#i did this one before but here ya go again

[rafedarling]

We need drew when rustyns born, like labor/delivery, I think he’s the most supportive partner 😭😭

here are more rustyn for ya.

𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐲

request: OPEN

pairing: drew starkey x fem!reader

summary: your due day has finally come for you and drew to meet your little one. as labor unfolds, drew proves to be the most supportive partner, balancing his nerves with humor, tenderness, and unwavering love.

warning(s): english is not my native language. mentions of childbirth, medical procedures, mild pain, fluff, humour, use of y/n.

au: like, reblog and feedback are much appreciated. taglist | tagging: @rafeyslamb @rubixgsworld @bisexualcvnt @tracymbcm @maybankslover @anamiad00msday @stuffyownswrld @httpsdrewstarkey @mileyraes @enjoymyloves @akobx @noobmazter69 @victwrvale @xoxohoneymoongirl @xoxoblogsblog @wearemadeofstardust0 @percysley @littlelamy

“Drew,” you whispered, reaching over to nudge your husband’s shoulder.

He remained motionless, his breathing slow and even. Another contraction gripped you, and you couldn’t stifle a soft groan. With more urgency this time, you called his name again.

“Drew… babe”

This time, he stirred. His brow furrowed before his blue eyes slowly blinked open.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” he mumbled, still half-asleep.

“I think my water just broke,” you said softly, offering a small, nervous smile.

The words took a moment to register, but when they did, Drew bolted upright.

“What?!” His voice was shock and excitement.

“Oh my god, it’s happening! Are you okay? How are you feeling? Is it bad? What do I do?” He scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over the duvet in his rush.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his frantic reaction, though it was cut short by another contraction.

“I’m okay, but we should probably get to the hospital soon. Can you calm down, though? I don’t need two emergencies tonight.”

“Right, right,” he said, running a hand through his messy hair.

He grabbed the hospital bag you’d packed weeks ago, holding it like it was the most precious cargo.

“Let’s go!”

“Wait,” you said, stopping him. “I need to change my pants first.”

“Oh. Right.” He was back at your side in an instant, helping you up with his hands steady on your arms.

His gaze was full of concern as he scanned your face.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Does it hurt a lot?”

“The contractions are getting closer, but they’re manageable,” you replied, leaning into him as he helped you change.

“But yeah, we really need to go now.”

At the hospital, Drew took charge, answering questions from the nurse about how far you are, are you on any special medication and filling out the paperwork as you were wheeled into your room.

Once you were settled, Drew pulled a chair next to your bed, gripping your hand tightly.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked, his voice soft yet anxious.

“I’m okay for now,” you said, though the contractions were growing stronger and more frequent.

“I didn’t realize how many needles they’d stick in me during all this.”

Drew gave a small laugh, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead.

“You’re handling it like a champ. I don’t think I’d survive five minutes of this.”

Another contraction hit, and you gripped his hand tightly, your breathing uneven. Drew immediately shifted closer, his voice calm and steady.

“Breathe, Y/N. In and out, baby. You’ve got this.”

Hours and hours has passed, and Drew never left your side. He held your hand through every contraction, rubbed your back when the pain became overwhelming, and even tried to make you laugh to keep your spirits up. When you hit the ten-hour mark, Drew suddenly pulled out the camcorder from his sister Brooke, who had brought it to document the big day.

“What are you doing?” you asked, raising an eyebrow despite your exhaustion.

“Making a video for Rustyn,” he said, grinning. “Something for him to watch when he’s older.”

He turned the camera to himself first, his smile lighting up the room.

“Hey, Rustyn. It’s your dad. It’s 6 a.m., and you’re really taking your time, buddy. But that’s okay, we’re waiting patiently. Well, your mom’s doing all the work.”

Turning the camera toward you, he continued,

“And here’s your mom. Look at her, look how incredible she is. The strongest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. You better treat her like a queen when you grow up, okay?”

Despite the pain, you laughed softly. “Drew, stop making me laugh, it hurts!”

He chuckled, then turned the camera toward Brooke, who was pacing in the corner.

“And here’s your Aunt Brooke, who’s been on the edge of her seat all night.”

“Rustyn, ignore your dad,” Brooke said, rolling her eyes. “I’m much cooler than he is, and I can’t wait to spoil you.”

When the doctor finally announced it was time to push, Drew’s nerves hit an all-time high. He squeezed your hand tightly, his other hand brushing the sweat-dampened hair from your face.

“You’ve got this, Y/N,” he said, his voice shaking slightly but full of love. “I’m so proud of you.”

The first push was overwhelming, and you let out a cry of frustration.

“I can’t do this,” you said, tears streaming down your face. “Drew, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he said firmly, his eyes locking with yours.

“You’re the strongest person I know. Just one push at a time, baby. I’m right here.”

With each push, he offered constant encouragement.

“That’s it, Y/N. You’re doing amazing. Our boy’s almost here. I love you so much.”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a loud cry filled the room. Tears immediately welled up in Drew’s eyes as the doctor placed your baby boy on your chest.

Drew was trembling as he leaned over, his eyes fixed on the tiny baby in your arms.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Y/N, he’s perfect.”

You stared down at Rustyn, overwhelmed by love and relief. His tiny fingers curled against your chest, his cries subsiding as he felt your warmth.

“We did it,” you whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks, happy tears.

“No,” Drew said, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“You did it. You’re amazing.”

The nurses congratulated you both, while Brooke captured every moment on the camcorder. Drew leaned down, his forehead resting gently against yours.

“I love you so much, Y/N. Thank you for giving me him.”

“What should we name him?” you asked softly, your voice shaky with emotion.

Drew didn’t hesitate. “Rustyn. Rustyn Starkey.”

You nodded, smiling down at your son. “Rustyn. It’s perfect.”

Drew reached out, brushing a finger over Rustyn’s tiny hand.

“Hey, buddy. Welcome to the world. We’ve been waiting for you.”

[nanivinsmoke]

❥ keep on comin’ back

babydaddy!toji x fem!reader

the reason he keeps on comin back.

tags: dilf toji, explicit language, dirty talking, creaming, squirting, mentions of breeding, missionary, riding, creampie, nipple play, spanking, etc.

note: shoutout to oomf who said toji keeps coming back to me, you the inspo for this.

“What are you doing here? It’s not my week—hi megs, mimi!” you diverted your attention from your baby daddy to your adopted son and your daughter, hugging their small bodies; before letting them inside of your house.

Turning back around to block him from getting in, you bring up your question again. “What are you doing here? Don’t think you’re getting any, last time was a mistake.”

“Last time we almost gave those two another sibling and I didn’t hear you complaining when you were screaming my name and scratching my back up, while i made you cum back to back.” You bit your lip as he helped you remember the last time he unexpectedly came over, which led to you having multiple mind blowing orgasms that night; and a pregnancy scare.

“well that’s never gonna happen again. now are you gonna answer me?” you stared at his green eyes, arms folded over one another—unconsciously pushing your boobs up through your black beater.

“megumi’s supposed to be having a sleepover with his best friend, yuuji, at our place, but the plumbing’s backed up for like a good week. so, he asked could we do it at mommy’s house. plus, mimi said she missed her mommy.” you cooed and looked back at your daughter and step-son, watching them play with one another.

and before you could open your mouth up to ask a follow up question, toji beat you to the punch.

“tried to find somewhere else for me to go. but, there wasn’t any hotels available. and i think it would be great for the kids to have both parents under one roof. what do ya think?” he asked and you sighed, before moving aside to let him in.

“bags are in the truck,” he smiled and kissed your cheek, turning on his heel to grab their things from his car.

being in an on again and off again relationship with each other was took a toll on you both, but it was also tough for the kids. they couldn’t understand why mommy and daddy aren’t together, however it was moments like this they were happy to have. and deep down inside, you both felt the same.

Toji returned with their bags and made his way up their stairs to the kids room, and the guest bedroom, with mimi hot on his tail. While the two of them got situated upstairs, megumi followed you into the kitchen to help you with tonight’s meal. You giggled as you watched him put on his mini apron before stepping onto his stool to watch you clean some meat for dinner.

Megumi watched with an intent stare as you moved with ease, learning from you while you cooked. “mommy? do you love dad?”

his question caught you by surprise and you nearly sliced your finger off. “yes, but not as much as i love you,” he giggled when you ruffled his raven locks before focusing back on the meal. although megumi’s mom died when he was a baby, you still loved him like he was your own. and truth be told, you really did love toji; no matter how many times he annoyed you.

“so, then why aren’t you guys married? my friend yuuji said that his dad said if two people love each, they should marry each other. plus, i saw this shiny ring in dad’s room at the other house—“

you eyes were wide. a fucking ring? there’s no way—maybe he’s got someone else in mind…right?

“mm…i don’t know. hey, you wanna have that sleepover still? go get the house phone and I’ll call yuuji’s dad.” you nervously laughed and watched him leave, before sighing out.

there’s no way, right?

—

the next couple of hours flew by, your mind was practically a blur—still caught up on the fact that toji has a ring and that he could possibly propose to you.

even though you guys broke up on good terms, parts of you missed him. real bad. you missed having him in your arms at night. missed his scent being all over you. missed him being with you and the kids. missed having him so deep inside of you almost every night.

and the reason the two of you broke up was because of him. he pushed you away, pushed you away from his heart.

yuuji came over and was having a ball with your kids, before the three of them crashed for the night, finally allowing you to have some time for yourself. you lounged on your plush brown couch, glass of wine in your hand as you caught up with one of your favorite shows, when toji’s deep voice echoed through your ears.

“knew I would find you here. what are ya watching?”

“uhh supernatural….toji can i ask you a question?”

“ya just did,” he chuckled and ducked when you hit him in the head with a throw pillow. “you know what i meant.” he nodded and you sipped some more of your wine before turning to look at him, your heart beating out of your chest; while you felt a heartbeat elsewhere.

“the ring you have, is that for me?” there was pause and his eyes caught yours. and before he could open his mouth, you spoke once more.

“meg’s told me you had it. do you really wanna marry me? do you think—“ your nervous rambling was caught off by his lips. the scar on his upper lip rubbing smoothly against yours, making you moan out. and when he pulled away, you whimpered; yearning for more.

“gotta teach him to keep secrets. damn big mouth.” he teased megumi and you gave him a slight kick, giggling at him, before he pulled you onto his lap—your plush thighs melting against his waist.

“but, yeah. ‘m gonna marry you. make you mine and pump you full of my babies,” his last comment sent shivers up your spine and you could feel your panties moisten with arousal. the tension was overwhelming and you couldn’t take it anymore. you crawled off his lap and swiftly pulled his dark grey sweatpants down to his knees, making his fat cock spring to life; before you immediately wrapped your plump lips around his head.

toji sucked in some air and tangled his thick fingers in your hair, pulling it while you worked your way down his dick. his cock was coated with your salvia, dripping down from his angry red tip—to the top of his balls, before you scooped it up and rubbed it all over him.

he was in pure bliss. basking in the sheer pleasure you were giving him. his jaw clenching as you made a sloppy messy on him, trying to suppress the moans that wanted to slip; until you swirled against his frenulum & teased his tip, making him loudly groan out.

you released him with a ‘pop’ sound echoing, your small hands jerking him off while you maintained eye contact with him, “shhh don’t wanna wake them up. now do we?” the look on his face sent a jolt of electricity up your spine and to your aching cunt, causing a switch to flip inside of you.

he watched you quickly pull your panties down, your slick sticking to the fabric, webs of your arousal following; before you squatted down onto his lap once more. “need you inside. need you to cum deep inside of me.”

you whined when you pushed him in, walls immediately stretching out and wrapping around him. this is what he missed. this is why he kept coming back…..well, one of the reasons.

his hands met your hips and helped guide you up and down on his dick, tip pressing into your cervix every once and a while. it didn’t take long for the moans to flow out freely from your mouth as you continued to bounce, stuffing you. and soon, you became even more gushy, cunt squelching while cream started form around his base—sticking to your skin while you moved.

