#i did write like half of those starters today and did a few drafts or partially answered here and there

[queensdivas]

Peonies Chapter 2

Okay so this is a long chapter and we’re finally getting into more Chiara x Grigor. No it’s not what you think but I know you’ll be enjoying what I’ve written hopefully. Don’t worry there will be 

Also. For those who read my other stories. Those who are not aware Chapter Four of Wildest Notes (The Gardner one) has been uploaded. For those who are curious. 

Next Chapter

Masterlist 

Previous Chapter 

Life of a Duchess consists of balls, tea parties, making under the table deals for the country, and then an occasional outing. Life for me..it is..well.. Different. Obviously. I mean I dropped everything to now help Catherine stage a Coup against her own husband. But I’m still trying to manage my habits so I don’t lose them, even all the way out here. 

My morning always begins at seven a.m. Fernanda is to come into the rooms and open the curtains whether the sunshine is glaring into my room or it’s a cloudy day. Then after waking up I’m treated to a warm breakfast. Honestly I’m not quite sure what exactly is a Russian breakfast because I’ve never had it. 

Fernanda came into the bedroom as I was rubbing my eyes to adjust to the light. Doing a few neck stretches then plopping my arms and my legs as my hair fell in my face. To think only a few nights ago we were burying heads in the dirt and now we’re writing drafts on some sort of constitution. She placed the breakfast tray right in front of me then revealed breakfast. What looked like porridge that had raspberries on top of them, some bacon and dumplings? 

“What is this?” Crossing my legs as I lifted one of the dumplings to my nose. Smelled very sweet for a dumpling. 

“They call it vareniki I think. It’s a dumpling and they tasted good when we had them for dinner last night. I promise I wouldn’t let them serve you anything you wouldn’t like.” She stood next to me as I handed her one of the raspberries from on top of the porridge. 

“Is Catherine awake yet by chance?” Asking her as she finished the raspberry. 

“I’m not quite sure. I can go check for you.” 

“It's not too urgent yet. I just need to know when she’s wanting to have our meetings. If you happen to see her maid, send her my way. Oh! I need a sabre coach if you could keep an eye on Hernán. He’s coming sometime today and I would rather him see a familiar face than one of the ladies.” She nodded as I took my spoon into the porridge. Eh. It’s alright. Makes me miss the cooking of Chef Columbus. 

After breakfast I am to get dressed for the day which is usually my black pants, my brown and black boots, and my white button up shirt. Makes the life of Fernanda and I extremely simple because there’s no buttons or corsets. In addition. It’s either braided hairstyles or just flopping down due to the fact those big hairstyles hurt my head. 

“She’s awake and already has some sort of Count in her chambers.” Fernanda told me as I finished placing my hair in a braid. I then grabbed my cross necklace as I stared into the vanity mirror before me. 

The words of Catherine talking about Grigor after the funeral keep bouncing around in my head. If he’s an advisor he must have some sort of genius inside his head. But when you’re supposed to be an advisor or friends with someone like Peter, you lose sight of what your potential is. He is quite loyal for starters and he studied alongside Peter the Great from what I’ve been told. So..there was so much potential that is in Grigor..just needs to be pushed. Extremely hard. But don’t think I’ve pushed aside his little comment on my first night here. 

He is extremely attractive..I mean he’s tall, has beautiful green forest of eyes..maybe this is just sexual tension. I mean me having some sort of dream last night about him is sexual desire then I’m guilty. Even if I want to slap him across the face due to the comment from last night. Grigor is definitely one I would have molded into clay to have in my room. 

I’ll figure him out later. Getting up from the bench as I began twirling the cross for my walk towards Catherines apartment. If I knew we were going to stage a coup I would’ve brought my books and a trunk full of papers and pens. 

When I made it to the entrance of the apartment. The young man was standing at the entrance as I smiled at him. 

“Duchess Chiara to see Empress Catherine.” Smiling at him as they opened the door as I was led into her apartment. 

“Catherine! Coming in!” I yelled as she was sitting on the floor as she was talking with Count Orlov. Did she finally convince him? I’m going to assume so because the amount of pamphlets and books that were scattered around the room means they’re trying to start a draft of something.  

“Ah Count Orlov. Do you remember my cousin Duchess Chiara?” Waving to him as I noticed she was barefoot. Genius Catherine. Slipping off my boots as I tiptoed across her pamphlets to sit down across from her. 

“Does she?” He was going to ask the question but I nodded. Alright let me see what she’s got scattered across in her room. Dierdot, Kant, and even some Plato. Wow. We’re really trying to do a book club/Coup. Not that I don’t find the words of Plato interesting but...what person is wanting to listen to Plato when trying to change a country? 

“Ah yes. So I’ve written a 74 page treatise that should really get the people behind us on your ideals.” 

“74 pages?” Asking him as I was in shook. A little over stepping it wouldn’t you say? Do they not realize this is for the people and anything over at least two pages will make them lose interest. 

“I thought perhaps some Montaigne.” 

“I got stuck on Machiavelli. Read in the French translation he says the ends justify the means. But in the original Italian he merely asks..” Marial dropped the entire tray of tea cups as we all looked up at her. 

“Oh sorry. I was holding..holding that tray...and then I fell asleep listening to you both! Is this a coup or a fucking book club?” 

“She’s right Catherine. Remember what kind of environment you’re trying to rule. Most of these people don’t know how to read and write. So if we go on beginning to quote great men then why even stage a coup. We have to be original and sound like we truly care about them.” Catherine sighed as she got up from the ground to start walking back and forth. I crawled over to help Marial clean up all the broken tea cups. 

“Why do we not just kill him?” I love Marials enthusiasm of trying to get rid of Peter but killing him literally will not solve anything if we don’t have a good backbone of support and ideals. 

“Too messy. Anyways if we kill an Emperor, they will tie Catherine up by her toes and beat her with the blunt heads of pistols.” Marial sighed as she stopped picking up the cracked tea cups. 

“Next time he is on you, stab him in the face. In the back, Orlo cuts his throat, and then you are empress, and I am Lady Marial. The end.” Ah! It all makes sense now! How intelligent. They won’t kill them all in an instant. 

“But it..it is not so simple.” Sadly it isn't and Count Orlo is right. They will get shot and I’m not in the most chipperest of moods to lose my favorite cousin!

“The two most important things in any country is the main religion and the military. If you could at least get one of the two backing Catherine, you’re golden. Although they’re both extremely popular to everyone, I’d say get the military behind you Catherine. Fire scares more people than any man in the sky.” Forgive me God but I’m only trying to help. 

“We need the church to ratify her to the whole of Russia from the pulpit after, so they must support her.” Orlo pointed out as I nodded in agreement. Both are important to Governments damn it.  

“Not to mention if Ivan is alive, we need a sympathetic military for if we kill him before that is all in place, then the military and others may get behind Ivan, and run over Catherine in the process.” Whose Ivan? 

“No one even knows where Ivan is.” Again who is Ivan? 

“Who is Ivan?” Catherine and I both asked. 

“Ivan is Peter’s half-brother, bastard son to Peter the Great. His supporters tried to take the throne after Peter first came to power.” Buffa. If there’s a half son we will be royally screwed! And if they do find this Ivan we’re even more screwed! Not that I can get involved when the coup finally happens but I’m here to give it a good push. 

“I will find out where he is?” Now we’re doing a ghost hunt. What a fun time!

“How?” Count Orlo asked as we all looked upon Catherine.

“Cleverly.” 

“I suspect we need a year to get our pamphlets just right.” A year? Mamma mia at this point I’d rather watch paint dry! 

“It’s no wonder you never fuck anyone.” My eyes widened as I got up from the floor to sit on Catherine's bed. 

“You..you cannot speak to me like that!” 

“Because I am a serf?” 

“Because it’s rude.” A throat laugh began as I covered my mouth with my hand. Looking at the door as some strange man came walking into the room with a book in his hand! Oh shit! 

“How dare you! You just walk into my chambers sir!” My hand was slithering down to my left leg as I kept a dagger there. Tell me we already don’t have a spy. 

“I would have ridden, but my horse has trouble with stairs.” Smart ass. 

“Empress?” EVEN BIGGER OH SHIT! Standing up from the bed as I rapidly walked to stand next to Catherine. 

“Orlo, what are you doing here?” 

“He brought us some books. I left mine back home.” Chiming in as I waved at the Empress. 

“I...uh..thought the Duchess and Empress would be interested..”

“Oh God you’re dull. Get out!” I thought he was being somewhat helpful. 

“Sir.” 

“If you’ll excuse me Catherine.” Slipping out with Marial as we turned the corner but tried to listen in on what was going on. 

He’s giving her a lover? And is the name Leo..and has a big loch? It was either loch or cock but I sadly couldn’t hear what he said. Though he was loud sadly it was a little mumbled. He walked past us as I stared at the wall. Catherine came walking out from the bedroom as the three of us followed her. 

“Is that your lover?” Asking her as she rolled her eyes. 

“Sadly.” How can that be sadly because wow he’s a beautiful dessert.

“Catherine..he’s extremely good looking. I think I would have a sculpture molded from his face at home.” He would look quite beautiful right next to Da Vinci. Seems appropriate wouldn’t you think? Grigors sculpture would be on the left of Da Vinci if I lived in a perfect will. 

“It is disgusting that he would just give me a lover, like I am an animal to be serviced.” Looking up to Count Orlo who had no idea what to even say in this conversation. 

“You would be serviced well. He’s a Voronsky, they are well-known lovers.” I zoned out for a second till Orlo started panicking in front of us. Does he really think that Peter noticed all the pamphlets? He gives him more credit than he deserves because he doesn’t even know Catherine. He thinks of her as some dumb wife at the moment and she’s from Europe. Makes her quite the bookworm. 

“Fuck fuck fuck! The very week we start our adventure, Peter gifts you a man!” He slammed down everything on the table as the three of us watched him panic. 

“He’s well known to insert spies into situations because he’s paranoid that no one truly likes him. It’s something common he does oh fuck! Maybe he knows! And I was there and we had pamphlets about Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!” Approaching him as I gripped his shoulders. 

“Count Orlo will you please take one second and just breath!” Yelling as he stopped panicking and took in a very deep breath in. 

“Orlo will it make you feel better if I give him back?” Catherine asked him as he slightly nodded. 

“How? He’s Peter's gift.” I mean giving back a gift is a whole new world of being a giant dick. 

“Cleverly.” A boy came into the room and got everyone to stop talking. 

“Empress, you wanted to know when the dresses for the ladies’ tea arrived.” There’s no way they came in that quickly! We’ve got some fast fingers in our midst! Catherine and I smirked at each other as we began to walk off. 

“What dresses?” Marial asked as Catherine and I smirked. 

“Just wait and see!” Telling her as we linked arms to start walking out of her apartment. 

“Do you think this plan will work?” I asked Catherine as we hurried towards The Ladies tea room. What’s the best way you can get back at a woman besides being a gossiping old lady like them? Their appearance. Women of the court need to look their best constantly and if you destroy their image by one minor miscommunication. You bring down their entire existence. 

“Oh yes. Vlad. Have some tea ready for us when we get down there.” Catherine told him as we hurried into the tea room. 

“What colors did you make the dress?” I asked her as she smirked. 

“This extremely ugly green and purple. It's all the rage in Europe.” Ah yes I forgot they are. 

The wives were already gasping and filled with excitement for the new dresses as we walked over to the small tea table for us. I’m much more of a coffee person but I will dabble in tea of course. We sat down as I poured her the tea for the show to begin. We’re supposed to keep our eye on the stripped one that should be THERE IT IS! 

Watching the dress being bounced around as I took a sip of my tea waiting for someone to take a nice hold of it. That being The Lady that has the horse's face grabbed a hold of it as she held it up against her. She was smiling like an idiot as she turned towards Catherine and I. 

“Empress, do you like it?” Oh my god if I don’t drink my tea I will die of laughter. 

“Mhm. It looks marvelous.” 

“Truly wonderful colors mixing together.” Trying to be nice to the horse is extremely harder than it looks. 

“You will stand out.” In more ways than one. The face she placed on her horse face was a fake smile and she’s wearing far too much makeup. 

“As I always do.” I might throw up because of this conversation. She took the dress with her as we both looked at each other to give ourselves a little cheer. Fernanda came into the room as she was walking straight towards me. She leaned down towards my ear as I was told that Hernán had arrived. 

“Catherine I know you’ll be greeting the Generals. But my instructor has arrived and I do need to have my lessons.” Telling her as she nodded. We stood up as she stopped me to ask questions. 

“What lesson?” Catherine asked as I smiled. 

“Fencing, sabres, and actual sword fighting. Oh is there an empty hall that I may use” Asking her as she thought for a moment. 

“I’ll arrange the music hall to be yours. For as long as you need.” Perfect. 

“Thank you Catherine. Come by if you need me.” Fernanda and I left the tea room. 

My instructor was a day behind when I left Trento due to the fact this was a last second decision. Luckily he’s made it and I can get back into the habit of training with swords and sabres. I also owe Catherine a big thank you due to the fact that she’s letting me train in the music hall. PlusI imagine no one is going to be playing Handel or Arcangelo Corelli. 

Two of the servants followed me into the music hall as I was standing in an empty room. Guess he’s getting comfortable in his room. The servants placed down the trunk as I popped it open to look at my gear. How I have surely missed this. 

“Ah Duchess Chiara!” He yelled as I raised my head up from my fencing trunk. 

“Hernán Gil! Glad that you could make it to Russia extremely last second.” Placing my foot on the stool to fix my left boot. 

“Of course. Anything to get out of Palma. Hopefully you haven’t lost your touch with a sabre Dear Duchess.” He swung his sabre sword around in front of him as I put my foot down then into my fencing trunk. 

