#i didn't bring the entire box with me so that is gonna be a weekend job

[maryse127]

Hi I am 23 years old and had to google how to rip a cd because I always let my dad do it when I was young and the last few years I didn't need to/wasn't able to because music on Spotify and computet has no disc drive. But now I finally ordered a disc drive because I have a 20 CD Xenoblade soundtrack box that needs to be ripped

[magewritesstories]

[ ꜱᴜɢᴜʀᴜ ɢᴇᴛᴏ ] ᴅʀᴏᴡɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴀɴ

summary: you slowly feel suguru pulling away during your last summer at Jujutsu Tech tw: allusion to depression, mentions of mass murder, angst note: why why why is my taste in men so fucked??? also i tried writing a good representation of the above mentioned but i'm not sure how it turned out so pls if you have tips feel free to tell me! words: 1.5K jujutsu kaisen masterlist

❝ My grandfather used to say, "You can't save a drowning man." And I would look at him strangely, "But I can try, can't I?" ❞

It had been an incredibly hot summer that year—but this weekend was especially unbearable.

You walked down the wooden halls of the Jujutsu Tech dorms on your own.

Gojo had been sent out on another mission, and Shoko had buried herself in books to prepare for her upcoming medical exams.

Mei Mei and Utahime went out shopping together with the promise to bring you back some treats.

And both Nanami and Haibara seemed to be unbothered by the heat and were out sparring on the training grounds.

So, now you turned to the last resort you had, bothering Geto.

This morning he'd turned down your offer of going to get ice-cream, claiming he had some homework to do. But that had been almost four hours ago—so it should be fine if you asked him to hang out now, right?

You knocked on the wooden door three times before walking inside. "Suguru?" You call out softly, pushing open the door that had already been standing slightly ajar.

The room was dimly lit, with only a few streams if sunlight shining through the dark blue curtains that were pulled closed.

You took a few slow, soft steps towards the bed, careful to avoid the stuff strewn across the floor.

"Suguru?" You repeated, and this time the pile of blankets on his bed moved.

The boy turned around to face you, sunken cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. "Y/N? I thought you went out for ice-cream?"

You frown at the statement, "That was three hours ago, Suguru—have you been in bed the entire day?"

He didn't reply, instead turning to face the ceiling with a sigh. "I didn't have the energy to do my work."

"Oh," You let out softly, brushing a stray strand of black out of his face, "Are you sick?"

"No... Just tired," He replied, mustering a weak close-eyed smile.nYou nodded understandingly, "I was gonna go get food, want me to get you something?"

He shook his head, "No. I'm probably not gonna come out for dinner anyway."

"Are you sure?" You ask softly as he peers his eyes open, just letting out a soft hum. "Have you eaten at all today?"

You sigh as he doesn't reply, "I can bring you something here, you should at least eat something—maybe Satoru can bring you one of those cakes you like so much?"

"I'm sure," He mutters, so softly that even in the quiet of the room you could barely hear him. You sigh and stand, "Okay, text me if you need anything."

You linger in the doorway on your way out, sending a worried glance his way but he doesn't see it. His back is already turned to you and he's buried himself in the blankets again.

❝ My grandfather used to say, "You can't save a drowning man." And I would look at him strangely, "But I can try, can't I?" He would smile and pinch my cheeks, "Of course, but always be careful and make sure that he wants to be saved." ❞

You walk towards Suguru standing in the doorway of Jujutsu Tech.

"What're you doing here?" You ask, placing a hand on his arm. The black-haired man jumps out of his reverie, "Oh, hey, Y/N."

The expression on his face is blank, like the sound of your voice in being drowned out by something entirely different.

Eventually he seems to return, and blinks before asking, "What are you doing with that box?"

"It's—it was Haibara's," You say looking down at the carton box glumly, "It's the last of his stuff, I figured we should probably deliver it to his mom..."

Suguru lets out a soft, silent Oh. "How are you going to get there?" He asks, making you shrug, "I was planning on taking the train."

You turn to look at the rain outside. "I'll drive you, if you want?" He offers, making you shake your head, "No. It's okay. I can do this own my own."

"Doesn't mean you have to," Suguru replies plainly, "Wait here, I'll go get changed and drive you."

Before you can protest, he's already dissapeared behind the door. Defeatedly you let out a sigh and let yourself fall onto the steps with a defeated sigh.

You were concerned for Suguru. Despite the fact that he was outside more often nowadays he wasn't the same as before. But then again, you couldn't expect him to be the same. Not after everything.

You buried your head in your hands. You wanted to help your friends, if only you knew how. Damn it, damn it, you felt so useless.

"Y/N?" Suguru's voice cut off your train of thought as you looked back up, he was holding up the keys to the car, "You ready to go?"

Dusting yourself off, you got up and followed after him.

The mood was glum, and the loud crashing of rain against the car windows didn't help either.

Next to you, Suguru's hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Are you okay?" You ask concerndly as his breath became slightly haggard. He just nodded and looked back up, gicing you and unconvincing smile, "I'm okay."

The rest of the ride is fairly silent, neither of you bothering to make small talk or turn on the radio.

You watch the traffic passing by, legs pulled up as you hugged your knees.

"Why did you become a Jujutsu sorcerer?" Suguru asks out of nowhere, making you turn towards him in confusion, "What?"

"Why did you become a Jujutsu sorcerer?" He repeats, not looking away from the road, depite standing still at a red light.

You think about the question. "Because I want to help people, I suppose," You finally reply, "Maybe it's a bit altruistic, but I want to help as much people as I can—Jujutsu is the best way I can do that."

"You think everyone deserves the help?" He asks, eyes still trained on the road, "You think everyone deserves to be saved?"

The question shocks you. Was this really the same Suguru that always preached that it was the job of the strong to protect the weak?

Nonetheless you nod, "I do. I believe that no matter what, people deserve to be saved. If not for the sake of saving them then for the sake of the people waiting for them."

"Okay." He doesn't offer an explanation for asking the question and you don't ask for one.

❝ My grandfather used to say, "You can't save a drowning man." And I would look at him strangely, "But I can try, can't I?" He would smile and pinch my cheeks, "Of course, but always be careful and make sure that he wants to be saved." "What do you mean? I would ask, wide-eyed. He sighed, "Because a drowning man that doesn't want to be saved will only drag you down to the depths with him."❞

The words keep repeating in your head. Sentenced to execution, sentenced to execution, sentenced to execution.

You run down the street as fast as your feet will carry you. Where you're going? You have no clue, but you just have to get away from it all.

The cold breeze cuts at your skin as you pace quickens until you finally run out of strength Where were you?

A small chill ran down you spine as you felt a familiar presence.

"Suguru?" You ask, turning towards the familiar man that suddenly feels like a stranger.

He gives you that damned smile, "Hey, Y/N."

You walk over to him, and then run until your standing toe-to-toe. "Tell me it isn't true," You say, hitting his chest as tears well up in your eyes, "Tell me this is another scheme of the higher ups."

"It is true." The calmness of his voice only makes you want to slap him across the face. So you do. "I guess I deserve that."

You want to shout at him, shake him and tell him to come back to his senses. But the only thing you manage to do is let out a broken "Why?"

"Because it's the only way to make sure that we can live in a world without this much pain," He explains, but it flies right over your head.

Your sad tears turn into angry ones. "A world without pain?" You scoff at the statement, "And what about the pain of the people who lost their loved ones because of you? What about the pain of everyone at Jujutsu Tech because of what you did? Huh, what about Satoru's pain? My pain?"

"It was necessary," He replied, "There was a point to it, trust me."

"Trust you? Trust you?!" You can't help but laugh at the statement as you take a step back, "Suguru, I don't even recognize you anymore!"

He sighs, "Then I suppose you won't think about joining me?"

You shake your head in disbelief. You want to tell him to stop, that he's being stupid. But you don't. "You've gone crazy," You say instead.

Suguru nods, "I didn't expect everyone to understand. Thank you for hearing me out anyway."

You shake your head as he uses his thumb to wipe away the tears from your cheeks.

Suguru turns around and leaves. He never looks back, never lingers.

"Goodbye, Y/N."

[spottedbread]

Ok I never told you guys what happened. Tw: Guns at school, bandaid solutions, strong language. It's also just a generally long rant

So on Tuesday a middle schooler brought a gun to school. He went through the entire day with it and no adult knew. Of course the kids were going insane on their phones about it. They find out later that evening that the guy had a fucking gun and for the next two days there's almost nothing done; no announcement, no statement, just quietly punishing the students and moving on. So okay.

We're out of school on Friday because of "rumors" (which dude shut the fuck up we know what happened we're not stupid. Some of my sophomore buddies have been freaking out the entire fucking week about it). So yeah okay 3 day weekend. Maybe they bought some weapon detection or something. I mean it has been a MINIMUM of 30 years with this school having a total of ZERO metal detectors in the building so maybe they took some action?

They release a video statement on Facebook that night. They're not, in fact, getting metal detectors over the weekend. Instead, we as students aren't allowed to have backpacks until further notice...??

Actually let me find it. Okay "Anything large enough to hold a spiral notebook is prohibited until further notice." Okay. What the fuck. Do these people HEAR THEMSELVES. They go on to say that they'll "talk about" weapon detection.

Yknow maybe if all our funding for the past thirty fucking years didn't go to the football team that ISNT EVEN THAT GOOD then maybe we would've HAD weapon detection and that wouldn't have happened. But I do also understand that they have to pour all their funds into trying to make good sports teams because our test scores sure aren't getting them any extra funding that's for sure.

Anyways there are no clear backpacks, no drawstrings, and lunch boxes are subject to search. And the lockers that usually COST MONEY TO HAVE are being given out for free, but only during 4th period and after. So okay. Alright. Yknow make our trips from one end of the building to an entirely different building that much harder, gotcha.

Oh and if you have sports equipment or god forbid you have band or Orchestra, you have to drop that shit off in certain areas. Music kids have it a bit better, they're putting it in the classroom. But God forbid a kid taking History of Music for his fuckin humanities credit wants to ruin your life for the next little while and takes your shit. Oh and the sports kids have it worse. They're being told to put their things IN THE GYM. Not even in a holding area, just on the fucking BLEACHERS. Yeahhhhhh. I shouldn't have come to school today what the fuck are these people thinking.

Because it's one thing to just not have metal detectors. I mean it's been long enough but what fucking ever. But disallowing us to bring our work in any decent way (my sympathy to people who can't even carry their shit in their ARMS btw), making people put their stuff for extra activities in public locations, offering a lackluster option in these 30 year old lockers which you typically have to pay for, not even mentioning that they're waiting until TUESDAY to hold a school board meeting over it when they have the power to call off school and extend the weekend to maybe fucking FIND AND IMPLIMENT A DECENT SOLUTION INSTEAD OF RUSHING OUT A STATEMENT ON FRIDAY (I bet somethings gonna happen btw. Tensions are too high, some kid's gonna stick a gun down his pants. If I don't post for a while then you know what happened). It's all rushed and not thought through. And they also are just putting more police officers on campus on top of having MORE adults who aren't police watching over us at all times. Because that'll ease tension. They're honestly doing nothing to ease the tensions around here and something bad is going to happen.

I wanted to bring my backpack so bad. I was going to until my parents who were going along with my idea suddenly switched their attitudes last night. Then I just felt like feigning sick just to not go. I mean I shouldn't have to put up with this, I'm in AP and dual-credit courses I don't have the time to deal with this shit. But I ended up bringing nothing except my choir binder. Because they're making their priorities clear; they want to wring out as many school days from us as possible instead of taking the proper time off to actually impliment real security (because if the lot of adults at these schools can't stop a kid from smuggling a gun in then what are a few more gonna do for them?) So I'm making mine clear too.

TLDR: Middle schooler brought a gun to school. My school made us not allowed to have backpacks in response. Also they added a bunch more police officers and aren't making metal detectors a priority.

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Denki And Mina Think Katsuki Needs To Be A Softer, Nicer Boyfriend, And An Insecure Katsuki Agrees, But [Y/N] [L/N] Doesn't Want A Nicer Boyfriend, She Wants Him.

Requested By: @spicyhokage

Edited: 1-6-2021

It was late when Katsuki came in through class 2-A's dormitory doors. Being his second year at UA the school was allowing students to go back into student internships. With Best Jeanist still off the streets, Katsuki wound up interning with Fatgum, using the link between Eijirou and him to get in. Katsuki hadn't expected to be out for so long, there had been a bad villain that showed up at a different agency and it was a perfect match for both his and Fatgum's abilities. Fatgum had allowed Katsuki to work on it with him, nevermind the fact that Katsuki had already planned a study date for your upcoming test Monday, he jumped at the chance to work with the heroes.

Katsuki knew, or at least he hoped, that you wouldn't be that mad or upset at him for ditching you at the very last minute. It was a leg up in the hero industry, it was a helping hand, he could make more connections and improve his skills. As a student hero, you should know how important this is. He'd want you to make the same choice if it was reversed.

Despite abandoning your date, Katsuki wasn't heartless. He bought a bouquet of hydrangeas as an apology. Apologies weren't something he was good at, but he hoped you would accept it. Katsuki was hoping you would be up waiting for him in the dormitory lounge when he came back, but he knew that one was a longshot. He'd rather have you in bed resting, or making up for the studying he promised to help with but hadn't. Katsuki was hoping he'd find you in the dormitory lounge waiting for him, but instead, he found two of his peers.

"You were out awfully late, weren't you?"

"Shut it, pink face. I need to go see [Y/N] and then head to bed, like a smart student. You and dunce face do realize that we have a big test Monday, don't you?"

Katsuki marched right past Mina and Denki, who were sitting on the couch, towards the elevator to get up to your dorm. If he was right, Mr. Aizawa would be asleep by this hour, and getting into your dorm would be no issue. Katsuki stopped walking towards the elevator when he hears Minas' voice speak out again.

"Did you really get hydrangeas for her? You ditched her for your internship and you got hydrangeas? Girls like roses Katsuki. If a guy ever brought me hydrangeas, I'd kick his butt to the door. Queens deserve better."

"What the fuck are you implying raccoon eyes?"

Katsuki turned back around to yell at Mina for implying that he wasn't good enough for you. He nearly crumpled the flowers by clenching his hand. Mina didn't know what she was talking about. He had brought you hydrangeas several times before, you never complained about it. Denki spoke up to try and intervene Katsuki from blowing up on Mina.

"I think what Mina meant to say is that we're just worried for you. You really like [Y/N], right? Take it from a guy who gets dumped by girls a lot. Pretty girls like [Y/N] don't need to sit around waiting for guys like us. While you're trying to further your career you're ditching her, not to mention, when is the last time you showed her affection?"

