#i didn’t have to worry about paying my bills no matter what my real work looked like and now I do and it’s just

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

Okay like I know I should not have grown reliant on my Etsy shop but fucking hell I was making $2k+/month in net profit and it is dogshit total DOGSHIT for that to literally have evaporate overnight because they have just totally shadowbanned me probably for filing too many DMCA’s against people who steal my stuff

[little-moonbeam-666]

Christmas Shenanigans - Modern!Osferth

After several weeks of writing, it’s finally here! 15.4k words!!!!!! I may have went overboard with this!!!! Modern Osferth has made his appearance! Thank you so much to @dothrckis for giving me the many ideas that formed this masterpiece!!! Everyone, enjoy!

Warnings: SMUT, rough sex, fingering, dry humping, mutual masturbation, oral (both), almost getting caught, actually getting caught, talks of prostitution, THAT FUCKING CROSS (you’ll understand once you read it), Osferth is definitely out of character but I don’t care, Finan being a very protective older brother.

 “Y/N, where the hell are ya?!” your brother spoke into the phone, his Irish accent becoming thicker with his anger. You sighed, holding your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you pulled on your pants from the night before and quickly threw on your coat. Turning and glancing at the man on the bed one last time, you grabbed your purse and booked it, not wanting to be there when he woke up. “Y/N! Answer me, dammit!”

“Finan, I’m fine. I’m on my way home. I’ll be there in like twenty, ok?” you groaned, pulling your coat tighter around your body as you made your way out into the parking lot of the cheap motel and scurried towards your piece of shit car.

“Fine. But you better come straight home.” he ordered.

“Yes, mom.” you said sarcastically before hanging up on him.

You quickly got into your car before digging around in your purse and fishing out your keys. You turned the car on and cranked the heat, cursing the cold December weather before pulling out of the parking lot and making your way back to your brother's house. The ride wasn’t long enough, soon pulling into the driveway and debating whether or not you should even go inside. Finan was usually a gentle soul, but when it came to protecting you he could be rather intimidating.

You turned off the car and grabbed your purse, taking a deep breath before stepping out of your car and heading towards the house. Your hand froze over the doorknob before you forced yourself to go inside. The door hadn’t even clicked shut before Finan was hounding you.

“Care to tell me where the fuck you’ve been?! I was up all night worried about you but you turned your fuckin phone GPS off!” he yelled, following you as you made your way into the living room and plopping yourself down on the couch.

“Does it matter? I’m here now!” you said, giving him a big fake smile in an attempt to quell his anger. Unfortunately, that didn’t work.

“Yes it fuckin’ matters! What if you’d been hurt, huh? What then, Y/N?!” he practically screamed. You frowned, looking down at your hands in your lap. You hated making him worry about you.

“I’m sorry.” you mumbled, digging through your purse and pulling out the envelope from the night before and handing it to him. He reluctantly took it and looked at you suspiciously.

“What’s this?” he asked, looking at the envelope in his hands before locking his eyes on yours.

“There’s enough there to pay the electric bill and my half of the rent.” you said, giving him no further details. His face dropped before sitting next to you on the couch, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“I thought you stopped doin’ tha’, Y/N.” he murmured, sounding disappointed. His voice was so quiet you could barely hear him. You looked over at him but he wasn’t looking at you. He was staring at the envelope in his hands.

“We needed the money, Finan.” you whispered.

“We will find you a job, Y/N. A real job. I refuse to let you keep whoring yourself out to random men for a little bit of cash.” he said, still sounding disappointed but his words were firm. There was no room for argument. Then his tone perked up a little bit. “Plus, I need you here to help me with the heathens.”

“The heathens?” you questioned, giving him a confused look.

“Mhmm. You remember my old college buddies, right? Uhtred, Sihtric, and Osferth?”

Of course you remembered them. They were hard to forget. Especially since you’d had a teeny tiny crush on Osferth since the very moment you’d met him. Your brother had been a sophomore in college and Osferth had been a freshman. You were still in highschool at the time but Finan had come back home for the holidays and brought Osferth along with him. You practically locked yourself in your bedroom the whole two weeks they were home because you were too shy to face him. Afterwards, he’d been around quite often and you kind of became friends. You hadn’t seen him in a couple years but your heart still jumped into your throat at the mention of his name.

“Yeah, I remember.” you said quietly.

“They’re gonna come spend Christmas with us! So I need you here to help keep the damage to a minimum.They behave better when you’re around.”

You couldn’t help but smile, knowing he was right. His friends really did try to stay on their best behavior when you were around. 

“Fine. But you know I’m only going to encourage their bad behavior, right?” you laughed, nudging your brother with your elbow.

“I expect nothing less.” he said, a huge grin on his face.

A few weeks had passed and Finan had managed to find you a job working at the diner downtown as a waitress. He had also made you take your car to the shop to get it fixed, so for now he was driving you. You had only been there for about a week but you’d gotten the hang of things pretty quick thanks to Eadith, another one of Finan’s friends from college. The redhead had taken you under her wing and made sure you thrived while at work. 

Your shift was nearly over and it was almost time for closing up when the bell over the door chimed, alerting you to someone coming inside. You turned and grinned, seeing your brother. But not only him, he was followed by his merry band of heathens.

“There she is!” Uhtred exclaimed, holding his arms out for you. You practically ran to him, jumping into his arms and giggling as he lifted you off the ground. Uhtred had always been a constant presence in your life since Finan had met him. You considered him another brother, but it had been several months since you’d last seen him.

“Oh my god! It’s so good to see you! I missed you so much!” you exclaimed, hugging him tight before he set you back on your feet.

“I missed you too, Y/N. It’s only been three months but you’re acting like it’s been years.” he laughed.

“And what about me, little leprechaun? Didn’t you miss me at all?” Sihtric joked, sticking out his lower lip and making you laugh. It had been just over a year since you last saw him. You quickly let him engulf you in a bear hug before pulling back and looking at his face.

“I missed you too, but call me ‘leprechaun’ one more time and I’ll kick your ass.” you laughed. He held up his hands in surrender and agreed.

“Fine. No Irish jokes… but only because it’s Christmas!”

You smiled at him once more before letting your eyes drift to who stood right beside your brother. It had been at least two years, maybe three since you’d last seen him and he was still just as gorgeous as you remembered him to be. His blonde hair swept to the side, a silver chain with a cross hanging around his neck, bright blue eyes, perfect lips that you just wanted to…

“Y/N, are you still with us? You zoned out for a second.” Finan laughed, eyeing you suspiciously. You quickly nodded your head before he spoke again. “You remember Osferth, right?”

“Of course I do!” you said, smiling and turning to the man in question. “And of course I missed you too, Os! It’s been way too long since I’ve seen you!”

He opened his arms and pulled you into a hug, your arms immediately flinging themselves around his neck. You could feel your heart fluttering erratically in your chest as his arms squeezed tightly around your waist. You nuzzled your face against his sweater covered shoulder and breathed in deep, inhaling his scent and committing it to memory before you reluctantly let go.

“You’re right, it’s been way too long, Y/N. I need to come see you guys more often.” he said, his blue eyes locked on yours. You expected him to look away first, but he didn’t. He only smirked, causing you to quickly look back at your brother. You weren’t even sure if you heard it, but you could’ve sworn you’d heard him chuckle at how quickly you looked away.

“So, I’m almost done here. Just need to clock out and then we can go home.” you said quickly, needing to escape Osferth’s gaze so you could breathe properly.

“Sounds like a plan, sis.” Finan said, moving to sit down at a nearby booth, the guys all following him as you went to the back and clocked out. You gathered your purse and your coat, ready to finally go home and spend time with your boys. When you went to round the corner you could hear them talking… about you. So you stayed just out of sight to listen in on their conversation.

“So what’s Y/N up to nowadays? Any boyfriend to speak of?” you heard Sihtric ask. You rolled your eyes. Definitely no boyfriends recently.

“Nah, none that I’m aware of at least.” Finan said. “But don’t go gettin’ any ideas. Hands off my baby sister.”

“Let’s be honest here, Fin. Y/N would eat me alive if I ever tried to hook up with her. Plus, the way I see it, she’s only got eyes for our boy, Os!” Sihtric laughed, trying to keep his voice down so you wouldn’t hear.

“Me? What makes you say that, Sihtric?” Osferth chimed in. You could tell he was smiling just by his voice.

“I hate to admit it, but Sihtric’s right.” you heard Uhtred say. You scoffed, realizing they were all basically scheming against you. 

“Osferth, she was practically undressing you with her eyes! She wants you bad, man. Did you really not notice?” Sihtric exclaimed, laughing at the end. 

“Jesus Christ! Would you lot shut the fuck up before she hears ya’? She doesn’t like Os like that. If she did, she would have told me. She tells me everything for fucks sake! She’s not crushing on Osferth. End of fuckin’ story.” Finan said, clearly not wanting to talk about the prospect of his little sister crushing on one of his best friends. Oh, if he only knew the truth. You chose this moment to come around the corner as if you hadn't just been listening in on their conversation.

“Ok, I’m ready to go!” you said happily. You couldn’t help but notice the way Osferth smiled at you, his cheeks flushed as he let his eyes give you a once over when Finan wasn’t looking.

The ride back to the house wasn’t too terribly long but it felt like forever. You were crammed in the backseat of your brother's car, your thigh and side pressed tightly against Osferth. You could feel the heat of his body through your clothing, leaving a hot burning in your belly. Every once in a while you could feel his eyes on you and you’d just give him a quick smile before looking out the window again. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you were practically holding your breath the entire ride home.

You all but jumped out of the car as soon as your brother pulled into the driveway, hurriedly making your way into the house before the guys could even get out of the car. Once you were in the safety of your own room you felt like you could breathe again. You weren’t sure if it’s the fact that your crush on Osferth wasn’t as subtle as you thought it was or the fact that your entire side was pressed against said man the whole ride home. 

You decided taking a shower was your best bet at calming the burning heat that still hadn’t faded. The scorching hot water took your mind off of him long enough to actually shower and get clean. When you were done, you dressed in your dark red fuzzy pajama set, the one that Finan hated because he said it showed way too much skin.

The high waisted shorts left nothing to the imagination, covering about the same amount of your ass as a pair of cheeky panties. And the matching cropped tank top stopped at the middle of your ribcage and hugged your boobs perfectly. You could faintly see the outlines of your nipples through the fuzzy fabric.

You towel dried your hair and lotioned up your legs before making your way downstairs. By the way it sounded, it seemed that the boys had already broken into the beer that you and Finan had stocked up on over the past couple weeks.

They all turned to look at you as you made it to the bottom of the steps. You could tell Sihtric and Uhtred were trying to avert their eyes, lest they become Finan’s personal punching bags. Finan looked like a disappointed father, rolling his eyes and sighing while he rubbed his temples as he tried to ignore your choice of clothing. Then there was Osferth, who tried to avert his gaze but failed, his gaze lingering on your very exposed legs before roaming up your body, stopping briefly at your chest and his eyes going wide before reaching your face. You smirked and watched him turn crimson, quickly looking away and taking a long swig from his beer.

You just waved nonchalantly to the guys and made your way to the kitchen where you grabbed a glass and the bottle of whiskey, pouring a shot's worth of the amber liquid before grabbing the eggnog out of the fridge and filling your glass. You took a sip and grinned, feeling the warmth of the alcohol blooming in your belly.

When you went back to the living room where the guys all sat, you perched yourself on the couch next to Osferth, quickly making yourself comfortable against the arm rest and throwing your legs over his lap. You could feel his thighs tense up under you but he quickly relaxed and let his arms rest on top of your legs. You smiled to yourself, absolutely screaming on the inside at the feeling of his hands resting on your bare skin. The heat spread across your skin, and not just because of the crackling fire in the fireplace next to you.

“Y/N, we were just discussing the sleeping arrangements. Uhtred and Sihtric are gonna be in our main guest room that has the two full size beds. And Osferth can take the other guest room with the king that shares your bathroom. I figured that baby monk would be the most respectful when it comes to sharing a bathroom with ya’.” Finan said, explaining the sleeping arrangements to you.

“That’s perfectly fine with me.” you said, smiling at your brother before looking at Osferth and giggling. “That means we’re practically roommates while you’re here, Os!”

“Sounds good to me.” he grinned, gently squeezing your knee. You had to distract yourself from his touch and turned to look at your brother.

“So are we still getting the tree set up tomorrow?” you asked, raising your eyebrow.

“That’s the plan. So we can decorate tomorrow night if you want.” he said, taking a drink from the beer in his hand.

“Sounds like a plan, brother!” you said happily, grinning at him and taking a long gulp of your drink. “I can also make that spiced apple cider that you and Uhtred like so much.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, you’re a fucking angel!” Uhtred exclaimed, making you laugh. The last time you’d made your secret recipe apple cider, Uhtred drank almost all of it and didn’t manage to get out of bed the next day until dinner time.

“I know.” you said happily, flashing him a grin.

Neither you or Osferth moved for the rest of the evening, just enjoying everyone's company. One by one, the others made their way to their beds and bid you goodnight. You reluctantly got up, removing your legs from Osferth’s lap. You stood up and stretched, making a show of it and letting your arms stretch up above your head as you yawned. You could practically feel his eyes on you before you made your way to the steps.

“Are you going to bed or are you going to sit down here by yourself?” you laughed, heading towards the stairs and looking back at him over your shoulder.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” he said, finally getting up off the couch and making his way over to where you stood. He grabbed his bags that were at the foot of the stairs and followed you up. You knew he was staring at your ass, but that’s exactly what you wanted. You wanted him to stare at you, to let his thoughts be filled with you, to crave you the same way you craved him.

“Well this is you.” you said, stopping in front of his door. You smiled and pointed to your door right down the hall. “And I’m right there if you need anything.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind, sweetheart. Since we’re sharing a bathroom, mind if I take a shower?” he asked, smiling at you. You had to force yourself to keep a neutral expression, the thought of him being naked in your shower making your heart hammer wildly in your chest.

“Go for it, baby monk. I think I’m heading straight to bed.” you said. To enjoy the company of my vibrator.

“Well goodnight then, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning.” he said, flashing you a smile before opening his door and entering his room.

You quickly made your way to your door before yanking it open and closing it behind you. You looked towards the door to your bathroom that was currently closed and you could feel the heat rising in your chest. After a moment of silence you heard the shower turn on.

It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, realizing you had the perfect opportunity to get Osferth’s attention. You quickly crawled into bed, kicking the covers towards your feet. You leaned over and yanked open your side table drawer, reaching in and wrapping your fingers around the silicone rabbit vibrator you kept hidden in there. You smiled to yourself as you got yourself situated and kicked off your shorts. This was gonna be fun.

Osferth was quick about taking a shower. He tried his best to distract himself from thinking about you, but it just didn’t work. That view he had of your ass going up the stairs was permanently etched into his brain. Fuck. He figured he’d at least wait until he was comfortable in bed to relieve himself of his not so little problem. He’d just stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist when he heard it… heard you.

He listened closely, holding his breath and making sure to not make any noise as he stepped closer to the door that separated the bathroom from your bedroom. Listening carefully he could hear a faint buzzing, wet squelching, and a very quiet moan. He could feel his cock twitch at the sound and mentally cursed himself.

What was he doing? He couldn’t do this! Finan would kill him if he ever found out. Fuck, this was so wrong! He quickly made up his mind, deciding to behave himself and went to turn and go back to his room when your voice caught his attention.

“Mmm oh fuck! Osferth, yes!”

Your sweet, quiet whimpers of his name had his mind spinning, unable to fathom that you were in your bed masturbating while thinking about him. He knew he shouldn’t but his body moved of its own accord. His hand reached for the doorknob and very carefully turned it, pushing the door open only about two inches. His breath caught in his throat at the sight, you whimpering pitifully as you chased your own orgasm, writhing on the sheets, your skin glowing in the moonlight.

His eyes raked over your body, noticing how you’d pulled your top up to expose your breasts, your nipples hard from the cool air and your arousal. Your legs were spread wide, giving him the perfect view of you using the toy to fuck your cunt. The toy gleamed in the moonlight every time you pulled it out of your leaking cunt, only to shove it right back inside you, all the way to the hilt. 

He knew it was wrong but his hand wandered down to his now painfully hard cock, palming himself over the towel. Within seconds he knew that he needed more friction than what he was giving himself. He dropped the towel to the floor and let his fingers wrap around his length, slowly stroking himself as he watched you.

Your quiet moans were music to his ears, the sweetest melody he’d ever heard. He so desperately wanted to hear more but he couldn’t risk barging into your room and fucking up the whole situation, or worse, Finan finding out. So he stayed put where he was, watching you silently from the other side of the bathroom door while he pleasured himself.

He had no idea how long you’d been at it but he could tell you were getting close. Your whimpers and moans became higher in pitch and more frequent, so much so that you were having a hard time catching your breath. He watched in awe, stroking himself faster while he imagining just how tight your cunt would be around his cock.

Your hips lifted higher and higher off the bed with every thrust of the toy, desperately chasing your high that seemed like it was just out of reach. Your breathing was ragged and sweat covered your body, the room becoming almost unbearably hot. You were so close, the vibrations on your overly sensitive clit making you want to scream. You refrained, only because you didn’t want to wake your brother, Uhtred, or Sihtric. 

You were about to give up, thinking that he hadn’t heard you and he just went to bed and you would just try to get his attention tomorrow. Then you heard it. A slight shuffling on the other side of the bathroom door. Without stopping your play time, you turned your head towards the bathroom door that was now cracked open. Osferth stood behind the door, his cock in his hand as he watched you fuck yourself.

Osferth almost panicked when your pretty eyes met his. He was about to turn on his heel and run straight to his own bedroom and pray you didn’t actually see him, but that’s when you did it… You smirked at him. You fucking smirked at him when you caught him watching you. His eyes stayed locked on yours, the eye contact driving you over the edge.

“Osferth! Yes! Oh my god!!!” you moaned, keeping your eyes on his until your eyes were forced shut by the intensity of your release. Your legs shook violently as the vibrations extended your orgasm, your loud whimpers of his name reaching his ears.

Your high seemed to last what felt like forever, but you eventually came back to, letting your eyes slowly open again. You quickly removed the toy from your abused hole and turned it off, throwing it to the side to be cleaned later. Your breathing was still heavy as you tried to catch your breath and your mind tried to catch up with your body. 

A small click made you turn your head back to the bathroom door. Yours was still slightly cracked open so it must’ve been his. You got up on shaky legs and quietly moved to the bathroom and pulled open the door. His side was indeed shut. You smiled to yourself and was about to walk out when something caught your eye. A few wadded up tissues in the trash can that definitely hadn’t been there earlier. You had to slap your hand over your mouth to keep your giggles to a minimum. You couldn’t have been more proud of yourself than you were at that very moment.

The next morning you had managed to get yourself up before anybody else, feeling oddly refreshed with a bit of a bounce in your step. You’d decided to make the guys breakfast, pulling out everything you needed and getting to work. You had just flipped the bacon when a pair of arms snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against their naked chest and making you squeak in surprise.

“You’re playing a very dangerous game, little girl.”

Osferth.

“I’m not the one who was watching someone masturbate from a crack in the bathroom door.” you sighed, failing to keep the smile off your very flushed face.

“I think you wanted me to watch you, sweet girl. You fucking smiled when you saw me watching  you and then you came mere seconds later, like a bitch in heat.” he growled into your ear. His hands moved from your stomach to your practically bare thighs, his fingers lightly grazing your soft skin, dangerously close to where you so desperately needed him. You could feel your heart racing in your chest and your entire body felt like it was on fire. You never in a million years would have imagined Osferth would be so forward with you, but you weren’t complaining. You took a shaky breath before responding.

“And what if I did? Is that such a bad thing that you’re who I think about at night?”

Not only could you hear him chuckle, but you could feel the vibrations from his chest being pressed firmly against your back and his fingers digging slightly into your thighs. Before he could answer you, you slowly turned around in his arms, letting him cage you against the counter. His hands now rested on the counter on either side of you, leaning over you. Your hands were lightly placed on his shoulders and your eyes kept darting between his face and the silver cross that hung around his neck, the shiny metal contrasting with the pale skin of his chest.

“Y/N, your brother would kill me.” he stated, closing his eyes as he gently rested his forehead against yours. You only rested there for a few seconds before pulling away to look up at his face. He stared down at you, his lust for you evident in his eyes..

“So you do want this as much as I do?” you asked. He just nodded his head. “Then what’s the problem? We’re both consenting adults and can make our own decisions. Finan doesn’t own me, Os. He can’t stop me.”

“We just… we shouldn’t.” he said, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he tried to keep his composure.

“Can you just answer one thing for me, Os?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes. He nodded. “Did you think about joining me at all last night? Even for a second?”

“Every goddamn second, princess.” he grumbled, leaning down slightly. His nose brushed against yours and your eyes threatened to flutter shut. His lips were only a breath away from your own.

Loud footsteps coming down the stairs forced you two to quickly jump apart and separate to opposite sides of the kitchen. You quickly resumed tending to breakfast, taking the bacon out of the pan. Meanwhile at the other end of the counter Osferth was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

Finan quickly appeared in the kitchen, smiling when he saw you making breakfast.

“I knew I smelt bacon. You’re the best, baby sis.” he said happily, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and kissing your temple quickly before joining Osferth and getting some coffee.

You and Osferth stared at each other with wide eyes while your brother's back was turned, panic obvious in both of your expressions. This was gonna be a long fucking holiday.

You were unusually quiet during breakfast, your eyes only leaving your plate to glance at Osferth from across the table. Every time he caught you staring, he’d smile before taking a bite of his food. Thankfully the guys didn’t notice, and if they did they didn’t say anything.

After finishing breakfast and cleaning up, the rest of the morning was a blur. Everyone was getting dressed and going over plans for the day. 

“Ok, so after we get the tree set up we can put up lights on the house and then later we can all decorate the tree.”  Finan said, obviously excited.

“So…” you started. “You’re gonna be the one crawling up in the attic to get all this shit down, right?”

“Have I ever made you crawl up in the attic?” Finan said, rolling his eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh knowing he was gonna do all the hard labor.

“True, but I need one of the guys to go shopping with me. I need to get stuff to make the cider and I was gonna get stuff to make apple pie too.” you said, cutting your eyes at Osferth and catching him grinning at you.

“I’ll go with you. I’m sure these oafs can survive without me.” he joked.

“Fine, you can steal Os from us while you’re shopping. But only because you said you’re gonna make apple pie.” Finan laughed. You couldn’t help but smile, realizing your plan was working.

“Thanks, bro.” you said, walking over to your brother and kissing him on the cheek. Then you turned to Osferth who was seated on the couch. “Come on, Os. You’re mine until further notice.”

“I’m more than ok with that.” he said, standing up to go grab his coat. As he passed you he sent you a wink. You quickly told your brother and the other goodbye before you grabbed the keys to Finan’s car and headed out the door, Osferth right on your heels. You were just starting the car when he turned to look at you.

“You just couldn’t wait to be alone with me, could you, princess?” he chuckled, his bright eyes staring into yours.

“Oh shut up. You know you wanted to get me alone, too.” you smirked, beginning to drive down the road. 

The entire ride to the grocery store he was teasing you, letting his hand rest on your thigh and laughing when it made you press on the gas a little harder than you intended. And once you were actually in the store he was even worse. His hands grabbing at your hips as he moved past you, even going as far as to let his hand brush over your ass a few times. He only smirked at you while he watched your face turn red.

By the time you’d made it back to the house, Osferth had nearly driven you to the point of insanity. You were so riled up that you couldn’t even think straight. You were grateful for the sudden distraction when you walked into the house. Boxes were everywhere, the fake tree was assembled in the corner of the living room, Sihtric was on the floor and tangled up in a string of colored lights, and Uhtred and Finan were singing along loudly to Elvis’ Blue Christmas while they pulled out multiple boxes of ornaments.

“Os?” you questioned, not taking your eyes off the guys in the living room.

“Yes, angel?” he asked quietly, finally taking in the scene in front of him, his eyes going wide.

“I thought you said they could survive without you.” you giggled, finally making your presence known and making your way over to Sihtric to help untangle him from the lights.

“I thought they could!” he said, holding up his hands in defense.

“Hey, we didn’t burn the house down or anything! I think we did alright!” Uhtred laughed. You just smiled, finally managing to get Sihtric untangled from the lights.

“Well why don’t you guys continue… whatever this is,” you said, waving your hand sporadically around the living room, gesturing to the chaos they’ve created. “And I’ll go to the kitchen and get started on the pie and cider.”

You didn’t wait for a response as you took the groceries to the kitchen and got to work. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but you had just bent over to put the pie in the oven when strong hands gripped your hips from behind. You froze, carefully closing the oven door and standing up.

“My brother’s in the other room, Os. Behave.” you said, attempting to move out of his grasp and failing.

“He’s too busy, love. They’re all too busy to even notice that I’m missing.” he said, gently turning you around in his arms. You couldn’t help but smile up at him when you saw the grin on his face as he held you close. “Plus, I brought something with me that you might enjoy. Thought maybe we could get some use out of it.”

“And what exactly did you bring, Os?” you questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. 

He stepped back for a moment, reaching into his pocket to grab something. Your heart sped up as you saw what was in his hand. Mistletoe.

“Osferth…” you whispered, feeling the nerves creeping up your neck. 

“You can always tell me no, princess.” he said, reassuring you that he wasn’t going to pressure you. You stayed silent, confirming his suspicions. “But I was robbed of the opportunity to kiss you this morning and I’d like to rectify that situation right now. And I know you won’t tell me no. You want this just as badly as I do.”

He said no more as he smirked at you before stepping closer to you and letting one arm slide around your waist, pulling your body against his. Slowly, he raised his arm to hold the mistletoe over both of your heads. You glanced up at the decoration before your eyes darted to his lips. Not a word was said as he leaned in slowly, his nose brushing yours. He paused for a few seconds, giving you a chance to back out should you truly not want this. But, of course, you stayed still and waited for him to make the first move.

He gently pressed his lips to yours, savoring the little whine you made at the contact. His other hand came down to grasp at your hip, dropping the mistletoe in the process, when you immediately kissed him back. Your lips moved in tandem with his, slowly, just enjoying the feel of each other. You placed your hands on his chest, one hand fisting the soft material between your fingers and the other fiddling with the silver cross that hung around his neck. You choked down a moan as his tongue darted out to flick against your lower lip. You opened your mouth to his advances, letting his tongue slide against yours sensually. As his mouth worked against yours, one hand slowly slid down to grab your ass while his other was splayed against the small of your back.

“Os…” you whimpered between kisses, feeling yourself begin to get wet.

“Hmm?” he hummed, moving his attention from your lips to your neck, peppering small kisses across your delicate skin.

“We need to stop.” you whined, unable to make your words sound convincing. He just chuckled, continuing to place kisses across your neck and jaw before moving to the other side.

“No we don’t. I told you already, they aren’t gonna come looking for me.” he mumbled against your skin.

“No, I mean… fuck.” you trailed off, not knowing how to explain your current situation. He pulled back and looked down at you with concern.

“What’s wrong, love?” he whispered.

“We have to stop because… fuck, if we continue like this…”  you said, still struggling to tell him the truth.

“Tell me.” he encouraged, giving you a smile.

“God damn it, Osferth. I’m fucking horny, ok?!”  you whisper yelled. His eyes went wide in shock but his smile was bigger.

“Are you really?”

You just nodded your head, almost too embarrassed to look at him. You could feel his now half hard cock twitch against your stomach, causing another wave of arousal to flow through your body and thoroughly soak your panties.

“Os, please.”

He simply smirked at you and shifted a bit, slotting one of his legs between yours so his thigh was pressed directly against your hot center. You gasped at the contact and looked up at him, your arousal swirling in your eyes.

“Take what you need, princess.” he encouraged, his bright eyes staring down at you. You stared at him in shock, not believing what he was asking you to do.

“You can’t be serious.” you whispered, your eyes still wide.

“Oh, but I am, sweet girl. I want you to grind your needy little cunt on my thigh until you make yourself cum.” he said, his hands squeezing your hips and dragging you closer to him, which in turn forced your aching pussy to drag against his thigh. You slapped a hand over your mouth as you let out a squeak of surprise. 

You said nothing, letting your hands grip his shoulders and slowly looked at him. He raised his eyebrow at you, a silent question to ask if you were gonna start moving or if he would have to move you himself. You knew he’d let you go if that’s what you truly wanted, but in all honesty, you wanted this. You glanced at the doorway, hoping you two wouldn’t get caught. Taking a deep breath, you slowly rocked your hips and began to grind yourself against his leg.

“Such a good girl.” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss you again.

You kissed him back and rocked your hips harder. He smiled against your lips and let both of his hands slip down the back of your leggings, feeling your hot skin in his palms as he squeezed your ass and helped you grind against him. Your leggings did practically nothing to separate you from his leg. You could feel your clit begin to throb, the feeling of the rough denim of his jeans rubbing against your wet pussy proving to be the perfect amount of friction.

“Os… fuck, Osferth.” you whimpered, separating from his mouth to bury your face against his neck. You could feel your legs beginning to shake, the pressure becoming too much too quickly.

“Are you close already, sweet girl? You wanna cum?” he teased, pulling you harder against him to help you reach your climax faster.

You nodded your head against his shoulder and whined pitifully. You could feel yourself slipping further and further into submissiveness as you desperately chased your release. It was right there. You could feel it, but you couldn’t quite reach it.

“Os, I can’t cum like this.” You whined, continuing to hump his leg.

“What do you need, Y/N? Tell me what you need from me, love.” he said against your ear, his hot breath making you shiver.

“Your fingers… please.” you moaned, trying your best to keep your voice down.

He gently pulled away from you, searching your eyes for any sign of reluctance but he found none. All he saw was pure lust and yearning. You whined at the loss of contact, feeling your orgasm slipping further out of reach. He took his hands off your ass, letting one hand grip the counter behind you and letting the other trail to your front, teasingly sliding his fingers along the waistband of your leggings.

“You sure this is what you want, princess?” he asked, gently sliding his fingers beneath the fabric and teasing your heated skin.

“Please.” you begged, your eyes beginning to brim with tears at the complete frustration you felt. You needed release and you needed it now.

His hand moved down, his fingers immediately delving between your folds rub over your sensitive clit. The grin on his face could put the Cheshire cat to shame.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby. This all for me?” he teased, letting his long middle finger move down to circle your dripping entrance. You whined, your knees almost buckling at the feeling. He chuckled under his breath before pushing his finger inside, instantly curling to find that spongy spot inside you.

“Osferth, yes! Fuck! Yes… all for you. Need you so bad.”  you whined, grinding down against his hand. 

He quickly added a second finger and moved them faster, his palm now rubbing hard against your clit while he fingered you. You could feel your orgasm building back up much quicker than before. Osferth must have felt your walls beginning to pulse around his fingers because he chuckled.

“Oh, sweet girl, you really need to cum don’t you? Do it. Cum on my fingers, baby!” he encouraged, his eyes locked on yours. 

His words were enough to send you over the edge, the coil snapping and sending a blazing fire through your body as your orgasm consumed you. Osferth leaned forward to kiss you and his free hand shot from the counter to wrap around your waist, holding you against him as you shook in his arms. You moaned into his mouth as you tried to kiss him back but your orgasm was too strong. His lips barely muffled the sounds of your moaning and whining as your high began to fade. 

You finally stopped shaking and were trying to catch your breath when he gently pulled his fingers from your core and brought them up to his mouth, sucking them clean and groaning at the taste. You could feel a small, almost painful tug in your lower belly at the sight. His eyes practically rolled back as he swallowed down your taste.

“You taste amazing, babygirl.” he said, grinning ear to ear. You could feel your face grow hot at his words. 

You were about to open your mouth to say something but you heard footsteps, making both of you jump apart. You quickly turned to the ingredients on the counter to make the spiced apple cider. Osferth quickly picked up the forgotten mistletoe off the floor and leaned against the counter next to you, pretending that he was helping.

“Y/N, Sihtric’s tangled in the lights again… we need help.” Uhtred laughed as he appeared in the doorway. His eyes darted between you and Osferth, giving the two of you a suspicious look but didn’t say anything as he walked away. Osferth turned and gave you a quick smile before following Uhtred out of the room.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly, Osferth keeping his flirting to a minimum since your brother and Uhtred were practically attached to you at the hip. You would send him sweet smiles whenever they weren’t looking and he would send one back with a cheeky wink, making you blush.

You supervised while the guys climbed up onto the roof to hang the lights, basically holding your breath until each one of them was safely back on the ground. Decorating the tree was next. You all spent almost two hours making sure the tree was properly decorated while sipping on the spiced apple cider you had finally made. Osferth even found the perfect excuse to touch you, picking you up in his arms so you could put the star on the top of the tree. Thankfully the others didn’t notice the way the two of you were blushing when he put you back down.

Late evening came around much quicker than anyone wanted, but it was almost one in the morning when everyone finally retired to bed, drunk on the spiced cider you had made. You had actually gone up to your room about a half hour earlier than the rest, leaving you lying awake in bed, wondering if Osferth would come to you tonight. You were beginning to think he was just playing games with your emotions when your bathroom door creaked open. Os peeked his head around the door and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I thought you weren’t gonna come see me.” you admitted, cutting your eyes at him but trying not to laugh.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t at least come say goodnight to my girl?” he said, making your heart do backflips as he walked over to sit on the edge of your bed. You couldn’t keep your eyes from roaming his bare torso, lingering on how low his pants hung on his hips.

“Your girl?” you asked, a twinkle of hope shining through. You so desperately wanted him, even if Finan wouldn’t approve. Even in the dark you could see a faint blush covering his cheeks.

“Well yeah, I mean… after earlier I just assumed…” he stuttered, clearly nervous about the subject. It was honestly adorable seeing the normally confident man get all flustered over you.

“I’m glad you assumed, Os. I wanna be your girl… so much.” you whispered.