“Have I ever lost my touch?” Pulling my sabre out to do a few little tricks before we got into our positions. Standing across from one another with my left foot back and my right foot ancy ready to go. 

“Vamos!” He came swinging as I blocked his attack then swinging it around to then smack the sabre on his arm.

“Excellent!” He cheered as I took in a deep breath as both Hernán and I got into our standing positions. 

“Vamos!” Our blades instantly met as I spun my wrist trying to knock his sabre out of his hand. But he took a step back to try to aim for my head but I held my sabre horizontally to block his attack. He took a step back then swiftly smacked the sword against my shoulder. Cursing under my breath as I shook my head. 

“Cheap shot.” I laughed as we got back into our positions. 

“Vamos!” Raising my sabre as I tried to aim for his shoulder out of the corner of my eye Grigor came into the room to watch. That was a quick meet and greet from the Generals. Thought it would last a lot longer. 

All I could pay attention to was the fact that Grigor was just waiting for one of us to win so he could do something. What does he want? Blocking his outside attack to then move my sabre right into his chest. 

“Is there something I can help you with?” Taking off my mask as I was beginning to fix my gloves. Grigor shook his head as he approached me and looked like he had something stuck up his own ass. 

“You think strolling into the palace and our first introduction being a little bitch was something adorable?” Someone’s wife just got screwed. But not by his own cock. Does he not remember how that conversation started? Because I remember him saying that I was able to make his cock hard after my introduction to the Emperor. Most women would find that flattering, I find it repulsive. 

“Not adorable. I believe they call it an honest chap who calls you out on your wrong doings. Hernán if you want to take a break go for it. You’ve had a long journey.” Turning my attention completely on Grigor as Hernán left the room. Grigor marched towards me as I stood there watching this poor excuse of a man try to act as if he was a top bitch. Poor men like him make me sigh and want to drink for them. 

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” When he got a little close for comfort I stuck out my sabre to aim it directly in the middle of his chest. 

“Trust me. You don’t want to get any closer.” 

“You think you’re flimsy little sword scares me? It’s fake.” He pushed it away as I hit him in the shoulder with it. 

“Ouch!” He grabbed his arm to then march towards me with all of his wrath showing. Smacking him on his leg which caused him to yelp in pain. 

“I should have the guards whip you!” I would love him to try and have one of the guards lay a finger on me. Oh how I would love it!

“Grigor. I warn you. IF you think Russian women are crazy, you wouldn’t last a minute back in Italy. We women use our fist and words to solve our problems. Instead of whispers and tea parties like your wife.” He reached down for one of the fencing swords as if he was going to stab me. 

“Go ahead. Do you think you scare me? Catherine told me everything about you. You let the Emperor eat fruit out of your own wife’s cunt. If you let the Emperor walk all over you like that, then why would I let you try to intimidate me. You even threatened to have guards sent after me instead of dealing it yourself.” My sabre lashed towards the fencing sword of mine to knock it out of his hands. 

“Besides. You can’t lay one finger on my body. If one scar is placed on my body from you, the guards, or Peter himself. Italy joins the Swedish and we run over your little shit hole of a palace. Then I place my own private home in St. Petersburg and have you wash the floors.” The tip of my blade was underneath his chin as he kept a straight face. 

“I don’t like making threats but when you come storming in here expecting me to bend over to kiss your ass. A position you're familiar with obviously. But when you threaten to have the guards whip me well.” Grigor began storming off as I followed him very close. 

“Tell me Grigor. Do you wish this kind of life for yourself?” He kept shaking his head as I was trying to talk to him. 

“To allow some man child rule over such a beautiful country!” Halting in front of me to turn his heel sharply. 

“He’s not a man child!” He growled as he turned towards me. 

“And you’re a dumb ass. We can be doing this all day.” 

“What do you want?” 

“You approached me Grigor! I was quite content having my fencing lessons then you came waltzing in here expecting an apology. To quote my mother when I argue with my brothers from home. Ladies are not allowed to start fights, but we are surely allowed to finish them.” Grabbing his collar to pull him closer to me. 

“For once be a man and solve your own problems instead of cowering under the fucking bed.” Grigor's eyes widened at my statement as we just kind of stared at each other. I noticed that both my and Grigors bottom lips were shaking a little bit. Biting it to stop it twitching as I let go of him. 

“Forgive me. I can be..quite..of a dick when it comes to my passions.” Taking a step back as my throat gets dry. 

“I am too. Perhaps we both got off on the wrong foot with each other.” I placed down my sabre to rub my hands together. 

“Perhaps we did. After hearing what Catherine was doing through and Peter punching her in the stomach. I was sort of mad at the world and everyone in it.” 

“And with my wife..constantly sleeping with the Emperor. I’m sort of not in the right place with myself. May I reintroduce myself.” Grigor finished as I slightly smiled at him. 

“You may.” 

“Grigor Dymov.” He bowed as I was going to play along. 

“Duchess Chiara of Trento.” Holding out my hand for him to place a kiss on it. 

A quite refreshing restart. 

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[theoriginalladya]

28: any scene/line you wrote that you didn’t expect to write/that surprised you once it was written?

Simple answer:  ALL OF IT!  

Longer answer/explanation:  No, seriously, I first started getting interested in writing when I was in high school.  I’d go to every writer’s workshop they had whenever I could get out of class, and I really enjoyed it.  But then college hit and any/all creative juice I had just .. vanished.  WRITER’S BLOCK.  That lasted through college and on through grad school and even through my teaching years.  That didn’t mean I didn’t read or do research for potential story ideas - I did, but nothing ever got written but the notes.

After ten years or so, after I left teaching and moved to where I live now, after I got away from academia and started my life ‘over’, the muses started to poke at me.  Slow at first, but it started trickling out.  (I look back now and shudder at those pieces - which I still have, some 25 years later)  I found encouragement in unexpected places (my now Ex, for starters; I sure wasn’t going to get it from my family, even if they knew I was trying to write), and it kept on going.

The biggest push was when my Ex got me Dragon Age for Christmas in 2009.  That changed my whole world!  Story ideas started to flow.  Mass Effect created a TIDAL WAVE, and it hasn’t stopped yet.  My fandoms are relatively limited (DA, ME, Horizon Zero Dawn (maybe), Werewolf: The Apocalypse), but I’ve now ventured back toward writing original fiction too, and so ... yeah.

ALL OF IT.  