"For starters, dunce face, don't call my girlfriend pretty. Secondly, there are no guys like us and girls like [Y/N], there's me, her, and all of you fucking extras that need to get out of my relationship."

"Fine, don't take our advice. Just so you know, [Y/N] isn't in her dorm, she's in the kitchen."

Mina practically sings her words out, and Katsuki changes his course of route from the elevator to the kitchen. He had a scowl on his face the entire time, courtesy of Mina and Denki. He had to restrain himself from beating them with the bouquet. Katsuki reached the kitchen door and he took a minute to recompose himself from his previous anger to a calmer version of himself. He pushed the door open with a calmer smile on his face but stops after opening it halfway.

"What's the answer to number two?"

"Uhm... 6?"

"That's right! Here's your reward."

Katsuki clenched his fist, practically ruining the flowers. He ditched you and your study date, he shouldn't be getting so mad at seeing you and Deku study together. You can have friends other than him. You can be around members of the male gender other than him. Even if it is shitty Deku. You're allowed to have a life outside of Katsuki, but as Deku broke apart a cookie and threw it right into your mouth, a sweet reward for getting the question right, he was ready to toss hands with the boy.

"We're gonna ace this test Monday. Thanks for studying with me Deku. I hate studying alone and you're great at math. Usually, Katsuki helps me, but he got busy."

"It's no problem, [Y/N]. Seriously, I'm always here if you need me."

Katsuki quietly pulled the door shut instead of going in and interrupting you and dumb Deku. Maybe Mina was right. Katsuki thought about it more as he walked back to Mina and Denki. He didn't really show you affection that much, and he did spend a lot of time in the gym or at his internship. His idea of a date was training together or studying. You probably hated the flowers but chose not to speak on it. If he didn't change, change now and fast he was going to lose you to that shit-munch. He needed to show you he was the better more deserving man. As Katsuki stared at Mina and Denki he uttered the words he never wanted to say to them.

"I want your fuckin' help."

"Bring [Y/N] roses. Girls love roses. Not a daffodil, not baby's breath, not a tulip. Roses."

Roses were Mina's first piece of advice to Katsuki. According to her, girls only cared about getting roses, and every other flower was inferior. She also said apology flowers must be paired with chocolates. Katsuki personally thought that was bullshit. He had been bringing you different breeds of flowers throughout your entire relationship and never once had you vocalized disdain for it. But Mina is a girl unlike him, so she must have had some kind of special insight. You must have just not wanted to make him feel bad for messing up. Katsuki knew he was inexperienced in the dating area, but he hadn't realized he was screwing up so badly.

Katsuki did exactly what Mina said. Saturday afternoon, Katsuki showed up at your dorm with a bouquet of yellow roses and a box of chocolates, the milk chocolate kind. According to Mina, milk chocolate was better than dark chocolate. He knocked on the door after checking his phone for the time. He knew you didn't like getting up early on the weekend, and you had been up late studying the night before. Twelve-thirty seemed like a reasonable time to stop by.

You opened the door, slippers on your feet, eyes barely opened, and a crinkled forehead as you tried to slightly open them to see who you were staring at. You had a pair of shorts on and one of Katsuki's sweatshirts. One you promised you hadn't seen and swore he must've lost in the dorms laundry facility. Katsuki smiled down at your sleepy form, you were adorable. Once you registered who it was you yawned and crossed your arms as you lazily leaned against the door frame and let a small smile cross your face.

"What're you doing here? You were out so late last night, you must be exhausted."

"I could say the same about you, you look like the epitome of tired. How late were you up?"

"No later than two. When did you get in?"

Katsuki didn't want to tell you he came in at midnight. You would've asked him why he didn't come to see you, and he didn't want to say that he saw you and Deku studying together. He didn't want to admit that he felt pained at seeing you together so close. Pained at you needing and using Deku as you would him. Katsuki held up the roses and chocolates and thrust them into your arms.

"I didn't even check the time. I brought you apology flowers and chocolate for ditching you. They're roses!"

"O-Oh, they're yellow."

You took the items he thrust into your arms and moved further into your dorm so he could come in. You set the chocolate down on the bed but kept observing the flowers. Katsuki was quite proud of the flowers he picked out. They were pretty and blooming, and he thought you'd like them. Yellow roses would look good in your dorm room. You, on the other hand, were not ecstatic with the flowers. You bit your lip and tried to make your smile bigger. Did he know what yellow roses symbolized? He had to of known, even Denki would know something this simple. Maybe you were reading into it too much, they're just flowers. It was a gift, not a death sentence to your relationship.

"I'll have to go to the kitchen and see if there's anything I can put them in."

Katsuki could sense you being standoffish. He assumed you were upset at him for ditching you the previous night. He did the flowers right, he would just have to go the extra mile to make you happy with him by serving your needs.

"I can go to the kitchen and find a vase! You just shower or get dressed, or whatever, and I'll even bring you up some lunch."

"You don't have to do that. I can get dressed and do it myself."

"I don't have to do it, I want to do it."

Katsuki cupped your cheeks and pressed a quick kiss against your lips. They were soft and sweet. Katsuki could taste the residue sugar from the cookies you had been eating the night before and he pulled back with a frown, making you frown just as much. He wasn't mad that you didn't brush your teeth, although you should have. He was upset at the reminder that Deku was with you when you were supposed to be having a study date. He was upset that Deku was the one who stayed up with you until two in the morning. He was upset that Deku was acting like a better boyfriend when he was just your friend and nothing more. Katsuki should've been doing more, he should've been doing a better job.

"I really am sorry for ditching you yesterday. If you want, we can redo the date today."

"I really missed you yesterday. I did some cramming with Deku, but I don't think he's as good of a teacher as you are."

"Of course dumb Deku isn't as good as me. I'll grab my books before I come back, we'll have a nice do-over date."

Hearing you say that Izuku wasn't as good as him made him feel good. It was slightly reassuring to Katsuki, yet he couldn't stop this budding feeling every time he thought about you and Izuku studying last night.  

"Buy her something nice. Something nice like jewelry. I always see you buying her practical stuff, that's boring. Girls like pretty shiny gifts from their boyfriends."

Mina's second piece of advice had been to buy you some jewelry. According to Mina jewelry was an acceptable gift for a boyfriend to buy his girlfriend. Katsuki had been buying you practical and weird gifts throughout your relationship. He thought they were good, he thought they were sweet and enjoyable. He supposed he was wrong. With every piece of advice from Mina, Katsuki was getting punched in the gut. He thought he was treating you right, he thought he was doing this whole relationship thing right, but he wasn't. If he didn't fix things fast then dumb Deku would steal you away from him.  

Katsuki felt inside of his pocket for the necklace he bought you. He had Mina help him pick it out that morning. It had been sitting there in a pretty little black box with a red bow waiting to be opened. He wanted to give it to you when he gave you the flowers, but he didn't want you to view it as an apology gift, he wanted it to be viewed as a sweet, 'I was thinking of you', gift.

By the time Katsuki had gotten back to your dorm room, you were all showered and dressed in fresh clothes. You were wearing comfortable clothes, and Katsuki had to smile again. You looked simply perfect. With your hair pushed back by a headband, sweatpants, and another one of his sweaters which you practically swam in, you looked angelic to him. Katsuki put a bag containing your lunch on the small table you had in your room, he placed the vase containing your new flowers there too before pulling out your lunch. You grabbed his book bag from him with a smile and began to pull his books out and place them alongside yours in a neatly organized fashion to create a nice study space.

"What'd you find for lunch?"

"There wasn't much in the fridge to quickly grab, so I made some curry."

"I love it when you cook. It always tastes good."

You smiled at Katsuki and placed a quick peck against his cheek before taking a seat next to him. His chest swelled with pride as he watched you freely dig into the container of food. You liked his cooking, and as he watched you feast in it he knew you weren't lying. At least he did one thing right on his own. One more wrong thing and he was sure he was going to blow a casket.

"Aren't you gonna eat?"

You stared at him with half-lidded eyes and spoke with your mouth half full, barely pronouncing your words but Katsuki still knew what you were saying. He stopped staring at you and began working on his own dish. Every once and a while Katsuki noticed your eyes go from your food to his face and then to the flowers before diving back to the food. He supposed you really liked them. It felt good knowing he was doing it right. It felt good knowing you were happy and content with him for the moment.

You wiped your face off and just as you were about to clean up your lunch mess Katsuki jumped up and took care of it. He grabbed your lunch containers and closed them before tossing them back into the bag he brought them in. He took a wet wipe and wiped up your table and then proceeded to toss the dirty wipe in the trash bin.

"Ready to study?"

"Yup! You're a really good teacher, I really look forward to our study dates."

You walked over to your bed and took a seat on the ground whereas Katsuki laid across your bed in a position where he could have a book out and also easily look over the edge to see what you were doing. This was how you always did your study dates. Katsuki would work and watch to see if you were slacking off, then you would switch books and quiz each other. Slowly the clock clicked away, each passing second made Katsuki grow antsy. He wanted to give you the stupid neckless he had inside his pocket. Katsuki huffed as he slammed his book shut and pushed it off of the bed. You craned your neck back to see what Kastuki was doing before narrowing your eyes, no way did he think he could stop studying while he made you work.

"What are you doing? Are you studying up there?"

"No, c'mere."

You huffed as you pulled yourself up off of the floor and crawled onto the bed next to Katsuki. A mixture of blankets and skin touched you as he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you so your back was flush against his chest. He let his head rest inside your neck, and you struggled to pull out of his grip.

"What are you doing? We're supposed to be studying."

"I don't wanna study right now. The test is Monday, we can still study tomorrow."

You bit your lip as you contemplated his offer. He had a point. The test was Monday morning, and it was only Saturday, not to mention that you had studied with Deku yesterday. The offer was just so out of character for Katsuki, part of you wondered if it was a trick and thought he was going to pull out a piece of rolled-up newspaper to hit you with like he did for Eijirou. You let yourself sink into his arms, you had been up to this for a while, you deserved a break.

"Okay, but only a small break. got it?"

"Mm. I got you something."

Katsuki pulled away from your body to dig in his pocket and pull out the small black box. You rolled over so you could face him and your gift with a growing smile on your face. You loved Katsuki's gifts. Whether it was intentional or not, he always got you something you needed. Whether it was you complaining about cold hands or your lack of working pens, the next day you would find gloves and a pack of pens with a note from him saying something stupid, like 'You better use these to take your shitty notes' and 'If you get arthritis in your hands you can't become a hero'. It was always a surprise and a delight. Katsuki handed over the box and you tore the bow off before opening it.

"It's a necklace!"

"Oh, it's very cute."

You tried not to frown as you looked over the necklace. You tried you're best to put a beaming smile on your face. It was still a gift and you needed to show your gratitude. It wasn't as conventional as your other gifts, but it was still pretty. Maybe it had a special meaning? Maybe he saw it and thought of you? It was just so unusual. He never bought you jewelry and the style was obviously not his.

"Did you pick it out yourself?"

You tried not to make it sound like you were fishing for an explanation as you smiled and clasped it around your neck to show how much you 'loved' it. Katsuki contemplated telling you he picked it out himself but seeing as you were friends with Mina he wasn't sure what she'd say and he didn't want to look bad.

"Well, I got a little help. Figured a female's perspective wouldn't hurt."

Suddenly you felt sick to your stomach. Not only had he given you a necklace, an unconventional and unusual gift compared to the ones he usually gave, but he let a girl pick it out. There was no special meaning, it was just pretty. Your mind went back to the flowers. The yellow roses. He bought you yellow roses. Your whole relationship he brought different breeds and types, never roses. Especially not yellow, the color that represented friendship.

"Thank you, I love it!"

You wrapped your arms around Katsuki, bringing him into a big, tight hug. Although you were with him physically, mentally you were in other places. That dark place in the back of your head was telling you why he gave you these offhanded weird gifts. The dark place in the back of your head was filling you with untrue silly thoughts, yet you couldn't help but let your head entertain them and wonder. The more you wondered, the more you wanted to rip your neckless off.

mina

Pop music could be heard blaring loudly from a BlueTooth speaker connected to Mina's phone as you walked into her dorm room. Without knocking you barged right in, Mina supposed there really was a reason you and Katsuki were together. You were both bluntly rude and sometimes you didn't even realize it. You flopped down at the foot of her bed and looked up at her before greeting your pink friend.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Mina didn't look up from what she was doing, she continued flicking through the pages of some fashion-forward girly magazine as she replied to you. You ran your fingers through her soft duvet as you looked around her dorm room. It looked like Claires threw up on the walls and it gave you a major headache. You and Mina had two different style sets, two sets of style very far apart.

"Did you study for the test tomorrow?"

Unlike her room, that was a subject that would give Mina a headache. Mina roughly flipped another page of the magazine she was holding as she let out an exhausted breath.

"No, and before you scold me neither did Denki. I swear Katsuki is rubbing off on you."

At the sound of his name, your hand went up and touched the necklace he got for you. You only wore it in case you saw Katsuki today, you planned to wear it for the next two weeks, then you'd pretend you lost it. You weren't a necklace kind of person, and it wasn't even sentimental. Mina tossed her magazine down on the bed and a smile played on her face as she saw the necklace between your fingers.

"That's a cute necklace? Did Katsuki get it for you?"

"Yeah, he did."

You answer Mina's questions and inquiries as you let the gem on the necklace slip out of your fingers. You couldn't help but let your face slip into a frown. You couldn't help it, the more you thought about the necklace, the further you fell into dark thoughts. It wasn't even the fact that it wasn't sentimental like all of the other gifts he gave you, it was the fact he let some girl pick it out. You weren't a controlling person, not remotely. If Katsuki wanted female friends he could have them, he did have them. While he wouldn't call Mina a friend, she was. Mina was a girl you felt comfortable with, however, you had already had a girl in mind of who you thought helped him, a girl who wasn't Mina. A girl you didn't feel comfortable with, a girl you knew you shouldn't feel comfortable with.

"Well, it's very pretty, if I had a boyfriend who brought me gifts like that I'd be over the moon. So I take it things between you and Katsuki are good then?"

"I guess, um, I just... I think Katsuki is cheating on me."

You started off in a stutter before you bluntly spoke out your words. The moment your voice hits your ears you cringe at yourself and cross your arms. It was such a ridiculous thought. A horrendous and dark thought that, lately, kept crossing your mind more often than it should be crossing and occurring.

"What? Why?!"

"He's just acting so strange and weird."