“Good, cause I’m not letting you go, angel.” he answered, leaning down to press his lips against yours. You attempted to wrap your arms around his neck but he quickly pulled away. 

“Os-” you started, but you weren’t able to get anything out before he cut you off.

“Not another word, love. I need to go do something really quick and I need your sexy ass to stay right here while I do it, ok?”

You just nodded in agreement, letting him peck your lips one more time before getting up and disappearing through the bathroom door. You could faintly hear his footsteps before hearing him leave his room and go downstairs. Your brows knit together in confusion, not knowing what he was up to. About ten minutes passed before you could hear him enter his room again and make his way through the bathroom to your bedroom.

“So do I get to know what you were just doing?” you asked, sitting up and revealing the silky pink chemise slip that you were wearing specifically for him. His eyes went wide for a moment and roamed greedily over your body before answering.

“Of course, love. But we need to be extra quiet, ok?”

You bit your lip and nodded excitedly, sitting up and following him out of the room. The two of you tiptoed down the stairs, being sure to stay quiet so you wouldn’t wake the others. At the bottom of the steps Osferth took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze before guiding you to the living room. 

Your jaw dropped at the sight before you. The fire in the fireplace had been stoked back to life and the decorated tree was lit to perfection. A nest of blankets and pillows laid directly in front of the tree, catching your eye. There were even two mugs of hot chocolate sitting on the coffee table. Everything looked so perfect you could almost cry. You turned to Osferth only to see him already smiling at you.

“Osferth, what is all this?” you asked. 

“I wanted our first time to be special. You deserve that… and so much more. I would’ve preferred a little more privacy but this will have to do for now.” he said almost sheepishly.

“Baby, this is perfect.” you said, leaning up to peck his lips before walking over the very cozy looking blanket nest he’d made by the tree. You immediately laid down in the middle of it and stretched enticingly, your arms up over your head as you arched your back.

“My love…” he said, staring at you in awe while he slowly made his way closer to you. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“Come here.” you said, grinning and reaching an arm out towards him. 

He did as you asked and kneeled down on the blankets so he was hovering over you, that damned silver cross dangling in front of your face. You’d never admit it out loud, but that chain turned you on. Without saying another word you let your arms wind around his neck and pulled his face to yours. You kissed him without a second thought, wanting him more than you’ve ever wanted anything in your entire life. He pulled away only to look down at you with a nervous smile.

“Can I make love to you, sweetheart?”

You could feel yourself blushing as your heart did backflips and your pussy clenched around nothing, wanting him inside you.

“Please, Os. I need you.” you whined, reaching a hand down between your bodies to let your fingers rub over his hard cock that was straining against his pajama pants. He groaned and shut his eyes, enjoying the feeling of you finally touching him.

You had to hold back a moan at the feeling of him twitching under your fingers. He was big… bigger than you expected and you knew that the stretch of him filling you up would be to die for. You grinned up at him and squeezed your fingers around his length, causing him to throb and buck against your hand.

“Y/N, my love, don’t tease me.” he whispered, moving to sit back on his knees, just out of your grasp. 

You smirked and sat up, slowly pulling the silk chemise up and over your head, revealing to him that you weren’t wearing anything underneath. Laying back down you brought your hands up to your breasts, squeezing them and gently rolling your nipples between your fingers.

“Does this count as teasing, Os?” you asked, batting your eyes at him.

“You know it does, princess. Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” he said, pushing his flannel pajama pants down and shimmying out of them. You couldn’t help but glance down at his cock before staring up at him with lust in your eyes.

He moved to lean over you again, his lips capturing yours in a slow, passionate kiss. You moaned into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck and carding your fingers through his hair as you felt his tongue slide gently against yours. He sucked gently on your tongue before nibbling on your lower lip, making you whimper.

Slowly, he trailed his kisses from your mouth to your neck, eventually landing on your breasts. His tongue slowly traced around one hard nipple before engulfing it in the wet heat of his mouth and suckling gently. The feeling of his mouth sucking on the soft flesh made you moan loudly. His hand immediately came up to cover your mouth, reluctantly pulling his mouth away from you.

“You need to stay quiet, love. Don’t want Finan and the others comin’ down here and finding us, do we?” he asked, his hand still placed firmly over your mouth. 

You shook your head, wide eyes staring up into his. He slowly removed his hand from your mouth before diving back down to your chest, taking your neglected nipple into his mouth, giving it the same treatment as the previous one. You brought your own hand up to cover your mouth this time as he gently nibbled at the hard bud and rolled it between his teeth. 

Soft whines and pants left your mouth as he began moving his kisses south, the cold metal of his cross dragging across your stomach. He nipped and sucked several bruises onto your ribcage and hips before moving even lower and softly kissing the top of your mound. He glanced up at you, mischief shining in his eyes along with the bright Christmas lights. His hands gripped both of your knees before gently nudging them apart. You let your legs fall open and bit your lip upon feeling the cool air hit your wet center.

“Holy shit, baby.” he whispered, maneuvering himself to lie down on his stomach so his face was mere inches from your heat. His hands smoothed up to the juncture of your thighs, letting his thumbs graze over your damp folds before spreading you open. “My god, you have such a pretty pussy.”

“Os, please.” you whined, wiggling your hips in an attempt to get him closer to you. 

“You want me to lick your pretty little cunt, baby?” he teased, inching a bit closer.

“Uh huh.” you mumbled, nodding your head.

“Words, princess. Need to hear you say it.” he chastised.

“Osferth, oh my god, please! I need you to eat my pussy!” you whined, not caring how desperate you sounded.

He smirked before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to your clit before letting his tongue delve between your folds to lick a long stripe through your wetness. You shamelessly arched your back and let one hand reach down to grip his dirty blonde hair to guide him exactly where you wanted him. He let you move his head as you bucked your hips against his face, his tongue switching between circling your weeping hole and flicking your swollen bud. He pulled back only slightly to smile up at you.

“You taste like heaven, my love.”

“That’s a bold statement coming from someone who grew up as a preacher's son.” you joked. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hmm, maybe. But you’re downright sinful, baby.”

“Then you must be the devil himself.” you moaned out as he teasingly licked through your folds again. He softly kissed your clit one last time before crawling back up your body until his face was level with yours.

He kissed you, gently caressing your tongue with his, allowing you to taste yourself. A moan escaped your throat as you kissed him back. You could feel his hard cock trapped between the two of you, leaking precum onto your skin. He gently rocked his hips against yours, his long shaft sliding wetly between your folds and nudging at your puffy clit. You groaned and pulled away, biting your lip and knitting your brows together at the pleasurable sensation.

“Y/N, I want you so bad.” he groaned, his eyes shutting tight as he continued to rut against you, covering his cock in your slick.

“I need to be fucked, Os. I need you to fuck me and make me yours.” you whined, your hands absentmindedly stroking and playing with his hair. 

“I’ll fuck you so good, angel. Gonna ruin you for any other man.” he growled, pulling his hips back and lining himself up with your entrance.

“Do it, baby. Fuck me… claim me.” you begged, spreading your legs wider and bucking your hips in an attempt to get him inside you.

“Just one more thing before I do, princess.” he said, one hand grabbing your chin to make you look into his eyes.

“What is it, Os?” you asked, eyes wide. You could see uncertainty flash across his face for a second before taking a deep breath.

“I love you, Y/N.” he whispered, letting his thumb stroke over your chin.

You sucked in a breath and felt your heart jump into your throat. Tears threatened to come to the surface but you held them off as you smiled up at him.

“I love you too.” you whispered back, unable to keep the grin off your face.

Not another word was said as he braced himself above you. His eyes were still locked on yours and you gave him a small nod. It was all the answer he needed. He slowly pushed himself forward, sinking into your heat until his hips were flush against yours. You both moaned entirely too loudly at the feeling. With every breath you took you could feel his tip pressing against your cervix, making your walls twitch around his length.

“Oh god, you feel so fucking good, baby.” he moaned, leaning down to nip and suck at your neck. You threw your head back against the pillow and let him mark you.

“Osferth, I need you to move. Please, baby.” you begged, letting your nails dig into his shoulders as you began to grind your hips gently against his. 

“Easy, princess. I wanna savor this.” he said, slowly pulling almost all the way out before carefully sliding back in. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned softly.

Slowly he picked up his pace until the soft sound of skin slapping bounced off the walls. His cross chain dangled in front of your face, the Christmas lights from the tree gleaming brightly off the silver. You were a moaning mess, your back arched impossibly high as you tried to get closer to Osferth. His soft grunts and groans in your ear were making you impossibly wet. You could hear every slick, wet sound as he continued to thrust into you. You could feel that familiar blooming of heat in your belly, but you weren’t ready for this to end. Before he could comprehend what was happening, you managed to flip him onto his back. 

“Don’t look so worried, Os. I just wanna play.” you giggled upon seeing his stunned face.

“What are you planning on doing to me, love?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at you.

You didn’t answer, gently sliding yourself off of his cock and shifting backwards until you could lay on your stomach between his spread legs. You let your fingers wrap around his length and used your own slick to glide your hand up and down. He moaned quietly, refusing to take his eyes off of you while you worked him. His eyes fluttered as you squeezed with every upward stroke. While he was preoccupied with trying to keep his eyes open, you leaned forward and kitten licked the tip to taste the bead of precum that had been leaking from his slit.

“Holy shit!” he moaned, letting his head fall back against the pillows.

You chuckled lightly to yourself as you wrapped your lips around the head of his cock and suckled lightly, letting the tip of your tongue prod at his slit and practically purring when he oozed more precum. You leaned further down, taking more of him into your mouth and choking slightly as his tip hit the back of your throat. He quickly tried to pull you off of him, afraid that he’d hurt you, but you slapped his hands away and continued. You took a deep breath through your nose and relaxed your throat as best you could before slowly pushing forward until your throat finally relaxed enough to receive him without gagging.

“Baby, oh my fucking god, Y/N!” he moaned, his pupils dilated and his eyes blown wide with lust as he looked down at you swallowing his cock whole. “Nobody’s ever, fuck, oh god, no one has ever… fuck… taken me this deep before!”

You would have laughed at his already fucked out state if it wasn’t for his dick down your throat. Remaining relaxed, you slowly pulled back up, but only until just his tip was still in your throat. You locked eyes with him as you guided your mouth back down his length, your throat receiving him again. You continued this slow pace, enjoying watching him try to keep his composure. He was failing miserably.

On one particular push down his length, you purposefully swallowed around him, letting your throat constrict around his cock. The poor boy almost screamed. He was so loud you were honestly afraid he’d wake up Finan. You pinched his thigh in warning to keep quiet.

“I’m sorry, baby, but you’re throat is squeezing the fucking life out of me.” he groaned. His almost incoherent babbling was making your pussy wetter than you could even fathom. “Angel, my love, oh god, please! I need to be inside you, Y/N. Mmmm fuck… wanna make you cum on my cock while I cum deep inside that pretty pussy. Please, baby!”

You decided to take mercy on him and gently suctioned your lips around him as you pulled him from your throat. Your lips suckled at his tip for a moment, just to tease, finally leaving him with a soft pop. You didn’t even have the chance to catch your breath before Osferth had you pinned beneath him in your original position. He stared down at you and smiled.

“Osferth.” you whispered.

“Y/N.” he whispered back, his grin growing wider.

“I love you.”  you said, bringing your hands up to wrap around his neck.

“I love you too, princess. And I’m gonna do everything in my power to prove it to you.” he promised, finally lining himself up with your hole and pushing inside to the hilt. 

You realized you would never tire of this feeling. He filled you up perfectly, almost like he was made specifically for you. His cock stretched you out in the best way possible, leaving you in the most euphoric state between pain and pleasure. A loud moan left your lips when you felt his tip pressing against that tiny spongy spot inside you. He quickly put his hand over your mouth and you looked up at him with wide eyes.

“We need to stay quiet, princess. Do you think you can do that?” he asked. You quickly nodded your head even though you knew you would be a whining, moaning mess beneath him in no time. 

He reluctantly removed his hand from your mouth before pulling back and thrusting back in. He wasted no time in picking up his pace. You were more than wet enough to take him completely. You bit your lip and furrowed your brow in an attempt to keep quiet. The sight nearly drove Osferth insane. You looked so fucking innocent beneath him while he split you open with his cock. His eyes drifted from yours down to your chest, watching the way your breasts bounced as he pounded into you. He could feel your walls twitching around him, constricting him tighter and tighter. He knew it wouldn’t take much more to send you flying over the edge. He reached a hand down between your bodies to rub at your swollen clit. As soon as he touched you, you nearly choked on your own scream. 

“That’s it, baby. I know you’re close.” he purred, rubbing harsh circles on the little bud, abusing it to the best of his power. He was absolutely losing it, having you whining and moaning beneath him. “Cum for me, Y/N! Come on my cock, baby girl!”

His words mixed with his perfectly timed thrusts and his finger rubbing harsh circles on your clit had you moments from bliss.

“Mmm Osferth! I’m- oh fuck, I’m gonna cum, baby!” you whimpered, staring up at him with unshed tears in your eyes. The pleasure was just too much.

He set a brutal pace, slamming into you, his moans mixed with yours and reverberated throughout the room. You could feel the coil rapidly begin to wind tighter and tighter while flames licked up your back. Within seconds the molten inferno broke loose and in a last ditch effort to keep quiet you bit down onto his shoulder to muffle your scream.

“Oh, Y/N! Fuck!” he growled, making a few last hard thrusts before stilling, pinning his hips tightly against you as he hit his high. You moaned softly at the warm feeling blooming in your belly, his cum shooting deep inside you.

The two of you stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms as your breathing returned to normal. You couldn’t even hold your eyes open as you came down. You could hear him chuckling above you and forced your eyes open to see his blue ones locked on yours.

“Aw, is my baby girl all blissed out? Did I fuck you that good?” he cooed, grinning ear to ear. You simply nodded, barely having the strength to do that. He gently pulled his cock from your abused and swollen pussy, making you hiss.

“Os…”

“Shhh, baby, I know you’re sensitive. Just let me hold you and then I’ll carry you up to bed, ok?” he murmured, moving to lay down next to you and pull a blanket up over your bodies. 

He immediately gathered you in his arms and pulled you against his chest. You breathed in his scent and smiled. He smelled like sex and cinnamon… an oddly satisfying scent. He angled his head down and nudged his nose against yours affectionately, making you giggle before he pressed his lips against yours in a sweet kiss. You had no idea how long the two of you had laid there just kissing one another.

“Finan’s gonna fucking kill you, baby monk.” an amused voice said. You both turned and looked to the doorway where Sihtric leaned against the doorframe, a smirk on his lips.

“You think I don’t fuckin’ know that?” Osferth groaned, pulling you closer and nuzzling his face in your hair. Sihtric must have noticed the panicked look on your face because he just laughed.

“Y/N, sweetie, I’m not gonna tell him. Your secret’s safe with me.” he swore. “But next time you two might wanna keep it down…. You weren’t exactly quiet. And maybe don’t do it so out in the open where anyone can find you. You’re just lucky it’s me that came down to get a drink and not Finan or Uhtred. If it was either of them… well… Osferth wouldn’t be breathing right now.”

“Thank you, Sihtric. We really appreciate it.” you said, giving him a sleepy half smile.

“Anytime, Y/N. Now I’m gonna go back up to bed and pretend that I didn’t see any of this.” he said, turning and making his way back upstairs.

“Maybe we should go back upstairs, love.” Osferth suggested. You gave him a tired smile and nodded your head in agreement. You’d already pushed your luck tonight and didn’t need Finan or Uhtred killing your boyfriend. Boyfriend? You liked the sound of that.

Osferth carefully helped you up, guiding you to sit on the couch while he gathered the blankets to take to the laundry room. You made a mental note to do laundry as soon as you woke up so Finan wouldn’t question why all of the extra blankets needed to be washed. When he finally returned you stood up and moved to grab your chemise that was still on the floor but he beat you to it, holding it away from you.

“Nope. You’re staying naked, baby. I’m not done with you.” he smirked. With that, he grabbed his pants off the floor before scooping you up in his arms and carrying you back upstairs to your room and making sure to lock both of your doors.

The next couple weeks were torture for you and Osferth, only able to find comfort in each others arms after everyone had gone to bed. He found every excuse in the book to touch you whenever he could, passing it off as innocent gestures. Grabbing your hips to slide by you in the kitchen, his knee brushing against yours when you sat next to him on the couch, even wrapping his arm around your shoulders while you were all engaged in conversation. Sihtric would send you both knowing glances anytime he’d catch you staring at each other. You just hoped that Finan and Uhtred didn’t catch on.

Today’s excuse was that he was going to give Finan a break and pick you up from work. Finan, none the wiser to the relationship you had with Osferth, willingly handed over his keys and let Osferth take his car to go pick you up. He thanked God for a chance to finally be alone with you as he pulled out of the driveway. Nothing could have brought him down from how happy he was… except what he saw when he pulled into the parking lot.

A man much taller than you had you cornered against the brick wall of the building. He couldn’t see your face properly in the dark but he realized you hadn’t seen him pull up. He quickly parked the car and watched the scene unfold, not quite sure what was happening.

He swore he could feel his heart beginning to shatter in his chest as he watched the guy try to lean into you, only for you to pull away. Osferth felt like he was going to be sick but couldn’t look away. The thought of you cheating on him hurt him more than he ever thought it could. The two of you had only been a thing for a couple of weeks… hell, he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to call you his girlfriend. You guys never really specified what you were.

The tightness in his chest forced tears to his eyes, the thought of losing you almost too much for him to handle. He quickly blinked them away and continued to watch you. He was about to just leave and tell Finan to come get you, but then you pushed the man away. Osferth could see your face, your mascara streaked down your face where you’d been crying. You went to walk away but the man grabbed your arm and yanked you back to him. You looked absolutely terrified.

Oh fuck no.

Before Osferth could even think about his actions he got out of the car, storming over to where the man held on to you. He could hear you screaming at the man to let you go. He came up behind the man and grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling him away from you and slammed him face first into the brick wall next to you.

“Keep your disgusting fucking hands off my girlfriend!” he screamed at the man as he crumpled to the ground. You couldn’t help but watch, completely stunned at Osferth’s actions.

“Your girlfriend? This must be new because she was with me just about five weeks ago.” the man said, wiping blood from his nose. Os thought about it for a moment, realizing that was about three weeks before he arrived. 

“Well she’s with me now, so fuck off.” Osferth growled, staring down at the man. “I ought to break your goddamn hands for putting them on my woman. If I catch you near her again I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”

Your heart was still racing from the encounter and seeing Osferth so worked up. You didn’t know whether you should be scared or turned on. Because honestly, you were getting kind of wet from watching him defend you. And he called you his girlfriend. He thought of you as his girlfriend and that couldn’t have made you happier. 

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you home.” he said, coming up to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, guiding you across the parking lot to Finan’s car. He opened the door for you and closed it behind you, quickly going to the other side to get in.

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.” you whispered, looking down at your hands.

“You’re apologizing to me after that dick had his hands on you? Look at you, baby. That motherfucker could have seriously hurt you and you’re saying sorry? Don’t apologize to me, princess. I’m just sorry I wasn’t here sooner to prevent that from happening.” he said, reaching over and grabbing your hands in his. He sounded so genuine, so emotional. When you looked up you could see tears in his eyes.

“Os, why are you crying?” you asked. He chuckled, letting one hand come up to wipe away the unshed tears.

“It’s stupid…” he said, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“Tell me.” you encouraged, using the back of your sleeve to wipe away the mascara that had streaked down your cheeks.

“I thought… I thought I lost you.” he admitted, looking away. 

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. He thought you had cheated on him. 

“Oh, baby, no!” you cooed, reaching over and grabbing his face to make him look at you. “I would never!”

“I know you wouldn’t.” he said quietly. “But who was he?”

You could feel your heart jump into your throat and you released his face, sitting back in your seat. You weren’t sure you were ready for this conversation, but you guessed it was now or never. Taking a deep breath, you began to speak.

“He’s someone I used to sleep with.” you said quietly. You watched his brows scrunch together in confusion. He looked like he was thinking over your words for a moment before he spoke.

“Is he one of the guys from the motel?” he questioned. Your eyes went wide.

“How did you know about that?”

“Did you really think Finan dealt with that by himself? He had us all on a group chat. Me, Uhtred, and Sihtric. We all know, baby. And none of us judge you for it, I swear! But Finan… he was so fucking scared that you’d end up on an episode of Dateline or something. We all reassured him that you were a big girl and could take care of yourself, but he’s your big brother. He loves you so much and he was so scared that one of those men would take you from him. Hell, I was scared too. It was always a possibility that one of those nights you just wouldn’t come home. Every time Finan called me to vent about you not coming home until the early hours of the morning, my heart dropped. I always thought it would be the call saying that we had a funeral to go to.”

By the time he was finished talking, his tears flowed freely. He was genuinely scared to lose you. Your heart broke seeing him like this.

“I had no idea that you knew about all of that.” you said, trying to keep your own tears from falling. “I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. That part of me is all in the past. I don’t do that anymore. But, yes, he was one of the guys. He assumed that because I spent one night with him for a little bit of cash it meant that I would be interested in more. He couldn’t have been more wrong.”

“I should fucking kill him.” he said, hands shaking in his lap as he watched the scumbag stumble his way to his car.

“Os, that wouldn’t solve anything. Just take me home.” you begged, not wanting him to get in trouble.

Without another word he turned the car on and sped out of the parking lot. You could tell he was pissed off and scared, still running off the adrenaline and anxiety. You were halfway back to your house when you spoke.

“Turn left up here.” you said quietly, but you knew he heard you.

“What? But Y/N, that’s a little side road that leads out of town.” he tried to explain as if you didn’t already know that.

“I’m well aware of that, Os. Just do it. Please.” you whispered.

He did as you asked, turning down the mostly abandoned side road, tall trees surrounding you on either side. He drove for another five minutes in silence before you spoke again.

“Pull over.”

He didn’t question you, pulling off to the side of the road and turning the car off. The two of you sat in silence, neither of you knowing what to say. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, seemingly too afraid to let go. You knew he was stuck in his head, still worried that he would somehow lose you. You were determined to show him exactly who you belonged to.

“Osferth,” you started, getting his attention. He glanced over at you, looking comparable to a wounded puppy. It broke your heart. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course, baby.” he said, a small grin finally appearing on  his lips. “I love you too.”

“I know you do. Which is why I wanted to come out here.” you said. He looked confused so you continued. “Can we move to the backseat?”

You could see the realization dawning on him, his eyes going wide before nodding his head.

“Yeah… yeah, we can move back there.” he stuttered out, making you giggle slightly.

You climbed in the back and he quickly followed you. Before you could say anything else, his lips were on yours, making out with you like a horny teenager. You moaned into his mouth, letting your fingers tangle in his hair as you quickly straddled his lap to get better leverage on him. You yanked his head back, exposing his neck and began trailing your kisses down his jaw to the pulse point on his neck. You nipped the sensitive flesh before sucking on it hard, making sure to leave a pretty bruise. 

The sound that left his lips made your heart flutter. In the two weeks that you’d been with him, you’d never heard him make this particular sound. It was light and airy and filled with need. It was honestly the prettiest sound you’d ever heard. He whimpered. 

You pulled away to look at his face, seeing him already staring at you like a deer in headlights. He must’ve surprised himself when he whimpered. He didn’t speak, but his hands gripped your hips hard, as if he thought you’d disappear if he let go. You held eye contact with him and slowly rocked your hips against his. His eyes shut tight and his head lolled back as he let out a near pornographic moan.

“Baby?” you said quietly, getting his attention. His eyes opened to look at you, still looking lost. You knew immediately what you needed to do. “Do I need to remind you that I only belong to you, my love?”

He nodded his head eagerly, eyes blown wide, not quite trusting his voice at the moment.

“Please, Y/N. Show me you’re mine.” he moaned, bucking his hips against yours.

“Tell me what you need, Os.” you whispered, grinding against him.

“Need you to ride me, baby.” he whined, the look in his eyes practically begging you to fuck him. You’d never seen him so desperate before. 

You smiled down at him before pulling off your coat and your work shirt, throwing them to the floor, exposing your breasts that were contained by your lacy bra. His hands immediately cupped your boobs in his hands, gently kneading and squeezing them. Your hands found the edge of his sweatshirt and t-shirt, quickly pulling them up over his head in one go. Moving off his lap, you quickly unbuttoned your jeans and shimmied them down your legs. Your panties came off only seconds later. His hands worked just as fast on his own pants and underwear, sliding them down and letting his hard cock slap up against his stomach.

“C’mere, baby.” he said, quickly pulling you to straddle his lap again. His hands wandered up your back to the clasp of your bra, expertly unsnapping it and tossing it aside. Meanwhile, your hand reached down between your bodies to slowly stroke his length.

“I need you inside me, Os.” you moaned, lifting your hips and positioning his tip at your entrance. His hands grabbed your hips and slowly pulled you down onto his cock. 

You moaned loudly and let your fingers dig into his shoulders as you let yourself fully settle on his length. You breathed heavily as your walls twitched, attempting to adjust to his size. His hands smoothed gently up and down your ribs as your breathing returned to a more normal pace.

“You’re mine, Y/N.” he growled, burying his face in your tits and mouthing over the soft flesh before finding a pert nipple to suck on.

“Yours, my love. Only yours.” you said, beginning to slowly grind your hips. The feeling of his hard shaft slipping wetly against your walls had your eyes rolling.

His fingers dug into your hips, helping you to slowly begin bouncing on his cock. His tongue swirled around your nipple, causing it to pebble under his skillful touch. Your whimpers and heavy breathing were loud and echoed throughout the car. You continued to ride him, ignoring the slight ache in your thighs when you started moving faster. He gave your nipple one last hard suck before letting it slip from his mouth. He threw his head back, moaning unashamedly.

“Y/N, oh fuck! Your pussy feels so fucking good. So tight… so god damned wet.” he groaned, holding your hips still and slamming into you from below.

“Mmm my pussy was made just for you. I belong to you, Os. Only you.” you moaned, your hands gripping onto the seat behind him for dear life. He slowed down his thrusts, pulling you to sit fully in his lap.

“Lay back, angel. Put one foot up here” he said, gesturing to the top of the backseat. Then he patted the top corner of the driver's seat. “And put the other one right here to keep you nice and spread open for me.”

You did as he said, moving off of him to lay back against the seat and spreading your legs, bracing them where he told you to. Before he could move to lay over you, you reached your hand between your legs and let your middle finger run up and down your slit a few times to gather your wetness before rubbing light circles over your clit. You could hear him groan at the sight. You moaned obscenely loud, mostly for show just to rile him up a little bit more. You could see his cock twitching as he watched you.

“C’mere, Os. Need you to fuck me.” you whined, making grabby hands at him until he leaned over you so you could wrap your arms around his neck.

“Gonna fuck you so good.” he said, lining himself up with your entrance. “You’re mine, princess. All mine.”

He quickly thrust all the way inside of you, causing you to squeal and buck your hips against his. You watched a smirk appear on his face as he pulled back and thrust back in, getting the same reaction from you. You struggled to keep your eyes open, but you managed. You didn’t want to miss a single moment.

“Osferth!” you moaned, letting your hands move to grab at your breasts as they bounced with his thrusts. His eyes were trained on your breasts as you played with them.

“Mmm that’s it, beautiful. Play with those pretty tits for me.” he groaned, fucking into you even harder than before. 

You did as he asked, letting your fingers pinch at your nipples while you tossed your head back in ecstasy. You could feel your wetness beginning to drip down your ass to stain the seat beneath you but you couldn’t have cared less at the moment. Your hips jolted and your eyes shot open at sudden overstimulation. Glancing down you saw that Osferth had reached his hand between your bodies to rub harsh circles over your bud.

“Os, oh my god, if you- fuck! If you keep that up I won’t last much longer!” you managed to squeak out. He only chuckled, rubbing at your clit a bit faster.

“I know, baby. I’m not done with you. When we’re done here I’m gonna take you home and we’re gonna take a nice, hot shower together where I’m gonna fuck you again. And after that, I’m taking you to bed and making love to you all fucking night. So it’s alright if you finish, Y/N. You can cum whenever you want to, princess, because it won’t be the last time you cum tonight.” he growled, his thrusts getting faster, as were the circles on your clit. You couldn’t contain the scream that left your lips as you felt the sudden heat in your lower belly, the coil threatening to snap at any moment. Your hands gripped his shoulders, attempting to ground yourself and failing miserably. You were already falling.

“I’m gonna- oh fuck! I’m cumming!” you moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders as he pounded into you at a breakneck speed.

“That’s it, baby! Make a mess on my cock!” he encouraged, his own thrusts becoming sloppy as he approached his high.

“Yes! Fuck yes! Osferth, oh my god!” you screamed, your eyes shutting tightly as the heat consumed your body. Your legs shook as they instinctually wrapped tightly around his waist while your orgasm consumed you.

“Oh god, my beautiful girl! So fuckin’ pretty when you cum for me! Holy shit! Fuck!” he moaned, pressing his hips tightly against yours, making sure not to waste a single drop of his seed.

Your highs slowly began to fade and you finally let your eyes flutter open only to see Osferth smiling down at you with a dopey grin on his face.

“What are you smiling at, my love?” you asked, reaching up to stroke your fingers over his cheek.

“My girlfriend.” he smirked. “My beautiful, gorgeous, perfect girlfriend.”

“Osferth, I love you so much.” you whispered, a smile gracing your features.

He gently pulled out of you, causing you to wince at the oversensitivity. He used his t-shirt to gently clean you up before pulling on his hoodie and pants and helping you redress. Both of you climbed back in the front seats, giggling every time the two of you made eye contact. 

The drive back to the house was short but the two of you managed to make yourselves look presentable before walking inside. Finan, Uhtred, and Sihtric all looked towards you as you both entered the living room.

“What took you two so long? I was expectin’ ya’ home like an hour ago.” Finan asked, raising an eyebrow at the both of you.

“It just took a bit longer to close up today and we got talking and lost track of time.” you hurriedly explained, giving your brother a smile.

“Glad to see you two getting along so well.” Sihtric smirked. Your eyes went wide and you had to force your jaw not to drop at the sheer audacity this man had. He only chuckled at your shocked expression.

“Whatcha mean, Sihtric? I think they’ve been gettin’ along jus’ fine.” Finan said, completely oblivious to Sihtric’s insinuation.

“Oh, nothing. They’ve just been spending a lot of time together. Not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m happy he seems to be keeping her occupied.” Sihtric answered. Meanwhile Uhtred’s gaze flickered between you, Osferth, and Sihtric as he tried to piece together what Sihtric was talking about.

“Look, I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight, boys.” you said, quickly turning on your heel and hauling ass upstairs, leaving Osferth with the others. You could practically feel that your face was on fire as you made it to your room.

It was about forty five minutes later when Osferth finally peeked his head into your room from the bathroom. He said he made the excuse that he was gonna give you enough time to shower before heading up to bed which is why he took so long. But it wasn’t long after he appeared that you dragged him to the bathroom to ensure he kept his promise of taking you in the shower before taking you to bed. And he definitely came through with his promise.

The next morning you had been woken up by the feeling of soft kisses against your thighs and a wet tongue parting your folds. You gasped and lifted the blanket, only to see Osferth smirking up at you.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing, Os?! The guys will be up soon!” you rushed out, not wanting to get caught in Osferth’s bed, but his mouth just felt too damn good.

“What does it look like, angel? I’m having breakfast.” he said, giving you a cheeky smile before diving nose first back into your core and making you squeal.

“Osferth! Oh fuck!”

Out in the hallway your screams of pleasure were muffled, but they were clear enough that they had your brother absolutely seething with rage. It took both Uhtred and Sihtric to hold him back and keep him from busting into Osferth’s room.

“Give me one good fuckin’ reason I shouldn’t go in there and kill him!” Finan argued, staring down the two men who blocked his doorway so he couldn’t get out.

“Hear me out, brother, but Y/N loves him. And he loves her. We shouldn’t come between that.” Sihtric tried to reason with him but with no luck.

“My best friend is fucking my baby sister! Am I supposed to be ok with that?!” 

“No one is asking you to be ok with it, just to accept it. You don’t have to be happy about it. You can be angry.” Uhtred said, holding up his hands like he was facing a cornered animal that was ready to attack. Finan huffed in annoyance and paced back and forth, not liking the situation one bit.

“Did the two of you know about this?” he asked, pointing at the two men blocking his doorway.

“No, I didn’t know a thing until just now. I had my suspicions but I never knew for certain.” Uhtred said. Finan’s gaze flicked over to Sihtric, waiting for an answer.

“Don’t be mad.” he started. “Yes, I knew.”

“How long have you known?” Finan asked, rubbing his temples in an attempt to calm down.

“About two weeks. I caught them… uh… in the act. They were downstairs at like two or three in the morning lying beneath the Christmas tree. I promised Y/N I wouldn’t tell you. I just wanted to give them time to tell you themselves.”

“You’ve know for two fuckin’ weeks and didn’t tell me? God fuckin’ dammit!” he yelled, still pacing his bedroom.

“Look at it this way.” Uhtred started. “Y/N was on a rough path and all of us were worried about her. At least if she’s with Osferth we know she’s safe. He’ll protect her. We’d all rather it be him than some random dude she’s meeting up with at a shitty motel, right?”

Finan thought about it for a moment, realizing that Uhtred was right. If you were with Osferth, you’d be safe and protected and loved. And he wouldn’t have to worry about you so damn much. But if Osferth ever hurt you�� god help his soul.

“Fine. Now let me go get some damn coffee.” he grumbled as the other two stepped out of his way. Thankfully your moans had quieted by the time he made his way past both of your rooms and downstairs.

It was maybe a half hour later when you and Osferth made your way down the stairs, only to be met with three pairs of eyes staring at you.

“Osferth, you fucking dog!” Uhtred laughed.

“What? What are you talking about?” Osferth asked, acting confused. 