But, if you want something more specific, hmm ...  *rolls d20 ....*

~~~~

(taken from my WIP, Mari’s Men; this is the initial draft and needs editing, but it’s a story I am incredibly invested in and will some day be satisfied with)

“Someone approaches.”

Little John’s whispered warning was just loud enoughto catch Marian’s ears.  Carefully, sheeased her way far enough out onto the tree branch to glimpse the figureapproaching them.  From this height andstill distant, all she could determine was that he was dressed in darkclothing.  It was several minutes beforeshe could narrow it down to the black robes of a priest.  He stood tall, broad shouldered, and had thegeneral shape of a man who might be a soldier, she thought.  

“Black canon,” Much mumbled from below.  The shrubs surrounding him showed only theslightest hint of movement as he altered his position, resembling that of abreeze blowing through.  

Her gaze turned again to the man approaching.  Much, as a hunter, had excellent eyesight andcould see more detail than she or even Little John from further away.  She quickly considered her options.  She had inherited Robyn today, so thedecision was hers to make.  There weredangers in approaching men of the cloth and incurring their wrath or the wrathof the good Lord above was not on Marian’s list of duties this day.  “I will speak to him,” she murmured beforescurrying backwards on the limb.  Shecarefully lowered herself to the ground behind the base of the tree andadjusted her hood.  Drawing her bow andnocking an arrow into place, she took a deep breath before stepping out ontothe path.

Robyn’s timing was, as always, excellent and thepriest, now near enough to recognize as a black canon as Much suggested, wasbrought up short.  “Why do you block myway?” he demanded irritably.

Robyn, bow still lowered, stood casually before him,hood drawn far enough forward to hide the upper half of his face fromonlookers.  “You travel through my landswithout permission,” he replied.  “Paythe tax and you shall be free to continue.”

The priest scowled, eyes narrowing as if trying topeer beneath the hood.  “These are theking’s lands.”

“And I am caretaker for good King Richard,” Robyncountered.  “Know this, you will pay oneway or another before we are through. Either the tax with coin, or with your life for trespassing on theking’s land.  What say you?”

The canon straightened, rising to his full heightwhich was substantially taller than Robyn. “And you expect to enforce this law of yours?” he scoffed.  He took a step forward towards Robyn.

Robyn, quicker than it took to blink, had his bowraised, aimed at the man’s heart, pulled the bowstring to its fullextension.  The canon wore no armor; thepiercing would go straight through.  “Ido,” Robyn replied, “and I should think you would see that.  I wish no quarrel with you, canon.”

“No,” the prior replied, “you wish only to rob me ofwhat I do not have.”

Robyn’s head tilted slightly to the side.  “The nearest priory is that of Thurgarton,”he decided.  “Do not tell me you aredestitute.  The conditions of the canonsthere are well known among the rest of the world.”

“I am a prior of Fiskerton,” he said.  Another scowl, darker this time, marked hisface.  “I was banished from Thurgartonbecause I opposed Prior Thomas.”

“Don’t believe him, Robyn!” shouted Little John fromthe left.

“Aye,” Much called out.  From the way his voice carried, he had workedhis way around the priest without notice. “They tax us as heavily as the king and his family!”

“We don’t!” the canon insisted.  Sighing, he pinched the bridge of hisnose.  “Or, rather, I don’t.  I was banished fromThurgarton was because I protested the deviation from the traditions of ourorder: poverty, chastity and obedience.”

“Banished?” Robyn challenged.  “I find that difficult to believe!”

“He lies!” Much shouted, now further to Robyn’s rightbut still behind the canon.  Robyn had nodoubt the man’s bow was aimed and ready.

“My disagreements with Prior Thomas run deep,” heinsisted.  “We both were in the runningfor the position.  Unfortunately for me,Thomas has a better relationship with Prince John.”

Betterrelationship.  They acerbic tone he used left no doubt thatthis prior was, like many others within the church, expecting to be brought upthrough the ranks along with the future king.

“And if you had succeeded instead of Prior Thomas?”Robyn asked.

His eyes were dark to begin with and the slits theynow became were enough to hint at anger, deep and profound.  “Thurgarton would be a better community,” hereplied, “and one not so closely tied to a spoiled prince.”

It was that last that caught Robyn’s attention and thepure hatred (??) in his tone that made the final decision.  Carefully relaxing hold on the bowstring andlowering the weapon, Robyn said, “If you are from Fiskerton, why are you notthere now?”

“Even that has now been denied me,” he replied.  “Prior Thomas, with Prince John’s support,has relieved me of my duties.”  Hesighed, eyes looking upward toward the tree-filled sky.  “I was heading north and considering myoptions.”

“Why north?”

“It is where the road leads?”  He shrugged, eyes falling to settle uponRobyn again.  “I have little but what Iwear,” he admitted.  “I have no coin forlodging or food.  Kill me if you must, butI leave nothing behind.”

Stepping forward, Robyn waved a hand so Little Johnand Much could see it.  “What if I wereto offer you a cathedral beneath the skies, canon?” Robyn asked.  “According to those in positions of power, weare nothing but a group of misguided souls. But we are more than that, and we could use spiritual guidance, if youare of a mind.”

He drew back a step or two and the startled expressionwas easy to identify.  “To what end?”

“Chastity. Poverty.  Obedience,” Robynreplied.  “The poverty we can provide,the chastity, well, I wouldn’t hold your breath on that count.”  Both Little John and Much chuckled.  They were nearer now, but still remained outof easy sight.  “The obedience would beup to you and your skills of persuasion. Do you search for a challenge?”

The canon blinked a few times, looked around them fora moment, then back at Robyn.  “Acathedral under the skies, you said?”

Robyn nodded. “Our camp is in the forest.  Yourcongregation among those most persecuted. This is the only home they have. They come to us willingly, each aiding according to their ownabilities.  We have bakers and tanners,blacksmiths, armorers, seamstresses and ….”

The prior nodded, cutting off Robyn’s speech.  “And outlaws,” he concluded in a voice loudenough for Much and Little John to hear, “in desperate need of Divineintervention.”  Taking a deep breath, hesaid, “I will gladly take on the duties of spiritual advisor, master outlaw,but with one stipulation.”

“That being?”

“I get to speak to you face to face and see you eye toeye.”

A moment of stunned silence rippled around the area,and Robyn heard sputtered protests rise from Much and Little John.  Raising a hand, they silenced.  “I am but a name, priest,” Robynreplied.  “A rumor, a legend among thelocal folk.  I am nothing but --”

“You are their leader, are you not?” hecountered.  “I will give my pledge toyou, and you alone, but I would do it face to face.”

Sighing, Robyn nodded. Shouldering the bow, gloved hands rose and carefully eased the hoodback, settling it around Marian’s neck. She looked up at the priest, green-grey eyes meeting stark brown for along moment and not flinching.  Offeringher hand, she told him, “Welcome to Sherwood, prior.  Have you a name we can call you?”

Unfazed by the appearance of a woman beneath thearcher’s clothing, he extended a hand and took hers.  “Tuck,” he replied.  “I am called Prior Tuck.”

Marian smiled, full recognition settling in.  “And you might have heard of me as LadyMarian FitzWalter,” she told him, “if you have been in these parts for anylength of time.  But these days I am LadyMarian of Loxley.”

His eyes widened in surprise.  “Lord William’s sister?”  She nodded. “I was sent to Fiskerton just after your brother’s return as lord,” heexplained.  “I heard that you came withhim to visit his lands.”

“It has been a long time, and things are certainlydifferent than I hoped,” she said.  

“I thought you were governing in your brother’sabsence?”

“I am,” she agreed, “but Providence has given me anotherpurpose as well.”  Little John and Muchjoined them then and Marian introduced them. “The legend of Robyn and his hoode has taken on new meaning these days,and we try to put it to good use.”

“The Lord has truly guided me then,” he murmured.  “In all honesty, once I was relieved of myduties at Fiskerton, I had no idea where to go. I thought perhaps to York or other points north, but I know no onethere.”

Smiling, Marian nodded towards the north andeast.  “Come with us, prior,” she encouraged.  “We have just what you need.”

[alanakusumas]

the night before beitan (alana x damien) (fluff)

Pairing: Alana x Damien

Fandom: Perfect Match

Rating: PG

Summary: The night before the infamous mission in Beitan, Alana and Damien share some soft moments with one another, unknowing of the hell-ish chain of events that’s about to break loose.

Author’s note: hey fools! i haven’t posted fic in a while this is just a quick drabble that i drafted up today as i hope y’all know by now that i’m a damien and alana stan first and boo boo the fool second anyway enjoy // also i listened to this song while writing and i just think it’s so fitting

The foggy night sky has draped over Beitan for several hours now, yet Damien finds himself still pacing back and forth in their hideout with a coffee in hand. At this point, the coffee serves as nothing but a placebo to keep him motivated to stay up and review their maps laid out on the coffee table for tomorrow. Despite his team succeeding with flying colors for the past few months, Damien knows there’s always risk involved in every shootout, so it’s always better to extra cautious for any situation that hits.

The Interpol agent bounces back and forth from deep focus, to reverting back to present time, to deep focus, to present time, to deep focus - until he hears the familiar sultry voice of a young woman that pulls him back to reality.

“You know that no matter how prepared we are, we still can’t prevent every possible thing that happens, right?”

Damien glances up to see his partner leaning against the door frame of their bedroom, wavy hair slightly tousled from laying in bed, eyes drooping slightly from just waking up. She’s wearing her favourite pair of satin pj pants, and a loose cami that rests casually on top of her chest. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was,“ Alana says, “but it doesn’t really help when you’re a light sleeper with a risky job - and you wake up to rustling outside your room.”

Sheepishly, Damien shrugs, although a shadow of concern still remains on his visage. “Sorry, I’m just double-triple-checking that we have everything set in stone for tomorrow.”

“I’m sure we’re fine.” Alana begins to pace towards him, hands stretched outward to wrap them around his arm as she stands beside him. “Is there anything I can do to put your mind at ease?”

“Well, for starters,” Damien leans against her frame, “Inventory. A) are all our weapons loaded and b) is there enough gear for everyone?”

“A) Yup, and b) we watched Miguel count everything in front of us.”

“And we’ve confirmed with Drew that our target is still meeting his suppliers at 4:45am today.”

He feels her nod against his arm, a faint murmur of agreement escaping her lips. Damien can tell that Alana eagerly wants to get this list done with, just so they can head to bed in each others arms. “So far, his contact hasn’t updated us with any time or location changes.”

“Right. And are we sure we’ve evacuated the vicinity of our stakeout?”

His partner sighs peacefully. “Yes, we did. Just the immediate area though; we can’t clear out the entire neighbourhood, otherwise that’d look too suspicious from afar.”

With a heavy sigh, he gulps down the rest of his coffee. He’s still kinda worried, but unlike how the pair was two years ago, his worries are now Alana worries as well. And he can’t risk two sleepless Interpol agents for their upcoming mission. “If you say so.”

“I know so,” Alana whispers faintly into his ear, before pressing a soft kiss against his cheek...down his jawline...and finally turning him so she can hold his head in her hands and capture his lips gently with hers. Damien pulls her close, using his free hand to grip the small of her back as he relishes in this sweet exchange for a second longer.

With her eyes still shut, Alana takes his hand off her back and begins to tug him towards their bedroom. When she opens them, Damien sees nothing but adoration emanating from her chocolate brown eyes.

He sets the coffee mug on top of the maps. He’ll wash it in the morning after their mission succeeds.

Alana crawls underneath the sheets first, the table lamp giowing against her skin as she watches her partner slip out of his grey Henley and slacks.

“Damn,” She teasingly swoons, “I miss seeing those abs,”

Damien rolls his eyes in his girlfriend’s famous fashion. “Same here.”

“You mean you miss seeing my abs too or you miss your own?”

“Both.”

Alana lets out a light chuckle and pats the empty space beside her in their bed. “Get in here.”

As soon as he slips into the sheets with her, she switches the lamp off and absentmindedly rests her hand against his chest, while his sits on top of her waist. The distance between their bodies keeps it cool for them underneath the comforter, but close enough so they can sense the other’s presence in bed.

Alana already has her eyes shut, ready to drift off into slumber for the next few hours. Damien, on the other hand, stays awake for a few more moments to admire the woman he’s lucky enough to be with.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

“Mm...Incredible - and beautiful.” A hearty chuckle escapes Damien as he leans in to leave a light peck on her forehead. Leave it to Alana to be half-asleep and still come up with witty comebacks.

“And I appreciate you sooo much.”

A peck to the nose. “Mmhm.”

“And I’m the luckiest man on Earth right now.”

A peck on the lips. “Mm.”

“And I just want you to know that I...I love you.”

“...”

Damien glances up. Alana is already sound asleep. He didn’t realize how exhausted she must have been, just like he was.

Maybe it was for the best that she didn’t catch his last words. After all, she’s in every single way more incredible than he is - incredibly dynamic...and talented...intelligent...sexy...

He leaves one last kiss on her cheek before drifting off into a restless slumber himself. She is just incredible.

She’s an incredibly light sleeper too, for when she’s certain that her boyfriend is fast asleep, she flutters her eyes open once more, listening to the heavy inhales and exhales he takes when he’s deep in dreamland.

“I love you too.” She says back.

[theliterateape]

Four Words That Will Change Your Life (and the Internet)

by Don Hall

"If you’re not a liberal when you’re 25, you have no heart. If you’re not a conservative by the time you’re 35, you have no brain."

Churchill did not say this. Attributed to him but completely inconsistent with his own political journey (Conservative at 15 and Liberal at 35) the quote joins a rather long list of quotes he was supposed to have said, but didn't.

To quote the Mandalorian, "This is the way."

As is often the case, who said it is less relevant that what was said. I mean, somebody said it even if they just made it up to falsely attribute to Churchill, right? That somebody had a point and the point is that people change their ideologies with experience. That is true no matter if it were Churchill or the batshit crazy cat lady on the street corner with the tinfoil hat and the shoes made of stuffed animals.

Experience forces perspective. If one is open to that perspective change, this new information allows the ideology to shift one way or the other.

A friend recently told me he thought I had gained a modicum of wisdom in my advancing age. He then stopped and corrected himself "Maybe it's not wisdom but age plus exhaustion. You aren't wiser so much as you are too tired to be the dumbass of your youth." There is some truth to the assessment. I am too tired to fight the same meaningless fights as I was so thirsty for in my younger days. Some of them are no longer relevant; most are just dull in repetition. 

I find myself get ginned up about some thing in the news or online. I start to write about the bigotry of Critical Race Theory or the pernicious grip Trump has on the bizarre amalgam of GOP legislators. I get bored or tired or filled with a sense of futility so I write about something I watched on Netflix or pop out 3,000 words in my draft of the book on working at the casino. The angry piece gets sidelined and I move on to something else.

I've always been a fairly angry guy but anger (usually a response to some other less proactive emotional state like fear or despair) takes a fuck-ton of energy and with age goes the energy. 

Oh, boo-fucking-hoo! When the life expectancy of the human body used to be around thirty years, you made it to fifty-five without too many dents in your fender and now you're bitching about needing more naps?

Not complaining. Just acknowledging the inevitable loss of steam to fuel the pissed-off. The other noticeable difference is that I can see clearly how my mind has been changed on so many things since I was young, dumb, and fulla cum. 

