#i did this in 3 mins because he wanted his tablet back

[starzknight]

Izutsumi doodle on my little brother's drawingpad thingie while i wait for my flight!

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[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Eps 9-10 Recap: Switch

Hello, lovies! As you may know, I already wrote a recap/master post for episode 9, and another one for episode 10. This recap focuses just on the stuff that’s relevant to team “Switch” -- so their rehearsal period in episode 9 as well as their rehearsal footage and performance in episode 10. But you’ll have to switch to the full post first, which is my cheesy way of saying to click read more! 🙂

The Trainees Here’s a list of the trainees in this group along with their rank as of episode 8 and their two previous missions:

Kim Tae Rae 7 / Back Door -K / Man in Love

Keita 8/ Kill This Love - G / Zoom

Park Hanbin 13/ Hot Sauce - K / Law

Yoon Jong Woo 15 / Back Door - K /Home

Na Kamden 20 / Back Door - G / Law

Zhang Shuai Bo 23 / Back Door - G / Feel Special

The First Rehearsal Segment

At 31:45 of episode 9, we visit with team Switch for four whole minutes!

They start by deciding who would get the killing part, and Yoon Jong Woo says he doesn’t want it because it’s all about confidence, and he has none. Also, I kind of get the feeling that he's a little over the whole thing. Can't blame him, but I hope he shakes that off.

But you know who does want the killing part? - the formerly blue haired Park Hanbin. 

Surely, though, he won’t be able to do a good audition? He can’t learn the choreo that fast? 

But he gets up and does the killing part for his team and does it flawlessly. Better than Kamden, who has had a week to prepare. TaeRae, comparing Hanbin’s dance to the video on the tablet, says, “how much did he practice?” (We’ll come back to that in a second….) 

What happened is this:

Park Hanbin looked at the numbers. He knew his initial team, En Garde, would almost certainly lose all or most of Ji Yun Seo, Lee Ye Dam, Oh Sung Min, and Hiroto. Hanbin knew that if Hiroto or one of the other three survived elimination, then his team would have one extra trainee. They’d probably vote out Hiroto, or whoever else survived, which would mean that Park Hanbin would be stuck with his 10 seconds of subvocal 3 as his only contribution to the team. There was a vanishingly slim chance that Kum Jun Heon or Park Gunwook was going to yield the killing part to him, or that his team would award it to him from merit. So, betting on the chance that at least one of Hiroto, YunSeo, YeDam, or Sungmin would make it, Hanbin learned the choreography to Switch, while also learning the choreography to En Garde, with the plan of volunteering to switch to Switch. 

You guys, I told that story to my fella, and he was like, “that is some Rian Johnson, Knives Out, Poker Face level of machination and plot surprise,” and I was like, yeah. Accurate. 

I don’t think that Park Hanbin liked Switch better the whole time or anything like that. He asked the Star Creators to put him in En Garde. But Hanbin wanted a Killing Part, and he was willing to work twice as hard as anyone else in order to get it. 

Now, what about Kim TaeRae? I think that Hanbin and TaeRae talked about this ahead of time. Remember, they’re both with WakeOne. They auditioned together at the Star Level Test. TaeRae is a vocalist and probably relies on Hanbin to help him with choreo when needed, at the agency. Hanbin knows that TaeRae isn’t a hyper-social butterfly, nor is he hyper-audacious, pushing for the parts he wants. TaeRae somehow or another didn’t get main vocal in Backdoor. Like, what the fuck? So Hanbin knew that someone other than TaeRae was likely to end up with that juicy subvocal-1 part in Say My Name. Not great for TaeRae. But meanwhile, Hanbin also knew that TaeRae is much beloved by the Star Creators, and is an excellent singer and a decent dancer. Hanbin knew that he, Hanbin, would be able to teach anyone how to dance. He also knew that having TaeRae on his team will benefit both his team and TaeRae, because it’ll ensure that TaeRae gets a main vocal part and it’ll ensure that his team has at least one top-9 trainee and at least one trainee who can sing really well. It’s win/win/win for Hanbin, TaeRae, and their team. Also, having TaeRae on his team meant that he’d have one more chingu who would be sure to vote for him to have the killing part. And also also, since TaeRae and Hanbin are both at WakeOne, what’s good for one is good for the other, because they’re undoubtedly going to debut together eventually and their fame and future success is tied together.

Notice how TaeRae asked, “How much did he practice?” when Hanbin did the killing part -- not “how does he know this?” or “did he practice this?” TaeRae already KNEW that Hanbin had been practicing this. He was only surprised as to the extent of it. That’s further proof that they talked about this in advance. 

I love this so much, and I just love Park Hanbin. That kid is the Jeon Soyeon of this batch of trainees. I mean, not necessarily in terms of song composition or whatnot, but in terms of brilliant strategy. Whether he debuts in Bepler or not, he’s going places. 

Also, Na Kamden is just a sweet guy, isn’t he? Losing the killing part, he just says, well, Hanbin is really good. You’re good too, Kamden! This whole team is pretty strong, and this is the performance I’m actually looking forward to the most at this point. 

So here’s the part distribution -- wait, Keita is sub rapper 3? At first I thought that Keita must have been planning something, but as I watched more, I became less sure. Oh no...

Anyway, they start practicing, and the editing focuses on how TaeRae is having a little trouble learning the choreo. It's! Shocking! That a Main Vocal! Would have a little trouble! Learning choreo!!!! 

Even his hair won't cooperate. Don’t worry. He has Hanbin there to beat the steps into him! 

Now, let’s skip to 30:00 in to Episode 10.  It’s D-Day and the boys come out on stage, all dressed in super bright colors.

Key asks Hanbin about rehearsal, and we jump back to the team’s first meeting with the psychopath dance teacher. We’re reminded of how the team ended up together, and the dance teacher says that this is a good team, with several trainees who got a good result in the second challenge mission -- Hanbin came in first for Law, TaeRae came in first for Man in Love , JongWoo came in first for Home, and Keita came in first for Zoom. 

But their dancing isn’t perfect, how dare they not be perfect after like 12 hours of rehearsal?

Especially TaeRae, who at some points didn’t dance at all but just sort of walked because he is a VOCAL and was going to be SINGING at that point. (1) Aren’t they allowed to adjust the choreo? Isn’t that part of the assignment? And (2) Let me get this straight, you fucking psychopath -- you want TaeRae to be dancing “powerfully” WHILE HITTING THE B ABOVE MIDDLE C? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? That’s several notes higher than that high F# they made the boys hit in Na BiNa. This is fucking falsetto territory, and you want him to dance “powerfully” AT THE SAME TIME? I hate these dance teachers so much sometimes. Human beings have human bodies. Jesus Christ. This is why singing in Kpop is going down the drain -- because they want people to dance “powerfully” while hitting B4. 

The judge guy actually helps a bit (shocker, right?) by suggesting a modification for the choreo for TaeRae, but TaeRae doesn’t understand, so he makes him do it over and over like 19 times before getting off his lazy evil ass and showing him. 

That night, Hanbin asks Keita why Keita didn’t go for a bigger rapping part…

Hey, I know what you readers like. 

… and Keita says, “I don’t have any energy left.” Keita interviews that he’s lost a lot of confidence. Oh no, Keita!! Oh NO!!!!  

Back at rehearsal, Na Kamden, who is really a good guy, hands over leadership to Park Hanbin, because he thinks -- no, he KNOWS -- that Hanbin will do a better job. Everyone at home is like, “wait, Hanbin wasn’t already the leader?” 

They work on the dance, both the big picture and the details, sometimes over and over and over. 

Then, like the fucking genius and sweetheart that Hanbin is, he gets Keita involved in fixing up the choreo, which does two things: (1) re-energizes Keita and (2) utilizes their resources! Yes. 

Just a little nudge from a friend seems to spur Keita back into action, and soon they’re all involved, all dancing. 

40:30 The Performance

So we skip to D-day. 

The judges are looking over the stage, which is set up to look a bit like an arcade, with bright day-glow colors. There’s an elevator door that is going up to the 9th floor -- referencing their desire to go up to the top9. 

Out in the audience, Wumuti is spoiling it to the audience that the concept of the performance is that the boys are stuck in a video game world. The fact that he knows that is an indication of how much of the performance was determined by the boys who were in each group before The Great Reshuffling. This implies that a lot of the stuff the various teams are doing might be the result of the hard work of trainees who aren’t in that group anymore. This is all really messed up, MNET. 

And the boys come out on stage to perform. It’s time!

My Take:

I know I’ll be in the minority here, but I actually like this song. I know, I know. But listen to the studio recording of it and maybe it'll grow on you. It's like a weird NCT song mated with a Black Pink song and had a child that mostly took after its father. But I'm fine with that. I also really liked the dance practice. I feel like I can focus more on how good their dancing is -- especially Yoon JongWoo, who is wearing white here, and seems to be trying his best to remind us that he would have been fucking fantastic in Over Me. They look like they’re having fun, like I just sort of want to jump up and join them dancing. They just have good chemistry and seem like friends. It’s one of those things that makes Twice so fun to watch, is the feeling that you’re watching a group of friends having fun rather than a group of coworkers forced to work together.

As for the Stage Performance: 

Overall, they do a great job. I wish we saw more of Keita, and I wish the camera work and outfits let us more easily see their dancing, but it was a cute, fun, lively performance. I don't have a ton to say about it, but I enjoyed it. Hanbin was the standout for me in the live performance -- though I'm telling you, Yoon Jongwoo stands out in the dance practice I linked above, and I think he would have stood out a lot live as well. Kamden, Keita, and Z-Bo did well too. I thought it was all really cute and cheerful.

TaeRae’s live vocals sounded great, because I love his vocal color, but still, they are just a bit shaky here and there. I hope he gets some more vocal training because he really could be great. Baekyhun wasn’t perfect when he debuted either and with more time, he has better learned how to control that powerful instrument he was born with. TaeRae needs to work on his mix, and his agility, but I know he can get there. 

Afterwards, we find out that Zhang Shuai Bo got the lowest score, with an obviously punitive 402 points. You and I and he and all the other trainees know that this is the audience punishing Z-Bo for his “bad behavior” in earlier episodes, and I’m really sad for him, actually. I’ve come around to him -- yeah, it wasn’t cool to be passive aggressive with Solji, or to leave Woongki to sing the whole chorus by himself. Not cool, Z-Bo. But on further review of the situation, I think I was wrong to think that Z-Bo was being rude to Woongki in general -- Woongki has no animosity toward Z-Bo, so why should I? Plus, Z-Bo did a good job in his Switch performance and didn’t deserve such a low score. This was actually the first time that I really understood why some people are big fans of his -- he looked great on stage, actually! The dumb hair extensions really worked, the ugly pants looked good on him, I don’t know, he made it all work. But he seems resigned to his fate. 

Who came in first? Well, obviously Park Hanbin, with 741 points. 

This is his third straight time coming in first in the mission.

He’s slightly less amazed each time it happens.

He interviews that he’s starting to gain confidence. Well, I should hope so, lovey! 

That brings us pretty much to the end of this recap, but I do want to say that if you like slightly weird kpop songs, give Switch another try, ok? Listen to the official studio audio and use headphones. It’s actually a pretty cool song. It’s ok if it’s not your thing, I totally respect that, but I think the live performances on this show are consistently hampered by a poor mix -- the vocals stand out like it’s karaoke, and that’s not great for your overall enjoyment of the song. So it really can’t hurt to just give the song another try when you can really hear all the cool touches on the low and high ends. I’ve come to really like it. 

And that’s really the end! 

See you in the next one, lovies! It's Say My Name .

[lovesaadiqa]

the unthethered soul

this book is one that keeps on giving or growing me i should say. my second time reading it helped me realized the different spaces i was in before and now. i seldom go back and read my entries, its kinda of cringe for me especially when i don't see in growth from one post to another, stagnation makes me sad. anyway i cried alot the first time i read this book and this time im highlighting like hell. just to catch me up, ive been driving over the road for 5 months now, initially soothing myself with music, empty conversation from random people and as dangerous as it sounds, tv, movies and murder mysteries. the last 30 days has been silent asf on my truck, no nothing! the window down and my thoughts. i gave the book another go round but ive been applying what im reading and this shit is no joke! ive learned how to know when im in the seat of self, how to be aware of my awareness, how to watch my emotions form, how to disconnect from what im seeing and pay attention to how whatever it is im seeing is making me feel. amateur at best but today was another monster and i can see how i definitely will need my awareness to grow and how consistency will play a major role in how fast i can find my freedom.

its 4th of july, no the weekend, the literal day. i'd been driving for 4 hours and go to my receiver super early because when i started my route i forgot the time zone was going to change. i arrived at 1:30 cst and am told the ppl who unload me was changing shifts and i'd have to wait until 3:45.. there's no pressure but its hard asf to find parking in general but especially on a holiday or weekend so idgaf about nothing but finding parking because im less than 1/2 mile aware from a flying j and dont wanna have to get back on the highway to find parking. i get back in my truck, eat and get on social media. i can feel someone unloading me but it's nowhere near 3:45 so i grab my paperwork and march my ass inside hype like "yes, imma be outta here soon" i get in a realize it was an over zealous worker who came in early for holiday pay (i'd still have to wait for my paperwork to get signed). someone shows up in the office right at 3:45 and im told they have to count and verify my freight which would be at least 30-45 more mins. im ok with that because my appt time wasn't until 5pm and im already unloaded before 4. it's gets dumb tricky because im notified im counted and good to go, i get inside and the guy who is to give me my papers says i have to pay a lumper fee. i've never in all my months had to pay a lumper fee, in fact i don't know wtf that is so i call my dm and I get Matt (he's a rude sob and hate hearing his damn voice) who tells me i have to send a message form. i do as im told but get a reference number on my tablet that says give this to the ppl inside to pay, i get inside give them the code and they tell me to put it in the payment slot on the text they sent (in my head im screaming "what fucking text") -- fuck the rest of the story

as im walking back and forth from my truck to the receiver i can feel the agitation building, my responses are on the rude side, i can hear my consciousness forewarning me that im getting heated. i tried to feel what was happening inside of me as im also trying to remain professional. i tell myself that im only frustated because i dont think im going to be able to find parking, im losing it becasue wtf is a lumper fee and wtf you mean i have to pay it, what text did you send me on top of hearing "western express this is Matt" lmmfaooooo. i get to the fucking gate to leave and the bitch gone say "can you pull all the way up im pregnant and i dont feel like walking to the back of your trailer. i legit wanted to run her tf over because bitch you at work and pregnant ppl arent handicapped HOT!!!! In the time it took me to tell myself to calm and actually calming down i ran a stop sign and drove past the flying j entrance.

then i get to my lil to do list and im supposed to read a chapter: Removing Your Inner Thorn (im literally fighting back tears writing this) the second fucking sentence "In order to grow, you must give up the struggle to remain the same, and learn to embrace change at all time" ATE ME TF UP! Im not the same because now i have the awareness to spot, feel and identify my emotions before they have me in a chokehold. knowing all that i still copped an attitude and let them run me. this chapter talks about have a literal thorn piercing a nerve and the options you have to avoid the pain. first option is to avoid anything that will touch, bother, graze, tap, irritate your torn.. second option, remove the fucking thorn all together! a few lines that made me legit get my laptop, come into the pilot and write this entire entry: if you decide you have to keep things from touching the thorn, then that becomes the work of a lifetime; the life of protecting yourself from the problem becomes a perfect reflection of the problem itself; you can actually fell that because you've minimized the pain of the problem, you've solved the problem.. all you did was devote your life to avoiding it; the problem will be back the moment the external situation fails to protect you from what's inside; you are not the pain you feel; the thorns naturally work themselves out if you stop protecting them; you do no get rid of loneliness (or any thorn sadness, depression, anxiety, short temper, a broken heart, abdandonment) you just cease to be involved with it, it just another thing in the universerse like cars, glass or the stars.

i cant began to explain how i did the work and then read the book. there is no joy like getting it. i understand now. im praying for more situations to arise so i can better at this and win inner peace for myself. the ultimate goal for me is to sit in the seat of self and remain there.. i just know with my whole heart i will read this book until the cover falls off because it is a complete guide to spiritual freedom, in my opinion. i have about 6 books on my truck right now and this one is the most got a second read before i finished any of the other one for a first time. im happy to be here. in this space, with this awareness and the understanding of what to do with it and how if benefits me. i will get so fucking good at this!!

i hope when you come back to read this it wont be cringe babygirl. i wish you nothing but healing and total well being. to think that coming face to face with a pain that made you know want to wake up no more got you here is nothing but God's love for you. its so important to realize that it was all necessary! forgive, relax and release Saadiqa but most importantly remain thank for it all. equipped with the know-how to watch your thoughts and detach from them should make this journey so fucking delicious. you are awareness and EVERTHING else is an object of your consciousness. the feelings, the thoughts that get stuck on repeat, other people, aging, your body.. all of it. just a thing/things you've become aware of, they are not you. never, ever, ever forget that. leaving the seat of self is such a massive step down that some people do it for a single thing and they're never able to return again. that is the prize, the gift of a life lived. Chapter 8 over and over and over and over again!!!! please get this Saadiqa it is my life's wish for you NEVER STEP DOWN!

[the-bau-quinjet]

Secret's Out

Summary: Request! Reid and Y/N are secretly dating, but their business doesn't stay their business for long.

Warnings: Criminal Minds level violence

Word Count: 2974

a/n: Thank you for the request! I hope you like it :)

Sorry this took forever! It took me a while to think of case details that I liked and then I kept rewriting parts. I think I'm finally happy with it though!

Masterlist

"Spencer!" You pushed him away. "The doors could open at any moment! How are we supposed to keep this a secret if Morgan walks in on us kissing in the elevator?" You raised a brow at him.

"On average, elevators travel at a speed of 200 ft/min or about 4 seconds per floor. Being on the fifth floor means we have about 20 seconds to ourselves." He smiled triumphantly.

"Yeah, until someone surprises us on floor 3." You rolled your eyes, stepping out of the doors once they opened.

"I can't help it. I'm just... really happy with you." He whispered softly.

"I'm really happy too." You smiled at him. You were about to lean in when the elevator doors opened once again to reveal JJ and Emily.

"Hey guys, ready for another case?" Emily glanced between you suspiciously, but thankfully didn't ask any prying questions.

"Yep, let's go!" You turned quickly, walking into the round table room without so much as a glance back at the three agents by the elevator.

"What's with her?" JJ questioned.

"Said she didn't sleep well last night. Must be all the caffeine." He held his own cup off coffee up in solidarity before also walking to the round table room.

"Alright, we've got 3 dead in Billings, Montana. All three were law enforcement, and all three were found this morning around the city." You listened as Penelope introduced the details of the case.

"Could be someone who feels the police didn't do a good enough job protecting a loved one?" You threw out a theory.

"Or someone who feels wronged by the criminal justice system as a whole." Rossi added on.

"Either way, they likely won't stop until we catch them. Wheels up in 20." Hotch rose from his seat as he spoke, wasting no time in preparing for take off.

You all dispersed briefly to grab your go bags, meeting back at the SUVs to head to the jet.

Once boarded, it didn't take long for the conversation to start up again.

"When we land, L/N go to the morgue. Dave, Prentiss take the first and second crime scenes, they're only a mile apart. Morgan and Reid, check out the third scene. I'll head to the precinct with JJ."

With Hotch's instructions set, you took what little time you had left on the flight to go over the causes of death.

-

"Anything stand out to you on the bodies?" You asked the ME after going over the blunt force trauma and bullet wounds.

"There's tape residue and bruising on the wrists and ankles. Based on the state of bruising, they were likely held for about 3 days before they were killed."

"Thank you for your help." You shook hands, pulling out your phone to call Hotch.

"Hotchner."

"Hotch, they were held for days before they were killed. How did nobody notice they were missing?" There was nothing in the reports that indicated the victims were reported missing prior to being found.

"We just found the same pattern. They all used vacation days for various reasons in the days leading up to their deaths. Meet us back at the precinct and Reid can explain the whole pattern."

"Okay, I'm leaving now." You hung up just as you reached the SUV. Throughout the drive, you couldn't stop thinking that something wasn't adding up.

The victims were taken in the same day. It didn't make sense for the unsub not to escalate. So, why aren't any officers unaccounted for?

Suddenly, a truck crashed into your SUV, sending you flying off the road. A figure dressed in black opened the door and dragged you from the car.

"Agent L/N, it's so good to see you again." A male voice spoke, but you couldn't place it.

He hit you over the head with a handgun before dragging you to his own vehicle.

-

"Where's L/N?" Emily questioned when her and Rossi returned from the second dumpsite.

"On her way back from the ME." Hotch answered. "Did you find anything useful?"

"They truly are dumpsites. Both bodies were found by dumpsters, sending a pretty clear message." Dave replied.