“Don’t act coy. We know. Finan knows, brother. We had to talk him out of killing you earlier this morning. You two aren’t necessarily quiet.” Uhtred explained. You could feel your face grow hot before your eyes met Finan’s.

“Finan…” you started.

“Does he make you happy?” Finan asked, cutting you off. You couldn’t help but smile and move to Osferth's side, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tight.

“I’ve never been happier.” you said, giving your brother a smile in hopes he wouldn’t kill your boyfriend.

“Osferth.” Finan said, finally addressing him.

“Finan.” he answered simply.

“Out of all the women in the world it just had to be my sister, didn’t it?” Finan chuckled, shaking his head in slight disbelief.

“Yeah, man, I guess it did.” Osferth said, pulling you close. “I love her, Finan.”

You could feel your heart swell at his words and at the sight of Finan finally calming down.

“I know ya’ do, baby monk. But if you ever hurt her-” Finan started, pointing an accusatory finger at Osferth.

“You’ll kill me?” he laughed. “I’ll come to you myself and beg for you to end my life if I ever hurt her.”

You could only grin, resting your face against Osferth’s shoulder as he joked with the guys. Everyone was happy and nobody was getting killed… at least not today. And to think that tomorrow was Christmas, well, you couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present.

Tags:  @sirenofavalon​ @aryacahill​ @letmeseeyoustripp3d @slytherincursebreaker​ @justxpaulina​ @linevondensternen​ @tessgiggles​ @stillinracooncity​ @nma-nekronauta​ @dothrckis​ @definitelycrazyowl​ @schniiipsel​ @buttercup--bee​ @bloodyvalentine93​ @thelittleswanao3

[alpharaposa]

The thing is? Everybody starts out poor when they leave home (unless they get a shitload of money from their parents, which is fewer people than you think).

The GI Generation did not go straight from school into neat little “pleasant valley” houses. They fought a freakin’ war first, then half of them went to college on the GI Bill, and THEN they finally settled down to start making Baby Boomers.

Baby Boomers? A bunch went to college, a bunch went to Vietnam, and a bunch bummed around getting high without really living anywhere until they finally settled down (or died off) and started getting real jobs.

Gen X? We got soooo many thinkpieces about hanging around living with our parents because we didn’t have the scratch to move out (which is historically normal, BTW- people lived with their parents and sometimes their grandparents). Those who did had the time-honored tradition of living with roommates for the first place or two, with all the awkward steps of living with people who may not have the same hygiene standards you do. Or may feel like vodka and sunny delight is a perfectly good breakfast and trash belongs on the floor.

So, Millennials weren’t setting any new trends by having trouble paying rent and getting a car (if they even wanted one) as young adults freshly on their own. And you up and coming kids, you’re going to have to figure out some strategies, too. Roommates, living with your parents, going into debt and learning about bankruptcy... those are all normal things for twenty-somethings.

For most of our country’s existence, the big worries were child poverty and elderly poverty. Guess what? We’ve just about licked those. Kids and their parents get a lot of help, and the lone grandma out there is usually richer than her kids. Even if not, she’s got the kinds of retirement funds previous generations could only dream of.

That leaves the last form of ‘poor’, which is the young adult with almost nothing to their name, setting out to make their way in the world for the first time. Most of them are going to struggle. Some take out student loans and get through college and THEN reality hits them, but unless you were a very strange student who had a part-time job and saved a lot of money, you don’t have much of anything when you turn 18/21/24.

It takes time to accumulate wealth, be it in ‘real’ form (houses and other property) or simple cash. It’s never been easy, and the rules change as society changes. The internet and global supply chains changed things in just the last generation. COVID screwed up so much, it’s unreal, and we’re still sorting that out. I’m sorry for those of you hitting the job market right as things hit the skids- that sucks. It’s happened to my mom every time she went job hunting so far (and she’s in her 60s- sometimes it just works out that way).

Is it hard sometimes? Boy howdy. Make some friends to hang out with on the cheap, be it drinking country time lemonade and vodka instead of going to the bars or picking up hobbies less expensive than playing the latest video games.

What you’re going through is what other people go through and HAVE gone through for years and years and years. It gets easier. You’re going to have pitfalls where you screw up. Maybe you’ll have to start over once or twice. God knows my husband and I did a couple of times. Things you never learned about in school will suddenly become important, like credit ratings. The good news is that information on how to fix this stuff isn’t too hard to find these days. The bad news is that you’re going to have to do a lot of stuff that’s new or uncomfortable until you learn the ins and outs.

You’ll manage. You’ll get better at it. There are some things you’ll let go and other things you’ll hold onto. Life isn’t about having it all, it’s about learning what really matters and what you can live without. It’s about the choices you make along the way. Make those choices in a way so you can look yourself in the mirror afterwards.

Don’t set yourself up for failure by assuming it’s supposed to be easy. We’d all like it to be easy, but nobody’s figured out the magic formula to actually make it work out that way. Believe me, people have tried.

Don’t pay for job placement- good places charge the companies they head-hunt for, not you.

Libraries have programs to help you write resumes and learn to budget.

Step outside and appreciate nature a little bit- it’s free of charge and it’ll keep you sane.

[masonpelt]

Musk Avoids Good Press, No Matter What It Costs Him

Elon Musk certainly dominates headlines. Since first announcing plans to, perhaps, buy Twitter, maybe, back in April, he's remained unavoidable in the tech, media, and business press. Yet, Musk avoids good press, seemingly no matter what it costs him.

Musk is polarizing; he and his companies merit scrutiny and will earn criticism from watchdogs. But car fires, racism within Musk's companies, refusing to pay bills, and even offering an employee a horse for a handjob is not why I say Musk is bad at PR. Take a look at ElonJet.

Thanks for reading Ramblings By Mason Pelt! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

The ElonJet Saga Begins

ElonJet was one of several Twitter accounts created by Jack Sweeney that tracked the location of private jets. Sweeney created simple bots parsing data from the FAA and the ADS-B Exchange to publish the flight paths of over a dozen private jets . All of this data is public, and most of it is required by law for planes to fly.

Musk seemed very worried about this data being shared, even sending Sweeney a Twitter DM asking him to take the account down. Musk was willing to pay $5,000 to have the account removed. Sweeney, who was 19-years-old at the time, offered to take the account down in exchange for an internship at Tesla.

Sweeney had a part-time job at UberJets as a developer due to the skills he demonstrated in making these Twitter accounts. The young man getting an internship at Tesla was neither unreasonable nor much effort for Musk to set up.

The Press That Could Have Been

The full #elonjet story could have ended with Musk giving a clearly bright young man an internship and a photo op. The Musk and Sweeney story would have been compared to 12-year-old Steve Jobs cold-calling Bill Hewlett of Hewlett-Packard and landing a summer gig. It was a setup for a feel-good story and fawning media coverage.

I'm really cynical, and I cannot think of a truly negative angle to have covered Musk giving the ElonJet guy the position. A few essays about how Sweeney benefited from privilege aside, the press from ABC to ZDNet would have been positive. It was the PR equivalent of a softball question.

Musk got handed an absolute PR win but didn't take it. The ElonJet account stayed on Twitter, and from January 1, to December 11, I found no evidence of any report to law enforcement that Musk was being stalked at or around airports. I thought it possible Musk determined the account wasn't much of a security risk; I was wrong.

The PR Worst-case Scenario That Was

After buying Twitter, Musk ended up choosing the PR worst-case scenario. On November 7, after taking over management of the social network, Musk said his "commitment to free speech extends even to not banning the account following my plane."

Early in December, Sweeney claimed that the account was being suppressed. Sweeny Tweeted a screenshot seemingly showing Slack messages from inside Twitter. The screenshot showed Ella Irwin, a Twitter exec asking her team to "apply heavy VF [visibility filtering]" to the account. The screenshots are unconfirmed by third-party media.

On December 14, Twitter suspended the ElonJet account, despite the prior pledge. The social network brought back the account after imposing a new policy preventing sharing of anyone's real-time location. The account was suspended again shortly after, and Musk tweeted that a "crazy stalker" attacked a car in Los Angeles carrying his son.

Things That Probably Didn't Happen

Interestingly, the video Musk shared of the incident didn't happen near an airport unless you call a hospital helipad an "airport". Oh, and no report has been filed with the LAPD. According to a statement on December 16, from Officer Lizeth Lomeli, a police public information officer,

"LAPD's Threat Management Unit is aware of the situation and tweet by Elon Musk and is in contact with his representatives and security team. No crime reports have been filed yet,".

Musk Fan's Say Butwhatabout

Inconsistencies of Musk's story don't stop many Musk fans saying ElonJet is doxxing. Suggesting that sharing the physical location of someone's private jet based on public data isn't doxxing causes a ruckus in the peanut gallery. Many people repeat Musk's own claim that ElonJet was sharing his "real-time location". Others ask if it would be doxing to share your location and post that on Twitter.

Musk's aircraft is either at an airport, or in the air and inaccessible. The real-time location of a plane in the air or the airport it is parked pose very little ground security risk. Reductio ad absurdum of someone sharing FAA flight data on Twitter, is not a government agency keeping records of everyone's real time GPS location that someone is Tweeting.

And Who Would've Thought, It Figures

Creating a new policy in response to a logically-inconsistent story of security risk after explicitly saying you wouldn't remove an account is optically worse than giving a gifted teen an internship. But this is Musk; he can make more self-destructive PR choices.

Twitter started suspending prominent accounts. Reportedly for linking to ElonJet on other websites (only true in some cases). The accounts suspended include Linette Lopez, Keith Olbermann, Ryan Mac, Aaron Rupar, Steve Herman, Drew Harwell, Donie O'Sullivan, Matt Binder, Tony Webster, Micah Lee, among many others. Ban a bunch of reporters and generate a bunch of bad reports, as the kids say.

The real kicker to all of this; The backdrop of Musk spending the last few weeks promoting the Twitter Files. Spending weeks claiming prior management of the company you now own engaged in petty and political suppression and banning of accounts before doing the same in spades is enough to make Alanis Morissette combust spontaneously.

Originally published at https://pushroi.com on December 16, 2022.

[soramei]

From Resentment (hhj)

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader (she/her)

Summary: After a fated meeting involving a cute and fluffy puppy, you found yourself drawn to Hwang Hyunjin: the school prince. Everybody in high school loved him. It was hard not to. Not only was he rich, smart, and athletic, but he was also incredibly kind-hearted.

However, one day seemingly out of the blue, everything that you thought Hyunjin was came crashing down.

Now a freshman in university, you were excited to live out your dreams. That was, until Hyunjin came hurtling back into your life like an uncontrolled meteor. His presence threw a curveball on all your plans, and would eventually change your perspective on everything that you thought you knew.

Genre: studentl!hyunjin au, angst, enemies to lovers

Warnings: cursing, tw puking

Word Count: 8.8k

Masterlist

A/N: Not an Intentional update but a hyunjin oneshot!! disclaimer: no aspect of hyunjins personality here was drawn from real life — irl hyunjin is a ray of sunshine <3

You looked at your math homework, proud that you got all the answers correct. Since it was a slow afternoon at your job today, you had extra time to focus on your homework. The boss at the convenience store you worked at allowed you to have your homework out, as long as it was hidden behind the cash register.

As you stared at the rest of your homework, you started to feel the weight of tenth grade pile up on you. Because it was your first year of high school, you were still trying to adjust to everything; your grades, your teachers, and all the new students walking around the halls.

You stuffed the rest of your homework in your backpack. It was the end of your shift, and you wanted to go home as soon as possible to start with the rest of your studying. Crap. No matter how hard you tried to zip up your backpack, it wouldn’t close. After trying one more time, the zipper tore from your backpack.

You cursed under your breath. You couldn’t afford to buy a new backpack right now.

You had just been able to afford your new school uniform by taking up extra shifts at the convenience store, and you still needed money for your grandmother’s prescriptions. You sighed, annoyed to have another monetary stressor weighing on your shoulders.

Walking outside with your now torn backpack, your eyes widened at the group of boys in front of you. You immediately recognized them from behind.

The school princes. These three seniors were all known for three things: being extremely smart, handsome, and talented.

On the left was Seungmin, and from what you’ve heard, he was the smart and quiet one. He was always helping the teachers, being the class president and all. Any time a girl or a boy needed academic help, Seungmin was there and happy to assist.

The person on the right was Jisung. With his charming and charismatic personality, he had dated tens upon tens of girls in his grade. Just in the last year. It helped that he was really good looking — and also stinkin’ rich. His father was a notorious restaurateur, and with him being the first son, he was basically given unlimited spending rights.

The only person richer than Jisung was the boy in the center of them both: Hwang Hyunjin. This boy was the school prince. The prince of princes. He somehow managed to participate in music clubs, engage in study groups, and captain the soccer team all the while keeping up excellent grades. Every girl that Jisung had dated was said to have been rejected by Hyunjin first. That was his only flaw: he was notoriously cold to any and all romantic confessions.

You followed behind the three princes, staring at your torn up sneakers. You knew you didn’t exist in their world, but even being near three handsome and rich teenage boys made you nervous.

Suddenly, you heard a whimper coming from behind a bush to the left of you. It sounded like a hurt animal.

Worried and curious, you walked over to the bush to see what it was.

It was a puppy. Small and fluffy, it looked up at you with it’s beady black eyes and cried out. His paw was bleeding.

You panicked. Having never seen a hurt puppy before, you had no idea what to do. You called out for help.

“Help!” you cried, hoping that somebody had heard your call for help. You desperately wanted to help this hurt puppy, but you hesitated to touch it, afraid that you would hurt the animal even more.

The puppy howled in pain, making your panic rise. You were about to call out for help again, when you heard somebody running up behind you.

“What is it?” The voice asked.

“I-I don’t know. I just saw this dog here, and-and his paw is bleeding,” you anxiously stuttered.

“Here, let me take a look.”

You heard the voice behind you, so you shuffled over to make room.

It was Hwang Hyunjin. The person that responded to your cry for help was the most popular and well-liked person in the school. You were shocked, a bit intimidated actually, so you silently moved to the side for him. His black hair shone in the sunlight as he bent down to examine the dog.

“Come here, boy,” he chirped. The puppy listened, and started limping to him. “Something hurt you, didn’t it.”

He stood up, picking the puppy up along with him.

“C’mon,” he gestured with his head, “my vet isn’t too far from here actually. We can make it by walking.”

You silently nodded and followed him.

He was right. The walk to the veterinarian clinic, though very awkward, wasn’t too far. The clinic was empty at this time of day, with the receptionist being the only person in the room.

“Hyunjin! Always a pleasure,” the receptionist beamed. It seemed like Hyunjin’s likeability wasn’t only confined to your school. “My, what do we have here?”

“There’s something wrong with his paw,” Hyunjin tried to show the receptionist where the blood was coming from, “is the doctor free right now?”

“As a matter of fact, he is,” the receptionist said whilst checking the schedule. “I’ll take this little boy to the back where he can get prepped for the veterinarian.”

Hyunjin handed the puppy carefully to the receptionist. The receptionist took out a crate for the dog, put him in, and then disappeared through the back door. The two of you were now left alone in the waiting room.

“Uhm,” you coughed, “thank you. I know you probably want to get back to your friends, so you can leave now.”

“No, I’ll stay,” he looked at you and smiled, “those idiots are just playing LOL at the PC room anyways. Plus, I want to see how this little boy turns out.”

You smiled back at him, nodding your head. A few moments of awkward silence passed.

“I’m Hyunjin by the way,” he said.

“I know. I’m Y/n.”

“You’re in your first year, right?” he said, looking at the colour of your uniform.

“Yeah, it’s so hard to get used to though. I’m trying my best with my homework, but I think this school stuff just doesn’t click with me,” you rambled.

“Oh?”

“I want to go into dance. I’ve never been able to afford professional lessons, but I’ve always wanted to go to university for dance. My grandparents said they would let me if my school grades were high.” You didn’t know why you were giving your life story to Hyunjin. He just had this natural charisma that made you want to spill everything to him. It was the way he looked at you with those cat-like eyes.

“I know what you mean. It took me forever to convince my parents for me to major in dance. I got in by early admittance, but I’m sure they still have their reservations about my major.”

“You’re majoring in dance?” you asked, eyes wide.

He smiled. “I’ve loved dancing ever since I could remember. It’s my passion, and truthfully, the only thing I’ve got going for me.”

You were shocked. At school, Hyunjin was known for so many things other than dancing. Hell, you didn’t even know he enjoyed dancing and you thought you’d heard everything about him already.

The two of you chatted for a while longer before the vet came out with the now happy looking dog.

“It seemed like this little guy got into a fight with something, and he got a pretty large gash on his paw. Luckily, it wasn’t bleeding too much so I just gave him some anaesthetic and stitched it right up.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank god he isn’t too hurt.”

“Yes, it’s good that it wasn’t too bad,” the veterinarian agreed. “I’m assuming this is your dog? As soon as you finish with the bill, I can release this little guy and the both of you are ready to go.”

Oh yeah. The bill.

Although you knew you couldn’t afford to pay the vet bill, you didn’t know where this little dog would go if you couldn’t take him home. You did the mental calculations, and if you worked some extra shifts, you could probably be able to pick up the bill today. Buying a new backpack could be saved for another day.

“Sure, where can I pay?” you asked.

“Just over by the receptionist.” The veterinarian pointed.

You walked over to the receptionist, and she handed the bill over to you.

You almost fainted.

Just the anaesthetic and the stitches alone cost over two hundred dollars. This was extremely over your budget, and probably even more than the amount in your savings. You felt uneasy.

“Uhm, actually, I don’t think I can-”

“Do you take cash?”

Hyunjin had interrupted you, walked up to the receptionist, and pulled out his wallet. He peaked over your shoulder and took out a huge wad of cash to hand to the receptionist.

“Hyunjin, you don’t have to,” you begged. You felt bad that this guy you didn’t even know had just offered to cover you for over two hundred dollars.

“Think of it as a good luck gift from a fellow dancer.” He smiled.

That was when it clicked. You didn’t know what clicked, but it just did. It was his smile. It was the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up and how the corners of his lips pinched at the end. You now understood why all the girls at school were in love with him. He was quite literally perfect.

You thanked him profusely, even after the two of you had left the clinic. With the dog in your hand, you walked side by side with Hyunjin.

“So,” he started, “have you thought of a name for this guy yet?”

Oh yeah — he was your dog now. “Hmm, I don’t know yet.”

“What about Coco?”

“Coco?”

“Yeah, let’s see if he likes it.” Hyunjin leaned in and cooed at the little puppy. “Hi, little Coco!”

The puppy’s eyes lit up, and with his tongue stretched out, he started panting.

“I guess he likes it,” Hyunjin smiled. God, his smile could melt all of Antarctica.

“Coco it is.” You poked at Coco’s nose.

Hyunjin was about to say something back to you when his phone buzzed. He took a peak, rolled his eyes, then smiled. “My friends are god awful at games. I swear, they can’t even win one round without me. You’re okay with going home alone?”

He was going to walk you home? Could he be any more perfect?

You nodded your head. “Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll pay you back for the bill one day.”

“No need,” he winked. “Like I said, it’s a good luck gift. Oh, and you can ask me if you need help with any school work. Anything to help a fellow dancer.”

He waved goodbye, then went running off in the other direction. You held Coco close to you, heart pounding. Although you didn’t want to be like all the other girls who fell for him, you felt like you were already falling for Hyunjin.

-

The next day, you had planned to go shopping for dog supplies after school. After a really long and arduous debate with yourself, you decided to sacrifice all of your savings in order to buy everything that Coco needed. You knew Hyunjin owned a dog himself, so throughout the whole day, you worked up the nerve to ask Hyunjin to come with you.

At the end of last period, you gathered all your stuff from your desk and headed to the soccer field where you knew Hyunjin and his friends would be. Whilst you crossed the field, you noticed Jisung staring at you. You found his stare intimidating, but you tried to brush it off. He then whispered something in Hyunjin’s ear.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” you said anxiously, biting your lip. “Umm, do you want to come with me to shop for Coco?”

He stared at you for a couple seconds, then, a look of disgust appeared on his face. “Why? So you can use my wallet again?”

You stared back at him, wide eyed. Who was this person? It wasn’t the Hyunjin that so graciously helped you out yesterday.

“W-what? No!” you exclaimed. “I-I just wanted your opinion…”

“Sure,” Hyunjin smirked coldly, “opinion my ass.”

“Hyunjin,” tears were pooling in your eyes, “I don’t understand.”

“If you need money so much, here.” He reached in his pocket and turned up a wad of cash, throwing it at your feet. “Just don’t come to me next time. And buy yourself a new pair of shoes while you’re at it.”

You looked down at the money, trying to hold back your tears. Why was Hyunjin being like this? You didn’t understand. His two jockeys beside him didn’t even bother to stop him. As you tried to stop yourself from crying, you felt your sadness turn into rage.

“I don’t need your stupid money,” you said, kicking the cash back to him. “Maybe you can use your daddy’s money to buy yourself a new personality.”

Hyunjin’s two friends tried to hold back their snickers at your words. Hyunjin heard, turned around, and gave them both death stares.

You didn’t bother to listen to whatever he was going to say next and simply stomped away, rage burning inside you. Everything about him was a lie. His charming and charismatic personality, his generosity, his kindness. They were all lies. He really was nothing but a rich, spoiled boy living with his father’s money.

There was rage behind every step you took. Wiping away your tears, you headed to your locker. You didn’t need him anyways; it was better to realize his true personality earlier rather than later. Hands shaking from anger, you dialed the combination to your locker.

“Hey, sorry about what happened earlier.” A voice came from behind you. “He can be a real jerk sometimes.”

It was Jisung. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to see him either.

“Why didn’t you do anything about it then?” Your voice came out shaky. It was obvious that you had cried.

“Once he starts, there’s no stopping him. It’s usually better to let him finish uninterrupted, or else he will get more mad.”

“Oh,” you said. Your hatred for Hyunjin grew even more.

“I could come with you, though. I don’t know much about dogs, but I can help you carry your bags.”

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon, no way you can carry everything by yourself.”

You hesitated. “Okay, I guess.”

And so, you left for the pet store with Jisung, still confused about everything that had happened. It was strange with him. He was nice and cracked a joke every now and then, but it was just different from being with Hyunjin. At least he was nice, you thought.

Your trip went well. You managed to buy everything you needed for Coco. In a turn of events, Jisung had actually come in handy as he offered to carry the huge bag of dog food you bought. He even offered to buy you a coffee.

“Thanks for all your help, Jisung.” You stood outside the door of your apartment, smiling at him.

“No problem, gives me an excuse to work out my guns.” He pretended to flex his arms.

You choked back a laugh.

“You should get going now. It’s late,” you said.

“Alright,” he started to leave. “Hey, if you see me in the halls, feel free to say hi.”

You nodded and waved to him as he turned and walked away, remembering his words. Every time you saw Jisung in the school hallways, you gave him a small wave in which he happily returned. However, whenever you saw him walking with Hyunjin, you made sure to purposely avoid them. You didn’t want any negativity in your life.

You kept up the waves, and soon, waves turned to small conversations which soon turned to flirting. By the end of the semester, you and Jisung somehow ended up as a couple. Jisung was polite and sweet, unlike a certain person. With every free moment you had, you hung out with Jisung — all the while avoiding Hyunjin.

The two of you stayed a couple for the rest of Jisung’s senior year. Somehow, the two of you had even kept up your relationship throughout your whole high school experience. It was hard at times as he went to university, but with a lot of effort, you had made your relationship work out. You barely had time to talk with him, but you enjoyed the little time that you did have. Jisung had never even once mentioned Hyunjin when you were together, and with time, you had totally forgotten about that jerk. You weren’t even sure if they were still friends.

You worked hard in school and reaped all the benefits. Your rank had consistently been in the top twenties amongst all the other students, and you even had time to practice your dancing. You remembered the day that you received your acceptance letter from university. Hands shaking, you had barely managed to open the letter all the way before you screamed. You had gotten into university with your dream major: dance.

Because of your excellent grades, you were able to pay a lot of your tuition with scholarship money alone. You hesitantly decided to quit your job at the convenience store to focus on university. Although quitting meant that your bank account would take a big hit, you decided that it would be best in the long run. There was a lot in your savings, and you even had a little extra to buy a new outfit for your first day of school.

Jisung had been busy on the first day of university. He had previously promised to show you around campus, but with him being a no-show, you wandered around by yourself to try to find your classes. You had trouble with the campus map at first, but after walking around for a bit, you were able to find all your classes with ease.

Your first few classes were a snore. Because they were all theory, you had to down two cups of coffee in order to stay awake. Somehow, you managed to take coherent notes despite being bored out of your mind. You just wanted to dance.

The good thing was, after sitting through many classes, your time to dance finally came. Your last class of the day was an introduction to dance course, and you couldn’t wait to go. You wanted to know your teacher, your peers, and most importantly, express yourself.

The dance class was in a studio in the university’s fitness center. It was huge, way bigger than the tiny gym in your high school. Upon entering the studio, you were immediately met with the sight of students, exactly like you, already stretching. You chose a spot in the room and started stretching as well, making good use of your time before the instructor comes in.

After some time, most of the students — including you — had finished stretching and were sitting in silence waiting for the instructor. The door swung open, breaking the silence. The instructor had come in.

“Hello new students,” he said, “welcome to Dance 100. Today, I will go through the curriculum with you as well as introduce your final project.”

The instructor whipped out a projection of the curriculum and started explaining the purpose of the course, what you would be graded on, and how you would be graded. He then read through his class expectations before moving to your final project.

“This final project will act in place of a final exam,” he explained. “You will be required to create a dance that includes everything we’ve learned in class and write an essay explaining all the elements in your dance. It will be worth half your grade.”

The class gasped in surprise. Not only did this project sound extremely difficult for a first year course, but the fact that it was worth half your grade made it borderline unfair.

“I know it might seem difficult, but worry not, you won’t be doing this alone. Every year, the first year dance students get mentored by the third year dance students for the final project. Each student has already been assigned a random mentor which will be introduced this class.”

The whole class murmured, talking amongst themselves and expressing their opinions on this project. It was definitely an interesting project. You hoped that you would be paired with a good mentor that would actually care about how well you did.

There was a knock on the door.

“Ah, this must be them.” Your instructor opened the door and a wave of third years came flooding in. Each one of them had a name tag pinned on their shirts. “Class, these are the third year students.”

You all politely greeted them.

“Now,” the instructor continued, “I will put the class list on the projector, and each of your names will correspond to a third year mentor.”

The instructor put out the list for display. You scanned down the list of names, eventually finding yours. Following the dots to your corresponding mentor, you almost choked on air when you saw yours.

It was Hwang Hyunjin.

You were at a loss for words. Just when you thought he was out of your life forever, the man that was so incredibly mean to you — the man you hated with your whole soul — was now your mentor. Just the thought of being in the same room as him filled you with disgust.

You scanned the sea of third year students, and your eyes immediately found him. He was staring back at you with the same shocked expression that you had on.

He looked different. Not only had he grown taller, but he had lost all his baby fat as well. His hair was different too. It was bleached blond and it almost hit his shoulders. What was the same, however, was his intense stare and his plump lips.

You walked over to him.

“You look different.” His eyes scanned up and down.

“So do you.” You clenched your jaw and sighed. “I guess we have to work together.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said flatly.

“Listen,” you copied his tone, “I’m not excited about this either, but I want to get a good grade for this class. If you don’t wanna help me, just say so and I’ll just work alone on this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he rolled his eyes, “this is part of my grade too. I can’t let you fuck this up for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes back at him and pressed your lips in a thin line. Ignoring what he said, you asked, “where do we start?”

“Let’s find a time to meet every week.” He pulled out the newest iPad model from his bag. Of course he would have the newest iPad. “I’m busy every day except Saturday, so let’s meet then.”

Way to consider your opinion. He was lucky that you weren’t busy on the weekends.

As Hyunjin worked on sorting his schedule, you took your time to look at how he had changed. With his hair blonde, he looked like a completely different person. You didn’t understand why he kept his hair long though. It kept falling in his eyes.

“Stop staring at me. It’s freaking me out.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“I wasn’t.” You crossed your arms, defending yourself.

“Whatever.” He tucked his hair behind his ear and put his iPad back in his bag. “Don’t be late on Saturday.”

And with that, he left. You looked around the class. Most of the other students were still with their mentors, presumably getting to know each other and discussing the project. You almost wanted to ask your instructor to switch with somebody else, but that would mean passing on the nightmare known as Hwang Hyunjin onto a perfectly innocent person. You had your moments, but you weren’t evil.

The interaction with Hyunjin had left you in a sour mood for the rest of the day. You tried to study, but you were too distracted by the thought of having to work with that monstrosity for a whole semester. It was worth so much of your grade, too. You had just hoped that Hyunjin was as good at dance as he previously told you. You remembered him saying how dance was his passion in life. That was when you still liked him. Who knows, maybe he only said that so he could play you like every other girl he played with.

For the rest of the week, whenever you thought of the dance project, you were filled with dread. You tried to ignore it, and sometimes it worked, but most of the time it kept reappearing in your mind like a virus. The way Hyunjin had infected your mind bothered you to no end.

Time passed fast though, and before you knew it, Saturday had already come. Searching through your closet, you picked out a simple outfit for practice today. You slid on your tattered old sneakers and headed off to the studio that Hyunjin had told you to go to.

Entering the dance studio, you noticed that you were right on time. However, Hyunjin was not. Great… He made such a big deal over you being on time that he himself forgot to be punctual. You sat on the wood floors and started to do some stretches to warm up.

Eventually, after you finished your stretching, he entered the studio. With a girl. Holding a textbook, Hyunjin handed it to the girl and put on his signature deceitful smile. His ugly, perfect smile. The girl batted her eyes and waved her fingers goodbye before strolling out the door. You rolled your eyes at this, feeling bad for the girl. Hyunjin was playing her right in front of her own eyes and she didn’t even realize it.

“Were you really late because of a girl?” you sneered.

“Why do you care?” he retorted, flinging his bag to the corner of the room.

“I don’t.”

“Sure you don’t.”

Not wanting to waste time with that childish banter, you decided to end the conversation then and there. “Okay, well anyways, I’ll show you what I learned in class this week.”

Hooking up your phone to the speaker, you chose the song that you’ve been practicing with for the whole week. As the song progressed, you found it hard to not get lost in the music. Just dancing was the easy part; incorporating everything learned in class was another story. Although it was fairly difficult, you thought you executed everything very well as the song came to an end. Finishing up, you panted from exhaustion and looked at Hyunjin for his comments.

He stood, with his arms crossed across his torso, leaning against the speaker. There was a blank expression on his face.

“Not bad.” He started to walk up to you.

“But?”

“But you’re too stiff. You’re too focused on perfectly executing the technical moves that you forget to just move your body. Do what you did half-way through the song again.”

You turned the music on, trying to do the dance with Hyunjin’s criticisms in mind. Looking in the mirror, you did your best to show as much emotion as possible, all the while moving more fluidly. The room was filled with heavy bass and the squeaks from your sneakers.

Suddenly, the music was abruptly cut off.

Hyunjin had stopped the music and was making his way over, face still unreadable.

“You’re still trying too hard and it shows.” Hyunjin shook his head.

Clenching your jaw, you did your best to hold back your anger. Were you just not supposed to try? This annoyed you. Just because he didn’t need to try to be good at anything didn’t mean you couldn’t.

“Well,” you tried to say calmly, “how can I do this then?”

“You have to relax.” He put one hand on your hip and started to guide you. “Don’t focus on each individual aspect, but try to imagine everything as a whole. Then, things will come naturally.”

You followed his hand, allowing Hyunjin to guide you to his own rhythm. After a while, every movement felt so fluid and you didn’t even notice that your face started to match your movements. Glancing at your reflection, you gasped, noticing how different your dancing looked. You whipped your head to face Hyunjin, the two of your inches apart and breathing heavily.

“See,” he mumbled, looking down at you. “Once you stop thinking, everything just comes naturally.”

You looked back at the person inches away from you. It almost felt as if he was being kind. But you knew the type of person he was. You weren’t going to let this happen again. Snapping out of what weird trance you were in, you pushed him away in an act of self perseverance.

He didn’t say anything.

“I’ll try again,” you said.

Hyunjin strolled over to the speaker and turned on the music. This time, you didn’t think about anything you learned in class or Hyunjin’s criticisms. You just trusted in your body. Everything else was blank.

Taking a step forward while still in your trance, your shoe lost its grip on the floor, causing you to fall right on your knee. You cried in pain, holding on to your knee.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin hissed. He ran over and bent down to your level. “Can you move it?”

“I think so.” You tried to straighten your knee. It hurt, but you were still able to do it. There would most likely be a nasty bruise there the next morning.

“You’re still wearing those scraps that you call shoes? They’re literally coming apart at the seams. This is going to happen again if you don’t get new ones.”

You blushed in embarrassment from his remarks. “I’m not going to spend money on things that I don’t need.”

“Well, you need shoes. Just go buy a new pair later.”

Was he being serious? Or was he just spoiled?

“Hyunjin, not everybody can just go spend money whenever they want,” you loudly sighed. “Unlike you, I need to consider my budget for most things.”

“Well, why can’t you ask your boyfriend to buy it?” he sneered. “Seems like you’re good at doing that.”

How did he know you were still dating Jisung? What did he mean by ‘good at doing that’?

“What?” You crossed your eyebrows. “Do you think I’m with him just for his money? Do I really look like that kind of person to you?”

“You used me for my money,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What?” You couldn’t hear him right.

“Nevermind, rehearsal's over.” He stomped off, leaving you alone in the practice room holding on to your injured knee.

-

You busied yourself with everything and anything you could do over the weekend in order to forget what happened during rehearsal. However, no matter how hard you tried to forget, Hyunjin’s comments on your shoes stuck in your mind like glue.