“fuck you’re so tight. missed this pussy,” his hands collide with your ass, the fat rippling from the impact. he gripped the globes of your ass, loving the soft fat, before resting his hands on one of your cheeks.

everything about this felt sooo good. the noises you created and the touches he was giving you, was sheer bliss and you could feel an orgasm approaching. toji could feel you clenching down on him repeatedly and he groaned at the sensation. with his free hand he pulled the sleeves to your beater down—pushing it down a little—before putting one of your plump mounds into his mouth.

the warm, wet feeling of his mouth made you throw your head back; still enduring the workout of bouncing on his fat cock.

he didn’t know how he was able to last this long inside of you, especially with how long it’s been since the last time and the unbelievable head you gave him. but, he was nearing his end too.

you could feel his hands move to your waist, before your back met the soft plushness of the couch and your legs were planted at his sides. now, his cock was nestled deep inside of your tummy, hitting your spot each time he thrusted.

toji reached underneath your thighs and pulled out your wet sticky underwear, putting it into your mouth to muffle the lewd noises that left your lips. your eyes was rolling back into your head as he fucked an orgasm out of you. well, that is until he pulled you by your hair; forcing you to watch him fuck everything out of you.

“look at the mess yer makin—shit! cum for me mamas”

oh the mess you made.

specks of white blurred your vision as you stomach caved in and a stream of clear fluid splashed out, drenching his black t-shirt and the cushions underneath. you had reached nirvana, but the pleasure didn’t stop there.

toji’s grip on your hair tightened while he pounded your cunt silly—splitting you open, pumping thick white ropes of his seed inside of you.

unable to formulate any words, he just smashed his lips onto yours; hands around your neck as the two of you shared the best orgasms of your lives.

this was it. this is exactly what you wanted. what he needed. why he kept coming back.

he sat back, catching his breath while you started to come back to reality, staring at you with pure love. “guess we gotta order a new crib. hm?”

[heart4caitlin]

INJURED HEARTS / paige bueckers

Paige bueckers x injured!fem!reader

Synopsis: After an acl tear, y/n is out for the season. She finds solace in the main star, Paige.

NOT PROOFREAD !!!

The gym was buzzing with excitement. The sounds of sneakers squeaking against the court as you sat alone in the sidelines. Not really pay attention to the game, everything had felt distant to you. The dull ache in your knee, a constant reminder of what happened a few months ago.

Paige was The Star of the court. She had it all, the skill, the confidence, everything. Everyone had loved her at Uconn. She was everything that you wanted to be. Everything that you couldn't see yourself being. You'd been playing for years before but as you watched other players, the confidence wavered just a bit.

Watching the team play felt like a slap in the face, how the others moved on the court, every shot, every steal, everything was smooth and they played so well together.

The game was nearing the end, the score being a tie. Paige had just sunk a three-pointed, making the crowd go absolutely wild. The opposing team rushing to get the ball and going down the court, but they were too late. Game over. Uconn had won again.

You just couldn't shake the burden of being a failure, thinking you would never be as good as them. All because of an ACL tear.

As the crowd cheered, Paige kept looking over to you. She finally caved in and jogged over to you on the bench, taking the seat beside you and giving a soft smile.

"You good?"

"Yeah, just watching the game. Congrats on the final point, Paige." You smiled at her, a lump in your throat as the constant feeling of being a disappointment kept coming back.

She didn't answer right away, her hand coming to rest on your knee, squeezing gently. "Come on, don't lie to me, Y/n. I know you are. Don't think so badly on yourself all because you're not playing, we’re still doing this together. So don’t shut yourself out, okay?”

Your heart ached for a second, you bite your lip and nod towards her. For the first time since her injury, you let yourself believe.

The locker room was loud, everyone cheering and talking above one another, as you were sitting on the side with your leg propped up. Paige was staring at you from where she was sitting. She made her way over towards you, slipping into the spot next to you as her hand moves to your thigh.

For a moment, it was silent before Paige started speaking. "I'm proud of you, ya know? You are apart of this team, whether you're playing or not. We all need you here. I need you here."

Your heart ached for a second, you stared at Paige for a few seconds. "I love you so much, Paige." The two of your hands intertwined, Paiges' thumb stroking the back of your hand as she smiled.

Before you know it, Paige is leaning forwards into you and her lips are on yours- soft and light, her hand coming up to rest on your cheek.

The two of you part, slightly breathing heavily as your foreheads rest together. "I love you too." Paige murmured against your lips, before smiling and pressing against you again, the team being forgotten in the background.

a/n: This was really short, i apologize!! I did only erite this in like an hour last night. please reblog and comment !!

[sttrawberries]

 ‘’ He couldn’t help smiling at your conversations, it was like he was back to a teenager nervously trying to talk to a crush, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with those.’’ babyy

‘’ What really made his stomach churn was when he couldn’t bring you to the airport to see him off. It felt wrong to leave your place without you behind him, leaving you to kiss only him goodbye, but not asking to follow him to the airport.’’ Maybe one day:(

‘’ and he was fighting to throw you on the next plane so you could watch him race.

Maybe a dramatic kiss after he won would be nice’’ *waiting patiently*

‘’ I saw that interview and I know that look in your eyes. I even commented on that video.” We just found the captain of our ship sksjssks

‘’ Dick’s gonna be jealous when I tell him you’re trying to get a flight back for love.” Kskdkssjs

‘’ “JayJay! JayJay!” Lian’s small shout catches Roy’s attention.’’ AWWWWWW

 ‘’She made small grabby hands before he immediately gave in to grab her underneath her arms, settling on his chest.’’ AAAAAAAA

‘’ While Jason patted Lian’s back soothingly, Roy watched as the two most important people in his life were embracing. It brought a smile to his face.’’ PLEASE MY HEART, this is the cutest thing!

‘’ He was given support.’’ I’m so happy, he deserves it

‘’ He looked like he was in his element, a kind of happiness that only sprouted in him from Formula 1.’’ :,)

‘’ You: Send me a picture of you in your gear’’ that’s how it starts huh

“Todd? How is that guy a threat? He just hides behind the RedBull emblem, but he’s nothing but another racer.”’ I present to you all my new enemy

‘’did you see how he crashed his vehicle last year? Bet he wouldn’t want that happening again, huh?’’ *no fears* *reads that line* *one fear*

‘’ (Handsome) Mr. Todd: please I am more than my body’’ dkskdlhdskj

‘’ but he walked in a different direction, away from the crowd.’’ Weird? I’m going to get paranoid

‘’ you could see the racer joining another man, adorned in a suit, turning his head sideways, but you couldn’t recognize who that was.’’ Postpone the race, I’m definitely paranoid

‘’ Jason’s voice faded as he yelled at Roy to back off from him.’’ Skjdsks

“I gotta race soon, but I just wanted to hear ya before I had to leave. God, I miss you.” AAAAAA

“I wanna fly you out here before then. I mean, I’ll be down for Vegas, but that’s too long. I gotta get you down here next to me.”  

“I’ll see what I can do about work leave, but maybe i’ll take a couple sick days?” YES PLEASE

‘’ I lo—”’’ I LOVE YOU???? JASON AAAAAAAAAAAA

‘’ There are numerous words that start with that sound. Maybe it was a mistake?’’ mmmm

“I was almost done—will you stop—Roy!” JJSJSJSJJS

‘’Roy was the only one who could compete with him on the track, so maybe his words weren’t just to instigate him.’’ Shh jsjsja

‘’ he wanted to see you and win while you were with him.’’ I can’t wait

ANDDD I'M FINALLY UP TO DATE WITH THE CHAPTERS, I'M SO EXCITED FOR WHAT'S ABOUT TO COME AND SLIGHTLY WORRIED ABOUT THAT WEIRD RACE GUY

Racing Hearts Pt. 5

Pairing: F1!Driver!JasonTodd x Reporter!Reader

A/N: sorry for the late late late update 😭 i was having so much problems with trying to enjoy this series again that I felt that if i rushed it it would ruin the series for not just me but a lot of people. Thank you for all the patience and i hope u enjoy this much needed chapter. ENJOY and flowers for all of u 😫💐 like if you’re comfortable and please tell me your thoughts as the story continues <3

Check out the Racing Hearts Masterlist!

Word Count: 1.9k (sorry but i’ll work my way up again 💪)

Jason finally had time to check his phone. He removed any miscellaneous notifications he forgot to silent before getting to the track this morning, but he was checking for a familiar name and icon.

It was like a little surge was invading his bones. He couldn’t help smiling at your conversations, it was like he was back to a teenager nervously trying to talk to a crush, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with those.

The times he rarely did have a fling, he kept it private, left it before it could be a scandal that he would be chewed out for.

But this.

This was new. He knew it was different when he was trying to get any attempt to still make sure you were fine with being with him.

What really made his stomach churn was when he couldn’t bring you to the airport to see him off. It felt wrong to leave your place without you behind him, leaving you to kiss only him goodbye, but not asking to follow him to the airport.

He tried to brush off the feeling the entire flight, but he couldn’t squish the thought that he wanted you here. That other than a quick romance, he could talk to you about his personal life, and he was fighting to throw you on the next plane so you could watch him race.

Maybe a dramatic kiss after he won would be nice. But, that was too cliché.

While deep in his thoughts, Roy tried to peak over Jason’s shoulder, trying to see what he was looking at, but it was not smart to try that on such a tall man. All he could manage to see was an open browser with plane flights.

“You tryna leave me here by myself?” Roy calmly asked, keeping his eyes down at the phone.

Jason frowned, not surprised at the nosey man.

“You get a little friend and now you want to leave me?” Roy feigned tears, placing his hands gently onto Jason’s shoulders. “If you must, then go! I can get us a championship. I can handle that for us.”

Jason sighed, closing his phone.

“Shouldn’t you be watching Lian? Why are you bothering me and what are you talking about?” He asked.

“Lian’s always with the crew, she’s more interested in the buttons than behind the wheel—don’t try to distract me, I’m not stupid, Jaybird. I knew you were a two timer.” Roy pointed an accusing finger into Jason’s face. “I saw that interview and I know that look in your eyes. I even commented on that video.”

“Uh, huh.” Jason ignored him and walked away, this time looking back at his phone to try to type, not reacting to Roy’s antics.

“I’m surprised your brothers haven’t bothered you about it. Dick’s gonna be jealous when I tell him you’re trying to get a flight back for love.” Roy aimlessly followed Jason, adjusting the cap on his head as he playfully wiggled his brows.

“That dickwad is probably too busy hiding behind a badge for that. He needs to find better things to do than bother me.” Jason stopped pacing, looking back at the red hair tail that can’t seem to get off him. “And you need to watch your daughter and also stop bothering me.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Roy sung. “Just me and you on this track forever, plus Lian, never leaving each other while we embrace—with Lian, of course.” He opened his arms for a hug.

Jason gave Roy an impassive look, not bothered to even give him an expression.

Still with open arms and a smile on his face, Roy waited before a small voice shouted out.

“JayJay! JayJay!” Lian’s small shout catches Roy’s attention.

“My Lian!” Roy reached out to grab his daughter walking with one of the crew members, finally relieving them from their babysitting duty. “No Jaybird today, Lian, he’s trying to run away.” He cooed happily to his daughter as she laughed, large noise cancelling headphones were bouncing around her neck and a bright smile spread on her face as he booped her nose.