"Same for the third site." Derek added on.

"All three victims were single and took time off leading up to their death. Nobody would've notice that they were missing until it was too late." Reid supplied the final bit of information gathered.

Hotch's phone rang before anyone else could comment. The frantic sound of Garcia's nails clicking against her keyboard echoed through the phone. She was talking before anyone could greet her.

"You need to see this, check your tablets."

Confused glances were exchanged as everyone, barring Reid, opened their tablets. Reid glanced over Morgan's shoulder to observe as well.

A seemingly live video that Garcia received a link to was streaming to the tablets.

A single woman sitting in a chair could be seen in the frame. Her wrists and ankles were bound to the chair with thick, gray tape and a bag was over her head.

"Garcia, what is this?" Hotch asked almost immediately.

"I was emailed the link just now. It's not streaming anywhere else online." Her reply came quickly, the sound of typing still filling in the silence.

"Can you trace it?" Rossi questioned.

"I'm trying, but it's being routed through multiple proxy servers."

"Did the email say anything?" Emily chimed in.

"No, it was just the link- Wait. I just got another email." She paused as the new email loaded. "It's addressed to Reid."

Every set of eyes in the room turned to Reid.

"What does it say?" He felt the nerves beginning to grow waiting for Garcia to read the words aloud.

"Dr. Reid,

I hope you remember me. What am I saying, of course you do. I've got something of yours that you might want back. You see Dr. Reid, you and your team ruined me. My family, my career, all of it, just gone. I thought I'd return the favor. A person's phone can be so informative. Tell me, does your team know about your girlfriend? I've so enjoyed getting reacquainted with her.

Happy hunting."

Spencer's face went white as he looked at Morgan's tablet again. His thoughts were racing. How did he not recognize you before? Even with the bag over your head, he should've known it was you.

"It's her." His words were barely a whisper.

"This is your girlfriend?" Morgan gestured to the screen again. Spencer could only nod in reply, his mind unable to focus on anything except you.

"Reid, listen to me. You've got to tell us everything you know about her. We'll have to split up. You can go back to Quantico with Emily and Morgan, the rest of us will stay here to work on our current case." Hotch was already devising a strategy to work both cases.

"There's no need." His words made sense to him, but sounded cryptic to the rest of the team.

"Kid, of course there is. We'll help you get her back." Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively shocking him back to the present situation.

"There's no need to split up because she's here. She's in Montana." Before he could continue, everyone was asking questions.

"Give me a phone number and I'll get you a location." Garcia was already typing away again.

"Are you sure she's here?" JJ's brows furrowed. She did her best to hide the hurt of her best friend hiding his girlfriend from her, again.

"Why would she be here?" Rossi added.

"How did she get here? Maybe we can track the transportation and figure out means of abduction." Emily was the only one thinking about the case.

Like ripping off a bandaid, Spencer blurted out the truth.

"It's Y/N."

He was met with silence in the room as everyone absorbed the information.

Garcia caught up first, a sudden gasp sounding through the phone.

"So, then that's Y/N... in the video..." Her voice wavered.

As if a switch was flipped, the team was back on the case.

"Garcia, get me a list of anyone who would have a grievance with the team." Hotch ordered.

"Go through anyone who was falsely accused. Start with cases in or around Montana. He would want to keep this close to home." Rossi specified.

"We've only had one case in Montana since Y/N joined the team." Reid supplied the knowledge as it came to him. "A name, I need a name." He muttered to himself, pulling his hair as he roughly ran his hands through it and over his face. "Garcia, look into Jameson Braddock."

"Got it." She immediately began a background check, searching through case files and news articles for additional information. "i'll get back to you with locations." With that, she hung up.

"Fill us in, kid. Who is Jameson Braddock." Morgan lead Reid to a chair, gently easing him into it.

"Our last case in Montana, Emily and I went to interview a witness." Emily nodded, the memories slowly coming back to her.

"He wasn't very forthcoming, and then he tried to run." She added on.

"Exactly, except he didn't make it very fair. We arrested him, but it turned out he was only guilty of selling alcohol to minors. When word of his arrest got out, the whole town thought it was for the serial rapes and murders we were investigating even though it was never confirmed."

"By the time we corrected the media, it was too late." JJ supplied, also remembering the man.

"So, he killed three officers just to draw us out back out here?" Morgan refocused the conversation on the current case.

"It looks that way now. The media knew we were coming, so he must have as well." Emily theororized. "If he followed us from the airport, he would've seen Y/N leave by herself."

"He likely didn't know about your relationship until he abducted her and went through her phone." Hotch paced the room.

"He's flaunting his power over us." Rossi chimed in just as Hotch's phone rang again.

"Garcia, what've you got?"

"Three addresses in Billings, Montana. Jameson Braddock has been on a downward spiral since your last trip there. His entire life fell apart, like he said. Divorced, his wife moved to Nebraska with their two kids. He lost his job at the high school, and was evicted from his house when he could no longer pay the bills." She listed the information quickly.

"He has ties to three addresses. Nobody has moved into his previous house, so it's vacant. He's got a small apartment in the northern part of the city which he pays for through working odd hours at Taco Bell. Finally, he briefly worked security at a now abandoned warehouse."

"An apartment wouldn't be enough space to hold her without the chance of someone hearing. She's not there." Rossi eliminated the location as an option.

"We'll split up to cover the warehouse and the house-" Hotch began, but Reid cut him off.

"No, we shouldn't split up. She's got to be at the house. The warehouse has no connection to his previous life. He wants revenge for our perceived wrongdoing, he wouldn't make his last stand at a new location." Reid was already putting on a bullet proof vest. Despite how his mind was racing, he refused to show how afraid he was.

"You're sure?" Morgan asked, on the fence about committing to one location.

"Absolutely." With that, Reid was out the door heading for the SUVs.

-

"Rossi, Emily head around back. I'll take the front with Reid. JJ and Morgan, the side door." Hotch instructed the team to split up upon arrival at the house.

Reid wasted no time in approaching the house. He was confident you were inside, but he didn't know what was happening to you.

The main floor was cleared quickly. Again, the team split up to cover the upper level and the basement.

Knowing you were likely downstairs, Reid immediately started that direction, JJ and Hotch following him.

It wasn't hard for him to find you. You were still tied to the chair in the middle of the room, bag over your head.

Before anyone could stop him, Reid lowered his gun and ran to you. He gently maneuvered the bag off your head, stopping his movements only when he felt something press into his back.

"Dr. Reid. So kind of you to join us." Braddock spoke maniacally, pressing the gun against Reid's head.

"Drop your weapon." Hotch commanded, but the man only cackled in response.

'Y/N... Y/N." Reid gently shook you in an attempt to wake you up.

"She can't hear you." Braddock singsonged.

"What did you do?" Reid tried to turn to him only to feel the gun press further into his head.

"Like I said in my email, you people ruined my life. They took everything from me, so I thought I'd try to return the favor." During his short speech, Braddock shifted just enough for JJ to get a clean shot.

He fell to the ground, gun clattering across the floor.

Reid moved quickly to remove the tape binding you to the chair while Hotch called for a medic in the basement.

The entire team watched as you were wheeled into the ambulance, still unconscious, none more scared than Spencer.

-

"She's going to be fine, Spence." JJ tried to reassure him, nonetheless his pacing continued.

"You don't know that. We don't even know what he did to her." He had one hand anxiously running through his hair, the other pinching the bridge of his nose in distress.

Just then, a doctor emerged from behind closed doors.

"F/N L/N." She called into the waiting room, slightly taken aback when the group of agents rushed to her.

"It was touch and go for a while, but she got here just in time." It was visible to even the least qualified profiler how relieved the team felt. Their previously tense shoulders relaxed, frowns turned to small smiles, wide eyes and raised brows pinched together with joy.

"What happened?" Emily posed the question everyone was thinking.

"In short, she was drugged. It's not clear what exactly was used, but it was likely a mix of drugs that attempted to stop her heart."

"Can we see her?" Morgan spoke next, cautiously eyeing Reid.

"You may, follow me." The doctor lead them through a series of hallways to your room. "She should be waking up soon."

With that the doctor left, allowing the team to file into the room. You looked strangely peaceful for someone who almost died.

"So..." JJ glanced between you and Spencer. "Girlfriend, huh?"

His eyes went wide. Instinctively, he turned to you for help, but you were still asleep. He opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out.

"Relax, kid." Morgan grinned. "We're happy as long as you two are happy."

Spencer smiled gratefully, looking at you with an adoring gaze. "We are happy."

"How long?' Emily gestured to your joined hands. Just before Spencer could answer, you groaned.

"I want to hear your guesses first." Your voice was raspy, but there was a clear smile on your face. "Also, what happened?"

The quickly explained the email Garcia received and the events that followed.

"Now that that's cleared up, do tell us how long you think we've been together. I know you've got a bet going." You narrowed your eyes, playfully glaring at each team member.

"4 months." Hotch begrudgingly admitted. JJ followed with 3 months, Derek and Rossi both betting 10 weeks, and Emily going with 6 weeks.

"Ha, you're all wrong." You smiled triumphantly, leaning closer to Spencer.

"Wait, we haven't heard from Garcia." Derek smirked as he rung her on speaker phone.

"Oh, my beautiful crime fighters. Y/N, are you okay?" Your smile widened at the concern in her voice.

"I am indeed, but I have a very important question for you." You glanced as Spencer briefly before continuing. "How long do you think Spence and I have been together?"

"Oh, I know this one!" Her excitement caught everyone but you off guard. "7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days."

Spencer's jaw dropped as he stuttered out, "that's exactly right..."

"How'd you figure it out?" The group of profilers wore matching expressions of surprise as Penelope explained.

"Well, we had just finished testifying in the Bigelow trial. The whole team went out for drinks, and I could just see it in Y/N's eyes the next day that something wonderful happened. At first I just thought that she got some, but then I saw her and the good doctor in the kitchen getting coffee and I knew." Penelope's voice held a mixture of smugness and pure excitement.

"Babygirl, you didn't tell me?" Derek sounded genuinely offended.

"Y/N asked me not to." Even though you couldn't see her, you knew she punctuated the statement with a shrug.

"You knew, she knew?" Spencer turned to you in shock.

You nodded. "I could see it on her face the second I walked out of the kitchen. But she promised not to tell, so I didn't either."

"The two of you, thick as thieves." Rossi lamented.

"I love you so much." Spencer whispered into your ear as he pulled you in for a hug.

"I love you too." You whispered right back.

"Honestly, I'm glad the secret's out." You smiled at Spencer before looking at the rest of the team. "Although, I wish I didn't have to be kidnapped to tell you."

You spent a few more hours in the hospital before being cleared to go back to the hotel.

The next morning, you smiled to yourself as you were finally able to cuddle with Spencer during the flight home.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

@sebastnstn

Criminal Minds taglist:

@mac99martin

@goldeng1rl8

@measure-in-pain

[futurebicon]

No Control Part 3

Julian is nonbinary in this fic and I think they will be in all of my fics from now on even though in my original NB Jules fic they came out when they were older.

I wrote this in 4 hours. Kinda proud. I might try and stay up late and get the next part written tonight if at all possible. (No idea how many parts this will be) I've finally used this tablet enough so that the keyboard is a decent speed.

Warning- hospital, injury, not really panic attack but being in shock, no medical knowledge

"Hey Captain No Spleen." James smirked.

Sirius smiled back but was quickly overwhelmed by all the greetings.

"How are you feeling, min fils?" Dumo asked.

Sirius looked at Remus. The words Dumo just said formed slightly over his lips, hoping the movement brought recognition of the meaning to his mind. He shook his head as it failed to remember. "Re" he whispered inaudibly.

Remus nodded and soothed back his hair. "It's okay."

"He's having some trouble understanding what people are saying. It takes a while for his mind to process the words and with his amnesia he sometimes doesn't remember what the words mean." He explained.

"That'll go away, right?" Kasey asked.

"Yeah." Remus nodded. "Once his mind heals more or once the shock of it wears off."

"Logan?" Sirius spoke. Everyone was obviously shocked by how small his voice sounded.

"He's okay." James told him.

'Slow' Remus mouthed as Sirius blinked in confusion.

"He's okay." James repeated slowly. "Leo and Finn are with him. He's resting."

Sirius nodded in understanding.

"He was worried about you." Thomas told him.

"Good" Sirius smirked with his eyes closed.

"That's a bit rude, spleenless." James shook his head with a smile. All of them glad to see some sign of their Captain.

"How- how-" Sirius struggled.

"How what, baby?"

"When-" He groaned.

"Is it about Logan?"

"No" he gritted out forcefully.

"It's okay. Just take your time, love."

"Other- when- can't think-" Sirius hit the bed in frustration. "Can't think."

"Hey, hey, shh." Remus took his hand. "It's okay. It's okay. I know it must be frustrating but it's okay. Just breathe love and then take your time."

"Other- car" he said a minute later after trying to form the right words.

"What happened to the other car?" Dumo tried when Sirius didn't say anything else.

"Yes" Sirius breathed in relief that someone understood.

"Oh, um. They think it was a hit and run."

'Hit and run' Sirius mouthed.

"It means that the driver hit your car and then drove off." Remus explained.

"Why- did- would-"

"We don't know but the police are investigating." James told him.

"Oh. Have- talk to-"

"You don't have to talk to them now, but once you're better you might. Logan told them what happened earlier." Remus assured him.

"Oh-kay" he sounded out.

Anymore conversation was cut off by the door opening.

"Hey Cap." Finn smiled tiredly as Leo and him walked into the room.

"What happened? Where's Logan?" Dumo asked.

"He's fine" Finn told him "Kicked us out so he could sleep and they could run tests."

"You okay, Knut?" Remus noticed Leos cornered animal appearance.

"Hm? Oh. I'm okay." He darted his eyes down when he made eye contact.

"Think I'm just tired." His voice was a quiet and slurred mutter.

"Here. No one sit." Kuny had stood up from his chair, knowing Leo was too dazed to notice.

'Thank you' Finn mouthed as Leo sat down. Serigi moved so Finn could sit beside him.

"Le- okay?" Sirius asked.

Finn gave him a confused look before Remus retold what was going on.

"Oh. Yeah. I think he's just in shock still." He said slow for Sirius. "He was weird with Logan when we first saw him. Said he was scared to hurt him. I'm pretty sure he just needs sleep."

"Hey that news place they were going to do the interview for just tweeted. 'Due to irresponsible time management, childish pranking, or just plain laziness, Logan Trembley and Sirius Black did not show up for their interview today. Apologize to all who were anxiously awaiting to read it.'" James read the post.

"So no one told anyone?" Kasey asked.

"I have a picture of the car that the police gave us." Finn smirked. "Should I log in to the teams account and retweet their post?"

"Do it." Everyone told him to.

"Coach said do it." Kasey read his reply. "He said the league hasn't responded to anything he has told them and hasn't even heard anything he told them. So this should get enough of their attention."

"What do I say?" Finn asked. "Just 'Here's why'?"

"Make sure to say that they're alive" Dumo told him.

"Re" Sirius hit Remus's arm. "Too many- go slower- want to know."

"Guys." Remus said loud enough for everyone to stop talking. "Slow down, one at a time." He nodded towards Sirius.

"Sorry" Sirius muttered and looked down. Like he was ashamed that he couldn't process what they were saying.

"It's okay." Dumo shook his head.

"The interview you were going to posted something petty about how you weren't there." Remus explained. "Finn is going to post a picture of the crash because we're also petty."

Sirius smiled at the words. "League don't-"

"Coach is trying to tell them but they won't listen."

"Now they will." James wiggled his eyebrows.

Finn cleared his throat dramatically, making Sirius smile and Leo giggle, before reading what he had typed like he was reading a message from the king.

"Sirius Black and Logan Trembly would of loved to do the interview, but because of someone elses inability to read a speedometer, stop at a red light, and not drive away after hitting a car, they were unable to. They would be estatic to sit down and have a nice chat once they are out of the hospital. We are sorry to anyone anxiously awaiting to see them play next week. Due to a punctured lung, bruised heart, broken ribs, damaged kidney, brain damage, a broken leg, severe whiplash, and a missing organ, they won't be able to make it to the game. Thank you for your understanding and please drive safe."

"Perfect" James laughed.

"And.... posted." Finn pressed the post button dramatically.

"Oh fuck." Remus turned serious. "Did any of us tell families about this?"

"Nope. Shit." Finn pulled his phone back out of his pocket. "I'll go call Lo's parents." He kissed Leo.

"Call mine too?" The happiness that ghosted Leos face when Finn was being dramatic had left him emotionless again.

"Of course, baby." Finn kissed him again and left the room.

"Tell- parents?" Sirius looked at Remus.

"I'll tell them." Remus nodded.

"We'll go." Dumo said.

"I probably should answer my parents." James held up his phone.

"Noelle's gonna murder me." Talker whined as his rang.

The team trickled out till it was just Sirius and Remus.

"Remus?" Hope answered the phone. "We saw what was posted. Is he alright?"

"He's okay, mom." Remus assured her.

"Oh thank god." Lyall breathed.

Sirius smiled at their reactions to him being okay.

"Can I talk to him?" Jules asked.

"Yeah he's right here bu-"

They cut him off. Going a million miles an hour.

Sirius gave Remus a pleading look because he loved Jules and he knew that they talked like this but right now Sirius needed them to slow down.

"Jules- Jules." Remus tried to stop his sibling. "Slow down. Let me talk first."

Remus heard his parents quiet them.

"Sirius is having some trouble understanding what people are saying. It takes a while for his mind to process the words and he also has some very slight amnesia that's making it a little hard for him to remember what some words mean. So when you talk just talk slowly like I am and you're going to have to make sure you talk clearly, especially through the phone."

"Why can't he understand the words?" Jules had slowed down but their slow was other peoples normal.

"Slower, kiddo. He hit his head pretty hard in the accident, like a really bad concussion. He also has some trouble talking and remembering words."

"Ohhh" Jules dragged out the word.

How are you feeling, Sirius?" Hope asked, speaking perfectly.

"I'm- good." Sirius told her.

"What injures are yours?" Jules sounded out each sylible.

"Can talk- faster-." Sirius laughed, trying hard to talk well.

"From Finns list and the doctors he was, broken leg, whiplash, brain injury, punctured lung, broken rib, and his spleen was ruptured in the crash and had to be removed but spleens aren't too necessary apparently."

"You don't have an organ?" Jules asked in awe.

"Nope" Sirius laughed.

"Well we'll leave you to get better." Hope said. "Don't be surprised if we show up in the next few days." They said their goodbyes loudly.

+++

"Okay?" Sirius asked when Leo walked in an hour later.

"Logan, uh, Logan had to go into surgery." he put his hands in the pockets of his, possibly Logans or maybe Finns, sweatshirt and bunched it up as he rocked on his heels.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Misdiagnosed his heart and it was actually more serious than just a bruise. It was actually a tear or some-something. He- he flatlined while we were up there."

Cliffhanger I'm sorry

It's only gonna get angstier

@lumosinlove

[sheepdog-and-fakegoldenretriever]

Fuck just did the stupidest thing with the dogs.

Just got home from work as thunder starts. They're both excited/freaking out.

Bailey needs her pain relief. Cut up some chicken, winston gets a greenie - adds excitement. Bailey cannot have a greenie due to tooth extraction but she gets one routinely with winston every night. She looks for one as I get her tablet.

Still thundering.

Bailey finishes her food but winston hasn't touched his greenie.

I pick it up to prevent guarding.

Put it down and he eats it

Great, I'll pop outside to see dad and give him a drink I bought when out.

Winston got up wanting to follow me outside. Must have left his greenie.

Hear thunder when outside. Then hear dogs barking really Hugh pitch.

RUN back inside cos I think they're fighting over greenie. Everyone is calm and ok???? UNTILL I see Bailey with Winstons greenie....

Wins ok but stressed.

Bailey came in after eating greenie and she has a cut on her face 😳

It's fine but I'll need to watch it cos it's on her lower eyelid.

Dumbest fucking idiot right now. I should have never left them alone with the greenie even for 3 mins. I knew I was making the wrong decision but did it anyway?

Is this my brain working 9 days in a row with 1 day off fucking with me? Probably because I'm not thinking.

Thank fuck bailey is on pain relief.

[massivelycreepypineapple]

Their Perfect Little Family

Request: Ahhhhh! So I am a regular reader on Tumblr & found your blog today! Your writing is beautiful and I loved it soooo much! And that surgeon Jensen fluff story? Omg❤️ I was curious if you can write gynac Jensen where it's his wife's delivery and he is her gynac and their whole 9 months journey? Like just small parts for everything, Injections, sonograms, cravings, sickness? Make it as a 3-4 parts series if you want or some small bits in a single one shot. Also please write if it's not too much ❤️

Pairing: Gynac!Jensen Ackles x Fem!Reader

Warning: So much FLUFF. Be warned guys! It’s sickening. One or two bad jokes too but I'm not sorry. 

A/N: I actually had a lot of fun writing this one. I learnt a lot about pregnancies and gynaecologists caz of all the research I did, which is why it took so long for me to get this out. Sorry bout that! 

Feedback is always appreciated, y’all!

Word Count: 3987 (oops! hehe)

❅ ❅ ❅

Being married to one of the best ob-gyn in the country definitely had its perks. It sure got Y/N a wonderful penthouse that was on the 25th floor, a balcony with a killer view and a lifestyle that was definitely not bad. It wasn’t that she needed this to be happy, but it sure didn’t hurt. But the biggest perk of all was the comfort Y/N took in knowing that she and her baby were in safe hands with her husband. 

It was only yesterday when she found out that she was pregnant. It wasn’t that she and Jensen were trying for a baby. The irony wasn’t lost on her. He delivered so many babies but they never talked about having one themselves. But that didn’t stop her from feeling joy at the prospect of being a mother. At the same time, to say that she was nervous of his reaction was an understatement. So when Jensen came home that night, she lost her nerve and decided to find a better way to tell him. 

Which is why the next day she found herself at the hospital where he works and asked the receptionist for an appointment with him. She knew he didn’t have a lot of patients today and it would be the perfect time and the perfect way to tell him. Y/N sat in the waiting room, drinking water and flipping through a magazine when her name was called. She made her way into the room and saw Jensen typing away in his computer. 

“Please take a seat, I’ll be with you in a moment” He said very professionally and without looking up. 

“Is that how you're gonna greet your wife, Dr. Ackles?” Y/N smirked at him. 

She watched in amusement as he looked at her in surprise and a grin creeping onto his face. He quickly made his way around the table and hugged her. He kissed her softly on the lips.  

“To what do I owe this pleasure, Mrs. Ackles?” 

“Can’t a girl simply make an appointment to see her husband?” She teased. 

“She can,” He said with a smirk and wrapping his arms around her waist. “But she’ll be keeping him from some very important work.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll just have to put you to work huh?”

“Why are you here, Y/N?”

“I have an appointment with you, Jay.”

“Yes, I know” He said before frowning, “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” He went behind his desk to look at her file for the first time that day. In which he noticed that she was here for a sonogram for being pregnant. Y/N watched his eyes go wide and she bit her lip, unsure of how he’d react. 

“W-what” He whispered. He looked up at her and immediately made his way to her again. “Are you serious? How long have you known, Y/N?”

“Since yesterday, Jay. I wanted to tell you last night but I was nervous and scared. Then I figured I could surprise you here.”

He breathed out with a laugh. “We’re pregnant,” He said in awe. He quickly wrapped her up in his arms and held her tightly. “This is amazing, sweetheart. I’m so happy!” 

“I’m happy too, Jay.” Y/N replied tearing up. 

He wiped her tears with his thumb and kissed her deeply. He held her in his arms for a little bit longer.

“Let’s go get you that sonogram, yeah?”

“Yeah” She grinned.

________

30 mins later

Y/N found herself lying on the bed in the sonogram room. Jensen was setting up the monitor. She was nervous and so was he. She could see him fiddling with the thing and trying to set it up right. He was slightly cursing to himself due to nervousness. When everything was set up, he made his way with the gel and the scanner. He sat down on the stool beside her bed. The nurse had offered to help but he refused. This was his wife and his child. He wanted it to be just them. He pulled her t-shirt up, Y/N helped him out by pulling it higher.

“This is gonna be a bit cold.” He said before applying the gel to the scanner. But Jensen didn’t move. He kept staring at her tummy with a nervous look on his face.

“Babe” Y/N whispered to him. He didn’t budge. She grabbed his hand that was holding her t-shirt and only then did he get out of his trance and looked up at her. 

“I-I’m scared, Y/N. That’s our baby in there. It’s one thing to do this for other patients, but this is ours.” 

“I’m scared too, Jay. But this baby is going to be so lucky to have you as a father. It’s going to be okay.” Y/N sat up a little to place her palm on the side of his face. He leaned into it and they stayed like that for a couple of seconds with her caressing his face. It was calming to the both of them. 

Jensen placed the scanner on her tummy, making her flinch a little because of the cold. The monitor in front lit up with a picture of their little bean and they could hear the heartbeat.

“You see right there?” Asked Jensen tearing up a bit and pointing to a small area on the screen. “That’s our little girl or boy.”

Y/N was sniffling. “It’s so small” She whispered, making him chuckle. 

“Yeah. That’s our little pea, Y/N. You’re about 5 weeks along, sweetheart.” He said, looking into her tear filled eyes with a big smile.

_______

3rd month in

It was 4am and Y/N found herself throwing up her dinner down the toilet. It was all nice and exciting when they first found out about the baby. But as the third month rolled in, morning sickness was royally kicking her ass. She threw up once again into the toilet and right then she felt an arm wrap around her waist as the other pulled her hair back. She felt Jensen kneel behind her as he helped her through this ordeal.

“I hate this, Jay! When will this end?” She said sniffling. 

“I know, honey. I know” He soothed her.

“It was supposed to end by now! You said three months!” She exclaimed. 

“I know sweetheart. But sometimes it takes longer.” He kissed her temple. 

Y/N puked one last time before getting up and washing in the sink. Jensen then led her back to bed and made her drink two glasses of water. He then crawled in next to her. She immediately turned around to become little spoon so Jensen could wrap her in his arms and place his hand on her growing stomach.

Ever since she started showing, Jensen had become more and more touchy. He loved placing his hands on her stomach, talking to the baby or even singing to it on some nights. He even got over protective of her. He worried about her constantly and made sure she drank a lot of water, much to her protest. But it was necessary to keep her hydrated. He noticed that her morning sickness was worse than what mothers normally go through. The doctor part of him knew that it was nothing too bad, but the husband and father part of him worried a lot. 

The next day before leaving for home, he made sure to write a prescription for nausea tablets to help her out a little. He hated seeing her in such discomfort. He also in the last week rearranged his schedule to make sure he was at home with Y/N. She had the liberty to work from home but she didn’t realise that Jensen was home more than usual. Call it pregnancy brain or whatever. Or perhaps she just enjoyed it so much she didn’t question it. Until she didn’t…

Y/N was standing on the dining chair to get something from a high shelf. She wanted to do something nice for Jensen and decided to make his favourite. Just as she was about to grab whatever she needed, she heard the keys in the lock and the door open. 

“Honey I’m home!” He chuckled. 

“Hi baby!” She said, hoping he wouldn’t come into the kitchen just yet and see her. But of course, knowing him the first thing he always did was greet her with a kiss. Jensen came into the kitchen and froze. He immediately placed the medicine bag on the counter and rushed to her side.

“Y/N! How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing this?!” He said irritated. He grabbed her waist and helped her down.

“God, Jensen! Stop babying me! I was fine! I just needed to get some stuff that’s all!” She snapped at him. 

“It’s not fine! It won’t be fine if the chair topples over! It’s not just you okay? It’s our kid who’ll get hurt too!” He yelled.

“I know that! God you never let me forget! The damn nausea doesn’t let me forget! You’re always hovering around me. It’s like you’re home more than at work!” She yelled back. That’s when it hit her that it was only 3:30 in the afternoon and Jensen was home. “Why are you home so early, Jay?” She said her voice softer.

He sighed and rubbed his face. “I want to be here with you ok? So I rearranged my schedule a bit.” 

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder. “You don’t have to do that. You’re a gynaecologist, Jay. You know I’ll be fine.”

He hugged her back and said softly, “I know. But I’ve seen mothers miscarry or sometimes it’s really touch and go for both of them. They fall and get hurt. I can’t have that happen to you or our little bean, Y/N.” 

She hugged him tighter. “I didn’t realise it was harder for you. I’m sorry I’ve been so stubborn and irritable.”

“It’s okay, you get to be. But please just save me the heart attack.” He said chuckling. 

“Yeah okay” Y/N grinned at him before kissing his lips. 

“Let’s order in tonight.”

_______

A week later

Jensen just finished with a patient and walked into the sonogram room. Y/N was waiting for him in there, ready to find out the gender of their baby. An intern, James, was setting everything up and making small talk with Y/N. Jensen was training him and he figured that he could help out with this.

“Hi, honey” Smiled Y/N “Ready for the moment of truth?”

“God, I’m nervous” Grinned Jensen. 

“Me too” She smiled back.

He smiled softly and kissed her forehead. James got the scanner prepared and placed it on her stomach. The monitor lit up and showed their baby. Y/N was holding onto Jensen’s hand really tightly and his grip on her was no less hard. 

“Congratulations guys, it’s a boy!” Grinned James. 

“Thanks, James.” Whispered Jensen, not taking his eyes off the screen. He made his way where James was seated and patted his shoulder. James got the message and passed the scanner to him and left the room with a short goodbye to Y/N. Jensen took a seat and pressed the scanner back. 

“Our baby boy, Jay” Whispered Y/N tearing up. “And he’s so much bigger than the last time.” She gave a watery chuckle. 

Jensen grinned at her, “Yeah, he’s gonna grow up strong like his mamma.”

“He’s going to have the best daddy in the world.” She looked at him with such love in her eyes. 

Jensen dropped the scanner and grabbed her face and kissed her hard and rested his forehead against hers.

“I love you so much, Y/N”

“I love you too, Jay” 

__________

5th month in

“You need to eat healthy, Y/N. It’s good for you and Charles.” Said Jensen sternly holding a plate of green stuff in their kitchen. It was the weekend and they were both having a relaxing day in and Y/N was hoping for junk food and movies that night. But lately, Jensen was becoming this crazy ‘eat healthy’ advocate and it’s been driving her up the walls.

“Firstly Jay, we’re not calling him, Charles. He’s not related to the royal family for Christ’s sake. And secondly, keep that rubbish away from me and my baby.” She said crossing her arms. 

“Hey! Charles is a fine name!” He exclaimed. “And no, you have to eat this, sweetheart. You promised to eat what I say if I go easy on your exercise.” 

“Jay please!” She whined. “I had crappy green stuff for breakfast. I can’t do this again! I want tacos. Your son wants tacos!”

“Okay, how bout you eat this now, and I’ll make you tacos in the morning.” Jensen reasoned. 

“No.”

“Y/N…”

“You eat that crappy stuff if you want but I’m making myself a bacon sandwich.” She said and began fixing herself a sandwich. “With loads of bacon!” 

Jensen groaned at that. She loved testing him. Sure he could be a little overprotective. But he just wanted them healthy. Was that too much to ask? Does being a doctor have no value anymore? But she did have a point, the green stuff was crappy. He threw the thing away, “Make me one too”. 

She smirked at him triumphantly and went about making what normal people considered food. “And definitely not Charles!” 

____________

Few hours later

“Jay” Y/N whispered. It was 1am and they were in bed, Jensen fast asleep. “Jay” she said a little louder, making him mumble and wake up a little.

“Are you asleep?” She asked.

“Y/N, I love you. But I won’t hesitate to gag you.” He mumbled sleepily.

“But Jay, I want ice cream.” 

“There’s some in the freezer, go and get it.”

“But that’s chocolate. I want pistachio.”

Jensen groaned louder at that. “Can you manage with chocolate? I’ll get you pistachio tomorrow.”

“But what if I don’t crave it tomorrow?” 

“Oh my god, Y/N. Just eat the damn chocolate for now! I have an early day tomorrow.” He snapped lightly without meaning to, trying to get back to sleep.

Y/N huffed at him and began to sit up. She teared up at that. Pregnancy hormones were a real bummer. She had no control. She knew she was being unreasonable but she couldn’t help it. She felt guilty for putting Jensen through this, but at the same time she was annoyed with him for being so comfortable. 

The bed shook a bit as she placed her feet on the ground, waking Jensen up again. He noticed her sniffling. He sighed a bit and got out of bed and made his way to her side. He kneeled down in front of her, “I’m sorry sweetheart. I didn’t mean to snap.” 

“It’s okay” She mouthed trying not to sob. But that didn’t last long and she started crying. Jensen immediately sat beside her and pulled her into his side and rubbed her back. 

“Shh.. I got you. It’s gonna be okay. You’re okay.” He whispered to her, placing kisses on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry! I don’t know why i’m crying.”

“Don’t apologise, baby. It’s your hormones. They’re just a little out of whack right now.” He reassured her. “Just let go, honey. I got you. I’m sorry I snapped. I love you so much.”

He held her like that for a while until she calmed down. “Go back to sleep, Jay. You have an early day.” 

“Nope, you come first right now. I’m going to get you some pistachio ice cream okay?” He said getting dressed. 

“Can I come with you? I don’t want to be alone” Y/N asked hesitantly. 

Jensen gave her a big smile. “Midnight snack with the mother of my baby? How could I say no?” 

He gave her his sweatshirt to wear and helped her up to the main door. On the way Y/N stopped suddenly wincing slightly. Jensen panicked, “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“I-I think I felt a kick” She whispered. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. And as if the baby could feel his dad, he kicked once more. Jensen’s whole face lit up at that. He was grinning so wide. He dropped to his knees and kissed her tummy. “God, this is amazing.” he then began talking to his baby, “Hi, there little man. It’s your daddy. I can’t believe you kicked for the first time. Your mamma and I love you so much, my little pea. We can’t wait to meet you.” 

Y/N was tearing up again but this time it was because of the overwhelming love she had for her husband. Watching him talk to her belly so softly, this was it for her. Her perfect family. She didn’t think she could fall in love with Jensen anymore, but this moment right here. She fell in love all over again, the ice cream long forgotten. 

_________

7th month in

Y/N was sitting on the hospital bed in Jensen’s room. She was due for her first TT shot and she was not happy about that to say the least. 

“Why are we doing this again?” She asked.

“So you and the baby are safe from diseases. It’s a preventative measure, sweetheart.”

“Jay you know how I feel about needles.” She said, staring wide eyed at the monstrosity in his hand.

He wiped her left arm with a cotton swab, making her flinch. “I know, I’m right here and I’ll be gentle. It’s only a tiny prick.”

“How bout we do this later?” She asked nervously.

“Just relax, baby. The more you relax your muscles the less it’ll hurt. Trust me.” He smiled at her sweetly. He kissed her lips hard making her relax a little. “That’s better.” He said. 

“Do you calm all your patients this way, Jay?” Y/N asked, dazed from the kiss.

“Only the ones I’m having a baby with.” He teased, before sticking the needle in her slowly. 

“Jay!” She exclaimed from the sudden pain, not too loud but enough to show her distress. 

“It’s over. See?” He said pulling it out and cleaning up. He sat back down beside her and placed a hand on her stomach. She was getting bigger and he loved it so much. “Now you and little pea are going to be just fine.”

“That was more than a prick, Jay! You’re such a prick yourself!” She pouted at him, making him laugh and kiss her pout away. 

“That was such a terrible pun, sweetheart. Besides, You’re fine. You just need one more two weeks from now and then no more shots for you.”

“Oh hell no, Ackles! Stay away from me!” she glared at him and wobbled out the room. Jensen shook his head at her retreating form and laughed a little. He wasn’t worried, he knew he’d be able to get her back in for one more. God, she was adorable. 

___________

8th month in

Jensen had taken leave until the baby arrived and a little longer. Both of them were getting nervous as they got closer to 9 months. They baby proofed the whole house and began setting up the baby room. Y/N was at the last mile of the pregnancy and it was not fun. Her ankles were swollen like crazy and her back was constantly in pain. Her need to pee became quite frequent, disrupting her peace. She got more emotional and poor Jensen took the brunt of it. But he took it happily understanding what she was going through. 

One afternoon Jensen was called into work despite his holiday. It was an emergency and being head of the department it required his presence. But he didn’t want to leave Y/N alone in the house so he figured she’d be safer with him at the hospital where there are professionals to help her if needed.

That’s where Y/N found herself, bored to death and she sat in his office reading a book. An hour later and there was still no sign of Jensen. She decided to take a small walk to stretch her legs. As she was walking around occasionally greeting familiar faces, she felt a small pain in her abdomen. Jensen had already told her about false labor and what to expect from it. But that still didn’t prepare her for the shock and mild panic. She leant against the wall and clutched her stomach as the pain came again. One of the nurses noticed her discomfort and helped her to a couch. She paged Dr. Ackles and sat with her until he arrived. 

10mins later Jensen got to her and helped her to his room. He made her lie down on the bed and felt around her abdomen, making sure it was just Braxton Hicks and nothing serious. He smiled softly at her and kissed her forehead once he made sure. 

“It’s just Braxton Hicks, baby. Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about?! That motherfucker hurt!” She glared at him.

He raised his hands in defence, amused at her, “It’s just your body preparing itself for the actual birth.” He explained. 

“Jeez, can’t wait for that.” She said getting up. “Can we go home now, Jay?”

“Yeah sweetheart, let’s go” 

Man, her mood swigs are going to be the death of him.

______________

9th month in

Y/N was reading a book on the couch in the living room while Jensen fell asleep while watching tv. The due date was almost here and they were as prepared as can be. They had the hospital bag ready to go. Jensen let the hospital know that he’d be the one delivering his child. No one else was allowed near his wife’s vagina. His words exactly. Now all they had to do was wait till their son was ready to come out. They hadn’t decided on a name yet. But they weren’t too worried about that. They’d figure that out eventually. 

Y/N’s thoughts were interrupted when she felt a warm wetness run down her leg. Her eyes widened when she realised what happened. 

“Jay!” She yelled, but the man slept like a log. She threw a pillow at him and he woke up groggy.

“What? What happened?”

“Jay, my water broke!”

“Oh.. well then fix it.” He said, without thinking and in a sleep induced haze snuggling back into the sofa. 

Y/N was taken aback by his reaction. “My husband, the great doctor, ladies and gentleman!” she exclaimed. “Jensen, my water broke! Your son wants to come out! NOW! STAT!” She yelled at him. That did it. It was quite comical the way he sprung out of the sofa and rushed to her.

“What?! Why didn’t you say that!?” He shouted. Making her laugh at him.

They rushed to the hospital, Jensen parted ways with her for a little bit to get prepped. Y/N was taken to the delivery room and they got her into a hospital gown and ready for birth. She wasn’t fully dilated yet and the contractions were getting more and more painful. Jensen sat with her the entire time, checking every so often to see if she was good to go. 

“You know”, began Y/N she was all woozy from the pain, medication and tiredness. “Your profession really helps with the sex.” 

Jensen laughed at that and blushed a little. “It sure does, sweetheart.” 

“We did good making our baby boy” She mumbled. “It was so much fun.”

“Alright Y/N, let’s meet our boy, hmm? Push when I tell you to, baby” He said.

After hours of tiresome labour, they finally had their baby boy with them. The nurse took him away for a bit to clean him up and Jensen was tearing up as he made sure Y/N was alright. He kissed her lips before saying, “You did such an amazing job, baby. I’m so proud of you. Love you.” 

“I love you so much, Jay.”

The nurse placed their son in Y/N’s arms and left. The two of them sat in awe looking at the little bundle. Their beautiful son was here and well. And Y/N realised just how lucky she was to share this experience with her husband, who got to deliver their son.

❅ ❅ ❅

TAGS BELOW

@hobby27​ @akshi8278

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

Why am I so tired all the time?

4:30 am: youngest child wakes up after wetting the bed. change child, change bedsheets, replace drinks, turn night time music back on, convince youngest child that it is in fact still night time. Climb back into bed a 4:55.

5:00 am: eldest child comes to tell me that youngest child wants to play. I am aware, because I have heard her loudly declaring such since I left their room. Tell oldest child to go back to bed. Pray that, somehow, for the very first time, they will put themselves back to sleep. 

5:05 am: give up on hopeless prayers. Get up and take both children to the living room. Change the youngest into underwear. Log into tablets and override the “do not turn on until 6 am” setting. Wait for coffee to finish brewing.

5:23 am: extract self from underneath 2 children and a dog to pour first cup of coffee. It’s half caff, because spouse has a heart condition. Remind self that I can have several cups with impunity.

5:45 am: Eldest child is unhappy with the pre-made breakfast provided for him the night before. When asked what he would like to eat, he responds, “bacon, chinese food, or pizza.” Explain, again, that we need a variety of foods for our bodies to grow strong. Spend 15 minutes convincing him to eat $5 worth of blackberries as a compromise.

6:12 am: Finish 2nd cup of coffee, realize that eldest child’s night time pull up is overflowing with poop. Usher him to the bathroom for a bath. Feel humbled when I realize that I spent 10 years in grad school, and yet I am still reduced to wiping shit off another person. Calmly remind eldest child that he is capable of using the potty, and that I have confidence in him. 