During your shift at your job, you couldn’t help but keep staring at your worn sneakers. You never paid attention to your shoes before until now. They did the job, so why would you need to buy a new pair? Still, you unconsciously paid attention to every step you took.

On Monday’s dance class, you decided to go early. It was always nice to warm up in a room with other try-hards. They felt less judgemental than the others.

The studio barely had anybody in it this early before class. Everybody was either stretching or had already started going over what was taught last week. Shuffling your way over to your locker, you couldn’t help but compare everybody else’s shoes to your own. You’ve never cared about trivial matters such as shoes, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious as your worn-in sneakers squeaked its way over to the lockers.

Opening your locker, your eyes widened, shocked at what you saw. Inside was a box containing a brand new pair of sneakers. It was an expensive brand as well, a brand that you never thought you would be touching in your life. You turned your head around, scanning the room. Everybody seemed to have been busy with their own thing.

Did somebody put these in your locker by mistake?

Taking the shoes out, you noticed a small slip of paper fly out. You picked up the note.

Keep these. I was a jerk.

You knew who had sent this. It was Hyunjin. You didn’t know what game he was trying to play at, but you weren’t going to fall for it like you did that day in high school. Gingerly putting the shoes back in your locker, you decided to return these back to Hyunjin at your next practice.

-

“No, I gave them to you as a gift.” Hyunjin turned his nose up at you, refusing to take back the shoes.

“Why would you give these to me if you think that I only use people for their money?”

“Because,” he rolled his eyes, “if you’re unable to dance then my grade is screwed as well.”

He made a good point, but you were stubborn. “Still…”

“You know what? Keep it, give it away, sell it, I don’t care. Let’s just start practice.”

After that dance practice, you threw your old shoes in the trash.

-

It was midterm season a month into school. You thought you had gone to hell and back with high school, but this was even worse. Each day consisted of waking up, studying, and going back to sleep. You lived on coffee and toast. It wasn’t much, but it gave you the energy to sit at the library for hours to study.

You didn’t see anybody during the midterm season, Instead, you chose to hermit yourself up at the library for days on end. This meant that, at least for a couple of weeks, your dance practice with Hyunjin was put on hiatus. Not that he minded, of course. He happily deleted the practices from his schedule.

You also didn’t see much of your boyfriend, Jisung. Ever since school started, he seemed to always be missing in action. He would almost never have time to be with you, and with the few moments that he was, it seemed like he was always so apathetic towards you. You brushed this off as stress though, as you finally knew what it was like to experience university exams.

It was a clear and sunny day on the morning you finished your last midterm. Leaving the exam room, you looked up to the sky, basking in the sun. Today was going to be a good day. Not only were you now stress free, but you were also invited to an end-of-midterm party for your dance class tonight. You had never gone to a university party before, so when a classmate asked if you wanted to go, you eagerly accepted.

Wrapping up your dance class, you stood at your locker, gathering the rest of your stuff.

“Hey.” An arm wrapped around you.

“Hey, Jisung.” You smiled, turning around to face him.

“You’re done all your midterms?”

“Yup.” You nodded happily.

He took a look at your shoes.

“New shoes?”

You hesitated in answering his question, not knowing where Jisung was with Hyunjin in terms of friendship. It was better to be truthful now rather than apologizing later.

“Hyunjin gave it to me.” You looked down, fiddling with your fingers. Why were you afraid of Jisung’s response?

“Wait, what? Hwang Hyunjin? Like from high school? Y/n, I thought you hated him.”

“I did! And I do,” you tried to explain, “but he had a reason to give me this.”

“Bullshit, Y/n. You’re really gonna believe any reason he pulls out of his ass? I thought you actually matured from high school.”

“Well, you would understand if you were around more often!” you yelled. You knew it was wrong to address other problems and blow this out of proportion, but you couldn’t think straight. Your mind was clouded with anger.

“What does this have to do with anything?” Jisung barked back. “What we’re talking about is how you, no matter how shitty of a person Hyunjin is, keep going back to him! Y/n, all that man does is take. He takes from you and he sure as hell takes everything from me. I won’t let that happen this time.”

When had he taken anything from you? All he had done was give.

“Jisung, let’s end this.”

“You’re right. Let’s cool down and talk later tonight.”

“No,” you shook your head, “I mean, let's end us.”

Jisung looked at you in disgust. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

“No,” you vehemently denied, “Jisung, you never have time for me, and the little time we do have together you act like a different person. And now you’re being all possessive just because Hyunjin gave me a gift? I’m sorry, I just don’t see us recovering from this.”

“Fine, whatever.” Jisung turned around. “We’re done. But Y/n, don’t come running back to me when Hyunjin screws you over like he does with everybody.”

After Jisung left, you stomped your foot on the ground, tears pooling in your eyes. It was for the best — breaking up with him. For the past month, you hadn’t been happy with where your relationship was going, but this wasn’t the way you wanted to end an almost three year relationship.

Wiping away your tears, you tried to compose yourself before heading over to the pub. Jisung wasn’t worth the tears.

The walk to the pub wasn’t far as every establishment catered to students was a short walking distance from campus. For your entire walk over, you kept your head down so as to not receive looks from others. The headache from your cries and a blush of anger still lingered with you. Hopefully you’ll look somewhat normal by the time you reach the bar.

Checking your reflection once more in your phone camera, you fixed your hair a bit before going inside.

The bar was filled.

With students from both your dance class and the third year class, there was not an empty corner in sight. The music was loud, but the sounds of chatter coming from the students were louder. The place was dark, with the only source of light coming from very dim, bright blue LEDs.

It was surprising to see everybody in a different setting. You were used to the sight of your classmates being only in sweats and workout clothes, but now that they actually had time to get ready, everybody seemed like a completely different person.

You saw a few of your classmates wave at you, beckoning you over to where they were sitting. As soon as your butt landed on the chair, they spared no time to push a shot glass filled with clear liquor in front of you. You gladly took the drink, wanting to just let go and forget about everything that happened today. Holding back a cough, you scrunched your face as you felt the alcohol burn in your throat. It had been so long since the last time you drank.

After five you stopped counting. Partly because you knew you were going to drink more, but mostly because your head couldn’t even count to five anymore. Scrunching your eyes, you tried to focus on the blurry figure of your classmate complaining about her professor. Bored out of your mind as her mindless babble went on forever, your eyes started roaming around the bar. As your eyes wandered, you noticed somebody behind your classmate staring at you.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Even in your inebriated state of mind, you knew that it was Hyunjin. What other university student had the balls to bleach their whole head blonde? Your eyes met, and he ran a hand through his golden locks. Why do the most beautiful people harbour the most wretched personalities?

You tried to ignore his staring by focusing your attention back on your classmate, but eventually, you couldn’t help but glance back at him. He was still looking at you.

You saw a girl come up to him. She was the same girl that showed up with him on your first ever practice session. Because of the dimly lit bar and your drunken vision impairment, you had to really squint to make out what was going on. The girl, all smiley and giggly, put her hand on his shoulder, making Hyunjin break his eye contact with you. He smiled at the girl, mouthing words that were drowned out by the music. For some reason, this made you furious. Why was he so nice to everybody else but you? What had you ever done to him to make him hate you so much?

You kept your eyes on the girl, knowing full well that you shouldn’t have. You hated that — even on your night off, even when you had just broken up with your boyfriend — Hyunjin was still in your mind like an unkillable parasite. You hated the way he tucked his hair behind his ears. You hated how the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her. You hated him.

You watched as she leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing him to laugh. That was the last straw. In a drunken haze, you took your phone and bolted out the door, ignoring the concerns of all your classmates. Maybe it had been a mistake breaking up with Jisung. Maybe he really did know what was best for you.

Stumbling out onto the street, you tried to dial Jisung’s phone number. It proved to be too difficult of a task, however, as your drunken fingers could only tap on random numbers on the screen. You cried out of frustration.

“Y/n.”

The voice coming from behind you startled you, causing you to lose your grip on the phone. It dropped on the cement with a loud crack. Tears welled up in your eyes as you bent down to pick up your phone. There was a huge crack right down the middle of the screen.

“You cracked my phone,” you said, trying to keep your composure.

“So? It’s not like it’s worth much anyways. Just ask your boyfriend to buy you one.” Hyunjin’s evil eyes squinted down at you.

“Why are you still on about this? Hyunjin, I’ve never used anybody for money and I never will!” You couldn’t control the tears flowing down your face. “Plus, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I broke up with Jisung today.”

You didn’t know why you were spilling your guts to the last man in the world you would trust. Surely, it was the alcohol.

“Y/n.” His tone had completely changed. He almost looked — concerned?

“Whatever, Hyunjin,” you slurred. “Just leave me alone. You can go back to that girl and have your fun with her.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.”

“Y/n, why do you care?” His tone got louder.

“I don’t!” you yelled at him. Your tears made everything even more blurry.

“Y/n! Tell me, why do you care?!” He spat back at you with just as much fury.

“Fuck you, Hyunjin. News flash, not everything in the world revolves around you and your rich and prestigious life. Maybe you wouldn’t be so toxic if you would just understand that.” You screamed at him through your sobs. “Also, I don’t know where you got this stupid story of my being a cash whore from, but I will say this one last time: I have worked for everything in my life and I have never and will never use anybody for their money.”

Hyunjin looked back at you, shocked. You stared back at him in disgust. Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, you stumbled down the street to look for a taxi. However, as you wobbled down the pavement, everything became even blurrier than before. You felt nauseous. You couldn’t control it anymore.

You threw up. All over the sidewalk. You couldn’t stop. Every time you thought that it was over, more and more came out. Your throat burned, and it wasn’t just the alcohol.

As you hurled out all the remains of today’s lunch, your hair was held back.

“Get away from me, Hyunjin,” you groaned. You didn’t want him to see you this weak.

“Who else is gonna take care of your drunk ass, idiot,” he mumbled.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

-

It was a blinding white light that woke you up. You groaned, trying to block the light with your forearm. Cracking your neck, you tried to holster yourself up.

You were on a leather couch. Squinting, you surveyed the room you were in. It was clean, spacious. The floor was a white marble — there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be seen. Across from you was an incredibly wide TV with many game consoles scattered around it. You looked behind you. There was a large kitchen island illuminated by warm pendant lights. Sitting at the island, on his laptop, was Hyunjin.

“Wh-what happened to me?”

“You’re the worst fucking drinker I’ve ever seen, that’s what happened.”

You rolled your eyes.

Hyunjin ignored you, standing up and leaving for another room. Less than a minute later, he reappeared with a toothbrush and a roll of toothpaste.

“Go clean up. You look disgusting.”

You snatched the toothbrush from his hands. He pointed over to the bathroom and you trudged your way over. His bathroom was huge, almost bigger than your bedroom at home. You felt as if you were in a hotel.

“Your bathroom is huge.” After washing up, you felt not only cleaner, but more awake. “You’re really living the life with your family’s money, huh.”

Hyunjin sighed, slamming his laptop shut causing you to flinch. “Why, after everything, do you think I’m this rich, pretentious fuck?”

You rolled your eyes. Not this again. “Well, why do you still think I’m this money hungry monster?”

“You really wanna know why, Y/n? It’s because Jisung told me so. He was the one who told me that all those years ago.”

You were shocked. Jisung was the one who told him that? Your ex-boyfriend that you had loved and dated for almost three years? You didn’t want to believe it, you really didn’t, but there was this tiny whisper in the back of your mind telling you that it was true. He had a reason to — Jisung was always going on about how Hyunjin always took from him.

“But Y/n, I-” He stopped mid-sentence.

“You what, Hyunjin?”

He pressed his lips to yours, caressing the back of your head. You were shocked, but almost autonomously, your lips parted feeling the heat of his breath against yours. He pressed his body to yours, running his hand down your waist. His lips, the same lips responsible for his perfect smile, felt so soft against your own. You heard the thuds of his heartbeat as he held you closer.

You broke apart, gasping for breath. The realization of what you had done just hit you.

In a panic, you used your whole strength to push his body away from you. “I-I have to go.”

“Y/n, wait!” Hyunjin called.

You paid him no attention. Instead, you ran across the marble floors, hoisted the front door open, and sprinted out. Hoping that Hyunjin wasn’t following you, found your way outside and took a taxi home.

You sat in silence, trying to process what had just happened. You had just kissed Hyunjin. You had just kissed Hyunjin. Hands shaking, you grasped at the ends of your hair, trying to calm yourself down. Did that just happen?

You were more mad at yourself than at him. How could you have just kissed Hyunjin? You hated him. He was nothing but rude to you, never smiling and always accusing you of things that were clearly lies. He made you feel self conscious, nervous, and everything in between. You hated him.

But he was so sweet on that fateful day in high school. He gave you a new pair of shoes when you had slipped during practice, and he held your hair for you when you were drunk. His hair glistened in the sunlight, his smile made your heart race, and his lips ignited sparks of every colour in the rainbow in your chest.

You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated how fast you became infatuated with him on that day in high school, and no matter how much you tried to deny it, you hated that your feelings haven’t changed ever since. You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated that you loved him.

Curling up in your bed, there was no stopping the tears flowing down your face. You cried and cried upon this realization, and you remained this way for the rest of the day. The effect Hyunjin had on you was bigger than you ever expected, and you hated it.

-

At school, you tried to avoid as many people as possible. The kiss you had shared with Hyunjin was plaguing your mind, distracting you and igniting the fire that was your inner turmoil. Even the thought of Hyunjin put a strain in your heart. It was the way his breath fanned over your nose, gently tickling it like a bird’s feather and the soft silk of his blonde locks brushing up against your cheeks.

You shook your head, trying to erase any and every thought of that man. Walking to your locker, you were stopped in your tracks, the dam in your eyes starting to crack. You couldn’t do this today. You turned around to go somewhere else — anywhere else.

“Y/n, wait.”

You sniffed, wiped stray tears from your eyes, and picked up your pace.

“Y/n.” He grabbed your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

“Hyunjin, please, I can’t do this today.”

“Are you… Are you crying?” He touched your face, wiping your tears with his thumb. “Y/n, why are you crying?”

You shook your head. You were scared of what would happen if you opened your stupid mouth.

“Y/n, please.” Hyunjin begged. His voice was shaking. “Tell me why.”

You shook your head again.

“Y/n, please.” His voice cracked.

“Hyunjin,” you paused, taking a shaky breath, “it’s because I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the first moment you smiled at my pathetic ass. Even when you hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before… I never had a choice, Hyunjin. It’s always been you.”

You tore yourself away from Hyunjin, embarrassed to your core. That was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done, but at least you had closure now.

“Y/n…”

“No, Hyunjin. You’ve torn me down and humiliated me enough already. What more could you possibly want?” You demanded, aware that everybody around you was staring.

“Y/n,” Hyunjin rasped, “It’s only ever been you. I’ve spent the last three years miserable knowing that you were with someone else. I’ve-I’ve never even been with another girl in the past three years. I know you have no reason to believe me because I was such an ass. I am such an ass. Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for projecting my insecurities on you, I’m sorry for accusing you of things I know you’ve never done, and I’m sorry for anything else I might have fucking done. Y/n, I love you. Please, I don’t fucking deserve it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”

You stared at Hyunjin’s bloodshot eyes, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and before you could even think, you found yourself pressed against his lips. Your eyes closed, savouring the feeling of his soft lips touching your own. His wet cheek pressed against your own, and with a nudge of the nose, Hyunjin deepend the kiss with a raw passion in which you’ve never felt before.

You cradled his head, relishing in his silken blonde hair as you brushed your fingers through his locks. He sighed in response, his breath tickling against your cheek. You were fully aware that everyone on campus had seen both your messy confessions of love, but you didn’t care. All you could do was replay the moment that Hyunjin had said those words — those three tiny words — over and over in your head as you ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his soft, honey lips.

[tennessoui]

hi all of your aus are amazing! pls what happens with divorced!obiwan and the twins?

hey!! sorry this took so long i had to think of an appropriate cliffhanger

this is a continuation of this ficlet and this ficlet, where divorced!obi-wan accidentally acquires a partner and a set of twins.

(2k WHOOPS)

The twins are not, and probably have never been described by anyone except their father, angels. They take to Obi-Wan as well as Obi-Wan takes to them, which is to say that all three of them watch each other suspiciously until one day Luke launches himself off the top of the fridge--how the fuck did he manage to get up there--and Obi-Wan drops his morning toast in a frantic bid to catch him.

After that, Leia and Luke apparently decide he is Another Anakin Who Is Just Around A Lot Less But Is Better At Reading Bedtime Stories and deign to treat him as such.

Obi-Wan decides that he’s going to have a heart attack by the age of fifty. Do all children see a childproof house as a challenge?

It somehow takes both a longer and shorter time to win over Anakin’s favor, mostly because Obi-Wan isn’t sure what the man’s thinking at any given moment. He seems to blow hot and cold depending on how he woke up or how the work day goes. Some days, Obi-Wan comes home from campus and Anakin and the twins have waited to eat until he’s there. Sometimes they’ve eaten and there’s a meal under foil on the stove just for Obi-Wan.

(“I don’t know how you do it,” Obi-Wan tells him one night after the children are put to bed. “I mean, work from home with your job, mind the children, and cook?”

“They made me head of the R&D department a few months ago,” Anakin admits, taking a sip of his second glass of wine. “So I’m doing a lot more checking through other people’s work instead of making my own. It just means I can do that and make something edible--no, really, you just can’t cook, Obi-Wan, I’m not the best either.”

“Do you miss getting to make something other than food?” Obi-Wan asks eventually, giving himself enough time to recover from the sound of the other’s giggles.

Anakin shrugs languidly. “It’s better salary, and I’m the youngest ever in the company to have the position. Means I’ll pay off my student loans quicker, same with my mom’s hospital bills. Doesn’t matter what I want.”

Obi-Wan’s chest hurts and he wants to lean across the gap between their chairs and place his hand on Anakin’s arm, but they don’t know each other like that. It’s only been a month and a half since they moved in. Still. “It always matters what you want,” he insists. “And I think you’re amazing.”

Anakin blushes bright scarlet and takes a huge gulp of wine, and Obi-Wan wonders if this is a throwing-yourself-off-the-fridge break through.)

(It’s not because the next day, Anakin doesn’t say a single word to him, which bothers him more than he’d like to admit.)

(“Am I in the wrong for wanting to get along with my housemate?” Obi-Wan asks Quinlan despairingly during their office hours that he should be using to grade papers. Instead all he can think about is Anakin Skywalker and the goddamn cold shoulder he’s been getting from the man for the past three days.

“Yeah,” Quin says absentmindedly, marking something with a red pen before looking up at Obi-Wan’s outraged intake of breath. “I mean, no. I mean, sorry, Obi, what are we even talking about now? Is it still your hot new roommate with the two kids? Because that’s what we were talking about an hour and a half ago.”

Obi-Wan crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. “I’m just not sure I appreciate--”

“And you said he’s not been hanging around in the living room when you get home? But he’s still leaving you meals in the kitchen? And you’re upset about the free food?”

Obi-Wan is upset at the lack of Anakin’s presence, but he thinks that’s probably not the right thing to say here.

“Maybe he’s just tired?” Quinlan puts down his pen and rests his chin on one of his hands as he looks at Obi-Wan. “From the kids and the job and putting up with your moody ass. C’mon, Obi, what’s really getting you worked up?”

Obi-Wan purses his lips and stares at the desk in front of him, but he had come to Quinlan for help. He should at least be honest about what’s eating at him, even though he knows how silly it will sound when given a voice. “...Satine always waited up for me,” he mutters. “Until she didn’t.”

Quinlan’s quiet for a worryingly large amount of seconds, before he reaches out to pat Obi-Wan gently on the arm. “Oh, Obi,” he says pityingly. “Repeat after me. You cannot make your new roommate your rebound from your thirty year marriage.”

Obi-Wan scoffs. That’s not the problem at all. “That’s not the problem at all,” he says, not defensively in the slightest. “I think I’m just worried about the children not having enough structure in their lives.”

“Right,” Quinlan says, not quite managing to hide the skepticism in his voice. “Then you should talk to him. For the sake of the children.”

Obi-Wan will absolutely not be doing that, but it’s a nice thought.)

The real turning point in Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship happens five months after the Skywalkers move in.

Anakin and Obi-Wan are in the living room. Anakin is trying to braid Leia’s hair while Obi-Wan tries to pretend he isn’t watching. From the kitchen, there’s a very, very loud crash and the sound of something shattering.

Both adults leap up from their seats immediately and run to the other room.

Luke is standing in the epi-center of disaster, little face scrunched up like he doesn’t know whether or not to cry. At the sight of his dad and Obi-Wan, he starts to wail, moving forward and reaching for Anakin.

Obi-Wan, who is wearing shoes inside the house (a point of contention between himself and Anakin), grabs Luke roughly and picks him up by the armpits before he can cut his feet on the glass. He hands him over to Anakin to soothe, stepping further into the kitchen to find the dustpan he keeps in one of the pantries.

It’s very obvious what broke, though Obi-Wan can’t for the life of him understand how Luke got ahold of Satine’s heavy cake stand. He can definitely understand how Luke dropped it, as the thing was ridiculously heavy.

It had been one of the only things left in the house that had been Satine’s. She’d left it, and Obi-Wan had been too bitter or petty to point it out to her. Yes, it had been her mother’s. No, keeping it had not made him feel any better. But it’s not like Satine ever baked anything anyway.

Good for Luke, actually, for doing what Obi-Wan never could bring himself to do.

He grabs the broom and dustpan and marches back to the pieces of shattered glass. Anakin has placed Luke on the counter, ostensibly to check to make sure his feet are fine if the boy would ever let go of his father’s neck. Leia is peering around at the mess on the floor.

When Obi-Wan comes back and starts sweeping everything away, she darts forward to pick up a rather sizeable chunk.

“Don’t touch that,” Obi-Wan says sharply, much harsher than he intended. Leia drops it instantly and scurries back to her father, eyes wide and sort of watery. Oh, fuck.

“Hey,” Anakin snaps immediately. “She’s just trying to help and Luke didn’t mean to break--whatever that is.”

Obi-Wan holds up his hand to cut Anakin off. “I’m not mad,” he promises all three of the Skywalkers. And he’s not even lying. He’s really not mad, hasn’t even thought to be mad at this last piece of proof of his relationship with Satine shattering on his kitchen floor. “I just don’t want either of you to cut yourself. Glass like this can be very dangerous and none of you are wearing shoes.”

“Promise?” Luke asks, untucking his red face from Anakin’s neck so he can peer up at Obi-Wan.

“I’m sorry I was a bit rough,” Obi-Wan apologizes, coming over and bending down a bit so he’s on the same level as Luke. “I was just worried about you. Promise.”

Luke sniffles but lets go of Anakin to throw himself at Obi-Wan, apologizing all the way.

“Hush,” Obi-Wan says as Leia scrambles up his leg, vying for his attention. With his hands full of children that aren’t his, he raises his head to look at Anakin who’s watching them with a very strange expression on his face. He tilts his head toward the broom and then down to the kids in his arms. “Come along,” he tells them both. “Leia, I’ll finish your braids if you’d like.”

“Braid my hair too!” Luke demands with a pull on Obi-Wan’s shirt.

Luke’s hair is floppy but awfully short. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” Obi-Wan says generously, leaving the kitchen.

“I suppose I’ll just clean this up then?” Anakin calls sarcastically behind them.

“Thank you, darling,” Obi-Wan responds.

There’s the sound of something else breaking, but it’s not Obi-Wan’s problem at the moment.

(A year later, Anakin mentions something over morning coffee about looking for a new apartment, now that he’s got everything straightened out. “We’ll get out of your hair,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’ll look today since it’s my day off.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t want to examine why that idea makes something curl tightly in his stomach, making him feel vaguely nauseous, but it does. On his way out of the house, he unplugs the router, and then after a second of thought, takes it with him just in case.)

(Quinlan laughs his head off when Obi-Wan sheepishly puts the router down on the desk in front of him. “It’s a bad market right now,” Obi-Wan says defensively. “I’m just looking out for him.”

“Obi, I mean this in the best way possible, but there are at least four professors in the psych department that would probably love to do a case study on you.”)

(Two years after the Skywalkers move in, Obi-Wan is running late for a meeting with the head of his department. The man is stepping down, finally retiring, and Obi-Wan thinks that perhaps he’ll be tapped as the new head. It would mean dropping some of his classes, but it would be worth it.

“I made you a breakfast wrap,” Anakin greets him at the door, holding out a paper bag. “It’s got that salsa you like in it.”

The salsa Obi-Wan likes is the mild version of what Anakin and the kids eat, but Anakin treats it as if it’s from another planet entirely.

“Good luck!” he says with a sweet smile, also passing Obi-Wan a travel mug of what’s hopefully fully caffeinated tea. Obviously Obi-Wan needs it. He got perhaps two full hours of sleep last night, tossing and turning and thinking about this meeting and now he’s running late and his tie is crooked and none of his favorite sweater vests were clean.

“Thank you, dear one,” Obi-Wan mumbles, mind somewhere else. If traffic isn’t too bad, he could still be on time.

“Text me how it goes!” Anakin chirps, following Obi-Wan out the door to stand on the front porch with his arms crossed in an attempt to fight off the early winter chill.

“Yes, of course,” Obi-Wan replies, turning around to brush an absent-minded kiss to Anakin’s lips before hurrying to his car. It’s a twenty minute commute. If he gets his preferred parking spot and runs to the department building, he won’t be late at all.

Is that too much to hope for?

He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, looking back in the rearview mirror to see Anakin standing frozen on the porch. That’s strange, usually the other man can’t stand being out in the cold.

Obi-Wan gets to the first stop-sign out of the neighborhood before he realizes what he’s done. It’s lucky that he’s already slowing down, because he slams on the brakes. Did he--

Did he kiss Anakin? Did he really kiss Anakin as if he does it all the time? As if they were in a relationship?

Oh shit.

Frantically, he pulls out his cellphone from his bag and checks to see if he has any new messages. He doesn’t.

Oh. Shit.

[dreamescapeswriting]

A Ruined Proposal ~ MYG [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

PAIRING: Yoongi x reader

GENRE: Angst, couple fight, established relationship, angsty with a fluffy ending 

 Clicking through every report file that was open on the computer monitor you wanted to cry. Everything was starting to pile up around you. No matter how much overtime you put in or how many extra days you did everything was piling up. The reports you were working on seemed to triple every time you went home. Being an administrative assistant was one of the best paying jobs you had gotten but it was also the hardest. The stress that came along with the job wasn't the greatest either. Instead of being at home on a Friday night, you were working late hours or trying to play catch up. Even when you were home you were left to try and catch up on everything going on around you. Taking home a work laptop almost every night and working until early hours. Your boyfriend was never impressed when he would see you carrying the laptop case.

"Don't you have that big date night tonight?" A voice asked from behind you. Turning on your chair to see your boss you smiled at him. You had been working for him for almost three years and you had a great friendship together. The two of you knew everything about one another and he knew all about your relationship with Yoongi.

"No, it's on Friday the 12th." You told him as you turned back to the screen ready to do some work only for your boss to speak again. 

"Y/n it is the 12th," Laughing at what you believed to be a joke you shook your head at him.

"No, it's the-" Your eyes stared down at your phone and you practically screamed. Yoongi was going to kill you. You promised him that this time you weren't going to be late on your date with him and it was almost 9 pm.

"Sorry Sir, I have to go." You mumbled as you began to rush out of your office and towards the elevators.

"Y/n! I'm sure he will understand," You heard your boss cry out before the elevator doors shut. It wasn't that Yoongi wouldn't understand it was that you were on our final warning. 

Every time that you and Yoongi had a date you would always end up being late or never show up. It was getting to the point where Yoongi could no longer deal with it. 

“Move faster you tin piece of crap.” You hissed hitting the panels of the elevator. There was going to be no way of explaining this to Yoongi without him getting upset.

Blowing out the candles that were still burning in the kitchen Yoongi began cleaning up. He should have known there would be not coming between you and your work. Nothing ever came before your job. Not even him. Gathering up scattered flower petals he began to put them into the bin, taking some roses and putting them in some water. He had the perfect night planned for you and you didn’t even bother to show up. Or text him to let him know that you were going to be late. 

Pulling out a small box from his pocket he scoffed to himself. There was going to be music playing all through the night about marriage and love. Then when he was going to bring you dessert he was going to act as though he’d fallen onto his knee only for you to come over to him. Then he’d pull out the ring and ask you to marry him and be his for the rest of your lifes together. But you couldn’t even be bothered to show up. 

“I’m here! I’m late and I know but I am here!” You yelled out as you came bursting through the door, panting and sweating heavily. Yoongi shoved the box into his pocket and looked over at you. 

“So, what was more important than me this time?” He questioned as he walked into the living room. Shutting the front door behind you, you walked into the living room ready to explain everything. It hurt that he was going to say work was more important than him when it wasn’t Yoongi was the love of your life, you were just too busy with everything else sometimes.

“Yoongi, I’ve been so swamped at work that I just lost track of the days.” You figured honesty was going to be the best option. As much as he hated speaking about your job with you it was the best way.

“You could have called or text.” He wasn’t going to stand for small excuses about work anymore. It felt like you didn’t care about him anymore. There was a time the two of you could barely stay away from one another. If you had a day off work you would join him at the studios or bring him lunch but now. On your days off you would stay at home and do more work.

“Yoongi you know when I’m-”

“When you’re working your phone isn’t supposed to be on your desk. Y/n...It’s almost 10 pm? You’re telling me you’ve been working for almost 14 hours without checking your phone?” His eyes were beginning to fill with tears but he didn’t want to cry. Yoongi wanted to find out if there was something he needed to worry about. 

“Do you even love me?”

“What? Yoongi of course, I love you. What kind of question is that?” Yoongi shook his head as he watched you just standing there. Everything was building up. Months of missed dates or cancellations finally breaking him.

“You’re never around...I have to make all of the efforts if we want to do something...I can’t even remember the last time I fell asleep beside you.” You rolled your eyes. All of it was something small and insignificant to you but to Yoongi...To Yoongi it was everything. You were the first real love of his life and now everything was being thrown back into his face.

“I’ve missed a couple of dates-” As you spoke you collapsed down onto the sofa, your back cracking when you finally sat down somewhere that wasn’t a broken office chair.

“28 actually,” Turning to look at him you frowned. 

“You counted them?”

“Yes! Because it’s becoming increasingly obvious that you don’t love me anymore.”Yoongi raised his voice a little since you clearly weren’t understanding why he was so upset over it all. Raising back off the sofa you looked at him. You couldn’t even believe that this was coming from him. 

“Yoongi I have a job I have to work for...It’s stressful and I need to make sure I’m on top of everything,” It wasn’t as though you were lying. Everything you did at the job you did well and you had to make sure there were zero mistakes. Mistakes could lead to peoples information being leaked or money being taken from the wrong accounts. You had to make sure everything was perfectly done.

“But you don’t need to work! I’ve told you that I earn enough for the two of us,” every time it was the same argument. It honestly felt as though Yoongi held it over your head that he worked more than you did. It never used to be this way. 

When the two of you first got together it was a simple relationship, you worked a small job while he worked in the studios. You could go and see him almost every day or every other day and you would never leave his side. But things got harder as your years together progressed. You began working a real job and you couldn’t have as much time off as you used to.

“So you can hold that over me too?” You stared at him with a serious look and he frowned looking over at you with an intense look. Never once in your relationship had he done something to make you feel uncomfortable with money or a job.

“What are you talking about?” He snapped at you.

“You think I don’t know that you earn enough? That you pay for our house, our food, our bills?” It was all true. Everything in the house theoretically belonged to him since he paid for almost all of it. Besides your things, you’d brought from your own home. Yoongi had insisted on paying for everything when you first moved in together. Telling you that it was much simpler that way than both of you paying separately for everything.

“I know I do, which is why you shouldn’t have to work so much. Just take fewer hours.” Why did he have to think that it was that simple? Did he think you were going to do nothing but stay at home and wait for him all of the time? You weren’t going to be some kind of housewife with no life other than the one you had with Yoongi.

“I work so much so I don’t need like I’m scrounging off my boyfriend. We agreed never to fight over money and yet here we are!” You cried out throwing your hands up in defeat as you faced him, 

“It seems like all we do is fight! You just love fighting with me.” You were beginning to feel fed up with everything coming down to you working so much when it was completely fine for him.

“I do not, I want to see you what’s the big deal,” Yoongi’s voice was no longer soft he was yelling back at you almost as much as you were yelling at him.

“The big deal is that when you work overtime or work from home there’s nothing wrong with it but the moment I begin to do it, it becomes an issue?!” The whole idea of having a calm conversation was out of the question now. Yoongi was pissed that you bought his work-life into it when it was his dream to become a rapper and songwriter.

“I’m doing what I love! At least I’m not some stupid Admin assistant,” The air in the room seemed to completely vanish as you stared at him.

“So because I’m doing something that isn’t as thrilling as Songwriting I’m stupid?” You questioned him as you placed your hands on your hips. Yoongi began to stammer on his words as he tried to think of something to say to you. Never in a million years would he ever call you stupid. He was just angry at everything going on and he snapped.

“That’s not what I meant...You’re...you’re never here!” Scoffing at him as you stared at him. How did you not being then mean you were stupid?

“I told you I am trying to come home more, I’m finally making some headway on my work I just need you to wait for me...Try waiting some more.” Instead of coming out harsh, you were calm. You could finally see how much it was starting to hurt him you not being around as much. Stepping closer to him you reached for his hand,

“I’m done trying for you.” Snapping his hand away from you he began shaking his head over and over again while your heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces.

“Yoongi-”

“I’m really glad I didn’t propose tonight...People really show their true colours.” With that, he turned and left. The front door opening and slamming behind him as he left you standing there in the aftermath. Head racing with thoughts about him suddenly leaving and heartbreaking as you thought about how you had ruined a proposal. 

“Yoongi!” You screamed as you chased out after him but his car was already on the road and gone by the time you had opened the front door. He was gone.