“I’m not—the flight isn’t for me.” Jason sighed, not willing to look at Roy fully in the eyes.

Roy’s eyes widened as he heard the admission. A small silence lingered.

Lian broke the pause by reaching out for Jason. She made small grabby hands before he immediately gave in to grab her underneath her arms, settling on his chest.

She whispered a small “JayJay” before laying her head down, exhausted from an hour of playing while Roy and Jason were busy racing in the practice sessions.

While Jason patted Lian’s back soothingly, Roy watched as the two most important people in his life were embracing. It brought a smile to his face.

“I’m happy for you, Jaybird.”

It was all that was said between the two as Lian closed her eyes, but Jason felt content. He was given support.

—

“I’m never afraid of the track, it’s the fastest you can ever be on the ground and I wanna be the best.” Jason spoke to the interviewer on your TV screen, the Australian sun surrounding his face.

“How important is this race for you?” The off-screen voice asked Jason.

“Every race is important. I’ve gotten RedBull multiple wins these past couple years and I want to add another one. I feel better than I’ve ever have.”

You sat on your couch, dinner in your lap, watching your partner on screen wave goodbye, giving one final dazzling smile while taking off to his car.

He looked like he was in his element, a kind of happiness that only sprouted in him from Formula 1. A kind of motivation used for racing.

“Welcome to another race of the Formula One World Championship. What a great weekend to continue a new season.” The introduction boomed from your TV, setting up the Sunday excitement, ready to end another race weekend.

Ding. Ding. Your phone notifications rung next to you as you took a bite of your dinner.

You: I told you to hold a peace sign to the camera, now you owe me dinner

(Handsome) Mr. Todd: *thumbs down your message*

You laugh at your phone screen.

You: Loser

(Handsome) Mr. Todd: *thumbs down your message*

You: Send me a picture of you in your gear

As you wait for the reply, your TV catches your attention. A driver you’ve never seen before now standing in front of the microphone.

“Todd? How is that guy a threat? He just hides behind the RedBull emblem, but he’s nothing but another racer.” The raspy voice sent a chill through you.

“Jason Todd is a back-to-back four-time World Champion, do you plan on breaking that streak?” The interviewer pressed on.

“Ha! Like that’s hard, did you see how he crashed his vehicle last year? Bet he wouldn’t want that happening again, huh?” The man’s voice twisted something in you.

Formula 1 did have it’s competitive moments, but how was someone like this rude man competing?

Ding.

(Handsome) Mr. Todd: please I am more than my body

Despite Jason’s words, a flattering picture of him came in. A good look at his hands and body in the RedBull uniform. Gosh, you missed him.

You saved the photo with a smile on your face. A new lock screen.

You: don’t injure that pretty face of yours <3

“Thank you for the interview, good luck on your race.” The interviewer finished up, stepping in front of the camera to replace the rude driver.

You glanced up to get one final look at the screen, watching the rude racer walk away, expecting him to get bombarded with another interviewer and a brand new set of cameras, but he walked in a different direction, away from the crowd.

You were confused at the racer breaking the long chain of interviews happening on race day.

At the very edge of the camera, you could see the racer joining another man, adorned in a suit, turning his head sideways, but you couldn’t recognize who that was.

You whipped out your laptop. Maybe you missed an upcoming rookie the last year or there must’ve been a change you missed in the racing industry.

Your mind buzzed remembering the blurry man putting his arm around the rookie racer before your ringtone shouted at you.

Life is a Highway started to play as Jason’s contact picture brightened on the screen, a nice side view picture of his smiling face when you took him out for dinner.

You quickly picked up.

“Hey Jay! How’s Australia?” You gleefully asked, contrasting glancing back and forth to the TV screen and your laptop before the camera changed to the racetrack, no longer seeing the mysterious men.

“It’s fun when Roy isn’t talking his ass off.” Jason’s voice faded as he yelled at Roy to back off from him. “I gotta race soon, but I just wanted to hear ya before I had to leave. God, I miss you.”

Your breath hitched hearing Jason be so direct. You tried to reason with yourself that it was from the adrenaline before the race, but it made you feel like you were floating off the couch.

“I miss you too. Maybe when you have a chance to get back here, we can go out to eat like we normally do.” You suggested, a little more brightness in your voice.

You watched the compilation of Jason’s previous races playing on the screen. You saw him zooming down the narrow lanes at horrifying speeds as you heard him softly speak to you through your phone.

“I wanna fly you out here before then. I mean, I’ll be down for Vegas, but that’s too long. I gotta get you down here next to me.” Jason’s voice smoothly went in and out of your ears.

Your felt yourself reddening at his delightful words to you.

“I’ll see what I can do about work leave, but maybe i’ll take a couple sick days?” You spoke to Jason, happiness surging through you. “I would really love to fly out there.”

A loud engine roared through your phone, cutting off Jason’s voice briefly.

“Shit, sorry about that, I gotta go. I lo—” Jason hesitated before he was about to end the call, following up by several louder engines revving, overshadowing his voice despite how close he was to the phone. “I, uh, I’ll call you later.”

“Stay safe, Jay.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Beep.

The call clicked to end. No longer hearing the bustle around Jason as he was inching closer to his race.

Your heart beat rapidly in your ears as you continued to hold your phone in your hand despite the call ending moments ago.

You can’t assume.

There are numerous words that start with that sound. Maybe it was a mistake?

—

“What the fuck, Roy?” Jason yelled over Roy revving his engine multiple times. “I was almost done—will you stop—Roy!”

Roy lifted his foot, no longer making the obnoxious noise.

“Get your helmet on, we gotta go. If you win, then you can talk on the phone all ya want.” Roy was ready to pull onto the track. “Unless you want to stay on the phone and I can win this for us?”

Roy laughed as he sped off.

Jason sighed in disbelief as he walked back to get make sure the final checks on his car were done.

Roy was the only one who could compete with him on the track, so maybe his words weren’t just to instigate him.

He needed to focus because he wanted to see you and win while you were with him.

Jason put on his helmet, getting any last-minute safety precautions checked before he got the signal to drive out.

Tag List: @jaybirdstreet @kalzzen @meowkn @velvetberries @i0lovepink00 @rayaskoalaland @spidernuggets @janybabyy @deimks @yasmin-oviedo @bigraga-sk @indulgentdaydream @uhhellnogetoffpleasenowty @idontknowanythingsblog @xakilicious @livvyliv15 @whatsupstark @maxi-ride @kolmikaelsonslover

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 8

Trigger Warnings: None

2 hours to go and Chan goes to work. 3 hours to go and Y/N will be left with Jeongin, Minho and Felix. Y/N was determined to decorate the living room with Felix. Felix had started slowly pulling the boxes out to hide in his room, while the wolves got ready to go out. Hyunjin was working on Chan's assets while Jisung and Changbin worked out at the gym. Seungmin was out getting more Christmas supplies, even though he threatened Chan would spank her for it because he hates it going up early, but did Y/N care? Nope. She was ready. As soon as Chan gave her one hell of a kiss goodbye, promising he was leaving for three hours, Y/N knew her plan was going to work as soon as Felix knocked on her door. "So we need to somehow get rid of Minho," Felix whispered. "I'll lock him in the kitchen. Do you have the keys to the doors? I'll barricade the alcove." Y/N said. Felix nodded and pulled out the keys while Y/N ran down the stairs. The first one Y/N had to lock was the back door, which Minho didn't notice. Once the second door was locked Minho turned around in confusion as to why Y/N locked the door, but he ignored it and went back to his cleaning until he heard the scrape of a table come past the alcove. "What are you doing little wolf," Minho asked causing Y/N to snort with laughter. She was almost dying on the spot at his confused look. "What's going on?" Minho asked again but Y/N ignored him and dragged the corner table over and placed it between the alcoves. "Locking you in." Y/N giggled.

Minho crossed his arms and stalked closer, watching her like she was his prey. Y/N giggled trying to get him to stay back while Felix dragged the tree into the living room. "Little wolf." Minho sang. "Nuh-uh. Stay right there. All day." Y/N giggled. "If I kiss you will you tell me?" Minho asked boldly. "If I give you lots of kisses and attention and. And. And. And. Help you in the kitchen you will not get mad." Y/N begged as she looked at the wolf. "Hmm." Minho hummed and brought her chin forward, ready to kiss her when he noticed two ball balls run out the door. "What is that?" Minho asked just as Y/N pulled him into a suffocating kiss as she slid her tongue into his mouth. Minho gasped and a hot feeling swelled in his stomach as he grabbed the wall. Y/N brought her hands up into his hair pulling his head back to deepen the kiss. When Minho suddenly pulled back his saffron eyes appeared. Y/N felt nervous when she saw his eyes. Did I do something wrong? "You're such a little distraction are you not omega? Now tell me what you are up to. Hmm." Minho asked slowly. "Putting the Christmas tree up," Y/N said nervously. "Alright. Let's do it. Felix doesn't know how to put it up." Minho stated, pushing the table away so he could get through, while Y/N nervously watched him. She wondered if he was going to tell Felix to stop. Felix jumped, almost knocking the tree down when he saw Minho. "Baby, why is Minho here?" Felix asked nervously. "He said he wanted to help," Y/N said innocently, while Minho gave them a grin.

Minho pushed Felix out of the way to put the tree up, because Minho liked it a certain way. It had to be simple but elegant. While he did the tree, Y/N and Felix decorated the living room with Christmas pillows. Even the fireplace was decorated in garlands with cute little ornaments. Seungmin joined later with bags of snacks and some weird-looking ornaments he got because he was apparently under pressure in the store. Minho scolded him for that and told him to put it somewhere else so Seungmin decorated the hallway. "Shall I cook some of the snacks," Y/N asked as she took the bag into the kitchen. "No. No. I can do it." Minho said as he put the ornaments in Felix's hands. "Ya. I can cook Min. Let me cook." Y/N assured as she pushed him lightly into the room. "Did you not like my cooking on your birthday?" Y/N jested. "Yes-" "So then go and decorate. I got this." Y/N gave him a quick kiss before heading into the kitchen. Y/N looked at the foods Seungmin bought and preheated the oven while she set up some savoury snacks in the kitchen.

Y/N smiled to herself in the kitchen, as she thought back to the first time she met them. She feared them if not hated them back then and now things had changed. She felt safe with them. She loved them. She loved all of them in different ways. She loved Chan's patience and caring nature. She loved Minho's silent attentive nature that isn't always recognised as it's hidden deep within his cold façade. She loved Changbin's sense of humour and playful nature when he didn't want to do something. She loved Hyunjin, and despite him still being a closed book she loved his determination to keep her free from isolation. She loved Jisung's neediness and paranoia to get things right. She loved Felix's naiveness but his hidden strength to protect when he needed to. She loved Seungmins aloofness but also his irrevocable sexual nature. She loved Jeongin's determination to be the best alpha, but most of all she loved his protectiveness. Love was a strange thing for Y/N and she didn't think she could ever love again, but one thing she learned was you can only love once. You can only love someone once in that way. Love forms in different shapes and sizes. There is no way you can love someone different in the same way. People are far too different and hold many flaws. Even Y/N was flawed. She was flawed in many ways but her scars and wounds had started to heal. She was in a new place with new people who loved her. She felt safe.

