#i did my best to educate based on my own experiences and on things ive read from both bi and trans people over the years

[dammjamboy]

Hi, I saw the exclusion discourse going around and no one seems to be having like... direct conversations about it? And I'd really like to be more informed but I can't really do that unless i can actually talk to someone. I specifically want to talk about pansexuality- I do not hate pan people, nor think they're bad people, and harassing them isn't ok- but from what i know the pan label is deeply rooted in transphobia and biphobia. i could explain but you might already know of this (1/2)

look the idea of pansexuality being bi or transphobic is rhetoric started by exclusionists. yes, certain misinterpretations and misconceptions of pansexuality were spread that were bi and transphobic bc some people used pansexuality to mean attraction to "all three genders (men, women ans trans people)" and it was more inclusive than bisexuality which was attraction to just two genders. or some people would try to use pansexuality as "oh im attracted to personality" as if to imply bi people were only attracted to physical appearance. and YEAH these definitions are bi and transphobic, but these aren't what pansexuality has or does actually mean, it's just how people twisted and interpreted it. bisexuality has dealt with similar false misconceptions and definitions, where a lot of people would blatantly ignore or ommit the " or more genders" and took it to only mean "attraction to only men and women" when that's obviously not the case at all.

bisexuality is attraction to two or more genders, pansexuality is attraction regardless of gender. sure, of course there's going to be overlap between them, but that does not mean they can't coexist! that doesn't mean the differentiation isnt meaningful to some people. i have identified as pan for years, it was my first step into self discovery and it's one of the few aspects of my identity that hasn't changed.

i have seen and dealt with so much shit from panphobes and it's genuinely pretty fucking disgusting how they'll act sometimes, so excuse me for being a little mad and hateful when i see this vitriol being directed towards my friends and mutuals in this community. pan and aphobes sent death threats to a minor for making a post informing their followers and mutuals of someone in the fandom who has said some hateful fucking shit. so yeah im pissed, and im over this kind of behavior. to any pan or aphobes reading this, you're not being cool or edgy by hating on people for their identities. you're just being an asshole and you're making people, especially children and minors, feel threatened and unsafe in spaces where they shouldn't be having to worry about facing harrassment or death threats for identifying under labels and in ways that make them feel comfortable and happy.

[barnesandco]

Little Hands (IV)

Series Masterlist

Communication is key.

This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo 2021. Word count: 2248. Square filled: “Sung to Sleep”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: More Hydra Evilness, More Sad Child, Parental Anxieties. Brief mentions of war, sickness, death, grief. 

A/N: I know 2.2k words isn’t objectively a lot but boy did this feel like it. I hope every word is worth it and that you enjoy! Lmk what you think!!! Also I won’t even lie, the idea of Steve’s kids is 100% from one of my favorite comfort fics, family means no one gets left behind or forgotten, by the genius, the wonderful cosmicocean. IT’S SO SOFT. Pls read it.

You’re stunned when Bucky tells you what’s going on. The idea that his daughter (?) was made in a lab like some kind of experiment, and that the man who led said experiment now wants her back like she is his property, his weapon, is too horrid to consider for very long. Weaponizing an innocent child. Hydra.

Bucky gave you the broad strokes of the investigation – currently running on little more than educated guesses based on the meagre intel they have – and has let you know that he has had to recuse himself from the case, due to his… personal connection. That leaves him somewhere he finds awkward, to say the least.

It's evident in the way the corners of his lips turn down, how he is constantly rubbing the pads of his fingers against the coarse scratch of denim, while he watches Ana watch Zoya, Steve’s 17-year-old daughter, working on a tablet. Zoya tucks a strand of hair behind her hijab, then continues to draw up a storyboard, narrating the events to the younger girl. Steve had apparently forgotten the lunch his kids had made him at home, so Zoya had brought it in, and decided to stay the day.

Ana’s quiet, attentive for the most part, listening with her full capabilities, but her eyes flit away from the screen every now and then to look at you and Bucky, as if to reassure herself that you’re still there.

Besides that, there aren’t all that many distractions present for an already precocious child. Most of the team has dispersed for the investigation, with the exception of Peter, who is sat at a table in the corner making intentionally fruitless efforts at teaching Morgan chess, while she giggles and tries to stack the pieces like Jenga blocks instead.

However, Bucky’s restlessness is infectious, and you think he needs to get it under check before it grows any further. That’s why you stand, saying, “Could we go for a little walk, Bucky?”

He nods, man of few words that he is, and leads the way. You’re sure he knows that you formulated it like a request for his benefit, but he doesn’t mention it. It’s just as well – that he knows you like that, and knows when to accept the proverbial hand being offered.

Bucky takes you to a corner of the roof that you’d mistake for a community garden if you didn’t know any better. The Avengers seem to have green thumbs, or at least, a significant portion of them do. They’re good with plants, and possessive about them, too. Autumn ferns grow outside the circle they seem to have been planted in – with a sign shouting Wanda! – to invade the territory of a vegetable garden labelled Bruce (accompanied by a Hulkish, green thumbs up presumably not drawn by the man himself).  

Meticulously maintained daylilies and columbines, in vivid reds and vibrant purples, litter the edges of the path that has been carved through this little paradise, and the birdhouses between them stake the claim of the owner more effectively than a neon sign screaming Sam Wilson. Bucky’s told you about his abilities, how they veer into the decidedly supernatural but Sam insists are only the residue of a childhood with homing pigeons.

Nothing here looks like Bucky’s, though. He seems to be taking it in, perhaps thinking about his own little paradise back in the city, and how he’s chosen to keep it distant from that of his teammates. That worries you. He worries you.

And this, the situation with Anastasia, becoming a father, it’s terrifying. Hell, if it scares you this much, how is he feeling? You ask him as much.

“Bucky, are you okay?”

He laughs, softly, disbelievingly, no malice in his scoff, only fear. Only the sound of a voice saturated with consternation and total, complete anxiety. “Would you be?” He asks back.

“That’s why I’m asking.”

Bucky evades the questions, turning first one way on the path, and then the other, approaching the edge clear of shrubbery and blooms alike, resting his palms on the top of the wall.

“I can’t be a father.”

The solemnity in his tone allows no room for negotiations, but then, neither do the facts. “You are,” you reply, somewhat hesitantly, because the technicalities of how Ana came to be are still a little blurry to you. She’s far from a normal child, and not quite a clone, either. She is of Bucky, though. His, in any way that counts.

“That little girl was created in a Hydra lab as a super soldier to serve the cause,” he says, shaking his head vigorously as the cause repulses him even more than it does you. “And who knows what else she was put through before SHIELD fell and Orlov got her out, and it’s my fault.”

“You didn’t—”

“I didn’t ask for it to happen but it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t happened. They used me to make a super soldier from scratch, and now I’m supposed to raise her? It’s not that simple. I’m not Steve. I can’t…”

Being honest, you feel you’re pretty far out of your depth here. But you’ve promised him your help, and you’ll do your best.

“You don’t have to. There are other options.” You’re sure you’re overstepping. Perhaps this gentle companionship has not yet reached the point where you can give advice on parenting. But if you don’t, who will? Steve, whose answers don’t enter the gray territory Bucky’s mind is residing in right now, who parents like he was born for it?

Steve chose fatherhood. Bucky has been nailed to it like it’s a new cross to bear, heavier than all the previous ones put together.

His gaze roams the grounds that stretch as far as you can see. You’re both far away from home right now, far outside your comfort zones.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess, sweetheart. It’s not right. You have things to do, and I shouldn’t have—”

“Bucky, I’ve been staring at the same four sentences of dialogue for the past month. I literally could not have been happier to get out of the house. Even if I do wish it was under better circumstances,” you say fervently. You’re here because he needs you. Because Ana needs you. It’s nice to be needed.

“That’s one way to put it,” he smiles, and you’re glad to see it.

“Not to mention, it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault except whoever your team is looking for,” you insist. “And Ana’s a sweet girl. A little quiet, but Baba says I was, too.”

This, Bucky thinks about. You wonder if he was a quiet child, too. “What’s he like?”

“Hmm?” The reverie snaps like a rubber band.

“Your father?” Bucky asks, shyly, his eyes meeting yours, letting you know exactly why he’s asking.

You look up at the clouds, think back to Boston, to time shared between the library and the park. A childhood with books, lunch breaks under a desk in an office at MIT, stealing his glasses and running away with them, rubbing at his stubbly beard like he was a housecat. Inside jokes with your father and rolled eyes with your mother. Laughter and tears, laughter with tears.

After a long while, trying and failing to summarize your father, you say, “A jokester. The most sarcastic person I know. But still kind of neurotic, to be honest. The kind of parent that makes you show up at the airport a full four hours before your flight.” It’s grossly insufficient. For a writer, you’re not very good with words. You suppose it’s not the words that are the problem; it’s the lifetime they have to encompass. “What about yours?”

Bucky sighs. “Soldier. He’s one thing I don’t feel bad for not remembering because it wasn’t Hydra that wiped those memories. He just died when I was really small. Survived the Great War only to be killed by TB a few years later at home.”

“I’m sorry.” You avert your eyes. Grief feels private, even decades later, even in the smallest doses.

He shakes his head, smiles fondly, up at the sky, too, like you did. Only, he’s smiling at it, like he’s thinking of someone beyond the clouds. “Don’t be. Was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t allowed to hurt anymore.”

“You sound like my therapist.”

“I sound like my therapist.”

At this, the two of you look at each other and burst into laughter. It feels forbidden, as though the severity of the situation condemns joy. That isn’t fair, you think. The situation is that of a child, and nobody needs laughter more than kids do. Food for the soul.

When the echo of your exhilarations falls, Bucky grows serious once more. “They have them for kids, now, too, right?” He asks, referring to therapists. “Do you think Anastasia should see one? She’s not exactly… normal, you know?”

“Maybe.” It’s a difficult question, but a good indicator of how Bucky is growing to feel about Ana. “You’d make a good dad, if you wanted to be one, Bucky,” you say, and mean it. It’s plain as day that he cares about her.

“I can’t even remember my own.”

“Parental instincts are intuitive, not genetic,” you tell him.

“You been reading handbooks?” He teases.

“You’d be surprised by how much you learn from the rabbit holes you fall down while researching books,” you deadpan.

“Can any of that research get the nightmares out of my head? I think it might scare a kid.”

The self-deprecation hurts, but your response is honest, heartfelt. “She likes you already.”

“She won’t if she thinks I’ve run away,” he answers, straightening up. He might be trying to evade the conversation, but you’ll let him, for now. He’s gotten some fresh air, had some time to clear his thoughts, or sort them, at least. And so you return, to the little girl who has a tighter grip on both of you than you even realize.

------

Ana grows unsettled as night darkens the sky. It could be the ruckus she isn’t quite used to. It could be the toy fire truck Tony has been altering with his utensils to increase its noise output, much to Morgan’s amusement. It could be the actual parrot perched on Sam’s shoulder.

Whatever the cause, she hasn’t succumbed to it enough to make a seat out of the fridge again. She’s sitting in her seat, between Bucky and yourself, eating the hummus Bruce and Wanda have made. Nat discusses sniper scopes with Clint, Peter tries to get away with eating the side of vegetables on Jordan’s plate without Steve noticing, and Bucky eats silently, eyes almost constantly on Anastasia, who takes it all in while her knee bounces up and down with an ever-increasing speed, much like her father’s.

You excuse yourselves soon after dessert, after Morgan has fallen asleep against Jordan’s arm on the couch, and Steve and Tony’s friendly debate is starting to develop the edge it tends to when they’ve been bantering for too long.

Bucky sets up on the sectional in his room, and leaves the ridiculously large double bed to you and Anastasia. It’s been a strange, strange day, and one can only hope that tomorrow brings some ease, a balm for the prickly, fiery ache that has settled over the man you care so much about.

------

When you wake, it’s because of singing. For half a moment, you think you’re in a dream, but as your eyes adjust to the blanket of dark, you see the shadow on the sofa nearby. Only, it’s bigger than just Bucky. Anastasia is sitting on his lap, her head cushioned against his chest. Scrambling for your glasses, and turning on the lamp on the bedside table, you notice that there are trails of drying tears on her little cheeks, and she’s still shaking with the aftershocks of whatever scare she must’ve had during the night.

Not for the first time, you curse your deep sleep that meant you didn’t wake with Ana, but watch in wonder as Bucky sings.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring

Ana’s eyes begin to close, but she fights the sleep. Bucky doesn’t let her. He lies down, easing her down beside himself, singing all the while.

And if that diamond ring turns brass Papa's going to buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke Papa's going to buy you a billy goat

His voice fills the room, low though it may be, and he curls himself around Ana.

And if that billy goat won't pull Papa's going to buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over Papa's going to buy you a dog named Rover

She succumbs to the lull of his tone, his song, his promises, sighs a little sigh, lets the last, little hiccup leave her body.

And if that dog named Rover won't bark Papa's going to buy you a horse and cart

And if that horse and cart fall down You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town

Bucky lifts his hand from where it was stroking the hair at her temple, and lays his arm over his daughter. They’re safe, for now. Together.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being a younger Avenger and mentoring Kamala

Kamala Khan x reader

warnings: avengers game spoilers, guns

a/n: so excited about this one; i made y/n just a bit older (and gn!) so that they’re in their mid-early teens during a-day! hope thats okie doke! reader has electrokinesis. this accidentally got really detailed

prompt: anonymous: “Hey there! Would you mind writing HCs for the Avengers Game about female reader being a young Avenger (around 17) and mentoring Kamala Khan?”

you were just a kid yourself when you joined the avengers

and you were an inspiration to kids around the world

“does SHIELD think nothing of child labor laws?” -bruce

the avengers became your family

and seeing what you could do...they knew you could handle yourself

and then a-day happened

the day started off so perfect

and the kids went ballistic over seeing you

“y/h/n! look, it’s y/h/n!”

“can i get a picture?”

“hi, guys! of course you can!”

but there was one kid who stuck out among the rest

kamala khan

“you’re the one who wrote about the sewers, right? i freaking loved it! may i just say your art is amazing?”

“r-really?”

“oh, yeah! and the part where you had thor spin mjölnir to push water towards the sewer lizards so i could shock them? genius!”

she could not wait to tell abu about what you had just said

you obviously took a selfie with her and handed her a little pin with your own “icon” on it

but your world got turned upside down that day

the battle was one you’d never forget

and the fighting with your own teammates afterwards would haunt you for years to come

“what do you know, y/n?! you’re just a kid!” -tony

“oh yeah? im one of the only functioning members of this team!”

“everybody calm down. y/n makes a good point, but—” -nat

“thank you”

“...but there’s some stuff you should leave up to us. you really shouldn’t have to take on so much responsibility” -nat

“she’s right, y/n. this was our fault” -bruce

“are you kidding me?! i’m just as guilty as the rest of you, i’m an equal member of this team! for years we’ve dealt with this together, taken the blame together! what’s changed?”

“y/n...you saw what we did out there. that changed everything...” -bruce

you technically were an inhuman, just not terrigen-based

didnt matter to AIM, they took dr. pym for god’s sake

so you had to run, you were on your own for a while

a long while

you laid low for five years, most boring five years of your life

at least you still had your life, though. it just wasn’t what it used to be

but you got a message one day

“‘tiny dancer,’ huh? my moneys on either nat or tony. nah, tony would have chosen ‘rocket man.’”

you couldn’t be sure, maybe it was just a random shield agent...maybe hank pym? god, this was crazy

the message brought you to, uh, cap’s memorial statue

and there was a young girl arguing with a couple of boys...an inhuman!

you hopped in and saved her, she seemed scared

“hey, kid, you alright?”

“y/h/n? is it really you?”

she seemed vaguely familiar

“are you tiny dancer?”

“no, i thought you might be? they sent you here, too?”

there wasn’t much time to chat, AIM was onto you

you two unfortunately got split up for a minute, but you were practically raised by the notorious clint barton and natasha romanoff, and various other spies

yes, you planted a tracker on her

and met her at the bus stop!

“you found me?”

“that i did, kamala. see, i do remember you”

“that is so cool! i mean—not almost getting killed, or the guy with the big head...”

“what guy? you need to tell me everything”

the whole busride was a bit overwhelming. kamala explained the resistance clues, her powers, her undying admiration for the avengers, you name it

but it made you feel good to know that there were people out there that didn’t hate you

“so what was it like? being the teenage avenger?”

“uh, it was...it was really cool. i felt like i was one-of-a-kind. but sometimes people didn’t take me seriously, it was kind of aggravating”

“yeah, no one takes me seriously either...”

“you know, depending on how this all goes, i might be able to give you a few pointers”

“really?! that’d be great!”

once you got to utah...you saw the chimera

it brought back some bad memories, kamala could tell

“you okay?”

“me? yeah, im good. just thinking...okay, well, do you have a plan on how to get yourself across all of this?”

“actually, i do!”

it was kind of creepy in there, but when you laid your eyes on caps shield, you kind of broke

“do you hear something, what it that?”

“...hulk. kamala, you need to get out of here, i’ll catch up to you, i swear”

she didn’t leave in time, so she got to see the greener side of bruce. you chased him back and tried to get bruce back

meanwhile, kamala found AIM troops...oops

bruce cooled off and man was he doing rough

“y/n, is that really you?”

“yeah, its me. surprise. how long have you been the big guy?”

“too long...a few years”

“jesus, im sorry. i’ll be right back, though. some kid brought me here, i gotta go get her. you kinda scared her off”

she was passed out when you got to her

but bruce is a doctor, he’d figure it out

“i could give her a little shock to wake her up, you know?”

“oh, i know. just let her rest for a minute. she needs it”

“right...well im gonna take a look around, maybe go see what i left behind. i could power the place up, but we’re missing some parts to actually get this thing running. best i can do is lights and doors”

you turned the little things on and turns out did leave a decent amount of stuff in here

your first pair of pistols that nat gave you, the gigantic stein that thor gifted you for your 13th birthday, gadgets tony needed an “extra boost” for *bzzt*, a note from cap that just said “good luck, y/n, you’re going to do great!” you cant even remember what it was he was referring to. you just missed him

kamala walked in while you were shuffling around and cleaning the place up

“hey, dr. banner wanted me to come get you. is this your room?”

“that it is, and it’s a huge mess. this is literally all my belongings ever”

bruce had his plan and you just went along, helping kamala out as you go

“baby steps, kam, don’t want you to pass out. but don’t worry, happens to the best of us” -you

“really? you pass out too?” -kamala

“oh yeah, for sure. tell her bruce, remember that time we had thor overcharge me to literally make me an EMP? and tony was busy listening to music so he wouldn’t get out of the blast radius and his armor shut down? so he was out of commission and i had just collapsed from it all? good times”

“y/n, we thought you died” -bruce

this hc is so long omg — anyways you guys ended up finding tony and it was sort of entertaining but he kinda punched bruce and then hugged you

“you got so big”

“shut up, tony”

you kinda harbored some bad feelings since none of the avengers did anything to help you once they started rounding up inhumans (but you still missed them)

getting attacked again

“okay, kamala, remember what i said about baby steps. dont overdo it. i trust you with this!”

“thank you, y/n! uh—oh my god!”

aaaanyways you went to the ant hill to see hank and pick up some supplies, boy was it great to see some familiar faces, then back the the chimera you went to fix it all up

“can you hold that right there for me, kamala? thanks. i think that just about does it. now i have a surprise for you...your own room!”

you helped kamala get it nice and tidy while talking about each other’s lives, she really did remind you of yourself when you became an avenger. excited, scared, underestimated, all of that. and she begged you to share some mission stories, so you obviously did

“you know, if you stick around for a while, you’re gonna have some cool stories, too. maybe even a kickass costume.”

“oh! a costume, ive got that sorta covered. check it out. a burkini, muslim women wear it for swimming and stuff. my mom got it for me”

“love it. soon we’ll find you a fitting name and update the suit, but seriously, this was the perfect way to go. you look great”

“you think so? i don’t know if i feel that cool. maybe i should try something else?”

“if that’s how you feel, you don’t have to stick to it. you can experiment all you want! but i really think you did awesome on this. come on, pose with me! and hey, i like your pins.”

at this point, you’d do anything for kamala, she reminded you so much of yourself. you would have killed for a mentor your age back in the day.

natasha was in fact tiny dancer...called it

“oh, god, y/n. you’re all grown up...im sorry we left you alone. but if it makes you feel better, i always kept an eye on you”

“well, i kind of took on a protégé...she’s like your grand-protégé. kam, c’mere”

after thor finally came back, everyone started fighting again and ditched, it felt so familiar. but you couldn’t leave kamala behind, you swore to yourself that you couldn’t do that.

she was so good for this team

MODOK was defeated (by kamala herself) but there was so much left to do, tons of threats to extinguish, training to accomplish

“y/n, tony won’t turn his dad rock off! he overrode the speakers in my room”

“oh, it’s on. get chastity’s fabric dye and bleach pens. we’re gonna start some trouble”

she gave you a high five one time and nearly broke your arm

sending each other tiny hand memes

“hey, ms. m, how’re your parents? doing okay without their favorite super-daughter?”

“my abu doesn’t stop texting me actually, says my family is super proud of me. it’s a nice change of pace”

you take her on covert missions for field training, it was Educational(tm)

*elevator music playing* “so...what do you want for dinner? i was thinking we could ask thor to barbecue”

sleepovers in her room that just turn into her showing you her superhero merch, listening to music, prank lists, sneaking off to the HARM room for hand-to-hand combat training and power experiments, thinking up new costume designs

“tip: you always need backup suits, you never know what you’re gonna run into out there. one time tony pushed me into a tower of paint cans and they spilled all over me. steve yelled at him for two hours afterwards. worst mission ever, except steve said ‘motherfucker’ and i have never recovered from the emotions of that day”

“wow, i wish i could have been there for that”

“don’t worry, kami, you’ll see some crazy ‘team bonding’ along the way”

she geeks out about captain marvel sometimes

“hey, i’ve got a book carol gave to me about ‘teens taking responsibility.’ you wanna read it?”