A week had passed with nothing more than a text from Yoongi to tell you he was staying at the dorms. The boys said he was acting the same as he usually would but he wasn’t to you. He hadn’t bothered to call you since that first night, you’d tried to get in contact with him and tell him you wanted to speak it out but there was nothing from him. Your voicemails left unanswered, texts left on reading and he ignored every attempt you tried. Until tonight. You’d made plans with the boys into getting him to come back to you. Jimin was going to tell him the house was empty and he could go back home for spare clothes. Meanwhile, you were going to be at home waiting for him to come back, flowers scattered everywhere and candles burning. 

“What’s going on?” Yoongi’s voice filled the house as you came out from the kitchen, 

“I wanted to speak to you,” You walked towards him as he did his best not to stare at you. One look and he knew he’d start crying. 

“Yoongi...I wanted to tell you how sorry I was...I blew everything out of proportion I should have just started working part time...I should have realised how much it was hurting you.” As you spoke you lowered yourself to the ground on one knee, taking out a small box and smiling weakly. 

“I want to marry you. I want you to marry me...I want to be husband and wife or that cringey old couple we see all of the time.” Yoongi couldn’t help but smile as he looked at you kneeling on the floor. 

“I have room to improve and I’m done trying. I did it. I quit the job, it was awful and exhausting but I don’t care-”

“Y/n.”

“Please let me finish?” You questioned as you looked up at him, he nodded slowly and you smiled at him. 

“I don’t want us to fight over stupid things anymore. I love you and you love me, isn’t that what counts?” He got down onto his knees in front of you and nodded, 

“I love you I’m sorry too,” You smiled before opening up the empty box you had in your hand, 

“I don’t have a ring but Min Yoongi...Will you marry me?” Yoongi said nothing as he pulled out the box he’d been carrying with him everywhere since that night and slid the ring onto your finger. 

“I will.” He whispered before kissing you softly, pulling you to sit on his lap as you squealed a little. Finally feeling a little more free now you didn’t have the weight of the stressful job on your shoulders and the man you loved back in your life.

Tagline: @min-yus @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1​ @agustdjoon​  @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​

[tyongxnct]

𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 - 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝐽𝑒𝑛𝑜

pairing: Jeno x reader

special guest: Jaemin

summary: Jeno and you used to be deeply in love. Your relationship was almost too good to be true. But after a while, the perfect relationship was anything but perfect. No more talking about your problems, just yelling and shouting until you had enough. The lack of communication destroyed your relationship and moving on was harder than you two thought.

song: we don’t talk anymore - Selena Gomez

genre: angst, breakup!au

warnings: swearing

word count: 3.7k

A/N: can’t believe that i’m almost done with the series, omg. I hope you enjoy this 💖 

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

We don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore Like we used to do We don't love anymore What was all of it for? Oh, we don't talk anymore Like we used to do

Your relationship with Jeno was almost perfect, a love just like the ones written in fairytales. You were snow white and he was prince charming, he saved you when you were at your lowest. He held your hand and never let go. You were Arielle and he was prince Eric. You would give up anything for him just like Arielle gave up her voice to be with Eric. Your love was so strong, so real, and so simple. The key was communication. You always talked to each other no matter what was going on. Whether it was about jealousy, decisions about the future, family problems or difficulties with friends. You talked about everything and anything and you always found a solution. Whenever you had a disagreement you talked about it and all the problems were solved like that.

But your relationship didn’t end with a happy ending like all the fairytales did.

The communication stopped and your relationship slowly fell apart.

“How was your day?” you asked him. Jeno was busy with his phone and you tried to get his attention.

“Good.”

Next try.

“I talked to my mother this morning. She missed us and I told her we would visit her this weekend I hope that’s okay for you.”

Jeno’s face lit up with anger. “I told you I was busy. You can’t just tell her that we’ll visit. A no is a no, Y/n. I don’t have time to visit your family what’s so hard to understand?”

“I know that you’re busy, but I thought that you should relax a little and stop worrying about work-“

“You want me to relax and stop worry about work? Who’s gonna pay the bills If I just relax?” he hissed. He had a long day, and he wasn’t in the mood to talk to you.

“It’s just for one weekend-“

“Cancel it. Or you know what? Just go without me. Go visit your mother and let me relax at home without you nagging about everything for once.” Jeno left the living room and entered the kitchen. A bottle of beer would help him calm down, he thought.

“We’re not done, Jeno. Can you just consider it without being an ass?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with you. I’m exhausted. Let me be, for god’s sake.”

You left him alone in the kitchen just like he wanted to be, you entered your bedroom and got changed to go to sleep. You weren’t sure If you changed, but Jeno changed for sure. He’s cold and always so moody. You couldn’t even have a simple conversation with him.

You left the apartment without saying anything to Jeno. He was at work and whenever you called or texted, he got mad. You decided to visit your family, maybe a three-day break would help your relationship get back to normal, you really hoped it would.

Jeno entered the apartment and instead of smelling the delicious food you always made, he was welcomed by silence and an empty apartment. Jeno looked around but you were nowhere to be seen. Some of your clothes were also gone and he started to panic.

He called you immediately and he was furious. How could you leave without telling him anything?

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” he asked angrily.

“Jeno I told you that I was going to visit my parents why are you acting like this?” you hissed back.

“I-I forgot- but you could’ve told me this morning! Or last night, do you really think I can remember everything you tell me?!”

He kept yelling even though he knew that you didn’t do anything wrong.

“Are you being serious right now? You can’t even remember one thing I tell you and you get angry at me? Maybe you should listen to me the first time instead of acting like I did something wrong. I’m going to turn my phone off until Monday. Don’t try to contact me.” And you hung up without letting him speak again.

Jeno angrily threw his phone on the bed and took off his clothes to take a shower. He knew that you were right, but he would never admit that. He should be happy, he could finally relax and have fun without you being there 24/7.

You thought that he would change when you come back, but he didn’t.

He was still the same. Not listening but always complaining and ignoring your feelings. Three days with your family made you happier than the last three months with Jeno.

After another week with him, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“This, whatever this is, is not good for us! There’s not a moment you’re not complaining or yelling at me! Not a single I love you left your mouth since I don’t even know, two months! You’re always telling me that everything I do is wrong and that you’re sick of me! T-This isn’t the relationship we once had. There’s no love- just pain. All I feel when I look at you is pain a-and I don’t want that… I-I just want you to love me, but this is going nowhere. So I’m going to say it now,” you inhaled deeply, “L-Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.”

Tears streamed down your face and you couldn’t even remember the last time you had cried like this. Your heart was breaking, and it hurt so much, but you knew that he’d never do the first step and just break up with you because he hated being confronted. The communication died just like your relationship.

“Fine. Then leave. If you want to break up, let’s do it. Let’s end it here.” Jeno’s blood was boiling with anger, he thought, but it was actually pain and the fear of losing you. But just like always, he didn’t talk to you about your problems and just agreed on breaking up.

I just heard you found the one you've been looking You've been looking for I wish I would have known that wasn't me 'Cause even after all this time, I still wonder Why I can't move on Just the way you did so easily

Don't wanna know Kind of dress you're wearing tonight If he's holding onto you so tight The way I did before I overdosed Should've known your love was a game Now I can't get you out of my brain Oh, it's such a shame

It’s been almost eight months since your breakup with Jeno. With every passing second, your memories slowly faded. You moved out and moved into a small apartment on the other side of the city, far, far away from place you once called home. It took you a little time to finally get used to the fact that you and Jeno weren’t together anymore.

You weren’t actually looking for someone new, the empty spot in your heart wasn’t 100% ready to be filled again, but when you met Na Jaemin, a literal angel, you couldn’t help but slowly fall for him. You met him in a bookstore, while you were looking for a new book to read, he was working there and helped you find the perfect book and after you finished the book, you spend all of your time in the little bookstore with him. Your relationship with Jaemin started as friends but your heart skipped a beat whenever you were with him and you knew that you wanted to be more than friends. Jaemin could swear that it was love at first sight, when he saw you while you looked through the bookstore and after he got to know you, he fell even harder.

He knew about your relationship with Jeno and he agreed on taking it slow. He showered you with so much love and he was always there for you.

It was one of your friends birthdays when you met Jeno again. She was a mutual friend, and you didn’t want to go at first, but Jaemin encouraged you to face him.

You changed your outfit, even though you weren’t really in the mood to wear a dress but you still wore one. You wanted to show your sexy side to Jaemin. The poor guy always saw you wearing oversized hoodies and sweatpants, but he always told you that you looked hot and sexy, no matter what you were wearing.

“I didn’t know that Y/n has a new boyfriend.” Jeno heard someone say.

“Oh yeah, his name is Jaemin. I’ve met him a couple weeks ago and I’ve never seen her happier.”

Jeno looked at the girl talking. How would she know how happy you were before? How would she know that you weren’t happier when you were with him? You were always happy with him, he thought. Well, you were always happy until he decided to hurt you.

He still remembers how hard you tried and how he pushed you away. You gave your everything to save your relationship but Jeno didn’t care and when you broke up with him, he just let you.

But he was sure, that nobody could make you happier than he could. Right?

You have a new boyfriend, so what?

It’s been months, but you were still the only thing on Jeno’s mind. He was nervous, maybe coming to the club was a stupid decision. He didn’t know why you were still on his mind after months of pushing you away. Why is he thinking about you? Why is he always dreaming of you?

You weren’t thinking about him anymore, you moved on. You moved on and found someone new, someone who made you happier.

Why couldn’t he stop seeing you everywhere?

Why couldn’t he stop missing you?

Jeno started to panic.

He didn’t want to see you. He didn’t want to see you with someone else. He didn’t want to see you happy without him.

You were playing with his heart and his brain. You were the one who left and when you left you took a part of his heart with you and after you left, everything fell apart and he hated you. Jeno hated you because you played with him, you made him think that it was his fault and after you left, everything reminded you of him and he was broken.

But he knew that it was his fault.

No matter how hard he tried to push the thought away, that he destroyed the best thing he had, deep inside, he knew that he destroyed it with his own two hands.

While Jeno was deep in thoughts, he didn’t even notice that he was drinking and drinking and when he saw you walk to your friend with a stranger holding your hand, he finished his fifth glass of whiskey in one go. Jeno was actually drinking a simple cocktail, he can’t remember when he changed his drink to something stronger. You looked, well, you looked as beautiful as always, but the big smile on your face was almost foreign to him, he thought.

When was the last time you smiled like that when you were with him?

He couldn’t remember.

Jeno’s grip around his glass tightened as he watched that guy put his hand on your waist, pulling you closer.

You greeted all of your friends and Jeno watched you from the bar.

Jeno was jealous, not only because Jaemin could hold you, but also because of all of the other guys who looked at you. He hated it, he always hated it. Jeno hated the fact that someone looked at his girlfriend. Whenever you talked about his jealousy you assured him that there was no reason to get jealous and with time, his jealousy wasn’t as bad as it was before.

But right now, he felt like he was going to explode.

Jaemin held you tightly, he knew that Jeno was there but he wasn’t worried. After everything you told him, he knew that there was absolutely no reason to be worried. He trusted you and you trusted him.

You introduced Jaemin to a couple friends, he was nice to everyone and when you were so into the conversation with your friend, Jaemin kissed your cheek and told you that he’s going to get you and himself something to drink.

He knew what you liked, he didn’t have to ask you.

When Jaemin walked to the bar, Jeno watched him with anger in his eyes. Jaemin didn’t notice and when he leaned against the bar, right next to Jeno, he ordered two drinks. Jaemin thanked the bartender and walked back to you.

His hands and lips were all over you, Jeno’s blood was boiling.

You danced with Jaemin and Jeno was ready to leave the club, he couldn’t watch you have fun with someone else. It hurt too much. But when he was about to leave, your eyes met his.

Time stood still.

Jeno couldn’t hear the loud crowd of the club and the loud music anymore, all he could hear was your voice, your broken voice telling him that you wanted to break up.

Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.

Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.

Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.

You were suffering when you were with Jeno and Jeno realized how much of a fool he was. How he took you for granted and how he ignored your feelings.

Jeno hurt you.

You just wanted to feel loved and Jeno couldn’t give you that. You talked to him, you told him how hurt you were, how much you missed him. You were in pain and it was his fault.

Jeno realized, that he always loved you.

He shouldn’t have let you go. He shouldn’t have agreed to break up. He should’ve tried to change, to be better for you, to show you how much he actually loved you. But it was over now, you were not his anymore and it was all his fault.

You softly smiled at Jeno, even after everything he put you through, you were still too nice to him.

Jeno’s eyes were empty, just like your side of his bed, just like his heart. You filled his life with joy, love, and happiness. His heart was full of love for you, but now it was just pain and longing.

Jeno tried to smile back at you, he wanted to tell you so many things, but he couldn’t.

His eyes filled with tears, his fist clenched, his gaze left you and he tried not to cry in the middle of a club. He was so drunk and he couldn’t let his drunk self take over and hurt you further, that’s how he looked one last time at you and left the club without thinking twice.

Jeno wanted to go home and drink until he couldn’t feel that arche in his heart anymore.

I just hope you're lying next to somebody Who knows how to love you like me There must be a good reason that you're gone Every now and then I think you might want me to Come show up at your door But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong

Don't wanna know If you're looking into her eyes If she's holding onto you so tight The way I did before I overdosed Should've known your love was a game Now I can't get you out of my brain Oh, it's such a shame

six months ago

It’s been two months since your breakup with Jeno. You missed him. You missed Jeno so much, it hurt. Being apart from Jeno hurt you even more.

You didn’t know what you were supposed to do.

It was almost midnight and your heart fought against your brain.

What if Jeno missed you too?

What if Jeno thought about you?

What if he regrets how he acted and was sorry?

You couldn’t take it anymore.

You didn’t know how you ended up in front of his apartment, but you found yourself in your car. You heart won against your brain.

What if he laughs at you?

What if he kicks you out?

What if he was over you?

But, what if he wants you back?

You were afraid, you were so afraid and the second you unclasped your belt you saw Jeno with a girl in his arms.

He was holding her hand.

He was smiling brightly.

He was done with you.

The sight in front of you broke your heart once again. You didn’t think he’d move on that fast, but then again you didn’t know if he started seeing her after your breakup. What if he cheated on you with her?

You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply.  

Seeing Jeno with someone else hurt, but you realized that moment that you had to move on too. You didn’t want to suffer anymore, you didn’t want to be sad anymore. You couldn’t hold onto something that was breaking you apart. It was over and there was no going back.

Present

When your eyes met Jeno’s, you smiled genuinely. You held eye contact for a second and you realized that he looked… broken? He didn’t look like the Jeno you once knew. Dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were red, he couldn’t even walk properly, he was too drunk and you knew how Jeno was when he drank too much.

You weren’t going to talk to him, not because you were still angry and hurt, no. There was no reason to talk to your ex-boyfriend. You moved on and you were happier than ever. You loved Jaemin so much and you felt loved, Jaemin is all you need.

You hoped that Jeno was also happy just like you were. No matter what happened between you two, Jeno was always someone kindhearted and you wanted him to be happy. You hoped that he was with someone who loved him as much as you did.

You saw that he tried to smile at you, but when he blinked you saw how glossy his eyes were and right after, he left the club.

“Baby, are you alright?” Jaemin asked you.

“Yes, I’m fine. I love you.” You once again realized that you needed to lose Jeno to find your true love, Jaemin.

That we don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore Like we used to do We don't love anymore What was all of it for? Oh, we don't talk anymore Like we used to do

The ringing of your phone woke you up in the middle of the night. An unknown number called you.

“Hello?” you mumbled.

There was no answer.

“Who’s there?”

“H-Hi, Y/n.”

“Jeno?” you sat up in your bed, your back resting against the bedframe.

“Yes… it’s me. I’m sorry that I called you this late but-“ he stopped talking.

“But?”

“I- I just wanted to hear you voice.” He whispered.

“Jeno-“

“N-No please, just listen to me? Okay? Please.” He begged.

“Fine.

“E-Ever since I saw you at the club… I-I can’t get you out of my head- wait, no that’s not true, I couldn’t get you out my head for the last months now. A-And when I saw you again, I just… I just didn’t know what to do, so I called you and I want to tell you, that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I’m sorry for hurting you, I-I’m so fucking sorry that I let you go that easily. I should’ve tried to keep you- there are so many things I regret.” He sobbed.

“Jeno-“

“I’m not done. I hate myself so much. I feel so lonely and I miss you. I miss you so much- I miss what we had before I destroyed everything- I miss holding you, kissing you and loving you.”

“What about your girlfriend? I thought you were happy with her?” you asked, there was no emotion in your voice.

“Girlfriend? What girlfriend?” he asked confused.

“Two months after our breakup I, uhm, I drove to your house and I saw you holding hands with a girl. You looked happy. I thought you were happy.” You admitted.

“N-No no, there’s no one. S-she was just someone I hooked up with, she didn’t mean anything to me. I promise you that she was just distraction.” Jeno rambled, “But what were you doing there?”

“I,” you breathed in and out, “I wanted to try again. I thought we could start over or something. I don’t know. I had missed you.”

“Y-You wanted to try again? You mean there was a chance for us to get back together?” he couldn’t stop his tears, “You mean I destroyed another chance with you?”

“It’s better this way.”

“No! I can’t believe this, I could be with you right now, I could be holding you right now. I could-“ his voice broke, “I fuck up everything. I let you suffer and I don’t know what to do. I-I love you, I never stopped loving you.”

“Jeno, I’m sorry, but I’m in a happy relationship. It’s over, I’m really sorry but-“

“No, please give me another chance, I’ll show you how much I love you, please Y/n, I love you I can make you happy, give me one last chance to make everything right-“

“I love Jaemin. I really love him. I don’t think we should be talking right now, I’m sorry but please don’t call me ever again.” You didn’t want to hurt him further but this conversation was going nowhere.

“Please, don’t do this to us, please, I love you I-I really do. I missed you voice so much, don’t hang up please. Y/n, I love you. Please tell me that you love me too, please.”

“I’m sorry.”

You could hear his whimpers and cries and you would be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt you hearing him cry like that. But you moved on and there was no way that you go back to Jeno.

“N-No, I’m sorry, so sorry for everything- I-I hope he k-knows how rare you are. I didn’t know that and then I lost you. I love you.”

“Goodbye Jeno.”

“Goodbye, Y/n…I love you.”

SEQUEL: the way I loved you

[timextoxhajima]

hi dana.. if it’s possible can i request some angsty wangsty based on niki la la lost you with eric🥺 and ughh i really love your writing like crazyyyyy

♥ title: la la lost you in april [also part of @sunlightwoo ‘s 12 Months I Loved You collaboration project]

♥ member: tbz eric

♥ genre: f2l, ex! eric x fem! reader, model! eric [SFW!]

♥ warnings: swearing, some mentions of sex [like, once i think]

♥ wc: 3.4k

♥ a/n: sis when i first heard the song I absolutely loved how you used 'angsty wangsty' so I hope this one does it for you the way you imagined it <3 [fyi i wrote it in like, a camcorder recording audio format which is something i’m trying out so please hmu on whether it’s difficult to read/understand!]

[REC: APRIL 2, 2019 - 6:39PM] SOLO LOG #1

Are you seeing this? This is the most beautiful sunset I’ve seen. I gotta get a shot of this-

Hey! Hey! I could help you take a picture with the sunset if you want to!

Oh! Would- Would you? That’d be great!

Of course! 

...

Here. Is it alright?

Yeah, yeah, it’s cool! Thank you so much!

Are you recording something? Is it a- Are you vlogging? Are you a vlogger?

Yeah, no... I’m actually on a solo trip for a bit.

Oh, where are you from?

Just the next state. 

Ah! You’re taking a break off... life then? I assume? Sorry if that came out weird.

No! No no! It’s alright! Yeah, I just needed a short break from... y’know, school and everything. My semester ended pretty early on so I took the chance to come out here and... see some new sights, meet some new people.

I get that. Well, for a start, what’s your name?

Oh, I’m y/n. Nice to meet you! And you?

I’m Eric. 

[REC: APRIL 4, 2019 - 10:34PM] SOLO LOG #2

It is the 4th of April, 2019. I know, I know, I’m meant to do a daily vlog for all the 50 days I’m here but... it’s been... wow. Um... so I met Eric, the first day I touched down. The beach is just, about a 10 minute walk down and the sunsets are absolutely gorgeous. But uh... call me a fool and say that I’m living in the clouds but- what are the chances?

He’s funny, he’s such a great person to be around with y’know? Never a moment of like, awkwardness or stress and my God, look at me talking about a boy like that, though I met him 2 days ago. 

...

Um, he’s a freelance model. For those freelance shoots by UNIQLO or Target or something and he complains about the pay sometimes, but he looks good infront of a camera, so he’s... actually the one who won at life, really.

I’m not seeing him soon because he’s got a shoot out of town and he’ll be back next week. But I did get his number and he’s been texting me since. 

...

Wouldn’t it be funny if we end up together and then I have this whackass of a reel to show him? Jesus... I need to stop getting ahead of myself here. Freakin’ living in the clouds, aren’t I?

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and see if I can get my weird projector shit up and working. See you.

[REC: APRIL 7, 2019 - 5:14AM] SOLO LOG #3

It is... 5am... uh, April 7th- and I was just binging FRIENDS through the night, waiting for the sunrise before I get some shut eye and then... Eric just asked me out. Oh my God! Um, he’s coming back this Thursday and I’ll go see him at the airport before we go get dinner.

It was really funny ‘cause he had to wake up early for a shoot today and so his day has just begun but mine’s coming to an end and I just- I’m rambling so much, it’s kinda- it’s kinda sad, isn’t it?

I think I’m too happy to sleep right now so I’m just gonna text him some more before the sun rises- oh! He replied!

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and finish up this last episode before sleeping. Hopeful I can sleep. Bye!

[REC: APRIL 11, 2019 - 4:28PM] SOLO LOG #4

I am on my way out right now to go meet Eric at the airport, and I’m... it’d be an understatement to say that I’m excited. I know I’ve only known him for like, 2 days before he left but... I miss him. Is that possible? Missing someone despite knowing them for 2 days?

Anyway, I gotta go. Don’t wanna be late to see him.

[REC: APRIL 13, 2019 - 10:23AM] SOLO LOG #5

Oh! Is that what you had-

Yeah! It’s the same camera!

What are you vlogging for, actually? Like-

Nothing, really. It’s just for my own usage-

Wait, you didn’t like set that up last night while we-

Oh, God, no! Who do you think I am?

I don’t know, I mean, we’ve known each other for... is it two weeks-

Just under two weeks-

Jeez-

I know, I know, oh my God.

...

I don’t regret it though. Yeah, like- I don’t really go down to the beach that often in the first place and it just- it just so happened that you were there that day and I saw you struggling with this old thing-

I was not struggling!

Yeah you were!

I wasn’t-

I’m kidding! Gosh, you’re so cute.

...

Are you gonna have the camera recording while this carries on?

I forgot it was on-

One day we’re gonna accidentally make a sex tape-

Eric!

[REC: APRIL 17, 2019 - 1:15AM] SOLO LOG #6

-ould you pass me the hot water?

Mm? What?

The kettle over on the counter. Careful, it’s hot. Yeah, thanks.

Do you need help with-

It’s just instant noodles, sweet. Doubt I need a diploma for this. You’re recording again?

Yeah, does it bother you?

No, no, ‘course not. Though that means I can’t really do whatever I want to now.

What does that mea-

...

I can... still taste that bit of milk tea you had just now-

Could you tell it’s zero sugar?

I don’t think that matters, it’s still sweet and not great for your health to have that so much.

Aw, and yet you’re the one who suggested noodles at this timing, yeah?

You were hungry too!

...

Here, it’s done. Help me get the bowls? 

Did you even wash these?

Yeah, I did. If you don’t trust me, you can run them under the water for a bit.

Mhm. Here.

If it’s not enough, we can call for Macs.

Y’know, I’ve never had Macs past midnight back at home.

What? Really? Well, when you get back in May, would you try?

Yeah, why not? Maybe I’ll do that when I’m back in school. 

...

What date is it today?

April... hold on, um, 17. Careful, that’s hot.

...

When are you leaving again?

May 22. 

Are you planning on coming back anytime soon after?

I don’t know. I have school to worry about and the only other time I can come back’s probably during winter break in November.

...

I won’t be around in November.

Mm? Why not?

I’m moving.

To where?

I’m not sure yet, but I need to move depending on whether I get it and where the shoot’s at.

Shoot? It’s a big project, huh?

Yeah, it’s- it’s a pretty big deal.

...

I’ll- Let me just go and...

[REC: APRIL 20, 2019 - 7:49PM] SOLO LOG #7

-idn’t have to!

No, c’mon! It’s such a great time to get this on camera! Come on, tell us what just happened!

Well, I just scored a huge model contract with Calvin Klein - in Manhattan.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so fucking proud of you, oh my God! Can you believe it-

No, fuck off, I can’t either! 

Oh! Calvin Klein!

...

I swear, you’re an angel sent to me-

Fuck off!

I’m serious! it’s so timely- I just can’t- I’m just so happy to have met you.

...

Well, you heard it first here, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Sohn is a new model for Calvin Klein - Manhattan.

[REC: APRIL 21, 2019 - 12:40PM] SOLO LOG #8

It is 12.40pm... April 21st, 2019. I’m finally back in my apartment after crashing at Eric’s for the last... 10 days? I think it was 10 days. My clothes were running out and I didn’t want to hike up his water bills so I just came back and- y’know did my own laundry.

...

Well, it’s- it’s been an absolute dream. The last thing I expected to... have, or meet? Here, is Eric. Um, but I know I’m probably going to regret this. Especially when May 22 comes. Uh... this is... it’s real bad. I mean, we’re great, y’know? But... it’s bad, because I know it’ll hurt. Like a bitch. When my time here is up, and I gotta go back to my reality, and Eric’s gotta stick to his. 

We haven’t really talked about it. May. I don’t think he wants to, and I don’t think I want to either. 50 days is too short. Either that, or I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I shouldn’t have gone to the beach that day, in that hour. 

...

I just wish we had more time. I wish 24 hours were... maybe about 100 seconds more per minute. Does that make sense? 160 seconds per minute. Then again, I don’t think that’d solve my problem. I’ll still be on a ticking... time bomb. 

...

I know I shouldn’t say this. I know I can’t. I know I can’t afford to. But... I... I love him. I love Eric. With every... bit of me. It’s so... disgustingly cliché, but I feel so... comfortable with him. There’s really nothing we’d fight about, and even if we disagreed on something, we’d play it off like a debate, then forget about it the next day.

...

I love him. I do. And I’m going to regret this later. Without a doubt.

...

[REC: APRIL 27, 2019 - 2:02AM] SOLO LOG #9

-ou can see the stars?

I don’t know, that’s why I’m trying, sweet.

...

Can you see them?

Yeah, maybe if I just turn this ISO- Oh! I can kinda see the North Star-

Oh! Yeah, you can! It’s really feint though.

Right.

It’s okay, we can just lay it down here-

On the grass? Will your camera be fine?

Yeah, yeah, or else you can just put in on top of my bag- here.

...

Here, can you see me? Am I in frame?

Yeah, you’re in frame.

Okay, great. Now get over here!

...

I can taste the smoothie you had just now.

Too sweet?

A little.

...

Oh my God! Put me down! Oh- not there! It’s ticklish- AHHHHH!

...

y/n, I have something to tell you.

Mm? What is it?

...

Hello? Earth to Eric?

I... I love you. So much... and I can’t bear to see you go in May. 

Oh, Eric...

No, I- I don’t want you to stay- or even think about it, ‘cause, you have your priorities and I have mine y’know...

Mhm.

I just... I just wished we had more time. 

I do too. I really do.

...

Eric?

Hm?

I love you too.

...

...

...

[REC: MAY 1, 2019 - 4:23AM] SOLO LOG #10

1st May. 4...30? Am? I believe. Um, Eric’s sound asleep in his bed and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do a log. 

...

I have... 3 weeks left. 4 weeks have gone past just like that, and I don’t know what to think about it. I came for a 50-day retreat. No stress, just myself and peace and quiet and tranquility and yet-

...

I- I don’t know if I can do this.

...

[REC: MAY 7, 2019 - 3:58PM] SOLO LOG #11

So, Eric’s in shoot right now and I’m on the way into the studio with some donuts and coffee to surprise him. I called his manager and asked if it was okay so- I’m pretty psyched to see his workspace. 

...

Hi, I’m y/n, I’m here to visit Eric?

Ah, okay! Hold on, let me just get you signed in with the pass-

Count me in!

You sure? This Saturday at the prep-party?

Yeah- Oh! 

Eric!

y/n! What are you doing here?

I wanted to surprise you. Am I... interrupting anything?

Oh, not at all!

You must be y/n! Eric’s told me so much about you!

Did he? And you are...?

I’m Chelsea! I’ve been attached to the same Calvin Klein contract he recently got, so you could say we’re colleagues!

Well, nice to meet you! Oh, right, these donuts and coffee are meant for you guys actually!

Oh! You’re too kind! Eric, you’re such a lucky man.

I know, she’s just... everything.

Anyway, thank you so much for these. I’ll bring them back down to the studio for the crew to share. But Eric’s pretty much done for the day actually, so you guys can leave if you want to!

Are you sure? Don’t you need help downstairs with the equipment?

No, no! It’s fine, there’re more than enough people downstairs. Go have your date, and maybe you can bring her along with you for the prep-party this weekend!

What’s the prep-party... preparing for?

Oh, you’re so adorable! It’s a prep-party for the end-of-May shoot we’re gonna have. it’s a collab with DAZED so it’s a pretty big project.

You never told me you were involved in a collab with DAZED.

I was gonna tell you today.

He has been pretty busy recently, maybe slipped his mind. Anyway, thank you so much for the donuts and I’ll hope to see you at the pier this Saturday, mm?

Yeah, sure. Thanks Chels.

No problem! It was so nice to meet you, y/n, I’ll see you Saturday!

Okay, bye!

Bye, Chelsea! It was nice to meet you!

Bye!

...

Sweet, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?

I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you said you’d end pretty late?

The filming was cut short because the shots were better than expected so we ended early.

Oh, I wanted to film you while you were at work.

You have that on?

Yeah- why?

No, just wondering. 

Are you uncomfortable?

No, no, it’s just... I really didn’t expect you to come to the studio. 

...

[REC: MAY 11, 2019 - 11:12PM] SOLO LOG #12

It’s 11:12pm, 11th May, 2019. 11 days to departure.

...

I... saw... Chelsea and Eric... um, out by the garage- 

...

Well, I guess... it looked like they were just... having a really good talk. Or something. 

...

I left. I couldn’t watch it. So, I left without telling Eric. I did tell his boss that I wasn’t feeling well and I had to leave first. 

...

I guess this is the part where I regret it, isn’t it? Um... I don’t know... how... I’m gonna explain this to him when I see him again. Which is supposed to be- um- the rest of the night. I was supposed to go back to his place with him and I’ll stay for the weekend before I come back to pack my things, so-

...

y/n, are you home?

...

shit.

y/n, I know you’re home. I heard you talking. Open the door, I need to talk to you.

...

[REC: MAY 12, 2019 - 2:00AM] SOLO LOG #13

...

I look like shit, don’t I? God, my eyes hurt like a bitch. 

...

I don’t think I need to say what just happened for you to guess what just happened, right? This... says it all. 

...

Fuck. 

...

I shouldn’t have come here. How did- How did my retreat turn out- turn out like this? 

...

This is- This is too much. Too much in too short... of a time. 

...

I don’t think... I don’t think I can do it. Not anymore. 

...

[REC: MAY 19, 2019 - 9:59AM] SOLO LOG #14

It’s May 19th, 2019, almost 10am. I just came back from a morning walk by the beach just to... reminisce a little before I leave on Wednesday. 

...

I... haven’t seen Eric since the prep-party. I blocked him and I told him not to come over, though I think he has, like, a few times. I thought I heard someone come up to my door, but he never knocked. 

...

So, this is how it ends, huh? A 50-day romance cut short like that. Into about, 40? 

...

It’s crazy to think that I had... the experience of a whole relationship in 40 days. I definitely did not sign up for that when I booked this 50-day retreat. 

...

It was fun while it lasted, though. It was. I don’t think I’d find anybody else like Eric, and I guess it just sucks that it had to end like that. Things happen, right? That aren’t... in our control. 

...

...

...

[REC: MAY 21, 2019 - 8:07PM] SOLO LOG #15

May 21st. About 8pm. I leave in about 15 hours. 

...

All my stuff’s packed. Definitely more things to bring home than I brought here. Half of these things were bought by Eric and given to me. I’m... actually not sure if I should bring them back. 

...

I don’t- I just don’t think I’d have the heart to throw them away.

...

Nor look at them when I’m home. 

...

Should I even bring this camera home? Maybe I should wipe your memory before I bring you home, hmm?

...

It feels like a dream, doesn’t it? Everything that’s happened. It feels like a fever dream. Maybe when I’m finally home, I’d wake up and it’d be the day I come here.

...

Maybe.

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 10:03AM] SOLO LOG #16

-ny more luggage?

Nope.

Alright then, I think you’re all set. You still have about an hour’s time before the gates are open so you can get a cup of coffee or something, yeah?

Okay, thank you!

Have a nice flight ma’am.

Thanks.

...

Good evening ma’am, can I check your boarding pass?

Yeah, sure.

...

Okay, you’re good to go. Have a safe flight.

Thank you!

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 11:34AM] SOLO LOG #17

It is about 11.30am and I’m on the flight, and here’s the view outside. Sky’s pretty clear and this thing says that the weather’s great so, it should be a smooth flight without turbulence.

...

This is it. This is really it. 

...

...

...

Um-

Hi, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to keep your camcorder.

Oh! Yeah, sure, sure, sorry!

[REC: APRIL 2, 2020 - 12:48AM] ERIC LOG #1

Wow, this is... weird. How did you do this last year?

...