Y/N jumped when she felt someone wrap their arms around her waist, placing their chin on her shoulder. It was Minho. He didn't say anything at first, only embracing her as he watched her put the snacks in a bowl. "Why do you look sad but feel happy?" Minho asked. "I'm happy. I was only reminiscing and thinking about how things have changed. How I feel safe here. Loved." The last part was a whisper, but Minho heard it. "You are loved, Y/N more than you ever know. I'm glad you feel safe here. You deserve to feel happy." Minho said, his voice softer than usual. "The living room is done. Chan and Hyunjin are on their way but I diverted them as I've asked them to pick up sauce." Felix stated eagerly. "We don't need sauce," Minho stated as he moved to open the cupboard where a variety of different sauces lived. "He doesn't need to know that. I wanted to watch a film with Y/N before they get here, or at least part of it since Chan is going to shout at us." Felix stated. "He won't. I'll defend it." Minho stated as he pulled Y/N towards the nicely decorated living room.

The living room was cosy and the fireplace had been lit. The sofa was nicely decorated even though Seungmin had already sprawled himself out on it with a bowl of crispy peaches. "What?" Seungmin asked. Minho ignored him and smacked his legs off so he and Y/N could sit down. It was quite awkward for Minho as this was the first time he was being openly affectionate. He allowed Y/N to sit in between his legs, cuddled up to him, while his other leg hit the floor. Felix sat next to Y/N as he flicked through Netflix to find a reasonable film while Y/N placed her legs on him, leaving a sulky puppy bunched up in the corner alone. Minho during the film would occasionally stroke Y/N's hair or rub circles on her hand, making it difficult for Y/N to concentrate on the film. Y/N was feeling a warm little bubble spread in the bottom of her stomach as she looked at the three wolves who were close to her. Even Seungmin had his hand resting on her foot so she knew he was there. "Why is there Christmas shit up," Chan called out. "Ask Minho." Seungmin and Y/N called out. "The living room looks nice. I can tell Minho did the tree." Hyunjin said as he poked his head around the wall to see the living room done up. "You did the living room! What did i-" "Ya," Minho shouted. "It's Y/N's first Christmas with us. She's allowed to celebrate early this year and we're going to make it the best Christmas. So take your grumpy self elsewhere." "Hyung calm down," Seungmin stated as he picked up half the food he dropped down himself from Minho's shouts.

Chan sighed but seeing his sweet omega's face looking disappointed at his actions made him feel guilty. It wasn't that Chan hated Christmas, it was that he didn't understand why they had to decorate two weeks before December. It made no sense. "I think it looks nice, but these blankets are awful." Hyunjin frowned in disgust. "You buy them then," Seungmin answered back. "I will. I'll take Y/N shopping soon." Hyunjin glared as he took one of the snacks off the table. "Hyunjin's right. It does look nice. I'm sorry baby." Chan apologised. He could see Minho's reasoning behind wanting to decorate early and he was right, she deserved it. She deserved better memories. "But no more decorating, please baby," Chan begged. "We're doing the kitchen tomorrow," Y/N answered and Felix grinned, causing the alpha to shake his head as he sat on the stool pressing play on the film they were watching.

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@galaxy4489 @reallychaoticwoo @leezanetheofficial @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @maggicotton @jellymochii @itzreetal987 @jennibahng @vampkittenb82 @catlove83 @thatgirlangelb @pixie0627 @hyunmikim @skzdreamer13 @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @tsunderelintz @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx @fr34k4c1dr41n

[vanishingstarrs]

loss of my life ( k. bakugo x reader, anxiety, depression, mourning, stages of grief, character death mentioned, some self deprecation OR your boyfriend laments the loss of his life and struggles through the reality of being the one left alive ) ( and what if i was feeling sad ) ( i’m actually so sorry omg xx ) ( play loml by taylor swift if u want this to hit extra hard </3 )

The sky was crying.

Katsuki Bakugo disliked nothing more than the rain, the whole concept of it made him feel extremely weak— useless. Not only did the heavy downpour make it harder for him to produce sweat and therefore harder to use his quirk, but being drenched made everything much slower and heavier, so cold and lifeless. He never understood what you liked about it so much.

Not until he was sitting on a bench, tears and rainwater blurring his vision, the two liquids blending together and making it hard to distinguish whether he was crying. He tilted his head back, letting the water pelt against his skin as he finally released his breath.

For a moment… it almost felt like the clouds were doing all the hard work for him, he didn’t even have to cry. A sudden crackle of thunder snapped against the sky, screaming so he didn’t have to, angry for him over life’s injustice.

He didn’t understand it. And then he did.

He could understand why you’d sit at the window for hours, staring out at the rain with a serene look in your eyes, your whole body at ease.

The text cursor blinked up at him mockingly as he remained frozen, looking at his phone, your contact pulled up. It was still favorited on his phone. He hit call after a few seconds, letting the other phone in his hands (one he paid for solely so he could keep doing this) go on and on, the special ringtone you’d picked out specifically so you’d know it was him calling played out. Over the speaker he heard it… your voice.

“Hey! It’s Y/N, I’m off saving the world right now so leave it at the beep and I’ll call back… or not ‘cause I hate phone calls… unless you’re my boyfriend… I’ll text ya! Okay bu— beeeeep.”

The recording cut off before you could fully say bye in that signature cute way that was simply so you, it was more of a buh-bye, with you dragging out the final vowel. If anyone else had said it that way he would’ve found it annoying, told them to speak normal. With you… well, he thought anything that you did endearing.

He wished he’d been strong enough to save you.

His finger twitched, and before he knew it his whole hand was shaking. He stared helplessly at it while his heart went haywire inside his chest.

Dying… he was definitely dying. He was dying and he would get to see you again—

“Kacchan?”

It was overwhelming. The tightening in his chest, the sense of nostalgia washing over him, the longing he felt for someone whose blood had run cold months ago.

A familiar voice broke him out of his reverie, Katsuki looked up to meet green eyes.

How he wished they were yours… he’d often get lost in the world behind your eyes, picturing where life would lead the both of you, together.

“What are you doing out here? You hate the rain.”

He was crying.

It was obvious to his childhood friend, even with the rain trying to disguise it. Izuku Midoriya knew him like the back of his hand, and he knew how much he was hurting with your loss.

“I know you don’t feel like celebrating right now, why don’t we go back inside?” Deku continued,“I’ll walk you to your room.”

He’d rather be in yours… a room now empty, it used to be filled with all your things— books, knickknacks, posters on the walls, photos you’d force him to take that he secretly loved being in because it meant you felt he was worth remembering for years to come… he used to love spending time in your dorm if not only for your scent, being enveloped in it made him feel warmer than he’d ever known before…

“She’s gone.” He finally spoke.

You really were gone. You weren’t coming back. You wouldn’t appear once more someday, jumping up from behind him to yell “sike” and laugh off just how good you’d gotten him. You’d never hold his arm again, or force your freezing cold hands under his shirt. Never text him from across the classroom how much you missed him despite having spent the whole morning in his room, getting ready and taking over his whole bed with your makeup. You wouldn’t whine about making the wrong shoe choice for the day and wait for him to begrudgingly let you jump on his back for him to carry you back to the dorms. He’d never hear your annoying laugh again, or stare at the little mole you had under your left eye. The days of flushing in embarrassment when you forced a bit of pda on him in the hallway before class were gone, and so were your secret moments behind closed doors. There was no more holding back, he was crying again.

He wouldn’t see you again.

Izuku gulped, frowning deeply,“I’m so sorry, Kacchan…”

He looked up, eyes somber.

You were the loss of Katsuki Bakugo’s life.

[hitmehardnsofttt]

HELLO MAAM U SAID WE WERE GETTING CAITVI X READER AFTER ACT 2! IT IS NOW PAST ACT 3!!!

yall gon get enough of yelling at me lmaoo here dammit!

Cat got your tongue? | Vi Arcane x Caitlyn Kiramman x Reader

FYI: reader works in the undercity brothel, caitvi x reader, smut, (no major plot but read with the idea that Cait usually tops Vi 😉) receiving, oral sex, strap sex, strap referred to as cock, threesome, Enjoy whores! (Art Credit.)

Vi: Hey! I'm in town for the weekend. Are you free tonight?

Me: I have a client at 7 but after that I’m free. 😉

Vi: Perfect, I want to surprise my girlfriend, Cait. Switch things up for the night. 👀 How much again? Been a minute ya know lol

Me: Haha, no worries. Usually $1000 for couples! But for you old friend…I’ll do $750 😉

Vi: My girl. We’ll be there at 10:30!

“Why did you want me to wear this?” Cait asks Vi suspiciously as they approach the brothel door. "And where are we? How long are you going to make me wear this blindfold?" Vi can't help but chuckle as she pulls her girlfriend along. Always ever curious, it's one of the things she loved most about Cait.

“You’ll see cupcake, now come on, we’re running late.” Vi replies. She does the confidential knock on the door.

“Hey!”

“Violet… old friend, this way.” Babette smiles as she leads them to your room.

———————————————————————————

As you’re adding the vinyl to the record player, you hear a knock at the door. They're here. No need to be nervous. I did teach Vi everything she knows after all.

You walk over and open the door.

"Violet".. you trail off. Just as beautiful as I remember.. “And Cait.. come in." God, Vi. Doing pretty damn well for yourself. Cait… she’s breathtaking. "I've been expecting you."

"Vi?" Cait questions. "Can you take this blindfold off now, what's goi-" Before Cait can finish her barrage of questions, Vi sits her down on the bed, removing her jacket along with her blindfold. Her big bright blue eyes scan you up and down. You can't tell if they're filled with curiosity, lust, confusion, or a mix of the three. She looks back and forth between you and Vi. Holding her eyes at Vi, and it appears to you she's almost asking for permission..guidance maybe? Vi nods at her and then you.

You walk over to Cait, removing your silk robe exposing the intricate lace set that leaves...nothing...to the imagination. Easy access too.

Her eyes dart up and down your body as you straddle her long legs. You take her by surprise when you pull her in for a kiss without saying so much as a word. Throwing your arms around her shoulders, you swipe her bottom lip with your tongue, waiting for her to let you in, and she obliges. The kiss is fiery, passionate, not nearly as innocent as you were expecting. She grabs your hips and starts to grind them against her own.

Vi throws off her leather jacket and pants before she makes her way onto the bed, positioning herself next to you two.

Still straddling Cait, you pull away from her slightly, giving Vi just enough room. You get lost in a trance watching the way they kiss each other. You feel yourself growing more and more aroused with each passing second.

"God, you two are....so...so fucking hot." Your words pull them out of their kiss as they can't help but chuckle.

You throw your hands up innocently, holding back laughter, "Hey, I'm just being real!" You use the moments of laughter as a distraction, crawling up towards the head of the bed on all fours. You lay on your back and spread your legs for them.

"Now..help her take her clothes off, Violet,” you instruct.

Vi rushes to start removing Cait's clothes, but your next words halt her. "Ah, ah, ah, slowly," you demand.

You wet your two middle fingers with your tongue and start to tease your clit.

Vi follows your commands. She lazily starts to remove Cait's navy colored lace top. Kissing her way down each inch of her body as she does. Cait throws her head back in ecstasy as Vi takes her time showing attention to each of her perky pink nipples. Her skin somehow shines, even in this low light.

"Vi...." she trails off as her hips buck in response to her touch.

"Good girls, nice and slow…just like that…” you tell them.

Cait returns the sentiment, easily removing Vi's binding tank, exposing her.

Something she used to be so shy about…Cait's really brought her out of her shell.

The sound of a gritty moan from Vi pulls you out of your head and back into reality. You focus your eyes on Cait as she pulls on Vi’s nipple ring with her teeth.

"Like i said.... so...fucking...hot." you moan out.

Your sultry words direct Vi and Cait's attention back onto you. They crawl towards the head of the bed, closing in on the space around you. Vi grabs the strap you set out for tonight off of the bedside table, applying it effortlessly.

She leans over to Cait, whose licking her lips as she watches you play with yourself.