6:30 am: Spouse awakes, complains that he slept poorly. Roll eyes and go back to drinking 3rd cup of coffee, in between being elbowed in the stomach and explaining that no, I do not know how to work the video game you just downloaded 15 seconds ago. Remind self that I am their physical and mental safe place, which is worth the literal bruises and mental stress. 

6:45 am: extract self from pile of children and dog by physically lifting each dependent off my lap. Verify that spouse is up for supervision duties, collect running clothes, and start treadmill.

6:47 am: stop treadmill because youngest child has entered the room and decided that I will not run today because it’s not fair. Remind self that arguing fairness with a 3 year old is the definition of futility. Gently remind her that I love her, she is a big girl, and she can play independently while I run. 

6:49 am: start treadmill again. Nagging calf pain seems to be back. Scale back workout, remind self that value of the run is not the distance. Do extra core workout to compensate.

7:30 am: shower. Mediate 2 sibling fights from shower. Fortunately, children are camped out in the bathroom with me, so I don’t have to leave a trail of water through the house to interact.

7:35 am: Marvel at the thought that spouse takes a 45 min shower. EVERY DAY. Note gratitude that I am working from home, and no longer have to style hair and makeup. 

7:36 am: Refill kid drink cups for the 3rd time today. Spend 30 minutes convincing, cajoling, and bribing kids to put on clean underwear. We no longer try for clothes. 

8:06 am: turn on work computer. Respond to a weekend full of emails. Handle 5 pressing tasks for side hustle, reasoning that if I get them out of the way, I can push the rest of that to do list to after working hours.

8:45 am: Answer persistent pounding on locked office door. refill drinks and provide snack. Reassure youngest child that mommy is still here, but she needs to work. 

9:03 am: debate whether going to the bathroom is worth leaving the office and the begging that ensues. Make wrong choice either way. 

9:15 am: morning meetings get shuffled later, because childless coworkers “are running late this morning.” Marvel at the concept of 9:15 am being early.

9:30 am: solid wall of meetings until noon. Update team on status at end of last week, despite not remembering what you just ate for breakfast. Realize that you haven’t eaten breakfast. Run training and introduction for new team member. You are the only woman on the team,  so you get do the training because “you’re so good at explaining things.” 

12:00 pm: Call youngest child’s preschool, make sure you can bring by her supplies and still adhere to Covid protocols. Preschool is also side hustle, so cram a parent and employee meeting into a single hour. Explain that new registration system will, in fact, be more efficient than old paper system. Remind preschool staff that we committed to going paperless. Make small talk with preschool teachers until the hour is up. Hop in the car and speed home.

1:00 pm: children adhere to my side the second I walk in the door. Spouse is in the shower. Children have eaten approximately 3 bites of their pb&j sandwiches, and demand different lunch. Remember that you have not eaten lunch yet. Refill drinks for 4th time, provide reasonable lunch alternatives. 

1:25 pm: Remember that you scheduled a meeting for 1:30, and. you need to be present. Calculate that extraction from children is not possible in 5 minutes, and take meeting with youngest child on lap. Despite having weaned 1.5 years ago, youngest child decides that you’re still nursing, and pulls down top on video call. Spend most of call switching on and off mute. Catch every 3rd word. 

1:45 pm: apologize to team, promise to reschedule a follow up with more focus. Hang up, extract youngest child’s arm from shirt. Refill drinks for the 5th time. Bribe children to get in bed for a nap with the promise of a visit to nana and pop this afternoon. 

1:48 pm: children’s beds have been stripped, due to accidents last night, but spouse “doesn’t know where the clean sheets are”, and so hasn’t remade beds. Children petition to nap on the floor. Explain floor is not comfortable. Find clean sheets, make 2 beds, take everyone to the potty, tuck both children in. 

2:20 pm: Realize that you have 40 minutes of actual work time left today, outside of meetings. Try to prioritize, with the knowledge that whatever you get done will not be enough. Deny request for drink refill.

3:00 pm: kick off afternoon meeting block. Try frantically to make the 40 minutes that you did get to work sound like a whole lot more. Wake children up during bathroom break so that they’ll be able to sleep tonight. Refill drinks for 5th time. 

3:45 pm: Curse the fact that youngest child has inherited your distaste for waking up. Gently coax her awake in between meetings.

4:00 pm: Wrap up last task from meetings, make list of all new tasks. Realize that today you have checked off one task, and received 7 new ones. Promise self that you’ll get your work laptop back out after the kids are in bed. Ignore the sense of despair that threatens to overtake you.

4:20 pm: Bribe children into putting on clothes with promise of fruit snacks at grandparent’s house. Feel mildly guilty as you put on your second round of workout gear. Load children in double jogging stroller, jog to grandparent’s house. 

5:00 pm: collect children to head home for dinner. 

5:10 pm: threaten no more fruit snacks if children don’t put on their shoes. Grandparents go get them more fruit snacks. 

5:23 pm: explain that the sun is going down in 24 minutes, and that we have to leave now to get home before it gets dark. Remember that time is immaterial. Wish for that blissful sense of ignorance.

5:37 pm: push 100 lbs of toddler and stroller up giant, hilly driveway. Spouse greets us with “what’s for dinner?” Politely remind him that he promised to plan and make dinner while we were gone. Grit teeth at his “I didn’t know what to make” response. Quickly run through available, easy, acceptable options and make dinner.

6:15 pm: serve dinner. Eat own dinner in 2.5 minutes, then spend rest of meal refilling drinks and plates, heating up or cooling down, and cajoling children to eat anything at all.

6:45 pm: Announce that tonight we don’t need to take a bath. Youngest child immediately melts down, because she wanted to take a bath. Eldest child melts down because, even thought he didn’t want to take a bath, he wanted to taunt his sister while she was in the bath. 

6:53 pm: Loose temper for 1st time today, scream that children need to brush their teeth. Step away to calm down. Spouse gets upset because “You can’t handle the children without yelling.” Bite tongue all the way through to avoid snarky reply.

7:10 pm: read 2 story books. Read one more. Explain again, that mommy cannot read anymore, and daddy will come read for a little while. Extract self from pile of children, and tuck both in. Hugs, kisses, and fist bumps. Twice. Then once more, after you’ve left the room.

7:15 pm: contemplate second shower. Decide that you didn’t really get that sweaty on the walk, and it’s not like you’re going out. Collapse on sofa with phone and mindless tv.

7:25 pm: spouse comes into the living room after harrowing duty of reading for 10 minutes. Hand over the remote, pull out side hustle lap top and finalize tasks for the day.

8:30 pm: remember that you promised to do main job work. Bring out that laptop to run some code while you continue side hustle work.

9:15 pm: Finish side hustle work, give up on main job work for the evening. Mentally apologize to team for not making more progress, promise to self that you’ll be more focused tomorrow.

9:30 pm: tell spouse that you need to go to bed. Endure his eye roll and disappointed face. Apologize for needing to go to sleep so early, and reassure him that you’re doing the best you can.

10:15 pm: eldest child has night terror. Comfort eldest child until he’s calm. Comfort youngest child, who is upset at brother’s screams. Realize that spouse is still watching tv in the living room while you comfort children. 

11:00 pm: listen to youngest child cry for 10 minutes until spouse begrudgingly tends to her. Remind self that it is not solely my job to comfort our children. Try to go back to sleep. 

3 am: eldest child wakes up with question about mushrooms that is vitally important. Answer to best of middle-of-the-night ability, acknowledge that you appreciate his curiosity, but that there are times when questions are not appropriate. Get him back to sleep.

4:30 am: youngest child wakes up.

[oneofthemillionarmy]

The Impossible Order | Ch.2

Summary line: Mr. Min is a stoic boss who will never outwardly show appreciation for you. Not until you’re gone does he recognize how much you do. And what you do matters to him.

ceo!Yoongi | best.friend!Hoseok | romance, fluff, angst, and stuff

Loosely inspired by Secretary Kim and this third bullet point of the prompt list

Last chapter

~•~

Last night, one of the Peruvian suppliers was able to promise 250 ct worth of tourmaline, but it would be delivered in two weeks rather than the originally intended week and a half. Knowing your boss is one for deadlines and punctuality, you believe he’d prefer Hestia Sourcing. Despite your own gut telling you that Peruvian Treasures will pay off in the long run. Regardless of the turnaround time from your main supplier, the 200 ct in two weeks will keep the remaining four projects afloat before the regular shipment. However, you still report the remaining two supplier response and quotes, also providing your own input. Mr. Min says he prefers Hestia; as expected.

“How goes the status on our tourmaline crisis?” Mr. Min asks as he sips on his third cup of coffee this morning.

“Hestia Sourcing has already been officially contacted for their shipment of tourmaline to arrive in a week and a half. Jimin is currently working with Kim Taehyung on the new design for the frame. Seokjin has already crafted two other designs for you to look at today before he meets with Yoo Jae Suk tomorrow. Beyoncé loves alexandrite, but the tourmaline was intended to match with her costumer designer’s vision for the Met Gala, so he’s unwilling to make changes. Your father had already ok’d the change for your parent’s anniversary gift, so we can switch their gemstones with alexandrite instead. The JP team has already started working on the mold for the Jubilee. And marketing just emailed me the final draft for the letter to the customers and PR is still working with marketing for the ethically sourced advertisement. They are utilizing internet ad platforms, both short clip video ads and on social media.” You handed him your tablet for him to read over the final draft letter and Seokjin’s designs.

“Tell marketing to go ahead with the letter. Also, tell Seokjin that I would also like to see his first design with silver instead of rose gold.”

“Yes, Mr. Min.”

“Today I’m meeting with Jasper and Jester Industries over Zoom at 12:30. Tell the tech team I want to use the hologram projector during this meeting because we’re showing them the prototype today. Speaking of prototype, I need to see the prototype from the TP team by 10. Go to L’Orange today for lunch today; I want the lamb chops. James and Soobin will be coming at 1:30 to go over the purchasing of the mine sites for the cobalt mining. Check back in with me at 2 on the Kim Taehyung project and the marketing strategy. I want to see Seokjin’s new designs by 3. And check with our supply team if we’re maintaining our upkeep of inventory. If not, I need a list before 11 this morning along with suppliers’ response for turnaround time and quotes.”

“Yes, Mr. Min.” You had your hands clasped behind your back the entire time.

“Another coffee please.”

“Yes, Mr. Min.” Without another word, you step out and take out your recorder. You play back his directives as you get the coffee.

~•~

“Hey, Hoseok.” You sigh as you pour hot water into your instant noodle bowl for lunch.

“Hey, Sunshine.” You chuckle. If the either of you were the sunshine, it’d be him.

“How’s Yeontan?”

“He’s fine. The vet says that he’s a little underfed, but otherwise, he’s still the most adorable Yeontan-ie that has ever lived.” Hoseok gushes at the puppy in his lap as he drives on his way back to his home. Hoseok will be holding onto Yeontan until the weekend.

“Ok. That’s good news. Was he good at the vet?”

“He hates the vet. You should know that better than I do. I was a dog catcher for 30 minutes. And he caused a whole waiting room full of dogs into a frenzy. Did you know that one of the people there brought their snake? I hate those. Yeontan almost fought a snake! You have no idea how hard it was for me to finally grab Yeontan before anything drastic happened.” You laugh as he goes on about his heroic deed of saving your pup from a snake.

“You did very well. Thank you, Hoseok.”

“Never mind that, Blessings. Hey. Are you coming over today after work?”

“I might. My boss has been very extra today. Every ten minutes, his chat bubble pops up adding 3 more things to do. But honestly, with the amount of things going on today, he shouldn’t have anything else left to do tonight. I might actually get off work on time.

“Good. Good. ‘Cause I was thinking –“ before Hoseok can finish his words, you hear the sound of a car swerve.

“Hoseok? You ok?”

“Yeah. Some idiot w-“ and the line cut off.

~•~

At 12:15, you were nowhere to be found. You left a message to Yoongi that you had to take the day off. Everything you were requested to do was already set in motion like a Rube Goldberg machine. You texted him saying that there are cups and cups of coffee in the fridge ready for him. If he wants hot, he’ll have to wait another day. And as promised, everything Yoongi needed was here. He had everything he needed. You just weren’t there to provide it.

“Where’s Y/N?” Seokjin asks as he comes in at 3pm like clockwork, “I would’ve thought she’d give me that 20-minute warning like she always does when I have a meeting with you.” She does that?

“I don’t know. She took a half day. I haven’t seen her since 11 or something.” Yoongi says nonchalantly as he looks over the Seokjin’s work. Seokjin just blinks at that before he starts slowly, “That’s not like her. Is everything ok? Do you know what happened?”

“No.”

“It’s just not like her to –“

“I like it better in silver this way.” Yoongi cuts him off, gesturing to the new designs.

“Heh. Yeah, Y/N said you would. I wanted to show you the rose gold one first anyway.” Seokjin chuckles as he sits down across the table from him, “Speaking of Y/N,” I wasn’t speaking about her…, “You got the supplies list for JP, TP, and HP, right? She told me you were working with the cobalt mine sites today. She told me to tell you that since cobalt is one of the supplies on the list, and the mine site wouldn’t be ready just yet, she contacted 3 different cobalt miners and selected Arrows for the cobalt supply.”

“She should’ve come to me first about the different miners. We have our upcoming product from HP –“

“The ceramic tiles for Ms. James’ bathroom. Yeah. She contacted HP. They require 300 g and Arrows is the only one with the adequate amount of supply. It will be here in 5 days.” Seokjin stands up and walks over to Yoongi’s kitchen, “All the other suppliers have been contacted. She sent me the list and wants me to report it to you.”

“You’re just a designer for the jewelry department,” Yoongi says as he looks through his email to see if you sent him any recent emails. Nothing.

“Give me some credit. I’ve got a brain and it’s used for more than just designing. Don’t forget, before I was a designer, I was also your assistant too.”

“Yeah, a pretty bad one.” Yoongi snorts. It’s why he needed you.

“We were just a startup! We literally just graduated then.” Seokjin protests as he come back over and sets down a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of Yoongi.

“I thought Y/N only had iced ones left.”

“She did, but she instructed me to heat up one for you before we go over the list with you.” Seokjin scoots his chair closer as he whips out his tablet to bring up the supplies list, “And one for after.”

~•~

“Mr. Jung has suffered a serious blow to the head and is currently unconscious. We don’t know when he will wake at this point. His left arm has scarring from the glass shatters from the window when the car was impacted. His left leg has a hairline fracture and the patella was dislocated but has already been set back. Luckily, his left leg is the worst of the limbs. There’s bruising on the right thigh and right elbow also has bruising. The bruises are likely from holding on to the dog during impact. His right arm has some muscle tears do to strain.

“Right now, our biggest concern is when he will wake up. He had internal bleeding in the brain but the blood has been removed and there’s no clotting, in his brain or anywhere near his spine. Everything is where it needs to be, and there’s nothing that indicated long term brain damage or trauma. But we won’t know for sure until he wakes up.” The doctor nods his head and leaves.

You sniff as you cross your arms, staring at your best friend lying in the hospital bed. His head is wrapped as well as his left arm. His left leg is currently suspended in its cast. By his left eyes and cheeks, are massive bruises that still look sticky and gooey.

If only I didn’t let him take Yeontan…

“How’s my dog?”

“We checked in with the vet hospital nearby. Your dog has no extreme injuries, only mild bruising. The doctor wants him to stay overnight for observation.” The nurse reports to you. You shiver from the lonely air of the hospital.

“You can go in and see the patient right now, but please do not touch him. And visiting hours will be over in 40 minutes.” The nurse gently reminds you before you nod, thanking the nurse and heading in.

Walking towards Hoseok, your nose feels the burn as tears well up in your eyes. Before you even reach Hoseok’s bed, the tears already overflow out.

“I’m so sorry Hoseok. This is my fault.” And he’s a dancer too…oh my God, he’s a dancer….his limbs…

Your tears quickly turn into hysterical sobs, thinking too many things at once. Your greatest prayer is that he wakes up and he is completely healed. You start hyperventilating so you sit down and take deep breaths.

Although you were instructed not to touch him, you couldn’t resist to at least clutch to the hospital blankets next to his right hand, your knuckles touching each other’s.

“Please wake up, Hoseok. I’ll never have you do anything else for me. I’m sorry if I ever took advantage of you. Please know that I never once took you for granted. You are my dearest friend and I don’t want anyone else for a best friend. I promise to hug you more. I promise to cook for you. I’ll do it at your house. You don’t have to come to mine. I’ll clean up my mess after too. I’m here for you, I promise. I really am. I’m not leaving you, I swear to God. Please just wake up and be ok. You’re gonna be ok. I promise.” You turn to look to the hospital window to make sure no one sees you. You grab his right hand and lean down to kiss it, “Please wake up.”

Your phone in your pocket vibrates and you take it out.

The board members meeting is tomorrow at 8am. Please gather the data and reports from the teams ready by 6am. I will look over it before the meeting.

“Fuck you. No. Not now.” You grit your teeth and put the phone back in the pocket.

Your tears are both sad and angry now, but you know you need to calm down. Nothing drastic.

You take a couple deep breaths before you wipe your tears and take your phone out again to write an email. You look up as you think for a moment. Make that three.

Next chapter

[athenadcvell]

Let’s make this a strict parent’s thread

Ok, everyone with strict parents. I’m boutta top y’all. And let’s all suffer together, so reblog with your own wild rules you have to follow

Fellin bored, so I’m boutta flex and just go ahead and hand my parents the most controlling and manipulative strictest parents of all time award

I have never been allowed to go to anyone’s house unless they were family

That literally means that growing up, if I was even invited to a birthday party, my parents would not let me go

Not one of my friends have ever been allowed to come over

Up until Sophomore year, I had never hung out after school with my friends

I maybe ever went to one birthday party, for, like, an hour

My dad gave me his old tablet when I was 12. He put restrictions so I could not access any web browser, the app store, or download games intended for children 12 and up

I was twelve 

We have an alarm on our door. Not a system generated alarm that notifies police if there is an intruder. Nope. An alarm. You open the door or window? Alarm

I’m not allowed to open my windows and have my door locked. And no, I have not been caught smoking before, or sneaking out. My room is on the third level

I am not allowed to have my phone or laptop in my room, ever

I am not allowed to wear leggings

I am not allowed to wear shorts

I am not allowed to wear tank tops

I can’t wear ripped jeans or crop tops

I can not wear short dresses or skirts without wearing leggings underneath them (which is why I stopped wearing them all together)

I can’t leave the house wearing a shirt that shows my shoulders

I have never been allowed to date, or even hang out with guys

My mom says she’s fine with my hanging out with boys, but one time, one of my guy friends dropped me off home after school (there were two other girls visible in the car) and my mom thought he looked like a ‘drug dealer’. I ended up getting grounded for a week

I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 14

I literally do not have a curfew. Meaning, that I can be out of the house for maybe two or three hours before my mom drags my ass back in. God forbid I ask to stay out past 7

I can’t hang out two weeks in a row. I asked my mom once if I could hang out with my friends on Friday, and she said I was abusing her generosity because she had let me hang out with friends the Friday before

I literally can not even sit on our front porch because apparently I look like a ‘prostitute’

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

My mom makes me roll up my pads/tampons in toilet paper before throwing them in the trash bc the ‘men of the house’ don’t need to see that

the only one who cares is my misogynistic fuck of a father. I’ve asked my brother. He couldn’t give a shit

I can’t even say the word period out loud without getting yelled at

My phone and laptop both have internet restrictions on them, cause apparently, a fucking high schooler can’t be trusted on google

I literally have like 5 different VPN’s and Proxy’s downloaded on my computer

At 9, my WiFi cuts off. I’m the only one in the house who has to go through that

If I want an adrenaline rush, I go and ask my mom if I can hang out/ buy something. Get’s the heart beating real quick

Also works if I wanna be reminded of all the reasons why I’m such a failure and let down

I can’t spread my legs open wide while sitting down without my dad getting angry and yelling at me

On more than one occasion, my father has forced me to sit in the trunk of our car bc I did something to piss him off. The drive can range anywhere from 15 min to 3 hours. The first time he did this I was 9

Tbh this has started to become more of ‘reasons why my parents are such shitty people’ rather than ‘reasons why my parents are super strict’

There’s more, but Imma stop now. 

If you got strict parents, add yours! Even if your parents are stricter, or not as strict as mine, it actually rlly helps to know that you’re not the only one in a wildly unfair and controlling household

P.S: Yes. I have broken almost every single one of these rules more than once. And yes. I have gotten in trouble. Trust me, I got the scars to prove it.

[sweetlydraws]

Painted Lady AU Christmas at Clover-Bloom (Dealing with the Pressure.)

I started to write this at the begging of December. Life got in the way. I wanted some character interaction. Marinette and the OCS.

Warnings? (Panic attack. Criticism of the Class.)