At a time of such stridency and polarization (and let's be honest here, it's almost always been like this—we just have social media to stick it in our faces at nearly every waking hour and we're all fucking addicted to our devices like truck drivers and five-dollar whores) being able to both change your mind but also admit it and move on is quite the sign of either wisdom or age+exhaustion.

Back when I was a giant fatass, if you asked me about hitting the gym, my reaction would be the derision of a true believer in delusional fitness. I was strong(ish) but horribly out of shape and strolling leisurely down the path of late-stage diabetes and heart failure at the ripe age of forty-five.

Out of nothing but vanity, I started working out regularly. I lost eighty pounds (the equivalent of four and a half bowling balls strapped to my frame) and found a sense of Zen that my otherwise lazy rage-boner could drill.

Today, while not one of those wheat-grass drinking, Instagram humping fitness cultists, I think that a bit of exercise could do everyone some good. My mantra is simple: any exercise is better than no exercise. If all you can manage is a single pathetic push-up, do it. One push-up is better than no push-ups.

In terms of a massive change of mind, this single shift is significant in that it has been life-changing. Despite my smoking (years sucking on cigarettes and now more years on pipes) and my waning tolerance for too much alcohol (a coupla beers and a shot pretty much does me in these days) I'd wager I've added at least a few years toward the finish line. 

The change Churchill decidedly did not make note of (but note was made, that can be certain) is a sign of evolution. Not growing gills or something bizarrely nineties as all that but a personal evolving from a stupid twenty year old to a slightly less stupid fifty-five year old. In the grand scheme of things, less stupid may be a low bar to clear but it's at least a goal.

In the 1990's, as with all twenty-two year olds, I thought I had it all under control. I knew the world, saw its hypocrisies, and fully believed I was as put together and confident as a frat boy with a roofie and a Scooby Doo van. I easily dismissed anyone over the age of thirty as a sell-out, anyone past forty as societally obsolete, and couldn't believe that anyone past fifty wasn't walking around asking people who shit their pants.

And, like twenty-two year olds of every decade in every generation, I was a self righteous cunt about it.

In terms of evolving, in experience changing my mind about fundamentals, it took some trudging through certain trenches and seeing the world from multiple angles to shift perspective.

“Do what you love. The money will follow.”

Bullshit. As a younger man I loved this mythological smegma on my chest but it simply isn’t true. The more correct version is “Do what you love because you will lie on your deathbed one day and if you spent your one life doing what you despise so you could buy shit, you’re a fucking moron.”

This epiphany came to me after years of experience because that's how these things go. 

The ability to change one's mind does not come from other people telling you what to do. Sure, instructions are helpful but being told what to believe is almost always a non-starter. This has been true for all time as far as I can tell. 

Two things are at play in today’s marketplace of ideas: the ability to change one’s mind and the desire to demand fealty to competing sets of beliefs. Most people have the skill to take in new information, reflect upon it, and shift perspective. Few are willing to shift perspective taking orders from others.

In the grand scheme of things, less stupid may be a low bar to clear but it's at least a goal.

When Vegas was in the early stages of COVID shutdown, I genuinely believed it was overblown and Chicken Little hysteria. “It’s just like the flu!” I recall saying to guests on the casino floor. I made jokes about licking machines and drinking Purell. Then the information started rolling out as scientists began to truly understand the gravity of the situation.

I changed my mind. I began to take it seriously. I did the reading and paid attention. 

“You said it was just like the flu a week ago!”

“I did. I was wrong.”

Those three words cannot be forced. They cannot be scolded into existence. They cannot be demanded. “What if you’re wrong?” is far less powerful than “What if I’m wrong?”

That’s really the essence of the thing. If more of us asked ourselves that question perhaps the marvel of digital communication would be less populated by wannabe neighborhood watch types vomiting out their putrid opinions on how everyone else is wrong. Maybe—just maybe—we could relax a bit and reflect on our own perspective shifts and engage in society with more grace than an angry, underserved nun with a hard-on for punishing those around her.

When I was in my twenties, I was terrified of homosexuality, I voted for Ronald Reagan, I drank until I blacked out and got into bar fights, I treated sex like it was a prize to win through manipulation. No one shamed me for these ideas. At some point, with experience and at least an ounce or two of self-reflective ability, I asked myself if I was wrong. I was wrong so I changed my mind and thus my behavior.

The goal is to become a better human before your clogged heart shuts down or a bus casually caves in your rib cage. The goal is not to focus on the guy in the Walmart parking lot screaming about the government making him wear a surgical mask to buy cheap macaroni and powdered cheese or the woman pushing the white fragility book on you. The goal is to become better at this life before it ceases to be.

To become better, ask yourself “What if I’m wrong?”

[a-cai-jpg]

let’s go on a rly badly made rollercoaster (hopefully you’ll make it back home)

So throughout the day, as I took breaks between my angry typing in response to some videos I had to watch for work, I thought about what I wanted to write about today. 

I wanted to write about something I wanted to write about if that makes sense. For so much of the past few years, I've written things that other people wanted me to write about, in a mannerism other people preferred. Something vaguely academic and smart-sounding, with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Here is my thesis, here is how I'm going to prove that I'm right and you're wrong, and here is me making a half-hearted effort to consider your obviously incorrect opinion before reasserting the fact that I am right.

(i kid, i believe that intelligence is the ability to consider multiple realities. i grapple too often with the notion of absolute truth, breathless and terrified of falling into a great, black mindhole. of course i don't actually believe i am Right.)

But honestly, I like writing that meanders, that starts somewhere, and then goes somewhere far, and then ends up right next to where it first began. Why measure displacement when you can measure distance?

(I say all of this, but the most common criticism I have of anyone's writing is "your purpose is unclear and you barely made an effort to achieve it. highly recommend re-thinking your thesis.")

And I had things I wanted to talk about. Like, what watching television means for me and why it's so difficult to commit to a show. Or, what about why I hate it when people ask me, "How are you?" as a conversation-starter after months of not-talking. Or, maybe the very firm stance I hold that Les Miserables is a far superior musical to the Phantom of the Opera (again, I respect your opinion and probably think you're wrong if you think otherwise but hey, what is absolute truth amirite?).

And all of those things will perhaps one day make its way onto this webpage, a data cache amidst billions, trillions, I don't actually know how the Internet works, and I find it so fascinating that I am writing these words into existence and releasing it into the universe and one day it will make its way into someone's mind lifetimes later and--

I do this thing a lot, where I feel something very strongly, for no apparent reason. And then, I pull out the notes app on my phone, and I write.

And I've written about this notes-app-writing-thing that I do...on the notes app. And a lot of it is quite nice, and a lot of it will never be read by anyone else but future me. And I expect, a lot of it will make its way onto this very same webpage because everything I'm writing is everything I've written before.

I used to have this idea, definitely inspired by a movie but I can't quite remember the title, about how your dreams are always constructed of people, things, and places you've seen before. Then a friend was like, "Ok, then how does anyone get a new idea?" And then I was like, "Yo, fight the movie, don't fight me." (No, actually, I was like, "But reality and dreams are different" and then the conversation just spiraled.)

But this idea that everything in your dream is everything you've seen before makes me wonder if everything that will be created has already been created. After all, how does time work for a supreme being or Supreme Being (capital S, hello)? Like, is the universe's space and time laid out flat like a globe if you cut the seams or like--

(I think I'm going off track.)

(What I meant to say is--)

So, instead of writing about things that I have half-formed thoughts about, I'm going to write about something that I have definitely talked about but never written and/or thought about writing about okay here we go--

We used to talk about which one we liked more: the sunrise or the sunset. We had all ubiquitously said something like, "I know most people pick ____, but I think I like the ____ more."

And see, time has passed in a way that's rubbed sand over the words you said, and I can't quite remember which one was which. 

We talked about many things, mountains and gallons of words spent between us, spiraling from our lips like they were on the urgent journey to create something greater. Someone might have thought that these words would make their way into a future for us, a novel written so that we only have to live through the pages, but did you know that the words you speak write only your past?

And I think I lied when I said this is something I talked about but have never written about, because I choke on the words when I try to describe you and my head becomes fuzzy and I can't quite remember, but when I write about you, you become clear, melting into letters that flow from my chest to my fingers.

Look, this is the unfortunate truth. You have become simultaneously more and less than you. In my reality, you are who you have been in the past, when I still knew you, and that "you" has been embedded in my writing. You have become a theme, a string of motifs, a character sometimes, or even entire stories. 

And in your reality, you are becoming someone that I will never get to know.

(I am not talking about a person, I am talking about a collection of abstract ideals.)

Recently, I watched a Korean drama about characters in a comic book. It got me thinking about what happens to the stories we write, the stories we brew in our minds. When I was in middle school, I used to write stories in my head all the freaking time. I remember I couldn't finish the story, I was terrified of finishing the story, because what happens to the characters after the story ends?

(I came to terms with my existential crisis at the ripe young age of 7 years old, so why were the aftereffects catching up to me in fucking 7th grade?)

Cue character development--I'm still dealing with the fear of not living with my head in the clouds, but hey, at least I know how to end stories now.

(Not in the technical sense, in the literal sense. I once ended a story by adding another paragraph, and then another epilogue, and then another paragraph, until I finally closed the Word document and submitted it. Thus, effectively ending it.)

But I still wonder, what does happen to a story once you let it go? I've created countless worlds, drafted enough conversations to make my mouth go dry, seen the lives and deaths of enough people to be some sort of supreme being (lowercase s) in my own sense, but where does it all go?

I really try not to, but sometimes I entertain the idea that somehow, it goes on without me. A half-formed world with a crumbling sky and a cliff that falls into absolute oblivion, but there, underneath the sprawling tree, the heroine is.

She is.

And maybe then, we are.

We are, in the future that we had planned but isn't quite the one we're currently living. We are sitting at that lake I told you about, drinking cider and eating onigiri and watching the sunset. We are driving up the mountain, but really, you are the one driving because you were the one who got your driver's license first, and the rest of us are sprawled in the backseat screaming at your headrest as you nearly kill us by scraping our rental car against a railing. We are planning your wedding, looking your partner up and down, ignoring you when you say, "No really, they're my soulmate, I love them, god, Annette, can you believe it? Soulmates are real" and we are--

Man, we are all those things, but we never thought further beyond that, huh?

So maybe, we are ends.

And so maybe, all those stories ended too, when I closed the chapter in my head and put the metaphorical pen down and took a deep breath and lived my life, this real one where things hurt and things make me cry and laugh and love. But then, hey, maybe, we really did write the future. Because we are and will continue to be everything we had planned, 11 years old and sitting at my Windows XP. Until we are not. 

But even if we are not, you still are. And I still am.

Daily song rec:

Saturn by Sleeping at Last

This song fucking gets me man. Sometimes I feel something deeply sad well inside me when I hear the lyrics. But also, is this not the most beautiful melody ever written?

(The Korean drama is “Extraordinarily You.”)

[whatwouldfrogsdo]

Red (or Memories)

Day 7 of Nursey Week!

Thanks to everyone who’s been reading these. It’s been so much fun. Happy Nursey’s-birthday-day!

Also on AO3 here.

This reporter for the Daily is counting her blessings today that she sat next to the Samwell Men’s Hockey (SMH) goalie, Chris Chow, in Physics this year. Not only did he brighten up an otherwise torturous class, but it was with his help that we secured an exclusive interview with the NHL’s newest Samwell star, Derek Nurse. The soon-to-be Red Wings’ rookie shows up in a jersey he says came through the post that morning. It’s not the one he will eventually wear on the ice, but a gift from the Michiganian team following his signing. It’s a shockingly bright shade of red, and it’s accompanied with the green hat the defenseman is rarely seen without, and a beard which rivals the one he grew during the playoffs this year. He gets a soy amaretto latte, and turns his phone to silent before we start.

(SD) Thanks for coming here today! How does it feel to be an NHL player? (DN) It’s surreal. Everyone else is getting ready to go into senior year and I’m moving to Detroit. Of all of us to go professional, I didn’t think it would be me first. I mean, you’ve got Chowder [Chris Chow, rising senior and SMH alternate captain] who’s a mad genius in the goal, and Will - Dex [William Poindexter, rising senior and incoming SMH captain] - who… Well, you know, we’ve been d-partners since we were frogs. He’s gonna make a great captain. Of course, it probably would have been Chowder if half the team hadn’t forgotten when they were voting that NCAA rules about goalies being captains are different to NHL, but Will’s gonna make a great captain.

And, of course, there’s more to your relationship with him than just on the ice… Yeah, sure. He’ll hate it if I wax poetic in an interview, though. I better start practicing not saying anything about him for when I’m dealing with paps. Besides, anyone who had that Geography class with us last semester is sick of us.

So we’re not going to talk about being the first openly LGBTQIA+ player to be signed? It’s not that big a deal. Jack’s out. [Jack Zimmermann captained the SMH team for a record three years, before signing with the Providence Falconers in 2015. He was given the A after just a few months with the team, and became the first openly LGBTQIA+ player in the NHL earlier this year when he announced his relationship with now-outgoing SMH captain, Eric Bittle]

Jack has also been very open about mental health awareness. Rumor has it that this is another area you'll be following in his footsteps. Yeah. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was sixteen, so it's a topic pretty close to my heart. And so many people in our generation have mental health issues, so it's a really big deal. I remember one roadie we ended up in rooms of three so it was me, Will and Chow. We lined up all our medication and I think if I remember right we had about ten lots between us. Course, some of that was vitamins or Tylenol or whatever but the point stands.

So are you and Jack going to do anything together to talk about these issues? It's been discussed. I have to meet with Red Wings PR before I can commit to anything, though. They might want me to keep my head down the first year or so, before I start talking about all these things that were just avoided in the NHL for so many years.