You pulled yourself up into a cross-legged sitting position on Mina's bed to talk to her. Mina moved and adjusted her own body, completely immersed in what you were saying. You played with your hand as your next words came out.

"Whenever he's out late he always, and I mean always comes to my dorm before going to bed. He didn't come to my dorm last Friday, instead, he shows up at my dorm Saturday afternoon with flowers."

"Flowers are sweet and romantic though. The fact that he bought them for you means he cares."

"Katsuki always brings me a wide variety of flowers. Hydrangeas, snapdragons, hyacinth. It's out of the ordinary and romantic, but this time he bought roses. Not just any roses, yellow roses. What kind of statement is he trying to make with that one?! Everyone knows yellow roses mean friendship and red means romance. Even Denki knows that."

Mina scratched the back of her head nervously. She supposed she should have explained to Katsuki to get red roses. Katsuki was unaware of things in the romance department. Mina needed to try and dial things back before Katsuki found out what you're thinking.

"Katsuki isn't very romantically smart, you're his first serious romantic relationship."

"Yeah, but we've been dating for nearly a year, and that's not even it. We were studying yesterday, and you know how strict Katsuki is when he's studying, you've seen him with Eijirou. Katsuki was not strict at all, he made me stop studying to cuddle. To cuddle! Can you believe that?"

"Well... Maybe he's trying to be sweeter to you, I mean look at the necklace he got you, it's so romantic."

"Don't even get me started on the necklace! Katsuki always brings me sentimental and meaningful gifts. He buys me pencil led when I'm low, and notebooks when he sees my paper is getting down to the end, he buys me gloves when he notices mine are lost or have holes. They're stupid and meaningful and I love it."

You ran your fingers through your hair distressed and upset. Yanking your hands through a few new forming snarls from laying on the bed, practically pulling some hair strands out.

"The necklace isn't meaningful, it doesn't have sentiment, and he didn't even pick it out himself! Some girl picked it out for him."

"Why, didn't he say who? It doesn't mean anything. The girl is probably a friend."

"I think I already know who the girl is. It's some stupid brunette from Shiketsu High. They met during his supplementary lessons, they met again after their internship heroes started working together regularly. She saw him when we were walking to get coffee and she just had to stop and talk to him, she was obviously flirting with him."

You had never felt more awkward at that moment. She was blatantly flirting with him, whether she knew that you were together or not, you didn't know. You didn't expect Katsuki to talk about his relationship during his internship, he was supposed to be working, but you didn't trust her. You knew from that moment the brunette was going to be trouble. She was interested in your boyfriend and that spelled out trouble to you.

"'had a little help' he says, staking her claim on what's mine I say."

"[Y/N], I don't think katsuki would cheat on you. He wouldn't do that."

Mina felt completely nervous. She hadn't realized you and she had such different opinions on romance and what was wooing and not. Katsuki was romantic, he was doing nothing wrong, she just didn't see it from your point of view. Mina had worried Katsuki for nothing and gave bad romance advice which resulted in you worrying. Katsuki was going to kill her, she needed to fix this.

"[Y/N], Katsuki loves you a lot, don't worry, okay?"

"Okay, you're probably right, I'm thinking too much. I'm going back to my dorm, try to get some studying in before the test tomorrow."

Despite the pink girl's words you still didn't feel good. As you stood up and walked to her door, you still felt a rush of negative thoughts and emotions. You still felt winded and emotional. You still felt hurt and fearful of your relationship. You felt the same as you did when you walked into her dorm.  

You nervously tapped your leg up and down on the ground repeatedly as Mr. Ectoplasm and his copies passed out the scored math tests to the class. You supposed a quirk like that must be very useful as a teacher. You kept making little glances over at where Katsuki was sat and your heart clenched. You felt so ridiculous for suspecting he was cheating. You felt completely horrible. Mina was right, Katsuki loved you. Katsuki loved you and he would never cheat. The simple thought that he would was wrong, yet, this lingering feeling told you he was. 

Maybe you should talk to him about it. Maybe you should tell him and express your fears and worries. It was better to talk about things like this, it was better to express yourself rather than locking it up and away, where it could fester and damage your relationship. You looked back over at Katsuki, who caught your glace this time and smiled at you. The smile made you feel sick and guilty for feeling this way. You would tell him how you were feeling after class. The sooner it was out in the open the better. 

You turned back to your test sheet and frowned at the result. You got a forty. Forty. After all that studying you had received a forty. You wanted to be mad at Katsuki for not making you study harder, but you had studied with Izuku first hand. Maybe Ectoplasm would let you take a retest. Ectoplasm dismissed you all and you quickly folded up your test paper in half so no one could see your result as you exited. After you packed up your school bag you stood out in the hall and waited for Katsuki. 

The nerves in your stomach churned. You didn't want to tell Katsuki the negative thoughts that were running through you, you didn't want to tell him how you had dark thoughts and worries about him cheating, but you had to tell him. You had to put your thoughts and theories to rest. Katsuki came out in the hall with his own test papers in hand and you both began to walk to your next class. 

"What'd you score?"

"Got a ninety-two. You?"

"A forty."

You sighed as you clenched the paper in your hand. That was a D. Katsuki was on the fritz. He was trying to take Mina's advice. He wanted to be nice and softer to you like Mina told him he had to be, but he couldn't. You should've studied harder, he should've made you study harder. Katsuki gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to calm himself down before responding. 

"You'll do better next time!" 

"What is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

You looked at Katsuki like he grew two heads. This wasn't your boyfriend, and you slightly wondered if Toga had infiltrated UA. He was never kind like this, he wasn't a positive person. He was supposed to yell at you. Tell you to study better. Tell you you needed to get good scores if you were going to become a hero with him. 

"It's just a bad test score, not every score can be a baller."

"I failed my test, you're supposed to yell at me. Tell me I'm stupid, tell me to study more. Tell me anything but that fake positivity shit! You are not acting like yourself, are you cheating on me? Is this guilt? Are you guilty?"

"No! Fuck, no!"

Katsuki dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around you. That wasn't how you meant to tell him about the thoughts you were having. You wanted to tell him calmly and respectfully, you hadn't meant to flat out accuse him, your thoughts just need up tumbling out that way. Katsuki's own reassuring words came stumbling out in your ear as he tightly gripped you against him.  

"You are perfect and beautiful, and so important to me. I would never cheat on you, I would never fuck up what I have with you. Why would you think that? I don't wanna make you feel that fuckin' way."   

"I know that. I know you wouldn't, but you have been acting so weird and different." 

"I need to be nice or else I'm going to lose you. I got insecure, but shit, I should be. You are so perfect, and you deserve roses and jewelry and the world. You deserve someone who cuddles you instead of studying and who doesn't make you feel like they're cheating and fuck-" 

You pull out of Katsuki's tight grip and cup his cheeks. Your fingers skimmed over his skin tenderly as you stared up at his red eyes and noticed how watery they were. Your heart broke, you thought he was unfaithful but he was really just scared of losing you.

"I don't want you to be soft and nice. You already give me the world Katsuki. You make me study because you care about me. I don't want you to get me roses and Jewelry, I hate it, and I love the stupid little gifts you get me. You don't give me affection and cuddles, but you do other things, like waiting to walk me to class and making me food." 

"You don't want me to be nicer?"

"No! Everything you do is already perfect. Everything you do shows me you care about me in your own way. I love the way you are, I don't want you to change."

Katsuki pulled you back into his arms and pressed a rough kiss against your forehead. He was doing everything right. He was better than dumb Deku, and your test score was proof of that. He wasn't going to lose you, Denki and Mina were wrong. 

"Come to my dorm tonight, you need to study better dumbass."

It didn't matter that the whole class watched the exchange between you both. It didn't matter that Mina had screwed with your relationship and felt very relieved to have gotten off scot-free, for now at least. It didn't matter because all Katsuki cared about was the fact that he was a great boyfriend, the best. He didn't have to be softer, nicer. He didn't have to change, you liked it. You loved him, the way he was. That was all that mattered.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 2

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 7.2k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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A few paranormally uneventful days passed. Seohyun hadn't exactly opened up to the group of boys that she was now able to call friends, but she was slowly getting there. It was hard not to smile when one of them cracked a silly joke, and harder not to laugh when they had a battle of wits.

She was slowly getting used to her new school. She was past the stage of being a new kid and the students in her class had stopped giving her those looks. She was unnoticed, and she loved it.

Today, like every other morning, Seohyun got ready for school, tying her hair in a half ponytail, peeking out of the window to check if she should wear her glasses or cap today. She had to hide her eyes somehow, they always betrayed her. She didn't want anyone to think she liked to stare into the space. But then she shrugged and tossed her glasses in the bag, wearing her cap as she went to the kitchen.

Her mother was a very busy woman and she liked to spend almost all her day in her office. She was rarely home even if she had a day off anyway. So Seohyun just made herself some coffee, munching on some cookies as she waited for the coffee to become cool enough to drink.

"I still don't get why you let the housemaid go," Jiwoo popped out of nowhere and twirled around the kitchen.

"Well, I didn't entirely let her 'go'. She still comes by on the weekends, you already know that."

"But still! What's wrong with having food everyday?" Jiwoo pushed her dark red hair back as she tsk-ed at Seohyun.

"For one, I wanted to learn to cook, and the food she made was always too much for just me. I always had to throw it out or give it to someone before it went bad. Mom's never home to eat anyway."

"I actually hate your mom, no offence," Jiwoo looked at her and Seohyun shook her head, "I mean, what kind of a mother is she?"

"A woman married to her work with an abnormal child, I kind of understand why she's like this," Seohyun muttered.

"Nah, you're not abnormal. You're gifted. And you don't appreciate it enough."

"No offence, unnie, but ghosts are the company I'd rather not have," Seohyun rinsed her cup and placed it on the rack, taking her school bag and locking the door.

"What's wrong with me?" Jiwoo asked.

"You're one of the better ones, but only because you had temporary amnesia before you died and you still don't know who exactly you are and why you're a ghost!" Seohyun snorted at the weirdness of all this.

"You think I'd ever be able to recall? Or just be stuck with you forever?" Jiwoo asked.

"I'd rather you try to move around and find out who you are instead of making me look like I talk to myself."

"Ah, you pain me, child. It's all because you have new friends now and don't care about me anymore. Right, catto?"

The black cat, which Seohyun hadn't noticed earlier, meowed in response.

"And, here comes the pretty one," Jiwoo grinned and Seohyun looked in her direction to find San coming their way.

"Pretty one? Seriously?" Seohyun shook her head.

"I mean, they're all pretty, but I like this kid more-"

"Hey," San gave her a smile as he meowed to the cat, who gladly jumped in San's arm when he put them forward.

"This little-" Seohyun stopped, and San laughed. "She never comes when I ask!"

"She likes me more, it seems," San rubbed her forehead and she purred, and they walked in comfortable silence to school the rest of the way.

They almost reached the gates of the school but something Seohyun saw from the corner of her eye made her stop in her tracks.

It was a ghost, yet it was something else. It wasn't someone who had died recently for sure. The man, the ghost if you could call it that, was bitter.

"You okay?" San asked, looking in the direction Seohyun was looking in. To him, it seemed she was looking at a wall.

"Yeah, I-I'm okay. Why don't you go ahead? I'll be right back. I should take her too," Seohyun picked the cat from San's hand, "We don't want her roaming around the school and getting scared, do we now?"

San raised a suspicious brow at her, but nodded as he reluctantly went in.

The man tried approaching Seohyun first, but she motioned him to follow her and went to the backside of the school, where surely there would be very few people walking by at this time.

"State your business," Seohyun said, and the man actually looked taken aback, if his eyes could display some emotion.

Truth be told, Seohyun was always scared dealing with men ghosts and older ghosts in general. Since ghosts could touch her, they were as much of a threat to her as humans. And these old ghosts, the ones with skin that looked grey, almost as if the ghost had started decomposing too, were usually not in their right mind.

"I have waited decades to find the mediator," the man's eyes gleamed rather wickedly.

"Mediator?" Seohyun asked. A rather fancy term for someone who could see the dead. "And why did you have to wait decades?"

"Let's say the mediator supposed to sort my death out met with rather... unfortunate circumstances," the man cleared his throat but his voice was still hoarse as he said, "You have to come with me."

"Well, if you waited decades, can you wait a few more hours? I have school, and please do NOT disturb me during my class," Seohyun made sure her tone was polite as she said this, but the man grunted. Before he could try anything, she muttered an awkward bye and walked swiftly to the gates, letting the cat go. She didn't realize she'd been holding the cat for comfort.

San, who had just witnessed Seohyun talking to thin air from the other side of the road, sighed loudly as he walked slowly to the gates.

San hadn't meant to follow her, but he turned around after a few steps of walking to the building, hoping to offer to come along with her, but when he saw her stop in the middle of the road and look as if she was actually talking to someone, he paused. He knew he shouldn't, but he watched her. And he did not know what to make of it.

Was Seohyun crazy? Didn't look like it. If she was, she did a damn good job at hiding it. When San finally reached class, he saw Seohyun chatting with Jongho. Perfectly normal. Or was she?

San said nothing as he sat in his spot, but he felt her tap his shoulder. He turned around and she asked, "I thought you went to class, where were you roaming around?"

San stared at her light brown orbs, coming out of the trance when she blinked. "I just wanted to walk around a bit."

He saw her frown but then she nodded and went back to chatting with Jongho. San turned back in his seat, and throughout the classes, he kept wondering if that was the reason why she covered her face or eyes.

When school ended, Seohyun said she had to go somewhere and said bye. San made an excuse too and started to follow her. He was going to see for himself, what she was gonna do.

San knew it was impolite to do this. And he knew if she found out, she'd really be angry with him, maybe never talk to him again. This was supposed to be her secret for sure. She would probably never tell any one of them. He wasn't even sure what it was.

Seohyun led him to an abandoned warehouse, and he heard her say, "Why bring me here?"

She paused for a few second, looking around as if for help, and San ducked quickly behind the boxes before she could see her. He couldn't hear her now, but he did get bits about how it was creepy of 'him' to bring her to this place without warning her, and he didn't miss how she kept looking behind her, as if she was waiting for someone to appear or just didn't want to keep doing this.

Who was this 'him'? Her imaginary friend? A ghost? San shook his head, and got on his feet when he noticed her go inside the warehouse.

San crept up behind them, and couldn't believe what he saw.

The locked door somehow unlocked, somehow the chains fell and the door magically opened wide in front of her, without Seohyun having even moved a finger.

What was happening?

Seohyun was asked to come in the warehouse and she couldn't ignore the roaring of her gut that told her something was going to go really, really wrong. She had such a strong feeling some years ago too, and she had barely gotten away from her life then.