Um, hi. y/n. If you’re watching this then I’ve somehow managed to get this synced into your camera by some weird... bluetooth, iCloud shit that Felix helped me figure out. 

...

It’s been a year. And... I just thought you should... see this, or hear me out, at least. I know we didn’t end on the best terms... and I’m sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being unreasonable for something that was... suspicious. I should’ve understood. 

...

I should’ve been there. To see you off. And I’m sorry I didn’t. I... was scared, that I wouldn’t be able to let you go if I went to send you off. I was a coward. I still am. 

...

But I do want you to know that... those 50 days were the best days of my life. Albeit it ended horribly, but nothing could... nothing- nothing will ever replace what happened last April. 

...

I said I love you and... I still do. Every day I think about you and your smile and your voice and- and I cry to sleep... worrying that I’d forget how you sound like, or how you laugh and how... how you smell like. My bed smelt like you even after you left. 

...

I just- I love you. And I miss you. And I’d do anything to go back to what we had. I’d do anything to get- to get you back. 

...

I’m sorry.

...

the clip comes to an automatic stop. the white triangle slapped onto the screen, begging you to play it again. you look up from the screen, watching the famous calvin klein ad that hasn’t stopped playing in the last month. 

he hasn’t changed one bit. not his hair, not his smile, not his voice. 

it’s a bittersweet pot of memory stashed in the back of your head when the memories flood back. looking back down at the camera, you count back the days - it was synced just last night. 

the pile of tissues by your thighs are carelessly huddled into the bin next to your feet, mentally berating yourself for going through the memory instead of formatting it. 

you stand, fingers shutting the screen back onto its body with a soft click. the tv blacks out when you press the red button on its remote. 

you’re halfway into your kitchen when there’s a knock at your door, and you immediately gasp, blinking rapidly.

“oh, it’s my fucking projector!”

rushing to the door, you don’t hesitate to get the door open. 

and yet, like the heavens were providing you with all the light to stop you from doubting yourself, your lungs empty themselves like vacuums. 

your heart stops.

your breathing stops.

“eric... what are you doing here?”

[caker-baker]

The Fall Guy

Ah, hell. Maybe the hero didn’t think this through. This was more of a myth than anything, if myth was the right word.

Or maybe it was just a pizza place and the hero was overthinking things.

Regardless, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Uh, hi.” The hero greeted the lanky cashier. “Can I get the hero’s special? I’m willing to pay extra.”

The cashier regarded this with a blink, then another, then finally, to finish off his grand display of emotion, he sighed.

“With or without the ‘save the day’ toppings?”

The hero scrambled to remember what to say. “With, please.”

Now with mild interest, the cashier leaned over. “Down that way, second door on your left.”

“Thank you.” The hero said with narrowed eyes.

Holy hell, that whole interaction felt like a strange dream that was a little too realistic. And that cashier was a bit too intrigued.

Jesus, their heart was beating in their ears at this point.

It could all be a lie, all of it, this could all be an intricate and carefully crafted lie told by a villain, made to lure in unsuspecting heroes to their deaths.

Too late now, their hand was already turning the handle.

Where the hero was expecting some small room that fit logistically with the rest of the joint, there were stairs.

No, they didn’t like this at all. But what was the choice, go down there, or go back outside?

Downstairs it was.

Surprisingly, it got lighter, and larger, a hard contrast to the ominous setting. And with the light came music. Something very upbeat, lots of drums and guitars, and loud.

With their final step, the hero was able to see the cause of the music, two large speakers attached to a phone.

They also got to see the apparent villain, sitting and humming along to the beat.

“Hello?”

The villain, who’s head snapped up, reached to turn down the music before turning around.

If the hero was unsure before, they definitely were unsure now. They couldn’t help being nervous as an oil stained face looked them up and down.

“I know you.” The villain finally said.

“You do?”

The villain hummed in thought. “You were the one involved in the bridge incident two weeks ago, yeah?”

A strange bout of pain overcame the hero.

“Yeah, that was me.”

“Well, no need to look all guilty about it.” The villain stood from their stool, still shielding whatever caused the oil on their face. “Everyone screws up. Is that why you want to leave?”

“No! I’m not running away from that, I’m running away from-”

“You’re getting away from the heroing part. I get it.” The villain reached behind them, grabbing measuring tape. “Mind if I get your measurements?”

“What for?”

“The decoy. Did whoever told you about this not tell you about how it works?” The villain spoke while they untangled the tape.

“No. I didn’t even know if this was real. I thought the cashier was just annoyed by me.”

“Yeah, Paul, he’s just judgy.” The villain stepped closer. “Step on this.”

The hero put a foot on one end of the measuring tape while the villain pulled the rest of it up to the top of the hero’s head.

“Thanks.”

The villain seemed fine in silence, the hero, however, felt like their whole being was vibrating with questions.

When the villain moved away, the hero felt themself breathe out heavily.

“You alright there?” The villain asked, turning away to write something down. “Don’t tell me you’re nervous.”

The hero chuckled awkwardly. “It wouldn’t be very heroic if I was, would it?”

Turning around again, the villain spoke. “Well, considering you won’t be a hero much longer, I won’t hold it against you.”

It all seemed to fall out of the hero at once, words carefully hidden away now in full sight.

“I didn’t even want to be a hero, then one day I was drafted. I don’t know how they found out what I could do, I never registered. All I wanted was to keep my head down, but suddenly I was out with the big leagues.”

Several creases had formed on the hero’s head.

“And then the tracking, oh, God, the tracking. I went out for fast food once without telling anyone, just for a moment of peace, and it was like the world imploded.”

The villain rested their chin in their hand, nodding emphatically every once in a while.

“You know there’s three days of training before they shove you into the world. They don’t care what you run into, as long as you defeat it. ‘Real heroes don’t run’ type bullshit. Ironically, that’s the most freedom we get, going up against something or someone three times our sizes.”

The villain turned their head to the side.

“And there’s a seminar on meeting foreign dignitaries! Meetings on how to address the general public, correct customs for different world leaders. Jesus, I don’t even get a choice on where I stay! I could be shipped off to Japan tomorrow.”

The hero stopped, their eyes glazing over with a strange numbness.

“Then I messed up, put on house arrest. God, that’s the happiest I’ve been in a while. Of course, I did have to beg to go and get ‘pizza’, even after the house arrest. That was the only downside, I guess.”

A beat.

“Are you finished?” The villain asked.

A brilliant scarlet color bloomed across the hero’s face. “Sorry. I got carried away.”

The villain waved them off. “Happens to nearly every one of my customers, sometimes the best therapy is just venting to the fall guy.”

“Fall guy?” The hero echoed, eyebrows furrowing.

That made the villain pause. “Yes? If this was all found out, who do you think would take the fall? Paul?” They laughed.

“Are you never, I don’t know, worried about being caught?”

The villain shrugged half heartedly. “Well, last time it happened, I just packed it up and moved. This time I had to make it pizza. Used to be donuts.” Their lips pursed. “I miss the donuts.”

The hero opened their mouth, then closed it again, trying to figure something out.

“What if-” Those weren’t quite the right words. “What happens if one of your, ah, customers gets loose lips, talks to the wrong person?”

“That, my dear hero, is a matter of trust. And it helps I am financially gifted, powerful. It’s a matter of who would last longer, and it will always be me.”

“I see.”

The villain leaned against their work table. “Hey, do me a favor.”

“Sure.”

“Can you portal something?”

The hero blinked, not expecting that. “Depends on what and how far.”

“Yourself, to a rendezvous point, say, oh, twenty six miles from here.”

The villain was grinning, waiting patiently for the hero to realize their plan.

“You use the heroes who come here, their powers to help them.” They concluded.

“While my decoys certainly do last quite a while, it’s not forever, and heroes often don’t realize the assets they have available. Speaking of, how come you haven’t tried it?”

The hero swallowed. “Portalling a living person is complicated.”

At that, the villain motioned with their hand, urging the hero to tell them what they weren’t saying.

“And,” the hero began. “my portals don’t like technology. The tracker in me could malfunction, electrocuting me before I get all the way through.”

“How did you learn that?” The villain asked, turning to scribble something down.

“The bridge incident was my first mistake as a hero, not a person.”

The villain let out a laugh. “Seems you’re just as morally gray as me.”

“It’s why I can’t be a hero.”

The villain smirked at the self righteousness of the hero, who probably didn’t even realize they were being self righteous.

“And the tracker,” the villain switched subjects. “standard GIM-14U?”

Wait, something wasn’t adding up here. There was something too certain, too familiar about the way it rolled off the villain’s tongue.

“How’d you know?”

The villain tensed, as if they hadn’t expected anyone to pick up in their certainty.

“My clientele often times have the same one.”

“And?” The hero prodded.

They could hear the villain mumble a curse under their breath.

“I used to have one. First prototype, in fact.”

Something else didn’t add up. The first GIM-14U came out several years ago, when the hero was a kid. The villain was barely older than the hero, maybe the same age. Why did the villain have one when it just came out?

It took a moment too long to realize. “You were the child prodigy, the one who vanished.”

The villain did a mock bow, their muscles relaxing slightly. “In the flesh, although technically, I’m M.I.A.”

“Oh, God. Now you-now you get other heroes out.” The hero almost laughed. “That’s genius, it’s the perfect payback, it’s-”

“What makes you think it’s payback? Maybe I just like helping people.” The villain had a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, oh, gosh. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed-”

The villain held up a hand. “It’s a little bit payback.”

A familiar shade of scarlet crept across the hero’s face, and the former prodigy decided they liked that.

“Now this part is the part most of my customers don’t like - waiting. Your decoy will most likely only take two months. In that time, you need to work on your portalling.” The villain made sure to hold the hero in their gaze. “I will contact you when and where to meet and set up the decoy. I already have your information.”

“How do you-”

“Door frame. Like a metal detector, but more precise. If you are registered on any system anywhere, I’ll know you.”

The hero had relief coming off them in waves. Two months, and all they had to do was practice some portals. And do some heroing, but they could manage.

“You know, you interrupt people a lot.” The tone was joking, and the hero was far too busy trying to contain a smile, there was no time for chiding.

“So I’ve been told.” The villain did smile. “Now, about my payment.”

“Right.” For a second, the hero fumbled around in their pockets, before pulling out a wad of cash.

The villain took it, and began counting the bills, their eyes getting wider.

“‘I’m willing to pay extra’ is just part of the code. You know that, don’t you?”

The hero shrugged. “Do you not want it?”

In the blink of an eye, the money was pocketed by the villain. “I didn’t say that. Pleasure doing business with you.”

The hero nodded, and turned on their heel, then stopped suddenly to ask one final question.

“If you know everyone from the door frame, why bother with the measuring ordeal?”

“Gets people to open up, relax a bit.”

Oh. That was sweet.

“You aren’t a bad person, are you?” Asked the hero.

“Hey now, don’t go telling everybody. My scary reputation could be ruined.”

The hero, a ghost of a smile on their lips, left, back up the stairs, through the pizza place.

Two months.

[the-cult-of-russo]

Ok so I've been coming back here to reread all of your work and I never get tired of it (the NSFW alphabet one is low-key my favorite one 👀) and let me tell you that you're one of my favorite writers and love all of your work.

You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but do you have hc of how Billy Russo would react/ be when he finds out that he's going to be a father? Based on your NSFW alphabet you did for him, you described him as a (extremely) sweet and caring person and I couldn't help to think about how he would be if he ever had a kid of his own.

(Once again, feel free to ignore this if you want to or feel uncomfortable doing it. It's a thought that hass been in my head for a while and wanted to get it out of my system lmao 😂)

First off, thank you! I really appreciate that 🥺🖤🖤🖤

Also, I love talking about headcanons, never worry about asking me about them lmao

So I just wanna say since I did write a multi chapter series about how Billy walked away when he found out that like, the idea for that happened because the first part, his letter to you, is what came to my head. And I wanted to write something sad and angsty. I feel like he's much more likely to stick around in all honesty but the boys got so many issues who even knows loool

But I just wanted to point that out because this will be different and I don't want people to be like; 'But Thalia... you did a whole thing where he left...' 😂

So yeah lmao

Remember, this is my Billy. AU, still bros with Frank Billy 👀😂🖤

I've split this into a few scenarios because I feel like there would be small differences depending on the context.

One night stand:

You had a one night stand with Billy. An amazing, ruin you for other men, kind of one night stand. But then you found out you were pregnant and went to Anvil to tell him. Of course when you turn up there he has no idea the bomb you're about to drop on him. Instead, he gives you a filthy smirk as you enter his office.

"Couldn't stay away?"

When you tell Billy you're pregnant, there's a long moment where he just blinks at you and you're pretty sure you might have broke him.

He cycles through a million and one emotions before it settles on a mix of sheer terror, shock and happiness.

He tries not to get offended when you blurt out that you'd understand if he didn't want to be part of his baby's life. He didn't want his kid to grow up feeling like he didn't love them. He's not his mother.

You're not offended when the first words to leave his lips are asking if the baby is definitely his. Its a valid question since you'd slept with him just hours after meeting him in a bar.

He tells you he wants to be there and of course he takes care of all medical bills and even tries to convince you to let him buy you a better place to live. Somewhere closer to him so you and the baby will be close by.

It wasn't planned or expected by any means but he wants to be there.

Casual sex/friends with benefits:

Billy comes over expecting to get some great sex and instead has you thrusting a pregnancy test in his hands. You're scared and upset and have no idea how he'll react. You've been sleeping together for a while but been friends for longer than that. His commitment issues are exactly why you're worried.

He sits down and stares at it, letting his brain try to absorb the fact he's going to be a dad. He feels the shot of anxiety run through him, wondering if he can do it. What kind of dad could he be? His own mother never loved him, would he be capable of loving a child?

But he knows the answer is yes. Because despite not even being in a relationship with you and this coming out of the blue, he feels excitement welling inside of him and he doesn't even realise he's smiling at the test in his hands.

When he looks back at you, sees how scared you are, he feels a pang of something in his chest that feels an awful lot like panic. He asks what you want to do, scared of the answer you'll give him. But of course you scoff and tell him you're keeping the baby.

Relief and happiness flood his body then as he gets up, hugging you tightly and stroking your hair.

"You don't gotta worry. I'll take care of you both, I promise."

And he means it. Once again he pays all the medical bills and he shockingly tells you he'd like to make a real go out of what you two have.

He buys a house for you and the baby but doesn't pressure you about him living there too. He let's you set the pace for what's happening between you.

Relationship/marriage:

He cries. Like a lot. Planned or not, the news has him weeping like a little girl. You're living together so he notices when you're feeling unwell. Notices that you haven't had your period since he normally gets you ice-cream and also gets you pads and things if you need them. He doesn't say anything though until you do.

So he gets the test for you. The pair of you sit on the bed after you did what you needed, a timer on his phone. The test is on the dresser across the room. Both of you are silent. Overwhelmed by what might happen. He really wants it to be positive. (If this wasn't planned then when you told him you might be, he started to really think about it and found he wanted a baby with you).

When the timer goes off you both jump up comically but hesitate near the dresser. Billy ends up being the one brave enough to look. You watch his reaction for a moment and you're startled when his eyes water, the way he looks at you with a beaming smile as the tears fall without him even noticing.

"We're havin' a baby!" He grins like a mad man, picking you up and twirling you around.

He's so excited that the second your feet hit the ground, he's on the phone to Frank telling him the news. Still crying, mind you.

Once he's made his phone calls, he tells you the penthouse is being left behind. He's buying a house near the Castle's for your new little family.

Both he and Frank fix it up and decorate it.

No matter which scenario it happens:

Billy goes to every appointment with you, every ultrasound. The first time he sees his baby, he cries. When he finds out if its a boy or girl, he cries. When he first feels the baby kick, he cries. When the baby's born, he's a mess. He attends every class with you and reads all the books he can get his hands on. And of course he asks Frank for advice about anything and everything.

He frequently talks to your bump, regalling the baby with tales of his life or reading from a book. He takes good care of you, anything you need, he gets you. You want pickles and a donut at 4am? Don't worry, Billy's got you. You need crazy good sex because the hormones are driving you up the wall? Billy's got you. You're sobbing because you feel like a beached whale and none of your clothes, even the pregnancy ones fit you? Billy's there. Telling you that you're absolutely beautiful. Radiant even. He gets one of his guys to buy you a bunch of clothes that fit and he cuddles you until you feel better. He dotes on you constantly, always calls and texts if he's not with you to make sure you're okay.

When you go into labour, he's there holding your hand and cheering you on the whole time. And the second the babys there, he's sobbing and smiling like an idiot. When he first holds his baby, it's a feeling he's never felt before. He feels complete in every way. So full of love he just might burst from it. And while a tiny part of him grieves for the baby version of himself that didn't seem to ever have that, he's overwhelmed by the pure happiness and love as he gazes down at his little ones face.

"Shit... you're so perfect."

He vows to be the best damn father he can be and the baby will never feel unloved for even a second.

[supercorpkid]

It’s crossover season – Part 2.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Iron Man x TeamMate!Reader, Captain America x TeamMate!Reader, Bucky x TeamMate!Reader, Falcon x TeamMate!Reader, Vision x TeamMate!Reader, Wanda x TeamMate!Reader.

Word count: 2675.

Previously on the series - part 1

“What do you mean no one can lift Thor’s hammer?” You ask Cap, who puts his arms around you with a little smile. “Is it made by a million tons of condensed dwarf star?”

“Is it what? No, nothing like that. It’s a long story.” He says guiding you back inside. “The important part is that you just showed everyone how worthy you are.” You smile at the compliment. “Do you mind training a little, before the big fight? I just want to make sure you’re in sync with the rest of the team.”

“Yeah. I would love that.” You agree with your head and Cap guides you to a large room with a bunch of new people you don’t know.

“Guys, this is Superkid. She is back-up for the fight that is to come.” Cap says and you smile shyly, looking at everyone staring at you. “Remember that we’re facing a strong and big army, and any help is more than welcomed.” He looks back at you. “Now onto work.”

You agree with your head, and he leaves. You look at a guy with wings coming out of his suit and nod.

“Nice wings.” You smile politely. He agrees with his head.

“Thank you! Nice…” He looks at you for a second and you finally notice what you’ve been wearing all along. Your momma’s old college T-shirt, and sweatpants.

“Oh, sorry!” You change into your super suit using your super speed and go back to the same place you were.

“So, you’re fast.” He says like he has deciphered you. “I’m Sam, aka Falcon.” He points at himself. “Red guy over there is Vision.” You look up to see an actual red guy flying.

“Lovely to make your acquaintance.” He says from up there.

“Yeah. You too.” You look back at Sam, pointing at the only other girl in the room.

“That’s Wanda.”

“Cool. Hi Wanda!” You wave at her and she kind of waves, kind of nods at you, but doesn’t quite do any.

“Bucky.” Sam says at the guy coming closer with a frown on his face.

“Are we going to kindergartens to pick up heroes now?” It’s what Bucky says, when he gets closer to you and you roll your eyes. Not another one questioning your abilities because of your age.

“Nice arm.” You point at his metal arm with a smile. “Is that your superpower? You have a metal arm?”

“Funny.” He frowns while Sam laughs at him.

“Come on, kid. Time to show us what you’ve got.” Sam says and they all walk to the same side, leaving you alone in the other.

“So, it’s all of you against me?” You furrow your brows and they smile.

“Don’t worry, we’ll go easy on you.” Bucky says with a blank face, and you shrug.

Falcon is the first to come at you. Wings up, flying towards you, with a gun in hand. He doesn’t shoot, but he doesn’t catch you either. You fly up, and when he passes down on you, you throw your body back at him, making him fall on the ground. He uses his wings to protect himself from the fall and rolls to the other side of the room.

Next, Bucky comes at you. You know he’s more of a combat guy. That’s not your fighting style, you are aware. You were never really good at that, so you should avoid it. He comes in, metal arm ready to punch you and you hold his hand before it hits your face. You don’t know what this metal is, but it’s very strong, and a lot harder to break than you thought. Still, you make an effort to at least make a dent in it.

“Stop!” He pulls his arm away from your grip. “This is expensive, kid. Don’t break it.”

“Sorry.” You look at the little dent you made in it and smile apologetic. “I’ll go easy on you.”

But your time with Bucky is over, because Vision is coming at you now. He flies towards you at full speed, but he doesn’t have his fist closed. He is not going to punch you. Instead, he hits you with some kind of yellow ray, and you look at your hands glowing yellow, and feel your entire body shivering like you just got a blast of excitement.

“What is this?” You ask him, and he stops. Surprised you’ve taken such a hit, without running from it.

“Solar energy?” He asks, landing in front of you. “You were not supposed to take the hit, I thought you would move away from it.”

“Solar energy?” You smile. “Cool, man. That’s how I get my powers. And you just blast me with the strongest sunlight I’ve ever seen. I bet I’m even stronger now!”

Just to test it, you punch the floor, making a hole all around you. You notice, kind of too late, that this is probably the second time you’ll cause structural damage to a room, when you hear the windows breaking, making glass fly everywhere. Just a second later you hear the walls starting to give in and soon they’re crumbling down.

You look around, before the ceiling falls on top of you, to see the rest of ‘the Avengers’, and pick them up to save them from it. But you’re a second too late, because soon, there’s a red energy force around you, and before you blink, you’re thrown away, along with everyone else from the team to the field next to it.

You roll on the floor, stopping a little further away from everyone else, and you look at the now destroyed room you were all inside.

“I’m sorry.” You look at them feeling a little embarrassed. That was too much. You went too far. “Did I mess up big time?”

“Oh no, don’t worry. Who here never destroyed an entire reinforced training space?” Sam says, sounding a little bit too ironic, and you don’t know if he maybe meant it as a joke, or to try to make you feel better. Either way, you think this isn’t the first time you’ve destroyed your training place. “Besides, Tony’s a billionaire.” He says standing up, and you look up to Wanda, landing in front of you, and offering her hand to help you up.

“Thanks for getting us out of there.” You smile and she agrees with her head.

“Yeah, sure. Just don’t destroy the other side of the compound. That’s where we sleep.” She smiles and you agree with your head.

“I’m not mad.” You hear behind you, and you turn around to look at Mister Stark himself looking at the mess you made. “I just want to know who did it.” He takes off his sunglasses just to stare at you. “Let me guess, smart mouth over here is not only great at talking back, but she is also a destruction weapon?”

“In my defense…” You try, knowing there’s absolutely no defense for what you just did. “Vision hit me with solar energy, and you know that’s where my powers come from.”

He sighs, looking at you one last time, before putting his sunglasses back. If you weren’t paying attention, you would’ve missed the little smile on the corner of his lips.

“Where should I send the bill to?” He asks walking past you and you know it’s a rhetorical question, but you still roll your eyes and answer.

“L Corp.”

“Not a real place. But nice try.” If you didn’t have super hearing, you wouldn’t have caught that. “Wanda, do you mind showing our little troublemaker where she’s staying tonight? I hope we’re lucky enough that she won’t destroy that.”

“Come on.” Wanda points at the other side of the compound. “Let’s fly there.”

Wanda leads you to the other wing of the compound and shows you an empty bedroom you can stay in. You sit on the bed feeling relentless. There’s too much going on in your head, you would sound crazy if you try to put it into words.

It’s weird being here. It’s your first thought. But it’s also nice. You’re used to being around super-heroes. You were never a stranger to the saving lives and saving the world concept. It’s been like this ever since you were born, and you never knew another life. But whatever this is, it’s not what you’re used to. This is not a house, you understand that by looking around, this is a safe place. Sort of like the Fortress of Solitude. But instead of solitude, you find that there’s so many people around. What you’re feeling right now is anything, but loneliness.

So many superheroes with different abilities, all living together, training, making each other better. People with so many backgrounds. You were so scared they could find out you’re half alien, and then Thor waltzes in looking like he just belongs on this Earth, and you find peace. For the first time the thought of you being half alien is not scary. You’re not scared if they know that. In fact, you want them to know that.

You want them to know you, and you want to know them. You want to hear all about Thor’s hammer and why apparently no one else in this house can lift it, no matter how strong they are.

“It’s called Mjölnir.” Wanda says and you look at your door with wide eyes. You earn a soft chuckle in response. “The fact why no one can’t lift it, it’s because there’s some Asgardian protection and only who’s worthy can lift it.”

“Worthy of what?” You ask and she shrugs, walking to the chair in front of your bed.

“I guess who has a pure heart or good intentions?” Wanda waves it off, and you agree with your head. “Honestly, you have immense power. I guess the fact that you’re a kid also helps with the ‘pure heart’ part.”

“Like you’re that much older.” You roll your eyes, and Wanda smiles again. She must be only four years older than you. It’s not that big of a difference. And yet, here she is. Part of ‘the Avengers’. Fighting, being a back-up for everyone. While you just keep destroying training centers like a big stupid mess.

“Hey, stop that.” Wanda says and you raise your eyes to stare her. “You’re not a big stupid mess.”

“And you can stop reading my thoughts, please.”

“I’m sorry. But you’re wrong anyways. I wasn’t always back-up. In fact, I was once someone they were fighting against.” She breathes deep after that. You furrow your brows.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” She bites her lips while fidgeting with her rings. “No one here is perfect. Everyone has a past where they did something they shouldn’t have.”

“Oh really? Even Mister Playboy?” You ask.

“Especially him. He made his money by selling weapons that were used by the bad guys. He might be a genius, but his money? I don’t really like to think about where that came from.”

“Sam? Bucky?”

“Sam was military, so I bet he’s done a lot. Bucky was literally brainwashed and has killed a long list of people by the command of a huge bad organization.” Wanda adds, and you furrow your brows taking some time to absorb her words. “Just-” She makes her way to sit in bed with you. “I know you feel bad for destroying the training center, and honestly you don’t have to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you all have such intense-” You look at her to see her reaction to the word. She hums in agreement. “Pasts.” You think about Kara. “I’m not very familiar with that.”

“How come?”

“Well, my momma is from a planet called Krypton and it exploded. So, she was sent to Earth, not this one,” you make sure to add. “She always did good. I think she sort of felt like she had to, ‘cause Earth was welcoming her after the loss of her planet, you know?”

“She never made a mistake?” Wanda raises her eyebrow and you think about a few times Kara was affected with red Kryptonite and sure, she made a few mistakes back there, but none was intentional. She was never fully conscious and chose to do so. You shake your head in denial. “Ooof, it must be hard. Is it only the two of you?”

“No. There’s my other mom. She came from a family of villains. My uncle is just always out to kill me and my momma, because we’re aliens.” You say, not aware why you’re telling this girl you just met everything about your life. “But, despite all that, my mom is good. She’s a genius who just makes stuff to make my Earth better.”

“I see now why you’re worthy of Thor’s hammer and the rest of us aren’t.” She chuckles and you give her a forced smile.

“I’m not so good. Not like they want, anyways.” You say and Wanda agrees with her head, like she understands you.

“You know something I learned when I joined the Avengers?” You look at her with puzzling eyes. “You can’t always be good. It’s impossible. The world isn’t black and white, things are not easy like that. You can try to do good as much as you’d like, but sometimes you think you’re on the good side, and you’re not. At all.” She really seems to be talking about her own experiences here. “There’s this grey area and sometimes we find ourselves there.”

“And then what do we do?” You are really interested, because maybe you’re in this grey area.

“We survive and we go on.” She shrugs. “That’s the only thing we can do.”

Go on. That’s her advice. She goes on. That’s not something Kara and Lena would say to you. They would’ve said the only thing you can do, is do your best. Do better. Fight your way out of this grey area. They would never have told you to just survive, and just go on. But here’s the thing, sometimes just surviving is you already doing your best.

You stare at Wanda’s face and hum in agreement. She’s right. And the best part? She wouldn’t force you to do better, but just to go on.

“Wow, you’re really wise for someone your age.” You are legit impressed with her. She smiles at you.

“I have been through a lot of pain and losses.” Her expression immediately saddens at that, and you can only imagine what she’s been through. “It forced me out of my youth.”

“Sorry about that, Wanda.”

“Yeah.” She shrugs, getting up, and she points to the door in front of yours. “I’m in that room, in case you need something. Just rest a little. Tomorrow will probably be the hardest day of your life.”

Wanda leaves your bedroom and you look around, breathing deep. Man, aren’t you far from home?

You think about Kara and Lena, and you hope they’re not worried about you. Because this might sound weird, but it feels good to be here. It feels like this is where you are actually supposed to be right now.

Post-credit scene:

“This is it?” Kara says landing in front of a door, putting Lena next to her. Lena picks up the card again and looks at it.

“This is it. 177A Bleecker St.” She agrees with her head.

“There’s nothing inside.” Kara walks in the front door, giving it a push strong enough to open it even though it is locked. They walk in an empty building, covered with dust and silence. “She’s not here. There’s nothing here.”

“Kara.” Lena calls and Kara turns around to look at her. Both have watery eyes, and hearts beating out of their chest. “I want my baby.”

“I want her too.” Kara says, wrapping her arms around Lena’s shoulders, bringing her closer. “I’m gonna find her. I will find you, little one. I’ll find you.”

[justthehiddleswrites]

Accidently Married | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 1 |  Living Well is the Best Revenge or Just Trip Her on the Red Carpet

A/N:  Tom makes certain comments about an ex (who is unnamed).  It is a fictional girlfriend, take from it what you will.  Keep your hate to yourself.  

SERIES MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Molly Bishop)

Summary: Tom is stuck in a news cycle from hell; Molly is stuck in the dead end job of bartending with a pile of student and credit debt.  Tom has an idea to solve all their problems.  Get married, get the paparazzi off his back, divorce after a year and Tom pays off Molly’s debts.  Tom has everything figured out, that is until he sees Molly as more than a just a friend and so does someone else.  In this vying for affections who will win, the handsome Brit or the boy from Boston?

This Chapter: Tom is in Vegas to present at a music awards ceremony and what do you know his high profile ex girlfriend is nominated for two awards.  And the press are having a field day.  Molly Bishop is grateful for the awards show because it means extra tips and getting her closer to paying off her student debt.  An offhand comment by Luke coupled with an encounter with his old girlfriend has Tom’s mental wheels turning.  Perhaps he and Molly can solve each other’s problem.  All they have to do is get married.

Warnings: fake marriage, smut (vaginal sex), mentions of:  child abuse/neglect, foster care, substance abuse, cheating.

TAGLIST IS OPEN! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED!  THANK YOU FOR READING!

--

Tom dreaded turning his phone back on when the plane landed at McCarran airport. He knew what waited for him on the other side. Tom wondered if his publicist would buy the story he left his phone back at the bar in Heathrow. Probably not, he had tried that earlier in the year and Luke went ballistic until he came clean. He did not want a repeat of the earful he got back then. With a sigh, Tom switched on his mobile and shoved it into the front pocket of his jeans, vibrating as messages and emails came in.

Tom never imagined the relationship would end like this. He thought he was in love. He thought she was in love. But it had all been what were the words she used “escape hatch”. Tom had been a means to an end. And the punishment for his naivete was a news cycle that would not die. And that photo.

He waited until he was in the car on his way to the Bellagio before checking his messages. There were a series of several text messages from Luke.

Call me when you get to your hotel room.

Don’t read the papers.

Don’t talk to any reporters.

Don’t do anything until you talk to me.

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose underneath his sunglasses.

“Fuck!” he hissed under his breath.

This meant only one thing. Another story. Maybe more pictures. He shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, she was attending the same awards show. It ventured to guess the papers would play that up. Tom slumped against the car seat for the rest of the ride.

Check in went fine at the VIP check in. One perk of not only being a celebrity, but a presenter at the awards show. The bellhop delivered Tom’s luggage and garment bag. He pulled the outfit for tomorrow and hung it up, just like Illaria told him to. It was only when he flopped onto the sectional couch, Tom called Luke.

“I’ve been waiting for your phone call.” Luke deadpanned. “I started to worry you would pull that ‘I left my phone at the airport bar’ story.”

“I did cross my mind.” Tom let his head hit the back of the sofa. “Do I want to know?”

“Not really.” Luke winced. “They used the photo again.”

“Of course they fucking did!” Tom punched a nearby pillow. “I look like a twat. Luke, I need this to stop.”

Luke sighed. “Until something comes along that is better than this, expect it to hang around for a while. Unless you are planning on getting married in the next two days.”

Tom chuckled darkly. “Not bloody likely.” He sighed again. “Thanks for everything Luke.”

“It’s my job, mate. But you’re welcome.”

After Tom hung up, he stared first at the phone in his hand and then at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure how he got here, and he sure as hell didn’t know how to get out. Tom decided instead to wallow in self-pity and eat a ridiculously expensive room service steak.

-

Weekends were always busy when there were special events over at the MGM arena. This weekend was no exception. And while it may not be good for Molly’s back, her bank account greeted every penny with a smile. Vegas may be a cheap place to live, but it still costs money. And her college did not accept IOUs for student loans. She shoved more tips into the jar behind the bar and helped the next person.

“What’ll be?”

“Whatever you have that is strong and on tap.” Tom’s smooth voice cut over the din of slot machines and video poker machines.

“Coming right up.” Molly poured him a beer, and he signed the receipt with his room number before sliding to the end of the bar.

Three hours later, Tom still sat at the end of the bar, nursing the same beer. Most of the crowd dissipated at this point. Celebrities needed their beauty sleep. Or at least most of them.

“Would you like to switch that one out for a cold one?” She leaned over, smiling. “On the house.”

“Sorry.” Tom blinked and glanced around, looking for a clock Molly imagined.

“No clocks.” she commented. “Or windows.”

Tom’s brow furrowed. “Really?”

“The whole point of casinos is to keep people inside. Clocks and windows help people realize how much time has passed.” Molly replaced his beer. “The whole place is set up like a maze.”

Tom took a long draw of the fresh beer. “You seem to know an awful lot about casinos for a bartender.”

“You seem awfully forward for a movie star.” she snapped back. Tom’s eyes met yours. She shrugged her shoulders. “I have a friend who works at Regal Cinema, they let me in for free.”