How about playing against your former captain? Will that be strange? Not just one former captain, and yes of course it will be, but I'm ready to start showing them up.

Right. You're actually the third Samwell student to go into the NHL in three years. Yeah, that’s pretty crazy. We’re all in the same division, too, though maybe that makes sense, with it being this area. Holster [Adam Birkholtz, who signed with the Boston Bruins last year] keeps going on about reunions and the All Star game, but I think he’s forgotten that there’s fifty other players they’d pick before they even considered putting rookies on the team. Hell, he was playing AHL this year, and I’ll probably end up in that same boat.

Maybe in the future, though! Maybe. Who knows, we might have some more NHL prospects in the team. I already mentioned Chowder and Dex, but Whiskey [Miguel Alves Guimaraes, rising junior] was drafted to the [Philadelphia] Flyers [in 2015, opting to play NCAA first to get his degree], and I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one out of Tango [Tony Gallegos, rising junior] and Kingsley [Deonte King, rising sophomore] manage to sign. I’m sure we can get together a Samwell alumni team once there’s enough of us in the League.

I know you said you weren’t going to talk about William Poindexter, but can I ask how he feels about you signing before your senior year? Is it going to make him more or less likely to pursue a professional career himself? He’s furious. Sure, there’s the two hour flight, and the fact that he’s New England through and through so he can’t physically let himself support a team that isn’t the Bruins or the Falconers, but mostly he’s pissed ‘cause he tried the jersey on and it clashes so horribly with his hair. He went darker than it when I pointed that out. He blushes to sort of Samwell red. As for how it is me going now instead of next year… It just means that we’ve been pushed into figuring stuff out a little earlier. I remember with Ransom [Justin Oluransi, class of ‘16] and Holster, it was really strange watching them try and decide where they were going to go, when they were both trying to make their own individual decisions and not affect each other’s but we all knew eventually they would try and stay in the same place as each other. I’m glad Will and I don’t have that to go through next year, anymore. He knows where I am for the moment. He also knows that it’s hockey and I could get traded at any time, so there’s no point him looking for jobs in Detroit just because that’s where I’ll be, because what if next season I’m in Arizona or somewhere instead? I can’t really say if he wants to go pro or not. I just can’t say.

Can’t because you don't know or because you're not allowed? That’s a very blurry line.

If you did get traded, where would you like to go? Hey, chill, I haven’t even moved out of the [SMH frat] Haus yet. And it really will be good to be in Detroit. My sister lives there. But, if I have to pick one, I’d like the [New York] Rangers. Who doesn’t have a dream of playing for the team they grew up supporting? And it’d be ‘swawesome to live in Manhattan again. Or, either of the New England teams would be cool, both because of getting to play with former teammates again, and because Will might actually cheer me on.

So when you play the Bruins or the Falconers with the Red Wings… [He laughs] Yeah, Jack and Holster are gonna get all the support over me.

We normally reserve this question for commencing seniors but as you’re going to miss that, what’s your best memory of Samwell? Oh, f**k. I don’t know, man. There’s too many to count. The SMH [team] don’t believe in dull moments.

How about what you’re going to miss the most? Graduation, for starters. [He laughs]. Ah, but Bitty [Eric Bittle]’s pies, and obviously all the team. I’ll still see them as often as I can but them not being right there in the same place will be strange.

And, finally, I think I already know what you’re going to say for this but who are your biggest Samwell inspirations? F**k yeah, you know what I’m going to say. Every one of those boys from SMH are amazing. Some of them can be jerks sometimes, but they’re great. Jack Zimmermann went and came out in the NHL at the perfect time for me so he’s my hero. Larissa Duan [class of ‘16, and former SMH team manager] is, like, the most amazing artist and one day we’re going to write a book together. Or, I’ll write and she’ll illustrate. Justin Oluransi, standing up for his own happiness, and proving that stereotypes are complete bulls**t. He’s the main reason I had the courage to go pro, so I owe a lot to him. Adam Birkholtz played B League Juniors when he was younger, and now has got himself into the NHL, and did you see his protest against Trump when the White House wrote all mention of Jews out of the Holocaust Memorial Day statement? What a legend. [Birkholtz at protests in Boston in January can be found on all Samwell Daily social media pages] Eric Bittle, was an openly gay NCAA captain before his boyfriend came out. He’s also 99% the reason I didn’t starve the past three years, and he learnt how to bake without dairy just for me. S**tty [B. Knight, class of ‘17] who’s been there for me longer than anyone else besides my family. [SD: Do you know his first name, then? DN: He has a first name?] And of course, my best friends, Chris Chow, Caitlin Farmer [rising senior and incoming Samwell Women’s Volleyball team captain - see next week’s edition!] and Will Poindexter. I love all three of them in majorly different ways, and Samwell wouldn’t have been the same without them.

With those touching words about some of Samwell’s biggest personalities, past and present, the interview is over. I thank Derek again for meeting with me, and he responds, with a wink, that it’s chill and that he didn’t want ESPN to get his first interview. His face lights up when he looks over to the door and sees the three people he just named as his best friends. They're all wearing Samwell athletics hoodies, and Will Poindexter holds one out for Derek who pulls it over the Red Wings jersey before stepping outside. He still has a few more weeks of Samwell before trading crimson in for bright red, after all.

[anneedmonds]

Life Update: Sobbing, Sneaking and The First Day At School

Angelica starts school tomorrow, but I tell you what feels most weird about today, which is officially known as First Day Of School Eve: the fact that I’m not writing my monthly update in a panic at ten minutes to midnight! Yes that’s right, my friends, I’m actually writing this in daylight – everyone is up and about and bustling around the house, the doorbell keeps ringing and the dog keeps barking and in the distance I can hear a lorry trying to drive beneath a tunnel of low-hanging tree branches. Crunchhhhh-crackkkk-bang. Gets them every time!

I have to write this now because later on this evening I am back to the unending trauma of launching an app and all of the complicated administrative issues that it throws up. I now know things about servers and databases and cname records that I had no intention of ever knowing; I was quite happy being completely oblivious to the workings of a Virtual Private Server, I was content with my naivety regarding the screenshot upload requirements for submitting an app to the App Store. I didn’t ever picture myself researching content management systems for nine hours straight, or having to sit on Live Chat with a tech “helper” (not helping) for forty-five minutes at a time.

Silver lining: the app stuff has occupied me so thoroughly, I’ve not really had much of a chance to mope around about the school thing. The truth is, Angelica is well ready for school – I can almost sense the boredom, sometimes, when I suggest that we play shops or pretend to be hotel keepers. (I don’t know where these role-play themes came from, but I’m brilliant as both a hotelier and a shop-keeper, if I may be so bold as to blow my own proverbial trumpet. Never has a hotel manager been quite so thorough in their checking-in procedure and never has one been so quick-witted when it comes to accommodating odd requests. Cages for eighteen dragons? A room for a wizard who likes to sleep in the same bed as his brother and only wears socks to bed? I don’t even blink, me. I should have been a royal butler.)

So she’s getting bored at home, sometimes, and I think that school will be just the most exciting thing that’s ever happened. And if she’s excited then I am too. When I really think about the whole starting school situation, the part that makes me uncomfortable can be mostly written off as pure nostalgia and sentimentality – “my baby! Oh, my baby!” I can hear myself wail, in a parallel universe blog post that’s written after half a bottle of red wine. My Baby Leaves Me;  Is This The End Of The Era?; Why I’m Terrified Of Letting Her Go. All of those titles perfectly summarise how I’m feeling about the school days – I am terrified of the whole growing up, growing apart thing, and it is the end of the baby era – but those are my issues and I haven’t had the time to dwell on them, which I personally think is quite fortunate.

If Angelica had her own worries (we’ve talked about school a lot) then that would be a different matter and I would have devoted my energies towards making her happy and confident, but in truth (and this is slightly painful, in a “I’m not needed” kind of way) she’s absolutely raring to go. Tiny shoes and pinafore dress and all. The fact that the dress came with a matching grey scrunchie made her almost apoplectic with joy, even though she still doesn’t really have enough hair to put into one.

Both babies have baby hair. Actually, as I type this, they are downstairs being prepared for the visit to the hair salon – Angelica’s third visit, Ted’s first ever! Ted looks like a crazed old man who has been living on a mountain for eighty years, wispy mullet at the back and hair so long on top that he looks as though he’s trying to mimic a combover. Angelica’s hair is much more in-shape, but I thought it would be nice – and special – to have a day-before-school trim and style.

I did intend to make this a massively sentimental, gushing piece about how time flies and you have to appreciate each moment as it comes, but halfway through drafting out my (vaguely annoying) stream of consciousness I realised that I already appreciate each moment. It doesn’t stop time flying. And anyway, what a privilege for time to fly and to witness your child growing bigger and stronger. It’s a privilege denied to many and I thought for many years that it would never be my privilege, yet here I am, holding a pair of patent black shoes and showing a (just) four year old how to put a pinafore dress on without runkling up the shirt beneath. (Hand up the skirt, pull on the hem of the top – how long is it since you’ve had to do that manoeuvre?)

Then Ted starts nursery next week, just for a few hours, so that’s another milestone. No uniform, though, which is partly what tugs the old heart strings when it comes to the school thing, isn’t it? They suddenly look like miniature pretend adults.

I had loads of other things to tell you this month, but I think that the school-starting subject trumps all else, don’t you? I was going to tell you an entire short story about Ted and Angelica’s “sneaking” game, which basically consists of them really badly sneaking up on people and the people being sneaked upon having to pretend to be surprised. (See top photo.) I could write about Ted’s weird performance art dance moves that he’s started doing (he pulls abstract shapes and then holds them for seconds at a time, with a really serious look on his face) or I could tell you about Angelica’s new-found ability to do a forward roll, but school really overshadows any other development this month.

I’m being all blasé and flippant about it, I know, and I can guarantee you I’ll be the one uncontrollably sobbing at the gates tomorrow. I’ll update you. I mean I cry quite easily – it’s as though my tear ducts were connected the wrong way around or something – so tomorrow is bound to be a weep fest.

Weep Fest! Now that’s an idea for a lucrative summer event. £140 per weekend camping ticket, doesn’t matter if it rains because you’ll be depressed anyway. And soaked.

Does anyone else have school starters? How are you feeling? How are they feeling?

The post Life Update: Sobbing, Sneaking and The First Day At School appeared first on A Model Recommends.

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[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

Bats now, pitching later: Pianow's 2018 LABR draft

Two Boston bashers were early picks in a recent expert draft (AP)

I’ve been playing fantasy baseball since the late 1980s, and while I don’t mass-market my strategies or try to make them into cute branding acronyms, I’ve always had two primary maxims I bring to any draft or auction table:

— Get hitting first, figure out the pitching later

— Draft or auction day is about acquiring value; worry about balance later

I drafted this week in the 15-team LABR mixed draft (5×5 scoring, two catchers), and my results weren’t overly popular with some of the pundits and peanut galleries. That’s not a concern to me; I’m not trying to make picks that will gain me favor with others or attract attention. I wasn’t going to force early picks on pitching and I probably made a mistake not taking at least one horse at the front of my rotation, but it’s a long season. I have time to move the pieces around.

[Batter up: Join a Yahoo Fantasy Baseball league for free today]

A light-pitching strategy has been my regular companion in the Yahoo Friends & Family League over the years, with regular success. I did something similar in Tout Mixed last year and it was a mess, though that’s as much because my offense tanked as much as my pitching did. This strategy isn’t as executable in LABR mixed because FAAB is capped at $100 and there are no zero bids, and I don’t know the trading windows as well as I do in my Yahoo turf. But anytime Fred Zinkie is in the room, you know trades will be made (granted, Zinkie trades usually wind up winning for Zinkie; caveat emptor).

Here’s an explanation of who I picked and why I picked them. If you want the full draft board, it’s viewable here.

• Mookie Betts, OF, Red Sox (1.09, 9th overall): Just had the worst season he’ll probably ever have in his 20s and was still a four-category stud. Batting average littered with flukiness; he’s a career .292 hitter. Strong lineup, favorable park. With an outfielder in tow, I will now lean infielders, at least as a tiebreak, for a few rounds.

• Anthony Rizzo, 1B, Cubs (2.07, 22nd overall): The steals could dry up at any time and he might be closer to batting-average neutral, but like Betts this is a player in a favorable offense, around peak age. I would have strongly considered Carlos Correa and Francisco Lindor in this spot, they were both gone. And with five starting pitchers off the board, I wasn’t going to take an arm here.

• Anthony Rendon, 3B, Nationals (3.09, 39th overall): I didn’t pay attention to ADP prior to this draft — I don’t think we’re deep enough into draft season that it means much — but I probably took him a round early. Rendon is similar to my first two picks — a player in a strong lineup, in his prime years, who has a wide range of skills. Rendon is often mentioned as an injury risk, but he’s played 147 games or more in three of four seasons. (In retrospect, Jacob deGrom would have been a fine pick in this spot.)

• Jonathan Schoop, 2B, Orioles (4.07, 52nd overall): His 2017 breakout becomes a little less interesting when you consider the shape of baseball last year, but if Schoop winds up closer to the player he was in 2016, I still feel validated using an early pick on him. And like my first three picks, this is a player in his mid-20s, the sweet spot. (I came close to picking Justin Verlander here, but the “age 34” sign kept flashing and I backed off. Knowing what I know how, I take Verlander, secure an anchor.)

[2018 Fantasy Baseball rankings: Overall | H | P | C | 1B | 2B | 3B |SS | OF | SP | RP]

• Xander Bogaerts, SS, Red Sox (5.09, 69th overall): Playing hurt in the second half, his stats collapsed. But he’s just year removed from .294-115-21-89-13, and he’s buoyed by the same park and lineup that Betts is. Another player in his mid-20s. (Flying pitching continued to fly off the board and I didn’t consider Jose Quintana or Aaron Nola worthy of fifth-round picks, though I do like both of them. How do you make a profit that way?)

• Matt Carpenter, 1B, Cardinals (6.07, 82nd overall): I’ll admit I have a Carpenter problem, and I’m willing to write off last year’s mediocre season to injuries. But maybe he’s more injury prone than I care to accept. I think of the top four in the St. Louis lineup — Fowler, Pham, Carpenter, Ozuna — and I want a piece of it. Carpenter’s lovely position eligibility from last year doesn’t qualify now — you need 20 games in LABR, or five in-season — but maybe it will show up again. (Starting pitchers I passed up: Gerrit Cole, Dallas Keuchel — thought he might slip a little later — and Jake Arrieta, who’s moving in the wrong direction.)

• Adam Jones, OF, Orioles (7.09, 99th overall): After a couple of players coming off injury-dinged seasons, I balance out with a boring-but-durable veteran. No one is going to give you hipster cred when you pick this type of player, but many +EV fantasy moves are mundane in nature. (The only starting pitcher I missed in the 7-8 pocket is Michael Fulmer, who struck me as a major overdraft.)

