#i did not receive a good grade in blood test. emotional toll of this was huge.

[verlake]

worst patient at the clinpath blood collection point today.

[bae-leth]

A really long Miklan and Margrave Gautier headcanon

Is this how you submit longer asks? This is my first time, so I’m really not sure. It got a bit long and I’m really sorry about that. I got carried away. This contains spoilers for Miklan and Sylvain and has a lot of my own ideas scattered within it. I don’t know how old Miklan is, but he looks 21-25ish, so I just went with 25. I also don’t know when crests manifest, so I’m guessing it’s something you find out at birth? Correct me if I’m wrong.

Miklan is a character that I’m really interested in. He was just another victim of the crest system, and it must have been brutal to be abandoned by his family because of something out of his control. From the moment he was born without a crest, his fate was decided. I ended up coming with a small backstory for him and his father. 

He probably didn’t understand what was going on as a child. It’s likely that his father treated him well before Sylvain was born because Miklan was his only child and heir at the time. There was no guarantee that Margrave Gautier would ever produce a crest-bearing child, so he had to raise Miklan to be the next head of the family. 

He provided Miklan with the best education he could and hired skilled warriors to train his son. He spent countless hours teaching Miklan about what it means to be the head of the family, of what it means to be a leader, of what it means to be a noble. Maybe Miklan even had a fiancee seeing how Ingrid already had a betrothed at such a young age. 

Miklan was introduced to his future wife at age 5, and while he didn’t understand what it meant to be engaged to someone, he liked her. She was three years older than him, nice, and liked a lot of the same things five year old Miklan did. Due to his status of a noble and future heir, Miklan didn’t really have that many opportunities to interact with children his age. The moment they met, something clicked and he spent the rest of the visit with her talking about anything and everything that came to his mind. She had a nice laugh.

Life was perfect for him. Miklan was surrounded by loving parents and loved spending time with the girl he was to marry. He was a noble and his family had no shortage of money. Anything he wanted, he got, but he rarely felt like he was missing something. There was not a cloud in his sky. 

But, I’m sure Miklan’s lack of a crest was a sore spot and a major source of shame for Margrave Gautier. Crests were important in the status quo in Fodlan, and especially for the Gautier family. Their family had always placed great pride in their crest. Perhaps Margrave Gautier never manifested a crest either, the first head of family to not have one in a very very long time. Had his youngest brother not died from illness, had his mother not become infertile due to the same disease, and had any of his three other younger siblings bore a crest, he never would have been able to claim the title. Growing up, Margrave Gautier couldn’t go a day without being reminded that he was inferior to his brother. 

“Did you hear that the next Gautier heir doesn’t have a crest?” 

“What a shame that the only child with a crest died. The Goddess can be cruel sometimes.”

“I’m sure that his father must be disappointed. The Gautier family did value their crests so much.”

It drove him mad. He worked and trained night and day, sacrificing meals and sleep to try and better himself so that he could prove that he was worthy despite not bearing a crest. But, no matter how hard he worked, no matter what he did, no matter what, the truth was that he did not bear a crest and that was it. It was clear in his father’s face, clear in the other nobles’ mocking jeers and mock sympathy, and clear in the way that all of his achievements were overshadowed by the lack of a crest. He tried to escape the system, but instead he became like Sisypus who was forced to roll a boulder up a hill only for the rock to roll back down the hill before he could reach the top. All of his struggles were futile and he willingly let himself fall back into the system. I like to think Margrave Gautier was also a victim of the crest system.

When he became the head of the family, he thought that if he could produce a crest-bearing heir, his honor would be restored. So, when Miklan was born without a crest, he was crushed. He still loved his son, his beautiful newborn child, but there was always a small voice at the back of his head that whispered in his ear. 

“A child without a crest is worthless.” He tried to push it to the back of his mind, but it was always there. I think that although he loved Miklan, he unconsciously gave up on him. Margrave Gautier may have provided Miklan with a good education and trained him to be the next head of the family, but you can see that Miklan’s stats show that he isn’t proficient at lances which is the Gautier’s holy relic. He didn’t even bother to try and train Miklan to use it. Though you could argue that it would be useless since Miklan couldn’t wield it anyways.

He couldn’t ignore the others’ whispers either. 

“Oh my, did you hear? Margrave Gautier’s son also doesn’t have a crest. I wonder if the margrave is cursed?”

Cursed. Perhaps he was. All he wanted was a child with a crest. He needed a child with a crest. In the end, it became an obsession, a manic craze. 

Miklan and Sylvain weren’t his only children. The year after Miklan was born, his wife gave birth again. Stillborn.

The third child was miscarried. He probably started to give up at this point, after all, he’d already had three children and two were dead upon arrival. It must have taken a major emotional toll on him, having to live through the deaths of two of his children within two years. During this time, he paid extra attention to Miklan, ensuring that his remaining child was safe and healthy.