“is it any good?”

“i don’t know, i only read the first two pages”

you ended up having a true heart-to-heart with her after one mission when she made a mistake that nearly cost you guys the mission. you told her that not every mission is going to go perfect, each avenger had slipped up in the field, and she had just started, shes not going to be perfect

“i am literally always here if you need anything. i know what it feels like to be a teenager among legends, but trust me, you’ve made it this far and you’ve proven how much of a badass you are. i know you can take anything that gets thrown at you”

kamala said she makes vegan nachos and yeah she makes vegan nachos

you guys have to hide from the rest of the team when she makes them bc they eat ALL OF THEM

gaff (the SHEILD vendor) has you test his gear, you recommend gear to kamala

you were so excited to guide kamala on her journey of heroism

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[themeed]

damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.

im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.

and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.

and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.

anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.

and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.

not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.

once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.

it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.

they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.

we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...

are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.

and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.

so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.

not throw insults or punches or hatred.

what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.

but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.

these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.

Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...

i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.

because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.

i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.

depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.

i. i might do this. legitimately.

i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.

i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.

anyway. yeah. wow.

[dutifullylazysalad]

Literacy Libraryguided Reading 101

Literacy Libraryguided Reading 101 5th

Reading Literacy Worksheets

Literacy Libraryguided Reading 101 Lesson

What every teacher should know

Feb 6, 2018 - Explore Lauren McGlone's board 'Literacy - Library', followed by 361 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about classroom library, reading classroom, classroom organization.

Reading 101: A Guide to Teaching Reading and Writing

Literacy Centers 101: Pocket Chart Center Day 3 of my summer vacation and what am I doing??? Well, I did have a wonderful time today at Centre Island with my husband, kiddies and dear friends of ours.

Emergent Literacy Reading 63 IV. Emergent Literacy Writing 79 V. Mathematics 87 VI. Science 101 VII. Social Studies 107 VIII. Fine Arts 113 IX. Physical Development 117 X. Technology 122 Appendices 124.

The Certification Exam for Educators of Reading Instruction (CEERI) Teachers who complete the Reading 101 modules will learn about critical skills for proficient reading and best practices that support students’ acquisition of these skills.

In this book we have an English 101 class explaining what “literacy” means to them and the way this word has gained meaning as they have grown older and gone through many experiences. The personal stories that are shared within these pages reflect where reading and writing started for each student and the way that their literacy journey.

Reading 101 is a collaboration with the Center for Effective Reading Instruction and The International Dyslexia Association.

Learn the definitions of phonological awareness and phonemic awareness — and how these pre-reading listening skills relate to phonics.

Phonological awareness and phonemic awareness: what's the difference?

Phonological awareness refers to a global awareness of the sound structures of speech and the ability to manipulate those structures. Phonological awareness is an umbrella term that encompasses both basic levels of awareness of speech sounds, such as rhyming, alliteration, the number of words in a sentence, and the syllables within words, as well as more advanced levels of awareness such as onset-rime awareness and full phonemic awareness.

Phonemic awareness is the most advanced level of phonological awareness. It refers to a child’s awareness of the individual phonemes — the smallest units of sound — in spoken words, and the ability to manipulate those sounds.

Phonological awareness (PA) involves a continuum of skills that develop over time and that are crucial for reading and spelling success, because they are central to learning to decode and spell printed words. Phonological awareness is especially important at the earliest stages of reading development — in pre-school, kindergarten, and first grade for typical readers.

Explicit teaching of phonological awareness in these early years can eliminate future reading problems for many students. However, struggling decoders of any age can work on phonological awareness, especially if they evidence problems in blending or segmenting phonemes.

How about phonological awareness and phonics?

Phonological awareness refers to a global awareness of sounds in spoken words, as well as the ability to manipulate those sounds.

Phonics refers to knowledge of letter sounds and the ability to apply that knowledge in decoding unfamiliar printed words.

So, phonological awareness refers to oral language and phonics refers to print. Both of these skills are very important and tend to interact in reading development, but they are distinct skills; children can have weaknesses in one of them but not the other.

For example, a child who knows letter sounds but cannot blend the sounds to form the whole word has a phonological awareness (specifically, a phonemic awareness) problem. Conversely, a child who can orally blend sounds with ease but mixes up vowel letter sounds, reading pit for pet and set for sit, has a phonics problem.

Dr. Louisa Moats explains to a kindergarten teacher why it is critical to differentiate between the letters and sounds within a word when teaching children to read and write.

Reading 101 is a collaboration with the Center for Effective Reading Instruction and The International Dyslexia Association.

What are the key critical reading skills, and how do we use them to comprehend? And why does background knowledge matter?

This section presents my latest thinking on comprehension with The Comprehension Process Staircase as a visual aid.

(Illustration by Sandy Gingras, whose Website is here.)

Literacy Libraryguided Reading 101 5th

Here's an important essay on why background knowledge matters: 'There's No Such Thing as a Reading Test' in The American Prospect by E.D. Hirsch and Robert Pondiscio (June 13, 2010)

Here are two video training modules that explain key topics on this page:

Comprehension Process MODULE:

This 23-min SELF-PACED video explains The Comprehension Process Staircase and how to use the Quadrant Analysis Approach to images (reinforcing the comprehension process with visual analysis).

For more resources to support your work around comprehension, please check out the following:

TLC Website “Comprehension 101” page--lots of tools to download! And you can show students the Comprehension Process Staircase!

TLC Blog post on Quadrant Analysis--a detailed explanation of how to teach the Quadrant Analysis approach (which is also explained in the video)

Here's the FREE link to the Comprehension Process Module PowerPoint.

***

This 20-min SELF-PACED video explains the four key critical reading skills (paraphrasing, inference, vocabulary in context, and summarizing/inferring main idea) and how to teach them. NOTE: Watch The Comprehension Process MODULE before this one.

For more resources to support your work around key critical reading skills, please check out the following:

TLC Website “Comprehension 101” page--lots of tools to download!

TLC Website 'Analyzing Literature' page--ditto!

Here's the FREE link to the 4 Key Critical Reading Skills Module PowerPoint.

***

Here are the 4 key critical reading skills:

SKILLWHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AND WHAT IT ENTAILSTESTING CODE WORDS PARAPHRASING

(AKA Literal Comprehension)

“The man fell down.”-> “He collapsed.”

Paraphrasing means “translating literally” or “putting something in your own words.” This requires you to:

Unpack vocabulary (attack roots; use prior knowledge and context clues).

Unpack syntax and grammar (unpack clauses and phrases; pay attention to punctuation).

Draw inferences from idioms.

NEW: For a useful strategy, seeHow to Paraphrase-3rd grade Practice, How to Paraphrase-MS Practice, How to Paraphrase-HS Practice. For tips on how to create critical reading questions, see How to Create Critical Reading Questions: A Recipe.

See also Rewordify.com, a powerful, free, online software that intelligently simplifies difficult English, for faster comprehension (IN OTHER WORDS, it paraphrases for you).

Facts

In other words

According to the story/passage

What does this mean?

Plot-related

Paraphrase

INFERENCE

(AKA Extended Reasoning)

“The man fell down.”-> “He must have been sick.”

Inference entails drawing a conclusion, making a prediction/guess, or figuring something out. To do this, you need facts/information, and you need to ask questions about the given information. See the comprehension process described below for more explanation.

NEW:Paraphrasing and Inference Organizer AND Quotations to Paraphrasing and Inference in the Download Zone will help students practice these skills. Also check out Character Traits: Quote and Explain and Question-Inference-Evidence & Explanation ORGANIZER, Question-Inference-Evidence & Explanation ORGANIZER MODEL, and Question-Inference-Evidence & Explanation ORGANIZER MODEL LESSON PLAN

Here's a fun way to invite students to apply their inference skills: Read 'The Conversation Piece' by Ned Guymon (which originally appeared in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine in 1950) and figure out what is going on in this dialogue.

Infer

Suggest

Conclude

Because/why

Most likely

Probably

VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT“They’re not interested in being diverted from their direction with alternative routes.” The word “diverted” in this context means

A) amused B) less experienced C) taking the same route D) sent in a different direction

Vocabulary in context requires you to infer meaning of words using the context and your prior knowledge.

What does ____ mean in this context?

Based on the passage, what does ____ mean?

NOTE: At least one distractor will use an alternative meaning of the word in question. In this example, “A” is the distractor. FINDING MAIN IDEA/ARGUMENT

(AKA Summarizing)

The main idea of this passage is

The yearly festival in Pamplona, Spain, always includes the Running of the Bulls.

Running alongside the bulls as they are moved from the corral to the bullring in Pamplona, Spain, has become an exciting and dangerous sport.

The bravest runners carry newspapers with which they touch the bulls as they run through the streets.

The Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, has been going on for about three hundred years.

Finding the main idea/argument, AKA summarizing, requires you to infer the key message(s) from the text. Your ability to do this is based on how well you are able to paraphrase, infer, and determine vocabulary meaning from context. Also, you have to understand the difference between ARGUMENT and EVIDENCE. See the comprehension process described below for details.

After reading the article/passage/story…

The central idea

The theme

This passage is mostly about

The author would probably agree

The best summary

How do we use these skills to comprehend? See below. Start at the bottom.

INFERENCE(S) -> EXPLANATION

­

Draw new inferences and generate more explanations. These join your prior knowledge/skills.

??? + PRIOR KNOWLEDGE/ SKILLS

­

Ask more questions… MORE “TEXT”

+

Paraphrase, etc. This “text” may confirm or challenge your prior knowledge/previous inferences.

FOR EXAMPLE: If the next sentence says, 'He had had a fever all day,' your prior inference is confirmed. If, however, the next sentence is 'He should've bought the shoes with velcro straps,' you would correct your incorrect prior assumption/inference.

INFERENCE(S)

-> EXPLANATION

­

Draw inferences in response to your questions, and support them with explanations. These infererences and explanations join your prior knowledge/skills. FOR EXAMPLE: Given no additional information about the man who collapsed (no mention of shoelaces or attackers) and knowing that healthy people are generally able to stand up without falling down, you might infer that he fell down BECAUSE HE WAS SICK. NOTE: You will continue to think this until new information challenges your thinking.

??? + PRIOR KNOWLEDGE/ SKILLS

­

Ask questions based on paraphrasing/translation and your prior knowledge/skills.

FOR EXAMPLE: Given the case of the falling man, you might ask, 'WHY did he collapse?' You might recall prior instances of seeing people tripping over shoelaces, fainting, or being knocked down.

­

YOU APPLY IT/

THEM TO

“TEXT.”

^ ^

PARAPHRASE: Put the “text” in your own words. NOTE: “Text” could be almost anything: words, pictures, or a situation (e.g., reading the defense on a basketball court).

Unpack vocabulary.

Unpack grammar/syntax.

INFER from idioms.

FOR EXAMPLE: Given the text 'The man fell down,' you could paraphrase this as 'He collapsed.' For a useful strategy, see How to Paraphrase-3rd grade Practice,How to Paraphrase-MS Practice, How to Paraphrase-HS Practice in the Download Zone.

YOU HAVE

PRIOR KNOWLEDGE/ SKILLS.

^ ^

Start here.

You approach the 'text' with your prior knowledge, which includes:

Previous experiences

Context

Texts read/academic content knowledge

Knowledge of conventions (genre, grammar, syntax)

NOTE: If your 'prior knowledge' is incorrect, it will affect your ability to process the 'text.'

FOR EXAMPLE: If you believe that 5 times 5 is 30, then when faced with a math word problem requiring the multiplication of 5 x 5, you will not solve the problem correctly.

Reading Literacy Worksheets

For more information on strategies for teaching the 4 key critical reading skills, see Reading Comprehension Strategies Overviewin the Download Zone. For a 'Sample LESSON PLAN to LABEL CRITICAL READING QUESTIONS,' see MS English Lessons & Units. Want to review the FOUR CRITICAL READING SKILLS (paraphrasing, inference, vocabulary in context, and summarizing/inferring main idea) and teach your students how to identify test questions that deal with these skills? Check out this Sample LESSON PLAN TO LABEL CRITICAL READING QUESTIONS and HANDOUTS for the lesson. Also, see READING Home Page for other helpful subsections.

Sometimes, to demonstrate comprehension, we want students to explain quotations. Check out the Explanatory Quote Response Organizer and Explanatory Quote Response Organizer MODEL.

For additional excellent resources on reading instruction (esp. nonfiction text support), even if your state doesn't use PARCC assessments, check out the PARCC Prep page.

Literacy Libraryguided Reading 101 Lesson

IN THE DOWNLOAD ZONE for Comprehension 101:

[hollywoodx4]

hiiii i saved your "alone zone" post for reference, but also i was wondering if you could breakdown the setup? ive got an almost 2yo who's definitely starting to get feelings that are too big for him. he's a bit delayed in his speech right now, though, and obviously can't read, so i know ill have to make some adjustments

Okay, I spent a good chunk of the morning on this because I am very passionate about social-emotional learning at a young age, but I feel as though I need a disclaimer:

I am young, but I have been a teacher for nine years going on ten. I speak from my own personal experience. I am by no means the only source of information, but I do speak informatively and with research as well. I have worked with many types of kids from all walks of life and ability, and I do feel my information is accurate to my own experience. I am not, however, certified in special education and I am always learning. Take this as it is-my advice from experience, trial-and-error, and a passion to continue learning new things.

The most important thing I’ve found with an Alone Zone is to introduce it slowly, and by example. It’s going to take a little while to actually have the child be able to use the Alone Zone by themselves, but with practice and patience it can and will happen! I think too that a lot of observation is helpful-if you see things in the Alone Zone that your child isn’t using, or doesn’t gravitate to as much, I’d take them out and try a different tool. So a background: I’m in a classroom, I’ve been teaching for 9 years, and I’ve been observing and putting things in and taking them out depending on the group of children I have. The first year, we did not use the alone zone frequently. Last year, my Alone Zone was full almost all day. This year, I have one or two students that use it regularly, and some that use it as needed.  Also, I’ve worked with twos and threes, and although I’ve been with threes for five or six years now, I did spend a good chunk of time with the twos. I also did have an inclusive classroom last year, where this Alone Zone actually ended up being one of my best tools.So, thanks for your patience with the rambling, here’s a break-down.

First off, I really recommend this be set up in a place where your child knows they won’t be disturbed-where they can go and have their moment of privacy. Of course, you’ll be there to help them learn how to use the area and all of its tools properly, and you’ll still have an eye on them, but it’s important that your child feels safe in this space, and that they know they can come to it and have a moment to sort things out for themselves. It’s also important to never use this area as a form of punishment or discipline. It’s important to frame your words so that they know that the space is a way of coping and not a way of “time out.” I always use the term “let’s take a break” when having children step away, and if I’m directing a child to the alone zone, I’ll tell them “we’re going to come here and let our bodies take a break. We can use these things to help ourselves calm down. When you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll be here.”

I also think it’s important to let the child come to you when they’re ready. There are very few times I have set a timer and gotten that specific-it’s a case-to-case scenario…sometimes a child will need a timer so that they’re able to give themselves time to calm their bodies, and other children will be intuitive and know how long they need. Sand timers are a good investment because then the child can see how long they have left, and it’s in a framework that makes sense to them. Digital timers are not recommended because the concept of numerical time is not developmentally appropriate for young children to understand, but a sand timer gives them something they can see. They also come in packs of one minute, three minute, and five minute intervals from what I’ve seen, so if you feel your child would benefit from having a set amount of time in the Alone Zone I’d recommend that!

Second, there’s the emotional learning: I like to use the characters from Inside Out to help my children discuss their feelings. They’re relatable, and they cover the base emotions. I use all except disgust, because I don’t feel that disgust has a place in this zone; but I do use Joy, Anger, Sadness, and Fear (which I typically label using the words nervous or upset, because I have had a lot of experience with children facing anxiety). I suggest finding an emotion chart to start the area off-this helps the child express themselves, and especially with a child who is speech delayed, these charts can help with self-expression and bridge that gap, because speech delays cause a lot of heartache in children who are just trying to express themselves, and feel frustrated when not understood. Here’s some I really like!https://www.totschooling.net/2017/03/emotions-printable-activity.html

https://childhood101.com/helping-children-manage-big-emotions-printable-emotions-cards/

https://innovativeresources.org/resources/card-sets/bears-cards/

(as your child is two, I recommend sorting through the cards and keeping the emotions as simple as possible-happy, sad, angry, upset- as the more complex, compound emotions will begin later on in their development.) This will also help your child learn and understand the language; they may not be able to communicate to you using words, but they will pick up on the vocabulary as they’re using something like a clothespin to pin their feeling, a finger to point, or Velcro to stick their feeling onto a board…this is so important to developmentally delayed child, as I’m sure you’ll see improvement as you’re giving them a way to communicate.

Third: Tools.

*Now, I’m a simple person. I really really love something like a sensory bottle. They’re super easy, and can be made at home and tailored to your child’s interests. Do they love dinosaurs? Stick in some teeny tiny dinosaurs in that bottle. Princesses? Princess confetti, crowns, etc. Tailor it to their interests and it’ll just help them gain more interest in using the tools! Here’s a good base recipe to get you started

http://www.acraftyliving.com/diy-baby-and-toddler-discovery-bottles/

I also recommend some stress toys, if you can in varying textures and density. Sometimes it’s just about a sensory craving; they need something for their sensory output, and squeezing a stress ball can help them get their negative energies out without hurting themselves or others. I keep Silly Putty on hand but not in the zone (because of the hazard) and that is one of the top things my students will ask for.

I also keep a set of yoga cards in there as well-my children love yoga, and we work daily on poses. There are a few of my students who choose to go into our Alone Zone when they’re feeling anxious and just do a little bit of yoga. I have a box of cards I bought as we got more into yoga, (https://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Littles-Lana-Katsaros/dp/1683642392) but these printable ones are awesome as well https://pinsviews.com/pin/492229434266737881

I keep a pair of headphones in my alone zone as well; last year, I had a student who faced a lot of social anxiety as well as transitional difficulties and difficulties with anger management. The tool he loved most was the headphones. He’d come to the alone zone angry or upset, ask for the headphones, and sit with his eyes closed listening to classical music or ocean sounds. This was his escape; upon observation I began to notice that this is where he felt safe; he’d often come to Alone Zone after an argument, or after a friend told him they didn’t want to play, and just sit with his thoughts.

I also recommend trying a weighted lap pad, depending on your child’s sensory needs. Some children do not like the added weight, and others crave it. There’s versions with sewing, but this is a no-sew, relatively easy option. https://diyprojects.com/weighted-blankets-diy/

One thing I added last year is just a pair of cut out handprints on the wall. This was a surprisingly largely used thing; I took a class in guided discipline, and discovered this tool from discussion with other teachers who had students with sensory integration difficulties. It’s simple; the pair of handprints on the wall is something you can direct your child to push, and push as hard as they can. This is something I use often with children who have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves-I direct them to the handprints (or, if we’re outside, to the fence) and instruct them to push the hands as hard as they can to “move the wall.” This works to help their sensory output in a way that is not hurting others, and they feel magical when you tell them that they’re working hard to push that wall.

 On -the-go tip: Sensory bags.

Sensory bags can be a life saver. Especially because they’re so portable, and are so easily tailored to the child’s interest. I tend to take these out in moments of transition-when one child is done their snack and the rest are not-it’s a good tool to use when you need a few minutes, or your child seems like they might be teetering on the edge of a meltdown. Here’s a pretty good resource with some easy DIY ideas

https://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2012/07/fun-with-sensory-bags.html

One last tip: Daily routine cards

Because you mentioned that your child is non-verbal, I highly recommend a Daily Routine chart of some sort; either something you hang on your wall, or take with you (using Velcro and a small clipboard, a file folder, a Ziploc bag, a soft pencil case….) Last year, I used a daily routine chart with pictures to outline our whole day from start to finish; one of my boys with autism would go to the chart and take down whatever task we just accomplished, and look at the next. He was then able to anticipate what was to come, and accomplish the tasks knowing that he could remove them from the wall as the day went on. A longer, daily chart also helps children with anxiety to be able to see what’s to come, and help that ease-of-transition.

The benefit of a first, then chart is learning the sequence, and helping them to put a picture to a task instead of just a word. This is an opportunity too to practice speech with simple words!