“I’m having a bad day.” Tom muttered back. “You still didn’t answer the question.” He took another long draw, leaving the glass half empty.

“Oh, so we are adding pushy to your resume. I thought Brits were supposed to be charming. If you must know, I have a Bachelor’s and Master’s in Tourism from Arizona State.”

Tom opened his mouth to comment, but Molly cut him off.

“Funny thing about the tourism industry. You need experience to get a job, but you can’t get experience without having a job. Classic catch-22. Which does not pay my bills. So I bartend until I get hired somewhere.”

Tom felt like a prize idiot moping about his problems. He cleared his throat. “Apologies for my earlier behavior. I have been in a poor mood for the last several weeks and it has made me a terrible companion and customer.”

Molly smiled at him. The first truly friendly face in a while. “It’s fine. And you are entitled to a bad day.” She filled up his glass. “Once or twice. Share your troubles with me. Unless it is about which supermodel you should date next, then I don’t want to hear it.” she joked. Tom’s face fell. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”

Tom held up a hand. “Please don’t apologize. I take it you don’t read the magazines.”

“As a matter of course, no I don’t.” Suddenly a lightbulb went off. “Oh…”

Tom twisted his face into an exaggerated expression. “‘Oh’ is right. Usually followed by the words ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’.”

“And is she…”

Tom drained the glass. “Yep. Nominated for two awards.”

“Yikes! Well, if there is anything I can do, I am here all weekend.”

Tom stood up and left several twenty-dollar bills. “I might take you up on that. Thank you again for the conversation… I didn’t catch your name.”

“Molly Bishop”. she said, clearing his glass.

Tom offered his hand, and she shook it. “Tom.”

“I know.” she leaned in, her dark brown hair falling to the sides of her face. “Remember, you’re a movie star.”

Tom laughed. A real belly laugh. So loud that it jolted the old man at the other end of the bar awake. “I needed that. Thank you again. Have a good evening, day, morning.”

“It’s evening. Goodnight, Tom. Sleep well.”

Tom headed back towards the bank of elevators. He glanced over his shoulder to watch Molly wipe down where he had been sitting, shove the twenties into a tip jar, while tucking her hair behind her ears and help an obviously drunk couple. Tom made a mental note to find her again before he flew back and leave an even bigger tip.

-

Tom woke up the next morning and headed down to the gym to run on the treadmill. He would have preferred running outside but wanted to avoid people. After running five miles, he switched the machine off, wiped it and him down and headed upstairs to shower and change for the day. Tom wandered back downstairs in search of Molly, but the bartender on duty, a guy named Seth, mentioned she wouldn’t be back until the evening. Tom thanked him and headed back upstairs.

He was restless until it was time to get ready. After dressing, he took a selfie in the mirror and sent it to Illaria who confirmed he did it right. Now came the waiting game. Tom wanted to time it to avoid having to see her at all. Finally deciding he had wanted long enough, Tom called for the car and headed downstairs. What Tom forgot to account for was his incredible bad luck.

He arrived right after her and was forced to walk the red carpet, watching her out of the corner of his eye, with her arm linked around whatever man, boy, prey she ensnared for the evening. Tom plastered a killer smile on his face and continued to repeat the mantra in his head “Living well is the best revenge” when all he wanted to do is either trip her or return to his hotel room and eat an inordinate amount of chocolate cake.

The rest of the awards show blurred together into moments of white hot rage masked by a cool exterior and numbness. Thank god for the teleprompter or else Tom wondered if he would have made it through his presentation. But he did and thought he made it through the entire event without running into her and then…

“Tom!” her voice called out.

Tom froze and stiffened. What a difference a few weeks can make.

“Darling!” He spun on his heel to face her, smile firmly in place. He leaned forward and kissed her cheeks. “It’s good to see you. You look good.” he lied through his teeth.

“You too. I thought I might miss you. I just wanted to say—”

Tom waved her off. “Water under the bridge.” Another lie. Perhaps he missed his calling as a barrister or even a publicist. “Your date seems nice.”

She smiled. That smile that once melted his heart. “Thanks. He is. Where’s your—”

“Back at the hotel.” He checked his watch. “Which reminds me, I should head back. Big plans for the night.”

She blinked, and stutter stepped back. “Oh. Right.” She composed herself. “Well, it was nice to see you again. I hope we can be friends.” She held her arms open.

Fucking friends! Tom howled inside his mind. What was she playing at? More fodder for her songs? Tom seethed on the inside. He stepped forward to awkwardly hug her, praying there was no one around to snap a photo. Knowing her, though, she probably had someone in the balcony with a zoom lens.

“Of course, love.” He squeezed her a little too tight until she let loose a small yelp of pain. Tom allowed a genuine smile to come across his face. “I won’t keep you any longer. Enjoy the after party.” He walked away before she could continue on the conversation.

He waited until he was well out of earshot. “Bitch.”

-

The crowd started waning around 9:30 as the awards show let out. Molly figured most of the attendees would hit the after parties and things would pick up around 1 or 2 a.m. Until then, it would just be the regulars. She turned around to arrange the glasses she just cleaned when a now familiar voice rang out.

“Marry me.” Tom asked, his tie loosened.

“I don’t know you.” Molly teased back. “Now what will you have?”

“You as my wife.” Tom repeated, his palm flattened against the bar.

“Be serious.”

“I am serious.”

“Are you drunk?”

Tom shook his head. “Stone cold sober. Hear me out.”

She glanced around, seeing no plausible escape. “I’m listening. But if another customer comes up, I’m walking away.”

“I need something to move the paparazzi off this current news cycle with me.”

Molly smirked. “You ran into the ex. Did she have a new boy toy on her arm?”

“Yes, but that is beside the point.”

“It is entirely the point.”

Tom slammed his hand against the bar, rattling the container of nuts nearby. “Can I continue or are you going to keep interrupting?”

Molly crossed her arms. “Go on.”

“I need something to move the press off this story. You need money. We are the solution to each other’s problems.”

“You may be gorgeous, but if you think I am sleeping with you for money…”

“I never said sex. I said marriage. The last I checked, they could be mutually exclusive.” Tom’s expression softened. “Listen, you are clearly unhappy here. I am unhappy too. If us being together could alleviate a bit of that unhappiness, why wouldn’t we seize the opportunity? We get married. Get the paparazzi off my back. I would pay off your student loans and credit cards. And then after a year of living together, we quietly divorce. No sex. Just a business relationship.”

Molly chewed over what Tom said, while chewing on her bottom lip. He wasn’t wrong, she was unhappy. Vegas was supposed to be a brand new start, but it was more of the same. Dead end job and no career prospects on the horizon.”

“Did you say live together?”

“In London, yes. I have plenty of room. Your own space. You have a passport.”

“Yes.”

Tom’s face broke out in a wide grin. He couldn’t believe this was happening. The blood pounded in his ears and adrenaline coursed through his veins. He looked up at her with his bright blue eyes.

“Will you marry me, Molly Bishop?”

“Yes.” she smiled back.

Tom leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Then let’s get going, because the licensing bureau closes at midnight.”

Molly headed over to the manager, Nick.

“I quit.” she shoved her apron at him.

“What? You can’t quit, Molly. The big rush is coming.”

“You heard the lady.” Tom called. “She quits.”

“And who the hell are you?”

“Her fiancé. Come on, darling.” Tom held out his hand. She lifted up the bar at the entrance and took his hand.

-

The two of you were full of nervous energy the entire cab ride to the licensing bureau, fitting right in with the other couples waiting to get a license. While you waited in line, Tom made some calls to several chapels until he found one open and able to squeeze the two of you in.

“Now all we need is to get you a dress and some rings.”

“Oh!” Molly dug through her purse. “My friend’s kid gave these to me.” She pulled out two plastic rings. “I think these will do in a pinch.”

Tom closed his hand over hers. “I’ll buy us proper rings tomorrow. Now a dress.”

“There’s a mall on the way. I can grab something on the way.” Tom kissed Molly’s forehead.

“You are brilliant.”

“Thank you.”

Within an hour, Molly was wearing a simple white slip dress, Tom still in his suit from the awards show, although he did straighten up the tie. She smiled like a fool, holding onto a fake bouquet and Tom’s wedding ring, complete with a plastic spider in her hand.

Tom slipped on the plastic gem ring when the minister told him to, and she did the same with the spider ring. Tom giggled and so did Molly .

“I now pronounce husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

Tom leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. His lips were warm and soft. It was… nice. Under other circumstances, she imagined Tom would be an excellent kisser.

Tom gazed down at her. “Hello, Mrs. Hiddleston.”

“Hello, Mr. Hiddleston.”

[mercy-burning]

A Shit-Ton Of Sugar

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader and Spencer work up the nerve to ask each other out after he’s been coming into her café for the past year. Category: FLUFF Warnings: Implied smut, nothing else :) Word Count: 5.3k

Full Request: “...Congrats on 1k that’s so exciting! I was hoping to request barista!reader that works at the coffee shop that Spencer goes to every morning, and literally knowing his order by heart??? And maybe like finally working up the nerve to ask him out/give him her number? Preferably fluffy, but I don’t mind! Thank you!” — @bauhousewife 

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

***

DAY 1

The first day he came into the shop, she felt like she couldn't breathe, which may have sounded like a cliché, but how else were you supposed to feel when a man like that walked in and just existed in the same space as you?

However, when she heard the bell ring, signaling someone coming into the tiny café, the fact that it was almost six-thirty in the morning was enough to make her grumpy. Whoever it was didn't even have the decency to wait a half hour until they officially opened? So, she turned around to face the stranger, ready to put on a fake smile and act like she didn't secretly want to strangle them, and then laid her eyes on probably the most beautiful human being she'd seen in a long time.

His eyebrows lifted, simultaneously expressing a greeting and an apology. "I—I'm sorry, I know you're not technically open for another half hour, but I'm in a rush on my way to work and I was wondering if I could just get a quick coffee to go?"

It was obvious that he tried to speak evenly, but between apologizing and being late to work, his words still came out rather fast. And suddenly her annoyance faded, quickly turning into a need to please him however she could.

"Oh! Oh, no worries, I can do that," she rushed out, scrambling to smooth out her apron. "What can I get you?"

A flash of relief flooded the man's eyes when he blinked, and his posture seemed just as relieved, his shoulders slumping slightly as he took a breath. "Just a black coffee with lots of sugar is fine, thank you."

"No problem. I'll have that up in a minute. Size?"

"Large, please."

As she got to work, he waited as patiently as he could, looking around the small space.

It truly was what everyone would describe as "home-y". Everything was painted a pale yellow, with lavender and sage green accents in the form of window trim, picture frames, little knick-knacks, and art pieces. As the man scanned over the few tables, he found little centerpieces of old ceramic mugs with flowers painted on them, each one containing real (or maybe fake? he couldn't tell) flower arrangements.

He smiled to himself as he found everything so... comforting. And as his eyes finally made their way back to the barista behind the counter, he finally got a good look at her.

"This is... your place? You own it?"

The woman turned back to him briefly as she poured the coffee into a large to-go cup. "Oh, yeah. I just opened up a few months ago. We don't get too much business, but that's fine by me as long as it's enough to pay the bills."

At her laugh, he smiled a little wider. It was a nice sound, just as comforting and home-y as the place he stood in. "Well, i—it's really nice, congratulations. I'm glad things are working out for you."

She laughed again a little, and if he knew any better he would have swore she was blushing. "Thank you. Um... How much sugar did you say you wanted?"

It was his turn to blush now, the way she was looking at him completely doing something wicked to his insides. "O—oh, um... I guess I never really did specify, huh? Sorry about that, um... Just three tablespoons is fine."

It was clear that he really didn't want to be an inconvenience, even more so when he mumbled a, "Sorry," so soft that Y/N wasn't even sure she heard it. Even still, she put on her best smile—even as she was turned around—to make sure he knew that she wasn't annoyed with him at all.

Though, it wasn't hard to keep smiling when she couldn't think to do anything else around him. Just the thought of his face made her want to smile, like she had a choice in the matter.

She finished the coffee, putting on a lid and turning around to face him again. "Can I get your name?"

He paused for a moment, like he was shocked she'd even ask, but laughed to himself and swallowed before responding, two syllables that almost sent her into cardiac arrest. "Spencer."

Suits him... she thought as she wrote his name down on the cup, her handwriting a pretty mix of cursive and print. And seeing his name spelled out in the penmanship she always got complimented on growing up looked like it might have been the most satisfying black marker trail she'd ever seen. Almost as satisfying as his face...

She cleared her throat and slid the cup across the counter to him, hoping she wouldn't be too obvious about her little eye-candy crush when she spoke. "Three-fifty is your total."

Spencer grabbed a five dollar bill from his jacket pocket and held it out, his fingers just barely brushing hers when she took it from him. If not for the intense concentration she was immersed in, trying not to embarrass herself, she would have jumped at the contact. Instead, she quickly ducked her face behind the tall register to keep from him seeing the stupid grin she couldn't keep away as she opened the drawer and started counting change. When she handed it over, though, she set it on the counter, hoping she could avoid touching him again.

He looked like he was about to say something, but instead, he scooped the change into his hand and immediately dropped it in the empty tip jar, a small smile on his face.

Just as Y/N said, "Thank you," Spencer grabbed his coffee and said the same, the both of them immediately going warm at the interaction. They let out a small laugh then, Y/N tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before she spoke again.

"Thank you for coming in," she said with a nod.

Spencer took a sip of his coffee and nodded back with a nod of his own. "A—and thank you for the excellent coffee."

Even after he left, she waited until he was across the street and completely out of sight before she let out a long, dramatic breath, immediately followed by a, "Holy shit."

And little did she know, it took everything within him not to keep looking back at the café as he left it—and her—behind.

DAY 5

She should have known it was too good to be true. In fact, if it weren't for the vivid physical and emotional reaction she'd had to seeing him lasting for days after it happened, she would have though she'd imagined the entire interaction. Spencer was quite literally the man of her dreams, if only because that's the one and only place he seemed to exist as of late.

Of course, it'd only been five days, and there was a possibility that he could come in again. Right?

Y/N shook away all thoughts of him as best as she could, focusing her attention to cleaning up the tables and closing for the night. The café was empty, the last customer having left no more than five minutes ago. But even as she cleaned tables, Y/N kept the sign on the door flipped to 'OPEN'— because the café closed for good at 10pm, and it was only 9:47. Though no one ever came in past 9:30, she figured it was better safe than sorry.

Soon enough, the small café started to smell more like lemon-scented surface cleaner than coffee, but Y/ didn't mind. In fact, as much as she loved the smell of coffee, after a long day it started to give her a little headache, one that instantly cleared once she started cleaning and closing up. It was calming, getting the place ready for the next day in the peace and quiet. She always turned half of the lights off so it wasn't as bright, a fact she was grateful for especially after the sun went down, but mostly because it made the place feel more atmospheric. Dim lighting during nightfall was probably Y/N's favorite feeling in the world.

At least, she thought it was.

She wasn't so sure anymore when the bell on the door rang and she turned around to see the man of her dreams, in all his tall, well-dressed, beautiful glory. 

She froze instantly, the bottle of cleaner falling softly from her hands and dropping onto the table, making her jump.

"Oh, I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Spencer said quietly.

"N—no, it's... Um, it's fine," Y/N laughed, more embarrassed than anything. "I just wasn't expecting anyone to come in so late, we usually don't get anyone after 9:30."

"Yeah, I... I know it's late, I apologize, um... I just got back from work and I figured I'd stop by for a pick-me-up, i—if that's alright."

There he went again, acting like being in her presence was such an inconvenience for her, and it made her stomach do flip flops. There was no way he wasn't a figment of her imagination, right? He always showed up at the weirdest time, nervously asking for a cup of coffee like he wasn't supposed to be there.

Granted, this was only the second time it's happened, but the sentiment remained the same.

Either way, Y/N was happy to oblige.

"It's always alright. What can I get you this time?" She smoothed out her apron before sprinting behind the counter, turning on a lamp in the back that illuminated more of the kitchen.

"Oh, a black coffee is fine."

She couldn't help but laugh as she grabbed a to-go cup. "No mountains of sugar this time?"

To her surprise, he laughed back, and the sound made her feel warm. She wasn't looking at him because she was laser-focusing on the coffee making as to not make another embarrassment of herself, but she could see his smile in her head all the same. Hopefully the dimmer lighting wouldn't give her away, another stupid grin rising to her face.

"Mountains of sugar would be fantastic, actually," he said, his voice ever so warm and friendly, albeit soft. He was obviously tired, and if he was looking to stay awake, this coffee would definitely do the trick for a few hours.

"You sound like you had quite a long day," Y/N observed as she started brewing a new pot of coffee.

"Long week, more like... Work has been... a little rough."

The exhaustion threaded in his voice made her heart ache a little. "I'm sorry to hear that. Though, it sounds like you should be getting sleep instead of coffee."

When Spencer laughed this time, it was humorless. "Yeah, well, in my line of work sleep doesn't really come easily..."

Y/N glanced up at him then to see his head tilted upward as he stared at the ceiling. The dim lights of the café accentuated the peak of his nose and his jawline, and if not for the clear exhaustion highlighting his features, she would have taken more excitement in the fact that he was there, standing in front of her looking like a beautiful sculpture for free.

Though that was definitely an upside to him finally stopping by again, deep down she knew the reason he was there now wasn't because of her; He needed coffee, some semblance of comfort and probably normalcy after a shitty week. And Y/N was inclined to understand exactly how he felt in that regard.

"I'm sorry to hear that," is all she said on the subject. But she had an idea, hoping to brighten his day just a little, to bring another smile to his face. "Tell you what, I'll give you an extra coffee, no additional charge, and if you want, I'll even send you on your way with some of these extra muffins."

The half-worried, 'oh-shit-I'm-being-a-hassle' look on his face was almost familiar at this point, making Y/N laugh a little to herself.

"O—oh, Y/N, I couldn't do that, I—"

Ignoring the feeling she got when he said her name aloud, she stopped him, shook her head, and started pouring the freshly brewed coffee into two large to-go cups. "Really, Spencer, it's fine. I'll have to throw it all out otherwise, and this way it saves me the trouble. Trust me, you'd be doing me a favor."

"A—are you sure? I don't want to get you in trouble..."

"I own the place," she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "And since I'm my own boss, I can confidently say that I won't get in trouble."

Though his smile wasn't as wide as she remembered, the sweetness and utter thankfulness she saw in it this time around was enough to call it a win. "Thank you... A—and again, I know it's late, I'm sorry for coming in—"

"Nonsense. You're welcome here any time," she reassured him with a smile almost as sweet as his coffee.

Maybe one day Spencer would stop apologizing, but as long as he kept returning to the café, Y/N didn't mind whether he did or not.

DAY 30 

Y/N was feeling rather bold today. Not bold enough to actually ask him out or anything, but bold enough to have his order ready when he came in.

Over time she learned that Spencer's work schedule was pretty random, that he traveled a lot, therefore he probably wouldn't be in every day. But a few days ago, he mentioned he was scheduled for a week off, which rarely happened, and today marked the fifth day of his mini vacation— every single day prior, he stopped in at exactly 9:00am. 

Taking the chance that he would be stopping in a fifth day in a row, Y/N was already making his usual coffee at 8:50.

Beside her, her friend and employee, Heather, snickered, finishing up with a customer and teasing Y/N with an evil grin. "You're so whipped."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she responded quietly, stirring in the mountains of sugar and setting the spoon down beside the cup.

"If you don't ask him out, Y/N, I swear... No way a man like that's gonna stay single forever, you gotta make your move."

"Who says I'm not going to?"

"Oh, so when you hand him his coffee today, you're going to give him your number and not just freeze and chicken out? You know, like you always do?"

She glared at Heather, but it only lasted for a split second before it turned into a look of pure pining and sadness. Pathetic... "Probably not..."

Heather patted Y/N on the shoulder. "It's alright, babe. When he comes in, just be yourself. He obviously likes you, enough to come in every day for your shitty coffee..."

The shit-eating grin on her friend's face was enough to make Y/N laugh again, and she shook her head, then turned back to put the lid on Spencer's cup. "Yeah, yeah... We'll see what happens. But I get what you're saying."

As Heather went off to clean some tables, Y/N wrote out his name on the cup, contemplating whether or not she should put her number next to it. What could be the harm in that, right? It was cute and charming as hell.

Just as she was about to write the first number down the chimes sounded above the door, and as some type of Pavlovian response, Y/N set down the marker and looked up to see if it was him. Instantly she berated herself for being so obvious, but by the look on Spencer's face when he approached, he didn't look phased in the slightest.

"Hey, Sugar," Y/N called out to him, sliding him the coffee and feeling butterflies swarm her stomach at the look on his face when he heard the nickname.

Then she realized she called him by a nickname...

Even though he still smiled and took the coffee, reaching into his pocket for money and clearly not phased in the least by her affectionate nickname for him, it still made her insides flare with a little embarrassment. And if she wasn't nervous about seeing him before, she most certainly was now that he was in front of her, smiling at her and being as kind and charming as ever with few words.

He was going to leave, grabbing the cup and turning, but halfway to the door, he turned back around, and when he spoke it sounded like he was as nervous as she was.

"Oh, um... I'm leaving to visit my mom this weekend, so, I just... Wanted to let you know... You know, so you don't waste your time and resources on my order..."

Though he was obviously looking out for her, Y/N still felt this overwhelming flood of foolishness, like he actually did find it strange that she memorized his order and made it for him so it would be ready on the dot when he got there. She figured, just for a moment, that it was his subtle way of telling her he thought she was taking things to a whole new level of weird.

"O—Oh, sure. Thanks for the heads up. Enjoy your weekend." She gave him her best smile, hoping her insecurity didn't bleed through.

But then he said, "You, too, Y/N," and smiled back, looking at her for a moment that lingered just a little too long before turning away. And before he actually walked out the door, he stopped and looked back at her again, giving a small wave as his face showed all signs of reluctance to leave.

She wasn't sure how long she stared at the empty doorway, but Heather's laugh broke her from the trance.

"You know you have nothing to worry about, right? He's definitely into you."

"You... You think?" she returned softly.

"I know. The next time he comes in, give him your number."

DAY 84

Turns out, Heather was completely wrong.

Y/N hadn't seen Spencer for weeks, and then the next time he came in, there was a girl with him. Y/N tried extra hard not to jump to conclusions— maybe she was just a friend? Or a sibling, or a co-worker... And besides, even if the girl was dating him, it's not like it would have been any of her business, right? She barely knew the guy, and though it hurt to have this stupid crush on him just to find out he had a girlfriend and she'd misread the entire situation, that's all it was. A crush.

A crush that, in the end, well... crushed her.

Because the girl was, in fact, his girlfriend. He didn't really introduce her at first, but the second day they came into the café together, they were holding hands. And the girl, short and pretty and adorning a beautiful mane of long, red hair, clung to his side, giving him the same doe eyes Y/N had been teased by Heather for giving him that day he'd left. Not to mention, when they ordered, the girl called him "Babe".

It was absolutely crushing.

Y/N didn't want to cry, because it was stupid for a grown woman to cry over some dude she barely knew, right? But that didn't stop the tears from welling as soon as said dude and his freaking girlfriend stepped out of the café, leaving her behind with an ache that she hadn't felt in ages.

She and Heather went out drinking that night, and after a few days of wallowing, Y/N promptly decided that Spencer and his stupid, beautiful face and his stupid, beautiful girlfriend could kiss her ass.

Of course, immediately after, she felt bad for thinking so negatively and just settled on staying out of their business.

But it didn't help that they came in almost every day for months. Even when Spencer was at work, therefore absent, his girlfriend was there. Jeannie, her name was. She had a regular order, too, one that Y/N couldn't help but dread making every morning but did anyway, even going so far as to have it ready for her when she came in. And Jeannie was incredibly nice, a fact which Y/N hated because it would have been way easier to deal with if she was awful. At least then, she could have maybe felt better about herself for being a nicer person, but she knew that wasn't fair.

This particular day, though, Spencer came in alone. And despite herself, the first thing Y/N said to him was, "Where's Jeannie?"

Maybe she should have known by the look on his face, but he sighed, returning her question with a simple, "Delaware."

Y/N started to make his usual order, keeping the conversation light even though she was inwardly sighing at he prospect of discussing his girlfriend's whereabouts. "What's she doing there?"

She wasn't looking at him, but the sadness in his voice stopped her in her tracks. "She's there with her husband."

"Uh... What?"

"Turns out she's been engaged for the past five years... They, uh... Took a break to see other people to really see if they wanted to get married, and I guess they... got married. Last week."

"Holy shit. Spencer, I... I don't know what to say, I'm... sorry..."

He didn't say anything, only giving a half-hearted smile that conveyed more sadness than anything. Y/N hated that someone had the audacity to make him feel that way... to use him like that without at the very least telling him her situation first, before getting into a relationship.

She finished his order, but before handing it to him, she reached for a blueberry muffin and wrapped it up. And as he took money out of his pocket, she sook her head and slid his things over across the counter. "Everything's on the house today."

"Y/N, you don't have t—"

"I insist. Jeannie did a stupid thing, and you deserve better than that... You deserve something good. And I know this is small and probably nothing, but I don't care."

A little of the sadness from his smile replaced itself with amusement, and Y/N decided she'd take it. He muttered a small, "Thank you," before grabbing his coffee, but before he took the muffin he looked her dead in the eye and deposited the five dollar bill from his other hand straight into the tip jar.

She sighed and shook her head at him.

But that only widened the smile on his face, most of the sadness gone. In fact, it looked more like a satisfied smirk as he grabbed the muffin and turned to leave.

Despite Spencer's refusal to not pay, Y/N found herself smiling as he left.

DAY 174

Thankfully there were no more girlfriends after that. 

Well, okay, it wasn't fair of Y/N to say that, because if she wanted to take her shot she would have, and she couldn't get mad every time he had a new girlfriend. 

But of course, that didn't mean she couldn't be relieved every time she saw him walk in alone.

This time it was Valentine's Day. The café was decorated with sparkly red garland and pink, red, and white hearts that dangled from the ceiling. All the flowers on the tables were replaced with roses and tealight candles, and currently, almost everyone was rushing to buy the chocolate-covered strawberry arrangements that Y/N made herself. 

She was currently in the back, working on making more when Heather came rushing to the room, calling out her name.

A small panic started to sink in, because if Heather needed more supplies or more of the strawberry arrangements, she would have just sent back a ring of the bell on the doorway to the kitchen. But she almost knocked over said arrangements on her way in, and Y/N was worried that maybe something bad happened.

"Heather, what's wrong?" she asked hurriedly, smearing chocolate all over her apron.

"Nothing's wrong, but your boy is here. He's asking to see you!"

Her heart leapt out of her chest, and suddenly it was like the wind got knocked out of her. "S—Spencer?"

"Yes!" Heather half-squealed, reaching out to pull at Y/N's arm. "Go!"

"Wait! Wait, how... how do I look?"

"Take off the apron, pull down your shirt a little."

"Heather!"

"You asked! If he's here to ask you out, why not give him a little preview? Now c'mon, hand the apron over." She held her hand out, waiting for Y/N to take it off.

She grumbled as she did, suddenly more nervous than she'd ever been. Her hands shook as she untied the apron and threw it over to Heather. She looked down at the deep red v-neck she wore and sighed, pulling it down a little to give a better view of her cleavage. She fluffed her hair out, letting out a huge sigh and then shaking out her hands.

"You're hot, now go!" Heather exclaimed, practically pushing her out of the kitchen and into the bright café main room.

The moment Y/N stepped out, she saw him immediately. And as always, he looked absolutely perfect... In the last few months, he'd let his hair grow out a little, strands of it tucked behind his ear while most of it fell loose atop his head. Currently he was wearing a long coat, though she couldn't tell what was underneath. But she didn't need to know, really, because he could have showed up wearing a garbage bag and she still would have practically drooled at the sight of him.

Swallowing, Y/N made her way over to him with a smile, Heather following behind.

"Hi," she said, hoping her nerves wouldn't show through. "Heather said you asked for me?"

"U—uh, yeah. Hi, um... Sorry if you're busy, I just wanted to... stop by, say Happy Valentine's Day..."

Her heart beat faster than it ever had, and seeing him smile this nervously in her direction made it all the more endearing. "Oh, thank you," she said, giving him a small wave and then wondering why when she could have done literally anything else... Wink? Finger guns?—No, Y/N, what are you thinking? Just keep cool and talk to him like a normal person! "Do you... have any plans?"

Spencer stood still, seemingly starstruck by the question for a few, long, seconds before blinking and slightly shaking his head. "O—Oh, yeah, um... Some friends and I are going out for drinks later, that's all. Should be kinda boring, actually, not really my scene..."

"Oh... Boring's nice, though, sometimes. Personally all the huge Valentine's Day plans are kinda over-the-top anyway." She might as well have been wearing a sign on her forehead that said Lie! Lie! Lie!

He laughed, though, and Y/N's heart sunk. "Yeah, you're right... Um, I'll let you get back to work, then, I just wanted to stop in and say hi." 

"Oh... You don't... want coffee or anything? I—I've got these chocolate-covered strawberry arrangements, too, if you want one. You know, 'cause why not?"

"Oh! Uh, sure. That... That sounds great."

His smile lit her insides on fire, ad she tried desperately not to stumble as she worked her way through the kitchen, making everything. He waited patiently by the side of the counter, trying equally as hard not to keep sneaking glances at her as she worked. Meanwhile the pink post-it note with his phone number in red ink burned in his pocket, his hands shaking as he struggled to think of a scenario in which he wouldn't fumble with it and completely make a fool of himself. Because now that he was there, in her presence, it was a lot harder to pretend like he had the confidence to actually ask her out.

And when she brought his order, she flashed that beautiful smile and he knew immediately that he would never be able to give her the post-it. Whether she knew it or not, she made him nervous, and if he was going  to mess everything up, he certainly wasn't going to do it in a café full of people on Valentine's Day. He'd never recover.

So Spencer accepted the coffee and the small bouquet of fruit, trying his best not to drop it with shaky hands. "Thank you. How much?"

"For you, on the house," Y/N returned. "And please don't just put a 5 in the tip jar. I'm getting really tired of you doing that."

They both laughed, the memories of every time since the last time he'd done it sparking between them like lightning. Almost every time she insisted on giving him his coffee for free, he pulled a 5-dollar bill from his pocket and landed it in the jar, and every time she rolled her eyes at him and told him to get out.

"Well, I have to give you something," Spencer insisted, the paper in his pocket burning even hotter.

Likewise, Y/N felt like she was going to lose her balance again. Was he going to ask her out? Heaven forbid, would he kiss her? "What do you have in mind?"

The deep tone of her voice sent a chill through him, and in that moment it was now or never. So he set the coffee down on the counter and reached into his pocket. Y/N opened her mouth to protest, but he stopped her with a raise of his eyebrows. "It's not what you think. I promise."

Somehow she didn't believe him.

But then he pulled out a hot pink piece of paper and slipped it in the tip jar instead, his eyes never leaving hers. "I really hope you empty the jar at the end of every day, otherwise this is going to be a little embarrassing."

"What... What is it?" she asked softly, though she already had an inkling of the answer.

And then he said something that made her heart soar. "I think you already know."

Sure enough, Y/N looked down and saw numbers written on the sheet of paper through the glass. She smiled, letting it burn heart-shaped holes into her eyes.

Spencer was gone when she looked back up, but the image of him was still seared into her brain.

DAY 366

They hadn't even made it out of the parking lot. And you'd think that after months of dating and going on dates he would have been used to how pretty she looked, but alas, yet again he couldn't wait, and now Spencer and Y/N were laying in the backseat of her car, praying no one had just seen what went down not twenty minutes ago.

"You know what, I think that has to be a record," she laughed, combing through his damp hair with her fingers. "I didn't even have my seatbelt on yet."

He laughed with her. "You know I'm impatient..."

"Yeah, and I also know that we're certainly not going to make those dinner reservations you worked so hard all month to get. All that hard work, for nothing!"

He scoffed, though the smirk on his face never faltered. "I hardly think it was for nothing... You are definitely something... Besides, I had to, because today is very special."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"Well... I don't know if you know this, but you and I met exactly one year ago today. And I've never been the same since."

Y/N looked up at him, eyes wide. "Has... Has it really been that long already?"

"Mhm... And it only seems like it hasn't been that long because we've only been technically dating for 192 days... But I wanted to celebrate anyway. Because no matter how long we've been dating, I've actually been enamored by you for 366 days. And counting."

Warmth flooded through her veins as she hugged him tighter to her, pressing a kiss to his jaw before nuzzling into his neck. "Oh, Sugar... I love you."

Spencer smiled fondly at the nickname, thinking back to all the times he'd watched her pour a shit-ton of sugar into his coffee at her cute little café— the one he'd only ever stumbled on by accident because he was running late for work and needed a quick fix of caffeine. Turns out it had been the best accident he'd ever stumbled into.

"I love you, too, Y/N."

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @g0lden-cth

TAGS NOT WORKING: @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith

If you would like to be added to the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment, and I’ll add you!

[our-marvel-universe]

Paper Rings

This fic is written for my babe Berry aka @donutloverxo  Congrats on the milestone!! Divider by @whimsicalrogers

Also pat on the back for me cause I got a fic in well before the deadline and that never happens. Like who am I? 

Steve x Reader

Summary - All Steve ever wants to do is take care of you. 

Word Count - 1.9k

Warnings - None? just a heaping hot pile of love and fluff. 

AO3 Link

A/N - Steve’s job isn’t specified so this could be an AU if you want to look at it that way! He cuold easily be CEO!Steve or whatever. 