• J.T. Realmuto, C, Marlins (8.07, 112th overall): He’s not insulated by a good lineup, though he could easily be traded at any point in the season. Two-catcher leagues are a pain in the neck when the league runs 15 teams, which is why I want some volume there. Another player parked into his prime, entering his age-27 season. I’d love it if he could steal 10-plus bases, but it’s hard to rely on that from a catcher.

• Mike Moustakas, 3B, Unsigned (9.09, 129th overall): It’s fun to dream of him in a favorable park, though the unexciting Royals loom as a logical return spot. I felt a strong gravitational pull to a pitcher, but look at who went after the Moose pick — Kyle Hendricks, Luke Weaver, David Price, not a sure thing in that mix. Moustakas is a rare power hitter who doesn’t strike out, and his pedigree long hinted that 2017’s breakout was possible. I’m focusing on best-bat-available here, not concerned with position overlap. I do need to address stolen bases at some point, though.

• Didi Gregorius, SS, Yankees (10.7, 142nd overall): Is it possible to be underrated and on a high-profile team like the Yankees? Gregorius makes a strong case. Another power-hitter who doesn’t strike out, and perhaps underrated in a room of SABR-leaning players because Gregorius doesn’t walk much. Entering his age-28 season — it’s not that young players can’t get hurt, but I love how young this roster is.

• Jay Bruce, OF, Mets (11.09, 159th overall pick): Much like the Jones pick, a boring veteran who is fairly easy to project. You can’t have enough power in today’s game. I am digging a hole in steals, though.

• Andrew Miller, RP, Indians (12.07, 172nd overall pick): I finally take a pitcher and it’s not a starter or a closer? Well, the sure-closer bets were dried up, and none of the starters were that enticing, and Miller at least gives me a first piece of building quality ratios. My likely starting staff is going to challenge those ratios, but maybe I can pair Miller with another ace reliever and treat that as a de-facto ace. Miller’s wins and saves were fairly light last year given that the Indians love to use him in high-leverage spots; I expect a modest bounce-back in that area, as unreliable as those stats can be.

• Michael Taylor, OF, Nationals (13.00, 189th overall pick): It’s hard to trust last year’s average given his free swinging, but he’s a power-speed option, his glove keeps him in the lineup, and this is another player tied to a strong supporting cast, even as he might slot near the bottom of the lineup. Entering his age-27 season.

• Julio Teheran, SP, Braves (14.07, 202nd overall pick): Maybe the new park spooked him, but he was excellent in 2014 and 2016 and useful in 2015. Still just 27. I know, he should be a middle-staff guy, not someone’s default No. 1. But the goal of a draft is to acquire value and not worry about balance. I have seven months to try to make this puzzle work.

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• Kevin Gausman, SP, Orioles (15.09, 219th overall pick): At this point, I’m just looking for plausible upside with my starting-pitcher dart throws. Maybe Gausman figured something out in the second half, when he had a 3.41 ERA and better than a strikeout per inning. Entering age-27 season.

• Avisail Garcia, OF, White Sox (16.07, 232nd overall pick): One of my favorite selections on the evening, a play that will commonly work in a room of smart people. Because very few SABR-leaning pundits will take Garcia’s 2017 breakout at face value, there’s a strong pull to make sure you’re not “the sucker” who pays for those stats. As a result, the fade often gets unreasonably strong, allowing someone to scoop up a tremendous bargain. Regression should never finish the conversation, it’s merely the start of the conversation. Garcia can give back a lot of last year and still make a profit for me. Entering age-27 season.

• Josh Harrison, 2B/3B, Pirates (17.09, 249th overall pick): Qualifies at two infield spots and maybe he’ll scoop up another in-season. A career .281 hitter with some pop and speed. The Pirates have become a somewhat-pedestrian roster as they move big names, which could screen some of their leftover values.

• Josh Hader, RP, Brewers (18.09, 262nd overall pick): It is often a mistake to go after last year’s non-closing heroes — the goal is often to find the next Hader or Chad Green or Chris Devenski, not chase last year’s emergence. But you see Hader’s 12.8 K/9 and electric stuff and it’s easy to fall in love. I am not sold on Corey Knebel as a closer, either, and the Brewers fancy themselves contenders — they probably won’t give Knebel an extended leash. But even if Hader never gets close to the ninth, I expect him to massage the ratios.

• Brad Ziegler, RP, Marlins (19.07, 279th overall pick): I can’t defend him as a ratios pick, but Ziggy might play the ninth in Miami — he’s the current favorite — and that has some value.

• Chris Iannetta, C, Rockies (20.07, 292nd overall pick): His contract suggests Colorado brought him back to be the primary starter. It often takes catchers a while to mature as offensive players; Iannetta climbed a level last year.

• Tanner Roark, SP, Nationals (21.09, 309th overall pick): As fluky as wins seem to be, I’ll take my chances on the teams expected to win 90-plus ballgames. And the NL East could be easy pickings, especially with Miami bottoming out. Like Teheran, Roark was excellent in 2014 and 2016. The floor is not sturdy here, but there’s enough upside to take a stab.

• Jake Odorizzi, SP, Rays (22.07, 322nd overall pick): Hasn’t been the most durable guy, but a career 3.83/1.22 pitcher this late makes sense. Obviously I want him to stick in the womb of Tampa Bay, all those cushy home starts, and maybe I’ll steer him from some of the jagged road assignments.

• Joakim Soria, RP, White Sox (23.09, 339th overall pick): One of the main contenders for the ninth inning in Chicago.

• Carl Edwards, RP, Cubs (24.07, 352nd overall pick): I’m not going to assume Brandon Morrow has a smooth takeoff as the Chicago closer. Edwards has the strikeout stuff to close; if he can improve the control, this could be a special pitcher. And if he winds up being a non-closing reliever, at least he’s on a winning team, leading to more potential collateral benefits.

• Raul Mondesi, 2B, Royals (25.09, 369th pick): He hasn’t hit in Kansas City, though it’s been a tiny sample. It’s too early (and convenient; heck, lazy) to conclude we know who he’ll be. Slashed .305/.340/.539 in Triple-A, with 13 homers and 21 steals over 85 games. This late, all you want is some plausible upside.

• Dustin Pedroia, 2B, Red Sox (26.07, 382nd pick): Category juice might be out the window, but always hits for a plus average. Obviously ticketed for the DL to start, which might be a feature, not a bug, this late in the draft — one free dip into the replacement pool.

[Salfino and Pianowski review the Mixed LABR draft on the Breakfast Table Podcast]

• Matt Shoemaker, SP, Angels (27.09, 399th pick): Health obviously a problem through his career, but when the splitter is right, the strikeout upside is appealing. A lottery ticket.

• Steve Cishek, RP, Cubs (28.09, 412nd pick): Another bet against Brandon Morrow in Chicago. Quietly got back on track in Tampa Bay last year (2.14/0.81), for whatever 24.2 innings means to you.

• Cameron Maybin, OF, Free Agent (29.7, 429th overall pick): Maybe he’ll sign with a club that needs to play him. Has some steals upside. Will be easy to cut in March or April if it doesn’t come together.

— Team Strengths: All the non-steal offensive categories, offensive depth, age, no weak field positions.

— Team Weaknesses: Everything related to pitching (Steve Gardner, unfortunately, won’t allow this to be a 5×0 league).

— What I need to do: Explore the pitcher market, and try to be early and proactive to possible breakouts. And not listen to the noise, especially from those not in the arena.

More baseball draft prep from Yahoo Fantasy Sports

[cover32-yahoopartner-blog]

Patriots Week Ahead: Bye-Bye, Bye; Hello Mile High

For the 2017 New England Patriots, eight games are in the books; with eight games remaining. At 6-2, a place in the NFL playoffs is a reasonable expectation. However, the Pats have never been a team to look too far ahead. They take it one game at a time. If you don’t believe them, simply ask their coach. (Good luck with that.)

On Sunday, the Patriots travel west to take on a familiar nemesis, the Denver Broncos. The Broncos enter this contest sporting a surprising 3-5 record, and still smarting from a 51-23 drubbing at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles. However, do not let their record fool you. There is plenty of ‘buck’ left in these Broncos, especially on the defensive side of the ball. The Patriots will be hard at work preparing for an always difficult adversary. After all, the Broncos are not the only team in this pairing that is seeking improvement.

Without further ado, let’s take a look at the week ahead for your New England Patriots.

The ‘Bye’ Week

While the Patriots had the week off from game action, this was certainly not an off-week for the coaching staff or the front office. On Monday, October 30, the Patriots traded quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo, to the San Francisco 49ers for a second-round choice in the 2018 NFL draft. Only two days later, on November 1, they welcomed back Brian Hoyer, who signed a three-year contract to become the backup to starter Tom Brady.

With no disrespect to Hoyer, who has proven to be a serviceable backup in the NFL, the Patriots seem reticent to bid a less-than-fond farewell to an ideal quarterback situation by trading Garoppolo. Jimmy G was thought, by many, to be Brady’s heir-apparent. His quick release and sound decision-making made him the ideal Belichickian-disciple. This is a point that apparently was not lost on the head coach, himself.

Describing it as “some form of decision that has been looming for the last couple of years,” Belichick made it clear that the team had exhausted all opportunities to keep Garoppolo.

“It’s definitely not something we wanted to walk away from,” he said. “I felt like we rode it out as long as we could. Over a period of time, we explored every option possible to try to sustain it. But at this point, felt like we had to make a decision.”

In a rare display of praise for one of his own active players, Belichick praised Garoppolo’s accomplishments and wished him well, in the process.

“I have a tremendous amount of respect for Jimmy. I couldn’t ask for him to give us any more than he has given us. The 49ers are getting a good player, they are getting a good person, and they’re getting a great teammate, and they are getting a good quarterback. And Jimmy is getting a good coach. His career is moving forward. He’s a talented individual. He was a great person to coach. I met with him weekly. But as his career moves forward, we have to look at our team, both this year and beyond.”

Sep 18, 2016; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo (10) at the line of scrimmage against the Miami Dolphins in the second quarter at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

Luckily for the Patriots, they still have Tom Brady under center, and Bill Belichick on the sidelines. As long as that tandem is in place, contention for a title is almost a given in Foxboro…even if life beyond Brady is now a bit less certain.

A Time to Heal?

As Peter Cetera and Chicago once sang, “everybody needs a little time away.” This could not be more appropriate for the Patriots walking wounded. The ‘bye week’ came at the perfect time for those who are nursing injuries. Among those that surely welcomed the opportunity to rest are OL Nate Solder, OL Marcus Cannon, CB Stephon Gilmore, CB Eric Rowe and DL Malcolm Brown.

However, the injury that is creating the most anxiety in Patriots Nation would be that which was suffered by receiver Chris Hogan. According to Ian Rapoport of the NFL Media, Hogan does not need surgery on his shoulder, which he injured on October 29 against the Los Angeles Chargers.

With that said, Hogan is expected to miss a few weeks while he rests and rehabs. Rapoport notes that the team may possibly reevaluate his status this week.

The Patriots are not simply relying on healing injuries to cure what has been a sub-par defense in the first half of the season. They are making adjustments to game-planning, as well as roster additions.

On Tuesday, the Pats signed veteran defensive lineman Ricky Jean-Francois. Jean-Francois, who was recently released by the Green Bay Packers, has recorded 166 tackles and 12 sacks in 115 career games. He should provide a veteran presence among the Patriots front seven, which has allowed 5.1 rushing years per attempt.

The new faces and (hopefully) refreshed bodies of the existing Pats will be a welcome sight in Foxboro this week. as we are about to see, the challenge that awaits might be more than meets the eye.

Rocky Mountain High or Low?

Over the last few years, the Broncos and Patriots have had their fair share of battles. the memories of such battles have not always been happy memories for Patriots fans. If Tom Brady has been the NFL’s Superman, then Sports Authority Field at Mile High might just be his Kryptonite. Brady is 6-6 against the Broncos in the regular season and 1-3 against Denver in the postseason. The Broncos are the only team against which Brady has a losing record, and he has struggled in the Denver air of Mile High.

Despite the history, the Patriots are coming in at seven point favorites. Brady’s ability to pick apart the Denver defense is a key reason for that. The Denver pass rush (led by Von Miller) as well as their run defense, are still as stout as ever. However, the Broncos pass defense has been beatable. Ever the opportunist, expect Brady to take advantage of that.

Broncos head coach, Vance Joseph, has announced that the team will start quarterback Brock Osweiler on Sunday night. While Osweiler does have a home victory against the Pats on his resume, last week’s poor showing against the Eagles seems to indicate that it will once again be difficult for the Broncos to score. Although the Patriots defense hasn’t quite lived up to expectation, it has (as of late) improved. The absence of linebacker Dont’a Hightower will be felt, especially on the road. As they did against the Chargers, looks for linemen Kyle Van Noy and David Harris to be the anchors on the Pats front seven. If New England can force multiple turnovers, then the Patriots should be able to dictate the pace of the game and leave with a victory.

Despite being heavily favored, the hype will not go to New England’s head. They know, all too well, the struggles that a defense like Denver’s can create. Their coach won’t let them forget. Their quarterback won’t let them forget. There is a job to be done. Denver is the venue. It’s the second half of the season. It’s time to put it all together.

-Mike D’Abate is the Managing Editor for cover32.com/Chargers and covers the Los Angeles Chargers and New England Patriots. He is also a National Content Writer and covers the NFL for cover32.com. Follow @MG973024 Follow @cover32_LAC

AROUND COVER32

What does Sunday’s win mean for the Colts?

How close is Jared Goff to being ‘Elite’?

Bill Belichick is closing in on another coaching milestone

Titans barely escape the Ravens

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Writer’s Blocks: Charting Dez’s Season, Zeke’s Attitude, CB Depth & More

FRISCO, Texas – It’s not often you’re presented with such wildly different ideas of what a team might be.

That’s the main conclusion I keep coming to after watching two Cowboys games this season. It’s normal to see teams win and lose games, given the parity in the NFL. The Cowboys are 1-1, which means they’re exactly like 12 other teams in the NFL right now.

What’s wild is the way we got here. This team has a lopsided, dominant victory under its belt, against a team that made the 2016 playoffs, for that matter. It also got utterly thrashed by a team that didn’t make the postseason last year — though I think we can all agree Denver has been one of this league’s better teams for quite a while now.

It reminds me a little bit of the beginning of the 2014 season, when the Cowboys were utterly demolished by a San Francisco team that made the NFC Championship Game the year before. They bounced back the next with week a dominant, 26-10 win on the road, but it’s not a perfect comparison because it did come against a Tennessee Titans team lacking in the talent department.

In the 16-game grind of the NFL schedule, it’s normal not to know a team’s identity in September. I don’t think we’re going to have a good grasp of what the Cowboys are for at least another month or so. But it is definitely off-putting to see such completely opposite performances at the outset of the season.

As is usually the case, the reality of the situation will likely fall somewhere in between.

1. My favorite thing about writing a column on Thursday is that it actually gives me time to look around and inform myself. I hate firing off hot takes I’m not 100 percent sure about, and I refuse to do it. Because of that, I’ll often set out to write one thing and wind up doing the exact opposite, thanks to the benefit of added information.