Here’s some printable daily routine pictures

http://www.littlelifelonglearners.com/product/daily-routine-cards/

and here’s a chart I’ve used in the past, and the toddler teachers I work cooperatively with use currently with some of their verbally delayed students. A First, then chart teaches the child to anticipate what’s next, and often helps us to get through the daily routine. We often use it to say things like “Potty first, then you can play.” Or “snack first, then outside.” Communication with transitional words, and not as many words, helps tremendously.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/99/00/f5/9900f508314bbeaef6ffb00bc57e0a49.png

http://theadventuresofroom83.blogspot.com/2013/11/integrating-pecs-outside-of-pecs-book.html

[christianmarkchristian]

LOVE IN THE TIME OF COVID “I have answers. I’m not at all confused.” -I told my friend Austin.   I cant say that I “know it all” or that “I am 100% “right.” But I have incredible peace during this pandemic; a peace like I’ve never felt before. And its not just a feeling. It’s a peace and a confidence based on a lifetime of research, study, meditation and prayer. You see, for years I was a struggling artist/writer. I lived here in L.A., like so many artists and writers, paycheck to check. I rarely enjoyed discretionary income. For decades, I pleaded with God for a high paying, steady job. A few came...and went. Then the crash came...and went.    So here I sit. But today I am incredibly wealthy. Not Bill Gates wealthy. But not dollars wealthy, (yet) but knowledge wealthy. You see, during the lean times when I didn’t even have the money to travel, go to movies, or even McDonalds, I was forced to stay at home instead. (welcome to my world) What did I do? I was cramming my brain, indulging my voracious appetite for reading, study and research. It was like I spent thirty or forty years prepping for an exam (and an experience) I had no idea was coming. I was a writer; I thought, “I need to know all these things so my movie scripts will be authentic.” Yes, there is some truth in that but not the “whole truth.” The truth is, the “exam” I’ve been cramming for, without knowing it, for decades, was this (Cornonavirus) exam. There is widespread confusion, panic and anxiety like few of us have ever seen. Everyone I know is experiencing some kind of surprise or fear; caught off guard and even in shock. Over and over, we all hear “what the heck’s going on?” Well, I’ve been preparing, without knowing it, for the late winter and spring of 2020, most of my adult life. My mind is now a living, GOOGLE-like repository of facts, information and experience. I’ve read at least 1,000 hard cover, serious, academic books about topics that all relate directly or indirectly to the “pandemic:” -Medicine (my step dad was a doctor) -Religion/prophecy (starting with my step dad introducing me to Hal Lindsey’s books, when I was in High School) -Art, sociology, culture, politics, history, psychology, as well as many other related subjects. I also suffered with a severe respiratory illness (asthma) since I was six years old, even hospitalized several times although today I feel pretty good. So, I know well the struggles that thousands are going through, with the virus. I suffered greatly, 2-3 days fighting for my life in hospital beds in Fairfield California and Wiesbaden, Germany. I was on IV fluids, emergency meds, an oxygen tent and “The Bird” ventilator. Later, as a teen in Biloxi, MS., I had to wake my pediatrician step Dad up at 2am, many times, asking for an injection of epinephrine “in oil.” So, to get to the point: What’s going on? What’s this pandemic really all about? First of all, let me say this: Only God really knows. One can only guess. But one can make an educated guess and that’s what I’m doing. And I have yet to speak to anyone or be made aware of anyone who has more exposure to the unique puzzle pieces of information that all interact in harmony to produce what I believe are the answers to this mystery. The puzzle piece subjects are: Pharmaceuticals, vaccines, medicine, healing, (my step Dad was a doctor) culture, media,   (I live in Hollywood) the news media (I starred in an MSNBC documentary and worked for a PR firm contacting news media every day. Two of my best friends currently star in a TLC reality show) prophecy, (I am a follower of a prophetic Judaeo-Christian tradition and church) history, science, politics, psychology, physics, spirituality and economics. If you don’t have experience and a solid knowledge of ALL of these, you are not in possession of the pieces of the puzzle and cant see the big picture. I’m not boasting. I’m sure there are thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, even millions of individuals smarter than I am. Its not about how “smart” we are, it’s about having every one of these puzzle pieces and perceiving how they fit, fitting them together. SO HERE IT IS The questions are perhaps as important as the answers: 1. Is this man made or nature? 2. Who or what is responsible? 3. Why is this happening? 4. What changes can I expect in my life now? 5. What does the future hold? MAN MADE NOR NATURE? It’s hard to say. There are probably people who know the answer to this but I am not one. Everyone agrees that it came from China. The facts support the idea that the Chinese communist party suppressed the information for far too long. And of course, that they are indirectly responsible for thousands of deaths. If it was nature, many say it was a combination of bat and an anteater like scaly creature that the Chinese eat. For me, this is one puzzle piece clue. The bible forbids the eating of these exotic wild animals and most humans find the practice repulsive. The Kosher laws (I eat pork and shellfish by the way) have proven over and over again to be instrumental in preventing deaths. For example, during the black plague, gentiles left dead bodies in stagnant water, against kosher laws...and that spread the disease. The microscope had not been invented yet and so no one was aware of the existence of bacteria and of the need for sanitation. THIS IS A CLUE. The bible has wisdom, from a non-science view that often supports science, or science often supports it. And HERE ARE ANSWERS. Where did Covid begin? Let’s start “InThe Beginning.” The Garden of Eden. Millions of us own and love our iPhones. The symbol of APPLE corp. comes from one of the most well known stories in all history: The story of Adam, Eve and the serpent. Again, here are clues to the answers of what is going on. The serpent, of course, represents Satan. It doesn't really matter whether the serpent was, or is, a snake or a red man with horns and a pitchfork and forked tail. Arguing that point or doubting because of that point, is to miss the point.  The point is not about the physical appearance of Satan or even if he was, or is, a physical being or a spiritual being or a myth. The point is that there is GOOD and EVIL in the world. To deny this at this point in time, is to be considered a bit out of touch with, reality. And consider that the unseen world is the source of all seen things. This is indisputable: before there could be a chair, the thought had to exist. Before there could be a table, the idea had to exist. Nothing happens without it first being thought; at least nothing we value. So, what happened with the apple? The Apple, the fruit of “The Tree of the knowledge of good and evil” represents knowledge and power and technology. The bible says that if they ate of this fruit, they “could be like God.” Over and over in history, we see that those with the superior knowledge and technology usually, almost every time, win. You’ve heard the saying “don’t bring knife to a gunfight.” When that happens, those with the knife usually die and are left in the dust bin of history. Wisdom and knowledge, victory over death,victory over those individuals or groups or animals or a natural force that threatens  to destroy us, this is basically what the bible is about. You might think the bible is about “rules” and “morals” and there is some truth to that one could argue that what the bible is really about is a manual on HOW TO LIVE AND NOT DIE. NOW, more than ever, we need a manual like this. -to be continued

[jinjojess]

okay im not a part of purity brigade or anything but don't you think ao3 should take actions against works that legally meet the definition of child porn? ive seen multiple works that are fully disturbing and serve no other purpose than to make the assault of children sexy. not a gritty, dark tale of character development and woe.

Putting this answer under a cut because it’s long and I don’t want anyone having to stumble onto it by accident.

For anyone on my blog on mobile, meanwhile...

WARNING: VERY SERIOUS ISSUES DISCUSSED BELOW

To my knowledge, OTW does ban illegal cp, as defined by US law (which I believe is where they’re based). I looked it up and what it says is that it covers visual depictions indistinguishable from real people. Written depictions aren’t considered illegal, probably because it would be too broad and might implicate, say, someone vividly recounting their own experiences in an autobiography.

And that’s the issue with the Ban Things in Bad Taste approach: there’s no way to be fair when enforcing it without innocent people getting slammed with false positives. The problem with censorship is that it’s a train that’s really tough to stop once it gets going–sure, if tomorrow AO3 banned explicit pwp of any characters under the age of 12 then I wouldn’t be affected at all. However, how long would it take for my story where two characters have implied sex as young teens (where it’s a traumatic event and a defining moment in the main characters’ life) gets flagged? How long until “child porn” gets expanded to include any mention of teens having sex at all? How long until “pedophilia” means “an age gap of two years between adults”? How long until you’re banned from writing anything LGBT+ because any and all depictions of queer relationships are considered “fetishistic” to some people?

You may think that I’m being hyperbolic, but I’m really not. The kind of people who champion the purity brigade are not about trying to make the world safer or better–if they were, they’d be volunteering time and/or money to organizations that combat these social ills in real life rather than organizing libel campaigns about content creators and fiction archives–they’re in it for control. They’re pitching a fit at AO3 because the staff has repeatedly said that they are anti-censorship across the board, and because they don’t allow dogpiling and bullying that these people love to engage in on other sites (like this one).

Do I like that those stories are there? No, I don’t. The thought of them makes my stomach turn, which is why I don’t seek them out. However, I’m not going to try and ban them, because that opens up a can of worms that a) won’t actually solve any real life child abuse issues, and b) will more than likely just come around to bite me in the ass in the future.

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you stumble onto the stories? Were they improperly tagged? If so, then report that, because not tagging things appropriately is an issue. If you find realistic visual depictions of kids in sexual situations, or god forbid actual photos/video/whatever, then report that immediately as well, because AO3 makes it clear that real, illegal child porn is not allowed and will be passed on to the authorities.

For fictional stories about fictional kids, however, I recommend you block users or blacklist tags so you don’t have to run into it. Someone in the notes of the earlier post did some searching on the Archive and it turns out that out of all the hosted fics, the only ones with explicit sexual content about actual children characters was some absurdly small figure like 0.00000000016% or something like that. It’s hardly some widespread epidemic like the purity brigade wants to make out so that people join their side. Always do a bit of investigating into how people define terms, too, and check it out to see if there’s any general shipping wank involved.

I understand the climate and events that led to AO3′s firm anti-censorship policy, and I respect it, just like I respect the right of other private sites to exclude certain things. Since there’s no actual evidence that anyone writing or reading those stories is going out and hurting kids in real life, there’s no moral imperative to not just avoid it. (Ironically, you’d probably never even know that content was there if not for purity wankers bringing it up every five minutes. They’re way better at advertising and spreading this kind of content than anyone who enjoys it.)

Now, if you want to know what DOES actually make a positive impact in terms of stopping child abuse (and all abuse in general really), here you go: education. Teaching people, especially young kids, what to watch out for is the best way to inoculate them against being taken advantage of. Make it clear what it looks like to be manipulated via grooming, guilt, fear, etc. Show them what to do to get out of a situation like that when they realize they’re in one. Allow people to talk about their experiences in whatever way is best for them to express it.

Armed with knowledge of what is right and wrong, healthy and unhealthy in real life, no fictional story can dupe someone into thinking abuse is normal, no matter how romanticized it may be. 

[dancerstudying]

first semester: grades + some thoughts

hi friends! so, I just finished my first semester of college (aka university to those of you not in the US). after a week of finals and lots of stress, I’m now at home, safely ensconced in the couch doing as little as possible. however, final grades were due today, so I thought I’d take a moment to run through what my grades were and kind of reflect on them. I wanted to do this both bc I thought it could give people a better idea of the transition b/t high school and college grades-wise, and also as a record for myself.

a note/disclaimer:

if you don’t want to know what my grades were, you don’t have to read this! I’m not trying to brag and I don’t want this to be something to compare yourself to! everyone is on their own path and has their own definition of success -- a bad grade for me might be a great one for you, and vise versa.

also, this will probably get pretty long. grab a snack.

some background about grades in the US

grades are given on a scale from A to F, with A being the best and F being a fail (we skip E tho idk why). grades are based on a combo of exams, quizzes, assignments, and essays, with the specific percentage/which of these counts determined by the professor. this varies from school to school or even from class to class but generally the scale is

A: >93.3%

A-: 90-93.3%

B+: 86.7-89.9%

B: 83.4-86.6%

B-: 80-83.3%

ok I’m tired of typing things out but you get the point. this pattern continues in the 70s for C and the 60s for D. usually anything below a 60 is an F (fail) but again this can depend. some classes are graded on a curve, where the grade boundaries are moved either up or down so that the majority of students get a B-/C+, which is supposed to be the average. this prevents grade inflation and also helps you out if the class is very difficult and test averages are in the 50s or 60s (pretty common for classes like organic chemistry).

some background about my grades in high school

I feel like this info is important for context and also to give an idea of the academic level I generally operate at (okay that sounds v pretentious). anyway, it’s pretty generally expected that you can expect to see a drop in your grades from high school to college. this differs based on a ton of things, but almost everyone experiences it so it’s totally normal and to be expected! anyway, I went to a fairly competitive and well-ranked public (government funded) high school, and I grew up in a well-educated university town, so I felt I was pretty prepared for college. I took mostly AP/honors courses and ended with a 3.95 GPA (unweighted) when I graduated. basically, I was almost a straight A student with a few Bs in there (thanks to pre-calc and AP Spanish). 

I’m now at a fairly selective school, though not anything close to the Ivy League -- I think the acceptance rate for my class was 17-18%. of course, selectivity is not a great indicator of how difficult classes are, as many selective schools (particularly Ivy Leagues) have rampant grade inflation.

my majors are neuroscience and dance and I’m on a pre-med track.

anyway, let’s get down to the nitty gritty: my grades this semester.

early modern England (3 credit hours): A- 

I took this course because I placed out of introductory writing but still needed a writing-intensive course and it seemed interesting enough. honestly, it was much more difficult than I expected. I consider myself a fairly good writer, but the professor I had for this course was a tough grader for papers. I did manage to get an A on my final paper which was a victory. after easily getting all As in writing and history classes in high school, an A- is a little hard to accept. however, I worked really hard in this class and am honestly satisfied with my grade as I know most people do not do as well in this class. it was also a 2000 (sophomore level) class, so I was definitely being challenged.

intensive ballet IV (3 credit hours): B+

so, this is my lowest grade. at first, I was really disappointed by it, but it is a 4000 level course (mostly juniors and seniors) and we’re graded based partially on skill, so I have to accept it and move on and just hope to do better next semester as I’m taking ballet IV again. I know I could have worked harder in this class so I’m not going to complain about it, just learn from it and try to improve.

intro to cell & molecular biology (3 credit hours): A

this is probably what I’m proudest of. this class is known for being a true weed-out course for pre-meds and most people just hope to pass, but I got an A! it feels especially good because I know I worked hard for it and didn’t just skate by on natural intelligence. I also hadn’t taken biology since freshman year of high school so there was a steep learning curve. I didn’t just do well, I honestly learned so much and doing well in this class confirmed for me that pre-med is the right choice.

general chemistry I - lecture (3 credit hours): A-

I have such a complicated relationship with chemistry, and honestly, I’m really glad I’m done with this class. I hate to blame professors but sometimes you just get a really bad one and this was one of those cases. his lectures were extremely disorganized and he didn’t explain things clearly at all. it’s partially my fault that I didn’t get an A, though, as I definitely could have put more time and thought into studying, especially for the final. it was just so hard to stay motivated when I could barely follow lectures. I have to take gen chem II next semester but thank god I have a different professor.

general chemistry I - lab (1 credit hour): A

not much to say about this one. I’m happy to have gotten an A since it really intimidated me at first -- lab in college is way more serious than in high school. I learned how to write a proper lab report which is an important skill as a science major.

honors colloquium (1.5 credit hours): A

I loved this class soooo freaking much. everyone in the honors program has to take a first year seminar and I chose one about modernism and if it’s still relevant to the contemporary world. it was also a discussion based class which I love and I got to write my final paper on literally any topic I wanted and how it was related to modernism (mine was about the modernist search for identity in The Handmaid’s Tale, and I’m so proud of that paper, especially considering I wrote it the day it was due). anyway, not a super hard class, but still proud of that A.

urban sociology (3 credit hours): A

another class which I loved. I found it kind of easy as it was mostly memorization of concepts and theorists and I have a good memory, but I did put more effort in than I would have to an “easy” class in high school, and was rewarded by getting 100% on the final! would highly recommend sociology to literally anyone -- I’m taking another sociology class next semester and am considering a minor in it.

dance company (1 credit hour): A

this is like, not a real grade because dance company isn’t even a real class -- it’s just on my schedule so I can get credit for performing in the fall dance show. I’m pretty sure everyone who shows up to rehearsals and performances gets an A. regardless, I’m happy for the boost to my GPA.

so that’s it! overall, I ended with a 3.7925 GPA. I have to confess that it is slightly lower than I would have liked, but I’m overall happy with my efforts considering this was my first semester of college. my class load next semester is a little bit lighter, both in terms of credits and in terms of difficulty of classes, so that will hopefully make things a little more manageable. I have to have a 3.6 by the end of this year and a 3.8 by the end of sophomore year to stay in the honors program, and considering I’m almost at a 3.8 now I think it’s completely doable. 

I hope this was useful to those of you who are starting college soon. obviously this differs from school to school and especially if you’re not in the US, but in general you can expect a slight dip in your grades. it shouldn’t be anything dramatic if you can keep organized and on top of things, but there are a lot of transitions associated with starting college so don’t feel badly if things don’t go according to plan! you have time to make up for it, and med schools/law schools/grad schools know that grades your first semester of freshman year are not necessarily fully reflective of your abilities and will likely pay more attention to your grades later on.

thanks for reading this whole rambling thing! also, I might make a separate post about differences in grades between high school and college (how things are weighted, harshness of grading, etc.) so let me know if you’d find that helpful!

[botanyshitposts]

so ive recently started attending a weekly academic journal club run by a plant genetics lab on campus. there’s maybe 8 of us + the lab’s PI, and each week we read a specific scientific paper, then meet at a cafe a little off campus to talk about it. the PI leads the discussion. we talk about the paper, about the data, about how it’s written and what they learned, and every so often- whenever something in the data is surprising- the PI asks, does anyone have any ideas why that might be? 

that like. blew my mind. after going through the public school system and all that, i knew that scientists figure out new things through papers and stuff, but the process I’d been taught went more like this: 

1. learn about the thing. the answer for the question you’re going to be graded on is already taught to you as you learn it

2. extrapolate back to what you already learned

3. conduct experiment and give report with answers that you already knew

4. next experiment

this was and is how all my gen-ed labs are taught to me now, as an undergraduate in college. being asked this paper shows that they learned x thing. does anyone have any crazy hypotheses as to why that might be? goes against everything i’d been taught about how science works. i had an abstract idea that people did this, that the so called ‘cutting edge of science’ was the cutting edge of science in that there were people out there asking questions about stuff and not knowing the answers, but i personally had never been put in a position where someone asked me what I thought would happen without there being a score attached to whatever i said. the question being asked here isn’t searching for what you read in the past chapter to decide a grade; it’s asking based on your personal experience and exploration in what you know, with no limits to what ideas you can generate and no wrong answers and no grades attached, what do you think might be behind this weird thing that an explanation doesn’t exist for yet? 

and like.....spoiler alert....that question is way more exciting. it’s kind of dawned on me that the way we are taught as young scientists in science labs from elementary education to undergrads in college is not normal science. it’s necessary that you learn those things and get a basis, but the big picture is that if you end up doing real science, you won’t know the answer already, and not knowing the answer is amazing. 

the last paper we read was about DNA methylation in flowering plants. i knew about DNA methylation because i learned about it in AP bio last year, in my senior year of high school. before the meeting started i was like, ‘yeah i don’t understand all of this paper but i tried my best’, and like two grad students were like ‘same lol’. throughout the meeting, i drew on my own experience in the past few years absorbing random botany knowledge that seemingly had no purpose  until now, and it was helpful. i didn’t consider myself a scientist because i’m an undergrad without a degree, but i asked questions that no one else knew the answer to, either, because scientists don’t actually know everything and actually have to read up on various topics if they don’t know a lot about them, which also shocked me. i have no idea if i was being naive or not, but at this moment as an undergrad, being asked what i thought about something? what i thought? me? not a scientist, just someone who reads a lot about plants and took an AP course last year? 

and get this: some of my hypotheses were valid. we speculated on a few. they were valid speculations stemming from what we were reading and what i learned on my own that the Real Scientists didn’t know the answer to, and if they were wrong, it didn’t matter. isn’t that wild???

[bethgreeneishopeunseen]

how is your life going? Ive followed you for a while and I was curious how your coping without your family? best of luck xx

Hey anon! Your message actually motivated me to answer a few asks about my personal life (x) (x). I’ve been closed off on this blog most of the year, and it’s empowering to know that people have listened to my story and are following what happens to me. I started my senior year of college last month – taking five classes (three of which are once a week), working on capstone materials. I have three majors, but through fastidious planning I’ll be graduating on time in the spring. Even with my volatile mental health, I’m still fighting to live as normally as possible. I’m even still working some part-time jobs, which include a new position as a student assistant at the reinvigorated Women’s Center on my campus. I will be helping with event prep and can even be in charge of my own projects. When she and I first met, I told my boss about ideas that I had for a project about financial independence for women and financial abuse. Financial/economic abuse is found in 99% of domestic violence cases, it’s one of the most dehumanizing forms of covert abuse and often what forces the target to break away. That’s what happened with me. 

“And if he spends my change then he had it coming.”

-Taylor Swift, I Did Something Bad

When I started working at 18, I gave my parents most of my wages so they could keep them for school; it was easy for them as their names were on my bank account. At the end of my sophomore year it became clear that they were focused only on how much I brought in, as they threw in my face that my brother made more than me. When he went to school in D.C., a city with +$10 minimum wage, and didn’t take classes everyday like me. Over the summer was when things came to a head, especially in July when I received my first paycheck. 

In hindsight, my parents weren’t using my money for my education but rather for themselves and maybe my brother’s tuition too. When my friends suggested the possibility to me last summer, I was almost broken by it. If they could do that, especially after a lifetime of hearing, “We treat you two the same,” then anything was possible and the lies were even greater than I could image. I don’t know exactly where the money was going – maybe the small recording studio my father wanted to construct – but the details don’t matter anymore. I was taken advantage of and exploited, but I got out, and that’s what matters.

Working at the center is empowering me, knowing that I can use my pain to help others. And I can do so much with this project. A credit union has an office on our campus, and I plan on reaching out to it, probably for an actual educational event. I’ve even started EMDR in counseling. EMDR is a highly successful treatment for trauma, based in bilateral stimulation of the brain akin to what it does during REM sleep. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing; counselors often move their fingers or something similar, having patients follow with their eyes. It’s believed to repair damage to the campus, and it works with memories trapped in the body and subconscious, moving them from short-term into long-term. It sounds kind of magical, and it can feel magical, in the almost dark, primal way that magic is in a fairytale. I’ve only done two sessions of the eight I’m allowed in a semester, but this treatment gives me the most hope in rebuilding my mental health and my sense of self.

I had my second session on Friday.  I had asked my counselor to help me work with a trigger related to an old doll of me. I collected Kelly dolls when I was very little, and my favorite one went missing, never found again. After I spoke with friends, I think my parents may have taken her. She was an Easter present when I was three-ish, and later I created a story that explained her disappearance, saying that the Easter Bunny kidnapped her. Kind of strange that an Easter gift would be seized by the very giver, no? In France I looked up the doll and was noticeable triggered by a website that archived pictures of the dolls, especially by that particular Kelly character and her costumes/doll personas. The website mentioned a Kelly movie that I had a kid, and when I watched it on YouTube, I could make it through the first 30 seconds before I had to close the window – it upset me that much. I rested the trigger a week-ish before this session, and the images alone rendered me less verbal, nauseous, and hit with a recurring body pain that I think is a symptom of muscle armoring.