“Go ahead, cupcake. Taste her. Taste how wet she is for us while I stretch you..." she trails off, leaving trails of kisses down Cait's spine as they get into position.

Cait arches her back for Vi as she lifts her little skirt, pulling her matching navy lace panties to the side. Vi can't help but smack her ass, leaving a large red handprint on Cait’s pale skin. She winces in response.

"God, you're so wet already," she teases her with the tip of her cock before sliding inside of her with ease. Just as she thrusts inside of Cait, you grab her head and seal her moans with your drenched folds.

"Holy..." Vi doesn't seem to be able to finish her sentence.

"Cat got your tongue, Vi?" you ask teasingly.

"Looks like..it’s got Cait's… actually....” she manages to retort between chuckles.

Cait remains focused. She swipes her tongue up and down your slick slit, expertly. Your hands still holding her head steady in place. Your stomach overflows with nerves as she spits on your clit before blowing slow paced breaths on it. She spreads the hood and sucks on you, causing your entire body to twitch in response.

“Fu-fuck..yeah Cait with your tongue out like that. Look at me."

At first, you're able to watch, enthralled with her, but the skill of her tongue becomes too much…causing you to drop your hands and throw your head back in bliss.

Cait pauses and Vi's thrusts slow. "Look at me, I wanna watch you when you cum. I wanna see that pretty face," she tells you. Her accent turning you on more than you’d like to admit. She lowers her mouth back down onto your soaking wet pussy.

Vi's once slow thrusts gradually start to become erratic and Cait follows suit. She buries two of her lengthy fingers deep inside of you and curls them up, reaching for that spot. Every thrust Vi's giving her is causing her fingers to go deeper inside of you.

"Cait..Vi....I-I'm..." you stutter on your words.

"Awww sweetheart, I know you can do better than that, tell us how you bad you want it, baby," Vi responds.

You clear your throat.

"I- I need to cum… so fucking bad...for you...for both of you...p-please..” you whimper.

"Thatta girl...go ahead...finish her off, cupcake," Vi instructs.

With her fingers still pumping into you, Cait uses her other hand to spread you once more before engulfing your budding clit between her sweet lips. She alternates sucking and flicking her tongue against it, finally pushing you well over the edge. Your sweet arousal begins to soak her face and fingers, but she couldn't care less. In fact, she relishes in it.

"Fuck, " Vi moans out as she too starts to reach her peak, enhanced by the sight of you two.

She feverishly grabs Cait's hips, slamming her back against her cock, vying for any little bit of more friction she can get against her clit.

"Vi, don't st-stop," Cait manages to mutter out. You watch hypnotized as they both climax together...their fully spent bodies both collapse next to yours. You turn towards Cait, stealing a kiss from her, and then towards Vi, grabbing her cheek and stealing one from her as well.

Cait let’s out a dramatic deep sigh before she asks,

“Well ladies... how do we feel about round 2?”

[kurishiri]

Jude chapter 3 silly but kinda detailed summary

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

kate successfully completes sortin out letters so she heads to the port where jude is talking with the foreman. its there she sort of thinks back on her time at raven co and the long and short of it is that jude, as the ceo, is actually really outstanding, and he acknowledges the efforts of those who work hard, produce results and whatnot, and rewards them in turn.

(that said he could work on his wording ,,)

time skip to night after judes done and they all walkin back tgt where kates like “i think i’ll be able to have a good dinner today” and jude scoffs at her callin her a twit. and shes all defensive like hey whats wrong with wanting to eat good food and judes like when did i say that was wrong?

all of a sudden they stop in their tracks and jude tells kate “on the count o’ three, crouch” and kates all panicked like tf is going on but jude already starts counting down so she crouches anw (in a panic!)

some guy in a suits out to kill jude. god knows who too bc apparently jude don’t know him either 💀

Jude: Who are ya? Can’t say ya look familiar.

[ insert some lines im lazy to tl ]

Jude kicked up at the man’s chin, causing the man’s body to do one smooth flip before collapsing onto the ground.

Man in a suit: Jude… Jazza——!

Jude: N’ like I was sayin’, who the hell are ya?

ok turns out jude does remember him in the end, its just another dude who broke his contract with jude and was selling up some illegal drugs and whatnot.

Jude: I told ya, didn’t I? That if ya breach your contract I’d show ya so much o’ hell you’d wish you kicked the bucket?

J: I fulfilled that promise for ya. Havin’ a grand old time in hell, aren’t’cha?

omg he pried open the wound on the mans face and he let out a cry to the night sky that could shake anyone’s soul silly.

kate then thinks or foreshadows (yk how like ikevil stories r kinda told like kate is recalling the past? like “i didn’t realize it then, but xyz” kinda like one of those moments) that what she witnessed that night was but a prologue of what’s to come bc they get attacked over and over again.

kate and jude get into another argument like “i feel im gonna die every time! im at my limit!” and judes like “well ur in the way loiterin round like that” then jude just yeets off w/o listenin to another word.

she does feel something bothering her tho

(For someone like Jude, he should be able to avoid these grudges…)

When I thought this, I came up with a theory that relieved me of this unsettling feeling.

(…Could it be he’s making himself an enemy of many on purpose?)

‘Yeah, right,’ was what I thought, but also, somewhere in my heart, I felt such a theory may also be true.

shes like there’s not enough info rn but if i do know anything its that

Kate: At this rate, if I stay with Jude any longer…a hundred lives would not be enough!

and so shes like i gotta learn self defense! so she goes knocking on a certain someone’s door like pls teach me le jutsu of self defense!

Ellis: Okay. （╹◡╹）♡

turns out ellis was also thinking of teaching her some stuff abt self defense soon.

so ellis takes kate to the lobby and kates like why the lobby and ellis goes to a bookshelf to take out a book which actually reveals vics weapon collection and takes out a gun, telling kate to try and hold it.

idk if this is a real gun or not (as in it exists irl), apparently its made of silver with a wooden grip.

ellis thinks its well suited for kate. like its lightweight yk. hes like you may need to use it jic. and then hes like

Ellis: But, it’s kind of refreshing.

E: Other than me, Jude seems pretty adverse to putting people by his side.

E: So, maybe he wants to get along with you?

kates like mmm doubt but at the same time she has this question in her mind w/o an answer of why he went and wrote a whole contract and let her stay by his side then? shes abt to cook up a theory in her head when…

just then jude comes in.

Ellis: Ah——Jude.

Jude: We got a job to do.

so they head off to some noble mansion.

Jude: How do ya do, we’ll be here a while.

Nobleman: Ah, Mister Jude?

apparently this nobleman is connected with the guy in the suit jude beat up in the beginning of the chptr. he made him spit out info.

Jude: If ya just were sellin’ somethin’ shady I’d let that off the hook. Illegal drug’s some child’s play.

J: However.

Jude raised one leg and rested it atop the long table.

Jude: I seem to recall the contract prohibitin’ the sellin’ and buyin’ of humans, or am I wrong?

ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 15

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

“Hey F, could I get some of that dip? Someone threw all of my cans of Snus away when he confiscated my stuff.”

“Sure thang, handsome. Oh- you sure you need that much Stan? You’ve cold-turkey’d nicotine for weeks now.”

“I’ll be fine, stretch. It’s not like I haven’t done worse for less.”

(...)

“Fiddleford, is there a particular reason Stanley is under the table in the recovery position?”

“He tried too much chew all at once, he’s got the nic-sick.”

“Stanley, I told you that you needed to quit that nasty habit! This is precisely why I threw your tobacco products away when you came here.”

“Y’know this headache was bad enough without you yelling at me.”

“I cannot believe you enabled him.”

“Stanford, he's a grown man, he’s allowed to use nicotine if he wants to.”

“He can still hear you. And you know what? I don’t think you ever need to bitch at me about it ever again, Doc. I’m not touching the stuff again for a long time…”

“It’s for your own good.”

“PhD, next time you think about saying that I want you to remember I’m not above hitting a guy with glasses.”

(...)

“Stan, how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven going on twenty-eight.”

“Do you remember when your birthday is?”

“Not the date, no. I know it’s late spring or early summer.”

“And I know your memories are hazy, but did you ever… celebrate it?”

“I think the last time I did was before I was on the streets. After that? There wasn’t a point, I was alone. Why do ya need to know, F?”

“I’m just checking is all.”

(...)

“Stanford, how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“When is your birthday?”

“June 15th.”

“And if I remember correctly from BMU, you never celebrate it?”

“Last time I did I was seventeen.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“I told you back then Fiddleford, I did not see a point, I was-...”

“Used to sharing it?”

“Why?”

“I’m just checking is all.”

(...)

“So each of these is supposed to be your, what, doctors cert?”

“Doctoral degree, and yes.”

“So you have a dozen of them?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. Twelve whole PhDs? That’s pretty cool.”

“...You really think so?”

“Yeah, most people don’t even got one -  but you got one for each finger huh?”

“That’s not why I-. Well, yes, I suppose I do.”

“Stanford! Stan! I’m back, come over to the kitchen!”

“Do ya know what he left for?”

“He did not say.”

“Why’d he turn out the ligh-.”

“Surprise!”

*Stan and Ford stop at the entryway to the kitchen. Fiddleford is standing next to the table, which has a sheet cake and twenty-eight lit candles*

“...”

“Fiddleford, what is this?”

“I know you said you don’t see a point to your birthday, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“Oh, it’s your birthday?”

“...Stanley. It’s not just my birthday.”

“Are you okay Stan? You’re looking spooked. I apologize if I put you on the spot-”

“N-No. I’m fine. It’s uhh- I don’t even know when my birthday is.”

“It’s today. We’re twins.”

“...”

“You still don’t believe-.”

“Wouldn’t, you know, the other guy, be upset?”

“There is no ‘other guy’, it’s literally you.”

“I’m- I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Stanley, I understand you’ve stubbornly held onto the belief that I’m insane and trying to replace something I’ve lost-”

“The cake’s getting covered in wax here, fellers.”

“But I haven’t celebrated my birthday in a long time, because I’m used to sharing it. I am not trying to force you to, but I’m requesting you let me share it with you; I want to share it with you.”

“...Fuck it, I said I’d play along with your delusions until you got over it. Okay, PhD, I accept your offer. But I’m taking all of the corner pieces of the cake.”

“I can accept those terms.”

“Okay you two, I don’t think we got enough time to sing the happy birthday song before the candles melt themselves outta their wicks. So just blow ‘em out and make your wishes.”

(...)

“Hello, Dr. Stanford Pines speaking.”

“Stanford?”

“Hey Ma.”

“Happy birthday hon.”

“Thanks Ma.”

“Please tell me you celebrated your birthday this year. I know your last one couldn’t have been easy after-”

“I was busy with research last year. This year, yes I celebrated, I have… Company, this time.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. Listen hon, I know it hasn’t been easy without Stanley since… the accident.”

“I’ve had more than enough time to think about it. I am not going to lie to you and say I’m not upset at all, but it’s been long enough that I have other things to concern myself with.”

“I just want you to know if things get too hard, don’t be afraid to talk to your old Ma again.”

“...I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I love you, Stanford.”

“I love you too, Ma.”

To be continued…

[honeyxbunny99]

Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt. 9

Charlie stepped between you and the gate and held up his hands. “Don’t you think if there’s a chance he could help—“

“I don’t want to be near him, I don’t want to see his face again! If you were older you could understand—“

“Fuck, would you stop treating me like an infant! I understand plenty!” His yelling caused your response to stutter and halt. “I understand that the man you thought you loved betrayed you. That he chose to hurt you over Joffrey and believe me I understand hatred!.. I understand that you’re being a selfish idiot by putting your pride first instead of your safety! There are people who care about you, (Y/n); me, Anna, your family, and yes even the hound! If you stay here you’ll die!”

His eyes were watery as you absorbed the weight of his words. “Then let me out.” You whispered, ashamed to ask. You wanted to cry with him but took your chance and held out your hand. Charlie’s eyes went between yours and Anna’s behind you. Charlie sniffled and slowly grabbed the large iron ring of keys from his waist. The keys were almost in your hand when the main iron gate slammed open and the three of you jumped in surprise.

“Fuckin’ knew it, ya little shit!” The man’s voice matched the anger in his face and he marched toward Charlie with his hand raised.

Charlie stammered and flinched before the man even arrived and the stranger quickly delivered a back handed blow to the boy. Charlie was flung back by the power of it against the gate and the man snatched the keys out of his hand. You gasped and grabbed the man by the shoulders and tried to pull him away from Charlie, but he reacted quicker than you could in your weakened state and when he turned around, his knuckles met your eye. You fell down hard and gripped your eye, watching your vision pool with blood.

“You were gonna let her out, weren’t ya?! You weak fuckin’ brat!” He scolded and pushed Charlie out of the way so he could unlock your cage.

“No, no I wasn’t—“

The man you guessed was the kennel-master grabbed an iron bar from the pouch of his bloodstained leather apron. “You want to try that again, boy?!”

“I’m sorry!” “Leave him alone!” You demanded, reaching again to try to stop the man as you watched Anna dart for the door. The man turned and kicked you down, his heel directly in your ribs. When the back of your head hit the stone floor you decided not to fight anymore. You heard one final blow land to Charlie’s arm and he cried out, dropping to his knees. The Kennel-master continued on opening the gate and ranting before he fisted his hand in your hair and dragged you into the cage.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Charlie repeated weakly as the kennel master separated the dogs into their own cells. You realized when you had the nerve to bring your eyes to the boy that he was actually apologizing to you. He sat slumped against the other side of your cage and reached a hand behind him through the bars. You dragged your knuckles across the stone to meet him there and matched his weak grip.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

The Kennel-master finished and hollered at Charlie, raising his weapon again and Charlie scrambled to his feet and out of sight without another word. You heard the final gate lock and brought a hand to the back of your head, relieved to find no blood. You were left with Dhalia, who came when you called her and began to lick your hand. She’ll be hungry soon. We all will be. Still, tonight she looked up at you with her familiar sad eyes and you pet the top of her head when she curled up beside you.

Charlie was right. You were being selfish, proud, and weak. In spite of all your talk, you did not want to die in here. Littlefinger. You pulled at your hair in frustration and groaned.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)!” Sandor’s voice at the entrance made you gasp and sent your heartbeat to an alarming pace. “(Y/n) are you in there, what the fuck is going on?!” His tone was angry and you flinched and trembled. You heard the gate rattle and the dogs began to growl and bark. “Damn it, Anna, get me someone who can open this fucking gate!” In spite of your fear you called out to her. “A-Anna?” You heard two taps on the gate and her exasperated sigh of relief. You heard Sandor’s gruff voice mutter something to her but you couldn’t make it out. Your mind was doing backflips trying to figure out why he was here and why he was so angry. Eventually the dog’s barking quieted and you tried to calm yourself as well. Suddenly Anna’s little paper book was tossed through the high window of your cell and you hesitated to take it. Dhalia sniffed at the open pages and looked up at you curiously. When you finally got the nerve to stand you winced audibly at the pain in your ribs and dizziness in your head. You walked over to grab the book and saw that it was folded open on the page with the heart once again. You felt anger and sadness rise up in your chest together as you stared at it. You readied yourself to throw it back. “I don’t want it—“ you stopped cold as you looked at the window and saw Sandor looking back at you past the bars. From the momentary silence, you’d assumed he’d gone, and you were horrified to find him so close. He wore the same frown as the day you met him.

How could she bring him here? It took everything in you in that moment not to tear the book to shreds, but you couldn’t break eye contact with the beast staring you down. His eyes scanned over you and you realized then how atrocious you must have looked. Swollen, bloody, unkempt, and dressed in rags. His stare felt punishing and you hated him more for it. Go on, look. Look what you’ve done to me. Boldly you took a deep breath and walked to the window, daring to toss the book through it right beside his face. He looked down at you, face illuminated only by the rising moon. He was so tall that he didn’t have to reach for a view of you, and you wondered for a second if what you’d heard was true. If the hound lurked around the kennels at night, watched over you as you slept.

“Anna dragged me here.” He finally spoke lowly.

“Sorry to inconvenience you-“ “Oh for fucks sake!” He cried out and latched his hands onto the bars and you instinctively took a step back. “I just wanted to check if you were hurt.”

You narrowed your gaze and flared your nostrils in anger. “If?… if I was hurt?” You smirked at the ridiculousness. “I’m lovely. Now leave.”

The hound stepped out of view but you held your breath in anticipation. Outside of the kennel, Anna held her hands up to stop him and he growled out, “Would you fuck off already?! Bloody useless…”

Anna opened her mouth in offense but saw how hurt and confused he was by this interaction. She boldly motioned for him to continue speaking to you and then retreated back on her way to the Red Keep. In the quiet of the evening, you could hear his strong breathing and his feet shuffle in the dirt right outside.

“Who did that to your eye, it’s fresh.” Finally came. You scoffed lightly and muttered, “No shit… It’s none of your concern. I don’t want you here, I don’t know why Anna brought you—She’s an imbecile.” You were still fuming with her.

“Obviously she brought me to protect you.” “Yeah, you’re good at that, aren’t you… My hero.” He growled in response and you heard his heavy steps begin to stomp away, “Fuck you!” “Fuck you!” You shouted, racing up to the wall. As you stood on your tiptoes, you watched him turn on his heel toward you but you weren’t afraid. “You’re the reason I’m in here, don’t you dare for a second forget that!”

“You think that I could?!”

“And yet you rush so nobly to my rescue— You’ve actually convinced Anna somehow that it was all real, that you still care for me—“

He gripped the bars by your hands furiously. “If I could go back and change it I wouldn’t! We would have died before we made it out of the Keep! I’m a big fucker, tough to kill but I’m still a man— One man alright? You want your head on a pike?! They’d make me watch it!!” He shouted in your face and being so close you actually saw tears in his eyes.

Your lip quivered and you bit down hard in attempt to still it. “We would have died together at least..” you couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. “I wouldn’t hate you the way that I do now.”

His eyes widened in surprise and his grip loosened on the bars. His fingers brushed against yours before dropping out of view completely. The tears flowed as freely as the words did now for you.

“I have never had this much hatred in my heart. I hate you! I hate Joffrey and Cersei and Petyr Baelish and my father and that bloody kennel master and I hate myself!” You cried, sinking weakly to your knees. “Cersei was right… I should have died the first day I walked into the Keep… it would have been a mercy on so many.” You buried your face in your hands, reflecting on all the pain you’d caused. You were utterly defeated, your head buzzed with hunger and weariness. “I am sorry, Sandor Clegane, for all the pain I have caused you. But I never want to see you again. Just let me die…” Your voice was so soft you couldn’t be sure he heard it. You were too exhausted to care.

“I failed you.” His voice sounded crippled with emotions, a tremble in his normally strong voice. Your eyes were closed now as you had collapsed against the stone floor. All you could do was breathe and listen. “You were my new dream, the only good one I’ve ever had… I was supposed to protect you.. and I failed.”

You heard a crack of thunder and flinched, curling into a ball. The pitter patter of rain melting into the dirt suddenly surrounded your senses. You wished, in your desperate state, that you had Sandor’s cloak to shield you from the chill now present in the air. “Forgive me.” He finished before he couldn’t bare the sight of you like that anymore. He ran away and locked himself up in his room again.

That night, you dreamt of a house. A simple one like the one you were raised in, with a fire burning in the hearth of its place to keep warm. You were sewing up a blouse and when the fire began to die down, you walked over to your front door and saw Sandor chopping more wood for you. When he turned and saw you, he smiled and flexed his muscular arms. You laughed and beckoned him inside.

As soon as you turned back around, however, the dream was gone. Your eyes squinted against the bright light pouring in from every possible angle and you brought your arm up to provide more coverage. As you regained your senses you realized what had woken you. You gasped and pulled your entire body back when you saw Dahlia licking blood from your thighs. Your mind transported you to that alley, that hound. Not again, please not again. You stood and backed yourself into a corner, cowering in fear. The dog sniffed in your direction once more but walked away—not desperate enough yet. The familiar cramping in your stomach made you want to cry.

Your monthly bleeding was always a bad omen in your eyes. You were thirsty, hungry, bleeding, terrified. And no one would be coming for you, now. You’d made sure of that yourself last night, and now a part of you regretted it. You tried to stay strong throughout the day, but minutes passed like hours as you paced the room and tried to distract yourself. All the shops were closing up, you realized— vendors taking whatever merchandise they couldn’t sell. In the distance you saw young men training with swords and you began to picture poor Charlie sent to war. The tension all around was palpable and almost made it hard to breathe. I have to get out of here.

“Excuse me! Please! Anybody!” You would shout and cry until someone heard you. A little boy, 6 or so, finally scuttled up nervously to you. “Do you know where Petyr Baelish is?” You were ashamed to ask a child to enter a brothel. He shook his head and you wanted to slam yours. “The master of coin?.. Hang on, please don’t go!” You dipped below in desperate search of your papers. You drew a quick sketch of him and dropped it out of the window, relieved to find the boy still there. He nodded, smiling with a sense of pride when he looked up at you again. “Please you have to find him and tell him that the girl with the dogs says yes. You have to get to him as fast as possible okay? If you do I’ll give you a sweetie, alright? I’ve got lots in here but the dogs want them.”

He snickered, sticking his tongue out a bit. “Run along then, okay. Tell him I said yes and I need him alright?” The boy nodded and ran away with the drawing in hand. You closed your eyes and prayed. Please let this be the right thing to do. Old Gods, New Gods, if any of you are listening, please don’t let me die here.

The sun went down along with your energy and you cozied up in your corner, trying to fall asleep to the pacing and howling all around you. You caught yourself wishing Charlie would come, or even Anna. Over time, you’d realized you had no right to be angry with her. She was only doing what was best in her mind— she saw violence and panicked, and somehow felt safer with the hound around. Before all this you would have felt the same, and though you couldn’t quite understand it now, you wouldn’t condemn her for it. As for Charlie, you only hoped he was alright and staying out of trouble. It would be selfish to see him again, and it would be best for everyone if he were to stay far away. You had plenty of time to think that night, as Petyr never came.

With your final piece of paper you began to draw faces from memory and for some reason, the person you started with was the hound. You and your paper man watched the sun come up and felt hopeless. “What are we going to do?” You asked the drawing. You could hardly remember what transpired the other night, what was said. But you remembered his eyes. Sad and desperate and beautiful. You stared into their likeness on the page and sighed. “Monsters don’t know sacrifice…” you recalled the first night you spent together.

Perhaps he continues to serve as a punishment to himself. He’s going to fight and die in this war, and these sad eyes are going to be my final memory of him. If you hated him the way you claimed you did, his tears, his death, would have been a blessing. But you didn’t, not truly.

Dahlia approached you on the floor and began sniffing at the blood surrounding you. You cringed and stood on shaky legs and the dog growled at your movements. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat as the fear sent your heart off to the races again. Just then you heard the main gate open, conversation of two men in the distance. You rushed to the bars, Dahlia snapping at you but remaining behind to lap up the blood on the floor. You stuck your arms through and waved wildly. “Please, please!” You cried out over the aggressive barks. “I’ll do anything just let me out of here!”

Petyr Baelish stepped into view, signature smirk gracing his features. “That’s what I like to hear.”

The kennel master opened the gate at his command and Petyr dropped a sack of coins into his hand. The man glared at you but you ran past him and into Petyr’s arms. He gladly took you in and began guiding you out past the beasts going wild on all sides. “That’s half of what we agreed upon. You’ve damaged her pretty face.” He dropped casually, ignoring the arguing from the man behind him. “Let’s get you home, (Y/n) (L/n).”

~

In the most garish room you’d ever been in, you were scrubbed down, groomed, and fitted in a silk gown with an open back by two beautiful girls. As one of them was applying a cream to your eye, you dared to speak your first words since you’d left that cage.

“Thank you, my lady.”

The woman smirked and let out a throaty chuckle. “Don’t know if I’ve ever been much of a lady. A woman, surely, but a lady?” She scrunched up her nose and shook her head softly, closing the small case. “That should make the bruising go away quicker… Doesn’t make it hurt less though.”

She was about to stand up but you graced her forearm to stop her. “Wait, is it.. Is he.. Is it safe here?” The fear in your voice betrayed you as you stuttered in front of the girl.

She sighed, looking you over and brushing the hair behind one of your ears. “You're in good hands, love. We’ve been expecting you for some time… Petyr’s taken a liking to you so you don’t have to worry for now. He’ll want you to heal before you join the rest of us.”

“Indeed I will.” She stood finally and smiled at the man entering the room. You looked at him through the reflection of the mirror before you and your heart and stomach flipped when you saw that a tray of food was being brought in alongside him. You turned around in your chair but stopped yourself from approaching, instead reserving yourself to stand and bow your head. Petyr raised a hand, “Now now, there’s no need for any of that. Just a short time ago you threatened to rip out my tongue, and now you bow to me?”

Heat flooded your cheeks and your eyes sank a little in shame. Still he continued to approach, and the girls left the two of you alone.

“Never underestimate how quickly circumstances can change…” Finally he was close enough that you could smell the air of cloves that surrounded him, and he used a gentle hand to raise up your chin to meet his eye-line. “Know who your enemies are, (Y/n). Learn how to turn them in your favor, and learn when to dispose of them..”

You couldn’t understand why he was telling you this but you nodded agreeably. “You’re hungry, aren’t you?” His voice was kind now, as kind as it could be any way. Your eyes narrowed in earnest and you nodded again into his hand. He smiled and released you, directing you to the food. Sliced meats, cheeses, vegetables, you shoveled it all greedily in your mouth as Peter poured a chalice of wine beside you. “Slow down, (Y/n). It will all come back up if you force it down, and you wouldn’t want to waste my food, now would you?”

You chewed and swallowed slowly, wiping your mouth and accepting the drink he offered. “Thank you, I— I’m sorry for what I said before.”

“Let’s not lie to each other.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “When I saw you in that cage finally, I must admit I had doubts about this arrangement. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a creature so pathetic… Yet here you are again. Clean and smooth and,” he offered his hand and you took it, and he paused to sniff your wrist, “fragrant as a rose.. Still, you’re bleeding and skinny and black and blue.. And I’m sure you’re obviously still reeling from the whole ordeal. You see, (Y/n), I am about to have a large influx of customers. War is all about sex and power, after all, and that’s what my establishment stands for. Tonight the King stands bravely among his soldiers, but I’ve witnessed first hand the brutality, the tenacity of the Baratheon bloodline and they may very well breach our wall. The night will be loud and horrid, and no matter what at the end of it the men will come. I am going to keep you from all of that. You needn’t fear their bloody hands on you tonight… but (Y/n), when I finally do ask you to touch and be touched,” he had sat you down in the middle of his speech and now his fingers slid delicately up the line of your spine, sending a chill that made your shoulders tremble. He smiled at your reaction, bringing his face closer and using the hand that never left you to move your hair and lock gently around the base of your neck. He spoke lowly, “you will obey. You belong to me now. Say it.” “I belong to you.” You looked him in the eyes for good measure.

“Good girl… Now please, eat, drink, sleep. I would stay in your room for the rest of the night if I were you. We will see each other in the morning…” He stood and walked to the door. “Dream of all the money you’re going to make, all the freedom you’re going to have.” He said before ironically locking the door behind him. You couldn’t care to think about anything beyond tonight, so his words did little to haunt you. You ate again, barely tasting the flavors before they were down your throat.

~

As Sandor watched the black water erupt in green fire like he’d never seen before, he felt small again. Terribly, helplessly small. Joffrey smiled out looking upon the men burning and drowning, thinking they’d already won. The hound knew, however, it couldn’t be that easy. He was supposed to die here tonight as a penance for all the evil he’d done. He watched a large ship grow nearer and grabbed a drink bag from a servant boy, chugging one final drink down before he descended to where the rest of the so called soldiers huddled and prayed. Perhaps if he defended (Y/n) one final time, died keeping out the people that meant to take this city, she could find the forgiveness in her heart. He heard the commotion of Stannis’ men arriving on the beach and growled, knowing if they found her, they’d kill her when they were done using her. As the door opened and they began their march to defend the city, to defend his princess, he threatened, “Any man dies with a clean sword, I’ll rape his fucking corpse!!”

He cut down many of Stannis’ men easily and was showered in the blood he missed so dearly. Killing was like a drug for him— one he was careful not to get addicted to. Watching someone come near who meant him harm and then cutting them to useless pieces made him feel all powerful, all knowing. It was a high like no other and he chased it, feeling he would die doing what he was born to… Then the fire came for him.

Men charged the beach with torches and his armor suddenly felt paper thin. His body fought back on autopilot, but his mind raced with flashbacks of his own burning flesh— Gregor’s toy burning beside him in the fire of their home because it had never been about the toy. His brother would seize any opportunity to hurt people. Sandor heaved big breaths as he looked around and saw the fighting again. No, not a battle anymore, another failure. Stannis’ men were more bloodthirsty than his own untrained citizens with swords they’d not broken in. He saw the way they hammered at the Mud gate and fled the beach. They’re going to break in, he thought. We’re losing.

He demanded wine from the servant, spitting out the water and looking out as the fire seemingly spread everywhere down below. They’re going to take her.

“Can I get you some iced milk? And a nice bowl of raspberries too?” Came out of the bastards freak uncle.

He drank again. “Eat shit, dwarf.”

“You’re on the wrong side of the wall.”

“I lost half my men!.. The black waters on fire..” he spoke the obvious, still entranced by the horrors he was considering.

Joffrey piped up from his cowardly position, voice shrill like an old woman’s. “Dog, I command you to go back out there and fight!” Sandor decided then and there that he was finished taking orders from a little boy, a little monster. Why couldn’t he have walked away before and save her all this pain. He drank again to numb the pain and shook his head in defiance as he swallowed it down.

“You’re Kingsguard, Clegane. You must beat them back or they’re going to take this city. Your King’s city.”

“Fuck the kings guard.” He spoke what he had held only his mind for so long. “Fuck the city.” The one that knew of the girl in the kennels and did nothing. “Fuck the King.” He stared the boy right in the eyes as he said it, almost daring him to respond. When he didn’t, he turned his back on the Lannisters and went off in search of his bride.

[stealerofthe2ndbraincell]

ARCANE ACT 3

LIVEBLOG TIME! 🎉🎉

(Once again, more like a reaction then a live blog but sssh)

S2 Ep8: Killing Is A Cycle

Mel in the Ebenezer Scrooge chains again (I know it was Jacob Marley that was in the chains throughout but still) :(

THIS TRANSFORMATION IS SO COOL.

Would be a bit cooler if she wasn't screaming bloody murder throughout but I get it.

They really took some of the excellent bits of her design and decided to really lean into them more for this.

I kind of wish the internet hadn't fucked over the word "empath" cause that made me giggle.

We can't see the sorceress from here but is she meant to resemble the girl from Mel's backstory?

I need to stop pausing to say this immediately before it happens.

Okay so it isn't her, duly noted. I would suck in a fight against this thing.

Did it really say "yeah you're cool but you can still be stabbed, so how powerful are you actually 🙄🙄".

Calamity and Red seem to be associated strongly cause I immediately thought of Breath of the Wild.

I'm living for this backstory.

She must be so cold.

It's all coming back :((

OH SHIT VIKTOR'S IN THE ORB NOW.

God. That's terrifying. Viktor is suddenly extremely terrifying to me.

I'm surprised Ambessa isn't remotely surprised at him mentioning Jayce. He was probably missing for months at this point.

"I will evolve all those willing" so everyone? Everyone in your cult, Viktor? Because they're a literal hivemind so I doubt he'd have much problem.

VI I MISSED YOU.

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO HAVE THAT ISHA FLASHBACK OMG:((

Why does it look like a pokeball? That's so distracting lol

God Maddie is failing across the board, it's embarrassing, girl...

This argument between Cait and Vi was so deserved to be honest.

Maddie is probably hearing all of this...

I never considered Jinx would surrender.

Is Jinx not eating?

Damn what if you just punched me in the gut wow...

Her nails bleeding HURT me so much

"no amount of good deeds can undo OUR crimes" I'm so interested in the "our" from Caitlyn....

Jayce, love ya, but I am not on your side in this argument.

Although, Mel I think calling him and Viktor a "wise investment" in this moment is probably not the move either but still

I was slightly concerned that Jayce's flashbacks (? Would that be the right term for these) would stop once Viktor was "killed". Apparently not.

I'm happy for this turnabout.

I thought in Act 2 he reminded me of S1 Jinx and I'm pushing with that idea now.

Oh nevermind. He almost shot Viktor again.

I know it is very likely one of his followers and not actually Viktor, but damn that robot waist line lmao

Poor Mel probably has very little clue what's going on right now.

I'm distracted by Jayce's design tbh. The black and red colour scheme is sooo nice on his new look.

....

...Well that caught me off guard...

He STILL wants Jayce to be his partner WHAT :'(

"My partner died in this room." OUCH

MEL, MY GIRL!!! 👏👏👏👏

I want to be more enthusiastic for her, but she looks borderline in pain whenever she uses her magic so far :((

WHY ARE YOU PURPLE, JAYCE??

WAIT SO WAS VIKTOR WAITING TO SEE IF JAYCE WOULD JOIN HIM BEFORE STARTING THE EVOLUTION?

After last episode I legitimately, for a second, thought Silco was still alive.

He's not a nice person at all obviously, but in Jinx's hallucination he seems to sound harsher to her?

I did not need to see her spit that out up close.

Wait. It actively fell from her mouth where is it?

O W

I AM SO SCARED, JINX. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO "BREAK THE CYCLE"

Is there a reason Mel needs to wear the cloak?

"You will never be a passenger". Listen , I was actually hoping for more from my Jayce and Mel interactions. Both scenes they feel very off-kilter and standoffish of each other. A lot more tense then before (for understandable reasons considering what they both just went through) that I was hoping would start to heal.... but has'nt. However, that line hit.

I am obsessed with the designs of these background characters.

Am I missing something? Who is that playing that random piano??

I feel bad. I don't recognise him.

This entire sequence hurts.

OH. Wait I think I get the inclusion of the piano man. I hope I do otherwise I've just completely forgotten a character lol

[satorushellokittypjs]

🩵Crush!Gojo x Fem!reader🩵

•

‼️MDNI 18+‼️

•

There you were, standing in a abandoned classroom, back against the wall. How did you end up like this? Simple, someone snitched, telling your coworker, The Satoru Gojo, that you had a big crush on him. And as silly as it sounded, you thought Gojo wouldn’t care. But no, in fact, he cared quite a lot.

So here you were, a foot away from him, the man you’ve been daydreaming about at Jujutsu High for about five months now. How did you keep yourself from getting noticed thus far? Because you would discreetly stare at him every so often, talk to him normal even though your sweetness level went up a notch, and you kept your daydreams to yourself.

Until your other nosy coworker, who you thought was a decent friend, went out drinking with you and your secrets were revealed easily. Damn were you able tell the truth while drunk, you’ll never do that again.

So you stood here, your eyes softly wide when Gojo sighed and shook his head. “So you’re just like all the other women huh?” He shrugged, arms out as he sighed again. “Just can’t get enough of The Satoru Gojo?”

Even with his blindfold on, it’s insane how it feels like he’s still staring into your soul. But something sours the pit of your stomach, what does he mean by that?

“You know, i’m so used to it by now it’s quite hilarious.” He crossed his arms. “women all the time going crazy over me, trying to get me to either sleep with them, marry then, hell just get my number. It’s very hilarious actually” he began to laugh, the one that always sends you butterflies, but right now, the butterflies feel dead due to his words.

“I am pretty hot though, so i get it. But seriously, i wasn’t expecting this from you ya know? You seem better then them..or so i thought.” He shrugged yet again, he’s just so nonchalantly telling you that your pretty much like every other girl that you’re just out for his fame, money, and body. And that..that hurt.

“Gojo..i..” you began to speak, “please that’s not what i..”

Gojo slowly looked back over at you, tilting his head. “Hmm? Let me guess that’s not what you meant? You’re better then other girls?” He chuckled softly. “I’ve heard it before, y/n, you don’t have to say anything more.”

It was there that the venom struck, and yet, if you could have listened through the venom, you would have heard his own venom striking himself. For he’s never met a woman who honestly cares for him in that way.

He then shook his head, “either way, just wanted to let your mind understand, get the drama over with and what not. So, i’ll see you around, yeah? Byee~” he began to walk towards the door

“That’s not why i like you..”

He stopped in his tracks. Why were you still talking? He was confused. He said his peace, he was sure he was right. He always is.

“I like you not for your money, trust me. I don’t like you because your the strongest sorcerer, because your The Satoru Gojo. I’d like you even if you weren’t that..”

His breathing stopped. He slowly turned to show he was paying attention, yet your head was down at the floor. Your face was of different color, showing how embarrassed you were and yet..

And yet you wanna tell him your true reasoning. Maybe just maybe, he’ll believe you.

“I love how caring you are for your students, you cater to each of their needs and show them you how you care through each word and action. Your more then just a weapon, youre human. You show you have feelings, i know cause i see it, especially in your actions.”

He stayed silent, letting you finish.

“I love your laughter and smile each time you see your students succeed, when you see your friends or coworkers, your almost always in a good mood, even when youre down and out, you always try to show people your strong.”

You began to gulp softly, the room was quiet and you closed your eyes as you lifted your head. “A-and i’d be damned if i didn’t love you being you, the man that shows his love and care of people by saving the world with his own life on the line, the man that will do anything for his students, would do anything for his friends.”

You then began to ramble because now you’re just a shy mess from all your confessions, “and i like how you always buy everyone souvenirs when your off on missions, always wanting to gift people. The way you love sweets so much is quite damn adorable and—“

“Y/n..”

You froze, eyes shutting tighter and your face burning up even more. ‘Damn’, you thought, ‘i said too much’.

You suddenly feel fingers holding your chin, the sudden contact caused your eyes to shoot open. That’s when you realized he’s a few inches away.

“Gojo..i…i’m sorry i..”

“Why are you sorry.” He began to use his other hand to take off his blind fold, letting it slide down his face to hang around his neck.

In seconds you were staring into his ever crystal glowing eyes and it was like your heart and body began to feel butterflies, the kind that were alive and going crazy.

“I believe you, y/n..there no need to say any more.” He leaned in closer, lifting your chin more to look at him. “You..you are different. And for once..i was..wrong..” he chuckled soft and bitterly but more or so to himself. “You really like me that much?”

Your eyes entranced into his, all you could do was nod, but you were indeed telling the truth. Yeah your crush has grown to a full on like, even now after your own confessions you realize this.

“Heh..that’s good to know, Y/n..in fact..here.” He leaned away, getting his phone out, opening it up and giving it to you. “Put your number in, yeah? I’d like to keep in contact more.” He smiled a pure shy grin, that you could tell he was seriously shy for you.

You took his phone with a shaky hand and begun to put in your name and number. Afterwards giving it back and whispering. “Are you..blushing?”

His eyes widened and he really began to blush, his pale skin the brightest reddish pink you’ve ever seen.

“S-shut up, y/n” he began to laugh, and there it was again, and this time, the butterflies inside you burn with passion.

He then did something that made you blush, and that was leaning in and kissing your cheek ever so softly. His lips lightly feathering there, quite smooth to the touch.

“We better get going..i’ll text you later, better be prepared” he put his blindfold back up over his eyes and he waved and turned to walk away.

You blinked and quickly walked with him. “Be..prepared for what?”

He turned and stuck his tongue out, “you’ll see later~~”

[ordinaryschmuck]

Full Family AU Part 39

"I've never seen eggs made this way..." Luz said, astonished as Eda held the pan over a floating blue flame. She stood very close to the witch, up on her tiptoes to stare in awe at the flame just over the counter top, but not burning or melting it.

"That's the way of magic, kiddo," Eda said with a grin, stirring the eggs up a bit. "You can do a ton of cool stuff with it."

"Can you teach me how?!"

"Ooh, sorry, but no. Afraid that humans can't do magic. They're biologically incapable of it."

"Oh..." Luz thought for a second, drumming her fingers on the kitchen counter. "What does...by-log-ick-ally...in-camp-able mean?"

"That was a good try," Eda commented. "And it means you can never do it because you weren't born a witch. You don't got the parts to do it right."

"Aw...!" Luz whined, which earned her a gentle pat on the head from Eda.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN?!" a certain voice shrieked, causing both Eda and Luz to jump and spin around to see a frazzled Camila.

"Good morning to you too!" Eda shouted back, a little annoyed. "How do you like yer eggs, by the way? Scrambled, omlet, or--"

"YOU!" Camila ran over to the counter and ducked down to open the little door under the sink.

"We're making eggies for the puppy," Luz tried to explain as Camila tossed out pan after pan. "Also, he's not a puppy."

"That's great, Mija!" Camila shouted, not really paying attention. She then got up with a fire extinguisher in hand and aimed it at the blue flame. Eda barely had time to yank the pan away before Camila blasted foam at the fire, putting it out.

"Watch it!" Eda yelled. "You almost ruined breakfast, ya animal!"

"You're the animal!" Camila pointed the fire extinguisher at Eda in a fit of rage. "I don't know how things work in magic land, but here, WE DON'T SET KITCHENS ON FIRE!"

"Ooh, Mami!" Luz chirped, running up to Camila. "Griffins are real! And they breathe spiders! I knew they did!"

"WONDERFUL!" Camila told her, still not really hearing Luz.

At this point, Manny went up to Luz and carefully pulled her away from her mother.

"Mija, I think it's best to keep a distance from Mami for now," He said. "She looks about ready to go in for the kill."

"Unreasonably, I might add," Eda said, making Camila more furious. "It was a blue, magical flame. It radiates heat, but it don't burn or melt! Witches use it to cook all the time, like when they're out camping or if the stove's broken."

"You know at a stove is and you lit a fire instead of the perfectly good stove right there?!" Camila loudly asked, pointing at her kitchen stove for emphasis.

"I don't know how that thing works! I mean, look at that!" Eda pointed at the stove's digital clock. "What even is that?!"

"It's a clock!"

"Like nothing I've seen!"

Camila growled. "I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR--!"

"Excuse me..."

All eyes now went to the entrance of the kitchen, where Vee stood there as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and, miraculously, didn't have Manny's jacket over her shoulders.

"Why is everyone yelling?" she asked quietly. "Is everything okay...?"

Camila stared at her for a bit, the small child bringing clarity back to her mind for just a moment before glaring back at Eda again.

"I...am not happy about that fire," she admitted. "But eggs...do sound good right now and we can have them. BUT!"

Camila stomped over to Eda and yanked the pan out of her hand.

"No one cooks in this kitchen but me!" Camila declared. "Is that clear, Bruja?!"

"...Does your husband ever tell you that yer kind of hot when you're angry?" Eda smugly asked.

"I WILL SMACK YOU WITH THIS FRYING PAN, I SWEAR TO GOD!"

[gravity-falls-fanatic89]

November's Naughty and Nice Stories

Day 22: Buzzed

Stan Pines x Reader

NSFW MINORS DNI 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI 18+

"Babe, I gotta say, those socks are damn ridiculous lookin," Stan said to you, shaking his head with a grin as he tucked in his shirt.

You two were getting ready to celebrate Friendsgiving with everyone, as per your suggestion, for fun, and you had just finished getting dressed: A light grey sweater, black skirt, and knee high socks with turkey feet on them. "Well, I think they're adorable!" And you stuck your tongue out at him.

"Yeah, yeah....Whatever makes ya happy sweet cheeks. Didya get the turkey in the oven earlier?" He turned and looked at you, wearing a wine red dress shirt that exposed his chest and medallion just so, with tan slacks that hugged his ass. You blanked out for a moment to process the question, and nodded. He grinned at you. "Not now, my little minx...We got a get together to get going."

He took your hand, and you walked down the stairs to the main floor of the Shack, preparing to greet everyone. You were a few steps from the bottom, when Stan stopped you. "Gotta tie my shoe." And you waited, and before you could think, he had his hand up your skirt, and you felt something pop into your pussy.

"Stan! What the sh-?!" you whispered and hissed. He stood back up, and kissed you hard before you could protest. "Now we can get this party started." And he took your hand, as you clenched your middle, trying not to look awkward.

Everyone was there, thrilled to see you two all dressed up, and you gingerly gave out hugs and kisses, and tried to keep composure. Stan was on the other side of the room, talking to Ford, when he made eye contact with you. One hand had a drink, and the other had a little black key fob. He winked at you, and played with the fob.

And then you felt it. A low, steady vibration in your pussy that made you clench a little. That sneaky fuck. Your breath hitched a little, and Stan continued to talk as if nothing was happening. You kept yourself calm, as Melody helped you put out sides, and pretended Stan wasn't bumping up the vibrations every few minutes, watching you squirm gently.

You were in the kitchen finishing blending the mashed potatoes, when Stan came in, a shit eat grin on his face, as he came up behind you, and started kissing your neck. "Look at ya in here....Buzzing around like a little bee. I love seeing ya bein' a whole mess in front of everyone, and no one even knows." He kissed you behind your earlobe, and cupped your ass.

You both jumped a little as the bell dinged for the oven, and Stan left your side to pull the turkey out. "This looks great, babe...But not as great as you later when I strip off those clothes and make you a scream-"

"Hey, Dad? Where's the Pitt Cola?" Soos came in, breaking the tension. "We didn't see it anywhere."

"Yeah, Soos...I put it all in a cooler outside. Grab me a beer while you're out there."

Soos stepped out, and you silently thanked him. Stan's dirty talk was going to be the death of you, and he knew it. "Ya really did go all out here, Y/N. This is really nice." And you were surprised Stan switched gears so quickly. He truly was Mr. Mystery. "But you're gonna sit at the other end of the table....I want to watch your face beg for me to fuck ya later."

And you felt the vibrations crank up again with a flick of his hand. "Now, shall we go out and enjoy ourselves?" Stan said, holding the turkey, while you carried the mashed potatoes. You reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah....But the socks stay on later," and you walked out laughing, listening to Stan groan behind you.

[catastrxblues]

read more than 50 pages while i was outside today!!!!!!! where’s my trophy

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!