Case in point: it’s confusing and alarming that Dez Bryant has 25 targets through two games, yet has just seven catches for 102 yards to show for it. It reads on the stat sheet like Dak Prescott is forcing plays to his star wide out, which is something he’s said he wouldn’t do.

Here’s a quote from this time last year: “I know some people kind of threaten and you’ve got to try to get some of your playmakers the ball, but then you get away from your offense,” Prescott said. “You get away from things that you normally do when you do that. So I think it’s important for us to just make sure that we keep running our offense.”

So, with all of this swirling in my head, I sat down and watched Bryant’s 25 targets from the first two weeks. Call me an apologist if you want to, but it’s honestly not as bad as it looks on paper.

Against the Giants, Dez was targeted nine times. One of those was a seven route to the sideline that had no chance to be completed, and another was batted down at the line by Damon Harrison.

So now we’re talking about seven targets. Of those seven targets, it breaks down as such:

— A fade from the 3-yard line that came inches from being completed for a touchdown. — A slant across the end zone that was likely a touchdown, if not thrown too high by Prescott. — A crossing route through the end zone, again thrown high by a hurried Prescott. — A slant for an eight-yard gain — A “go” route from the slot, tightly contested by Janoris Jenkins and ultimately incomplete inside the 10-yard line. — A post, in which he broke Jenkins’ tackle and gained 35 yards. — Another “go” route, again tightly contested by Jenkins, broken up in the end zone.

On top of that, Bryant drew a 21-yard defensive pass interference call that helped Dallas to a field goal. It’s not exactly the stat line you want from your All-Pro receiver, but it certainly isn’t horrific, either.

2. Bryant’s outing against Denver turned into two completely different scenarios, which you might expect given the score.

Having charted all 16 of his targets from last Sunday, I found something somewhat surprising. In the first half and the early going of the second half, when the score was still manageable, Bryant was targeted just six times. He caught four of those targets for 34 yards and a touchdown. Of the two that he didn’t catch, the first was a ball that sailed over his head, out of bounds, while the second was thrown short and behind him.

The afternoon turned on what was obviously Bryant’s worst play of the season – a ball he should have caught but didn’t, which then turned into a Denver interception and an ensuing touchdown. That sequence made the game 28-10, at which point all bets were off.

With the Broncos holding an 18-point lead and boasting a ferocious pass rush. The rest of the day was miserable for both Dak and Dez. The duo tried to connect on nine more occasions on the day, as the Cowboys tried to throw their way back into the game, and they completed just two of those for 11 yards.

I guess my point is that stats can lie. Obviously, Dez’s performance through two weeks isn’t great. That goes for the rest of the offense, as a matter of fact. But I don’t think it’s as awful as we might have initially thought.  

3. Having said that, I don’t think it’s going to get any easier on Monday night, because Dez is almost assuredly going to have to battle Patrick Peterson for the duration of this Week 3 game against Arizona.

For my money, Peterson is the best cornerback in football, given his versatility across several playing styles, his athleticism, his physicality and his ability to shadow an opponent’s best receiver all over the field.

What concerns me more than the number of targets Dez is getting, is the fact that he and Prescott just don’t seem to be on the same page as of yet. The missed touchdown in Week 1 is an obvious note. But in Denver, there were three big occasions where they seemed to misfire. The first two were near-interceptions by Aqib Talib, if not for Bryant playing some solid defense. The third turned out to be the pick-six at the tail end of the game.

Give credit to Talib. He’s an excellent cornerback in his own right. But improved communication and accuracy could fix some of those problems. That’s something to be mindful of if you’re going against an All-Pro corner.

4. On Nov. 21, 2015, Michigan State beat Ohio State at the buzzer of a Big Ten game with national title implications. It was the first loss in 24 games for a loaded Buckeye team, and its first loss since claiming the national championship the year before.

Following the game, a despondent Ezekiel Elliott lamented the way Ohio State’s coaches called the game.

“What happened today, it was kind of like a bad, bad dream. Offense had a rough day, and I’m disappointed,” Elliott said at the time. “I’m disappointed in the play calling, I’m disappointed in the situations we were put in, and I wish it all played out differently.”

Those comments became national headlines and became a topic of debate for days, if not weeks.

And all of that stemmed from a game in which Elliott, Ohio State’s workhorse running back, carried the ball 12 times for 33 yards and a touchdown.

So now, put all of that in context. Up to this point in his decorated career, Ezekiel Elliott’s worst-ever game as a starter saw him carry the ball for 33 yards in a touchdown. Now consider that on Sunday, Elliott carried the ball nine times for eight yards and caught four passes for 14 yards.

The guy who carried Ohio State to a national title and rushed for 1,615 yards in his first NFL season accounted for 47 all-purpose yards in what is probably the most lopsided loss of his career.

At the end of the day, it’s still an excuse. But I can appreciate that Elliott was incredibly frustrated on Sunday, and thus didn’t exactly want to sprint after an interception that happened right in front of him.

No, it’s not a good look, and yes it’s something the coaches will talk to him about. But I’m not going to kill the guy for succumbing to human nature.

5. I’ve pounded on this drum a few times since the draft, and I’m just going to touch on it right now. It feels fitting in the wake of such a poor performance in Denver.

I know he’s only a rookie, and I know he missed the majority of the preseason. But I sure would like to see if Ryan Switzer is capable of bringing a new element to this offense.

I don’t want to suggest that Lucky Whitehead was an elite playmaker, but it’s fair to say that the misdirection he brought to this offense with his fly sweeps was worthwhile. Even when he wasn’t getting the ball, he was giving defenders a reason to hesitate.

As quick as he is, I’ve got to believe Switzer is capable of doing something like that. I also think he can help you combat a talented secondary like Denver’s, since putting him on the field with Dez Bryant, Terrance Williams and Cole Beasley would create a favorable matchup at least somewhere.

Of course, it’s not as simple as I make it sound. In that scenario, you have to take someone off the field – either reigning rushing champion Ezekiel Elliott, or future Hall of Famer Jason Witten. This Cowboys offense has a lot of weapons, and not a lot of touches to go around.

Still, it’s something I’d be interested to see at some point.

6. I have to admit that I’m a bit of a hypocrite here. Just like the rest of the world, I play fantasy football. I’m in a league with my buddies from home, and I’m devastated about how mediocre my team is.

That said, I can’t be the only one that gets so tired of having fantasy football injected into every NFL conversation I have these days. I’m so unbelievably exhausted by everyone fretting over whether someone will play, and I’m grossed out by people who root for players over teams.

So I was super stoked when Detroit wide receiver Golden Tate called out a fan for whining about fantasy stats in the wake of a big win.

Dear Jameson,

This is the real world, & the @lions won. That's all that matters. Have a great night.

Sincerely,

Golden https://t.co/H80MbInHKY

— Golden Tate (@ShowtimeTate) September 19, 2017

Like I said, I play fantasy. I know there’s a lot of pride, and often a lot of money at stake. But, I dunno. Can we just enjoy actual football a little bit more and care about fantasy a little less?

7. It sounds like Orlando Scandrick is going to be available to play Monday against the Cardinals. By the time kickoff rolls around, it will have been two weeks since he had surgery on his hand, and he has said he’s going to practice this week.

Cowboys officials expressed optimism earlier in the week that Chidobe Awuzie would be able to practice after hurting his hamstring last Sunday, but he was not active in Thursday’s practice.

It’s hard to predict to a certainty, but it looks to me like the Cowboys are only going to have four fully healthy cornerbacks on Monday night – Scandrick, Anthony Brown, Jourdan Lewis and Bene’ Benwikere.

Benwikere is the lone guy in that group who hasn’t gotten into the fray yet. The Cowboys traded for him during final roster cuts, so he has been here for roughly three weeks – but he has yet to participate in a game. There’s some roster finagling that goes into that. The front office traded a conditional draft pick for him, and they only have to part with the pick if he’s active for a certain number of occasions.

I get that you’d prefer to hold on to your draft pick, but the health of this secondary hardly inspires confidence right now. I think it’s probably time Mr. Benwikere gets his shot.

8. Many, many years ago, I remember watching a segment on the Food Network about something called a Sonoran hot dog. It’s basically a bacon-wrapped hot dog, covered in all kinds of condiments – pico de gallo, avocado, mayonnaise, mustard, onions, you name it – and stuffed into a bun that’s much larger than your average hot dog bun.

It looked like the most amazing thing I had ever laid eyes on, and I was absolutely devastated when I found out that it’s an item you can typically only find in the Southwest. Even here in Texas, I haven’t had a whole lot of luck finding places that specialize in this delicacy.

So, that’s priority No. 1 when I get to Phoenix on Sunday. Monday Night Football against the Cardinals sounds fun, don’t get me wrong. But I’m going to find a Sonoran hot dog, one way or the other.

Read

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Writer’s Blocks: Charting Dez’s Season, Zeke’s Attitude, CB Depth & More

FRISCO, Texas – It’s not often you’re presented with such wildly different ideas of what a team might be.

That’s the main conclusion I keep coming to after watching two Cowboys games this season. It’s normal to see teams win and lose games, given the parity in the NFL. The Cowboys are 1-1, which means they’re exactly like 12 other teams in the NFL right now.

What’s wild is the way we got here. This team has a lopsided, dominant victory under its belt, against a team that made the 2016 playoffs, for that matter. It also got utterly thrashed by a team that didn’t make the postseason last year — though I think we can all agree Denver has been one of this league’s better teams for quite a while now.

It reminds me a little bit of the beginning of the 2014 season, when the Cowboys were utterly demolished by a San Francisco team that made the NFC Championship Game the year before. They bounced back the next with week a dominant, 26-10 win on the road, but it’s not a perfect comparison because it did come against a Tennessee Titans team lacking in the talent department.

In the 16-game grind of the NFL schedule, it’s normal not to know a team’s identity in September. I don’t think we’re going to have a good grasp of what the Cowboys are for at least another month or so. But it is definitely off-putting to see such completely opposite performances at the outset of the season.

As is usually the case, the reality of the situation will likely fall somewhere in between.

1. My favorite thing about writing a column on Thursday is that it actually gives me time to look around and inform myself. I hate firing off hot takes I’m not 100 percent sure about, and I refuse to do it. Because of that, I’ll often set out to write one thing and wind up doing the exact opposite, thanks to the benefit of added information.

Case in point: it’s confusing and alarming that Dez Bryant has 25 targets through two games, yet has just seven catches for 102 yards to show for it. It reads on the stat sheet like Dak Prescott is forcing plays to his star wide out, which is something he’s said he wouldn’t do.

Here’s a quote from this time last year: “I know some people kind of threaten and you’ve got to try to get some of your playmakers the ball, but then you get away from your offense,” Prescott said. “You get away from things that you normally do when you do that. So I think it’s important for us to just make sure that we keep running our offense.”

So, with all of this swirling in my head, I sat down and watched Bryant’s 25 targets from the first two weeks. Call me an apologist if you want to, but it’s honestly not as bad as it looks on paper.

Against the Giants, Dez was targeted nine times. One of those was a seven route to the sideline that had no chance to be completed, and another was batted down at the line by Damon Harrison.

So now we’re talking about seven targets. Of those seven targets, it breaks down as such:

— A fade from the 3-yard line that came inches from being completed for a touchdown. — A slant across the end zone that was likely a touchdown, if not thrown too high by Prescott. — A crossing route through the end zone, again thrown high by a hurried Prescott. — A slant for an eight-yard gain — A “go” route from the slot, tightly contested by Janoris Jenkins and ultimately incomplete inside the 10-yard line. — A post, in which he broke Jenkins’ tackle and gained 35 yards. — Another “go” route, again tightly contested by Jenkins, broken up in the end zone.

On top of that, Bryant drew a 21-yard defensive pass interference call that helped Dallas to a field goal. It’s not exactly the stat line you want from your All-Pro receiver, but it certainly isn’t horrific, either.

2. Bryant’s outing against Denver turned into two completely different scenarios, which you might expect given the score.

Having charted all 16 of his targets from last Sunday, I found something somewhat surprising. In the first half and the early going of the second half, when the score was still manageable, Bryant was targeted just six times. He caught four of those targets for 34 yards and a touchdown. Of the two that he didn’t catch, the first was a ball that sailed over his head, out of bounds, while the second was thrown short and behind him.

The afternoon turned on what was obviously Bryant’s worst play of the season – a ball he should have caught but didn’t, which then turned into a Denver interception and an ensuing touchdown. That sequence made the game 28-10, at which point all bets were off.

With the Broncos holding an 18-point lead and boasting a ferocious pass rush. The rest of the day was miserable for both Dak and Dez. The duo tried to connect on nine more occasions on the day, as the Cowboys tried to throw their way back into the game, and they completed just two of those for 11 yards.

I guess my point is that stats can lie. Obviously, Dez’s performance through two weeks isn’t great. That goes for the rest of the offense, as a matter of fact. But I don’t think it’s as awful as we might have initially thought.  

3. Having said that, I don’t think it’s going to get any easier on Monday night, because Dez is almost assuredly going to have to battle Patrick Peterson for the duration of this Week 3 game against Arizona.

For my money, Peterson is the best cornerback in football, given his versatility across several playing styles, his athleticism, his physicality and his ability to shadow an opponent’s best receiver all over the field.

What concerns me more than the number of targets Dez is getting, is the fact that he and Prescott just don’t seem to be on the same page as of yet. The missed touchdown in Week 1 is an obvious note. But in Denver, there were three big occasions where they seemed to misfire. The first two were near-interceptions by Aqib Talib, if not for Bryant playing some solid defense. The third turned out to be the pick-six at the tail end of the game.

Give credit to Talib. He’s an excellent cornerback in his own right. But improved communication and accuracy could fix some of those problems. That’s something to be mindful of if you’re going against an All-Pro corner.

4. On Nov. 21, 2015, Michigan State beat Ohio State at the buzzer of a Big Ten game with national title implications. It was the first loss in 24 games for a loaded Buckeye team, and its first loss since claiming the national championship the year before.

Following the game, a despondent Ezekiel Elliott lamented the way Ohio State’s coaches called the game.

“What happened today, it was kind of like a bad, bad dream. Offense had a rough day, and I’m disappointed,” Elliott said at the time. “I’m disappointed in the play calling, I’m disappointed in the situations we were put in, and I wish it all played out differently.”

Those comments became national headlines and became a topic of debate for days, if not weeks.

And all of that stemmed from a game in which Elliott, Ohio State’s workhorse running back, carried the ball 12 times for 33 yards and a touchdown.

So now, put all of that in context. Up to this point in his decorated career, Ezekiel Elliott’s worst-ever game as a starter saw him carry the ball for 33 yards in a touchdown. Now consider that on Sunday, Elliott carried the ball nine times for eight yards and caught four passes for 14 yards.

The guy who carried Ohio State to a national title and rushed for 1,615 yards in his first NFL season accounted for 47 all-purpose yards in what is probably the most lopsided loss of his career.

At the end of the day, it’s still an excuse. But I can appreciate that Elliott was incredibly frustrated on Sunday, and thus didn’t exactly want to sprint after an interception that happened right in front of him.

No, it’s not a good look, and yes it’s something the coaches will talk to him about. But I’m not going to kill the guy for succumbing to human nature.

5. I’ve pounded on this drum a few times since the draft, and I’m just going to touch on it right now. It feels fitting in the wake of such a poor performance in Denver.

I know he’s only a rookie, and I know he missed the majority of the preseason. But I sure would like to see if Ryan Switzer is capable of bringing a new element to this offense.

I don’t want to suggest that Lucky Whitehead was an elite playmaker, but it’s fair to say that the misdirection he brought to this offense with his fly sweeps was worthwhile. Even when he wasn’t getting the ball, he was giving defenders a reason to hesitate.

As quick as he is, I’ve got to believe Switzer is capable of doing something like that. I also think he can help you combat a talented secondary like Denver’s, since putting him on the field with Dez Bryant, Terrance Williams and Cole Beasley would create a favorable matchup at least somewhere.

Of course, it’s not as simple as I make it sound. In that scenario, you have to take someone off the field – either reigning rushing champion Ezekiel Elliott, or future Hall of Famer Jason Witten. This Cowboys offense has a lot of weapons, and not a lot of touches to go around.

Still, it’s something I’d be interested to see at some point.

6. I have to admit that I’m a bit of a hypocrite here. Just like the rest of the world, I play fantasy football. I’m in a league with my buddies from home, and I’m devastated about how mediocre my team is.

That said, I can’t be the only one that gets so tired of having fantasy football injected into every NFL conversation I have these days. I’m so unbelievably exhausted by everyone fretting over whether someone will play, and I’m grossed out by people who root for players over teams.

So I was super stoked when Detroit wide receiver Golden Tate called out a fan for whining about fantasy stats in the wake of a big win.

Dear Jameson,

This is the real world, & the @lions won. That’s all that matters. Have a great night.

Sincerely,

Golden https://t.co/H80MbInHKY

— Golden Tate (@ShowtimeTate) September 19, 2017

Like I said, I play fantasy. I know there’s a lot of pride, and often a lot of money at stake. But, I dunno. Can we just enjoy actual football a little bit more and care about fantasy a little less?

7. It sounds like Orlando Scandrick is going to be available to play Monday against the Cardinals. By the time kickoff rolls around, it will have been two weeks since he had surgery on his hand, and he has said he’s going to practice this week.

Cowboys officials expressed optimism earlier in the week that Chidobe Awuzie would be able to practice after hurting his hamstring last Sunday, but he was not active in Thursday’s practice.

It’s hard to predict to a certainty, but it looks to me like the Cowboys are only going to have four fully healthy cornerbacks on Monday night – Scandrick, Anthony Brown, Jourdan Lewis and Bene’ Benwikere.

Benwikere is the lone guy in that group who hasn’t gotten into the fray yet. The Cowboys traded for him during final roster cuts, so he has been here for roughly three weeks – but he has yet to participate in a game. There’s some roster finagling that goes into that. The front office traded a conditional draft pick for him, and they only have to part with the pick if he’s active for a certain number of occasions.

I get that you’d prefer to hold on to your draft pick, but the health of this secondary hardly inspires confidence right now. I think it’s probably time Mr. Benwikere gets his shot.

8. Many, many years ago, I remember watching a segment on the Food Network about something called a Sonoran hot dog. It’s basically a bacon-wrapped hot dog, covered in all kinds of condiments – pico de gallo, avocado, mayonnaise, mustard, onions, you name it – and stuffed into a bun that’s much larger than your average hot dog bun.

It looked like the most amazing thing I had ever laid eyes on, and I was absolutely devastated when I found out that it’s an item you can typically only find in the Southwest. Even here in Texas, I haven’t had a whole lot of luck finding places that specialize in this delicacy.

So, that’s priority No. 1 when I get to Phoenix on Sunday. Monday Night Football against the Cardinals sounds fun, don’t get me wrong. But I’m going to find a Sonoran hot dog, one way or the other.

Read

The post Writer’s Blocks: Charting Dez’s Season, Zeke’s Attitude, CB Depth & More appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

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Juggernaut Index, No. 6: Brady leads unstoppable attack, but Pats backfield a mess

Tom Brady, fantasy (and reality) legend. (AP Photo/Winslow Townson)

Few athletes in any sport have delivered decade-long periods of dominance like the one Tom Brady produced from 2007 to 2016. It borders on total mastery of craft. Over the past 10 NFL seasons, Brady’s passer-rating was 102.5. He averaged 7.8 yards per attempt. Six percent of his throws resulted in touchdowns. He’s had the lowest interception rate in the league in four of the past eight seasons, including the last two. He’s led his team to seven conference title games and four Super Bowls in 10 years. Since 2007, his regular season record as a starter is 113-28-0.

Brady’s absolute ownership of the NFL can’t really be denied, even by those who view his franchise as a sort of roving Death Star. We’re under no obligation to like the Patriots, but facts are facts. Brady has been almost impossibly good.

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Just look at some of the key stats he produced to bookend his ridiculous 10-year run:

2007 – 300.4 YPG, 68.9 cmp%, 8.3 Y/A, 8.7 TD%, 1.4 INT%, 16-0 record 2016 – 296.2 YPG, 67.4 cmp%, 8.2 Y/A, 6.5 TD%, 0.5 INT%, 11-1 record

Absurd. Brady’s supporting cast has changed, but the numbers have not. He turned 40 in August, yet there have been no signs whatsoever of a decline in performance.

We can feel certain that a decline is coming at some point, of course. The full list of QBs who’ve produced quality seasons after 40 is basically just Brett Favre (2009) and Warren Moon (1997). There is no precedent for a quarterback playing well in the NFL for any significant, sustained period of time beyond age 41.

But Brady is an all-time talent with a legendary dedication to task, and a much-publicized, well-branded nutrition/training/lifestyle plan. There’s no arguing with his results. It would be madness to bet against him, at least for the next season or two. You shouldn’t need an expert to tell you that he needs to be among the top three quarterbacks selected in any fantasy draft, regardless of format.

Brady’s receiving corps took a hit when Julian Edelman (ACL) was lost for the season, but the Pats clearly have the talent and depth — and the otherworldly quarterback — to manage around the injury.

Where do all those Edelman targets go?

First of all, we need to reinforce the fact that these are not just any targets. We’re talking about 9-10 targets per week from one of the most efficient, productive passers in NFL history. If any single player were in line to receive them all, that guy would vault into must-start territory.

Unfortunately, it’s probably not going to be quite that tidy. We should expect Edelman’s 150-160 targets to be distributed broadly and unevenly, boosting the value of several players to varying degrees without creating an every-week star. Sorry. Rob Gronkowski, already the consensus No. 1 TE, jumped a few spots in my overall ranks to No. 15. Gronk was limited to a half-season in 2016, as he underwent another back surgery, but he was plenty valuable when he played. He’s healthy at the moment and reportedly living clean (or clean-ish).

Gronk only caught 25 balls last season on 38 targets, but it’s worth noting that he averaged by far the highest yards-per-catch of his career (21.6). His average depth of target was over 15 yards, so, in a small sample, he was used in a fundamentally different way. I’m not quite on board with Hribar’s prediction that Gronk will lead the league in receiving yards, but I appreciate the process behind the bold call. Gronkowski obviously didn’t need a bump in targets to cement his spot as our game’s top tight end; draft him anywhere in Round 2, with a mix of hope and dread.

Brandin Cooks, acquired in the offseason via trade, previously figured to see 110-120 targets for New England, and that total jumps a bit on the Edelman news. Cooks is still a burner, a versatile receiver who can line up anywhere, running vertical routes and quick-hitters. He’s an unsolvable problem for opposing defenses within the context of this team’s offense, with Gronk on the field and a dangerous ground game behind Brady. No one should be surprised if Cooks finishes the season as a solid WR1 in PPR formats. His red-zone role is less certain, although Edelman actually led this team in targets inside the 10-yard line last season (9). Like Gronkowski, Cooks is a bankable second rounder.

Chris Hogan should have been on your fantasy radar a month ago, but his ADP has spiked over the past week. He too can line up all over the formation, and he’s a dangerous weapon on every route. Salfino gave you all the Hogan hype you should need a few days ago, and I’m basically on board. He was deadly from the slot. (Hogan, not Salfino.) Hogan should be the greatest beneficiary of the forthcoming target redistribution; we need to begin treating him as a top-30 fantasy receiver. It helps that he’s had a full season in the offense.

Danny Amendola has a clear path to 60-plus targets as well, which gives him a certain appeal in deeper formats. It’s tough to consider him a must-own, but he wasn’t even in the fantasy conversation two weeks ago. Today, he’s among the most added players in Yahoo leagues. Brady has made it clear he has a high level of confidence in Amendola, not that he would publicly say anything else.

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New England’s receiving corps is plenty deep beyond the marquee names, with tight end Dwayne Allen added to the mix and Malcolm Mitchell entering his second season. Un-drafted Northwestern rookie Austin Carr exactly the sort of player who could eventually pop for this team, too.

OK, the backfield. Gillislee, Burkhead, Lewis or other?

LeGarrette Blount produced a monster fantasy season for the Pats in 2016 despite averaging just 3.9 YPC. He converted his 299 carries into a league-leading 18 rushing scores, thanks to a massive workload near the goal line. His 71 red-zone carries led all backs by a wide margin; David Johnson was second with 58. Blount also comfortably led the NFL in carries inside both the 10 and 5-yard lines (42, 29). Even an inefficient runner like him couldn’t screw up that workload, not in this offense. And now, of course, he’s gone.

If any single back in New England seemed likely to claim Blount’s full rushing workload, that guy would obviously be an early first-round fantasy selection. But no such player exists. Instead, we’re confronted with one of the league’s murkiest backfield depth charts, a spin-the-wheel situation in which we feel compelled to invest, even though four different players could receive 90-110 touches each. (The lack of a clear featured runner is the primary reason, in fact, that this elite offense isn’t a top-three team in these meaningless fantasy power rankings.) Let’s meet our contestants, arranged in the order in which I prioritize them…

Rex Burkhead makes a preseason house call. (AP Photo/Eric Christian Smith)

Rex Burkhead, ADP 124.3 – Burkhead is the cheapest of the four New England options, and he’s had the cleanest and most encouraging summer on the field. The highlight of his preseason was this 22-yard score.

Burkhead was buried on the depth chart in Cincinnati over the past four years, but he did well with limited late-season opportunities in 2016, averaging 4.6 YPC on 74 attempts and catching 17 balls for 145 yards. He doesn’t have great straight-line speed, but he has plenty of lateral quickness and athleticism — he was a beast at the combine back in the day (39-inch vertical, 6.85-second three-cone). Burkhead is a capable receiver and, at 5-foot-10 and 210 pounds, he appears built to handle a substantial workload. He converted 10 touches into 70 yards and a score in the preseason, running with New England’s varsity offense. He’ll play, no doubt. Again, he carries the best price in this backfield by far. He’s a terrific lottery ticket.

Mike Gillislee, ADP 73.1 – Gillislee is the most expensive of the Pats backs by far, and arguably the most talented runner when healthy. But we’re required to include the words “when healthy” because he is, in fact, only rarely healthy. He missed multiple weeks of camp with a hamstring issue, a problem that’s plagued him throughout his career. He missed the entire 2014 season with a hamstring injury. Gillislee also averaged 5.7 YPC on 148 attempts over his two seasons in Buffalo, so we know he’s a gifted runner. He’s a bit larger than Burkhead and faster, if not necessarily shiftier.

Here are a few of Coach Belichick’s comments on Gillislee, after the new acquisition made his first preseason appearance days ago:

“We were able to get Mike a few carries and a few plays in the game,” Bill Belichick said Saturday on a teleconference. “I think he still has quite a ways to go. He has missed some practices this fall and missed some practices last spring. … He works hard to stay on top of things and to stay caught up and we’ve worked hard to catch him up, but he still has some ground to make up. We gained some on it.”

As everyone knows, this franchise is notoriously secretive regarding health and playing time considerations, so you can’t expect Belichick to give us any additional intelligence. My assumption, as of this writing, is that Gillislee is still running behind Burkhead, if only slightly. We can expect both to play. Rex is going 50 picks later than Mike, and both are obtainable at reasonable costs in drafts. It now feels as if Gillislee’s odds to reach 250 touches are poor.

James White, ADP 121.8 – White really should have been the Super Bowl MVP after his three-touchdown performance, but whatever. I’m sure he’ll happily take the win and concede the award. He’s the safest bet in this backfield, because his role is well known. He’s caught 100 balls over the past two seasons, including 60 last year. White is a nice mid-rounder in PPR formats, a back likely to see 100-110 touches over 16 games. It’s not crazy to expect a small increase in opportunities for him, actually, with Edelman out of the mix. Don’t be surprised if he gives us 750-800 scrimmage yards and perhaps a half-dozen TDs. If those numbers work in your league, get him.

Dion Lewis, ADP 118.9 – This guy hasn’t had a noisy preseason, but he’s been fine (11 carries, 45 yards). Lewis has alternated between the Brady-led squad and the Jimmy Garoppolo group. He’s played only 14 regular season games over the past two seasons after tearing an ACL in 2015. Availability is key in the NFL, and it hasn’t been a strength for Lewis. When active, however, he’s been great, averaging 4.6 YPC for New England and catching 53 passes on 74 targets in 14 games. For now, he remains in the team picture; he’d seemed like a cut candidate after the additions of Burkhead and Gillislee. We have to think of him as a plausible late flier in deeper formats.

So yeah, this is a mess. But we can’t ignore this particular mess, because the team is going to average roughly 30 points per game. None of these RBs are poorly priced, so I’d urge you to take a shot with at least one of them. Burkhead has been my guy, but I’ve got no beef with Gillislee at his Yahoo ADP. This is the rare case where it makes some sense to target two backs from the same offense, then see if September brings clarity. We have to prepare for the possibility that New England will ultimately produce three flex-worthy backs and no every-week rock solid RB1.

New England’s D still belongs on your cheat sheet.

This defense ranked eighth in yards allowed (326.4 YPG) and first in scoring (15.6 PPG) last season, but only mid-pack in turnovers (23) and sacks (34). The team doesn’t offer a standout IDP, but the team as a whole remains a top-10-ish fantasy asset. Think of the Pats as a luxury matchup D, generally benefitting from game flow. Opening matchups with the Chiefs and Saints aren’t ideal, and it’s a letdown to see one of the two Jets games in Week 17, when respectable fantasy leagues will be finished. Still, this team will see Jay Cutler twice in the final five weeks, which should result in plenty of takeaways.

2016 Offensive Stats & Ranks Points per game – 27.6 (3) Pass YPG – 269.3 (4) Rush YPG – 117.0 (7) Yards per play – 5.9 (6) Plays per game – 67.7 (3)

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