of your neck leaning in close to examine you better with his lips almost grazing the side of your neck.

“Isaac!”

He was pulled back to the present suddenly by your loud and desperate sounding cry of his name.

“Did, did I hurt you? I'm sorry I should have been more careful poking and-”

Isaac had moved to stand in front of you concerned he had hurt you somehow with his examination but what he found was not a look of pain or distress on your face but one of longing and desire.

“You didn't hurt me Isaac it's just…”

Your words trailed off and Isaac could see your cheeks and ears were flushed.

“The way you were touching me felt so good and…my body started getting other ideas.”

“It, it did?”

“Yes.”

Now it was Isaac whose cheeks were turning red as he thought about the way he had been touching her. He felt that familiar heat stirring inside him. Encouraged by the look in your eyes he stepped closer to you running his fingers along your cheek.

“You know I…I think it would be more helpful to me if we removed your clothes. That way I could get a better feel of everything. Of course you don't have to if you don't want to-”

“No! I mean, no it's fine Isaac. I don't mind taking them off.”

Isaac swallowed hard as he watched you slowly unbutton and remove your blouse, followed by your skirt. He stood there in awe of your perfect body, your perfect heart that loved him despite how awkward he was. Once you were completely bare in front of him he stepped closer and began his study of your body again.

Isaac started where he had stopped when you had called out to him. His fingers glided along your neck followed by his lips. Each time his lips touched your bare skin he could feel you shiver and detect a change in your body temperature. Slowly, methodically he kissed his way across your neck and over your shoulder. He heard the small sigh you let escape your lips and he smiled to himself.

He kissed down from your shoulder across the top of each breast while his finger caressed down your sides and hips. He could hear how fast your heart was beating and he rained kisses down right where it should be. He continued his exploration of you running his tongue over one nipple before capturing it in his mouth and sucking hard.

“Mmm Isaac.”

“Shhh, I like quiet when I study.”

Isaac was surprised that he voiced his request aloud and he looks up to see your eyes briefly wide with shock before you nod at him, a sheepish smile on your lips. Of course he knew he could be demanding but right now he wanted to explore your body fully and just the sound of your sweet voice alone was enough to undo him.

He brought his lips to your other breast tenderly kissing along it. As his lips closed around your nipple he moved one hand from your hip down along your stomach and in between your legs. His fingers caressed your inner thigh as he methodically studied every little twitch of your muscles brought on by his actions.

Slowly he moves his fingers further inward towards your most sensitive spot. He makes sure his touch is feather light as he lets his fingers glide over your wetness, wanting to draw out more reactions from your body.

“Do you know how many different muscles and parts of the body are used to perform something as simple as a kiss?”

Isaac's question was rhetorical of course as he closed his lips over yours before you could even begin to think of an answer. As he deepens the kiss and twines his tongue with yours he hears the muffled moans of pleasure that try to escape your captured lips. He wanted to take his time studying your body but now his own desire is too far gone.

“I'm sorry, I can't wait any longer.”

“Don't apologize, I want y-”

Isaac runs his thumb along your lips to cut you off.

“Shhh.”

He kisses you again as you both move towards his bed, your hands working furiously at the buttons on his shirt while his own undo his belt. Isaac wastes no time once you've reached the bed and has you pinned beneath him without breaking your kiss. He doesn't even bother to finish removing his pants instead just pulling them down just enough to free his hard cock so that he can take you.

“I wanted to be gentle with you but I can't.”

Isaac's lips find yours again as he briefly brushes up against your wetness before guiding himself deep inside you. His thrusts are quick and deep and he can feel your body reacting to his. The way your skin is flushed and warm, the way your panting into his kiss, the movement of your hips and the increasing wetness as he pleasures you. He grips one of your hands in his and laces your fingers together.

“Your body is amazing, the way you react to my touch, the way I fit inside you perfectly and how you tighten around me. It's like your body was designed to compliment mine in every way, created for me alone.”

Isaac kissed you once more before sinking his fangs into your neck. He feels your body arch as your core tightens around him and he knows you're desperately trying not to cry out in pleasure. He thrusts even faster and harder now, his heat reaching farther into you then it has before. His free hand moves to knead your breast as he licks the blood from your neck. He lifts himself to look at you and finds you biting down on your hand to stop your cries.

Seeing you trying so hard to fulfill his desires only makes him want you more and he thrusts even faster. He moves your hand from your mouth nipping at your lower lip before piercing it with his fangs. As your body writhes beneath him from the new wave of heat his release hits and he fills you up with it. Normally he would be satiated with this much for now but not tonight.

“It's not enough, I'm going to love you all night long.”

Isaac waits only long enough to catch your nod before he starts thrusting again while sinking his fangs deep into the crook of your neck and keeping true to his word.

[frenchkanna1808]

Hello!

This is the comeback of the FRENCHGREMLIM POLLS OF LAZINESS. (here is the link to the old one)

Here is a little recap for people who didn't see the older posts, i frenchie, am a professional procrastinator, but i also love writing big analysis, and i can't chose what to write between all my silly ideas, so to motivate myself to write, i had an idea, what if i made people chose what i will write about ?

Last time winner was "Why midori is such a breath of fresh air or how to actually write a villain". it was 30k words, which is longer than i prepared. So just like i promised, older options and newer options will be added. Please in the comments do push your personal choice to be chosen. Do your own propaganda for what you want! So let's start:

sorry some of them were cut

"Lessons in character designs and how to maybe creating ugly designs might be good"

"The many biblical references in the death game or why kanna is christ figure"

"keiji is such an asshole and why i love morally dubious character"