Steve decides to take the long way home. He’s definitely excited but he’s also nervous and needs time to get his head straight. The jewelry store bag in his hand feels like it weighs 1000lbs even though the ring inside isn’t very heavy. It’s natural what Steve is feeling, after all he’s finally proposing to you, the love of his life. It feels like a long time coming even if some people would argue you haven’t been together long - but those people don’t matter. Honestly they never did. All that matters is you. As long as Steve has you he knows everything will find a way to work out. No matter how tough things get, no matter what life throws at the two of you, as long as you’re together you can survive anything. 

He knew it from the second he saw you. Standing off to the side in the coffee shop digging through your oversized bag looking for your wallet. As you both later discovered you had accidentally left it home but that was ok cause Steve took care of it. He always took care of you. From the moment he met you it has been his sole mission in life. If it was up to Steve you would want for nothing. He would pay all the bills and hire maids and a chef so you never felt the need to lift a finger. But alas his girl likes to have independence. So the housekeeper only came once a week and you flat out refused a chef. You knew how to cook and when you didn’t feel like it there was take out. 

Steve’s house never felt like a home until you were in it. He was over the moon when you moved in with him. When you first started dating you would never let him see your apartment. You always insisted on meeting him somewhere and when he walked you home you always said goodbye on the street. Eventually he found out why, crying into his shoulder one night you finally admitted the truth. There were 6 of you cramped into a tiny apartment. One of your roommates literally slept in a closet. The landlord had found out and the whole lot of you were getting evicted. Steve was furious - not at you but at your situation - you living like that was unacceptable. His girl deserved the best. A space to call her own, a sanctuary. In that moment Steve was reminded once again how he would do anything to protect you. So he did exactly that and invited you to move in with him. At first you promised it would just be temporary but Steve assured you, he wanted you to stay. He always wanted you to stay. Some people said moving in after knowing each other for only 2 months was crazy, but Steve had been certain, he never had any doubts when it came to you. 

You gave Steve everything he ever wanted in a partner and he was able to take care of you in every way possible. He took care of all the bills. He helped pay off your debt so you didn’t have to worry. His financial support allowed you to leave your job. You’d been there 2 years even though you hated it. They treated you poorly and paid you about the same but it paid was a job so you toughed it out. Now you no longer needed to worry about rent or bills so you quit. Which gave you more time to pursue your real passion. 

Writing was your dream. It was all you ever wanted to do. It was what you were supposed to be doing the day you met Steve but instead you had spent the whole day getting to know each other. Your jobs in the past had left you exhausted, both emotionally and physically leaving no time for writing, but once you met Steve all that changed. 

Steve supported you full heartedly. So he took care of everything allowing you to focus on making all your dreams come true. Of course you still worked. You walked dogs using one of those apps, and occasionally worked in a thrift store you liked to shop at. Some other odd jobs here and there, editing and freelancing when the mood struck. But every job you took was because you wanted to, not because you needed to. And now you'd done it. You finally finished your first book and it was picked up by a publisher. Soon you would be a published author. 

God Steve was so fucking proud of you. It had been a few weeks since you first found out the news but you were still over the moon and so was he. His girl's name was going to be in print. Seeing the joy on your face, well he hopes you're at least half that happy when he gets down on one knee later tonight. 

Or maybe it won’t be tonight... he’s still not sure how or when he’ll do it. He knows you don’t want a big proposal….so he’ll just keep it simple. Maybe while you eat dinner? Or while you're watching a movie? Yeah maybe the two of you can watch your favorite romantic movie and when it’s over and you're feeling all dreamy from watching a sappy love story he’ll pop the question? No, maybe not. Oh maybe he can ask in bed when you’re winding down for the day.. Or no, definitely not Steve knows better to interrupt you while you're reading… but maybe he can catch you before you open the book?

Oh he’s got it!! You’re rereading one of your favorites right now He bought you a used copy from the second hand bookstore you went to on the first day you met. He can slip the ring between the pages right where you left off.  A proposal tucked between the pages of a love story, what could be more romantic? 

It’s a cozy night. You’ve already showered, a headband holds your hair back and you’ve got on one of Steve’s old sweatshirts,  and some fuzzy socks. You’ll lose the socks before you go to sleep but you like them while you read. Steve watches you from the bathroom sink. His heart is pounding in his chest. You seem to be lingering before you start reading. Jesus did you know? Were you going to say no? Steve shakes his head trying to clear the negative thoughts taking shape. No you loved Steve, and Steve loved you. You had spoken at length about what you want your lives to look like. The two of you had planned out your entire future together - through whispers late in the night curled around one another. In the kitchen - him at the counter watching you cook dinner, the both of you smiling and wide eyed at the possibilities. Outside pointing and hypothesizing over couples and families you saw. He knew you wanted this too. The both of you did. This was the start of your future all you needed to do was say yes.

Rubbing the lotion into your skin you think. Should you keep with the book you're reading...or maybe start with another one? You’re going to finish this one of course, it was your favorite. You’re a little less than halfway through but maybe there's an update on that fic you love. You’ll check and see then go back to your book before bed you decide. 

Steve’s brushing his teeth while he watches you reach into the nightstand and he feels his heart skip a beat. This is it! You reach into the drawer and your hand ascends with your tablet. Steve feels all the blood drain from his face. He quickly jumps into action rising out his mouth before he calls over to you hoping you can’t hear the panic in his voice.

“Hey doll, whatcha doing? I thought you were working on that book you love?” Steve focuses on his reflection in the mirror waiting for your reply.

You glance up at him before waving your hand. “Ohh I am but there’s a fic I want to read first, I might pick it up after. If not there’s always tomorrow.” You shrug not thinking anything of Steve’s comment. 

 Tomorrow!? No, Steve couldn’t chance it. What if you decided to read while he’s not home? What kind of proposal would it be if he wasn’t there to actually propose? He has to get down on one knee and...shit. Steve’s racking his brain, he’s starting to sweat, when he gets an idea. 

Leaning as casually as he can against the doorway he clears his throat and shoots a shy smile your way, “Aww doll I was hoping you would read to me'' Steve holds his breath waiting for your answer. He hopes he can convince you to open the book long enough to find his note.

You shoot Steve a curious glance, lips pursed eyebrows furrowed. It lasts only a moment before you decide to give into his request. “Sure Steve” chuckling you put your tablet away and grab the book while Steve quickly and quietly grabs the ring from where he had it tucked away. 

You open the book and see slipped between the pages on top of your bookmark is a note with your name on it. You flip it over and there clear as day in Steve handwriting it reads

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

And I would love nothing more,

Than to spend the rest of my life with you. 

Your face furrows in confusion when you look up to ask Steve what’s going on you find him down on one knee. Eyes wide in shock you are absolutely speechless as Steve looks intently at you from his spot on the floor. 

“I know I’m not as good with words as you are doll” Steve swallows as he continues on “But from the moment I met you, I knew in my bones we were meant to be together. All I ever want to do is take care of you and protect you from anything that could possibly wipe that smile off your beautiful face. I love you so much baby, I need to make you happy for me to even have a shot at being happy. I want nothing more than to call you my wife. So what do you say sweetheart…?”

You are absolutely stunned. Shocked silent. When suddenly a switch flips in your head and tears begin streaming down your face “Yes, yes of course yes!” 

Throwing your arms around your new fiancé you kiss him fiercely pouring all the love you can into it. Steve responds back just as passionately, desperate to get his hands on you. He's caressing you as his tongue tangles with yours and the two of you break apart long enough for him to slip the ring on your finger. 

Your breath catches as the light shines off the beautiful ring he’s gotten you. “Steve it's stunning'' You gasp, happy tears flowing from your eyes you look up as he begins to wipe the fallen ones from your cheek. 

“I love it, thank you.” you say leaning up to capture his lips once again “I love you so much Steve” You sigh against his lips. 

“Love you more than anything doll” Steve says kissing down your neck as he rolls you under him. 

The two of you spend the rest of the night locked in each other's embrace whispering sweet nothings as the sounds of your love echo through the room.

"Going to the chapel and were gonna get maaaarried" Yay for tooth rotting fluff!! I'm not a big fan of grand proposals I like sweet intimate ones. What do you think? Would you rather a skywriter and a marching band? comment below and let me know!

[maddiwrites]

Secret Lives (Part 3)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: You and JJ never got along so your friends trap the two of you on a boat in the middle of the marsh to work it out. Only it doesn’t go as planned. 

Note: Hey guys! Remember this little series I wrote? A lot of people asked for a part three and I truly had no plans to write one, but I came up with one for you if you if guys are even still interested, who knows. I don’t know how I feel about it. Kinda seems dramatic of me, but oh well. Its been in my drafts for forever so I’m finally posting it. Let me know!! If I tagged you, its because you were tagged in part 2 or asked to be tagged in part 3! 

Word count: 6k

Warnings: mentions of abuse, drugs, violence, and death

 Part 1   Part 2    Masterlist

The relationship you and JJ had transpired into something no one saw coming. Your friends thought your friendship was unsalvageable after what happened when they trapped you in the middle of the marsh with one another. You had reached your breaking point and they didn’t think you’d ever come back to them. But you did. Not only did you come back to them, but you came back to JJ. 

The two of you, once closed off around each other, were now inseparable. You spent almost every day together. You followed him around his work schedule and he snuck through your window any chance he got because he didn’t want to spend one night without you. Your family was surprisingly very accepting of JJ. Your mother was first worried, knowing how men on the Cut can grow into something/someone no parent would want for their daughter. And Andrew knew of Luke Maybank from word of mouth and was afraid JJ might be just like him. But the first night you invited him to dinner at your house, your parents welcomed him into your family. He was polite, mature, and personable throughout the whole meal. You remembered that night well. The morning of, he  called you panicking because he didn’t know what to wear. You told him to wear whatever he wanted, but he was afraid the Kildare County T shirt and cargo shorts wouldn’t send the right message. So you took him shopping on the mainland. Together you took the ferry and made him play dress up in stores you knew he couldn’t afford. He felt bad that you were paying for his new wardrobe, but you promised it was something you wanted to do because you would do anything to make him feel better about this night. That night he came to your door with a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a bottle of Scotch he told Andrew his dad bought for him for that night. Your little sister absolutely adored him, barely giving him enough time to kiss you hello or goodbye. 

You and JJ were more alike than either of you could even imagine. Your temper wasn’t as short as JJ’s, but you weren’t afraid of a fight when it presented itself to you. Your mother always said that’s what happens when you grow up on the Cut. You learn to fight for what you want and need. Most of the time JJ liked that about you. Seeing you standing up for yourself was a huge turn on to him and he felt prideful when onlookers would watch impressed because they didn’t expect a girl from Figure Eight to fight like that. He never let it get physical though even though he always thought it would be hot to see you in a cat fight with some rich bitch from your school. He cared too much about you to let you get hurt. 

You and JJ have another similarity no one outside of the Pogues know about. Although you hate it more than anything, you and JJ live through the trauma of having an abusive father. As if dealing with your father alone wasn’t stressful enough, he created a few fights between you and your boyfriend. JJ was constantly on your case when you were hiding a new bruise or silently frustrated from a previous conversation with your father. You tried not to find it overbearing because JJ was just concerned. You promised you’d stop seeing your father. It was easier for you than for JJ because you had another family to fall back on. A loving mother, a generous step father, and a boisterous little sister. The perfect family. Which is why you felt so guilty that they didn’t seem like enough. ‘Cause it didn’t matter how much money Andrew had, or if he said he loved you like his own, or that he promised you he would never hurt your mother on the day he proposed. He wasn’t your real dad. Your real dad was out there, living in filth and drugs. Without a second income, he couldn’t pay his bills or own a car to drive himself to work every day. He blamed that on you and your mother and you fell for his pity party every single time. 

JJ knew when you were lying. You’d wearing more clothes on the days you were hiding your skin and quieter on the days when you were thinking back to the hateful things your father yelled at you the day before. He hated that there was someone out there laying their hands on you and there was nothing he could do about it. JJ knew the kind of damage that could happen if he tried to physically intervene and it didn’t work. Every time he brought it up, it would only start a heated argument. You would bring up his own father and how JJ wouldn’t let you say anything to Luke, even on the days you two were face to face at Barry’s home with your own father. You hated that JJ thought he could come between you and your father, but you couldn’t do the same. It was hard to believe you two were using your own father’s against each other to prove a point.

Today was no different. It was sunny, cloudless day in the middle of the summer. Which meant the perfect boat day for you and your Pogues. John B was excited to fish, JJ and Pope were excited to swim, Kie to tan. And you? Well you weren’t excited all at. Because last night was a particularly bad night between you and your dad. 

He had taken you out to Barry’s again, forcing you to come inside so he could show you off like his own personal wallet. He drained you of another four hundred dollars after Barry threatened to shoot your father in the head if he didn’t get his money. And you hesitated. Not because you wanted your father to die, but because you had never had a gun pointed at another person in your vicinity. Ever. But that’s not how your dad took it. When you dropped him off, he had you come inside so he could give you his unpaid utility bills. When you least expected it, your dad shoved you hard into the countertop, the corner of it jabbing into your side. Even when you fell to the floor, your father didn’t stop kicking you in your stomach. He called you ungrateful and disloyal. He told you he wished you had never been born - how you ruin everything. You cried into the tiled floors until your dad tired himself out, grabbed a beer, and went to bed.

Your torso was covered in blue and purple bruises when you woke up. Even the warm water from you shower this morning felt like a million little needles pricking your skin.  You contemplated texting the Pogues, telling them you felt sick and that you couldn’t go today. But when you looked out the window and saw the perfect day, you didn’t want to miss out on the sun or a day out with your friends. Your father’s taken a lot from you, but you wouldn’t let him take this.

You wore a one piece bathing suit you had no intention of showing anyone today. JJ greeted you first when the Pogue pulled up to your dock. His arm wrapped around your waist, his hand lightly squeezing your side. You inevitably flinched but forced out a giggle to make it look like JJ had only tickled you. Not hurt you. No one thought anything of it. No one but JJ. He watched you with a narrowed gaze as you said your hellos to the others and popped a squat next to Kie and Sarah.

When John B docked the boat, everyone immediately undressed to get into the cool water.

“C’mon, babe. You’re my partner for Chicken,” JJ walked up to you, the two of you the only ones on the boat.

You looked up and admired his shirtless, toned body. His tan skin glowed against the North Carolina sun and you couldn’t understand how you got so lucky to call him yours.

Then you remembered your predicament and looked out towards your friends to avoid his stare. “I’m not feeling that great today, J.”

“What’s wrong?” JJ asked but he didn’t need to. He already knew what was wrong. He just wanted to see if you would lie about it again.

“Just nauseous,” you said, “I think I ate some bad eggs this morning or something.”

“Some bad eggs, huh?” JJ scoffed.

“JJ...” you sighed. You knew he didn’t buy your lame excuse. You wouldn’t either if it was the other way around.

“You went to see him again, didn’t you?” It wasn’t a question it was a statement.

“Can we not do this here? Please.” You practically begged. You knew this argument could get heated. It usually always did. Neither of you meant to get mad at one another. In the end, it was your dad who was in the wrong. But you guys didn’t like seeing the other one hurt. It was both frustrating and exhausting.

JJ rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He dove into the water head first and swam out towards his friends.

You dropped your head on the boat’s steering wheel, your forehead thumping against it. You wished cutting ties with your dad was as it easy as it sounds. But now you know that Barry would kill your dad if you didn’t show up for him with the money he owed. And you couldn’t let that happen. It would feel like murdering your own father.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

A week later, you found yourself at another boneyard party with your friends. You tried your best to enjoy the night despite your boyfriend giving you the cold shoulder. He was still mad about the incident on the boat. The two of you fought about it when you got back to the Chateau. He knew you were holding something back from him. And you were. You never mentioned Barry or the drugs or the gun to him. As far as JJ knew, you paid your dad’s bills and took him out to lunch every once in a while. And you wanted to keep it this way - afraid of what he might think knowing you were spending time with not only a notorious drug dealer, but his own father.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you tell Kie as the two of you watched JJ and John B play beer pong against two Tourons.

She nodded and kept her eyes trained on the winning Pogues.

Before you reached the keg, a hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you away from the crowd, towards the water. When you looked up at who it was, you ripped your hand away and glared at the blonde Kook.

“Y/N -“

“What the hell do you want, Rafe?” You could tell he was high. His eyes wouldn’t stop flickering back between yours, his balance was off, and his pupils were dilated.

“I - I screwed up. I don’t have the money - I didn’t make enough money for Barry’s blow. He’s gonna kill me.”

“Hey, hey. Calm down,” you looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

“You need to help me. You need to sell this -“ he tried shoving small baggies into your hands but you pulled yourself away like he was offering your a lit flame.

“Are you out of your mind. Put that away!”

“I wasn’t - wasn’t keeping track of how many people were using my shit. And then there was this girl -“

“Rafe, I can’t do this.”

“JJ can help. Yeah? His dad -“

“JJ stays out of this,” you took another step towards him so you were face to face with the Kook and he could see how serious you were, even through his high state of mind. “You hear me? JJ’s nothing like his dad and I swear to god I’ll kill you first if you say anything to him.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Rafe raised his voice, frustrated that he couldn’t come up with any other ideas of how he was supposed to get his money back.

“Hey!” You froze when another voice broke you and Rafe apart. JJ walked up from behind you and pointed his finger at the Kook. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get away from her.”

You let JJ pull you behind him but kept your eyes on Rafe, trying to warn him from saying anything to your already fired up boyfriend.

Rafe sniffled and took a step back. “Nothing, dude. Relax. Okay?”

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Rafe was just leaving,” you said and kept your eyes on Rafe.

“Y/N, you don’t understand. Barry -“

“Rafe!”

JJ’s head snapped in your direction and his brows furrowed in confusion. He knew that name. His dad’s mentioned that name before. It’s usually followed by coke prices.

Rafe just glared at you. “If I die, it’s on you.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked down at the sand as Rafe walked away. JJ slowly turned to look at you as his brain scrambled to put the pieces together.

“Y/N...”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You said quickly.

“How do you know Barry?” JJ pushed. He didn’t care if you didn’t want to talk about it. He was tired of letting you push him away.

“He’s my dad’s dealer, J. We’ve been over this.” You tried walking away from him but he grabbed your wrist to make you look at him.

“You been to his house?” JJ asked. When you didn’t answer, he took a step back and looked at you incredulously. “You work for him now?”

You glared at him. “Of course not!”

“Then -“

“My dad makes me pay for his shit, okay? And I can’t stop or else Barry will kill him.” You snapped. Tears pricked at your waterline and threatened to fall.

“Barry won’t kill -“

“He pointed a gun at his head the other day! I was there! I had to scoff up hundreds of dollars to save his life.” You shook your head. “And that still wasn’t enough to save myself from a stupid beating. So please stop telling me how much easier it is for me to escape him. Stop telling me how lucky I am to have such a great family to rely on. Because I don’t! If I don’t help my dad out, I might as well sign his death warrant myself.”

JJ’s heart physically cracked in his chest at the sight of you. You were falling apart. Here at a boneyard party, where you should be having fun and forgetting about your problems. But instead he pushed you too far, and although he was relieved to finally hear the truth from you, he wished it had been in the privacy of your home or the Chateau. When he looked over your shoulder, he saw the worried looks of the Pogues looking at them. He didn’t know if he heard them, but he hoped they hadn’t. He still needed time to process this without the pestering questions from his friends. Even if they meant well.

“Okay,” JJ said softly. “Okay. I won’t say anything. I’m sorry. Can we just - “ he sighed. “Can we just go back to the Chateau? I just wanna hold you.”

You sniffled and meekly nodded your head. You were angry and frustrated. But not at him. At Rafe. At your own father. At the world. And you just wanted your boyfriend too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That night, you fell asleep pretty fast. From your sore body, to the sleepless nights thinking about Barry and his threats, and the warmth of JJ’s body held against you, your exhausted state quickly took over you. You felt like you could sleep for hours.

JJ, however, did not. He stared up at the blank ceiling with his forearm tucked under his head as his other arm stayed wrapped around you. He couldn’t stop picturing you at Barry’s home with a bunch of old low lifes, scared and innocent. He wondered if his dad was ever there - if he ever said anything to you.

He hated that there wasn’t anything he could do for you unless your dad was gone.

Gone.

And idea popped into his head like someone flicked a light switch on in his brain. He turned his head, back and forth, looking for your phone. When he found it charging on his night stand, he stretched his arm out for it, careful not to wake up your sleeping figure.

He secretly knew your passcode after subtly watching you type it in a couple weeks ago.

His fingers tapped against your screen until he found the app he was looking for. Glancing down at you one last time, he shared your location with his phone.

When you squirmed in his embrace, JJ quickly put the phone back where he found it and pretended to be asleep in case you peeked an eye open at him. He hoped you didn’t feel his heart racing against his rib cage or his uneven breaths. He knew if you found out what he was doing, you’d be pissed. But before he fell asleep, he promised he was going to do anything necessary to keep you safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On the day JJ knew you were going to be busy all day babysitting your neighbor’s kids, he rode his bike to Kildare County’s police station. He stared at the entrance for a long couple of seconds, hating every second of being in near proximity to this place. Basically going against every natural instinct he had to stay away and not trust the police.

But he was doing this for you.

He walked in, ignoring the couple of looks from officers he’s encountered over the years. They were mostly surprised he wasn’t being forced through the doors with his hands cuffed behind his back.

“I need to see Sheriff Peterkin, please.” JJ says politely.

The older woman looked JJ up and down. “Do you have an appointment?”

“It’s the fucking police station. Since when do you have to make appointments? You assume people are just gonna know when an emergency is going to happen?”

“Look kid -“

“JJ.” JJ turned and relief washed over him when he saw Sheriff Peterkin in the hallway looking at him confused but also concerned.

“I need your help.” JJ admitted. He hated cops. Probably always will. But he trusted Sheriff Peterkin. She’s always tried to help John B through his DCS struggles. She actually cared about what he wanted and never took the easy way out just to make her work load lighter. She remembered why she took the oath every day.

Peterkin never really liked the Maybank kid in particular, but she was able to see something in him pretty much every cop couldn’t. She saw the loyalty and the determination his friends saw. She could tell he didn’t want to grow up to be like his father.

She led him into her office and shut the door behind them for privacy. She gestured towards the seat in front of her desk and asked him to explain what was going on.

JJ’s mouth moved a hundred miles per minute. He told her how your mother didn’t know you would sneak out to see your dad despite the custody agreement. He mentioned the bills he made you pay and the bruises he would leave you despite your efforts to help him. He teared up when he mentioned his own dad - and how his father and your father had the same dealer. How your dad would make you go inside Barry’s home and use you like a a community bank account. He even told her about the gun Barry threatened to use on your dad right in front of you.

“Why are you tell me all of this?” Peterkin says slowly. She studied the boy in front of her who was slowly falling apart and felt sympathetic for the young blonde. It didn’t take a genius to know why JJ was telling her this.

“Because...y/n... she has a heart of gold,” JJ sniffled. “She won’t leave her dad behind to be homeless or killed because that man is her blood. It doesn’t matter if he beats her black and blue. She always goes back because she thinks she owes him.” He sighs. “I want him gone. I don’t care what you do to him. Arrest him, kill him. I don’t really care. Although the second choice sounds more strategic -“

“JJ -“

“And I don’t want her getting in any sort of legal trouble because it’s not her fault. She doesn’t do drugs or deal them or anything like that. She just stands there and watches her dad blow his money on coke and who knows what else. And her mom? Her mom has no clue what’s going on but it’s not her fault. Y/n is really good at hiding her pain. She forces a smile every day and -“ JJ’s breath hitched in his throat when he thought about how you faked your happiness every single day and how a girl like you should never feel as worthless as you do. “Her mom’s a good mom. And I don’t want people blaming her or taking Y/n away from her because they think she can’t control her -“

“Hey, look at me,” Peterkin says softly. She wanted to reach over the desk and squeeze his hand to comfort him. “I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I remember having to visit their home when Mrs. Y/L/N was still married to him. Y/N mother’s a good woman. I wouldn’t let anyone come between them.”

“What about her dad? I tried convincing her to never see him again but she won’t do it. She’s afraid Barry will kill him.”

“I can’t bust into Barry’s home without probable cause -“

JJ stood up. “That’s bullshit! You know -“

“Without probable cause or evidence that proves Barry is holding drugs or being violent, I can’t barge into that home.”

“That’s -“

“Here,” Peterkin writes her number down on a post it note and hands it to JJ. “Without probable cause, I can’t arrest Barry and the men who work or buy from him.” She stared at JJ, hoping the boy will understand her hidden message. She points at the post it in JJ’s hands. “Now. If you need anything from me. Call that number and I will find you.”

JJ looked down at the number and slowly nodded his head, understanding what he would have to do.

“And JJ -“ the blonde turned. “Be aware of where your father is when you call me. I dont want you ending up in the same situation as your friend John B if that’s not where you want to be.”

JJ nodded. “Thank you Sheriff Peterkin.”

Peterkin nodded and walked him out of the station.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Three days later, JJ met his friends at the Wreck for lunch. He slowed his pace when he noticed the seat next to Pope wasn’t occupied and neither was the one next to Kie. 

“Where’s Y/N?” He asked them.

Kie looked at the others with furrowed brows. They all got the same text. The one where Y/N apologetically told them that something came up and wouldn’t be able to hang out today. They thought JJ would have known that. 

“She said she couldn’t make it,” Kie says. “We thought you knew.”

“Did she say why?” 

Pope shrugged. “Just that something came up.”

JJ ripped his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through his messages with you. You didn’t text him - you didn’t even answer his good morning text. He knew what this meant. You didn’t like to lie, so you’re way of dodging questions you didn’t want to answer honestly is to make sure no one can ask you them. By avoiding them all together. JJ knew that. It made sense to him. 

“JJ, what’s going on?” John B asked his friends, recognizing the look on his best friend’s face. He was furious but also anxious. His leg hasn’t stopped bouncing up and down since he asked where you were. 

JJ clicked on the app that showed your location and saw you were deep into the south side of the Cut. He recognized the area of his father’s drug dealer. 

“We gotta go,” JJ stood up and motioned for his friends to follow. “Now. JB, you bring the Twinkie?”

“Yeah, but...” John B stuttered as he grabbed his stuff off the table. “What’s going on?”

“We're saving my girl from that douche bag she calls a father,” JJ says. “For good.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

John B pulled the Twinkie to the curb outside of Barry’s house, making sure to use the trees to hide his vehicle. The Pogues immediately recognized your car parked in Barry’s driveway. Confusion bubbled through their heads, but rage ignited in JJ’s.

“Why is she here?” Kie asked. 

JJ didn’t answer. He picked up his phone and clicked on Peterkin’s name. “It’s JJ.” The Pogues paused as they listened to JJ to talk to the Sheriff. “I -” He stopped when the sound of a gun shot being fired silenced all of them into panic. 

“JJ -” Peterkin called for him but JJ didn’t answer. He dropped the phone so fast and sprinted out of the van, towards the house. He didn’t care what kind of danger he was running into. He just knew he had to get you out of it. 

JJ ignored the calls from his best friends behind him as he ripped open the screen door. He stopped, looking left, right, up, down - anywhere for you.

He heard the commotion coming from Barry’s living room along with shouting and glass smashing. The first person he saw was Barry holding a gun up to the ceiling, pointed at the hole he left above him only seconds ago. He was glaring in the direction of you and your father, barely taking notice of the new kid in his home. Luke Maybank was the first to notice his son and narrowed his eyes in his direction. JJ gulped nervously - he didn’t know if it was because he was afraid of the guy with the gun or his dad. But what he feared the most was you not being okay.

Your eyes grew wide with fear when you saw the new face. You looked between JJ and Barry nervously, not knowing how Barry would react to the new member in his house. He was already pissed as it is, threatening to shoot you in front of your dad because neither of you could fork over the money your dad owed Barry. He was getting tired of the same old bullshit, and Rafe didn’t help. He stood silently in the corner with his fingers racked through his hair.

“Who the fuck are you?” Barry pointed the gun at JJ when he finally noticed him. 

“Hey, hey, hey, he’s good!” Luke came closer to Barry and said, “That’s my son.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Barry asked him. 

Luke looked past Barry at JJ for an answer he couldn’t give him. JJ glanced from Barry, to his dad, to you and gulped again as he tried to come up with answer. That’s when you understood what was going on. He was following you. 

You didn’t know if you should be mad or not. All you could focus on was the gun in Barry’s hand that’s still pointed in JJ’s direction. 

“Look, kid,” Your dad said to Barry, gaining his attention all over again. “I’ll make it up to you.” He put his hand on your shoulder and shoved you slightly forward. “You want to have her for the night? She’s all yours.”

Your head snapped in your father’s direction with your mouth open agape. Did your dad seriously just try to pimp you out? You felt betrayed, vile, used, and worthless. This isn’t something you do when you love your kid.

JJ seethed and clenched his hands in fists, ready to rock the shit out of your dad. “You son of a bitch -”

Luke, however, caught him in time, holding him by the arm and pulling him away from your dad. JJ tried fighting him off to get to your dad or you - to get you out of this entire home. He saw the scared look on your face and it made him want to set the entire house on fire. He’d do anything to protect you - to keep you safe. And right now, he thought he was failing. 

Then, red and blue lights flashed through the open windows, followed by loud sirens. Barry crossed the room to stand next to you and your father and looked out the window. When he saw the cops, he immediately swiveled around to point his gun at your boyfriend. 

“You called the fucking cops?” Barry sneered. 

“Stop!” You yelled to try and get Barry’s attention and away from JJ. 

You dad tried to use Barry’s distraction to his advantage and snuck up behind him to try and reach for the gun. Barry spun around and tried pulling his wrist away from your dad’s grip. As they fought for the gun and an upper hand, you ran across the room for JJ who immediately wrapped his arms around your waist. He kissed the top of your head and motioned for the front door, mumbling about leaving.

You nodded and grasped his hand in yours. When he turned to lead you out of there, another shot rang out and you flinched closer to JJ as he ducked and pulled your head down with his arms and shields your body with his. 

You heard a thump and the floor vibrated under your feet. 

“Shit -”

“Fuck -”

“What did you do that for -”

“Jerry? Hey! Jerry!”

Everything kind of moved in slow motion after that. You turned around to see what had happened and that’s when you saw your dad laying on the floor with a puddle of blood growing around his body. Your feet moved faster than your brain did to get to your dad. 

JJ tried reaching for you but you swiveled out of his grip and dropped to your knees in front of your dad’s body. His eyes were closed and his mouth open. You placed your hands on top of the wound in his stomach to get it to stop bleeding. You cried. You didn’t know why you were crying but you did. Hard and heavy, barely able to get your own breaths in. You didn’t pay attention to Rafe fleeing from the backyard, or Barry being stopped by the cops who stormed into the house with guns raised. You barely felt JJ place his hands on your shoulders to try and coax you up. All you saw and could feel was your dad’s dead body and his blood on your hands. 

“Honey,” You felt another set of hands touch your back as they knelt down next to you. You didn’t look at her but recognized the familiar voice. “He’s gone. It’s over.”

“No -” You voice was barely above a whisper. 

“I’m sorry. Let’s get you cleaned up. Okay?” 

Sheriff Peterkin nodded at JJ to help you up and lead you out of the house. He was  finally able to pull you up from your knees and placed a comforting hand on your lower back. 

Your friends watched from the barricade the police set up around the house. When they saw you, all of them either started to panic or cry. They thought your were hurt until JJ nodded at them to tell them you were okay. But they could see in your face you were anything but okay.

Another cop lead you to the back of an ambulance. You don’t even look at Luke being handcuffed next to Barry or Rafe disappearing in the trees. All you can think about is your dad. 

The EMT did a quick check up on you after realizing the blood on your hands was in fact not yours. Then they took a quick look at JJ and asked if there was someone they could call for you.

“My mom -” You whispered. 

The EMT nodded. “Do you have a number?”

You told the EMT her number and waited patiently as she walked away to call her. When the two of you were alone, JJ turned to look at you and reached out for your hands and held them in his lap. He rubbed his thumb up and down over the back of your hand and waited for you to say something. He didn’t know if any words could make this right. He didn’t know how to comfort you after you just witnessed your dad died. It didn’t matter if you hated him or not. You literally watched him take his last breath. Your own flesh and blood. That shit’s traumatizing. 

“I’m sorry,” JJ said when he realized you were not going to say anything. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just - I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“This is my fault.”

“No,” JJ shook his head. “No. It’s not your fault. It’s Barry’s. He was the one with the gun -”

“I should’ve walked away. From my dad. From all of this.” A single tear rolled down your cheek. “I enabled him. I allowed it to get this far.”

“You were doing what you thought was best for your dad.”

“I got him killed -”

“He did this to himself, Y/N. You were more than the perfect daughter. You literally couldn't be more perfect if you tried.” JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer into his side and kissed the top of your head. “He didn’t deserve you. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this.”

You cried into his shoulder, letting the sobs wrack through your body and your heart tear into millions of pieces. JJ held you tightly against him and whispered comforting words in your ears. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

JJ stood by you through your grieving process - through the good and the bad. He’s took your harsh words with a grain a salt when he noticed you were just trying to pick a fight, he held you when you cried into your pillow in the middle of the night, he was by your side for a hand to hold when you told your mother what happened and why you were at Barrys for the millionth time, and he was there to tell you he will always be there for you when you think he’s just going to up and leave like your dad did.

After your dad’s funeral, you stood in front of his tombstone with a solemn expression. Your dad was a piece of shit and didn’t deserve your love, money, and attention. You wished you could go back and time and never give it to him. At least that way you wouldn’t feel all these complicated emotions that made no sense. Love, hate, grief, relief. You didn’t know how to feel. 

Coming up behind you was JJ. He weaved his fingers with yours and kissed your temple. You couldn’t believe there was ever a day where JJ Maybank was your enemy. You didn’t think you’d be able to get through this without him.

“JJ,” You said and looked up at him. “Thank you.”

JJ nodded. “I love you.” He would never admit this, but he was glad you dad was dead. Because now he knew you were safe. 

“I love you more.”

JJ shook his head. “Impossible.”

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