There is a block in my mind related to that doll, something violent in that particular neural network. I could feel it during the session, and my memories were even more fragmented than usual. (I probably remember less than ten percent of my childhood, another way my family dehumanized me.) I often heard my father yelling my name. When I focused on my doll, for a moment I went back to being about three years old, tears in my eyes and a quiver in my voice. I just said, “I miss her. She’s gone. Something happened to her. She’s down somewhere in the dark, and I can’t save her.” At the same time I kept having strange bodily sensations, my nerves tingling and shots of pain in my neck. There was a reoccurring feeling of someone at my shoulder and/or looming over me. Likely my father. 

Less than ten minutes after I left that session I vomited and then experienced lightheadedness, a mildly unbalanced walk like a drunk, and an almost trippy moment under some pine trees. (I think the way they towered over me reminded me of some tiny pine trees near the beach house of my childhood – brains are weird.) The whole experience was like being shrunken down and then stretched back out in some personal Wonderland. Before my counselor even activated the bilateral stimulation, when she had me just focus on the dolls, I could feel the body of my childhood self  within my adult one – as if something had shrunken and revealed another, more delicate and vulnerable layer. All of that is another reason why I will never do hard drugs.

It’s not easy now, but the goal is to make the rest of my life easier. I don’t miss my family or old friends from Delaware in the slightest; sometimes I miss the idea of it all. Just the idea, like the memory of a dream. My ambition and drive are pretty much gone, my sense of identity shattered and dead. Subjects like French, which I took with ease, are harder than ever for me. But I’ve started writing again. I went to my school’s art gallery opening at the beginning of the month, and there I spoke with a woman and mentioned my story. I didn’t go into detail; it wasn’t the giant tragic backstory for my character. It was simply a thing to note as an example of my strength and all that I’ve achieved. In that moment, it was like I had flashed into a future where I have moved past this and let it settle into the back. A future where I was confident and safe with myself, twirling a glass of wine. That’s why the Delicate music video best captures my headspace. Alone and vulnerable, I am learning to love myself. At the same time, I am constantly cycling through an emotional maelstrom. I am Taylor at the dive bar, taking a deep breath, and preparing herself to enter the unsafe and be seen again. 

[phawareglobal]

Tarya Morel - phaware® interview 365

In this episode, Canadian pulmonary hypertension patient, Tarya Morel discusses parenting in times of a pandemic.

Tarya Morel: My name's Tarya. I live in Vancouver, B.C., in Canada, and I'm a mom. I have two kids, one by birth and one by foster.

I was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension shortly after the birth of my son. I've heard from so many other moms out there. That was their journey, too. I know that for women who are diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, if we do have kids, because I know we're told often that we probably shouldn't once we have our diagnosis, but if we come to that diagnosis after having had kids, a lot of women that I've heard from have talked about having sort of subclinical symptoms before and then that getting just kicked into high gear through pregnancy, because pregnancy is no joke. It does all kinds of stuff to your body that really sort of brings those other things to light. So, I'm one of those women.

When I first got diagnosed, I had this infant, I had this little baby who needed me. It was a wild experience, because you have all these ideas about what parenthood is going to look like, and then it all just gets completely flipped upside down. Suddenly, they're talking about putting me on a pump and IV meds with this attachment, and I'm picturing this little baby who grabs everything and puts everything in their mouth. I'm thinking like, "Oh my God, he's going to reprogram this thing and I'm going to be trying to decode it like an episode of 24 before the meds stop running." It was like, it was a lot to integrate in a really short period of time. At the same time, I would say at the beginning, he was my salvation.

I get this life threatening diagnosis. I was severe when I first got diagnosed. I really thought that I only had like maybe a year or two left based on the statistics that I'd read online and where I was already at. I thought, "Okay, well, I get a couple good years with this baby." It really forced me to be super present with him because a baby doesn't know. They don't know that there's really heavy, serious stuff going on. I had just lost my dad the week before I got my diagnosis. I think he saved me from wanting to just go into bed and pull the covers over my head and cry all day.

I got very lucky in that I responded super well to the meds and I did really well for a number of years. I've had my ups and downs. I've had to change meds a few times and had more hospital stays than I would like. I also managed to do a lot of things that I never thought were going to be possible. I went back to work part-time at first, found an amazing job, and now I work full-time from home. Well, from home for the last two years during this pandemic. That's a whole other thing.

Parenting through a pandemic, I think all of us who have done it, navigating the challenges of, "Do I put my kids in school? Do I not put my kids in school? How do we navigate social interactions?", trying to keep them entertained and educated, while also trying to maintain my full-time employment. I think it's been hard for parents across the board, but then you throw a chronic illness into the mix, and it's absurd. These last couple years have been so crazy and my kids have been my salvation through it. We've had a lot of fun together, like a lot of experiences that we probably wouldn't have had because they would've been out of the house doing their own thing, and we really were forced to just be each other's best friends.

You want to shield your kids and you want to protect them from the big, bad scaries of life. Sometimes when you have a disease like pulmonary hypertension, you can't do that. They just become a part of what's happening because they're here and they see it. My kids have visited me in the hospital more times than I would like, that's more normal for them than I would enjoy. I was on IV meds for a number of years. In the last year of it, I had lots and lots of problems. Lots of infections, lots of clotting, lots of issues.

I remember one time, I had an issue where I had a line that was just getting constantly clotted. I don't know if you know much about how the line issues work, you probably do, but you need that medication to be running. It's very much an emergency when that stops, so you need it to happen quickly. What was happening is I couldn't get the cap off of one of the things. My niece was home and I had to ask her, "Can you go next door and get a pair of pliers from the neighbor immediately?" She saw the panic in my eyes and she went next door and she got it settled. She knew, because she'd sort of seen this kind of thing play out before, that she had sort of 911 on the standby and she was ready to go. She was, I think, 15 or 16 years old at the time. That's a lot more vigilant than a teenager I think should have to be. At the same time, I think my kids are going to grow up with a lot of empathy, because of what they've seen this disease do and what they've seen us have to deal with as a family unit. There's a good side to it. I would still not choose it given the option, but they're building some character.

I'd happily go the rest of my life and never hear the term unprecedented times, but that's where we've been for the last couple of years. For the kids, they're right in that middle of that social development that is so important for them. I think at the beginning, it was actually easier, when everyone was on the same page. There was very much this social understanding of stay home, let's all do what we can to keep each other safe. My kids made a lot of use of online interactions in a really good way, I think. My youngest plays online games and manages to connect with his friend in Norway all the time, which is really kind of cool. It wasn't something that we saw a lot of happen and managed to stay connected with his school friends a lot through that, which was really nice to see.

I think it was hardest for the teenager, for my older one, because she was, I guess, 15 when this started. She's 17 now. She's in grade 12. She missed her whole grade 11 year. Did schooling from home. Did really well academically, but I think it was really difficult for her socially. Then things started to get better, and then she got a job, and now she's working in retail. We've sent her back to school, because it's grade 12, and I couldn't take that from her.

But I would say that right now is actually the hardest time, I think, because we're in this place now where despite the fact that, epidemiologically, this is the worst wave. We have more people in hospital than we've ever seen before. Way more cases than we ever anticipated were possible. At least here in B.C. Everybody's kind of given up. We have very little in the way of public health restrictions. There are no online options for kids with medical vulnerabilities.

Even my younger one, who I would prefer to have home right now, at least until he can get his second dose of vaccine, because we don't even have access to that yet here in B.C., because it's not just me. Yes, I am worried about getting COVID from the kids. A hundred percent. I'm as vaccinated as I can be, so I'm hoping that will keep me safe. But I would say I'm equally worried for them, because even though I know the risk is low for them to have long-term impacts, I live with breathlessness every day and I don't want that for them. I know that there's some proportion of people that have long-term symptoms of COVID. Just as a parent, I want to protect them from that. It's preventable. Sending them back into just buildings full of people where there are just so many sick kids walking around, wearing masks poorly, coughing on each other, it's terrifying to me, but that's where we're at in B.C.

I find it so difficult to reconcile, because this wave is global. We've got everybody going through it at the same time. It is spreading like absolute wildfire. It's also the moment when we seem to have the least governmental and social willingness to act. I get pandemic fatigue. I get it. People are tired of it. There's a lot of protestors. It's become very political. But for people like me, that's, I think, extra scary because even with my boosters, I worry about what this will do to me and my disease progression. My health hasn't been super stable lately, and so I worry about this accelerating my need for a transplant or at the very least lining me up in the hospital. Like I said, I'm just so worried about the kids contracting this and having long-term health issues. It's just not what I want for them.

The other wrinkle is that I also became single right before the pandemic. Moving into single parenthood or co-parenting, which co-parenting through a pandemic, wow is that super fun, and not necessarily always agreeing on restrictions, and travel, and school, and all the rest of that, that's a whole other piece to navigate. Again, I have so much empathy for everybody navigating this pandemic right now, because we've all got our own challenges through it and it's hard. But I think I learned through that, and through the pandemic, and figuring out my own self, is that I am so much stronger than I thought that I was.

I think one of the reasons that I stayed in the relationship I was in so long was that I was really afraid, as a person with a chronic illness, that I couldn't do things for myself. All of that housework, figuring out meals and the dishes, and trying to work full-time, and get the kids to school, and all that, it all felt so overwhelming. With the help of good friends and being able to outsource some of those chores, I have a house cleaner who comes in once a month now, and I will never go back. It's amazing.

I really figured out that my kids were also a lot stronger than I thought that they were than I ever expected them to be in how they helped me out, and how they take care of themselves, and how much empathy that they have in taking care of the people around them. I'm so grateful for that. For the amount of time we've gotten to spend together. Especially with a teenager, you expect that they will be out and about. When she was younger, she was. She was super independent. She knows how to get around the city on the bus, but now we're having to give her rides all the time, and we get to chat in the car. It's just an experience that I wouldn't have had otherwise. There's upsides, too.

I think if I was to give advice to other parents with PH, because I know it's really challenging and it's really intimidating and it's scary, I think there's a lot of social pressure on women in general to be and do all of the things. To be the mom who does all of the birthday planning, all of the Halloween costume making, all of the homework help, all of the meal planning, all of the Christmas shopping. There are so many roles that moms fill, and on top of their work, if they work, and on top of all the family obligations, and all the rest of it. Be gentle with yourself. I would say for anyone, especially through this pandemic, trying to be that mom is impossible. Then when you throw a chronic illness on top of it, you can send yourself into an illness episode just trying to get all the things done. I would encourage everyone to ask for help a lot. Often, the people around you want to help. They just don't know how.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my midwife a long time ago, who told me to keep a list of actionable tasks on a whiteboard or something on my fridge, so that when people asked if there was anything they could do, you have a concrete thing to give them to do, because people want to help. They just don't know how. If you need dog food picked up and you're talking to, a friend, "Is there anything I can get for you?" "Yeah. You know what? Can you get me some dog food?" They'll do that, and then they'll feel like they've contributed to your life, too. Right? Everybody wins in that situation. Ask for lots of help. Be gentle with yourself. This is hard and you're probably doing a lot better than you think you are.

I'm Tarya Morel, and I'm aware that I'm rare.

Learn more about pulmonary hypertension trials at www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials. Never miss an episode with the phaware® podcast app. Follow us @phaware on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube & Linkedin Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware #ClinicalTrials @TaryaMorel @phacanada #covid19

Listen and View more on the official phaware™ podcast site

[floralkittygambler]

Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

[onceuponatimeberry]

Grey

Hey guys, first thing first, warning for brief description of depression ( actually it depends on how you dechiper it) and self-blame. I have never posted something like this before and im only writing this based on personal view and experience so pls any feedback is valued, any at all!

———–

Aaron honestly had nothing to mope about.

No, really.

He had just returned from a nice outing with his best friends- who were both amazing people and Aaron loved them dearly (goodness, he really did)-, he was going to graduate from his final year at Magisterium which would earn him a complete gold cuff and he had even nailed a secure spot in Collegian by his second semester.

So why? Why was he laying on the edge of his bed, unmoving, legs dangling off the mattress awkwardly, fully dressed in the clothes he had worn out? He didn’t exactly want to sleep in dirty clothes from a rather eventful picnic but he didn’t exactly want to get up and change either (he really should). He knew staying like this would end in a massive back pain but he didn’t feel the urge to shuffle to a comfortable position (he knew he really should).

He just laid there; bothered and aware by the fact that -eventually- he had moved but took no action about it. He had his homework on his mind too (god, he really, really should). He knew where it was -on his desk untouched since Friday night- and he definitely knew how much that essay would account for in his final theory exam. He, like every other Gold Year mage, felt the heavy pressure of graduation heavy on his chest.

Now if he was really so worried about finishing it, he could simply get up and well- finish it.

So, didn’t he?

Why let the stress loom over him at the thought of such a doable task? He could just do it.

Aaron was cold too.

He had forgotten to turn off the air-conditioning in his dorm before he left so he was greeted with humid, cool breeze at the front door. He should had grabbed the remote control before he plopped onto his bed because suddenly the idea of reaching over to his nightstand was too vigorous (it’s just too much work).

So many things he had to do, so many of them he would do, and even more of them he could do.

He just didn’t want to do them…? No, that didn’t seem right.

It wasn’t fair to say that he couldn’t do them either because really, he knew that he could (if he just got up and just did it for god’s sake).

Above all, lord knows he should do them, these things would greatly benefit him and more importantly, he needed to do it. It was how life worked; you give effort and you get results (though the results and efforts weren’t also equivalent).

Instead, there he was moping.

Was it moping? He genuinely didn’t think he was sad or anything but he wouldn’t call himself happy? and besides, nothing had happened that had hurt his mood or anything.

So, if Aaron Stewart had to give his current feeling a name, he’d call it grey.

Grey like when a new graphic is loading, it’s just blank for a moment. Neither fully something nor absolutely nothing. Like he was caught in the middle of every emotion he has ever felt in life and just stuck there, unable to actually feel any of those emotions. No, not numb. He felt.

But he didn’t know what he felt.

Unmotivated? Possibly. Tired? Well… Upset? He hoped not. Frustrated? At what?

Aaron remained still on his bed. (Maybe hours have passed? How much time had he wasted? God, he truly was pointless.)

Suddenly, there was an overwhelming wave of shame raining on the boy, making him feel like he was drowning in it (stupid, stupid, stupid). It rushed up his throat and flushed his cheeks. It was almost painful to feel so strongly after having adjusted to the grey. It was guilt.

Humiliation.

(stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…)

He was ungrateful, he knew it. He had countless blessings in his life. Countless. Life was good. He had a family, friends, education, food, warmth, health- heck, magic. Aaron was so angry at himself. He was so selfish. So spoiled. He had everything he needed. Yet, there he laid, moping.

(selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish, SELFISH)

He had no right to be upset, compared to Call who couldn’t remember what it was like to have wind whip past your face when you run fast enough, who couldn’t whish up a little magic without the constant fear breathing down his neck that he’ll get caught (who would ever stop fearing the Enemy of Death), or compared to Tamara who had to stand tall with the weight of her sisters’ accomplishment bearing on her own shoulders and scavenge her way to outdo every single medal they received, who couldn’t let anything, anything hurt her image so she wouldn’t have to avert her eyes from her parents’ steel gaze whenever they met.

God, he was awful. Pitying his own situation when there was so much more hurt around him. He had no right to feel whatever it was he felt.

None at all.

Aaron honestly had nothing to mope about.

———-

Please do share your opinions! Sorry it was a filler with literally no plot, i think ive lost my writing abilities after the hiatus so pls be patient with me as i figure how doing all this works again :)

Thoughts?

~Bërrÿ

[trecblog]

Coronavirus and Race Attacks: Racial Violence and Racial Terror in a British Historical Context

“In our own time, the steady erosion of the inherited privileges of race has destabalised western identities and institutions – and it has unveiled racism as an enduringly potent political force, empowering volatile demagogues in the heart of the modern west...Today, as white supremecists feverishly build transnational alliances, it becomes imperative to ask, as Dubois did in 1910: 'What is whiteness that one should so desire it?”.[i]

“When white men are shooting black people, some of it is malice and some an out-of-control image of blackness in their minds. Darren Wilson told the jury that he shot Michael Brown because he looked “like a demon”. And I don’t disbelieve it. Blackness in the white imagination has nothing to do with black people”.[ii]

“Neither civilized reason nor Christian love would cause any of those people to treat you as they presumably wanted to be treated; only the fear of your power to retaliate would cause them to do that, or to seem to do it, which was (and is) good enough. There appears to be a vast amount of confusion on this point, but I do not know many Negroes who are eager to be “accepted” by white people, still less to be loved by them; they, the blacks, simply don’t wish to be beaten over the head by the whites every instant of our brief passage on this planet. White people in this country will have quite enough to do in learning how to accept and love themselves and each other, and when they have achieved this—which will not be tomorrow and may very well be never—the Negro problem will no longer exist, for it will no longer be needed”.[iii]

This paper explores the enduring phenomenon of racial violence against Black[iv] people in the White western world in general and in the United Kingdom, in particular. This engages the historical antecedents of violence against Black people and the convergence of social phenomena such as race, class and gender in the everyday lived experiences of ordinary, everyday Black people. Our exploration begins its focus on the current racial violence, engendered by the coronavirus pandemic, which has dramatically increased in Britain and the White western world. We place this phenomenon within the broader context of racial terrorism and racist harassment and attacks against Black people, which have been historically endemic to British society, in particular and the wider western world in general. In our review, we see that current manifestation of racial violence is in fact a continuation of over 500 years of racial oppression and violence which has been central to concepts of White identity. We see that the coronavirus inspired violence is but the tip of the iceberg of a deep enduring legacy of violence against Black people and crucially, a crisis and fracture in foundation of the mirage of a multinational non-racial society.

The coronavirus pandemic has inspired and inflamed racism and racial attacks and harassment in the United Kingdom, placing people of East Asian origin[v] in the cross hairs of violence which has historically been directed at and targeted people of African Caribbean and South Asian origin. In this regard, it has been argued by a British-Chinese Journalist that the “coronavirus panic” has made Britain a “more hostile environment”, with the virus being “racialised as a Chinese virus”.[vi] Many people seem to have “pinpointed the virus” as a Chinese virus, with people “seeming to have put a whole race behind it”, exposing underlying prejudices towards Chinese people or anyone looking Chinese.[vii] Many of the racial attacks have been stimulated or triggered by a kind of “maskaphobia” or fear of masks, with the majority of victims wearing masks and being called “virus” when attacked.[viii] This has led to an exodus of Chinese students in British universities “fleeing back to China” amid concerns about the British government's “handling of the spread of the virus” and the increase in racist attacks “triggered by so called maskphobia”.[ix]

This contagion of racist attacks and harassment of Chinese and East Asian people has in fact been taking place globally,[x] including the United States,[xi] Australia,[xii]  Germany,[xiii] Italy,[xiv] Belgium,[xv] Canada[xvi] and India.[xvii] In France, despite laws outlawing the collection of racial and ethnic data,[xviii] there is growing evidence of racial attacks and harassment against Chinese and East Asian peoples.[xix] Ironically, China itself has not been immune to the contagion racial violence, harassment and abuse in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, with Africans being targeted in an outbreak of a spew of race attacks and harassment in China.[xx]

In a British context, the Director of London Services at Stop Hate UK, Mike Ainsworth, has indicated that his organization has seen a “spike in hate crimes and incidents” being reported by Asian communities and individuals in the UK, with a “significant increase” in calls to his organization's help line from the Chinese community, with incidents ranging from “name calling”, to “spitting”, to “someone being pushed in the road in the path of oncoming vehicles”.[xxi] Ainaworth called the increase a “modest but marked one”, given that his organization “traditionally didn't receive calls whatsoever” from the Chinese community.[xxii] He asserts that:

“There’s a narrative that happens with hate crime from the perpetrator which says, ‘I am attacking you, but actually lots of people agree with me.’ Where hate crime becomes really dangerous is if victims start to believe that....I’ve talked to victims of hate crime in London, and one of the things they say is ‘being racially abused on the tube station is horrible, but having two hundred people stand there saying nothing is the bit that starts to really upset me and corrode my trust in society”.[xxiii]

This complicity is reflected in the failure of Prime Minister Boris Johnson to condemn this alarming rise of racial terrorism, with it being asserted that the “lack of official condemnation” is likely to come as a “missed opportunity for many Asians living in the UK”, a group that in 2017 reported the country’s highest level of discrimination”.[xxiv]  It also represents a failure to tackle what “both anecdotal evidence and research” have long described as a “serious but hidden and under-reported problem” in British society, “especially for the UK’s Chinese population”.[xxv] It has been pointed out that the Chinese community is “prone to under-reporting” incidents of racially motivated attacks due to a “significant lack of confidence in the police”.[xxvi]

This failure of the British government to address the phenomenon of racial terrorism, race attacks and racial harassment is of particular concern, given the indication that, in the “aftermath of the EU referendum”, there was a marked increase in incidents of racist abuse,[xxvii]  which  “began to be shared on social media almost immediately”, with “long-established advocacy and campaigning organisations” also noting “sharp increases” in the number of incidents being reported to them, as well as requests for support in a “hostile and racially charged Britain”.[xxviii] Similarly,  Bristol-based Stand Against Racism and Inequality (SARI) have revealed that more people had been approaching it for advice, with another organization, Just West Yorkshire having called for an audit of “race hate crime arrangements” because of “concerns about the response to violence and abuse in the region”.[xxix] Research by the Institute of Race Relations of some 134 post-Brexit incidents, the majority of which were “incidents of racist abuse”,  including “physical assaults, arson attacks, death threats and stabbings” with several people being “hospitalised”, with the “most frequent ‘targets” being “European migrants”,  particularly “eastern European migrants” and “Muslims”. But there were also were “incidents against Black people” and “Jewish people”. People were “singled out for attack” on the basis of “speaking a foreign language”, or “presumptions about their ‘right’ to be here” with children being among those who “received abuse”, sometimes “traveling to or from school”.[xxx]