All her nerves screamed at her to run, anywhere, just not go in. Where was Jiwoo when she needed her? Seohyun was kind of furious how she was never there for her.

Seohyun watched the old man walk in, looking around, and before she entered, she turned her head once hoping she would see Jiwoo-

Instead, she felt her heart sink as she saw none other than San, attempting to hide as their eyes met.

"Come in now, don't keep me waiting," the man grumbled, and Seohyun shouted an okay to him before she looked at San, hoping to warn him with her eyes as she put a finger to her mouth, telling him not to make a sound and motioning him to stay where he was.

Seohyun went inside, her heart slamming against her chest. This wasn't supposed to happen. San must think she's crazy or worse. Her mind made a mental list of how many ways this could go wrong.

"I used to think mediators ran in the family. But the one who was supposed to help me, he did not have any offspring. I spent so many years in ignorance, not knowing that it was completely random. Just like god picking up a needle in the haystack."

"Cut to the chase. What do you want with me and why bring me here?"

"I have forgotten why I died. And I want to move on. But I can't because I don't remember why I am still here. Someone told me there were various other ways to move on... Let's say I had to try."

As soon as Seohyun saw the growing smirk on the man, she knew it was time to run the hell away. But several bottles came flying at her, and she barely dodged them as they crashed on the wall next to her.

"You don't have to do this! It's wrong! I help dead people move on, there must be a way other than stupid violence-"

But the man waved another hand and now the boxes came flying at her. She was grabbed by the arm and pulled against someone, and she sighed in both relief and horror as she saw it was San.

"Are you stupid! You'll get hurt!" She yelled at him. He just took her hand and ran towards the shelves, hoping to hide from whatever it was that sent flying objects in the air. He almost dragged her until he was sure he was quite away from whatever it was.

"What the hell is happening?" San asked through his teeth.

"Why did you even follow me? Are you stupid?"

"Who is it?" San's grip on her wrist tightened as his eyes searched around.

"It's a ghost, San. Do you believe me?" Seohyun asked, waiting for a snide remark.

"From what I've seen? Sure," San muttered, and Seohyun wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic.

"He's near. Let's move," Seohyun said, and this time, she grabbed San's hand as she led him through the various shelves that lined the warehouse, glad they weren't empty.

A blast shocked them, making them jump in the air as they realized the shelves were collapsing one by one.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Seohyun ran, San matching her pace and she ran her eyes around, finally finding a place to hide. It was a narrow passage between huge containers. Seohyun looked at her options. The man was blocking the entrance so now they could just hide and pray for help or... die. If that's the worst that was to come.

Seohyun dragged San with her to the narrow passage, both of them barely fitting in the small dark place. Now they were side to side but San's body was still half out, so Seohyun pulled him closer, until he was almost in front of him. Since the passage was so narrow and short, there wasn't much gap between them.

San was a bundle of nerves and all, his heart beating wildly. "What's going on-"

"Shh," Seohyun whispered, putting a hand on his mouth to shut him up, "I'll explain everything later, I promise."

San nodded, taking off her hand from his mouth but not leaving it. Seohyun was too busy concentrating on where the man was to notice it. He saw her wince, and she looked at San with apologetic eyes.

"If something happens to us, I'm sorry, San. I'll do my best to save you. The man-the ghost is after me. I don't know why," Seohyun sighed, and San squeezed her hand assuringly.

"I'm with you. Nothing will happen," he whispered, thinking he must sound stupid to say that. But it must have given her some sort of assurance. She put her head on San's chest, sighing again.

The two of them heard the sounds of things getting destroyed alright, Seohyun hearing the man as well, and Seohyun almost cried in relief as she heard Jiwoo whisper her name.

"I can teleport you, but what about him-"

"Either we both go, or we both stay," Seohyun said firmly. She wasn't going to leave him alone.

"Go where?" San asked. Seohyun told him her friend was here and she could help.

Jiwoo looked at Seohyun and a slow grin appeared on her face. "There is something I could try..."

"What?" Seohyun narrowed her eyes at Jiwoo.

"What if I teleport you, but you're still holding San? Would he come with us?"

"I don't know, unnie..." Seohyun trailed, but an idea stuck to her. "It's the same as when I have something with me right? A bag, a cap, something. But that's objects. What about actual humans?"

"Remember when we accidentally teleported our cat once? It was holding on to you and you had forgotten. What if this works?"

Seohyun bit her lip. It was worth a try. "If it doesn't work, promise me we'll come back to San right then."

"But your body can't handle too many teleportations-"

"Promise me," Seohyun insisted, and Jiwoo rolled her eyes as she nodded. "Hurry up, he's closer."

"San, listen to me carefully," Seohyun said. "You know what teleportation is, right?"

San wanted to ask her if now was really the time, but he said yes- from the movies, and she continued, "I'm gonna attempt to teleport you along with me. My friend is gonna do that. You have to trust me."

"No way," San muttered, sighing deeply.

"Yes, you were stupid and brave enough to follow me, so yes, we are teleporting. I've done it before, but I've never teleported someone... normal with me, so this might not work. So if I disappear, and you're here all alone, I promise you, San, that I'll be back within a minute, okay?"

"How am I supposed to make sense of all you're saying?" San's eyes were helpless.

"Just... trust me. I won't leave you alone. I promise. Now, I have to, er, hold you, so she can teleport us. Gotta make sure I take you with me..."

Seohyun heard Jiwoo snicker, and she passed her a death glare. San, tempted to roll his eyes, held her hands.

"I'm afraid I'll have to hold you tighter. You see, when we teleport, we tend to lose what we're not holding tightly..."

"Oh..." San left her hands, and Seohyun muttered 'here goes nothing' as she wrapped her arms around San's waist, surprised that it was so small.

"Hold me tightly, and no matter what, do not let me go, you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," San said as he bent down to place his chin on her shoulder and bring her closer. "This okay?"

"Yes," Seohyun realized she was holding her breath, so she said, "Take a deep breath, San."

San did so, and Jiwoo smirked a little, watching two scared children hug each other. She came forward, holding Seohyun only, and did her magic.

San felt his stomach twist and turn, saw a million colourful stars, almost got nauseous but his only comfort was Seohyun so he held her tighter and shut his eyes. He didn't open them again until he landed on hard ground, his back aching with the impact.

He opened his eyes and saw... nothing.

He wasn't sure if he was blind or not, but he looked down and saw Seohyun half on top of him, attempting to get up, and he realized he had his vision all right.

"Where the hell," Seohyun got up, "are we?"

"I guess your body could only attempt a half trip," Jiwoo said, and San instantly turned at the voice, making eye contact with the red haired girl.

"That's the ghost friend that teleported us?" San asked Seohyun.

"You can see her!?" Seohyun asked, and San looked at Jiwoo.

"I wasn't supposed to see her, was I?" He raised his brow, and Seohyun looked at Jiwoo.

"Hey, kid, nice to officially meet you," Jiwoo said, holding out a hand to him so he could stand up. San tried to take it, but his hand passed through Jiwoo's hand, and he gasped.

"I guess you can only see then," Seohyun bit her lip as she looked around. "Is this where ghosts come when they... move on?"

"That's where I come when I'm not on planet Earth," Jiwoo said, "It's like another plane, you could say, another dimension overlapping ours, except this one is for ghosts."

"What now? Should we try again?" Seohyun asked, coughing a bit.

"You should take a breather first. Your body can't handle it," Jiwoo nodded at her and Seohyun sat down on the ground, putting her head over her knees as she brought them closer, shivering a little. Jiwoo was right, something was happening to her. Like a cold coming to her.

"Is she okay?" San asked Jiwoo, and she shrugged. San ran his fingers through his hair as he looked around, finding no source of light that illuminated the area around them.

So Seohyun wasn't crazy. Somehow, though it made no sense, she could see ghosts, she could touch them. San looked at Jiwoo and opened his mouth to ask something, but then thought against it. Now was not the time.

"I know you have a lot of questions," Jiwoo commented, "Let's try to get out of here first before we have the talk."

"Has she... ever brought someone here?" San asked.

"This is the first time she came here too," Jiwoo said, "Usually when a ghost teleports her, it's quick and efficient. Much like you see in movies or books."

"We should get out of this place quick. I don't want him to come find us here," Seohyun said, getting up.

"Are you sure you're okay? Can you make it back?" Jiwoo asked.

"I have to," Seohyun said.

Jiwoo nodded, and Seohyun looked at San for permission. San came forward and they both held each other tight as Jiwoo attempted to teleport them again.

This time, they landed on soft grass, but the impact with which they did sent them rolling a bit. San's breath was knocked out of him and he coughed loudly, gasping for breath. As soon as he recovered, he looked for Seohyun-

Seohyun was bent rather awkwardly, and it looked like she wasn't moving. San and Jiwoo both rushed to her, straightening her body. Jiwoo checked if she was breathing.

"She is breathing. She must have collapsed from being tired, don't worry, it's happened before too," Jiwoo assured him.

San sighed, looking up at the sky, wondering what he had gotten himself into. He looked around, finding the place familiar.

"Is this... the park near our school?" San asked Jiwoo.

"Yes, I tried to teleport us as close to Seohyun's home as possible, but looks like we could only make it till here."

"What if someone had seen us appear out of thin air?"

Jiwoo laughed. "They'd probably run for their lives. You'd be aliens."

San smiled a little at that. That's exactly what he would have thought if he had seen Seohyun.

"So are you... Seohyun's friend?" San finally asked.

"You could say that. I'm older than her so she always calls me unnie, but I keep telling her to call me Jiwoo."

"Then I'll call you noona," San smiled, making Jiwoo grin.

"She helps ghosts move on. When someone dies and they have unfinished business that they just can't leave behind, they sometimes choose to become ghosts until they get done with that. Seohyun helps them do that."

"That must be hard..." San wondered if it was always as bad as this time.

"It is, but what happened today is not a common occurrence. The man she saw today, he's been dead for a good while and has forgotten his purpose here. I once heard the other ghosts talk about him too. Ghosts like that, you have to avoid them. They're bitter, and usually mean Seohyun harm."

"So now... I can see you, does that mean I'll be able to see other ghosts too?"

"You'll find out soon," Jiwoo said.

Seohyun woke up with a gasp, her eyes wide. Jiwoo helped her sit up, and Seohyun muttered 'water'. San quickly opened Seohyun's bag and fished out her bottle, which she drank hungrily from, some water spilling down her chin as well.

"Slow down, kid," Jiwoo patted her back. Seohyun emptied the whole bottle, wiping her chin, then felt something run down her nose.

"Nosebleed. Do you have tissues?" Jiwoo asked and Seohyun shrugged, looking upwards and holding her nose. Jiwoo searched through her bag but San took out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to Seohyun.

"Does this usually happen?" San asked.

"No... it's the first time," Jiwoo admitted. Seohyun nodded too. "When we accidentally teleported the cat with her, she became dehydrated, but that was it."

Seohyun wiped her nose, looking at Jiwoo and she gave her a thumbs up.

"I shouldn't have followed you..." San shook his head, "It's because of me that-"

"You shouldn't have, but I'm kind of glad you did. Jiwoo is unreliable as a ghost friend and who knows what would have happened to me if you were not there? I could have died," Seohyun said nonchalantly.

"HEY!" Jiwoo smacked her arm but Seohyun ignored her.

"But look at you-" San was cut by Seohyun putting her hand up and saying, "I need food, and I mean NOW."

A few minutes later, they were watching Seohyun hungrily gulp down noodles and fried chicken. San had stopped eating midway just to watch her eat with a speed he hadn't ever seen before.

"Are you sure you're even chewing?" He asked, and Seohyun glared at him.

"The food is not going anywhere, Seohyun, slow down," Jiwoo laughed, "seeing you eat like this is making me wish I could eat too."

"Okay, mom," Seohyun said, finally slowing down. They ate the rest of the food silently, then Seohyun decided she'd like some coffee. They decided to walk her home as she sipped on her coffee and answered San's questions.

"Have you ever told anyone?" San asked first.

"Never. My mom only knows because she's, well, my mom and it's weird when a little kid sees stuff nobody else does."

"And what has she done about this?" San wasn't sure if he should have asked this.

Seohyun sighed, "She tried to 'help' me, but then she decided avoiding me was the best way. So now she's married to her work."

"And your dad?"

"He's never been here in the first place."

"Oh..." San faltered, but saw Seohyun shrug. "You can ask me anything, San. You deserve an explanation. Don't hesitate."

"Why can you see ghosts?"

"I don't know that either," Seohyun smiled as she looked at the sky. "Born this way?"

"Would you have ever told us?" San asked. Seohyun stopped walking at that, and faced him.

"To be honest, I've never made friends, San, because of this reason. That someone would find out. They'd never believe me, they'd think I'm crazy. So I don't know if I would have told you guys, ever," Seohyun paused, "But you found out, and you witnessed everything. What do you think?"

San scratched his neck. "I think you're right. I don't think any of us would have believed you. We'd have dismissed it as a joke. But now that I did see everything... It's different now. I hope you understand that."

"You sure you don't want to, I don't know, ever talk to me and all?"

San smiled. "You think I'd abandon my friend just like that?"

Seohyun couldn't help but stare at San, his sharp eyes that grew warmer every time he smiled, how they slightly curved.

"I want you to know that if it was anyone of us, and they had seen what I had seen, they would have never abandoned you. We don't take our friendships lightly."

"That's... good to hear," Seohyun finally smiled. "Do you think they'd believe us if we tell them?"

"They'd need some convincing, but yes, they would. Do you want to tell them?"

"Not yet," Seohyun said, "When the time is right."

San nodded, and squeezed her hand. "If you're ever in danger, you tell me, okay? If you need anyone, or anything, you tell me, got it? You don't have to face this alone anymore."

Seohyun almost cried right there, but she held it back, squeezing his hand back and nodding. They walked a few minutes until she finally reached home.

"Thank you, San. For everything." Seohyun smiled at him, and this time it was a true smile. San was actually taken aback. It felt like she had truly smiled for the first time, unfiltered.

"Anytime," San managed to say, and watched her go in. He took a deep breath, trying to shake off the image of Seohyun smiling, but found himself smiling too.

Meanwhile, Seohyun collapsed as soon as she entered, and she allowed herself to cry, both happy and sad tears, happy that someone finally understood her, and sad that it hadn't happen earlier. Jiwoo sat down with her, silently rubbing her back.

----------------

Seohyun almost slept in the next day, only woken up for school when Jiwoo threw her off the bed for 'sleeping like a sloth'. She couldn't exactly blame her. Seohyun had been so tired that after crying her heart out, she'd only had the energy to change before she collapsed on her bed and slept without moving an inch.