Third-person P.O.V

Marinette leaving her design class when her tablet binged from a notification. An email? The email reads,

“Dear Students of Clover-Bloom Academy,

As we are now in the month of December, I must remind you all that holiday plans are to be submitted to the head office before the 19’th. We do not want anyone missing any holidays with their family or friends.

Another reminder will be sent on the 10’th. Have a lovely rest of your day.

Headmaster Jean Corbin.”

Marinette read the email a few times. She didn’t realized that you had to put in leave for Christmas. Her tablet binged again, this time it was a text from Brethold.

“Hey M-Nette you out of class? Want me to pick you up?” Marinette sends a quick okay back. She then sits on a nearby bench. Ever since she made some jeans for Brethold, he’s been insisting that he do stuff for her.

Marinette takes her hair out of her pigtails. Running her fingers threw her hair. The middle of her hair is still wet. Sighing she puts her hair in a ponytail instead. Feeling movement in her bag, she sees that Pollen and Trixx having a silent fight about who get to play this new Ladybug and Chat Noir phone game.

Marinette honestly didn’t like this phone game. Like the Ladybug movie, whoever made it had bad characterizations of her and Chat. But she’s not Ladybug anymore, so she can’t denounce it. Pollen and Trixx seem to enjoy it, so she tolerates it. Sadly Nooroo wasn’t there. Nooroo was tired after last night. They had to stop another fight between the Crimson Beetle and Chat Noir again.

Sighing, Marinette just couldn’t figure out why Chat wouldn’t let her talk to him. According to Nooroo, Plagg should know that she’s the Painted Lady. When she first introduced herself to the Beetle, Tikki and Nooroo seemed to have some conversation that left the Beetle trusting her. Why couldn’t Chat do the same?

BEEP BEEP!

“M-NETTE! YOUR TAXI IS HERE!” Brethold yells from his helmet. Brethold was sitting on his scooter, waving at her. Getting up, she walks towards him. Brethold hands her a helmet. They zoom off. “How was class?” Brethold half yells.

“Busy!” Marinette yells back. In Marinette design class her final project is something you work on all year. Because Marinette started school later, she only had to make 3 out of the 4 outfits she designed. She decided on the ones based on Pollen, Nooroo, and Trixx.

“Did you get the holiday email?!” Brethold yelled.

“Yeah!”

“Do you have plans!?”

“I don’t know yet!” Honestly Marinette’s parents only celebrated Christmas because they were semi-forced too. Her mom side of the family only like 4 or 5 people did Christmas and her dads side weren’t really there. Sighing, Marinette decided she would just call her parents tonight and ask them.

“I’m staying!” Brethold’s voice broke Marinette’s thoughts. Before Marinette could yell back they arrived at the Greenhouse Cafe. Brethold parks and they both get off.

“What do you mean your staying?”

“If you don’t have plans, or don’t summit leave you stay at Clover-Bloom over the holiday break.” He shrugs. “My parents don’t do Christmas, never could afford it growing up. Just wasn’t a thing we do. Also my parents house wasn’t updated to accommodate my leg.” He patted his hip, gesturing down his leg.

Marinette nods. She couldn’t imagine if she had hurt her hands or legs and trying to get into her room.

“What is Clover-Bloom like during the holidays?” Marinette asks. She and Brethold head into the cafe.

“Well… There are no classes. Classrooms that have expensive equipment in them are locked but other than that. There all opened. If you have a year-long project you have this time to work on it.” Brethold explains as they head to the booth in the back. Lilian and Vivienne are already there.

“Sup loser! Hey Mari, how was fashion class?” Lilian smiles as she moves her bag to block Brethold from sitting. He sits on the bag, never breaking eye contact from Lilian.

“Will you two ever stop?” Vivienne asks looking tired. Whatever was going on between the cousins, cause them to ignore Vivienne.

“Vivienne, what are you doing for the break?”

“During brake I live with aunts. So I’m staying. I’m probably not going to be in my dorm, but who knows.”

“Do you celebrate Christmas?”

“If my aunt Seong-Min is here for Christmas, then yes.”

“Where is she again?” Lilian asks as she yanks her bag from under Brethold.

“Last time she checked in it was Toronto Canada.” Vivienne rubs the back of her neck.

“Before you ask Marinette, I’m also staying. And no, I don’t celebrate Christmas. Well my parents do but I don’t.” Lilian holds her drink and points at Marinette.

“Can I ask why?” Marinette pulls out her phone to text her parents.

“I just don’t like that I have to buy stuff on this one day to show that I care about people.” She shrugged. “I give people things all year to show that I love them you know. It’s just frustrating that if you don’t give someone something then your a bag guy, even if you gave them something they week before.” Lilian started to get worked up. She shakes her head. Christmas is not a thing to get amokized over.

“Do you celebrate Christmas Mari?” Lilian asks after chugging down a red bull.

SMACK!

“What was said about that.” Vivienne hissed. Brethold quietly snickered. Lilian only muttered under her breath.

“Kinda...” Marinette answered. “My mom side of the family are all in China and my dad side isn’t really in my life. My grandfather doesn’t like my mom, and my grandma travels the world. My parents mostly used Christmas as a day off. At my old school I spent most of the month making things for my former class.” Marinette sighed. It’s been a few months since what happened but it still is sore to talk about.

“Marinette you don’t have to make anything for us. I don’t know if you were planning to or not. I just wanted to throw that out there.” Vivienne says.

“Yeah! You made me these jeans already and I still need to pay you back for them!” Brethold adds.

“I love your designs but I’m not going to get them for free. I’ll gladly pay you first.” Lilian agrees.

Marinette is taken aback. She is just so use to making things for free and not getting anything in return. Before she could rebuttal Aurora bounced in.

“Hello! Guess who is going to Berlin to see her brother for Christmas!” Aurora sang.

“Vivienne?” Brethold joked.

“No, me! Xavier called me last night and told me the plans. I just sent my notice. I leave the 19’th and I’m coming back the 6’th! What were we talking about before I showed up?” Aurora change topics easy.

“Marinette was asking what we're doing for the holiday and if we celebrate Christmas. And we were telling her not to make us clothing as a present.” Vivienne explained.

“If Marinette makes me something I’ll make her something back! Also my family celebrates Christmas. Since my family all live apart, we really go ham for Christmas. Vivienne knows!” Aurora smiles. Vivienne's eyes go wide and she shudders.

“Your family tried to kill me,” Vivienne says pointing her finger. Marinette gasps.

“It’s not my fault your family doesn’t do touching.” Aurora laughs.

“Wait I’m confused?” Marinette whispers.

“My family is a very touchy-feely one. They love showing they love people. So Vivienne was the target of a lot of that love. Her family is very…. Stiff?” Aurora explains through giggles.

“My grandmother,” Vivienne mutters. Marinette nods in confusion.

“Did anyone tell her about our tradition?” Aurora asks. The table goes silent. Lilian smacks her head.

“No, we forgot.” She mutters. Marinette tilts her head.

“On the 15’th we meet up on the roof of C building, bring a karaoke machine and some junk food and have a blast! Since you here, you're invited!” Aurora claps her hand a few time.

“How do you have access to C building? We all live in D?” Marinette questions

“I have keys to all the dorm buildings. Perks of my uncle being the headmaster.” Lilian grins. Marinette is taken aback.

“Do I have to bring anything?” She asks prepared to take notes.

“Only your self. If you want to bring anything that’s up to you.” Vivienne says. Marinette finds this very frustrating before she was constantly told what to do, what to bring. Marinette chest tightens. What if they did want something? What if they get mad at her! What if she messes up! “Ma-” What if they can’t get food, and she didn’t bring anything!”Ette-” What if,what if,what if,what if,what if,what if,what if,what if!

“MARINETTE!” Hands grab her shoulders. Marinette’s eyes won’t focus but Brethold is the one holding her.

“Shit! I think she having a panic attack!” Lilian says. She runs off to grab a water.

“Marinette I need you to focus on me okay,” Brethold asks in a soft voice. Marinette tries to focus her eyes. She is only able to see a blurry picture of Brethold tho.

“Marinette I’m going to need you to take several deep breathes,” Vivienne says. Marinette follows what Vivienne told her to do. While Marinette is focused on trying to see Brethold and breathe, Aurora is able to take Marinette phone out of her tightened hands. Lilian rushes back with the water.

“Drink.” Lilian hands the water over. Marinette takes a minute to finishes it, but when she's done her chest isn’t tightened anymore and she can clearly see Brethold. “Do you need more water?” Marinette turns towards Lilian and shakes her head.

“Nette I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have just assumed that you wanted to come! I-” Aurora was cut off my Vivienne hand touching her shoulder. No one knew that from Marinette bag the two kwamis watch with concern. Pollen and Trixx were able to feel Marinette’s panic. It had taken everything for Pollen to not rush out and comfort Marinette.

“Aurora we don’t need you also in a panic.” Aurora nods, her head drooped lower. “Marinette, if you’re feeling up to it, can you tell us what just happened please,” Vivienne asked not wanting to push Marinette.

“Please expect something from me.” Marinette barely whispers. If the group of teens weren’t already quiet they would not have heard, but they did.

Brethold first thought was one of pain. As the former soccer captain, he knew what it was like to have people put pressure on him… Brethold looks at Marinette, she trying to make her self smaller. His heart is breaking. He doesn’t understand. Who would make Marinette feel like this? He frowns.

Aurora was next. She felt nothing but sadness. Marinette sounded so defeated. The fact they didn’t want anything from her sent Marinette into a panic attack. Marinette seems so happy. Aurora closed her eyes and thought. When they did anything Marinette put almost everything on her plate. When Brethold mentioned that because of his leg brace he can’t find jeans that were comfortable. Marinette went and made him jeans. Vivienne’s aunt mentioned that they were trying to find a new pastry for the menu Marinette offered to help. Why didn’t Aurora see this sooner? She opens her eyes and looks at Marinette.

Lilian was mad. The only thing she could think of was that old school of Marinette’s. Lilian was the unofficial leader of the D-dorm building. Mostly because of her uncle being the headmaster. So when a new student was moving into the dorm, she went to her uncle. All he would say is that the student had a hard time at her prior school. Once she got to know Marinette she learned that she was akumatized. Marinette doesn’t like talking about it. Lilian starts to connect the dots. Her fingernails start to cut into her palm.

Vivienne was quiet. Looking at Marinette felt like a mirror. That feeling of needing a purpose. That feeling that if anything goes wrong it will be your fault. That feeling. Vivienne fought a shiver. She’s had this feeling since she was a child. But this feeling was from a cycle of abuse from her mother, and her grandmother. Vivienne held her breathe. She was only just able to start healing. Even then there are many days that she’s afraid to leave her room. Vivienne forced her self to breathe. Who did Marinette have to help her?

“Marinette.” Vivienne says. Not sure of what to say she just starts to speak. “I know this seems hard to… Believe but you don’t need to do anything.” Marinette goes to open her mouth but Vivienne doesn’t stop talking.“Aurora doesn’t need to bring anything, Lilian, Brethold, or me none of us have to bring anything… This is for all of us to be together. You don’t need to plan out the whole thing.” Vivienne voice trailed.

“But!” Brethold cuts in. “If it would make you more comfortable. We could make a list of thing for the each of us to bring. So you don’t have to… Panic. About what to bring because you’ll know what everyone will be bringing.” Brethold laid the plan out hoping that everyone would give.

“I’m bringing the machine, and the speakers.” Lilian says looking at Aurora.

“I’ll bring the pillows and chairs.” Aurora claps her hands.

“I’ll bring the drinks. Speaking of which text me what you’ll want.” Vivienne adds.

“I’ll cover the snacks, like popcorn and stuff… and first aid things.” Brethold whispers the last part fast. Marinette was quiet. What was she going to bring? They said everything else. She looks at them all then looks down. Her thoughts are racing.

“How about you bring some baked goods.” Vivienne breaks Marinette thoughts.

“But! But Brethold is bringing snacks already! And, and  I don-”

“I’ll bring savory snack and you bring sweet ones” Brethold smiles putting his hand comfortably on her shoulder. Marinette nods. She can do that. She can bake some holiday-inspired dishes. She feels the knots in her gut fade.

“I’m sorry for what happened,” Marinette says. Aurora goes to say something but Vivienne stops her. “At… At my old school, I was the class president. At first, I had my old friend as my vice president, it was fine. It was easy! It was fun.” Her voice brakes. “But then it started just being me. I would plan everything! I would have to bring everything! Not only that but I had to make the decorations! For anything, I planned, and more! Stuff I didn’t plan. Things I wasn’t even apart of.” Marinette’s voice was desperate. Each sentence sounded more painful than the last. “ It only got worse when they made me interact with the guy I had a crush on! No. Not made, forced! Forced me to interact with him. I couldn’t even talk to him without panicking!”Marinette bangs the table slightly.

The group of teens looks at each other. Marinette continued. “Marinette make me this! Marinette I need this done before to tomorrow! Marinette what happened to bringing cookies in? Marinette I need this dress, that I didn’t tell you about done by this weekend, AND I’m not paying for it!” Marinette was turning red. “It was only worse after she came back. After they turned their back on me. I would have to plan parties I didn’t even get to go to. And she would always make comments about how she could have done it better and faster. In turn I. Had. To.” Marinette went quiet. Tears fell from her eyes.

No one said anything. The kwamis in Marinette bag froze. Even though they have been with Marinette since her akumatizing they hadn’t heard anything about this. They knew that the former class wasn’t the best but this! Pollen thought about the interaction her former queen and the turtle boy had with Marinette. How could Marinette choose to forgive? Her lady was stronger then Pollen would have been. Trixx, however, was raging. His former fox Ayla. That was the only person in his head at this moment. He knew she was something. Never out of the box long enough to figure it out, but now! His jaw tightened.

Brethold just hugs Marinette. He couldn’t think of any words to say. Aurora joins in. Lilian and Vivienne share a look. Neither hug Marinette but they do hold her hands. The group silently comforts Marinette. Marinette takes it in. Marinette wasn’t sure why she went off. Maybe it was the season, maybe she was just tired of holding it in. Marinette lets out a silent breathe. She makes eye contact with Pollen and Trixx. She wants to laugh, Trixx looks like an angry cat. His ears are laid back and he’s baring his teeth.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Marinette tightens her grip on the hands she holds. The others don’t move immediately, but they do slowly. “Thank you. Really thank you.” She rubs her eyes.

The tender moment was ruined by Marinette's phone ringing. Aurora forgot that she was holding Marinette’s phone, resulting in Marinette’s phone almost going flying. Grabbing her phone she answers.

“Hi, sweetie! How was class?” Her dad's cheerful tone causes Marinette to start laughing hard. The others start following suit. “Did I miss something?” Was all her dad could ask.

“You could say that,” Marinette says after she laughed all she could.

“Well as long as you sound happy.” She could hear her dad smile.

“Hey dad I need to talk to you about what we’re going for the holiday break later okay.”

“Sure can’t wait. OH! Nino and his mom came by and dropped off a Christmas present for you. Said that if you can’t come home then to mail it.” Marinette was confused. Nino and his family didn’t celebrate Christmas.

“Um, okay.”

“Tom the cookies smell burnt!” Marinette heard her mom call.

“NOT THE GINGERBREAD! Call you back love you!” Before Marinette could respond her dad hung up. The group was taken aback.

“NOT THE GINGERBREAD!” Lilian jokey yelled! “Your dad sounds like a treat Mari!”

“What! Is with all the yelling.” Vivienne aunt Odette rolled up.

“Sorry aunt Ode,” Vivienne says. “Things got… a little sour over here.” Odette raised an eyebrow. She just sighs and rolls away.

“I’m going to head to my room, okay,” Marinette says. “My head hurt and all the emotions made me tired.” She snorts.

“Do you need me to drive you?” Brethold asks.

“No, I think I’ll walk.”

“Be safe,” Aurora says.

“You too.”Marinette smiles as she gathers all her stuff to leave. After she leaves, Pollen pops her head up. Marinette just puts her hand in her bag and hold the kwamis. Hopefully, during the break, Marinette can rest… No evil Santa or amokized kids. No Chat and Beetle fights. Just her and her friends and family hanging out. Marinette wonders what Nino could have got her.

Quick note! I changed certain things about Marinette and her family. According to Google, most Chinese people in China don’t celebrate Christmas. So  I tried to include that. As for Tom’s parents. Her grandfather seemed racist. I live in the southern United States, he reminds me of a lot of the old people here. Also Google also says Moroccan people don’t celebrate Christmas either. The creator says Nino and his family are Moroccan (That's what the wiki says.) so I tried to add that as well. (I’m a white American. I tried to get info. If any of this is false please correct me!)

I’m hoping to get the Kwami post done soon.

[mvssmallow]

Memento Vivere

Part XI

Masterlist

In his Real Life, the one where he lives alone in a high rise apartment that record company money paid for, he’d either wake up alone or with people he has no intention of seeing again, much less make small talk with in the morning. If it’s high profile enough, his manager can threaten them with signing NDAs on their way out. It’s not his problem beyond the doorway.

When he’s hungry, he eats. When he wants to play video games, he does. When he wants to go out, hit a bar, hit a club, he throws on his leather jacket and grabs his credit card. His manager and team are permanently hovering but they know that they go where he goes. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission and he knows he’s everyone’s meal ticket so what’s the worst that could happen? Nobody asks questions, he doesn’t offer answers.

But that’s not how all the Jiwons live.

Some Jiwons can’t do anything with getting clearance from an entire army of people, including one who can’t even talk yet.

And that’s how he finds himself now, crouched on the floor helping Minji with the velcro tabs on her Mickey Mouse sneakers and trying to figure out why Hanbin’s packing two backpacks for them when they’re just taking the kids to the Zoo.

Snacks. Water. Sunscreen. Money. A spare change of clothes for both kids. All of Jae’s baby supplies and a camera.

Okay, that’s standard.

But then there’s a whole other black backpack with headache tablets, allergy tablets, a small first aid kit, alternate snacks in case the other options get rejected and spare adult t-shirt and hoodie.

Anyone would think that they were going to Antarctica and not a couple minutes into town.

One of Minji’s Snoopy plushies is poking out of ‘his’ backpack and he doesn’t even remember it being there two seconds ago.

“Er, Hanbin?”

“Hmm?”

“Why do we have to take Snoopy to the Zoo?”

Hanbin looks up from where he’s adjusting Jae’s stroller. “Because I don’t feel like dealing with another tantrum today.”

“Will she even play with it-”

“Don’t you remember what happened last time?”

No he doesn’t. He wasn’t even here last time.

But Hanbin continues on, not even pausing for an answer because, he realises with crushing guilt, the Hanbin here doesn’t expect him to remember anything important.

“She got tired and scared from the snake display and cried for like 15 minutes until we got her a new plushy.” Hanbin recounts without stopping his stroller adjustments. “We’re not getting her a new plushy every time she freaks out. She can have Snoopy.”

“Oh.”

Hanbin straightens up and rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Oh. You think she’s not going to try it again? I’ve got this kid figured out.”

“You make her sound like she’s an evil mastermind.”

“And this is why she plays you so easily.”

He feels like laughing at the melodramatics but Hanbin’s furrowed brows, pursed lips and accusatory tone has him thinking otherwise.

“Sorry.”

“Huh?” There’s a surprised lilt and comically big eyes staring at him.

Even when they were kids meeting for the first time, he always thought Hanbin’s eyes got too big whenever he was surprised by something. Not quite doe eyes. Not quite Bambi. But pretty close. It’s memories like that that really punches him in the gut when he least expects it.

“Um, sorry? I guess. I should probably be more tough with her?” His voice is wobbly and unsure, it sounds nothing like how a Dad should sound. Hanbin’s going to figure all his lies out in 3, 2, 1.....

“Yeah....okay.”

It comes out quietly, calmly, appreciatively and relieved. He really doesn’t want to think about how the Jiwon here treats this Hanbin at all. Not when he himself, a total selfish idiot on his best day, is doing the bare minimum and somehow hasn’t fucked everything up. How much worse is the Real Dad Jiwon?

There’s a dark raincloud following him around everywhere here and he’s had enough of it. Just for one second, he wishes Hanbin would be happy. Not Pretend-Happy-for the sake of Everyone else but Real-Happy-Just-For-Himself.

“Isn’t it a bit hypocritical that we’ve got so many plushies for Jae though?” He jokes to lighten the mood.

Please work. Please work. Don’t get pissed.

Hanbin’s face visibly softens and he shrugs, maybe smiling a little. “He’s the baby. He can have whatever he wants.”

Right on cue, Jae babbles out at the mention of his name and the word ‘baby’.

“See? He agrees with me.”

“Of course he would. You let him have everything.”

“As if you don’t.”

“Well, he is the baby.”

“You do this every time.” Hanbin says with an amused shake of his head.

“Do what?”

“Act like you’re surprised about how much baby stuff we need.”

“He’s so small! Why does he even need that much stuff?”

“I don’t know Jiwon, he’s your kid, why don’t you ask him why he needs his bear and duck toys everywhere he goes?”

“Maybe he just wants to be prepared.”

“Because you never know when a bear situation will arise.” Hanbin replies in a mock serious tone.

And then the weirdest thing happens; they both laugh.

It’s nice.

But then-

“HURRY UP DADDY!”

Yeah, okay. Then there’s that.

****

The day turns out nice.

Weirdly, exhaustingly, overwhelmingly nice.

It’s somewhere between the Polar bear enclosure and Tiger cave that he forgets he’s pretending to be a dad and somehow feels like he is one.

“Daddy? Up?” Minji asks, sweet as can be all the sudden, tugging on his sleeve before holding both arms up at him.

As soon as he bends down, she’s already climbing onto his shoulders with practiced ease and a terrifying amount of trust that he really doesn’t deserve from any of them. He grips her ankles tightly as she yells out tiger commentary at the top of her lungs. There’s a young couple next to them smiling and a slightly older one laughing at the, “Look Daddy! The tiger knows how to swim!”

It takes him a few seconds to recognise the warmth in his chest. He hasn’t felt it in a long time.

Pride.

They think Minji is his daughter. But she’s not. Hanbin should get credit for this.

When he looks over, Hanbin is already looking back at him with an easy smile that he wouldn’t mind seeing more often.

Yeah, that’s really really nice.

And maybe because things are going too well, his dark raincloud decides to swoop in again. The building migraine suddenly throbbing behind his eyes and no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, the grimace hits his face at the worst time.

“Hey, you okay?” Hanbin asks him, reaching up to lower Minji to the ground despite her protests. “The tiger’s gone over there now Min, go look.”

It distracts her long enough for Hanbin to peer worriedly at his face.

“I’m...okay.” He waves the concern off, hoping the movement to comes across as casual. “Just a migraine.”

“Okay.” Hanbin echoes, not sounding convinced at all. “It’s probably time for lunch anyway. Let’s go find a place to sit down.”

They end up on a shady patch of grass near the duck pond and as soon as he sits down, Hanbin is holding out a bottle of water and two Advils. He takes them wordlessly, still marvelling at how one person can change so much in one lifetime.

There’s a gentle breeze through his hair as he sits on the picnic rug and when he closes his eyes, just for a second, he can hear Hanbin talking to both his kids in that patiently gentle way that still floors him.

“Oh no, I left Jae’s dinosaur snacks in the car.”

He’s already standing up. “I’ll go get them.”

“No, I’ll go. You’ve got a migraine. Just stay here and watch the kids.”

He shakes his head, the migraine is still there but he could do with a walk right now. “It’s better you watch them. I’ll go, it’s easier.”

And God, he really wishes he hadn’t said that.

Because next to their Honda, was that Angel-Satan guy leaning against a familiar black Jaguar. His stomach drops so fast that he completely forgets about his migraine altogether.

“YOU!” He hisses. “What are you doing here?”

“Welfare check.” The guy says casually, shrugging and adjusting the dark black sunglasses on his nose. “So, how’s things Jiwon?”

Something about the casual sunny disposition irritates him and he can barely hold it in.

“Listen, I know you know something about what’s going on here, so can you just-“

Angel (it’s what he’s started calling this weirdo in his head), just rolls his eyes but stays exactly where he is.

“You like it here?”

“What?”

“Do you like it here? This family little set up you’ve got?”

“Yeah, it’s....alright,” He starts, caught off guard by the question and unsure how to answer something like that now. “What’s that got to do with anything? Just tell me what the hell is going on?!”

“Just alright?”Angel echoes, tone disappointed and condescending. “Typical.”

“What?”

“Are you always this dense? Seriously?” Angel sneers now, crossing his arms in a way that’s threatening despite his smaller stature. “Actually, don’t answer that. I already know you are. It’s the whole reason you’re here to begin with.”

“I’m not dense! I get it! I know this isn’t right!” He snaps, running a tired hand through his hair. “This isn’t even my life. I’m not crazy. I’m a rapper, I live in Seoul, I have-“

“An album coming out, a girl and two guys you owe dates to, a manager who doesn’t really care about you as long as you’re on the charts and a family you rarely talk to. Empty chairs at empty tables and all that jazz.” Angel finishes with a wave of his fingers. “Yeah I know all about your other life, moron.”

He stumbles back, shocked by the truth for some reason, and it’s only when his hip hits the fucking Honda that he remembers Jae’s dinosaur snacks.

“I need to-“

“They can wait.”

“No, I need to get back. They’ll wonder where I am.”

Angel shakes his head, pointing to the very eerily still world around them. There’s a few families in the car park but they all frozen in mid motion.

“What did you do?”

“What does it look like?” Angel says. “It’s just suspended reality. So we can have our little chats without people thinking you’re nuts.”

“Is this real? Is this an alternate reality?”

“Something like that.”

He wasn’t expecting a real answer but that one sounds even worse.

“Why am I here?”

“To fix your mess.”

“What mess? Fix what?”

“I can’t tell you that. You can leave here when you figure that out for yourself. That’s how this works.”

“What about my other life? What about-“

“Suspended, for now.” Angel says, pushing off the Jaguar to stand next to him. “That sad little life will still be waiting for you when you’re done here.”

“What about the guy here? Me? Future me. Is it me right? I’m their dad right? Not some other guy?”

Angel smiles at the sudden panic in his voice. “Yeah it’s you. I mean, have you even seen your son lately? He looked like your twin even before he was born.”

He leans heavily against the Honda behind them, overwhelmed again but not in a good way.

“Do they know? That I’m not their real dad that usually lives here?” He asks quietly, as if the kids could even hear him from here. “Is this gonna mess them up too? Jae’s just a baby.”

“Ah. So now you’re asking some questions of relevance.” Angel says with soft pleased expression. “Too bad I can’t answer it.”

He wants to be angry but now he’s tired, the fight is gone and he just really wants answers.

“You can’t tell me anything? Not even who are you are or why you even know all this about me? No tips? Suggestions?” He chuckles bitterly, hoping Angel might spare him some sympathy.

“Do you really call me Angel in your head?”

“What? How do you know that?”

“I can read your mind, dumbass.” Angel says with a wide grin. “Anyway, No. I’m not allowed to tell you much else but you wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t messed up in your real world. Don’t make the same mistakes twice, that’s my tip to you. The rest is for you to figure out.”

Mistakes?

Which ones?

He’s made so many.

“Oh and Jiwon? The name isn’t entirely inaccurate even though it’s unoriginal as hell.” Angel adjusts his sunglasses again and then he’s gone, like a weird memory lost in the familiar roar of the Jaguar.

He’s not sure how long he stands there leaning against the Honda and breathing heavily. It takes a few good minutes before he slides back into the noise and activity of the world around him. It takes him three attempts to unlock the car door and find Jae’s dinosaur snacks.

“Feeling better?” Hanbin asks when he gets back.

It’s just a simple question but there’s Minji in her yellow overalls and Jae reaching for the T-Rex biscuits and Hanbin’s soft concern and a space on the red picnic rug that they saved for him.

This is more than just ‘alright’.

“Yeah, I’m good now.”

And it’s then that he realises: his migraine is gone.

[featherypromises]

My Brother's Keeper

At long last, this fic is finished. It never seemed completely done until now. Thank you for your support and patience! I apologize for the length, but I have no clue how to shorten it under a "read more" link yet. 💜

My Brother’s Keeper:

Jimin woke up the morning after their latest performance feeling more tired than when he had gone to sleep the night before. They had out done themselves with this most recent show. ARMY had screamed so loudly that they could barely hear themselves speak or sing. The love of the fans gave them the strength and stamina when they felt utterly spent. The vocalist stretched, feeling his neck and shoulders loosen and pop. He yawned, and immediately winced as his throat protested. Yes, he had sung his heart to ARMY, but he didn’t think he had overdone this much.

A pathetic sound shook him out of his thoughts. It sounded like a cross between a whine and a groan. Since Taehyung’s room was right next to his, it was a safe bet that the odd noise had come from there. There were no other sounds that he could hear. Jimin quietly moved past the closed door to Tae’s room and out into the common areas of the dorm. It was already after 10am… How had he slept so late?...

As he passed the kitchen, a colorful piece of notepaper caught his eye. He instantly recognized Hobi-hyung’s large bold handwriting.

{Jiminie!!! I know that you will be up long before Taehyungie will be. Rapmon, Yoongi-hyung and I will be at the new recording studio working on the new rap sections of the new songs. Kookie wanted to come along, once we woke him up enough. Oh, our little Jungkookie! He wanted to come and rap with his hyungs! Cute!

Just so you know, Seokjin-hyung left this morning to visit his family before we get really busy again., so the manager is taking him. He made breakfast before he left, so help yourselves sleepyheads! We will see you later.

Yoongi took our phones away, so that we don’t get distracted during recording… TT.TT He’s so cranky in the mornings… Just because I woke him by laying down over top of him… so grumpy. Oh, well… Enjoy your rest day!}

Well, that explained the unusual silence in the dorm. Jimin smiled at the idea of J-Hope-hyung waking Yoongi-hyung up that way. At times, Hobi-hyung’s infectious energy and dramatic flair reduced Min Yoongi to breathless fits of giggles, but sleep was sacred to the oldest rapper and he kept such abnormal hours when he was producing songs, that most people (that wanted to live until their next birthday) gave him a wide berth when he was sleeping.

Despite the closeness that the maknae line had with their hyungs, there were still some boundaries that you just didn’t cross over. With Seokjin-hyung, you should never leave food out of the fridge or forget to tell him that you used the last of an ingredient, so he could buy more. With Rapmon-hyung, you didn’t mess around during interview practice. Hobi-hyung, although usually the perpetual optimist and good-natured, was a strict dance teacher and the neatest member of BTS dorm. He also flatly refused to tolerate dirty clothes being left on the bathroom floor or in common areas. Min Suga-hyung… let’s just say the Maknae line learned quickly when not to pester or tease him. The rapper could be like a pressure cooker: his feelings clamped down and hidden until he was pushed beyond his typical stoicism, for good or bad.  

Jimin shook his head, at the thought of Hobi-hyung’s antics, as he went to get juice from the fridge. He found that he wasn’t very hungry, which for him was to be expected after a show, but the dryness and rough feeling in his throat needed to be dealt with. He glanced out of the window, the day was overcast and promised to be cooler than the last 3 days. The cold tile floor of the kitchen made him shiver.

He headed to the living room with his drink and sat cross-legged on the sofa, letting his neck stretch out over the low back of the couch. As he sipped at the juice, he looked through his upcoming schedule on his phone. Today he was free and tomorrow, but the next day was a promotional event for the new album.

From where he sat, he heard a door open and close again, followed by a shuffling sound of slippers. Taehyung must be up then. The second youngest member appeared in the entry to the common area, swathed in a thick robe and a warm looking scarf. His face was still puffy from sleep and he walked as though each step was a trial of endurance, whining pathetically.

“Jimbinie!!! I thig I’b dying! Take care of Tan for be when I’b gone!” The slightly younger boy dragged himself over to Jimin and promptly curled up on the couch with his head in Jimin’s lap, facing the other vocalist’s stomach, “I’b soooo tired and… RAESSSHH!!! I keep sneezing. I thig we and out of tissues. Ughhh… I used so many last night. My nose hurts…”

Jimin rolled his eyes at the younger singer’s ingrained inability to cover himself when he sneezed. No one’s ears or clothes were safe around Tae when his allergies got to him. Or… when he was sick…

With that thought, Jimin gently placed a caring hand onto the forehead of the squirming lump in his lap that was still bemoaning his bad luck.

“... And my face will never look the same as it did! I’b sure of it! Mby nose looks worse than when I got that sunburn last year. Do you thig that the Stylist-Noona could help…? Hmmm, maybe not…” Tae paused to unleash a violent double, “REFFFTT!!! HAESSSCH!”

Jimin blinked in the wake of the gale-force trauma. Taehyung had been so absorbed in his thoughts that again he hadn’t turned away at all and had sprayed Jimin’s face and outstretched arm as well. The older boy struggled with feelings of disgust for a moment, but just sighed, wiping his face with a clean part of the t-shirt he had slept in.

“Well, at least you don’t seem to have a fever. You just caught a cold, Tae-tae. Did you take any medicine?”

Tae thought about that idea for a moment, before shaking his head,

“Not yet. I hadn’t thought about it.” His face lit up like a light bulb, “Oh! We should ask Seokjin-hyung, if he has some!” The younger man always thought Jin had the answer, no matter what the question was. Jimin shook his head and started to reply, only to have his voice come out as a barely audible squeak. He cleared his throat with a wince. Definitely, a sore throat, then. Either he hadn’t noticed how tight his throat had been while he was performing last night or… could he be getting sick too? He could worry about that later. He tried again,

“Seokjin-hyung is visiting his family today. The others are brainstorming for the rap sections of the new songs at the studio.” Jimin chewed his lip thoughtfully, since he was the only member close by and he was older, he would have to be a good hyung to Tae until the others were back. He eased a protesting Taehyung off of his lap and pulled the fluffy throw blanket that decorated the couch over the younger member. “I will check to see if we have any medicine and then I’ll come right back.” Tae’s lower lip protruded about an extra inch, but he nodded in agreement.

Returning to the kitchen, Jimin began to comb through the cabinet for the members’ first aid supplies and medicines. He was forced to pause his search as an urgent tickle formed just behind the bridge of his nose. The feeling was so strong that he shuddered as it pitched him forward the soft but intense, "Hiiphhitshu!", sneezing into cupped hands. This amplified and changed the noise making it sound hollow and tired to his own ears. He sniffled against his wrist experimentally. Good, his nose hadn't started running. That would have been embarrassing. He finished searching first the kitchen, followed by the two bathrooms. For all his efforts, he had found only an empty foil pack of cold pills in the bathroom closest to Namjoon-hyung's room. Great..

Returning to the living room, Jimin found the younger member fast asleep, his arms clamped like a vice around a throw pillow. The sight made him smile. He had to go and get back quickly. Jimin wrote a quick note saying he was going to the small corner store down the road to get more medicine. He attached the note to the water bottle and left it on the table where Tae would see it.

Jimin wanted to get this errand done as quickly as he could, so that the others would have one less thing to worry about when they got back. He grabbed his comfortable sneakers and left, jogging down the sidewalk.

The day was darkened by granite colored clouds shifting overhead. Jimin felt a drop of rain fall onto his hair, then another hit his forehead. This drop rolled down his nose, triggering a pair of ticklish sneezes, "iiiphitchhhuuuuuh! Hiisshhu!" This time he felt his nose start to drip, he wiped the liquid away with a knuckle, and shivered as another drop struck his neck and ran down his back under his t-shirt.

It was then that he realized that he hadn't changed before leaving. He was in the same comfy pair of sweatpants and t-shirt that he had slept in. He hadn't even thought about bringing a jacket with him. He would have to move faster then… He began to run as more drops fell, changing the world around him.

About 5 minutes later, he entered the small, locally-owned store. He bowed an apology to the granny behind the counter for getting her floor wet. She brushed off the apology and said,

"It's no trouble. You shouldn't be out walking in this type of weather like this. Please be careful of your health."

Jimin grinned, touched by her kindness and sniffled before asking if she sold any cold medicine. She clucked over him and his wet clothes with grandmotherly gusto, and led him to a small section of tablets and dissolvable medicines. Jimin selected both nighttime and daytime cold pills and a few boxes of tissues. As he walked up to the register to pay, he happened to glance outside. His face fell; the rain was coming down a lot harder now.

"Um… Halmeoni? You wouldn't sell umbrellas here would you?" He asked sheepishly, feeling like a grade schooler who hadn't studied for a pop quiz.

The older woman shook her head,

"I'm sorry, young man, but we sold our last one this morning. I don't even own one to lend you, since I live just upstairs."

Jimin reassured her that he would be alright and tied the tops of the bags shut tightly to protect the purchases from the weather, before leaving the store. The rain was like a curtain, making it harder to see and hear. He was running, but he was still getting drenched. The lower parts of his pants were wet up to his shins. His shirt was worse, but the most annoying part was his hair being plastered to his forehead, dripping cold water into his eyes.

The temperature outside seemed to drop as he ran. His strong legs, used to dancing, did not do as well at dodging puddles. He hunched his shoulders against the chilly breeze that blew more of the downpour into his face, and pushed himself to run across the street to the turn off for the dorm.

A passing car heedlessly finished what the weather had started, sending a spray of water over Jimin, like a miniature tidal wave. With a soft curse, he kept running until he reached the overhang of the door to the dorm. Although he personally thought not many situations warranted this type of language, he was sure this was one of the few that did. He could feel the congestion building in his head, as he entered the warmer building.

Jimin slumped against the door as it closed behind him, his soaked shirt and pants clung to him like a second skin. He doubled over as the need to sneeze overpowered him again, his hair raining droplets as he shook from cold and the force of the sneezes,

"H'diiitssh! Hiiiissssh!" He sniffled and let out a small groan of displeasure. He dropped the bags inelegantly to the floor and stumbled as he tried to remove his shoes and peeled off his socks, heading straight to his room. Once he had changed into dry clothes, he really wasn't shivering that much… just more than he would like to be. Over the dry sweatpants and tee, he put on the warmest sweater he had. It was about two sizes too big for him, but that added warmth. His hair was still wet, but he really should check on Taehyung.

Upon entering the living room, he found Taehyung awake and watching Iron Man on the couch, he was giggling at the puns and sniffling by turns. When the younger member saw Jimin, he started.

"Whooah! What happened? I woke up and you were gone. Did you just get out of the shower?"

Jimin just smiled, amused by Tae's obliviousness to the note on the water bottle he held.   

"I had to go get a few things…"

Taehyung interjected with a loud,

"HAAAEFFT!", again aiming openly at the air in front of him. Jimin frowned, wiping water away that was dripping from his hair. He untied the bags and gave one of the boxes of tissues to the younger member. He popped 2 tablets into Tae's hand with a weary smile, "Here, these should help you to not feel so bad."

Taehyung thanked him enthusiastically, but noticed that Jimin's hand was shaking as he was handing over the pills… and the not so subtle sniffle into the cuff of his sweater sleeve.

"Jiminie! You aren't sick too, are you…?"

Jimin wanted to crawl under the carpet. Tae would pick now to pay attention… Fixing a smile on his face, he opted for a safe answer,

" It's rainy and cold outside, Tae." Taehyung frowned,

"But that's not what I asked?"

Jimin was saved from answering by the sound of a commotion by the front door. Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi-hyungs came in followed shortly after by Jungkook. All were mostly dry, but looked tired and ready to relax for a change. Jungkook and Namjoon-hyung were squabbling over English spellings for the rap verses.

Hobi yelled over the din that he was going to grab a shower.

"I don't have time to get sick!"

Jimin heard this comment and mentally kicked himself. None of the group had time to be sick right now. He was just going to cause problems for everyone, he should just hole up in his room until the worst was over. Better that, than to have the group incapacitated because of him.

Min Yoongi, ignoring the battle of Leader vs. Maknae, came into the living room. He blinked in surprise as he saw Tae and Jimin. His normally sleepy eyes taking in Tae's pale face and chapped nose, all the cold pills and tissues on the table, and finally Jimin.

"What in the hell happened to you two?"

Jimin blushed, but again was in-tae-rupted. Taehyung was holding out both arms to Yoongi like a giant sized toddler while still sitting on the couch. He barely recognized the sneeze that tore out of him like a freight train,

"HAAARESSSSH! HYUUUUUNGG! Welcombe back!"

The quiet rapper walked over to Tae and gently, but firmly lowered the younger man's arms. Yoongi-hyung's dark eyes searched Tae's face and the older member laid a soft hand on the vocalist's cheek. After a moment, Min Yoongi exhaled, apparently his examination showed no signs of fever. Taehyung closed his eyes, enjoying the attention from his hyung. This was poorly thought out, however as he received a hard flick to the forehead from the exasperated man in front of him. Tae clutched at his forehead and cried out with exaggerated protestations.

"Yoongi-hyung! Why would you do that to me?!? I'b sick!"

"Exactly, babo! What business did you have getting sick anyway? Damn it, this is going to be a long day." The older man rubbed at his own face vigorously with both hands, as if trying to wake himself up from a nightmare.

Hearing Taehyung's cry of indignation, the leader and maknae entered the living room. Kim Namjoon saw immediately that Tae was mostly fine, since Yoongi-hyung had been sure of this enough to reprimand the young vocalist. The leader knew the other rapper well enough to know that if Tae was really in bad shape, Min Yoongi would have been full of quiet concern, instead of lectures. Tae was pouting now with all his might, causing Kookie to burst into a fit of giggles. The leader smiled and added insult to injury by saying,

" Yoongi-hyung is right, Taehyungie! You should have taken better care of yourself." Rapmon glanced at Yoongi, whose attention had shifted to the other vocalist, who was trying his best not to shiver, without much success.

"Why is your hair so wet?" Demanded the older rapper, imperiously. Jimin flushed bright pink again and couldn't bring himself to meet the older man's penetrating gaze. When Jimin hesitated, Rapmon moved towards him purposefully. He felt Jimin's face and neck as the younger man shivered violently at the touch of his hyung's cool hands on his skin.

"H-hyung… his skin is like ice!" Namjoon actually stammered in his surprise. Yoongi-hyung's eyebrows instantly met each other in the middle of his forehead, the only visual indication of concern that he ever really showed. The older rapper joined the younger in front of Jimin. His long-fingered hands, felt carefully for the glands through Jimin's neck. He raised an eyebrow as the vocalist winced at the tenderness in his throat.

Jimin sighed in defeat. He had tried so hard not to give his hyungs any reason to worry about him. He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes and quickly blinked them back. Min Yoongi proceeded to feel the young man's forehead, frowning. He asked much more gently,

"What happened, Jiminie?"

Jimin inhaled, but instead of words, he suddenly released a congested sneeze into cupped hands. His head shook, not unlike a dog shaking off bath water, and the same type of result happened. RM and Yoongi shielded themselves with their arms as the raindrops were redistributed around the room. Jimin sat down hard and buried his face in his hands and murmured an apology.

He heard Rapmon's deep voice, "Don't." The one word had multiple implications.

Jimin raised his head shyly and saw four pairs of eyes looking at him. Tae had come off of the couch and was scooting along on his bottom until he was right beside Jimin. He wrapped his arms around the sicker boy and looked up at Kookie, Yoongi-hyung and Rapmon-hyung's faces.

"You weren't here and I wasn't feeling well. Jiminie-hyung went to get medicine." Tae said sweetly.

Namjoon's eyes widened,

"You… you were out?... in that?" His voice cracked in shock, as he gestured wildly at the window, showcasing the pelting rain still falling outside. Jimin nodded, a single tear trickled down his cheek.

"We should have checked on you both this morning and… Jimin… are you… oh no, don't cry, Chim-chim!" Jungkook looking shattered,  crouched down and wiped away the teardrop and the next two that fell, as he spoke. Yoongi-hyung's hand moved Kookie aside gently, and helped Jimin to stand putting an arm around the younger man's back.

"Namjoonie, get Jimin to bed, I'm going to make some soup for him and Tae. Keep him warm, we don't want him getting worse." The oldest rapper turned to Jungkook and told him " Kookie, go grab a towel and some of the cold pills for Jimin."  

Jimin,quiet until now, was pushed beyond his emotional limit. He had made such a mess of things. He felt at that moment that the earth swallowing him up would be preferable, to being guided by Rapmon from the living room. He broke down in heartbroken sobs.

"Hyung! I'm so sorry! I wanted you to not have to worry about Tae. But I just made things worse!" Tears were streaming down his cheeks and Jimin was pretty sure his nose was running too. Rapmon took a gentle hold of the young singer's shoulders, giving him a gentle shake.

"You never make anything worse. You, me, all of us. We are a team, we rise or fall together. You are doing your best just like we all are. Everyone needs someone. We are just lucky to have 6 people each that care more about us than anyone else in the world. And caring means showing your whole self to your family. Good, bad, all of it."

Jimin wiped his eyes on his sleeves, and sniffled, his breathing reduced to small, shuddering pants. Namjoon-hyung was still looking at him with kindness. Not angry or frustrated with him as most people would be, when dealing with such an inconvenience after a long day of work (which they loved in spite of the stress).

In Jimin's room, the leader of BTS pulled back the covers from the bed and helped Jimin to get into bed. Rapmon was not liking the lack of color in Jimin's face.

"Can you tell me how you are feeling?" He asked, not wanting to put additional pressure on the sick younger man,

"I want to be able to help…" after a moment's pause, he added, "It's a curse… if I am not helping, I am not alive." He grinned, showing off his dimples,

"Seriously, when you aren't feeling well, tell us. It gives me a good feeling, if I can help someone. Did you feel good helping Tae?"

Jimin nodded slowly, his emotional breaking point had come and gone, leaving only bone deep exhaustion behind it. He lay back against the pillows and sighed, as his hyung pulled the covers up around him.

"Okay, then, it's the same for all of us hyungs. Having someone rely on you is scary sometimes, but it's the best when you or Tae-tae or Kookie have an easier time because we could help you through something hard. This,..." Rapmon said, gesturing to Jimin's tissues and tear stained sweater,

"This is your "something hard" right now. Okay? I really want to help you feel better;  anything I can do to help, I'd love to make this easier on you." Slowly, Jimin reached out and took his leader's hand. Rapmon gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"My throat, it hurts a lot. It wasn't this bad earlier. My head is stuffy, and it's hard to breathe sometimes. I'm sneezing a lot, and tired, but I think I will be okay after food and rest."

Namjoon smiled at Jimin and ruffled his hair tenderly. Jimin felt the tell tale prickling feeling and scrabbled to get tissues in time, flinging himself away from Rapmon. He sneezed wetly into the tissues,

"H'phhhiish!! Isssh! Hih-hhhhssshuu!"

"Wow!" Namjoon applauded comedically. Jimin smiled falteringly, before turning serious, anxious eyes on his leader.

"You should go, Hyung… I don't want any of you getting sick because of me." The worse case scenario played out in his head in an instant, of 7 ill members unable to sing or dance properly, unable to greet fans and compounding illness with exhaustion. This thought chasm was sinking him lower into the same feelings of self-loathing and anger at his own weakness again.

To Jimin's utter shock, instead of shying away or agreeing with him, the leader of BTS pulled the younger man into a tight embrace.

"We are a team." Namjoon repeated firmly, "If I left you all alone feeling this way, I would never be able to forgive myself or call myself a leader. We love you, Jiminie! We can't and won't just abandon you in here. You'll never get rid of us."

There was a soft knock on the door, before Tae popped his head in.

"I'b coming in…" The other sick boy shuffled his way to the bed, and climbed in with Jimin. Jimin started to protest that he didn't want Tae getting worse, but Taehyung only smiled and cuddled up to his next oldest friend and said matter-of-factly,

"Suga-hyung is bringing soup and he told me to come in here."

The door opened to reveal Jungkook with the promised towel and behind him came Yoongi carrying a tray with two bowls of soup. Kookie began to dry of Jimin's hair at long last and placed the towel like a shawl over the older boy's shoulders.

Yoongi passed the steaming bowls to the two sick maknae line members and nodded in satisfaction as they began to eat. His hand came to rest on top of Jimin's head in a comforting gesture.

"No more keeping things from your hyungs…" stated Yoongi-hyung flatly, "Even if I take the others' phones away so that they focus for 10 seconds in a row, mine is still always on. We can't leave all the singing to Kookie, or he'll get more full of himself than he is already." The startled a laugh out of the sick pair.

Suddenly, the laughter was broken by a frustrated yell coming from the bathroom,

"Where the @#$! is my towel?!?!?" Hobi screeched.

Everyone turned to look at Jungkook, who shrugged, and burst out laughing. Jimin felt his insecurities fade as his family's laughter rang out through the dorm. With them, he was home.

[leaveharmony]

It’s so hard to type on the tablet so I did only the briefest of summaries at the time.  An account of random Tana encounters in NYC over supercard weekend, cut for length.

Anyway - I’d promised @lone-gunwoman-of-the-week a new york postcard, which with one thing and another I had forgotten entirely about until Saturday, when we passed a big rack of them outside a touristy place down the street and I stopped dead and pointed, “POSTCARD!”

We were on a trek to Macy’s at the time, looking to get mum an emergency replacement purse because hers had blown out its zipper with all the stuff she was carrying in it - the last straw was after Wrestlecon when she couldn’t find her Metrocard, and then it just gave up the ghost.

(Macy’s was way too expensive as an aside - we ended up going to K mart lol.  Those all closed here like two decades ago!)

So we got the postcard, and then a stamp at the other gift shop in the hotel...only I was in pretty rough shape so we decided to go back up to the room so I could actually write the postcard & address and such.  So we went back down to mail it, conveniently at the letterbox at the other end of the lobby.

Like I say, @joshi-hashi by total coincidence booked us at the same hotel where the whole roster was staying, so over the course of three days I ran into / saw, including but probably not limited to: Kazu, Ishii, Sho & Yoh, Yano, Tacos, Goto, Shingo, Naito, EVIL, Will, Shibata & his lions, Juice, Zack (we kept riding the elevator with him lol), Jay, Tama, Haku, Yujiro, Gedo, Jado, Taguchi, Rocky, Ren, Shota, Red Shoes, Sato, Marty, MiSu, Taka, Kota, Kagatsu & a few of the other Stardom girls, Sumie...

Again, I was in rough shape and mum was faring no better, so in the window of time between waking up and the show, we could have gone and done more tourist stuff but after the subway disaster on Friday, we elected just to stay around home base, Saturday.  And I needed to sit down, so we picked a spot on one of the long padded couches in the lobby to recoup a little.  Not a minute later, Tacos, Goto & Yano rounded the bend from the elevator - we’d somehow managed to time it so that we were sitting there as literally everybody was making their way across to MSG for the show.  Hand on heart, total coincidence...I just wanted to mail a postcard lol.  As obviously times when you can just sit there comfortably and watch the whole NJPW roster walk past are fairly limited in number, we elected to stay a while.  Kazu actually came from the direction of the doors but he did have a suitcase, so I have no idea where he’d been - he grinned at us when we waved though.  Shota smiled too, Kota managed somehow to smile, wave and bow without even slowing down because that’s just the kinda guy he is.  MiSu looked at us like we were nuts every time we waved lol but we kept doing it anyway.  Most didn’t notice - I always feel like being to forward is rude so we just kept to our seat & waved rather than trying to get selfies or start a conversation - everybody was obviously all over everywhere and busy.

I couldn’t help myself on a very specific occasion, though.  “We’ll wait til 3:30,” I said casually, fooling no one.  We had the end bench right by the little dividing wall that obscures the elevators; he emerged nearly right next to me and I sprang up like a jack in the box.  My hair was pigtailed and I had my hat on rather than the feathered headband & ponytail, and I was dressed like a normal human being rather than wrestling Cinderella, but he remembered me ^_^  I didn’t want to detain him or anything so we just clasped hands again & I wished him luck - though I guess it didn’t help much.  But I was so happy just to see him again, for what I figured would be the last (probably only) time casually.  Two really sweet Japanese ladies also spotted him on the way out and physically chased him down the lobby to say hi lol.  The pillars were a little in the way but we could see him beaming while they gushed over him, and then they took a selfie.  I guess they must have complimented his hair (which looked fucking amazing) because he told them getting it done for the show cost $300 lol.  It absolutely looked it.  We were still sitting there when they came back and of course they noticed my Tana shirt - they both had his shirts on too (I think he might have signed them on the spot cos they were both proudly showing me the autographs).  So we had a really lovely chat in what they could manage in english (much much better than my broken Japanese).  Rachel appeared not long after, summoned by my mention of Kota going past, and so we all talked a while.  I just.  I love wrestling lol and the kinship of wrestling fans.

Later, after Supercard (which was on whole at least live very good, apart from some really, really stupid decisions on ROH’s part) it was past midnight when we got back to the room; our airport shuttle was due to arrive at 3:05 last we’d heard, but mum had a text message waiting RE: a slight bump up to 3:15, something schedule or logistics related I guess.  So we figured that there was no point going to bed as we’d maybe get two hours’ sleep before the wake up call and it’d be better to use the time packing and getting everything arranged.  When more or less everything was, I went up to floor 12 to sit up at the common table with Elle & Rachel (admittedly I broke into a bit of a sprint when Elle texted to say Tana’d gone past lol).  By another total coincidence as we were sitting there loudly discussing the show, an absolutely lovely gentleman who works in what sounded like a v. important position with NJPW World happened to walk past and overhear.  He’s obviously got a vested interest, so he u-turned as I was saying “If someone had only just casually seen this as a first introduction they’d probably come away concluding New Japan is amazing and ROH is terrible.”

“New japan is amazing?” he echoed, to a chorus of Yes’s.  So we had a chat for about twenty minutes giving him general feedback, telling him how we all met cos of NJPW, how we first heard about it, watch every show live, showed him all our costumes for the show, etc.  He got a handle on Elle and Rachel’s names but kept calling me “Hiroshi” because he’d seen me the day before at Wrestlecon in my Tana dress lmao.   He was a real sweetheart - a fan turned employee, living the dream.  He thanked us for paying his salary, essentially lol.  I should have thought to ask him about putting out an english subtitled version of Shinsuke’s Wonderland interview XD

But I had to run not long after he left, cos I’d cut it a bit fine with 20 minutes or so before the shuttle was scheduled.  We weren’t sure if the driver would come looking or if we had to be outside, so mum checked the keycards while I ran to see if I could ask the doorman, figuring he/they would keep a better watch and know what to look for, or just know which way it would be.  That early in the morning there wasn’t a doorman, though.  So to play it safe we stayed by the doors just inside, keeping watch, figuring at about five min before the appointed time we’d go outside.  “The lobby seems so empty without all the wrestlers in it,” mum remarked.  I figured that late, everyone must have gone to bed already.

Not long after though, TAKA came in with uh...let’s just say ‘some lady friends’ and hope they were fully informed lady friends.  “There, happy?” I said to mum, looking back towards the door in time to see Kota heading for it with a few of the accompanying entourage I figure must have been staff, translators and officials - they were everywhere too, this weekend.  I thought for a split second, ‘Oh good, I’ll be able to congratulate him!’ before he faded to a gentle haze in the background, as the sun himself said something on the way past and walked on by the door, towards Macy’s.  I don’t even think I said anything to mum but she probably understood when I took off at a dead sprint, not even bothering to drop my suitcase handle, just towing it behind me like a little red wagon.  I blew past Kota without even looking at him (I’m so sorry dude!!!!) and went as fast as my poor abused knee could carry me the way he’d gone - he hadn’t gotten far, just tucked around a little corner by the entrance - I think he was gonna do another selfie or panoramic lol. 

Again, the man is fucking unflappable, as he didn’t even raise an eyebrow when confronted with a disheveled, panting nutcase in a trenchcoat and newsboy cap being smacked in the back of her legs w/ her own suitcase at the abrupt stop.  “We’re just waiting for our airport shuttle!” I blurted.  “So I get to say goodbye!”

He actually managed to look happy to see me, bless his heart lol.  He thanked me for the third time, for the doll I made him, and I just said thank you for everything.  Again - I don’t like to be too forward, I don’t even think I could bring myself to ask for a hug, I’m too shy & too much of a headcase wrt fear of being a burden or an annoyance.  But he came at me first, and when the Ace has his arms open to you, there is but one possible course, and that course is to throw yourself into them lol.  He is a wonderful hugger :’)  It’s like being wrapped in the embrace of everything that is good and pure in this world & that’s not even hyperbole, that was really how it felt.

I’m so glad I got to say goodbye.  I mean...it would’t have broken my heart, you know?  There’s always that “Oh maybe I’ll see him again at random” thought in the back of the mind but it’s utterly without expectation.  But I was blessed enough to have the chance to speak to him twice, by chance. 

It really was like a lil fairytale; my lil wrestling Cinderella dream come true in a way I never would have actually believed.

[oneofthemillionarmy]

The Impossible Order | Ch. 3

Summary line: Mr. Min is a stoic boss who will never outwardly show appreciation for you. Not until you’re gone does he recognize how much you do. And what you do matters to him.

ceo!Yoongi | best.friend!Hoseok | romance, fluff, angst, and stuff

Loosely inspired by Secretary Kim and this third bullet point of the prompt list

Start from the beginning | Last chapter

~•~

Yoongi never got a reply from you last night, but he did receive the reports at 4 in the morning. He walks in the office by 6:30 but your desk obviously has not been touched since yesterday afternoon. He tilts his head and walks into his office. Nope, you’re not there either. But his cup of coffee is.

He sits down to look at the coffee and look around. No one is here. No one is out there. He takes the cup of coffee and takes a sip. Yup, that’s the one. Quad venti vanilla latte. Two espresso shots in the bottom, two espresso shots on the top. Soy milk. Sugar-free vanilla syrup. No foam. Chocolate drizzle with latte art of a star. But it’s warm; and not quite right.

Yoongi hears a knock on the door and he sets down his coffee cup, “Come in.”

“Hey, Yoongs.” Seokjin greets him, awfully and scarily cheerful for a truly early morning.

“What’s up with your attitude? And why are you here?” Seokjin doesn’t need to come in until 8:30.

“Well. Considering that I got absolutely no sleep last night, gathering the reports and data for your board meeting today, I’d say I’m positively chipper. And don’t you dare call it an attitude, or else I’m gone for the rest of the day too. I’ll show you attitude.”

“What are you talking about? Where’s Y/N? You didn’t send me the reports. She did. You brought the coffee? What do you mean ‘gone too’? What’s going on?” Yoongi gets more and more heated per question. And, where is she?

“Woah. Slow down, man. Relax. Take a sip of the coffee.”

“No thanks. Something’s wrong with it.” Yoongi sits back and laces his fingers together, staring at the cup as if it were a disease.

“Oh. Well I reheated one of them that was still in the fridge. Maybe it’s not the same overnight.” Seokjin taps his chin, turning his head to look over to the fridge, “Probably should toss the rest of them then.”

“Where’s Y/N?”

“She emailed me last night. She told human resources that she’s taking a month off, for now. She doesn’t know if she’ll extend that to an entire sabbatical. I’m taking over for her for the rest of the week. Next week, she will have her intern replace her for the time being. Lucky for me, it’s already Thursday.” Seokjin turns on his tablet and opens his mouth, ready to jump into the reports with Yoongi, but Yoongi cuts him off before he even starts.

“What happened? Why is she taking a month off? Who’s her intern? Why didn’t she contact me?”

“Didn’t she? Check your emails. Maybe you missed it? Her intern’s name is Jeon Jungkook. He’s pretty green, but he’s been trained by her, so he’ll be fine.” But Yoongi already wasn’t listening about the intern. He looks through his emails, everything has already been read. Nothing from you. Nothing for him. And sure enough, the reports were sent by Seokjin.

He leans back roughly and takes a deep breath. Seokjin raises his eyes at Yoongi’s furrowed ones.

“Wait. What happened?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Because if she’s not here, it’s bad.”

~•~

You’re back at the hospital after going home to change and take a shower. You notified the school of Hoseok’s accident and his dance team as well. His director contacted you and told you that they decided to go with the track that you let Hoseok present to him yesterday. But his director asked for a few adjustments.

While you sit by Hoseok’s hospital bed, you bring your music equipment with you to work on the track for his showcase. Every once in a while, you get up to check in on Hoseok.

While you work on the track, you hear the door open. You turn around and see a gang of students peering in.

“We want to see Mr. Jung. We’re his dance class.” One of the girls says quietly. You nod and take your laptop up and bring your equipment by the window as his students walk in one by one. Looks like the nurse is only allowing a few at a time because the rest are still standing outside.

“What happened to him?” One of his female student’s sniffs.

“Car accident. He was heading home from the vet.” Your words trail off quieter every word. Reminding yourself that he’s here because of you.

“Vet? Was he taking Yeontan?” She asks.

“Yeah. How do you know Yeontan?”

“He shows us so many videos of you and your dog.” One of the students pipe up. Oh, Hoseok.

There’s a knock on the door and one of the students outside pops his head in, “Is it our turn now?”

“Yeah.” The students in the room shuffle on out.

“Who’s she?” One of the students ask the girl who was leaving.

“Mr. Jung’s girlfriend.” Wait, what?

“Oh!” As the next line of students file in, you see everyone intently stare at you as they come in and gather around Hoseok to see him. One of the girls sets down flowers by his bedside table.

“Um. Excuse me.” You whisper for their attention, “Where did you get the impression that I’m his girlfriend?” The students look at each other

“He shows us a lot of pictures and videos of you and your dog. And he always talks about you. We just figured.” The girl shrugs. The rest of the students raises eyebrows at her, and she just shrugs back at them.

“Oh. Okay.” You let it go after that. Verbally, at least. Your head was spinning. He apparently talks about you and Yeontan too much if he’s leaving that kind of impression.

~•~

After visiting hours were over, you headed over to pick up Yeontan.

When you get home, you have him cradled into your lap, humming soft and gentle tunes.

You open your laptop to continue working on the track. But you eye the number of emails popping up on the email icon. You sigh and click it open. 14 emails from Seokjin, 10 emails from multiple departments, 2 from human resources, and 26 from Mr. Min, 3 from Jungkook. You raise your eyebrows at the number of emails from your boss. You read your boss’ emails first. All titled “Your absence”; a constant thread. You decided to just read his last one and just go up the chain.

-          Why are you taking off a month?

-          Are you out of the country or just off?

-          Seokjin is an idiot. What exactly did you tell him do while you’re gone? He’s not doing it right.

-          The coffee in the fridge is bad now. Tell Seokjin to get the right one.

-          Please tell Seokjin where you get the coffee.

-          He doesn’t know where you get the coffee

-          I swear to God, if he doesn’t get the coffee, I’m firing him.

-          He’s got me drinking black coffee for now. It still tastes funny. Is this our office coffee?

-          Why are you taking a month off?

-          Why are you blocking my texts and calls?

You can’t help but feel amused at these emails. It’s been a long time since he’s spoken to you like this. You blocked his calls and texts since last night out of impulse, to be honest. Knowing him, he’ll still contact you on your time off. It’s understandable, considering the situation and environment that you were in at the time, but you should really unblock him; it’s kind of unprofessional. Even if he is. As you continue his emails, notifications pop up every time you open another one, showing your boss your read receipts. Wow.

-          Japan will be flying in tomorrow as we go through the jewelry fundraising dinner for the Children’s Home Project.

-          Will you be here for the fundraising?

-          Does this mean you won’t be attending the Queen’s Jubilee either? Or the Taehyung unveiling?

-          Do you really have to take a month off? Can you be back this week?

-          I’m getting pissed at your “I’m currently out of the office” replies.

You shake your head as his emails get more and more intrusive. Asking about the days taken off, telling you that it’s very unprofessional to not reply and block him even if you are currently off. Well it’s unprofessional and intrusive to harass your employee who’s currently on PTO; and one with long overdue vacation time, at that.

You don’t reply to his email just yet. You check in on other emails. The multiple departments apparently were directed by Mr. Min to provide you an update after every meeting or conversation made so you stay in the loop. Human resources checked in on your PTO requests, your intern’s temporary role, and apparently Mr. Min requested that they contacted you about your reasons for leave of absence. Seokjin also provided you an hourly update, at your request though, but every email ended with something regarding the coffee. His latest one seemed desperate.

-          He said he’d fire me, Y/N. Please.

You snort. Like Mr. Min would ever fire Seokjin. You can recall at least 15 times where Mr. Min threatened to fire Seokjin.

Your third email last night was to Jungkook, notifying him to take up the job while you’re gone. You sent him damn near everything that happened in the past month. He just needs to go down the list of documents you mapped out in terms of routine, importance, current projects, and the like. His latest however was inquired by Seokjin to see if he knew where you get Mr. Min’s coffee.

You straighten up your back, pop your elbows and knuckles, and cracked your neck. You look down at Yeontan, curled up and resting in your lap.

“Yeontan. Help.” His steady breaths just remind you that he’s in need of rest more than you. And with Hoseok in the hospital, you’re the last one who needs a break right now.

“Right.” You exhale a breath of resolve and start typing away.

~•~

Seokjin breathes through his last meeting with Yoongi for the day. He finally leans back on his chair and exhales loudly.

“What?” Yoongi snaps. Black coffee is not enough for him, that’s for sure.

“Being your assistant is not easy, man.”

“Having you as my assistant is no picnic either. Can’t even make a decent cup of coffee.”

“She said she’ll give Jungkook the coffee secret. You’ll have it next week.” Yoongi loosens his tie and glares at his emails. For the past two days, you don’t reply to him. He sees your read receipts and he’s only received one reply to you on his latest email on his thread. I’m currently out of the office right now. Ask Seokjin. In terms of the more personal ones, like why you’re gone, you just leave a vague, I need to take care of some personal things.

“Y/N has never been so irresponsible before. It’s throwing me off.” Yoongi expresses out loud. Seokjin’s head was rolled back over the chair but he lifts it up to stare at him, “She’s doing a pretty badass job if you’re asking me. Everything is nearly taken care of before the next morning. All we have to do is show up and report to you everything. You don’t see our emails, but she leaves a very detailed response.”

“So why doesn’t she respond to me?!” Seokjin raises his eyebrows at Yoongi’s raised voice, as well as the newly provided information.

“She doesn’t reply to you? I got a response in every one of my emails.”

“Let me see.” Yoongi stands up from his chair to walk around to Seokjin as he takes out his phone to show him one of your latest emails. As Seokjin is your witness, your emails are nearly step by step. You’ve looped Seokjin into all the emails you’ve received from the other departments, replying to Seokjin and the departments at the same time on next steps.

“If she’s replying to all of us in the same detailed manner, there’s probably no need to respond to yours because we’re the ones who will directly notify you. She’s currently off right now, man. Right now, it’s not her job to answer you, it’s ours. You probably ask the same things we are. Plus, after all of this, I’m sure she needs a break.”

Well. Seokjin’s reports and questions are actually pretty valid. Most of Yoongi’s are simply, why are you gone, and, when are you coming back? So far, the work-related questions can be answered through Seokjin. But that might be because you’re coaching their words.

Yoongi scratches his head as he walks around his office.

Seokjin looks at him before standing up, “Come on. You need to eat.”

~•~

You enter Hoseok’s home with his spare key he provided you. While he’s in the hospital, you figure you can help him house sit. You drag all of Yeontan’s things into the house. You exhale out of exhaustion and collapse on the floor after you’ve taken your shoes off. After taking a minute to breathe and rest, you pick yourself off from the floor and ready to bring Yeontan and your items with you.

What surprises you is the number of dog-related items he has. He has the same dog bowl dispenser as you, a doggy bed. Chew toys and dog bones stray around the living room floor. How many times has he dog sat for you?

“Well, I guess I won’t be needing these, huh, Yeontan?” Yeontan yips and trots over to his bed and lays in it. He’s more familiar with the lay of the land than you are. You’re slightly annoyed that you brought all of this over without knowing you didn’t even have to in the first place. But you halt your annoyance when something dawns on you. I never really noticed how much Hoseok does for me…do I?

You drag yourself over to sit on his couch, watching Yeontan drag the stuffed chew toy over to his bed and wrestles with it. Yeontan is so at home here. And you’re still sitting up straight on his couch. Whereas if he were over at your place right now, his feet are already up on the couch. You feel so foreign here.

You get up from the couch and decide to explore everything. Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom.

His kitchen sink is clear, but he piles every dish he ever owns up in the drying rack, rather than drying them and putting them back up in the drawers. His fridge is adequately stocked but it looks like some stuff was recently bought. Some raw meat is in the fridge is starting to brown. I’ll have to make a note to help him clean his fridge out.

He has a modest little dining table which one side is pushed against the wall across from the kitchen. Three chairs take up each side, with two chairs pushed out, obviously frequently used. One of them is obviously Hoseok’s, but the other has a very tall and fluffy sitting cushion. Wonder whose that for. Lined and stacked against the wall are the pile of snacks you remember that he and you practically survived on during college. Heh, he still eats those?

You pull out his chair further to sit down. You hear Yeontan scamper over and hop up on the chair with the fluffy cushion, conditioned to expect a piece of meat from whatever dinner Hoseok cooked up.

“You’re a spoiled, little rascal, aren’t ya?” You ruffle Yeontan’s fur before playfully tapping his nose. You grab a bag of chips and open it up as you keep moving.

His bathroom is pretty well kept. A lavender-scented bathroom. Now that you think about it, lavender scented home. His personal hygiene items are hidden behind the mirror storage cabinet, but on the sink platform, he has a doggy toothbrush and toothpaste, as well as dog soap and hair brush.

“You really have everything, don’t you, Hoseok?” You mumble to yourself. You smile at the how caring your best friend is. You don’t deserve him, really.

He’s only one guy, so he only has one room. You don’t think he’ll mind you using his room for the time being. You open the door to see the heart of Hoseok. His furniture is light and made of bamboo. It’s very reflective of his clean, gentle, and peaceful nature. If you had to compare Hoseok to anything, it would be bamboo. Light, strong, and giving. He brings a sense of calmness to you.

Your hands glide over the smooth wardrobe over to his bookshelf, but he seems to collect more trinkets than books. You note his stuffed animals, empty cologne bottle, three different books that you’ve recommended to him, his first pair of dance shoes when he got his first real dance gig…you’ve given him all these things.

As a pattern starts to form, you look around the room. Pictures of you two together. In the drama team in college where you two met, his first dance performance, your first mixer, etc. Important memories.

You look back at his trinkets. You gave him that cologne bottle after college. It’s empty now, but he hasn’t thrown it away. You won that stuffed animal at the fair when he failed the fair game. You gave that to him.

“Hoseok…” Your heart clenched as you read the implications of this room and the rest of his house.

He loves you. And you’ve been far too stupid.

~•~

You dart out of his house for a moment and take a second to compose yourself. Yeontan is left behind the door, yipping for his owner to return into this sanctuary which the homeowner will envelop his owner with love.

Your poor, dear friend. How long? For why?

You love your friend immensely, but how could you possibly be so blind to how he felt about you? You love your friend, and yet you find the largest gap between how he treats you and you treat him. You should be ashamed and guilty. But should you? He is free to love you as much as you are free to not reciprocate. But that doesn’t mean lead him on; or take advantage of him. But that would require your acknowledgement of his feelings for you, which you never have until now. Did you even? You can’t come up with a single moment in time where you believe you may have led him on. Have you taken advantage of him? Sure. Loads of times, but it was never based on his love. It was a best friend who knew exactly what you need, when you need it, and prepared to provide. You never thought of it beyond such.

I can’t be guilty if I never knew. You tell yourself. But really? Are you sure you never had a clue?

**

“Hoseok! Help meeeee!” You groan as you hit your head down to the book opened up on the table.

Hoseok comes flying in with a plastic bag and a carton tray with boba, “I’ve brought refreshments!”

As soon as the bag drops in front of you, you face lights up and you cry in relief.

“Wait,” he pulls the food away from you as you whine, “You’re not to be distracted. This is your last final, and I’ll be damned if you fail general. This is your last hurdle before your dad finally agrees to you becoming a music producer.”

“I can’t focus, man! And yeah, it’s easy. It really is. But I’m ready to be done. To be out there!” you gesture dramatically outside to the window, “I want to be part of that world!”

“And you will. After tomorrow. You’re telling me, you really can’t buckle down one more night. You’re at the last leg of the finish line.” Hoseok pokes the boba lid for you and hands it over.

“It’s that thing where you’re just ready to be done. It makes me restless.” You whine, but your whine turns into sounds of content as you sip through the straw.

“Y/N. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna get through this. You’re gonna get an A…and if you can get through this last study session and ace the final, I’ll take you to Moonshine.” He bribes.

Your eyes widen before you squint in disbelief, “Moonshine? Michelin-star restaurant, Moonshine? You’re not serious.”

“Yes, I am. I’ll break all my piggy banks if it will get you to study properly.”

“All of them?”

“Yes, all 15. I’ve been saving them since I was 5.”

“That’s so cute!”

“Ok. Enough. Study.” You really thought he was joking, but you still buckled down, moved enough by his sincerity alone.

**

“Come on, Y/N. It’s ok.” Hoseok soothes your back as your hysterical sobs echo through the courtyard.

“Physics. General physics. I barely passed in high school and now I’ve even failed.” You wipe your tears and blow your nose, “My chance to even land a decent career is over. I’m gonna be working a fast food chain now.”

“Woah, Y/N, slow down. It’s not that serious. It’s one class. This is your sophomore year. You’re telling me that one general physics class, physics in which your career path is nowhere near close to requiring it, will need you to ace general physics? My dad says that all jobs need is a degree, not the classes you take.”

“Yeah, well my dad says no music. What future do I have now? I’m so stupid.” Hoseok stays quiet for a moment, knowing that a deal is a deal, and you take those pretty seriously.

“Y/N. Your future is not over. Your future is so bright, it’s surprisingly brighter the sun. You may not be able to do music as a career, but don’t you ever let that get in the way of the passion you actually have. That, your dad can never take away from you. And if you lose making music, that’s worse than never having a job to do so in the first place. Your passion is what keeps your days from being gray. So, you need to hold on to it. Like I will always hold on to you.” Hoseok wraps his arms around you and pulls you close as you sob into his neck.

“That’s it. There you go. All over the neck. That’s right. Mmm, just like that.” Hoseok teases. You start laughing and crying at the same time, “Stop it, it sounds so weird.”

“Can’t be weirder than the feeling of someone’s tears and snot on my neck.” Hoseok says when you pull away, wiping his neck. He stands up and brings you up too, brushing your hair to look less like the nest it is, “Come. Dress yourself to the nines, Y/N! I’m taking you to Moonshine.”

“We really don’t have to do that. Let’s wait until we get ourselves our first real jobs first. I’m good with going anywhere. Let’s just grab some chicken and beer.”

“Nah, nah, nah. My girl deserves the best. And I’m ready. My piggy banks are all broke now. We’re going.”

“Hey Hoseok,” your inquiry halts his attempts to skip across the courtyard with you, “You didn’t really break piggy banks that you’ve had since you were five, did you? I didn’t even get an A.”

“Yup. But I was going to take you no matter what grade you got anyway.” He said, enunciating the p. You pout and bury yourself in his chest. He instinctively wraps his arms around you and starts laughing when he hears you sniffling, “Don’t cry, Y/N. It’s just money. Money does not grow on trees, but it’s not gone forever too. It’s fine. And this is important. You’re sad and that’s not okay with me.” You wrap your arms around his waist and start bawling.

“Hoseok!” you literally cry out his name and he laughs as he pets your head, shushing you to calm down.

“You’re the most adorable human being on earth.” You hiccup, pulling away from his chest.

“I’d beg to differ. You’ve never met yourself, have you?” He tilts his head to look at you, “You’re worth it, love.” He kisses you on the forehead before pulling you for another tight hug.

**

You clutch your chest as pain flows from your heart to your eyes. You’re absolutely disgusted with yourself right now. To be so blind. Or, if not blind, ignorant. Probably willfully ignorant. It’s easier to be okay with the things he does for you if you don’t recognize the underlying reasons.

Did you ever like him? Of course.

Like that? Possibly.

Did you love him? Of course.

Like that?

   Probably not.

Next chapter

[livelovelaug-h]

More than mistakes part two

Words- 1,380

Warnings- alcohol abuse.

Sam x reader but they're not together anymore atm

You, Kevin, Sam, and Dean were driving for a while when Dean took a stop to eat. You guys were sitting outside when Dean spoke up to you:

"You haven't eaten in awhile, Are you sure you don't want a burger they're really good"

"I'm fine Dean, thank you".

"It's not good to not eat" Sam said.

"It's also not good to not look for your family but you still did that."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Not here guys," Dean said.

"What Happened to you guys"?

"Why don't go you ask Sam's new girlfriend".

"Y/n-" Sam started to say but Dean cut him off-

''I said not here"

"Fine" you rolled your eyes and shut up.  

A couple mins later-

"Are you kidding me? You're kidding me."

"What? Is it too much to ask if we can swing by and check on my mom?"

"Swing by"? It's a day's drive in the opposite direction. You know that, right?"

"Yes. I understand we're in a hurry."

"Okay, well, then, what's the problem?" "Channing's broken neck is my problem! As in I'd rather not see my mom twisted into a corkscrew. -"

''Kid's got a point, Dean." Sam said.

"- Stay out of this. Kevin, your mom is fine."

"How can you possibly know that?"

"Because Crowley needs her to be, okay? In fact, he's probably got the place stacked with bodyguards right now, protecting her so that when you do show up, they'll pounce on you both."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" She's bait, man, plain and simple. "And you want to swim right up and bite the hook? Look, we have got Crowley by the short and curlies, okay? All we need to do is find the tablet, whip up the spell, and -- boom! -- Sunshine and sandy beaches."

"Dean, my mom's all alone. She's surrounded by demons. Can you really not understand why I want to make sure she's okay?"

"Son of a bitch. Fine. Let's go."

"Actually I'm gonna sit this one out. I'll meet you guys later."

"No that doesn't sound like a good idea we just got back". Dean said.

"It's okay I'll be fine Dean. I'll see you in a couple of days".

"Call me every day so I know you're okay".

"I will Dean".

~~~~~~~

3 pm

You got a motel room and went to a liquor store. You knew that after everything that's happened, you really needed something to get rid of the pain. You got two bottles and went back to your room. You drank and drank and drank until you couldn't feel anything and then some more. You were a mess and still hurt even know you were drunk. You drank a whole bottle and a half. That is going to be one helluva hangover tomorrow.

Buzz buzz buzz, buzz

"Ughhhhhh" you woke up and your head hurt so bad and now you kept hearing some loud vibrating noise.

Buzz buzz buzzzzzz

It took you a minute to realize it was your phone on the nightstand. So you reached over and answered it. It was Dean. You just missed his call and it said you had 5 missed calls from him. You also saw it was 11 am. You think you fell asleep around 8 p.m. So you slept for about 15 hours.

You called Dean back.

"Y/n?"

"Hello Dean"

"Why haven't you been answered my calls"?

"Dean I was sleeping". "For almost a whole day?" "Yeah well I had some alcohol yesterday and that helped me sleep" "How much did you drink?" "Few cups. Don't worry I'm fine. What about you? Did you guys get the demon tablet?" "Um, Not yet but right now we found a case and we were wondering if you wanted to come along." "Look I know things aren't great with you and Sam right now but he still cares." You Laughed. "Thanks, Dean but I think I still need some time to myself but I'll see you in a couple of days."   "Alright, take care of yourself and still call me every day. "Sure thing Dean, goodbye." But you definitely didn't take care of yourself. In fact, you haven't eaten in a week or drank anything but alcohol. You even passed up another hunt. Now Dean and Sam were coming to see you. Great. You took a shower so you would at least be presentable. You still seemed pale and too thin but hopefully, they wouldn't notice if you wore a big shirt. Knock knock It's time; you opened the door and put on a fake smile. "Hey guys" "Hey y/n," Dean said and pulled you into a big hug. When he like go you backed up immediately saying "come on in". "You want a beer?" "Yea sure" you went over the small fridge and Dean followed you. You knew Dean was going to freak out when he saw the fridge. "Wow, you opening a brewery in here or something?" "No. I just have a few drinks a night". You lied. He nodded. "That's more than a few" You started walking away when you almost passed out and fell. Sam caught you. "Y/n are you alright?" You ripped your arm away. "I'm fine, it's not like you care anyways" "I still care" "Could've fooled me" Dean took a sip of his beer and said he needed to get something from the Impala. "Well maybe if you weren't dodging us the last two weeks then maybe-" "I wasn't dodging anyone! I was taking time off because I spent my last year in purgatory. Your not the only one who can get time off " "Here we go again, have you even tried putting yourself in my position"? He asked. "You know I thought about it, but I couldn't because I would have never met anyone else knowing the women I 'love'- you put love in air quotes- just disappeared!" "I THOUGHT YOU DIED". "and I figured you would be happy for me" "Let me ask you this- do you still love me?" You said with tears in your eyes. He had tears too but why? He clearly didn't care for you. "I- I don't know my feelings are everywhere right now". "Do you still love her?" "Idk... maybe". "Well, then there we have it," you said and walked out the door. You went to the side of the building that had a big dumpster. You were crying hard and you started punching the dumpster. You didn't even care if it hurt or that your hands started bleeding. "UGHH" Punch "Y/n? Y/n stop". Dean came over to you; pulled you away and sat you down on his lap on the floor. You were sobbing so hard you didn't care where you were you just needed to let it out. "Shh, it's okay I'm here for you. Let it out" After about 8 mins you calmed down a bit you got off of him. "I'm sorry" "It's fine, really. Why don't me and you go get something to eat." "I'm not hungry" "I know you're not but you still have to. When's the last time you ate?" "I'll eat soon, let's just go back inside." When you went in you went straight to the bathroom to clean your hands up. Dean went to check on you for a minute and went back out to Sam. "Why don't you go get us something for dinner?" "Yeah. Okay" ~~~~~~ Sam came back and you guys ate. Well, you barely ate. "Hey, do you mind if we stay here tonight?" "No, it's fine. Is it okay if I share with you tonight Dean?" "No, it's fine" "Thanks, goodnight" ~~~~~~~ ~In The morning~ You woke up crying and sat up seeing Sam wasn't in bed. Probably on his morning run. You were about to get up when you felt Dean grab your hand. You turned around "Y/n what's wrong?" "It's nothing Dean I don't want to bother you" "come here. You will never bother me" he was pulling you to his chest. "I just feel like I have no one left". "You have me". "You need someone that isn't broken". "Your not broken". "We just got back from purgatory we're not fine". "Then we'll be not fine together". "Thank you".

Part 3 coming soon :)

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