This official ambivalence is nothing new, as it has been earlier indicated that “too many people in power”  condemn racism because they “pass it off” as the actions of an ”insecure, badly-educated and thuggish minority”, with verbal and physical abuse being treated “almost like an act of nature” or some “inexplicable force”,  the “explosive reaction of inadequate individuals”. But when “laws, policies and procedures” are “related back” to explain the “baseline for hateful acts”, British legislators have not been “so keen to listen”.[xxxi] More crucially, it has been contended that the “spike in race hatred” has had a “direct impetus” from the “divisive approach to race, religion and migration” which is now “official policy” and that, if a “hostile environment is embedded politically”, why should we be “surprised” when it “takes root culturally?”.[xxxii] In this regard, hate crimes are intricately linked to the “culture” of British society, with it being possible to trace a relationship between “hate’, media frameworks, government policy and institutional practices”.[xxxiii]

In this respect, it has been asserted that the “dominant narrative of racist violence” following the referendum consequently becomes one of “individualised hate, divorced from any political context” and that, “at best”, the context is the “language of the referendum itself”.[xxxiv] In this respect, racist violence was generally framed simply as part of a “spike” following the referendum, which in turn portrayed racism as some kind of “aberration in an otherwise tolerant” country, a sentiment “echoed again and again” by “political figures and criminal justice representatives”, and “reproduced in the media”.[xxxv] Burnett contends that, without in any way “downplaying” the level of racist abuse and violence following the referendum, its “roots” have to be sought in the way that a “much broader political context”, including the “policies and practices” of successive governments, had been its “pump primer”. But “unable or unwilling” to acknowledge this, political figures have “articulated” racist violence as the “domain of isolated thugs’ or ‘yobs” with the implications of this being that racism becomes defined as something “rooted in the actions of a few”, often already “marginalised” communities.[xxxvi]

During the Referendum campaign, a report by the European Commission against Racism and Intolerance (ECRI) found a “number of areas of concern” over “political discourse and hate speech”, as well as “violent racial and religious attacks”.[xxxvii] The ECRI Chair, Christian Ahlund, pointed out that it is no coincidence that racist violence is on the rise in the UK at the same time as there were “worrying examples” of intolerance and hate speech in the “newspapers, online and even among politicians”.[xxxviii] The commission noted “considerable intolerant political discourse in the UK”, particularly focusing on “immigration, discrimination against Roma, Gypsies and Travellers”, and a “spike in online abuse and violent racist incidents”.[xxxix] The ECRI report singled out statements made by Mr Cameron during his tenure as Prime Minister as examples of degrading terms towards refugees that “contribute needlessly to an increase in xenophobic sentiment” and joined human rights groups in condemning his description of asylum seekers risking their lives to reach the UK as a “swarm” in 2015.[xl] The report also criticised Nigel Farage and the UKIP Party for comments claiming there was “public concern” about immigration partly because “people believe” there are some Muslims who want to form a “fifth column and kill us”.[xli]The ECRI also condemned some British media outlets, particularly tabloid newspapers, for “offensive, discriminatory and provocative terminology”.[xlii]

In order to place this reality in proper context, it is important to trace the origins of racial terror and wider racism to its seminal roots in the early eighteenth century, when Britain had emerged as the “biggest and most prosperous” slave trading nation in the world and the “number one slave carrier for European countries”.[xliii] Lorraine White points out that the development of racism in its “modern sense”  traces its origins to the 'role” slavery played in the “rise of capitalism”. She indicates that it was during this period that all kinds of “pseudo-scientific theories” were put forward to justify the brutalities of slavery. These theories purported that Black people were “inferior beings”, that Africans were in the “late stages of the evolution line”, that they were “half man and half ape, primitive, inferior and without intellect”, with the use of science to “legitimize and justify slavery” paving the way for racism to become a “lasting tool of capitalist exploitation”.[xliv]

It is quite clear that racial violence is a phenomenon that has existed in Britain since at least the end of World War One[xlv] and that racial attacks and harassment against the Black community have remained a pervasive and constant feature of British society to the present day.[xlvi]

After World War one, in which people from Asia, Africa and the Caribbean enlisted to fight for Britain, a number of Black people, primarily sailors, settled in the “port towns” of London, Liverpool, Bristol, Cardiff, Glasgow and Hull.[xlvii] Many of these Black settlers were soon confronted with extreme prejudice, discrimination and racist violence.[xlviii] 1919 provided a flash point of racial terrorism which has become known as the “Red Summer”. It has been pointed out that Liverpool may have been the “epicentre of the violence” but it was in Glasgow that the contagion of racist violence and unrest that “plagued” 1919 began,[xlix] from January 23 to 30, when the British Seafarers Union and the National Sailors’ and Fireman’s Union (NSFU) held “anti-immigrant” labour meetings blaming foreigners for “undercutting” white British employment. It has been pointed out that, at one dock, in January 1919, Black and White seamen, waiting to see if they would be hired, started “jostling each other” and soon a fight broke out and spilled into the yard, with White bystanders joining in, using “knives and makeshift weapons” to attack Black labourers.[l]

This signaled the beginning of a long hot “red summer” of racial violence in the British coastal seaports of Liverpool, Cardiff, Newport, Barry, Glasgow, South Shields, London, Hull and Salford. reaching its peak in 1919, with racist White thugs attacking Black workers, their families and their communities.[li] This has been described as one of Britain's “most violent periods of racial upheaval in the 20th Century[lii] and reflected a  “global wave” of political violence throughout  Europe, the United States, the Caribbean and South Africa in the year following the Armistice.[liii] In May 1919, the Strangers Home for Asiatic Seamen, in West India Dock Road in the Isle of Dogs in London, was surrounded by a hostile crowd and Black people were subjected to racial abuse, with it being necessary to “bar the doors” of the home at times.[liv] Around this time, in Cardiff, a Malay boarding house and a shop of one Abdul Satar were “devastated”,[lv] which was followed with three nights of racial terror in June, with murder and mayhem on the streets of the City, in the wake of which three people were killed, hundreds injured and homes looted.[lvi]

Liverpool, one of the areas of concentration of Black population, was said to have experienced  the most “ferocious and sustained” rioting in June 1919. Charles Wooton, an African Caribbean youth, was lynched by the savage White mob.[lvii]  Liverpool’s rioting crowd reached up to 10,000 and,  out of fear from their safety, 700 Black people were temporarily removed from their homes seeking police protection.[lviii] It has been pointed out that Black workers were also fired during the riots, while black, Arab, and Chinese homes and businesses were damaged or set ablaze by the angry white rioters.[lix]

By mid-June, Black people in Salford were attacked and their properties  damaged or destroyed.[lx] Police intervention in the riots was also slow, with them often standing by and allowing the violence to proceed unhindered. However, when Black people “retaliated” in self defence against white rioters, the police intervened and arrested them. At the end of the riots, five people were killed, many were injured, and at least 250 were arrested.[lxi] Hunter points out that further rioting also ensued in 1920 and 1921 and that “sustained racism”, “post-war economic hardship”, and the “reclassification” of Black people and Arabs as “aliens” with the “1920 and 1925 immigration mandates”, further made life difficult for African, African Caribbean, Arabs, and Asian people, particularly in seaport areas after the 1919 riots.[lxii]

It has been indicated that, in the aftermath of the June riots, the British government, which had been “monitoring Black communities”, intensified its “repatriation scheme”, with the move to repatriate colonial citizens in Britain being launched in February 1919.[lxiii] However, after the June riots, the government began removing colonial citizens from Britain out of “fear of a Black backlash.” Between 1919 and 1921, an estimated 3,000 black and Arab seamen and their families were removed from Britain under the “repatriation scheme”. Shipping companies that employed Caribbeans also “aided the state” by firing black labourers and returning them to the West Indies.[lxiv]

In the United States, between late 1918 and later 1919, there were ten “major race riots”, “dozens of minor, racially charged clashes”, and almost 100 “lynchings”, as White Americans tried to “enforce the continued subjugation of Black Americans” in the postwar era.[lxv] Again, as in Britain, there was apparent complicity of law enforcement agencies in the reign of terror being perpetuated against Black people. It has been indicated that in almost every case, law enforcement either “failed to quell” white violence, “sided with white attackers”, “disproportionately disarmed and arrested” Black defenders, or “blamed” Black people for the violence.  Key federal agencies, particularly the “Military Intelligence Division” and the “Bureau of Investigation” (forerunner of the FBI), “reacted” to the Red Summer by Intelligence officers, certain that socialists and communists were “urging” African Americans to take up arms, “mistakenly” believed that a revolution was imminent and that  that Black people across the country were “conspiring to attack whites”. In their eyes, the “Red Summer was a Red Scare”. Ignoring the indisputable evidence that white mobs were initiating the violence, the Military Intelligence Division and the Bureau of Investigation  began working with local authorities and gun dealers across the country to “block the sale of weapons to African Americans”.[lxvi] This paranoia that has consumed American law enforcement is reflected in the development of Cointelpro, a program designed to subvert Black leadership and to destabilize the Black community.[lxvii] It is also reflected in the countless unarmed Black youth shot, brutalized and killed by law enforcement officers, with Black youth viewed  as a “menacing threat to be eliminated”.[lxviii]

Despite the concerted effort to repatriate Black People, migration from the Caribbean and South Asia increased in the wake of the end of World War Two, when Britain had a significant demand for labour due to the toll that the war had on the British population which had been significantly diminished in the conflict. Black people were actively recruited to fill key posts in the transport industry, factories and the NHS. The immigrants from the Caribbean became known as “the Windrush Generation”.[lxix] With this flow of migration from the Caribbean, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, there was a substantial increase of the Black population in Britain, with relatively large concentrations in London, Bradford, Leicester, Birmingham, Manchester and other towns.[lxx] Despite the crucial utility of this Black presence in the rebuilding of Britain, so diminished by the war, Black people continued to be subjected to racial terror, attacks and harassment, including attacks by thugs known as “Teddy Boys”, whose acts of terrorism against the Black communities were inspired by organizations such as Oswald Mosely's Union Movement and other xenophobic right wing groups, including the White Defence League.[lxxi] These right wing political groups sought power on a platform of racial intolerance, with the “Union for British Freedom” establishing a presence in Notting Hill and the founder of the “British Union of Fascists,” Sir Oswald Mosely, rallying the local population with the cry of “Keep Britain White” at meetings in West London.[lxxii] Despite an atmosphere of “menace and fear” pervading the area,[lxxiii] with repeated concerns being raised by Caribbean community leaders about this “flourishing prejudice” and the potential it had to develop into conflict, they were ignored by government officials who took no action.[lxxiv]  Violence broke out on August 20, 1958, in what has been described as “short but vicious” outbreak of “anti Black rioting”,[lxxv] with a explosion of attacks on Black people by rampaging White mobs. It began with property owned by “Caribbean immigrants” being vandalized and the owners subjected to physical harassment. The racial terrorism escalated on August 24, when nine “Teddy Boys” attacked five black men in Shepherd’s Bush, and Notting Hill, leaving three seriously injured. On August 30, a mob of some 400 white youths, some armed with “iron bars and butcher's knives” chased the Caribbean population in the area. It has been indicated that “petrol bombs and milk bottles” were “launched as missiles”. There were “counter-attacks” by black youths, “similarly armed”, in self defense.  The rioting lasted for a week but the “wave of unrest” spread up to the Midlands city of Nottingham, where there was rioting for two weeks.[lxxvi]

The riots sparked an ongoing debate about race discrimination and the levels of immigration to urban areas. In 2002, it was “discovered” that contemporary government commentary on the events dismissed assertions that the attacks were racially motivated, preferring instead to frame the disturbance as “hooliganism from both sides”.[lxxvii] The authorities were similarly reluctant to acknowledge the Nottingham events as being “racially motivated”. The Chief Constable at the time, “Captain Athelstan Popkess”, dismissed claims that the rioting was caused by prejudice and the Nottingham Constabulary published a report as late as 1989 that blamed “generic hooliganism for the violence”.[lxxviii] This reflects, a “chronic reluctance to recognise the racism that pervades every level of British society”,[lxxix] which is a consequence of what has been described as the “socially destructive impact of neoliberalism and government policies”.[lxxx]

Rather than the racial outrages being the isolated acts of a rogue minority, it is crucial to consider that the “thugs” possessed an extraordinarily large vocabulary of racist language inspired by the rhetoric of Enoch Powell, extreme right wing organizations like the National Front and popular television programs like “Till Death Do Us Part” and “Love Thy Neighbour” and the pervasive White racism of Jim Crow in the United States.[lxxxi] Benjamin Bowling, recounting his experience growing up in Britain,  indicates that among his bullies “repertoire” were words like “Sambo” “Coon”, “Boy”, “Wog” and “Nigger”, with such verbal abuse being accompanied by “kicks, jostles and punches”.[lxxxii] He indicates that a “core idea” of the “new right political discourse” is that the British people “constitute a race” or “ethnic group” of which “non White dark skinned people” from “Britain's former colonies and elsewhere”, in this formulation, have no “legitimate claim to belong to the island” or to live on it.[lxxxiii]

This mindset, which views “racialism as patriotism”, advocates the “humane resettlement or repatriation” of “socially, culturally racially incompatible people” to their countries of “ethnic origin”. This was hardly the prejudice of a rogue element but reflected the ethos of the wider White British society. Bowling asserts that the “key race issue” in the 1960s and 1970s was “which political party was most likely to keep immigrants out” and that. as late as 1978, one in five electors regarded immigration as “one of the two most urgent problems” in the country, with the  “adoption of a strong stance” against immigration seen to be the “main reason for the success of the Conservative Party from 1978 onwards”.[lxxxiv] In the wake of the racial violence confronting Black people, their presence was viewed as “the problem”, and this desire for ethnic cleansing was evident in the repatriations after the 1919 racial terrorism  inflicted on the Black community and was reflected in the enactment of restrictive immigration legislation, which placed severe limits of the flow of Black migration to the country. It has been argued that these enactments all sent a “misleading message” that Britain could not support any increase in the number of migrants, and that the “indigenous population” had to be protected from an “imagined migrant threat”.[lxxxv]

There is a growing body of research which demonstrates that successive governments have attempted to “regulate and eventually halt” the arrival of Black migrants through legislation and “other means”.[lxxxvi] As we are advised by John Solomos, “supposed problems” created by the arrival of “too many Black migrants” have been used to “legitimize” legislative measures which have had the effect of “institutionalizing controls” on Black migrants, thereby excluding potential migrants on the basis of the colour of their skin.[lxxxvii] In the post-World War Two period, there was a relatively liberal attitude to to the arrival of White European workers, which “contrasted sharply” with the arrival of Black colonial workers, who were “British subjects”, with both the Labour Government of 1945-1951 and the Conservative Governments throughout the 1950s considering various ways to “stop or reduce” the number of Black migrants arriving and settling in Britain.[lxxxviii] In this regard, the period 1948-1962 involved the State in “complex political and ideological racialization” of immigration policy.[lxxxix] As pointed out by Solomos:

“Although much publicity was given to the arrival of 437 Jamaicans on the Empire Windrush in May 1948, and subsequent arrival of large groups of West Indian workers, the focus on coloured immigration helped to obscure the fact that the majority of immigrants continued to come from the Irish Republic, from white Commonwealth countries and other European countries”.[xc]

Race Relations became intricately linked with concerns about the migration of Black people to Britain. In this regard, it has been pointed out that the State “accepted responsibility” for “promoting the integration” of those already in the country, but only while moving towards a “stricter regime” to keep others out.[xci] This ethos is reflected in Roy Hattersley's  “infamous” declaration that  “integration without control is impossible, but control without integration is indefensible”.[xcii] Immigration control was seen to be “essential to integration measures” and it was a move to “manage domestic race relations” while “legitimising the institutionalisation of racist restrictions” on entry and “vigorous efforts” to deport those who broke “conditions attached to their entry”.[xciii] This ethos underscores the ever evolving landscape of British immigration laws and the current “Windrush crisis”, in the scandal of the disenfranchisement and disempowerment of Black people by successive governments, in tandem with the discriminatory implementation and abuse of Immigration law, to deport and otherwise disadvantage many of the Windrush generation and their descendants.[xciv]

In this context, the British Government instituted race relations legislation alongside immigration enactments, to “rectify the patent discrimination against Black migrants from the Caribbean, with the The Race Relations Act 1965 being passed shortly after the Commonwealth Immigrants Act 1962, the Race Relations Act 1968, passed alongside the  Commonwealth Immigrants Act 1968, the Race Relations Act 1976 in tandem with the Immigration Act 1976 and the Immigration (Variation of Leave) Order 1976, the Race Relations (Amendment) Act 2000 with the Immigration Act 2006 and the Equality Act 2010 enacted shortly after the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008. Despite this focus on race relations, race attacks, violence and harassment have persisted against Black people unabated to the present day.[xcv]

Analysis by the Institute of Race relations indicates that in 2013/14, there were 47,571 “racist incidents”, an average of 130 per day, recorded by the police in England and Wales.[xcvi] The statistics also show that, in the same period, there were 44,480 “hate crimes” recorded by police. Of these, 37,484 were recorded as “race hate crime” and 2,273 as religious hate crimes. Further, Home Office statistics, demonstrate that, from 2012-2015, there has been, on average, 106,000 racially motivated ‘hate crimes’ per year.[xcvii] Of concern, is the indication in the 2012/13 and 2014/15 Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) that victims of hate crime are “less likely to think the police had treated them fairly or with respect”, compared with victims of CSEW crime overall. Of hate crime incidents (not exclusively those motivated by ‘race) reported to the police, 59 per cent of victims “believed the police treated them fairly”, compared with 81 per cent of CSEW crime overall.[xcviii]

The Institute of Race Relations  research indicates that in the twenty years after April 1993 that there were at least 105 racially motivated murders in the UK. Of these, the vast majority (85) were in England, with five in Wales, 12 in Scotland and 3 in Northern Ireland. Within England, 28 murders took place in London. 20 people were killed whilst at work as taxi-drivers, as shopkeepers and at pubs or clubs. Whereas the majority of the murders that recorded by the Institute of Race Relations involved attacks in the street, 8 came from attacks on people in their homes. Of these, several were arson attacks.