But then, the fourth child was born, healthy, with a crest. The Goddess had heard his fervent prayers and blessed him with a crest. His name was Sylvain Jose Gautier. 

This was the one. This was his future heir, his shining beacon of hope. And in that moment, Miklan was all but forgotten in Margrave Gautier’s mind. 

Ok! Now back to Miklan. He was probably happy to have a sibling, a sibling who was alive. I headcanon at him being around six when Sylvain was born. He was giddy with joy at the idea of having a partner in crime after being alone for so long. But, of course, this wouldn’t be the case.

Margrave Gautier would spent all his time doting on his crest-bearing child, making sure he was safe and well taken care of. He couldn’t lose this child.

Young Miklan would have noticed that his father wasn’t spending as much time with him anymore, but he wouldn’t have realized that it was because of the crest until much later. He thought that maybe if he worked harder, trained harder, his father would pay more attention to him. Miklan was always an obedient and hardworking child. But, now, he spent hours training and training, never getting a bad grade on his tests, always receiving the highest of praises from his instructors. But history repeats itself and to Margrave Gautier, Sylvain’s light is so bright that Miklan is completely outshined. 

Seeing how Miklan was able to assemble a group of bandits and be successful in his plunders, I think he probably has pretty good leadership skills on top of being educated in tactics. In different circumstances, Miklan could have been highly successful. He’s a natural leader, charismatic, and incredibly hard working, but instead of nurturing his strengths, Margrave Gautier uprooted him like a weed to make room for his flower even though there was enough land for them both to coexist.

Miklan didn’t find about why he was being ignored until he overheard nobles gossiping in at a party. Then, it finally all makes sense. He was being replaced by Sylvain. Although, Miklan is a smart kid. There’s no way he never realized that Sylvain was being favored because of his crest. Instead, he went into denial for as long as he could because he couldn’t accept the truth. Naturally, if Sylvain was born with a crest, the Sylvain would be the one to inherit the title of Margrave, the position which Miklan has shed blood, sweat, and tears over to prove that he was capable. 

But now, he’s angry. He’s frustrated. He’s jealous. He’s resentful. Everything he’s ever done has now gone to waste all because his brother was born with a crest. Sylvain will never have to work for anything. Sylvain will never be looked down upon because of something outside of his control. Sylvain will never have to prove himself. 

And then a terrible thought comes to him. If Sylvain died, then everything would return to normal. He feels like a monster the moment he realizes what that meant. He couldn’t hurt his baby brother like that, not when Sylvain toddles up to him and looks up him adoringly with those large eyes of his and calls him “Mik” in that giggly voice of his. But, he can’t help but think and it only gets worse as the years go on. 

He thinks when he sees his father smile lovingly at Sylvain. He thinks when Sylvain makes eyes and coos at Lady Galatea. He thinks when he sees Sylvain brightly smiling while surrounded by a gaggle of rambunctious friends. He thinks when all of the nobles gather around Sylvain and predict a bright future of the boy. He thinks when he corners Sylvain and asks him why he isn’t taking his studies and duties more seriously and ten year old Sylvain stares up at him and replies, “Because it doesn’t matter.”

Hate continues to fester within him like a tumor. It’s barely noticeable at first, but it’s there, growing more and more each day, unhindered, killing him, killing the kind and cheerful Miklan until all that’s left is a mess of hatred and a boy who’s far too lost in his own jealousy and insecurities. 

So much tragedy could have been prevented had someone simply stepped in to check on him, but no one ever came. Miklan was alone in his internal battle and it was a matter of time when the devil in him won the war. He went through the latter half of his childhood and the beginnings of his teenage years, some of the most important developmental years, alone with only his demons to guide him. 

One day, he sees Sylvain leaning over the well. He doesn’t know what comes over him, but he takes a quick look around before shoving Sylvain as hard as he could. A wounded cry bounces off the walls of the well, and Miklan is shocked back to his senses as he stares in horror at what he’s done. He’s afraid to check so he runs, runs until he reaches his room and locks the door. Curiosity drove him to peek outside the window to see servants hauling the young Gautier out of the well, face purple and bleeding, arm twisted at an unnatural angle. And he cries alone, terrified at the person he’s become because there’s a small voice in the back of his mind that had hoped Sylvain was dead. 

Sylvain tells Margrave Gautier that he lost his balance while looking into the well, but Miklan knows that Sylvain knows. 

Things only continue to get worse. Miklan leaves Sylvain alone in the forest when they went hunting together. Sylvain tells Margrave Gautier that he had wandered off by accident. Miklan shoves Sylvain down a flight of stairs. Sylvain tells Margrave Gautier that he tripped on the carpet and fell down the stairs instead. Miklan impales Sylvain’s chest while sparring. Sylvain tells Margave Gautier that it was his fault for not paying attention.