"My whole body hurts like I did some major workout," Seohyun mumbled as she tried running towards school, but gave up. She'd just walk.

"I don't recall you having such after effects after a teleportation," Jiwoo wondered.

"When it's just me, I'm only drained a bit. Like running. But even when I took the cat accidentally, my head hurt a lot. This time it was a whole human."

"Maybe because they aren't meant to be there," Jiwoo shrugged, meowing at the cat who appeared out of nowhere as usual. "Sometimes I think you might have transferred this teleportation thing to your cat too."

"Except 'I' can't teleport. You ghosts can," Seohyun corrected. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't tried teleporting herself home from school. How cool would that have been?

Jiwoo picked the cat and quickly passed it to Seohyun so no one would witness a flying cat. Seohyun draped her over her shoulder so Jiwoo could play with her. As they were walking, they saw San standing in a corner. He waved, then joined them.

"Hi noona," he said, and Jiwoo tried poking San but her hand went through him.

"I guess you can still only see," Jiwoo shook her head, continuing to pet the cat.

"You can touch the cat? And she sees you?" San asked, curiously watching them.

"Ever since we accidentally teleported her, I can touch her. But I'm pretty sure she could see me before too. All cats can, I think."

"Interesting..."

"Were you... waiting for us or something?" Seohyun finally asked.

"I was. I couldn't sleep last night, truth be told. I kept thinking about what happened. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't freak out..."

"I'm more surprised about that," Seohyun admitted.

"Meanwhile Seohyun here slept as soon as she reached home and I had to wake her up for school too," Jiwoo flipped her hair dramatically. Seohyun scoffed at that.

"You must be very tired... Are you okay?" San asked.

Seohyun nodded, and before she could say something they heard someone calling their names. It was Wooyoung and Yeosang. They joined them, Wooyoung putting his arm over San's shoulder as he said, "You're early today. You usually come in last minute."

"I woke up early today," San said casually, his eyes darting towards Seohyun unconsciously. Yeosang noticed that, trying to stop the smile creeping on his mouth as he looked between Seohyun and San. Seohyun gave him a warning glare, one she made sure was strong enough.

As they waited for class to start, Seohyun was resting her head on the desk. She couldn't quite believe the fact that someone now knew who she was, and was not disgusted or freaked out by her. She couldn't stop wondering what the future would be like, what if this group of boys would really get her to warm up to them, and how they would react if they found out.

San turned around in his seat, a frown growing on his face as he noticed how tired she looked. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Just very, very tired," Seohyun sighed, lifting her head.

"What if the ghost-man comes here?" San asked.

"Oh. I'd totally forgotten about him..." Seohyun bit her lip, "Well, he knows better not to make a scene in front of people, so chances are he won't."

"Chances? That ghost was dangerous!" San hissed, "What if he does come here?"

"Jiwoo must be out on watch. She'd warn me." Seohyun said, and San looked a little relieved at that. "It's not like the ghost can hurt you, so don't worry."

San rolled his eyes. "I'm worried about you, stupid."

"Oh," Seohyun paused. "You don't have to. I'll be fine."

San tsk-ed at her, turning back in his seat. Seohyun stared at the back of his head. Yunho dragged his seat towards Seohyun as he said, "You both are getting along rather well."

"Well," Seohyun slumped back in her seat, "he keeps talking."

Yunho laughed at that, "He's been thinking of names for your cat too."

"I won't approve if I don't like it. He knows that, right?"

"I'll give a good name, don't worry," San turned back in his seat, having overheard the conversation.

"I don't have much expectations from you, to be honest," Seohyun said casually, tucking her hair behind her ear, "I think Jongho there could give a much better name. He looks like he actually uses his brain."

Yunho and San looked at each other and giggled at that. Her observation was true. Jongho was infamously known as the 'only braincell' of the group. Yunho told her that, which actually made her smile.

"See? I know how to spot the smart ones."

"Who do you think is the most dumb one out of us?" San asked, attempting to make puppy eyes so she won't pick him. Seohyun looked at each one of them slowly, then said, "I haven't talked to you all much, but Wooyoung looks like he doesn't really like to use his brain."

The pair of them laughed so loud at that, catching the rest of the boys' attention as Seohyun tried to shut them up. But they were in tears, slapping their thighs as they laughed.

"Can the both of you stop? San you're second dumbest, just so you know."

That just made them laugh harder. The boys slowly came to them, muttering how they wanted to know what was 'so funny that they were howling'.

"She thinks the smartest one of us is Jongho, and the dumbest is Wooyoung," Yunho finally explained.

Wooyoung was laughing at first until he realized and yelled "HEY!" Jongho giggled, looking satisfied.

"Your brain processing is just a bit slow, that's all. No offence," Seohyun muttered.

"I mean, she's not wrong..." Hongjoong made an impressed face.

"Where do I stand?" Mingi asked, "I'm the second smartest right?"

"From below, yes," Seohyun said, making them all laugh. They all insisted that she rank them, and then they'd tell her if she was right about this.

"I don't actually think you're dumb, okay? This is just a joke, don't take it seriously-"

"I know, we all know," Wooyoung assured her, smiling warmly, "carry on."

"...Okay," Seohyun hesitated a bit then started, "Hongjoong is smartest obviously but Jongho is quite smart too? He seems more mature. Then Yeosang or Seonghwa, San somewhere in the middle depending on how awake he is, not sure about Yunho, but Mingi and Wooyoung... well they're pretty close. Because they don't like using their brains..."

"Most of it is accurate," Hongjoong agreed, "Yunho is more lucky than smart."

"Ah.. must be nice to be god's favourite," Seohyun scoffed. "But hey, I like Mingi and Wooyoung. They make you all laugh. That's more important."

Mingi and Wooyoung clapped at that, finally approving.

------------

It was finally after school, when San insisted on accompanying her to her home so she would get there 'safe', that they encountered the old ghost right outside her house.

"Get behind me" San protectively pushed Seohyun behind her.

"I appreciate the gesture, San, but this won't work. Use your brain."

"Oh... Right," San scratched his head and Jiwoo, who had also been with them the entire time, stepped forward.

"We can talk this out like civil human beings and ghosts. Then you can decide if you really want to kill Seohyun."

"NOONA!" San shouted in disbelief but she dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

"Very touching, all this, but I agree, we can have a normal conversation," the old man said.

"How long have you been a ghost exactly?"

"So long that I have forgotten my purpose, girl," the ghost snickered. "I heard from some older ghosts that killing the mediator by our own hands would make us move on."

Seohyun saw San and Jiwoo both tense. "And you thought you'd check?"

The old man nodded. "The mediator before you... Some other ghost killed him. It was some sort of revenge. He was supposed to help me."

"I could help some other way, because killing me doesn't really sound like a solution to me... Like, think about it. It doesn't make sense."

"Are you sure you aren't saying that because you don't want to die yet?" The old man smirked.

"Oh please," Seohyun faked swagger, "If I had an option, I'd kill me too." San shook his head at her.

"Very well. I'll hear you out."

Seohyun explained that she knew an old shaman who helped ghosts with no purpose to move on. It took some convincing and death threats to Seohyun, but she finally made him realize that it might be his one and only option now, and that he should just 'stop being a pain and move the hell on'.

"If it turns out to be a scam, I promise I'll come for you, whether it helps me move on or not."

"Please do," Seohyun replied nonchalantly. The ghost signaled to Jiwoo and they disappeared.

San turned to see that Seohyun was now leaning against the wall, wiping sweat from her forehead as she sighed in relief. "Nice acting."

Seohyun looked at him once before drinking from her water bottle. She had noticed the disapproval in his voice. She stared at him when she was done, and he stared back for a good few seconds before he finally sighed loudly.

"How can you be so... stupid at times like these?"

"How was that stupid? I talked to him and poured sense into him. And it worked. I don't see the problem."

"Does your life mean nothing to you?" San asked.

"San, chill, it was just acting-"

"Those ghosts can touch you!" San was louder this time, making Seohyun flinch a little, "They can hurt you like any other human, hell, they can hurt you in worse ways than that! How can you be so relaxed when gambling with your life?!"

Seohyun watched as San ran a hand through his hair frustratingly, clearly holding himself back. His whole body was tense, his jaw was set and he was not having any of it.

"Are you done?" Seohyun asked, making sure it came out soft. San shook his head.

"I've been seeing ghosts my entire life. My mom took me to all sorts of people for help. You think I don't know how dangerous it is? I learned from the worst. And I'm old enough and experienced enough to know how to handle rogue ghosts like these. Trust me on that."

"I know you are, Seohyun," San admitted, "I just hate it when you talk about your life like it means nothing. Like you'd have no problem if something happened."

"Let's just say I haven't had something I'd like to live for yet," Seohyun said.

San locked eyes with her. "I'll make it change now."

"What?"

"There's so much to life. I know you haven't had the best life, but you have people you can rely on now. And I'll make sure you'll have something to live for."

"What do you live for?" Seohyun asked, curious.

San smiled. "My parents, my grandparents, my friends. And myself."

"Doesn't it... get too much? Living for all of them... must be hard. And boring."

"What's hard and boring is when I had nothing to live for," San said, "When life became repetitive, and I didn't really love anyone, including myself. But now... I have something to look forward to. And no matter if it gets hard, I'll have people to lean on. So ask yourself this, Seohyun. Is it hard living like me or is it hard living like you?"

San knew his words had crossed her, so he locked eyes with her for a second longer before he waved and left for home, leaving Seohyun wondering if she really had wasted all her life repelling people, and if it really had been a wise decision.

prev - next

[monsterrae1]

*tiptoes in* "Everyone is already thinking that we're dating" *scurries out*

Oh love this one, I'll give it my best and hope you like it!

*

"Dispatch to Station 118"

"Go a head dispatch" Eddie smiled a little, hearing Bobby's voice, even if it was over the coms felt familiar in a nice way.

"You're needed as back up on a fire on..." Eddie looked at his screen and repeated the address to them "the 136 is already there commanding the scene"

"Copy that Dispatcher Diaz, we're on our way"

Eddie took a deep breath nodded, it was his first day, he really didn't want to screw up.

"Dispatcher Diaz?" A familiar voice said, Eddie left his smile grow on his face.

"Go ahead Firefighter Buckley"

"Good luck on your first day, you got this"

"Thanks Buck"

-

"Firefighter Buckley, second door to your right, you should find a tool box there, see if you can use anything" Eddie said into the coms, hearing as Buck moved through the house following his instructions.

"Found it, hey Eds, now that you're here, I was thinking we could do the zoo this weekend? To celebrate Chris' report card" Eddie smiled, biting his lip.

"Not really the time Buck"

"Well, you didn't answer my text"

"The zoo sounds great, just remember we need to be at my abuelas for dinner"

"Boys? You can't to this at another time?"

"Sorry Bobby" They both answered and focused back on the emergency at hand.

-

"Evan Buckley I swear to God if you don't answer me right now..." The chair hit the cubicle behind Eddie as he stood up, eyes watching all the monitors and waiting for an update on Buck, who had gone back into an unstable building because he heard something, and now he wasn't answering his radio "Buck, c'mon, what am I gonna tell Chris" He said softly, ignoring the wetness pooling on his eyes.

Another 5 long minutes later, the radio came on, Buck telling them to prepare for transport of an open fracture and several third degree burns, Eddie focused back on his job and dispatched an extra unit for the transport, and taking a deep breath when the line went dead just as the entire time focused on the last victim.

After that call Eddie took 5. He made sure to text Buck to check in that he came out of that building fine himself, and also texting Hen to update him with any information Buck was gonna leave out of his typical "I'm doing fine Eds, just doing my job". He looked at his watch and sighted, 3 more hours until he could go home.

"You know" One of the others dispatchers said walking into the break room with him "We weren't sure why you transferred here, guess now we know"

"What you mean?" Eddie frowned, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Your boyfriend? Firefighter Buckley? We figured they made one of you transfer and you took one for the team"

"Oh" Eddie blushed a little "He's not... we're not..." Married? Together? "It's a little complicated" He finally settled on, they weren't together, but they were sort of raising a kid together, and they weren't married but they were family.

"Shit, sorry"

"No worries"

The rest of the shift went by with less tension, both Hen and Buck assured him that Buck was alright, aside from a few bruises, so he could relax. On his way back to his house he started to think about his conversation on the break room, the implication that everyone thought he and Buck were together, a lot of comments started to make sense.

In the 4 months he'd been at Metro Dispatch Eddie had been invited to a few cookouts and drinks after shifts, when he'd politely declined, he was told he was welcome to bring his family along, and he never gave it much of a thought about how they had pulled Buck in the family box, because that's what he was, but now thinking about it it made more sense for them to think that they were together, instead of just being weirdly attached best friends.

The jeep was parked outside of his house when he finally made it, Chris was probably already sleep, even by the time Buck arrived, but the lights were on in the kitchen and there was a shadow moving through the place, Eddie smiled and took his bag to finally make his way in.

"You know" He said walking into the kitchen, letting his eyes watch Buck and catalogue the visible bruises on his skin "Everyone at dispatch already thinks we're dating" He watched as Buck froze in place, nearly dropping the plates he was taking out of the cupboard

In a moment of bravery, he closed the distance between them, standing right behind Buck and caging his body in between his arms, taking the plates out of his hand and placing them in the counter, when Buck tried to move, Eddie took a step back, in case he wanted to leave, but Buck only turned around to face him, dropping his hands into Eddie's hips.

"Yeah?"

"Hmm" Eddie hummed, closing the space between them again, chest to chest, almost nose to nose "So, why aren't we?"

"You think you're ready for that?"

Eddie took a moment to think about it, he'd been working on a lot of stuff on therapy, one of them being able to accept the things he wanted for himself

"I do, you?"

A huge smile took over Buck's face, in a second moving his hands from Eddie's hips to cup his face gently.

"Just waiting for you eds"

Eddie smiled and finally, closed the space between them with a soft kiss.

[sw4tch]

I have many thoughts about my bday

Most of them have been caused by events surrounding my bday after all

First of all, the passage of time feels fake. I don't feel any different from what i did the day before.

But i think that's good. I haven't lost myself.

Two, i don't think i talked about it enough but one of my dearest friends sent me a microwave. An entire microwave, just because i was me and i had mentioned i was lacking one in this new place. I still can't believe it, i see it and i go "THIS IS A GIFT??? FOR ME??? IT WAS FOR ME AND NOW ITS MINE???"

It wasn't that it was a microwave, but rather that someone i adore, seems to adore me too, to the point of sending me such a huge gift.

And i couldn't be more happy about it.

Reminders that I'm loved by friends, reminders that somehow I've found amazing friends along the way.

Third, it feels so weird to be loved by people and having good friends you wish you were even closer with. My office pals threw me a small party and bought a huge cake for me. They gave me a gift. They all were happy for me.

It feels so weird for someone like me who spent the entirety of their life trapped in a box and convinced i was unlovable

Even though last year i had great and amazing friends, now having more friends and being celebrated by them still feels weird

I guess mostly bcus they're office friends and still a part of me believes they are my friends by obligation

But they're the sweetest of people. They really are.

I wonder when i will shake off that feeling of inadequacy.

Fourth, i spent my bday a bit... Sad?

Not miserable by any means, specially bcus i got to have breakfast with a friend

But i got bday messages and it was a bit overwhelming

I didn't want to touch my cellphone all day

I was scared to open the messages.

I don't know why, to be honest. I should have been happy.

But i guess it's been difficult lately to accept I've always been loved, that i got to forge friendships despite being trapped in a box, and that ultimately I am loved

I am loved

I am loved

I am loved

For being myself and nothing else

That's terrifying. It's terrifying.

So i spent most of the day holed up in my room and attending responsibilities i imposed myself.

Hiding away from the world, and yet enjoying being it in one year more.

The truth is, i am happy about my birthday.

Heck, i spent an amazing weekend to celebrate it with friends!

And yet, in the quietest moments i can't help but wonder how i made it out alive.

Kicking and scratching we made it out alive.

Bloody and bruised, we took one more step to stay alive.

It's hard to believe I'm still alive.

A friend that does witchy stuff gave me a tarot reading.

Truth is i am skeptical of any and all magics.

They're like the concept of God. Makes me think that if they're real, then the forces turned a blind eye to my suffering all along.

But still, in the moment of the reading, i believed, i believed in it so much because despite everything i am still naive with a naive heart.

He said something along the lines of:

"You have the power of creation.

And this next card tells me you need to come to terms with not having an abundance of material goods.

But this last card tells me that whatever you set your mind to, whatever thing you're struggling with- The outcome is clear.

You're going to win, you will be victorious"

And i want to believe it's true.

I'm gonna win. I'm gonna try. I'll never lose. I'll never die.

I'll never give up. I'll never give in.

Till i won't be abused.

He told me i could ask the cards a question.

I had to ask mentally, not outloud.

I wondered if i could bring my cats home to me.

The cards said Maybe.

What a hurtful answer.

And yet. And yet. And yet.

It's not a No.

Not like it would have stopped me.

But I'm still gonna try.

I have to try.

Here's to more years of Snaily of the future never giving up.

Have i told you how much i love you? That i love you so much? That whenever i think of your resilience, i feel so proud?

You were forged in the dark, and you could have become twisted and monstrous, as twisted and monstrous as those that hurt you

And yet, you still choose to be kind, and good, as much as you can.

And i love that about you.

And i will always love that about you.

When you feel lonely, remember how much i love you.

And how we will definitely fulfill our promise of happiness. For us, and only us.

So here's to a happy birthday, for the most beautiful enby in town ❤

Grandpa would have been proud.

Good night my love, good night my beloved

[heresathreebee]

That G-D Ring of Yours

High Fidelity’s Robyn Brooks X Female reader

Summary: You seek comfort from your neighbor Rob

Masterlist

There's probably gonna be a part 2

Word count: 2.5k words

Warning(s): +15 | implied cheating, internalized homophobia, heterosexism, author and Rob swearing, no hate to polyamorists but major hate to bad faith players, shameless self insert, no beta, barely edited, long as fuck I'm so sorry

Author's note: I'm having anxiety for no discernable reason and my brain has decided this is ideal fuel for a fic, so please enjoy. EDIT: ha ha yeah still anxious but we're doing stuff about it

-------------------------------------------------------

"-- And she just touched my hand by accident and I just felt this–  this spark between us…" 

It was so sweet how he was talking about it. Or at least it would be were this not your fiancé explaining how he had been seeing another person behind your back. Had you rushed into things with him? Gotten hitched after three months because of familial pressure to settle down and start your family? Quite possibly.

But it didn't make that stabbing in your gut hurt any less. 

You had been a little gung-ho from date number 1, but he had been right there with you the whole time. Date number 2 happened the following weekend and then you just kept seeing each other more and more until before you knew it you had been introduced to each other's extended families and announced your engagement on Valentine's Day. 

You started to suspect something was amiss on Sunday, when you were braiding your hair on the bed and he had gone to take a shower. He accidentally set his phone screen aside with a text chat still open. Thinking nothing of it (he had already told you he was talking to Mark about getting drinks tonight), you looked at the name and saw it belonged to a woman you had never heard of before. Your immediate reaction was 'she must be a new coworker or a cousin,' but then you glanced again and saw the text conversation mirrored the same kind of ‘sentiments’ he texts you. 

The dirt burned into your brain for eternity: 

You had looked away then. You were actually not going to say anything at all to him that night– had planned to bring it up after Tuesday dinner with your auntie's family, but something came up. It turns out that Jessabelle also frequented the same Starbucks as you (and she's your age, not a teen like you worried). You can't even find it in you to be mad at her since it seemed like she had no idea who you were when she showed you the picture of her date at a baseball game. You tried not to puke as you asked for her number and to send her that picture "for her contact profile." 

You hadn't heard a word your fiance had said since the beginning of the phone call and you cut him off with some excuse you barely remember. You tossed your phone carelessly onto the couch and laid back on the cushions in defeat. What now? 

You weren't really a drinker or a smoker, and you didn't exactly have friends who would be supportive right now. You could hear them now, your family too– asking you what you did wrong, telling you to just forgive him or how to get even, or simply saying 'well what do you expect? Boys will be boys.' 

Maybe… no, you definitely need to get this off your chest before you do something stupid like pretend to forget about it. You had a bad habit of that because you tend to fall fast and hard. Perhaps your neighbor could give you some advice. 

Thank the Lord for fire escapes. Rob lived on the floor beneath you, always playing something good from her huge collection of vinyl records. You've told her at least a hundred times before if she played nothing but Phil Collins for the rest of eternity, you could die happy. You crossed your fingers and hoped you weren't being weird or invading her privacy. 

Thankfully, she seemed to be expecting you. She even motioned that the latch was undone and waved you inside. Ok the second wine glass made your face grow hot. 

"I'm not interrupting am I?" 

Rob gave you a warm smile. "I could hear you pacing around your kitchen for about an hour. Was about to come and get you actually." 

She pressed the glass into your hand and you made an effort not to grimace. Rob liked her drinks cheap and strong and she never held back. You tried a sip just to be polite, and she snorted at the face you pulled. 

"That's right, you like that sweet stuff. What's it called again?" 

"Stella Rosa," you mumbled, grateful when she takes the glass back and hands you a water to replace it. 

"Favorite flavor," she asked looking at her phone. 

"Uh… the peach and the rosé. They're all pretty good, not gonna lie." 

"OK, take this, grab a blanket from the hall closet, and tell me what's going on." 

You curled up on Rob's couch and put your feet up. There were piles of records all over the place, empty beer cans and a pizza box or two on the coffee table. Your neighbor tapped away at her phone screen before silencing it and slipping it in her back pocket. She gave you a minute or two to speak up, sipping her drink like you two had all night. Which actually you did as you did not want to see your fiancé right now. 

You felt two fingers gently tap your forehead. "Come on, dreamer, tell me what's going on in that head of yours." 

You swallow the lump in your throat. "I feel a little over dramatic saying my life is about to fall apart." 

Rob raised her eyebrows at you. "Damn, OK." 

You rush to correct yourself– explain your weird sentiment in more detail but you end up just vomiting words until your voice is hoarse. 

"I mean– like– like it's not falling apart per say or whatever– I… the rest of my life is fine its just my relationship that's screwed. Which I guess I'm more worried about because it's gonna screw up all my other relationships for a while too– dang it, let me start over–" 

"Babe! Slow down. Breathe." Rob switched drinks with you and against your better judgement you took a sip. Oddly enough it did calm you down. "So… it's your fiancé, right? What did he do?" 

You stared at her trying to unscramble your thoughts. "He… I found out he was kind of... dating another person. After I found out, he tried to explain that he didn't think I would mind–" 

Rob barked, "let me guess: he didn't think you were exclusive? Pull the Main Chick, Side Chick schtick? Tried to claim 'polyamory' after he got caught?" 

Two and two clicked together at last. "Yeah… yeah, he did!," you scoffed, "and it's not like it didn't ever come up in conversation: we spent our third date talking out our, like, sexualities and fantasies and fetishes and shit. If he was polyamorous, wh- why wouldn't he have brought it up then?" 

"That is so fucked." 

You took a deeper draft of her wine, coughing before setting it aside. Up until now, you've been numb. Now there's this wave of anger boiling up to the surface and you hear yourself getting louder. Rob doesn't flinch but she does give you this look of empathy unlike anything you've seen before. 

"If he– if he would have just asked me, I would have told him it was fine. My family does shit like that all the time: nobody bats an eye! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, he wouldn't have been so freaking sneaky about it. He literally lied, Robyn!" 

You whipped around and for a brief moment you knew you looked crazy. "He said he was going out for drinks with his guy friend, but he was making plans to go to a baseball game with a girl I've never heard of! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, or if he 'thought I would understand,' then why would go out of his way to lie about who he was with?" 

Someone buzzed Rob's door and she left you on the couch momentarily, coming back quickly with two bottles of your favorite wine. "Damn girl, these are kinda bougie: Peach or Rosé?" 

"I--"you choked, "Robyn you didn't have to–" 

"Peach it is!" She unscrewed the caps and handed you the whole freaking bottle of white, downing the last of her merlot and getting a fresh glass for you. 

You felt a little guilty she had spent money on you. But then again it had been her choice. If she didn't want you there, Rob wouldn't have let you in in the first place. Maybe you were just a tinsy bit worried you shouldn't be here. 

You and Rob took a break from talking to put on music and get a little tipsy. It came much easier with the help of the Stella Rosa, though Rob initially complained it was 5.5%, she did get accustomed to the sweetness pretty fast, and after consuming half the bottle, realized it was a little easier to get carried away with a drink like this. She admitted it was her first time trying rosé and now she was hooked. Eventually you started talking again, just spilling your guts out with no filter anymore. 

"I really think I just hate myself," you said cuddling the cool glassware. "When I found out, I wasn't even thinking of it as a betrayal of my trust– it felt like I was trying to come to terms with it so I could continue with the relationship. Not because it would make me happy but because… I don't know… it's what everybody else wants me to do. They don't even know about it and I was fully prepared not to tell them even though they'd want me to marry him whether they knew or not." 

Rob barked a laugh of surprise. "Doh-K!" 

"What?" 

"Nothing, nothing…" she said, "keep going." 

You stared off into the middle distance and leaned into her side. She was a tiny bit warm despite her lithe figure. Made you want to throw your blanket over her shoulders and share your greater warmth. 

So you did (you're not great at acting out your desires but this is nice!)

"It's just easier," the words left your mouth unbidden, "I don't even know what that means, but it's true. I don't want to marry him anymore but I don't want to break it off. Not marrying Fiancé means disappointing my family. It means having to find an entire new man to marry sooner rather than later because I'm already 'behind' and lowering my already low expectations. 

"It's not gonna make me happy, but I just think it's easier to keep this wedding going because at least I won't have to find somebody new who might not be as good for me just because I didn't want him. Another man won't make me happy so there's no reason to drop him... except that I don't want him." 

Rob's brow furrowed. "Are you saying it's easier for you to please your family than it is to be happy?" 

"Yes? I– no, I– … I don't know," you sigh. "I guess you could say my priorities are a little… mismanaged." 

"Sure, you could say that." Rob wrapped her arms around your shoulders and you inhaled the scent of her soap and cigarettes. "What if you tried… like… not doing that anymore...? You just said you do whatever your family wants you to do. So, just like do what makes you happy for a change." 

It really does sound so simple the way she puts it, doesn't it? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're not dependent on them for money or security or happiness for that matter. So... why has your whole life been centered around pleasing them? 

"I think… I think I've never really sat down and thought about what makes me happy," you admitted. "I think it's just been that way forever and I might have been too scared to try anything else." 

Rob hummed. "Are you still scared now?" 

Are you? You look into her eyes and ask yourself a question that has never crossed your mind with such depth. You used to be scared– but what is it about your happiness that you are so afraid of? OK, let’s start a little simpler: what are things that make you happy? 

“I like…” you swallowed, trying to break down the barriers you’ve built years and years ago. “I like… coffee. I like… short skirts. I like… girls– I like… my job. I like… music. I think I’d enjoy camping, you know, some day…” 

Your words… these things seemed so arbitrary and trivial. But in your house, these things cause dissent. “My family has an opinion about everything. There’s no right way to live in all of their eyes, but I think I figured out a way to get past it. Keep my head down and do what’s expected of me. Graduate college, get a respectable job, find a man to marry, drop the job and become a mother. Just… don’t make waves. It seemed better because the cousins who didn’t or couldn’t… well they became the butt of every joke at the family dinner. Lisa had one miscarriage so she was a ‘failure’ and Don never dated girls so he was gay and that was ‘bad,’ but grandma Zelda did everything a good Christian woman could do and they still gossiped about her behind her back… 

“And I just… I just let their ignorance control me for my entire life.” God, you could cry right now, but somehow it just felt too good to say it outloud. “That.. that is so fucked.” 

Robyn snorted, and you turned to her as if you’d forgotten she was there. There it was again, that sympathy. Not pity, she did not burden you with tears of her own or try to be angry for you. She just listened and understood. You twisted the diamond encrusted ring on your finger and stared at her. You felt it, that feeling in your heart. No one else had given you that look, like she could really see you. 

“You’re not going back to Fiancé, are you?” Her question was equal parts worrisome and hopeful and you already knew the answer in your heart. 

“No.”

And that was it. Decision made. Actually easier than you'd thought. Maybe not down the road but it felt good for now. There's the telling your fiancé it's over, the moving out, the public announcement, the inevitable feeling of failure, your family, god, his family too. Untangling your lives would be long and hard. You're not sure if you have that level of commitment and motivation in you but fuck it. Problems for tomorrow.

You rest your head on Rob's shoulder and hope your not pushing any boundaries. She doesn't stop you though, in fact she snuggles you deeper into her. You get the feeling she's been here before though your not sure which side or how bad it was for her.

"I like you way more in the few times I've met you than any man I've ever dated," you heard yourself say. "I'm sure that means something but I'm too tired to decide anymore. No tonight at least."

Rob chuckled. "I like you too, sugar."

If you made it this far, hi 💛 appreciate you, leave me a comment! Or just comment "💛"

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

I'd Spend a Pretty Penny For You Any Day || Byeongkwan

Request: A fluff with Richboy! Byeongkwan from a.c.e?

Absolutely!! I made it a friends to lovers since I got a really cute idea for it! I hope you enjoy 💞 I have ideas for a part 2, so if you want a part 2 for the dinner party, if its requested I'll do it👀✨

Synopsis: Byeongkwan kept buying you gifts which left you oblivious too why until today.

Pairing: Rich Boy! Byeongkwan au x Female Reader

Warnings: none!! It's fluff

Gif credits to owner~

You and Byeongkwan had always been close, you became friends in highschool and just clicked and even after highschool stayed close. Whatever friend groups you had they'd become one since you where usually connected to the hip, Byeongkwan was definitely a rich boy he couldn't lie about that but he wasn't rude because of it though; he'd always pay for your lunch and get you gifts which confused you to why since he didn't buy gifts for other people and he'd never give you a solid answer. You also couldn't lie that'd you started to gain feelings for the boy, he was just so cute and charming which made your friendship a hassle at times when you really wanted to kiss him but you kept it in not wanting to ruin anything; today you're going to hangout with your friend group including Byeongkwan and where very excited for it. You all met up at a cafe it was a small group of people (only 6 people) so Byeongkwan opted to pay for everyone's drinks and food.

"you know I can order my own food and drink, I have the money you don't need to spoil me" you said with a laugh, everyone else already started ordering taking his offer gladly but you felt bad he was spending money on you when he didn't have too.

"it's fine go order, I'd spend a pretty penny on you any day." He said giving you a wink leaving you breathless, did that really just happen? Did Byeongkwan just flirt with you? Do you have a chance? A lot was going through your mind so you opted out on fighting back since your mind was in a trance.

"O-Okay." You said, mentally cursing yourself for stuttering as you started to have a light blush tint your cheeks. You ordered a green tea mocha and a pastry, saying thank you to Byeongkwan for paying and headed to the table with everyone else.

"Heyy y/n, Kwan leave you a blushing mess?? Does our precious y/n have a crush??" Chan said with a playful grin, he always thought there had to be some sort of connection there between you two but wasn't going to push into it. His words caused you to blush harder and you prayed Byeongkwan couldn't hear you all from the register. The cafe was cute and small so you didn't know what chances ther where of Byeongkwan hearing you so you just looked at Chan and mouthed yes, causing him and the rest of the boys to go crazy. Byeongkwan could hear everything from the register but couldn't hear your answer so when you went silent he got incredibly curious and hopeful, he got the necklace he bought you out of his pocket and smiled; he was planning to give this to you today and ask you to accompany him at a dinner party he had to go to this weekend since his parents wanted him to be there and he'd love to see you all dolled up with him to a dinner party, to look like a cute couple together but he was always never sure to ask if you'd be his, since he was scared of your answer. He paid for everyone's meals and headed to the table everyone was smiling and obviously trying to act like nothing happened, sparking curiosity on what he didn't hear while he wasn't sitting there; he took a seat directly in front of you. You where also as red as a tomato, which he found so adorable.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom." You said and Sehyoon winked at you as you got up and walked past Byeongkwan, causing Byeongkwan to become even more confused.

"Kwannie do you have a crush on y/n??" Sehyoon said, this time it was Byeongkwans turn to become red,, was he really that obvious??

"God am that obvious? In all honesty yes but I don't know if she'd ever like me back, I always get her gifts including this necklace in my pocket to try to throw hints but they go straight over her head" He said bringing out the little box with the necklace inside, causing everyone to grin once more, he didn't know you never went to the bathroom you just walked away in the direction of the bathroom but stopped till you where barely at ears distance to hear what was going on. You couldn't help but smile and mentally curse yourself for not realizing his gentle hints. You didn't know how to go about this now so you just decided to text him since you couldn't find a better idea to do.

Y/n: look behind you.

You sent the text, Byeongkwan's phone buzzed and he looked at it heart dropping; immediately turning around looking at you like a deer in head lights, his expression started to calm down once he saw the gentle smile on your face.

Y/n: come over here

Byeongkwan looked at his phone again and got up, bringing the necklace with him. While walking up to you both of you felt butterflies in your stomach, he stopped in front of you and you both just smiled like idiots not fully knowing what to say. Byeongkwan couldn't take the silence so he just went for it.

"So I'm guessing you heard that?" He said with a small laugh.

"Yeah I did,, didn't know I could feel like such a idiot for not realizing your small hints; no wonder you wouldn't answer why I always asked you why you spoiled me so much" you said laughing with him.

"So what does that make us? Would you be mine?" He said blushing an incredible amount.

"How could I ever say no?" You said smiling, taking his hand in yours.

"Would you do me the honer in coming with me to a dinner party this weekend? I got you this neckless for you that you could wear there or anytime honestly." He said not able to hide the grin on his face.

"it'd be my pleasure." You said, he grabbed the necklace from the box and put it on you, it looked absolutely gorgeous; once the necklace was in however your friends at the table who had been listening in the entire time started screaming victory cheers causing you both to laugh. You continued to hangout as a group but the mood between you and Byeongkwan changed, very excited for the weekend ahead.

[bgrobinson78]

Something New

Someone You Don't Know

Chapter Three, Part One

Gray planted himself on the sofa and kicked his feet on the coffee table. He'd managed to bag three wins on Mario Kart, severely pissing Jordan off. He'd been smiling the entire way back.

"Mum will kill you." He jumped and looked to his left. He'd only just realised his sister Dani was sat on the other couch. He took his feet of the table and slipped off his docs, throwing them into the hallway. "What's in the bag?" she asked peering over the comically large book of A-level Physics.

"Birthday presents," answered Gray taking out the three presents his friends had given him.

This was actually the first year that they'd gotten presents since they all got weekend jobs at Easter. Amy got him a nice set of drawing pencils and a brand new sketchpad; good thing too since his was almost full. Kieran got him a necklace with the Elder Scrolls dragon emblem for a pendant. Gray put it round his neck, fumbling with the fastener as he did so.

Lastly, Jordan splurged on a high-end Bluetooth speaker, probably with some help from his lawyer mother. He'd presented it with so much of his showman-like flair that Gray thought he'd put his back out. "I know how much you love music, so I got you something to help," he said sounding really proud of himself. Rightfully so, Gray thought.

Dani peered over her physics textbook and grunted at the sight of the speaker. "Your friends really know you." The slightest hint of a smoke pulled at the corners of her mouth. "You should send me a text, you know she'll check."

Gray gave his sister a puzzled look. What the hell is she talking about, he thought. When she peered back over the textbook it dawned on him. He hadn't texted her to tell her he was on his way. He knew she was right, their mum would check, both of their phones.

He pulled his phone out and typed out a generic 'home soon' text.

As soon the familiar ping of her phone rang out she immediately hopped on and began typing.

"Cool, now you're covered," She said diving back into her textbook. Gray sat back and sighed. Still reeling from the excitement of the day.

He immediately blushed as soon as the image of the shirtless Adam popped into his head. Dani noticed, saying "See any hot dudes?" Gray looked over and she was smiling slyly.

"What? Err - no!" He said, blushing harder.

"Come on, tell me."

He considered it. Dani was always the supportive big sister. Somehow, she knew about him being gay before even he did, 'big sisters just know these things' she'd said. Gray knew she'd understand but he didn't want to bring another straight boy into his life, not after last time.

"There was one guy," he said reluctantly. "We talked for a bit, but he was with his family so I didn't see him long."

"This the same guy from yesterday?"

"Yeah." Gray wished the sofa would close up around him, drag him out of this conversation.

Dani peered back over her book and looked at him. She studied him for a moment. She seemed to recognise his mood. "Hm."

"What does 'Hm' mean?"

"Nothing just... Hm."

The room turned quiet. Gray got the feeling she was judging him. He knew she never would but the feeling was burning his chest. He kicked his feet and jumped up from the couch. "I'm gonna test my new speaker." He picked it up from the coffee table and headed for the door.

Dani sat in the now empty room, her entire body reeling from the regret. She dropped the book on her lap and buried her face in her hands. She took out her phone and started typing 'Sorry' in the chat box. Her thumb hovered over send. Gray didn't need an unrequited crush. He didn't need to be interrogated by his sister. She considered the gesture of an apology text, before deleting the message.

She winced as Fleetwood Mac's 'Go Your Own Way' reverberated down the stairs and filled the living room. She sighed and took out her own set of ear buds. She picked back up the physics book and found her place.

One hour later she was disturbed by her father tapping her on the knee. She took out her ear buds and heard that Gray was still blasting music. She looked at the door and saw June screaming up the stairs, "GRAYSON!! GET DOWNSTAIRS NOW!!"

Dani gave Marcus an unimpressed look, he gave one back that said 'Sorry, but I'm not standing by on my own'. She grumbled and put her ear buds away, turning to sit properly on the couch. She glared at her mum, wishing that just once she'd go easy on Gray.

Gray knew exactly what he had to do to annoy his mother. She had this perfectionist habit of waiting to tell him off until he was right in front of her. He plodded down the stairs, taking each step as slow as humanly possible. He watched her face turn red with each sarcastic footfall.

When he finally reached the bottom, she looked at him directly in the eyes. They were both the same height, so Gray had no advantage to avoid eye contact. Her eyes were filled with anger. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of the scream he was expecting she, as calmly as possible, said, "What did we say about loud music?"

Gray thought of how to respond. Should he play along, or poke the bear? Why would I give her the satisfaction, he thought. "Keep it down."

"Yes! So why were you blasting music at 7pm?!"

"I was testing my speaker."

"Speaker?"

"Birthday present from Jordan."

June's anger seemed to flare at this. She narrowed her eyes. Gray didn't react. He stood there and watched as she went on.

"Oh so that makes it okay?" There was the scream he was waiting for. He knew this was just the beginning. She would go on to say something that would set him off. Question was, when? He kept looking back anticipating the remark that would turn parental discipline into a screaming match. "You think you get to turn this house into a mosh pit because you got a present from one of your weird little friends?"

Dani gasped and the entire room seemed to go cold. Gray looked at his mother, his steely disobedience turning to blind rage.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 10/8/21 - NO TIME TO DIE, THE RESCUE, MASS, LAMB, NIGHTSTREAM, and More

It's a very special week here at the Weekend Warrior because October 10 will be my 20th (!!) anniversary as a film critic and the 20th anniversary of me doing a weekly movie preview column, mostly about box office but also with reviews and other stuff. Pretty cool, huh? (I’m celebrating this occasion by writing this column to the music of Public Enemy’s Apocalypse 91 which is 30 years old this month.)

Of course, this column wasn't called The Weekend Warrior in the early days, as I was instead doing "Half-Assed Analysis” at a long-gone Hollywood Stock Exchange fan site called HSJ.org. But then, it was a conversation with Mirko P. from ComingSoon.net (R.I.P.) that got me on the track of changing the name to "The Weekend Warrior" even though it would be a year before I would actually bring it to ComingSoon for 12 ½ wonderful years. The column has gone through a number of transformations and evolutions and iterations over the years, sometimes it being called something different just 'cause I didn't want to go through the ordeal of explaining to one of my bosses at a website that "The Weekend Warrior” is my own, and if I leave, it goes with me.

Anyway, I have taken a few weeks off over the years, particularly earlier this year when it just didn't seem a good time to be trying to predict box office, and I was starting to get burnt out on reviews. Now, the column is kind of back to being mostly about box office but with a few reviews, which is how I've always intended it.

Who knows if I'm going to continue this on that much longer, because honestly, there's no money and very little reward, and it does take a lot of time to write this up each week, especially with all the work I have to do for Below the Line. Anyway, for now, I'm going to keep it going, and we'll see how it goes. But Happy 20th Anniversary to me, and I can promise you… there won't be 20 more. NO FUCKING WAY.

Before we get to this week’s theatrical releases, I feel the need to mention the first of a bunch of October horror film festivals, as NIGHTSTREAM will begin on Thursday and run through Oct. 13. This is an amazing streaming horror/genre film festival that was instituted last year by four festivals, the Boston Underground Film Festival, the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival, the North Bend Film Festival, and the Overlook Film Festival when all four were cancelled due to COVID. Some of these are still happening this year as physical in-person festivals but Nighstream continues on. Some of the guests at this year’s Nightstream are The Green Knight director David Lowery; Akela Cooper, who wrote the recent James Wan horror film, Malignant; horror and special make-up FX legend Greg Nicotero, who is also the showrunner on the Creepshow anthology series, and more.

There are so many movies and events going on in the week of Nightstream but some of the highlights include the World Premiere of Jefferson Moneo’s Cosmic Dawn, Scott Friend’s feature debut, To the Moon, and the Virtual Premiere of Scott Barber’s doc, This is Gwar, as well as much more.

You can see the full list of movies here and learn how to get a pass at the official site.

Let’s get to some other movies hitting theaters...

Obviously, the big release of the weekend and maybe the month is the 25th James Bond movie, NO TIME TO DIE (MGM), once again starring Daniel Craig in his final outing as 007, his fifth movie in a run that started with Casino Royale in 2006 and 15 years later, it’s coming to an end.

Obviously, this being Craig’s last stint as Bond is a big draw for the movie, but there are other interesting things to note First, it’s directed by True Detective’s Emmy-winning director Cary Joji Fukunaga, who is making his biggest budget movie to date, having started with smaller films like Sin Nombre and Jane Eyre, and then getting more attention for his festival favorite, Beast of No Nations, starring Idris Elba, who for a while, people seemed to want to play the NEXT Bond.

Much of Bond’s colleagues and friends from past movies are back including Naomi Harris as Moneypenny, Ralph Fiennes as M, Ben Whishaw as Q, but it also brings back Jeffrey Wright, who was introduced as Felix Leitner in Craig’s first film, Casino Royale, and also a few people from the last Bond movie, Spectre, which wasn’t received as well as the previous one, Skyfall. (More on those things in a bit.) Christoph Waltz played Blofeld in Spectre (for better or worse), and he’s back, as is Léa Seydoux, who played Bond's love interest, and actually she continues said role but brings more to the plot.

The new cast is pretty significant, starting with Oscar winner Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody) as the new arch-villain, Safin, and actually, there’s also a new 007 in Lashana Lynch, who replaced Bond after he retired from MI6. There’s another “Bond Girl” (if you don’t mind the outdated trope) in Ana de Armas, who previously starred with Craig in Rian Johnson’s Knives Out, which feels like it was made 500 years ago but actually has a sequel shooting as we speak. In fact, Armas seems to be getting the best notices from everyone who writes about the movie, even though her section probably isn’t more than 15 minutes long.

I’m not going to say more about the plot. You either don’t need to know it in advance cause you’re seeing it anyway or you don’t WANT to know anything, and good for MGM for being able to keep the plot and lots of stuff secret despite the movie being delayed for 18 months due to COVID.

That’s right. No Time to Die was probably one of the first movies delayed due to COVID, and it definitely wasn’t the last, but MGM (and EON Productions) really stuck to their guns, and didn’t allow a streamer to come forward with millions and millions of dollars to put James Bond on streaming. (Granted, Amazon did come forward and ended up buying MGM outright earlier this year, and we’ve yet to see how and when that will come to fruition. As far as I know, Amazon has nothing to do with MGM’s 2021 releases, of which there are a few still to come.)

Actually, the fact that MGM is releasing this one on its own is an interesting point in itself, because it’s been almost 20 years since the studio has done that with Pierce Brosnan’s last Bond film, Die Another Day. In the time since then, MGM has been co-distributing its films with other studios until fairly recently -- the last four Bond movies were released by Sony Pictures. I’m not gonna throw shade at MGM, because they’ve been doing a fantastic job with No Time To Die, essentially marketing the movie once back in early 2020 and then again for its final release spot this Friday. In between, the movie has moved a number of times as COVID just kept ambushing its planned release date. Any weaker studio (like, say Sony) would have just sold the movie off (as Sony has done many times over the past 18 months until finally having a theatrical hit with Venom). Interesting how that works out, huh? MGM took over Bond, and now it’s releasing the new Bond a week after Sony’s biggest 2021 hit, essentially killing its chances at having a decent second weekend.

Others are seeing how well Venom did and are assuming that the box office is back, and that Bond can do even BIGGER numbers, but you need to take a few things into account, including something called REALITY. And it comes from the wonderful box office archive site, The-Numbers.com, which I have been using for those 20 years mentioned above.

Up until Daniel Craig took over the role, the biggest opening for a Bond movie (not accounting for inflation) was Brosnan’s Die Another Day with $47 million. Casino Royale opened with just $40 million in 2006, but it proved to have significant holiday legs as more people discovered it and decided that the new direction of tougher and grittier and more violent action was for them. It made $167 million domestically and $594 million globally. A few years later, Quantum of Solace had a much bigger opening of $67.5 million but made almost the exact same amount domestically -- the reason? People didn’t like it as much as Casino Royale, so it was more frontloaded.

Oscar-winning filmmaker Sam Mendes took over the 50th anniversary Bond movie, Skyfall, four years later, and that was generally as well received as Casino Royale, so that it set a new opening record for the franchise with $88.3 million and OVER A BILLION worldwide. Woo! Three years later, Spectre was going to introduce two classic Bond villains, Blofeld and Jaws (played by David Bautista) but it once again wasn't received that well, and it opened lower with $70 million and “only” made $200 million domestically vs. the $300 million of Skyfall. It still made over $879 million globally, but a final movie for Craig was always going to happen.

Now I’m going to talk about why I don’t think No Time to Die is going to break the opening record set by Skyfall, and believe it or not, it's not because of COVID. This is the thing. Bond clearly peaked with Skyfall and then it dropped down with Spectre, and that movie wasn't that well-received either by critics or fans with 63% from the former on Rotten Tomatoes and 61% from audiences. That is basically Quantum of Solace numbers and down from Skyfall's 92% and 86%. You take that disappointment and then you add six years, which is how long it's been between Bond movies, and you have a lot fewer people interested in shelling out money to see another Daniel Craig movie. There's no way around the fact that people are just burnt out on Craig and maybe Bond himself, and it really would take a huge wave of positive reviews to get them back.

Also, and unlike Venom, Bond is about as white as you can get in terms of a fanbase. I'm sure there's some African-Americans and LatinX movie fans who enjoy the action and stuff, but do you think you would see the entire James Bond collection in their Bluray libraries? I'm sure there are some, but they may be outliers, because Bond is the kind of Baby Boomer anti-woke un-PC franchise that the Millennials have been warning you about for years. It also doesn't have as big a female fanbase as other franchises (like Marvel) so that's another audience that might not rush out to see the movie. Sure, some changes have been made, including additions like Lashana Lynch or as she's better known, "WHO?!?!?", and de Armas, as well, but it's still the same old James Bond. Fukunaga just didn't try hard enough to make the necessary changes, or maybe he wasn't allowed to, because EON's Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. WIlson still hold very tight reins on the Bond films. Whatever has been done may not just be enough and who knows how many will want to see No Time to Die just to give Craig a glorious send-off? There's also the matter of No Time to Die being almost an hour longer than Venom -- longer run time, less screenings, less money per screen. It's simple math.

I already reviewed the movie for Below the Line -- I liked it but had some issues -- and it’s sitting pretty at 83% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a good sign for getting the interest of fans to return to theaters for a movie that won’t be available on streaming on VOD for quite some time, I’d imagine.

I’m feeling generally bullish (or is it bearish?) on No Time To Die, especially with how much better Venom: Let There Be Carnage did last weekend compared to my prediction (OUCH!) but I’m also keeping track of that REALITY I mentioned before. Not just COVID on this one, but also opening the movie earlier overseas where the movie can be easily bootlegged and put on piracy sites for people who just don’t want to chance it at movie theaters yet. (I’m going to be writing more about this soon, but I have seen probably 100 movies or more in theaters since they reopened in NYC, and I get tested regularly. I have not tested positive for COVID once.)

The movie has done very well overseas, scoring $121.3 million in its first weekend, but I still don’t think it will open over $80 million in North America. But I do think it will be close, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it opens somewhere between $75 and 80 million.

Without knowing if any of the movies below might be going wider (but highly doubting it), here’s what the weekend Top 10 might look like. Actually, let’s make that the top 8 cause last week’s #9 and 10 were so odd and I have no idea if anything is expanding wider, as I write this:

1. No Time to Die (MGM) - $76.5 million N/A

2. Venom: Let There Be Carnage (Sony) - $31.5 million -65%

3. The Addams Family II (MGM/UA Releasing) - $9.3 million -45%

4. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $ 3.5 million -43%

5. The Many Saints of Newark (New Line/WB) - $2.1 million -55%

6. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $1.3 million -45%

7. Dear Evan Hansen (Universal) - $1.1 million -57%

8. Candyman (Universal) - $700,000 -47%

I think there are just way too many great movies to pick just one "Chosen One,” but since I probably should decide, I'm going with Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi's new documentary THE RESCUE (National Geographic). You may remember Jimmy and Chai from when they won the Oscar for Free Solo, and their latest is just as good. The rescue in the title refers to the 2018 rescue of an 11-kid Thai soccer team called the Wild Boars and their coach when they became trapped in the Tham Luang caves in Northern Thailand, as the annual monsoon season hits early, flooding the caves in which they’re exploring.

To fully understand how they got trapped, you have to have some idea of the structure of this underground cave system, and this film does a great job explaining how the monsoons create flooding in the caves and how much harder it is to get someone out of them when the rain just won’t stop. Two British cave divers, John Volanthen and Richard Standton, are called in to survey the situation and figure out if there’s a way to get the dozen trapped out alive, as time keeps passing until it seems like those kids are trapped without food longer than any human can survive. Seemingly, thousands of locals and foreigners come to the caves in hopes of helping, whether it’s trying to pump out water or dig new tunnels to try to find where the kids are trapped (which is a difficult task in itself).

There’s a good chance you were watching the news and you know the results of this elaborate and daring cave diving rescue, but you definitely don’t know how the plan was developed and pulled off until you actually watch it as it’s taking place. The underwater and cavern footage of the kids and their saviors is absolutely second to none, and it’s hard not to get emotional in the way Chin and Vasarhleyi assemble the footage with the music.

The Rescue is an amazing movie, maybe as good as the duo’s previous one, Free Solo, and it may be the best recapturing/documentation of an important news event that I’ve seen in recent memory.

I was seriously close to having multiple "Chosen Ones” this week, because there are a few other very good movies, including Fran Kranz’s directorial debut MASS (Bleecker Street), which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, and deservedly received mass praise and stellar reviews. I don't want to say too much about the movie, because its emotional power may lay in not knowing too much about it in advance. The simplest plot is that it involves two couples meeting in the room of a church to have an important face-to-face about a difficult subject, one that needs resolution and absolution from both parties. If you like great writing and amazing performances, than the work of Reed Birney and Anne Dowd (as one couple) and Jason Isaacs and Martha Plympton (as the other) will make this movie a can't miss.

Again, without getting too deep into what the couples discuss, Mass is written and directed similar to one might do a 90-minue one-act play, but it begins with us seeing the people who work at the church trying to set up the room where this eventful tete a tete will take place. It’s surprisingly witty and even elicits a few laughs from Breeda Wool, who is so nervous and awkward about the meeting that’s about to happen.

When the two couples arrives, that’s where we really get into it, but it still starts out slow, a re-aquaintance phase between the two couples, who clearly have a difficult past, try to get through the niceties before getting into the serious conversation at hand. And here is where I’m gonna put a HUGE SPOILER IN HERE FOR THE NEXT PARAGRAPH.

As with so many movies, Mass deals with gun violence and the survivors of the types of school shootings we’ve seen far too many times in the last two decades. Isaacs and Plympton’s son was killed by the other couple’s son, who turned the gun on himself. It creates this dynamic where both couples have lost a son they loved, but Dowd and Birney are put in a spot where they have to try to explain their son’s behavior and if they saw that he was capable of such violence before the shooting took place.

The actors are all terrific, and while you might think a dialogue-heavy movie with four actors sitting at a table might not do much for you… well, first of all, you can go see No Time to Die if that’s more your speed … but Kranz’s direction is more than just getting these emotional performances out of his actors but also capturing it on film and editing it to best effect. There’s even an imperfection to the camera work, sometimes focusing on one actor while another is talking, that makes this long conversation feel even more authentic, as if you’re a fly on the wall in that room.

Again, the writing and performances and direction of Mass makes it one of the most powerful dramatic works this year. I’d love to see any of the four main actors get awards attention, but especially Dowd and Isaacs, who have been so deserving of awards love for a very, very long time.

Icelandic filmmaker Valdimar Jóhansson's LAMB (A24) is a very different movie, this one starring Noomi Rapace and Hilmir Snær Guðnason as Maria and Ingvar, a couple living on a sheep farm (or rather, a lamb farm -- I honestly don't know the difference) who make an incredible discovery when a lamb gives birth to a child they decide to raise as their own. Invar's brother Pétur is not only not impressed but he thinks they’ve gone crazy, but there’s a lot of far more nefarious things going on in and around their remote and isolated farm.

This is a really fascinating film, one that’s fairly subdued but Johansson and his cinematographer (Eli Arenson) beautifully capture the vast landscapes of Iceland and gives us a real idea of how remote and isolated the farm where it mostly takes place is. He also does a great job building on the mystery of this child and the tension that surrounds where it came from, and yet, I’m not sure I’d consider Lamb to be horror, even if A24 is maybe marketing it in that direction. Really, it’s more magical fantasy mixed with character drama, and Rapace is just great as always, really impressing me with her skills delivering baby animals and driving a tractor.

If you dig a bit deeper, you’ll discover that Jóhansson wrote the screenplay with one “Sjón,” an author who has contributed to Lars von Trier's Dancer in the Dark (one of my favorite musical movies) and also wrote The Northman, Robert Eggers next movie.

This is a terrific debut by Jóhansson -- I have an interview with the director over at Below the Line, too -- and it will be highly interesting to see where he goes from here.

I was hoping to watch and review SOUTH OF HEAVEN (RLJEfilms), the new movie from Aharon Keshales, the co-director of the fantastic Israeli thriller, Big Bad Wolves, which stars Jason Sudeikis, Evangeline Lilly, Mike Colter, and Shea Whigham, but I fell foul of a lousy screener and just didn't have tie to watch it before writing this week's column. Sudeikis plays Jimmy, a convict who has served 12 years for armed robbery who gets early parole, and he swears to give his childhood love Annie (Lilly), who is dying from cancer, the best final year of her life.

I also didn't get a chance to watch Russian filmmaker Evgeny Ruman's comedy GOLDEN VOICES (Music Box Films), which opens in New York and L.A. this weekend. It stars Maria Belkin and Vladimir Friedman as Raya and Victor, the Soviet Union’s popular film dubbers who have been translating film classics into Russian for decades. When the country collapses in 1990, the Jewish couple decides to move to Israel in hopes of finding employment. When she answers a help wanted ad looking for “pleasant voices,” she ends up working as a phone sex operator catering to the Russian community in Israel while he falls in with black market film pirates.

I also just haven't gotten around to JUSTIN BIEBER: OUR WORLD (Amazon), directed by Michael D. Ratner, which seems like the fourth or fifth documentary about the global superstar, this one that goes into the making of his 2020 New Year's Eve concert after a three-year hiatus atop the Beverly Hills Hilton for 240 invited guests and millions via livestream. It will stream on Amazon Prime Video this Friday.

A couple horror movies streaming this week are THERE’S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE (Netflix), the new movie from Patrick Brice (Creep), which hits Netflix and involves a masked assailant targetting a high school graduating class to expose the darkest secret of each victim, forcing a group of misfits to band together to stop the killings.

Shudder gets V/H/S 94 (Shudder), the latest anthology horror movie made up of five installments, directed by Simon Barrett, Chloe Okuno, Ryan Prows, Jennifer Reeder, and Timo Tjahjanto. I haven't watched it yet but that's quite a rogue's gallery of horror/genre filmmakers there.

Streaming on Amazon Prime Video are the next two installments of this year's batch of Welcome to the Blumhouse movies, Axelle Carolyn's The Manor, an eerie tale set in a retirement home and starring the legendary Barbara Hershey, and Ryan Zarazoga’s Madres about a young Mexican-American couple having their first child in ‘70s California where he’s sent to work on a farm where the wife finds a talisman and a box with belongings of the former resident. Both of them debut on Amazon Prime Video this Friday, too. Also, you can read my interview with Ms. Carolyn over at Below the Line.

Other movies that just didn't fit into my schedule this week include:

ASCENSION (MTV Documentary Films) VENGEANCE IS MINE (Vertical) PHARMA BRO (1091) KNOCKING (Yellow Veil Pictures)

Next week’s wide release is David Gordon Green’s horror sequel, HALLOWEEN KILLS!