According to the Home Office, the number of hate crimes reported to police in England and Wales has more than doubled since 2013, with the majority of recorded hate crime offences being racial in nature, with 78,991 and an increase of 11 % in 2018. 47 % of religious hate crime offences (3,530) targeted Muslim people, with religious hate crimes against Jewish people doubling to 18 % (1,326).[xcix]

However, in independent research by faith and community groups, it has been indicated that the Home Office figures “potentially showed only the tip of the iceberg”, after 7 in 10 participants said “they never reported hate crimes” to the police.[c] The independent research indicates that, in 2018, there were 103,379 hate crime offences recorded by the police, the majority of which (76%) were race related. More than half (54%) of the hate crimes recorded by the police were for public order offences, a third (36%) involved violence, while 5% were recorded as criminal damage and arson.[ci]

Twelve per cent of hate crime offences were estimated to have more than one motivation, with the majority of these being both race and religion. In response to this alarming data, the executive director of Citizens UK, Matthew Bolton, stated that:

“Political, media and institutional decision-makers need an action plan to stop the toxic mix of scare stories on social media and a divisive political environment, which is providing a breeding ground for hate”.[cii]

Dr Farhan Samanani, an academic who oversaw the study, indicates that an example was the use of the word “letterboxes” by hate crime perpetrators after Boris Johnson had used it in a Daily Telegraph column to describe women wearing the burqa.[ciii] In his article, Johnson called the burqa “oppressive” and said that women who wore it looked like “letterboxes and bank robbers”. In this regard, despite the fact that this patently racist comment by the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has inspired and accentuated a spate of Islamophobia and hate crimes in the wider community and his being challenged in Parliament over the comments, prior to the recent general election, he has refused to apologize for his racially tinged injudicious language, declaring that “So much of this stuff is disinterred with a view to distracting from the basic issues of this election”.[civ] Boris Johnson has made similar racist and sexist comments, including calling Black people “piccaninnes” with “watermelon smiles” and women being “naturally fickle” and portraying some as “feeble”, “blubbing blonds” and “collapsing with emotion”.[cv] Incredulously, Boris Johnson brushed aside his comments as “wholly satirical” and “taken out of context”.[cvi] These racist comments follow a pattern of racist language, as in 2004, when he published a novel entitled “Seventy Two Virgins”[cvii] in which he utilized a number of racist stereotypes including references to “hooked nosed Kosovar Muslims”, “Jews who control the media”, “half caste characters”, a “Chinaman”, “hunter gatherer African immigrants” and a number of other “racist tropes”.[cviii]

This pattern of racist antecedents is again reflected when one of his advisers, Andrew Sabisky, was forced to resign after it was revealed that he had made past comments to the effect that Black people have a “lower IQ than whites”, and that “enforced contraception could prevent creating a permanent underclass”.[cix] Aggravating the situation, the British Prime Minister refused to indicate that he was against “eugenics”.[cx]

As the “Grime star” Stormzy has pointed out the UK is “definitely racist” and Boris Johnson has made it “worse”. He asserted that the Prime Minister was a “figurehead” whose comments “encourage racism”. He declared that:

“If the top person can openly say this racist thing – the 'piccaninnes' remarks, 'watermelon smiles' comparing Muslim women to a letterbox – if that is our figurehead, the top man, the leader we have to follow, and he openly says these things, he encourages hate among others....Since Mr Johnson entered Downing Street, racism in Britain was worse as people who hold racist views felt emboldened to express them...Before people had to hide their racism. If you felt something bad about Black people, about Muslims you had to shut up. Now these people have the confidence to come out in public to say everything. This is scary to me, that scares the s*** out of me”.[cxi]

In response to the comments, then Chancellor, Sajid Javid, in a “pithy reply” stated on Twitter that “the rapper is 100% wrong”.[cxii] In similar damning comments, “award winning rapper” Dave has accused Boris Johnson of being a “racist” during a “politically charged performance onstage” at the 2020 Brit Awards. Performing a “reworked song” 'Black' from the album 'Psychodrama', which explores the experience of Black Britons “while celebrating Black excellence”, he chanted that “it is racist whether or not it feels racist, the truth is our Prime Minister is a real racist”.[cxiii] He proceeded to “highlight the disparity” in the media's treatment of the Duchess of Sussex and the Duchess of Cambridge, he declared that:

“Now if you don't wanna get it, then you're never going to get it. How the news treats Kate versus how they treat Meghan.....Equality is a right, it doesn't deserve credit”.[cxiv]

He  called for “way less hatred, more conservation” and criticizing the Government's handling of the “Grenfell Tower Tragedy” and the “Windrush Scandal”, he declared:

“We want rehabilitation, now that would be amazing, but Grenfell victims still need accommodation and we still need need support for the Windrush generation“.[cxv]

In response to these damning comments, Home Secretary, Priti Patel, denied that Boris Johnson was a racist. In response to a question about Dave's comments on Sky News, she asserted that:

“That's utter nonsense, it really is. I don't know what those comments are based on ... He is not a racist at all. I just think those comments are highly inappropriate”.[cxvi]

However, Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, stated that:

"I thought it was extraordinary how that resonated with so many people online and on social media. And coming days after the Government was embarrassed by recruiting a policy adviser who thought that Black people were less intelligent than white people, I think the Government has to be really careful how it's perceived by Black and minority ethnic people....I think that the Prime Minister needs to be much more careful about how he is seen by Black and minority ethnic voters. It's partly his record, the kind of things that he wrote in the past, but also the kind of things he's going forward to do....Being Prime Minister is about leadership and he needs to offer leadership on issues of social cohesion".[cxvii]

Similarly, the MP for Brent Central, Dawn Butler, made reference to the “enormous responsibility of this Tory Government to stand up against racism and sort out their own party”.[cxviii] She asserted that:

“Sadly, the Tories are governing the country, which means they must set the highest of examples – yet Johnson and those defending him have failed this test with their own behaviour. The media also bear some responsibility too – and they, like Johnson and his party, are failing”.[cxix]

As we are advised by Teun A. van Dijk, “racism remains one of the most pernicious problems of white society”.[cxx] Though often “less blatantly and overtly” than in the past, it continues to “permeate” racial and ethnic relations in Europe, North America and other westernized countries.[cxxi] Resistance and protests against this “social, economic and cultural oppression” of minorities have brought about “limited civil rights gains” during the past two decades, but the “fundamental relations of inequality” have hardly changed.[cxxii]  As van Dijk contends:

“Indeed, one of the main strategies of the ideological framework keeping white dominance in place is precisely to deny or to play down the prevalence of racism and to blame its victims for the persistent inequalities that are its outcome. Many white people may no longer believe in white racial supremacy. They may in principle even endorse values of social justice. However, massive legal and scholarly evidence, as well as the available accounts of the personal experiences of minorities, also show that white people and institutions still engage in the many daily practices that implement the system of white dominance, and seldom challenge its underlying beliefs and ideologies...This continued existence of the ideological and structural dimensions of racism presupposes complex processes of reproduction...Discourse, language use and communication play a prominent part in this reproduction of the ethnic consensus of white groups. This is particularly true for all forms of elite discourse, including that of the mass media in general, and that of the daily press in particular....Ethnic and racial minority groups always have been, and continue to be, portrayed negatively or stereotypically by the press, for example, as a problem, if not as a threat. Similarly, ethnic minority group leaders and institutions are still considered less credible sources, while minority journalists are seriously discriminated against in hiring, promotion and story assignments. Again, in these respects the press is hardly different from most other institutions and organizations in white society”.[cxxiii]

More crucially, it is important to consider that the official reaction in criminalizing the Black victims as hooligans reflects the stereotyping of young Black men as criminals, which has been a defining feature of the British criminal justice system. In this regard, it has been asserted that the “underlying logic of control” may explain why police powers were exempt from the Race Relations Act between 1965 and 2000. The British police were the “de facto guarantors” of the security of the general population in the face of what were perceived to be the dangers of post-war immigration. To make the police liable, in law, “to be held to account” for allegations of racism and racial discrimination might have undermined them in this role.[cxxiv] The “exemption” of policing illustrates the “basic contradiction” in the government’s race relations policy. On one hand, it “accepted” that racial prejudice and discrimination were “social ills” that had to be legislated against and that the “exclusion” of a large section of society from access to basic public services “purely on the grounds of colour” was unacceptable, while, on the other hand, the government continued to use “racist criteria” to police the entry of Commonwealth citizens into the country and relied upon the police to carry out immigration control on the “basis of these criteria”.[cxxv]

The “effect of this contradiction” has been instrumental in shaping the “domestic policing of minority ethnic communities”. Paul Gordon indicates that, ‘since it is

impossible to tell a “legal” immigrant from an “illegal” one, the “answer” is to suspect all who “appear” to be immigrants. In this context, the police, “under the imperatives of the state”, used their powers “disproportionately” to stop, search, question, and detain black people. In this frame of reference, Black people in Britain were not to be “protected” but ominously British society was to be “protected from black people”.[cxxvi] In this regard, it has been pointed out that:

“Using powers in the Immigration Act 1971 (which drew a distinction between those immigrants with a right to work but no right of settlement) to detain and question those suspected of breaching immigration law, the police carried out extensive ‘passport raid’ operations on workplaces, places of entertainment and homes in search of ‘illegal immigrants’ in the 1970s and 1980s. The level of harassment borne by the black community led the general secretaries of the Transport and General Workers’ Union and the General and Municipal Workers’ Union to compare life for black people in 1980s Britain with apartheid in South Africa. ‘Sus’, in its targeting of black youths, was an important part of the process by which the police criminalised black people through disproportionate use of these powers. In comparison with white people, black people are six times more likely to be stopped and searched while Asian people are twice as likely to be. PACE gives the police the power to stop and search, but does not penalise actions taken without these powers (i.e. a stop without reasonable suspicion). While a person who refuses to submit to a stop and search commits a criminal offence (obstruction of a police officer in the course of his duty), the legislation does not penalise police officers who act outwith the law. The police exemption from the provisions of ‘race relations’ legislation meant that racially discriminatory acts could not be challenged on grounds of discrimination, and the use of stop and search to criminalise minority ethnic communities continued well after the passage of the first two Race Relations Acts. Figures presented to Parliament in 1980 indicated a rise in documented incidents of racist violence

against black victims from 2690 in 1975 to 3827 in 1979........real numbers are likely to be higher as research by the London Region of the West Indian Standing Conference and the Runnymede Trust noted the police tendency to play down attacks as mere delinquency, and to dismiss or deny the racist motives. The general picture of the police response to racist violence is a failure to provide adequate protection”.[cxxvii]

In 1978, a report by the Bethnal Green and Stepney Trades Council stated that Bengali victims of attacks “frequently expressed no confidence” in the police, considering them to be “indifferent or actively prejudiced”.[cxxviii] A Home Office study of race attacks in 1981 revealed that Black people were “between 50 and 60 times more likely” than white people to be victims of racial attacks.[cxxix] Despite the alarming statistics in these reports, they had little, if any, “demonstrable effect”.[cxxx] In a  a survey by the Runnymede Trust  a year after the Home Office study, to “assess its impact”, it was concluded that police forces had not yet shown that they “fully understood the significance and seriousness of racial violence”.[cxxxi]

Critically, It has been argued that it would be hard to “overstate” the effect of police “action or inaction” on relations between the police and Black people and that in the eyes of many Black people, the police have “singularly failed” to afford them the basic protection a police force is supposed to offer the public, while at the same time it has enforced the law in a biased manner against them.[cxxxii] In this respect, “victims of racial attacks”, as “consumers” of police services, continued to be less satisfied with the police response,[cxxxiii] with the “most common complaints” amongst those dissatisfied with police response being that the police “did not do enough”, “failed to keep the victim informed”, and “seemed uninterested”.[cxxxiv] Further, there were “indications” that many police officers were “unsympathetic” to the victims of racist violence, “tended to blame them” for their own “misfortune”, and “minimised” the role of racism in the

violent attacks that targeted minority communities.[cxxxv]

Bowling, Iyer and Solanke  point out that failure to bring police powers into the “ambit” of anti discrimination legislation, between 1965 and 2000,  allowed police the “impunity to discriminate”, with no law which required them to use their powers “fairly”, either in their response to racist violence or in the use of the power to stop and search.[cxxxvi] Faced with this dire reality, “Minority ethnic communities” were forced to defend themselves against racist violence and were “subjected to discriminatory treatment” at the hands of authorities. Police failures to respond to victims from a “minority ethnic background” or to protect them from racist violence is a “clear case of a failure in service provision”, one that could not be “remedied by law” since they were “excluded” from the scope of race relations legislation.[cxxxvii]

The critical breaking point was the Lawrence Inquiry, chaired by Sir William Macpherson, into the racist killing of a Black teenager, Stephen Lawrence, by a racist mob in the Isle of Dogs in London.  The report by Macpherson concluded that the investigation into the murder was “marred” by “professional incompetence”, “institutional racism” and a “failure of leadership”.[cxxxviii] Institutional racism was reflected in the  “collective failure” of an organization to provide an “appropriate and professional service” to people because of their “colour, culture, or ethnic origin”, which was seen in “discriminatory attitudes and behavior”, and in processes amounting to “discrimination” through “prejudice, ignorance, thoughtlessness and racist stereotyping”, which had the effect of

“disadvantaging minority ethnic people”.[cxxxix] The inquiry recommended that the “full force” of Race Relations legislation should apply to all police officers, and that Chief Officers of Police should be made “vicariously liable” for the acts and omissions of their officers “relevant to that legislation”.[cxl]

The Government accepted this recommendation, bringing the police within the “scope of anti discrimination law” with the Race Relations (Amendment) Act 2000, which placed a “general duty” on “specified public authorities” to promote

race equality, and, “importantly”, made Chief Officers of Police “vicariously liable” for acts of discrimination carried out by officers under their direction and

control, providing for compensation, costs or expenses awarded as a result of a claim to be paid out from police funds. It placed a “positive duty” on Chief Officers of Police to ensure that officers under their direction and control did not racially discriminate.[cxli] However, it has been pointed out that the development of anti-discrimination legislation and policies “aimed at promoting greater equality

of opportunity” for all British citizens has been a “contradictory process”. At the outset, race relations’ legislation was part of a “dual strategy” that combined “racist immigration laws” with “measures to reduce discrimination”.[cxlii]

In consequence, the police found themselves in the “paradoxical position” of being required to enforce racist laws yet somehow expected to be “guardians of fairness and equality”.[cxliii] In this regard, Bowling, Iyer and Solanke contend that, that the police were “exempt” from anti-discrimination legislation for the first

35 years of the Race Relations Act. Much damage was done in the two generations between 1965 and 2000, and the legacy of impunity can be seen

in “persistent disproportionality” in the use of police powers, “criminalised minority ethnic communities” and a “”troubling lack of confidence and trust” in the police.[cxliv] They point out that  the Lawrence Inquiry may have “set the context” for policy change, and The Race Relations (Amendment) Act (2000) can be seen as “an important step forward” but there is as yet little evidence that this law has “contributed to change much”. Rather, it is “cultural and political change” that has “slowly begun to alter the way” the police service functions in our society.[cxlv] They question whether the law is “too little too late”, to reverse the “iniquitous effects” of half a century of discriminatory policing?  If the “full force” of anti-discrimination legislation is “insufficient” to bring about “fundamental change in police practice”, how can the government, police leaders, lawyers

and activists ensure that the “police act with fairness, justice and equality”?[cxlvi]

In essence the Police force has in many ways represented one of the faces of racial terrorism for the Black community. This is reflected in the alarming rate of deaths of Black people in custody, with a disproportionate number dying in

police custody and by police shootings, with as many as 183 since 1990.[cxlvii] In the period 2002–2012, the statistics are even “more striking”[cxlviii]: of 380 deaths in police custody in England and Wales (or as a result of contact with the police), 69 were from BME communities – 18 %.

The Institute of Race Relations in an analysis from its database of cases indicated that of the 509 cases of BME deaths in custody in “suspicious circumstances”,  between 1991 and 2014, the majority, 348, took place in prison, 137 in police custody and 24 in immigration detention.[cxlix] One in three of the total deaths was as a result of “self-harm”, and in 64 cases the person was known to have “mental health problems”. “Medical neglect” was a contributory factor in 49 cases, and in 48 the “use of force” appears to have contributed to a person’s death.[cl] According to the Institute of Race Relations, of the 137 deaths in police custody, 126 were male, 11 were female, 78 were Black or Black British, and 31 were Asian or Asian British. Sixty-one % of all such deaths occurred in the London area: 51 people died while in a police station or cell; 49 died on the street; and 17 died in their homes. In terms of contributory factors to deaths in police custody, only 61 people had actually been arrested before their

death; 9 had been detained under the Mental Health Act; 34 died following a police chase; and 6 died after a stop and search. The use of force contributed

to the deaths of 39 people, and 29 deaths were linked to the use of physical restraint; 7 deaths were linked to the use of CS gas; and in 10 cases people

died after falling from balconies after police had called at their homes. One of the most disturbing findings is how “lessons are not being learned”. The same mistakes regarding “dangerous restraint techniques” or the “detention of the mentally ill” are repeated over and over again, despite repeated recommendations from coroners at inquests or from official bodies such

as the Prisons and Probation Ombudsman or the Independent Police Complaints Commission.[cli]

Harmit Athwal and Jenny Bourne point out that it is true that no police officer has been successfully prosecuted  over a BAME death in custody, but the last six months have seen two (unsuccessful) prosecutions. The first prosecution, mentioned above, was over the death of Azelle Rodney. Then, at the end of 2014, three G4S guards were prosecuted for and subsequently cleared of the manslaughter of Jimmy Mubenga, who died on board a plane at Heathrow in October 2010.[clii] But the families of Rodney and Mubenga had to fight “tooth and nail” to see that charges were brought – they lodged a number of legal challenges, participated in hearings at the European Court of Human Rights, and challenged the Crown Prosecution Service over its failure to prosecute at lengthy inquest proceedings where “unlawful killing verdicts” were returned.[cliii]

In this socio-legal, political, sociological and historical frame of reference, the violence, attacks and harassment engendered by the Coronavirus pandemic, is seen not to be isolated anomalies, but rather as part of an ongoing pattern of racial terrorism by White racist thugs and the organs and institutions of the State,  that has characterized the lives of non-White peoples in British society and indeed, in the societies of the White western world, for over five hundred years and underscores the inherent persistence of endemic institutional and structural racism, floating in a sea of historical amnesia and cognitive dissonance. In an American context, but equally relevant to our present discourse, it has been pointed out that viruses don’t tend to discriminate against “people of certain racial backgrounds” but that people “obviously” can.[cliv] He indicates that racism is “kind of like bad body odor” and that people can hide both for a while with some “political correctness” or some “deodorant”. However, these things only “cover up racism or body odor” and never really gets rid of either.[clv] Lee contends that, when “anti-Asian attitudes” remain, it can only take a little event, such as a “politician’s rhetoric”, a “stressful situation”, or even just a TV show to bring “bullying and harassment” back out into the open and that you see “people’s true natures under times of duress”.[clvi]

In a similar vein, it has been asserted that there are the “more obvious” racist incidents that take place but that there are “hidden types such as micro-aggressions”, “implicit bias and prejudice”. Which all act as “proxies for race and class”.[clvii] In this regard, Hussain argues that structural racism is the “exertion of power and privilege based on race and class” and that, when power and privilege “dominate the boardrooms and influential positions”, it has a “huge impact” on working culture and on working people’s lives.[clviii]

In an Italian frame of reference, but highly pertinent to our discussion, it has been asserted that Coronavirus has become a “political instrument” reproducing the idea of racism as “prejudice” and another opportunity to use racism as a “political instrument”.[clix] In this respect, it is essential to consider that something was “triggered” by the pandemic that is always “latently” there, “under the surface”, which is this “fear of the other” and the idea that “bad things come from elsewhere”.[clx] It also echoes “old prejudices”, such as when in the 10th century, Europeans feared a so-called “yellow peril”, brought about by “primitive” people with “emerging global power”.[clxi]

As Nancy Spiegel and Tam Huynh point out, the COVID-19 pandemic has placed “our families, communities and the world in a state of uncertainty” and that, during “times like these”, we must be “especially vigilant” in combating the “age-old viruses of hate and prejudice”, which “reassert” themselves throughout history in “times of fear”.[clxii] We see them on “display” as the COVID-19 pandemic is “racialized and weaponized”, with a a “glance” at the news or social media, and you will see how “hate and prejudice creeps” into our daily lives, oftentimes without us even noticing. The language we use and the actions we take during this crisis will have “lasting impacts”. History teaches us that pandemics bring out the “worst in some people”.[clxiii] As we have seen in our review, it also engages deep seated endemic structural and institutional racist tropes which underscore modern British and White western societies and exposes the essence of the racist foundations underscoring the neo-liberal myth of multiracial and multicultural societies and the illusion of equality of opportunity. As we are poignantly reminded by Aniruddah Pathak:

“Thinking was I of this newest scare That has stolen away people's dare— The deadly virus COVID nineteen For which we may soon find a vaccine. But doubt I've of racism virus, That has been one of most vicious, Nor is there a vaccine known to fight, Nor may one sooner come to fair light. Nor ever an antibiotic To defeat the devil's lethal kick— A virus that's proved as dangerous As has been one of most infectious— A virus that took its roots so firm, Thanks our endemic indifference To take a solid action at once, This virus alas of racism!”.[clxiv]

[i]     Pankaj Mishra (2017): “How Colonial Violence Came Home: The Ugly Truth of the First World War” In the Guardian, Friday November 10. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/nov/10/how-colonial-violence-came-home-the-ugly-truth-of-the-first-world-war >

[ii]    Claudia Rankine quoted in Kate Kellaway (2015): “Claudia Rankine: Blackness in the White Imagination Has Nothing to do With Black People” In the Guardian, Sunday, 27 December. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/dec/27/claudia-rankine-poet-citizen-american-lyric-feature >

[iii]   James Baldwin (1962): “Letter From a Region in My Mind” In the New Yorker, November 10. Available online <https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1962/11/17/letter-from-a-region-in-my-mind >

[iv]   In this paper the term “Black” is used in a political sense to include all non-White peoples. Aamna Mohdin (2018): “Political Blackness: A Very British Concept With a Complex History” In the Quartz Website, March 3. Available online <https://qz.com/1219398/political-blackness-a-very-british-concept-with-a-complex-history/> ; Mohan Ambikaipaker (2018): Political Blackness in Multiracial Britain. University of Pennsylvania Press, Philadelphia

[v]    Lucy Campbell (2020): “Chinese in the UK Report 'Shocking' Levels of Racism After Coronavirus Outbreak: Asian Community Faces Verbal and Physical Abuse in Aftermath of First Recorded Cases of Virus in Britain” In the Guardian, February 9. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/09/chinese-in-uk-report-shockingC-levels-of-racism-after-coronavirus-outbreak>; Michael Moran and Sanjeeta Bains (2020): “Woman Knocked out Cold in Racist 'Coronavirus Rage' Attack Outside Bar” In the Star, 25 February. Available online <https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/woman-knocked-out-racist-coronavirus-21559038>;  Inae Oh (2020): “The Coronavirus is Inflaming the UK's Violence” In Mother Jones, March 4. Available online <https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2020/03/the-coronavirus-is-inflaming-the-uks-racism/>; CNN (2020): “Student of Chinese Ethnicity Assaulted in 'Racist' Coronavirus Attack” In the CNN Website,March 4. Available online <https://citizentv.co.ke/news/student-assaulted-in-racist-coronavirus-attack-325091/>; David Layde (2020): “UK Student in Racist Attack Over Coronavirus” In the Radio Nova Website, March 21.  Available online <https://www.nova.ie/uk-student-in-racist-attack-over-coronavirus-175903/ >; Stephanie Cockcroft (2020): “Teenage Girls Arrested After 'Coronavirus Racial Attack' in Southampton” In the Evenong Standard, March 22. Available online <https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/teenagers-arrested-coronaviruslinked-racial-attack-southampton-a4394111.html>; Bethany Reilly (2020): “Teens Arrested Over 'Racist Attack' on Chinese People” In the Morning Star, March 23. Available online <https://morningstaronline.co.uk/article/b/teens-arrested-over-racist-attack-on-chinese-people>; Emma Downey (2020): “Staff at Runcorn Takeway Injured by 'Racist' Coronavirus Attack” In the Runcorn and Widnes World, March 18. Available online <https://www.runcornandwidnesworld.co.uk/news/18312218.staff-runcorn-takeover-injured-racist-coronavirus-attack/>; Emily Jane Heap (2020): “We preach anti-racism but it won’t make a difference to some people: students assaulted in racist coronavirus attacks”  In a Blog Post in the Exeter Tab. Available online <https://thetab.com/uk/exeter/2020/03/08/we-preach-anti-racism-but-it-wont-make-a-difference-to-some-people-exeter-students-assaulted-in-racist-coronavirus-attacks-47080>

[vi]   Tom Swarbrick (2020): “Coronavirus Panic is Making the UK More Racist, Argues British-Chinese Journalist” In the LBC Website, February 2. Available online <https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/tom-swarbrick/coronavirus-panic-uk-more-racist-british-chinese/>

[vii]  Lucy Campbell (2020) supra.

[viii]  Sally Weale (2020): “Chinese Students Flee UK After 'Maskphobia' Triggered Racist Attacks” In the Guardian, March 17. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/education/2020/mar/17/chinese-students-flee-uk-after-maskaphobia-triggered-racist-attacks>

[ix]   Ibid.

[x]    Quentin Fottrell (2020): “ No Chinese Allowed: Racism and Fear Are Now Spreading Along Withe the Coronavirus” In the Market Watch Website, February 3. Available online <https://www.marketwatch.com/story/no-chinese-allowed-racism-and-fear-are-now-spreading-along-with-the-coronavirus-2020-01-29>; Laurie Chen (2020): “Coronavirus: Outbreak Has Stoked a rise in Xenophobia, Chinese Living Abroad Say” In the South China Morning Post, February 7. Available online <https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/3049423/coronavirus-outbreak-has-stoked-rise-xenophobia-chinese-living>; The Economist (2020): “The Coronavirus Spreads Racism Against and Amongst Ethnic Chinese” In the Economist, February 17. Available online <https://www.economist.com/china/2020/02/17/the-coronavirus-spreads-racism-against-and-among-ethnic-chinese>; Charissa Yong (2020): “Growing Wave of Racism and Hate Crimes as Coronavirus Spreads” In the Strait Times, April 27. Available online <https://www.straitstimes.com/world/united-states/growing-wave-of-racism-and-hate-crimes-as-virus-spreads >

[xi]   Sabrina Tavernese and Richard A. Oppel Jr. (2020): “Spit on, Yelled On, Attacked: Chinese Americans Fear For Their Safety” In the New York Times, March 23. Available online <https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/23/us/chinese-coronavirus-racist-attacks.html >; Lauren Aratani (2020): “'Coughing While Asian': Living in Fear as Racism Feeds Off Coronavirus Panic” In the Guardian, March 24. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/24/coronavirus-us-asian-americans-racism >; Caitlin Yoshiko Kandil (2020): “Asian Americans Report Over  650 Racist Acts Over the Last Week, New Data Says” In the NBC News Website, March 26. Available online <https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/asian-americans-report-nearly-500-racist-acts-over-last-week-n1169821 >;  Emily Liu (2020): “COVID-19 Has Inflamed Racism Against Asian Americans: Here's How to Fight Back” In the CNN Website, April 11. Available online <https://edition.cnn.com/2020/04/10/opinions/how-to-fight-bias-against-asian-americans-COVID-19-liu/index.html >; Li Zhao (2020): “How the Coronavirus is Surfacing America's Deep Seated Anti-Asian Biases” In Vox, April 21. Available online <https://www.vox.com/identities/2020/4/21/21221007/anti-asian-racism-coronavirus >

[xii]  Lin Evlin (2020): “Victims of Coronavirus Fuelled Racism in Australia are Speaking Out About its Impact” in the SBS News Website, March 17. Available online <https://www.sbs.com.au/news/victims-of-coronavirus-fuelled-racism-in-australia-are-speaking-out-about-its-impact>; Diane J. Cho (2020): “Racist Attacks Against Asians Continue to Rise as the Coronavirus Threat Grows” In the People Website, March 17. Available online <https://people.com/health/coronavirus-racist-attacks-against-asians/>; ABC News (2020): “South Australian Councillor Spat at in Racist Coronavirus Attack” In the ABC News Website, April 8. Available online <https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-04-08/salisbury-councillor-targeted-in-racist-coronavirus-attack/12133078>; Brett Mason (2020): “Scott Morrison Says Asian Australians Led Coronavirus Response, Condemns Racist Attacks Against Community” In the SBS News Website, April 14. Available online <https://www.sbs.com.au/news/scott-morrison-says-asian-australians-led-coronavirus-response-condemns-racist-attacks-against-community>; Naaman Zhou (2020): “Survey of COVID-19 Racism Against Asian Australians Records 178 Incidents in 2 Weeks” In the Guardian, April 17. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/17/survey-of-covid-19-racism-against-asian-australians-records-178-incidents-in-two-weeks>

[xiii]  Markus Zeiner (2020): “German and Other European Media Fan Coronavirus Fears and Sinophobia” In the Straits Times, February 5. Available online <https://www.straitstimes.com/world/europe/german-and-other-european-media-fan-coronavirus-fears-and-sinophobia>; Megha Rajagopalan (2020): “Man Yelling 'Chinese' Tried to Punch Her Off Her Bike: She's the Latest Victim of Racist Attacks Linked to Coronavirus. In the Buzz Feed News Website, March 4. Available online <https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/coronavirus-racism-europe-covid-19>

[xiv] Stefano Pitreili and Rick Noack (2020): “A Top European Musical School Suspended Students From East Asia Over Coronavirus Concerns Amid Rising Discrimination” In the Washington Post, February 3. Available online <https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/01/31/top-european-music-school-suspended-students-east-asia-over-coronavirus-concerns-amid-rising-discrimination/>; Yeubai Liu (2020): “Coronavirus Prompts 'Hysterical, Shameful' Sinophobia in Italy. In the Aljazeera Website, February 18. Available online <https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/02/coronavirus-prompts-hysterical-shameful-sinophobia-italy-200218071444233.html>; Keegan Elmer (2020): “Has Coronavirus Prompted Rise in Racist Incidents Across Europe?” In the South China Morning Post, February 29. Available online <https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/3052961/has-coronavirus-prompted-rise-racist-incidents-across-europe

[xv]  The Brussels Times (2020): “Belgians With Asian Roots Report Increased Racism Amid Coronavirus Fears” In the Brussels Times, February 13. Available online <https://www.brusselstimes.com/belgium/94859/belgo-asians-report-increased-racism-amid-coronavirus-fears-covid-19-xenophobic/>; (2020): “They Spat on Me: Chinese-Belgian Targeted by Coronavirus Harassment in Brussels”  In the Brussels Times, March 4. Available online <https://www.brusselstimes.com/brussels/98367/they-spat-on-me-chinese-belgian-targeted-by-coronavirus-harassment-in-brussels/>; Meghan Wray (2020): “Corona time: Belgian School Under Fire For Racist Class Photo” In the Global News website, March 12. Available online <https://globalnews.ca/news/6666678/students-racist-coronavirus-photo/>

[xvi]  Leyland Cecco (2020): “Canada's Chinese Community Faces Racist Abuse in Wake of Coronavirus” In the Guardian, January 28. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jan/28/canada-chinese-community-battles-racist-backlash-amid-coronavirus-outbreak>; J. N. Chien (2020): “Discrimination Isn't Helping to Contain the Coronavirus” In the Nation, February 7. Available online <https://www.thenation.com/article/world/coronavirus-xenophobia-hong-kong/>; CBC (2020): “Montreal Police Suspect Hate Crimes After Vandals Hit Buddhist Temples, Chinatown”  In the CBC News Website, March 4. Available online <https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/vandalism-temples-1.5485151>; (2020): “Vancouver Police Investigate Alleged Racially Motivated Attack Against Elderly Asian Man With Dementia” In the CBC News Website, April 23. Available online <https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/vancouver-police-investigate-racially-motivated-attack-against-elderly-asian-man-with-dementia-1.5541378>; Daniel J. Rowe (2020): “COVID-19: Korean Consulate Issues Warning After Violent Attack in Montreal” In the CTV  News Website, March 17. Available online <https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/covid-19-korean-consulate-issues-warning-after-violent-attack-in-montreal-1.4856453>;  Ian Young (2020): “Coronavirus: Asian Women in Canada Are Abused, Punched and Spat On: Is it Maskaphobia?” In the South China Morning Post, May 13. Available online <https://www.scmp.com/news/world/united-states-canada/article/3084090/coronavirus-asian-women-canada-are-abused-punched>

[xvii]          Mohammad Ibrar (2020): “Students From Northeast Complain of Racism  at Kirori Mal College” In the Times of India, February 11. Available online < https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/students-from-northeast-complain-of-racism-at-kmc/articleshow/74071475.cms>; Abha Goradia (2020): Coronavirus Outbreak: NE Students at TISS Reports Incidents of Racism, Harassment” In The Indian Express, February 18. Available online <https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/mumbai/coronavirus-outbreak-northeastern-students-at-tiss-report-incidents-of-racism-harassment-6272973/>;  Akshita Jain (2020): “Coronavirus is Now a Racial Slur in India: What Can Govt. Do to Prevent This” In the Huffpost WebBlog. Available online <https://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/coronavirus-racism-northeast_in_5e844d9cc5b6a1bb76502923?guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3c%E2%80%A6&guccounter=2>; Archana More (2020): “Northeast Community Fends of Racist Attacks With Coronavirus Label” In the Pune Mirror, March 9. Available online <https://punemirror.indiatimes.com/pune/cover-story/northeast-community-fends-off-racist-attacks-with-coronavirus-label/articleshow/74542293.cms>; Sumir Karmakar (2020): “Coronavirus Outbreak Has Increased Racial Attacks on People From the Northeast: NGO Report” In the Deccan Herald, March 26. Available online <https://www.deccanherald.com/national/east-and-northeast/coronavirus-outbreak-has-increased-racial-attacks-on-people-from-the-northeast-ngo-report-817899.html >; Debarshi Dasgupta (2020): “Coronavirus Scare Prompts Racist Attacks on 'Chinese Looking' Indians” In the Straits Times, March 28. Available online <https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/south-asia/coronavirus-scare-prompts-racist-attacks-on-chinese-looking-indians>; Murali Krishnan (2020): “Coronavirus: Chinese Looking Indians Targeted in Racist Attacks” In the DW Website, 30 March. Available online <https://www.dw.com/en/coronavirus-chinese-looking-indians-targeted-in-racist-attacks/a-52956212>;

[xviii]         Jeremie Gilbert and David Keane (2016): “How French Law Makes Minorities Invisible” In the Independent, November 14. Available online <https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/how-french-law-makes-minorities-invisible-a7416656.html>

[xix]  BBC (2020): “Coronavirus: French Asians Hit Back With I'm Not a Virus” In the BBC News Website, January 29. Available online <https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-51294305>;  Joe Gamp (2020): “Chinese Nationals 'Racially Abused' by People Fearful of Catching Deadly Coronavirus” In Yahoo News, 30 January. Available online <https://uk.news.yahoo.com/coronavirus-outbreak-racist-abuse-chinese-nationals-italy-france-newspapers-184500834.htmlguccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmluZy5jb20vc2VhcmNoP3E9Y29yb25hK3ZpcnVzK3JhY2UrYXR0YWNrcythZ2FpbnN0K2NoaW5lc2UraW4rK2ZyYW5jZSZxcz1uJnNwPS0xJnBxPWNvcm9uYSt2aXJ1cytyYWNlK2F0dGFja3MrYWdhaW5zdCtjaGluZXNlK2luK2ZyYW5jZSZzYz0xLTUxJnNrPSZjdmlkPTA2RDI2Q0VDMkVGMDRFQjI4NTU3RjU0QjlBMEIwODhBJmZpcnN0PTExJkZPUk09UE9SRQ&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAH09mTSFPPgOwzClSIi6PR1Xf-K_ambHerkvJtGXsuuHiumvSQJe3RcOKGTp10-6HAEn-QdT3tO3UWp-ow47n39BlmSsvlSe170GoU24EK7v1NNpRLdgjHCefiDurROVIcMnRCe6AV_ShbkCpcjc5BSqjt1Eer_zbyLjkUvj_N8t>; Tamara Thiessen (2020): France in Grips of Racism Epidemic as Coronavirus Fans Anti-Asian Hysteria” In the Forbes Website, February 11. Available online <https://www.forbes.com/sites/tamarathiessen/2020/02/11/france-in-grips-of-racism-epidemic-as-coronavirus-fans-anti-asian-hysteria/#1e54349752d7>;

[xx]  Richelle Carey (2020): “Coronavirus: Why Are Africans in China Being Targeted?” In the Aljazeera Website, April 13. Available online <https://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/insidestory/2020/04/coronavirus-africans-china-targeted-200413185723311.html >;  Alice Su (2020): “No Blacks: Evicted, Harassed and Targeted in China For Their Race Amid Coronavirus” In the Los Angeles Times, April 16. Available online <https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2020-04-16/china-coronavirus-black-african-evictions >; Alice Chamber and Guy Davis (2020): “How Foreigners, Especially Black People, Became Unwelcome in Parts of China Amid COVID Crisis” in the ABC News Website. Available online <https://abcnews.go.com/International/foreigners-black-people-unwelcome-parts-china-amid-covid/story?id=70182204 >;

[xxi] Anna Russell (2020): “The Rise of Coronavirus Hate Crimes” In the New Yorker, March 17. Available online <https://www.newyorker.com/news/letter-from-the-uk/the-rise-of-coronavirus-hate-crimes >

[xxii]          Ibid.

[xxiii]         Ibid.

[xxiv]         Inae Oh (2020) supra.

[xxv]           Ibid.

[xxvi]         Ibid.

[xxvii]        Mark Piggott (2016): “Hate Crimes Soar By 400% in First Week After Referendum Result Following Brexit Result” In the International Business Times, 30 June. Available online  <http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/brexit-aftermath-hatecrimes-soar-by-400-first-week-after-referendum-result-1568353> ;  Press Association (2016): ”Race Hate Crime On Uk Railways Soared After Brexit Vote, Figures Show” In the Guardian, 22 August. Available online < https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/aug/22/race-hate-crime-uk-railways-soared-afterbrexit-vote-figures-show>  ;  Hayden Smith and Clare Hayhurst (2016): “Three Race Hate Crimes Ever Hour Since Eu Referendum, Says Met Police” In the  Independent, 5 July. Available online <http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/brexit-racehate-crime-eu-referendum-met-police-a7121401.html > ;   BBC (2016): “Met Police Deputy Chief Links Brexit Vote To Hate Crime Rise” In the BBC News Website, 20 July. Available online <http:// www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36835966>

[xxviii]       The Monitoring Group (2016): “ Brexit, Racism and Xenophobia: Listen to the Event Here” In the Monitoring Group Website, July 16. Available online <http://www.tmg-uk.org/brexit-racism-and-xenophobia-listen-to-the-event-here/ >; Jon Burnett (2016) supra.

[xxix]         Jon Burnett (2016): Racial Violence and the Brexit State. Institute of Race Relations. Available online <http://www.irr.org.uk/app/uploads/2016/11/Racial-violence-and-the-Brexit-state-final.pdf >

[xxx]          Ibid.

[xxxi]         Ibid.

[xxxii]         Jon Burnett (2016) supra. C/F Lizzie Dearden (2016a): “Theresa May's Government Condemned For Driving More Austerity and More Racism After Integration Review” In the Independent, Tuesday, December 6. Available online <https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/integration-review-dame-louise-casey-british-muslims-division-segregation-racism-islamophobia-a7458126.html >

[xxxiii]        Rob Mawby (2010): “Police Corporate Communications, Crime Reporting And The Shaping Of Policing News” In Policing & Society, Vol. 20 (1); Jon Burnett (2016) supra.

[xxxiv]       Jon Burnett (2016) supra.

[xxxv]        BBC (2016): “Hate Crime is Still Far Too High  Post Brexit – Police” In the BBC News Website, July 22. Available online <https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36869000 >; Jon Burnett (2016) supra.

[xxxvi]       Jon Burnett (2016) supra.

[xxxvii]      Lizzie Dearden (2016b): “Damning Report Condemns Rising Racist Violence and Hate Speech by Politicians and Press in Post Brexit Britain” In the Independent, Tuesday, October 4. Available online <https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/brexit-david-cameron-nigel-farage-council-of-europe-report-racist-violence-intolerance-hate-speech-a7345166.html >

[xxxviii]     Ibid.

[xxxix]       Ibid.

[xl]    Ibid.

[xli]   Ibid.

[xlii]  Ibid.

[xliii]           Lorraine White (1994): “The History of Blacks in Britain: From Slavery to Rebellion” Talk Given by Lorraine White to the Panther Branch Meeting in London. In the Socialist Alternative Website. Available online <https://www.socialistalternative.org/panther-black-rebellion/history-blacks-britain-slavery-rebellion/>

[xliv]          Ibid.

[xlv]  Peter Fryer (2018): Staying Power: The History of Black People in Britain. Pluto Press, London

[xlvi]          Institute of Race Relations (1981): “Background: British Racism” In Race and Class, October 1, Vol. 23 (2-3); Stephen Small (1994): Racialised Barriers: The Black Experience in the United States and England in the 1980s. Routledge, Abingdon; Florin Shyllon (1996): “The Black Presence and Experience in Britain: An Analytical Overview” In Ian Duffield and  Jagdish S. Gundara (eds.) Essays on the History of Blacks in Britain: From Roman Times to the Mid Twentieth Century. Avebury, Brookfield Vt.; Max Taylor, P. M. Currie and Donald Holbrook (eds.) (2013): Extreme Right Wing Political Violence and Terrorism. Bloomsbury, New York/London

[xlvii]         Ibid.

[xlviii]        Ibid.

[xlix]          Clifford Williamson (2019): “1919: Britain's Red Summer” In the BBC History Magazine, June 13. Available online <https://www.historyextra.com/period/20th-century/1919-britain-red-summer-race-riots-strikes-violence-revolution/>

[l]      Virgillo Hunter (2018): “Britain's 1919 Race Riots” In the Black Past Website, November 28. Available online <https://www.blackpast.org/global-african-history/britain-s-1919-race-riots/>

[li]     Jacqueline Jenkenson (2009): Black 1919: Racism and Resistance in Imperial Britain. Liverpool University Press, Liverpool

[lii]    Virgillo Hunter (2018) supra.

[liii]   Ibid.

[liv]   Jacqueline Jenkenson (2009) supra.

[lv]   Rozina Visram (2002): Asians in Britain: 400 Years of History. Pluto, London

[lvi]  Neil Evans (1980): “The South Wales Race Riots of 1919” In Llafur Vol. 3; Aamir Mohammed (2019): “The Notorious Race Riots of 1919 in Cardiff That Shamed Wales” In the Wales Online Website, June 16. Available online <https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/race-riots-cardiff-1919-butetown-16428953>  

[lvii] Roy May and Robin Cohen (1974): “The Interaction Between Race and Colonialism: A Case Study of the Liverpool Race Riots of 1919” In Race and Class, Vol. 16 (2);  Lorraine White (1994) supra.; Virgillo Hunter (2018) supra.

[lviii]          Virgillo Hunter (2018) supra.

[lix]   Ibid.

[lx]     Ibid.

[lxi]   Ibid.

[lxii]  Ibid.

[lxiii]          Ibid.

[lxiv]          Ibid.

[lxv]  David F. Krugler (2015): 1919, The Year of Racial Violence: How African Americans Fought Back. Cambridge University Press, New York

[lxvi]          Ibid.

[lxvii]          Nelson Blackstock (1988): Cointelpro: The FBI's War on Political Freedom. Pathfinder, New York; Chris Bratton and Annie Goldstein (1990): Framing the Panthers in Black and White. Video Data Bank, Chicago; Ward Churchill (2002): Cointelpro Papers: Documents From the FBI's Secret Wars Against Dissent in the United States. South End, Boston; United States Congress (2011): The FBI, Cointelpro and Martin Luther King Jr.: Final Report of the Select Committee to Study Governmental Operations With Respect to Intelligence Activities. Red and Black Publishers, St. Petersburg, Fla.

[lxviii]        Matt Taibbi (2017): I Can't Breathe: A Killing on Bay Street. Spiegel and Grau, New York; Wesley Lowery (2017): They can't Kill Us All: The Story of Black Lives Matter. Penguin Books, London; Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin (2017): The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin: Rest in Power.  Spiegel and Grau, New York; Benjamin Crump  ( 2019): Open Season: Legalized Genocide of Colored People. Harper Collins

[lxix]          John Belcham (2014): Before the Windrush: Race Relations in Twentieth Century Liverpool. Liverpool University Press; Colin Grant (2019): Homecoming: Voices From the Windrush Generation. Jonathon Cape, London; Kenny Monrose (2020): Black Men in Britain: An Ethnographic Portrait of the Post Windrush Generation. Routledge, Abingdon/New York

[lxx]   R. B. Davison (1964): Commonwealth Immigrants. Institute of Race Relations, London; Institute of Race Relations (1965): Coloured Immigrants in Britain. Institute of Race Relations, London;  Nicholas Deakin, Brian Cohen and Julia Mac Neal (1971): Colour, Citizenship and British Society. Panther Modern Society, London; Gus John and Derek Humphrey (1972): Because They're Black. Penguin, Harmondsworth; Rudy Narayan (1977): Black England. Descarta Publications, London; Nigel File and Chris Power (1995): Black Settlers in Britain: 1555-1958. Heinemann, London/Paris; Peter Fryer (2018): Staying Power: The History of Black People in Britain. Pluto Press, London

[lxxi]          Richard Thurlow  (1987): Fascism in Britain, A History: 1918-1985. Basil Blackwell, Oxford; David S. Lewis (1987): Illusions of Grandeur: Mosley, Fascism and British Society: 1941-1981. Manchester University Press, Manchester; Hans-Georg Betz and Stefan Immerfall (1987): The New Politics of the Right: Neo-Populist Paerties and Movements in Established Democracies. Palgrave Macmillan; Ray Hill and Andrew Bell (1988): The Other Face of Terror: Grafton Books, London

[lxxii]         Emily Cousins (2010a): “The Notting Hill Riots (1958)” In the Black Past Website, June 8. Available online <https://www.blackpast.org/global-african-history/notting-hill-riots-1958/>

[lxxiii]        Ron Ramdin (2017): The Making of the Black Working Class in Britain. Verso Books

[lxxiv]        Emily Cousins (2010a) supra.

[lxxv]         WCML (n/d): “Black and Asian Struggles: 1960s – 1980s” In the WCML Website. Available online <https://www.wcml.org.uk/our-collections/protest-politics-and-campaigning-for-change/black-and-asian-struggles/>

[lxxvi]        Emily Cousins (2010a) supra.

[lxxvii]       Ibid.

[lxxviii]      Emily Cousins (2010b): “Nottingham Riots (1985)” In the Black Past Website, August 30. Available online <https://www.blackpast.org/global-african-history/nottingham-riots-1958/>

[lxxix]        Peter Jackson (1988): “Beneath the Headlines: Racism and Reaction in Contemporary Britain” In Geography, June, Vol. 73 (3)

[lxxx]         Jon Burnett (2013): “Britain: Racial Violence and the Politics of Hate” In Race and Class, March 28, Vol.54 (4)

[lxxxi]        Benjamin Bowling (1998): Violent Racism: Victimization, Policing and Social Context. Oxford University Press, New York

[lxxxii]       Ibid.

[lxxxiii]      Ibid.

[lxxxiv]      Ibid.

[lxxxv]        James Southern (n/d):  “Black Skin, Whitehall: Race Relations and the Foreign Office, 1945-2018” In the Foreign and Colonial Office, History Notes, Issue 21. Available online <https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/745663/Race_and_FCO_History_Note.pdf >

[lxxxvi]      A. Sivanandan and Cheryl Kelly (1972): Register of Research on Commonwealth Immigrants in Britain. 6th edn. Institute of Race Relations, London; A. Sivanandan (1978): From Immigration Control to 'Induced Repatriation'. Institute of Race Relations, London; Refugee Forum (1986): The Refugee Challenge: A Rejection of the Home Affairs Committee Report on Refugees and Asylum Seekers. Refugee Forum, London; Robert Miles and Annie Phizacklea (1987): White Man's Country: Racism in British Politics. Pluto Press, London; Jon Solomos (1992): “ The Politics of Migration: 1945”  In Peter Braham, Ali Rattansi and Richard Skellington (eds.) Racism and Anti-Racism: Inequalities, Opportunities and Policies. Open University, London; Robin Cohen and Zig Layton-Henry (1997): The Politics of Migration. E. Elgar, Cheltenham UK/Northampton MA; Ian A. McDonald and Ronan Toal (2010): Immigration Law and Practice in the United Kingdom, Vol. 2. LexisNexis, London;

[lxxxvii]     John Solomos (1992) supra.

[lxxxviii]    Bob Carter, Clive Harris and Shirley Joshi (1987): The 1951-55 Conservative Government and the Racialisation of Black Immigration. Centre for Research in Ethnic Relations, Coventry; John Solomos (1992) supra.

[lxxxix]      Bob Carter, Clive Harris and Shirley Joshi (1987) supra.

[xc]   John Solomos (1992) supra.

[xci]         Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015): “Race, Law and the Police: Reflections on the Race Relations Act at 50” In Nadine El-Enany and Eddie Bruce Jones (eds.) Justice, Resistance and Solidarity: Race and Policing in England and Wales. Runneymede Trust, London  

[xcii]         Ibid.

[xciii]         Ibid.

[xciv]         Wilf Sullivan (2018): Apologies, Empty Promises And No Change - The Windrush Immigration Fiasco Continues”. In the TUC  WebBlog, April 27. Available online  <https://www.tuc.org.uk/blogs/apologies-empty-promises-and-no-change-windrush-immigration-fiascocontinues > The Editor (2018): “The Government Must Come Clean On The Depth Of The Windrush Crisis” In the Independent, June 21. Available online < https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/windrush-scandalcompulsory-deportations-theresa-may-sajid-javid-immigration-a8410576.html >; Gus John (2018): “Why I’m Turning Down Theresa May’s Invitation To Celebrate Windrush” In The Guardian, Thursday, June. 21 Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jun/21/turning-down-theresamay-windrush-reception-caribbean-hostile-environment >

[xcv]          Newham Monitoring Project (1990): Racism and Racist Violence in Schools: Towards Establishing Effective Anti-Racist Policies and practice in Newham. Newham Monitoring Project, London; The Racial Equality Centre and tThe St. Matthews Tenants Association (1994): Sorry I Can't Come Out to Play: Racial Attacks and Harassment on the St. Matthews Estate. The Racial Equality Centre and The St. Matthews Tenants Association, Leicester; Yvonne Dhooge and Jill Barelli (1996): Racial Attacks and Harassment: The Response of Social Landlords. HMSO; Helsinki Watch (1997): Racist Violence in the United Kingdom. Helsinki Watch, New York;  Dept. of the Environment, London; Omar Khan (2002): Perpetrators of Racial Violence and Harassment: A Runneymeade Research Report. Runneymede, London; Liz Dixon and Larry Ray (2007): “Current Issues and Development in Race Hate Ceime” In Probation, Vol. 54 (2); David Gadd and Bill Dixon (2011): Losing the Race: Thinking Psychosocially About Racially Motivated Crime. Karnac, London; Rob Witte (2017): Racist Violence and the State: A Comparative Analysis of Britain, France and the Netherlands. Routledge, New York;Wendy Laverick and Peter Joyce (2019): Racial and Religious Hate Crime: The UK From 1945-Brexit. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham

[xcvi]         Institute of Race Relations (n/d): “Racial Violence Statistics” In the Institute of Race Relations Website. Available online  <www.irr.org.uk/research/statistics/racial-violence/>

[xcvii]        Hannah Corcoran and Kevin Smith (2016): Hate Crime, England and Wales: 2016/2016. Home Office, London

[xcviii]       Office of National Statistics (2015): “Crime in England and Wales: Year Ending December 2014”. In the Office of National Statistics Website. Available online <https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/crimeinenglandandwales/2015-04-23 >;   Office of National Statistics (2016): “Crime in England and Wales: Year Ending December 2014”  In the Office of National Statistics Website. Available online <https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/crimeinenglandandwales/yearendingseptember2015 >

[xcix]         Home Office (2018): Hate Crime, England and Wales: 2017/2018. Home Office, London. Available online <https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/748598/hate-crime-1718-hosb2018.pdf>

[c]     Ben Quin (2019): “Hate Crimes Double in Five Years in England and Wales” In the Guardian, 15 October. Available online <https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/oct/15/hate-crimes-double-england-wales>

[ci]    Ibid.

[cii]  Ibid.

[ciii] Ibid.

[civ]  Aljazeera (2019): “Boris Johnson Refuses to Apologise For Racist 'Burka' “ In the Aljazeera Website, 29 November.

[cv]  Adam Bienkov (2019): “Boris Johnson Called Gay Men 'Tanked Top Bum Boys' and Black People 'Piccaninnes' with 'watermelon smiles'” In the Business Insider Website, November 22. Available online <https://www.businessinsider.com/boris-johnson-record-sexist-homophobic-and-racist-comments-bumboys-piccaninnies-2019-6?r=US&IR=T>

[cvi] Ibid.

[cvii]          Boris Johnson (2004): Seventy Two Virgins. Harper Collins, London

[cviii]         Boris Johnson (2004) supra.; Jonny Diamond (2019): “Reminder: Boris Johnson Wrote a Racist Novel in 2004” In the Hub Website, December 10. Available online <https://lithub.com/reminder-boris-johnson-wrote-a-racist-novel-in-2004/>

[cix] Stephen Castle (2020): “Boris Johnson Aide Quits After Furor Over Racial Comments” In the New York Times, February 17. Available online <https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/17/world/europe/boris-johnson-andrew-sabisky-dominic-cummings.html>

[cx]   Ibid.

[cxi]  Sky News (2019): “Stormzy Says UK is 'Definitely Racist' and Boris Johnson Has mad it Worse' In the Sky News Website, December 22. Available online <https://news.sky.com/story/stormzy-says-uk-is-definitely-racist-and-boris-johnson-has-made-it-worse-11892070>

[cxii]         Ibid.

[cxiii]        Toyin Owoseje (2020): “Brit Winner Dave Makes Political Statement in Performance, Calling Boris Johnson Out on Racism” In the CNN Website. Available online <https://edition.cnn.com/2020/02/19/entertainment/brit-awards-dave-2020-highlights-intl-scli-gbr/index.html>;

[cxiv]         Ibid.

[cxv]          Ibid.

[cxvi]         Kevin Schofield (2020): “Priti Patel Denies Boris Johnson is a Racist After Rapper Dave Criticises Prime Minister” In the Politics Home Website, 19 February. Available online <https://www.politicshome.com/news/article/priti-patel-denies-boris-johnson-is-a-racist-after-rapper-dave-criticises-prime-minister>

[cxvii]        Ibid.

[cxviii]       Dawn Butler (2020): “Why I Will Continue to Call Boris Johnson a Racist” In the Metro, Wednesday, March 11. Available online <https://metro.co.uk/2020/03/11/will-continue-call-boris-johnson-racist-12383387/>

[cxix]         Ibid.

[cxx]           Teun A. van Dijk (1991): Racism and the Press. Routledge, London/New York

[cxxi]          Ibid.

[cxxii]        Ibid.

[cxxiii]       Ibid.

[cxxiv]       Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015) supra.

[cxxv]        Ibid.

[cxxvi]       Paul Gordon and Penny Smith (1981): Passport Raids and Checks: Britain's Internal Immigration Controls. Runneymede Trust, London; Paul Gordon (1985): Policing Immigration: Britain's Internal Controls. Pluto Press, London;

[cxxvii]      Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015) supra.

[cxxviii]     Bethnal Green and Stepney Trades Council (1978): Blood on the Streets: A Report by Bethnal Green and Stepney Trades Council on Racial Attacks in East London. Bethnal Green and Stepney Trades Council, London

[cxxix]       Home Office (1981): Racial Attacks: Report of a Home Office Study. Home Office, London

[cxxx]       Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015) supra.

[cxxxi]      Francesca Klug (1982): Racist Attacks. Runneymede Trust, London

[cxxxii]     Paul Gordon (1985) supra.; Paul Gordon, Anne Newnham and Francesca Klug (1986): Different Worlds: Racism and Discrimination in Britain. Runneymede Trust, London; Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015) supra.

[cxxxiii]     Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015) supra.

[cxxxiv]    Ibid.

[cxxxv]    Ibid.

[cxxxvi]    Ibid.

[cxxxvii]   Ibid.

[cxxxviii]  William Macpherson (1999): The Stephen Lawrence Inquiry.  Home Office Cm 4262. Available online <https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/277111/4262.pdf>

[cxxxix]    Ibid.

[cxl] Ibid.

[cxli]         Ben Bowling, Shruti Iyer and Iyiola Solanke (2015) supra.

[cxlii]         Ibid.

[cxliii]        Ibid.

[cxliv]        Ibid.

[cxlv]         Ibid.

[cxlvi]        Ibid.

[cxlvii]       Inquest (2020): “BAME Deaths in Police Custody” In the Inquest Website. Available online <https://www.inquest.org.uk/bame-deaths-in-police-custody>

[cxlviii]      Harmit Athwal (2015): “Dying For Justice” In In Nadine El-Enany and Eddie Bruce Jones (eds.) Justice, Resistance and Solidarity: Race and Policing in England and Wales. Runneymede Trust, London  

[cxlix]        Institute of Race Relations (1991): Deadly Silence: Black Deaths in Custody. Institute of Race Relations, London; Harmit Athwal (2002): “Black Deaths in Custody”, November 11. Available online <http://www.irr.org.uk/news/black-deaths-in-custody/>; (2015) supra.; Harmit Athwal and Jenny Bourne (2015): Dying For Justice: Institute of Race Relations, London

[cl]    Ibid.

[cli]   Ibid.

[clii]   Harmit Athwal and Jenny Bourne (2015) supra.

[cliii]           Ibid.

[cliv]          Bruce Y Lee (2020): “How COVID-19 Coronavirus is Uncovering Anti Asian Racism” In Forbes, February 18. Available online <https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2020/02/18/how-covid-19-coronavirus-is-uncovering-anti-asian-racism/#6f6f356529a6>  

[clv]  Ibid.

[clvi]          Ibid.

[clvii]         Riz Hussain (2018): “Shining a Spotlight on Structural Racism in Britain Today” In the TUC Website. Available online <https://www.tuc.org.uk/blogs/shining-spotlight-structural-racism-britain-today>

[clviii]        Ibid.

[clix]          Domiziana Turcatti (2020): “Coronavirus A (Missed) Opportunity to Rethink Racism?” In the Compas Website, March 18. Available online <https://www.compas.ox.ac.uk/2020/coronavirus-a-missed-chance-to-rethink-racism/>

[clx]  Eleanor Cummins (2020): “The New Coronavirus is Not an Excuse to be Racist” the Verge Website, February 4. Available online <https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/4/21121358/coronavirus-racism-social-media-east-asian-chinese-xenophobia>

[clxi]          Eleanor Cummins (2020): “The New Coronavirus is Not an Excuse to be Racist” the Verge Website, February 4. Available online <https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/4/21121358/coronavirus-racism-social-media-east-asian-chinese-xenophobia>

[clxii]           Nancy Spiegel and Tam Huynh (2020): “Racism is a Virus Too” In the BDN Website, May 27. Available online <https://bangordailynews.com/2020/04/19/opinion/contributors/racism-is-a-virus-too>

[clxiii]        Ibid.

[clxiv]        Aniruddah Pathak (2020): “The Virus of Racism” In the Poem Hunter Website, March 3. Available online <https://www.poemhunter.com/poems/racism/page-1/57811491/>

[cum-om-me]

Personal Entry:

Otter here, first i guess itd be fair to explain a few things up top.

Firstly Otter is a metaphorical alter ego which was created based of a nick name given to me in highh school.

I was coined as "the nomadic Otter" due to my well known history of drifting continuously through this existence being born in a foreign land not to many continents away,but like a gracious river otter flowing with the rivers which eventually reach the seas, i was always stoned more naive, but ironically zen. I was brought here by my single mother at four yrs old, my father was never in the picture nor was i allowed to speak about him or inquire about him to my family and those who may have any information regarding the history of my own coming into being.

We became permanent residents four years later and im currently going through the process of naturalization. I went through the american education system since pre kindergarten so naturalization has occured as an outcome, but just isn't finalized and paid for so i am now going through that initiation. Ive paid and gone through the preliminary round.

We landed in a small town in texas, age four. Came to california at fifteen, twenty years id moved one year to, year and a half due to my mothers profession In the medical field, sometimes, or i guess i should say almost always, we would have to go to where the work was most needed in order to sustain our basic living, taking us all over texas and parts of southern california. After eighteen yrs of age, i left home with duffel bag and a guitar because i wanted to escape the conventual fate planned for me by my elders.

Nature loves courage.... And it is Apparently so.

Of course there are so many factors and so much information to divulge to add the proper context to the point im trying to get to in the conclusion of this story. Im afraid id diverge so ill have to return to all that some other day.

Now that you understand where the otter ego within me (pun intended) was teased and entertained as an ideal character for the person i am, its seeds didnt really start sprouting till last year (2019) and its peaked above the mud, i can explain my newly found understanding of the purpose of using this "alter ego" "character" "avatar" to be able to dissolve the borders of my own limitations as a person creating art. To be able to truly entertain these thoughts through the medium of the otter avatar and not as the man, for it has been increasingly difficult for me to be able to contemplate and philosophize with my peers and the community of souls i once accepted as my tribe, in a way of intellectual taste and progress.. Now it seems the bridges between me and the village are dissolving and im trying to understand why. I stand on the side which i believe to be that of the importance of knowledge of self, critical thinking, and responsible skepticism in order to be able maintain reason within the tribe, to perserve that which is most human in our nature, in comparison to the madness we have seen over and over throughout history displaying itself in obvious patterns of repetition that consumed mobs rabidly, making itself its own enemy. Lets use a symbolic metaphor. The snake eats its own tail in the delusions of unity to find when its finished nothing remains but its mind left exposed, and without protection from even the weakest but competent prey.

You see the metaphors are simply the inner poet, using symbolic visual linguistic tools to paint a clearer picture.

We are a story driven organism, just ask the keepers of morality and the stories of god which has defined the basis of our now hypocritical society using it like a crutch too old to withstand the withering of time, frail and ready to snap like a twig beneath ones feet.

As george carlin once said "no one seems to notice, no one seems to care" and every debate that has naturally transpired in my social structures as of late has lead to a point where logical conclusions, non threatening ones at that, lead to the opposing side raising their white flag and settling for mediocrity. "I dont care, leave me alone"

Then the attack on personality and character are used as a defenses to preserve the beliefs already founded due to the uncomfortable nature of growth.

I sit and watch as i always have the flicker, flame and smell of the bridge burning in blazes right before my teary eyed soul.

Am I no longer included, wanted by the collective community? Has my own pursuit for knowledge, understanding, truth and the inner rapture of personal discovery lead me to ruins door? Am i incapable of getting out of my own way? Can you even go to far within yourself?

No one wants me to feel but its not ok to feel nothing at all

To think but, only on the agreeable subjects of status quo

To speak when spoken to but to only speak what is conveniently easy to digest by a still watered mind threatened by the chaos of waves beating on the shores of its shared sands.

Has erosion driven us mad. Have the corrupted springs poisoned our waters too far beyond repair.

Must i reluctantly recluse amidst the tides and hide underneath lonely currents that travel vast desserts beneath oceans.

Pandemics, parks closed, beaches are now illegal to its native children, by a seemingly upset stepdad whos love is equal to obedience and incapable of parenting,it seems theyre now gunning for the fringe, the free, the open, the love expressed through physical incarnation as its own self love for its own existence, through the odd, differnt, freaks, weirdos, mutants, prophets, and visionaries

Why should i fight for those who dont care about their own person their, own freedom.

Why stand for those who wouldnt even stand with you, nor for you.

"Those who trade freedom for security deserve neither"

-Benjamin Franklin

Yet who am i to claim that anyone deserves anything or doesnt. So regardless of the I Dont Care Generation emerging. I choose to care for not what is principles of good or evil but what i intuitively feel is sincere and right. So I must begin with myself and only in following intention will i be able to incite any real change. By making a difficult choice and knowing that it feels as though the risk is worth the gamble.

So now ive heard loud and clear and i have nothing else to let go of but this. So ill hold my tongue and wish for the best. For the eutopia not the the sneaky slip into distopia.

There's nothing further i can do other than create, experiance, enjoy, let go, and face the music, To put it as Alan Watts did, " this doesnt mean you wont jump when you hear the bang, or that you wont feel fear, but youll accept it, and the person who understands the tao in the morning my sleep peacefully at night"

"Once the mind has been extended it cant ever go back"

-Terrence Mckenna

I hope that you know ive accepted the multitudes of possible outcomes for our future, i may be optimistic but i feel prepared, oddly prepared. This isnt a statement or message based on fear but something none the lesse my heart cannot hold in.

So Otter is born so to speak to embody the imagination im trying to let out without it being taken seriously, but sincerely and within the temple of the timeless. Art.

Without it having to be the me, the person, that funny feeling between the eyes that screams out I, who finds himself walking away from flames due to trial and failure in channeling its own expression. I will not desist i just must evolve and create the platform on which i may rebuild. The system updated and the restart brought about change. Now we begin again. Full of breath, with new found vision, i forgive myself for my failures but i wouldnt ever be able to look at my own reflection if i didnt try until i got it right. I vow to myself and olny to myself for thats the only source of validation needed to exist freely, sovereign, that i will do my best to be who i am meant to be, the being and self of my choosing.

"Most people spend their lives trying to find themselves, lifes about creating yourself"

-Bob Dylan

So in conclusion i know im different, and it may be intimidating but you cant just get rid of it, turns out you must overcome it, and the only way out is through and for me that began when i went within.

I am all for the rules, and being apart of this country and its society and obeying social order but as John Locke wrote in "Common Sense" that this is an unspoken agreement between the govenrment and its people that so long as they are just in ruling us" we will have to obey the law but there must be a way for its people to regain its country when tyranny and injustice is getting in the way of democratic processes and this is coming from a almost fully naturalized immigrant that came here to seek safe haven from a Democratic country plagued by unfairness. It would be a pitty to see it happen to a promise land founded of rich ideals. To those ive come to see as my own brothers and sisters, i love the ideal of true patriotism but where has it gone? If i need to be more protective of my personal privacy so that i may be able to practice my philosophical self studies, music, and comedy, to persue basic creative thinking methods openly. Then i choose this mask nit the one i was told to wear since birth. Theres always an person beneath the mask playing into the drama of this darma and we get into yoga with its fun to preten that we loose ourselves and assume the identity of the character portrayed in the scene in order to truly bring the crowd to the edge of its seat in awe and anticipation of the beauty of its poetry that at the end when the play is concluded both protagonist and antagonist join hands and the audience cheers for both equally for the dazzling deception and its cleverness for playing on the emotions of the observer.

Then the cast returns to the green room and become again who they were naturally.

Im 26 and ive found my character and im ready to submerse myself in its divine play and get involved participate, get lost in the mask of the person which is temporary but the spark behind conciousness seems to be the driving energy of existence benevolent, and eternel. Worth gambling so, now we roll the dice and hit the mystery button, just like the amnesia serum we gave ourselves before conception, into the womb we went. Only when you awaken your consciousness in the dream do you get to control the avatar, lucidly.

It doesnt seem to be a requirement, more like an EXPERIANCE badge rewarded for interesting work in the feild.

These again are ideals, not truths, thoughts and patterns worth examining and if capable entertaining till the conclusions and realizations of truth or delusion run their course. If you havent reached that point you havent really thought it through logistically right?

Lets discuss this comment below.