Why didn’t Sylvain ever blame him? After Miklan’s realization that he was being replaced, he began to distance himself from his brother, from the reminder of his failure. Despite sharing the same blood, there really wasn’t anything else to their relationship other than this cycle of hurt. But, Sylvain never confronted him about his behavior nor did he blame him for anything. Miklan would have prefered for his brother to retaliate compared to the passive approach Sylvain took on. It would have hurt less. 

But instead, Sylvain comes up to Miklan one day as he’s studying and pulls up a chair next to him. Gently, he lays his head on Miklan’s shoulder without a word, soft red hair tickling Miklan’s neck.. Why he didn’t shove Sylvain off of him, he doesn’t know, but they stay like that until until the room is cast awash with gentle red glow of the setting sun. 

“I’m sorry.” Is the last thing Sylvain says to Miklan before he stands up and leaves the room. That’s the closest they’ve been in years and the last time they’ll ever touch each other until Sylvain pierces the Black Beast’s heart many many years later.

I think Margrave Gautier still loved Miklan, but was so enamoured at the idea of restoring his honor with Sylvain that he neglected his other child. Why was Miklan disowned when Sylvain was 16? Was Margrave Gautier waiting for Sylvain to come of age to become his heir? Then why disown Miklan when he could have just stayed in the family? Perhaps Miklan went too far and got caught and Margrave Gautier who feared for Sylvain’s life, banished Miklan. According to my headcanon, he would have been twenty one. 

He never says goodbye to Sylvain, not that it would have had any meaning behind it. He doesn’t get the chance to see his parents one more time. He’s just thrown out. 

How lost would he have felt. Where would he go? What would he do? Deep down, he knows this is because he couldn’t control himself, because of his jealousy, but instead, he blames Sylvain because if he hadn’t been born with a crest, none of this would have happened. He blames his father for abandoning his child. He blames everyone else for putting so much value on the crests.

Maybe he sneaks into his fiancee’s residence, climbs up to meet her at her balcony, to ask her one last question because now that he’s been disowned, he’ll never get to marry her. He asks her (hypothetically at this point because the news hasn’t broken out yet) if she could love him if he couldn’t become Margrave Gautier. 

Silence. 

So he leaves as a broken man with a broken heart and a broken life. Later on, he finds out that his father had sent a letter calling off the engagement and that the girl had already known about his situation.

We all know he forms a bandit groups later, but what if he finds a family there? A group of bandits who’ve been hurt by the crests or need to steal in order to survive. He’s notorious. After all, he’s Miklan Anschutz Gautier, the former heir to the house of Gautier and a man with incredible leadership skills and strength. They flock to him and while he doesn’t realize it until much later, it’s some twisted sort of a family for him. They steal, murder, and hurt to survive, and yet he finds that he’s happier here than anywhere else. He’s treated normally here. He’s noticed. 

How ironic. He was once trained to destroy groups like this, and yet, he’s leading one now. It gets to his head. Once upon a time, Miklan was nobody, ignored like he didn’t exist, but now, the kingdom deemed him important enough to deploy its troops to try and take him down. He was strong. He was capable. He would show them what they missed out on. He would ruin the people who hurt him.

Stealing the Lance of Ruin is far too easy. The Gautier residence is like the back of his hand to him and he watches as his men cut down the guards in a sneak attack, not batting an eye as they called out to their former master to spare them. He notes that they were the same ones who dragged him out of the mansion after he was disowned. Before long, he’s face to face with his enraged father. Miklan disarms him easily before snatching up the lance, feeling it tremble and buzz with power before he turns and literally walks out of the mansion. his father, no, Margrave Gautier wasn’t worth wasting time on. Besides, he wanted him to live so that he could hear gossip of Margrave Gautier losing the holy relic to the failure. He would never be able to live it down. 

But then, the Church becomes involved and it isn’t long before he’s standing in front of Sylvain again. There’s no heartwarming reunion, no happy hugs, no tears, only two strangers who knew they hated the other. It was all Sylvain’s fault that he was like this now and he’d kill him for that. He wouldn’t let Sylvain ruin his life again. He’d show the world that he was better, that he was stronger and smarter, that he was worthy. That’s his last thought before he’s consumed. 

There were so many times that this ending could have been avoided.

If only he was born with a crest.

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notes from bae: I... wow..... I love this. so much? You did a fantastic job at adding so much depth to both Margrave Gautier and Miklan, to the point where I was feeling sympathetic for the both of them by the end of it all. That’s good writing right there.

but instead of nurturing his strengths, Margrave Gautier uprooted him like a weed to make room for his flower even though there was enough land for them both to coexist. - this metaphor??? SO GOOD??? IM????

this is so well thought out and absolutely well done from the beginning to the absolute end. everything from the Margrave’s own personal history with him not having a crest, to his unborn children, to the slow neglect of Miklan, and how Miklan then slowly gets consumed with jealousy.... oh my god. If you wrote a fic on this.... I would genuinely hand you money.

THIS IS SO GOOD. IM OFF TO REREAD IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN.